#i dont know where else to dump this

[diam-etrical]

being an artist is humiliating

I don't think this is talked about enough.

When you put something out in the world, you have to accept the possibility you won't get anything back.

Maybe you laid your heart bare on a one-shot that got zero comments. Maybe it was a painting you spent hours working on that didn't get the engagement you wanted.

I think it might have been the reason I stopped creating, for a little while at least.

I got obsessed with the stupid little numbers and metrics. Got happy when people liked my content, got sad when it resonated with no one. My relationship with what I created was determined by my perception of how many people engaged with it.

I waited day and night for the dopamine rush of notifications. I refresh my inbox, thinking that one of these days, somebody will leave some kind of affirmation, and somehow that recognition will imbue what I created with more significance. More value, writ-large.

If it got crickets, then I've failed somehow. It just wasn't good enough, I say to myself.

For the longest time, I felt like everything I created had to prove it belonged. It all felt like a race, except I didn’t know who I was competing against, only that I always felt left behind and couldn't keep up.

That's my fault. I can't help but measure myself.

But isn’t that the universal tendency? To view our past achievements as a benchmark we have to constantly overcome? Isn’t that why we’re so satisfied to look at old works we made and see how far we’ve come?

I remember what my old teacher used to say. “You’re only as good as your last piece.” As if art exists only to constantly prove itself. As if art is forever doomed to fight for its place in this world.

Well, I'm sick of it.

And so I'm realizing, in real-time, that I don’t want to fight for my place anymore. I don’t want to pander to some stupid algorithm.

I want to create. 

I want to believe that a work of art is good simply because it exists out of necessity. Out of someone’s urgent desire to share a piece of their heart in the world because it would have been devastating to keep to themselves. That’s always been very beautiful to me. It's why there is so much heart in fanworks because of the sheer heart poured into it—a love that is as raw as an exposed nerve.

There are so many stories in your head, numerous in number and nebulous in form, that eventually come to fruition as these delicate, precious things you’ve been brave enough to summon into existence. To materialize in a timeline or dashboard. To somehow take up space in people’s minds if only briefly. 

Maybe that in itself is the miracle. That what you conjured in your head somehow made its way into something real. Whether in tiny strokes or tiny letters on a tiny screen.

Somehow, the numbers next to them don’t seem to matter as much.

#this is the opposite of a thinkpiece #this is just me rambling #Many Thoughts #these are definitely all words #me when i say things #i dont know where else to dump this #im just #tired of all the changes #writing #writing help

[fulcrvm]

I am thinking thoughts about airports and flying again. And Dreamling, of course.

So. Human AU. History professor Hob has to fly around a lot for work, perhaps for conferences or smth of the sort so it's always to a small handful of the same nearby cities. He's pretty neutral on the idea of flying in general, though he wishes it was a bit more environmentally friendly, but Hob is a sucker for a nice airport and especially a nice airport lounge during layovers or before boarding.

Hob has begun to frequent a small local airline (White Horse Air, the logo is a coat of arms with a little pegasus, wyvern, and hippogriff on it, haha) when traveling because he likes their service (they've never lost his bags, not even once!) and their flights are never fully booked, which makes them quieter and easier for hob's chronic pains. He always picks seats with no one next to him so he can sprawl out and so it's easier on his knees.

Until, one day, he boards the little plane and there's someone in the seat next to his. Hob's sure that when he booked his seat, the other one was empty. Oh well, whatever, Hob's not going to bother the other man already sitting there for one flight— he'll just have to be a little more mindful booking next time. Hob shuffles into the seat, and notices that the stranger sat beside him is reading Sir Thomas Malory's Le Morte d'Arthur! Hob gets excited because! That's a William Caxton publication! And Hob has so much to say about Caxton! He turns to the stranger to strike up conversation about it and... is immediately lost at how pretty the stranger is. Handsome, gorgeous, yes of course, but pretty, with the shell pink lips and focused blue eyes and slight frown at the book in his hands. Hob picks up his metaphorical jaw off the metaphorical ground and strikes up conversation with the stranger. Though the other man starts off apprehensive, somehow the two hours of flying fly by and the two of them end up talking about all sorts of art, history, and everything in between. Hob learns that the stranger works in publishing, thus his interest in Caxton.

