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ssreeder · 1 year

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welcome to leekie’s baking exploits, where leekie attempts recipes she doesn’t read all the way through and realises she doesn’t know wtf she’s doing when she’s already in the middle and it’s too late to back out :)

okay so basically I decided against making an “easter log” bc the reality is that my sister will eat like one (1) slice and then I’ll be stuck with an entire cake by myself and then it’ll just get old and stale and Nobody Wants That, so instead I was like oh I’ll make pear sorbet that should be easy.

(famous last words fr)

have I ever made pear sorbet before?? no. have I ever made SORBET before?? no. did I consider that maybe I should do some fucking Research beforehand?? haha what do you take me for

ANYWAYS so I buy the pears and whatever else I need, and I’m like okay time to make some sorbet !! and I start peeling the pears and that’s all fine unTIL I realise oh shit we got rid of our apple/pear/whatever-else-fruit corer BUT I TELL MYSELF oh it’s fine I’ll just use a knife… idk if you know this but pears are actually really slippery once they’ve been peeled?? which means they like to slide out of your hand while your sticking a knife into them and then when the knife gets stuck in the pear it’s very difficult to get out bc you can’t actually get a proper grip on the pear to pull it out and so you can’t regulate how much strength you have to use aND THEN YOU USE TOO MUCH STRENGTH AND THE KNIFE *schicks* OUT SO FAST YOU ACCIDENTALLY STAB IT BACK THE OTHER WAY WHEN YOU RECOIL AND NEARLY END UP BLEEDING TO DEATH OUT OF YOUR THUMB but luckily your reflexes are impeccable and so you avoid certain death with your only takeaway from the experience being well that was almost traumatic :D

and then you go through that process 3 more times bc you need 4 pears for this recipe and then you realise uhhh now I’ve gotta sous vide these pears which you have never done before so Obviously you don’t have a sous vide machine. So naturally,, you then google how to sous vide without a sous vide machine, and google tells you that if you use the wrong type of plastic bag then you might end up giving yourself cancer bc the plastic will release toxins when heated and you don’t know if you have the non toxic kind of plastic but they’re the only plastic bags you have on hand so you’re gonna have to risk it babyyy

BUT THEN the bags you have are Small and you can’t get all the air out of them to vacuum seal them AND THE POT YOU’RE USING IS SMALL TOO SO YOU HAVE TO SPLIT THE PEARS INTO TWO BATCHES AND GO THROUGH THE WHOLE SOUS VIDE PROCESS TWICE which takes you an hour but at least it’s just Waiting and not fighting demons like the first hour of this adventure

ALAS I WAS STILL STUCK IN MY WOEFUL ERA AFTER THAT bc I had to Strain the mushy blended up pears through a sieve. which doesn’t sound awful. but it is. BC THAT TOOK ME ANOTHER WHOLE HOUR BC THE PEARS WERE TOO GODDAMN THICK TO GO THROUGH THE SIEVE WITHOUT HELP (which is the whole point of straining but stfu nobody asked) AND I HAD TO MASH THE PEARS DOWN and my arms literally felt like they were gonna fall off idk if I’ll ever recover honestly

anyway FINALLY I put that away after I engaged in battle with the freezer to make enough space for my pears and then I check the recipe… and the pears have to freeze overnight. Which means. I don’t even get to enjoy the product of this ordeal on the same day as a reward and instead it was just Suffering (really resonated with jesus this good friday)

so bc I want Something to reward myself I’m like okay time to make panacotta,, which I also have never made before but fortunately!!! is not very hard. HOWEVER. panacotta also has to chill in the fridge for 4 hours. so I still had no instant gratification.

nevertheless I persevered, and at 9pm my panacotta was just barely chilled enough and so I ate that :)

panacotta review: good but honestly too sweet bc this was a butterscotch flavoured one and I forgot how sweet butterscotch was so I didn’t think to adjust any of the ratios

MOVING ON the next morning I’m eating brekkie and I’m like oh might as well finish up my sorbet bC AFTER ALL THAT IT STILL WASN’T DONE so I get my massive hunk of frozen pears out of the freezer and then I realise, I’m supposed to blend this shit. and it’s too big to fit in the blender as is. so I’ve gotta chop it into smaller chunks.

anyway long story short I almost died again bc my fingers went numb bc the pears were FROZEN and so obviously I couldn’t feel them and I nearly sliced myself open with the knife I was using to finagle the pear slab into manageable pieces for the blender bc surprise surprise, the frozen pears did not want to be cut. BUT I DIDN’T DIE!! so I got them all crushed and blended and whipped and then popped the sorbet back in the freezer !! IN ITS FINAL FORM !! which means I don’t have to touch it again until I’m eating it :D

pear sorbet review: i am SO MAD bc the pear sorbet is really fucking good which means I have absolutely not learnt my lesson and I Will be doing this shit again

to conclude, here’s my baby:

she’s a little ugly but she tastes amazing (misshapen ball is sorbet, funky rectangle is panacotta)

