Tumgik
#i dont even know if this fic will ever get posted cause im just so done with the disappointments
the-kipsabian · 2 months
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would appreciate someone telling me my fic writing efforts are not completely in vain or whatever
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maplesyrupsainz · 5 months
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˖⁺。˚⋆˙meme | LN4 ˖⁺。˚⋆˙
pairing: lando norris x y/n reader (she/her)
genre: social media au, established relationship
warnings: none rly it's jus fun & fluff
summary: in which you love causing mischief and mayhem and both of your fans eat it up
a/n: i liked this request but had no idea how to rly like execute it in fic at all but i had the idea just to have them being silly on the tl hahah hope that works ok & u guys like it?! sorry if it's shorttt
request!!!: idea!!! omg have you seen that girl on tiktok, i think she goes by dj mandy, and she pretends to be a serious dj and mashups the most random songs with a straight face,,, im picturing landos girlfriend with that type of humour in a fic😭
fc: various blonde girls from pinterest
my masterlist
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twitter ->
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instagram ->
yourusername
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liked by landonorris, yourbff, and 328,871 others
yourusername 🎀🍪
tagged: landonorris
view all 7,193 comments
landonorris ok
landonorris why do you always pick these random pics of me to post like we dont have any nice pics ?
yourusername funnyy
landonorris ur the only one laughing
oscarpiastri not true
danielricciardo i laughed too
carlossainz55 and me
landonorris oh great. her minions are here
user5 i love y/n's aesthetic photo dumps being ruined by lando 💀
user6 nah it adds to the vibes imo
user7 my fav wag
user8 she's soo funny she doesn't care what anyone thinks at all 💀
twitter ->
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instagram ->
landonorris
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liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 742,921 others
landonorris virtual postcards
tagged: yourusername
view all 11,183 comments
yourusername ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff rufffff
yourusername thts my man thts my man
yourusername awoooo awoo awoo 🌙
carlossainz55 what you doing right now
yourusername howling at the moon. you?
landonorris dont question her carlos
yourusername omg. he's defending my weird behaviour ...... 😊
landonorris well yes. no one else will
carlossainz55 🤨🤨🤨
user12 he is so pretty
user13 omg lol at y/n going feral in the comments 💀
user14 im obsessed with her
user15 my fav couple ever
yourusername
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liked by landonorris, georgerussell63, and 512,872 others
yourusername on tht gang shittt
view all 6,229 comments
landonorris what you on about gang shit for
yourusername isnt it cool
landonorris no not at all
yourusername right well i heard george say it
georgerussell63 liar
yourusername someone british said it
georgerussell63 well it wasnt bloody me
user16 y/n getting bullied in the comments by british men 💀
user17 awww her & lando r so in love even tho they are always bullying eachother
user18 lol she's so funny
user19 as if george russell would ever say something like gang shit 😭
yourbff "gang shit" & there's absolutely no one else in the pics apart from ur bf on a tv
landonorris right? that's what im saying
yourusername ok sorry for using it incorrectly i'll do better next time.
yourusername
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liked by yourbff, alex_albon, and 601,478 others
yourusername on that gang shit for real this time
tagged: yourbff, alex_albon, lilymhe, carlossainz55, landonorris
view all 8,273 comments
landonorris this one i'll allow however why am i last
lilymhe dont take it personally lando
yourusername u deserve it for bullying me about saying gang shit
alex_albon it's true you barely even deserve a spot at all lando
landonorris right well you guys are mean
carlossainz55 hey bestie hey bestie hey bestie hey bestie
landonorris stop harassing my girlfriend
yourusername hey carlos miss you
user20 not carlos spamming hey bestieee
user21 omgg i didnt know she's friends with alex and lily
user22 she's lowkey friends with everyone😭😭
twitter ->
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instagram ->
landonorris
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liked by yourusername, danielricciardo, and 891,013 others
landonorris she's not getting rid of me that easy
tagged: yourusername
view all 14,194 comments
danielricciardo if you guys actually broke up and her first reaction to it was to post taylor swift lyrics with a george russell meme you have every right to be mad
yourusername LOL soo valid
landonorris i wouldn't even be surprised if she did this
danielricciardo me neither
yourusername urm i would never do that
oscarpiastri you sure?
yourusername not you too oscar 😔
user26 AWWW
user27 this is lando's equivalent of a dog pissing on a lamppost
user28 marking his territoryyyyy iktrrr
yourbff aww you love her for real
landonorris well duh have you seen her.
user29 AWWWW soppy lando
yourusername
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liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, and 782,755 others
yourusername my life as a (the best) wag & i wouldn't have it any other way
tagged: landonorris
view all 7,572 comments
lilymhe will challenge you for best wag spot
yourusername tbh i'd let you have it
lilymhe awww we can share it 🥰
user30 aww y/n being srs for once
user31 AHH my favs
user32 favs being soppy & cute on main 🥰
user33 y/n is so me. weird & cute!
user34 fr she's just one of the girls
user35 no literally i want her to be my bff
landonorris not you being nice and normal for once
yourusername ruff ruff ruff bark bark bark awoooo awoo awoooo bark bark bark!!!
landonorris right well. nevermind
yourusername I LOVE YOU!!!
landonorris i love you more sweetheart
THE END 🧡
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salamivx · 3 months
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Hi! Could I request a twisted wonderland fic/headcannon with Idia, Malleus, Rook, Azul, Jade, and Floyd reaction when mc/Yuu/reader turns into a goose? I was thinking something like mc/Yuu turned into a goose from a potion class accident, and they act like the goose from Untitled Goose Game, but cuddlier. Like they are still a little menace, but also want to be pet and cuddled.
If you don’t want to do this request I completely understand as it is a bit odd. I hope you have a great day/night!
GOOSE!?
MASTERLIST
Malleus, Rook, Jade, Floyd(Separate hc) x Gn! Reader
warning. floyd and rook are warnings themselves.
(Not proofread, sorry I don't write for Idia and Azul)
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✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°��
- Malleus finds it amusing you turned into a goose running run around the place makes his heart melt he coos at you when you sit on his lap as he pets your feathers.
- When you feel sleepy you sit on his lap, and when you shake your head before sleeping he has a whole heart attack right then and there, and when I say heart attack I'm not exaggerating, he may have a stoic face and not react as much to things but when it comes to you it's different.
- He has you sitting on his head his horns acting as a support so you won't fall of his head while Sebek is throwing a temper tantrum as Silver tries to calm im down while Lilia is cooing and gushing about you guys saying how it you guys are together while taking pictures and Malleus is just standing there like that standing man emoji while you on top of his head is just watching all of this shit go down as you try not to laugh.
✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩
- Once Rook finds out you turned into a goose he's swooping in to get you and once you guys are alone he starts spewing all his fancy french words to you, that you dont even understand.
- He brings you to Pomfiore and gets students there to treat you like royalty but honestly your not complaining at all like free food? Count me in! Wouldn't wanna miss free food.
- I feel like he would get blush and put it on you, then would go on to give you instructions on what to do so he could take pictures and post on magicam, he literally acts as Cater for a day before having to find a position to turn out back.
- Once he finds the potion he's a bit sad you can't stay a goose forever but he's happy your out of the form cause now he can kiss you all he likes.
✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩
- Jade look down at you as you look back up at him, you get scared of his stare thinking he was planning on eating you and putting on the menu of Octavinelle but he picks you up and tries to feed you a mushroom.
- Ok but seriously though I feel like he would try to put you in babys clothing I don't know just a hunch. Or he would just put u in a pond and watch you swim around it's a bit stressful for you since your literally being watched while swimming.
- But in the end he finds the potion to turn you back into your human self
✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩
- Floyd is chaotic wish the bed of luck to you cause bro will give you the most tight crushing hug he's ever given you while you make goose noises struggling to breath and he lets go laughing really hard as you run your little goose legs away from him.(You don't make it far before you her steps getting closer and being picked up to eye level with Floyd)
- When he gets bored he closes your break with his hand and you try to escape but then his other hand holds you down and you just sit there so done with life.
- He definitely is to lazy to find a potion for you so he makes Azul and Jade do the work, and once your back to our human self he give you a bone crushing hug again and laughs manically but it's ok you love him either way.
✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩
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mrpldiddles · 4 months
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secret’s out | t.blyth
a/n: the first fic featuring my oc remi is here! i'll hopefully be able to post more about her and tom soon and i hope y'all love them as much as i do :)
if you want to know more about remi here's an intro to her :)
remi.alaric posted:
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remi.alaric life lately🥰
comments:
user4 the second picture HELLO??!!?!?
-> remi.alaric hi!😁
-> user4 GIRL😭😭
rachelzegler the second picture i'm going INSANE
-> remi.alaric soft launch oops🤭
-> user5 MISS GIRL WDYM OOPS IM SPIRALLING
-> user9 i don't think remi knows that she just changed the trajectory of so many peoples lives
joshandresrivera does this mean what i think it means
-> remi.alaric yes sir!
-> user3 JOSH WHAT DOES IT MEAN
-> tomblyth oh no one's gonna be ready for this
-> user7 HUH
-> user1 WHAT DO THEY ALL KNOW
-> user6 watch it be a music announcement or smtg and not a boo reveal
-> user8 DONT GIVE HER IDEAS
user10 i 10000% believe it's tom
-> user4 OMG WAIT IT TOTALLY COULD BE
-> user7 THEYRE ALWAYS TOGETHER ITS TOTALLY HIM
tomblyth posted:
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tomblyth a photo dump as the kids would say
comments
remi.alaric the caption please😭😭
-> tomblyth what about it🤔
-> rachelzegler not the emoji😭
user3 IS THAT NOT REMIS DOG???!!!?!?!?!??!
-> user2 WAIT YOURE ONTO SMTG
-> user4 NO WAY
-> user9 IT HAS TO BE
-> user7 @rachelzegler PLS CONFIRM
user8 IM GOING INSANE THATS TOTALLY REMIS DOG ARE THEY TOGETHER
-> user1 ID BET MONEY THAT THEY ARE
-> user2 PLS THATS TOTALLY HER IN THE THIRD SLIDE
user2 WE ARE NOT FOCUSED ENOUGH ON THE THIRD SLIDE THAT IS TOTALLY REMI
-> user5 AND WHATS THE COINCIDENCE THAT THEY BOTH JUST POSTED SOFT LAUNCHES
-> user8 AFSVSDJKNSJV PLEASE I NEED SOMEONE TO CONFIRM IT
user12 the third slide's actually me guys!!
-> user5 girl please aid in the cause of finding out who it is😭😭
user5 i fully believe in the tom and remi conspiracy theories!!
-> stevie_alaric definitely!!
-> user4 remi's sister literally just confirmed tom x remi OH MY GOD???!?!?!?!?!!!
remi.alaric and tomblyth posted:
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remi.alaric secret's out i guess🤭
comments:
user6 I KNEW IT WAS REMIS DOG
-> tomblyth remi’s AND my dog
-> user13 OMG THEY HAVE A CHILD TOGETHER
-> user7 😭IM😭SO😭HAPPY😭FOR😭THEM😭
rachelzegler FINALLY IVE BEEN KEEPING THIS FOR SO LONG😩
-> remi.alaric best secret keeper fr🥰love and appreciate you so much girly MWAH😘🫶
-> joshandresrivera ahem
-> remi.alaric love and appreciate you too best secret keeper #2!!!
-> stevie_alaric ummmm
-> remi.alaric you too ig even tho you spilled the beans
-> remi.alaric JK LOVE YOUUU😘😘😘
rachelzegler the amount of double date pictures i've been storing this whole time...
-> user4 RACHEL PLEASE RELEASE THEM
-> user2 you know you want to release the double date pictures rachel...😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫
-> remi.alaric the karaoke night pictures👀👀
-> joshandresrivera PLEASE NO
tomblyth i wouldn't want to keep a secret with anyone else💙
-> remi.alaric love you more than the world will ever know🩵
-> remi.alaric imagine we broke up right after posting this
-> rachelzegler REM PLEASE😭😭
-> tomblyth you're so twisted i love you so much
-> user8 THEYRE SO CUTE I LOVE THEM
-> user3 THEYRE SAYING I LOVE YOU ALREADY HOW LONG HAVE THEY BEEN TOGETHER😀😀
-> remi.alaric @tomblyth 3 years???
