#i found out it was megans birthday today so i made this :)

[thechaosmuses]

Well I got maybe five hours of sleep- my brother decided to message me and wake me up, going off about a post I shared on Facebook four days ago (I’ll explain and say what the post was under the cut)- so now I’m too pissed to sleep and even if I could those guys are back working at the house next to ours 🙃 I’m definitely in a mood today so if anyone wants angst or my more “moody” muses lemme know-

(I’m not gonna be using anyones actual name, I’ll come up with nicknames or some shit)

Okay so a little quick backstory before I say what the post was; so in 2020 I met this girl through mutual friends at a little “party” said friends were having. It was around this time of year and we all loved Halloween so we made a plan to get together at Megan’s house to carve pumpkins and drink apple cider. Flash forward a bit and I’m the only person who shows up to our little pumpkin carving get together. The two of us hit it off more and shortly after that we start hanging out like basically everyday- I got along great with her daughter and I got on pretty good with her boyfriend and all of her pets so it was great. We had a lot in common and we were both stoners; and that’s how we get to the next part of this story..

So, my brother sells weed- and Megan’s plug that she had was out or out of town or something, I can’t remember now but I basically told her about my brother and she started buying from him instead. Now they also started talking on Snapchat and I know what y’all are thinking, I should’ve known something was up. But here’s the thing y’all- my brother openly talked about how he thought she was attractive- however this girl would constantly put my brother down, say mean shit about him, call him annoying and clingy for snapping her all the time- and I just laughed and shit because my brother and I have a very rocky relationship, and she knew that because I’d talk to her about the shit he does and says to me. She never said anything super bad but just made it seem like she was genuinely annoyed by him-

So flash forward to the summer of 2021, Megan and I are barely talking at this point and my brother is now claiming he hates her, and all kinds of other shit- basically neither of them like each other anymore (even though Megan claimed she never really did) But one day she just kinda stopped talking and inviting me to hangout and I’ve lost so many friends that at this point I’m just unphased by this shit. But still, I tried to talk to her- my parents were planning my little brother and sisters birthday party, and because she has a daughter that likes to play with my sister I figured I’d ask if she wanted to come- but I know my brother has been bitching lately about Megan so I told my Mom when I was in the car with her that if her and her daughter came Bub needed to keep his mouth shut (my mom literally says this to me at every family function as if I’m usually the one who causes drama- plot twist; I’m not) And it's been so long now I can't remember exactly how the conversation went but I do know that she ended up telling me that Megan and my brother had been sleeping together. But that at that point they had stopped, hence the hostility of my brother- Ultimately I did end up inviting her to the party beforehand however she never even opened my message so it is what it is; I removed her on all socials like 3 days later so.. Now I was pissed, and still am honestly. At Megan, at my brother and honestly a little bit at my Mom too because both those women knew how my brother and I's relationship is and something like this has just made me dislike him even more. I also found out from my Mom that they were still sleeping together this year back in like March but they conveniently stopped around the time Megan and her boyfriend got engaged.

So here we are today- I shared a post on Facebook four days ago now that said (it was in all caps though) "I never seen a Pisces cheat 🧐" and so me being me and having the sense of humor I do, I shared it and said "One of my ex best friends literally cheated on her partner with my brother so like 🥴😅” (should’ve said in the post other people too but I didn’t; she fully admitted to sleeping/cheating with another friends brother so looking back I really should’ve seen this coming but I digress) And I think it’s important to note that I no longer have Megan or her now fiancé on my Facebook- and my brother also isn’t listed as my brother though I’m sure everyone knows who he is cause we have the same last name however I don’t give a rats ass 🤷🏻‍♀️ Especially after everything he’s done to me- Also the post got no likes or comments so I’m not totally sure anyone really even saw it.

Anyways, my brother screenshotted the post and messaged me going off about it- trying to compare him and Megan to me and this one guy I messed around with, who granted was friends with him but 1) they weren’t very close (whereas Megan and I were) and 2) he knew about it the entire time so it’s not like we were going behind his back (it’s also a mistake and a part of my life I’d rather not bring up as I was pretty manic at the time; which was partially because of my brother and his friends but I’m not gonna get into that rn) Also I think it’s important to note that I’ve always been the “black sheep” of my family, and I got bullied a lot so making friends for me is super fucking hard. Whereas my brother has a whole long ass list of friends, some he’s closer to and others he’s not. So, I was going back and forth with him for a couple minutes when I just decided to end this torment and take the post down to get him to shut his mouth when he decided to tell me, “Never post nun like that again.” And if anyone knows anything about me, I hate being told what to do; especially if it’s coming from someone two years younger than me that’s my fucking brother, not my boss. So now the post is staying up, and I told him he better not test me cause next time I’ll tag both him and her and we’ll see what happens then🤷🏻‍♀️

If you read this thing entirely; thank you and I’m honestly sorry- I just really needed to rant about this because it’s 11:34 now but it was like 10:40 when he messaged me and woke me up, and I went to bed at like 5am so I’ve had maybe 5 hours of sleep and I won’t be getting anymore today because of his ass and these house workers 🙃

#[ooc; out of chaos] #[warning; rant under the cut] #[tw; weed] #[tw; cheating] #[tw; drama I guess?] #[I also muted him on messenger cause I do not feel like dealing with him anymore] #[long post]

[iambrokenandbeautiful]

I realized I haven't written in a while, and I like writing. I had to take my philosophy of religion midterm today. It was an essay question, "is the belief in God rational?" Oh boy. Course I said it was, I do believe in God, even after this class. My birthday party was last weekend. SO FUCKING AWESOME. Who was all there? Me, Hannah, Allie, Croix, Chris, Jeff, Joe, Trista, Summer, Megan, Josh, Cullen, Dan, Kelsey, Tony, Nancy, Carly, Rachel, Zannie, Tony, Jerry, Michael, and eventually three random guys showed up. So much fun. Josh DJ-ed, which was slightly annoying but it felt like a real party. We had so much food and I got so high and so drunk, but not sick (expect for the cold.) Maybe I should do this like old times.

Friday, I had to go pick up Little Falls from St. Cloud at 2:30. I was gonna leave at 12:00 thinking it wouldn't really take the 2 hours and 40 minutes it was supposed to. Chris had worked that morning, and I was literally in the car about to leave when he called and said he was in Fargo and asked if I wanted McDonald's. I just wanted to see him before I left. I was dreading that weekend. So I waited, he gave me McDonald's and I left. I was 40 minutes late picking them up, which wasn't a big deal anyway seeing as when I got there I called Trista, she said they could "kinda" come out seeing as they had to watch two things first. Chris called and bitched that the asians were still sleeping and I bitched that I had to wait for 15 minutes for them, then Jeff and Summer weren't even there, I had to pick them up from the dorms. Rawrrr. So I did, and we waited 10 minutes for them too. Then we went straight to MOA. I had to pee so I didn't meet up with Hannah right away, I ran around the entire mall with Summer and Jeff to find one. Literally, the entire mall. Whole way around. Not until I got carded for looking under 16 and had to run back out to my car with Summer to get my ID. I shoved it in his face. Me and Hannah were both on walkways, but on different floors. Jeff went and found her. We went home and sat in the living room for a while while I cuddled Peppers, then fort nightt. Hannah and Allie left, it was just me and Little Falls, we got drunk in the fort and they came back and yelled at us, then the Chaska crowd, including Croix and Zannie and Rachel got high. It was an awkward, eh night. I didn't really enjoy it. I got sick overnight, could barely sleep, woke up at 11. They were all still sleeping. Rachel and I went to the halloween stores but couldn't find any affordable costumes. Then Chris and I went to Target, didn't get anything. I gave Little Falls the entrigue and we all went to Chris'. The lights were so cool. Eventually I made them drop me off, LF, and got Hannah and went shopping for Jello cause Chris didn't get any and I was mad. After I dropped Hannah off and went back to Chris', he was gone with Nancy, which further irritated me because I didn't know where to booze was or how to make the jello or where any of that shit was. Then Summer, Trista, and Joe didn't even get up to help me, but Jeff did. Brownie points. Chris and Nancy came back when I was hiding in the hallway. Nancy gave me a hug and Chris asked how I was doing. Like I said, I was mad, so I went home without telling anyone. I spray painted Rachel's hair, picked up Hannah, and we went to finish decorating at Chris'. Little Falls hadn't decorated shit like they said they would, so me and Hannah did it all. Ehh. Then they all finally came downstairs, and we had to leave to get Megan who I still didn't know if she was in Bloomington or EP. Even more irritating. I was in such a pissy mood. I got Cullen, no issue. He so cute. Then we went to Megan's house. She said she was on her way. I was so fucking mad. We gave her 10 minutes. Then I said 3 after that. She JUST made it. Luckily, I had just moved the booze because I thought she was with her Mom, she was. Her Mom was so cute and said it was all her fault, apologizing, wishing me a happy birthday. 

We finally got to Chris'. I missed a call from Allie, called her back and she called me a bitch all pissy. Foreshadowingg. I told her to just walk in, why did she need me to get her. We smoked a bowl first thing, after I took a UV Cake shot with Little Falls, because fuck everything. The bowl just the smokers separated from everyone else. We went

[headheartbellarke]

EIGHTEEN | Charlie Gillespie

PAIRING(s): Charlie Gillespie x sister’s best friend!fem reader

WARNING(s): mentions of abuse, trauma, fluff

WORDS: 3.9k

SUMMARY: “So kiss me where I lay down

My hands pressed to your cheeks

A long way from the playground

I have loved you since we were 18

Long before we both thought the same thing

To be loved and to be in love

All I can do is say that these arms

Are made for holding you.”

READ ON AO3 

OR READ HERE BELOW

    Charlie smiles, watching the sunlight dance on Y/N’s face, almost like little splashes of golden paint. She hums to whatever song is playing through her earphones, a faint smile teasing the corners of her lips. Her eyes are closed, and Charlie marvels at how peaceful and serene she looks. Her h/c hair surrounds her head like a halo, and he is tempted to reach forward and press a kiss to her temple.

  He doesn’t do that, of course. Instead, he gets up from his couch and joins Y/N on the floor, lying beside her. Her eyelashes flutter at his movement and quaint, kind e/c eyes hold his stare, eyebrows raised in question.

  “I thought you said that you were too mighty for the floor.” She teases, biting her lower lip to hide a smile. Charlie almost melts at that.

  “I never said that. Is everything okay up there?” He points his index finger at her head.

  The young woman of nineteen laughs mockingly. “Why, afraid you’re rubbing off your crazy on me?”

  Charlie rolls his eyes, and shifts closer to her, their arms touching slightly – and even that slight touch makes him feels butterflies in his stomach. It’s not uncommon, of course. Ever since he realized that he is indeed in love with her, anything that she does gives him butterflies. He doesn’t mind, of course – but he hates the fact that he is unable to tell her what effect she has on him. So, he resorts to ignoring or suppressing everything he feels for his little sister’s best friend instead.

  She pulls out an ear pod from her left ear and shoves it into Charlie’s ear. Eastside. She’s had this song on repeat, ever since she came to visit him in Vancouver, where he’s filming for the first season of Julie and The Phantoms.

  “I love this song. Reminds me of my first boyfriend. Remember him?” She says, softly.

  “Aaron. How could I forget? You begged me to cover for you at home so you could hang out with him.” He says, smiling softly at the memory. They were so young, Y/N just fourteen, and him sixteen. He remembers Y/N sitting beside him on the couch while he was watching a movie, all flushed and bothered, eyes continuously flitting to Charlie. He remembers saying, “I know you’re dying to tell me something.”

  She had nodded, looking around the Gillespies’ living room where they were currently seated in, apprehensively. “Promise me you won’t tell anyone.”

  He had jutted out his pinky finger and wrapped it around hers. “Never.”

  “I think I really, really, super-duper like Aaron.”

  “Aaron as in your next-door neighbor?”

  “Yep.”

  Charlie had smirked. “He’s such a dork. I can’t believe that you like him.”

  “Shut up, Char. He’s the sweetest.”

  He chuckled. “His hobby is taking pictures of trees… if that doesn’t scream ‘dork’, then I don’t know what does.”

  She had glared at him while Megan had entered the room, plopping down on the couch beside Charlie. “What’s up?”

  “I’m telling him about Aaron, and he thinks that he’s a dork.”

  Megan shrugged. “What’s wrong with that? He’s really cute. Also, he was asking about you today.”

  “Really?” Y/N’s eyes brightened. Charlie laughed, shaking his head. “You girls are weird. But I approve. He’s a nice kid.”

  “I wasn’t looking for your approval?”

  “Yes, you were.”

  The girls had rolled their eyes at him and he had wrapped his arms around the two.

  Y/N’s voice brings him back to the present. “Simple times.”

  Charlie faces her. “Everyone after him were horrible.”

  She narrows her eyes at the boy beside her. “No, you were just too overprotective.”

  “Nope. They were all horrible.”

  They weren’t. Charlie just hated anyone who showed an interest in Y/N. At first, he thought that it was probably because he had literally watched her grow up. But a couple of months later, when he watched her kiss Levitt from the swim team, he had felt a smoldering rage rise in his stomach, along with his heart clenching. That day, he had realized that maybe there was more to it than watching her grow up. A couple more months later, on his eighteenth birthday, when she had kissed him on his cheek and handed him a present wrapped in shiny, blue paper, he had felt butterflies in his stomach. He also could feel the ghost of her delicate lips against his skin for days after, like the remnants of a fire brushing against his cheek.

  When he unwrapped the present, he found a vintage, hardbound copy of his favorite book, Les Misérables, along with a note, saying: ‘I might’ve read your journal. Only the part about how much you loved hardcovers and the part about how much you hated the fact that no bookstores nearby sold it. Well, I also might’ve read the part about how frustrated you are with microwave timers. I feel you, dude. But, yeah, remember when I said that I was going to visit my sister in Montoc? I lied, LOL. I went to a vintage bookstore in Fredericton. I’m sorry for lying, but ‘twas for a good reason, huh? Hope you like this. Also, you’re my second favorite person, after Meg. Happy 18th, Charles. Love, Y/N.’

  That moment he had realized that he was completely, utterly, truly, madly, deeply in love with his little sister’s best friend.

  It’s been about three years since that, and he still hasn’t told her how he feels.

  Now, Y/N looks at him, and rolls her eyes. “Sheesh.”

  She props herself on her elbow. “When are we going out today?”

  “Jeremy said that he made a reservation at 6. So, we’ll leave half an hour earlier.”

  “Okay. Is Owen going with us?”

  “Yeah. I don’t trust him to drive in Canada.”

  She grins. “He’s cool.”

  “Maybe sometimes.”

  “Savannah and Madi are the coolest, though.”

  “Definitely, yeah.”

  “You never told me that you had a cute roomie, though.”

  “Yeah – wait what?”

  Y/N flashes him a teasing smile and pushes herself upward with the palm of her hands. She brushes off her yoga pants and extends an arm to Charlie who is currently panicking inside.

  “Do you like Owen?”

  “What if I do?”

  Charlie must have looked as horrified as he had felt because she laughs and says, “I’m just messing with you.”

  “Thank god.”

***

  “Finally!” Y/N yells, kicking off her black, leather heels, which land near Charlie’s feet. He laughs, kicking them to the side.

  “You’re so dramatic.”

  “I dare you to wear heels like that for a day. See how you feel.”

  Owen pipes from behind them, closing the door to their apartment. “Oh, I did. My friend Dani made me wear them for a video. It was the most painful day of my life.”

  “See!” Y/N high fives his roommate as Charlie scrunches up his face. “How’d she find heels in your size, dude?”

  He laughs, and extends an arm toward the other two, who hand him their coats, muttering ‘thank you’ individually. He walks inside, yelling, “I’m fucking tired. Going to sleep.”

  “Don’t forget to check the stove!” Charlie yells back, hearing his roommate affirm his request.

  It’s just the two of them standing in the foyer now, and Charlie can’t stop staring at her. She’s wearing this beautiful red dress that compliments her skin perfectly, clinging to her body in all the right places – he had himself gifted her this dress on her nineteenth birthday. (Not really. His mother had picked the dress.)

  She hasn’t noticed him staring, though.

  “Ugh, I can’t wait to get out of this dress.” She walks inside.

  Charlie pauses and purses his lips, trying to stop himself from picturing him doing it. He breathes out raggedly and follows her inside – trying (and failing) to shove that mental picture away.

  Reaching the living room, he falls back onto the couch, which has been his bed for the past few days that Y/N has been here. She had protested, of course. But she already has so much trouble sleeping – she’s had it ever since she was a child.

  Y/N hadn’t had the best childhood. Charlie faintly remembers his mom pulling him and his sister into the kitchen one day when Y/N left their house after spending the whole day there.

  “Mom? What happened to Y/N?” Megan had asked, childlike innocence dripping off her tone.

  Charlie had nodded, saying, “How’d she fall down the stairs? That bruise looked nasty.”

  Their mother had sighed, and Charlie still remembers the pain in her eyes. “Honey. I want you to listen carefully, okay? And not tell anyone. You two think you can do that?”

  They nodded enthusiastically.

  “There are good people in this world – like Y/N. But there are also bad people, people who hurt the good people. And sometimes, sometimes, your parents can also be bad people.”

  “That’s not true!” Megan had protested, their mother smiling.

  “Maybe not for you. I hope so. But Y/N’s parents – they aren’t the best people, okay? They…uh… I’m not going to excuse their actions. They, uh, hurt Y/N.”

  “So, they pushed her down the stairs?” Charlie asked, his eyes widened. He could not understand how the people that loved you the most could do that to you, especially to someone like Y/N. He’s known her his entire life, ever since the Y/L/Ns moved next door when he was still in diapers.

  “I don’t know. Something happened. She was too shaken up to talk about it.”

  “But – but – she’s the best person ever! Why would her mom and dad do that to her?” Megan had protested, eyes welling with tears at the thought of her best friend getting hurt.

  “I don’t know, honey. I wish I did, I really do.” Their mother paused for a long moment. “I want you two to always be nice to her, alright? No matter what happens. Because, right now, she feels alone. I can see it in her eyes – she’s scared, confused, lonely. I know you two love her so much, and I want you guys to make sure that she knows it, okay? Make sure that she never feels lonely, all right? Make sure that she’s always safe and comfortable, as long as she’s with us, you.”

  They had nodded, their hearts welling up with love for their friend.

  After their mother hugged the two of them, Charlie’s twelve-year-old sister had run off to the other room, to call her best friend and tell her just how much she loves her.

  Charlie had lingered in the kitchen, too sad over what he’d just been told.

  “Maman?”

  “Yes, honey?”

  “Can’t we just keep her for ourselves?”

  “If we could, we would. I would like nothing more. But that’s absolutely not legal, mon chéri.”

  “Oh. That’s unfair.”

  His mother had flashed him a sad smile. He had taken both of his hands in his, and said sincerely, “I promise you, maman. I’m always gonna protect her. No matter what.”

  His mother had pressed a kiss into his tousled hair and whispered, “I expect nothing less.”

  It’s been more than seven years since, but Charlie still does everything in his power to make sure that she is always safe and happy.

  “Hey, Char?” Her voice brings him back from his childhood.

  “Yeah?”

  “That couch doesn’t look comfortable.” She shrugged one shoulder.