(also the next day I made mini chicken pies but I was like oh I want more veggies in this so I added more but Unfortunately one of the veggies I added wAS A WHOLE ENTIRE LEEK which has a very high water content I didn’t account for, so my pies were LEAKING fucking everywhere and also I had like x4 the amount of filling I was supposed to BUT !! it’s not all bad bc I just froze the rest and now I have low effort dinner ready if I’m in a pinch :D)

so pretty much, in conclusion, my toxic trait is not reading recipes all the way through before I attempt them and assuming I can alter them however I want and they’ll turn out fine. I am plagued by hubris <3

anyways genuinely sorry to anybody who’s read this catastrophe that’s not sreedie bc sreedie asked for this so they can suffer xx

This is an exact image of me reading this ask.

I adore YOU, and I’m sorry but that fucking dessert looks soooooo so so so much better than that weird Easter log thing. I want a bite so bad and now I’m really pissed we didn’t get together this Easter.

So here’s the plan, we will have our own holiday & it is going to be the “Peary divorce holiday” and you will make me this fucking dessert and I will enjoy it and I can cook dinner :)

I May still love you (in celebration of may) but thank you for showing me this I’m sorry I sat on it so long but I read it like 20 times haha:)

#I adore you #& yeah I see your other ask from the chapter haha #I will get to that after I give the couple days I usually #I love you leekie #I’m sorry I don’t have a ton of tags #I’m just tired lol #& I want pear ice cream & I feel empty inside #ok leekie #until our next encounter #you’re wonderful #but also a lightning bulb smashing jerk #<3 #leekie tag #ask

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opens-up-4-nobody · 11 months

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...

#i truely have so much anger built up inside me about my job. ive done a very good job of making it unbearable #and after taking a 10 day vacation. plus 2 days of not working bc im sick. i really dont wanna go back #i was planning to take 3 days to not do fucking anything but my boss just emailed me with some time sensitive #logistical things. so like i guess i gotta fucking do that tomorrow. i started reading the email and it made my head hurt #and she started it off like. hopw ur feeling better and i dont wanna cause stress but...#like bro. listen. if u tell me these things u put them in my head and i csnt stop thinking abt them until theyre done. and its not her #fault bc im the one that put myself in a place where im barely keeping it together. its just frustrating #bc it feels like hope u feel better but also kill urseld 💖 but again thats just how it feels bc im so. idk how to describe it im like in a #state of post burnout. im sitting in the ash. alone in a desolate landscape and its like jesus how tf do i fix this?#and i cant even run out my anger rn bc im sick. and i mean i have the energy to run i dont feel lethargic but like i doubt that would aid #recovery lol. ugh. 2 months. thats all. then i move away. assuming i find a place to live lol. bc i currently haven't yet #but whatever. assuming i get better quickly and dont get worse and dont get covid on top of this cold bc my dad got covid #it will have been a bit of a blessing i came back sick bc i have a clear justification for not working and for telling people to fuck off #when they ask for things from me. like today a lab mate asked if i could sample Monday. which it technically #a holiday but i probably would have said yes if i wasnt sick. and i would have had to teach undergrads some bullshit friday if i wasnt sick #instead i just did nothing all day bc i almost moved bsck my flight and didnt leave home until the weekend anyway #i guess its good i didnt bc then i would have been stuck in ohio bc my dad found out he had covid yesterday #idk its all just frustrating bc im halfway in a transition and im not doing very well but i cant do anything to fix things until i leave #the southwest. like i dont even kno if i have health insurance rn. my benifits change request was processed but like does thst mean it was #approproved? fucking idk. so everytime i do anything i imagine a worstcase scenario where i end up hospitalized and damned to an empty #bank account or eternal medical debt. tho my mum said they passed a law where they arnt allowed to do thst to u anymore 🤷‍♂️#whatever. im annoyed. i dont wanna work 😫#unrelated

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archiveofourpwn · 1 year

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#feels like all my insides emptied out #i wish my dog were here #she comes home tomorrow and I'm actually nervous about it #i was gonna complain about being unable to sleep but i remembered sleeping pills exist!!!!#or just melatonin in my case lol

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deus-ex-mona · 1 year

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wake me up when january ends

