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makeste · 4 years

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BnHA Chapter 268: Please Don’t Tap on the Glass

Previously on BnHA: Dabi revealed his true identity to Hawks! His real name is actually [sound of semi truck horns blaring]. What’s that? You didn’t hear me? I said it’s [sound of dolphins chattering]. You really need to listen better. Anyway, so Dabi set Hawks on fire a bunch of times, and Hawks had some flashbacks indicating that Endeavor saved him when he was a small child, and just when it was starting to look like we might get our second tragic death chapter in a row, Tokoyami showed up to defend his mentor! Meanwhile in Jakku, Miruko remembered that even though kicking ass is fun and she’s really good at it, she still had a job to do, so she sped off toward Ujiko’s little hideaway, getting stabbed and impaled a bunch of times along the way and losing an ear and shit (I very much look forward to the cyberpunk robot-limbed Miruko 2.0 that we had better fucking get once this arc is over). Fortunately Endeavor showed up to help her out! Anyway, so absolutely no one was talking about this last week, but the chapter totally ended with Miruko about to bust open Tomura’s bacta tank with a badass roundhouse kick, so, uh. Shit might be about to go down you guys.

Today on BnHA: Shit does indeed go down, but at a very languid pace. Ujiko apparently built Tomura’s holding tank out of Nokia phones and kevlar, so even though Miruko gets a few good kicks in, she ultimately doesn’t do more than just crack it. So now the tank is just standing there leaking ominously while Ujiko sobs for no reason and we all ponder whether or not a 75%-charged Tomura will be any less doom-harbinging than the full-fledged deal. In the meantime we’ve got Girl Noumu thinking strategic thoughts and chucking acid at peeps; Crust still doing absolutely nothing; Endeavor not doing that much better to be honest; and Mic and Aizawa ready and raring to go kill the old man who turned their dead buddy into a sentient Einstein-Rosen bridge. Obviously I’m all in favor of this last bit, but I’m also on team “Mic and Aizawa not dying horribly” though, so. I do have some concerns here.

full disclosure, I’m very sleep-deprived for various reasons related to various things which can be broadly summed up as Just 2020 In General. so anyway, I’m dealing with it, but I’ve noticed that my rate of typos and errors and such has shot waaaaay up in this past week or so, so I’m just putting that out there that you may find some weird shit in this post! maybe I will write the same sentence maybe I will write the same sentence multiple times, or or the same word twice in a row by mistake, or use the completely wrong word. you are more than welcome to point this out and I will not take any offense and will indeed be grateful because I’ve apparently gone blind to it all! anyway so how are you I hope everyone is well

anyway! the chapter is early (god for all I know it’s been out for hours already. HOW FAR BEHIND AM I) so I’m recapping it early so that I will have more time to play Animal Crossing and fish and craft all of my troubles away. speaking of which Horikoshi, you had better not bring me any troubles this week, I am not in the mood do you hear

good fucking lord

is all of that Miruko’s blood??!? god, she’s even better at bleeding than everyone else. now hold up all you excited vampires, you all can get in line, I was here first

by the way Endeavor, I gave you a pass last week because your entrance was so fucking raw and you saved my girl’s life and that was really neat my man. but now that I’ve recovered from my shock and awe and am ready to be sarcastic once more, I just want to say... welcome to the party, guy. did you stop for drive-thru on your commute from the other side of the planet. were you simply not immune to the bizarre 5th dimensional time-stands-still effects of March 2020. are you curious at all how your son has changed during these past 20 years, and by “son” I am referring not to Dabi, but Shouto. are you looking forward to meeting all of Shouto’s children. are you excited to be a granddad. anyway thank you so fucking much for finally making your way down to this lair with all the speed and haste of a federal appeals process

and I see Crust is still fighting this guy after six decades

(ETA: I would be more upset about the scan quality here, but let’s face it, nobody actually cares about seeing this in HD. I’m sorry Crust.)

and we’re really expected to believe this is the very next ranked hero below Miruko. could it be that the hero ranking system is actually flawed. don’t tell me. I’m just as shocked as you are

seriously??

are we really going to stop and chat with Geriatric Hero: Crust over here. really. far be it from me to tell you how to do your job, Number One. but I’m just saying, I’m pretty sure he does still have... let’s just check... one... two... yep, two arms. not that I’m saying your system for prioritizing which of your fellow heroes to help out should be based off of the number of arms they have. but also I am saying that

OH SONNY BOY

is that a two-page panel of Aizawa Hatake Kakashi Shouta and his loyal husband Screaming Man leaping into the fray to take on some high end Noumus with their bad and sexy selves. I think that’s exactly what it is. are we blessed or are we blessed. Aizawa I’m pleased to see you haven’t aged a day and are looking just as fine as ever in this the year 2045

oh wow Endeavor I thought you had incinerated it

why wouldn’t you incinerate it. please incinerate it. did you not learn your lesson. please don’t start taking your cues from Dilly Dally Hero: Crust over here

oh wow

and yet Miruko was kicking all of their asses like they were made of plywood. really though guys. only number five. okay

Aizawa’s shouting that he wasn’t able to erase that last Noumu who was impaling Miruko because his vision was obstructed. that’s okay Aizawa, that’s why Endeavor is hopefully about to incinerate him

oh snap here we go

again, one has to wonder what kinds of interactions with rabbits Horikoshi has had in his troubled young life so as to influence his writing of Miruko’s quirk in such a way. did you at some point get rabbits confused with... I don’t even know. polar bears?! not that I’m fucking complaining holy shit

anyway, so just a friendly reminder that if Miruko dies here I will in fact push the button which triggers the hidden ejector seat built into Horikoshi’s office chair. he will be missed. but he had a good run

ho lyyyyyyy shit

so... Miruko I love you but... then why would you break the fucking vat apart with your moon-powered legs. Miruko. Miruko are you listening. oh shit she’s missing an ear I forgot. oh shit. oh shit

MIRUKO I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BUT WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T YOU JUST KICK THE BALD MAN IN THE LAB COAT INSTEAD goddammit well it’s been nice knowing y’all

well then. so this is happening. this is really happening. at least she saved us all from having to face the 100%-charged world-ending Tomura somewhere down the line. instead all we have to do is face the 74%-charged Tomura right fucking now. so that’s. ...I wonder how Tokoyami is doing

holy shit!

leave it to Girl Noumu to be the smart one. for a minute I thought maybe Ujiko had given her Ragdoll’s long-lost quirk. but then I realized that this isn’t a quirk at all, this is just her being smart and using her Big Noumu Brain. anyway so I’m preemptively sorry for having to root against you, Girl Noumu

so now she’s pondering how to disable Aizawa’s quirk. meanwhile I just remembered that we haven’t seen her quirk yet I think. please let it be something good

oh snap she ran away and made it out of Aizawa’s sight range oh fuck

the fuck is up with this thicc fucking Girl Noumu page I can’t tell wtf is going on

LOL OH SHIT

NOT TO WORRY GUYS SHE’S JUST SHOOTING BIG GIANT GLOBS OF ACID AT EVERYONE. can anyone tell if Endeavor has incinerated this Noumu yet down in the middle panel on the left. what is the fucking holdup

and now there’s a big double page of Miruko shattering Tomura’s Noumu Vat, and I can’t quite tell, but it looks like her eyes might be rolling back in a way which I decidedly do not like

(ETA: nah on closer inspection we’re good.)

didn’t she just do this like four pages ago. and how the hell did Tomura suddenly jump from 74% to 75% in like .2 seconds

oh thank god she’s still awake. but now she’s being dragged back now by the Noumu’s bone appendage things because Endeavor SERIOUSLY CANNOT GET HIS FUCKING ACT TOGETHER LONG ENOUGH TO FUCKING LIGHT ITS BRAIN TO ASHES ALREADY, LIKE SERIOUSLY THOUGH. WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL OF THAT TALK ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING FAST AND THE DIFFERENCE A SPLIT SECOND MAKES

Miruko if we make it out of this alive, I’m promoting you to number one. Fatgum will be number two. the only two pro heroes in this arc who have actually impressed me at all. shame on the rest of you. shame

so now somehow or some way Miruko is being flung into Endeavor at the speed of light

I don’t understand this at all. did the Noumu retract those bone whips back into its body superfast while dragging Miruko back with them and somehow it managed to avoid being hit by her projectile body but Endeavor took the impact straight on. this doesn’t make any kind of sense to me with my admittedly rudimentary understanding of physics. but then again it is a fucking manga so I’m not about to call NASA and ask them if this could really happen. so this was a waste of a paragraph I guess!! my bad!!

swear to god this is like the fifth panel of Ujiko just screaming. please just stop. what do you have to be worried about anyway? although if Tomura suddenly went crazy upon awakening and just straight up killed you for no reason, that sure would be delightful! that wouldn’t happen, though. or would it

WHAT IS THIS FUCKING FISH TANK MADE OF

IS THIS A TUBE OF GLASS OR A FUCKING FALLOUT SHELTER

ENDEAVOR I’M GLAD YOU’RE CONCERNED ABOUT MIRUKO BECAUSE I AM TOO, AND ALSO IT’S ALWAYS NICE TO SEE THAT YOU DO HAVE A HEART, BUT ALSO MAYBE JUST LEAVE HER FOR NOW THOUGH, SERIOUSLY??

though on the other hand it’s already too late to stop this inevitable tide, so maybe at this point they should all just get the fuck out of there instead. at least Miruko did her fucking job and saved you all from having to face the invincible unstoppable version. that’ll be a real comfort to everyone when he’s out laying waste to the countryside, I’m sure. but still

-- oh no

the boys heard that. listen you guys, I want Ujiko to die as much as anyone, but I’m gonna need you to not go anywhere near Shigaraki fucking Tomura now or ever. please. do you hear me?? you two still have both of your ears goddammit I want some acknowledgement

-- NO!!!

(ETA: is that. a fucking Tomura dialogue bubble. something stirs in the east. a sleepless malice. the eyes of the enemy are moving.)

THE MANGA GIVETH AND THE MANGA TAKETH AWAY nooooo from 20 pages last week back down to the usual 17. I got spoiled. I expected too much. sob

so now we settle in to wait two weeks to see if Mic’s piercing tones can shatter this fucking adamantium tank like a wine glass. I’m not sure I’m ready for the Noumuraki Tomuracalpse you guys. then again by this point I’m braced for just about anything though so bring it

#bnha 268 #miruko #mirko #I finally caved and did it both ways #endeavor #aizawa shouta #present mic #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste spoiler recap #makeste reads bnha #happy easter everyone #don't mention it to horikoshi though #he's terrified of rabbits as we all know #they are vicious and unstoppable #so please treat them with respect

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paradigmaticsims · 3 years

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18th Century Pleasantview: Unhappy Marriages

Ok, that’s not really fair two of them are not necessarily unhappy but they’re not based on romantic love. This is just me setting up the same kind of thing the game tells you to do, but hopefully after that I will do more different things with these sims.

This post is like, really long, too long, its stupidly long.

......

I know I said I would go to Pascal Curious next, but then I thought of how glorious it would be to see Daniel Pleasant in a powdered wig and how could I deprive anyone reading of that?

This shot is not historical, just kinda cool looking. I will take that swimming pool away from you Daniel…. When I can be bothered to makeover the house.

So Daniel has the affair with Kaylynn and all that, Mary-Sue finds out.

Daniel apparently didn’t want that to happen and goes into aspiration decline. They’re staying together though, cause divorces are difficult for women to get and I think it’ll be more interesting this way.

Cassandra and Angela enjoying the stereo while they still can.

Then Angela and Lilith start fighting and Cassandra just keeps dancing awkwardly like the useless lesbian she is.

Now featuring proper underwear, Daniel is balding underneath the wig.

Lilith has ANGST! Which I mean, I don’t disbelieve her, her family is in shambles.

Angela and Dustin’s first kiss

Lilith sneaking out with her son of an artist bf: Lol Angela would never do this.

Me: I mean Angela’s dating a peasant (and in my mind a revolutionary) so I actually think she wins.

Lilith sneaks back and Daniel is like, right there, but they just blank each other. I guess he can’t really lecture anyone right now.

..........

Onto the Goths now! I’m in the process of actually caring about making over their house.

I like the piano shots.

Cassandra and Don’s wedding (but it’s a sham marriage that they’re both in on). I forgot I must once have had a hack that makes sims wear their formalwear instead of the default wedding gear?

Ahh I figure out how to force them into their formal wear too late, so hear is Cassandra’s ironic wedding dress, and Don’s frock coat. Mortimer and Alexander dancing is cute.

Don, Don, Don, Don… DON we have multiple baths on this lot. You married a rich sim you no longer have to wash like a poor person…. in the kitchen... in view of everyone.

Don: Hey I married a rich sim, this means I can have a sponge bath in the bathroom… wait bath what?

I like the piano, piano shots are cool.

Oh hey Don finally figured out the bath! Good for him.

This is cute, Don tucking in Alexander.

Here’s my attempt so far of trying to Georgify the Goth house, while maintaining an old and creepy vibe. I probably don’t know enough about 18th century houses but who cares it’s not like there’s enough cc out there to make it accurate to within the 1790s or something so close enough is good enough.

Cassandra embarrassed by her father marveling at the fact that rain exists.

I want to use colours in the interior design! But still colours that are unusual, or a bit sickly, something to show that the Goths are still weird.

Don is bi cause I think that makes him easier to like. He thinks the butler’s hot.

Cassandra: And once day we’ll have a baby, we’ll give it toys, and play with it and give it all the attention a child needs.

Alexander, an actual child who exists in the here and now: Wooo! Look at me I got an A+ I crave attention!

Everyone: *ignores*

..........

Random scene from the Broke house.

This will only make Dustin more acab.

..........

At Nina and Dina’s house: I forgot the burglar’s sack uses cartoon logic and is thus able to carry hot tubs.

Mortimer is awake while this happens, but just decides to dip instead. I guess when you’re rich you don’t care about poor people’s problems, even if you are dating courting one of those poor people.

Dina goes into full on meltdown over this, I don’t usually play fortune sims so I underestimated how much it would affect her.

Dina’s memory of this trauma inducing event is just ‘nice to meet you stranger’

MOOD

I wish this guy spawned in a different hood, so I could just leave his magnificent hipster aesthetic be.

..........

Back at the Goths and unfortunately my game crashed when I was playing the Goths before they hired a butler, so this time we get a new guy and he looks fun. (I would like an 18th century butler outfit default, that would be a cool thing that I have no idea how to do).

Mortimer I know you might not be the most social ques aware guy, but talking about the hotness of your new fiancé to your daughter is weird, just fyi.

To my great disappointment Don is not attracted to the new butler, which I do not get, Don are you seeing this?

I see Cassandra as being mostly gay and their marriage as mostly a sham, but she is at least bi enough to initiate trying for baby this one time. Cause sexuality on sims and in reality is more fluid and complicated than we give it credit for. Though I think she mostly just wants the baby cause maxis inexplicably made her a family sim. She’s the sims version of Wednesday Addams and they made her goal to get married and have babies? I do want her to have one kid for the sake of inheritance, but after that I’m making her a knowledge sim. Anyway despite all that I think this is a pretty picture.

I love the custom greetings.

Dina and Mortimer’s wedding, during the day and at the Goth house, cause it makes no sense for Mortimer to move in with Dina and Nina in their tiny house, wouldn’t Dina want to move in with Mortimer in his big old money house? I think she would. Plus her being in the same house with Cassandra and Don makes for maximum awkwardness.

Dina: Hey congrats on your hotness! Meanwhile Cassandra is applying far too much logic to be interesting to Nina.

Don and Cassandra have an open marriage with no jealousy set for both of them. Even so Nina just openly serenading Don right in front of Cassandra does seem a bit tactless.

On his own wedding day all the young people just ignore Mortimer.

Nina and Dina get to a point in the grief cycle where they feel it necessary to bad mouth the burglar.

Don asking the important questions: But did you… have sex with the burglar?

I forgot that reading kids to sleep was a thing you could do in game. This is cute.

Maybe Don and the butler were just meant to be bros.

The ‘Legacy Career’ is just a living off an inheritance. I 100% believe this is how rich people operate.

Cassandra, starting with how your Mum got abducted by aliens is probably not the best way to impress a girl. You ease into that.

Cassandra, who is pregnant, wet herself and then passed out and apparently these were things she was scared of so much that she hits aspiration failure. And I’m here to say that is just way too high a standard to be setting for yourself. Also the butler served people beer as food which is the real problem rn.

I like this picture, I don’t know why there’s not food when there is, but I like it. Don should get a new coat.

Look at these three queer, and mostly pregnant disasters.

I made over the butler, I took some liberties, but I mean he’s blue. I imagine he used to be a pirate. Don, I don’t understand you.

But at least he has learnt the ways of the bath.

The end. Now I have to see if I can fix some bugs.

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mcrmadness · 3 years

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Apparently I was filled with a need to do ADHD research again... but anyway:

I was wondering if there’s a big of a difference between inattentive ADHD and hyperactive ADHD in school settings, especially in classrooms? I don’t have a diagnose but I bet I have inattentive ADHD. Anyhow, I know everyone knows the stereotype of a person who cannot sit still in class. I never had that problem but I had another one: I had trouble staying awake.

Especially after I was able to decide myself when I went to sleep, I started having troubles with this at school because I always stayed up too late and in the end was basically dead during the last two or three days before weekends. But this continued to the vocational school too and actually it didn’t really matter how much or little I had slept the previous night, just the act of sitting in one place, doing nothing but listening to some boring lecture made me so tired always, and the bright lights made it even worse. I feel much better in a bit dimmed light but get extremely tired very soon when everything is bright.

That’s one of the worst feelings I know of actually. When I see everything in double because my brain wants to go to sleep and I physically have to fight against my eyelids that just try to close. Meanwhile I’m sitting in a CLASSROOM. I used to drink coffee before theory classes in vocational school just to make it easier for me to keep my eyes open. Which usually didn’t even help much, I just was sweating even more than normally (I have exessive sweating) and felt anxious.

