#i cant even tell if i want to get rid of my body hair and i think about how much i don't like it on the daily

[jonny-b-meowborn]

I was feeling so nice and pretty in my makeup and a skirt but then I got my period and now I feel like every inch of my body screams "woman!!!!!!!" and now I wanna die

#i wanna remove my makeup and change into more masc baggy clothes but. im with my dad today were gonna visit family and all that #and i felt so cute. #i wanted to go visit my family looking like i look when i hang with my bestie #so like. comfortable in myself. fancy. silly. nice outfit with nice makeup and hair and accessories. like myself #but with my period now i feel like shit. my body doesnt fit me. #i want to lie down and wait until it's done #i wanna rip this fucking shit out of my body #i wanna die #and i cant even tell anyone how and why im feeling #most of my family doesnt knwim trans #literally just my cousin and sister #my parents know i hate having my period but they dont understand how much do i hate it #they dont understand that im 100% serious when i say its the most disgusting thing my body does #its awful. i hate it. i dont want it in my body. #it feels like its a parasite inside me #i need to get rid of my uterus or its gonna kill me one day #bee buzz

[blue-sleeps-in]

i gotta say it gets really annoying to have "chronically indecisive" as one of your main character traits

#i cant even tell if i want to get rid of my body hair and i think about how much i don't like it on the daily #i just feel really bad about ANYTHING permanent #also why i want to be a robot but would probably not chop off my arm even if the prostetic was better #the robot thing is at least in part about nothing physical being permanent #so i could change or go back at any moment #also when i think of travelling it's not really “i want to wander the world and have nowhere be my home” #i want to travel knowing there's always a home to come back to after this is all over #go out to explore knowing you'll return #i just hate leaving things behind

[strawberrystealer]

Bungo Stray Dogs- What I think they’d do if someone kidnapped you

Characters: Fyodor, Nikolai, Sigma, and Akutagawa

For some reason I think about this a lot sooo why not write about it!

Fyodor- 

Angry, upset, annoyed, all of those would be understatements

The pure rage that would fill this mans body once he gets the news-

If he saw like a letter or something thats like “Ayo we got ur bae come get them or they die lmaooo #livelaughlove” But a lot more sinister and stuff he’d go straight there and uhhh

Basically kill everyone there using his ability of course

He’d be so quick about it too, like drop everything he was doing and go straight there

Once he’s at the place in like the span of a few seconds everyone’s already dead and he goes over to you and idk takes off your blind fold or whatever they have on you

He becomes the softest man you’ve ever seen just for that moment cuz he doesn’t know what you’ve been through and he doesn’t want to cause you anymore pain

Once you two get home he’ll run a bath for you or something and stay by your side

He’ll make sure no one ever touches you again, he can’t ever risk losing you.

Nikolai- 

I bet he’d be like coming home all cheerful, ready to come mess with you or something and... you’re not on the couch.

Not in your room, the bathroom, anywhere

The smile immediately drops from his face and he gets worried

But then again he probably does this all the time so he texts you and you don’t respond??

Now he’s 10 times more worried than he was before!

Probably not a lot tho cuz he probably knows where you are

If thats the case then he just goes the the location and pays you a lil visit

Knocks on the door like a gentleman ofc 

But when they open it-

BOOM

“QUIZ TIME!!! Where’s my lovely little s/o?? Can you guess??” And he looks over and sees you inside the house.

Then he’d immediately kill move the kind gentleman into a burning fire! So sweet ik

He’d get to you and ofc be worried but once he finds out you’re okay he’ll be fine and back to his normal goofy self 

Unless you want the more realistic take where he cant stop thinking about it and thinks its his fault for weeks but is also trying to rid himself of emotions so ofc he cant be scared or guilty so he’s constantly battling himself on whether or not its his fault and if you still even like you because he might not have been there just in time to save you.

Sigma- 

He’d be so unbelievably worried 

He wouldn’t know who did it, why, how, or anything and he’d be just as confused as you probably are 

He’d probably have to ask for help, contemplate calling the cops but then realizes hes fr a terrorist he cant do that-

So he asks Fyodor for help and after a bit of pleading Fyodor gives him the location of where you and your abductor are

Once Sigma gets there, with some guns he’s probably scared to use, he sees the man that kidnapped you

Its gonna be like “if you give me ur casino ill give u your s/o” type of shit (super unrealistic but its all I can think of rn)

So obviously ur man isnt having that and shoots him

I mean he had no problem shooting that red haired girl (whatever her name is in the hunting dogs) so he probably wouldn’t have a problem killing some weak guy to get his lover back

Once he gets you safe he’ll keep asking if you’re okay alllll the time just because he’s so scared

“Darling are you sure you’re okay?? He seemed really scary... he didn’t hurt you did he? Do you need any bandages?”

Akutagawa- 

He looks completely unfazed

Like he’ll read some letter telling him to come get you or you die and be like “...Ugh not this again” 

He will get you though

And he is slightly scared but not really because he knows you’ll be fine once he gets you

When he gets to the place he doesn’t even knock on the door

He just punches a big ass hole in it with his ability and goes through it 

Also kills your abductor<3

Once he gets you he’s quiet

He’ll lightly hug you, glad your alive and the drive home will be silent

He’s considering weather he should be all “you’re so weak how’d you even get kidnapped” or “are you okay? ... He didn’t do any physical abuse to you, correct?” But both of them sound weird to him so he’s silent

When you get home he’ll prepare anything you wish

Tea? Dinner? Blankets? Anything, he’ll do for you

He does love you and he was very worried its just he has a poor way of showing it, thats all :)

#fyodor #fyodor x reader #nikolai #nikolai x reader #sigma #sigma x reader #akutagawa #akutagawa x reader #bsd #bsd anime #bungo stray dogs #x reader

[tonguepiercedanyway75]

Ross Macdonald x reader

a short blurb about how you want Ross to stay in the morning

MDNI, 18+

────────────────────────

The bedroom is still dark, the curtains shutting the morning sun out, when you hear shuffling in the room. You roll on to your back and feel the empty, cold spot next to you. You groan and open your eyes groggily.

You see Ross, still in his boxers pulling a black shirt over his head. His hair is pulled into a messy bun and he looks very sleepy.

“Come back to bed,” you whine, opening the blanket for him. You both hate when you can’t spend the morning in bed together.

“Already awake?” He says and moves towards you. Ross leans down and kisses your forehead. When he wants to leave, you hold onto his arm and try to pull him down. “Love, are you trying to knock me over?” He laughs.

“I’m trying to cuddle with my boyfriend,” he’s still standing next to the bed and you’re still waiting for him to drop on top of you.

“C’mon now, you know I have to meet up with the boys,” you groan and roll your eyes which makes his lips curl up. The boys always choose the worst times to meet up, because morning cuddles have always been the best.

“Then say traffic is shit and stay,” your hand wanders up to his biceps and your grip tightens a little more. “Or just be late.”

“And stay for a cuddle yeah?” He’s teasing you but Ross loves to stay with you as much as you do.

“Please, 5 minutes.” You scoot up and wrap your arms around his body. Your face is on the height of his stomach. You lift his shirt to pull it over his head. Ross pulls his eyebrows up and smirks.

“Wicked,” he says and lets you pull his shirt over his head, revealing his body again, you start to prep kiss from his stomach to his neck and then to his lips.

“Stay,” you whisper against his lips and he kisses you back, with the same amount of heat and passion. He groans because he knows he’s gonna stay and he’s gonna be very late.

“You’re mad darling,” he looks down at your face and he cant help himself from grabbing your chin. You’re wearing a long shirt, your hair is in a messy bun and your facial expression is hinting at a sleepiness. He loves you like this even more.

“5 minutes,” he says and you immediately grin because you’ve won, he slips next to you and wants to pull you onto his chest, until you shake your head.

“On top ‘f me,” you plead and he chuckles. Every time you need him close, you want him to crush you with his weight. Some times when you’re in pain, it’s the only thing that helps.

Ross immediately rolls on top of you and starts trailing wet kisses from your neck down to your chest.

“Doing everything I say McDonald?” you laugh. Ross stops kissing you and moves his face back up to yours.

“Don’t take the piss,” he’s on you again, kissing your lips and keeping your lips on his, by holding your neck.

“You’re too spoiled,” you know you are, you know he’s too god for you but you enjoy every minute of him giving you his attention.

You bite your lip, and wrap your legs around his sides, to feel him closer. He grunts and there’s a second where his bulge rubs against your core and you let a whine slip.

“Darling, 5 minutes?” He reminds you but you shake your head and grin into the next kiss. “Can’t do anything with you here,” he mumbles, before pulling your shirt over his head.

“Give you what you want before I leave, okay?” You nod and then his mouth is on every inch of your skin again. His hands sneakily getting rid of your panties.

You shudder with anticipation at the feeling of his breath gently hitting your dripping center. When you look down at him he is looking up at you, his eyes burning with lust and his pupils blown wide.

He licks his lips before leaning in and kissing your burning core softly while running his tongue out to lap up your juices. “ ‘s what you wanted darling?” You whine and try to push his mouth to where you need him the most, but he resists. “Love.” He just says and you know you have to tell him what you want.

“Yes, it’s what I wanted,” your hand makes his way to his hair tie and you pull it out to reveal his messy hair. You run your hand through it before pushing his head to your chore. “Please Ross,” you whisper and that’s doing it for him. His mouth is on you again with one hand on your stomach to keep you from arching your back off the bed.

Ross’ mouth is hot on your pussy as he continues his work. He plunges two of his fingers inside of you, hooking them up as he moves them in-and-out, all while sucking on your swollen clit.

He hums against you, the sound and the feeling sending a shudder through your body. You try not to buck up into his mouth, but your attempts are just attempts. He doesn’t mind though because he loves how impatient you get, only for him.

His beard is shiny and damp, his lips glistening, hair messy from where your fingers were tangled in it. The sight of him looking so completely disheveled and filthy has you clenching around nothing, the ache almost too much to bear.

“Always gonna be late ‘f I get to do this.” He grins but then he’s on you again, giving you no time to respond. His hands are gripping your thighs, pushing them apart to give him better access.

Your eyes roll back and your mouth falls open, a constant stream of moans and ‘Ross’ falling from your lips. Your sounds spurt him on even more and when you finally open your eyes, you watch him. Watch as his hips grind into the bed, searching for his own release, eyes closed and lost in the pleasure of tasting you.

“Fuck, fuck- Ross,” He groans in response, the hand on your stomach pressing down harder to meet the two fingers curling and stroking inside of you. You cry out at the increased pressure as he keeps his lips around your clit, sucking and swirling his tongue around the bud, his fingers hitting the same spot.

You moan out his name and tell him you’re close but Ross talks you through it and encourages you to let go. You come apart with a string of shattered breaths, eyes rolled back and fingers twisted into the blanket under you.

“So good for me love,” he mumbles and his body is moving up again, this way he can prep your face with kisses, “you alright?” He asks and waits for your eyes to open, but exhaustion is hitting you as its finest.

You nod, “thank you,” he’s already too late and you can only hope the others are too. “I love you Ross,” you pull his body down into a hug and his naked chest on yours calms your breathing.

He frees himself from your grip but you’re too tired to keep him there. A few minutes later you feel a warm, wet cloth on your chore and you hiss at the overstimulation. “Have to clean you up love, I’m being very gentle.”

He’s gentle just like he promised, yet you still hiss slightly when the warm material meets your sensitive skin again. When he’s finished, he grabs the same shirt he put on earlier and puts on some shorts from the dresser. He then puts a different shirt over your head and kisses your lips softly.

“Really have to go now, am I alright to leave?” His brown eyes are gazing at you, his finger tracing patterns to your jawline.

“Yes, say hi to the boys from me,” you say and kiss him one last time before watching him move out of the door. You snuggle into his pillow and fall asleep minutes later.

#the 1975 #ross macdonald #matty healy #george daniel #adam hann #ross macdonald fluff #the 1975 fic #ross macdonald imagine #ross macdonald x reader #ross macdonald x you #ross macdonald smut

[woncherie]

hello!! it took me a bit more than a week to post part 2 of my fic, im so glad i got so many nice comments on my previous part :(( yall made me so happy omg i hope you enjoy this part too.

part 1 / part 2 / part 3

warnings: afab!reader, no pronouns used, bully!scara, bullying, sub!scara, reader makes him a sub lol, nsfw, finger sucking, spit play, thigh riding, degradation, blackmail, ass play. (please tell me if I missed something)

wc: 4.4k

what have i done? you were currently turning and tossing yourself around your bed, trying to proceeds yesterdays events, burying your head into your pillow. what have i done?? you always wanted to press a pillow onto your head until you couldnt breath anymore, why not do it now? This would definitely be a better opportunity than go to your lectures right now and get yourself killed by a certain violet haired man.

how did you even get this confident? you tried to blame everything to the alcohol you drank yesterday, your head hurting in approval. sober you would've never done that this smoothly.

you were a bit proud of yourself though. you showed him who the boss was, even if it was just for a night. maybe, just maybe, he will leave you alone now?

curiosity took over you and you grabbed your phone, opening your gallery quickly, being greeted with a very special photo you took the night before.

scaramouche right before you on the screen, eyes teary, mouth wide open with your spit on his tongue, waiting patiently like a good boy. you could clearly see the bulge he had in his pants, grinding steadily against your leg. you can still feel the way he grinded himself on your thigh, and just thinking about the night before made your mouth water and pussy clench. for fucks sake. he really was gorgeous like this.

your timer went off again, reminding you that you should be leaving your bed and getting ready, and the urge to just turn it off completely was very high, but you decided to fight these feelings and stand up slowly instead. you cant hide forever. at some point you will have to meet him again. you aint no pussy.

your head was still hurting like a bitch, but you tried to ignore it. you took a quick shower to get rid of the remaining alcohol and cigarette smell you had on your body and hair, stepping out of the shower and drying your hair properly before changing into you clothes.

after a few minutes you heard your doorbell ring, so you walked up to the door and opened it for a certain blonde guy who stood in your doorframe.

"morning." albedo said in his typical monotonous voice, carrying two small bags with breakfast for the both of you to eat on your way to uni.

"you are absolutely saving my ass."

"my specialty" he answered, handing you your sandwich after you put on your shoes and closed the door behind yourself. you could see that he also wasn't feeling too well right now, still hungover from the day before. but you werent feeling one ounce better.

on your way to uni, you kept thinking about the night before. you have absolutely no idea how you ended up like this. this definitely wasnt your first sexual experience, and you do get your fair share of fun every now and then, but you have never been this controlling over anybody, but fuck, did it feel amazing.

"are you feeling alright?" you heard albedo ask next to you, looking at you through his glasses. he must've noticed that you were sunk in thoughts. "huh? yeah. was just thinking about the party yesterday, my head hurts like a bitch. how did i even get home?"

the intelligent man next to you smiled a bit against his cup of coffee. "apparently yanfei brought us home, we certainly did drink a lot yesterday. she really is a responsible person. need to thank h..."

you werent really listening to him anymore. its not that you couldnt, your mind was just racing right now. does he know what happened? you asked yourself. scaramouche and you werent really in a private area yesterday. did anyone see us?

