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#anyway now that i wrote an essay in the tags as usual [nervous laughter]
goldkirk · 3 months
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as I'm going back over my past history and items and journals and years, I come across all sorts of things, like the pencil I saved from that so-precious memory from second grade, and a pair of flip flops I've been missing for two years, and (tw for murder/crime/killings) the modern-high-school-AU-kidnapped-by-a-serial-killer story I wrote in late high school jdfsjdfsjkjlksfd
#i can't wait to find out what red flags I didn't see in my own self back when I last read this thing in 2015 hfdhfdhjsfd#also. there's gonna be like a good sentence here and there and then CRINGE. the whole rest of everything is just me still trying to copy th#breathing pace (essentially) and ways-of-describing-things of mainstream authors like I thought I was supposed to#so this'll be somewhat painful but also god what a joy and a gift and an honor and a delight to get to hold this close to my heart#and witness it with understanding and empathy and slow reflection and care like my past younger self deserves#i'm so lucky i'm alive to be here and do this#i'm so grateful i'm headed towards welcoming back and embracing the last little girl i was that still felt a lot of things#so excited for her focus and precision and tenacity and constant curious joy and movement to be back someday#i'm afraid people won't like the me i was before rule after rule and then dangers#but my god it'll feel so good to be the fully-flowing energy machine and dance and conduit again how will I have enough bother to care?#people who are good to each others' nervous systems cumulatively feel better and better#if i'm not good for you and yours then you really truly SHOULD go elsewhere and find someone who makes YOUR self feel right and light + war#anyway now that i wrote an essay in the tags as usual [nervous laughter]#personal#add to journal#words n rhythm#WHY DID I FEEL CAPABLE OF UNDERTAKING A STORY LIKE THIS#cradling my past self gently but also BANGING my HEAD against the WALL lmao#i'm proud of myself for writing and sharing this and its creative ideas. even if i don't like it now or feel ashamed or see mistakes.#anything. it mattered that it came to me and it mattered that i explored it and it mattered that i poured myself through it to help shape i#and it mattered that I left it on the internet so that now it still exists. i'm going to honor this story no matter what current me would#objectively think about it if it was written by anyone else.#this is a gift i give myself now.#this is a lot of what I learn and learn to do#trauma evolution#mosswrites
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spnrelatedurl · 7 years
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Stay Beautiful - Chapter 1
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A/N: I’m doing a complete re-do of Stay Beautiful. I’ll keep the original first chapter up, but I won’t be updating that anymore. Sorry. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this. It’s a little bit different, but still a Jared daughter story. It’s based heavily on a book I once read titled ‘Girl, Missing’ which you should check out if you can. Anyways, as I said, ENJOY!! :D
Trigger Warnings: Kidnap, missing child, fake adoption (if that’s one)
Word count: 2080
Tag List:  @winchesters-favorite-girl @winchester-writes @storyofawinchester @rosie-winchester @bea789 @straightasdeanwinchester (More room for anyone who wants to be added.)
Who Am I?
I stared at the cursor blinking on the screen as I thought of the answer to the very same question that’s haunted me since I first started gaining self-awareness. If this were a few years ago, I’d be able to answer this in no time at all. It was all so simple back then. My name’s Kendra Ryan Wood. I have brown hair, green eyes, and I am tall for my age. Like, no joke. That’s actually what I wrote in the first class of year 4. That was ages ago. But now they don’t care about any of that. They want to know who you are when you’re angry, or sad, or happy, or excited. They want to know who you are inside.
I was feeling quite burnt out at the moment to be honest. I needed a break. I decided to text my best friend, Morgan.
How are you doing with the stupid Who Am I thing – Kendra
We regret to inform you that Morgana ‘Morgan’ Caldwell died from boredom whilst attempting her homework last night – Morgan
I’ve got to hand it to her, Morgan never fails to crack me up when I’m at my lowest. We’ve been friends since primary school.
Who Am I?
I groaned and rested my head in my hand. For these stupid essays, you have to know where you come from. And I have no idea where I come from. I was adopted as a baby.
A minute later, mum was calling me from downstairs.
“Kendra, dinner’s ready.”
“Coming!”
I rushed downstairs, glad to get away from the stupid essay. And it really was a stupid essay. It was my last year of school. How did they not know who I was already?
