#i guess what i was really thinking when i wrote the tag was more Similar to me. anyway. im going to bed now promise ]

[longagoitwastuesday]

I keep thinking of that reply in my Odysseus/Agamemnon post about how I regard differently Odysseus' and Agamemnon's actions, while acknowledging that at times Agamemnon is written as a sweet man and Odysseus is always straight up shitty, and how it was taken as some sort of defense for Agamemnon and as a form of pointing out the double standard; and that wasn't at all what the post was about for me, even though I can see where they were coming from. To be honest, given I didn't imagine it would spread anywhere other than my own blog, I didn't explain myself very well (or at all).

The fact is that when I talked about Odysseus not caring about hurting someone else's child to start and end a war I was indeed comparing his actions to Agamemnon's, but my words about supporting Odysseus' wrongs and cheering him in his terrible actions, while in a joking tone, weren't entirely a joke. I do think that Odysseus does some very shitty acts, and some quite terrible ones depending on the sources. That's a fact, that he does is at the core of his characterisation and it's what makes him so much fun; but not even when he is at his most cruel does he harm his family, his own son. Agamemnon, while sweet and loving at times in some texts, at his worst is willing to sacrifice Iphigenia. When readers regard with more sympathy Odysseus over Agamemnon despite both being responsible for children dying, I don't think there's a double standard in this aspect at all considering it's never his own kid Odysseus harms. And that's the key, I think.

Odysseus and Agamemnon have very different priorities, a very different view on loyalty and duty. It could be said that Agamemnon acts out of selfishness, but it could also be read in a kinder light, saying that Agamemnon is ruled by the gods first, and by his role as head of the achaeans; Agamemnon is not entirely himself. In opposition we see Odysseus acting perhaps mainly for himself and his own family and men; yes, he is a king, but he has not the role Agamemnon has. As a consequence, Agamemnon submits his family's wellbeing to the war, to the gods, while Odysseus stops the plow before hurting Telemachus but is (depending on the source) the cause of Iphigenia's sacrifice and Astyanax's death.

Both Odysseus and Agamemnon have reasons to support their actions, and both can be sympathised with; it's fiction after all. When it comes to fiction, at the end of the day which character a reader is drawn to or sympathises with is mainly an issue of personal taste, but I suppose it also implies a certain level of one's own views or preferences on morals, what makes us find certain actions more justifiable, or tasteful (perhaps that's a more accurate word), than others. Agamemnon sacrificing his daughter, no matter how sympathetic or understandable the reason, generally sits worse on people than Odysseus doing the same with someone else's kids, because they're someone else's. This different emotional reaction they provoke has place not just metanarratively, but also inside the very story; it is narratively significant, given it determines how their arrival home plays out, how their wives react to them, and thus their futures. Ultimately it determines whether they live or die.

I think both terrible acts go in line wonderfully with each characterisation, showcasing the role they hold in their world, what they value, what they care for, what they're willing to sacrifice for themselves and the others, how much of their own they're willing to give and bend. While looking at the wider picture it could perhaps be drawn that Agamemnon is the better person out of the two, but Odysseus' selfish actions are perhaps easier to empathise with, especially from a modern viewpoint. Odysseus is treacherous and prone to betrayal, but not against his own; Agamemnon follows the rules of the gods. How fitting in that context that Odysseus doesn't die at the end of his story, that he cheats the death heroes so often are fated to, almost as if cheating the narrative itself, bending the rules of the world he is ascribed to; how fitting in the context of those texts that point towards Sisyphus being his father. But that's another topic, and I've already talked a lot.

#Don't get me wrong. Odysseus is super shitty and this is a 'pick your poison' kind of situation #But I don't really think there's a double standard when it comes to the kids situation given that Odysseus doesn't sacrifice his own kid #I really think that's what lies at the core of this. Does that make him shittier and more selfish and a worse person? Actually yeah perhaps #But we are no kings with thousands of people depending on our decision yet cringe at the idea of hurting people close to us #It feels like betrayal. And this is where the moral preference takes the role. Which do you prefer? The one that would betray their family #for the greater good or the one who'd sell the world for their family and themselves? It's interesting because #while in fiction the first option is often the most frown upon while selfish actions for the beloved are easy to sympathise with‚ #in reality these are usually worse regarded. I didn't want to go there because I already wrote so much it didn't fit in the tags #but I actually think the same thing happens with Galahad/Lancelot. Heathcliff/Edgar I'd say has a somewhat similar situation going on #There are many many examples but mainly I was thinking of Galahad and Lancelot #So this is not an 'Odysseus did nothing wrong'. This is an 'Odysseus did many things very wrong but he didn't kill his son #so while both him and Agamemnon were the cause of death of kids‚ their action are not the same so there's no double standard regarding #the particular action of sacrificing Iphigenia. In fiction that kind of betrayal makes characters often unlikeable' #I guess that action 'stains' the view under which Agamemnon's actions are seen and so his character is often seen under a darker light #He is presented a bit as an antagonistic presence opposed to Achilles who is very popular so I guess that also influences this? #Anyway I've been elated by the musical causing Odysseus art and posts but I do have noticed that he is very goodified in it and that #it has influenced how he is being regarded around here (the way it happened with The Song of Achilles as well I suppose) #And I must say I like that less. He is shitty in a fun way but not in a light way. He is very shitty #Definitely not better than Agamemnon depending on the perspective you take. I can't believe I'm 'defending' Agamemnon #He is not my thing at all I'm all for selfish actions for oneself and the loved ones through manipulation‚ #lies and scams and letting the world drown if needed. In fiction Lancelot's‚ Odysseus' and Heathcliff's actions are a lot more preferible #to me than Galahad's‚ Agamemnon's and Edgar's. But yeah #I ALSO didn't want to go there because again it would have take me forever and I would run out of tags (yet here I am) #but there's also a Priam/Hector/Paris comparison in how they act and how they're regarded to be drawn here #Agamemnon/Iphigenia‚ Priam/Hector/Paris‚ Odysseus/Telemachus. And that is not even including everything with Elektra/Clytemnestra/Orestes #or Oedipus and his own family for that matter #But yes. I'll better shut up already. I'm talking a lot more than I intended #I just found that discussion super enthralling and I couldn't stop thinking about it. I still can't #I talk too much #I should probably delete this later

[sstrwbrryccke]

I SAW UR SUGAR BABY!SOOBIN FIC AND IT'S SO FUCKING HELLO ?!? could u possibly write something similar for hoon :00 (n could it be male reader :00)

HIIII thank you im glad you enjoyed it ahhsagds !!! and i have so many thoughts for sunghoon <3 i think he would be a bit more smug compared to soobin, not as obedient but playful and cute in his own way!

the ending is a little rushed because i wrote this on the airplane to shanghai 💀😭 (also not proofread so its probably really bad)

— sponsor | sub park sunghoon

tags: aspiring skater!sugarbaby!sunghoon x rich!reader, amab reader, power dynamics, praise kink, unconventional settings to have sex, soft sex, shower sex, frottage, thigh fucking, body worship

you were old money, the kind that people call 'disgustingly rich'. the type of rich family that throw galas instead of family gatherings, and that's where you met him in the first place. it was one of your many cousins' birthday, excessively wealthy and extravagant, a golden gilded hall decorated with a specially laid ice skating rink for performers. you heard your cousin had been an avid ice skating fan and wanted a live performance for his birthday.

the night had been smooth, dull as you would expect out of a bunch of old-money conservatives whose idea of humour is joking about tax evasion. but you notice just by the off-chance, a lean man clad in all black, bumping into a column, a word slips from his mouth; which you can only guess was a swear word. it was strange, he was clearly out of place. but this wasn't some wattpad story about you sweeping a mysterious man off his feet, so you shrugged and continued sipping on your champagne glass.

you only really notice him during the performance, the mass was seated in the grand hall, lights dimming as the spotlight shone; and it was seriously strange. because he wasn't even the main lead, in fact, he was one of the many backup dancers. yet you just couldn't take your eyes off him. there was something so enchanting about his elegance, you could feel his genuine dedication and passion from where he skated. when the show finished, you find yourself clapping, eyes still mesmerized as the boy leaves for the backstage.

a crowd gathers around the main leads, interested sponsorships and words of praise exchanged. while your eyes drift to the man walking off, taking a scone from the buffet stands before disappearing into the balcony. naturally, you follow after him— which in hindsight was slightly creepy because you've been practically eyeing him down. but you really wanted to spark up a conversation with this pretty boy.

when you reach the balcony, you find the backside of the man leaning on the railing. you lean next to him and he was visibly startled— so much so he dropped the scone in his hand. he does attempt to catch it— horribly, and the dessert tumbles into the void, his mouth agape. "aish..."

"ah, sorry."

"no, it's no problem! really! sir!" he quickly rectifies, aheming into his fist and waving his other hand around before looking directly in front of him. occasionally glancing at you with his eyes only. he was visibly nervous, definitely embarrassed too. he straightens his back and raises his chin, probably trying to seem professional in front of you; but you could tell with the way he clenched his jaw that he was tense. and you don't blame him, it looks like this was his first time coming to such a luxurious gala, surrounded by tons of powerful men and women who could either make or break his career.

"well, what's your name?" you offer a conversation starter, since it didn't seem like he was budging.

"i'm park sunghoon, sir!"

"nice to meet you park sunghoon, how old are you?" you ask smoothly, stretching a hand out for him to shake. he couldn't even look you in the eyes, what a shy and polite man.

he wipes his sweaty hands on his pants, before taking your hand with both of his, bowing. "nice, nice to meet you too! i'm 21 turning 22, sir."

"we're the same age, that means you don't need to call me sir."

"yes sir." he replies without much thought.

you give him a pointed look and he quickly shuts up. he was endearing in his own way though, the interaction made you smile. this man who had previously been so elegant and precise on stage was actually very timid.

"you caught my eye in the performance."

he lights up at this, turning his head to you with a small bashful smile on his lips. "thank you so much, i'm surprised you remember me."

"of course i do, couldn't keep my eyes off you in fact." you advance, tilting your head as you subtly flirt. you were into him and you wanted him to understand that. "oh." he mouthed, and it seems like he was starting to recognize the connotations of the conversation. he was still smiling, but you could see a pink tint on his pale skin.

"no, seriously. you're super talented, i want to sponsor you."

his smile drops, a shocked expression on his face instead, soon he's ecstatic. "really?"

you chuckle, "yes, really."

☆★☆

perhaps, your definition of sponsor was just sugar baby with extra steps. because soon, the two of you fall into that type of relationship. it started with a bouquet of flowers after his practice (which you went to weekly), then it became a dinner invitation, and eventually you were lavishing him with gifts and luxury items. okay, perhaps you were just courting this man in the form of presents.

you watch on the sidelines as sunghoon does his usual practice on the ice (a private ice rink you hired for him), he glances towards you with a mischievous grin before doing a silly spin. you just chuckle, shaking your head. when it was over you sling a towel over his neck like usual, handing him a water bottle. he stares at you, rather proud of himself.

"did you see the spin?"

"nah, i was looking at the wall." you joke, there was literally no one else but sunghoon to look at. "issh" he shakes his head, lightly punching your arm.

after, you treat him to a nice dinner in this expensive restaurant, he’s used to your dinner invitations, but he still can't settle his nerves coming to such a high-end restaurant. chatting with you soothed his anxiety though, and shortly he was joking and laughing like usual.

the first course was served, and you took this opportunity to slide over the blue container with the tiffany and co logo. sunghoon takes it shyly, glancing at you, you give him an encouraging look. at the beginning of this dynamic; he did try to refuse the expensive gifts, but you were insistent and sunghoon secretly enjoyed receiving the presents too.

he feels his heart thumping with excitement as he unwraps the case, a genuine surprise in his eyes when he pulls out the silver wire tiffany t bracelet. he’s been wanting it for a while now, mentioning it once casually. and you remembered! he tries it on for you; because he knows you like seeing him with your gifts. the bracelet glints in the light and he looks at you with a reserved smile.

"thank you so much... i don't know to repay you—"

"by being mine." you interrupt him, the words come out before you can even comprehend it, baffled by your impulsivity. "i'm sorry it just came out— if it makes you uncomfortable i apo—"

"yes."

you blink slowly, while he looks at you with full seriousness. and that's how sugar baby sunghoon came to be.

☆★☆

navigating the dynamic was like navigating any other romantic relationship, though sunghoon treated it like a contract at the start. unusual, but usual for sunghoon. it made you chuckle about his seriousness of the entire situation. the whole circumstance was bizarre but silly. what an endearing man. he would sit you down one day, hands clasped together.

"what are your expectations for me?"

and you snicker. he said it like it was a full-time job, which maybe it could be.

"recieve my gifts, and enjoy your best life."

he looked determined, continuing on. "is sex on the table?" he was surprisingly straightforward. it's always the quiet ones who were unexpectantly bold huh...

"if you're comfortable with that, yes." you give him a firm nod.

"i see." he pulls back, shy again.

"so, are you?" you tease, because he didn't outwardly give an answer.

he pauses, and you spot a glint in his eyes. his tongue darts out to wet his lips and his mind runs rampant. how cute.

"i am."

☆★☆

and wow was that quite literally the best decision in your entire life. everything remained the same, except now you have an extremely hot and sexy ice skater whose libido was as high as his talent. life was good. life was great.

training went as you expect, sunghoon absolutely smashed through his routine. running back to you with a proud smile, hands on his hips.

"i did pretty good, didn't i?" he always asked similar questions, pridefully, wanting to be praised.

