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whatareyousearchingfordean · 4 years

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Happiness Begins

Part 25

Chapter Summary: The reader finds herself dragged to a charity event by her big brother. What will she do when she finds out what he really has planned for her?

Word Count: 4.6K+

Warnings: Language, angst

Author’s Note: Well, here it is. The final part. I am honestly amazed I even made it here. This story turned into a true monster from its original inception. I know I would have never made it here without all of your guys’ love and support. Your feedback means the world, so keep it up. You never know whose day you might make. I hope this is all you dreamed it would be if not, don’t blame me, I just typed this shit out ha. xo Alex

Catch up with the series masterlist and check out Alexandra’s Library for more works by yours truly!

Jared had insisted that Y/n ride with him and Gen to the fundraiser he had begged that she go to in the first place. He knew her too well, after all. If Y/n didn’t want to go somewhere, she was exceptionally good at getting out of it. But their sharing of a ride to the event left her without a number of excuses. So she bit the bullet and just accepted her fate. After all it was for a good cause, and she was authorized to make a donation on behalf of Et Cetera.

Y/n followed behind her brother and his wife into the event, the two of them practically skipping, their fingers entwined between them. The sight made her both smile and her stomach turn.

Out Youth Austin had organized this little shindig at the country club that Jared frequented in town. It was the perfect sunny afternoon for a party. Y/n laughed to herself as she took in the image in front of her. It reminded her too much of the final scene from Step Brothers, well, minus the ocean in the background and the giant ice sculpture of a helicopter.

The place was bustling, there was a live band playing some song she didn’t recognize, but they had a certain aura about them that was infectious. The charity had also decided on a fully catered Texas style barbeque, complete with lots of alcohol. Y/n mumbled a silent ‘thank you’ to whatever was listening as she spotted the bar. Silently she slipped away from her brother and towards the bar, looking for something cold and fruity to keep her sated.

Jared noticed her absence almost instantly, taking the opportunity of her departure to initiate his plan. Well technically, her spotting the bar was step one of his plan, which she had fallen for hook line and sinker. Genevieve stood begrudgingly by his side, also in on said plan, no matter how much she truly hated it. The things we do for love...

“She’s going to kill you when she finds out, you know that?” Gen whispered to her husband as he was bent over the sign-in table.

“I can handle myself. Besides, I’m sure she’ll thank me later.”

“You have a lot of confidence in that. I hope you are right.” Gen mumbled. Jared made a face at his wife as if to say ‘trust me’. He knew full well how badly this could go, but he also understood how good it could all work out. Things were still tense between himself and his baby sister and at this point he could lose her either way. He at least had to try this.

Once they had signed themselves and Y/n in, they went to find her with their seating assignment. She was reluctant to go too far from the bar, earning a sour look from Jared. Like a scolded child, she followed him to their table, a small frown on her face.

Once she knew where she was to eat dinner, she left them again to network. Jared and Gen were quick though to follow her into the crowd. They stuck to her like glue the whole time, unwilling to let her out their sight. After all, she didn’t want to be here in the first place, making her a flight risk in Jared’s eyes. And he couldn’t exactly lose her if he wanted this to work. He also was there to steer her in the right direction. After all he couldn’t risk her seeing something she shouldn’t and ruining everything.

Y/n, on the other hand, couldn’t understand her family’s odd behavior. Everytime she turned around, there were Jared and Gen. It didn’t matter where she went or who she was talking to, they were always a step behind her, making the young woman uneasy. Y/n chose to brush off their peculiar actions, chalking it up to Jared’s lack of trust in her.

The dinner was served about an hour after the three of them had arrived at the venue. The food that was served was like nothing she had ever tasted before. It gave a true definition to southern style cooking. Y/n made a mental note to get the caterer’s information from whomever she could pry it from.

Y/n quirked her head up as the music died down from the stage and the audience was applauding. A spritely woman, who Y/n deemed to only be a few years older than herself, bounced onto the stage, taking the mic from the lead singer, “Desert is about to be served, we hope you all enjoy it as it was made right here in Austin. We have about thirty minutes until the auction starts, so get your wallets out and ready.” The organizer rushed off the stage just as quick as she came to a hoopa from the crowd. Y/n turned back to her brother, her brow scrunched together on her forehead.

“You didn’t say there would be an auction.” She noted, confusion written on her features. Gen suddenly became very interested in the ice cream now being placed in front of her as Y/n spoke. Y/n picked up on the way the woman averted her eyes, not daring to look up at her sister in law.

“I didn’t? I could have sworn I did...” Jared’s voice was high as he played her comment off.

Y/n hummed, annoyance now bubbling up in her chest. “No, you didn’t.” Her tone was firm with her resolution. “Jared, what are they auctioning off?” She had to ask the question even though, based on her family's sudden change in demeanor, she was afraid she didn’t truly want to know the answer.

“Oh, you know, just the usual.”

“Jared.” Y/n set her lips in a tight line as she glared at her brother. He was up to something, and she knew it was going to piss her off.

“They are auctioning off dates with local eligible bachelorettes.” He shrugged as if it was no big deal. A huff of air left her lips as the realization dawned on her. Y/n closed her eyes.

“Please tell me you didn’t…”

“I did.”

“Jared! You signed me up to be auctioned off like some cattle to a strange old rich guy? I can’t believe you!” Y/n threw her napkin on the table and moved to leave. Jared grabbed her arm, an action that only sent more fire through her veins. She tugged her arm from his grasp. “Don’t.”

“Y/n.” Jared’s voice was soft as he attempted to not draw more attention to themselves than had already been drawn. “It’s for a good cause. Please? Who knows, maybe this could be exactly what you need.”

Y/n stared at him, incredulous. His words didn’t make any sense to her. Jared said ‘this could be exactly what she needed’? What does that even mean?

“You can’t back out now, they already have your name. Think about how that would look.” Jared raised his eyebrows at her and she could only clench her jaw. He was right, and that only pissed her off. He was smarter than she cared to admit.

“I hate you for doing this to me.” Y/n growled as she sat back down in her seat. Jared smiled, the action quickly faltering when he realized she would not be smiling back at him.

The sun was just beginning to fall towards the horizon as the auction started. Jared explained that Y/n was to stay in her seat until they introduced her, then she would head up on stage. The whole notion of selling dates with women churned at her gut, causing her to leave her desert untouched.

As much as she hated the idea, she was in this now. There was no way she could go back without making herself and the charity look like fools, and she hated that Jared knew that too. The only saving grace that was helping her hold back the bile in her throat was that she knew it was all for charity.

She did a quick check of her makeup as woman after woman was sold to the highest bidder. One more girl was sent off to her fate, when the announcer introduced Y/n as the next prize. She made her way to the stage, her head held high and a polite smile on her face.

“Miss Padalecki is a seasoned and truly talented makeup artist. She studied at E.I. School of Professional Makeup in Hollywood and has worked on multiple television shows, including the one in which her dear older brother, Jared Padalecki, stars; Supernatural. This beautiful woman also owns her own makeup line headquartered right here in Austin; Et Cetera. Shall we start the bidding at one thousand dollars?” Multiple hands went up before she could get the words out, much to Y/n’s surprise. The number jumped to five thousand dollars before she even had a chance to blink.

“Ten thousand.” A hand in the far corner went up and her eyes immediately snapped towards the voice. Y/n would recognize that voice anywhere and her suspicion was confirmed when she locked eyes with those familiar golden green orbs. Her breath caught in her throat as she finally understood what Jared had been talking about. He had set this all up, reasons for which she didn’t understand. Last she knew, the two of them hadn’t even been on talking terms. What had she missed?

A few more people out bid Jensen, and she wasn’t sure if she was relieved about that or not. Hell, she wasn’t even sure if she should be relieved. But Jensen, the stubborn ass he was, wasn’t letting her go that easily, coming back with a counter offer of a good three grand over the last one. He was dead set on making sure he won this one.

“Eighteen thousand.” Some guy called from a table in the front, but she didn’t even glance his way. The steady drumming in her chest began to pick up pace, threatening to burst from her chest as she waited with bated breath, her eyes never leaving Jensen.

“Twenty five thousand.” Y/n scoffed, if he won this thing she was going to punch him for spending this kind of money on her, especially when he could have just called her. It was a stupid, ostentatious gesture, but that being said, she couldn’t deny the butterflies it had awoken in her gut.

“Do I hear twenty six?” The auctioneer called out. It was quiet. “Going once,” Still silence. “Twice… Sold to paddle 853. Thank you so much for your generous donation.” Y/n let out a breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding. A hand found her elbow and began to guide the stunned woman off the stage.

Her body was shaking as she fought her conflicting emotions. On one hand, she was relieved that she wasn’t stuck with an awkward night with a stranger, but on the hand, she was pissed at Jensen and her brother for setting her up. Jared met her stare across the tables and she glared before stomping off across the golf course to get her some space to think.

Her heels were just hitting the pavement of the far side of the parking lot when she heard someone calling her name behind her. She didn’t want to turn just yet to face the man she knew had chased after her, but she had nowhere else to go.

“Y/n, wait!” Jensen tried again as the woman spun on her heel to face him, the confusion evident even behind the anger in her eyes. “Listen, I know you’re mad-”

“Damn right I’m mad! You two had no right to do this. If you wanted to talk to me, you could have just picked up the phone. Why go through all this?” She seethed.

“Would you have answered if I called?” He asked her, his head tilting even though he already knew the answer.

“That’s not the point.” She mumbled. Though honestly, she couldn’t answer him as to whether or not she would have answered. Right now she wanted nothing more than to say no, just to pour salt in his wounds, but she couldn’t do that.

“It’s exactly the point, Y/n/n.” Jensen’s voice dropped as he made his point. “If it helps, it was all Jared’s idea.” Jensen tried to ease the tension with a small smile and she hated how her body instinctively reacted to it with a smile of its own. She quickly composed her face as soon as she realized her slip.

“I think that makes you feel better, not me.” She answered honestly.

“You’re probably right.” Jensen let his shoulders fall as he looked at her. Y/n looked just as stunning as he remembered, if not more so. That fact only had his heart clenching in his chest, the evidence of his mistakes standing in front of him. As he admired her tanned skin where it showed dark in contrast against her yellow dress, the way her hair fell in waves framing all the high points in her face, and even the tension in her jaw as she fought herself to let him see her smile, all the reasons for his past choices seemed irrelevant. This woman standing in front of him had his whole heart. He understood that now. There was no one else that he would ever love more than her.

“I know I may not be your favorite person right now, but I won’t take back what we did. All I’m asking is that you listen to what I have to say.”

Y/n chewed on the inside of her lip as she eyed the man in front of her. He looked like he was on the verge of tears, his features pulled down as he pleaded with her. And no matter how much she wanted to tell him to fuck off, she couldn’t. All she could do was nod.

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow, six o’clock?” Jensen offered.

“Six o’clock.” Y/n confirmed before turning away and leaving him at the edge of the parking lot.

****

Y/n stared at her open closet, contemplating how she should dress for this. Honestly, she knew full well she was overthinking all of it. It didn’t matter what she wore, but she also knew that it was just her anxiety’s way of diverting from the real problems raging in her head.

Eventually she just landed on a pair of jeans and a nice blouse. She paired it with her favorite sneakers. In the end, she decided she just wanted to be comfortable.

Y/n was making sure she had what she needed in her purse when there was a soft knock on her door.

Taking a deep breath, she went to the light wooden door and pulled it open. Jensen had a soft smile on his face as he came into view. He was sporting a pair of dark wash jeans, paired with a soft looking tee. It seemed he went just as casual as she had, topping off his look with a pair of converse.

“You look beautiful.” He noted as his eyes racked up her figure. Heat flooded her cheeks under his intense gaze.

Y/n cleared her throat, not wanting to dwell on his compliment. “Shall we go?” Jensen stepped back, signalling for her to exit. Y/n locked up behind herself and headed down the stairs outside her door that lead to the parking lot.

Once they were pulling out of the lot, Y/n could feel his gaze on her from the driver's seat. It made her uncomfortable and hot all at the same time. “Mind paying attention to the road, you aren’t fake driving here.” She turned to him just as he snapped his head back to the road.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel weird.”

“It’s okay. Truly this whole thing is weird.” Y/n admitted, her voice low.

“I’m sorry.” Jensen repeated himself. Y/n rolled her eyes at that, it grated on her nerves more than it should have.

“Jensen, you’ve got to stop saying ‘I’m sorry’. It won’t make a difference.” What she wanted to say was it wouldn’t make a difference because she had already forgiven him. What she wanted to say was he was wasting his breath. But she didn’t, just because she forgave him didn’t mean that everything was rainbows and butterflies. Jensen still owed her an explanation. And besides, it was fun to watch him squirm a little. Her comment had officially shut him up, for now. She could see where his jaw was clenched as he kept his eyes fixed directly ahead. It almost made her feel guilty… almost.

Jensen pulled off towards McKinney Falls State Park, parking in a secluded spot under a tree. He hopped out of the car without a word. She watched him as he walked around the car and opened her door for her, offering her his hands as she stepped out. With a silent ‘thank you’ he let go of her hand and went to his trunk. Y/n couldn’t help her curiosity, only to have it satiated as he pulled out a small cooler and a rolled up blanket.

“A picnic?” It was hard for her to hide the upturn of her lips.

“Yeah, last I remember you liked my cooking. And I thought you would feel more comfortable away from my place.” Y/n cast her eyes away from him. It was a sweet gesture, and she had to fight the tears stinging in her eyes. Sometimes she really hated how easily she cried.

