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therainroguefanfiction · 4 years

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🏐 Sparking Eyes; Asahi Azumane (Sportember #003)

📑 Table of Contents | ⚾ Challenge Post

Genre: Angst, School, Romance

Word Count: 2,278

Pairing: Reader x Asahi

World: Haikyuu!!

Prompt: “Promise me you’ll never leave my side. Show me what I can’t see, when the spark in my eyes is gone.”

Sport: Volleyball

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“Are you… sure about this?” Sugawara frowned deeply, scanning your face for any sign of hesitation, but there was none. Your mind had been made up.

Despite the emotions swirling around within him, Daichi’s face remained blank. He wasn’t happy about your decision. How could he be? You were his twin, his other half, and the two of you had been dreaming about going to nationals since you were both small children, but now you were resigning from the volleyball club and for what? A boy. You were choosing a boy over your own flesh and blood. That’s what bothered him the most.

Daichi took the resignation form from you, crumpling it within his fist as he turned on his heel, leaving the room without a word.

You felt guilty, of course, but you had to support the boy you had fallen in love with. You could only hope that he could find it within himself to one day forgive you. You offered Sugawara a sad smile. “I’m sorry, Suga. This is something I have to do.”

He nodded, feeling more sadness than anything else. “I understand. Take care of Asahi, okay?”

“I will, thank you.” And with that, you left the room, sequentially leaving the Karasuno volleyball team behind.

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The final bell chimed throughout the school and you leaned back, stretching your arms above your head. “Today seemed to drag on forever.”

Asahi glanced up from his notes, offering you a soft smile. “You’re looking forward to the weekend, right?”

“Of course!” You turned in your chair to face him, but he had returned his attention to the notebook. To you, Asahi was an open book and you knew he wasn’t looking forward to the weekend because he was under the impression that you would be at practice, so he wouldn’t get to see you. You smiled softly, folding your arms on the back of the chair. “I’m hungry. Let’s go get some ramen, Hi-chan~”

His cheeks bloomed with color at the nickname, despite having heard it so many times before. “You can’t skip practice, Daichi will be upset.”

“I quit the team.”

His brown eyes widened in disbelief. “You… Why would you…”

Standing up, you approached your boyfriend, gently cupping his face with your hands. “That should be obvious, my love. I will always be by your side, supporting you through whatever path your life takes.”

His large hand slipped over your own, eyes turning glassy. “You quit… for me?”

“Mhm, and I’d do it again, a million times over.”

Asashi tried to keep his emotions in check as he stood up, throwing his arms around your body and burying his face in your neck, facial hair tickling your skin. He was positive that he had just fallen in love with you all over again, but he also felt guilty knowing that he most likely ruined the relationship between you and your brother. “Y/N, I don’t want to -”

“Shush, Hi-chan,” you ordered softly as your fingers played with the short hairs at the nape of his neck. “I quit because it’s what I wanted. You mean the world to me, much more than volleyball ever has. Dai will come around, I’m sure, he just needs time to process. Don’t you dare blame yourself for a decision that I made.”

He pulled back so his eyes could meet yours, shimmering with love and adoration. When he spoke, his voice was barely above a whisper, a ghostly touch upon your lips. “You mean so much to me, Y/N.”

You pulled him into a chaste kiss and offered him a smile. “You mean the world to me, too, darling. Now get your stuff, I want ramen!”

He chuckled, pulling away so he could do as you ordered.

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To be honest, you didn’t really believe that the team’s attempts would be enough to convince Asahi to return to the team, though you had to applaud their efforts. You had seen the ace at his best, spiking past the best blockers. He was not only very talented, but he loved the game, as well. After being shut down again and again and again by Date Tech’s iron wall, that spark in his eyes was snuffed out. He took personal responsibility for the loss and what little bit of confidence he had died with it.

Deep down, you wanted the first-years to succeed, to persuade him to give it another try. You knew he missed the game, missed his team, but he was far too stubborn to admit that and he continually got upset when you attempted to talk to him about it. He felt like he was being ganged up on and started to pull back from you, using his college prep as an excuse.

You wanted so desperately to show him how strong, how incredible he truly was, how important he was to the team, but you couldn’t seem to convey these feelings. Especially when he ran away at the mere hint that the conversation was shifting to volleyball. You were honestly at a loss, so you did the only thing you could think of.

Kageyama and Hinata exchanged a look when you approached them outside of the classroom – they had been searching for your boyfriend, only to come up empty. They had seen you with Asahi several times but neither had spoken to you before. Were you going to scold them for messing with the brown-haired third-year?

“I have a request for the two of you,” you spoke softly, eyes shimmering with determination.

Hinata straightened his back, cheeks turning pink. “S-Sure! How can we help, senpai?”

You surprised both of them by bowing at the hip. “Please… please remind Asahi what it’s like to love volleyball!”

Their eyes widened at your pleading tone, not expecting such a thing to be your request. They could sense how desperate and sincere you were and they wanted to help in anyway that they could. It was true that they needed Asahi on the team, but they would also be honoring your request, which they were happy to do.

They copied your stance and chorused, “We’ll do our best, senpai!”

And that was all you could hope for.

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You sat in class, watching as the clouds slowly rolled across the baby blue sky, the sun shining cheerfully upon the earth. If only your current mood reflected the weather.

“Y/N!” One of your classmates, Yuki, approached you with a smile, plopping into the desk in front of your own. “Shouldn’t you be heading to the gym? Volleyball practice started already.”

You smiled at her, thankful that she didn’t notice the sadness lurking just beneath the surface. “I have plans this afternoon, so I can’t go. Actually, I’m going to be late, excuse me.” You glanced at the clock for effect before quickly gathering your things and rushing from the room.

The truth was that you wanted more than anything to be there, cheering for your friends, your boyfriend, your family, but… it felt wrong for you to be there. Ever since you left the club, Daichi had been avoiding you, both at home and at school, but you couldn’t blame him. You knew he felt hurt and wasn’t quite ready to forgive you and that was okay. You didn’t want to push him or invade his space.

You suddenly came to a stop when you heard the familiar thwap of palms slapping against the ball, shoes squeaking across the polished wooden floor. While lost in thought, you hadn’t been paying attention to where you were going and had subconsciously traced the path to the gym, the path that you had taken so many times in the past. For a moment, you just stood there debating on whether you should just walk away, but you ended up approaching the door anyway. It was cracked open, just barely enough for you to see through.

‘Ugh, what am I doing? I must look like such a creep.’ As you pulled away, you caught site of Asahi jumping into the air, spiking the ball past a tall blonde. And then you saw it – that spark that had once fizzled out was now shining brighter than it ever had before. He was playing volleyball again and he was happy. They were all smiling as they received and spiked, yelling to each other. ‘Good job’ if they played their role properly or ‘it’s okay!’ if they made a mistake.