I sat down at the table ready for dinner, kind of nervous about what I was going to ask. Mum came in, skinny and thin lipped as usual. I looked the complete opposite of her. She started ladling up the soup, and fair to say I wasn’t all too hungry. Not only was I nervous, but mum’s not exactly a tungsten chef and she knows it.
“How’s the homework going?” She asked, putting some soup in my dad’s bowl.
“Mmmn.” I mumbled.
“For gods’ sake, Kendra. Why can’t you speak properly?” She asked, setting her own meal on the table. I inhaled, gathering up the courage to ask her. Very clearly, and very slowly, I began to speak.
“Who’s my real mother?” I asked.
She froze for a second, seemingly terrified. Then she turned into stone. No movement. No emotion.
“I am, silly.” She said. “What do you mean?”
I looked away.
“Nothing. Forget I said anything.” I said, even though I knew she wouldn’t.
“I thought you didn’t care about knowing?”
“I don’t.”
“And anyway, I couldn’t tell you even if I wanted to. It was a closed adoption which means…”
“…which means neither side knows about the other. I know.” I said. My dad came in towards the end of the conversation. He looked somewhat worried.
“Is someone saying things at school?” He asked.
“No.”
Trust my parents to think someone else was putting ideas in my head. God forbid I should think for myself. Just then, my younger brother ran in. He is incredibly immature. Like, annoyingly so.
“Mum, what’s for dinner?” Jack asked. Jack’s thirteen and the spitting-image of my dad, and my mum calls him her little test-tube miracle. If we ever needed living proof we shouldn’t play god, he would be it. “Oh god. This soup stinks!”
“Not as much as you.”
He then hit me with his spoon.
“Mum, Jack’s hitting me again!”
Mum glared at us both, but I could tell she was favouring Jack even though she knows he was in the wrong. Could it be bias? That I’m not her real child? Or maybe it’s sexism. She always says boys are easier to look after than girls. So why get me, a girl, in the first place?
She used to say things that made me feel special. Like her and dad picked me out of every child in the world, which is a) completely false because some kids don’t need adopting, and b) kind of insulting to all the other kids. But now it makes me feel like I was a load of hassle and I wasn’t worth it. They should’ve picked someone else, honestly.
“This soup looks like Kendra threw up.” He said. I rolled my eyes. Sometimes I really, really hate him.
A while later I went back upstairs and got back to staring at my homework. Ugh.
Who Am I?
I typed adopted and lost in the search engine. I’d been thinking about this so much recently. Hell, if you saw me a week ago you’d probably crack up with laughter. I was so nervous, but what was I even expecting? A website by the name of kendrathisisalltheinformationaboutyouradoption.com? That would be even more ridiculous. Still, I hit search.
I flicked through page after page of hopeful stories. Rather boring and unrealistic to me in all honesty. I was ready to close the page until I found a site for missing children.
How does someone lose a child? I can understand losing them for five minutes or so, maybe even an hour then you find them hiding in the kitchen cupboard covered in flour. And also psychos kidnapping or murdering kids, but you only hear about that once or twice a year. Still, out of curiosity I clicked on the link.
I was astounded. There were so many faces. Did all of these belong to missing children? I didn’t even know what I was doing, just mucking about. But I decided to search my name. Kendra.
3 results.
One was a black 5-year-old that went missing two years ago.
Another was a white blonde toddler that went missing 5 months ago.
And then there was another one.
Chloe Kendra Padalecki
Case type: Lost, Missing
Date of birth: 31st August 1999
Age now: 18
Birth place: San Antonio, Texas, USA
Hair: Brown Eyes: Green
 The only picture was of a baby girl wrapped in a blanket in the hospital just after she was born. That’s it – because she was snatched at the hospital. Or at least that’s what everyone assumes. It was my birthday though. Exactly. And the same date I was adopted. But it was impossible. I’m British. This baby was born in America. That couldn’t be me, surely.
There was a knock at my door so I locked the computer.
“Yeah?” I asked, my heart still seemingly beating in my throat.
“It’s Morgan.” She said, coming in. I leaped off my bed, practically pulled her inside and closed my door.
“Okay, when I tell you what I’m about to tell you please don’t freak out. I mean, it’s probably nothing anyway, I just don’t want you to tell me to beam back to whatever bizarro planet I came from.” I told her.