“Lead the way.” Jensen moved past her into the relatively empty park. The whole place was huge, leaving plenty of space for people to spread out. They were walking for she didn’t even know how long, when he finally picked a spot under a large oak tree near the water. Jensen tossed the blanket out for them to take a seat on and placed the cooler in the center.

“Come on.” He urged her to follow his lead as he sprawled out on the blanket. The grown man looked hilarious as he tried to find a comfortable position. Y/n crossed her legs and sat up straight across from him, waiting intently for him to start unpacking whatever it was that he had. “I didn’t think this through.” He admitted as he continued to shuffle around.

“Just lean back against the tree.” She gestured to him and took it upon herself to pull items from his cooler. She started with the two bottles of sweet tea, then a tupperware container filled with what looked like coleslaw, followed by two bags of chips and some sandwiches. Y/n handed off Jensen his share then grabbed the forks and moved to sit next to him, her back resting against the tree. She set the container of coleslaw between them and handed Jensen a fork before turning her attention to the sandwich. Y/n took a bite, her taste buds exploding with flavor with one bite.

“Holy,” She mumbled around a mouthful of food.

“Yeah?” Y/n nodded, she could never deny his cooking abilities, especially considering this was one of the best sandwiches she’s ever had. How the hell does he do that? “You should try the coleslaw, it’s grandma Ackles’ secret recipe.”

Y/n covered her mouth as she swallowed her bite. “Okay.” she agreed. Jensen filled the fork with the dish and held it out for her to eat. Her mouth closed around the utensil, her lips pulling all of the tangy salad into her mouth. Jensen had to bite back his groan as he watched her movement, followed by her eyes rolling up in her head. After all this time, she still had that effect on him, and he knew she always would.

“Good?” The tip of Jensen’s tongue was peaking out of the corner of his mouth as he waited.

“That’s amazing, like really amazing. What does she put in that?” Y/n hummed.

“Sorry, I promised her I would take her secret to the grave.”

“Your grandma Ackles was a very mean woman.” Jensen laughed as a pout formed on Y/n’s features. He had to avert his attention elsewhere. Y/n could have gotten him to do anything she wanted with that pout. It was unfair, really.

“She actually kind of was.” Jensen mused, remembering the strict yet loving woman.

The two of them continued their picnic in relative silence. Everything Jensen had put together was beyond delicious. It amazed Y/n how he could make something so simple taste so delicious. But she never doubted the man, after all he was annoyingly good at everything.

Once the food began to dry up, they both knew that they were just postponing the inevitable. For once, Y/n found the courage to just bite the bullet. “Well, you have me here. I’m listening.”

“Okay...” Jensen sucked in a breath as he brushed the chip crumbs from his fingers. “Gotta be honest, I’m not exactly sure where to start. I’ve gone over what I would say in this moment since you left Vancouver, but nothing ever quite came out right.” His hands rubbed up and down his jean clad thighs, one of the other nervous habits that Y/n had quickly picked up on from him. He cast his glance down for a moment, before looking back at her. Her eyebrows were perked up on her forehead as she waited in silence.

“Jared and I have talked. We’ve actually been talking for a couple weeks.”

“I’m glad.” And she was glad for the both of them. They were important to each other and they deserved to be in each other’s lives. As much as she hated how much their mistakes broke her relationship with her brother, she also hated what it did to Jensen and Jared’s relationship.

“He actually came to me and we hashed out our differences. I mean we aren’t where we used to be but I think with time we will get there. He told me you guys are talking again too.”

“Yeah, well it’s debatable how long it will last this time.” Y/n grumbled. She was still pissed at him for lying to her and she felt like being dramatic about it for a while.

“Y/n/n, we messed up, I messed up. We went about this all the wrong way. But I don’t take back leaving you, because it did give you a chance to make up with your brother, and that’s all I ever wanted, your happiness.” Jensen admitted.

Y/n pursed her lips, pushing down the fight building in her chest. “So why are we here then?”

“Because you’re not happy Y/n.”

“And you know that how?” She pushed back.

“Jared told me you are thinking about selling Et Cetera.”

“So that means I’m unhappy?”

“Yeah, it does. I know you better thank you want to believe. Selling the most cherished thing to you and moving across the country away from everyone and everything that you love is not like you. The woman I fell in love with fights for what she believes in, for what she wants. And I can’t let you go without telling you it’s a mistake.”

“All of this is just you telling me what is best for me again. I don’t see how it’s any different than the last fight we had.”

“It’s different because you know it too. You’re running, and don’t try to lie to me. I know this is about me.”

“So what if it is? I reserve the right to make my own life decisions.”

“You’re absolutely right, you do. But I can’t let you do that without knowing all the facts. Y/n, I love you, and selfishly I don’t want you to go. Walking out that door in Vancouver left this emptiness in my chest that’s suffocating me. Everyday I wake up wondering how you are doing, and if you are okay. You’re the first person I wanted to call when my manager set up this big audition for me, and you were the first person I wanted to call when I didn’t get the part.” Jensen let out a huff, composing himself before continuing. “I just couldn’t let you go without knowing that.”

Y/n was at a loss for words, for the first time in a long time. That was quite the admission, and what was one to say to that? “What about Danneel?” It was the only thing she could come up with in the moment, her words startling even her.

Jensen smiled. “I was hurting and needed a friend to talk to. I was looking for advice on how to get myself out of this funk. Danneel knows me just as good as anyone.”

“What did she tell you to do?”

“She said that if I love you, and you love me then we would find our way back to each other, even if I had to go and get you.”

“So this is you just coming to get me then.” Y/m mused to herself, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. “What if I don’t love you?”

“Then I’ll walk away, and you can go to New York and be a big successful business woman that lives out all her dreams. But only if that’s what you truly want.” He paused and shifted himself towards her more. “Is that what you want?”

Y/n swallowed, the motion getting stuck in her throat. “No, I want you. It’s always been you.”

“Then please don’t do this. Stay here and build your business big enough to scare that other company into bankruptcy.” Jensen pleaded with her. Y/n shook her head, chuckling. She knew it would come to this at some point.

“Jay, I already turned them down. You are right, I couldn’t leave my family behind, and I couldn’t leave you.”

“How long were you going to listen to me rant for?” His voice rose an octave, his thousand watt smile returning to his face.

“You were on a roll,” she shrugged. “Besides, you said all I had to do was listen.” Y/n failed miserably to hide the smile on her face. Jensen shoved at her shoulder, sending both of them into a fit of laughter.

As he got back his senses, a warm smile spread across Jensen’s face. There was one last thing they needed to clear up. “Listen, I know we still have some things to work on, but I want to work on them. You and me. What do you say?”

“You had me at ‘you look beautiful’.” Y/n licked her lips, an action not unnoticed by the man next to her. Jensen shook his head, fighting back his own smartass comment. “Seriously though, best idea I’ve heard all day.”

Jensen chuckled as he leaned himself towards Y/n. “I’d really like to kiss you now, if that’s okay.”

Y/n reached her hand out, cupping his jaw as she ran her thumb over the stubble on his face. “You are such a sap sometimes.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“And an idiot.” She finished with a roll of her eyes, all the while smiling like an idiot herself, before leaning into him and bringing his lips to her own. At that moment, it didn’t matter what had happened in the past. It didn’t even matter what was going to happen in the future. All that mattered was that he loved her and she loved him. And all the rest, well, it would fall into place, one way or another.

Epilogue

Forevers: @spn-impala @22sarah08 @turtlepad @callmekda @chaldei @hobby27 @cowboysnwinchesters @tranquility-or-chaos @pikabootoyouchu @dawnie1988 @grease222 @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @polina-93 @clarinette07 @moonlight-babeh @suckerforfanfic @witandnargles @sleepylunarwolf @stiles-stilinski-24-dylan @geeksareunique @akshi8278 @superfanficnatural @malfoysqueen14 @deanwanddamons @waywardbeanie @emoryhemsworth @talesmaniac89 @waywardbeanie

Et Cetera: @jbbarnesgirl @hillface89 @arses21434 @thevelvetseries @sslater34 @mrsirishboru @smoothdogsgirl @spnfamily-j2 @encounterthepast @facadeformyrealblog @supernatural-bellawinchester @screechingartisancashbailiff @rebeccathefangirl @squirrelnotsam @heartinmyhead1 @1d-killed-me @samsgirl93 @deans-baby-momma @deanmonandnegansbitch @woodworthti666 @supraveng @onethirstyunicorn @heartsaved @know2grow @littlewhiterose @surprisinglysarah @stoneyggirl @carryon-doctor-lock @thebookisbtr @youaremyfiveever @kalesrebellion @lilulo-12 @winchester-fantasies @vicmc624 @supernatural3002 @winchester-writes @maralisa124 @therollingstoners @parinarain @kaz11283 @charmed-asylum

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girlsbtrs · 3 years

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An Interview with PLEXXAGLASS

Written by Olivia Khiel. Graphic by James N Grey.

Non-binary dark pop artist PLEXXAGLASS has found their identity and carved out their own space in the music world. With the pandemic putting things on hold, they took to TikTok, reaching a new community of queer fans to connect with through songs like “Liar” and “Lilith” (the latter produced by Linkin Park’s Mike Shinoda). GBTRS spoke with Plexxaglass about collaborating with Shinoda, their gender identity journey and what they hope listeners will connect with in their music.

Girls Behind the Rock Show: Now that you have more music out, how would you describe the evolution of your sound from when you started to where you are now?

Plexxaglass: I love that question. Because it's kind of funny- I feel like I made a little bit of a circle. I say that because the first two songs that I put out- "Lament en Route" and "Liar"- they're pretty similar sonically to the songs that I'm putting out. So much so that I'm actually going to include those songs on the LP that I'll be releasing, tentatively in October. There's an interesting little gap between those first two songs, and then I put out three other songs that was like my experimental phase. I'm always having fun, but I was trying some different things. I'm happy that I did that and there were two music videos that came out of that cycle or phase. Those songs are "Dead-Eyed Monsters" and "Ana Thema". But I feel like I found my way back to what I found initially, which is really interesting and fun to realize now.

GBTRS: What's the story behind your latest singles? What was it like collaborating with Mike Shinoda on "Lilith"?

Plexxaglass: "Lilith" was a half-finished song honestly- maybe even a quarter-finished song when I even got in touch with Mike. That happened so serendipitously-I had a listener who was also a regular viewer of my Twitch channel and a huge Linkin Park and Shinoda fan in general who hit me up on Instagram and was like, 'Mike Shinoda is producing independent artists' tracks, you should totally submit'.

I submitted what I had of "Lilith" at the time, which was only a verse and the hook. It was a song that I loved and I knew that I wanted to be finished. I'm not one of those musicians that can just be like, 'alright, I'm gonna write a song today'. I really have to be called by the Muses or some shit. I have to be very inspired. But when Mike reached out to me, that was incentive and inspiration enough. I think when I was sitting down to finish it, I finished in maybe 20 minutes. That's just how it happens sometimes. When it's there, it's there and I finish songs really quickly. The process of working with Mike was amazing, and him and his team told me in the beginning that it was going to be pretty hands off on my part. I knew going in that I was gonna have to take it or leave it, which was sort of scary. I was like, oh shit, what if I don't like it? Am I gonna have to tell Mike Shinoda that I don't want to release the work that he did on my track? Oh my god, that's so scary. But no, of course, he's just so versatile. He really is a musician's musician, and he just gets music in general- doesn't matter what genre it is. I believe my song is the one that he finished the fastest, which is very flattering. It made me feel like it was just very ready. He didn't really have to do too much to it. It was a really, really cool experience that I just will cherish forever and ever and ever.

GBTRS: The song came out beautifully so it's great that things worked out so well.

Plexxaglass: Yeah! And the inspiration behind that one- I wrote it out of a fascination with the second season of The Handmaid's Tale. I found that dynamic so fascinating. I find women or femme-presenting people who [are] in a marginalized group who buys into very oppressive religious practices horrifying and fascinating at the same time. That was the inspiration behind writing that and really sitting with wondering if there's ever an awakening with those people. That was really the basis for that whole song.

GBTRS: You've gotten to collab with Mike Shinoda, but is there anyone else on your list that you'd love to be in the studio with in the future?

Plexxaglass: Oh god, yeah. So many. Right off the top of my head...I love Bishop Briggs, I love Dermot Kennedy, Bon Iver, Annie from St. Vincent, Florence Welch. Those are the big ones. I would die happy if I ever got to collaborate with any of them. That would be amazing.

GBTRS: What else do you find yourself drawing inspiration from these days?

Plexxaglass: Up until this point, it's been very autobiographical. It's been very much things that have happened in my life. I am trying to get away from that because I'm somebody who writes more somber music. I have some anthemic stuff that's more uplifting, but it is dark pop. I am at a point in my life where I'm generally- I'm mentally ill- but I'm generally a happy person. There's not a lot of dramatic tragedy going on in my life at 30 anymore. I'm trying to write a little more abstractly these days, but the themes that seem to always reoccur are very social justice motivated. Writing about mental illness and mental health are all themes that I tend to write about over and over again in different ways.

GBTRS: You've been very vocal and open about your gender identity and that's very important to so many people who are looking to find themselves in the people that they listen to. Do you have any advice for people who are struggling with that, or even advice for creatives who are in the industry who are working through that as well?