"did you? didn't see." you would always tease him, and he would respond by playfully hitting your shoulder. the sass doesn't last long though, because the moment you two are alone in the locker room that's when you go down on him, embracing him as his lovely quiet moans seep out from your kiss.

it should be classified as an addiction at this point, the amount of unconventional places you guys had done it in. collecting locations like pokemon cards. it was tame at first, or tame for your standards anyway. the first time was in the hotel, of course, but after that, you went straight for the ice rink. its not exactly public, as you had rented the entire private rink for your beautiful ice prince, but the setting itself was scandalous. just imagining the sanction that housed many hours of his talent, being dirtied by his sweat in another sense was downright sinful. sunghoon never complained however, because as long as you praise him, he was satisfied. boy was he a sucker for praise, he keens when you whisper in his ear, almost over the moon when you compliment him on his skating. he would moan unashamedly, (normally he would block his moans or whimper) and you respond by spreading his legs in clear view of the ice rink. slam him down and feel his back arch prettily against your chest.

sunghoon was contradictorily both shy and straightforward when it came to his words and actions during sex. he's quiet and sometimes downright refuses to moan or beg. yet when he's close he would straight-up demand things from you. when you fold his flexible body in half and ram into his sensitive hole, he would spread wider for you (which you thought was physically impossible but he proves you wrong), yet bashfully hides himself when you praise him. he was a man full of contradictions, but it really drove you wild.

but it wasn't all about sex anyway, sex made up barely half of it, because it was really all about him. sunghoon just had a soul that was born to attract you. he's introverted and reserved with others, which explains why he doesn't attract sponsors or gain lead roles, but underneath it all was such a uniquely endearing man with a strong ambition for his passions.

you absolutely loved spoiling this boy and watching his reactions; him wearing the items you brought for him just gave you that extra dose of serotonin. when the two of you made it official, he was just so much more ecstatic with each gift he received from you. it wasn't even the gifts themselves that pleased him so much, it was the care you gave that really hit the mark for him. that burberry scarf he eyed for a few minutes? woke up to it on his lap. the prada bag he briefly mentioned he thought was fashionable? on the kitchen counter. you just paid so much attention to him, and he felt so loved.

you supported him in his ice skating career too, attending every competition he's been in and always making sure to watch over at least one of his daily practices a week. he had big ambitions and eventually wanted to compete in the olympics, which you had no doubts he would achieve.

gradually, you wanted to integrate him into your life too, though it was hard to explain to your parents the logistics behind taking a 'common ice skater' with you everywhere. you two managed to keep a low profile.

and by everywhere, you meant everywhere. you brought him to tennis and golf practices, he struggled with golf but had fun with tennis. and you brought him to basically every single gala and ball your family tree hosted. it was enjoyable at first, but introverts do what introverts do and he gradually voiced how he preferred quieter, more intimate meetings with you. in which you decided to only bring him to the important galas. (maybe every single one was a bit overkill) but he was so right because intimate stay-ins with him were so much better and more peaceful compared to your hectic everyday life. he was a very mindful and health-conscious person, so you often find yourself doing stretches and going to the gym with him. it was absolute zen. plus, there was the bonus of you slowly snaking your arms behind him, kissing his neck and lips as much as you want without worrying about public perception.

☆★☆

you can tell something was bothering him, with the way he fidgeted and dazed off in your shared hotel room. anyone in his position would he nervous, after all, he was competing for the olympics! through much hard-work from his side and endless support from yours, he qualified for the olympic team after winning nationals with flying colours. you knew he had it in him, you knew since the first day you met.

“hoon, you nervous?” you ask, coming up behind him to rub at his shoulders. he gives you a small smile before sighing. “a little.”

you pull him into a hug, your chest pressed towards his back. he relaxes slightly. “want to talk about it baby?” you stroke his stomach, trying to soothe him.

“it’s silly,” he gives you a half smile. you slap his thigh lightly “issh!”

“it’s not silly, tell me.” you pout, kissing his neck. he laughs as you lavish his neck with lovebites.

“i’m just worried that i’m going to lose.” he says in-between giggles. you temporarily stop your assault in his neck, lifting your head to look at him.

“you won’t lose baby, and even if you do, just being in the team is already an amazing feat. most people go their whole lives without even touching olympic level.”

he seemed a little reassured by this, but you could tell his mind was still swirling with other thoughts. you kiss his cheeks, waiting for him to open up about it himself.

“it’s just, if i lose, im wasting all your effort and money.”

you finally pause at this, giving him a look. “what? how am i wasting effort and money on you?”

he seemed a little nervous, gulping down his saliva. “i mean, you invested so much into me, the least i could do is win.” you were shocked, was he dense or stupid? maybe a little bit of both. you roll your eyes as you lift him in your arms. he lets out a startled gasp as you bring him to the bathroom. you face him towards the mirror, grasping at his chin so he looks directly into his eyes.

“do you see this? what a gorgeous, beautiful, godly man.” you whisper in his ear and you watch his cheeks blossom a scarlet red. your hands trail down to his chest, unbuttoning the top.

“wow, look at that. so pretty, so soft and perfect.” you knead his chest, flicking at his pink nipples before moving down, massaging his toned stomach. he was staring at the parts your hand were drifting to as you fondle him. you kiss the shell of his ear, making him shiver “hngh…”

your fingers trail down, you lick your lips at his delicious reactions. palming at his erection. “every part of you is so pretty. such nimble arms and thighs, no wonder you’re so good at ice skating. everything about you is just so lovable.”

he was trembling, glancing into your eyes in the mirror and you could tell he wanted you to continue. “don’t you get it already? you really think i brought all those gifts, paid all those lessons and sponsored you because it was an investment?” you whisper, he turns his face to meet with yours, taking your lips desperately.

“i love you.” he whispers breathily into the kiss, that was the first time any of you said that sentence. he freezes, anxiety filling his face.

“i love you too, hoon.” you french kiss him, your tongue darting out to lick at his bottom lip, he reciprocates gladly.

“i love you i love you i love you so so much.” he stammers, grinding his ass against your hardening cock. “i love you too baby, you have no idea how much i love you.” you grunt into his ear, sliding your dick out from your underwear. the both of you were barely clothed in the first place.

“hngh put it in already please,” he’s never been this vocal before, you felt your cock twitch just at the desperation in his voice. but you controlled yourself, he had a skating competition tomorrow after all.

“hoonie the olympics is tomorrow.” he whines and you chuckle fondly. spoiled brat.

“put your thighs together.” you give his ass a light slap, he listens and puts his thighs closely. you could see his dripping cock through the small gap. “good boy.” you praise and he rubs his thighs together.

not waiting any longer, you slip your hard cock between his thighs, groaning lowly at the sensation. god it felt so good, he clearly thinks so too because he immediately whimpers, pushing back at your dick. you let him adjust to the sensation before slowly thrusting against his thigh.

“angh... ugh… so good… love you… love you…” he whimpered, panting softly. you pull his head to the side to kiss him again, hand grasping at both of your cocks and he cries into your mouth. you thrust harder and faster, he reciprocates happily by clenching his thighs tighter. soon his stomach was squeezing and his pants became breathier.

“gonna come, can i come? please? please?” and who were you to resist your prince?

“come for me hoonie, come for me.”

his thighs stutter and he clenches his teeth as a strangled voice comes out. he came in spurts, long and thin. you wish you could taste his pretty semen as well but thats for another time. you slip your cock out from his thighs, jerking yourself off and coming all over his ass and back.

it was arousing and you could almost go again, but he needed rest so you tenderly kissed his back, cleaning him up.

“i’m going to win for you.” he says breathily while you were wiping him down, you look at him amused, chuckling.

“don’t do it for me, do it for yourself.”

“no, this seriously motivated me to win. i’m going to win the olympics and then we’re going to have the most mind-blowing sex ever.”

you guys share a look before laughing.

☆★☆

everyone could hear the thumping of their own hearts as they waited for the results to unveil. sunghoon grasps your hand and you give him a squeeze.

before you could process it, you were ecstatically cheering, turning to sunghoon. the man beside you was in genuine shock, staring at his high score as if it was an alien on earth. holy shit, he got the highest score and he’s in first place!!!

snghoon lunges for you, tumbling you out of your chair as he tightly hugs you. not like you cared about the people staring, because you shared the excitement. you hug him back just as tightly, stroking his back. you feel the crook of your neck and shoulder wet.

after a few seconds, you help him stand and he wipes his eyes with an embarrassed smile. you couldn’t stop grinning as he received his medal.

☆★☆

sunghoon was able to keep both of his promises that day. the moment you two arrived in the hotel, you had a very needy sunghoon clinging around you neck, drawing you into a deep kiss as you navigate around the room.

you manage to peel him off for a second, to undress him and yourself, stumbling into the shower. you adjust the water while sunghoon unrelentlessly grinds against your cock.

“hn, god please! ive been wanting this since yesterday, ive been so good, so good, please reward me” he whimpers quietly and you melt. you grasp his hips tightly, pulling his back flush against your chest and you grind down his ass. he groans, hands propped on the shower wall for support.

your finger plays with his rim and he whines, prodding the hole before inserting. you were careful, treating his body like porcelain as you coo into his ear. he was so desperate, willingly giving up his sweet voice for you to hear. you add another finger and he was now fully rutting against you, eyes closed as he fucked himself on your fingers. it was an endearing sight, but you pull out, slapping your cock on his ass.

“what do you want again?” you play innocent, chuckling at his offended expression. he groans, frustratedly pushing back at your cock.

“you know what i want! i want you inside me please!” he whines out and you laugh. you give him what he wants, slipping your cock into his tight hole, groaning as you feel his gummy walls enclose around you.

“you feel so good sunghoon, such a pretty boy.” you coo into his ear and he clenches his thighs tighter. you thrust into him, each one faster and harder than the previous one and he was in actual heaven. tongue lolling out as he groans with each motion, it didn’t take long until he was crying out a strangled coming.

you weren’t done with him yet though, you prop his flexible legs up, making him sink deeper into your cock as he chokes. before he could protest you start nailing into him, hitting his prostate so well and on point that he visibly crumbles, hands desperately grabbing at anything as his cock sputters out another load.

his eyes were wide as he watches his dick cry uncontrollably, while you adjust behind him, ready to piston into him all over again. oh boy was he in for a wild ride…

that’s how the night progressed, you plummeting his ass in the shower, and then at the bathroom counter, then you moved him to the hotel bed, forcing him to ride you until he couldn’t prop himself up anymore.

his body slumps over yours, exhausted and overstimulated, thighs trembling and nerves sputtering. but you still moved beneath him and he cries “can’t! can’t, hurts please it feels too good.”

you grin into his skin, jerking his cock a few times and he comes again. body limp. you pull out and the warm semen in his hole dribble out. just as you try to move to clean him up, his arms tightly wind around your waist.

“stay here.” it was a demand from your ice prince and you snicker.

“anything for the olympic winner.”

#fic ☆ #ask ☆ #anon ☆ #sub sunghoon #sub!sunghoon #sub!enhypen #sunghoon hard hours #sunghoon hard thoughts #sunghoon x reader #sunghoon x y/n #enhypen hard headcanons #enhypen hard thoughts #sub enhypen #enhypen hard hours #sub!idol #sub idol #sunghoon x you #enhypen x reader #kpop x male reader

[jinkookspencil]

i just don't understand pt 2

in which jungkook does not understand how his friend doesn't have a crush on namjoon

a drabble sequel to the drabble 'i just don't understand' -

i'd say you need to read that first, it's just 500 words but if you really don't want to, i included the last bit of dialogue at the beginning of this fic i dont care if drabbles can't have sequels, it just worked out this way lmao

description/tags: jungkook drabble / fluff / friends to lovers / ~900 words / jk comes off a little more insecure here but it kind of works because i'd always imagined this as a younger version of him / hope you enjoy!! / it's been a while since i wrote anything but i have a recent writing update i recently shared (this is *not* the jk thing i am currently working on - i hope to have that done for his birthday!)

+

“What the hell are you attracted to?” Jungkook laughs. “Ugly, stupid, mean, untalented guys?”

“Of course not, Jungkook,” you sigh. “I like other handsome, smart, kind, respectful guys.”

“Like who?”

“Like YOU!”

This was not how you imagined confessing. 

“Like…. Like me?!”

Dropping the plushie in his hands, Jungkook gestures to himself in disbelief.

“I said like you, Jungkook,” you emphasize, hoping it wasn’t too late to back out of your frustration-fueled confession.

“So…. Not me?”

What the fuck were you supposed to say now?! You pick up the teddy bear and tug at its pink fur, staring at its face and hoping the bear’s smile would turn into a murderous one, killing you and waking you up from this anxiety-inducing nightmare. 

Jungkook calls your name quietly and quickly, bringing you back life.

“Like you. You, Jungkook. I like you.”

“Over… over Namjoon?” he winces, and you do too. It was the most humiliating way someone could have responded to a confession…. hoping you’d fall in love with someone else instead. 

“Yes, Jungkook. Over Namjoon," you reply with your head in your hands.

“So all those things you said to describe him… handsome, smart, you think that of me too?”

“Yeah, of course,” you chuckle, finally looking up at him, “that and so much more, actually.”

“But there’s a difference? Between what you think of me and what you think of Namjoon-hyung?”

“Oh, there’s a big difference.”

“You described the both of us with the same string of adjectives, though….”

Jungkook was a clever guy…. Why was he acting so stupid?

“Who cares if you share some similar qualities?! I am not attracted to Namjoon. Period. I am attracted to you, Jeon Jungkook. The person born on September 1, 1997, who always wears black, loves karaoke, samgyeopsal, the movie Titanic, and the scariest fucking theme park rides! The Jeon Jungkook that’s sitting right in front of me. You.”

Jungkook's breath is shaky, his voice the same when he speaks. “I just find it hard to believe…. Not Namjoon. And not only that - me over Namjoon….”

“I don’t know how to explain it in more words, Koo…. I like you. I like you in the way that people have crushes on each other. You make my heart flutter while also putting it at ease. I like you.”

The boy in front of you doesn’t say anything, merely stiffens his posture, and you know it only meant the worst.

“This…. This calls for the end of our friendship doesn’t it?” you mumble, voice breaking and bubbling, ready to burst into tears.

“No…. No, absolutely not….” he says, breaking out of his catatonic state to sit next to you on the couch and hug your plushie once again. “Let me explain something this time… You know how I gush over Namjoon?”

“Of course,” you groan, and Jungkook rolls his eyes.