“Oh my god! Please don’t tell me you’re pregnant!” She exclaimed.
“What? No. How would that even be possible?” I asked. She shrugged. “Look, you know how I’m adopted and everything?” I asked.
“How could I ever forget? That’s all you’ve been going on about for the past month.”
“Shut up! It’s not. Really, it’s not. It’s just. Well I was getting carried away with this stupid essay and I came across this stupid website with this stupid information about some stupid missing baby…” I began.
“Please stop saying stupid?”
“Right. Anyway, I found this;” I typed in my password and the website came up again, good as new.
She looked at the picture for a bit and studied the information.
“You don’t think that’s you, do you?” She asked.
“I don’t know.”
“Oh my god. You do, don’t you?”
“A little bit.” I confessed.
“Plus, have you ever watched Supernatural?” She asked. I rolled my eyes at her.
“Of course I have. It’s my favourite show in the whole world. You know that.” I said.
“Then you’d know Jared’s last name is…”
“Padalecki, I know. But that doesn’t mean it’s his. Could be his brother, a cousin, maybe even a completely unrelated family.”
“Yes, because Padalecki is a very common name in Texas.” She sarcastically said. “That being said, I mean… who else could it be? She does have your eyes. And remember when we were going through your family photo album a few months ago?”
“Oh god!” I groaned.
“Do you wanna call the number?” She asked.
“What, are you crazy? Of course not.” I answered, snatching the laptop back from her. She just shrugged.
“Just as well.” She said, flopping down on my bed.
“What do you mean?” I asked, getting really freaked out right now.
“Look, she’s kidnapped.”
“Yeah… and?”
“Well,” Morgan hesitated. “if that Chloe Kendra girl really is you, and I’m not saying she is – but if she is, how do you think all this happened?” She asked.
“Huh?” I asked, confused as always.
“I mean, how did baby you get from Texas to London straight away?”
I shook my head. This was all far too much. I could hardly stand it. Besides, trust Morgan to think of all the practical and logical questions. It didn’t ever cross my mind that there was a possibility I could be a completely different person.
“Think about it, Ken.” She smiled weakly. “Kids don’t just disappear without a reason. If this is you, you must’ve been taken deliberately.”
I shook my head again.
“What’s that got to do with my mum and dad?” I asked, dreading her answer.
“If you were taken, we have to consider the possibility that your parents were somehow involved.” She answered.
No. No. there’s no way. Not my mum and dad. And yet, what other explanation was there?
A week went past with the idea implanted in my brain. It’s not like I thought it was possible, but still. Once an idea is in your head, it gets stuck there. You can’t un-think it. It was another usual week besides that day, and I didn’t think anything could come of it to be honest.
It was later at night, which meant I was doing more homework on the sofa in the living room as my dad read the paper, sitting on his armchair. It was Jack’s bedtime, and as per usual, he came downstairs asking for a snack.
“Okay, fine. Here’s an apple my sweet, I can’t let you go to bed hungry. Now go.” She shushed him out the door. Trust my mum to give special treatment to Jack. Mum went back to the kitchen and dad looked like he was desperately trying to figure out how to say something. But what could it be?
“Listen, I know how you’ve been asking about your adoption recently – and I feel as though if you’re old enough to ask…” He began. But then mum came in, knowing what dad was talking about just by looking at him.
“Old enough to ask what?” She asked. My dad froze, shook his head, grumbled, and then went back to reading his paper as if nothing happened. Mum sighed and put her left hand on her hip. “Dave, we’ve talked about this.” She said with an angry tone.
“Oh, nice to know you guys have been talking about me behind my back.” I said sarcastically. Alright, it was somewhat childish, but I’m kind of fed up of being the only person unaware of my past.
“It’s not like that, Kendra.” Mum sighed.
“Yes, it is. I’m so sick of not even being part of the family I’ve always supposed to have been part of.” I yelled before storming upstairs.
I slammed my door from the outside – a little trick I learned when I was younger – so I could eavesdrop on what they were going to argue about.
“Why did you bring that up?” Mum screamed.
“She’s 18 for Christ sake. If not now, when should we tell her? We said at 16, then 18, but you decided against it.” Dad argued. He then mumbled something completely incoherent.