Their flight lands, and the two of them disembark at the gate, still attempting to continue their conversation while Hob tries to wrangle his carry-on bags. (The Stranger only has a small laptop bag on one shoulder and a suit jacket folded over his other arm with him.) Then Hob has to check the time and begrudgingly says that he should probably head towards his next gate soon— this is just a layover after all. The Stranger looks ever so slightly disappointed and admits that this is his actual destination and he needs to meet his sister soon. They part ways, and Hob tries to dwell on the strange warmth in his chest. He thinks about the Stranger for his entire work trip afterwards.

This, somehow, happens a couple times. Turns out they both frequent White Horse Air, and though they're never in booked seats next to each other again, the flights are always empty enough that they can shift to sit next to each other once the plane's in the air. They chat the flight away, and then part ways once they disembark, with the Stranger headed to the baggage claim and Hob to his next flight. One time, the Stranger even requests the hostess to bring out a special bottle of Chateau Lafitte 1828 just for the two of them to share. Hob's in awe. He really enjoys their conversations, it's nice to be able to talk about his interests in a non-academia environment. The Stranger always has the most intriguing and eye-opening perspectives on everything, too. It doesn't really help that Hob thinks... maybe he's developing a tiny, teeny, really inconsequential really crush on his Stranger. He's not in grade school anymore, how does he feel like this about someone he doesn't even know the name of yet!

This all comes to a head when Hob mentions to the Stranger that his layover is a bit longer than it usually is, and if the Stranger is in no rush, they can continue their conversation in one of the airport's lounges. White Horse Air is a bit too small an airline to have their own lounge, but Hob's collected enough miles to get into one of the other airline lounges and is fully willing to pay to get in one if it means more time with his Stranger.

The Stranger is extremely enthusiastic about the idea— which shows up physically as a subtle, coy upturning at the corner of his mouth and a little sparkle in his eye. (Hob feels proud that he can read this reaction so well.) He's so enthusiastic, in fact, that the Stranger offers to get them both into a first-class lounge. Hob doesn't even pretend to hesitate to say yes.

Let's just say they get to the lounge, split some cheese and wine, and the proceed to get even more enthusiastic with each other in a private room. Hob's lucky he brought a change of clothes in his carry-on. (Maybe Hob's not so lucky and can't sit comfortably during his next three-hour flight.)

Hob gets a bit emotional when he has to leave for his next flight (already missing being able to hold his Stranger's face so gently, being able to card his fingers through his soft, smokey hair) and gets his guts together to ask if the Stranger wants to exchange phone numbers or something, so they can be in contact more regularly. Perhaps even, meet on purpose maybe? The Stranger smiles and kisses him lightly on the cheek when he slips a business card into Hob's hand.

Hob's so caught up in it all that he doesn't check the business card until he's fully boarded and sat on his next flight. And he gawks.

Morpheus Aion The Dreaming Publishing House

As in, one of White Horse Air's biggest shareholders? Aion, as in, probably the sibling of Teleute Aion? As in, Teleute Aion, the CEO of White Horse Air?! Hob almost passes out.

In the end, Morpheus and Hob laugh it out. Morpheus promises he never abused his sibling privileges to invade Hob's privacy, but used the sibling perks to frequent White Horse Air flights a little more than he even needed to just for the chance to see Hob again. They're both happy to not need to keep flying just for that chance anymore, haha. Idiots in love! Turns out, while Teleute lives where Hob keeps having his layovers, Morpheus and Hob actually live just a few hours driving from each other from their shared initial departure location. It all works out perfectly, and Morpheus self-restraint from inviting Hob to move in (so they don't have to keep travelling to see each other, no matter how small) lasts not even a year after they officially start dating. Hob doesn't even pretend to hesitate to say yes :)

(Years down the line, much after they're married, Hob finally has enough miles to get them back into those first-class lounges to have more fun. It's all very lovely.)

