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arrowsinmyskull · 1 year

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“what you say is merely copper is my gold.”

— yan oc concept : yan ! soldier x gender-neutral ! commander ! reader —

TW: SUGGESTIVE, EXPLICIT MENTIONS OF STALKING, YANDERE THEMES, which includes: unhealthy devotion, obsession, borderline worship.. implications of shitty writing done late at night because i have nothing else to do on a regular old saturday, lotsa profanity because i literally type like that

a/n: yeah. so i wanted to write a damn near worshipper mf. i sent all these concepts to my homie on discord, n they were like “THIS IS TUMBLR WORTHY” (this was also their favorite out of all the ideas for writing i had so like i hope this is cash money) i dont think i have much other shit to do aside from study psychology or something interesting or whatever but thats bORING i wanna write people gettin on their knees for ya ykwim??? fyi when i say chest it doesn’t always have to mean an afab person’s chest lmao,, just so yall know everybody has a chest mfs whether there are boobs or not. this darling little soldier does not fuckin’ discriminate!!!!!! yippee!!!!

—————

so like, let’s get this straight: THIS SON OF A BITCH LOVES YOU MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF. they are wholly yours, but you’ll never be theirs in return. ya know why?? bc their stubborn ass thinks they’re lower than you, as you’re their superior.. therefore you should just own them by now <3

when they see you on the battlefield, they’re always so enamored.. as if your beauty distracts them from the fact that this is literally a life-or-death predicament.

nah cause like they always look for opportunities to be with you & to love you because all they wanna do is be a hardworking, obedient lil soldier to you. more specifically, your favorite little soldier.

they always worship you as though you were a deity amongst mortals.

they have a diary completely devoted to you. all they write about is you, your perfection, your beauty, the gorgeous shine in your eyes, from all that is romantic to the most erotic, sinful thoughts that run through their head about you: every curve and lack thereof, how much they crave for you to fuck them like a doll, your subservient doll, until they cry. they want tears to stream down their face so that you could see the sheer amount of love they have for you in those watery, half-lidded eyes. their bawling tells you that they would submit, no matter how much you hurt them. they're in their most vulnerable for you, because they deserve to become your toy.. nothing more. but, as a sinner, they're aware that they'll never get what they want.

obsession.. is an understatement. they're smitten, head-over-heels, down on their knees for you... and one day, one day they'll be on their knees between your pretty, perfect legs.

they watch you day and night, even in your private moments. they want to see you when you’re vulnerable, when they get to witness their god’s breathtaking body, without any garments to obscure your glory.

even when you're all alone, putting in no effort to please anyone, you're so gorgeous. your insecurities just make them love you more. they want to kiss those insecurities away, to tell you that you, the love of their life and their god, will never have any imperfections.

they wish they could be more intimate, even though they’re aware that seeing you during times they shouldn’t is technically meant to be enough.

it’s just.. they don’t just want to witness you. they may love you more than everything, but they still wish to indulge. they’re still greedy. they want to touch you when you are bare, they want to let their hands wander as they worship you face-to-face. they want your lips to touch theirs, once and for all. and they will end up in such a predicament someday.. your loyal servant, sinning right where you can see them. they know they aren’t worthy, but they yearn for you nevertheless.

they don’t just want you. they don’t just crave for every bit of you. they need you, all of you, they need your body & mind, they need your touch, your affection.. everything. they know damn well that they’re below you, as a simple follower, but please.. please just let them enjoy you just this once.. and they’ll do everything you desire. spoil them a little once in a while, won’t you?..

anyways have a scenario of them cuddling with you when war isnt threatening everybody :) enjoy the content because like fluff is important in this world mwah mwah bye

—————

they nuzzle into your chest, arms wrapped around your waist. the rays of the rising sun dimly gleam through the curtains, and all you two have been doing was cuddle, cuddle, cuddle. but are you complaining? absolutely not! your pretty warrior is so adorable when they cling to you as they let sleepy mutters slip from their lips. words of reverence, obsession, and utter devotion. they can’t help it, don’t you understand? they just love you oh, so much.. and they have to let you know. otherwise, how would you ever believe their loyalty to you?

“you’re so perfect, everything about you, everything’s so.. flawless.. i love you, you.. only you.. i love, love, love you, more than you could ever know.. i.. love.. you..”

they mumble in-between soft kisses as they worship you and your body, which was handcrafted by divine hands. you're so pretty that it's genuinely painful for them.. and they're definitely going to show you that. their shaky hands wander, teardrops falling onto your holy garments and their lowly, sinful flesh.. and when you reciprocate even a mere sliver of the affection that they've given you, they break. their trembling, pathetic body goes limp under your touch, leaning into the love that you blessed them with, even if they're shuddering with watery eyes.

all this ever did was remind them of how incapable they are of living without you.

as soon as your soft hands graze against their hair, they're on the verge of collapsing just from how good you make them feel. your arm on their waist sends them to heaven, your divine abode.. they are definitely willing to die for you right now, as long as you hold them before their heart ceases to beat. hold their hand as you two cuddle, and they're already straight up melting from your godly fingers. oh.. how they wish those very fingers could wander further than their mere hands. how would it feel if your touch was between their legs? how much euphoria would they go through if you held onto their bare thighs, driving them to tears? they need that, they lust after such fantasies more than you could ever know. their thoughts are taunting them as they become tainted with the desires of a sinner.

their gaze.. when they look up at you, there are reminders of their limerence, their infatuation. you're just recalling just how smitten they are, when they stare with a quivering lip and tears threatening to fall. unbeknownst to this darling soldier of yours, they aren't the only ones with unholy thoughts.

you just have to wait until one of you decides to act on it. 'patience is a virtue', you both would like to believe, as you bask in eachother's warmth for the morning.

—————

im sorry this was short im like having a bad case of writers block or whatevrr u call it..

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sickknotdoom · 4 months

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Im genuinely really disappointed in Kittycorn for the fact that despite kit's relatively large following, kittycorn has said NOTHING publically about palestine, despite having the power to lead a lot of people to a lot of resources.

“Kit doesn’t have much of an internet presence outside of Sparklecare!!!” Then explain to me why i see so many popular artists who barely share jackshit about their personal lives, not even their pronouns, and yet still reblog and share stuff about Palestine. Kittycorn has literally 0 excuse not to say *anything*.

I'm gonna be so real and say that I'm half-expecting Kittycorn to be like "oh i dont reblog anything about it cuz it makes me sad :-((("

kit could at least like. Draw the Sparklecare characters in support for Palestine. Kit could do the bare fucking minimum here.

Kittycorn has such a large following and a lot of power, whether kit likes it or not. I understand Kittycorn did not want this large following, nor does kit want more of it, but christ can you fucking do something?

I don't know why people aren't talking about this.

holy fucking shit youre right. ive noticed that too but i didnt wanna bring it up because i know that would make me seem "desperate" to "attack kit" or something but yeah. the ONLY thing ive seen kit do to raise awareness is post an announcement with the arab.org link in the comet caring club server. yknow the one that most fans DONT EVEN KNOW ABOUT since its closed off? yeah. no public statement or anything. no tags in any bios, no watermelon emoji, nothing. COMPLETE SILENCE on anything that isnt kits own comic. fucked up, especially since the sparklecare blog is without a doubt kits biggest platform.

there was this fanart of uni holding the palestinian flag and it was really accurate to the official artstyle, i thought it was official when i first saw it. and it had a shit ton of reblogs, including me on my main. i recognized so many names scrolling through the list. but wanna know who i DIDNT see? thats right, the official sparklecare blog. kits either ignoring it completely or actively dancing around the subject, which is NOT GOOD.

i am in no way trying to accuse kneeby or anyone on the sparklecare team of being a zionist, but i would definitely like to highlight the blatant ignorance the official blog has shown. this isnt the only time ive seen kneeby act this way, as kit also has #blm #acab in kits twitter bio but from what ive seen kits done absolutely nothing to actually raise awareness to said causes, which rubs me the wrong way since im black myself. however now kneebys completely avoiding doing anything, not even a hashtag anywhere. just a single announcement in a private discord.

and yes im putting fanart and au tags on this post, people need to notice this. do better.

#free palestine #free gaza #from the river to the sea palestine will be free #sparklecare hospital #sparklecare fanart #sparklecare uni #sparklecare barry #barruni #cometcare au #cometcare oc #cometcare fanart #.txt

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mdhwrites · 1 year

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What are your core problems with The Owl House?

I'm feeling sick so I'm doing one that's weirdly a little simpler. Not simple but simpler. (It did not stay simple. Shocking, I know.) So if I were to be objective, I think the core problem with TOH is ego. I've been saying it a LOT recently on my Discord that "Ego is the death of art." Eventually, once you get your head shoved so far up your ass, you just stop being able to produce something good because you can't even make the statements you're wanting to make. That's the real death knell for TOH. It is so focused on being special and being meaningful that it forgets to be fun but it's also so self satisfied and convinced that its elements are sacrosanct that they don't question how they're using those elements or what they're actually saying. There's a reason why I'm personally happy as an author that I normally figure out themes within my works post figuring out what they're going to be like because my first goal is just making sure the story is COHERENT. And TOH doesn't give a FUUUUUUU- But subjectively... It's the characters for me that are the core of what lost me with TOH and what attracted me at first. S1 doesn't have the greatest cast. I literally brought in a two off antagonist in Boscha to have a third main character in my stories and focused WAY more on the Blights than literally ever including King in Power of Love. But... That is also is fine because just Amity and Luz in S1 by themselves has an incredible amount of potential as well just being incredibly likable. In fact, for all the shit I gave Eda and King a literal day ago, S1 of them are... enjoyable enough. King's joke is well and truly played out by then so I literally could not care about him but he is the best comic relief in S1. Not a high bar but he does clear it. Meanwhile, Eda has enough interesting going on with the curse to make her flaws not as apparent. Lilith is a compelling antagonist and the possibility of her bringing her more interpersonal comedy style into the main cast was exciting. Gus and Willow are barely characters but they're written likably and don't ever do anything truly wrong which could be said about them for the whole show.

And that also just kind of brings up the awkward element of S1. You have Amity and the curse but otherwise... It all feels like setup. Like we're seeing the first traces of these characters but we still haven't gotten a good, deeper impression of any of them yet. Including the world quite frankly. For fanfiction this was AMAZING. Everything was setup to go in a billion different ways, especially with Amity and Luz (individually or together) and it was exciting to theorize about. I tempered my expectations of course, I doubted I'd ever get the true nuance of my own version of Odalia and Alador but... I expected something a little smarter. The show seemed like it trended that way after all. That a bit more care and realism was put into the characters of the show. And then S2A is... more setup. Or just entirely changing characters to new forms of themselves that we still don't really know. All we do know is that they're less compelling. Amity becomes literally nothing more than Luz's girlfriend and how easy her change becomes more and more apparent with each passing episode. We get Momma Eda in one of her like... Two, maybe three appearances as any sort of criminal in S2 and they're ALWAYS motivated by someone else's scheme. I guess maybe not with Reaching Out but I'd have to check. The point is that the firebrand version of Eda is FIRMLY dead. Lilith becomes a total joke who's hard to even give credit to for the curse because Affearances is making her nothing more than a pathetic woman with unresolved mommy issues because... Sure. That's what the ex-coven head is just like now. Willow has ALL traces of either her morality or really any personality just gone for half a season, in part because she has no part in this season. She even insults Gus for his illusions in Escaping Expulsion in a scene where I SWEAR they swapped Amity and Willow's lines. Not that either should be pushing for bum rushing the door but it makes more sense coming out of plant goddess Willow than theoretically smart girl Amity.

And then you have Luz who is acting even more indignant this half season? Like not a lot has changed but the shifting tone is catching up to how they write Luz. How she can so quickly get annoyed at things not going her way or people not treating her like she's special. How she'll use her friends for personal gain. How she needs to be better than everyone else, both in her eyes and the writer's eyes. All while this isn't getting properly getting interrogated by the characters or even a bit of snark from Eda like it would in S1. It frankly reminds me of something I would say about bad porn: It's Barbie dolls being mashed together. They may have a little flair, like this one is wearing a skull hat or this one is non-binary, but as far as real personality goes... It didn't matter. You could swap out anyone and the writers would force it to work regardless. What personality was there was becoming increasingly cookie cutter or accidentally mean and cruel, just like toxic beauty standards. It's not Barbie's fault that sticks on a torso is the beauty standard to America but it also has no interest in being smart enough to make an appealing doll while avoiding reinforcing the worst parts of it.

And like bad porn, the reason this is done is similar. Rather than actually dealing with the emotions and complexities present in the topics and actions that are desired for the story, they make it so the characters just do it anyways. In porn, you get fucking. In The Owl House, you get... Subversion and representation I guess. But like sex with no setup or emotion, you need to only want the face value elements of these things or else you're just going to feel like you're watching other people having a MUCH better time than you while you're wondering why you're there. Also, yes, this is a weird metaphor. It's mostly done I believe. I do want to mention though that this is why my erotica series struggled to have a lot of sex scenes because those books took themselves and their characters and concepts pretty seriously so I couldn't just ignore the characters if they just weren't in the mood.

The fact that the main payoffs are emotional and metatextual statements that are poorly setup is a REAL problem. It has the feeling of a highschooler who's spent too much time on Twitter seeing their seven year old baby sister playing with her dolls and stopping her from doing that to then put the Barbie on a soapbox and lecture their sister about how dolls are oppressing her and having fun like this is awful. It's not just boring, it's literally anti-fun. Worse yet, it's not smart enough about the topics not to feel mean spirited and somewhat misguided in how its doing it. As an example, they wanted good queer rep. Unfortunately, Amity turned into an incredibly bland trophy for Luz, as boring a pointless as any straight female love interest frankly, and Raine is criticized by much of the fandom for obviously existing only for Eda. They're not just turned into a sexy lamp: That's almost their point from go with how little time they AREN'T just about Eda. This all culminates in the real turning point of the series. Now yes, I've said the point of no return is Escaping Expulsion but that episode is more the objective core issue's turning point. It's the show going "We're not as smart as we think we are and so are going to murder some of the elements that are stopping us from doing whatever we want to... But that doesn't mean we're gonna have fun with it either. Instead, we're going to act lazy, bitter and make the laziness and forced aspects of this episode way too apparent as we move on to what makes us feel special like Lumity." For the characters, Yesterday's Lie is the final nail in the coffin. I've talked before about how Vee's callout of Luz not only makes the problems of S2A being awkward with Luz's character more questionable, it throws her entire CONCEPT into question. Whether she ever was made an outcast because of others or because she told other outcasts to go fuck themselves. Why didn't she know anyone like Mascha after all? They clearly exist in Gravesfield. Why was she trying to be a cheerleader when she clearly isn't interested in sports or athletics. At least most of the time. S1 seems really fucking confused about whether or not she's a nerd or a truly basic bitch school kid who likes everything at least a little bit. But you didn't question it until the new statement that wanted to be made with Luz was "We have a dramatic, changing protagonist who is not just a ball of sunshine but also capable of extreme levels angst and change. She's not just another cartoon main character."

Boy that statement is reeking of ego though, isn't it? Especially when the point Luz isn't going to become "Reality matters over fantasy, others are more important than me," but instead her character finish is "I literally need everyone to recognize that I'm the most special person on the planet and I will only properly listen to anyone who is like me since I blatantly ignored everything my mom said until she earned my attention by being a closet nerd." Luz's character finish is REEEEEALLY BAD.

And no, I don't blame this on the shortening. Just look at fucking Amphibia. It has a VERY vivid cast that mostly keep to their own roles that are dictated by their personalities and despite the lack of time characters like Sasha get, the show knows how to sell their personalities, their relationships, what they're doing, etc. like that almost instantly and part of that's because it's having fun. It's willing to take things to the extreme from go. Sasha's INTRODUCTION is convincing someone to turn themselves into a CLOWN and leave their entire life behind so as to make it so she's no longer guarded. You are sold IMMEDIATELY on this being some master manipulator... But then she also saves Grime and her manipulations are through kindness rather than cruelty like most others which reinforces the loose threads we already had on Anne and her's relationship. You can see she's such a close friend... But why she's not a GOOD friend. And you know all of this by the end of S1 where she gets ONE AND A HALF EPISODES. That is frankly more than I can say about, especially firmly, the majority of TOH's cast by the end of S1. MAYBE Luz and definitely Amity clear the bar but that's the main character and her love interest. Not King. Not Eda. Not even Belos, the main fucking antagonist. I could have speculated on him but I could have told you more about Grime through the toads, Sasha and effectively his ONE episode than I can about the leader of the ENTIRE ISLES.

It really does continue to make me wonder why I'm not compelled to write Sashannarcy instead of Lumischa, the two share a lot of similarities after all, when even S1 has Sasha and Anne as so much more dynamic than Luz and Amity. I guess I liked the playground though. There was more empty space for me to play in with my own writing and I definitely will admit that the fandom, for both TOH and Amphibia, have made me feel far more connected to the shows than the actual products. I'm just weird that way I guess and it's probably why I keep ending up here. Where the show has gone fallow on me and I no longer see the characters as fun people with potential but instead just mean spirited Barbie Dolls.

It happened to me with MLP and it happened to me with TOH. *sigh*

============

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead, If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

And finally a Twitter you can follow too!

