#i don't know. sometimes i want it more than anything. but it's such a ball-ache to get. sometimes you think you're better off without it. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

astraystayyh · 1 year

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Vanilla

Genre : ANGST!!!!! with a happy ending

Pairing : Bang Chan x reader

Warnings : A lot of SADNESS, obviously. Breakup and everything that goes with it.

Had a really stressful week and was in the mood for some angst, i hope you enjoy reading and please let me know if you do :)) it will be much appreciated<3

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It was nearing 3 am, when Chan finally came home to you. He was tired, his shoulders hunched over as if he was carrying the world's weight on them. And in a way he was, he had too many responsibilities it sometimes felt like he drowned in them. But you were his anchor, keeping him afloat.

He opened the door, sighing when his feet hit the soft rug you had in the living room. It was dark in your apartment, save for the moon that bathed it in a soft, silvery glow.

It takes some time for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, but when they do, he is surprised to see you fast asleep on the couch, curled around yourself in a ball.

He frowns, a dull ache settling in his heart. This is a sight he had seen way too much these past few months. He hadn't been home nearly as much as he wanted, the only times he ever saw you were at night, sleeping.

When was the last time you had a proper date? He thought to himself. He couldn't remember.

He quietly kneels in front of you, his hands hovering over the soft curve of your body. He couldn't bring himself to touch you, he felt like he was breaching an unknown territory. He who had once memorized every nook and cranny of your body.

He closes his eyes, leaning his forehead onto the couch. A foreign scent hits his nostrils, coconut. Since when did you change your vanilla perfume?

Had it really been that long?

Hot tears start pouring out of his eyes. He wanted to do so much more for you, be there for you all the time. You deserved more than what he could give you. And he knew you'd never complain, he knew you'd settle for less just because you love him.

He couldn't allow any of this to go on any further, he wanted you to be happier, even if it meant letting you go.

His muffled cries wake you up, and you look at him confused as to what is going on. When you grasp that he's crying, you quickly sit up, your worried eyes racking through his face.

"Chan, baby? What's wrong?", you ask, your voice sweet like honey. He knew he'd miss your voice the most.

"Just let me hold you". He was kneeling before you, his head buried in your lap. He just wanted to enjoy those last moments with you. The calm before the storm.

Your hand instinctively finds his hair, playing with it just like you know he likes it.

No, he'd miss your touch the most.

He finally looks up at you, his teary eyes staring at you with such intensity it made your heart beat faster. He has never looked at you this way; like it'd be the last time he'd get to do it.

No, he'd miss you the most.

"We need to...", he starts off, the words stuck in his throat. He couldn't bring himself to say them, but he had to. "We need to break up".

"Pardon?", you say, a chill running down your spine. "You are messing with me, right?", you smile nervously, your fear growing with each silent beat, "Right?".

"No. We need to... We have to break up", he repeats, his eyes looking anywhere but your face. You grab his head with your hands, forcefully making him stare at you. "Chan, look at me. You mean it?", you ask, your voice sounding so small to your ears.

"Yes. Yes, this is not working anymore", he answers, this time with a little more conviction. He needed to make this quick, he didn't want to hurt you anymore.

"Why? Did I do something? Are you mad at me?". Tears were now falling freely from your eyes, you were confused and hurt. You wanted him to hold you and go back to sleep.

"No, you didn't do anything. But this can't go on anymore. Don't make this any harder for the both of us".

"I shouldn't make this harder for the both of us?", you repeat incredulously. "YOU are the one breaking up with me in the middle of the night. And for no apparent reason", you point out, your chest heaving, from fear, anger and pain.

"I'm leaving", he stands up, wiping the tears from his face. You stand up too, stopping him in his tracks with a hand on his wrist. "If you leave now...", you pause, your voice shaking, "If you leave now with no explanation, you can't come back Chan. I won't open the door for you".

"Goodbye yn", he whispers, not looking back as he leaves your apartment.

The sound of the door slamming after him lingers in the air long after he's gone. You imagine it's the same sound your heart made when Chan broke it in two.

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An agonizingly long week has passed by since Chan broke up with you. This means it's seven nights he could have come home to you, seven sunsets you could have seen together, seven morning kisses you could have shared, seven meals you would have made him.

Seven days where the world went on as if nothing changed.

You think back to the night he left, how you cried yourself to sleep on the couch of your living room. How you woke up, expecting to see him; three seconds of bliss.

But then, you remembered.

A sob racked through your body instantly. Memories flood your brain, choking you as they come and go. They were like waves of hurt swarming you, drowning you in a feeling of sorrow too strong for your heart to bear.

It takes you a while to find the courage to go to your bedroom. The one you've shared with him for the past eleven months. You pause right next to the door, it felt wrong to head in there knowing Chan won't join you in the bed anymore. It felt wrong to taint a happy room with the ugly truth.

But you finally open the door, tentatively, as if you were expecting to find him sitting in there. The sun is streaming through your curtains- the ones you bought together. Your eyes rack through the entire room, the sight of Chan's belongings so untouched stabbing your heart once again.

His black beanie, the one he wore the last time you saw him, was tossed lazily on the bed. His earrings are placed on the cabinet right next to the door. A half-empty glass of water was on his bedside. A drawer was left slightly open, his chair was pushed a bit too far.

Did he know? When he woke up that day that he wouldn't return? And if he had known, would he have tidied up? Or would he have left the room as it is? A token that he was here, he was here and he was yours and then he wasn't.

You fall on top of the bed and snuggle into your comforter, inhaling his scent that drove you crazy. Is this what is left of him now? His perfume on your sheets and pillow? His clothes on the racks of your closet? His blue toothbrush sat next to yours in the bathroom?

Or is it his kisses on your skin that scorched you in the most beautiful way? His words imprinted in your brain like the most sacred book? His whispers, his promises, his touch? Is all that's left of Chan the way he loved you?

The memories start dancing in front of your eyes, mocking you, taunting you, telling you that Chan was within your reach but that he no longer is. Making you believe that if you closed your eyes long enough, and stretched your fingers far enough, you could reach them, you could force them to become a reality all over again.

You remember the nights you had spent in his studio, you sat on his lap while he worked on a new sound. You remember his smile when he showed you a new track he liked. And then the smiles only meant for you. You've learned to memorize them. His 'good morning' smile, his 'I missed you' smile, his 'I want to ravish you' smile.

You remember your first kiss, and his confession right before "I'm falling for you". The way you sealed your faith when you kissed him. The way he kissed you, so soft, so gentle, but then so needy, so wild, and yet still as enamored.

You remember him supporting your dreams and ambitions, encouraging you whenever you didn't feel like going on. You remember him hugging you, engulfing you in a warmth that you've never known before.

You remember your pinky promises, your strolls on the beach, your 3 am conversations, your late-night drives, when you cooked for him and when he cooked for you.

You remember it all too well.

Staying in the bedroom was too overwhelming, you decide to take a shower to distract yourself a bit. But you didn't have the energy to move your limbs, so you just stood there under the water jet, forehead leaning on the cold tiles.

A while later, you finally head out of the bathroom, wrapping yourself in a towel. It was cold; Chan used to warm them up for you, you remember.

You sit on the bed, feeling hollower than ever. You don't have the energy to wear your clothes, let alone brush your hair.

You remember when you were so tired one day, Chan had to dress you himself. He then gently brushed your hair, untangling all the knots in it. He was so soft with you, so unsure, it made you fall for him tenfold.

You couldn't bring yourself to tell anyone about the breakup. You knew what your friends would say, you will get better, it will pass. But how long? How long till it doesn't hurt this much? You needed a number, a date, you needed something certain to grasp into.

You knew they'd hug you, but they wouldn't know how to rub circles on your back. They wouldn't thread their fingers through your hair. They wouldn't place a soft kiss on your forehead afterward. They wouldn't be Chan.

Is this how it will be from now on? No hug, enough. No kiss, enough. No one, enough?

You didn't want to, but the sun rose every day and set every night. And so did you with it. You went on with your life as if nothing happened. But you wouldn't be able to recall who you talked to and what clothes you wore. You wouldn't remember what you ate and how you made it back safely every night.

But you remember how one night the sky was pitch black. Chan's favorite color. And that one morning the birds chirped around you like a saddened melody. It made you wonder if they too knew how it felt to lose a loved one. You could talk about the lines stretching in your palm, and how you traced them over and over again. How you tucked your nails into them every time you thought of Chan, leaving behind bloody crescent indents.

You remember how you didn't cry during the day, willing yourself to stay strong. You didn't cry until you laid yourself in your bed at night. And there, you broke down all over again as if Chan had just left you.

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Urgent knocks on your door snap you out of your haze. 2:58, you read on your clock. Wasn't it 11 pm just five minutes ago?

You drag yourself towards the door, checking through the peephole to see who it was. It's Chan, you realize. You panic, you shouldn't open the door, you've told him it would stay closed.

"YN... I know you're in there, please let me in. I- I need to talk to you. Please", he begs, his tone apologetic. You can feel your heart soften, your anger dissolve. You wanted to see him.

It's ironic, how he was the one who caused you this pain, and yet your heart yearned for him. It's as if your body didn't yet register that he had hurt you. He had been your home for what felt like an eternity after all.

But no matter how much you wanted to open the door, you couldn't ignore the truth that he had left you. He broke up with you with no explanation, leaving you in a spiral of self-doubt. You can't go back on your word and allow him to hurt you even more.

So, you slide down the door, knocking twice on the bottom of it. He hears it and understands what you mean. You'd listen to him but you won't see him, not yet.

He sits down on the cold floor, his back to the door. You are closer than you have been this past week, and yet, he has never felt this far.

"I... I love you so much yn. I've never felt this way about anyone in my life", he starts off his voice thick with emotion. You could feel the tears well up in your eyes too, you'd missed his voice.

"And I- I want to be here for you, always. I want to come home to you early on, and I want to talk to you for more than five minutes at a time. I want to see you when I wake up and sleep and I want to be here every time you cry. Every time you need me. And even if you don't, I want to be there with you, for you".

Chan's heart is beating wildly in his chest, he hasn't thought this through, admittedly. All he knew is that he couldn't go on without you. That's how he found himself knocking at your door at 3 am.

"But I can't, I... I can't give you all of this, I can't give you all that you deserve and more", silent tears are streaming down his face, how he wished he had you in his arms right now. "I thought that... I know that I don't deserve you, and I-I imagined you'd be happier with someone else. Someone who won't hold you back as I do".

Your heart is squeezing in your chest, his words cutting through you like a knife. Is this why he broke up with you? Because he felt like he wasn't worthy enough of you?

"And when I saw you waiting up for me again... Something shattered inside of me. That's why... That's why I broke up with you", he pauses taking a deep breath to steady his voice, "but I can't- I can't lose you, baby, please. I- I couldn't sleep without you, couldn't eat, couldn't breathe, I need you yn. I need you".

Chan presses a hand to his heart, he felt as if the air in his lungs set him on fire. Maybe it was the universe's way of punishing him for letting you go.

"You've once told me that I was too self-giving and that I needed to be selfish from time to time. So here I am being selfish, I need you back, I can't- I can't afford to lose you. I can't, yn. It's killing me".

"Why didn't you tell me any of this? We would have talked, I would have told you that I loved you", you speak for the first time since he came. All of this pain could have been avoided.

"Loved? Do you- do you not love me anymore?", his shaking voice breaks your heart further.

"No, no. Of course, I still love you, Chan. I don't think I can ever stop loving you. You just hurt me, a lot", you whisper the last part, you're not even sure he heard you.

"I know and I'm so sorry baby. So sorry. Please, let me make it better, yeah?".

You don't answer and for a moment Chan thinks he's lost you for good. But then, you open the door, slowly, and he scrambles to his feet.

You lock eyes with Chan, for the first time in a week. You've gone longer times without seeing each other, but this time it feels different. You are both different; sadder.

His hand is outstretched towards you but you step back before he can touch you. You wrap your arms around your body, and he drops his hand down, defeated.

"I'm a grown person Chan. I make my own decisions. And long ago, I chose to love you", you say, your eyes never leaving his. You needed to get this off your chest, "You are not always here, and I do miss you but... You make me feel so loved all the time, even when you are not next to me".

