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aidanchaser · 10 months

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31 of October, 2020

I wrote this 2.5 years ago, in the throws of Covid protection measures. Finally publishing it now.

Sirius wasn’t usually awake this early, much less out and about, but he still hadn’t found the perfect gift.

Beatrice was impossible to shop for. Teddy might be the one who could change his face and hair day to day, but Bea could change her likes and dislikes just as quickly. Del was the sensible one of the bunch who made neat, organised lists of wants and needs when it came to her birthday wishlist, but Sirius wasn’t shopping for Del today.

He stopped in front of the window of Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes and remembered how two weeks ago Bea had rolled her eyes when Sirius had brought home one of his and George’s test products — a canary whistle that blew fireworks in the user’s face — but two days later, at dinner, she had handed him a trick wand and laughed uncontrollably when it had squawked and turned into a rubber chicken.

Maybe the canary whistle just wasn’t as clever an idea as he had thought.

Sirius glanced up the road in Hogsmeade towards Scrivenshaft’s. Even though it was probably the busiest shop in Hogsmeade these days, he could get Bea something practical, like parchment and pens for letter writing.

But a practical gift wasn’t right for him nor for Bea. Neither of them were practical people. Sirius went to rub his eyes but remembered the Bubble Charm encasing his head and instead wrinkled his nose in an attempt to clear his head and his irritation without touching his face.

The Bubble Charm had quickly become fashionable in Wizarding circles. As the Muggles donned masks to keep them safe from the global pandemic, wizards had made their own adjustments. Pigeons and hawks were drafted into letter and parcel-carrying, photographs that included bits of sound were in high demand as people sent pictures to loved ones, and the gates of Hogwarts remained closed.

Though not for students. Students could still attend Hogwarts, but there were strict rules about leaving. No students nor professors were allowed out during the first term, not if their education was to continue safely. Sirius understood why, but it frustrated him. It had made things very difficult for his family in particular, because that meant Remus was not allowed to leave school.

It meant that Remus was spending the full moon without him. Sirius didn’t like that at all.

“I read that dogs can’t carry the disease,” James had said the other day. “Do you think there’s any science about whether deer can carry it?”

But, regardless, no Irish wolfhound would be on Hogwarts grounds this evening. Sirius was spending the full moon with Bea.

He headed up the street to Gladrags instead. A jumper was a practical gift, now that the weather was cooling down, but a jumper also didn’t have to be practical. Ginny and Harry had shown up to Christmas dinner last year with a pair of atrocious Muggle jumpers. Bea had thought they were fun. Perhaps he could find something like that.

His hunt, however, proved fruitless. He ended up, as a last resort, purchasing a plain black jumper that he might be able to Charm into something Bea would like.

Sirius pulled his coat tighter against the sudden windchill and trudged up High Street and down into the village. He never in a hundred years would have imagined himself living in a house in Hogsmeade with a family of six, surrounded by magical folk and a short walk from Hogwarts, but when your husband was a Hogwarts professor, you made do.

Besides, James and Lily hadn’t been using the cottage for anything.

The house was still quiet when Sirius pushed the door open. He dismissed his Bubble Head Charm the moment he walked through the door and hid the jumper under his bed.

He listened at the stairs, but he didn’t hear Bea nor Teddy stirring. Neither of them were early birds, which was alright by Sirius.

As quietly as he could, Sirius made himself a cup of coffee and toast, and sat down in the kitchen with parchment and graphite, trying to think of a design for Bea’s jumper. He sketched a few silly pumpkin ideas, but discarded them. She liked stars, at least. It would not be difficult to Charm a few twinkling stars onto a black field.

The fireplace in the kitchen lit up green and Dora stumbled out. She brushed soot from the sleeves of her robes and immediately took off her Auror cloak and placed it on the counter.

After a yawn, she said, “Morning, Sirius.”

“Not a good one, then?”

She rubbed her eyes. “It isn’t bad, exactly. Are the kids up?”

“Haven’t heard a peep from them. I was just beginning to think I ought to run up and make sure they’re alive.”

She poured herself a cup of coffee and sank into the chair beside Sirius. “Don’t wake them just yet. I could use a bit of quiet.”

“It’ll be a long night. Why don’t you go to bed?”

“I don’t work tomorrow. I’d rather not sleep the day away.”

Sirius sighed. “But you won’t sleep tonight.”

“I’ll try to sleep tonight.”

“He’ll be sure to write today. You know he’s upset about missing her birthday.”

“It’s his letter the day after that I’m always anxious about.”

Sirius could understand that. Even though he would already be up all night with Bea, he thought that were the circumstances reversed, and it was Tonks who could turn into an Irish wolfhound, then he still would still not sleep very well, instead up worry that Bea and Remus would each pass the night safely.

Sirius picked absently at his toast, wondering how Remus was doing this morning. He hoped Remus was sleeping in; it was a Saturday after all, and he would not need to teach. That was probably why his letter was late.

Dora’s eyes on the window suggested that she was wondering about his letter, too.

Their quiet, peaceful morning, though underlined with worry, was suddenly shattered by the sound of a door upstairs slamming closed.

As the walls of the house shuddered from the door slam, Teddy’s yell echoed downstairs. “Fucking fay, Bea! You almost took off my nose!”

The reply was muffled, but no less passionate. “Then grow a bloody new one!”

“Just once,” Sirius sighed, “it would be nice if they didn’t start their day at the same time.”

“In my last letter to Remus,” Tonks said with a touch of quiet desperation, “I asked what he thought about magically extending the upstairs to make room for a second bathroom. Maybe he’ll have a solution.”

Though getting Teddy and Bea separate bathrooms might add a few more moments of peace to their mornings, Sirius did not think it would solve the problem entirely. In fact, the shared space hadn’t really been a problem, not even for the first few months of the global pandemic. Del, Bea, and Teddy had always gotten along better than Sirius had expected siblings to get along — granted his experience was extreme — but ever since September had arrived, Bea and Teddy had been at each other’s throats with a new force. If it continued, Sirius thought he might be breaking up duels by Christmas.

Dora finished her coffee as quickly as she could. “I’m going to power nap until this kicks in, and then we can bake before Harry arrives.”

“Bea said she didn’t want a cake this year.”

“Bea is sulking, and I’m not letting her be a martyr on her birthday just because her favourite parent can’t be here.”

“Hey, I’m her favourite.”

“You were her favourite.”

Sirius sighed and took his and Dora’s mugs to the sink while Dora disappeared to her room. She was right, of course. No one was Bea’s favourite anymore, not since Remus had started his term at Hogwarts.

Teddy appeared at Sirius’ elbow, reaching for a coffee mug, and Sirius had to look twice to be sure that it was Teddy.

Usually, Teddy adjusted his nose and cheekbones ever so slightly to make them just a little more defined, a little bit more like Tonks’ natural face. A little bit more like Sirius’. Sirius found it all a bit vain, but he supposed if he had the ability to change his face in subtle ways, he would use it in whatever way he liked.

This morning, however, Teddy didn’t appear to have made any changes. He had Remus’ eyes, which was a less common choice lately, and his hair was as sandy as Remus’ had been before it had started to grey. His face shape, too, was a lot like Dora’s — the one she chose, anyway. Teddy had always, as long as he wasn’t changing anything, looked like his grandfather, the way his mother worked so hard to look.

“Give up on waiting for the mirror?” Sirius asked.

“What? No.” Teddy touched his nose self-consciously, then frowned. “I dunno. Thought I’d try some solidarity this morning. See how she feels about it.”

Sirius grabbed a hand towel and dried off the dishes while Teddy poured himself the last of the coffee.

“I think it’s a nice gesture. I also think she’ll see it as pity.”

“Then that’s her problem.”

Merlin help him, who had decided that the stubbornest people Sirius had ever met needed to have a son who was twice as stubborn?

Teddy sat down at the table and looked over Sirius’ scribbles. Sirius looked at the empty coffee pot and tried to decide which battles he wanted to start the day with.

“Teddy,” he said as casually as he could manage, “do you think you ought to at least get another brew started for your sister?”

It went more easily than he had expected. Teddy simply lifted his wand and, with an intense concentration on his silent spell casting, prepared another pot of coffee.

“Well done,” Sirius said appreciatively.

Teddy smiled, cheeks pink as if to prove he really was working on letting his face remain in its natural way, then turned back to the scribbles. “Did you draw these?”

“Bought your sister a jumper. Thought I’d spice it up.”

“She doesn’t wear jumpers.”

“No, but your dad does.”

Teddy hummed thoughtfully and pulled one of the parchment scraps closer. “You know that watch Uncle James has?”

And it clicked suddenly for Sirius. He knew exactly what to do for Bea’s gift.

“Brilliant,” Sirius said.

He used his wand to bring the papers to him at the counter, made notes to himself about the charm, and Vanished the sketches just as Bea came into the kitchen.

She was still in her pyjamas, and had her long, dark hair pulled up in a messy bun. Her hair, oddly enough, had always reminded Sirius a bit of James and Harry. It was thick and wild, and she had heavyset eyebrows to match.

“Good morning, birthday girl,” Sirius said with a grin.

She smiled at him, which was a good sign. “Thanks.” But then she turned on Teddy. “Did you take my leather jacket?”

Teddy took a slow sip of his coffee. “Why would I take your jacket?”

“It’s missing. Who else —”

“Did you check the wash?” Sirius asked.

"It doesn't get washed!"

"Did you leave it on the sofa and it got swept up in cleaning?"

Bea hurried out of the kitchen.

“When’s Harry getting here?” Teddy asked. “Bea pretends to be nice when he’s around.”

“Bea is nice. She’s just having a hard time of it lately.”