#the owl house criticism #toh critical

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salt-volk · 10 months

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Saw the post about "other sites" and I'm feeling ~salty~, so lemme give some context for where the bar is with pet sites to y'all. Maybe you've seen ads, maybe you tried playing it and quit because the tutorial is its own circle of hell, maybe you're a blessed person who has never heard of it: Sylestia. It's run by one (1) man. He codes the entire site, has exactly 0 help - by choice. People have literally offered to help him with coding stuff *for free* and he refuses to let anyone touch his precious code. His ex girlfriend (yes you read that right) is supposedly the other admin - she barely ever shows up, posts games/events that are full of errors, once vanished in the middle of running a game, and has personally insulted players before because they dared offer feedback on one of her ugly ass designs. There is exactly one artist for avatar items and one for pets - one other artist is listed in the credits but it's unclear what regular work, if any, they do for the site. Over 200 different avatar items are released per year, and new pet traits debut anywhere between 4-8 times per year, AND the site is in the (glacially slow) process of redoing all the art for various species. The site is at least 98% RNG by volume - including items you pay premium currency for. Retired items? RNG only. Getting pets? RNG. Getting items period? RNG. And the RNG is also awful - people are constantly having to literally beg for rates to be adjusted. Plenty of features for events are also just. straight up gambling - you can pay solid chunks of premium currency and walk away with items that are literally worth nothing. You think DV is grindy? Sylestia not only practically requires you to spend a full workday glued to it - including events that basically require you to literally not sleep for several days - the site owner is actively making new content to further encourage ridiculous amounts of grinding. Why? Because he's worried that older players will be bored without new content - so instead of fixing any of the old content on the site, or the site itself which is a mess, he makes new content that ALSO doesn't work. As of December, the site will be in its ELEVENTH YEAR IN BETA. So when I say "not fixing old content", I'm not talking like, a couple glitches or iffy art. I'm talking *half the site is completely incompatible with the other half*. And all of that my friends, is still somehow not the source of my salt. Someone pointed out to the site owner that one of his avatar items was, perhaps, a bit racist. It was (I should say is, it's still on the site :) ) a stereotypical native american dress, CLEARLY based off of the stupid Pocahontas movie, titled "Pow Wow Costume". It was released with a Pilgrim costume in the site's early years. Pretty not great, yeah? Multiple people complained, provided him sources explaining why "Maybe don't keep this on here, maybe this isn't great". He, is white. He responded by saying he a) would not remove it, b) did not think it was offensive, c) what about the Christmas items or St. Patrick's day items the site has aren't those the same, and d) he actually visited a reservation once so he knows it's OK to have those items, and e) native players should actually be HAPPY to have those items because it was to iNcLuDE tHeM. I am not joking. The site has 0 acknowledgement of pride month, not a banner, not an announcement, no items, no anything - it DOES however have an entire festival for the American Fourth of July holiday. The owner claims he doesn't like to have political things on his site, make of that what you will. The owner also issued a mass ban on a bunch of people because they said some rude shit (about the racist items, the rng, his refusal to get coding help, general issues taking feedback, etc.) in a private, off-site discord server. How did he know what they said? Why, he asked some players in the server to *spy on the others for him*. He edited time stamps out and published a bunch of the screenshots from this private server, out of context and who knows if they were edited, and threw a public tantrum about how the players were harassing him and secretly planning to destroy the site… by bitching in a private discord. So yeah. Not excusing Anji's behavior, but happy to show y'all exactly how much worse it could be LMAO.

#submission

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strawberrymilkgeorge · 3 years

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Part Four. "You hosted me?? In MINECRAFT??"

warnings: swearing but that’s it (i think)! just karl being a goof and dream being a little shit but whats new word count: 3k (not ncluding pictures)

behind the screen (irl dream x reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

**********

Y/n sat to Karl's left, out of the camera's view as he scrolled through Twitter on his PC.

"Um... oh, how did you guys meet?" Karl read before looking offscreen at Y/n. "Uh... school?"

"What? I was going to make up a funny story but I'm appalled by the seriousness in your voice! Is that really how you think we met?"

The embarrassment on his face answered her question. "Karl! I'm two years younger than you, how would we meet have met at school?"

"I don't know!" he said back defensively, raising his shoulders. "Clubs?"

"Like I was in any of the nerd clubs you were in."

"Well, then, how did we meet?"

Y/n sighed with a laugh. "Our moms–"

"Oh, wait wait, I remember!" he cut her off, excitedly looking towards Y/n. "Our moms are friends and they forced us to hang out." He smiled proudly and looked back to his screen as he continued scrolling for good questions. "If I'm honest, I only still hang out with you because my mom makes me."

Y/n smacked Karl's arm and he laughed but pretended to be hurt. "WHAT THE HONK, BUGSY?!"

"I can't stand you. I barely hit you, nimrod."

Karl giggled and read another one. "How tall is Bugsy? Two feet, four inches."

"No, I'm 7'6," Y/n lied easily and Karl laughed.

"How tall are you actually?"

'I think 5'10 or something? Maybe 5'11. I'm not 6' but I'm taller than you for sure, I know that much–"

"Okay, you are not taller than me. Just to be clear. Chat, Bugsy is not taller than me."

"Yes, I am. Wanna test it?"

"No," he replied quietly in defeat.

"Because you know I'm right," Y/n laughed as her eyes flicked over to read chat. They were spamming their surprise, expecting her to be short. "Yeah, no, chat, I'm tall. I'm taller than Karl."

"Only because your shoes make you tall! Doc Martens are tall and that's pretty much all you wear!"

"You're shorter than me when I'm barefoot!"

"That's literally false. Like completely."

"Just accept it, shorty."

"I'll accept that you're taller than George and Sapnap, but not me. I'm barely taller than you but I'm still taller."

"Whateverrrr. I'll move on to protect your dignity."

Karl ignored her and laughed, pointing to a message from Dream in Karl's chat.

"Dream said I have short girl energy," Y/n read.

"You kinda do."

"What does that even mean?"

"You're shy around new people and you act all sweet."

"So tall girls can't be shy and sweet? Or shy and sweet girls can't be tall?"

"Stop twisting my words," Karl groaned.

"Also, wait, what do you mean I act sweet? Am I not?"

"No, you are. But I mean you also aren't when you don't want to be. Upset Bugsy is scary Bugsy."

Y/n frowned, not recalling a time she's ever been angry or upset at Karl but she let him move on. He pointed to another tweet as he looked at Y/n, giving her an 'I told you so' look. She read it before shaking her head at him.

"Don't read that one."

"Pleeease, can I answer?"

"No!" she whisper-shouted. I don't want to be shipped with him for asking or you for answering, she mouthed so Karl's chat couldn't put together clues.

"Are you assuming I'll answer positively?" he teased, earning him a hard smack on the arm.

Y/n couldn't help but notice every time she put her hands in the frame, which was usually to hit Karl, half of the chat turned into simps requesting a hand pic because they could see her bracelets and nail polish and now that they knew she was tall they wanted to see how big her hands were. They really wanted every crumb of content they could have regarding her looks. She caught one that said something pretty kinky about her hands which she tried to scrub from her mind immediately.

"Fine," Karl sighed at her request to not read Dream's tweet out loud, instead reading another. "Bestie sleepover? Yes! Bestie sleepover! Bugsy and I are gonna cuddle all night--"

"No, we aren't. I'm sleeping on a completely different bed. Or couch. Nowhere near you."

"WHY DO YOU HATE ME?"

"Karl! Stop trying to get me to cuddle with you!" Y/n laughed as she pushed away his arms, which were trying to give her a hug. "You're a freaking heater and I don't like touching people!"

"That's my worst nightmare in a friend, how did I end up with you?"

"No idea. Deal with it. It's still a bestie sleepover even if we don't cuddle."

Karl giggled and looked back at his stream. "Oh, by the way, in case anyone ever wanted to know or was Dreaming about it, Bugsy is very cute. Just thought I'd mention it in case anyone was wondering or if anyone tweeted specifically asking..."

Y/n smacked his arm again as she yelled, "Karl!"

He grabbed his arm in dramatic pain as if it had been cut off. "Ow! Ow! Bugsy hit me!" he cried as he fell to the floor. "Oh my gosh. Someone call a doctor!"

"I cannot stand you," Y/n informed as she stared down at him. She glanced at chat, who were all joking about how bad his condition was, saying things like they might have to amputate his arm. "Chat, don't encourage him. Oh, Karl I know what we can do!"

"As long as I don't need two arms for it..." his voice still laced with fake pain.

"Karl Jacobs."

"What is it?"

"Give me a tour of Dream's SMP. Dream whitelisted me yesterday."

"Oh, yeah! What could have possibly made you think of him?" he teased as he got back in his chair.

Y/n glared at him and he cowered slightly.

"Minecraft, yes. There's a PC in the other room you can play on. Do you need help setting it up?"

"No, I've streamed once or twice," Y/n teased as she stood up.

"I'm just trying to be a good host! Gosh!"

"Wait, I have to cross over to leave the room."

"Just do it? What's the issue? Literally no problem, just walk?" he joked before zooming in his camera on his face so it took up the whole screen. Y/n laughed as she went across the room, chat now forced to look at disturbingly close footage of Karl staring directly into the camera with his eyes crossed.

Y/n called Karl on Discord after logging in. "Hi, Karl and Karl's stream."

"Are you on yet?"

"I'm logging in to my Minecraft account right now."

"Okay, join a vc on the smp discord so others can talk to us if we run into anyone. I'll be over in a minute, just give me a bit to read some donations." They both muted, leaving Y/n to herself.

She typed in the IP address to the server and joined a random voice channel that no one was in. She spawned and looked around, confused by the cobblestone wall around her. Her phone lit up so she occupied herself with the texts from Naomi.

A green figure caught her eye on the screen and she looked up. In the distance was Dream's infamous green Minecraft skin punching the air as he faced her. He ran towards her and stopped in front of her. She set her phone down and slid it away, crouching as his character did the same.

Dream whispers to you: are you streaming you whisper to Dream: no but Karl is and he's about to get on to tour me Dream whispers to you: hmmm okay here

He uncrouched and dropped a few diamond blocks before punching the air again and running away.

Dream whispers to you: shh don’t tell anyone you whisper to Dream: omg :D ty <3 you whisper to Dream: first twitch donos now mc donos you whisper to Dream: rich man over here giving out money and diamonds to everyone like it's candy Dream whispers to you: no, only to you Dream whispers to you: a little gift before our date ;) Dream whispers to you: oh and this

He came back and paused in front of Y/n before dropping a red poppy and sprinting away again. She acted cool despite the huge smile on her face.

you whisper to Dream: charming you whisper to Dream: you give me a flower and dart away before I can properly thank you Dream whispers to you: oh yeah? how would you have thanked me?

Y/n smiled, her cheeks flaming up as a dirty thought entered her mind. Stop, he's not flirting, she told herself. It’s literally a block game and he’s not flirting.

you whisper to Dream: guess we'll never know ;) KarlJacobs joined the game

"I'm back," Karl's voice filled her headset as he joined her voice channel, snapping her out of her thoughts. "Where are you?"

Y/n looked away from the chat in Minecraft and turned around in the game. "Still at spawn. Some forest and cobblestone walls."

"Go left and I'll meet you halfway."

As she ran, the Minecraft chat reappeared with new messages for everyone to see.

<Dream> hey Karl <KarlJacobs> hello Dream <Dream> thanks for answering my question on your stream <KarlJacobs> just doing my civil duty as a bugsy dream shipper <KarlJacobs> official petition for the name to be dreamsy <Dream> signed

"Oh my gosh," Y/n muttered, making Karl laugh.

"What?" Karl asked innocently, but his laugh was maniacal. "Oh, I found you. This way! I built everything on the server, by the way. So if anything is impressive, just remember that I did it."

"Karl, that's the biggest lie you've ever told me. I watch the lore videos."

"Well, I did build it all so I don't know what to tell you. Let's go this way first."

Y/n followed as he showed her stuff, including background and unknown facts about things that have happened off stream. After the tour, they messed around the chessboard. At some point, she found a blue cornflower and turned to Karl.

"Do you have an anvil?"

"I don't exactly have one on me at the moment but I think there's one over here. What for?"

She killed some chickens with her fist to gain XP so she could carry out the task in mind. "I need to name this flower I found." She followed him a few blocks away and clicked the anvil and named the flower 'love, bug'. "Okay, thanks."

"Why did you name it?"

"It's a gift for someone."

"Me?" he asked as his character jumped up and down.

"No. My presence is your gift."

"Ouch. You know, honestly, I'm really hurt by that. Like, why would you say that to me? It's just sorta rude."

"Fine, I'll go get you a flower."

"Well, I don't want it if it isn't sincere. Who's that one for?"

"...no one."

"Tell me or I'll keep complaining about not getting a gift."

"I can deal with that."

"Okay, then tell me or I'll make you sleep in my bed and I'll smother you to death with my affection."

"Ah, okay, fine. It's for Dream."

"Wow you really hate me that much!" Karl laughed.

"No, I'm just not touchy like you!" she defended. She always worried she offended Karl since he was so physically affectionate towards his friends but she just wasn't a physical person.

"Oh, speaking of Dream..." he turned and Y/n followed his characters line of sight, having to zoom in to see the green figure perched at the top of a tree.

"He's very menacing."

"He does that."

<Bugsy> come here pls dream <Bugsy> i have a gift :]

Dream ran towards Y/n and stopped in front of her expectedly. She looked at Karl then back at Dream and dropped the gift, backing up after and crouching.

His character picked it up and held it, pausing to read the name. After a moment, he slowly looked up at Y/n's character before jumping and spinning in circles. Y/n hid her smile in her sleeve even though no one could see her.

<Dream> wait lemme see the one I gave you <Bugsy> what D: <Dream> I wanna name it

"What is going on?" Karl giggled.

"Gift exchange. Mind your own business."

"Woah!" Karl gasped dramatically. "Uncalled for."

Dream came back and dropped the renamed flower for her. Y/n picked it up and hovered over it to read the name.

'host, dream'

She gasped and started punching his character. He backed up and ran away but joined the call seconds later.

"Wait! Stop hitting me!" Dream yelled into her headset.

Y/n laughed, trying to contain her smile as she continued to hit the green character. "Dream! Are you kidding? I tried being all cute and you hosted me?? In MINECRAFT??"

"It was a joke! You said something like that to Wilbur on Twitter a while ago, I was just using your humor!" Dream's giggles filled Y/n's headphones and she smiled but quickly dropped it so her voice could sound serious.

"Give it back."

Dream looked at her before letting out a small, "What?"

"Give me back the flower so I can go burn it with the other one."

"Bugsy!"

"What is going on?" Karl asked through a cackle. "Dream, did you hurt Bugsy??"

"Yes, Karl! He hurt my feelings! He gave me a flower and gave it back to name it something mean!"

Dream just laughed so Y/n punched him again.

"Dream! You can't hurt Bugsy!" Karl defended, also punching Dream.

All Y/n could hear was the sound of Dream wheezing, his character running as the two chased him. "Stop! You guys are so– STOP HITTING ME!"

"Fine," Y/n finally said, crouching and facing the ground as she walked into a corner to look like she was pouting. "I'm just not going to go on any Minecraft dates anymore."

"Wait, no," Dream protested in a soft voice, his character stopping to look at her's. "Take that back."

"Heart been broke so many times..."

"You're so stupid."

Karl gasped happily. "You guys have a Minecraft date? Can I help plan it?!"

"We did. In exchange for letting you give me the tour. But I've changed my mind since I've been so betrayed."

"Oh my gosh, you're so..." Dream trailed off but his wide smile could be heard through his voice.

"So what? Finish that sentence, Dream," Y/n dared teasingly.

"So... ANNOYING!"

"DREAM! SAY YOU'RE SORRY!" Karl yelled.

"Okay! I'm sorry! Bug, I'm so sorry. Really. Please let me... let me rename your flower something cute. It'll make you so happy that you'll fall in love with me all over again and–and we can go on our date. Please don't burn our flowers."

"And what if I don't give them to you?"

"I'll just kill you and pick them off your corpse."

"Woooooowwww. Okay, it's like that?"

"Yes, it is like that," he said through a smile. It was so apparent in his voice that he was grinning like a kid on Christmas morning.

<Ranboo> how is the tour going Bugsy was shot by Dream using DEFINITELY NOT PENIS <Ranboo> ah going well I see

Bugsy screamed in her mic as the death screen appeared. "DREAM!"

"You took too long!" He wheezed as Bugsy respawned.

"I don't know where I am!"

"Hold on, I'll avenge you!" Karl declared before he died too.

"You thought you could kill me with your fists? Karl, you're naked and I'm wearing full Netherite."

"You weren't when I started punching you! You pulled that out of thin air!"

<Ranboo> canon

Y/n smiled at Ranboo's comment. She had never talked to him but she knew he and Tubbo were close friends and he seemed really funny. He had already proved he had a dry sense of humor in the 30 minutes she was on the SMP and she loved that. Y/n made a mental note to befriend him before returning to being drama queen to Dream.

"So, Dream, now that you've made me an enemy–"

"WhAT? We are not enemies, Bug. I'm actually naming a flower something really cute as we speak. Enemies don't do that."

"Maybe I'm not your enemy but you sure are mine."

"Oh come on now," he mumbled lowly, running chills down her spine. What the hell was that?? "What do I have to do to make it up to you?"

"You-you murdered me in cold blood. Nothing will make it up."

"So I could get the flower! It was out of love! So I could give you a better present! Does that count for nothing?"

"Hm," she hummed. "We'll see what new name you come up with and then I'll decide."

Karl and Y/n got back to the chessboard and waited for Dream to return with his new flower.

Breaking character and turning towards her best friend, Y/n laughed at Karl. "Sorry for distracting from our BFF shenanigans time."

"This is way more entertaining," Karl assured. "Me and my chat got front row seats to the Dreamsy love saga."

"Shut up," she mumbled as she punched him in-game.

"OW! STOP PUNCHING ME SO MUCH!"

"Okay, okay, I'm back!!" Dream announced and they saw his figure sprinting and jumping towards them. He dropped the flower for Y/n and stepped back, crouching and standing repeatedly.

Y/n picked up the flower and hovered over it to read the name.

"Is it worthy of your forgiveness, Bugsy? Does it pass the vibe check?" Karl asked with a giggle.

Y/n bit her lip as she smiled at her screen.

to the prettiest girl in the world. love, dream <3

It was a joke, obviously. He was just continuing the joke of flirting with her like he does on Twitter just like Sapnap and Karl and George and Quackity do. They all joke about flirting with her and this was another joke.

But it still gave her tummy butterflies.

"Bug?" Dream called softly.

But why would he joke like that when neither of them were streaming? Karl's chat wouldn't see it so there was no one to point in feeding into the joke, unless he meant for Y/n to show Karl? She was overthinking. She needed to play it cool.

