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#i don't know if it comes from my imagination or my memory :(
satoruluvies · 2 days
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Hii!!!! If ur not taking requests rn feel free to ignore this but could you write something for gojo (preferably hcs) about him with a fem reader who has powers like the scarlet witch from the mcu? And is maybe even a little stronger than him? Idk if you’re familiar with marvel but you can just search up the scarlet witch scenes on youtube and you should see videos just displaying her powers 😭 thank you !!!!!
── the strongest duo .
okay first i think gojo would have known you ever since the both of you were children because how can he not? you were the strongest, along with him. although there were speculations that you would grow to be even more stronger than him and he does not like that at all.
maybe because of that fact, he never really liked you. he was intimidated too but he would never admit that part.
so imagine how happy he was when he found out you were going to the kyoto branch instead of the tokyo one where he's going. he'll finally be free of other people trying to lump the both of you just because you both happened to possess powers far greater than others.
well that didn't last for long with the sister school games coming up. it wasn't surprising either when you were face to face with him out of all people.
but by then, gojo had grown a little. somewhere along the way he got tired of trying to be a weapon of threat, at the beck and call of the corrupted and selfish higher ups who don't know better despite their "experiences" in life.
so this time gojo decides to indulge you and take the time to really know you, instead of looking at you through a vision where he only saw you for your technique. he hadn't realised it but all he knew about you, were the things you were capable of and not actually you.
he was a victim to the very thing he hated so much. so this time, he listens.
you were a bit skeptical about his changed behaviour at first and it took a while to convince you that he really wanted to listen to you and maybe, get to know you more.
gojo realises you were similar to him in more ways than one. from that day, the animosity faded and slowly turned into friendship. no one was on par with both the strongest.
until that one fateful night where gojo came all the way to kyoto, all bloodied and gaze wary. you'd had heard of his fight with toji and that he almost almost died.
you'd never forget the way his voice quivered that night while you held him in your arms.
"maybe if you had been there, everything would have been different. you're stronger than me, maybe you could've saved riko."
you'd never seen gojo this defeated. maybe because he knows that you share the burden of being the strongest along with him, he knows you would understand him out of everyone else.
and you do, thats why even when his best friend left him, he finds comfort in your arms and the soft words from your mouth.
"you can warp people's reality right?" gojo looks up from your arms and you don't like the sentence that would come next.
"can you warp mine? just for a while. only just a little while" his bright blue eyes now shadowed behind his tears, how could you say no?
you wave your hands and slowly gojo sees his best friend and the girl he couldn't save. they were laughing and playing around, life was good. but you weren't there with them.
when you withdraw your technique, gojo realises that despite all the people he lost, he still had you and for him, that was enough. perhaps his reality isn't all that bad.
he hopes you won't leave like the rest of them. this time, he hopes you really become stronger than him just so he wouldn't feel the pain of losing you, even if that made him selfish.
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its the way i had to look at wanda scenes and ask my marvel fan friends for this ahahha i haven't kept up with the mcu ever since endgame this brought back lots of nostalgic memories :')
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slayfics · 2 days
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You send a letter to Kai.
Warnings: NSFW
700 words
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“All right Kai, it’s mail day,” the Tartarus guard grumbled. Kai sat unamused across the table from the guard.
Despite being an inmate, Kai was able to receive letters and did so often. First, the letters had to be opened and inspected for contraband and secret communications. After, they were read to him by his designated guard.
Occasional letters came from those who heard his story in the media and condemned him. Cussing him out for all the things he put Eri through. Then there was the fan mail of those who took an interest in him. Usually, innocent young adults and teens in their rebellious phase that thought it was edgy to write to a villain.
Then, came yours.
Yours was different.
“Uh- this one came with a gift,” the guard shifted uncomfortably. "Warden said you can't keep it but uh- we're obligated to show it to you so here it is," the guard spoke lifting a pair of white lace panties. They hung on the tip of his finger, showcasing the glistening stain that soaked the fabric.
"Alright then, let's get this over with," the guard said tossing the panties on the table, and opening your letter. Kai's pupils dilated as he gazed at the panties, the most erotic sight he'd seen since being locked up.
The guard began to read your letter, the uneasiness clear in his voice.
Kai, Are they taking care of you in there? Your mug shot was released to the public. I've been looking at it every day. Especially at night, when I think of you the most. I've been fucking myself to thoughts of you every night. Your gold eyes are so tempting, I imagine them watching me while my fingers disappear into my eager hole. Legs spread open on display for you. The way my clit still throbs for you keeps me up all night. I don't think it will be enough until I have you again. Did they show you my present? I wanted to show you the proof of what you do to me. Just the thought of you has me making such a mess. I'm practically dripping while writing this. The things I still long to do to you, for you. What's been making me cum fastest is imagining you in my mouth. The way I'd suck you up so clean. Taking you all in till your tip hits the back of my throat. What do you think it feels like? Can you imagine it now? Slick and warm, my tongue doing circles around your tip. I want to hear your soft moans for me. I know how you like it so I promise not to make a mess, only gagging so you can feel me clench around you. Squeezing you till you're at your peak. Do you think I can take it all, till your balls press against my lips? I want you to thrust it in. I want it all. Soaking in my throat till you're shooting hot white ropes for me. Or do you want to cum in my pussy instead? The way you stretched me out last time was sinful. No one has ever been so deep. I could swear you were in my stomach. I’m so wet for you, you could slide right in. I promise to stay nice and tight for you. God the thought of taking your dick again has me whimpering. Begging you for more, I never want it to stop. I want you to use me, abuse me. I can’t take it as long as you can. Do you still think about me too? I don't know how to stop Kai, and I just need to know- Am I still your good girl?
The guard shifts again with an uncomfortable cough, trying to mask his own arousal, but the flush on his face gives him away. "So, any idea who this is?" he asks.
"No," Kai lies. But- of course, he knows exactly who this is. Remembering the feel of your walls stretched against his girthy cock had him squirming in his chair, teeth clenching. He’d commit your letter to memory for the days to come.
Such a naughty girl sending your soiled panties and a raunchy letter to him in prison. You're going to get yourself in trouble he thought. But most of all, yes, yes you are still his good girl.
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sinners: @mintsbubbletea @lalachanya @unofficialmuilover @starieq @that-one-fangirl69 @pinkpurpledreams
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i'm currently trying to write a story with second chance trope. the story is about a friend group since childhood of 2 girls and 4 boys. the female mc and the male mc were developing feelings for each other, then the male mc left the country without telling anyone. after 3 years of no contact, he comes back. naturally, the female mc has a lot of pent up resentment towards him but she still has romantic feelings for him.
so, any tips on writing a second chance romance?
Second Chance Romance
There are five really important keys to writing a good second chance romance:
1 - Create a Sense of What Was - Even if the story starts after that first relationship (or almost relationship) ended, it's important to give the reader a sense of what that relationship was like. What drew them to one another initially? What were their interactions like? What strengthened their bond? You can paint this picture using a combination of flashbacks, memories recalled in exposition, memories recalled in dialogue, having the character look at photos or video, comparing present experiences with past ones, or even through snippets in dreams.
2 - Be Clear About What Went Wrong - The reader can't root for a second chance if they don't understand what went wrong the first time around. Specific to your story, you'll need to address not only why this character suddenly left the country without telling anyone and without contact, but how they rationalized the negative impact it would have on this person they were beginning to develop a relationship with.
3 - Be Clear About What Went Right - Sometimes relationships fail, even if their foundations are good, but that second go round isn't plausible unless there was something worth going back to. So, not only is it important to be clear about what was good about the relationship when you illustrate it in retrospect, you'll also have to show us those things are still there--or have the potential to be.
4 - Illustrate What Changed - The relationship failed for a reason. Whether there was hurt involved, poor timing, wanting different things, or some other obstacle to progress. So, you can't give this couple a plausible shot at a second chance unless you show us how the obstacles were removed or overcome. In the case of your story specifically, not only will you need to address why the character left in the first place, but why they chose to come home, and how they make amends for disappearing without notice or contact.
5 - Rebuild Relationship Upon Old and New - I like to think of it like this: imagine the concrete slab foundation of a house. This is what the couple built together in round one. But when they parted, the foundation was damaged in places (the amount of damage obviously depends on what caused the split.) When they meet up again, the foundation is still there, it's just got the old damaged parts and a lot of erosion from time and weathering. But it's there. So as they work through what went wrong and patch up their friendship, they patch up the damage from their split. Then, as they get to know each other again and the friendship reestablishes itself, the foundation gets cleaned back up and brought back up to pristine. And from there, they can build the walls of their healthy relationship.
Happy writing!
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Uwaa! I'm loving your Dantalian headcanon!
I can see him, Eligos, Paimon and Orias going shopping together? TT-TT) we need the cutiepies of Hell gathered! Nilfheim and Lost Paradise where you at!?
Meanwhile, Dong-gyun from Avisos can be considered a cutiepie but he isn't in their level yet so he holds all their shopping bags;;;
I could see it go something like this
*On their special group chat*
Dantalian: ELIGOOOOOOOS
Dantalian: Dad told me that we have to go to this really important event but all my clothes are fetish outfits :(
Dantalian: The festival has a decency policy!!!! The people at Paradise Lost are insane!