  “It is! I promise you.” He lied. It definitely wasn’t comfortable. The blinding pain in his neck is proof of that.

  “Don’t lie to me. Come on, sleep in your bed.”

  He shook his head.

  “You’re not gonna sleep on the couch, Y/N. Seriously. You’re right, it’s too uncomfortable.”

  “I wasn’t gonna. We’ll sleep together. That came out wrong. I mean, we can both sleep in the same bed, we’re both adults.”

  Charlie wanted to protest, but the hopeless romantic in him drowned all objections.

  “We’ll put pillows between us, okay? And it’s not like we haven’t slept in the same bed before. Remember my seventeenth? We were so drunk that we thought that the bed was a magnet, and we were screws.” She continued, looking away.

  Charlie smiled up at her, remembering the feeling he had the next morning when he had woken up to find Y/N curled up into him, her head tucked into the crook of his neck. “All right. If it’s okay with you.”

  She nods, walking into his bedroom, with Charlie following close behind. Both them wordlessly change and freshen up in the bathroom, and Charlie falls face first in his bed.

  “Oh. My. God.”

  Y/N laughs, sitting at the corner of his bed. “Knew it.”

  Charlie grins at her, feeling absolutely euphoric, especially with the buzz from all the drinks he’s had tonight still lingering in his head like a tattoo kiss. She slides under the covers, burrowing her face into the soft pillows. “I can’t function anymore. Bye.”

  He laughs softly, squeezing her shoulder, to which she softly smiles. He slides under the cover, resting on his side to face her, or rather a mess of h/c hair and soft, rhythmic breaths. He closes his eyes, switching off the light, but he knows that he will not be getting much sleep tonight, especially with the fuzzy citrus scent of her perfume everywhere and the heat from her body consuming him.

***

  It’s 1:20 AM and Charlie can’t sleep. Turns out that being in the same bed with the girl he’s been in love with since he was eighteen is a very, very bad idea. He’s put as much space between them as possible, yet he still feels vigilant and hot. His mind is betraying him: all he can think about is how beautiful she looks when the moonlight streaming through his window is casting shadows on her face, or how she’s sometimes saying things (really, really weird things, though – Charlie doesn’t understand anything), how much she looks like a little cat while she’s snuggled into the covers, or how she flails her arms while she’s asleep.

  He considers crashing in Owen’s room for the night. But as soon as Y/N starts moving around, still sleeping, he holds that thought and watches her instead.

  He can see her getting agitated, as she tosses and turns. She continues murmuring something, but it’s still all jumbled, and it hits Charlie.

  He props himself on his elbow and leans close to her face. “Y/N. Hey. Come back to me. Y/N. Honey. You’re safe. You’re safe.”

  She gasps, as consciousness floods in her system. She looks confused for a second, and Charlie sits up, right beside her. “Listen to me. You’re safe. I’m here. It’s okay. You’re okay. Everything is okay.”

  She exhales, eyes closing for a second.

  “Are you okay?” Charlie asks when her breathing has turned cadenced.

  Her eyes widen and lips part. “I’m so sorry.”

  “You don’t ever need to apologize for that. Are you okay?”

  “Yeah. Yeah. I just – ever since I left home, I’ve been getting these nightmares.” She says, softly. Charlie lays next to her, turning to face her, while she mirrors his actions.

  “What do you see?” He asks.

  “Mostly my childhood. You know, my dad pushing me down the stairs. Or my mother telling me that I’m a horrible person and no one will ever love me, and she should have aborted me. Or my dad breaking the mirror the one time I got a B in math. Or my parents fighting. Or – you know, just a montage of my parents’ greatest hits.”

  She breathes out shakily.

  “Getting away didn’t stop the nightmares, huh?” He asks, resting a hand on her warm cheek.

  She scoots closer. “No. They still text me sometimes, mostly to remind me that I’m a terrible person and that I’m gonna go to hell for walking out on them and not going to Harvard.”

  “Y/N, don’t you dare –”

  “No. I’m happier than I’ve ever been. Walking out was the best decision that I’ve ever made.”

  He smiles softly at her.

  “You and Megan… god, you two saved my life. I would never have had the courage to get this far if it wasn’t for you guys.”

  “No, honey. It was all you. You’re the strongest person we know.”

  “Shush. Let me compliment you in peace. You guys are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, you know.”

  She smiles, reaching forward to tangle run her hands through Charlie’s hair. They were dangerously close now: Charlie could see the curve of her nose, the lingering red lipstick color on her lips and count the number of eyelashes she has.

  “You’re the best thing that’s happened to us, too.”

  Charlie can feel something in the space between them, something pulling them close. It is cold outside, but here, in the cocoon they’ve created, he feels warm and at home.

  “Like, thank you so much for pushing me to get into law school. Now, I’m learning how to help millions of little girls who are going through what I went through, and it makes everything worth it. I feel like I don’t say this enough, but Charlie. Thank you for everything.”

  He smiles, trying to retort something funny but her proximity has jumbled his mind.

  “I know you’re really busy with your life, but thanks for still thinking of me sometimes.”

  That breaks Charlie out of his daze. “What?”

  “You know. You’re in a Netflix show, working with Kenny freaking Ortega and all these incredible people – and I’m enormously proud of you, by the way – and… well, you’ll soon not have that much time for your little sister’s best friend, you know?”

  “You’re not just my little sister’s best friend, Y/N.”

  “Yeah, I’m your friend, alright. But soon you’ll be meeting celebrities and models and actors and then you wouldn’t have time for me anymore.”

  Charlie furrows his brows. “Where is this coming from, Y/N?”

  “I just had a lot of time to think today.” She turns on her back, facing the ceiling.

  He hates the fact that she is so unpredictable: he never knows what’s going on in her head or what she is feeling. That’s one of the reasons that he’s kept his feelings for her a secret for almost three years.

  “I saw you with that model today. At the bar. Uh. So, I thought that you’re probably gonna meet a lot of them in LA. Models and Hollywood girls and all that. So, you’ll probably not have any time for me anymore.”

  Charlie shakes his head, recalling the model he was talking to earlier today. Or rather, yesterday. Carol. She was really nice, sweet, and beautiful – and definitely interested in Charlie. But his focus had been on Y/N, who was having a dance off with Owen and Savannah, all evening – or rather, all the time. He had tried to focus on the Carol, he really did – but after an hour, she herself realized that he wasn’t into her and whispered a ‘good luck with her’ to him before leaving to go back to her friends.

  “Y/N, that’s not true –”

  “It’s okay, Charlie. It’s good. Your life shouldn’t be stuck in the same place. It should be getting better, and you should be meeting new people, you know? You’ve been alone for a weirdly long time and it’s freaking your mom out. So, I know you’re gonna fall in love with someone and then you’ll be too busy –”

  “God, Y/N, how are you so fucking oblivious?” Charlie snaps, annoyance coursing through his veins.

  Her eyes widen at his harsh tone of voice, and it shocks Charlie, too. He’s never, ever raised his voice at her.

  “What?”

  Maybe it’s having her so incredibly close that causes him to finally snap. “Y/N, I have been in love with you ever since I was eighteen. You’re the only person that I want, and you’re the reason that I’ve been alone for a weirdly long time.”

  He immediately regrets saying that. Y/N is sitting up, and she is looking around everywhere, trying to avert Charlie’s eyes. He hides his face behind his hands, sinking deeper into the covers and trying to create a hole and fall down to the center of the earth.

  “I think you’ve had too much to drink today.”

  He groans into his hands, glad that he’s under the covers and the girl can’t see his absolutely scarlet face. “Oh, for god’s sake. Dude. I wrote you an entire ballad when I was nineteen because I realized that this is exactly what’s gonna happen – that I’m always gonna be in love with you, and you’re always gonna think of me as your best friend’s older brother.”

  He feels the covers shift above his head, and is greeted with Y/N’s face, a vulnerable look in her eyes. “Do you really mean it?”

  “Of course, I do. You’re my family – do you really think that I’m gonna joke about something like this and ruin our friendship? The only reason I’m even telling you this is because I’m incredibly frustrated that you’re so oblivious and you’re so fucking pretty. And so close. See, this is exactly why I wanted to sleep on the couch. Because I knew that I would lose it.”

  There’s a sudden flurry of movement and her lips are on his’, and they’re kissing, kissing, kissing. Charlie is too shocked to do anything at first but as soon as the warmth courses through his system and the butterflies go wild in his gut, he pulls her closer, rising up. She sits in his lap, straddling him, their hands getting lost in each other’s hairs – both of them trying to be closer, closer, closer to make up for all the lost years and to keep feeling the contentment that they feel from just being close to each other. She tastes like Charlie’s mint toothpaste and his dreams – like everything he’s ever wanted.

  As they separate for air, Y/N rests her forehead on his. “I thought you knew.”

  “What?” He’s surprised to find his voice hoarse.

  “That I’m in love with you.”

  He can’t stop the grin on his face from escaping. “What?”

  “I thought Meg told you. Or your mum. Or anyone really. Everyone’s called me out on it. I’ve always had a crush on you but dating all those guys in high school made me realize that I was kind of, you know, in love with you.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Same reason as you. You’re my family, Charlie. I didn’t wanna lose what we have just because of… you know.”

  Y/N slides off his lap and lies on the bed, next to him and he mirrors her actions, and she rests her head on his chest, the frantic beating in his chest her background music. He drapes an arm around her shoulders, desperate to have her close.

  “We’re both cowards, eh?”

  She giggles.

  “Wait. Meg knew?”

  “Of course. She’s my best friend.”

  “You know, one day I got drunk and told her that ‘I’m 100% attracted to your best friend sexually and emotionally and everythingally.’ I kept wondering why she was laughing.”

  “I hate her.” She buries her face in Charlie’s chest, giggling.

  Charlie laughs and pulls her in for another kiss, desperate to hold her again, to feel the high he only feels around her. She smiles against his lips, before a thought occurs to him. “Wait. You were jealous of the bar girl, weren’t you?”

  “Shut up, you dork.”

  They’re only half aware of the snowstorm raging outside from the warm cocoon they’ve created in each other’s arms. Maybe miracles really do exist.

***

drop a message in my ask or in my messages if u wanna be on the jatp taglist!! requests are also open <3

#charlie gillespie #charlie gillespie x reader #charlie gillespie imagines #charlie gillespie fanfic #charlie gillespie fanfiction #charlie gillespie x y/n #julie and the phantoms #luke patterson #owen patrick joyner #owen joyner #jeremy shada #savannah lee may #madison reyes #charlie x reader #julie and the himbos #charlie gillespie imagine #charlie gillespie oneshot #charlie gillespie x fem!reader #charlie gillespie fluff #julie and the phantoms imagine #jatp imagine #jatp fanfiction #jatp fanfic #jatp oneshots #jatp charlie gillespie #fluff

[yayeetsonny]

Big surprise~USWNT x Baby reader

Prompt: Team finds out baby r is dating a famous person via instagram live.

Requested by: @khiaraaa-in-spacee​

Y/N PRO

Being a professional soccer player and playing in both the NWSL for the Orlando Pride and at the national level for the USWNT at the age of 18 is a great honor and privilege, I got to play the sport I loved nearly everyday and I was able to make a living from it, but it can be exhausting at times. Which is why I’m glad that we have a few weeks off before I have to report to the next national camp for our next set of friendlies. I live in LA with my girlfriend Billie Eilish and being able to spend some quality time with her after months of being on the go is great. The only drawback is that the team has no idea I’m dating someone famous, I have kept that part of my life private, It’s not that I don’t trust them, I do; they’re like sisters to me and the older players even sometimes act as parental figures, but Billie and I agreed to keep our relationship as private as possible and agreed that when the time was right, she would meet the girls.

Speaking of Billie she and her brother Finneas were working on some music in the little studio like set up she created in our basement so I decided to bring them a snack.

“Hey babe, I thought I’d bring you guys a snack since you’ve been working so hard.” I said, handing her the bowl of berries, and handing Finneas a bowl of popcorn.

“Aw, thank you baby. That was very sweet of you.”

“How’s the song writing going?”

“Slow but we’re making progress.” Finneas said

“Good to hear.”

I spent some time with them looking at what they had written out so far and listening to some of the beats they thought of using before excusing myself to go do an instagram live. Even though I was technically on vacation I made sure to still engage with fans and I looked forward to the weekly lives. I had previously sent out a tweet and posted on my instagram story that I would be on live soon so I knew a substantial amount of people including some of my teammates were bound to be on fairly quickly.

“Hey guys! How’s everyone doing today?”

I watched as the comment section was flooded with people telling me how they were or sending in heart and heart eye emojis.

“I’m doing great, can you say happy birthday Abigail?” I said under my breath.

“So glad to hear it! Happy birthday Abigail!” I said

I continued to read the comments as they came in, squinting as I did so and laughed when I saw a familiar name pop up.

“Hey Alex, no I’m not blind. I’m squinting because the font is small.”

She sent several laughing emoji’s in return.

“Hey Pinoe, Jess, Abby, Julie, Moe, Christen, Tobs, Tierna, Mal, Sam, Emily and Rose.” I said, out of breath after reading all their names off in one go. My eyes widened when I noticed several more of my teammates had joined the lives.

“Ah, and Hi Becky, Carli, A.D., Lindsey, Crystal, Allie, Ashlyn, Ali, Alyssa, and Kelley.”

I was practically wheezing by the time I finished listing everyone’s names.

“The gang’s all here I see.” I laughed.

I saw several of their comments popping up, all of which seemed to be referring to the same thing.

“Breath little one.”

“Drink some water, please.”

“Are you okay?”

“That wheezing doesn’t sound too good.”

“Go get your inhaler.”

I rolled my eyes playfully at their fussing, even from miles away they found a way to baby me. I was the youngest on the team so they felt the need to be protective.

“Guys relax, I’m perfectly okay. I just forgot to breath for a sec. And I’m 18 years old Chris, I’m not little.” 

Several of them sent comments back disagreeing which I chose to ignore.

“Okay guys send in your questions and I’ll do my best to answer most of them.”

Comments began flowing in and I started to answer some of them.

“What’s your favorite holiday?”

“Well I’d have to say Christmas for sure. Not only is it a time for me to spend with family and the food is great I’ll admit I like getting and giving presents too.”

“ Who would you want with you if you were deserted on an island?” “I’d have to say… Alyssa and… Julie. I’d want those two with me because Alyssa would keep mostly to herself and not drive me crazy like Kelley or Emily would with their endless energy but she would be a great conversationalist and she would share her warmth by cuddling with me, and Julie because she’s tough as nails and I feel like she would be good at gathering food and finding a way to provide shelter.” 

Alex, Pinoe and Tobin voiced their offense at not being chosen while the others, minus Christen just said they would let me fend for myself if we ever got stranded together. Christen said

“They are excellent choices and I agree.” 

Julie and Alyssa gloated 

“Ahaha we’re her favorites.”

“Now we know who the favorites are and I can’t say I’m surprised that I’m one of them.”

I continued to answer questions, they ranged from asking what my favorite color was to what my best moments the field was. I was in the middle of answering a question about my most embarrassing in-game moment was when Billie suddenly came running into the room, excited to show me something.

“Hey babe, Finn and I got down this amazing chorus, wanna hear it?”

I tried to find a way to mute the live while I talked to her but it was too late. She realized what I was doing, and her eyes almost popping out of her head. She looked at me worriedly while I just laughed nervously. I knew everyone had heard her call me “babe” because they began asking who I was dating and begging to see them. Emily commented

“Yeah Y/N spill the tea.”

Billie and I just stared at each other, slightly communicating with our eyes before she nodded and made her way over to sit next to me. We were both nervous but knew that everyone had to find out sometime, and while this wasn’t the way we had planned for the girls to find out I hoped they were cool about it.

“Guys… I’d like you to meet my girlfriend Billie. Billie Eilish.” I said to the camera.

“Hey guys, this wasn’t planned but I’m glad to be here.” She said

What followed was an outpouring of support and joy from the fans and I was incredibly relieved, we both were.  I didn’t see any comments from the team and that was slightly concerning. I knew they were all still on and paying attention. Did they not like her? Were they mad at me for hiding my relationship from them? 

I smiled at the camera, both Billie and I thanking fans for their love. I hadn’t told her this yet but I was starting to worry about what my teammates really thought of Billie. After answering a few more questions we decided to call it a day and promised to do lives together often.

“That was fun! Sorry for putting you on the spot like that I totally forgot you were doing a live.” Billie said coming up to hug me.

“It’s okay, everyone seems to love you and support us.” I said absentmindedly scrolling through my phone waiting for something, anything from the girls.

“You okay Y/N?”

“Yeah I’m okay, I just haven’t heard from the girls since you came on the live and none of them said anything after.

“Wait the whole team was watching?”

“Yeah they were.”

“And they didn’t say anything after I came on?”

“Nope.”

“Do you think they have a problem with us being together?”

“I’ll be honest, I’m not sure.”

After some more waiting I finally got a text from Morgan in the group chat.

“Group Skype in 5, be there.”

Yikes that was a little cold. I wasn’t one to be afraid of my teammates, except on the rare occasion one of them was in a mood but I couldn’t help but be nervous to talk to them. I told Billie what was going to happen and I could tell she was nervous too but she decided to wait in the other room to give us some privacy, only joining if requested.

“I’m sure it won’t be long. I love you.” I said kissing her.

“I love you too.”

As soon as I joined the call it was silent.

“Hi guys.” I said timidly.

“Y/N.” Kelley said

“So… A famous girlfriend huh?” Megan said

“Yeah… she’s really talented and I’m so proud of all she’s accomplished. Our relationship is really special to me.” I said more confident than before.

“She seems very nice.” Chris said

“She is so kind and sweet.”

“Does she make you happy?” Mal asked me in a serious tone.

“Incredibly.”

“Then that’s all that matters to us.”

“I-I thought you guys were mad at me or didn’t approve of her.”

I saw several of the girls’ eyebrows furrow and they all looked confused and concerned.

“What made you think that?”

“Well for starters, none of you commented anything after she came on the live and then after no one texted me for over an hour. I really thought you were upset or something.” I said sadly

“Aw, bub. We’re sorry. We didn’t mean to make you feel like that. Looking at it now, we see how it looked but we were just texting each other, trying to plan a way to fly out and surprise you and meet her in person. We got caught up in taking about how you, the baby of the team; our baby is dating someone as famous as Billie Eilish, much less dating anyone at all.” Alex said, everyone else agreeing

“You guys didn’t think I could be dating anyone?” I asked slightly offended 

“No, no. We didn’t mean it like that. We just meant that you did such a good job at hiding it from everyone and you never talked about liking any girls or boys or non-binary people that we thought you weren’t interested in dating at the moment.” Ali said.

“Oh.”

 I understood now why they thought that, I had never shown any interest in anyone but it was simply because I was already taken and saw no reason to entertain, think about or talk about the idea of anyone else.

“We love her as an artist and are sure she is a great person, especially if she makes you happy.” Allie said.

“Would you guys like to talk to her right now? She’s just in the other room, I can go get her.”

“OMG YESSSS”

“ABSOLUTELY”

“WHAT KIND OF A QUESTION IS THAT?” Crystal, Sam and Abby all boomed 

“And everyone else who isn’t trying to break your eardrums agrees too.” Ashlyn said giggling.