She also needed an enderchest so no one could find it and no one could take it away from her and destroy it but they didn’t need to know she liked it that much.

"Mmm.... it'll do."

**********

PREVIOUS | NEXT

**********

A/N: yeeee hope you guys liked this one! i think this is my favorite so far i just think dream was being too cute and i wanna be best friends with karl so much it hurts. we’re gonna get deeper into the dream relationship soon!! i just needed to indugle in bff karl content real quick!!!

taglist: open (at the time) @hydrate-tion @loraleiix @tinaswagbd @charsdummb @smileyyuta @1ghoste1 @cerberus-hellhound @gaysludge @queestionmark @carnations-red @letsloveimagines @the-fictionwriters-hairdo @boiled-onionrings @a-cryptic @fee-btheweeb @letsloveimagines @erwinss @just-a-stan @axths @kayleigh2703 @furiouspockettoad @sometimeseverythingsucks @powerpuffyn @itshaileyn @millavalntyne @automaticcomputerpaper @nikkineeky @fivedicksinatrenchcoat @sprucekot @bellomi-clarke @possiblyanxioushuman

#rpf #real person fiction #dream x reader #dream x y/n #dreamwastaken x reader #dreamwastaken x y/n #social media fic #dream smau #dreamwastaken smau #smau #mcty x reader #mcyt x y/n #mcyt fanfiction #dream fanfiction #dreamwastaken fanfiction

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shinesurge · 3 years

Text

I’ve been holding off on making this post because I wanted to try it out myself and get settled in and make sure everything went okay, but seeing as I’ve gone ahead and updated my site and everything I thought now might be a good time to start talking about this publicly!

If you’ve known me for more than five minutes you know I fucking hate Webtoon, like, a lot. Every aspect of it disgusts me to the core of my being, and while Webtoon is the ugliest version of them the aspects that I hate also extend to basically any comic aggregate site. I hate that they treat artists like content robots, I hate that they treat comic readers like morons who aren’t capable of engaging with complex stories, I hate that they actively try to strip away all the cool parts of indie comics by cultivating sterile and impersonal environments that discourage artistic experimentation and unique expression.

So! I hope you’ll be interested in what I have to say about this new platform that’s (hopefully) going to be out of alpha this summer. If you think you like reading comics on Webtoon, I really encourage you to check out Dillyhub once it launches. That’s the short version, but I have a LOT to say about this! So I’m putting the rest of this under a cut.

Full disclosure, I’m not getting paid or anything for this. The creative outreach at Dillyhub contacted me a few weeks ago asking if I’d be interested in having Kidd Commander be one of their launch titles when they go live this summer. I was hesitant at first, since I actively distrust anything claiming to be For Creators at this point, but they answered my pushy questions patiently and everything seemed on the up and up so I gave it a shot; I’ve been needing a mobile mirror for KC anyway. Eventually they invited me to the alpha creator discord, where they’ve been working directly with all of us artists to improve the platform, and now to be honest I’m REALLY excited for this thing to get off the ground. Nobody asked me to make this post, but since I’ve spent years whining and bitching about how other services do wrong by their creators, I thought I’d talk about this one that’s doing things right.

So, the biggest advantage this site has for creators over others in my opinion is that it. Treats us like individuals, regardless of follower count lmfao. If you’re a new person just starting out with your new webcomic, here’s what webtoon does for you:

Note: you don’t get a custom banner, you don’t even get to choose the solid color it is. That big circle icon is ALSO the image that shows up in searches, but everywhere else on the site it’s a 100x100px square, so you have to choose whether you want it to look good as a giant circle at the top of your comic’s page OR whether you want to look good in search results. Which, by the way, is the ONLY way for people to find you if you’re not partnered. And that’s it! You have no monetization options, you won’t show up on the genre pages, and when someone DOES stumble across your page it looks super unprofessional. Good Luck!

Now here’s my Dillyhub page(s):

You don’t get a static banner and one icon, you get a whole carousel banner with as many images as you want front and center as soon as you get to the project page. You get seven (custom!) genre tags, as opposed to Webtoon’s single tag you have to pick from their list, and plenty of room to talk about your work. The episodes are even laid out better, you get a MUCH bigger preview space to work with and they’re nice and big on the bottom half of the page:

you know, like they’re actually presenting ART lmfao.

That’s already an ENORMOUS improvement, but here’s my favorite thing.

o hm that’s a lot of super cushy settings I have for every individual episode, but what’s that, Episode Type?

LIKE.

listen, i know this is probably a bit specialized if you’re not a comic maker yourself, but this is a HUGE DEAL. You can post vertically OR page by page! You can even post pages two at a time for double page spreads, or so they read like a physical comic book! AND their specs are really open, as long as the file meets the size requirement you can make it whatever shape you want. You don’t have to reformat all your shit to post here!! I posted the entire first volume of KC STRAIGHT FROM THE PRINT FILES in like half an hour!!! The episodes can also be any amount of pages, you can post a single page or an entire chapter all in one go!

So that’s just the project page for the comic, let’s see what happens when I click on my username there.

Each author gets their own unique page (which you can tack a vanity url to!) to present themselves however they want! You always have the banner at the top, but beyond that you have a ton of options. Among other incredibly useful tools that really should just be bare fucking minimum at this point, like the ability to preview your page on different devices, you start customizing your blank page with this set of widgets,

and from THERE you can customize them MORE, you can promote your patreon or your kickstarter or whatever! Having this creator space ALSO means that if you run several comics, or if you want to promote your comic AND your illustrations, you can just separate them into individual projects! Each with their own page! This is also really nice as a reader because you can subscribe to a creator but you can also just subscribe to specific projects, if you don’t want to get ALL of their stuff in your inbox. It’s so good y’all hh.

Once again, all of this functionality is just THERE as soon as you make your account. You don’t need to be “partnered” or whatever the fuck, you don’t need to meet a certain follower threshold to unlock the ability to operate normally. You get your own creator space to present yourself how you prefer, you get pages for all your projects, you can even set up monetization options (and change them for individual pages IN a project) right from the start.

ok ok let’s compare this to my webtoon page

oh that’s right webtoon just puts your greyed out name at the bottom of each comic and that’s it because human beings don’t make this stuff, my bad lol anyway

Other fun shit that Dillyhub does that makes me feel like they’re people who have actually consumed or made comics on the internet at some point in their lives:

-When you log into the “studio” space, you’re in your creator account. When you log OUT of the studio space, it’s like you swap to a “reader” account, where you can access your pull list and comment on things with a different name and profile icon. Again, maybe only cool if you’re a creator, but if you ARE then you know exactly why this is incredibly useful lmao

-You can set up “hidden” projects, so if you only want certain things to be accessible by certain people or to not show up in searches that’s an option! You have SO much control here it’s great.

-The comment section has moderation options GODDD. You also have a real comment space, you know, so it actually encourages building a community (and a rapport with your community, if you like), and you also can just turn comments off entirely if you want! I haven’t used it much yet, obviously, but it’s been made very clear in the discord that artists want better control over their comment sections and the devs have it on their priority list.

-Absolutely every step of customization gives you a preview before it’s live, so you can easily see what these images you’re posting in different places are going to look like before you beam them to your followers’ inboxes. This includes individual episodes!

-This was sort of in one of the screenshots but it’s important so I’m saying it here too: the option to mark individual episodes as mature or with content warnings, rather than having to mark an entire comic as Mature Spooky Scary Content because of one or two pages getting a bit hairy.

This site is only in alpha right now, and it’s invite-only until they get to beta (for creators; anyone can make a reader account! but they haven’t set up a way to browse comics without direct links yet so) but honest to god it’s already blowing every other site I’ve used clean out of the water. And the staff has been really kind and responsive to us proposing fixes or changes! I will always defend individual websites as being the best option for an indie comic, but everybody’s gotta start somewhere and we NEED something that isn’t Tumblr or Webtoon to fill this role; this site feels a lot more like a symbiotic relationship than any of the other staples available for new creators right now. If you’re a comic reader and you want to see your favorite comics on Dillyhub I’d suggest keeping an eye on this site and once it’s live start poking them to look into it, and if you’re a creator follow their social media and hop in when they open up for anybody to join. I would LOVE to see this site take off as a viable option for hosting and reading comics.

Thanks for reading all this! I haven’t quite finished setting up yet, but if you want to poke around a project/creator page for yourself mine is here have at it. As things progress I’m sure I’ll have more to say, but since I’m usually so aggressively negative about places like this I just wanted to give some credit where it was due. fucking finally.

#long post #i want this site to obliterate webtoon so fucking bad lmfao

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xnchxntmxnt · 3 years

Note

Hi Spencer!! Ahhh I hope you’ve reached 200 by the time you get this! It’s been so amazing watching you grow and your works have brought lots of comfiness into my life 🥰 thank you so much for creating and writing and making one of the most aesthetic blogs I’ve ever seen (hehe love the constellation aesthetic) sending lots of positive vibes and appreciation your way 💕

For the matchup event (ahh it’s my first time ever doing one and I hope I didn’t put too much 😱) thank you in advance 💖

Name: eggu

Pronouns: she/her

Preferred partner: open to anyone

MBTI: INFJ

Horoscope: Aquarius

Aesthetic: light academia, soft, oversized sweaters, korean street wear, fandom merch, white and pastels, 4:00 am talks about life, stars and clouds

Some things about me:

I took piano, dance and martial arts lessons growing up and I still enjoy playing piano a lot

I enjoy playing video games on my spare time (I’m currently selling my soul to genshin impact)

I really love music of all genres but I’m currently really into kpop and khiphop (my favourite artists are seventeen and stray kids)

I really like naps and sleeping in general and prefer it over eating — I would say I have pretty low energy in general

I like desserts, pastries and dim sum

I recently got into watching art streams, journaling and collecting cute stationery

I’ve pretty much been a huge geek/fangirl all my life and have loved reading and animation since I can remember

I just finished watching jujutsu kaisen and am currently watching fruits basket (lol I enjoy both extreme shounen and fluffy shoujo)

I’m human and have lots of insecurities but I’m learning

Ideal traits in a partner:

Able to appreciate the quiet moments

I’m not a super physical person, but it would be nice to be physically close to someone I trust and that respects my boundaries

Trustworthy — didn’t have a great past relationship 😞

Isn’t afraid to keep up with banter and has witty remarks... someone that can keep me on my toes

Is driven in something they love

willing to learn and grow alongside me

@eggutartu

Thank you so so so much!! 💕💕💕 i worked really hard on the aesthetic so I’m glad you like it and I’m glad you like what I write! If you ever have ideas, don’t be afraid to share!

Anyway, onto the notes & matchup (I was really proud of this one 😁😁😁)

WHEN I TELL YOU I IMMEDIATELY HAD AN IDEA, I I M M E D I A T E L Y HAD AN IDEA. I was so proud of myself when i got this lol cause I saw your entry when I woke up, barely skimmed it, and said…

TSUKISHIMA KEI

✧ 𝐻𝑜𝑤 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑀𝑒𝑡 ✧

Okay okay hear me out

Hot topic (or something similar but I’m American so hot topic)

He was looking to get something for Yamaguchi’s birthday & maybe something for himself because don’t tell me Tsukishima Kei isn’t into anime I know he is

Probably shonen but still

Anyway

You were both reaching for the same thing (yes I’m using THAT trope)

Fortunately for you, there was more than one keychain but still

He was about to get low key defensive like “hey watch it” y’know like

Was in a v short mood

But the second he got the word “hey” out he turned to look at you and just

Froze

And got all embarrassed because look at this beautiful girl he’s standing net to shit he was just cursing you out in his brain

So he’s staring at you with wide eyes and you’re like “oh I’m sorry--you like JJK too? That’s cool”

And he’s stuttering Tsukishima Kei is flustered, everybody

So he’s like “uh yeah kinda I guess I don’t really talk about it a lot cause my friend isn’t into it”

“Well I mean if you ever wanna talk about it we can”

“Really?”

“Yeah, gimme your phone I’ll give you my number. If that’s chill”

“Sure, I guess, yeah”

Akiteru was home that day and hadn’t seen his brother smile this much since he was a kid

Any time he asked though Kei just got all huffy and went to his room

✧ 𝐺𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑙 𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠 ✧

U two make playlists for each other on a regular basis (Spotify playlists w collaboration turned on are your best friend)

They're always killer and hit a little too hard

When you tell him you have a new favorite song, he listens to it on repeat until he knows all the lyrics and can pick on you for saying the wrong lyrics if you ever do

Also because it reminds him of you

He loves that he can be himself around you

Really he does

Like that’s one of his favorite things

He doesn’t have to hide any of his hobbies or really anything about him really and he appreciates it so much

It took a while to get there with him, but once he trusted you 100%, he realized he was in love with you

Love and trust are the same things to him (or at least similar) so he knew he loved you when he realized he really could be himself with you around and probably told you as such

He’s not one to push your boundaries, but just had to tell you so it was probably a text like

“Look I don’t expect you to say this back if you’re not ready for that yet, but you’re so amazing--I need to be honest. I’ve done nothing but stare at the ceiling for an hour and think and just realized how in love with you I am. I really am. Take that as you will.”

And then just straight up DIDN’T ANSWER UNTIL 2 AM THAT NIGHT LIKE “sorry I was at Yamaguchi's” LIKE BRO JUST DROP A BOMB LIKE THAT DAMN

Needless to say, he WAS at Yamaguchi's and left his phone at home but it was because he was too afraid of what you’d say

He got home at 11

He just procrastinated for three hours until he finally answered you back

And when you told him you loved him too, his heart SOARED he proceeded to call yams and squeal like a seven-year-old girl for a half hour

If ur shorter than him he uses your head as an armrest, no exceptions

He does it if you're taller than him too he just goes up on his toes to do it

Anyway

Can and will pick on you for everything

It’s the way he shows his love alright

Cute stationery? It’s tacky and “why do you have this it’s irritatingly adorable”

“You’re irritatingly adorable”

“I’m not adorable”

“Yes you are Tsukki"

Lets you call him Tsukki until you can call him Kei

You have to have a thick skin with him because sometimes it’s hard to tell when he’s being sarcastic or not

If he ever did make you cry or genuinely upset though, he’d tear himself to pieces about it for hours and be completely unresponsive to his phone if you text him because he thinks you hate him

When he finally texts you back he’ll never admit how upset he is, but he will apologize for making you upset

It’s really hard to do emotions with this dude but you try to manage

If you can figure out how to make him talk about his problems “let’s talk about Akiteru” “no”? Yamaguchi will love you forever

You get the best friend approval anyway but you get an extra gold star if you can get him to open up more

Oh and you totally like to show up at games or practice and everyone including Ukai and Takeda love you for it because he tries a little harder so he doesn’t look bad in front of you

It’s like a switch he goes from like 5% to 70% effort but that’s the best he’s giving until it’s game time then he’ll crank it to 100%

✧ 𝐷𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝐼𝑑𝑒𝑎 ✧

Okay okay but but but but but

Anime dates

Like once a week you two sit and watch anime over discord or smth

You don’t usually talk much but it’s nice to be in each others’ presence

Or close to that

When you can get together it’s that much better

You trade off whose house you’re at every other week, and whoever's visiting picks up snacks on the way

You’ll watch tv, make fun of the characters together, roll your eyes at the sappy moments but lean over to kiss Tsukki anyway

It’s overall a very wholesome scene

But there will be times when he is stressed and tired for whatever reason and he’ll fall asleep

Sometimes he’ll be curled into a little ball on his side of the couch

Sometimes he’ll slouch his head against your shoulder with his arm around your waist

Sometimes he’ll pause the show and pull you down against him and just lay with you for a while

Not even watch tv just

Be happy in each others’ presence

He’ll fall asleep from time to time and you take his glasses off for him

He looks so soft when he’s sleeping and not glaring at people

✧ 𝑍𝑜𝑑𝑖𝑎𝑐 𝐼𝑛𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 ✧

Libras, while they may not exactly say it, are romantics. They enjoy little things about romance, however modern, like spontaneous dates and flowers. They initiate clever ideas and Aquariuses are good at adding a different perspective, so prepare for in-depth conversations. On the other hand, Aquariuses tend to be trendsetters, which Libras support wholeheartedly.

✧ 𝐴𝑒𝑠𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑐 ✧

✧ 𝑃𝑙𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 ✧

my boy - Billie Eilish

Hug - SEVENTEEN

King of the Clouds - Panic! At The Disco

She’s In The Rain - The Rose

I Can’t Handle Change - Roar

Runners up: Sugawara Koushi, Akaashi Keiji

#✔︎ — announcements #ꕥspenceranswers

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writerofshit · 4 years

Text

Secret Santa:X

(This is half headcanon, half fic, all fun times and emotions)

(Shoutout to the Penthouse discord server for help on some of the gifts, would have been lost without you)

The last Christmas they have in the penthouse, Ryan brings up Secret Santa again. It’s partly a joke, partly a nod to the nostalgia that’s been eating at all of them the last few months. He brings it up when they’re all gathered in the living room, watching Gavin try and prove his stealth abilities in Hitman.

(“Just because you can be stealthy in a video game doesn’t mean I’m letting you come with me.” Jack had said at the beginning of it all.

“If I get silent assassin you have to take me!”

“This is your fourth run through!”)

Anyhow, Ryan brings it up, all nonchalant. “Remember that year we did Secret Santa?”

“No?” Jeremy says honestly.

“Before your time.” Michael says with a smile, patting him on the head.

“It was fun. We should do it again.”

(”Goddamnit!” On screen, Gavin dies again.)

The next day they have a meeting of all the ‘movers and shakers’, as Geoff has taken to calling them. He announces that Secret Santa is yet again a thing, and no, Matt, you can’t get out of it. There’s no budget, because they all have access to more money than they know what to do with.

They throw eleven names in a hat and go from there. Geoff calls first pick because he’s an asshole like that, and his choice picks next, so on and so forth.

“Just get your shit done by Christmas, and we’ll do it then.”

Geoff pulls Gavin, and only panics a little.

The kid has everything he could ever want, what’s he really supposed to do? He considers what he might need, ends up crossing ‘bulletproof vest and a helmet’ off the list because it feels a little impersonal. He could do liquor of some sort, but he suspects there will be enough of that floating around on Christmas day.