Eligos: I've actually got a brand new collection in partnership with Paimon and Orias
Dantalian: Ok, I know Paimon, but who tf id Orias?
Eligos: He's a beauty guru! He's quite popular on [NOT TRADEMARKED VIDEO SHARING WEBSITE]
Eligos: you should look him up
Dantalian: That's a new one
Dantalian: I don't think I have it yet, let me go whine to my dad about it.
Eligos: Tell His Majesty Asmodeus to pay his taxes!!!
Eligos: Sorry, Bimet stole my phone UnU
Eligos: I'll just add Paimon and Orias here
_Paimon and Orias got added to the group chat_
Dantalian: Orias's a little bitch
Orias: And who might I have the pleasure of being insulted by?
Dantalian: ELIGOS WHY ARE THERE RANDOM PEOPLE IN THE GROUP CHAT!
Paimon: Hiiiiii, your highness Dantaliaaaaaaan
Dantalian: Paimon as well!
Eligos: You should get to know them as well since they all contribute to my newer collections
Orias: Dantalian? Don't you remember me sweetie? We used to hang out when you were younger?
Dantalian: I have never heard of you in my whole life
Orias: :)
Paimon: So, your highnesssss! I heard you're going to your first balllll
Dantalian: It's a sort of very formal festival
Dantalian: And we can't wear my usual attire
Dantalian: To understand how bad it is, my dad took out the 17th century suit ToT
Dantalian: Imagine being alive during the 17th century
Orias: ...
Paimon: What colour would you like the costume to beeeee?
Dantalian: Red, duh
Orias: I have the red costume at my place. It needed a bit of sewing and adding some extra ditails
Dantalian: Eligos, why could you take care of it?
Eligos: I've used all of the angel feathers in Tartaros for a new dress for MC.
Orias: And I have plentiful
Paimon: And Orias stole iiiiit
Orias: You're so funny Paimon.
Orias: Little ol me, going around stealing? Never
Dantalian: Wait, arent you the guy that tried to kill Leviathan!?
Orias: I have no idea what you're talking about
Dantalian: And everyone in Hades haaaaaates you. They would sometimes complain to me whenever you arrived back in the country
Orias: Your memory must be quite faulty. Everyone in Hades loves me
Dantalian: Except 99% of the population
Orias: You're so lucky you're part of the monarchy
Dantalian: Why? Come kill me right now, dipshit. What, are you too scared? Give me all you got
Orias: Now you're just asking for it
Dantalian: Orias don't you fucking there show up or I'm snitching you - King Asmodeus
Dantalian: Please sent the suit at the adress of the castle of Abaddon and make sure it is in pristine condition. Eligos, I already sent the money for it. Please stop contacting my son, he's grounded. - King Asmodeus
*This chat was terminated*
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hermitw · 2 days
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My JJK theories & opinions part 2! (I'm sure more are scattered across this blog but whatever)
-all that it took for Yuuji to come back when Sukuna took over (at the detention center) was for Megumi to talk to him. Yuuji was stressed, in pain and alone. When he stopped fronting, he dissociated and wasn't watching for his time to come back. Fushiguro calling to him made Yuuji feel safe enough to come back. I'm not sure if this would work on anyone else Sukuna possesses, as Yuuji is a perfect vessel. but we see the same thing happen when Gojo calls to Geto, even if it is only muscle memory and his soul is not there.
-Gojo didn't suggest at all that Yuuji might have a cursed technique (it is weird that he didn't see curses before, but also weird that they didn't look into his ancestry) bc to let Yuuji hear that would be to let Sukuna know and combine that with his own techniques. BUT ALSO Yuuji jumping through the 4th floor window, before eating the fingie?? Gojo & Fushiguro might have known about his mother's.
-Haibara and Yu are related. Brothers or cousins or something idk! They have different last names but I always thought this and I cannot stop myself from believing it. Also bc Nanami worked closely with both of them. I feel like it's his way of redeeming himself, or he feels responsible for Ino because he knew Haibara.
× Geto could have come back even after Kenjaku stole his body!! If sukuna could replace yuuji's heart, then someone could replace Geto's brain, even if it is Yuta or Sukuna. Geto could STILL come back..... If Yuta removed the brain. We know bodies that have been obliterated can come back to life with Kenjaku's technique, enough to CARRY A FULL HEALTHY PREGNANCY.
-Gojo AND YUTA killed the higher ups. We thought it was Yuta bc of the Katana slash. Yuta was JUST telling Gojo to stop being the monster by himself. And Gojo's techniques don't leave slashes - they could look like Inumaki or Rika's (so I didn't suspect Gojo before, and I'm still wondering what yuta was talking about when he told inumaki that he had a job for him). So idk who among them is responsible, but it's at least Yuta.
-kenjaku killed megumi's mother. He could not let the ten shadows user have a good childhood. Also why did tsumiki's mother disappear?? Sus.
-I like to imagine that Hiromi Higuruma is fine. I think he's still alive but!! If he has passed on then he can become like an afterlife judge and send people back or not let them haunt.
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sysig · 3 months
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Lost my mind thinking about the Vyer Estate (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#Max Vyer#Dexter Favin#So while I'm not usually one to draw backgrounds I am actually Really into architecture and a little into decor and room design haha#Do I know much more than the basics? Nope! But I'm still fascinated by it :)#Some of these rooms have a very strong image in my head and some are fuzzier - it's been a bit since I reread#And I also haven't read with the layout in mind I don't think so there's that as well haha#I'll also freely admit to being very influenced by The Sims 2's build limitations when working these lol - spacing and density of items#Trying to map all these pieces of scenes into a continuous singular building is difficult! There are windows that butt up into other rooms!#It's a fun exercise tho :3#Update: I have now reread with the layout in mind lol#My mental ears pricked every time there was a mention of furniture or layout lol#Like Max's couch! And a carpet in the foyer >:3c#And Dex's room also being upstairs :0 To think I almost made my first floorplan a single-story!#Silly me#I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've doodled Max's mom also :0 From memory - again - oops lol#I have always imagined that final scene with her as having this large-room/small in the frame kind of energy to it#All natural lighting and kind of dim and hazy - coming down from the high vibes#Actually pinning down a back wall is a whole other thing lol - sometimes the stairs are right there and sometimes they're in an alcove#It's always those tricky windows! And then actually populating a mansion with rooms that are useful lol#Dexter mentions that Max could've asked the cook but Max says he's asleep - how many people live on-site I wonder!#I'm also deeply enamoured with Max padding around in the middle of the night - a house he grew up in and feels safe wandering around in <3#In his element ♥ Comfortable ♪♫
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nebulouscoffee · 6 months
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Me, attending the latest in a ridiculous number of funerals this year in the place of a childhood friend who couldn't be there, watching the lifeless body of an old lady who used to make me snacks in the kitchen when I was a kid be carted away forever while my friend's mother cries and tells me she's grateful I could be there because it felt like having the support of her own daughter, hugging her and talking reassuringly and not processing a single one of these emotions: ... I am going to write soooo much fanfiction about this
#''this'' being collective grief. because tbvh it's the main reason I haven't written very much this year (but will slowly start to)#I write to remind myself I am lucky. I keep telling myself this but even now when I feel awful I am so lucky#I am lucky that none of these funerals have involved very close family members or friends of mine#and I am lucky to be living in conditions with the space to write and space to grieve#and space to come together to mourn with dignity while people not that far away from me are not receiving the same privilege rn#I am lucky my dad was with me today and I spent the evening chatting with him on the terrace I am lucky he is alive I am lucky I am lucky#(apologies if this sounds like a robot malfunctioning lmao writing is just how I process things)#(and apparently I just don't seem to feel like I have the right to feel bad about any of this anywhere except my st@r trek blog hehe)#anyway. To stay on theme I shall say something about Trills :D#I imagine loss and grief must register very differently to them. very Non Linearly in the literal sense but also a highly abstract one#even I feel this massive sense of time warp between all these funerals; and this chest-crushing distance between me and my friends#how do Trills even exist#how do they wake up every day remembering all those friends and children and parents who loved them and they loved and are gone now#and still function#how does Ezri feel walking around with memories of parents that aren't hers (but were soooo much better than hers) taking care of her#does she feel comforted by them? does it feel like the people in those memories were always comforting HER specifically?#does it even matter who it belonged to originally if a memory is HERS now?#does Ezri mourn for any parents of past hosts more than she knows she will mourn for her own mother one day?#does having all this lived experience bring her reassuring amounts of perspective for a 20-something or just overwhelm her all the more?#idk; but I hope she learns to take comfort in her past hosts' memories of family eventually...#(...again. I am going to write sooooo much fan fiction about this lmao)#cw death
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dbphantom · 11 days
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you know if you guys voted for stretch armstrong i probably would have shut up a lot sooner tonight