Plexxaglass: So my coming out as non-binary is still honestly pretty new. I came out publicly about it a little over a year ago. It's something that I always knew, but growing up we just didn't have the language for it. I didn't really know why I felt so out of place and that it felt like such a struggle to present as feminine as possible so as not to feel like I was an outsider. I spent many years trying very hard to conform.

I think a lot of it was literature that talked about neo-pronouns [that] was something that happened for me that was really an eye-opener. I knew at that point that there were people who used they/them pronouns [and] identified as non-binary, but for some reason, it didn't really click until a book called Black Sun. They have a character that uses neo-pronouns. It just really slapped me in the face.

I'm really lucky. My friends and family have been almost apathetic about it- like 'that totally makes sense'. The other thing that really helped me was honestly TikTok as well. There is a large trans and non-binary community on TikTok. That was where I really found community, because it was scary to me, because I have conformed for so long. Being a woman was something that I made a very clear part of my identity for so long, that I was scared to lose that community.

I would just say to anyone who is afraid of that: anyone who doesn't still want to welcome you in their space isn't a person you want in your life anyway. I've been lucky that I haven't really had a lot of that. It was a struggle to let go of that. After I came out publicly, I was looking through my closet and I have all of these shirts that say Girl Club and Badass Woman [and] all of these because I was trying so hard. It was difficult to let go of that and come to terms with the fact that it really never was me- it was a mask that I was putting on to feel included and normal.

GBTRS: Do you have a song in your catalog that particularly resonates with you?

Plexxaglass: There's a song that's coming out in August. It's the last single off of this record [and] it's called "Tall". It is about being a trauma survivor- my trauma- and just a rallying cry for trauma survivors in general. I have put out little teasers of it on TikTok and it does seem like it's really resonating with people, which is very exciting. But out of the catalog of songs that I have out currently, the song "Liar"...it's kind of similar in tone. I wrote it after I was diagnosed Bipolar II. It's a song that's very clearly about mental health struggles and I think anyone who does struggle with depression really does relate to that song. That song was the one that really gifted me listeners from TikTok. So that's a song I'll always cherish for many, many reasons, but it has definitely brought me my little music family.

GBTRS: Now that you're starting to connect even more with your listeners, is there anything specific that you hope people take away from your music when they hear you for the first time?

Plexxaglass: I think, like most people, I wanted to create a little community, and I do feel like I'm finally getting to a point where I'm doing that with my music and connecting people and their experiences.

GBTRS: Now that things are starting to move forward, what's coming up for you?

Plexxaglass: I want to get back to playing shows. I definitely want to pair a show with the release of the record, so I'm hoping I'm going to book some shows for the fall. Get back into rehearsals with a band and get that going and just keep writing and coming up with new material for the next wave of music.

GBTRS: Is there anything else that you want people to know about you or your music, or is there anything that you wish you got to talk about more that you might not get asked?

Plexxaglass: Wow, good question. I think a lot of people don't realize that musicians- especially independent artists- this is this is our small business. It takes a lot of work, obviously, it takes talent and patience, but it takes money. That's why they're there are gaps in time of when I put music out, because sometimes I just legitimately can't afford to- which is sad, I wish that the US had more support for artists like I know other countries do- I know that the UK is really good about grant opportunities for their artists out there.

I know that people are happy to consume music, but I think people don't realize- especially in the independent side of things- how hard it is to be a musician who's trying to make it in this country. I appreciate everyone who has ever just randomly sent me like $2 on PayPal. It means so much to me because it means that they get that and I think that is something really special and cool about the family that I'm building with my music because they think that they really see me and they appreciate the work. It's people who genuinely want to be involved in my work, and that is something I've never experienced before until the past year or two. That's awesome because myself and my producer, Kevin...we love this project to death. It's awesome to see response from people who love it just as much as we do.

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mcmansionhell · 5 years

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The Brutalism Post, Part One: Introduction

This is part one of a five-part post about Brutalism.

University of Massachusetts at Dartmouth campus by Paul Rudolph. Photo via Library of Congress

No style of architecture so passionately divides even the most good-natured and level-headed people as Brutalism. The discourse surrounding Brutalism being “good” or “bad” is fierce and polemical. The “for” crowd lobbies on both aesthetic grounds – posting pictures of incredible and obscure structures and saying “I mean LOOK at this” – as well as political ones, citing in particular, how Brutalism was used to house thousands of people during the postwar period.

On the other hand, the “against” crowd brings up the failed urbanism of Le Corbusier that gave us the freeways and slum clearance that split and displaced entire swaths of city fabric, proclaiming that only architects or architecture enthusiasts like Brutalism, and that this is a testament to how out of touch they are with everyday people. “If you had to live or work in these buildings,” they say, “you’d feel differently.”

Unité d'Habitation by Le Corbusier. Photo by Thomas Nemeskeri, via Flickr (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)

I’ve been a spectator to this debate since I first lurked in the Skyscraper City forums as a high school freshman, ten years ago, when Brutalism itself sparked the interest in architecture that brings me here today. I have, as they say, heard both sides, and when asked to pick one, my response is unsatisfying. Though my personal aesthetic tastes fall on the side of “Brutalism is good,” I think the actual answer is it’s deeply, deeply complicated.

Still, what is it about Brutalism that makes it so divisive? Why does a short-lived substyle of modern architecture elicit such vehement passion in so many people? What does it even mean for a style of architecture to be “good” or “bad”? You can see why I’m drawn to finally sitting down and penning this series, which has been simmering at the back of my mind since I started McMansion Hell three years ago. (By the way, Happy Birthday to this blog!!!)

Brutalism has a special way of inspiring us to ask big and difficult questions about architecture. “Is Brutalism good?” is really a question of “is any kind of architecture good?” - is architecture itself good? And what do we mean by good? Are we talking about mere aesthetic merits? Or is it more whether or not a given work of architecture satisfies the purpose for which it was built? Can architecture be morally good? Is there a right or wrong way to make, or interpret, a building?

Ferrier Estate, a now-demolished social housing complex in South London. Photo by Tim Slessor via Flickr (CC BY-NC 2.0)

I have bad news for you: the answers to all of these questions are complicated, nuanced, and unsatisfying. In today’s polemical and deeply divided world of woke and cancelled, nuance has gotten a bad rap, having been frequently misused by those acting in bad faith to create blurred lines in situations where answers to questions of morality are, in reality, crystal clear. This is not my intention here.

For centuries, the philosophical discipline of aesthetics has tried in vain to articulate some kind of clearly defined standard by which we can delineate whether or not a work of art is good, bad, moral or amoral. Architecture makes this even more complicated because unlike literature, painting, music, or art, we have to live, work, and exist in architecture. Not only does the question of whether or not we can separate the art from the artist exist in architecture, so to do questions of whether or not we can separate the building from the politics, from the culture, from the time period, from the urbanism, from the socioeconomic system, from the entire contents of everyday life in which it exists.

Orange County Government Center, Perspective Drawing, by Paul Rudolph. Photo via the Library of Congress.

Existential questions aside, there are other reasons to write about Brutalism. First, while we’ve been hemming and hawing about it online, we’ve lost priceless examples of the style to either demolition or cannibalistic renovation, including Paul Rudolph’s elegant Orange County Government Center, Bertrand Goldberg’s dynamic Prentice Women’s Hospital in Chicago, and the iconic Trinity Square, Gateshead complex, famous for the role it played in the movie Get Carter. My hope is that by bringing up the nuances of Brutalism before a broad and diverse audience, other buildings on the chopping block might be spared.

On an even broader note, I think Brutalism is worth writing about simply because a lot of people are rightly confused as to what it even is. The common practice of identifying Brutalism by the presence of a material - reinforced concrete - too broadly defines a style that belongs to a specific era and architectural praxis. There are so many buildings and styles called Brutalist that are not Brutalist that I’ve devoted the first two installments of this series to the subject “What Brutalism Is Not,” followed, of course, by “What is Brutalism?” The goal is that these two essays will be educational and interesting (with the added bonus of providing the reader with an arsenal of information that will make them as insufferable at dinner parties as I am.)

The third part in this series is devoted to the people of Brutalism - the architects, politicians, planners, writers, and philosophers, who signed their names to an architectural movement that spanned the globe. Finally, the last installment gathers all this information together and answers the question we’ve all been waiting for: is Brutalism good?

The Kyoto International Conference Center, designed by Sachio Otani. Photo by Chris Guy, via Flickr. (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)

This is a series on Brutalism, but Brutalism itself demands a level of inquiry that goes beyond defining a style. Really, this is a series about architecture, and its relationship to the world in which it exists. Architects, as workers, artists, and ideologues, may dream up a building on paper and, with the help of laborers, erect it in the material world, but this is only the first part of the story. The rest is written by us, the people who interact with architecture as shelter; as monetary, cultural, and political capital; as labor; as an art; and, most broadly, as that which makes up the backdrop of our beautiful, complicated human lives.

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If you like this post, and want to see more like it, consider supporting me on Patreon!

There is a whole new slate of Patreon rewards, including Good House of the Week, Crowdcast streaming, and bonus essays!

Not into recurring donations or bonus content? Consider the tip jar! Or,Check out the McMansion Hell Store ! 100% of the proceeds from the McMansion Hell store go to charity!

Copyright Disclaimer: All photographs are used in this post under fair use for the purposes of education, satire, and parody, consistent with 17 USC §107. Manipulated photos are considered derivative work and are Copyright © 2019 McMansion Hell. Please email [email protected] before using these images on another site. (am v chill about this)

#architecture #design #brutalism #brutalist architecture #architecture history #architecture theory #aesthetics #modernism

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skookworks · 4 years

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Gallery: 2019 Daily Sketches 121-150

Another thirty of last year’s Daily Half Hour Sketches, now in one handy gallery.

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Story Seed #52 A Stone in the River

Most crime fighters and/or superheroes are reactive. Mostly they take action after a crime has been committed either to bring villains to justice or, on the more antihero side, get revenge for the victims. There are a few stories of characters or organizations that stop crimes before they occur, they catch criminals before they can become criminals, they punish the guilty before they can be guilty of a crime. Usually the organizations manage this by either having members with precognitive abilities or computers with the same abilities. Eunice Stone can’t see the future. She simply knows how to read people. If she spends enough time around someone she’ll be able to predict how that person is likely to react in any situation.

She doesn’t see good or bad people. Eunice sees life as a game. She sees human beings as mostly unaware entities trapped in massive systems, reacting to outside stimuli and stuck in lives that, too often, spiral further out of control. So, as a child, Eunice set out, not to fix the systems – she knew that was too big a task – but to redirect the people who are trapped in them. A suggestion here. A secret favor there. Redirecting an angry man’s attention at someone who deserves his wrath rather than the family he’s been taking it out on. Showing the unrepentant thief better targets than his neighbors.

Eunice becomes a fixer. The smarter and more aware people around her, both criminals and legitimate businesspeople, notice what she does and try to enlist her in improving their situations. And she does. Mostly to the advantage of everyone in a situation. She makes connections. She points out solutions. She goes around her clients selfish desires and finds points them at satisfying ends. Eunice knows that there is always a win win scenario.

And for those who refuse to play her way? Those who can only win by making someone lose? Eunice will take them out of the game.

Recommendation

The Kickstarter for Growing Up / Overnight ends on the 30th. Please support this project! Thank you!

Local News

Life at the Post Office has been tiring. Last week was my Long Week, six days in a row, every day with overtime. There are a lot of carriers on vacation at the moment so a lot of routes need coverage. I volunteer for a desired route at the beginning of my shift in order to avoid being mandated to carry a route I don’t particularly like. This will make for a larger paycheck but currently I’m only noticing a more tired body.

I’ve read the news about the Postmaster General’s sabotage of USPS. I haven’t noticed any unique new problems. Upper management is doing more micromanaging but they do that every few months anyway so, if I hadn’t been hearing about the new PMG, I’d just assume regular management stupidity. Being a letter carrier is a job. I’m past the point of feeling any particular loyalty to a job. Jobs don’t love the people who do them and upper management in most businesses will make decisions that poorly affect the people who have to follow the new directives. If upper management consulted the workers before implementing a new procedure that would be unusual.

So I do my best to put my emotional and creative energy into activities where I can have some fun and some control. This last week Sarah has been good at reminding me to get some drawing in after work, regardless of how tired I am. Just 15 minutes can improve my mood.

In the mornings I generally do computer work. Photoshop. Writing here. I have now have two online stores. One at Zazzle. Another at Redbubble.

The first week that I was putting together my Zazzle store I made a lot of products. Unfortunately they didn’t all become publically available quickly. My first 29 items appeared promptly enough. Then, from Saturday to Thursday, nothing loaded. I looked at the Zazzle forums and checked with customer service and got that slow load times during busy periods could be expected. By Wednesday I was feeling a bit itchy so I decided to check out the other POD sites that I’d seen recommended.

I started setting up a store at Redbubble. I’d only set up a profile but not loaded any art when Zazzle’s public links resolved and the 50 products I’d been waiting on became available. So I continued making stuff at Zazzle. I decided to just make one or two things a day. Partly so that they’d load in a timely fashion and partly so I would spend some time figuring out best marketing practices. And I got a commission to do illustrations for an RPG supplement about pirates.

Redbubble is persistent though. I got emails reminding me to finish setting up my store. So, what the hell, I figured I might as well have two stores, one Zazzler, one Redbubbler. Zazzle had been recommended as a general, less focussed site, Redbubble as an artist focused site. There’s definitely a difference between them.

