#i have a lot of creative energy

[arcaneyouth]

yknow maybe i should've been addressing my problems with my own art months ago

#vent post #negative #trying not to be super negative tho #i'm just. i have a lot of time. to make art #i have a lot of creative energy #i have the desire to create it #...and it's scaring me. i'm talking myself out of it. like i like it better in my head cause once it gets out of my head its #not right. #i thought i solved most of it. and i think i did. turns out i don't actually like people commenting on my art all that much #cause i've been trying to make myself marketable instead of having fun and it's been killing my urge to make art #but i guess that wasn't all of it. cause instead of freaking out about letting other people down #i'm freaking out about letting myself down #cause i guess i don't. like my art???? #this might be looping back around to the marketable thing tho cause i've been so scared to experiment with my art #and now i don't really remember how #which is pretty fuckin annoying #i just wanna have fun again. why does this feel so hard #i just want to make something because i want to make it not because it'll be the most perfect thing on the planet but i don't know how to #stop myself from thinking like that anymore!!!! i don't Know!! #i think i maybe should've started avoiding comments on my art way sooner. this isn't the fault of anybody who leaves comments on my art #but i think if i had recognized what was happening sooner this wouldn't have become so lodged in my head as it is #god it's really been like a year since this started. head in my hands

[fiendishartist2]

redraw of this post from bunnyfarm's release

kofi|instagram

#my last piece kinda disappointed me just bc i feel like i can do better #idk i think my style is taking a turn and im not sure how to work w it yet. i like messy art that looks kind of childish?- #-if that makes sense #but that kind of clashes w my way of drawing and i also have like no energy or creativity left bc of school </3 so its hard to draw #at least stuff that i really like that are like fully rendered and not just doodles or character standing w white background lol #so i took inspo from an old piece of mine to make this and sort of update it and i really like it!! i think my colours are way better #in the original they were kinda washed out i think and this is a lot more striking #me when primary colours #my art #digital art #artists on tumblr #the walten files #twf #bunnyfarm #sophie walten #jack walten #felix kranken #twf spoilers #tw eyestrain

[disappeareddraws]

(text post source)

just a regular convo on the battle subway

#submas #nimbasa trio #ingo #elesa #emmet #pokemon #fanart #draws #i did not think my first post in ages would be submas again i literally only just got the brainworms again while replaying bw/bw2 #like i had a whole ass persona 5 fixation and just. didnt post abt it #bc work has been eating a lot of my creative energy #anyway this shitpost has been crawling around in my brain for a week so fuck it have late night doodles

[syn4k]

to be, or not to be (romanticization of the inevitable)

#ray's tag #keys' art #undescribed #skeletons #ok to reblog #the skeleton model that i traced for this was provided by the incredible kiku @kikunai whom you can find right here on tumblr! #so uh. This is a piece about chronic fatigue although the original idea i had for it drifted a bit as soon as I started coloring the linear #(i really enjoy shading and lighting things and got a bit carried away here but i stand by my choice because this is my favorite thing #that i've ever drawn) #anyways. i often feel especially lately with school being back in season that my bones are leaden with this sort of. weariness. theyre heav #it weighs on our mental health and energy a lot and although there's a couple of reasons we have been given for it #that doesn't remove the fact that this is still a thing that affects us in a very real way day to day although we are good at masking it. #often i come home to find that i do not have the physical mental or creative energy to work on things i really want to #especially project: nexus which i feel extra bad about even though i can't help it because i just started it so recently #it is a mild to moderate struggle to make it day to day and i just. wanted to represent this somehow #my original concept for this was a skeleton with some black goop gunk whatever leaking from its joints #but as i started adding the cracks and coloring them gold (a personal touch; kintsugi is a concept that is very dear to us) #i realized that the focus here was less on the condition itself and more on the body that it afflicts. #so i put it into a spotlight. #ironic i know since very little people acknowledge this irl or even know it exists at all but i added rim lighting. I added color gradients #I colored the lineart and made it all fancy and even added a flare for the head to get the point across that even at its core; disability i #a performance. this is not implying that disabilities are fake in fact this is the opposite of that. i wanted to show that with disabilitie #especially i think in my personal opinion the invisible ones #we are all masking at least a little bit during the vast majority of the day. humans are social creatures and it is only when we are alone #or with someone we deeply trust where we allow ourselves to be who we truly are without fear and even then that can be rare #so i wanted to show this bit of the soul in as broad a limelight as i could. idk this is a really abstract piece and i dont know if anyone #will even get it but it matters to me at least. and even though we've been largely bedridden for the past week i think that's okay #we will get it figured out. all of us. okay? okay. i love you. i fucking love you. we are going to fucking make it #(also the xes over the eyes are because i thought they looked cool they have no deeper meaning at least i think they dont #actually i think they do but i cant put it into words idk. Art is subjective assign your own meaning i'm gonna go get a shower)