About sleeping: I had lots of problems with falling asleep as a kid. A while back I asked my mom if I had troubles with that and her answer was very strong “YES!” And I can remember some of that myself too, I always used to roll in bed for some time before falling asleep ans I hated it. I often come up with imaginary games for myself, e.g. I dug myself under my sheets and sometimes even under the whole mattress and played that I had been buried alive. Just to kill some time as I wasn’t allowed to turn on the lights anymore because it was too late and I needed to sleep.

Nowadays I never go to bed if I’m not sure I can fall asleep soon. I just hate rolling in my bed so so so so so much. It often makes me to fall asleep much much later than what I’d do if I just stayed up until I feel tired. I also have the problem when enough sleep in one night makes me stay awake for longer than what would be my “bedtime”. E.g. when I was working and at school, if I got 8 hours of sleep, then that day I would not get tired early enough so the next night I would get only maybe 5-6 hours of sleep. And then I was sleep deprived but not able to go to bed early enough because I already got used to the later bedtime from the previous night. And people just can’t understand why can’t I keep up a normal sleeping schedule. Well, if my brain insist and just decides to sleep for 12 hours, I tell you that I in NO WAY will be tired after 12 hours. That means staying up at least 15-20 hours before I’m tired for another time. Also, it means that the bedtime moves forward with HOURS.

I almost forgot what was the thing I originally wanted to say here but: I just tried to google about this and I just again get articles saying things like “put the child in the classroom somewhere where there’s as little distractions as possible” and like, that’s not what I asked for???

I talked about this with my mom too recently because my psychiatrist keeps telling me I don’t have ADHD because I wasn’t adhd enough as a kid, so I have tried asking my mom if there was anything that would count as a symptom nowadays. She said that I had so much trouble focusing on my homework, I hated them and especially maths was difficult for me until one day something just clicked and suddenly I could do maths. But the homework... yes I had problems with that and my mom said she asked even from school what to do about it and they just suggested that the table should be clean from any items. And my mom was like “Are you serious? All they need is a pen and paper and the distraction is ready!”

Anyhow, long post is long but whatever.

#mcrmadness' random stuff #adhd #adhd inattentive

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evening-blossoms · 4 years

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So um. I'm a total idiot and forgot an entire day of my own challenge. I was gonna keep it that way since nobody had noticed but... that day was something I'd wanted to talk about for a while so...

Welcome to the very late and out-of-schedule day 10 of my SGE Challenge

Characters I would rewrite

Buckle down cause oooooh boy do I have shit to say - and because of this I'll be deviating from what I usually do and write a rant post instead! Given I don't want to make a way too long post, I'll simply go over a brief explanation of why they're in the list and what I'd change.

Kei of Foxwood (tw: drugging mention)

So this fucking asshole here apparently will get a redemption arc uh. I Actually already talked about this in this post I submitted but I will go over it again because it was kinda poorly worded imo (especially because it was written by sleep-deprived me at 3am)

Which is poorly driven given it starts with "Oh No! My beloved Rhian is dead, what shall be of me without my dear?". No. A good redemption arc should start with "Fuck I did something terrible and genuinly regret this and want to work on becoming a better person and fixing the mess I've made." Also, seems like Kei's form of redemption will be death and no, he should live with the consequences of what he's done.

Speaking of which - his redemption will also feel like an insult to the readers because seriously? He's way past redemption point for me now. He already was from QFG when he drugged Dot (which was something quite unecessary and Soman used an Extremely complicated and sensitive topic for the sake of shock value - but that's a whole new rabbit hole I'm not jumping into right now). And in ACOT he follows Rhian's orders which include attacking practically defenseless teenagers

So with that in mind, I'd either have Kei die the piece of shit he is or rewrite his arc from QFG in order to make a good redemption. First, erase that part with Dot and find another way to get to the keys. Again, it was an act that can be considered violence against women written down just for shock value. Given we do not have other scenes with Kei (except for the dungeons one), I'll leave it that for QFG.

In ACOT, start on his very first actual scene - the dinner scene. Have him hesitant on following Rhian's orders there, and perhaps hint it goes a bit deeper than hesitance. Then escalate it to him openly challenging Rhian's orders during that moment before the Blessing. The attack on SGE would be the first moment we see a greater act from him - maybe somehow going behind Rhian's back to stop that attack??? His last scene in the book is during the carriage ride with Sophie - when Kei tells her he's been going behind Rhian's back to stop the attacks he was able to, and knew he had to fix he'd made when he locked Tedros in the dungeons back in QFG. He agrees to help her somehow - but it goes terribly wrong when Japeth survives.

I myself still need to see a bit more how that could be well executed but that's the basic idea - have Kei's actions start from much earlier and have doing the right thing as motivation, not his love for Rhian - if anything, that should be a source of struggle.

Hort of Bloodbrook

This is can be either a rewrite of his own arc or a rewrite of the light he's written in.

He is a Nice Guy tm. Lets not try to pretend he isn't because he is.

He spends the entire first trilogy obssessing over Sophie, and acting entitled to her because he's a guy who's "genuine and truthful" or what so ever. Sure, Sophie might not be a perfect innocent girl and she did treat people who cared for her like shit at times, but that doesn't change the fact she never liked him. And even though she was wrong in parading him around like a "suitor" when trying to win Tedros' attention, she never again makes mention to liking Hort, or wanting to date him, or what so ever, and honestly, good for her! You should never date someone just because they have feelings for you.

Liking someone doesn't make you entitled to having them, and it doesn't make them obligated to like you back. And this what Hort can't understand. And not to mention he acts pretty sexist during the School Years:

"Every time he was free of rivals for Sophie’s attention, they always returned, more meddling than ever. Why couldn’t these toads mind their own business? Or die like Rafal did? True, he’d had Sophie to himself these past six months, but most of that was spent waiting out her I’m-an-Independent-Woman phase..." Quests for Glory, chapter 9: "Who Would Want a Hort?"

And also later during ACOT, in which he treats Nicola pretty badly

“Not bad enough, whatever it is,” Hort’s voice said, hijacking the demon. “He got us into this mess by fawning over Rhian like a lovedrunk girl.”

“Oh, so being a ‘girl’ is an insult now?” Nicola’s voice ripped, the demon suddenly looking animated in agreement. (A Crystal Of Time, chapter 5: Sophie's Choice)

There are other examples but I don't want to digress so this is how Hort is. I'd like to rewrite him into a person who had a immature crush on a girl and bent over backwards to get her attention - all of this a product of his own insecurity - but that grows out of it and in the process, also into a mature person who's confident in himself.

Also, in case someone doesn't understand: the problem isn't a crush. Having crushes is totally normal and ok, and so is not having them! The problem is when your crush over someone becomes nearly obssessive because of your immaturity and inner problems.

And as I was gonna talk about the light Hort's written in: all of this bullshit, and he's written as the nice underdog who we are supposed to root for. Soman keeps romanticizing him and that kind of behavior and that's terrible. So I'd either change Hort's behavior or write him in the light of what it truly is.

Rhian of Foxwood

Honestly? I liked him as a villain. I have no problem with him believing he was doing Good - in fact, I liked it! It's a good contrast to the previous villains, who knew they were Evil, wanted to be this way and took pride in it.

What I would change are just two things: one is that last kiss scene with Sophie during chapter 25 of ACOT, since it was absolute bullshit after all the shit he did to her which I don't feel the need to list - we all know it.

Second thing, I'd have made him a seer! Soman missed a huge potential when he made Rhian a Sader without giving him the seer abilities. That whole "Third Mysterious Pen" deal was unecessary, and it could be replaced by Rhian's visions.

And guys, come on - EVIL SEER IS A DOPE CONCEPT.

Nicola of Woods Beyond

Don't get me wrong, I love Nicola - and this is kind of why she's in this list, actually.

She's an amazing character - bookworm represent! She's also one of the few poc representation this book has, so I like it went to someone as amazing and smart as Nic.

So for that I think Nicola should have been explored more. She's usually put as background character and only brought up when it's convenient - she's basically plot device. Which sucks because again, she's awesome. I'd have explored her ability to apply what she learns in stories to real-life issues a bit more, and paired her up with Agatha more times! Both are brilliant girls and I feel Agatha was at times dumbed down so Nicola could solve the problems, and honestly, I hate it when a character is dimmed so the other can shine.

So I'd have put them together - Agatha, experienced and quick-thinker, and Nicola, an extremely smart girl who doesn't really have half the experience Agatha has in the Woods. They both learn from each other - it's a deal of teacher (Agatha) learning from the student (Nicola).

And allow me to push the Nicphie agenda here - I'd totally expand her relation with Sophie - explored their feelings going from mutual hatred to mutual respect to liking each other to very lesbian love. The Best enemies to lovers.

Also, SOMAN WHAT WAS THAT OF CAVING IN THE SCHOOL FOR EVIL AND SADER TELLING THE DEANS TO ACCEPT HER I DEMAND EXPLANATIONS

And lastly I'd remove the Hicola part super unecessary lmao

So that's it! I actually have some more to talk about but I didn't know how to word it properly and I don't want to make a super long post lmao. I might make a part two of this, but separate for the challenge!

I apologize for the disruption in schedule, I legit forgot day 10 lmao. I'll be doing Day 13 tomorrow so hopefully everything will go back to normal!

#long post #sge rants #the school for good and evil #school for good and evil #sge #sge challenge #day 10 #im an idiot lmao #kei of foxwood #nicola of woods beyond #rhian of foxwood #hort of bloodbrook #tw drug mention

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bilgisticallykosher · 5 years

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Reminder that I’m totally down to give specific warnings or descriptions or help people navigate through the video if anyone needs.

Warnings (aside from the obvious): Long post, lots of caps lock, long rambling with a large degree of incoherence. I titled this “me screaming at the new video” in docs. I was real accurate. It took me over 2 hours to watch this thing because I kept pausing to not shut up. This is 5 pages in docs.

Okay, JUST looking at the cover, I- are those tentacles? IS this a new side? Octoside? I can already hear all the names were going to give him. Oliver, Octavio, October wait no that’s already a Sanders shorts. Okay, intrusive thoughts, that's… Roman’s already a supplier of those. Fandom agrees, “Don’t think about your naked Aunt Patty.” So, maybe Depression? Anger? Or, is it Roman still, after all? Because I see the word Creativity there. Or tentaclereativity. So it’s still Roman, but I’m convinced that his opposite is Virgil, although I’m also sure that they implied Pride in the Halloween episode. Something about “proud of it” and then they said “let’s table that discussion for another time.”

Ugh, Roman’s been doing so wonderful on his own. He’s just been owning up to insecurities, and it’s been great. This is going to be highly related to him. Although, Patton looks like the one trying to block him out? Roman’s concerned, Logan’s miffed, Virgil is angry, and oh my god is that a MOUSTACHE OKAY I’M WATCHING.

Content warning, oh my gosh, they were not kidding. Does that seriously say death and blood and gore? I’m just getting more hype. I mean, intrusive thoughts, I’m sure nothing will permanently, physically happen to them. (Goodbye Fresh.)

Dark circles under Thomas’s eyes, implication of sleep deprivation, or something with Virgil?

“The human connection will make me feel more like a person,” I came here to have a good time and honestly I’m feeling so attacked right now. Credits! Great job everyone! I know everyone worked real hard on this.

Okay, Thomas in his robe, very reminiscent of Excepting Anxiety. Blasé attitude, too. Hmm, trouble sleeping (tires), overstating ‘everything going wrong,’ definitely seems like Virgil’s territory.

Woah there he is. He’s, he’s really angry? And Patton’s voice is strained. What is happening, does Patton know……whatever, or WHOever? Yeah, he’s shifty eyed. He knows. Virgil definitely knows, and it’s not him. Oh man oh man. Oh, confirmed, they’re in on trying to avoid the conversation. GREAT TEAM WORK, PAT! Doing great, buddy.

Roman’s rhymes are amazing. Definitely misery, though. Alright, so Thomas is having thoughts that make Virgil act up, and either he’s telling Patton, or Patton knows because of emotions.

Roman’s so much better at summoning than Logan. And Logan knows?! Ooh, sore spot for them here. Patton oh noooo. That’s easy for you to say?

I love the idea that, 1, Logan Falsehood’d as a reaction and an example on purpose, and 2, that he’s got a limit of one per day.

ALRIGHT! I’ve got it. They don’t want Roman to know because he’s going to, intentionally or not, expand on whatever the thoughts are. He’s Creativity and dreams, it’s what he does and he’s not going to be able to help it, intrusive thoughts, this IS Roman-centric! Poor boy. (Kraken, sushi. Those tentacles mean something. Also the tentacle represents the C, I understand the title image now.) Yeah, they don’t want him inadvertently going into daydream mode.

I have never seen this movie. These are freaking top-notch jokes, though. WOAH, THOMAS. Not good. Really not good. I’m still hype. Oh, is that the sort of death mention that

Television: [has hands]

Me: [strangled squeaking noise]

Okay, I’m having, okay. Okay. Okay. I’m fine. I just. I need. Okay. I’m fine. Need a moment. Freaking out, in, a good way? I just. Really unexpected, even though I saw the hands. Oh my gosh. Can the others see him????? Because they’re looking at Roman they should see him. I didn’t know I could make that noise, but apparently I can. And I can hold it. And make it slowly go higher pitched. Okay. Okay. I’m fine now. Maybe. Okay. Hypening.

OH THEY CAN okay, oh dissonant voice. What sort of overdramatic staff is this dork NO ROMAN.

THE DUKE?! WHAT!!! Getting heavy Warfstache vibes, btw, and why does he have a grey streak? Virgil and Logan are unconcerned about Roman, so I guess he’s fine.

Is this a song? What is his outfit, omg. His mustache is fabulous. His eyes are kinda ringed. in purple?

What is happening, oh my god. Oh here’s the religious commentary, I guess. This is fine, I’m okay with this. But he’s playing Adam AND Eve himself. Dramatic dork confirmed. Oooh, you lack imagination. He IS Roman’s opposite, dang. I was so sure it was Virgil. Also YES green’s my favorite color!

Hahaaaa! Tiny little aunt Patty naked post-it! Patton’s so distressed, Virgil ANGERY. A to Z is incredible. I missed some lyrics there; I’ll catch it when I watch it with captions the next five times. I mean, uh, no, I’d never… ten times. Nice blood spatter! What is he doing to them! What’s with the size thing? Is that a thing he can do? Or creative (heh) liberty due to song?

SNAKE how’d I not guess that from Adam and Chava SNAKE IT’S SNAKE!

I don’t get the hand image. What is that? So far kind of the same sort of vibe from Deceit and Duke- oooh, both Ds. The whole, own up to who you are, stop lying to yourself.

“You’ve got a fiend in me!” “Squeak!”

Oh, oh no, he’s really not quite like Deceit. He’s saying that these things make Thomas evil. Definitely not a Deceit thing to do.

EDITING PRAISE! YOU GUYS. You guys are incredible, you did such a good job.

“I’m your Creativity!” Officially calling those things fart trumpets.

Oh, is he actually Creativity? Okay I’ll roll with it. Oh my gosh it’s only ten minutes into it and I can’t shut up. Virgil is so uncomfortable.

Never bring [Jeffery Dahmer] up again got a GREAT face from Duke. Oh man. Is that true about him trying to repress those thoughts?

WHITE BEAR that episode of Black Mirror might make more sense now.

Impressive hair blowing from Virgil, that’s the hair blowing equivalent of what Dr. Horrible did with his fingers in Brand New Day.

Patton called Roman handsome, and I knew that second most handsome prince bit in the last episode was something he’d say, not just him trying to be all lawyer-y! (Ooh, foreboding music…)

Honestly, Logan was, if anything, even more chill about lying in CLBG, and Deceit in general (his scales are quite smooth). By comparison, he’s going off on the Duke. OOH, I KNEW THAT ABOUT THE WORD DORK!

Ohhh my gosh the costumes are opposites! I, almost realized that, about color theory, and then forgot about the sash. And those shoulder pads are massive, Duke! Did you steal Roman’s puppet chin to make those?

Joan! Haha, I love it, definitely something they would do. Interesting, you can hear an overlay of Joan’s voice, and Duke’s voice. Why can’t the Duke do it as well as anyone else? What did Virgil realize during the twin explanation? Hey, Cayin and Hevel, more Genesis.

Did he mention friends and family? Oh my gosh, self-immolation is terrible, I looked it up. Like, uh, suicide for a public purpose, or to make a point?

Laugh! Dork laugh! There’s the implication of them knowing each other.

Oh, okay, okay. So, Virgil’s anxious, because in and of itself, whatever it was that he was thinking/obsessing over was bad. His anxiety is, well, cognitive distortions. That’s why everyone’s all bothered. Yeah, point to Logan on that oh my god, what is that camera angle, I love it.

Duke is JP confirmed. Ripped off nipples. JP from Wade’s (lordminion777) circle of friends, salty boys. That’s still their official name, right? Anyway, he’s JP.

Oh, I saw dripping off of that hand. That sequence is getting longer every time.

Who are those, I don’t recognize them? “I’m about to smash the Hulk” you guys I think I love the Duke a little bit a lot.

Patton, no, that’s- Patton! “That’s what repression is?” Ooh, tense Virgil moment with Logan. Yet, also touching?

“Well THAT can’t be where the bar is.” !!!

Weird Duke blink during religion talk. It’s so funny looking at this though a Jewish perspective. It’s similar, but just a little off. And we don’t do the 7 deadly sins thing.

Figuratively!

Wait it’s coming from Virgil?! Uh, uh, anxious about being a bad person, subconsciously projecting it onto Thomas?

Patton too?! Oh, wait, yeah, this comes back to repression that makes sense. Oh my gosh, Logan. ! Can the Duke do the Deceit silence thing oh no, no he can’t. Close. Teeth are an improvement I think.

Hey isn’t there an incorrect quote about Virgil drinking shampoo?

Remus?! Oh my gosh are you KIDDING me? A new side, PLUS his name? Oh, oh that’s so clever, Roman. Rome was founded by Romulus and Remus. So clever! And definitely butt trumpets, from earlier, because AVPM’s Lupin had butt trumpets.