"wow, y/n, you really seem to be lost in thoughts. care to share?"

you instantly moved your head to him, looking at him with wide eyes before coughing a bit and shaking your head. "im sorry, im just.. really tired, thats all."

"Well, at least we dont have many lectures today. you can go back home quickly and nap some more." he worried about you. albedo always cared about you, just like you cared about him. it was a really nice friendship you two had, but you just didnt feel like telling him anything. he would beat your ass once you told him what you did.

after a few minutes of a silent walk, you arrived at the campus. you threw your empty wrappers away and headed straight to the lecture hall, your heart beating faster and faster with every step you took. fuck. he's gonna kill you.

you opened the door to the lecture hall, letting albedo enter first before following him into the room. it was quite full already, and your eyes immediately scanned the crowd. you easily spotted childe, columbina and dottore, their unusual and fancy clothes catching your eyes quickly. but no scaramouche yet.

you sat down with albedo somewhere in the back of the hall, hiding from the view of others. well, that was your goal at least. you expected a furious little man to storm into the room and peel your skin of alive of your body, but.. he never came?

you heard the girls in the row in front of you talk and couldnt help but listen to their conversation.

"Scara is not here yet.."

"Yeah of course. did you see how he hit the bottle yesterday? couldnt stop drinking, especially at the end."

"he seemed a bit anxious, im worried.."

"nah. probably just couldnt tolerate the weed properly."

The first girl really seemed to be concerned about him, and you couldnt help but suppress a gag at her attitude. just wanted to get into his pants. oh if she knew.

at some point the professor came into the hall and started the lecture without scaramouche joining the class, and you sighed in relieve. you were save, at least for now.

☆

You didnt have a lot of lectures today, so you went back home rather quickly that day. albedo joined you once again, and you two walked into your apartment, immediately throwing yourself onto your bed. it wasnt just your head hurting like a bitch, albedo also felt really exhausted, so no one was surprised when you both just fell asleep right then and there.

after a few hours you opened your eyes again, a snoring blonde still sleeping next to you and your head still woozy from the nap you took. you noticed how your stomach grumbled and stood up slowly, going into the small kitchen that your 25 m² apartment had to wash your face.

you didnt wake albedo up yet, letting him sleep his hangover away. instead, you started making some food for the both of you. you didnt have a lot of food in your fridge. of course not, you are a busy student in their last year, all you survive off is noodles and toast.

you really were hungry, and a normal sandwich wouldnt make anyone of you two feel satisfied, so you decided to make some pasta with tomato sauce. simple and easy.

while cooking, your thoughts wandered once again to the night before, but before you could form any proper thoughts, your phone lighted up. you dried your hands and took a look at it. a new message from.. unknown number?

+76 628 ×××××××: delete the picture.

...oh. it wasn't hard to guess who this message is from. your stomach dropped a bit and you gulped, your heart beating a tiny bit faster.

you: where do you have my number from?

its not a perfect reply to him, but at least you had a few minutes time to collect yourself and not be this nervous anymore. he's not here right now. he can't do anything to you. you are save. you saved his number into your phone.

scaramouche: ask me something more difficult next time.

scaramouche: delete. this. picture.

you licked your lips, stirring the food on the stove before it might burn, collecting your thoughts. he's not here right now. you can do whatever you want.

you took another look at the picture you took of him, smirking, unable to control or suppress it.

you: no.

it didn't take him long to answer, probably being active on his phone to reply to you as fast as possible.

scaramouche: im gonna fucking end you myself.

at this point you were used to his threats. wasn't the first time, nor will it be the last time it'll happen. every time you fucked up a lab report, a presentation or anything college related that might affect him negatively, you got tripped, your property destroyed and a few insults thrown at you. it was nothing new.

you: *attached image*

you: oh look how adorable you look. wish you'd always be this much of a good boy for me. my spit suits you.

you heard a few broken and hurtful moans at the other end of the room, so you looked up from your phone. albedo woke up and streched himself, scratching his stomach and rubbing his eyes open.

"..morn'ng" he mumbled, and you put your phone back into your back pocket. "its not quite morning, albedo." you answered while he tried to get used to the light that shined in your room. he took a look outside of your window and saw how dark it was. "what time is it?"

"7:16 pm" you answered while you set the table for the both of you. "made some food."

you could feel your phone vibrate in your pocket and you bit your lip from the inside in response. it was scaramouche again, but you couldnt check your phone now. albedo would ask, and you didnt feel like telling him anything.

"thank you, really sweet of you." albedo said before excusing himself into the small bathroom you had. your apartment really was small, but that was all you could afford with your part time job.

the second albedo closed the door you had your phone in your hand again, checking the message you got.

scaramouche: ...

scaramouche: dont do this now..

scaramouche: delete the pic. fucking bitch

you giggled a bit at his reply, quickly typing in your reply.

you: i really love coffee, do you know that? why dont you bring me one tomorrow and ill think about it.

scaramouche: you cant be forreal now.

you didnt answer him anymore, putting your phone away and finish setting the table before putting some food into albedos and your plate, right before he came back from the bathroom. you hoped he didnt notice your more-than-usual happy mood, nor the slightly red blush in your face.

"washed ur hands?" you asked.

"no, ew." he answered jokingly, finally awake again. you just laughed at his reply before you both sat down and ate together.

☆

the next day you were even excited to go to uni. you felt completely different than the day before. there is absolutely no way scaramouche will do anything to annoy you, too afraid of you to post the picture.

last night, you thought a bit. would you really post a picture of scaramouche on your lap, horny and full of your spit? probably not. you wouldnt have the balls to post it. but scaring him? oh yes. you like this. you let him believe you would do it. maybe he will stop bullying you now in uni? that would be too good to be true.

you ate your breakfast on the way to uni. albedo left later the night before, and you agreed with him to meet up on campus right before the lecture started.

"hey!" you could hear someone say behind you rather aggressively, and you looked behind you before slowly standing still. of course it was your favourite indigo haired man.

you could tell by the look on his face that he'd be everywhere else than here, in front of you, with a fucking coffee in his hand that he might throw all over your face and hair (like it happened quite a few times already.)

but instead of humiliating you, he passed you the coffee while biting his lip furiously, trying not to burst out in a tide of various creative insults.

"well that was easy." you said mockingly, looking down on the cup he handed you. it was warm and looked good. you opened the lid of the paper cup, checking the content.

cappuccino and... spit.

"thanks for that i guess." you chuckle and looked at him again, his face completely red from embarrassment and shame. how did he fall so low to bring you coffee?

"you know what to do now." he demanded, but you only shaked your head. "dont feel like it. you are being really nice to me. i guess ill keep the picture for a few more weeks."

you started walking away slowly, heading to uni, but scaramouche didnt let you go this easily, following you like a desperate man. he knew you wouldnt delete his fucking downfall of a photo just like that.

"i said, delete. the. picture. you will fucking regret this." he threatened you again, but you acted unbothered and took a sip of the cup. you could feel scaramouche cringe next to you, weirded out by you drinking the mixture in the paper cup. "you were humping my leg like a bitch in heat, im not grossed out by a bit of your spit."

"DONT SAY THIS out loud" he yelled at you at the beginning but then lowered his voice, noticing how people around the both of you are looking over. "please." he then said defeated. "just tell me what you want and ill fucking give it to you. why do you wanna ruin my reputation this badly?"

you couldnt help but roll your eyes and continue walking. after all these months and years of him humiliating and bullying you, he dares to ask you for something like that? how bold.

"just write the next lap report for our project like a good boy and the picture will be save with me." the violett haired man next to you blushed at the weird compliment you gave him but tried to hide his face in his jacket. cute.

☆

getting close to campus, scaramouche stopped following you like a lost kid and instead turned into another street. he really didnt feel like being seen on campus with you.

when you arrived, you already saw albedo standing near the building, and you smiled at him while walking to him. you threw the coffee away before hugging him. "morning."

"morning. didnt like your drink?" he pointed out the drink you threw away while still being half full.

"yeah, the barista fucked it up i guess." you lied while heading into the lecture room. poor albedo, you've been so insincere to him the past few days. you did feel bad, but you already knew about the lecture he will give you once he'll find out.

the room was only half as full as yesterday, todays course only taking in half as many students as yesterdays. but of course a special bully is still sitting in the crowd. you could feel the eyes of him following you on your way to the back rows, but you tried to ignore him.

scaramouche was sitting in the middle of his friend group at the front of the hall, everyone but him happily talking and laughing. he just sat there and sulked angrily, scribbling on his tablet.

you sat down with albedo next to yanfei, and she smiled and started some small talk with the both of you (you didnt actually listen to what she said) until the professor came and started his lecture.

"hey, y/n?" albedo asked you in a low voice, trying to not bother anyone around them during the lecture.

"yeah?"

"wanna head to the library later today? i have a few things to study for and protocolls to prepare"

you looked at the professor but nodded at albedo, thinking it was a good idea. you'd probably still do the lab protocols that you just told scaramouche to do, unsure if he will do them himself. you didnt feel like failing classes just because he didnt hand in the work you both were supposed to do. "sounds like a plan."

☆

you were currently heads deep reading into a few books which laid on the table, albedo sitting in front of you with the exact same book, trying to answer the questions on the reports. "..identity test and purity test of lidocaine hydrochloride?"

you were both searching for the answers in the books that laid all over the wide library table, but no answers. you sighed defeatedly, not even trying to be silent.

it was pretty late at night, 10:37 pm the watch on the wall told you, and you still werent done yet. it felt like you two were the only people in here, everyone else already left. if you two wouldve been more productive, you'd be done by now too, but instead you decided to spend extra time in the cafeteria to talk about anything and everything.

you rubbed your eyes before closing the book, standing up and stretching yourself while your blonde best friend followed you with his eyes. "im trying to find a better book. ill be back in a few minutes."

he nodded and you headed to the tons shelves, getting lost in different publications and works by different authors. you needed to walk quite a while to arrive at the section you needed, putting the old book back into the rack, your eyes scanning the book spines, trying to find a better one.

but between the publications and books, of course, you saw a special pair of indigo eyes and hair on the other side of the shelves. you couldnt think straight, and before you realized it yourself, you headed to the section where your favourite bully was standing.

a book in his hand, eyes buried deep into the book before he looked up with them, seeing your face and rolling his eyes immediately. "how the fuck are you everywhere?" scaramouche asked you.

"i should be asking you this." you answered and leaned against the shelf. "first time that i see you in here. what are you doing?"

scaramouche closed the book and put it back where he got it from. "writing my lab report. last time you told me to do it, didnt you?"

wow. you were surprised that he actually was doing his share in the project. and that he just said a whole sentence without cussing you out. you felt proud of him.

"thank you, i guess." you say, scratching your head, but scaramouche immediately turned back to you and grabbed your arm, pressing you into the shelf with full force.

"if you really feel thankful, maybe think about deleting the picture from two days ago, you fucking bitch." he spat in your face.

oh wow. welcome back, old scaramouche.

a special thought appeared in your head, and you looked at him with a small grin plastered on your lips. he just looked at you confused.

"the fuck is so funny about this?" he spat again, and your grin started growing on your face. "dont feel like it.", you answered, "but i can maybe thank you differently." you moved your leg between his, lifting it to meet his crotch softly.

scaramouche gasped quickly, probably from shock, and he let your hand go. it was an easy opportunity to shove him away from you, now you being the one to press him against the reck of books, caging him in with your hands.

you could easily see the pure flustered shock on his face, eyes wide open and face tinted in red, and you enjoyed it.

"not so bold now, are you?" you asked him, getting closer to his neck and pressing a few light kisses on them. you could feel him inhale in shock, holding his breath in and biting his lip as you attacked his neck with bites and kisses. "we can continue off from where we stopped last time?"

scaramouche felt like he was on fire, body moving on his own once again. he used your thigh to get himself off, getting hard embarrassingly quick. "see, you seem to like it?" you whispered in his ear, but all he could do was bite his lips and trying to stay silent.

yes, the library wasnt full, but it wasnt completely empty either. he didnt want anyones attention on the two of you, so he tried his best to stay silent.

you didnt appreciate this behaviour though, and pinched his ass from behind, a gasp leaving his mouth louder than he intended to.

you let go off him for a second, grabbing his small waist to turn him around, his chest pressing against the books and yours against his back. he looked back at you with wide eyes, visibly shocked. "what are u-" he started his sentence, but your hand on his boner made him lose his train of thoughts.

you opened his pants and slid in with your right hand, playing with the hem of his boxers. "st..stop this, not here.." he mumbled aroused, his pleas not sounding too serious. he didnt wanna stop now, he started to feel incredibly good again. how are you doing that to him?

your hand grabbed his dick, pumping it twice in his pants and scaramouche let his head fall back in his neck, a silent moan leaving his lips. fuck, your hands were cold, but they felt so good on his body.

but how can he believe you would get him off this easily? you giggled silently while watching him enjoy himself before taking your hand back again and kneeling behind him.

he started to get really frustrated with your behaviour and tried to glare back to you, but when he saw you on your knees behind him, face right near his ass, his eyes widened in shock (once again.)

"what are you doing?" he asked you. you didnt answer him though. all you did was pull his pants and boxers down, here, right in the middle of a library between a thousands of books.

the cold air hitting his skin made him shudder, his face turning left and right, trying to check if anyone was close. if anyone would catch you two in here, he'd absolutely go apeshit.

"ever got your asshole licked, scara?" you asked him, and your direct way of asking him made his whole face flush red. "what the fuck are you on again??" he asked, but you didnt answer once again.

you spat in your hand and moved it back to his dick, stroking him a few times to get him more obedient again. his eyes closed in shame and lust as he rutted into your hand, biting down on his hand to stay silent.

you, once again, let go of him, but this time you decided to play with his backside, massaging his ass and getting him more riled up. after a few seconds you used one of your wet fingers to get close to his hole, circling it with spit to get it wet. the moan scaramouche let out in that moment was godlike.

fuck, you wanted to hear more of that. more of his angelic voice. you can't deny that his means and whimpers do something to you, your panties getting a bit wet, heart beating faster.

you couldnt control yourself anymore and grabbed his waist, pulling him close to your face and holding him in place while you devoured him right then and there, tongue circling his hole, moving up and down close to his balls.

scaramouche felt weird, scaramouche felt good. he never felt something like this, his body never felt this good. you didnt even need to hold him down anymore, he was drunk on the pleasure, shoving his cute ass right into your face, chasing the pleasure.

he tried to stabilize himself on the shelf with his hands, head falling back into his neck and tears pooling in his eyes, so close to spilling. usually he was the one pleasuring others, and being on the receiving side this time makes him feel so small and incredibly good. he can't think of a day where he felt like this with another person pleasuring him.

he couldnt help but choke onto air, not a single word coming out of his mouth other than silent whines, tears and mewls of pleasure, so close to cumming.

at some point you switched to your fingers, a spit covered one circling his hole before slowly pushing in, and scaramouche became putty in your hands.

you took your phone from your pocket and opened your camera in one swift motion, but this time you gave the tall man in front of you some time to react.

"say cheese.." you said, and scaramouche turned his head back to you, cheeks red and wet from his tears, lip swollen, tongue out and eyes big. but he didnt care, fuck he really didnt care right now. all he needed was this pleasure that you gave him, so he just looked in the camera with angry eyes which made him look just so much more adorable. just take those stupid pics. he thought.

