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#i cannot tell you how compelling that is to me
belligerentbagel · 2 years
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even Atlas has only two hands
vent art
#this one's for all the teachers out there#horror cw#hands cw#draws#after 2.5 years of caution and masking everywhere; i tested positive for covid on wednesday morning (first day of fall semester) 😔#at earliest; i can be back in the classroom on monday#wednesday itself was an absolutely horrible 24 hours (but admittedly the anatomist side of me has been going 'ah! physiological data!')#but thursday and friday were a grim indicator of how much capitalism has rotted my brain#because after getting through 24 hours of a MASSIVE illness with undetermined long-term effects; i felt compelled to return to the#6-hr-sleep 18-hr-waking cycle that i was accustomed to; out of GUILT for falling behind in work#(note: i was NOWHERE near 100% back on thursday. i could have charitably been put at 50% - still headaches & fatigue & productive coughs)#a friend had to very sternly tell me 'you cannot solve structural problems through constant 80-hour-week heroic measures'#'you especially cannot do this when you are recovering from a debilitating illness which has the potential to remain a -#- serious lingering problem if you overwork yourself'#like. gods. yeah. it's not my fault that my classrooms are stuffed to the student maximum that our union has valiantly maintained#it's not my fault that the district only gave us one pre-semester prep day; meaning that my room & plans were left unfinished before day one#and - even bigger; it's not my fault that public health in the US is careening into 'can we pretend hard enough like nothing's happening'#my students will have a milquetoast start this fall semester. that is fine.#their teacher might not be able to stand and talk for longer than ten minutes at a time#i will do what i can. i still care about them. i am reading their introduction emails and smiling a bunch.#but i refuse to allow myself to be consumed in order to keep this fire lit.
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mamawasatesttube · 2 months
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just remembered how megfitz made tim think about how bernard is so much better than all the other relationships he'd "settled for" and was once again briefly consumed by rage. meghan you apologize to zoanne wilkins right the fuck now
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la-pheacienne · 24 days
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I'm reading the lord of the rings and I'm once again amazed at how... good most characters are. Like, they are genuinely good people. They are a bunch of kindhearted, gracious, caring people, coming together under adverse circumstances and trying to figure things out and find a solution and support each other through it all. Like Frodo and Sam meet Faramir and Faramir is a bit suspicious at first and kind of implies Frodo may be a spy, and then when he hears his story and he's like Frodo, I pressed you so hard at first. Forgive me! It was unwise in such an hour and place. And this blows.my.mind. He wasn't even particularly mean or threatening to him in the beginning, he's just such a kind, considerate man, recognizing the kindness and honesty of another man. And they're all like that. Even Gollum starts slowly changing (for a short while) when he encounters Frodo because that's the thing about kindness and humility and grace, they are contagious. They transform people, even a creature like Gollum cannot be immune to that. Like, you may consider all this simple and basic and I get it but, hear me out. It is quite rare to see that in modern media and it is also pretty difficult to pull off in a way that is not corny and simplistic. It is mind blowing that you actually don't have to present the entire palette of human cruelty and vice in order to tell a compelling story, contrary to popular belief. Lotr does the exact opposite, and it is just beautiful and it warms my heart. Especially taking into consideration tolkien's pretty grim growing-up experience, him being a double orphan without a home, raised between an orphanage and a priest and having no family apart from his brother and then the war and then he almost dies and then he's poor as hell and then a second war and it all makes sense somehow. He writes to his wife who is also an orphan two days before the marriage "the next few years will bring us joy and content and love and sweetness such as could not be if we hadn't first been two homeless children and had found one another after long waiting" and, yes, yes! The love and sweetness just radiate from his work, the entire lotr series is a little radiant bubble of hope and love and grace that he imagined in his head to deal with a dismal reality and then he just gave that to the world, and isn't that what imagination and art is all about after all?
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samandcolbyownme · 2 months
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This was originally going to be just a Sam one shot, but then i decided to make it a Sam and Colby one shot. I felt like Sam's cover was too good to change, so enjoy the buy one get one free deal lol.
Summary: Reader drives herself insane trying to think of this mystery man she cannot stop thinking about and completely caught off guard when there's two of them.
Warnings: SMUT18+, vampire!Sam, demon!colby, compulsion and mind reading from both Sam and Colby, mentions of blood and blood drinking, strong language, mentions of alcohol, reading feeling like they're going insane, hair pulling, biting, scratching, choking, fingering, oral (m&f rec), threesome w/ dp, dirty and cute pet names, unprotected sex, creampie, filth
Word count: 10.3k | NOT edited
Not a request
Bold italics are Sam and Colby speaking in readers head.Regular italics are scenes they create in her head & reader being compelled at times.
╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗
Have you ever tried moving on from something that hasn't necessarily happened, but no matter how hard you tried, you just can't?
Your mind, constantly replaying stuff in your dreams, random times throughout the day.
Hitting you when you least expect it?
Then, when you finally think you've gotten over it, gotten rid of the haunting thoughts, it comes back, stronger than it was before?
That was you. Right now.
You had this feeling of anxiety, feeling like something was going to happen. It's happened multiple times a day, even causing you to wake up in the middle of the night, sometimes gasping for air.
But, you can never remember your dreams and nothing ever happens.
You could never describe the feeling.
Your friends would ask if you're okay because you looked 'tired' or you said no to doing something you always have said yes to.
They knew something was up, and so did you, but you just didn't know what was causing you to feel like this so it was always 'I didn't sleep well last night' or some other lame excuse that they could see right through.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Your friend, Cami asks, "You've been, not sleeping well, for the last week or so." She tilts her head, "What's really going on?"
You take a deep breath, "I honestly.." you pause, leaning forward to set your coffee mug down on the coffee table, "If I tell you, you have to promise not to call me crazy."
She nods, leaning back against the couch, "Okay."
You pinch the bridge of your nose, "So besides me not sleeping well, I'll get to that in a sec, but it started last week, after we came home from Tara's party."
"Did someone h-"
You cut her off, "No. no. It's not that."
She sighs, "Oh fuck, okay good." She motions, "Continue. Sorry."
You bat the air, "When I came home I felt like I was forgetting something, but I had everything I took with. I also felt.. I don't know, almost guilty for going and having a good time? Like, almost like I shouldn't have gone? I'd don't know."
She furrows her brows, "That doesn't make any senses. I mean, I just.." she stops, "it sounds like you're feeling emotions you'd feel when you're with someone and you did something you know they don't like."
You shrug, "I mean, yeah. It kind of does feel that way, but at the same time if I really think about it, it still doesn't make sense. I mean, maybe I think about it way too much, but-"
She cuts you off, "Are you talking to anyone? Maybe someone who is a potential boyfriend and you felt bad for going out?"
You look up at her, "That's where it gets crazy."
She gives you a weird look, "Huh?"
"I feel like- okay. You promised not to call me crazy, so just.. hear me out." You stare at her and she nods and you continue trying to explain, "I feel like.. I already belong to someone."
She makes a face and you hold your hand up, "I know. I know. I just, I can't. I can't explain it really. I mean, I keep seeing this person in my dreams and it almost feels like they're who I'm-"
You shake your head, "That sounds absolutely fucking insane. I take back what I said, you can call me crazy."  
You laugh, slightly embarrassed at what you just said.
This is the first time that you've actually talked about it out loud, and it sounds a lot crazier than you originally had thought.
"You're into reading books, right?" Cami asks and you nod, "Yeah, I'm actually reading one right now."
"What's it about?" She brings her legs up, moving the blanket to cover up. You purse your lips, "It's a darker romance book, so it's basically about a guy who comes at the most random times but he has a big secret and all that."
"What's he described as? Like what does he look like?" She brings her mug to her face and you shrug, "Um. I mean, like a normal looking guy. Slightly tall-ish. Blue eyes. At first he had brown hair, then he bleaches it to blonde, what does-"
"Who's the guy you see in your dreams?"
You stare at her, "Oh shit."
She chuckles, "I don't know about you, and now when I say this, I speak from experience because I'm sure we've all have done it, but it sounds like you're experiencing fictophilia."
"What the hell is that?" You laugh slightly at the last word she said, "fictophilia?"
She nods, "Yeah, it's where people, real people like us, fall in love with fictional characters in a book."
"Can it be as strong as taking over how you feel?" You ask, tilting your head, "Because when I tell you, I could have puked from feeling guilty that night, I was-" you hold up your thump and pointed, an inch from each other, "-This close."
She shakes her head, "No, I don't think it can cause that. I think you just drank a little, too much." She smirks, "Those back to back shots definitely had something to do with it."
You sigh, closing your eyes as you nod, "Yeah, yeah no. You're probably right. I'm just definitely over thinking about it."
"And the not getting sleep will definitely play a part in that. You need to take a nap. A real nap." She smirks, "and stop being delusional."
You roll your eyes, smirking as you nod, "Yeah, yeah. I know. But these fictional men, Cami. They'll getcha."
She nods as she stands up, "No I know. I watched a movie the other day and thought about the one character for three days straight."
"See. My point exactly." She laugh as you walk her over to the door. She turns, "I don't think you're crazy. Fictional characters happen to us all."
She leans in for a hug, "But if it gets to the point to where you tell me you're dating someone who isn't real, I'm funny farming your ass."
You laugh, leaning back as you look at her, "I won't put up a fight."
You close the door after she walks out, turning around to look at your empty apartment. You flick the lock before you walk over to the couch, sitting down to switch on the tv.
You put on the show you were watching and you can't help but think about your conversation with Cami.
It felt like so much more than what you told her.
It felt too real, but you really didn't want her to think you were losing it. That you were crazy.
But you felt it.
After multiple days of trying to figure out who the guy in your dreams is and not having any clue whatsoever is maddening.
Constantly telling yourself, I'm going crazy, each time you try hard to remember his face and about lose it because you can't.
You have a feeling that he wasn't just the guy in the book.
He was so much more than that, to you, in your head at least.
But, little did you know, that he was a creature who had such a pretty face, a dark, dark soul - along with his friend.
You shake your head, laying down and getting comfortable on the couch so you can try and take a well needed nap.
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
You reach over the counter, smiling at the barista, "Thank you." She nods, moving on to hand out the next coffee.
You walk away, heading towards the door. You go to push it open but stumble out when someone on the outside opens it before you.
"Oh, shit." The guy lays an arm in front of you, stopping your stumble. You stand up straight, looking up at the blonde.
He smiles slightly, "Are you okay? I'm sorry. I didn't see you coming out."
You nod, laughing slightly, "Y-yeah. Yeah I'm okay. Thank you for opening the door for me." You smile at him and he shrugs, "Call it fate."
A loud thump causes you to jump awake. You sit up, slowly turning to look back over the couch. You blink a few times, trying to get your vision used to the darkness of your apartment.
You call out slight groggy, "Hello?"
No answer.
Your phone ringing causes you to jump and you let out a sigh as you look at it. You debated on not answering, mainly because you seen the movies.
You know how it goes.
But it was cami, so you answer, "Hello?"
"Hey, a bunch of us are going out tonight. Wanna join?" She asks, "We're going to bar hop." You bite your lip, quickly turning around when you feel a presence off to your left, "Uh, yeah. Yeah."
"You'll come?" She asks, excitement seeping from her words, "Great. We can all just meet up in the parking lot of your place and we can walk to Bar Eight."
"That's fine with me. I need a shower, I just woke up from a nap." You stretch your arm above your head, "you can come over whenever. I'll be here."
"I have to finish getting ready, too but I'll be over within the hour."
"Okay." You nod to yourself, "See ya." You pull the phone away from your ear and stand up. You walk over to the lamp, switching it on and from the corner of your eye, you can see a figure disappear.
"Oh fucking hell." You rub your eyes and sigh. You mentally tell yourself that it's the sleep deprivation or that you just need to distract yourself.
Maybe having people stay over after a night out will help.
You walk to the bathroom, switching the shower on and it quickly fills with steam. You undress, stepping in and sighing as the hot water washes over your body.
It feels like hands slid over your shoulders and you zone out.
You're walking down the street with Cami, having a small conversation. You're oblivious to the people walking towards you on the left side of the side walk.
Someone runs into your shoulder, knocking your purse off. It falls to the ground and some of your things spill out.
As you bend down, what you assume, is the guy who bumped into you, bends down to help you.
"Here. Let me help."
You look up, tucking hair behind your one ear as your eyes meet a guy with dark hair and blue eyes, "Oh, um. Thank you."
He nods, handing you the strap of your bag, "No need, I should watch where I'm going more often."
You laugh slightly, "Yeah, that probably wouldn't be a bad idea." He stands up and holds his hand out. You felt oddly trusting of him, so you take his hand to stand up.
"I'm Colby." He smiles and you nod, "I'm y/n."
You turn around quickly, wiping the water from your face as you only remember the hands on your shoulders, "what the fuck!"
You pull the shower curtain back, peaking out as if that was the smartest thing to do, "Go away."
Nothing in response.
You lean back into the shower and fix the curtain before doing your routine. As you're rising the conditioner out of your hair, you feel like there's eyes on you.
Like someone is watching.
You finish up, quicker than you thought, and step out.
You tilt your head at the neatly folded towel on the corner of the counter and stare at it, "Did I do that?"
You think hard but can't remember.
You grab it, snapping it open so you can wrap up your hair and put the other one around your body. You open the bathroom door, and nothing else seems out of ordinary as you step out.
You turn, walking into your room and going to your closet. You shift through the hangers, finding a cute top and a pair of ripped jeans.
You toss the towel down, quickly getting dressed before taking your hair down.
A very faint, she's so pretty, causes you to snap your head towards the door, "Cami?" You slowly scrunch your hair in the towel and shake your head, it's just the tv.
After a while, there's a knock on your door and you get up to go open it, "Hey guys. Come in." You smile as Cami and your other friends walk in, greeting you with smiles.
