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floralseokjin · 4 years

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⤑ made-up love song i.

Your first encounter with Kim Seokjin doesn’t go so well, nor your second, or your third… and maybe that’s because it shouldn’t work on paper. You’re an elementary school teacher living with your best friend, and have never left the country despite hitting the third decade of your life not so long ago. He’s the dad of one of your students, nearly a decade older than you and divorced. Oh yes, and just another minor detail – he’s a multimillionaire.

Your lives are lightyears apart, yet somehow, your paths having now crossed, things just seem to fall into place…

pairing; kim seokjin x reader genre/warnings; strangers to lovers, romance, eventual smut, eventual angst, single dad! seokjin, ceo! seokjin, elementary school teacher! oc, age gap (oc is 30, seokjin is 37), seokjin is a dilf, not really much to warn in this first chapter, there’s some flirting, oc doesn’t want to admit she finds seokjin dishy, she’s possibly in denial that there’s a spark there, jimin and soobin appear 🥰 words; 11,028

↪︎ chapter index

chapters; i • ii • iii • iv • v • vi • vii • viii • ix • x • epilogue (+ drabbles)

You hated being late. Not only did you pride yourself on your impeccable time management but sleeping through your alarm always threw you out of whack for the rest of the day. You blamed the annual student reports that had to be written. No matter how organised you were, every year they seemed to sneak up on you and disrupt your prompt 11pm bedtime. You’d been still awake past 1am last night, determined to give each student the report they deserved. The yearly parent-teacher meetings were tomorrow (Friday) and Monday evening; it was officially the end of the school year countdown, which was ironically the most difficult time of the year.

No wonder your stress levels were so high lately. You felt like a ticking timebomb, wondering what on earth would set you off – because it was inevitable. This morning it could have been a number of things… Your inability to awake when your alarm went off, the fact your clothes were still slightly damp from insufficient drying time, your forgotten lunch still at home in the refrigerator, or now, your current predicament – you couldn’t find a space to park your car.

You always got to work an hour early, that way you had enough time to get ready for the school day before the student’s turned up and the teacher’s parking lot was empty. You had your pick of spaces. Today however, with just fifteen minutes to spare before class began, you didn’t have much choice. The spot that required you to reverse in between two cars, or the one that was secluded but came with a price – the sun’s hotspot.

You were stopped idly between the two, mentally making you decision while also damning this day to hell, when suddenly there was a thud and you jerked forwards, a gasp escaping your fallen mouth. Your hands had unconsciously clenched around the steering wheel so you ever so slowly eased up, straightening your back as you caught a look in the rear-view mirror.

“Oh, my god.” You breathed quietly, reaction time delayed greatly. Shock probably.

You watched as a black car – twice the size of yours and almost blindingly shiny – pulled away from the side of your vehicle, back into the space they’d just reversed out of. They’d hit you. You’d been hit. As if this day couldn’t get any worse. It wasn’t even 8am.

There was a clunk of a car door and then a man in a suit came hurrying into view, as fast as he could manage, a look of pure horror on his face. Still on autopilot, you felt your hand reach for the handle of your door, pushing it open to find yourself getting out.

“Are you okay?” The well-dressed man asked, panic evident in his voice. The very well-dressed man. His suit was a three-piece, black and white houndstooth. It looked expensive. Which just seemed to piss you off for some unexplainable reason.

You were fine of course, dazed maybe, the blow hadn’t been that serious at all, but that was besides the point. This man, in his very obnoxious suit (even if it did hug his body in extremely cruel ways) had not been concentrating. He’d reversed straight into your poor little car that was no match for his hefty thing. Your shock was shifting. In its place grew anger.

When you didn’t reply, than man carried on. “I am so sorry, Miss.” An annoying shrill sounded between you both. The cell phone in his hand. He ignored it – or at least tried to. “I really am. I was–”

He stopped abruptly midsentence, letting out a huff. Whoever was calling him wasn’t relenting. He picked up, talking quickly, an air of authority to his voice that caught your attention. “Kim Seokjin, speaking. Please can I – I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to call you back. There’s been an emergency.” A pause as the person on the other end of the line spoke. They weren’t given much time. “Thank you for understanding. Goodbye.”

The man – Kim Seokjin apparently – hung up, attention immediately back on you. “I’m just so sorry. Is there any damage?” He made his way over to the place he’d hit, just above your back wheel, crouching down, and grimaced. “Oh god.”

You followed, coming face to face with the black scratches that now marred the white paint of your vehicle. It wasn’t so bad, he hadn’t sped out of the space, but something had definitely scraped the steel, and again, that was beside the point. He’d still reversed into your car.

“The bike rack,” he muttered to himself. Your answer. He looked across at his car, brushing a hand through his hair. It stayed perfectly in place, pushed back above his forehead. He was a striking man, you’d give him that. Features made up of, what you could only describe as soft angles. Actually, thinking about it, he was pretty intimidatingly beautiful. That just made you angrier. How dare this stranger unnerve you with his good looks.

“What happened?” You asked hotly.

He looked up at you, taken back by your tone, but composed himself fairly quickly. “I-I was distracted for a moment, I didn’t realise–”

“Were you on your phone?”

“I’m sorry?” You looked down at the device still in his hand. On cue it started ringing again. He hit ignore straight away. “No, no. God, no.” He protested, shoving the phone into the inside pocket of his suit jacket. He straightened up, head and shoulders above you. You crossed your arms and waited for his explanation, straining as tall as you could get. His cologne smelt amazing, you tried to ignore it.

“I was – I was trying to get the handsfree to work in this damn car and last time I checked there was no one there.” He seemed flustered. A far cry from the authoritative figure he’d been on the phone call. “I wasn’t thinking, I just backed out –” He stopped, as if he suddenly realised something. “Why… Why were you on stop directly behind me?”

“Excuse me?” You instantly got defensive, hands waving about animatedly as you explained “I wasn’t stopped, I was trying to find a space.”

You hadn’t been aware there was someone occupying the vehicle. No one left the staff parking lot in the morning so there was never any worry about somebody reversing into you. This was all on him. He wasn’t going to try and turn it around on you.

“I’m sorry, but do you even work here?” This school was small, he definitely wasn’t a teacher here, and you doubted he was a substitute. He was too well-dressed for a start. Who the hell was he?!

He looked momentarily confused. “Work here? No.”

“Then why are you using the teacher’s parking lot?” Your arms were folded across your chest again.

His eyes widened in horror, realisation setting in. “Oh no. I didn’t realise...”

“It’s signposted.” His mistake seemed genuine, but that really wouldn’t cut it. Because of his mistake your car was now scratched. You’d have to contact your insurance company and god only knows if they would pay out seeing as the damage was really only cosmetic, and if they did, it would probably take an age.

“It’s my first time dropping off my daughter at this school. I didn’t know where to go, and I was getting so many phone calls, I was just trying to…” He petered out, realising you probably didn’t care about his morning. So what? He was having a shitty one? So were you!

“There’s no excuses for this.” He lowered his head in apology. “I’m truly sorry and I feel awful.”

You found yourself softening. He did sound extremely genuine. You opened your mouth to reply, to accept his apology, but he spoke up again. “Let me sort this out. Money is no object. I can call my mechanic straight away and–”

“There’s no need,” you told him immediately, horror stricken.

“It’s really no problem.” He insisted. “Come on, if we wait for our insurance companies to sort this out god knows how long it will take. No, I’ll phone the mechanic I use right now and they can come and pick your vehicle up. It’ll be fixed in no time. You won’t have to pay a thing.”

“No, thank you.” Your anger was growing again. Irritation itching your face. Who did this man think he was? Money didn’t solve everything. Most people didn’t have that luxury.

“No?”

His bewilderment made you see red. “I don’t need your help or your money.”

You could be very stubborn when you wanted to be. You’d been told so throughout your life; family, friends, exes… No, you’d just pay for the repairs yourself. You’d rather wake up late for an eternity than take his money.

“But I did this.”

He really wasn’t getting it. “It’s fine, just –” You were interrupted by the ringing of his cell phone again. “You’re obviously very busy, just forget about it. It’s a few scratches.” You turned your back to him, glancing at your watch. You had just under two minutes to decide on a parking space and get to your classroom.

“Wait,” he called out.

“Goodbye,” you called back, rounding the front of your car to dive back into the driver’s seat.

“But – Argh!” You heard him let out a yell, his phone still shrilling loudly. He sounded frustrated when he answered. “Soobin, what is it?! Yes, I already told him I’m – What? He said they were…”

He became inaudible as you slammed your door shut, using his distraction to drive off – straight into the easiest parking spot available… You guessed your poor car would have to turn into a damn sauna for today.

After the morning you had you were thrown all out of whack. All day you didn’t know whether you were coming or going, your students seeming more hyper than usual and by 3pm you were ecstatic to see them leave. Your head was throbbing by the time half 4 rolled around, the final touches to your student reports complete at least. Not long after you trudged in the direction of your boiling hot car, stomach still queasy from the canteen slop you’d been forced to eat today and stress levels now barely manageable. Only one more day until the weekend, yet now you’d be forced to deal with finding an affordable mechanic with your free time.

You were still in disbelief over today’s events. That frustratingly handsome stranger with the concentration levels of a two year old and more money than sense. You scoffed to yourself, how dare he try to flaunt his wealth around like that. What had his name been again? He’d said on the phone… You couldn’t remember, your temper had been too distracting…

Whelp. You were having second thoughts… Maybe you’d been too harsh earlier… You hadn’t been overly rude at all, but you had been quite curt. He did seem genuinely sorry after all, and maybe you’d misjudged what you guessed was an act of kindness. After all, you had been on stop behind him, and while he should’ve double checked before backing out, it wasn’t all on him. You were both to blame. You felt guilty for not thanking him for his apology. For your preconceived opinions on him. You didn’t even know the man and there you were making judgements –

You stopped dead in your tracks as you got closer to where your car was parked, thoughts immediately interrupted. “What the –?”

Stopped in front of it was small towing vehicle, Park Esteem written along the side in bold orange font. A man rounded the corner of the truck, a clipboard in his hand as he looked around, presumably for the owner of the car he seemed so eager to tow. You. He was looking for you.

You jumped to action, breaking into a run. “Excuse me, Excuse me!” The guy with the clipboard looked up at the sound of your strained voice calling out. It was shrill as you came to a halt right in front of him, demanding an explanation. “What are you doing? Why are you towing my car?!”

“You’re the owner of this vehicle, Miss?”

“Yes!” You exclaimed in disbelief. “What’s the problem?”

He looked down at his notes, visibly confused by your reaction it seemed. “Uh, Mr. Kim has requested I pick up your vehicle and take it to be fixed for the damage he caused?”

Mr. Kim?! Who the hell was – wait. Kim Seokjin. His name came back to you instantly. He’d gone behind your back after you explicitly said you didn’t want or need his help. How dare he. And there you’d been feeling guilty for the way you’d treated him not two minutes previous.

“He said to be here at 4pm as you should be finishing work around then…” The mechanic carried on, voice softening, as if he was about to bear bad news. “I’ve been here for thirty minutes, Miss. I’m afraid I’ll have to bill him for that separately. Time is money after all.”

You checked your watch on autopilot. It was coming up to twenty to five. Shaking out of it, you straightened your shoulders, back to fighting mode for the second time today. “You can’t just take my car without my permission.”

The man grimaced slightly. “Well see, he’s already paid for the towage, and Mr. Kim is a very valuable and trustworthy customer.”

“Trustworthy?” You scoffed. “He’s stealing my car! I’m sorry but no, I refuse this…” You paused to think. “This service.” This was so absurd. Not only had this Mr. Kim totally disregarded your wishes, the towing of your car was incredibly over the top. The damage was cosmetic, everything was in fine working order. It didn’t need to be helped to the workshop. The thought of something so dramatic was infuriating.

“I’m afraid that’s impossible, Miss. Mr. Kim already paid for the towage upfront so I can’t actually do anything about it now…”

You stared at the man, telling yourself to take deep breaths. It wasn’t his fault. He was just doing his job. “So I have to let you take my car?”

He gave you a gentle smile. “I’m afraid so…unless…” He hesitated. “Unless you pay for the reversal…”

“And how much is this reversal?” Your arms were crossed for what felt like the hundredth time today.

You nearly keeled over when you were told the price. Damn that arrogant handsome man. Damn him straight to hell. Kim Seokjin, you would never forget that name now. What a complete and utter d–

“I’m sorry for the confusion, Miss. I was under the impression you knew Mr. Kim.” The mechanic apologised.

You found yourself softening. He had a gentle voice. A gentle face too. It was that conceited so-and-so you were mad at. You were glad you’d left the classroom late today, not many cars left in the parking lot which meant less chance of a co-worker seeing this embarrassment.

“So, I’m going to need to take your details now.” He continued, holding his clipboard out, sounding hopeful that you’d calmed down. “Just so I can arrange drop off at your address tomorrow.” You nodded slowly, watching him stretch out a hand. “I’m Jimin, by the way. Park Jimin from Park Esteem Car Services.”

You shook it, introducing yourself automatically. “I’m Y/N.”

He gave you a dazzling smile. “Lovely name. How do you spell that?”

Ten minutes later your poor car was hooked up to Jimin’s truck, ready to go, just as a sleek black car with tinted windows pulled up alongside you. Out rushed a tall young man. He looked a little frazzled as he straightened out his suit jacket but smiled your way. “Hello, are you the owner of this vehicle?”

“Yes,” you replied rather woodenly. What fresh hell?

He smiled wider, outstretching his hand. “Hi, lovely to meet you. I’m Mr. Kim’s personal assistant, Mr. Choi, but you can call me Soobin.”

You completed your second handshake of the day – two too many and introduced yourself too. Inside you had a million and one questions. It began with ‘Why was his personal assistant here?’ and ended with ‘When would this day finally be over?’

“I’m so sorry I’m late.” The young man – Soobin – apologised. “Things have been incredibly hectic at the office today. I’m so glad you’re still here.”

Jimin appeared by the side of you then. “Hi, you work for Mr. Kim?” Soobin nodded, tilting his head in curiosity. “Well, there have been a few misunderstandings this afternoon. Mr. Kim said he knew the client but she really has no idea who he is. Other than he was the one who hit her car.”

Soobin grew flustered, bumbling over his words. “Oh, well, um…”

“It’s fine,” you shook you head, not wanting to put the poor boy in an awkward position. This Mr. Kim seemed to like passing the buck onto innocent people.

Jimin nodded. “Maybe just let your boss know that next time he should probably inform the person whose car he’s having towed…”

Soobin laughed then, making light of an awkward situation even if it was forced. “Sure, sure.”

“Okay, well, nice meeting you,” Jimin turned to you. “I’ll have this done by tomorrow, shouldn’t take too long, there’s not much damage at all.” You had the sudden urge to apologise for wasting his time but you stayed quiet. “You said you’ll be home by 7pm?” You nodded. “Great. Someone will drop it off shortly after that.” He tapped the side of his truck and smiled. “Have a lovely rest of your day, Y/N.”

“Thank you, and you.” You waved him off – waved your car off too as Jimin started to drive and it disappeared into the distance, then you turned your attention back to Soobin. What was he doing here?

On cue, he began to explain. “So, Mr. Kim is giving you a temporary loan of one of his cars for the time being, as apology and, well, a gesture of good faith. He really is awfully sorry about this morning.” There was silence as you made sense of his words. “The tank is full, no need for any expense on your side.”

You forced yourself to speak. “Wait, hang on, he’s loaning me his car?”

“One of them, yes,” Soobin smiled. One of them. How many did this man have? “He really doesn’t use this one, so don’t feel like you’re an inconvenience, it’s really no bother at all.” He pulled the key fob out of his pocket and handed it to you with a kind but awkward smile. “Here.”

“So… I’m just riding his car home?” You’d told Jimin you’d call your best friend to pick you up when he’d offered you a ride home. You could still very well do that, but refusing this young man just seemed plain mean. After all, he had driven here despite a busy schedule. You didn’t want to waste his time. Poor boy was just doing what he was told, this Mr. Kim’s dogsbody.

“Yes,” Soobin nodded, looking a little confused now. As if he was wondering why you weren’t understanding what he was saying. “Oh, wait,” he suddenly remembered, pulling a piece of paper (cream wove) out of his breast pocket. “Here’s a contact number for him to arrange the pick-up of the vehicle tomorrow evening. It might be me, but it depends on my schedule.”

“Okay,” you mumbled, still a little dazed, looking down at the number. You folded the paper and dropped it into your purse, suddenly realising something. “Wait, how are you getting home?”

“Hm?” He wasn’t expecting that question. “Oh, subway probably.”

You anger flared once again. “So this Mr. Kim instructs you to ride one of his cars to my place of work, loan it to me and then expects you to just walk to the subway station?”

Soobin blinked slowly a couple of times, hearing the attitude in your voice. “Well, when you say it like that you make it seem…bad. Your tone...” He shrugged and then gave a small laugh that wrinkled his nose. “I’m happy to walk, you know, exercise, get that blood pumping…” He finished with a few nimble stretches just to emphasise, before looking comically aghast. “Sorry. Ignore my unprofessionalism.”

You jerked your head towards the car. “Get in.”

His mouth hung open in confusion. “What?”

“I’ll give you a ride home. Do you live far?”

“Not too far, Miss.”

He waited for you to get into the driver’s seat and then followed quickly, getting in beside you. He couldn’t have wanted to walk that much then... “Call me Y/N.” You told him with a kind smile. “I don’t like all this professionalism. Besides, I get called Miss all day, every day. It gets tiring after a while.”

He nodded dutifully in reply, back straight.

You were on pins driving all the way home, eager to drop Soobin home so you could let go of your composure. This car was way too nice for you. Why did this stranger trust you with it?! His car. He didn’t know you. You could be the worst driver in the world for all he knew. You weren’t, but you could be.

After you’d pulled up in your driveway you stayed there for a few minutes, needing some silence, just to calm yourself down, because you knew soon enough you’d get bombarded with questions. Sooner than you thought actually, because there was your front door ripping open, your best friend and roomie, Soojung, rushing out. “What is going on?” She demanded as you pushed the car door open. “Taken up car theft in your spare time?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” you sighed, already trudging to the house.

She followed behind closely. “Um, you’re talking about it alright. You can’t just park up in a car worth more than both our salaries a year and expect me to not bat an eyelid.”

You scoffed at her dramatics, hanging your purse over the coat rack. “It’s not worth that much.”

“Y/N, I mean this with the least possible offence, but you know absolutely jack shit about cars.” You had no time for a comeback. “Now tell me where the hell did you get that car?!”

After the third degree from Soojung for over an hour, you managed to shut her up with an in depth description of your car thief (as you were now calling him), which included in no particular order: what he looked like, his estimated age, his outfit and how rich you thought he was. You insisted you were in no way bothered by any of these factors and you were only humouring her for some much needed peace and quiet. She spent the next ten minutes begging you to call him and put him on loudspeaker so she could hear his voice, but you outright refused. You were not calling him tonight, you couldn’t trust yourself not to raise your voice. It could wait for tomorrow, when your first round of parent-teacher meetings were over and you had your own car back in your driveway. Mr. Kim could wait for his, it was the least he could do after all the trouble he’d caused today. You bet he had another six cars anyway – one for each day of the week.

Soojung made you both a late dinner and not long after that you crawled your way to bed, exhausted and not at all mentally ready for tomorrow. You did wake up ten minutes before your alarm though, which you chose to take as a good sign, remembered your lunch too, and you hated to admit it, but your loaned vehicle drove like a dream once you weren’t so scared of accidentally careening it off a cliff, or something equally as impossible.

You day actually went by without a hitch. All the children were well-behaved, much more subdued than yesterday, but maybe that was because your stress levels had rapidly decreased with the positive signs from this morning. They had raised a little when Mrs. Jeon from third grade had enquired about the new car she’d seen you driving into school, but after giving her a very much condensed version of yesterday’s events you both had a little laugh together, where she then proceeded to joke around and tell you that you shouldn’t give the car back… or at least you thought she was joking… However, other than that, the school day breezed by.

Better yet, all the parents scheduled for meetings today were on time, and despite the rush end of year reports brought, you genuinely did love the opportunity to talk with your students’ parents one on one. You’d been teaching the first grade at the same school for over seven years now and despite the ups and downs being a teacher brought, it really was the most rewarding and fulfilling job. Especially at a school like this. This place was like a home to you, all you had ever known, and your students meant the world to you. Each and every one. Class sizes were always small at Primrose Hill, and that always made your connection with the kids even greater.

There was always a sadness in your heart when May rolled around, the school year nearly over and you had to get ready to bid goodbye to the children who’d been a part of your life for over nine months. Of course, come September you would greet a new class of students once again, but it was always so bittersweet…

It was just gone half past six now and you were waiting on the last parent of the evening. 5/6 parents on time was still a success. Hopefully Monday you would see full marks. You were waiting on the father of your newest student, Kim Arin. She’d only been with you two months, and it was very unusual that a child joined you so late into the year. You didn’t know all the details, but it seemed that her parents were divorced and she’d recently moved to live with her dad. You liked Arin, she was a sweet little girl, quite timid at times, especially in the beginning, but that was to be expected of course. It was always nerve-wracking to start a new school. She’d gradually come out of her shell, made friends and she was incredibly gifted in storytelling for such a young age. In a few years, if she kept it up, who knew what she’d be creating. You couldn’t wait to tell her father that. You’d grown very fond of her very quickly and you would definitely miss her come September.

“Come in,” you called, a knock on your classroom door breaking you from your thoughts. Your back was to the entryway, preoccupied with collecting Arin’s report and classwork on your desk, so you didn’t see who entered, although presumably it was her father.

“Oh, hello again.”

You froze at the sound of the voice. That voice. Why was it so familiar? Why did it get your hackles up? As if you needed to prepare for a fight– Oh.

You turned abruptly, eyes wide as you came face to face with the car thief. What on earth was he doing here? Had he come to collect his car?! Maybe you should’ve rung him last night, but it seemed a little unbelievable that he was chasing this up so keenly. You weren’t the thief in question. He was. How insane was it to track you down like this. Who had given him your name? Who had told him what class you would be in? Surely it was forbidden?

“If this is about the car business, we’ll have to sort it out later on, I’m expecting a parent of a student any minute now.” Straightening your back you held eye contact. He was very amused, eyes twinkling as he smiled at you, cheeks rounded. It made you feel slightly unnerved, but by damn had you forgotten how infuriatingly handsome that face of his was. Jerk.

He held up his hand slightly and laughed. “I’m the parent in question.”

“What?”

You stood there limply like an idiot, blinking slowly as you tried to mentally put the pieces together. Kim Arin. Mr. Kim. Kim Seokjin, the arrogant, money can solve everything so-and-so was Arin’s father? Great. Absolutely gr–

“You’re Miss. Y/L/N?”

“You’re Arin’s father?” It was obvious by now, but maybe there was that 0.001% chance he’d gotten the wrong classroom. Maybe.

“Such a small world,” he grinned, all hope lost. He held out his hand for you to shake. “It’s nice to officially meet you.”

There was a teasing to his tone, it got you pissed again, but you had to take it. You were in a professional setting now, you were his daughter’s teacher. His hand was warm, soft, grip gentle. Maybe you squeezed too hard, maybe he didn’t notice. “Please take a seat, I won’t be a minute.”

Your tone was clipped, unable to sound at all breezy like you had with the other parents, and you turned back to your desk, rifling through more papers even though you had everything you needed. In all honesty, you just needed some thinking time. Get through this twenty minute meeting, you told yourself. Pretend like he wasn’t the man who hit your car and then got it towed a few hours later. You could do it.

You felt him take the seat behind you, amusement still strong as he asked you a question. “So, are we just going to pretend yesterday didn’t happen?”

You collected Arin’s work and rounded your desk, taking a seat directly in front of him, careful to keep your expression neutral. “Right now’s not the time to discuss personal matters. Let’s just wait until this is over.” Twenty minutes and then he’d have it. He wouldn’t be smirking then.

Although surprisingly, immediately after you said that he grew serious, nodding his head in agreement. “Of course. My apologies. Sorry I was late, by the way, I couldn’t escape the office.”

Taken back by his sudden change in demeanour you shook your head. “It’s fine.” You weren’t expecting it to be so easy, but he listened.

“So,” he prompted when you didn’t follow up with anything. “Should we get started?”

You jolted, unaware you’d been lost in thought and silently cursed yourself. He was going to think an idiot was in charge of teaching his daughter. Not that it mattered what he thought, but still, you needed to snap out of it. He was here to talk about Arin and as her teacher you had plenty to say.

Seokjin was highly focused throughout the whole meeting, taking on bored everything you had to say with earnest. He wanted to know how his daughter was getting on at her new school and was interested in all the work she had completed in the short amount of time she’d been here. He didn’t have to, but he gave you a small explanation about why she’d had to switch schools so late into the year, and even though you already knew it was because she’d moved to live with him, you stayed silent, letting him carry on. He sounded so genuine, so worried about what the move could’ve done to Arin’s education and mental health that it ended up touching you. It was visibly obvious how much he loved and cared for his daughter and that was refreshing to see. A lot of the time it was the mothers who attended these parent-teaching meetings, you rarely had the chance to speak to the dads, so you did relish in this opportunity, discussing Arin’s talent in creative writing in depth, showing Seokjin the collection of short stories she’d written, and giving him tips when he asked on ways she could improve.

That would come with age, you said, but there was one small thing she may want to stop now rather than later. Her most recent story, a beautiful and creative fantasy piece that she unfortunately ended with the ‘it was all a dream’ trope.

“What’s wrong with that?” Seokjin asked. You instantly sensed that his defensive was up. It made you smile as you gave a slight shrug.

“Nothing per se, it can just be a little cliché. There’s much better ways to end a story.”

“Sure, but she’s only 6. It can’t be that serious?”

Your smile grew. “I understand that, Mr. Kim. Like I said, Arin is truly gifted for her age, it was just a pointer that you asked for.” You wouldn’t have brought it up otherwise, but he seemed thoroughly into this discussion now.

He tilted his head in thought. “What if it was the legitimate ending of a story? There’s obviously famous novels with such conclusions.”

Amused, you mimicked him. “For instance?”

“Hm?”

That caught him off guard. “What novels? Name me some.”

His eyes grew comically wide at your request, and just as you suspected, he couldn’t answer. He chuckled, looking a little embarrassed. Was that a little colour on his cheeks? “You’ve put me on the spot.”

You were both so engrossed discussing Arin that the time seemed to fly by. It was near to 7pm by the time you wrapped things up, and you’d enjoyed yourself so much you almost forgot you’d made a deal with yourself to start chewing Seokjin out the moment it was all over. He ever so kindly reminded you.

“You know, I was expecting a very angry phone call last night. I was quite surprised when it never came.”

Both of you were now stood up, your desk still between you. Seokjin held copies of Arin’s stories that you’d given him to read over in his free time and you with nothing to fiddle with, folded your arms across your chest. Ah, here we go again. The playful lilt to his voice back from earlier, that infuriating smirk too.

He was dressed in a much less flashy suit today. A simple slate grey two piece, his dark hair styled against his forehead, the smallest peek of forehead visible. It made him appear younger – not that he looked old anyway. Your guessing was mid 30s maybe, but this hairstyle made him appear softer. The faintest of lines around his eyes provided the slightest of giveaways, but then again, you only noticed them because you were searching for any clue to his age. His hair was still thick and dark and it definitely didn’t look like he dyed it. His body was… hm, he was built well. He certainly seemed to look after it. Not that you were looking, of course.

