#i have 3 posts left of my part literally. get them out of my drafts. im READY

[katyawriteswhump]

the power of love, part 14

Sorry about Sunday's empty post ☹️ I must've accidentally put a draft template in my queue because I am basically tired and rubbish and life isn’t the greatest right now. Anyhow.... Whoops and really sorry again!

Alternate ending S4: Steve has a habit of surviving near death experiences then getting sick for no reason. And Eddie and those fatal bat bites? After an impossible feat of mouth-to-mouth resuscitation from Steve, he’s mysteriously fixed. So, Eddie’s back to being banished, this time with Steve and Robin in tow. Eddie’s healing, but Steve isn’t… and life gets even more confusing, when Eddie develops feelings for Steve, which aren’t entirely unrequited.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 15

(also on AO3 here and as part of my steve whump fic series)

Eddie POV

When neither Steve nor Robin show up after ten minutes, Eddie begins to freak out. 

He, Hopper and El are still waiting for the car, out of sight among some ferns. Hopper’s getting antsy, muttering beneath his breath, while Eddie’s wriggling like he’s got ants in his pants. Which he genuinely might have, though that’s not what’s bugging him:

“Uuuuh, shall I see what’s taking them so long?”

“You do that,” says Hopper. “What’s going on with that guy? He could barely stand! How the hell could he…”

Eddie tunes out, retracing their journey into the trees, calling Robin’s name then Steve’s. Maybe Steve passed out, and Robin got lost searching? Somehow, he doesn’t buy it. A heaviness slows his feet, and his guts twist sourly. 

They wouldn’t just ditch him. Surely? Surely!?! 

Fifteen minutes later, he winds up where he started: “They’re not back?” 

“What do you reckon?” Hopper’s breathing hard and red in the face. Evidently, he’s been running in circles like Eddie has.

“This is for you.” El nudges Eddie and presses a scrap of paper into his hand. “I think Steve left it.”

“What? Where?” Eddie’s stomach clamps tight again. 

Her eyes stretch very wide. “Fell out of your pack.”

Turning the note over in his hands, his fingers stiffen, as if shrinking from the task, bracing for… something. In the event, he gets a literal slap around the face.

“You make me sick,” Steve wrote.

Eddie’s skin burns with the blow. Wow! This is why I never have and never freakin’ will write love songs.

“What does he say?” demands Hopper.

Eddie scans the note one more time, scrunches it in his fist. “I’d hazard a guess he’s gone back to Hawkins.”

“Goddammit! Robin’s gone with him?”

“I think that’s a safe bet.” A wobble in the back of Eddie’s throat finds its way into his voice. Because, boy, is he still processing.

You make me sick. 

What does that even mean? To be fair, Eddie did make Steve sick. More than once. But why the heck write… that. Would suck less to be dumped without a word. 

Thanks for the overkill, man.

“Don’t you even think about scooting off,” growls Hopper. “Your uncle would never forgive me.” 

Oh yeah. Wayne. The only person who ever actually cared about him.

Eddie plonks his butt down on the ground and waits for the car.

…

Steve POV

“C’mon, giddy up,” says Steve. He and Robin make their way along the muddy bank of the stream towards home.

“Is this some kind of race?” she asks. “While I’d forgotten your former life as a douchebag jock, you’re doing a stunning job of reminding me, and… Uuuuugh!” 

“Jesus Christ, what’s wrong this time?” He spirals about, plants his hands on his hips—he’d ditched the sling a while ago. 

She scrubs madly at her lips. “I swallowed a bug! Ugh, ugh, ugh, mega-gross. Eeeeurgh!”

“Maybe if you weren’t complaining, like, constantly, there’d be less opportunities for bugs to get in.” 

“You shut up, shit-bird! I could die of malaria.” She spits into the stream. “Ew! EEEEEEEW!” 

“Ssssh! Hop said the military will be crawling everywhere soon, or—”

“Eddie might hear?” His heart heaves a loaded thud. She looks back sharply, purses her lips. “You know, he could be lost in the wilderness, all alone. Being hunted by evil army thugs. Or bears! Did you think of that when you sauntered off?”

“I did, yeah. I left him a message saying not to follow.” He shades his face from the afternoon sunlight, which shafts between the trees. Also, he can’t look her straight on and say this: “It was kinda brutal, I guess. It was for his own good, right?”

“Oh. Riiiight.”

“You done spewing insects?” he snaps.

“Still heavily grossed-out here. Gimme a minute, ’kay?” She plonks herself on a rock, crumpling forward.

He mops his brow, strips his sweater, and takes the opportunity to check in on his bat bites. They’re still sore, the bandages a bit bloody. Nothing too fresh, though. For the billionth time, his thoughts fly back to Eddie. He hopes Eddie doesn’t get hurt and need healing while they’re apart, and… Holy shit, will he ever see him again? He ties his sweater around his hips, trying to make fumbling hands look casual.

“Steve? You okay?”

“Other than the fact I’m modelling a ‘shoot-me-now-why don’t-you?’ Hellfire Club t-shirt,”—and that I want to punch myself in the face about that moronic note—“I’m good, Robin.”

“You know what? I don’t doubt it.” She brushes her flyaway hair from suspicious eyes. “You’ve gone from death’s door to super-human speed in, oh, I don’t know—feels to me that we’ve been marching for a week. I think it’s been barely an hour.”

“Yeah? We got a long way to go then.” He starts off along the stream’s edge, forcibly slowing his pace. He senses her puffing, panting, then following on his heels.

“Look, Steve, this water goddess who’s pulling you back, whispering in your ear—”

“I can’t actually tell if they’re male or female. Does that matter?”

“Not in the slightest. So, your water… deity. Have they, by any chance, enlightened you as to some kind of divine plan? Or told you exactly where you’re heading?” 

“I got an idea where I’m going, yeah.” To the second place he died, swept away on that blood-red tide—even now, he sees it in his head, like a few frames of a horror VHS stuck on eternal repeat. “Where’s the best place for army generals with dodgy agendas to hang out in Hawkins? There’s never been an army base, apart from—”

“You’re kidding me?” She grabs his elbow, jerking him back. “The Soviet tunnels?” He nods, and her obvious dread has her dropping him like a stone. “No way! I don’t think I can go anywhere near without a major panic attack."

“I’m not gonna march straight in.” He’s already wandering on. Trouble is, now he’s said the idea out loud, it’s become real and terrible. And he’s gotta pretend like his blood’s not congealing to ice. “I don’t know how I’m gonna get in anyhow. I mean, the Starcourt lift is buried under a ton of rubble. I think Hop might’ve know other ways—”

“Oooh, I got a great idea. Let’s go back and ask him.”

“Yeah, real subtle.”

“Steve!” She seizes him again, twisting him around with a furious force. “I know you want to help El, but what can you ACTUALLY DO?” He shrugs before he can stop himself. “Rain? Lightning? How does that benefit us—especially in underground tunnels? Plus you’ve had literally zero time for practice. If we don’t slow down and come up with a decent plan, this is tantamount to suicide.”

“We? Seriously, Robin, I…” His teeth clamp his lower lip. Any moment now, he’ll tell her how terrified he is, how he really, really doesn’t want to get tortured again, let alone die; how the idea of anything bad happening to her is as frightening as any of it. “I don’t think I have much choice.”

“Steve,” she says, gentler now, though her grip gouges into his flesh. “It’s screamingly obvious you’re not thinking straight. You’ve been ill for days and now you’re in a funk, beating yourself up over Eddie.”

He yanks himself free, glares. “That doesn’t make any dif—"

“Bullshit! Trust me, however ‘mean boy’ your literary masterpiece got, Eddie won’t want you to do anything this dumb. Oh, and your resident gender-fluid angel saved your life. They’re not gonna want you to sacrifice it pointlessly.”

He opens his mouth to argue, then shuts it again. He laughs—not a particularly happy laugh, but not totally miserable either. “You win,” he says, kinda sagging with relief. “You got a plan, smarty-pants?”

She laughs with him, equally edgy. “I say we go to Lover’s Lake, wait till it’s dark. If that’s too dangerous, we find some hidden pool where you can practise whatever badass moves you think you got. Hopefully without the puking. It’ll be a bit like Band Camp. But for Magic. Magic Camp. Okay?”

“You really aren’t gonna be happy until I’m a bigger nerd that any of… Shit!” 

He’s been considering hugging her. Instead, he seizes her sleeve, dragging her down into a deep, wet gully. They land with a splash, crouching low, close. She doesn’t complain, because she’s heard what he has.

The distant sound of barking dogs. Likely, army search dogs.

“Dog barks travel for miles, huh?” he whispers.

“Possibly.” She sucks in a scared breath. “One thing for sure—those sniffy wet snouts can pick up a human scent from the next county.”

“We’re in a stream, Robin. They can’t pick up our scent here, right?”

She crinkles her nose, dubious. “Dogs’ sense of smell is pretty amazing.”

“Yeah? Let’s hope this bunch caught colds or something.” 

He’s now the one clutching her way too tight, and he half-wishes he’d ditched her with a bitchy note too. Though, not quite. She smart; he needs her, and she’s really has gotten him thinking clearer: 

“We head for Lover’s Lake. C’mon.”

…

Eddie POV

When the sound of the car engine finally reaches his hearing, Eddie feels almost nothing.

“Don’t move.” Hopper pitches Eddie a forbidding look and grabs El, keeping them low behind the ferns. 

An owl hoots. Despite the hollowness in his chest, Eddie silently cracks up. Seriously? Top secret government goons can’t think of a better signal than me and Robin? 

Hopper’s grip slides to the firearm at his side. He rises slowly. “Over here.”

Peeping between the foliage, Eddie can make out a limo-style saloon with blacked-out windows. A severe-faced woman in lethal stilettos climbs out. “Chief Hopper, I presume? I apologise for the delay. O’Sullivan’s got men everywhere. We must leave right away.”

Hopper, nevertheless, remains stood well off the road with Eleven, not rushing for the car. And Eddie? 

You make me sick.

Steve’s made it simple for him. He should cut his losses and take this chance of escape. Wayne would want him to. Apart from… Eddie literally can’t. What was it that Steve said? Oh yeah. That he was being stretched in the wrong direction. Or something along those lines.

Yeah, I’m feelin’ it, Stevie. 

Nothing supernatural, nothing hinky. You kill me that bad, Babe—even after you turned meanie-King-Steve and dumped me. Oh, and went back to goddamn Mordor without me! 

Gonna trust you had your reasons, and I’m coming anyway.

He turns on his dirt-clotted heels and flees as fast as he can.

Part 15

...

tags: @estrellami-1 @kal-ology @finntheehumaneater (thank you, thank you, thank you!) If anybody else would like to be tagged on this fic or any of my writing, please let me know :) Reblogs, comments and likes also very much appreciated :) Thank you for reading so far :)

(also part of my steve whump fic series on AO3)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 15

#steddie #steve harrington #steddie fic #steve x eddie #steve harrington whump #steddie fanfic #eddie munson #stranger things fanfic #steve harrington x eddie munson #steddie fanfiction #stobin #platonic stobin #stobin friendship

[oldblog-ileft]

ive had concepts for this in my draft for a while but i finished some of it and i can finally post the sketches i made of grim and yuu

yes i know yuu looks like wednesday, i didn't realize until i'd actually watched it alsjhdg

basically i think people don't draw enough connections between the overblotting in twisted wonderland and the blot in epic mickey, the main villain's name is literally just blot, so i made an au inspired off the way blot seems to infect and spreads to the entirety of wasteland as opposed to just the characters like in twst

more details & text under the cut bc i know what i wrote by the sketches is probably unreadable <3

Overblot Apocalypse AU

In which overblotting is contagious and Twisted Wonderland suffers an outbreak prior to Yuu's arrival, leading to the mirror to summon someone from a magicless world in hopes of finding someone immune to blot. Yuu just happens to be the unlucky one that was chosen at random.

The magic mirror has been destroyed in the chaos that overtook the outbreak during its early stages, it's nothing but shards now with very little magic. It used what it had left to summon Yuu in hopes of ending the outbreak. It was never something that would be confirmed to help, more of a "hope for a miracle" kind of risk, as the mirror didn't know if whoever they brought would truly be immune.

Now, the magic mirror is wrapped in cloth and kept in Yuu's pocket. It essentially acts as a sort of sentient smartphone, communicating with Yuu regularly and helping them survive this new world such as explaining foods, environments, etc.

There is nothing special or particularly noteworthy about Yuu. They remain magicless with no special abilites. They weren't chosen for a higher reason or to fulfill some kind of ancient prophecy, they're just a kid that got the short end of the stick and got isekai'd to Twisted Wonderland because the magic mirror got desperate.

Overblot spreads by connecting to others via negative emotions and magic fatique. The main emotion witnessed is fear but those like Riddle and Leona were infected through their anger.

Grim managed to evade overblotting because at this point in time he does not have a magestone that helps him concentrate magic so he doesn't use it often enough to get infected and his catlike tendencies make him nimble and hard for any blot to reach him. However, he still has had run ins with those that have overblotted, such as Riddle, who ended up taking part of his tail when he attacked Grim.

NRC is easily the most dangerous area in Twisted Wonderland simply because of the sheer amount of overblots roaming its grounds. Which kind of sucks, because that's where Yuu is originally summoned. They steal a bunch of stuff like a baseball bat and hightail it out as soon as they can.