“The world’s on fire. We’re all having a hard time.”

Sirius had no intention of arguing with Teddy on that front. He was lucky to have a steady job with Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes, who had a consistent mail order business that just so happened to thrive in crises. There was nothing people wanted more than a good laugh when things were on their way to hell.

Teddy, however, had lost his job back in March and hadn’t had much luck finding something suitable since. That alone was part of the problem between him and Bea. Neither of them had anywhere to get away from each other; Del was the lucky one with an essential job and a flat in London. Not that anyone was calling the Healers in St Mungo’s “lucky” these days.

“Do you know why Bea was so upset when we asked her about the cake last night?” Sirius asked.

Teddy shrugged. “Because she’s sulking? Because she wants everyone to feel sorry for her so she’s making a bad birthday situation worse intentionally?”

Sirius was an expert at making things worse intentionally, and he had thought that Teddy, who was so much like his mother, might have understood Bea’s frustration. The Black cheekbones may have skipped Teddy, but the flair for the dramatic had not.

“If you can’t make it better,” Sirius said, “then why not make it worse?”

“That’s stupid. I don’t like bananas, but I’m not going to add wolfsbane every time I have to eat them.”

Sirius drummed his fingers against the counter top, trying to think of how to explain what was plainly an insensible reaction in a way Teddy could make sense of it.

“What if you only had bananas? What if you weren’t allowed to eat anything else? Maybe you wouldn’t try wolfsbane, but might you try something else? Anything else? Just to make it different.”

“I don’t know. I guess.”

“Refusing cake is just one way she’s trying to control a day that’s, well, largely outside her control.”

Teddy rubbed his chin thoughtfully, and Sirius could not help but remember how Remus had looked at that age. The world had been on fire then, too, and Sirius had pushed Remus away. He had, like Bea, propelled himself into terrible situations just to feel like he had a measure of control over his own life. Self-destruction seemed to be a thing Blacks and Lupins had in common, so perhaps it was no wonder Bea, despite her unique family origins, was the way she was.

“I wish Tad were here,” Teddy finally said, surprising Sirius by using the children’s old, childish nickname for Remus.

When Del and Teddy had first started speaking, it had been difficult for them to say Sirius’ name correctly or to say it much at all. Sirius, who had never cared much for his name, didn’t mind, but they had wanted something to help the children differentiate between him and Remus. It was Remus who had suggested they use Welsh for him and English for Sirius. It was how Remus had spoken to his parents and grandparents, so it had made sense.

What didn’t make sense to Sirius was why the nicknames had stuck for so long. He really wouldn’t have minded if the children called him Sirius like Harry and his children did.

“He’ll be here for Christmas,” Sirius said in his best attempt at a cheerful voice. He missed Remus so terribly it hurt, especially knowing that Remus was only a short walk away, but he did his best to stay cheerful for Teddy and Bea. “That’s not too far now.”

“Del probably won’t be.”

Sirius shrugged. “Who knows what the world will look like by Christmas? Maybe she’ll be able to get a few days away from St Mungo’s.”

Teddy sighed, and rubbed his hands over his face. “One more until then. Just one more moon after today.”

“That’s the spirit. Now, go see what your sister wants for breakfast.”

✶✶✶

After the family had finished breakfast and the owls had delivered post — including a letter and parcel from Remus, assuring them that he was well and wishing Bea a happy birthday, and a letter and parcel from Del apologising that she could not be there to celebrate, but they were strict about St Mungo’s Healers quarantining for their patients’ safety — Sirius suggested that they bake a cake that they had never tried before. He added that Remus might like it if they sent along a care package to Hogwarts.

When presented with this option, Bea agreed. She flipped through the Muggle recipe book Sirius had purchased years ago, the book that had started this silly birthday tradition, before settling on a banana cake.

Teddy scowled, but did not protest. He agreed to run out and purchase the necessary ingredients, though he did, just before leaving, slip into the bathroom to turn his hair blue and define his cheekbones.

“Expecting to see Victoire on your way there?” Dora teased.

Teddy’s face burned, and he mumbled something about making the most of going out since he didn’t get to anymore. Sirius only half-believed him.

Dora and Bea worked together to set up the baking station, careful to leave enough space for Harry to brew once he had arrived, while Sirius slipped upstairs and put the finishing touches on Bea’s gift. Teddy’s return was timely, suggesting that he had not made the quick Apparition trip to Bill and Fleur’s to see his girlfriend.

Baking in the Muggle fashion had been a fun challenge the first few years, but now it was the birthday standard. Teddy and Bea left their wands on the table without complaint — seventeenth birthdays had been a particular challenge on this front — and cracked eggs by hand and mixed the batter with spoons. It was in the middle of mixing that Teddy looked longingly at his wand and rubbed his shoulder, but he did not complain, and finished the rigorous stirring required to mix the batter.

For Dora’s thirtieth birthday, Sirius had presented her with an electric mixer to help with the birthday tradition, but by Sirius’ birthday that autumn it had turned feral and they’d had to get rid of it when it nearly took Remus’ fingers off. So hand mixing it was.

Just as Dora was pulling the cake out of the oven, the fireplace lit up with bright green flames and Harry stepped through.

He dusted soot from his traditionally untidy hair and grinned at the Lupins. “Happy birthday!” He said, and presented Bea with a ribbon tied around a small box.

“Thanks, Harry,” Bea said. “Er — how’s Violet?”

“She keeps herself busy at Mum and Dad’s. Last time we talked she kept banging on about starting a mail-order potions business, but I think she’s just unsure what to do with herself without Quidditch. She and Ginny might start a league on their own if things don’t change soon.” Harry sniffed the kitchen curiously. “What cake are we having?”

“Banana,” Teddy grunted.

“Ginny’s taking the cancelled Quidditch season hard, then?” Sirius asked.

“Bored out of her mind, especially with all the kids at Hogwarts. But I think the quiet is a pleasant change.”

Sirius considered asking if Harry could take one of his grown children off of his hands — Teddy was Harry’s godson, after all — but he did not think anyone but him would appreciate the joke.

Harry set his bag down on the counter and pulled out a jar of Wolfsbane. “So, Bea, will you be helping today, or frosting cake?”

Bea shook her head. “I want to be ready when the Ministry takes permit applications again.”

“Alright, then you know what ingredients to get out.”

Except there wasn’t much to “get out.” The Wolfsbane Potion ingredients were all in an easily accessible box under the sink since they had been using them every day this week. It was the first day of the week leading up to the full moon that was full of panic, searching every cupboard to make sure that all the ingredients were present.

Traditionally, it was Lily who had brewed the Wolfsbane Potion for Remus for years, and when Bea had turned seven, Lily had begun to brew enough for her, too. Bea had taken a shine to Potions in a way that Remus had not, though, and for the last few years she had worked on brewing the Potion with Lily’s help, with the goal of one day being able to brew it on her own.

This year, however, since Lily was teaching at Hogwarts, they had needed to find a replacement potion-brewer. Sirius knew that Harry had been nervous when Lily had suggested he take over while she taught, but Harry had never let Bea see that nervousness. He had studied under Lily for weeks straight — Sirius had no desire to count how much gold had gone into those trial potions, but he guessed Remus would know the number instantly — and now Harry was a patient teacher with Bea as she struggled to learn the potion herself, to be independent in a way Remus was not able to.

Bea and Harry set to work on the Wolfsbane Potion while Sirius and Dora started mixing frosting colours for cake decorating. Teddy confirmed that Bea did not care how he decorated the cake and set about on his favourite part of the birthday tradition — changing his hair colour to the frosting colours he wanted Dora and Sirius to mix, like matching paint to a swatch.

Teddy chose several dark colours, so Sirius expected something along the lines of a night sky, and Teddy exceeded his expectations. With the palette of frosting, he recreated a silhouette of the Shrieking Shack beneath the full moon, which Bea would either find incredibly funny or she would smash Teddy’s face into the cake. Sirius hoped Teddy was at least prepared for the latter. Maybe ruining the banana cake before it could be eaten was exactly what Teddy wanted.

“Hold it steady,” Harry said to Bea.

Bea stuck her tongue out over her lip as she carefully lifted the small, copper cauldron of Essence of Wolfsbane off of the fire and poured its contents into the larger, bubbling cauldron.

“Don’t pour too fast. It’ll splash —”

But Harry’s warning came too late. The cauldron slipped from Bea’s grip and crashed into the counter. Concentrated wolfsbane spilled onto the floor and splashed across the tile. The fire under the cauldron sizzled as the reduction splattered into it.

By the time Sirius had grabbed his wand, Harry had Vanished the mess and righted the two cauldrons.

“Anyone get any on them?” Sirius asked.

Teddy and Dora had jumped out of the way in time, and Harry checked his hands and arms for burns. Bea’s lower lip trembled and she tried to hide it by biting down.

“Where are you hurt, Bea?” Sirius asked.

“I’m fine —” but her voice cracked. She left the kitchen quickly.

A burn splash from a boiling potion could be easily healed, but a splash of boiling Essence of Wolfsbane on the skin could have toxic effects. Most likely, Bea was unhurt, and just needed time to gather herself, but Sirius would feel a lot better if he could monitor her heart rate and breathing, just to be safe.

“I’ll talk to her,” Sirius said, as Teddy grabbed his own wand and Vanished the frosting off the cake. That was likely the wisest decision Teddy had made all day.

Sirius headed upstairs to Bea’s closed bedroom door. He wished, certainly not for the first nor last time that day, that Remus were here. Then he knocked.

“I said I’m fine,” Bea snapped.

Sirius rubbed his eyes. “Bea, can I at least check your pulse? It’ll give me peace of mind.”