"y/n?" you heard a familiar voice call out your name.

oh. you completely forgot that you werent alone in the library, albedos voice somewhere near you and scaramouche. you both immediately jumped up, you on your feet and scaramouche crouching, pulling his pants up, both of your eyes wide in shock and fear.

scaramouche knew that if anyone would see you two here it wouldve been easy to guess what you did, so he pulled his pants up rather poorly and jumped away from the other side of the aisle to the other direction from where albedo came from.

fucking hell. he got blue balled once again.

"im here." you said after fixing your clothes, taking any book from the shelves and opening any page, trying to look busy as albedo walked into the aisle. it was so hard for you to contain your smirk after what you just did, but you tried your best. "i was just wondering what took you so long." he asked, fixing his glasses on his nose. "i already have the solution, we're done for today."

"oh god thank you."

"wanna get some food?"

"yes please, i was just getting tired of being here." you said and put the book away, scaramouche a few aisle away from you, listening to your conversation, hiding his face in his hands.

how did you wrap him around your finger once again?

☆☆☆

NYAHAHAHA hello i hope you liked part 2!! i feel like i did a bad job overall but whatever take it as it is <3 im sorry it took so long.. part 3 maybe?? yes or no??

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact drabble #genshin impact scaramouche #genshin x reader #genshin scaramouche #scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #scaranation #sub!scaramouche #dom!reader

[ewanmitchellconnoisseur]

"Fuck Love" (Final Part)

A/N: This is the final part of Anti-Love Ettore. Sorry, this took me so long! School is finally over and im ready to get back into writing!

Summary: The three of you in forced proximity was never going to have a great end result.

TW: blood, murder, public masturbation, unprotected sex, p in v, creampie, jealousy, rage sex, rough sex, choking, scent kink, sweat kink, fingering, degradation, name-calling,

Word Count: 4.1k

← Previous Part

I cant remember who made the X Banner. If you know please tell me.

To simply say there was tension aboard this ship would be an understatement.

It had only been a week on this ship and the energy that travelled through these halls was palpable.

Ettore had been quiet. Too quiet. Not once had he confronted you or Jarvis, instead he watched. You could tell he was planning something. The way he would stare at you or Jarvis wasn't exactly his best effort at being subtle.

He'd stand behind you any chance he could. When you did workouts he made sure he had the best view of you crawling. When you were getting meds he was pressed behind you even though there was more than enough space. He'd be sure to be around when you were showering or getting out of the box so he could use it after you. Knowing that you were just in there, wondering who it is you were thinking of. The thoughts made him angry but had his cock so hard to the point of pain.

Jarvis on the other hand didn't seem to notice what you and everybody else did. Either the fucker was stupid or just naturally blind. He sat next to you during all meals and talked to you whenever he had the chance. If you were on the bridge he'd be right there beside you trying to hold your hand.

You hadn't given any response back, no indication that you wanted him around. Truthfully you were pissed. You wouldn't even be here if he hadn't dragged you into that mission or left you behind.

above all, you didn't want to react knowing Ettore was watching. If he caught you feeding into Jarvis he'd not only kill him but you too...after he fucks your brains out of course.

Your day had been shit.

That doctor requested all the women to come to her office and did checkups on all of you. You shrugged it off assuming it was probably one of her tasks but it still hurt like hell whatever meds she was giving you guys had you all feeling like zombies.

After finishing laundry duty you had some downtime and like all the other women planned on spending it taking a nap hoping to get rid of the groggy feeling. The break room was small and didn't have much in it but it did have a nice couch.

You get comfortable on the couch slowly drifting off peacefully humming a tune that's been stuck in your head for days.

Stickiness between your legs.

That feeling in your stomach you hadn't felt in so long.

Gentle sleepy moans.

You're not sure how long you had been asleep but you were slowly waking up.

You could feel someone touching you. Still feeling groggy you try your best to lift your heavy eyelids.

But you don't have to know who it is. You can feel it. No one else knew your body better. What got you feeling the way you do now.

You feel a kiss on your temple and more making its way to your collarbone.

His hands move faster pulling out of your slumber. You're close and he knows it. Finally feeling awake you open your eyes.

Ettore is kneeling next to the couch a hand down your pants the other stroking your hair back.

"Who is he?" He doesn't stop moving his fingers but instead begins curling them against that spot he knows you love so much.

"E-Ettore-"

"Who. Is. He." The heel of his hand grazed against your clit ever so gently. As you ignored his question and enjoyed the feeling of being touched after so many months so close to cumming you feel it all stop as Ettore removes his hand. "I won't ask you again."

"My ex. Kind of." You were never in a committed relationship, it was more like a situationship. Though you acted like a couple he never asked you to be his girlfriend and you never asked for him to be your boyfriend.

Ettore licked his fingers clean then said nothing else before standing up and leaving the room.

You were worried. Anyone who knew Ettore would be.

He doesn't like sharing his toys.

Another two days go by of Ettore watching you from afar, only now? Now he has decided to flaunt around the ship with no shirt on. He goes to the box before you do and moans your name loudly knowing you're outside waiting. He knows you want him, knows that you miss him.

His eyes never leave your body and his hands touch you whenever they can. You had been fortunate enough that both you and Jarvis haven't been assigned to any jobs with him.

But everyone's luck runs out.

Your heart almost dropped when you saw Jarvis' name next to Ettore's on laundry duty.

It's not like you cared about Jarvis. He's the whole reason you were here in the first place, but you can't help but remember and love the memories you share with him. The only time you got to experience a normal and real relationship was with him.

You walk over to the laundry room, your heart beating with every step. When you finally arrive you don't bother peeking in first, you waste no time and just walk in.

Ettore and Jarvis are standing facing each other. While Ettore looks relaxed Jarvis's fists are clenched and anger is evident on his face.

"What's going on in here?"

They both turn to look at you. Ettore's relaxed face switches to a smug one. He gives you a wink before turning around and continuing his task.

Jarvis walks over to you and takes your hand leading you out of the room to a quiet part of the halls.

"That's him? The reason why you left your old town?" He wasn't angry but tense. And honestly, he had a fucking attitude.

You nod. "What did he say to you?" You knew he must have said something. Ettore couldn't help himself, he had no self-control.

"Nothing to worry your pretty head over. I can handle him." You do your best not to laugh in his face. His confidence was unmeasured. "Just. Stay away from him. Ok, princess?" And now you wanted to gag.

You hated when he called you that before and you don't like it now. Pet names didn't suit him. He leans in to give only what you can assume is a kiss.

Someone clears their throat. You both turn to see Ettore leaning against a wall watching the two of you.

"I don't plan on doing laundry alone," he mutters his eyes stuck on you.

Jarvis rolls his eyes and plants a quick kiss on your cheek before going back into the laundry room, promising to come find you after.

Ettore stays for a couple more seconds just staring at you. His eyes run over your body and you watch as his hand slides in his pants. He takes in a sharp breath as his hand wraps around his length. His eyes stay trained on you as he pumps himself, squeezing tight to mimic how tight your pussy is.

You keep watching as he speeds up. His mouth hung open as he strokes himself until he cums.

You can't help but watch. You knew just like he did that he was the only one who could truly make you cum. Truly makes you see stars, he was the only one who could have you begging for more.

As if sensing your thoughts he removes his hand.

"Soon." He mumbles before turning and heading into the laundry room closing the door behind him.

All you can do is pray he keeps his word. You're not sure how much longer you can wait.

The following day you resume your normal routine. Completing whatever tasks you're assigned. You spend time with Tcherny in the garden, the only place on this ship that reminds you of Earth.

You both lay on the grass talking about your old lives. Wondering what everyone is doing right now. It's nice and calming and probably the first mundane moment you've had in a week.

Well, that moment is interrupted by the sound of someone screaming. Tcherny stands up quickly and heads for the ladder to get back up. You follow after him praying that something bad hasn't happened. As you make your way up you can hear males yelling back and forth and already know your prayer wasn't answered.

You both make your way to where the screams and yelling are coming from, you see Boyse standing at the end of the hall.

You look down the hall to see Monte attempting to restrain Ettore, blood soaking his clothes as Dibs hovers over Jarvis who's clutching his face. Tcherny runs over to help Monte.

Jarvis' face is badly beaten and there's a gash on his eye. He's screaming in pain, while Ettore is yelling at him.

Dibs administers a random syringe in Ettore getting him immobile enough for Monte and Tcherny to get him to medbay and strapped down. Jarvis is taken away as well to be checked out.

It's a couple hours before you get the chance to talk to Boyse.

She said she had heard arguing coming from the laundry room. She was originally supposed to be there with Ettore but Jarvis had practically begged her to switch with him.

When she arrived Ettore was hunched over clutching his stomach and his shirt was soaked in blood. Jarvis had stabbed him with a shard of glass.

Wait...what? Jarvis stabbed Ettore?

Boyse had screamed catching Jarvis off guard giving Ettore enough room to knock him to the ground. He picked up the shard of glass Jarvis had dropped and stabbed him in the eye. Then he wouldn't stop punching him until someone pulled him off.

That's all she would tell you before wandering off humming that same tune that had been stuck in your head.

Jarvis must have planned it after whatever happened yesterday between the two of them. How stupid could he have been?

Despite your best efforts, Dibs shooed you off every time you tried to get into medbay with threats of upping your dose.

The next two days are spent on edge. Dibs gives no information and tells everyone to continue as normal. Ettore is still in medbay but you know he's awake from the thousands of times you purposefully walk by to get a glimpse of him.

Days were hard to count up in space but by the time Dibs came to give you all new information it had been a week since everything happened.

Jarvis was in a coma most likely due to a head injury. Ettore survived and was healing nicely. Dibs went on to say she knew Jarvis started the fight. Ettore was still being punished considering he had gone too far and would be on lockdown for one more week as punishment.

On the fourth day of that additional week, Dibs wakes you up with a light slap to the arm.

"Come with me." Tired and annoyed you shove the covers off of you and follow after her. As you walk by you look into the other room and see Ettore craning his neck to look at you, his face drowsy and drugged out.

She walks you to med bay and unlocks the door then closes it behind you as you step in.

You look behind you confused as you see her walk away without saying another word. You're about to call after her but then you hear the faintest whisper of your name. You turn around to see Jarvis looking in your direction.

His left eye was wrapped in cloth, the rest of his face still healing from the bruises. His nose was bandaged as well and you could only assume it was broken.

You walk over and take the seat next to his bed. His eye would close every now and then before they would pop open again. He didn't look good and despite him being alive now you knew he would probably die soon. Either succumbing to his injuries or Ettore would come and finish the job.

"S-sorry." He chokes the words out. He sees the look of confusion on your face. What was he sorry for. "I left you behind. I sh-should have taken you with me. I p-anicked."

You sigh as you understand what he's talking about. For the longest time, you wanted this conversation. You watch as he struggles to speak again. You shush him and bring the cup of water next to his lips, helping him sip through the straw before placing the cup back in its spot.

"I meant what I said. I wanted us to get away after it all. I fucked everything up...managed to get away. I was in the clear but the guilt was eating me alive." He opened his hand wanting to hold yours. You place yours in his and watch as he brings your knuckles to his lips.

"It's ok Jarvis. I for-"

"It's not ok." He cuts you off. "I shouldn't have dragged you with me in the first place." He sighs. "I had a cousin of mine in the same prison as you. She told me you were taking some deal. So, I turned myself in and they offered me the same thing. I took it knowing you would be here. I came for you."

Your heart flutters at his words. Your brain is wracked with thoughts. Would Ettore do the same for you? Give up the chance of staying on earth for you? Jarvis was in the clear, he could have taken that money and ran off and lived his best life. But he gave it all up just so he could be with you again.

"Ok, that's enough. Let's go." Dibs snaps you out of your thoughts. You give Jarvis a quick kiss with promises to come back.

While leaving you knock over a tray of stuff which Dibs curses you for as she cleans it up. She shoves you out of the office and walks you back to your bunk before heading off to her bed. In the dark room, you grip the key you snagged off her desk.

The next day goes by ever so slowly. Everything feels like it's being dragged on. In your downtime, you visit Ettore who seems still too drugged up to even say anything but he does his best to keep his eyes open so he can watch you.

You feel relieved when nighttime finally comes. You listen to the hum of the ship as you wait until you think everyone has gone off to bed. When you finally feel as though everyone's asleep you retrieve the key you shoved in the seams of your mattress and slip off your bed quietly walking towards med bay.

You unlock the door and step inside slowly closing the door behind you. Taking back the seat next to Jarvis' bed you gently brush his hair out of his face. It takes a couple minutes before he finally opens his eyes and looks at you.

You're reading the chart next to his bed. Catching up on everything Dibs hadn't told you.

"Not good to read your loved one's chart." You smile and put the chart back in its spot.

"How are you feeling?" You hold his hand.

"Like im dying." Though he has a smile on his face one doesn't reach yours. After reading his chart and Dibs' notes you know that even she doesn't see any progress. "Come on. Lighten up."

"Not funny." You gently rub your fingers over his hand.

"...I want to talk to you about something." You straighten up and nod. "It's about Ettore." You sigh already over whatever he's about to say. "Hey. Drop the attitude. I may have one eye but I can still see your brattiness."

His other hand grabs something from under the covers before he flips your hand over and places something in your palm. It was a syringe.

"It's a strong agent. Can stop the heart. Got it off Dibs." You stare at him in disbelief. "He's dangerous. And you're the only one who could get close enough to him to administer it. Please, it's for your and all the other women's safety."

Was he being fucking serious?! He wants you to kill Ettore...

"You really think you can convince her to kill me?" Everything freezes as you hear his voice. You look at Jarvis's face which is filled with fear. You turn around and see Ettore standing in the doorway.

You stand up as he walks in locking the door behind him.

"Ettore don't-"

"You're no good for her. I've read your file." You tell Jarvis to shut up but he doesn't listen. "She deserves better than degenerate trash."

You could literally see the anger radiating off Ettore.

"She ran from you and came to me. While you were rotting away I was fucking her." God you wished he would shut the fuck up.

"Jarvis that's enou-"

"No, it's not. Don't spare his feelings. Tell him how much you loved it. How many nights we spent together, my dick buried deep in you. He got locked up searching for the real thing not even knowing you were too busy getting your back blown out to worry about him."

Ettore started walking over and you stepped in front of him placing your hands on his chest.

"Please...don't." He looked down at you and ran his thumb over your lips as the other hand came to rest on your hip.

"Get away from her." Jarvis was seething as he watched Ettore touch you.

"He thinks he owns you, love" Ettore smirks as he turns you around bringing your back right up against him. He tilts your head to the side. "He thinks he knows you." He brings his lips to your neck gently biting the area then soothing the burn with his tongue. "The fucking idiot can't even see how every part of you belongs to me."

He pulls your head back by your hair to which you wince.

"Let go of her." Though Jarvis wasn't restrained whatever nighttime sedatives Dibs was giving him kept him weak enough that he couldn't muscle up the strength to even sit up.

Ettore laughs mockingly at his sad attempt. He watches Jarvis struggle as his hand comes around and dips under your sleep shorts. He nibbles on your ear as he runs a finger through your folds.