“Ah, Y/N-san!”

You whipped around in surprise as Takeda-sensei approached, carrying a black folder to his chest with one arm.

“Did you come to -” his grin suddenly dropped, replaced with a panicked expression. “W-What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

“What? I’m not -” you lifted your hand to your cheek, feeling moisture on your fingertips. ‘I’m… crying?’

He took you gently by the shoulder. “Are you injured? Sick? I’ll take you to the nurse!”

“No, I’m okay, really!”

“But -”

The door slid open behind you, followed by Daichi questioning what was going on. He was so close to you and yet he felt miles away. Your shoulders shook as you clamped down on your bottom lip in a poor attempt to control your emotions. With a bow and a quick apology to Takeda, you quickly jogged away from them, hoping that they would just leave it at that, but you should have known better.

A warm hand grasped your upper arm softly just as you rounded the corner and you knew who it was simply by how softly his fingers rested upon your skin. He was slightly out of breath from practice and his eyes were filled with worry.

“Y/N, what’s wrong? Did something happen?”

You frantically shook your head, eyes focused on the single ant that was skittering across the pavement between the two of you.

Asahi rested his fingers under your chin, forcing your head up. “Please talk to me, darling.”

The pain in his tone went straight to your heart, more tears threatening to spill over your cheeks. “I’m sorry, I just… I saw you playing and you just looked so happy, I’m so proud of you and I just… I wish I knew how to fix things but I don’t and I -”

His lips silenced your rambling, warm and soft against your own. His forehead rested against yours, his thumb gently wiping away your tears as they fell. “What are you trying to fix?”

You sniffled, hand clutching at his jersey. “Things with Daichi… I thought he just needed time, but… I guess he hates me now.” A humorless laugh bubbled past your lips.

“You really think that?”

Your head snapped to the side, wide eyes locking with Daichi’s, your lip quivering. “What else am I meant to think? You haven’t said a word to me since I left, haven’t even looked at me! It’s like I don’t even exist anymore. I’m sorry, okay? I just… I wanted to support Asahi! I never thought you’d hate me because of it…”

“Idiot!” He snapped, stomping over to you as his aura darkened. Both you and Asahi tensed up, not knowing what the captain was about to do. Daichi’s arms suddenly wrapped around you, bringing you to his chest. His voice was full of emotion. “I could never hate you, idiot. I just… I felt like you were choosing Asahi over me and I got jealous. I was in the wrong, not you, so don’t apologize.”

You gripped onto your twin, having missed his company and the warmth that he provided. “I really missed you, Dai.”

“I missed you, too. I’m sorry for being such a jerk.”

“I’m sorry, too. I didn’t mean to make you feel like I was choosing someone over you. I love Asahi, but you’re my family, I could never replace you.”

“Y-You lo-love me?!” Asahi cried, face turning the same shade as a cherry. Though the two of you had been seeing each other for a while, the word love had never left your lips, a mere thought within your mind, but now it was out in the open, floating around you like a moth to a flame.

You had honestly forgotten that he was there and the realization of what you had just done made your own face burn. Your eyes snapped to your brother, begging for help, but that was definitely not in his job description.

“Sorry, I’ve got to get back back and make sure the kids aren’t burning down the gym. See you at home, Y/N!” Daichi grinned, turning and jogging away. You tried to catch the back of his jersey but you didn’t react quick enough, your hand suspended in mid-air.

With a nervous gulp, you slowly turned toward your boyfriend to gauge his reaction, only to find him clenching his shorts, head lowered as his shoulders shook. “A-Asahi, I -”

“Is it true?” he questioned, voice barely above a whisper as it floated to you on the warm afternoon breeze.

“Yes…” You took a deep breath to calm your nerves. “I’m in love with you, Asahi Azumane!”

His head shot up, tears sliding down his reddened cheeks. In just a single long stride, he was in front of you, pulling you into his arms. How many times had he dreamt of hearing those words from your lips? It was sweeter than he ever imagined it to be. “I love you, too, Y/N! So much!”

Your arms found his waist, hand sliding across his broad back. A smile came to your lips as he repeated the words over and over again into your ear, his lips soft against your jawline.

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nichester · 4 years

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Review: Extraordinary You

Media Type: Korean drama

Genre: Satire, Horror, High school rom com, sageuk (yes it is all of these genres just roll with it)

Summary: A typical high school girl starts experiencing memory loss, and feeling out of control of her actions. As it turns out, she’s not a typical high schooler, but a character in a manhwa--and not even the main character! Will she be able to change the story, or will she be trapped in the role the writer assigned her forever?

Why you might care: You love meta jokes, stories about stories, debating the concept of free will and predestination, and love conquering all

Why you might not care: You like a show to be what it says on the package, and would be disappointed by a high school rom com that took a sharp turn into existential crisis. You’re tortured by ambiguous endings.

Trope Bingo! Reincarnation/past lovers (it counts!), love triangles, love conquers all, high school romance

If you liked ___: If you’ve already watched and loved this show, and are trawling the tag trying to fill the void, I recommend watching the first season (better as a stand-alone season!) of Westworld, another show that tackles these same questions.

~Spoilers and overall thoughts under the cut~

This was by far tumblr’s favorite drama of 2019, and for good reason! I also loved it, and have very few criticisms, as well as some points where I think the drama went above and beyond all my expectations.

Plot: The plot was engaging, high stakes, and excellently paced throughout the whole drama (I felt it sagged a little as it entered the final third, but that resolved again by the end of the show to finish on a really tense pair of episodes!). The writers didn’t sit on new plot developments until they wore them out, but instead kept the drama moving, while still giving the time and space for us to see the characters react to the plot (a crucial element that is often neglected when people try to write a fast-paced story!). The ending left a lot unexplained, but it felt like open-ended questions rather than plot holes, and I have no doubt the writers knew exactly where they were going from the beginning.

Central character(s): Eun Dan Oh is wonderful! Very much the main character, she holds this whole crazy story together with her incredible and varied performance. By turns funny, earnest, frustrated, devastated, optimistic, frightened, and head-over-heels in love, she feels as real as you or me. The actress is charming and charismatic, and I can’t imagine someone watching this drama and not falling in love with her. More importantly, Eun Dan Oh is a central character in the eyes of the plot. She drives the changes in the story, and the other characters revolve around her and her indomitable will. All of them are changed by her, and all of them are better people for it. Her own character arc is more subtle, since she doesn’t really change her opinions or beliefs much from the first few episodes (at least once she becomes aware of her set up). Instead, her journey is about finding the strength and courage to stay true to herself despite the increasingly painful barriers that she encounters on her way to self-actualization. The writers and actress together did a fantastic job with a character who is easily one of the best parts of this drama.