He considers a camera, knows Gavin is into that kind of shit, but he’s lost a lot of knowledge in that department over the years. The only person who knows enough is Gavin himself, and that kind of defeats the point.

He ends up going for a new pair of gold shades, because the old ones are pretty worn out after six-plus years, and he’s almost positive Gavin has lost them. (Probably in Ryan’s room, but that’s neither here nor there) He gets a pair that have diamonds along the arms, and even though they’re ridiculously expensive he thinks it’s worth it.

Gavin adores them, has them on within 30 seconds of unwrapping them. He pokes himself in the eye, and that feels like a bonus to Geoff.

Gavin pulls Trevor, and while he plays it off at first “Oh, this will be easy, I got this person for sure!” he absolutely has no idea what to do.

There’s a weird bit of time where he tries to get to know Trevor better. He learns absolutely nothing new, despite following the guy for almost a week.

There’s a night he lays in bed with Ryan, bitching about this whole thing. “What the hell do I do? This was terrible for me last time, why would you suggest this?”

He ends up calling Barbara from the Roosters to try and figure out something, who promptly makes fun of him for not knowing anything about the guy he’s worked with for years. She does give one bit of new information, so he goes with it.

He gives Trevor tickets to the next Motocross event, because it’s apparently something he’s into. He throws in a NASA t-shirt as a joke, a nod to the world Trevor left behind.

Both items go over well, Trevor immediately pulling the shirt on over what he’s already wearing. He won’t shut up about Motocross for the rest of the day, either.

Trevor pulls Ryan, which he’s immediately terrified of.

He knows Ryan well enough to know that there won’t be any serious repercussions if he fucks it up, he won’t get gutted over a poor gift choice. But he also knows he’ll get that weird stare Ryan does when he’s pretending to consider whether or not to hurt someone. Plus he won’t live it down from the rest of the crew.

At first he goes to Gavin for help, because apparently nobody is taking the ‘secret’ part seriously. Gavin absolutely refuses to help him, mostly for the laughs. He knows Gavin’s getting a kick out of watching him squirm over this, which is so unfair. Then he asks Jack for help, who just shrugs.

“You’re a smart guy, Trevor, you’ll figure something out.”

He does, sort of. He gives Ryan a 24 pack of diet coke (because what else?) and an actually beautiful rainbow knife. It seems pretty heavy duty, and he knows its right up his alley. He also throws in some earplugs as a joke.

“So you can tune out Gav’s idiocy whenever you need.”

“Come on, Trevor. I’ve had years of practice at that. The knife is gorgeous though.”

Ryan pulls Alfredo, and he’s not too worried about it.

Alfredo’s their go-to sniper these days, and a new sniper rifle seems pretty obvious. Maybe a gift card to Ammunation or something? It does feel a little lackluster, even to him, so he brings it up to Gavin one night, while Gav is still debating t-shirts from Amazon.

“That’s a bit boring, isn’t it?”

“You’re buying a NASA shirt for an ex-aerospace engineer. I’m gonna need you to rethink your stance on this one.”

“Nah. You gotta do something better for Fredo, he deserves it.”

Which. alright, then what the fuck is he supposed to do? He gets his answer the next week when he sees Alfredo on a motorcycle for the first time.

“I’m going to teach you how to actually ride that thing.” Which is good, a chance to catch up and hang out. Bad, because Ryan’s method of teaching is ‘learn by doing’ and does in fact result in shouting.

Ryan still gives him the sniper rifle, which he is far more excited about.

Alfredo pulls Fiona, and it’s the first time he marginally regrets joining the crew.

He’s got no fucking idea what she’d like, what gift she’d appreciate and not hit him over. He tries to be casual about asking around, hoping someone might have better insight. The rest of the crew catches on immediately, and they flood him with false information.

“She loves chocolate. Favorite Halloween candy, in fact!” Michael tells him, but the grin he has says otherwise.

“She mentioned something about wanting to learn a new language.” Jack says seriously.

“Get her an English to French dictionary, she’ll love it.” Gavin tacks on.

“French, yep. She definitely wants to learn that one.”

Lindsay is the only one who actually helps him. “She’s been known to enjoy a drink or two.”

By sheer luck he happens to walk into one of the thousand arguments Fiona has with Michael over the whole ‘Halloween candy’ debacle, and he knows immediately that's a bad route to go down.

He ends up making a gift basket full of liquor mini’s and various candies. He makes sure not to include any chocolates, and throws some extra blowpops in, just to be safe.

Thankfully, she does appreciate the thought he put in, and she says she’ll only share with Alfredo since everyone else is an asshole.

Fiona pulls Lindsay, and it’s not hard to figure out what she’ll like.

She considers something chaotic, the two of them wreaking havoc on the city together. It makes sense. She also thinks about organizing a ‘girls day’, getting all the ladies of the crew together to go out and fuck some shit up. There’s a lot of logistics involved in that one, including convincing some of them to be out in the field like that.

It crosses her mind to bring Lindsay to a shelter to play with cats, because if there’s one thing Lindsay likes more than chaos, it’s cats. That’s also a bit of a logistical nightmare, not to mention the strength it would take to pry her away.

In the end she goes with cat merch. It’s a basket full of goodies, including a mug with a cat holding a bi-pride flag, a dress with various cartoon cats on it, and a cat necklace that has her birthstone as the body.

It’s beautiful, and Lindsay just about cries. She too, immediately changes into her new clothing, and she drinks everything out of the mug for at least a month.

Lindsay pulls Matt, and at first she panics.

She knows him fairly well, but like... He’s a real weirdo, what’s she supposed to do with that? She wonders what games he could use, if there’s anything he hasn’t bought himself.

Her confusion lasts until she mentions it to Michael. (Only after he let it slip who he’d picked.)

“Are you fucking kidding me? Matt’s the easiest goddamn one!”

“Bullshit! Name one thing you know about M.att B.ragg!”

“He eats like shit! Give him a box of donuts and he’ll lose his fuckin mind.”

Her response of “Oh my god.” is barely heard.

She spends a week trying out different recipes, much to Ryan’s delight. He’s happy to play taste-tester while she finds the perfect flavor combination.

She winds up going with a double chocolate espresso concoction. Matt is, of course, super stoked about his cupcakes, and damn near has to fight Ryan off to protect them.

Matt pulls Jeremy, which is pretty much a slam dunk.

Whiskey is the obvious choice, one he’ll absolutely go with, thank you very much. Who said taking the easy way out never got you anywhere?

And it would have, if it weren’t for Geoff.

There’s a debate that happens about a week before Christmas, something about the necessity of going to the liquor store. Michael and Jeremy are firmly pro-trip, and Geoff just wants them to “stay home and do some goddamn work. Besides, it’s not like half of you guys aren’t buying each other liquor anyway. In a week I’m sure we’ll be fully stocked.”

Which, alright. Fuck Matt then, huh? He’d genuinely thought it was a good idea, a mix of thoughtful and practical.

He decides to pair the whiskey with- well, it’s kind of a joke gift, but at least he won’t be accused of only buying liquor.

He commissions a customized cowboy hat. Half purple half orange, split right down the middle. There’s a neon yellow buckle on it, and it’s the ugliest thing Matt has ever seen in his life.

Jeremy loves it though, thinks it’s goddamn perfect. He wears it for the rest of the day, and for the next heist.

(Michael is less enthused.)

Jeremy pulls Michael, and that-

That’s harder than it should be.

He and Michael have been doing this... Whatever the fuck it is for over six months now, and they haven’t goddamn talked about. Not really. They’ve had moments,sure, here and there when they’re both drunk and thinking far too much about it. Reminding each other that they’re happy, that this is a good time, wouldn’t change it for the world-

But there’s still nights they sleep alone and they don’t talk about why. They still don’t really mention it to anyone else, even if they all know. Jeremy still doesn’t know how to answer when someone asks what the deal is with him and Michael.

So it’s hard, right, to come up with a relationship- appropriate gift. Too jokey and he’ll feel bad. Too serious isn’t their style at all. Plus like… how’s he supposed to do that in front of everybody? Just because they know there’s something there doesn’t mean they need to put on a show.

He settles on the obvious, nice bottle of tequila and a couple of shot glasses. It’s not exactly personal, but it’s good enough to show the room.

Later, in a quiet moment they can steal away, Jeremy offers to take him out the next night.

“We’ll do the bar thing, just you and me. My treat.”

“Oh yeah? You’re buying my drinks all night?” Michael asks him with a sly grin.

“I uh- I’ll get your drinks for as long as you’ll have me.” and it doesn’t come out exactly right, but they both know what he means by it.

Earns him a smile and a sweet kiss, and that alone is worth it.

Michael pulls Jack, and he runs through a few options.

He considers buying her furniture, because he knows she'll need it when they all finally do move out. But Jack has a good head on her shoulders and probably already has that shit on lock.

He looks into custom shelving, for all the knick knacks she's collected over the years. He could get it designed in colors she'd like and shell out extra for lighting and all that shit. But she doesn't have a new place yet, as far as he knows, so that's kind of a bust.

He could give her what amounts to a gift certificate, an offer to pay for whatever she wants made, but that seems kind of… Empty?

There's the age old alcohol gift, but that's been done before, and is probably being done by almost everyone else.

He mentions to Lindsay how weirdly difficult it is to buy something for Jack, get’s zero advice but somehow helps her figure out the whole Matt mystery.

In the end he decides to help her out and piss her off, a little bit of a win-win kinda thing. He buys her a couple of new shirts, bold and flowery and almost as bad as Jeremy’s Rimmy Tim shtick. He hates them but he knows she loves them, so it’s worth it.

He tells her it’s because her old shirts gotta be falling out of fashion, an opinion she is not happy about.

But it’s fine, because he also gets her tickets to fucking Disney World, of all places. He even offers to go with her, which she absolutely takes him up on.

It’s more fun than he expects, and it’s a really good chance to actually spend some time with her. He hadn’t realized it had been so long.

Jack pulls Geoff, which.

It’s no secret that Geoff is a sentimental bastard when it comes to the crew. It’s exactly why he’d spent months talking to her about the possibility of selling the penthouse, trying to figure out exactly how everyone would react, trying to figure out how he would react to not having them all so close anymore. She spent countless nights listening to him wonder what it meant that he wanted his own space.

Objectively, he was probably a bad person but his love and fierce loyalty to the crew made up for that, in some ways, right? So how can he kick them out, how can he do this to them, he’s being selfish-

And she had just explained to him that he had to do what was right for him. That it was understandable. That he was right, they could all use the opportunity to be a little more independent. She was looking forward to having her own space, and in time the rest of them would too.

So when she pulls Geoff’s name, she knows she’s gotta lean into that a bit. She could get him some books, some puzzles maybe. He’d mentioned off-hand that he missed having the space for them, because the kitchen table was always covered in some sort of crew shenanigans.

She does get him those, because she knows they’ll get some use.

But the big thing is the collage.

She’s had pictures of the crew on her phone for years, dating all the way back to her and Geoff in a shitty apartment. She’s got some of Ray, curled up on the couch with a DS in his hand. Gavin and Michael wrestling one drunken night. Ryan, nodded off on the couch after a heist, face paint still on and a complete mess. Jeremy trying to teach Matt something resembling self-defense. Lindsay cuddling a stray cat she had taken in. Trevor and Alfredo in matching clothes, playing up the ‘twin’ joke that had been going around. Fiona in that bright yellow suit, modeling for her Instagram.

There’s one she gets at the last minute, gets somebody from the support team to take right before their latest heist. It’s all eleven of them, full heist get-up, masks and obnoxious fashion choices and guns tucked here and there. They’re in the boardroom, running through it one more time before they take off, and in retrospect, it’s probably the last time they’ll do that in that room.

She sets that one in the middle, surrounded by all of these moments from the last 12 years.

“For your new place, when you find it.” Jack says.

It’s beautiful, and it makes Geoff cry. It brings some sniffles from a lot of them, even if they all deny it.

Leaving the penthouse isn’t the easiest thing for any of them, but it’s the right move. After all, they’re still a family.

#ks writes #fahc #fahc headcanon #ragehappy #christmas in july yall #i honestly love this a lot and hope yall do too #jeremichael #tagging those boys for Reasons

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unravelling-the-world · 3 years

Text

random thoughts related to kagepro (tw for depression?? death?? suicide ?? implied ?? im not sure and idk what else read at ur own risk)

well idk lately ive been thinking a lot and ik ive uh always (? since i can remember?) have been depressed (i mean...it started around age 12...i dont really remember much before that. most of what i remember are bad moments anyways. or very specific scenes. but they dont feel mine. if that makes sense. its like remembering the scene from a movie. back on track i guess idk well lately ive realized i actually kin some characters and lately ive...been relating a lot to shintaro kisaragi fromkagepro. i mean its ok. there´s always been that specific similarity in us (after all, how many characters in anime are as related to coca cola as shintaro //and me,,im literally a coca cola addict lmao// well anyways. after some days, this lead me to thinking...to a hidden memory within my brain, i guess. I remember introducing my then best friends, to kagepro. one told me haha he´s like u bc the coca cola!! and i think i just laughed and smiled? i truly didn´t see it? i was sad sure, but i couldnt really relate to him. after all, i was the leader of my own little group of 12 year old weebs,right? (i was also 12 btw) i didnt personally dislike shintaro but i didnt rly see myself in him yknow? also i have loved ayano from ever since i have memory so idk like she´s one of my biggest comfort characters and its weird bc if she was ´´real´´ idk if i could date her or anything but im just glad she exists bc it somehow comforts me a lot yeah anyways ayano essay for another time lol. anyways at this age my favorite characters in kagepro were ayano and konoha ( i still love them a lot) thing is, at this point in my life i didnt know/wasnt aware i was transgender but i already kinda liked he/him pronouns so i roleplayed a lot. online. i roleplayed as konoha obviously lmao and actually one of my irl friends related to shintaro ?? and i think we may have roleplayed lmao and stuff.... she even had a facebook account named shin hikkikomori or smth like that. anyways fast forward bc after being 12 a lot of stuff happened obviously. and none of that relates to kagepro until quite some time. i will mention some items that dont really relate to kagepro but marked moments in my friend group that may be relevant later on. Around 2016)? Some of my closest friends changed schools (but we kept contact) yet i still had a big group at school. But it got fragmented along the way. 2017 i went to Japan and formed a new, different friend group with people that even today, are dear to me. When i came back, my friend group fragmented more. I kept contact with other members of the old group but one on one, not as a group anymore. 2018 we graduated, and i broke up my realtionship with one of my former best friends (2016-2018) 2019 was a year of change, and even though i was afraid and shit got weird, i was not doing too bad. i will skip that. Well. Im sure we all know 2020 was a trainwreck, shit happened. i had a villain arc. I lost my shit,definetely. Ups, downs, whatever. 2021 has not been too different. However, even through everything, in early 2020, i kept close relationships with my friend group. as the year moved forward and the restrictions started lifting ( thank you government very cool <3 //ironically obviously, this is the reason this shit wont go away//) some of my friends saw each other irl and stuff, or talked about stuff i didn´t understand/didn´t want to hear while on discord. I felt alienated. I felt empty. I got mad at a friend for the first time, for something he said. I ended up isolating myself. A friend celebrated her birthday. She invited me and never excluded me, asked me a lot of things and asked to virtually include me. But that would just make me feel more alienated, wouldn´t it? I told her it was ok, i didn´t go. Honestly, I felt like a bother. I didn´t want to bother. I wasn´t okay, but i didn´t want to bother anyone, so i isolated myself. I had a very bad breakdown. lasted weeks. When I recovered, it wasn´t the same. It felt like everyone else was closer, while i drifted away. I kind of recconected with some of my friends from Japan after this. In the vacations, i felt like i reconnected with some friends just to drift away again later. However, i never could reconnect with one of my best friends. She never really got mad at me or anything ( i think) but we don´t really talk much anymore. We used to talk daily, be it actual talking, memes, anything. I don´t think we´ve actually talked in weeks. There´s nothing I can do. This year, another friend had a birthday, but I was so disconnected from everyone I didn´t even care. I mean. It´s all broken now, isn´t it? The other day I just started wondering. When did I start relating to Shintaro so much? I had always been like this, hadn´t I? Who am I, actually? Why do I relate so much now? It´s not just about the soda. I had lost friends before, but I never really felt like that. Sometimes I feel like I´ve lost everyone. In a one year span I became a hikkikomori. About a month ago, when I entered classes, I was recognized as Shintaro pfp and I admitted to kinning him to people i´d never talked to before (on chat) // I decided to go apeshit idc anymore about what anyone thinks of me// I had fun. I think I must´ve posted on my stories, because two different people told me they were the ene to my shintaro. I appreciated it. i mean it´s kinda true bc now that i´m only on the pc they do bother me online and try to get me to open up or get better but sometimes the just annoy me lmao but also not bc they all have their own particular lives and they all seem to be doing better than me. Still, my classmates are very nice and inclusive. But it´s not like im close to any of them I guess. I´m just alone now. I´m fucked up man....I don´t feel real anymore. I don´t really know who I am. I guess that´s why I find comfort in seeing a part of myself in Shintaro? But when did i turn out like this? Why didn´t I relate when I was younger? Well, I hadn´t really lost any friends back then. I now know how painful that is. How lonely it is to be alone even when there is people around. idk. and i´ve always been quiet. introverted. shy. a loser. yet now whenever i meet anyone i try to idk connect? but i cant. i wish i could be more evil. maybe it´d just be easier if everyone really, truly hated me. maybe i´d get the strength to actually kill myself then. it´s weird. i really see myself in route xx shintaro. I know that´s fucked up because I know how it ends. but truly, i was trying. I was healing, i think i was going somewhere. and i was trying to keep my newly formed renovated friend group together. I really was trying to. I didn´t mind if we had sub groups on the big group, but we were all there for each other. I tried my best. I felt like i belonged. but now im alone again. and this time there´s nothing i can do. if something, i´ve made it worse. and i keep making it worse. it´s weird. when i first got into kagepro, both shintaro and ayano felt like adults. i thought they were really, really big. im older than them now. now i know theyre not really adults. i get it. i still feel 18. after all, these last two years have been taken away from me. i didnt waste them myself this time. i feel like a rotten 18 year old...when i listen to lost time memory, i just...get it. i always liked the song. i thought the story was so cool. when it first came out.. i still remember. iwas there. i waited for it. i loved it. i still do, but back then, i just saw it all as some really great and cool song. now i feel like i really, really get it. i love it even more. im hiding away in all my memories. but what is my true heart? what do i really want? i don´t know, i don´t know... If I'm 'wise' then, I can't face forward; I have no reason to so, I'll rot away instead It would be nice if time could be turned back. Years may pass but I'll never die I repeat hopeful words to myself, even though I know I still won't be able to reach you. "It doesn't matter, just die already!" I said as I clutched my wrist, simply cursing it. Unable to do anything, I merely indulged myself in life. "If summer can show me dreams, then let's go to before you were taken away" The days where I hid my embarrassment are illuminating upon the atmosphere and burning my mind. If I'm wishing for a dream that can't come true, then I'll embrace this blurry past and have a dream which I don't wake up from and naturally seclude myself from the outside world. "But that means you can't even see tomorrow?" I don't really care 'bout that, so it's ok I stained my hands in order to kill these boring days I'm choosing "solitude" after all A rotten boy at 18 today too, prayed again while clinging on to your colored smile Underneath the blazing sun Asking "Somehow, please take me away instead of leaving like this!" and my murmuring breath was quietly stopped