You could definitely see the resemblance between him and Arin. Their eyes were the same almond shape, both deep brown in colour, and while their noses were slightly different, Arin’s cheeks obviously rounder, their plump lips were uncanny.

Despite very much in thought, you kept your expression unreadable, nose in the air as you replied. “Perhaps I was too mad for words.”

He raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow. If they were natural, life was incredibly unfair. “And now?”

“It would be unprofessional of me to start yelling at my place of work.”

“You want to yell at me?” His eyes twinkled with silent laughter. It was obvious he was holding it in.

You were glad he found this funny because you didn’t. No matter how much he’d impressed you as a father it still didn’t change yesterday. “You had no right just stealing my car like that.”

He scoffed. “It was hardly stealing. Who steals a car to pay for the damage he caused?”

“I didn’t want you to pay!”

He still looked baffled by your stubbornness. “That’s just absurd.”

“You’re calling me absurd?”

He sighed. “Of course not.” He was getting flustered now, similar to yesterday. It was funny to watch. “I just…” He trailed off, catching the grin on your face. “You’re enjoying this.”

You rolled your eyes. “Yes, I love a complete stranger backing out into my car to then subsequently steal it from right under my nose.”

He eyed you hesitantly. You knew he couldn’t tell if you were joking around or not. Your words and posture said no, but your eyes and lips gave it away eventually. “We’re still on this stealing business?” He paused, lips quirking. “Besides, I’m not a stranger. I’m your favourite student’s father.”

You laughed in disbelief. This man was so full of himself. “I’m a teacher, I don’t do favouritism.”

“Oh?” He seemed sceptical.

You shook your head, he really was unbelievable, but you couldn’t stop the smile that creeped its way to your mouth. “If that’s all, Mr. Kim.” You pointed to the door. It was getting late now, your car should be getting dropped off soon too.

He chuckled as he started to make his exit, you following closely behind. When he stopped abruptly, turning back, you weren’t expecting him to be so close. You could notice the beginnings of stubble growing above his top lip, a sure sign you were in too close a proximity.

“She likes you a lot.” He murmured, serious once again. You wished he’d stop doing that. Was he an obnoxious rich jerk, or a caring, hardworking father? You would have gone with the former right before this meeting, now you had no clue. Maybe you’d gotten him all wrong. That would teach you for judging a book by its cover…

“Arin,” he added, as if it wasn’t obvious. “She’s always speaking about you when I ask how her day went. You’re her favourite ever teacher.” He grinned then, laughing, amused by himself.

You groaned. “Stop trying to guilt me.” He laughed harder, throwing his head back. Was all that true? Arin talked about you? You were her favourite teacher? Or was he just making it up for reaction? You didn’t ask.

“Although, I will say it’s nice to put a face to the name now.” Maybe you didn’t need to ask. “Just wasn’t expecting it to be the woman whose car I drove into yesterday morning…”

No, neither were you.

“I really am sorry about that.”

He sounded nothing but sincere, you couldn’t not accept his apology, despite being still annoyed by what he had done afterwards. “You keep saying.” You gave an accepting sweep of your hand. “Let’s just forget about it, accidents happen, right?”

“Right.” He gave a quick nod of his head, followed by a shrug. “…aand I guess you were parked behind me so…”

You opened your mouth to refute such a claim but his laughter was so loud, so unlike his outer appearance, if that made any sense, (all high-pitched and squeaky almost), you were dazed for a moment, couldn’t help but join him – quietly so, but it was something. This man obviously thought he was hilarious.

He opened the door, hand resting on the handle as he spoke again. At this rate the janitor would appear for his shift and you’d still be here talking to Seokjin. “Listen, I can’t find anyone to pick up my car tonight so how about tomorrow? Is that okay for you? You can give me a call in the morning and we’ll arrange a time suitable.”

Oh yes, you’d forgotten all about that. Too distracted. By what? Him? “It’s fine. I can drop it off myself tomorrow.”

He raised that perfect eyebrow again. “You can?”

You gave him an affirmative hum. Why was that so surprising to him?

“How will you get home?”

Shoot. “Subway,” you thought quickly.

“Are you sure?” He looked even more surprised, was about to suggest something else it seemed, until you spoke again.

“Saves that kid wasting his weekend.”

“Kid?”

“Soobin.” No doubt he’d be the one to pick the vehicle up, being Seokjin’s personal assistant after all. You needed one of those. They could mark the children’s homework and plan your lessons…

“Oh. He really wouldn’t mind,” Seokjin reassured.

“Really?” It was your turn to raise an eyebrow. Both of them actually, but they weren’t as devastatingly shaped as his. That reminded you, you needed to get them threaded again soon. “Poor boy was about to trek to the station yesterday before I offered him a ride.”

“You took him home? He didn’t tell me that.” Seokjin sounded surprised.

“I wasn’t going to let him walk after he went to all that trouble for me.”

He nodded in understanding. “You’re very kind.”

You felt a little panicky, unable to read his reaction very well. “He won’t get into trouble?” You couldn’t see why he would, but you never know.

“No,” Seokjin laughed. “Is that what you think of me?”

You shook your head. “Of course not, I was just…” You stopped, unsure what to say.

“I wonder what you do think of me,” he pondered, voice low, lips curled.

“I don’t think it really matters what I think of you.” You replied cryptically.

He liked that, chuckling softly. “Can’t a guy be curious?” You remained tight lipped. “My employees love working for me, for your information.” He added. Maybe as damage control, who knew.

You rolled your eyes for the second time this evening. “You’re very full of yourself, Mr. Kim.”

“Please, call me Seokjin,” he requested.

You nodded, but you still didn’t think you were at that type of pleasantry yet. You could think of him as Seokjin but to say it aloud felt wrong almost, you didn’t know him. Thinking about it, it wouldn’t really matter come tomorrow anyway.

You watched him pull out a small notebook and an expensive looking pen from his inner jacket pocket, holding the copies of Arin’s stories under his arm as he used the door for support to write his address down for you. Ripping out the page perfectly, he passed it to you with a smile. “Drop the car off around 3pm. I should be long done at the office by then.”

He was working on the weekend? He certainly was a busy man. Who looked after Arin while he wasn’t there? These curiosities you had couldn’t very well be asked, not unless you wanted to appear nosey and overstep the mark…

“Okay,” you replied. “Then we arrange repayment.”

“Repayment?” He looked bewildered. “You’re not paying me back.”

“I am.”

“You’re not.” His tone was stern. You could be sterner, you were sure of it.

“I am.” You insisted, staring him down. “The mechanic informed me yesterday that you’d be charged separately because he had to wait an extra half hour.”

“Oh, that.” He shook a hand. “I knew that might happen because I was uncertain when you finished work. It’s really no bother.”

No bother? Was this man adamant to hear you raise your voice? “I’m paying you back.”

He feigned confusion, teasing you. “I don’t think you are.”

“I – Look, we’ll sort this out tomorrow.” You’d be here arguing until Monday otherwise.

He scoffed. “There’s nothing to sort out.”

You shot him glare. It was a warning. Tomorrow you’d let him have a piece of your mind if he continued to refuse. You didn’t think he took it seriously.

“I’m sorry, but you can’t just sit here and I say he wasn’t flirting with you.”

“He wasn’t.” You were adamant. Soojung had made you relay your whole conversation with Seokjin as soon as you’d let slip this evening’s revelation. You were regretting it now. You were trapped on this couch forced to listen to her insane claims. There was no way in hell that man had been flirting with you.

“You were definitely flirting back.”

You felt yourself flush, voice raising as you insisted that she was wrong. “As if.” She shot you a look that told you she didn’t believe a word. “He’s rich and arrogant.”

She laughed. “You say rich as if it’s a bad thing.”

It wasn’t a bad thing, it just wasn’t your thing, but if rich made him smug and think he could throw his money around when you’d explicitly stated you didn’t want him too, then yes, it was a bad thing.

“I wonder how loaded he really is…” Soojung thought aloud. “Millionaire status? He didn’t say where he worked?”

“Didn’t come up,” you replied shortly. You were done talking about him now. In your eyes it was nearly over. Your car was back in its rightful place on your driveway and Seokjin’s would soon follow in its rightful place – surrounded by a handful of others. You would never have to see that frustrating man ever again – hopefully.

“Find out tomorrow.”

“I am not finding out tomorrow,” you exclaimed. It wasn’t important. He worked in an office, nothing out of this world amazing. “I’m just going to drop off his car, write out a cheque and be on my merry little way.”

Soojung snorted. “Bitch, you’re going to be repaying him back a dollar a week.” You glared at her but she wasn’t fazed. “There’s no way you can afford it. He probably uses the most expensive mechanic in the city.”

“Shut up.” You didn’t care if you had to use your savings account. He was getting his money back one way or the other. You refused to be indebted to him. You were a little nervous though… “It can’t be that much. He only had to repaint some scratches,” you worried.

Your best friend ignored you, nestling in closer, an overjoyed grin on her face. “Tell me again, is he dishy?”

You sighed – loudly. Why couldn’t she let the topic drop? “I’ve already described him to you, and besides, that’s not the point.”

She wriggled her eyebrows suggestively. “So that’s a yes then. You’re into the Dilf!”

You didn’t bother replying, instead choosing to throw a cushion at her. She was unbelievable. But why did her teasing annoy you so much right now?

Saturday and Sunday’s always allowed you to sleep in, although 8am probably wasn’t what most called late. You liked to make the most of your weekends and today was no different. After breakfast you showered and got ready, putting aside an hour to go over the student reports for Monday instead of wasting your Sunday night instead. You and Soojung had made plans to go out for coffee late morning as it was rare to see her free on a Saturday. She worked hectic and last minute hours as a department store manager, but she’d finally bargained her first full weekend off in months.

Somehow your coffee turned into a little bit of a shopping spree, your credit card violently cursing you, but after the past few days you’d had you couldn’t find it in you to give a damn. You ate a late lunch at a one of your favourite cafés and then sadly, it was time to rush home and drop off Seokjin’s car back to him. You were very much dreading it – happy it would soon be over, don’t get you wrong, it was just the thought was making you all fidgety and nervous. Soojung wasn’t making it any better, she wouldn’t shut up about it, trying her best to get you give his address up. As if. You knew better than that. She’d be straight on her phone, google maps up in an instant.

You said a begrudging goodbye to her half 2, promising you’d call her straight away with all the details once you were done. She was spending the night at her boyfriend Taehyung’s house tonight but that still wouldn’t stop her innate need for gossip. Your phone acted as GPS on the way to Seokjin’s house, having no idea how to use the fancy one in his car. Not that any of it helped. His house seemed impossible to find. It did not take the predicted twenty minutes your phone told you. No, it was near forty by the time you finally found the concealed long road you’d driven past three times that led to it.

You came to a stop outside a pair of intimidatingly large gates and nearly choked when you saw his house. Well, you couldn’t really call it that. It was a mansion. Eight times the size of the house you and Soojung rented together, maybe more. He really was loaded. You just hadn’t realised how loaded until now. You felt a little sick as you spotted the intercom system on the wall, wondering if you could just ditch the car here and run as fast as your legs could carry you. Why had you not just let Seokjin arrange someone to pick it up from your house? Why were you always so stubborn?!

Taking a deep breath you got out of the vehicle and walked over to the intercom, feeling partial relief to find it didn’t have a camera attached. You would absolutely die of shame otherwise, hopelessly unphotogenic and camera shy. Your teacher’s ID card would forever haunt you.

It rang for a few moments before a woman picked up. “Hello, may I ask who it is?”

You weren’t expecting the female voice so you were stumped for a moment, stumbling over your words before you managed to settle on something helpful. “Hi, yes, this is Arin’s teacher, Miss. Y/L/N. I’m here to return the car Mr. Kim loaned me…”

“Hello, love” the woman greeted sweetly. “Drive up to the front of the house. I won’t be a moment.”

“Okay.” You were thankful she hung up first because you let out a shriek when the gates started automatically opening. You dreaded to think if there were security cameras near.

With a delay you got back into the car and started it up again, thoughts a little preoccupied now that it wasn’t Seokjin who’d picked up. You’d taken it he lived alone, not that he’d told you that. Maybe he had a new girlfriend, you were unsure how long he’d been divorced for. Although you didn’t recall Arin mentioning a woman’s name when she talked about her father. Not that you’d like to admit it, but you’d spent a generous portion of time last night while you waited for sleep trying to recall times when Arin had mentioned Seokjin. You didn’t know why, curiosity you guessed.

But anyway, if Seokjin in fact did have a new partner, then you also guessed Soojung’s theory was incorrect. He had not been flirting with you. Which wasn’t a surprise. It had been a long time since a guy had flirted with you… You were probably to blame there, but it didn’t particularly bother you. Your life was busy enough as it was, throw in a man and you’d hit your breaking point.

The woman who’d answered the call was waiting for you outside as you pulled up, older than her voice had made her seem. You stopped the car and got out, greeting her.

“Hi, nice to meet you. I’m Arin’s Nanny, Misook.”

Oh. That made sense. You guessed your imagination had run wild with you for a few unexplainable moments. You felt almost embarrassed as you stood there awkwardly. Was she going to take the keys? Could you leave?

“Please come in.” She smiled kindly. “Seokjin won’t be long, he’s just showering, work ran late.”

Come in?! Oh no, no, no. That wasn’t part of the plan. It was drop the keys and run. However, like a fool, you were unable to say no, looking behind you at Seokjin’s vehicle. “Is the car okay here?”

“Of course,” she nodded. “He’ll place it in the garage later. Follow me.” She turned her back and started making her way inside.

You followed with heavy feet, not quite ready for this. Your first three encounters/dealings with Seokjin had been interesting to say the least. How would the fourth go? You felt a little rude entering your way inside his house (mansion) but Misook wouldn’t have invited you inside if it wasn’t okay, right? Maybe Seokjin wanted you here…

“Make yourself comfortable while you wait.” Misook said once you’d taken off your pumps and she’d led you to the room nearest the entryway. The living room? The lounge? The family room? You didn’t know what else to call it, descriptions too basic for this grand home.

Not that the décor and furniture were too elaborate. In fact, everything looked so homely and cosy inside. The couch was definitely leather but the throw draped over it and the cushions out of place made it look lived in. The colour scheme was minimalistic, walls cream, accents mostly teal blue and grey. Seokjin had style, or perhaps he’d hired an interior designer. You suddenly wondered what the rest of his home looked like.

“Do you want anything to drink? Anything to eat? I’m just making Arin a snack.” Misook offered, but you immediately shook your head, not wanting to put her out.

“Oh, no thank you. I ate before I left.”

She nodded and left the room, leaving you to your own devices in a stranger’s house. The stranger who had hit your car and then proceeded to steal it from right under your nose. The stranger who had let you borrow his car and the stranger who was Arin’s dad. The world worked in mysterious ways. Or it was just mere coincidence, whatever.

You perched yourself on the end of the teal love seat nearest the large bay window, fluffing up the cushion behind you to at least look a little comfortable. You looked around the room casually, spotting a hardback book on the coffee table – The Rough Guide to the 100 Best Places on Earth. Did Seokjin like to travel? With a seemingly busy lifestyle and a child it seemed pretty impossible. Maybe he just liked to dream? Maybe he’d travelled in his younger days? Wait, why were you thinking about these things? You looked over to the impressive brick fireplace, the obvious focal point of the room; it was stunning. A chunk of waxed driftwood sat above it, acting as a shelf and in the middle of it was a photo of Arin and Seokjin in a silver frame. Both their faces filled the image, grinning widely and they really did look so alike. You found yourself smiling, jumping a little when you heard your name.

“Miss. Y/L/N!”

You followed the tiny excited voice, finding Arin in the doorway smiling shyly at you. She gave you a little wave.

“Hi, Arin,” you greeted.

That was all she needed to skip inside, sitting on the end of the couch closest to you. “Daddy told me you were coming today.” Well, at least she wasn’t surprised to find you in her living room. “He told me what he did. Silly daddy.”

You let out a polite laugh. “It’s okay, accidents happen, huh?” You couldn’t very well say your daddy was an idiot, could you? “How are you today, Arin?” You asked, changing the subject, finding yourself in teacher mode instantly. “Do you have any plans?”

“I’m okay,” she let out a comical sigh. “Daddy is taking me bowling.”

“That sounds like fun. Why are you sighing?”

“I was supposed to see my mom but she was too busy…” She answered rather dejectedly.

“Oh, that’s too bad.” You tried to think of something to say to reassure that little sad face of hers. “I’m sure she’s just as disappointed.”

Arin gave a little shrug. “She’s always busy.”

In the two months you’d been her teacher you’d never seen her mood like this. Yes, for her first week in class she’d been quiet, but that was because of nerves, today she looked deflated. You found yourself struggling for something to say, which was unlike you, especially with all your training. It was your job to reassure children after all.

“I’m so sorry to keep you waiting.”

Your head jerked up at the sound of Seokjin’s voice. There he was in the doorway, smiling your way. There was something different about him. What was it? Oh – his clothing. You noticed eventually. He was dressed incredibly casual today – normal. A beige coloured sweater and dark blue jeans. His hair wasn’t styled, flat to his forehead and still partly wet, his skin flushed from the heat of the shower. You still couldn’t place his age. You were sure he was older than you, but by how much was difficult to say.

“Mr. Kim, hi,” you greeted, standing up for some reason. You still couldn’t bring yourself to call him Seokjin unless it was in your own head.

He walked towards you, in slippers. You didn’t know why but the thought was so bizarre. You were being ridiculous. Of course he wore slippers, why wouldn’t he?

“Daddyyy,” Arin sung, running towards him and hugging his legs. She looked up at him, asking sweetly, “Are we ready to go?”

He chuckled, rubbing her hair. “Soon, sweetie. Go and find Misook in the kitchen so you can have your snack before we leave.”

She looked at him coyly. “Can we have pizza later?”

He laughed again and gave a small shrug. “Sure. As a weekend treat.”

You watched on, not realising there was a smile on you face. They were cute together. You noticed Arin peeking at you, then she looked up at her father again. “Is Miss Y/L/N coming too?”

Seokjin had the brazenness to look across at you, raising his eyebrows expectantly, as if it was your call. Was he insane? Not only was it implausible, it was downright unprofessional. You were Arin’s teacher. Yes, for just a few more weeks, but this interaction was already out of your comfort zone.

“Uh,” you started, feeling awkward. “No, sorry, Arin. I, um, I have plans today.”

You didn’t want to let her down, but luckily she didn’t seem to mind, giving you a roll of her shoulders and a cute smile. “Okay. See on you on Monday, Miss.” And off she skipped, out the door and to where you presumed was the direction of the kitchen.

“Sorry about that,” Seokjin chuckled, stepping closer, as if he hadn’t pretty much invited you himself. What if you’d said yes? He’d have been okay with that?

You felt yourself begin to heat up at the close proximity. You had no idea why he made you feel like this, especially now. You’d handled it so well yesterday, but then again, maybe that was because there’d been a desk separating you. In a professional setting. Right now you were out of your comfort zone, out of your depth. In his home, in his living room, a mere few inches between you both. Why did you find it so intimidating? Why did you find him so intimidating?!

That face… That face with that infuriating smile, and those eyes that seemed to twinkle with amusement, as if there was a joke you weren’t aware of. Multiple jokes. What did he find so funny? Was it you? You felt instantly defensive. He probably used those good looks to unease people, to make them do as he wanted. Not you.

You took a step back, your legs brushing the love seat behind you, and reached for your purse, pulling out your cheque book. “So,” you began, hating the way your voice faintly shook. “Let’s settle. How much do I owe you?”

His smile instantly disappeared as he rolled his eyes slightly. You caught them and it made you want to fight. “You’re still on this.”

“Yes, I am,” you bristled “They washed my car too.”

“Don’t look at me like that,” he groaned. “It was part of the service.”

“Just tell me how much I owe you.” You were adamant.

“No.” So was he.

“Mr. Kim.”

“Seokjin,” he corrected, a small smug smile on his face.

“Tell me!”

He brought a hand to his temple, tapping the skin with his fingers as he let out a grunt. “You know what, I can’t seem to remember. It’s been a busy week, memory’s a little fuzzy.” The grin on his face told he was messing with you.

What an exasperating bastard. You didn’t swear often, but he’d just driven you to it. Any more and it was out loud. Maybe your face gave something away because he soon changed his tune, falling serious, like he could so magically do sometimes. “Look, it was my fault, so I paid.”

You wanted to scream. “What if I had an accident in your car? Would I have to pay the damage?”

Instantly he looked worried, those perfect eyebrows furrowing in alarm. “Have you? Are you okay?”

It looked like he was about to reach out a hand to comfort you, and you panicked, rushing into explanation, taken back by his concern. “No, I’m fine. I-I was just being hypothetical.” He looked confused. “By your logic, I would have to pay, right?”

“My logic,” he mused, chuckling softly. “I’m just doing the correct thing. But yes, I suppose you’d have to pay.” He gave a shrug, that annoying smile back on his face. “Good thing there were no accidents then.”

He was probably right. You weren’t that angry to prove a point. You’d probably have to take a lifetime loan to pay the damage off. You felt defeated. What more could you do? Write out a cheque for a guesstimated amount? Imagine the humiliation if you totally undervalued it. No, maybe you should just let it go. Bite your tongue and take this “gift” from a stranger. He had backed out into your car after all, regardless if you were hovering there, he just hadn’t been paying attention. He felt a guilt, a need to repair the damage caused so you’d just let him, even if it went against everything you believed in – your morals. He could obviously afford it and never miss the money.

So you let him win this one, let him walk you to the door before you were late for those important plans that may or may not involve being sat in front of the television all evening watching sitcom reruns on the comedy channel. (He didn’t know that of course.)

“Alice in Wonderland,” he said suddenly, just as you were coming to a halt by the grand wooden door. You turned to see him grinning and looked at him questioningly. What on earth was he on about? “A famous novel that uses that ‘it was all a dream’ trope you hate.”

You raised an eyebrow. “I think someone may have been on google last night.”

He held up his hands. “Guilty as charged.”

You let yourself laugh, genuinely amused. You weren’t so nervy now, as comfortable in his presence as you were going to get. “Goodbye, Mr. Kim.”

He tutted. “If you call me that one more time I’ll be forced to take that cheque from you.”

Really? Interesting… “Mr –

“I take it back,” he interrupted quickly, realising his mistake. “But please, call me Seokjin. I get called too many formalities within the week, I hate it.”

You had to agree with that, you knew that feeling all too well. “Fine,” you gave in. “Goodbye, Seokjin.” There, you’d bitten the bullet. Calling him by his name aloud made you feel funny. “Thank you for… everything.”

He mulled over your gratitude, seemingly satisfied. “I’ll take that.” You ignored him and turned to leave. He stopped you, his hand touching your elbow and warmth spread throughout your body instantly. “Are you really taking the subway home?”

You nodded.

He looked dubious. “The nearest station is quite a walk from here.”

“How far?” Now you were too.

“Let me give you a ride there.” He offered. “I’m taking Arin downtown anyway. Her plans with her mom got changed last minute so I’m trying to cheer her up.” At the mention of his ex-wife his voice became tense, his expression darkening for a moment before he shook himself out of it, a smile back on his face. “So, what do you say?”

“Okay.” You agreed, smiling back. “You can drop me off.” In all honesty, you had no clue where you were going anyway, this part of the city unfamiliar to you. That, and your cell phone had only 20% battery life left after the palaver of trying to get yourself here. Driving you to the station wasn’t going to put him out so it was fine.

“Great. Oh, by the way,” he slipped in, as if he’d suddenly remembered something. Or maybe he was just trying to sound casual. “Are you ever going to tell me your name or do I have to live in mystery for the rest of my life?”

You grew surprised. Of course, he didn’t know your name. You’d never told him. Maybe subconsciously you’d imagined Soobin would’ve relayed that piece of information back to him, or maybe, and most likely, you’d never actually thought about it at all. No wonder you hadn’t realised. You felt almost rude.

“It’s only fair,” Seokjin said, mistaking your silence as indecision. “You know mine, and I can’t keep referring to you as Miss. Y/L/N. It’s a bit strange, don’t you think?”

That was interesting. When was he planning to refer to you again at all? Not that you needed to be persuaded. But you were being polite, that’s what you told yourself. You knew his name so like he’d said, it was only fair. There was no other reason, and of course the idea of him being curious about your name made you feel nothing whatsoever. Okay?

You gave him a quick smile, feeling a little coy for some reason. “It’s Y/N.”

“Y/N,” he repeated, murmuring it softly as the mystery unveiled itself.

That was dangerous. Hearing the syllables roll from his tongue so gently sent a rush of heat through your body. It settled on your face, tingling, and you prayed it wasn’t visible.

What the hell was wrong with you?!

Written 2020 - 2021. Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2021

#seokjin fanfic #bts fanfic #jin fanfic #seokjin smut #bts smut #floralseokjin:writings #fic:mls

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luminnara · 3 years

Text

Victor Zsasz x Reader NSFW | 18+

Fandom: Birds of Prey/DC

I don’t see nearly enough BOP!Zsasz appreciation here, so I’m determined to change that. Reader is fem, but if there’s interest I can definitely write stuff for male or nb! The reader also has a whole backstory because I’m way more into world and character building than I am reader inserts so this is practically a little OC fic lol

This is sort of set pre-Birds of Prey, don’t worry about it too much, it’s just fun

Warnings: Violence, Zsasz being Zsasz, reader is an assassin who unalives people, light smut

This is short because I’m testing the waters! If there’s interest, I’ll write a part 2!!

Requests are open!

When Roman announced that he was hiring a new girl, Victor was less than thrilled. He liked what they had going--Roman was the money and the brains, and Victor was the muscle, the devout follower, and the one who loved to spill blood. They didn’t need anybody else, especially not a new hitman, and especially not a girl.

You had grown up in Gotham City’s East End, a district that was infamous for harboring all sorts of crime. You knew every street, every dark alley, every burnt out shell of a once-great building. The East End was a far cry from Gotham’s nicer neighborhoods, with their shining skyscrapers and big fancy department stores, but what could you say? The East End was home. It was dark and gritty and dangerous, but you loved that about it.

Besides, it’s not like you could really go anywhere else.

You had developed quite a reputation for yourself over the past few years. Places like the East End have a tendency to breed criminals, and you were no exception--as soon as you left home, you followed right in your mother’s footsteps and became a gun for hire. Thanks to your family name, you had no trouble taking on the odd merc job here and there, working for mob bosses who didn’t mind the mess you tended to leave behind. Silent, sneaky kills weren’t really your thing, but you never really got into the whole...artistic thing that a lot of other killers did. You didn’t sit there and fuck around with the blood and guts, you just...weren’t very tidy. You were quick, but you weren’t clean. If somebody wanted their enemies taken out quietly, they knew not to even look in your direction, because you were not the girl for the job.

If somebody wanted to make a statement, though...

You were more than happy to crush some skulls and splatter some blood across the sidewalk for the right price.

Of course, so much killing got to be exhausting after a while, and even brutal assassins like yourself needed to relax every so often. So, that’s how you found yourself finishing up a job and heading back to your modest little apartment, hopping in the shower, and scrubbing all the blood and dirt off your skin as if you had just spent a long day at the office. It was all normal for you--the killing, the shady bosses, the weirdos you worked with--and you treated it the same way any of those prim and proper office people in Old Gotham treated their day jobs. It was a way to make ends meet, something to pay for groceries and take care of the bills...only, in your case, you were generally paid fully in cash, and sometimes that cash had some suspicious stains on it.