Same as canon, Yuu is able to end someone's overblot if they can wear them down enough. They're typically the only one that gets close to actually hit someone because they're the only one safe from infection, this often results in scars, but Grim and other allies such as Ace and Deuce definitely heavy hit with magic from a distance.

i have a lot more for this in my drafts such as details on the housewardens and other characters but i'm still working on finalizing those akjsdv

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst yuu #twst grim #overblot apocalypse au #painting the roses red

[strapinandstraponyourstrapons]

puppy pack || thiam centric || completed || 5 chapters || 11k words || fluff and humor and a smidge of angst with a happy ending

summary:

Brett hosts a house party for the Puppy Pack. Liam and Theo get their clothes all wet.

---

“Whatever happened to all your brain cells, anyway?” Theo continues.

“My dad beat them out of me,” Liam answers without hesitation, several seconds before his brain-to-mouth filter in its current intoxicated state can keep up.

holy shit i finally finished this gargantuan (by my standards anyway) monstrosity. the first chapter is up!! and the rest is coming over the next few weeks.

this fic is pre-relationship because, although there’s a lot of cute thiam scenes (i hope), they are drunk, so i didn’t want to make them do anything too crazy. also this fic is kind of written so you can imagine slotting it in somewhere in a larger, slowest-of-slow-burns, overarching thiam story, so it’s not the right timing in my mind for them to get together just yet. this fic would be like a b-plot to an episode somewhere towards the end of the theoretical 7a that i like to imagine, intercut with scott and the older pack members Doing Plot Things like a bunch of losers.

if you want to know what sort of ride you’re getting into, this fic is mostly fluff and humour, just a happy little snapshot of the puppy pack being stupid kids and having fun. we take a brief dip into angst for chapters 3 & 4 but it has a happy ending and the angstiness doesn’t outweigh the shenaniganness too much imo. i wrote it to feel like some of the drinking experiences i have had as a youth, so hopefully it’s an authentic mix of dumbassery in a good way and dumbassery in an oh-my-god-you-could-have-died way. 

this fic is dedicated to

@thiamsxbitch for leaving a lovely comment on “i lost my heart under the bridge” a few weeks ago that got me thinking about writing again, and for encouraging me all throughout, inspiring me with her own writing, validating my choice to post it in chapters even though the poll said no, being a lovely ray of sunshine, and making this fandom a more welcoming place🖤

@pearlspouch for  gifting me a work that i decided to link this one to very slightly… it doesn't line up perfectly but at one point i mention liam and mason making a bet about skirts. if you want to know how that goes, you should read “You Look My Way And I Lose My Breath” by issawhatevah on ao3!!! i absolutely adore it, and it’s a brilliant read especially if you’re unsatisfied with thiam not (officially, anyway) getting together at the end of this. thanks again to sina for being an absolute legend🖤

@nuxmediocre for saying she would read this fic if i left it with its draft title (“weredickheads part four: why are you buying clothes at the soup store”). i did end up with a proper title, but i was just glad that someone appreciated my sense of humour, so thanks for that🖤

and to my real life friend and housemate who drank too much on the day i had literally just started planning to write this idea, for giving me first hand experience about dealing with someone who’s so sick from alcohol that you consider calling an ambulance. glad you survived bud, and your sacrifice contributed so much to gay fanfiction🙏

if you subject yourself to reading this, please leave me a comment with your thoughts and i will be eternally grateful🔥🖤🔥 tell me a song or songs that you think the puppy pack would absolutely thrive to (no, we do not care that it’s supposed to be 2014 in the timeline so don’t worry about that)

#teen wolf #thiam #thiam fanfic #theo raeken #liam dunbar #puppy pack #brett talbot #nolan holloway #mason hewitt #corey bryant #hayden romero #gwen teen wolf #alec teen wolf #lori rohr #it's almost 3am sheesh

[thunderous-wolf]

Drunk Dazed

Installment 2 of my series of "Thoughtz"

Note: "Thoughtz" is a compilation of

drafts of fanfic that l've had in my notes

for a while. They're unedited and most are

unfinished. Since I do not feel motivated

enough to finish them, I'm posting them

all for you to read. Enjoy~

Greyscale

Part 3 of 3

Pairing: Bangchan x fem!reader

Plot: You find yourself in a strange world...

Warnings: its supposed to be a little confusing, violence, guns and shooting, tazers, death, really bad jokes

a/n: This was a goofy project inspired by

a friend that consists of three separate

stories tied together. Just like a dream.

they don't have a clear plot and are

strictly for fun.

Please DO NOT copy, translate or steal

my works.

Part 1 // Part 2

You rushed to the edge of the stage - however, it had other plans for you. The curtains were being drawn, and at their speed, there was no way you'd beat them. You collided (gracefully) into the billowing curtains. Even though they were movable, they did not let you pass to the audience. Instead, it pushed you towards upstage.

The spotlight was no longer fixed on the table, but instead, a door. You recognized it. It was the steel door that you encountered in the beginning of this mess. Perhaps it would lead you home?

You reached out for the handle of the door. This was the third and hopefully final door of your adventure. A pensive feeling crept over you as you grabbed the handle. As expected, it was cold to the touch. You twisted it and tried to pull open the door. However, it required more strength than you thought. You tried again and were successful, except the force of the door closing was greater than yours. With this, you were thrown (quite literally) into your new surroundings.

You found yourself in a hallway. The hallway outstretched a little ways to both your left and right. It was stark white just like the door, and reeked of cleaner used to thoroughly clean something. By the pungentness of the smell you could tell they had to use the cleaner several times. Just what exactly did they need to clean so often?

In front of you was a door slightly ajar. You could hear a harsh conversation coming from within. With nothing else to do, you decided to eavesdrop.

"You lost the files?!" A commanding male voice rang out.

"I'm sorry sir, he just appeared out of nowhere and caught me off guard! I-It won't happen again - I swear!" A younger sounding voice spoke.

"You're right, it won't happen again. Because you won't get the chance to."

BANG

You gasped when you heard the gunshot sound. After hearing the thud of presumably a body hitting the ground, you didn't think before you ran. You didn't care if they heard your footsteps echoing down the hallway. As long as you were far enough away...

As you rounded the corner to the next hallway, you heard a door slam open and many footsteps ascend into the previous hallway. Ahead of you was a big red exit sign. Through the small window on the door, you saw a small balcony similar to one on an old brick apartment. Knowing it was your only chance of escape, you ran to the door and didn't hesitate to go through it.

Thick city air met your lungs as soon as you were outside. You were standing on a balcony that went in three directions stretching over an old apartment complex in what seemed like an abandoned city. There was a path to your left that went on for a little bit until it changed into a stairs that climbed up the building onto another level. Another path continued straight ahead of you across a parking lot and to another old apartment complex. The path to your right kept on going until the end of the building where it suddenly ended. It looked like something crashed into the side of the building and ripped the end of the metal balcony clean off. There was a good 50ft drop from the rail to the ground, so it would be a bad idea to fall.

Abruptly, you were reminded of the dire situation. Mindlessly, your feet began to run in whatever direction you were facing - which happened to be towards the right. There was no time to turn around, as the men from earlier would surely catch you. You took a big breath, nearing the end of the balcony, and hoped you would land on something, anything. You got ready to jump, when suddenly an arm grabbed you. You were pulled by a firm hand on the small of your back into something warm.

Opening your eyes, you see that you're pulled flush against a man's chest. Looking up, you see a familiar face once again.

"Where do you think you're going, Agent y/n?" He said in a hushed voice. His small dimpled grin drew in your focus like a magnet - which was a good thing, because if you remembered how close you were to him you would have definitely had a heart attack. Before you could respond - though, you didn't know what you'd say if you did - the door to the balcony was abruptly opened and out rushed several armed men.

From where you were, they could not see you. You were hidden behind a large pillar-like thing that jotted out two feet and hid you from view. You were standing on a small ledge that wrapped around the building. It seemed as if these buildings were old enough that the ledge could crumble, but that was lower on the list of things running through your mind.

"Where'd she go? Spread out and search for her! You. Go that way. You three check the ledge and see if she jumped. The rest of you with me to the main building! We can't let her escape!" An authoritative voice said from not too far away.

You held your breath as the footsteps got closer. They wouldn't notice you if they just looked from the edge of the rail. But if they peeked around the overhang...

"I don't see any evidence of her jumping. There's nothing for her to land on, and a fall would kill her from this height."

"Let's go back and search the area."

At that they turned around and went back towards the center balcony. The breath you'd been holding that time was finally released. You looked up at the man with you. You were still trapped in his grasp, and with his muscles, there's no way you could wriggle free without falling. He noticed you staring and smiled.

"Hey, the time for ogling is later. We need to get outta here." He said playfully. He then let you adjust over to the right of him so he could lead the way out - which happened to be continuing on to the next side of the building. Thankfully, the ledge was two feet wide so you didn't have to worry too bad about falling. "Follow me."

Still rather shaken from your previous proximity to him, you wordlessly follow his lead. He was moving quite fast for being so high up in the air, but then again, he did talk to you like you were an agent of some sort... Agent or not, you had to catch up. He had already rounding the corner of the building.

Vzzzzzzzzzz- Pk!

After carefully climbing around the corner, you see that he had shot something between a zip line and grappling hook across the empty highway and to the lowest level of the building across from us. He was hooking on a handle when a bunch of enemy recruits appeared on the other side of the building.

"There they are! Seize them and get the files at all costs!" The one in front said. At this, an onslaught of people came charging at you. This would have been easy if you actually were an agent, but obviously you're not, and without a gun you had nothing to do but stay out of your fellow agent's way. Which wasn't a problem because he was handling himself perfectly fine. He was taking on the goons like he's done it since birth, his agile movements making it look all too easy.

It was all going smoothly until you noticed a shadow coming from above you. On the rooftop was a hit man holding a very expensive looking gun that was aimed right at your partner. There was no way he'd notice as he was focused on the fight infront of him. You had to do something.

"HEY! There's a guy up there aiming a gun at you!" You yelled. But your efforts were in vain. He didn't hear you over the shouting of the goons and remained where he was. You closed your eyes and hoped he would somehow move from the bullet's path.

BOOM!

Klunk

A piece of metal falls by your feet and startles you from your terrified stance. Peeking your eyes open, your heart skips a beat when you find that your partner is still very much alive and well. You gazed back up at where the hit man was and see that he's doubled over on the edge of the building, a bullet hole in him instead of your partner. At your feet lay his gun, a little dented, but probably still working. You pick it up in hopes that you could use it to help your friend.

"Don't fire it, it has a defense mechanism. Hand it to me, quickly!" He said suddenly. You had no clue how he knew what you were doing, but you did as he asked and handed him the gun. He took it and used it to shove the next few ruffians, making them topple into each other. He then pushed a button on the gun and backed away. Immediately, the gun sent out massive electrical charges that electrocuted the pile, since they were all wearing something metal.

Smirking, your partner turned to you.

"They gotta taste of their own medicine, yeah?" He remarked more to himself than you. "That should take care of them for a little while." Then he turned to face the street. "Nice shot, but you could've been quicker!" He yelled.

"Well, I was gonna say a sniper joke, but it was a long shot and I don't think it would hit the target audience." A familiar voice responded from across the street. You looked to your partner to confirm that you weren't imagining things and he wasn't actually talking to a building. With an eye roll, he looked back at you and pointed to a window. Squinting, you could see a silhouette leaning against the window frame.

"That's Agent Chaconne. Once you get over to the other side of the street, she'll give you the chip reader."

You glanced back at the figure in the window, then at your partner- who was motioning you to get on the zip line and get a move on it. For some reason, you felt that you could trust your new ally. You reluctantly grabbed the handle of the zip line and zoomed across the desolate street.

It was kind of fun zooming above the road. Besides the fact that there are who knows how many people out there trying to kill you, this was pretty enjoyable. You were almost at the end when a bullet flew by your head, ruining the mood. You began to freak out when you realized you were a sitting duck while on the zip line. You frantically looked around to try to see what's going on. Your partners were already a step ahead of you. One was already countering the new wage of goons, while the other was shooting like no one's business, sniper shots whizzing around you.

You finally made it to the end zip point and let go of the handle. You landed by the entrance of an alleyway. You quickly ran around the corner of the nearest building to cover yourself from fire. Supposedly, Agent Chaconne was going to find you and get the chip reader. Seeing as she was quite busy currently, you didn't expect that to happen anytime soon. You crouched in your hiding spot and decided to wait for her to find you.

It was hard to hear over the constant shooting. So much so that you didn't notice someone approaching you until he was 30ft away from you. Realizing this, you got up and ran down the alley. He was faster than you though, and it wouldn't be long until he caught you. Nonetheless, you kept running.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see something moving on the metal stairs above you. You see a brief flash of light reflect off the brick walls and glance back to see what it was. The man chasing you earlier was laying face first on the ground. Agent Chaconne was standing a little ways behind him holding a fancy looking tazer gun.

"Guess he found that one shocking, eh?" She quipped. Seeing that you didn't find her joke very funny and were more terrified than anything she swiftly changed subject. "I'm sure he already told you, but I'm Agent Chaconne." She said as she pulled down her mask to show you her face. A wave of realization hit you - it was Lisha! That's why she seemed so familiar. "Here's the chip reader. Don't break it, it's the only one I brought." She extended her hand to reveal said object. You grabbed it and stuffed it in your pocket.

"What do I do with these?" You asked, motioning to the two items given to you.