“And I always try to understand why you aren’t attracted to him… right?”

“Yeah…”

“I know Namjoon and I are not the exact same. Of course I do, that’s why I look up to him and keep recommending him to you and I guess… I guess it’s because in my head, I was trying to convince myself that you had to go for guys like Namjoon… because you’d never go for guys like me…”

“…. And what do you mean by guys like you?” 

“Guys that have nothing in common with you. You say Namjoon and I are both handsome and smart... But in truth, you and he share the similarities and I could never compete. You're both beautiful in the 'once-in-a-lifetime' kind of way. You're both clever in the book-ish way - do you know you have the exact same books as he does? I bought a book two weeks ago to try and impress you but I haven’t gotten past the introduction so I was too ashamed to even tell you. Oh, that one time, you both recommended the same drama series to me… on the same day. I thought for sure that you’d hooked up and seen it together, and that’d be that. But then you called me crying when it ended, wrapped up in your fluffy pink blanket in bed with chips.”

“You asked me why I didn’t call Namjoon…”

“And you said ‘why would I?’… Even if you weren't hooking up, I could’ve given you a million reasons as to why you could've called him instead. That drama was too artsy for me, but not for either of you. I didn’t even understand what you were saying on the phone that day - the message behind the story, or whatever - I was just so happy that you’d called and that you’d think I’d get it.” 

Jungkook lets out a laugh as he shakes his head. For some reason, it breaks your heart.

“I tried to make ‘you and Namjoon’ happen because it’s the only logical thing I could see in front of me…… The only answer I could come up with… You’re… the most wonderful person I’ve ever known, YN. I want what’s best for you - you deserve the best kind of guy there is…. and that’s definitely Nam-“

You push your lips against Jungkook’s, interrupting him with a kiss.

“It’s you, Jungkook. You’re the best fucking person I know.” You kiss him again. “I’d pick you a million times over.”

“Well, what if-“

“Can we forget about Namjoon entirely for a moment? I want the boy I like to shut up and kiss me…. If you want to, that is.”

Jungkook’s smile turns into one you rarely see. A smirk, devilish, menacing…. Delectable as he nods and meets you with a deep kiss, electrifying every inch of your body.

You were always a know-it-all and you'd been right once again: this was always the boy for you.

#bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts fic #bts scenario #bts scenarios #jungkook fanfic #bts fluff #jungkook scenarios #jungkook fic #jungkook drabble #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader #bts drabble #bts one shot #bts reaction #bts reactions #jungkook reaction #jungkook reactions #jeon jungkook x reader

[maochira]

hii, so I know you don’t write angst for Itoshi bros anymore but PLS I am begging u to write a fic for the Itoshi bros but can u write HCS about how the reader moved out a long time a go and they didn’t know and both of the brothers came home on a break (after u-20 match) and the reader wasn’t their only the parents?? I love ur platonic HCS so muchhhhhhhhh

I still write angst for the Itoshi bros!! Just sometimes I don't do requests if they're too similar to what I already wrote hndndnssjjs

Requests open! - Itoshi sibling masterlist

Tags: gn!oldest Itoshi sibling!reader, not really angst but a bit sad I guess?

(A/N: sometimes people request a part 2 for things but uh,, please don't request one for this!! I enjoyed writing it but I don't want to write another "Itoshi brothers apologise after figuring out what they did wrong" because I already wrote something like that!!)

Rin was so excited to see you again. When he entered the house, he immediately saw your shoes and jacket weren't in their usual place. Not only the pair of shoes you wore daily, but all of them. It confused him, but he shrugged it off. After leaving his things in his room, he went to yours. Rin was shocked to see it so empty. Not only were you gone, but also all of your belongings. Only a bit of furniture was left, but everything from your shelves was gone. He asked your parents where you and all your things were and they told him you moved out a while ago, it hurt him a lot. He didn't mind you moving out that much because he knew it was going to happen at some point, but he was incredibly hurt by the fact that you didn't even tell him about it. A phone call or a text message would have been enough for him, but you just left without

Sae came home a bit earlier than Rin, and he couldn't believe you moved out already. Even though you're older, he always saw himself as your protector when you were younger. And sure, the contact between him and you went pretty dry when he went to Spain, but he always thought he'd be the first to know about something as important as this. It made him wonder if he ever did something that made you think he wouldn't care or if anything happened that made you distance yourself this much. It hurt him, but what hurt even more was wondering if he did anything wrong.

#bllk #blue lock #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #blue lock x you #bllk x you #blue lock headcanons #bllk headcanons #rin itoshi #itoshi rin #rin x reader #rin x you #itoshi rin x reader #itoshi rin x you #sae itoshi #itoshi sae #sae x reader #sae x you #sae itoshi x reader #sae itoshi x you #itoshi brothers #itoshi bros

[joviepog]

Okay, I’m finally (kinda) back! I wrote a little siren x reader story based on a song! Hope you enjoy!

-ᰔ-ᰔ-ᰔ-ᰔ-ᰔ-ᰔ-ᰔ-ᰔ-ᰔ

People I don’t like

Warnings: Cursing, Arson, mention of people checking each other out, fire, mentions of screams, alcohol

Who: Siren x Reader

Pronouns: She / they

Word count: 1,137

Tag list: @gaytoadwithapopsicle @corner-of-void @danny-yagami @loversj0y @ax-y10 @lanaxoxoxoxoxox @haunted-headset @phxntomsdusk

Anything else: It’s been a while since I’ve written! Please excuse any errors and bad spelling! I will try to write as much as possible during this Christmas Break! :D

This story is NOT proofread.

Listen to this as you read!

“Hello. It’s so good to see you!”

You hear a cheery yet smug voice behind you as you smoke a cigarette. Great. You get partnered with him out of all people? Like seriously, siren out of all people?

“We’ve met before but nice to meet you.”

You say with a fake smile as he walks in front of you. He’s wearing his masquerade mask which is a dark blue. Similar to his regular villain costume. He wears a black suit and his hair is slick back, a new look.

“Yeah, i dont really wanna be here.”He says with a sigh

You nodded and suddenly launch at him to knock him out. If you can, you can get all the money. But as soon as you got close you him, he grabbed your hand and pinned you to the wall.

He smirks as he looks down at you which only made you roll your eyes. “What’s my name? Do you remember?”

You scoff and give him an innocent smile, “I’m pretty sure you have my number.”

He backs off, “So let’s pretend we like each other.”

The two of you walk in to a big room made of what seems like gold. There are big windows that open to multiple balconies, there is one large door that opens to an outside area. The roof is high and there are chandeliers everywhere you look. People with fancy dresses and suits fill the area.

“This room is so suffocating.” You whisper to Siren. He tightens his tight on his suit and shrugs. “Walking on ice, but nobody breaks it.” He winks at you before walking off to talk to people. You follow suit and walk uncomfortably with your big dress to the bar area. This oldish man comes up to you, complimenting your body and outfit. You hated it but kept your cool. You were stuck in this one way conversation.

‘Guess i’ll be here for a while.’ You thought.

He starts talking about his paycheck, blowing smoke in your face.

You take a shot with a fake smile as you look at him, excusing yourself before taking another round.

You talk to a couple more people, making friendly banter. The only goal you had was to get everyone on your side and to distract people from the vault. Your coworkers are working to steal as much money as possible. You let out a sigh as you tune out the lady’s words.

‘Everybody in the party’s fucking fake. I really wish i could say it to this lady’s face. But i wont. So…’ you think before talking to someone new.

“Hello it’s so good to see you!” You say to a man

“It’s nice to meet you!” You say to another man only 10 minutes later.

“What’s my name? Do you remember?” You say with a smile to the first guy you talked to at the bar.

“I’m pretty sure you have my number.” You say with a wink to a random man.

‘Let’s pretend we like each other.’ You think at almost the people you’ve talked to.

You wonder if Sireb is doing well with the lady’s . You stole a couple things from the men you had talked to for yourself to sell.

You come up to a woman and compliment her shoes. Then only a minute later you ask to know more about another lady.

Your job was hard, but you loved to act like you cared when really you dont give any shits.

As you talk to another man you see Siren flirt with a girl, having her pinned up to a wall. You scoff in disgust before looking away. Why did it make your heart pound? The lady your talking to is going in and on about herself. You keep on a smile but you scoff at her.

‘Can’t you bother someone else?’ You think.

Only 2 hours in and you’ve made a large amount of progress. You now have a group of people around you. They were interested in you.

You make a quick toast, “Raise a glads if you like me!” They all cheer and raise their glasses. You smile and take a sip of your drink, everyone joins in. Siren comes up behind you and you smirk, you could smell the alcohol off him from a mile away. “You’re getting trashed ‘cause you can’t leave?” You look at him in your seat, he’s standing behind you. You felt like a queen

“Guess we’re in this together.” He says as he looks down at you.

“Makes my head hurt.”

You get up and excuse yourself from the crowd, now walking with him. He might be drunk but he still looks composed and he’s still doing his job. He just randomly blurts things out..

“Everybody in this party’s fucking fake.”

You smirk, “And so am i, but we just go here so we gotta show some face.” You give him a laugh and he laughs along. You both walk away from each other before finding someone else to talk to.

“Hello it’s so good to see you.”

“We’ve met before but nice to meet you.”

“What’s my name? do you remember?”

“I’m pretty sure you have my number.”

“Let’s pretend we like each other.”

Suddenly you and Siren get a message from your ear piece that they got everything. You excuse yourself in last time before running away with Siren.

“Finally, We’re done.” He says with an exhausted sigh. “Not me.” You shrug

His eyes widen and he looks at you. “Wait, what?”

You wink at him before running away. It only takes you about 5 minutes to set gasoline around some of the building. Suddenly your coworkers show up.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?”

“YOU’RE GONNA RUIN THE PLAN!”

You shrug and give them a smirk. “Oh well.”

You grab the lighter from my pocket and set the place on fire.

“Cya.” You run off, taking off the fancy dress and wearing your costume from underneath. As you run you see smoke and fire in the distance. Screams filling your ears. You smirk as you run away. Hopefully that gives the villains a distraction so that you could escape.

That doesn’t matter though.

You know they’re weak.

Once you get to an alley way you open your pocket to see that everything you stole was gone.

“Wait. What the heck?” You start to look all around you before you hear a voice.

“Looking for these?” Siren. He dangled the watched, necklaces, and bracelets that you had stolen.

He walks up to you, grabs your hand, and opens it. He places the stolen items in your hand before walking away.

“Next time Darling, be more careful with the things you steal.” He looks you up and down. “Also, be more mindful of the chance that people can follow you.”

He smiles at you before running off.

And you’re left there, furious.

And yet you’re blushing.

Why were you blushing?!?

If you don’t want to be tagged please private message me!

#dream smp x reader #dream smp x yn #dream smp x you #dsmp x reader #dsmp x you #myct x reader #myct x yn #myct x you #wilbur soot x reader #Wilbur soot x yn #Wilbur soot x you #Wilbur x reader #Wilbur x yn #wilbur x you #dsmp x yn #sirenbur x reader #sirenbur x you #sirenbur x yn #siren x reader #siren x you #siren x yn #clinic #dream smp #dsmp #myct #Wilbur soot #Wilbur #sirenbur #siren #Tommyinnit’s clinic for supervillains

[piggyjeans]

Can you do a Ryan Reynolds x teen reader? Maybe Ryan is in an interview and talks about how cool it is to work with the reader in a movie they are filming together and how he thinks of them as a daughter/son and is kind of like their mentor? And tag me in it please

Ryan reynolds x teen!reader, ryan reynolds x coworker reader, platonic ryan reynolds :P

(A/n) Hey! Ya ofc :) sorry it took a while to respond, and sorry this is kinda short I’m just trying to push through a bunch of requests as quickly as I can. I also didn’t proof read this so if there’s any problems lmk and yeah!!!! Also this isn’t my fav or anything. I wrote it super quick and I feel like it sucks ass so yeah let me know what u think please. Comments or likes or reblogs encourage me sm. Also lmk if u wanna be added to my tag list x <3 enjoy!

Requested by: @shycollectionwolfstuff

Warnings: maybe like mentions neglect or loneliness during childhood bc of acting but it’s not really that sad or graphically explained or anything. Aside from that I don’t think anything but correct me if I’m wrong <3

Readers pronouns: they/them

You thoroughly enjoyed working with ryan. You had similar senses of humor and it was rare to find an adult who treated you like an equal human even though you were a lot younger than him.

During filming, you created a special bond. And on the press tour, you spent most of your days together and the bond only became stronger. Having done two interviews earlier in the day, you were now onto your third. And sometimes it can get really repetitive and difficult. Ryan knows that’s discouraging for you, so he always tries to make it more interesting for you if he can. That includes spicing the conversation up with humor, or telling jokes, or making sure he has a different answer every time even if the same questions are being asked.

The interviewer walks into the room you and Ryan are sitting in for the third time. You sulk into your seat slightly, not particularly looking forward to this boring aspect of the press tour. You give him a big smile to try to hide the fakeness you feel.

“Hello, how are you?” The interviewer asks, shaking Ryan's hand, then yours.

“Never better,” You say happily. The interviewer smiles back at you genuinely. Guess it’s understandable why you became such a big actor who got to work with Ryan reynolds.

“Really? I’m tired as hell,” Ryan exasperates looking over at you, before mimicking your sulk in your chair. You sit up straight and raise your eyebrows, giving the interviewer an unbelievable smile. You were always taught to be professional in interviews and workplaces. It’s difficult to be when you’re around ryan.

“Long day?” The interviewer asks jokingly, looking between you and ryan. You giggle and nod. Ryan closes his eyes sleepily.

“Alright, then. Let’s get this show on the road so y’all can get out of here,” The interviewer says. It’s always good when you have an interviewer who can play along with a joke. Ryan sits up, content with the predicament.

“So, how long did it take to film this movie? I heard there was a lot of trouble with production time, did that affect your work schedules?” The interviewer asks, suddenly dropping his joking attitude.