With Zazzle, you choose a product – a cup, a t-shirt, a puzzle – upload an image and match it to the product. With Redbubble you start by uploading an image and the site helpfully puts it on EVERYTHING. For a few of their products that means you have to do some repositioning to make the image look good. Most of the time the fit is great. Zazzle seems to be the best platform for smaller images, the sort of things that I’ve been putting on cups and mugs. Redbubble seems to be a better platform for larger, more complicated images. So those are good reasons to maintain two stores.

Zazzle provides code that lets me post individual items or collections to this website or other social media sites. That’s cool.

Nasty Women Rise

by Skookworks

Redbubble lets me put a sample store onto this website. Check it out – new RBExternalPortfolio('www.redbubble.com', 'skookworks', 4, 4).renderIframe();

Thank you for dropping by. I hope that your week provides you with more happy moments than otherwise. Look out for each other. See you next week!

Tuesday Night Party Club #33 Gallery: 2019 Daily Sketches 121-150 Another thirty of last year's Daily Half Hour Sketches, now in one handy gallery.

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hallowedhuntress · 5 years

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Hey! I am a Volturi S T A N and I really enjoy how cultured they are. They’ve had enough time to study every era in art intensively, and I wonder what their favorite would be. From Ancient to Romanticism, what era in art is the favorite of each Volturi guard?

Welcome fellow stan! Sorry this took longer than expected! I’ve taken a lot of art history courses so I probably gave this more thought than necessary! Also I went more with art styles rather than time periods, because that just seemed to make more sense to me. Hope that’s okay!

Aro - You’re asking Aro to choose just one art style? Not going to happen. He’s collected art from everywhere and everywhen will insist that all of it has equal artistic merit. Yes even that broken new-age art mobile made of paper mache and plastic straws stuffed in the corner behind one of Botticelli’s angel paintings.

Marcus - Without Didyme, he’s got a maudlin streak. So he’s quite into vanitas paintings, and Gothic Architecture. Mostly, he prefers history to art, however.

Caius - He prefers art that is technically impressive and realistic as possible. For this reason, Realism has a strong appeal. Scientific drawings also fascinate him. He’s got a large collection of “undiscovered” Michelangelo’s. He also prefers technically impressive Baroque music. And minimalist architecture. But he has absolutely no understanding of or interest in heavily abstracted styles, like Impressionism, Cubism, and thinks most modern art is a phenomenal waste of time. It’s his most common argument with Aro, outside of official business.

Sulpicia - Has a strong preference for female artists, especially those who depicted women being violent. Style isn’t especially important. Her favorites include Minoan bullfighters, a lot of angry women in the 1970s/1960s and Artemesia Gentileschi. She’s also big into fashion and makeup. A choker of pearls, blood-red lipstick and eyeliner sharp enough to kill a man are her go-tos.

Athenodora - She’s more into poetry than pictures and sculptures. She especially likes poetry that’s flowery, but has a rigid structure. Free-form poetry is for the weak. Haikus, Greek Dramas, and iambic pentameter are where it’s at. She’s also got a fondness for plays, Shakespeare, of course, but also Opera, Kabuki theater, and modern musicals. She drags Caius along whenever she can, and he not-so-secretly enjoys it.

Didyme - (She’s still alive, dammit). Art to her is about emotion. If it doesn’t make her feel something, why make it? She especially loves the colors in Impressionism. But also has a fondness for abstract geometric patterns and loud, splashy Modernist art. Like her brother, her tastes clash horribly, and any room decorated by her is an absolute eyesore. Marcus (who thinks it’s kind of adorable) is good-natured about it. And he’s a bit less grim with her around.

Alec - That picture of George Washington riding a T-Rex and wielding a light-saber while wearing 3-D glasses just about sums up what Alec likes. He’s 12, so add enough flames, guns, robots and lasers and he’ll love it.

Jane - Medieval art. It’s what she grew up with. But it’s also pretty grotesque at times (we’ve all seen those medieval art memes, right), and strikingly pretty on other occasions. Which suits her. Also, all the paintings/tapestries depicting witch burnings are good motivation.

Heidi - She’s got a sense of humor, so she likes the Rococo Era. Not so much the architecture styles, or the dresses–that’s more Aro’s speed–but she likes how most people look at the paintings (like this one) from the era and just see a bunch of fancily dressed people and completely miss all the innuendos. They certainly go over Felix and Demetri’s heads, and that’s the way she likes it.

Demetri - Art Deco. It’s clean, sharp, angular, stylish. He loves it as an art style, as an architecture style, and if he could get away with it, he’d wear 1920s tuxes all the time too.

Felix - Roman art and especially Roman Architecture is Felix’s favorite. So stately and strong–like he is. He kind of wishes the Volturi fortress was built a little bit more like a Roman temple than a labyrinth of sewers, but he gets why it has to be that way.

Renata - Music is more her forte than painting or sculpture. And, while it’s hard to compete with Aro, who can learn new instruments just by touching a virtuoso, she’s gained proficiency in the harp, the flute, the cello, and the piano. She also sings. But never anywhere she thinks someone else can hear her. Of course, thanks to super-vampire hearing, they all can. And they think her singing voice is lovely. But they know she would die of embarrassment if they admitted they could hear, so they never tell her.

Corin - Prefers embroidery and hand-sewing to most other arts. She also took up knitting and crochet. And prefers to make things with flowers on them. She also likes literature, especially those by women authors, like the The Tale of Genji, the works of Jane Austen, Eileen Chang, and many anonymous women writers.

Santiago - Dadaism, Surealism and especially Salvador Dali, whose political paintings greatly influenced his country while he was human.

Chelsea - Art has never been the reason why she’s part of the guard. To her it’s eh… okay. Which was always a source of frustration for Aro when he tried to pamper her with gifts. “What do you mean you ‘don’t like paintings’? You cannot simply dislike all paintings?” But it got even worse when Afton arrived.

Afton - Doesn’t understand art at all, and it’s one of the many reasons Aro hates him. You see, Afton was born after the invention of the camera and thinks realistic art is a waste of time (why not just take a picture?) and abstract art is just pointless splatters that any child could replicate. Oh, and cartoons are only for children. All of which he’s managed to get Chelsea to believe too.

Yeah….

He does appreciate practical art like pottery. But he refuses to call it “art” and insists it’s like furniture, which he claims is somehow different. (hint: it’s not!)

#volturi #volturi headcanons #twilight #twilight saga #the whole gang is here #aro volturi #marcus volturi #Caius Volturi #afton volturi

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deborahdeshoftim5779 · 4 years

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Return to Writing

Isn’t it strange that every time I fall off the tracks with writing, everything else falls out of bed as well? Not really. Whenever I maintain a regular writing habit, whether by hand, on mywriteclub, or on Tumblr, I am much calmer and much more determined to get tasks done.

When it comes to writing on the computer, I love the satisfaction of watching my daily word count grow in leaps and bounds. When it comes to writing by hand, I get the satisfaction of seeing neat pages of cursive, which are a pleasure to read.

At the moment, I use my Tumblr blogs more frequently for posting interesting videos I have seen. Over the last couple of months, I have brought back more writing posts, where I discuss a range of topics. This is necessary for a diversity of output, as well as helping me to meet a daily word count.

Given my aforementioned frustration with a lack of reading (which causes my knowledge to stagnate and dwindle), I intend on reading into several topics and writing on those. As I study French and German (and have other languages planned), I can further diversify my output with foreign language posts, too.

Subjects that I have currently covered, or will cover in the future:

1)- Art: I reblog so many brilliant paintings, particularly from Russian artists such as Ivan Aivazovski, and Giovanni Antonio Canal. But simply reblogging doesn’t help meet my goal of regular drawing practice, or even studying more about art in general. Rather, I should study these paintings in more detail, and use the method that countless artists used to learn: copy. I cannot reproduce the entire work, but I can definitely practice a technique here, an object there. As mentioned before, art is absolutely essential to my personal, academic, social, and business-related development.

2)- Foreign Languages: self-explanatory. My main languages are French and German, which I use in the personal, academic, and business-related sphere on a daily basis. I intend to post lengthier posts in French and German, in the hope that native speakers will help me improve my expression. I know that I still rely on anglicisms and need to expand my vocabulary. This means interacting with other foreign language posts on Tumblr, of which there are many! The nature of my foreign language study is such that I use French and German to study other topics, ensuring that I use the language regularly. This includes watching videos.

3)- Fanfiction: I had a moratorium on fanfiction, which yawned over months and months. Some of this was motivated by personal events during the latter half of 2019, but the decisions I made on the back of those events have done me no good whatsoever. Consequently, I am miles behind with any form of creative writing-- so much so, that I had to begin a new writing challenge in preparation for CampNaNo in April. Like many others, I have to kill this idea that fanfiction is “less important” or “just a hobby”. In fact, fanfiction has been the primary means by which I improved my own writing. Reading other people’s works has shaped my own thought and pushed me to produce my own works.

4)- Writing: My life’s work is writing, which makes my inconsistency on this account all the more baffling. Procrastination and anxiety can kill good habits, so be warned. I don’t refer to writing as a “past-time, hobby, interest”. I write every single day, because I have to. When I write, I grow calmer, more motivated, learn more, remember more, want to read more, develop as a person, get more jobs, and so on. The benefits are too numerous for this Tumblr post. All aspect of the writing craft fascinate me, so I will interact with and reblog any post connected to the writing craft. At the moment, nonfiction forms my main interest: journal entries and meta analysis appearing most often here. However, for my work, I need more practice with essay writing, analysis, and reviews. I still retain a love for fiction, particularly crime fiction.

5)- Management: Anything to do with time-management, organisation, scheduling, objectives, efficient work, conquering procrastination, and so on. I have to remind myself time and time again of what is necessary for succeeding with any goal. At the moment, single-tasking and focusing on tasks, rather than pushing them aside, is my main goal. I will be writing about my adventures with management more frequently to encourage myself and others. Once again, Tumblr is a treasure trove of advice and ideas on time-management and organisation, so I can minimise procrastination as well as enjoy trawling social media by researching useful topics and making notes by hand.

6)- Music: This one is a no-brainer. I have not done much reading into the composers, something I noticed when researching French Baroque composers. I think that topic in itself deserves more discussion. At the moment, I post a lot of videos of excellent music I have heard, with a little commentary. The reason my commentaries are so skinny are because it’s been years since I did any wide reading into music theory, the composers, and instruments. I have not been updating my practice journal either, with regards to the piano. The last entries date from February 2019, I think. Music is one of those areas which I miss when I have not approached for a while. When I return, I berate myself for not having kept this up on a regular basis. I have Christoph Wolff’s Bach essays on my bookshelf at the moment, unread. Time to change that!

7)- Healthy Eating: I am making baby steps in eating more vegetables, pulses, and whole grain foods. It would be better to draw inspiration from cookbooks and other posts from Tumblr users to ensure that I control my eating habits. For example, the bar of Galaxy Cookie Crumble chocolate I just ate instead of preparing meals in advance has not helped my waist or my long-term health. The number of healthy snacks available, as well as delicious healthy dishes completely cancel out the laziness of buying snacks (and the money burned buying total rubbish). I also love the aesthetic of good food, and the accompanying social benefits from eating proper meals. These will really liven up my dashboard.

8)- Ballet & Exercise: At 24, I’m too old to study ballet intensely, but I can certainly benefit from the exercise and discipline required for this discipline. Don’t expect any insightful posts into the art: I am a mere (unfit) spectator who admires these women for their grace and inhuman strength. I have already downloaded some pictures of ballet exercises that anyone can complete, and have also subscribed to a Youtube channel (German) which teaches ballet. At the moment, I try to get at least 6000 steps a day, but this has to be supplemented with muscle exercises. Walking isn’t going to shed the extra fat on my stomach or my butt (I really feel those extra pounds when running up the stairs!). So expect more writing on exercises that I have practiced and will be practicing on a regular basis. As someone with endometriosis, regular and strenuous exercise (as well as reducing processed foods and excess dairy) is crucial to managing the condition. My last spell was particularly painful again, after two relatively mild months.

If you have had a hiatus from writing-- or if you are better than me and write regularly-- feel free to interact with the upcoming posts (or poke me via my “Ask Me” question box if I slack off, as may well happen).

Keep writing!

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errgative · 5 years

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Japanese Literature Essentials

This is a list of five classic Japanese books and short stories that I feel are essential reads for anyone interested in Japan. I’ve chosen these books not only because they are excellent literature in their own right, but because they offer unique insight into Japanese culture and showcase the differences between Japanese and Western literature. Whether or not you are studying Japanese, I think you can gain something valuable by reading them. I know there are many great books I’ve left off this list, but Japanese literature is just too expansive to be summarized in one post - feel free to reblog with your own favorites if I didn’t include them!

Murasaki Shikibu: The Tale of Genji (源氏物語)

Recommended Translation: Royall Tyler

The Tale of Genji is one of the most iconic and foundational works in the history of Japanese literature. Written at the peak of the Heian period, it combined aspects of Chinese literature with traditional forms of Japanese storytelling, resulting in an 1100 page (written almost entirely in kana!!) epic that follows Genji through his adventures and romantic pursuits while giving insight into Heian court life. I feel that Tyler’s translation brings the beautiful Classical Japanese prose to life while preserving the original aesthetics of the tale.

The author, Murasaki Shikibu, was a lady-in-waiting at the Imperial Court. Although women were traditionally not taught Chinese, she was able to study it due to her immense talent. Her mastery of literature is shown in that Genji was greatly praised even at the time of its release, despite her being a woman.

