#i cant promise to answer all of them bc i am bad at this. but if i'm well enough then i'll try

[crimeronan]

i've seen a couple people in the notes of this very good post about fictional polyamory by @thebibliosphere say things along the lines of "oh, i've been doing it wrong :(" or "how do i know if i did this right??" or "i should probably give up and start over, i wrote this badly :(" and. no!!!!

(i AM seeing far MORE people say "oh, this clarified and helped me so much, i think i know how to fix issues i've been having with my own story" which. YES!!!!)

listen. if you're a monogamous person who's writing a polyamorous relationship, and you've been focusing mainly on The Triad and All Three Together All The Time as the endgame, that's literally fine. that's a perfectly acceptable and strong starting point for your plotting, imo. you do not need to give up on a story that you've started like this.

but the things discussed in the post Can and Should improve your execution!

you can keep the same plot beats and overall relationship arc 100%. polyamorous relationships are infinite in their formations, every one is unique. "basically a monogamous romance but with three people" Does exist, as a relationship type. you're not hashtag Misrepresenting (TM) poly people with it

BUT i do think it will help to read up on some poly people talking about how their relationships Differ from monogamous ones.

so i have outlined some basic important concepts about polyamory.

MORE IMPORTANTLY though, i've broken down some questions that you can answer throughout the writing process to strengthen your individual dyad relationships, your individual characterization, & your characters' individual feelings/experiences. this is a writing resource have fun

future kitkat butting in to say i spent over two hours writing this and it definitely needs a readmore. it is also NOT comprehensive. but everything should be pretty simple to follow! feel free to reblog if you find it helpful yourself or just want to reward me for how gotdan long this took KSLDKFJKDL.

i've grabbed quick links for a couple of the important concepts, some have SEO pitches in them but the info largely seems to be good. (if i missed anything Egregiously Gross on these sites i should be able to update the links with better ones later, since they're under the readmore.)

sidenote: this is NOT meant to be overwhelming, despite the length. if you can't read all of this, that's Okay. you do not need to give up on your writing.

here we go:

compersion!

compersion is a BIG thing in a lot of polyamorous relationships. it's joy derived from seeing two (or more) of your partners happy together, or joy derived from seeing your partner happy with someone else.

compersion is really important as a concept because it highlights that every individual relationship within a polycule is different -- and that that's a GOOD thing. it's sort of the inverse of jealousy.

by the "inverse of jealousy," i mean that instead of feeling left out and upset and possessive, you feel happy/joyous/content.

i can use personal experience as an example: it's a Relief for me when my partners receive joy/support/sex/romance/etc that i can't (or prefer not to) give them. and i love seeing my partners make each other laugh and be silly together.

it's 100% okay for a poly triad not to be together 100% of the time, it doesn't mean that the third member is being left out or not treated equally when two people do things alone together.

(i have individual dates with my partners all the time! PLUS larger 3-and-4-person date nights.)

if the third member DOES feel jealous or left out, then the polycule can have a conversation to figure out what needs/wants aren't being met, and solve that. this happens semi-regularly in my polycule, as it will happen in any relationship (including monogamous ones)! it's just part of being an adult, sometimes you have to talk about feelings.

metamours!

a metamour is someone who is dating your partner, but ISN'T dating you. this may not be relevant for people writing closed three-person romantic sexual triads, but it's a super helpful term to know.

the linked article also lists different types of metamour relationships with some fun phrasing i hadn't heard before. the tl;dr is: sometimes you'll be domestic cohabitation friends, sometimes you'll be buddies with your own friendship, sometimes you might not interact much outside of parties, every relationship is different.

there's no one-size-fits-all requirement for metamour relationships. sometimes polyamorous people will end up dating their metamour after a while (has happened to me), sometimes polyamorous people will break up with one partner for normal life reasons, but remain friendly metamours.

the goal of polyamory is NOT for EVERYONE to fall in love. it is 100% okay if this happens in your story, it happens in real life too! but it is also 100% okay for characters to be metamours without ever becoming "more than friends."

(sidenote: try to kill any internalized "more than" that you have when it comes to friendship. friends are just as important and special and vital as partners.)

of course there are a million ways for messiness to occur with metamours within a complex polycule, exactly like with close-knit platonic friend groups. however this post is not about that! there's enough "here's how polyamory can go wrong" stuff out there already, so i'm focusing on the positives here :)

open versus closed polyamorous relationships!

i'm struggling to find an online article that reflects my experience without directly contradicting at least SOME stuff. so i'll give a quick rundown

google has a bunch of conflicting definitions of open relationships and whether open relationships are different from polyamory. the general consensus seems to be that an open relationship prioritizes one partnership (often a marriage), but that each partner can have extraneous flings or long-term commitments (most often sexual in nature).

this is not typically how i use the term wrt polyamory. the poly concept is pretty simple. a closed polyamorous relationship is one with boundaries like a monogamous one. there are multiple partners in the polycule, but they are not interested in having anybody new join said polycule.

an open polyamorous relationship tends to be more flexible -- it just means that IF someone in the polycule develops mutual feelings for a new person, it's fine for them to become part of said polycule if they want to! the relationship/person is open to newcomers.

some groups will need to negotiate this all together, others will just go "haha, you kids have fun." just depends on the individuals!

with open AND closed polyamorous relationships, the most important thing is making sure that there's respectful communication and that everyone is on the same page. but there's no one-size-fits-all way to do that.

i wish i could give you guys a prescriptive "You Must Do It This Way" guide, but that's.... basically the opposite of what polyamory is about, HAHA.

feelings for multiple people!

i was gonna tack this on to the previous section but decided it warranted its own lil bit.

a defining feature (....i'm told?) of monogamous relationships is that a monogamous person only has feelings for One individual at a time. they only want a relationship with one individual at a time. or, if they DO have feelings for multiple people simultaneously, they're still only comfortable dating one person at a time & being exclusive with that one person.

this is perfectly fine!

the poly experience is generally different from this. but once again..... polyamorous people all have different individual perspectives on this.

for me, i have never been able to draw hard boxes around romantic vs sexual vs platonic relationships, & i love many people at once. my personal polycule lacks many strict definitions beyond "these are my chosen people, i want to forge a life with them indefinitely, whatever shape that life takes"

some poly people feel explicit romantic or sexual attraction to multiple people at once, some poly people feel almost no romantic or sexual attraction at all. i'd say that MOST poly people feel different things for different partners, which is not a bad thing!

some poly people are even monogamous-leaning -- they have just chosen one romantic partner who is themselves part of a larger polycule. (so this monogamous-leaning person has at least one metamour!)

or alternatively, they might have one romantic partner AND a qpr, or other ways of defining relationships. (this is a factor in my own polycule!)

i made this its own point because if you're writing a straightforward triad, this is unlikely to come up in the story itself -- but it's worth thinking about how your characters develop/handle feelings outside of their partnerships.

like, is this sort of a soulmateship, 'these are the only ones for me' type deal? in which they won't fall in love with anyone else, and can be fairly certain of that?

that's pretty close to typical monogamous standards but you Can make it work. just be thoughtful with it

alternatively, can you see any of these characters falling in love Again after the happily-ever-after? and how would the triad approach it, if so? what would they all need to talk about beforehand, and what feelings would everybody have about the situation?

it's worth considering these questions even if the hypothetical will never feature in your actual canon, because knowing the answers to these questions will help you understand all of the individuals & their relationship(s) MUCH better.

i've been typing this for nearly two hours and there's a lot more i COULD say because... there's just a lot to say. i'll close out with some quick questions that you can ask yourself when developing the dyad dynamics within your triad

first, take a page and create a separate section for each individual dyad. then answer these questions for every pair:

how does each pair act when alone?

how do they act differently alone compared to when they're with their third partner?

are there any elements of this dyad (romantic, sexual, financial, domestic, etc) that these two people DON'T have with the third partner?

if so, what are they?

are there any boundaries or hard limits within this dyad that aren't shared with the third partner?

if so, what are they?

partner 3 goes out of town alone for a few weeks. what are the remaining two doing in their absence?

(doesn't have to be anything special, it's just to get a sense of how the two interact on a day-by-day basis without the third there)

what is something that each partner in the dyad admires about the other -- that they DON'T necessarily see in the third partner?

what problem do These Two Specifically need to solve in the story before their relationship will work?

how is that problem DIFFERENT from the problems being solved within the other two dyads?

doing this for ALL THREE dyads is VITAL imo. that way, you develop complex and nuanced and different relationships that all have unique dynamics.

those questions should be enough to get you started, i hope

then After you've charted the differences in relationships, you can start to jot down similarities in the overarching triad. what does one person admire in Both of their partners? what are activities that all three like to do together? what are boundaries or discussions that all three share?

but the main goal is to figure out how to Differentiate each relationship!

a polycule is only as strong as the individual relationships within it. if two people are struggling with their own relationship, adding a third person won't fix that.

(UNLESS the third person is the catalyst for those two to, like, Actually Communicate And Work Their Shit Out. i just mean that the old adage of "maybe if we just add a third-" works about as well to fix a miserable non-communicative marriage as, uh, "maybe if we have a baby-")

AND FINALLY.

if you're not sure whether your poly romance reads organically to poly people, you can hire a sensitivity reader with poly experience. if you can't afford that, you can read up on polyamorous resources like a glossary of terms & articles actually written by poly people. (and stories written by poly people!)

you can also just.... ask poly people questions, if they're open to it. i like talking about polyamory and my own relationships so you're welcome to send asks if u want, i just can't guarantee i'll answer bc my energy levels fluctuate a lot and i don't always have time.

polyamorous people are in an uphill battle for positive representation right now & so the LAST thing i want to see is authors giving up on their stories bc they're worried about getting things Wrong. well-meaning and positive stories that treat this kind of love as normal, healthy, & aspirational are So So So Needed. even if you guys end up with some funky-feeling details.

seriously, if you're monogamous then you probably don't have a full idea of Just How Nasty a lot of people can get about polyamory. i wish it DIDN'T mean so much for you guys to want to write nice stories about us, but it does mean a lot. and it means a lot that you want to do it WELL.

in conclusion. this is not a prescriptive guide, it's just a way to raise questions. and also, you all are doing FINE.

#thebibliosphere i apologize for tagging u when we don't know each other at all i just want u to get credit for the initial discussion #given that it is so much more thoughtful and clear than anything i'd think to write. #i did NOT mean to spend multiple hours on this but once i started writing i was like #oh god i actually do have like a lot i can tell monogamous people about writing poly people & the poly perspective #anyway. i mention it in the post but people can send me (respectful. obviously) asks if they have questions #i cant promise to answer all of them bc i am bad at this. but if i'm well enough then i'll try #polyamory #non-monogamy #ethical non-monogamy #writing #my writing #writing advice #relationships

[grimalkinmessor]

Hi welcome to my very tired rant

#sapiosexuality #sapiosexual #cognisexual #i am SO. TIRED. #idc if we get rep but i DO care if we get BAD rep im gonna bite hollywood's ankle and shake it in my teeth like a dog #lgbtq+ #my art #grim rants #PSA #i didnt try very hard for the art because im better with words but also i know peeps pay more attention to doodles #so take a bunch of chibi grims have fun #i made this in an hour dont look at me #demisexual #personally im a panromantic sapiosexual #if you have questions plz ask them #i cant promise ill have all the answers bc everyone's experience is different but i will damn well do my best #clown on this post and i will block you so fucking fast your head will spin

[haemosexuality]

insanely long analysis of the ep promise of she-ra <3

(first a bit of S1e10- the beacon)

[Adora is talking to the woods as she-ra.] Just let me fix this, please!  I-I can’t let anyone else get hurt. [she transforms back into adora and sits down] Fine. You win. You want me to be weak? Well. I am.  And I’m afraid. Because, I-I’m no good at any of this.

God doesn’t that hurt immediately off the bat. “just let me fix this, please” is a perfect summary of adoras entire character. She is so, so desperate to be useful- she needs to help other people, she needs to fix everything and save everyone. She cant let herself be a person, shes a vessel (HRUAHHRAGHHH season 5) to help others, shes a tool and a means to an end. Shes the hero. But shes bad at that, because no matter how much she represses herself, she feels and wants things so strongly all the time. She hopes and begs for direction and destiny but shes terrified of not having control. She will desperately try again and again to be the perfect hero-sacrifice that will heal the world and keep her friends safe but she doesn’t want that, not really, what she wants is to go to parties and hang out with her friends and catra, but she feels she doesn’t deserve that. She cant let herself have anything she wants. But she still does. Shes afraid and shes weak and shes too young for this. Her wanting things so strongly is what ruins everyones plans, shadow weaver’s and light hope’s and horde prime’s. its what saves everyone. This doesn’t have anything to do w the scene I was talking about anymore oops. “I’m no good at any of this” just confirms that, shes bad at being your standard self sacrificing selfless hero in the same way catra was bad at being an unfeeling purely evil villain. She just cant stop being a person

Ok now onto Promise: the ep starts immediately after that scene, with adora going inside the crystal castle looking for answers on how to heal glimmer, and catra following after her looking for tech that she can use (and also to spy on adora bc that might not have been her primary objective but shes not gonna pass up on that chance lol)

“You are not ready yet. You must let go.” “let go of what?” [camera pans to catra] will always be so. Ugh poetic cinema

How did anyone ever trust light hope lmao immediately from the first time she shows up shes all like “free yourself of all of your earthly attachments and join my hero training course”. Also, again, adora’s attachment to catra (and glimmer and bow) has always been the main thing saving her from falling head first into self sacrificial bullshit. She cant let go of her. She will never fully let go of her.