"If you go down the alleyway a little ways, there should be a narrow offshoot ally to your right. It's not very long, and at the end there's a door to a passageway. Go through that door. After that, you'll be able to figure it out."

Figure it out?! What did that mean? Before you could ask, she was already telling you to go. You had one question that needed answered though. What about your male partner? Was he coming with? Lisha seemed to know what you were thinking as you looked back to the building you once stood on. He was still fighting people up there, seemingly never growing tired.

"He'll be joining us shortly. He's just-"

"HE CUT THE ROPE!" You exclaimed. The zip line that once stretched across the street was now sagging on the ground.

*sigh* "That man. Always wants to leave with a BANG." She said, chuckling to herself at some sort of inside joke. You didn't quite find it funny how he was gonna get himself killed.

"He's gonna DIE?!" You anxiously shrieked. This, she seemed to find even funnier than her previous joke.

"Pffffft! Die? No, he's too stubborn for that. Now get a move on it, before someone else finds you." She said with sudden authority. Seeing your hesitancy, she added, "Don't worry, I'll watch after him. He won't die as long as I have something to say about it."

You then reluctantly turned around and headed towards the end of the alleyway. Surely enough there was indeed a side ally. Just as you start to turn down the ally, you hear a loud boom and a bunch of old cement crumbling to the ground. Out of the corner of your eye, you see part of a building fall down. You decide to keep going, even though your heart wanted to turn back to make sure everyone's alright. You reach for the doorhandle, feeling a bit of deja vu once again. You pull open the door and hear an agitated "CHRI-" in the background. But the word was never finished before you were sucked inside the door.

You startled from your slumber and found yourself now back in your beloved house. Had that all just been a dream? It all had felt so real, the adrenaline running through your veins and the wind in your hair. Was that man all just a vision in your head too?

THE END

#stray kids #thoughtz #bang chan #bangchan #stray kids bang chan #stray kids chan imagines #skz bang chan #skz bangchan #skz #stray kids x reader #skz x reader

[mageofseven]

MC Asks the Brothers for Another Baby (Part 3)

This has been in my drafts for a while now. It already had a chunk of it done so I decided to finish it. Plus, I always enjoyed writing these baby posts lol

Anyway!

Part three for Beel and Belphie! Part one and two can be found here and here.

Once again, I aim to answer these questions with the post:

How likely is it that each brother would be willing to give MC another baby if she asked, especially since the first time was so dangerous?

How well do they handle the second pregnancy and are they any more prepared physically, mentally, or emotionally for it?

How their kids react to their Mama being pregnant and how they feel about getting a new brother or sister?

•▪︎▪︎◇°●♡●°◇▪︎▪︎•

Beelzebub:

Okay, with these two, the question wasn't whether they should have another child or not, but rather, when.

Beel and MC have honestly been talking on and off since their twins were born about having more kids.

Beely is very much a family man with a lot of love to give; he doesn't wanna stop at just two kids. If MC didn't want anymore kids, he would have been extremely disappointed, but still accept her decision.

Luckily, MC is just as excited at the prospect of having more kids so the couple has been on the same page since Day One.

So why has the couple waited three years to add to their family? Simple. They were debating how they wanted to add to it.

Both of them agreed that they should avoid getting MC pregnant again; I mean, she did almost die last time.

MC brought up all of the other methods from Human realm that they could try, notably surrogacy and adoption.

It took three years to go think through and search out to see if they could make either method possible.

Surrogacy got ruled out rather quickly. It wasn't really something known about in the Devildom and honestly, it'd be too risky to trust another demon to carry their child because children are a very precious resource in their realm. Fertility rates are very low because of a demon's long life span so demon children are very rare and treasured greatly.

And obviously, the couple couldn't even humor the idea of a human doing it for them. After what MC went through, how could they wish it on another human?

Because of this, the two were very focused on the idea of adopting and explored this possibility very thoroughly.

This was another method not available in the Devildom; again, children are a rare treasure in this realm, one that demons have a long history of literally killing for. Demons generally don't care too much about bloodlines and genes, but adding to their family's power and passing down beliefs? Historically, it's always been very important in demonic culture.

Though when I say not available, I mean not by MC and Beel's morals. Yes, it's culturally acceptable in the Devildom to kidnap children and do whatevers necessary to 'win' them, but that's just so fucked up and overall, not something the couple would be okay with.

That left the two with adopting a human child instead a demon one. The couple spent a while going back and forth with Lucifer and Diavolo, trying to see if such a thing was possible, but it was essentially a game of 'we'll see'.

The cultural exchange has opened up a lot opportunities between realms, especially between the Devildom and the Human realm, but to the degree of the humans trusting them to raise their children? Not quite, especially since the exchange is still considered highly controversial by both demons and humans a like.

Essentially, three years of waiting cause the two of them to become a little antsy. Not just them, but their daughters too.

Though MC and Beel never directly told their girls that they were looking to have a child added to the family, the girls have to still heard many conversations between their parents over the years.

It's okay though because their girls are just excited! Like seriously, you know those car situations where kids are asking like a thousand times, "Are we there yet?"

That's essentially the situation with the girls and their potential baby sibling.

"Are we having a baby now? Why not?"

And yes, the twins say 'we'. This potential baby has kinda become a family project and it's honestly kinda cute to think about.

The parents aren't even annoyed by the daily questioning. In fact, it warms their heart to know that they are all in agreement for this as a family, especially Beel's.

Their daughters' loving impatience was part of why the couple gave in; obviously, they were not gonna be able to adopt anytime soon (though the two agreed that if the opportunity ever arises, they will 100% adopt a child regardless of how many they have at time)

So the two sat down and talked about...well, making their own. They knew the risk and originally wanted to avoid pregnancy because of it, but the wait along with their daughters' enthusiasm just broke their hearts everyday. The longer they went without a third child, the more it hurt their hearts and took up space in their minds.

MC was the one would brought it up. As much as Beel wanted more kids, he would have never asked his Muffin to go through something so dangerous a second time for him. Since she asked for it though...well, that made it easier.

Beel still had his worries though, which he talked through with MC. Even outside of all of his love and concern for her, there was still the girls. How would Arsi and Anais feel, watching a baby starve their Mama over the months just like they did? And...what if, Devil forbid it...what if she died this time. The first time, it was just Beel who have been destroyed if MC died, but now...now the girls would be crushed as well.

Beel just feels so complicated, stuck between his strong protectiveness of his girlfriend and kids and his (as well as MC and the girls') strong desire to add to their family.

Likelihood of him agreeing: (a guilty) 89%

If yes:

Pretty much no 'if'. It's definitely a yes.

It's a guilty yes though because he worries...is he being selfish by agreeing to this? He keeps telling himself that it isn't because all three of his girls want this so much, but he can't help feeling like he should of been strong and said no for MC's safety.

Big Guy feels so conflicted 😔

But he loves MC and the twins more than his own life and the very moment he found out MC was pregnant again, that same powerful love extended to this new baby.

It helped a lot to see how excited the girls were at the news. Anais was so hyped up about it that her parents couldn't understand her for a full minute because she was talking so fast.

Arsi was much calmer, but her smile never left her face for the rest of the day and was scarcely gone during the week.

MC her was so happy she cried. Beel kissed her and held her tight as she smiled through the tears.

All the while she kept telling him over and over that it's finally happening.

This pushed away a lot of the guilt he held inside him because how could something that makes his Muffin this happy be the wrong decision?

Not to mention that even he cried a few happy tears. I mean, he's having another child with the woman he loves. What could be more perfect than that?

For a while, it seemed like nothing could make this family happier than this baby made them.

There was some anxiety between the couple when MC's appetite started to pick up though.

All Beel could think about was when his Muffin was pregnant the first time and just how starved she looked. Sunken cheeks, all flesh and bones...

Hell, MC lost weight back when she was pregnant with the twins and that's not how it should be.

After discussing his concern with Lucifer, the two managed to get MC on an IV drip to consistently push water and nutrients into her body.

Yes, the human still ate an ungodly amount of food like last time, but unlike before, she didn't look like she was at Death's Door for the majority of the pregnancy.

Obviously, it was uncomfortable having a needle in her arm for months on end, but MC was grateful that her daughters didn't have to see her like she was before.

The couple decided to keep the gender of the baby a secret, even from themselves.

Satan, being the one who periodically checked up MC with his spells, was the only one who knew the baby's gender and it was only through him that the couple knew for sure that it was only a single baby this time around.

Beel wasn't disappointed though. Yes, this man would have loved it if they were to have more twins, but what matter to him right now was that they were having a new baby at all

And he already loved this child so much that his heart was practically bursting with it.

Because of the secrecy with the gender, the girls would argue about what the gender would be.

It was done in a playful way though so their parents actual enjoyed listening to their banter.

Arsi wanted a baby brother, but Anais said boys (others than Daddy) are stinky and that a sister would be better.

Well after being pregnant for nine months and six days, MC gave birth to a baby boy.

Sorry Anais, I guess you have a stinky baby brother now~

Still, everyone is happy and loves this new baby so much

And now MC and Beel have three children that they love more than anything in the three realms

Arsenia, Anais, and...

Amias~

Belphegor:

Ok so...Belphie is complicated one, to say the least

This man never used to like kids, not after having to deal with Satan as one

So when MC was pregnant with their twins, this man was not the least bit thrilled.

It really, really took time for him to adjust to being a dad

But he grew to love Judas and Lilith more than his own life.

I mean, he still can't stand other kids, but his are the best.

Despite his love for them, this man was right about one thing: kids are exhausting.

The Avatar of Sloth was tired enough without those two little gremlins (which he calls them affectionately)

But with them? Parenting takes a lot out of him.

Still, Belphie has no regrets. His kids mean everything to him.

Hell, he doesn't even want to imagine life without them.

Things are going good for the little family

And when things go good, MC can't help but to let her mind wander...

And her heart hope that...maybe they could have just one more?

Honestly though, the human was too worried to even talk about it with their boyfriend.

It took a long time to get things to settle for their family

And MC...she was scared that if she so much as uttered her question aloud, the peace and happiness the two of them have built would come crashing down.

Could she really test her luck like that?

She fretted over this for weeks.

Belphie could tell something was up and repeatedly ask her what was wrong.

All she did was wave away the question, give an excuse, or even avoid answering all together

And there was only so much of this that the seventh brother could take.

"How am I suppose to fix it if you don't talk to me?"

The twins were out getting ice cream with their Uncle Beel so the couple could talk in private.

"Belphie...I dunno, okay?"

The human still wasn't sure if she should risk it and the last thing she wanted was her boyfriend interrogating her about it.

"I can tell something's bothering you, Butthead."

Silence.

The demon sighed and plopped down on the bed before taking her arm and leading her to his side.

"Just talk to me."

And just liked that, it occurred to her that they were in the exact same spot they were over three years ago

And the women was afraid of things repeating.

She remember back when she and Beel were here in the attic, telling Belphie about her pregnancy

And how that didn't end well.

Would he be mad like he was that day? Would he tear her down for even asking for something he never even wanted before?

"MC..."

The human didn't realize it before, but she was crying

And Belphie was now wiping each tear off her cheeks with his sleeve.

The tears came faster

And so did his lips.

The demon kissed his girlfriend, keeping his forehead pressed to hers for moment.

After the kiss, MC slowly grabbed his hand and just stared at it for a long minute.

"I want another baby..." She whispered. "But I don't want to upset you."

The man froze, just staring at his human.

She's crying...about this? She's really that scared about upsetting him?

That's when all of his sins towards her came back to choke him.

Belphie felt like he's made so many fuck ups when it comes to her.

MC remembered this room as the one where she told Belphie she was pregnant

But Belphie remembers it as the room where he stole her life from her, all those years ago, just for being human.

If it wasn't for Barbatos, he...everything he loves about his life wouldn't exist and instead he would still be just a miserable, resentful man grieving his sister.

MC brought him closure. But she also brought him love and perspective and two kids that he never knew he needed till they were thrusted upon him.

Though MC (strangely enough) seems to have forgotten what he did to her most days, Belphie never has and that incident has been the driving force to make it up to her, if such a thing is even possible.

Yet he still fucked up. The night she told him she was pregnant, he screamed at her, told her shouldn't have their twins, told her she would only die again.

But he's been working on things so hard, both during her pregnancy and since the twins were born.

The demon though he was doing ok, doing better. If MC's this afraid to talk to him though...how could he actually be any better than before?

"Belphie?" He felt her squeeze his hand as she said his name.

"I'll always be a fuck up, won't I?"

He pulled away from her, his back to her now.

"I--no! Belphie--"

"You've been worried about asking me this because you think I'd act the same as before...even though I've tried to be better."

The man was depressed. I mean, he's been depressed for a long time, but in this moment, it was really hitting him hard.

Silence hung in the air, one just as potent to the couple as Belphie's miasma powers. It was filled with so much pain and confusion on both sides; Belphie wanted to know how to be better and MC wanted to know how to soothe his heavy heart.

Wordlessly, MC leans in and hugs her boyfriend from behind, laying her cheek against his back.

"They...my people have a saying, 'All good things must come to an end'. I just...I just don't want everything we have to be one of those things, ya know?"

Belphie closed his eyes. He...he had the same fear. I mean, he once lost everything that made him happy in life. Since starting his new life in the Devildom, he always felt like anything good in front of him would shatter just like before. Her fear...he shared it.