"And I wish...", you hug yourself tighter, in a useless attempt to stop yourself from crying. "I wish you saw yourself how I see you. You are enough, more than enough", you take a step forward towards him and he takes three. "You hear me, Chan? You are enough", your hand meets his cheek and it's all it takes for him to break down.

"I'm sorry, so sorry. I will never... I will never let you go again. I promise, I promise", he cries, his soft whimpers making your heart ache.

"It's okay. We are okay, I forgive you", you smile softly, wiping his tears away with your thumb.

"We are? You mean it?", he asks you, hopeful eyes looking into yours. You nod yes and he beams at you, his smile so bright it slips through the cracks of your heart, making it whole again.

"Can I... Can I hug you?", he asks and you grin, "Come here".

He pulls you in for a hug instantly, his strong arms encircling your body as if he was afraid you'd vanish. Your body finds his like muscle memory- as if you were solely made to hold each other. Everything around you stills, and at that moment all you know, all you feel is each other.

Chan buries his head in the crook of your neck, placing a soft kiss on your skin. His eyes tear up when he smells it- vanilla. Home.

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silvervioletvalentine · 3 months

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‘I know I've got a big ego, I really don't know why it's such a big deal, though!’

Pairing : Lewis Hamilton X FemOC Candy!

Summary- in which she’s a spoilt , Primadonna girl and Lewis will do anything to get her to be his girl.

Candy didn’t know when this whole thing had started, what it was about her that had him so hooked and so obsessed with the idea of getting her to become his girl , to let him be her man.

She had done everything she could to deter him , she turned up to a high class bitchiness level that she had never even reached before . More cunty and more cruel than her friends could believe , getting great amusement out of putting one of the hottest , arrogant men down a few pegs every time she seen his pretty face .

But sometimes he got beneath her skin and wormed his over the top affections , his poetic words and endless promises of the a luxurious life he could give her.

Candy was certain that he would give her his kidney If she so much as hinted at wanting it, his promise of never ending supply of love and gifts never did fade .

Even when she thought that maybe , just maybe he had finally grown sick of chasing after her like a dog after his favourite ball.

It had been quite for the last three weeks , far more quite than she had grown accustomed to over the last year of knowing Lewis.

It unsettled her , a weird ache settling between her chest as she contemplated the fact that maybe he really had grown bored with her silly games , of her constant mean rejections and petty excuses to deny his affections time and time again.

And candy thought that she would be fine with this , that it wouldn’t bother her when things came to a still end like they always did with men’s attention waned on her after time had passed .

But instead of the indifference that she expected to feel , she just felt like a hole had been run right through her .

A frown settling over her pretty face the last few weeks when she realised that Lewis really wasn’t reaching out anymore . He usually never went a couple days or more without some type of communication .

It bad her rattled and she didn’t like it at all.

So she picked up her phone and dialled his number before she could find the reason in her brain telling her not to .

She was almost surprised when after only a couple of rings , he actually picked up. But she was too annoyed and too keyed up to even think of why he sounded so amused when he sang a pleased hello.

She cut straight through him without even wasting a single breath .

“Have you been in a terrible accident ? Have you lost your legs? Your voice? Have you sudden developed amnesia and forgotten who I am?” She bit out at him , offended by his lack of attention these past three weeks.

Despite the way that the last time she had seen him, she had told him to shove his designer gifts for her where the sun didn’t shine and to leave her the fuck alone.

To be fair , she had been on her period . Pissed off from the constant pain and moody from her suffering . And secondly , she hasn’t expected him to actually leave her the fuck alone.

This wasn’t how their game went at all. He should have been here with some pretty , sparkly things while telling her how much he had missed her.

What the hell was he playing at , ignoring her like this?

“Missed me sweetheart? I thought you didn’t want to see me? Changed your mind again?” He teased her , a giddy tone in his phone at the thought of her missing him so much.

It had been torture for him not to be Constantly on her ass and around her like he usually was , but he had just wanted to see what would happen if he really did follow through with her demands to fuck right off.

Half expecting Her to never reach out again, he was pleasantly surprised to hear her furious voice shouting at him again. It made his body relax and a smug grin settle on his face .

Candy let out a infuriated noise “no I didn’t! I was actually - I was actually just calling to let you know that I’ve moved on! adiós to you!” She shrilled.

Picking up her fluffy cat and hugging him to her chest with her free arm for comfort , the same rag doll that Lewis had gotten her for simply looking pretty this summer.

Lewis let out a chuckle , knowing her like his favourite well read book.

“Oh yeah? And who’s the lucky guys name? Anyone I know?” He played along. Putting his phone on speaker as he drove along the familiar road to her home .

Candy scowled to herself , angrily pacing her room at how amused he sounded . Her eyes traced the framed pictures on her wall, landing on one from her favourite band .

She blinked .

“No you don’t know him. His name is - his name is axl. The hottest man I’ve ever seen, we’re in love.” She blurted out wanting to make him as upset as he had made her these last few weeks of ignoring her .

Lewis was clearly grinning , she could hear his smug , beautiful grin through the damn phone .

“Cool name . Well If you’re happy…” he trailed off .

Candy was officially enraged “you don’t care?!” She almost screamed angrily. Tears filling her eyes .

His voice was careful as he replied smugly “do you want me to care sweetheart?”

She paused , sniffled then huffed loudly . “No. I don’t care if you don’t care!”

Lewis grinned to himself “okay cool. So just to be clear , you’ve moved on with some guy named Axl and you don’t care that I don’t care?” He teased.

Candy put down her poor cat and threw herself down onto the couch with a scowl on her face , wrapped herself in a blanket and tried not to cry.

“Correct.” Was all she hiccuped “well then- I’m glad we’ve cleared this up asshole. Thanks for not caring!” She made sure to get the last word in before she angrily hung up the phone .

Then she screamed into her pillow .

Only Abruptly pausing her long scream halfway when a loud knock echoed on her door.

She quickly straightened up and threw on Lewis’s hoodie that he had left last time he was here annoying her . Stomping to the door with the sourness of someone who felt like she has been dumped even though she wasn’t even in a relationship to start with.

What was her life?

She threw open the door ready to grab whatever parcel was being delivered , then froze as she came face to face with a grinning Lewis at her door.

Dressed in a beautiful dark red tracksuit set , skin glowing and hair braided back perfectly . Candy suddenly felt self conscious as she became acutely aware of her messy bed hair and mascara rimmed eyes , dressed in nothing but pj shorts and his hoodie .

“Hey baby.” He simply said after a few seconds of her gaping at him with wide eyes. Then he casually shuffled past her body, his band grazing her hip gently as he stepped into her apartment like it was his own.

It took her a few moments to gather her bearings before she was slamming the door shut and turning to him with a mean glower on her face . Heart racing in her chest at his sudden arrival.

“What are you doing here?!” She exclaimed shocked , and annoyingly relieved that he was finally there with her .

She kicked his foot , hard. Angry with him.

Lewis just smiled , leaned forward to gently run his fingers through her hair affectionately.

“Came to see you and your new boyfriend Axl.” His eyes darted to her picture of Axl rose on her wall as he said it.

Candy swallowed leaning into his touch for a moment before coming to her senses and batting his hand away.

“You just missed him.” She lied.

Lewis chuckled , amused ? knowing that she was lying and knowing that she knew that he knew that she was lying too.

“How convenient.” Was all he replied before taking a seat at the end of her couch, sitting on the arm of it . He looked up at her with his smile softening into something more warm and lovely .

“I’ve missed you. You look as beautiful as ever.” He told her softly , taking a hold of the hem of her shorts to tug her closer between his legs .

She let him. Cheeks flushing lightly as she gazed into his warm eyes , feeling her body turned to mush.

“Really?” She wondered then looked around him with a slight frown “where’s my gift?”

Lewis let out a loud laugh at how spoilt she was, though he supposed it was partly his fault. He never did arrive without a gift for his sweetheart after all.

“Don’t I get a hug first? I know you missed me.” He teased her, trailing his hand up to her waist and gently rubbing her soft skin beneath his hoodie .

She let her arms rest over his broad shoulders , pouting down at him.

“You said you didn’t care that I moved on.” She mumbled annoyed with him still.

He chuckled , hugging her to him . Resting his chin on her stomach as he peered up at her beneath his dark lashes .

“What? Moved on with Axl rose your imaginary boyfriend? Don’t be silly baby. You know I’m the only one for you.” He told her softly , smiling up at her with affection written all over his beautiful face.

Candy frowned down at him , playing with the diamond stud in his ear .

“I don’t like you.” She reminded him just out of habit by now.

Instead of getting upset , he just giggled at her stubbornness to Admit what he already knew. “Then why were you upset that I didn’t care?”

“I wasn’t upset and I don’t care that you don’t care Lewis. I just think it was mean to abandon me like that for three weeks . I thought you were dead.” She dramatically snapped .

She had watched him at his races . She knew that he was perfectly fine. Which only upset her more because then what other excuse did he have for ignoring her like that then?

Death was the only reasonable excuse to do that!

He rose a brow at her , lifting her hoody to look at the sparkly diamond H belly stud that she had on. The same one he had given her last time he saw her.

He bent down his head and gently kissed it, smirking to himself as he felt her whole body shiver against his lips.

“Don’t like me ignoring you? Now you know how I feel. Isn’t nice is it?” He mumbled against another soft kiss on her belly . Only pulling away when she slapped his forehead not so gently .

He looked up to see her glaring down at him, furious.

“I do not ignore you like that!” She denied.

He rolled his eyes “you told me to go fuck myself the last time I was here. Then refused to pick up my calls the rest of the week.” He reminded her.

She just scoffed “I was upset! I was bleeding from my vagina Lewis! Not everything is about you! I wasn’t in the mood for your games!” She argued.

He paused, then tilted his head with a slight frown. “You could have just told me that. I would have gotten you a heating pad and some chocolate. You didn’t have to be so mean baby.” He said.

She just sniffled at him , gently rubbing at the back of his neck with her fingers absentmindedly. “I’m not mean.”

The look he gave her was full of disbelief “no? Then why aren’t you my girl then?” His question had her stumped.

She spluttered for answer , blinking rapidly . “Well- cause I’m not impressed.” She answered him shortly.

He barked out a laugh “no?” He grinned looking up at her with eyes full of amusement .

“The jewellery and the clothes weren’t enough? The cat , the paid of loans and your car? Still not impressive enough?” He listed off all of the things he had gotten her this past year . Growing more amused by the second as he watched her stubbornly shake her head at him.

“Nope.” She muttered arrogantly .

“Then what would it take for you to be my girl?” He wanted to know.

She searched her mind for something “a mansion like yours. With a king size bed. And - and your Ferrari.” She said the most ridiculous thing she could think of. Something he couldn’t give her.

His eyes searched her face for a long moment before simply humming . “Will you stay at mine tonight with me? Roscoe misses you.” He said already getting to his feet .

He grabbed her phone and keys from the table , not even waiting for an answer before heading to her door. Knowing she would follow him.

She did .

“What will we do? I don’t want to bored all night.” She huffed as she followed him out.

Letting him lock her door, absentmindedly grabbing his hand as he lead her down her apartment stairs . Missing the way he smiled down at her , shaking his head fondly .

They were almost to the car when he finally responded , making her skin flush red and knees weaken as he bluntly told her

“I’m going to fuck you so hard till you know no other name than mine . Then I’m going to eat you out for however long it takes for you to realise that there’s no one better for you than me baby.” He kissed the side of her head before pushing her down into the passenger seat casually .

Candy just blinked up at him in shock , face red and belly fluttering . “Oh. Okay.” She weakly spluttered in response .

Lewis just smirked and flicked her chin lightly before closing the door shut, jogging around to the drivers side quickly .

And Lewis never broke his promises. And by the time the stars were twinkling bright , his name was all she could scream .

When candy woke up the next morning , it was to the sound of Lewis ‘awwing’ loudly at something .

She grumbled to herself as she pushed herself out of his bed , blushing at the fact that she was wearing nothing but his shirt .

Lewis having put It on her while she exhaustedly let him look after her and tuck her into his chest , kissing her head gently as she drifted off to sleep.

