#i am unwell i am upset i am DISTRAUGHT i love it

[amour393]

ok. dragons rising part 2 thoughts

these will be in no particular order but I'll try to stay somewhat organized XD

spoilers ahead!

(this ah. got long)

Characters

Lloyd: As sad as I get when I think about Lloyd growing up, I love what they're doing with him. Seeing the parallels between him and Wu is so poetic and I LOVE the dynamic with Lloyd and Arin. Lloyd is kind and strong and wise and he has been treated so well in dragons rising

Arin: Speaking of, Arin is absolutely amazing. He is precious and adorable and I love him. Sweet polite boy I love you so much you have never done anything wrong ever and I love you

Sora: Sora is fine, I like her but I'm not like obsessed with her character like I am with Arin. I love Sora but I'm never super jazzed about her. Her arc in part 2 was alright but I wish it had more buildup. I think with a few more moments here and there of her trying to use her powers without Riyu would have made the payoff much better. And I know they were trying to go for a "resistance never quits" moment with her speech at the end but. Idk it just didn't hit the same

Zane: Zane I love you. I feel you I also am BROKEN over Pixal being gone. Literally everything about Zane in part 2 was perfect. I love him so much and he loves pixal so much it makes me unwell. Also. Zane Day is now an international holiday

Nya: I love Nya's dynamic with Sora and how she gets to be like. The first positive female influence in Sora's life. Especially because Nya didn't have that as a kid or uh ever so I love that. HOWEVER!!! Oh my goodness gracious give Nya feelings. She has emotions. She has trauma. What are we doing guys. I'll go episode by episode later but I am incredibly salty at how Nya was treated in episode 14. and also. OH MY WORD. WHAT ABOUT JAY. You have said his name TWICE and Cole looked more distraught than you!!! You care about this boy more than almost anyone else in the world!!!!!!!! Why aren't you acting like it???????????? I see you with a lightning dragon but that's like the most we get.

Kai: oh Kai I absolutely love how they are treating you and i also hate it. It's like with Jay gone they were like haha let's make Kai stupid so he'll be the new comic relief! However I love teacher Kai. He is my favorite, the growth, the development, the parallels! Yes! Kai is an accomplished ninja!! He's been a ninja for over 10 years at this point!! He has learned so much and grown so so much since then and I love him so much.

Wyldfyre: I'm about to make a lot of people really mad but I absolutely despise Wyldfyre. I love the concept of Kai having a kid to train (and all of them each having a next-gen kid to train) but Wyldfyre was not the right fit and I just disliked her more every time she was on screen, which was really upsetting because every time it switched back to her and Kai I was already annoyed and I don't want to be upset when Kai's onscreen but she is just so intolerable it made it hard to enjoy Kai, which is so so sad because I absolutely love Kai! Wyldfyre is selfish, arrogant, irritatingly reckless, petty, and INCREDIBLY rude and disrespectful to Kai. I don't care if she was raised in the wilderness. Kai spent all of part 2 trying to help her be better and the most of a character arc we got from her was her. Not acting like a jerk. Which we should not have to be proud of!! Not being a jerk is expected!! That's not a character arc that's just being a decent human being!! I think Wyldfyre's character could have worked in theory if she had literally any likable characteristics but she just doesn't. I don't think I have ever disliked a ninjago character this much which is such a bummer. It fills me with rage every time they compare her to Kai. Sure, in the early seasons Kai was kind of reckless and a bit self-absorbed. But not nearly to this extent, and Kai was still likable. The things about Wyldfyre they try to play off as humor aren't funny, they're just annoying or gross. I'm not opposed to the concept of Kai adopting a feral child, but if the feral child is like this then I don't want it. Replacing Wyldfyre with Skylor or a new character that is actually likable would have made Dragons Rising SO much better.

Cole: on a MUCH more positive note, I literally don't think they could have done Cole any more perfect. I am SO GLAD HE'S BACK I MISSED HIM SO MUCH. Cole being thrown into the Land of Lost Things is absolutely heartbreaking and says so much about his character. Cole, who had an entire character arc over fear of being forgotten ending up in the Land of Lost Things? I AM BROKEN. Dad Cole is back and better than ever. He found a bunch of children and immediately adopted them? Perfection. Could not be better. He actively chooses to remain in the Land of Lost Things to protect them?????? Amazing so in character it hurts and I love him so much. A lot of this season made me remember how much I love Cole. I spent this entire season freaking out over Jay that I forget how much I love Cole and this season did not fail to remind me. His first line being "NO ONE TOUCHES THESE CHILDREN!!!!!" is amazing and perfect and so in character. I cannot applaud what they did with Cole enough. Well done. I am very curious to see where Wu is leading him, can't wait to see him in season 2. I will die mad he didn't get to see Zane or Kai or Lloyd but ITS FINE IM FINE

Geo: I would throw him in with the other characters but oh my gosh. Geo's existence is absolutely perfect. The symbolism?? The metaphors?? Absolutely perfect. Him being a hybrid of two peoples who have a reputation for hating each other being the Master of Fusion, of bringing two things that don't belong together? I am destroyed. It occurs to me that when they first met Geo was probably like "yeah, I'm half geckle half munce and I was exiled from my people since they hate each other and they will never reconcile their differences" and Cole was like "Well that sucks but I have some good news for you" but then Geo couldn't even leave to try to find Shintaro. I am depressed. I love love love Geo based on his symbolism alone, not to mention the fact that his powers are genuinely super cool.

Other Characters: when i tell you I lost my BLOODY MIND when gulch showed up it is a vast understatement. I freaked out I screamed it was amazing. It was so fun seeing Gulch again. This is the dragons rising I love, new characters doing important things and running into old characters we know and love. Frohicky is fun I love him. Lobbo has never done anything wrong and I'm so proud of him for winning the Zane lookalike contest. Slay king. Jordana is uh there I guess, she's boring so far. I will give thoughts on Arrokore when I talk about episode 14

Villains: Beatrix is incredibly boring and I am SO glad she's not gonna be the actual villain. Lord Ras is much more interesting and compelling (is Chima the Wyldness????? Because he is definitely from Chima and the writers are COWARDS for saying anything different). This is the first time we've had a Ninjago plot genuinely stretch across more than one season and I am sooooo relieved that Beatrix isn't actually the big bad. I'm really excited to meet Ras' master. I'm not going to lie I literally forgot about Rapton and had to come back and talk about him. I cannot emphasize how neutral I am about him. He is a Guy and that is the extent of my feelings. Same with LaRow I keep forgetting about her

Speaking of villains! That brings us to the Administration. I absolutely love it. The concept of the Administration is so interesting and I cannot WAIT to learn more about them and see more of them. There's something so interesting and also poetic about an organization of micromanagers being part of the same realm as the Realm of Madness that just. hnng. The Administration is totally sick and i can't wait to see more of them. Which leads us to...