"I just need to grab my bag then I'm ready." You walk into your room, grabbing your purse and turning to walk out when you suddenly stop.
You don't know why you stop, but you just do.
Your mind goes blank for a second and then suddenly you're walking back out to your friends like nothing just happened, "Okay. I'm ready."
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
"So do you come here often?"
You try not to roll your eyes at the cringey, overused pickup line, "I mean.. kind of?" You laugh slightly and sip your drink, "I only live a few minutes away."
Why would you say that? You don't know him.
Your brows furrow, "That was weird."
"What was weird?" The guy still standing infront of you asks, making you realize that you now just thought out loud, "Um, nothing. Nothing sorry. Continue."
"No." He laughs, "I like weird shit, tell me."
You sigh, smirking slightly, "Do you ever.. how do I say this." He shrugs with a smile, "Just say it."
"Do you ever feel like there's someone in your head but it's not you?" The words roll off your tongue and you instantly regret it, "Wait. No. That sounds awful."
He shakes his head, "No I know exactly what you mean."
No he doesn't.
You close your eyes, "Almost like it's someone trying to talk to you, but it's just.." you laugh, "Confusing. Weird. I don't know."
The guy nods, "I'm so glad someone else thinks the same as me."
You smile and that feeling hits again. Like you shouldn't be there. Like you're about to be sick, which can't be from the alcohol, you've only had three so far and they weren't your usual double shots.
"If you'll excuse me I need to g-" you walk away, leaving your drink at the bar. As you're walking towards the bathroom, someone steps back from the bar, too quickly for you to dodge them.
You run right into them and sigh, "Excuse you."
"I'm sorry, sweetheart."
You look up and a blonde guy is standing there. Something about him causes your curiosity to spike, "No.. it's fine. I was just-" you shake your head, "I'm sorry, is this is weird, but do I know you?"
He shrugs, "My name's Sam."
"Sam. Sam. Sam." You repeat to yourself a few times quietly, "No, sorry. I don't think I know a Sam."
"Hmm. Well maybe we can call it fate that you just happened to run into me like you did." He smirks and for some reason, his words cause you to straight up your posture, "first off, you weren't paying attention."
You smirk and tilt your head, "Second off, I swear we've had a conversation before. I just-"
"Can't think of it right now? That happens to me all the freaking time." He chuckles as he sips his drink, "Are you drinking?"
"I mean, I was. I left mine back there with a guy, I was on my way to the bathroom."
"Oh, shit. I'm sorry, are you with someone?" Sam asks and you shake your head, wanting to say yes because it really feels like it, but in reality, you're not.
"No, no. My friend just left me there and he appeared and yeah. Nothing serious, I don't even know his name."
Why are you defending yourself to someone you don't know, you think, "I'm y/n. I guess I should have told you that when you told me yours."
He smiles, "Pretty name, y/n." He motions to the bar, "Can I buy you a new one?" You smile, "I think I'd like that a lot, Sam."
You step up to the bar with him and Sam flags down the one bartender, "Whatever she wants. It can go on my tab, Golbach."
As you look up at him, you get this odd feeling of déjà vu.
"What?" He asks with a smirk and you shake your head, "You just.. remind me of someone I can't really remember."
"What?" He laughs, "Sorry, I don't mean to laugh I just-"
"No, no please laugh. I'm so awkward." You cover your face with one hand and he shakes his head, "I'm sorry." He moves your hand from your face, "I think you're beautiful."
You feel your cheeks heat up and he bites his lower lip, "Can I ask you a question?"
You nod, "Yes."
He leans in, eyes focusing onto yours, "You will answer yes to my question and not question anything else. Can you follow me to the bathroom so I can have a taste of you?"
You smile, "Yes."
"That was easy." He downs the rest of his drink and slides his hand down into yours, "Follow me, princess."
You leave your drink, mind only focusing on one thing right now and you absolutely were not questioning it.
He leads you to the back, pushing the door to the bathroom open and lets you walk in first. He follows behind you, shutting the door and locking it.
He stares at you for a few seconds, the only thing he's focused on right now is listening to your blood flow through your veins.
"You're going to taste so fucking good." He moves in front of you within a second, hands on your hips which guide you back to sit you on the sink's edge.
His eyes focus on yours again, "Don't make a sound."
All you do is nod, moving your eyes from him to the wall behind him as he dips his head down to press his lips to the side of your neck.
Your eyes flutter closed as he gently sucks a spot into your neck, tongue moving over your skin before lifting his head ever so slightly.
His grip tightens on your waist as his fangs emerge, eager to be sunk into your delicate skin.
"Ready?" Sam whispers and you nod silently. He smirks and your eyes go wide, hands sliding up and gripping the collar of his shirt as his teeth sink into your skin.
His groan is muffled by your neck and his hands pull you in closer to him.
Your hand lays on the back of his head, mouth parted in completely silence as your eyes flutter closed.
The feelings you get is pain mixed with the upmost euphoric pleasure.
As you open your eyes, you see a man leaning up against the wall, watching. You can't tell who he is, as your vision is kind of hazy.
Sam lifts his head a little, "Go away Colby."
The guy, who you presume as Colby now, chuckles, "Come on, who says you can have all the fun?" Sam stands up, licking his now red lips. He lifts a finger, wiping away the blood drop that's rolling down his chin from the corner of his mouth.
"You can have your fun later. This was my idea, so I get first dibs, remember?" Sam glances back at him and he walks up next to him, eyes on you, "She is so fucking beautiful."
"Ain't she?" Sam grips your chin, "You can talk now, but you're still not questioning anything."
You clear your throat, swallowing to relieve it from the dryness and Colby sighs, "Clean her blood up, Sam."
"Why?" Sam teases, "Smells good doesn't it?"
Colby shakes his head, "You know I don't have control like you do." Sam sighs, rolling his eyes as he wipes the blood from your neck with his thumb, "Scaredy cat."
He smears some of his blood on the open wounds, getting them to heal faster so he can cover his tracks before he brings his thumb to his lips.
You watch as he licks the red liquid from his skin, "Mm." He leans back slightly before leaning back in, his voice going quieter, "So fucking good."
He presses his lips to yours and the metallic taste of your own blood washes over your tongue.
"Alright. You gotta get her back to her friends, they're ready to go to another bar." Colby moves back, leaning against the wall and Sam nods, "Do you have any questions for me, sweetheart?"
You smile slightly, reaching out to grab his shirt with your hands, "You're coming with me."
He raises a brow, "Is that a demand?"
"Only if you want it to be." You bite your lip, staring up at him as you continue to smile at him. He sighs, "I'll find you, babe. I promise."
You nod, sliding down from the sink, "You better." As you go to walk towards the door, Colby clears his throat, "Sam."
Sam sighs, "Shit, right." Sam quickly moves between you and the door, "I promise I'll undo all of this later, but for right now.." he cups your cheeks with his hands, looking into your eyes, "Forget about what happened and what you saw. You're going to tell your friends that you used the bathroom and only remember me as Sam Golbach. A regular guy from the bar down the street."
Within a blink of an eye, they're both gone and you're left standing alone in the bathroom, "Guess I'm done here."
You walk out and your friends are standing in a group by the door, "There she is. We thought you left." Cami says reaching out to grab your hand.
"No, I was just using the bathroom." You smile, "Are we going to another bar?"
Cami nods, "We're going to go hang out at Electric Avenue." You groan, "Oh my god, I love that place."
She laughs, "Then what are we waiting for?" She wraps her arm around yours and as you leave Bar Eight, you can't help but feel like you're forgetting something.
Something that happened, but you can't quite put your finger on it. That sick feeling returns, but this time it comes with heartache.
Even though you're with your friends, you feel extra lonely right now. In this moment you just want to go home, curl up in bed and cry because you're missing something so bad right now, but if anyone were to ask, you can't give them an answer that sounds sane enough for them to not laugh or think you're not crazy.
Because let's face it, the fact that you're obsessing over someone or something that you have zero knowledge about, is pretty insane.
"ID's please." The bouncer says as you walk up. You dig into your purse and pull out your wallet, slipping your id from its holder.
He checks it over, handing it back to you to move onto Cami. You wait for her by the door and when she walks through, you link your arm with hers, pretending that you're not ready to run home.
"Shots. Please!" She yells over the music and you sigh, "I'll do one, maybe two."
"We'll see." She giggles as she pulls you with her to the bar and rests her arms on the tall counter.
"Well hello ladies." The bartender walks up, "I'm Blake, anything you need I'll be happy to serve it to you."
Cami giggles, "Thank you, Blake. I think.. to start off, we'll do-" she pauses for a second, "Six teq-"
"No." You say quickly and she sighs, "Fine. Six vodka shots."
Blake smirks, "You got it." He winks at you before walking away and Cami leans in, "He is so hot." You shrug, "He's alright."
"Alright? Are we seeing the same guy? Y/n. He's into you!" She nudges your side with her elbow, "Get his number."
If he, as so little as it may seem, gets your number, I will snap his neck in front of everyone.
"No." You snap at Cami, "I'm not giving him my number. And you aren't either."
She scoffs, "Is this about the little crush you have on that character in your book because if so-"
"Cami." You roll your eyes, "no it's not about that okay." She turns towards you, leaning against the bar, "Then what's it about? Hmm."
You sigh and right as you're about to give her some bullshit answer, a guy comes up beside you and wraps his arm around your waist, "It's about me."
You look up and your mood instantly switches, "Sam! There you are."
"Here I am." He smiles as he looks down at you, "I told ya I'd meet you here."
Cami shakes her head, "Wait." She points to Sam, "Who is this and when did you meet him?"
"Cami, this is Sam Golbach. A regular guy from the bar down the street." The words seem scripted to you, but you didn't really pay attention to that.
You felt safe. Complete. Almost like this is the meaning to your obsessing and empty fantasies.
"Why didn't you tell me? I thought you were talking to that other guy?" Cami tilts her head and you scoff, "You make it sound like I'm a whore, Cami."
She laughs, "Oh god, no. No, I didn't mean it-"
"It's fine." You laugh, "He knows about the other guy I was talking to. It just.. didn't work out."
Blake comes back and delivers the six shots on the tray. His eyes move to Sam, staying on him as he speaks, "Six vodka shots."
He walks away and Sam can't help but laugh, "I don't think he likes me."
"Well maybe it's because he was eyeing up your girl before you showed up." Cami grabs a shot and looks around for the others.
She waves them down, motioning for them to come over and they do. Singing along and dancing mildly to the music that's bumping through the club.
"Heyyy. Who's this?" Your other friend asks pointing to Sam. He leans forward, "I'm Sam."
"Sam. Sam. Sam." She laughs, clearly reaching her alcohol limit, and fast, "You gonna stick around?"
Sam nods, "I mean, yeah. I planned on it. At least until one of us-" he nods towards you, "- is ready to leave."
Your friend laughs, "No, no. I meant sticking around as in dating my girl here." Sam's brows raise and he nods, "I mean, yeah. Yeah. I plan on it, I mean. That's if she wants me to."
Your arm tightens around his waist and he smiles, "I think that's a yes." You nod, resting your head on his shoulder. As you're standing there, waiting for the shots to be distributed, you spot another oddly familiar face.
"Who's that guy over there?" You ask pointing across the bar. Sam leans down, "Which one, sweetheart?" You lean over slightly, "The guy next to the girl in the pink top."
"Oh that's Colby." Sam turns his head to look into your eyes, "You recognize him from back at the bar, he's a good friend of mine." Sam looks at you and you nod, "Oh okay. Yeah that makes sense. Maybe I do remember him."
Sam smiles and kisses your temple. He closes his eyes as he takes a deep breath, remembering what your blood tasted like on his tongue.
His hand grips your hip tight, loosening as he takes a shot glass from Cami, "Thank you."
You take yours and wait for Cami to tap hers against the bar. Everyone follows, tapping each glass against the wood before knocking them back.
Everyone cheers, pulling each other onto the dance floor. Sam takes your hand into his, pull you with him before spinning you around to press his chest against your back.
His hands slide down, gripping your waist as you move to the beat of the song. Your head rests back onto his shoulder and he rests his cheek against yours.
Your arm slides up, wrapping around his neck and you spin around to face him, your other arm moving up to interlock your hands behind his head.
"You're so beautiful." Sam says which causes you to smile. He brushes hair from your neck, subtly inspecting the now healed bite mark. He lick his lips, tilting his head as his eyes meet yours again.
"Does your friend need a dancing partner? I can send Cami over to talk to him?" You tilt your head and Sam chuckles, "Nah, I think he'll be alright."
"Girlfriend?" You ask and Sam shakes his head, "No."
"Oh, is he gay? My friend Curtis ca-."
Sam laughs, "No, no. He's not. He just.." he brushes hair from your face, "He has his eye on someone very special already."
"Good for him." You smile, pulling Sam closer. Sam nods, "Yeah, it really will be good for him." He leans in, lips connecting with yours and its sparks.
Bright sparks, hell. Those are fireworks.
"I don't want to leave you." You admit, "Sorry if that w-"
"I don't want to leave you, either." Sam cuts you off, lips connecting right back with yours. You lay your hand on the back of his back, sliding the other one down his chest and pushing away from him, "They're all coming back to my place, so I hope that doesn't change anything."
Sam shakes his head, "doesn't change a thing, baby."
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
You giggle slightly to yourself as you dig for your keys, "I hope I grabbed them."
"I'm sure they're in there." Sam says giving you a smile. Cami pushes between the two of you, "Do you have them?"
Sam glances at her and back to you, "She's looking for them."
You look up at her, "Can you move your head, you're blocking the light." You try not to laugh but fail, causing her to laugh which spreads throughout everyone else.
Sam shakes his head and you pull out your keys, jingling them as you look back, "Found them."