-> tomblyth i thought 4...
-> remi.alaric well shit may as well get married then!
-> user7 WHAT IS HAPPENING
-> stevie_alaric I CALL MAID OF HONOUR
-> rachelzegler I CALL BEST MAN
-> joshandresrivera I CALL FLOWER GIRL
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softxsuki · 1 year
Note
hi!! id like to make an urgent request please :)
tw !! mention of self harm / new sh wounds , mention of a blade
if you’re alright with it, id like to request a (romantic) hawks x gn!reader where hawks walks in on reader relapsing.
ive recently grown more and more stressed and tired lately, like my energy is constantly being drained and no matter how hard i try im not enough to stop it. and i wanna reach out for help cause i know i have friends who care about me but i just cant for some reason—i dont feel the need to ask for help cause i just dont think i deserve it. no matter how many times ill comfort others i was never strong enough to ask for the same comfort, and instead of going to someone and talking about it i turn to my blade.
hawks is a big comfort character of mine and my current hyperfix, and as embarassing as it is—reading comfort fanfics of him is a way of coping with it all. so id gladly appreciate if you could write this for me :) ++ if possible, id love if youd be able to include hawks cleaning reader’s cuts, cleaning them bringd me a sense of comfort and id love to see that in the fic.
but if you’re uncomfy about anything at all, no worries ! you dont have to write this if you dont wanna :) have a lovely day<3
Hawks Comforting Reader After They Self-Harm
please do not read if any kind of mentions of self-harm will do you more harm than good!
Pairing: Hawks x Gn!reader
Warnings: mentions of self harm, blade, blood, scars
Genre: Comfort
Post-Type: Drabble
Word Count: 750
Summary: In which your BF Hawks catches you self harming and cleans up your fresh cuts
[A/N: Hey hey, so sorry for taking so long to write this, I know it was urgent. I just happened to get sick randomly and couldn't focus to write. But I finally got this done for you! I hope you're still around to read it </3. Hopefully it provides you with some comfort. Always go to others for help before taking matters into your own hands. Even if you feel like you can't, I'm sure the people in your life would love to help you out <3 I'm here too if you ever need anything! Enjoy!]
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You look back and forth between the bloody mess in front of you to the panicked face of Keigo who had walked in on you. 
He was supposed to be gone for the whole day, patrolling his designated area until later that evening. Who knew he’d stop by to check in on you, hoping to have lunch together before continuing his patrol duties. Yet, coming home to you hovering over the bathroom sink with blood dripping from your delicate skin was not what he expected at all.
Of course he knew about your history with self-harm and could very clearly see all your past scars on your body, but he never expected to see you actively harm yourself in front of him. 
“Y/N…” He starts cautiously, eyeing the blade in your hands as you shake with regret.
“I’m sorry,” you cry, dropping the blade in the sink and moving your bleeding wrists away from his view, but he quickly closes the space between you.
Gentle hands grab your own and inspect the damage done. He rolls up the sleeves of his hero suit and gets to work on cleaning you up. With a clean towel he dabs the blood away, applying slight pressure to help stop the bleeding a little, whispering an apology whenever you flinch from the pain. 
He’s silent; contemplating how he let it get this far. He was a hero for crying out loud and the one person he wanted to keep safe the most out of everyone else in the world, managed to get harmed while he was away. He was angry and frustrated at himself that he couldn’t prevent the fresh cuts on your arms. All those nights he kissed your scars and whispered sweet promises of love and protection were all for nothing. Why couldn’t he be more useful to you?
“Keigo, I didn’t mea-” you start, but he quickly cuts you off as he finishes applying the bandage wrap to your wrist.
“I’m sorry. This isn’t your fault, it’s mine. I should have known something was off, I should have paid more attention and been around to help instead of being out. I’m sorry.”
He presses kisses to your bandaged wrist, just wishing that he could have the magical healing power that Recovery Girl’s kisses had. He wished he could kiss all your pain away and face it all himself in your stead. 
“No, no, this is all on me. You’re always there for me, telling me how much you love me and trying your best to encourage me and lift me up, but I always hold back,” you confess, snatching your arms away from him in guilt, “You’re so busy as it is saving everyone. I don’t want to add to your burdens with my own problems as well. I thought I could deal with it all alone, but I failed. I turned back to my blade because it was too much to bear on my own.”
He sighs, and this time brings you into his arms in an embrace, “That’s because we’re not meant to go through these things alone, babe. Even as a hero I don’t do things on my own either. I have a whole agency backing me up along with my other fellow heroes. No one can accomplish anything on their own without hurting themselves. So please let me be there for you to help you as much as you’ve helped me.”
Silent sobs escape your lips as he continues to hold you and speak.
“All those days when you held me after I failed to save someone. All those nights you patched me up after a mission and I stubbornly refused to go to a hospital; let me be there for you for all your tough times as well. Let me be the one to gather you up again and listen to all your worries, don’t fight your battles alone anymore. I promise you’re not a bother to me at all. I want to be there for you. It’s my job,” he reassures you. 
“All right,” you sniffle, finally wrapping your own arms around him, accepting his comfort.
He calls the agency afterwards, letting them know that he can’t come in for the rest of the day and instead spends his time with you. Listening intently to everything that’s been bubbling up in your heart, right by your side, wiping your tears away and giving you his unconditional support and love. He’s definitely making sure you don’t deal with things on your own anymore :)
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REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D
Posted 3/5/2023
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thecapricunt1616 · 2 months
Text
Blue Lotus - SxC Fic - Chapter 2
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♡ Summary: Carmy & Syd go horseback riding!!! Carmy's therapy friends push him to go for what he wants, his 'light at the end of the tunnel'
♡ W/C: 6,534
♡ Posted Date: 04/07/2024
♡ A/N: Hayoooo!!! I am too inspired... this has become a multi-chap fic hahaha I am havin' so much fun here!! Thank you @gingergofastboatsmojito for inspiring me to keep going!!! ILY! As per usual please know - this fic was inspired by THIS FIC here - Tucson by the GLORIOUS GINGER!!!! Go read that before you even THINK about reading this fic ok?! I love how I hate storer for the same reasons but im a sucker for writing a slowburn - I find myself screaming at MYSELF internally "make them kiss already!!!!" but they will KISSSS SHORTLY SO SHORTLY MY DEARSSSS !!! It will be a JUICY TAYLOR SWIFT DAYLIGHT ASS KISS OK!!!! THEY WILL ONLY SEE EACHOTHER FROM THEN ON!!!! Its gonna be a 'and I can still see it all in my mind all of you all of me intertwined I USED TO THINK LOVE WOULD BE BLACK AND WHITE BUT ITS GOLDENNNNNNN. We need Carmy to realize a few more things but then - he will be hozier level devoted to this woman even more then he already is, I hope you enjoy!!
♡ Warnings for BTC: Not really any? Like? LOL - Swearing?! Smoking cigarettes?! They just went horseback riding & carmy went to therapy- oh Ig talks of carmy getting hard LMAO but thats as crazy as we get this chapter. ➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡
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Stardust nudges his shoulder so hard he almost falls over, and he turns to look at her. His heart jumped into his throat, his mouth suddenly feeling dry. She was there, she was really there. 
“Uh-” he blinked a few times, to be sure that she wouldn’t disappear. “Syd? Hey..uh-” he felt his entire body buzzing with excitement. He couldn’t help the smile that took over his features. She looked… gorgeous. Carmen wasn’t sure there actually was a word in any human language ever to exist that could describe just how wonderful she looked. 
Her hair was in its natural state, she was wearing an adorable corduroy jacket, black jeans, and white sneakers. “You came to a farm…in those?” he motions to her shoes. 
She laughs a bit “Wow- it’s great to see you too, Carm. Didn’t realize you were…actually like living on a farm” she approached him carefully. 
“Shit- yes- fuck- It’s its so good to see you, Syd, C’mere” he pulls her into a tight, long hug. The smell of her lavender vanilla perfume nearly made him melt. 
“You’re like…tan- and…muscley now” She laughs a bit, squeezing his arm lightly. 
“Uh..” he pulled away, cheeks bright red. “Yeah uh.. It's like- fuckin hard t’ride a horse. And the um…” he rubbed his neck nervously “The uh cows.. They eat hay? Most the time, and so we need to move the bales during the morning for em, they’re like…. 75? 80 pounds? So moving like 10 back and forth every day helps. And I dont really.. Go inside? Here? Its like… uh.. Thats the therapy mostly, the animals- at least f’me” he said sheepishly. 
She nodded, looking around the stable. “That one behind you is yours? Shes been side-eying me creepily since I started talking” she pointed to Stardust. 
“Oh! Fuck sorry yea, well- no…not- not mine- I got ‘er t’trust me. But uh, yeah this is Stardust. She’s a super sweet girl” He explained. Stardust leaned in, sniffing Syds hair carefully. 
“Cute- All you’re missing is a hat” She teased.
He chuckled a bit,  “Ok, c’mon - why are you here, Syd” He said with a small smile, crossing his arms over his chest.
She shrugged, looking at the ground and kicking a rock out of the way with her shoe. “Cause…I was worried- I dunno…” She definitely wasn't going to get bold and tell him that she’d missed him, terribly.
“Ok…well now that y’here, and y’see i’m okay…wanna have some fun?” He asked, a small smile on his lips.
Syd looked back up at him, as if he had 3 heads. “Okay- Where is Carmen Berzatto- Not his… Weird alien clone- Camren Brazota” she said, laughing a bit “what do you mean fun?” She asked, and Carmy laughed, real, and genuine. 
“Well- If I didn’t change my view a little I’d never leave. So, yes, Syd, ‘a little fun never hurt noone’ - per my therapist. Shes fuckin annoying. I much prefer the horses.” He pet Star’s mane and she leaned into his touch.
“Holy shit” Syd laughed a bit. “Wow- alright. I feel like you’re a whole new man already, what kind of fun?” she mused. 
“Ever ridden a horse?” he walked over to the saddle rack, pulling off a double seated one and hanging it over the back of the stall door. 
“No- Actually, Don’t I need um…like - stuff for it?” she asked. 
“Oh don’t think I wont give you the full experience” he opened the riding closet, “Whats your shoe size?” he asked, crouching down and looking through the pairs of extras. 
“8? Er- 9 probably 9” she said. He dug through them until he found a matching pair.
“These should do, y’stuff is cool here we can just leave it in her stall” he told her, holding out his arm for her to hold while she switched her shoes.
“You seem like…” she said as she slipped off her sneaker and put on the boot. “I dunno…chill- well- i wont go that far- but chill-er then before.” Carm snorted a laugh, holding on to her arm to steady her. 
“Thanks? I guess..that’s good right?” He asked. 
“Yeah! Yeah of course…I mean, it’s nice. To see you not so…anxious.” She said, slipping the other boot on. 
“Yeah I um…” he cleared his throat, opening the stall door. “I uh..I’m takin meds- Now? Uh..all this shit. Y’know they have me like tranquilized more then these guys” he said and she laughs, Carmen smiled proudly at the fact, relishing in the wonderful sound. 
“But yeah like Like 3 er..er 4. they say I had all this uh..mental shit. Goin’ on w’me and that’s why I was all…wound up I guess” he explained, calling Star out and getting her harness situated. 
Syd caught herself staring at his arms as he worked, how the toned muscle moved beneath the fabric of the shirt. 
“Aren’t you freezing?” She asked, noticing he wasn’t wearing a jacket like she was. 
“Used to it now, well- I mean the moving around. It gets hot this shit is heavy. Wanna try to hold the saddle?” He asked, unhooking the saddle from the stall door where he’d left it momentarily. 
“It can’t be that bad” she countered. 
“I think this thing weighs probably as much as you do.” He said “hold out your arms” he smiled a bit. 
