#i dont want to be Nice i want to be myself and okay with that

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Okay here's one. I really dont think I'm the asshole but my ex sure does.

AITA for refusing to buy my partner a jar of pickles?

So this story has like, a little background and some confounding factors i think but i really could go both ways on whether i was the asshole.

Ill start with both my ex (21nb) and i (23f) had severe mental health issues and were working on treatment when we were together. Theyd been in and out of inpatient stays throughout our three year relationship. Towards the Day of Pickles, i had my first inpatient stay where i got help i desperately needed to keep myself safe. This happened to be about a week after my 23rd birthday, but about two and a half weeks before their 21st birthday.

Anyway, at that time i had just gotten out of the hospital and started a new job at Joanns Fabrics (i outlived that retail fucker and im proud of it). I had been unemployed for the previous year and a half because of the pandemic and so the retail job was really my saving grace to have some sort of income to buy gas and groceries. My parents let me live rent free with them in their basement but i spent a LOT of time essentially squatting at my ex's dorm because my situation with my parents was not great.

Now my ex was also being financially abused by their mom so they had a monthly "allowance" of 200$ (of their own money they made at their on campus job) and no access to their bank statements. So i spent a lot of my own money on gas and groceries for both of us, and anything we wanted to do for fun, like visit the city. Without an income, this was SUPER stressful for me and i spiraled pretty hard with feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness. Supporting two people, even minimal living expenses, on an income of exactly 0$ is the WORST.

Anyway, i got out of the hospital and pretty much immediately went back to picking up as many shifts as i could at work because id been on staff for all of two weeks before hospitalization. Knowing retail, i was probably on the precipice of losing hours or being fired altogether.

My ex wanted me to take time off to celebrate their 21st birthday (they didnt celebrate my birthday that year) and travel to see their family and drink etc. I got scheduled for an inconvenient time. I would have to miss their birthday if i didnt find someone to cover. I managed to switch shifts with another coworker who was nice enough to let me have her morning shift, so i was able to at least travel separately and be a little late to dinner.

The night of their birthday my ex wanted to get drunk and so we went to the liquor store. Now im generally pretty picky about alcohol but if i get anything special i always get enough to share. Mysteriously, no one ever offers to share the expense or pay me back. So with all of 150$ in my account, i purchased enough alcohol for myself and the rest of the party, and a bottle of (cheap af) liquor for myself. I was broke af until my next paycheck and was pretty much planning on giving up meals and staying at home because the commute to work was shorter and meant less gas.

My ex picked out a jar of boozy pickles and asked if i would get it for them for their birthday. I should note that with all the stress i was under i had found a birthday present for them but hadnt actually placed the order (was waiting to get paid). I also didnt lie to them about this and had told them that i hadnt gotten their birthday present yet. They were upset by this and told me they felt like i didnt care about them, to which i snapped and raised my voice a little.

I gave them a bit of a reality check. I told them in no uncertain terms that i was under a lot of stress, from nearly killing myself to being flat broke with little to no help from my family other than a conditional roof over my head, ordering their birthday present wasnt super high on my list of things to do and that i knew what i was going to get them and that i intended to order it as soon as i had the money to do so. After years of the sole attention being focused on keeping them alive, i needed some support and acting like i didnt care completely ignored EVERYTHING i did to keep us both afloat.They cried and played the victim as they tended to do and i was too stressed to do anything but be angry.

So when they asked for the pickles i told them no. I have NOTHING left in my bank account, and anything that was in my account was already allocated for something else.

They told me i was being selfish for buying myself alcohol on THEIR birthday, not even getting them a present, yelling at them, and then refusing to buy the one thing they asked for, especially after i refused to take off work the day before to hang out with them and their family. In front of our friends.

I told them that i was purchasing the alcohol for the whole party, that the present had slipped my mind, and that they were accusing me of not caring about them when i snapped. Then i walked out.

My bff went outside to help me cool down and i told him what was going on and how stressed i was and he said that he agreed with me, it was childish to expect me to pay for everything with no help from anyone and then act like im unreasonable for having to put limits on what i can purchase.

My ex ended up getting so pissed by all of this they broke up with me two days later, saying that their birthday was the final straw for them after I'd been so codependent and relying on them too much to survive.

I think its all ridiculous given all of the stress factors i was dealing with at the time. I feel like we're all entitled to the occasional emotional outburst/bouts of forgetfulness when we're stressed. But my ex seems to think im a selfish asshole. We've been no contact for the last two years so this isnt like a pressing concern or anything but it does make me roll my eyes occasionally.