Yawning loudly , she stomped her way down the fancy stairs of his home . Grumpy from being woken up .

“What the hell are you awwing at you weirdo?” She called out to Lewis the moment she caught sight of him in the hallway.

He looked over at her with a bright smile on his face , beckoning her over for a hug. She immediately fell into his chest , still tired as she lazily hugged him back.

“Roscoe loves kitties . It’s so cute.” Lewis casually told her , stroking her hair away from her face as she tried to wake up properly.

“Huh?” She let out confusedly wondering why he looked so smug and amused . Then she turned her head and froze as she saw roscoe cuddled up with mr snuggles , her cat .

She blinked at her cat in Lewis’s home , with his dog. Wondering if she was still dreaming .

Then She glanced over to the front room and saw her Tiffany lamps and her cushions on his couch , glancing down at the carpet to see her heart shaped rug there too.

She gasped loudly in shock “what the fuck?!” She immediately turned back to Lewis with wide eyes, gaping at him.

“Why are my things In your house? Why is my kitty here? What the fuck?!” She shouted in absolute disbelief .

Lewis just smiled at her serenely , clearing pleased with himself . He leaned down to stroke her cat when he walked over to him purring , leaving Candy to just blink at him in disbelief .

“You said that the only way you would be with me is if you had a mansion with a king side bed and well…” he pointedly looked around his mansion and the king sized bed she had gotten out of . Grinning proudly at her as he did so.

“What’s mine is now yours baby. And also…” he dug his hand into his hoodie pocket and pulled out some keys .

He opened up her placed and gently placed them in her hand. “There’s my keys to my Ferrari that you wanted as well.” He said.

Candy felt like she was going to pass out .

Gaping at this insane man that was more than happy to give her everything he had. She felt her heart swell in her chest, briefly looking down at the Ferrari keys in her hand and all her things in his home .

She spluttered “but-what? I can’t just live with you! That’s insane!” Her hands were trembling

around the keys at his casual devotion to giving her whatever the hell she wanted .

Lewis just shrugged casually , walking over to her slowly like she was a spooked animal. And maybe she was , she sure felt like a deer in headlights then.

What the fuck was her life?

“Why not? I’m in love with you and I’m pretty sure you’re in love with me. I want you by my side , always. And what better way than living with you?” He simply explained like it was that easy. And maybe for him it was .

Candy just looked at him like he had grown a third head.

“That’s pretty arrogant to assume that I love you Lewis!” She snapped at him stubbornly . Blushing red. “What if I hated your guts? This would be real awkward for you!”

Lewis just laughed at her attitude “oh yeah? So the ‘please Lewis! Fuck me harder Lewis! Just like that baby! all that was because you hated me was it?” He smugly copied her high pitched voice screaming last night .

Making her quickly slap his bicep with a embarrassed gasp, face feeling like it was on fire.

“Lewis!” She shrieked while he just giggled harder

“shut up! I do not sound like that! How dare you?!”

Lewis rolled his eyes at her fondly “how dare me? How dare you! Why are you being so god damn stubborn? Why can’t you just admit that you love me? We could be married by now if you just stopped being so mean!” He exclaimed right back at her in exasperation.

But never angry, no, not with her. He loved her

Too damn much after all.

“I’m not mean! Fuck you!” She yelled back.

“You already did and will again after you just admit that I’m right!”

“Oh you’d like that wouldn’t you? Mr always right!” She sarcastically shouted back.

Lewis snorted a laugh “so you don’t want me then? Don’t want to live with me and drive my Ferrari?” He challenged her.

She paused , then fidgeted with the diamond tennis bracelet that Lewis had gotten for her , on her wrist .

“I didn’t - I didn’t say that-“

He grinned smugly “admit it then. Go on.” He gave her a nudge , utterly beaming by now .

Candy huffed like a child and rolled her eyes at him . “I just - are you serious?” She eyed him like he was playing some nasty , elaborate joke on her . Waiting for him to shout ‘gotchu girl!’.

Lewis squinted his eyes at her in disbelief “are you serious?” He returned the question to her in slight annoyance at her doubting him after everything .

“I’m obviously very serious baby , my god! Your cat is in my house and I just have you my Ferrari! What a weird, expensive joke that would be!” He exclaimed.

What a strange woman he was in love with he thought , so suspicious of him , Jesus!

Candy sniffed , clutched her diamond necklace on her neck (another gift from him) and slowly nodded her head.

“right . Well..” she uncomfortably cleared her throat , not one for being sappy or emotional over a man but damn , her heart was about to burst right now.

“Thanks babe.” She settled on lamely instead.

Lewis looked at her grimacing face then burst out into hysterical giggles . “You’re so welcome sweetheart. Come ‘ere” he tugged her over to him by her folded arm, grinning into her hair as he hugged her tightly to his chest .

His stubborn , spoilt girl.

Candy hugged him back without any hesitation, squeezing his waist tight . Sighing in content , she planted a gentle kiss on his chest .

“Lew?” She spoke up after another minute of just standing there cuddling in the front room while their pets stared at them like they were watching a entertaining show .

His smile was evident in his voice “yeah baby?”

She sighed in defeat , too happy to care about her pride anymore . “You’re so right by the way.” She admitted to him quietly .

He hummed smugly “yeah?”

She nodded with a huff “yeah.” She pulled away slightly to look into his eyes , he was so fucking beautiful it made her want to cry.

All mine. She almost growled , kissing his mouth just because she could . Lewis sighed against her lips happily

“Say it baby. Come on..” he whispered against her mouth , lips curling into a grin when she just sighed again.

“I love you. So much. And I missed you so don’t do that shit to me again. I’m not one to be ignored.” She told him sternly , pointing a nail into his chest.

He giggled and kissed her again “noted. Do not ignore my girl again.” He murmured then “and I love you too. You stubborn, mean girl.”

“Babe?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I have your Mercedes too? Just for Wednesdays?”

A pause , then “why Wednesday’s?” He asked amused.

She shrugged as she let him pull her down onto the couch to continue making out , side eyeing her blanket on his couch.

When the hell did he even do all this? She wondered? Still In disbelief that he had all her things moved into his home (their home now?) while she was asleep.

Was a sneaky little guy.

“Just to shake things up a little.” She replied simply.

Lewis didn’t even hesitate to agree.

Maybe she’d buy him a vegan waffle for dinner to repay him, she thought with a grin as she accepted his Mercedes car keys too.

She needed some new keychains , she thought mindlessly . Imagining the looks on her friends face when she rolled up in his Ferrari for their weekend brunches .

If this was a game , she had totally won. She thought to herself contently as she felt Lewis trail kisses down her neck.

A new mansion, two new cars and Lewis fucking hamilton as her man.

Oh yeah, she had totally won in life .

#lewis hamilton imagine #f1 imagine #formula one imagine #f1 fic #f1 oneshot #formula 1 imagine #lewis hamilton oneshot

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7ndipity · 9 months

Text

On your period

Yoongi x Reader

Summary: Yoongi looks after you on your period

Warnings: mentions of menstrual cycles, reader feeling sick, not proofread

A/N: Thank you to the lovely anon who requested this! I based it off my own experiences, so I'm sorry if it doesn't quite work for everyone. It's not the best, but I hope you like it anyway!

Masterlist

Requests are open

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

As soon as he walked into your apartment and saw the duvet from the bed in a giant y/n-shaped ball on the sofa in front of the tv, he knew what was up.

Moving quietly, in case you were asleep, he crept over, smiling when he was finally able to spot your face barely peeking out of the nest of blankets, tiredly returning his grin as he came into your line of vision.

"Hi." You croaked, voice horse from lack of use.

"Hi." He replied, leaning down and touching your cheek gently, both as a greeting and to check your temperature, knowing you sometimes ran a low fever on days like this.

"When's the last time you took any meds?"

"About noon."

Without a word, he made his way to the kitchen, returning in less than a minute with a couple pills and a bottle of water, helping you untangle from the blankets before joining you on the couch and passing you the items, which you accepted gratefully.

"Why didn't you text me earlier that you weren't feeling well?" He asked.

"Didn't wanna bother you." You mumbled.

"You're not a bother." He said, frowning as he noticed you wince uncomfortably.

It was only the first day, but that was usually when your symptoms would hit the hardest. Cramps, chills, body aches, it honestly felt like you had the flu, your only comfort was knowing that things would start to level out in a few more hours.

Well, maybe not your only comfort.

"What can I do?" Yoongi asked, quietly insistent. He hated seeing you hurting and not being able to do anything about it.

"I'll be okay, don't worry." You tried to reassure him.

"That's not what I asked." He said, giving you pointed look.

You swallowed nervously, feeling shy for some reason. "Could you maybe hold me?" You asked hesitantly.

Wordlessly once again, he climbed into your makeshift nest, shifting you both around until you were draped across his lap with your head pressed to his chest.

It still felt strangely foreign to have someone look after you like this, with such gentle, determined devotion, but you were starting to get used to it. In the past, you'd just dealt on your own, not wanting to be a burden to those around you. But as soon as you met Yoongi, all that went out the door. Anytime you felt the least bit unwell, he was at your beck and call. If you needed anything at all, be it food, meds, or just a bed warmer/nap partner, he was there for you.

You still remembered his genuine offense at your first attempts to dissuade him from coming to look after you.

"Why? It's not contagious."

"No, but-"

"Then why are you rejecting my love?!"

He'd promptly come over, armed with your favorite foods, candy and heat packs. You'd been so overwhelmed and emotional, you ended up crying and telling him you loved him for the first time that night.

Now, all these months later, he was still looking after you the same as he had then.

"You want me to stay over?" He asked after a minute.

"You don't have to do that." You sighed, already start doze against his shoulder.

"But I want to. Besides, I know you sleep better with me here." He teased.

"If you keep this up, I gonna turn into a spoiled baby." You warned.

"Will you just let me take care you, dammit." How he managed to make that sound stern and soft at the same time was a skill only Yoongi could master, making you grin.

"Fine." You relented, snuggling closer to him and pressing a small kiss to underside of his jaw. "I love you."

"I love you too, spoiled baby."

"Hey!"

#yoongi imagine #yoongi fluff #yoongi scenarios #yoongi comfort #yoongi drabble #yoongi oneshot #yoongi x y/n #yoongi x reader #bts one shot #bts fluff #bts drabble #bts comfort #bts x y/n #bts x reader #bts requests #7ndipity

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semperama · 6 months

Note

trick or treat🧡🧡 (idk if you want specific ish requests or not, but just in case ex husbands maxiel maybe? 👀 nothing spookier than that lol)

Always SO happy to talk about ex husbands maxiel. Here's a (possible, I can't commit this to stone) headcanon for how they end up back together (because of course they end up back together):

After Max retires from racing, he starts spending more time at home with his sister and mother and less and less time in Monaco, and he and Daniel see less and less of each other. Daniel had been finding excuses to show up to races, helping out with commentary and stuff, but once Max isn't there, he starts splitting his time between Australia and LA, depending on business obligations. They go from seeing each other frequently to almost never and it's--Daniel feels hollow, like he's been carved out inside, and if something hits him wrong, he'll shatter into a million pieces.

He ends up deeply depressed in ways he can't acknowledge, going through the motions of his own life. Nothing feels right anymore. Food doesn't taste right. The air doesn't feel right on his skin. He still smiles and laughs and sees his friends, but sometimes it's like he's watching his life from a distance, not really experiencing anything anymore.

Then one day he runs into Max in LA, just like he used to before they were even dating, when his heart started beating fast at the sight of him but he wasn't able to acknowledge what that meant. It hurts this time, because even after the divorce, Max always used to tell him when he was going to be in town, but this time he didn't.

(What he doesn't know is that Max has been suffering too. He only retreated into his family for comfort. He's only stayed away from Daniel because the exes-with-benefits thing started to hurt too much. He always, always wanted to ask Daniel to give him another chance, but he was too afraid Daniel would say no.)