She lifted her arms out in front of her and he plops the saddle down, she had to plant one of her feet forward so she didn’t fall face first due to the sudden weight and he laughed, catching the saddle quickly and baring most the weight. 
“Told you” he teased. 
She rolled her eyes “yeah whatever. Saddle up the horse, cowboy” she dropped the saddle back in his arms. He hurled the saddle over Stars back with a grunt. 
“Fuckin hell” he huffed, realizing since the saddle was nearly double the weight as his usual, and being on the shorter end- he couldn’t just get it on her when she was standing straight. “Bow” he told the horse and she just stared at Sydney. 
“Don’t embarrass me, Star. Bow” he told her and she looked the other way. 
“So uhhh…this one’s trained, huh?” Sydney teased. 
Carmen looked back at her “mmhmm maybe she doesn’t like strangers” he said, walking over to the other side. 
“Since she’s bein difficult y’gonna have T’help. C’mere” he waved her over and she followed. “So when I push it up, just grab the saddle pad and make sure it doesn’t move, yea?” He asked. 
“The fuck is a saddle pad, dude- I know my way around a kitchen not a fuckin horse stable.” She looked at the many different layers the horse was already wearing. 
“Alright. So this,” he lifted the cloth, “is her blanket. Keeps her core warm. And beneath it” he pats the pad “this is her saddle pad, it makes it more comfortable. So our bones aren’t like..diggin in her back and shit. Also shock, when she jumps the foam of it helps our weight disperse. The saddle is so big and heavy I can’t keep the pad still at the same time, so just hold it f’me,” he took her hand, guiding it to where he wanted her to hold. 
She felt her heartbeat quicken, his hands were so large and calloused on top of her own. She nodded wordlessly, keeping her eyes trained on where she was meant to be holding and focusing on keeping it steady as he went back around and carefully lifted up the heavy saddle with a grunt, laying it over the horses back. 
“Jesus- how much can this thing carry” Syd asked. 
“Well she is a mare, she weighs about…mmm- 1900? She can comfortably hold about 400 pounds for a decent distance but she can’t do that for hours and hours at a time. We together can’t be more then 300, and her gear is less then 100 pounds. Were just goin f’r a quick ride, I gotta get to therapy at 3” he explained as he buckled on her saddle. 
“Ah. So you’ve been memorizing horse information instead of creating recipes? I figured when I got here you’d have gone nuts by now without being in a kitchen so long” she gently touched the horses mane as she spoke. 
“Maybe. Well…I am kinda goin crazy? But I can’t…let it out?” He chuckled a bit “does that make sense? Nights are a little hard before my sleep meds kick in but that just says I haven’t done enough that day” he got up. “So y’gettin up first since I’m sittin in back” he explained. 
“Oh…uh- ok how do I?” She asked looking up at the at least 7 foot tall animal. 
“Y’not gonna be able to do it alone. C’mere” he told her. She comes over and looks at him. 
“How the fuck do you do this?” She looked up at the saddle that was at the top of her head before looking back at him. 
“So-“ he snorts a laugh at her wide confused expression. “She’s not gonna like you trying to roll up on her back, and I don’t want you t’get thrown off, she can be moody with new people. I almost broke my shoulder my first time trying to ride her” he said and she crossed her arms slightly. 
“So how. How do I get up there?” She asked. He pulled out a step stool, setting it next to the horse and getting up on the third step. 
“I’m giving you a lift. Arms up” he said with a playful smirk. 
“No- no way- Carmen that’s too high. You’ll drop me!!” She took a step back, feeling slightly nervous. 
“I won’t because I’ll bribe her Syd. C’mere” he pulled a pack of peep marshmallows out of his pocket and the horse nearly starts dancing. 
“Carm- what the fuck is happening?” She asked and Carmy chuckled. 
“Bow. Cmon Syd wants t’ride. Bow and you’ll get y’treat star.” He told the horse. 
It obediently bowed down and before Syd could process what was happening, Carm was scooping her up beneath her arms Syd squealed in surprise. “Oh my GOD WHY ARE YOU PICKING ME UP!” She shrieked, wiggling in his arms. 
“open y’legs! Cmon! she’s gonna get up!!!” Carmen laughed holding her up higher. Syd finally obeyed and he gently plopped her on the first saddle. “Good girl” he told the horse, feeding her the marshmallow and putting the packet in his pocket again before swiftly getting on behind Syd. 
“Alright. Hard part done.” He reached around her waist, and she lifted her arms slightly. 
“What- can you tell me what’s going on? I’m a horse virgin!” She said, and they both went quiet for a moment, before cracking up laughing. Syd leaned to her left slightly as she tried catching her breath, grabbing the rein for stability and tugging. 
Star took off sprinting, Syd screamed in surprise, her body going tight with fear. Carmen quickly wrapped his arms around Syds waist protectively, tugging on the reigns “WOOOOAH!” He called to Star and she quickly came to a stop. 
“Stand.” He told the horse firmly. 
“What the fuck Carm I thought she was trained!” Syd exclaimed, gripping onto his forearms for dear life. 
“I gotchu, you think I’d let her kick you off?” He tightened his arms around her. Carmen swore his heart was thumping so hard that she felt it on her shoulder blade. 
“Also when she moves it’s hard to keep still.” She said nervously. 
“Don’t worry, I gotchu, Syd. Lean into me, if our weight is centered then it’ll be easier for all 3 of us” he gently pushed at her stomach. 
She leaned back into his broad chest, “see” he said softly. He was lucky the angle didn’t allow for her to see him, because his face was bright red, And having her body pressed against his…was making him flush somewhere else too. 
He clicked his tongue and Stardust started walking again, at an easy comfortable trot. “This…is ok.” She said, much more comfortable now. 
“I’m gonna take you t’one of my favorite spots.” He said, pulling on the reins to the left lightly so she would follow the left trail. 
“Wow, already sharing secret spots huh? I think this therapist may just be Doctor of the year I don’t even think I’ve seen your favorite Chicago spots” she teased. 
Carm laughed a bit, he felt so much lighter with Syd around. And life had been lighter ever since he got here. 
“How is…uh- how is it back home?” He cleared his throat lightly. It was something that had being weighing on him. Yes, he was here, he was doing the thing. He was making Sugar happy. He was making Syd happy…but he would go back, at some point. 
And his biggest fear was things will just go right back. He won’t have this outlet, he won’t have sunset rides with Stardust to ease his mind. He won’t have the cows happily running up to him and greeting him when he was the first one to bring out a bale of hay. He felt like if he was here, he may have the confidence to tell Syd how he feels. But back home? It was another life. 
“Fine..things are..y’know. The usual shit. But nothing bad, no one’s getting locked in any freezers if that’s what you mean” she said playfully. 
Carm rolled his eyes with a light smile. “Mmhmm. So the restaurant is-“ 
“Is fine.” She said. “I’d have told you. You know that.” She said and he nodded a bit. 
“I know she scared you back there…but it’s pretty fun to go fast. You wanna try?” He asked. 
She shifted a bit uncomfortably, her hands tightening around his arms that were holding the reins around her waist. “Uhh…maybe? Are you sure we won’t fall off?” She questioned. 
“I’m sure. Here you can be the one to control it. Start light ok? With your legs.” He gently ran his hands down her thighs to right below her knees “here” he said softly, squeezing the flesh gently so she wouldn’t have to lean and look. “With that part of your legs, give her a little squeeze. But really light, or we’ll take out of here like a bat out of hell” he held around her waist again, securely holding the reins. 
“Mmhmm” she said, she was beginning to feel hot- and not because she’d done any hard work in regards to getting the horse ready. 
“Alright. Whenever you’re ready, you’re the boss” he said the last part softly in her ear. If it wasn’t for her jacket, he would see the goosebumps that had risen on her arms. She nodded quickly, staring straight ahead and trying to maintain her composure. 
“So I just?” She squeezed gently and the horse picks up her speed slightly. “Oh…ok” she said. 
“Told y’she was trained” Carmy teased and she rolls her eyes. 
“Mmm you’ve done a very good job, bribing this horse with peeps. The staff know you do this?” She asked. Carmy snorted a laugh
“No. But she’s healthy. Made sure. She only gets one or 2 if she doesn’t listen.” He admitted. 
She shook her head with a smile. “And how’d you find this out, Carm?” She leaned into him once more. 
“I…” he laughed a bit, his chest vibrating with the movement and it made her heart warm. 
“I uh…spent a few days in the library here. Reading up. After she threw me off. It’s all about trust with em. So I never lied to ‘er and I’ve never done something she didn’t expect because I always try to warn her.” He said, pulling her reigns a bit tighter. 
“This is like a joyride Syd cmon, I said fast not an evening stroll.” He teased. 
“Fine. Mister horse master- show me what Miss Stardust can do.” She said. 
With 2 kisses and a quick tap of his heel, they were off like a rocket. He held Syd steady, being sure she wouldn’t have to do most the work of holding herself center as he gripped each reign with the opposite hand, holding them taught so Star knew to keep going. 
Syd laughed, the wind flicking her dark curls all around. He wished she could see her amused expression. “Holy shit this is the best!” She shouted over the loud thuds of Stars hoofbeats. 
“I know right! Can you believe she can go faster?” He said, holding his knees taut around her hips to keep her from sliding. 
“Okay we are not! This is fine!” She said and sat up a bit “are we going into the-” She asks as Star begins to barrel through a creek, the freezing water spraying up and around them getting them slightly wet, the freezing water splashing from their calves up to their cheeks.. “CARMY!” She screams through laughter. 
He could barely catch his breath as he laughed so hard his stomach and ribs ached. “I’m sorry!! Syd! Oh god-“ he chuckled “woah girl- woah” he called to the course and she slowed down once again to a stop. 
“Fuck-“ Carmen chuckled “you okay?” He asked, picking a wet leaf from her jacket and throwing it to the forest floor. 
“Yeah- I’m.. I’m fine. That was really fun actually. C’mon I wanna see the spot” she said and took it upon herself to tug the reins so Star would take off again
“Shi-it!” He quickly finds his balance, “warn me!! Oh god I almost flew off!!” He told her. 
“You think I’d let her throw you off?” She mimics him from earlier and he takes the chance to playfully pinch her waist 
“Yes because who’s in back and who’s in front?” He wrapped his arms around her again, taking the reins from her grasp. “Your reign privileges have been revoked for this riding lesson, Ms.Adamu”  
She laughed a bit “I’ll earn them back. Don’t worry” she mused. 
“Mmm we need to talk about more shit before I just literally hand the reins over. Coulda spooked her and we’d be fuckin dead.” he angled the outside reigns so she’d slow down as they came to the clearing. 
“Here we are” he hopped off, raising his arms to help her down. 
She carefully reached out for him and he lifted her off, gently setting her down. “Holy fuck Carmy” she turned around, watching the waterfall cascade down over the rocks. 
“Right! Told you. It’s a fire spot” he went over to one of the rocks he usually sat at, plopping down and taking out a cigarette. “Oh- shit- can’t have y’running off” he told Stardust and chuckled, leaving the cigarette between his lips as he walked over to her, guiding her over to the tree, and hooking her right rein around a branch before sitting back down. 
“Yeah…I can’t remember the last time I went somewhere so…” she trailed off, looking at all the trees and running water. 
“Green?” Carmy lit his cigarette, taking a drag. “Not packed with smog? Somewhere that doesn’t smell like shit.” He said as he exhaled. 
“…yeah” she said and laughed a bit. “Yeah. Guess that’s it.” She came and sat next to him. “What did you mean about her getting scared?” She asked curiously. 
“Oh- a scared horse will fucking kill you. Not on purpose, but they’re big and pure muscle, and will do anything to get away from danger. I scared the shit out of her one time, that was it. Dislocated my shoulder 8th day here. Doing that hurts like a bitch by the way.” He rolled his shoulder gently. 
“How’d you manage that? God I knew you were shit at chatting up girls but she dislocated your shoulder?” She teased. 
He rolled his eyes with a playful smile, taking another drag. “Yes, I was fuckin around on the trail, dunno why- but there was this branch sticking out so I grabbed it, it snapped, she fuckin reeeared dude. I flew back so hard. My back might still be bruised I’m not sure. Still hurts a little to laugh” he said. 