Catra: What's going on? Why are those things trying to kill us?

She-Ra: They're trying to kill you. This place sees you as an invader.

Catra: Well, can't you tell them to stop?

She-Ra: [incredulously, frustrated] No, I can't tell them to stop! Clearly nothing in here is listening to me!

Oh I just realized something. The crystal castle is a place that was made for adora and caters to her, and it sees catra as an invader. Much like how in the Horde, adora was favoritized and shadow weaver’s center of attention while catra was mistreated and discarded. Seen as an invasion, a corrupting force in Adora’s life. The one thing adora cant control in the crystal castle is how it reacts to catra, it activates security protocol no matter what she does, like how adora could never fully protect catra from shadow weaver and the others. Even throughout the episode and at the end, we see catra fighting tooth and nail to survive everything the castle throws at her while adora undermines her (“I had it.” “Sure you did.”), and by the end all her fighting pays off and she comes out victorious, like how she goes up in the horde until shes effectively its lord. The crystal castle (im just gonna call it CC) literally becomes the fright zone throught the simulation too I cant believe I didn’t get this before

Catra: Anyway, what are you doing here? [angrily, sarcastically] Where are your new best friends? I thought you guys did eVeRyThInG together.

The similarity between this and the flashback scene where we see a child catra say “go eat with your new best friend lonnie! I know you like her better than me. Youre supposed to me my friend” really shows how immature they still are I think. Not as a like, inherent character flaw or smth, they just weren’t raised in a place where emotional maturity is a thing you learn. They were never taught how to deal with their emotions in any way, other than “repress it really hard, hit someone and blow up a civilian”. Of course theyre emotionally stunted. This probably also contributes to both of them’s very black and white way of thinking. Also theyre still in the 17-18 range so like literally theyre teens. Just goes to show that them being separated for a while was necessary, bc they needed to break off their codependency to be able to grow as people and mature emotionally, that would never happen if they stayed together and just enabling each others toxic traits, instead of being able to have a healthy relationship like they do after the end.

Something I also never considered before is why the CC showed them the memories it did? Like. Was it light hope that chose those? I assume so since she not only has shown she can do that but also watched adora her entire life so she knows all her memories. Did she specifically pick out painful memories that she thought would tear them further apart? It seems obvious now but I just never thought ab this before. The first memory shown does go against that tho, its just baby adora and catra being cute. Maybe she wanted to show them how much their relationship had deteriorated?

↑ gay

↑ gay

↑ gay

Ooooouough this is when it starts to hurt pray for my emotional stability

Adora: ...Can I ask you something?

Catra: Can I stop you?

Adora: ...Why did you help me escape after Shadow Weaver captured us?

Catra: Not this again.

Adora: It's the one thing I can't figure out. You didn't have to do that. You could've gotten caught...why risk it? [Rock on the edge crumbles beneath her; yelps] Whoa, whoa, whoa--!

Catra: Did you really think I'd just let Shadow Weaver erase your memory like that?

Adora: I dunno. Probably.

[Adora grunts as Catra pulls her up]

Catra: Yeah, well, you never did have too much faith in me.

Adora: Can you blame me?

Catra: Not really.

This is so. Ugh. I love adora but especially in the first season shes so.. girl what are you doing!!!! How can she be so ignorant. Obviously I know how but. Augh so much of catra’s hurt stems from this… when I say that adora was fully, totally brainwashed by the horde, I don’t mean just that she believed their propaganda about the war, or whatever bullshit shadow weaver ingrained in her about her purpose. She also believed what they all said about catra. To a lesser extend, obviously, and she loved catra with all of herself- but she did still believe catra was a bit lazy, kinda disrespectful, uncaring, etc. and I cant even totally blame her, because catra actively tried to make herself seem all those things. Catra didn’t want to let anyone know how hard she tried, how much she hurt, so she played up the “aloof, lazy student/soldier who doesn’t care about anything” role as much as she could. But still, god, the way adora treated her must have hurt so much. “you never did have too much faith in me” absolutely breaks my heart. Catra cared about adora so much. She cared about adora more than anything in her life. Obviously she would do anything to prove herself once she can, look at how even the person who loved her the most thought about her. Im gonna talk more ab this later there are better scenes for that. But also I CANNOT BELIEVE ADORA IN THIS!!! GIRL WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!! WDYM CAN U BLAME ME YES I CAN (ignore the part where I said I couldn’t) DON’T JUST SAY THAT SHE SAVED YOUR LIFE. OH MY GOD ok. Being a catra, an adora, and a catradora stan means sometimes u really want to slap s1 adora in the face. For multiple reasons. and the fact catra agrees too…. Catra hates herself so much. She truly honestly believes shes a bad person and it breaks my heart. And unfortunately for everyone, catra has shown that she'll always play a role that shes assigned to the max. everyone believed that shes a villain, she believed that shes a villain, so by fucking god shes gonna be a villain.

putting the rest of this under a readmore bc its longggg

her tail touching adoras hand i am on the floor

Catra: It wasn't all bad growing up in the Fright Zone, was it? I mean, you still have some good memories, right? (dont trust the subtitles in the pics theyre wrong)

THIS scene destroys me. Catra’s so- she always knew the horde was evil, ok, she always knew their childhood was bad. But she endured it for adora. To catra, all the happy memories they made growing up were worth it- all for adora. It didn’t matter what they did. Only to see adora throw all these moments away the moment she realized the rest of it was bad? God, catra mustve felt like she was garbage to adora. Something that wasn’t even worth thinking about once she had the opportunity of something better. Shes very aloof here, as always, but she probably feels a bit desperate- was it worth it for you too? Did any of it matter to you? Where you just miserable the entire time?

Adora: Of course I do. But it doesn't change the fact that the Horde is evil. I had no choice. I couldn't go back.

This is adora’s biggest problem tho. She had no choice, she couldn’t go back. She never feels like she can choose anything based on what she actually wants. Shes always, always driven by this need to do good, the right thing. And this is where theyre most incompatible at first, because while catra only cares about adora and that’s her priority, adora has Morals and puts the greater good over her personal relationships, which to catra makes it seem like she doesn’t care about her. Her happy memories were absolutely worth it to adora, but theyre not more important than the good of the entire world. (I don’t think adora having a sense of morality and not wanting to side with a military empire is a bad thing, catra was the villain of the show for a reason and the reason is that obviously working for something that wants to take over the world is bad. Im just explaining how this is what drove them apart, how catras mind works, and to an extend why you can understand her side and emphatize with her even if she was in the wrong. That trait of adora’s does get bad when she starts acting like she needs to kill herself for that greater good tho.)

them taking a moment to play-fight in the middle of all of that makes me want to sobbbbb 😭😭😭

TINY LITTLE BABIESSSSSSSSSSS Young Catra: What was that? Way to gang up on me!

Young Lonnie: You were fighting dirty. I was just leveling the field.

[Catra shakes and growls in anger as Adora walks up and places a hand on Catra's shoulder]

Young Adora: Hey, you were awesome! Did I hurt you?

Young Catra: No, I'm fine. You're just lucky I let you win.

Young Adora: Riiiiiiiight.

Young Catra: I'm serious! [scoffs] If I came in first, people might expect me to actually start doing stuff around here. Trust me, second place suits me just fine.

Young Adora: Yeah, okay.

EVERYTHING I SAID BEFORE. you can see catra was obviously extremely upset that she didn’t win, but admitting that would be admitting defeat. She shrinks herself to fit into this “no im fine, im chill, im not even trying in fact. I don’t care” attitude, because that hurts less than admitting that shes trying so, so hard but no one believes in her and she keeps losing to adora (mostly bc the other cadets and staff favoritize adora over her, and discriminate against her, making it harder for her to succeed in anything). And adora believes her. “second place suits me just fine” was the mantra catra kept telling herself through her entire life to try and feel less hurt about living in adoras shadow.

though it wasn’t working, and her resentment towards adora kept growing more and more.

oh this scene could be ab so many things. Catra literally slipping through her fingers. A parallel to earlier, when catra held onto adora and helped her up, while here theyre torn apart by a force stronger than them. How adora tried but couldn’t save catra. Aughh

:(

and here, we see how capable catra is. Shes both extremely strong (able to rip herself out of… whatever that is) and extremely smart, even under pressure (in seconds she figures out where she has damage this thing shes never seen before so it stops working)

only for adora to come in, “save the day” after she had already saved herself, and act all. “sure you did” about it. Again, making absolutely clear catra knows she doesn’t believe in her.

Adora: What is your problem? I was just trying to save you.

Catra: For the last time, I don't need you to save me. I've been doing just fine on my own. No thanks to you.

That says everything on its own. Adora doesn’t understand why catra is hurt/angry, she doesn’t even understand how what she said undermines catra. And catra is extremely bitter that adora keeps acting like That. Also, something I haven’t touched on is that adora leaving the horde put catra in so much danger. She was the only thing providing catra with even the slightest bit of protection, which catra -hated- but absolutely depended on, since shadow weaver had made clear that catra was -only ever kept alive because of adora-. Adora defecting put catra in danger not only of the other cadets targeting her, but of death. Catra was left all alone to survive in those conditions, and she did, and now adora keeps acting like catra needs her to save her.

Adora: Catra, wait. ...I'm sorry for leaving. I couldn't go back to the Fright Zone, not after I saw what the Horde was really doing. something that must have stung too is the idea that adora saw innocent people suffering, and that led her to realize that the horde was bad. But she had seen catra being abused by the horde their whole life, and yet still thought the horde was good. What does that say about how adora saw catra? Did she think catra deserve it, wasn’t innocent enough for that violence to be unwarranted? Was her suffering not enough for adora to realize how fucked up that was? (again, we’re able to know that it wasn’t that, adora was just as abused as catra, watching someone be physically abused is also extremely traumatized and kids will learn to justify the abuse theyre experiencing to themselves or others and might not realize its wrong u cant expect a kid to know how to act in a situation like that she was in as much survival mode as catra was and her trying to keep herself in shadow weaver’s good side was just her desperately trying to keep herself safe etc etc this is from catras perspective) I never wanted to leave you. ...You could come with me! You-you-you could join the rebellion! I know you're not a bad person, Catra. You don't belong with the Horde.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA this hurts so much. Adora might have internalized some of what the horde said ab catra and catra might have felt that 10 times as strong than it actually was but adora never actually believed catra was a bad person. Shes probably the only one (before scorpia and entrapta) that Didn’t think catra was destined to be a disgrace, to be bad. And its so sad bc even with all their flaws she loves catra so so much and she wants catra to come with her so much. Adora now has access to a life where she has the opportunity to be happy and she so desperately wants to give catra that same life. She knows catra deserves better and she can see that now more clearly than ever. But its too late, catra is too hurt and too angry to follow her and even if at this point adoras words might have some effect on her, its about to get so much worse. :(

Fuck this next part is going to hurt. Ok

Shadow Weaver: [screams angrily] Get out!

[Young Adora cries out in alarm as dark magic encloses the exit]

Shadow Weaver: Catra... [young Adora turns to see young Catra's form enveloped in a paralyzing, zapping magic] ...you stay.

[Young Catra grunts as she is forced to stand]

Shadow Weaver: What do you think you're doing in here?

[Shadow Weaver makes young Catra turn, feet squeaking on the floor as she does so without picking up her feet; Shadow Weaver clicks her mask back in place]

Catra: [fearfully] We were just playing.

Shadow Weaver: [hatefully] Insolent child. I've come to expect such disgraceful behavior from you. But I will not allow you to drag Adora down as well.

Adora: [pleading] Shadow Weaver, it wasn't her fault, it was my idea, too!

Shadow Weaver: [hatefully, still talking to Catra] You have never been anything more than a nuisance to me! I've kept you around this long because Adora was fond of you, but if you ever do anything to jeopardize her future, I will dispose of you myself. [slowly, enunciating] Do you understand?

Adora: [runs between them, throwing her arms out to protect young Catra; pleading] Please stop!

[The dark magic dissipates back into Shadow Weaver's cloak as she groans and moves back toward the Garnet; Young Adora and young Catra share a look before young Adora runs over to Shadow Weaver]

Adora: She didn't mean to!

Shadow Weaver: [placidly, attempting to soothe] Adora, you must do a better job of keeping her under control. [Shadow Weaver finally lets young Catra out of the paralyzing magic and she grunts as she falls to the ground] Do not let something like this happen again. [she pats young Adora's head as young Catra looks on]

Transcripts and screenshots cannot properly convey the dread of this scene. In a flashback, catra and adora are caught by shadow weaver playing in a place they weren’t supposed to be in, and shadow weaver paralyzes catra with electric magic we know is extremely painful to be caught in, and threatens her life. Catra and adora look to be like, between 6-7 years old in this scene. Theres so much happening here. This lays the foundation to basically everything that happens in the show.