“Next time warn earbud users will you? Geez” Megan said rubbing her ears

“I’ll be right back.” I said chuckling at their antics.

I went into the room next door to get Billie so she could say Hi to the girls.

“Hey babe.” I said

“Hey, how’d your call with the team go?”

“Actually it’s not over yet. They want to meet you.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, they were never mad or upset. They were just planning to surprise me and come out to meet you in person.”

“Oh wow. Not what I was expecting to hear but that’s very nice of them.”

“Yeah, you ready to meet my “moms” and sisters?” I said giggling

“As I’ll ever be.”

When we reentered the room we could hear them all chanting 

“GO, GO, GO, GO.”

When I looked at the screen I saw Mal chugging a giant bottle of sprite.

“What in the world? I’m gone for all of 5 Minutes and come back to see… whatever Mal is doing.”

“We triple dog dared her to chug the bottle of sprite after she pulled it out and took one measly sip of it.” Tierna shrugged

“You’re all so weird.”

“But you loveeee us.” Emily said 

“That I do. How you holding up, Pugh?” I said looking back at Mal and seeing she didn’t look so good.

“Moms, I don’t feel so good.” She said referring to Christen and Tobin

“Well baby, maybe you shouldn’t have chugged the whole thing.” Chris said pouting at her sympathetically.

“You were chanting with everyone else!” Mal said annoyed

“didn’t want to be a buzz kill.” She shrugged

“Wait a little bit and then heat up yourself some chicken noodle soup.” Tobin said

“Okayyy.”

Mal flopped dramatically back on her bed as some of the girls gave her props and others laughed at her very apparent sore stomach.

“I’m so sorry. They’re always like this.” I said turning to Billie 

“It’s cool. Props Mal, that was impressive.”

“Thanks Billie.”

“So Billie, how long have you and Y/N been together? Who kissed who first, and have you guys had sex yet?” Kelley asked

Of course she’s gonna be the one to put my girlfriend on the spot. Classic Kelley O’Hara

“Umm…” Billie looked at me uncomfortably

“We-we’ve been together for 7 and a half months. I kissed her, and no we haven’t.” I said covering for her as she froze.

“I see.” She said scratching her chin.

“Kelley, cool it with the grilling. We just met her.” Alex said coming to Billie’s defense.

“You’re right, sorry about that. I just want what’s best for Y/N. We all do.” She said sheepishly

“Nah, it’s cool. I totally get it.”

We continued to talk and the girls got to know Billie pretty well and they hit it off. I was relieved that they approved of her and that they were happy for me. They told me when they would be arriving in LA and how long they would be staying and we all got excited at the idea of seeing each other soon.

//

Sorry for any mistakes

-N

#uswnt #uswnt imagines #uswnt imagine #uswnt x reader #alex morgan #christen press #tobin heath #mal pugh #megan rapinoe #abby dahlkemper #crystal dunn #emily sonnett #ali krieger #reader x billie eilish #billie eilish

[gamergirl929]

Finding You Again (But We Were Never Lost) (Tobin Heath x Reader)

Anonymous Request: can you do one with tobin where they break up, then come back to each other? just like refinding love or what not?

I wouldn’t have this fic without @themanbexl coming up with an idea like... Months beforehand that fits this fic PERFECTLY, so thanks loveeee!

This one gets PRETTY heavy, so be ready!

SOOOO, considering it’s someone’s birthday today, I thought it was only fair to post ONLY for her today.

Happy Birthday to one of the greatest forwards of all time, the no-look shooting, the fancy dribbling, spicy Nutmeg Queen herself, Tobin Heath!!!!!  

Tobin’s cleats clicked and squeaked on the hospital’s floor as she sprinted around the corner, far ahead of her teammates considering the second she got the call from the hospital she was off like a shot.  

She zoomed passed nurses and doctors alike until she made it, skidding to a halt, at the reception desk.  

“Y/N...” She pants. “Y/N Y/L/N, where is she?!” She shouts, the receptionist searching through her computer.  

“Can I ask your na-

“Tobin. Tobin Heath.”  

The woman nods.  

“She’s been taken into surgery, if you could wait-

“I am NOT waiting out here, I want to be there when she’s out.”  

The receptionist licks her lips, taking a deep breath.  

“Let me see what I can do.”  

                                                          ***

Finally, the nurses bring the entire team to an empty room to wait, Tobin pacing the length of the room, back and forth and back and forth.  

The two of you had recently broken up, recently being nearly a year ago.  

Of course, that didn’t mean the love Tobin felt for you diminished in anyway, but what DID happen, was that she’d started dating whereas you had remained single.  

Tobin’s phone vibrates in her pocket, but she couldn’t careless, right now, all that mattered was Y/N, and all that mattered was knowing if you were going to be okay.  

The door swings open, revealing a man in a pair of scrubs a man Tobin is on in a matter of seconds.  

“WHY THE HELL IS NO ONE TELLING ME ANYTHING!?” She screams angrily, only taking a step back when Christen pulls her back.  

“You’re here for Ms. Y/L/N?” He asks and everyone nods.  

“She’s out of surgery, she was bleeding internally but we got that taken care of...”  

The doctor takes a deep breath, rubbing his hands together.  

“She has a compound fracture to her right tibia, which required us to go in there and place some pins and screws... I’m afraid she’s going to be on the shelf for a while.” He frowns as Tobin falls into an empty seat, hands sliding to the back of her neck as her fingers intertwine.  

“What even happened?” Kelley asks with a frown.  

“Car accident... A fatal one for the Uber driver..”  

Tobin picks her head up.  

“When can I see her?” She asks, forgetting her teammates entirely for a moment. “I mean w-we...”  

Emily’s hand runs down Tobin’s back, the woman leaning against her while Alex slips an arm around her middle.  

“When we get her in a room, you’ll be the first to know.” He nods, holding his hand out to Tobin, the woman shaking his hand.  

“Thanks.”  

The doctor briskly slips out of the room leaving behind a stunned USWNT, all of them rallying around Tobin, who was beside herself.  

Tobin’s phone vibrates in her pocket and she snarls, jerking it from her pocket and glaring at the screen, dropping it on the table.  

“Blaire?” Christen asks and Tobin nods, tears sliding down her cheeks.  

“All that matters right now is Y/N.”  

Kelley’s eyes dart to Christen, the two sharing a glance, Ashlyn and Ali sharing a similar glance before turning to Megan.  

The door swings back open and Tobin abruptly moves to her feet.  

“We’ve got her in a room.”  

“Where?” Tobin asks, practically on the doctor’s heels as he leads her down the hallway, the others right behind her.  

“Damn it.” Christen mumbles when she swipes Tobin’s phone, and chases after her teammates, the group of women eventually screeching to a halt.  

Tobin’s eyes fill with tears when she sees you.  

“Y/N...” Mallory whispers with a frown, watching as Tobin slowly makes her way into the room, brown orbs on your bruised, broken and scraped form.  

Tobin can’t take her eyes off you, a tube running down your throat, cuts and bruises along the side of your head and face, your right arm mangled bruised and slashed.

Tobin zeroes in on your leg and lets out a sob, the woman moving towards the bed, staring down at your leg.  

Tears stream down her face as she gently cups your cheek, thumb running along your bruised and scratched flesh.  

“Y/N...” Tobin whispers, shaking her head. “Look at you...” Tobin drops to her knees beside the bed, her forehead resting on the bed beside your arm.  

“I’m here Y/N... I hope you can hear me...” She whispers. “I’m here...”  

The rest of the USWNT file in, each and every one of them looking at you with tears in their eyes.  

Emily and Lindsey stand at the end of the bed, tears running down their cheeks as they look down at your leg sadly.  

Christen stands beside Tobin, a hand on her back as she tries to comfort her best friend who’s sobbing into the bed.  

Kelley, Alex, Ashlyn, Ali and Megan all crowd around the forward, doing their best to comfort her, the woman shaking her head.  

“You have to wake up, please...” Tobin sniffles. “Please wake up.”  

Again Tobin’s phone vibrates, the forward taking a deep breath.  

“Want me to tell her what’s going on?” Christen asks, earning a weak nod from Tobin, the forward couldn’t care less about Blaire right now, not when you were right here, and you were so broken.  

                                                          ***

Blaire was NOT happy with the amount of times she had to call before Tobin answered, and she wasn’t exactly happy that Tobin was doting over her ex, Christen could tell even though she hadn’t said it flat out.

There was no way Christen was going to tell Tobin that either, the forward off in her own little world, sitting at your bedside, along with her teammates.  

Tear-filled brown orbs were laser focused on you, waiting for any sign of life, but she hadn’t got any, at least until now.  

The heart monitor beside your bed begins to beep rapidly, Tobin’s brown orbs going wide when she sees your eyes fluttering open.  

Y/E/C orbs dart around the room, zeroing in on Tobin’s brown orbs, your face scrunching up in pain.  

“Sit still. Sit still.” She whispers, running her fingers through your hair as the doctors and nurses rush in, moving to remove the breathing tube from your throat.  

The seconds it’s out you turn to Tobin.  

“Toby...” You rasp, face contorted into a look of pure pain.  

“I'm here, I’m here.” She chants, brushing a strand of hair out of your face.  

“Y/N, I need you to tell me your pain level.” The doctor rounds the bed and you sniffle.  

“10.” You say without missing a beat, Tobin frowning as you grimace.  

“It’s all gonna be okay, we’re going to take care of you.”  

You briefly note that the doctor must’ve increased your pain meds when your eyelids flutter, sleep moments from taking you.  

Tobin cups your cheek, the woman’s eyes softening as your eyes lock.  

“Will you stay...?” You whisper, Tobin smiling softly as she nods.  

“Always.”

                                                          ***

Tobin was true to her word, staying in your hospital room each and every night unwilling to leave your side unless she had to.  

Your hospital room became grand central for the USWNT, always going in and out, in and out, checking on you and Tobin since she refused to leave your bedside.  

What Tobin didn’t realize was someone was coming into the hospital, not to visit you, but to visit her, that someone being her girlfriend.  

Mallory’s eyes widen when Blaire walks into the room, completely unnoticed by Tobin, whose attention is all on you.  

She clears her throat until Tobin turns around, her eyes wide.  

“H-Hey...” Tobin kisses Blaire’s cheek, the woman painfully aware of the fact that Tobin had avoided her lips.  

“What are you doing here?” She asks, and Blaire smirks.  

“Well, I figured you were here, and I had nothing going on so...” She shrugs, glancing at the bed where you’re lying, face impassive, something that makes Mallory scowl.  

“Bitch.” She whispers to Rose, the woman nodding as she too scowls.  

“So, this is where you’ve been?” She asks, a bit of an angry lilt to her voice, something that makes Tobin’s brows furrow.  

“Well, yeah... I mean Y/N is hurt...” She shrugs and Blaire scoffs.  

“She looks asleep too me... You could at least answer my calls.”  

Tobin’s eyes narrow, hands balling into fists, but before she can reply someone clears their throat.  

Blaire flips around coming face to face with not only Christen Press, but Kelley O’Hara as well, though before THEY can say anything you let out a whine.  

Tobin’s ears perk up as she turns away from Blaire and hurries to your bedside.  

“Y/N?” She whispers, your eyes fluttering for a moment before they open.  

“Toby?” You rasp, the woman grabbing your water, bringing the straw to your lips.  

Blaire opens her mouth to say something, but is cut off when both Kelley and Christen move to stand between her and Tobin.  

“I think you should come back later...” Kelley’s eyes narrow.  

“Yeah, Y/N needs her rest.” Christen growls, the blonde rolling her eyes before she turns around and stomps out of the room.  

“Are you in any pain?” Tobin asks, brushing a bit of hair out of your face and you grimace.  

“Yeah... Was that Blaire?” You rasp, the forward turning around to Blaire, who is nowhere to be found.  

“Ye-Yeah, I guess she left.” Tobin shrugs, turning back to you, missing the way Christen and Kelley smile at one another before glancing at Mallory and Rose, the two grinning.  

Tobin shakes her head, cupping your cheek.  

“I’m so sorry Y/N...” She whispers, tucking your hair behind your ear and you hum.  

“Why...?”  

Tobin shakes her head.  

“I should’ve been there, I should’ve...”  

Tobin’s eyes widen when you cover her hand on your cheek with one of your marred hands.  

“You couldn’t have known.” You yawn, leaning heavily against her palm. “What matters is you’re here now...” You yawn, the forward grinning.  

“Yeah... I’m here.”  

                                                          ***

Unfortunately, Blaire makes her presence known at the hospital constantly, snarking at Tobin each and every time which would result in an argument.  

During one argument you woke, hearing the two women going at it in the hallway, Blaire angrily saying your name.  

You turn to Ali and Ashlyn, the two women sending you soft smiles despite the row currently going on in the hall.  

“What is Blaire doing here?” You rasp, Ashlyn rolling her eyes.  

“I don’t know but it be nice if she got the fuck out of here.” She scoffs, Emily and Lindsey snorting from where they’re lounging on the couch at the end of the bed. 

“AMEN.” Emily raises her hands above her head and you snort.  

It was no secret to them that you still loved Tobin, the two of you’d broken up in all honesty because of the fan’s constant toxicity, it’s because of their toxicity that you went overseas to play for Arsenal, giving a heart broken Tobin the chance to meet Blaire in a coffee shop in Portland.  

“I wish we never would’ve broken up...” You rasp, with a frown, Ali cupping your cheek.  

“Maybe it had to happen?” She asks and you shrug, that is until Emily moves towards the bed.  

“So, you could find each other again.” She adds, gently taking your hand and you smile, grumbling.  

“I wish that didn’t include me nearly getting flattened.” You snort, the blonde giggling.  

Suddenly Tobin moves back into the room, brown orbs on you.  

“I thought I heard your laugh.” She smiles, cheeks flushing and you smile.  

“You know Sonny, getting me to laugh after I’ve nearly been flattened like a pancake...”  

Tobin shakes her head.  

“Please, don’t talk like that... I wouldn’t have...” Tobin shakes her head, looking down at you with a frown, unaware that Blaire is still in the hallway.  

“I wouldn’t have been able to take it.”  

Your eyes widen when Tobin’s hand rests on top of yours, much to your dismay your eyelids fluttering as you fight off sleep.  

“Sleep Y/N...” She whispers and you sigh, shaking your head, words slurring.  

“I want to look at you more...” You murmur, unaware of what exactly you’d just said.  

Tobin shakes her head, chuckling.  

“Sleep Y/N, I’ll be here when you wake up.”  

You mumble, your fingers tangling with Tobin’s as you fall fast asleep, the forward’s brown orbs on you the entire time.  

Tobin picks her head up, eyes widening when she sees Ali, Ashlyn, Emily and Lindsey all grinning her way.  

“What?”  

They all shake their heads.  

“Nothing.”  

“Not a thing.”  

                                                          ***

The next time you wake, you’re unfortunately alone, or so you think until you turn to the chair in the corner and spot a familiar pair of brown orbs.  

Brown orbs that belong to Blaire.  

“I was hoping you’d wake up soon, don’t really want to be here all day.”  

Your brows furrow, eyes narrowing.  

“If you don’t want to be here, why are you?” You rasp, the woman rolling her eyes.  

“We BOTH know why I’m here.” She scoffs as she walks to the bed. “Leave Tobin alone...”  

You chuckle.  

“It’s not like I’m pursuing her, she’s coming here...” You shift, letting out a groan. “What the hell do you expect me to do from a hospital bed?”  

Blaire glances away, growling.  

“I’m surprised Tobin even started dating you, probably didn’t show her your true colors until after she asked you to be her girlfriend, hmm?”  

Blaire’s nostrils flair.  

“No actually, it wasn’t until YOU came back to the United States. It wasn’t until you came back from overseas and ruined what we had-

“Excuse me, is everything okay in here?”  

Blaire turns around brows arched when she sees a nurse standing at the door, the woman, you’d guess, must have heard the woman’s raised voice.  

Suddenly, two people slip into the room, the two women smirking.  

“Oh no, everything is JUST fine.” Kelley smirks, Christen’s eyes narrowing as she sends daggers Blaire’s way.  

You don’t even try to bite back a smile when Alyssa, Ashlyn, Ali, Abby, Julie and Becky make their way into the room, every one of them glaring Blaire’s way.  

“Thank you though.” Ali gives the nurse a smile, the woman nodding before she takes her leave, the USWNT players file in, closing the door behind them and shutting the blinds that cover the windows looking into your room from the hallway.  

“Why the fuck are you even here?” Ali asks, everyone turning to her with wide eyes, before they snort, the loudest snort coming from Ashlyn.  

“To check on-

“Fucking shut up, you were not.” Julie snarls, nostrils flaring.  

“You were waiting until we all left, weren’t you?” Abby shakes her head.  

Blaire turns back towards the bed and you smirk, shrugging.  

“Sucks for you that they didn’t go overseas too.” You smirk, the woman scowling. 

Alyssa takes a step towards Blaire, towering over the woman.  

“Weren’t you just leaving?” She asks, glaring down at the woman who has the sense to look terrified, which she obviously is.  

“Yeah, she was.” Kelley takes a step towards her, standing beside Alyssa, Abby and the others quickly joining her.  

“I think I ALSO heard you say you weren’t coming back.” Becky adds, the woman giving Blaire her trademark look, the woman sending a glare over her shoulder before she practically runs out of the room.  

The women all glare at her back as she basically runs away, turning back to you when you let out a loud snort, whining loudly, grabbing your stitched stomach.  

“Oh my god, she was so scared.” You laugh, despite your pain, groaning loudly.  

Julie moves towards the bed, shaking her head as she holds your water allowing you to take a sip.  

“What did she say to you?” Christen asks, the muscle in her jaw jumping.

“You know, just the regular bitchy rhetoric.”

Kelley hums.  

“You mean like when Scooby Doo villains were caught?” She asks, Ashlyn shaking her fist at the sky.  

“I would’ve gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for you mangy kids.”  

Christen meanwhile is glaring back at the door.  

“What did she say Y/N?” She asks through gritted teeth and you sigh.  

“Told me I ruined her and Tobin by coming back to the sta-

“Okay. THAT’s it.” Christen goes to leave, screeching to a halt when she nearly bulldozes over Tobin, the woman’s eyes wide.  

“Whoa, is everything okay? Is Y/N okay?”  

Tobin doesn’t wait for an answer, instead slipping around Christen and rushing to your bedside, taking a deep breath when she sees you’re alright.  

“Thank God, you’re fine.”  

You smile softly, your eyes fluttering shut.  

“Even better now that you’re here.”  

Your cheeks flush, as do Tobin’s, the woman smiling as she takes your hand.  

“Well, I’m glad to be here.”  

The others watch the two of you with a grin, the mob of women all settling around the room, watching as you again fall asleep, your hand in Tobin’s.  

                                                          ***

Tobin frowns as you grimace, the doctor and nurses inspecting your stitched leg and torso.  

“Shhh, it’s okay.” Tobin whispers as you lean against her, your face buried in her chest as they clean and bandage your incision’s stitches.  

“Everything is looking good, you’re healing well, it’ll only be a matter of time before you’re out of here.” The doctor smiles and you sigh.  

“You guys are great and all, but I’d LOVE to go home.”  