#this. freaking sucks. i just. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #i accidentally got high off sharpie fumes and my head hurts now #and i weighed over 400 samples by myself bc the dudes from the morning shift were useless #and my thumb decompressed for whatever reason which sucks balls #and i stupidly traded away my free saturday of this saturday and considering the hiiiiigh volume of samples i regret my decision #so i’ll p. much have to work nonstop from tomorrow afternoon till sunday afternoon which. lol????????????#i’m so tired i feel sooooo freakin’ empty inside rn.. i can’t even…#ughhhhhh i wanna sleep till next century… i swear i’m gonna take 3 days of paid leave to recover next week #this sucks. i’m gonna rb that annoying lxl post again to make myself feel better ig #i’m genuinely sorry everyone. my crisis cryings will absolutely happen again #inedible blubbering

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revvywevvy · 1 year

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i took her out of her box just long enough to take this picture then stuffed her back in because I'm terrified of ruining her pristine model-work ;; she's so purrdy,,

#cell mumbles #♡ pyrrha alexandra #pyrrha alexandra #cw depressive thoughts #<- only in the notes just a little #//like- i'd love to have her out buuuut depression and figures don't combine well.#//i literally have like 10 figures of ruby from lo.ve l.ive that i bought when i was a minor right #//they're all on my nightstand. coated in dust. i'm too demotivated to clean them and sell them and i don't want pyrrha to suffer the #//same fate LOL #//i might have to ask my mom to help me clean them bc deadass i just feel so dejected and empty inside when i look at those figures #//they need to be clean they deserve better and my brain WANTS them to be clean but the other part of my brains just like #//'eugh whats the point why bother' and i just- HRGHRHGRHGRHGRHGRHDSGHSDGHDSHGS #//i swear though one day i'll rehome those ruby figures little missy deserves better. then i can spend the money on pyrrha more LMAO #//anyways. ok so ik queens blade pyrrha is kinda. hm. but at the same time this anime-fied version is still just as cute #//i will say though going through the qb cards of pyrrha for my folder was a fucking nightmare #//had to crop out so many panty shots and other stuff it was wild #//qb is fuckin nutty bro lmaoooo #//also no i didnt get her for chrimmy i got her a while ago

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keeps-ache · 2 years

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everywhere i've ever lived there's been a train nearby

#just me hi #there's a high-pitched noise it's bothering everyone in the house and it reminds me of trains #it's probably a tornado siren though #i don't know much about this area though so :|#/ i don't know why we always live near trains. if i was in a story maybe it'd foreshadow something. or give me a greater meaning #what's a train? a place always moving to another place.#the conductor seems trapped onboard sometimes. that means something i think #it seems endless endless endless. but when you get to the end (the one you've begun to believe will never come) it's relieving. sometimes #it's sad. saying goodbye to someone you never knew or wanted to know. still sad.#it holds things inside but it seems so empty. it feels empty. that means something i think #if i tried to hop on a train. a train stuck to its own tracks and endless endless pacing to deliver what seems to me to be invisible goods #i think it would be freeing. i'd go further than i ever thought i could while watching that train. thinking it would never end. that it was #so empty and lacking of Anything but sadness.#but from another perspective it really is a prison allowed to go as far as someone else decides it needs to go. a place that's always movin #i think that means something.#// no idea WHY i'm talking about this lol. brain decided Hey Wanna Think a Little Too Hard Rn? :)#and i just slippy slidey went with #anyway! almost done w/ this piece rn :D

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dilfian · 2 years

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4 hour work<3 just that easy<3 kiss my ass l*wes<3 lol

#xoxo #actually i'm missing a whole table i consolidated too. oops. blanked when i took pics.#but yeah i didnt see o until almost 2 1/2 hrs after i clocked in lol i was like??? o?? where have you been.#apparently md (who was prev dl i believe. or de? idk. former mst manager who is now an asm) had her helping with things.#he was trying to get the middle aisle display set up and she didnt know what to do. so i told her she could tell him i was there and could #help out. she told him and came back and said he was excited LOL i went oh good. glad someone still appreciates my work.#anyways i emptied 2 carts of shade perennials and redid all the shade perennial tables.#then i pulled camellias and star jasmine from the front and made 2 rose tables. they needed to be spaced out and we have enough.#thennnn went inside and work with md and also the new mst manager and we settled on how many palette stacks and what to put there etc etc #and then o and i filled it up with the palms and i refilled the 3 tier. cause i walked in yesterday going ???#said word for word in the gc 'what in the seven hells is that' sbdndnf they just filled it all wonky with whatever plants ya know. eugh.#and then o and i moved the palette shelf to the back after i had reorganized that too. yeah. it was a good shift.#all in 4 hrs. i just got home. going to eat food.#also o went to the store manager and told him they should keep me at the store lmao. so he's been told by a lot of ppl now.#also md apparently said i should apply for green team.#i really dont see how it would work esp at this store. or just the tasks in general. its at the very bottom of my job list.#but i feel bad leaving everybody. . .😔 anyways