Romance: Here is where I felt the story was the weakest. This is personal taste, since I think it worked very well for most people, but I never fell in love with Haru the way so many other people on tumblr did. (This is NOT to say I thought she should have ended up with Baek Kyung--for obvious reasons that would have been Bad). It’s just that Haru had too little defining his personality and identity outside of Dan Oh for me to latch on to him--I cared about what happened to him exclusively because I loved Dan Oh, and she cared about what happened to him. For a romance to work really well for me, I need both characters to be fully developed people with outside interests and personality, and for a lot of reasons that made sense in-universe, Haru was not. However I was a big fan of the way the romance intersected with the other themes in the story, and I thought the writers did an excellent job integrating it that way.

Side characters/side plots: I loved so many characters in this story, and almost all of them were engaging enough to carry a show on their own! I’ve seen the idea of a second season focused more on some of the other characters, and I would be over the moon about that. Do Hwa, Joo Da, Baek Kyung, and the Dried Squid Fairy had stories that were as poignant and engaging as those of the mains, and they had their own arcs which were executed with skill and grace despite their more limited screen time. One thing I would have liked to see more of would have been interaction between the secondary characters and Eun Dan Oh, which tended to fall away once the romance really got going. It’s a testament to how great the actors were that I missed seeing their friendship so much!

Integration of secondary roles with protagonist’s story: This is a point where I feel that if a drama can’t succeed, it should cut the stories entirely. This show in particular does a really good job making its side plots not only engaging, but crucial to illuminating the themes of the story. Joo Da and Do Hwa’s story contrasts with Eun Dan Ho and Haru’s, and both of them are contrasted with the Dried Squid Fairy, as we see different people react to impossible situations. Their plot lines are carried throughout the whole show, and are concluded in ways that enhance the climax of the protagonist’s story. The drama would feel incomplete without these elements, which is far more than could be said for most drama subplots!

Tone: Now we come to my favorite and most elusive element of a show. If the show doesn’t hit the right notes for me here, I often just can’t love it no matter how good other elements are. On the flip side, I have watched some real messes just because I can’t resist a show with a strong sense of atmosphere and tone (Hong Sisters I’m looking at you)! Here is a place that Extraordinary You faced considerable challenges and pulls it off effortlessly. They needed to balance the light-hearted comedic moments with the darker, genuinely horrifying underbelly of the world they had created. To add even more complexity to the situation, they needed to communicate the different layers of story to the viewers visually and tonally. (One element I’ve commented on which was a real stroke of genius was changing the lighting in the “stage” to be darker and colder than the lighting in the “shadow,” communicating to viewers which type of scene they’re watching, but also conveying the themes of the show by making the scenes where the characters are puppets more tense than the ones where they are free to be themselves.) Simply put, Extraordinary You excels at tone. It is a masterclass in visual direction and balance, and never dropped the ball in this area, no matter how dark the show got.

Theme: A lot has been said and written about Extraordinary You’s themes, so I’m not going to try to cover everything (especially now so long after the show aired!). What I found so impressive about Extraordinary You was the way in which the acting, characters, subplots, and directorial choices served to explore and enrich the themes of identity, memory, and free will that are discussed in such depth and complexity in this show. Importantly (to me) they didn’t end the show on a hopeless note, despite the hopeless situation they had created. None of the issues are handwaved away, but the message that I got was that love was worth the struggle. Even if there’s no guarantee or even possibility of a happy ending, it’s still worth it to try. I love a show about the importance of love, in all its difficulties and complexity. It was clear from the first few episodes that the writers and PD came into this with something to say, and they executed beautifully. If you have any interest in these themes, (and somehow missed this show in all of the overwhelming hype for it) please check this out! You will not be disappointed.

#extraordinary you #reviews #This Show is Top Tier #lol its been months since this show ended but I'm still thinking about it #anyway here's my take on what went into making this show so successful

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lokgifsandmusings · 7 years

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Definitive Ranking of Book 4 Episodes, #1/13

1. 4x02 Korra Alone

Non-linear all around perfect episode that explores Korra’s struggles with PTSD and I can’t even be funny about this. Oh and Toph.

This is a post that’s taken me some time to write, because addressing the perfection of this particular episode is a daunting task. I mean it. It’s not just the best episode of Book 4, it’s the best episode of the franchise. The most daring as well.

For a little bit of context, there’s an incredibly popular episode from Avatar: the Last Airbender called “Zuko Alone.” It picks up after he leaves Iroh in “Avatar Day,” because his uncle kind of pointed out that the hunt for the Avatar might be a tad on the futile side. His brain can’t reconcile this, so the episode instead shows him trying to blindly stick to this task, while feeling as though he has no place in the world, and being rejected by anyone who finds out who he really is. He struggles with inner darkness, inner pain, and the whole time his story is punctuated by flashbacks of his relationship to his sister, his mother’s disappearance, and his father’s ascension to Fire Lord.

I’m not sure I’d call it the high point of ATLA (“Crossroads of Destiny” gets that honor), but it is kind of everything with regards to Zuko, easily one of the strongest characters Bryke have ever written. Also it did a great job of not endorsing his self-destructive tendencies or making excuses for him.

“Korra Alone” was announced (and screened) at the 2014 New York Comic Con, and when Bryke first said the episode title, the audience screamed. Smugly, from the comfort of my couch, I shook my head at the livestream and declared that there was no way this could measure up.

Well, color me dead wrong. I forgot that it was starring Korra, and she not only measures up, she creates a new goddamned reality the world didn’t know it needed.

Just thinking about the episode for first-time viewers, it does exactly what it needs to do. It’s impactful coming off the [mostly] Korra-less “After All These Years” to not just see her, but feel what she’s going through and feel that isolation, even when she’s surrounded by her parents and other loved ones. Though it somewhat takes on the travel+flashbacks format of “Zuko Alone,” even Korra’s present-day plot isn’t strictly sequential—most notably with us learning the real reason she entered the earthbending cage-match, with the flashes moving faster to get her to the swamp. It gives the entire episode a very ungrounded feel, which for the viewer does two things:

You desperately begin to want Korra to connect and be stabilized, because there is an inherent discomfort from the loose form for your brain (not a bad thing...an effective discomfort)

It REALLY gives the impression that time is passing in this episode

The second point is especially striking when you consider the scope. We’ve got in one “plotline” (for lack of a better term): Korra underground fighting, following a ‘dog’, and getting sucked into the swamp where she meets Toph. This alone covers significant ground. Then we have her flashbacks of leaving Republic City, not improving in her home and Senna begging her to go to Katara, Katara’s first healing session, the letters from friends that paint time as passing, Katara’s ‘wiggle your toe’ session, Tenzin visiting, Korra’s narrated letter to Asami while she meditates and trains, her leaving the SWT, her failing to apprehend the thieves, turning from Yue Bay, cutting her hair and donning new clothes, the tree of time scene, then traversing every possible landscape.