They all cheer and you unlock the door, pushing it open before you drag Sam in with you.
You set your bag and keys on the counter before turning to face Sam, "Do you need a drink or anything?"
He licks his lips, brushing hair from your neck, "I do, but I'll get it then."
"I can get it fo-"
He cuts you off, "I'm fine, sweetheart." He smiles, "Come on, let's go sit." He takes your hand into yours and pulls you towards the couch.
You sit on his lap, looking back at Cami and your other friends who are raiding your fridge. She gives you a look and nods towards your room.
She walks over stopping at the door way, "Y/n, can you come help me unzip my dress."
You look back at her, "Oh yeah." You get up, sliding your hand along Sam's shoulders as you walk around the couch.
Cami pulls you into your room and shuts the door, her voice is quiet, "Don't you think.. Sam is.." she trails off and you tilt your head, "Sam is? What, Cami?"
She waves her hands in a circle, "I don't know, he seems a bit.. controlling."
You laugh slightly, "What do you mean?"
"The way he just pulled you over to the couch, I mean you were just trying to offer him a drink." She shrugs, "I don't know, it just.. you just met him, we just met him, and he's already back at your place?"
"I don't understand what you're saying? You do this all the time, cami." You cross your arms, "Do you want me to kick him out?"
"That's not what I'm saying at all, y/n. I'm just saying that I get a really weird vibe from him, he just.. he seems cold." She shrugs, sighing as she turns around, "Can you unzip me quick, though please?"
You roll your eyes, reaching up to quickly unzip the dress, "I know you're just trying to look out for me, but something about him just feels.. right."
She turns around, leaning down to grab her bag, "ultimately it's your choice at the end of the day, but I'm just saying be careful. I just didn't like the way he drug you over to the couch."
"I think you're being a little dramatic." You laugh, "Now change, and come out so we can watch a movie."
You walk over to your door, opening it to walk back over to the couch. Sam greets you with open arms as you sit back down on his lap, "Everything okay?"
You nod, "Yeah, her zipper was just stuck in some loose string from her dress."
You didn't have to lie, Sam already heard everything.
"Dress okay?" He asks and you nod. He plants a kiss to your cheek, "Good."
Cami walks back out, coming over to sit next to you, "So, what movie are we watching?"
"Something funny. Oh!" Cami snaps, "Why don't we watch Vampires Suck? Have you seen it?"
"Isn't that the movie that's based off of Twilight? Doesn't actually suck?" One of your friends say, and Cami nods with a smirk as she leans forward to grab the remote, "Yes, it is, and it's supposed to suck on purpose. That's the whole point."
Sam chuckles shaking his head, the thought of watching a bad vampire movie was so cliche to him.
Cami turns his head, leaning out to look at him, "Is that alright with you?"
He looks at Cami and nods, "Why wouldn't it be?"
"Cami." You sigh, "Just play the stupid movie." She sighs quietly and presses play, tossing the remote down next to her.
A little bit into the movie, you lean in to Sam, "I'll be right back, I have to go to the bathroom." He nods, giving you a smile as you get up.
You walk to the bathroom closing the door and as you look at yourself in the mirror, your mind shifts from Sam and you zone out.
"You're just.." Colby smiles, brushing hair from your face, "So pretty."
You smile, a blush rising onto your cheeks, "Thank you, Colby." He leans in, "I've honestly never come across anyone as pretty as you."
"Okay, now you're just saying stuff." You laugh and he shakes his head, "No, I'm not. I'm being serious. I've seen hundreds of faces, and yours is my favorite one of all."
You look away, laughing slyly, "Colby."
He grips your chin, turning your head back to face him, "I'm being so serious right now. I'd risk fighting Lucifer himself to be with you."
"Lucifer?" You question and Sam's voice pops up, "Colby. That's enough. Knock it off."
You look around, unable to spot Sam..
Your eyes focus on your figure in the mirror, blinking a few times before you continue to do what you went in there for.
You open the door, flicking the lights off as you walk out.
"Hey I think I'm going to head out." You look up at your friend as you sit down next to Sam and Cami, "Are you good to drive?"
They nod, "Oh yeah, I feel fine. I'll text you when I get home."
"Okay. Be careful." You smile and they nod as they walk out.
A little bit later, two more friends leave, then another one, leaving you with just Sam and Cami.
"Is it just me, or were they acting kind of weird?" You look between them and Sam shrugs, "I know they were getting tired, probably didn't want to have to sleep on the floor." He teases them reassures you, "I think they were good."
Cami yawns and stretches as she leans forward, "Yeah, I think I'm going to head home. I forgot I had an appointment early in the morning."
"But it's Saturday?" You question and she shrugs, "Yeah. There's one that has certain hours."
"Oh." You nod, "Okay." Your eyes follow her as she gets up, walking over to grab her back, "I'll talk to you tomorrow. Love you!"
"Yeah, okay. Love you, too." You watch her shut the door and then you slowly look over at Sam, "That was so weird."
"Maybe they just settled down, got tired from the alcohol?" Sam suggests and you shrug, "I mean, yeah. You're right." You laugh, "Sorry I'm just-"
There's another thump, almost like the same one at earlier on in the day.
"That happened earlier." You look back, "Hello?"
"Maybe it's your neighbors?" Sam stands up, "I'll go check, maybe someone else did leave."
You nod, turning around to watch as he walks back to check the rooms. He comes out of your room and shakes his head, "No one's here."
You nod, continuing to watch as he then gets this annoyed look on his face and he sighs, "Fine."
"Sam?" You slowly get up, "Who are you talking to?"
"No one, I just-" he laughs, "I have something to tell you."
Your heart starts racing and you feel like your chest gets heavy, "Oh god." Your mind starts racing through every single idea that could potentially happen.
He had a plan this whole time. Gain your trust, get your alone, murder you.
He chuckles, "Relax, sweetheart. I'm not going to murder you."
Your head snaps towards him and you point, "H-how did you-"
"I can read your mind."
His words catch you off guard, "Y0u ju- you can r-" he pause, closing your eyes as you rest your forehead in your hand, "What the fuck is hap-"
You look up, gasping when Sam is right in front of you, "Shit." You go to step back but Sam grabs your wrist.
As scared as you want to be, when he touches you, it's like all your fear washes away and you want to do anything in your power to keep him with you.
"Listen to me." Sam's voice is soft, "I have to tell you something, but I need you to not freak out." He looks into your eyes, "Okay?"
You nod your head, "Y-yeah. I guess I can try."
"Come." He motions towards the couch, "Have a seat."
You walk over, sitting down. You turn your body towards him and rest your hands in your lap. Sam leans back, casually extending his arm over the back, "I made your friends go home."
"Huh?" You tilt your head, "What do you mean you made them leave?"
He shrugs, "Because we were getting impatient and they were just being massive cockblocks."
You sit in silence as you try to process his words, "We?"
Sam nods, "Yeah, remember Colby from the bar?" You nod slowly, "um, yeah. Yes." Sam nods, "Well he's here, too."
You whip around, looking for him, but you don't see him, "Where?" You turn back around, heart racing faster, "Why is he here, too?"
Sam stares at your chest, biting his lip as he pushes the thirst for your blood out of his mind, "You can't see him, he's hiding himself."
"Hiding himself?" You run your hand through your hair, breathing out a quiet, "Fuck."
After a moment of silence, Sam speaks up, "Do you want to know what happened at the bar?"
"I know what happened at the bar. I met you, we talked had a drink, I went to the bathroom then came out and walked with my friends down the street to another club." You look at him and he smirks, "No, sweetheart. Do you want to know what really happened?"
"What really happened?" You question and Sam leans forward, looking into your eyes, "When you remember, you won't make a big deal about it."
You nod and Sam tilts his head, eyes still on yours, "Remember."
You freeze as your mind plays what actually happened at Bar Eight.
Sam compelling you to say yes to his question. Following Sam to the bathroom. Sitting on the edge of the sink and being told not to make a sound.
His teeth sinking into your neck and you can almost feel the pleasured pain he caused you as he sucked your blood from your neck.
Colby emerging from behind Sam as your vision goes hazy.
Everything flows if, filling the cracks with missing information and you're left speechless.
You blink, your eyes moving to look at Sam. The only words you can form leave you more shocked as they leave your lips, "Y-you're.. a vampire?"
Sam smiles, nodding his head as he leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees, "Correct."
"And Colby?" You raise your brows and Sam tilts his head, "He's a demon."
"A de-" you shake your head, "No. I'm dreaming I can't- this can't be real." You stand up, placing one hand on your forehead and the other on your hip, "I'm having a really, really weird dream."
"Hate to break it to ya, babe." Colby's voice startles you as he walks around from behind you. You jump, stepping back as you look at him. He holds his hand out, "I'm sorry. Didn't mean to scare ya."
He chuckles, "But you're not dreaming. You're awake, and we're here."
You slide your hand down, resting your fingers over your lips and your mind starts racking up questions.
"Yes, we're why you felt guilty after going to Tara's party." Colby nods, "And why you felt so obsessed over, well.. nothing really."
"It wasn't really nothing, y/n. We made it so you were, what? Colby. I don't even know what you'd call it." Sam looks to Colby and Colby purses his lips, "Mm."
He snaps his fingers and looks to you, "Love sick."
"We made you love us, without even knowing us. That's why you felt so comfortable with me at the bar, we'd basically manipulate your dreams so you'd know who we were, but someone.." Sam trails off, glaring at Colby before looking back to you, "Thought it would be best if we made it so you couldn't remember when you woke up."
You can feel your legs shaking below you, "And the making me do things? What.. what's that?"
"Oh the compulsion?" Sam nods, "Yeah, that's my favorite thing about being a vampire." He laughs, "I can make anyone do anything I wanted."
"So you.. compelled me.. to.." you point to your neck and he nods, "Yes."
"Why?" You stare at him and he shrugs, "Come on, if a stranger came up to you and said follow me to the bathroom, I want to bite your neck and drink your blood, would you have honestly, willingly gone with?"
"I mean, no but- wait." You point to Colby, "You don't like my blood?"
He sighs, "Ah, yeah. That."
"He could rip you apart if he really wanted to." Sam laughs and Colby rolls his eyes, "So could you, Sam."
Sam nod, leaning back to bring one of his legs up to least on his other one, "That's true. I could tear you apart if I wanted."
Sam is in front of you within the blink of an eye and you lean back slightly. His arm snakes around your wait, hand planting on the small of your back, "But I think you are just.. the sweetest thing."
There is absolutely no fear in your body, and they both know it.
"Why me?" You ask, your breathing growing faster as Sam slides his other hand up your arm to push your hair out of the way, "Why not you?"
His fingers run over the spot he had previously drank from before, "You have such a pretty face, on a pretty neck. You drive me crazy."
He leans in, lips gently pressing against your skin before tilting his head up, "Tell me you don't want me right now. Tell me you don't want us.. right now."
"I-I." You gasp as you feel Colby appear behind you, his hands sliding onto your waist. You bite down on your lip, "Are you going to hurt me?"
"Not unless you want us to, baby." Colby chuckles, "We're here to pleasure you. Make you feel things you've never even thought of feeling."
Colby presses his chest against your back and Sam tilts his head, "We don't take orders from anyone.." his thumb brushes over your bottom lip, "But you."
A rush of excitement washes over you and they both chuckle, "she's excited." Colby whispers, "I can feel it."
"This is so fucking weird." You laugh, still slightly in shock, "Oh my god."
"What do you say, sweetheart." Sam looks into your eyes, "Will you let us be your sickening desire?"
Your lips part open as Colby's lips attach to your neck, sucking a mark into your neck.
You had to admit, the devils voice is so sweet to hear.
Along with them being pretty cute for being, what others would consider monsters.
"You think we're cute?" Sam teases and you sigh, "My thoughts aren't safe anymore are they?"
Sam shakes his head, "Not at all, babe."
"You share them with us now." Colby whispers, "So are you going to answer Sam's question. Are you going to let us show you what an exhilarating ride it is to dance with the devil?"
After taking a moment to think, your eyes meet Sam's and you nod, "Take me."
"As you wish." He lifts you up, walking over to the couch, "But before we start. Can I have that drink now?"
"So that's what you meant?" You bite your lip and he nods, "Uh huh. Exactly." He looks over at Colby and when you look over at him, he's gone.
Sam turns your chin back towards him, "He's not too far off." He winks and slides his hand to the back of your neck, pulling you in closer to him as he leans up, mouth close to your neck.
Your hands grip the collar of his shirt, preparing for the initial piercing of your skin.
"Tell me when. You call the shots." Sam whispers and you nod, "Go."
You let out a whine, tilting your head to the side as his fangs sink into your neck.
Your fists tighten with his collar still balled up in them, and a moan slips through. Sam wraps tightens his arm around your waist, groaning against your neck.
The euphoric feelings rushes in, causing your arousal to spike.
You need him, and you needed him bad.
Your mind dances off onto the topic of Colby, thinking about how good he looks in the black leather jacket.
How his dark demeanor intimidates you, but also turns you on more than anything.
"Fucking hell, babe. You taste fucking good." Sam leans back, fangs still out as his licks the blood from his lips.
Your eyes gaze over his face as you slide a hand up, wiping away a bead of blood that's getting ready to drip. You drag your finger up his chin, slowly placing it in his mouth and you gasp when his lips wrap around it, sucking your flood off your finger.
"I know I should be scared but.." you bite your lip, pulling your finger from his lips, "I'm not."
"We don't want you to be scared." Sam whispers, "We love you."
Without any hesitation, "I love you both."
"That's the way we want it." He smirks, looking over your shoulder, "You good, Colbs?"
"Oh yeah." Colby answers from behind, "Clean her up. I want my turn with her." Sam smirks and licks his lips again before leaning forward.