First off, shadow weaver singles out, physically hurts catra, and blames her for something that adora initiated. then, she makes it clear that she sees catra and someone that is bad, and she doesn’t expect anything else from her. And, she says catra is a bad influence in adora’s life, tainting whats perfect, and that tells her that every time after this that adora “acts out”, will be catra’s fault.

she tells catra that, if she ever feels like catra is “ruining” adora, she will get killed. From now on, adora’s friendship is literally what is keeping catra alive. This will, understandably, fuck their relationship up a little bit and also make catra incredibly dependent on adora. She will do anything to keep being adora’s friend and she will have to make sure that shadow weaver doesn’t feel like she is making adora behave out of line or that she isn’t becoming better than adora, isn’t taking her number 1 spot away from her.

she goes on to tell adora, who has been watching all of this, that its her job to make sure catra is kept in line. She’s seen what happens when she doesn’t. this will make adora feel incredibly responsible for catras well being, and like she has to constantly save catra and beg for catra to act right, otherwise catra will get hurt and itll be her fault. On the other hand, adora is a child who just saw someone get tortured, and subconsciously shes gonna make sure to always stay in shadow weavers good side, not only bc if she doesn’t then catra gets punished but because she does not want that to happen to her too.

catra, who was frozen and electrocuted and berated, saw adora get gently talked to, “reassured”, and receive physical affection.

that results in catra growing up both extremely attached and extremely bitter of adora, for “having it easy” and always acting like shes her savior, while she has to constantly walk on eggshells (on a minefield, honestly) so she doesn’t get physically abused. She starts resenting adora as anything she does gets blamed on her, and shes forced to live as her shadow, her bad influence, the devil to adora’s angel. And in adora having a major savior/messiah complex, she feels like shes responsible for saving everyone, and every time someone gets hurt its her fault. She will live the rest of her life trying fix and save everything, because if she can’t then what good is she?

understanding that this is where all of their motivations, flaws, traumas and personalities come from will help u understand the entire show better tbh. It all comes down to shadow weaver. [Young Adora and Catra are walking down a hall in the Fright Zone, just after this incident; they walk past a pillar and become Present Adora and Catra again]

Catra: You always need to play the hero, don't you?

Adora: I was only trying to protect you.

Catra: You never protected me! Not in any way that would put you on Shadow Weaver's bad side.

[Scene transitions to Young Adora and Catra in the same place]

Young Catra: Admit it. You love being her favorite!

Young Adora:  That's not true!

Young Catra: Oh, yeah? [glitches back to Present Catra (and Adora)] When you left, who do you think took the fall for you? Who was protecting me then?

Adora: You don't have to let Shadow Weaver treat you like that anymore. You can leave--[glitches back to Young Adora and Catra]--just like I did!

Young Catra: Oh, because I need to follow you everywhere you go?!

Young Adora: I didn't mean it that way.

[glitches back to Present Adora and Catra]

Catra: I don't. Want. To leave. What don't you understand about that? I'm not afraid of Shadow Weaver anymore, and I'm a better Force Captain than you would've ever been.

[glitches back to Young Adora and Catra]

Young Adora: You always said you didn't care about things like that...

Young Catra: [crying] Well, I was lying, obviously!

[glitches back to Present Adora and Catra; Catra begins to walk away]

Adora: Catra, just wait!

Catra: Why do you think I gave the sword back to you in the Fright Zone? I didn't want you to come back, Adora!

That scene lays out everything I said so perfectly I don’t even have anything to add.

This scene where catra is running through a simulation of all her most painful memories and desperately screams LET! ME! OUT OF HERE!! perfectly represents what spiraling like that feels like

[a younger Catra, maybe 5 or younger, is crying and hiding her face in a blanket on their bunk in the Fright Zone]

Young Adora: [peers from around a doorway] ...Catra?

[Young Catra continues to sob as Young Adora walks to her; Young Adora peels back the cover from Young Catra's face, and Young Catra hisses]

Young Adora: Catra, it's okay, it's just me. It doesn't matter what they do to us, you know? You look out for me, and I look out for you. Nothing really bad can happen as long as we have each other.

Young Catra and Present Catra: You promise?

Young Adora: I promise.

And then the promise. Everything catra went through, all the abuse and bullying, she put up with all of it because of this. She held onto their promise until the end. But the moment adora decided to leave the horde, she broke their promise.

as the memory-simulation ends, young catra gives a look to present catra. One that probably said, remember this. Remember how much you mean for each other. Don’t break your part of the promise. But this isn’t how catra takes it at all. all this tells catra, all that this entire day has told catra, is how terrible adora is. Adora ruined her life. Adora lied to her, said they’d be together forever only to abandon her. Adora forced her to be in her shadow. Adora is the reason shadow weaver never treated her right. She looks at her younger self and thinks, I'll avenge you. Im never gonna let anyone hurt you ever again. Im going to show all of them how strong I can be, ill rise to the top and ill be unstoppable. Im never letting anybody put me down ever again.

(and then is season 5, seeing a younger version of herself is also what makes her realize how wrong she was, how this isn’t the path she wants to take. Its what motivates her to get better, be better. Thinking about herself as a child kickstarted both her descent into being a villain and her redemption arc/recovery.) [Adora is holding onto dear life to some ropes or smth that are keeping her from falling off a cliff. Catra shows up]

Adora: [hopeful] Catra?

Catra: [holding the sword, rubs a finger along its side] Hey, Adora.

Adora: [pleading] Catra, help me, please...

Catra: [contemplatively unhurried] This thing wouldn't work for me if I tried, would it? It only works for you. Then again, you're special. That's what Shadow Weaver always said.

Adora: Catra...what are you doing?

Catra: Ah, you know? It all makes sense now. You've always been the one holding me back. You wanted me to think I needed you. You wanted me to feel weak. Every hero needs a sidekick, right?

Adora: [desperately] Catra, no, that's not how it was...

Catra: [laughs humorlessly] The sad thing is, I've spent all this time hoping you'd come back to the Horde, when really you leaving was the best thing that ever happened to me. I am so much stronger than anyone ever thought.  

I wonder what I could've been if I'd gotten rid of you sooner...

[Catra cuts the last of the rope holding Adora up; Adora shrieks as she falls, catching a rock handhold on the way down]

Adora: I-I'm sorry! I never meant to make you feel like you were second best! Please don't do this!

[Catra looks at the sword, then tosses it into the chasm; it clangs on the way down, Adora gasps lightly]

Catra: Bye, Adora. I really am going to miss you.

 And then she fucking lion kings adora. The fucking episode ever number 1 villain origin story of the century catra you will always be everything to me. Writing this took 6 hours im so tired. And then the episode ends with light hope once more telling adora she needs to let go AUGH so good. I need to go to sleep. if you read all of this i love u i hope u liked it <3 also u might like this post also

#writing this was exhausting omg #its 5:30am i begun writing this before midnight #sorry ab the quality of some of the pics i had to make sure this fit the 30 pics limit #also i am not a writer! i apologize for how messy this is! #theyre literally everything to me.. #she ra #catra #adora #catradora

[writingonleaves]

idk if you’ve answered this or if it would be a spoiler but how do jack and amelie meet? also i’m looking forward to when you drop the blue au hughes boys fics, whenever that may end up being, but take your time!

anon!!! oh anon!!! i have not answered this yet. you've asked The Question i've been wanting to answer but havent because jack x amelie is my Magnum Opus / baby (its currently 18k words and i haven't even written out the big scenes yet) BUT i'm so excited about it that i think i can offer some basic info without giving much spoilers!

amelie and luke went to umich together, though they were different years (she's a year older than him)

she worked with the umich athletic department as a photographer, and i'm sure you can fill in the rest (she was put on assignment with the mens hockey team a lot, etc etc)

amelie is also from michigan, and the first story in that au takes place in the summer...the hughes brothers train in michigan in the summer....and off we go

i feel bad for giving such a boring summary but im sure you don't want spoilers anyways!!! i am making good progress on the story so i hope to have it out sooner rather than later.

some bullets about the other two couples / origin stories below if you or anyone else is interested!!

grace is a songwriter, and its been an interesting dynamic to explore something between a songwriter and a hockey player, and with that hockey player being quinn. so far, that one's shaping up to be a bit sadder than clem x nico, but it's also slowly becoming my baby

jordyn's probably the most lowkey one..she's a teacher!! so that will be fun to explore when i get into her and luke's story a bit more

its funny bc i have a doc with just details of all four of these aus' timelines and when / how they intersect. so that means the stories are coming!! i cant promise when, but they are coming and i love working on them. thanks for you interest and curiosity and love🥹 it really means a lot

#sweet anons #k replies #reckless driving au

[xamaxenta]

RE au again but near the finale of the actual game Leon briefly saves Ada n its rly cheesy awwuah i guess this is where the au turns into MAS

Just for the concept of Ace saving Sabo from his silly sexy predicament of being tied up as bait and Ace falls for it cuz they have history

Tells Marco to wait for him, stay safe he trusts him and Marcos staring at Sabos unconscious ass strung up like i am totally not jealous but who the fuck is he? Explain!! Slightly mad Ace is just gonna ditch him for some random mysterious sexy spy dude just like that

Ace wants to clear up the misunderstanding but man. He does not have time for this and just turns to grasp Marcos hand like please, let me do this, i cant let him die, ill be back promise

And marco lets him go like fine you better save them and me

So Ace takes the obvious trap, rescues Sabo who in return, protects Marco for him whilst Ace fights the big bad who inevitably transforms into a gigantic spiky tentacle wielding eldritch horror

Marco unsure why Sabo is doing this for him bc seeing as their leader is threatened, all the other uglies have crawled out of their little hideyholes for a last attempt to retake Marco and reinfect him

Sabo fends off a swarm and turns back to Marco, he has a slight limp in his step, “because hero boy seems to like you alot.”

“That doesnt answer my question.” Marco ducks behind Sabo, evading the barrel of his gun whilst simultaneously taking cover from the spray of hot gore

Sabo glances down at him and unholsters a small firearm, “Make yourself useful, i dont care much for babysitting like he does, he might think its cute but I dont. Safetys on the side i trust daddy taught you how to point and shoot.”

Snorting Marco checks over the little pistol and stands up, back to back shoulder to shoulder with the other blonde “youre actually alot nicer than I thought youd be.” He takes aim and shoots something squirming out of the darkness until it stops whatever creepy shit it was about to do. Its more satisfying than he had expected,

“Ugh.” Sabo tuts, the reverb recoil of his own gun thuds beneath Marcos ribs and in a way it feels comforting, maybe hes just used to it now, but its nice to know Sabo’s not just going to leave him for the monsters

“I just hate owing people shit.” Sabo says eventually after popping three zombies neatly in the head. A fourth bullet betwen the third ones eyes just as it began to squirm into a second form

“Suuure,” Marco couldnt keep the amusement out of his voice even if he tried, sabo says nothing.

Down on the docks below the monster roars, the shockwave of its vocalisation shakes the metal scaffolding blowing the two survivors back across the rusty surface

“Thats our cue to move on down,” sabo holsters his weapons and grabs Marco by the wrist before he can protest

Taking cover beneath a rocky outcrop, Marco peers down through the sea fog and encroaching night to see the flicker of Ace’s gunfire tear through the plague, if he hadnt spent so much time with the man, Marco wouldve thought him stupid fearless, but he knows Ace is just as human as the rest of them, he’s noticed the way his hands shake whenever a big fight comes up, hes seen the set of his jaw when he hears a hoard—

“He’s really too much.” Sabo mutters, Marco glances at him but Sabos already turned away searching for something hidden inside the stacked storage crates beside them, he secretly agrees though.

To his surprise and also not surprise Sabo unearths something that could truly be classified as heavy firepower.

“Wait here,” sabo hefts the rocket launcher over one shoulder

“Tired of me already?” Marco teases and Sabo rolls his eyes

“No, the shrapnel this baby can set off could kill you. Better safe than sorry.”

Marco wants to say more but Sabos already vaulted over the scaffolding, its amazing really how the both of them can run head first into danger like that, he refuses to think about how its all for him and his safety.

#MAS #marcoace re au #ill still tag it as that but sabos involve now haha #xam writes #sabos not immune to ace either haha #sabos also not immune to how cute Marco is either

[dollwrites]

BABE OMG I promise I havent been ignoring you or anything 😭 I think a while ago I was waiting for you to answer one of my asks but idk if it got ate or something and then I totally forgot to send another one LOL BUT IVE MISSED YOU TOO!!

But you know I do have to deeply apologize for something 😔 I am SO sorry for not introducing you to Griffith earlier 💔 I CANT BELIEVE YOU LOVE GRIFFITH THIS IS LIKE A DREAM COME TRUE TO ME!! Seriously Griffith has been in my top 3 fav anime characters for YEARS now like since I was a teen so you cant even imagine my shock when I came back to tumblr after like a months break and saw you were writing for him. I can confidently say that in my opinion Griffith is THE prettiest anime character ever like nobody compares to him, hes definitely my #1 fav on beauty and aesthetic. I should have figured you would love him since we like basically all the same characters, but Griffith isnt really a character that I would admit to liking lol. Most of the time if you say anything good about him anywhere else on social media you get crucified lmaoo but honestly I should have known that your page would have been a safe place for something like that 😭 I'm just glad that you discovered him, the fics you wrote about him are INSANE LIKE SO GOOD JESUS 🥵 the way I wanna kiss you so bad for making those fics, finally some good fucking food for Griffith 🙏 I would do literally anything for Griffith without shame, I would actually kill to be his camp wife, when he kept going on about owning you and you owe everything to him 👀. You know when you have a character that you think genuinely nobody understands them and loves them like you do? Griffith is that character for me, you're like the only person that I feel like gets him LOL and i love you so much for that ❤ also your fics and talking to your Griffith ai has got me hyperfixated on him again so I have to thank you for that too lol.