HOW WAS THIS ALL IN A 22 MINUTE EPISODE?

Yeah. This is three years, no question about it. It’s visually stunning, but there’s also this extreme sense of loss that the viewer is clued into, and the aimlessness that is heavily felt. Korra’s physical appearance changing was the external manifestation of this, and the symbolism surrounding it was as clear as when Iroh and Zuko did the same nearly 8 years prior. Toph popping out at the end is the one bit of relief, and it *really* shines, especially given her voice actor being perfect and sounding instantly familiar to us (did Philece Sampler just watch hours and hours of Jessie Flower footage or something??).

I can’t see this not landing for someone the first time through, to be perfectly honest. It sets up Korra’s journey for the season, and with her still out of touch from Raava and still away from friends and family, there’s a lot that needs resolving, and that the audience should definitely want to see resolved.

Placing “Korra Alone” in the context of the entire season, and the series at that (or even the franchise) is a different ballgame. Not a worse one, but it certainly means that you can consider this in Korra’s healing arc as a whole.

I’ll fully admit I was not 100% on-board with Dark!Korra being the representation for PTSD at first, even though this is, at the end of the day, a Y7 show that needs to break down these concepts to children. However, it worked within this episode, and given how the whole thing was resolved through mindful meditation (plus how the little bit of metal Korra extracted didn’t end up being a cure-all), I think it justified itself in a general sense.

In the case of “Korra Alone” alone (lol), it worked in a sort of 3rd person omniscient way, to quickly convey Korra reliving this moment and having a ton of anxiety each time it occurred. What had the potential for being a bit of a cheap visual metaphor instead mostly landed, giving us a kind of visceral understanding of that anxiety (and as someone who’s had to explain what that feels like to people who’ve never experienced it, that’s really no easy task).

When it comes to Korra’s healing arc as a whole, I’m going to have to be an asshole and tell you that Gretchen ( @theonewithpurplehair ) and I are planning on writing something about it when she gets back from South Africa. It will be lengthy and emotional and talk about THEMES and how important this is. We do that.

But even in advance of it, I think there’s a point to be made about Bryke choosing to have a healing arc in the first place. They didn’t have to, you know. And for some, especially in light of the indelicately worded “I needed to suffer” quote from the final episode, having two white men use a bisexual indigenous woman to explore a story about recovering from extensive trauma is uncomfortable, which is absolutely a valid tension.

However, something I think @glamourweaver highlighted best back when fandom dialogue was more...heightened, was that like it or not, Korra’s gone through major traumas throughout the show. In Book 1, she lost most of her bending and was so affected there was not-subtle-at-all suicide imagery included. Then Aang’s magic touch fixed her depression! Yay!

In Book 2, she had Raava ripped out of her and lost her (admittedly newfound) connection to her past lives, calling into question her very identity as the Avatar. The whole astral-projection thing she did? That was just Korra’s strength of soul, separate from anything to do with reincarnated powers. So yeah, reconnecting with Raava and becoming the first Avatar of a new spiritual age would totally be healing, but the idea that there’s no trauma she’d need to explore? Book 3 is near and dear to me, but in many ways it almost feels like a new show, complete with not bothering to tap into implications of the first 2 seasons. Whoops!

It’s yeah, not great how much she was put through the wringer when you get down to it. But Bryke are conscientious and tend to fix their mistakes. In a lot of ways, Korra being given PTSD—like...realistic PTSD—and an ensuing healing arc in Book 4 was the direct answer to everything previously glossed over.

The result? To that, I’ll just go ahead and quote @beccatoria’s essay (seriously, read it), because it lays out the meaning so well:

“This brings us to the final part of my argument: forming new meanings. The therapies I have mentioned so far focus on the physiological issues. The brain blows a fuse and can't process what it has experienced, so if you fix the fuse, you fix the processing problem. This still leaves a person who has been through an extremely traumatic event. PTSD almost always presents alongside issues such as depression and can lead to feelings of isolation and guilt. Individuals may either feel emotionally disconnected or emotionally out of control and have often internalised damaging messages as a result of their trauma. There is often a focus on creating new meanings as these memories are re-examined. We see this in Korra's evolving attitude to her own experiences.

Zaheer asserts that her power is limitless. She should never have been able to survive the poison. He offers her an opportunity to recontextualise her survival as evidence of her enormous resilience and strength rather than as a failure because she did not survive unscathed. While she is recovering, Katara tells her about Aang and how he chose to find meaning in his suffering. “What will I find?” Korra wonders. “Won't it be interesting to find out?” Katara asks. The answer comes in her final conversation with Tenzin. Korra chooses to form new meanings for her experiences, and chooses to find a message of compassion and empathy.”

Yes, the landing was not 100% perfect, but the recontextualization of her suffering and subsequent empowerment through that was clear. Korra ended the series hopeful about the future, and more at peace than we had seen her—certainly more at peace than that flailing teenager who was more willing to demand a duel with Amon than admit fear. She had grown and found ways to reconcile what happened into how she wanted to lead her life.

Do you mind if I get personal for three seconds? I have general anxiety, as well as a very specific (and admittedly mild) trauma associated with driving, and though I’ll never equate my experience to Korra’s brutalization (seriously, mine just involves a hangover, a large cup of coffee, pizza, and a bridge), there is something about that terror of being out-of-control I identify with, and it features so strongly in Korra’s arc. I also know what it’s like to want to will something away and fight against everything that’s happening. Why can’t my stupid brain just STOP?

But the thing is, like beccatoria said, it’s about contextualizing it. Anxiety never goes away, and it certainly can’t be willed out of the forefront. But you can choose to look at things with a new point of view. To be able to sit with a feeling and recognize what it is, even if it’s massively uncomfortable or puts your body in flight-or-fright mode. Personally, I’ve come to look at my anxiety/intrusive thoughts as a very badly behaved cat. The cat is weirdly trying to protect me, and truly thinks this is what will help keep me safe, but well...it’s an idiot:

Still, it’s *my* idiot, damnit, and now when I drive, I can just picture her in the passenger seat chewing on the emergency brake. She’s also the survival mechanism my brain came up with to shield me from more chaotic forces in my life, and that’s kind of neato, when you get down to it.

*Kind of*, okay? (I still need to replace this chair, though Trystane Nymeros has done more damage to it with his many toes).