#so really this is all your fault /lh /j#i love thinking about h2o tho so im happy#VERY FUCKING TIRED THO WISH I COULD SLEEP#i think my brain is kicking into overdrive after being filled with cotton the past 3 days which. hey im glad ur back bud#CAN YOU SHUT UP NOW I NEED REST#i was just thinking because im probably not posting that essay i will summarize here (i saw#that privating it made it lose like 4 recently edited paragraphs and i don't want to type all that out again my memory isn't good enough)#it just boiled down to the pods basically making a self fulfilling prophecy by orphaning their sons and making them increasingly#desperate for connections to other people like them which is why i think erik behaves the way he does esp when ondina is around#like i am not excusing his actions in the slightest dont get me wrong here he really fucked up BUT#his last conversation with ondina before he goes to the chamber kind of sold that idea to me#how he scoffs at her saying rita says it's dangerous because she's 'old school' and of COURSE old school mermaids think all mermen are evil#and then starts adding on how he wants to do this for HER and get her home back for her by controlling it#like a bit of an add-on at the end to try and convince her#i think what he really wants is to be hailed as a hero. you know. validation and acceptance from the ppl who originally abandoned him#the OGs who made him feel like an outsider. the ppl who ripped everything away from him just bc of the way he was born (which is prob why#when he's trying to convince zac to help him he keeps bringing up their ancestors bc that's what unifies them)#i don't think he's an evil dude per se i think he thought stealing the trident stone from rita's grotto would be small peanuts in the past#once he finally got the pod to come home bc he genuinely (mistakenly) believed he COULD control the power of the chamber#i also think that's why the camera keeps focusing on his face when he's watching the others panic over#zac's sacrifice and i think he is feeling jealousy bc they are paying attention to him and not Erik#like that's not the face of someone who deeply regrets what they just did. my guy is just sitting there like 'that should be me rn'#i think that is why he also sounds so desperate to make things right with ondina afterwards. iirc he's just like 'wait no we can start ove#RIGHT?' and she's like 'uhhhh... no??????' (valid). my dude is lonely as fuck and he finally found a group of ppl like him and he messed up#big time just trying to get their attention and affection bc he couldn't just be normal abt it he had to go big or go home#like i kind of feel bad for him in a way#but i feel bad for everyone#i felt bad for denman the other day! that's how bad this is getting!!#i mean come on imagine making the scientific discovery of a LIFETIME only for all that shit to happen in a row#especially after you get your comeback. they just go right back to fucking you over again
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ereborne · 16 days
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Song of the Day: May 14
"Diamond on a Landmine” by Billy Talent
#song of the day#buckle up babes this one's a nice showcase of how my brain retains memories which is to say it's a long path to a close destination#in early 2011 when Leverage's season three had recently wrapped#one of my friends was writing a character study piece for Eliot with a partial focus on his toxic relationship with Damien Moreau#and they made a writing playlist for the fic that included this song#(and also 'Laughing with a Mouth of Blood' by St Vincent. absolutely killer song)#and I like the song but for whatever reason I never looked up anything else by Billy Talent#(I was at the time not spending so much time looking up new music but more just letting it come to me#in 2017 St Vincent came out with 'Los Ageless' and I was like oh I know her!! and I started paying attention to her albums#which is good because then in 2021 she released the Daddy's Home album which has 'Pay Your Way in Pain' /and/ 'The Melting of the Sun'#which are absolutely incredible tracks and my life would've been less without them)#and then today I saw a Call of Duty post with lyrics from Billy Talent's 'Afraid of Heights'#and I didn't recognize the lyrics so I went and pulled up the song as how I do#and as it played I was like. do I know this? no. I know something like this. what is it?#and at first I was convinced I'd just been listening to it but then why couldn't I place it? and then I realized I hadn't heard it recently#but I had been /thinking/ about something /related/ to it--which I had been. sort of. there's a Damien Moreau post queued for tomorrow--#and then in Afraid of Heights the chorus was wrapping up#'you're the only one I'd follow til the end of time / if we fall we fall together baby don't think twice again'#and something clicked and I dragged 'Diamond on a Landmine' up out of the depths of my various-artists folder#it's a great song got an excellent build to it#'alone at last / I can't wait til we're alone at last / all I wanted was a second chance / a second chance / to hold you in my arms at last#and the visual of 'better watch your step / she's a diamond on a landmine' is fantastic#anyway! I made giant scotch eggs with my family's spicy sausage ball mix instead of the normal breading and they're amazing#a good day#two weeks into May already can you imagine
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apollo-cackling · 1 year
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one of my pet peeves with some newer piano pieces is when they're literally just a melody on the right hand and some broken chords on the left. like no that's not what the piano is good at! on a singular melody level basically any orchestral instrument is better than the piano with expressiveness**. what makes piano good is its density of notes. spread that melody over multiple octaves! create some arpeggiated pattern where the lowest notes form the melody*! do something fugal! I'm pretentious yea but it feels like watching a bunch of people trying to use a wrench as a screwdriver
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pretendthisisaname · 1 month
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I hate my brain so much
It's all like, "hey buddy, you know what would be fun? Having realistic dreams that are so normal you can't tell them apart from reality! And I'll keep giving them to you until you start questioning every little thing :) did you actually see that person you haven't seen in years? Who knows! You probably just made it up."
"Oh! And I'll start blindsiding you with feelings you haven't felt in years and I won't tell you what place or point in your life they're associated with."
"And and and I'll give you these moments where everything decides to make absolutely no sense. Have fun not knowing what's going on!"
In other words, my childhood fear of having memory issues has come back with a vengeance and I am very, very annoyed
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bohemiandeer · 3 months
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You know what hits me hard? When 5 to 6 year old children, all the way in Southeast Asia, knows about what's happening in Palestine right now. That children their age is getting bombed, that they're starving to death, that they're getting shot at, and sniped in the head. Because, just this past 2 or so months, I heard some of the little ones in the Kindergarten classes I'm TAing in as an Intern talk about it. Hell, one of the little boys downright said he didn't like Israel, because Israel is bad, because they do scary things. Another was questioning whether Palestine was bad too, because, "why else would they shooting at them?". A little girl in one of my classes doesn't want to finish her food at all, because she wants to save at least half her meat and rice for kids in Palestine, because she heard that, they don't have food. And that's just the ones I remember. Namely the inciting cases before their classmates slowly follow suit. The littles are fricking SCARED. We had to sit these kids down, and tell them that the topic is too mature for them at the moment, that they shouldn't even be concerned because they're KINDERGARTNERS, they're not even old enough to properly understand. The one teacher I was TAing for had to make a class announcement saying that. What gets me is, these are 5 to 6 year olds, the youngest I've worked with in this specific age group is 4. 5 years old on average, and they've already been exposed to the worst horrors genocide has to offer through the news and snippets of conversation among adults and hell, considering how many of them say they like to play games on Mama's phone, or their IPad, even from fricking social media. And the fact that, these literal babies, from all the way in Cambodia, has more empathy in their entire body and soul, than full grown fricking adults have in the nail of their pinky finger, gets me. FFS we as adults could LEARN from them I feel sometimes. I honestly don't know what to feel about it anymore. On the one hand, this is the next generation I'm working with. And if the next generation's default response to a tragedy such as Palestine, is what I've seen come up on occasion so far? Perhaps there's some bloody hope for this world after all. At least in this country. Especially since a majority of them already come from families who survived a genocide. These are the 3rd - 4th generation descendants of those who survived the Khmer Rouge. They've got grandparents at home, who no doubt are more than intimately familiar with what Palestine is going through right now. And it shows.
But on the other, it makes my heart sink because these are CHILDREN, these are LITTLE KIDS, they should be playing with their toys and watching cartoons and talking to their friends about everything from Spiderman to Speakerman to Kuromi and her friends, and be worried about whether or not they can go to playground that day, guranteed they're well behaved, or if Mama remembered to pack in their costume for swimming lessons that week. NOT JUST MY KIDS. But the little ones in Palestine too. They deserve better. They all deserve, so much better. Hell, it's come to the point that whenever I look at my kiddos right now, whether they'd be working in class, playing, doing something as mundane as eating lunch or getting ready for their nap. I think of the children their age in Palestine that didn't even get the chance to survive. I think of the ones whose memories from this age, is nothing but absolute horror and pain, rather than what has slowly become my normal, who never got to experience what my littles do on a daily basis right now.
Children shouldn't even be concerned about "War", about a Genocide. The last thing that should be on a 5 year old's mind, is pain, and suffering, and the worst horrors imaginable ever to be inflicted on a human being. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S INFLICTED, ON OTHER CHILDREN THEIR AGE. And for that alone, the world has failed them. Especially the kids in Palestine who didn't ask for any of this. They just wanted to carry on with life as kids do, the same way as my littles do on a daily basis no doubt, learning, playing, chatting with friends over their favourite cartoons and characters, worrying about whether they'd get to go to the playground or not that day.
I apologize for talking about this on this blog. I know my blog tends to be lighter in feel, a lot more unhinged and light hearted typically. I mean, I'm just a fricking nerd who likes to draw and write, and lurk about her favourite fandoms to consume and support what is shared among other nerds who also like to draw and write. But I couldn't stop thinking about it. About contemplating it, especially since I'll be back on a roll tomorrow, working with my kiddos again after not seeing them for 5 days straight because of Holidays. And, I just had to talk about it. This is something I felt I couldn't keep to myself this time, I don't think my soul'd be able to carry it. I had to talk about it.