Jay: Hm. Ah. Where do I begin. When I tell you I screamed, I lost my freaking mind it is not an understatement. I think I've watched those same 20 seconds like 30 times at least and I need those five lines tattooed on my brain. I have so many emotions. It breaks my heart. I'm elated. This is everything I've wanted. I'm so mad that's all there was. It makes perfect sense. Why would they do this. There's something that destroys me so much about Jay- sweet, kind, fun, creative, quirky, genuine Jay- in an organization of micromanagers. He is passive-aggressive and sassy and degrading and mean and I LOVE HIM. It is so inherently not who Jay is (except for being sassy I'm so glad he's a little brat) and I think that's great. It makes me SO excited to see what they do with him in season 2. If they don't do him justice I will RIOT. This has the potential to be one of my favorite plot points in all of ninjago history if they do it right, but if they do it wrong I will be broken. He looks so good in this animation, I absolutely LOVE IT. He is beautiful and sassy and it BREAKS ME that they don't know he's there. They were so close and they missed him. No one knows Jay is there. I am destroyed. He's a manager!! He's working his way up in the world!! I am so proud of him. He would buy himself a worlds best boss mug. Everyone loves him and they hate him. I might make a whole other post just on how I need that reunion to go but. I miss him so much. So much. I don't know how long I can wait without them knowing he's there. Go find your brother. You know where everyone else is now GO FIND YOUR BROTHER!!!!

Episodes

11. Temple of the Dragon Cores - Solid episode? It makes me curious about the lore. Surely either the Wyldness or the Garden are Chima there's no way Chima is separate. There are literally snail people and giant trees. If that's not Chima core idk what is. Rapton is there I guess. The guardian thing was cool. Lloyd dropping random earth-shattering facts is such a Wu thing to do I am LIVING for it.

12. Gangs of the Sea - When I say I spent this whole episode wishing for Bentho I'm not joking. I freaking miss him why didn't they mention him it would have been so easy!! Arin you are so cute and I love you.

13. Wyldly Inappropriate - This episode filled me with so much rage solely because of Wyldfyre. I'm sorry Wyldfyre truthers I am happy for you but oh my word it's just painful. She is so arrogant and just straight up unkind I hate her so much. This episode would have been so much better with Skylor instead. Or literally anyone but Wyldfyre.

14. The Last Djinn - Ok as a skybound truther I have So Many Emotions about this episode. How did Nya know this was a place of the djinn and she was just? Fine? Ok. Arrokore is fine as a character but i absolutely hate what it did to the Djinn. Having a character who has lost their whole society is fascinating! I would have preferred if they made him more of a Ronin-type recluse, where he's extremely paranoid and distrusting instead of just straight-up depressed. All of the experience we have with Djinn is that they are extremely powerful and evil and crazy and dangerous. Switching from Nadakhan to Arrokore was such a hard shift that as a fan it was so hard to be able to enjoy Arrokore as a character. That's not the main thing I'm upset about, overall he's likable and he's fine, I just think he could have been a lot cooler. My main issue with this episode is Nya. Is she just perfectly fine? GIVE HER EMOTIONS OH MY GOSH. SHE HAS TRAUMA YOU COWARDS SHOW IT!!!!!! Literally one of THE most traumatizing times in her life was directly tied to a Djinn and she runs into one and she's just. Fine? There was pretty much NOTHING that alluded to Nya having any sort of history with the Djinn except maybe a little bit of salt when she's talking about their showmanship. A Djinn kidnapped and tortured the love of her life. A Djinn almost destroyed her entire home. A Djinn captured her and caused her own possession. A Djinn killed her (more or less). You want to look me in the eyes and tell me she's going to run into a Djinn and just be perfectly fine? Absolutely not. They could have done this SO much better. Show the trauma. Show the distrust. Show me Nya jumping in front of Sora, show me the fear running through her. Give me Sora asking how Nya knows so much about the Djinn and Nya just can't bring herself to answer. Or she does! And we get a moment of "the only other person who remembers is Jay, and he..." [ACTUALLY SAD MOMENT THAT GENUINELY SHOWS THAT NYA HAS EMOTIONS AND ACTUALLY CARES ABOUT HER LITERAL FIANCÉ WHO SHE LITERALLY GAVE UP HER LIFE FOR] and maybe Sora comforts her! A "we'll find him, Nya" moment. Just a moment. Nya left and Jay fell apart and I hate how Nya is shown to be perfectly fine when Jay has been gone for years. We could have had a little arc of Nya overcoming trauma and distrust and learning that not all Djinn are the same! Okay, fine, we didn't get that. But how dare they let Nya start wishing. Wishes got her killed. Wishes caused the most traumatic weeks of her life. Wishes almost killed the love of her life. You want to tell me that she's just totally fine firing off a few wishes? SHE DIED. GIRLY DIED AND SHE'S JUST MAKING WISHES LIKE IT'S NOTHING? We could have had a moment of Arrokore saying they have to wish for it and Nya being like "NO Sora you can't trust him, they're all the same" and then Arrokore proves himself! Even so, Nya should not have let Sora make a wish without protesting, and she CERTAINLY would not have made one herself. As a skybound stan this episode made me so sad. It was genuinely a good episode but I am so so broken up over what could and should have been. Zane did put a picture of Pixal on a broom though so this episode gets points for that

15. They Call It Doom - YOU'RE TELLING ME THE ADMINISTRATION JUST CASUALLY ALSO SHOOTS BLUE LIGHTNING. FINE OKAY THAT'S GREAT. I already shared my Nya and Arrokore and whatnot thoughts but still. I'm still salty. Anyway this episode's ending was glorious. Teacher Kai you will always be famous I'm so sorry this is the trainee you got stuck with. NO ONE TOUCHES THESE CHILDREN lives in my head rent free and his powerup is so so cool. Baby Serpentine. yes.