Oh, direct shot and reaction at Virgil not hiding anything. And okay, I’ve changed my mind like 10 times, but I think I get it now. Haha, Logan! It was like a pop quiz! And Thomas cursed!

The scream darkened the room, that was awesome. But nobody cared. Ah, secretly a Patton and Virgil arc!

Oh my god, Patton had a look of realization when Virgil was listing off things, is he going to tell him to not skip the callback?!

[Sad poopy noises.] Logan’s on fire today! Yes!

Oh, he’s gone? Ha, nope! Oh it got worse, haha!

Patton, control, it’s happening! Oh, wait no.

Virgil really used to fear him? And, oh, what were those exchanged looks during “just like old times”? Logan and Patton, and maybe Roman figured it out? Does Virgil know that?

Roman!

Nerdy Wolverine. Ahh, cool! Dukey problem! Oooh return of “I don’t like him.”

What, brother?! So that’s an actual thing now? But okay, alright, I guess Logan’s thing from before. NOPE EVERYTHING’S FINE NEVER COMING BACK. Romaaaaan.

Dark sides? “Others.” Oh, Thomas for sure doesn’t know. Oh dear. OH MUSIC it’s swelling oh my gosh, he’s going to tell, he’s going to tell. Gasp! He told, and oh, so sad, and oh no he’s just sinking out?! My poor baby little precious oh I immediately see why Patton had a problem with coddling him.

Oh, oh Thomas is so confuddled. There’s going to be so many angst fics. I will read them all.

Alright, actually a hilarious ad. Way to incorporate intrusive thoughts into it! END CARD holy- REMUS! Oh the deodorant. And again. Nice knife, he’s going to- yep, deodorant. Oh he’s done, but he’ll have another- yep. What the heck is it, actually?

THERE’S A SNAKE IN MY BUTT! PFF that’s going to be some fics also. Officially: I love Remus.

Final thoughts; I’m in love, I was so wrong about “they wouldn’t throw a new side or plot relevance at us with all these warnings,” everyone freaking outdid themselves, this must have happened so soon after Selfishness vs. Selflessness, I love him, I really dug a lot of that humor, my taste in music is way worse than anything Remus threw at us (ask me about that), WHAT WERE THE THOUGHTS with the dripping hand bit, S v. S part 2 is definitely the next one, and I freaking love this video.

#ts spoilers #virgils sanders #thomas sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #the dark side of creativity #remus sanders #B/k's babbling #long post #sanders sides #new video reaction

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folerdetdufoler · 5 years

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about a minute after i pulled away from my house on tuesday i realized i forgot my pink face paint but it was already too late to turn around. doing something like that would cause the dominoes of delays to topple and i wouldn’t actually make my flight. for that sacrifice i was rewarded smooth travel, but that meant my friday was a little less...fredag-y. alas.

i woke up for the sunrise again, and was rewarded with a mostly clear sky. the weather was turning out better than expected, which was good because i was planning on some walking today. the night before jenn invited me to ett bord for lunch, so that was my first scheduled event for the day, but i had some stops i wanted to make for personal, skam-related reasons.

after a leisurely breakfast i got dressed and applied sunscreen. then i messaged with nadège to figure out where to meet up on my way to nissen. i wanted to visit the national gallery, even though it was closed, as just a final nod to the museum that inspired rule of seven. we managed to message a firm meet up and then completely miss each other on the street, but we got our shit together eventually and made it to the museum. it was a little sad, if only because another tourist came up to us asking where the entrance was, and we had to break the news that the museum was closed at that location. granted, it was probably confusing seeing us taking pictures of the building as if it were still an active site, but still less confusing than the instructions i tried to give them about visiting the new museum in 2020 (uhhhh wtf kerry).

we moved on. we went to the school for no reason other than to step back into that world for a little bit, check up on the benches. we went to the KB for a drink, and then walked to the restaurant. i’m glossing over most of this because a lot of what was said during this time made me uncomfortable, and it all kind of built up over the next few hours until i snapped at lunch. i didn’t speak out or anything, i just capslocked on twitter once and then tried to tune everyone out. for some reason the restaurant was playing exclusively ed sheeran songs, so i just listened to that instead. i plucked heads and exoskeletons off of shrimp and drowned myself in lukewarm pop music.

the food was good. it was the first time i’d eaten shrimp like that. i don’t know what i was expecting, ordering “norwegian shrimp,” but that was exactly what it was and i shouldn’t have been so shocked. but in general i powered through.

after lunch i went back to the hotel to change before the park. i didn’t have my face paint but i was going to wear a skirt because it was robyn and apparently “one step up from the bare minimum” is my love language. i fell asleep at some point in my preparations, and woke up with my thumb still scrolling through instagram. then i was late, and missed seeing girl in red. but i found my girls as they migrated to the next stage, and was blessed with an absolutely electric performance from christine and the queens. it was another artist i’d never listened to before but i instantly regretted that; she blew us away with her energy and attitude and message, pumping out songs that your heart somehow already knew. it was a good mood-lifter, which i sorely needed after that afternoon.

okay well hold the phone because it’s been weeks since i started writing this post and i definitely lost my train of thought. after christine and the queens we went to get food. after we found a table to sit at, jenni, taru, and kati found us to do some hilarious candy trades. i was not aware of how valuable reese’s are overseas. but the point of mentioning this is that i was being wildly rude to these women because i was not sure who they were, and thus acted very cold. jenn had actually introduced me to jenni the day before and i simply did not connect her to the person i had chatted with online, someone i already knew. so i just compartmentalized them into “oh these are jenn’s friends” and kept myself out of their conversations. it’s kind of a generally rude thing to do, to shut myself off instead of trying to integrate with small talk, but here it was extra rude because i seemed to be ignoring the fact that we’d already “met.” gah! also i’m not sure when i finally connected the dots, but it was late enough to feel deep embarrassment about it and not really figure out how to apologize about it. so i didn’t. i think i tried to be more friendly when we met up the next day but knowing me i probably wasn’t. anyway, i apologize both for how i acted and for not acknowledging it/apologizing for it in person. i usually have a good reason for being rude, but this time it was just...insecurities? ugh.

okay so...the rest of the evening was just ROBYN. we tended to always gather around the same location, stage right, not too close but decently close because i fucking flew to oslo for this. and with every successive evening, the crowds were packed in tighter and more likely to dance. i was still trying to get used to the general lack of personal space but pretty early on i just gave up trying to stand my ground, letting people push past me and not worrying about who i was pushing in return. like, no one was going to win the fight for whatever little patch of grass you were standing on.

it was also an interesting experience as someone who is very aware of how much space she takes up in this world (too much!), being forced to acknowledge that constantly by the pressure of other people against my front and back. it didn’t help that i was wearing a backpack. but most of the time i can ignore that “bigness” by only being in spaces that allow me to fit with ample air around me. (the closest i get to other people these days is my airplane seat.) at a general admission concert though, that doesn’t exist. so i would sing and dance and think about weighing 237 pounds. i don’t know if it was necessarily a bad thing, just a new thing, and it was probably actually good to have that constant awareness, to shrink my comfort zone. i dunno. the real fight was me going back and forth thinking “i wish i took up less space” and “you deserve as much space as any other human being.”

clearly the problem with waiting a month to write a travel recap is that it actually becomes a therapy session about things that could’ve been figured out back in the states. so let’s really move on to robyn. leading up to the festival i’d been lazily following robyn’s tour, watching her play new york city twice and eating up every fan video of “dancing on my own,” where she let the crowd sing it for her simply because they were going to anyway. i was so excited to finally be part of that crowd, to hear the music like that, in my bones. and i did.

i tried to get my picture-taking out of the way at the beginning, because all i needed was one clear photo that could prove i was there. i don’t think i actually got it, but the important thing was i put my phone away and just enjoyed the music for most of her set. i had it ready to go when her two hits started, of course, but robyn, of all of the artists i’d seen, seemed most focused on creating an atmosphere for everyone to just be in. we had billowing curtains and sensual dancers that moved the air around us, which moved us too. we all were encased in lace with ribbons in our hair.

at some point i noticed a guy off to my right who was holding his plastic cup, the reusable one meant for the festival, and it was lit up. he had turned on his camera’s flashlight and was amplifying it through the bottom of the cup. i thought it was very clever and was impressed, wishing i could pause the concert to get enough space to retrieve my cup from my backpack and join him. i wanted to sway and hold up my lighter too.

i think i pointed it out to nadège in that pantomime way, just trying to direct her eyes away from the stage and hoping she’d figure the rest out on her own. she, of course, was already aware, because she then pointed out everyone else at the concert doing the same thing. i don’t know why i didn’t see it before, why i thought only this one guy was doing it, but the rest of the joint was lit up like a candlelight vigil. (looking back at the video i took during her bows, i’m realizing i simply didn’t see it because i’m too fucking short. i had to hold my phone up over my head to see the rest of the crowd beyond the border wall of shoulders around me.) she had the whole crowd at her feet, keeping watch, sending out electro-pop prayers.

i got what i came for. i got the rush of nostalgia for bånder, the single, freeing heartbeat of everyone dancing on their own, and the press of bodies to remind you you’re not actually alone. i was in oslo, the lights were blue, and i felt the pulse that’s been keeping me company ever since the clip dropped. as uncomfortable as my body might’ve been, my heart felt like it was where it belonged.

ugh that was some purple ass writing right there. and now i have to follow it up with “and then i walked back to the hotel.” because i did. i opened a new tab on my computer, and like it’s been doing for the past nearly-three years, it directed to the skam homepage. tap, tap, scroll, and then bånder was playing, chris was dancing, and isak and even were learning what electricity felt like with just a single point of eye contact.

then i was probably too buzzed to fall asleep for another couple of hours which is always a good life choice when you’re already severely sleep deprived. but when i did eventually nod off, i did so knowing that isak and even were on their way to falling in love, and an entire park had felt it too.

#kerryinoslo #rule of seven #i’m sure more stuff actually happened but i’ve been putting off writing for so long it’s now forgotten #it was a pretty emotional day #and i learned some things about myself

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danfanciesphil · 6 years

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Give Me A Try (New Chapter)

Gay Instagram Model/Bartender Phan AU Part 3

(Part One)

(Part Two)

(Read on Ao3!)

Dan’s in the middle of his break, scrolling through his phone, when a text notification appears at the top of his screen. He drops his bagel into his lap, cursing.

The text is from Phil. He doesn’t know any other Phil’s, so it has to be AmazingPhil, texting him, inexplicably.

He clicks the notification, eyes wide, simultaneously scooping up the bagel bits that have fallen onto his knees.

From: Phil To: Dan im in makeup for a weird photoshoot for some korean clothing brand and they just put loads of silver goo in my hair to make it chromey

As Dan is reading the message, searching between the lines for a reason Phil might be telling him this information, another text pings through.

From: Phil To: Dan whoops, i kinda meant to send that to PJ. but hey, if you’re interested, here’s a pic of me with ‘Kpop Idol Silver Hair Paste’ in lol xx

From: Phil To: Dan [image]

The phone slips from Dan’s fingers, clattering through his legs to the floor of the staff room. Phil has sent him a selfie. An un-edited, un-Instagrammed photo of his breathtaking face, up close. Sure, there’s a weird silvery goop in his usually raven hair, but still. Gingerly, Dan retrieves the phone, a small, strangled sound escaping from his throat as he surveys the image in front of him.

It makes a little more sense now that Phil has informed him that he had actually mistakenly texted the original message, but did the guy really have to follow up with a photo? He must, surely, be aware of Dan’s crush. He witnessed the brunt of Dan’s obsessive stalking in person on his phone, after all.

Bagel entirely forgotten, Dan just stares down into the pixelated blue of Phil Lester’s eyes, wondering how to respond, and if he even should. Deciding eventually that it would be rude not to, Dan shakily types out something he hopes is vaguely witty.

From: Dan To: Phil hahaha wow :’) kpop? more like kpoop. (it looks like bird poop, sorry dude.) x

From: Phil To: Dan hahaha it does ur so right. and if you think thats bad you should see the outfits… xx

Settling back into his chair, Dan bites his lip. As he thinks of a potential response, his eyes wander over to the spot, just to the right of him, where he and Phil had stood not long ago, when it had seemed like maybe, possibly, Phil might’ve…

But obviously that’s absurd.

Dan’s wishful thinking had clearly driven him to the point of hallucination, because the very notion that Phil Lester, AmazingPhil, the famous Instagram model, would ever have looked at Dan as anything more than a random bartender, is laughable.

Dan sighs to himself, then smirks. Well, just because he has no chance, doesn’t mean he can’t utilise his semi-connection to the celebrity to get some behind-the-scenes footage of his fave.

From: Dan To: Phil well now i have to see x

There’s a noticeable pause, and Dan wonders, panicking vaguely, if he may have pushed too far. Is it a little much to ask this of Phil? Maybe he just won’t respond, and Dan will have to quit his job forever, or maybe just spend his shifts on red alert that Phil will wander into the bar, and hide from him if he does-

He texts back.

From: Phil To: Dan [image]

From: Phil To: Dan hot, right? xx

For two long, uninterrupted minutes, Dan is frozen. Then, he lets out a muffled groan of frustration. The photo Phil sent is a full body shot taken by someone else; he’s dressed in an asymmetrical long white t-shirt with several long rips through the chest, some bright pink camouflage trousers, and a shiny silver puffer jacket with a black fur-lined hood. The outfit is a complete disaster, but it doesn’t matter in the slightest. His chest is visible through the slits in the tee; having seen it twice now IRL, Dan is drawn to the slivers he can see. The trousers make his eyes pop, and the jacket matches the silver streaked through his hair.

His pose is casual, feet apart, smirking at the camera, with his hands gesturing to his body as if to say ‘see what i mean?’. If he’d posted this on his Instagram, Dan gets the feeling he’d have saved it to his camera roll anyway, maybe even made it his phone background.

Dan’s done that with a few of his favourite photos of Phil in the past. He won’t even dwell on the time when Phil posted a photo of himself in the bath and Dan, in a semi-sleep-deprived fit of insanity, printed the photo out and stuck it on his wall.

Tyler came over once, weeks later, saw the photo taped above Dan’s bed, and tore the thing down. He’d told Dan, quite rightly, to stop being such a creep and keep his crazed obsessive behaviour to social media like everyone else.

“Who even has physical photos these days?? You’re like a fucking serial killer!”

Dan chuckles at this memory. He’s glad for Tyler, sometimes, even if he’s only good for keeping Dan’s stalkerish behaviour within the realms of normalcy.

Belatedly, he realises it’s been over five minutes and he still hasn’t responded to Phil. Also, his break is close to being over.

From: Dan To: Phil woww. please, phil of the future, tell me what life is like in 2087 x

From: Phil To: Dan stawwp. i keep laughing out loud at what ur saying and now the designer is sending me death glares :’’’D xx

Trying hard to ignore the fact that his dorky jokes are apparently literally making Phil ‘lol’, Dan checks the time, and sighs, typing out another message.

From: Dan To: Phil is the designer a martian? or maybe secretly one of those reptile-people? maybe skin him just to be safe. also my break is over so i gtg. have fun on set of NASA’s moonlanding recreation x

From: Phil To: Dan aww ur at work too? that sux. i forgot that u work at night lol. hope u stay dry this evening ;) xx

From: Dan To: Phil speaking of… why are u at work? isnt it kind of late for a photoshoot? x

From: Phil To: Dan well its 8am here so no haha xx

From: Dan To: Phil where are you? x

From: Phil To: Dan seoul :) hence the… unusual fashion lol xx

Dan’s eyebrows shoot up his forehead. He stands from his chair, throws his half eaten bagel in the trash, and looks around himself. He’s in the staff room - a small, dusty space with a row of falling apart lockers, a couple of chairs and a small table. There’s a hook on the wall which holds a load of unused aprons, and a rusty heater for when it’s especially cold.

He’s about to go back out to serve a load of rowdy customers some overpriced cocktails, then mop a dancefloor sticky with sweat, alcohol, and whatever other liquids might have found their way there. Then, he’s going to go back to his crummy flat way across in Kemptown, unfold his sofabed, and fall asleep to Netflix.

Phil, on the other side of the world in Korea, is having his hair, makeup and wardrobe done by professionals. He’s being treated like a celebrity, no doubt, and pampered excessively. Later, he’ll receive high-definition, professional photographs of himself looking gorgeous, and post them to his Instagram, where millions of people will tell him how stunning he looks.

Dan sighs to himself. How the other half lives.

The following day, Dan wakes up to find that Phil has updated his Instagram story, and posted the photo with the silver goo in his hair. The same one he’d sent to Dan. The caption reads:

Not sure silver hair was a good idea! The designer was going for Kpop, but ended up with Kpoop… can’t wait to show you guys the photos from this shoot! xx

Two things cross Dan’s mind.

First, Dan can now officially state that he had a sneak-peek at an official AmazingPhil photo before it was posted.

Second, the bitch totally stole his joke.

He smiles to himself ruefully, then decides to leave a comment. There’s no way that Phil will even see it - he’s never seen any of Dan’s others, or at least Dan sincerely hopes he hasn’t, as they’re mostly things like ‘choke me’ or ‘slap me round the face with your yaoi hands dad’.

Okay, maybe he tends to leave those sorts of comments when he’s less than sober.

This time, Dan just taps out a simple:

danisnotonfire: joke stealing is a low form of theft phil smh ;)

Still smiling to himself, Dan rolls over onto his side, and settles in to watch Phil’s story. The stories are usually long, silly, and full of adorable clips of Phil being clumsy and cute. As expected, this one is no exception. It’s a tour of Phil’s hotel room in Seoul, which is very posh.

Phil exclaims over the origami hand towels on his bed, the robe provided for him in the wardrobe, and the multiple options on the ‘disco shower’ as he calls it. Just as Dan is marvelling at the panoramic shot Phil has filmed of his view from the balcony, a notification pings at the top of his screen.

amazingphil replied to your comment: joke stealing is…

Dan sits bolt upright in bed, the sheets falling off him. He runs a hand through his messy hair, eyes wide. He clicks the notification before it disappears, heart pounding.