Daniel invites Max back to his place and realizes too late how shameful it is--unwashed dishes in the sink, empty cans and bottles scattered around, clothes on the floor of the bedroom (including one of Max's old Red Bull t-shirts, which he sleeps in sometimes, even though it lost Max's smell a long time ago). But Max doesn't comment on any of it, and they fuck on Daniel's rumpled, unwashed sheets, and afterward they hold each other for a long, long time, and Daniel has to keep biting down on his bottom lip to keep from saying something he shouldn't, or shouting, or sobbing.

Max is the brave one who finally says, "I miss you," and Daniel gives in to the impulse to ask Max to stay with him for a while. Max has a flight in a couple days, but he changes it and ends up staying with Daniel for a couple weeks instead, and even though they don't talk about what it all means, Daniel feels like he's coming alive again. His chest hurts constantly--like the pins and needles of the blood rushing back into a limb that was asleep--but that's better than the numbness he had before. They fall back into their old routines, going for runs along the same routes they used to take through the hills, visiting the restaurants they loved, curling up on the couch to watch dumb movies. Daniel ignores texts and calls from friends, because he doesn't want to shatter the illusion.

Then it comes time for Max to leave, and Daniel just--can't. He thinks he might die if he has to watch Max walk out the door again. He literally will lie down on the floor and never get up again. While Max packs his things, Daniel hovers, pacing the bedroom, opening his mouth and then closing it again against words he knows he doesn't have a right to say.

Finally, finally, he lets himself croak, "I don't want you to go." Max turns to him, and his eyes are red, and his hands are balled into fists, and he says, "I will stay, if you tell me to."

They cancel Max's flight. A month later, Max goes with Daniel back to Perth. The ache in Daniel's chest goes away. His smile feels real again.

#this ended up longer than i meant it to sorry!!#my writing #maxiel #f1 #made myself cry a little bit lol

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miasmaghoul · 4 months

Note

how about the best to the worst at eating pussy/rimming?

god i was SO hoping someone would ask about this specifically lets ABSOLUTELY FUCKIN GO

best to worst below the cut, as is tradition 😌

Swiss - CHAMPION. this ghoul could do nothing BUT eat for the rest of his time Above and he would not complain for a moment. his tongue is just as sharp when it's between someone's legs, and he's the only one that can lick an orgasm out of Cirrus. high praise, to be certain. he regularly rims Dew to the point of tears and has cum in his pants about it more than once.

Cumulus - she's a close second to Swiss, and Mountain says she has the devil's tongue. the others agree - whether it's Aurora sitting on her face or Aether on his back with his knees draw up, she can wring pleasure from them all in her own special way. she even has routines memorized for everyone - Sunshine likes her taint kissed, Aeon likes having his balls cradled, Dew wants his nipples toyed with while she licks - and she loves to take her time and have fun.

Dew - that warm mouth works wonders. he's a ghoul of two minds, depending on who he's with. sometimes he's aggressive, lots of sloppy kisses and wide passes over his tongue to drag desperate noises from Rain, Aurora, Sunshine or Aeon. other times he's measured and methodical, little kitten licks and gentle presses of his lips to warm up Aether, Cumulus or Mountain before he slides his tongue inside and makes their eyes roll back. Swiss only gets rimmed if they 69, and Dew does not go down on Cirrus unless it's with an ice cube in his mouth to temper the flame.

Mountain - slow, deliberate and thorough. Mountain always eats like he's sitting down to a nice meal, savoring every moment like he's been starved for it. it's lovely, of course, but sometimes it's A Lot - he'll lick until they cum and then for a while after, regardless of his partner's little yips of sensitivity. he praises them throughout, kisses their inner thighs and lower stomach, but he won't be stopping until he's done.

Rain - also slow and deliberate, but in a more torturous way. adores edging his partners with his mouth, licking and suckling and making a whole wet mess of them and himself until they're shaking and breathless and pleading. however, he almost never makes them cum like that - not that he can't, of COURSE he can, he just chooses not to. they don't cum until he does, unless he says otherwise.

Aether - he's good, very good, but Aether ranks lower because he is just such a sucker for eye contact and that can be hard to maintain with your face buried between someone's legs. he has to take regular breaks just to look at them, especially Dew and Cumulus. he's been banned from going down on Cirrus unless he's blindfolded so he doesn't get distracted. he would much rather be within kissing distance.

Sunshine - she's got the enthusiasm, but not the stamina. her jaw aches after just a few minutes, even when she rubs it with nice, warm hands in an effort to give m o r e. she loves the feeling of someone cumming around her tongue more than most anything else, though, so once she's sore she'll just wriggle it into their willing body and finish them off with her hands instead.

Cirrus - perfunctory placement once again as the only one Cirrus will go down on regularly is Cumulus - anyone else has to earn the privilege of her mouth. that's not to say she isn't good, far from it. she'll have Cumulus shaking and sweaty in no time, grabbing at the sheets and soaking her chin. Swiss is the only other one that gets her tongue with any sort of frequency, and that's only because she knows she can overstim him until he's on the brink of safewording out. it's a thrill.

Aurora - likes the reactions it gets, but really isn't the biggest fan of putting in the work. she's impatient, is what is comes down to. it wouldn't be difficult to learn the ins and outs of their bodies, to figure out what makes Mountain howl like a wounded animal or how to make Rain shudder like he's ill. all she would have to do is practice! and maybe one day she will - for now, though, the others will have to make do with the few minutes of lazy (though pleasant) licking they get before they ravish each other.

Aeon - oh, Aeon. poor, sweet Aeon. he tries, he really really tries, but no one has the heart to tell him that the drooling does him no favors. all it does is remove any friction and make a mess, and while it's true that that is less of an issue when a cock is involved, he's yet to discover that those skills are not transferable. he'll get there, though!

#miasma's work #the band ghost headcanons #nameless ghoul headcanons #dewdrop ghoul #rain ghoul #aether ghoul #aeon ghoul #phantom ghoul #swiss ghoul #mountain ghoul #cirrus ghoulette #cumulus ghoulette #aurora ghoulette #sunshine ghoulette

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deleteddewewted · 1 year

Text

What They Do After Having Sex

MDNI//NSFW

Characters: Gojo, Nanami, Sukuna, Megumi, Yuta, Naoya

W: Kinda angst, Gojo and Sukuna are neglectful partners (kinda), Naoya's an ass, Sukuna can be nice I guess, Naoya is still an ass even if he's sad

W/n: Something a bit bittersweet for the holidays since I felt like it. Most of it is fluff but some of it is angst.

Gojo

Pulls out immediately unless you’re both actually dating.

He’s not an observant lover at all so don’t expect him to have a water bottle for you to drink from. If anything, he has one for himself.

Intentionally starts talking right after. Talks about anything and everything. Will comment on the expressions that you made while he was balls deep.

Will ask you if you’d want to clean him up with your tongue. Horny is an understatement.

He sometimes feels bad for not being as a caring partner as he assumes you'd like him to be.

He's not used to affection that wasn't sexually charged so the most you can expect from him is to emulate what he thinks normal couples do with each other.

He sometimes holds you close to him but he only does this when he knows you're asleep.

He craves affection from you but he doesn't want to scare you away or put you in danger.

You're the most precious thing he has, and be it that you're not exclusively his, he still wants to pretend for a while that you are.

Nanami

Holds you close to himself. He needs that skin-to-skin contact to ground himself.

Doesn’t care to pull out but he knows that if he doesn’t he’ll just want more of you. You’re already sore and tired, he doesn’t want to push it.

Has water out for you as well as snacks. He wants you to feel looked after.

He sometimes doesn’t have the energy for it but he still makes sure to clean you up with wet wipes.

When he does have the energy he makes his job to pamper you. Your body is washed and massaged so all the aches vanish just as they came.

He wants nothing but to make sure you're relaxed and ready to sleep in his arms for another night.

He puts on one of his shirts on you, a new pair of underwear so you don't get too cold, and then envelopes you in his arms under the covers of your shared bed.

This is the only time he feels at ease. There is no stress being around you and you managed to bring him such tranquility it's tempting to quit all of his social responsibilities just to stay with you.

Just breathe deeply beside him and he'll be asleep in an instant. His hands are warm as they slide under the shirt he gave you and stay put as you both sleep through the early morning till mid day.

Sukuna

He demands to be serviced.

You bring him towels to clean himself with but most of the time he has you clean him up with your mouth.

On the rare occasion when he feels soft or even considerate of you, he will pick you up and take you to the open bath to clean you both up.

He has his arms wrapped around you, your body flushed against him as he tells his servants to clean the bedroom and to have a change of clothes ready for you both.

He's jealous, so didn't stare at anyone other than him. No one should have the right to see your hazy eyes and marked body.

You were his possession.

Sometimes bites you just to claim you.

An even rarer act of love he does is when he gives you a massage for your sore back.

Depending on your status and what you mean to him, he'll let you sleep in his bed. If he craves you more carnally, if he sees you being his life partner, you best believe he isn't letting you go.

Megumi

Very nervous the first few times because he doesn't know what to do or how to make you feel good after sex.

He eventually figures out that he could just ask you what you want and he is happy to do it for you.

Makes sure to have cold water on the nightstand for you to drink and has wipes already out so he can start cleaning you both up.

Kisses your neck reassuringly.

He's quiet throughout the entire thing. He makes it his duty to pour all of his affection into it so there's no doubt he loves you.

There's always a blush that shows up when you do the same thing back for him.

You have to pull him into a hug if you want cuddles. He won't do anything unless you tell him you want it.

He falls asleep right after making sure you have everything you need. You wear him out easily.

Likes the feeling of your body pressed against his own and enjoys listening to your heartbeat as he slips away into a dream about you.

Yuta

Loves you with everything he has and he shows it with every touch.

He's nervous. He doesn't want to hurt you so he makes it his duty to praise you and adore you. He needs to reassure himself that he is doing everything to take care of you because he wants to know you need him.

He always makes sure to kiss your entire body before whispering how much he loves you.

He takes you to the bathroom to dip you into the bath. He cleans and rubs away all the aches in your body. He'll gently massage your scalp to relax you. It's fine if you fall asleep during this, he finds it cute and gives him an excuse to hold you close.

The warmth of your body reassures him, it helps melt away all of the anxieties he felt about if he was good enough for you.

He kisses your neck and talks to you aimlessly about how much he loves you and wants you.

He buries his face into your hair and breaths in your scent.

You were his all and he needed to prove himself worthy of being yours.

So when he sees that you fall asleep with his arms wrapped around your waist, he couldn't help just how thunderous his heartbeat became at your comfort.

Naoya

This man has no clue what aftercare is and it shows.

He will not comfort you but will expect you to be ready to take on whatever he gives you.

Refuses to even look at you in your eyes. He doesn't want to see just what he did to you because deep down there's is some semblance of shame.

He recognizes that your body is bruised and sore. It's all his doing but he refuses to help you because it would mean being vulnerable and showing some semblance of mercy to you.

You're his bride-to-be but that didn't mean he had to baby you, right?

Feels empty when you always turn your back to him or go to sleep. He isn't used to being rejected. He is the monster all of the women he's beaded fear yet there he lay next to someone who could care less.

The bed was warm but you were cold to the touch.

You had gotten up to clean yourself and drank water before leaving for the guest room he had assigned to you.

This was the bedroom you were meant to share yet you always left him by himself. He was empty and alone and he knew that he had earned it.

#gojo x reader #sukuna x reader #noaya x reader #nanami x reader #megumi x reader #yuta x reader #okkotsu x reader #gojo satoru #nanami kento #sukuna ryomen #megumi zenin #yuta okkotsu #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #fluff

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thot-of-khonshu · 2 years

Note

Love my moon boys but can you write something for Santi, entirely up to you how but after he wrecks your shit he’s sweet 🥺❤️

IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE!!!! Loooove my Santi.

Pairing: Santiago Pope Garcia x f! Reader

Rating: Explicit, 18+

Content: Explicit Smut, Dirty Talk, P in V sex unprotected, Creampie, Sweet, sweet aftercare

"Fuuuuck, baby, say it again. Please." Santiago begged from under you.

In this position, with Santi grasping onto the curve of your ass for salvation from himself, you feel more dominated than he covers you entirely. He controls every single movement of himself inside of you, your little doll that he could break over and over.