16. Land of Lost Things - so you're telling me that Cole has adopted stray children who have run away from home because they felt unwanted and unloved. no I'm totally fine I'm SO normal about cole and his character and the respect he got and the sacrifice of him staying there to protect these kids. I am so broken but its fine I'm fine everything is fine

17. The Administration - See aforementioned thoughts on Jay. The Administration is so cool I love them and I am stoked to see more of them. It's giving men in black tbh. They are so cool. When they follow the directions and find Zane and they're like oh hi Zane! we didn't even know you were here! A) peak comedy and B) when he said "who did you think was going to be here?" THAT WAS DIRECTLY TO US THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT JAY AND IM SO MAD AT THEM FOR IT NOT ACTUALLY THOUGH. Also I don't remember which episode Zane Day and Gulch was in but every moment of that was both perfection and also the peak of comedy. The music when Jay walks on screen destroyed me it was so so good. He is a tired office worker the headcanons were RIGHT. Cannot get over that. I love the look of the Administration, the style, it all looks so good. The concept of a whole organization with an entire division assigned to realm reassignment is fascinating. I want to see Kai's teaching in this episode is great and the parallels between him and Wu were amazing. At the end of the day Jay was here and that gave me enough serotonin to last me a good long while.

18. Absolute Power - I'm not gonna lie this was hard to enjoy because I just wanted to see more of Jay but it was a solid episode. I wanna know what Beatrix' sister's elemental power was. Ras is very cool I am so glad he's going to have a bigger role. Nya and Cole's relationship in this episode is everything to me. They are So Siblings and also Best Friends I love them so so much.

19. We Are All Dragons - good for the Imperium kids starting the revolution, but Rapton being the traitor made no sense. It's like they tried to pull a Kallus in Rebels but there was not nearly enough buildup for this to make sense. I really couldn't care less about Rapton so I'm not mad about this it just didn't make that much thematic sense lolll. I did really like Sora's moment with her parents and rejecting them in favor of the found family, but her speech didn't make sense. It would have hit so much more if she actually explained what ~being a dragon~ means but she really just went WE ARE ALL DRAGONS!! and everyone went YEAH!!!!!!!!!! like girlie uh what does that mean. I liked the parallels but Lloyd's moment was better.

20. The Power Within - I still don't understand why Beatrix wanted to uh. destroy the universe but pop off. I'm not gonna lie I literally cheered when Wyldfyre got sucked into a mergequake. Kai's reaction was in theory great but i am still salty it was over Wyldfyre, this child has been absolutely horrible to you Kai what are you doing. I don't understand how everyone is perfectly fine when everyone comes back from the merge quakes when Beatrix literally went through one of them. I loved Sora's showdown with her parents and I can't wait to see what's up with Ras. I will DIE MAD THERE'S NO MURAL ON THE WALL but WHATEVER.

Returning Characters

I want Pixal back so bad. I'm very optimistic she'll be here in season 2 and I cannot wait for her to be back. I'm hoping that she'll come save Zane from, idk, sensing his signal or something.

SKYLOR. OH MY GOODNESS BRING BACK SKYLOR. I need her back so bad it's unreal

I want Vania back. I want fugidove back. WHERE IS GARMADON. WHERE IS HE. WE HAVENT EVEN MENTIONED HIM WHERE IS HE.

I miss Ed and Edna and Lou and Cyrus Borg and Scott and the elemental masters (WHERES KARLOFF I MISS HIM SO MUCH) and BENTHO and yeah. i miss them

SO, I have a lot of thoughts as you can see and this probably isn't all of them. I want all of everyone's thoughts please send me asks send me messages I just want to scream

AND BRING BACK JAY

#that uh. got long #ninjago #dragons rising #dragons rising spoilers #ninjago dragons rising #jay walker #nya smith #cole brookstone #kai smith #ninjago wyldfyre #ninjago arin #ninjago sora #lloyd garmadon #zane julien #i miss pixal #ninjago spoilers #WOW that took longer than anticipated

[saetoru]

i think the thing that upset me the lost is how he die like offscreen out of nowhere just dead after baiting us with the end of the chapter just for him to be dead with some bs explanation

like that’s what’s pissing me off the most it wasnt even a good death scene it was just some shit gege pulled out of his ass or at least feels like it 😭😭😭

YEAH LIKE IT JIST FEELS SO. SO RANDOM AND. like idk it feels fabricated like gege can’t even work around the character he created and how to create his realistic downfall so he has to pull this out :,)

bro i was gonna go to bed without looking at leaks but ppl on dash were extra unwell and my curiosity was piqued. I REGREY IR

i don’t even think ur dramatic i think everyone’s genuinely rly not handling it well and it’s like. idk it’s not dramatic to be distraught over a character u love a lot !! sometimes u just :,) need time to process the reality that this is where their story ends so :,) i don’t blame ppl for taking time off work or school like it’s one day of many you’ll be fine. mourn satoru 🥲

bro it’s 2 am i have to be up in a few hours i can’t sleep i’m so beyond uneasy over this 🥲 like i can’t see myself sleeping any time soon :,)

gege when his whole character is a lie now 😒 whej i CATCH YOU GEGE

bro. i’m sending gege my therapy bills and if i kms my family will send him my funeral and grave and casket bills WDYM SUR

#jjk leaks

[vizthedatum]

If someone cares about me, even if they have whatever attachment style, trauma, personality type, culture, etc., then they will care about how their actions made me feel.

It is a sign of emotional maturity and alignment with me for this to occur. I consider it love and consideration… and I acknowledge that it’s hard to do if it hasn’t been modeled for you or if you’re emotionally unregulated. A lot of people may not consciously be emotionally toxic or harmful, but that doesn’t lessen the hurt or even the amount of repair that needs to be done for a relationship to thrive and continue.