“I know. Just not now okay? Maybe next birthday.” Mum suggested.
How could they tell me something about my closed adoption? Clearly it’s not as closed as they’re letting on. So what is it they’re not telling me? Could I really be Chloe Kendra Padalecki?
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citruscisco · 5 years
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Proposal
     So a little back story on this, I’m taking an Honors English class and we have 5 essays due this up coming Monday. I just finished my last one, and it’s a narrative. The prompt was that I was supposed to create a scene with a creative proposal or something. Little does she know it’s secretly fanfiction about Ben Hardy, but I just changed his last name. Also  speaking of the female character in the story (I know I didn’t speak of her before), I kinda pictured her as having Charlie Bradbury’s personality, but a bit more confident and flirtatious. Anyways, enjoy! Also I’m sorry if this is bad, I wrote this from 10 AM to 4 PM, I think!
     “Here, let me help you,” a deep voice chimed in from the doorway of the bedroom. The freckled, hazel-eyed girl spun around at the sound of his voice and smiled shyly. She fiddled with the golden locket in between her pale, slim fingers that held a picture of them both. The blond had been watching in amusement as she struggled to put on the necklace – which he had given to her – and finally decided to speak up. The girl nodded slightly and turned back to face the mirror, holding the necklace in one hand and using the other to hold her flaming locks of auburn hair. The blonde walked up behind her and grasped onto the locket from her much smaller hands, gently grasped it from her fingers and began clasping it on.
     It had only been 6 years since Ben Johansson had met Serenity Geist, one of those years had been spent as staying friends, while the rest had been spent in a loving relationship. Ben had the opportunity to move to the states from his hometown in London at the ripe age of 22, both for a better education and more job opportunities. He had been working at a Barns and Nobles that was a block away from his university the day he had met her, and Serenity just so happened to be a visitor at the books shop. The two of them can remember that day oh-so clearly.
     November 19th, 2014. Ben has been sitting at the front seat that chilly morning. He wore his usual white T-shirt with a red and black checkered flannel. His feet were propped up on chair across from him as he watched a movie on his phone. Ben want much of a reader himself, which is quite ironic considering where he works. He held his head up in his left hand, which was propped up on the table. It had been a quiet morning, thankfully. Ben wasn’t much of a morning person anyways. There were no customers in sight. Just people walking by the front door with their cups of coffee in their hand and a cell phone in the other.  
     His head perked up at the sound of the bell at the front door ringing, meaning a customer is here. At the gust of cold air let in, he suddenly wished he wore better pants than a simple pair of khaki jeans. Ben’s green eyes scanned over the room, looking for the customer. His heart nearly beat straight out of his chest at the girl before him. There in the fiction section of the library stood a girl with wavy auburn hair and pale skin. She wore a simple pair of black leggings and a cream-colored sweater that practically swallowed her small frame. She too wore a pair of Converse that matched his own. Her wide eyes scanned over books of all sizes and colors with a look of curiosity and awe in her eyes. He didn’t know why he was feeling this way, but the sight of her was enough to turn him back into the nervous, scrawny teenage boy he once was. His palm started to sweat, and his heart was beating just a tad bit faster than before.
     He switched off his phone and began to walk over when noticed how she was struggling to reach a book on the very top shelf. He chuckled to himself as he watched in amusement as she jumped up and down while trying to snatch the book off the top shelf. He walked up beside her and reached up for the book, now noticing how his tall, fit frame practically towered over her. ”Here, let me help you,” he spoke softly, not wanting to startle her. She stopped her attempts at reaching the book and smiled wide as he handed her the book. She looked up at him and he could now see that her eyes were hazel, and her face had millions of freckles scattered across her nose and cheeks. She looked around his age, possibly a bit younger, but still over 18.
     Serenity Geist was only a year younger when she met Ben. She had just moved into the area a week ago and was still trying to figure out her way around town. On her way to a coffee shop she was suggested to visit by her neighbor, she stumbled upon the famous book shop, Barns and Nobles. Serenity figured it wouldn’t hurt to delay her trip to the café, for maybe she would find a book she liked and could read it as she sipped her coffee. She was quite the book worm after all, as well as a coffee addict. She gently pushed open the door to the book store and her eyes widened at the millions of books that laid right before her very eyes. There were hundreds of shelves filled to the brim with thousands of books of all colors and sizes.  