Oh no, oh no, oh no. Dan hadn’t intended for him to actually see. What if Phil thinks he’s being rude? He doesn’t actually mind Phil stealing his stupid joke about the hair goo. It’s an honour, if anything, that Phil finds his dumb joke good enough to post as a caption millions of people will read.

Heart thrumming, Dan finds the response Phil left.

danisnotonfire: joke stealing is a low form of theft phil smh ;)

amazingphil: @danisnotonfire aha i was kinda hoping you wouldn’t see ;D

Another notification pings at the top of his screen.

amazingphil started following you

“Holy shit,” Dan says to nobody.

amazingphil liked your photo

“Fuck,” Dan squeaks, clutching his pillow for support. “Stop it Phil, I’m gonna have a heart attack.”

Curious, Dan clicks the last notification, wondering which photo it was that Phil pressed the little heart for. To his surprise, it’s a selfie, one he took at work around a month ago. He took it during a lull between serving, if he remembers correctly. The lighting hadn’t been awful when he was doing his hourly fringe check in his phone camera, so he’d snapped a pic. It’s nothing special, just a moody expression and a wash of pink lighting across one half of his face.

amazingphil commented on your photo

amazingphil: nice pout ;) xx

Dan falls back into the pillows, mind obliterating itself into a thousand, tiny pieces.

Over the next few weeks, Dan has several text conversations with Phil. They’re usually started by Phil himself, who will - out of what Dan assumes is boredom - sometimes send him a random meme, a musing about his surroundings, or a selfie. For obvious reasons, Dan prefers the latter.

No matter how many times Phil reaches out via text, the surreality of it never fails to send Dan’s mind freewheeling. It always knocks the wind out of his lungs, it always makes him stop dead in his tracks, and it always leaves him struggling to recover for the next few hours. Whenever this happens at work, Tyler never fails to tease him mercilessly.

“Whoops! Please excuse him, sir, his mind has been blended by a single text from his crush,” Tyler tells a customer the fifth time Dan drops a glass behind the bar.

Dan scowls at his friend, but doesn’t try to defend himself. It’s true, after all. One text from Phil has him behaving like a moron. He becomes physically inept, unable to make the simplest drink.

One night, after the bar has closed, Dan and Tyler are cleaning up.

“So when’s he gonna stop torturing you over text and come sweep you off your beer-drenched tootsies?”

Dan rolls his eyes at this. “He’s not, Ty. He’s a rich and famous superstar, and I’m clearing up puke for the third day in a row.”

Dan wrinkles his nose as he continues mopping up the patch of vomit. He’s suspicious at this point; three days in a row is unusual. Is the same person coming in each night and spewing their guts all over the dance floor out of spite? Perhaps it’s some sort of hate crime.

“It’s like a Cinderella story!” Ty exclaims, pirouetting around his broom. “Except it’s gay, which makes it even better.”

Dan scoffs at him. “I’m pretty sure fairytales don’t involve stalking someone over social media and having them find out. He’s just taking pity on me because he saw that first night that I’m a fan.” Dan dunks the mop back in the bucket, turning to Tyler. “Besides, I’m pretty sure he has a boyfriend.”

Tyler sucks in a scandalised breath. “What! Who?”

Dragging the mop back to the supply closet, Dan laughs. “Remember the drunk guy he came with? The one who gave me a lovely Rainforest shower?”

“Him?”

Dan sighs, locks the cupboard, and nods. He digs into his pocket for his phone, and brings it over to show Tyler the photo of Phil and Charlie kissing. Matt, the security guard wanders over to see as well, letting out a low whistle.

“He’s a nonce if he thinks that guy’s behaviour was attractive,” Matt says. “He puked ‘soon as I got him out the door that night. All over the pavement.”

Dan looks at Matt, tilting his head in interest. “He did?”

Tyler plucks the phone out of Dan’s hand, zooming into the photo to have a better look, a frown on his face.

“Yep, your friend there came out, called him an Uber and sent him off,” Matt says. “Doubt pukey there would’ve made it home without him.”

“Nice guy,” Dan mutters, cheeks warm.

“This is staged,” Tyler announces abruptly.

“What?”

“Look,” he says, bringing the phone back over for Dan to see.

He zooms in on the crux of the kiss, right onto Phil’s face. Dan grimaces.

“Ty, I don’t want to see-”

“Shut up and look at his face,” Tyler interrupts, grabbing Dan’s chin and angling it towards the phone. “See how his lips are puckered? All stiff and pointed, like he’s kissing his grandma. And his eyes are open.”

“He’s looking at the camera!”

“Nah, Tyler’s right mate,” Matt says. The gum he’s chewing is making gross squishy sounds right in Dan’s ear as he leans over to look. “He looks awkward as hell.”

Dan narrows his eyes at the photo, trying to see what the others see.

“Besides, didn’t you say he hated that guy?” Tyler asks, clicking off the photo.

Dan tuts, snatching his phone back. “Well, apparently he was just being nice to compensate for the fact his kissing buddy covered me in sugary cocktail.”

He makes the smart decision to step away from this preposterous conversation before he does something stupid. Like allow either of these morons to give him hope that Phil is actually single.

Not that Phil being single would even matter.

“Or he was making it clear that he’s available!” Tyler calls after him as Dan stalks over to the staff room. “He whipped his shirt off for you twice and gave you his number. Do you think he’d do that if he had a boyfriend?”

“Drop it, Ty!” Dan calls back, shutting the staff room door behind him.

He will not let himself fall into the trap of daring to believe he could get someone as gorgeous, as hilarious, as pure and… amazing, as Phil Lester.

He won’t.

This is a good philosophy, in theory.

In practise, it turns out to be a lot more difficult. Dan finds this out to his cost when Phil strolls into Habenero the following Friday with Charlie Hickory at his side. Dan’s stomach sinks as soon as he sees the pair, the butterflies that appear each time Phil so much as acknowledges exploding into dust the moment he registers who Phil is here with.

Phil makes a beeline for the bar, a big smile on his face as he sees Dan. Warily, Dan smiles back, very aware that he is not exactly Charlie’s biggest fan.

“Dan!” Phil sings, chipper as ever.

Blushing already, Dan waves an awkward hand. He will never, he’s sure, get used to hearing his name on Phil Lester’s lips. “Hi. You’re back.”

“Of course! This is my local hangout now,” Phil says, winking. “Great cocktails, cute bar staff, crazy Bingo nights… this place has got it all.”

“Some people might not agree with you about the cocktails,” Dan can’t help himself saying, glancing at Charlie.

Charlie shuffles awkwardly on the spot. “Right,” he says, casting a look at Phil. They share a look that seems loaded with something Dan is not privy to, and then Charlie sighs, turning to Dan. “I wanted to, uh, apologise. About last time. Totally not cool of me to… tell you off like that. I was wasted.”

For an awkward moment, Dan waits for the actual word ‘sorry’ to leave Charlie’s mouth. It becomes obvious fairly swiftly that the dude feels he’s already said enough, so Dan just gives him a tight smile, and clears his throat.

“Oh, yeah man,” he says. “Let’s just… move on, I guess.”

If Charlie won’t say sorry, then Dan’s sure as hell not going to say he forgives him.

“So, drinks?” Phil asks, seeming to sense the taut atmosphere. “Maybe not cocktails?”

Dan can’t help the splutter of laughter, but Charlie shoots a dagger-like glare Phil’s way. It makes Dan’s lip curl; how could anyone be angry with Phil, of all people?

“Maybe some beers?” Dan suggests, teeth clenched. “We have a load of craft beers, or if you’re more into spirits I could make you guys a-”

“I’ll have a vodka and light tonic, no ice,” Charlie interrupts. “A double. If you use regular tonic, I will know.”

“Charlie,” Phil hisses under his breath.

They exchange another loaded look, and again Charlie sighs, turning to Dan with a fake smile. “Please.”

Swallowing the urge to roll his eyes, Dan nods, then gladly turns his attention to Phil. “And for you?”

“Oh,” Phil says, like it’s only just occurred to him that he needs to order as well. “God, I’m so bad at deciding, err…”

As he’s dithering, Charlie sighs. “Are you cool to get these, Phil? I’m gonna go find us a table.”

“You don’t wanna dance?”

“Not in the mood.”

Phil nods, obviously disappointed. “Okay, yeah, I’ll meet you in the back.”

With that, Charlie is gone, slipping into the crowd. The look of distaste must be more evident on Dan’s face than he thinks, because Phil laughs at it.

“I know,” Phil says. “But he does have a few… marginally amiable qualities.”

‘Why have you chosen to be with someone that’s marginally amiable when you’re so great,’ is what Dan wants to ask. Instead, he simply shrugs, deciding to change the subject.

“Have you decided on a drink yet? I’d better get on with making his low-cal dishwater.”

Phil laughs a little, then leans forwards, his smile deepening as he leans across the bar. “Surprise me.”

Something sparks a roman candle in Dan’s stomach, and his skin prickles with the heat it creates. He drags his eyes free of Phil’s with some difficulty, nodding, and turns to make the drinks.

He prepares Phil a ‘PopQueen’ cocktail, which is one of their most popular. It’s inspired by popcorn, along with the trio of Pop Queens that rule the gay music scene: Gaga, RiRi, and Bey. The moscato vodka base is made from Italian grapes to represent Gaga’s heritage, the spiced rum is a shoutout to Bey’s favourite drink, and Riri comes in in the form of a smoky splash of passion fruit bitter. The rest is topped up with popcorn syrup, lemonade, a sprinkle of caramel popcorn kernels, and as many sparkly cocktail sticks as Dan can fit in.

He explains the whole concoction to Phil as he presents it, a little smug because he knows this is an impressive looking cocktail. It’s probably his favourite one to make; the Viniq shimmery moscato vodka makes the drink swirl and shimmer - always exceptionally pretty.

Sure enough, Phil’s mouth drops open at the sight of it. “Okay wow,” Phil says, chuckling. “I’m gonna get drunk tonight, aren’t I?”

“If that’s your plan, this should definitely help you on your way,” Dan says, laughing too. “I wouldn’t recommend having a second if you want to remember your evening.”

Phil leans forwards to take a sip of the PopQueen, moaning around the straw, much to Dan’s dismay. He plucks one of the popcorn pieces off and eats it, eyes closed. In related news, Dan struggles not to fall to the floor. “Dan, you are an artiste,” Phil says. “Popcorn is my all time favourite food.”

“Oh, wow, that’s... lucky, I guess,” Dan stammers, a swell of pride surging up into his chest. “Glad you like it.”

“So, how much?”

“Oh, on the house.” Dan smiles, sliding the cocktail across the bar along with Charlie’s vodka tonic. “I feel bad for not letting you in on the forfeit for Bingo last time.”

The look on Phil’s face softens into something so sweet Dan can taste sugar on his tongue.

“You don’t have to do that,” Phil says softly.

“It’s fine, really,” Dan assures him, all but sliding his elbows across the bar towards him. “I insist.”

A twitch in the corner of Phil’s mouth, and then he’s leaning across the bar. It happens slowly, but Dan still manages to be caught off guard. One moment, he’s watching, bemused, as Phil inches towards him, and the next there’s a light press of paper-soft lips to his cheek. A scratch of stubble grazes over Dan’s skin as Phil leans away.

“Thanks,” Phil tells him, smiling. “You’re sweet, Dan.”

And then he’s turning away, drinks in hand, slipping into the mass of people.

For the next few hours, Dan hopes for Phil to return to the bar for another round. He waits, eagerly, for this moment to come. Instead, Charlie is the one who brings his and Phil’s glasses back over, and waves to flag down Dan’s attention.

He nods in acknowledgement, finishing up the drinks order he’s in the middle of, and sidling over to Charlie. He forces a strained smile.

“Same again?”

“Yeah,” Charlie says, digging out his phone. “And a couple of vodka shots.”

He says nothing else, eyes glued to his phone screen. Dan waits for a moment before moving off, eyes stuck to Charlie’s face. He’s the kind of gorgeous that shouldn’t exist in real life. Unblemished, tanned skin. Clean, dark stubble, lacing his perfect, razorblade jawline. His hair is a swoop of glossy mahogany; even the cut of it looks expensive.

Charlie’s eyes flick up to Dan’s, obviously questioning why he’s staring, so Dan nods, embarrassed, and hurries to make the drinks. From a superficial standpoint, it’s obvious why Phil is with Charlie. Obviously, in Dan’s eyes, Phil is the most attractive man on the planet, but that’s just because he’s Dan’s type. Even he can tell that Charlie is objectively a beautiful human being.

It’s just a shame about everything below the surface level.

Dan pours the two shots Charlie ordered. “All together it’s twenty pounds, please.”

Charlie snorts, then pockets his phone at last. “Figures you’d give Phil the discount.”

He pulls out a twenty and slaps it on the counter.

“Sorry, I can’t give you guys free drinks all night.”

Charlie just stares back at him, a faint, knowing smile caught on his dusty pink lips. One of this thick eyebrows is slightly quirked, sliding an irritation under Dan’s skin. “Listen, Danny, is it?”

“Dan,” he grits.

“Dan,” Charlie says, leaning across the bar. “A little advice, yeah? Don’t be so transparent. It just comes across as pathetic.”

He downs both the shots in quick succession, baffling Dan, who is frozen, mortified, to the spot. Before his brain can thaw enough to stammer out some witty rebuttal, Charlie has swept the drinks off the counter, and is moving away.

Cheeks burning, Dan turns around, trying to calm his boiling blood. He squeezes his fists together, counting to ten, the way he makes himself after all encounters with dickhead customers.

“Hey, sweetcheeks, can we get some drinks over here, please?”

With a deep sigh, Dan unclenches his fists, and turns to the next customer.

At around one in the morning, Dan runs to the bathroom for a minute, and on his way, he sees Charlie. He’s against the wall of the club, near the DJ booth. There’s a muscular, dark-skinned man pressing him there; their faces are close. Dan can’t stop, he’s left Tyler and Dodie to the mercy of the drunks in their worst state - things get rowdy an hour before closing - and he needs to get back there. So, instead, he simply tucks the image away in his mind, to think about later on.

That man, leant against Charlie in a less-than-innocent seeming stance, was certainly not Phil, after all. As he exits the bathroom, he notices that Charlie is gone, as is whoever was with him.

At 1:55am, the lights come on. As usual, an enormous groan chants out of the crowd of patrons on the dance floor, followed by a few pairs awkwardly stepping out of the shadows, some squinting and eye-covering, and the slow, jelly-legged walk to the coat-check area.

“I think I just saw some guy getting up off his knees in the corner,” Tyler says despondently. “Shotgun not mopping the floor tonight.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Dan sighs. “On the dance floor? Really? Why can’t they suck each other off in the bathroom like normal people?”

“Oh, there were definitely people doing that in one of the stalls about an hour ago,” someone says to Dan’s right. The voice, for some reason, sends the hairs up on the back of Dan’s neck.

He turns, wondering when Matt’s voice got so low, only to find that Phil has perched himself on one of the bar stools, the dregs of his cocktail still in a glass in front of him. For a moment, Dan is too stunned at the sight of him to reply. Then, he registers that the lights are on, and cringes, knowing he likely looks frightful. Phil, of course, looks radiant as ever even under the harsh fluorescents, apart from a faint tiredness, visible in the dark circles underneath his eyes.

“You’re still here,” Dan comments. “I thought you guys had gone.”

“Charlie left,” Phil says, looking away from Dan. “Or I assume he did.”

Out of sight, Tyler catches Dan’s eye, making an obscene gesture with his hands before snickering and running off in the direction of the supply closet. Dan just glares after him, pink-cheeked, and turns back to Phil.

“Wait, he left without telling you?”

One of Phil’s shoulders moves towards his neck, then falls. “He does that.”

“Wow that’s… kind of shitty.”

As soon as the words are out, Dan regrets them. He can’t help but think of Charlie’s comment from earlier; it rings in his ears as if the guy had screamed it at him.

Don’t be so transparent. It just comes across as pathetic.

He was right, probably, though Dan had hated hearing it. He should stop being such a suck-up. It must be awkward and cringey for Phil to see Dan so obviously smitten.

Still, Phil throws him a faint smile. “It’s cool. He’s just a flaky guy. A bit of a princess. He grew up rich, so he’s always been a bit superficial. I’m trying to wring the bourgeoisie out of his blue blood.”

Dan snorts with laughter. “In my experience, you can’t filter the dickishness out of people very easily.”

There’s a silence, then. Phil regards him with a faintly curious expression.

“Maybe I’m wrong,” Dan says once the silence gets too uncomfortable. He shrugs, grabbing the rag from his back pocket and starting to wipe down the bar. “I don’t know the guy, really. I’ve just had a couple of unfortunate experiences with him.”

“Oh no,” Phil says, face falling. “What did he do this time?”

Dan laughs, bitterly. “Don’t worry about it. He’s just a little mouthy, is all.”

“Ugh, I’m sorry.”

“Nothing I can’t handle.”

“So, when do you get to leave this place?” Phil asks, playing with his glass. He still hasn’t drunk the remainder of his cocktail. “Or do you sleep here?”

“On weekdays, the bar closes at two, so I get out of here at around two-thirty.”

“Christ,” Phil mutters. “And I thought my job was long hours.”

A laugh bursts out of Dan’s throat, but he covers it as best he can with a cough, turning away. Busying himself with ‘dusting’ some liquor bottles, Dan tries to compose a straight face. Is Phil honestly going to try and argue that his job is difficult? When was the last time that guy ever grabbed a broom, or handled someone’s sticky change?

In a minute, Dan is going to go into the corner of the dance floor, get down on his knees, and clean up some randomer’s come. A few weeks ago he saw Phil swanning about a five-star hotel in Korea. If AmazingPhil’s worst complaint is that he had to have a few questionable outfit choices put on him, and some silvery goo in his hair, then he needs a reality check.

Nevertheless, Dan knows that he can’t say any of this. Not only would he never dream of insulting Phil Lester, but it’s pointless to try and explain the differences between classes to someone in a privileged position. They’ve usually forgotten how to understand.