—

What’s not emotional maturity based on misaligned relationships of my past? Here are some of the red flags I’ve encountered:

If they say they’re not good enough or not doing enough when you express hurt over them not meeting your needs (an example: I needed emotional support and healthcare support during a pregnancy scare (which is still ongoing - I still feel pregnant, and I am still awaiting one more test result to clinically confirm either way)).

Reversing the conversation to talk about all the struggles they’re facing when the conversation was initially about how their actions and beliefs impacted you negatively. (An example: my former best friend shutting down every conversation by talking about her hectic work schedule and how her father’s death impacted her… when both things were not relevant to the issue at hand. While these are valid things to go through and I’m not trying to minimize, they allowed her to not take any accountability for her hurtful behavior for several years (it started before her father’s death, to be honest). She would throw tantrums over completely unrelated things when the focus wasn’t on her, especially if she did something to either belittle, gossip about, or actively hurt someone else.)

Telling you that you’re too much, controlling, needy, mentally unwell, mentally unstable, reactive, unreasonable, crazy, manic, emotionally unstable, etc. when you’re expressing needs for more time, attention, and prioritization over things that you value in your connection. (I have had multiple exes deflect in arguments by distracting me from my reality of being hurt or unfulfilled by questioning my mental state.)

Causing you to feel lonely or feel that there’s something wrong with you. (If this happens, relationship repair must occur - people need to talk and figure it out. Otherwise, it can be a perpetual thorn in the relationship. It may be a sign to break up if people continue feeling this way after multiple attempts to repair.)

Telling you that they don’t know why you’re upset or continuously pushing aside (or ignoring) your hurt, when you have told them multiple times. Feigning ignorance or exasperation that you’re still upset.

Having you agree to things that goes against your personal boundaries - such as having to agree to keep parts of your relationship quiet. People often do this to gain control over situations or to cover up their careless behavior. I’ve unfortunately fallen for it and agreed to several such agreements because u thought I was being considerate, even if I was the one trying to express how hurt or silenced I felt. (Example: an ex told me not to tell my friends how hurt I was over his cheating and how he didn’t think my body type was good enough to be his girlfriend while secretly dating me.)

(Another example: my most recent ex-partner asked me to not tell my metamour about my pregnancy when I was the one who was extremely upset/distraught that they hadn’t told anyone what I was going through for weeks. I had been going through a serious pregnancy scare for at least 2-3 weeks at the time, and we were kitchen table poly. My ex-metamour also was actively reading my blog, and I knew they’d find out one way or another anyway. They were also my friend at the time. My ex-partner, marred by their thoughts/feelings of me not being pregnant, even though I plead to them that I was - framed the situation by saying that I wasn’t even sure I was pregnant (they gaslighted me multiple times) and they eventually told their other partner this information under that framing. They told their partner after I broke the agreement due to my ex-metamour guessing what I was going through. I was already going through an incredibly isolating experience where my partner wasn’t treating my experience with the level of seriousness it required, I agreed to a ridiculous agreement, I broke the agreement by telling my ex-metamour “yes” when she wanted to guess what was going on with me, and then I got yelled at… they’re still upset that I broke it while completely ignoring that I had to change my whole entire way of caring for my health while I face pregnancy symptoms for weeks.)

#emotional breadcrumbing #healing #neurodivergence #trauma #queer #love #self love #prose #heartbreak #harm reduction #emotionally toxic behaviors #relationships #relational love #relationship repair #emotional immaturity #examples

[sollucets]

i’m...........................................................................what

(between us 10, spoilers)

they,,, they broke kanchanaburi ???? HE RAN AWAY AND LEFT WIN CRYING???????? after he said??? he wouldn’t run????????? after he pinned him to the bed and promised????????????????

oh my GOD okay i am. i am unwell. genuinely what is this!!! what is this i’m gonna lose my shit

we’re just. we’re just brushing over last episode with an obviously lying i’m okay. sure. alright. no catharsis on that! we’ve got team going ‘i’ll be brave!’ and then Definitely Not Being Brave you fuckin liar. what about canon what about the mosquito bites on his neck i,,,,,, hello,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

im distraught genuinely. i cannot take this. what is this

i honestly thought they’d at least get together in a way that would upset team. like. like they’d do like uwma canon & fuck in the resort or w/e and they’d be like a loosely defined couple and then team could angst about ‘but what does that mean’ & ‘does he actually love me or is this just like before’ or whatever but still have like some level of confirmation but. but no we’re going full miscommunication heartbreak im going crazy i’m losing it

at this point i don’t possibly understand how we can still be on the ‘do you do this for everyone’ not after the two hour bike ride and the fever and the honest feelings confession but there it is right in the next episode preview. there it is. i’m inconsolable what the fuck

OH AND YOU KNOW WHAT how dare you have a scene where he says ‘i’m gonna play guitar by the river’ and then not show me team playing guitar???? not even a sad little lonely song??? for me?????????

i’m......... like, yes i am upset in the way they probably intended but i’m also not even in an intended way genuinely upset. like i don’t think this was the way to go. agh. AGH my babies my sweet children why,,,, why are we like this

oh also one more thing i really. really want to know if ‘man up’ is the actual translation for that part i really do because.

because really 

..... ahg . agh NO i am so!! what the hell

[dissolves into incoherent shrieking]

#rowan chatter #i cannot!!! believe!!!! #come ON

[asktheheirofslytherin]

My Lord,

I come seeking advice concerning my Parents.

My Father is mad at my sister and me for our shared Gift saying he isn't worth anything in our eyes because it was relatively cheap while our mother got something a bit more pricey. It was however a shared gift. It was meant to be for each object to be for both of them.

Because of this my father didn't "sleep well" and for that reason doesn't join us in visiting our relatives (his sister, her husband, their children).

This made my Mother upset that everyone is "doing their own thing". Last night they went to a gathering with their friends and me and my sister didn't join on account of feeling unwell (my sister from her vaccine, me from a bad day with social anxiety). We also didn't have shared breakfast today (what we almost never do simply because of our timetables) which upset her more.

She is mad at us for not telling her enough we love her and spending time with her. And while I understand her troubles and sadness concerning this, she also ignores that I have mental health issues that make some days really hard for me and unable and exhausting to spend time with people.