Soseki Natsume: Kokoro (こころ)

Recommended Translation: Edwin McClellan

Soseki is often regarded as the founder of modern Japanese literature. His works are informed by his life experiences, as well as issues salient to Meiji-era Japan, such as the westernization of Japan and conflicts between modern and traditional culture.

Kokoro takes place during the transition out of the Meiji era. The central characters are a young student and the man he idolizes, called Sensei. Through the young man’s relationship with his parents and Sensei, Soseki explores the boundaries between urban and rural values, as well as what it means to receive an education. The third and final part is in the form of a letter from Sensei, and deals with themes of guilt, isolation, and the egoism of youth, as the reality behind the student’s idealization of him is revealed.

In the interest of full disclosure, this is my favorite book on this list and definitely in my top five books of all time - it has only a spare, basic plot, but manages to convey the feeling of an entire nation in a time of transition, while not sacrificing beautiful language or complex, nuanced characters.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke: Hell Screen (地��変)

Recommended Translation: I actually don’t know who translated the version I’ve read, since it’s a pdf that doesn’t include the title page. Contact me if you want it, or pick a translation that sounds good to you.

Akutagawa was one of the most influential Japanese writers of the twentieth century. Japan’s most prestigious literary award, the Akutagawa Prize, is named after him. He is probably best known outside of Japan for his story Rashomon, which inspired Kurosawa Akira’s film of the same name. Much of his work deals with what he perceives as the corruption and spiritual anxiety of modern life, as well as themes of obsession, isolation, and illusion.

Hell Screen is a short story set in an ambiguously medieval Japan, potentially the late Heian period. It centers around the painter Yoshihide, who is the finest painter in the land, but hates everything except for his art and his daughter. He is commisioned by a lord to create a screen painted with the Buddhist hell. Through Yoshihide, Akutagawa explores the nature of artistic obsession and the conflict between art and moral behaviour, all while creating a sense of uncertainty around the truth by choosing an unnamed courtier who is devoted to the lord as a narrator. The end result is a wonderfully disturbing story that subtly critiques modern ways of thinking in the guise of a Buddhist parable.

Warning for implied rape.

Mishima Yukio: Forbidden Colors (禁色)

Recommended Translation: Alfred H. Marks

One of the most well-known postwar Japanese authors, Mishima wrote about themes such as beauty, gender, sexual desire, and patriotism, and his work has been equally praised and criticized for its long, flowing descriptions and decadent prose. Today, Mishima is known almost as much for his gruesome death by ritual suicide as for his literary accomplishments.

Some of you might wonder why I chose to include Forbidden Colors on this list rather than the better known and less disturbing Confessions of a Mask. While it’s true that both of them feature gay protagonists and involve similar themes, I feel that the viscerally disgusting nature of Forbidden Colors makes it a much more powerful read. It is by no means enjoyable, essentially being 400 pages of nothing but hatred and vitriol. Both the protagonist, Yuichi, and his ‘mentor,’ Shunsuke, are amoral, manipulative, and hopelessly misogynistic. The plot is based around Shunsuke’s quest to get revenge on the entire female population by using Yuichi’s good looks as his weapon. Yuichi starts out as somewhat naïve and afraid, thinking he’s the only man to ever be gay, but begins to become more and more like Shunsuke, adopting his misogynistic habits and using his experiences in Tokyo’s gay scene to learn how to weaponize his beauty. The horrifying story of what Yuichi does and experiences provides a harsh, angry critique of Japanese society without any moments of hope or levity.

While I do highly recommend this book, please know that it is highly disturbing and if you cannot read books that contain rape/dubious consent, graphic violence, extreme misogyny, or homophobia, it might be a good idea to skip it.

Enchi Fumiko: Masks (女面)

Recommended Translation: Juliet Carpenter

Enchi is probably the most well-known female Japanese writer from the Showa period. She drew attention to the plight of women in an increasingly militaristic and patriarchal Japan, and achieved success after World War II despite the male-dominated Japanese literary establishment. Her works explore gender and the nature of power.

I had a hard time deciding whether to include Masks or The Waiting Years; both are powerful explorations of female forms of power, and both are quintessentially Japanese in nature. Ultimately Masks won out because of its direct ties to The Tale of Genji, which opened this list. Masks draws on countless layers of Japanese culture, from Genji to traditional shamanistic practices to Noh theatre and art. The story is told from the perspective of men, but as the novel goes on, it becomes clear that the men are being manipulated by the crafty Mieko, whose schemes quickly ensnare the narrators. Central to the story is an essay Mieko wrote on the role of the Rokujo Lady in Genji. Ultimately, Masks is about power, how it can be subverted, and the results of those subversions, while simultaneously exploring the nature of gender, revenge, and legacy. It’s hard to summarize the genius of this book - the way Enchi weaves together differing sources and plot threads into a cohesive, indictive whole - in one paragraph, but I hope you all will read it.

Once again, I’m including warnings, this time for graphic sex, dubious consent (in that one party does not know who the other is), graphic descriptions of blood, and death.

More Recommendations:

Soseki Natsume: I am a Cat; Botchan

Akutagawa Ryunosuke: Spinning Gears; Kappa

Oe Kenzaburo: The Silent Cry; Hiroshima Notes

Enchi Fumiko: The Waiting Years

Tanizaki Junichiro: Naomi

Kawabata Yasunari: The Old Capital; Thousand Cranes

Mishima Yukio: Death in Midsummer - Onnagata, Patriotism

Murakami Ryu: Almost Transparent Blue

Abe Kobo: The Woman in the Dunes

Yoshimoto Banana: Kitchen

#japanese #literature #bookblr #languages #litblr #japanese literature #japanese langblr #book review #langblr #mine

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im-cre8tive-blog · 4 years

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Interviews

DVC Student: Jojo

What does design mean to you?

Design is everything to me.

What do you believe in as a designer?

I believe in design that makes sense and is as communitive as a language.

What are your goals?

I want to do everything I possibly can while I’m on this earth. My current short-term goals are moving to NYC after graduation and hoping for the best in my post-grad career. I also will be (hopefully) attending NYU for my MA in Visual Arts Administration. I eventually want to design with fashion brands and working in ad agencies to prevent racially tone-deaf campaigns and create REAL diversity and inclusion in the design world.

What is your mission as a designer?

Refer to question 3 lolll

How will you benefit most in this program?

Not sure I benefited from this program design wise. It has definitely helped me realize that I have an obligation to design with intent and push buttons people really don’t like being pushed. This program has made me realize that liberal designers are to be side eyed at all times.

What do you wish you had known before going into the DVC program?

Nothing worth mentioning.

Are there resources you feel are important to be exposed to as a design student? If so, what are they?

Many resources like Microagressions 101, Intro to How to Be a Designer and Take Criticisms. But in all seriousness, these students need to take diversity classes.

How do you think your professors can help you become a stronger designer in the program?

Lisa Moline and Adream Blair were the only instructors that had a bit of value to me. They were understanding, helped me outside of design classes and encouraged me to be the best I could be.

What are your hopes, dreams, and fears when it comes to being a DVC student at UWM?

N/A

Is there anything you need, want, or wish to be successful in the design program?

N/A

What do you stand for?

Racial and Gender equality for black and brown men, women, and the LGBTQIA.

Why does it matter?

Because it’s important.

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DVC Student: Farouk

Design to me is a form of expression that’s contained and more on the professional side

I believe as a designer I should be able to create and manipulate simple ideas and make them better than they already were

my goals are to be successful in life and to change peoples lives w whatever I create with my art.

my mission as a designer (I don’t really know, I haven’t really thought about it)

I will benefit most in this program because I will be learning things I don’t know about and how to better shape myself as a designer

I wish I had known about the flexibility of the classes I can take because I just have a certain amount of classes in my head that I am meant to take

resources include the adobe creative cloud (I don’t really understand this question)

my professors can be better listeners and really understand where I am coming from as an artist because I am not too familiar with what the norms of being a designer might be

a fear would be being too expressive and being overwhelmed with my ideas as a designer because I like to think and I like to be as expressive as I can be and I feel like designers sometimes can be restrictive and too simple

my hopes are to be able to be as expressive as I want to be while also being a designer so I can do me and also do design

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DVC Graduate: Danielle Dupey

How has the program helped you out post graduation?

Going through any branding process from beginning to end, and how each part is equally important and shouldn’t be overlooked. Thinking outside the box is a huge aspect; you don’t have to be new, you just have to be different. Obviously, I wouldn’t be nearly as versed in the Adobe Suite if it weren’t for my fantastic teachers/mentors. Between learning Photoshop and Javascript, the DVC program has helped me grow my passion for design tremendously.

What's the biggest you have learned in dvc?

Design can be simple, but meaningful. How it makes people feel is one of the more important facets of design. Design impacts everyday life more than we know, and effects almost everyone.

How is the professional world different from the classroom?

Sometimes I found myself feeling crushed for time with projects in class, but that was nothing compared to a professional environment. In my experience, clients/employers want things done yesterday, everyday. There are obviously many different scenarios, but I’ve come to learn that starting with fewer design variations then choosing one direction and perfecting it has been the most consistent and successful design pathway. Also, thick skin is a must. Learn to accept and understand constructive criticism in school, because in a professional environment people will tear apart your designs without the slightest thought of the person making them. Try not to take it personally, but always have reasons to back up your case. Sometimes a little convincing is all it takes. One last thing - make connections and network. This is my biggest regret about college - the more people you know the more resources and ties you have to fantastic opportunities. You might not think someone working at a logistics company would be a good connection, but maybe they just met up with a friend from high school who is now a Creative Director looking for a new intern.

What do you do when you get stuck on a design?

I take a break, and walk away for awhile. Sometimes I'm going in circles or stuck in a box and I don’t even know it, but after some time away from the design thinking about other things I can come back with some clarity.

How do you stay creative?

Design prompts are always fun https://sharpen.design/ Otherwise perusing other designers and projects on sites like Pinterest, Dribbble, Moat.com, Logoinspirations.co, etc.

How do you stay inspired?

I’ll be honest it’s a little difficult at times; I’ll get burnt out from designing and will need a little break. After awhile, I’ll start noticing everyday things that I’ll want to change up and redesign. I always try to have a desire to make existing things better, and how that influences things I create in the future.

How do you develop your style?

Try everything out! The more mediums you practice or try out, the more you learn if you like to do those things. And if not, you can check them off your list. Some people find their niche easily or right away, and some it takes awhile. Personally, I’m still trying to find my personal style. But through trying things out, lots of practice, and a strong focus on one idea I’m getting closer to my niche.

What made you get into design?

I’ve always loved art, since I was a kid. I would always be drawing and painting, so I knew I wanted to do something with it for a career. Attending UWM gave me so many options to choose from in the art department, and even though first year classes seemed redundant, each one was a core

What are your goals?

I’d like to be the Lead Designer at a fast growing and fun company in the world of recreation, retail, or entertainment.

How do you feel about the way others will view your work?

Honestly I wonder about that all the time. You want people to love your work, and you want to be the best. But I consciously remember to try and not working

Tell me about your most favorite design moment?

I was working on a project in Experimental Typography, and our project was an interactive installation of bubble wrap typography on the streets of Milwaukee. Seeing people interact with our designs was incredible, knowing that we positively impacted their day even for just a moment felt great.

How have you been able to manage workload?

Setting a time to work on something, and when that time is up move on. If you’re on a roll that’s fine, but working on one thing forever can get you bogged down and forget about other things. If you can chip away at multiple things throughout the day by assigning them a certain time amount and in the order they need to be done then your workload will seem more manageable.

Any other advice you would give to a DVC student?

Always always always always back up your work. Invest in a hard drive and back up weekly or every other week. Ramen is great but don’t underestimate the power of a great meal, and a decent night’s sleep. It’s not “cool” to be a starving artist (literally) with no sleep. Your personal and mental health are worth more than your final projects.

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Proffesional: Sav

What should we keep in mind with working with clients?

Your time is worth money regardless of how Mandane of a task or seems to be

How. Do you keep your professionalism up?

Fake it till you make it, it’s all about the little things like business cards, a business email. But mostly it’s carrying yourself like a professional would.

How do you brand yourself?

Find the thing that is the most you, for me it’s drugstorebuddhist as a brand name, and stick to it. Also the things that you do in your services are branding too, you want your brand to be associated with good service and excellent work!

What are the 3 most important thing a designer should know?

Not every thing you do as a designer is going to make you as an artist happy, sometimes the client wants something really simple and you just go with it.

The clients are always going to want to tweak the design to death and sometimes it hurts but it’s okay!

It’s very important to keep a personal practice for yourself just for fun where you can reach those creative goals.

How have you been able to include multi-medium work in your designs?

Products! A lot a clients only think that I can offer digital label designs or tshirts but for me having a catalog of all the things I can do as a designer and an artists helps my clients, it’s like a good menu at a restaurant they always want dessert.

What can. You say about being an entrepreneur?

It’s hard! Nobody tells you that when you run a business you’re doing the work of 6 people but it’s awesome and eventually you’ll be able to hire people if that’s your goal. But it being hard doesn’t really hurt because you’re doing what you want to be doing for your business!

How is the professional world different from the classroom?

In the classroom I feel like there is a lot of critique that’s optional and you have a lot of control, a lot of the time as a designer you show them a finished product and sometimes they need something different entirely and you have to make those changes.