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flarsanddanie · 2 years

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I think the hottest and sexiest thing about me is that I simply do not talk about my bad feelings to anyone irl

#the flynn life #i know this is a problem but also i have to talk to someone to fix it and like lol #i will not be doing that #im annoyed bc i want to go for another 1.5hr walk tonight but im eating dinner w my housemare which will also help me feel better #i just feel Empty Inside but not in a nice way

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sleepyagent · 14 days

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I got nothing to offer that is of value to you

And all I can be is myself

#words #mine #spilled thoughts #uh oh is it an episode again #theres this inherent sadness and feeling of worthlessness that lines my insides that sometimes surfaces #mental health #recovery #im on my way #these moments id like somebody to just come pick me up and craddle me like anythings gonna be alright #take me by your hand and walk w me a bit #build me a sand castle #some affection #blablabla #even tho theres so much inside of me ironically i feel so empty #i used to want to be able to figure it out myself and thought i had to but now i cant deny i do need comfort and gentleness #will it be like this forever #will i just feel broken every now and then and other times it seems ok enough #theres still shame about taking up space (in other peoples lives) at all #“all i can be is myself” lol ig not true when roleplaying

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sutorus · 7 months

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✰ HC: BEING IN A SITUATIONSHIP WITH THE JJK F*CKBOYS

DESCRIPTION: my hcs on what it’d be like to be in a situationship/fwb situation with the jjk men hehe

FEATURED: gojo satoru, geto suguru, nanami kento, fushiguro toji

WARNINGS: 18+ MINORS DNI. fem + afab reader, this is fully self indulgent i'm just taking my own shiddy experiences and coping via hot anime men, suggestive content/smut, pretty standard manwhore behavior, slightly toxic, not wholesome, kinda crack tbh, some mentions of degradation as a kink, objectifying women, just like the real thing lol!

A/N: LONG BUT READ! this will Not have an ending where you get together at least not rn these are just my hcs all in good fun ur just having fun ok ur not heartbroken everything is okay. they are not good boys here they are normal regular boys

GOJO SATORU

has way too many hoes. way too many

so much so that he gave up on remembering their names and just saves their numbers like “osaka w the hand kink”, “big tits shibari”, “slut from trig”, “hostess best bjs”

has someone’s boobs with his name written on them in sharpie as his wallpaper

says i love you when he cums inside and you never know if you should believe it

throws you off when he agrees to meet your friends only for him to flirt with them in front of you

takes you to the best clubs with bottle service, lets the girls sit on his lap and laughs when you get mad

pays for your ubers everywhere every time

into the weirdest shit like wearing your underwear laughing like a lunatic the whole time he’s fucking you then after he cums gets sulky and embarrassed

lays it on thick with the pet names, gives zero fucks if that confuses you even further

very public with you and it makes you wonder how many other girls put themselves through this humiliation just for the d

gets jealous about you being with other people and needs to prove himself by eating it from the back or something

fwb with gojo is just a huge mindfuck honestly he doesn’t take anything seriously and this is no different sorry! it’s fun tho!

GETO SUGURU

keeps it extremely platonic because he likes to tell himself he has a conscience

too busy for regular chit chat ignores your texts all day then hits you up when he wants to fuck

even more of a whore than gojo is which is why he makes sure not to lead anyone on he just does not need the trouble

answers all your personal questions about him with one word answers

he lets you choose the movie for netflix and chill at least! but will never remember it or the fact that it’s your favorite :(

cleans you up after sex and brings you water

has female hygiene products in his bathroom which is both a red and a green flag

lets you stay after sex and you just lay there on his bed watching him do stuff on his computer but he will not be talking to you

never calls you baby or anything when he’s fucking you just goes oh fuck yeah right there fuuuuck your pussy

genuinely respects you and has nice decent sex with you unless you tell him that you’re kinky

in which case he fucks you just how you want it and gets off on how turned on you are

not one of those guys who gets jealous of sex toys and holds the wand on your clit for you

likes to make you cum over and over and over again

fwb with geto makes your heart clench because he’s just such a gentleman but you got way too much competition to even think about it