#my thought process was “can i get them to fuck in an airport lounge room” and then i never even wrote that part #guess what i am also a sucker for a nice airport and an even nicer airport lounge. i am yearning for a nice flight rn #i genuinely love flying so much. not domestic travel but international travel is what my entire life revolves around and i am allowed to #romanticise it a little bit haha #anyway #(me describing morpheus' lips with a guitar color) ah yes literature #how the hell do i tag this #i dont usually post idea dumps like this but i have no where else to put it haha #i'd love to write it but i dont think i'd know how to approach this lol #if anyone wants to take this as a prompt go ahead!! #the sandman #dreamling #dc #rex speaks #rex writes #(?) #long post

[phant0municorn]

goodbaye 2 dinobot(uninspired) haelooo lucifer<3

#beast wars #transformers #dinoprimal #optimus primal #dinobot #doop #im gonna dump about this au since like excluding the 1-3 and last 2 images like alot of this is almost from like a year ago by now so uh #if ur a FRIEND who has NOT finished beast wars do NOT read im literally gonna ruin some shit 4 u DONT do it. i SWEAR. ok ily bye #maximals and predacons crash land on earth yadda yadda except its 10 times worse they crash land on the wrong time where most of humanity #has already evolved lets say they crash land around 15-16 century or so. idk yet exactly maybe we may never know just know au is gothic #mostly kinda yeah u see op hes a bat and shit but when he was scanning a lifeform while being barely alive because wehn they crashed both #sides almost went up in flames literally and when op was scanning a lifeform he did scan a bat but it was full of parasites and he ended #up scanning those as well. hes like yeah hes a vampire but like not an actual one but just as scary since energon isnt as abundant as time #goes on on earth and its scarce op needs more of it or else he goes feral he has 2 eat the protoforms kinda. lucifer doesnt defect immediat #ely uhh idk if i might make this like a visual novel or something one day if i have the time or energy after a project im alredy working on #well see ok thanks bye #i also wanted 2 redesign db because it always kinda bothered me how like its just him in some western get up. i wanna commit more 2 it and #now hes a diamondback rattle snake(not sure if i want 2 specify eastern or western idk if it matters really) and op kinda like has more of #flea mouth but rins mouth is canon 2 they can coexist<3 ok now byebye #oops made it up on the spot last minute i hate doing refs but the top of lucifers head is his snake skull #i keep forgetting sm shit but also why do they fight whats the point. in the crash both golden discs were destroyed. theyre pissed off as #hell if im going down im taking u with me

[claitea]

thinking about anthea and concordia and how they knew n's time growing up in the castle was awful but they probably couldn't do much about it because they were also under ghetsis's "care"

#pokemon #pokemon black and white #pokemon bw #n harmonia #natural harmonia gropius #pokemon anthea #pokemon concordia #clai's art #i dont know what anthea and concordia are like outside of the games where they appear uh. literally once per version. which sucks #so my take is that they. being older than n and also raised by people before being orphaned. did not have the same extreme views #they didnt doubt that humans hurt pokemon at first bc they saw the same injured pokemon that ghetsis brought to n #but they knew not all humans were like that. so they would try to tell n that but he trusted ghetsis above all else #as they got older they realized more and more what ghetsis's true intentions with n were but by then it was too late #n was too deep in the worldview ghetsis forced on him and ghetsis viewed him as disposable #one step out of line from anthea or concordia to protect n or steer him away from the path ghetsis put him on-- #--would probably mean dire consequences for any of them. so all they could do was watch #i hope that all makes sense idk. i dont often write detailled backstories for characters i cant do it well all that much #anyway anthea and concordia DESERVE more of a role in the story than just last minute lore dump #they have POTENTIAL

[sweetvalentinescandy]

Still thinking about my breakup (..from 5 months ago)

Prob the reason i dont like creek anymore but fuck him ill still draw them anyway

#south park #sp creek #craig tucker #tweek tweak #craig x tweek #I did hate drawing this #This is actually based off my first kiss #From said breakup ofc #Thats why their faces are so obstructed #That and i cant draw kissing #Hopefully its not weird to lore dump in the tags #Just dont know where else to put it