"She's already wet for me." You can feel him smile. "I wonder. How many times did she have to fake an orgasm for you? Or imagine it was me fucking her to get her through the night?"

His finger circles lazily around your clit. his other hand coming up to rest on the side of your neck, his thumb slipping your mouth to pacify your moans.

"You don't know the first thing about her. You don't know how she likes it rough. How she will squirm and shy away but in reality she wants more. Her favourite position, angle, even all her dirty little kinks." He slowly slips two fingers in. "You were a distraction, a way for her to try and forget me." His fingers curl right into that lovely spot, teasing it. "But don't worry. I'll show you how much my girl loves me."

Ettore pushes you forward laying you against the bed over Jarvis' legs. Too far out of his reach for him to try and get Ettore off you.

He wastes no time pulling your shorts and his own down. He gives himself a few tugs and swipes the head of his cock through your folds. A shiver runs up his spine.

Months. Months he had begged whatever higher power there was that he could find his way back in between your legs again and it was finally happening. And despite him wanting to just fuck you like he used to there would be time for that later. Now? Well, right now he has a point to prove.

"Beg for it slut." His hand comes down on your ass hard earning him a whimper. He turns your head so you are looking in Jarvis' direction. His face is solemn as he looks down at you.

You want to feel bad, you really do. But the excitement at finally getting fucked the way you needed to was all too much.

Another hard slap accross your ass.

"You left me and thought you could replace me?" Another slap. "Do you know how badly I missed you? I know she missed me too." You feel just the tip slip past your folds. "Come on. Don't make her wait any longer."

You give Jarvis a sorry look.

"Please..." You feel the sting of another slap in the same spot.

"You know that's not what I want." He watches the handprint on your ass with a smile on his face.

"Please. Please fuck me Ettore. I need i-" You're cut off by the feeling of Ettore shoving himself fully inside you hitting your cervix effortlessly.

He keeps your head pushed down as the other rests in the dip in your back. The memories of the night before you left flooded your mind.

His pace is relentless and rough. You bite down on your lip probably drawing blood just to keep your moans from being too loud.

"Left without saying goodbye. Didn't even give me a chance. But don't worry, we're together again. And you can't leave this time."

You're practically drooling and crying on Jarvis' leg from how good this all feels. You open your eyes and look up at him. He's staring at your face and your body being brutalized by Ettore.

"You see Travis?" Ettore smirks as Jarvis glares at him. "See how her body responds to me? See how she arches just because she wants me deeper, if only you could feel how she spasms around me begging for my cum. Tell him you want it love."

He leans down and licks a bit of sweat off your back slowing his thrusts down and kissing his way down your spine.

"Tell him how much you love it." His nose rests next to your neck as he breathes in your scent. Something he had gone way too long without. You feel his hand snake around the two of you as he comes to pinch your clit. "Tell him." You wince and try to squirm away but he has you pressed tightly against the bed.

"I- I want it ssoo bad. So fucking good." You're rewarded by Ettore as he rolls his hips. He lifts you up slightly and wraps his arm around your neck so your head rests in the cook. One thing Ettore always took advantage of was your height difference. it made it easier for him to move you around like his own personal sex doll.

He squeezes ever so slightly, not enough to restrict your airflow but enough for you to feel some pressure. He kisses the side of your face.

"Good girl. Don't worry I'm gonna give it to you. Gonna show Jarvis how it's done and your gonna cum real hard for me okay?"

You mewl incoherent words back, too fucked out to keep talking. He stays deep in you only moving enough so he can keep hitting your G-spot repeatedly. His other hand comes around to circle your clit.

"Come on baby. Cum for me. Cum for me so I know you're sorry for leaving. I'll forgive you if you cum all over my dick." You lock eyes with Jarvis, it's only now you see the obvious print of his cock under the covers, clearly hard from what he's watching. "Be my good slut and cum."

And that's all it takes. Ettore holds you up as your knees give in and your body shakes. He coos in your ear but doesn't stop until he empties himself balls deep. Ettore kisses the side of your face muttering words of "good girl" and "my baby".

He helps you put your shorts back on and turns you around pulling you into a passionate kiss. His eyes watch Jarvis who stares, jealousy behind his pupils. Ettore pulls away and smiles down at you.

"You're gonna be good for me, you're gonna go back to your bunk and go to sleep. I'll take care of this." Your heart sinks as you understand his words but you know there's no arguing with him. Either he will do this with you in the room or with you gone. "Go on."

You look back one last time at Jarvis who now looks terrified.

"Wait! Please don't...call for help!" Jarvis pleads with you but Ettore already knows you won't listen to him you turn back around facing your back to him. "Fuck! I was good to you!"

You step on your toes and kiss Ettore on the cheek before going around him to leave.

You hear Jarvis' pleas for you to not leave him alone. He begs for you to listen about how sorry he is, and how much he loves you.

But no one will love you as much as Ettore.

Fuck Love

No one would ever adore you like Ettore does. And he's all you need.

A/N: Again sorry this took me so long to get out to you guys! I am back now and I have SOO many ideas for Ewanverse!

But it's finally over!! I actually loved this ending! And I feel so confident about uploading this so I hope you guys love it too!

Fuck Love Taglist: @scarletbedlam @fan-goddess @qyburnsghost @sadgirlelenora @dixie-elocin

Gen Taglist: @valeskafics @thought--bubble

If you'd like to be added to any of my taglist please let me know!

#ewan mitchell verse #ewan nation #ewanverse #ewan mitchell #ewan mitchell fanfic #ettore x reader #ettore high life #ettore #ettore smut

[surshica]

NINTENDO SWITCH !

SEVENTEEN - my little pony

masterlist <3

borders will indicate when it’s time to read the written portion!! + please excuse anything grammatically incorrect and any typos !!

﹙ᴗ﹏ᴗ﹚･｡ ⁺ ✦

yn came back to the room and placed four hot chocolates on a mini table sitting down near heiya and usagi. she took small sips of the hot chocolate; the warm chocolate taste warmed up her somewhat cold body. slight chills went down her spine due to the contrast of the heat and cold in her body. the other girls were enjoying it as well, heiya looked over at yn—letting out a small sigh before running her fingers through her hair to get rid of the knots. “ynn~”

yn looked at her with a weird expression, she knew she wanted something with that tone and they were going to be questions about chishiya. “yes heiyaaa~” the tone was the same as hers with slight mockery in it. “can you tell us what happened between you and chishiya~” heiya shook yn gently. “in return we’ll have kuina talk about how her and ann got together!!” usagi chimed in; she already knew what happened but usagi still wanted the other girls to know.

yn grumbled at first but she caved in, her door was open since her roommate was literally just her cousin. she had noticed mira was leaning against the doorframe interested in the story time too. “well..chishiya and i believe it or not are just friends.” yn smiled clasping her hands together, kuina groaned facepalming herself while usagi started laughing, heiya she had a deadpanned look on her face. “don’t give us that my little pony bullshit..” kuina huffed while heiya shook yn a little harder.

yn started laughing, “ok ok i’ll tell you guys..i cant even say dont tell anyone because i feel like everyone knows something..” yn shrugged, taking another sip of hot chocolate. “well to be honest and to be quiet fair i don’t even know what we are??” yn even questioned it herself, “i thought we were rivals but now? i feel yeah..” yn didn’t know words to how describe her feelings.

she looked at the girl who were all staring at her to give what she wanted, a small smile formed on her lips, “i have liked that stupid blonde mf since middle school and yet i still can’t find the right enough courage to tell him,” “i feel as if i need to be a step ahead of him especially in academics, though the is quite hard” yn let out a low chuckle.

kuina’s eyes formed a smile as she started to giggle as if she met her favorite actor, heiya had a big smile on her face grabbing yn by her shoulders shaking her. “i mean the tension between you two is so painfully obvious..” usagi mentioned taking a sip of her hot chocolate.

“tension? there is no tension” yn laughed aloud, kuina just shook her head “babe i love you bit the tension between the two of you is very fucking obvious.” kuina sighed in a defeat like voice, “chishiya..he’s confusing but i assure you if you ask him out—“ “but i’m not going to ask him. why should i?”

usagi gasped, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOURE NOTGONNAASKHIMOUT” usagi was shaking her so much yn got dizzy. “IF YOU ARENT GONNA ASK HIM OUT YOU DESERVE AN AWARD FOR THAT ACT.” usagi had a distressed tone in her voice, yn had to physically put her hand on her shoulder to stop usagi from shaking her.

kuina and heiya looked at eachother with disappointed looks. “listen LISTEN, i probably have a better chance dating a rock then with chishiya.” yn tried to justify herself but that also had no justice. “why do you say that yn? you don’t know that” heiya questioned with a frown.

“he has like zero interest in a relationship, so therefore he would reject me simple!” yn crossed her arms near her chest acting like she put her foot down. kuina shook her head, “what about the time you two went to a cafe?” “he was being nice” “okay and the time he saved you from niragi?” “he was told to watch over me from mira..” “i call bullshit but that’s ok..how about the time you two almost kissed” “..well it was just a nice gesture yeah”

“yeah IT WAS A NICE GESTURE.” yn tried to convince herself that there was no tension and it was just friendly gestures. “if you don’t realize i’m going to slap you.” usagi deadpanned looked at yn, sending chills down her spine. “OKAY FINE. maybe he isn’t just being nice to me and MAYBE likes me.” a small smile broke out on her lips, “you know if it wasn’t for arisu something could’ve happened” yn shrugged off the thought.

“so would you consider asking him out?” heiya questioned the indecisive girl, “hmm maybe…maybe yeah.” yn has a small tint of rose blush form onto her cheeks.

mira smiled happily before walking back to her room, “did you hear that chishiya?” mira whispered so yn and the girls couldnt hear her, “yeah..” he sounded dry but his face said otherwise. his face has never felt warmer before. since they were on facetime mira was able to see it, she let out a small giggle closing the door behind her. “are you going to make the first move orr..” she left it open like a question, “maybe. but i think maybe i’ll let her do it.” a smile crept onto his face.

﹙ᴗ﹏ᴗ﹚･｡ ⁺ ✦

tags !!

pink doesn’t work

@crinklypink @flrtsbin @4pparecium @afckingswiftiebtch @em-asian @saiewithakatana @minyoungieee @eternal-gf @kimtaehussy @theinfaethablefig @elakari @too-many-fandoms666 @lastheavcns @pyrrhicgaze @andreeasancheez @hadesdaughtwr @Iserluver @urgodmoon @nmsl0v3r @lowilaufeyson @dee-dino-man @chiishiiya @444neapolitain @wroophruh @vensworld @starsval @dr3amscap3 @kuinaheartz @bre99 @cheshireshiya @eissaaaa @sollum @conny1111 @luvelyxp @shinobuily @gelliyo @fanfangying1304 @ikon-teen @stay-moa-army @bbyjackie @naegisimp @midlystupid @yvrikoo @chepoyo @luv4kuina @vernon-dursley @itadorim @vseqvt @shigamiryuk @wonswoorld @elisiumnie @abyloxk @asoullessentity @seventeensstrawberry @cupidsaster @bubblycloudy

#chishiya x reader #aib chishiya #alice in boderland x reader #chishiya shuntaro #chishiya headcanons #chishiya fluff #chishiya imagine #chishiya smau #chishiya x fem!reader #chishiya fic #꒰ა 🎧 ─ nintendo switch : .. ꒱ #- surshica ♥︎

[subskz]

Tall girl anon back. Omg I’m not sure about the picture, it probably is but in my memory I feel like it was more visible, but then again memories can be wrong. And although being into the “masculinity” of body hair in certain places is one way of interpreting it, I don’t think it’s the masculinity part. I think it’s just the whole sort of naturalness(???) of it. Humans are animals and things like pubic and pit hair are signs of hormones and sexual maturity and the presence of it just seems very sexy in a “raw” sort of way that idk how to describe. Anyway….

So I need to get this thing off my chest somewhere and my friends probs don’t wanna hear it so imma do it here since we’re all horny on here anyway.

These memories keep coming back to me… I went to a concert at one point, not gonna say when or who, all that’s important to know is that it was a kpop boy group. And I had a sex dream immediately after. This legit never happened before. I’ve had sex dreams, but not after concerts. But anyway… I’d never noticed in videos, but onstage (I had great seats) one of the members was visibly smaller than everyone else, by a lot. I looked it up and the next shortest member was three inches taller than him (he’s 5’6”) and something about seeing this skinny, short, very attractive guy (especially in comparison to the rest of his members) snapped something in me. In the videos, you don’t really notice it but in real life…. Wow…Like, I need to have him. He is so small and for whatever reason that makes me want him even more. And I feel so weird for that very specific feeling but the memories keep coming back and I can’t get rid of it. I need to hug him, I need to pin him down, I bet I could pick up his tiny little body— he’s so skinny that I refuse to believe that he weighs more than me. And this feral urge consumes me. I want to hold his face in my hands and tell him he’s so pretty but I also want to see his face twisted in pleasure and gasping with his eyes rolling back. I want to hold his little hands in my larger ones in the most wholesome way possible and I also want to see how far my long fingers could wrap around his neck. I want to kiss him and love him and hold him and ruin him. Or even just have the most vanilla sex possible just as long as I could hear him moan with his pretty, high-pitched voice. I’m not gonna try getting myself off because tbh I don’t think that’ll be enough to fix this and as much as this feeling is frustrating, I’m not entirely sure I want it to go away. Anyways……

Sorry for the big rant. But if I don’t let this out it may consume me more than it already has.

hihi it’s good to see u again! if there really is a highqual pic of lix’s happy trail out there i hope we find it someday 🔎 i completely agree w you abt finding body hair “sexy in a raw way” that describes it perfectly! there’s nothing more attractive than humans in their most natural state, no makeup, unshaved, their natural scent etc ♡_♡ slight tangent here but when lino’s skin isnt covered w that awful pale smoothing filter and u can see his real complexion with all his little bumps n acne scars…..literally makes me drool

the way this concert awakened smth in you that u already thought had been awakened LOL it seems like it was quite the lifechanging experience 😽 he sounds so adorable 5’6” men are kinda the perfect size…plus him having an itty bitty frame on top of that so you could probably pick him up like he’s weightless and manhandle him if you wanted to…that’s the goal isn’t it <3 being able to eclipse a boy’s hands w your own and scoop him up in ur arms and hold him up against the wall, making him feel small, safe and helpless all at the same time

i hope ur brain stops tormenting you w these thoughts soon but i cant even blame u for being so hooked on it he sounds like a dream for ppl w size kinks ❤️‍🔥

#ask #tall girl anon

[sadsayu]

s/o has anxiety - xiao x reader

A/N! tysm for requesting! i hope this was okay :)

WARNINGS! mentions of suicide (only once) anxiety, a bit ooc xiao but i still need some practice writing his personality :)

reader is gender neutral.

xiao doesn’t understand a lot of things about you.

ever since being close to you, the weight of his karmic debt has been lifted slightly. he slowly but surely became more relaxed around you, and he was willing to learn some of liyue harbor’s new customs- even if he thought them childish.

xiao felt safe with you, but he didn’t understand why he felt uneasiness from you- even after you became his partner.

he could tell that you never truly felt relaxed, ever, and he was aware of the unkind thoughts that took over your mind.

xiao just didn’t understand what to do about it.

you tried writing down how you felt. maybe, you could put the thoughts that plagued your mind onto the page and get rid of them.

however, you didn’t quite know how to explain to xiao why you had multiple entries in your diary about the drowning anxiety or corrupting suicidal thoughts- so you decided to just deal with it until they got quieter.

this almost never seemed to happen.

the thoughts repeated in your mind like a broken record as you felt your chest tighten. you wrapped your arms around yourself to ease the shaking of your limbs, but it didn’t work.

you struggled to breathe as the world around you became endless reminders of the thoughts that were now being screamed inside your head.

your throat felt like it was closing up as you mumbled your boyfriend’s name.