     Serenity stepped into the shop and it seemed as if her legs moved on their own, taking her straight to the fiction section, for it was her favorite genre to read. She slowly walked along the beginning of the shelf and glanced at each book there, yet she stopped when a certain book caught her eye. It was a thick, green book on the very top shelf that read Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince. Serenity needed to have that book. It was the only book she didn’t have in her Harry Potter collection. Being the stubborn and ambitious person she is, she didn’t bother asking around for help and began to jump up and down all the while trying to snatch the book off of the top shelf. Curse her parents for giving her the short genes.
     Just when Serenity was about to give up and go look around for a stool of some sort, she saw a hand reach up and grasp the book for her. ‘Oh god, I probably looked like an idiot,’ she thought to herself, feeling embarrassment creep up her spine and a blush form its way onto her pale cheeks.
     “Here, let me help you,” a deep, British voice spoke. A voice low as a bassoon, yet sweeter than honey. It was the kind of voice that you would hear on the radio. Serenity looked up and it felt as if her embarrassment worsened. ‘Oh no he’s British and attractive,’ she thought awkwardly. She was never good with talking to people she found attractive. Scratch that, she’s not great with talking to people in general. Maybe it’s from her anxiety, her awkwardness, or she didn’t want to express how much of a geek she truly was. She didn’t want to bore or annoy anyone with her constant rambles of how the books and movies of the Harry Potter series were different, or how she thought Star Wars was better than Star Trek.  
     She grasped the book from him and smiled shyly up at him and tucked a strand of her auburn hair behind her ear. “Thanks, uh sorry you had to see that,” she spoke awkwardly, still trying to appear confident. Yeah, that didn’t work. “Unfortunately for me, I got the short genes of the family.” The blond laughed at her comment and shoved his hands into the pockets of his khaki jeans.  
     “Well, I can’t and never quite have understood what it’s like to be short, but I can someone relate to your pain. I’m too tall to sit in the back seat of some cars. My legs are too long, and in the end my legs are scrunched up against my chest. You know what I mean?” he asked while scratching the back of his neck, hoping that he chose the right words to say and didn’t seem like an idiot. He was relieved when he heard her angelic laughter, which sent his heart soaring. Not only was she cute physically, but she had an amazing personality – from what he could tell – and an amazing laugh.
     “Yeah, I know what you mean...” She paused, furrowing her eyebrows when she realized she didn’t even know his name. She scanned his upper body, hoping that she would find a name tag of some sort. Serenity’s eyes seemed to roam a tad bit longer, gazing at his nicely built chest. She quickly through those thoughts out the window when she heard him speak. Ben seemed to notice how she paused and the way her eyes scanned his shirt.  
     “Oh! How rude of me! I’m Benjamin, but just call me Ben,” he spoke with a grin and stuck out his hand for her to shake. Serenity grinned up at him and grasped his larger hand with her smaller one.
     “Greetings and salutations, call me Serenity.” She sent him a playful wink – which was totally something she wouldn’t do considering the fact she’s horrible at flirting. His eyebrows furrowed and the corner of his plump lips turned up into a smirk.
     “Was that a Heathers reference?”  
     “You ‘betcha it was!” At that moment when their hands touched, both of their hearts soared high in the sky, and a beautiful friendship had been born. Serenity ended up staying at the book shop until Ben’s shift was over, reading her new book to pass the time. The two then went down to the café Serenity was originally heading to, and the rest was history.
     Ben gently wrapped his strong arms around Serenity’s waist, smiling at the memory of how they first met. She noticed this in the mirror and placed one hand on the locket and the other on top of his arm lovingly. She raised an eye at him through the mirror, “Whatcha thinking about?” she asked while resting her head against his chest. This only made Ben’s smile grow into a grin. He placed a gentle kiss to her temple and tightened his arms around her waist.