The point is, Korra’s story is powerful and salubrious because she just...goes through hell and back, she really does. But she not only finds meaning in it, she finds positivity and hope. She is at her MOST secure when she flings herself in front of that spirit gun, and then talks down the season antagonist with a few words. It’s uplifting, without pulling *any* punches on how ugly and terrifying and isolating PTSD can be.

There were punches thrown outside of “Korra Alone” too, but that was the episode that waded in most deeply, and somehow did it in an appropriate fashion for a Y7 show. I can’t sing its praises enough, truly.

Having laid this all out, it seems almost trite to mention the Korrasami aspects of the episode. It didn’t escape the fandom that Korra telling Tonraq and Senna she wanted to go back home read like a coming out conversation, and the “Dear Asami” sequence is without question the most stunning of the episode. Though @queertoonqueertoons lays out why there’s other reasons for that as well. But like, what can be said? Korra lets herself be vulnerable around Asami in a way she won’t with others, and Asami asks for very little in return. It was a nice, continuing thread, but it never became a focal point of the episode, or the series, so shame on me if I buck the trend.

I can give overall thoughts on Book 4 when I pull together the final post for this ranking, but like Korra, I think I’m ending on a pensive and positive note. “Korra Alone” will do that for you, even though it may be the darkest episode of the franchise. What a masterpiece.

#13: 4x08 “Remembrances”

#12: 4x11 “Kuvira’s Gambit”

#11: 4x09 “Beyond the Wilds”

#10: 4x07 “Reunion”

#9: 4x06 The “Battle of Zaofu”

#8. 4x12 “Day of Colossus”

#7 4x01 “After All These Years”

#6 4x03 “The Coronation”

#5 4x04 “The Calling”

#4 4x05 “Enemy at the Gates”

#3 4x10 “Operation Beifong”

#2 4x13 “The Last Stand”

Book 2 ranking/essays found here

#korra #lok #lok meta #korra alone #book 4 ranking #meta #korra 4x02

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him-e · 7 years

Note

I liked your review on Sophie/Sansa, I think that Sophie is a gorgeous Sansa and a talented actress, I hope she will have a good career. Now the small question, what is your opinion on the performance Sophie and Kit in season 6?

Their interactions specifically?

I think Sophie and Kit were excited to have so many important scenes together in season 6, had been waiting for this for a long time, they’re clearly good friends irl, and all of this transpired from their onscreen interactions. At the same time, they were instructed to play two estranged half siblings who finally connect with each other, not without difficulty, after years of pain, terrible losses and intense trauma, and they do because they literally have no other choice but each other (Jon is Sansa’s last hope, and Sansa gives Jon a new purpose after he lost all sense of belonging in the NW). All these different factors resulted in a complex and unpredictable dynamic, the icing on the cake being the natural chemistry Kit and Sophie have.

Let’s start with their reunion scene. A lot has been written about it, about the way both actors played it as a crescendo from anticipation, to recognition, to the final explosive momentum of the physical embrace. I like how both actors’ performances convey an almost dreamlike sense of disbelief in seeing the other, almost if the characters were not sure if this was real or not. For Jon, Sansa’s arrival was an absolute shock that he wasn’t prepared for, and Kit plays it beautifully. Note how he exhales and draws back for a second as soon as he recognizes her face, as if he needs a moment to truly absorb this information and isn’t really sure what to do, and then proceeds to collect himself and climb the stairs, slowly but deliberately, towards her:

I really love the cinematic crescendo of the camera following Kit steps just as Sansa’s gaze does, while Sophie stands still, waiting, holding her breath:

(gifs by cerseilannister)

Sophie plays Sansa as visibly distraught on top of physically and mentally exhausted: her face (and hair) is a mess, she’s holding back a variety of emotions from anticipation to childlike vulnerability to fear (fear that this moment isn’t real, fear that someone will come and destroy everything, maybe fear of Jon’s rejection, because she honestly has no idea if he’s going to take her in or not—note the quick blinking and the nervous hand wringing, that Sophie routinely uses to convey Sansa’s anxiety).

another fantastic acting detail is Kit watching Sophie with his head slightly tilted as he’s studying her face and isn’t really sure if he should trust his own eyes and he’s probably thinking you look like a girl I used to know a lifetime ago, my lady

(gif by cerseilannister)

again, he draws back a bit before Sansa throws herself in his arms. It’s a matter of split seconds, but it’s actually Sansa who makes the first move. He reacts immediately though, instinctively. The whole scene was very, very carefully staged, otherwise you wouldn’t get this level of synchronicity.

Both actors use sharp, deep breathing to underscore the building tension and the swelling emotion. It’s actually a major defining element in their scenes together—like it happens A LOT—and I think it’s very interesting. People picked romantic vibes in their interactions because of stuff like this:

I mean what the fuck:

(gifs by harleygrenade)

why did they play it like this? couldn’t they just have a regular sibling fight?

Now, I don’t think Sophie and Kit were playing romance, no. I think they were instructed to play their scenes as two people who clearly want to see each other as family, and are desperate to connect, but are also complete strangers, fighting a war they’re already losing, fighting for a brother they’ll most likely never see alive again, fighting for their own lives, and not knowing if they can fully trust each other. There’s tension in their scenes because there is tension in their lives at this point—they’re in a dangerous, potentially lethal situation. But this translates, as I said earlier, in a deliciously vibrant, nuanced dynamic, fraught with affection but also building anxiety, lack of familiarity and some simmering, unresolved grudges.

Some viewers complained that their scenes, especially in Book of the Stranger (huh, now I see how fitting that title is), were too affectionate for two half siblings who spent their lives in Winterfell carefully avoiding each other. The reunion scene with the hug was perceived as “too much”, and the following one, with all that playful teasing and remembering Winterfell togetherand sharing beers, made some people actually scream OOC. To be fair, in THAT scene, you can clearly see the real Sophie and Kit slip out of character and into their real selves in a few brief moments:

(gifs by thatonekimgirl)

However, I don’t think this was a mistake. It MIGHT be! (as I said, Sophie and Kit are very comfortable around each other, and this was certainly a funny scene to play, and it’s not impossible that they went slightly off script.) But I think they were given specific directing instructions to play it as “natural” as possible so that the audience could be sucked in this intimate, familiar moment of catching up between two siblings, and believe that they’ve known each other since birth even though we never saw them interacting onscreen before. It was also a much needed moment of genuine levity, of healing, after the horrors of Sansa’s abuse and Jon’s revenant storyline, and before the hardships of the upcoming war for Winterfell.