The doctor smiles, as do the nurses.  

“Trust me, we understand Ms. Y/L/N, remember press the button if you need anything.”  

The doctor and nurses file out of the room, closing the door behind them. 

You turn to Tobin, smiling softly.  

“I’m so glad you’re getting better...” She whispers, resting her head on the bed beside you.  

You shift, gritting your teeth, Tobin frowning as she helps you lay back.  

“Easy, you need to sit still.”  

You blow a raspberry at her, the woman shaking her head.  

“You’re a literal child, aren’t you?”  

You shrug.  

“You love me.”  

The two of you stiffen, eyes wide. You turn away from Tobin and Tobin turns away from you, her cheeks dusted pink as you both bite back smiles.  

“Well, of course I do.” Tobin shrugs, turning back to you with a grin, your eyes widen as you grin back.  

Your leg involuntarily spasms and you whine, teeth clenched.  

Tobin frowns, heart aching at the fact she can’t take your pain away. She moves to her feet, drawing you attention away from your aching leg to her.  

“What’s wrong?” You ask, grimacing and Tobin motions towards the bed.  

“Scoot over.”  

Your brows knit in confusion but you still do your best to scoot over, Tobin’s hand on yours when you’ve given her enough room.  

“What are you...”  

You inhale sharply when Tobin slips out of her shoes and crawls into the bed beside you, your cheeks flushed and eyes wide.  

She wiggles around, sure to keep from bumping you as she gets into a comfortable position.  

“Ummmm...” Tobin blushes, opening her arms and you smile, eyes sparkling with adoration as you settle on her chest, the two of you sighing in content, the feel of being in one another’s arms again bringing you a sense of relief you hadn’t felt since the two of you had broken up.  

Tobin smiles lazily.  

“I’ve missed this...” She whispers, looking down at you through shining brown orbs. “I’ve missed you.”  

You look up at her through your eye lashes, giving the forward a massive grin.  

“I’ve missed you too.”  

                                                          ***

You’re not sure how much time has passed when you’re startled awake by a shove.  

“Fuck.” You wince, your pained cry immediately waking Tobin.  

“Are you alright?” She asks, brown orbs widening when she sees Blaire standing on your side of the bed.  

“Just waking her from her nap.”  

It’s then you see something snap inside of Tobin, a spark behind her brown orbs making your eyes widen.  

“I’ll be right back.” She whispers and you nod, grunting as Tobin slips from the bed, her absence making your heart ache.  

“O-Okay...” You stammer, the medication dripping through your IV making your eyelids flutter.  

Tobin shuts the door, her brown orbs no longer holding the warmth they had when looking at you.  

“You hurt her.” Tobin snarls, nostrils flaring, Blaire’s brown orbs narrowing.  

“I don’t care what I-

“Go back to Portland.” Tobin says coldly, hands balling into fists.  

“You and I, are done.” She snarls, turning towards the door back to your room.  

“Are you fucking kidding me you’re gonna dump me for-

“Excuse me, is there a problem here?”  

Tobin turns to a nearby nurse, nodding.  

“If you could keep her from coming back into the room, I’d REALLY appreciate it, she keeps disrupting Y/N’s sleep.” Tobin sends Blaire a smirk.  

“You and I are done, don’t call me and do NOT come back here, leave me, my team AND Y/N, ALONE.” Tobin states fiercely before making her way back into the room, shutting the door behind her.  

Tobin watches with a smile as your eyelids flutter back open, a pout on your face.  

“Can’t sleep without you...” You mumble, Tobin smiling as she gingerly slips back into bed beside you.  

“Well, I’m not going anywhere again.” She whispers, grinning as you bury your face in her chest.  

“Promise?” You yawn, taking a deep breath, falling asleep in seconds.  

“I promise.”  

                                                          ***

You’re the first to wake hours later, the steady rise and fall of Tobin’s chest, and the pitter patter of her heart beneath your ear makes you grin.  

You hum, nuzzling into her chest, the woman’s hold on you tightening.  

“Are you awake?” Tobin asks, voice rough from sleep and you yawn.  

“Yeah.”  

Tobin goes silent and you glance up, brows furrowed.  

“What’s-

Your eyes widen when Tobin leans in, her lips pressing ever so gently against yours. She inhales sharply, pulling back, her brown orbs wide.  

“I’m so sorry, I-

This time, you’re the one closing the gap between the two of you, your lips meeting Tobin’s for the second time in nearly a year. Her lips move against yours in a way that makes you melt, like her kisses always had.  

The two of you part, eyes fluttering open at roughly the same time, a glassy sheen to Tobin’s brown orbs and your Y/E/C’s.  

Tobin gently cups your cheek, her thumb running along a healing scratch on your cheek.  

“I’m sorry Y/N... I’m sorry I let you go the first time...” She whispers, leaning in to rest her forehead against yours.  

“And I’m sorry for letting go...” You place your bruise covered hand over Tobin’s that’s resting on your cheek.  

“I never stopped loving you.” You confess, turning your head and pressing a kiss to the center of her palm.  

Tobin sniffles, tears leaking from her brown orbs and streaming down her cheeks.  

“And I never stopped loving you.”  

Tobin leans in again but this time you abruptly lean back, the corner of the woman’s lips drooping in a frown.  

“What about Blaire?” You ask, eyes narrowed and Tobin grins.  

“She’s gone... After what she did earlier I just...” She shakes her head. “I’m done with her.”  

Your tongue swipes at your lips, your eyes darting around her face.  

“Do you...” You bite your bottom lip, taking a deep breath. “Do you want to try again...?” You ask, unable to look her in the eye and Tobin grins, cupping your cheeks with both hands.  

“If you do, then I want to.” She grins, your smile stretching into a massive grin.  

“Of course, I want to.”  

The two of you lean in at roughly the same time, closing the gap between you, your lips meeting again, the kiss a promise that you’d give it your all to stay together, no matter what the fans or others said.  

And that promise lead to a life of complete and utter happiness between the two of you, the two of you promising to spend your life together in an entirely different setting...

Though this time it wasn’t at a hospital bed, it was at the altar.  

#uswnt x reader #uswnt imagine #tobin heath x reader #tobin heath imagine #tobin heath

[johannesviii]

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2020

You know, when I finished my latest list and realised every decade had the same pattern and that we were slowly going towards a series of great years for pop, I didn’t realise how good that year would be.

What’s at the top? Am I boringly predictable because I already said I loved that song all the way back in January 2020? Let’s find out.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will probably be stuff in French somewhere on this post. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

So. Uh. How was your 2020?

Mine was actually surprisingly good, considering. I’m lucky enough to have a job that I can partially do from home, and I was extremely paranoid from the get-go and nobody got sick under this roof so far. Turns out I’m even better at my job from home and I got permission to work from home one day per week even after the health crisis is over! My first name was also finally officially approved and I can’t tell you how happy I feel about that. I almost feel bad to have had such a good year considering the circumstances. I feel like an asshole just because I’m happy, haha.

The only frustrating part was that I was supposed to see Hatari in concert in Paris in early April which, as you can guess, was cancelled. I’m not too mad about it though, since their tour was called “Europe will crumble” and the message saying the tour was cancelled started with “since Europe is actually crumbling due to Covid-19″ and that’s hysterical.

Good or interesting albums that came out in 2020 now, let’s see.

Nightwish released Human/Nature, which was a huge letdown compared to their previous album, but I will relisten to it at some point to make sure I wasn’t just in a bad mood that day.

The Birthday Massacre released Diamonds, which might be their weakest album since their debut, but contained some real gems (I listened to The Last Goodbye on a loop, it floored me. Flashback and Enter are also very good).

The 1975 released Notes On A Conditional Form, and let’s be real, it’s a f█cking mess. You could cut half the tracks and end up with an excellent album, but as it is it’s like, yes, a collection of notes ; however there’s some truely excellent shit on it (see unelligible songs).

Thanks to a friend on a discord server I was exposed to Dorian Electra’s music and I haven’t been quite the same ever since. I’m so happy to be alive to see other enbies making such great music with an insanely good aesthetic surrounding it and asking so many interesting questions about gender. Also the arc the ‘gentleman’ character goes through over the course of the entire tracklist of the 2020 My Agenda album is absolutely hilarious, don’t @ me.

I also discovered 100 Gecs this year. Why are most of you guys saying it’s unlistenable garbage. It’s just as abrasive and over the top as industrial music is, but with none of the edginess or drama. I love it. What the hell. But yeah Tree of Clues was released this year. Good.

Speaking of industrial, in March 2020 Nine Inch Nails were like “hey remember when we released Ghosts I-IV a decade ago entirely for free and how amazing that was? Well we’re all in lockdown and bored as hell so here’s Ghosts V-VI and it’s also free. Enjoy” and I f█cking died instantly. And it’s even better than I-IV. What the hell was that year

Jonsi released Shiver. It’s strange and highly experimental. I’m pretty sure it’s a good thing I was into hyperpop this year, otherwise going from his previous material straight to this album would have been brutal.

Yadda yadda yadda After Hours by the Weeknd good yadda yadda.

I’ve joked about that already but if you had told me in 2019 that 2020 would have fires, a pandemic, riots, monoliths appearing and disappearing, and also a super good Machine Gun Kelly album, guess which part I would have found the most ridiculous. But yeah uh. Tickets to my Downfall good

So uh this year I tried to listen to some hyperpop and liked it a lot, and I also dipped my toes timidly into screamo and listened to Svalbard, who released When I Die this year, and the entire album was a very beautiful, very intricately decorated punch to the face. It sounds like God Is An Astronaut except with a shit ton of yelling. I love it. Open Wound is my favorite track on it.

But no, despite all of this, my album of the year was from a band I had never even heard about before that year, called Spanish Love Songs. The album is titled Brave Faces Everyone and it’s line after line after line of extremely relatable generational angst but yelled with complete sincerity and it’s so propulsive and energetic you can’t help but feel both exhausted and ready to fight the entire universe. I don’t know how it works, but it’s incredible. The entire album is wonderfully brutal, so it’s kind of difficult to pick my favorite songs on it, but Beachfront Property and the title track stand out.

Unelligible songs, now, and there’s, uh, quite a few of them too so I’m also gonna use bullet points. Good lord this post is gonna be long.

First, let me say I have literally no idea why Midnight Sky by Miley Cyrus wasn’t a bigger hit. It’s not on the year-end US top 100 and it feels extremely wrong. Would have made it to #4 on this list otherwise.

I still entertain the vague hope that stuff from Machine Gun Kelly will chart higher in 2021 but I doubt it will happen so I might as well tackle it now and say that Bloody Valentine and especially Forget Me Too are both excellent and that it’s a shame radios aren’t playing them more often.

Heaven by the late Avicii featuring Coldplay should have charted in 2019 and still didn’t chart in 2020 and that’s a real shame.

If the world was a bit less unfair, Lovesick Girls by Blackpink would have been a hit rather than the awful Ice Cream.

One day I will stop complaining about my bafflement concerning the lack of mainstream pop charts success of The 1975. Today is not that day. I just love how they keep making songs about extremely awkward relationships full of weird details, and I haven’t grown tired of that yet. So yeah If You’re Too Shy is about a guy who’s crush is asking him to get naked on Skype in his hotel room and he’s, uh, not too sure about that idea.

And Me & You Together is about a guy who never finds the right moment to tell his best friend he’s in love with her, and he manages to do so at the end and it’s cute as hell. My fave part is “I'm sorry that I'm kinda queer / It's not as weird as it appears / It's 'cause my body doesn't stop me (Stop me) / Oh, it's okay, lots of people think I'm gay / But we're friends, so it's cool, why would it not be?”. Relatable as f█ck.

And now for an international hit that should have been bigger in the US and/or in my country but wasn’t: Head & Heart by Joel Corry and MNEK.

I’ve heard Nos Célébrations by Indochine extremely often on French radio for months now so I was very surprised to see that it didn’t crack the local year-end list. What happened.

I can finally hear the appeal of Bring Me The Horizon. It took me ages. And also Death Stranding. The song Ludens isn’t in the game per say, but it’s among the ones you can pick to broadcast briefly when people drive by your constructions, and long story short it's been living rent-free in my head for months now.

Phew.

It’s time for a round of Honorable Mentions for elligible songs, containing a couple of guilty pleasures, which is saying something considering the kind of shit I put on some of my previous lists.

Ne Reviens Pas (Gradur et Heuss l’Enfoiré) - Heuss is a French artist that kept baffling me while making my lists for the previous years, and I was like “??? ok, that’s it then, I guess I’m getting too old to get what teenagers find funny”. This one worked for me, though. And the music video doesn’t hurt. Really dumb and really fun.

Adore You (Harry Styles) - Perfectly good little pop song, very pleasant to listen to, never outstayed its welcome for me.

Mood (24kGoldn) - This doesn’t sound like a very good relationship, my dude, but that’s still a super pleasant song.

WAP (Cardi B & Megan Thee Stallion) - This song is absolutely hilarious and I will hear no argument from any of you.

Control (Zoe Wees) - Was clearly a hit here. Should have been even bigger though. What a powerful but comfy voice. If I had better taste it would be on the list.

Hot Girl Bummer (Blackbear) - I. Uh. Listen. I keep saying I have bad taste and nobody believes me. Do you believe me now. But yeah. “F█ck you, and you, and you~, I hate your friends and they hate me too” is gonna pop in my head every single time someone is being a jerk anywhere near me now. It’s been happening all year already. Someone trashed my documents at work? Someone isn’t wearing a mask in public? That guy has filled his car with rolls of toilet paper? Brain goes “F█ck you, and you, and you~”. Every. Single. Time.

Come & Go (Juice WRLD & Marshmello ) - Damn, that’s a pretty good little song. I’ve seen plenty of people saying it’s ruined by the drop, but may I remind you I’m the person who loves Blue by Eiffel 65 with all my heart. If the song was ramping up consistently until the end instead of ending like that, it would have made the list, definitely.

And now, the actual list. This one actually feels pretty solid, I genuinely like everything on it, there’s no filler here for once.

10 - The Box (Roddy Rich)

US: #3 / FR: #23

Now this is a weird case, because for the longest time I couldn’t figure out why this song was so popular and I was completely neutral about it. Then, one morning in September, my mental jukebox (which always, always puts a song on a loop in my head when I wake up) decided to play it. And I was like oh wow?? I never noticed the atmosphere in that song before? It’s so great. And that hook too. Let’s listen to it.

So yeah, I don’t know what happened. It just clicked one day and everything fell into place, I guess.

9 - Alane (Wes & Robin Shulz)

US: Not on the list / FR: #93

Come on. You can’t do a remake of one of my previous #1 songs and let it chart in 2020. That’s cheating. Even with this subpar drop, I have to put it on the list, now.

I’ve already said my piece about the original, so I’m just going to send you back to my 1997 list.

8 - Kings and Queens (Ava Max)

US: Not on the list / FR: #76

[BBC documentary voice] After Lady Gaga decided to make piano balads and left her musical niche vacant, Ava Max quickly took her place as the top predator pop diva. Even after Lady Gaga was re-introduced to her natural habitat in 2020, she still hasn’t fully recovered in Europe, where Ava Max still reigns supreme on the charts -

(tldr I think it’s hilarious that this isn’t on the US Billboard while Lady Gaga isn’t on the French year-end top 100)

7 - Roses (Saint Jhn & Imanbek)

US: #19 / FR: #3

What an earworm. It doesn’t even bother trying to have an intro or an outro, so it loops almost perfectly. It’s like entering a party that started long before you arrived, and it will go on long after you leave it to go back home. Kind of hypnotic in a way.

And yes, my mental jukebox was very fond of using it to wake me up this year, so this is another song that’s here almost solely because of that.

6 - Physical (Dua Lipa)

US: Not on the list / FR: #69 (hehehe)

“Hey I’m not that old” says the guy who’s definitely a sucker for this kind of retro throwback that was so popular this year. Oh well.

I don’t have anything interesting to say about this one, though. Apart from the fact that everyone seems to have a different fave song on that album. Guess that’s quality for you.

5 - Rain on Me (Lady Gaga & Ariana Grande)

US: #48 / FR: Not on the list

That is far from being Lady Gaga’s best song, but it was a joy to listen to everytime it was on the radio anyway. Also Ariana Grande has surprisingly good chemistry with Gaga! This year was full of strange duets mostly made for commercial reasons, and this one isn’t an exception, but unlike a lot of them, it really, really works.

4 - Dynamite (BTS)

US: #38 / FR: Not on the list

I’m still not 100% sold on k-pop even if a ton of it sounds super good, but come on. Even if some bits of this song (especially the beginning of the second chorus) sound a bit like they were made on autopilot, it still sounds just as happy and fun several months after I first heard it and I never got tired of it. That’s quality. You hear it and you can’t help but tap your feet and smile.

Actually, I’m sure there’s people somewhere that don’t smile when they hear this song. And they must be avoided at all costs.

3 - Godzilla (Eminem ft Juice WRLD)

US: #62 / FR: Not on the list

What are you doing so high on this list, old man. Why are you still here in the year 2020. I thought we left you in the previous decade. Who gave you the right.

I’m gonna tell you who did, and it’s actually Juice WRLD. Because that chorus is incredible, and like a lot of people I’m pissed off because the guy died super young and this shit shouldn’t happen to anybody. No, his early material wasn’t great, but I’m sorry I’m gonna say it again: have you heard this damn chorus? It’s suspenseful and dark, it’s got this lowkey menacing quality, it’s an earworm and a half, and it’s more convincing in like six lines than Eminem’s own flexing is in the entire song.

The beat is extremely good as well, and the flow, obviously, impressive. The weakest link is Eminem’s writing, which is as usual full of puns and weird wordplay, except here a lot of it isn’t great, and that last ultra fast part at the end is technically impressive but it also drives the song up a cliff and stops it dead in its tracks once it’s over. But frankly the lines fly by so fast it’s difficult to be too annoyed by them.

Can I sincerely put this extremely flawed song so high on my list? A better question would be “did I spend hours trying to learn how to sing this shit without choking on my own spit?”. The answer is yes. To both.

2 - Heartless (The Weeknd)

US: #28 / FR: Not on the list

I’ve said it on my 2015 and 2016 lists already, but just for the record I’ll say it again: it took me ages to like The Weeknd, mostly because I found most of his songs fairly boring, or disliked the lyrics, or both. Also I never really liked the general vibe of his “sexy” songs like The Hills, they felt dark but in an unpleasant creepy way. Felt like miserable hedonism, if that makes sense.

So, because I’m a person with extremely consistent and logical tastes, here’s the exact same shit he was making before, except that this time I absolutely adore it.

What is he doing differently that makes the whole After Hours album click for me whereas almost all of his previous material failed to do so? Is it the energy? Is it the reverb? Is it the fact that the narrator sounds properly unhinged and, frankly, scared to be spiralling out of control? Why are the colors so beautiful yet full of anxiety? Why is that bridge so fantastic? How can you make your voice look like a glowstick in the dark?

I give up. I have no clue. At least I’m done talking about-

Oh.

1 - Blinding Lights (The Weeknd)

US: #1 / FR: #1 (listen sometimes something’s just that good, ok)

Surprise. Or not.

Wow, look at that, Johannes has put this year’s number one pop song at number one on their personal playlist. The audacity. The edge. What a hot take.