FREE PALESTINE. Our children deserve better.
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kasagia · 5 months
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Losing your memory
Pairing: Young! Coriolanus Snow x fem!Capitol! reader Summary: He used to be your Coryo. Now he has become the man you don't know. The Plinth heir. The future president of Panem. You pray every day to forget about the sweet boy you fell in love with, on whom you could always count. To forget who he was and lose the memory of the past. Just like he did. Well... not exactly. Unfortunately for you, he still wants to remember you. Inspired by: "Losing your memory" by Ryan Star Word count: 7,2 k ~•♤♤♤•~ Coriolanus Snow's Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~ Main Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~
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You've been avoiding him ever since you found out he was back in the Capitol.
A month ago, this news would have aroused great joy and ecstasy in you. Your Coryo is back home. He managed to shorten his exile and gain Dr. Gaul's favour again.
But the man who returned from District 12 was not your dear friend or lover. This wasn't your sweet Coryo, with whom you walked hand in hand to school. This wasn't the boy you shared your lunch with. This wasn't a boy who cared about your well-being above his own. This wasn't a boy who joked about snobbish children spoiled by the richest people in Panem with you and Sejanus at the end of the day. (Although he talked with them, trying to keep up good appearances—he used to call that one of the responsibilities of being Snow.)
The man who came back was Coriolanus. The new Plinth heir. The shell of someone you knew. The ruthless, cold pet of the mad creator of the Hunger Games you despised.
Sejanus' death didn't hurt you as much as the transformation of Coriolanus from the person closest to you into someone you barely even recognized. And from the tearful, sad, resentful, and disappointed stories you heard from Tigris, you had an accurate picture of the man who took your Coryo's place.
And you hated him with all your heart.
Especially after what he promised you when you stayed at his apartment for one snowy winter night.
You lay wrapped in the various blankets and quilts Coryo and Tigris could find. It was winter, and they didn't have much money for additional heating, so they mostly walked around the house in several layers and slept under piles of clothes.
You didn't know about that that night.
Tigris lent him her quilt so that he wouldn't have to be ashamed of the poverty his family had fallen into since you were supposed to come to sleepover with him after the argument with your parents.
Cuddling up to your blonde boy, you tried to fall asleep, listening to his heartbeat. You frowned at the sound of it being a little faster than usual.
You lift your head and look at him carefully. His gaze is distant and thoughtful as he lazily draws patterns on your back as he presses you against his chest.
"Coryo?" you whisper, cupping his cheek in your hand tenderly and forcing those blue irises you have loved so much to look at you. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"
He sighs long and presses a kiss on your forehead, the tip of his nose stroking your hair, as he is inhaling your scent. "I just... I just think about the fact that you deserve so much more. My grandma and Tigirs deserve much more than... this." he says with disgusting pointing at the room you were in.
"This..." you say, clasping your hands together and pressing a tender kiss to the back of his hand. "Is more than enough. You are all I need. And one day, when you are President of Panem or any other important figure in the Capitol, none of you will lack anything. This is a temporary state. You are too smart to be anything less than great, Coryo. You know it."
You see him hold back tears. He pushed your head onto his chest to rest his chin on your head. He is not crying. He almost never cries. But you know how close he is to it by the slight quiver in his breathing.
"I know I don't show it often enough... but you mean... everything to me. I can't imagine how I would go through these all without you by my side."
"I love you, Corio. Just promise me you won't forget this. What you went through, what you experienced. Don't forget your struggle. That's something you should never be ashamed of." he tenses at your words but leans in to kiss you passionately and hungrily. Putting all his unexpressed emotions into action and into that kiss that warmed you more than any blanket or radiator could ever.
"I promise. I will never forget how you kept me sane. When you were the only shelter I could go to and the only support that could bear the boundlessness of my troubles and doubts. How you were my only moonlight in the worst of my darknesses." you laugh softly, recognising part of his words.
"Quoting poets will get you nowhere, Coriolanus Snow." you say teasingly, rubbing your nose against him, at which he chuckles, licking his lips.
"Well... I've learned that in some situations, it gets me somewhere. And it's a very cold night tonight, don't you think? I can't let you freeze to death." he says as his hands go under your shirt—actually, his shirt that you stole from his closet.
"Well… I guess there's nothing left for me… but to place myself under your solicitous care." you sigh softly as he pins you underneath him, making sure the cocoon of blankets is still tightly wrapped around the two of you.
"I couldn't have said it better." he whispers and presses his lips against yours, stealing your breath countless times. He pulls away just a little to say against your lips, "You're mine. We belong together. No matter what."
He makes you shiver as you eagerly agree to everything he says. You don't realise how, in the future, you will curse every single intimate, sweet moment you shared with him.
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Ironically, you realise how deep he has gotten under your skin the moment he returns to the Capitol, and you have to avoid him, not when he is sent into exile.
It was probably because when he was gone, you were too distraught to bother leaving your room, opening the blinds, or wiping the tears that somehow kept leaking from your eyes to notice how almost every place reminded you of him. If you could, you'd go back in time and tell yourself there's no point in crying over the asshole he's become.
Although maybe you already felt that your Corio was leaving, and it was a way of mourning him?
Anyway, you saw him everywhere. Not Coriolanus. Coryo. He stalked you in the library, the park, the cafe near the academy that you two and Sejanus liked to go to, and of course the Academy itself. Kudos to your parents for not letting him into your house. At least he didn't pollute your room with memories of him.
Involuntarily, you wonder if he also sees you, for example, in every corner of his apartment. Or maybe he renovated it beyond recognition to erase all traces of his past?
You didn't know.
And you didn't want to know.
The information about him that Tigris gave you when you met her at your house when Coriolanus was at the university for classes was sufficient.
Just because it didn't work out with her cousin didn't mean you would abandon your only real friend. And just because things didn't work out with her cousin didn't mean she would stop (more or less subtly) encouraging you to go back to him.
"We talked about you." she says, making adjustments to your dress that she made for your birthday party thrown by your parents. Another one of the unpleasant responsibilities.
"You and your grandma?" you ask, trying to avoid HIM as a topic as much as possible.
"No. Me and Coriolanus." she says, pinning something to your waist—some decorative strip of fabric or something—you're not sure; you're too focused on the window and the bustling city as you are trying to ignore her words. "You know… I think… I think I saw in his eyes… the old Coryo. For a brief moment, but… maybe if you came back to him, he would come back to himself too."
"I'm sorry, Tigris, but I think he went too far on his path to simply go back to who he was. Surely not because of me."
"I understand… I just really miss him." she says it in a soft, broken tone, and your heart breaks at it. You hug her with all your strength, uniting with her pain that you also felt so deeply.
"Me too." you whisper in her ear as she cries into your shoulder.
Tigris was a very strong woman. She always impressed you. You wanted to be as strong as her. But even the toughest had to cry sometimes.
After all, there comes a time when even the snow melts... even if only for a little while.
You held him tightly in your arms as Corio cried into your chest.
His grandmother fell ill. Hard. Without a doctor, she definitely wouldn't be able to get out of this on her own, and they didn't have the money to pay for one, let alone the medicines.
Your boyfriend spent the whole day planning, thinking, and getting any money, but it was not enough even to buy the cheapest antibiotic.
However, you didn't expect that after you found out it all from Tigris and ran to him as fast as you could with the chicken soup prepared by your servants and all your pocket money, he would start crying.
Coriolanus Snow cried like a little baby.
You handed the money and soup to Tigris, who, after feeding up their grandma, quickly ran out with her to the doctor. At that time, you were holding your boyfriend in your arms in the other room, who simply fell apart from his helplessness.
"Shh… it's going to be okay, Coryo. She will live, falsify that stupid hymn and hate me for not being enough for you just as she used to." your attempt to comfort him didn't help. If anything, he only cried more, holding onto you tighter and tighter.
"I should be able to take care of them... I should be the one taking care of you, not the other way around. I'm pathetic and weak. I'm not worthy of being called Snow."
"Hey, my sweet boy, look at me. You are strong. You are the strongest man I know. You are looking after me all the time; you literally give me everything you have, the last piece of your food, to keep me happy, safe, and full when I forget to bring a damn second breakfast from home or don't have time to eat something. You love me, and I love you, and that's how it works. We care about each other. And I have never, ever regretted being with you. Because what we have… is more valuable than anything else in this world. I trust you implicitly, and I will always be by your side. You are not alone with your problems and suffering. Not as long as I am here."
"But for how long will you stay? For how long will you endure with me?" he asks, and after one look at those a little red from crying, beautiful blue iris, you answer without a shadow of hesitation.
"As long as you love me and I can trust you. As long as I breathe. As long as I am in your mind and heart. I am not going anywhere, Coryo. Money can be earned, but what we have... you can't buy it. What I feel for you is more dear to me than any treasure in this world and I will never exchange it for anything else." you promise, stroking his hair tenderly to help him calm down.