A shiver goes down your spine from Colby's words and Sam's tongue gliding over the fresh puncture wounds.
A little whimper leaves your lips, "Please."
"Soon baby." Both say in unison.
"Stand up for me, princess." Sam says and you stand up, slightly wobbly. Colby moves behind you, sweeping you off your feet, "You'll get used to that the more it happens."
You stare up at him, captivated by how a demon can look so pretty.
"I'm not in my true form, sweetheart." Colby smirks, walking you into your room, "Maybe one day I'll show you."
"What do you look like?" You ask and Colby lays you on the bed, "Let's not talk about that right now." He licks his lips, pressing them to yours.
Your hands move to his neck, moaning quietly against them. He slides a hand down, slipping it under your shirt, earning a moan as he toys with your nipple.
You tilt your head back, arching your back as he pinches a bit harder.
You wonder where Sam is, and he instantly appears next to you, "I'm right here, princess." He smirks down at you and you bite down on your lip.
You had so many emotions flooding through your mind and body.
You have never, never felt like this before and that was part of their goal.
Colby slips his hand out, gripping your shirt at the top and tearing it with a smooth glide, exposing your chest, "Mm. Naughty girl, not wearing a bra."
You bite your lip, looking down at him and he smirks, "I like it better when you don't." He winks and leans down, attaching his lips to one nipples while his fingers find the other.
A moan leaves your lips as you lay a hand on the back of his head, "Fuck."
Sam leans down slightly, laying a hand on your head and brushing it over your hair, "We've been watching you for a while now. Did you know that?"
"N-no." You whimper and Sam chuckles, "Of course not. We didn't want to make you love sick, we just needed a way to make you ours before we told you who we truly are."
Colby leans up, "You're the only sense of humanity we have."
"Really?" You look from him to Sam and Sam nods, "Really." You look back to Colby as you feel your jeans being unbuttoned. You lift your hips, eager for them to be off quicker.
Sam stands up, unbuttoning his shirt as Colby works on undressing you fully, "Shit, this is so fucking hot."
Colby smirks, chuckling as he slides his hands up your bare legs, stopping at the band of your panties, "You're more than ready for us, aren't you?"
You nod quickly, "Yes." You move your hips up and down, "yes."
"Taste her, Colby." Sam commands and with that, your panties are ripped from your body, tossed like nothing to the floor.
"Fuck." Colby groans, quickly getting into position with his head between your thighs. Your lips part as you watch his inch closer to you, biting down on your lip when he glances up at you.
He closes the space, his tongue gliding up and down your folds, groaning against you as he finally tastes what he's been anticipating.
Sam's eyes are heavily focused on Colby, watching as he eats you out, "Fuck." He whispers, hand sliding down to palm himself.
You slide your arm towards him while placing your other hand on Colby's head, moaning as your back arches, "S-Sam."
Sam's eyes move to you, instantly picking up on what you want to do for him. He discards his pants, his boxers quickly following, leaving him naked as he climbs on the bed.
He sits on his knee, resting back on his calves as he reaches down. His fingers wrap around your wrist, guiding it to wrap around his cock.
He lets out a relieving moan, bucking his hips as you squeeze and gently stroke him up and down, "F-fuck."
His chest rises and falls quickly as his eyes watch you touch him.
You look over, locking eyes with him as you moan. He focuses on yours, "Cum."
Your body tenses up as a wave of absolute pressure washes over your body, screaming out as you tug on Colby's hair, which earns a deep groan from him.
"That's it, princess." Sam moans, "Fuck."
You catch your breath, watching as Colby sits up. He moves up, attaching his lips to yours and you moan at the taste of yourself on his tongue that moves against yours.
Sam grabs your wrist, pulling it away from him as he moves to the end of the bed. Once Colby climbs off, Sam grabs your ankles, easily pulling you down so your legs hang down.
You watch as Sam drops to his knees, hooking his arms under your knees as he moves in. His tongue slips into you, groaning as you gasp, "Sh-it."
Colby gets onto the bed, biting his lip as he watches you take his cock into your hand without being told, "Such a good girl." He reaches down, running his thumb over your bottom lip.
You part them, taking his thumb into your mouth and sucking. He tilts his head, watching the sight below him.
He looks down at Sam, watching him devour you before looking back, "Use your mouth, baby."
You comply, you don't need any kind of compulsion to do anything.
It's all you.
You push his thumb out of your mouth with your tongue, lifting your head to allow the tip of his cock to replace it.
He gasps, moaning as he lays a hand on the back of your head, "More, baby. Take more of me."
You swirl your tongue, coating him in saliva before you push your head onto him more. You moan around him as Sam slips a finger into your soaked cunt, tongue swirling around your clit.
Colby fights to keep his eyes open, "Shit." He pushes your head down, holding it there as he thrusts his hips, "Doing so fucking good."
Your back arches and your moans are muffled. Colby holds still, allowing you to have control again.
You bob your head, pausing as Sam slips another finger in, curling them slowly as he sucks your clit.
"Fuck." Colby glances down at Sam and back to you, brushing hair from your face. You tilt your head back, taking a deep breath as you moan loudly.
Colby moves back a little, leaning down to whisper in your ear, "Cum."
You whimper as your orgasm rushes in again, ripping loud moans and screams from your throat as you cum around Sam's fingers.
"Does that feel good?" Colby asks stroking his hand over your hair, "Looks like it does."
"Yesyesyes!" You scream out, "Fuck yes!"
Sam pulls his fingers out, standing up to lean down over you. Your eyes lock into his as he slips his two fingers into your mouth, "lick them clean for me."
Your tongue swirls around his fingers, sucking them clean like he said. He drags them out, pulling your bottom lip down slightly as he leans down to kiss where he bit a not, too long ago.
He reaches up, gripping your chin as he studies your face, "I want to drink from you while Colby fucks you from behind."
You nod, "P-please, Sam."
"You don't have to beg, princess. Not this time." He smirks and stands up, walking around to lay on the bed, "Come here."
You sit up, turning around to crawl up the bed, straddling his lap. Colby moves behind you, hands on your hips as you lean down to connect your lips with Sam's.
You feel spit run down over your center, followed by Colby's cock rubbing it in before slipping the tip of his cock in.
You gasp into Sam's mouth and both of their hands hold your body still, "Feel good?" Sam asks lowly and you nod, eyes closed as you moan, "So good."
Sam kisses down the front of your neck, licking back up to under your jaw, "Think you can take both of us at once?"
His words surprise you and he chuckles, "Only if you want to try of course."
Colby pushes his cock into you, groaning as his fingers dig into your hips, "Shit." He bites down on his lip, slowly pulling out before starting to thrust at a slow pace.
You moan, looking down at Sam. He watches your face scrunch up as he slides his hand up to your neck, slowly squeezing.
"fuck, I can't fight it anymore." Sam groans as he pulls your hair back into a make shift ponytail, holding it with his hand, "Stay as still as you can for me, okay?"
You whimper in response, moaning from Colby's cock thrusting in and out of you.
Sam licks his lips, tilting his head to get to the side he hasn't bit yet. He pulls you in close and sinks his fangs into your neck.
You let out a small yelp, quickly covering it up with a loud moan. You fist the sheets next to Sam, pulling in them as you try to stay as still as you can.
Colby's grip on your hips is tight enough to where you know you'll have small round bruises from his fingers digging into your skin.
Sam sucks your neck, moaning lowly as lifts his head slightly. His eyes flick down to your neck, "I'll never get enough of you."
"I'm yours." You moan out quietly, "Both of yours."
"Who do you belong to?" Colby asks, "Say it louder."
Sam reconnects his mouth to your neck, making your vision go blurry, "Y-yours." You moan, screaming out, "Both, I belong to you both."
"That's our girl." Colby groans, "Our fucking girl."
Sam lifts his head, licking your neck clean and lays his head back. You stare down at him as Colby's thrusts come to a stop.
Sam reaches down, grabbing his cock to slide it into your cunt along with Colby's.
You let out a whimper as you feel yourself stretching to accommodate them both, "F-fuck." You hang your head down, whimpering as they both start to thrust, quickly finding a pace.
Sam slides his hand back up, cupping your cheek, "Tell us how good you feel."
"So.. fucking.." you gasp, "Good!"
"Do you want to cum?" Colby asks and you answer him immediately, "Yes, yes. So bad." A string of whines and moans leave your lips non-stop.
"Little bit longer baby." Colby rubs his hand up and down your back, "Doing so good for us."
Your eyes scan quickly over Sam's face. There's just something about the blood covering his chin that turns you on even more.
"Thank you." He groans out with a smirk. You smile, biting your lip as your brows furrow, "Oh fuck. Fuck."
"Think she's had enough, Colbs?" Sam asked eyes not leaving your face.
"She's earned a break." Colby answers and Sam pinches your chin between his pointer and thumb, "Look at me, princess."
You open your eyes and he locks his onto yours, "Cum."
Pleasure washes over you, causing your body to shake as it feels much more powerful than the last two orgasms you had.
You feel their cocks slip out of you and you cling to Sam, moaning and whining as you work your way through your high.
"That's it, baby. That's it." Sam whispers as he plants kisses on your face, leaving little spots of blood.
You slowly relax, breathing heavy as you roll off of Sam to lay on the bed.
"You know. You look so cute with blood on your face." Sam leans over and smiles down at you. You laugh slightly, too tired to even care.
You feel someone one wiping you off and Sam comes back with a clean face and something to wipe yours off with.
You didn't think they would do this, you thought they were just going to have their way with you and leave.
"Just because we're labeled as not good doesn't mean we don't care about the aftercare part." Colby smirks slightly and you smile, "Sorry."
"Don't be sorry, sweetheart. You have a lot to learn." He winks and pulls the blankets up over your legs, "And yeah, that means we aren't going anywhere."
"Mhm. We claimed you." Sam says lying next to you, he brushes hair from your face, "so does it all make sense now?"
You nod, looking between them, "oh yeah. Everything is so much clearer now."
"You're still in shock aren't you?" Colby asks and you bat the air, "not at all." He raises a brow and tilts his head, "We can tell how you're feeling, babe. No need to lie."
You sigh, "Okay, fine. Maybe a little bit."
Colby lays next to you on your other side and rubs your arm, "Do you have any questions for us?"
"Were those thuds I heard earlier, you guys?" You ask as you pull the blanket up a little more. Sam laugh, "Yeah, that was Colby accidentally knocking stuff over."
You laugh, "This is just.." you sigh, "I'm sure I have more questions, I just.. my brain right now is so scrambled."
"You're fine, princess." Sam smiles, "You need rest."
"Will you be here in the morning?" You ask and look between them. Sam nods and Colby smiles, "We're always with you."
Sam smirks, "You have claim on us now."
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did and let me tell you, it was A LOT. So let me know how I did!
Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!
Taglist: @fawned01 @theblackcatwitch @jaeyuns-world @littlec0ffeegirl @rosie-writings @nikkiwastaken
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lostyesterday · 6 months
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I’ve been thinking about disabled protagonists in Star Trek recently, which got me thinking about Seven of Nine. It’s interesting because I’m almost certain the writers of Voyager did not intend to write a disabled character, but they ended up accidentally writing one anyway, and one whose arc I find surprisingly compelling as a disabled person myself. Seven is dependent on electronic devices both inside her body and external to it in order to survive and she requires regular medical treatment and specialized adaptations to her environment in order to function. She is absolutely canonically disabled (as are all the other ex-Borg in Star Trek), even if the writers probably weren’t aware of that. The major reason that I think Seven’s arc resonates with me so much is because it reflects a deep tension between independence and dependence that is a fundamental and complex part of so many disabled people’s lives.
To be disabled is to be deeply aware at all times of your own dependence on external things (such as wheelchairs, canes, medications, etc.) and other people. At the same time, to be disabled is to also be deeply aware of the societal standards of independence and self-sufficiency you are constantly failing to live up to. You cannot do things that people are “supposed” to be able to do independently. You need help for basic tasks, and you have no choice but to trust that these external supports you are dependent on will not suddenly disappear, causing you to be unable to participate in society at all. It’s difficult to express to someone who hasn’t experienced it how much being disabled forces someone to consider their own level of dependence and independence constantly, how it becomes a deep part of one’s identity and can often be a source of trauma.
Seven’s arc on Voyager is often focused on the nature of individuality, but it is interesting how often “individuality” becomes a stand-in for independence. Seven’s disability makes her deeply dependent on the crew and resources of Voyager for survival. She could theoretically leave and use her own skills to do maintenance on her implants and install an alcove somewhere to keep herself functioning, but it would be a great risk, and her safety would be constantly in doubt. At the same time, Seven hates this dependence. She tries to rely on other people as little as possible, hating her need for the Doctor to diagnose issues with her implants and refusing to ask for help until she has no other choice. She hates this dependence because she sees it as challenging her ability to become a complete “individual” who is able to make her own autonomous choices. She hates this dependence because it forces her to rely on other people who could at any time abandon her or abuse their power over her.
So it’s far less frightening to pretend this dependence doesn’t exist, to hide it even from herself. Seven’s arrogance in her own abilities, her focus on her intellect and vast knowledge and superior physical abilities are in many ways genuine, especially early on. But at what point does this confidence in her own abilities – this reassurance that she is smart enough and strong enough to control her own destiny and be a true individual – become a coping mechanism to deal with the reality of her dependence on objects and people outside of her direct control?
Seven is told often by members of the Voyager crew that being an individual who makes her own choices and decisions is what she should strive for. And at the same time, those same people often exert control over her, attempting to restrict her autonomy. Janeway or the Doctor tell her that they know better than her what her needs are – that being an individual only goes so far. Seven’s anger at this contradiction is one of my favorite parts of her character, partially because it captures a similar feeling of anger deep inside me when I think about the ways society constantly pressures disabled people to maintain standards of independence impossible to live up to while at the same time deeply restricting our autonomy and freedom.