He was pretty sure there was a muffled, “Fine.” Sirius wasn’t sure if she was agreeing or simply repeating that she didn’t need his help, but he took a risk and opened the door.

Bea’s bedroom was, like Sirius’ had been as a child, plastered with posters of both the Wizarding and Muggle variety. Her Slytherin banners were still visible in some places, but they had largely been covered over by musicians and charcoal artwork. It was as if Del had somehow laid a claim to realistic pencil sketches, and Teddy had taken command of all colour, so Bea had governed her own world of black and white art. Even though Bea had not joined their family until later, she had not been immune to the sibling rivalry that Del and Teddy had enjoyed. Rather, it had spread into her quickly and easily, and Sirius understood that tension perhaps better than Bea would ever know.

Maybe Remus wasn’t the only one who could get through to her.

Sirius sat down on her bed and carefully pried her pillow out of her arms. She didn’t fight him, but she did not make things easy for him as he pressed his wand to her chest. The blue glow pulsed in a steady rhythm, and Sirius felt a knot in his chest come undone. It would not have been the first time that Bea had accidentally been poisoned with wolfsbane, but Sirius had not been looking forward to having to monitor her heart until sunset, and she would not have wanted him to monitor her through her transformation.

“I told you I didn’t get any on me,” Bea grumbled, and wiped her cheeks.

Sirius did not pull his wand away. “You know how I worry. Breathing feel alright?”

Bea sniffed. “Fine.”

This close to the full moon, she was always paler than usual, but she looked almost sickly as the blue light washed over her face. It reminded Sirius of how Remus had looked when they were students, before he had had the Wolfsbane Potion to ease the strain of transformations. Bea was lucky that she would never know what that was like.

Or, rather, she was lucky that she would never had to live without the potion. She had enough memories of being a child and facing the full moon, knowing she would lose her senses and control over her body, but she had at least been able to use the potion once her body had begun to grow large enough that she was at greater risk for danger, and no longer a pup happy to trot and nip alongside Moony and Padfoot.

“We all miss Remus,” Sirius finally said, unsure where else to start, “but you can’t take your hurt out on Teddy or yourself, okay?”

“I’m not,” she snapped.

Sirius reevaluated his course and chose his next set of words carefully, which was a skill he had not really practised until parenthood. “When Remus and I were at Hogwarts together, I really tried to understand what he went through, and he was very good at keeping me and our friends at arm’s length. I did a lot of stupid things trying to get close to him, and you know, I’m not sure I’ll ever fully understand what it’s like to be you and Remus, but you don’t have to do what he did. You don’t have to make yourself lonelier just because no one else will understand. Dora, Teddy, and I are going to love you no matter what, right?”

Her heartbeat fluttered in a way that made Sirius’ anxiety spike, and Bea burst into a new round of tears.

“But it isn’t fair,” she said, and covered her face with her hands. “I don’t want to do this every month for the rest of forever — and I don’t want to do it alone — but I have to. I have to because Remus is gone, and — and I’m a goddamn adult but I just don’t want to. I hate it.”

Sirius wanted to tell her that she wasn’t alone, that he was always with her, but he knew it wasn’t the same. Sirius turning into a dog at will could be just as frustrating for Bea as the fact that Dora and Teddy could change their faces at will. He knew that part of Bea’s anxiety and loneliness came from the fact that she was the only one in the house who had no control over her own form. He also imagined some of it had to do with missing Violet as well, who was a regular source of comfort in the week before the full moon, as James had always been for Remus.

“It isn’t fair,” Sirius agreed. “None of what’s happening is fair. We’ll take it one day at a time. And today’s going to be harder than other days. Some days will be like that, full moon or not. Let’s not worry about next month or next year or forever right now, though. Let’s just worry about today. Can you do that?”

Bea hiccuped on another sob and sniffled again. “Can I cry about forever for a bit longer, though?”

"Can I give you something to make crying a little easier?"

Bea frowned, and Sirius Summoned the jumper he had made. The black knit was unchanged, but on the front was a full moon, peeking out from behind patchwork clouds.

"It'll change with the moon phases, like James' watch. I know you don't wear jumpers, really, but I thought you might like something comfortable, since you're not leaving the house as much."

Bea took the sweater and pulled it against her chest just as she had done with her pillow. "Thanks," she murmured into the jumper.

Sirius could hear that she was inches from breaking again. "Come on downstairs when you're ready. Harry will have your potion, we'll wash it down with cake, and you and I can walk up to the Shrieking Shack together, okay?"

She nodded and hiccuped on another sob. Sirius pressed a kiss on her forehead. It was perhaps not a perfect conversation, but at least they hadn’t shouted at each other. Maybe he didn’t have to be the favourite parent to be a good parent.

#hp everyone lives #hp everyone lives au #sirius black #how did wizards do covid idk this was a worldbuilding project and also #me exploring my self destructive habits during covid

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adulthoodisokay · 2 years

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Hi, anon who asked for life advice a few weeks ago. TY for the response. I just saw your recent post about therapy and remembered you'd recommended it. I know I'm having some issues, but I didn't think they were the type (trauma, abuse, etc.) that would be helped by therapy. If you don't want to answer I understand, but I was wondering generally what happens in therapy and how it helps. (If it's possible to say without revealing personal info of course)

Hey again, anon! Therapy can help with loads of things—it's helpful have a neutral sounding board to talk things over with, whether it be big or small. Therapists can help folks deal with their feelings, process their emotions, feel validated, and put things in perspective.

Everyone's therapy sessions are different, and there are MANY different approaches and kinds of therapy, but if it's helpful, here's the process I went through about a year ago with finding a new therapist:

First I asked a few friends who have mentioned going to therapy what practice they used.

I went to that practice's website and filled out a few forms indicating what I'm looking for in therapy (what issues I've dealt with in the past, and what I was currently dealing with at the time) and a bit about my medical and mental health history.

The practice emailed me back and gave me the names of 4 or 5 of their therapists that focus on some of the things I wanted to address.

I read those therapists' bios on the practice's website and picked one.

We set up an introductory session—basically a 45-minute Zoom lol. The therapist asked a bunch of questions about why I was interested in therapy, what I was currently dealing with mental health-wise, and what I've dealt with in the past.

I liked her vibe, so I began weekly sessions with her and continue to see her still! It's important to remember, though, that if you don't hit it off after a few sessions with a therapist, or don't feel like their approach is working for you, it is 100% okay to say that and to find a different therapist!

My sessions vary week to week, but they usually start with my therapist asking how I've been feeling for the past week and if there is anything in particular on my mind that I want to talk about during the session.

Sometimes something has been really bothering me and we spend the entire session talking about it—these kinds of sessions made up the bulk of the first few months of my sessions when I began seeing this therapist, cause I was Going Through A Lot. Other times we jump all over the place, talking about family and friends and work and the state of the world. Recently, for example, I've been having a lot of anxiety about COVID safety guidelines relaxing and how I still feel really anxious, like, being inside around a lot of other people not wearing a mask. During my last session, the therapist listened to me, asked about my experience during the pandemic, and reassured me that this is completely normal and I'm not alone in feeling this way, which is really validating!

As for what I get out of it? I now recognize that my emotions are valid, I better understand my motivations and my relationships, and it has truly helped me recover from the deep depression I was in. It's a safe space for me to express my emotions truly honestly, with no filter, and I'm a stronger and more self-aware person because of it.

This got really long lol. I hope this gives you some idea of what my personal experience with therapy is like. Everyone's experience is different, though!

Take care, anon! <3

#therapy #cw depression #cw anxiety #abuse mention #trauma mention #long post #personal

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intexda · 3 months

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[long vent post] The annoying part of my brain is the fact that i can go to college for 4 years and most of what my brain has retained of it is shitty alt right interactions. I have retained none of the hvac i studied for but my brain is fucking ready to have imaginary words with a bunch of people i met in college.

It doesn't help that the hvac classes i attended were full of these people to a distracting degree. It especially doesn't help that i wasn't that interested in HVAC to begin with. I went to try and start a career that never panned out because it's the kind of thing where you need money to make money and the courses ran like they were for people who were already familiar with it, which left me lagging behind a lot.

Meanwhile the entire time my teacher interrupted the lessons for right wing conspiracy theories like "Why do EPA employees use chlorine in their pools when it's bad for the ozone layer?" Which is a fine question if you intend to learn from it but this was clearly not that.

He also went on a lot of rants about kids these days not finding old comedy funny but not realizing it wasn't rodney dangerfield they have issues with.

There was also the electrician classes where i just met quite a few people who came to learn a trade so they could shit on fast food workers. Some of which had very specific feelings towards middle east countries and made it well known. (They involved nukes)

The teacher also told me to move to china since i wanted to improve the US, and got offended when i started wearing a mask during the start of the covid pandemic. (They closed school early and finally let me graduate my 2 year course after 4 years during that)

The only thing I really got out of college was a desire to be a library worker, an hvac diploma I can't really make use of unless i go to a better school, an associates in applied science, and a lot of pent up stress and imaginary arguments.

On the plus side the government paid for my schooling so at least I'm not drowning in fucking debt. (I'm just drowning in a lot of textbooks I don't know what to do with)

#venting #vent post #community college

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kosher-martian · 4 months

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I guess I review music now?

No one: Absolutely no one:

The Kosher Martian: Hello and welcome to my review of Nickelback's No Fixed Address

I'm a fan of Nickelback and I won't apologize for it. I have two of their CDs (The Best of Nickelback Volume 1 and No Fixed Address) but I've also listened to their other work through YouTube. I am not an authority on music whatsoever. I do not keep up with the latest popular music. If you sat me down and made me list bands and artists who made their big break after 1992, I might be able to mention a dozen or so. I bought the album and I just thought I should subject you to my opinions of it. Thoughts on the album as a whole: The album is a bit of a mixed bag. Most of the songs are in search of a new sound for Nickelback, but the end result is a mix of that classic Nickelback grunge-but-not-grunge, rock-but-not-rock, country-but-but-country sound mixed with some other random sound that doesn't always mesh. Overall the first half of the album is great and the back half has a lot of totally forgettable filler that I will skip from now on.