I guess i just wish someone could actually help me. take me out of this hole. Maybe some kind of closure would be nice. It´s not the same, though. I don´t have enough bravery in myself to actually kill myself. Mostly because of guilt. I can´t take the guilt of dissapointing everyone. I don´t want my parents to get hurt. I don´t want my bunny to miss me. Yet i wish everyday for it to be over. Lately, half of my dreams have been in Japan, with many friends, some who i met there, some who have never been there. Yet my brain shows me the dreams before it was all taken away. I think one of my favorite parts of the day is dreaming. I like to sleep simply because I dream. And i sleep very few. mayb bc i hate myself? I still barely indulge in life. I do anything to stay distracted. If i think, it all goes to shit. it all does. like now. Heh. it´s funny. I guess no one is truly my ene, because no one actually knows how mentally fucked up i got these past months. No one knows how badly i´ve been treating myself and how badly i´ve been doing. Still, i can´t tell anyone but scream it into the tumblr void. No one has to keep up with my shit. No one has to take care of me. After all, it was I who chose solitude. It was me who kept them away. But I don´t get a second choice. I don´t get a change of routes if things go sour. And i guess I don´t get to get a mentally fucked up friend group where I belong for a second time. Once was good enough, wasn´t it? I.. Even when I wasnt as deep as i am now (again) into kagepro, ive always wanted to die on August 15. It holds meaning to me now as well. Every year I used to ask people to go out with me that day. I know im not brave enough to kill myself. I always hoped for a lil miracle i guess. Last year was the first year...I didn´t do anything. I just... I just hope this year i can make it. I hope the miracle happens this year....I can only hope......its too late for me to be saved, isn´t it? I never thought it´d be like this. I don´t get closure. I don´t get goodbyes. I am left behind on a world that keeps moving. I am nothing.

#long post #hinatalks #we live in a society #fr fr #when i die....if god is real..i´ll end this once and for all. all of it #i am left with nothing but pain and anger.... i cant even feel anymore. i think i forgot how to

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davieslandon · 4 years

Text

Explanation || Landon & Roman

Discord thread featuring: @romanbeckett & Landon

When: September 6th

Mentions: @angelospctr @aaronhart93 @malakhai-ozera @lorencourtier

Description: Landon and Roman meet up after the party to talk things out and explain

Trigger Warnings: talk of drug use and feels

Roman.

Did Ro really feel up to this conversation? No. He had a lot he was going to have to get off his chest, including the fact that he’d relapsed at the party as well. Maybe he should just REALLY stop going to events. They never went in his favor. When he spotted Landon, Ro slumped over to take a seat across from him, shrugging off his jacket as he did so, and barely making eye contact.

LANDON

Landon was not looking forward to this conversation at all, not only because of what happened at the party but also because of what Khai told him this morning. He couldn’t help but feel like he was to blame for Roman’s relapse. If he hadn’t been so drunk and gone after him when he saw him and Khai, maybe that wouldn’t have happened. It hurt that Roman was barely even looking at him but he could understand why. “Hey”, he said, trying to smile and sound cheerful. “I got you a coffee, hope that’s okay.”

Roman.

“Thank you.” At least Landon was sounding positive. For whatever reason, Roman had been worried that maybe Landon would be upset that Ro was even effected by this. Odd way of thinking, but he couldn’t help it. “Coffee is perfect.” He reached for the cup, taking off the lid so that he could help the steam to escape faster. He really needed the caffeine. “So.” Roman took in a deep breath, and then finally looked up at the smaller. “Fun party?”

LANDON

Landon winced at the mention of the party but tried to keep the smile on his face. “About the party...I’m really sorry you had to see that. We were both drunk and didn’t even think about the fact that anyone could walk in so...yeah. I’m sorry.” Knowing that Ronan had walked in on him and Khai kissing wasn’t a proud moment. “I wanted to come after you so we could talk but I was wasted and wouldn’t have made much sense and...I didn’t really think you wanted to talk to me right then.”

Roman.

Roman just looked down and cleared his throat, wanting to believe that was why landon didn’t come after him. “It wasn’t because you fucked?” He asked half heartedly before picking up his coffee to blow on it, and then take a sip. He winced, not because of the temperature, but because maybe that had sounded a little harsh. “Sorry. It’s not like I’m on the best of books either. I ehm...relapsed last night.” He admitted, having no idea of course that Khai had ratted him out.

LANDON

Landon took a sip of his own coffee, trying to buy himself some time. Him and Khai did end up hooking up but that’s not why he didn’t go after Roman. When he realised his ex was right there he seemed in such a rush to get away that he couldn’t imagine him wanting to talk. And with so much tequila in his system, it wasn’t the right time to be having such a conversation. “No, that’s not why.” Would running after him have changed anything? Landon would never know. He didn’t have to worry about acting surprised because hearing it from Roman in person still managed to shock him. Maybe because he was still hoping it was some sort of misunderstanding. “Why?” he asked, pain clear in his eyes.

Roman.

Roman just shook his head when Landon asked why, looking down at his coffee, trying not to cry. Fuck. Landon always got to him, always, even when he was trying so fucking hard to put up a front. He couldn’t do that with someone who knew him so well. This was something that was hurting Landon, the decision hadn’t just hurt Ro. It hurt a lot of people. “I jus’ couldn’t stand it anymore. I’ve been struggling for weeks, and -“ he paused, not sure if he should drag Angelo into this or not. “Angelo. He’s kind of like...my unofficial therapist. Anyway, he offered it to me, and said it was okay in moderation, that he’d make sure I didn’t do more than I should.” It sounded so dumb saying it outloud, but he hadn’t been thinking clearly.

LANDON

Did they really drift apart so much that Landon didn’t even know he had some sort of unofficial therapist? He didn’t know this Angelo guy but whoever he was, he better start sleeping with one eye open from now. What sort of therapist gives someone drugs and says it’s okay in moderation? He could tell Roman was upset and didn’t want to make things worse but he couldn’t just say it was okay because...it wasn’t. “Who is this guy? Love I know you’re going through a lot but you know that what he said...no therapist in their right mind would say that.”

Roman.

Roman started crying the second Landon called him love, and said what followed. He was so fucking stupid. He’d wanted a bump so bad, that he let everything he’d worked so hard for come crashing down around his ears. All that time sober, pointless, and now what? “I know.” He said in a shaky breath, bringing a hand up to wipe at his eyes. Fuck. He hated crying, especially in public. “He works at Tee’s office, he jus’...I dunno. Says all the right things, and it sounded so good, and for a second, it took the pain away.”

LANDON

Shit. Landon quickly got out of his seat and moved to the one across from him, wrapping an arm around Roman. “Hey, hey, it’s going to be okay.” Any other time, Landon would be able to say that with absolute certainty and not lie but now he wasn’t so sure. What if one hit led to more? He didn’t want to see Roman go through a downward spiral, especially not when he had been doing so well. “You should report this guy. What he did...it’s wrong.” Landon wasn’t an expert on this but he was pretty sure that whatever this Angelo guy did wasn’t ethical, especially if he was working as an actual therapist in an office. That would have to come later. Right now, all he cared about was making sure Roman was okay, or as okay as he could be considering the situation. “I’m sorry. I...I know I hurt you yesterday and I’m so, so sorry.”

Roman.

Ro shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut as the tears just flowed. They stung, and Landon’s arm around him was making him even more emotional. His best friend. His other half from the time he was five years old. He was there for Roman when he literally had no one, and he was here for him now? How could he be upset with someone like that. “Don’t be sorry. I’m sorry.” Ro shook his head, and turned to look at the smaller. “You’re jus’ trying to move on with your life, and I’m doing...I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.”

LANDON

Sometimes it felt to Landon like they couldn’t do anything right. Something always had to go wrong and then the other would be there to pick up the pieces. So when Roman said that he couldn’t stop from chuckling humourlessly. “I really don’t think that’s what I’m doing here but thanks for the vote of confidence.” What Roman saw as him trying to move on with his life sometimes felt like driving with a blindfold on and hoping he made it okay. “Babe, I think we both have absolutely no idea what the hell we’re doing.”

Roman.

Roman did manage a soft snort when Landon said neither one of them had any idea what they were doing. Made sense. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He sniffed, and then leaned his head on the smaller’s shoulder. “I jus’ feel like such an asshole. Aaron just got back from rehab, and I fucking relapse.” He closed his eyes, and took in a deep breath.

LANDON

Landon still wasn’t sure when the two had even gotten back together but he figured Roman wouldn’t be talking about Aaron like that if things weren’t better between them. “This isn’t...ideal but it does happen. Relapses happen Ro and it sucks but you’re going to get through it, okay? And you have people who love you and who will help you”, he reassured. “Does Aaron know about this?”

Roman.

Ro licked his lips, and then sighed when Landon said relapses happened. He knew technically that was true, but he didn’t wanna think about that. “Yeah, he walked in on me actually.” He let out a humorless chuckle, and then pulled away so he could distract himself with some more caffeine.

LANDON

Landon frowned, watching Ronan drink his coffee with obvious worry. That didn’t sound too good, he just hoped Aaron didn’t react too badly. Oh and gave this ‘therapist’ what was coming to him. “And how did that go?” Landon felt like he was walking a minefield, unsure of what was okay to ask and what wasn’t.

Roman.

“Not good obviously. I think Aaron was two seconds from punching the guy out.” He admitted while reaching to rub at the back of his neck. Roman’s eyes slowly flicked up to look at landon, clearing his throat before he decided to chew on his thumbnail. “I’m sure everyone’s upset with me, but I jus’ - I’ll bounce back.”

LANDON

"I don't blame him, he deserves a lot worse than that." Landon made a mental note to text Aaron at some point and ask what he knew about this 'therapist' and if he was going to be a problem again. "I don't think people are upset with you, more with the situation. I know that if this Angelo guy was in front of me right now I'd be trying to punch him as well for what he did to you. But I'm not upset with you." He just wished it hadn't happened, that's all. And that he wasn't partly to blame.

Roman.

Ro looked down when Landon explained his thoughts, feeling relieved that he wasn’t mad at him, but at the same time, it felt like he was yet again getting away with something he shouldn’t be. Was Ro always the victim? Did it come off that way? He didn’t want to be that person, even if it was convenient. “What Angelo did was wrong, but so was going along with it. I’m not stupid, I knew better. Yeah, he was convincing, and his words fit my agenda, I think I just subconsciously enjoyed having an excuse.” Ro replied in an almost hurt tone, his eyes closing before he was running his hands over his face. “Sometimes I wonder if I’m actually a good person, or if I’m jus’ pretending to be.”

LANDON

It sucked to hear Roman confirm what he had been suspecting. Angelo was definitely an asshole and he wouldn't forget what he did any time soon but Roman wasn't stupid. Taking drugs because it was okay in moderation...it was a bullshit excuse. So while it hurt to know that Roman knew what he was doing and did it anyways, there was also a sense of relief at the knowledge that the other was aware the whole moderation shit was untrue. "You are a good person. I guess sometimes you can....lose sight of the bigger picture? But we're only human, that happens."

Roman.

Roman just nodded, looking at his hands in his lap while picking at his nail polish. God, he hated when he did that, but it was a nervous habit that wasn’t going to die any time soon. “Yeah.” He sniffed, and then took in a deep breath as he pulled his eyes back up to his ex. It was so surreal, sitting here, looking at landon right now, unable to stop a flashback from hitting him like a ton of bricks. He’d sat at many a table with the man, had many a serious talk. He’d never get over this face. The expression that showed Landon loved Roman, and would make excuses for him until the day they died. His protector. “Thank you, Lan. You’ve always been here for me from the first fucking second I met you, and I...” he let out a shaky breath, his eyes getting a bit watery despite how badly he wanted to prevent it. “I turned out to be such a fucking mess.”

LANDON

Landon hated hearing Roman talk about himself so negatively. After all, weren’t they all a bit of a mess? And yet he still stuck by his side throughout everything, never giving up on him even when others did. How could he ever call Roman a mess when the other dropped everything in order to take care of him after his accident? Landon doubted he would have gotten through out without him by his side. “Stop that, it’s not true. You’ve always been there for me as well and I owe you so much. I could never think of you as a mess”, he argued. “You know I’m always going to love you right?”

Roman.

Roman’s gaze lifted up immediately when Landon posed his question, a single tear falling down the actor’s face, because that...that was a question that sat on him like lead. Did he know that? Yeah. Did Landon know that Roman would always love him in return? Probably. They both knew that, but in moments like these, it just was nice to hear it. “Yeah. I’m always going to love you, too.” He nodded, and then wiped at his eyes. “Fuck you for making me cry though.” Ro chuckled.

LANDON

After everything they’d been through, Landon knew they were stuck together for life and he couldn’t be more grateful. He just loved him so much and that was never going to change, no matter what sort of relationship they had. Even if all they’d be was best friends, they still loved each other. “I would apologise but I’m not sorry”, he teased. Landon hated to ruin the mood when it finally seemed to be getting a little lighter but there was another thing they rested to talk about. “Listen, about Khai...there’s nothing there. We’re actually taking a bit of a break from each other.”

Roman.

Roman snorted softly through the tears when Landon said he wasn’t sorry, turning to look away only for a moment until the smaller mentioned Khai. That got his attention back really quickly. He wanted to laugh at Landon saying there was nothing there, because he wasn’t stupid, and he wished the other male wouldn’t pretend. “Landon.” He started, rubbing a hand over his face with a sigh. “You like him, and you had sex, yeah? Why push it away now?”

LANDON

Landon wasn’t ecstatic about telling Roman he and Khai had sex but there was no point denying it so he just shrugged. “Because I don’t want to hurt you.” It all game back to his need not to hurt Roman because he felt like he’d done that enough already. “I know you were hurt when you...when you saw us together and I don’t want to do that anymore.”

Roman.

“Landon.” Ro leveled a gaze with his ex, showing he meant business, tears now at a standstill, thank god. “Listen to me, because I really don’t wanna say this again. You have no obligation to keep yourself away from anyone romantically because of me. We both know that.” He pressed his lips together. “You like Khai, Khai likes you. You’re both miserable trying to stay apart, so jus’...do it.” He looked away, and tensed his jaw.

LANDON

“That’s not what I was doing.” He kind of was but he wasn’t staying away from everyone because of Roman. He dated Loren, even considered giving it another try with Harry. But Khai was different. “Khai’s not just anyone, he’s your ex and I don’t...if someone I’m close with dated my ex I’d probably be upset.” He was when it happened. “And I don’t want you to be upset with me, okay? Is that so wrong?”

Roman.

Roman just shook his head, because...well, the elephant in the room was blaring. Roman had done this to landon - granted, he didn’t know who Aaron was until it was too late, but still. Ro didn’t have a leg to stand on. He reached across the table to grab his best friend’s hand, because that’s who he was talking to right now. His best friend, his oldest mate. His first everything. This wasn’t about their past relationship anymore, it was about Landon, and doing what was best for him. “I won’t be upset with you. Do I enjoy it? No. But I’m not upset with you. Landon, all I want is for you to be happy. That’s it. Okay? If you want to be with Khai...” he took short breath, and a pause. “You have my blessing.”

LANDON

For two best friends they surely loved giving each other their blessings. The irony of it wasn’t lost on Landon although he wasn’t stupid enough to bring it up right now. “And you’re sure?” Because he did like Khai, he really did. He wouldn’t have slept with him if he didn’t, even though he was drunk. But if Roman told him he wasn’t okay with it then he wouldn’t do anything because he didn’t want to lose his best friend over this.

Roman.

this was killing Roman, but he’d never let landon know that, not in a million years. He simply nodded, and squeezed his hand for reassurance. “I’m sure.” Lie. He gave the smaller a tight lipped grin, thinking he must have just earned his angel wings because FUCK. “You deserve to have what you want, Landon, and I’ll be here regardless. Always.”

LANDON

Landon wasn’t sure whether to really trust him or not. He knew first hand what this felt like and he said the same when he gave Roman and Aaron his blessing, even though he didn’t really mean it. He didn’t want to push him though so if he said he was sure then Landon was just going to have to believe him. “I...thank you Ro. This really means a lot.”

Roman.

so, this was it. Roman just gave permission for something he was most definitely NOT okay with, but he loved landon, and he loved Khai, and if this was what they wanted, then he didn’t want to be the one standing in the way. “No need to thank me.” He ran his thumb over the other male’s knuckles, and then pulled away to distract himself with his coffee. Well. That’s it, he did his good deed for the day, and now, he honestly was ready to high tail it out of here.