In the episode “Imperfection”, Seven says that what she wants most is to be useful. To be useful is to be a valuable part of society – someone who is self-sufficient and talented and certainly not deeply dependent on other people for basic survival. To be disabled is to have society constantly demand that you be useful, that you be independent and strong and never let your disabilities limit you. And at the same time, to be disabled is to discover over and over that you can never be that fully autonomous, fully functional human being seen as ideal in society. No matter what you do – no matter how far you run from the truth – it’s an impossible reality to escape.
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arlerts-angel · 7 months
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🖤⛓️🔞| 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐯𝐨𝐥. 1: 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧
a/n: welcome to the official first installment of kinktober! today we'll start off with some softcore stuff; headcanons/how our men pleasure themselves; a look into their pants and if they use any assistance to do the deed 😮‍💨
cw: descriptions of male masturbation methods, dick sizes/descriptions, toys mentioned
taglist: @callm3senpaii @la-undercover-latina @dilfkentolover @arlertwitch @nigthmar3moon @darkstarlight82 @daddydynamight @softlilpeachxx @ringsofsaturnnnn @millennialmagicalgirl @i-literally-cant-with-this
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🖤 armin arlert:
x-ray: armin's pretty average at about 5 and 1/2 inches! he has more length than girth and curves ever so slightly upwards. he is so smooth, loves to be clean shaven.
method: armin loves to use a small bullet vibrator and stimulate his taint while he masturbates. sometimes he'll go even further if he's feeling brave. it gives him the most intense orgasms (besides his partner) and usually makes him a noisy, whiny mess. when armin cums, he cums in his hand for relatively easy cleanup.
assistance: armin doesn't care to watch porn but he will look at pictures you send him or watch videos of the two of you fucking.
🖤 eren jaeger:
x-ray: eren packs a nice 7 inch cock, and it's thick too. his pubes are the same shade as his hair and are trimmed neatly, doesn't mind letting them be wild sometimes, though.
method: eren likes to edge himself. he likes to take his time when he masturbates, so he'll stroke his cock and get incredibly close to cumming and just stop, leaving his cock red and throbbing. eventually he'll spill his cum over his tummy once he's had enough.
assistance: eren watches porn frequently, less when in a relationship or not at all if his partner isn't comfortable with it. he loves to watch girl on girl porn or dick riding videos.
🖤 levi ackerman:
x-ray: mans has the thickest, juiciest cock ever and you cannot tell me otherwise. length wise he's slightly above average, close to 6 inches.
method: every now and then, levi will use a cock ring when he jerks off. he loves how hard it makes his cock and allows him to last longer during his jerk off sessions. levi has a designated cum rag that he uses to finish in so as to not make a mess.
assistance: levi absolutely does not watch porn. he knows it's completely unrealistic and thus does not add any fuel to his fire. he prefers to use his imagination.
🖤 jean kirstein:
x-ray: well, let's just say he's got a cock that matches his face ;) homeboy is packing heat. a solid 8 inches, all length.
method: jean likes to use his non-dominant hand to jerk off. he turns his hand so that it slides down his cock forefinger first. he'll twist his hand ever so slightly, as if someone else was stroking his dick for him. jean does the deed in the shower, so he lets his cum spurt out against the shower wall and down the drain.
assistance: jean likes to use pictures or videos you send him, much like armin does. he will occasionally watch porn if he feels compelled to.
🖤 connie springer:
x-ray: connie has an average size, maybe slightly below average penis. but what he lacks in length he makes up for in width, and wit.
method: connie likes to play with his balls when he masturbates. he'll twirl them around between his fingers or pull them up and down rhythmically as he jerks his cock. connie cums into tissues, though they're not the most effective at actually catching the spurts.
assistance: connie always has SOMEONE in his phone willing to send nudes to him, relationship status be damned. single? he's got hoes. taken? he'll happily ask for nudes from his pretty baby. he loves to watch amateur porn too.
🖤 reiner braun
x-ray: do i even have to say it... HIS COCK IS MASSIVE. reiner is big and beefy in all the right places. i'm talking porn star cock. 10 inches and it's thick.
method: reiner uses lots of lube. he's big and girthy so he needs a little extra sum sum to get him there. he also likes to jerk it in the shower every now and then, but if he's not in the shower he's definitely in the bedroom, cumming buckets into your bra or panties.
assistance: reiner loves to have phone sex. there's something steamy about only hearing you moan and talk dirty without seeing you touch yourself.
🖤 bertholdt hoover
x-ray: this man is the definition of pencil dick and i mean it in the nicest way possible. his cock is as tall and thin as he is, and he knows how to use it.
method: bertholdt doesn't use any special toys or lubes. he'll either spit in his hand and jerk it or use some lotion if he happens to be near some. he usually saves his jerk off sessions for late nights, so he finds an old shirt or sock to cum into.
assistance: i cannot explain it, but bertholdt gives me the vibe that he saves every nude he's ever been sent and uses those to help him jerk off. also has a thing for revenge porn.
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miquella-everywhere · 2 months
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Miquella and Griffith: Why the comparisons make no damn sense
So instead of me screaming to the sky, "Waah Miquella is Griffith theories make me so mad grrrr I hate them so much" I've decided that I'm going to do an analysis between the two characters and dissect why the comparisons and Giffiths influence on Miquella makes absolutely no damn sense.
So first and foremost, warning: I will be talking about and spoiling Berserk, so if you wanna read it for yourself then steer clear of this analysis
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So to start off let's discuss Griffith and his character/motivations in Berserks story: Griffiths whole goal from childhood was to establish his own country, his own paradise and to achieve that goal he first established his own mercenary group The Band of the Hawk. Griffith was beautiful and charismatic and the people who were apart of his band all looked up to Griffith and admired him, placing all of their hopes and faith into him and his dream.
But as the story goes on Griffith hits an all time low point, and after essentially being tortured for a year, which makes him emaciated, weak and practically crippled for life, all of Griffiths dreams seem like an utter impossibility as he is left as nothing more than a shadow of his former self.
That is until he decides to cast everything aside to become a God.
And by cast everything aside I mean that he betrays his companions, his Band of the Hawk, and sacrifices their lives to untold evils in what is absolutely the most genuinely horrific and unsettling imagery I have ever seen from a work of fiction in my entire life.
(Going off topic but I cannot stress this enough that if you decide to read Berserk understand that the violence shown pulls no punches with its depictions and involves both heavy gore and sexual violence. Especially the sexual violence)
Anyway, what makes the Band of the Hawks sacrifice so jarring is that these people all loved Griffith. They adored him. Backed him every step of the way and were the ones to go and rescue him as he was being tortured, and they all mourned the pitiful state that he was in when they found him. But regardless they STILL tried to be hopeful for Griffiths sake.
The Band of the Hawk loved Griffith and that is why Griffiths betrayal of them hits so hard and is why Griffith is known as one of the most evil characters in fiction.
And all of these reasons are precisely why Griffith is such a good and compelling character.
From the beginning of Griffiths introduction you could tell that something was... off about him. But at the same time his charisma and big ambitions painted him in a sympathetic light and you rooted for Griffith. But as the story went on you could see how Griffith was going deeper and deeper into the darkness and, quite frankly, his subsequent torture is entirely his own fault because he made several stupid and completely avoidable choices.
And it's all because Griffith at his core is selfish.
And it's for exactly these reasons why it's so baffling to me that so many people believe that Miquella is going to be just as evil, or worse, than Griffith.
Because in truth unlike Griffith, Miquella is not selfish.
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The main problem that I have with the Miquella is Griffith comparisons is that all of those theories hinge entirely on the Bewitching Branch item description, and so many people have gone out of their way to spin Miquellas ability to compel affection as definitive proof that he is manipulative and evil, meanwhile conveniently ignoring everything else that Miquella has done in the lore.
So for a single moment, let's pretend that the Bewitching Branch does not exist and take a look at all the other lore that surrounds Miquella:
Miquella has dedicated most of his life to curing Malenia, his twin sister, of her crippling disease, and has even crafted prosthetics for her as well as an entirely new type of God Repellent Metal, which can halt the effects of said disease
He was a Golden Order Fundamentalist but ultimately abandoned it because it could not cure Malenias sickness
He created a Haven for those who are outcasts in the eyes of the most dominating and repressive Order in the Lands Between
He watered said Haven/the Haligtree with his own blood so it could grow into something that could rival the Erdtree
He used his identity as St. Trina to sing to and ease those who have been afflicted by the Frenzied Flame
There are several statues that depict Miquella and Malenia embracing eachother, 1 in Altus in an area dubbed Miquellas Hideaway and several all over the Haligtree. The fact that this statue is the dominant imagery found at the Haligtree really hammers in the fact that the twins love eachother, and that the Haligtree isn't just Miquella's, but Malenias home as well
He also has a clear affection/love for his brother Godwyn as the statue at the Haligtree depicts him embracing his siblings and even created a sword to commemorate Godwyns death and prayed for him to Die a True Death.
The soldiers of the Haligtree came across a bitter revelation as they await Miquella(presumably they feel immense guilt for being unable to protect their Lord) and explode with light, which they hope will guide Miquellas return and no Miquella did not put the light in them to make them explode there is absolutely zero proof of that, looking at you vaati
And now to be fair, lets get into the comparisons that are shared between the Griffith and Miquella:
Both are highly charismatic and beautiful individuals to the point where both Griffith and Miquella are mistaken for being girls.
The Eclispe imagery. For Griffith the Eclipse is what allows him to ascend to Godhood(after sacrificing the people who love him) and for Miquella the Eclipse is presumably how they are trying to resurrect Godwyn (Miquellas plans for the Eclipse are mostly unknown/vague at this point)
The Egg. Griffith and Miquella both go through a type of metamorphosis involving being encased in a cocoon/egg.
And honestly that's kinda it. The straight comparisons between the two are highly lacking and purely thematic in my opinion, especially when you consider everything else going on between their respective characters.
So to summarize, the good things that Miquella has done outweighs the bad and that is why Miquella is, in actuality, the exact opposite of Griffith. Unlike Griffith who is selfish, Elden Ring canon points to Miquella being a compassionate and loving individual, and if anything, he is a complete inversion to Griffiths character.
With the points listed above a majority of the in game text highly suggests that Miquella is kind and altruistic, and with the newest text regarding Miquella in the DLC:
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Points to Miquella potentially being selfless and self-sacrificial.
And also, I've seen several people argue that Miquella wants to become a God so he can create his own utopia/Falconia like Griffith did. And I'm like.... Uuuum okay well, there is a big problem with that argument along with an elephant in the room that's being completely ignored, and that is the fact that Miquella has already created his utopia/Falconia with the Haligtree and Elphael.
So as of this moment Miquellas exact goals are completely unknown, what he is doing in the World of Shadow cannot be determined until the DLC arrives. But my point remains that so many people seem to think that Miquella will be evil based off of, in my opinion, evidence that is completely lacking in substance, along with the pervasive belief that since Elden Ring has drawn inspiration from Berserk/Griffith it means that Miquella will end up as a similar type of evil character as Griffith, all while ignoring the things that Miquella has done in canon that sets him apart as his own character.
So I've said my piece and what I believe in, so I'm just going to leave this analysis with this last statement:
The good that Miquella has done and committed himself too in the Lands Between completely outweighs the singular implied evil of the Bewitching Branch.
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yourheart-inmyhands · 6 months
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Hii, just call me Skull anon. I've been very curious about how different yanderes would do so I'm asking for a request.
How would Xiao, Albedo, and Wriothesley deal with a Drug addict reader who was already in an unstable state, struggling to survive with rent and had bad trauma? The trauma could be anything you'd like.
Of course, you can deny this request if it makes you uncomfortable. No pressure or anything.
so i was a little hesitant to do this because I wasn't sure how well I could properly portray this, but going sort of off my own experience with certain things and trying to remain calm i wrote this. i can't really explain what compelled me to, but i do hope you enjoy this and please, read the warnings for this one :] <3
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Warning: this post contains yandere-themes, including delusional behaviors, implied being held against will, manipulation tactics, mentions of substance abuse and recovery from it, obsessive behaviors, and other potential topics. Please Read At Your Own Risk!
Yandere!Xiao would be concerned internally but look indifferent externally. He’s conflicted, because he knows you’re struggling and that humans are a lot weaker, that you need help, but he doesn’t know how to help, he’s never had to be in this position before. He consults many people, fellow adepti, Zhongli, even the Traveler, none of whom he gives the full picture to but instead dances around the main ideas and works off vague descriptions.
Xiao’s first step in helping you was moving you in to the Wangshu Inn with him, where he could watch over you better. He has a reserved room there, though he never really uses it. Sleep is beyond his needs so he rarely rests, but you need rest so he allows you to have the room. This comes with him barging in on you whenever he sees fit though, day to night at any moment he could pop in without you even knowing. He had a strange way of doing that, a lot. He isn’t sure how to help with trauma or substance abuse, those aren’t the evils he usually fights, but he knows people he can ask about that. Xiao didn’t like admitting that he didn’t know what to do, but grumbling and giving Baizhu some vague descriptions of the situation helped him get a better idea of what to do. Xiao decides to take the soft approach of slowly weening you off the awful stuff, not wanting you to be left with more problems from quitting cold turkey. It’s a long road and Xiao was sorta kinda prepared to help you through it. He likes having you this close though, this dependent on him and his help.
Yandere!Albedo struggles with his feelings. His lack of humanity means he really only experiences feelings that are typically in abundance, meaning he doesn’t feel unless the feeling is so strong it cannot be ignored. His research is all he really knows so he takes the opportunity to offer ‘assistance.’ In exchange for staying with him and allowing him to study your responses and reactions, he would help you with your addiction.