“Are you close by, at least?” Phil asks, interrupting Dan’s thoughts.

Dan turns back to him. “Kemptown. It’s half an hour’s walk, more or less.”

“You walk?” Phil asks, eyebrows skyrocketing towards his quiff. “At two in the morning?”

“Five in the morning on weekends,” Dan confirms, hiding a smile at Phil’s surprise. “It’s okay, you get used to it. Besides, it’s mostly just drunk idiots chugging cans of cider and threatening to run into the sea. Not too scary.”

Despite Dan’s reassurance, the look of pity and concern on Phil’s face doesn’t subside. After a while, Dan turns from it, feeling awkward. He busies himself with clearing away the last of the empty glasses, yawning into the crook of his elbow. Tonight was rough.

“You should crash at mine,” Phil blurts.

Sure he must have misheard, Dan faces Phil slowly. “Um, what?”

“If you’re exhausted, I mean.” Phil fidgets, fingers tapping against his glass. “Like, on the nights you can’t face walking all the way home, you can totally just sleep on my sofa.”

Speechless, Dan simply stares.

“The couch is pretty comfy,” Phil continues in a ramble, not meeting Dan’s eye. “And my flat is just up the road, literally like a minute away. I’m not saying, y’know, come over every night, ‘cause obviously… that might be an issue, but you can absolutely stay round on, say, Saturday nights when you finish later. That wouldn’t be a problem.”

He’s just being nice. That’s Dan’s only explanation. Phil Lester is a sweetheart of a person, and he got so worried about the hypothetical danger involved in Dan’s walks home, that he offered something big, even though he didn’t really mean it.

Dan is a stranger to him. He needs to decline the polite offer, and let Phil off the hook he accidentally created to string himself up on.

So, Dan forces out a small chuckle, and says: “Oh, no, it’s really fine. Thanks for the offer, that’s really good of you, but I quite like the walk. It’s a nice come down after a busy night.”

Phil nods, chewing his lip. He looks unconvinced. “I’m not just saying it, though.” His voice has dropped to a lower tone. “Like tonight… you’re so tired, I can see it. Just grab some sleep at mine before you head back across town.”

As soon as Phil mentions it, the quilt of his own exhaustion flops around his shoulders, dragging Dan’s bones towards the floor. He tries to picture the stumble back to his crummy flat in Kemptown, loathing each imaginary step.

“You barely know me,” Dan says - one last attempt at refusal.

Sensing he’s won, Phil smiles very slightly, then downs the rest of his cocktail at last. “I don’t know if it’s just me, Dan, but I have this feeling that we’re going to be good friends.”

(Part 4!)

#phan #phanfic #bartender au #phanfiction

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screamingintp · 6 years

Text

more about my mc

this is a mess, please don’t read it unless you’re interested in what i come up with when i’m sleep deprived and creating my first rp character

https://character-resource.deviantart.com/art/Big-Ass-Character-Sheet-Updating-167182524 but i cut out a buncha shit

welcome to hell(or the place in which I can’t capitalize for shit and curse too much and am vague but that’s honestly my personality in general)

Full Name: Mark Knox

Meaning: Mark, derived from Martkos(Roman), related to the war god, Mars. Knox, derived from cnoc(Scottish), meaning hillock.

Origin: made it up on the spot because planning is for cowards

Signature: illegible letters - MKX

Gender: male

Orientation: pan(i wrote pam and don’t regret it)-aro

Blood: three-quarters pure, half blood father

Birthday: 6-6

Deathday: (May not have one yet)(oh gee, did you not expect me to have a day of death?)(well, i don’t)

Astrological Sign: Gemini(fun fact: Draco’s the only Gemini on the wiki)(why is this relevant)(astrology is weird as all hell)

____

Immediate Family: Jacob Knox(brother)

Distant Family: Shay Knox(mother), Clark Knox(father)

Parenting: non-existent

Upbringing(morals and ideals): considering he was raised by a person only a few years older than him, during the period of Voldemort’s rule, he is less screwed up than he could’ve been. However, he still possesses a rather vague and undefined sense of right and wrong - using his logic to bypass any sort of regrets if it blocks him from his goal

Infancy: (dropped at birth is an option and i’m living for it)

Childhood: that one kid who lit ants on fire and was ‘rebellious’ (you know that post about america being the asshole kid with neglectful parents? That’s the one)

Adolescence: canon

Adulthood: never. He hasn’t even gotten taller

____

Species: hooman

Preferred Hand: ambidextrous(he keeps injuring his hands)

Facial Type: like a face, why is this - oval, i guess

Eye Color: dark brown

Hair Color (Self Explanatory)(it isn’t when his hair is grey/silver/white)(the kid probably bleached his already pale hair)(he probably likes the smell of bleach)

Hairstyle: fringe-up

Complexion: blushes easily, relatively smooth unless you look at the cuts and bruises and scars on his arms, back and legs

Body Type: ectomorph

Build: skinny arms and legs, he isn’t the most physically fit and regularly damages his body due to his complete lack of care for his own safety

Height: 65 in

Weight: 120 lb

Shoe Size: (Shoe size doesn’t matter)(goddamnit i forgot this was an innuendo)(keep it pg, please)

Birthmarks/scars: no birthmarks, and has tons of ugly marks all over him, none of them particularly remarkable

Distinguishing Features: the contrast between his eye color and hair color - but other than the hair, he doesn’t have a memorable face

_____

Health: as healthy as a wizard without impulse control and emotional support could be

Energy: swings from highs and lows without any pattern

Memory: remembers the small stuff, the negative parts - forgets about major ideas or lessons

Senses: heavily relies on eyes, can’t taste for shit

Allergies: (Self Explanatory. May be optional.)(i mean, i would put animals, but we have transfiguration)

Medication: needs some, doesn’t take any

Phobias(irrational fears):

Symmetrophobia(fear of symmetry, an unnatural-looking but normal occurrence, which isn’t debilitating, but causes him stress and uneasiness)

Siderophobia(fear of the stars, the idea that there’s so much out there that he doesn’t know of is pretty awful and, again, while it isn’t going to freeze him up, it will cause him to become upset)

Addictions: none yet

Mental Disorders: undiagnosed

______

Style: couldn’t care less about appearance - he wears the school robes most of the time

Mode of Dress: doesn’t have a particular taste, as long as it’s passable, it’s fine - tends to wear a size or two larger

Grooming: somewhere in between messy and neat

Posture: he displays an air of aloofness and confidence - almost condescending in stance

Gait: quickly and efficiently - it’s brisk at his slowest

Coordination: not physically fit at all, he’s too reckless for that - exercises to the point of exhaustion without realizing that it’s detrimental to do so and has limbs flying all over the place

Habits and Mannerisms: taps his foot or fingers when excited, nervous, or anything that deviates from his usual ‘cool’ facade

Scent: earth, smoke, and grass - faint but noticeable

______

Mood: ‘calm’ - probably plotting though

Attitude: he’s charismatic and charming until you dig deeper

Stability: hA

Expressiveness: can act like he’s wearing his heart on his sleeve but can never fully give his true thoughts

When Happy: smirks - invades personal space and slows down

When Depressed: smiles - talks louder and speaks faster

When Angry: (trolls online is an option and if that isn’t Mark, i don’t know what is) smirks - wide eyes and tense hands

______

Friends: Rubeus Hagrid - but not really

Enemies: Rita Skeeter - but not really

Bosses: Filius Flitwick - but not really

Followers: not even himself

Heroes: Filius Flitwick - “short people are closer to hell and he’s gonna whoop my ass if I do anything stupid”

Rivals: Ismelda - “for most edgy teen”

Relates to: Dumbledore - impersonal but seemingly close, full of contradictions and ulterior motives

Pets/Familiars: does his jar of bug bodies count?

______

Wardrobe: mostly consisting of Hogwarts robes, formal robes, and the identical grey-blue sweater and jeans

Equipment: carries a wand and a pencil(but not paper, because he has problems)

Accessories: a single dangling silver piercing on his right ear(family tradition)

Trinkets: carries hair ties on his wrist all the time(why? He doesn’t even know)

Funds: his family is relatively well off, being a respected branch of purebloods

Home: almost like his personality, warm and nice on the outside, cozy on the inside, but dead silent and empty when no one looks - not large but not small either, seeming normal by all accounts if you don’t look into any of the rooms(jacob’s windows are taped shut and Mark broke through the locked door that connected their bedrooms)

Neighborhood: the woods

Transportation: running because stamina apparently is infinite in this world

Collections: bug bodies, herbs, and lighters

Prized Possession: his wand, after seeing Jacob’s broken one

_____

Lovers: yeet

Marital Status: yeet

____

Experience: works in the three broomsticks in his off time to get experience and money, nothing serious

Organizations/Affiliations: changeable, he doesn’t plant many roots or make any long-term promises

______

Education: i mean, Hogwarts. But is it even ‘education’?

School: (What was their school like?) bitch this is Hogwarts

Social Stereotype: “least favorite cursed student”

Intelligence: mostly interpersonal, linguistic and logical

Extracurricular Activities: would do theater if given the chance

_____

Morals: don’t exist - but he honestly has a problem with reasoning his way into committing seriously wrong deeds

Crime Record: hasn’t been caught yet ;)

Motivation: adrenaline, change - nothing truly meaningful or satisfying

Priorities: knowledge, humans, self

Philosophy: gen z nihilism

Etiquette: usually practices ‘correct’ etiquette - does not give a fuck if his behaviour offends someone though

Influences: everything and anything he finds intriguing

Traditions: tries to run away from them, always moving and staying ahead of the past

______

Career: spell-inventor or wand-maker/seller

Desires: uncertain

Accomplishments: undetermined

Biggest Failure: failing Jacob

Secrets: his manipulative side, his genuinely mean streak and the fact that he regrets having those traits

Regrets: a shit ton of things

Worries: Jacob, being nothing in the grand scheme of things, being a hypocrite, betrayal, a shit ton of things

Best Dream: having a greater purpose

Worst Nightmare: dying alone and being left behind as a ghost

Best Memories: finding his brother’s secret room, meeting Billingsley

Worst Memories: losing his brother, lying to his teachers, accidentally calling Chester: Jacob

_______

Hobbies/Interests: explore the wilderness, identify flora and fauna, observing other people

Skills/Talents: pyromancy, charms in general, debating, acting, singing

Likes: mint, sharpies, fire

Dislikes: himself, close-minded people, pity

Sense of Humor: sarcastic, self-deprecating, relatively dark

Pet Peeves: the guy scratching his quill the wrong way in the front row whenever they write essays

Dreams/Nightmares: doesn’t dream usually - when he does, it’s usually flashes of color and abstract black and white shapes

Quirks: can’t sit on the fucking couch correctly

Understands: how people think, the reason they fail, mistakes

Can't understand: quidditch, values, structure

Closet Hobby: burning shit(though that isn’t really a hidden thing with him)

_________

Strengths: charismatic, diplomatic, quick-witted, inwardly caring, able to understand his flaws, patient, logical, able to read other people

Flaws: lies often, manipulative, lazy, lenient, passive, harsh, inconsiderate, enjoys pushing people’s buttons, doesn’t understand people

Perception of others: beautiful, incomprehensible, vast

Instincts: wants approval(deems it irrational)

Lures: leadership roles, secrets, problems

Soft Spot: innocence but not ignorant, optimism

________

Ability: capable if he puts his mind to it - employs unpredictable and risky techniques instead of having a fear of consequences

Weaknesses: stubborn opponents - he expects change and gets caught off guard when someone seems set in their ways

Patronus: non-corporeal

Boggart: fire(irony i guess is easy to use when you don’t have anything else)

Wand: spruce, phoenix feather, 12”, springy

Amortentia: lime, smoke, sharpies

House: Ravenclaw(that post about the kid wanting to be put in Ravenclaw since ppl will trust you but got in Slytherin)

_____

Favorite Color(s): grey, blue

Favorite Animal(s): swedish short snout

Favorite Drink(s): coffee and soda(probably together because he can’t function like a normal person)

Favorite Genre: mystery or myths

Favorite Subject(s): charms(Flitwick is the man) and divination(where you can bs your way through anything)

Least Favorite Color(s): black, white

Least Favorite Animal(s): flies

Least Favorite Drink(s): does soup count? Because he does drink it in a cup

Least Favorite Genre: manuals and biographies

Least Favorite Subject(s): flying(impulsive idiot) and care of magical creatures(he’s a screw up around animals)

________

Languages: english and he taught himself some Latin

Voice: average in tone, a bit nasally, rather forgettable except for the speed

Greetings and Farewells: doesn’t

Ask your character "how are you": yes.

Character tries to compliment: you have eyes, your name is ___

Tries to insult: passive-aggressively drags a person

Expletive: damn(dam)(loopholes, my friends)

Laughter: snorting, definitely not normal

Tagline: ___, yeah?

________

Reputation: other than the whole ‘brother’ problem, is relatively well-liked

First Impressions: charming, confident guy

Stranger Impressions: a bit loud but not strange

Friendly Impressions: goddamnit Mark, shut up

Enemy Impressions: please keep talking so we’re allowed to punch you in the face

Familiar Impressions: ah yes, the hair pops up from time to time

Compliments from others: bright, energetic, optimistic, honest

Insults: dangerous, unstable, chaotic

Self-Impression: am shit

_________

Compare to: forest fire(destructive and necessary for change)

Symbols: flames, ashes, duality

#you guys are wonderful people who don't deserve this disappoitment #but i am a disappointment so what can we do?

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canaryatlaw · 3 years

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okay, today was long and exhausting but not exactly bad, so I’ll take it. Got up same as always and immediately submitted some of the paperwork we finished yesterday, then called the court about it because it was a sensitive situation (the client was stuck in the house with the guy and their kids) and we needed the court’s cooperation to make it work and fortunately they were actually cooperative, which is not something I can say happens very often so I was happy about that at least. We had to wait like an hour after getting sent up to the virtual courtroom to actually get in front of a judge, because apparently there was an influx of Spanish speaking cases, and they always want to do those in one big chunk while they have the interpreter present, but we made it inside and we were in front of one of the new judges that I like a lot, he was the one I had to very gently correct about part of the statute we operate under and he was very chill about it so that was appreciated. he handled things well, took testimony on areas of concern and granted the order, and from there it was going to be a question of getting the guy out of the house, which involved the client calling the cops and telling them about the order of protection, so it was a very precarious situation and I asked her to keep me updated so we could make sure she was safe. the rest of the day was busy, we had a ton of cases when we had like none yesterday, but we were able to get a lot of work done, so I was happy with that. I ended up working pretty much up until 7 on things, and I still really have more things to do but that was enough for tonight, for the most part. The Resident was on at 7, and based on the preview I was like, not at all happy with how the episode was going to go, because of course the female lead character who’s recently become pregnant gets attacked for some reason and they’re able to save her but they end up losing the baby because nobody gets to keep their babies on tv when the opportunity for angst of losing one is just too great for writers to pass up. ugh. through the end of the episode they had it looking like they were both going to be okay so I had a glimmer of hope for a second, but then when the trailer for next week played it was pretty damn clear it was going to happen then, so looks like they are gonna go the predictable route and it’s just such a big ughhhhh for me right now because usually the plots on this show are like perfect and so well done, and I’m just so done with this stupid trope that happens way too often. sigh. anyway. when that was over I watched the new episode of Black Lightning that I missed last night (I forgot it premiered this week, I’ll have to figure out what I want to watch on Mondays if I’m going to have competing shows, maybe one of the 9-1-1′s and BL, we’ll see) and it was pretty sad ngl haha but I do love Jefferson being a boss and just kicking ass all around, and of course my girls Grace and Anissa being absolutely amazing and I’m so mad they’re cancelling the show and I’m never going to get my Ryan and Anissa amazing lesbian superhero crossover that I CLEARLY deserve, and that’s really just unfair to the world to deprive them of that content (I do realize I haven’t at all commented about Legends getting renewed for another season before this season even starts airing, I have complicated feelings about it, because as much as I love the characters sometimes it’s just time to let a show die, and I don’t want the later seasons to be poor quality when the show has clearly peaked and is now going downhill, but I guess we’ll see what happens). Sometime during this I got the text that the client from earlier is safe with the kids and the dude was kicked out of the house by the cops, so that was a massive relief to hear, because there were so many ways that could’ve gone sideways. I’m going to make sure we can represent her for the case going forward (and probably ask that it be assigned to me, if it isn’t already, lol). but yeah, when BL was done I watched a few episodes of Scrubs (just started season 4) and then over to Jimmy Kimmel for a few minutes before showering and starting to get ready for bed and now I am here and my eyelids are getting heavy fast, so I’ll end this post here. Goodnight peeps. Sleep well.

#daily journal #February 2021

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bbhl-incporated · 7 years

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what happened in 2014? what was that post about?? (Btw I only now just noticed ur url is "goth"chanbaek not "got"chanbaek...)

L O L don’t worry about the url… I haven’t changed it since summer 2016 (when Monster came out and my mutuals made “goth” urls falsdk;jfaldsf)

So 2014 basically got hit by a huge shitstorm. The Sewol Ferry sinking of course was a national tragedy and left many idols devastated; some kids on the ship were very much fans of different idol groups and relatives / friends reached out to the idols to tell them so. I cried during the whole fiasco and I wasn’t even in the country …. the debacle just made my heart ache.

Related to the actual kpop industry itself, Kris did leave EXO in May of 2014 and opened the flood gates for the biggest SM scandal since the breakup of DB5K into 2VXQ and JYJ. (DBSK had the largest fandom to date, called Cassiopeia, and it had fans in China, Korea, Japan…. they were especially known for how big they were in Japan. Breakout and steady success in what was considered Asia’s largest music market, by foreign and non-American artists was absolutely amazing. For the record, it has names specific to each language: Tong Vfan Xien Qi = TVXQ, the Mandarin name; DBSK = Dong Bang Shing Ki, Korean name; and Tohoshinki is the Japanese name. They technically debuted as a Japanese act and not a Korean act releasing things in Japanese which adds some nuance important for considering record breaking and setting, money, etc which are not important for our purposes here.) Kris’s sudden departure opened wounds older kpop fans had considered closed since the breakup of Kpop’s largest act (BigBang wasn’t shit in comparison for quite some time and even LeeSooMan apparently considered SJ throwaways from DBSK) and cast yet another huge, negative, ugly spotlight on the abuses of SM Entertainment in the past. The sticky part is how people started to analyze why this departure was not so sudden, and I will return to that in a bit.