So tumblr, aita?

(Btw im also much more financially stable now that I'm fully and properly medicated and away from them.)

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

[pomefioredove]

sorry if you dont do platonic/kid reader posts but could you do headcannons of the dormleaders with a younger teen yuu (13-14) who had a bad homelife before and they see him as their older brother? like they come to his room crying and asking him to hold them? sorry if this doesnt make sence!! thank you and i love your work!! ^_^ <3

I very gladly do platonic and familial requests <3 I myself feel more platonic towards most of the characters ^_^

summary: housewardens adopting you as their younger sibling type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, leona, azul, kalim, vil, idia, malleus additional info: platonic, yuu is gender neutral

𝐑𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞 𝐑𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬

believe it or not, Riddle is a pretty good brother

especially to someone from a home life similar to his

I suppose he recognizes it immediately; just sees pieces of himself in you

and I honestly believe he has a soft spot for younger people, even with his temperament

it's no secret that he favors you over everyone else

(even if he'd insist he treats everyone equally)

he lets you get away with things anyone else would be collared for

he pesters you about letting him help with your homework

you're invited to every Heartslabyul event

so on and so forth

and, much to everyone else's astonishment, he's always there for you to lean on

had bad day? failed an assignment? were being picked on? had a nightmare about your home?

well, that just can't do

he'll have you two freshly baked tarts and tea ready within minutes

and, of course, he'll gladly lend a hug if that's what you need

𝐋𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐚 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫

it's no secret that Leona's home life isn't exactly dreamy, either

and his relationship with his brother isn't ideal

in fact, the very idea of having another sibling- especially a younger one- used to make him cringe

but... okay, he'll admit that you're alright

what? he's not heartless

and he just can't stand to see you struggling like a prey animal

so, sure, he'll take you under his wing

just until you get on your feet, that is! don't expect any special treatment from him just because he was feeling generous today

he's basically no help with anything practical

homework to do? not his thing

boy/girl trouble? don't you have any friends you could ask?

he'll give out advice when you need it, but Leona's got this idea that you need to figure things out for yourself, too

it's his strange way of... raising you?

(don't ask him why. he'll just get annoyed)

but if there's one thing he's really good at, it's providing that much-needed physical comfort

in his eyes, all he has to do is lie there

and he'll gladly give you a hug or a cuddle if it'll wipe that mopey look off your face

(don't listen to him; he really does worry sometimes)

𝐀𝐳𝐮𝐥 𝐀𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐨

his first reaction to you and your closeness is "what do you want?"

not in a rude way, mind you; when you first meet, he sees you as an excellent business opportunity

after all, you're leagues behind everyone else in school matters; and he has a helping hand to offer.

at a price, of course

and then, as time goes on and it becomes more and more obvious that you're not looking for anything but company... well...

sure, you're all alone here

sure, you remind him way too much of himself at a younger age

but why is that his problem? haven't you heard what everyone else says about him? he's shady! untrustworthy!

and... oh, sevens. he just can't bring himself to turn you away

what was once a business venture turns into a friendship

best friend/brother Azul is insanely overprotective

even though he doesn't show it, he's constantly worrying; are the other students nice to you? are they including you? is everyone treating you fairly?

will send Jade and Floyd to keep an eye on you when he's extra anxious

it takes some time for him to adjust to the idea of you being able to take care of yourself

but, still...

he makes it clear that on those days, the ones where you feel like running and hiding from the world, his door is open

you can come hide with him, instead

free of charge, of course

𝐊𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐥-𝐀𝐬𝐢𝐦

he adopts you immediately

literally just can't help himself; he sees you looking lost on your first day of classes and immediately takes you under his wing

Kalim already has a lot of younger siblings, he's used to this

anything you need, he's got it

hungry? he's already had snacks prepared

feeling homesick? he'll find you something to remind you of home

struggling with school? well... Jamil can help with that!

once word gets back to his family, they basically adopt you, too

no need to worry about having a home to go back to over breaks; his family has multiple!

he will never shut up about how great you are; literally introduces you to everyone as his younger sibling

treasures everything you give him and keeps it forever

and on your worst days, he's there for you then, too

as stated, Kalim has lots of younger siblings, he knows how it goes- and he makes a surprisingly good comforter

his hugs are always the best, too

𝐕𝐢𝐥 𝐒𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐞𝐧𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐭

Vil already has a sort of motherly thing going on for him

he may be strict, but he's nurturing above all

and much like Kalim, he takes you under his care right away

you're still young, after all- and he knows you're not emotionally mature enough to handle all the chaos of NRC on your own

plus... well, he wants to leave an impression on you

after all, the sooner you start good habits, the likelier they'll stick

(he already has your skincare regimen ready)

it's the least he can do to help... you always seem very stressed, don't you? he wonders why that is

but he never pushes for answers, of course

he makes sure you're well acquainted with everyone from the dorm, too, so that everyone can keep an eye out for you

being Vil's favorite has its perks; soon, you're well-liked by anyone from Pomefiore

and friendly with most of them, too

(just don't let Epel influence you too much)

and Vil is always there; he makes plenty of time in his week just to speak to you

he wants to make sure you're adjusting well, after all

and any problems you have, he'll deal with personally

𝐈𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐒𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐝

it's more likely that Ortho bonded with you and took you in first

after all, you're closer in age than anyone else at school

you may even share a few interests!

but, of course, Idia's initial reaction was No. "Ortho, you can't just pick up random kids off the side of the road,"

...so to speak.

but somehow, you keep ending up in his dorm room to hang out

he avoids you at first, but the longer you're around, the more accumulated he'll become

when it gets to the point where he's teaching you how to play all his favorite games, it's so over for him

he's fallen right into Ortho's trap

much like Azul, Idia is a liiiittle overprotective

he's had some less than ideal experiences with siblings, after all

so maybe he's a little bit of a helicopter mom

that is, constantly watching you because he's deathly worried something's going to happen to you

(it takes a lot of convincing from Ortho before he relaxes a little)

and, of course, his doors are always open

he'll even pause his game if you come in looking upset

he just can't focus when you're all sad like that, see? now come inside and tell him what's wrong before he starts overthinking and goes into anxiety mode

𝐌𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐮𝐬 𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐚

Malleus has had enough experience with children. according to himself, anyway

he was somewhat of a brother to Silver, and holds Sebek in... a slightly similar regard

but somehow, you're completely different

for one; you're magicless, and thus can't defend yourself like everyone else can

for another; you come from a different world

and you seem very reluctant on sharing details about your past

which just confuses Malleus. are you worried he will judge you for not having any magical abilities? surely, you must trust him better than that?

it's really Lilia who's able to guess that you had a rough home life. just something about the way you conduct yourself- he's seen it before

he asks Malleus to be gentle with you, and not to pry too much

which he seems to accept

much like the aforementioned, he's a little overprotective

okay, a lot overprotective

he holds those he views as family very close to him, and you're no exception

you're invited to every Diasomnia event, Silver and Lilia pitch in on all your tutoring needs, and no one would dare mess with the beloved younger sibling of Malleus Draconia

although he still makes an effort to understand all of your emotional needs

he gladly accepts all hugs and cuddles, too

#twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #riddle rosehearts x reader #leona kingscholar x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #kalim al asim x reader #vil schoenheit x reader #idia shroud x reader #malleus draconia x reader #queued

[asteralien]

trying to articulate that while i do want to be more mentally healthy and more stable, i am not a woo woo uwu humanity is basically good <3 i love living life and romanticizing every little thing <3 if depressed people would only try to see beauty in a plastic bag they would no longer be depressed <3 kind of person and i don't see why i should have to be in order to Not Be Depressed. this is literally high school all over again

#i'm starting to feel like my personality is being pathologized again and it's like. i don't want to be different! #i don't hate people i just don't feel any one way about them or another! i dont want strong fluffy feelings about them all the time! #feelings are fragile and temporary and should not be the basis for my mental fucking health! #i shouldn't have to force myself to feel cherry-blossoms-and-carley-rae-jepsen feelings #to forcey-worcey myself into being healthier #all this 'teaching yourself to be happier' bullshit is so. pointless to me. i'm not always going to be able to be happy #and being like 'but you'll be happy again <3<3<3' is so devaluing of the current state of unhappiness or discomfort or misery #it's the wheel of fucking fortune out here and waiting for it to spin your way feels so disingenuous a way for me to live #i feel like the witch in into the woods oh my god like you're not good youre not bad youre just nice. #i dont want to be Nice i want to be myself and okay with that #and i hope/want myself to have kindness in them but i'm not defining myself on how much Positivity i have in me #i'm a puddleglum okay. why should i have to transition into a lucy to be deemed healthy. #eaugh i just. i'm having An Time w/ therapy #aster chat

[skitskatdacat63]

"Non paeniteo potitus."