Thoughts about each song on the album:

"Million Miles an Hour" - This is a great album opener and a fun, fast-paced song. It's arguably the heaviest-sounding song, I would say it hits my definition of a metal song. If you mixed this in with some Metallica and Fozzy tracks, I don't think anyone would notice. I strongly believe this has earned its place on a car select screen in a PS2 / PS3 era street racing game.

"Edge of a Revolution" - I think this was their attempt at a protest song a la Twisted Sister's "We're Not Gonna Take It". Tonally it's a bit weird hearing Nickelback talk about something that feels topical. Their lyrics always have a nostalgic / backwards-looking vibe to them, so to see them so amped up and talking about the problems of modern society (I think the song is just as applicable in 2024 as it was in 2014), it's a bit of a trip to say the least.

"What Are You Waiting For" - For whatever reason, this just sounds like vague, half-remembered knockoff of "Secrets" by OneRepublic. If you wanted to know what Disney's The Sorcerer's Apprentice would sound like with Nickelback as the leitmotif instead of OneRepublic, this is the song for you.

"She Keeps Me Up" - Okay, this one is just strange. It's a little funky, it's a little pop. It works.... but I feel like it shouldn't? Like a lot of pop songs, there isn't much going on lyrically. It gets stale pretty quickly and I found myself wanting to skip to the next track before the song was halfway over.

"Make Me Believe Again" - Lyrically, this feels closer to Nickelback's older work. Musically it sounds pretty modern. Somewhat forgettable. This was the point on the album where songs started to become more forgettable.

"Satellite" - This sounds like unused content from their previous album, Here and Now. If you like "Lullaby", you'll like this song.

"Get 'Em Up" - This is a fun little story song about bank robbers. I don't have much to say other than it is just fun.

"The Hammer's Coming Down" - This is the song that plays during the credits of bad YA movie you found on Crackle or Tubi.

"Miss You" - In 2029 this will be used unironically in an indie film about two teens who fall in love just before the COVID-19 pandemic hits and follows them as they spend the next three years dating each other exclusively through Zoom. It will be called Love in Quarantine or Our World on Pause or something. The girl will come from a family of handwashing libs who wear masks and go to George Floyd protests and the boy will be the quiet artsy son of a bunch of proud American Patriots who break quarantine, have coronavirus parties, and force the boy to go to Back the Blue rallies. An important part of the film will be the boy's father being put on a ventilator and his mom encouraging the boy to stay in quarantine so he can one day meet the girl he loves. The film ends with them holding hands for the first time since 2019.

"Got Me Runnin' Round" (featuring Flo Rida) - I'm sure this is for someone but it just isn't for me. I don't know who Flo Rida is, but his contributions were.... fine. Not the worst track on the album, but not the best either.

"Sister Sin" - This song is so utterly forgettable that it ended without me noticing.

Final thoughts: Kosher? Pareve. Martian? 7 Red Planets 🔴 out of 10. Mars Attacks!

#nickelback #no fixed address #music review

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tenaciousgay · 1 year

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Since you mentioned it.

I’ve always noticed that ANYONE in Ireland what says that democracy is bad is usually a far-right leaning Justin Barrett (ooh I HATE that little man!)-type person with a nasty vindictive worldview and a very bigoted outlook in general.

You know the type. Nasty miserable middle aged bullies and wannabe dictators who think and insist that they will be the One to lead us all.

No they won’t, get off the fucking bin and stop spouting deranged speeches! They make the Golden Dawn fuckers (a GHASTLY, delusional far right political party in Greece made up of murderous fascists led by a convicted criminal) sound positively coherent by comparison.

Also I noticed yet more silence from FFG on the Dublin-Monaghan bombings anniversary today. At least beyond their usual damage control mythmaking and revisionism.

For all their talk of maturity I’d say it rings hollow. Maybe they don’t like to be reminded that they didn’t too SHIT to help the north and its people, or their own citizens in the case of the Dublin-Monaghan bombings.

The British intelligence services told the loyalists what to do, and the stupid Irish govt let it happen, and blamed Sinn Fein for it like a bunch of cowardly old women.

I've even seen the likes of them repeat the "democracy doesn't work" line you usually get from American neo nazis (well, their dogwhistles which essentially mean that. They hate democracy). It's why, given the evidence of the similarity in rhetoric during the pandemic over masks and the lockdown, I believe the far right world wide is, at the very least, communicating together. They aren't as independent and strong alone as they pretend to be and preach. Not to mention a lot of money finds its way to them from the less democratic countries of the world (cough* looking at you Putin *cough*).

Yeah. It was their usual prepared bollocks they claim are speeches to be quoted on the news. Clearly the individuals don't care, but they have to pretend to care. As if turning up to events as part of the job is such a hassle. Why continue to be a politician if you don't like the less pleasant parts?

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spaciousreasoning · 1 year

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Cabin Fever

Growing tired of being cooped up again. Locked down due to the virus. Our movements restricted to a large extent. Nancy tested negative on Friday, but I’ve still got the bug lingering somewhere in my system.

A couple of folks have suggested that I am no longer contagious, but I’m still cautious of being out and about in public without a mask. Fortunately, in a flurry of online ordering when we returned home, we got a bunch of masks, so we have plenty for whatever need comes next.

Just like at the beginning of the pandemic, we have gotten out into the desert a couple of times, away from people. The weather here has been cooperating for the most part, while elsewhere the nation is under siege from cold and wet. Today we’re only putting up with wind.

For some reason I decided to not test again until Monday. I want to give myself a chance to “get well.” This means, of course, that I will miss my Sunday evening meeting one more time. And after running a couple of shopping errands today, I’ll be back on the couch with a book.

At some point in the near future, we’ll be getting our federal tax refund. I keep checking my bank app to see if it’s arrived yet. It’s just over $1,300, which is a nice chunk of change. No refund from the state, but at least we didn’t owe anything more.

Yesterday’s mail brought a flyer from the Santa Fe Opera. There’s only one show Nancy is interested in, “Tosca,” and it’s showing during my birthday week. We might go, since it’s been a few years, and we do enjoy seeing that part of the country. Plus, we could stop by Farmington on the way back to see Nancy’s cousin.

There could be more exciting things awaiting us in the days to come. When my parents’ old house in Suffolk sells and their estate is settled, there will be funds to distribute among the siblings. But these things take their time, and I’m not crossing my fingers or holding my breath. But I am doing a little dreaming.

P.S. I went ahead and tested on Sunday and turned up negative, so we’ve been released from the chains of lockdown once again. I made my Sunday evening meeting and we ate dinner out and are ready to resume normal life. As normal as it will ever get again.

#life

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rook-specter · 1 year

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Stuff about Object Avenue (+ redesigns!)

I'm gonna make some new content for Object Avenue, except... on here.

At the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic, I had an idea of making an object show about a bunch of objects living in the city, in contrast to most object shows being competitions. That's when I created Dark Oak Tree! I drew a tree-looking thing on Scratch, and said... YEP! That's good enough! But now, here's his redesign!

So basically, I was like... "Yep! This is the main character!" And then, I got bored and made a funny little sidekick for Dark Oak Tree, named Fountain Pen! Here is his redesign!

Originally, Fountain Pen was supposed to be really silly and goofy, but then I decided to make him more of a straight man, but still a bit weird and naive. Anyways, those are the two characters and how I came up with them! If you don't know, I created a LOT of characters for Object Avenue. And some of them appear in the background of the first part of the first episode, but some don't. For example, Chrysalis!

She was supposed to be a character who's one of the main antagonists of the show. Not really a dangerous antagonist, more like a recurring Team Rocket-like antagonist. She's in one scene of the first part of the first episode looking at... a mirror? A box? Something? During the stealing montage at the very beginning of the episode. Dark Oak Tree steals her hat and that's supposed to be one of the antagonists! She's supposed to be a reoccurring character, that was supposed to be her origin story, but in that part she just... has a shocked expression on her face. And the other characters are like... Scale,

He was in the second episode, he's the person that Dark Oak Tree steals a knife from in the first one, and in the second one, he's one of the people that Dark Oak Tree and Fountain Pen helped, and he has... kind of a dark side. He attacks with knives in self-defense and he may have accidentally killed a person or two because of that. There's Cosplay Mask, Dark Oak Tree stole a yo-yo from her, if you've seen that, and there's all of Spiky Star's platoon, which includes Traffic Cone, Swirl, and Fountain Pen himself! All of those characters in that platoon have their own personalities, that I wanted to show off in later episodes, but... y'know. I didn't. And on top of that, there's this criminal organization that's an actual threat, called Stormdrain, they were supposed to catch Dark Oak Tree because he's actually a [REDACTED]. And I feel that was kinda wasted, because I only made an episode and a half.

And that brings us back to that episode and a half. I'm... not proud of it. I'll go back to it every once in a while, but it's not really anything I'm proud of at all. The art is super outdated compared do how I draw objects nowadays, and yeah. Still not the worst thing I've ever made. I was proud of it when I first made it, but I'm not really proud of it now. I feel like the problem was that I didn't really get much recognition for making Object Avenue, like, at all. And I also lost motivation for making it, which is why I didn't continue it until now, here, on Tumblr.