You should've then wondered why he doesn't agree with you then. Why doesn't he say that he also feels this way and that he also values you more than money, glory, and honours?
But he blinds you by telling you for the first time that he loves you.
And you cling to him, wiping the tears from his face with your lips and foolishly believing that your love is pure and eternal.
Like a driven snow.
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You knew this day would come someday. The day you let your guard down. But you hoped it would take a little longer before you came face-to-face with Coriolanus.
You are completely unprepared for this. You just freeze like a deer in headlights when you see his face at the end of one of the university's corridors as he walks forward, looking for something in his bag. Before you can even think about running away, he looks up, probably feeling watched, and his blue, icy eyes meet yours.
You both stand there transfixed, looking at each other, taking in the changes in your appearance since the last time you saw each other, which was after you broke up with him, when you saw how tenderly he treated Lucy Gray and how comfortable he was around her. And after someone politely informed you that he had kissed her.
"Y/N!" Coriolanus calls out to you and takes a step towards you, but you quickly step back and run through the crowd of people to get away from him. Unfortunately for you, he doesn't give up that easily. He never does. "Y/N! Wait!"
You have no intention of doing so. You run as fast as you can, bumping into several students along the way. You don't even bother apologising; you just run, hoping that Snow will stop being hot on your heels. Which, by the way, was a miserable dream after how fit he was after his training and the time he spent as a peacekeeper.
On the way, you notice a woman's bathroom and immediately run into it. You lock yourself in a cabin, thanking God or whoever is up that you managed to get an empty cabin and hide in it. You hear his quick footsteps and the door opening, followed by the screams of other women in the bathroom. You sigh in relief as you hear him obediently leave the room.
You're not leaving, though. You are not stupid. You know he's waiting at the door for you to come out. You decide to wait here until the end of the break between classes and hope that he will drop the idea of continuing to chase you and talk to you, and he will attend the lecture instead.
As the bathroom begins to empty, you realise that the next lectures must be soon. You stand silently on the toilet seat, listening carefully, waiting for the right moment to emerge from your miserable hiding place.
Just as you are about to reach for the doorknob, the bathroom door opens. You shiver as you hear heavy footsteps echoing off the tiles of the empty bathroom. And you think that you can smell the subtle scent of roses in the air.
"Come on, Y/N. I know you're here. I just want to talk."
Said the snake moments before eating the bird alive.—you think, mentally mocking how gentle he was trying to present himself. As if he could still be your Coryo.
"I have time. I can play hide-and-seek with you, if you want to. After all, you always liked to play this when we were kids. And you always lost."
You roll your eyes, listening carefully to his footsteps. He was opening the first cabin. You were in the middle one—the one a little closer to the door (and him).
"We'll have to talk eventually. You can't avoid me and ignore me, no matter how good you are at it lately. Let's stop this ridiculous, childish behaviour and go talk over coffee and some of your favourite cookies at the cafe near the academy. Just like the good old days. Well, this time all your orders are on me. What do you say?"
You would have snorted if it hadn't immediately revealed your hiding place to him. How dare he invite you to the place where you, he, and Sejanus spent the most time? To the place where your first unofficial date was.
He wanted to manipulate you, to make you believe that your Corio is still there and lives behind the façade of the rich, arrogant asshole he has become. But you knew better. His eyes told you everything you needed to know.
Even without Tigris' help, you realised that he... was a completely different person. He turned into somebody you only used to know in the past.
"Seriously? Still nothing? So you prefer the hard way, then..." he says, opening another cabin. You wait patiently for him to come to yours.
You breathe as quietly as you can, trying not to let him know which cabin you're in. You listen to his slow, measured steps as, with the incredible confidence and calm that is typical of him, he opens each cabin door, moving inexorably towards you.
Your heart quickens, beating madly, when you see his shoes in the whole, under the cabin's door. He reaches for the door handle, and before he can open it, you push the door against him with all your strength.
You hear him curse, taking a few steps back in a daze and holding his nose. You take the opportunity and run to the exit of the bathroom as fast as you can, not looking back.
"Fuck! Y/N! Are you insane?!" he shouts, running after you.
You reach the door just in time and slam it behind you, sprinting out of the university. You get in your car and drive away with your tyres screeching. In the rearview mirror, you see him leaving the building and following your car with a furious glare.
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"I can't believe you invited Snow." you huff, fixing your makeup in the mirror. Your father is buttoning his cuffs, and your mother stands next to you, also putting the finishing touches on her appearance. "You hated him when we were together."
"He is an ambitious and clever boy. Plinth did well to make him his heir. You should reconsider whether he really is that bad. This match would have opened many doors for us. Not only among Plinth's allies but also among Dr. Gaul. God knows how she favours this boy. Who knows? Maybe one day he will be president of Panem."
"If so, I will run away abroad." you say it bitterly, putting your lipstick back in your purse and adjusting the necklace around your neck to make yourself look perfect.
"Don't be stupid. Snow wouldn't be so bad for you. Since you are our only child, we must marry you well. Make sure your husband doesn't blow our fortune in a week. And Snow is a thoughtful boy. He wouldn't let you live below the poverty line."
"And he's quite handsome." your mother adds, straightening your father's tie. "Still, he's not a womaniser. I heard he turned down the... special attention of Crane's daughter and a few other Capitol's girls. I guess he's been alone since your breakup."
"Hmm. Great. He wouldn't cheat on me with other snobs in the capital, but he would fuck with whores in the district. The perfect candidate for a husband." you scoff, walking with them to the next room, where the photographers were waiting to take a photo of you together.
“Language, Y/N. You are a lady. Besides, it is not certain whether he and this Lucy Gray actually had something between them. After all, she's a woman from the district.” your mom says this, smiling for the cameras.
The flashes blind you a little, but with your father's and mother's hands on your shoulders, you somehow manage to keep your pose, fake, pretty smile, and opened eyes.
Your father thanks them and leads you out of the room and into the corridor leading to the great hall where the ball was to be held.
"And even if he did, it's good that he had some fun. It will make him appreciate the treasure that you are and see that you are irreplaceable." he says, taking the box out of his pocket. He hands it to you with a warm smile. "Happy birthday, my treasure."
"We've already given her..." your father shushes your mother. You send them a confused look as you open the medium-sized box.
You find a tiara there. A small diamond tiara.
"It will match your dress perfectly." your father says proudly. You nod and walk to the mirror to put it on, despising the object in your hands with all your heart. You may look like a princess, but you've never felt so... disgusted with yourself before.
This feeling intensified even more when, after a toast and receiving wishes from several of your friends and more powerful families, you managed to sneak out to the balcony. Not long after you, all the single, young men of the richest family on the Capitol entered, with Coriolanus among them. They each took a cigarette and started smoking, gossiping about the events of the week…
And their topic of conversation was exactly what you were afraid of when you got that fucking tiara.
"Have you seen this? I bet they're pure diamonds. Old Y/L/N wants to marry her off so much that he's using every trick possible."
"He doesn't need to do much. She is beautiful in her own right. But this character… it's easier to train a dog than such a stubborn cow."
"What Snow? Are you now regretting that the Capitol's Diamond slipped from your hands? I heard she wants nothing to do with you. How unfortunate that it happened at the moment when you started to count in the eyes of the elite, and now you really have any chance of grabbing this precious gem for yourself."
The Capitol's Diamond. You shudder, thinking about the nickname you've been given.
That's what they called you. The sole heiress to your parents' fortune. Diamond of the Capitol, the best match in the city, with a dowry greater than any other woman. Anyone who won your hand was guaranteed to reach the top and success with your family's connections, your charm, beauty, and brain. And these vultures knew it perfectly well.
You were curious how the new Coriolanus would react.
Your Coryo only took advantage of your position in society when he had to. He didn't ask you for money or for you to convince your father to whisper a good word about him here and there. Maybe it was because of his pride; maybe he really didn't care. You have no idea. But Coryo despised that term as much as you did. You wondered if that had changed as well.
"I'm still in the game." he replies evasively, sipping his drink. The others laugh and he frowns in displeasure.
"Sure. Because the way she ran away from you today when you approached her with a gift says exactly that." they mock him. You see him clench his jaw, glaring at them coldly as he considers his next move.
"Enjoy it while you can. Your good mood will end when our cat-and-mouse game is over and the Capitol's Diamond hangs proudly on my shoulder." you huff, shaking your head in disbelief. You come out of hiding, and all the men on the balcony tense up and look at you in surprise.
Especially Coriolanus. Suddenly everyone is staring intently at the garden of your estate, too shy to look at you. Except Snow. He drills a hole into you with his gaze as he thinks of a way to undo what he said.
"Gentlemen." you scoff, walking past them and ignoring Coriolanus' glare. "For your information, I would rather live in one of the districts than marry any of you. Enjoy the party." you add sweetly, walking back to the ballroom.
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The party is in full swing. You are talking to Thomas, using a sweet boy in a shameful way—to scare other men away from you. Just as you expected, they started flocking to you like flies to a fire.
So you chose the least spoiled of them. Thomas was nice and funny; you had a good time talking to him, and dancing with him was even better.