“You better have seen a doctor” she said. 
“Ohhh silly Syd.” He sighed, a puff of smoke filling the air in front of him. “We aren’t allowed to refuse treatment here. If you get hurt, and you refuse to get help, it’s considered self harm, which leads to them believing you have suicidal ideation, which leads to you being locked in the actual nuthouse. So yes. I willingly went to the doctor daily for a week. And now, I’m being checked on once a week. So yeah. Oh and therapy daily. And every day I’m given my meds and someone checks over ‘pre-existing injuries’ which that is now considered. So yeah. I’m good. I’m fuckin fine as fine can be.” He said. 
“Awww poor little chef, being taken care of so well that’s so hard isn’t it?” She teased and he gives her a playful glare, but couldn’t help but crack a smile when he realized she was smiling too. 
“I was being taken care of fine at home by myself but you and my sister just had to ship me off after one tiny accident” he leaned back on his hand, taking another drag of his cigarette. 
“It stops becoming an accident when you didn’t care, Carm. You didn’t care. It didn’t phase you. You weren’t even…you weren’t even scared. Just because you didn’t do it on purpose doesn’t mean you did the sane thing which would have been doing everything you could to not let something like that happen.” She said, her tone suddenly serious. 
He looked down at his lap, swallowing thickly. He suddenly felt all of the armor he’d spent the last 31 days chipping at, slowly start to meld back together and shell him back in at the shame the whole situation was making him feel. 
“I have nightmares…you know. About it. What happened” she said quietly, and he could physically feel his heart ripping open. 
The only sound between them was the bubbling stream, and the sounds of their even breaths. 
“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, gaze fixed on his lap knowing he would burst into tears at the admission she’d been so deeply plagued by something he’d done, if he had looked at her.
“I know” was all she said, gently resting her hand on top of his. He felt the same fireworks exploding in his chest that he only ever felt when she was around. 
“Do you um…” he clears his throat and shook his head, embarrassed by the question plaguing his mind. “Never mind it’s..it’s stupid.” He removed his hand, putting his cigarette in it and resting the hand opposite of her on the rock. 
“That usually means it’s not stupid. What?” She coaxed, bumping his knee with hers gently. 
“It’s stupid” he said again, shrugging his shoulders. 
“It can’t be stupider then asking me what UPS means” She said playfully. He rolled his eyes, smiling and looking over at her. 
“And what if it is?” He questioned. 
“I would be..worried they’re giving you a bad concoction of meds that’s turning your glorious chef brain in to Swiss cheese” she teased 
He snorts a laugh. “I was gonna ask..if you wanted to cook..t’night. My cabin…it uh- has a kitchen? I haven’t cooked in a month. They give us food so I haven’t really bothered but…seeing you makes me miss it more, I guess” he blushed, looking back down at his lap. 
“Well obviously. Not gonna let you eat whatever bullshit they’ve been giving you while I’m around.” She said and he shook his head, meeting her gaze once more with a playful smirk. 
“Maybe you should check in. My therapist says it’s bad apparently to feel ‘responsible for others’ - says it’s a ‘subconscious self harming behavior’ “ he teased. 
She smiled a bit. “Okay- say I do. How about, I check in now, we shoot the shit for what- eleven more days- then, you go back home- and see how stressful it is in that restaurant when one of your hands is basically missing” she plucked the cigarette bud he’d forgotten about from between his fingers before it burnt him, flicking it into the creek. 
“You know that’s the first time I’ve seen you smoke- other then…me like checking on you when you were about to explode at work. But you’ve never…pulled one out and smoked it I guess” she said, pulling her knees to her chest and resting her cheek on her forearm as she looked at him. 
“Oh…” he said, pulling one of his legs up and resting his arm on it. “Didn’t realize you noticed” he said, brushing some dirt off his jeans. 
“I notice a lot of stupid shit about you, it’s kinda annoying honestly.” She said without thinking, her eyes widening when she realized and she looked the other way, resting her other cheek on her knee and squeezing her eyes shut. 
Why would you ever say that?! She asked herself internally. 
“Oh?” He said again, smiling a bit. “You do?” He questions, but that was as far as he’d push. 
“Mhm” was all she responded. Carmys phone started buzzing in his pocket and he pulled it out in case it was one of the ‘base keepers’ they called them. Carmy rather call them babysitters. He knew what they were for, being sure if they were out of sight too long they were making sure they could still get ahold of them. 
He sighed in relief when he saw it was just his 2:40 alarm. “Gotta go” he stood up, offering his hand to Syd. “Like- now. Or my ass is getting chewed out.” 
The ride back to the cabins was mostly silent. He had no stool this time, so he had to pick up Syd essentially by the ass and gently place her on Stars back so she didn’t get spooked. 
He was embarassed as fuck that the tiny action had the crotch region of his jeans tightening more then was casually explainable. Thank god no one was around to see him awkwardly hop in the way of his semi hard third leg down his left pant leg, grunting but covering it with a dry cough when she settled her ass back into him to ‘center their gravity’ 
Syd absolutely felt the firmness pressing into her ass. She thought it was a bit funny, but also brushed it off to the strange friction that came with riding a horse. She couldn’t allow herself to fully believe his teenage like excitement was due to her, or she’d go insane. 
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Carmy dropped Syd off at his cabin, giving her the key and telling her he’d put up Stardust and be back by 5, she would be blushing if it weren’t for her mahogany complexion at the domesticity of it all - er what she could imagine domesticity with Carmy would feel like. 
Her panties were also soaked through from the feeling of his enormous length pressed into the curve of her ass - the entire way back - but she just chalked that up to not getting laid for a few months, and misreading his natural arousal for him being horny- she quickly pushed the thought down and just chalked it up to the horse. Because guys get hard when they ride horses…right? Right?!
Carmen arrived to therapy extremely frustrated, and extremely ready to talk. He sat down in his regular spot in the back, tapping his knee nervously and covering his crotch with his hands. Luckily, thinking about his mother was enough to make him soft nearly instantly so he had that to thank her for at least. 
“Alright guys!” Julienne, the usual Friday therapist came in, sitting in her spot in the circle. “Who is up today! We are-“ she looks at her iPad “oh! Yes this is another OP class, so- no pressure but, I wanna hear what’s goin on!” She crossed her legs. 
Julie was far from his favorite therapist, at Blue Lotus. But he wasn’t his least favorite. So he would still talk. He cleared his throat, raising his hand slightly. 
“Carmy?! What a treat! Okay what’s up” she grabbed her little stylus pencil. He bit the inside of his lip nervously. He despised how casual she tried to make this all feel. 
“Uh…so- my um…business partner, she came to see me. I guess I haven’t been…keeping touch? Enough? She just said she was worried…” he cleared his throat again, gaze fixed on his lap. “And uh…I’m startin’ t’-t’realize stuff?” He sniffled nervously, rubbing his mouth with slightly clammy, nervous hands. 
“She uh..” he chuckled a bit. “She…she just…showed up. Didn’t hear shit from ‘er. She probably knew that I’d uh…I’d tell ‘er no?” He finally meets the gaze of Julie. 
“Okay. You know guests are allowed right? Like- during the visiting hours, 6am to 11pm, no fraternizing between patients but-“ Carmen cuts her off
“We aren’t - no. Not fraternizing” He shook his head. “But uh…today? We were- we were sitting. This spot, near uh, Jupiter point? On the north side. And I had this- this urge T-to tell her…everything.” He shook his head, looking at the floor again. 
“So…you wanted to tell her you love her?” Jesse, one of the guys he’d had lunch with a few times piped up. 
“T’be honest, I don’t know.” Carmen said honestly, looking at him. 
“Well what does it feel like?” Jesse asked, sitting up a bit. 
“What? Like- what does what feel like?” Carmen asked curiously. 
“Her. Being with her. Talking to her? Inside. Like. Your chest. Your skin?” He questioned. 
“Uh…” Carmen sat back, swallowing thickly and crossing his arms over his chest. He thought for a moment. 
“Hot. I get hot. All over. My chest feels tight but - but good? Like- a hug almost. And then…when she…” he blushed, looking down with a shy smile. “When she touches me” he shook his head slightly. “When she touches me it’s like um.. fireworks? Like fireworks beneath my skin.” He chuckled a bit at how cheesy it sounded. 
“And you haven’t fucking nailed her?” Jessie asked plainly. 
Carmen furrowed his brows, glaring at him. “No” he clenched his jaw “I haven’t.” He snips. 
“Dude- you are- pussy whipped with no pussy?! You- you love her, Carmen. You love this chick. I feel like I’m looking in a weird straight mirror - the first time-“ he laughed a bit “the first time I kissed a guy- god. He was so hot. But I had no idea! I had no idea. I really thought that I was just-“ he shook his head “that I was just wanting to befriend him? Or something? But like- I wanted to fuck him. And when I did kiss him? Something unlocked in my brain dude. It was like…like a whole new world. I felt like I knew - I knew what love could feel like? Just ‘cause of that one kiss “ he shrugged. 
Carmen looked at him, arms crossed, trying to absorb everything he was saying even though every fiber of his former self was screaming to take it with nothing more than a grain of salt. 
“Kiss her dude. Kiss her.” Jesse said and sat back in his chair. 
“Well. Although, consensual sexual instances are against the code of conduct to discuss - I am very proud to see you two coming out of your shells. Has anyone else felt… confused in their romantic endeavors and would like to share?” Julie asked. 
Carmen crossed his arms tighter, looking down at his lap. This was quite unusual for him, he was one of the patients to only add what he had to to be credited during inpatient, and during outpatient - only spoke when he really and honestly had to. 
“Uh-“ the super tall girl, Shayna sits up. Carmen was never really sure why she was here. She looked…perfect by all means. Perfect skin, perfect nails, pretty face, long blonde hair, a perfect body by girl standards. Or at least what Carmen had understood of them.
 “Not really the same.. but before I came out? I like…I would uh buy…girl clothes. That I liked. For my girlfriends at the time…” she blushed “and um.. I realized after a while that I liked them. And I wasn’t just..wanting to see my girlfriend in them. And like- it’s not the exact same, but when he said… about how Jesse realized he wanted the guy. That’s how I felt when I finally tried the clothes on” she shrugged. 
Carmen was…aghast. He just simply stared at her. He’d never met- or thought-  he’d ever met a trans person before today. But…Shayna? 
Well- he was wrong because he had met her, they actually knew each other fairly well as far as patients go, she joined the program when he did. When they first met, she’d made a joke about how they were the tallest girl and shortest guy in the class, so that meant they were bound to be friends, since opposites attract - and that earned a chuckle out of him before his meds had even fully evened out. 
“I love the cis-and-confused look- it’s cute” she said and laughed a bit. Carmen blushed, smiling a bit. 
“Not confused- well, maybe. Maybe a little. Y’Just so…dainty? I dunno..” he shrugged. 
“In case you haven’t noticed- mr.little man syndrome- you’re only one out with the cows doing the hay on time in the morning. Ninty percent of the group is your version of dainty ” Jesse teased. 
“Jesse” Julie gives him the look. “I’d assume that means- the rest of you that aren’t out helping with the bales- are scraping out the cow pens? Since Carmen is doing all the hard work according to you.” 
“I’m not girl- fuck no! The second I got out of inpatient house arrest? I walked my happy ass down to Walmart and bought me some blackout curtains. I recommend those to all of you! Oh my god and some ear plugs!! The stupid fucking roosters! Worst 15 days of my lifeee! I’m never coming back here peace and love to you all though. Truly. Can’t stand this cow shit stank ass place.”  Shayna said dramatically, causing Carmen to chuckle a bit.
 He had loved her boldness since they’d met. If Shayna didn’t want to do something- she wasn’t doing it. He learned that the day the staff tried to force her on anti-depressants. One of the main therapists got a Wellbutrin straight to the eye, they never attempted that battle the same way again. 
“We know Shayna you aren’t shoveling scat, princesses don’t do that” Jesse mocked her valley girl tone. 