Which leads us to the great reveal! I am turning Object Avenue into an ask blog here, on Tumblr. Some asks will have full drawings, while others will be just text. I wanted to create an ask blog for SO LONG! And since Object Avenue was like, a fun little original project sprouted by the pandemic, and not based on an already existing object show, this is gonna be me making an ask blog on Object Avenue! A new ask blog, and hopefully it's successful! I might resort to posting with tags that aren't even related to it, but it will get fame, I am sure of it. The ask blog will pick up right where the first episode left off, and yes, Cursor will still get introduced as a third wheel, but with sort-of a retcon of when and where he shows up. I'll split up each event into parts, and you'l get to ask more and more people, including Chrysalis, and shenanigans will ensue. It's also still gonna be a comedy, and I'll answer asks whenever I can, meaning it may take a month or so to get through half a part, and those are my plans for the Object Avenue ask blog! I don't know when I'm gonna make it, but hopefully soon, but I'll make a promo for that ask blog, so y'all can see that, and that's all!

And, oh! Before I go, if you haven't seen Object Avenue, here's the studio that contains it!

#rook says shit #long post #object shows #osc #inanimate insanity #battle for dream island #bfdi #hfjone #sorry for tagging this things that it shouldn't be tagged #but it has to be done

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tewaharangatahirealist · 2 years

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COMM515_2022_S2 Assignment 2: Blog 2

Anyone on here ever wonder what it means to be the other guy? Some of you probably are to be honest. I've always grown up believing that looking at all situations through the eyes of others is the most empathetic and best way to understand the issues we all face. I bring this random thought up because covid has me thinking about this constantly. Whether it is just wearing a mask, or wondering why other people aren't socially distancing. There are so many different scenarios that run through my head daily. I Often question if some people have empathy, do they ever see things from the perspective of others.

I bring up covid and empathy due to the large number of kiwis that got locked out of New zealand during the pandemic. I'm mainly reflecting on the tweet left by FankNZ ``Being locked out of my country last year as a New Zealand citizen because of Jacinda Ardern’s border policies means that ‘being a kiwi’ means nothing. What a shame. #nzpol”. FrankNZ. (2022, September 15). I wanna say the decision to lock people out of their home country is a safe one, for the people, the right decision or whatever crap the government sends us. Let's be real, people live here, they grew up here, they have a birthright to be a citizen of this country. Why are they being locked out? Sure it's safer to stop transmission, so let's not save everyone on the sinking ship, let's be selective, how is that fair? You can probably tell I'm frustrated by the choice to lock people out. My view on this is strong because my own mother was locked out of the country for 3 months. I lost three months of time with my mother. Thanks Jacinda for that, she taxed more than just money from me and I'm sick of it.

So let's sum it up then. This random tweet, from FrankNZ opened up such a large debate, his political views shared by a lot of people too. Hundreds of comments attached to his tweet, saying how much of a shame it is. I mention the sum up because it's crazy how many people have empathy for the government. There are comments talking about the stress they must be under, how hard it is to run a country at such a time. Lest we forget it's not just her running the country, there are thousands of people working behind her. This decision was made by hundreds of people running a perfect democracy. It's horseshit, I'm sorry if this offends you but the thought of people choosing to lock families away from each other is crazy. I again hit you with empathy, do they understand what it means to be the other guy? Is this all just for the greater good of the country? Were run by a bunch of utilitarian bastards. But then again I'm 19, I didn't vote and I refuse to read the news. My understanding of the world is little, the understanding of political parties is even smaller. The only thing I hold onto is my connection to family which basically runs all of my decisions. At the end of the day these small rants and blogs are meaningless, FrankNZ quote is just a message of frustration. At the end of the day we are all human and empathy should always be there in that sense.

I guess that brings up another point? How much does the average person know about our government, is it enough? Being a citizen of this country I'm affected by most decisions they make. I guess what I'm trying to say is maybe the route of all this hate speech and frustration comes from a lack of knowledge about the processes and actions taken by the government groups and corporations. Why are they kept from us? They shouldn't have anything to hide from the people, we give them hard earned money and resources(people) to achieve the great life we all aim for. I'm going off track, what I want is a translucent government, one where we can see, watch and comment on everything being done. I want to know what thoughts go into the decisions they make, is jacinda really the best person for the Job? These are difficult questions that could quite possibly never get answered. Just look at the Uk, two prime ministers in 4 months both resigning from too much publicity. Both doing secretly vile and illegal actions. I want to know what happens inside our government despite me having zero control over them.

I guess to summarise this blog, the tweet brings up a good point, why are we so restricted by our government? In no way am I anti vax nor do I seek a rebellion. I am in no way a nazi or crazy. I'm nearing a young man questioning the world. I'm uneducated, mainly overwhelmed and eager for change. Whatever happens to New Zealand in the future I believe we can be better than this. In that sense maybe it's time I look at my own less empathetic views and change them, and care more. Life is hard, this blog is hard, see you next week.

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lighthouseshowerdoors · 2 years

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Why Are Commercial Sneeze Guards Necessary?

Do you know that a cough can travel up to 50mph and introduce almost 3,00 droplets into the air? Sneezing can go up to 100mph and result in over 100,000 droplets! These stats and the introduction of Covid-19 have forced many people to act more aware of their personal hygiene practices.

As we return to our everyday lives post-COVID, commercial hospitality glass guards have been a savior for many businesses like restaurants, retail stores, and other on-location service providers. It enables their employees and customers to conduct regular business while staying safe. It is now recommended in several countries to wear face masks to help stop the spread of COVID.

All Businesses Must Consider Installing Sneeze Guards.

There is no doubt that commercial sneeze guards promote workplace safety. During the current pandemic, safety should be the primary concern, and glass guards can keep everyone safe, which can benefit your business for several years to come. The pandemic has shown us that close human contact can quickly transfer germs and viruses. Installing commercial sneeze guards in your vicinity is a protective barrier between your employees and customers, eliminating any possibility of transmission.

Hence, it's always wise to install glass sneeze barriers to make your employees and customers feel safe and comfortable when they do business with you.

It Shows Concern

Installing a protective sneeze guard will show your employees that you, as their employer, care about their safety and well-being. It will be a critical investment, especially in this day and age.

Creating a safe and clean working environment should not be a hassle. Most commercial sneeze guards you find online are made installation and maintenance-friendly. They are pretty portable and can easily be adjusted according to your needs. This helps you quickly relocate and install them as you see fit.

It's The Best Time To Buy Sneeze Guards.

Considering the recent COVID-19 pandemic, sneeze guards have become very popular amongst business owners across the globe. The pandemic reminded many businesses about the importance of protecting their customers and employees and helping the community by limiting the outbreak.

You can find several glass sneeze screen providers online who offer you dependable protection at a cheap price. However, you must first check their product quality before purchasing a bunch of them. We suggest you purchase only from a recognizable company that has been in business for years. Remember, if you get a dodgy protection screen, you might as well have no screen at all.

Now that you know all the benefits you get from sneezing guards, you must immediately look for a solution. It doesn't matter if you are running a financial firm, café, supermarket, banking institution, or any other business; a commercial sneeze protection screen is an essential piece of furniture to install in your workplace.

A smart business owner understands that their employees are the key to success. So, without wasting time, it would be best to start looking for a good quality glass sneeze protector immediately! If you have any doubts about the product or wish to learn more about its benefits, feel free to speak with a professional.

#commercial hospitality glass #commercial sneeze guards

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unschoolhome · 2 years

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Take Me Out of This Prison

My kids and their friends were exploring a canyon and found themselves at the fence of an elementary school during recess.

A bunch of unmasked school kids staring at a group of masked up wild children, staring back.

“Take me out of this prison! Take me to freedom with you!” One of the kids jokingly (I assume) said.

A teacher came over and asked if my kids were with their parents (yes). He then warned them about snake danger in that canyon (good call).

I keep picturing that fence. The unmasked caged children. The wild masked children. There is a short film in there somewhere.

Y has been working through a lot of pre-covid memories lately. He has obviously been holding all this inside. It makes me realize how NOT there I was in those moments - what a different lens I held up to see him through.

Tonight, Y asked me about an incident from the past. He was recovering from an illness and I tried to convince him to attend a school event. He put his foot down and I relented. But obviously for him it was not over. Two and a half years later, he asked me why I insisted like that. His feelings were still hurt - he had gotten his way, but not my real, heart-felt acceptance of his decision.

I told him the truth. Before pandemic life and homeschooling, I cared a lot about meeting (and exceeding) the expectation of the school and the teachers. I cared about fitting in. I pushed my kids to do what felt right to me, not to them. Not only for the sake of appearances - I supplanted their comfort level for my own. I apologized. I told him this is my first time parenting and that I am doing my best and learning all the time.

I shared with him how much I learn from him. Y is a shining star. He is so bright and bold and never, ever going to fit into a round hole like everyone else. He doesn’t care about fitting in with a group if it means going against his inner voice. Yet he can fit in with - and lead - a group if it is in line with his inner drive. He has tremendous energy for the things he wants to do and no time to waste on the things that don’t interest him. Yet he can and does do things that must be done, even if he doesn’t like them, provided he understands the reasons behind it. He is a kind, sweet, caring, funny, energetic, imaginative, creative person who can lead himself - he does not need or want others to hold his reins or tamper with his power in any way.

He said he likes spending so much time with his family. He likes that the life we have now is not rushing everywhere. He feels that his life is good.

As we talked, I felt so proud of him, so grateful that this person is in my life. I felt doubly honored to parent him respectfully because my husband is so like Y and was not listened to or treated with due care and together we break that pattern for our children.