[todayisafridaynight]

Sohei 🤝 Kazama: Bad dads

who even IS a good dad in this series like who even is a dad that we can all look at and go 'now THATS a good dad right there'

#snap chats #this is a trick question of course. i ALWAYS mean arakawa is number one peepaw in my heart #but fr like date / the florist / yuta's bitchass dad...... #a good dad is hard to come by in this series...... and when we do he gets dumped in the fucking BAY GOD DAMMIT #see every time i want to call jo a good dad i hear my bestie come from the top rope with 'he put a baby in a locker' #CAUSE ITS AN AWKWARD MOMENT NOW INNIT. TERRIBLE start to fatherhood and being gone for five years is ALSO p rough #like its such a paradox because yes jo was there for near four decades for masato when he didnt have to #but he was also the reason why he had to be there for masato yk what i mean. also Thats His Kid #hes not a step dad he's the dad that came back with the milk ykwim #I THINK credit should be accredited when its due like at least he was ready to sacrifice the rest of his life to make up for his mistake #and its not like he thinks he'll ever be forgiven by. Whatever Entity decrees someone is forgiven or not #so its not like he'd even call himself a good dad ☠️☠️ #so yk what. im gonna put him in the Ironically A Solid Dad corner #at least until rgg gives me the househusband special where jo gotta babysit masato for a day... yeah id pay for that #most of these tags are about jo what the fuck else is new. he stimulates my brain leave me alone #i dont wanna talk about kiryu being a dad i already know there's a sniper light on the back of my head #my point is rgg is gooddadphobic

[monellian]

Hello Tumblr I disappeared for a week, here's a Lavender art dump for you

#undertale au #undertale #au sans #lust sans #ellie art #lavender lust sans #suggestive #he's so silly #i love him so much #art dump #he's always looking at the camera because i dont know where else to have him look-

[moldwood]

on the topic of that post about traditions, i was also talking with some friends about how i really like the "modern traditional" aesthetics of overwatch. you can definitely tell its the future, but there's a lot of regional building techniques in places that allow it that also abandon western aesthetics in favor of embracing the culture of the maps area. i know it's to give each map a unique aesthetic and the creators were not thinking as deeply about it as i am, but i enjoy thinking too much. big central cities obviously need metal and glass and so forth to support the infrastructure, but on maps for smaller locations, you can see that they're made with mostly local supplies. it was on the mind because i saw a video about the stigma against grass thatched houses in africa and how theyre seen as a backwards way of living, when in reality theyre actually the most environmentally friendly way to make a house in the area and theyre also energy efficient. you dont need to run heating and cooling through a house that heats and cools itself, you dont need to worry about food spoiling if its kept chilled naturally, and you dont need to worry about costly repairs to your house if the materials are readily available. its trying to build every shelter in a western style to try to show the world that a place has been "civilized" that leads to the loss of efficiency and culture and history and a million other things. anyway i think im probably the only person who cares about the sociopolitical implications of the funny monkey with a laser gun game this much

#and dont get me started on the spiritualism and scientific advancements in that world #i was never involved in the fandom for a reason. everyone was busy making hunky boys kiss. i was busy dropping out of environmental science #in my head there is a beautiful future where no history was lost and where there is a major switch that is flipped and all of a sudden #infrastructure is made listening to the people who know the land and how to build on it while sustaining it best. in my head there is a #beautiful future where real estate companies can no longer pave over wetlands so long as they 'just build another one somewhere else' #because you cannot just build another one. it is an incredibly complex filtering system that you cannot just recreate by dumping water over #some grass and adding bugs and calling it a day. in my head there are no empty houses and there are town squares and there are gardens #in my head i live in a beautiful past where my great great grandma never had to take the name america smith!! #but here we are so we must destroy pavement heatsinks and tend gardens

[miscellaneous--bones]

mk so i redid 'em a little bit, instead of being the caretaker of the wobble dogs they are just. the first wobble dog of their save file? i figure when they died their core somehow glitched into the wrong game rather 'n spawning in the world right or whatever. i ended up making up a save to base 'em on and them n randy have like 5 kids, so, they deff' have somethin to miss now!