It seemed like a good deal at first, Albedo would provide adequate housing, a quaint apartment in the heart of Mondstat, in exchange for being allowed to study you as he helped you over your drug problem. It would kill two birds with one stone no? What he didn’t tell you though was that he planned to have you quit cold turkey, wanting to watch how your body would respond to the sudden withdrawals. Of course, if anything started to border on the edge of life-threatening, he’d take preventative measures to ensure you lived, but otherwise, you were not permitted to leave or take any addictive substances. Albedo oversees all your care, meaning that for the entire recovery process, you are confined to a bedroom with him hovering over you, notepad and pencil in hand and large, unblinking eyes boring holes into you. It was unsettling, and even when you were on the upswing, finally getting to where the grass was greener, he still refused to allow you out or allow others in, saying that it could compromise the research. In reality, he just didn’t want anyone else near you, he had loved having you all to himself and didn’t want to share you ever again.
Yandere!Wriothesley is surprisingly educated on what to do. Not only had a few people in similar conditions come through the prison, but it was his job to make sure that he knew everything about everyone who passed into this place. With the help of some staff at the Fortress of Meropide, he moves you into a room in the staff wing, assigning you a set of personalized staff to help with your addictions. There were only two conditions, he would check in on you every day to ensure you were sticking to your recovery and that when you were finally okay, you would work as his assistant to pay off your debt. 
Wriothesley wasn’t worried about the money that was put towards your recovery, it was nothing to someone with the title of Duke. He was more concerned with you being alive than momentary pleasures like wealth, but he used the excuse of you needing to pay him back to keep you around longer. He checks in with you every day, typically around dinner time, he’ll take a break to eat with you and talk about your day, building a relationship and establishing a connection, but sometimes he takes short breaks to check in on you. Wriothesley also speaks with the assigned group of nurses and staff that were there specifically for you every day, getting word from them on your progress and how things are looking. He enjoys seeing you slowly getting better day by day, his hope for the future strong as he dreams of the day you become officially his. He had no intention of ever letting you leave the Fortress of Meropide, at least not without him, arm wrapped protectively around you as he escorts you around, as a partner should.
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seelestia · 1 year
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Dunno why I felt compelled to do this, but-
Here's some dialogue I just thought up regarding that angsty af Zhongli oneshot that a certain someone requested (who could it be I wonder 👀👀)
The ones talking are Ganyu and the Reader.
"Do you regret it?"
"Regret what?"
"Your love."
"..."
"I regret not being born earlier."
"I regret not being a goddess."
"I regret not being the first."
"I regret not having the long straight hair he so misses."
"But most of all, I regret not being her."
"But you had no control over any of those! It's not your fault!"
"...That's exactly why it hurts."
We love angst 😩💅💅👍✨
- Ever so sadly yours, 👹✨ Jae (also hi Lia :D been a while since I been in your inbox huehue)
— 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭.
a continuation to do you love me? choose a decision at the end! only 1/2 endings available as of now.
summary: a cracked heart is like a cracked jar; it can only hold so much within before it shatters — what if you've come to terms that you cannot take the pain of the truth any longer? (1.2k+ words)
genre: angst, "loves you but not most" trope, lovers to ???? (open-ended / cliffhanger i'm sorry.) + read the alt text on the header for extra summary!
characters: ganyu, zhongli, guizhong (implied).
cw: descriptions of crying, one pet name.
thoughts: you came into my inbox after a while and you brought pain with you. i'm not particularly proud of this but here you go, i cannot be blamed for these buckets of tears any longer. (/j)
✰ main masterlist. // series masterlist.
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The night was young in Liyue, the breeze was gentle as it swept across the lands — but oh, how you wished the wind could also blow the sadness in your heart.
Blurry sight, soaked cheeks, sheer and pure numbness. For how long had you been like this? Seconds felt like minutes, minutes felt like hours, and hours felt like days. Whatever perception of time you had left just seemed to crumble to dust.
You couldn't help but wonder why? Ha, what irony when you knew very well why.
Wasn't it the truth that was relayed to you some time ago? Wasn't that why you decided to sneak away whilst your lover was sleeping, why you were crying in the company of a concerned friend, why you were here right now?
"I'm so sorry—" you choked out an apology to Ganyu through bated breath.
Your friend was out for a midnight stroll when she saw you and upon seeing how red your eyes were, she didn't leave your side out of worry ever since. You tried to reassure her that you'd be fine alone, really — but she looked so devastated, equally as sorrowful as you were like the very sadness in your heart was her own.
But you felt pathetic; so pathetic and so pitiful.
Nothing had been the same after that day, as much as you wished to deny it. Curiosity did kill the cat, after all; in your case, curiosity was what condemned your soul to a void of nothingness.
They said love was what filled a human's soul and if that were true, then you would be nothing but a shell of a soul. Zhongli gave you a love that you wished to cradle with your all forever — but he was never yours, never completely yours. Yet, how could you blame him? How could you ever blame him for experiencing a love so great he wasn't able to forget it?
"I'm not her. I could never be her," you finally forced the words out, clutching onto the railing of Liyue Harbor until a stinging pain greeted your hands. It had been the simplest conclusion, yet the hardest pill to swallow. A fate you couldn't change even if you wished you could so bad, someone unrivaled you could only imagine holding a candle to. Bitter and self-deprecating were the quiet laughter you let out at the realization.
Never was, never will.
"[Y/N], you don't have to apologize," was all Ganyu could afford to utter. She knew she should've said more, but the words escaped her barren mind; perhaps, it would be better to listen instead of saying something that could make matters worse. You could tell that Ganyu was disappointed in herself for not being able to provide you with profound wisdom or the right words of comfort.
Truthfully, you couldn't help but feel terrible for putting her in this situation, for possibly ruining her night with your mood. But when the Adeptus placed her hand on the crook of your elbow as a physical reminder that she was here for you, you smiled. Then, you turned your head towards the ocean and closed your eyes.
Finally, the pain of crying finally caught up to you, hoping that the blowing night breeze could somewhat soothe the stinging dryness and heavy bags underneath your eyes. As you did so, in the corner of your mind, a single thought passed by and you caught it by its tail.
Was it a thought meant to be voiced or buried? Either way, you brought it to life and wondered out loud.
"...Would it be better if I broke things off instead?"
Your question seemed to take Ganyu by complete surprise.
You knew why so; before your relationship with Zhongli came to be, Ganyu was one of the listening ears to your constant rambles about him. How much you admired him, how flustered you were when he smiled at you, or how you felt like you could float to the skies whenever he spared you a single glance. You recalled the surprised look on Ganyu's face when you first told her about your feelings for her Lord, but she was supportive towards your endeavor.
Now, here was where both of you stood. Oh, how time flew.
"Do you remember when he accepted my confession?" Even with your eyes closed, you could almost feel Ganyu nodding at your words. You were the same, you felt as if you could recall it like it had only been yesterday too. "I was so happy I felt like I could float to the clouds and never return. The man of my dreams is finally mine! I thought," you laughed, but there was no hint of mirth evident in your tone.
"What was it like? Being loved by him?" That sort of question sounded foreign to Ganyu but still, she asked, a willingness on her part to indulge in your nostalgia.
"Warm like having someone wrap a blanket around you and comforting like feeling the steam from a cup with your favorite tea on your face after a long day," you hummed. If loving Zhongli and being loved by him were a feeling, it would've been one that you'd never let go of... but you knew this feeling was no longer the same after the truth.
"I am not his greatest love, yet he is mine," it was something you stated solemnly, having come to terms with that fact yet not being able to fully withstand the ache that came with it yet.
When you continued, your voice broke and you frowned, "Why does it have to hurt so much? I want to stay with him, I want to pretend I didn't hear anything that day, I want to go back to the time where I knew nothing about her — but I couldn't."
The corner of your eyes began to sting once more, welling up with tears at a possibility of euphoria which you could never go to. "If only I could, then I wouldn't spend all my nights awake, wondering why I wasn't her or thinking of ways I could somehow be better than her in his eyes. If I could, I'd be sleeping happily in his arms right now and... I wouldn't feel this pain anymore."
There was no stopping the waterfall running down your cheeks now and you could feel that stinging pain again as a result. "But that's a fantasy," you breathed out. You were just so tired and your knees were beginning to feel weak — but still, you looked at Ganyu through your blurred vision.
"...What should I do? Should I save myself or dwell in blissful ignorance?" You whispered with a smile that was unbefitting of your melancholic question. Ganyu hesitated but before she could formulate an answer, a familiar spoke from behind the two of you.
"...My love," a voice that was all too familiar and a nickname that caused all that was going on in your brain to halt.
You froze, veins running cold.
"R-Rex Lapis?"
Ganyu's shocked yelp confirmed it all.
There Zhongli was, standing there. A few strands of his hair looked amiss as if licked by the wind from a fast-paced trip, as if he had just gone places, as if he just went everywhere searching after waking up with you nowhere to be found in his arms. Maybe, that was exactly what he did.
His amber eyes were downcast and the way he was standing so fixedly instead of looking like he had just arrived instantly made your heart clench — because that could only mean one thing.
He heard everything.
.
.
.
[ WHAT IS YOUR NEXT DECISION? ]
↪ Stay quiet and dwell on your thoughts of breaking up with Zhongli.
↪ Wipe away your tears and put on a smile as if Zhongli didn't hear anything. — COMING SOON!
─ ⊹ ⊱ ・・・・・・☆・・・・・・・⊰ ⊹ ─
© SEELESTIA, jan 2023. do not repost, plagiarize, translate nor claim as your own.
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anistarrose · 2 months
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The thing about the Heart Attack segment in Wonderland is that they put so much aromantic subtext in it. They accidentally put SO much aromantic subtext in it, on behalf of multiple characters, and I'm thinking about it constantly. Let me tell you all about it.
Magnus is dropped into a dating game and literally leads with "I cannot stress enough how uninterested I am in this." Now, it's perfectly valid to read this as due to him waiting for Julia, or just him being plain old uncomfortable with having his love life put in the spotlight. However! I cannot stress enough the exchange that happens just a minute or two after that line:
Magnus (describing his ideal date): ... and we don't see each other again, ‘cause I'm really not interested in dating. Audience: [exaggerated] Oooooh! (cheers) Griffin: The silhouette is like, fanning itself. Lydia: Playing hard to get, huh? It seems like our contestant is into that.
And I just have to say: unfortunately, this is one of the most aromantic fucking experiences I've seen represented in fiction in my life. I mean — saying you're not interested in romance, then having those words twisted on you, like they're some secret coded way of saying that you are interested in romance? Not having a single way to express your disinterest that'll actually be believed? That's some aro shit right there. God. Fuck.
As an aside, it's enough to really tell that Heart Attack is not designed to be a reprieve from the pain, even though it's the "good outcome" of Trust or Forsake. It's designed to be uncomfortable. To funnel suffering to Edward and Lydia, just like all the other games do. (More on that later, in fact.) But in summary:
Magnus is a character who can be read as uncomfortable with romance for either aro-spec reasons or unrelated reasons. But in either case, his discomfort attracts reactions that reek of amatonormativity — and therefore, resonate with aromantic experiences. (Psst, I did recently write a gray-aro Magnus fic!)
Two more analyses below the cut (and only one of them is for another Horny Boy):
Obviously the next character I need to talk about is Merle. I've found aroallo readings of his character to be compelling for a long time (having sex with plants so you don't have to worry about romantic commitment, am I right?), but the way he describes his "ideal date" is another factor:
Merle: I volunteer to drive her vehicle, and tell her it's filthy, and so we go through the uh- drive through vehicle wash and she pays for that too. Um, and then I take her to have dinner with my family, and- Magnus: Wait, like your wife and stuff? Merle: She meets my ex-wife.
Merle's probably exaggerating as a joke, continuing on about both him and his partner being miserable, but I think the fact that Merle's mind goes here is genuinely drawing from a lot of poor romantic experiences in the past. He didn't get a choice about being on Heart Attack, and his marriage with Hecuba was similarly "arranged".
It's also worth noting that at this point in time, Merle is putting in the work to be part of Mavis and Mookie's lives again, but is not interested in doing the same for Hecuba — he instead just asks Mavis how Hecuba's doing. That said, given that Magnus is the one to put the focus on Merle's ex-wife, I think it's fair to read the "family" comment as Merle actually expressing that he'd rather spend time with his kids than give any special romantic attention to his date. Moving on to the rest of the "joke":
Merle: She's having a miserable time and she's really mad, she can't wait to get outta there. I take her back to her house, and so I lean up against the door jam and say, 'Sure you don't want me to come in for a few minutes?' and she slams the door in my face.
It's possible Merle just has a more roundabout, self-deprecating way of expressing a similar thing to what Magnus did: Merle just isn't interested in dating. To me, the last line implies he might not say no to sex, if offered — but overall, it reads as if Merle is putting minimal effort in because he's looking for an excuse to get out of this relationship anyway.
It's also possible that Merle's "rejection" of a suitor being so disguised as humor could point to him still coming to terms with his disinterest in dating. Particularly, in comparison to Magnus, who is so vocal and unashamed about it, while Merle might still be figuring this all out.
(Honestly, the self-deprecation Merle turns to here is actually kind of sad, when viewed in that light — he already lets himself be the butt of jokes so often, and now he feels like the way romance doesn't click for him has to be a joke, too? Oof. Someone give him a hug and tell him he's not broken this instant!) But regardless:
Merle views dates, and perhaps romance in general, as things that will inevitably turn disastrous for him and any party involved with him, and he would rather spend time with his children than repairing a relationship with an ex, or cultivating a relationship with a new partner. This is not an experience exclusive to the aro-spec umbrella, but you can't say that an aromantic reading of his character doesn't fit him like a gardening glove...