And I felt immense gratitude and relief that I have gone through this pandemic experience, so that I can be the kind of parent that I am now. Please god, let me continue to be a person who listens, who works alongside, who respects. What was I missing, trying to get to school on time? What was I missing, feeling embarrassed that he was too loud or always had his clothes on backward? What was I missing when I didn’t listen, I told. Thank god I have arrived here at this moment, seeing the changes I have made for the better - a child who is empowered, who is healing himself, who is doing this in partnership with me because I opened that door. Tonight I think: how can I ever doubt myself? How can I every doubt my child? How can I every doubt homeschooling, unschooling, like this? And could school have been better, more satisfying, and less stressful for Y if I had approached it with this mindset: an advocate for my child rather than an overgrown student ready to please?

The most important person in MY homeschooling journey is ME. The person who needs to deschool the most - me. The person who needed to read all of those books and blogs and grapple with the ideas about unschooling - me. My kids are not me. They have had 3.75 years in school; I have had 27. And my journey in education is ever unfolding, always beginning.

I am filled with gratitude tonight at the education I have received this past two years and three months. What began as lockdown has begun to set all of us free in ways we never thought possible. The work is not over; it’s not done being hard. But I will acknowledge all I have done to get myself, and subsequently, us, “out of this prison.”

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things-i-cannot-do-in-amitypark · 3 years

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I know that actions during the pandemic make us think everyones a selfish asshole

and a lot of my research definitely supports this

but i was shocked off my high fucking horse at our very human tendency for kindness

and get this - its the population of my study that shocks me the most because here are 20-50,000 primarily middle to upper class parents in america who

paid their cleaning people/hairdresser/yard workers etc. every month they had to cancel

made 'cute' masks for kids from families who couldn't afford them so they wouldnt feel 'singled out' in school

refused to let mask deniers feel justified in their opinions and would loudly and publicly embarrass them with the 'power of Karen' (actual quote) until they left or covered up

tipped every person forced to work, no matter the service

rallied entire online communities into recognizing that our vulnerable populations are the most at risk – and even if you dont want to protect yourself, it is at the very least your duty to protect others.

put students mental and physical health above grades and test scores (GAP year #s are hella high)

bullied anyone online who so much as dared to claim Covid-19 was a hoax or something racist/xenophobic – if you think kids are quick to insult on the internet wait until you've seen a bunch of old ppl tell each other to fuck off in a comments section

in my expert opinion, mask/vaccine deniers getting beaten down by the Karens of the internet feels a bit like judging a costume contest for clowns where one shows up with a flower that squirts water and the other brings a gun,,,,,,,,,,,,both are dressed like clowns but only one is the fool

some fav quotes:

PARENT 1: "A lady posted on Facebook that she was tired of being verbally harassed by 'masked zombies.'"

PARENT 2: "You know what I’m tired of? The pandemic. Mask up, bitch."

"Not wearing a mask is basically telling everyone 'you owe me protection, but I don’t care about your safety at all.'"

"Look, time has no meaning. Is it 2021? Is it 2007? Am I alive? I dont know. My therapist doesn't know. Nobody knows but God and he and I aren't talking right now."

my point to all of this

(other than its 4am and adhd go burrrrrrrr)

never forget that the loudest voices tend to be the ugliest but we are first and foremost human and it is our capacity for kindness and desire to alleviate the suffering of others that binds us

the pandemic is awful and it'll have long-lasting effects we cant even begin to predict, but there is kindness in this world no matter what loudmouthed idiots on Facebook/Twitter claim

.....

(another really cool thing is how many adults are realizing they've been ROBBED of freedom and healthy mental/physical well-being in the name of CAPITALIST PRODUCTIVITY and ik thats been a huge DUH thing for a while but its so ingrained in the adult population because its 'how things have always been' and theyve never been allowed to experience otherwise but omfg so many of them took up new hobbies, had time for their kids, and felt 'happier and healthier than they have in years',,,,,,,,,,can i get a fuck capitalism)

#covid virus #covid 19 #research #personal #coronavirus #only like 10 ppl will see this but ahhhhhhhhhh #i expected so much depression from my study data and got punched in the face with people being people #just doing their best to understand our shit situation #each other #and what we can do to make things better #dont @ me with some sort of one dimensional nonsense about ppl #nuance baby #we eat it here #capitalism #society #parenting #adhd brain #let me sleep pls #not dp

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kcabyap · 3 years

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Dearest Etienne.

Hi again, I’m having kind of a troublesome day today... not to bother you with my troubles but long story short, due to the pandemic I had been refusing to go out with my “friends” or even visit, and today I saw their posts on Instagram that they had a sleepover without even inviting me ;-;

Can I request a headcanon of the MC finding out their friends back in the human world have kind of removed them from their lives after she’d been in the devildom for so long and the brothers (and if you wish to) the (un)datables comforting them? :x

I particularly enjoy your writing and that’s why I come to you, as always hehe :3

With love,

Emi ♡

P.S: I’m hoping you don’t mind my often requests and that they do not bother you. :>

Dearest Emi! I'm really sorry that happened to you... that was really lame of your 'friends' to do that, though if you ask me, you're absolutely doing the right thing by staying away from others during the pandemic; it's the best way to stay safe. Still though, I really hope you feel better soon and that your day gets better. I absolutely don't mind the requests, and I'm so happy that you like my writing! I did all the brothers, all the undateables, and a platonic one for Luke, and I hope you enjoy! ❤

The Brothers And Undateables Comforting The Human When Their Friends Forget About Them

— The Scenario

Tears stung in their eyes as they scrolled through their social media feed, their jaw clenching. Pictures upon pictures flew past as their thumb idly swiped their phone's screen; pictures of their friends together, laughing, joking, smiling... Pictures of their friends all being happy together during the year they had been away in the Devildom...

Pictures of their friends acting as though they weren't even gone; as though they didn't even exist.

It wouldn't have felt so bad if any of them had really acknowledged them after they'd come back. It wouldn't have felt so bad if they'd gotten more than awkward greetings, a few mildly curious questions before their 'friends' lost interest, one or two awkward get-togethers where they just felt out of place and out of the loop...

As soon as they got a chance to return to the Devildom for a while, they practically leapt on it. They saw no reason to stay in the human world, with a bunch of humans who had forgotten about them so shockingly quickly.

But when they did return to the place that felt more like home than their home did, seemingly their sorrow was still noticeable...

— Lucifer

Nothing gets past Lucifer, least of all the sadness of his most cherished human; he senses it without them saying a word.

He'll offer them an embrace; one that's close, genuine, firm enough to be comforting but delicate enough to not be fearsome.

Whether it's a fancy dinner at the Devildom's nicest restaurant, or a quiet night in his room listening to records, he'll do whatever they'd like to cheer them up.

This man is a wonderful listener and he'll be sure to tell them how very much he and his brothers appreciate them, how foolish their so-called friends were for their actions.

(...though inside, he'll absolutely be plotting for those so-called 'friends' to meet some manner of unfortunate situation...)

— Mammon

His human is upset? Oh, Mammon is not going to leave them alone until they tell him what's up; this man loudly wants to help.

He's absolutely appalled. How the hell could anyone not be happy to be with them?! How could anyone just forget them!? He could never forget them...

Lots of hugs, tight - maybe a little too tight but he means well - and loving and supportive, as he tells them (in his tsundere way) just how great they are.

He'll take them out for a night on the town to forget all about those stupid 'friends,' to remind them of all the fun stuff in the Devildom!

By the time the night's over, there's no way the human won't feel cared about; not when Mammon so clearly adores them.

— Leviathan

See this is exactly why normies don't deserve someone as fun and interesting and cool and cute as MC! (N-Not that he thinks they're cute, don't be stupid...)

He'll talk with them about how much their 'friends' suck; he can relate, there are a lot of people he doesn't get along with too.

Whatever their favourite anime is, Levi's absolutely willing to binge it with them; or whatever their favourite game is, he'll play it with them!

It's in his own shy, stuttering, tsundere way, but he tells them that he'll never betray them like that... they're his Henry, after all.

And... he'll give them a hug. Even though his heart is pounding and he's sweating buckets, he wants to show that he cares.

— Satan

...He's smiling sweetly as they tell him what happened, but it's one of those smiles that is barely hiding his deep and burning anger.

He hates their 'friends.' He tells them how awful those 'friends' are, how they never deserved a friend as beautiful as them, how he'd make them all suffer if he could...

Once they get past his, well, wrath, Satan's happy to cuddle his human close and soothe them by reading them a good book.

If they want to go out, he'll take them along on one of his wanders around the Devildom. The stray cat who goes around recently had kittens, after all!

He'll be extra protective, extra affectionate, to make sure they know that they're always welcomed and loved by him.

— Asmodeus

Pleeeeeeeease, human, please tell Asmo what's wrong! He's going to be pouting and clinging to their arm until they tell him...

When they do tell him, his eyes are angry, and he's immediately stealing them away to his room.

So. Many. Cuddles. He's so physically affectionate, and he'll tell them how wonderful they are in-between peppering adoring kisses over their cheeks.

He's keeping his human to himself! Stress is bad for the skin, so he'll pamper them with skin creams and face masks, and he'll paint their nails and coo over how cute they are...

Again, it'll be impossible to feel unloved when Asmo is around to adore them so much.

— Beelzebub

Beel is a bit like a soft puppy, and the puppy eyes when the human tells him what happened are real.

How could anyone forget about them...? How could they be so mean? The human's the most generous person he's ever met...

He just wordlessly opens his arms and lets them cuddle into his strong form, holding them tight.

He'll cook for them; whatever they want, and in big quantities, enough for them to share as they catch up and joke together.

Words aren't exactly Beel's strong suit, but it's so clear how much he cares, and it's so heartwarming.