But hey, work was work, right?

That night, you headed to a club you had yet to check out. Done up in a little black dress and wearing some very expensive pearls you had nabbed off of a target a few months back, you took a cab and found yourself entering The Black Mask.

It was a nice spot, the booths and bar all packed with socialites and crime lords. Waitresses and shot girls flitted around, there was a band playing on the stage, and the atmosphere seemed to be cheerful. Honestly, it wasn’t what you had expected, given what you’d heard about its owner.

Roman Sionis was a businessman, as he liked to call himself, who had been steadily growing his empire. He practically owned the entire East End now, and word on the street was he was looking to expand further into the rest of Gotham. You had never met the man, but you had enough mutual connections that Roman knew exactly who you were the moment he spotted you at the bar.

“Zsasz, go get her,” he said, gesturing towards you with a gloved hand.

Zsasz followed his gaze and tilted his head slightly. “You got it, boss.”

You were minding your own business, ordering yourself a gin and tonic and elbowing drunk men out of your way as you carved a little spot for yourself at the bar. They were rambunctious, leaning towards you with wide grins and beady eyes that told you they were hoping to get lucky tonight.

As you were getting ready to throw another elbow, the men suddenly scattered, vanishing into the crowd as if something had scared them off. The bartender set your drink down in front of you, and just as you raised the glass to your lips, the scent of musky cologne filled your nose and you looked up to see none other than the notorious Victor Zsasz standing before you.

“Boss wants to talk with you.” He said simply, his voice rough and hoarse.

But you were too busy taking in his facial features to really listen to his words. His short hair was the lightest blonde you had ever seen, almost snowy in color, a stark contrast to the black stubble that covered his jaw. He was wearing a silky dress shirt the color of red wine, or dark blood, the kind that was thick and coagulated and dripped off of knives so beautifully.

As he stared right back at you, you saw the scars that cut into his face, straight, meticulously carved lines that you were sure he had given himself. After all, just as you did, Victor Zsasz had a reputation, and while you had never met him, you had heard plenty about the sadistic assassin who kept tally marks of all of his victims.

Part of you wondered just how many he had.

You took a sip of your drink, eyes never leaving his. “I only just got here. I haven’t even paid for my drink.”

“On the house, courtesy of Mr. Sionis.” Zsasz said, regarding you with heavily lidded eyes as he looked down at you.

Just as you knew of him, he knew of you. Even though he was pretty much locked in place with Roman now, Zsasz heard plenty about everyone else in the East End. You practically ran in the same circles, and he had to admit, he was a tiny bit curious about the lady assassin everyone was raving about. He almost admired the messiness of your kills, but he also thought that you were sloppy and too quick, never taking the time to truly appreciate what you were doing.

Now, as he glanced down at the swell of your tits as they practically spilled out of your dress, he couldn’t decide if he wanted to kill you, or fuck you, or both.

“It’s rude to stare, Mr. Zsasz.” You teased as you caught him.

“It’s rude to keep the boss waiting.” He shot right back.

“Fine.” you sighed, pushing away from the bar. “Lead the way.”

He offered his hand and you took it, holding onto him gingerly. The crowd parted for Zsasz in a way that they never would for you, smoothly and easily, club patrons giving him polite, frightened nods as he pulled you past. His grip on your hand was tight and harsh, squeezing as if you might try to run, but in all honesty, you were marveling at how warm his skin was around yours. You didn’t hate the way he led you over to his employer, and you knew that he was being gentle, or at least his version of it.

When he brought you before Roman Sionis, he immediately let go of you, moving to stand next to his boss. Roman himself was sitting in a booth, sinking into the lavish red velvet upholstery as he held a drink in his gloved hand. He regarded you with a calm smile, immediately gesturing for you to take a set across from him.

So you did, and the rest was history.

Roman Sionis had heard of you, and when he realized that you lived in the East End, in his East End, he had to have you. He had to own you. So, he did what he always did with people, and he bought you. All you had to do was complete one little, simple job for him, and he would keep you around on a regular salary, giving you all the benefits of joining his tiny little family. You passed his test with flying colors, taking out your target faster than Roman could have hoped for, and the next thing you knew, you were spending your days lurking around Roman’s penthouse.

You stayed quiet and obedient, not wanting to give Roman any reason to get rid of you. It was a good, steady gig, one you didn’t want to pass up, but you could tell that Zsasz wasn’t pleased. He scowled at you, always waiting for you to trip, always ready to watch you fall. You got the feeling that he viewed you as an intruder, someone who was messing up his life even though you gave him more than enough space. He would raise his lip in a sneer whenever you passed, showing off gold teeth in a maddeningly handsome way that always had you hoping and praying that he wouldn’t notice the way your cheeks sometimes flushed. He never seemed to care, as he never made any other moves. Maybe he was under strict orders not to fuck with--or just plain fuck---you, or maybe he legitimately didn’t want to.

You didn’t know why you had started to care so much.

You didn’t know about the way he watched your ass when you walked away from him, or the lewd way he sometimes palmed himself right out in the open. You never heard his pants and moans as he got off to the thought of you wrapped around him, and you never got to hear your name rolling off his tongue as he spilled into his hand, hips rocking of their own accord.

Yeah, Zsasz was pretty much head over heels. He was fucked.

He didn’t know why he liked you so much. There was just something about you, something about the way you walked and talked that always made his cock hard. He had reached the point where you would enter a room, and his pants would grow tight. Did you even know? Could you possibly fathom the torture you were putting him through every single day in Roman’s penthouse? Zsasz wanted to grab you and bend you over something, anything, hike that cute little skirt up and just go to town on your cunt. He dreamed about it at night, he wanted it, he craved the taste of your pussy...

But he couldn’t have it.

Not yet.

He would wait. He could be patient. After all, Roman came first. Roman always came first. Zsasz needed to focus on keeping his boss calm and happy, and he couldn’t afford to get distracted, no matter how much he wanted to press you up against the windows and fuck you so that the entire East End could see who you belonged to.

No matter how badly he wanted it, Zsasz would wait.

#victor zsasz #victor zsasz x reader #zsasz x reader #bop zsasz #birds of prey zsasz #birds of prey imagine #birds of prey x reader #roman sionis #dceu #dc imagines

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maliciouslycreative · 3 years

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How I played damage control to an anti in a small anime fandom and may have led to her ultimate downfall

I know I had a really nice write up of this at one point but oh well. I’ll spill more of the tea in this one because honestly the tea was so hot.

There are a few things that I have to give context to first. Gaia online was like THE mega forum of the 2000s, you made a little avatar and through posting and doing other activities on the forum you made money to buy clothes for your avatar. There were forums for everything but the fannish portions were really what drew in most of the people. The anime I was into was Beyblade. It was a shonen anime about fighting with tops that were possessed by the spirits of magical creatures. The story was honestly pretty average but the characters were fantastic and the fandom is to this day still one of my favourites. The series had a primarily male cast and didn’t even have a female lead until the second season. This led to the fanfic for the English fandom being about 70% canon/OC, 10 % canon m/f, and 20% slash. The most popular character in the English fandom was by far Kai Hiwatari, the loner badboy of the team.

Also before we get started I would like to add that one of my best friends was neck deep in this and the two of us were more or less fandom married. This is the same friend that I fake dated, had feelings for, and she nearly got me into kpop in 2011 so like if you haven’t read that story please read it too because it will give you a good idea of how stupid I am and how much of a fanfic I have truly lived.

To set the stage I was 16, soon to be 17 when I joined the fandom and it was 2004. In September of that year I wrote a humour longfic that became an absolute smash hit and I found myself somehow fandom famous. It was around this time that I joined Gaia online. I made my little avatar and immediately went looking for the beyblade thread so that I could make new friends. I found the main thread, made my little introduction and at the end of it mentioned that I was a slash writer but I supported all ships. This is where I met C. She had declared herself the authority on Beyblade in these parts and I had just committed the crime of mentioning slash which was very obviously not canon and we did not discuss in this thread because we only discussed canon things. I was like well that’s a bit severe but like sure whatever I just want to hang out and have fun.

Oh boy did I have no idea what I was in for.

C was a year older than me and unfortunately that made her older than the majority of the fans at the time. Her favourite character was Kai, and she was not shy about talking about this fact. She stanned Kai above all other characters, and often at their expense. She was also a fanfic writer of a popular canon/OC series. Actually, she was so full of herself that she didn’t even call herself a fanfic writer, no her stories were in fact novels and were apparently very good. I never read them. But more on that later.

Eventually the slash fans got tired of her being rude to us in the general thread so we made a Beyblade slash thread. There was a core of like 8 or so of us and we honestly had sooo much fun. When C would be too unbearable in the main thread the people from there used to come over to our thread and we’d chat with them about non slash stuff because we were honestly all multishippers and just wanted to have fun. We’d get comments like “wow, I’ve had more pleasant canon het ship discussions in the slash thread than the regular thread”. We never worried about C coming over and getting upset about comments like this because she refused to be associated with anything related with slash lmao.

I tried my best to keep the peace between C, myself, and the rest of the fandom because ultimately I hate being in fandom drama. I just want everyone to have a good time. I’m a people pleaser. Unfortunately my newfound fame put me in the awkward position of being the most fandom popular person in our small community aside from C. Virtually every fan that read fanfics that came into our thread knew one of us or the other by reputation and C HATED this. Especially because people would come in to the thread, recognise me and go “oh my goodness I love your fanfics!” and I’d be super sweet with them and it’d lead into “I can’t believe how nice you are, I love you” which would lead to us crying at each other. This was not the kind of fan interaction that C got, no her fans were more kind that were there to praise her and worship her like a deity that had blessed them with some gift. Rarely did they tell her how kind she was.

Back in the mid 2000s there were really commonly those commercials (usually by Christian organisations) asking people to sponsor say children in Africa or to help build schools or provide drinking water. You all probably know the ones; know the language that they used in those commercials. My fandom wife, who I suppose I shall call wifey because yes we were THAT couple back then, once said that C described her fics like those people described donating money to save the lives of Children in Africa. So we used to joke that her fics were so good they’d save lives in Africa. Looking back at it all, she almost had a very fundamentalist Christian approach to bringing people into her fanfics. She of course tried to get all the slash people into reading it. None of us read canon/oc fic mostly due to our poor treatment at the hands of their fans and creators. Getting fed up I one day told her that if she would read any one of my fanfics that I would read the entirety of her novels. Yes, I was willing to commit to read a couple 100k of canon/oc fanfic that I’d never touch normally if she would even read one of my 1k 1 shots. Heck, I had a fic even that shipped 2 minor characters so she didn’t even have to sully herself reading about one of the main characters. It was honestly a good deal in her favour. I kept this up until the day we all left the fandom. Sometimes I do wonder if her fics were even ¼ as good as she claimed, but I will never know because she refused to read my fics.

She wasn’t all bad and a tyrant all the time. As long as people kept the conversations on track and didn’t come in to the thread saying things like “KAI IS SO HOT ND T3H BEST N I AM GUN 2 MARRY HIM” she stayed mostly civil. It was always hilarious watching InuYahsa or Naruto fans try to come in and bad mouth Beyblade because they’d unleash the dragon and C was great at chasing off undesirables in the thread.

The real apex of goings on though on Gaia was the guild drama. So guilds were like exclusive themed mini forums within Gaia. Anyone could buy one and run it however they want, as long as it still adhered to Gaia’s ToS. C of course was the owner of the only Beyblade guild. The fandom wasn’t really big enough to support 2 guilds so we just kind of let it go. Technically she allowed people to post slash fanfics but like everything had to be explicitly tagged and there was absolutely no slash RP. Wifey and I controlled a handful of minor characters together in the forum RP and definitely used to try to push the boundaries a little bit. Some ambiguous flirting here, a stray comment there. It was such a fragile balance though because C was heavy on the ban button. The active portion of the guild was just people that were in the cult of C and worshipped her writing.

Understandably the other slash fans and myself were getting disheartened by this. So we pooled our funds together and decided that we’d open a second guild that though it was run by slash fans we would welcome anyone into our ranks. We just wanted to have a fun place for everyone to hang out, and to hopefully run a few events out of. In hindsight, we should have seen what would happen. When we opened the guild, with me as the guild leader, it was like somebody blew up the whole dam protecting the delicate ecosystem we had cultivated. Every single person in the Gaia fandom that was not a zealous follower of C applied to be in our guild and left her guild. We of course figured that we’d attract some of the gen population but we did not expect to accidentally poach all of it. All of the moderators were getting messages from people thanking us for giving them a place where they could say whatever they wanted without fear of getting their faces ripped off or banned.

C lost her shit. She was so mad that we went behind her back to ruin her guild. We literally had to show her posts in the very public slash thread that we had been planning this in public and that it was not to ruin her life. We just wanted a place where we could freely post slash. The two of us had some spicy comments back and forth and then she dropped an absolute bombshell on me. Since Gaia’s mail system is terrible I unfortunately no longer have exactly what she said but it was something along the lines of “Ok, you win. I’m going to close my guild.”. Us slash fans had never been doing this to win anything. We had never been competing. We just wanted a safe space to be ourselves.

C never joined our guild. The fandom slowly faded out within the next year anyway. We weren’t getting new content so naturally people just drifted into other fandoms. C kept up with the main Beyblade thread for a lot longer than most of us but eventually that eventually faded into obscurity too.

I learned a lot about fandom bullies from those days. But honestly the thing that stuck with me the most out of everything was that if you provide a positive safe space for people they will flock to it. It may seem like there are so many hostile people out there, but there really aren't. They're the minority but they just make sure that their voice is the loudest. The best way is to ignore them and just do your own thing. The bullies just want attention and if you don’t give it to them and prove to them that their opinion doesn’t matter to you then they’ll move in and find something else to yell at.

#malicious musings #stacey's adventures in fandom drama #lol #honestly it was such a fucking wild time #if i think of any other specific instances of drama i'll add them #god i wish i had screenshots of some of what went on #but sadly going through archived gaia posts is easier said than done

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princeoftheroses · 3 years

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Since you want asks, PLSSSE I want your Utena TH0ughts. WHAT is your favourite black rose episode? actually how do you feel about the black rose arc in GENERAL

black rose arc, black rose arc, oh black rose arc!!! by you adding how do i feel about the arc in general you are unleashed me to make a long post giving my very disorganized thoughts about this arc.

a couple of people call it a filler arc? i guess technically it is because it does not directly contribute to the main storyline and it wasn't in the manga and also the ending of the arc sort of makes it so the whole arc kind of didn't happen???

but also i think if a person labeled it as a filler arc they are kind of missing the point?? even if it doesn't contribute to the main plot (which it absolutely DOES but i'll get to that) it adds so much nuance to the characters of utena.

you get to see side characters and how they tick!! some of which like kozue and shiori become very important later as they become miki and ruka's rose brides in the akio arc! (side note : what was up with ruka he just kind of showed up and disappeared lmaooo)

also, it adds to akio! (tw warning for only the next paragraph, i'm talking about akio so you can except me talking about grooming and abuse)

not only is this where akio is introduced, but he is always so omnipresent. it was ... honestly really terrifying to see how chill he acts with utena here. of course the real grooming begins in the akio arc but you can see how he starts here. how he kind of builds himself as anthy's cool older brother that utena can trust and ask for advice for... but we the audience know that he CANNOT be trusted as even know we see him being shady af in the background. i really feel like if we skipped straight from the first arc to akio arc a lot of the creepiness of akio would not have been realized because of ... just how NORMAL he akio acts to utena. he's charming, he's smart, and he overall is somebody utena SHOULD be able to trust bc we should all be able to trust an immediate family member of a best friend , but of course the world doesn't really work that way. anyway akio tangent over because BOOOOOO akio (he honestly terrifies me so much because of how many predators like that exist and you can meet without realizing their intentions)

BACK TO BLACK ROSE ARC

one of the main reasons i feel like this isn't a filler arc, at least not in the traditional sense of the phrase, is because it builds a lot character relationships. something that i didn't like when i first watched revolutionary girl utena but now is one of my FAVORITE things is that for a while we don't really get a straight forward utena/anthy episode. because their relationship doesn't need to build in an episode, it just slowly builds over time. we just see these two causally existing and they just start to trust each other.

in the akio arc we get to see just how close utena/anthy have gotten over the series because of their late night conversations. like how if the black rose arc didn't exist akio wouldn't have been as impactful, if the black rose arc didn't exist it would feel more sudden how close utena/anthy have grown imo.

this arc adds a lot to the world as well. as long as the students stay inside of school they will not grow. dead people wander the halls thinking that they are still alive. these two facts contribute a lot to utena theorizing and analysis (mainly, the ideas that ohtori exists within a plain of frozen time literally because of anthy's magic and metaphorically because the cast is very cozy in their coffin) and i could not thank this arc for that enough. not only are these very cool ideas that may or may not have inspired elements in my own story (i can neither confirm or deny that one of my oc story is heavily inspired by utena) but they just add so many layers!

this arc also felt necessary because of the new duelists??? if we went straight from the first arc to the akio arc then it would've kinda gotten very tiring to see the student council constantly duel and lose to utena (with the exception of touga's sole victory to utena in the first arc before she duels him again and wins) but these new duelists possessed by the black rose are very interesting!

if i did have to make a compliant about this arc, though, i will say that at times the stories felt very disconnected to each other. while it was very funny for utena to not even know who keiko was when she dueled her, it would've been nice if sometimes the arc of the black rose duelist intertwined more with utena. as the arc goes on, the student council is on alert and is trying to figure out where the black rose is coming from, but they never really try to ask utena about it and utena never really tries to get involved? she just is chill until she gets the note to go to the duel arena to fight the black rose duelist. i don't really have a solution on how to fix this? maybe have the student council member that the black rose duelist takes the sword from be more involved? idk.

the villain of this arc mikage also really fascinates me??? i... really like him??? but not even as a villain ... i just really pity him. the realization he has in his duel with utena that everything he has been doing is for nothing because mamiya is already dead .. that always really hit me? the horror in his voice when he starts to recall the truth in his false memories.... for some reason, this is one of the most terrifying parts of the show for me. the realization that something you were doing, something you were doing that might've been awful but you were doing it because of somebody you care about deeply and love, it was all for nought. how much time he has wasted...

even before his duel with utena, there's this moment when after he got punched by utena he says something like "if she hadn't seen my duelist ring and challenged me to a duel, she could've killed me" or something like that, he's just so pathetic and i feel very bad for him but at the same time am too disconnected to him to truly feel empathy for him... that's some TOP TIER shit

overall, this part of the show is one of my favorites. the only part i like more is the last few episodes because it makes me very emotional.

NOW FOR THE SPECIFICS

favorite black rose duelist: honestly? wakaba. the girl deserves it this is stress relief for her. not only is this duel very emotional as i don't think we've ever seen utena refuse to duel somebody (at least not in the way that she does in this episode) but just the SHEER emotion.

i'm a real sucker for fighting the person you care about the most which is why the dark signer arc in yugioh 5ds is the best yugioh arc and this just really takes the cake in this arc. utena always shows concern for the black rose duelist because they are clearly people in pain who were not able to properly duel with their grief which let mikage manipulate them, but it's taken to a new level here.

the way that after the duel is completed, wakaba comes home to her empty dorm where saionji used to be but now isn't always gets me. she's just such a lonely girl and that's never really resolved for her. a lot of the other duelists have a optimist note to end on (kozue asking miki for a milkshake, shiori and juri saying hello to each other as they walk past, keiko being friends with nanami again, etc.) which is why the fact that wakaba is more alone now then she is ever... it is a feeling i can relate to an almost embarrassing amount.

favorite episode: COWBELL OF HAPPINESS, NANAMI TURNS INTO A COW-

ANTHY YOU GLORIOUS TROLL-

favorite episode that isn't cowbell of happiness: i'm very torn between the landscape scaped by kozue and thorns of death. shiori and kozue are both very interesting characters that i like a lot. but i'm going to go with thorns of death for now, as while i really like the landscape scaped by kozue, i think my preferred miki/kozue episode is their episode in the akio arc. meanwhile i like thorns of death way more than i liked whispers in the arc (mostly because i just do not really care that much for ruka, but azure paler than the sky was a banger and he was in that?) i just loved the feeling of seeing shiori the girl juri loves so much and juri's reaction to seeing her. the way my heart was wrenched when black rose shiori mocks juri... it really did hit different. but the hopeful ending did make me feel a lot better. i do like the way that juri out of all the student council members is the one closest to self actualization and this really sets that up even if there is still a bumpy road until then.

honorary mention: the boys of the black rose and kanae as a black rose duelist are both really great. i feel like if this wasn't the arc opener it would've had more room to stretch its legs and show how horrific it could've been. kanae is a girl i feel really bad about and similar to wakaba, i don't really think her episode was a very optimistic ending for her especially since akio probably killed her later in the show?

honestly the minute akip appeared on screen, engaged to a girl who HASN'T EVEN GRADUATED and is also emotionally manipulating her so much and having his little sister manipulate her too... throw the whole man away

tl;dr - the black rose arc is very good and i like it a lot, the ending of the arc really fucks me up, somebody give mikage & all the black rose duelists therapy, throw akio in the garbage, and this show probably exists in some sort of time loop / frozen time space as a metaphor for the whole coffin thing but you can probbaly find people smarter than me talking about that.

oh and go rewatch cowbell of happiness it's great

#this is what i do at 4 am #i started writing this at like 3 45 am and it is now 4 25 am :)#worth it #hope you like my shitty analysis and thoughts !!! i enjoyed writing it thoruugly #revolutionary girl utena #asks

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lorei-writes · 3 years

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How To: Comments

A brief guide to commenting under the fics by Lorei.

As some of you may know, I am a court overthinker. I know that human interactions can be scary - and honestly, sometimes so is commenting. However... I wish that anxiety did not stand in way of interactions between readers and the author. So, to cut this introduction short: from me, an anxious writer-overthinker, to you, any person who may need it.

Contents:

Few general truths.

Do’s.

Don’ts.

All things I will talk about stem from my personal experience and observations. It may vary to some extent between writers, although I did my best to stick to the general trends and to mark where something is more of my personal opinion.

EDIT: As per usual, this is just the general “this will be most likely okay”. If you are doing things differently and it works out for you - great! No need to change that. This was written with people who may be anxious and/or overthinking the matter in particular. I also tried to remove myself from this as much as possible.

Few general truths.

Does my comment even matter?

Yes, it does, especially for longer series. It may be one of the few things pulling the writer through a crisis.

Your comment notifies the writer that they are indeed seen, that their words reached somebody. If the story resonated with you in any way, letting the writer know that it did may boost their self-confidence, and perhaps even motivate them to keep on writing.

The writer didn’t reply to my comment. Did I do something wrong?

No! In plenty cases, the writer may not know how to reply, simply as that. They may not have enough time, they may be too tired - just the ordinary, mundane life stuff can cause such a thing too.

An important thing to remember here is that they still appreciate it, even if they don’t have enough resources to reply to every single person - or even any of them.

How do I know the writer even welcomes comments?

Unless it is specified they do not want comments (or a certain type of comments), assume those are always welcome.

Do’s

Good will and courage is one thing, but... What could a comment even include?What things are appropriate? Ahhh, no, this is too hard...!

*catches your hand and pulls you back* No, no, no, don’t run, I’ve got you covered!

First, remember that it is way more likely that what you want to say is okay than for it to be inappropriate. Worst case scenario, the writer will tell you that well, you missed the mark - but! Then you will have the knowledge on what to avoid doing. Your potential to cause plenty good is still way greater than that to cause harm. Not only that! You can apologize! We are humans. We all make errors. Never doing a thing in fear of messing up never leads anywhere.

So, what things are generally okay*?

If the story made you feel something, say so! For example: “This made me feel happy!” “I smiled too much because of this story!” “I’m crying, nooo.” “This is so sad!” “My heart has melted.” “This made my day!” “I love it!”

If you can’t find words for your state, emojis work too! For example: 😭 ❤️ ❤️ 😳 💖 🥺 🥺 🥺 😍 💯✨

Of course, mixing up emojis with text is a great idea! The only thing you may want to be mindful of is that screen-readers do interpret emojis too - so you perhaps want to avoid emoji-[word]-emoji combinations (which overall, applies to the internet in general, btw).

The story made you think about something? Elaborate! The tricky part here is that yes, you are sharing your thoughts, but you should also tell the writer something nice about their work. The rule of thumb seems to be that it is the story that is in the spotlight, not your experience - or, in other words, you are speaking of the experience in relation to the work, not the work in relation to the experience. For example: “I love your OC, they are so relatable! I don’t think I have ever seen a character which spoke to me so much. I struggle with XYZ too, so I’m feeling for them, I know it’s hard :(” “AAAAAA. The theme of red string reminds me a little of a certain superstition. Some people here think red bows are a good-luck charms. This is wonderful, I love it. 😭💖”

Now, this may seem a little self-centered. Allow me to explain why I insist the story is kept in the spotlight. Imagine that you’ve spent your time on writing a story, however much of it. Let’s assume it’s about missing a long-deceased pet. Then, you get this comment:

“Nooo, this is so sad, I used to have a dog like that too 😭 His name was Teddy and we were best friends. We’d oftentimes sit together and sometimes I’d throw him a stick. Whenever I would cry, he’d come snuggle up with me, and he wouldn’t leave me until HOURS after I’ve calmed down. I miss him so much, I wish dogs could live forever 😭 “

Now, this makes the situation uncomfortable. You must remember that well, sometimes you may still be almost complete strangers to one another, and this much information puts a great emotional load on the writer. Is it still the writer’s space after such comment, or...? Yeah. It is a bit of a lapse in regards to well, knowing a person.

You are simply thankful and don’t know what to say? Express gratitude! For example: “Thanks for writing <3 “ “I really needed to read this story.” “Thank you!”

Other things which generally are okay to include:

key smashes (as part of the comment, so that the author knows what you mean) For example: “I’m wheezing ghesgeskgess” “ghoeigjeshes THANK YOU”

quoting the part of the work you especially liked + adding emoji at the end/commenting something under it

listing the things you enjoyed about the work

Of course, you can do some of those, you can do all of those, you can do just one - whichever suits you!

Don’ts

Okay, we know what is going to be fine. Now, what things to avoid?

Do not give critique unless the writer clearly asked for it.

Critique must be consensual. Unsolicited advice is not. Sure, your intention may be good, but it leads to backhanded compliments and nobody likes those.

Example of what not to do:

“I enjoyed it, tho it was rater boring at first and it took me several tries to even get to the half of it. Like, some things were confusing? [Explanation]. Overall, yeah, hard to understand and boring at first, but I liked it.”

Now you may ask - is the writer exempt from feedback?! And the answer is... Yes, honestly, yes. Unless they ask for it, yes. As long as they don’t hurt anybody - yes. Although then I suggest blocking instead of going on a crusade.

FanFiction isn’t the same as published books. We don’t get paid for it. It is simply an act of sharing what you enjoy with the world, like a sort of perpetuum-mobile. FanFiction propels the reader, the reader comments and thus puts the writer in motion.

Now, you can say that something made you sad. You can say that something made you angry, or that it wasn’t what you were expecting. BUT. Make sure you aren’t demanding the writer changes those things.

This stretches also to typos, grammar errors, etc. - unless you are absolutely sure the writer asks for this sort of feedback, assume it is unwelcome.

Also, from my personal experience: it happened to me once. I did not know what to reply and went on with my standard apologetic... Ekhem. I regret it. The person who commented knew less about the issue than I did.