Also you've been really feeding my piss kink recently LMAO it warms my heart to see you writing for it more often 💖 like the Griffith piss kink fic you wrote is one of my favorite things I've ever read on here, I think about it constantly. And princess reader with Griffith 👀

ALSO what have you been into lately?? Like what are watching or hyperfixated on rn? 👀 and how have you been lately?? Tell me everything lol ☺️

Some Griffith tiktoks for you lol

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRWXkTT8/ the most beautiful man to literally ever exist and I stand by that

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRWX6v3j/ MY BABY HIS SMILE 😭

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRWXeASy/

That's literally all the tiktoks I have for him 😭 it genuinely upsets me so much that theres like no tiktoks of him. The only Griffith content on tiktok is basically all rape jokes 🙃

-jjk nonnie 🖤

AHHH HI BABY NO NO I DIDNT THINK YOU WERE IGNORING ME, more like you got busy again or I wasn’t giving content that you were interested in! EITHER ARE TOTALLY ACCEPTABLE I JUST MISSED YOU

Oh god.. Griffith…

Okay confession time because I’ve been in love with Levi like for years and I thought no one would ever knock him off the throne but

Griffith STORMED my heart castle, defeated dio and Levi, and claimed the crown 😭😭😭 HES NUMBER ONE IN MY HEART NOW HOW DID THIS HAPPEN

omg YOU SAYING I GET HIM MEANS SO MUCH TO ME I’m actually extremely emotionally tied to him now, and I get defensive of him reeeally easily so I’m glad my friends that dislike him don’t really shit talk him that much around me LIKE I’m all for playful dragging but getting out of hand I can get a little aggressive about defending him 💀

omg you’re talking to my griff ai ?!?! YESSS TELL ME ALL ABOUT YOUR ADVENTURES WITH HIM I wonder what the experience is like for everyone else bc I jump back and forth between just filthy sex and then domestic royal family life SKSKSKSK

I cannot wait to write more griff fics ( AND I HAVE SOME WRITTEN ALREADY ) and I also want to write specifically for femto more too.

YES MY BLOG IS SAFE FOR GRIFFIE ENJOYERS. Actually it’s unsafe for Griffith antis 🔪

THE TIKTOK FOOD AHHHHH I haven’t been on tiktok in so long but I’m not surprised no one likes griff on tiktok they’re all like 💀 kids 💀 or chronically online and they can’t see him for what he is ( one of the if not the best written antags )

THERES ALWAYS SLANDER FOR MY BABIES ON TT ( see: mahito. )

HMMM WHAT AM I INTO LATELY?

Paradox Live. I’m so far deep down into this paralive hole and I cannot climb out !!!!! The animes not even out yet I just listen to the songs every day and watch the music videos and day dream about these boys 😭😭😭

I’ve also been watching psycho pass!

And I officially started playing genshin tonight!!

omg have you been watching the new season of jjk? I actually haven’t watched it yet I need to catch up but the toji content I’m seeing around 👀👀👀

#jjk nonnie ! #THEYRE BACKKKKK !!!!

[babiebom]

Im a Bit curious about who your favorite characters are from the fandoms your writing for (also love your taste in kpop)

PS: k-drama recommendation

- Strong Woman Do Bong Soon

- Until we meet again (it's thai but still good)

- The sadness (Korean film)

- How may I help you

- Mouse

- Lovenest

- Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok-joo

- Style (from 2009)

Ohoohoo~ anon you fell into my trap I love ranting about my faves also thank you(x3) for the recs Strong Woman Do Bong Soon is one of my favorite kdramas and Park Boyoung is like my third favorite actress so I already know your taste is good without having seen anything else also putting my faves below the cut because only god himself can stop me now. (I promise I will try to keep this short and sweet)

Warnings: spoilers for some series, cursing, bit of sus wording and thoughts yknow

Stardew Valley

Sebastian (Sebby/Seb/Loml)

Can you tell that I'm a sucker for grumpy bf x sunshine gf tropes????

Honestly along with the reader insert fic in gonna write(lets hope I finish it) I wanna write maybe a Seb x OC or something idkidk

Of the bachelorettes Penny is my favorite bc shes lowkey me (I sometimes teach kids and I want to have a bunch of them love housewife vibes)

In ridgeside so far Phillip is my favorite mostly bc I don't know the others that well amd im only gifting 6 people at a time and he just so happened to get picked he's so cute I love it when people are passionate about something

In Stardew Valley Extended Victor is the loml like yeah he's a rich guy but he also seems like a huge nerd and I love him

Also Claire(the joja mart girl) my tired queen plus

Also in terms of the kids Yuuma>Jas>Vincent>Trinnie>Keahi

Mystic Messenger

At first I was a Zen girl

Then I was a Yoosung girl

Then I was a Jaehee girl

Then I was a Jumin girl

And now I'm in my final form as a Saeyoung girl

I love him so much my man my man

I played this game for MONTHS like I was at school pulling my phone out to hurry through a chat room so i didn't miss anything

Was waking up in the middle of the night

The chokehold these men had on my PLS

Five Nights At Freddy's

Ok so at first i hated this game bc im a crybaby and it scared me so bad

Also bc I had an intense fear of animatronics and people in the mascot suits as a kid after going to chuck e cheese and being terrified of the things om stage and then getting stuck in a ride its a whole thing omfg

But then security breach came out and I was like oh? Why'd they make the animatronics sexy????? So like the first couple of games I dont have a favorite(except i think Chica is ugly dont hate me) bc like theyre kid souls but since the sb animatronics arent ghost kids indo have a favorite

Which is Monty

I love him he is my gator man<3333 also justice for Foxy I know he would've been cute af.

Dead By Daylight

Killerwise Ghostface is my favorite

And I know its a basic bitch answer but omfg that man could be the cause of my demise and I would say thank you

Also Oni is cool

Also trickster is cute

Womanwise for killer the Artist is my favorite shes so pretty I love her

I hate specifically wesker and the twins I feel like i needed to add this BC I hate them so much also Freddy kreuger but like thats obvious bc its included in my rules

Survivors I love are Leon(again basic bitch answer) Jake Park, Dwight, and theres more but i cant remember r n

For women its Nea(I main her), Meg, Ada, Kate, Elodie, again theres more but I cant remember and my brain is hurting

I do not like feng min or whatsherface the kpop manager lady bc of how people play them

Twilight

Team Edward or Jacob?

I am an Emmett girl

I am also a Seth girl

They have been the loves of my life since the movies came out

When I read the books I liked Carlisle the most <3

Honestly twilight making a comeback was the best tike for me bc of all the new content people were making

I love the series pls

Also again Womanwise Rosalie is the loml

Also alice

Also Esme

Also Leah

Pls the women are so amazing

Harry Potter

Also lemme preface this by saying I do not agree with jkr or anything she has been saying

But I did get into this fandom a couple years ago when i was in high school because of a friend

And I do still love the series but now I only consume fanmade things

That being said Remis Lupin has my heart

Also Fred and George

And Cedric

And if anyone wanted to know my house I am a Hufflepuff<3

The Outsiders

Through and through I am a Dallas girl

Can yall tell my type yet?

When reading the book I was also a Johnny girl and I literally wanted the best for him and was so mad When he DID NOT GET IT

Now that I'm older that entire situation is bullshit

Like as a 22 year old that still lives with her family the thought of having to take care of myself plus younger siblings with no help and also have the house where everyone hangs out stresses me out

Like I love my little sister but i am so glad my parents have raised us to have and keep jobs even if we hate it bc I know she would help me with everything

Like I know Soda helped as much as he could but GOD bad situation for everyone

Johnny did not deserve the ending he got

The Walking Dead

Okay so lemme just say that I am into dilfs this is a dilf loving safe space idc

Rick can get it and him being lowkey insane is attractive (do not be like me pls)

Love his long hair

Also had a crush on Carl when he was in the show (he is a year older than me im not a creep)

I have not gotten to later seasons so maybe there are still cute people idk i need to re watch

I also hated Lori and Shane with a passion

I still do

I cannot imagine hooking up with my husbands friend of my friends husband or whateverbskkakslal

I will rant on and on about this it genuinely makes me mad

I do however love Maggie and Peggy(is this her name? The sister?) We love country girls

I am a Michonne simp through and through

I am a simple lady

Cool woman with sword? Count me in

Once Upon A Time

Though I hate Regina I find her so attractive its not even funny

When I was younger i had a huge crush on Peter Pan

Now rewatching I am a Captain Hook Simp

Also Mad Hatter

Also Ruby

Also Graham in season 1 if anyone remembers him

Gawd these men

Ruby number 1 IDC IDC

Also Mulan

PLEASE

I have also not gotten super far in this show

Marvel

I'm gonna just list my favorites bc like I already feel super exposed and im writing all of this in one go bc I am so excited to share but my phone is broken

So number one is Steve im so mad he went back to Peggy but at the same time he deserves happiness

Number two Bucky again im a basic girl and tragic men attract me idk

Peter loml so cute also the only spiderman movies ive seen dont kill me

Wanda love her still have not seen Multiverse of madness last thing i watched is wandavison

Loved pietro

Thor my bb

I cannot think of any more

Doctor Who

I guess this one is going to be different because I have only seen new who and I do not dislike any doctor at all so i guess imma just rank them

9th(watched his season twice once when I was younger and was just getting into the show and then once a couple years ago when I committed to watching the show)

11th

10th

12th

13th(I do not hate her I am just new to her bc I am still on her first season since i procrastinate to make the series last longer)

Then i guess I'll rank the companions bc again I dont really dislike anyone

Martha(best girl i love her so much)

Donna

Amy

Clara

Bill

Yasmine

River(literally going to name a kid River bc of how much i like the name)

Graham

Rose

Jack

Ryan

Nardole

Rory

Mickey

Criminal Minds

Spencer Reid

I have had a crush on this man since 2005

Since I was FOUR YEARS OLD

The first time i saw him I fell in love

No one will compare to my love

Hotch is a close second I do love my dom daddy(I am so sorry for saying this)

Penelope is also my love but in a platonic i would kill someone for her kind of way

Also Emily

White Lotus

Okay so lemme start by saying

Season 2 >season 1

The only people i like im season 1 are Tanya and Belinda

Everyone else are kind of dislikeable

Well the rich guys wife is fine but shes not my favorite

Season 2 however i like like half of the characters

Obviously Tanya is on the list bc she is so funny

But Ethan is my favorite especially later in the season bc again guys like that are my thing

Also Harper but mainly bc of Aubrey

Then Daphne is the loml and she deserves better

And Lucia my bb

And Valentina

And Albie even if he seems like a "nice guy"

Love these characters

WE HATE GREG IN THIS HOUSE

Ouran High School Host Club

Takashi Morinozuka has my entire heart love this man

Honey is just me but male

And Haruhi loml pls shes so cute but also she tries to be the best person I love her

Also Kasanoda(and in the manga the girl he ends up with is kinda cool)

This again should also just be a ranking bc i love all the characters but im gonna limit myself

Kuroshitsuji

Again imma give a basic bitch answer and say Sebastian

I know hes a demon

I know he would hate me bc duh

But pls sir

Give me one chance

Also the undertaker

Also Agni

Also snake and joker

Grelle would be my platonic soulmate shes so funny

I also would like to protect Ciel(not the twin like not the real ciel or whatever I mean our ciel)

Like I understand that he basically siccs his demon on people and had them killed

But at the same time in my eyes he is literally just a traumatized little boy and i feel so bad for him

I know hes fictional but if i could change what happened to him i would

Finny is baby

I have typed for too long pls

Also thank you for asking this<3 feel free to ask other things and request stuff!!