He wasn't rich; he wasn't part of the cream of society. You were really starting to enjoy spending time with him. And most importantly... he looked nothing like Coriolanus. He was nice for the eyes, but his dark hair, eyes, and sweet, shy personality made him drastically different from your ex. So he was the perfect break from your dramatic love life. Boring, nice change.
You danced to a waltz with him. He held you gently, close but respectful, not invading your personal space. He was a perfect gentleman. The man of your dreams.
If only Coriolanus' icy eyes weren't focused on both of you like a predator waiting for its prey to stumble, you would be able to enjoy Thomas' company to the fullest.
You are with him at the buffet, sipping drinks, when suddenly the last person you expected to meet here approaches you.
"Mrs. Plinth." you whisper in shock as he stands in front of you.
She looks—probably the way she feels. Nice on the outside and devastated on the inside. The dark circles under her eyes cannot be fully covered by makeup, and the deep black of her dress is a clear reminder of what she is still going through.
You can't imagine the pain he's going through right now. And you wonder why the woman decided to join her husband for your birthday party. Since Sejanus' death, she has rarely left their apartment.
"Y/N. Can I steal you from this young man for a moment?"
"Of course." you say, not even looking in Thomas' direction as you and Mrs. Plinth walk to one of the empty living rooms in your mansion. You close the door behind her and point to the couch. "Can I get you something to drink? Or to eat?"
"No. There is no need, darling. I just… I just came here to give you something." she says, pulling a thick letter out of her purse. "I… the letters from Sejanus are still reaching us. The flow of information between the districts and the Capitol is… very heavy and long. Especially when the peacekeepers are now checking every one of his correspondence. He sent it to you. Or rather, he wanted you to send it to him. Or rather, he wanted you to have it, just in case he couldn't… I'm sorry."
Your heart aches with sadness, seeing her on the verge of tears. She probably has no one to talk to about her son except her husband. After all, Sejanus was a traitor of Panem…
"He was a wonderful friend. The best one somebody could have. I could always count on him. Thank you for... taking the trouble to give me a letter from him. That... means a lot." you say, fighting the urge to hug the woman. The Capitol is not famous for acts of tenderness, mercy, or compassion. You had to keep up a facade. Always.
You take the letter from her and walk her to the exit. You give her one sympathetic look—everything you could afford in your position—and close the door behind her.
You sit on the couch and open the letter with trembling hands, trying not to look too closely at the way he wrote your name on the envelope. You know that will remind you of how you taught him how to decorate letters in his first days at the Capitol. Because everything here had to be perfectly beautiful. Even the fucking handwriting.
A bracelet falls out of the envelope and onto your lap. It is not particularly beautiful or sumptuous. It is a simple strap holding a peg-shaped pendant with some black, crushed stone placed behind a piece of glass.
You place it on the coffee table and open the letter with trembling hands. You already feel that after all this you will have to fix your makeup, which you will probably ruin with tears, but Sej's letter cannot wait until the end of the party.
Y/N, If you are somehow reading this letter, it means that I am not at your 20th birthday party, which makes me very sad. (You know how I love celebrating in your garden away from these Capitol's snobs.) Coming back, you know that I wish you all the best (along with Coryo. He's too big of a stick up his ass to write to you, even though he misses you and can't stop thinking about you. Take pity on me and write to this stubborn idiot, because I don't think I can stand another tirade about you and your perfection. Seriously. Our boy is getting mad because of this despair. I don't recognise him at all.) So, my dear friend, I wish you the best. I don't have any trinkets, interesting books, sweets, or anything suitable as a gift here, so I hope you'll be satisfied with what I came up with. I am not a poet, so don't laugh at me. I shall hear... or not. I made the bracelet, which you've probably already seen, myself. And that stone that is inside (and I hope it survived) is coal. I wanted to give this to you as a symbol of who you are to me. Everyone sees you as a diamond, something precious and beautiful. But for me and probably other people close to you, you are something more. This shiny diamond facade hides carbon. A simple coal, an ordinary soul like many others. But you made something more out of that ordinary coal. You are a diamond. Indestructible, the most durable of all. The purest form, preserved among the other gems and stones of the Capitol, because that's what all these power-hungry assholes are—coals that have decided not to change, to choose what is easy for them. I hope now you can see why I liked that nickname for you, diamond. So I hope you always stay true to yourself. No matter what. That's what I learned here, and I want to pass it on to you. Although I hope that by then the three of us will meet again in the Capitol. Do not wait for us both, Sejanus P.S. I miss you too.
You fold the letter and put it back in the envelope. You wipe away the tears that remain on your cheeks with your hands and take a few ragged breaths, trying to calm down.
You freeze when suddenly someone's arms wrap around you. The scent of roses hits your nostrils.
You get up from the couch like you've been burned and push Coriolanus' arms away from you. The feeling of sadness quickly turns to anger and pure fury as you stare at Snow.
"What the hell are you doing here?" you growl through a clenched jaw, extremely glad that there's a couch between you, or you'd hit him. And it was easier for you to explain your tears and smeared makeup than your red knuckles.
"Sweet, kind Plinth, giving you thoughtful gifts from beyond the grave. You love the dead Sejanus so much and ignore the living me. It must be hypocrisy on your part, don't you think? You accuse me of forgetting about Sejanus when you treat me so shamefully, worse than a dog. Should I die so that you can finally stop giving me the silent treatment and running away from me?"
"Believe me, you don't want to hear what I have to say to you." you huff, taking the bracelet and the letter. You hide them in the bodice of your dress and go to the mirror to fix your smudged makeup.
"You do not have to do that. Your boy isn't at the party anymore anyway." he says, standing so that you can see his reflection in the mirror.
"What?" you ask in surprise, turning to face him. You both stare at each other. In fact, you're only now getting a chance to take a good look at him. And you notice with dissatisfaction that the bastard found out from Tigris what your dress would look like, and he chose a suite so that both of you would match. "Where is Thomas?"
"Your little boy toy? Do you think he's enough of a distraction? That he can replace me? That he'll make you feel what I feel? Maby, that he can even protect you from me? Only I know you. I'm the only one worthy of your fucking attention and affection." you push past him, but he grabs your elbow.
"Touch me again and I'll cut off your hand and shove it down your throat." you growl, breaking away from his grip.
"Such aggression… I don't remember you from this side." he mocks you and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. You step away from him and cross your arms, staring at him defiantly.
"I will ask you one last time. Where is Thomas?"
"Let's just say that your mother and I caught him stealing your jewelry. We were merciful enough to solve the matter quietly. You will never see that garbage on the ball or any gala again. Certainly not on yours."
"Were you the one who framed him for this?" his silence and the calculating, self-proud look of the cat that caught the canary (or, in this case, the snake that choked the mouse) tell you everything. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" you ask furiously.
You want to move past him, but he pushes you back, making you bump into the wall. He closes the gap between you in one step, pressing his chest against yours.
"You're mine. You've always been. You shouldn't lead this loser on or give him false hopes. We both know we will end up together."
"I broke up with you." you remind him, not caring about his intimidating attitude.
"A mistake I intend to fix." he says, leaning towards you.
His nose brushes against yours, and you shiver. You lift your leg, trying to kick him in the groyne, but out of the corner of his eye, he sees your sudden movement and grabs your thigh in a tight grip. If it weren't for the thick layers of material, he would probably leave bruises.
"You... you have nothing to fix. There is no longer us. I don't even know you anymore, Coriolanus."
"Don't." he growls at you angrily. You can see the desperation and madness in his eyes at the fact that you're using his name and that you wrote off your relationship. "It was always you. You were always mine, Y/N, and I was always your Coryo."
"Things are changing quickly. We are not the same, and now we have nothing in common, nothing to talk about."
"We have EVRYTHING to talk about. I still love.."
"DON'T!" you interrupt him. He freezes. You rarely shout, especially at him. That's why he takes a step back before putting on his impassive mask again. "Don't even say that. You have no idea what love is. Sure, you may feel attached and even desire me at some point, but you have no idea of unconditional, true love. So for old time's sake, leave me alone."
"What about you? Do you think you are so holy and blameless? That I'm the only bad guy? You lied to me. You promised you would stay with me, no matter what."
"I promised it to my Coryo. Not to you, Coriolanus. My Coryo died in District 12 with Sejanus—maybe even in the Hunger Games—when you let Dr. Gaul brainwash you in the name of fame, money, and position. You think that old hag didn't tell me why Sejanus is dead? That I don't know that your songbird has disappeared? That I would believe that Highbottom just got high or drank himself to death?" he clenches his jaw and fists at your words. You can see how furious he is, but he holds back, still controlling himself.
"Everything I did, I did for us. For you. For Tigris and Grandma." you laugh, wondering who he's trying to fool—himself, you, or both of you at the same time.
"No. You're doing it for yourself. Only for yourself, Coriolanus." he gets even more angry and pins you to the wall again. His cool blue eyes are raging with rage, and you try hard to push away the feeling of fear he has stirred in you.
"Do you want a reason to hate me? So you and Tigris can still gossip about my madness? Then maybe I should let this old man pursue her and sell her as a wife to one of them for good money."