EDIT: There is also another reason for this - most often, if a person wants to get feedback, they look for a beta-reader. Beta-reader is a person who reads the work before it is posted. Generally, they point out errors and inaccuracies. However, for it to work well, you need a certain sort of fit, both in how the message is delivered (some people do well with harsher criticism, some need to be more gentle with them), in the writing style, and so on. Another thing when looking for a beta-reader is that, well, you generally look for a person that knows more than you do, or is at a similar level. This isn’t to say that we know more than every single person out there - only that it’s hard to ascertain it at first glance and it’s generally better to talk about it before any critique is delivered. Communication is the key.

Do not ask when the next part will be posted/when your request will be completed unless you are sure the writer is okay with such questions.

When this happens, many writers feel as if they were being pressured into working harder.

Do not write fleshed out paragraphs of what you think should have happened.

If you have an idea for a story - write it. Again, we write in our free time and do it for fun. This feels like being pressured or told what to do.

What may be more grey in regards to whether it is okay or not is theorising about what happens next. To me, personally, that would be okay, but you may want to ask your writer whether they are okay with this sort of things - for example, by writing a comment with a short theory and then asking whether it’s okay to do so? However, be mindful not to tap into suggesting or putting too much pressure on what must happen.

Do not write “Imagine that... [fleshed out scenario]” type comments.

Those are basically requests hidden as comments.

Do not compare writers to other writers (You are so much better than XYZ/ You wrote trope X so much better than XYZ).

This is pretty self-explanatory. We want to lift each other up, not feel better about ourselves because of putting others down.

Another slippery situation here: some people may mind being compared to published authors. Some may not. It is hard to tell, there is no strict rule here.

Hmm... I think it’s about it? ^^” I hope it was helpful ^^” Overall, if you avoid those major Don’ts, you should be good ^^”

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badger-writes · 3 years

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Star Wars OC Ship Week 2021 - “for light and love”

3 - Angst/Drama

When Jedi found themselves troubled, they visited the Room of a Thousand Fountains.

Throughout its history, this chamber of the Jedi Temple ziggurat had always been set aside as a meditative refuge, a sanctuary of verdant greenery and trickling waters. Assembled herein one could find a collection of flora both native and foreign, from blartree blossoms and chrysanthis shrubs to a bahnsgresk bush grove to trebala and assari trees, shading the walkways with their trunks and branches - a garden of a thousand worlds.

Though the caretakers of this special corner of the Temple had always strived to enforce a kind of olamic traditionalism to its furnishings, the spirit of the times sometimes encroached upon this timeless space; and so the High Republic crept into the Room of a Thousand Fountains by way of its masonry, which now favored heavy geometric influences, stylized decorative reliefs, and smooth, streamlined lines which swept their way around the room in a sheen of gold and marble. These elements existed alongside their landscaped counterpoints in a carefully cultivated balance; a chamber with one foot in the ageless past, and the next in the bold, brilliant future that the Republic promised to all.

Here, one could pause for a moment, immersed in the energy of the Living Force, and reflect upon themselves and their place in the universe.

It was not a place Sskeer visited often.

Though the paths were lined with benches to encourage thoughtful rest, he preferred to keep moving, pacing through the gardens at a stride just above his typical walking speed; his feet seemed to slap the stone walkways no matter how he tried to control himself, trying to beat out his frustrations through their soles. Not for the first time, he considered that the best place for him to ruminate on his disquiet was not the Room of a Thousand Fountains. In the sparring chambers, at least, he would be less… disruptive.

He rounded a corner, emerging from a grove of hedges, and stopped. At the end of the short path rolling out before him lay a plaza surrounding one of the chamber’s great sculpted fountain fixtures; a great bowl-shaped basin spread out from its center, and rising into the air within its circumference were several other, smaller basins, overflowing with hanging moss and vines and pakiphanto ear plants, each of them carrying a tiny stream of clear water which trickled from their highest point to their lowest and back again. A tiny column-shaped islet rose out of the center of the basin, only large enough to hold the holoprojector installed in its capital; out of the projector’s eye shimmered an image of one of the era’s eventual Great Works, the Starlight Beacon. The huge space station, when it was finished, would be an outpost of progress and charity to all the worlds of the Outer Rim, a promise of the prosperity of the Republic and the justice of the Jedi. It hovered above the surface of the waters, framed by the hanging gardens, spinning slowly on its axis. Even on this much, much smaller scale, Sskeer couldn’t help but be impressed.

Someone else was standing at the edge of the basin - a Rodian with pale skin and a rather distinctive topknot. Sskeer crossed the way over to his side.

“Healer Lem,” he rumbled, crossing his arms. “It’s good to see you.”

“Oh,” Kelto mumbled, glancing. “Hello, Sskeer.”

“You appear troubled.”

“Am I so obvious?”

“It is no sin. I find myself frustrated tonight as well.”

Kelto hummed. The sound of it was hollow - less inquisitive, more melancholy. “I don’t know if I can help with that, but, you know… let me know.”

Sskeer cocked his head. “Why would you think that?”

“I just - I’m not a Consular, that’s all. Cuts and bruises, I can handle. The talking thing, it’s… I don’t do that so well.”

“Perhaps. But even so, as long as you’re here... I would appreciate your company. And I sense you would benefit from mine.”

“I… maybe. I guess.”

The Trandosham crossed his arms and raised an brow. “Perhaps you would like to discuss what’s been troubling you?”, he suggested.

Kelto opened his mouth… and closed it. “No, no. That’s okay. Thank you, but... I’ll manage.”

“Are you sure?”

“I mean, it’s pretty late already. The last thing you must want is to stand here and listen to my problems.”

“Try me.”

A shrug.

Sskeer exhaled slowly through his nose. His gaze flicked back to the pool before them, where waterlilies floated tranquilly upon the rippling face of the waters.

“I think I should insist,” he said quietly. “As a friend.”

“... I don’t want to burden you.”

“It wouldn’t be a burden.” A pause. “Not from you.”

Sighing, Kelto fell silent. He, too, kept his eyes fixed on the pond’s mirrorlike surface. Then, slowly, his gaze turned upwards, towards the hologram suspended above them.

“That’s really something,” he said wonderingly. “Isn’t it? The Beacon, I mean. It’s just... incredible. That the Republic and the Jedi can build something like that? Imagine what it can do for people living on the frontier.”

Nodding, Sskeer studied the diagram as well. “A space station on the galactic fringe can do little by itself,” he commented. “It needs people, too. Diplomats, explorers…”

“Guardians,” Kelto said wryly.

“Yes. And healers.” Sskeer gave him a sympathetic glance. “It would be an honor to be stationed there, would it not?”

The Rodian pursed his lips. They flattened into a noncommittal line as he shrugged. “Not really my thing,” he mumbled.

“I find it hard to believe you’d refuse an assignment where you could do so much good so easily.”

“Yeah, well.” And then Kelto went silent, leaning against the rim of the fountain.

Sskeer let his arms fall to his sides, brow furrowing. “You’re serious.”

A sad little shrug.

“You’d really waste your talents hiding in the Temple, rather than using them for the good of others? Without even an explanation? Are you so callous?”

In truth, he almost regretted saying it. But it did, at least, provoke a reaction from Kelto, who turned away from the fountain at last. “I’m not callous.”

“Selfish, then. Hoarding your knowledge and abilities for one one’s benefit but your own. Or perhaps just cowardly?”

“W-what is this, Sskeer? An inquisition? I thought you were trying to help me!”

“I am,” he said firmly. “But I don’t know what’s wrong. Blast it, Lem, it’s as if you’ve just… given up!”

Irritation launched his voice an octave higher than he meant, transforming a sentence into a bark. The lilies bobbed on the water. For a moment, Starlight Beacon flickered.

For a moment, Kelto stared at him agape, and Sskeer noticed his eyes (the first thing he’d noticed about him had been his eyes, long months ago, and the shiny white spots lying just under their aqueous outer membrane, that peculiar Rodian quality of seeming to hold a sky’s worth of stars in their surface) seemed brittle, now, and dull. Where there had once been light there was now not dark, but … an absence. An open pit in the soul.

Sskeer’s heart panged with sorrow. What frustration still lingered on his face passed like a fleeting shadow. Silently, he waited.

At last, Kelto sighed, clasping his hands back behind his waist; his fingers continued to fidget and twiddle as he turned back to the pond. For a moment, Sskeer feared he had broken their friendship, perhaps irrepairably.

Then Kelto said, “So the thing is… I’m kind of a bad Jedi.”

“No,” the Trandoshan insisted in a whisper.

“I am, Sskeer. What you said is true. And what’s more, you’re right to call me out. I’m cowardly, and selfish, and I hide myself in the healing wards instead of really doing anything with the talent and opportunities that I’ve been given. I…” He snorted, shaking his head. “I’m at the point where I fear being in public more than I fear the dark side. How stupid is that?”

Sskeer swallowed, mouth dry. He wondered what he could possibly say.

“I just… I don’t know how it happened. I was fine in the creche, I think. I- I had friends, I got along with people. I could… Star’s End, I could hold one conversation with somebody else without falling all to pieces, like I do with you.”

“That’s not your fault,” Sskeer said quickly. “I - that is, we - there’s... extenuating circumstances. Passion is just - ”

“Yeah, HoloNet news flash: feelings are hard,” Kelto murmured darkly. “Believe me, big guy, I know.”

“I only wanted to--” Sskeer grunted, biting his tongue. If only Jora Malli were here to help him talk some sense into Kelto.

“But then I grew up,” Kelto continued. “And I was still, you know, okay! I could… work with my Master, and with others, and I helped people… and then I was knighted, and I just… there was all this shyness and anxiety inside of me, and it just kept growing and growing and growing until… until I just couldn’t take other people anymore, except when I had the energy for it.

“I think that’s the real reason I transferred back to the Temple. I just… couldn’t take it anymore, putting myself out there. At least in the medical bay, it’s just a job. You can find a niche and serve and go back to your quarters. You don’t have to… to be seen all the time.

“But who did I serve, huh? Younglings with scraped knees and bloody noses. Nobody who really needed it. Nobody who would’ve died if I hadn’t been there. Meanwhile, how many people on the frontier do you think need a healer right now? How many won’t last the night? Because right now, Sskeer, I’m letting down all of them. And believe me, I know it.”

Kelto paused, taking a gulp of air, and looked up at the brilliant blue hologram again. “And then I heard about Starlight Beacon. And I felt… I felt something, deep down. Like the Force was trying to give me a second chance. Like I could - like I could make up for all of it, if I could only just get over myself.

“And I tried to,” he said thickly, snout quivering. “Please, Sskeer - believe whatever you want about me, but please, please believe I tried to fix whatever’s wrong with me. But-- b-but I just--”

Sskeer took him by the elbow and turned him back towards himself, grasping his much smaller arms in his clawed fingers. “Don’t talk this way,” he murmured. “Whatever you’re thinking, it’s not true.”

“W-well, maybe it is,” Kelto hiccupped, eyes wet. His face crumpled more and more the longer he spoke. “After everything with me, and then you, and the Code -- maybe I just can’t hack it as a Jedi. Maybe I was never supposed to, a-and I just got lucky, and now - and now I - ”

“What, Kelto?”

“And now I’m dragging you down with me.”

For a long moment, they stood there, staring at each other. Kelto sniffled horribly, scrubbing at his eyes with the heel of one hand. Sskeer’s mouth hung slightly agape, but his mind seemed to be lost somewhere, thrown far away.

“Just let me go,” he whispered, blinking hard. “Please. I- I’ll go, okay? I can just… leave. The Jedi - they’ll all be better off, and - a-and so will you.”

“No,” Sskeer said suddenly. His grip tightened around Kelto’s arms like a vise.

“I-I’m serious, big guy. I think… I think I’m done. I tried, and-- and I failed.”

“You listen to me, little healer. You will not leave, and you will not give up on yourself, do you understand? I won’t allow it. I refuse to.”

“Sskeer - Sskeer, please, come on. I’m not worth it--”

“Yes you are,” the Trandoshan hissed. “Even if you won’t see it.”

“Look here,” he continued, seizing one of the Rodian’s wrists. He pushed the palm of Kelto’s hand into his chest, letting his fingers splay out against his robes, over his heart. “Remember what you did here, for someone you barely knew. Remember how you used your gift for nothing else than to help a creature in need. Does that seem like failure to you?”

Kelto shrugged weakly, trembling.

“And then you confronted that fear and anxiety inside, that same day, and every day after that. All for the sake of me. Would a coward do that, Kelto?”

“I… I don’t know. Maybe?” He swallowed. “I-it was hard, sometimes.”

“I know this now, Kelto. I wish I had before. Perhaps I could have… helped, somehow. Or found some way to help you reach out.”

“It wouldn’t have mattered,” the Rodian muttered, hanging his head. “This - this isn’t something you could have fixed, Sskeer. It was always my problem alone.”

Sskeer growled, deep in his throat. When he turned back to face the pond, he kept his arm around Kelto’s back, still clasping his arm - holding him gently against his side.

“You remind me of myself,” he said finally.

“Now that’s a joke,” Kelto said, sniffing. “I’m - I’m a hot mess, Sskeer. You, you’re just… you’re everything a Jedi Knight should be. You’re magnificent. How could you possibly compare yourself to somebody like me?”

“Did you think you were the only one who doubted his place in the Order?”

Kelto looked up at Sskeer, stunned. The Trandoshan, in turn, stared into the fountain. Starlight Beacon’s reflection glimmered in his eyes; slowly, as he let a sigh out through his nostrils, they fell shut.

“I have… often found myself uncertain about my place in the Jedi,” he said at length. “There are times when our teachings and precepts seem to be... fundamentally incompatible with - who I am. Or, what I am.”

He raised one three-fingered hand out before him, looking down at it, turning it this way and that. He examined the thick scales which lined his skin, the blunt claws that tipped each finger. Shame crept into the lines of his face.

“I am Trandoshan. I know this is no surprise to you - and I, myself, have had many years to acquaint myself with this truth. But for many in the galaxy, when they meet a Jedi Knight for the first time, it is a… surprising thing. For some, it’s even… repulsive. And for that, I cannot judge them.

“The T’doshok may be my race, but I could never call them my people. Not for their instincts for slaughter and cruelty, not for their hunters who trap animals and slaves for their sport, not their ‘Scorekeeper’ who tallies points to the scale of their butchery - the very thought of It is anathema to life itself. A… disgusting perversion of the natural order of the universe. I can be party to none of it.

“And yet-- if not for the Seekers, I might have been. Had the course of my life taken one turn and not another, it would be I hunting the innocent and the weak, soaking my claws in the blood and the filth of that detestable culture. And I’m reminded of that whenever I meet those I’m oathsworn to protect - and the world I’ve left behind is all of myself that they can see.”

“W-well - well, that’s just - that’s just other people, Sskeer, they don’t know any better. And besides, you’ve - you’ve overcome that through your training, right? And your discipline. So.. so it’s not even a problem.”

“Were it so easy to believe,” Sskeer exhaled, clenching his fist.

“What do you mean?”

“There are… moments. When I speak, when I act. When I swing my lightsaber. There’s a - it’s like a beast, Kelto. Like a dragon, inside of me, coiled around my heart. My intensity, ferocity… my frustration… I think this is where they come from. For a long time I believed I was battling the Dark Side, the little bit of it within us all, as a Jedi should. But… perhaps it is deeper than that. Perhaps it is an instinct, a genetic memory. Something in the blood.

Perhaps, as you said, it’s something about myself that can’t be fixed.”

He didn’t know what he’d expected would happen - perhaps a weight would lift from his shoulders. Perhaps the shadow which clung to his heart and his mind would finally pass when he was able to find the words, and speak them. But something would happen, surely, when he finally let this secret shame pass his lips.

Instead, he felt exactly the same. Life was proceeding exactly as it had before. Nothing had changed.

He was still a Jedi. He was still a Trandoshan.

Kelto was still looking at him. He still seemed stricken, but no longer as badly rattled. Sskeer let his hand fall back to his side and turned his face back towards the hologram of Starlight Beacon.

“But perhaps that’s not the point,” he continued. “If we could all banish the flaws within ourselves for all time with only a little effort, we would all be totally perfect creations. Perhaps the point is not whether our feet will always keep to the path of the righteous, but that we walk it as best we can, because the promise of something better lies at its end. Perhaps how far we can walk it does not matter, so long as we remain willing to take another step.

“That is what I think, anyway. And that is why I stay. And as long as I believe that, I can beat back the darkness inside of me a little longer.”

Kelto stared up at him wonderingly. He turned to watch the hologram as well, and for a moment’s pause they watched it slowly turning on the surface of the water, surrounded by verdant, flowering life.

“Every life saved, every battle won, every choice made - every time we turn towards the light, is its own victory. All of it, so that we might bring a light as brilliant as this into the universe,” Sskeer observed. “But we must confront our fears and doubts, and conquer them, before they extinguish our own. How else can we make such things be?”

Kelto tried to swallow, and choked. He brought his fingers up to clasp the Trandoshan’s where they curled around his arm. They didn’t feel monstrous at all. They felt like a friend’s.

“You… you really think I can do it?”

“I know it.”

“I-- gods,” he whispered. “I just-- I’ve tried to go it alone for so long.”

“You shall do so no longer.” Gently, Sskeer turned the Rodian to face him, clasping his hands in his own. “On my oath as a Guardian, Kelto Lem, I vow to do all I can to help you conquer these inner demons. If I must, I will protect you from yourself, as I have tonight. From this moment forward, your pain shall be mine, too - until we banish it forever, no matter how long that takes.

“In turn, I must ask that you swear to join me in this effort with equal vigor and equal determination, until - by virtue of our own will and discipline - you are once more the Jedi that I believe you can be.

“For light and for life.”

“...For light and for life,” Kelto echoed.

Sskeer hummed, nodding. He touched his knuckle against the bottom of Kelto’s chin. “You’re on your oath, now,” he rumbled. “No more talk of leaving.”

“R-right.” The healer took a shaky breath, swallowing, then forced it out slowly through his lips. “I-- thank you, Sskeer. This - this was a dark night for me. The darkest in a while.”

“I shall ward them away,” he replied, a hand to his chest. “That they may torment you no longer. And,” he added, smiling, “you in turn, I think, shall do the same for me.”

Kelto smiled too, brittlely, lips trembling at their corners. Finally, when he could bear it no longer, he threw himself into Sskeer’s arms, burying his face in his chest.

“Thank you,” he mumbled through happy sobs. “Thank you, thank you, thank you…!”

Slowly, Sskeer returned the hug, wrapping his arms as securely around Kelto as he could without crushing him. The Rodian was stood on his toes, swaying, trying to make himself as tall as himself; he shushed into his ear softly, stroking the back of his head with the pads of his fingers.

“I love you so much, Sskeer,” Kelto confessed.

Sskeer shushed him again. The healer was already emotionally compromised enough for one night. There would be time enough to untangle those feelings later - time enough for them both.

Instead, Sskeer held Kelto against his chest and gazed up at the dream of Starlight Beacon, and hoped that one day, both of them would be worthy enough to reach it.

#StarWarsOCShipWeek2021 #star wars #high republic #sskeer #original character #oc x canon #fanfic

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gloves94 · 4 years

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Kingdom of the Sun [Fire Lord Zuko] 3

Chapter Warnings: Heavy petting, angst Story Rating: M Pairings: Zuko/OC

Kingdom of the Sun MASTERLIST Last Airbender MASTERLIST My MASTERLIST

"There you are!" A familiar feminine voice echoed the cave. The cold lovers turned to see Suki and Sokka creeping inside of the hole in the wall that they called an ice cave. Sokka was holding a gas lantern that seemed to glow in the darkness. It had been awfully quiet outside, the only sound that could be heard was the howling wind that blew by. Sokka looked at the couple that was inside. Specifically, at how they were sitting. Zuko was sitting against one of the icy walls slightly hunched forward. In between his wide open legs sat the auburn-haired girl wrapped in his thick wool cape, his arms were around her holding against his body, his head comfortably resting on top of hers. Sokka also noted the discarded winter clothing and weapons that had been carelessly thrown across the small space. A sly knowing grin made way to his face. Those two were freaky and he knew it. "Looks like you two kept busy while hiding out here in your little snow bungalow." He said while childishly sniggering at the red-faced girl’s expression. "I fell through the ice and almost died. Zuko's just… keeping me warm." She explained. The Fire Lord simply breathed out a firey exhale which made him resemble a dragon and shot his friend an irked glare. “Mhnn… Sure,” The Water Tribe boy arched a teasing eyebrow the knowing smirk still plastered to his face. Suki stood next to him with her arms crossed over her chest, her expression mirrored his. The Kyoshi Warrior laughed a little, her eyes drifting up eyeing the cave’s dripping ceiling “I’m surprised the place didn’t melt down.” “Get dressed and let’s get back up. Luckily nobody got hurt. We captured the one responsible for all of this mess.”

xxx The celebratory mood had definitely been killed. It was a miracle Katara’s grandmother hadn’t had a heart attack on the spot or something. It really seemed like it had all been one massive distraction, the only casualty of the several explosions being Tsai’s ship. Thankfully there was no one on board at the time.

She hated to admit it, but her mother had been right. She should’ve known this would happen. Now dressed in warmer clothes, yet still feeling cold and uneasy at the cold brush with death she stood with the group as they huddled outside of a snow building where the assassin’s accomplice was being held. Several oil lamps planted outside illuminated the space. Aang and Katara were still dressed in their ceremonial robes and Tsai couldn’t help but feel guilty about having ruined their ceremony. “He hasn’t said a single word since we captured him,” explained Chief Hakoda who was stepping out from the holding building.

“What matters is that nobody got hurt,” Aang said a hard look on his gray eyes. “This doesn’t make any sense,” Katara said holding a hand against her mouth in a pensive matter. “Why would anybody do this?”

It had obviously all been one large ploy to distract everybody. The assassins knew they wouldn’t be able to kill anyone with the Avatar and his team nearby. A diversion to scatter the group in their separate ways seemed like the best option to then strike.

“I’m sorry,” Tsai stepped forward, eyes lowered in a guilty expression. “This is all my fault. My mother warned me not to come. It’s been happening more and more often now but it’s not rare for somebody to come and try assassinate me- “ “Or me-“ Zuko added at her side, arms crossed over his chest. She looked at him with a concerned expression. He wasn’t wrong. They could’ve both been targets. Two birds one stone. Whoever sent these assassins knew that the Fire Lord and the girl from the Republic of Nations would probably be together. “It was obviously meant to be a distraction so the assassins could strike.”

“Regardless, I’m pretty sure he’s not coming back out of the water.” An unpleasant chill went down her spine as she thought of the man’s dreadful ending. The terrible feeling of the icy water still prickling at her skin like needles. “Question is- who sent them?” Chief Hakoda asked stroking his chin wisely, slightly pacing around in the snow. Tsai looked pensive. Her head lowered with burdening shame before allowing a sigh of defeat escape her lips. “It’s my father,” She admitted. “He’s beyond reason. He’s behind the Anti-Revolutionary Movement. Wants to take the colonies himself as an absolute monarch.” “But the revolution is over,” Sokka butted. “The Republic of Nations has been well established for some time now. He can’t create an uprising, much less by-“ Suki added before her tone faltering in hesitation at the end. “It’s okay, you can say it,” she drowned out to her friend. “By killing me,” she finished her friend’s words. “It’s not the first time that one of our dads went nuts and tried to kill someone in the group.” ‘Although, hopefully it’s the last…’ She thought the last part to herself. Zuko pinched the bridge of his nose. Tsai couldn’t tell if it was either due to frustration, the painful memory of his father or just plain irritation. “So, your father thinks he will accomplish just what by killing you?” Toph asked bluntly with her arms crossed over her chest. “Many see me as a symbol of the independence of the colonies,” She trailed off holding her arm uncomfortably. “He thinks that killing me will send a message, spark a coup d’etât, a movement. We’re not fighting a man here; we’re fighting an ideology.” “What ideology?” Aang probed. “Anarchy,” Zuko responded with a sullen tone. “Your father is an anarchist. I wouldn’t be surprised if his ideals went hand in hand with the New Ozai Society.” The group shared a moment of silence. The hollow wind blowing by. The oil lanterns crackling lightly in the darkness. “So, what are we waiting for?” Toph arched a challenging eyebrow breaking the group silence. “Let’s go back to the Republic and wait for the snakes to come out of their holes,” she punched her own fist an excited grin on her face. Scattered humorous huffs were heard.

Now this was more like the good old days. “It’s not that simple Toph,” Katara butted. “All of these people, they’re underground. They’re not gathered in one place. There’s no way of knowing who’s who or who’s involved.” “There is one way…” Zuko’s eyes glinted darkly as he raised his head up to the building were the hostage was being kept. “He won’t talk.” Hakoda answered as he read the torturous idea the Fire Lord had in mind. “I’ll make him,” Zuko spat in an angry tone. Tsai looked at him with a concerned expression, she didn’t know if it was instinctual or not, but she wrapped her hands around his arm for a moment in an attempt to ground him and his infamous temper. “Zuko’s right. We have to get him to talk,” Sokka trailed off pensively. “Not here. He’ll return to the Fire Nation with me.” The group murmured and discussed ideas to make the captured prisoner cooperate. And yes, Aang’s ‘Why don’t we just ask him nicely?’ was immediately discarded. Lion Turtles, the boy had the patience of a saint.

“For now, this works in our favor. I think our best play is making your father and the other Anti-Revolutionaries think that you’re dead.” The Chief said placing a comforting hand on Tsai’s shoulder for a moment. “What?” Her eyes grew a little wide in surprise. “And then what? He’s going to attack the city again! My brother can’t hold him off alone! What about my family?” “Don’t worry,” Toph continued to squeeze her knuckles and Tsai got the impression that regardless of the situation the girl just really, really wanted to beat someone down. “We’ll lend him a hand.” “It’s also best if your mom and brother think…” Sokka trailed off uneasily. She lowered her head a little. “Geez…” She huffed at the thought. “If my mom finds out I’m not really dead, then I really am dead,” she said dramatically at the thought of facing her mother’s wrath. “I can’t do that to them. It’s too painful,” she pleaded with the group. How could she put her family through such a painfully emotionally ordeal? It would be cruel and unnecessary. “It’s for the best.” Katara said reaching for her arm just like her dad had done a moment ago. “We’ll go deliver the news ourselves. We’ll also be on guard if anything arises.” Katara explained in a comforting tone. “I’ll have an army sent to the Republic of Nations for precaution.” The Fire Lord spoke still seeming deep in thought. “And what am I going to do?” She said frustrated stretching her arms out. “Hide away here in a snow bungalow? “You didn’t seem to mind before,” Sokka muttered under his breath laughing to himself. Earning him a punch on the side to keep quiet from his girlfriend. “You’re more than welcome to stay if you’d like,” Chief Hakoda said in a welcoming tone before retreating and walking inside of the building where Ty Lee and other Southern Tribe Warriors were guarding the prisoner. Her face turned a little blue at the thought of being in the ice tundra for another day. “It might be best if you return to the Fire Nation with Zuko,” Aang said. Her eyes peeled wide open as panic surged through her. Going back to the Fire Nation? With him… She swallowed the breath that had caught in her throat. Maybe that wasn’t the best idea. After all, Fire Nationers weren’t particularly welcoming to her…

Unconsciously her body flinched slightly at the thought. Her mind drifting to unpleasant memories of the last time she was in the nation. “Aang’s right,” Suki added. “There’s no way anyone would be able to hurt you inside of the Fire Nation.” “You’ll be safe there,” Katara insisted. All of her friends were trying to make the girl’s concerned expression morph into a more relaxed one. But how could one relax in a situation like this? Going back to the Fire Nation with Zuko… Yeah maybe they had gotten a little carried away earlier, but it had been a life or death situation. She had a terrible feeling that there would soon be a confrontation between the two of them and frankly she was dreading it. “I’ll keep you safe,” She turned to look at his golden eyes and whole heartedly knew that he meant it. His hand placed gently in the middle of her back. The look in his eyes made her blood warm her ears and she felt an unflattering patch of red form on her neck.