[tmntismdoodls]

old doodles pages

#hi yeah im not dead my health’s just gotten a lot worse #i have like no energy for creative endeavors atm so. Yay…. #my art #art #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt raphael #tmnt donatello #tmnt leonardo #tmnt mondo gecko #tmnt mona lisa #tmnt 87 #tmnt 1987 #tmnt 2012

[wife-beam]

luo bingge would love to put sj in a saw trap but i’ll be honest i think he lacks creativity

#all the spirit all the bastard energy but could he REALLY design traps #like really truly #sending someone a leg and a note saying Come Here is a lot like a rock to the head #trap wise #do i even want to tag this as sv #no actually just a fun little post for whoever sees it #who wants to have that conversation on whether saw traps are actually creative or am i just easily compelled by Thingamajigs

[theshadowrealmitself]

Can we get more Spider-Man content? I’ve already read through all of the current ones, and I crave more. All of your posts are great and I’d love to see more of them.

I’d love to make more fun posts but I’m still recovering from being sick rn and classes just started back so I’ve been mostly suffering these past few days so my brain just hasn’t really been working 😭

But! I can leave this one thought for you:

Peter Parker working for Norman Osborn while he’s still an undergraduate and getting into a whispered heated argument with him when Norman a) takes one of Peter’s designs and unveils it without crediting him and also b) removes safety features from it to make it cheaper to manufacture it

Peter quits on the spot when he realizes Norman isn’t sorry for what he’s done and isn’t gonna make things right, and Norman threatens him with never getting to “work in this town again” and good luck proving those were his designs and Oscorp’s also keeping all of Peter’s other stuff that they’ve stolen from him

(This is about the time that Norman’s started taking the goblin serum so he’s just at absolute peak asshole™️ mode)

Within seconds of Norman telling Peter he won’t stand a chance against Oscorp’s legal team, especially as a broke college student, Matt Murdock shows up after sprinting towards them (his super hearing letting him hear the entire argument) to hand Peter his business card and let him know he’ll take his case pro-bono

#I know people say they spend a lot of time on tumblr when they aren’t doing okay #but I feel like I’m the opposite #if I’m making a lot of posts then there’s a good chance I’m in a good place to be creative #(or maybe I’m procrastinating something 😭) #also!! putting tags on reblogs helps me with creating posts 🥺👉👈 #it’s always great to either get feedback or to have someone add something that I can then add to #making a fun creative cycle #this ask feels like it came from my brain #especially with that spidey dream I had #I want to make more spidey (and Star Trek and aliens and DP) posts #but just getting through the day rn is taking all my energy 😭😭😭 #Spiderman #spider man #spider-man #Peter Parker #norman osborn #green goblin #matt murdock #daredevil #ask #ask box

[jays-supersonic-dynamo]

bunch of mr e echo doodles. mr eechos if you would

#my art #fanart #lego ninjago #ninjago #echo julien #mr e #echo zane #mr e ninjago #echo ninjago #this is only true if you follow the echo is mr e AND mr f theory #or it can be true in your heart… if you believe it so…. #had fun w especially the lineart here… wish it was a bit more visible but oh well #line weights! they’re scary! #also i drew a motorcycle :.D #i just have a lot of energy to make creative stuff and also no energy where is it going.