"KEEP HER OUT OF IT! It's Tigris, Coriolanus! Tigris! The woman whose sacrifice you owe your entire fucking life to! A woman who went out of her way to give your ungrateful, selfish ass something to wear. Who sacrificed the love of her life in the name of maintaining the façade of Snow's wealth?! You can give a damn about me, Sejan, and even that little songbird of yours, but if you fucking ruin the life of your cousin—the only goddamn person who still cares about you—I promise you, in memory of OUR dead friend, that there won't be a fucking hole where you could hide from me."
You stare daggers at each other, both openly expressing your resentment towards the other. You have no idea why he still cares about you—is it because of your money, position, or some sick fantasy he has in his head, or maybe he actually still cares about you?
You don't think about it when a more important issue arises.
Suddenly, he grabs your face in both hands and pulls you towards him, greedily kissing you as he connects your lips after a very long time of separation. He caresses your lips with his and kisses you with such fervour as if he craves you like a hermit starving for water.
And for a moment, you feel like you were with Coryo, when all that mattered to you was the other one, when you could get lost in each other, forgetting about the rest of the world and the worries that were waiting for you.
And that's exactly what he's doing now. He makes you forget about anything but him.
You can't help but moan into his mouth as he presses his body against yours. When he releases his strong grip on your cheeks to grab you around your waist and press you against his body, his leg is between yours.
He kisses you more hungrily, groaning too at the familiar warmth of your body against him and the feeling of your soft, silky skin pressing against him. The scent of your perfume mixes, creating a perfect combination of roses and your favourite flowers. Your hands automatically go to his hair as you hold on to him and press him to you. You don't like the gel on your hands from his hair, but you ignore this new, irritating feeling by biting his lip.
You don't think at all. As well as Coriolanus. You both just kiss each other, your tongues joining, as you both let your desire for one another take control of the situation.
You only come to your senses when your lips break apart. You gasp, trying to breathe again, as he fucks your exposed collarbones with kisses. Your brain comes back to you as he leaves a hickey on your neck. He bites you, making you moan so needily that a wave of shame washes over you with his tongue, soothing the bite. You push him away from you and place your hand on your chest, trying to regain control over yourself.
"See? We belong together. There is no other way, Y/N. We are all we need."
"Bullshit." you gasp, trying to ignore the possessive, smug feeling blooming in your chest when you see his messy hair and your lipstick smeared on his lips. "Since you are that good in losing your memory, then forget about me too."
"I can't. I just can't. You think I haven't tried? That you don't haunt me every damn step I take? Everything I have and everything I know is saturated with you. With the memory of both of us. I forgot about what I had with that songbird and my friendship with Sejanus, but I simply CAN'T forget about you. I haven't spent a single damn day without thinking about you. NOT EVEN ONE. And I know you felt the same way. Do you know why I didn't kill that stupid boy who was clinging to you? Because I knew it would make you hate me even more. I was alone without you at 12, and you know how it ended. You are my conscience. Without you... there's nothing holding me back. Without you, there is nothing to distinguish me from the Hunger Games tributes. I have no borders, mercy, compassion, or anything that makes people human beings. And Gaul knows it. That's why she told you all of my crimes; that's why you're paranoid now that I'm someone completely different. But it's still me. I. Am. Still. Your. Coryo." he says it firmly, taking a step closer to you with each word.
"Don't turn me into a fucking cricket for your Pinocchio. I am not, and I do not want to be your conscience. I will not take part in your lies, games, and manipulations." you say as you both stare at each other, neither of you wanting to concede to the other in any way.
"I will have you. One way or another, but I will. Even if it is the last thing I do, I will have you by my side. Just where you always belonged. I promised you to be my First Lady. And I intend to keep that promise."
"You must become president first. And believe me, I will do everything in my power to prevent that from happening. Maybe you can't forget about me. But I can. I do not need you. I never needed you. How ironic to be able to lose the memories of everyone except the girl who will be the end of you, isn't it, CORIOLANUS?" you mock him, a smirk on your lips, making him a promise.
You walk past him, and this time he lets you go, knowing full well that he won't do anything more with you today. At least he got his kiss and a little taste of you, a reminder of the reward that awaits him when everything finally falls into place. When he finally has you in his arms and is at the top of Panem—his rightful place.
"The game has just begun!" he shouts after you, staring at you as you head towards the bathroom to touch up your ruined makeup. It gives you satisfaction to think that this bastard will probably have to clean himself up after your little make-out session, too.
You think that maybe Gaul was right about the Hunger Games being the whole world. But the reality was that there could only be ONE winner.
And among the people of the Capitol, only you and Coriolanus had a real chance of winning. It has always been like that. And even lost memories that do not want to go away so easily are proof of this.
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Part 2
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lowkeyremi · 11 months
Text
Bakugo with the kids >:3 (bakugo x fem!reader)
This post was possible bc of @shima707 they commented on my bkg dad post for more so i decided to write more :D
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"Daddy, Shoko's cryin' again." Mayako says shaking her father. Katsuki usually sleeps in on Sundays with you by his side but for some reason he's waking up upon the fact that the newest addition to the family is crying.
"Where's mommy at? Tell her to get Shoko." He mumbles under the covers. Mayako gets off the bed to open the blackout curtains which causes Katsuki to groan loudly.
"I looked for mommy but she's not here!!" Katsuki perks up at those words, where could you be early on a Sunday morning?
"She's not here? That's weird, she woulda told me if she was goin' somewhere." Mayako glares at her father, it's actually pretty ironic. Katsuki feels like he's staring at himself.
Your blond husband rises from bed to brush his teeth, this was not how he imagined his day would start.
"Can you get one of Shoko's clean bottles off the rack, Maya?" he asks between brushes.
"Mommy already made a bottle for her its in the fridge left with a note to warm it up." Katsuki finds it strange that you left without saying anything. The hero jogs his memory trying to remember if you said anything about going out on Sunday.
Once he's freshened up, he makes his way to the nursery with Mayako by his side like a little assistant or something.
"Your brothers 'wake yet?" He asks opening the nursery door, he is met by loud cries from his little one.
"I think Kaien is awake, not sure about Kitaro." Katsuki nods, he picks up his daughter with his washed hands. He wanted all of his kids to have K names like him but you argued it'd be too confusing. You agreed on both your sons having K names but you named Shoko and Mayako.
"Alright Shoko, that's enough crying." She's only about four months old which means aside from eating, pooping and peeing, crying is all she can really do. He cradles her and puts the bottle in her mouth. The cries stop immediately and she sucks on the bottle harshly.
"Daddy, please don't get mommy pregnant anymore. I'm tired of hearing crying everyday." She admits in a tired tone as if she's the one who cares for all the children. She does contribute to her siblings care though.
"Hah? I hafta hear crying every day, more than you did and how do you even know I'm the reason mommy has babies?" He's shocked to say the least, Mayako is only nine.
"Well for one mommy was always like 'I swear on my life all that man wants to do is get me pregnant' or 'I'm not having anymore of his kids after this one' so I asked Aunty Mina what she was talking about and she gave me as she called it 'a watered down version of how babies are made'." Mayako explained to her father. He should've known it was Mina.
He switched Shoko's postion so he could burp her, then he realized he needed her towel or he'd have spit up on his shirt.
"'N what exactly did Mina say?" He completely ignores that fact that you've complained about pregnancy, he's heard it all before. Whatever Mina told his daughter was something ridiculous he already knew it.
"She said that you slid your hotdog into mommy's bun and the mayo created a baby hotdog." Katsuki cringes hard. Out of all the things Mina could have told his daughter it had to be that.
"I hate that idiot so much." He mumbles. Shoko gives a good burp and a few coos. Katsuki adores the fact that Shoko has your eyes and your nose.
"Go tell Kaien to brush, Kitaro too if he's 'wake." Mayako gives a silent nod and stomps out of the nursery. Katsuki predicts that Kaien will come crying in a little bit, he and his sister clash often due to Mayako's firey temper and his softness.
He's determined to change Shoko's diaper and clothes before Kaien comes in crying.
Katsuki gets lucky and is able to start breakfast when Kaien comes crying in the kitchen. "Daddy, Mayako's being mean. I hate her!" He yells folding his arms.
"Woah kid, we don't say hate. Especially not about family." Katsuki says, he's in his 'Kiss the chef' apron in courtesy of you.
"You say hate all the time!" Kaien argues, and well, he's right. Katsuki doesn't want his child outsmarting him, though.
"That's cuz I'ma grown up." It's the best thing he can come up with at the moment. A father of four with his wife away can only do so much. He's got Shoko strapped to his chest while he's cooking.
Katsuki gets no respond from his son, so it's time to do some digging.
"What did your sister do, Kaien?" He was not at all prepared for Kaien's answer, he expected that she was bossing him around or something.
"S-she said that I can't use the spicy toothpaste because I'm a baby!" Spicy toothpaste? Oh, he must mean the mint toothpaste.
"What did you tell her?" He quickly scarmbles the eggs with the cooking chopsticks.
"I told her six isn't a baby and she said it is." Katsuki almost laughed, not at Kaien. It's just that cute little pout he has on his face.