"Harder, Santiago, please." Santi was already drilling himself into at a fast rate but he's a man of determination and discipline and whatever you wanted, he'd give it to you in a heartbeat.

So when Santi gripped your ass even harder, moving his thick cock inside of you at a meteoric pace, your limbs became spastic around him. You grabbed his greying curls, his face, his broad, tanned, soft shoulders. Whatever you could to soothe your burning ache for him.

The only sound you could hear was your wetness slapping against him, the feel of his heavy balls hitting you over and over as he cursed in Spanish.

"Cariño, you like the way I fuck this pussy--my pretty pussy??" He gritted through his teeth, eyes on your bouncing breasts. Without warning, he nipped at one of your hard nipples, circling his tongue around the bud.

"Baby, don't stop I'm gonna--" You whined, higher than expected.

"Yeah? Cum, baby. Cum all over my fat cock, I'm fucking craving it. I wanna feel that tight pussy swallow me."

You didn't expect to wail as loudly as you did, nearly drowning out the sounds of Santiago pounding into you as you felt yourself spasm on top of him. Santiago pushed himself to the hilt of you, making you feel so incredibly full. He didn't want to make too much movement, he just wanted to watch how fucking astonishing it was when you released on his cock.

Unable to control himself, he released inside of you, spreading your cheeks open so he could push himself further down into you. He lifted you up, his cock splaying on his stomach as he leaked out of you, dripping his warmth onto his stomach.

The two of you stayed there for a moment of time you couldn't measure, it was like your own secret pocket in time while Santi continued to splay his large palm across your back to soothe you, whispering compliments in your ear.

"You did so well, baby. You're so fucking perfect, I don't know what to do with myself with you sometimes." He chuckles.

"It seems to me like you knew what you were doing." You said, he playfully furrowed his brow at you, planting a soft kiss on your lips. His forehead didn't leave yours as he carefully observed you.

"It's like you were made for me. And I was made for you." He says.

"Your cock was definitely made for me." You laugh.

"I'm serious. Sometimes I think about how much I love you and how if it was just you, me, no clothes and this shitty couch forever I'd be satisfied." Santi plants kisses all over your face as you grow warm with adoration. As tough as an exterior as Santiago liked to front, when it came to you all of that went away. No matter what variation of him, he was yours.

"Well, that can be arranged but we should probably order some dinner."

"Deal. Anything you want, cariño." Santi gently kissed your hand when you went to grab your phone, and the two of you carried on with your night.

#santiago garcia #santiago pope garcia #triple frontier #triple frontier fic #triple frontier fanfic #triple frontier smut #santiago garcia smut #santiago pope garcia smut #santiago garcia x reader #oscar isaac #oscar isaac fanfiction #oscar isaac smut #oscar isaac x you

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hotluncheddie · 1 year

Text

'but like, why do you like it so much?'

steve passes eddie the blunt; fingers, shoulders and thighs brushing or pushed flush as they're slumped on eddies floor. a black sabbath record plays softly in the background.

steve just can't seem to understand metal, or maybe he just can't understand how loud it always gets in his head when he listens to it. maybe he's just sensitive, after so many monster fights. if things are quiet, he's grateful.

eddie huffs, side eyeing steve a little as he shifts around. eddie's always moving, fidgeting, its just who he is and steve likes that. likes how reliable eddie moving around is, shifting in and out of his space. but right now he seems a little more on edge than usual. or than is usual after a couple shared blunts.

'stevie, its. its just good. it makes me feel good okay?' eddie spins his rings and puts a knuckle in his mouth. steve watched the movement. eddie has nice lips... and hands.

''i had a fucking, like, counselor of whatever once tell me that i needed things to help me focus and help me relax and help me if i ever felt overwhelmed or whatever. i only saw them like twice but they said music could do that for some people and i guess metal did it for me.' eddie shoves all this out onto steve in a slightly panicked way. which is the last thing steve wants. the last thing either of them need is more stress.

steve smiles at him, trying to show how completely none judgy he feels right now. 'okay.. so it makes you relax? all the noise. it helps?' he wants to understand. so so bad, steve just wants to understand the eddie munson he met after the upside down got closed, after life was put back together. eddie is really great and steve just, he feels good with eddie.

'yeah i like, need stuff sometime. need to move and feel a certain way to kinda scratch an itch i get in like, my bones. sometimes its a fucking ball ache, nothing helps. i can get so stressed out i wanna rip my skin off.' eddie says it with such a humourless laugh steves heart breaks a little. 'that's kinda part of why i took so long to graduate. can't focus in class if your skin is crawling, can't remember to do homework if you get home and gotta like, rock back and forth while staring at a wall for two hours just to feel like yourself again.' eddie is staring at the carpet now, eyes unfocused. steve wants to hear more, just so maybe he can help. maybe make it a little better one day. eddie deserves that.

'shit' ...okay so maybe steve is a little too high to help with words right now. but he stays pressed up next to eddie, hooks an ankle around he leg, keeps him close. hopes he keeps talking. that steve just being there is enough.

steve gets a little, tentative, smile out of eddie. his soul soars.

'you ever been to a live gig stevie?' steve shakes his head, no one ever comes to their little town and he honestly never really liked anyone enough to treck over to indi or chicago to see anything there.

'live music does it the best. just fucking letting go and feeling. all the noise and the bodies washing over you, getting inside you. its fucking magic.' eddie is smiling properly again, thank god steve thinks. he never wants to see eddie frown ever again.

'like, when you head bang, or go in a mosh pit, or just fucking sway to the music just right. it like sets all my insides right. like i'm all put together correct and it feels so good. feel like a hug maybe. like soothing or whatever, like so good over and over again. but everyone is doing it, all together. so you, you don't look like a freak you know?' oh no, he's frowning again. oh god, steve needs to fix it. eddies big cow eyes look sad again.

'mmm when i used to run laps, i'd get to a point where i was so tired it'd feel, like really good? like i could only focus on breathing in and out and everything else went quiet. is it. is it kinda like that ed's?' steve is too high for this. it feels important, and all he can come up with is this? fuck, harrington! your fumbling the ball here!

but eddie smiles at him, smiles all sweet and syrupy and his eyes are so pretty. steve is a goner. a big, too high goner for eddie musnon and his big dumb sparkly brown eyes.

'a little yeah stevie. a little something like that.' eddie is still twisting his rings and his leg is bouncing against the carpet and if he needs that to feel good steve hopes eddie never stops moving. hope he fidgets forever if it feels good, feels right.

'um, next time, next show, can i come too?' steve hadn't planned on inviting himself to a metal gig when he came over earlier, but found a lot of rational thought went out the window when he was around eddie. 'you show me what feels good yeah? wanna feel it too ed's.'

eddie looks at him with so much disbelief, steve is sure he fucked uo somehow. backtrack poised on his tongue, but eddie giggles, fucking giggles at him. steves heart melts out of his ass.

'ooh baby. i'll pop you concert cherry for sure!' eddie is cackling now, delighted it seems at the idea of steve at one of his gigs.. steve thinks eddie has a great laugh.

---

the blunt is long dead and steve is well on his way to passing out. he, he needs to get on the bed. get on the bed and try to not cuddle eddie too hard... a little is okay though.

'um steve? um thanks, by the way. for not like, thinking i'm weird or whatever, for what i said. those things i gotta do, i can't always help it? so thanks, for not thinking i'm a freak.'

steve tuggs eddie by the arm. too sleepy to talk, and not much to say anyway. tugs eddie up onto the mattress with him, up on the mattress and slings an arm over his stomach, a leg over both of eddies.

'never a freak ed's. ‘kay? never ever' steve falls asleep then and there, nestled in eddie munsons sheets, right where he belongs.

eddie can't help pressing a chased kiss to steves forehead. the big, kind, brave steve harrington asleep in his bed.

#steddie #steve x eddie #can u tell i just got back from a concert #this was not drafted like normal so i hope its okay?? i just wrote it #autistic eddie munson #kinda kinda #i dunno #hotlunch #my fic #neurodivergent eddie munson #drabbles

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greyyson-but-no · 1 year

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don't listen to them | tommyinnit

genre | fluff, slight angst

warnings | insecurities, a crying tommy, kissing and two 'i love you's, lowercase on purpose, unedited

pairing | tommyinnit x reader (you)

word count | 744 words

a/n | could this count as a blurb? shorter than usual but it was something quick i wrote yesterday and i just wanted to get it out as soon as possible. please continue sending in requests even though i'm shit at actually writing them, i promise i will get around to them asap [this is in no disrespect to molly in any way whatsoever]

sometimes, it could get too much. you knew that tommy had had bullying issues when he was in secondary and that led him to be a little self-conscious when the youtube/twitch career became huge but for the most part, he had handled it well. and anything that he hadn't, he had told you about and the two of you had gone through it together and had been fine.

it wasn't unusual for you to pop over uninvited, since you had the spare key to his flat and were seemingly more comfortable in his house that his own. what was unusual was that when you stepped inside and closed the door, you weren't greeted by a hyper tommy excited to see you. instead, silence.

"tom?" you called, waiting a few seconds, expecting him to come bounding around the corner, but greeted by nothing.

with furrowed eyebrows, you left the hall and went into his office, because maybe he was streaming? you always checked twitch before leaving and he hadn't been streaming, but he always could have started while you were on your way.

the lights were off. there were the string lights around the edge of the ceiling that were glittering softly but other than that the room was soaked in complete darkness. if he wasn't here, then you didn't know where he was. where he could have been. he wouldn't have been sleeping; it was four in the afternoon.

but there was a figure on the sofa. pushed up against the wall and curled into a small melancholy ball against the cushions. his eyes were closed, but he didn't have that sleeping look on his face that was the cutest thing ever. instead his eyebrows were furrowed, like he was frustrated from something. you wanted nothing more than to help him, whatever this was and whatever this meant. you hated seeing him like this.

"tommy? it's me.." you murmured, kneeling down against the side of the sofa and watching as he shook his head. "lovely, what's up?"

a small incoherent mumble came from him, but it wasn't an answer, nor the one you were looking for. ever so carefully, you grabbed his shoulders as turned him over so that he was facing you, hands moving up to his hair and combing through it softly, knowing it would comfort him somewhat.

"what are you..." you asked, trailing off when you saw the red in his eyes. your heart ached at the sight of him, you'd never seen him so broken and yet here he was.

"hi." he let out a half laugh, half sob and it broke your heart.

swallowing, you rubbed a hand against his cheek, pulling him up into a hug, arms around his neck, pulled as close as possible. you never wanted to let him go, you never wanted to see him like this again. you wanted to rid the world of every single possible problem that could possibly bother him. "god, tommy, what happened? y-" but you couldn't finish your sentence.

he shrugged. "i think i took a few comments too seriously, that's all."

"tom, we've spoken about this." you told him, still keeping your eyes soft as your hand still rested on his cheek, his palms wrapped around each arm, as if he was latched on for life. "you can't be looking at comments for too long."

"eh, i know, it was just too tempting." he explained, breaking eye contact and looking downwards instead. "you know what i'm like."

pulling his forehead down, you pressed a soft kiss on his forehead and leant yours against his, smiling down at him. "you know none of them are right, yeah? you're brilliant, cute and fucking hilarious tommy, nothing they say against you is true."

"yeah, i know." he nodded, swallowing thickly. "just sometimes gets too much."

"that's fine. it's fine if you sometimes need to take a step back, just please, never let yourself get like this alone. message me, or give me a ring, please anything, i hate seeing you like this." you told him, telling the truth one hundred percent and watching as he smiled at you and nodded.

"i love you."

"love you too, honey." you softly kissed him. "wanna play something? what about the sims?"

tommy nodded, now grinning, the redness in his eyes slowly disappearing. "yeah! come on!" and he grabbed your hand pulling you up and surely to his office. everything would be okay. you couldn't help but smile at the returning grin on his lips.

#cute prompts #tommyinnit #tommyinnit x reader #tommyinnit x reader fluff #tommyinnit fluff #tommyinnit angst #streamer fanfiction #fanfiction #comfort streamer fanfiction #tom simons #tom simons x reader

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ikemenomegas · 1 month

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Our faults lie flattered

title drawn from the bard's Sonnet 138 summary: You ruminate on your relationship with Gojo Satoru, to whom you no longer owe anything, and wake up beside Shoko, to whom you owe much more than you've given cw: omegaverse setting, unhealthy (very) consumption of alcohol, brief emetophobia, passive thoughts about partners/mates following one another into death, canonical character's (probably permanent) death, implications of an afterlife, explorations of grief and abandonment

Do you dream about him still?