What do you do when you get stuck on a design?

I look through similar projects I’ve done in the past, other designers work to be inspired and generally seeing what the industry is up to or working on a different design for a bit and circling back with fresh ideas

How do you stay creative?

KEEP YOUR OWN PRACTICE ALIVE! Even if your creative energy is not in design make sure you’re doing work for yourself!

How do you stay inspired?

Honestly the energy that the clients have when they have project ideas for you and how excited they are to work with you and see your art!

How do you develop your style?

I feel like it’s years of being an artist surrounded with others in my community and pulling from all the things that I like and making them my own.

What made you get into design?

I don’t know what happened but all the sudden people who were commissioning me decided I’d be great for logos and product labels and I fell in love with the things I could do outside of my illustration background

What are your goals?

I would love to run a store front artists collective to maintain that community that often artists desperately need to keep their practice alive

How do you feel about the way others will view your work?

Nervous as all hell, hopefully that goes away sometime but I also hope it doesn’t because it makes me want to prove myself to my peers

Tell me about your most favorite design moment?

I finished a product Commission for a clients and she loved it a lot to the point of tears for me helping her Company become Something physical that she could see outside of her head

How have you been able to manage workload?

Wake up at the same time every day even though it will kill you a little bit and keep yourself on a strict schedule even if it means having to go somewhere else just to be able to work, just because you can work at home does not mean you should

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mayquita · 5 years

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Pictures of Reality (14/16)

Happy New Year everyone! Thank you so much for all your support and for continuing to give this story a chance.

Summary: Emma Swan returns to her birthplace, Storybrooke, in search of a fresh start after a life marked by abandonment and betrayal. After a year there, she finds the stability she needed and also the possibility of learning about one of her passions, photography. Killian Jones, a former British war reporter with a tragic past, establishes himself in the same town as an instructor of photography, following in the footsteps of his best friends, the Nolans. What will happen when their paths cross? Will their common passion for photography help them heal old wounds?

Rating: M (Language, mature themes, implied sex)

Warnings: Alcohol abuse, mentions of the loss of a limb in an armed conflict.

Other ships / Characters: Although, obviously, this is a cs fic, Snowing plays a major role here, mainly David. In fact, the story contains three different points of view, those of Emma, Killian and David. Also, Henry appears in the story as Regina’s adopted son but he is not Emma’s biological son.

Beta: I’d like to express my gratitude, as always, to my beta @jarienn972 I’m aware that you have had to deal with a monster of more than 100k words and English is not my mother tongue, so I value your effort even more.

Artist / art: Go visit @imagnifika’s blog and enjoy her amazing art.

Art for the prologue/ Art for chapter 1 / Art for chapter 2 and banner / Art for chapter 3/ Art for chapters 4-5 / Art for chapters 6-7/ Art for chapter 8 / Art for chapter 10 / Art for chapter 11

Special mention to @saraswans , thank you so much for your perpetual support, for believing in me when I doubted myself and for offering ideas to make this story grow.

Don’t forget to go read and enjoy the rest of the amazing csbb stories and art.

Word count: ~ 4100 (116k total in 16 chapters)

Also on (From the beginning): Ao3 / Ffnet (Current Chapter) Ao3 / Ffnet

Tumblr: Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12

What to expect from this chapter? We’ll see how the relationship between Emma and Killian develops now that there is no longer any secret between them. Besides, will Emma be able to forgive The Nolans eventually?

CHAPTER 13

Emma Swan. Storybrooke - May 6, 2018

There was something intrinsic in the fact of dating a professional photographer, any excuse was appropriate to take out the camera and portray the world through it. Whether it was walking out holding hands but stopping every few minutes to immortalize the arrival of the blossoming spring to Storybrooke. Or spending a lazy Sunday morning under the sheets of her (their) bed, taking selfies and competing for who would get the most awful grimace (he always beat her, the dork).

Other mornings, however, Killian felt an impulse of creativity that made him wake up at dawn and grab the camera to satisfy his need to make art. He always told her that she was the one to blame, that she had become his muse and source of inspiration. And that her apartment was located in one of the best places in Storybrooke, at least at that time of the day, when the sun's rays fell directly on her window and made her glow - literally — his words.

From that morning after the first time-make up night, she had learned to secretly love those days. There was no doubt that Killian had become an expert in making the most of her potential and in making her feel powerful, able to achieve whatever she set out to do, whether it was getting a good close-up in a photo or leaving all her inhibitions behind to become a sexy improvised model.

She knew that today was one of Killian's creative days when she woke up alone in bed that Sunday morning in early May.

"Good morning, love. Are you up for a photo shoot?" Killian asked from his favorite place in the room for these occasions, her (their) old armchair.

She ignored him at first, stretching arms and legs, too lazy to leave the bed just yet. Something caught her attention out of the corner of her eye though, one of his button-up shirts, the black one made of a silky fabric, hanging on the back of a chair. Suddenly, the idea of the soft fabric sliding over her naked torso was too appealing to let it pass. After all, she also had her creative side, right?

She got up right away with a new purpose in mind, grabbing the shirt on her way to the bathroom and stopping only for a second to give Killian a quick peck on the cheek. "Just wait here." She murmured as she winked at him and kept walking without waiting for his reaction.

Once in the bathroom, she put on the shirt, which by chance, matched her tiny panties in color, leaving the buttons open and the sleeves rolled up to the middle of the arm. Next, she washed her face and brushed her teeth, put on her contacts and applied a light layer of lip gloss. Finally, she brushed her hair to add an extra shine to her golden locks. Once satisfied with her reflection in the mirror, she returned to the bedroom, ready to give a show to her boyfriend.

Before climbing back to bed, she cast a sidelong glance at Killian. Seeing him that way, positioned in a corner of the bedroom, camera in hand, as if waiting for his prey, ignited a spark of lust inside her, eliminating any possible previous reluctance as she offered him what he was looking for.

She sat back on her heels with her back to him, letting the shirt slide down one of her shoulders, leaving it bare. She turned her head slightly, giving him a seductive look over that shoulder, while putting the tip of her index finger between her teeth.

"Bloody hell, woman." He growled from behind his camera, making her almost lose her pose in an attempt to prevent an incipient smirk from drawing on her lips.

She let him take a few pictures, staying in that position with only slight changes. Then, following his instructions, she tried a new posture, this time sitting in front of him, leaving the shirt open enough to reveal only a glimpse of her curves.

There was something impossibly appealing in Killian's stance, a mixture of professionalism as he helped himself, holding the camera with his stump and watching her through the lens with a clinical eye. But there was also something more primal, only revealed when his eyes slid from the visor to her body, offering her a hungry look that had the ability to make her skin tingle with anticipation. The fact that he was shirtless and that his pajama pants did nothing to hide his arousal, far from deconcentrating her in her improvised task of posing for him, caused her postures to become much more suggestive and her gaze to be much more provocative.

The photo shoot ended earlier than expected though. Before she could react, Killian was over her, capturing her mouth in a searing kiss with the ability to take her breath away. She resisted, still reluctant to finish the seduction game that she was enjoying too much.

"I wanna see those pictures." She managed to ask as she tried to reach for the camera Killian had dropped on the bed.

"Later." He mumbled pressing even more against her, his teeth playfully nipping at her bottom lip.

Her resolution began to dissolve as she held back a moan bubbling in her throat, her blood running hot and spreading a burning sensation all over her body.

Still, she tried again, distracting him with the first thing that came to mind, while she reached for the camera. "I'd like to choose one of those photos to upload to Instagram. Or maybe I'm not allowed to share photos of half-naked women either?" Although her voice came in a shaky exhale she hoped to have endowed it with enough innocence.

He raised his head looking for her gaze, the blue of his eyes almost gone. "Two things, darling. First, you are allowed to upload whatever you want to the bloody Instagram. And second, I'm really tempted to share the marvel I've got for girlfriend with the rest of the world, but I prefer to keep you to myself."

"Just for the record, you are not allowed to share photos of your naked girlfriend on Instagram. Although maybe I wouldn’t be opposed to the photo with the bare shoulder…” The diversionary maneuver was enough for her to finally grab the camera and sneak out of his arms. "It's my turn, now. So go and pose for me, Jones."

Killian's eyebrows went together in confusion, as if he had not yet processed what had just happened. When he finally seemed to realize what she was planning, his eyes widened. "You can’t be serious, love."

She stood up, moving away from his reach, holding the camera in the most professional way possible. "I assure you I am, buddy."

"Look at me, Swan." He complained through a hiss as he pointed his hand at his more than prominent tent in his pants.

"I learned from the best, professor." A spark of interest appeared in his eyes, while he gave her a predatory look. "Give me your best, Killian, and I promise you will have your reward, later." A wave of heat flowed to her core, in anticipation of what he would be able to do, as she bit her bottom lip and watched Killian through the lens.

She definitely loved her life now.

Gone were those times when she had no choice but to share her photos with herself, or when she had to settle for taking selfies or taking pictures of random people in the streets, since no one had stayed around her long enough for her to reveal her passion.

Now photography was present in practically all facets of her life, but Emma wasn't going to be the one to complain, not when the fact of living surrounded by photos implied that Killian's image was always present, even though they were physically separated at some points.

It was not that they were separated for long, really. From the moment they had made peace, resuming their relationship, she had begun to add new routines to her life, in which Killian was always included.

Now, two months later, they spent most of the nights sleeping together in her apartment. That first night of make-up sex had been the prelude to many ardent nights, full of passion, nights where they buried their inhibitions while discovering all the secrets of their bodies and the magic that they were able to create together.

The dark room of his apartment, a witness of his first kiss, now also hid the secret of insatiable encounters, the faint red light causing the flame of lust to ignite at the very moment when the door closed behind them.

But dating Killian Jones not only meant enjoying the best sex of her life, it was more, much more. If she had already fallen for him despite his stormy gaze and the burden he carried in his very soul, now that he was dropping layer after layer, revealing his true essence, Emma's feelings towards him had grown with such an intensity that she sometimes felt a kind of vertigo seizing her.

That feeling could be overwhelming at times, but she had stopped being afraid to feel and express her feelings towards others. It was as if, once she had admitted that she loved Killian (at least to herself as it was still too early to express those words aloud) the walls around her heart had finally fallen down, leaving before her a new and unexplored path, with some dangers lurking, but also full of promises.

For the first time in a long time, she could say that she felt happy, experiencing a normal life, hanging out with her friends, going out with her boyfriend, or going to double dates with the other new couple in town, Elsa and Graham. She had even begun to consider the possibility of not keeping photography as a mere hobby but of continuing to expand her knowledge in an official manner.

There was a small parcel of her heart that still remained closed though, its access almost impenetrable. Her parents. Two months later, she hadn't been able to forgive them yet, the betrayal in the form of a bleeding wound still too fresh.

That was not entirely true, she had indeed forgiven them for having given her up for adoption, even though she hadn't felt strong enough to hear the full story.

What had hurt her most had been their later behavior, the fact that, in the first place, they had taken advantage of Killian's blind loyalty to them, and also that they hadn't trusted in their own daughter to tell her the truth and would have been content to stay by her side as mere friends.

Killian had tried to bring up the subject several times, always tentatively, knowing that he shouldn’t push or he would end up getting the opposite effect.

She appreciated those attempts, she really did, because she was aware that he not only did it for his friends, but also for her because, according to him, she deserved to have all the love in the world - especially that of her own family after so many years without it. But it was as if something inside her, like a protective instinct, prevented her from taking that first step that would bring her closer to them.

But she was frankly tired of that situation, tired of the fact that each time she entered her bedroom, even if she tried to ignore it with all her strength, her gaze inevitably landed for a few seconds on the closet door that hid the box containing fragments of her past in the form of a handful of letters.

She also felt bad for Killian, for the fact that he had to compartmentalize his life in such a way that his girlfriend and his best friends —his family— didn't coincide in the same place. He had not stopped seeing them, she did not have the heart to even think about it, but he clearly proceeded with caution, afraid to say or do something in relation to them that could affect her. It was unfair to him.

Since David's visit to her apartment, she had barely met them, only on occasion had she run into them while walking down the street, or had they met by chance at Granny's, generating such an awkward situation she sometimes ended up crossing to the other side of the street to avoid them, or swallowed her food quickly in a desperate attempt to spend as little time as possible under the same roof as them.

Deep down, she was aware that it was up to her to end this situation once and for all. Sooner or later, she would have to trust them, at least to let them explain themselves. The idea of being able to add another level of normalcy to her life, including her family, was also becoming more appealing. The problem? She hadn't the faintest idea how to do it without getting even more damaged in the process.

Maybe it would be a good idea to start with small steps, such as not running away each time she met any of them.

David Nolan. Storybrooke - May 8, 2018

"How is she?" David asked Killian, knowing in advance that the answer would be the same as the one from the previous day.

"She's fine, Dave." Killian always answered like that, in an almost apologetic way. Then he would go on to tell him some small detail related to his daughter, with the simple purpose of getting him to keep her close, even if it was indirectly.

They had agreed to meet at Granny's for lunch, like every Tuesday since Killian had started the new course. In fact, Killian was busier than ever. It seemed that his talent was beginning to be recognized on this side of the ocean and more and more people were interested in learning through him everything related to the world of photography, expanding to the point that he had decided to start a free online course so that any interested person could acquire the basic knowledge. Art and talent do not understand money , it was one of his mottos, which he put into practice whenever he had the chance.