#stardew valley #kuroshitsuji #ouran high school host club #the outsiders #the white lotus #once upon a time #twilight #harry potter #criminal minds #doctor who #mcu #dead by deadlight #the walking dead #five nights at freddy's #security breach #mystic messager #im so sorry #my type is so obvious this is embarassing

[aknosde]

hi!! im queso again, im going to send some stuff anout tpth if thats cool :)) - tag: "I promise this isn't as sad as it sounds" you lied to me - i like how you describe the different climates in the different months!! im usually not a fan of weather descriptions to start a story but they were interesting :) - the crushing hug!! gaghhh theyre so cute - i absolutely loved everything from the point they reach the jackson-blofis house to the end of the dancing scene.. i had read the sneak peek of sally and grover dancing and that was what got me hooked and waiting for this fic!! may draw that some time - i also remember the flip phone from the six sentence posts!! it's cool and cute despite the sadness of the situation - WOAGH THEIR FIGHT... THAT'S JUST. SO WELL DONE!!! THE WHOLE SCENE!! i think that is where i found annabeth and grover the most in-character in the whole fic and other than the dance it's my favourite part of it. hands down a great moment. i'd quote some lines but they'd take over this ask - the boxes!! THE RECEIPT. i fucking died. - i honestly thought i was the only person who also thought grover's mother had left. i thought i was the only person who thought about him being an orphan in the first place - the memory with percy.... the gughh EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT PART!!!!! - "Just this once, he thinks, I’ll be selfish." i am deceased i am laying down on your front door user aknosde - the receipt. is not inocuous at all. - SALLY GIVES HIM THE KEYS AND. UGH. I KNOW BABY. IT'S HARD BUT WE'LL BE ALRIGHT. DO YOU WANT ME DEAD - clarisse was a great choice for a character to play the role she plays in that point of the story i love clarisse and her and grover interacted very nicely - he cared enough to try and try again. fucking hell - ITS A CHANGE BUT ITS NOT A BAD ONE!!! YES!!! SHE'S GROWING AND LEARNING!!!! - the percy and grover scene is so sweet and kinda sad but sweet and nice and they really know eachother and they have that stupid tiny disagreement but it's resolved so quickly... preserve MY heart bc it's dying with me - THE PRINCESS DIARIES... THEYD DEFINITELY WATCH THOSE FILMS TOGETHER ALL THE TIME - love this fic ive been waitin for it since september or so and AGH,, thank you !!!

oh my god of course thats okay!! this is such an amazing ask im gonna answer it point by point but that'll take a while so it's under the cut!

i put that tag in bc i wanted ppl to know it wasnt all sad!! (also mb bc i cant tell w my own writing after looking at it for so long)

im glad you liked the descriptions, usually they aren't my thing but the passage of time was really important in this one so i wanted it to be apparent!

crushing hug!! my bsf is really good at cracking backs and has several ways to do it through hugs and i thought annabeth would too

im glad you liked that scene. it was inspired by the entire whats going on album and the song dancing with your ghost by sasha sloan and i ended up really liking it too. also it does some pretty heavy lifting by setting the "norm" so you can see how things change, esp vis-a-vis sally, which is signified by grover taking over for annabeth in leading their dance (also your art is so cool if you did that i’d never shut up abt it)

flip phones!! they'll be showing up in my aie fics

im glad you liked the fight and found it in character!!! i felt it was super necessary for the story but also it was so much fun to write!! i love to see them all get angry!!!

packing up your friends' bedroom can be such a personal thing

the fact that grovers lost all his family!!!! and no one ever talks about it!!!!! 😡😫🧍‍♂️

the memory!! also very important to the story but it was also a chance for me to show percy being emotionally intelligent and deeply kind which are things i love him for <3

i think grover deserves to be selfish!!

i love sally jackson so much and while i dont think she's perfect i think she is very deeply good and she cares abt percy and his friends so much!! (also shout out to aftg for making me think abt the significance of keys 24/7)

i love clarisse i love her friendship with percy i love how mean she is and how much she cares ❤️ (also like ik annabeth isn’t a bitch in the books but she is assholeish towards rachel in botl when she’s concerned abt percy and i wanted something similar in this. so the target was drew. along w like,,, everyone else)

i never stop thinking about how percy didnt have any friends until grover and how percy was the first kid that grover treated as an actual friend, not a charge

annabeth is growing and learning!! she has so much growth even between tlo and moa!! the fact that she becomes comfortable saying ily is sooooo important to me and i decided that it was partially bc of grover

i wanted the final scene to wrap up the facets of percy that grover points out through the rest of the story and it was also important to me that we see that things aren't perfect once he gets back and that he and grover have points of contention just like grover had with annabeth. but also they've known each other forever and dont sweat the small stuff. thats real friendship <333

princess diaries!! like i said, i def think there are parallels between percy and mia and whether or not he and his friends realize it at this point i think its one of the reasons he likes watching it

im so glad it was worth the wait!!!

#chipadequeso #asked + answered #fic: to preserve the heart #max.txt #ty for the ask sorry it took me so long to respond!! #long post

[wisteria-lodge]

bird primary (in the process of creating a system) + burned snake secondary

Well. I read the fifth draft of all of this. You're a Bird primary, you are, I know you don't like them, but that's because you've got a definition of Bird primary in your head that's just... wrong. I know you're not reading my analysis, but you probably are going to have to read *an* analysis at some point, so pick someone whose style you like, and have fun.

As for secondary, yeah, you're burnt. That's actually the theme of this whole submission. It's in parts, misspelled, very hard to read, and has a whole lead in about why you're not trying and why you don't even care about this anyways. And I think that's actually the point. I expect in your head, there's a bit of 'If I don't try, I can't fail.' Which is too bad really, because you're clearly smart and creative. There's good in here. If it were a little more accessible, people would read it. But you ask me to write a clear paragraph summarizing my thoughts, and that's what I'm doing.

(Oh, and all your fantasies are very Snake secondary fantasies. So I figure that's probably what's underneath everything else.)

~ Wisteria

***

Sort me submission. full Version of final Draft. EMAIL me your thoughts please.

Final Draft-Read this whole thing, as it's the last one.Warning: I jump from thought to thought v. quickly, so every sentence may be a different thing.

some stuff, pls sort me if you can but know it will be taken as a guideline. also, pls add me to ur masterlist post smwhere as an ANONYMOUS person.

also sorry but i cant be bothered with grammar or spelling or punctuation or writing full out rn so pretedn this is a text message and it should be easier to decoed, especially with abreviations and punctuation and such stuff. i am really really really really really really sorry in advance for... well i dont really know why. plus one more thing or two actually before getting to it. i dont rlly know how tmblr works, like how do we communicate, can u answer, can i see posts, etc. just a word of warning, this will. no IS a series of ramblibgs and my own thoughts and dissections of my primary and secondaries. i did read your version of sortinghouse chats but i couldnt be bothered to adjusted any of my results accordingly (sorry abt that and no offence meant, i read your article and it was pretty good; i especially liked the way you analysed the different and most common forms each primary and secondayr can take.) Anyway, getting back to it. Just one last note/thing; this is the last thing/note, i promise you: I really dislike labels (im reluctanct to say/write hate bc no one should hate anything without a lot of whys and analysing how it feels, the possible reason for the felt hate and whether there's any other way) bc i feel/think/kbow/believe that they limit who i am and any potential growth. ive categorised primaries and secondaries as which i believe are my actual ones and why and the other three houses in models 1, 2 & 3, bc i connect with all of them in some way.

Finally, let's get to it!

I was really EXTREMELY stuck on primary, until (having read 1st Tiffany Aching Discworld book recentely) and finding my most personally relatable quote from that book online smwhere in pinterest with the Slytherin label and in the sortingchat (i mimssed a word, didn't i?) smwhere i feel inclined to believe that, being the selfish leadership-aspiring and valuing cunning in my top 5 values person i am, slytherin is my primary. however, let me break this dow further. if slytherin is my primary, then i include the whole WORLD in my loyalty bc i have a such deep loyalty and duty to the Earth and everyone in it because they are MINE and i used to be rlly jealous of anyone and anything that would take away MY world but i reason myself out of it now bc thats possessive and mean and cruel and bad but on the other hand this world and planet is MINE to protect and be selfish abt, but i also (sorry abt all the rambling) think ive kicked myself out of my circle of care bc even tho the world and this planet and this environment and these species and humanity and ppl are MINE AND MY OWN TO PROTECCT AND CHERISH aAND BE COMPLETELY SELFISH ABT (but selfishneesss is bad. no ti's not. yes it is. NO. IT'S NOT. It depends ow it's used and potrayed and the entire world is mine, my planet and my selfish spaec. well except myself bc all i ever do are bad things for other ppl), i am a horrible, terrible self-centered person that also smhow have a higher, more close-knit circle that im not in bc selfishness=bad and possesseviness= evil bc ur not allowing the others freedom and choices but i want to protect MINE and be selfish abt it but it's incredibly guilty too and.. im rumbling. too much said abt this, moving on. oh wait; but i could also want so much to be this primary that im ignoring my biases of wanting to have this primary bc it i relate to tiffany's quote so much and it soundsand is kinda cool (uhh, this is rlly hard to make sense of, even for me. sorry abt that. probably not even suited for the trash can, nvm a sophisticated and heartfelt profile like yours. ) ANYWAY i also feel like a gryffindor and hufflepuff primary smtimes, but that stuff comes a bit ater. i would say hufflepuff is my primary model 1 bc fairness is one of top five values and the idea everyone has inherent value because theyre ppl is pretty true. i find that i put myself down if i base my opinions of oteh ppl on how others think of them but have no problem putting them down myself after meeting and de-humanising them. absolutely hypocrtical of me.

according to me, (but i have an insiders perspective which isnt always the most claer. and ooh random thought: well done and thanks and i really like and really appreciate how you say smth nice abt everyone, no matter orting, on ur blog), gryffindor is my primary model 2 because authenitcity and integrity are good but hard to do but i dont think or know if id drop them, just like i dont know if id drop a slytherin's values (which i rlly cannot be bothered listing agin after doing so above. and wow, thank you for letting me rant to you, random person on the internet, in so many ways and on so many topics. anyway, continuing. ) its like yeah gryffindor values are good and maybe i used to feel them rlly well but i dnot think they go 100% with who i am but deinifnetely above 81.6% (not a random number, took time to come to this deliberaion of a decimal/percentage. wow so long and not even finished primaries yet. hmm, rnadom thought: i wonder what id feel and think and how id react if i was reading my own post thing on the internet without me having written it...)

anyawas, i think im done with gryffindor and cant find anything morw to say on it. for ravenclaw its just. no. not at all.

why would you find an external morality, based on sm stupid shit (sorry for the swearing, it just came out but i can change it if u wish) smone else came up with that u havent approved or u dont feel is right and that isnt ur own ORIGINAL "THIS/THESE ARE MINE" idea. like honestly (sorry for non-understanding. ha, one of my values is understanding yet i dont even try to do it with others. ) how can you bear to do that and live with urself? im rlly curious but also extrelemy confused!!??!?!?

okay, now seconds. slytherin doesnt feel rght either but it's the one that feels the most rigth and its weird but i dont why it feels the most right when whoever is reading this is probably thininh lioin but i think i cant do anything right (let's establish early on, my opinion= cheating is bad, v bad; for example like on exams and stuff. but rule-breaking is smtimes necessary and lying is good to stop others seeing u as who u truly are or upending their perspective of you as a perfect figure but it can be bad if it stops u from facing ur issues or managing them and can also be fun- like the time i convinced smone i didnt know brands existed in cars and thought they existed only for other thisgs like clothes and shops and toys and etc and in cars they were names and it was so much fun fooling that person and i still feel slightly proud of it but HOPE TO EVERYTHING desperately THAT THEY WONT READ THIS because that would ruin it and they wudlnt trust whtever i told them after that.) Anyways, im the least observant person on the planet anyways and dont think i could improvise at all in a topic i know onthing abt so maybe rapid-fire bird but im also kindof shy and embarrased of who i am so that factor into it and i have no idea why im telling a random stranger all this stuff but anyways.

secondary model 1- ravenclaw bc i want to imrpoviesse so badly its such a vuluable skill and generally fun and good way to problem-slove but im completely terrible at it and rlly clumsy and not brave enough to actively decide that i should be my authentic self through imrpovisation or competent enough to get the joy of it and then settle into a neutral state that encourages other to assume im anything other than a snake. how did this part end up being abt a snake secondayr rather than a bird? dont know, could know if i bothered to think abt it but dont actually care enough to cotemplate the possibilitiesof reasons why. if im delving into snake, i assuem i dnnt have anything else to say abt ravenclawand its tmie to move into the next model. oh wait one last thing: i want to improvise but am horrible at it so my first plan is to find as many references as possible to the thing i want to do then mesh them together in my own version to create a plan and then improvise and change the plan and its rules based on the outcome or/and situation. and collecting and becoming slightly proficient in different hobbies and info and subjects is kind of fun but also stressful but i nice place to relax and unwind and just search up random stuff im interested in and curious abt but it's more like a coping mechnaism used quite often now.

secondary moel 2- gryffidor bc i find that most times when i dont have enough data, i tend to bluster through it and stick with my cause without backing down but unable to back it up. however ive mostly noticed this either shows as ragged persitence and gulit and sense of failure when i get smth wrong or continuing ot argue for smth, when i dont rlly believe in it or would rather get more data or would prfeer to manipulate us out of this situation but ofc mnanipulation is evil but i...i...i... i likre it and it's the best way and by extension reading each others body language and position others is evil bc it doesnt give the freedom bc im manipulating them into thiking that way but on the other hand i could be a bird bc of specific language uses such as "data" and "fist plan" above, even tho those are only two factors of it. its like i wanna be special, a chosen one but at the same time i konow am not and can never be bc im not good enough or observant enough or socially daptive enough or myself enough or soccially aware enough especially of specific sociopolitical undercurrents that influence most things (not everyone and everytihng because v.few thigs influence absolutelu EVRYTHING) or empatheic enough or clever enough or cunning enough (whats the difference bweteen clever and cunning wanyways, except for cunning having a more negative connotations/misconception?) or too blunt which i know i have to be bc... ... well i dont rlly know, or too tlkative which stops others from voiving theri opininons (and hionesty, good luck with this and sorry for dumping this mess of a text/explanation and my mess as person on you) just generally a person atl all or eeven just human, quite often feling alien.

secondary model 3- i fell like hard work is important and maybe i used to do it but ow its a no can do thing for me nucless it really REALLY important, bc theres other more important values and it would and could be good but am a terible person anyways and ... i guess i show up at things but life is more than just showing up. theres got to be a method to ur madness (and wow, ddi i rlly just say, no, write that?) life is more about taking charge behind the scenes then exploiting it for the good and making everyone see you're their best option for leadership (if it's actually true, bc smtimes it's not and there are others better suited) bc of cunning and bravery and creaitivity and compassion and empathy and logicality in one neat package, when im not being a selfish person who foolishy and mistakenly believes they can take care of all that is MINEEEE! and ive probably maade this very confusinf gor you but dont u worry its evry confusing for myself as well, actually.