“… xiao-“

you couldn’t hear his arrival over the ringing in your ears, but you could feel his eyes on you as you cried.

“(y/n).” xiao said quietly, sitting next to you. “are you okay?”

you cried harder, “i cant stop… i cant stop thinking about it. over and over.”

xiao didn’t know what to do, so he decided to do what verr’s husband does when she gets stressed.

slowly, he wraps his arms around your shaking figure. xiao closely studied your body for any signs that you don’t want him close to you. when you lean into his touch, he secures his arms around you and rubs circles on your back.

“what are you thinking about?” xiao mumbles, just loud enough for you to hear.

“that you would… that you would be better off without me.” you said, stumbling over your words.

xiao sighed, “that isn’t true. don’t listen to it. i need you.”

“you bring me the comfort i never thought that i could feel. you make me want to exist.”

you stayed silent, he took this as a sign to continue.

“i… am not good with mortal feelings. i may not understand, but i want to help you.”

his voice was unusually soft as he mumbled into your hair.

the thoughts got quieter, and you could hear his words even clearer.

“thank you.” you smiled, looking up to him.

his lips turned upward into what could almost be a smile back.

xiao kissed the crown of your head.

“do not be afraid to call out my name if this happens again.”

© sadsayu 2022

TAGS!

#genshin impact xiao #xiao fluff #adeptus xiao #xiao x reader #xiao x y/n #xiao x you #xiao comfort #genshin comfort #genshin x reader

[tojisun]

Sorry it turned into a depressing rant

Anon who asked about your fav studio ghibli movie here!

I love howls moving castle so much, I love the part when Sophie starts cleaning the house, I love how comforting it is

I love the sass from everyone, I love how kind Sophie is

I love howls line “I see no point in living if I can’t be beautiful” as much as it sucks I agree with him. I’m not smart so the only thing I can offer is my looks and personality to people I meet. If I’m not beautiful, then what’s the point? Sorry if it sounds shallow but when you have nothing to offer in this world, the only thing I can work on is how good I look and present myself. I know I shouldn’t think like that, it’s damaging

Beauty IS in the eye of the beholder, there will be people who find you attractive and there will be people who won’t. People you find attractive, others won’t, so sometimes I try not to think too much about it since we never know.

All my life I’ve been slow academically. My siblings are all smarter than me so I’m always the dumb one. I’m not skinny but I’m working on it, even tho it’s so hard, but I have to be skinny, my life will definitely turn around when I’m not too self conscious about my body. I know I’ll still have those negative thoughts and even after I’m skinny I won’t be happy but, as of now, I never leave the house, my anxiety about how I look keeps me from taking in person classes. I never want to leave the house unless I look good, because I don’t want anyone seeing me at my worst, I want everyone to see me as the best version of myself. So I never leave, my social skills have tanked since 2020 since that was the last time I took a in person class, and that was in high school 😭😭

I feel so immature and stupid, and people my age (19) are doing better than me. I just give up before I even try, and I’m so behind since I’m in my third year of college and I still don’t have an official major, I’m so behind, and last semester I didn’t take any classes cuz I was so depressed and embarrassed, since I failed two classes. It’s an horrible cycle of pity and dread and I’m scared I’ll never get rid of it. And I’m scared of talking to men, but I’m supposed to get married and have a kid before I’m 30 since you’re more fertile and it’s better to have kids young, and I’d love that but I’m scared my kids will turn out like me, disappointments. And I won’t know how to fix them.

So yeah… we veered off of howls moving castle.. my bad💀

re:

!! this got long im so sorry

first of: pls dont apologize! u are welcome to vent here in my blog, im happy to just be a bouncing wall to u guys (if my usually long responses arent what u guys wanted to see). thank u for trusting me (us) with this and im truly sorry for how late im responding

i do love those parts of howls moving castle! i never understood why howl was lamenting about his looks when i thought he looked beautiful w orange hair. orange used to be my favourite colour ^v^ it isnt one rn but i am still fond of it.

i loved orange even when howl didnt – u are correct that beauty in the eye of the beholder. beauty also goes a long way. it’s a horrible reality but when u grew up fat, u get told so many times about how much better life would be if u could just lose weight. i truly cant tell u when i stopped thinking so little of myself.

honestly love, its just so recent when i felt good enough in my own skin – blemishes n all. i never thought itd get better tbh; i thought itd stay this way but it got better. and im scared to promise to you a range of when it will get better, but i do know that it will.

u feel immature bc u are still young! 19 is so young so pls dont punish urself for feeling young, for thinking young, for not knowing anything past being young yet. as a younger sibling, ik for a fact im still so immature. it took me getting a job (during the weekdays) n going to uni for me to mature up, n i was 20 when that happened. so recent!

i also completed my associates slowly bc i was struggling in college! i once took a sem where i only had one class bc i was so overwhelmed that i had to slowly pace myself so i can keep going. high school babies u n then boom, u get hit w juggling responsibilities in college that kinda makes u wanna quit – but u didnt. u took a break and then bounced back!! my love, if that isnt resilience, then what is?

ive never wanted to settle down. i think its bc i thought id be gone by now that i just dont see myself having a family of my own so i apologize for not knowing how to empathize about the ‘deadline’ but u are just 19. before age 30 is so far away! u have sm to live for in between those years. sm to experience and to meet and to love!

also, not having a major yet is also fine! i declared a minor just this year – and im a fourth year already. pls dont worry. u have time – that is something i wanna keep emphasizing. u have time. it feels like the world is collapsing rn bc of fear and anxiety which, my old therapist told me, is a sign that u (and i) wanna keep going. that u wanna keep living.

and from what i could see, especially coming from me who wanted to just give it all up, that is enough. i know that the reasons behind u working on urself isnt a sustainable mentality, but hopefully one day u will wake up and own ur hard work for urself. not for others.

aaaa this got too long im so sorry, im being emotional on my end but i just want u to know: u are not a disappointment. u arent.

ur alive and ur making connections and ur trying ur best (even though it doesnt feel like that on ur end but u are!!) so how could u be a disappointment? and even if u dont wanna do anything, ur also not a disappointment. not even then.

ur future kids will be so lucky and happy to have u as their mom. and they too will be beautiful; they wont need any fixing bc there isnt anything broken to fix.

i love you. i dont know who u are but i love you. i love all of you.

#anon #ask #i am sorry for ranting. i dont know how to show u that i understand without ascribing life moments #thank u for trusting me #i hope this alleviates even a little of what youre carrying #take care <3

[tokusaatsus]

I HOPE I'M NOT LATE...KANATA + 29? (you already know who this is [heart hands])

KANATA + 29: putting an ear over their heart

warnings: none

As you lay down on an embroidered picnic blanket spread haphazardly across the sand, you feel wandering hands interlink with yours. Crusted as they are with salt and sticky with ocean residue, it should be an uncomfortable experience, and yet you don’t mind. The sea is as a part of him as you are, and you would have it no other way. Were it not for the ocean, it would not have brought you the boy sitting next to you.

The gentle sounds of his voice, lilting like a songbird’s melody, paired with the soothing crash of the waves lapping against the shore serves only to drag you further into the embrace of sleep. Your eyelids get heavy, and you give a slow–near catlike, one might even say–blink.

You feel your head drooping. Crunchy granules of sand catch in the ends of your hair, and you nestle your face into the expanse of Kanata’s chest, turned towards his heart. Vibrations reverberate through the shell of your ear, and you find your fingers tracing aimless patterns–the same wavelength as his heartbeat you are so attuned to.

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

“are you ‘tired’, love?” He asks, his voice like syrup. If you looked up, you know his eyes would hold that same sweetness. “you should ‘rest’. it is not good to ‘strain’ your body~”

You give a soft hum in response. “I’m fine. Just feeling a little… Oh, I don’t know. I want to spend time with you, and I feel like if I fall asleep our time will be cut short.”

He giggles, a sound like popping bubbles. His finger gently rests on your nose. “do not be ‘silly’. we can lie down together, and i will hold you so you have ‘sweet’ dreams~”

“My hero,” You agree, curling into him. Kanata raises his hand so you can burrow into his side, lying half atop him. There is sand clinging to you everywhere and you know it will be a pain to get rid of later, but he is nicely warm skin–ocean- and sun-kissed–that absorbs the rays of sunlight cascading down upon the two of you. “You’ll protect me from my nightmares, won’t you?”

“yes~” He says, pleased as punch. “if you are feeling ‘scared’, you should listen to my ‘heartbeat’ ♪”

You press your ear against his chest, listening to the steady pulse.

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

“Hm,” You say seriously, because a little teasing never heard anyone. “I can hear the ocean in there.”

“that is because i ‘love’ it,” Kanata tells you, just as serious. And yet, the corners of his mouth twitch: a precursor to a smile if you’ve ever seen one. People say he is something not-quite-human, but you look at this boy: he is as present as the seafoam sometimes, but he is as real and as human as you. His heartbeat says it all, in perfect sync with yours. “keep ‘listening’. what else do you hear~?”

You know he’s looking for something in your answers, so you try again. “I don’t know, what else is there to hear?”

Kanata cants his head to the side. “you don’t ‘hear’ it? it is your voice, after all.”

“Eh?” You blink, a little startled. “My voice…?”

“mm,” He pulls you down so your head rests on his chest once again, the steady drumbeat of his heart lingering in your ears. “it is ‘because’ i love you as much as the ‘ocean’. that is why you are ‘always’ in my heart.”

notes!

WC: 582 words

reze txt (@tokusaatsus) written as a gift for swanee @yumetokashite // @swantosa !! i love knsw and i love swanee and this was vv fun to write wehehehe :3 i hope you enjoy this~ mwamwamwa <3

#✒️...scribbles! #shinkai kanata x reader #enstars x reader #shinkai kanata #ryuseitai #enstars

[warmaidensrevenge]

Loss

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!plus size reader

If you want to read my other work you can find it HERE

A/N: Today I feel like I need to cry really bad. But I don't like to. It's just a big mess and I look ugly. So I wanted to write something a bit sad. So here goes nothing. I was inspired by Slipknots song Snuff and Jimmy Eat World song Hear You Me. Thanks for reading. As always feedback is greatly appreciated. Kay love ya bye.

Warnings: +18 Mentions of death, arguing, drug dealing/use, alcohol use, language, slight body insecurities, oral, smut, hurt, angst, and not proof read and no word count.

One shot

Summary: Tragedy makes you do shit you shouldn't. But your best friend doesn't give up on you. Eddie Munson will do whatever it takes to get you through it.

😔💔

When you first met Eddie he was 14 years old. He had just moved in with his uncle after his mom passed. At first you didn't like him. He was so loud and jittery. Constantly talking. But what made you actually not like him is when he kissed you on a dare. His buddies in the 8th grade dared him to kiss the 7th grade chubby nerdy girl. You were outside your next class reading Where the Red Fern Grows. You had started to cry when the little boy died.

Out of nowhere this kid with a shaved head came and sat next to you.

" Hey what's the matter?" He asked, sounding a little sad.

" Oh. Umm. It's just the book." You mumbled, wiping away your tears.

He plucked the book from your hands and looked over the cover.

" This is about dogs right?"

" Yeah. Kinda."

He looked at you and handed back the book. " You know a pretty girl like you shouldn't be crying. People will think you're a crybaby."

You looked at him to say something but he quickly kissed you.

When he pulled away you were so pissed. You balled up your fist and decked him.

He immediately grabbed his jaw and his eyes filled with tears.

" I-I.. I'm sorry." His voice broke.

You could tell he really was trying not to cry. You felt just a little bad. Maybe he didn't deserve to be nearly knocked out. But then again. This weirdo just kissed you.

You stood up and pointed your finger in his face.

" DON'T YOU EVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN! YOU CANT JUST GO AROUND KISSING PEOPLE!"

" I-I know s-sorry." He stuttered.

" Next time you do something that stupid. Ask permission!"

You stormed off to the girls bathroom and cried.

Ever since then you could not get rid of Eddie Munson. To him you were his best friend. To you he was merely an acquaintance. The rest of the 7th grade Eddie Munson was around. When he went to highschool he would get dropped off in front of your house just to walk you to and from school.

After school he would stay at yours until his uncle could pick him up. Which annoyed you like crazy. Sure Eddie was funny. But you could not stand him worth a damn.

But your parents did. You didn't know of they actually liked the dork. Or if they felt sorry for him being underprivileged. Either way they always liked having him around. Especially your dad.

You loved your dad more than anything in the world. It was because of him you gave Eddie a chance to be an actual friend. Your dad always gave you so much shit for being rude to Eddie. He would even make fun of you two. Saying one day you guys would get married and have tons of babies. Which you absolutely hated the thought of.

Once you got to highschool you and Eddie bonded more than you cared for. With the same types of problems you guys grew close. When he got older he calmed down. Not by much, but enough for you to actually be able to be in his presence longer than five minutes.

He put all that energy into his campaigns, and he started playing the guitar. Which was nice sometimes. He would go on tangents about how epic his storyline was for every campaign. He would get so theatrical that it was quite funny.

By the time you were a junior, Eddie was a senior. The bullying brought you guys even closer than before. He was bullied for being a "Freak". Long hair and rock music was not your peers norm. But for Eddie and you. It was. He was cool, and very nice. But others refused to see that.

They also refused to see you that way too. They saw nothing more than an ugly fat geek. Yes you were larger than your classmates and you didn't put on pounds of makeup. You liked to read and got straight A's. But you were not ugly. At least that's what Eddie would say.

Did you believe him? Well no.

But he did a lot to keep your mind from putting you down. He really did become a great friend. He was always there. Flirting away. Calling you beautiful all the time. Always play fighting with you, or teased you for being so darn cute. He did things that, from the outside looking in were suspicious. But to you and him you were just really good friends.

You never saw him like that. And to be honest you didn't want to. Sure he was devilishly handsome, and one of the nicest guys. But you just didn't see him that way.

He really was just a friend. Well until he wanted more.

...

He had been a forest firefighter for a majority of his life. And you could not have been prouder. He was the best dad in the whole world.

You were 18 when the unthinkable happened. You were a senior now and Eddie was doing his senior year over again. One afternoon your dad had gotten an emergency call and had to go.

See you knew your dad's job was dangerous. He literally fought fires with fire. He was well liked and a hero to everyone in Hawkins. But to you he was better than Superman.

Every time he went to work you made his crew promise to bring him back. And they did. Every time. Well until they didn't.