Even so, he always managed to share moments with his friends. Tuesday lunch had become a tradition added to the already existing ones, such as Sunday lunch in David's apartment, breakfast with Mary Margaret on Mondays and Thursdays and his sporadic collaborations in the newspaper.

It was evident that Killian was making great efforts to keep their relationship intact despite what happened with Emma. He couldn't be more grateful for it, but that also meant adding even more burden to the guilt he endured. His actions should not affect his friend in that way.

"She is seriously considering quitting the job and starting to study to become a journalist." Killian's voice brought him back to reality. The pride evident in the words of his friend, matching the one he felt. "You know that from what happened, her relationship with Regina has not been the same again. If she keeps the job, it's just for Henry, frankly."

"I guess it runs in her blood." David could not help but smile at the thought of his daughter following in her father's footsteps. "And as for Regina, you already know that my relationship with her has always been complicated. But she found our daughter after all, so I guess in a way, I'll always be in debt to her." He admitted, although he was still angry at her for being the one to confess the truth without caring about the consequences.

"It was Emma who found her way back to Storybrooke in the first place. Regina only offered her a way to stay." Killian replied in a harsh tone, not bothering to hide his dislike for the mayor. He did not blame him, honestly. Regina's action had caused his relationship with Emma to nearly end.

The little bells above Granny's entrance door announced the arrival of a new client, capturing the attention of both friends, who were sitting at the counter.

David's heart skipped a beat when he realized that it was Emma the one who had just arrived, as if she had somehow been summoned. When her gaze met him, she remained still for a moment, her eyes wide in surprise.

David could not prevent a sigh of resignation from escaping his lips. He was not surprised by her reaction, it had always been the same in recent weeks. He even anticipated what would happen next. She would approach Killian, murmur any excuse and leave in a few seconds.

In fact, once the initial impact was overcome, she began to walk with hesitant steps towards their position. David cast a sidelong glance at his friend, who also seemed equally surprised at her presence there. He was looking at Emma as if there were no one else in the room, though, with a special glow in his eyes that had only begun to appear since he met Emma.

She barely had time to get to their side when Killian got up and greeted her with a kiss on the lips maybe less chaste than it should be appropriate in a public place. David looked away discreetly, still uncomfortable at such public displays of affection. Killian might be his best friend, almost like a son to him, but, in spite of everything, in his eyes, Emma was still like his little girl.

"Hi guys," Emma said after separating from Killian, a small smile adorning her lips, while she offered him a shy look. "I didn't want to interrupt you, I just forgot it was Tuesday."

This is new, at least she hasn’t ignored my existence, David thought as he tried not to read too much in her reaction. She was just surprised to see them, that was it. Even so, he decided to offer her an escape route so that she would not be involved in any kind of uncomfortable situation.

"I should go..."

"No," Emma cut him off, looking back at him. "I mean... it's not necessary. It's your day together, guys. I just came to grab something to eat... It's an excuse, actually, Regina was especially picky today. I needed a break." Emma was rambling, clearly nervous about the unexpected encounter, but at least it seemed that she was doing her part to keep a civilized conversation, so he was going to grab onto that even if it was the only thing she could offer at the moment.

"I can relate, Regina may be difficult to deal with sometimes." David offered in what he hoped was a carefree tone, but even so, he held his breath, waiting for Emma's reaction.

"Just sometimes?" Killian snapped, making an exaggerated grimace of disdain, causing a chuckle on David and a giggle on Emma, who took advantage of Killian's absent-mindedness to steal one of his onion rings.

"Hey, those are mine, get your own." Killian huffed, putting his hand and prosthesis over the plate in a protective manner while making a pout, which caused a new attack of laughter from Emma.

David remained there in awe, observing the scene without even daring to participate for fear of breaking the moment. She seemed so relaxed, so happy, that he had to repress the need to take a picture and immortalize the moment for eternity, his heart thudding in his chest.

After stealing another onion ring from her boyfriend, she caught the attention of one of the waitresses to place her order and then returned to them.

"So, Killian just told me you're thinking about starting to study to become a journalist, Emma." David commented tentatively, in an attempt to make that magical moment last a little longer.

"Yeah. I'd start in September. I guess it's something I've always wanted to do, taking pictures and telling stories." She shrugged, the corners of her sides twisting upward.

"It's a good idea. You know, anything you need, you can count on us." He offered, trusting her to grasp the true meaning of his words.

"Thank you." Emma nodded, her cheeks flushed slightly, while she held his gaze for a few seconds. The moment passed soon, though, as she refocused her attention on Killian.

His friend wrapped his arm around her shoulders, holding her close, as if he, with that simple gesture, was supporting her in some way, making her feel safe. Then Killian gave him an appreciative look, while nodding almost imperceptibly.

David was not sure that he would live long enough to thank his friend for all that he was doing for his family, making Emma happy and trying to build bridges between them. He only hoped that this was the first of many advances that would come in the future.

When Emma left a few minutes later, she turned around just before she reached the exit door, offering David a soft smile, causing the flame of hope in his heart to look brighter than ever. He couldn't wait to tell Mary Margaret.

Killian Jones. Storybrooke - May 9, 2018

Killian decided to spend the next morning locked in the darkroom developing photos, taking advantage of the fact that he had the morning off and that Emma would be working, which meant that she would not be a distraction this time.

Even so, he wasn't able to fully concentrate on the task. That room had already witnessed several amorous encounters between them although for him, the most important memory shared with her in this place would always be their first kiss.

Killian grabbed a photograph with the tweezers to extract it from the development liquid and hung it delicately on the rope he had placed for that purpose in a corner of the room. He couldn't stop his lips from drawing a smile when he observed the smiling face of Emma in that image. The memories of the previous day, when she had been relaxed for the first time in front of David came to his mind then, warming his heart.

Just when he was about to carry out the same process with the next picture, his phone started buzzing on the table. Unknown number.

"Hello?"

"Good morning, can I speak with Mr. Jones, please?" A polite, female voice asked from the other side of the phone.

"That would be me. Who is calling?" He replied cautiously while he held his breath. There was something in the woman’s tone that made him uneasy.

"I'm calling from Storybrooke's General Hospital, sir, since you were listed as one of David Nolan's emergency contacts and we haven't been able to locate his wife..."

"She is a teacher, she’s working right now." Killian cut who he supposed was a nurse off. At the same moment he had heard the word hospital, all his senses were on alert, while his heart beat frantically against his chest. "What happened?" He forced himself to ask in a controlled voice, holding the phone tightly against his ear.

"Uh, I'm afraid that Mr. Nolan has been involved in an accident. He was hit by a car..."

No.

A paralyzing panic crawled up his throat while his ears stopped working properly, preventing him from listening to the woman who was still offering him details. Swallowing hard, he forced himself to take a deep breath, letting out the air slowly through his nose in a desperate attempt to keep his composure.

"...he seems to be out of danger, but given that he has lost consciousness..."

"I'm on my way. Thanks for informing me." Killian cut the poor nurse again, feeling bad for a few seconds since she had been kind enough to him, but he could not waste more time, needed to take action before a new wave of panic gripped him.

He clenched his jaw and blocked any disturbing thoughts, burying any memory of the past that could take advantage of that moment of weakness to beat him.

Instead, he set himself a goal - pick up Mary Margaret on his way to the hospital and make sure his friend would be okay. He didn't contemplate any other option.

With that goal in mind, he grabbed his phone and wallet and left his apartment, cursing himself for not yet having been able to purchase an adapted vehicle that would allow him to get to his friend sooner. Instead, he had to literally run to school while wondering how he was going to break the news to Mary Margaret. Only at that moment did he remember that he also had to give the news to another person and his heart sank in the process. He would have to inform Emma that her father had suffered an accident.

Thanks for reading. Let me know what did you all think :)

There are only two chapters to go, the final chapter and the epilogue, so whatever happens to David, it can't be so bad, I'm not that cruel, am I? Also, Emma will read the letters, finally!

#cs ff #cs au #csbb #captain swan #captain swan ff #mayquita writes #my cs writings #pictures of reality #cs au ff #csbb 2018

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kuciradio · 5 years

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As 2018 is coming to an end it’s time to reflect on this amazing year for new music and artistry. KUCI is a diverse group of DJs and we are proud to represent all genres of music. I have finally put together our Top 10 albums of 2018 along with some honorable mentions towards the end accompanied by some lovely words written by our fellow DJs. We can’t wait for what 2019 brings for us and continue tuning in on kuci.org or 88.9 FM if you’re in the Orange County area. Have a safe and happy new year!

1. Mitski - Be The Cowboy

“Mitski Miyawaki’s powerhouse voice resonates with a haunting clarity on her stunning masterpiece Be the Cowboy. She creates entire worlds and characters out of pieces of herself, from paranoid, awkward women who yearn for traditionalism and some idealist version of what life or love should be (hello “Lonesome Love”), to cowgirls who can do it all on their own. From sorrowful to triumphant, Mitski colors the spaces in between from soul-bearing ballad “Geyser” to unforgettable dancing-alone-in-your-bedroom anthem “Nobody.” (Sophie Prettyman-Beauchamp)

“This album was so personal and raw and I also liked how the songs flowed well on this album.” (Heidi Barragan)

2. The Internet - Hive Mind

“I can't talk about this album without mentioning how mad I am at myself for missing the tour. Syd, Pat, Steve, Matt, and Chris, The Internet, are prominent figures of musical evolution; this speaks volumes and not just because they got their start with Odd Future, a hub of avid freeform artists. If you’re inclined to believe what I believe, Ego Death is a heartbreak album and Hive Mind is loaded with recovery anthems and passionate songs to share with your new partner who is not a rebound. Across the timeline, the sounds change from R&B and Hip-Hop to Funk and Soul; but what captures my attention the most, from Ego Death to Hive Mind, is the way a facade is casted aside. Hive Mind is just so sincere and therefore, perfectly fitting for being a part of my top three.” (Thorson Munoz)

“[This album] is a very funky album with heavy tones of R&B. The Internet does not disappoint with their funky sounds, which can be heard on “La Di Da”. Overall the album has powerful baselines, thanks to the amazing Steve Lacy, and groovy beats backed by Syd’s smooth vocals. It is hard to listen to this album and not dance along to it.” (Melissa Palma)

3. Kali Uchis - Isolation

“Colombian singer Kali Uchis’ long-awaited debut album is a high-production value journey into her uniquely sultry, dreamy world of R&B. The songstress’s silky voice pushes boundaries of various genres, from bossa-inspired intro “Body Language” to the Amy Winehouse-esque “Killer,” each track better and more of a banger than the last. Isolation features artists like The Internet guitarist Steve Lacy, British soul success Jorja Smith, and reggaeton icon Reykon. Uchis also recruited her friends Tyler, the Creator and legendary bassist Bootsy Collins for the hit single “After the Storm,” a follow-up to her and Tyler’s song “See You Again” from his 2017 album Flower Boy (supported by a stunningly whimsical music video by director Nadia Lee Cohen). The producer credits are just as stacked, including the likes of Thundercat, BROCKHAMPTON’s Romil Hemnani, Tame Impala’s Kevin Parker, and Gorillaz frontman Damon Albarn. Uchis proves herself as the new sound of pop, never veering from her originality that made her a Soundcloud sweetheart.” (Sophie Prettyman-Beauchamp)

4. Janelle Monae - Dirty Computer

“She’s such an intelligent creative weirdo and I LOVE HER. Not to mention her oozing femme POWER.” (Naseem Eskandari)

“About the moxie I mentioned earlier, this emotional rollercoaster has an abudnace of it and I cannot get enough! Cover to cover this album packs a punch, and as the visual companion--which brought me to tears--would suggest, this entire album is a celebration of deviant bodies and identities. This album contains the perfect ratio of soft and tender tracks and upbeat exciting ones so its no wonder why NPR named Dirty Computer their number one of 2018.” (Thorson Munoz)

5. Anderson .paak - Oxnard

“Sometimes artists, after huge successes, feel that they need to make music that sounds just like their previous work to gain the same traction, but really the true artists are the ones that stay honest and true to their creative ability - their sound moves through life with them.” (Naseem Eskandari)

“Anderson .Paak, to me, is responsible for every playlist I've ever built that revolves around driving in Los Angeles with the windows down, no matter the time of day. However, I don't drive a convertible, so instead I honored Venice and Malibu using my radio program, Detours. Not only am I excited to honor Oxnard as well, but Oxnard was built for driving; this is evident after listening to "Tints", the first release, and "Headlow". This album, just like Malibu, is masterful; the only difference is that Dr. Dre stepped out of the shadows and was a feature. Oxnard is beyond incredible and worthy of it's legendary features, Snoop Dog, Q-Tip, and Kadhja Bonet, to name a few. I'm really excited for what will likely be Anderson .Paak's next Grammy nomination.” (Thorson Munoz)

6. Blood Orange - Negro Swan

“AMAZING production, amazing narrative!!!!!!!” (Angel Cortez)

“Dev Hynes never fails to make master pieces of albums that narrate the experience of marginalized people in an oppressive and toxic environment. Hynes brings together artists as big as ASAP Rocky to smaller artists of equal talent such as Steve Lacey creating a beautiful medley of indie hip hop to soul and funk. Coupled with interviews, Hynes is able to make this album a personal experience for the listener. For me it always feels as though he is singing to me personally, something that not many artists are able to do.” (Kelsey Villacorte)