“Okay! Okay. Alriiiight! Back on track- done with the bickering!” Julie said. “Now that open call is over let’s move on to breakthroughs. This issss-“ she looks at her iPad “ah- yes! D group. So. That makes it-“ he checks her watch “ah- right. 11 days! How are your light tunnel projects going?” She questioned. 
Carmen’s chest tightened, but not in the Syd is smiling or he made Syd laugh way- in the - I haven't done something I was meant to do way. 
The Light Tunnel project wasn’t hard. It was simply one thing you have done that you had wanted to do when you came into the program. And Carmy knew what his answer was, 
Admit how he felt to Sydney. 
Or, as his Therapist- Mandy told him ‘become more truthful with yourself and those you know about how you feel’ because “counting on someone to like him back would put him at square one” he had pretended to understand, but knew that he had to tell her and soon - or he was going to really go insane. 
“ my light tunnel was to talk to my asshole father- but lucky for me I just caught wind the motherfucker finally died thank god. So by default I win and don’t have to be here anymore cause his abandonment was what fucked me up anyhow“ Shayna said jokingly, causing Carm to snort a laugh. He knew she was only joking about the leaving early part, not the father part. Her father was an even bigger piece of shit then Carmen’s was, he had come to learn.
“Mmm that isn’t how it works we know that Shayna. We’ll talk more about this in one to one “ Julie told her and Shayna crossed her long legs, looking out the window. 
The last 20 minutes of the session Carmen sat silently, looking out the opposite window to Shayna, watching the horses running around in the field before they got called in for dinner and just spacing out, thinking about what he may say to Syd. 
“Yo - Carm space cadet” Shayna said before kicking his boot he jumped a bit, looking up at them both and had realized the room since had cleared and Julie was preparing for her next session. 
“Shit.” He said “how long have I been like…like that?” He asked, his cheeks feeling hot. 
“It’s the OCD meds. They get you stuck in a happy thought loop sometimes. Are you just gonna sit here? You wanna do another hour of this with sniveling group a? They got here three days ago.” Jesse said. Carm shook his head, getting up. 
“No- no sorry” he said starting with them outside. Shayna laughed a bit 
“You were thinking of screwing that business partner aren’t you. “ she said, causing Carmys cheeks to go pinker. 
“Shayna shut up!” Jesse scolded, pushing her shoulder lightly. 
“Awwww carmyyy are your feelings hurt little buddy? Do you need a hug? Jesus men are such pussys” she pushed open the doors of the therapy cabin for them. 
“Let me see pictures of this hot chick. If you don’t fuck her I will and I bet I’d do a better job” Shayna teased as they started heading back towards the cabins. 
Carmen couldn’t even process what she said as he felt his breath get caught in his chest, he saw her. She was sitting on the porch of his cabin, criss-cross in one of the rocking chairs as she writes in her notebook. He couldn’t help but stop and stare at the way the setting sun hit her bronze skin, her curls casting intricate patterned shadows on the wood. He felt his heart pick up, his chest squeezing in that way, the way that only happened when he saw her. 
Shayna and Jesse stopped after a few moments when they realized Carm had gotten stuck behind. They both follow his gaze carefully to see what he was so fixed on, like a trance. 
“Holy fuuuck!!! Holy fuck how did I get this lucky!! She’s here? She’s here still?!” Shana asked excitedly, “oh my god- you’re getting laid- tonight” she excitedly skips up to the cabin and Syd looks up, locking eyes with her before seeing Carmen just a few paces behind.  “I’m Shayna! Do you and Carm wanna hang out with us tonight?”
➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡♡♡
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serendipity-by-chance · 7 months
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because of that one post i wanna talk about things in sw fics that instantly make me click out lol. im not naming any but yeah. like okay i may not always click out cause some of them are cool so yeah
1. when they make anakin too pathetic lol. like not the funny kind but weird pathetic💀💀 anakin was a smart guy lol. like dumb in a funny way but anakin was good with strategy. he was open and honest too. when those qualities of him are taken is that even anakin?
2. when the jedi council know about anidala. like guys that’s not possible. please. the thousands of years of rules wont change cause of 1 guy. be so serious. anakin isnt that important to the jedi council. just make him leave the order😭😭 he’d be happier without being there.
3. undermining padme. need some people to read her novels to know how determined padme was to create a better world. she was a fighter till the end. her dying is more than just anakin. everything she ever believed in was shattered. some of u dont get her the way i do.
4. okay this might be funnily weird but when satine isnt mentioned!! lol. like it can have other obi wan ships but when obi was centric thing happens and he talks about love and all but doesnt mention satine? mind u thats the woman he was willing to leave the order for😭😭 stop acting like disney who like to pretend padme never existed. yall do the same with satine.
5. i love time travel fics but some of them having characters that instantly blurt out the truth instead of pausing and thinking what will happen if i do this.
6. LAST AND MOST IMPORTANT. when yall take one side with the parents. istg. leia is breha and bail’s kid and she is also anakin and padme’s. anakin and padme were created based off of luke and leia😭😭 you can’t change the similarities between them because it EXISTS FOR A REASON. but also you dont get to ignore bail and breha’s hand in raising leia. if leia was left to be raised by vader she’d be twisted into sth evil. leia’s goodness and righteousness and sense of justice, all of which she inherited from padme and anakin, was ALSO taught by bail and breha. they taught her to be a good person. someone who fights for justice and freedom. leia is all of their legacy. please stop picking sides it’s gross. anakin and padme didnt have a choice when it came to parenting leia because one was dead and the other thought leia was dead but they loved her from the moment they knew they would have a child. anakin was even convinced it would be a girl and he was so excited. to not acknowledge that is insulting really. and also, it was bail and breha who raised her and loved her. she was their child. their pride. to not acknowledge everything leia is BECAUSE of them is also insulting. i need fic writers to do better
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itsyourstarboy · 1 year
Text
Streamer!Honey Headcanons Pt.5
First Part
AT LONG LAST.... THE STREAMER!HONEY HEADCANONS FINALE
Note: This may be the last part, but it is not the end of Streamer!Honey!!! Just the long-winded headcanon posts. I have more planned for the future ^^ mini-fics, shitposts, all sorts of shenanigans <3
The punch became a meme. Honey hates it, and Guy hates that Honey hates it.
But god if it isn’t hilarious.
It took a good few months for Honey to stop beating themself up over it, and now they are able to look back on it and laugh. They even have a GIF of the moment as an alert for gifted subs.
Charity streams!!! Honey loves doing them. It’s fun, and for a good cause.
And, though it’s fun, sometimes it can get out of hand.
It was meant to be a joke! But, before they knew it, they hit the donation goal...
♡♡♡♡♡♡
HFDJSFEJGGFJSK
IM FREAKING OUT
CANTWAITCANTWAITCANTWAIT
I can’t believe they’re actually doing this 🤭🤭🤭
I DONT KNOW IF MY GAY LITTLE HEART WILL BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT
The sound of the door opening made chat go mostly still.
Honey, very reluctantly with an embarrassed scowl on their face, stepped into camera view.
They stood stiffly, pondering how they ended up here. Here, on stream, in front of thousands of perfect strangers...
Wearing a maid outfit.
Not even a comfortable one! It was frilly, and itchy, and the skirt was way too fucking short.
OMFGNO I FCKING CANT-
🤣🤣🤣🤣
I CANT BREATHE
OH MY GOOOOOOOD
You look so cute!!!
THIS WAS SO WORTH THE MONEY
IM WHEEZING AND I CANT FIND MY INHALERR
HSGJJFHZJAHHAHAHAH
Oh 😳😳
WHY IT LOOK KINDA GOOD THO??
[HONEY’S] TOO HOT THEY KILLED SOMEBODY
“I hate everything,” Honey muttered, as they tried to tug the dress down. It was bad enough that it was so revealing, but it also wouldn’t zip up all the way.
♡♡♡♡♡♡
It would only get worse, however, as the next goal would add thigh highs.
And the one after that would add...
SAY NYA RIGHT FUCKING NOW
AaaaawwwWWWW WHAT A CUTE KITTY
You mean “right fucking meow?”
THEY LOOK SO PISSED LMAO
SAY NYA RIGHT FUCKING MEOW
They’re gonna kill us 😭😭😭😭
IM QUEER
With what? Their wittle paws?? 😽😽
This is my phone lockscreen now
Simp
“Yeah, you all better enjoy this, ‘cause I’m never doing it again.”
Doubt it, this is the fastest we’ve ever raised money
NOOOOOOOOO
Still waiting for you to say nya
NYAAAAAANTS INGONYAMA BAGITHI BABA
ITS THE CIIIIIIIIRRRRCLE OF LIIIIIIIIIFEEE
“I’m not saying that.”
tf you’re not-
★someone donated $50★
SAY NYA BITCH
Honey heaved out a sigh that bordered a growl, and very blandly, “nya.”
As Chat cheered and went practically feral, Honey could only be glad that this couldn’t possibly get any wors-
They froze as they heard the Jaws theme start playing.
“Oh f-”
HE’S HEEEERE
YEEEEEEEESS
HoneysHeaven: wowah 😳
THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER
HOLY CRAP SOMEONE TAGGED HIM ON TWITTER 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
HoneyHeaven: hey there Honey ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
SOMEONE SNITCHED????
Honey braced their elbows on their desk and hid their face in their hands. “Go back to working.”
HoneysHeaven: I will if you promise to still be wearing that when I get home 👀👀
“I’m burning it as soon as this stream ends.”
NOO YOU CANT BURN IT YOU LOOK SO SEXYY 😩😩
The boy just wants to see you all dolled up Boo, let him have his treat
“The next 15 minutes are going to be hell.”
HoneysHeaven: oooh the next goal you put on a collar, hm? 😏😏
Guy ur killing even me rn
OH WAIT I JUST GOT GUYS USERNAME
HoneysHeaven: Honey can you send me like $70
“I am not sending you money.”
HoneysHeaven: awww cmon 🥺🥺 my break ends in 2 minutes I just want to see you in a collar
ITS FOR CHARITY
DONATE TO THE CAUSE
“I’ll put you in a collar,” Honey grumbled with their arms crossed tightly.
HoneysHeaven: wouldn’t be the first time 😉
HOW DO WE RAISE ANOTHER 500 IN 10 MINUTES
AYO WHAT????
Guy likes interrupting Honey’s streams unprompted. He loves seeing the smile on their face. The gentle one that they wear while doing what they love. It makes him want to smother them in kisses.
Sometimes when he does this, he forgets about the mask and glasses. There have been plenty of times where he’s nearly accidentally exposed his face to the world, and it gives his honey a mini heart attack each time.
Honey made the executive decision to rearrange their setup so that the door was no longer in view. That way, Guy could spontaneously enter as much as he pleased.
Honey was still streaming when Guy returned home from work. They had told him in advance that this stream would be dragging on a bit longer than normal.
♡♡♡♡♡♡
Honey looked up as they heard the door click open. Guy entered, waving a paper bag around.
“Honeeeey,” he sang, “I’ve brought you somethiiiiing.”
is that the boy i hear 👀👀👀
EVERYONE SHUT UP I NEED TO WITNESS THIS
DETROIT CAN WAIT THIS IS IMPORTANT
Honey eyed the bag skeptically as Guy drew closer, “should I be worried?”
“No,” Guy laughed, stopping right outside of the camera’s view. “I brought you donuts!”
“Ooh, really? What’s your motive?”
“Wha-? Motive!? Why do you think I would have a motive?”
Honey raised an eyebrow at their boyfriend and smirked.
Immensely offended, Guy scoffed, “what, am I not allowed to bring the most important person in my life a treat? Purely out of my own volition and the kindness of my heart?”
“I was joking before, but now I’m actually suspicious...”
“Just take the donuts, Honey,” Guy softly spoke with a warm smile, holding out the bag and leaning forward.
When Honey’s hand brushed against his own, Guy leaned closer, his other hand cupping the back of their neck. He held the bag up to hide his face from viewers as he placed a gentle kiss on his partners cheek.
Honey, growing ever more flustered, let out a nervous chuckle as they pushed Guy away and accepted the gifts.