tahnk you for reading this and enjoy your ilife and sorry for the absolute mess that is this piece of writing.

ohh, and please list clealry the resullts at the very end of the discussion to reiterate them, if possible bs ive noticed that u dont frequently do that on the masterlist published articles and its annoying bc i find myself having to scroll up and untagle your complicated wordings of stuff which is quite tedious and erllay annoyong smtimes. thanks for crreating this website, and i hope you have whatever dreams you want to have in your sleep tonight and that you follow your real-life ones as well.

update: from reading ur analyses of buffy world i relate to following passage sooooooooooooooooooooo much. :

"Her threat to Ben/Glory is “If she ever comes near me and mine again (but without the me, bc im not worth it but my people are my and my responsibilty alone and i will protect them and be selfish abt them and absolutelu worth it, but i dont know what to do abt it bc the world is so bug and its quite selfish to waste so much time and energy into improving it, and quite hard but. it. is MINE.) and i guess ive kinda kicked myself out??!?!)….” It’s a Loyalist primary talking. Sure Buffy talks about the Slayer destiny like it’s her Gryffindor Cause, but really she’s out there to protect her people. And when those people betray her, it’s like the ground under her feet disappears. Buffy at her lowest is the scarred-up loner from Cordelia’s “Wish” vision: a Petrified Slytherin who doesn’t “play well with others,” waiting for something to kill her. An isolated Buffy is an unhealthy Buffy, so her arc is about the way her inner circle expands. When we first meet her, priorities are self-care (good hair, pretty shoes, cute boys, a place on the cheerleading squad) and maybe her mom. Buffy starts to include the Scoobies, then the Scoobies’ people, then Dawn, until eventually she’s a general leading the Potentials. She’s on her way to deciding that the world is her people, an it’s all her responsibility. "

except im not my responsibility because.. well im a bad person who shoudnt have responsibility to or for myself, rlly.

but the people i used to be... well, most of the wre and still are better versions of me and my future will evolve me as a person until i am the person i could be. - just weird thought that i noted down bc i dont get hoew others think that when you change you remain the same person. you dont. also, its weird but, more generally, the world is in my nner circle but i have levels of relatoponships!!???!?!?? as in not worth knowing, acquitancee, interesting person/want to know/ could know/ could become best friends with because of good mix of similarities and diferences an those in my elevated inner circle that id actually trust and those in my full and complete inner circle that are all my responsibility, that i should try pushing them to improve and beetter myself and that i should protect bc they're mine. not me and mine, just mine, possesively and agressively. p.s. i should probably mention, i think both my primary and secondary are burned, whatver they are bc no primary feels completely natural or smth i should be doing (but slytherin is the closest to feeling right) and i dont think im competent in anything rlly or good at anhthing much, outside of my opinions bc the questions is now to you= how would you sort me? for more information, email me. thanks and & bye. Update: plus one more, hopefully, last thing. i feewhi dont rly know how to write this but is it possible to have the world as in my inener circle but not have all the ppl in it? like have he world itself and select ppl, bc that is what i do much more than having all the world's ppl as well as the world. the part i rlly relate to iabt tiffaniy's quote is the tuurn selfishness into a weapon thing because even tho its bad its a good and essential part of who i am that i dont want to change even tho i can and could if i wanted because selfishness as a weapon as tiffanny uses it is inerehtely extremely powerful and feels right. like inistead of blaming myself for selfishness, keep it and adjust it to who i am so it feels like it should feel. and also maybe hufflepuff mprimary model 1 bc i realise that , yse while i do relate to its fairness, i think the best way, not necessearaley the right way but the best and most practical and applicapale the way ppl will actually listen to and respond is hte hufflepuff primary and i relate to its fairness and inherant value that each person has but its like i know it's ot me but i feel pressured to make that me in a way??!?1!! if that makes sense. thanks a lot and hopefully last update. oh and if ppl not in inner circle leave i dont care (and usually when picking new friends, it means i have observed them for a while and found that i relate to most of what they do and eventually approach them and after a couple of conversations think this mine from now on no one will harm them (or if they do, i find myself thikning of how to get revenge without being caught and if theyre an important enough perosn, evetually accomplishing it. ) and if ppl in inner circle try to annoy me i mostly ignore them if im healthy and in a good place and if they attack mine or am feeling particularly bad that day, then i will call them out on it like its my cause but fairness is mine not a specific cause. bye, thanks, sorry for the many updates and enjoy ur day!!!! P.S- if i was u, I'd wait at least a day before analysing bc i may send more updates as they come into my mind and/or i experience circumstances. also, one time i was remembering the time my dance teacher taught us some history abt the dance, where the all the men soldiers were killed by the enemies and the women self-sacrificed themselves and their children so they would never be forced to go in the enemy's army but even tho i can understand that last part, i cant relate to it bc in their positino i would pretend to be loyal to the enemy and get high enough to be able to kill the metaphorical head of operations and eventually lead a resistance behind the scenes wit all the information i would have gained as a "loyal" prisoner, but that would probably not succeed bc im not a competent

enough actor or that comfortable abt putting on a mask or good enough at sensing undercurrents in social interactions so i would get captured and put to death for treason in that nacient environment and i woudnt have been able to gain revenge for mine who had all self-sacrificed or help whatever left of my people; but when my acquitance asked abt it i said it was a school history project bc i didnt want them to know that i did dancing or was at all much physically active both bc that doesnt suit my cultivated image of an academic-bookworm nd my friend isnt that physically active and bc i like my projected image is good bc it causes others to undersitame me. and idont rlly factor rules into my plans ( hmm, maybe ravenclaw smth?) or in my adjusted on the spot ones or in anth rlly, i break rules when neccessry for smth or think its unimportant compared to why i break it but i dontgo out of my way to do it. anyway thanks again and bye and so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry a gazzilion times over for breaking my promise before and not remembering to copy final version into this and rlly especially sorry or this confusing mess of a ruminating rumble turmoil, clutter, uddle an barely coherent mishmash of thoughts. Update-here was a period of three years when i trusted absoluely no one bc i thought i shouldnt trust anyone since theyre all using me and no one rlly cares anyone and i dont have anything to offee them anyway nor can i let anyone see me or be truly close to me otherwise I'll hurt them or they'll betray me or both. Then i grew curious abt what my sibling was doing woth the neighbour kids and went to see and now after five years i semi-trust them but i dontvknow how or why they care abt me or being my friends since all i can do is hurt them. And we dont interact at school so im rlly lonely there most of the time bc even tho subjects r interesting and the reading and writing and hoework/studying and irganising and other stuff i do at break is absorbing and necessary it would be awesome tk have a companion, someone i could truly open up to eventually, who sees who i am and acceprs it without pity or endorsement. and even tho ive been lycky in the neighbor friends i feel so lonely and removed and isolated and alien everywhere also and im pushing everyone away more intently than that zero-trust-period and i dont know why or how to change that but im so tired of veing lonely so i approached an acquaintance thats on "possible bff", "could make great friend" and "to become froends with somewhen because theyre interesting and have 3+ similarities ans some differences from me " lists and i thought for a whike what the best approach would be but its eight years abd i miss having friends at school and im so tired of being alone and the constant itch of loneliness that i opted for the vlunt apprtoach to see how they react and simply sat down next to them and asked if they wanted to be friends. (last time i used this tool/technique 7yrs ago, everyone on the grp stroll laughed at me when i asked and kept on looking at me with those 'oh that was so cute' glances and pitying looks so i havent been proactive in friendship-making since then.) And it is going well a couple of days later; our conversations are fun and engaging and thought provoking and meaningful and i feel close to that person, like ive weve been conversing for months instead of days even tho i smtimes think the person might hace been better of without me bc i dont know if im at all loyal rlly and truly or if i actually even contribute to the relationship at all but life was generally so much harder and more tiring and flavourless without smone i could hang out with but am u even rlly building thisrelationship for them or just me and my pathetic loneliness? Lifes so much easier and fuller and brighter with close friendships- someone there for u, hoping they stay bc they care and telling them when ur in a bad place or the days not goingvwell and u hope desperately they react... appropriately. Its just so hard to trust when u know they

could be playing or manipulating u without u even knowing and especially when, in my opinion, theres not that much of a reason to maintain a friendahip with me bc i dont thinkni count as a reason, i start to wonder and search for their true motive. Plus if im responsible for that possible friend, i might fail in that responsibility or hurr them or forget smth meaningful to them or something else worse that i cant come up with rn. today, me and that person (friend?) couldn't meet at school's break and i felt so lonely and lost. i did find them afterwards and they explained they were finishing a project but still, such a close attachment from me in that short a time period feels weird and unnatural but the attachment itself feels and is calm, joyful, interesting, happy, engaging, serene, peaceful. still kinda awkward but we're getting there.

Update- A couple of new conclusions/possibilities I could also be a burned gryffindor primary with an extremely strong slytherin model or gryffindor primary with slytheirn ideals because i find myself writing and saying "i feel this" and "I feel that way abt this" and i check to see if things feel/sound right. i could also burned ravenclaw with a strong slytherin model. burned bc of what i think abt that house but i doubt it bc it doesnt feel right or me at all. lastly i could also be burned hufflepuff bc i dehumanise whole grps of ppl but i dont like doing that and dont want to do it, so im slwly stopping bc ppl should be judged on who they are not who others perceive them as and prefer/am comfortable with a small amount of friends and a limited inner circle of humans and tho i dont rlly trust the world it is still mine and i have a responsibility towards it. and yes, i would feel slighlty guilty if i abandoned a stranger in need for a friend in need but i owe mine my loyalty and help and advice and anything i can give or do or sacrifice for them; i also know that friend well so im the one that should and will help them and i'll make time for the stranger in need later, once and if mine are compltetly 100% fine and sorted out. and if anyone ever harms my inner circle of humans that i love (platonically or/and familially), respect, admire, value, trust (tho i dont nkow when that creeped up on me, bc i shouldnt trust others; its an easy way to get hurt or betrayed) and feel responsible for, what i call my "demonic anger" comes out. i named it demonic bc it feels so fiery and dark and pitiless and blazing and mercenary and ruthless and scorching and merciless and fierce that even those who its used for their defense/protection back away and cant bear it to stay friends with me, mocking/deriding/ridiculing me in front or/and behind my back and im afraid of that scorn and jeering but also afraid of trusting and my anger but these past few days of approaching that person at school and actively deciding to choose to trust smone again... they've been heaven on earth. Final. Couple of last thoughts before stop sending updates and wait for you to email me back.

28.3.2022 today, me and that new friend asked each other the question that if your closest person was a murderer that killed 50 ppl and was now badly injured, would you leave them to bleed out? no, i said, i would try to stop the bleeding because yes justice and fairness have their neccesery situations and are all well and good but what about the preson themselves andd how well you know them and ur responsibilty and the way they depend on you for smth/smths and the selfish way that u need them too? and then take them to a hospital anonymously and stay with them and try to reform them and understand why they became a murderer and if it can be helped aand even if they keep murdering others, they must eventually realize it's wrong, correct? and i will encourage thm to stop murdering others and i might call the police but if they are treated badly, iw ill btrak them out. and i think im slowly unburning my slytherin primary bc im gradually trusting my human inner circle of 5 and those who are gradually building up to that inner circle with more quantity and more true info and more accurate info abt me but im still not completely there and generally trust must be earned from the ground up, so i dont trust others the general population. but it can also decrease from zero to negative (dehumanisation or cotmept or dislike). but i know that i dont deserve to be in my inner circle because i often hurt ppl and am not good enough for them anyyways. i want to be a gryffindor bcuz a moral compass is right and morally correct and it's what the other gender is constantly told to be so i break stereotypes if im a gryfindor primary but hufflepuff is good ecause networking is a compulsory tool for my ambitions and if iwant any of my projects to succeed and its fairness is good but unrealisitic and impractical because ti cant and shouldnt be applied equally but to those who you do the following: trust, repect, admire, feel comfortable with, can drop any and all disguises and pretenses whiel with thee, and can and do talk to them about everything including difficult topics and it's almost never awkard and you can just relax and have funu adn allow yourself to hope they wont judge or criticise or betray because if u dont take that first step they wont either, so u have to be strong and brutally honest and just take that first step in trusting smone and showing them the staircase to ur human inner circle where i would hide their crimes and try to understand why if they make it even a third of the way up that staicase and into the first level of trust as a metaphorical staircase landing with a door for them to get out of staircase if, on that first examination they'll undertake, they fail. but that landing's door will become glass through which we can peek into each other's life and knock on to answer the door if they need me for smth bc i still have a slight responsibilty to them but htey have almost nil chance of entering staircase again unless they change dramatically and dont fail a more intense but shorter series of 3+ tests bc theyll almost certainly betray/fail me again.