...which he wears while fucking his plants. Because plants don't demand emotional intimacy, nor take too much time away from the platonic relationships that matter more to him. And you know what? He's fucking valid for that! Fly your flag, nasty grandpa!
But moving on: I promised you aromantic analysis of characters outside of our protagonists, and henceforth, that analysis I will provide. And not just because I admittedly see Taako as the token alloromantic (though clearly an aro ally; if he hadn't chosen Forsake we wouldn't have gotten all this incredible characterization!)
I digress. So let's go on to addressing the lich twins in the room: Edward and Lydia.
Remember my argument earlier that Heart Attack serves the purpose of collecting suffering just like the rest of Wonderland does? How it's just a subtler way of making Wonderland's victims fundamentally uncomfortable?
...Using, of all things, romance?
How the vogue twins, for whatever reason, felt inspired to make people uncomfortable with matchmaking and adoration? How, some way or another, they noticed how much potential romance had to induce suffering? Being pressured into a relationship, being told that no matter how firmly you say you're uninterested, you're not really uninterested?
...Relatedly, I have always gotten the sense that Edward and Lydia projected relentlessly onto their victims.
Edward: This resolve, this desire to do whatever it takes no matter the cost to save yourselves — do you know who you three remind me of? Magnus: No? Merle: Who? Edward: Us!
I'm even going to go a step further and say that on top of projection, they want their victims to go through things they went through. Swallowing the guilt of having fucked someone else over to survive, of course — that's basically self-admitted. But possibly also... the feeling of not being able to get back what you lost (Keats). The feeling of being able to heal (Keats).
So, where does that leave Heart Attack?
Lydia: It was the three of us, surviving against all odds. The world against us.
Their family of three was (is) indescribably important to them. I'm not necessarily saying that societal expectations of romance, especially of romance as a priority above that of family, left a bad taste in their mouths — if not downright contributing to their trauma — but, okay, I wrote the rest of this post and now that I'm back, I can no longer deny it. I'm definitely, absolutely saying that.
At the time of the podcast, we know Edward and Lydia's own relationship is heavily strained. Until the end, they are lying to themselves and to each other about the fact that they continue to be emotionally and magically reliant on each other. After all, Lydia wouldn't say "I guess we really needed each other after all" in her dying moments with such surprise otherwise.
This is the second reason that I... well, I wouldn't quite call it a "theory," but I find it most impactful to read Edward and Lydia as characters for whom the concept of Love has baggage. And always has, from their origins as youth in a tough spot in an already amatonormative world.
Maybe the constant societal devaluing of platonic, familial bonds left them with serious emotional scars. Maybe the constant conflation of Love and morality just weighed on them and weighed on them and weighed on them until they decided: well, we don't love the way people expect us to, so we might as well give up on being the good people they expect us to be. We might as well embrace this new fuel of suffering.
...And you know, I hope this gets across what I mean when I always say I headcanon villains as aromantic to make them more sympathetic.
Edward and Lydia, textually, are already tragic villains. As twins and liches, they're also textually foil characters to several of the Seven Birds. But I also like to think that they have a lot in common with Magnus and Merle, and the possibility that tugs at my heartstrings the most is the possibility of them all falling under the aromantic umbrella.
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ijustthinkhesneat · 2 months
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I feel compelled to expand upon the previous fae/folklore! Batboys headcanons:
-Bruce is just a straight up normal human. I think this provides a great opportunity for angst because unlike his immortal? children Bruce does age and it terrifies them. And Bruce is young he’s in his early 30s but like his knees will crack a little or his back is slightly stiff after a bad patrol and it just sends them into a spiral because they cannot fathom their dad not being around forever. I can definitely imagine them trying to strong arm Bruce into becoming some flavor of unaging. You could go super dark or just more generally emotional angst but damn the possibilities.
-Cass is giving me shadow person. Very cryptid of her. I’m not sure that I have a clear backstory for her worked out yet. Either magic gone wrong or she’s another flavor of undead like Jason and Tim. I like to imagine she just hovers over people at night to be creepy.
-Originally I wanted to say Duke was a Will-o-the-wisp. But I’m not really sure it fits, especially since he’s primarily active during the day. Then it hit me. Mothman. My lamplight boy is a moth creature. I like the idea of him hiding his little antenna under a beany and wearing sunglasses. The wings would be difficult. But my boy is creative.
- I think Steph and Barbara are also human like Bruce they just are extra bad ass.
-Coming back to life as a magical creature warps peoples memories and emotions from both the trauma and changing into something not human. Tim is significantly less effected than Jason, at least outwardly, because he was only a toddler when he died so he didn’t have many memories or experiences to draw from, but Jason was super volatile. His memories surrounding Willis became even more dark while his memories of his mother sort of glossed over her absentee parenting and drug use. Jason can’t help but struggle with associating the negative learned experience he had with his first paternal figure with Bruce. Jason ends up going to live with Talia for a while because he doesn’t want to feel that way about his dad anymore.
-Basically I think Jason, at least mentally, is the most human of Bruce’s kids besides Damian because he actually lived a life as a human, where as Tim changed so young that he doesn’t really know how to be anything but his extremely disturbing self.
-I think Gotham just has major ‘I do not see it’ energy. Like The Batfamily? Demons from hell. The Wayne’s? Hot neurodivergent people. Did you see Dick Grayson unhinge his jaw like a fucking snake at a gala? No you didn’t he just has a really big smile. Jason Todd??? Has scales??? Nope actually he just developed early onset Eczema and he’s really self conscious about it how dare you! Tim Drake sucking the blood of the himbo blonde boy? Everyone knows Tim and Bernard are total freaks. Cassandra Cain is your sleep paralysis demon? Honestly fair.
-It’s totally a coincidence that strange misfortune befalls anyone who threatens the Wayne’s!
-Clark is Bruce’s favorite man to sleep on so he gets a pass. I don’t know why but a midwestern spin on the story of princess kaguya lives in my head rent free. Like Martha Kent is just shucking corn and then boom baby in the corn. We call that children of the corn. I still love to imagine him being like so perfect that it’s high key alien, but his little sharp nails and fangies! Maybe even slightly pointy ears. And like Clark fully thinks he is human, like his parents don’t tell him humans can’t fly until he’s in kindergarten, and even then they just tell him he is special and learned super fast and shouldn’t embarrass the other kids and Clark is such a Good BoyTM that he just never uses his powers in public cause he doesn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable. Like bro doesn’t learn he is adopted until he is about to go to college, he is just straight up clueless.
-Clark learns Dick is a Fae creature when Batman brings Robin to the Watchtower cause he couldn’t get a baby sitter and Alfred doing some spooky shit like dusting the mausoleum. Like Batman just slinking around but there is this super colorful child with him. And then Dick turns and smiles and it’s just so wrong, like his mouth just stretching his face like some horror movie shit. Clark almost shots himself cause like what the fuck. Bruce told Dick to just ‘be himself’ so like he just thinks he’s being friendly. Despite being creepy as all hell Clark kinda thinks Dick is super adorable. Like was he spider crawling around the floor with all his limbs bent the wrong way while Bruce and Clark were talking? Yeah but then he just tugged on Bruce’s cape to ask for a juice box, like that’s a baby.
-Jason freaked him out in a different way. Since Jason is undead he doesn’t have a heartbeat and doesn’t need to breath so when he isn’t moving he makes literally zero noise. When he first met Clark he was just watching him from around corners and behind stair banisters and Clark was convinced he was losing his mind and hallucinating the kid from the Grudge. Then Bruce is just like “Oh you met Jason! He’s so sweet, just a little shy. He’s my second oldest! I think he likes you though.” And then a little grey blue slightly webbed hand just reaches around the corner to give a little wave and boom Clark would kill for him.
-Tim is similar in that Clark has trouble pinpointing his location because of a lack of normal bodily functions, but Tim has no idea what a boundary is. So like at first he’s a shy little toddler and then that night he’s crawling all over Clark and pranking him nonstop.
-Damian is a baby but like Clark looked in his eyes and just felt like this infant could see his past present and future and was judging him heavily. Clark was relieved cause at least he had a heartbeat.
-Cass lives to fuck with Clark. She’s Jason’s age but not only has no heartbeat and doesn’t breath, when she is in shadow form he can’t see her with X-ray vision. She can literally make herself undetectable to Superman. He learns this one night sleeping in a guest room at the manor. He gets the feeling he is being watched but can’t find anyone. Then right when he relaxes her arm shoots out from the darkness under his bed and grabs his leg. Clark screams so loud it cracks the window. And then just nearly silent muffled laughter as the arm retreats into the darkness. He X-Ray visions but nothing is there. He demands to stay in Bruce’s room after that. Bruce is just like “Oh that was just Cass. She likes playing practical jokes, she is my little princess!”
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the-modern-typewriter · 4 months
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This is such a strange question but why would my character want to save the world when there’s nothing really there for them? I guess what I’m asking is how to develop character motivations for a character who literally has no motivations??? Sorry if this is confusing I’m confused too😭
So, I can think of three approaches here.
1.
Rethink how you are considering motivation. Okay, so there is nothing really there for the protagonist, but do they WANT there to be something?
This leads to potential motivations like, I want someone who loves me (I think saving the world will get me this) or I want the nice life I don't have (and I think saving the world will get me this) etc. I want a sense of purpose/reason to matter (saving the world will give me this.) Or even, saving the world seems like a good way to die, because I don't want to feel like this (like I have nothing) anymore.
Lots of options!
Alternatively, the motivation is a strong morality/they value doing what is right. I won't gain anything saving the world, but I feel compelled to do it anyway for the people who do have something.
2.
Your character is blackmailed/forced into saving the world. This again relies on them wanting something, even if it's just "I don't want to die."
3.
Rethink your protagonist.
If you literally cannot think of a single reason why the protagonist would act or a single thing they want (motivation is want), you may not have the right character for the story you want to tell. (I don't know what your story is about enough to really comment.)
This doesn't mean you have to discard the character. They might work well for another project or alternatively as a character in this project...just not the protagonist.
Always consider who is the best, most interesting person to tell the story you want to tell. Maybe in this instance, if your character is the only one who can save the world for example, your protagonist is another character trying to give them reasons to save the world.
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sky-kiss · 4 months
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I came across the Warped Headband of Intellect which gvies the wearer 17 int and cannot stop thinking about 8 int Tav putting it on and shocking poor Raphael out of his socks with their sudden smarts. 😅 And maybe their sudden lack of them once he removes the headband. 😂
A/N: I run screaming into the night because of how schmoopy this is.
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Raphael x 8 INT Tav: Don't Go Changin'
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He pauses to regard the Little Mouse with curiosity and caution. 
She's looking at him. Not in the vacant, slightly dreamy-eyed way he's grown to expect, but with genuine understanding. Tav cocks her head to the side, eyes narrowing, lips pressing to a thin line. An uncustomarily severe look, and not one Raphael can say he likes. 
"You keep coming back," she says, unprompted, and the tone is different too. Raphael searches her face and aura for anything unusual, but there's nothing. Only a new tiara, one dull stone set in its center; it's a tacky piece, certainly not one he'd have gifted. Tav steps towards him, hesitating, before reaching out to touch his wrist. "Tell me why?" 
"You're asking questions? Are you well, my dear?" 
Her lips quirk up; the softness, at least, is correct. Tav chuckles, shrugging. "I've been running our encounters over and over in my head, trying to come up with a reason. Protecting your assets, maybe," and some alarm trills in his head because the turn of phrase is wrong. "Curiosity, perhaps. But I've signed your contract. I've made good on my word at every step. Do you distrust me?"
"Fae," the word still chokes him. "Do not trust easily. And I have lived a long and twisted life. You have the right of it. I am nothing if not protective of my interests." 
"But that isn't right." Her brow furrows, features twisting prettily. The infernal blood in his veins delights in her frustration; the mortal is…compelled to touch her. Raphael's fingers curl around her forearm. "You only rarely visited before. This," Tav gestures to him, "is a recent development. Since our…" she clears her throat, "Liaison in the Devil's Den. I have a theory, of course, but I prefer to hear your take." 
Raphael frowns, "What's happened? Where is this cunning stemming from? You've theories? You're studying me? Has the worm finally squirmed too deeply into your skull?"
"We both know the tadpole has nothing to do with this, Raphael. Now, I'm asking you for honesty. After everything, you cannot claim that is too much." 
He can and will! The devil crosses his arms over his chest, searching her face again. His gaze keeps straying to that damnable headpiece, horrific and garishly out of place on her lovely face. "I am magnanimous, but even my graces have their limits. I do not indulge my clientele's idle accusations." 
"If we examine your behavior…" 
"Hang my behavior! What has come over you?" 
One of her companions, the tiresome little spawn, sidles up to her. Astarion taps the garish piece. "Do excuse the interruption. And far be it from me to stick my nose in a devil's dispute, but…" He hooks his finger under the headband, lifting it free from her hair. 
And his Mouse's demeanor shifts all at once: all notes of pretension and accusation falling away in the face of better instincts. 
"The headband, you see." Astarion taps it. "Quite impressive what it can do from one's intellect. You know, I would have imagined you preferred a…touch of the cerebral in your partners. It seems I was wrong." 
"For her sake, I will allow that breach in etiquette, little vampling. Begone now." Raphael holds himself to the full of his height, imperious, kingly. The spawn holds his hands up for peace before slinking back into the night, leaving them alone. 
"You've come to visit me again, my prince!" Tav clutches his hand, all instinct, light, and love on her face. There is not an ounce of self-preservation in her marrow as she winds her arms around him, hungry for contact. "You must be so busy, and still, you take the time!" 
Raphael frowns, smoothing a hand over her hair. It feels…wrong, somehow. "Your earlier accusations…" 
She shakes her head, "Don't matter. I don't care why you visit. It doesn't matter. I like it. I like you." 