Interacting with Jon also allowed Sophie to finally play her smug angle:

(gifs by davis-viola and sansastlark)

We’ve never seen this expression on Sophie’s face in the show. This is Sansa, finally able to focus on what she wants and to freely express her opinion, because she knows she’s safe, she’s around Jon who has her back. Brienne, Theon, Tyrion, Sandor, all helped her, but they weren’t family; Jon is.

Interestingly, being able to focus on what she wants for once results in Sansa deciding she’s going to play a game without letting anyone in—not even Jon.

Like I said, it’s a very nuanced dynamic between them. The angle that Sophie is playing is that Sansa hasn’t been able to fully trust anyone for so long that she feels she has to guard herself even from Jon, because that’s how you play the game—you keep your cards to yourself, trust nobody, and care only for yourself. This is Littlefinger’s lesson: people are either pawns or players, and I think Sansa gave a quick look at Jon and decided he’s a pawn for now, as he lacks the acumen and the charisma to be a player (or so she thinks; by the end of season 6, she has to reassess her strategy, because Jon is absolutely a Player—even if he doesn’t know it yet).

(another moment of lowkey Smugface by Sophie, gif courtesy of bericdondarrion)

It’s unusual to see Sansa like this and people were a bit disoriented by how quickly she went from vulnerable little bird in search of her big bro’s protection to boss ass bitch looking almost too… ambitious? Cunning? Treacherous, even? (see also the controversy arisen by the Look she gives to Littlefinger when Jon is proclaimed KitN). I talked in the other post about Sophie’s sympathy for the Dark Side, but I think there are precise directing and writing choices behind her acting.

Whatever it is—and rest assured it’s now an important aspect to the character, something we’re going to see more of in season 7—it coexists*** with the Sansa who desperately tries to convince Jon to hold back until they have more men, the Sansa who spends hours to make a Ned-cloak for him, the Sansa who has tears in her eyes when she declares he’s a Stark to her, and who looks like this:

(by gifsofgot)

when Jon kisses her forehead.

*** incredible how (female) characters can have more than one (1) note, emotion or personality trait, right?

SPEAKING OF THE FOREHEAD KISS, there would be a lot to say about Kit’s acting choices, because they’re a major factor in how ridiculously shippy their interactions came across.

Most of the time, Kit plays Jon as if he’s somewhat lost around Sansa—lost in trying to understand who she is, slightly nervous and upset by her presence, stealing glances at her while she’s not looking or busy doing something else. This is definitely consistent with the idea that Jon isn’t very comfortable with Sansa due to their lack of familiarity, Sansa’s resemblance to Catelyn, and her own history of looking down on him for his bastardy. It’s clear that, despite their promises in 6x04, neither has fully moved past this huge roadblock in their relationship. It’s also in line with Jon not being exactly used to familiarize with women and being a grumpy goofball around them.

The forehead kiss, however, remains inexcusable and inexplicable, lol.

Really, Kit, did you HAVE to plant an INTERMINABLE kiss on Sophie’s forehead, eyes closed as if you’re both savoring the moment and being consumed by some heart wrenching emotion?

It’s not like you had to take a good look at her lips while you reluctantly withdraw from her, either.

(by gifsofgot)

IN CONCLUSION:

Kit and Sophie did their job so well that an alarming number of viewers started to suspect there was something “more” going on between Jon and Sansa. In fact, there is something more: the growing political tension between them, overlapping with their newfound, frail sibling bond (soon to be tested by Jon’s parentage reveal). So when people perceive “tension”, it’s probably THAT kind of tension.

however, for the audience, it’s incredibly easy to forget that Jon and Sansa are supposed to be siblings, as they’re played by two insanely good looking actors, who’ve never interacted on screen before, and who really don’t look like they share any genes… at all. Kit could have chemistry with a broomstick as far as I’m concerned, and watching him bat his long eyelashes at Sansa while holding his breath did not help. As for Sophie, this is the first important series of interactions she gets to have with a male lead who isn’t a) significantly older than her; b) a creep; c) gay, so do the maths.

I don’t know if the showrunners were familiar with the fandom concept of jonsa, but even if they weren’t, they should have probably imagined how certain scenes would look in a series that became famous for its iconic twincest, no less. People tend to pick up incestuous vibes more easily, if the narrative has already proved to be able to go in that direction. And Game of Thrones definitely has.

whatever the authorial intent is, as far as I’m concerned I’m enjoying the fuck out of this. Sophie and Kit are absolutely magnetic when they’re on screen together, regardless the nature of their canon dynamic.

#sorry this is incredibly late but it got buried under a ton of drafts and I kept forgetting to post it #got for ts #anon #asks #got asks for ts #js**#got6 #jon and sansa #jon x sansa for ts

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karabites · 7 years

Text

so like. have y’all seen this picture? bc I wrote a fic kind of based off of it (unfortunately I’m not ok with writing smut yet so not the happiest end possible for Chibita. he’s ok tho)

At the Whims of Fate (ao3)

Karamatsu sends Chibita a dick pic on accident. What happens next will warm your heart.

Oh. Of course. Karamatsu stared at his phone in disbelief. Then anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. Fate never seemed to smile on him for more than a minute and today was no exception. Today, Fate had brought him a text from that lovely woman he met the other day. She’d seemed down on her luck, a little ragged, very tired, but she had a sense of humor about it. The spring air was cool and delicious, gracing them with the sensual aroma of blooming flowers, though that may have just been her enchanting perfume. Her makeup was delicate and soft on her face, though it had been scraped rough by exhaustion and stress, and at the moment she’d dropped that beautifully crafted pastry on the dusty city sidewalk, desperation and loss carved their way into her dainty features as well. As a true gentleman meets a damsel, Karamatsu couldn’t help but offer her his services, console the sweet thing and walk her to the nearest confectionary shop to gift her with a fresh treat, warm and, as he had said with a flourish and a deep, smooth bravado, “as sweet as her smile.”

She’d laughed at that, and a lot of other things he’d said, and thanked him and sat with him to talk for a while. The warm light of the sun had filtered in the shop like a godly curtain to grace the curves of her face, illuminating her as the true goddess she was. Ah, it truly was beautiful. Fate must have been in a particularly good mood for him to make acquaintance with such a beautiful creature. And its mood must have persisted as she exchanged phone numbers with him and waved him off with a smile, then dropped dramatically when he got home and found all the strings on his guitar had been snipped.

But then! Then today his good fortune had returned with her message! Oh, glorious Fate! Blessing him again with her correspondence, with the chance to speak with this angel among men again! And the conversation was going so smoothly, so destined was their connection, that he knew it was time for the next step. A gift to her to show not only his appreciation for her, but his commitment, his virility! He snuck into the bathroom and snapped some flattering dick pics. Artful, of course. He’d taken many pictures of his endowment and he knew his best angles. How to suck in his stomach to show a more chiseled physique, how to pose his hand like it was slipping down his happy trail to touch himself, how to angle the camera dramatically to make it look just ever so bigger. Karamatsu Matsuno was a master of seduction.