The fire was burning through the forest way too fast and with the winds blowing at 50 mph, it just got worse.

Your mom and you were escorted to the highschool gymnasium. All the thirteenth families of your dad's crew were there. People were freaking out and you weren't stupid. You knew something awful happened.

The captain of the fire department came and gave you the worst news you've ever heard.

Your father and his entire crew's bodies were found. They had gotten trapped and couldn't make it out. Your mother fell to the ground and wept.

You didn't believe it. It wasn't true. The guys promised to bring him back. You stood there staring at the door. Waiting for your dad to run in and say it was just a terrible joke. But he never came.

You were angry, and hurt. That you didn't know what to do. You knew your mom needed you then. But you needed something else or someone else. You needed your best friend. This shit you had planned on the drive to his trailer was stupid to say the least. But you need just a moment to get out of your current reality.

...

Eddie had been in love with you from the moment his lips touched yours. Sure it ended with a sock in the jaw. But he was yours then, and still yours now. Did you know that? Hell no. Did Eddie want to tell you? Absolutely not. You were his most trusted and bestest friend. He swore he would never do anything to jeopardize the friendship he tried so hard to build. He worked hard to get your parents to love him and he helped you even when you didn't ask for it. Which was hardly ever. You were very stubborn. But incredibly sweet. Though at first you resist Eddie's friendship. He eventually got you to see him for who he really was. That he wasn't a freak or scary or any of those awful things anyone said about him. However, he liked you and he had to keep you in his life. Even if it was just as a friend.

So he shoved his fondness for you into the deepest part of his heart. But then when you got to highschool you really proportioned out. Yes you were still thicker than most and he would have loved you either way. But you were growing up to be the most beautiful girl he had the pleasure of viewing.

Eddie's affection for you only grew. He always had to compliment you and touch you. Of course only if you would let him. He flirted a lot. He couldn't help it. The girl of his dreams was right in front of him all the time. But as a man of his word. He wouldn't ruin this beautiful friendship with you.

That was until all hell broke loose.

He was home that night. His uncle was at the plant as usual pulling a double. Eddie had just finished writing a new campaign when you came.

Eddie let you in, surprised that you came without calling. Normal when you came over you would call before. Giving him a warning to be decent. But he took it as 'Shit the love of my life is coming and I need to clean'.

When you came in you were off. He could always tell. But this time was different. This time you said stuff he wasn't expecting.

" Eddie. I need you to do me a favor."

" Uhhh okay?" He said taking a seat on the couch.

His eyes followed you back and forth as you paced his living room.

" ok but look. This is going to be...a lot...but I need you."

" What's going on princess?"

You stopped and looked at him letting out a long sigh. " Umm maybe I should just show you."

"Y/n?"

Eddie watched as you went towards his room. He was so confused. Normally you could talk to him. But you were being super cryptic and he was kinda scared.

He got up after a few seconds and followed you. He saw your shoes and socks in the hallway. As he got closer he kept finding more of what you were wearing. Picking them up along the way. When he turned the corner to his room he saw you in his bed.

The way you held his blanket up to your chest he just knew you were completely naked. Seeing your underwear and bra thrown on his dress also confirmed it.

He didn't know what to say. He would be lying if he said this wasn't a dream come true. But seriously what the hell?

" ummm princess. Are you naked?"

" Okay yes...I know this is a lot to ask but I really need you to have sex with me."

He was at a loss for words. Did you really just say that? Were you really in his bed? Naked?!

"I-I"

" Eddie. Please."

" Y/n? What's going on? We...we can't."

" Why?"

"I..."

" You're gonna tell me with all the flirting and all times you said that if I were your girl that you would take care of me. You're gonna say that and not want to take me when I offer?"

" Princess this is...this-"

" A lot to ask. I know. But I need you right now. I need you this way."

He always promised to be there for you. Whatever you need he would always be ready to help. Though he knew something was wrong, he had wanted this for so long.

Eddie closed his door and started to undress. He slid in next to you. Questions eating at him.

" Are you sure?"

"Yes Munson. I want this."

" But it's your first time."

You pulled at his shoulders to face you.

" yeah and I want it to be with you. I trust you. I know you won't hurt me."

You looked at him with such adoration. You were right. He would never hurt you. You were his everything.

His best friend part of him kept telling him not to. To talk about what was going on in your head. But his teenage hormones were yelling at him otherwise. See he was a virgin too. He had never seen a boob in real life. Sure he had naughty well used magazines under his bed, along with a couple of porn films he swiped a long time ago. So he knew where things went and how to be safe about it. But he wasn't about to admit it was his first time too.

He hesitated for a second before leaning in and kissing your cheek.

" Is this okay?" He asked

" You can do more. I want you to do more."

Your words made his body shiver. He kissed down your neck as you laid down. His hands were firmly pressed against either side of you. Your hands were clutching the blanket.

As he kissed across your chest a small whimper rang in his ears. He looked up at you worried.

" Touch me Eddie. I want you to touch me."

His eyes nearly popped out of his head when you pushed the blanket down. Revealing your ample breast. They looked so soft and were so big his mouth watered at the sight. One of his hands started to massage your breast.

He just kept looking at you in utter amazement. Your chest covered in stretch marks. Your breasts were spilling out of his hands. God you were more beautiful than he originally thought.

" Can I ... suck on them?"

"umm... y-yeah...s-sure."

He licked his lips before kissing one of your nipples gently. He then opened his mouth and swirled his tongue around it. Suckling with such tenderness. He lightly tugged at the raised nub with his teeth before sucking again. You moaned ever so softly that it gave him goosebumps.

Eddie knew even with his lack of experience, that it takes girls a little bit to get ready. So he was gonna make sure that your body was ready for him. Because his most definitely was. He had waited a long time for this. It's not like he didn't get offers. Because even though people saw him as a freak. Something about him being in a band had girls waiting for him after sets. But he never did anything with anyone. That was because he was saving himself for you. And though he knew you weren't in that state for him, he still wanted you to be his first and last everything.

He was still massaging and kissing and sucking on you when you lifted his head.

" Eddie. Now. I'm ready now."

Shit this was really going to happen. He was so nervous his hands started to shake when he was putting on the condom.

Finally it was on and he was now between your legs. He had to ask one more time.

" Y/n. Are you-"

" Eddie if you ask me again I swear I will leave."

Not wanting that he nodded.

" It might hurt."

After all this time you pulled him down for a deep kiss. He honestly hadn't believed that he didn't even kiss you. But God how badly he needed it. How badly he needed you.

Then it happened. You helped guide him to where you wanted and he went slow. He shut his eyes at this feeling he really couldn't describe. You were so warm and wet. And fuck so damn tight. He could feel himself already there. But he wasn't even in all the way. So he had to stop just to regain control.

Your body shook as his tip went in. It did hurt. But not in a bad way. His stretch was incredible. And when he stopped you wanted more.

" Eddie. God. More...please."

Eddie said a soft fuck as he continued to pushing through. There was a spot where he had to push a little hard making you gasp.

He was scared as hell. He looked up to see you covering your mouth. He stopped again to let you give him the okay.

Once he felt your body relax you nodded. He kept going until he felt a soft spot that made you moan so loud he knew he was hitting that spot.

The beautiful pain that caused made tears fall from the corners of your eyes. This wasn't at all what you expected. Eddie was huge. You hadn't seen or felt a penis before. But you knew that he was big. You weren't sure how it was gonna work but he was doing an excellent job keeping your thoughts at bay.

You need this. This comfort. Sure it was a dumb idea to sleep with your best friend. But at this moment, nothing mattered. It was just you and Eddie.

This felt like it was supposed to happen.

You felt this fire grow deep within you. With every slow thrust of his hips made something happen. And when you kissed him it felt... different.

You were clenching him so tight he couldn't hold back anymore. He felt your body tense again and he knew you were cumming. Your back arched and his hunched as he finally let go.

He slowly pulled out and watched you. He laid down trying to catch his breath. You pulled the blanket back over you to hide yourself and he felt bad.

After what you guys did you were still hiding from him. It was awkward for a few minutes. He got up to grab a towel for you. He took off the condom and discarded it.

When he went back to the room you were getting dressed. He pulled on a pair of grey sweatpants and sat next to you.

You sat there thinking about everything. You just had sex with your best friend. You could swear you would feel different. You thought you would feel bad for basically forcing him to do it. But you didn't. It didn't feel wrong. It actually felt right. It felt...good.

Then your thoughts went dark.

" Princess? Are you okay?"

You could feel Eddie watching you. You wanted to look at him, but now you were ashamed. Not about what just happened, but why it happened.

" N-no."

Now Eddie could think clearly. Did he do something wrong? It sure felt right to him. Should he have just said no? Was this a mistake? No. It felt too good to be.

He looked at you and tears were rolling down your face. He wrapped an arm around your waist and you just turned and buried your face in his chest.

You cried so hard that all he could do was hold you. You had never cried like this before. Your whole body trembled. Your crying made him cry too.

"W-what happened y/n?"

...

Eddie stood next to you two weeks later holding your hand while they buried your father. You were gone. You weren't you anymore. The smile Eddie had loved so much was gone. You were quiet and you cried all the time.

You had stayed with him every night since. He held you as you cried yourself to sleep. You moved like a ghost. He tried to distract you with whatever he could. But nothing was working.

You were a shell of who you used to be. Burying your father was the worst day of your life. You should have been with your mom those two weeks. But for some reason you blamed her for it.

Instead you stayed with Eddie and his uncle. You finally went back to school after the funeral. You roamed the halls like a zombie. Constantly running off to the bathroom to cry. Eddie would have to be the one to find you and calm you down enough to get back to class. He really was your saving grace.

Three months after the funeral you and Eddie started hooking up on the reg. You constantly found yourself either in the back of his van riding him or out in the woods where he sold drugs.

This day in particular you were laying down with your ass on the edge of the table. Eddie was on his knees between your legs going to town.

He'd been at this for the better part of the hour. You guys totally missed lunch and part of class. But it didn't matter. He was a god with his tongue. His touch made you forget about everything. He was working on your fourth orgasm when you sat up on your elbows.

" Munson we're gonna get detention if we don't go back."

He hummed into you, licking and sucking on your clit.

" Haven't even put my fingers in yet." He mumbled

You laid back down and moaned when he slid his long thick fingers into you.

Eddie couldn't get enough of your pussy. The damn thing was intoxicating. To be fair everything about you was. He just loved when you came on his tongue. He could live off your sweet nectar.

When you came for the final time he licked and swallowed every last drop. You sat up and pulled his hand to suck off your juice. Making his cock ache. He wanted to feel your walls hugged him. He wanted to bury his throbbing cock deep into your perfect pussy but you were right. You guys had to go back.

Once you put on your panties you hopped off the table and pulled down your dress. Both of you smirk and walk back.

" Coming tonight?" Eddie asked, shoulder bumping you.

" uh huh."

" Cool."

Eddie didn't know what was going on with you two. But he loved you so he was happy with whatever you gave him. He wanted you to be his girl. But this secret hooking up was making it clear that it was what you wanted for now. He wasn't complaining. He liked being with you like this and other ways too.

All he wished was that he knew what was going on in your head. You didn't talk about your father. Shit you barely talked at all. Which he missed like crazy. He missed the conversations and the laughs. He was determined to get you back by giving you whatever you needed.

It was almost unbelievable when you asked him to get high that night. You had never once wanted to smoke with him. Or drink for that matter. But when you came over you had asked.

When he came back you were naked. He has seen you naked countless times by now. But holy fuck were you so beautiful. Every curve, every stretch mark, all your perfect imperfections. He loved them all.

Of course he wasn't going to say no. He'd been wanting to see what you were like inebriated.

You sat on his couch while he went to his room to get his metal lunch box. He pulled out a perfectly rolled joint and smirked.

You were laying down with a small throw just covering your mid section.

" God princess."

You lifted your arms for him to come to you. He stripped down to his boxers and laid on top of you. His hands were on either side of your face with the joint and lighter in one hand.

" I thought you wanted to smoke."

" I do....But I want you inside me while we do."

" hmm never done this before." He grinned.

You pushed his hair back behind his ears and lifted a bit to kiss his neck. He threw his head back and groaned. You nipped at his neck and lifted your hips to his.

"Fuu.." he moaned when you sucked a small bruise on his shoulder.

He got to his knees and lit the joint taking a long puff. You went for his boxers freeing his cock. He leaned back down and blew the smoke into your mouth.

" Hold it." He whispered

He kissed your cheek down to your neck. You slowly let out the smoke and coughed slightly. He removed his mouth from your chest and took another hit. His lips met yours and he kissed you while blowing the smoke.

He guided himself into you. Sucking a large dark hickey on your chest. Doing this without protection was the new normal for him. The day after you got on birth control you threw away all his condoms.

He moved the blanket barrier because he wasn't close enough.

He did so. Taking one last puff of the joint before putting it out. He blew into your mouth then started to hit that sweet spot just how you liked it. He had you cumming in just a few minutes. He came too. Filling you up with his love. Cumming in you was the best thing in the world to him he secretly wished you would get pregnant so you would always be with him.

" Harder." You moaned.

Once he was done he sat back trying to catch his breath. The weed finally kicked in and you started to giggle. His heart was full at hearing that. It had been so long since you laughed.

" Fuck Munson." You said breathlessly.

" Y-yeah."

He got up and went to get a wash cloth and cleaned you up. You pulled on your panties and shirt. After you laid him his arms enjoying the high. You guys talked and laughed. Reliving all the fond memories you two had together.

"Do you remember when you and your uncle came over for Christmas for the first time?"

Eddie smiled. " Yeah."

He remembered everything about that day. He was almost 16 and it was his very first white Christmas. You and him were in your room. He was showing you his new Megadeth album while you finished knitting his beanie.

He was so happy that day. You had finally started warming up to him and hung out with him. You guys listened to the music and just talked about what to expect for your freshman year.

You had got up to open a window because all the cooking was making the house super hot. When you did you squealed.

" It's snowing."

Eddie jumped up and went to look too. He had honestly never seen snow. He grabbed your hand and you guys ran to the front door and put on your jackets.

It was really cold that night but Eddie didn't care. He wanted to build a snowman man. Out of nowhere you started throwing snow balls at him. He didn't want to hurt you so he just dodged them. His hands were freezing and you noticed. You went inside and grabbed his presents and two mugs of hot cocoa.

He put on his beanie and mittens and sat with you on the porch watching the snow fall. You leaned your head on his shoulder and he smiled. He had considered this to be your guy's first date.

" Remember we got so sick the next day."

Eddie laughed. " God yeah. That was so bad. I remember your dad made us his firehouse chili. It was so spicy I swear my mouth was on fire. But it did make me feel better. The snot just flowed out of me."

" Y-Yeah." Your voice broke.

Shit he didn't mean to bring up your dad.

" I'm sorry princess. I-"

" It's okay. Don't worry about it. It...it was a really great day."

He held you tighter. He wanted so badly to ask you to be his girl. But he didn't know if you were ready yet. All this time he was falling deeper in love with you. Sex was so damn good, he couldn't imagine it getting any better. You were an absolute goddess to him. He worshipped your body every chance he got. He thought that maybe you loved him too. You had to right? You wouldn't be doing this just to get your rocks off. But then again you were distant when it wasn't just you two.