Do you have any advice for me to placate my father that he is valued and that we love our mother even if we don't always spend time with her?

(Also: Merry Christmas)

Ah. My apologies that you are navigating this familial drama. Still, this is somewhat (actually much, much) easier than whatever is happening between Bella, Rod, Lucius, and Narcissa in the next room. There is a lot of shouting. I am steering clear of it.

On to you.

I remember when Delphini was small. She was enamored by Bella, followed her around, always wanted to snuggle with her mama. When she went off to Hogwarts, Bella was distraught, but privately, knowing it was a part of growing up. Still, they had the summers.

Then, the summer Delphini was fifteen, she spent far more time with her friends than with Bella. Bella was hurt, distressed. She talked to me often about how affectionate Delphini was when she was younger, how she had lost her little girl, how Delphini now is defiant, is resistant. She claimed Delphini did not love her as much.

This was nonsense, of course: Delphini has always idolized her mother, will always love her mother dearly. But she was getting older, thinking for herself, spreading her wings. This came as a shock to Bella, who longed for "mother daughter" time as it had been when the girl was small. Narcissa went through the same with Draco, indeed, I have observed this as a common phenomenon between parents and their young adult/teenage children. They have to relearn the relationship: the shift from the caregiver and child dynamic to that of mentor and mentee, which moves, eventually, to friendship.

Parents, lacking the snuggles and constant professions of love from their small children, search for other markers to validate the familial bonds. Sometimes parents can then pick apart every action to decipher some "deeper meaning" when there is none. This causes confusion in the child.

I do not know your parents, or what they value most. But it seems your mother values time. This can be easily remedied without draining you too much. Perhaps you and your sister can propose to spend an afternoon with her, once a month. You can go to lunch, do an activity you both enjoy - a hike, a sport, a film. Perhaps if she wants to spend one on one time with you, your sister can commit to a day and you can commit to a different day. Depending on your relationship with your mother, it may be awkward at first, but as routine sets in, conversation will flow easier, and you will come to understand one another as individuals easier. To this day, Delphi and Bella look forward to gossiping over a mug of tea twice a month at their favorite place on Diagon Alley.

As for your Father, I am not entirely sure what he wants. Expecting an expensive gift from two young daughters who are likely both still students seems odd and misguided. Perhaps that is merely how he interprets affection - could the two of you can also spend a day with him? Perhaps attending a quiddich game, or a musical concert, or if you are incapable of crowded spaces, perhaps the three of you can cook a meal together or something quiet - whatever, again, your shared interests are. Delphi and I spend time together through dueling. It is, dare I say, great fun.

But something does tell me the gift is not truly what matters - and words of affirmation - however well intentioned and truthful - do tend to ring hollow when the person remains feeling disconnected.

I do hope this helps.

Best of Luck,

-Lord Voldemort

#voldemort #parents #relationships #family dynamics #children #teenagers #growing up #time #its tricky balancing your growing freedom #with family time #and your obligations #and your mental health #and i hope it works out so everyone feels loved and included #and when everyone feels loved and included #then you might find it is easier to communicate your needs as well! #good luck! #prescheduled volding

[carewyncromwell]

I hope you feel better soon, cherie!! Headcanon for Jackson x Monty or for Bat & Grim? - cursebreakerfarrier

Thank you, hon -- I am feeling a lot better, thanks to the caring of friends like you. *virtual huggle-snuggle* <3

OUR BOYS. “Or” nothing, I’m doing both. >3

When Jackson was in denial over his feelings for Monty, he took to drinking a lot more heavily so as to escape from his conflict about the whole situation. Given that Jackson goes over-happy when he’s drunk, it helped him kind of forget his hang-ups and gloomier feelings, but it also made it a bit hard at first for anyone to tell anything was wrong. Monty and Adelia @that-ravenpuff-witch were the first people to get the feeling something was up, and their suspicions were confirmed when Jackson ended up so drunk one night that he passed out from alcohol poisoning and ended up in the Hospital Wing.

When Jackson woke up and immediately tried to force himself out of the Hospital Wing (Jackie boy HATES hospitals) despite being too ill and weak to properly move, Adelia confronted him about his drinking and flat-out told him he had to stop. Monty tried to soothe Adelia, his first instinct being to be gentle with Jackson since he was clearly both unwell and unhappy, but that only seemed to make Jackson more upset, as it reminded him all the more of how much Monty always universally supported him, even when he so clearly didn’t deserve it. He was so distraught that he turned into an adder and slithered out of the Hospital Wing, leaving both his best friend and the subject of his affection alone and very anxious.

This event was what really prompted Monty to talk to Jackson alone and put their feelings out in the open, confessing to Jackson how he felt and how worried he was about him. Jackson took a long while before he was able to admit the same (thanks, Daddy Eglinton, for screwing up this perfectly wonderful boy with your homophobic toxic masculinity >>), but eventually the two men were enveloped in each other’s arms, Jackson trying desperately not to cry as he clung onto Monty like he was his life line. The Slytherin didn’t end up actually bursting into full-on tears until he met up with Adelia and confessed to her that he was gay and that he liked Monty -- fortunately the tears were of relief, upon Adelia instantly expressing love and support.

When Bat learned that Atticus has had a soft spot for trains since his youth, the vampire went out of his way to do some extra work for the Honeydukes family organizing their inventory after hours and doing some freelance research for some of his associates so he could save up enough money to buy Atticus a miniature model of the Hogwarts Express that next Christmas. It was a bit of a challenge for Bat, since Dervish and Bangs was stuffed to the brim with way too many people, but Teddy Ellison actually volunteered to help Bat out by going in with Bat’s money, buying the train for him, and then bringing it back out to him. Bat then wrapped the box up in brown paper with a handwritten card inside and tied it up with blue and shiny bronze ribbons, before sneakily dropping it off in dog form on Atticus’s desk on Christmas Eve so he could find it in the morning.

Send me one of my characters, I’ll give you a headcanon!