This departure itself was ugly because Kris left in the middle of Overdose promotions and a few weeks before EXO’s first tour would commence. For context, Overdose came as a follow up to EXO’s smashing 2013 success with Growl Repackage and Miracles in December. They became the first artists to become million-album sellers in years with Growl and they won Album of the Year at the Mnet Asian Music Awards, when G Dragon had won pretty much every thing else that night (lmao) and SHINee was also up for the award. So they, a rookie group less than 2 years old, managed to win that award despite the STIFF sunbae competition on top of becoming million sellers… All eyes were on them no doubt and the public and fans were looking forward to their next promotions and their first concert tour… … SO you can imagine the laser focus this drew to the group and to the company. I will tell you right now: Not. A. Pleasant. Experience. The fandom was l i t e r a l l y imploding and people were taking pro-Kris and anti-Kris stances everywhere and calling him a traitor and calling fans fake and — and there was the part where only Suho was on stage to receive EXO’s award right after the news came out and my soul broke in half and the days you could tell EXO had been crying before coming onstage and and and – THERE WAS JUST SO MUCH SAD AND ANGRY IN THE FANDOM I hated it.

There are many bloggers who were around, who I followed during that time who aren’t around anymore. T_T

If I tell and explain everything wrong that happened in 2014 I could be here quite a while, so I’ll keep it short and jump to Baek’s instagram post. He made that post (xx) and one or two others I think, in response to the vicious and heinous reactions he and Taeyeon received after Dispatch revealed they were dating. Yes, this happened even in the aftermath of Kris’ departure. Yes, this only made things worse. Why? Well to add fuel to the fire, Baek had made a sort of cheeky promise that he wouldn’t date until EXO had made it, weren’t rookies anymore… basically he “promised” not to date until around 5 years after EXO debuted. That would be this year… so you know …. those deluded fans who took him seriously flipped out. Add on to that the fact that Taeyeon is many years his sunbae in terms of activity in the industry and the leader of the Nation’s Girl Group ™ and both jealousy of her and resentment of the fact he was in a relationship caused fans to make vicious posts and comments on Instagram–BOTH of their Instagrams, though his was far worse–and many other social media sites and forums. (Twitter comes to mind too.) THEN to top it all off, Baek was an MC on a music show (Inkigayo maybe?) and YOU COULD SEE HE HAD BEEN STRESSED, SLEEP DEPRIVED AND CRYING on many days and so-called “””fans””” had the nerve to shout and call him a traitor–among other things–ON LIVE BROADCAST like h o l y s h i t this was bad. Baek should not have had to ~apologize~ for dating Taeyeon, as he did in the post.

Okay now winding back to what I mentioned earlier: rumor theories. Theories about every damn thing started floating around. There was a big theory about how Kris had wanted out of EXO since before Wolf (Wolf preceded Growl, but both were in 2013) and that Kris fabricated his visa issue. I have that on my blog and can hunt it down for you if you want to read the full body of “Evidence ™” but it’s actually plausible. Another theory was that Taeyeon and Baek were not actually dating–and this has many strains. One strain indicates that the entire relationship was fabricated as a distraction from the Kris departure and lawsuit , while the other states that they did date at one time but broke up way before any of the drama started–SM just used them since they had been together before as an easy cover up. These kinds of theories did not help a damn thing and just seeded further distrust and resentment within fandoms. Like seriously you had SONEs and EXOL screeching at other over this relationship, and even though they were not majority or mainstream fandom members / opinions, they still became pretty vocal. Many bad egg EXOL attacked both Baek and Taeyeon, and fewer SONEs attacked one or both. The theories that surrounded their relationship, including that they gave “hints” with couple items and that Taeyeon gave Baek a fan gift just . It was so ugly. Kpop fans showed their ugliest side. There were venomous comments for weeks. Baek and Tae even left Instagram for a while and Baek stopped being energetic and talkative when with EXO. I hated it so. fucking . much.

Let me tell you. Within SM? It only gets worse. Outside of SM? It gets much worse.

Within SM… Luhan also leaves EXO in October of that year. That’s TWO members, both Chinese, leaving the SAME up-and-coming and ~spectacular~ group, in the SAME year. Boy did that get media attention. Oh, and SM’s stocks took a much bigger dip after Luhan left than when Kris left. Oh, and Luhan’s deteriorating condition was much more visible than Kris’s and just stoked the flames of hatred against SM all over again. Oh, and Luhan was EXO’s biggest China connection and most popular member in China … hence the stock drop. A few months later, Luhan was making literally millions on his own, which reinforced the premise that the dude was worth wayyyy too valuable for SM to give up willingly. Which of course they didn’t , which is why the main lawsuit lasted for about 2 years. But yeah now the forever-12 group with 4 Chinese members was down to 10 and only 2 Chinese members (bad for connecting to the Chinese music market which is full of $$$$) and media was losing its mind ! So was the fandom! Now the definition of traitor had shifted and you were a traitor and YOU were a traitor and we’re all traitors !!!!

And JESSICA LEFT SNSD TOO !!! The only way I can characterize everyone’s emotions at the time is: WHAT T HE F UC K ??? Luhan and Jessica’s respective departures literally happened within two weeks of each other !!! What were we supposed to d o ??? Between all three departures, you felt like you were getting punched in the gut, then the face, then the genitalia, then kicked on the ground. SNSD was forever nine man, nation’s girl group, biggest Kpop girl group ever and suddenly a main vocalist is gone ??? B O Y !

Oh, I forgot to mention how Tao posted on his Instagram very …. resentful things when Kris left . Mmmmm yeah it was bad, not gonna elaborate too hard but … he took it back later in 2015. You probably know that he, too, is now a former EXO member by now.

2014 was good in that you had groups GOT7, Mamamoo, RedVelvet, WINNER, Akdong Musician, Lovelyz, JJCC, etc debut that year. But it was bad due to circumstances surrounding some of those debuts.

Notably, Red Velvet was accused of having their debut rushed because SM wanted to cover up the ongoing lawsuit news. Now I know this sounds ridiculous: a dating scandal AND debuting an entire group early just to cover up some bad publicity about an idol leaving your company? Well given how persistent the press was and how bad the lawsuit and allegations made SM look … it’s not that difficult to believe and it most definitely was not hard to gobble up as reliable gossip at the time. At the time, it was considered the norm that SM covers up bad news by Any Means Necessary, and to generate positive publicity. The BaekYeon thing backfired tremendously in that it gave hatred to artists instead of positivity but it sure as hell kept folks’ minds off the lawsuit for a bit. (Also there’s the whole strain of thinking corporations and business control and influence the media, which is something many of us can relate to and why this can appeal so strongly.)

I believe the fact that Yeri joined RV later and was going to be a permanent addition, and the only addition, only helped this theory. After all, apparently she was intended to be with the group from the start, but she was too young when RV debuted. This seems to imply that RV debuted sooner than they were supposed to. ~X files music plays in the background~

WINNER also got shafted pretty hard. They won the big reality idol-elimination show WIN: Who’s Next? hence the title WINNER (formerly Team A) and then YG highkey neglected them because …well honestly YG wanted the Next Big Bang ™ and WINNER’s ballad style wasn’t going to do that–no matter how much Mino you throw in the song. Plus he demonstrated obvious favoritism to Mino, Bobby and B.I. in general and once WINNER highkey disappeared after they dropped their release (as rookies you are supposed to do follow up promotions the same year and within a decent time frame – EXO did not do this like they were supposed to, again because of Kris visa issue [hey that theory’s looking mighty Fresh again]) it became clear that YG wanted the next group out of the WIN cycle to get the spotlight–that group became iKon (formerly known as Team B).

Lovelyz had an issue with one of their to-be-debuted members name Jisoo. Jisoo was accused of … well have you heard of the things the boy trainees under Produce 101 are being accused of ? If so, think along those lines. If not: suffice to say it involved manipulation, lesbianism and abuse within the relationship…. bad stuff to be accused of in South Korea lmao so the group was involved in scandal before even debuting! In the end, Jisoo did not debut on account that the allegations were being investigated and taken seriously–in addition to claims that she was ill due to the drama on the internet and within her live as a result of the accusations, and that she needed to recover.

I will end with those three examples of debut issues. Let’s go back to a group that debuted the same year as EXO: B.A.P. 2014 was the year B.A.P sued over “slave contracts” with TS Entertainment. According to the suit, since debuting in 2012, B.A.P had earned over 9 million dollars, yet the company had only given each member $16,000 on top of forcing members to perform to the point of hospitalization and fainting.

ZE:A, which debuted in 2010, also revealed issues with their company (shocking!!! at this point) and the group leader Junyoung (Lee Hoo) took to Twitter to criticise his managing company’s, Star Empire’s CEO Shin Joo Hak for allegedly mistreating idol groups and their unfair contracts. He also alleged that CEO Shin Joo Hak both abused him and lost the company money. So there were accusations of financial and human capital abuses. He even posted income receipts on Twitter. You can read through (reliable!) translations of the events here: xx.

I want you to imagine hearing about all this shit throughout the year and thinking things are “over” and then just getting whacked whacked whacked whacked all about because you care about all these groups at the same time . J US T . :~)))))) I was fine : ^) everything : ^) was fine : ^) Nothing bad :~) was happening at all :~)

Oh and let’s add to this list, another thing that got negativity and didn’t deserve it: Super Junior’s Sungmin marrying Kim Sa-eun in 2014. ELF (SJ fandom name) were f u r i o u s at him for marrying so suddenly. ELF were trending #SungminOUT on Twitter because they wanted him kicked out of SJ for marrying. I was a pretty big SJ fan at the time so between everything !!! I WAS SCREAMING what the hell was wrong with people ???? Mad about a marriage ! They weren’t even mad at the lady (which doesn’t make it better), but purely the fact that he was getting married and didn’t give … idk some kind of prior notice? I knew he was enlisting soon after, but that wasn’t the source of the anger… anyway, other ELF counter-trended the #SungminOUT thing with a positive tag instead, and sent him lots of love, so it worked out…. but still many ELF were mad at him. If memory serves correctly, it was primarily K-ELF (korean SJ fans) who felt this sort of entitlement to him that led to the anger and it was …. yikes.

What else is there to say about that year? Of course people re-examined previous abuses by companies, including SM Entertainment’s maltreatment of DBSK, Hangeng of SJ (SJ’s former Chinese member who sued, won, and left the group and the company due to mistreatment), disbandment of H.O.T., Shinhwa’s departure from SM, etc etc etc so you had layers of SM stan pain. SHINee and f(x) became known as SM’s only groups to not lose a member or disband … and then f(x) lost Sulli in 2015 … :|

This is the most I remember or came to light when I looked up different issues I had thought of. If anyone wants to add to this list of catastrophe then please, go ahead. .-. I’m not even proofreading or else I’ll just get emotional for the umpteenth time. Hope this answers your (and 3 other folks’) question well!

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mousepatrol · 7 years

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8.8.17

so the reason im not posting this on the correct day is because our power is out right now. I completely forgot, but our powers supposed to be out from 8pm to 3pm which is completely stupid because the sun goes down right at 8 so that’s when I would need to start using it. I mean, they could have done it at around midnight when all reasonable people are asleep, or at least ten, when people are usually done eating and theyre just hanging out. You know? Also Im using word for this so that’s why things are being autocorrected

so, my day. Trash galore, folks.

I turned off my alarm last night because I didn’t think it was doing me any good and I was getting worried that I was just making myself sleep deprived for when school starts, so I went to bed around 3 or maybe even 4 (cant even fucking remember why at this point, I didn’t have shit to do) and then I woke up at 1145. Could have been worse but also could have been a lot better. So I wasn’t that tired bc I hadn’t been woken up 120000 times and I managed to actually be awake for a while. I fucked around on the computer for an hour and then made some pasta because apparently I cant eat anything else anymore. My appetite is shit

I ate like… only half of my food before I had to get ready to leave bc my mom was having a showing of the house and that means I have to leave. So I decided I was just going to go to the gym oh but I forgot something happened while I was going downstairs to cook

I made a short textpost about this already but I ran into my mom (who was in my brothers bathroom and I therefore thought she wasn’t home) and she told me that my dad had cancelled the flight he had for when I go back to school. So basically he was going to come out with me and help me move in even though I told him I wouldn’t really need that much help this time, since I already have all of my stuff and my new place is furnished. But when I had just gotten home, he insisted, and so he booked a flight with me. Also my parents told me that my car should be low on gas when I put it in storage so it was and it turns out that’s completely wrong so he was going to help me with my car also. It needs to go to the shop too just for like oil and stuff

Um so yeah apparently hes the biggest baby ever and my mom still wanted me to apologize to him and I think I did a good job of telling her that no, I should not apologize for my tiny bad thing (telling my dad several times to be quiet in increasingly sarcastic ways, bc I was watching jeopardy and he would not stop talking and I cant hear it when hes talking bc bad ears) when he wont even apologize for calling me a piece of shit and running away upstairs and banging things around and making me scared. That’s not acceptable and even though I recognize that I could have handled it better, I think that my response of annoyance (after days upon days of him doing this same thing while I try to tell him to not) was reasonable and honestly the things I said caused no harm. I wasn’t making fun of him. I was ONLY making jokes that had to do with the clues and turning them into ways of telling him to be quiet because I cant hear. I did tell him more nicely to be quiet in the beginning though. I really did. But he just wont stop with this shit and I don’t have infinite patience, even though it’s a lot better than I used to be

Um so yeah. Ok I wrote that for the last paragraph, interesting. But I mean im not mad about him not going, its not like I wanted him there anyway and I knew it would make me very uncomfortable and he would have to get a hotel bc theres nowhere for him to sleep, but its still a bit jarring and frankly just awful that he did that instead of either telling me okay and being quiet or I don’t know, saying im gonna leave the room while you watch it then bc I cant be quiet. Either of those would have been fine but instead of thinking internally about the things he was doing, he projected stuff onto me and just called me a piece of shit. I don’t really know how you can do that as a parent. I cant help but critique him, but at least im not just insulting him. You know? Is that reasonable? Ugh. But anyway, turns out theres a 711 right next to the storage place so if my car is out of gas I can either use the tiny bit that’s left to get it over to 711 or just like get gas from there and bring it to my car. Either way it is possible. I also just need someone to pick me up from the airport but my mom said she would figure that out. So, really, im fine. It’s the circumstance that is just very upsetting, you know. Its just not something that needed to happen and now im mad/scared of him for the rest of the time im here and im just over it as hell

Ok… so I ate lunch and then got ready for the gym bc that’s where I was going. So I went and then I actually went to target first bc I was out of soap, so I got better smelling soap than the one I had last and some more conditioner bc I was also out and I got a pair of comfy shorts that are a little too small for my ass but ill make due because I need more than one pair of shorts. And those other shorts really don’t fit me, I cannot wear them out lol. Then I went to the gym bc it was arm day and that went pretty well and I did it pretty quick so it was tiring for sure. And I came back and had a nice shower and sang against me! Songs really loud because I got tickets to see them in October that Im really psyched about and I just want to listen to them more. Oh man I love laura jane grace she is just so wonderful omg I am so glad to have her in the community its wonderful

So after all of that I went downstairs to get the rest of my pasta that I had put in the fridge, and it was like 6pm and I realized I probably didn’t want to be downstairs tonight so I also got some crackers and cheese and fruits snacks and extra water because I wasn’t sure if I was going to get to eat again (I probably only ate 500 calories today im upset L). So then I went upstairs to eat and I watched the great british bake off which is really nice and I quite like it a lot. Its calming and fun. After that I did a reply because dex replied to two of my threads today so I got one out for him since I want to get that thread going, aaaand about thirty minutes after that the power went off at eight. I had seriously forgotten about that so I don’t know, I kind of just accepted my fate

Im not really sure what exactly happened there, because I felt like I was fine before (was legit browsing dildos online lmfao like I was just bored yknow) but when the power was out I got kind of upset and just… took my plush cow and sat on my bed as the sun went down and just. Stared. Catherine, bless her fucking heart, texted me after like 30 minutes out of the blue so I luckily I had her to talk to for at least a little while. I was feeling shitty before yeah now that I think about it, after my shower I was upset and felt like I was gonna cry but I didn’t and I just sent james some snaps and he said he was gonna text me but he didn’t and that’s ok I think he went to bed because he didn’t open my other snaps. Its ok. He doesn’t need to contact me every minute for me to know that he cares. I love him so much and I sent him a quick text just to tell him that because I always do that when I feel bad just because eventually he replies and it always makes me feel good.