"Maya-"
"Yeah?" She responds before her father can finish calling her name. He had a sneaking suspicion that she was lurking around the corner waiting to interject and say that her brother was wrong.
"Why can't Kaien use the spicy toothpaste?" The eggs are done so he plates them and checks on the rice. Shoko was drooling all over his collarbone even with her baby towel.
"Cuz he's only six, he should use the kid toothpaste." She says in her 'as-a-matter-of-fact' voice.
"Are you Kaien's ma?" Katsuki asks, he doesn't miss a beat while chopping the spring onions.
"No but-"
"Aht, no buts. You're not his ma so you can't go around telling him what to do. Unless of course, you're babysitting 'em." He sets the chopped onions aside and puts the rice and eggs into bowls. He makes sure all the servings are equal or he'll get complaints from his mini critiques.
"Mkay." She's sour right now.
"Where's Kitaro?" Katsuki garnishes the the food and sets it on the table.
"We both tried to wake him up but he kept saying he was tired." Mayako comments and sits in her normal spot.
"Ain't nothing for him to be tired for, he's eight." Mayako shrugs at her father's words and says thanks for the food. She and Kaien dig in.
Katsuki heads up the stairs, Shoko still strapped to him. His eyes scan the hallway and it's covered in toys. The blond makes a mental note for his kids to clean up later.
He walks over toys to reach Kitaro's room, the door's closed which isn't normal. You enforced the 'no closed doors' rule, unless someone's in the bathroom or changing.
He opens it half expecting Kitaro to be doing something bad. Instead the eight year old is snoring like he hasn't slept in years.
"Get up kid, time to eat. Go brush." He shakes Kitaro.
He just groans, pulls his covers over his head, and yawns.
"I'm tired." Katsuki raises a brow.
"Tired from what?" Once again, Kitaro's only eight, he can't be doing anything that energy consuming.
"Video games." He mumbles from under the covers.
"Tch, 's why you don't needta be playin' them. I don't know why that old hag got you a gaming system." Kitaro is sluggish getting out of the bed. Katsuki's watching him like a hawk. He watched him all the way until he was at the table.
He sees you sitting with Kaien in your lap eating some of his food because he's not likely to finish it.
"There's my baby girl!" You coo to Shoko. Katsuki undoes the baby carrier and takes her out of it. Those ruby red eyes scan your body for any indication of your activities this morning.
"Where have you been all mornin'?" Shoko babbles while Katsuki starts eating breakfast.
"I went to the gym, I'm trying to lose baby weight." You explain with a small smile.
"Tch, why's it matter? I'm your man 'n I like you the way you are." He never understood why you were so insecure.
"I'm not doing it for anyone besides myself." Kaien whines when you pick at his eggs.
"You aren't gonna eat them, little boy." You boop his nose and he tries to bite your finger.
"Too slow, Kai." He pouts, and it looks just like when Katsuki pouts.
"Why didn't ya tell me you were leavin'?" He huffs.
"Cuz you'd tell me I look good and convince me to stay." You're met by his silence which tells you you're right.
"Date night?" Katsuki asks with a sly smirk.
"No more babies!" Mayako protests.
"I agree- wait how do you-?!"
"Mina." Your husband and eldest daughter say at the same time.
"Oh I love her." It doesn't take a genius to know Mina probably told her some crazy watered down version of sex.
"Ki, hon, you look tired." He yawns at your words.
"He stayed up all night on that gaming system the old hag gave him." Your eyes widen.
"Katsuki! Your mom is not the 'h word' and I've been meaning to put parental controls on that thing." He rolls his eyes at your pg language when you normally have the mouth of a sailor when the kids aren't around.
"Whatever." The hero scoffs.
"Love you too, Kats!" You wink at him obnoxiously and he groans.
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Thanks shima707 for giving me the motivation to write more, and I'm glad you enjoyed the first part! Love you guys and see ya next time <3
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rafeandonlyrafe · 6 months
Text
imagination part two
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part one part three
words: 1k
warnings: 18+ only! smut, male receiving oral, face fucking
taglist: @drewstarkeyslut @thelomlisrafecameron @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drewsbabygirll @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl
“shit, baby!” rafe grabs the towel hanging on the wall, wrapping it around his waist to cover himself. “what did you forget honey?” 
you completely forgot what you were came back for, blinking several times at rafe, your eyes glazed over as you take in his muscles, the memory of what is now being covered by the towel seared into your mind.
“baby girl, what did you forget?” rafe asks again.
“i-um. my scrunchie.” you say, reaching for the scrunchie you left on the counter. a silly thing to come back for maybe, but rafe knows it's your favorite.
“im glad you got it, now let me get dressed and ill walk you out to your car, yeah?” rafe tucks the towel so it holds itself up, slowly advancing towards you.
“rafey, why were you calling my name?” you ask as he comes up to you, placing his hands on your shoulders. “were you… touching yourself?”
rafe swallows his surprise. “what does my innocent girl know about touching yourself?”
your cheeks flare red. “i don't wanna be innocent anymore, rafe. i-i want you to take my virginity.”
rafes eyes slide closed, his chest moving in a steady up and down motion, trying to control himself from going completely feral and doing what you ask by bending you over the counter and thrusting his length into you.
“baby, you should spend some more time thinking about it.”
“no.” you frown, “i want you. now.”
rafe groans, like he's releasing his last bit of self control, and walks you backwards into the bedroom. you move to the bed, allowing him to control your movements as you sit down on the comforter.
“we'll go slow.” rafe says, more commanding himself than telling you.
“can i see your dick again?” you ask, eyes now closer to level with the towel wrapped around his waist, sticking up in the center from where he had rehardened.
“yeah.” rafe nods, wishing he could get you naked first, but wanted to let you have a bit of control before he lost all of his and fucked you like an animal.
you tug at the towel, much more eager than rafe thought you would be. if he knew that you accidentally seeing him naked would spur this moment, he would have started walking around naked a lot earlier in your relationship.
the towel falls to the floor and your eyes widen, taking in how long and thick rafes cock is, jutting out from his body. you wrap your hand around the base and give him a stroke, making rafe groan out.
“is this good?” you question, and rafe nods, going to answer verbally when he cuts himself off with a gasp when you continue to move your hand.
you scrunch your face in concentration as you stroke him, trying to tell what he likes by the noises and faces he's making, and by how his cock twitches in your hand.
you swipe your thumb over his tip, a bit of precum leaking out. before you can really think over your actions, you lean forward and flick your tongue over his leaky head.
“fuck!” rafe shouts out, not expecting your actions. you quickly pull back, thinking you did something wrong or something that didn't feel good, but as you retreat, rafe pushes forward, his cock slipping past your lips, filling your mouth.
“fuck…” rafe groans again, unable to control the curses falling from his tongue. “baby just… just relax okay? im gonna fuck your mouth. i-i can't stop.” 
you nod curtly, wishing you had more experience before doing this with rafe, but you trust him to lead you, even as he pushes his hips further forward, until his cock hits the back of your throat, causing you to cough.
“relax, baby.” rafe warns again, pulling out to let you take a full breath before his cock is back in your mouth, and this time he doesn't move slowly, snapping his hips forward and back, thrusting himself repeatedly into your mouth.
you try to breathe through your nose the best you can, only gagging occasionally when rafe hits particularly deep. he brings his hands to your head, moving you in rhythm with him. 
you close your eyes, feeling tears fall down your cheeks. you hope that whatever you’re doing is making rafe feel good as he moans above you. 
“i’m sorry baby.” rafe runs his palm over the top of your hair. “i just can’t stop, you feel too good.”
you hum around his cock, trying to tell him that it’s okay, that you want to make him feel good like this, but he can’t let up as he continues to fuck your face, drool now rolling down your cheeks.
“gonna cum.” rafe warns only seconds before he shoots down your throat, somehow able to cum so quickly after just masturbating in the shower. you swallow everything he has to offer, moaning softly at the taste as he starts to soften in your mouth. he pulls out with a soft sigh, and you heave in large breaths, wiping your chin and neck clean.
rafe seems to suddenly realize what he just did as he kneels down in front of you, placing his hands on your knees. “are you okay? i’m so sorry, babygirl, i couldn’t stop.”
“it’s okay, rafey.” you shake your head. “it… felt really good. i liked that.”
“i didn’t hurt you?” rafe confirms.
“no.” you shake your head. “i wanna do it again.”
rafe laughs, pulling you into a kiss. you melt against him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, keenly aware of the fact that he is still naked and the intense craving to have him between your thighs.
“i can’t get it back up right now, but we can definitely do that again, and more.” rafe says, standing up and letting you recover as he gets dressed, donning a simple pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt.
“are you… are you not going to fuck me tonight?” you ask, a pout coming to your face.
“not tonight baby.” rafe shakes his head. “need you to keep some of that innocence for a bit longer darling.”
“rafe, thats so unfair!” you whine.
“no it’s not. i’m giving you more time to think about wanting to lose your virginity because once i’m in that pussy baby-” rafe pauses to kiss the top of your head before moving his mouth to your ear “i am going to fucking destroy it.”
part three
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