— Belphegor

Okay, first the human will have to pry him off of them and wake him up. (Belphie has clearly missed his human bodypillow...)

His sleepy eyes will narrow in anger once they tell him. How dare anyone be so mean to his human...?

He'll assure them that those people never deserved them; those people aren't worth anything, they're not worth worrying about.

Lots and lots of cuddles, his hands gently massaging their shoulders to soothe and relax them...

It's hard to feel upset when you're asleep or being cuddled, and Belphie has them covered for both of these things.

— Diavolo

He... does not understand. How could anyone brush off such a fascinating, beautiful, wonderful person...?

He'll offer a hug, though he'll be a little tentative about it; he doesn't want to hurt his dear human... they're much smaller than him...

Being the prince - and, uh, having a bit more money than sense - Diavolo will happily take them out on the town and spoil them.

In fact... he'll throw an entire ball in their honour! The whole Devildom will arrive in his castle to celebrate their return!

Anything to make the human happy... They're so special to him; if they're being treated wrong in the human world, he'll show them that the Devildom loves them.

— Simeon

This man is ready to become the human's literal guardian angel in that moment; he looks so very sad.

His embrace is gentle, warm, and delicate... being hugged by Simeon kind of feels like being hugged by a cloud.

He'll cup their face, telling them that while humans can be cruel, they aren't all like that... but no matter what the humans do, he'll always be there for his favourite one.

If they want to come up to the Celestial Realm with him, he'll do what he can to pull some strings and bring them with him.

That night, he'll read them a bedtime story that he wrote... one about an angel who falls hopelessly in love with a sweet, kind human.

— Solomon

Ah. He sympathises. Other humans can be... difficult sometimes; he's been shunned and forgotten about by people in his time too.

But never fear! He'll cook them a nice dinner! (...it will not be nice, but it will have been made with love.)

He'll try to distract them from how they're feeling by telling them fantastical tales from his long, long life.

But... he'll be sure that they know: in that long, long life, they're the most special person he's ever met.

The human's 'friends' might have hurt them, but not all humans are bad... Solomon's proof of that.

— Barbatos

He knew this was coming, and so he isn't the most outwardly upset about it... though make no mistake, he is upset that they're feeling bad.

Being a butler, he's used to serving, and he wants to spoil the human to make them feel better.

They're going to be treated to tea, cakes... quite literally the royal treatment, from the prince's own butler.

His way of caring is quite reserved, but he makes sure to let the human know how much he enjoys their company, how glad he is that they're back.

And although he doesn't give hugs often... he'll happily make the exception for them, even giving a rarely seen blush and a rarely heard laugh.

— Luke

What?! Their friends just... abandoned them? Didn't want to spend time with them? Ignored them?

He's immediately barking at demanding Simeon to let you hang out with them at Purgatory Hall for a while!

He'll be their friend instead! He'll bake them lots and lots of sweet things, to make them feel better.

He's only a kid, so he isn't exactly the world's best at advice or comfort or anything like that...

But the little guy cares, and he cares loudly, letting the human know that their 'friends' were totally wrong to pass up on such a fun person!

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo #obey me simeon #obey me solomon #obey me barbatos #obey me luke #kcabyap's writing again

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theyreonlynoodlesmike · 3 years

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It’s Just a Movie: Chapter 2 (Poly!Lost Boys x Fem!Reader)

<- Previous Chapter Next Chapter ->

Warnings: cursing

Word Count: 1483

If you hadn't seen the movie, you would've thought they were just a couple of guys. They seemed completely at ease, and introductions were made quickly by the blondes beside you. They were like a well oiled machine. The second Dwayne and David approached, Marko left your side. You saw him whisper something to the bleached blonde, but Paul was stealing your attention away before you could even think to eavesdrop. He was hyper and charming, and, most of all, a distraction. It made it so the others could plan behind you, and you felt like a lone rabbit being swarmed by a pack of wolves. Paul reached out for your face again, this time purposely brushing against the cloth of your mask.

"So, what are you supposed to be?" He asked, and you reluctantly gave him the forefront of your attention at the suddenness of the question. You had been wearing your mask for months, almost long enough to even forget it was on your face. For a moment, you thought twice about taking it off. While you were sure you didn't have the virus, what if you were wrong? Bringing a pandemic back to the eighties hadn't been apart of your agenda tonight, but you decided that keeping it on would only make them ask more questions. You pulled it off, letting it bunch up under your chin.

"Uh, modern plague doctor." You quickly supplied, and the blonde vampire gave you a wide smile at the seemingly random costume idea. He even laughed a little, before he said,

"Oh, you gonna check me out? Make sure I'm healthy?" He flirted, waggling his brows at you. You had to admit, he was pretty good at his job. Too good. You had missed the entirety of the other threes conversation, and they had taken the few short paces to join you and the fourth of their quartet. David reached for the cigarette behind his ear, and you could feel your nerves light up like the end of his cigarette. There was a constant debate over whether or not the boys were actually evil, as they mainly targeted those that bothered them or those dubbed 'surf-nazis'. But, you had a feeling that if any of them were to notice how you were out of place, and time, it would be David. The way his eyes looked you over made you shiver, and Paul took this as an opportunity to wrap his arm around you. Pulling you close and partially under his heavy jacket. "Cold?" He asked, flirting almost too heavily.

"I- I'm fine, really." You tried to say, but you found yourself stumbling over your words when you looked up into his face. He was leaning down partially so he wouldn't tower over you as much, but all it did was bring his face closer to yours. You quickly looked away, and your eyes went back to David's face. Big mistake. He gave you a small smirk, blowing out the smoke of his cigarette between you.

"So, you're meeting your friends at the boardwalk? Kind of shitty to leave you alone like that." He commented, tapping off the ash at the end of his cigarette. You opened your mouth to defend them, but you quickly shut it. How were you supposed to explain that your friends would never actually ditch you like that? That the only reason they were nowhere to be found was because you had stumbled into an alternative dimension, fallen asleep, or who knows? Maybe you somehow landed in the movie. You instead said a lame,

"Yeah, I guess." And quickly added, "We're meeting at the carousel." To fill up the silence. You had noticed this in the movie, but David had a strange way of using silence to get his way. He seemed to be using it now, trying to get any information out of you that he could. His eyes were piercing, and he used his cigarette to excuse the silence that dragged between the two of you. You couldn't stand it, and you filled it in again with, "They'll be wearing masks like me." If they're even here. Finally, after a pause, he said,

"Well, let's go then." When it seemed you would tell them nothing more. He gave a small smirk to Marko, and then looked at Paul and Dwayne. You saw a strange similarity to the beginning scene, and a pit had opened up in your stomach. You looked to Marko and Dwayne, carefully avoiding looking at the vampire with the arm around your shoulder. Even as he chuckled besides you. Marko had a mysterious grin on his face, similar to the one you had seen time and time again in the movie. Dwayne, well, was as big as a mystery as he'd been on the screen. You knew he hadn't been given many lines, so you were surprised when he gave you a small smile and said,

"Dibs." Only to earn an eruption of protest from the blonde besides you.

"What? No way, man! I saw her first!" Paul yelled, practically leaning over you so he could push the brunette. Almost as if he was trying to push him away from you as the four steered you towards their bikes. You would've laughed, and maybe have been flattered, if you didn't know that they were most likely talking about who got to eat you.

"But he called dibs." David said, and you were almost surprised that the blonde was going to respect it. You shot him a glance, and, when your eyes met, you quickly looked away. After a huff and a laugh from the other boys, Paul begrudgingly removed the arm from around your shoulders, and Dwayne replaced it from your other side. You tried not to think about the fact that his bare skin was grazing against your side and you definitely didn't look at his bare chest.

"Whatever, you wanna ride with me, don't you, y/n?" Paul asked, and a wave of semi-relief washed over you. The bikes. They were talking about who you would ride with. Well, that's what you hoped. You tried not let your look of relief be a little too obvious, but you looked between the boys. You remembered the bike scene well. How David nearly went off the edge of the cliff. How Paul was supposed to have a scene where he jumped over a bonfire. How Marko was seen clearly not looking at the path ahead of him during majority of his scene. And then how Dwayne had been a safe enough driver to carry a ten year old on his back.

"Yeah, I'm gonna ride with Dwayne." It was a no brainer, and it made the tallest of the boys smirk besides you. Paul let out a loud protest, and Marko cackled besides him. It seemed that he had really expected you to choose him, and, perhaps, since you hadn't been dodging his advances, he had a little bit of a reason to think so. Paul muttered something about Dwayne always getting the girls behind you, but you couldn't hear him clearly over Marko's fake sympathy. He guided you to his bike, throwing a small,

"Told you." Over his shoulder before he sat down. You just chalked it up to a previous conversation, or maybe a mental mind link, as you followed him. You stared at the dirtbike for a moment. Sure, they looked cool. Sure, you may have said that you wanted to ride with them a few times. But now that the opportunity was in front of you? It was a little intimidating. You tried to remind yourself that so far you hadn't screwed this up. They were going to take you to the boardwalk, you would find a way to ditch them, and hopefully get back to your time- dimension- whatever. Dwayne looked over at you, gesturing with a nod, and you gulped before you climbed behind him. He helped you on, and then the bike under you, and all around you, revved to life. David finished his cigarette, and then the blonde at the far end peeled off.

You only had a second to wrap your arms around Dwayne's waist, and you hooked your arms together tight as the bike began to move. You were confident that you had made the right choice, especially when you witnessed the other three zipping and dodging cars. Dwayne followed, tailing the three of them but still not driving as safely as you had hoped. They finally stopped, having driven up the handicap rail and onto the boardwalk to park them against the railing near a familiar set of stairs. They had forced a few kids to jump out of the way and earned a couple of quick yells. But, you were too busy taking a look around to really notice. Here it was. Santa Carla.