#headcanon ask #jackson knightly #montelimar bloom #adelia selwyn #atticus grimsley #bartholomew varney #teddy ellison #other people's mcs #about jackson

[ladyeleanorfortescue]

Flashback

Evening, September 2nd 1809

Mary was now Baroness Killenaigh. She was shipped off to Gloucestershire, not even a true honeymoon to look forward to, for the husband would not risk it amidst the war and with his age. Eleanor thought of Miss Fenella Stuart back in Tyrehampton, who had married an older man, too, but had been gifted a voyage around the most mystical places... But Mary was not Fenella. Mary found little joy in life. Mary did what was asked of her. Mary settled for the future their parents had planned. Eleanor... She did too, she supposed... And that notion had her stomach on the tightest knot it had ever been in. What was silent rebellion worth? Not a penny... But did she have the guts to voice it? And lose it all? 

"Eleanor, do you truly despise Baron Killenaigh so much?" Anne asked as they went into the room she had shared with Mary, pulling her sister out of her thoughts, "You do not even know him."

Eleanor sighed, letting herself fall on Anne's bed. Her sister did not understand, it was not the groom that made her unhappy.

"No, Annie," her sad eyes gazing intently at the ceiling. "I despise a marriage without affection. Without love. A marriage of convenience... Mary might not mind, but I do. And you must too, do you not? Alas! We, too, shall be forced into them!" 

"Ellie, Mary has not been forced. And you know very well affection can come after taking the vows..." the fragile Fortescue tried to reason with Eleanor as she sat on a corner of the bed.

"And what if it does not?" the wretched lady did not move but her eyes found her sister's.

Silence. Anne was searching for the words to reply when her sister broke it. 

"What if one's affection is already elsewhere?"

"Perhaps one could marry that elsewhere," the elder joked lightly. 

"Oh, Anne, if only it were all that simple!" Eleanor's despairing hands came to her face, "What if elsewhere had no fortune? And no title? What if elsewhere was everything our parents, society, would disapprove of?" she propped herself up on her elbows, her expression contorted with sadness and worry. She had thought herself so bold while away… Now, her braveness was outnumbered, harassed. 

Anne began to understand. Her sister had been behaving strangely ever since she had arrived in London and it was clear now the only cause had not been the wedding. Had Eleanor given her heart away? What exactly had happened? She feared the worst and had to muster the courage to dare ask… 

"Is elsewhere somewhere?" her tone was soft, shy. She had always thought Eleanor too quick to trust, too quick to love... She did not think it the fatal flaw the rest of the family did, but it was certainly a dangerous thing. And how afflicted she was! Something serious certainly had come to pass... 

"Yes," was all the reply Anne received before Eleanor plunged back into the mattress. The younger girl would have started crying if had she not shed all the tears in her system already, bitter resignation clouding her judgement.

Silence. Again. Anne did not know what to say. She had little experience with the world, with people, with men... She was curious about love, but sensible enough to know it forbidden. And where could she come across it anyway? An invalid, locked up in a room most of the time... 

"Can I know his name?" Anne asked. It was by far the less intruding of the questions cluttering her throat. 

Ellie hesitated. Speaking it out loud… 

"Jack..." she revealed after a moment's thought, her hand moving up to the fine silver chain hanging down her neck.

A Christian name. No last name or preceding title... Eleanor had already revealed he was no man of fortune, it was not that the reason why Anne's face contorted in worry, but the realization of the importance of it all. Had Eleanor already taken such liberties? Established such a confidential and perilous attachment? 

"Ellie..." Anne began, but whatever she intended to say was lost forever when she was abruptly cut off.

"I know what you will say. Exactly what Verity said the first time I told her of it... What I thought." 

Anne looked at her sister, surprised. She felt hurt and displaced at finding out Miss Hawkins had known before her... But she also understood Verity had been there, at hand's reach, and she had not. 

Eleanor did not seem to notice anything, absorbed as she was by her own feelings. The usual. 

"But I do not want to hear it, Anne. It is over. Do you hear me? We... We know it is impossible... We know it is more trouble than it is worth..." Except it was not. Eleanor was each day more certain that she would throw it all away for a mere second at his side. And since that last meeting she had been harbouring the intention of doing so if he allowed… She was essentially lying to Anne, pretending there was nothing to be concerned of… She pressed her lips together, tears dwindling from her lashes. "We said our goodbyes. You do not have to worry... I am not ruined, you see? No need to tell mother." She tried to joke, but it did not come out right. And tears slipped down her cheeks. "It is over, but that does not mean I cannot dream... "

Anne did not know what to believe. And her heart felt a pang at the miserable sight of her sister's suffering.

"Was it this?" Anne said, composed but tremendously concerned. "Why you cried before? When you left London?" 

"No," Eleanor sobbed and sat up, "No, back then I could not even imagine- I- He-

Annie studied her intently as she seemed to tidy her thoughts. 

"My friend, Sir Percy Blackmore," Eleanor continued, "My tears were for him. He… passed away, as you know... And it broke my heart. He was... So very kind. And so very young!" 

Anne wondered what hid behind Eleanor's words, how could she had possibly been so afflicted by the death of someone she had known but a month or so? Her pain back then had not resembled the pain she was usually assaulted with when hearing of the misfortunes of a brief acquaintance. Anne had then suspected it to be an affair of the heart... And she had not been completely wrong, for so it had been. But in Eleanor's eyes, mistakenly so. And it pained her. For she had not known herself or her feelings. And because there was a witness to her foolishness... One that, now, had been the beholder of her feverish passions twice. One she feared thought her inconstant and deluded... Of course the witness in question was Miss Verity Hawkins. 

"And I do not- I was not in love with him," Eleanor assured Anne, wiping tears away from her eyes, her cheeks growing scarlett. "Although I then believed so. I... I suppose I could have come to love him... But I do not think he could have come to love me. And... Oh, it is no use wondering what might have been... He is... dead..." Although she had not really been enamoured with him, she still esteemed him greatly and it was hard to speak of his disappearance from the earthly plane. "And my heart is elsewhere now..."

Surely if Eleanor had had a change of heart before, she could have one again, Anne thought, mistaking her for the feeble, forgetful creature Eleanor herself feared to appear as. But it was not so. Eleanor's affections were not fleeting... She was quick to trust, but never quick to forget... Every person she encountered left an imprint on her soul. But her soul had never been touched in such a manner before and of that she was certain as she was certain the sun rose in the East... 