Shoko's voice traces smoky through the vaultless sky, an equal echo to how she'd looked at you - with pity and a physician's distant, seeking stare - a short glass in her hand, ball of ice melting into the whiskey inside. She'd asked the question as a mouthful of whatever cocktail you had filled your mouth with enough sweetness to forget how much alcohol was in it but for the way it burned its way down. Even that was more easily blamed on the kick of sriracha behind the aperol.

It gave her time to watch for the uptick in your pulse, or the way your chest tightened and made it hard to swallow.

No, you had said once it was down, the words thick in your throat. Really, I hardly think of him at all these days.

She'd frowned, which she really should have probably done more of considering you were again drinking to forget, for the soft, fluttering hints of better days before memory was shunted away into a dizzy haze.

It was true, but it was also intentional. Every ache in your chest was pushed aside, ever overwhelming tide was overstepped. After he'd returned from the box, you had already indulged in over a month of speculations regarding your intentions and his, even before he'd... gone, and how he had set you free.

You sucked on the herbed sugar rimming your glass. Free, all free, of obligation, of oath, of aching for something-- you slammed down the wide base of the stemmed glass, eyes shadowed.

It was true. If you didn't think on him, you would not remember him. You couldn't remember all the things left undone, unsaid, all the questions left unanswered...

He hadn't left you with even a scar to remember him by.

Your head was heavy when you lifted it and smiled, as much for Shoko's benefit as for the bartender warily eying you, fiddling with the towel swung over his shoulder as if unsure what to do with his hands. I'll get over it. I will. It's taking time, but I don't... I try not to dwell on it, Shoko, you know that, your tongue was clumsy, slow as you enunciated.

She knew, you knew she did, but it seemed suddenly very important to remind her. How you didn't think how in his last moments, the man you'd sworn your life to hadn't wanted you, how he'd said goodbye without looking back, how he hadn't known you weren't watching.

You were getting over your partner dying, it was not uncommon. One would always outlive the other. As much as it was not common to be cut in half...

You stomach had turned like you'd been upended, the room nearly spinning like you'd suddenly decided to stand on the ceiling.

A party trick, Satoru had called it when you'd done it before. You'd been full of paltry games and parlour tricks, magic disguised as slight of hand, light at your fingertips, fire on your tongue, hovering in the air like a hummingbird.

Couldn't one be forgiven, when they never knew they'd grow up with it, for enjoying that it was real, for finding magic a little beautiful for all that it was terrible?

Your hand went to your mouth and you could have laughed, loud and raucous and taunting, at the way the bartender grabbed for his towel. Shoko hadn't done more than press a hand to your shoulder to keep you from falling to the floor as you wobbled on the stool. You'd never thrown up on the battlefield, nor from old soup, not even from being nailed in the stomach by curses or fellow sorcerers or Yaga's awful little cursed corpses.

Being sick had been his thing. He'd get horrible nausea before his cycles sometimes and his breathe would smell constantly of the ginger candies you'd found for him to take off the edge.

Your smile threatened to falter and even behind your hand, you forced it wider to belie the soft, pained sound which left your lips.

You hadn't cried either, since he died. It hurt too much for that, a pain beyond reckoning, which you had no right to anymore. It wouldn't kill you, his death, no matter how much you almost wanted it to.

Shoko's glass was over half full and fully inviting, but it wouldn't knock you out fast enough for this to all go away, to lock itself back behind the wall your mind seemed to have built to save you from daze that lurked beyond, tapping at the barrier in unwanted moments.

He hadn't wanted this to hurt you. That is what you hoped, but even though you'd made the choice to follow his plan, to remove your mark, it wasn't what you had wanted.

Drinking had hereto seemed to keep dreams, good and bad, from intruding upon the kind of sleep which never left you feeling rested.

This, blue above and blue ahead, was much nicer than what you remembered of the bar - although it too had been fairly nice. A peaceful expanse of sand, water shushing on your right, a breeze whispering in your ear, gardens with wooden walkways tempting you inland on the left.

A frisson ran through the air, there was an unnatural slash through the trees, but you shook it away and it was nothing, gone, grown over.

Here, you relaxed, you were intent upon it. Although surrounded by water on all sides, seldom had coming to the ocean been a relaxing experience, not when you were constantly called to the scenes of natural disasters or into the orbit of fates far greater than your own.

The water was oddly calm.

You went closer, feeling sand slide soft between your toes. It looked like the tide was going out, the flat expense of saturated sand washed wet with each grasp of the waves. It smoothed things like glass, washing away marks and footprints.

Your reflection matched you step for step when you veered towards that boundary.

Watching that hypnotizing barrier was probably why you didn't notice the figure occupying this in-between until their reflection bloomed by yours.

Your head jerked up, lips parted in silent surprise.

He was facing towards the horizon, his back turned towards you although you should have been able to see his profile with the way you were walking... best to leave it alone.

The wind kicked up, ruffling the soft fall of white hair about his temples. It blew harder and harder, ruffling the sea into little white capped waves, and then it passed.

Things settled back down around the little bubble of disbelief that had halted your steps without a single any movement from...

His name still tasted like poison on your lips, your throat closed around it, keeping it from choking free.

At the funeral, they would have given him some long, solemn, symbolic precept name, making it safe for him to be called, but somehow you couldn't bring yourself to invoke him. Maybe it was out of fear, and certainty that there was no way for him to answer.

Instead, you shuffled forward, heels drawing dashed tracks in the sand as you dragged your feet.

His bulk was familiar as your pressed first your fingers - to check that he would not collapse into mist at a touch - and then your palms like the start of wings on his back.

Was it only imagination that said he leaned into it? Shifting his perfectly balanced weight a little bit further back as you leaned your cheek flat between your palms, your ear turned far enough to catch the imagined sound of his lungs as his ribs shifted minutely against your touch.

How long had you wanted this? How long did you have it? You'd given it up, from fear, from a petty envy that you'd thought yourself above. His grasp on your had been tenuous at best, tied as you were by choice rather than fate-

Isn't it fate to share the world at the same moment-

-and you had held on just as lightly, like letting light lay over your palms rather than trying to grip it tight where it would just slip away.

You had thought him made of distance. Was he incapable of connecting with others, or simply unwilling? It had always seemed to be part of both.

He is not warm beneath your hands, in the same way the light in this place must be sun yet is not warmth and the water that much be sea is not cool. But he is there. Whether in a memory or as a visitor, drawn here by lowered inhibitions, who knew.

You had spent years forgetting that for all the distance between all people, all things, they found ways to come together again, to intertwine, in resonance or coalition.

You breathed, once, twice. Now he shifted, unmistakable.

You took half a step back. Your hands slipped down the powder-soft material of his shirt, from his shoulder-blades, and down his ribs.

Once, many years ago, you had been warned that one could grow tired of his beauty. And that was true. Like a cut stone, as a whole, one could grow used to him, the eye drawn instead to new flickers and bends in the depths, glimmers from within rather than the form as a whole.

It was those glimmers of light which winked back at you, emotion condensed into memory: times he made the ache in your chest almost feel like two sides of a wound touching, moments in which you believed wholeheartedly and without force in the presence of his humanity. Remembering those first odd days of your courtship when you couldn't fathom why he would come to you for anything tilted things sideways before you righted yourself.

In the end, none of these hopes had been yours. Maybe they could have been. Had you forgotten that you indeed could catch sunlight, that you did it every day of every summer unless the sky was filled with thunder? In which case, the drum of that could be yours too.

Still, that would have made him part of you, and Satoru had always been resistant to being subsumed.

Regardless, you would never know now. He would always and forever have been only almost yours.

What are you doing here... I've missed you

You kept your hands pressed to his back even as you thought Of course someone would miss a near constant, we'd known each other for almost thirteen years.

This seemed to be the way it always was. When you missed him too much, thought about him too much, you ended up dreaming about him. Even before you had married him, after he'd stuck himself into your life like a thorn, there had been times it had eased the ever present loneliness.

And there had been just as many times that you woke feeling more alone than ever, knowing you would never get the version of Satoru that visited in your dreams, belonging only to you.

This Satoru, scarless and uncovered and determinedly not ash, spoke in echos. "I've missed you," he said.

It makes you grit your teeth against whatever is behind that wall, threatening to wash away everything you've tried to hold onto.

"If you say so." It leaves your lips careless, all your bitter feelings held back by habit, all the cruel accusations you never wanted to level at him.

But this time, there's nothing to salvage by it, so after a few moments, you let go of him, let that distance that never seemed to fade fall back between the two of you, and started walking.

He followed, tethered by consciousness or whatever stuff had summoned the object of both your longing and your ire.

In the back of your mind, you knew the scenery was changing, even though it didn't feel like it. It meant you didn't know how long you walked, the white shoulder of his shirt bobbing in and out of your peripheral vision. You let yourself feel the comfort of knowing he was there, of knowing that you belonged at his side for one more brief moment.

He sometimes talked like an imitation of a human. Greetings he didn't mean, inquiries to which he had no interest in the answer - or maybe he did. He liked people, heavens knew why, even if his attention seemed to move on as quickly as it was piqued.

He followed, seeming content enough, your momentary Eurydice. For some reason, the thought of turning around to face him was unbearable. You were afraid you wouldn't remember his face, or that you would remember it wrong, and wake up knowing that a little more of him had abandoned you.

Oh well, maybe it didn't matter, anymore.

You reached, briefly, behind you, like you'd sometimes used to do on the rare occasions Satoru walked home with you. Just like then, a shimmering dread filled your chest - only then it had been that he'd leave you grasping, fingers wiggling stupidly for him so everyone who walked by you knew beyond a doubt that your own mate didn't even want to hold your hand. There was no one here, although the beach had the warm, surrounding feeling of summer.

Anticipatory tears still began to prick your eyes, humiliation, disappointment brought on by a terrible confirmation of your worst expectations, dejection, it all rippled over you, just quick enough to take off the edge. It could only be your imagination that something soft as a breeze seemed to brush your fingertips before you pulled your hands back and fisted them in the long, light coat trailing from your shoulders.

One could neither see nor touch the dead after all.

This may be the last time you got to make your confessions. He'd returned to you in neither dream nor vision before this.

Why would he when what he wanted was where he had gone?

You took a deep breathe and blew it out. You were far and away old enough now to know acknowledging ill feelings dispelled them faster than trying to pretend you didn't have them. Mastering this was your power, take the blow, let it linger, and in this way it wouldn't hurt you. But he had always hit harder and faster than anyone else you ever knew, always able to overwhelm your ability to endure if you were in contact with him long enough.

Recalling the clean snap of both bones in your right forearm breaking is just as easy as remembering the look of surprise, of denial, of arrogance and somehow, of remorse, that had crossed Satoru's face the first time you'd let him hurt you.

What would it have taken to at least make sure that appearance of contrition remained, or at least perplexity in realizing it was his hand causing a pain that fit no specific purpose?

The inland treeline broke around a cluster of coconut trees, green fruits clustered beneath the leaves.

You looked up between the wide fronds.

"I wanted you to love me." I tried so hard not to have anything in me that needed saving. Somehow, it feels like you've been talking for hours, like you're answering a question he never asked. Sometimes you could walk hand in hand like that, like this, for what felt like hours, saying nothing, saying everything. The pressure would ease between you, leaving things feeling renewed, like after a gentle rain.

What kind of life was it where you crushed yourself down smaller and smaller, trying to make yourself unobtrusive among the noisy clutter that surrounded him? It hadn't been like that every day, but there had been days where you'd felt that you needed to be so small in order to earn the larger fraction marriage said you were supposed to be able to claim.

"I did."

A wet roll of your eyes, teeth in your lip. How ridiculous, how stupid, to coddle yourself at this stage of things.