She turned away hoping nobody would notice the blush creeping on her face. Her hands reaching for her hard temples as she rubbed them lightly already anticipating a terrible headache to come. “My mother is going to kill me…” xxx

By the time it was past midnight everybody had once again gone their separate ways. They had all hugged tightly and exchanged their good wishes. Except for Toph. When Tsai attempted to hug her, she made a massive pillar of black earth rise from underneath throwing her off her balance and told her to go hug a snowman or something. The only hope of reuniting in the future being Aang and Katara’s soon to be wedding.

Zuko had decided to travel by airship since it was considered to be faster. Tsai was to be his honored guest and Ty Lee and Suki accompanied them as their Kyoshi Warrior bodyguards. She presently lay alone in a cold bed with her arms wrapped around herself in an attempt to keep warm. She rubbed her feet together, against each other like a cricket, as she was still suffering from the effects of having fallen into the freezing arctic ocean just a couple of hours ago. She would be very surprised if she didn’t develop a cold in the next day or so. She couldn’t sleep. She didn’t know what was keeping her up, if it was her cold body, anguishing concerns over her family, the stress over fighting all of these groups that sought to destroy her and Zuko. Horrible thoughts about the last time she was in the Fire Nation…

She couldn’t be here anymore. She wanted to talk to someone. Carefully tiptoeing out of her room, making sure not to make any noise. She was bluntly caught in the act only a moment after. She stood like a deerdog in headlights. Suki standing outside in the middle of the corridor with her arms crossed over her chest coolly. She gave her friend a knowing look. "Did you want to talk to Zuko?" She asked with a knowing expression on her features. “Me?” Tsai chuckled nervously. “Nope,” she said popping the ‘p’ in the word innocently. “I just got lost.” She lied awkwardly, a nervous grin giving away her intentions of entering the Fire Lord’s chambers in the middle of the night.

Her friend laughed a little and walked towards her shaking her head lightly. “I just want to talk with him,” she explained averting her eyes. With a smirk Suki reached for her sleeping shirt and unbuttoned the top two buttons of it, pulling the hem low to make her cleavage more pronounced. Her hands moved expertly as they reached for the sides of her head and ruffled up her hair making it messier and appear more voluptuous. She finished by pinching her cheeks hard making them turn a blushing red. “Ow!” the other protested. “I told you we’re only going to talk.” She said swatting her hand away. “Sure.” Both girls shared a light laugh. “Go get him,” Suki said nudging her on. “Have a nice talk,” she wiggled her eyebrows teasingly. Actually, causing the other girl’s face to turn even redder. Tsai walked inside of the room carefully. It was pitch black with the exception of a dim candle that sat on the nightstand on the empty side of his large bed. Quietly, she slid her bare feet across the floor hoping not to bump into anything until she reached the edge of his bed. She gathered he was probably fast asleep from the unmoving lump that lay underneath the bed’s covers. The mattress sank under her weight as she climbed on the bed and crawled towards him. She reached for his naked shoulder his name about to drop from her lips when she was suddenly jerked down, a sharp object zooming towards her.

She lay frozen, pinned under a heavy naked torso a blade hovering mere inches away from her eye.

Zuko looked down at her, a firm hand wrapped around her throat lightly pressing down, his knees bended on top of her legs keeping her immobilizing his enemy. His hair loose and undone falling on either sides of his face.

The thought of him welcoming every assassin that attempted to strike him like this made Tsai grow a little envious.

His molten golden eyes looked down at her barely illuminate face. He looked at her messy, long hair sprawled out on the pillow, her flushed face, parted open lips as she held in what he interpreted to be a shaky breath of surprise. He whispered her name in surprise and lowered the knife. “I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I’ve grown used to sleeping with an eye open,” he put the blade on the nightstand next to the candle. “I never thanked you for what you did for me. You didn’t have to do any of that.” She began. If the two of them were to return to the Fire Nation together it would be best to get the uncomfortable confrontation out of the way. It wouldn’t be pleasant. This conversation was bound to happen anyways, it was best to get it out of the way and discuss, well, define, just what the hell the two of them were. That is- if they were anything at all to begin with. For all that she knew maybe the two were rekindling old emotions, burning off some frustrated pent up steam. His eyes lingered on her expression. Yet he said nothing remaining silent. His warm body still pressing against hers. There was an intense look in his eyes, a raw emotion she was unfamiliar with burning in them. The look made her feel vulnerable as he studied her. Not removing himself or his prying eyes from her he waved a hand over the candles and the two were consumed by a sudden darkness.

Guess there wouldn’t be much talking tonight. Blindless lingered in her eyes for a moment before they adjusted to the absence of light. The hand on her neck lowered and splayed over her chest, his digits tracing the flesh over her clavicles. His other reached for her side, fingers almost like snakes slipping underneath her shirt with such ease and tenderness that goosebumps became erect on her arm. He leaned in with a calculated manner, stopping only a torturous distance before her mouth. His nose tracing her features, bumping into hers. She could feel his breath warming her face. Slowly, torturously his mouth barely grazed hers. “I miss you,” she admitted breathlessly and in return he kissed her hard. He kissed intensely with longing, teeth clicking together as their lips moved against each other. “I miss you more,” he spoke gruffly against her mouth. A rough groan dripping with wanting escaped his lips. It was the involuntary king that made his chest rumble. He pressed his groin against hers grinding into her. His other hand slid further up her body. Fingers mapping out her skin. His other hand rounded around her head tangling in her locks of hair. She held her longing breath, the girl practically dripping with anticipation. A familiar itch between her legs begging to be scratched. She reached for the other buttons of her night shirt and began undoing them. Again, his hand snaked back down to the exposed skin above her clavicles. The warm hand sliding lower and lower until it reached her breast. It lingered there for a long moment, his fingers pressing down on her skin, yet remained stiff. He remained frozen for a long moment. Long enough for her to consider voicing out a concern but didn’t. Instead, she felt the unwelcome absence of his warmth as he removed himself from her. The cold aid greeting her harshly.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized scratching his nose nervously. She saw him retreat and sit on the edge of the bed both of his feet planted on the floor as he lightly slouched completely turning away from her.

She lay still. Cheeks puffed. She wanted to be angry, she wanted to pull at her hair due to all the pent-up frustration and storm out of the room- but she wouldn’t. She had to be patient. She had to be understanding. She had to be respectful.

Just like he had been when he made his own demands to her the last time, they were together… Her pride was wounded. She knew, deep in her heart that he didn’t mean to hurt her, that he didn’t mean it like this, that he had his own reasons for being so reserved. That he wasn’t being a tease. Knowing that she had also hurt him all the same if not worse the last time they had been together in the Fire Nation made everything impossibly worse. But the ugly feeling of being undesired by the person you desire the most… It hurt. Once again… he had neglected her. She silently let out a breath she had been holding and pushed her pride and sexual frustrations to the side.

“I’m under a lot of stress,” he confessed. “I can’t sleep, I can’t think, I can’t-“ He sighed in distress, his voice trailing off and buried his head in his hands in frustration. Her eyes had adjusted to the darkness. She saw his back muscles moving slightly as he hunched over. She looked at him with sadness, with guilty from wanting more of him. Her body still hot. However, those were demands she could not make of him. After all love was patient, love was kind… Zuko’s body stiffened when he felt a touch on his back, it took him a moment to relax when a pair of arms wrapped around his torso holding him in a close embrace. She pressed her cheek against his back and closed her eyes listening to his drumming heart beating. “It’s okay,” she whispered reassuringly planting a gentle kiss in between his shoulder blades and then another one on his shoulder. “Let’s try and get some sleep,” she comforted him and pulled his torso to lay back on the bed. “Come on.” She insisted when he remained still. However, after a moment he caved. He lay on his side turning away from her. He seemed distant and cold. She said nothing, swallowing her pride and respecting his space. Maybe it was best if she left. Maybe it was too painful, too confusing, not only for him, but for her too. Too many emotions for one day. She tossed the covers off her body getting ready to return to her chambers. “Stay,” he demanded. His voice soft.

She wasn’t expecting him to say anything. She froze, her eyes looking back at the Lord that had now turned to face her, slightly sitting up.

Coming here tonight had been a bad idea. Scratch that. Coming to the ceremony, specifically to seek him out had been a terrible idea. What was she hoping to accomplish? The two of them getting back together... Their relationship returning back to normal only for the two to again split when push came to shove? He looked at her with pleading eyes. He reached for her arm and despite never having felt the sensation of skin burning in her life she guessed this was probably what it felt like. Anguish knotting in her throat rendering her silent. She gradually turned and caved to his touch. Slipping underneath the bed covers and facing him. Her hand touching his face, she caressed the scar that marked him, tracing it with the back of her hand. She looked at him with an endearing expression in her eyes and a heavy heart before lightly pressing her lips against his scarred skin.

After all this time she still loved him…

He said nothing in return and leaned forward burying his face on her chest. He took in a deep breath inhaling the scent he had missed so much, welcoming the familiar touch he starved for, lightly kissing the flesh he longed for. And he still loved her… He knew they would be having the unpleasant conversation that would define their relationship soon. Their emotions, their future, their intimacy, their fall… It would all have to be painfully dissected. But for now, this would do. This unspoken sad language the two of them seemed to share. He placed a hand on her side, his fingers lightly tracing circles on the skin underneath her shirt.

She held him close in a bittersweet embrace. Love, sadness, much regret, wanting and disappointment were all in the bed with them. Not another word was exchanged between the two. It wasn’t necessary. She rested her head on top of his and she ran her fingers through his hair soothingly.

Some moments later she could feel his rhythmic breathing warming her skin, his hand still draped on her side. He had fallen asleep. She couldn’t see his expression yet felt a little relieved knowing he was actually resting. One of her legs possessively tangled in between his.

Tsai was left alone with her distressing thoughts; painful tears prickled the edges of her eyes threatening to spill. She missed him so much. She still loved him so much. How could they have allowed themselves to do this to each other? A single tear slid down her face and she pressed her lips kissing the top of his head.

Her mind drifting to an unpleasant memory. She could still vividly remember their downfall. It had been that horrible day... She could still remember the smell of moisture and myrrh incense in the Dragon Catacombs…

She squeezed her eyes shut tight and prayed for the dark memory to go away, but it didn’t…

xxx

AN: Sorry this took me so long, I wasn't sure in what direction to go in this chapter, but overall I'm happy with it! (of course angst because I can't just let these 2 be happy) Alright, next chapter is going to be a flashback chapter and we're about to find out what happened in the Dragon Catacombs... prev: https://gloves94.tumblr.com/post/624849870080131072/kingdom-of-the-sun-firelord-zuko-2 next: https://gloves94.tumblr.com/post/625513136018112512/kingdom-of-the-sun-fire-lord-zuko-4

Kingdom of the Sun MASTERLIST Last Airbender MASTERLIST My MASTERLIST

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sleepysera · 3 years

Note

4, 5, 6, and 8 if you don’t mind! also, i see you talk a lot about OCs but i only follow your poetry blog so is there a WIP that’s not a poem?

hi friend of course I don't mind thank you for the questions :D (Ask the Writer Game)

I have a lot of WIPs actually lol, I just don't work on them very much because life is a lot and I found that writing a steady stream of lil bits for @tinyblips helps to at least keep me sane by letting me throw out at least some creativity from my ever-flowing heart. ♡

I went hard with the answers (as always) so they're below lol

4. Where did you get your inspiration from?

I get my inspiration from a lot of places. I read a lot, and I spend a lot of time out in nature. I go out on the trails and walk on the beach, catching sunsets and sunrises as they come and go. A lot of my blips revolve around nature and fierce emotions, and that's just me processing a lot of life in general through metaphor.

My WIPs overall tend to be love stories lol, inspired by (oh here we go) a certain somebody who matters a lot to me. But they all share that common thread of simply me, trying to find the words to describe the indescribable: love and life, and what it means to be caught up in the webs of it all.

5. Where do you find your motivation?

I really do get a lot of motivation from being out in nature and/or exercising. My mind begins to wander and when I'm out at the tidal pools in the pale colors of dawn, it's hard not to become poetic about it. I'm usually pausing my walks and runs to type out lil thoughts or lines that pass through my mind into my phone. I have quite a lot of drafts because of this lol.

When my heart wants to speak, who am I to tell it to wait? When it wants to yell and shout in fury at the gentle waves of the ocean, who am I to try to dispel it? Daydream. Daydream relentlessly. But write it all down, furiously, tirelessly, relentlessly. The words your heart bleeds might help another, but most of all they might help you if you would only listen.

6. What would you say your strongest genre to write for is?

At this point, probably poetic romance haha. I've written lots of fantasy and sci-fi, yeah, but nothing compares to just letting my mind get lost in the turbulent waters of my heart. Even when I do write seriously, like fantasy, it all gets caught up again back into the romance. I'm obviously processing feelings regarding this theme continuously, and I've learned to just flow with it. There's power there when you can unleash your heart's full ferocity.

8. How many WIP do you currently have?

I think there are about 4.5 lol. I rarely talk about them on here (or ever really), but I guess I should maybe start, bc I love the writeblr community a lot actually.

There's one contemporary fiction type called Street Sketches. It follows different people on this street, starting off with a homeless man, and we go into his life and how he got there, and maybe it's true and maybe it isn't, but that's not entirely the point. In the cafe next to him there's a woman writing a news article, and we ponder her life, wondering what she's up to and how she finally made it as a reporter. She gets a call for a news alert and leaves, passing by a guy who... and so on. This one I know what it's all about/its structure etc, but it's also at that (seemingly eternal) stage of filling in the details.

There's another one that's full fantasy called The Phoenix Queen. The original tale is about a girl who climbs the mountain to confront the dragon that's terrorizing her village. She dies in the fight, but comes back a phoenix, and with her flimsy dagger and fierce will to live, rips out the dragon's heart and takes over the castle as the new queen over the land. This is basically just the preface lol. I have this story all mapped out to the end, but it's like Street Sketches, where I need to fill out all the details. The sequel to this has already started in my restless mind, and it follows her love, The Traveling King.

The third most developed is probably the one about my FBI agent lol. It started off as a dream, then it was a joke, until it finally ended up being an entire story. This one has an entire plot complete with spy double/triple crossings, full of all that drama and betrayal and redemption. This one is a little bit sci-fi, because the main protagonist is a bit of a cybernetic girl with modifications, but also both her and the FBI agent have lots of cool gadgets like shield bracelets and laser rings etc (the usual spy genre stuff haha).

The last one that I add to every so often more as an ongoing sci-fi romance series is The Time Traveler and The Immortal. It started as this prompt I saw on Tumblr a long time ago, and it morphed into this ever changing (and convenient) way to express an eternal love that can change in the way it looks, but never in the way that it feels. This is the one that shares the energy of my "A Love Letter Found Floating Through Space" series on TinyBlips. Lots of finding each other through different timelines and lifetimes and the quiet trust that is inherent in a timeless inexplicable kind of love like that. The only thing I know for sure is the ending, and that's kind of the point because, "Time isn't linear, my dear."

#postmoderncaricatures #thank u for giving me a chance to talk about my wips lol #i need to get my butt in gear and finally spend the time writing and developing these

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shewritestheblues · 4 years

Text

The Elevator Bae x Chapter 2

Chapter TWO

Erik x Black OC (Phoenix)

It’s been a little over a week since the last time Phoenix saw Erik on the elevator. Everyday since she found out his name, she would wait at the elevator, hoping that when those big doors slid open, Erik would be waiting on the other side. But for 9 days, nothing. She found herself disappointed every time. She would beat herself up about being disappointed. This man didn’t know her and was probably not thinking about her at all. But, each time, without fail, she still would think about him. Where he was and when she’ll see him again. Regardless if she never saw him again, he definitely inspired some good music.

Phoenix was getting ready for a studio session. Studio sessions were usually a chill environment for Phoenix. She never allowed too many people to be around. To work with her, there was no rowdiness allowed in her sessions. Most people respected that. She was a vibe and her space always reflected that. She had a routine to prepare herself for her sessions. She placed her signature royal blue BEATS headphones on and played her ‘Blue’s Magic’ playlist. As she’s bobbing her head to the beat, eyes closed, her phone buzzes with a text. Her engineering friend, Coby, texted her.

DJ Coby: Hey, what time will be pulling up? Someone’s here to see you.

Phoenix was confused. Who in the hell would be at the studio to see her.

Phoenix: Hey. I’m getting ready now. I should be there around 9. Who there?

Coby responded quickly.

DJ Coby: Sza

Phoenix: Nigga! You lying to me!

DJ Coby: lol dead ass. Hurry up. She said she needs to work with you.

Phoenix: I'm coming!!!

Sza was one of her favorite artists. CTRL was probably the album of her life. She practically ran to her room to get dressed. She changed into a heather grey biker short and T-Shirt set. Those were her favorite fits to wear. Cute but comfortable. Phoenix was all about comfort. Sliding her feet into some rainbow Nike Vapormax. She opted to let her curls just be. She didn’t have time to figure that out. Sza was waiting for her. She couldn’t keep her waiting too long. Placing her BEATS around her neck and grabbing her keys, she books it out the door.

Of course! The elevator is taking forever and a day. Phoenix is tapping her foot, anxious to get to the studio.

DING.

When the doors open, she rushes in. Going to push Ground Level, but it’s already glowing green. She releases a breath that she didn’t even realize she was holding. A weight lifted from her.

“Hey, Phoenix.”

She didn’t even notice that someone else was already in the cabin with her. Turning to see who it is, her heart damn near stopped.

“Hey...Erik.”

His smile made those infamous butterflies find their long lost home in her again. She had been preparing to see him. But, when she’s not even thinking about him, he shows up. Looking damn good at that. Black jeans with rips at the knees, a plain white V neck tee and black and red Jordan 1’s. He flashes that God forsaken smile at her.

“I haven’t seen you in awhile.” he says.

“Yeah. You’ve been missing.”

“You were looking for me?”

Yes, she was. “I didn’t say that.”

“I was looking for you though.”

Her face goes completely red and she couldn’t hide the dorky smile she had if she wanted to. But she didn’t want to.

“Here I am.”

The elevator stops and the doors begin to open. Erik steps forward, standing between the now fully open doors. His body blocks half of the exit out. He holds his hand into the parking garage.

“Ladies first.”

Phoenix starts to walk out when her shoulder brushed against his chest. This man was SOLID! She stops and looks up at him and of course he’s already smiling at her. She playfully shakes her head at him and continues her way out.

“Have a good night, Phoenix.” He dragged her name. Was he doing this on purpose? She stops and turns to him, flashing her own smile.

“You too, Erik.”

Dragging his name they way he did hers. This time, she stood there to see how he would react. He licks his lips slowly like he knew what it would do to her. She watched him closely and her face went blank as she stared at his mouth.

“Don’t make me look for you again.”

“You don’t go missing again.”

They share another smile. Phoenix had reached her limit with him. There was no way that she could let him say anything else to her without jellylegs happening so she turned on her heels and headed to her car. Eriks stood firm in his place, watching her. She started her car and pulled out from her park and as she did, he waved at her. She watched him in her rear view mirror. He waited there until she turned out onto the road.

-------

Sza was everything Phoenix imagined her to be, plus more. Their session was like two old friends catching up. They meshed well together with their personalities and with the music. Phoenix shared some hooks she wrote and they made nothing short of magic. They both danced around the studio as the two songs they made, played on repeat. Coby recorded them on his Instagram.

“All we make is hits!” he said into the camera.

“We need a pic for the gram.” Sza says to Phoenix.

They pose up and Coby doesn’t fail to make sure they got the right shot.

“Ohhh, we cute.” Phoenix says. “Send that to me now.”

They all chill back onto the large couch in the studio.

“So, girl… who are these hooks about?” Sza ask.

Phoenix looks like a deer caught in the headlights. “Nobody.”

“You giving me this feeling…” Sza sings a line from the hook Phoenix wrote. “Somebody is giving you a feeling, sis.”

“No, no. It’s not like that.”

“Then what is it like?” Coby asks.

“It’s just like a crush. Nothing serious at all.”

“Ohhh you got a crush. Who is it?” Sza says pinching at Phoenix’s arm.

“Oh my goodness.” Phoenix covers her blushing face.

“She’s blushing! Who is it?”

“He’s nobody.”

“I have never heard of a nobody making a nigga blush as hard as you blushing right now. Your face looking like a grape tomato.” Coby laughs.

Phoenix cuts her eyes at him, trying so hard to look serious but he’s right. She can’t stop herself from smiling, thinking about her ‘crush’.

“He’s just a guy that lives in my building. We met on the elevator.”

“You got me singing about your elevator bae?”

Phoenix lets out a huge sigh. “I’m not telling y’all nothing else.”

Sza and Coby laugh her off. Coby looks at his phone. “Yo, it’s almost 6am.”

“Damn!”

They wrap up their session. Sza and Phoenix hug and say their goodbyes. Sza gives Phoenix her personal number so they could link again.

----

It’s a little after 6am when Phoenix finally gets back home. Parking her car, she drags her body to the elevator, waiting for it to come. When it reaches the parking garage and the doors open, Phoenix comes face to face with her neighbor from a few floors up, Sydney. She’s a beautiful woman that one could consider an ‘Instagirl’. Her body was amazing and she always had a slayed wig. Sydney was never caught without a designer bag. Even this early in the morning, she was sporting a 28in black wig, a PINK tracksuit and chanel bag.

“Good Morning, Philly.”

Ava was usually the only person to call Phoenix the nickname but Phoenix never protested when other called her that. Plus, it was too damn late/early for all of that.

“Morning, Syd.”

Sydney steps out of the elevator. “You had a long night?”

“Yeah. I was in the studio.”

“Damn girl and you’re just getting home?”

Phoenix nods her head. She wasn’t really in the mood to be talking to her. Sydney just kept talking and Phoenix was so caught up in pretending to be listening that the elevator doors closed.

“Shit.” She hits the button hoping the doors would just open but now it was that the cabin is already going up.

“Damn girl, I’m sorry. I’ll wait with you.”

Phoenix rolls her eyes. Her sleepy is now hitting her hard and the last thing she wants to do is listen to Sydney talk.

The elevator took forever coming back down. Phoenix had ran out of patience.

DING.

When the doors open, Erik is standing there with full workout gear on. Seeing him, made Phoenix perk up.

“Morning ladies.”

“Morn--”

“Good Morning, Erik!” Sydney says with enthusiasm, voice powering over Phoenix’s. “You’re about to work out?”

“Yeah.”

“How long are you about to be doing that?”

He shrugs. “Couple hours. Why?”

“You should come through when you’re done?”

That’s it. Phoenix had heard enough. She steps around them and get into the elevator. Hitting her floor number, the doors start to close but not before hearing Erik tell Sydney, “Alright. I’ll let you know.”

She would be lying if she said that didn’t crush her. Her hands instantly became hot and her chest was heavy. The thought of them ‘linking up’ made her pissed. She didn’t think she had a right to be pissed. He was just a crush, not her man. Hell, she didn’t even know the man’s last name.

Finally making it to her apartment, she closed all of the shades. Her apartment has floor to ceiling windows and she wanted all sunlight blocked. Her exhaustion seem to take over her body and she only made it out of her shoes before crashing on her bed and going deep into her sleep.

------

When she woke, it was well into the afternoon. A shower melted away all of her tension. Phoenix relaxed herself more with a well needed yoga session in her living room. She had plans to take a few days to herself but first she needed to do some grocery shopping to replace all of her snacks. Phoenix made her way to the store and to the farmers market. Stacking up on all of the food she needed to make her mini staycation at home, a good one.

Her day was going pretty smooth. She hadn’t even thought about the mornings situation with Erik and Sydney. She made her way through the parking garage and luckily she was able to get a spot close to the elevator. Phoenix stacked all of her grocery bags on one arm. She refused to take more than one trip. As she is closing her trunk, the elevator doors open. Looking up, she sees Sydney walking out, smiling and Erik right behind her. She stood back so they wouldn’t see her and she watched as they talked and laughed toward his car. She watched as he opened the passenger door for her and walked around and getting in, himself. She tried to hurry up and make to the elevators before he drove around. But the doors took a bit longer than she expected to open. Erik’s car drove passed her just as she was stepping into the cabin. He stopped by the doors and rolled his window down. Before he could say anything, the elevator doors closed and Phoenix’s stomach dropped to the floor with her bags.

She could feel her anxiety coming through her chest. The negative thoughts rushed her brain before she could even try to stop them. She felt stupid for crushing on a guy like Erik. Phoenix was a very chill, laid back kind of girl. Sydney was the definition of a ‘Girly girl’ and she wasn’t afraid to show off what she had. Phoenix’s brain went a million miles a minute. Of course, she’s his type, she thought.

As she reached her floor, she struggled to gather up the bags that fell to the floor. When the doors opened, her neighbor from across the hall, Mya was waiting.

“I got you, girl.” Mya says. She helped Phoenix with her bags without a second thought.

“Thank You so much.”

“You don’t have to thank me. You know I know the struggle.”

Mya follows Phoenix into her place, dropping the bags off in the kitchen. Phoenix goes through one of the bags, pulling out a Kombucha and giving it to Mya.

“Here. This is my thank you since you won’t let me say it.”

“Now this is something I’ll take. Thanks girl.” Mya smiles and leaves out.

Phoenix leaves her groceries on the counter and sits on her couch. She had to admit her feelings were hurt. She wasn’t fully sure as to why but they were. She sat there for a moment, letting herself process the bullshit as much as she could before turning on some music and putting away her groceries. Just when she thought her mind was free, Yuna x Crush started playing through her speakers.

“Damn God, can you chill? I don’t need this.” She goes to pick up her phone that she left on the couch to change the song and sees that she has a bunch of notifications from her Instagram. She clicks the app and she’s tagged in a pic by Sza. It was the pic they took at the studio with the caption:

So much love for my girl @DJPhoenixBlue. This album is about to be amazing.

HER ALBUM?! To be a producer on Sza’s album would be a huge step for Phoenix. That post made her page blow up. She had gained at least another 1,000 followers. People were showing her so much love on her pics and videos. She clicked back on the picture and commented:

Love you boo! More hits coming soon!

That made her feel so much better. Erik slipped from her mind in that moment. She let the music continue to play through her speaker and she danced around her living room until a phone call paused the music. It was her manager, Alyssa..

“Lyssaaaa, what’s up?”

“Hey, Phoenix. I have some good news.”

Phoenix patiently waits for Alyssa to continue.

“You’ve been requested to DJ at a party next week. The promoters are offering to pay you double your rates.”

“Double? Who is the party for?”

“It’s the grand opening of that new club, X down in Hollywood.”

“Hell yeah! I wanna do it.”

“Okay, great! I’ll let them know. Also, a few labels have been watching you. I’m setting up a meeting for this Friday for you to meet them. This is could be big for you.”

Phoenix is being hit with so much good news that she can’t even contain herself. She’s bouncing on her feet.

“Okay! Just let me know where and what time and I’m there.”