"But it shall return to you," Lady Anne determined, earning a stern look from her younger sister. "If it is over, surely he cannot keep it forever..." 

"And what do you know, Anne?!" outraged, the younger girl rose to her feet. "He can keep it for as long as I wish him to! But I suppose you would not understand, you are just like the rest of them!" She spat. "Mother! Hester! Hugh! And now Mary! Joined in holy matrimony for the sake of duty! Of advancement! Of nothing better to do! Unfeeling, insensitive beings! They would dismiss love if it came knocking on their door as they would do a poor peddler! But I thought you to be different! I thought you were like George and I! I thought you would understand."

"How can I understand you, Eleanor, if you do not talk to me?" Anne's eyes were stinging, her pale countenance barely coloured by ache. 

"And how can I talk to you when you think so badly of me?!" 

Her sharp tone, her words made her head hurt, made her fingers tingle… Anne closed her eyes for a moment, pride keeping her from showing weakness. 

"I? Think badly of you?" she muttered, trying to focus on the face of the upset young woman. "I have lent you my ears for you to flood them with your troubles for years!" 

"Well, then you must not be a very good listener! For you do not know me at all! Your ears may be up for lease, but my heart is not!" Eleanor cried, turning her back to Anne, to her subtle, unspoken accusations. And to the very possibility of them level pegging with the truth. 

"I never said…" Anne winced, bringing a hand to her forehead. 

And, for the third time: Silence. A silence that unnerved distraught Eleanor, who still had many frustrations to take out on her poor innocent sister. 

"What? You never said what?" she turned back to face Anne, but found her in such a deplorable state that guilt immediately settled on her being. "Anne? " she asked in a distressed tone, the fire well put out, as she neared her, regret already eating her out… "Anne," she insisted when she received no reply but a barely audible grunt, "Anne, is it happening again?" Eleanor took her hand, "Annie, Annie, lay down, lay down," said she as she helped her do so. When nervous or afflicted, she had the annoying habit of repeating everything twice. "I shall go get Verity! She will make you some tea-"

"No," Anne muttered, grabbing feebly onto her sister's arm. "I am all right," the poor, frail girl, unable to hold a grudge for long mumbled, her eyelids fluttering open to prove it. And it was no lie… That was a trifle compared to the actual episodes. "I am simply tired… Do not bring Miss Hawkins,"

"Are you sure? Oh, Anne, if you feel so terribly unwell-

"I do not." 

"But I gave you cause for distress, I am so sorry!" Ellie leaned onto her sister's arm, "I take it back, I take it back! I am so sorry, so sorry, forgive me!" 

"I shall if you stop screaming…" Annie tried to joke, but her eyes flickered shut as sharp pain shot through her head. 

"Annie, please! Verity could he-

"Eleanor, do not disturb Miss Hawkins on my account. I am perfectly fine. If you do wish to disturb someone, let it be Hannah," the elder girl said as she felt for her pulse in her wrist, quite convinced she would not pass out. 

"Hannah? What does Hannah know of your treatment?" 

"I do not wish to be treated, Ellie, I wish to go to bed," and she was quite resolved to do it. "It has been a long day, I have exhausted myself beyond my possibilities… Call Hannah to help me prepare for bed."

"Oh… Very well. But I shall come and check on you every hour!" Eleanor, the picture of culpability, swore. 

"As long as you do not wake me," Annie said, knowing full well the promise would not be brought to fruition. 

"I shan't," the words were solemnly delivered and, with a gentle squeeze of her sister's hand, Eleanor went out the room. 

#Story #Flashback #Anne Fortescue #Ellie & Annie

[allyoudoisallyouare]