+ details & process

And, process !!

The jump btwn the second to last and last always surprise me whenever I make one of these because I always forget to take snapshots after I start painting. It's always like: oh yeah heres the lineart with some colors- BOOM fully finished✨️

What he's holding are the Austrian imperial scepter and orb, seen below:

I was going to draw the crown too but decided I don't hate myself that much(maybe some other day), and gave him a golden laurel crown, bcs I'm obsessed with that as a motif, and also its very remincient of the boy king statue that started this whole thing!

There's some symbolism of this, both intentionally but also just historically. I love that the orb represents that the monarch is holding the world in their hand, basically every old monarchy has one of those, and I think it's very cool for symbolism. But also bcs of that, I was forced to basically draw catholic fanart so, you win some you lose some. The star halo above him head is both to reference those religious statues with star crowns(I saw them a lot in Europe and they imprinted onto my brain), as well as: his four championships of course!

#TL: 'I don't apologize for winning' 🤭🤭🤭 #^ was gonna find some old latin quote to put but was like. oh yeah of course !!! #noy sure if its entirely correct. kinda wanted to email my hs latin teacher to ask but i finished this too late at night #anyways please dont let this flop SKDKLGLVLV #im really proud of it okah 😭😭😭 it was actually so much fun and enjoyable and nice etc dtc #i questioned to myself earlier abt why my chibi art always gets more notes than my detailed art #and i realized. like unless youve been following the lore of my blog. this isnt even recognizable as f1 fanart SJFKLVLV #but thats okay because its my niche brainrot au and i will do what i want >:) #the hair and the relics are def my proudest part of this #i mentioned before but i have trouble yknow translating irl stuff or complicated stuff into drawing #but all of this came really smoothly to me in a very unexpected way #god his hair is just sooooo its ssoooooooo!!!!!!!!! i wanna pet him 🥹 #but i think it def helped that i kept posting the process on my close friends #and my two irl friends(as well as some friends on here! ty!!) encouraged me a lot abt it so :D #but anyways yep pls take my brainrot art 🙏🙏 it took me 13+ hours in the span of like 3 days basically #f1 #formula 1 #sebastian vettel #catie.art. #boy king au

[the-kipsabian]

a quick hot guide for people that struggle commenting on fics aka things authors love to hear and youre just over thinking it and its actually really simple to leave comments on stuff!!

key smash/emoji spam/reaction image/etc (it conveys emotions way more than you might think)

drop a line you really liked

say how much you love a ship/character and how happy you are that theres content about them

ALL CAPS ANYTHING

"i liked/loved/enjoyed/whatever it!" its better to say the most basic thing than saying nothing tbh; writers appreciate hearing anything over nothing 💜

"thank you for writing this" its short, sweet, and very powerful

think what kind of feedback you'd personally like to receive on a piece of art you made. try to translate that want into comments you leave for other people too

you dont have to be critical or constructive or anything, even if the author asks for that stuff in their notes. they'll get it from someone else, you just do you

i feel like people make leaving comments too hard on themselves, so really just make it simple. if you really dont come up with anything, just say thank you. youre there reading for some reason, tell the author what it is. fic comments dont need to be book analysis essays (tho those are. incredibly appreciated as well if you want to write one!!), writers publishing their works for free online appreciate any kind of feedback regardless if you consider it good or well written. a comment is a comment

bottom line is, leave comments on fics and other written works. its whats keeping this game alive

#feel free to add these are just the two cents in my brain rn #also absolutely reblogs encouraged #listen im not just speaking for myself i want to see every fic writer get more comments. more feedback #and dont even get me fucking started on getting reblogs on this goddamn webbed site im gonna blow up otherwise #just. fucking. support your friends. support your favorite creators. say nice shit about them and share their work #i cant believe this needs to be said in fucking 2023 god #im tired can you tell lmao #i also know im a fucking nobody talking about this but fuck if i dont who will ugh #as someone that tries their best to always leave at least a word in everything i read (which admittedly isnt a lot but still) #this is a very important topic to me. okay? okay #again feel free to add to this and its absolutely rebloggable if for nothing else than to remind people to COMMENT ON FICS #night is an absolute mess on main