Many weeks went by and you were changing even more. You had started drinking and skipping school like crazy. You stop staying with him, finally going back home. But you would eventually show up every other day. Wanting him to fuck you. Of course he did. He always wanted to give you what you needed. But you didn't seem to realize what you were doing to him. You were hurting him.

It was like you only wanted him when you were sad. And though Eddie hated you being sad he just wanted to help.

...

You were growing distant from everyone. It's not like you wanted to. But you did. Being with Eddie made you feel ok for a little while. But you wanted to stop sleeping with him. Because you were getting way too attached. It felt like every time you had sex you were getting used to the idea of him always being around.

You knew that wasn't the case. Everyone dies. Your dad made that clear to you. Sure you knew it was going to eventually happen but the reality of it was too much. You didn't want to lose Eddie too. He became too important too fast. And your feelings for him grew to the point where you loved him. Sure you "loved" him before. But not like this. He was quickly taking over your heart. And that was something you did not want.

Eddie has been an important person in your life. He was your best friend. But things went too far and you noticed that Eddie was getting attached too. And you needed it to stop.

So one night you confessed how you felt. You were always honest with him. And though you didn't want to hurt him. You actually wanted to be with him. But the thought of losing him was too much to bear.

Eddie was sitting on his bed listening to you say that you couldn't do this anymore. He was right. You weren't ready for a serious thing. It broke his heart but he could understand that. Not wanting to lose you too he agreed to stop with the sexual stuff.

However, he hadn't expected for you to pull away from him entirely. The only time he had seen you was at school. You withdrew from Hellfire and all the extra curricular activities. For weeks you were just not around.

He missed you like crazy. He tried to talk to you but you constantly scurried away when he got close. Why were you doing this to him? Weren't you guys still friends?

All his thoughts went back to sleeping with you. He knew it shouldn't have happened. Well it should have but not like that. He knew something was there. You had feelings for him too. How could you not? One night when you had fallen asleep in his arms you moaned an I love you.

He loved you so very much. And that's all he wanted to do. But you kept up the distance and it hurt.

One Saturday Eddie went to a party to deal some drugs. He had planned on going to your house after to try and talk but you were at this party. You had clearly been drinking. You didn't see him but he saw you. Some guy was kissing on your neck while you were drinking a beer.

Words couldn't describe the pain Eddie felt in his heart. Is this what you were doing these past few weeks? Had you moved on? He thought you said you weren't ready. Why the fuck would you be letting some guy be on you like that, when you wanted him?

He was so angry that he was ready to beat the shit out of the guy. But that's when he saw who it was. Billy Hargrove. His dad was one of the crew members with your dad.

Eddie put two and two together. You attached yourself to the only person who knew how you felt. He took off cursing the world for not being the one you needed.

He went home balling his eyes out for you. For all the pain you felt that he couldn't help you with. He cried for himself. How much it hurt him to see you with someone else.

...

It was stupid. Letting Billy touch you. You were already four beers, three shots of tequila in when he started to hit on you.

You really weren't paying too much attention to him, until he started getting closer. Soon you were leaning up against a wall with him kissing on your neck. Then he started touching you everywhere.

" Let's go find a room" he mumbled into your neck.

" Umm y-yeah. Why don't...don't you find an empty one. And-and I'll get us more drinks."

He nodded and left. You stumbled to the kitchen looking for the phone. The numbers were blurry and the room started to spin a little. It took you two times to punch in the right number.

"Hello?"

" M-munson"

" Y/n?"

" H-hey. I'm at erm... a party. And I don't...feel good."

" I'll be right there."

You didn't even bother to hang up the receiver. You made it outside and sat down. The spinning got worse causing you to throw up. After you just laid on the ground and fell asleep.

Eddie sped over to find you passed out on the grass.

" Fuck!"

He ran to you holding you in his lap. You reeked of booze and vomit.

" Princess? C'mon. Wake up."

You groaned slightly. " Ed-Eddie?"

" Yeah baby. I'm here. C'mon. Let's go home."

Once he got to his trailer, he helped you into the showered. He got in too washing you up. He had pulled out a pair of pajamas you left there and helped you get dressed. He brushed your hair and braided it before you guys laid down.

He watched you all night. Making sure you were okay. You had started talking in your sleep. Which normally you just moaned a little.

" Eddie please don't go."

He hugged you tighter. " I'm not going anywhere."

"I...love you."

He knew it was just sleep talking but he waited so long to hear those words come from you again. He kissed your forehead.

" I love you y/n."

...

Sometime in the very early morning he fell asleep. But when he woke up you were gone. He tried calling you. He even went to your house. But no one was there.

It wasn't until Monday when he saw you at school. He tried to talk to you all morning but for some reason you kept avoiding him. Even in the classes you had together you didn't even look at him. You were breaking his heart.

During lunch he couldn't take it anymore. He needed this conversation to happen.

He looked everywhere for you to no avail. That was until he found you in the parking lot. You were in Billy's car doing something. As he got closer he saw exactly what you were doing.

You had a rolled up dollar bill to your nose and were sniffing some white powder. Eddie freaked the fuck out. He pulled open the door.

"Y/N WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!"

"Mun-"

He pulled you out by your arm, dragging you towards his van.

" YOU'RE HURTING ME!" You cried out.

Out of the blue he felt a pair of hands on him.

Billy pulled you away and got in his face.

" What the hell's your problem man?! Don't you see she doesn't want to go with you?!"

"FUCK YOU HARGROVE! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING GIVING HER THAT SHIT?!" Eddie shoved him and went back to grab your hand.

Before he could Billy tackled him. They were rolling around throwing blow after blow.

You were yelling for them to stop. A few kids came and surrounded you guys. You tried to grab Billy off but he pushed you away.

When Eddie saw you fall he got the upper hand and was now on top of Billy. Punch after punch. Eddie was going off.

Finally teachers came and ripped the two apart.

Everyone was suspended. Billy was a bloody mess and Eddie had a busted lip and a bloody nose. When you were all sent home you had a choice to make. Go with Eddie or go with Billy.

You made the stupidest choice. You could see the hurt in Eddie's eyes when you got into Billy's car.

...

Eddie was beyond pissed. How could you choose Billy over him? You said you loved him. What the fuck was wrong with you?!

When he got home his uncle was getting ready to leave. They had gotten into an argument about his suspension.

Eddie didn't say why he got into a fight. Just that Billy threw the first punch. When his uncle left Eddie went to the restroom to see the damage.

His knuckles were all bruised and sore. His nose had some dried blood. But other than that he was fine. Physically that is. Emotionally he was a wreck.

He cleaned himself up and changed his clothes. He lit a cigarette and went outside.

A familiar car approached. But he couldn't look at you. When you got off you stood a few feet in front of him.

" Eddie? Are you okay?" Your soft voice only served to hurt him more.

" What the hell are you doing here?" He said taking a drag of his cigarette.

" I came to see if you were okay."

"Why?"

" What do you mean why?"

" Y/n don't act like you care about me."

" What?! I do care about you."

"No you don't! You only care about yourself."

"Eddie-"

" No y/n. You have to stop this. Whatever you're doing."

" I'm not doing anything-"

" YES YOU ARE! Don't you see how you're acting and what you're doing is affecting me?'

Of course you did. That's why you were keeping your distance. The last thing you wanted to do was hurt your best friend.

" Eddie I'm sorry. I-"

" Don't be. Just fucking go."

You didn't know what to say. You loved him. But all you kept doing was hurting him.

"Do you really want me to go? Because I don't want to...We need to talk about this."

He took another puff. Now he had a choice to make. Hurt more or let you go. Letting go though wasn't an option for him.

He sighed. "Y/n look. Maybe the way things happened for us was not okay. But I'm glad it did. I know that what we were doing wasn't wrong...I've wanted you for so long that everything we did felt like it was supposed to happen. Looking back when we first met it's crazy to think about. I never thought that every day since we would be building a bond that was so strong. A bond that makes me want you forever. Y/n you are my best friend. And - and I know you're going through a lot right now. But I can be here for you. You don't need to get wasted or do drugs to get past this. What you need is to talk to me. Be with me. Be my best friend again. I can help you. You know I lost my mom too. You don't need Billy or anyone else. I love you y/n. And I need you to see that I'm not going anywhere."

This was exactly what you didn't want to happen. This is the reason you wanted to stay away from him. You needed him. But you didn't want to need anyone. You wanted to just disappear.

There was shit going on that no one knew. And with Billy knowing how it felt to lose a parent that way, he got it. Eddie lost his mom too. But that was years ago and she died from an illness. You thought he wouldn't understand.

But he did. He knew what it was like to hurt that way. He knew what it was like trying to drown out your sorrows with alcohol and drugs. Shit you were the one to get him to stop doing it so much. But things were changing now.

" Eddie as much as I would like to say that I love you too. I can't. Everything is so messed up that we can't go back. We can't just start over."

" I don't want to start over. I want to fix whatever is wrong."

" Eddie... we're moving."

The cigarette butt burned his fingers and he tossed it. He looked at you and was confused.

" W-what?"

You wiped away a tear. " My mom can't afford the house now. So we are moving to Arizona with my grandparents."

"W-what?!"

His world started falling apart. No this can't be happening.

" That's why I tried to stay away. That's why I needed too. That and I don't want to hurt you anymore...we can't do this... I'm still grieving for my dad. I keep making the wrong choices. And I need to get myself back. I can't love you. I don't want to."

Eddie's eyes started to swell with tears. He stood up getting closer to you.

" You love me though... You love me? That's why you keep pushing me away?"

" Eddie. I can't. I'm leaving."

He got closer. " No. Just admit it. You love me. That's why you chose to be with me. Have me be your first? Did you know that you were mine too?"

" Eddie I-"

" No princess. Don't deny it now." He was so close now. His body was pressed up against yours.

" You love me. You want to be with-"

You took a step back. "I don't want to lose you too."

" What?" He said taking a step back as well.

He could hear your shuddered breathing. " Eddie everyone leaves or dies. It's just best if I leave. And you move on."

" Nope."

Eddie pulled you into his arms. " I'm not leaving. I'm not dying anytime soon. And you are not leaving me without telling me the truth."

You hung your head shaking it.

He cupped your face with one hand making you look at him.

" Tell me you don't love me." He kissed your cheek. "Tell me the thought of being without me doesn't keep you up at night...Tell me that you don't always want to be in my bed. That you don't dream about me like how I dream about you... Tell me that when you look at me you don't see a future with us having kids and married. Because I do. I see all that with you...Tell me you don't love it when I make love to you...tell me you don't and I'll let you go."

Fuck why did he have to say that. Of course you felt all that and more. But you couldn't. You shouldn't.

" Kiss me...Kiss m-"

Eddie pulled you closer and kissed you with everything he had. Another stupid decision. But God it felt so good when you're with him. He was your everything. Your love. Your best friend.

You guys ended up in his room. You were on top of him slowly rocking your hips back and forth. Your mouths attached to one another's. Eddie was right about everything. You loved him with every fiber of your being.

After you laid in his arms. You wanted to confess your feelings. But this was the end. It had to be.

...

You spent every night with Eddie until you were about to leave Hawkins. Eddie tried to get you to stay. He even had his uncle agree to have you live with them. But you refused.

Eddie was standing outside of your house. You guys had just finished packing up the moving van. You said your goodbyes last night. But he couldn't let you leave without hearing you say it.

" Y/n. Please. Just tell me."

" What good would it do if I said it?"

" Then I'll know that you do. And I can go on and think none of this was a mistake."

You sighed. " No words can describe all the feelings I have for you. You have shown me what love really is. That it goes beyond sex. It's the way you talk to me, the way you hold me, the way you touch me. It's how you always show up when I need you... I didn't fall in love with you because I wanted to. I fell in love with you because everything felt right. And for the first time in my life I didn't feel alone. I fell in love with you for all the reasons you showed me every single day... Eddie...until the stars stop twinkling, until the sun no longer burns, until the world stops turning. I will always love you. I swear I will... forever."

Eddie's heart broke all over again. He knew it. And now you were leaving him.

He gave you one last kiss before he watched you leave.

Maybe in another life or at another time. You guys could have been together. He stood there with eyes full of tears knowing you took a piece of him with you.

He knew you would never come back. And though he told himself that one day he would be okay. You would always have his heart.

...

@salenorona23

#fanfic #eddie munson #eddie munson x female original character #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x plus size reader #eddie x reader #stranger things #eddie my beloved #eddie x fem!reader #eddie x y/n #eddie x plus size reader #plus size reader #eddie stranger things

[xamaxenta]

Sabo has a pretty face haloed by soft pale golden hair, he could be anyone at all depending on the occasion

He’s the revolutionaries greatest asset when it comes to seduction missions, so great at playing whatever part needed he can work with any target regardless of orientation gender or identity

The only thing that may give him away is the broadness of his shoulders, the swell of his biceps, try as he might to be a sweet, demure creature of gossamer pearls and lace, it’s too obvious that he’s been trained for war

But he gets away with it, ensures their focus never leaves his face, as terribly scarred as it is its never taken away from his looks (unfortunately, because he hates these missions the most)

It’s okay. He comes back to the base and sometimes his lover waits for him in his quarters, always helps to have the anticipation of having someone to go home too, even though Ace has allegiances and a home away from him, Ace always finds time to come to him

And Sabo can decompress at last, make up gets wiped off his skin by large gentle hands, when he’s rid of it Ace kisses his clean face, his brow, nose, cheeks, corner of his mouth, nuzzles the edge of his jaw and asks if he may help Sabo undo his corset

Sabo agrees and settles on the bed and turns to give Ace access to the tyings crossing down his back, moans in relief when the damnabled corset finally falls away from the fake contours of his body, Ace’s palms are hot against his sides, fingers curling possessively around his hips

“Did they touch you?” Ace asks quietly, tone even and too low for Sabo to pick up on any real emotion.

“Yeah.” Sabo mumbles, cringing at the phantom feel of unwanted hands sliding up his stockinged thighs

“Theyre dead now.” Sabo adds when Ace stops breathing for a split second.

“Good. Otherwise I’d have to call in n tell Pops I’ll be taking a detour on the way back.” Ace says eventually and he breathes, loudly like an inward sigh of relief

“Touch me.” Sabo begs, he feels like shit honestly, maybe its the corset boning that rubbed against his ribs wrong, maybe its the way another man’s mouth felt on his navel, wrong, disgusting

“You need to tell Dragon to stop sendin you on these missions.” Ace murmurs, but obeys, slides his hands down Sabo’s thin hips and along his thighs, chasing away the slimy feeling he’d been left with for the past forty hours.

“Cant.” Sabo sighs, spreading his stockinged thighs, lolls his head back until Ace’s powerful shoulder supports his neck, watches detachedly but not without growing heat in his gaze as Ace unsnaps the garters holding up the pretty satin stockings.