[simgerale]

me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game

#hi everyone #I’m going around hugging you all #okay now that we are gathered here today #i will simply acknowledge that i have been gone for a very long time and then also acknowledge that maybe it was for the best #i relied on sims to be my only creative activity even if i tried to write a book at the same time #and also. i prioritized sims over real life responsibilities. that’s just a deadly combination lol #but I recently noticed I just replaced sims with Netflix. with YouTube. with anything that gave me quick dopamine #literally became addicted in a sense. still am but I’ve been cut cold turkey from most everything #I get off work and go. okay I’ve done the dishes and the laundry……..I could read or write or bake…. #I try to write and sometimes i get a good hour #then I read for a few hours and then get tired of it #and I made cookies Tuesday so I’m waiting for those to be gone before baking again #I’m just so pitiful that I feel BORED and don’t know what to do #so I said….. okay what if I do sims for an hour. #I downloaded some new cc Tuesday and tried to play yesterday #y’all ……………….. I can’t find the energy anymore to set up elaborate scenes and pose my sims and plan posts #I said wow… this is boring without my intervention and fake story #I said wow…….. all this for what? for tumblr? yes I created cool things and provided joy. but is that inherintly important compared to my #own joy? my own everyday activities I should be doing? #y’all I do not leave the house unless we got out to eat or shop or travel to our parents #.. I have little desire to. I’m trying to find that desire #but my husband is busy with grad school and work and I don’t want to do anything by myself #I’ve found myself in one heck of a slump #I didn’t want to be human for awhile. just had no desires no interests no ambitions #I was slacking off SO HARD at work. I just had no drive to do well #I’m still working on it. I’m still trying to get caught up. I’m still trying to force myself to move every day. #but I am struggling y’all. and I can tell you that sims… sims isn’t helping rn but I want it to so bad. I want to get back into it #I didn’t mean to disappear on everyone. I got married and then life got busy and then I fell into this hole of nothing #I didn’t even WANT to crawl my way out. but my husband has helped a lot. I feel like such a child!!!! #I reached max tags. 🙃 bye love you all. till next time

[icewindandboringhorror]

recent lounging babey images

#he's so floppy recently and I hope it's just the heat. I think wamr weather makes everyone floppy and loungy #a beauntifulle boye... #cats #STILL working on posting some drafts. finishing new poll adventure.. other things... It's just hard with the weather and other things going #on. I've had a few more doctors appointments and other things to do recently that have to be done in a time limit #so I hvae to use my extremely limited energy working on that instead of doing the things I'd really rather do. :T #Main focuses though are keeping up better with doing and posting costumes + sculptures as main creative things. at least finishing the #main poll adventure story. Reworking the game I kind of abandoned for a few years. keeping up with game videos and a few other side things. #Especially the game though. I've been in a really worldbuildy mood recently. I just wish that was easier to manifest into something. I've #now put the worldbuilding slideshow reading video on pause for a while because it's SOOO long to do #and I think I should prioritize making games and stuff instead. but still other things. IT's just kind of like.. I have a whole world and #everything very built and planned out but now.. what do I do with it? what's the best way to share that? factual slideshows just going over #the information like a dictionary? make it into a game? write short stories? do art attached to the world? etc. etc. ?? There are so many #potential avenues I end up kind of flip flopping between them a lot because none really seem more beneficial than the others and they all #seem equally enjoyable and also equally hard so. It's like?? I guess just do what the hell ever and hope I made the right choice in terms o #cost benefit and reward for my time lol. ANYWAY.. Also why I'm in my 'trying to make friends' era still because I think having other creat #ive friends can help you find direction like.. people will meet each other and then go 'hey lol just for fun lets start a project together! #and then like 5 years later it's genuinely become something. etc. having other people to help weed out ideas and start small creative teams #together and etc. I feel is a very beneficial part of networking or whatever but also I have the social capacity of a stale bread roll and #am also inherently unrelatable to seemingly a majority of people due to my hermit wizard swag (detachment from general society and hyper #focus on fantasy worlds in my head gjhghj) so trying to meet people as a grown adult with social issues is Very easy and fun (it is not) #even very basic things like my core communication style is so incompatible with a lot of people it's like.. hhhh... People in this modern #age have GOT to stop being afraid of phone calls and/or text that is longer than 6 paragraphs. Work with me here. I WANT to talk to you. bu #I do not know what your emojis mean and it's physically impossible for me to type less than 85 sentences. please.. hhjgjgb #AAANYWAY!! I am working on things when I can given the circumstances (SUMMER).. hopefully some costume pictures and stuff soon. :'3 #I've not forgotten about my art and etc. - as usual I just am bad at social media and also functioning if it's above 65F lol

[absenthearted]

HISTORICAL WESTERN || HACKEARNEY + ALTERNATE UNIVERSES [2/?]