You start to answer the question without a glance at Ryan, since you both would rather get the interview over with. “It took about four straight months of work to wrap. Production took a halt because of covid, but not even the directors were really working at that time. So from start to finish it probably took four months,” You say professionally. Ryan glances at you, then at the interviewer, “what they said,” he added.

“Right so, you two only worked with each other for about four months, or?” The interviewer says lightheartedly. Again, you take the question right away, “Well, no. Filming started before the pandemic hit the United States. So we actually quarantined together for a little while before we had to abandon ship and go back to our respective families, you know? But after restrictions were let up, we got back together to film, and then we both caught covid at one point, so we actually had to quarantine together for a second time,” you say, laughing, looking over at ryan who sat with his hands in his lap, looking at you with a proud and genuine small smile on his face.

Whenever you watched interviews or anything of the two of you, you noticed that he usually just sits and listens to you contently whenever you speak. He enjoys listening to you and being around you, and it makes you feel really good

“Wow. So, how was it working and spending that much time together? You two have a huge age difference and I imagine it could have been like a culture shock, because of how different the two of you seem,” The interviewer asks, mostly to you, occasionally glancing at ryan.

“Well actually,” you start to take the question but Ryan cuts you off this time. “No no, you got the last two questions. This one’s mine,” He spoke. You look at the interviewer and smile, sitting back in your seat almost humiliated. You didn’t want to ramble on or take the thunder away from Ryan, and now you’re worried he’s upset with you or something you said.

“A lot of people said it might be difficult to work with y/n because of how young they are, but I think that makes it even better. I get to learn about them and their whole generation every time I speak to them. They teach me things that I never could have understood if I never met them, and I’m lucky to have worked with them. If you keep working with the same people… like Hugh Jackman for example… ugh, hate that guy. Anyways, it’ll get boring. But with y/n, they’re so cool that you never really get tired of working with them. And I would work with them again if given the opportunity. They’re one of the coolest actors ever. Cooler than Hugh Jackman, for sure.”

Ryan rambles quickly. You stay sitting back in your seat, trying really hard to not let tears cloud your vision. You’re 15, don’t cry over this, be mature, you think to yourself, fighting the cloudy eyes.

It’s just difficult for you because you started acting at a young age and a lot of people don’t ever encourage you or tell you what you’re doing right. People are so uncomfortable with being honest and usually actors are only in it to do their job and not create relationships or bond at all, and as a kid, or a teenager it’s hard because you’re already giving up a lot of your life and a lot of socializing for this. It’s necessary to have someone like Ryan in your life who isn’t afraid of encouraging you or lifting you up. Especially when nobody else does.

“Thanks.” You mutter, looking down at your hands in your lap. Feeling like you experienced severe emotional whiplash. You want to give Ryan a big hug and spend time with him, something that’s not professional at all. You can’t wait for these interviews to be over, but you remember you have to finish said interviews before you can be so honest with ryan. Unless you answer the same way he did, now.

“Well, I’ve never worked with someone as special as Ryan. It sucks I worked with him so early in my career because now No one will ever live up to the expectations I’ve formed because of him. He’s taught me half of the things I know and it’s been an honor to have him as not only a co worker, but a mentor. And even after the press tour and everything is over, I know the relationship we have will never be over. Because he cared enough to put work into me and I know he can’t just give all that up. He’s a narcissist so he probably wants to see how I turn out so he can like, brag about me or something. Always caught up in his own head,” you finish comedically to try to give your speech a similar feel to his.

You look at Ryan and he has tears in his eyes. “My heart.” He dramatically and jokingly says, fanning his eyes, then leaning over to hug you. You close your eyes and smile into his shoulder as the interviewer sits there motionlessly, smiling at the picture in front of him.

Two interviews to go, then the day is over.

-

..

-

Taglist: @ohworm-writes @spidyyparker @littlemortals @americaarse LMK IF U WANNA BE ADDEDDD :) <333333 have a great day x

#ryan reynolds #ryan reynolds x daughter! reader #ryan reynolds x you #ryan reynolds x reader #ryan reynolds x teen! reader #wade wilson x daughter!reader #wade wilson x teen! reader #wade wilson x reader #wade wilson #deadpool x daughter! reader #deadpool x reader #deadpool x teen!reader #deadpool #free guy #the adam project #ryan #reynolds #blake lively #ryan reynolds and blake lively #blake lively and ryan reynolds #yassss #marvel cast #marvel #horray #you’re just just just wasting time something happens and I’m head over heels

[malt-rants-and-stuff]

MALT today I was maladaptively daydreaming (as one does) about kghr fantasy AUs and I was thinking... an assassin AU would be neat. But why would one of them be an assassin and how would they actually meet.

This thought process leads to -> what if hirano became Kagi's body guard but all along he's supposed to assassinate him in the end -> wait a minute.. betrayal... I've seen the name of a similar concept somewhere... -> Knight's betrayal??? -> WAIT A MINUTE WASN'T THERE A MALT AU CALLED KNIGHT'S BETRAYAL AU

WHAT IS THE KNIGHT'S BETRAYAL AU, MALT, I NEED TO KNOW MORE NOW THAT I REMEMBERED I'VE SEEN YOU TAG IT BEFORE

okay first of all, that sounds like such a fun au and the timeline between all of your thoughts is hilarious lol

second of all, don't think I've ever actually fully explained what's up with knights betrayal on here oops. that's on me haha I'm used to just letting people guess what my brainwaves mean. I'll try my best to explain!! continuing under the cut :)

okay so the basic break down of knight's betrayal is that kagiura, a child of a famous and well-respected family of knights, spends his days guarding the third prince of his empire (niibashi) after war has broken out on the eastern half of the continent. he was sent there by his family a year prior to keep him away from the harsh realities of battle and has stayed there until now.

hirano, on the other hand, is a different story. having grown up working for a lesser known noble's household and being drafted at an early age, hirano is a talented swordsman forced to retreat from the front lines after being mortally wounded and losing his left eye. he is given a choice by his captain afterwards: either retire early and be taken back to his old household, or work as an inside man to send information back and forth from the battlefield to the palace. stubborn and not willing to return to his old life, he chooses the latter.

this all leads up to their first ever meeting, when hirano walks into the palace where niibashi lives and delivers a message to his staff while kagiura is standing guard by the prince's side. there isn't much to say about this meeting, since afterwards kagi leaves with niibashi while hirano is taken to the medical wing to receive proper treatment for his eye and other wounds he gained while traveling. then they dont see each other for at least another month and a half ^.^

my main thing with KB is that i want it to be short but feel large, so the story takes place over a large span of time and is only about 20-30ish chapters give-or-take? lots of it is still drafts and things probably will change so i wouldn't get attached to that figure but yeah. it is just generally an excuse to write kagihira as two people who seem to be similar but are from such wildly different backgrounds and hold such different views of the world that it leads to them misunderstanding a lot about their relationships and conversations haha. also gay ass knights.

then, of course, there is the betrayal that comes along with knight's betrayal. Obviously. i will say that the politics are a huge part of the story, but kagiura "unreliable narrator who has been sheltered by his family and never been made to see real battle" akira isn't really focused on all of that. he is aiming for his strangers to lovers mysterious bad-boy with golden heart romance and is not about to let things like "lineage" and "suspicious behaviors" get in the way of that. unfortunately for him, hirano has not gotten the memo and will use every opportunity to sniff out strange faces and rumors that hold a little too much weight.

there's plenty of other things too, like sasamiya bakery romance and shirahama starting a great revolt. there's a side story i wrote ages ago that i have to resist spoiling centered around hanzawa the bookkeeper and tashiro the informant. kuresawa and his girlfriend are acting out romeo and juliet across the continent. poor bodyguard ogasawara is trying and failing to keep archivist eimi from lighting things on fire in the name of her sacred tomes. makimura gets arrested for slandering the emperor. everyone is having a bit of fun :>

the exciting thing about KB's story that has me frothing at the mouth though is that it is in the very end a Tragedy. not in a "everyone is going to die" way necessarily, but everything happens for a reason. everything has consequences. everything.

i'm so excited just getting to talk about it tbh! its been such a silly little thing in my mind for the longest time so its awesome to get to share a bit of it :)))

#this is mainly explaining what happens before the story even starts but yknow. its relevant. #sorry i took a bit to answer my printer exploded and i had to deal with that ^^ hope this kinda gave you an idea of what's going on #im not the best at explaining and this is pretty ramble-y in my eyes but oh well #malt asks #kagiura-akira #knight's betrayal au #knights betrayal au #hirano to kagiura #malt wips #htk au #also if you see typos no you dont

[morningberriesao3]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

tysm to @runninriot for the tag. tbh i often don’t do these things ‘cause I never have anyone else to tag to keep the chain going, but this one is too fun not to 💕

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

currently—13. 10 are completed, 2 are old wips, 1 is my current wip. baker’s dozen.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

431, 629 and counting 😳

3. What fandoms do you write for?

stranger things, exclusively. no other fandom inspires me the same way.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Many Ways, Many Days, to Say ‘I Love You’

Dirty Words

Done Deal

Sneaky Link

Sweet Surrender

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

YES. omg i will always respond to a comment because they make me wildly happy. although sometimes (currently), i feel too overwhelmed to reply right away and i end up with an overflowing inbox. right now i have 200 unanswered comments that i WILL reply to 😂

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

as far as finished fics, Hate the Way It Feels So Good has, i guess, the most unsatisfying ending. generally i always write HEA. although i have a wip that was never supposed to end happily: Wicked, to Let Me Dream of You.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i’d say Sweet Surrender is the happiest considering all the angst you have to read to get there 😂 but like i said, most have a happy ending

8. Do you get hate on fics?

generally, no. but i have gotten more hate than anyone i’ve talked to about it! (certain word choices ‘ruining’ an entire fic for someone, grammar corrections, people telling me i’m a liar when i didn’t upload fast enough… all mostly surface stuff that hasn’t been too bad yet 😩)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

the real question is: have i ever not written smut? and the answer to that is no. what kind? every kind. tame, not-so-tame, porn with plot, porn with feelings, gross stuff, cute stuff, you name it 😉

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

not really. the closest i’ve been to writing a crossover is How I’d Kill, in which the first few chaps are pretty inspired by ACOTAR.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not copy and pasted, as far as i know. there have been a few instances where i’ve noticed bigger accounts posting eerily similar plot lines to some of the stuff i’ve written, but i’m 100% sure it’s just coincidence. we have to remember nothing is outright original when it comes to plot. as long as you’re not intentionally plagiarizing someone’s work, similarities are bound to happen.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no!! i’ve never had a translation, a pod fic, or artwork done for any of my fics! i’m just out here in my own little bubble lmao

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i haven’t! although i’ve definitely talked about it with @the-unforgivenn!! i get nervous because i’m such a procrastinator when it comes to getting my own fics done—i don’t want to drag someone else down 😂

14. What’s you’re all time favourite ship?

take a wild guess.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i honestly hope/plan to finish ALL of my posted wips, even though a couple are on pause. there’s a few saved on my laptop that I’m sure will never see the light of day hahaha

16. What are your writing strengths?

i’m blind to my own writing so it’s hard to say. i’d like to think just general improvement as i’ve written more/read more. a lot of repeat readers have complimented me on how i write angst so maybe that?!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i could write an essay on this. first—no matter how many times i read through my fics—there’s some autocorrect that i missed or a spelling error or just SOMETHING 😂 not to mention the procrastinating. always getting major writer’s block. and generally being very hard on myself.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i MIGHT be able to get away with a few french phrases here and there, being half french, but in general i only know english well enough to write. reading? LOVE it. make all the characters multilingual—i’ll have google translate ready.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

stranger things 🥹 and most likely will be the only fandom i ever write for. (unless you count the RPF i wrote and will NEVER publish about joseph quinn 💀)

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

i personally think my best written fic is How I’d Kill, but Sweet Surrender will always be my favourite just by default—there was no better feeling as a first time writer reading the lovely comments that i got on that fic. i’ll never forget it 🥹

no pressure tags:

@numinosmoon @cuips-not-cute @bettyfrommars @the-unforgivenn @rip-quizilla @etherealmontilyet @wroteclassicaly @wynnyfryd

sorry if you’ve already been tagged or just plain old don’t want to do it 💕

#steddie #stranger things #fanfiction writer #fanfiction

[iztopher]

i made a "talking about things i do not like" tag and then pretty much never used it, but i woke up today annoyed about undertale again so i guess i'm finally cracking it out

there's all the little things that made undertale a negative experience for me personally - the save system, the combat system being everything i hate about social interactions as an autistic person (guess what this person wants from this interaction and how to give it to them or else be punished!), the fact that it's a bullet hell game -

and all the ways people's reception of it made me bitter when i didn't end up liking it - why are these characters applauded as compelling and meaningful when i got made fun of for loving characters with just as much (read: little) depth?, why did everyone say this is an RPG when it's a bullet hell game?, why do i feel like i'm not allowed to dislike it? -

but fundamentally. the thing that makes me think about it three years later and grit my teeth in frustration is that toby fox and i are both game designers and we have completely different perspectives on game design. and his grinds my gears and from anyone other than a game designer who pours so much of his time and energy into games pings my "does not respect games as an art form" alert!

hear me out. i think people hold video game players to an unfair moral standard compared to interacting with other types of art. people think of people's decisions in video games as more reflective of their real life beliefs and actions than they do other types of media. and i don't mean this to say that video games shouldn't be held accountable for their portrayal of marginalized people and serious topics - but i mean i think people can be more inclined to judge someone for playing call of duty than watching captain america or top gun, even if they're all similar types of US military propaganda.

to me, making a choice in a video game is the same thing as opening a book. i'm not actually the one making the choice - the game developer(s), who spent time creating the writing, code, graphics, etc. for the choice, did. they included this option for a reason. let's find out why!

but people have a habit of judging people for opening that book to read it for themselves and decide how they feel. i saw this with dragon age and i'm seeing it with baldur's gate. i saw it with how people talked about twelve minutes. it is the central conceit of undertale: if someone makes a choice in a video game, it has to be because they want it to happen, or they think it doesn't really matter. it can't be because they're curious what the game developer has to say about it.