LANDON

Landon wasn’t even sure how to feel. He was grateful to Roman for giving him and Khai a chance even though he still wasn’t sure how that was going to work out but once again it almost felt like the end of something for them. Just like when he said the same for Roman and Aaron, or when they texted about the past. Something about this seemed final. This still didn’t help him figure out things with Khai but at least he knew Roman wouldn’t hate him if something did happen. He took a sip of his own coffee, unsure of what else he could even say.

#discord #thread #explanation #c: roman #m: khai #m: angelo #m: aaron #m: loren

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luminousbeansarewe · 4 years

Text

here's a story from the past few days when i could barely get out of bedor engage with anything except discord:

some very close friends and i started a star wars RP server. it's closed as per our agreement, so please do not ask to join it. it's like friends playing the tabletop SW game but via writing (yes i am the DM like the mega-nerd i am), plus they can write their own side scenes just for shits and giggles and i duck in with my OCs on some of them.

so here's what happened

server is created

we agree on the basic guidelines n junk

we all start posting our OC profiles

two friends write a short experimental scene with their enemies-to-lovers lesbian jedi/inquisitor OCs where one literally blows the other's ship up and bounces

that's the first ever scene

second scene is open, anyone can join, clone wars era. my friend says it's "bar RP" (bar RP is usually slice of life, kinda boring, where characters have conversations or meet each other or whatever)

she starts the scene with a knock-down drag-out fight with her OC Athae and a Deveronian in a private fighting ring inside a Hutt palace in Mos Shuuta

jacked up on pixie, her OC barely wins and escapes and the Hutt sends all his goons after her for embarassing him

she decides fuck it, before i die bc i have no weapons im gonna get a drink

walks into the cantina and orders a drink knowing a shitload of thugs is about to roll in after her

this is how they decided to start the bar RP y'all

so my girl Sol was at the ring at the start of the fight, sees Athae walk into the cantina covered in black blood, and pays for the drink bc she's like "nice"

don't ask what clandestine shit Sol was up to okay that's not the point

another OC, a 7 foot tall Zabrak woman named Nawras who has just defected from the Jedi Order and is super Angy, nearly runs into another OC, Remi, who is trying to weasel the local cop into getting their ship out of the impound yard

goons start rolling in from the back

Sol tosses one of her DC-15s to Athae and they start blastin

Nawras barely misses killing Remi as she reacts on pure overwhelmed instinct by whipping out her saber and cutting someone in half

all this is going on during a raging sandstorm outside by the way

so the back exit is full of goons and a giant morally gray and pissed off Zabrak ex-Jedi is blocking the front entrance and the patrons are all freaking the fuck out

Sol is like... welp

this whole cantina is about to turn into a meat grinder

time to blow a hole in the skylight with my bowcaster, let the sandstorm in to flush everyone out of there (she has a helmet of course so what does the sand do but help her anyway), and jet pack myself onto the roof

yes she has a jetpack it's SOL ffs

this works, a bunch of people including Nawras come spilling out front

Sol tosses a thermal detonator into the back to blow up any remaining Hutt henchmen bc of course she does

meanwhile Remi, their loth-cat who has stolen the keys to the impound yard from the dead body of the cop, and a young girl who is another OC named Fianna have all escaped

meanwhile meanwhile, our Jawa OC whose name is Wyen (get it? i'll wait...) has decided that Remi's ship is interesting and he's going to climb onto it and start fucking around with it and fixing it and taking the space brake lock off of it...

Wyen is pure chaos like he literally homebrews space 4loko

Remi decides it's too late for them to kick Wyen off the ship, boots it up to get the fuck out of there

FIANNA HAS SNUCK ONTO THE SHIP because she followed them out of the cantina, and apparently she is some type of slave girl who is using this is her chance to get the fuck off Tatooine. but this is all new to her and as the ship takes off she actually faints

back at the cantina, Athae is luring the Hutt cronies out into the sandstorm so Sol can pop them off one by one

Sol agrees to take Athae off planet and they head back to her ship and the rest of Cronos Squad who are waiting... because Nawras STOLE A JEDI FIGHTER WHEN SHE BOUNCED and CRONOS IS THERE TO TAKE IT BACK

they try to explain to the Big Angry Nawras that they are not going to kill her, they are just there for the ship

Nawras is too flustered and pissed to listen and tries to go for Grip

luckily Swift is a sniper so he pops her behind the knee from his sniping position

bc my boys are fucking professionals

she's big tho, so she stumbles and grabs Grip and tries to beat him up bare handed just in time for Sol to arrive and put a shot from the bowcaster into her shoulder

because if you fuck with Cronos squad, Sol will literally kill you

but she went for the shoulder bc she's trying to follow orders

Nawras is like, not doing too hot at the time so she's like FINE KILL ME AND MAKE IT QUICK THE JEDI STOLE ENOUGH FROM ME ANYWAY

Sol's inner Mando is like... this can't be honorable to kill someone who's defenseless and asking for it no matter how tough they're acting

and all this for a fucking starfighter? no, this is stupid

"if the Jedi hadn't stolen it, someone else would have. we have all been stolen from, yet we survive. keep the fucking ship. it's not worth any of our lives."

boom. everyone bounces.

THIS IS THE SECOND SCENE EVER ON THIS SERVER IT IS PURE MADNESS

REMI IS ABOUT TO FIND A PASSED OUT GIRL ON THEIR SHIP WITH THEIR NEW INVOLUNTARY CHAOS JAWA CO-PILOT

and Cronos is probably gonna drop Athae off on Coruscant, and they will then go hang out at a pawn shop

Twofer is gonna meet a big terrifying bounty hunter IG unit OC named IG-626 and they're going to become best friends because they're both weapons nerds we have decided

I REPEAT, TWOFER IS GONNA BE FRIENDS WITH AN IG UNIT BOUNTY HUNTER NAMED AFTER STITCH FROM LILO AND STITCH

oh yeah and then

after all THAT bullshit got started

all the players who made jedis, whether they eventually fall or not, decided to write a scene In The Past where all of their jedi OCs are being babies at the temple together

literally almost killing each other in one scene while writing their OCs as actual babies in the other scene

one of the jedi babies almost ate a giant beetle but the other ones got sad so they didn't eat it. a Lurman Jedi OC named Tammeth made them spit it out.

the beetle's name is Scooter, and he has his own NPC page now

yep

this is what's happening

none of this is the official plot by the way . this is literally all sides scenes

#RP server shenanigans #star wars #i can't believe this is happening #this is why i love my friends

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stakehammer · 4 years

Text

endgame

previously: no light, no light | martyr | resurrection

JIM WALTON WILL HAVE BEEN ARRESTED BY THE TIME YOU WAKE.

Well, that’s not a message you ever foresaw the horrorterrors beaming into your mind while you slept. But you never were great at foreseeing anything. You knew things that were going on in the present, sometimes in the past, but not in the future. You don’t have that kind of power.

WE WILL RESTORE YOUR POWERS TONIGHT.

“Already?” you say, in your dream. You know you don’t say it out loud. You’ve done tests, recorded yourself at night. This is all in your head. “All I had to do was frame the guy?”

THIS IS TENTATIVE. CEASE YOUR MISSION, DEFY US AGAIN, AND WE WILL TAKE THEM BACK AT ONCE.

“Great, I love being shoved around.” You can’t remember what you were dreaming before they showed up. Everything is a blinding white now, with vague shapes writhing in a far-off distance, like shadow puppets behind a veil. You don’t have a body, you’re not even feeling a floating sensation or anything. You just exist here, arguing with the outer gods. “No, it’s fine. I’ll keep going. I want to see that motherfucker jailed.”

THERE IS A NEW TASK FOR YOU.

In your dream, in the vast nothingness of incorporeality, you groan, loudly.

“What now?”

YOU WILL KILL THE PRINCE.

“Kill?” you echo. “Kill Dirk? You know he really helped tearing down Jim Walton, right? I don’t know that I could have done it without him. He got me to a hospital after that asshole chopped my finger off, so I’d probably at least have gotten a really nasty infect--”

HE HELPED FOR HIS OWN PROFIT. YOU KNOW THIS.

“Well, yeah,” you say. “Just seems kinda rude to immediately go kill him now that we’re done.”

YOU ARE RUDE.

“Fair point.”

ONCE YOUR POWERS ARE RESTORED, WE WILL SURGE INTO YOU. IT WILL BE OVERWHELMING, BUT YOU CAN TAKE IT, HEIR.

“Feel like I’ve heard that one before,” you say, but as per usual, they ignore your joke and keep talking.

YOU HAVE DONE IT BEFORE. YOU WILL BE OUR VESSEL AND CARRY US TO HIM. WE WILL TAKE CARE OF THE REST.

You don’t like the sound of that. Without your Light you might not be the brightest, but you are fairly sure you know what they mean. You’ve become their “vessel” once before, you’ve been “overwhelmed” by the powers they bestowed upon you once before, when you were thirteen, and a dog had just killed your mom. That didn’t end well. You didn’t manage to avenge her, and then you died.

“You haven’t really set a great precedent,” you tell them. “Are you even sure you can kill Dirk?”

YOU DARE DOUBT US. WE CAN KILL WHATEVER WE WANT TO KILL.

“Yeah, well. So can he. That’s your whole issue with him, isn’t it? He decides who lives and who dies. You don’t think he’s just going to decide that he lives?”

IT IS TIME HE LEARNED HIS PLACE IN THE HIERARCHY OF GODS.

“Ok, badass thing to say,” you say, but you can already feel yourself fading. That is no good. With what they announced, you don’t think you’re looking forward to waking up. Karkat is asleep next to you. Shit. “I don’t think it’s going to work, and if he kills me and it turns out to be a just death since, you know, I did kill six people in under half a year, aren’t we all kind of shit out of luck? You guys included? Hello?”

Your voice doesn’t echo. The writhing behind the veil has stopped. For a moment -- even if you tried, you couldn’t quantify the amount of time -- everything is still. Then, unceremoniously, your dream ends.

With a loud gasp, you sit up straight in your bed. Whether or not Karkat wakes up with you, you can’t tell. You can barely see. The light was off when you slept, of course, but it flickers on now, the bulb burns through, explodes. Shards of glass rain down on you as your body lifts up and off the bed, suspended in mid air as you, too, flicker with light. Your powers return to you all at once, and you become them, you turn into a figure of pure light, blinding, too bright to take, leaving behind a human-shaped scorch mark on the sheets below you. Knowledge flows through every part of your being and you scream, although your voice breaks almost immediately at the sheer amount of it filling up your head. Dave was bitten by one of his snakes recently. One of the flowers Karkat arranged in your bath for you the other day stands for love on first sight. Walton isn’t even officially arrested yet, but is already working on the means to make bail. Dirk hasn’t ascended back to his place as Crocker Corp CEO yet, but continues to indulge in consultations that are very much paving his way.

Before the insurmountable pain between your temples can make you pass back out, you exhale, and your light flicks off. In the darkness of your bedroom, your skin turns a dark grey, your hair a bright white, and your glowing eyes stare vacantly at the wall as you allow the horrorterrors to take over. Dimly, in the back of your mind, you still think that this is a stupid idea. But it sure as hell feels better than what you were going through a second ago.

All around you wafts the familiar black aura of grimdarkness, thorned tendrils curling and uncurling, as if stretching limbs that haven’t been properly used in almost a decade. You have to bring them to Dirk. It’s easy, you know where he lives. You’d wager he’s probably even awake. Somewhere outside of your blinds, the sun is already up over NYC. He’ll be home.

You want to say something to Karkat, you manage to think vaguely, you should, you really should. All that comes out, of course, are Eldritch tongues, and you can barely see him anyway, behind the thick forest of grimdarkness obscuring the real world from your vision. You like to think your voice sounds gentle, at least, as it always does. You don’t want him to worry. You know he will, oh, you know he will, and you know he will be devastated when Dirk inevitably kills you, and you inevitably stay dead, one too many monstrosities committed in your short life to be resurrected. Karkat will want to fight him, you think, and then Dirk will kill him, too.

You’d cry if you could. You can’t, though, and find yourself appreciating that. Once again, you are in the backseat of your life, letting someone else take over. And once again that someone else is a conglomerate of old gods you brought in from another universe, who seem so sure that they know what to do, now. You don’t think that they do. But there is no arguing with them. All you can do, now, watching from behind your eyes, is hope. That the return of your luck will be enough to get you through this fight.

And that your anger at the man who started all this, who could have stopped it all if he hadn’t gotten this drunk off his own power, will be enough to kill him.

You don’t know how you make it to Dirk’s house. You can barely focus on the world outside. All you think about is that you know where he is, and you know what he’s doing, and you know that he doesn’t know you’re coming. By the time you materialize a mere few feet away from him, you’ve channeled the last of your will into how much you hate him (and his stupid little bowlcut), and your snarl of Eldritch swears comes with an air of anticipation. If you put your mind to this, maybe, if you give it all you have, with any luck, you can bring the both of you down, and end this once and for all.

Fairly anticlimactically, you then proceed to have a deathmatch with Dirk in his house, which kills both Dirk and you and completely demolishes the place, but leaves neither of you perma-dead.

You have a Discord-exclusive awkward moment of recovery, agree to never tell Dave about this, and go your separate ways.

#posted ooc #action post #almost forgot about this in between the 2012 ships #dont worry abt reading i just like documenting stuff here #and the ending to this is just really funny to me #mentioned:#graphyca #g4lanthus #emacularius

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octavoh · 5 years

Note

heard you had an Octavo AU and I'm curious: Is he a puppet of Vaati ? Who hurt this poor boy™ and what is this AU about?

OHHH???? YOU’RE APPROACHING ME??????????

I AM VERY GLAD YOU ASKED BECAUSE BOY DO I HAVE A LOT OF CONTENT…

So the premise of the AU is that Vaati shares a body with Octavo due to some kind of curse. There’s a lot more below, including art for the AU. Please talk to me about it anytime!

I’m copy/pasting this from a doc. My notes are kind of incoherent, as I haven’t solidified the storyline too much (and most of them are just from me rambling on discord).

Context for the AU:

Vaati dies at the hands of the Hero in the Minish Cap. When he’s defeated, he casts a curse that binds his soul to a vessel. I don’t know what the parameters for the curse are, but it binds Vaati’s soul to Octavo’s.

Octavo knows that Vaati’s sharing a body with him, and Vaati can appear as an apparition to him. And since Octavo is born a few years after the events of MC he knows who Vaati is. That makes Octavo isolate himself, so at the point where shit goes down he lives as a hermit in the middle of the Minish Woods. He is, however, also a traveling musician who hoards instruments in his house.

16 years after Octavo’s birth, Ganondorf invades and takes over Hyrule. Both the king and queen -MC Zelda and Link- die at his hands. (They were barely adults at this point :( ) However, their daughter, Zelda, escapes with Impa.

And the plot:

The actual plot takes place 6 years after the fall of Hyrule. It’s anarchy, monsters abroad, Gan seeking the princess, etc. Zelda, now disguised as Sheik, takes refuge in Octavo’s house while being hunted by monsters. I made comic thumbnails about it. Click on the link to see ‘em

So Tavo opens up the door and hes like “bruh wtf” at all the monsters… and gets his ass beat. When Tavo’s knocked out, Vaati takes the chance to blast the monsters away (but doing so takes up most of the power he’s accumulated over Tavo’s lifetime, RIP).

Sheik sees this all happen. They know that Tavo’s gonna have a target on his back due to both his appearance (Since his color palette is kinda sheikah-like. I don’t know. It’s the pale hair) and, he just obliterated like half a platoon of monsters.

In the meantime, Ganondorf senses Vaati’s magic outburst. He takes it as a sign of the princess’s return, and mobilizes his forces.

Sheik and Tavo end up travelling together. This is a rash decision on Sheik’s part; they know that they could’ve left him behind without endangering him. However, Tavo’s also the only person they’ve really interacted with in three years and both of them are starved for human contact, so they end up clinging to each other.

For a while, they just travel without purpose, helping whatever people they meet on the way. (At this point they also hear about the Link of this AU. I’m still not sure where I’ll implement him and how, though, so I won’t elaborate rn.)

Then they meet [NAME PENDING]. He’s a suspicious old man that Tavo and Sheik just. Keep. Meeting. Eventually, the man confronts the duo. He’s the guide of the story, and tells Sheik about their mission and how they can defeat Ganon. He tells them to find Link.

Congratulations! [NAME PENDING] joined your party!

… Kind of. He disappears for days at a time. (Eventually, days become weeks. Weeks become months. Months become never again.)

And another major event that happens early on: while Tavo and Sheik are off adventuring, Tavo fucking dies. It’s probably not even a heroic death he just trips on a moblin or something.This activates an aspect of Vaati’s curse.

So Vaati and Tavo make a pact (a la Ava’s Demon) before their souls really die. I’m still figuring out what exactly they promise each other.

This is what the pact does, though:

- Vaati takes somewhat of a “backseat”. However, if it’s necessary, he can take over Tavo’s body for a while. (Doing so puts immense strain on Vaati and he can’t do anything for a while).

- It lets Tavo and Vaati communicate via dreams.

- Vaati also surrenders his magic power to Tavo (until the pact is … accomplished? Its conditions are met?) but Tavo, being a dumbass… doesn’t find this out till later.

- It changes Tavo’s appearance… dyes the dude purple.

- Vaati’s powers magically amplify Octavo’s music, letting him summon monsters and manipulate the elements (to an extent) with it. I might give him the wind waker because it’s the perfect weapon for Tavo (Is baton, has wind powers).

The rest goes something like this:

- Old man disappears altogether.

- The party finds Link. (Link is a soldier who was chosen by the Triforce of Courage after his predecessor, MC Link, died in battle. He leads somewhat of a one-man rebellion against Ganon.)

- Link also remembers all his past lives (Granted, there aren’t many of them at this point in the timeline.) This includes MC Link.

- Link is immediately hostile towards Octavo. Their animosity is probably going to be a major arc in the story. (…I’m probably not going to write it. F)

- Sheik and Tavo fight Link at some point when Link attacks Tavo. Eventually they get along and travel together lol

Also I think that the stuff that happens when the party gets to Hyrule Castle deserves its own section so it’s here. My notes also get a lot more incoherent from this point on, so beware

- As Tavo, Sheik, and Link gradually approach Hyrule Castle, they notice something different. The (Hylian + some Gerudo) citizens are happy and healthy. The castle is not in ruins. There are no monsters. It’s eerily idyllic.