NANAMI KENTO

a professional in every sense of the word

uses sex as stress relief

thinks he's too old for this shit but you make him feel alive so he fucks you like he can empty all of his frustrations into you

invites you to his apartment serves you expensive liquor and lets you initiate things most times unless he’s too pent up

can actually have very nice conversations with you

never has the “what are we talk” because he makes it clear he’s too busy for a relationship

lets you spend the night if it’s too late but solely for your safety/logistics

does your taxes for you but will not call you anything beyond an “acquaintance”

texts you happy holidays but does not know when your birthday is

gets tested consistently even though he’s not fucking anyone else and always uses a condom unless you beg him not to

eats you out because he thinks it’s relaxing and spends hours prepping you

the sexual tension is soooo thick when you two fuck all you can hear is grunts and growls and moans and wet slapping sounds and it’s so hot

has some random turn ons like gets bricked up when you’re wearing lipstick or stockings

fwb with nanami is very enjoyable and easy it’ll get complicated if you develop feelings because he does not want to date but who cares yolo am i right

FUSHIGURO TOJI

broke ass deadbeat dad why are you into him

absolutely nasty sex

you know if he had a girlfriend he’d respect her too much to do the things he does to you

dick game so bomb that you’re scared he’s gonna give you a child even when he’s wearing a condom

wants to fuck you every way he possibly can on every fuckable surface with zero regard for your physical integrity

eats his cum right out of you

ego is so big, grins so wide and fucks you so hard when you stroke his muscles

loves to eat pussy but only after he’s fucked you because he likes it tight and hot with minimal prep

doesn’t follow you on any social media but jerks off to your instagram pics

has like 3 different phone numbers and you don’t know why

has only let you come over once, didn’t let you shower after

no pet names but calls you a dirty whore and other degrading shit

loves it if you cry on his dick

doesn’t give a fuck about your safety sorry you’re on your own

has never told you his last name

one time you asked to see a picture of his son and he didn’t speak for 3 whole minutes

fwb with toji is the nastiest sex you’ve ever had truly it’s just sinful and everyone’s dark hidden fantasy half of it you couldn’t tell your closest friends because it’s just too much

a/n sorry

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ssahotchnerr · 7 months

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hellooo, i hope you’re doing well! would you want to write a fic where at some point aaron steals readers gum out of her mouth? this is such a random thought and i’m so sorry if this sounds weird (now that i’ve written it down and not only thought about it, it seems very weird, sorry!!!!!!), but i kind of feel like this is something he’d do when making out lol and it obviously catches her off guard the first time he does it 😁

according to plan

omg i'm putting a jealous!aaron take on this 🤭 cw; suggestiveness, established relationship, bau!reader, detective being a creep, heavy on the kissing, possessive/jealous!aaron 🦋

aaron's just about had it.

it started out as lingering stares, beginning at your face before sweeping all along your form. next, the insistent eagerness to partner up with you. and now the detective, who's name wasn't worth remembering, was at your backside, itching to get as close to you as he possibly could. any closer, he would have you pressed against the bulletin board in front of the two of you.

you were politely trying to explain the physical, common characteristics between the victims, how unsubs sometimes had a specific type and that's why they chose to acquire them. naturally he had asked you the most stupid, simplest question; just another excuse to speak to you.

all day, aaron had been silently seething, a mere bystander. but as he joined and saw the sight before him, his fists clenched so tightly his fingernails were digging into the palms of his hands. enough was enough.

"do you understand now?" you naively asked, a pleased expression forming on your face when the detective nodded in confirmation. unlike aaron, you had been unaware of his ongoing actions.

"is there any way i can repay you?" he questioned smoothly, his eyes yet again dropping. this time, the attentiveness is drawn to your lips.

"no," you shake your head, your focus already directed on readjusting one of the displayed photos, the gum in your mouth producing a pop. "i'm just glad i could be of some assistance."

it's a bad habit of yours, snapping your gum too loudly. it's hard to not notice it. but fortunately, the brought focus is about to work completely in aaron's favor.

aaron calls your name, tipping his head to the side as a signal for you to come. you abide, leaving the detective right where he is and as a result, he subtly glares at aaron for interrupting his time with you and his advances. aaron steps aside to let you pass, and as soon as you do, he shoots daggers right back.

truthfully, he's extremely lucky that's all aaron did.

you follow him to one of the empty interrogation rooms, a small trek away from everyone else. once inside, aaron swiftly shuts the door behind you.