What does a person do when they want to keep good things? Do they continue to search for more good to add to their life or accept well-enough and hope nothing falls through the cracks? Or do you pray to some deity, god or devil, to keep life worth living?

He didn't know...but he knew one thing.

The demon turned around and kissed his girlfriend. Unlike last time, however, MC found herself laying on the bed with Belphie over her.

After the kiss, Belphie just stared down at his human, causing her to blush.

"B-Belphie?"

"Let's have another baby then."

All Belphie knew is that he wanted to make her happy--no. He needed to make MC happy

So if having a third kid does that then he needs to do it, for her.

Just as Belphie leaned down to kiss her again, the couple heard a shout.

"Daaaaaaaaadddddyyy!" Lilith called from the bottom of the stairs. "I gotchu mint chocolate!!!!!"

"Don't yell so loud." Judas scolded her before calling for MC. "But uhh I picked devils n' cream for ya, Ma!"

Welp. No baby-making was gonna happen now.

Likelihood? Well I've written this like it's definite thing, but in truth, I simply wrote more detail in the best scenario. Belphie could easily fall on his old ways and be hurtful to MC before he realizes. I wanted to write him in a way that shows more growth though. In truth, this would be a more 50/50 for Belphie.

If yes:

The heavy atmosphere between them, though doesn't completely go away, gets mixed with some positivity.

Though its not easy to find alone time when you have twins, when the couple managed it, it was nice.

The two had forgotten what it was like to just be the two of them

Which is kinda sad in a way, but the trade off was worth.

Still, the couple now had plenty of 'fun' together

So it didn't take long for MC to wind up pregnant

And unlike last time, Belphie took care of her every step of the way.

Telling the twins about the baby was...an interesting experience to say the least.

When they told the kids, they were essentially like 'why?', but seemed neither upset nor excited for the baby.

Lilith's words "That's weird." essentially summed up their mostly indifferent mindset

And in truth, the parents found it almost funny.

From there on, Lilith was pretty whiny because her dad didn't always have time to play with her; he had to take care of MC after all.

Judas was extra clingy with his mom, always needing to stay by her side. He just wanted to take care of her just like his Daddy did

And when this pregnancy made her just as exhausted as the last, she needed the extra help.

Everything was good. It was definitely an adjustment, especially for Lilith, but the little family was happy

And luckily, MC didn't fall into a coma this time.

During the last pregnancy, she fell into occasionally comas because of stress.

This time, her relationship with Belphie was much and she had the sweet support of her kids. This made this second pregnancy much easier on her.

Still, her mind was almost always foggy so it wasn't safe for MC to do any cooking or really be left alone. There have even been a few times that the tired human almost fell down the stairs because of her mental fog.

The first time that happen, the only reason the woman didn't tumble down the stairs was because Judas was with her and her son reacted quickly enough to pull her back by her arms.

The pregnant woman landed her butt and it remained sore for the rest of the day, but it was a hell of a better outcome then sliding belly-first down the stairs.

Both Belphie and Judas hovered over her a lot after that.

Overall, this pregnancy was nearly as bad as the last though.

When MC started to go into labor, she was actually in denial.

She had only just entered her 8th month; the contractions had to be fake.

But they weren't; they kept getting worse and woman was honestly freaking out.

Belphie stayed with her and eventually asked Beel to send Satan their way.

Satan used his magick to check on the baby and, more than anything, give MC some peace of mind. Belphie too.

The sloth demon didn't actually think anything was wrong. I mean, the twins came a bit early too and they were find.

That's what was stuck in his mind though. Their twins were early.

So...did that mean--

Satan was trying to repress a smile.

"What? Is the baby okay?" MC practically begged.

The fourth brother nodded.

"They've both developed enough so they should be fine."

"Both?"

Oh dear devil. Twins? Twins again?

Belphie started laughing, as if he heard the best joke of his life.

"B-Belphie?" MC stared at her boyfriend, worried that the new just broke him.

'I'll never sleep again.' He thought, humorous disbelief on his face.

Instead of speaking this, the man just leaned down and kissed the human's forehead.

"They're fine. It's fine. So you don't need to worry, okay?"

Satan grabbed his tome and started heading towards the door, but not before leaning towards the 7th brother's ear.

"You have some luck." The blonde whispered with a smirked.

"Shut up." The dark haired brother elbowed him before the other continued towards the door and left the couple alone.

Belphie turned back to MC and found her staring.

"Belphie...are you really okay with this?"

The man huffed and joined his girlfriend on the bed.

He pulled her into his arms.

"I told you; you have nothing to worry about, Butthead."

If truth, the demon could see the humor in this. He, the Avatar of Sloth, the man who once couldn't stand being around any child, is about have not one but two sets of twins; four kids in total.

If he was the same man as he was before Judas and Lilith were born, this new would have set him off, made him think that all this world wants to do is punish him.

Now...well, the whole reason these kids are here is that he wanted to make his girlfriend happy. A second one doesn't change that.

No matter how much work it will be (and this man knew it would be a lot), Belphie knew it would be worth it; he knew he would love these kids just as much as he loves Judas and Lilith.

Beel had been trying to keep the kids occupied, but as more and more time went on, the kids (especially Judas), kept trying to slip into the room.

Eventually, the parents decided to let their kids into the room. Judas was incredibly antsy, wanting to make sure his mama was okay.

Obviously, the kids couldn't be in the room for the birth, but they got to keep their mama company for a while.

Despite MC's worry, the birth went without issue

And eventually, she was graced with two little boys in her arms, Cain and Abel.

Belphie could only stare at the three of them at first

"Belphie..."

That when he noticed MC crying. Only then did he notice that he was crying too.

MC was happy and Belphie was happy that she was happy. Yeah, he definitely got more than he bargained for with them having another set of twins, but still, he had hope for the future, probably more than he ever has.

Belphie felt like the six of them will be happy. Himself, MC, Cain, Abel, Judas, Lilith...he felt like they all had a good life ahead of them

And he was going to be the best dad and boyfriend he could be.

#obey me #obey me otome #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me mc #obey me pregnant mc #obey me next gen

[favefandomimagines]

Sometimes You Just Need Somebody (e.b)

Summary: Everyone had someone at the 118, a place to go, a partner to go home to. And it makes Buck begin to wonder; who’s his somebody?

AN: inspired by the season 3 episode where he meets Red because it’s probably one of my favorite Buck moments

I’m so sorry I’ve been so absent, my personal life kind of imploded for a little bit lol but it is starting to get better. I’ll be working on part 2 of my Ace fic ‘I’m Here’ and chapter 4 of my Tommy Shelby series! This was in the drafts and i felt like i needed to post something.

Buck was coming off a large high after saving a woman from a burning building. He was the city’s hero and all he wanted to do was celebrate with his 118 family. Though sometimes he forgets that they have wives, girlfriends, children, and he doesn’t. The only person he really has is himself.

He had you though. His best friend, person who knows him almost as much as Maddie. It was the cheesiest and most cliche story in the book, but Buck was in love with his best friend. He met you on a call during the earthquake two years ago. You flagged them down because your dog was trapped in your house still when the earthquake hit.

Never has he seen a woman run out into the middle of the street and in front of a fire engine for a dog. Buck and the rest of the team exchanged glances before Buck got out of the truck. You were in hysterics, explaining how your St. Bernard was stuck on the second floor of your home and the stairs were blocked off.

The 118 was on the way back to the firehouse to refuel, Buck thought you were pretty, so he helped you. Two weeks later you and your dog ran into him while on a walk on one of his days off. The rest was history.

So when he was left alone to celebrate his victory, the first person he thought of was you. You probably watched it on the news and waited for his shift to end to call.

And like clockwork, the second he stepped out of the building, his phone rang. He saw your name and picture pop up on his screen and smile made its way to his face.

“Hello?” He answered. “Oh my god! I knew you were good but I didn’t know you were a freaking action hero!” You spoke loudly into the phone. “Well it’s good to hear your voice too.” He teased.

“That was literally something out of Mission Impossible. It was amazing! Reckless and terrifying, but amazing nonetheless.” You said. “Thank you, thank you. It felt really good to save her.” Buck replied. “How about we go and celebrate tonight?” You suggested.

Buck’s smile widened at your words, it’s as if you read his mind. And though he wanted to go out with you, a part of him wanted to live that domestic bliss that everyone else around him had.

“Or, I could come over with some takeout and we can have a night in.” He said. “That sounds even better. I gotta walk Max but after that feel free to come over.” You replied. “I’ll come with you. The adrenaline still hasn’t worn off.” He told you.

“Well look at you, Buckley. First you offer me food and then to walk my dog? Sounds like you’re trying to seduce me.” You joked. “Trust me, Y/N. You’d know if I was trying to seduce you.” Buck said. “Yeah because you’re such a charmer.” You replied.

Buck told you he’d see you soon and the two of you said your goodbyes. As he got in his car after the phone call, all he could feel was butterflies. He felt butterflies every time he was preparing to see you or spend time with you.

You felt the same way. As basic as it sounded you had deep feelings for Buck. He was handsome, he made you laugh, he cared about you, and he was kind even to strangers.

What’s there not to love about Evan Buckley?

Buck met you at your front door as you were heading outside with Max.

“World famous firefighter Evan Buckley at my front door? Well isn’t it my lucky day.” You spoke. Buck smiled down at you before lowering down to pet your dog.

“There’s nowhere Id rather be.” He said. “You flatter me.” You commented. You handed him Max’s leash and the two of you began to walk down the sidewalk.

“So, where’s the rest of the 118?” You asked as you walked. “Bobby is with Athena, Hen is with Karen, Eddie is helping Christopher with a sleepover and Chimney is whooing my sister.” Buck explained.

You could see that the fact that all of his ‘people’ had someone or something to go home to made him feel a bit hurt. You knew that Buck had a bit of a habit of feeling lonely or feeling as if he was by himself.

“Hey, you know you always have me. Any day, any time. I know that sometimes it’s easy to feel alone. But as long as we got each other you’ll never be alone.” You told him. “I know. And I’m glad I have you because sometimes I don’t know what I’d do without you.” He said. “Suffer immensely.” You replied.

Buck laughed lightly and you looped your arm with his as you walked. The whole thing felt so normal and as if you had done it a thousand times before. You liked how it felt to just be with Buck in a way that was so mundane. I was the little things that made you appreciate him.

“Y/N, can I tell you something?” Buck asked. “Of course you can.” You said. Buck took a deep breath, afraid of how you’d react. But he was feeling on top of the world and he just wanted you to know how he felt about you.

“I love you. I love you as more than a friend, I guess I have for a while I just didn’t know how to tell you. Everyone in my life has someone to go home to and I thought I didn’t but when I think about that, I think of you. You’re my somebody, the person I want to come home to. And if that freaks you out and you don’t feel the same way, we could just forget it ever happened.” He confessed.

You stopped walking and looked up at Buck with an expression he couldn’t quite read. “A-And I definitely freaked you out. I’m sorry I just I needed to tell you and-“ He started before you cut him off by pressing your lips against his. He was taken aback at first but he realized what was happening, he kissed you back.

“I take it you feel the same way?” Buck questioned when you parted. “I feel the same way. No matter how cliche it is.” You laughed. “How long?” He asked. “Do you believe in love at first sight? Because I think it was when you scaled the side of my house to save Max.” You answered. “Really? Because for me, I think it was when you ran in front of a 20 ton fire truck.” Buck said.

“Definitely not my finest moment but I’d do it again.” You spoke. “You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t.” He replied.

Before you could say anything else, Max started to whine, wanting to continue his walk rather than standing still. “We should probably get going. You still owe me some take out.” You said. “On one condition,” Buck started. “Say you’ll be my girlfriend.” He finished. “Evan Buckley, I would love nothing more than to be your girlfriend.” You told him.

“Oh and I love you too.” You added. “I’m never going to get tired of hearing you say that.” Buck commented. “Good. Because I’ll never get tired of saying it.” You said.

Buck smiled at you before leaning in to kiss you once more before heading home.

He always thought that he never had his somebody. The person he goes home to at the end of a shift, the reason he strives to make it back after tough calls. But that person had always been you, it just took him some time realize it.

#imagine #imagines #911 imagine #911 lone star #911 fox #evan buckley oneshot #evan buckley x reader #evan buckley imagine #evan buckley

[allfrogsmatter]

Remember Reed and Jerry J????

I’ve now written 8 chapters of a book based on their story that’s been in my head for a year and a half now (wtf) and the whole thing outlined is 30+ chapters (also already at 30k words so this is the most devoted to writing I have ever been)

Also hoping to bust into the Sims 3 next week when my mom is out of town and can’t complain that it slows down her computer.

And I’m looking into options for how I can maybe get back to playing Sims 4 on my mac, I need to do some research on external hard drives but if I can solve my storage issues and maybe connect it to a different monitor I thinkkkkk I can get things up and running again.

I’ve been lurking in the shadows the past few months keeping tabs on legacies and new cc and it’s been KILLING ME not to be able to play the Hayes’ anymore, especially since I have a few unwritten posts in drafts and so many ideas for the rest of the 1940s and following generations.

Also I just remembered that part of why I had to step away from that save for a while was because I couldn’t put off Joe’s roll anymore so I sent him and all the other seabees off to eat and then after three or four in game days it still wasn’t bringing them back and my anxiety got too high and I had to quit without saving

(figured out later that for whatever reason the settings were messed up so it would be three in game days instead of the one it took for David’s roll for some reason????)