Ok so I cried like two times between eight and nine thirty when I was just sitting there, laying on my bed and texting Catherine about when school starts. I just felt really down because I remember having to turn the lights off around ten and it doesn’t really get a lot darker than it does in the summer at eight (I mean ten during schooltime when I was younger) and I just remember not having any light and no one to talk to or text and I couldn’t read and my parents would lock my computer out at ten so I couldn’t talk to anyone and I just remember being very very lonely and feeling like no one cared about me and not being able to talk to the people that I felt like truly did care about me. So I remember doing a lot of crying in bed in the evenings when I was like 12-16 and its just really sad, you know? i would cry myself to sleep a lot and all I could do was lay there and listen to music because ive always been really bad at sleeping so it would never come at ten even if I really wanted to sleep then. It just didn’t happen. So sitting there in my bed tonight just made me feel like this little kid trapped in this room and I cant go downstairs because im scared of people being bad to me and I cant go out and in my room I have to sit in the dark and its just all very bad. I forgot about all of that. Im an adult now and I can have the lights on when I want but I guess its upsetting for me to not be in control of that

Come to think of it, its also very upsetting when people tell me to go to bed. I talked to this one girl in my rp a lot (she doesn’t talk to me that much now, she talks to another person, I don’t know why and I do feel lonelier now but I guess she wasn’t that nice to talk to anyway so im alright) and if I was up when she woke up (8hhr time difference) she would spam me messages telling me to go to bed and I already knew my schedule but she wouldn’t shut up. I don’t know, that’s just something

Also I hate hearing people say my name. it makes me flinch every time and I think someones going to scream at me. I think that’s half the reason I wanted to change my name when I was going through gender stuff. I just didn’t want to hear that name anymore. Which is sad. Because I do love it, and maybe its not so bad when im not in this house bc its just my parents voices saying my name that really bothers me

So after 930 I went downstairs and got a candle and brought it up and I did a bit of drawing but it got annoying after about half an hour. At some point my dad came to my door and said something that I didn’t understand, so I didn’t say anything and he went away. Then I read catcher in the rye for about an hour (only got through like 35 pages) and now im writing this entry on whats left of my computer battery. Im charging my phone off of this just so it has power, since it was dying, and it looks like I have at least part of an episode of skam saved onto here so I guess im just going to watch that until I fall asleep because I always fall asleep to youtube videos. Im going to have to download some movie or something onto here so that I have that to fall asleep to in case if something like this happens again. Ok I know this was long but theres a lot of good stuff in there so hopefully this will help in therapy or something later. Things are really rough mentally right now and I just want to go home, you know. Ive wanted to go home for absolutely years, though. Idk where home is. bye

#strong blogs #8.8.17

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lady-nevermore · 7 years

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Third Session

June 5, 2017

Yesterday I:

5AM - Went to Church with my mom (been finding it really relaxing and peaceful actually).

8 AM - Accompanied and Went with my folks on running their errands.

12/ Noon - Went to the Flea Market (haven’t been in lke forever, saw a bunch of cool stuff like always) and at the behest of my parents, whom also decided to give this a go, got a message......I actually feel like it loosened me up a bit....feel a lot more: sensitive/tender around my shoulder area/neck...at least i don’t feel those damn kinks anymore....but idunno if i like feeling this tender/sensitive/vulnerable around there. >_>;

1-5 PM - Went the Grocery Store and spent the last remaining hours looking for that dratted, evasive gift-bag (more details below in a sec). >_<;

6-7 PM Ate Dinner, and Took a shower.

8-9 PM - Went to bed, and actually slept well.

Today I:

- 6:45 AM: Went with my mom, for the third/fourth time this week, walking around our local Half Library/Half Duck Pond (powered-walked for an hour and saw a bunch of the local wildlife: Squirrels, ducks, geese, robin-birds, crows, etc). It’s always very nice and soothing to see, not to mention it makes me smile. :)

- 7:00-11:00 AM: Did some housework, laundry, made and prepared dinner for tonight as well as for the following days, and tried to fix my TV (sorta worked....still pending....we’ll see).

12/Noon Ate Lunch (made myself a small Tuna Salad with cucumbers, and spinach, with a side of baby carrots, a couple of pieces of store-bought Sushi, and a granola bar); it was really nice actually. :)

1-4 PM Tried to take my mind off my nerves/anxiety a bit, managed to listen to music, and read a bit before mentally preparing myself for My Therapy appointment at 5 PM.

6-7 PM: Ate a healthy dinner and afterwards have been writing this therapy blog up till now......Looking at the clock: it’s 9PM *sigh* -___-;

9 PM - Gonna get off tumblr, take a shower and head to bed (whilst reading a fanfic); G’night y’all *yawn*

So yeah, Today and Yesterday have been semi-stressful (a little bit hectic) to say the least; Y’all remember my ‘Aunt C aka The Poor Excuse of an Aunt who emotionally traumatized/abused me when I was 5, well her daughter let’s call her “Jay” has a Graduation this upcoming Friday....Ironically enough, Jay is graduating from my old alma-mater/my old high school: AHS High.....I’m not that close to Jay for obvious reasons (I’ve sorta sub consciously stayed away/distanced myself away from them in order to avoid Aunt C.....but then again I rarely like to spend time with or at family reunions, nowadays anyways). >_>;

But that’s beside the point; I’m proud of my younger cousin, proud and happy for her: she’s an AP student, got a full scholarship to UC Davis (aka the College I’ve always dreamed of going as well as the same old alma-mater of my Old Mentor/Friend who passed away but meant a great great deal to me to the point where he left his mark/imparted his memory onto me), and who is so amazingly ambitious that my dear cousin jay dreams of becoming a Doctor. This is why I’m soo damn proud of her (tho a selfishly part of me does feel a twinge of jealousy/envy....but my happiness/pride of her is far greater), She’s probably going to be one of the few in our family who might actually achieve graduating from a legit University, and effing applaud her for that. I mean I know that we may not be close (nor do I know If I would ever want to be, considering her connection to my abuser aka my Aunt C/her mother)....But despite that, it is in my nature to try to look past that and kindly offer a gesture of happiness in congratulating her, cause I am honestly quite proud of her. :)

....Which is why I decided to impart to her what my old mentor/friend imparted onto me when I graduated from AHS High: A nice couple of (and by couple I mean 2) boxes of Tea, specifically Vanilla Chai Tea and Earl Grey ; My Mentor, let’s call him Obi-Wan (cause he was a huge die-hard fan of Star Wars), well Obi-Wan always said that Tea helped him to relax, and I wholly agree with him in this statement, it’s been around 9 years since he introduced me to the Wonders and Joy that is Tea (and 8 years since he passed away from Colon Cancer), but it’s something that I feel will always connect me to him, and in turn is my own personal means of honoring his memory.

So, I hope that my little gift/gesture to Jay (isn’t too cheap/offensive in her eyes or my Aunt C’s in that matter) and that it will help her to relax throughout her fun, but what I’m sure will be quite the stressful venture that is College/University (I dropped out, something I’m ashamed of, so I can’t talk or say much on the matter, but I do hope it’ll help Jay in the long run). I say this in all seriousness, because I ended up having a nervous-breakdown by taking waaaaay too many college-courses/classes (around 5-6 tops) what with my mentor/friend passing away, plus me struggling depression, pushing my friends outta of my life/cutting them off, as well as struggling with said classes and me being sleep-deprived on top of that didn’t help....it was just too damn much and now here I am now (struggling with anxiety and going to therapy....though my issues have been long since precedent and something that I’ve been dealing far longer) but the point is Jay is a High ranking AP student and off to a legit High Ranking University......that can’t be easy on her poor shoulders the bear, which is why I worry and hope she doesn’t repeat my mistakes........hence a few kind, meaningful, soothing words of wisdom on the graduation card I got for her, as well as the heartwarming gesture of Tea. But yeah, I hope it at the very least make her smile (and think oh, how appropriate, Tea: a nerdy gift from my dorky cousin Lady Nevermore). lol x)

So I told my Therapist that I woke up today feeling melancholic for no apparent reason (or so I thought); But my therapist thinks that I might me projecting my stress/anxiety from Yesterday (when I was trying to find/prepare the perfect gift for me to give Jay for her Graduation) onto today; She’s not wrong ....I was sorta freaking out, yesterday, that we were never going to find the perfect gift-bag for the occasion (not to mention that my indecisiveness/pickiness didn't help)...most of the gift-bags were either too tacky or not appropriate (birthday gift bags for example)....but in the end I got lucky and found the perfect one, yay! :D

So yeah, I talked to my therapist about my anxiety/fear that Jay ro my Aunt C will find my gift cheap/offensive and or worse, she’ll want to start to get close to me (and considering her connection to my abuser, having my Aunt Cas her mother)......yeah that’s not something I’m at all entirely comfortable with, like at all. :/

We talked a little bit about my Mentor/Old Friend, Obi-Wan and how his passing/death affected me aka via anxiety-terror filled nightmares, etc (but I don’t really wanna get into that atm, maybe later or some other time). We discussed how my therapist is glad that I’m continuing to go outside (going to church, walking around the library-duck pond area, and going to stores or to the grocery store with my folks; it’s been three weeks more or less of this now without me feeling too overwhelmed)

2nd Piece of Homework: Note to Self: Notice and become Aware of what triggers my depression or anxiety during stressful/anxiety-filled situation and write it down (this way we can start identifying what triggers my anxiety/depression and what me and my therapist can start to work on).

****Pretty sure I forgot a lot of other stuff, and I will probably try to add more to this later or post another one of these the following weeks, but for now this’ll have to do.

Just got back from therapy (around 6 pm-ish and it took me a while to eat dinner, not to mention get on tumblr and organize my thoughts in order to write this blog) and I’m Feeling sorta tired/drained/low-key sorta cranky and i really really really just wanna go shower and go to bed right now (and recharge); sucks cause I really wanted to start pick up where the anime in Bleach left off, and start reading the manga (Bleach) and / or watch one of the bleach movies....or another Ghibli film.....or hell, at the very least cruise on tumblr (reblogging, chatting, etc) for a bit. *sigh* Ah well, maybe tomorrow. -____-;

Welp, Later, and Good Night my dears! *hugs* :)

- Lady Nevermore

#therapy blog #therapy #Third Session #anxiety #melancholy #meh #personal

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cancerousjojian · 7 years

Text

💌 = fluff

🥀 = angst

⚡ = 500+ notes

🖤 = shay’s faves

last updated: december 30, 2019

MARVEL:

peter parker:

[COLLEGE AU SERIES MASTERLIST]

dating peter would include 💌⚡ → headcannon of dating peter parker!

graduation 💌 → post-graduation ceremony with peter featuring aunt may

ease my mind 💌🥀🖤 → a sleep-deprived peter parker admits he has feelings for you in quite unconventional circumstances

fall 💌 → spending fall with peter headcannon

stargazing 💌 → peter surprises you with a backyard camping sleepover after a particularly awful day

beautiful weather 💌 → it’s your and peter’s first date, and he’s a little nervous

traveling with peter would include 💌 → traveling to europe on a class trip with peter headcannon

stop staring at me 💌 → peter just thinks you’re really, really cute.

surprise kiss 💌 → things change when an especially surprising kiss occurs between you and peter

a kiss to hide from bad guys 💌 → peter is paranoid someone is going to find out about his secret identity. oh, and you’re looking especially beautiful.

you’re bleeding all over my carpet 💌 → you have to change your plans when peter shows up to your house with an injured eye. mentions of blood and light injuries.

i like you in my clothes 💌🖤 → peter is feeling soft when he sees you in his clothes for the first time.

stares at 💌 → again, peter parker just can’t get enough of you.

healed 💌🥀🖤 → peter is feeling a little guilty and you’re wondering how he keeps getting hurt

make it up to you 💌🥀 → peter disappears for a whole day and you start to blame yourself

learn to move on 🥀 →peter needs you more than you need him, which is a whole, whole lot. some post-endgame angst because i apparently i love to suffer.

summer headcanons 💌 → headcanons that came from the question, what would it be like to spenf the summer with peter parker?

scott lang:

dating scott lang would include 💌 → headcannons of dating our favorite ex-convict.

can’t sleep 💌🥀🖤 → you and scott are forced to act like a married couple for a mission, and scott realizes just how he feels about you.

parent teacher conferences 💌 → you’re cassie’s teacher, and you find yourself quite intimidated by her incredibly attractive dad.

fluff alphabet 💌 → exactly what it sounds like, fluff alphabet with scott.

gingerbread houses 💌 → there’s no better way to spend any given saturday night in december than a gingerbread house building competition.

part of the family 💌 → scott asks you to move in with him at the demand of none other than cassie lang.

isn’t it great? 💌 → scott looks, like, really attractive in the ant-man suit.

i could kiss you 💌🖤 → scotty falls head over heels for you and accidentally blurts it out one day.

roommate au 💌🖤 → he needs a place to stay. you need a roommate. you just didn’t expect him to be so charming.

gone 🥀 → he’s starting to disappear for days at a time, and you’re starting to worry. finally, his secret comes out.

steve rogers:

healer 💌🥀🖤 → steve is just too old for this. he gets hurt during a mission and you don’t hesitate to clean him up. mentions of light injuries.

eggnog and mistletoe 💌 → stark parties were already a weird place to be, especially when it during the holidays and you’re forced to confront your feelings about a particularly handsome super soldier.

shares a treat 💌🖤 → steve is lovesick and craving a milkshake. this fic is a result of that.

a park in brooklyn 💌🥀🖤 → steve is feeling really sentimental and in-love, and you’re feeling really tired.

a gift for you 💌 → you give steve a heartwarming gift, which makes him fall all the more in live with you.

ava starr:

ease the pain 💌🥀 → ava relies on you to help her through her roughest nights.

eddie brock:

fluff alphabet 💌 → fluff alphabet with the man himself.

having an SO with piercings headcannon 💌⚡ → venom is really confused about modern fashion.

cold weather 💌 → cuddling always helps combat cold weather, right?

there’s a leaf in your hair 💌🖤 → eddie is a sap and the romantic setting in the rain isn’t helping.

you’re beautiful 💌 → you get stood up and are feeling extra terrible. eddie is there to flirt and save the night.

you’re freezing 💌🥀 → venom saves your life and eddie picks up the pieces. mentions of violence and dark themes.

i see you 💌🥀 → you’re there to help eddie in one of the worst times of his life.

peter b. parker

gray 💌 → you find a gray hair in peter’s head and he has a midlife crisis.

massages 💌 → peter helps you relax after a stressful day at work.

first kiss 💌🖤 → you share your first kiss with peter, and it’s his first in a long time.

lazy morning kiss 💌 → peter just wants to keep cuddling with the love of his life but you insist otherwise.

spider-suit malfunction 💌🖤 → peter gets stuck in his spidersuit somehow, and you swear you’re dating a manchild. a giggly kiss is shared.

jealous 🥀 → peter is having a bad night and wants to tell you how he feels more than anything in the world.

i almost lost you 💌🥀 → being a superhero had its low nights. luckily, you’re by his side for all of them. mentions of blood and injuries.

you’ve never hurt me 🥀🖤 → peter can’t imagine what he would do without you. so he treads lightly.

fortune cookies 💌🖤 → you had a bad day, but peter helps you through it. you realize just how lucky you are.

too sober 💌 → peter is drunk and orders a pizza. that’s it, that’s the fic.

pickle jar 💌 → peter battles his most ruthless enemy yet again; a particularly stubborn pickle jar.

do you sleep anymore? 💌 → it seems like your next door neighbor is always awake and you’re starting to become concerned.

anxiety attack 🥀 → you have an anxiety attack and peter helps calm you down. heavily centers around anxiety.

pumpkin carving 💌 → based on the prompt “i just think it’s unfair to carve your pumpkin on both sides.” happy halloween!

spider-man noir:

a kiss to hide 💌 → peter needs to hide and your apartment seems like the perfect place.

a much needed hug 💌 → even an angst kin like peter needs a hug every once in a while.

i need a place to stay 💌 → peter shows up at your house asking for a place to stay. you happily oblige.

morning confession 💌 → peter is just, like, really in love with you.

tomorrow 💌🥀 → peter is trying to let you know how he feels, but he doesn’t know of anything will change unless he gets something off his chest first.

are you flirting with me? 💌🖤 → you know what they say, drunken words are sober thoughts.

caught off-guard kiss 💌 → a silly little fic about peter sneaking up on you to kiss you.

i like your face 💌🖤 → first dates were never peter’s thing. but he really wants to make this one work because you’re an angel and he thinks he loves you for real.

tackles to the ground 💌 → peter is paranoid once again and embarrasses himself when he purposely tackles you to hide himself from an enemy.

midnight calls 💌 → never call the person you’re secretly in love with at midnight. it’s a recipe for heartbreak, as peter finds out.

a kiss in the rain 💌 → yet another kiss-in-the-rain-fic because peter is a sucker for you.

fever dream 🥀 → you’re forced to leave peter in the early hours of morning, like a dream inside his resting head.

ripeter parker:

i forgot my name again 💌🥀 → peter wasn’t okay, but he will be. and you’ll be there for every step of it.

carries bridal style 💌 → peter finds you asleep on his couch one night.

carol danvers:

safe place 💌🥀🖤 → carol comes back to planet 616 with a mission. things take a turn, though, when she finds herself in the familiar company of you, the girl from her dreams.

single 💌 → sometimes breakups aren’t the worst things in the world, especially when you’ve got a certain excitable blonde who can’t stop flirting with you.

kiss in the rain 💌 →your bonfire plans with carol get cancelled when it starts literally raining on your parade, and you decide to take advantage of the romantic setting.

all yours, captain 💌🖤 → carol can get a little possessive at times. she can’t help it, you simply mean to much to her. she decides to show you just how much that could be.

i’m not going to kiss you 💌 → you swear there’s something between you and carol. one night, your suspicions are confirmed.

thinking about you 💌 → it’s late, and carol decides to visit you. feelings are admitted and a couple kisses are shared.

morning kisses 💌 → carol just looks really cute when she’s sleeping, okay?

tight spaces 💌 →uh oh! you and carol are stuck in a cramped closet together after it’s been mutually established you have feelings for each other. what ever will you two do?

natasha romanoff:

distracted 💌 → nat is up late, and you’re wondering why. you get to her to abandon her work to spend some quality time with you.

almost 💌 → based on the kiss prompt; a kiss that is leading to more but disrupted by a third party, which happens to be none other that steven rogers.

human contact 💌 → based on the prompts “do you mind if we stay like this for a little while longer?” & “i think i forgot what human contact felt like”.

traffic 💌 →based on the kiss prompts “in a vehicle + lust”

breakfast in bed 💌 → you’re hungover and natasha makes you breakfast in bed

it’s been awhile 💌🥀 → you see her for the first time in months, but things are strangely familiar.

quentin beck:

red 🥀🖤⚡ → quentin is feeling upset and undeserving once again. like always, you’re right by his side to put those feelings alseep as best you can.

how are you feeling? 🥀 → he pines for you. you ignore it. it’s angsty.

let’s go home 🥀 → based on the prompts “you’re not going to die” and “let’s go home”.

are we on a date? 💌→ quentin invites you to a lovely dinner. it’s supposed to be for work, but flirting occurs. oh well.

holding in 💌🥀 → he’s feeling stressed out and he won’t tell you anything about it. typical.