“Cool. I’ll keep you posted. Enjoy your days off.”

Phoenix hung up, squealing. All of her dreams are slowly but surely manifesting right before her eyes. The rest of her evening was spent eating a pizza that she ordered and finally catching up on all of her shows. She sat on her couch, wrapped like a burrito in her weighted blanket, struggling hard to keep her eyes open.

A hand snakes around Phoenix’s waist. She bit her lip at the warmth and released a small moan. She laid her head back onto the large chest behind her. He trailed wet kissed up her shoulder and neck until he reached her cheek. She turned her head to him and he smiled.

“Lay down.” He said.

She followed his orders. His shirtless body stood over her. He snatched her panties off quickly and his head disappeared between her thighs.

Closing her eyes, “Fuck Erik! That’s feels good.”

#erik x phoenix #the elevator bae #shewritestheblues

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colesterstrudel · 3 years

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So here are my endless thoughts on SVU & OC, all under the cut bc I get rambly and incoherent lmaooooo so here goes the format is shit bc I’m on mobile but are we surprised lmao

SVU

It is a crime that we never got to see the dress Liv was wearing to her ceremony A CRIME I know it was a lewk I KNOW IT WAS

The Liv/Elliot stare down dkdkdkkdkddk pls they’re just looking at each other like they’re trying to make sure they’re both really there

The flashback to the episode where pregnant Kathy is in a car accident with Liv was a crime against me, specifically, bc how dare you make me deal with those emotions while Liv is also dealing with them with that 100 yard stare WHY

Fin’s “you’re gonna have to ask him” to Liv in the hospital 🤝 his “you’ll have to ask her that” to Elliot in the bar or whatever

The whispered convo in the corner of Liv’s office hello intimacy lmao personal space whomst Liv and Elliot don’t know her and they never have AND THEN when Elliot says “let’s work it” like they’re still partners, LIKE THEY’RE PARTNERS FOR LIFE, IF YOU WILL

Liv spent so much of their partnership pushing him to be with his family and she STILL has to do it even ten years later after he’s broken her heart she loves him so much she loves his kids she wants nothing but the best for him so she keeps pushing him to go back to his family, to visit Kathy in the hospital, but noooooooooooo hardheaded Elliot Stabler just can’t do it

“I give you my word I’ll behave” so u just gon lie like that to her FACE when you haven’t seen her IN TEN YEARS DKSKDKSKSKSKSK LYING IS GONNA BE ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS YOU DO and also when he started rolling up his sleeves??? BRAIN ROT IMMEDIATELY BRAIN EMPTY

LIV HOLDING ELLIOT BACK, HIM ALL IN HER PERSONAL SPACE, THE RAISED VOICE FOLLOWED BY THE WHISPER, THE LINGERING EYE CONTACT DKDKDKDKDKDK IF Y’ALL DON’T FUCKIN SMOOCH IN THIS BITCH

Actually okay the whole interrogation room scene bc seeing them in interrogation with each other is painful enough, but the looks Liv keeps giving him while he’s talking to the suspect dkdkkddkdkdk the last time she was in an interrogation room when she could still feel Elliot’s presence around her was when she was crying after he put in his papers YES I AM CRYING THANK U and then the suspect says “why aren’t you in the hospital with your wife” and it’s practically the same thing Liv told him but he can hear that kind of stuff from her and be okay but when anyone else is questioning his loyalty to his family it sets him off (not that she was questioning his loyalty but you get what I’m saying) and UGH the way Liv keeps an eye on him as he moves around the room to make sure he doesn’t fuckin lose it

She bumped into him on the roof ON PURPOSE she didn’t have to be that close to him there’s plenty of room on the roof for the two of them but it’s like she’s questioning if he’s really there and then you have to wonder how many conversations has she had with him mentally or in her dreams that she has to fuckin shoulder check him on the roof to ensure he’s really there, that she’s really talking to HIM

Elliot’s Catholic guilt rearing its ugly head as he caresses the head of his dying wife while he has so much he wants and needs to say to Liv.......am I overthinking this I thinketh not

KATHY NOT BELIEVING ELLIOT TELLING HER HE HASN’T SPOKEN TO LIV IN TEN YEARS AND LIV HAVING TO CONFIRM THAT IT’S TRUE I’M DKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKDKS LIV WAS THE GLUE HOLDING THAT GODDAMN FAMILY TOGETHER AND SHE COULDN’T EVEN RECEIVE THE LOVE SHE SO DESPERATELY WANTED???? NEEDED??????? FROM ELLIOT BC OF IT I’M DJDJDJSSKSKSKSK

Liv watching Elliot kiss Kathy’s forehead through the glass door of that hospital room, like she’s been forced to look in on that marriage from the outside for YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The symbolism!!!!!!!!!!!

The waiting room hospital scene yes this will be burned into my brain forever thank u. Neither of them can sit still when they’re around each other now it’s like it’s too much all at once especially Liv she keeps moving and fidgeting and when they ARE still they’re so CLOSE to each other like they can’t bear for there to be any distance, not anymore, not now

They tell each other they love each other without saying the words and it kills me every single time I can’t live like this I wish they were better at talking about their feelings

ANOTHER WHISPERED/BREATHY “ELLIOT” with that side eye YES LIV LET HIM KNOW HE FUCKED UP dkskdkdkdkdk and then she told him she LOVED HIM “you were the single most important person in my life and you just.....disappeared” god this really tears my heart out every time I think about it bc the look in her eyes just 😭😭😭

“I was afraid if I heard your voice I wouldn’t have been able to leave” GOD DID Y’ALL KNOW IT ONLY TAKES THREE WORDS EACH TO SAY I LOVE YOU DID YOU KNOW THAT DID YOU KNOW YOU COULD CONSERVE OXYGEN AND SAY ONLY THREE WORDS OBVIOUSLY NOT

Liv having to stand up for Elliot once again and defend him to people who don’t see him the way she does, the way he deserves to be seen, she’s had to do it for years when they were partners and now she’s doing it again when he’s only been back like a day and a half

I’ve already talked about the bar scene with Elliot and Fin a bajillion times but!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s just such a good fuckin scene and the emotions and the mannerisms from Elliot are just *chef’s kiss* that man loves Liv so much and he’s so upset he’s missed so much of Liv’s life ugh just thinking about his “who’s the guy?” and how he must be thinking back to “you’re the longest relationship I’ve ever had with a man” and how that may still be true but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t moved on and found someone else to take his place in her heart, in her life, to give her the child she always wanted WHEW

LIV DKDKDKDKDK “Phoebe just said I love you and you couldn’t say it back?” MA’AM YOU CAN’T EVEN TELL THE MAN YOU LOVE THAT YOU LOVE HIM PLS STOP JUDGING FIN DKDKDKDKDDKDK

Liv calling Elliot “Stabler” why does that shit hurt my heart so bad dkdkdkdkdkdks CALL HIM EL AGAIN PLS

Amanda likening her relationship with Liv to Liv’s relationship with Kathy? No ma’am. No. Somebody get the spray bottle tell her to shut the fuck up

Elliot called Liv before he called any of his kids about Kathy HE CALLED HER FIRST no I’m fine this is fine that’s just something you’d do like if you loved someone or something lmao def nothing suspicious here

I will never stop talking about that hug okay bc Elliot IS SOBBING and he nuzzles into Liv’s shoulder and she wants to keep her walls up and remain distant but her eyes close and she settles into it too god it’s such a GOOD hug you can FEEL the emotions

“I didn’t get to say goodbye” hello parallels between Elliot and his wife and Liv, the love of his life again this is fine I’m fine

Liv putting his family first and offering to call his kids for him fkdkdkdkdkks god will she ever put herself first with ANYONE or will she always put herself on the back burner can we PLEASE GET LIV SOME LASTING HAPPINESS IN THIS BITCH

Even tho Elliot said he didn’t need her to call his kids it absolutely looks like she DID get his kids and take them to him in the chapel like that’s how it comes across and idk if they did that on purpose or what but that’s what it looks like idk man it just really kills me bc she just keeps putting his family first and keep them together SHE IS THE GLUEEEEEEEEEE IN THAT FAMILY

“I can be objective” not with Elliot miss ma’am and you know that like it’s cute that you think that but 👀👀👀 we all know JUST LIKE WE ALL KNOW that technically you’re off the case but you won’t be off the case you’ll keep looking into things when you can bc that’s your partner, your Elliot, and you can’t not keep looking into it

When Elliot goes downstairs at the courthouse and he starts speaking Italian to those dudes he arrested or whatever and then he starts threatening them and he does the throat slash motion as he gets taken away dkskskskskks BRAIN WORMS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why is that so HOT!!!!!!! @ myself get it together

I’ve already talked about the snow scene in the park but I am not done I will never be done bc the tension!!!!!!!!!!!! Liv won’t hold eye contact for too long and neither will he and I am DYING the small talk is so awkward and then he says “you woulda loved it” about his place in Rome meaning he was THINKING ABOUT HER WHILE HE WAS AWAY

“Elliot, I can’t” OH MY GOD DKDKDKDK and the way she looks at the letter in his hands dkdkdksksks awh hell

Liv was wearing gloves and Elliot was bare handed as they walked around the city in SVU, when she was showing him the pic of the suspect on her phone and here she is again, wearing gloves while Elliot’s hands are bare but this time she brushes her fingers over his ever so slightly while taking the letter from him. The touch is on purpose, has to be, but it’s like the rooftop scene where she bumps into him to make sure it’s really him. Not to mention the gloves vs bare hands thing - she’s erected walls up around her heart and her life and she has all these boundaries she won’t let Elliot cross, not now, maybe not ever she tells herself, and as long as she can separate even the smallest amount of her bare flesh from his she just might be able to make it through him being back in town

ELLIOT WANTED HER TO INTRODUCE HIM TO NOAH YOU CAN SEE IT god he must’ve been so torn up about it bc that’s her kid!!!!!! He’s a part of her!!!!!!!!! He wants to know everything he missed and she won’t even introduce him to her child!!!!!!!!

Angela Wheatley I’m free on Thursday if you’d like to hang out on Thursday when I am free

Liv doesn’t take her eyes off Elliot at the funeral not once NOT ONCE I know I’ve said this before but she’s really the glue that holds that goddamn family together and I am DYING

She holds it together for all the kids and Elliot but the second she walks away her face just fuckin CRUMPLES she can’t hold it together anymore especially after the way Elliot grabbed her whole ass arm to thank her for going I’m dkdkskdkdkdkd this is too much this is too much

THEY DELETED THE FUCKIN SCENE WITH THE WHOLE FAMILY IN ELLIOT’S APARTMENT??????? WHY???????? I WANTED TO OVERANALYZE IT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay so I know Richard Wheatley is the bad guy but I luv him what a MAN. He really said “fuck you you racist piece of shit” and killed his own dad fkdkdkdkdkdksk okay WORK RICHARD

SERGEANT BELL I AM AVAILABLE ON THURSDAY LEMME KNOW IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO HANG OUT ON THURSDAY WHEN YOU ARE FREE

Bell not taking any sorta shit from Elliot I LUV IT I LUV HER GET HIS ASS DKDKDKDKSKSKS he NEEDS people to keep his ass in line bc he doesn’t know how to act not even a lil bit

LIV READ THE LETTER!!!!!! She’s the least stand-offish she’s been to him this whole time WHAT WAS IN THAT LETTER I HAVE TO KNOW

* She knows him too well she knows he’s hiding something from her she knows he’s got something going on but he’s never been good at separating his work from his real life and that hasn’t changed, not now, not even with her and she KNOWS something’s off the way she looks at him while he’s waiting for the elevator is unreal and the lil half nod he gives her bc he KNOWS he needs to talk to her about that letter, especially when she’s WILLING TO TALK NOW but the job!!!!!! “You and the job are about the only thing I’ve got anymore” and he doesn’t even have her, not like he used to, not like he wants to, so he defaults to the job and trying to figure out who killed Kathy and who has it out for him

Okay I obvs didn’t have as much to yell about in OC as I did SVU but I’m so excited to see how OC goes bc it’s got me intrigued already like I need to know. Everything. About the Wheatleys!!!! EVERYTHING!!!!!!! And I need to see Liv and Elliot interact again pls pls I need it 😭😭😭😭😭 ANYWAYS THE END BYE

#this is really just a lot of me yelling #I luv liv and Elliot and I luv these fuckin SHOWS

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borathae · 3 years

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~Chapter 25~ Jesus Christ and i thought the last chapter was a rollercoasterride. When Jungkook said "you are the love of my life" now that...broke me. No joke I literally got chills when jungkook said that, like i am not joking. Also "No darling, i mean y/n" aaaah there it is again 👀 Also forehead kithes, yes.

🖤 Strangers - FLETCHER

When oc & kook started talking it just felt so real. Like how people that had such a special bond can become strangers again. Like when you were SO FUCKING close with someone you could talk about everything and now you don't even know how to start a conversation. "The way we ended it, you know it makes me sick how two people once could be so in love, now we never talk. [...] and I hate that I hurt you. What I know right now, I wish I knew then. [...] We started out as strangers, now we're strangers again."

🖤 No Right To Love You - Rhys Lewis

Jungkook knowing and acknowledging he fucked up, to the point where he feels like he doesn't even deserve ocs love anymore. "To jump was my decision, I've only got myself to blame. 'Cause I have no right to love you when I chose to walk away. I have no right to miss you when I didn't wanna stay and I have no right to need you. And I knew what my heart was gonna lose. I have no right to love you but I do. I still do."

🖤 Mirrors - Justin Timberlake

This one is just so fitting. Especially with the part where jk was really opening up about what oc really means to him and that he lowkey only sees a future with her. Like she really showed him what love feels like. "I don't wanna lose you now, I'm lookin' right at the other half of me. The vacancy that sat in my heart is a space that now you hold." Alsoooo when he said that once he realised all that, he just had to come back, there was no other option. "Show me how to fight for now and I'll tell you, baby, it was easy comin' back here to you once I figured it out. You were right here all along." And then the part of the song where it literally goes "you are, you are the love of my life" over and over again 💔 Also this line: "So now I say goodbye to the old me, it's already gone." Jungkook is evolving.

🖤 What We Had - Sody

This would have fit the last chapter so much but I just discovered this song and I think this also kinda represents what Jungkook feels about the whole OC x Hobi situation. We see he's bettering himself in that he's trying to walk away from the situation and deal with his emotions alone instead of exploding in ocs face bc that is toxic. And he's very open about his feelings, communication is key in a healthy relationship. But still, he is jealous bc he loves oc and therefore obviously doesn't want to imagine her with another man. "I know I'm being selfish and I've got no right but I can't help thinking about you tonight. And I don't wanna say it 'cause I know it's bad but I don't want somebody having what we had. I know I'm being stupid but I just can't stop thinking that you're with somebody and I'm not." Also this part: "I've still got the pictures from the memories that we once made, can't seem to let them go, I thought that we'd grow old. Down to see you happy but I don't want to see you happy without me."

🖤 I Hate You, Don't Leave Me - Demi Lovato

I feel like this represents oc's feelings really well, like the way she's torn between wanting him back and struggling to forgive him. "I hate you, don't leave me. 'Cause I love when you kiss me. I'm in pieces, you complete me. But I can't back down, no, I can't deny that I'm staying now 'cause I can't decide, confused and scared." The song even talks about the physical touch part with which oc is struggling as well, wanting to be held by kook but at the same time being scared of what his touch ignites in her. "I hate you, don't leave me. I feel like I can't breathe. Just hold me, don't touch me." Also the ending of this chapter really felt like oc was trying to make sure that jk knows that she needs him and that it's definitely not fully over eventhough she's so torn. "I admit, I'm in and out of my head. [...] Just hear me out before you run away 'cause I can't take this pain, no. [...] Been abandoned, and I'm scared now. I can't handle another fall out, I'm fragile."

🖤 Side of My Heart - Katelyn Tarver

Same as with the song before. Oc struggling with her feelings. "Half of me wants to come over and spill every thought that's inside of my head. Half of me wants to unlearn every turn that would take to get into your bed. One foot on the gas, one foot on the brakes. One out the door and one trying to stay. [...] I can start telling myself once we get through the mess, we'll be stronger for it. But then I start thinking that if I was stronger, I wouldn't put up with your shit. One minute I'm sad, the next I feel crazy." And this "I need you all the way here or all the way gone", how oc got angry for a sec when jk told her he's leaving again.

Sorry these are getting longer everytime, I'm invested haha 😢✌

Okay first of all never apologize for your song recs getting long! Please I love them so much, you could sent in a whole novel and I would read every single letter of it 🥺💜

Strangers - FLETCHER

Okay first of all that song has such JKMusic vibes, which just adds a whole level of flavour to it omfg 🤧 Also no joke this is literally so them ommgmg. Like when the reader is all like “help why is it so weird talking to him? what happened?” that song could play in the background omfg 🤧😔 but also omfg this line “No time's the right time to reach out but here I go [...] all the things we said and couldn't take back, swear I never meant it, and I hate that I hurt you.” is so Jungkook and him struggling to reach out to here for months 😔

No Right To Love You - Rhys Lewis

I don’t even know what part to quote because the whole entire song is basically Jungkook in this chapter. Holy shit :( I am acHING HAHAHHAH you don’t even know how many times I listened to that song while I was writing this chapter. And then you go and rec it and I am just like 😩 we are sharing a braincell anonie 😔

Mirrors - Justin Timberlake

I don’t know what I should add here anonie. Your description and the lyrics you chose are literally perfect. There is nothing to add here other than :(( I am bIG SAD :((

What We Had - Sody

YES OMFG! First of all I 100% agree with you that this also fits perfectly with chapter 24 😔 also lisTEN HOW DO YOU FIND SONGS THAT JUST FIT SO

R I G H T???

Like I am literally blown away, it’s freaking amazing and I am :( Also omfg this part “I've still got the pictures from the memories that we once made, can't seem to let them go.” if that isn’t them both realising that they both carried a part of the other with them. OC with the half-finished tattoo and the polaroid and JK with the finished drawing :( I am soBBING

I Hate You, Don't Leave Me - Demi Lovato

😭😭😭 anonie lisTEN I AM GOING TO SMOOCH YOU hfhdshfh your description, the parts you quoted I am just wOw I couldn’t have said it better. Fuck you saying “ she wants to be held by kook but at the same time being scared of what his touch ignites in her.” I am ACHING 😭😭 aLSO THIS PART “Been abandoned, and I'm scared now. I can't handle another fall out.” if that isn’t her being all scared of giving in I am :(

Side of My Heart - Katelyn Tarver

This song is so beautiful omg, I teared up hahahah hELP lisTEN I am :( this shows her struggle so well, like especially that part “I need you all the way here or all the way gone [...] I want you to go and I want you to stay.” this made me think of when they were all like “guess that’s it then, the end of our relationship” and yet neither one of them stood up and left because deep down they both didn’t want their relationship to end. I am a broKEN WOMAN 😭

Thank you so much anonie, listening to those songs literally just made my day. I mean lol they did tug at my heartstrings, but it was a good kinda tug 🤧 seriously I appreciate you so much, I love you lots my lovely anonie 🥺💜💕

#asks: purple rain #ost: purple rain #anon #asks

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corvidry · 4 years

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All About RP Icons For Beginners by Birdy

Hi OP, I’m not sure how experienced you are with all the nonsense surrounding the making and using of RP icons, so I’m gonna come at it as though you don’t have any experience with it at all and I’m sorry if that’s too simplified for you, but also if I’m gonna write many paragraphs about one topic I may as well make it accessible for as many people as possible ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This post goes into what tools are out there for the popular methods of finding/making RP icons in the first half and my personal methodology for choosing and using them in my RP for the second half. This is a very surface level answer to the question and is not meant to be an in depth tutorial for the more labor intensive aspects of the process, but if you guys want more information and can’t find it elsewhere, please ask and I'll know what I should be talking about next.

Also I’m also contractually obligated to mention to the masses that I do take commissions both for the drawing of RP icons and the service of capping, cutting, recoloring, and framing canon icons. Sometimes I even post batches of canon character icons for free on this blog so like,,,,, hit me up if you want. But!! You don’t need me, you can absolutely do all of it yourself!! I go into the broad strokes below.

Question 1: “How do you get icons?”

This is kind of a broad question and the answer depends on what your needs are. The right answer for you is gonna live in one of two camps

Find some that already exist that are free to use

Make them yourself / commission somebody else to make them for you.

What you'll choose is gonna depend a lot on your character first and foremost. The big determining factor in most cases is whether or not the face you want has been in anything you can take pictures of.

If you have a canon character who exists in visible media--

--you're in luck! The chances of you finding some resources that exist already is higher when you have a canon character who is in at least a few pieces of media. OP asked about Pearl from Steven Universe, and she's a great example of a character with a lot of resources. Searching for rp icons of a popular character will often yield packs of icons on Tumblr, Dreamwidth, Livejournal, etc. Most of these will be completely free to use or have very reasonable conditions for use (like credit the person who made them for example.) It's often a good first step to see what preexisting resources are available to you even if you still plan on making your own icons.

If you have an OC or a character that's not all that popular--

--you're gonna fall into the second camp. If you want icons, you have to have them made. So what are your options?

Help! My character appears in no media! What are my options?

If your character appears in no media you're in a tough spot. Different people approach this problem in different ways.

Face Claims

One option you have is to choose a face claim to represent your character. In roleplay a face claim or ‘FC’ is a person or character whose appearance you use for the physical description of your character. I personally am not big on doing this, I prefer drawn icons and I tend to RP as animated characters, but some people really like using celebrities and stuff to represent their characters. When I was playing Angus McDonald he hadn't appeared in any visual media yet, so I sometimes used Bryce Clyde Jenkins as the face claim for certain types of threads.

If you're somebody who likes to use face claims there are loads of resources out there for finding the perfect one, including here on tumblr. Try searching up RP Faceclaim Directory and playing around with some of the ones that pop up.

DIY RP Icons

The other option you have is to create those icons from scratch. Draw them yourself based on icons you like or commission an artist to draw some for you. If you can't draw yourself, I've seen some people get really creative with this. Some people create their character in the sims, dollmakers, or their favorite RPG and then take screenshots of that to use for icons. There's also no law that says every icon you use has to be your character's face. When I was writing a trashy mermaid AU I got a lot of mileage out of icons that depicted harbor and oceanic scenes with no actual faces. Get creative, go nuts, have fun.

Icons Aren’t That Important

The other thing to remember that icons are not a must in many RP circles. It's perfectly possible to have a great time and write cool stuff without any pictures at all. Depending on your platform of choice there are probably also other interesting ways you can make your posts unique to you by formatting the text or using symbols or emojis or otherwise denoting your personal style in text.

Help! My character appears in lots of media! How do I make icons?

Again, there are a million and one answers to this question and it really depends on what tools are available to you and what your preferences are. This section is not a tutorial but it will outline some of the options you can look into.

The icon making process is typically in 2 stages-- stage 1: get all your images of your character, and stage 2: edit all of those images into icons.

If you have access to the source material, any version of Photoshop, and software that automates the collection screencaps from video (KM Player, VLC, etc) you're pretty much gucci. You're gonna have no problem getting loads of nice icons in a reasonably short amount of time and there are a million different tutorials on how to use those things whichever way you prefer.

If you don't have access to those things you still have options.

You can still screencap things manually, and you can screencap in batches by holding down the windows key and pressing PrtSc any time you want to save an image. They should be saving to >pictures>screenshots unless you’ve set things up differently. It’s a good way to take a lot of screenshots without stopping in between.

( EDIT / UPDATE: to say that if you use automation for taking screencaps remember to turn that shit off when you’re not using because it oh mylanta it WILL continue to take images without you realizing. Figured out where all my disk space has been going with this rookie mistake, thanks OP)

Additionally, PhotoScape X is a really great little tool for windows and mac that I've never seen anybody talk about, but I use it sometimes and it's totally free with the exception of a few paid features I’ve never once needed or wanted. This program is not as efficient as using Photoshop but it has presets for cropping images easily as well as batch editing options for some basic borders and color retouching. While it’s not as powerful as Photoshop, you can get a lot done with it reasonably quickly compared to other choices. You can also take and edit snips of anything on your screen with it, which is really really useful if you don’t have access to the video or image files you would need on your hard drive for other version of this process. The program looks like this:

Also, not to be like a minimalist about it, but you can also just fucken use Microsoft Paint or whatever you have. Like, whatever, there’s no law. You graphics dont have to be comlpex or deep fried. Half of my icons have been made or edited in paint at some point. It wont be as fast as some of these other methods but a lot of us aren't out here making icons in batches of 100 at a time.

Anything that you can use to make smallish images of your characters face will work to make icons.

If you want more information about any of these methods of icon creation let me know and I’ll talk about them.

Question 2: “How do you make your icons ‘work’ in posts?”

I'm a little confused on what you mean by "make them work" so I'm gonna cover my bases here. I'm assuming what you're getting at is a sort of sense of cohesion in the icons I use, or having the "right" expression for the scene I'm writing. Either that or them not stretching and looking weird thanks to tumblr. I’ll get to both of those.

And before I go into my own rationale for icon choices I feel I should point out that a lot of people who aren't me do successfully manufacture cohesion out of their images by doing fun stylistic things like recoloring their images all the same way or putting cute borders and stuff around them or making them fun shapes, and that's totally something you can learn how to do if it interests you. I do this for icons commissioned by other people and I’m not against talking about how to do those things, but I don’t really bother with them for my own icons all that much. That stuff is all fun and it’s a neat thing you could get into that can make your icons all look really nice together.

BUT ANYWAY --

Since the character you asked about is Pearl, I’m going to focus on her. Nearly all of my Pearl icons are completely unedited and a lot of the credit I would have to give regarding icon quality goes to Pearl herself and the consistently good lighting that the show uses. I don’t have a huge need for editing or color retouching beyond making memes or whatever other goofy things I might be getting up to. Pearl is extremely expressive compared to other characters I have written and since she's in nearly every episode, I've managed to collect…

...oh god, that’s too many icons.

Pearl is a main character and I've been RPing as her for over 6 years now so I have a fuckload of images to choose from and I'm not gonna pretend that doesn't help when I wanna “make things work”. She gives me a lot of options.

That said, you absolutely don't need 3000 images to make a good post. The way I've collected and organized these images may be of use to you even if you dont have as many icons. I've done a lot with my setup to make finding the right icon very easy.

For starters, a minor subset of my Pearl icons are grouped by a particular defining feature. I have one large Pearly folder full of icons and then a few smaller folders inside for icons I thought worth grouping separately. For example, all icons of SUF Pearl in her new jacket are in the same folder. All icons of Pearl in short term alternate outfits are in the same folder. Anything I sourced from Attack the Light is in its own folder. I do this with anything that has a very specific use, such as writing AU content or flashbacks to specific time periods. If I can picture an icon in my head, I usually know where in my ridiculous hell collection to go to find it.

This folder was originally just for her pre-canon outfit but now all of her outfits that only appeared temporarily are in there.

Perhaps more important for the sake of cohesion is that nearly all of my icons that aren’t squirreled away in some smaller folder are loosely arranged by episode. What that means is that most of the time I have icons from the same scene right next to one another. It makes it incredibly easy to make my RP replies appear as though it's all one cohesive scene even if I use more than one icon. When you do it this way it becomes very easy to choose icons that have the same lighting or that appear to lead from one expression seamlessly into another. Exhibit A:

While the vast majority of my icons are numbered, I do take the time to name ones I find myself using a lot or that have particularly unique expressions. Usually I'll choose names that I'll find descriptive or easy to remember based on the context of the icon. You can have a lot of fun with that and never lose your favorites.