Really wish Sims can coexist with me doing other things on my computer but it quite literally can not run with more than one thing open at this point, even if it’s just chrome and safari or something like that.

But my mother can not stop me next week! I am going to sneakily reinstall all the packs while she’s at work tomorrow so Saturday when they leave I can jump right in!

Maybe I’ll share my Sims 3 current household when I get in there, I’m dying to pick up where I left off with a save I made a few years ago.

#nonsims #making another periodical appearance on this app #to ramble

[enderspawn]

theres this fic idea i’ve been thinking of for a long while now (honestly i've had this specific post drafted since may of this year, so maybe since january or so) and want to eventually write one day, but if im being honesty with myself i'm not sure if i ever will, so im at least putting it out there now.

its a chip analysis piece (likely in some kind of 5+1 format, primarily from jay’s POV) specifically between chip and his relationship with food. the simple fact he’s always been this scrawny malnourished street kid when growing up outside of the black rose means a lot to me, and it would likely cause a lot of habits or behaviors the others wouldnt have or possibly even understand to begin with which would be a fun thing to explore and how it can reveal more abt him.

scenes/topics that would be Covered will be under cut

1 ---

the first thing that immediately comes to mind is an analysis and expansion upon his canon interactions with food in canon, such as the bag of chip’s jay gives him on loffinlot or the cinnamon roll incident

for one, the fact that jay carries snacks at all is kind of indicative and would likely be the focus. use jay's pov to explain how she’s learned to bring snacks on adventures since teaming with chip (likely with comments being somewhat snide or huffy about it, or comparing him to a child demanding/needing a snack, since they are still kind of strangers and she doesn’t know much about chip).

(if desired, it could also expand on how he fuckin’ made that small bag of chips last so long. yes the true answer is “because it was funny” but like… rationing behavior? jay might make an absent note of it (due to her observant feat), but wouldn’t likely extrapolate further at the time. also may be cut entirely for messing with story flow too much to include as a detail.)

the cinnamon roll scene is… listen he literally tried to share food with someone and broke down crying doing so because he loves them and wants to share that. obvious example of using food as a language for love and appreciation (which, again, takes on another level when you remember he comes from a food-scarce background). like thats just a thing that happened i don’t care if it was a goof that’s just canon. bite me. 

2 ---

observation of chip having "weird" behaviors with food. these include having a seemingly massive appetite and being sure to always clean his plate (you don’t turn down access to food and you take what you can in case you can’t do it again soon.) 

but also: as part of chip kind of projecting onto ollie, he’s always trying to pawn more food onto ollie’s plate. sometimes it’s as subtle as saying he’s “not hungry anymore” and scrapping whats left to ollie (which would catch jay’s eye because previously he’s always finished his plate even when full and clues her in) to as obvious as literally giving him more and saying he needs to eat more.

both the above points would be stuff jay would 1. spot and 2. actually take note of/care about, around after desire island or so. 

3 ---

immediately after leaving allport, i think seeing reuben would bring back a bunch of chip's old habits and cause him to backslide a bit. after all, even if they were a “family”, they were also still a gang of street rats. on instinct, he would end up showing a lot of food guarding habits (being overly protective of people taking it, hiding food in a stash, etc). he likely also had these habits for a while after joining with jay and gillion, but after episode 16 when they started slowly getting closer the habits faded because he knew he could trust them. 

4 ---

this is such a minor point in comparison to the rest of this list but i can see it so clearly in my brain. chip has an apple (likely stolen tbh) and he takes a bite out of it and leans against a wall. jay either makes a snide comment towards him about it or just snorts or something, prompting chip to hold it up towards her and go “you want some?” in a snarky way (speaking with his mouth full all the while).

jay rolls her eyes and says yes and gets startled when chip actually throws her the apple. she yelps, catching it, then throws it back immediately while yelling something like “ew, no, you took a bite of it already! i was kidding! gross!” chip feigns being wounded and retorts with something like “and here i was willing to expose myself to your stink getting on my apple–” and cue bickering between them about cooties. 

he just straight up was willing to share the apple, thoughts abt "the fact he already bit into it" don’t register for him bc its such a non-issue in his mind. he offers to share about any food he has/makes because its a silent way to show he cares. i don’t think he’s fully conscious of that fact though. in general i think chip responds a lot better to subtle actions showing love than words of love and this is just another example of that from him

(following this is likely where cinnamon roll scene would go in the fic, both timeline-wise and thematically, since this section is focused more or less on "sharing your food as a sign of love")

5 ---

this next section would be the most plot heavy or traditional “fic” affair, in that it’s not solely fluff padding/analysis and has some original storybits.

the crew would be stranded on an island. i don’t know how exactly, but the key parts is that they don’t have their ship, there’s no one else on the island, and they have limited resources/rations. presumably they know rescue is coming, but ideally they don’t know exactly when (for drama purposes, as well as to make proper rationing out supplies p much impossible). perhaps the grandberry crew is on their way to save them, but they ended up on this island after a storm and don’t know where they are to point the grandberry pirates to. something like that.

actually, this plays out very similarly to the ollie part as detailed earlier, but to the left. as the crew starts to struggle with rations, chip would start (subtly when possible) start giving up his own portions. either by feigning lack of appetite, persuasion, deception, etc. the closest he comes to stating the truth would be when someone (likely ollie) asks if he’ll be okay going without his portion and chip shrugs then leans back on his elbows with a smirk and goes “nah, i’m used to it anyway.”

this is when the rest of the crew also starts to pick up on chip’s behaviors, to the point it becomes a bit of an unspoken secret they don’t want to dig into. previously, and the reason the entire fic is from Jay's POV, shes been the only one observant enough to take notice off all these traits. this is when it becomes So obvious everyone notices it.

6 ---

preferably, near the beginning of the story (likely after the chip bag incident, but before jay starts noticing all of chip’s behaviors, so that she cares for him more than she’s annoyed by him but hasn't put together any real dots-- between section 1 and 2), there would be a section where chip is mocked for his short height (as the shortest of the crew, at around 5’4) and being VERY easy for gillion to carry. 

then, after the island section (section 5), there would be another part where chip’s height and weight are commented on. i'm undecided if this would be another light hearted goof scene or a more “dramatic” serious scene (which if it was it would likely be tied to the island incident. maybe an injury or argument or something?).

either way, it happens because jay ends up lifting/carrying chip. jay “8 in strength” ferin. he’s just fuckin light. afterwards, chip would explain saying something like “its not my fault! cause like– outside of arlin, i was kind of a street rat growing up, yknow? they arent particularly known for having a stable food situation, didn’t get all the nutrients and junk you need to grow tall”. it starts as a joke and a kind of light-hearted ribbing defense, but kind of sobers up in that melancholic-nostalgic way by the end.

it’s the first time he directly states anything abt his upbringing and food to his crew, but its a confirmation. well, its a confirmation for jay. everyone else definitely knew something was going on, but jay is the one who is able to connect all the pieces bc she’s the only one whos noticed all the other pieces. she gets the Whole Picture of how his childhood and upbringing caused all these behaviors and kind of what they imply abt chip's behavior now (like the food sharing as love, smothering ollie, etc)

+ 1 ---

for a cheesy ending bonus, have jay use a mix of chip’s anecdotes abt the black rose and drey’s shaky memory to try and cook up a meal he used to have there. (for bonus, if desired she could reach out to lizzie too since lizzie lived with the old chef shay).

depending on author preference, either its good and chip cries because of the ~*memories*~ and the fact they cared enough, or it’s comically awful and not much at all like the original but the sole fact that they went out of their way to very obviously try SO hard to surprise him with this because they thought it would make him happy (as well as trying to speak to him in his own love language) makes him cry about it anyway. 

(again, chip responds better to acts of love than words-- having his crew not only notice this abt him, but then do something to try and show that love hits him way harder than anything else could)

#jrwi #jrwi riptide #riptide #chip #ive sat on this for So long please acknowledge me JFKDLSJFKL #also i know i said i want to write it and i. still do! #but like. idk man. if anyone else gets inspired from this you can at least Ask if you can and you might get a yes. it depends fjdskflj #fanfic #(jeb bush voice) please clap #the. the fuckin acts of service post from hours ago caused this to ricochet back into my brain #and i want it Out please i need to read about contract law rn sir plea-- #anyway. ''heres a fic idea i have'' my brother in christ the post is 1.7k #jrwi spoilers

[milks-thoughts]

MORE ABT MY HTTYD AU >:D

Just to recap/finalize:

Raph:

• A stormcutter

• Protective, one of the main alphas in the nest (Donnie is the other)

• The third to accept MC as part of the nest

• Is twice the size of normal stormcutters

• His role as alpha is more to protect then provide

Donnie:

• Razorwhip

• Analytical, the first, and the one who brings MC to the nest

• He’s missing a large portion of his tail and has extremely soft scales due to a birth defect, he wears armor made out of other razorwhip shedding

• He provides as an alpha and prefers to provide rather than protect. He goes and steals from islands until MC comes along and shows them FISH.

Leo:

• A Death Song

• when AU properly starts (HTTYD 2) he STILL doesn’t trust MC

• Missing a horn and his tail fin is torn up

• Helps keep the nest calm, the balancer of the scale

Mikey:

• a hobblegrunt!!

• the second to properly trust MC

• blind, highly dependent on his brothers and MC

• dragon empath <3

The Nest:

In all honesty, I was having issues imagining the nest. My mind kept flip flopping from a scary inactive volcano like the Queens nest from the first movie, or a lush paradise from the second. I eventually settled on how New Berk looks from the third movie. The island itself is completely surrounded by tall rocks and deep forests that scare any Vikings away. Not to mention the constant dragon calls that echo out from anywhere. The deeper you walk the scarier it gets before finally…it comes to a lush paradise

Side Characters (still Hamato family, just not the brothers)/New Things:

Splinter:

Monsterus Nightmare <3

You gonna have to hear me out: Monsterus Nightmares are shown to be lazy but can kick ass

He’s more of a grandpa resting dragon, he rarely intervenes and trusts his sons to lead the nest

LOVES MC, especially when MC started to clean off his old shed and spend time with him

April:

Deadly Nader

From the show: “ The Deadly Nadder. Piercing spines, loyal, powerful...” “ Intelligent, and, of course, deadly."

Untrusting of MC but growing closer to them after seeing them try to treat all the bros with kindness

One of the main guards and hunters for the nest, she used to scout before getting injured by a Viking and having her wing torn

Cassandra:

Night fury (yes I did use a picture of toothless)

I immediately knew what to do for her, it’s just a gut feeling

Cassandra is the main guard for the nest, she’s larger then normal night furies

She doesn’t trust MC at all but respects MC because the Alphas say to

Casey Jr:

Night light

I feel like he’d still be an egg when MC is introduced

I’ve messed with the timeline a bit so Cass has him when they’re all still younger (it’d make sense because they’re dragons <3)

He trusts MC and constantly is sneaking away from the nest, all the other dragon young following him

Draxum:

Screaming Death

He was brought into the nest by Mikey after he got lost in the woods

In this AU he isn’t related to the bros (neither is splinter, they’re all adopted. that isn’t a excuse don’t be gross guys)

Literally hates MC, tried to eat them, 0/10

Gargoyles:

Night Terrors!!!

They’re so silly

Trusts MC with their lives

Hunts for Draxum

i fucking hate mobile Tumblr so I’ll post a picture of Night Terrors in the comments <3

When this au takes place:

So in the canon, it’d start at the beginning of the first movie, the entire first movie MC is at the nest and just trying to get comfortable. The second movie is when MC really takes an active role, during the Netflix shows timeline MC meets Valka and bonds over their nests. Valka calls MC for help during the second movie, causing MC to lose the nest and the boys. MC helps Berk move but when Hiccup told them to let the dragons go they refused and took the nest and left. Saying that Hiccup should never have asked that and they will aid Berk when they fail due to their loss (rough draft but the majority of the AU happens during the second movie)

#rottmnt #save rottmnt #save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt au #httyd au #how tf do you draw dragons???

[gravesphillip]

To Your Aid // Adler

warnings: afab!reader, neutral pronouns(?), toxic relationship, sexual tension, petting, manipulation, mentions of being wounded, making out, cockblocked by lazar 😭😭, age gap, reader is 29 while adler is 41, you take his side in this fic but the ending is slightly adjusted, other than that, angst-ish fluff. lmk if I missed any!

an: from now on, I will be accepting requests from other cod games instead of just mw! this fic may come in parts too. I'm trying my best to get requests out there but school has been kicking my ass, busy as fuck. I needed content and saw this 3/4 finished fic in my drafts, so I finished it, reviewed it, and posted it.

MAJOR COLD WAR SPOILERS/MINORS DNI, NSFW UNDER CUT.