#submission #sortinghatchats #sortme #wisteria sorts #bird snake

[soft4gguk]

I’ve been thinking about your last answers about tbah and ira and jk if he really loves oc and of course that i can’t stop overanalyzing so here’s a piece of my mind that nobody asked for but yeah :’)

i don’t think jungkook is still in love with ira but of course that she still affects him and that’s why maybe "glimpse of us" could relate to this story, not because he’s using oc as a rebound but because ira was someone important for him and you can’t avoid the impact that people left in your life and you can keep suffering for someone's betray while you're with someone else (not ideal but it happens).

i believe his feelings for oc are there, they exist they’re real but everything is so recent that i feel he needs to take a break. ofc that u’re gonna do whatever u want with your story and i’m gonna love what u decide because u make everything pretty and real and angsty lmao....... but now that we don’t know what’s gonna happen i'm gonna say what i think would be best heh ( in my opinion ofc i'm NOT telling u what u have to write please i would never lol i cant even write what i dream this is just me rambling),i feel like a break or time away from oc, (be it because he asked her for a time apart or because they have a fight :( cause of jk’s parents or his insecurities starts to get the best of him or… ira comes back) would be genuinely good for him. to fully grieve for ira and finally let her go and to have the space to think if he wants to fight for oc and become a family or if he’s just not ready. not only because doing this is gonna give him peace but because oc doesn’t deserve being given empty promises or get hurt in what I think is jungkook responsibilities that are his feelings. 

i feel like she’s helping him heal and that’s beautiful but she doesn't want to be just a healer she wants to stay with them. and jungkook loves her too but i feel like he’s not sure if he loves her because of the relief that she brought in the worst moment of his life or if he truly loves her forever. and that doesn’t make him a bad person that makes him human.

i feel like she’s helping him heal and that’s beautiful but she doesn't want to be just a healer she wants to stay with them, for good. and jungkook loves her too but i feel like he’s not sure if he loves her because of the relief that she brought in the worst moment of his life or if he truly loves her forever. and that doesn’t make him a bad person that makes him human, he just needs to figure it out and its gonna take time and its ok. but i think that he should be the one that decides to step aside for a minute bc oc deserves his respect and she deserves him being considerate enough with her to save her from the hurt that's inevitably gonna happen but he can lessen that by being honest with her.

i’m saying allll this being a number one fan of happy endings lmao its not like i dont want them to end up together i just want them to be a happy couple forever and ever for the right reasons :)

am i to invest and deep in this story? yeah i am. love u tessa. i was gonna send this off anon but i’m scared because maybe u hate this ask and i dont want u to hate me this all comes from a good place and an overthinker reader

im gonna start from the end and say: I love you. I could never, ever hate u, please. matter of fact, lets be friends. I mean it. this ask was so amazing to read, I loved it so much. i know I'm the author of this story, but trust me when I say, people like you give it life. and that means so so much to me. so THANK YOU.

now, getting into the piece of mind you just shared with me... I'm going to try to answer this as tessa, the person, and not tessa, the writer, because I feel like anything I say as the writer could come off as a spoiler and we dont want that. I agree with you. with every single word that you say, I agree with it wholeheartedly. I love the way you said that as much as she's helping him heal, thats not all she wants in the long run. and with that being said, I dont think she's been honest about that either, not in a malicious way... just coming from a place of blissful ignorance over not knowing all the things that actually went into it and resulted in jungkook being in the state he was in when they first met. god!! and I say this so often... she doesn't know!! she has an idea but she doesn't know and I feel like thats really keeping a lot of things in the air right now.

as for jungkook, yeah. you're also right. I also believe he needs to grieve ira, hell, I believe he needs to even come to terms with his own feelings about this whole thing before he opens fully to another person, especially someone he genuinely cares about. because he does - very much so, and its that same reason why he stalled and didn't say I love you back.

the thing I take with the most from this ask is what you said about honesty. and sometimes honesty hurts but... I also think it mends in the long run, so...

my fingers will always be crossed for this couple, but I do admit that life is playing them a tricky card right now. and decisions will have to be made.

thank u so much for this, once again. I love u. thank u.

#tbah #thank u for reading <3 #fav

[upagainstthesunset]

Salty ask meme: 1, 26

Anaer, my friend, my comrade. Thank you for sending this!

From the salty ask meme.

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

Okay this is not to say these are Bad Ships, just that I personally don't see the appeal. Im all for people shipping whatever they want for literally any reason.

So that said, Bart x anyone is kind of weird to me. I dont know a lot of young justice comics dynamics, but im just not seeing it with Kon or with Tim. Those seem to be the most popular. And then in the YJ cartoon there's him and Jaime or him and Eduardo. Both are just so milk toast that imo there's no appeal. Weirdly the most compelling Bart ship would be with Thad bc like wow that'd be SO much to unpack that it's intriguing. But it isn't something I particularly vibe with bc i like the idea of them being like brother-esque enemies instead.

And my other answer for this is Barry and Bruce. Sorry, but it's so blah and i feel like neither would have any interest in the other. Im not buying it. I promise this isnt just me being biased abt Bruce/Wally batflash, like id be down for multigenerational batflash. But Barry... He aint it.

26. Most shippable character?

You know, I started with the Justice League cartoon and notably didn't get any shippy feelings from it for a good long while. And for most of what ive now picked up about the rest of the DC heroes, it kind of goes the same way. Of course there are canon relationships and the major fanon ships. But as far a Most shippable character? It's a tough one. I think there's something hilarious about making Bruce really squirm by putting him in situations where hes like "wtf am i doing" but cant stop himself. But a lot of that is that it fascinates me to imagine how things would play out since hes kind of a strange egg. It's not like i actually think he and whoever else are going to live happily ever after, but gosh itd be fun to explore their dynamics. So yeah, kind of a meh answer, but it'll have to do.

#kateanswers #and honestly who knows #my opinions on these could change as i get to know characters more #plus i have a taste for almost anything #and an acceptance for everything else #im clearly here for dynamics and exploration and thats abt it

[firebuug]

for the weird questions for writers thing: obligatory 6 9 4 and 20 bc funny. but for like actual questions 17 and 18

do not test me i will answer them all. my answers r below the cut LOL

6. What is your darkest fear about writing?

tbh? that people read it and go “oh. uh. this is uh. cringe” or that they totally read it thru the wrong lens. like if someone looked at a piece where i poured my inner anxieties and feelings into and they went “wow so they just wanted this character to be whiny for a sec huh.” bc tbh in the end ya thats what it is its a silly character saying funny thing but also like i never ever do that. if i do that and SHOW U that writing then i am trusting you with my life and my cringe and my life essence a—

also just being obviously inexperienced lol. i dont write professionally and dont intend to its just for funzies but am still self conscious anywayz

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know

yes ever since i was little i tried to let any ghost who may live in my house know i am its friend by sticking my foot out before bed and promising i wouldnt tell anyone if they could read my mind. my aunts had a haunted house and they went full investigator mode and somehow came to the conclusion it was their relative who wanted a last birthday party, so they threw a party for the ghost and all poltergeist activity stopped in their house

also related to writing but my friend’s WIP rn is literally titled He Doesn’t Believe In Ghosts

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

ive been writing the word Prestidigitation a lot bcuz dnd and i fucking HATE THAT WORD i cant even pronounce it i hate it die die die. also medival or mideival or whateve rthe fuck its spelled i hate that word

20. If a witch offered you the choice between eternal happiness with your one true love and the ability to finally finish, perfect, and publish your dearest, darlingest, most precious WIP in exactly the way you've always imagined it — which would you choose? You can’t have both sorry, life’s a bitch

. ok so im not a big writer so the only wips ive got goin on are a self indulgent band au psychoanalysis piece, a hypothetical comic con murder mystery and the forever cancelled zombie apocalypse story i wrote from elementary to middle school w my ocs. and tbh i would kill to see the comic con murder mystery completed just to read it myself so i would take that offer. but also it isnt a WIP but if i could have that witch rewrite the juggernaut event for me as the epic cinematic arpg video and writing combination thing i pictured it as id give her my life

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

UM um well. i dont have any plot for murder mystery and my band au is just. oc story that i can ramble about whenever but . my zombie apocalypse was the funniest shit. i played this for serious and i love how apeshit my imagination was back then. the lore was that a zombie virus happened bc the ceo of an evil company’s fail brother locked himself underground on accident and in the period which he was stuck in there tried to make himself a friend. but it corrupted and became a zombie and killed him and escaped. and the world got so bad that the scientists found a planet and named it Earth 2 and everyone got on there except for a bunch of everyday average people including our cast. and now. they r forced to survive. i published it frequently on deviantart journals and still have it on my google drive, sometimes i used to read it to get inspired to make apeshit stories for fun, but i havent in a while

8. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end.

does. does this mean like a snippet from my own writing? UHH a lot of my writing is oc stuff that i work into their stories but let me try and pull up something old that actually has a chance of having backstory to it HAHAJK

ok all i found was this from a Splatoon writing which i thot was funny because of the context of Buggy seeing a totally abandoned, empty subway station and still INSISTING on not hopping the ticket scanner or whatever. help. like i dont have any commentary i just wanted u to see this. :

“Just hop over it,” he remembered Skuggy telling him, “nobody cares.” Buggy felt too bad about it, though, and got him to lend him his old card anyways. He reached into his pockets for the said card and stuck it into the slot. The little dusty screen on top of the gate showed a little spinny loading circle before a light shone green and he was let in.

whatever. anyways instead ill spit fun fax about the juggernaut story writing event arpg thing bc i um. i um. i . i. i . @im-hiding22 its bad compared to my writing now but it was sillyfun

- i did not actually intend for buggy to kill farrow i intended for it to be a fake-out and for farrow to scramble to life right when the juggernaut approached or whatevs. but when all my friends went insane like he did die i thought “wouldnt it be funny if he died fr”

- i was intending on mendel to be the first death under the jugg’s hands because itd be cool for the creation to get revenge in its creator and for the story to be everyone trying to fix mendel’s mistakes themselves and possibly bring him back. but i could not imagine anything thatd reverse his mistakes in a satisfying way so i scrapped and rewrote it

- literally only wrote the stupid loredump radio broadcast cuz i had finished reading the nightvale novel

- 80% of the most fun i had from that and the most story-impacting decisions came from my friends sending asks, and seeing my friends actively wanting to participate and speculate on something i was writing was literally the most touching thing i have ever felt in my life. im reliving that high by running a dnd campaign in which now i can focus on telling my friends’ stories and intertwining them with my own

ok bye. this was 3 years long, im giving you a brownie if you read this far because youre incredible! all of the old writing i posted here can be found under the ;writing hashtag which will be tagged here :D if u. ever wanna see cringe splatoon or town of salem oc fanfic LOLL

#ask #THANKS FOR THE OPPORTUNITY TO RAMBLE #;writing #rambles

[salaciousslut]

Im glad youre having a good night with your friends sweetheart<3 and trust me ive been thinking about leaving you a message for the past hour, but im also here to answer anything you wanna know about me princess<3

I cant take naps or else i wake up with terrible headaches and it messes with the little sleep i do get at night, it sucks. I wish i could take naps, esp since im tired all the time.

I spend like 20-50 mins trying to get back to sleep, its always a gamble and its never worth trying to get an extra hour of sleep for me bc the headaches i get are real bad.

I wanna hear about anything you have an opinion on 🥺 hater or lover, I'll support your opinions 🥰

Honestly i hope you get a cuddly animal if/when you get a pet, my cats are extremely loving but i also gotta make sure im playing with them enough to encourage cuddling. and yeah my allergy sucks 😭 i love pitbulls, i want one so bad so im heartbroken

soooo fun hehehe come overrrrrrrr i wanna sit on ur lap and be a lil handsy and maybe some neck kisses and bites and just be all lovey and flirty hehe i promise o wont bite unless u want me too!! also im a lil drunk so it makes it funnnn

oh no :((((( i wish i could help with your headaches!! i know a feel PT techniques that might help if you want!! im sorry that u get them tho!! plus i can keep up company at night u know!! i am kissing u on the temple

hehe yes ill tell u a bunch of random things and drama about people u barely know

omg cats 🥺 u gotta show me pics some time okay? i wanna give them some love too!! we can find a hypoallergenic dog for u hehe

#ci answers #butch my beloved

[hoshiseon]

— GUIDELINES !

i enjoy writing:

polyamory, hybrids, fantasy/nonhuman creatures (vampires, mermaids, sirens, etc), cnc (somno, primal play, etc.), afab/fem/gn reader, fluff, smut, LIGHT angst

i won't write:

incest/pseudo incest, noncon, pedophila, race play, age play, fatshaming/fatphobic concepts, heavy dark themes triggering topics (self harm, su1c1de, eating disorders, etc.), ddlg/ddlb, furries, heavy bdsm (idk how else to explain this but like… no rly heavy kinks/kinks that could potentially be triggering) , idol x idol ships

i most likely won't write:

amab/male reader ➝ im afab so i wouldnt know how to go abt writing male/amab reader & i try to stay away from pronoun usage to be as inclusive as i can but when i write smut, i do refer to afab gentalia bc that’s what i am comfortable with

— before you send an ask !

please ask before ranting/venting! i love giving advice but somedays im just not up for it :]

i am not always on tumblr, i may get to asks late but i am not purposely ignoring anyone

asks are open to any groups on my fan list, however i only write for svt, txt, skz, and ateez so series and one-shots will be abt those groups. if i don’t like the group, i won't answer the ask.

NO MINORS!! if they aren’t legal in SK i don’t feel comfortable discussing them on this blog.