- The castle is surrounded by an aura of malice, but everything else is peaceful.

- When they enter the Castle, the staff seem mostly be Gerudo. They welcome the party warmly. (The party is literally just waiting for the sneak attack, but it never comes).

- I don’t know what these are but they’re probably quotes/explanations from people in the castle

- “Six years ago, our king, Ganondorf Dragmire, came to Hyrule. Contrary to what you think, we did come in peace; we were to strike a trade agreement benefitting both our nations. During the last few days of negotiation, Ganondorf fell to a bout of madness- some sort of possession. Nobody had seen anything like it before.”

- “He came back to his senses to discover the blood of a thousand Hylians on his hands.”- [bitterly] “He still disappears to who-knows-where, only communicating with us by notes. We are doing the best we can to make amends for his own actions.”

- [From… Nabooru?] “I grew up with him as a child. He is hiding himself because he thinks- no, he knows- he will hurt others.“

And stuff from/about Ganondorf:

- Gan does his best to keep the will of Demise at bay.

- The Thing Happened when he touched some evil artifact in the Hyrule Castle vaults, which enabled Demise to use him and wreck shit up

- Gan has been researching the triforce to better understand what happened to him and learns about the Link/Zelda/Gan cycle thing.

- So the party meets Gan. Link’s in FIGHT mode from the start- Sheik and Tavo recognize Gan’s voice. Oh, wait. That old man…. Huh……..

- They fight and you can see that Gan’s holding back. But before Link can deal the finishing blow Gan goes apeshit because he can’t hold back Demise’s spirit anymore

- Cue epic boss fight but it’s sad because oh man that’s the old dude

- I know i mentioned [NAME PENDING] for like 2 lines but he’s an integral part of the story and becomes a little bit like a father figure to Sheik (and a lesser extent, Tavo). So they’re fighting a close friend. it’s not fun.

- By the end of the battle everyone’s exhausted, triforce pops out and forms that wish-granting triangle thing

- Guess who boops it. Surprise mothafucka, it’s Vaati (having taken over Tavo’s body.)

- He does the evil speech thing and taps the triangle with malicious intent. But there’s been a Vaati redemption arc throughout the story where he learns to empathize with people and become a decent dude. And though his wish sounds evil, but the interpretation is surprisingly neutral/good because his heart’s not really in it, so to speak. i havent even decided to use that particular event or not, though.

I’ve got a doc (It’s kinda inconsistent with what’s here. I need to update it)

And refs!

Tavo:

Sheik/Zelda:

Link:

Headshots of Octavo, Sheik, and Link respectively:

Yeah! Thanks for reading through all this; I’m really glad you asked!!

#vaati #octavo #octavo coh #this is SUPER LONG under the cut

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welcometophu · 4 years

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Into the Split: Evolution 6

Twinned Book 3: Into the Split

Evolution 6

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“‘M going out,” Alaric says, grabbing a jacket on his way out the door of his dorm room. “Me and Chris are meeting Dax and Cass at the ‘Skeller. Dax has some shit to go over. Cass is tagging along.”

From the way his voice gets a little sharper, Nikolai gets the feeling Alaric doesn’t like Cass much. Or at least doesn’t like the fact that she’s tagging along.

“Said something about Nate might stop by, too.” Alaric shrugs. “Whatever. I think they’ve got some new drill ideas for spring and summer training. Want me to bring you back a cookie?”

Nikolai has no idea what a Skeller, training drills, and a cookie have to with each other. He glances at Seth and they both shake their heads.

Kit sits on the floor of the dorm room cross-legged, digging through his bag to pull out pencils one by one. He doesn’t even look up.

Rory settles in next to Kit, his left thigh pressed against Kit’s leg, a guitar balanced on his lap. “Bring back four,” he says. “Don’t have to be hot; we’ll warm them in the microwave. We’ll probably need a snack by then, even if Kit’s not thinking about it.”

“Hm?” Kit looks up.

“You’ll be hungry after this,” Rory says with a small, fond smile.

“Probably.” Kit motions at Nikolai and Seth, using his hands to ask them to sit further apart. Nikolai slides away, finding a new spot on the floor with plenty of space between himself and Seth.

Alaric lingers in the doorway. “Kit, if you’re staying here tonight—”

“I have my own room.” Kit glances at Rory, who shakes his head, and Kit continues gathering his supplies, laying out pencils in an order Nikolai doesn’t understand, next to a notebook. “I’m heading back there tonight. Rory’ll be here.”

“I’ve got that 8am tomorrow,” Rory says.

Alaric grunts softly. “You know you don’t have to—”

“We’re fine.” Rory cuts him off with a wave of his hand. “Go catch up with Chris. Get everything out of your system that needs to get out. You haven’t even been back that long. Go spend time with him. Just close the door when you go. That’ll give us a chance of keeping most of the floor out. Except Nikita. Not much keeps her from barging in.” He says it like it’s a joke, and Kit has a mumbled laugh in response while Alaric grumbles.

“Fine.” He tugs the door shut with a soft click and thunk.

Kit looks at Nikolai, frowning deeply, then shifts to stare at Seth. He does nothing but watch them for several uncomfortable minutes, while Rory plucks strings on his guitar, tuning it idly. Rory plays a few notes in succession, and Kit’s posture eases.

“I was wrong,” he said, holding his hands out toward each of them, and bringing his palms together. “I need you together, at least to start. Your energy works better that way.”

Seth shrugs as they move closer together again. Kit continues to watch them, and Nikolai lifts one arm to drop it behind Seth. They lean against each other, finding a comfortable way to sit together before Kit finally looks away.

Kit points at them with a pencil. “That’s good. Don’t move.” He opens his notebook to a fresh page, props it on his knees, and hunches over as he works.

The pencil scratches across paper, rough at some points, smooth at others. Nikolai is afraid to break the silence; he doesn’t want to disturb Kit’s concentration.

Rory plays softly, his hair falling in his face as he tilts his head down, expression soft as he focuses on the music. He opens his mouth, and Nikolai half expects him to start singing. He’s surprised when Rory speaks instead.

“You won’t bother him,” Rory says, his voice at normal volume. The music never stops, his fingers moving over the strings, shifting between parts of the melody. “If he was just drawing, then probably, but when I’m boosting him like this, he’s pretty much lost in the fugue.”

“He can’t hear us?” Seth asks.

Rory laughs, shakes his head. He reaches up to push his bangs back out of the way. “He can hear us. He’s just… his Talent has him.”

It makes sense to Nikolai, when it’s phrased like that. He knows how easy it would be to slip into the Dream and just never come back. He wonders if Kit feels that, too, teetering on the edge of madness. “I get it,” he says. “That’s a unique Talent?” He asks it as a question, because he’s not sure exactly what Kit’s Talent is. He’s drawing. Nikolai isn’t even sure why, just that Pawel asked them to make sure they did this after the Coven meeting.

Coven. That was… something else entirely.

Nikolai exhales roughly at the memory of it, and turns to press a kiss against the side of Seth’s head. He hadn’t let go of Seth’s hand the entire time in that room, even when they were grabbing snacks with everyone else.

“I’m surprised Pawel didn’t ask us to speak in front of that Coven meeting,” Seth mutters dryly. When Nikolai stiffens, Seth huffs. “I felt your tension rise. I figured you were thinking about it,” he says.

“Occasionally Pawel has random bursts of logic in between his fits of mania,” Rory says. He pauses, and when he starts playing again, the melody has shifted. It’s a little faster now, and Nikolai swears that Kit’s pencil moves more quickly as well.

“Kit’s from a Predictive Lineage,” Rory says. Kit makes a disgruntled noise, and Rory presses his knee closer to Kit’s. “It’s along the female line, though, so Kit’s not actually Predictive. He started exploring ritualistic magic, like the kind my family does, which is actually how we met. Somewhere in there Carolyn discovered that she has a Talent for Traveling, as well as being Predictive. Her Traveling uses pictures.”

“We saw them,” Seth says. “She had some drawings.”

And a deck of cards. Nikolai isn’t going to forget those cards, or her fortune telling. It was all too on point, when it came to telling him that he’d be moving between the worlds. He wonders if eventually that same card will come up again, to tell him that it’s time to go back.

“Mine,” Kit mumbles. “They work best.”

The lines of his art are already done, and even upside down, Nikolai recognizes that shapes of his and Seth’s bodies, intertwined as they are. There’s a soft energy to the image as if Kit draws one person in two bodies, which feels a little strange to see from the outside.

“Kit’s art works really well for Carolyn. And when he’s with me—” Rory slows what he’s playing, taking the rollicking tune and making it into a ballad. “My innate Talent is being able to stop someone else’s Talent when I touch them. When I first met Mattie, she told me I was absorbing their energy, not just stopping it. So I’ve been working on providing energy to others, and it happens to work really well with Kit.”

Kit makes a soft noise, and Rory knocks against his knee gently.

“So if we touch, he makes hyper-realistic drawings that Carolyn can use to Travel,” Rory says. “Short version of it all, anyway.”

“We’re not a place,” Seth says, gesturing from himself to Nikolai.

“She can go to you.” Kit just barely glances up at them before bending back to grab a different pencil for shading. “If you let her. I think you have to let her. I don’t actually know how she does what she does, but she’s used a picture of me to come across campus to me when she didn’t want to walk in the rain. I’ll do separate ones of you two as well. This one just felt like how it’s supposed to be. You two have been together so long you’re more one person than separate.”

“Soulmates?” Rory murmurs.

Kit gives a shallow one-shouldered shrug. “Maybe. I don’t know. I didn’t meet Tony, so I haven’t seen him with Ángel. I can’t see us from the outside. And everything with Shane and Pels and—” Kit cuts off, making an irritable noise. “That’s just a mess.”

“What’s with Pels?” Nikolai feels like it’s rude to ask, but at the same time, he’s never met anyone quite like her.

Admittedly, he met a lot of people tonight, and he doesn’t remember half of them. But it’d be impossible to forget Pels.

She’d slipped into the room just as the meeting was started, and she’d pinned herself to the back wall as if she wanted to be anywhere else but there. Instead of watching Pawel, she’d looked at the space between herself and the door, then glanced over at Nikolai and Seth, brow furrowing in confusion. She’d turned back to that empty space by the door and hissed something Nikolai couldn’t quite hear. The girl closest to her on the other side had sidled a little further away.

Pels had crossed her arms, muttered, “Fine,” then leaned her head back against the wall and ignored Pawel for the rest of the meeting.

“I couldn’t figure out why she was even there,” Nikolai continues. “She seemed like she really resented it.”

“Pels is going through some shit,” Rory says, the melody shifting again to something capricious and strident. “She’s not a Mage, and she’s not the kind of person who likes to talk about her Talent. She lives down this hall, actually, and no one ever really gets to know her. She’s at Coven because she says she has to be, but it’s pretty much awkward all the time.”

“She felt angry,” Seth muses.

“Resentful,” Kit mutters. “They’ll figure it out eventually.”

“There were so many people there.” Nikolai can’t even name half the people he met. He’d guess there were thirty people in the room at the start of the meeting, a few drifting out early, and more drifting in late as half the group moved into the hall and gathered at tables. “So many Talents all in one place. It still feels strange to see.”

“Four out of every five people here are Talented,” Rory says. “That’s something like… five thousand students. Less, if that statistic doesn’t include the grad students, but I always figured it did. There’s another school not far from here that’s like not quite half Talent for students.”

Nikolai has absolutely no words for that.

“No wonder you attract the Shadows,” Seth says, voice low and dark. “You gather openly. You’re calling to them.”

The strings go discordant under Rory’s fingers. Kit stops drawing, sets down his pencil, and slides his hand over to touch Rory’s knee. Kit slides his hand over Rory’s jeans until the music starts again, then Kit carefully picks up his pencil and starts to draw again.

Nikolai’s face feels warm, and he stares at the wall to give them privacy.

“To be fair,” Rory says slowly, the pick of notes underlining the cadence of his words, “we didn’t have a problem with Shadows until recently. They’ve popped up here and there, but we couldn’t link any of the occurrences until we started trying to actively put it together. The death of Alaric’s brother, and his brother’s roommates. Then the death of a man from VIT, and his best friend is in a coma. We caught one of the Shadows responsible for those attacks, and we thought that was it. We’re only just figuring out exactly how big a problem it is, and that’s with your help. We have not had the experience you did.”

“You just live openly, and the humans don’t resent you,” Seth says.

“We’re all human,” Rory counters. “And some do, I’m sure. Just like I’m envious of someone with incredible musical Talent, or like you might look at someone achieving a goal and both want to be them and hurt them at the same time because you want that goal. There are people out there who are afraid of what we can do. But we’re here. We’re a part of this world, and ever since Kenzie Davis Emerged, everyone knows we exist. And in some cases, they suspected all along, like the town around my grandparents’ commune.”

“Where are your grandparents from?”

Nikolai half expects to hear Havenhill in response to Seth’s question, but he knows logically that can’t be true. Not with what he knows of this world.

“Burlington.” Rory bends his head, hair falling across his face as his brow furrows. His focus shifts as his fingers slow, and Nikolai wonders if he’s picking out this slow melody for the first time. “Vermont. North of here. They’ve sort of built this commune on one side of town and they’ve got farmland and they’re kind of independent. A little like Alaric’s home is. He talked to them some about spinning and dyeing when we were up visiting.”

Rory glances up, hair still half covering his eyes when he looks at Nikolai and Seth. “Alaric told me about Havenhill. And Alia. And him not being a part of it.”

“We thought about going to Burlington,” Seth says quietly. “It was a lot further north, and we weren’t sure we could get there safely. We didn’t have a lot of information about Vermont trickling out of there, but we knew there were probably at least one or two walled and lit cities between us and them. But we’d heard there was a group up there in our world.”

“Probably something similar to my family.” Rory falls silent as Kit sets his pencil down. Rory leans in closer, lightly touching the paper in front of Kit. “That was quick.”

“Mm, they’re easy together. It’s going to be harder to draw them alone.” Kit holds up the piece of paper and it’s almost like looking at a black & white photograph. Kit’s captured not just the image, but it also feels like their essence is there on the page, like if Nikolai reached out and touched it, it might come alive.

Seth whistles low under his breath. “You’re good.”

“I’m better with Rory.” Kit motions for them to move, and Nikolai carefully unwinds himself from Seth. It’s abruptly cold as Nikolai finds himself a spot to lean against the wall. Kit points his pencil at Seth. “Hold still. Stop talking. Just be you.”

Seth makes a face.

Kit furrows his brow in return. “Okay, fine, stare at Nikolai. That’ll make you relax.”

Seth snorts softly, but he does turn to sit cross-legged, leaning back on his hands, head slightly tilted as he looks at Nikolai. He licks his lips, and Nikolai’s face warms.

“Tell me about Havenhill,” Rory says, while Kit bends back to his art.

“We have a house there.” Nikolai smiles remembering it, and the few little touches that had started to make it feel like home. “It’s on the edges of the first grove, and apparently everyone thought it was haunted after the family disappeared.”

Rory blinks, mouth slightly open as he startles. “The Berman house?”

“Benford,” Nikolai replies, “but we’re not in the main house. There are two, and your friends took the big house while they were there, and we took the smaller house. Everyone in Havenhill was welcoming, and we’ll figure out how to fit in better when we get back.” He tilts his head back, exhaling softly as he relaxes. There’s a small catch in Seth’s breath, and Nikolai smiles, tilting his head a little further to show off his neck.

“Our world is a mess,” Nikolai says softly. “The humans retreated into the cities and built walls around them. They keep them brightly lit all the time to keep the Shadows away, and Talents are locked out because they know that the Shadows hunt us more than them. So the humans hunt us too, sometimes. I think they think that if all the Talents were gone, the Shadows would disappear, too. We… we had a home, for a while, then that was burnt down and I lost my family, so Seth and I started traveling to find Havenhill. We’d heard of it, and we had an idea where it might be, but they’ve tried to hide it. Warded it against Shadows and Humans both. There are five groves in sort of circles leading outward from the main house where Alia and Val live.”

He opens one eye to glance at Rory. The music hasn’t changed, and Rory doesn’t seem to be looking at him, but it feels like he has his attention. “Val is Alia’s wife,” Nikolai says, and Rory makes a small noise of acknowledgement. “I don’t think Alia has any children. Val has a son—Ethan—and she takes care of her… I think Marybelle is her niece. Alaric was surprised. Both that his mother was married to a woman, and that that woman was a Mage.”

“If you ever meet Alia here, she’s very different,” Rory murmurs. “And his father hates Mages. As passionately as most Clan seem to. It sounds as if the Alia in your world became a very different person.”

“It’s a very different world.” Nikolai can think of thousands of differences between there and here. “Just the idea that she’s not married to Alaric’s father—and I don’t think he even existed there—is a big difference. And our Alia has been dealing with trying to save her community from the Shadows for more than a decade, and creating Havenhill out of her home. Even if her life was the same up to a point, it would have had to diverge when she never had the family that Alaric has.”

“It makes me wonder what our Alia would be like if it weren’t for Theobald.” Rory pauses, shifts to a completely different melody, and Kit hums along under his breath.

“Carolyn told Alia to start a revolution,” Kit says quietly.

“What?” Rory pauses, hand flat against the strings.

“Drea brought her to Carolyn for a reading.” Kit frowns at the paper, turns it slightly before he starts shading with a different pencil. “Carolyn said the reading ended up saying that she might start a revolution. She didn’t hear anything more after that.”

“Alia came to a Mage willingly for magic.” Rory lowers the guitar. He looks like he’s about to stand when he glances at Kit and presses his knee closer to him, keeping contact.

“Maybe they’re more similar than you think,” Nikolai says. His gaze is on Seth, who still watches him, a small smile playing about his lips. “Magic is everywhere in Havenhill,” Nikolai explains. “It’s in the wards. It’s in the way that Amaranth maintains the groves.”