Also don't be afraid to lean on icons you got from weird places if you like them. The icons of Pearl from the official comics run don’t look like most of what I have. I think them being different would turn a lot of RPers off, but I use them a lot because I like the style and I almost never see other Pearl RPers using them. It either makes me stand out or it makes me tacky, one of the two, haven’t figured out which, but also I’m not stopping.

And just to reiterate, you can use icons that aren’t your character if they’re thematically relevant or vague enough to look like them. When I’m capping I’ve started saving a folder of miscellaneous environments of interests, hands, and other everyday types of scenery that appear in the thing I’m taking screencaps of.

You can use any size you want for RP icons but the most common is 100x100 or 150x150 pixels. Any smaller than that and the image gets to be difficult to read and work with in my opinion. That doesn’t stop people, of course, but I’m elderly and need glasses now, so no tiny icons for me. On that note, I rarely see RP icons larger than 300x300. Any larger than that it tends to get bulky and be in the way of other people’s comfortable internet browsing experience, especially on mobile. Of course, these are just my suggestions. What you choose will ultimately be up to you, but somewhere in that 100 to 300 px range is pretty safe.

A very tumblr specific thing to know is that any image that is wider than 300 pixels will be stretched to hell, so you probably want to keep it smaller than that.

Thanks, Tumblr, I hate it!

Also, don’t be afraid to make trash images for fun if you’re so inclined. People love that, or at least I do. Not having the right icon can be fun and lead to a very silly solution. Lean into being a shitposter if that’s what you’re called to do.

So yeah, that’s basically what my suggestions are. Collect your images in a way that helps cohesion and ease of use. Keep them a good size. Don’t be afraid to get unconventional with your choices or make memes or whatever. It’s all for a fun time.

Anyway, that’s all I can think of right now, but more info on any of this can be obtained at the price of one ask, I know it was a lot of different moving parts.

#rp #rp icons #birdy answers #my graphics #my icons #long post

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cat-scarr · 4 years

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Omg! I just watched the B10:AF ep “Veeedle, Vreedle” and I now see what your talking about with Julie! I mean, I always believed you, but now I am seeing it with my own eyes! I haven’t watched Ben 10 in some, just recently started to rewatch it (found you blog and I love it!), and I always remembered feeling weird about their (Ben & Julie) relationship. I didn’t remember this ep I rewatched it and I notices something. (1) when the Vreedles come to repo, Ship is on the offensive & starts morphing

into weapons. Julie tells Ship “I don’t want them to see how valuable you are” and instead calls Ben(who comes with in seconds!!) (2) when with Gwen and Kevin, they find out the court order is legit, Ben says “somebody can use him [Ship] as a weapon” Gwen: “AND you DON’T want Julie to LOSE her pet EITHER, right BEN?” Ben passively says he agrees and Julie calls him out on it not being sincere

(3) Julie ask Gwen would Ben care if Ship was “just a dog, my [Julie] dog” (4) When Ben & Kevin comes back from court Julie is happy b/c Ben went “halfway across the galaxy” for her. But when Ben tells her that he feels, in light of all of this, that Julie is putting a lot of pressure on their relationship, Kevin tells him “it’s just a dog”. Like people Ship is not a dog! Ship is a sentient Mechamorph! You perceive it to act like a dog! Is there even dogs in space?!

Julie starts the episode saying that Ship is powerful, latter saying the same thing to Gwen, but once Ben says the exact same thing that she says, all of a sudden it’s wrong. I’m with Ben, that thing can kill you, your family, or anyone at any given time! Ship, though friendly, it’s not a toy or pet. Ship is like owning a gun; it’s cool and you can take it to the shooting range for “fun” BUT it doesn’t take away how deadly it is.

Gwen & Kevin might be so relaxed b/c they have seen and can handle things like this. But Julie hasn’t, she literally had to call Ben for help b/c she couldn’t protect herself! And what if he couldn’t answer his phone?! But lucky for Julie he comes on time to help, but after that Julie questions if Ben cares about ship. Girl, he cares about you and Ship on two different levels. Even if Ship was a dog, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t go out his way unless it was important.

Julie is important to Ben & Ship is important to Julie, therefore Ship is important to Ben. But again you can’t ignore how dangerous Ship is, or the potential to be. But the worst thing is Ben opened the conversation about what he feels in the relationship, but Julie looks offended and Kevin dismisses Ben. If anyone says they feel pressure in a relationship, THATS SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT! Your partner should feel safe & comfortable with you not pressure.

His grievances are dismissed but when Julie got a problem, she’ll raise hell for Ben. And note that this is in the beginning of their relationship and latter Ben doesn’t start these types of conversations anymore, he is mostly reacting or apologizing (to my memory, still rewatching). And I’m surprise that Gwen, of all people, doesn’t have Ben’s back more often. In OS when Kai was first introduced, I remember Gwen sticking up for Ben when he was treated unfairly. Seeing this, I personally think Ben stayed in the relationship b/c he’s lonely & wants intimacy with someone. It used to be Grandpa Max & Gwen, but they now have lives and responsibilities outside of Ben. Often times people who are lonely overindulge in intimacy, i.e always wanting to be around people no matter how long & if it’s good or bad . Some who are quick to romantic relations often do it b/c it’s a quick way to companionship.

I’m not saying Ben doesn’t love Julie, I’m saying is that he emotionally needs Julie more that what she knows and what she can give him. It’s funny how in OV when Rook and Ben become friends, girls start throwing themselves at Ben but he doesn’t care. Julie is traveling and he doesn’t freak out, instead believes the best and let her do her thing. Why? B/c he has Rook, he has a friend that will never leave his side. He finally gets that companion & intimacy he wanted.

Therefore, no longer NEEDING to hold onto or pursue romantic relations. Instead he’s free to get a gf when he wants one. It’s sad b/c Ben is a empathetic guy, he is so open hearted, kind, forgiving, lighthearted, & trustworthy but people see that as a flaw. Ben will fight for you however you need it, at any cost, but rarely is it returned. He can’t afford to feel bad, to be anything less than Ben 10/10.

I personally think, within story, Ben deserved better romantic partners or should just stay single. The girls say they given more than they get, but they should know who they’re dating. He couldn’t stop being a hero if he tried, b/c it’s who he is! He’s not dumb, he’ll make “gf time”, but he also needs “me time”. He’ll do what they want, but to do what he wants they’re reluctant or wants something out of it *cough* the D *cough*. It seems like they all are in love with

—————————————————————-

Yes!! I’m so glad people are noticing!

First, the “dog” situation…SHIP IS NOT A DOG. Just because he is seemingly programmed to mimic an earth dog, doesn’t make him any less a weapon. It’s the equivalent of having a machine gun painted pink. Cute, but still deadly.

Ben is right to see Ship for what he is, and in doing so, it proves that he cares about Julie because he cares that she’s in possession of what could be highly dangerous alien weaponry.

Why does he need to go half way across the universe for her to see that??

Is he supposed to just agree with her delusion? Okay, “delusion” might be a little harsh, but he’s had so much experience with dangerous alien technology, even being able to become a Galvanic Mechamorph himself because of the potentially dangerous alien technology literally on his wrist, that he would know what he’s talking about. She doesn’t even know the half of it at this point!

Why does she not care that he’s looking out for her?? How does that make him a bad boyfriend? Just because he disagrees with her?

Who wouldn't feel under pressure when this is a problem very early into your relationship?

Part of me just thinks that they’re reading him wrong. Maybe it should be obvious that Ben saying “I think Ship could be used as a weapon” would translate to “I care about Julie’s safety”, but to her it seems to not have been so clear, unfortunately.

Similarly, I hear a lot of people talk about how much of a problem Ben’s “attitude” is when debating things in relation to this pairing. Although this is probably more common when discussing Ultimate Alien.

But honestly? If you don’t like someone’s attitude, why would you stay in a relationship with them?

Are relationships for changing your partner to suit your own preferences? And if their own opinions and perspectives don’t line up with yours, even if they’re right, does that make them a bad partner?

Flaws are subjective. Clearly what these characters thought was ‘bad’ about Ben, we see the good in.

He is not fundamentally a terrible boyfriend.

It’s interesting that you say Ben chose to stay in the relationship due to feelings of loneliness and longing for intimacy that he was lacking. I have my own particular issues with Rook, but, for the most part, I’m willing to slightly overlook those flaws because I’m glad he was there for Ben when he needed someone during the beginning of Omniverse. But that really makes it clear why he stuck around.

I hate when people argue that he was neglectful and ignorant towards her, which is what made her leave. Or, more accurately, “ghost him.”

I don’t recall anyone in “Rules of Engagement” ever definitively saying that it had been months between the last time Ben and Julie spoke.

Ben is sixteen in both Ultimate Alien and Omniverse, apparently. If that is true, SO MUCH HAPPENS THAT YEAR! He gains fame, takes down his childhood hero (Captain Nemesis), deals with Ultimate Kevin and Aggregor, deals with the Forever Knights becoming increasingly more violent, defeats Vilgax and Dagon with Ascalon, loses his old team, becomes friends with Rook. deals with Khyber hunting him down, has old wounds ripped open and faces off Malware, gets kicked off the planet while the Incuseans enslave Earth before coming back to save everyone…and that’s not even the whole show!

They had a falling out between Ben defeating Vilgax and Dagon, and the frog war. Compared to how many events can fit into a year of his life. that couldn’t have been an extremely long time. Two months, maximum.

But more importantly, he must have been so overwhelmed. It’s so unfortunate that he feels like he can’t express that in fear of people not seeing him as the strong, unbreakable hero he is always expected to be.

Overall, I definitely agree that he deserved better than what he got. And I could be petty and plug my own self insert oc who I ship with him (and do it right lol) but I’ll save it. Thank you for letting me know my words make a difference!

#ask #long post #wow this turned into an essay #but I shouldn't be surprised lol #anyway if you do care about my oc...check my deviantart ;3 #link in bio #benlie #ben 10 #ben 10 alien force #ben 10 ultimate alien #ben 10 omniverse #ben tennyson #julie yamamoto #benxjulie #essay files

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queen-of-my-goofball-army · 4 years

Text

Halloween Kiddie Trick Or Treat Fic

So at my old high school we did this thing where every year children would come to our school and would parade around the hallways. It was one of the cutest things ever and one of the best parts about going to my high school. I have recently entered my first ever poly ship (Fraxus from Fairy Tail) and when I added my OC Idina into the mix I just knew that I had to write a fic with the three of them all dressed up and ready to give kids some candy. Most of the fic is preparation for the day but I’m still really happy with it and I wanted to share it with all of you!!

At my performing arts high school every year they do a special thing that they call kiddie trick or treat where they bring in children from local day cares or from the school and they dress up to trick or treat around our hallways. It was one of my favorite days of the entire year because the drama club got to decorate the hallways the week before and then the kids just looked so cute when they eventually got here. It was also the first year that my dad would be taking Romeo since mom ditched us last year. My brother at six was becoming ever the intelligent and adorable little boy that I was still trying to manage taking care of. Ever since I started dating Laxus and Freed it seemed that I had gotten more self confident in who I was and what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I had fallen in love with the world of theater, dancing and acting. I didn’t have to be myself I could transform into somebody else for a short amount of time. My partners were both equally encouraging of my passions and my dreams for what I wanted to do with my life. This was also the first year that I was doing themed costumes with both of my partners. I would usually do a theme with Natsu back in middle school if he wanted to do a duo. But since I had a boyfriend and a partner now well things got more complicated. We threw a lot of ideas around but eventually Freed settled on surprisingly Alice In Wonderland. At first Laxus and I were both more than a little bit concerned because of it’s relation to his dead name but they encouraged that it was fine.

“Hey sissy, are you okay? You’ve been standing there staring off into space for a long time.” My brother brought me out of my reserve from the couch where he had his stuffed dragon that of course Natsu had bought for him.

“Oh I’m fine bratishka just thinking about tomorrow. Are you excited?” My brother nodded his head excitedly snuggling his dragon.

“I really am sissy, I can’t wait to see you in your Alice costume. Freed is the one that made it right?” I nodded my head with a small smile sitting down next to my brother as he leaned against my side a little bit.

“I’m going over to Gramps’s place in a little bit to spend some time with them and Laxus.” My brother smiled softly at me settling against my side.

“You really love them don’t you?” I nodded my head with a small smile thinking about my partner and how much they meant to me.

“Of course I do otherwise I wouldn’t be dating them. A relationship without love isn’t really a relationship at all. It’s kind of like dad says sometimes when he thinks about mom. A relationship without love is like a bath in lukewarm water. You don’t want to stay in it for too long or you’ll get pruny.” I joked and my brother just rolled his eyes softly at me. I knew that wasn’t the answer that he was looking for.

“I know that our relationship isn’t exactly traditional or what most people would expect from a romantic relationship. The three of us can’t ever legally get married at least right now we can’t. I see it every time that people see us out in public that isn’t school with me holding hands in between the two of them. Mom thought that I was just experimenting until she realized just how serious I was with both of them. I realized pretty early on that it didn’t matter to me. I loved them both for who they are and isn’t that what matters in a romantic relationship?” I asked my baby brother who nodded his head against my shoulder.

“It does but sometimes I worry about you sissy. I see you crying at night for seemingly no reason. Is it because of what happened with mom? When she left?” I nodded my head. Losing mom the way that I did was one of the worst things that had ever happened to me. I never thought that she of all people would have been the one to judge me.

“Most times yes. I feel like it’s almost my fault in some deranged way. If I wasn’t like this, if I could just be normal and have a functioning relationship with just one person than everything would be okay. But that’s not the way that I fell in love. Dad always used to tell me that I had so much love to give that it would overwhelm one person. I know he was joking but at the same time he was probably right. It would suffocate anybody who wasn’t Laxus and Freed. I’ve always known on some baser level that they were the people meant for me. The way that our hands just sort of fit together like missing puzzle pieces…” My brother smiled softly at the way that I told my love story.

“I think that the way you love is beautiful sissy. It shouldn’t matter what anybody else thinks but what you think. You don’t need to ever get married, that’s not necessary for you. As long as you can go home to both of them at the end of the day and snuggle with them on the couch than you’ll be alright. They calm you down and are the only people that seem to be able to do it effectively enough. I’m glad that you’re so happy now sissy. You were so sad for a while when they first got together. I know how lonely you were then but now it’s like I get to see you smiling all the time. It’s a good look for you.” He explained the way that he thought about things and I was once again struck by the fact that my little brother was at times the wisest person that I knew.

“Gah you’re going to make me cry Romes why are you doing this to me…” My brother laughed at me drying my tears.

“It’s okay to cry, you don’t do it nearly enough around other people. You are so amazing and I know that dad and I are both so proud of you. You’ve become somebody so incredible and I know that you are going to be so happy as an adult.” I pulled my hair into a ponytail so that it was easier for my brother to snuggle against me.

“I still have a few years before that bratishka so I wouldn’t worry about it too much right now. I’m not even sixteen yet perks of having a later birthday than everybody else.” I joked and felt my phone buzz in my pocket that I lifted seeing the picture of me in my Belle dress that I knew Freed had worked so hard on with him kissing one cheek and Laxus the other one all three of us happy. Every time I saw it I couldn’t help this feeling of warmth wash over me. It was a text from dad letting me know that he would be home soon so that I could go to Gramps’s.

“Babysitting almost over?” I nodded my head against my brother’s shoulder slowing down my breathing.

“Sadly yes it is but I’ll watch you again the next time that dad goes out. We’ll make it into a movie night and I’ll invite Laxus and Freed if that’s what you would like.” My brother nodded his head excitedly smiling at me.

“I would love that sissy, I hope that it happens soon!! I love when you three get to babysit me even though it is like being on a date almost.” I stuck my tongue out at him and he just giggled at my ridiculous nature. I blamed it on being friends with Natsu for far too many years it made me a bit more than crazy. “I’m sure that it will since him and mom are still getting the divorce finalized and everything. I’ll definitely let Laxus and Freed know about the idea and see how they feel about it.” I promised my brother and he smiled softly at me.

“I’m just glad that you’re doing better sissy. Mom leaving wasn’t your fault and I just hope that you know that.” My heart warmed and I shook my head with a small smile grabbing the remote for the television.

“I can’t cry anymore right now I’m sorry bratishka you pick a show and we’ll watch it until dad comes back.” My brother laughed at me a little bit finding old episodes of Animaniacs that we were still binging through.

“Does this work sissy? I’m sorry that I brought her up again I know that you don’t like thinking about it.” I nodded my head but hugged my brother all the same hearing the front door open about fifteen minutes into the episode.

“I’m back!!” My dad called from the entryway and my brother leapt off the couch to go and give him a hug.

“How did the babysitting go?” He asked me kissing my forehead his goatee slightly scratchy but I was used to it by now.

“He was perfect as usual dad, how did things on your end go?” I asked him and he sighed running a hand through his hair.

“It went about as well as you could expect. We’re just trying to figure out custody right now. As much as I want to have permanent custody over Romeo I know that would be cruel. There is nothing wrong with her technically but she hurt you and I hate that she got to you in that way.” My dad told me and I looked at him a little bit hurt that she didn’t care if she got to see me. I knew that it shouldn’t really matter when she treated me the way that she did. But she had been the only mother that I had ever known who loved me for who I was or so I thought.

“If he still wants to see her than nothing should stop that from happening. I feel like this is all my fault and I’m sorry dad.” I apologized and he just put his arm around my shoulders pulling me into his side.

“Don’t you dare apologize to me, don’t you dare. This is not your fault okay? You can’t fault yourself because you fell in love. That is not something that we as a species of people can help. If you love somebody than that just means that you are able to be human. I know that you worry about this kind of thing and that you talk about it with your partners but it wan’t your fault. I have never seen you so happy as when you came home from rehearsal and told me about how I was right for all these years and that Freed and Laxus actually loved you back. It takes a lot to love a person. It above all else takes communication. You have to talk about what you want out of that relationship all the time and it requires true and genuine honesty. You three have always talked about everything under the sun. That’s what makes your relationship so special. You spent so long making that sure that a simple Halloween costume that contained Freed’s dead name was okay with them. That alone makes what you three have special.” My dad thumbed at my cheeks comforting me and I hugged him tightly.

“We’ll get through this. I promise. I know that things haven’t been easy for you and that you’re hurting really bad sweetheart. But you can talk to me about this kind of thing. She was my wife for twenty years but it’s not your fault that she left. That will never, ever be your fault. You’re my precious snow and I love you so much. You were the best thing to come out of that marriage and you’re not even my own flesh and blood. Now I want you to dry those crocodile tears of yours and get ready to go to your boyfriend’s house.” My dad encouraged handing me a tissue and I blew my nose gently.

“Okay, I’m okay, I’m going to just go and try to have fun today. I can do this.” I told myself and my dad gave me one last tightly wound hug.

“I love you Idina, I’m so proud of you for conquering that fear of yours. Of being rejected. I know hard that must have been for you but you do deserve to be happy.” He reminded me and I laughed a little bit at my dad grabbing my Ugg boots and putting them around my ankles.

“Tell Romeo that I love him and that I’ll be back for dinner.” I reminded my dad and he gave me a mock salute.

“Send me pics of your costume!!” He told me and I laughed a little bit at my dad’s antics as I entered the garage and took my bike to Gramps’s house where everyone in the drama club was always welcomed. I parked my bike on his driveway and used the spare key that he gave me once I started dating Laxus and Freed who also lived here most of the time. Their parents hadn’t been very accommodating of their relationship or their gender identity. Other times he spent with Gray and his family since they were still very close friends. I softly closed the door not wanting to disturb anything that was happening when I saw Laxus in the living room practicing.

“You’ve been dreaming just one dream nearly all your life. Hoping scheming just one theme will you be a wife…” I couldn’t help but chuckle at my boyfriend as he rehearsed the one number that we shared together. We were still nearly a month away from opening night but him performing that song with such a straight face never failed to have me laughing outside of the stage. Mostly because as much as Laxus was a big lug of a muscle man Gaston was the polar opposite of who he was. I saw Freed lounging on the couch watching our boyfriend with all the love that we both had for him.

“I’m not hearing this.” I joked and Laxus jumped a little bit whirling around and seeing me clutching his chest.

“God fuck, doorbell snowflake you ever heard of maybe using one?” He asked me and I laughed openly at my boyfriend.

“Gramps gave me a spare key and I used it sorry I startled you.” I waved my spare key and Freed saw the redness of my eyes.

“Did your dad have another meeting with Enno?” I nodded my head looking down at my socks and they patted the space next to them on the couch as they wrapped their arms around me.

“I just don’t get it, for years I’ve seen her flirt with other men and then as soon as I get the relationship that I’ve wanted for years suddenly it sickens her.” Laxus sat next to me and wrapped both of us up in his strong arms.

“She’s just a bitch snowflake and she doesn’t deserve your light or your love. I know that what she said hurt you but you were always a daddy’s girl anyways. Macao and Romeo both adore you and so do we so it shouldn’t matter what anybody else thinks about what we do in our spare time. I love you Idina.” He reminded me nuzzling my neck and laying a gentle kiss there as I smiled softly at him.

“I love you too molniya so much. I’m sorry that I’m like this sometimes…” I apologized and Freed snuggled against my other side.

“Don’t apologize for it sweetheart there is nothing wrong with the way that you are. You’re beautiful the way that you are and I wouldn’t change a thing about you. No matter what we’ll always be there for each other. That was what we promised one another as children correct?” I nodded my head with a small laugh.

“I’m surprised that you even remember that…” The day that Ivan had came to pick Laxus up from camp had been one of the darkest days of my childhood and that was saying a lot.

“Hard to forget when you kicked my dad in the balls for hitting me. And here I thought up until that point that you were this cutesy meek little thing. Then you had to go and do that and that’s when I fell in love with you.” I rolled my eyes because of course that was when he had fallen in love with me.

“You worked so hard to protect me I thought that I could protect you too. It was so scary though afterwards even though I tried to stand up to him.” Freed just smiled at me nuzzling the other side of me as Laxus’s arms tightened around me.

“I thought that it was amazing, I had always wanted to stand up to Ivan but you got him arrested. That got him taken care of and Laxus was able to officially move here. It made the camp trek slightly more difficult but I no longer had to worry if the boy I loved was safe at night.” Laxus cradled my cheeks in his hands and gave me a gentle kiss.

“I knew in that moment that you would be the girl that changed everything for me. I would protect you no matter what because you had given up everything for me.” I fingered the scar on his eye a little bit worriedly and he just smiled at me leaning against my forehead.

“Can I have a kiss too?” Freed pouted and I just laughed at my other partner rolling my eyes softly at them.

“Of course you can krasotka you don’t even need to ask me for them…” I trailed off giving my other partner what he desperately wanted and feeling him melt into the kiss instantly made me feel better.

“There we go that’s a bit better now you’re all soft and warm that’s better.” Freed nuzzled underneath my chin and their long green hair tickled a little bit.

“I don’t think you’re moving for a bit there, they brought the clothes with them when they got here a bit ago but they’re probably too comfortable now.” I heard the soft mutter of later from my partner that caused me to laugh.

“Can I pull your hair out of this snowflake?” I nodded my head against my boyfriend’s chest as he carefully let my long snow blonde hair out of its confines.

“I forgot to take it out before I left sorry about that.” I apologized and my boyfriend softly ran his fingers through my hair.

“Don’t apologize for it Idina. I knew you were babysitting Romeo earlier today. How is he taking everything?” I melted against my boyfriend’s touches of my hair softly settling and finally starting to relax since I got here.

“Surprisingly well even though he and mom were close. I think due to her work hours he was closer with me. He told me that the next time that dad has to go to meet with his divorce lawyer that he wants all three of us to babysit him. Would you like that?” Freed nodded against my chest and I couldn’t help but laugh at my partner.

“Your brother is a rather remarkable child he reminds me a lot of you at that age. I remember a ten year old you standing at the front of the class and singing Yakko’s Nations Of The World perfectly with the bounces as well.” I laughed at the memory since I was back then and still am today a proud member of the Yakko fan club.

“It was the first time that I had ever performed anything like that when I was younger. I mean I danced for talent shows at camp but I had never sang before. Dancing is easy it’s something I never really had to try to do even as a kid. I didn’t know hard singing could be when I was a kid but now I can’t imagine not doing it.” Freed sighed out a sound of comfort when I played with their green hair.

“I’m too comfortable I don’t want to get up ever again. I don’t care if we have a show coming up within the next couple of weeks…” I laughed at my partner getting the fringe out of their faces so that I could see the gorgeous green eyes that laid there.

“You won’t hear me complaining at least for a little bit longer. I don’t want to get up either. What were you two doing?” I asked them and Freed hummed out a sigh of pleasure as I undid their own bun.

“I was just sketching out the final designs for my redone mask for the Beast. It should have more movement so that I can still emote while wearing it through my voice.” I smiled softly at my partner and Laxus grinned down at both of us.

“I was rehearsing Me, even though I’m far past the point where I need a script it still helps. Your brother coming for opening night?” I nodded my head with a small smile on my face thinking about how excited he was for the show.

“I still can’t believe that all of this is real almost…” I said quietly and Laxus just cradled my cheeks gently.

“I know that you’ve been through a lot within the last month snowflake. I’m sorry about everything with your mom but I wouldn’t change anything. Except for maybe Evergreen locking us in that closet claiming that we were all mooning too much for each other and that we should just figure out our shit. That was the only part that I would change about everything.” I laughed at the memory and the panic that I felt in my chest when she locked the door to the green room during our first tech week at the beginning of the month. We always had two tech weeks for everything and the next one wasn’t for another three weeks. That one was going to be utterly exhausting I could feel it in my soul. “

I understand the way that you feel. When I woke up the next morning after all that had happened I thought that I dreamt the whole marvelous evening. When I turned around to see Laxus I saw that you two were cuddling and he was looking at you in this adoring way. When he reassured me that it hadn’t all been a dream I knew that I would never be happier. You’ve always been the one woman that didn’t terrify me to my core.” I laughed genuinely at my partner’s thoughts my shoulders shaking.

“You sure know how to compliment a lady Freed.” I joked and they just rolled my eyes at me with a small smile.

“You know what I meant. I always thought that you were beautiful so when I finally found out that you felt the same way about little old me well I was surprised to say the least when I’m usually such a mess.” I thumbed at my partners cheeks smiling at them reverently shaking my head.

“Krasotka you are anything but a mess. I suppose I should probably translate the pet name at some point it means gorgeous or beautiful in Russian. I told you that was one of the few languages that I didn’t want you learning because I didn’t want you to know the translation for your nickname. I didn’t want to become embarrassed about it later on when you figured out what the nickname really meant. So I lied about what it really meant and I’m sorry about that but I’ve always thought that you were beautiful almost since I met you.” I told them and they just looked up at me with tears in their eyes.

“Just give me a moment to compose myself. I wasn’t expecting to cry today.” They blinked back their tears and I couldn’t help but laugh at him a little bit.

“Do you want to see your dress snowflake?” I nodded my head excitedly and Laxus regrettably let me out of his hug.

“Can you stay for dinner?” He asked me and I shook my head with a small smile on my face since I knew that even though I desperately wanted to I would need to go back home.

“I can’t I’m sorry but I can tomorrow after the drama club’s party and it’s the weekend then so maybe I can stay over here for that. I think that my dad and my brother need some quality time together.” I adjusted my Howl’s Moving Castle sweatshirt that my partner made for me for my birthday in January of this year.