Submerging him in a pool of holy water would have been less jarring. The cambion blinks, staring down at Tav. 
And this once, a touch of honesty. Raphael clears his throat, an air of offended dignity and dismissal hanging around him. "My dear, for tonight, let us say the feeling is mutual." 
"Just tonight?" 
"Don't get greedy." 
She hums, delighted, pressing her face against his chest. 
And gods, it's all such a mess. 
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xythlia · 4 months
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— FALSE LIFE ˎˊ˗
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› ascended astarion x f! spawn tav
› word count : 2k+
› sorry but his ascended lines do something to me >.< & I finally felt brave enough to post this after my 200+ game hours (also im open to astarion requests btw :3)
warnings : mdni. compulsion. noncon elements. posessive behavior. angst ish. fingering. toxic relationship. reader has hair long enough to brush off shoulders. reader wears a revealing dress. pet names (dear, darling, little love, ect.). oral f receiving. he calls you dinner sorry lol
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This is the first time he's ever done this, compelled you.
If heat could still pool beneath your skin, anger more akin to molten lava beneath the surface, surely it would have. He broke his promise to you, the small thread of security that allowed you to go along with becoming a spawn. You also want to weep, wish tears could well freely in your eyes and track down your cheeks.
But even that is denied to you. Instead you're rooted to the spot, the marble flooring devoid of any echoing footsteps and the air hanging thick with frightening anticipation.
You can't reflexively jump when his lithe fingers move your hair from your shoulders, brushing your own equally icy skin. Much of your body is routinely on display for the vampire ascendant, something else you've always swallowed your displeasure on. There is also the absence of a gasp as his hand grips the back of your neck, an odd pantomime of a mother cat carrying its kitten by the scruff.
"Tell me," he asked, "do I not give you a life of constant pleasure?"
The words slip from your mouth unbidden. "Yes."
"Haven't I made sure you want for nothing?"
Again. "Yes."
His grip tightens, forcing your head to the side a bit and you wish you could wince.
"Then why, my little love, are you so insistent on acting like an ungrateful brat?" He spits out the question, forcing you to meet his ruby gaze by turning your head himself. You've never felt more doll-like, a petulant child.
"You compelled me. Forbade me from going outside the palace bounds. It upsets me that I cannot see our friends and companions. It upsets me that you broke your promise." Your affect couldn't be flatter, a dizzying contrast to how much pain you truly felt inside, a cruel effect of compulsion.
The dining room is quiet, thick with tension as he seemingly takes in your reasoning in silence.
The laughter that bursts from his lips is harsh, not because it's forced or hollow, but because it's real, legitimate laughter. He releases you to cross his arms, chortling so much tears well in his eyes. It makes something absolutely hideous twist in your gut, watching his display as if your feelings were nothing but the realms crassest joke.
All the while you stand statuesque, frozen and seething as your lover mocks you.
"Don't be stupid, darling. You're mine, remember?" Astarion caressed your jaw, positioning himself front and center in all your senses. "Your future has been mine to decide the moment that little worm was ousted from our heads."
Your eyes catch the scar on the side of his neck, bite marks like a twin to your own. Something else inside you is dying, a slow march, and soon the Crimson Palace will be more like your mausoleum than your home.
"Yes."
"Good," he pauses, seemingly sizing you up for reasons unclear, "Sit back. On the tabletop, darling."
Your movements are automatic, body and mind completely untethered from one another in terms of control. An anxiety grips your mind, sharp fingers digging into your brain and you perch on the vast, ornate table.
"Mhm, you know, I didn't get to finish my meal since you decided to spoil dinner with your silent sulking." His smile is a wicked thing. "But I do think we should move on to dessert now anyway."
One hand slides up the revealing slit of your dress, icily fondling your flesh and slowly inching upwards before his fingers are brushing along the seam of your underwear. All you can do is remain frozen, legs spread, as if you were a plaything for him to pose and contort any way he pleased. You suppose that's all you might be now.
"How about an... even trade, of sorts? In exchange for forgiving this little trespass with no punishment, you agree not to question my decisions."
Its not fair, the answer isn't truly your own. "A deal, yes."
A contented sigh leaves him as his index finger rubs up and down your clothed cunt, but his eyes are sharp and you know it's not lost on him how damp your underwear is. When he grins again those fangs are on full display, exaggerated by the shadows cast from the flickering candlelight.
It breaks your heart that he's as beautiful as ever, that still the baser parts of you can't help but desire him.
His plush lips find yours with comfortable familiarity, the perfect genius of their synched movement a testament to how much time he's spent mapping your mouth, committing it to memory. As you slip your arms around his neck you realize the compulsion is gone, but desire keeps you rooted in place, enjoying the feeling of his wandering, groping hands.
Forcing yourself to forget for selfish pleasure is surprisingly easy, a skill you've cultivated the past few months.
You gasp into his mouth as his fingers slip past your underwear, swiping through your wetness before lazily circling your already aching clit. The stimulation makes your hips jerk, chasing his hand for more friction but his other presses firmly against your hip to keep you still.
"Don't be gluttonous dear. I'm the one who didn't get to finish my dinner." He whispers against your parted lips, trailing sloppy open mouthed kisses down the column of your throat, the exposed tops of your breasts, until he's sunk to his knees in front of you.
As he lifts the skirt of your dress you lay back against the heavy polished oak table, and if your heart could race it would be galloping out of your chest in anticipation. Thankfully Astarion doesn't keep you waiting long, he was true to his word that there was no punishment this time as he pulled down your underwear and trailed chaste kisses from your calf, your thighs, all the way to your soaked cunt as you squeezed your eyes shut.
"My delicious little treat," he murmured, his breath fanning across your skin, making you clench around nothing right before he placed a kiss to your clit.
The smallest of moans escaped you and it was enough to encourage him, tongue swiping through your arousal as his fingers prodded at your entrance. When he sucked against your clit your back arched off the table and every noise became amplified: the way you were panting, the slick slurping sounds of his mouth working against you, the squelching as two fingers slid inside you to start scissoring against your spongy walls. The cacophony was enough to make your head spin as your hands flailed downward, looking to grasp any part of him you could reach.
Grasping at his alabaster hair you cry out his name, with the same reverence one would use to call out to a god, and it only spurs him on. He groans against you as your hips start to rise, chasing the stimulation from his tongue and feeling the first embers of climax catching in your abdomen.
"Please -" tears slip down your cheeks as his fingers increase their pace, his tongue devouring you ceaselessly and you nearly choked on your own cries as your thigh muscles tense impossibly tight.
Your legs shake against his shoulders as your fingers scrape against his scalp, the embers now transformed into a roaring pyre, burning you from the inside out as the edges of your mind start to peel from the internal heat and pressure. You squirm recklessly, mouth hung open in a silent cry as your upper half rises off the table.
Slowly you lay back, struggling to control your muscle tremors and with one final kiss to your throbbing clit, that makes you yelp, Astarion pulls back, draping your skirt back in place and slipping your underwear in his pocket.
"You see, I can be quite forgiving darling. Just don't push it in the future."
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crinolinecuriousity · 10 months
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so glad to know that weird girl culture is alive and well every year when I see the Stuck at Prom gallery... here are some faves from this year’s gallery, all of which were not finalists. 
view the whole gallery and vote for the winners here!
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Lizbeth -  there were a handful of outfits that were inspired by cultures but this one was one of my favorites, a love the color scheme, the fringe, and the bow, I think she did a very good job and I could genuinely see someone wearing this on the runway!
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Elizabeth - really liked her colors, which she said was inspired by a peacock at her house I think? but what stuck out to me was the gradient on the edge of her skirt and the straps
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Presley - I can definitely see why she wasn’t a finalist but she also looks gorgeous, I think it’s hard to pull off a mostly solid red dress and she genuinely looks like a Disney princess
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Jadyn - genuinely cannot believe she was not a finalist. like the first picture literally does not look like duct tape, you could tell me it was a fabric costume on Broadway and I would believe you.
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Catrielle - another one I can’t believe wasn’t a finalist! there are always a handful of outfits that use gold but I love what she did with it. plus the shoes and the bag?? love love love
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Ava - I could LITERALLY see this at the Met Gala red carpet. the detailing is insane and the skirt came out looking really nice and even. she looks gorgeous!
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Ritika - there were a couple of circle skirts but this was one of my favorites. her theme of harmony seemed relevant with a lot of the current events going on as well - the skirt is colorful but isn’t distracting and I think it’s a more elaborate dress that actually manages to pull off the busier look
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Veronica - I DEFINITELY think she should have been a finalist for suits. like I think this outfit is more compelling and has a cooler background (Filipina culture) than like. the white(?) guy who just made a samurai suit. I really love how she like... feminized the suit jacket if that makes sense? I think she slayed it
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Madyson - this one was so fun to look at! I love the manta ray bag and the sand dollar earrings too, I would love to see a fabric rendition of this dress. you can tell she had a lot of fun making it from the pictures, too.
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Eliza - this one was inspired by a Shakespeare line if I remember correctly and it really reminds me of old 80s/90s catalogues. was really impressed by the puffed sleeves!
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Owen - there’s always more dresses than suits entered since most of the competitors are girls. this was a suit that was inspired by the AIDS crisis quilts, I think he should have been a finalist and he looks more put together than some of the suit finalists
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Kendyl - this one was insane to me - she looks gorgeous and I could see this being a real fabric prom dress or a dress a celeb wears on the red carpet. I can’t get past the detailing and the ruffles?? insanely talented
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Lily - personally I think this suit would have looked better without the rectangles on the pant legs but that being said, I love this outfit so much, you can tell what she drew inspiration from and I think it’s simple but classy and it works beautifully. I could see this on the runway!
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mooncheese3 · 4 months
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au wherein when sj first got into the sect and went down to the brothel, he runs into a young wannabe rogue cultivator
the rogue was, well, roguish— rough, rule detesting, and flighty. handsome. brown eyes and warm cheeks, most likely a slight sunburn (because of course he doesnt have a hat). he looked around sjs age, if a bit older. more height than muscle, but with time and experience sj reckons he’d grow broader as well. the only thing that caught sj’s eye at the time though… was his terrible spending habits!
what was he doing, getting scammed out of his coins over some sword tassels of all things. atrocious!!!!!!
if theres one thing sj cannot stand and can relate with sqh, its detesting those who cannot use their money right. his shitty day adds onto his anger, so rather than leaving it alone, sj goes over to the pair of merchant and customer, scolding the merchant first and then the rogue cultivator. the rogue, new to this living out of his mansion thing (his previous life as the fourth son with too much freedom couldnt compare to now, he doesnt even have people to fall back on for funds!), decides, ‘hey, this persons nice enough to tell me i did something wrong, why not keep going to him for help?’
the rogue camps out at that town, always there to pester sj once he comes down the mountains. sometimes sj lectures him, sometimes sj scolds him, and sometimes he simply observes how sj acts around the streets and notes down whatever he gleans. it goes on for weeks, until finally the rogue (and secretly sj) feels like he can survive out there—all he needed now was experience, something he cant get with just the knowledge he now has
after that, sj expects to never see him again. when people get what they want, they leave. thats just what happens, simple as that.
but then, to sj’s astonishment, he meets the rogue again! not on accident, mind you.
“well, we’re friends now!” the rogue says, “/and/ i saw an imitation of one of your paintings at an auction and was like, ‘i should visit’”
sj immediately thinks that isn’t true. there must be something else the rogue wants from him.
and so once in a while, at least once or twice every two months, sj continues to encounter the rogue whenever he goes down the 12 peaks. each time, sj’s doubts ever so slightly melt away. and each time they meet again, they both note to themselves that the other has changed.
sj notices how the rogue comes back with a harsher tan, wider now in his frame. hes more confident and mature, more streetsmart and wise. the guy isn’t so prone to impulse, now taking the time to think before doing something. a small improvement, to be honest, since he still goes and does something foolish, just with a backup plan—though sj bets theyre made up on the spot most times (he also finally invested in a cloak— apparently he has a thing against hats? sj’ll find out one day, he’s sure)
the rogue on the other hand notices how sj comes back more refined, more otherwordly in aura. his quips and witty remarks have taken on a new level, he probably needs to go back to reading to get half of the references! he walks smoother, and each step he takes looks as light as a feather—how does he do that! (worryingly, the rogue also notices how sj always looks like he’s being weighed down, and that his walls are higher than ever before. did something happen?)
the day sj realizes the rogue is the first person to not want to take something from him, and who he’s sure wont leave, even if the time spent together is so much lesser than being spent apart, he feels…scared. anxious, as if now that he’s been made aware, the world will now make it its mission to take this one thing away from him. for the first time, instead of driving the rogue away like all the others, he feels compelled to stick as close as possible. being away from the sect is an added bonus.
the rogue likes this change, though is confused as to what brought this on. oh well, the company is nice! now he can show sj all the little things that reminded him of sj he found on his travels. like this one staff being displayed in a shop: it was such a pretty shade of green! or, or this one lake in a cave, the ripples would be nice to paint right? especially when the light from those bioluminescent vines hit the water.
sometimes they get separated on their travels, but they always find each other again. unconsciously, instances like these help heal sj’s fears.
in short the two of them go from strangers, to acquaintances, to friends (in the distant future lovers AAAAA)
sidenote: rogue guy is like, similar to lqg in how he goes about his morals. hes a do good, think about it later, type of guy. while lqg’s a do good, DONT think about it ever, type of guy.
he got disowned by his family because he exposed them for selling counterfeits, tax evasion, import and export of illegal items etcetc to the authorities. while he doesnt regret doing the right thing, he does regret doing it loudly and without a plan. the family members he knew were innocent, who he didnt at least warn beforehand so that they can get away/cut ties before all of it goes to shit, were and will continue to be shamed by everyone they come across for the crimes the rest of the family committed
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