“Groves?”

“Lemon trees, and Amaranth works with my brothers to keep them growing in the north,” Nikolai says. He leans forward, hands moving as he speaks. “They have technology there. Power. Refrigeration and tools. But they also have magic to help create and preserve and ensure they have a life even though the world isn’t hospitable. And to make sure they’re safe.”

“Maybe that’s why they all went there.” Kit sets the pencil down and lifts the pad of paper, looking at it closely before he flips to a clean sheet. He shifts slightly so he’s looking at Nikolai now. “Maybe everyone who went there had to see it happening. Had to see how they cooperate to build something. Because even after the Emergence—even after everyone’s living publicly—we’re all still separate. We’re all still sorted neatly into our own communities.”

“You think they went—” Nikolai cuts off when Kit raises a hand and mimes cutting him off.

“Stay still,” Kit orders.

Seth stretches, finally released from staying in one position. “You think they went there to learn a lesson,” he echoes. “Well then, why the fuck have we been dragged back here?”

“Maybe there’s something you need from our world.” Kit shrugs one shoulder. “Hell if I know.”

Nikolai has no idea either, but Seth looks like he’s mulling the thought over. “This is what our world was like before,” Seth says slowly, as if he’s tasting the words on the way out. “This is the world we might want to rebuild after we get the Shadows out. It’s been a long time for us. For all of us. Even the humans—”

“Maybe stop thinking of it as us versus them,” Kit says.

“Hard to do when they want to kill us as much as the Shadows do,” Seth shoots back. He props his elbows on his knees, hunches forward. “Still. They’ve forgotten this, too. They don’t have easy lives, living in the light all the time. They can’t go from place to place easily. None of us remember what it’s like to be intermingled and safe. So maybe seeing this is what can help us rebuild it at home.”

“Plus helping each other so we can get to a point where you can rebuild.” Rory picks up his phone as it buzzes. “Hang on. I’m putting Alaric on speaker.”

Kit stops drawing, the image of Nikolai only in outline so far on the page. Rory leans forward to place the phone between them all. “You’re on speaker,” he says. “What’s up? I thought you were doing football things.”

“We were.” Alaric’s voice rumbles through the phone, other voices in the background. It’s more than Nikolai expects, as if a crowd surrounds them. “Drea’s here. My mom called to talk to both of us.”

It’s almost as if they invoked her, as if they summoned Alia back to the conversation after they thought they were done.

“Oh?” Rory asks warily. He rests one hand on Kit’s knee, and Kit goes back to working on the art, pencil scratching hurriedly across the paper.

“She’s called a Gather,” Alaric says. “We’re going.”

“Are you leaving right now?”

“It’s this weekend. Be ready to leave Friday right after classes. Dax and Nate are trying to figure things out; they’ve got a track meet Saturday.”

Nikolai frowns at the phone until Kit makes a small noise; Nikolai tries to relax his expression again.

“Who is the we that is going?” Seth asks.

“All of us,” Alaric says. “Mages. Clan. Emergent or Lineage. My allies are coming in from outside. Everyone needs to be there. All of our allies in one place. We need to make a plan, and we’re hosting the Gather at Haverhill.”

Nikolai’s mind says Havenhill when Alaric names his home.

“Your mother is opening up the house to everyone,” Rory says slowly.

“She’s asked me for contact information for your family,” Alaric replies.

Rory blinks, and Seth makes a small sound of surprise. Rory’s hand goes tight on Kit’s knee. Kit pauses his art long enough to cover Rory’s hand with his own until his grip eases.

“And your father?” Rory asks, his voice tight. Even Nikolai can hear the wariness in his tone, see it in the stiffness of his body.

No response for a moment, just muffled voices in the background.

“Don’t know,” Alaric says quietly. “And don’t really care. I think this is the best thing for us, and so does she, so we’re doing it. Be ready to go on Friday. And that means all of you.” The phone goes silent.

Rory picks up the phone, fingers sliding over the screen as he obviously sends a text. “This is going to be a mess,” he says softly. “A big mess. But hopefully a good mess, too.”

“We’re going back to Havenhill,” Seth says, his eyes crinkling as he grins.

Nikolai wants to kiss him, but when he starts to move, Kit holds up a finger to keep him in place. Nikolai holds still as Kit draws, letting Seth crawl across the small space between them and brush a kiss against his lips.

They’re going back to Havenhill, in the only way they can right now. And with luck, this will lead to them eventually going back to Havenhill for real.

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strawberrymilkgeorge · 3 years

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Part Two. Jackbox Shenanigans

warnings: swearing word count: 2.6k (not including pictures) behind the screen (irl dream x reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

Y/n flinched awake, startled by the sounds traveling from the kitchen. Once again, the frosty air pricked her skin, trying to convince her to not move, to stay in bed under the warm blankets. Despite the feeling pulling her into her bed, she rubbed her eyes and sat up, grabbing her phone from her nightstand. Texts from Karl flooded her screen and she replied as she took her comforter off her mattress and wrapped it around herself. She pattered to the source of the noise to find her roommate was making food.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" Naomi asked, eyes wide with concern as she looked at Y/n. "I dropped a pan."

Y/n, who was observing the world through one squinted eye, shook her head and she sat at the counter in the kitchen. "No, I should be awake anyway."

"You're usually awake much earlier. Late night?"

Y/n nodded. "George streamed and we all talked for a little after."

"Oh, yeah, I watched his stream this morning..." she started, eyes focused on the food in front of her but Y/n still caught the mischievous glint in her roommate's eyes.

"Of course you did," Y/n laughed through a yawn. "That's your lover."

Naomi rolled her eyes. "Maybe if you gave me his number he would be."

"He doesn't give it to many people. I just barely got it and I've been friends with him for a year. I'm pretty sure Karl doesn't even have it."

Naomi groaned, though Y/n knew it was a joke... for the most part. She got another text from Karl, and consulted Naomi for a second opinion.

"Should I post this?" Y/n asked, lazily holding up her phone with a picture on the screen. Naomi squinted as she looked back over her shoulder. "Karl keeps yelling at me too."

"Yeah! That's a cute outfit. Make sure to credit Karl or he'll yell at you for that as well."

"No chance I'm doing that."

Incoming FaceTime... karol <3

Y/n hit accept and held the phone up to make a face at Karl. He mimicked the position. "Hello, sir."

"Hello, ma'am."

"What are you doing?" she asked him, walking to the bathroom to brush her teeth, her comforter dragging on the floor behind her as it continued to protect her from the cold.

Karl got distracted and started messing with something out of the camera view. "Um, trying to figure out what to do for my stream tonight. What about you?"

"I'm waiting for you to give me a fit check!" Y/n yelled. Karl quickly looked at the camera and smiled. He set his phone down on his desk and ran backward so his whole body was in frame. He posed awkwardly a few different ways before running back and resuming his position.

"Yes!" Y/n hyped with a mouthful of toothpaste. "Let's go, Karl! Karl with the old man sweater!!"

He giggled. "You're the one that told me to buy it."

"Because it's sick. Doesn't mean it didn't belong to an old man before you."

Karl pouted before his face lit up. "Guess what. I met a girl."

"Oh?" Y/n cooed. "Where? Do you have pictures? Is she cute?"

"She's Jimmy's new cameraman. Camerawoman. I don't have pictures, and yes. She's very cute." His cheeks turned red and Y/n smiled, flipping off the bathroom light and heading to her closet. She threw her comforter back on the bed and tried to pick out an outfit.

"Come on, bud, elaborate. What's her name? Have you asked her out yet?"

"You don’t get to know her name, I don’t want to jinx anything. Plus, you’ll just look ‘Mr Beast crew’ and find out anyway. Also, no, I haven’t. I'm pretty sure she thinks I hate her because I have not said a single word to her. I get so nervous when she's around I freeze up and just like... act weird. And then as soon as she's gone, Chris freaking roasts me so bad."

"Aw, I can teach you how to flirt if you want!"

"Yeah, okay," he scoffed, sarcasm dripping from his words.

"What's with the attitude? I'm great at flirting."

"No, you're not. I watched Gogy's stream last night."

"What does that have anything to do with anything?"

"I heard the way you spoke to Dream."

"What?!"

"You have zero game, Y/n. Absolutely none. Zilch, if you will."

"Yeah, because I wasn't flirting with him?"

"Not successfully, at least."

"Karl, what?" Y/n laughed but she was so confused. "No part of me was trying to flirt with anyone in that stream."

"Oh, come on," Karl groaned. "Don't do this again. Don't pretend to not like a guy and then cry to me when you're wack ass attempts don't win him over."

"Karl," Y/n started, looking directly at him. "I genuinely have no idea what you're talking about. I wasn't flirting with him. I do not like him."

"I'm just saying, you talk about him a lot. Like, you always panic when he interacts with your posts because you're scared he's going to DM you right after. And you gush about him a lot."

"I do not gush. I admire the hard work he puts into his videos but I talk the same about him as I do with George and Sapnap. The only difference is I'm friends with them and not Mr. Minecraft. He's intimidating, that doesn't mean I have a crush on him."

Karl stared for a moment, trying to read Y/n's expression to detect any lies. "You'd tell me if you did, right?"

"Karl, I tell you everything. I'd tell you if I murdered your family." They both laughed. "It's impossible to hide anything from you, you're my best friend."

"Okay, sweet, but please don't murder my family, just to be clear."

"I won't. I love your mom too much."

"Well, how was meeting Dream, then? Despite apparently not being in love with him?"

"It was cool. Terrifying because it felt very forced but the four of us hung out on the call after George ended his stream and he was much more relaxed."

"That's true. Aren't we all?"

"Not you! You're the exact same person on and off camera. Just a little ball of giggles."

Karl giggled which made them both laugh more. Suddenly, as if he completely forgot until that moment, Karl sat up quickly and yelled, "What am I going to do for the stream?"

Y/n shrugged. "See if anyone wants to play Jackbox. Chat always loves those and it's relatively easy to throw together last minute. You just need to find people that are free to play."

"Genius. Who should we invite?"

"We?"

"Yeah. It was your idea, you have to play."

"But, I've never played! And I barely know all your friends so I wouldn't get half the inside jokes. I'd be a boring addition."

"Please? They're your friends too! You just talked to Sapnap and George for four hours yesterday and George was the only one playing anything. That's friendship if I've ever seen it."

"But... others.... like literally everyone besides Sap and George...."

"Things like this are how you get to know them better. Besidessss, you're never boring."

"Fine, I'll play."

"YES!" he shouted. "Okay, who should we invite?"

**********

Y/n huffed and scooted her chair closer to her desk. She pulled up Discord and hovered over the voice chat everyone was in. An overwhelming number of voices chaotically spoke over each other as soon as she joined.

"Oh no," she mumbled.

"AYYEE!!" a voice yelled, the green bubble lighting around Quackity's name confirming her suspicions.

"Aye," she said back less enthusiastic. "Hi everyone."

"She's here!" George cheered.

Y/n could hear Sapnap huff. "Finally. Geesh."

"This isn't even your stream, calm down." Y/n's eyes scanned the names on the left to read who else was involved in tonight's games. She had suggested a few people to Karl but wasn't sure about the final list. Besides the boys who had already greeted her were BadBoyHalo and Dream.

"Hello, Bugsy! It's nice to meet you! I'm BadBoyHalo."

Y/n smiled widely at his voice. "Hi, BadBoyHalo! Nice to meet you too."

Her eyes slowly traveled to the last name on the list, which had yet to greet her. She wasn't bitter, but she was curious why he hadn't said anything yet. The boys hyped up him talking about her so much but she had yet to feel that energy from him. She picked at the bottom of her hoodie, eyes darting between the names as they lit up when someone spoke.

"Is Dream still AFK?" Sapnap asked.

"I think so," Bad replied.

Maybe that's the only reason he hadn't said anything. Y/n felt stupid for thinking it had anything to do with her.

"He's probably coding something or something like that," George teased.

"Haha nerdy ass man," Quackity cackled.

"Language."

"Don't you also code shit, George?" Sapnap called out. "You're probably helping him test something after this, huh? As Quackity said, nerdy ass man."

"You know what, Sapnap? I'm not sure I like your attitude all that much."

Y/n smiled. Despite feeling nervous, she was already having fun just listening to everyone talk. The real nerves would kick in when they were live in front of tens of thousands of people and she would have to be funny.

A message popped up in the general chat, notifying everyone that Karl was joining the voice call soon so they shouldn't say anything bad.

"Everyone say something weird," Quackity directed.

Discord dinged and Karl's name joined the list on the side. "AAAHHHH-!" he started yelling over everyone to let them know he was here in case they were saying anything bad. With his luck, they were going to say stuff anyway to mess with him.

"So, yeah, that's how I lost my virginity," Quackity said as if he just finished a story.

"To a prostitute?" Sapnap added quickly. "Wow, I never thought you... oh Karl!"

"Language!" Bad gasped.

"What the..." Karl laughed loudly. "What did I just join?"

"Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry," Quackity apologized, which was hard to make out since he was laughing so hard, surprised at what Sapnap added to his joke.

"Bad, you can't say language about a prostitute," Sapnap defended. "That's really rude of you. Maybe it's a little unconventional but they're just tryna make some money the best way they know how."

George laughed with Quackity as Bad sputtered. "I-I said language about what Quackity said!"

"What, virginity?" Karl asked innocently and Bad yelled again.

"Bad hates people who have had sex!" Y/n called, causing Quackity to laugh loudly.

"Bad! How could you?! That's so messed up!"

"Wait, guys, is everyone here?" Karl asked.

"Dream isn't. We don't know where he went."

Karl groaned and started typing something, presumably yelling at Dream to join.

"Let's goooo! We're popping off!" Quackity started saying, stalling. "We're popping off!" George joined him, becoming absolute fools to keep the chat entertained.

"Okay, he's here!" Karl said. "Everyone's here!"

"I'm here, I'm here, sorry. I was... yeah, sorry," Dream stuttered out.

"Welcome back, Dream!" Bad chirped.

"Hello!" he replied. Unexpectedly, his next greeting was directed at Y/n. "Hi, Bug."

Y/n instantly got shy for no discernable reason. She blamed it on his voice and its ability to manipulate emotions any way he wanted. That and she was getting attention from someone first. "Hi," she squeaked back, hoping the contrast of her icy hands would cool her face enough to focus on the game.

"Bugsy, you are adorable," Bad stated simply.

"Sapnap! What did you just send me?" George asked loudly, and just like that, the attention was off of her and she could breathe again.

"What?" Sapnap feigned innocence.

This was going to be a long game.

"Let's play!" Karl decided. "Should we warm up with some Quippy?"

Y/n focused intensely on her answers, silently hoping the others would find her funny.

"Oh my gosh," she mumbled as everyone else finished writing. "Y'all, I'm about to get Quiplashed so hard. Don't make fun of me."

"I seriously doubt it," Dream said. "You can't possibly be worse than George at this game."

"Shut up, we always- it's like 3 am my time. I can't, like, think of things 'cause my brain isn't functioning."

"Yeah, that's why," Sapnap teased.

"Surreee," Dream said.

The first round wasn't too bad. Y/n was in 5th place but she got quite a few laughs so she didn't care too much about where she stood. She got a notification from Dream on Twitter as everyone laughed at one of Quackity's answers.

Y/n looked back at her screen and saw the new prompt and answers. She read them quickly as everyone was laughing and with a few seconds left to choose, voted for the one on the left. It was funnier anyway.

She loosened up substantially after another round, and she knew it was mostly because Dream had reached out to her. Something about him comforted her and made her feel safe, which warmed her heart.

"Bugsy! What the hell, that's so messed up. You're so messed up," Quackity yelled, laughing at the answer on the screen. They were playing Survive the Internet and her comment got taken way out of context, just as the game intended.

"Oh my gosh!" Karl cackled loudly. "Bugsy, I didn't know you felt that way. Oh my gosh? They're just kids?? Bugsy out the gang?"

Y/n hid her face in her hands and laughed. "Noooo!! Wait I never knew- I didn't know I was ever in the gang?"

"She really said, 'infant children? slaughter them all'," Sapnap joked.

"You know, I think you'd get along really well with Technoblade," Dream added. "Though his specialty is orphans, as it appears."

"No, no, no, whoever wrote that heading is SO messed up!" Y/n defended, rereading the heading that made her comment look bad. She knew it was a game but all the attention on her was making her embarrassed. "Who would think to put that?"

"Everyone cancel Busgy!" Karl yelled.

"Karl, no! You're supposed to be my best friend!"

"I don't know how I feel about my best friend killing children..."

"Karl!!"

"Nooo," Bad protested softly. "I like Bugsy. Don't cancel her."

"Everyone vote!"

The article with Y/n's name turned out to be Dream's. "Dream! What the hell is wrong with you?" she yelled, causing him to wheeze loudly.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I wanted point."

The whole night ended up being like that. Y/n had a lot of fun and by the end, she felt a lot more comfortable with all of them. Quackity, Karl, and Sapnap were loud and very high energy while George and Bad were quieter. Dream was half and half, sometimes matching Quackity's volume and sometimes going a while without saying a word. Overall, Y/n had a lot of fun and hoped to let back in the gang in the future.

**********

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A/N: WOOO PART TWOOO!! Hope you guys enjoyed this part! Also thank you so much for all the love on the first part!! I did not expect it to get as much attention as it did!!!!!

we clearly haven’t got to dream and yn being close yet bc they literally met the day before this but i added a small little dream/yn moment :] pls let me know how you liked this part!!!!!!!!!!!!

taglist: OPEN (at the time) @hydrate-tion @loraleiix @tinaswagbd @charsdummb @smileyyuta @1ghoste1 @cerberus-hellhound @gaysludge @queestionmark @carnations-red @letsloveimagines @the-fictionwriters-hairdo @boiled-onionrings @a-cryptic @fee-btheweeb @letsloveimagines @erwinss @just-a-stan

#rpf #real person fiction #dream x reader #dream x y/n #dreamwastaken x reader #dreamwastaken x y/n #mcyt x reader #mcyt x y/n #dreamwastaken smau #dream smau #social media fiction #social media au

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