“Why not?“ Ace’s anger, annoyance, fear finally breaks through his previously calm facade

“Its for the greater good.” Sabo lies, its not. There’s plenty other soldiers who could take his place. Armani for instances was just as pretty as he was, if not more so with their svelte physique and androgynous style

“What, your own you mean?“ Ace adjusts the way Sabo sits on his lap, struggling for a moment with his lovers taller stature before having him sitting sideways on his thighs, from there he resumes rolling down the stockings off Sabo’s legs

“…” sabo says nothing, except choke on a soft sob, “burn them off.” He whispers

Ace hesitates, and Sabo closes his eyes so he doesnt have to see the look in those silver irises, a whimper leaps from his mouth unbidden when he feels heat concentrate at his knees and then the smell of charred fabric as Ace does as he is asked of

“Thank you.” The revolutionary sighs, finally naked, stripped down to his final core, a center that not even Koala was privy to, only Ace could see him at his worst.

“It’s not my place to tell you what you can and can’t do,” Ace really doesn’t want to let this go, Sabo doesnt understand he can’t he’s come back to Ace with the marks of another person marring his body and the pirate had never said anhthing about that, he’s got nothing but the ghost memory of his last targets touches

“But I think this should be your last mission, of this kind.” Ace says carefully, but the anger in his voice remains, the disappointment Sabo knows lurks behind that pleasant smile still remains

“And have another person suffer?“ Sabo knows its the wrong thing to say, its the worst possible thing he couldve said in response and Ace freezes up, Sabo can feel the way his body temperature, how his innate fire drops in shock at his mindset

“This isn’t about anyone suffering. This is about me caring about what happens to you!” Ace snaps, and just like that his fire surges back and Sabo clings onto him desperately, wriggles around in his lap until he’s straddling Ace, facing him because he cant run and hide anymore

“Then mark me as yours.” Sabo hears himself say

“What!? No? Im not fucking branding you!” Ace catches his meaning instantly and Sabo arches his back in the way he knows people like, in the way Ace is weak for —

“Stop—“ Ace growls, “stop that right now.”

“Or what?“ sabo goads, feeling rebellious all of a sudden and Ace shoves him off, throws him down into the mattress

“Or this isn’t going to work.” Ace glares at him, dark hair curtaining the deep crease of his scowl as he towers over Sabo who flushes like some virginal maiden (imagine that)

“Who says it does?“ Sabo snaps his teeth over the hypothetical bullet between them

“Fuck.” Ace groans, runs a hand through his hair distractedly

“Stay?” Sabo knows they need to sort this out, talk it out, sometime soon but hes now in the safe comforts of his room, with a man who loves him despite everything, Ace will stay

And he does

#saboace #xam writes #some… angst

[fanficshit0908]

Yotsuba Group x Reader Smut pt 1

hello people today we’re writing death note yotsuba group x reader smut because why not

SUGURU SHIMURA

i feel like he's the nervous type but he'll let his fantasies come alive if you give him the permission

my man is shy af at the start kissing and touching those are the kind of stuff he does very hesitantly because you know it's probably his first time and he's so scared that he'll screw it up

as you guys keep doing that he'll get hard easily because he probably doesn't get bitches like ever and simple stuff can turn him on easily like touching his abs, (not sure if he has because he looks skinny) pulling his hair while making out or rubbing your hips to his crotch

if you decide to give him a blowjob he'll again hesitate a lot like should he move your head the way he wants or let you take control? and when you say goddamn shawty do whatever you want he'll gently push your head and threw his head back as he enjoys every second of this experience with his dear

and when the main part comes he'll sweat like a fucking waterfall because it's actually happening he's probably losing his virginity to someone he loves so much so he slowly gets in your wet hole not gonna lie he moans quite loudly because its so fucking good how you take him so well and tight

he tries to go slow at first but then he loses his control a little and gets lost in pleasure he starts rocking you hard like the bed (or whatever you guys are fucking on)shakes and you're surprised because you didn't know he had that much strength the wet skin slapping, your moans and his fills the air and echoes in the room

as he gets close to his climax he fastens and hold you tight his moans getting louder the bed starts shaking even harder and he's hitting the best spot in you so you also cant hold it any longer

you undone quickly and he follows you

as you feel something hot shoot inside you

he looks at you exhausted and with love in his eyes he hugs you and starts kissing your face telling you how thankful he is and how beautiful you are while doing that he cant help but smile because it was one of the best moments of his life <3

ARAYOSHI HITORI

oki imagined that he wasn't married and you were his date

he acts like he's confident but when the actual moment comes he's literally dying inside

he would probably start flirting with you and tell you cheesy things but when you actually flirt back he's shook

so you start a hot making out session, sitting on his lap and moving your hips which eventually turns him on bark bark

so he lifts you up then throws you onto the bed and quickly starts undoing his shirt as you do the same you slowly get rid of your shirt and take your pants off then your undergarments tbh he's thrilled when he sees all of you and you can easily see his throbbing hard dick with pre cum on it

as you guys continue your session from where you guys left you can feel how bad he's aching to fuck you he starts touching everywhere of your body like there's no tomorrow

if you give him a blowjob he gets anxious at first but then easily lets go and moves your head easily he's literally melting and you can feel it

when the main thing comes he slowly pushes it in with a low grunt mixed with a moan

he goes slowly for a little then gets the pace he wanted as he lustfully kisses you like a hungry man that he is one hand hold your chest other holds your thighs

he cums quite fast thanks to the beautiful view under him he gets faster and faster then he shoots his seed inside your wet walls while he thrust a few times slowly making sure the cum is going inside well

as he collapses on you he holds hour hips and kisses your neck while you giggle

tells you how much he loves you and probably will make you a baby mama/papa soon<3

thanks for reading guys hope you like it also ignore the grammar mistakes lmao

#death note #death note x reader #death note x reader smut #death note smut #yotsuba group #yotsuba group smut #namikawa reiji #suguru shimura #arayoshi hitori #eiichi takahashi #takeshi ooi #masahiko kida #shingo mido #kyosuke higuchi #namikawa reiji x reader #smut #l lawliet #light yagami #misa amane #yotsuba group x reader

[lawluenvy]

you know what im no longer gonna pretend im one of those "learn to accept your natural self and beauty" people cuz im not cuz if i had the excess money that would allow it i would get cosmetic surgery in a heartbeat - mostly just a bunch of kinds of lipo but that's still a cosmetic surgery.

i don't need a nose job or to reshape my face or other plastic surgeries but i DO need to get rid of these flabby arms so that i might actually have shoulders again and i can wear shirts with normal sleeves and my thighs so i dont have to suffer through unbearable chafing rashes every time i wanna wear shorts and my tummy so i can just wear my favourite high waisted pants again without looking pregnant when im not and NEVER will be and just !!!

i wanna look like a teenage girl again!!! i hate looking so womanly i hate it so so so so much it's not a gender dysphoria it's some other body dysphoria it's an "i feel safer when i am small and petite and i can fit in small spaces and weave through crowds almost unseen and i have only mildly feminine curves but nothing overly sexual(ized)" and just GAHHHH.

i hate bodies.

i hate having a body so much.

im telling you the SECOND they find out how to upload our conscience to an android body i am OUT OF THIS FLESH SUIT!

i can modify it to look however i want! i'll be 5'2" and my legs will finally be longer than my torso and i'll have sharp shoulders so straps of all kinds don't constantly fall off i'm gonna have built in pockets on my thighs and my hips and fuck it -- I wanna pretty little built in designs on my "skin" that aren't just tattoos and just afdjdkakshfks

most of all i just really miss my favourite clothes. i miss my adolescent agender streetwear. i miss how baggy clothes would swallow me up so you can hardly tell i have a shape at all - now that just cant be done. i cant hide my shape like i used to when i want to - that option has been taken away from me.

im not "fat" and i know that and anyone who is would hate me for talking about this but i am solidly mid-sized now and have been for a couple of years and i just refuse to accept it. i cant. i cant i cant i cant.

i know a lot of it is still ingrained fatphobia cuz lord knows if your waist is not 0-4 then you're too fat for modern society!!!! but gods i just dont even care i just CANT bring myself to care when it's not just that im uncomfortable with how others might perceive me and how the media wants me to perceive myself (beyond my issues with being seen as a mature woman which i just REALLY CANNOT think about or address cuz it will be awful always) --

it's more than that cuz im just genuinely uncomfortable!!! it's not like i grew up this way and have had years to get used it and haven't known any other way-- i had to replace my whole wardrobe! my beautiful collection of fashion that i spent $100s on from high school to third year university! the clothes i thrifted from shimokitazawa in japan! the fucking inability to wear shorts in the summer and getting the worst fucking swamp ass in the slightest degrees of hot weather and being unable to bend and twist my body without a roll of fat getting squished and pinched and genuinely hurting and causing me pain and i just cant.

i cant get used to this.

i dont know how to change this.

i dont know how to get rid of it.

im on so many meds now and they have forced me to sacrifice my body for my brain and it's only barely worth it cuz at least i only wanna kill myself 10% of the year now but as of 2023 the adverse effects it has had on me physically is coming right back around to bite me in my giant ass and so far i have spent all of it just wanting to die and to disappear because i am so unhappy with myself and i cant express myself anymore beyond dying my hair.

hair dye is the only thing i have left.

it's stupid but it matters so much to me. as someone who was so heavily policed on my appearance growing up in the environment that i did - ever since leaving the church, learning to express myself through fashion has been so important to me and now the very mental illnesses the church exacerbated in me is taking that away nearly a decade after i escaped

it always comes back. the damage that upbringing did to me will never be undone.

the worst part is knowing it's too late. going off my meds now wouldn't fix it. my body has been permanently altered. there's no magic pill that will fix this problem for me and because of my emotional magic pills - no reasonable exercise routine or diet change will fix this either

i worked a hard labour job for a whole year and i didnt eat much and i barely noticed a difference.

it's just gone.

the body i finally learned to love after being taught to hate it all my life is gone.

i am once again stuck with and trapped in something i hate.

and i don't WANT to love it. i don't WANT to accept it because i shouldn't have to!!!

i just wanna be small.

dear gods it's more than just about being skinny again - i want to be small

it's not enough that my fiancé tells me he likes that im chubby- he could say it a million times over and over again assuring me that no matter what i'm still beautiful to him at least but it will never be enough cuz i don't care if other people still think im pretty or beautiful or sexy *vomit* (thank the gods he knows not to use that word with me) ---

no one else's opinions matter!!!

i hate it! i hate it i hate it i hate it and i hate it even more knowing that on some level my new curves are actually more attractive to people and if i only found the right style of clothing then objectively yes i would look good but

I DONT CARE!

i dont like it!

i like my old clothes.

i dont want to learn how to dress this body because i dont like it!

it doesn't matter what anyone says because i feel ugly even though i know im not.

but i look in the mirror and i look at my closet and i see the couple of clothes im hanging onto deluding myself into thinking one day i might be able to wear them again without them looking trashy cuz they dont suit my new shape ----- and i just want to claw all of it off!!! everything!!!

i want rip through this skin, crawl out of my flesh and emerge something else entirely even if it's terrifying to anyone else i! don't! care!

because at least i would like it.

maybe i would look like a witchy tiny twig that might crawl out of your TV screen all cracking bones and pale skin --- but at least I would be happy because it would be me.

the me that i used to love.

#arrie rants #personal #text #mine #body negativity #asexual #weight #body image #suicide #depression #fat #meds

[chelleztjs18]

Hello you mrs. used to be a party goer lefty eyebag 😅

Well, make sure you don't pull it out or you'll get twice as much gray hair! Besides, if you look good now with your hair color, you'll probably look good when you get more gray.

I was just teasing about you not spoiling anything 😅 I like that you gave us readers a chance to explore the possibilities of what could've happened to Yelena. Same with the Natasha and R portions where you just skipped over the months, leaving it to our imagination and making it sort of free for all to think how they want to.

I kind of feel bad when I do that though, cause it was your story to tell and then me imagining different scenarios for the characters makes me feel like I'm cheating on the author's thought process... does that make sense? Lol

My favorite part with the whole fic is finding out R's past. It gave insight on how they became what they are now. And I like that in stories, cause if that wasn't in the story, I'd keep wondering the whys. I also enjoyed the detail when R was showing Natasha how to get rid of the body.

So with your husband, did you guys stay together for a bit before getting married?

Hey now, I could have asked for more songs but then you'd be writing all night and might have to make 2 to 3 days to post the response...like your stories..hahaha just kidding 🤣 but 600 songs is not that much to be honest.. how many genres of music do you like?

Wild old times huh 😏sounds like a crazy fun summer. But you never got into the pool at all? And you didn't mingle with any pretty girls back then? Cause you know, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas anyways lol

Hm, I'd have to do a rain check on my list. Summer for me was always about bbq on the grill and working lol

Okay next, top 3 songs that was your favorite from your childhood.

-CuriousGeorge

Hello hello old head who cant stay up late righty eyebag!😅

Sorry i fell asleep last night..(the irony after i call u old head who cant stay up late 😅🤣)

How r u today? Whats ur plan for today? I woke up with worse allergy than yesterday..i cant wait to get rid of that tree, i swear.. 😅🤣 i got headache all day yesterday n today i feel shitty.

Haha yeah i hv been pulling those greay hairs n it keeps grow back n i found more. Some of them even look like a silver-ish color of grey so i looks a little shinny when the light hits it.😅😅

Aw thank youuu.. i hope so too but burgundy red n grey r total different color though, so it could have a total oposite look.😁

Yeah sometimes i like to do that, leaving some space or part for people to imagine the possibilities (not pasta-bilities though 🤣)

Yeah i got what u meant with feeling bad about imagining other different possibilites that u have in mind.

Ohhh so u told me the good dark possibility that happen to yelena last night, so it means u hv cheated on my thought's process about the story??🤨 how could u!! I cant believe u do that! *soap opera dramatic scene* 🤣🤣🤣 just kidding just kidding.

Haha true, u can ask for more songs but u only asked 3 but u know what? Im gonna rebel a bit n i will give u another more of the songs that reminds me of summer (on the next answer because i need time to find it.😅)

Also it's not fair, u didnt tell me 3 songs that remind u of summer.. so give me the answer! 😅😆

I like any genres my ears found it good n enjoyable.. except the heavy metal or underground or other type of screaming rock type of genre. It drives me crazy. What about u? Have i asked u what kind of music u like?

Yep it was a pretty fun summer in Vegas. N nope, i didnt go in to the pool besides i think it's gross, i wasnt wearing swimsuit or bikini (dear god, no. 😅). I was wearing short tank top n a thin oversized shirt to kinda cover my body a bit, flipflop n a baseball cap 😅 n i was happy enough to stay at the bar have my drinks n enjoy the view of women 🤭 (in respectful way of course)

I didnt mingle with the pretty women because i was with my friends but i remember a few women smiled at me. But i'm pretty oblivious n i dont know how to flirt or if i flirt. one of my friends, he sometimes noticed n one time he said "how come everytime we r at the club, girls hit on u?"

I was like "what? They did? I dont know" 😅🤣

Well, i made out with a girl in the corner of the club there once.. but not too long because my friends were looking for me n kept calling me. 😅 what happened in Vegas, stayed in Vegas. Lol

3 songs that reminds me of my childhood, like when i was a kid? Or teenagers? Or how young? Haha. I didnt really remember my childhood to be honest. U gotta be more specific on this.😆😅

Next question?

Cheerio! (Not the cereal one)