“I can work with that deal snowflake, what about you babe? You want to join in?” He asked Freed and they nodded their heads with a small smile.

“Of course I do I’m always up for a sleepover weekend they are my favorites. Okay the outfits are up in my room here.” I followed my partner up the stairs smiling softly at all the pictures on the wall almost all of them had the three of us in there in some way. Most of the ones that had Freed were taken after their transition at their request. Not that I really blamed them if I had to be constantly reminded of the person that I hated being whenever I came into a house that I loved well I would probably complain too. He opened the door to what he used as his costume studio and I saw my dress hanging up all pretty and movie perfect.

“I hope that it is to your satisfaction it was surprisingly fun to make!! I’m really proud of how it came out despite the fact that it has to deal with my dead name.” My tears were in my eyes and I embraced my partner with a bright smile on my face.

“I love it so much krasotka it is so beautiful I love you so much!!” They embraced me right back pressing gentle kisses across my face.

“I love you too sweetheart, so much. I’m so glad that you’re happy with it. Go try it on I can’t wait to see what it looks like on my favorite model.” I blushed a bright pink picking up the fabric and feeling how textured and layered it was. I went into the bathroom that was connected to their bedroom here and I struggled to put the dress on by myself.

“Umm a little bit of help please?” Freed opened the door and chuckled a little bit at my dilemma that I was currently having.

“I have averted my gaze from you my darling. It might be best to ask Levy for help with this tomorrow since it is rather intricate. I added a petticoat to the bottom of it as well to help make the volume of the actual dress. There we go now to just tie the bow in the back and perfection. You look absolutely breathtaking Idina.” He encouraged me and I turned so that I could kiss them gently.

“What show do you hope comes after this one?” I looked at my partner with a small smile on my face as I got out my character shoes.

“I really hope for it to be Les Miserables.” My partner sighed happily nodding their head. I knew that on of their biggest dream roles in life had been Enjorlas ever since they invited me to the theater to see it when we were little kids.

“Yes please, you would make a stunning Cosette or Eponine, probably an Eponine and you would wear the same wig that you are right now for Beauty. I think that you would be beautiful no matter what though.” I lovingly bumped the shoulder of my partner rolling my eyes at them as I did a simple makeup that would make me look more like my character.

“You have a bias against me that’s why you think that I would do so well. Besides I have a feeling that if that happens Laxus is going to call dibs being Thenardier and that will be hilariously awesome.” I joked and my partner just laughed at me hanging off of my shoulder a little bit.

“That was the first show that you and I ever saw together without the camp. One of the best days of my life even if we had to be around my parents…” They sighed running a hand through their waist length green hair.

“I loved that day too we had such a great time even if I knew that you were being tortured in that outfit they picked out for you. I wanted so badly to trade you since I had leggings on at least. I loved that day because I got to spend it with you. Back then it seemed that you and I did everything together nothing has really changed at all since then. I really am proud of you. I’m amazed that you were able to do this at all given that the name has such a bad context for you.” Freed thumbed at my cheeks their lips pulling into a small smile spinning me around into their arms.

“Well I have always had a problem with saying no to you my darling. It wasn’t that difficult truly besides I would like to put some happy memories with that name. Oh I also made this for you!!” They handed me a headband and I put it over my bangs with a small smile on my face. It really helped put a bow on the outfit no pun intended.

“Now you look more movie accurate I tried to go for as accurate as possible when I was designing your costume. Mine on the other hand, I looked at Depp’s costume mostly since even though I’m not doing all that monstrous makeup I loved the design.” I smiled softly at my partner as he grabbed his hat and adjusted it.

“I’ll go show the other member of our dating party.” I kissed his cheek trying to not get lipstick on his cheek. I exited the bathroom and my boyfriend looked up at me with his eyes wide.

“You look absolutely beautiful, wow I’m actually at a loss for words.” I laughed at my boyfriend as he swept me up in a spinning hug.

“That’s a first.” I teased booping his nose gently and I watched those eyebrows that I loved so much screw together in that mild irritation that I was so accustomed to.

“I’ll have you know that you are at a tremendous disadvantage at the moment as I could very easily use these and abuse you.” He mocked wiggling his fingers and I stiffened knowing what was coming.

“NO!!” I shrieked as he started to tickle my sides and my rapturous laughter left my being as I felt tears come to my eyes and the clench in my tummy start to build up.

“Heh-heh-heh-stop this torture I beg of you!! I’ll do whatever you want.” Those fingers stopped tickling me and I saw the smirk and mischief in Laxus’s eyes.

“What if I want a kiss?” I rolled my eyes giving my boyfriend what he wanted kissing him gently.

“What were you two talking about in the bathroom together?” I settled myself on his knee while he played with the ends of my hair.

“We were talking about what our next show might be after Beauty And The Beast. I know that we haven’t even gotten through the second tech week but we were just troubleshooting ideas. Me and them really want to do Les Miserables.” I could see the little light of passion in those eyes as I mentioned one of our favorite musicals.

“I think that is actually an amazing idea and I would love to do that show with both of you. I think that they would make either an incredible Enjorlas or Javert.” I closed my eyes seeing my partner as my favorite villain in musical theater history. He was the only villain that was deeply complex and emotionally engaging if you got behind his story.

“I didn’t even think about them as Javert. Maybe you should be the brains in this relationship.” I teased lovingly and he just rolled his eyes at me tightening his arms around my waist.

“I know that I’m just the brawn and the looks between the three of you two. You’re both way smarter than I will ever be in my entire damn life and that’s the truth.” I looked at my boyfriend since he would often downplay his own intelligence.

“Molniya you are anything but just the brawn and the looks. You don’t give yourself nearly enough credit for the brain that you have in your head. I am so proud of you and I know that you are going to do incredible things one day. As long as I’m by your side I will continue to encourage you and this amazing person that you are.” My boyfriend softly rubbed at my back keeping me calm and grounded the way that only he and Freed could.

“I wouldn’t promise me things like this snowflake because than I would never let you go.” I melted into my boyfriend with a small smile on my face. “I wouldn’t complain if you never let me go. I want to be with you both for as long as you will have me. Even if we can’t ever get married I don’t need that. I just need you both my side.” I heard the door open and I looked up at my partner seeing their costume. They had basically done the same costume as the Mad Hatter from the modern Alice In Wonderland movies but it was done without the makeup and it was still obvious as to who he was with the iconic hat.

“You look amazing babe, you really do both of you. I’m a little bit humiliated to have to go in there and put on my own costume.” Our partner rolled their eyes at our ridiculous man kissing him gently.

“Go and get dressed you flatterer.” He straightened his pants a little bit and I shook my head at my partner squeezing his hand.

“He is right you know, you undermine your own basic ability. I don’t know anybody that could just whip out something like this while being in charge of the costumes for all the drama club. I don’t know how you do it sometimes krasotka with all the work that you manage to get done in such a short amount of time. You could be a Broadway costume designer. I mean look at what you are able to do.” I showed them by spinning around in a small circle watching the dress flare out beneath the twirl.

“Not just anybody could do this before you open your mouth. You work so hard to make sure that everyone in the club has costumes that fit them. Meanwhile you are constantly battling me for the top student in our school academically. You’re allowed to take breaks and indulge in the finer things in life. Whatever makes you happy I think that you’ll find it.” My partner embraced me with a small smile on their face.

“I think I’d rather indulge in you my darling, you’re a finer part of my life. One of the finest things if I do say so myself.” I blushed a bright pink and my partner just clung to me leaning his head on my shoulder.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it…” I protested and they pulled back from the hug fixing the bow a bit farther back.

“I know darling I work too much but I get to see the smiling faces of my friends and the people that I hold most dear in my life when I give them their costumes. The first time that I saw you in your Belle dress I swear I nearly fainted you were the most stunning creature that I had ever seen in my entire life.” I rolled my eyes softly at my partner as he shook his head dragging me towards a mirror that they kept up there.

“How do you not see how beautiful you are?” They looked at me incredulously and I looked at the mirror seeing nothing more than a little kid.

“I look like a child…” I sighed out and Freed just shook their head at me with a small smile making me lift my chin up.

“That’s not what I see my love allow me to show you the way that I see you. Your snow blonde hair that looked like freshly fallen snow when I first met you was the most beautiful thing that I had ever seen up until that point. Your baby blue eyes struck me when they first looked my way even though we were but children then. You remind me so much of your favorite Disney princess not just in your personality but the way that you carry yourself. From being most comfortable with your hair in a side braid to this very day, to keeping most of the world at a distance except for your friends. I love you so much Idina. I know that you’re scared of the future and I am too. It’s a scary thing to think about sometimes but if we just take a little moment to look in the mirror at ourselves and make sure that we’re okay than I know we can get through anything.” Freed examined me in the mirror and for the first time when I looked up I saw something that wasn’t childish. I saw a young woman with her partner by her side that would be able to get through just about anything.

“Thank you Freed, I-I love you so much…” I thanked them and they just thumbed away my tears as our boyfriend came out of the bathroom dressed as the March Hare. His hat even had little blonde ears and it was something that I fell in love with. He was another one that was taken almost directly from the animated version but I could see the happy smile on Laxus’s face.

“Now we look like the whole set, it’s perfect Freed. You did a really amazing job baby we’re so proud of you for doing this for us.” He encouraged and Freed reached up on his tiptoes to kiss our boyfriend.

“We really do, I couldn’t be happier right now. My dad said that he wanted the three of us to take pictures before I head back to my house.” I grabbed my phone and tilted it sideways and Laxus pulled me into the middle so that everyone was in the shot.

“Say cheese!!” I smiled brightly for the camera replacing it as my wallpaper for my phone with a small smile on my face.

“Text it to us as well!!” Freed encouraged as I sent off the text to my dad of all of us smiling so happily for the camera. I sent it to the group chat with the three of us. I really didn’t want to leave but it was a school night and that was my dad’s rule.

“Do you have to leave now?” Laxus asked me and I nodded my head running my fingers over his cheekbones.

“I do have to go molniya you know the rules. I’ll see you both tomorrow okay? Meet me at the drama club when you get there so that we can all get ready together.” I reminded them and Laxus picked me up in his arms kissing me gently.

“I love you snowflake…” He said quietly and I just nodded my head with a small smile on my face.

“I love you too molniya I’ll stay over tomorrow we’ll all come over here together. We’ll have a Halloween movie marathon, both Addams Family movies and Rocky Horror.” Freed embraced me tightly giving me one last farewell kiss.

“Text me when you get home won’t you my love?” I nodded my head with a small smile on my face.

“Of course I will, I always do.” I changed back into my normal clothes looking at my partners one last time as they cuddled on Freed’s bed. I decided that I would leave them be and drove back to my house.

“I’m back from Gramps’s house!!” I called into the house changing out of my boots hearing Animaniacs from the living room and hearing my brother’s laughter mixed with my dad’s. I texted my partner that I had made it back home safely and got a series of blue hearts and kisses from them.

“Welcome back sissy!! Dad showed the pictures you all looked amazing. Freed did a really incredible job with all the costumes this year. We’re ordering pizza tonight right dad? It’s pizza Thursday!!” I nodded my head knowing that my younger brother was definitely correct in that regard.

“You’re very right Romeo, why don’t you go put your dress up Idina? I’ll go and place the order since I know you must be hungry by now.” My dad smiled softly at me and I went down the stairs to my room that was in the basement. I had moved to the basement rather recently when my dad found out that sometimes if I couldn’t sleep at night I would go to Laxus’s. That’s when he put the no sleepovers on weeknights rule into effect. I hung my dress up putting my character shoes and my headband next to the blue dress for tomorrow. I saw Kyo and Jiji cuddling on my bed and I couldn’t help but smile at my two cats being so sweet and cute.

“My sweet babies…” I took a picture and sent it to the thunder legion group chat that the five of us had made once we all got cell phones.

“It’s your pick for movie night Idina what are we watching?” My dad asked me startling me and I realized that in my haste I had forgotten to close my door.

“We haven’t watched Corpse Bride yet I want to watch that one. I’m doing a sleepover at Laxus’s tomorrow and probably the weekend as well since it’s a Friday. Is that okay?” I asked my dad and he just smiled softly at me ruffling my hair between his fingers.

“You don’t need to ask me if you can stay with your boyfriend for the weekend your fifteen and will be sixteen in a few short months. You’re already driving yourself due to you taking those drivers classes at the community center with Natsu…” I laughed at my dad rolling my eyes at his quirky antics. I had taken drivers classes with Natsu because he wanted to have the ability to drive. I’ve been wanting to drive so I could have that freedom for most of my life. Riding my bike to my boyfriend’s house on the other side of town was exhausting.

“I’m getting my official license next month dad, I just wanted to be driving like everybody else my age. It’s not my fault that I have a really late birthday.” I protested and he just smiled softly at me kissing my forehead.

“I know baby, it’s alright to want to be a bit ahead of the game. I understand that you wanted that freedom to be able to drive yourself to your boyfriend’s house. I’ve always been lenient with you on rules about this kind of thing and let you be independent. It was something that I really wanted for you to be.” My dad thumbed at my cheeks and I smiled softly at him hugging him back.

“You might not be my daughter biologically but I’ve always felt that you were by design. We’re family, a bit messed up and a bit broken but still good.” I laughed at my dad as he quoted my brother’s favorite Disney movie. “I’m going to paint his room themed to Lilo and Stitch for his next birthday I just hope that he likes it.” My dad smiled softly at me taking my arm through his and leading me back up the stairs where my brother had his stuffed animals.

“What is your favorite stuffed animal sissy?” He asked me and I laughed a little bit rubbing the back of my neck at the hard question.

“I think that my favorite would have to be my King stuffed animal that dad bought me when I was your age. That was one of my favorite shows that Freed showed me so when dad surprised me with a professionally made plush of him I was really happy.” I smiled softly at my dad sitting down on the other side of my little brother.

“What are we watching tonight?” He asked me and I smirked a little bit internally since this was one of my favorite movies to watch for fun.

“Corpse Bride kiddo strap yourself in.” I joked and I went back to my room quickly to grab my King stuffed animal feeling the soft texture of his skull. He was also really big considering his proportions to my other stuffed animals.

“And I’m back just was getting this little guy.” I hugged him closer to me and my dad just smiled softly at me.

“I hope that neither of you ever change do you hear me? Just stay the same as you are right now.” My dad threatened and I laughed openly at him hearing the doorbell ring signaling that our pizza was here.

“Can I hug him sissy?” Romeo asked me and I gently handed him my favorite stuffed animal and he gave him a hug.

“Thank you for protecting my sister when she needed you the most. I know that she’s been through a lot and has a lot of nightmares.” My brother thanked my stuffed animal and I felt tears come to my eyes at the sweet moment.

“There you go sissy, you can have him back now.” I took King back and settled him on my lap to watch one of my favorite Halloween movies.

“Thank you for giving him back to me. He’s one of my favorite animated characters ever since I was about your age.” Romeo snuggled against my side as dad came in with the greasy food and handed the three of us plates. I grabbed my plate and two slices of my pineapple and olive pizza. He put on my favorite Halloween themed children’s movie and I watched with my brother snuggled against my side and by the end of the movie he was asleep.

“You get some sleep too kiddo. I know that you and your partners have a late night movie marathon already planned for tomorrow.” I laughed a little bit and sat up going back down to the basement kissing my dad’s cheek as he tried to wake up my brother. I hopped down the stairs brushing my teeth and instantly falling asleep once I turned on my heater. I snuggled under my sheets with King in my arms smiling softly. My alarm woke me up with Dear Theodosia long before I actually wanted to get up. I cursed having to be at school by seven forty five on a good day to start at eight but that was what most schools had to do. I remembered what day it was and that was like a boost of serotonin in me.

“It’s Halloween!!” I cheered getting into my shower and washing my hair so that it would be easier to brush out. I put my costume on a lot easier than yesterday and fixed the hair bow back far enough to fit.

“Curiouser and curiouser…” I said in the mirror and I smiled softly doing a small spin. Thankfully my character shoes had a comfortable heel to them so I wouldn’t wind up getting hurt at all today. I went up the stairs smelling the scent of pancakes that my dad was making.

“Good morning princess happy Halloween!! Don’t you look just amazing?” He asked me kissing my cheek with a small smile on his face.

“Happy Halloween dad, is Romes still sleeping?” My dad nodded his head and I tiptoed down the hallway to my brother’s room. I looked at his Stitch nightlight with a small smile on my face. Soon that wouldn’t be the only thing in this room themed to his favorite Disney movie. I saw him snuggled under his sheets that had Stitch and Scrub on them and I couldn’t help but smile. I looked at his wall seeing the little paintings that I had made for him when he was born mostly it had Yakko flying around in his spaceship around the planets. I flipped on his light switch and saw him stir a little bit.

“It’s morning bratishka that means it’s Halloween!!” I exclaimed watching him sit up in surprise and cheer.

“Yay it’s Halloween!! I get to go to your school today!!” I cheered with him looking forward to this day filled with fun. Most of Halloween was meant for parties in my classes and it was one of my favorite things about going to a different kind of school. “

You do indeed but you have to spend the morning with your own class before the field trip.” I reminded him and he sighed a little bit. I went into his closet and grabbed his costume that he had picked out. He had wanted to be Flynn Rider this year because his friend Wendy wanted to be Rapunzel and I couldn’t wait to see them together. They reminded me so much of my childhood relationship with Laxus and Freed.

“There are pancakes downstairs whenever you’re ready my Flynn Rider.” I reminded him kissing his forehead and skipping down the hardwood floors.

“Are we watching Charlie Brown while we eat breakfast and continuing that holiday tradition?” I asked my dad and he laughed as if we would do anything else. It was one of those holiday traditions that came with leaving the Grinch short until Christmas Eve and watching it way too many times.

“You get it cued up and I’ll get your pancakes all ready for you.” He told me and I smiled brightly at him spinning around and sitting gently on my side of the couch. I found the iconic episode and my dad carried me my food so that I could watch one of my favorite holiday traditions. My brother came into the room all dressed and ready and my dad handed him a frying pan to give to Wendy.

“Oh no it’s Flynn Rider…” I joked and my brother shot me his best “smolder” that had me dying laughing.

“Okay my favorite wanted man want some pancakes?” My brother nodded his head head happily as he hopped onto the couch next to me. I put on the episode once everyone was seated for breakfast and I put my napkin on my lap to make sure that I was careful to not ruin all the hard work Freed had put into this costume.

“Alright, I need to get to school but I love you Romeo and I’ll see you in a few hours.” I kissed my brother’s cheek before grabbing my backpack and heading down the familiar walking road to school. Despite me having a drivers license early mom was supposed to give me her car but when she left the car went with her leaving me without one tragically. So that meant that dad still had to shuttle me almost everywhere I wanted to go. I saw my familiar sight of my performing arts high school and all 400 students around the hallways. I wanted to go to a smaller more tight knit high school mostly because middle school was really overwhelming and even though I had to try really hard and audition to get in here all my friends were able to get in as well. It was amazing to get to have all my friends surrounding me in a special place. I opened the front door and instantly this wash of my second home came over me.

“Hey Idina!!” I heard one of my older friends call out, the leader for the seniors here and she waved me down. She had on a Charlie cosplay and I instantly fell in love with the way that she pulled it off.

“Charlotte!! I love your costume, are all your friends doing Hazbin characters?” I asked her and she smiled brightly at me.

“It’s our last year here so we figured that we might as well go all out and have fun while doing it. I’m the only one doing this show sadly because I didn’t want my friends to all get in trouble but my girlfriend is Vaggie she’s just not here yet. What about you? Are your partners both doing Alice?” I nodded my head with a bright smile on my face showing her the dress that Freed had made for me.

“They’re not here yet either I beat them to school as well. I think it’s really cute that you and your girlfriend are doing matching costumes. I don’t know what my other friends are doing yet but Freed made all of our costumes.” My friend smiled at me patting the spot next to her and I carefully sat down.

“You must be really excited it’s your first year doing kiddie trick or treat!! Your brother is coming isn’t he?” I nodded my head showing her a picture of what my little brother looked like so that she would know.

“Of course!! His whole class is coming and his best friend is going to be Rapunzel. I just hope that my mom doesn’t wind up coming not that they would let her in but security seems to be a lot more lax today…” I trailed off and my friend just took my hand smiling softly at me. I saw her girlfriend coming dressed up perfectly as the girlfriend of my favorite hotel owner.

“Whatever happens it will be fine hun just be yourself, have some fun and I’ll see you later kay?” I nodded my head as she grabbed her backpack and went off with her girlfriend greeting her with a gentle kiss.

“Oh my god you look so cute!!” I heard an all too familiar voice screech and I turned to see Levy dressed up as peasant Belle.

“Levs!! So do you, did Freed make yours too?” I asked her and she sighed a little bit fingering a lock of her blue hair.

“I wish I didn’t want to bother them so I took it to another professional who charged me a bunch of money but the product looks good. Not all of us can be dating our clothing maker.” She joked and I rolled my eyes with a sarcastic laugh.

“He would have done it for you anyways but I can see where you would be worried and a little bit concerned. It still looks great!! That’s why I asked if they made it. Do you have a certain Beast?” I playfully wiggled my eyebrows at her and she flushed a bright pink. I had been evilly plotting to get my best friend together with a recent addition to our friend group and a member of the lighting crew Gajeel Redfox. So far no luck but I really wanted them to get together and be absolutely adorable.

“Maybe I do maybe I don’t either way that’s none of your damn business.” I laughed at my best friend covering my hand with my mouth.

“I am allowed to ship my best friend get over it. What are your plans for tonight?” I asked her and she put her fingers together.

“I might have a date…” My eyes widened and I kicked her foot gently with mine in sheer shock and indignation.

“You bitch were you going to tell me like at all?” I asked her and she smiled softly thinking about her date tonight.

“I was waiting for you to guess what was different about me. Gajeel asked me out yesterday when he came over for the final costume fitting. He is the Beast before he gets all handsome. What about you? Plans with Laxus and Freed?” I smiled brightly at my best friend happy that she finally had somebody to call her own.

“That’s great Levs!! I’m really happy for you. It’s movie marathon and sleepover weekend for us so yes we do have plans for tonight. It’s both Addams Family movies and Rocky Horror Picture Show night for us so your typical fanfare. It’s something that we’ve done every year since…. I think we were thirteen? We watched Rocky when we were way too young.” I laughed openly and Levy just smiled softly.

“I think that it’s great though that you have these traditions that now cary over to your relationship. It’s good to see you this excited about something.” She remarked and I saw a familiar figure in a very familiar looking cape.

“Oh hey look there’s Gajeel.” I taunted and saw my best friend’s cheeks turn a ruddy pink at the idea of her boyfriend being here.

“I’m not going to live this down am I?” I shook my head at my best friend’s question as the boy in question came over to our table.

“Idina, you look cute. Freed make your costume?” I nodded my head with a bright smile on my face showing him the picture that we had taken yesterday.

“They made all of our costumes for the three of us again this year. They’ve always made my costumes but this is the first time that we’ve ever done a set.” I mentioned and he smiled softly at the three of us all happy.

“I think I’ll leave you two be, I see my partners. I’ll see you both in homeroom.” I tossed them a joking wink and going over to where I saw Laxus and Freed who instantly swept me into a spinning hug.

“You look so gorgeous my darling, I have one more thing. Consider them an early Christmas present from me but they also match your outfit and I know how much you love these things.” Freed gave me a mini backpack that had the Mad Hatter from the cartoon version on it and a wallet that had the animated March Hare on it.

“Freed you didn’t have to get me anything…” I protested and he just hushed me gently miming for me to open the backpack and when I did I saw that it had a little pop figurine of animated Alice.

“Oh it’s so cute thank you krasotka I didn’t get anything for you though…” I protested and they just shook their head at me.

“I think you wearing their clothing designs is a thank you present enough for them. Now where is my kiss.” I rolled my eyes at my boyfriend kissing Laxus gently as he wrapped his arms tightly around me.

“You really do clean up nicely snowflake.” I stuck my tongue out at my teasing boyfriend laughing a little bit.

“Thank you molniya I would say the same about you but it would make your head get even bigger.” I teased gently and he just scoffed at me rolling his eyes. He let me out of his hug just as the five minute bell for homeroom rang.

“I can put my candy in here!!” I cheered taking out the four jumbo bags of candy and putting them into the backpack before lifting it.

“If your arms get tired of lifting that I could carry it for you.” I smiled softly at the gentleness but at the same time light teasing of my boyfriend.

“I assure you that I am perfectly capable of doing this all on my own.” Freed took my hand and Laxus took the other opposite one and I found myself flashing back to Halloween when we were children running around. I had so many found memories of those early days. Days of wearing princess dresses and playing pretend. When my dad made me that King tutu and I had his mask and nobody knew who I was when I went trick or treating and it made me cry until Laxus told me that adults were just stupid.

“Darling? Are you okay? You’ve been quiet for a few minutes and I think Laxus is getting worried.” Freed waved the opposite hand in front of my face and I shook myself nodding my head.

“I’m fine I was just lost in a memory that’s all. Remember when I was King for Halloween and none of the adults knew who I was or why I was acting that way?” I asked them and Laxus scoffed rolling his eyes.

“Those adults just had no taste it’s that simple. You looked adorable demanding that the other children obey you. I knew that you were harmless just like your favorite demon of the underworld.” I smiled softly at my boyfriend as we entered the black box drama room and saw the place where I called my second home within a home.

“Alright my favorite class today is kiddie trick or treat and I see that you’re all dressed up for the holiday!! This doesn’t mean that you’re getting off easy there will still be rehearsal after school. We have a month before our big show and three weeks before the hell that is our final tech week. I know that a lot of you have put your heart and soul into this show and I’m so proud of you all. Especially our main three actors who have managed to maintain their relationship and act like enemies on the stage. I know first hand just how hard that can be since my husband and I were Javert and Valjean in high school.” Mr. Curtis called our attention to the front of the board and I listened as he talked about his relationship with his husband. He had dressed up as Milo Thatch from Atlantis Lost Empire and I was instantly reminded as to why this was my favorite teacher.

“How many of you have special plans for tonight?” He asked us and I raised my hand with my other partners and I saw Mr. Curtis smile at the three of us. “What do you three have planned?” Freed took the question since usually when somebody called on all three of us at the same time we took turns as to which would answer.

“We’ve had a tradition for the last three years that we would get together on Halloween no matter what day it was and have a three movie marathon. We watch Addams Family, Addams Family Values and Rocky Horror Picture Show. It’s always been one of my favorite holidays for that reason. I love getting to spend the day with the two people that I love more than anything in the world.” I felt tears come to my eyes and I quickly tried to blink them back throwing my arms around my partner.

“I shouldn’t have expected anything less from you three having movie marathons is one of the best parts of a relationship and all those movies are fantastic. Just try not to rot your teeth out with too many of Idina’s sweets.” Our teacher winked jokingly in my direction remembering that I had baked brownies for his birthday earlier on in the month.

“You were the one that told me it was your birthday Curtis you should have seen that coming.” The alarm went off and I instantly grabbed my bags of candy so that I could be ready for the children.

“Alright kids just like we planned it. If you don’t use all your candy feel free to donate it to the Curtis wants Candy fund afterwards.” He joked and I grabbed three of my jumbo bags handing the others to my partners. “I’m ready to see some adorable children!!” I cheered as the kids started to come through the hallways all of them dressed up and ready for the upcoming excitement of the holiday.

#Halloween #fan fiction #Fairy Tail #origianl character #fraxus

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