from my perspective on video games, toby fox wants you to play no mercy route. he wrote it! he spent all that time writing and programming it, designing extremely challenging battles, creating subtle branches for different versions of increasingly violent neutral routes. he clearly has something to say about it.

that something, of course, then turns out to be punishing you for listening to him and telling you you were wrong and cruel for being curious what he had to say.

the clearest, least-inflammatory comparison i can think of is saw vi, a movie where the jigsaw killer puts an insurance executive in a gauntlet of traps meant to illustrate how evil he is for denying people coverage. i watched that movie specifically because i was curious what it had to say about pre-obamacare united states health insurance. undertale's approach to no mercy route feels like if at the end of that movie the director walked in front of the camera and called me a murderous asshole for watching it.

my partner is always talking about how art is a conversation. it's about communication between the creator and the audience. in that metaphor, undertale is going to a lecture and then being scoffed at for asking questions. it's not my idea of a good conversation, a good story, or a good game.

as a tldr: this backlogged review always makes me laugh

#i have made a list of things that i do not like #dear mel

[somuchwhatever]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Got tagged by @somewhereapart, and I figured y'all may be sick of seeing me just post fic so here ya go.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

88

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

305,612

3. What fandoms do you write for?

AO3 tells me I've written for Battlestar Galactica, Buffy, General Hospital, Law & Order: SVU, Law & Order: OC, Lie To Me, Stargate: Atlantis, Stargate SG-1, and The West Wing. And I honestly can't think of any others outside of just ficlets I've tossed into the wild over the years.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Flinktober 2022 (EO, SVU/OC)

i remember skies (EO, SVU/OC)

gala (EO, SVU/OC)

bizarre love triangle (EO, SVU/OC)

Chautauqua (EO, SVU/OC)

I did not include one that was cowritten with a bunch of other people because I will always assume the kudos are for them.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

As often as possible. If someone takes the time to comment, I want them to know that i care enough to acknowledge and thank them for that kindness and effort. Especially when I write mostly for a fandom where I've seen people specifically state that they will read works but NOT comment on them as some sort of punishment for whatever random/imaginary fandom sins the writer whose free content they are enjoying has committed. That's just dumb and unkind, so I make the effort to let people know their comments are appreciated, even if it takes weeks to circle back.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm. There are several chapters in the first flink posting that would qualify, but I'm going to go with my largest Sam/Jack (SG-1) fic, Gravity Sings. It's hard to pretend it's not angsty when you've literally killed off half the planet.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmm. Not really sure. I'm a sucker for fluffy endings, so I tend to write them quite a bit. Maybe waltz or Chautauqua?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Occasionally, but I shut it down quickly. If you come up in someone's space where someone is providing you free entertainment and be rude? Don't expect a pass from me about it. The scroll bar isn't difficult to use, and neither is the back button. I use it frequently on poorly-written works or things that may be well-written but just aren't my thing. What I don't do is sling entitlement issues around demanding things be written to my satisfaction (unless you employ my beta services, in which case, you asked for it!). :D

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I never really did prior to the first flink experiment, and I created that experiment purely to practice writing smut. Well, I take that back. @rgrdsalxndra would be the first to remind me I'd often cockblock Elliot and Olivia by having them dream-smutting without real-life release. But I started that project with the express purpose of getting better and more comfortable with writing smut, so I'm making that the hinge point.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Because SVU and OC are different shows, I write them regularly. But if you mean out-of-universe crossovers, I've only really written one, R.E.M. (SGA, BSG, Buffy). It was based on a prompt from an LJ friend, "Elizabeth Weir, Kara Thrace, and Buffy Summers walk into a bar..."

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware. There are much better people out there to steal from. Also, I always assume if something is similar to what I've written, it's because fandom truly does become a hivemind at some point. Nothing new under the sun and all.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I'm aware. If I had to guess, I'd say Gravity Sings would be the most likely candidate since SG-1 fandom is probably the most global and that fic has been around much longer than any other likely candidates.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Wrote Wet Dream with much better smut writers than myself in a group chat, and a bunch of us in SG-1 fandom way back in the day once built an SG-1 AU loosely based on The Big Bang Theory called The House That Jack Built, and I have several entries in that little universe.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

How does anyone pick this??? I love them all for different reasons. I will say EO has a grip on me nobody else ever has, but then they have that 25 year slow burn that is just absolutely and sickly delicious.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Glazed and Fired (SGA) was originally the first part of a 5 Things fic that got away from me, and I had always intended to go back and finish it but eventually just put it away for good. I fully intend to finish my others (Skies, I'm looking at you).

16. What are your writing strengths?

Grammar. Economy of language (this is also sometimes a weakness). Getting into the head of characters who are typically very closed off.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I feel my writing is way too mechanical. I'm also still not comfortable writing smut. I always walk around with a sense of imposter syndrome with my writing.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I'm literally one class shy of a degree in French, and I had to write many upper level term papers in that language, but let me assure you I have zero plans to ever write in another language. I sincerely applaud those of you who do.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Stargate SG-1

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

Geez. It probably changes regularly, and I'm hesitant to say because my faves are never anyone else's. all i ever wanted (a rather dark Elliot-centric fic) holds a very dear spot in my heart just because of how my muse just grabbed a keyboard and churned it out. This is not a popular opinion, and hardly anyone read it, but I still love it a lot. And just because it was the first fic I wrote that was widely recc'd, I have a soft spot for Things Not Dreamed (SG-1), a Sam & Jack & Daniel fic written from Daniel's POV.

tagging in a no-pressure way (and sorry for any double tags):

@morethanwords229, @whatbecomesofyou, @samwrites99, @rgrdsalxndra, @shut-upjohn, and anyone else who wants to do it!

#fanfic #ao3 #memes #writing #writer stuff #sg 1 #buffy the vampire slayer #lie to me #l&o svu #law and order oc #law and order svu #battlestar galactica #stargate atlantis #stargate sg1 #west wing

[starlit-dreaming]

when honestly you can't recall (Baxter Ward/MC) p2

Rating: M

Romantic Ships: Baxter Ward/Original Character(s); Derek Suárez/Leandra “Lee” Last

Platonic Ships: Main Character | Jamie Last & Leandra “Lee” Last, Main Character | Jamie Last & Original Character(s)

Tags: Unplanned Pregnancy, Single Parent, Angst w/a Happy Ending

TL;DR: A self-indulgent Single Parent AU. Lee has a better relationship with my MC compared to Liz. I wrote this when the Baxter DLC was still in beta, so I opted to avoid writing spoilers (for now) and to avoid rewriting moments of the Jude/Scott wedding.

A/N: Cross-Posted on AO3 under the same title (@ Starlit_Dreaming). There's gonna be more fluff in the next chapter, but I've also written like... 5% of the next chapter, and I've only been able to finish due to having free time in the last few weeks.

Obligatory Tag: @arcosoffireheart

Links: 1 | [2] | 3 | 4

Summary:

Everyone assumes that Gabby is exactly like her mother, but Rosaline will always see the traces of her daughter’s father. The shape of her eyes, how fussy she gets if there’s even a hint of conflict, every moment her daughter is calm and serene in her arms, the sweet and gentle smiles. 

Her daughter does not have her black hair, either. Wavy hair, yes, but it was not fully black and her father has only ever dyed his hair.

It’s a miracle that nobody notices their similarities.

Including Baxter himself.

// In which Rosaline ends up becoming a single mother in the aftermath of her and Baxter’s summer fling. Some things change. Some things don’t.

——————————————————————

Part 2: i don't care (it's taking me apart)

——————————————————————

Then

Mid-Summer

Step 3: Age 18

———————————

“It’s… I don’t know. A frightening situation?”

It felt wrong hearing those words coming from Rosaline of all people. Throughout their childhood, she was always taking things in stride and going with the flow. No matter how scared or anxious she would get, she would always pull herself together and stand tall. Maybe it had to do with Cove, who always relied on her as a shoulder to lean on.

Cove was precious, there was no doubt about that, but Rosa tried so hard to stand tall for his sake that it’s hard for her to rely on him in the same way.

And that’s where Lee came in.

There were some matters that were easier to share between Rosa and Cove, but things like this were easier to share between Rosa and Lee. Lee was Rosa’s shoulder to lean on, the person she cried to. And still, it feels wrong hearing those words coming from her cousin. Her cousin deserved to be happy, to smile without a care in the world.

“Why’s that?” Lee asked, tilting her head back to look at Rosaline, who was sitting on the monkey bars and letting her feet kick back and forth.

They were both honestly too big to be using the park — it used to feel like such a huge place when they were kids, but not any more. Rosaline stares off at the sunset, and Lee simply leans her back against the ladder, watching her cousin.

What a solemn look — it didn’t suit Rosaline at all.

“I’ve only been dating Baxter for two months now,” Rosaline stated. “The honeymoon phase wore off, but… I’m still really into him. Like, thinking about a future, getting married one day, that type of seriousness. It’s just… kinda scary to me. I’ve never felt this way about someone before.”

“That’s a good thing, isn’t it? Since you’re dating. You’re not the kind of person to date casually to begin with.”

Not that anyone actually knew that. Lee was the one Rosaline talked to when it came to anything romance-related, and sure, she might’ve mentioned something to Cove, but he wasn’t too interested. Probably on the ace spectrum, if she really wanted to make a guess.

Granted, Rosaline often broke things off with her exes within a month of dating. Either red flags that Lee noticed or because of incompatibility — most of those red flags being some who tried getting her number, despite dating Rosa, and Rosa promptly gave them the boot the second Lee said something. The fact that Baxter never asked Lee for her number when they met on the little boat trip was already a pretty good indication that he’s not interested in getting into somebody’s pants and dipping out after.

In fact, Lee was pretty confident that Baxter was equally head over heels for Rosaline. Is he just not communicating that to her?

“Yeah, that’s true, but still,” Rosaline sighed, wryly smiling. “I get jealous thinking that he’ll find you or somebody else prettier, even when I know that his eyes are almost always on me. I get all insecure, wondering if I’m good enough for him, or wondering when we’ll be breaking up because he finds someone new. What if we can’t handle long-distance? What if he loses interest in me? I just want to hog all his attention.”

“If he’s the type to break up with you because of something like that, then he’s definitely not worth your time and affections, but I don’t think you have to worry about that,” Lee stated rather confidently, moving to stand in front of Rosaline. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you, Rosa. There’s no way he’ll break up with you for those kinds of reasons. He’s nothing like your exes.”

“…You really think so?”

“I know so,” Lee grinned, reaching to hold her cousin’s hand and giving it a comforting squeeze. “You’re both absolutely smitten with each other. It’s a bummer that Derek won’t be back before summer ends. We could’ve gone on a double date!”

“Yeah,” Rosaline smiled softly. “Maybe next year, unless Baxter has a chance to come back sooner.”

“For you? I think he’d do whatever he can to make you happy.”

———————————

Then

Early Spring

In-Between Steps 3 & 4: Age 19

———————————

“For you, I think she would’ve done anything to make you happy,” Carol murmured softly.

They both stood on the porch, an old envelope in Carol’s hands as she took her hat off, curly grey and white hair revealing itself as she held the hat over her chest. She seemed to be doing some sort of silent prayer, as she looked at Rosaline with a distant look in her blue eyes.

Eventually, she smiled, something sad and soft and gentle as she puts her hat back on and hands her the envelope. “I suppose it isn’t so terrible, in the end. You grew up happy and healthy, Rosaline, something that we all had hoped for,” she said with crinkled eyes. “And while it’s not how she envisioned it, the house is yours.”

“…thank you,” Rosaline awkwardly said, gently taking the letter into her hands. “For coming out here with me. For not selling the house and everything that belonged to… my birth mother.”

“Oh, don’t go thanking me for a silly thing like that,” Carol lightly laughed, waving her off as she approaches the front door, digging through her purse for the key. “Val was like a second daughter to me, and even without renting this house, I make enough money to keep this place. Coming here and showing you the house would be better than leaving you here to handle it on your own.”

“…you mentioned earlier that you stopped renting the house…?” Rosaline questioned as the door opens, and Carol steps aside, gesturing Rosaline to walk inside first. Wordlessly, she enters.

What greets her is a home with cream-coloured walls that appear to be freshly painted over and a stairway with a child gate at the top and bottom. On her left is a small carpet area with bean bags and two regular-sized bookshelves — one filled with minimal and minor decor, and the other half-empty and half-filled with books as if waiting for the next renter to fill in the empty spaces. The right of the stairs shows a short hallway with a door to the garage, and at the end of the hall is an open door, leading through a laundry room which also leads into a bedroom from what she could tell.

“Yeah,” Carol said. “You had just turned 18 when I stopped renting the house to people. All of my renters here were single parents who needed a place until they could find their footing, and the last renter’s lease only finished up recently.”

Rosaline walks towards the bookshelves as Carol closes the door and puts her keys away.

“It’s up to you if you still want to keep that sort of thing up with this house, but I imagine it’d come in handy for your current situation.”

Upon closer inspection of the books, Rosa noticed that on the bottom shelf was an assortment of children’s books. Half appeared to be brand new, and she suspects that it has to do with the fact that actual children had grown up in this house thanks to Carol’s past renters, and Carol’s renters had gone out of their way to buy new ones.

In contrast to the bottom shelf, was the top to middle shelf where an adult would have a much easier time to grab and go. Some books on the top shelf were old and worn, gently gone through multiple times in many years, yet still well-maintained. There was a book of names, with pages marked with pieces of paper that stuck out from between the pages. But most notably were the self-help books, the cookbooks for beginners, recipes to sneak in vegetables for picky eaters, basic first aid, and many more.

This bookshelf was curated to best help a first-time parent, and that fact was evident with how many books didn’t look brand new.

“I… am really sorry. For not talking to you about Valerie back then. You look so much like her, but you’re an awful lot like your moms,” Carol said, walking over and standing beside Rosaline. “I couldn’t bring myself to properly meet you back then. I lost both of my daughters and just couldn’t let go of my grief. Valerie, who died in an accident, and Veronica, who died in childbirth.”