AWWWWHDWSAIHDGDKDSBIDS
ITS HAPPENING
OMG
NO
DID HE KISS THEM??
WHERE IS THE CLIP I NEED TO SEE THAT AGAIN
When you’re so lonely you’re living vicariously through someone in your screen
UH YEAH THATS THE POINT
OF COURSE
I GOT THE CLIP I GOT IT
Chat wouldn’t stop talking about it for the entire rest of the stream.
And for the next 4 streams after that...
Chat knows that Guy is important to Honey. No other roommate of theirs has ever become such a big part of their life, everyone knows that they have to be something more.
They stopped bugging Honey about it after a year. It's just kind of common knowledge that these two have a lot of chemistry, but asking straight up about their relationship won't work.
Not that having an answer would change anything, Chat loves seeing how happy Honey is with Guy.
It took a little over a year for Honey to agree, but finally they are streaming a game with Guy!!
They're playing Raft. Honey in their streaming room, and Guy in the living room. They're communicating through discord, and Chat is having a blast.
♡♡♡♡♡♡
"Did you finish building that engine yet?" Honey asked, filling a chest with some items.
"No, I thought you were going to do it," Guy answered.
"I literally told you to go ahead and make one two minutes ago!"
"I was busy distracting the shark while you were scavenging all that shit underwater!"
We should get them couples counciling
Guy can't keep being shark bait ooh ah ah 😭😭
I still don't understand the point of this game
It's his destiny
Raft
raft
The point is raft
RAFT
"Honey, I think I'm dying. My hunger bar is low."
"Then eat something, we have plenty of food."
"I don't think I can make it back in time," Guy whined.
"Wh- where are you??"
You could practically hear Guy's pout, "I went back on the island because you were mad at me."
"I am not mad at you," Honey responded, exasperated, "where are you at on the island?"
"Uhmm... I'm in a place with lots of trees."
"Okay, I'm bringing you some shark meat."
"The shark is dead?"
"Yeah I killed it."
[HONEY] MOVE FASTER WE CANT LET HIM DIE
They are playing the game so wrong I am ripping my hair out
Tip: multiple sails will make you go faster
They can play however they want to 😡
The only right way to do anything is the [Honey] and Guy way
"Oh shi-" Guy started, "I'm dead."
"You're fiiine."
"No, my character just collapsed from hunger."
"Don't be dramatic, I'm almost there."
"I'm not being dramatic!! I died!!!"
"A little death never killed anybody."
Honey found Guy's character, limp on the ground, and picked him up.
"Alright, you big baby, I'll take you to the bed."
"Oooooh," Guy sang impishly, "you're carrying me to bed?"
"Yep."
"What are you gonna do with me once we get there?"
"When we get there, you are gonna build that goddamn engine!"
Upon arrival to the raft, Honey discovered something...
"Where the fuck is the bed??"
Guy coughed out a laugh, "oh, uhm- I might've taken it with me when I left."
"Why would you do that!?!?"
"Because you were mad at me!!!"
"I swear to god-" Honey dropped Guy's carcass on the raft and went to collect materials to make another bed.
"Honeeeeey," Guy whined, "this wooden floor is hard."
Honey sighed, "I'm making you a bed, hold on."
"Come lay underneath meeee."
AGDKSGAKBFK
Boi he wants them under him 👀👀
Can't believe they let Guy die, I'll never forgive them for this 😢🤧😖 /lh /j
Our boy really stepped up his flirting game 😳😳😳
Too bad [Honey] is too oblivious
They're not oblivious, they're an asshole
A distinct sound of sharp teeth chomping into their hard work caught Honey's attention.
"Fuckin' hell," they murmured, "the stupid shark is back."
"Hurry up making the bed and I can kill it," Guy offered.
"I thought you were making the bed," Honey retorted.
Guy scoffed, "Honey!!!!"
"I gotta stab the shark, hold on."
Cold blooded
Yeah
They don't deserve Guy I'm gonna kidnap him
That shark is an endangered species!!!
DoNT YOU DARE GUYNAP OUR BELOVED BOY
Finally, finally, Honey returned and placed Guy's character on the bed. He sprang up immediately.
Guy's cheerful voice started up, "yayyy, thank you Hone-" and was cut off with a yelp.
The shark had glitched through the bottom of the raft and attack Guy. It scared him half to death, but Honey?
Honey was laughing hysterically.
And it was music to Guy's ears.
Gasping for breath, they kept trying to say something, but continuously fell into a fit of giggles.
Guy was barely able to form his own words without laughing, trying to feign offense at his honey's joy in seeing him hurt. But hearing them laugh so heartily? He couldn't help but melt.
And he didn't want to just hear it, he wanted to see it.
"I'm coming to get you, Honey!" He announced, just before darting towards their room.
"No, no no!" They tried to object, but it was too late as Guy came bursting in.
They were in his arms and on the floor in an instant, tears streaming down their face as they tried to breathe.
Their face hurt from smiling, and they tried to calm down, but as soon as their breathing slowed Guy started to tickle them.
"Guy-! No!! Stop it!" They squealed and squirmed, but to no avail. Their previous laughing fit left them exhausted.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I feel like we shouldn't be watching this
HES SO CUTE????
GUY FACE REVEAL!!!!!
EVERYONE SHIELD YOUR EYES
TURN OFF YOUR DEVICES THIS IS ILLEGAL
Wait I think I've seen him before!
When all settled down, Guy and Honey were nothing but a mess of tangled limbs on the floor, just barely out of frame.
"I love you, Honey," he said softly.
Honey smiled, "I love you too."
When the couple realized that Guy was no longer anonymous, Honey made him start carrying pepper spray while he worked.
Gotta keep the boy safe.
The End.
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A/N: Thank you for reading the Streamer!Honey series ♡ I've loved writing it, and it makes me so happy that you all loved it as well!
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norman-fucking-reedus · 2 months
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I loved your post about childish Daryl and wondered if you’d ever write Little!Daryl. I know it’s a bit out there but i love it and there’s hardly any mdlb Daryl fics. I don’t like it when it’s sexual cuz that’s fucking weird but when it’s like genuinely something that comforts Daryl and the reader happily takes on the role of “mommy” I LOVE IT
Okay I had to look up wtf MDLB cause so I don't make myself look stupid yapping about something I don't know about, from what I'm getting it's basically just like the sexual version age regression (which is yes very fuckinf weird)
I personally don't think that Daryl would really be into the idea of completely acting like a little boy and being taken care of like one... Like I know a lot of Littles like to play with baby and children's toys, pacifiers, and coloring sheets, but I feel like if you tried giving Daryl a paci he would literally stomp on it
Don't even get me wrong, the dynamic and basic surface of MDLB is something that he'd be into, but it's something that he would have to ease into. What Daryl needs in his life is a woman with a hint of authority, someone who can provide the emotional structure, safety, and support that he needed throughout his childhood. The idea of Daryl being more childish is because I think that if he were to heal emotionally, then he'd also be able to start healing mentally which would kind of break him out of his shell and get him to be a little more expressive
Now I do agree with the reader filling in the role as 'mommy,' and like I said in my earlier post I think 'mama' and 'baby' are really cute for outside the bedroom and reader is more than happy to be Daryl's mama. Daryl doesn’t mind you cooking for him, not like he had a choice, but we all know how Daryl doesn’t like feeling helpless. He wouldn’t want you to feel like you have to actually care for him as if he were a little boy, but that doesn’t mean dont care for him if that makes sense
im literally so sorry because I know this was not the response you wanted like at all 😭🎀 promptly blows myself up in front of everyone
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ruanais · 3 months
Text
A ANOUNCEMENT !!! EDITED : I’m not gonna deactivate it cause I just realised I’m too attached to this blog help-
hello !! I’m here to make a important announcement <3 so !! okay this might come as a shock, but I will be leaving @/ruanais ( a few days later cause I need time to clean things up ) !! T-T I’m really sorry but I simply don’t have the time or dedication to this blog anymore :( every single one I’ve ever met on this account was rlly nice esp my mutals and I’m so glad I got to meet every one of you <3
@silverbladexyz : gosh, we’ve been mutals for quite a while Huh ? I’m so grateful to you even tho we don’t rlly talk much anymore sihdjsjdjsjahhsjsj thank u for being with me after all this time !! :D
@justcallmesakira : we haven’t talked tooo much but I’m happy to have met you !! your works are amazing and I hope you’ll continue to grow <3 mwah !
@yuukimiyas : I’ve always looked up to you as one of my favourite writers so imagine my surprise when you followed me !! :0 your posts always make me rlly happy !! :D
@chuuyrr : I’ve always loved ur chuuya’s fics and they’re just so ??????? they’re my meal for three times a day Frfr !! :3
@sinmalssimp : raven, I’m really proud of you for being able to be so strong <3 you’re going amazing and I hope you’ll have a amazing life !!
@yuutx : thank u for being my mutal for so so long as well !!!!! you’re such a nice and kind person and you’re like a younger sister to me <3
@gojoath : cella !! omfg ur one of the people who managed to get me back into jujutsu kaisen T^T ur works r absolutely gorgeous and ur yuta series ?!?!???? chef’s kiss -///-
@vrachis : one of my og mutals ever since I started tumblr ! :3 also thank u for getting me into v tubers cause now im watching their streams whenever I can LMAO
@aureatchi : you and red are never ever going to beat the twin allegations tbh, even the abilities u suggested to me were the same so :3 and even ur names are similar :0 anyways ! rev, thank u for being my mutal !! you’re genuinely so so so nice and T^T ur like a younger sister to me as well <3
@cheriiyaya : red, you’re just like reverie so it’s like copy and paste except that youre more chaotic and I love your energy !!! i always laugh whenever I see ur url cause of that meme- fjdjjsjskjsj lol but you’re a younger sister too so !!! :D but yeah, I loved having convos with u !! you’re such a easy perosn to ramble to and thank you for listening to my thoughts that make no sense whatsoever !!
@rusmii : ruru !! firstly !! congratulations on 600+ honey !! you’re almost there to 1k aahhh !! we haven’t talked much but you’re such a nice person as well :(
@culturity : kady, ur such a sweetheart tbh and I always feel happy whenever I see ur posts on my dash <3 I hope that everything goes well for you in life cause you deserve it !!
@m0uchie : EMI !! you’re rlly nice and I light up whenever I see u in my inbox or notifs sjsjsbsksjjssjs I rlly wished we talked more tbh :( but we still had fun together <3
@riiwrites : riri you’re one of the people I’m closest to on tumblr and I’m so so happy I got to meet such a amazing and kind person as u !! thank u sm for everything honey !!