[cathalbravecog]

taco bell bong sfx

#color palette art btw!! i like didnt allow myself to add my own colors #all this is mixed and taken from the pallete #OR with the use of layer effects #looks nice that way i think... #it was like gonna be a painted experimental test doodle thing???? #bc ivebeen feeling a bit rendery again? except using the basic brush and adding texture with brush strokes #KILLS MY HAND BTW DONT DO THIS WITH BAD PAINS LIKE I DO LOOOL #(HAS NOT SEEN A DOCTOR ABOUT IT. BEEN HAPPENING FOR A YEAR) (IM IN AGONY) (KEEPS MAKING AMBITIOUS ART ANYWAY BC I LIKE IT) #BUT LIKE.. i was gonna do like. several managers #not just ben. several. i was hoping for at least 2 that day. just a painted doodle smthn nice. WRONG! #YOURE GUZMA CATHAL SPADES SPAMTONGENDER OF COURSE YOU OVERDETAIL IT! #BUT ANYWAYE... yeah.... i think the result is nice and im proud #ok what else did i want to say before i make these notes a diary again #uhhh #oh yeah. i plan other mgrs like this but i have other stuff in the works rn #that one brain doodle and high roller again sorry the obsession doesnt end with a few drawings #woops! okay to the actual tags hehe ........................... #toontown corporate clash #toontown #bellringer #guz art #oh thats it oop

[flamboyant-king]

Hey babes, sorry I've been dead, but I coulda been literally dead if I had not gone.

I didn't hurt myself and we're still figuring things out. I would love to share but I've already forgotten what I've learned. I hope I get more guidance and time for healing and learning on how to lead my life in a better direction than where I was. But that takes time and effort.

I hope to get some rest, get some support, and get it together. But right now, I don't think it's healthy for me to worry about art in the way I do now. I may not express it here, but trying to maintain my art endeavors/projects while there's so much bullshit going on backstage is not helping me. Especially since I'm not even obligated to do so. But trying to force myself to do something I am currently unable to do will just make me feel worse. I'll follow my dreams and passions one day, but I've been putting off the healing process for years.

So I guess it's better to get better now so I can get the ball rolling again. Why drive on a flat tire?

#i was in there for a week and ill continue partial hospitalization for a few weeks #i hope i learn more and i hope i get specific help to my issues. because whay i learned there didnt directly pertain to me #but having structured daily life felt nice. but it wasnt all relaxing because there were still responisibilites on the outside world #tapping on the window or calling me on the phone. chose the best time for a meltdown. i have taxes and credit card bills to take care of #but if i stress about it now ill jsut be going back to the ER and thats no good. the hospital was so cold dude im glad im home with blankets #this is mr octopus again. im glad i broguh hom to work. i went straight to er from work and if i had no plushie with me #i probably would have stayed longer or be even more mentally unstable and distressed. its good to have comfort items #i dont think i want to know ehat if be like without some kind of companion or grounding item with me. i dont want to imagine me without em #its okay to have a little friend with you. i would be so distraught. everyone loved me there #the nurses the patients the residents yhe social workers the students #mr. octopus made them happy because of his big smile and mine too. the people there did not expect the mass amoutns of stress and depression #in this bubbly happy baby witb a happy pink octopus. one of the patients thought it was the meds the happy pills they gave me #no im jsut naturally like this. or artificially like this. i still dont know how to express or understand my feelings #if what im showing is real or not because i know ill be the happiest in the room wherever i go. maybe its a front or a mask #but when im like that kinda hard to know whats really underneath. they always ask me if im okay but i turn to myself #and its nondescript like ive put a blanket over how i really feel. its weird. the bubbly energy is blinding. #words #mr octopus #mental health #doodles

[droodlebug]

i think most people need to expand their idea of art so dipshits can stop saying ai art is actually good for physically disabled people who cant do art. what do you mean when you say art? can we ask that question? if you say that word and all you mean is a pretty portrait or an oil painting, then you need to open yourself up.

art at a base level is just something you made with some kind of strong emotion – some kind of passion – behind it. yes a hyper rendered portrait can still be art. a sketchy pen drawing is art. a mess of colors making shapes on a canvas is art. painting a huge canvas in paintstakingly light layers of a single color so that the end result is perfectly smooth is art.

a song on the speakers in a store is art. an underground indie song you love is art. singing a single sentence song with small children is art. voice acting is art. beading is art. jewlery is art. decorating your home is art. making a house or a person in the sims is art. making dumb ass tiktoks can be art. stuffed animals are art. resin crafting is art. sculpting is art. making little dioramas is art. collecting and cleaning dolls and figures is art. meticulously organizing your desktop and phone layouts is art. getting bored and spraypainting a shelf a new color is art. writing about your favorite show, whether theories or as a fanfiction, is art.