“I see… I’m sorry that I can’t really understand how you feel.”

“Nonsense. Yes, you do look like Valerie, and who knows, maybe you’ll share similarities with her, but you take after your mom and mother. I can see that you have such a light-hearted and joyful approach to life just like Pamela, and you are a sympathetic and comforting sort of soul like Noelani.”

“…what was she like?”

“Valerie was an orphan who started working part-time as a receptionist at Lacework Lenders. She didn’t have anyone else, just me and the others, but she and Veronica were sisters in everything but paperwork. No boyfriend or husband either — her ex ran off the second he found out that she was pregnant, but Val was very stubborn. Nothing stopped her from wanting to keep you and have a family of her own.”

She tried not to feel guilty over a woman that she might never consider as anything more than a birth mother.

“What happened to her?”

“A car accident,” Carol shook her head. “I don’t know all the details, but you were born early, and she was alive long enough to give you a name. Nobody knew your father, so we couldn’t contact him, we couldn’t do anything about him, really. I don’t think Val wanted him to know about you, either.”

“Well, that’s fine. I’m not interested in finding a father figure — I already have two in my life.”

Gregorio Suárez and Cliff Holden were the only dads in her life, and she didn’t care to find someone who never wanted the title to begin with. Men who didn’t want to own up to the consequences of their actions weren’t worth an ounce of her time, anyway.

“Good,” Carol nodded, pretty much agreeing with the unspoken thought. “Past this room and the stairs is the kitchen. My daughters worked on redesigning it to be a spacious kitchen — unfortunately it’s also been baby proofed, so some things might be difficult to open.”

Rosaline nodded along as they moved into the kitchen. The edges of the counters all had edge guards, making it less likely for children to get hurt from it. That… was actually fairly smart. She never considered doing that with counters, so it really was a good choice for her to come see the house. If she doesn’t move in, she’ll keep that in mind the next time she shops for her future baby.

Past the kitchen and dining area was a wide living room with carpeting and an L-shaped sofa set. There was a TV mounted above an electric fireplace, with an empty toy box in the corner.

“You’ll have to buy the toys yourself for your child,” Carol said. “The children of the previous renters often took the toys with them, but they usually buy some starting toys for the next renters. The previous renters did buy you a few baby blankets, though.”

“They left me stuff…?” Rosaline blinked.

“It’s only polite that they did,” Carol smiled at her warmly. “They went through similar problems like you, and a small bit of kindness can go a long way. They wanted to help you in a way that they were able to, just as the previous renters have done for them. You’d still have to buy some things of your own, of course, like milk formula and baby wipes. Val’s things were left untouched in the back shed, but we can go over that later since we’re just here to look at the house today. I know that it can be… a lot.”

It felt… strange. Despite the fact that there were renters before her, everything about this house just seemed to be done for her and her birth mother the more she looked around.

But her birth mother never had the chance.

The idea of using it for herself just felt unsettling. It felt wrong, as if she was stomping on her birth mother’s dreams.

“Why don’t you have a seat on the sofa and I fix us up with some water, hmm?” Carol kindly smiled, gently placing a hand on Rosaline’s shoulder as she guided her over to the sofa, sitting her done. “And don’t go feeling sorry for Valerie. She would’ve been furious that I didn’t come help you in your time of need. I think it would let her rest easy, too, knowing that her own preparations would help out not just strangers in a similar situation, but also help you out with your own child.”

Rosaline rubbed her eyes, her other hand resting on her swollen belly as Carol wordlessly walked towards the kitchen, getting them both a glass of water.

Once, when she and Liz talked about their birth parents, she told her that she didn’t understand. Because the life she lived is hers, and that she could never imagine anything else. She loves her moms so much, and the idea of having different parents from childhood was unthinkable. The very idea of never being Cove’s neighbour hurts too much, the idea of never knowing the people in her life now.

And yet, this house was proof of a life that could’ve been, but never was. She could’ve been an only child, she could’ve been in a family of two. Maybe she would’ve acted like Derek had once thought she would when Father’s Day came around, maybe Father's Day would’ve become a sore topic of conversation.

Living here, she would’ve gone to the same school as Lee and Derek, she would’ve known them, but would she have been just as good friends with them? Maybe, maybe not.

(Would she have met Baxter, still?)

But here she is now, with all of that being only what-ifs.

“Do you have a name for them?” Carol asked, placing the cups of water onto the table and handing Rosa a packet of tissues from her purse.

“Gregory for a boy, Gabrielle for a girl,” Rosaline sniffed, taking the packet of tissues. “Gray or Gabby for nicknames. Maybe Greg or Brielle — I’m not sure which nickname to use. I just… their father doesn’t know, and I want him to see this child and understand that they are a symbol of the love we shared.”

She was being sentimental, and she was just thankful that everyone thought that she was just naming her child after Gregorio. It was dumb, and maybe she’d cringe in a normal situation, because Baxter had the whole black and white theme, and already she thought of their child as gray.

“Those are good names,” Carol smiled kindly, rubbing her back reassuringly. “And if he has an ounce of love for you, he’ll grow to care for your unborn child, if he ever meets them.”

“…would… Valerie really be okay with this?” With me, goes unsaid.

“Positive.”

———————————

Then

Mid-Autumn

Step 3: Age 18

———————————

“…positive.”

Rosaline let out a shaky breath, looking at the test before tossing it into the small wastebasket.

Her purple eyes stared off into space, lost in her thoughts. And when she turns to look at Lee, standing at the doorway of the bathroom, she looked as if she were looking for something. For someone. She hugs herself, looking small and even more fragile than she’s ever been.

And Lee knows that it’s not her who Rosaline is looking for, but she’s here, nevertheless. She’s the only one who’s here for her right now.

So, she does the only thing that she can do. Lee hugs her, warm and careful as if Rosaline were precious. She rubs her cousin’s back, hoping to give her as much comfort that she was willing to accept at this moment.

“Whatever you decide, I’m here for you.”

Rosaline doesn’t need assurance for anyone else. Lee knows her cousin, and she knows that Rosaline needs her assurance, because she’s here, she’s here and everyone else isn’t because of various reasons outside of her control. She’ll need their individual reassurances later, but Lee doesn’t need to wait to voice her own.

And then, Rosaline relaxes her tense shoulders, returning the hug tightly. Her eyes were watering, Lee noticed, and soon, it dampens the shoulder of her shirt where Rosaline laid her head against.

“I… I want to keep it.”

And unlike everyone else who would ask and showcase their disbelief, Lee nods, accepting it without question, “Okay.”

Because she knows better than anyone how much Rosaline gets stuck in her own head. She must’ve thought it over hundreds of times before the confirmation, before telling Lee, before asking her to be here tonight.

“And… I… I want you to be their godmother.”

“Of course,” she nods, knowing that she was going to be the godmother from the very start. Liz might feel hurt by that fact, but Liz also wasn’t always there for Rosaline throughout their lives. Lee was. Lee always was. “We’ll love and support you,” she adds, before Rosaline starts panicking over reactions next.

Everyone will spoil Rosaline’s unborn child, she just knows it.

Rosaline sniffed, eyes watering. “Will… will you be there…? When I—when I talk to my moms?”

“Always.”

———————————

Two Months Ago

Beginning of Summer

Step 4: Age 23

———————————

“Always,” Lee murmured, eyes glimmering with unshed tears in the dazzling lights.

Her gaze never leaves Derek’s as she speaks into the microphone, phone in hand as she says her vows. “Somehow, some way, fate brought us here today. When we reunited in high school of our sophomore year, after losing contact for that previous year due to conflicting schedules and busy lives, I thought it was a miracle that we managed to pick our friendship up right where we left it. When you had that summer training camp in the year after our graduation, our relationship was tested by distance when we decided to become more than friends. When you had to move to a different city for college, I stayed local, and still I wanted to be with you. Despite the distance, I knew that you were the one for me.”

Cove was definitely crying among all of Derek’s grooms men, as evident when one of Derek’s brothers grins, quietly giving him a packet of tissues. Rosaline just smiled softly at the scene before her among Lee’s bridesmaids. Her maid of honour, naturally.

“When you asked me to move in with you, I was excited — I wanted to fall asleep in your arms and wake up to your smile, and that’s how I knew that I was and still am head over heels for you, after all of our time being together.”

Derek started to tear up, holding her free hand as he stared at her as if she hung the stars in the night sky.

“I love you, so much more than what words can describe, and I swear to you that I will always love you. I’ll hold your hand through the good and bad, I’ll love you for who you are now and who you have yet to be, and I’ll stay with you, side by side, no matter the challenges that may come our way.”

She slips her phone into the pocket of her wedding dress, seamlessly hidden, a detail that Rosaline included in the design.

“I love you, Derek Suárez, and I can’t wait to build our future together.”

———————————

~1 Year Ago

Mid-Summer

In-Between Steps 3 & 4: Age 22

———————————

“…and I can’t wait to build our future together,” Lee read, eyes trained on her phone screen as she squinted at the screen.

Rosaline stared at her sketchbook, sketching potential design patterns. They’re in Rosaline’s living room, with her sitting at the dining table sketching out potential designs for the dresses.

“Well?” Lee prompted, looking up at her cousin from her spot on the L-shaped sofa. “What do you think?”

“I think you’ve been rereading your vows a little too much,” Rosaline sighed, smiling wryly at Lee as she placed her pencil down. “It’s perfectly fine. You talked about your relationship, that you’ll both overcome the challenges together, and that you love him. Add more, and it’ll be a long presentation-level speech. Cut it too much, and it’ll be incredibly short for a vow. I think it’s fine the way it is, especially because it’s your feelings for him.”

“Mm…” Lee frowned, looking unconvinced. And nervous, Rosaline noticed. “And… it’s okay? You really think so?”

“Why would I think otherwise?” Rosaline raised a brow, picking her pencil up again to draw a purse. “Do you want your purse to match your reception dress? Or should I make it be a pop of colour like a flower bouquet, so it stands out?”

“Matching. I want people to see the dresses I wear and be wowed instead of focusing on my purse, and if I want the purse to stand out, I’ll just use it with a different outfit,” Lee leaned back into the sofa, frowning. “And I… that’s not what I meant, I mean,” she groaned, flopping down, lying around as she looked at her, almost guiltily. “You know I love you, right?”

“Uh, yeah? Where are you going with this?” Rosaline smiled, feeling downright confused.

“How uh… how are you and Baxter doing?”

Oh. It was then that Rosaline realized what Lee was getting at. The wedding is meant to be a heartfelt occasion, filled with happy tears and bright smiles all around. And here Lee was, concerned for Rosaline and Baxter, who both broke up because Baxter refused to try a long distance relationship.

And Lee was especially worried about hitting on a nerve with that speech.

Well, she admits that she’s a bit… sad that Baxter wasn’t willing to have an LDR like Lee and Derek, but she feels vindicated knowing that he’s now working for a couple that he expected to have broken up. It evened out on that front, and frankly the petty side of her thinks that Lee ought to emphasize that distance meant nothing to a couple who worked together.

Although Baxter had yet to ask her about Gabrielle. A fact that enrages her more than upsets her, but she understood why he feigns indifference.

Not everyone wanted to tackle the hurdles of parenthood.

“Nothing new,” she simply said. Honestly, Baxter was the same as ever. Only he of all people could confidently keep her at arms length even when they were technically in contact. “Apart from the group chat, he doesn’t directly text me. Assuming that he still has my number.”

And what did she expect? For him to step up, to talk to her about Gabrielle after he saw her for the first time? Did he even want to see the child beyond that initial first meeting?

“Not even about…?”

“Nope, but that’s okay,” Rosaline smiled. It did hurt, but Rosaline could deal with it. Her birth mother and her had shit taste in men judging from what she knew from Carol. “Besides, I don’t think Gabby cares about not having a dad. She’s already getting spoiled rotten by everybody, and seriously, it’s a bit funny.”

Lee barks out a laugh at that, “That’s true! Gabby practically has four grandmas and two grandpas, several uncles, and several aunties. Has Liz been gifting her more presents?”

“Mhmm, but Brielle still loves you and your pink hair more than she loves Liz, but that’s a secret,” Rosaline teasingly stated before humming much more thoughtfully to herself. “Honestly, worse comes to worst, I can always ask Cove if he’s fine with doing that whole second parent adoption thing, if she really wants a dad. Cove’s a sucker for her anyway, so he would cry happily if that happened, even if he’s never thought of it.”

“True, he really takes good care of her,” Lee smiled. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you two were a thing.”

“Maybe in another life,” she laughed. “But Cove’s definitely my brother.”

——————���————

Then

Beginning of Summer

Step 3: Age 18

———————————

“Cove’s definitely my brother,” Rosaline laughed.

“That’s reassuring,” Baxter commented, smiling as they strolled through the boardwalk. “And here I thought that perhaps he was your first love.”

She doesn’t miss a step, her smile remains, as she watches Baxter from the corner of her eyes. But her heart skips a beat, her gut freezes, her mind reeling with imposing thoughts. Why would he say that? Naturally, there’s only one reason as to why he’d wonder, and why he’d look at her with incredible interest.

Her first love is Baxter Ward, back when she only knew him as the enchanting boy who swept her off her feet. That was an undeniable fact.

Rosaline, however, doesn’t admit it.

“Nope, that honour belongs to Mr Cliff Holden, Cove’s father!”

It wasn’t a lie, technically. She did think that Cove’s father was cute, but not to a point where she was romantically interested. The idea of it was plain weird, and she and Lee both got a kick out of it when she mentioned it, meanwhile Cove was mortified that she ever thought of his father as “cute” and “attractive”.

Cove was even more horrified (which she never thought was possible) when she told him that his mother was super cute, because she actually did develop a minor crush on Kyra back then. Now she’s just “mom three” to her. She’s not afraid to admit that someone’s attractive, but it’s a rather fun embarrassment, one that only gets mentioned as a tease from Lee, when it’s just her and her cousin, since Cove prefers to forget it entirely.