     “Just thinking about how beautiful you look.” Of course, that’s not what he was thinking about, but it was no lie that she looked stunning in the dress she wore. She wore a dark red dress that matched her dark red flats. The dress itself was a vintage style dress as well as an A-frame dress, meaning it went out at her hips and gave her an elegant look. The top of the dress was lace around the sleeves as well as around the neck line. The neck line was also off the shoulders, showing off her collarbones and shoulders nicely. The golden locket gave a nice touch to the outfit overall. Ben always loved the outfits she chose. They were always different depending on her mood. Some days she wore sweatpants and a hoodie that was tied together with a messy bun in her hair, for those outfits were for days she felt like she wanted to be lazy. However, times like these called for a beautiful dress and shoes. Times like these are special times, times when she wants to dress up. She wants to feel beautiful, then again, no one wants to feel ugly.
     Ben wore a simple black button up shirt, black dress pants, fancy, black dress shoes, and a light brown jacket. The jacket itself was made of leather and had a viscose lining, a snap tab collar, and a zipper style closure. It also had open hem cuffs and two waist pockets and inside pockets. It was something so simple, yet so attractive on him. Over the years of knowing each other, Serenity had helped him expand his sense of style. When she first met him, she was horrified to find that his drawers were only filled with khakis and flannels.
     “We should probably get going, don’t wanna be late for our reservations. Plus, I'm starving!” Serenity spoke, breaking his train of thought in the process. Ben pulled his arm away and grabbed his keys and wallet, yet Serenity was quick to snatch the keys from him. She insisted on driving, which causes Ben to pout because he desperately wanted to drive the new car he bought. It was brand new and shiny and he wanted to drive around showing off his prized possessions. His car and the love of his life.  
     “Darling you can barely even reach the pedals!” he called out to her as she was already making her way down the stairs.  
     She stopped at the door and turned around to face him, “Of course I am! Besides, if I’m not I can always just grow another leg or two, plop that onto my current leg and boom! I’ll be able to reach the pedal!” His eyebrows furrowed at her words. This isn’t the first time she’s said something this weird. Was she already tipsy?
     “Darling that doesn’t make any sense.”
     “I am under no obligation to make sense to you!” With that, she walked right out to the door and to his car. She still didn’t get to drive.
     It was their 5-year anniversary today, and Ben – like every year – is planning something special. Serenity constantly tells him that just being with him is the best present she could ever ask for, yet he insists on spoiling her. The restaurant this year had been the first restaurant he had taken her to their first date. Nothing too fancy, but nothing too casual. The two sat down across from one another, and a bottle of her favorite wine was brought out without needing to be asked. Serenity raised ab eyebrow at him from across the table.
     “You have something planned, don’t you?” Her tone was playful yet serious. She has always been observant from the day she was born. Surprisingly, Ben was quite calm and let out a small chuckled and smirked while sipping the glass of wine.
     “Only time will tell, my dear.” His words sent a wave of excitement down her spine and caused her heart to beat a bit faster. She said nothing and sipped her wine as well, wondering what he might have planned. Was he planning on taking her somewhere for vacation? She frequently mentioned how she always wanted to explore New Zealand. She’s already visited London to visit his family, so that’s crossed off the list.
     Ben set down his glass and reached down under the table and pulled up a small white box that looked around the size of a picture frame. It had a small red bow resting on top of it as well as a tag with her name on it. Ben sat the box in front of her, but Serenity didn’t touch it. Ben could tell she was eager to rip the box in two and see what laid inside of it. He chuckled and nodded, silently saying she could open it. “Go ahead,” he spoke, feeling himself grow anxious as well.
     Serenity grinned wide and grabbed the box but stopped. Her grin faltered into a pout. “You didn’t have to get me anything, and I didn’t even get you anything,” she pouted, suddenly feeling upset. He laughed and shook his head at her words, reaching across the table and gently grasped her soft hand with his rougher one.  
     “You didn’t need to get me anything. Your love and happiness are the best gifts I could ever ask for. Now open the box, I’m getting impatient!” She rolled her eyes at the last comment he made and did as she was told. The grin was back on her face and was even wider than before – if that was even possible. In the box sat a book. It was a book she never heard of before, but they both knew how much she loved books.  
     “Aw, Ben, you didn’t have to!” She exclaimed, feeling her heart flutter as she pulled the sticky note that sat on the book, which read, “HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!”  