PRODIGAL SON:

malcolm bright:

a good night’s sleep 💌🥀 → it’s your first night sleeping at malcolm’s apartment after months of dating. he’s beyond and nervous and wonder if he’s made a mistake.

bruises 💌🥀 → based on the sensory prompt ‘the tender ache when you press against bruises’

cold weather 💌→based on the prompts “i love you almost as much as i love this weather” and “cuddling always helps combat cold weather”

STRANGER THINGS:

steve harrington:

dating steve harrington headcannons 💌⚡ → dating steve harrington headcannons because i love this handsome babysitter.

KINGSMAN:

eggsy ‘galahad’ unwin:

dating eggsy unwin headcannons 💌 → dating eggsy while being a kingsman headcannon

TATBILB:

peter kavinsky:

dating peter kavinsky headcannons 💌⚡ → what i would imagine dating peter kavinsky would include

THE DIRT:

tommy lee:

whole lotta blood 💌🖤 → of course their first show ends in a fist fight. you would expect nothing less of the crue, and you’re left to your own devices with tommy to clean up the mess.

still here 💌 → being sick is never any fun, especially when it’s in a crowded tour bus with three of the rowdiest rockstars in the world. luckily, tommy can count on you to take care of him.

nikki sixx:

room service 💌🥀 → you’re there to soften the blow when nikki is unexpectedly shoved into seeing deana again.

#masterlist #marvel fanfiction #peter parker imagine #scott lang imagine #steve rogers imagine #ava starr imagine #eddie brock imagine #peter b. parker imagine #ripeter imagine #spider-man noir imagine #tom holland imagine #timothee chalamet imagine

1K notes · View notes

tomeandflickcorner · 7 years

Text

OUAT Episode Analysis- Murder Most Foul

Well. That was unexpected. Not sure how I feel about the ‘gotcha’ moment at the end, though. I know they probably needed a bit of drama to drag the current CS storyline out, but...huh. Maybe it’s best to reserve judgement until I see where A&E plan to go with this new development.

We start off with the night that Charming and James were separated as babies. It turns out that during the winter, the brothers fell ill, and Ruth and Papa Charming (whose name is revealed to have been Robert) didn’t have enough money for medicine. Cue DO Rumple, who offers to give them money for medicine, on the condition they surrender one of their sons to be raised by King George. And I really love Ruth’s initial reaction to this. She actually grabs a knife, ready to defend her two sons with her life. (She did realize she was facing down a man who could reduce her to a pile of dust with just a thought, right?) But Robert decides they have no real choice, as it’s the only way to ensure their sons will live. So they, with great reluctance, agree to the terms, with James being selected via coin toss.

Apparently, that event is what led to Robert becoming an alcoholic, with him turning to the drink in an effort to escape from the pain and regret of giving up James. He admits to the bartender at a local tavern that David, now six, deserves a better father than him. At that moment, Robert is shocked when King George enters the tavern. King George announces that his son, Prince James, had been abducted, and he’s looking for anyone who has information. Robert, wanting to help his biological son, decides to take it upon himself to rescue him. And it was here that I started ‘aww-ing,’ as we see Little Boy David. (He’s so adorable.) It turns out this was the true story behind the tale Shepherd David will one day tell Anna. Little Boy David was under the impression that Malcolm was leaving home to recover from his alcoholism. But in fact, he was trying to rescue long-lost brother James. To give his father a little bit of luck, Little Boy David gives Robert his lucky coin. (Hmm. Was this the same coin used in the coin toss?)

Robert makes his way to the Dark Castle to see Rumpelstiltskin, who reveals James actually ran away. He gives Robert a ticket to the place where James went. In exchange, Robert has to give up a hair from his head. While DO Rumple initially implies he has plans for the hair, it turns out this was all an act and the ticket was a freebee. Because Robert’s determination to see James reminded DO Rumple of his own desire to reunite with his son. (Okay, fine. You get a gold star today, Rumple. I can admit when you act like a halfway decent person.)

The ticket, it turns out, allows the holder access to Pleasure Island of Pinocchio fame. (Interestingly enough, sharp eyes can spot August was actually writing about the place at the end of the last episode. Unfortunately, I can’t locate the post that pointed this out to me, so I can’t currently credit the sleuth for this observation.) Anyway, Robert makes his way there, and is even able to resist the lure of drink in his determination to find James. He does, however, have a run-in with Pinocchio, back when he was still a wooden puppet. (Not sure how Pinocchio was around back then, as he’s only supposed to be roughly ten years older than Emma, who won’t be born for another few decades, but oh well.) Thanks to that pesky trait of his nose being a lie detector, Robert figures out that Pinocchio saw James. Upon locating Little Boy James, we see he’s completely different from his adult self. He’s just a gentle little boy who doesn’t want to become a knight and kill people. Robert offers to bring Little Boy James to live with him, stating he’ll have a brother to play with. Unfortunately, the people who run the place spot them trying to leave, so they have to make a run for it. When they reach the docks, however, they find King George is there. Robert identifies himself as Little Boy James’ real father, and states he has no desire to give up his son again. As such, King George orders his guards to take Robert back to the mainland and kill him, instructing them to make it look like an accident.

I guess this is how James was able to figure out he had a twin brother somewhere. I’d always wondered how he seemed to know that information in the Underworld, despite King George never knowing there was a twin brother until after James’s death. In any event, I feel even more sorry for James than I did before. From the looks of it, all the negative traits he displayed as an adult were most likely due from being raised by King George. If he hadn’t been stuck with such a nasty piece of work, he might have turned out differently. (Seriously, A&E, can we please address those pour souls who got dropped into the River of Lost Souls? It would leave a bitter taste in my mouth if the show ended with them still trapped in there.)

Flash forward to present day, with Charming leading the Nevengers in a toast commemorating Emma’s safe return from the Wish World and defying the vision of her death at Gideon’s hand. (And I got a huge chuckle from Killian toasting with his flask instead of a wine glass.) However, when Charming later slips outside to mourn the fact that Snow can’t be present, due to the lingering curse on their shared heart, he starts to hallucinate, seeing an image of his dead father. He then collapses for some reason. Wasn’t really clear why, but I guess it’s because he’s currently sleep deprived due to his stubborn refusal to switch off with Snow until the incident with Gideon was dealt with. (Does this variation of the Sleeping Curse prevent Charming from taking a non-cursed nap or something?) Killian apparently noticed his friend collapse from the window, as he hurries out to check up on him. But Charming is too high-strung to be accepting of Killian’s concern, and resorts back to his S3 attitude, dismissing Killian as a pirate. Killian is visibly hurt by the snub, but backs off without a fight. When Killian goes back inside, however, Charming notices something on the ground- his father’s lucky coin, the one he gave his father as a boy.

The next morning, we see Charming had taken Killian’s advice and swapped with Snow, as she pays a visit to Regina. They talk a bit about Robin Clone and Regina’s decision to bring him into Storybrooke. While I am a bit put off we didn’t get to see how Snow reacted to what Emma went through while she was out, I do applaud her for talking sense here. Just because Robin Clone looks like Robin Prime, it doesn’t mean he’s the same person. (Speaking of which, was Robin Clone sleeping in Regina’s living room? With the size of Regina’s mansion, you’d think she’d have a spare bedroom on hand. What are you using all those extra rooms for, Gina?)

Meanwhile, Killian, in a surprising turn of events, pays a visit to Archie’s office. (Is this the first time they’ve interacted since the start of the Revenge arc/2B?) Turns out Killian’s still a bit hurt over the incident the night before and is worried that Charming still views him as the man he used to be, and that Emma deserves better. Killian then admits the reason why he’s so concerned with how Charming views him is because he’s planning to propose to Emma. (Insert the shrill squeeing of the CS fandom.) But, old fashioned gentleman that he is, he wants Charming’s blessing first. Archie assures Killian that everyone knows he’s a better man now, but suggests that Killian should just come out and ask Charming how he feels about him if he’s that worried about it.

Speaking of Charming, when it’s his turn to be awake again, he has another hallucination of Robert. His father accuses Charming of forgetting about him, and Charming retorts that Robert was barely his father and was just a drunk he worked hard to forget. When Charming demands Robert say what he wants, Robert says he wants ‘truth.’ This sets Charming off, and he’s now more determined than ever to solve the mystery behind his father’s death. To achieve his goal, he decides to enlist Killian’s help when the man stops by to follow Archie’s advice. Killian suggests that Charming might be better off going to Emma for help, since she’s the sheriff and has magic, but Charming refuses, stating he doesn’t want to worry her or Snow, and that they might not approve of what he might have to do. He then states he needs a pirate, completely oblivious to how Killian becomes crestfallen at his words.

They make their way to the Swan-Jones house, with Killian saying it should be empty, as Emma took Henry out on a canoe trip. But he briefly balks when he finds out Charming is planning to steal some potion ingredients to conjure up a spell. Gotta say, I’m with Killian on this one. Magic isn’t something you want to mess around with. At least not when you have no formal training. It’s like operating heavy machinery. If you don’t know what you’re doing, you could cause a lot of damage, or get badly hurt. But Charming is not to be swayed and instructs Killian to stand watch. Killian, who is desperate for the man’s approval, reluctantly goes along with it. At the same time, you see how upset he is about this. While Charming is occupied rooting around the shed, Emma returns unexpectedly, as Henry forgot to bring the life jackets. Which leads to a great scene of Killian trying to keep her distracted long enough for Charming to slip away. A task that’s not easy due to Emma’s superpower kicking in. Killian is able to get away with a half-truth, despite how uncomfortable he is with not being 100% honest with her, talking about how her near-death had made him reflect on some stuff. Obviously, we know he’s referring to his intent to propose, but he doesn’t let Emma in on that just yet. In the end, Charming is able to avoid being seen by Emma and the two men head off together.

Back at the Charming loft, Charming and Killian proceed to conjure up a spell that will show them where Robert’s lucky coin was the day that he died. (Insert cute moment with a beaker.) Despite their lack of magical training, the spell works, pointing them in the direction of Pleasure Island. Now that they have a lead, they go see August, who explains the last he saw of Robert was of him escaping Pleasure Island with Little Boy James, and that he never connected them with Charming. The knowledge that his father had been trying to save his twin brother clearly stuns Charming. August then explains that he took some pages out of Henry’s book waaaayyyy back in S1, as those pages chronicled his time in Pleasure Island, something he’s not proud of. He offers to look for them in case they reveal more about Charming’s father.

After leaving August’s place, Charming deduces who may have killed his father. However, Killian, realizing that Charming is out for blood, tries to talk him out of it, as he knows better than most what a quest for vengeance can do to you. Unfortunately, Charming takes this as a cue to handcuff Killian to a nearby bike rack in order to keep him from stopping him. He then heads right to the psychiatric ward beneath the hospital, which I guess is now used to hold long-term prisoners. There, he confronts King George/Albert Spencer, who admits he ordered Robert’s death. Charming proceeds to challenge his former adoptive father to a duel to the death. But just as Charming gains the upper hand, Killian arrives, having broken out of the handcuffs off-screen, and quickly returns King George/Albert Spencer back to his cell. Killian proceeds to try and talk Charming down, stating that while the man did admit responsibility for Robert’s death, he also told Charming that his father resisted temptation in the end, and became a father Charming could be proud of. This leads to Charming to have a full-on emotional breakdown, admitting his fears that he’ll lose everything. Killian then presents Charming with a choice. He can proceed to kill George/Albert, but first he has to remember that Robert did everything in his power to be able to look his son in the eye. He asks Charming if he wants to be a man who can look his father in the eye, too. With these words, Charming collapses and cries on Killian’s shoulder, completely overwhelmed.

Sometime later, Charming makes his way to the docks, where he makes peace with his father’s memory as he now knows that Robert did come through in the end, overcoming his vices. Killian, once again concerned for his friend, sticks around to make sure he’s okay. Charming proceeds to apologize for his behavior throughout the episode, stating that Killian was the noble one that day, and that he’s sorry for how much he risked that day, including Killian’s relationship with Emma. Upon receiving confirmation that Charming believes he’s is good enough for his daughter, Killian gathers up the courage to ask for his blessing to propose to Emma. After a brief pause that clearly makes Killian very nervous, a smiling Charming grants that blessing and the two men head off together.

However, that’s when the ‘gotcha’ moment happens. When Killian is making his way back home to Emma, blissful that there’s nothing holding him back from proposing, he’s approached by August, who located the pages pertaining to Pleasure Island. Even though he didn’t find any new information about Robert, he figured Charming might want them anyway. Killian agrees to pass them along. But after August leaves, Killian spots an illustration of Robert and is horrified to realize he recognizes him. It turns out the two guards who were hired to stage Robert’s fatal ‘accident’ were interrupted before they could complete their task. Killian, back when he was still the infamous Captain Hook (and apparently taking a slight detour during his time under Pan’s employ, as this took place when Charming/David was only six), had targeted the cart that was to be used in the frame-up with the intention of making off with some of the king’s gold. In the processes, Hook kills the two guards and then, in a tragic turn of events, he proceeds to kill Robert as well, stating he can’t afford to risk the older man keeping silent about what he’d seen on his own.

So, yeah. That stinks. I think this is the first time we’ve actually seen Killian/Hook at his most ruthless. Up until now, while we have certainly seen him do some underhanded stuff, they just….never seemed all that bad to me. Not that what he did in the past wasn’t bad, of course. But there was always something that made it not seem unforgivingly bad. It was usually just him reacting to something that set him off. But this? Yeah, this is completely different. This wasn’t just another spur-of-the moment thing. This was straight up cruelty. I think this is the first time you actually can see why he earned the reputation he had as Captain Hook. And I am wondering how Charming’s going to react if he finds out this new tidbit about his future son-in-law. I admit, I won’t be surprised if he’s initially put off by this. But I’ll also be disappointed if he doesn’t eventually come around and remember what he said about Killian in this very episode- that he has changed since then. Besides, it’s clear that Killian is deeply remorseful now that he realizes what he’s done, as he’s now back to feeling unworthy and therefore reluctant to propose to Emma. And you know, seeing as Snow forgave Regina for killing her father despite there being nothing substantial to suggest she’s remorseful for it, I expect Charming to eventually forgive Killian for this as well. Especially since Killian/Hook hadn’t realized he was responsible until just now. Unlike Regina, who knew perfectly well she was killing Snow’s father, Killian/Hook had no way of knowing this man was the father of someone he’d eventually view as a friend and brother, as well as the future grandfather of the woman he’d one day fall completely in love with.

This right here, while it is an upsetting revelation, can also serve to be the final step in Killian’s redemption. While he has admitted he’s deeply remorseful about the murders he committed during his time as vengeful Captain Hook, this is probably the first time he’s being directly confronted with the people who suffered because of it. Sure, he’s faced down people he’s hurt in the past, like Ursula and Liam 2.0. But those were either easy fixes or, in the case of Liam 2.0, more about putting an end to a vicious cycle of blood and revenge. This time, there’s no easy fix. Granted Robert was going to die regardless, but Killian/Hook had the chance to spare his life and didn’t take it. As a result, he unknowingly caused a lot of pain for people he would one day love dearly. When he gathers the courage to admit the truth to Charming and Emma, and they forgive him for it (because it’s obvious they will, with the only question being how many episodes it’ll take), it’ll be symbolic of Killian being fully absolved of his past.

Come to think of it, I think it’s a huge testament to Killian’s character that he was able to recognize Robert when he saw the illustration. Just think about it for a moment. When he killed Robert, the man was nothing to him. As far as Hook/Killian was concerned, he was just some random stranger that was in the wrong place at the wrong time. And yet, he is clearly able to remember what that man looked like, even though it’s been years since that night. I can’t see how anyone wouldn’t find that impressive.

Meanwhile, in subplot B, Regina, following Snow’s advice, starts trying to help Robin Clone acclimate himself into Storybrooke. Unfortunately, Regina gets momentarily distracted by Zelena popping by to say she won’t allow Robin Clone anywhere near Baby Robyn, stating he has no rights to his sorta-daughter. (I know, dead horse, but technically you shouldn’t have any rights to her, either, Zelena. You know, seeing as how you were Robin Prime’s rapist.) By the time Zelena leaves, Robin Clone has gone and scarpered. While out and about, Robin Clone runs into Keith/Sheriff of Nottingham. (Ah, so I guess he didn’t die at the end of ‘Lacey.’ I’ve always wondered if Gold beat him to death after the cutaway. Looks like he didn’t.) Regina steps in before Robin Clone could kill him, but this leads to a small confrontation between the two, which leads to Regina stating that, even if Robin Clone didn’t regret killing Keith now, he might later on. Okay, I’m completely okay with that line. It’s nice to see brief glimpses of redeemed Regina. If only they weren’t so rare to see. And it gets better. When Regina takes Robin Clone to her vault to tend to his hand, which was slightly injured in the struggle with Keith, we learn that Regina still hasn’t returned the hearts she collected. Finally, someone addresses that! I’m starting to like Robin Clone. He actually calls Regina out on stuff. Regina even states she knows she sounds like a hypocrite. (Did I mention I really like this Regina subplot? How’s that for a novel concept?) However, Regina insists she has changed, (then why haven’t you gotten around to returning those hearts in your possession to their rightful owners?) and that she brought Robin Clone back with her because she was hoping she could be a part of his fresh start, too. The two proceed to kiss, but it’s visibly obvious Regina feels something is off about the kiss. It doesn’t feel the same as when she kissed Robin Prime. Regina later talks to Snow about the matter. (So we get two scenes with Snow’s interactions with Regina in this episode, but none between Snow and Emma? Yeah, that’s lovely.) She begins to acknowledge that this isn’t her Robin. But that leads to her wondering who this Robin Clone is, and what he could possibly want. That question is made even worse when we see Robin Clone swiping a fancy-looking box from Regina’s vault. What he plans to do with it remains a mystery at the moment, but I doubt it’s good.

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