But there was one problem. Fate was a fickle goddess and it seemed her mood had taken a sudden and extreme downturn the moment before he pressed “send.” Because at the same time that he was texting his newly met muse, he’d been texting, with equal excitement, his long-familiar companion about what a dramatic episode last night’s The Bachelorette was. In his excitement, he’d replied to the last text he’d gotten, which happened to be “I fuckign KNEW she was gonna boot him off tho. if she listened to you shed b stuck with losers. ya got no taste.” So, without thinking, he sent his incredibly seductive and well thought-out photograph to Chibita.

Maybe Fate felt she had been slighted by him personally, because he’d sent the message “like what you see? B)” along with it before he’d realized his mistake and now, if he was being perfectly honest, he wished a divine power would kill him right then and there. Shit. Karamatsu stared at his phone in his hands, a weapon more powerful than any rifle, an inconspicuous object capable of destroying lives, of destroying dignity. He watched as those three torturous dots appeared on Chibita’s side of the conversation and held his breath for the impending less-than-friendly insults. Depending on how Chibita took it, maybe he could play it off as friendly banter? Maybe a “at least if I was a contestant, I know who she’d pick (me)”? No, that didn’t seem right. Maybe--.

The dots disappeared. He waited but they didn’t return. He didn’t really feel like sending his masterpiece to his female friend after that, so he just texted her back “I am more of a cat person, actually, but I like dogs too.”

It was late when his phone buzzed again. He’d ended his conversation with his new lady friend an hour or so ago, and he’d been quietly playing his re-stringed guitar up on the roof, pretending that nothing had gone wrong that day and maybe he was dead. The cool evening air flowed around him gently, the stream of life carrying him along through this dark hour, with the fuzzy glow of city lights illuminating the path. Though, his metaphorical path was only lit by the harsh blue light of his phone screen at the notification from Chibita. He stared at his phone until the screen blacked out again, rolling over in his mind just how ruined his steadily developing friendship with Chibita was. After a minute or so of fatalistic musings, he sighed to the wind (possibly his only remaining companion after this) and opened up the notification.

“closing the cart. meet me in 10.”

Oh. So no text-based berating. That could either be very good or very bad. Very good because it would give him a chance to use his finely-trained body language to help convey just how much of a terrible accident this was and please pretend you didn’t see that Chibita. Very bad for of course, very obvious reasons. Odd though, that he’d need to meet in person just to clear up a misunderstanding, or to poke fun at him for it (which was more likely). But then again, Chibita was a very odd guy. He was learning this more and more as he got to know him.

Karamatsu sighed and stood carefully, preparing himself to face the metaphorical music. If he was a Shakespearean character he knew he would’ve taken this opportunity to take his own life over the inconvenience, but though he was committed to the theatric arts, he also was committed to not having his family find out he died because he sent his childhood friend a picture of his penis. So he shot him a text back, “At the cart or your apartment?” before clambering down from the roof and readying himself to go.

The text came back worryingly fast. “apt. taking the cart home”

He let out some tension in his shoulders. So it would be just a friendly reprimand then. Perhaps Chibita had grown weary of the trials and tribulations of texting and mis-texting and accidentally getting dick pics sent to him and was opting to speak with Karamatsu face to face. He imagined he’d have other things to chat about as well, maybe a new recipe he was excited about or a particularly difficult customer (Iyami) or a particularly obnoxious customer (Osomatsu). He’d probably offer to share some beers and laugh about the whole debacle and watch some terrible low-budget movie with him for laughs. Yes, things would probably be okay. So with renewed confidence and calm, Karamatsu strolled through the night to Chibita’s apartment.

Karamatsu only realized this might not be the best time to be leaning coolly against the doorframe like he normally did about two seconds before Chibita opened the door. Consequently, he was in the middle of readjusting his pose when the door opened and a very confused and uncertain Chibita stared out at him. He’d resorted to leaning back with his hands on his hips, staring into the night mysteriously, as if Chibita hadn’t seen him frantically pulling himself into that very pose.

“Heh! An enchanting night tonight, is it not?”

Chibita peered around him disbelievingly. “Uhh sure. C’mon in, Karaboy. It’s cold out in all that enchanting-ness,” he said. He moved to hold the door open for him and Karamatsu strolled in.

“Go ahead and make yourself comfortable. Uh, in the living room.”

Karamatsu nodded stiffly and tried to pretend he didn’t see how uncomfortable Chibita looked, shifting on his feet and looking away from him as much as possible. Not on purpose he failed to acknowledge Chibita mumbling something like “jacket looks real good on you,” as he walked by, barely registering that he said it until he was already sitting on the couch.

Chibita followed him in, stopping just next to the arm of the couch. He’d changed out of his work clothes into some more casual clothes, slightly damp from what Karamatsu presumed was a hasty post-work shower. That was… a little odd. Usually Chibita would wave off any complaints Karamatsu had about how gross he got from working over the boilers all night and tell him he wasn’t allowed to complain until he got a goddamn job himself. He wasn’t about to start complaining about him cleaning up, then. Maybe he’d had a change of heart about what Karamatsu had told him in response, that proper hygiene was an invaluable part of caring for the vessel for his precious soul. Probably not.

Chibita coughed into his fist and gave Karamatsu a sideways glance. “So. I guess you know why I asked you to come over.”

Karamatsu nodded, feeling his ears redden. He was glad he left his sunglasses on, no matter how hard it made it for him to see. He could still see well enough to see Chibita nod in kind, though. He could see his cheeks darken and the way he was twisting his fingers in nervousness. Oh, he really was an unforgiveable soul if he made his friend this uncomfortable. Curse his immense charm and charisma and incredibly sexy body! If he had none of those, he surely wouldn’t be in this predicament, confusing and upsetting his socially awkward and very dear friend. So absorbed was he in his thoughts of woe and self-depreciation that he missed seeing Chibita move and suddenly he was sitting next to him, very close.

Karamatsu adjusted his sunglasses and looked down and away. He could feel Chibita pressing against his side, pressuring him to admit to his grievous faux pas. He cleared his throat. “I-I must apologize, Chibita. Though I’m certain the image will be forever burned in your mind, I had no intent of sending such a salacious message to you.”

He felt Chibita stiffen and still next to him. “You what?”