     “You’re right, I didn’t have to, but I wanted to. Read it.” She looked up at him then down out the book, but was puzzled to find that the first page, the second, and what seemed to be 100 pages were glued together. It was as if it was a box. She opened the book and her breath hitched as she saw what was inside.  Inside of the book was a highlighted paragraph, a small box carved out of the pages that held a diamond ring with a silver band, and in big, red, bold letters above the box were the words, “MARRY ME?” The paragraph read, “I’m in love with you...I am... I’m in love with you, and I’m not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I’m in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we’re all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we’ll ever have, and I am in love with you.” Tears were now streaming down her face. This was paragraph was from her favorite book, The Fault in Our Stars. Ben’s hand reached out and gently grasped the ring from the book.
     “Ignoring everyone in the room is my favorite part of this tradition,” Ben laughed out as he held the rink in one hand while the other one was held out to her. “Take my hand.”
     “Why?” She asked, laughing through the tears of happiness in her eyes.
     “I’m trying to ask you to marry me, to take my dang hand!” He demanded while laughing as well. Their laughter blended together, creating a sweet harmony that made the people around them smile at the couple. “Serenity, when we were friends, I was just kind of hoping that you’d, y’know...fall in love with me.” Tears now started to brim his own eyes. “You don’t know how hard I tried not to fall in love with you, I really did...but I did anyways. It scares me. I think – no – I know I’m in love with you, and that...and that scares me. It scares me to death.” a tear fell down from the corner of his eye as his bottom lip trembled. ‘God I’m being such a crybaby today,’ the thought to himself. “I’m scared to death because I have this irrational fear that someday you’re going to leave me. Whether it be before me due to an illness, or you leave me for another man. I just hope you know that I’ll be with you until the end. I'll be by your side through the 9 months of pregnancy, childbirth, sickness and health, and whatever life throws our way. So...will you marry me?” His voice was shaking with the last three words and his heart bounded as he waited for her response.
     Serenity’s hands were covering her mouth, but they couldn’t hide her sobs throughout Ben’s whole speech. As soon as his speech was over, she screamed an incoherent yes, practically tackled him and slamming her lips against his. The people who had been watching the scene began clapping and cheering for them. What a beautiful scene it was indeed. Ben held her tight as he stood up, practically holding her up off the ground with their lips still attached to one another. He set her down and slipped the ring onto her ring finger on her left hand. Ben reached up and wiped the remaining tears away from her face with his thumb. Serenity grinned at the gesture and reached up to his face and did the same, making him smile softly. “You scream like a girl by the way,” Ben laughed out, wrapping his arms around her waist. Serenity rolled her eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck, standing on her tip-toes to do so.  
     “Okay, first I am a girl for your information, and second I do not scream like a girl,’ she defended.
     “Well you sure did a high-pitched scream.”
     “I did not scream!”
     “Oh yeah, so what did you do?”
     “That was merely me trying not to have a heart attack with a little dignity.” He rolled his eyes at her comment and decided to drop it.
     “So...what’s our plan for tonight?” He asked while they both sat back down. He smiled politely as a thanks while people would walk by and congratulate them on the engagement.
     “We do not have a plan –”
     “Well let’s make one!”
     “– I have my own plans that don’t include you.”
     “Oh yeah, what’s that?” He chuckled out in amusement.  
     “Well, my plan includes me going home, running a bath filled with bubbles and soaking in it as I drink some champagne, and I plan to do this by myself. Alone.” She leaned back in her chair while sipping her wine, glancing over at him with a hint of playfulness in her eyes. He placed his hand on his heart and his mouth dropped open a bit, acting as if he was offended.  
     “I thought we were a team!”
     “We are, which is why I need a break.” He raised his eyebrows at her words.
     “You need a break from me?”
     “Yes...so I’ll still like you in the morning.” Ben held back a laugh while Serenity bit back a smile. They both had progressively leaned forward, so far that their faces were inches from one another.
     “Wow, I’m that bad, huh?” He reached out to cup her chin, resting his thumb on her bottom lip and gently running it over the soft skin. He flickered his gaze from her eyes, down to her lips, then back up to her eyes. Serenity smirks and reaches up to cup his cheek, running her thumb over it.
     “Yep.” With that she presses her lips against his. It felt as if fireworks went off every time they kissed, and it never gets old. You can picture what happens next, but all I can tell you that both Ben Johannsson and Serenity Geist – now Serenity Johannsson – lived happily ever after. I can’t say that there is such a thing as true love, for I don’t believe in it. However, one thing I do believe is that Serenity and Ben were meant to be together
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