technology is art. engineering is art. architecture is art. science is art. sewing, modding, dress up games, hoke renovations, dancing, singing, fingerpainting, cooking, cross stitching, baking, making a blog or an essay about something you love, or hate, cmor care about, dearly, rearranging store shelves, crochet, making people laugh, icing a box mix cake, the way scientists talk about their field, literary analysis, printing shirts, personalizing your car, sex work, editing a picture to print, scrapbooking, getting really into planners, putting stickers on your things. its all art

when i say ai art isnt art, and it isnt a good tool for disabled people to make art. im not saying you have to be like me, who is physically disabled, and fingerpaint or that you have to learn to paint and draw with your mouth or toes or whatever. i mean art is something you are passionate about, and you need to find the kind of art that speaks to you and lets you express yourself. if that means you push your disabled (or abled) body to draw portraits of people like yours truly, then thats wonderful. if that just is not your art, thats wonderful too. theres so much out there to try.

you dont have to limit yourself to the first kind of art that pops in your head when you hear the word. and always remember. it doesnt have to be good or marketable. it just has to be yours

#idk im just thinking about some notes i saw on an ai post #about another disabled person saying something like..m well i shouldnt have to learn how to paint with my teeth to make art #and i agree. but thats not an excuse to take advantage of a skeevy ai program dubiously using art posted online. #it just means you need to find your outlet. if you arent willing to find your workaround to paint then dont paint. find other art #its okay to be dissappointed about that. its not okay to choose to let that hurt other people #its okay to yearn for something you cant do. im shit at any kind of fiber art and it hurts my physically and i wish it wasnt like that #but i do just have to accept its not the avenue for me and that is okay #conversely it does cause my pain to sit up and paint and i cant always hold a brush without pain and using needles bends back my fingers #but its what i need to do to express myself. so i keep working witg it and finding ways to make it accessible to me #im just not willing to do that with crochet or knitting #if you arent willing to find ways to do it. then it is worth thinking about if its something you need and really want to do. or if its just #a nice idea and something that would be cool.

[fishyfishyfishtimes]

Daily fish fact #221

Pacific barracuda!

The Pacific barracuda uses its excellent eyesight to find prey, looking for light or sudden movements. These fish are fearsome hunters of smaller fish, but aren't aggressive to most other things in the ocean unless provoked! They will typically swim away when approached, but do not put too much trust into barracudas: there are some species that will be aggressive to other animals than just their prey.

Honestly? Just treat wildlife with respect and caution, always. This has been a PSA.

#okay. obviously i dont need to say this every time #the people following me -- i assume -- most likely have respect for wildlife as normal people do #i just want to make myself abundantly clear: even if an animal can be nice and friendly it is an animal and you are in its home!! #fish #fish facts #fishfact #biology #zoology #aquatic #fishblr #marine biology #marine life #marine animals #barracuda #pacific barracuda

[mitamicah]

.

#just me wanting to rent in the tags #i feel so self concious about being at my parents' house #how much or little i eat #every single microexpression i make is pointed out and laughed at #every odd sentence i say is mentioned so i know it was odd and weird #i know they dont mean any harm but i feel judged #i feel like me trying to be civil and nice is only making me feel awkward #there are times i feel okay but honestly i have been feeling a bit more of these less than ideal moments #that on top with having allowed myself to enjoy treats since its christmas has made me feel odd with my body as well #at least rn #i feel bloated and awkward #wanting to hide away in big shirts #the skin under my skin is falling in a way that is uncomfy and make me fear having a double chin #i try to tell myself this doesnt matter and my body is fine enough #channel käärijä yk #i am not doing a good job however #idk i might delete this tomorrow #sorry for ruining the christmas spirit #micahs thoughts

[nerosdayinanime]

"Im worried what people would think of you then, that you're just a personal whore or something- i don't want to ruin your reputation.."

"Are you kidding? 'My dick was so good i got promoted-' Thats the biggest flex i can think of!"

"Well, you're certaintly enthusiastic about this."