He had smiled, at first, in disbelief, before cackling at it, grinning when she mentioned Cove’s reaction to her minor childhood infatuation. Afterwards, Baxter was laughing, a reaction that she both expected and wanted. The tale is a fun exaggeration, and it safely tucks away the fact of her first love.

After all, it’s a bit much to confess to your first love, especially one you still had affections for.

Still, he was absolutely adorable…

———————————

~1 Year Ago

Mid-Summer

In-Between Steps 3 & 4: Age 22

———————————

“She’s rather adorable,” Baxter absentmindedly comments.

Rosaline blinks, glancing over at him, but his eyes remain on the road. She thinks, for a moment, before realizing that maybe he finally wants to talk about Gabrielle.

“Yeah, Brielle is the cutest person in my life,” she smiled, thinking of her daughter.

“I would’ve expected her to come along, to be truthful.” It’s just small talk, but he’s finally showing interest.

“Well, my job can get rather hectic, and Carol keeps an eye on her for me until Cove gets off work. He normally watches over her whenever he’s home.”

“Ah… so you and Cove?”

“We live together, yeah.”

His hand grips the wheel tightly. Was he jealous that Cove spent more time with Gabrielle than him? He should just be honest about that, honestly. If he asked, she would’ve been happy to let him slowly build up a relationship with their daughter.

“I see…” he sounded rather… dejected. Almost accepting of the situation.

“I can always bring her along next time,” Rosaline offered. “She’ll be disappointed that I’m going to a bakery without her,” she chuckled.

“If that’s what you’d like,” he smiled, fake just like all the other smiles.

Even now, he was still holding back.

———————————

Several Days Ago

End of Summer

Step 4: Age 23

———————————

Even now, she felt like she was holding back.

“It’s okay, we can handle the clean-up,” Cove reassured her, his hand a warm comfort on her shoulder. “Take a break, Rosa,” he smiled. “Gabby’s with Lee; she came by to drop her off with your moms. So it’s fine, just… take a breather? You deserve it after all that’s happened.”

“The wedding’s over, so you can just leave it to us,” Terry grinned, and Miranda smiles, nodding along with him encouragingly.

She relaxes her tense shoulders, and she manages to smile back at them, feeling a bit weak.

“Yeah… you’re right. I need a break,” she took in a shaky breath and stands up. Eyes searching around the mostly empty room, spotting Baxter’s distant figure. She walks, her heels tapping against the marble floor as she deliberately bridges the gap between them.

And it’s Baxter, who keeps his back turned, whose back shifts as if tensing as her footsteps draw closer and closer. And it’s Baxter, and it’s always been Baxter, who draws her attention.

“Baxter,” she says, breathing, and steeling her expression.

He’s going to run away from her again, and if he does, she’s not quite sure how she’ll be able to handle it. Would it result in another night, crying in Lee’s arms like back then? She supposes that it’s a good thing Lee texted her earlier, saying to call her whenever she gets home. They both didn’t expect him to stay and talk.

“Ah, Rosaline,” he greets, turning to face her with that infuriatingly familiar smile. It was the same smile he used to maintain his professionalism, the same smile that showed her that he was just going to keep pulling away from her. His posture shows a clear desire to leave ASAP.

And her heart drops. Because even now, she was hoping that he would just… turn around and change his mind. That maybe he would give himself another chance with her.

But no, she supposes that was just a dream, and this was just her fulfilling a promise.

It’s just a dance, she tells herself and tries not to cry.

#wynter writes #fic: when honestly you can't recall #baxter ward #our life: beginnings & always #baxter x mc

[heartofspells]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for the tags, @brandileigh2003 @tracingpatternswrites & @mycupofrum!

Username: heartofspells

1. How many works do you have on A03?

96, all of them HP except for one lonesome Supernatural fic

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

1,685,584

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Harry Potter, though I've dabbled in a few others, only one fic of which is still available for Supernatural

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

At the Healing Edge of Broken

Prick the Craving, Watch it Seep

Multiplying Parents

How to Succeed in Business

The Tying of Canines

5. Do you respond to comments?

I used to. Hardly ever anymore, and unfortunately, I've got solid reasons for that. I will respond to them if someone asks a question that legitimately needs answering or similar. And while I maybe don't respond to them anymore, I do read every single one multiple times. I love comments, and I'm so grateful for everyone who takes time out of their lives to leave them for me <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ah...heh. That's really not an easy question to answer for me. I guess, coming from a personal stance, knowing everything I put into it and the build up that led to then ending, I'd have to say Wasteland. That's the one that's still lingering with me to this day.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

That's also hard to answer, because as much as I love flooding my fics with angst, I have a lot that end very happy or hopeful. Narrowing it down to longer fics with more character arc throughout, I'd probably say This Way We Fall because it leaves them on such a high note after all the struggle.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Unfortunately, yes, but that's part of it, I guess. I've become better at ignoring it.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do, but at the end of the day, it's mostly just typical smut when I look at it, though I do have a few kinkier ones scattered in there (ceiling smut, er...inter-species stuff). There's also the...not entirely nice stuff when it comes to smut as well simply because I like exploring all aspects of most everything.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Haven't so far. Doubt I ever will, but you never know.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of. I hope not.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have! I co-wrote Family on the Mend with @tracingpatternswrites and it was so much fun! I'd love to co-write more fics in the future!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

It's gonna have to be Wolfstar just because that's where my heart has rested for years, but there are others that run as close seconds.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Oh god. YOU. It's not posted anywhere, still only exists in my docs, but I'm convinced that fic will haunt the rest of my life.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I always struggle with questions like this, but that also means I've spent a lot of time thinking about it over the years. I think, mostly based on reactions I've had and what other people have said, that I'm quite good at capturing heavy and deep emotions, hopefully enough to not only grip a reader, but to plunge them into the heart of a scene and make them feel those emotions as well.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Details? There are times I think I'm terrible at this, and not just in fiction writing. It's in everything. Something might exist in my head, and I sometimes manage to forget that not everyone can see my exact thoughts and know what I'm thinking, so I leave important bits and pieces out of things and explanations that only end up confusing people - or worse, makes me seem not so great in general simply because I forgot the inclusion of a very important point when it mattered most.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I'm not against it, though it's not something I generally do because I don't know any other languages and that's a risky game to play. I'll only include it if I've spoken to someone who speaks that language fluently and has agreed to translate for me. But having other languages in a fic is a wonderful thing, especially if you're trying to include other cultures, though speaking as someone who has to rely on things like Google Translate that aren't always accurate, included translations are always appreciated.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

This changes constantly for me. I'm not sure how it couldn't. I love most of the fics I've written, and it's like choosing a favorite child sometimes. However, I think right now I'd have to say it's a toss up between CRuSH (i'm just so proud of this one) and Multiplying Parents (also very proud, and this one was so much fun and makes me grin every time i think about it).

Open tag! Because I'm very late to this and I've got the feeling most everyone has done this by now.

#20 questions #tag game

[daniwib]

Fic Writing Review 2023

Words and fics

• 281,412 words published to ao3

• approx. 150,000 more unpublished (unfinished WIP’s)

• 2 fandoms (911 & 911 Lonestar)

• Most recent drop: Night at the (Wax) Museum – an utterly cursed piece of work that is virtually unreadable. Seriously. I dare you to try. I wrote this for a guess-the-writer event and made it so unrecognisable as my own work that virtually no one read it at all. It’s a fun story and I hope that more people will read the grammatically correct version that I’ll be posting hopefully today.  

• Longest fic in 2023: empty, broken, lonely, hoping at 44k (Buck and Christopher are presumed dead when Buck’s building burns down) This is one of my favourites this year.

Top 2023 fics by kudos

• empty, broken, lonely, hoping (Buck and Christopher are presumed dead when Buck’s building burns down). I really like this one and am quite proud of it. One of my favourites I’ve written this year.

• Losing Hope (Buck gets pregnant right before the lawsuit but loses the baby). Huh. This surprised me. I never thought I’d write mpreg or lawsuit fic OR that it would be one of my highest kudos’d fic this year. How bizarre!

Upcoming events and projects for 2024

Gah this is scary, I have so many.

Reluctant Werewolf crack – I really need to sit down and finish the last chapter of this. It’s about half done.

Coronation crack – likewise. I got blocked when RWRB was released and featured a polo scene very similar to what I was planning for Buddie in England and haven’t been able to get back to it since. I think I’ll scrap that chapter and just finish it off. I loathe having unfinished wip’s partly posted, it does my head in.

Big werewolf AU – featuring all my favourite tropes of kidnapped Buck, worried Eddie, Buck whump and Eddie whump too. I started it in January 2023. It’s fully plotted and maybe 2/3’s written at around 70k.

Navy Seal Buck – there’s something so fun about secretly bamf! Buck going all out to protect his firefam. He gets whumped during the course of, naturally. Again, started in January 2023, fully plotted and is maybe half done at about 50k-ish.

Angsty Buckley family drama set around the Madney wedding aka the one that will make you all weep. Fully plotted, partly begun.

Kidnapped TK – this one is so big and complex that I’m thinking of turning it into a novel some day. Fully plotted and partially written.

Eddie porn reviewer. Plotted only.

Buck sex worker. Plotted, partially written.

Carla romance novelist gets Buddie together. Plotted, partially written.

Plus the other 90+ ideas in my Ideas folder!

I’m unlikely to get much done before Christmas, too busy with family stuff and am recovering from having to have an emergency appendectomy while also having Influenza A this week. It’s been… rough.

Same for January as hubby and I are going on the first holiday alone together since having kids – Tasmania here we come! I am very glad my surgery didn’t ruin that.

Thank you for the tag @sherlockcrossing  

No pressure tagging: @daughterofscotland  @rogerzsteven @cal-daisies-and-briars @ronordmann and anyone else who wants to share!

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please don’t eat glass but don’t feel like you have to do this either.

#tag game #fanfic #my writing #Ao3 #Whump #Angst #911 #Buddie

[lynxindisguise]

20 asks for fic writers

ty for the tag @plecotusauritus and @wanderingdonut <333

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

16

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

300,242 (damn)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

hp, have considered branching into black sails and good omens

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Hot Cocoa Incident of '77

shorn and scarred and yours

A Dog in Stag's Clothing

Sarcastic Truths and Lies By Omission

exes, horcruxes, and other reasons to panic

conclusion: bitches love hogwarts fluff, slytherin sirius, and divorce!!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I love comments!

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending

Uhhh I guess the corndog fic?? all my wolfstar fics currently end happily, though Of Monsters and Cowards has more of an open ending

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

They're all happy honestly, but The Hut of the Mistold is probably the most neatly wrapped up, all the warm and fuzzies, happily ever after ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nothing directly mean, but I'll get comments that make me go, "why did you feel the need to say that?" Like ranting a little too enthusiastically about the main character's choices or commenting on how they wanted more of xyz in a chapter (especially when the fic isn't even finished!) Oh and I got one the other day from a guest on a reply I made to someone else that was clearly trying to start an argument about something that had nothing to do with the fic??? I don't respond to those comments.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Typically I write a little smooching that fades into a vague description, but I wrote six different versions of smut for don't cover our tracks

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I write a lot of AU's based in other worlds, but not crossovers. (Unless @impishtubist and I make the ineffable wolfstar crossover happen!)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. And hot take—I genuinely think a lot of cases of "fic stealing" are just coincidence. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but I do believe we're all collectively tossing around one brain cell, and we're bound to have similar ideas.

I once read a fic that shared a lot of themes/ideas/details with one of my fics, and upon discovering this, I plotted to trick the writer into becoming my deeply beloved mutual.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I've had people ask if they could translate my fics before a few times, but I don't think anything has come of it?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not currently... (refer to 10)

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Wolfstar

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

... probably the ATLA AU :/

The idea possessed me back in January of last year, and I plotted out the entire thing, but I've had no motivation to actually write it. I think the problem is that it's too cinematic, and I can't translate it to prose.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Probably world-building, in the way that I can look at one world and say "how would this translate to another?" "what little details and references can I pull from and play with?" "how do I adjust my writing style to make this feel like the genre I'm replicating?"

Also unusual metaphors, zingy little commentary, and comedic timing in dialogue.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I really struggle with prose. Which sounds silly, but like, I'm not writing prose—I'm translating the screenplay in my brain to prose, which is weird. And I think it can make my writing really jarring because it's lacking that slow, immersive reflection that is just so delicious when done well.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Dude I put a few Welsh words in hotm and panicked that even those would be wrong. If it was ever important for the story, I'd find someone who spoke the language to help me.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

hp

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Please Don't See Me

tagging @kaaaaaaarf @spindrifters @impishtubist @soloorganaas @femme--de--lettres @fruityindividual @worldenough-and-time

#tag game

[raes-writing-space]

Matthew Anderson x Reader *Healing Inner Child Comfort*

Warnings: Childhood trauma, however kept rather vague and generalized. Not beta read.

Summary: After having to take care and deal with so many traumatic things at a young age, it's made you feel like an adult, even when you weren't. Now that you are an adult, looking back and realizing you couldn't just be a kid and have a normal childhood really upsets you. Matthew comforts the character and shows them that while it might not be the same, it's still possible to just act like a kid and heal your inner child.

Word Count: 2,620

A/N: Reader isn't exactly Mika, and I spaced out the time from the first game between Malix and Diana it took a little over a month, because having the events happening within a week is wild to me.

Can you tell I'm a bit biased based on the word count? Also, I was just rereading my other drabble I wrote for him and didn't realize how similar these are (in which tag is involved). So maybe one day I might come back to this and do it a bit differently, but who knows. Expect the next prompt with Matthew to either be really short or really long, because again, it is kind of based off of my own experiences. So I might get way into it, or keep it short to avoid myself from getting triggered. I guess we'll see!

Story under the cut to save space/scroll time!