"you did well, kid." he gently cooed, sliding his hand to the wound on your thigh.

adlers' face softens before standing up from the crouching position he sat in before. looking around in the same room you have had been in multiple times from missions, collecting evidence. spotting a kit with medical supplies– or you hope, cause god, you could feel your entire leg throb in pain.

he chased after it, placing his rough calloused hand over the object before bringing it off the table and into his hands. it was quite heavy, from the weight that pulled slightly on him.

leaning back closer into you, examining the gash. deep, oozing blood. you fell further into your hands that you had behind you. all your weight down into them. head hanging down into your shoulder blades as moans of pain peeled past your lips when adler's hands glazed over it. "what'd I say about taking it easy, sweetheart?"

looking up at him with the remaining strength you had left, peering through his tinted glasses. watching his eyes squint towards you, in pity– you assume atleast. "shut up and just patch me up.. please." a desperate wail, mainly voiced from your leg as it jumped in pain. more blood being lost by the second.

when adler had took some gauze, beginning to clean and place it directly on the wound, you started to get lost in him. staring at the way adlers face concentrates, is gentle, and looks up to watch your face for any hurt. makes you remember all you 2 been through while on this hunt for perseus.

you had a vision of this one past time, where in which he had almost died saving your ass. you fumbled reloading your ammo and was ambushed. shot in your arm, dropping your gun. thinking you were gonna die, that was it? adler unexpectedly came to your rescue, like some cheesy romantic film.

yet, you still cannot forgive him for– I guess, literally using you just to get to perseus. drugging you almost to death just so he could get information out of you.. forcing you to remember the things he wanted to know.

the thoughts fading away as you regain control from your eyes spacing out. adler is lasering you weirdly with his eyes, aware that you were literally gone for some time. deep in thought. locking eyes with him, you find yourself staring at him now. he's so fucking handsome, the way his scar compliments his face, the way the smoke from his lit cigar partially fades over his face. fuckkk.

"you're all good, darlin'" he says, gently caressing ontop of the wrapping he did. beginning to get up, you stop in your tracks. nervous to speak, stuttering at first– "something on your mind?" adler leveled with you, getting up from his kneeling pose. he walked even closer to you, smokey breath against your cheek, "anything, I don't mind." you start to tremble, words falling out your mouth.

"I know your true intentions with me. ALL of you, I know..." aggressively spoke, almost hostile. you let the past get to you, but it was rightfully so. his eyes grew larger beneath his sunglasses, chuckling to himself. adler turned to the table, back to you. smooshing the cigar out before facing you once again. "kid, I don't think you know what you're talking about— anything we've done helped, you helped us by letting us do all those things to you."

you shut down, shuffling to face away from him, his good looking fucking self. leaning against the huge table behind you as well. trying to think of how to respond to that.

slicking the fallen hair out of your face, pacing side to side in place. cupping it, just to slide them back down your chin again. deciding to face him again– to finally speak after a minute, you had not noticed the figure right up behind you.

hands coming around the sides of your waist, his chest spooning your shook up back. goosebumps covering your sweating skin. "I can promise you, that you are fine now. trust me." he whispered, "our job is finished, there will be no more experiments." your breath hitched, his tone was dark, scary almost. flashes of him saying, we've got a job to do, goes through your head as he grinds up against you.

not being able to control yourself, your face flushed red by his touch. adler's hands gliding up your arms up to your tense shoulders. "relax.." kissing up your nape, his hair brushing against your chin as he twists his head up and over your shoulder easily. "you're crazy.." a incoherent mumble, cut by a soft pant.

adlers bulge becoming more and more prominent against your ass, not realizing its sticking out more towards him, your back arched. you wanted this, but it felt so wrong. he's using you, you can't be doing this, but your mind fogs as his lips climb your gulping neck.

his hands start to explore your heated body, one sliding up your shirt while the other down your unharmed leg. you find yourself attempting to stand up straight with your hands stabilizing in front of you, shaking.

"you're such a fucking himbo, is this supposed to change my mind about you?" snapping at him in a high tone. he continues to touch you, "i don't care what you think this is, baby." he says while taking a break from your neck. adler's response made your face curl in pleasure, the way the word 'baby' fell from his evil ass lips..

you could feel his hands returning back to your hips, motioning you to turn around to finally face him again. at this point, you obliged like his little bitch that you were since you met him.

—but you couldn't help the warm tears build up in your eyes, all this "just forgive and forget" was harder than just saying it. adler realized your tears, bringing a thumb to your eyes, wiping them. "I know, sweetheart, I know. –I do mean it though, I do. there will be no more further "experiments" done on you." It was all so confusing, you didn't know what to believe anymore.

both of your faces are soft, full of thoughts and what your neck move is. you needed a shoulder to cry on, unsure if adler would be a good candidate for that though– eyeing him, trying to read if he would let you. "whats om your mind now?" his voice gentle and calm unlike moments ago. you hiccup from the lump of tears held in the back of your throat. shaking your head side to side.

your eyes glaring down to his lips, just wanting to be able to kiss them without needing to worry if maybe, he will take out a knife and stab you in the back like one of those edgy scenes in another corny movie. you make a guess on what he may taste like, beer & smoke most likely.

your lower region pulled in roughly towards his, meeting below as both your top body remains distance apart. your chests heaving, bumping into eachother as they sync. you start lowering your head, signaling what you were thinking of doing earlier. adler just stands there, accepting whatever you are doing— soon realizing its you having a whole breakdown into the nape of his neck.

adler went to speak, but quickly shut his pursed lips. there was a unreasonable amount of comfortable silence between you two. fine, you're okay with this. you accept how he is, its okay. you fucking love him, you can't just not accept him anyway.

your hands come up to play with his hair, sliding up his neck. one adventures back down around his face, pulling his glasses of his face. the rest of the scar appearing from hiding. head slowly coming from his neck, face wet with tears that begin slowly drying. fingers intertwined into his dirty blonde locks of hair, twirling it around between them.

you go forward for a kiss, shockingly, he doesn't kiss back for a split second. however, full on hunger releases throughout him, turning your kiss more rough against you. his hands tugging at your shirt, wanting it off, needing it off.

with the fabric half way up your body, adler speaks gently, "god, you're so pretty when you cry, you know th–"

there's 3 bangs to the garage door. it was someone from the team about to come in. adler's hands are speedy fast to come off of you, as you quickly wipe the slow falling tears. adjusting eachother's clothes, making sure you seem presentable as they walk in.

it was lazar.

#cod adler #russell adler #cod #cold war #cod cold war #adler #gravesphillip

[after-witch]

What do you think about Empty Smiles? I heard a lot of people say the ending was rushed.

Also, is this the final final of the smiling man?

I have a lot of thoughts about Empty Smiles! So I actually had a WIP post with my thoughts in my drafts that I forgot about, I'm going to rework that here for an answer.

Short, non-spoilery answer: Yes, the ending is very abrupt, to a frustrating degree. If you check on Goodreads, almost every review mentions this, it's definitely not just me.

As for "is this the final final," Arden did say she was toying with the idea of writing a middle grade historical fiction where the Smiling Man plays a role. So she may not be done with him! I would love it if she did that. I have endless WIPs where it's just "historical setting reader + Smiling Man."

under the read more: loooong thoughts (criticisms & otherwise) about Empty Smiles, SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS for Empty Smiles by Katherine Arden.

First, the criticisms, because that's the juicy part right?

This book was too short. It really needed an extra 15-20 pages. The resolution is shockingly abrupt and doesn’t feel climatic at all. I literally had to go back and reread, because I thought I’d somehow skipped pages. I mean, I guess the resolutions in the previous 3 books were fairly abrupt as well... but since this was the last book, I expected something more drawn out and not as easy as "Okay we literally just walk and key #2 appears with no work or effort, then we're outside and we have key #3 and leave." There needed to be something more.

I don’t understand why the last two books were so short compared to the first two. Is it a publisher thing, maybe? Them wanting shorter books for middle grade consumption, instead of longer books which may be more YA? The library assistant in me says yes, but it is a theory only. I would hope it wasn't because Arden just gave up and didn't know how to end it.

Also the publisher does know how stupid it is for Empty Smiles to have excerpts of books 1-3 in the back, right? Who is reading book #4 but not book 1-3 first?? It's just to pad the book's physical copy out so that it doesn't look too slim on the shelves, and it's a cheap trick.

What else... so Phil is now part of the group but with how short this book is, you don’t get a solid sense of the new dynamic. They kind of wove Phil feeling left out in there (Phil is like, jealous that the evil clowns don’t ransack his house, lol, oh Phil) but it was a little flat.

Nmmm. Now for something a bit frustrating to admit. So I love all the Smiling Man, I’m over the moon about it, y'all know that for sure.

But I feel like the Smiling Man in this book is quite different from the Smiling Man in the first and second books in some respects. Why doesn’t he want to kill Ollie now? He was legit ready to doom her to die behind the mirror, to spend her eternity in a frozen hellscape either sleeping at best or chased by a creepy old hag monster ghost at worst, in book #2. He dug a knife into her heart, figuratively, when she told him about her mom dying.

It’s like he went from Book #2 “yeah I want you to die and suffer, watching you get dragged away to your damnation is so funny I'm actually crying, you thought you could best me, girl??” and #3 "literally trying to kill you guys, KILLED PHIL'S UNCLE" to being softer with her, no gloating, almost protective in some ways, for Book #4.

And mind you, he IS mean in this one. He really is. He shows Ollie a fantasy of her dad & Coco’s mom & Coco without her, trying to pressure her into agreeing to stay with him forever, and what he says to her is just so horribly awful and cruel. And he says terrible things to Coco (saying she’d look lovely as a transformed doll--lovely and quiet) and is delighted by the tortured ghosts of people who died, tormented, in a mental hospital.

He doesn’t care that the carnival has countless people trapped, and he tries to gift Ollie a doll that is a literal human being transformed into a toy. There’s a fucking... box... of broken “doll parts” (aka, literal human beings who are just?? broken?? pieces now jfc) and he doesn’t care that Ollie is horrified by it.

But there's this significant shift with his overall personal dynamic with Ollie. It’s like... he doesn’t care that she beat him anymore. That was the game the entire time. She beat him, and it really, really pissed him off, and he wants to get her (and by extension, Coco & Brian) back. So now he has her and it’s like... eh, whatever.

We get perspective from Ollie as to why her perception of him changes because they are constantly interacting and he is cordial and even funny sometimes, but we never see it from his side. We can’t, not without a chapter from his perspective. I honestly wish that Arden had been like, okay fuck it, and done a chapter from his perspective just before the final chapter. Maybe that would have helped. Because as it is, I am confused. 

I think this ties into why we needed to see Ollie make the deal in book #3, because I think that moment is what shifted the dynamic. He beat her. He finally beat her. We need to see that to get a resolution of their original dynamic, and to introduce the new one. But we don't, and so it's jarring.

And like... I find it fascinating, and I love it, and I lost my mind at him giving her soup and medicine and bandaging her hand and asking her to stay. But I have to personally fill in the gaps of why he's not acting so gleefully horrid over having beat her, and I shouldn't have to do that.

Also, loose ends, loose ends. What happened to the cat and the hound? Why is this carnival suddenly so important to the Smiling man? I'm sad that the cat & hound servants present in book 1, critical components of the Smiling Man when he’s in his element, don't appear at all. Especially the hound. He seemed quite kind to Ollie in the end, whispering gently that if she ever needed him, to call his name. Would have been a neat thing if she'd remembered, and called him. Maybe he could have given us some of the Smiling Man’s perspective that would have made his shift towards Ollie more understandable and sensible. 

For the positives.

Oh gosh, there's so much smiling man. There's SO MUCH. And we get a new facet of his personality, him 'at ease,' which is truly delightful. He randomly trips and horrifies a teenager. Why?? Just to fuck with them. He's surrounded by transformed humans who live terrifying existences as dolls that are literally given away to people who take them home as prizes, and he doesn’t care at best, finds it amusing at worst. Wonderful.

The way he interactions with everyone is just delightful. The way Tim describes him as "nice," but still refusing to let Tim see his sister; the way he's cooly cruel with Ollie and Coco sometimes, the way he gets frustrated with Coco ("Save me from stubborn girls" that line killed me and sent me straight up) and tells people to mind their manners and just... it's a smorgasbord of smiling man in his element. 

And the lore and backstory we get? I love it. It’s tantalizing, while leaving a lot open for interpretation. Especially when we get into the notion of the smiling man being “alone.” I can’t help but think of what someone else wrote about him on here, essentially saying that narratively, he is the :no one else to turn to,” he is Alone, personified, for people who think they have nothing else that they can do, nowhere they can go, no one they can turn to get what they want (whether they do or not). And for him to potentially in some ways, feel alone, and be alone, is very fascinating to me. 

And the little things, here and there. The train car being already decked out with furniture and such, and having old clothes in the drawer. Who was there before? How many were there before? Were there others, are there others? Tucked away here and there, perhaps agreeing to stay, perhaps not, and finding themselves trapped (into scarecrows, into dolls, into mirrors) when they aren’t able to escape like Ollie? 

I also love, on a non-smiling man related note, the closeness of the kid characters and the bond that they’ve developed. The end bit where Coco and Ollie agree that they’re sisters was heartwarming. I also love the involvement of the adults although apparently I’m in a minority on that one. I loved that it was realistic. I loved that, with Ollie’s dad, he wants to believe... feels compelled, deep down, and Arden keeps the detail going of him looking at the scar on his hand (from the snake in book #3) when the subject of Ollie comes up. Like some part of him knows, despite the smiling man’s magic.

Overall, I really did like it. The ending is not great/too abrupt, and I feel like we really did need that scene of the smiling man “winning” over Ollie from Dark Waters to truly bridge the characterization gap--but I love how much more Smiling Man we got, and I love that we got to see him basically be himself instead of in hiding for a good chunk of the story.

Oh, and... the Smiling Man wears Led Zeppelin and Grateful Dead band t-shirts to his carnival. I mean, the man knows how to dress. 