PERSONAL.—Gentleman, aged 56, Sheriff and owner of valuable mining property, seeking the acquaintance of a single or widow lady of any means, and with good character and disposition. Object matrimony if suited. Contact C. Hackett, North Kill, NY.

[...]

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY.—Apprenticeship available for a hardworking, dedicated Physician in mining town upstate. Lodging and transportation provided. Ability to serve both man and beast preferred. Contact C. Hackett, North Kill, NY.

Between dealing with roving outlaws, petty small-town disputes, and feral wild wolves, Sheriff Travis Hackett doesn’t have time for marriage and a wife. His meddling brother decides to help him out—whether he wants it or not.

Laura Kearney never thought she would become a mail-order bride, but she’s willing to do almost anything to pursue her dream of becoming an animal doctor.

In which a secret matchmaking plan goes terribly wrong, Laura gets rejected by her supposed fiancé on the same day that she meets him, and Travis makes a terrible first impression. [Inspired by @genevievedarcygranger’s prompt from the Hackearney Fic Exchange.]

#hackearney #travis x laura #travis hackett #laura kearney #the quarry #hackearney AU gifseries #sometimes i make things #extremely vague anachronistic historical AU lmao #what year does it take place? who knows #i know i should be working on my wip lmao but this is all the creative energy i have write now #...writing synopses and creating gifsets for a story i may or may not ever write one day #i didn't end up choosing the wild west AU prompt for various reasons but this was basically my pitch for it lmao #it got a little too complicated #the brainstorming note was... a lot #(rejected) mail order bride which turns into a marriage of convenience after certain inciting events #maybe i'll write it one day who knows lol #i think i have one more simpler contemporary-based AU but i do actually plan on writing it #so maybe somewhere down the line #i have a lot of AUs but it's hard when i actually want to use their faces lol #anyway sources: hell on wheels s3 (siobhan looks SO young here but she's actually 23) for all except travis/ted #which is from darkness rising #(these gif sizes are so big i'm so sorry)

[chipped-chimera]

Seeing crochet clothing being 'in' now is always kind of frustrating as someone who can actually crochet for shit (evidence attached) because as much as I'd love to be able to maybe sell some of that work, ultimately you can't compete with that store (machine?)grade shit. A crochet maxi-skirt made from granny squares is selling for AUD $60. AUD $60 wouldn't even cover the cost of the materials (in a nice, wearable quality yarn). :/

Well at least when I make something I know it's not gonna be basic bitch shit -

#kerytalk #crochet #fuck corpos #I guess I can file this under that #also no joke this has been on the last row for nearly a year because I'm just 'if I finish it what the fuck do I do #I think it cost me idk ... 150? AUD for materials #this is just acrylic but it doesn't feel shit #I flip flop on starting a small business for money because I do have a lot of creative hobby knowledge I can sell #crochet and then I can make seed-bead earrings #I can sew decent too #made a bunch of masks during the pandemic #I just really do not have the energy to market that shit though #right now I'm considering learning to sculpt jewellery for 3D printing #but I think I'd need someone to team up with because managing that commercially is beyond me #I GUESS #ventpost

[mp3minded]

what is this finance bro doing to me? 😭

#i have an art tablet‚ but the pen crapped out on me by the time i mustered the courage to use it 🥲 #i was thinking i should get a standard ipad instead? or something like that‚ we'll see #i don't draw super often‚ but after this piece‚ i think i should 👀 i really surprised myself here‚ i rarely drew guys before 😭 #and here i was thinking i would've drawn ozzy 1st. shit is gettin' spooky out here 💀 #i drew liam last night because‚ i had a lot of balled up creative energy for him‚ but i didn't want to start writing for him yet without #a proper MC for him‚ so it's led to this 🥺 #litg liam #litg s8 #litg tempting fate #litg #love island the game #litg fanart #litg art #my art

[mars-ipan]

i do miss being a little kid and creating the most vividly fucked up stories with my toys that i could