#ive been thinking of the au from @planethoneybee's tags in that writing prompts post #on the topic of giyuu wanting sabito to have political power in case something happens or someone tries to pull shit- #him & shinobu debating the pros and cons of giving him title of concubine before giyuu brings up the social aspect #so shino calls sab in to get his thoughts on the matter directly and it made me laugh #another bit w sanemi- theyre at a meeting talking abt finances and theyre talking of cutting sanemi's beetle funding- #G: i can pay for it /Sane: what? /G: keep as much funding to the project as possible- i'll finance the rest of it out of my #own allowance. that works doesnt it? /Shino: i suppose. ..but you'd do that for beetles? /G: i see importance in it. /Shino: very well- #sanemi doesnt thank him or even mention it but he definitly looks at giyuu differently after that- he used his own shit to keep #the project going full blast? damn. he did that for sanemi's beetles. man. #somethn somethn giyuu bringing up the idea for shinobu to have a personal guard(/helper) as well #shinobu 'i know what you are' @ giyuu before he hurriedly explains he doesnt mean get a side hoe hes genuinely just #offering to find her a trusted guard/helper whos sole purpose is to do errands n shit specifically for her 'oh! that sounds nice actually' #'sab has someone in mind for you- says shes one of the best in the forces and a pleasant personality' 'ill see that for myself first' #'okay [thumbs up]' #im imaginging a mix between european kingdoms & east asian/chinese/japanese empires except i dont know shit about either #only thing i vaguely know is theres advisors & like sub-royalty & in traditional japanese more (/complex) layers of clothing = rich/royal #the 'sub royalty' has a name im p sure. i forgor. fuckiinnn. #nope its just not there. oh well. giyuu w the fingerless sleeve-gloves my FUCKING beloved #also vague thought of sabito & mitsuri wearing helmets that utilize their pink hair as fuckin. yk the european knights #w the stupid ponytail thing/romans w the gold helm/red mohawk thing. somethn like that #they wouldnt wear like full Heavy Armor like knights do their fighting styles & w the close-quarters they wouldnt need it #but like for Show at Fancy Pantsy Time theyd dress up similarly #loserboy giyuu posting #loverboy sabito posting #sabigiyuu #of all the shit i have for this au THATS the scene that gets front page. dick joke funniee #(in case its not clear text goes Giyuu-Sabito-Shinobu talking)

[snaxle]

im just sick of feeling guilty for spending money 😭😭 ..

#og #i wanna save my money so bad but the past year has been really hard on my family. lots of bad shit has been going on #and i just wanted to get stuff to treat everyone so we can have a nice holiday and to show them i love them #but now i have less money in my savings and it makes me really sad </3 #im trying to save my money up to eventually get a car which will allow me to get a better job and be able to move out #although i probably wont be able to move out for another few years bc. everything is so expensive #although my mom is trying really hard to find a job even tho i really dont think she should bc she's sick. but like. we're poor #and it's even sadder bc my younger brother wants to get a job to get some money too and it's like. no please it's fine #we can handle it you don't need to help out we're okay right now #OOF SORRY FOR VENT.. #next year i just really hope i'll be able to like. save my money up a lot which. idk if i can #so to make myself happy i get myself a lil treat here and there otherwise im probably gonna get depressed LOL

[bluebellhairpin]

Spent the last eleven years having to save myself, but man it would be nice if someone else cared enough to save me instead. Just once.

#im getting real sick of having to stand tall and say im okay just because no one bothers to ask how i really am #far too many are satisfied with 'Im fine' no matter how tired i look #itd be nice for someone to notice. for someone to pry the real answer out of me. #for someone to finally come along and know me well enough to know im lying #and what #until then i just have to pretend i dont want to kill myself every other day #woohoo my favourite thing ever lol

[waterfallofspace]

I have finished The M/entalist, a tv show that ended 10 years ago, a show that I'm sure no one else cares about, but that I am about to make my whole personality for at least 2 weeks as I have hyperfixated on it so hard I can barely breathe

so uhhhhhhhh anyways if anyone knows this show take this as an open invitation, or if not then consider this a formal warning that i may be reblogging things and screaming "P/ATRICK J/ANE" in the tags <3