#katherine arden #small spaces #book thoughts

[air--so--sweet]

So, I already edited and added to this one before and it took two hours and then tumblr glitched and saved none that and instead posted my original messy draft and I didn't realise for several hours and was very annoyed which is why this is coming now rather than sooner.

I've decided to save my full David and Syd analysis until after watching season three, so this is just my stray observations post while watching the last three episodes of season 2.

- If David hadn't been off fucking Future Syd maybe he could have prevented the delusion spreading through Division 3 and maybe Ptonomy could have survived. Also, I know they were limited timewise, and I know they haven't really known what to do with Ptonomy since season 1, but couldn't we get at least one shot of his friends mourning him?! If not David and Syd, at least Melanie? Wasn't it implied they worked together a significant amount of time at Summerland? I know his consciousness is being kept alive in a computer or whatever, but they didn't know that at the time!

- I want to know how Clark and Syd's 'girl talk' moment came to be. Do they meet for tea regularly? Talk about their love lives and exes? I'm not sure how I feel about Clark's story about the boy in the army he loved who kept jumping out of planes to get away from him. I feel like it might have been better to get something more real in that moment than bizarre (especially when we know he had a husband and son that he lost due to his obsession with David). I read a review that treated the army boy story as serious and emotional but like... he parachuted away from him, and then one day his parachute didn't open?! It's just occurred to me thst I might be taking this too literally like the autistic stereotype I am but honestly in a show like Legion that's the sort of thing that would be intended to be taken literally and not as a metaphor so I don't even know anymore...

- Literal or not I did not miss the parallel of Syd jumping out of a plane and parachuting down to get to David. Honestly, parachuting into the desert and immediately kicking your boyfriend in the shins is such a power move.

- In general it feels like the show doesn't know what to do with Clark, and I worry that he'll meet a similar fate to Ptonomy as a result. Hopefully not!

- Admiral Fukuyama was created to keep the secrets safe from the telepaths...now he works with them? I liked seeing some of how he came to be, but it honestly it left me more confused. Also, if all he has is the metalwork around his head, I don't really get why he wears a basket...its probably just a meaningless visual I'm reading too much into... I love the visuals of Legion a lot, but I do feel like sometimes 'this would look cool/weird/strange' is the only reasoning behind things and it doesn't always land with me.

- So this absolutely should have gone in my TUA comparison post, but I remembered writing it, got confused, and thought I'd already posted it rather than stuck it in a stray observations draft...whoops. David choosing to not tell anyone his plan as Farouk would read their mind and instead manipulating them all as an alternative - it's the first time David, as David has acted based on his own thoughts and feelings and I'm questioning if he's doing the right thing. I couldn't help but think of Five Hargreeves line to Viktor in The Umbrella Academy, 'You know what they call a superhero who acts alone and doesn't listen to anybody? A villain.' (Having now reached the end of the season I wasn't wrong)

- Farouk previously talked about David's white father taking over and telling his people what to do (sidenote: who are Farouk's people? I thought he might mean mutants, but the white part of the line then doesn't make sense. It's unclear if Farouk is Moroccan like the comics or Iranian, since he speaks Farsi, but in this universe, did Professor X colonise Morocco/Iran?!?) He also talks about white people being cast as the heroes when speaking with Future Syd, and he's got a point, but the show needs to commit if it truly wants to address this. Yes exoticism has been used as short hand for villainous in the past, yes the writers of Legion didn't create or name Amahl Farouk, they're just (loosely) adapting the comics, and yes David does reveal himself to be a villain rather than a hero. But like...Farouk is still also a villain? So yeah, your blonde blue-eyed white man might be a monster, but that doesn't erase all the things Farouk has done (including helping turn David into a monster). Also, him being free at the end is down to his manipulations and control of others, right? Because the whole of Division 3 isn't so stupid as to let him walk free, right?!?

- 'You're the song they play outside a hostage crisis to keep criminals from thinking clearly.' This is just a great line I wanted to highlight. Syd could have just called Lenny a distraction but went with this beauty instead.

-The show that talked about delusion and moral panic then tries to blame technology for helping create narcissists and not seeing others as real people. It feels like that stupid 2014 video that claimed using our phones meant we'd miss out on meeting the love of our life because we won't ask her for directions. It's such nonsense. I've seen people who watched it when it aired say that technology is just a framing device for discussing narcissism and not meant to be seen as the blame, but if that's the case, sorry, they did a shit job because it absolutely feels like its proselytising about the evils of tech. It feels so incredibly out touch and tactless, and I wish they cut it, especially as the John Hamm narrative segments had reached a natural conclusion just the episode before. Having enjoyed the segments until now, it's disappointing that this is what they were building to.

-I think they were aiming for 'the desolate' or 'desolation' but 'Le désolé' just means 'the sorry' I checked with a French friend to make sure, and they confirmed it. You can use désolé to mean desolate, but only if there's a noun in front of it so this doesn't work.

- I'm not sure if the two David in David's mind are meant to be alters or like a devil and angel on his shoulder (really hope it's the latter because DID has been demonised enough and I don't trust the show to not be another Split honestly) but as someone who watches with subtitles I got the fun insight that their names are apparently Divad and Dvd.

- I've seen some people say Legion is set in the '60s/70s but we're never given a year, right? Considering it's a parallel universe I thought it was just another present day low/no tech AU like The Umbrella Academy or Manic. Especially as a lot if the tech we see feels more steampunk than 1960s . I get why a reviewer called the depiction of an MRI scan in season 1 anachronistic now, since MRI was only invented in 1977 (sidenote: as a student radiographer I will still never get over that scene. I was so ready to just accept it as a made up experimental scan and then they said the words MRI and I had to pause it, I was laughing so hard because it's sooo bad)

- I watched two whole seasons of this show and thought Melanie was played by Kim Cattral, but she isn't, she's played by Jean Smart! TWO SEASONS. I hadn't heard of Jean Smart before now, but honestly her and Kim Cattral are twins.

#legion #legion season 2 #david haller #amahl farouk #stray observations #the umbrella academy #but only a brief mention #can someone get me a gif of Syd parchuting out of the sky to kick David in the shins please?

[loverofallthingssmart]

i'd LOVE to hear your thoughts about the song twins.

anon ur everything thank u for fueling my song twins obsession mwah <3 here u go

sidenote: these are mostly about hair, friendship, and piercings....something that says a lot about me right now

okay first OFF idc tams shorter than linh!! they're both like decently tall but everyone thinks tam is short because linh is just like that type of tall where youre all limbs..like zendaya so everyone looks incredibly short compared to her

idk if he's the younger twin which drives him mad or if he's older AND still shorter but either way he gets made fun of <3

re my last post (that was supposed to go here but sleeby eesha cannot press buttons properly and apparently queue and draft are too close)

linh does NOT have her ears pierced but has an insane amount of piercings like she has a septum, both nostrils, AND a nose bridge piercing, she does NOT have snakebites (lip piercings) bc there's a LINE but she is considering eyebrow piercings to match her bridge one

tam has double lobe piercings on both sides, a helix on his right, a tragus on both sides, a daith on his left ear and he's planning to get an industrial whenever linh gets her eyebrow ones. he does NOT have guages bc like linh said, there's a LINE that shouldn't be crossed

like tam and linh have the same amount of piercings except linh has it everywhere but her ears and tam has it only on his ears

tam: how do u BREATHE linh: how do u HEAR (they're sooo 🤝)

both of them have dimples-linh's are incredibly easy to spot because she smiles all the time but tam only has one on his left side and he purposefully makes it so that when he's not scowling or anything his smirks go to the right so no one can tell (sophie is the first to discover it but no one believes that tam has a dimple so she purposefully tries to make him smile properly in front of everyone so they believe her!! she is only believed when at a sleepover keefe trips and falls flat on his face after boasting abt his balance and tam can't help but grin incredibly wide)

enough bangs tam let's talk about bangs linh, both song twins are diy hairdressers to each other, look me in the eye and tell me the two ppl who melted their registry pendants and decided to dye their hair with it are not...u cant!

so they decided to get bangs together, except tam went HARD and thankfully linh can make it so that it doesn't look so out of place. i can't describe his hair but know it looks good <3

linh in support of tam, decided to want lowkey with simply face framing "bangs" but unfortunately..instead of to the bottom of your nose/your chin which is where they're supposed to be cut, tam cuts them near the TOP of her nose, so linh has the world's tiniest face frame ever with parts of her hair that are just incredibly short. sometimes she can take them and spread them across her forehead into wispy bangs which are cute on some people! unfortunately for her, only tam can rock bangs so she has to wait MONTHS for them to grow out into true face frame bangs (source: me except i went to a hairdresser and when she asked me nose or chin, i said nose and she cut them like that...i loved them though <3 always missing them)

linh always has the urge to bleach her hair to dye it blonde but is talked down by tam every time, because in his words "there are too many blondes in our friend group do not leave me in black-haired superiority to be like every other bitch we know. including our significant others" (tam is dating keefe bc it's me and linh is dating whichever blonde makes you feel better) (sophie or marella bc i fully believe marella is naturally blonde but it's like a DARKK reddish strawberry blonde which counts !)

isn't it canon that it's hard for them to sleep without each other? if not WELL too bad it is now literally when they were little one of them could not sleep without the other next to them like literally impossible which was EVEN more amplified after they were away from home and it's gotten better now but they do find comfort in each other's presence and touch

little geniuses the both of them got their abilities YEARS before they're supposed to (im pretty sure i wrote in one of my fics that they got it when they were like 5?6? around there) ik it doesn't make sense bc oh but its weird that sophie got hers when she was five that's bc she's a telepath. telepaths are weird <3

tam's a NERDDDD i fully believe he's so interested in how everything works just like in general the nitty-gritty details of like lightleaping! and history of the animals and history of elves and astronomy all the things considered like boring or mundane and he bonds with sophie over wanting to know how everything works and they have hangouts with dex and fitz who explain to them what they want to know and sophie in turn tells them about how she learned it's supposed to happen with her human schooling (its me! you thought you wouldn't escape me making everyone friends? you're wrong!)

but like most nerds, he keeps his curiosity under lock and key hidden underneath his prickly attitude (something he and marella bond over because while marella loves to call him a nerd marella is literally THEE inner softie in the friend group like her and dex have a secret handshake tam is sworn to secrecy by the both of them not to say)

yes tam and linh are the first to know of each other's secrets but while tam can hide stuff from linh for YEARSS (his shove his feelings into a bottle mentality is showing) linh cannot keep anything a secret from tam and has ruined many surprise bday parties/gifts by this. the funny part is that it is ONLY with tam like u tell linh a secret involving pranking keefe and the only way you find out she knew is years after the prank happens

this is getting super long so i'll end it with this: they don't actually have a twin thing but they will say they have twin telepathy and have pre-rehearsed bits in their back pockets to freak people out

okay that's it im done i have more but ill save that for another day hope yall enjoyed this montrosity !!

#this is SOOOOO long i cannot shut up KSJHDGTDSHYJA HELP anon i bet ur regretting asking me abt my thoughts on the song twins huh.. #this was so fun :] i liked getting back into the groove of what makes this blog like me getting back into making headcanons feels right. #its also the step right before me getting back into writing everyone please manifest #ANYWAY yeah <3 i love them can u tell? and i will stand by intimidating song twins for LIFE #ALSO??? what happened to keep reading idk how to do it anymore??? so truly im sorry for such a long post #tam song #linh song #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #2 am ramblings #long post #ask me anything #anonymous

[dontmindme2600]

Things that have happened to in Fallout 3 so far as I go into the game not knowing anything at all about it, part 3 (part two is in the reblogs of the og post I just don’t want to make it any longer lol):

-Game just straight up crashed randomly (love u Bethesda) but thankfully it was like soon after I turned it on so I didn’t really lose anything important. What was weird though is that after closing it and reopening it, it was still crashing. Like it just froze with glitched audio on the title screen. Also somehow when I tried to open a whole other game to give it a break the glitching sound continued over to a whole other goddamn game for some reason. I am using past tense here but I actively write this stuff as it happens (I have this post drafted) and literally have no idea what to do rn because I’m playing on Xbox GamePass and like wha (I’ll figure it out)

-I found the mechanist and tried to do that speech thing on him where you try to tell him he’s become just as big of a problem as the AntAgonizer, the first time it didn’t work and he killed me. The second time it immediately worked, and after like 3 lines of dialogue he took the suit off and I completed the entire quest. Like. Like the whole thing. What the fuck. I don’t even know what the AntAgonizer looks like yet. I was. I was expecting a little more there

-Was hanging out in the Rivet city marketplace for the first time, got some pre-war clothes, gossiped with some NPC’s, all of sudden one of them starts running and I’m getting shot at, I leave and come back and everything’s normal, don’t know what that was about but I LIVED THIS TIME THOUGH HA

-Was going through hell in DC as you do and started repeatedly clipping through the ground with every step I took, had to reload a save to get it back to normal

-Whatever you do, do not take a left after you discover Friendship Heights

-Found an area that was full of raiders to practice my combat and the raiders just like. Hung a bunch of dismembered bodies from the ceiling of one room and I will not lie I was a bit aghast. Appalled if you would. Flabbergasted. Like have some class???

-Made it to the underworld, I’m considering killing Ahzrukhal to learn more about Charon without having to pay, but the people there already probably don’t trust me and I don’t want them to become hostile because I killed him lmao

-Found a glitched like,,, floating armor I think??? It was just a chest plate and mask floating in midair in some closed off area of an underground metro station, and I’m not joking it scared the shit out of me because it looked like a floating corpse staring straight at me alsjdhakksj. When I walked into it gravity kicked in and it fell to the ground, but when I went back into the same area again later it respawned, floating again.