Something in the tone of his voice was unexpected, and it struck Karamatsu as a very peculiar reaction. He didn’t sound like he had misunderstood him, more that he hadn’t been expecting Karamatsu to say that. He pulled his glasses off (less dramatically than he was wont to, though surely with just as dramatic an effect) and looked over at him. Chibita was incredibly close, his body pressed flush to Karamatsu’s side and his hand hovering barely a centimeter above Karamatsu’s thigh. His face was very, very red. Like a beet, but with eyes that were very, very wide.

“It was… an accident?” Chibita’s voice was tight and squeaked as he seemed to force the words out.

Oh. Oh my god.

Karamatsu felt himself mimic Chibita’s expression of shock and launched himself backwards across the couch. He scrambled to sit upright. “O-of course it was an accident! Chibita!” In his panic, the bravado dropped from his voice and his voice cracked through almost every syllable. “What were you going to do?”

Chibita straightened back on his heels and held his hands down in his lap, holding his back stiff as a board. He swallowed and steadied his voice. “Suck your dick.”

Karamatsu’s voice was not steady. “Suck my dick?! Chibita!”

“Well what else was I supposed to do?” he huffed as he crossed his arms and his face somehow got even redder. “I mean you send me something like that when I’m at work and can’t really use it and ya expect me to just—just what, think you don’t want me to do anything like that?”

“Yes!” Karamatsu nodded wildly. “Yes, exactly! Chibita, I expected you to think it was a mistake! You’re very dear to me but—.“ A thought occurred to him and he paused, narrowing his eyes in thought. “Did you… did you say ‘can’t use i—‘… Chibita were you going to jack off to my text?!”

Chibita hugged his arms tighter around himself and looked off to the side. Karamatsu could see his fingers digging in to his arms. “Well…” Oh my god. “I mean, it was a good picture…“

“CHIBITA!”

“Well!” He unwrapped his arms and stood up in his place on the couch, seeming to puff himself up. “You’re the one that sent me that-that picture! A-and the message too! You shouldn’t send people that stuff if you ain’t gonna follow through!”

“Chibita, I only did so on accident! Listen!” Karamatsu pushed himself back a bit and stood beside the couch, now eye-level with the most dangerous and now personally wronged creature he had ever met. He hoped slowing down and dropping his voice again might help tame the tempest of a man before him. “I intended that message for a young woman I met the other day, and only by an unfortunate mistake sent it to you instead. I-I’m dearly sorry to have caused you such embarrassment, but—Chibita we were talking about The Bachelorette, why would I send you something like that on purpose?”

As he spoke, Chibita seemed to lose a lot of his fire and his shoulders began to sag. The embarrassment and indignation in his eyes was replaced with dawning realization, with an unwelcomed truth that softened and exhausted his eyes. His voice was softer and a bit raw when he spoke, “Well I—I said you had no taste and you asked me if I liked what you sent, so I thought you were maybe…” He licked his lips and cleared his throat. “Did you say… you were trying to send that to a girl?”

Karamatsu relaxed a bit and leaned back. He nodded and hummed in affirmation. The awkward quiet in the room felt incredibly heavy and thick, and Karamatsu thought if he were to try to move, it would be like through honey.

Chibita sighed, looking down, and hopped off of the couch. “Alright. Well, um,” he scratched the back of his head and grimaced. “Sorry, I guess. You can go. If that was too weird, uh, you don’t gotta talk to me anymore or, uh—“

Karamatsu suddenly sunk down to his knees before him. “Chibita, no!” He clasped his friend’s hands in his own, earning a very bewildered face from Chibita as he snapped his head back around to look at him. “Chibita! My sole companion on this twisted road of treachery we call life! My dear friend and trusted confidant! My occasional mentor in the culinary arts! I could never abandon you over such a misunderstanding. Even if you completely misunderstood my intentions and interpreted my overtures as sexual, you are still very dear to my heart.” He dropped his voice a bit lower to heighten the drama and sincerity of his performance. “My heartfelt bond to you could never be broken over something so trivial.” He considered kissing his hand, but thought better of it so as not to confuse his message.

Chibita looked… well, if he was anyone else, Karamatsu might say he looked close to tears. But the emotional boy he’d once been had grown into a much more reserved man than Karamatsu had and whatever he looked to be holding back behind his watery eyes and his lip reddened from chewing, it was almost certainly not tears. Chibita cleared his throat and choked out, “You mean that?”

Ah. So maybe it was tears.

Karamatsu nodded emphatically and looked into his eyes intensely. “Of course! Also! Did you say my picture was good!”

Chibita snorted and looked away, pulling a hand away reflexively to scrub away some errant tears. “Yeah, it was pretty good,” he laughed. “It was real hot, actually.”

“Thank you Chibita!” He earned another snort of laughter from Chibita, who pulled his other hand away and motioned for him to stand. Chibita walked him to the door and leaned against the wall as Karamatsu slipped his boots and his sunglasses back on. He supposed this encounter would sting for Chibita for a while, but at least there wouldn’t be any lasting consequences for either of them. Ah, unless—

“Actually, Chibita, before I go,” Karamatsu began, turning to him with his hand on the doorknob. “Would you… care to critique my work in the future?”

Chibita’s fond smile that he’d been wearing twisted into a confused scowl. “What? Small words, Karamatsu.”

He took a breath, pushing himself to stand a bit straighter in the face of a proposition surely almost as risky as Chibita’s had been. “Can I send you more pictures? F-for artistic comment on my technique.”

Chibita’s eyebrows shot up and his cheeks began to heat again. “Really? You heard the part about thinking it was hot, right? Not talking about art sexy, like actual sexy?”

Karamatsu coughed and looked off mysteriously into the distance (at the wall). “Art can serve a purpose and a critique on the fulfillment of its purpose is a perfectly valid critique of the art.”

“Karamatsu I wanted to masturbate to your fucking nudes.”

“Th-the highest compliment I could receive.”

Though he couldn’t see Chibita’s face, he could hear him humming indecisively as he thought it over. Finally, “You sure?”

“Of course. I could trust no one else to have such a discerning eye,” he said.

“Then hell yeah!” He thumped his fist against the wall. “Go right ahead! Whenever you want, Karaboy!”

Karamatsu smiled and cleared his throat. “Thank you, my dear, dear friend.” With a wave, he stepped outside and began his victorious walk home. Perhaps it wasn’t the best outcome, but a valuable one nonetheless! At the very least it gave him all the more reason to look at himself naked. It wasn’t until about halfway home that he realized he’d walked away from his first realistic opportunity to lose his virginity.

Shit. Well, maybe Chibita could help him choose a good picture to send to that girl from before. That would be just as sure to get him laid as any friendly blowjob!

#couch art #fanfic #karabita #nsfbita #kinda ?? theres a dick pic involved #chibita #karamatsu #Unfortunately unrequited #osomatsu san

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