#waterfalltalks #hi i am in LOVE with this man even tho hes like idk 30 years my senior #hes also fictional so <3 its fine <3 is what i tell myself <3 and its true <3 so its okay that i tell myself this <3 #what can i say okay he hits EVERY one of my boxes and has a charming smile while he does it #literal sunshine but clouded with the most beautiful darkness like hello sir #also one canon and it wasnt the best and it wasnt a lot and it was from the back but you know what sometimes we starve #so the fact im not going completely without is good enough for me and i will live nicely in this world #i do not know if i will write for him but i cannot find ANYTHING for this man so i might have to just do it myself #will anyone else care? no. does that matter to me? nope hes my beloved and i want c o n t e n t #only thing stopping me rn is free time and confidence that i have his mannerisms down #maybe after i rewatch it <3 again <3 and watch many edits <3 and maybe make a few edits <3 #anyways if you bothered to read this far uh- thank you? im sorry? dont mind me just losing it over my newest guy <3 you get how it is <3 #(i hope <3) anyways yes thank you!! bye!! i will go sit in a corner and think about my man <3 #not snz

[persephoneflouwers]

-

#hello everyone how are you? #I hope everything is doing alright! from my part I can say life is treating me well lately #and I feel very light and okay #I am here mainly to get things straight #I saw an anon going around some other blogs talking about me #saying I am an hater and I shouldn’t be writing larry fics #I think this is the same anon that I blocked some weeks ago #because they told me I should not use Harry for clout (????) #and I want to say only one thing because I don’t care of defending myself on this website anymore and that is #it’s not clout and it’s not easy #being a (new) writer here is not easy because people don’t care what you do and there is definitely not clout around me #im not using harry to gain anything #if anything I am constantly questioning whether I am somehow good at writing silly stories and putting myself out there for people’s judg #*judgement. and I promise you it’s not always nice #especially when this place doesn’t like people who you don’t always agree with #especially when you are blocked by half of this side of fandom (larries because I had said something in the past that they didn’t like) #louies because im a larrie ergo I hate louis (???) and harries because i dont care about Harry as much as they do #so no I am not ashamed of writing and I am not ashamed of writing giving my characters #(that rarely have anything to do with H/L irl) thei #their names and physical features #and honestly people like you anon should definitely stop to play this stupid game of fandom police #deciding who can read what and who can write what #because this actions only affect new writers in the way that #they will be alienated. they will feel alienated #and this whatever this fandom is shouldn’t be about that #ever. you don’t know what people go through every fucking day #you definetely dont know how this sort of silencing mission you have going on #will affect people on the internet and their mental health #stop defending the imaginary people you think H/L are and start treating people in this fandom as actual human beings #and since you probably would like to know this: I am not currently working on any project because i am fucking scared of reaction like this

[dogboots]

blog that makes me happy vs nobody will ever take me seriously here as long as I post the way I do

#mousetalk #im aware that a lot of my biggest interests are for children. thats why this main blog looks like a seven year old designed everything #im also aware of how silly i tend to look to anybody who isnt myself. 'adult who likes things for children“ isnt really something you Want #to be known as because this makes you look stupid to folks who do not have or understand the childish stuff #which is pretty understandable. i do look silly taking cartoon dogs seriously and being converned over toy rabbits feelings and whatnot #im not so oblivous as to pretend that i dont lol #i just wish i could enjoy these things and still be taken seriously! im not angry at people for deciding they wont or deciding they dont #like me or deciding im some sort of strange freak who will never grow up. its valid when you consider the everything else about me. #just wish it didnt have to mean that any and all footholds i have in adult spaces werent null and void you know #itd be nice if the two things could coexist. #im really only rambling in the tags like this because having this childish blog as my main ends with me being blocked a Lot #which again! im not mad about! people can choose to interact with who they like and form whatever opinions they want #im just a little sad is all. i have plenty of (mature even!) interests outside of things like stickers or stuffed animals but i cant really #interact with these things here without somebody inevitably looking my way and going oh. another immature person. goodbye #or just assuming that im a child trying to wiggle my way into adult spaces by claiming i am one. according to 1 ask i recieved a while back #i dont know. this really isnt much of a complaint is it. 'people dont take my stuffed animals seriously' is about as stupid of a problem as #it gets haha #maybe someday ill suck it up and rebrand and stop talking about baby animals on my main blog #so i could finally follow a blog for something like a horror game franchise without being blocked on sight #or greeted reluctantly and with an eyeroll haha #TLDR; if this blog stops being happy funtimes it is nobodys fault but my own for being spineless about my own interests lol #i doubt anybody is reading this wall of text (hello if you are) but dont take anything i said in here personally #enjoy what you want to enjoy. dont let me or anybody else dictate that when your life on earth is so short #this is more just me with my own trivial issues that dont matter in the grand scheme of things #okay goodnight everybody thats it for the time being