#i would say it was one of my fav little girl things but i did it with my brother mostly #and he sometimes got more into it than me #it’s great we had stories of abuse kidnapping murder #i thought up a looooot of kidnapping stories. i think it was how i coped with the intrusive thoughts of break-ins i’d get lmao #but this isn’t abt my GAD this is about my creative bloodlust #what even was a sleepover if you and ur best friend weren’t roleplaying an evil torture dungeon with her lps toys #or pretending to be foxes in the wild and getting mauled by bears #<- i was not a warrior cats kid but was friends with them. we all liked foxes so we were usually foxes #honestly i think a lot of my artistic energy is spent trying to return to that level of raw creative energy and power #it was always either violent or everyone was having sex with each other #to the kid with internalized homophobia who would jokingly torment me with ‘lesbian’ barbies in daycare (which we later got in trouble for): #thanks for helping me make the connection that lesbians were just girls who liked girls (like my aunts #also really funny that we’re both gay now #hey friends and mutuals who wants to play barbies with me and have them cannibalize each other #girlish whimsy. for free. cmon it’ll be so much fun

[isfjmel-phleg]

I have so many things in drafts right now. So many stories to read--and I do want to read and comment on all of them! So many things to write--I am going to complete the Chesterton Challenge, but I'm going to do it in June because May demanded too much of me to write then. So many analyses to finish--I am never out of comicsposting thoughts. But tonight I am very tired on a lot of levels. All of my social obligations for the rest of the week canceled themselves (thank goodness, although it did mean that I walked to the grocery store in the hot sun after work for sort of no reason now), and I need some time to recover. I'm going to read in peace and quiet tonight. It sounds nice. You will get posts of some sort of description from this blog eventually. Just...thank you for being patient with me at the moment.

#random personal stuff #I am coming to realize that there are three things that take a massive amount of energy #being Productive and Social and Creative #if I have to prioritize one of them in particular the others have to suffer #I should be able to handle this there is no reason why I can't #lots of people are boundlessly effortlessly all of those things all the time #I regret I'm not one of them #anyway good night

[goldkirk]

as I'm going back over my past history and items and journals and years, I come across all sorts of things, like the pencil I saved from that so-precious memory from second grade, and a pair of flip flops I've been missing for two years, and (tw for murder/crime/killings) the modern-high-school-AU-kidnapped-by-a-serial-killer story I wrote in late high school jdfsjdfsjkjlksfd

#i can't wait to find out what red flags I didn't see in my own self back when I last read this thing in 2015 hfdhfdhjsfd #also. there's gonna be like a good sentence here and there and then CRINGE. the whole rest of everything is just me still trying to copy th #breathing pace (essentially) and ways-of-describing-things of mainstream authors like I thought I was supposed to #so this'll be somewhat painful but also god what a joy and a gift and an honor and a delight to get to hold this close to my heart #and witness it with understanding and empathy and slow reflection and care like my past younger self deserves #i'm so lucky i'm alive to be here and do this #i'm so grateful i'm headed towards welcoming back and embracing the last little girl i was that still felt a lot of things #so excited for her focus and precision and tenacity and constant curious joy and movement to be back someday #i'm afraid people won't like the me i was before rule after rule and then dangers #but my god it'll feel so good to be the fully-flowing energy machine and dance and conduit again how will I have enough bother to care? #people who are good to each others' nervous systems cumulatively feel better and better #if i'm not good for you and yours then you really truly SHOULD go elsewhere and find someone who makes YOUR self feel right and light + war #anyway now that i wrote an essay in the tags as usual [nervous laughter] #personal #add to journal #words n rhythm #WHY DID I FEEL CAPABLE OF UNDERTAKING A STORY LIKE THIS #cradling my past self gently but also BANGING my HEAD against the WALL lmao #i'm proud of myself for writing and sharing this and its creative ideas. even if i don't like it now or feel ashamed or see mistakes. #anything. it mattered that it came to me and it mattered that i explored it and it mattered that i poured myself through it to help shape i #and it mattered that I left it on the internet so that now it still exists. i'm going to honor this story no matter what current me would #objectively think about it if it was written by anyone else. #this is a gift i give myself now. #this is a lot of what I learn and learn to do #trauma evolution #mosswrites