"Liar." The dull accusation trips from your mind to your mouth even when it really is your fault. You should not have shrunk small even if it was your way (his knuckles had been warm right before they snapped your radius). You should have opened a way for him to let the soft animal of his body nestle against yours, build a den for him, let his infinity fill your well to bursting if need be. But I wasn't the one with a black hole where my heart should be. I should have loved you better.

I should have burdened you with being human instead of me. Was I not selfish enough?

"Not a lie," he said, voice low, musical and light at your back. And not there.

"A lie," you insisted in a half-whispered, miserable and lonely and alone. You'd been lonely for a long time. I should have loved you better, even though it wasn't me you loved.

He'd never held you, not like normal people were supposed to hold the ones they loved - like they needed them, like they needed the weight to hold them down, like they needed another body to fill the space between their arms.

In the way of dreams you were at his back again without every having turned to look at his face. You pressed your cheek against his spine.

"Lie to me." Your voice cracked in a pleading command, thick in your throat.

A heavy fine-fingered hand petted your head. In the way of dreams, he held you now against his chest without having moved. Had you walked down the beach at all or were you still trapped on that same stretch of shore?

"I do love you," he whispered after a pause, "I did. Best I could." So earnest, all that pointed, crystalline emptiness open to accept you.

Was it emptiness, or simply vastness? I had to believe I belonged in this world to survive it. Why couldn't I believe I was part of yours?

"I am never going to see you again," you whispered.

There was a smile in Satoru's voice. "I wouldn't be so sure about that. You miss me."

In the way of dreams, that last word was both binary and indistinct, me becoming something like 'us'.

Reflexive, bitter denial rose up in you. Refusing the embrace of longing so long had made it second nature. After many years and many lessons, the gaps in your defenses had been shored up well against loss. Perhaps too well. You wanted to hold tight the figure against you as much as you wanted to push him away.

In the salt-scented wind that picked up, you instinctually closed your eyes. When you opened them, he was gone and you were alone again.

You looked around for a short time before concluding in the strange taffy-stretched time of dreams that you really were alone. In that moment, a whisper carried on the breeze, unmistakable.

"We miss you."

You'd told him, your subconscious, to lie to you. The dream was thinning now, but there was just enough realism left for you to wrinkle your nose in the way Shoko was starting to tell you would stick on your face, and mutter "asshole."

Shoko hummed lightly, sighing and rolling over in bed. She'd never been a very sound sleeper, something that had once been reassuring as you always knew immediately if she was beside you. "Me?" She murmured, both offended and amused.

You made a brief, thin groan in the negative. Ah, your eyes hurt almost like you'd never closed them and your skin was ice cold even beneath a light cover. Summer wasn't all done, yet it felt so cold, all your warmth turned inward.

Moonlight shone so bright upon Shoko through the window, making her almost a toneless painting, both stark and somewhat impressionistic with lithe limbs peaking from sleeves and legs of a short pajama set.

You feel more tired having obviously slept, and dreamt, than you felt was comfortable upon waking. Blinking slowly caused the world to sort of shimmer at the edges, and the blocks of silver and black that shaped Shoko among the hotel linens were incredibly fascinating. You were still drunk then, although without the sour dizziness of hangover, so she must have gotten some water into you before you stopped remembering the evening.

Your closed your eyes shut tight.

You'd started to worry you'd forget it, but if only. His voice lingered like the taste of sugar syrup in your mouth, as good as if his lips had been on yours instead of his memory hijacked by your own faithless wishes, whispering in your ear.

It was easier to allow your guilt and your anger their few moments of devotion. They were your most constant companions now, you had known them even before you had known about others like you.

Moonlight comes in after, like a silver balm. If you'd had your choice, you would have been fully a night creature. Starlight and moonlight did not burn or press against you like the light of day did, ever seeking an outlet once you let its boundless, burning brightness in.

Once your power had grown enough to affirm itself, sunlight had been the easiest of energies to convert, almost instinctual. It pressed right against the skin and sunk in without needing to know where the edges of it were, it gave itself to you.

Suguru had loved to talk about sorcery, about magic, child hthat he'd been, with normal parents and from a country town like you. He had liked to talk about it with you. He had once guessed that the way you had been forced to learn so quickly to cycle power, to change it, had tried pushing a separation between it and you so it wouldn't burn you from the inside you, is part of what slowed your progress, your exploration as a sorcerer.

Surely he would be gratified now, to see the way you inhabited your body. Yet you did not feel one with your power (not like him). You inhabited it to, as it filled and moved from and through you, but you were never it and it was never you.

Nevertheless, moonlight washed over you like warm bathwater, and starlight like the touch of a faint summer breeze. You wished it were as cool as it looked with your eyes open.

Suddenly, you were very tired. You recognized it by now as the tug of sleep that sometimes came after drinking enough to loosen the perpetual balled tightness of your body.

Enough to admit you missed him and the quiet that surrounded him, the true cool of the waiting void between all things. He was so good at making one feel lonely, so familiar a loneliness it was almost easy to fall into it by memory alone... but no. There was someone in this room with you, in the bed. Her skin was warm. Her scent was cool.

You remembered meeting them, truly meeting them, not that first day in Tokyo when you'd barely cared what happened or where you were, who you met, what voices overlapped in the halls.

It had been like standing in the shade after spending years baking in a field in July. Only one of your tall trees was left.

"I am not sure," you mumbled sleep threatening to drag you back down, "I would have been good to you if I'd picked you from the start." It would be easier to stay silent, to let things remain as they were, not to risk her pulling away from you, but you'd done that once already, and look where it had ended. This acknowledgement brings you back to shallow waking, a fish hooked through the mouth.

Shoko's beautiful brown eyes are a little hazy but the shadows beneath haven't been as deep, not since they two of you have been away and Shoko has been able to sleep.

She blinks once, slowly. How did she see you? You had been altered, colored, by his presence in your life, strange and momentary as it had been.

"I think I was a special kind of awful, with you. What kind of person keeps giving someone hope again and again, when so much else points to never being able to offer more?"

It's all too easy to see how she tries to smile and doesn't manage it. It's not okay, so she doesn't say it is, but it happened and you're here anyway so she doesn't say it's not. You think that maybe she doesn't fault you for being selfish, but she also might have once wanted for more from you, more you couldn't give, more you gave to someone else.

The yawning empty you tried day after day to avoid ached in your chest as your own words from the dream came back to you. Some part of you both hoped and grieved that you would never see him again. Why should you? You might have stepped into your power, but there were plenty of times that, trapped between geniuses and impossible power-houses, you felt... incidental. You certainly shared no thread of fate with him.

The bitter old thought sent another pang through your chest, but you let it pass over and then through you.

There would be other lives, but none, you hoped and grieved, like this one.

For a very long time you had resisted the opaqueness of Shoko's eyes, acknowledging that she pressed her own wants even further down than you. She was stronger than you for not resenting you getting something that eventually you had begun to want.

She did not look at you with longing or expectation, or the apprehension you might expect. Someone had told you before that marriage made people into poor friends. You had told yourself it would not be so for you, yet you'd gotten swept up in your own private troubles just the same.

You wondered, if she wanted it, whether you now could offer her what could not be offered to you.

You didn't need another life, another chance. There was not much to be gained from starting anew with all these old pains washed away.

Your pinky twitched. Shoko smiled when she saw it but did not reach for you and you did not fight the heaviness in your limbs to try to move further.

She'd be there in the morning, you were sure of it, as sure as you were there would be more of these confounding nights where such thoughts swam about your head like fishes. There was time, now.

#jjk #gojo satoru x reader #ieri shoko x reader #jjk x reader #omegaverse #myy oc #io.myy

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itsonlyvegas · 1 year

Text

Tartaglia Childe Ajax

a/n it seems like i write for myself more than anything now so i thought i'd pump out something that was inspired from my own personal fanfic :) INFO - Gender Neutral Reader, Dom!Childe, slight possessiveness if u squint. **NSFW**

Tartaglia always feels like he should help you. Schoolwork, fighting, eating, sleeping—you name it, and he'll help out. So if you ever need anything, don't hesitate to ask him. However, he can go a bit extreme with it. If you're not careful, he might end up helping you too much…

He knows it's weird, but he just doesn't know how to stop himself from doing so. He loves you so much that he doesn't even know how to put it into words or actions. He knows that sometimes you don't like to show sparring as a love language and sometimes you just want to be left alone, but he wants to do whatever he can to make sure everything is okay between the two of you. It's funny how something as small as a request for help can make him so happy. "Ajax, can you get me (x,y,z)?" You'd ask him to get you something and his heart would flutter at the fact you're dependent on him. He's so whipped so OBVIOUSLY he'd do it for you. Need help with a university homework question? He's got you. Need help sparring against a hard boss? Yep. He'll carry you. Those bags too heavy? Leave it to him. It gets a bit wild in bed, though. While he is helpful and loving outside of the bedroom, he's even more so in there. However… don't expect a handout when it comes down to the line. From hot kisses littering your skin in a desperate attempt to stay right there with you, to hugs that seem to last forever… He's bound to try and take charge eventually. You won't regret it. The heat radiating off his body will cause you to forget about anything else. He's whipped. He'd go faster and harder if you begged - deeper if possible. His balls ache for that sweet release and his stomach churns as he hears those buttery moans slip right past your puffy lips. "Need more?" He'd ask you. He has you in a missionary position so he can see your beautiful, flushed face in all its glory. Still. He can't resist the urge to give you a little push upwards, to watch you gasp as your hips rise off the bed from his strong, large (yet boney) hands. "Yes." You'll whimper, reaching back to grab him by his thick, soft hair. You're melting under him, twitching and moaning. His voice is hoarse. He's panting. Your legs are quivering underneath him. "Fuck me harder," you beg, begging as you bite your lip. In response, Tartaglia would pull out every trick in the book to please you. He'll pound into you harder. He'll fuck you harder. He'll taste you harder. He'll kiss you harder. He'll make you moan louder than you've ever moaned before… all for his precious love. And when it all comes to a spicy halt… He'll drill down deep inside of you. He'll curl his fingers around your hip bones as he does so. You'll squirm, trying to get closer to him so you can just feel the way his muscles twitch and relax under your touch. The way he holds you tight makes it feel like you're always on that same wavelength - always in sync and never faltered. And when he cums, he always seems to have his lips or mouth on you one way or another. A breathy gasp and throaty groan on your collarbone or a long sloppy kiss on your lips. When he pulls away, you'd look up at him, your entire body glowing from head to toe. He's never seen you more beautiful than you are right in this moment. Even those expensive clothes he knows you'd like or even that new book from the publishing house in Inazuma seem dull compared to the glow of your cheeks. "I'm yours…" You whisper. "Always. Even after we part ways." he replies. "Forever." you agree, smiling softly and cuddling close to him. And fate always plays in funny ways. Staying together right here in this moment - all with sweaty limbs and warm hearts - feels like it will last a lifetime. Your careful lover will always be one with you… even if you were to part ways.

#genshin x you #genshin impact smut #tartaglia smut #childe smut #genshin x reader #genshin x y/n #weeeee if this gets good reception i'll def post more :3 #childe x reader #tartaglia x reader

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falltothesun · 2 months

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At my workplace we have a rotating cast of guests that come and give talks and work with the senior faculty. Myself and others in my office are sometimes tasked with hosting and generally being gracious and welcoming to these guests...

I'm tasked with taking him to dinner one night. I offer him a ride back to his hotel as well, since the buses here are erratic and it's not far out of my way.

At dinner, I don't order a drink- I'm driving, after all- but pills dissolve just as easily in the mocktail I order. As my brain starts to go fuzzy, I keep apologizing to him for how tired I'm getting, never even considering that was his fault. He just smiles and suggests we call the night early, that he doesn't mind at all.

By the time I've stumbled back to my car, I'm putty in his hands. He drives us to the hotel with one hand on the wheel and the other already under my shirt, down my pants, fingers pressing into me while I moan and mumble dazedly, nothing getting past the fog of pleasure in my mind.

He throws me facedown onto the hotel bed, and wastes no time ripping my clothes away. Goddamn, he growls, though I can barely understand it, I'll have to come back more often if they're dropping fuckmeat like you into my hands.