uhhh,, otherwise?? im gonna say game wise they catch on to the whole 'world is a game' thing rather quick, but generally are so distracted and just trying to deal with the new body that they dont have time to miss home too much till maybe after the ending. i like to think science wise they either know lots about like- theres the gut flora thing (plus the early game thing of all the gardening/seed planting stuff) something like a xenflora scientist would make sense- but so would like. genetic shit (because of the breeding simulator) so they could've been in the department that was working on cloning and genetic engineering. doesn't really matter anyway tho? seeing as they'd probably only ''wake up'' or whatever the same time the game goes up. idk yet!

another thing is that i think they slowley start,, loosing their memories? of home, as the story progresses? the more they get used to being 'human' and having more advanced AI, the more they lose their connection to their former game/life. it seems fun to play with? angst factor n all that

#anyway ive dumped well enough #hopefully some more stuff abt them later? we'll see where the night goes <3 #art #doodles #Dr Wobble #they dont have a doctorate but shhh nobodies gotta know :) #last thing for now they are CONSTANTLY just chewing on like #their sleeve #or someone else's sleeve. or their gun #and i think they eat the corpses cuz soda isnt a food wobbledogs can eat #unless they find a food vending machine with like. some shitty burritos? or chips they can have chips #idk its just a funny idea #of like. gordon catches them eating body parts and they list off the most specific wild ass list of food that they can actually eat #its great #ANYWYA #i tried to cut myself off like 5 minutes ago #blegh #hlvrai oc

[lovelyx420]

how I see it love is a privilege I didn't have so all the darkness people express on their face, clothes, through the tattoos on their skin isn't relatable to me. I've seen sociopaths with mothers who love them. They've done horrible things and their mom still can love and never misses a moment to show it. My biological mom shows me her worst and has the means to hurt me physically. Has the means to take her trauma response out on me, whilst simultaneously triggering mine but my love and honor for her holds me back. My hands shaking with adrenaline, that she triggered, shell laugh at my conditioning in the moment and never apologize after.

My lesson is all pain is valid. Not all of us have a mother's love but there's so many that do. Makes me lonely, and ungratefulness has once made me resentful. But the lesson is all pain is valid and we must use it to learn.

#i had a dream last night where i was cleaning up a mansion after a banquet. it was a 13 y.os birthday party #my exs lil sisters bday party #her mom invited all her classmates #it was huge and i helped out w the clean up... these 13 year olds were smoking cigarettes and at first i walked padt then i was like tf #yall are 11 12 13 #so i asked them to take it out their mouths #some refused so i confiscated them and snatched out their mouth #asked them for more and they denied they had more 🙄 but i used to be 13 smoking cigarettes so i knew they had more #they reached in their pocket and i expected to receive a box of cigarettes #the kid i was talking to was the one handing them out #but he opened his wallet and a whole bunch of shorts and ashes was dumped out. i put them in my pocket and collected more from other kids #i was like “damn her mom just invited wveryone in the class #i know she dont hang out w these holligans she hates smoking and she knows better to be around hooligans“ #anyways all the kids left and i cleaned up w some other people that got hired #we smoked the kids cigarettes and drank the alcohol that the parents left out #manneeee i was washing dishes in the sink in my dream like wtf then i realized everyone else was putting it in the dishwasher #i went to go for another cig and found out where i left them on top of was this tuna sandwhich maker/press #they fell in and the next three tuna sandwhiches had ashes and tobacco and dirty cig butts in them 🤮 #the forth thna sandwich looked good asf i was hungry at that point #then a gunman came in trying to kill us #lol i just wanted to dump on concious rq bye

[thehardkandy]

dad sending me emails about getting ready for home ownership as if i am not living in the den of a 1+den apartment

#he is trying to impart information that i do genuinely appreciate it just makes me laugh #and i am in a better place than i have ever been #but uh home ownership aint exactly something im hot over even if i am able to have down payment #cause i was in fact trying to find what the average monthly expenses of home ownership (or you know. property in general if not a whole hom #i would LOVE to own where i live. i would love for it to be no one else's say whether i continue to have a place to live #but i dont want to be dumping money into something i cant guarantee i can support #maybe in 5 years who knows #maybe not