@beasalmeh : okay !! you’re a rlly chaotic and goofy person that I love to talk to !! seeing your messages always make my day and it’s so fun to have a conversation with you :D
@dazaisslave : ichika, you’re such a sweet friend to me and I dont and never did deserve someone like you :( thank u for everything <3
for the other mutals I didn’t add cause I’m a lazy fuck or we didn’t talk much or just became mutals so I don’t know anything abt u or we are mutals but we haven’t talked in a long time so it would be awkward + my dear followers : thank you as well ! all of you helped me in my growth as cringy as it sounds lmao sibdjshsjsjdj I could never ever have gotten to 100+ followers without u guys and I’m genuinely gonna miss u guys so fucking much :(
— ur dearest rua <3
also u guys, surprise announcement I’m not single anymore <: ur girl rua got a bf !!!!!! ahem !! but yeah !! hehe :3 I fulfilled one of my dreams !!!!!!! :D I CAN FINALLY TELL MY FRIENDS IM SOMEONE WHO GETS BITCHES 😍 /j
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kiss2012 · 2 months
Text
tsc thoughts under the cut cause i finished
i literally cannot wrap my thoughts around my overall opinion of it i feel like i absolutely need to reread it first
but also i need to reread tfc because I MISS TFC SO BAD ➡️ girl who reread it last may. i do think i spoke tsc into existence by doing this because i hadn’t looked at the trilogy since 2019 and then all of a sudden i decided to reread and found that unfortunately they still make me batshit crazy. what is in those books.
however i do like tfc better 🤷🏽‍♀️ so if i did reread tfc after this and read tsc again i would just want to read tfc again
this is not fair to say at all because tfc is a whole trilogy and this was only book 1. and i rlly need to start saying aftg instead of tfc cause it’s getting confusing because like i do think tsc is better than tfc (the first book). however i just…like aftg better? i feel like it’s more fun which is probably a weird thing to say considering it’s a lot More than tsc is. and obviously this book was more about jean’s recovery. but more happens in aftg. idk we’ll see tho
i do love jean and the trojans but i miss neil and the foxes every page. i feel like it’s harder to connect to the trojans because there r so many of them. and idk sports so the three coaches is probably normal for a team of this size i really wouldn’t know lol but i couldn’t keep the coaches straight in my head either
point is the foxes r my everything 4ever. i love jean jeremy cat and laila and i see what she was trying to do by introducing the floozy line (cute name) however i dont really have a strong feeling about them because we met them for like 5 minutes
i do love nabil tho why is he not part of the floozy line :(((((
i think cat and laila were absolutely perfect. they’re given a lot of depth especially cat and they’re so important to me. they’re better here than in fanon i think but i feel like fanon did get their personalities and relationship down mostly right. apart from cat not just being called alvarez LMAO bless neil only calling her that and fanon having no choice but to do the same because no one agreed on one single name. i remember sara was one that i saw a lot but i like catalina way way better i love cat <3 i love laila <3 their friendship with jeremy <3
an evening breeze rainbows open roads friends 😭😭😭😭😭😭
bi jean is so dear to me
also jean rooming with cat and laila (and then jean) literally perfect omg. no one ever put that in fics but i think it was the best thing to do. sorry for having to compare tsc to fanon im not trying to say one is better than the other at all but what you have to understand is how many fics about jean post tkm are out there and how many of them i read so my mind is going to go there. i wasn’t rlly obsessed with jerejean but i was (and am) a jerejean girl. and i had (have lmao) very high standards for fic so i stand by a lot of those fics WHILE still standing by everything tsc is
by which i mean i cannot get poc jean out of my head thanks to that one fic where he is moroccan. in that same fic jeremy was also spanish and i sort of adopted that into my image of them so i am trying to let go of it but i mean even the hatfords being pakistani still lives in my head despite how unlikely it is. and most of the time i pictured jeremy with golden hair (sometimes curls) so even though i think nora’s compromise being to have naturally brown-haired jeremy bleaching his hair is hilarious and iconic. sort of impossible for me not to picture him with golden hair.
however when jean was all startled and went “blond” when he saw jeremy’s hair. reader i died
english major jeremy is still a gift to me personally
kevin bargaining and arguing for his history major..my baby…the mentions of kevin and kevin’s actual appearances in tsc are everything. the postcards and magnets…kill me
every time neil showed up i lost my mind i love him SO MUCH!!!
see my problem is i wish the foxes showed up more even though it makes no sense for them to. i want kevin jeremy and jean in a room together. i will kill for jean and allison interaction especially if they talk about renee (yes i am holding onto renison still). i want jeremy and cat and matt and dan to hang out. i need laila to meet andrew. i need more renee I LOVE RENEE we did get a good amount of her though i think. she was everything.
genuinely think the way jean and renee was handled here was so perfect. i totally see the merit of it if they end the series together. i also see why jean might end the series without being with anyone romantically. but narratively i cant help but feel jerejean is what makes the most sense. the reason i liked them in the first place is their narrative appeal. and they were genuinely so good in this. so. idk. can’t think about that too much.
i have some problems with the writing like i did with the og series but um the thing is i cannot view these books objectively because they impacted me so much at a young age. i will say i wish tsc could have had a professional editor lol.
i also have some issues with the pacing tho because i did not expect it to end there at all? im so glad she started it where she did but when it ended i was like WAIT WHAT
i have a feeling the reason riko did what he did with the backliners is because he saw jean looking at kevin. could be wrong here but judging from how often jean talks about learning his lesson about looking at guys too long. well.
the main thing for me is that i don’t see how we’re going to get to championships in 2 books if this book only covered till the summer. you could argue exy games arent that important for jean’s story but i do think they are insanely important for jeremy’s story. and if he’s a pov character i want more about him!! that man is keeping his issues locked up (I NEED TO KNOW WHAT THEY R) but we can tell he loves exy and he needs to win his last year
my memory of the extra content is so dim and some of it i have voluntarily chosen to forget or just not consider plus i think some of it will/has changed. but i think i remember reading that trojans win for their last year and i Need that to happen. cause in my head it went: foxes win neil’s first year and trojans win neil’s second year and jeremy’s last year. idc for the rest i want neil to have won championships twice or at least once as captain so that’s what happens in my head.
like i need more about jeremy teaching jean to love exy again and more about jeremy’s apparently complicated family issues with exy???? jeremy let me in.
anywayy. this book feels like a fever dream and im going insane
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alixlives · 5 months
Text
going into the new year, i want to appreciate some of my mutuals/friends.
everyone on this list means so much to me even if i havent properly expressed it. i love you guys so much & im so grateful to go into the new year with you all. (Know that even if you’re not on this list, you’re still so incredibly important to me/gen. I love all of my mutuals & im so happy to go into 2024 with y’all<3)
@wilbyscoot - I don’t even know where to start with you/pos. You’re my brother, my best friend, you really do mean a lot to me. I’m so grateful to be your friend, honestly. You’re so fun to talk to, i love messing with you/aff and despite whatever protest i may say i love when you do it back, I find the banter really fun and I always laugh and have such a wide smile on my face. You’re so sweet & one of the nicest people I’ve ever known. I love you so much<3 /p
@totallynotbat Bat you honestly really do mean a lot to me. You’re one of my closest friends and I love talking with you. I love playing roblox with you, especially when I’m kicking your ass in flee the facility^^ /j You’re honestly just such a fun person to be around, you are very sweet and such a kind person. I love you :D /p
@sketchingtothemoon I know I don’t really express it a lot but I’m so grateful to be your friend. You’re so supportive, kind, and you’re always there to simply just listen. Talking with you is always fun, I’m always smiling during it even if it doesn’t really seem like it. You’re an amazing friend and you’re like a sister to me. I love you ^^ /p
@coolbananas143 AMANDA !! I really love talking with you!! You’re very funny and so cool, a little intimidating/hj but nonetheless i really love every moment that I have talking with you. You’re like an older sibling to me and you’re an absolutely amazing friend/gen. I love you!!/p
@mochamuff1n MOCHA!!!! You are such a SILLY GUY/POS i love talking to you!! You’re an amazing friend and i dont know why you are intimidated by me but its okay cause i am intimidated by you too /pos You’re so cool and im so happy that I’m friends with you and that I get to go into the new year with you. I love u silly man!!/p
@boardmanpanic I still find it so hilarious how we both suspected that we’re in the community (and that i was right about you after months of suspicion/hj.) You’re a really cool person and i love talking with you!! You are also very funny. How do you do that/j And of course, im really grateful to go into the new year with you !!!!/gen
@snake-anon By far my fav anon I’ve ever had. You are so silly and so supportive of my writings and I’m so thankful for that. I would honestly love to talk with you more, you’re genuinely really cool and definitely a great friend^^
@orphicrublee you are so SWEET HOLY FUCK/gen . You’re one of the kindest people I know i swear, and you’re always like the first to reblog & support my fics when I post them and thank u so much for that😭🫶 I’m really happy to know you & thank you for just being you !!
@radio-to-trenchcoat-demons AAAAH. You are seriously so fuckinf nice🥹/pos You’ve always been really supportive & nice about me being in the community and i was seriously so happy to answer your questions about it & introduce you to it. You’re really fun to talk to and i’m so glad to go into 2024 with you!!^^
@hyper-raccoon23 man what a silly guy you are/pos You’re very cool and i’m so happy to know u!! You’re very sweet and you seem like such a fun person, i’d love to talk with you more :D I’m very thankful for your support on my fics of course, thank you so much. I hope 2024 treats u well ^^
I hope 2024 treats all of you well. I love you all so much, thank you for being such amazing people. Happy New Year! 🫶❤️
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baby--b4t · 1 month
Note
hey pookster i’m just leaving this here because I know you’d do justice if you ever made it into a minific :3
kaveh absolutely LOVES horror/creepy things, especially when regressed, but alhaitham can’t do it. like CANNOT.
sincerely, 🐠fishie anon :3
OH MY GODS ANON YOURE SAVING MY WRITERS BLOCK RN (º̩̩́⌣º̩̩̀ʃƪ) im gonna try and write a quick minific in hopes that itll make me wanna post more and work on my bots. ALSO TY FOR THINKING SO HIGHLY OF ME- i feel like my writing is mid but ill try my best for this silly idea (its super late as of replying to this so sorry if its a bit jumbled or doesnt make sense-)
(fic under cut)
Kaveh was supposed to be in bed hours ago. 5 hours and 38 minutes, to be persice. Alhaitham had been counting. He did everything he though would work to get Kaveh to finally lay down, close his eyes, and rest, but nothing was working. Warm bottle, bedtime stories (he had read 7 different stories at this point), and even trying different stuffed animals and pajamas. Nothing. Alhaitham was exhausted.
“Hayi? Do da tree birdies sleep? Wha’ about… Oh! Wha’ about da creepy crawlies in da kitchen?” Kaveh had been asking nonsense questions like these all night, part of the reason he was still awake at nearly 4 in the morning.
“I dont know, Kaveh. What I do know-… Wait, whats in the kitchen?” Alhaitham began to answer before he registered what kaveh had said. He sat up in the bed a little bit and looked down at Kaveh. “What did you just say is in the kitchen?”
“Da creepy crawlies!” Kaveh excitedly exclaimed, a wide smile forming behind his pacifier. “Dey have 6 leg, 3 eye- BIG eyes, and are really teeny tiny. Dey walk around in da dark and eat da bread! Dats why it has all da holes.” Kaveh started giggling, his tiredness clearly showing in his speech.
Alhaitham felt puzzeled. More than when he was trying to figure out why Kaveh wasnt sleeping yet. But what was getting to him the most was the though of some spider-like creatures crawling around in his food while he didnt look. He shuddered, the thought of bugs in general making him feel gross. He rubbed up and down his arms for a moment, trying to get rid of his goosebumps, before pressing further into this. Surely it was Kaveh just being silly… Right?
“How do you know this? Who told you about these… ‘Creepy crawlers’?” Alhaitham asked as he tried to fight the tiredness in his mind. This whole talk took a turn that was not helping his already fatigued state of mind.
“Dey told me! I got mad ‘cause my sandwich had holes, and I asked and dey told me.” Kaveh explained trough slurred giggles and mumbles. “Dey very small, so is easy to make holes. I scolded dem like you always do for da holes…” The more Kaveh explained, the more Alhaitham imagined a ton of ant-sized abominations crawling around their pantry. He shook his head and tried not to gag.
“Kaveh, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the ‘creepy crawlers’ arent real. You probably dreamt about them at some point.” Alhaitham tried to explain to Kaveh, but Kaveh didnt seem to want to believe it.
“What?!” He sat up in the bed with Alhaitham, jaw dropping and his pacifier almost falling out. “But.. But dat were so cute-“ He felt himself tearing up over the fact that the little creatures he thought were so adorable werent actually real. Alhaitham sighed, realizing that now he had to deal with a meltdown.
“How about you go to sleep so you can dream about them? Does that sound like a good idea?” He suggested as he tried to coax Kaveh into laying down again. The poor baby was so tired at this point he didnt realize that Alhaitham was moving him. It did seem to stop his oncoming waterworks, however.
Kaveh gave a small nod and snuggled back up with Alhaitham. It seemed like as soon as his head hit the pillow, he was in a deep sleep. That baffled Alhaitham. How in the world would Kaveh be so willing to dream about thousands- No, millions of little spiders in his food? If Alhaitham saw them, he would already have a match in hand to burn the house down.