-I’ve realized that there’s a counter for “pants exploded” in your stats and I am,,, very curious on when that will be a thing I can do

Notes:

-I still have absolutely NO idea how to use V.A.T.S. properly, so I avoid it, so I’m absolutely dogshit at any combat in the game. I kind of think that at this point I should probably work on it because I’m struggling to make any major progress with the quests. So I’ll make sure to practice sometime

-From now on I’ll tag these posts as “fo3 with Stupid” (the old ones are tagged with this as well)

#guess I’ll just keep going at this until I beat the game #fallout 3 #fo3 #fallout #ngl I wish I posted part 2 separately as well because it’s hilarious #like the prime example of how unfamiliar I am with this series #also after I made that vats note I started practicing combat and leveling up so I’m doing #a… bit better now??? still am not good at vats but I did get better at defending myself with basic weapons #fo3 with stupid

[chromegnomes]

I'm gonna delete this post later, but thought I'd put out a general Last Call in case any of my followers/mutuals wanted to join the beta reader group for my WIP series The Skeleton King over in the Wyngspan Labs discord.

Here's a temporary link to the PDF of the teaser I sent the existing group; it's about 6500 words long, and is a pretty good sample of what the rest will be like.

If you're interested, I'll put the Q&A I wrote for the beta readers below a Read More here, so you can know what you'd be getting into:

WHAT IS SKELETON KING?

Skeleton King is a novel* that I (Ross) have been writing on and off for over 10 years now, which began as a comedy serial I was writing for my college's writing club. This current iteration is the 4th draft.

*As of this draft, Skeleton King is no longer one novel, but a series of 5 short novels/novellas, each of which is stylized as an "Act" of a 5-act Shakespearean tragedy. This 5-act structure was present in the 2020 draft, but I hadn't yet accepted that it should probably be split into separate volumes.

CAN I READ THE PREVIOUS DRAFTS?

I'll probably post snippets from the 2020 draft when they become relevant, or if it would be funny to do so. The others will be buried with me.

WHAT IS A "SUB-ACT"?

Skeleton King riffs on story structure pretty explicitly throughout. Each book in the series is an "Act," but each book also has a traditional Act structure within it; most have 3 acts, one has 2, and one has 5. I'm not sure what to call these colloquially, because "chapter" feels insufficient but "act" is confusing. IMO it's easier to understand within the books themselves, because they're labeled like "Act I-1, Act I-2, Act I-3; Act II-1," etc

SO WHAT'S THIS BOOK ABOUT ANYWAY?

Coming up with a good elevator pitch for this book is literally the hardest part, and I'll be seeking guidance on that. On the surface, it's a coming-of-age road trip dramedy about four very strange high school boys, set in 2010, that gradually becomes a supernatural action-comedy; under the hood, it's an unhinged post-post-ironic Story About Stories that is trying to do way too much at once, but that information overload is, itself, one of the most important themes.

WHAT ARE THE MAIN INFLUENCES?

I think listing some of the books that have left the biggest impact on SK's style/tone will be helpful for giving people a yardstick to judge if it's accomplishing its goals. This list is incomplete, and in no particular order:

• The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams • Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke • House of Leaves by Mark Z Danielewski • A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket • Moby-Dick by Herman Melville • Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood • Good Omens by Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett • A whole lot of books by Ursula K LeGuin • A whole lot of books by Kurt Vonnegut

If you put all of those books in a blender and then reassembled them into a love/hate letter addressed to the ghosts of Joseph Campbell and Carl Jung, you would get Skeleton King.

WHAT ARE YOU HOPING TO GET OUT OF THIS?

• Motivation to finally finish the series, because I work best when I have an audience • Knowledge of what's working and what isn't, so please be honest about how you react to things, good or bad • A first pass at sensitivity reading. Due to its setting, race, class, and queerness come up a decent amount in these books; I am trying to be thoughtful in how I address these subjects, but if I overstep, I'd much rather be cautioned/corrected by readers I trust before the wider internet gets their hands on it. • The ego boost of watching a scene/joke land as I intended it to • The all-important unspoken corrective of watching a scene/joke I thought would hit flop instead

IS THIS "ROSCOE WATSON" GUY SUPPOSED TO BE YOU?

Roscoe is neither a self-insert nor not a self-insert, but a secret third thing. It's complicated, keep reading.

The most I'll say is that a lot of his interests and mannerisms are based on a teenage me, but his life and upbringing are very different from mine.

THIS IS A HOMESTUCK THING, ISN'T IT?

I only read Homestuck very recently, and did so because people who read earlier drafts of Skeleton King kept pointing out the existing similarities to me. I would like to think that Skeleton King is less obnoxious than Homestuck, but both are definitely engaged in a similar kind of metatextual ADHD maximalism.

DO YOU ACTUALLY LIKE ON THE ROAD?

No.

[greyeyedmonster-18]

Hi Grey.

If you ever have the time I would really like ti hear more about your writingprogress.

Like. How do you come up with your ideas? Do you do a outline? Where and when do you write? Are you finishing all your stories before posting them? Do you fact check things? How long time does it normally take for you to finish a story? Have you ever regretting posting a story? Why do you write? Do you have a beta?

Youre one of my favorite authors here and I’m really just curious of the mind and work behind the story’s that I’ve spent so much time with.

weeping. I'm one of your favorites???? what the hell??? thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you for being so nice. that just made my day.

i am going to put the answers to all those things below a cut to not spam my dash with a long post. but also, i shouldn't give writing advice ever and while i appreciate you asking your questions, everything with a grain of salt. because...i know absolutely nothing and this is just what I do. (and also, im an affectionate idiot so <3)

How do you come up with your ideas?

often my ideas start with a very very specific image in my mind, and then i go from there. sometimes they happen while im listening to a song (for example, FFTF happened because I was listening to Since We're Alone by Niall Horan and there's a line in there that says Why would you want to be someone else? I love you best when you're just yourself and an entire wolfstar narrative exploded, but i had to figure out how Sirius would be guarded in this particular way and....here we are) or sometimes when im on a walk or driving. also, as a total cop out, i write romance-- i get ideas from making foolish scenarios in my mind where people should fall in love and I'll never have a shortage of those.

Do you do an outline?

No! I don't. Once I have the idea, i usually start by writing the specific scene that came to me first (so for ten reasons, i wrote the voicemail scene first. i heard remus's voicemail in my mind so loud and clear and wrote it out) and i go from there. this is for my own unpacking but i almost always can see how things end in my mind before they begin (lol, isn't that a fucking metaphor; for a fun personal fact, I've always said since i was like...very little that i wasn't planning on living past 33, which is horrifying to hear out of a ten year olds mouth, but like...i still think its true). for almost all my fics, i wrote the ending first and then wrote around it. never chronologically. just everything that i want to happen and then i put it in some sort of order (i wish i could show you my doc for tight ends right now). and then i make them lead into one another.

I DO. however, do an obligatory chapter count. and i mean, so arbitrary, with no thoughts applied to it. NMTW i literally said 14 chapters, and stuck to it. this is the only structure i give myself when i write. and its my job as a writer to make sure i fit in there.

i do the same when im writing tumblr series. so like fault lines got SIX, chosen at random, and six it was. it was my job to tell that story in six parts. no more no less. (this is admittedly weird, i understand most writers dont work this way, but this actually helps me immensely. the only time i deviated was with FFTF when i added more chapters because the chapters i did have ended up being like TOO LONG in my eyes for a chapter, so i broke them up).

but also--i know other authors who DO outline and its helpful for them!! Find what works for you!!! I tried to outline once and the fic never left my drafts.

Where and when do you write?

To quote Shakira, "Whenever, Wherever"

I write a lot in parking lots on my phone. a lot of my tumblr drabbles are written on my phone and in a parking lot, ten reasons and tight ends were both started in parking lots.

otherwise on my desktop! in google docs! or if its smut, in a word doc! i write the best early in the morning or super late at night when i should be sleeping. I write when i can! Usually at my desk, or i'lll bring my laptop over and write while my kid is playing video games or we're watching something on tv. sometimes i write in the middle of my work day when i have a second in my office (this is also very quick and very on my phone). i just wrote smut at a nail salon. whenever, wherever.

Are you finishing all your stories before posting them?

yes. head to toe, top to bottom, signed sealed delivered. the stories are written before i post. this works better for me! i need to see the whole thing finished!! it also makes it very fun for me when readers are commenting and are like...in anguish, and im there like "tee hee, i know what happens next".

tumblr drabbles no. i pants those. fault lines, mercy, the pact (is part four written? nah but its started and i have no idea where its going to go!!!), the best worst thing to have ever happened-- PANTSTED. sat and written flat into the tumblr post machine. no outline, no plan, just feelings and vibes. (and yes this means that the end of fault lines was a pants decision and im very sorry it ruined everyone, whoops).

this again varies from author to author! most of my writer friends write as they go because they like to be align with the readers! or they work better chronologically and will just write and post and write and post, but again, this is something personal! do what works best for you!

Do you fact check things?

Lol sometimes? I probably should more often, tbh. I do a lot of geography fact checking because i couldn't map my way out of a paper bag, but otherwise, not...really. But also, my fics dont tend to have a lot of....information in them that needs a fact check. People are just falling in love. also, not to flex, but i have a big brain that stores a bunch of useless information and remembers a lot of things, so if i write something i usually believe myself (writing tight ends right now and putting my football knowledge to good use and there's been a few times I've been like "...hmmm" and referenced google and WE WERE RIGHT! so i mostly just trust my brain.)

Writing NMTW was also challenging because i had to reference SOURCE MATERIAL to see if there was a designated teacher for x subject, or when exactly school breaks were etc etc. but that said, i did not care about being accurate with full moons or course timestables or hogsmeade visits or anything like that. we...simply do not care. (this obviously does not apply to things that very much need fact checking such as if i were to write a medical procedure or something relating to disability or race/ethnicity/languages spoken; obviously do your homework for that.)

How long a time does it normally take you to finish a story?

Cop out-- it depends! Sometimes less than a week. (The pact is short, will be done by tomorrow most likely). I wrote ten reasons in four days. it took me 3 months to write an alleged wip though. it just....depends on my time and my schedule.

Have you ever regretted posting a story?

Sometimes! There was a moment when i was fresh on AO3 (pre-tumblr) where i got a few really nasty comments and it made me regret posting the story at all and made me regret joining AO3, and made me regret thinking my fics could be a thing or that my writing was worth sharing etc. I know I give FFTF a hard time because they're....out of pocket, but there are parts of that fic i really really like, and it seems to connect with a lot of people, so i can't have regrets about that.

i have deleted a few one shots off my AO3 though, because i decided they didn't need to be shared, but i wouldn't necessarily call that regret. just...re-evaluation.

Do you have a beta?

No. I do have one trusted person though who i send things to before i release them into the public, not as a beta but as.....a litmus test (to see how the fic reads but also for me and how i feel about sharing it in the first place; I've done it before with this person where they got something and then WEEKS later tumblr got it. Sometimes months.). I 10/10 recommend doing this. and i feel so so so so so so lucky that i found someone like that here and they tolerate my existence. but pre-tumblr, it was just me myself and i doing the thing. and also it took some time before i even trusted this person (did i mention im paranoid? and private?) to get my work because you can't take it back. and what if it didn't need to be shared? there are a few things this person has gotten that i havent and will never post. but like...im so fortunate to have that. you know?

I...am way too chaotic for a beta. and also have a very particular way i edit my stuff (because ND) and adding another person into the flow of that can get confusing. Too many cooks, you know?

Why do you write?

i saved this one for the end because my heart.

i think i've said before that like...a lot of my time as a child and a teenager and young adult in spaces was spent believing that i was a bad writer because neurodivergent and i don't understand mechanics of grammar or...words or...write in a way you're supposed to (outlines for example). and spent a lot of time giving my ideas to other people who i thought were GOOD writers.

but i...am a creative person. and sometime in 2019, i hit the biggest artist block of my life where i literally didn't draw or paint for a year. and picked up writing instead.

poetry, and then it evolved into romance, which i...turned into fic and here i am. and ultimately, i write because i like to. because its creative and it makes my brain happy when a sentence just hits, you know? because i believe in love and want to see more queer love stories and if i...can do the thing, i should, right?

i write because i...realized that i had stories in my head that needed places to go that i couldn't express visually through my artwork. also, ive mentioned it here before, that i am...young and have experienced an absurd amount of death and loss in my life (personally and professionally). and...well, i write a lot of fics about grief for that reason. i don't think i could ever run out of words for this (and have also published ACTUALLY on grief, both creatively and academically), and sometimes i write to like...sit with those feelings for a bit.

i...also think i write because i am a soft human in a very hard world in a hard career path who experiences things deeply and these things and observations need places to go. i cant carry them around all day, that's too heavy and my hands aren't big enough.

so i make art. and i dance. and i play music.

and i write.

i hope any of this is helpful. and if you get the courage to come off anon, i am more than happy to talk with you in DMS about processes or answer any more questions <3

#asks #grey answers #on writing #this is long long long long #and probably no one but this one person cares #but its here for you!!! #also anon i love you and i am cradling your head in my hands #and wishing you all the luck on your writing journey