I discovered that song when it first came out at the end of 2019 and I adored it instantly. And I was so scared it wouldn’t be a hit. Which means I’m a f█cking dumbass considering it ended up breaking all sorts of records in 2020. But what can I say, overplay can be a blessing when you love a song that much.

Like every single song I put at number one on one of my lists, I will draw this one at some point and you will understand how incredibly satisfying it is to listen to a song called Blinding Lights, talking about city lights looking blurry when you’re driving at night, while looking itself like a bunch of blurry city lights passing by super fast. Perfect in every way.

Also it sounds exactly like A-ha, and that never hurts.

See you next year! Pretty sure it will be even better music-wise.

#Johannes’ bad not good pretty terrible music lists #music #long post #eye contact tw

[heathered-beinn]

BangtanTV Youtube Vids 4

130217 SUGA (feat.RAP MONSTER) - YouTube Suga’s Log 17/02/13 (UK date)

So this is Suga’s first log! I love that fluffy black hat he’s wearing!! Obviously the heating is still not great in the studio since he’s also bundled up in a thick jacket ☹ I don’t have much else to muse about for this this video as it’s pretty short and not much happens or is talked about. It’s mostly Suga trying to make a log but laughing and complaining at Rapmonster constantly distracting him in the background. They obviously get on well both as colleagues and friends and it’s nice to see the two of them messing around having fun. So far they have tended to be the quieter, more serious, members of the band so I love seeing them act in a silly manner. I also look forward to hearing more from Suga in the future when RM isn’t distracting him!

흔한 연습생의 Harlem shake.avi - YouTube흔한 연습생의 Harlem shake.avi - YouTube

WTF did I just watch lol?????

The first time we see so many of them together on their official YT channel and it’s 20 seconds of chaotic WTF are you doing ridiculousness. Six of them – not sure who is who except RM and probably Jimin doing the headstand on the couch and maybe Jungkook in red – doing random things to the beat of Harlem Shake. Okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkay Moving on ROFL

 130206 RAP MONSTER FREESTYLE - YouTube Rap Monster Freestyling

No picture just RM rapping. Thanks to Megan R (credit Genius) in the Youtube comments for the translation.

Reading through the translation it seems RM is back on the path of feeling lost “a deserted island among my friends” - only it seems worse this time. He talks about being an adult now but all of his music peers have found success but he hasn’t yet. He doesn’t feel like there is a path for him, that he is stuck, and there’s no fuel to move him forward. His friends are suggesting he goes to college instead but RM doesn’t want to give up on his dream. My heart goes out to him. It really does. What he wants seems to be insurmountably far away to him (although it actually isn’t really – hindsight really) and I want to say I am so proud and very impressed that he got through that hard time to become the star he is today.

 방탄소년들의 졸업 - Making Film - YouTube Behind the scenes of J-Hope, Jimin and Jungkook’s Music Video

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww <3 <3 <3

This was so cute. A short compilation of clips of them messing around, dancing, laughing, and running about, having fun together behind the scenes of their little music video (This was in the last lot of BTV videos I watched). Can I just say wow at Jimin’s running cartwheel!! Lol, at least Jungkook tried. However, Jungkook’s basketball shot was also pretty impressive too!

The three of them seemed to get on well. There is definitely a tight little friendship developing between them – particularly between Jimin and Jungkook. I noticed in the scene where they are in the café and crowded around the laptop that Jungkook was comfortable getting so close to Jimin he was millimetres from resting his chin on his shoulder. It was cute and only of note because he seemed such a shy boy in other series and appeared a bit uncomfortable with being overly touchy-feely (like a typical teenager). It makes me wonder if his discomfort was more rooted in doing those softer kinds of things in front of the camera rather than doing them fullstop. This is another reason I am so keen to watch these videos – we are more likely to see who they really are and what they are like in real life when there is less editing and scripting involved. Even these more candid videos will never be true reflections either unless it’s a moment where they genuinely don’t realise they are getting filmed. I do wonder how Jimin and Jungkook’s friendship pans out over the years though. There wasn’t much in Carpool Karaoke to make a judgement but I remember it was Jimin, J-Hope, and Jungkook in the middle seats which suggests to me they remain fairly close.

My finale musing on this video is, yet again, another moment of marvelling how this little cutie grew into this beautiful man.

 130228 RAP MONSTER - YouTube Rap Monster 28/02/13 (UK date)

There is no translation for this video but I think, I think, he is just rapping along to a famous rap song? Either way, it’s cute lol and he seems to be enjoying himself.

Can I take a moment to point out that we have not seen one glimpse of V in these videos so far!! ☹

 130227 J HOPE & 정국 - YouTube J Hope and Jungkook 27/02/13 (UK date)

Cuties!! <3

As soon as I saw these two I was ridiculously excited. I feel like this, so far to me, is an odd pairing and I can’t wait to see what they are like together :D Thanks to Hopeful Mang in the Youtube comments for the translation.

Okay, now that I’ve seen the video and read a vague translation I can’t help but laugh on rewatching. There doesn’t seem to be anything of note in what they say, however their antics were hilarious and silly and I’m still not entirely sure I understand what they were on about lol. What I most noticed was just how confident and talkative and generally at ease Jungkook was with J-Hope, like just J-Hope’s presence was enough to push back Jungkook’s shyness. It was so lovely to see! It’s clear the two of them get on well and spend quite a bit of time together. There was definitely a big brother / little brother vibe going on and I wouldn’t be surprised to learn if J-Hope was one of the ones who looked out for Jungkook the most back then – and brought him out of his shell. I mean, J-Hope is just a ball of sunshine – who wouldn’t be buoyed up in his presence?!

130304 J HOPE & RAP MONSTER - YouTube J-Hope and RM

Another pairing I’m so excited to see together! Thanks to Hopeful Mang in the Youtube comments for the translation.

J-Hope starts off by commenting the colour scheme is black and white. RM says this is coincidental but emphasises that the band is one that works well together without having to say a word. J-Hope agrees they are an awesome team. So… this is the first time in these BTV vids that I’ve seen RM talking about the band being a team and talking to another member as a teammate, which is an interesting and positive change to behold. Only a month ago (4 videos up) RM was talking as though he had no path and was somewhat lost in what he was doing with his life. This ‘team talk’ is a significant change in direction. How deep RM is in this change remains to be seen but it’s good to see him interacting with the others in a band-like way. I’m wondering if there has been significant movement in forming the band behind the scenes since the start of February. There were barely any logs between this one and RM’s one where he was describing himself as a deserted island so it’s possible their time has been spent working on the band – which, if the case, brilliant!

Lol, RM asked J-Hope what he had done that day. J-Hope said he’d been relaxing and watching a movie and could not be more vague about said movie – he really gave it a stellar review lol. RM said he had been around Seoul looking for music inspiration but ended up resting instead and being distracted by pretty girls. J-Hope says this is pretty typical of RM, suggesting he knows him and his habits fairly well by now.

Then it gets super interesting as they say their schedule for the week ahead is packed because BTS debut day is approaching. I wonder if that’s what’s got RM suddenly talking about teamwork? Perhaps now that things are gearing up for a debut he’s feeling like he finally has a focus – a path. The question is, does he still, deep down. think about himself as a soloist or is he now becoming accustomed to the idea that his future lies in a band? Does he truly think the band will work out? It’ll certainly be very interesting to see how this plays out over the following weeks.

Final musings on this video: RM and J-Hope seem comfortable with each other but not super-comfortable with each other. There’s not the same silliness between them as there was between RM and Suga or J-Hope and Jungkook, which suggests to me that at this point they have a friendly colleague-type relationship but are not yet super-close.

 130304 SUGA - YouTube Suga’s Log 04/03/13 (UK date)

Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuga!!!!!!!!!! <3 Thanks to Nana Na in the Youtube comments for the translation.

ROFL!!! Suga starts by saying that because RM isn’t there the log is going to be easy. Funny enough, both RM and J-Hope did a log on the same day in the same studio?! It’s probably much later in the day. Suga tells us that the song playing the background is “Fly” by Epic High, which he says guided him into the world of hip hop. He says this song made RM and himself choose to rap and further explains that in 2006, while in elementary school, it was this song that made him decide he wanted to rap. This small titbit gives us such a little insight into how Suga got into rapping and just how long he’s wanted to be a rap star for. The fact that he knew so early on what he wanted to be and is still working hard to make that dream come true shows just how dedicated he is and just how well he knows himself. He finishes his log by saying when he’s tired and exhausted, like he is today in the video, he listens to this song “Fly” and it inspires him to make good music.

 130309 SUGA - YouTube Suga’s Log 09/03/13 (UK date)

Takes place 4 – 5 days after his last log – same hat! Thanks to Hopeful Mang in the Youtube comments for the translation.

It’s Suga’s birthday!!! <3 He says he used to anticipate his birthday when he was younger but not anymore now that he is older.

Then J-Hope, Jimin and RM come into the studio singing happy birthday and carrying a cake. Suga says it’s too cliché but seems pretty pleased by the gesture. He blows out the candles, J-Hope punches his arm a few times, which Jimin then wants to do but can’t because he’s holding the cake. Suga tells J-Hope to quit with the punching. RM says to turn up the music and Suga ends the log.

It’s sweet to see them celebrating each other’s birthdays. I hope as the years go on we get to see them do this for every member! I wonder if they buy each other presents – with 7 in the band that could get complicated and expensive lol.

Anyway, Happy Birthday Suga, sweetheart <3 Sorry for being belated by 8 years!!!

 130306 정국 - YouTube Jungkook’s Log 06/03/13 (UK date)

This seems to be a few days out of sync with the video for Suga’s birthday but it’s no big issue. Thanks to nana na in the Youtube comments for the translation.

Jungkook is almost painfully cute at this age. He starts by saying he still feels shy shooting a log alone and is not sure what to talk about <3 He says the background music is what he has recently been learning choreography to and finds the dance moves funny and exciting. He also says he is really tired and sleepy but he still has things to do and will go to bed after finishing them because he promised. This concerns me a little. There’s nothing to indicate the time but it does look like it might be pretty late in the day. He’s still young, still at school (presumably a school night since 06/03/13 UK date was a Wednesday) and he’s also working on band things. The fact that he said he promised to go to bed to someone means that someone else – much closer to him than the fans - thinks he has been working too much and not getting enough rest ☹

 130308 J HOPE - YouTube J-Hope’s Log 08/03/13 (UK Date)

Thanks to Hopeful Many in the Youtube comments for the translation.

J-Hope says he walked in as Suga was going to record a log (he calls him by his real name Yoongi, and I forgot that even back then they were probably pretty new to their stage names and probably don’t call each other by their stage names behind the scenes). Suga is quietly sitting up the back. J-Hope says he wasn’t planning on playing any background music but he liked the MR so he let it play – it reminds him of cherry blossoms and first love. He says he thinks he should work on a song like that. However, he is extremely busy as reality is approaching. [I guess he means the band’s debut]. He admits he has been sleeping less and working hard and hopes the results will reflect how much work he is putting in right now. He finishes the log by saying they should all go to the cherry blossom festival, in which Suga agrees. I find it simply beautiful that BTS have grown up in a culture where their masculinity is not questioned because they want to see some pretty flowers.

Not much more for me to muse on other than I like J-Hope’s top <3

#bts #bangtantv #youtubeofficial #jin #suga #j-hope #rapmonster #jimin #v #jungkook

[rocksandrobots]

Of Rocks and Robots Ch.22 - Presents and Portals (Part 1)

“Hey, Miss Itamae, I hope you’re having a nice day. You, wouldn’t happen to have anything special today for someone's birthday, would ya?” Hiro asked the grumpy lunch lady before him with a nervous smile.

Miss Itamae only gave him her customary scowl and unceremoniously dumped a scoop of mash potatoes on top of his steak and gravy.

“Yeah...okay then.” He said wearily and moved out the line.

Varian slid into his previously held spot in line.

“Heeelllooo, Miss Itamae, looking lovely as ever! Did you do something with your hair? New hair net perhaps?” Varian flashed the woman his most charming grin but Miss Itamae looked as unamused as ever. Still Hiro had to admit Varian was far more confident in his attempts to butter up the lunch lady; maintaining his witty and suave demeanor even as she dumped his scoop of mash potatoes into his chocolate pudding. “Superb aim, as always.” He said with cheery sarcasm, before turning away.

“Let’s face it. She hates us.” Hiro whispered to him as they both walked away from the line.

“I think she hates everybody.” Varian observed.

“Then why bother with being so nice?” Karmi asked as they joined her at the lunch table.

“Oh, cause it annoys her.” Varian chirped.  

“Yeah, we’re trying to kill her kindness.” Hiro added.

‘Ooookaay.” Karmi rolled her eyes and then opted to change the subject. “Sooo, birthday boy, how's it feel to be fifteen?”

“Uh, not that much different from being fourteen, honestly.” replied Hiro, as he poked at his unappetising lunch.

“Got any celebration plans?”

“Well, Aunt Cass is holding a birthday party later today at the Luck Cat, if you wanna come.”

“I’d love to. What time?”

“It’s at six. It’s nothing special, just a dinner and some cake.”

“And I’m making the cake.” Varian excitedly added.

“And if it’s anything like his fish pie, you’ll want to skip dessert.” Hiro warned Karmi.

Varian looked offended. “Hey! I can bake a cake. Besides it can’t be any worse than these chocolate covered potatoes.” He gave a rueful look at his plate before taking a bite of the nasty connection anyways.

“Then why are you still eating it?”

“What!? And waste food?” He asked aghast.

Hiro rolled his eyes, “Anyways, how did your essay go, Karmi?”

“Great! I got an A, as usual, but I have to admit writing about bacteria’s evolving resistance to antibiotics isn’t nearly as fun as writing fan fiction.”

“What’s fan fiction?” Varian innocently asked.

Karmi’s eyes went wide with excitement and Hiro felt his heart stop as he knew what was coming next.

“Only the greatest thing ever! It’s when people write stories based on stuff they like, like books, or movies. I have this whole ongoing story about Big Hero Six that I’ve been working on!” She pulled out her phone and pulled up said story before handing it to Varian.

Hiro suppressed a groan. “Karmi, did it ever occur to you that maybe real life people wouldn’t appreciate you writing fiction about them?”

Karmi huffed, “Shows what you know. Captain Cutie himself said he liked my work.”

“Captain Cutie?” Varian asked, confused.

“He’s the leader of Big Hero Six, and he’s just the dreamiest.” Karmi explained with a wistful sigh.

Hiro felt like he was going to die of embarrassment.

Varian looked back and forth between Karmi and Hiro in surprise as he pieced together what was happening. Finally he burst out laughing.

“Cap..Captain, Cuuutieee!?” He wheezed, before balling up into more laughter.

Now it was Karmi’s turn to look offended. “You got a problem with that?”

“Nooo! Oh, no, no, N….not at all!” Varian tried to assure her between his fits of laughter. Once he had managed to compose himself, he looked her dead in the eye and said with the most sincere voice he could muster, “Captain Cutie, is the perfect name.”

He followed this up with a smarmy smile that told Hiro that he would never hear the end of this.

“Well, it should be, I came up with.” Karmi held her head up high to mask that her pride had been hurt.

“And it’s amazing !” Varian enthused. “If your story is half as awesome as that name, I’ll bet it’ll be even better than a Flynn Rider book!”

That was enough to placate her. In fact she outright blushed, knowing full well how much Varian loved Flynn Rider novels; though she herself had never read one.

“I promise to read every word.” Varian vowed.

“Weeell, in that case I’ll text you the link.” She took her phone back from Varian and stood up from the table. “It’ll be more than what Hiro does.”

“Hey, I’ve read all your stories.” Hiro defended himself. Karmi looked at him accusingly and he buckled under her glare. “I just... didn’t like them.” He admitted sheepishly.

And with that, Karmi turned her nose up into the air and stormed off in a huff. Hiro slumped down in his seat.

“Smooth move, Captain Cutie.” Varian teased.

Hiro kicked him the shin.

                                               ----------------------------

Hiro scrounged underneath the bed, reaching his arm out as far as it would go, but his hand grabbed hold of nothing but air.

"I did not find anything in the sock drawer" he heard a robotic voice proclaim above the bed.

"That's ok.. ouch… Baymax." Hiro crawled out from under the bed and rubbed the spot where he had bumped his head against the frame. He looked up to find Varian standing in the doorway watching him.

"What are you doing?" The other boy asked with a look of concern on his face.

Hiro was sitting in the middle of what was once Tadashi's side of the room. No one had bothered to touch his brother's things since his death, other than to occasionally dust or tidy up, so seeing both him and Baymax raiding the place was unusual.

"Uhmmm… just...looking for something."

Varian raised an eyebrow.

Hiro sighed.

"You'll think this silly, but, I was hunting for my birthday present."

Hiro searched Varian's face to see what his reaction would be. He blinked a few times in surprise, but other than that, the older teen was careful not to say or do anything that might upset Hiro. Instead he stood by patiently, letting Hiro have the space he needed to explain things on his own terms.

"Tadashi always liked to plan ahead for things. He'd gift stuff in advance and then hide it somewhere around the house until time to give it. I found one at Christmas, that he'd wrapped a year ahead of time, but, I don't know, I guess he didn't think that far ahead for my birthday."

Hiro looked forlornly around the room. He felt stupid now for having even bothered to look and self-conscious at having dredged back up bad memories on what suppose to be a fun day.

"Well, maybe he just hid it somewhere else." Varian reassured him. "Did you try the attic or the garage?"

Hiro shook his head.

"There, ya see? This a three story house and you haven't even searched a tenth of it. Once the party is over with I'll help you look. Okay?"

He offered Hiro a helpful smile and Hiro returned it.

"Okay."

"Speaking of which," Varian continued, "Megan called and said she's on her way and everyone else should be here soon. Aunt Cass sent me up here to get you. Also the cake's done." He flashed a proud grin at that last part.

"And what weird flavour did we come up with this time?" Hiro teased as got up to join Varian at the door. "Black pepper? Bacon? Licorice, again?"

Varian gave him an unamused look.

"It's vanilla with vanilla frosting, wise guy. Also I made sure to write in big bold letters 'Happy Birthday, Captain Cutie' on the top." He sneered.

Hiro rolled his eyes, not believing Varian's bluff, only to second guess himself as Varian gave a smug smile as he walked off.

"You..you didn't, did you?"

Varian didn't answer.

"Seriously, tell me you didn't." Hiro yelled after him as he rushed down the stairs.

Baymax was left standing in the bedroom as he watched the two teens leave. He looked around at the mess, unsure if to follow or to stay and clean up. If robots could sigh in frustration he would have just then. Eventually his primary programming overrode his cleaning operatives and he slowly hobbled after the boys.

                                              ----------------------------

Ding-dong

“I’ll get it!” Hiro yelled as he rushed to the door to answer it.

So far the only people to arrive at the party were Wasabi and Megan. They, along with Varian, were in the kitchen decorating the cake, which thankfully had no ‘Captain Cutie’ written on the front, while Aunt Cass busied herself with shutting down the cafe for the evening.