"what's-"

aaron's lips are on yours before you can finish your sentence, causing you to gasp slightly in surprise, throwing your arms around his neck and instantly kissing him back.

it's all too easy to submit to aaron, allowing him to guide you and push you back against the door. he crowds you against it, his breath hot and heavy in your mouth, his hands exploring every curve of your body and more. every inch of you, is consumed by him.

the kiss is heated, desperate, and in the back of your mind, you distantly wonder why the suddenness - what has gotten into him? but with the pure vigor he's kissing you with, your brain had gone fuzzy; you were too consumed by the kiss to dwell on the potential reason why, or did you care.

aaron's large hands slide down your back, landing on and promptly squeezing your ass - hard. you gasp again, and aaron uses the sudden part of your lips to push his tongue into your mouth, sliding against your own. he can taste it - the flavor of your gum - and it only encourages him further, deepening the kiss.

you can't help let out a small moan, which aaron immediately swallows up from you, mindful of your volume within the current setting. your fingers find the nape of his neck, weaving and gripping onto his hair tight.

the kiss itself is wet and sloppy - all according to plan. and once the mint flavor fully invades his mouth, aaron forces himself to pull away.

and before it becomes impossible not to.

your eyes are wide as you look up at him. your cheeks are flushed, lips swollen from the intensity of the kiss. you let out a breathless laugh, chest heaving up and down. "wow. i..."

you trail off, your tone leading into more or less a question. aaron leans in once more, pressing a gentle, chaste kiss to your lips this time. "just missed you."

you take instant note of the slight, new shift of his jaw, which prompts you to realize something from your mouth is missing.

you gape at him, jaw dropping a bit in astonishment. "wait, did you take my gum?"

aaron's way of a response is opening the door, a small nudge of his head gesturing for you to exit. "after you."

you give him a confused look, yet your eyes are still dark and lined with arousal, before heading back to the others. a deep exhale leaves you as you walk away, an attempt to cool down before facing anyone else.

this time, when the detective's stare returns to you both, aaron's the one loudly snapping the gum.

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fluff #aaron hotchner smut #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner imagine #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds drabble #aaron hotchner drabble #criminal minds fanfiction #hotch imagine #criminal minds x you

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endlessthxxghts · 3 months

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Breakfast

Husband!Joel Miller (no outbreak) x afab!Reader

Summary: Your usual Saturday morning routine with your husband takes a turn, for the better. W/C: supposed to be 1k as per my celebration rules, but... it is now 2k... Oops... I’m sure y’all don’t mind😚. 18+ MDNI: Implied age gap (8 years per request hehe<3). Feminine pet names. Oral sex (reader recieving). Implied domesticity kink. Slight overstimulation, multiple orgasms. Soft Dom!Joel. Dom/sub undertones. Joel being a check-in king (safe word system in action, we love good communication). P in V unprotected. Breeding kink (y'all should expect this from me from now on LOL). ONE (1) USE OF "DADDY" (I had to, I'm not sorry). Sweet sweet aftercare.

A/N: This is in response to this request made by @survivingandenduring for my 1k follower milestone celebration. I remember you being one of the first to accompany me on my journey, and now that we're here together celebrating something I'm so humbly honored to experience, it feels so surreal. I love and appreciate your existence so so very much. Thank you.💚 I hope y'all enjoy!! (Pics for aesthetic purposes only)

MASTERLIST || L'S 1K CELEBRATION

Saturday mornings are your favorite. They’re lazy. They’re warm. They’re spent wrapped completely in the arms of your husband, Joel Miller. Whether it’s your lips or your limbs tangled in between the sheets—Saturday mornings are for you and him.

So when you woke up this morning to the other half of your bed colder than usual, you woke up with a frown. Rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you pull yourself to the restroom to brush your teeth and wash your face, not bothering to change out of your sleep clothes since you made Joel promise you that you guys weren’t going anywhere today.

“Darlin’?” His Southern twang calls out.

“In the bathroom, baby,” you respond, rubbing in the last of your face cream.

With a soft knock to your door, he’s entering, a crooked grin at the sight of you. You can’t help the grin that breaks across your face—no matter how long you two have been married, the bashfulness of two teenagers crushing on each other will never go away.

“Good mornin’, beautiful,” his gruff voice rasps, walking up behind you to wrap his arms around your waist, his lips ghosting the sweet spot below your ear.

“Good morning, handsome,” you reply, leaning your body into his large, warm form.

“Come back to bed,” he whispers, his face burying itself deeper into the crook of your neck.

“Where’d you go?” You ask, not particularly liking the fact that you didn’t wake up with him this morning.

Joel turns you in his hold so you’re facing him now. “I’m sorry, my love, I thought I’d be quicker than I was,” he tells you, catching the tone of disappointment in your voice. “I went to make you some breakfast,” he admits. “Nothin’ fancy, I just- I wanted you to eat.”

You narrow your eyes at him, flashing him a small smirk. “What’s your motive, Miller?”