His cock splits my cunt open, hands gripping my hips tight enough to bruise. He fucks me like he wants to bruise my cervix, driving deep and fast and unforgiving. As I dip in and out of consciousness, I can hear him panting and groaning and muttering. Fuck, you're so tight. Haven't had pussy this good in too long. God, you're even getting wet on my cock like a real slut, aren't you? Enjoying being raped, huh? Fuck, take it deep, slut.

I can't do anything as he uses me for hours, emptying his balls inside me more times than I can count, especially in my drugged and fucked out haze. He alternates between holes, fucking my mouth and my ass, leaving them messy and used, but he seems to like my cunt the best.

I wake up shivering in the backseat of my car, aching and bruised. It takes me a while to maneuver my stiff body into the driver's seat, start the car with shaking fingers, and drive home to shower and clean up. Later that day, I apologize for showing up late to work, and quickly ready myself for the afternoon meetings.

He's there, presenting something or other. I can't focus, because his eyes keep finding me in the crowd. Whenever they do, I feel my pussy start to leak, remembering how thoroughly it was used. When the meeting ends, he stops me before I leave and leans in to let me know I should meet him at his hotel room again- unless I want certain pictures to start circulating the company.

So that night, of course, he bends me over the hotel bed. Now that I'm fully sober, I feel every inch as he fucks into me, and I hear every degrading word he grunts between thrusts.

Our field isn't that big, so word spreads quickly that guests visiting my workplace need only show me the photos they possess, and they get their own personal fuckdoll to rape as long as they visit. Maybe I could go to my superiors about it, but they're so very happy that they've become so popular...

#from sun #ftm ns/fw #ftm cnc #ftm nsft #ftm sub #cnc fr33use #cnc fantasy #free use cnc #cnc k!nk #r@pe fantasy #r@pe kink #r@petoy #ftm free use #nsft

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mudgazing · 4 months

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Just this once

(After rewatching Atomgrad ep 4 i needed to write some Farah and Alex angst + hurt/comfort)

Farah sighs raggedly, wrapping herself tighter in her sheets as nausea courses through her body. She should have been up over an hour ago. Deep down she knows why she can’t get up, but she’ll never admit it. Alex calls out, rapping on the door with urgency. “Commander! Are you alright?” “I’m fine!” She sighs, closing her eyes briefly. A face flashes in her mind. Blood running down his forehead like a disgraced prince.

Fuck you, Hadir.

“It’s unlike you to be late for anything.” His deep, warm voice travels into her ears, temporarily pulling her out of her rage.

“Are you alright?” Gathering her strength, Farah sits up, head swimming. Through the fog, she stumbles towards the door, one desire rising above the rest.

Part of her is saturated with guilt – a war is raging, her brain and body are overworked to the point where she can barely serve – and confusingly, all she wants is a little human comfort. How selfish, Farah chides sarcastically to herself as she cracks open the door. Alex gazes at her kindly as she’s swaddled in the sheets. “You’re clearly not alright,” He slips into the room, hands on his hips. “You got a fever, Karim?” “Likely.” As she retreats back to bed, he trails a respectful distance behind her.

“I don’t know what could cause this. I’ve been eating what I usually eat, and —”

“You? Eat?” He scoffs good naturedly. “I do eat, Alex. Sometimes.” She mumbles the last word while turning to face away from him. She hates being seen like this, so incapacitated and vulnerable. “Cigarettes don’t count.” He pulls up her desk chair beside the bed and plops down. “You have troops to delegate. That’s an order.” Farah shivers. “Already did.” “So you’re shirking personal responsibilities then?” She rolls over to face him, grimacing as beads of sweat appear on her forehead. Alex pulls out a handkerchief from his tac vest. “My responsibility now is …”He carefully wipes her head, speaking softly. “Takin’ care of you, Commander.” Farah swallows hard, eyes glued to him as he gets up and searches for her first aid kit. “I’ve been feeling hot and cold since last night. Aching all over. Nauseous as well, but no vomiting.” Alex returns to her side, handing her a thermometer. She shoves it in her mouth. “What do you think could have caused this, Alex?” She murmurs. He looks sideways at her, forearms resting on his thighs as the thermometer's cap turns idly in his hands. “Yesterday's mission. I could tell you were under more stress than usual.” “Don’t worry about me — I’ve been through worse.” She sighs with resignation, closing her eyes. He pulls the thermometer out of her mouth. “99 degrees Fahrenheit.”

“Fuck.” Farah opens her eyes, thick brows creased in annoyance and concern. “Your body couldn’t take it anymore.” He continues, shaking up a brown bottle of pain reliever. “Seeing Hadir die was the straw that broke the camel’s back.”

He pours the dark syrup into the cap and passes it to her. “My wounds will heal in time. They need to. There’s still lots of work to do.” She shudders a bit while downing the liquid. “Of course they’ll heal, you’ve got one strong camel.” A fleeting smile passes her face at the shitty joke. He turns to face her, good knee touching the bed while his face grows serious. “I’m so fucking angry at what he did. And yet, when you knocked on the door this morning …” Tears rim her dark, sleep deprived eyes. “I was half expecting it to be him. I am – was – his sister. We helped each other survive, and he had the audacity to say stealing the gas was for Urzikstan, for us… ” Her voice rises, taking on an angry and desperate edge. She slowly opens her tightly balled fists, shuddering.

“I apologize, I got carried away.” “Farah.” He leans back in the chair, pulling off his gloves. “You should be the last person on earth to apologize.”

“Death is around us every day. I don't have time to mourn, I should be re-strategizing with you. I'm well enough to talk…”

“No, you should relax.” Alex places a firm hand on her shoulder. “You're not thinking straight. I’ll … I’ll go digging for some intel and..."

They stare at each other for a moment, waiting on bated breath. Every nerve in Farah’s body tingles with yearning while he brushes loose, sweat damp hairs from her face. She allows herself to lean into the caress just this once.

#alex keller #farah karim #mw2 #alex cod #cod modern warfare #cod mwii #cod drabble #drabble #farah x alex #farahalex #faralex

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mrsweasley23 · 10 months

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Steve can't get no satisfaction...

Another Saturday night at Steve's house, the boys chilling on the sofa with a few films and beers.

"You okay man? You look really fucking tired," Eddie asked.

Steve scoffed. "Thanks for that, dickhead. Not sleeping great to be honest,"

Eddie grinned. "Don't worry. You're still a ten, even when you look like a bag of shit."

Steve punched him in the arm as his face lit up with laughter.

"Nightmares?" Eddie ventured softly.

Steve's hand crept to the back of his neck as he hesitated. "Um, not really... It's.. er... kind of embarrassing to be honest."

"Zero fucking judgement here, man... you never know, I might have some outstanding pearls of wisdom"

"Alright. Fuck....well...I'm just..." he paused. "um... I'm really horny all the time. I mean it. Like all the fucking time." He flushed, speaking into his lap.

Eddie's eyes widened, darkened as he steddied his breath.

"So what... you're spending all night jerking off?"

Steve shrugged, a nervous chuckle escaping. "Wouldn't make a difference if I did. Seriously, as soon as I've cum, it's there again. I want it again. You...um, ever feel like that?"

"Sometimes, I guess. But usually, I just fucking pass out...Sorry man, not what you needed to hear. I pretty much thought orgasms were Mother Nature's sleep aid to all."

Steve groaned. "I fucking wish. Instead I'm just laid awake, feeling like..." He scrunched his fist and face up simultaneously, his bottom lip catching his teeth and it took everything Eddie had, not to bite his fist.

"And, maybe getting laid would help, but, I just... I don't know...I just haven't really wanted to...there's not really anyone I... I dunno...," he tailed off.

"Exhausted the Hawkins pool, Harrington?" Eddie chuckled. "Maybe you need to cast that net wider."

"Maybe...I just wish I could take the edge off myself so I'm not walking round all the time feeling so fucking desperate."

"Does...um...porn help?"

"Erm...I've never really been into looking at... like naked pics or anything", he mumbled. "I kinda prefer to just...you know...imagine stuff."

//Oh. I fucking know//

"But now that's just making you even more frustrated?"

"Pretty much. First world problems, eh. Too horny," he shook his head as he sighed.

"It's not stupid, Steve" he offered gently. "It's clearly bothering you and stopping you sleeping."

"I just wish I could just like...cum and it stop, you know?"

Eddie gulped. "You wanna cum so hard you pass out?"

"Ideally. But I'd take just feeling satisfied after shooting my shot. Rather than this...fucking constant ache to just...sorry, Eds. This is too much. I shouldn't...you don't want to hear this shit."

//If there's any shit I do want to hear, it's that's Steve Harrington spends every waking moment ready to be fucked//

"Don't be silly. Basic locker room talk. I can handle it, big boy."

Steve chuckles and rests his head on Eddie's shoulder. "Thanks for not thinking I'm a total fucking weirdo."

"Never," Eddie smiled. "Now, let's do what I do best. Let's talk strategy!"

"Strategy?"

"Two young wanderers on a quest in pursuit of sexual satisfaction for King Steve,"

"Oh, fuck off with the King..."

"Sorry... Princess Stevie," he bit back with a wink.

"Now, Princess, you must be bold. Now is not the time to be faint hearted,"

"Okay..."

"Tell me how you're jerking off,"

Steve buried his head in his hands. "Fucking hell, Eds".

"Come on. We're talking strategy so we need to know what you've tried so we can come up with alternatives. And maybe a solution..."

//Please, please, please let me be the solution//

"Well, I can't fucking look at you when I say this," Steve muttered, shifting himself so he had his back to Eddie.

"Fine by me", Eddie chuckled, turning himself so his back lightly pressed against Steve's, facing opposite sides of the room, hoping Steve couldn't feel his pounding heart.

"Right... um... so I usually just lube up and go for it. Maybe tug my balls a bit. I've tried doing it faster, slower, tighter. Still no fucking relief,"

"Have you...um...have you, you know, 'explored the back door' so to speak?"

"What...?"

Eddie swallowed thickly. "I like.. um... I mean... some guys like to... um...right, there's a spot inside a guy's ass that is really fucking sensitive. And it feels really fucking good to have something press against it."

Steve's whole body tensed against Eddie's back. "Oh...shit...really? Like a finger?"

"Sure. Finger. Fingers. Maybe something else, you know, um... keep the hands free so you can still... um... do your usual thing."

"So you think I should try, like, slip a finger in? While I'm jacking off?"

//Lord, I'm going to die tonight//

"It can make orgasms pretty intense so maybe worth a shot,"

Silence hung in the air between them.

"Do you.. erm... sorry, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to but is that something you do? Something you like?"

"It's fine. We're all friends here. Yes, Princess Stevie. I love a finger or two up my ass and I think you would too".

"And...erm...and you said other things?"

Eddie sighed. "Just because you look like you haven't slept for a week and you really need this, Steve, I'm going to tell you something I've never told another living soul,"

"You don't have to..."

"Hush boy", Eddie said in his best Wayne drawl. "Let me talk."

//Here goes fucking nothing//

"OK... sometimes I like to lie on my back and push a dildo into my ass when I masturbate. Sometimes I... um...kinda bounce up and down on one while I have my hand on my cock."

Silence. Then when Eddie feels like he can't possibly survive another second...

"How does it feel?"

"Notgonna lie, it feels fucking amazing, to be filled up, to have something pushing again and again into that fucking spot. You wanna cum so hard you're fucking DONE? That's the way Steve,"

"Oh"

Silence again.

"Maybe I should... um... start with a finger. Smaller. I've never had anything... up...in...". He wriggles a little, as if imagining the sensation.

"I concur. Start small. Lots of lube. Take your time."

"Got plenty of that. All fucking night. Every night."

"Well, hopefully, this might help relieve the tension a little. "

"I'll...um...feedback on the strategy I guess?"

/Holy fucking shit. Be cool/

"Yeah man. Can come up with a Plan B if not"

Steve turned back to face forwards, putting his hand on Eddie's shoulder. "Thanks for trusting me with this, Eddie. It means a lot."

Eddie swung back too, his thigh pressing against Steve's. "Same."

#steddie #steve harrington #steve x eddie #steddie smut #steve harrington x eddie munson #steves bisexual awakening

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