Things had already started settling into a new normal in the mansion that your grandfather left you in his will. While things were a bit chaotic at first, finding bloodied incubi men on the floor wasn't ideal, nor did it make sense to you at first. But now? You can't imagine anything different, the five brothers really opened up your eyes to a whole new world besides the one you were used to. They had made you breakfast this morning, like they typically did to show you gratitude for letting them stay there after the events with both Malix and Diana.

However, as everyone was starting to clean up Sam and Matthew had seemed to start bickering with each other, over what exactly? You didn't exactly catch it, but it did lead to Matthew starting an unspoken game of tag between him and his brothers. While James seemed to stay out of it, but had a small smile on his features showing his true feelings. Eric and Damien had joined in, laughing for a moment before James seemed to put an end to it so that they could all finish cleaning up.

As you watched, for some reason it made you feel a bit envious. At first, you didn't quite understand why you felt that way. The more you thought about it, the more you realized that you couldn't remember the last time you had played tag. You were sure you had played tag at some point, but as you tried to recall the memory, only the memories of your childhood that you could remember were of things you wished you could forget.

This only lead you to think about it more, surely there had to have been a happy childhood memory in there somewhere. You had some friends in your elementary school days, and you remember being outside at recess. But what did you do during recess? You remember being on the swings quite often, and watching the other kids around you playing, and you remember being on the monkey bars, but those were all things that you remembered doing alone. The envy within you started to turn into bitter sadness, you remembered how hard it was to get birthday party invites, and if it was a sleepover, you usually couldn't go, or stay for the whole night.

The traumas you experienced as a kids started to bubble up more and more as you thought about it, and you could remember having to hold yourself differently. You always had to take care of someone, or fix something that shouldn't have been your problem at such a young age. You started to realize just how fast you had to grow up, how you started to see the world different even as a child, and how you had to learn how to survive at such a young age. That eventually, it seemed like birthday parties and whether or not you were invited to play soccer with the other kids all became secondary to your other list of priorities. Getting good grades in school, doing your chores at home, making sure to watch your tone around your parents, and how to determine what set of footsteps approached your bedroom door became the new set of priorities for you.

"Mx? Are you okay?" James seemed to question, snapping you back into your reality.

You didn't even know that you had started crying, suddenly feeling so angry that you started shaking. Now that you were an adult and away from your parents, your childhood home, your past, it finally hit you all at once just how much you missed out on. You couldn't even seem to answer James, simply shaking your head, before suddenly taking your leave to get some fresh air before it somehow got worse. You weren't mad at the boys for playing around, you were mad at the fact that you didn't seem to know how to ask to join in, how to be child again, instead of the paranoid adult you grew up to be. You were mad that you missed out on a whole childhood that you couldn't get back, and now it's too late to do anything about it.

It felt like grief to you, similar to the grief you felt when your grandfather passed. But this time, it felt as if you grieving over a potential life you could have had. Grieving the child version of yourself that deserved better, and never was able to get it by the time that childhood was over.

It was Matthew who came out first to try and comfort you, they all seemed to want to, but you had grown close to Matthew in a way you didn't quite realize until that moment. You enjoyed his company because of how "childish" he seemed to be, despite being able to hold his own fair share of responsibility and wisdom. You wished you could be more like him in that way, being able to just let go and have fun, instead of holding yourself back all because of how you were raised. Maybe Damien told them what you had been thinking about at the time, and they decided that maybe it was best for Matthew to be the one to come out to you. Or maybe he just wanted to make sure you were alright on his own accord.

"Hey, (Y/N)." Matthew greeted at first, "Do you mind if I stay out here with you?"

You simply shrugged at first, unsure of how to feel. You knew there would have to be a conversation about how you were feeling at some point. Being vulnerable was always a bit tough for you, having to always keep it together for the sake of your family.

"Take your time, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." Matthew added, not trying to pressure you into a conversation you were ready to have yet.

"It's hard to explain." You simply shook your head at first, not knowing where to begin, and not exactly wanting to spill your whole life story to him in order to explain.

"Then don't explain, not yet any way… Do you want to play tag with me?" Matthew suddenly questioned, catching you a bit off guard.

"What?" You asked, but it was pointless to ask, as Matthew suddenly approached you and touched you, yelling "Tag! You're it!" before running away from you.

It took you a moment to process what had happened, before you started to walk towards him at first. He smiled, walking backwards away from you, waiting to see if you would suddenly stop, or decide to chase after him. After a moment, you picked up your pace, feeling unsure about what was happening but still trying to go after him anyway. Soon, Matthew took off running again, and you couldn't help but feel the need to stop. It felt a bit silly to you to be playing a game of tag. A couple of minutes had passed, before you felt a voice suddenly come from behind you.

"Are you going to tag me?" Matthew questioned, as you quickly turned around, a bit surprised, and yet, still reaching out for him to attempt to tag him anyway.

He laughed, dodging out of the way, before you squinted your eyes at him dodging out of the way and attempting to tag him again. He was so close to you, how could you not tag him? Yes, it felt silly, but if he was going to tease you about it, at least you could make an attempt to try. It seemed like mere inches were keeping the two of you separated, before you finally decided to chase after him and finally tagging him.

"Tag! Finally!" You shouted, sounding a bit exasperated, making Matthew laugh at your reaction.

However, it took half a second for him to tag you again, as you forgot that it was now your turn to run.

"Tag! New rule, no tag backs." Matthew smirked.

"What? That's not fair, you just tagged me back!" You defended, tagging him back.

"Fine, I'll give you one freebie, but now there's no tag backs!" Matthew stated, as he seemed to run back inside the house.

Within a second you saw Eric coming outside chasing Matthew, who only stopped when he saw you and started to run towards you. You assumed it was out of pure instinct more than a cooperation to playing that you ran away from him. Eric did seem a lot more threatening when he was suddenly chasing after you suddenly, when you had just been standing mindlessly a second ago. It took a second, before Eric tagged you, you thought maybe it was unfair, unsure if it was simply his long legs giving him the advantage, or the fact that they were a completely different species with different advantages than you. As soon as you were tagged, you looked around, Matthew couldn't have possibly known that you were it now, right? Would he even trust you if you approached him anyway? Then you smirked, heading inside calmly. You tried to clear your mind of your little plan, just in case Damien wanted to rat you out, as you found Sam first. Sam didn't think much of anything, before you tagged him, as you announced the "No tag backs!" rule quickly, which gave you a head start.

"Aw, what!?" Sam groaned, before he ran towards Damien, who did happen to hear his thoughts and already had a head start before Sam could even process where his brother could be.

This game of tag seemed to last for at least thirty minutes, but it felt more like two hours. You were out of breath, and at times you had even given up on running all together, opting for a casual stroll instead and accepting your fate. At some point you had to call "times" to get a drink of water, and encouraged the others to get their water break too, and that they'd all have at least ten seconds to run before the game started up again.

As much as James had tried to avoid the inevitable, even telling his brothers that he wasn't interested in playing, when it came to you, he eventually gave in and finally let you tag him. You felt even more excited, running outside and yelling to everyone else that James was it. This only seemed to make the brothers up the stakes when it came to each other, but always made sure to at least slow themselves down when it came to you.

When your feet finally started to hurt, you collapsed onto the soft grass with a laugh. You couldn't help but start crying again in the midst of your laughter, suddenly overcome with a sense of nostalgia and happiness. Matthew collapsed next to you not too long after.

"I'm not it, I swear! We should team up and go hide from them and see how long it takes for them to notice and find us." Matthew suggested, as you simply nodded at first, wiping your tears away for a moment.

You followed him, telling him how you had found out that the mansion had a small secret side room in the library. Immediately the two of you snuck around to try and make it to the library without getting noticed by the others. Matthew was your lookout when you entered the library and opened up the secret room, motioning for him to follow in quickly. An automatic light seemed to flick on in the room, as you had closed the door behind the two of you. It was nice to get a bit of a breather from running, you never had really thought about hiding during a game of tag before.

"Thank you." You simply told him at first, as it was just the first thing on your side.

"Yeah, I just wanted you to feel included." He simply replied, and you couldn't help but think that he wasn't completely being truthful about his intentions about his game of tag.

"I didn't really get this a lot growing up." You started, hoping to ease into why you had been upset earlier.

"We didn't either…" Matthew sympathized, and you couldn't help but forget that they didn't have the best life back in the Abyssal Plains.

"Do you ever get angry that you didn't get a childhood?"

"Things are a bit different in the Abyssal Plains… Growing up, we didn't really think about it much. We did get to play with each other sometimes, but I imagine it wasn't like how you guys played as children here."

"That makes sense… When I saw you guys playing tag earlier, I just couldn't help but wonder when the last time I had played tag was, and my memories just continued to disappoint me." You confessed, "I didn't realize just how fast I had to grow up as a child…"

"I'm sorry to hear that… I really am."

You simply nodded as a response at first, "I just can't help but grieve a childhood I never had, I'm sure I'll get over it eventually…" you shrugged.

"You might have missed out of your childhood, but that doesn't mean you can't make your adulthood something your child self could be proud of and have fun with." Matthew stated, as he was fidgeting with some of the random dusty stuff in the room.

"Where would I even start?" You couldn't help but ask, it was supposed to be rhetorical, but he turned and smiled at you anyway.

"Well, I think you already started."

You smiled, feeling a sense of comfort at his words. You did feel that earlier, that happiness and nostalgia. Maybe it wasn't impossible to get those feelings back, to feel comfortable about feeling like a little kid, and making the child version of you proud. There was a moment of comfortable silence while you processed his words.

"Hey, isn't this the book that James was reading yesterday?" Matthew asked, lifting up the book, as you walked over and gently examined the book with him.

It was in fact, not dusty at all, at least compared to the other things in the room. It was just then that they had noticed that one of the leather chairs in the room seemed to not have a spec of dust on it either. Just as they had noticed it, the two of you looked at each other.

"We should leave, just in case." You mentioned "nonchalantly" as you pointed towards the door.

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea." He agreed, and just as the two of you had began to leave the secret room, James had come into the room.

The two of you froze, "Are you it, James?" Matthew couldn't help but ask him.

"Well, I suppose there's only one way to find out." James seemed to smirk, teasing them both.

"You wouldn't play tag in the library, would you? There's quite a lot of important things in here…" You added, trying to reason with him as you inched closer to the door that lead out to the hallway.

"I wouldn't, you are right about that." James nodded, making you let out a breath.

Before you could process it, Matthew had already taken off running. But just as he had left out to the hallway, Eric had been waiting for him and tagged him making Matthew let out a groan of frustration. This made you, and the two eldest brothers laugh. Just as Matthew had started to come back, you were quick to come up with a new rule.

"The library is off limits!"

#seduce me otome x reader #seduce me otome #matthew anderson x reader #Matthew Anderson #Seduce Me Otome Matthew #Comfort Characters Comfort Prompts #raes-writing-space #Seduce Me Zecaeru

[alto-tenure]

Fandom: Layton’s Mystery Journey (sorry if this is cheating!)

Ship: Emiliana/Kat

Character: Janice Quatlane

I mean uh. I sent Whiskers Great Ace Attorney specifically, so LMJ-specific isn't cheating. I'm sticking to game-only for the sake of this.

Favorite character: Emiliana

Least Favorite character: Britannias. ACAB is always applicable (ignore my favorite), but even more so for him.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): Uh. Katriana. Whatever people call Cesar Chance/Taboras Lloyd. I'm fond of Pipper/Liza...uhhh, I don't really feel strongly about any other ships

Character I find most attractive: meh

Character I would marry: meh

Character I would be best friends with: the waiter!

A random thought: I wonder how many people end up being in the Ratman network.

An unpopular opinion:

My canon OTP: Bess/Benjy I guess?

Non-canon OTP: Katriana <3

Most badass character: Katrielle

Pairing I am not a fan of: Sorry, people who ship Katrielle and Ernest...I just can't really see Katrielle reciprocating his feelings. I think seeing more nuanced portrayals of their relationships that dug into how Case 12 affects them would help, but I don't think I could ever really see it.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Ernest. The twist with him could REALLY have used more foreshadowing (like how he would react to Katrielle getting buddy-buddy with the Seven Dragons, for instance).

Favourite friendship: I do feel strongly about Katrielle & Ernest's friendship. I think...they're similar to how I feel about Claire & Dimitri, but with much lower stakes due to being nowhere nearly as tragic.

cut here for length, but I did answer the rest!

when or if I started shipping it: It was Katrielle Layton: Wanted that really cemented it for me.

my thoughts: I really like Emiliana growing to care for Katrielle and respect her as a rival and as a friend, as well as developing respect for Katrielle's methodology.

What makes me happy about them: Rivals to lovers is a really fun trope.

What makes me sad about them: Emiliana has a pretty strict moral framework that I think is not impossible to reconcile with Katrielle, but will take a lot of work to really develop.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: This isn't really a bad thing, but I do wish there was a little less 100% fluff in the tag. It doesn't annoy me, I like the fluff, but I wish there was more variety.

Things I look for in fanfic: I'd love more stuff like the fic I wrote last year, but not written by me, lmao

My kinks: nope, not answering this here

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: I respect the people who ship Katrielle and Lucy immensely.

My happily ever after for them: they reconcile their conflicting moral frameworks

How I feel about this character: I like Janice :) She's a neat character and I really like the parallels to Hershel.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: obviously Melina. and also Emmy

My non-romantic OTP for this character: her and Hershel

My unpopular opinion about this character: uhhhhhhhh I don't even know what the popular opinions are, ngl. I guess...I wish we had gotten more pre-canon flashbacks to establish her dynamics with the Whistlers?

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I think she should take a break from music and figure out if she wants it for herself or if she wanted it because Melina was by her side doing it. I think she ultimately comes to the conclusion that she does like it, though.

My OTP: Janice/Melina <3

My OT3: a while ago @magicwhiskers29 and I were kicking around an Emmy/Janice/Melina triad after I shared some lines from my Janice/Emmy fic with her about how both Janice & Melina admired Emmy and her abilities. in my head there's also a version of this where Janice and Melina are still sharing a body when this happens

#professor layton #lmj #lmj spoilers #katriana #janice quatlane #answered ask #101flavoursofweird