[golden-states]

God Jesus lol no man will ever love me as much as my father does

#why does that kinda hurt lol #like yea im privileged to have a great relationship w my dad #but also a pretty crap/stale relationship with like 93% of the other men in my life #im writing this because online dating is withering my soul and i don't know what else to di #i WILL die if i have to spend another year in this bed alone #and i dont know where to air this because literally every person in my life is partnered #except for a dude i dumped lmfao FUCK. fuck #erica and nita if you see this no you didnt lol #I know the answer is be gay but NO WOMEN R WORKING OUT EITHER hahahahahahahhah CHRIST

[anaussiefan]

Every time I come up with some sort of story idea and try to develop it, it gets super complicated, goes from 1 main character to a group of friends to a trilogy with an ensemble cast and heaps of world building that I need to do for the story to be immersive

I just want a simple story idea that I can enjoy writing without trying to fit every little thing I've ever thought of into it

#i literally end up planning spin off books and books that are like info dumps of the world and even a complimentary art book #the thing is i still like the concept #ny plot point just get too disjointed to the point where i dont know how to get from a to b to c #theres also a lot of moments where some big event happens then the crew needs to wander somewhere else for the next big event but how do you #make walking through forests and across rivers interesting #i study science at uni and my creativity has gone down the drain

[princessbrunette]

you’d always been a nerd, there was no doubt about that — it’s only now you were older, you were known as a nerd who was filling out her bikini top, and jiggling in her bikini bottoms. now, unlike yourself — you sit on a little boat out on the water with the infamous pogues.

it was jj who invited you here. it was always jj — he’d been enthralled to see the sexy little thing you’d grown into adulthood as. he’d spotted you whilst working at the library, frowning over a file book of library card entries with cute pouty lips and reading glasses that he wanted to cover in cum. hed always thought you were cute at school, but now he just had to have you. he’d used his charms on you, and now you were nervously tucked into his side, ‘making friends’ with his friends as he’d described it. “gotta get ya out there, there’s a whoooole life to be lived outside these books, you know that?”

he was burrowing through his backpack, leaning over on the boat beside you to find the weed he’d packed, clearly set on corrupting you for fun.

“its the best of the best— like, perfect for a beginner—” he rambles, dumping things out his backpack struggling to find the small baggie of prerolls he’d prepared.

“jesus, jj do not corrupt the poor girl.” john b bites back the entertained smile, lifting his head from where he lounged in the sun to look at you. “you sure you’re okay with this sweetheart? can totally… you know, stick to what you know.” he shrugs, sympathetically and you shake your head, wide eyes finding the blondes.

“its okay, told jj i’ve always wanted to try. he said he’d hook me up.” you smile politely, still a little shy around the group.

“yeah but he’s being weird about it.” kiara glares at her friend with her nose turned up, nudging him with her foot nearly knocking his balance off. “dont be a creep.”

“look i’m not being a creep, alright! ‘said she wanted to try, and i’m being a good citizen and simply helping this sweet young lady out dabbling in just a lil bit of herb okay so i don’t wanna—” he dives headfirst into another one of his rants, but is quieted by your gasp when a couple of items fall out his backpack, including a gun.

“nice work.” pope shakes his head and your eyes widen, looking around wondering why no one else is concerned.

“why do you have a gun, jj?” you scandalise and he picks it up casually, flipping it in his hands making you shuffle away, jaw agape.

“gotta protect my people, what’s wrong wi’that? look i’m a pro at usin’ this thing— set up a little target practice in john b’s backyard and lemme tell you, i have quite the aim.” he waves it around making you stiffen up, touching his bicep to stop him from being so reckless.

“god, you must be careful with that thing. they’re dangerous jj! i read that these pistols just go off at random all the time, you could seriously hurt someone and i don’t wanna be the person who gets shot by accident! do you even—” you freak, and he turns his body to you shuffling closer and silencing you.