((I decided to say screw it and post this story on both ao3 and tumblr))

#the lost boys #the lost boys imagines #the lost boys x reader #the lost boys 1987 #the lost boys david #david the lost boys #the lost boys marko #marko the lost boys #the lost boys paul #paul the lost boys #the lost boys dwayne #dwayne the lost boys

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mostlysignssomeportents · 3 years

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Understanding the aftermath of r/wallstreetbets

A couple days back, I wrote up my best understanding of what happened with /r/wallstreetbets and meme stocks like Gamestop, trying to show how all the different, seemingly contradictory takes on the underlying financial stuff could all be true.

https://pluralistic.net/2021/01/28/payment-for-order-flow/#wallstreetbets

In the days since, a new series of contradictory takes has emerged, these ones disputing the meaning of this bizarre financial spectacle, and likewise what response, if any is warranted as it unfurls.

I think that all of these takes can also be true, and as with the trading itself, reconciling them requires that we widen the frame.

Let's start with Jimmy Carter.

In 1978, Carter's IRS created the 401(k), a tax-sheltered account for people who wanted to gamble on stocks to fund their retirement.

That was a fringe proposition at best.

The normal retirement system was a "defined benefits" pension where your employer guaranteed you a certain monthly percentage of your salary from retirement to death.

The vast majority of Americans wisely prefered a guaranteed payout to a tax-advantaged gambling account.

Obviously, right? On the one hand, you have the guarantee of a pension (maybe even inflation-indexed); on the other, you have a bunch of bets, that, if they go wrong, leave you literally homeless and starving.

When gamblers remortgage the family home and cash in the kids' college funds to play the tables, we consider them to have a mental illness, a pathological condition that harms them and the people around them.

Giving up a defined benefits pension in favor of a 401k is just the same kind of bet - staking all the money that will support you when you exit the workforce on the movement of stocks and bonds.

Who would do that voluntarily?

Pretty much no one. But the transition from defined benefits to 401k was not voluntary. Finance ghouls like Ethan Lipsig wrote memos to major employers like Hughes Aircraft showing them how they could ditch their pension obligations by moving workers to 401ks.

In the 80s, Reagan created a bunch of legal tools that allowed employers to coerce their workforces into giving up the security of a pension and force them into gambling their salaries on the prayer of a win in the markets.

This was insanely, amazingly great for the finance sector, in three ways:

1. It made companies more profitable. Guaranteeing that the workers whose labor made your company viable wouldn't spend their dotage starving and homeless is expensive.

Helping fund wagers on shares is much cheaper. The finance sector represented the major shareholders of the companies that transitioned to 401ks. The savings were transferred to these shareholders and the finance sector got commissions.

What's more, this temporary inflation of share prices disguised what was going on with the pension switcheroo: workers' defined benefits pensions were liquidated and turned into stocks, just as stocks were going up because their pensions had been liquidated!

Their legs had been amputated out from under them, but so subtly that they didn't yet feel the pain - and now their bosses cooked their legs and snuck them into their dinner, and everyone marveled at how full they felt after that hearty, meaty meal.

2. 401ks brought a lot of suckers to the table. The market was - and is - dominated by "sophisticated investors," AKA predators, who knew all the ways to fleece the rubes who had no idea how any of this worked.

The predatory nature of finance only increased over time. Hedge funds, for example, exist to find unethical practices that are legal (thanks to loopholes in the rules) and exploit them until they are illegal.

3. 401ks created a political force outside the finance sector that would lobby on its behalf. Transforming America into a nation of stockholders meant that workers had to choose between supporting rules that protected their jobs and rules that protected their retirement.

For your pension account to grow, you had to support policies that permitted finance ghouls to offshore your job, or misclassify you as a contractor, or eliminate the safety rules that prevented you from being maimed, or take away your right to sue for compensation.

Every time there's a particularly ghastly bankruptcy driven by PE or hedge funds - Toys R Us, Sears, etc - it emerges that at least some of that money is coming out of a union pension fund.

That's marketization - turning the once obscure, boring business of market-based capital allocation into a matter of import to everyday people.

Marketization begat financialization.

While marketization is primarily about capital allocation (who gets what money), financialization is about bets. Sometimes those bets are about things - businesses, houses, coal and timber - but things are limited. Mostly the financial market consists of bets on other bets.

Bets are infinite. Every time you make a bet, you create inventory for a market in a bet on the outcome of your bet. And that's inventory for a new market: bets on the outcomes of bets on the outcomes of bets.

It's called Wall Street Bets for a reason.

Bets need referees, someone who decides who the winner is. In sports, it's a major scandal if a referee is caught wagering on one of the teams in a match. In the financial markets, it's the norm - referees that lay wagers on the outcome of the contest they're overseeing.

Let's take stock:

Workers are forced to play the casino, and if their bets fail, they spend their old ages homeless and starving;

The vast majority of casino games are wholly abstract - bets on bets on bets - and require layers of refs;

the refs are all crooked.

Every couple of years, we have a massive, systemic financial crisis, and every time that happens, the finance sector lobbies for a no-strings-attached bailout, abetted by suckers who hate the finance sector but fear starving in their old age.

We're about to be engulfed in the second-largest crisis of our lifetime - the reckoning from trillions in capital market gains propped up by the Trump administration's policy of buying all corporate debt as a covid stimulus.

https://pluralistic.net/2020/09/28/cyberwar-tactics/#aligned-incentives

(the largest crisis of our lifetimes is a few years off, as the climate emergency piles losses on losses, stranding tens of trillions in assets, from fossil fuels to obsolete gas-stations to literally underwater coastal real-estate to whole towns incinerated by wildfires)

That's where we're at: a crooked casino that we've trusted our futures too, a crisis on the horizon, and a bunch meme-stock "players" who have thrown the normal weirdness of the market into stark relief through a spectacular stunt.

A lot of people are angry at Robinhood, the stock-trading platform at the center of all this. Robinhood froze trading on meme stocks, and has only allowed it to come back in a useless, performative trickle that is seemingly calculated to prevent more meme-stock gamesmanship.

Is Robinhood just another crooked ref? Yes…and no. The meme stock run upset the stable cheaters' equilibrium whereby cheating never escalated to the point where the game just collapsed.

For example, the total short position on Gamestop exceeds its total stock issuance.

Translation: there were more Gamestop shares promised between bettors than exist. When the game stops, all those promises come due, and they literally can't be paid off because there aren't enough tokens in circulation to settle all the debts.

Robinhood halted trading in part because the big fish upstream of Robinhood also halted trading, because they have even more at risk than Robinhood does if the game collapses - they the refs for MANY players, all the same size as Robinhood or larger.

https://www.bloomberg.com/opinion/articles/2021-01-29/reddit-traders-on-robinhood-are-on-both-sides-of-gamestop

But remember, the refs are cheating. And they are both downstream and upstream from other games in which the refs are also cheating.

And the games, as a whole, encompass our economy, including the solvency of the "real economy" (the people who make masks, deliver groceries and drive ambulances), and whether you spend your old age homeless and starving.

So the people who say, "Don't blame Robinhood, they didn't halt trading to help billionaires, they halted trading to prevent the game from collapsing are right."

But they're not the only ones who are right.

Also, there's the people who say that meme stocks aren't making money for little guys at the expense of the big guys. They're right too.

First, because these stocks will all need to be converted to cash, and that means selling them.

https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2021/01/the-gamestop-bubble-is-going-to-hurt-a-lot-of-ordinary-investors/

When the selloff starts, the price will plunge, because even if the stock was undervalued before, it's certainly overvalued now. Every bubble produces wealth for its early bettors who sell out to later players who lose everything when they can't find a sucker later on.

From Beanie Babies to subprime, bubbles burst and leave suckers holding the bag. If you just heard about meme stocks last week, you're too late to make money off of them.

There's another version of the "this isn't little guys, it's big whales" that's *also* true: the main beneficiary of the meme stock runs is giant funds who magnified and the bets from r/wallstreetbets and got out smart and fast.

https://twitter.com/zatapatique/status/1354904995901136896

So given all this, what can we make of calls (from parties as varied as AOC and Ted Cruz) to investigate Robinhood and other retail brokerages to see whether they're honest refs, or in the tank for billionaires?

At Naked Capitalism, Yves Smith calls this a "fatuous uproar," saying that the Senate has more important things to do during the racing-out-of-control pandemic than to investigate a literal penny-ante grift.

https://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2021/01/the-fatuous-uproar-about-robinhood-and-gamestop.html

Do we really care who the winner is in "a beauty contest between Cinderella’s ugly sisters" ("clueless new gen day traders versus clumsy shorts")?

Smith is right too.

A speculator-v-speculator contest that falls apart when the crooked ref halts play to prevent collapse - who cares who "wins?"

But here's how they can all be right - the "who cares" and the "goliath v goliath" and the "bubble" and the "Robinhood is a plutes' honeypot."

*If* there's hearings, and *if* those hearings expose the absurdity and corruption of the system, *then* there is a chance to build the political will to make real, systemic changes when the crisis comes.

And there's a real crisis coming: two, in fact. The covid junk bond financial crisis, which is due very soon, and the climate crisis stranded asset emergencies, which will unroll with increased tempo and intensity for decades to come.

The half-century cycle of "addressing" finance crises by increasing financialization MUST stop.

If the meme stock spectacle gets us to pay attention to hearings that reveal the irredeemable rot of the system, then it's a unique chance to spread *real* "financial literacy."

And that literacy is the necessary (but insufficient) precursor to taking action when the time comes - and the time is certainly coming soon.

#pluralistic

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