Hiro opened the door to find Karmi standing there, holding a present in her hands and shuffling her feet like she was unsure of what to do. Hiro stared at her in surprise, first, because he didn’t know if she would show up after getting mad at him during lunch and second, because she wasn’t wearing her usual sweater. Instead she wore a cute summer dress. It was purple with spaghetti straps and a flared skirt that cut off right above her knees. Hiro couldn’t help but feel his cheeks flush at the sight.

Damn it, why did she have to look so pretty? Why did he even care what she wore to begin with? What was his stupid body doing?

She gave him a nervous smile and held out her present to him. He took it numbly, eyes still fixed on her.

“I’m sorry for getting mad earlier today.” She said sheepishly. “I hope I’m not late.” After a slight pause she added, “You know, for the party.”

“Oh! Oh no. Not at all.” Hiro responded, finally snapping out of his stupor. “In fact you’re early. The party got pushed back to 6:30. Fred’s running late with the balloons. But there’s some of us already here, come on in.”

“Thanks.” She said with another small smile as she slid past him.

“Everybody is in the kitchen decorating the cake.” He pointed her down the hallway to the upstairs kitchen and was going to show her where to go when his phone rang.

“Hello.”

It was Keri.

“What do you mean stolen?” Hiro asked with concern as Keri blabbered on about missing project files.

Karmi paused and looked back at him questiongly.

“Look, do I have to come in now?” He tore the phone away from his ear as Keri started ranting instead.

“Okay, okay, I’ll be there soon.” He hung up.  

“What’s wrong?” She asked.

“Uh...looks like I need to go into the office today, just for a bit.”

“But what about your party?”

“Oh, it shouldn’t take long.” Hiro looked at his watch. “Thirty minutes, tops.”

“Hey, Wasabi?!” He yelled and his friend poked his head around the corner. “Do you mind giving me a lift to Keri Tech?”

                                              ----------------------------

“Wow. So she was behind you the whole time?”

Hiro looked at the surveillance footage of the theft. A woman with short white hair, dressed in a red and black leotard with her face covered in matching makeup, flipped silently behind Krei, downloaded files to a flash drive off his computer, and then cartwheeled away unnoticed.

“Can we have a little less mocking and a little more solving, please?” Krei huffed in defense.

“I have found a biometric match.” Baymaxed announced. “Celine Simard; a professional physicist from Lyontreal.”

Wasabi studied the read out on Baymax’s screen. “Says here she worked her way through college as an acrobat in the circus. Stage name, Sirque. I guess that explains the leotard.”

“It also says she’s wanted for theft in major cities from around the globe.” Hiro added. “Any idea what she took?”

“No idea.” Krei answered. “My personal computer has information on hundreds of top secret projects. It could’ve been anything.”

“And with a physics degree, that means she’s smart enough to use whatever it is she took.” Wasabi ominously warned.

                                             ----------------------------

Hiro and Wasabi arrived back at the Luck Cat just in time for the party. Fred and the rest of their friends had arrived and were just finishing decorating the cafe.

"Hey, so what did we miss?" Wasabi asked.

"Oh not much." Honey Lemon answered. "Karmi was just telling us the latest chapter of her story."

"Yeah the one where Captain Cutie and his girlfriend Lab Lady go on a romantic getaway. It's adorable." Varian mocked, and it took every bit of Hiro's willpower not to tackle him from across the room.

"Yeah, it's real interesting. I didn't even know ‘Capitan Cuite’ had a girlfriend." Megan got in on the teasing and Hiro wanted to sink into the ground and disappear.

Karmi however seemed to not to notice the meaning behind their words. "I'm glad someone likes my stories. Hiro doesn't think much of them."

"Oh he just doesn't know what's good." Megan encouraged her. "I think you're a great writer."

"Thanks."

"Yeah! I especially liked the cool new power ups you came up with." Fred added.

Fortunately Aunt Cass interrupted the conversation. "Food's ready!" She sang while carrying two trays of homemade pizza.

From there the party proceeded smoothly. They ate dinner and then played some games, with Hiro finally getting back at Varian with truth or dare. He dared the other teen to juggle some eggs, which all wound up landing on top Varian's head after only one attempt.

Next was cake and ice cream; which Hiro had to admit turned out pretty good. Even though he was loathed to stroke Varian's ego by saying so out loud.

Still, all went well, right up until time to open his presents. Hiro had opened most of them, save for Varian's and Karmi's. He got to Karmi's and had only just unwrapped it, when a loud booming noise from across the street was heard. Soon, the cafe shook as if hit by an earthquake.

Everyone ducked for cover as cups and dishes clattered off the table and shelves and pictures fell off the walls. Hiro though spotted a familiar figure run pass and duck into an alley. She was wearing a leotard.

As the shaking subsided, and before anyone could stop him, Hiro rushed out to see what had happened and hopefully to catch the culprit.

He saw the damage from, not an explosion, but an implosion. As if something had sucked everything inward with street lamps and a mailbox bent in on themselves towards a central point.

There was no sign of Sirque, but Hiro spotted some small metal balls lying on the ground in the center point of the wreckage.

"Hiro? What are you doing?" Megan came up behind him. "Usually people run away from explosions not towards them."

"And yet, here you are." He teased. She rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Also it wasn't an explosion that caused this."

He didn't get a chance to explain further as Gogo came up and told them to come back inside before Aunt Cass noticed they were gone. Hiro scooped up the clue he'd found and they headed back.

The cafe was a mess and the party was officially deemed over with. Everyone stayed to clean up but soon one by one they all left.

First Cruz picked up Megan. Then Wasabi offered Karmi a ride back to the dorms. Gogo and Honey Lemon took their leave next, both promising to go on patrol once they had time to get their gear.

Finally, once there was nothing left to clean, Hiro and Varian made up an excuse to Aunt Cass and rode with Fred to HQ to study the metal orbs Hiro had found.

                                              ----------------------------

"So..nice evening, hun?" Wabasi awkwardly tried to make small talk on the way back to the dorms. He didn't know Karmi as well as some of his other friends did and wasn't sure what to talk about.

"Yeah." Karmi dully said as she gazed out the window, chin in her hand.

"Yeah." Wasabi echoed in defeat.

He wasn't getting anywhere. He racked his brain for another point of conversation, when suddenly a swirling hole appeared in the air. It wiggled and writhed, crackling with energy, and a woman wearing a leotard jumped out and landed on the hood of Wasabi's car.

He slammed the breaks in surprise. She in turn responded quickly, nimbly rolling off the hood and running in the opposite direction of the portal.

Wasabi took a few moments to breath. His heart was racing. He looked over to Karmi who looked equally scared. However, her eyes were still fixated on the portal.

"Look out!" She cried.

Wasabi saw debris fly past and into the gaping mouth of the portal. It appeared to be shortcuriting, writhing even more erratically than before. Then, to Wasabi's horror, the wind picked up speed, lifted the car up, and hurled them into the portal.

Their screams were cut short as they entered and then the portal closed, leaving no trace that they had ever been there.

#big hero 6 #bh6 #Hiro Hamada #Karmi #Varian #Wasabi #tangled #tangled the series #rapunzel's tangled adventure #BH6 the series

[allthebooksandcrannies]

Dana Has Enough (A Dana Winters/Jack Drake fic)

So, here’s another little fic for Tim’s birthday in which Jack forgets his son’s birthday and Dana calls bullshit. Will post a second chapter later focusing on what happens the rest of the day, but i wanted to get at least the first part out tonight. Next chapter will be either Tim or Dana’s POV but for all of his asshatness, Jack’s POV is way too much fun to write in.

Read on AO3 here

Dana Has Enough

Jack wasn’t exactly sure what he had done wrong, but he was definitely in trouble.

“You’re joking, right?” Dana’s jaw hung lower than he’d ever seen it. Normally Jack loved how much more expressive than Janet his new wife was, but right now it was making something uncomfortable twist in his guts. “You really don’t know why I’m asking if you and Tim have plans for tomorrow?”

Hoping to avoid making this situation worse, Jack haltingly asked “did Tim say something about plans? I might have forgotten, I guess.” Dana’s face was not softening. Abort. Abort. “Whatever it is, I’ll make it up to you,” he promised as he reached a hand out to rest softly on her arm.

Dana’s expression did finally shift though it was into something he might have called sadness if that made any sense in this situation. Jack understood how to deal with anger. He wasn’t sure what to do with sadness, or what it had to do with Tim to be honest.

“Forget it Jack.” Except, rather than sliding under the covers with him, Dana grabbed her phone and made to leave the room.

“Dana, sweetheart its late! Come back to bed, love,” he implored.  

She shook her head, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear as she did. “I’ll be back, there’s just something I need to take care of first.”

Jack decided to let it go, figuring she would have forgiven him for whatever he’d done to annoy her by morning.

-0

[JdJdJd]

-0

 Jack was not forgiven by morning. Not if the throw blanket on the couch or the chilly glance he got when he came into the kitchen were any indication.

Though if she meant to rattle him, she was going to be disappointed. Jack was an old pro at managing an angry wife. If acted oblivious for long enough, she would have to explain what had her so upset, and then he could apologize until he was forgiven.

Course of action decided, he pulled up a chair next to Tim with an intentionally cheerful, “morning, son!”

Apparently he was a little to loud in his greeting or a little too quite in his approach, however, because Tim jumped hard enough to barely avoid sloshing his coffee.

“Nice save, kid!” And he was surprised by the warmth that filled him when Tim shot him a shy smile of thanks. He’d forgotten how good it felt to prompt that particular smile, rather than the carefully curated collection of smiles Janet had trained into him. God. It was way to early to be thinking about Janet.

“What are you up to today, kid?” Jack didn’t miss the questioning glance Tim sent Dana at Jack’s question.

“Um… I was going to meet up with a couple of my friends to hang out this afternoon, and then Dick’s picking me up at six for dinner at the manor. Did… did you have plans for today?” Why was everyone in Jack’s house sending him confused looks all of a sudden? Did he miss some kind of memo? Well, if they wanted something from him they should just say so. Jeez.

Jack waited to reply as Dana went around dropping plates of eggs and borrowed toast in front of each table setting. It seemed she put his down with slightly more force than necessary, but Jack was going to stick to his plan. “I was thinking Dana and I might go see that new romantic comedy she’s been talking about.” There. Let his wife remember why she married him. He could be romantic.

“Oh.” Was that disappointment in Tim’s voice? “Well, that soun-”

“Actually,” Dana interrupted with a grin that made her look five years younger, “I was hoping Tim might be willing to take me to the new photography exhibit at the Gotham Museum of Art this morning.” Tim’s whole body perked up, and Dana seemed to take that as encouragement. “It’s supposed to be themed around heroism and my friend Megan said that the photographer got some really good shots of Nightwing,” she coaxed.

Any disappointment that Tim may or may not have shown earlier was definitely gone now. “That would be great, Dana!” His smile was blinding. “Let me go text Connor that I might have to push our meet up back a couple hours. I’ll be right back!”

Dana leaned back in her chair with a gentle smile that turned down right predatory when she turned back to Jack.

Jabbing her fork at him accusatorily, she whispered “now that is how you celebrate a birthday, Jack Drake.”

Oh. Oh. So, that’s what he’d forgotten. Tim would be turning what fifteen? sixteen? Jack had to do some mental math to remember how old his son would be turning today, and that did not help with the sudden nausea overcoming him. Fuck.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat there staring at the eggs he no longer had the appetite to eat. It wasn’t until Tim practically ran back in fully dressed with his camera around his neck, and when was the last tiem he saw that camera, and Dana rose to drop her empty plate in the sink that Jack felt himself come back to reality.

“You ready to go, Tim?” Dana asked in a voice sunnier than Janet’s ever had been. Tim’s responding “Yup!” was just as exuberant though.

Suddenly, Tim was walking out the door, and Jack knew he couldn’t leave it like that. Spurred on by a wave of panic, he forced out a rushed “Happy birthday, Timothy!”

Dana raised an eyebrow at him, but Tim looked at him the same way he used to when Jack and Janet would come back after being gone for more than a month. Like he was shocked that they had remembered him after all but was pleasantly surprised they had.

Jack wanted to yell. Wanted to ask why that was such a surprise. Why his son expected him to fail. It wasn’t fair. He was trying so hard, but here Dana had to… had to make sure his kid something special on his birthday. He supposed there wasn’t much point in trying to argue anyway. They were already gone.

Edit: Chapter 2 can now be found here

#Tim Drake #dana winters #jack drake #jack drake is a bad parent #dana winters steps the fuck up #someone ought to parent this kid #good stepmom Dana Winters #tim drake deserves better #tim drake fanfic #batman fanfiction #tim drake is robin #bruce wayne is batman #jack drake pov #dana has enough #my fanfic writing #my writing #original post

[dansnaturepictures]

14/01/2021-Lakeside and sky scenes out the back 

I took the first picture in this photoset of raindrops on the window today as I worked whilst trying to take a picture of the nice sky outside after a shower, something I did manage too with photos I tweeted tonight on Dans_Pictures. Its always interesting to observe and capture the raindrops on the window normally a macro lens subject for me I by accident as I was using that for the sky scenes took it with my new general lens today and it came out okay still I thought. This was a nice way to use the shower conditions of early today. 

Weather that had dried up by the time I took my Lakeside Country Park daily exercise walk, I took the second picture in this photoset of one of the many House Sparrows that are always about in numbers in the bushes by the entrance which was nice. Walking on I managed the third and fourth pictures in this photoset of a really nice bit of light in the sky emerging over the landscape and some nice catkins. I was then thrilled to see one Mute Swan flying from the northern path over the lake as they do a lot, and indeed funnily enough as I photographed one of the pair doing five years ago today from consulting my Facebook memories. I was then so pleased to see the other swan right above across the path where it did a circuit of flight, and I took the fifth picture in this photoset of it as well as one other which I tweeted. Its always good to take pictures of the spectacular sight of flying swans and once again I have started early, a brilliant wildlife moment on my walk today. 

I went on to take the sixth, seventh and eighth pictures in this photoset on my walk of various views on another day of photos I was pleased with. 

In the last five or ten minutes of the walk I was lucky to see so much more wildlife. Great Crested Grebes and co. on the lakes and four Cormorants flying over the country park ultimately, I had got one as a from the house tick on Tuesday flying over Lakeside seen from my room following a handful of sightings of this bird at Lakeside still a fair turn up for the books towards the end of 2020 and this was a sure sign of them really moving into the area now. Quite logical for a place with so much water for these birds that whilst traditionally and naturally coastal are common inland. 

I also saw a Green Woodpecker yet again in the vast grassy area so perfect for them in the area north of the steam railway station there are so many of them about here lately being noticed by many people which is brilliant. I then spotted the Redwing in the ninth picture in this photoset fly into a tree. A brilliant Redwing view here for a second day running, one week on from some pictures of them I took at Riverside Park on my birthday a week ago today a very close view. Its been nice to see Redwings more than once this week. I have known these are here in winter for a long time seeing many on my New Year’s Day year list foundation laying walks, but with them migrated when I began working from home on a brilliant run of hot sunny spring weather as the pandemic hit the UK I had come to look forward to the Redwings and Fieldfare too as it happened as my next lunch time walks project back in the autumn. I think it was first seeing them and then wondering if I could see one on New Year’s Day, I didn’t this year and if I’m honest the Redwings at Lakeside have been less widespread across the park slightly and I’ve possibly seen slightly less whilst just seeing one of these in this urban country park is amazing. And in terms of my project whilst I got a picture I was pleased with and a really close view of a Fieldfare in late October it never really took off in terms of seeing Redwings as much as say I have done with Green Woodpeckers and Great Crested Grebes, Chiffchaffs in the spring, other animals like butterflies and dragonflies day to day and more. But like I say just getting any view of them is really quite something. A big part of the focus on Redwings was to try and get a photo of one I’d never done that on this site in all the years I’ve seen them here, and I only really had a record shot one not the best quality if I’m honest as 2020 went on. But today I wonder whether I’ll see them consistently now, their food the berries seem to be mostly in the very east of the park an area that I don’t always come every day when walking. But at least I did manage to get a picture of a quality I am quite happy with of this majestic and beautiful bird today.

There were three main moments of note in between working this afternoon and onto this evening, seeing a beautiful Buzzard flying out of my window the first bird of prey I’ve seen from my room for a little while something I love with birds I love I start my a raptor a day lockdown daily photo tweeting thread tomorrow after the first one focusing on my past photos of mammals came to an end tonight I really enjoyed doing it its helped me through the lockdown days so far as my a butterfly a day originally did in the first lockdown and it did again alongside a flower, bird and general insect a day in lockdown 2.0 and taking the tenth and final picture in this photoset of one of the best sky scenes I have seen this year which I was thrilled to capture and found brilliant to watch. Then I made the most once I finished work at 5pm (on time this time, or thereabouts!) of having Chris Packham and Megan McCubbin’s brilliant book ‘Back to Nature how to love life - and save it’ which I got for Christmas and am loving reading at the moment. Just like Chris’ book ‘Fingers in the Sparkle Jar’ which I found so insightful and special I am engrossed in this book, by having half an hour’s or so reading and a cup of tea before doing my photos. It really helped to get me away from a screen between logging off of the work device and onto my own a good thing to do at this time of year. I am finding the book very comprehensive of exploring the life we have around us and the threats and what we need to do to improve things for the planet for far. I am about half way through the book and very charmed by it so it really was a nice bridge between my day and evening which I hoped I could do when I got the book so I enjoyed this today. 

Wildlife Sightings Summary: Three of my favourite birds the Great Crested Grebe, Buzzard and Green Woodpecker, Redwing, Blackbird, Robin, Goldfinch, Blue Tit, Pied Wagtail, Starling, House Sparrow, Woodpigeon, Collared Dove, Magpie, Jackdaw, Carrion Crow, Herring Gull, Black-headed Gull, Mallard, Moorhen, Coot and Mute Swan.

#mute swan #moorhen #coot #mallard #black-headed gull #herring gull #carrion crow #crow #crows #jackdaw #buzzard #magpie #collared dove #woodpigeon #house sparrow #starling #pied wagtail #blue tit #goldfinch #robin #blackbird #redwing #green woodpecker #great crested grebe #photography #birdwatching #uk #world #beautiful #photos

[strawberries-n-sugar]

Sound Waves pt 2

Summary: Tom accidentally overheard something he shouldn't have from your room only for things to become more awkward the next day 

Part1

Author: I have decided to make this a plus size reader, I am not plus sized so please don’t be upset with me, I’m not sure if I want Tom and reader to be a couple or not, let me know if you ship it.You guys didn’t ask but I thought you may be interested, thankyou for your feedback <3 @tomsfish​ @sherlockfan4life​

“Tom, Tom wait up!” Someone calls out to Tom as he is wrapping up for the day and coming down the hall towards his room. “Yes?” Tom answers the unfamiliar voice. 

“Hold up,” the owner jogs up to him, “Have you seen Y/N?” “I saw her earlier today at breakfast, pardon me but, do i know you?” This boy was obviously no older than 17, “How do you know Y/N?”

“She’s my mom, I’m Logan,” he offers Tom a handshake and Tom accepts after picking up his chin from the floor. “Yes, of course, you look just like your mother much taller though”

“I get that a lot, can you help me find her?”

“Yes, you may want to suggest to your mother to hang something-how old are you, Logan?” “16, I just got my license so I drove over. Check it,” he flashes his new license card with pride. 