“Uh-” he stutters, not expecting that from you. “No motive, baby. What, a man can’t make sure his lady eats?” An exaggerated offensiveness evident in his inflection as he speaks.

“Please,” you giggle. “Every Saturday, like clockwork, I either wake up with your tongue, cock, or fingers inside of me,” you state matter-of-factly. “Why breakfast now?” you ask, your eyebrow quirked up, his signature look. You cross your arms over your chest for good measure.

Damn, you’re good. And damn, he’s so fucking in awe of you. “Fine,” he relents. “The last few times… after we’re done… you get super jittery and lightheaded. Like your blood sugar is low or somethin’. I dunno, I just, I don’t wanna be pulling so much energy from you, especially on an empty stomach.”

Your jaw would be on the floor right now if it wasn’t attached to you. Oh. My. God. You knew what you were getting into, marrying a Southern gentleman and an older one at that; and you knew just how considerate a lover Joel Miller was, but it never fails to leave your heart—and your pussy—fluttering at how attentive your man is. You are so damn lucky.

Going back to the room and settling on the bed, Joel climbs up beside you and feeds you your breakfast—one of your absolute favorite combos: a greek vanilla yogurt, your favorite granola, and chopped up fresh strawberries. You make this almost every morning, but something about him making it just makes it taste a thousand times better—leaving your body energized for what was next to come… because shit, did you need it.

“Joel,” you sob, tears falling from your eyes as they fight to stay open.

He lifts himself off your cunt, bottom half of his face shiny with your arousal. “Gimme one more, darlin’, then I’ll give you my cock,” he tells you, his heavy breath fanning across your spent center.

“Joel, I-” you whimper, “I can’t.” Your hips bucking into his face says otherwise. He taps your hip three times. Safe word? He silently asks. One tap for green, two taps for a yellow, three taps for red—an immediate stop. Your hand nearly ripping his curls out of his head softens, tapping his neck once as you attempt to gain your breath back, soft whines blessing his ears.

He nips the inside of your thigh before he speaks again. “You can,” and then he’s diving back in, tongue breaching your entrance as his nose rubs perfectly at your clit, hurtling you towards your third orgasm of the morning.

“Oh, fuck-” you nearly scream, head pushing into your pillow with your eyes clamped shut, back arching off the bed. Joel throws his arm across your lower belly, keeping you down and open for him as he licks you through your high.

Finally, he relents with a satisfied smile, placing a chaste kiss to your clit. “Knew you could give me another, my darlin’ girl.”

“Mmm, baby, please,” you say, reaching for his jaw to bring his face to yours. Not yielding to your touch completely, he brings himself up slow—the tip of his nose dragging up your naked body, Joel placing open-mouthed kisses up your belly, up your sternum, all the way to your lips, your arousal lingering with his own flavors in a deep, needy kiss.

“Tell me what you want, baby,” he says into your lips, nipping your swollen lip before pulling away to let you speak.

“N-need you,” you breathe, desperate. You bring your hands down to his boxer-clad bulge, your fingers causing him to twitch.

Joel tuts, pulling your hand away and bringing it up to the side of your head, his large hand holding it down. “And I need you,” he says, biting your lip again, “to use your words, baby. C’mon,” he urges. Outside of the bedroom, you are very outspoken—this morning’s interaction as evidence—yet, when you find yourself a writhing, moaning mess underneath him, all words are stolen from your brain, all the breath is stolen from your lungs.

“Please,” you start, more determination this time. “I need you inside me, Joel, please fuck me.” You hike your legs higher up, your thighs hugging his waist as you shift your hips, your wet center rubbing against him.

“Such a good girl f’me,” he praises, sitting up to guide his boxers down, leaving you with a complete unobstructed view of his tanned and toned naked body, his soft tummy turning the pupils of your eyes into hearts. He’s so fucking sexy, and, well fuck, you just said that out loud.

Joel blushes, leaning back over you to kiss your forehead and your lips before he’s lining himself up with you, his sensitive tip breaching your entrance at a slow pace, his girth thick enough to stretch you every single time in all your years of marriage.

Your eyes slowly shut as he kisses at your neck. The depth he’s able to reach as he slowly pumps in and out of you, the pubic hairs at his base rubbing against your clit, his deep groans making butterflies erupt in your belly—everything is utterly consuming your body, forcing your already sensitive body to your fourth orgasm of the morning fairly quickly.

Joel is rocking at a steady pace, one hand underneath your lower back while his other cups the back of your head, his fingers rooting themselves into the base of your hair and applying a slight pressure, knowing the sensation drives you absolutely wild. The moan that floats through the air is enough for Joel’s cock to twitch inside of you, threatening to release at any moment. With all his strength, he lifts his head up from your neck to hover above your own, reveling in the furrow of your brows and the needy gasps coming from your throat.