“shh, shh, shh, shh — hey. it’s all good. i would never accidentally shoot a pretty girl. trust me, i’m so careful.” he smirks, bringing the tip of the barrel to your lips making you freeze with wide eyes. to keep you there as he speaks, an arm slings over your shoulder, his clammy hand gently grasping the back of your neck. you know you should be scared, the boy seems reckless and unhinged — and worst of all, his friends seemed used to it which tells you he does this shit all the time — but something about it made your cunt throb, dampening your bikini bottoms and subtly pressing your thighs together as you felt your skin heat up.

maybe it was all the books you read, but you’d always loved a bad boy.

“seriously bro? you’re scaring her.” kiara complains, leaning across and yanking the pistol out his hand and shoving it back into his backpack.

fast forward a few hours, and you’re back at the chateau, the only ones inside in john b’s bedroom. you’re looser, high and relaxed from the joint jj had talked you through smoking — and now you were laying your head on his bicep, his free hand down your panties rubbing your copious juices into your swollen clit.

“cant believe you’ve never been touched like this, mama. been missing out on heaven, right?” he grins, leaning down to kiss at your cheek when your eyes flutter closed, so out of it and blissful.

“mm… wanted this since…” you trail off, lips parting and brows furrowing when he curls his finger inside you.

“nah, go on. since when… tell me how long this pretty pussy’s been horny for papa j.” he dirty talks so well you clench hard around him, working up the courage. it didn’t take much, the intoxication and lust making you brave.

“since you put the gun to my lips.” you admit quietly and his jaw drops gleefully, speeding up his fingers.

“seriously? damn i knew you were gonna be a freak. it’s always the quiet ones, always dude.” he celebrates to himself before staring down at you adoringly. “man, i’m gonna have so much fun with you, pretty girl.”

#jj maybank prompt #deer!reader #i guess

[honeytonedhottie]

how to isolate and grow⋆.ೃ࿔*:･💶

quick disclaimer : when i say "isolate" i dont mean the negative connotation of self isolation where you push everyone away, i mean the laying back and rly focusing and tapping into urself BY yourself.

accessibility : limit people's accessibility to you, or narrow down how many people you allow to access you. ur energy is SACRED ur time is a privilege. its important that ur no longer looking for outlets in people.

during this time of stepping back and being super picky with how and who u spend ur time with its the perfect opportunity to separate urself from the toxicity that some people in ur life might bring. in that same breath, its easier said for friends then it is for family members because when u think isolation ur probably thinking of being a home-body which is a part of it. but if ur home is whats making u sick then try and spend time AWAY of the home to do whatever u need to do.

self awareness and responsibility : take a moment and be truly objective with urself. practice having the difficult conversations with urself. u know ur goals, but are u the person that can have those goals? and if not, how can u get to become that person.

this is also the time to address things that you've been sweeping under the rug. address anything thats starting to become a problem and address bigger problems in ur life. we wanna be able to take responsibility for ourselves and PROBLEM SOLVE. be super clear on what u wanna focus on during ur self isolation period and WHY you are choosing to do this.

find a mentor : find someone who resonates with you, whether it be online or in person, who is living the life that YOU wanna live or living a life similar to one that u wanna live. u dont have to have just one mentor, it can be multiple mentors for different aspects of ur life that u wanna improve. ur mentors dont even need to know you honestly, just someone u look up to

detox ur brain : mental diet. mindset is EVERYTHING as you know if you've been consuming my content lately. everything and i mean EVERYTHING begins in the brain. the thoughts that u think today will be what u experience tomorrow. speak to urself nicely, throw away old thoughts that dont align with ur dreams and replace them with positive ones thru repetition, fixed attention and practice

do brain dumps before u go to bed, its good to get out all of the thoughts in ur head before u go to sleep, out of ur brain and onto a piece of paper or something else in general. it doesn't have to be in a negative connotation either, write down ideas that pass thru ur head, goals, inspirations etc.

clean out : anything that u tend to cling to, whether its devices, drugs, drinking etc. practice fasting from it. it doesn't have to be extreme, just taking a break from it REGULARLY will improve it so much. an analogy i like to use for gradual change like this is with a rubber band. if u stretch the rubber band as far as it can go too quickly then it'll break, however if u gradually stretch the rubber band little by little, you can stretch it super far and it won't break.