“Congratulations,” Tom chuckles. “Tell mom what?” 

Tom considers for a moment if saying it would be appropriate or not, “tell her that she may want to put something on the door handle, she will understand,” Tom smiles, “I’m concerned for her privacy. Tom turned to walk faster ahead, that was safe to say, right? 

“I understand that too, what happened?” Logan asks curiously and catches up to him. “Did you walk in on something?”

“No, no, I didn’t walk in on anything”

“So you were eavesdropping?”

“No. I simply overheard what I believe was meant to be a moment of privacy for your mother, that is all. I won’t say anything else. I respect your mum and it wasn’t for me to hear,” Tom made clear as they walked around looking for you.

“What did you hear?” Logan presses on but Tom didn’t answer. “Was it hot?” 

“That is your mum,” Tom scolds him only to be laughed at, “Alright, was it just her?”

“I believe so,” Tom lets slip on accident, stopping and squeezing his eyes closed and biting his knuckles at what he just let slip to the boy. 

“OO~ I know what you heard,” a wide smirk fills your son’s face, “that’s why dad got pissed” 

“Is that who she was on the phone with?” Tom asked before he could think it over. 

“Yeah, why?”

Tom shoved his hands into his pockets and kept walking, this wasn’t his business, he shouldn’t even know, “Just tell your mum the walls are thin...”

“Mhm, maybe~” 

“Why wouldn’t you? You want others to hear her private moments?”

“I couldn’t care less about that, but you’re flustered and it is hilarious,” he laughs at Tom. “Is that her?” He asked as they enter the hotel ball room where food was out and you were pacing with a cupcake at hand and waiting on Logan to message you about how his driving test went because he promised he would and he hadn’t. Your mind was going to the worst thoughts as you worried. “Yes, don’t you recognize your own mum?” 

He shrugs, “I haven’t seen her in a while and she has just gotten a bit more uhm,” he tries to gesture that you had gained weight.

“More what? How long?” Tom asks curiously and tilts his head, glancing between you and your son. “Just more,” Logan looks you up and down from the doorway they stood at, tilting his head sideways to look at your behind. “Logan, be respectful. How long has it been since you last saw her?” He shrugs, “lost count after four years” “That is terrible......”

“Tom,” you glance over and wave when you notice him and start walking over. 

“What do I  do dude?” Logan freezes. “Hug her and say hello I suppose,” Tom gave what he thought was the best answer as you notice who is standing beside you. 

“Logan!” You run over and squeeze him, kissing his face and holding his face. You had long forgotten your fallen half of a red velvet cupcake and didn’t care about the icing on your fingers. “I’m sorry,” you laugh realizing and wipe his face with the napkin you had. “Look at you,” you step back and wipe your own face because you felt icing around your lips. “I missed you, I didn’t know you were coming. Did you pass?” You ask him excitedly and punch his arm, “Text me next time I was scared to death”

“Yeah, I drove myself....,” he smiles awkwardly but it softens when you rub his arm and kiss his cheek. “I am so proud of you but-....does Paul know you’re here?”

“No....I didn’t tell him because I wanted to see you.....I told him I was with Rebecca....” 

You nod, “You should go, but thankyou so much baby,” you kiss his cheek and the two touch foreheads for a long moment. “I love you so much, you know that?” He nods. “I want you to keep texting me and calling, please. I want to know what you have going on, alright?” Again, the boy nods. You give him a kiss and he pulls you closer into him, “You look different....” “Yeah...I know....how is babygirl?” “Bad,” he laughs, “Really Logan Christopher y/l/n...she never calls or anything and she won’t respond to me” “She is good, but I’m not happy with her right now” “Why?” “Since I got my license dad is forcing me to drive her to the mall and making me look after her while she buys bras”

Your eyes widen and you cover your mouth, “She is wearing bras now? She has boobies?” “Kill me,” Logan mumbles and Tom who was still standing there silently tries not to laugh. “Do you have any pictures of her? Please,” you plead and he nods showing you a selfie that he and his sister took together. “Oh Megan, Tom, this is my daughter,” you finally realize that he was still standing there and beckon him to come look by pulling his hand. “She is beautiful,” Tom smiles noticing how she was your spitting image. 

“Well, I have to go so I can get back before dad figures out where I am. I had to see you and I wanted to see how you were doing, and oh! Tom, Megan’s birthday is next week and she is obsessed with you, may I get an autograph?” 

“How about a video of your mum and I?” “Dude, she would flip, seriously?” “Ofcourse,” he smiles and stands beside you as Logan steps back to record. 

“Hello,” Tom smiles and waves at the camera, “Your mum and I just wanted to wish you the happiest of birthdays, you are a lovely and very lucky young lady she and your brother care about you very much” “I love you baby, please text me? Something,” you both blow her a kiss. 

“Thanks, it was nice meeting you! Bye, mom!” Logan waves running off. 

 “Tom, thankyou so much for that” 

“I wanted to, it was nothing. Logan is quite a character,” he chuckles.

“Yes, he always has been”

“I am sorry about the comment he made in regards to-” “No, it’s alright. I understand it just took him by surprise. I was a lot smaller then,” you laugh, you had found comfort in foods and sweets with all that had happened in the past five years. “Honestly, I like this me though. I am so much more confident in myself,” you say honestly. 

“I am very happy to hear that,” he smiles handing you another cupcake. “you dropped yours. I didn’t know you had children”

“Oh, thankyou and yes I have three”

“Is Rebecca the other?” “Yes, she is the eldest. She and Logan were planned but Megan came as a surprise, after that I promised myself three was plenty,” you laugh, “I love them so much” 

“I can see that, Y/N”

“Yes?”

“I think I need to tell you something. I want to clarify that I was not purposefully listening in but I overheard you this morning,” he chews his lip.

“Oh my gosh,” you hide your face that is now the same color as your cupcake, “Tom, I am so beyond sorry”

“Don’t be,” he smiles a little, glancing at you and as if possible you grow redder. 

“I’m glad it was you and noone else”

“As am I, I could lend you a sock,” you both laugh.

“Thankyou, but, it will never happen again....”

“Something is bothering you....”

“It’s- the cupcake reminds me I will be missing another one of their birthdays.....”

“May I have Logan’s number please?”

“Sure?” you write it on a napkin

“Thankyou,” his mind was already scheming 

#tom hiddleston #tomhiddleston x reader

[thebowerypresents]

POSITIVE SPINS: NEW ARTISTS, NEW ALBUMS, AND NEW LIVE STREAMS THAT PUT OUR 2020 ON A BETTER TRACK

2020 proved to be one of the hardest years we have collectively gone through.  While we didn’t have live music to lean on when times got tough, these are the albums, artists and livestreams that got us through the rough patches and will carry us into a brighter 2021.

Listen to our playlist of Positive Spins!

BEST NEW ARTISTS OF 2020 (in no particular order)

THICK

“Brooklyn-based pop-punk three-piece, THICK, are not afraid to say (or sing) what’s on everyone’s mind - with a fierceness and confidence I can only aspire to assume. Sticking it to the establishment is the name of their game - take “Mainsplain,” for instance - and they manage to do so with catchy chord progressions and an uplifting vigor. I can’t wait to see what’s next for the trio, and who else they’ll put in check.” - S. D.

Ela Minus

“Brooklyn-based techno-pop artist Ela Minus broke onto the scene this year with her debut album “ acts of rebellion.” The Colombian-born musician has a background in emo bands, is a trained jazz drummer, and she wrote, produced, engineered, and recorded the album on her own. “acts of rebellion” is moody and sultry, while still making you want to grab your friends and dance.” - K. C.

Arlo Parks

“Without even having released her debut album yet, Arlo Parks has made a name for herself this year. Singles released throughout the year, paired with 2019’s EP ‘Sophie’ and her slot as support on Hayley Williams’ (cancelled) tour have boosted Arlo to a new level this year, that we can only assume will continue to rise in 2021 when her debut album drops.” - K. C.

Beabadoobee

“Beabadoobee’s interesting name is only matched by her sound - bedroom-pop fused with nineties indie-rock, tinged with a tender, DIY aesthetic. Her track “If You Want To” will have you singing along, while her single “She Plays Bass” will take you back to your hormonal, vulnerable, teenage years met with sublime nostalgia. She’s without a doubt a silver lining in 2020.” - S. D.

BENEE

“I first saw Auckland’s BENEE at Rough Trade in October of last year - her sincere, to-the-point lyrics and quirky hooks instantly hooked me. You may know her track, “Supalonely,” which found popularity on TikTok during the height of lockdown, but BENEE’s sound isn’t limited to the confines of one social media trend. In her debut album released this year, BENEE displays an uncanny ability to tackle alt-rock, hip-hop and electro-pop all at the same time, in an unbothered, endearing way - making her a “one to watch” in 2020 and beyond.” - S. D.

Christian Lee Hutson

There isn’t a lack of acoustic singer-songwriters out there, but Christian Lee Hutson is an important new voice. Hutson first full length album, “Beginners,” released this year, has a warm and honest quality to it. The production is subtle (thanks to producer Phoebe Bridgers), and so perfectly complements a simple, acoustic narrative. The result is a soulful, beautiful, and special work of music. - S. D.

Do Nothing

“2020 newcomers out of Nottingham, UK, Do Nothing have already made a big splash in the post-punk world. Releasing their first EP, Zero Dollar Bill, earlier this year, the band have been compared to Idles and are setting out on a similar path of success. Upon first hearing their earlier single Lebron James, countless fans are sure to be sucked into the world of Do Nothing.” - K. C.

Kate Bollinger

“I first listened to Kate Bollinger when she released I Don’t Wanna Lose in 2019. I played the track Candy on repeat all year long. It has been so lovely to watch her grow into the artist she is today. This year she released an EP called A word becomes a sound, which quickly became one of my favorite releases of 2020. Her voice is so comforting. Whenever I listen, I feel like I am being coddled in a fluffy blanket with a cup of herbal tea and nothing could go wrong at that moment. I can’t wait to see what Kate has planned for 2021 and beyond!” - L. S.

SAULT

“After a year of intense racial unrest in the United States, SAULT’s importance is more significant now than ever.  With themes focusing around the Black Lives matter movement, this mystery soul-funk group has become more than buzzy in the music scene, and has earned a spot on tons of year end lists.” - K. C.

Sorry

“London-based genre-defying band Sorry released their debut album ‘925’ this year, produced by James Dring (Gorillaz, Jamie T) which is already reason enough to pique the interest of most. The album certainly does not disappoint, with each song giving you a different taste of the many interesting sides of this up-and-coming group.” - K. C.

Honorable Mentions:

Gracie Abrams Remi Wolf Hailey Whitters KennyHoopla Jade Hairpins Jockstrap Model/Actriz Mild Orange Your Smith Neal Francis

BEST NEW ALBUMS OF 2020 (in no particular order)

Fiona Apple – Fetch the Bolt Cutters

“Fiona Apple is fearless in this album. The song structures and sounds take you on a listening experience I can only describe as emotional in the best way. Eight years of waiting was totally worth it.“ - S. D.

Fleet Foxes – Shore

“This album had been bright spot in a difficult year. St. Ann’s Church was the perfect location for their Colbert performance of Can I Believe You and the live stream will be the perfect holiday present. Ready to feel all the feels!” - K. A.

Khruangbin - Mordechai

“Khruangbin is one of my go-to bands, and “Mordechai” has been heavy in my rotation in 2020. It’s really a great album – I play it cover-to-cover and pairs well with a cocktail and cooking at home, infusing some needed spice and energy in what could otherwise be ‘just another night’ during a long, monotonous several months.” - C.M.

Moses Sumney - Græ

“The highly anticipated second album from Moses Sumney, shows us more of the highly personal, raw and emotionally moving music we have some to expect from him. The cluster of emotions that Moses works through with his beautifully unique voice in this 20 song album give us a look into the complicated mind of one of the most interesting artists of the last 5 years.” - K. C.

Perfume Genius – Set My Heart On Fire Immediately

“*Bill Hader’s Stefan voice* this album has everything! From the heavy and distorted bass on “Describe” to the melodic harp stringing of “Leave,” to the dance ballad (is that a thing?) “On The Floor,” Perfume Genius’ album Set My Heart on Fire Immediately really does have it all. Each song feels vastly different from the next in tone, instrumentation, and influence – yet they all come together so perfectly to make this stunning album, all while showcasing his vocal depth and range. There’s a reason he’s called Perfume *Genius*, and that is because Mike Hadreas can take familiar feelings and turn them into unconventional pop ballads that feel both relatable, but new and exciting at the same time.” - R. E.

Phoebe Bridgers – Punisher  

“How does Phoebe do it? (a question I ask myself daily). I remember waking up on June 18 as if it was my birthday. Punisher is everything I hoped for and then some more. The last song on the album, “I know The End” concludes with a scream which is the perfect cherry on top to this masterpiece. This album is a rollercoaster of Phoebe’s emotions and I feel blessed to be along for the ride. It is relatable, heartfelt and honest. Thank you to Phoebe for this gift. The world will never be the same after this.” - L. S.

Rina Sawayama - SAWAYAMA

“SAWAYAMA is the early 2000s pop resurgence we didn’t know we needed, mixed with all the best parts of nu-metal. Rina Sawayama uses catchy pop hooks reminiscent of early Britney Spears, and pairs them with heavy guitar riffs to give us arguably the most fun album of 2020 that we cannot wait to experience live.” - K. C.

Tame Impala – The Slow Rush

Thundercat - It Is What It Is

“I love how this album embraces the darkness while managing to find the light in despair - it seems to acutely reflect the times we are in yet is simultaneously so personal to Bruner. The lyrics are set against a backdrop of funk, electronica, jazz, and soul, so there’s a little something for everybody.” - S. D.

Waxahatchee - Saint Cloud

“This album was released early in quarantine, and was the perfect musical escape during some of the toughest days. The imagery and reflection of the lyrics are why Saint Cloud tops my list of albums of 2020.” - J. F.

Honorable Mentions: The Beths – Jump Rope Gazers Fontaines DC - A Heros Dream Kevin Morby – Sundowner Jason Isbell & the 400 Unit – Reunions My Morning Jacket - The Waterfall II CHIKA - Industry Games Megan Thee Stallion - Suga Christian Lee Hutson- Beginners Idles- Ultra Mono Sturgill Simpson - Cuttin Grass Pup - This Place Sucks Ass Futurebirds- Teamwork Adrianne Lenker – Songs / Instrumentals Tom Misch, Yussef Dayes - What Kinda Music + the bonus tracks EP Some Kind Of Peace – Olafur Arnalds Tyler Bryant and the Shakedown - Pressure Josh Ritter - See Here, I Have Built You a Mansion Sahara Moon - Worthy Local H - Lifers Deep Purple - Whoosh! Indigo Girls Look Long Taylor Swift - folklore Against All Logic – 2017-2019

TOP TEN LIVESTREAMS 2020 (in no particular order)

Christine & The Queens (Live on KEXP at Home)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bavZe47um4

“Live on KEXP at Home” was home to some of my favorite quarantine livestreams, and this one did anything but disappoint. Not only does Chris, aka Christine & The Queens, perform, but interviews are woven throughout the livestream. The drama of her performances, juxtaposed with her witty and humorous banter with the interviewer was such a breath of fresh air. If you’re a fan of Chris, this is a must watch.“ - S. D.

Courtney Barnett and Lucius & Friends: Live From Our Lounge Rooms with Sheryl Crow, 3/25/20

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbfRbw3o1jU

“This was a gift that kept on giving. The stream started off with Courtney Barnett and Lucius in matching pajamas. I truly thought it could not get any better but I was in for a treat! The stream included performances by Nathaniel Rateliff, Sheryl Crow, Sharon Van Etten, Waxahatchee, Kevin Morby and more. I can safely say this was my favorite live stream I watched in 2020.” - L. S.

Julien Baker, Themfest Instagram Livestream, 4/16/20

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tINSbY4wRjs

“Recorded for Themfest during the early days of quarantine, Julien Baker’s in-home livestream was a welcome respite from the Cuomo briefings and general despair of mid April. Just kidding, Julien Baker is the queen of Sad Shit and I certainly didn’t tune into this livestream expecting a mood boost. But if you subscribe to the “sad songs make me feel better” aesthetic purveyed by our sweet little siren, this moody, intimate shot-on-iphone set will scratch that itch. But let’s not fool ourselves, nothing will ever replace the feeling of holding your breath along with 1,799 others at Brooklyn Steel while JB rips your heart out, in a nice way.” - E. M.

Kurt Vile, Love From Philly Livestream, 5/3/20 (covers John Prine’s “Sam Stone” near the end)  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjKG-7d5loY&feature=emb_logo - Jared

“Back in May, Kurt Vile took to his basement for a solo acoustic stream to benefit 30 Amp Circuit, a non-profit dedicated to support the health, wellness, and professional needs of Philadelphia-based musicians and artists. The intimate 3-song set rounded out with a special tribute to the late John Prine, as Kurt did his own rendition of “Sam Stone.”” - J. D.

Radiohead, In Rainbows - From The Basement, 6/4/20

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWqDIZxO-nU

“This is the one die hard Radiohead fans have been waiting for. This session originally from 2008 existed in some pretty esoteric places and has been almost impossible to find – until now.” - G. A.

Sturgill Simpson, Live at The Ryman Auditorium, 6/5/20  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kO73im4J2sU

“2020 was supposed to be a banner year for Sturgill, until he got COVID-19 in April. He’s ok now, but something about this performance in the sacred church of country music The Ryman, hits different.” - G. A.

Haim - Women in Music PT. III Live Show, 6/25/20

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_eJU6X3_jQ

“I love pretty much everything the Haim sisters do - so much so that I aspire to be a sister myself. When I was feeling those very familiar mid-pandemic blues, their “Women in Music PT III” livestream, which celebrated their new album of the same name, was the exact pick me up that I needed. For the first time since March, the 30 minute set made me feel as if I was at an intimate gathering - rather than behind a computer watching a YouTube video along with thousands of others. The stream will have you grooving, laughing, and you may even want to be a Haim sister yourself.” - S. D.

Nilufer Yanya, Boiler Room: Streaming From Isolation with Night Dreamer & Worldwide FM, 6/28/20

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAaAicIJE7s

“Hauntingly beautiful and yet also somehow grounded, Nilufer Yanya’s June livestream was a special one to watch. It makes the case for how intimate an artist’s performance can be, even virtually.” - G. A.

Brittany Howard, Live From Ryman Auditorium, 10/17/20

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLH59WLQbZo

“Watching Brittany Howard and her incredible band rip through a set on the Ryman stage like no one and everyone was watching all at once was cathartic. The combination of such a singular artist and historic venue hit a similar nerve to seeing an artist you’re excited about play a show in the flesh with people you love – not an easy feat!” - M. L.

Tkay Maidza - Live on KEXP at Home, 11/3/20

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPJgrDvyRbw

“13 minutes and 11 seconds of pure energy. This livestream is the moment we’ve all been waiting for, and, in my opinion, showcases Maidza as the star that she is. A must-watch if you’re looking for a refreshing and colorful approach to hip-hop.“ - S. D.

[imaginesforyourfandom]

Tough Loss - Alex Morgan Imagine

AN: I think I used this GIF before but oh well....that might start happening now...so just pay attention to names.