“Darlin’,” he rasps.

“Mhm,” you squeak, unable to form any words.

“Look at me,” he tells you, hips speeding up. He knows he’s only making it harder for you.

Your eyes slowly peel open, but your eyes immediately roll back, the pleasure making your mind go numb.

At your action, Joel is slowing, his hips coming to a near halt. That gets your eyes open. “J-Joel? Baby?” you call, your voice quivering with frustration. You were getting close.

“Need those pretty eyes on me, darlin’,” he explains, his hips only starting back up because of your eye contact.

“Y-yes, baby, okay,” you reply shakily, wanting to do anything for him to continue.

He moves in and out of you again, incorporating a delicious slow grind with every push in. The pleasure is too fucking much, and your eyelids are slipping again even though you’re trying with every ounce of your strength to keep your gaze fixed on him, you fail.

Again, his hips come to a painful stop. “Darlin’,” he warns. “You stop, I stop.”

“I-” you cry. “Joel, I can’t.” Tears pool at your waterline.

His hand comes to your face, his thumb catching the runaway tear. “You can, baby, and you will.” It isn’t a request.

You wrap your arms around his neck, keeping Joel as close to you as possible, his breathing keeping you grounded as you attempt to keep your eyes on his. Satisfied with your attempt so far, Joel starts moving, and this time, he completely lets go. Thrusting into you not too fast or not too slow—and he’s going hard, every push would make you slide slightly up the bed if he weren’t holding onto you the way that he is.

Your eyes flutter, not shutting completely but not staying open, and Joel makes a warning sound, his mouth spewing filth to keep you focused on him.

“Need to see those pretty eyes while you flutter ‘round me.”

“Don’t you wanna be filled? I know you want it—crave it.”

“Keep them eyes on me, babygirl. I’ll give you what you want, just lemme see you.”

“Fuck, Joel, please-!” you scream, your hips thrusting on their own accord, your climax shattering throughout your entire body.

“Thaaat’s it, baby, atta girl,” he moans out, the sensation of you sending his eyes nearly to the back of his head. “Fuckin- give it to me, baby, just like that.”

“Sh- shit, baby, fuck-” you cry, “please, Joel, please.”

“Please what, baby? Use your words,” Joel rushes, chasing his own release as he pushes you through yours.

“Please- please cum inside me, daddy, fuck- needa feel you,” you sob, your fingers gripping onto his back muscles, leaving bright red scratches in their wake as he rails you into the mattress.

“Yeah, baby? I’ll- oh, fuck-” he whines, his balls pull taut, his tummy muscles clenching, and within seconds, he’s cumming inside you, the sticky warmth covering every inch inside of you, leaking out of your entrance as he continues his movements, slowing himself down to a stop.

You two lay there for a moment, your chests heaving against each other. Joel places a kiss to your nose, then your lips, then he’s lifting himself off you, heading to the bathroom. You hear him start a bath.

He comes back after a minute, guiding you to sit up and make your way to the bathroom. He kisses your shoulder. “You alright, darlin’?”

You nod your head yes, a content smile across your features, eyelids heavy. He pulls your chin between his thumb and his forefinger, making you look at him. His signature scowl, the playful version, is on his face. Those damn words, baby, he’s telling you.

“I’m more than alright, baby,” you finally verbalize. “I love you.”

“I love you more, baby,” he kisses your cheek. “My darlin’ girl,” another kiss to your forehead. “My beautiful wife,” your other cheek. He continues on like that until he’s peppered your face in kisses, consuming your body with a love quite like no other. You’re a giggling mess by the time it’s over, begging for him to give you a second to breathe.

Only then when you two settle against each other in the warm, bubbly water, does he ask his burning question.

“Did, uh… did the breakfast help you?”

You take a moment to register how your body feels. It feels light. Not light as in lightheaded or weak—like previous weekends. No, you feel light, warm, content—you feel energized, like you can take on the world right now despite the fact that your legs are still made of jello. You feel good.

“Yeah,” you say. “Helped a lot.”

“Good,” he replies in success, kissing the top of your head before he starts massaging every part of you he can reach.

End note -

I love you, you beautiful humans 🫶🏼

Also, please check out the links highlighted in red on my pinned post to learn about the situation in Palestine and also learn about some ways in which you can help 🇵🇸. Reading and interacting with those links takes 5 minutes of your time at the bare minimum.

divider in middle of fic made by me, vine graphic at top & bottom made my @/saradika-graphics

@pedrostories

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