However, Kavehs great big imagination never failed to impress Alhaitham. He just seemed to show it so much more whenever he regressed. A soft sigh came from Alhaitham, just accepting it. His little Kaveh would just have that sort of creepy imagination and he couldnt stop it… But he would still be checking the entire house for bugs when they woke up. No ‘creepy crawlers’ get to live rent free.
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acaciapines · 1 month
Note
hey! for the fic ask game: 3, 5 (for the wolf 359 daemon au), 8, 38 and 42?
3. What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics?
somebody being a least a little bit nonhuman <3 but more broadly i really like writing about human/animal dynamics, both in the nonhuman sense obviously, but also even in my daemon aus--what do humans say about animals? how much is true and how much is just something humans have put onto the animal, rather than what the animal is?
i also think i write a lot about grief, and the ways grief and trauma both can manifest in ways seen as 'unpalatable.' how youre supposed to survive these sorts of things, and how a lot of times the answer is that maybe things dont get better, but they do get different. ie i have a lot of bittersweet endings and i dont think that'll ever change.
5. What do you wish someone would ask you about [insert fic]? Answer it now!
oooh ive always hoped somebody would ask what the hell doug-nix and miranda-alphaeus would get up to after the epilogues, 'cause this never got in there (i dont think at least), but i've always had it in mind that they move out eventually! get a place of their own, which would leave minkowski, hera, jacobi, and sometimes lovelace whenever she stops by living together.
i just feel like. miranda and doug are outsiders to that crew, yeah? neither of them remember the people they once were, so. might as well try making something new and better together.
8. What song would make a great fic (to either write or read)?
this one is particularly topical 'cause a song is actually the inspiration for the current fic i'm writing! grand canyon by the wind and the wave. literally such a frisk and chara song, ALSO a really good roadtrip song, so ive meshed those together and now im working on a post-pacifist chara&frisk centric roadtrip fic! coming out....idk. may probably.
i also think twelve feet deep by the front bottoms could make a real fun onesided dessriel fic. something about 'i get left out of every plan they make / that is what i have to do / to be the only kid from highschool who is still in love with you' REALLY gets to me.
38. Did any of your fics get surprisingly popular (whatever that means to you)? Which ones? Why do you think they were so successful?
i think the one that surprised me the most was garden of earthly delights, which was my madoka magica daemon au. seeing as its been Forever since anything madoka has come out (plus daemon aus are Not popular anymore lol), i didnt know there was still an active fandom there, but there WAS, and all my commenters were amazing and lovely and it was so fun seeing everyone trying to uncover the mystery in real time!!! if i had to guess WHY it got popular, i think i'd guess it was the aspect of mystery...something to keep people coming back and commenting!
42. Have you ever received a comment that particularly stood out to you for whatever reason?
the comments that always stick with me the most are the people who come to tell me that it was my fics (usually either i know im not well or alterhuman) that either helped them feel SEEN as otherkin/therian, or helped them discover that this was a thing they even could be. i think thats been one of the most rewarding things about sharing those stories. theres not a whole lot out there in the ao3 otherkin tag, yknow? and it makes me so happy to know i've been able to help people.
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ipegchangbin · 6 months
Note
HOLY SHIT Z WHAT THE HELL⁉️⁉️😟😟🤯🤯
NEVER HAVE I EVER READ A FIC THAT MADE MY PUSSY THROB THAT MUCH‼️‼️🤭🙁🥵🥵😳😳😱😱😱
I READ THAT THING LIKE FIVE 5️⃣🖐️🤯 TIMES AND TMI BUT I GOT OFF ON IT TOO BC DAMN WAS THAT GOOD😝😝😋😩😫‼️💕🙏💕
I WOOOOUULLDD DO LIKR A WHOLE ANALYSIS (hehe analysis 😼😼🤭😛) BUT UMMMM UR GIRL IS HIGHKEY ASS AT WORDS‼️‼️😥😰😱😭😫 LIKE POOKIE‼️😫 I LITERALLY FAILED ALL OF MY ENGLISH CLASSES BACK IN HIGHSCHOOL😀😀😀😀⁉️⁉️⁉️BUT AAAANNNYWAYS WHAY YHE HELL Z 😱😱🤯🤯
THE WRITING IS LITERALLY SO AMAZING🤩😍😝😋😋😋
WHY⁉️⁉️😡😡
WHO GAVE U THE MF RIGHT TO WRITE THIS GOOD😡⁉️⁉️⁉️😡🤬🤬😡🤬🤬😾
BUT FR POOKIE WHAT DO U PUT IN YOUR FICS BC🥴🥴🤤🤤🤤😵‍💫😵‍💫😵😵‍💫😵‼️‼️‼️
THERES BARELY ANY BOYPUSSY FICS OUT THERE WHICH IS DEVASTATING 🤬🤬🤬😓😢😩😫😡🤬
UR MY SAVIOR Z‼️‼️🥹🥹🙌💕
ALSO YOUR ART OF BOYPUSSY HANNIE IS SO FUCKINF DELICIOUS LIKE I OPENED THAT LINK AND ZOOMED RIGHT ON THAT PUSSY AND I FUCKING DROOLED‼️‼️🥴🤧🤤🤤🤤💦💦 GUESS WHO TOUCHED HERSELF WHEN SHE SAW IT❓❓❓THATS RIGJT‼️‼️ ME😻☝️💕💕💦 I NEED MY MF MOUUUTYHH ON THAT JUICY MF PUSSSAAYYYYYY‼️‼️‼️🙏🙏😫😝👅💦
READER IS MUCH BETTER THAN ME🙌🙌🤧🤧 CAUSE IF IT WERE ME I WOULD’VE PUT THAT VIBRATOR IN HIM AND ATE THAT MF PUSSY OOOUUTTT AND SUCKED THE LIFE OUTTA THAT CLIT😝😝😛😋😋🙏🙏🙏 RIGHT AFTER HE SQUIRTED LIKE IM FR GONNA MAKE HIM SQUIRT AGAIN BUT THIS TIME IN MY MOUTH 😋😛😛😜💦💦🤪😍😍😍LIKE THIS TONGUE IS GONNA FUCKING ABUSE THAT ALREADY ABUSED CLIT EVEN MORE 👅👅💦💦‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️DID I MENTION I LOVE CLITS❓❓❓ IF NOT THEN I WILL NOW‼️‼️‼️ I LOVE CLITS‼️🙌😋 CLITS ARE SO FUCKING AMAZING‼️‼️😍😍😜😫🙌 EVERY TIME I SEE SOMETHING ABT STIMULATING A CLIT IM IMMEDIATELY BRICKED 🧱🧱🧱 UP⬆️☝️🆙👆CAUSE IF IT WERE ME I WOULDVE TIED SUNGIE UP WITH A VIBRATOR TO HIS CLIT AND LEAVE HIM THERE FOR HOOOUURRRSSS‼️♾️😝😛😫☝️😋💦 I WOULD SPEND THE WHHOLE MF DAY ON THAT DELICIOUS CLIT ‼️‼️😍😛😋🙌👅💦😽👉👌OH MY GOD I SOUND GAY ASF BUT IDC BC ITS PUSSY‼️‼️😻🫰WHO DOESNT LOVE PUSSY⁉️⁉️⁉️😾😾I LOVE PUSSY‼️‼️‼️😛😛👅😻😽🙌 I WOULD EAT HANNIES PUSSY OUT ALL DAY ALL WEEK ALL MONTH ALL YEAR ALL CENTURY‼️‼️‼️‼️😝😜😜😽 THAT PUSSY IS SO MF JUICY💦💦 WND DELICIOUS AND IS BEGGING TO GET TOUCHED‼️‼️🙌👉👌😋
anyways pookie keep up the good work, amazing writing as always!! <3 🥰🥰💕 (definitely not rereading it for the fifth time and getting off on it…nooooo definitely not… ☺️☺️)
OH YM GOD i just logged in and this is the first thing i see 😭 I FUCKING SEE U ANON‼️ u are very seen
ANON I LOVE U SO MUCH MORE WTF THE AMOUNT OF PRAISE THAT U POURED OVER THIS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 HAS BOYPUSSY BROKEN US BECAUSE IT SEEMS AS THOUGH IT HAS 😭😭😭 GOOD LORD and to think that this was supposedly just a private gift but mei is kind and i was able to post it … NOW IM SO GLAD I SHARED IT BC U HAVE FOOD TO EAT MY DEAREST ANON 😁
“ure my savior” yo…yo dont perceive me as messiah itll inflate the shit out of my ego /j and give me impostor syndrome /hj BUT IN ALL SERIOUSNESS gosh i cldnt stop giggling u made my day with these compliments like im just Some Guy but because of ur words i am now Some *Happy* Guy
and omg! URE RIGHT MAYBE SHOVING THE VIBE IN AND EATING HANNIES PRETTY BOY CLIT OUT WOULDVE BEEN SO GOOD…but then again…TEASING THE BOY JUST FEELS SATISFYING ‼️‼️ i love hannie and his clit actually i love pussy in general i wish i had boypussy especially boyclit in my mouth rn (in a non sexual casual way) (which was what reader intended) (until y/n and han both went CRAZY)
i wont lie this ask gave me massive eye strain from the emojis /pos like that brings me joy ?! its an impressive thought to know that somebody out there is losing their mind over silly words i wrote and a few lines that i drew. CRAZYYYY thats crazy?!!!
ill keep this entire ask, print it into a booklet form, and reread it as if its a mini prayer guide. i cant anon ure so silly and precious HAHAHAH hope u have the nicest day always!
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devondespresso · 6 months
Text
20 Questions for Fic Writers
tagged by @museumgiftshoperaser
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
technically 2, but its a sfw and nsfw version of the same fic fhajklfjdalfjk
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
...6,357. i promise i write.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
just stranger things so far, but i have seriously thought about writing about Fender's gender from Robots (2005) and I promised my friend a Shark Tale fic for their birthday fjalhfdjkalfdj
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Never Again
Never Again (sfw)
fascinating statistics arent they
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
never gotten comments on ao3, i do reply to what i get on tumblr tho because it literally makes my day
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
(including my unposted work) Never Again, tho i think its more bittersweet than unrelenting angst
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
tho its technically not finished, We'll Be Alright (Steve Henderson AU) has a very happy ending
8. Do you get hate on fics?
no, thank god
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
im gonna say no? despite writing something spicy at the beginning of Never Again it was not a good time (for me or Nancy)
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
haven't yet, and while i wont write them off entirely itd have to have really strong potential for me to want to do it
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
nope
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
no
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
no, and i dont know how well id go. on the one hand im usually good at group stuff but im also an annoying perfectionist with my writing
14. What’s your all time favorite ship?
platonically stobin 100%. i dont get nearly as attatched to the romantic ones so i kinda just bounce around the fandom. Really love a lot of the steve harrington rairpairs floating around, plus robin and vickie
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
I dont realllly have a writing wip i know i wont finish cause i've just been posting those vague ideas instead of actually writing them becuase i know i wont. My only active wip is the steve henderson au and im hoping praying to god that i dont suddenly loose passion for it
16. What are your writing strengths?
dialogue probably, coming up with how different characters are saying things, what theyre saying, what they mean, all the little differences in their voices, I love it. that and having characters interact with the environment
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
overthinking and underthinking, stopping myself from making something happen or a character do something because theres this pull in my chest telling me its wrong. even just standard selfishness or saying something without the express intent of making sure it wont hurt someones feelings. i also start sentences with verbs djaldjdjaf
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
makes sense if characters are speaking multiple languages i guess. depends on pov and how limited it is to the pov character. like if the pov character doesnt speak spanish it'd be better to write "and they said something in spanish they didnt understand" instead of writing the spanish out assuming the audience doesnt know it either
19. First fandom you wrote for?
stranger things
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
definitely my steve henderson au. i wish it was shared already but at the same time i've editied and changed so much im glad i havnt officially yet. its helped me work through a lot and has even caused noticable improvement in my relationship with my family even if they dont know it exists. i cant promise itll be fully posted soon, but i am so exited for when i do
tagging @stobinesque @marvel-ous-m @eriquin @itsthestrangestthings @findafight @fag4dykestobin (no pressure ofc 💕)
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