(Y/N) POV:

I stood for a moment resting my hands on my hips taking deep breaths. I could feel my eyes stinging and my throat tightening up a little as I tried to stop myself from crying. I looked around in the stadium and it was a sea of red, white, and blue celebrating. I glanced around the field seeing my teammates in various states of devastation.

I walked around trying to comfort my teammates. I could tell this was a huge loss for everyone. Up until this point, we had practically breezed through the tournament. I really thought we had it. Of course, I knew the US was going to be a huge test for us especially considering how star-studded their team is, but I thought for sure that we could pull off the upset.

Ending up in the Third-Place match for the second tournament in a row really felt brutal. Hopefully, we would walk away with something though. I continued looking around the field and noticed the Americans had started comforting dome of my teammates. I saw Lucy who had her hands on her knees as she was bent over. I walked towards her pulled her into a hug to which she immediately started sobbing into my shoulder.

“It’s not fair.” She said as I nodded my head.

“I know.” I said as she pulled back and wiped her eyes. I turned to see Megan Rapinoe come over and give Lucy a hug. She gave me a small smile as I returned it. Once she was done hugging Lucy, she pulled me into a hug.

“You guys did amazing. Keep your head up.” She said to me as I nodded my head. She pulled away and gave me a small smile as I took a breath.

“You guys killed it too. You deserve the win.” I said as she glanced behind me. Before I could turn to see what she was looking at, I felt arms wrap around me and a head drop to my shoulder. Pinoe gave me a small smile as she turned to walk away. I turned and accepted the hug from my girlfriend.

“I’m sorry.” She said as I smiled softly at her. She shouldn’t be sad. Not when she had such an incredible game.

“Don’t be. You scored a phenomenal goal.” I said as she gave me a soft smile. “Besides, what better birthday gift then a trip to the final?”

“I still feel bad.” She said as I nodded my head. I understood where she was coming from, but it was her birthday and she had a great game, so I really didn’t want her to feel bad.

“Yeah, it’s a tough loss, but I’ll be fine. I am so unbelievably proud of you.” I pulled her back in for a hug as the forward buried her head into my shoulder.

After we departed, I continued walking around with my team. I was trying to make sure they knew that there was no shame in losing. We played our hearts out and we should be incredibly proud of ourselves. We then made our way into the tunnel. Those who had to do press were pulled to the side to do so, while those who were allowed to go to the locker room continued their journey to said place. I was walking when I felt a hand wrap around my arm and pull me into an empty hallway, which given how packed this place was, I found odd. I then felt lips on mine as Alex kissed me with so much passion. She pulled back and leaned her head against mine.

“Well…hello to you too.” I joked as she smiled at me. Her eyes searched mine for a moment. I could see a little sadness in them.

“I know you said I don’t have to feel bad, but I do…” I shook my head a little as I reassured her.

“Alex please don’t…you guys beat us fair and square. I mean I definitely could have done without the tea celebration, but other than that…” she laughed as I smiled at her. She looked down for a moment before looking back up at me.

“It was a joke. You know how Sophie Turner always does the ‘that’s the tea’ thing? Yeah I was doing that…” I laughed as the forward’s smile widened a little.

“Yeah I got it…” she gave me a nervous look reaching down to play with my fingers.

“Will you come to the final?” she asked trying not to make eye contact with me. I pretended to think about it for a moment before answering.

“Yeah of course I will be at the final.” I said giving her a small kiss. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world. I’ll be there when the love of my life makes history.”

She grinned at me giving me another kiss. We stood for another moment before realizing we had to get back to our respective locker rooms. I gave her another kiss as I held her close for a moment.

“Go celebrate beautiful. You have so much to celebrate today.” I said as she nodded her head.

“I’ll call you later.” She said as I nodded my head. She turned to walk away before I shouted her name.

“Happy Birthday by the way.” I said as she smiled and shook her head.

“I love you.” She said blowing me a kiss that I pretended to catch.

“I love you too.”

I walked back to my own locker room with a smile. That was the annoying thing about her. I just lost in the biggest tournament of my life, yet she had me smiling like a complete idiot. Some of my teammates gave me odd looks as I went and sat by my locker.

“You know judging by your face…I would never have thought you just lost a huge game.” I turned towards Rachel who had an eyebrow raised at me. I tried to hide the smile but ended up just shaking my head.

“It sucks that we lost, but I am so proud of us.” I said as I looked around gaining the attention of some of my teammates. “Look how far we got…we did it together as a team. Would I have loved to get to the final? Of course, but it doesn’t take away from the things we achieved during this tournament. We still have another game to play and I am going to hold my head up high and treat it like a final.”

“Couldn’t have said it better myself…” Phil said as I nodded my head.

“Are you sure that’s it or is it cause you and your girlfriend snuck off to make out?” I blushed as I looked away from them. My actions caused most of the team to laugh and some of them to scoff.

“That…is none of your concern.” I said getting a few more laughs. “I am proud of us though.”

“Me too.” Rachel said as we all kind of nodded our heads. It was a tough loss, but we will continue to hold our heads up high and be proud of what we managed to do.

The End.

#alex morgan imagine #alex morgan imagines #alex morgan #uswnt imagine #uswnt imagines #uswnt

[bonelesswords]

a study of souls | alex høgh andersen au

Chapter four: The bad things.

gif credit: @lol-haha-joke​

- masterlist

Warnings: Language, sexual content, mentions and using of drugs, mentions of a toxic relationships, grammar mistakes (english is not my first language)

Notes: This a short chapter and maybe a shitty one as well, but I found it necessary to write it for the fifth chapter, so if you want let me know what you think :)

I leave the building I've been coming to every Friday since I came back from New York and before that. I get in the car and when I fasten my belt and squeeze my fingers on the steering wheel, for the first time after a therapy session I don't feel like turning on the radio.

I understand that my need to turn on the radio doesn't come from the desire to listen to music or to listen to the news, I have more than clear that I have always done it because I didn't like when the words of Cobie, my therapist, echoed in my head.

To come back to the university has been overwhelming, so it was necessary to me to talk with her, she thought the same. I remember the first sessions and how difficult was for me to accept the situation I was in, I don't feel that way anymore, now I like to remember the words she says to me, una tras of chase away the words from my head.

I never considered myself someone who needed therapy, but there had come a point where I had realized that there were things in my head that I couldn't solve on my own.

And we talked about William, because he is the main reason why I am there, and the cause of everything else. We talked about the university, about reliving the previous year, about the professor who supplants William now. She asked me if I still have nightmares, I answered that yes, but almost none this week. I started talking about Rory and how he tries to get me close to his friends, I told her about my unfortunate encounter with this girl called Megan at Alex's party. Cobie finds the situation extremely amusing when I'm talking about Alex and all the things he says to me, I roll my eyes every time.

When I can't stand being alone with myself anymore, just because I want to, I turn on the radio and in a short time I am in front of the bakery. My turn starts in six minutes, according to my cell phone clock. I park and enter through the back door, passing through the kitchen, which is desolate. I hang my keys, put on my blue apron and tie my hair in a ponytail.

I go to the front of the bakery, where Grandma and Mary, the girl who helps her when I'm not here, are. I greet them both, and after a few minutes Annie ends her shift, saying goodbye to us.

"Everything alright?" Grandma asks me, almost cautiously.

"Yes, I needed to talk to Cobie," I say and she smiles at me, that's all she needs to hear to be sure.

"I'm glad" She just says. Then she asks me about the university and about the rest of my day, I do the same. She doesn't ask much about therapy, although I have told her that it is not a forbidden subject and that it does not bother me that she asks me, but she thinks she does not know how to handle it, and despite giving the best advice from her position of grandmother, she thinks it's always better to talk to a therapist.

Suddenly, she looks at the clock hanging on the wall, it marks half past five. Grandma's eyes widen:

"Mrs. Samantha!" she exclaims and quickly enters the kitchen, to come back again with a wrapped package in his hands. She carefully places it on the counter.

"What happens with Mrs. Samantha?" I ask and she shakes her head repeatedly.

"She ordered a cake!" She explains to me, with the most worried look on her face "And you are going to give it to her, while I pretend to be baking back there, you stay here and listen to everything she has to say" She speaks quickly, staring at the door, at any moment mrs. samantha could walk through the door. As soon as I open my mouth to protest, she interrupts me. "Not a word! The last time he came I wasted too much time, now it's your turn"

She disappears through the door of the kitchen, without letting me say a word. I look at the cake in front of me and release a great sigh of defeat; Mrs. Samantha was the lady of the neighborhood who knew everything about everyone, it's fun to have her when they get together for tea, but almost irritating when you find her on the street. When she finds someone who shows a minimum of interest in what she says, she wouldn't let them go until at least fifteen minutes have passed.

A few minutes pass until I see her enter the door. She approaches me with a smile and permeates the whole place with her perfume.

"Hello June, I haven't seen you here for a long time" She greets and rests her hand on the counter, the gold rings shine on her fingers and she taps the glass lightly with her fingernails painted a pink baby, which matches her shirt.

"Hi, it's because I started the university again, I haven't accommodated my schedule yet," I explain and she nods with a smile.

"Good to hear that you continue studying, not all mothers can say that about their children and not all grandmothers can say that about their grandchildren." She approaches me a little, as if she was trying to get me a hint about someone "I hope to say the same about my grandchildren, or at least be able to say that they have a job after finishing high school, like your brother Rory. How is he?"

"He's doing well" I just respond after that strange dialogue, it's obviously that she's trying to talk shit about someone with me, unlike her friends, I don't want to. She keeps smiling at me, waiting for me to say something "I guess this is yours, isn't it?" I extend the wrapped package and she happily takes it in her hands .

"Sure," She replies. "It's already paid, It's for my grandson, today is his birthday and it's my gift. He has always liked Lucy's cakes."

"I hope he enjoys it, then."

"Thank you, June. By the way, I have heard about something and that you are not aware, which I believe it is a shame. I really don't know if I am the one who should tell you, but having you here, I feel the need to do it" Mrs. Samantha speaks in a worried, but almost faked tone. I frown, having no idea what she is talking about and why I should be aware of something in particular.

"Don't scare me, what happened?" She shakes her head severely and gestures me with her finger to get me closer, so I do it.

"Do you remember Hugh? Your high school boyfriend? " She asks me and for a moment, it confuses me, but I remember immediately.

The memory of Hugh suddenly hits me and hearing her call him my high school boyfriend makes me want to laugh. Hugh was the guy I had sex with for the first time as a teenager. I liked him it so much that I had thought I was in love, but he didn't feel the same for me. Eventually, we moved away and stopped seeing each other completely.

"Yes, I remember. What happened with him?" I know it is a bad a idea to ask her that and that I just gave her the chance to tell me the story from the begin to the end, but my curiosity is stronger. And I know as well that is hypocritical to complain about her talking all the time about others people life but wanting to know what she has to say about Hugh. But I couldn't help it, I feel a little bit intrigued by my "high school boyfriend".

Before she starts talking, I hear the door bell that warns that someone has entered the bakery. Both she and I directed our eyes towards the door. Then, the strangest thing in the week happens; Alex himself is standing in the middle of the place, looking confused, as if someone had throw him there without warning.

His blue eyes run all over the place, until he meets mine. I stare at him, saying nothing, he smiles at me almost ... shy? He didn't look like a person who would show shyness, not in front of someone like me. However, I feel out of place, and not only because of that smile that dances on his lips as he advances towards the counter and stops behind Mrs. Samatha, lining up, but also because that night at his house I had treated him so bad. I wanted to ask her what he is doing here after that, but I don't want Mrs. Samantha to witness that conversation, so I turn my attention to her, who starts speaking again.

"He has entered rehabilitation for drug addiction." She tells me, regardless of the presence of the man waiting behind her. I open my eyes big. Her words echo throughout the place and I think even Alex is surprised from the words that come out of the lady's mouth in front of him.

"What?"

"You're listening well! I don't know if Marta, her mother, has sent him or if he has decided it on his own, but yes, it has happened. A shame, he was a good boy, I liked him" he says as if Hugh was already dead. "Marta's mother always told me that he and you made a beautiful couple, and when I found out what had happened, I thought of you. Maybe you could send your condolences to Marta, I'm sure she'll love to hear from you."

Condolences? Was Mrs. Samantha sure Hugh was still alive?

"Thanks for telling me, then. Surely I will." I lie. I wasn't going to do it, I hadn't crossed a word with her in my life, besides, what am I supposed to say? "Hi Marta, I found out about Hugh, a shame. I wasn't his friend, or anything like that, but I feel an emotional responsibility towards him, I wanted to send my condolences since Iost my virginity with him a few years ago. I hope he gets better soon."

"I hope your grandson enjoys the cake" I say again, concluding because I do not want to continue with this conversation or I will burst into laughter otherwise. She asks me to thank Grandma for the cake and says goodbye, disappearing through the door.

I turn my eyes to Alex again, his hands hide in the pockets of a gray hodie, looking at me shy, even a little uncomfortable.

"Rory has passed me the address," he says uncertainly. "He also told me that you live right here next door"

"Ah yes" I answer. "I guess you come to buy something, as you said the other time." I have no idea how to talk to him or how to react, I remember being angry but not precisely with him, Alex had not treated me badly, Megan had done it. But the situation made me angry and I had treated him badly. I wonder if he is mad at me for that.

"I came to apologize, actually," he replies suddenly, taking me by surprise. His eyes shine, he looks at me like a puppy and makes me feel guilty about how I treated him a couple of nights ago, even more than before. That wasn't right, I was the one who should have asked Rory for his number to apologize, not him.

"Why should you apologize?" I ask but really, it's not a cynical question, I want to know why he thinks he should apologize.

"Because I should have known about Megan and stopped her, it wasn't my intention to make you have a bad time. That's why." He explains to me and a little voice in my head yells at me that I'm an idiot for treating him that way. I sigh, as if that was my only reaction.

"You should not apologize, I should do it. You aren't guilty if she doesn't trust in you, I shouldn't have treated you that way," I start saying and he nods frantically. I don't know him not even a bit, but he don't look like that boy who I had seen the previous times, the one who flirted every two words, he seemed genuinely sorry for something he had not done.

"She shouldn't have any reason to trust me," he says and a smile appears on his face. "I don't have a girlfriend, June, I had told you. She's jealous because I don't pay more attention to her."

"It's okay, Alex. You don't need to explain yourself"

"And yet, I do it anyway. I feel like I need to make it up for you"

"Why? You really shouldn't."

"Because you haven't felt welcome in my house and you had a bad night, right?" I nod and he approaches the counter with a different smile, a playful smile this time "So?"

I hesitate, I put my elbows on the counter, holding my face with my hands.

"So? How do you plan to make me forget that horrible encounter I had with your girl?" I exaggerate and he rolls his eyes.

"She is not my girl" he complains "Anyway, hang out with me tomorrow night, I will reward you for that horrible hour and a half you spent at my house"

I sketch a smile when I hear it.

"Hang out with you?" I repeat and he nods "What would happen if Rory finds out that you're inviting her little sister out?" I ask amused.

"Why would he find out?" I had seen it a few times, but I had seen so many times that arrogant smile making itself present on his face.

"If I think it was a horrible night, he'll find out. Otherwise, he won't," I offer.

"Good," he replies. "I'll take a chance, then."

"You should know that if you plan to take me to one of those parties, your mission will automatically fail," I warn.

"I'll keep that in mind. I'll pick you up tomorrow at ten, it's a fact," he announces. "And the fact that I don't have your number and you don't have mine indicates that you won't be able to cancel me" He starts walking on his back as he heads for the door

"And neither do you"

At that moment he sketches a bright smile, it's almost a laugh.

"Oh June," he sighs before opening the door. "I would never cancel you." He finishes by throwing a kiss in the air, keeping the last word once again and disappearing behind the door.

The water in the pot is boiling and grandma cuts vegetables, she is cooking spaghetti and this time at dinner it will only be her and me. The old television in the kitchen is on a cartoon channel, in which I pretend to be very concentrated.

"I can hear you thinking from this side of the room" Her voice fills the silence between us, however, she doesn't turn to look at me, she keeps cooking.

"And what am I thinking, exactly?" I ask distractedly.

"You want to tell me something and you don't know how." She says, I look at her and she also looks at me with raised eyebrows, nodding. She turns again and returns to what she was doing.

"Well, if you make it look like it's a big deal, I'm not going to tell you." I'm kidding but she looks at me annoying.

"June!" Exclaims.

"Lucy!" I play it fun when she starts shaking her head in disapproval. "Okay, but before you start, you must promise not to say anything to Rory." I lean on the kitchen island, ready to start talking, but she looks at me with a frown.

"Why would I tell Rory?" She asks confused.

"Why you should NOT tell Rory is the question."

"Why?" She asks again, more confused than before.

"Promise it first, then you'll know." I anticipate and she sighs, resigned.

"Okay, I promise, June. Now talk." Grandma turns to listen to me and dries her hands with the tips of the apron she is wearing.

"Well, Rory's best friend has invited me out tomorrow night." I announce and she looks at me as if I could explode with happiness, she approaches me quickly ignoring dinner and sits on a stool, putting all her attention on me.

"I knew your brother was going to get you to start going out again, but I didn't expect you to get a date all of the sudden"

"I don't think it's a date, Grandma. But he came to the bakery today to ask me, while you were hiding behind. The party I went with Rory the other night was at his house, and I had a sequence with a girl who likes him. She was jelous of me somehow and treated me like shit." I tell her and she looks at me carefully, with her eyes wide open. "And I've treated him the same way because of it, he came to apologize for something he didn't do. I told him that I was the one who should apologize, but he insisted he wanted to ask me out to reward the bad night."

"Oh honey, he seems so nice."

"Yes he does. But I don't know grandma, he's a little bit problematic. I mean, the first time I met him he had a black eye because he had gotten into a fight" Grandma shakes her head with a smile on his tired face.

"Are you really telling me that a black eye is an excuse, June? The boy has come here to ask you. Besides, when you have not been involved with problematic boys?"

"From today on, maybe?" I joke.

"Oh, shut up June, if the guy is cute and nice with you, you should go out with him. It's simple."

I release a sigh, our eyes remain connected for a few seconds until she imitates me exaggeratedly, releasing a sigh just as long as mine, causing us both to start laughing. After that, she asks me to take the dishes to the dining room, where I know she will bombard me with countless questions about Alex, but for now, the conversation is over.

If I am being honest, it doesn't matter to me that Alex has a black eye and that, from what I had heard from his friends, maybe he is a bit problematic. I don't care that his bruised face was my first impression of him, but I always do that. Like when I was little and I showed Rory a drawing I had made, even though I liked it a lot, I used to say "It's not very good, but what do you think?" I had done that with Alex, "He's a bit problematic, but what do you say?" I seeked someone's approval to stop feeling guilty for not caring about bad things, and tonight, grandma's approval had taken effect.

#alex høgh andersen #alex høgh #alex hoeg andersen #alex hogh andersen #alex hogh #alex høgh andersen fanfiction #alex høgh andersen fan fiction #alex høgh andersen x reader #alex høgh andersen imagine #alex høgh x reader #alex høgh imagine #alex hogh imagine #alex hogh fanfiction #alex hogh x reader