TW: Assault, Sexual Pressure, Depression, Thoughts of Suicide

THIS TEXT POST IS A STORY ABOUT AN ABUSIVE ENCOUNTER I HAD. PLEASE TAKE CAUTION AND MIND THE CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNINGS. I LOVE YOU. Hi. I was assaulted. Damn, that feels good to say. But it, well, also feels bad, you know? Let me tell you how this happened. About a year ago, a good friend and ex-partner of mine had a mental breakdown and was basically diagnosed with psychosis inducing bipolar disorder, or severe bipolar 1. Now, this is not a surprise to me, as this man has been very unwell, for a very long time, and things were not only going bad in his house, but in his life. So he had a full blown psychotic break down, landed himself in the hospital, and I walked him through most of it. Skip forward about 10/11 months to just after the new year and he and I are friends again. We hook up a few times because, well, love right? Skip forward to Saturday the 4th of February, 2017, 3:00am, a few too many drinks and he and I making out in my friends bed, I tell him no, I don't want to have sex. (Note, it's his birthday, technically, and I have already reciprocated sexually previously in the evening. I no longer wish to have sex, as my medication (Zoloft, now Lexapro) make it hard for me to have any sex drive at all.) He doesn't listen the first few times and continues to kiss me and hold me to him, which is fine at first because he's making me laugh and teasing me, but eventually gets to the point where I'm saying no, and asking him to let go, and asking if we can just lie on the bed together, and he's not listening. So I pull away, and he's strong to the point where I'm straining not to get pulled down again and I say: "If I feel pressured, I will not want to continue. Can we stop for a second?" Let me give you some context: I am a childhood sexual assault survivor, and have been assaulted and injured in my life before. He knows this and respects it and gives me space when I need it. This is not the first time he has heard "no", "stop", or "I don't want to", but this is the first time he has not listened to or respected me about it. Back to the moment: he stops, drops his arms, and looks away from me, breathing out very quickly and sighing very deeply. I'm confused. What did I say? Did I offend him? I move to kiss him on the cheek and lay on his chest, because I don't put up with sulking, childish behavior, and he less-than-gently moves me off of him and says: "Well then lets just stop, if I'm pressuring you. I guess that's what I'm doing so I don't want to anymore." At this point, I'm more than confused. Not only have I NOT said outright that he was pressuring me, I had asked him to stop multiple times and HE hadn't been listening, but suddenly I'm the bad-guy here? Okay, cool, whatever. So he gets off the bed, and I follow him, asking to speak with him and getting further and further frustrated when he continues to say "no. I'd rather have another shot." So he takes another shot. And I ask him, again, "can we please talk about this? I didn't mean to hurt your feelings but I'd really like to have a conversation." So instead of saying anything, he storms out of the room. (NOTE: This is all happening in FRONT of our friends. They bore witness to him doing this.) As I do whenever he's being absolutely ridiculous and ignoring me, I follow him. (This is a pattern in our relationship). I grab his shirt edge or his wrist or some part of his body and say "hey, please talk to me." And he turns and shoves me, hard, into the wall and gets into my face and says: "You are not stronger than me." And then pushes me again, a little softer this time, and turns to walk away. I say: "push me again and I will walk out of your house and never come back." So he puts his hand right in the middle of my chest and pushes, hard enough that I now I have a sore imprint of his hand on my chest bone. He says: "do whatever the fuck you want to do." And walks away. As I walk back into the bedroom, now sobbing, a friend follows him to try to calm him down. I am trying to explain to them what's going on, but am so distraught all I can do is lay on the bottom bunk of this bunk bed we were already in and sob into my best friends chest. So about ten minutes pass and I explain what happens and he comes stumbling back into the bedroom with a grin on his face. I'm confused, and still sobbing, and now panicky, because I don't want to upset him further, and his face drops when he sees me crying and asks what's wrong, as if nothing happens, as if he didn't just assault me three times in the hall. I try to explain in my voice-shaking way, and his face falls into extreme anger and he looks at me as if he wants to hit me and yells: "Great, glad I'm a fucking rapist in your eyes! Go fuck yourself, get the fuck out of my house." And slams the door. At this point I am distraught to the point of uncontrollable tears. I can't speak, I can't breathe, I can't do anything but cry. So we decide to go on a walk. At this point, it's about 4:00am. I want to get out of this house I feel trapped in, but I have no where to go as the bus-lines aren't running and my best friend who lives elsewhere is asleep at his own house. So we go to the convenience store down the street and I buy a new pack of cigarettes and I talk to HIS best friend about what the fuck is going on and why he doesn't remember and other things. I scream. I yell. I kick over a trash can. I suppose I'm lucky I didn't get the cops called on me, because I was being very loud and crying very hard. Now, flash-forward to getting back to the house. HIS best friend distracts him while I speed-walk into the bedroom and talk to his roommates about what's going on and the fact that he needs help. (Note: he has been off his bipolar medication for about three months at this point, and it was really, REALLY helping his psychosis. I have seen glimpses of him spiraling, and talked to him and one of his roommates about it, but never too in depth.) Now he really needs help. So I'm going outside to smoke a cigarette, and I have to pass him, of course, and say "excuse me" and he looks confused and concerned because I won't make eye-contact with him or look at him. I go out into their backyard to smoke, and I'm talking to a friend, and when we come back in, he opens the door. Now he's pissed. Because he's been trying to get me to talk to him for 20 minutes. It is 4:45 am. I am tired and I and others have already explained the situation to him three or four times. He still does not understand or remember. So he yells my name. And I ignore him. I go to wake up my friend who's asleep on the couch, to get her to come to bed so we can sleep. And he yells my name again, standing in the entrance of the living room and looking at me with hurt and confusion plastered to his face. I look at him, for the first time in almost two hours, and he raises his arms in a shrug that says "what gives?". I shrug back, get my friend to wake up, and tell her we should go to bed. As I'm walking towards the bedroom, I look at him, a hard, critical look and go: "What now, what do you want now?" And he says: "why are you pissed? I don't understand? Why won't you just talk to me?" I realize at this point my friend is still asleep and walk back to her on the couch. He follows, and yells, or screams at me: "Just fucking talk to me or get the fuck out!" And I turn to him and say: "trust me, I will." And he moves as if to grab me and I say: "do not touch me." He asks me why, I ignore him. He asks me to talk, I say I don't want to. I tell him to ask someone else. I go towards the bedroom, trying to strip off my layers, and he follows me, followed by another friend who's trying to get him to stop. I stop in the bedroom and turn around; he walks towards me and grabs my face: "Talk to me, what the fuck did I do?!" "Don't touch me!" "Fine, I won't ever touch you again, how about that?!" "That sounds like an incredibly good plan!" "WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO YOU?!" He proceeds to scream at me about talking, how I just need to talk, and my strong and calm resolve is breaking, and I'm crying again, and he won't stop screaming, so I tell him to calm down, and he says no. So I start talking; "Look, I've explained this to you three times already and you haven't gotten it. We've explained, and explained and you forget or don't listen or freak out, and you're not well, and you need help, you really need help. More help than we can give you, more help than I can give you, because-" and at some point he cut me off to scream at me some more, and then shoved me into the bunk bed, where I hit the ladder with my side and arm, and fell to the floor pretty hard. At this point, a friend intervened and I got away. I could hear him screaming at his best friend, and I could hear him screaming my name, and I was scared. It ended after that. I left pretty quickly afterwards and went home with his best friend. I left at 5:52 am. And I promised to myself to never step foot near him again. Moral of the story? I was assaulted, even though I don't want to believe it or see it. I was assaulted by someone I love, who I felt safe around, and who was supposed to love me. I was assaulted in a minor way, I was shoved and it shouldn't be a big deal, but it is. He left bruises on my body and scars on my mental state. He assaulted me, he did not respect my limits, he screamed at me, and I have never been so terrified in my life. I was assaulted, and if you think you're being abused because someone doesn't listen when you say no, doesn't care when you are uncomfortable, won't calm down enough to talk to you, won't explain what's wrong but will take it out on you anyway, walk away. Actually, don't walk. Run. Because assault can be as little as a shove when you're least expecting it, but it could end in you being shoved into a bed and scared for your own life. Take caution with yourself. Take care.

#text post #tw assault #assault tw #domestic violence tw #partner #mental illness #mental instability #mental ill health #help #self help #taking care #bipolar #psychosis #trigger warning #tw mental illness #tw bipolar disorder #mental disorder #tw mental disorders #story #story time #tw abuse #abuse tw #my story #assault mention #assaulted #life #life story #ex boyfriend #ex partner