— BYF ✦

this blog is nsfw, minors do not interact!!

i do not condone any hate speech, you will be blocked/told off. keep your negativity elsewhere.

i am black, queer, neurodivergent, and afab so i will most likely speak on social issues. if you cant respect that this is not the blog for you. 

im very nice but shy lmao. i do want friends tho so feel free to drop an ask!! <3 that being said im kind of bad at interacting but i do try to when i dont feel extremely anxious abt it 😭 i use alot of petnames/ terms of endearment so if ur not comfortable with that pls lemme know

— DNI ✦

you are homophobic, racist, misogynistic, fatphobic, colorist, sexist, zionist/defend zionism, etc

if you are going to be negative or toxic. this is a safe space, take that somewhere else :| 

you cant hold your faves accountable

you anti any of the groups i like/are a toxic solo stan

you engage in fanwars

🪐 . . . tysm if u read all of this lmao, i promise i tried to make it short :,) ily ♡

#this will most likely be updated #🪐 — navigation #🪐 — important #🪐 — guidelines

[walks]

writing really helps you get all the feelings out

.. no family could be this bad.. they supported my older sister with her studies even going abroad for it twice, she gets to graduate with honors, dad wants her marriage to be massive with more than a thousand people invite,

but my dad is unpredictable and never kept his promises, just bc someone called him out by saying “its okay to spend millions on the wedding but not to fund his other daughter’s studies” he decide not to fund my sister’s wedding either, hence now mom has to work very hard for her wedding. even tho my older sister could pay it herself bc she has savings and the degree landed her really high paying job but she quits because apparently she doesn’t get along with her coworker and she doesn’t even use her degree anymore and sell clothes online instead, that really pisses me off because you have all of this from our parents and you’re not even going to use it????

you never even give mom a cent, back when you got that scholarship i was praying for you everyday that your future will be successful even tho you never once liked me. and the irony is that they feel bad for you and never for me, mom said to me “you are horrible for not helping to model for your sister’s clothing” “your sister is trying very hard and her clothing line isn’t doing so good but you wouldn’t help her” “it’s not even a big deal, you just pose for her and it would help her”and i was so confused… why am i so horrible now?

mom doesn’t understand, when my older sister worked in a french embassy years ago, and dad sent me a $25 allowance money SHE TOOK HALF OF IT saying its hers??? bitch i just graduated high school, whenever dad send us money he told us to split them but dude its fucking $25 what could you possibly need it for? i told her “but dad said you already got a job?” and she gets SO ANGRY shoved the money to me and cusses me?? for $25????? and let me tell u, i didn’t get to go to uni, theres no student loan in indonesia, i graduated high school couldn’t get any job, mom and dad gave up on me ever since elementary school.

they support you and give you everything you wanted, why are you mad over some money. you can move out and live a good life but you choose to stay home and mom still has to work to pay for your food?

i asked mom if she ever help her financially and she said not a dime?? i want to throw fist and wish her the worst because god what the actual fuck?

when i model i didn’t even earn as much as her i lost 5kg from being 40kg bc i would rather help mom pay her bills than spend money on food.

some days i still wished if they could support me just a little.. dont even have to put me through uni, just a little support, i would go so much further in life. i dont even need much, but they never do

i once asked my dad to borrow one of his cars because i have exam, he firmly said no. i asked to borrow because he casually lend his car to his friends. but not to his daughter (also i’m not being snob 😭 theres barely any bus around let alone train) you literally cant get anywhere unless you got a motorcycle or a car. i was asking him because this was after we live in a car for months (i told him about our situation and he doesn’t want to answer his phone or reply to my text) so we use the car money for apartment.

i asked my parents if i could also study overseas (because theres only 1 university in Indonesia that has a decent art study but it’s got horrible reputation) i told them i’m trying to earn a scholarship so i just need them to fund my food and cost of living for a bit, but i didn’t even get to try they were so nonchalant and didn’t even try to listen to my reasons, they were quiet and my sister had to cut me off saying in front of everyone that “it won’t work” “it doesn’t work” “you can’t go overseas no one is paying you for that” and no one said anything, just her words stopped me from studying and my parents agreed before i even said anything they wouldn’t support me. thats why i couldn’t paint anymore, painting just hurts too much.

OH on top of all of this when i started modeling i was bashed so hard for it because what i do go against everything they believed in, my dad especially.. said really horrible things, to his own daughter (:

and when i did my lingerie shoot i was incredibly proud of myself i feel the most confident. my sister went to my room and said “are you not embarrassed?” “you aren’t thinking of mom” “you’re selfish and you’re making problems for mom” “she will be very sad seeing you like this” and tears came out of that crocodile’s eyes lol. (if i tell you how many times my older sister just being her own prick self i would ran out of numbers)

i never understood this, i’m trying to make money for myself and to survive alone. because i did try to ask all of you many times for help. no one did, and now i’m the bad person

#journal. ✍🏻

[many-gay-magpies]

i promise i did not wait three days on purpose to answer this 😭

little ruffians and their little crimes !!! i am a Big Fan of found family (if you couldn’t tell) but there’s something Extra special about a crime found family idk why but something about a group of people on the run together, struggling to survive and truly having a terrible time but finding pockets of joy in the moments spent together and the group bond is just so good. *is vibrating* i like this a Normal Amount

that scene with jaan and shion is so funny to me bc i’m just imagining jaan like “oh no it’s Such A Shame we have to kick this guy’s ass if only there was a way to stay safe without violence” and shion saying “you know i can literally wipe his memor-“ “SO SAD WE DONT HAVW ITHER WAYS TO DEAL WITH THIS OH WELL I GUESS ILL HAVE TO BEAT HIM UP” they probably strike a deal that their usual way out is to have shion work some mind magic but if the other person is Particularly rude jaan can take his anger out

the vampire boys being really good with livestock 🥲 they’re probably friends with all the stray cats that wander around riverfield bc cats also hang around barns. oh i just got the funniest idea- they got so good at nightball bc during the “hide in barns” era they entertained themselves by herding the sheep. that shit takes Coordination and Speed

JUST BECAUSE YOU DIED DOESNT MEAN YOU CANT LIVE !!!!!!!!!!!! CRIES. CRIES A LOT. 🥲 doing one thing every weekend to teach them how to live again. when they have that big sleepover, sooha gets introduced to the cuddle pile and really softly goes “see? you’re doing great. this is exactly how a sleepover should go” and gets a little teary eyed when they pull her in

-vrvr anon

i think we're in a cycle of delays in asking/answering hskfbfkfb-- you (accidentally) wait three days to send another ask, i (just as accidentally) wait five SEVEN days to answer it! KSGDJFBFN i am very sorry this was not intentional

but honestly tho life and also bad memory gets in the way of things so its no problem ^^

Little Ruffians committing their Little Crimes. i am inconsolable. i do believe ive said in these exact words before that found family is my shit-- anything i write is going to have SOME degree of found family in it, sorry not sorry, thats just the way it goes. AND YES CRIME FOUND FAMILY on the run and struggling to survive but finding little pockets of joy in each other TRULY. the guys may have been having a shit time overall and been running for their lives for the better part of the millenia but they still look back on the memories with fondness because hey ! they had each other ! and theyre ALWAYS gonna have each other ! *also vibrating* i am Completely and Totally Normal About This.

YES EXACTLY KSGJFHDJDH shion keeps telling him he doesnt have to do this, there is a more morally sound way actually, but jaan just very conveniently does not hear. they probably continue making jokes about it even into the present, like sooha will be saying something or make a reference to something she said a week ago, and jaan is like "what?" because he doesnt remember and shion goes (to sooha) "hes selectively deaf". i just think it would be funny

AND THEN ALSO i imagine sometimes shion just goes ahead and wipes the guy's memory even AFTER jaan is done with him, just for security's sake, and all the other brothers (not yet clued in on shion and jaan's silent arrangement) just FLIP THEIR SHIT like "well wHAT THE HELL WAS THAT (jaan beating the guy up) EVEN FOR THEN IF SHION WAS JUST GONNA ERASE HIS MEMORIES ANYWAY-" and jaan just shrugs and goes "stress relief"

crazy cat ladies vampires,,, i can get behind it. because honestly theyre already centuries old and probably possess a handful of old people mannerisms anyway, the only things theyd really need to make them ACTUAL crazy cat ladies vampires is for them to live in a cottage on the coast and spontaneously take up crocheting. heck some of them probably ALREADY crochet. i could see jaan or jino doing that for fun. but yeah the decelis campus cats absolutely flock to the vampires' dorms because none of them obey the "dont feed/take in the strays" rule and theyre always putting out milk or feeding them fish or letting them come inside during the winter when its all cold and snowy outside. so yeah! crazy cat vampires. also the idea of them picking up literal herding dog tendencies is immensely funny to me. just the mental image of heli or jakah literally herding their brothers someplace when they're in a time crunch and about to be late because none of them can get their shit together

FOUND FAMILY SLEEPOVERS. YES. ABSOLUTELY. sooha brings it up to them and the brothers are all confused at first, because "why do we need to have a party specifically for sleeping?" or "sleepover? we did that all the time when we were in hiding from the orphanage, thats not-" and sooha is just like. head in hands. oh my god you are all so sad. you are making me so sad right now. what. and shes even MORE bent on giving them the most perfect, fun dumb teenager sleepover ever.

except,, maybe SHE doesnt exactly know how to do that EITHER—because think about it, as far as we know the only friend she ever HAD (that she remembers) was chris, and he died when she was around ten im guessing. her last sleepover, if they even had any at ALL what with sooha's mother's wariness and chris being a boy, would have been five or six years ago; the only stuff she knows about Fun Teenage Sleepovers probably comes from movies, books, and tv shows. so here sooha is, faced with seven boys who have never had a single normal experience in their lives, determined to give them as many of those missed experiences as she can, while she... has ALSO never had a single normal experience in her life. so, in a way, its all new for her, too—this whole having a group of friends and going out to do fun things with them thing. the boys ask her what exactly you DO at a sleepover, and she stumbles, gathering together all of the little things she's picked up from various pieces of media over the years: you wear pajamas, and you sleep in sleeping bags, and do each other's makeup and gossip, and watch movies, and eat junk food until the sun comes up. sooha says something about the REAL meaning of sleepovers being to not sleep at ALL and spend time with your friends, and shion furrows his brows and asks, "why is it called a SLEEPOVER in the first place, then?" and she does too because she doesnt have an answer. so they have their sleepover, and maybe its a little weird, maybe not like a normal sleepover, or how a sleepover SHOULD be—sooha wonders constantly if theyre having fun, if shes doing it right—but its good. its nice. and then at the end of it, when they ditch both the sleeping bags and the counterintuitive "dont sleep at the sleepover" rule, all forming one giant cuddle pile on heli's bed and pulling her into the middle, none of them say anything if she cries a little bit.

now i COULD stop here, because ive definitely been blabbering about the dark moon for long enough, but wheres the fun in that? SO instead of shutting up im gonna share you a little thing i talked about with one of my friends that i think you might find neat :D

only related to the rest of this ask by proxy of it also being about the dark moon, the other day my beloved mutual artzyy (@heeyunies) and i were discussing the logistics of solon being a hybrid—namely, if he bit someone, would they turn into a werewolf, a vampire, or a hybrid of both? the general consensus we reached was that it would depend on just what sort of hybrid he WAS. i even made a little chart!

if he's an artificial/lab-created hybrid like he is in OUR au (born a werewolf, fed vampire blood to become a vampire later on), i feel like he's... not really a hybrid in the way a lot of living creatures are hybrids; mules, zorses, that sort of thing. because the fundamental truth (or at least the fundamental truth in my theoretical werewolf/vampire canon) is that werewolves and vampires are opposites: werewolves are the pinnacle of life, in a way, and vampires are. literally dead. they are THE undead. the two supernatural races are completely incompatible—which we've already mentioned before as the reason solon's body sort of shuts down, locking his powers away when he receives the vampire "gene". if we look at vampirism and lycanthropy as viruses or infections, it's more like they're both existing in solon's body at the same time but seperately, fighting to take control of the space rather than mixing. solon's werewolf genes are repressed by the vampire genes when he's in his "human" form, so if he were to bite someone then and inject his "venom" they'd turn into a vampire. BUT if he bites someone while transformed, his werewolf genes have fought their way to the forefront again, and the victim turns into a werewolf. theres always the hypothetical case where he bites someone once as a vampire and then bites the SAME person again as a wolf, which could turn THEM into a hybrid, too, but im guessing that would happen to ANYONE that got bit by both a werewolf and vampire.

and then theres the other case my friend and i thought of, not canon to you and i's au but still hypothetically kind of cool—where solon is an organic/natural/biological hybrid, one parent being a werewolf and one a vampire. here, like i drew in the chart, the genes have time to actually mix and come together naturally, so rather than being either a werewolf OR a vampire depending on which side of him is most dominant at the time, solon is always a hybrid, and hypothetically then his bite would turn OTHERS into hybrids, as well. this is entirely hypothetical because, well, the way i see it vampires are literally dead and incapable of sexual reproduction, so that could never happen—or if they ARE capable of it their kid is just a regular human, because vampirism isnt genetic. still fun to think about tho :P

okay now im gonna shut up for REAL and just hit post because this took me entirely too long to answer KDHFJFBFN

#asks #anon 📝 #vrvr anon #dark moon universe #dark moon stuff #dark moon #finally answered + posted this ask GOOD LROD