experimentation : while ur self isolating this is the perfect opportunity to experiment with ur physical. dye ur hair a color that you've always been wanting it to. grow ur hair a couple inches, take extra good care of ur skin, experiment with different clothing styles. become ur own MUSE.

with that being said i wish everyone luck and blessings as you isolate and grow 🫶🏽

#self concept #advice #it girl #becoming that girl #self care #self love #that girl #it girl energy #dream girl #dream life #dream girl tips #girl blogger #hyperfemininity #self development #self improvement #self growth #self reflection #honeytonedhottie

[dizzybizz]

hai here is a sketch dump with too many fandoms :) sorry about the ungodly amount of men here i have been going through it and by it i mean gay

ok wait i ran out of tags??? it wont let me tag them all😭😭😭 im gonna have to be sparing with them uhh i guess i will have to ramble under the cut then cus i like rambling in my tags but i cant with this one 😭

(ok im back from the ramble: it is way too long.... proceed forward if you want to see some guy just absolutely talk nonsense for entirely too long)

no cus i swear i have tried tagging more stuff than this before and never hit the limit but whatever

hello i really use this like a fkn blog huh

i just wanted to provide some thoughts on the harper and rosé one first bc its important to me 😌 cus i was thinking abt harper and how in my head and heart of hearts she would be the kid who thought you get pregnant from kissing and i dont think she ever really grew out of that belief. <- this ended up spawning the idea of harper being a sex-repulsed ace and i will die on this hill actually. fight me or die, you die either way actually nvm

this is just a buncha blorbos i dont know what to tell you really. sketch pages like these always end up so weird for me bc for some reason my brain always wants the characters in them to interact in some way. whether that be talking or just reacting to what the other is doing... its something i cant stop with, its so stupid and silly and i hate it and i love it. where else would i see kabru slowly losing his mind with how loud phoenix wright is in court????

I THOUGHT I HAD GOTTEN OFF THE RAILS WITH THAT BUT THEN THE NEXT PAGE HAPPENED. and all i could do was laugh and ask "what the fuck am i drawing??? HOW DID WE GET HERE? WHY IS THISTLE HERE WITH LEOPIKA HELP" LIKE that page started with the big leopika and then i was like "man i miss thistle lemme draw him real quick" but the curse struck and now hes being homophobic so </3

i rlly like how the nic(k) page turned out ... i just have a lot of nicks i like drawing idk.. the lil guy is an oc,,, one day his ref sheet will be finished and itll be awesome but not for now, sorry baby, no can do. im weirdly happy with how the hands turned out for all of them tho?? so thats a W

yotasuke, murai, nick (youll never know which one im referring to. .. jkjk its hoult i love the pose there ehehhe), nic and the entire last page r my favs. i like em all but those rlly get me yknow- the olly too ofc but ive already posted him, dont mind him being here, hes part of the set. AND OVER ALL IVE BEEN HAVING SO FUN WITH SHADING BLACK AND JUST LEAVING SPOTS BLANK ITS SO ?`????

WHY IS THIS SO LONG PLS DONT READ ALL THIS THIS IS STRAIGHT UP EMBARRASSING AGHSDFGSDHJSGD im all like "yeah i dont like talking about myself or whatever" but as soon as i get to my process or blorbos or smth the floodgates fucking break open, not even burst man.

also dont mind how i havent even acknowledged pingas twink pokemon counterpart. hes just here for shits and giggles i dont know the guy like at all, i watched a handful of eps of horizons and that was it RIP

#blue period #yotasuke takahashi #yakumo murai #tiger and bunny #kotetsu t. kaburagi #yu yu hakusho #hiei #kurama #drawtectives #harperosé #witch hat atelier #arkco #olruggio #brushbug #trigun #nicholas d. wolfwood #all saints street #nick hoult #bna pinga #dungeon meshi #kabru #ace attorney #phoenix wright #thistle #hunter x hunter #leorio paladiknight #kurapika kurta #leopika #my art #doodle