7. Kevin Krauter - Toss Up

“Toss Up has to be my personal #1 favorite album of 2018 by Kevin Krauter who began making music apart from lo-fi dream pop band Hoops in 2015. Toss Up was released this past summer and was the perfect album to listen to during warm summer nights and has carried through to the end of the year as a comforting reminder of those warm times during these cold nights. It has that dreamy, nostalgic feeling, something that you would listen to as you’re reflecting on the tender moments of your life. Krauter mixes vaporwave-esque sounds with sweet ballads with no one song sounding like the other.” (Kelsey Villacorte)

8. MGMT - Little Dark Age

“MGMT's come-back album is focused, synthy, and fresh. Without abandoning the dark undertones present in their older albums, this album reflects the band's personal growth and resonates with fans, old and new. Tracks like TSLAMP and Little dark Age are some of my favorites!” (Angelica Sheen)

“MGMT has maintained their status as an alternative staple and has since transformed their sound into something more experimental since their debut album Oracular Spectacular. MGMT did not disappoint and gave us an album that went from the weird wii-fit/dystopian vibes of She Works Out To Much to 80s dance of Me and Michael to another sweet ballad titled Hand It Over which is super reminiscent of the ending/title song of their second album Congratulations. MGMT never fails to write well thought out lyrics that all almost feel like their own story. All in all, they did not disappoint and this is exactly the kind of MGMT album I was hoping for after a 5 year hiatus.” (Kelsey Villacorte)

9. Ian Sweet - Crush Crusher

“Jilian Medford refines IAN SWEET’s sound and practices self-care on sophomore album Crush Crusher, her most intimate release yet. Medford rediscovers her identity as she considers how much of herself she has forgotten while preoccupying herself with being a guardian to others (she warbles “The sun built me to shade everybody” on “Holographic Jesus”). Ever poetic while satisfyingly straightforward, she notes that “It’s been too long since I let myself cry about something that wasn’t even sad” on the pummeling single “Spit.” She coos, squeaks, and screams in perfect, dissonant harmony over her guitar’s cathartically melancholic reverb. IAN SWEET remains a perfect contradiction that only grows sweeter.” (Sophie Prettyman-Beauchamp)

10. Parquet Courts - Wide Awake!

“This band's genius shows through with every new release. Wide Awake throws all of their influences together and expels energetic funk beats with poignant, dark, and brutal lyrics that are especially political. The juxtaposition of these themes with upbeat and optimistic instrumentals speaks to their compositional talent, making it a fan favorite. AND THEY USE COWBELLS.” (Angelica Sheen)

Honorable Mentions:

Glenn Crytzer Orchestra, "Ain't it Grand?"

This album couldn't have been better aimed at me if the band had come and asked me what I wanted to hear. A modern swing-style orchestra performing both classic tunes from the 1930s and modern pieces written in the big band style. The ensemble playing is tight, the solos just exactly right, and the production quality a lot sharper than any of the original Duke Ellington recordings. Top notch stuff. (Michael Payne)

The Vaccines - Combat Sports

"The Vaccines brought back the spirit and energy of their debut album but with a new twist when they released their 4th album early in 2018. Get pumped up with the "I Can't Quit" and "Nightclub" or settle down with "Maybe (The Luck of the Draw)" or "Young American". The Vaccines perfectly embody the sound and snark of the '70s and '80s artists of which their influenced while still creating a modern feel of the 2010's. My personal favorite off the album "Out on the Street" definitely a treat live! Over all Combat Sports is an excellent album and what we needed in 2018." (Stacey Brizuela)

Cobra Man - Toxic Planet

“Los Angeles local duo Cobra Man blows it out of the water with their sophomore album that carries the heart and groove of something you'd hear out of '84. It is indeed one of the best albums of the year because it utilizes one of the most underrated instruments in the game, the saxophone.” (Spartacus Avina)

Nu Guinea "Nu Guinea"

Heaven & Earth by Kamasi Washington is an album that’s loud and bold in both sound and vocals. A lot of the album often creates an ethereal effect with the heavy instrumentals ascending into a grand peak, most notably heard on “Street Fighter Mas”. The vocals on the album accompany the instrumentals in their same form, loud and climaxing. Listening to this album is like a rollercoaster with its thrilling jazz sounds. (Melissa Palma)

Drug Church - Cheer

Mac Miller - Swimming

“The tragic beauty of this album speaks for itself. Mac was such a raw and very real individual and it reflects in his music the way that many others cannot replicate. May he rest in peace - I hope the next life will be better for him.” (Naseem Eskandari)

Thank you to all the amazing DJs who submitted their Top 10 list of 2018! I am super glad to have been part of an amazing and diverse radio station for this past year and this is only a small piece of what our DJs music tastes are like here. I hope everyone has an incredible and safe New Years Eve and a happy 2019 :)

-Kelsey Villacorte (Music Director)

#kuciFM #top 10 lists #top 10 albums #college radio #mitski #kevin krauter #parquet courts #the internet #Anderson .Paak #kali uchis #janelle monae #mgmt #ian sweet #blood orange

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treehouseart · 6 years

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Why Reblogging Is So Important to Artists | Why Being Nice Online is Important | Storytime

First of all, I wasn’t going to talk about this. Because I thought it wasn’t needed, because I thought there was enough information out there asking people NOT TO REPOST ART and if we do, at least give PROPER CREDIT.

But there isn’t. That’s alright. Let’s talk about it.

Two days ago I was approached by the lovely @vaugleysassygrunt who told me someone was reposting my art. They said this person had been changing their url all day (and they’re still doing it) and sent me a hyperlink to the art they had posted. It was one of the comics from my on-going Sanders Sons series, a sequential comic I have been working on for almost a year. It was pretty dear to my heart (and the context was pretty important as well).

My immediate thought was “Oooh boy, my first art thief, that’s so exciting”. All the big ones get those. Along I went to this person’s tumblr and was about to send them a message when I saw they had already addressed the issue by saying they found reblogging annoying and that’s why they preferred reposting. That they never claimed the art was theirs.

Of course my first thought was “if you don’t like reblogging what are you doing on tumblr?”. But we shouldn’t give in to our first thoughts. They’re often rash.

So I get into a conversation with said art thief and try another way. Because THERE IS another way. We can’t nunchuk our way to awareness. This is what I wrote:

Hi, friendo! I'm sorry people are giving you a hard time, but crediting art is very important for us artists :( It's how we make our carreers. I understand you don't enjoy reblogging, but it can help people find our art and find more of our work if they need to. I also am really embarrassed to have to ask, but could you please credit sandersssons-comic or sanderssons in the quadruplets AU? It's a series I spent a lot of time on and I would hate it if people only read a part of it. Thanks and have a good day :D

They repond right away. Telling me they accept my apology (?)

Also that they found the image on google images.

Also asking how much artists get.

FIRST LESSON TO TAKE FROM THIS: Google Images, such as Google itself, it’s an image SEARCHER. It COMPILES images from the whole internet. An image being on Google Images DOES NOT MEAN IT’S UP FOR GRABS. Google Images provides the proper source of the picture.

BESIDES, Google Images can be a great tool for finding the author of an artpiece. Just go to Google Reverse Image Search. You can do it from your phone and from your desktop. Just put the image on and Google finds the original source for you!

So I proceed to explain to this person that artists don’t make much. Most of us get money from comissions that depend on the complexity. Some get Ko-Fis and Patreons and online shops with stickers and key chains and some other goodies.

ALTHOUGH, FOR YOU I ALSO SAY: PEOPLE ARE ENTITLED TO THEIR ART EVEN IF THEY DON’T GET MONEY FOR IT. BECAUSE IT’S THEIR OWN AND THEY MADE IT. DON’T BE A DICK.

They say:

I don’t mean to be rude but you could just get more money by being an art teacher or something that pays good minimum wage.

And you can imagine this big red flag raising in my head. Disengage. Disengage. Disengage. But this was a HUMAN BEING. And a misinformed one. I had already made contact. Might as well. I explained that we DO NOT WANT other jobs. This is our jobs. This is our choice of carreer. And it’s not hard to respect.

Reminder, that should go without saying: YOU DO NOT HAVE A SAY ON PEOPLE’S LIFE CHOICES

Our friend says they don’t understand cause they’re in high school and they don’t draw a lot (as if art knowledge just comes by osmosis when you draw a lot)

I said it was totally cool not to understand. Because it is

SECOND LESSON: SOMETIMES PEOPLE DON’T KNOW THINGS. I came back to tumblr for the Thomas Sanders fandom. A fandom that thrives on kindness and caring and validation of different people

They thanked me for being cool and explaining things and asked if we could be friends. I said that absolutely

(After our little talk, they started giving credit to the pictures they could find. Read as: the ones that had signatures on the image)

We talked yesterday a whole part of the day. We get acquainted. They’re finding themselves as non-binary, they’re in high school. Things like that. I tell them I’m 20 and in college for journalism

In this proccess I explained how comissions worked and, again, why reblogging and not reposting was important

So yesterday night I’m already in bed when they message me “Hi”

I responded I was tired and going to sleep. They said they were going to bed too. And that they hated when they were accused of something they didn’t do. Which was stealing art

And I said that, indeed, they weren’t STEALING art per say. But reposting was a dick move. They got PISSED. So I tried to find an analogy they would understand.

Ok, think of it like this

You've painted a tradicional piece in oil and put it in your gallery with other paintings

Someone can't come and take the painting off the wall and put it on their gallery

Even if they say it's yours... It doesn't bring more people to your gallery. It exposes your work... But that's mostly it.

To which they replied:

The Mona Lisa got stolen once and people have made counterfeit paintings in the past

Which, goes without saying DOESN’T MAKE IT OKAY. Just because someone already murdered another, it doesn’t mean we can go around on a killing spree.

Besides, tumblr has original content and tools to get replicated inside the website. And so I told them.

And then again:

Why are the majority of people here artists who clearly don’t realize they can get a part time job?

And I told them, AGAIN, they do not want part time jobs. They want these jobs.

They said I lied then, when I said art didn’t pay well. And proceeded to say they didn’t understand why people want to be starving artists.

Also that tumblr didn’t have the kind of images they wanted. EVEN THOUGH THIS WHOLE THING WAS HAPPENING BECAUSE ARTISTS FROM TUMBLR WERE FINDING THEIR ARTWORKS REPOSTED ON THEIR ACCOUNT.

I was also making them upset.

I tried to explain further, but they blocked me.

Fortunately, I was able to send one last message and I think it’s the biggest message I want to pass here.

I'm sorry I'm upsetting you but I've been nothing but respectful

Be respectful. Even when you’re mad. Even when people are rude. Kill them with kindness. If they’re too immature to listen to you, that’s on them. Practice what our dear youtubers preach (Thomas Sanders, Jack, Mark).

This person is still reposting, yes. They’re giving credit, but still reposting. It’s a start, I believe. It’s more than I would have gotten sending a hate ask.

So now, princes, princesses and non-binary royalty, I give you the

TL;DR

Artists are ENTITLED TO THEIR ART. You. Are. Not. It doesn’t matter if it’s on tumblr, on google images or on the street. If there’s a signature or not. Getting money for it or not (also, since I’m here, don’t forget that art is not only visual arts, but also videos, music, podcasts and a bagillion other things. If it’s not yours, don’t post it)

You DO NOT get a say on how people should get their wage (just like you don’t get a say on how they dress, on where they go, or who they love)

When you REBLOG, you help the artist to get known. It costs nothing. When you REPOST, you’re a dick. You’re not helping anyone and you’re giving yourself more trouble than just clicking a simple button

It’s okay not to know everything, but listen when people talk respectfully

Don’t be hard on people when you can be nice. Aggravating people will only make enemies of people who can be friends

Be mature enough to accept sometimes you’re wrong

BONUS ROUND: I believed we were done, but I saw this post short after. I didn’t think it was relevant to include, but I feel like I must say something.

I’ve had it with everyone being nothing but mean and antagonizing me. I’m not the bad guy and I really want to kill myself or leave tumblr. I’m never accepted by anyone or anywhere. Hell its hard to tell my friends I’m into men and women or that I like certain things. I get rejected constantly so goodbye forever

And later proceeded to post normally.

Please notice that your life BEING HARD does not make up for BEING A DICK and REFUSING TO BE EDUCATED. I will not refrain from telling you the truth R E S P E C T F U L L Y to protect your feelings just because you’re LGBTQ+ (specially because the you being B part was totally new information for me in this post/and I’m in the community too).

So since I’m giving moral lessons, do this for your friends. We should not stand for something we do not agree. Real friends will respect your side and reconsider. If a person hostilizes you for having a different opinion - or, in this case, being right - they’re not someone you want to have around.

PS.: I will not disclose this person’s identity because it’s irrelevant. I’m only posting this in hopes it can help someone else

PPS.: I ended up did reporting this person for giving my comic specifically the wrong credit

#art #reposting art #storytime #please don't repost art

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robinsoncenter · 5 years

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[Qsc_asuw] Week 6 Newsletter

Welcome to Week Six! <3 We hope you have stayed safe and warm these past few days and continue to enjoy the days to come. REMINDER THAT THERE IS NO SCHOOL TOMORROW DUE TO CONTINUED DANGEROUS CONDITIONS, PLEASE STAY SAFE, take care of yourselves and each other. We hope you might find time to spend warmly with friends and community this week and engage in some necessary self-care. QTBIPOC Artist Spotlight of the Week: Amir Khadar Amir Khadar is a Non-binary West African multidisciplinary artist, whose main mediums are poetry, fibers, and digital art. For them, art is a space to rationalize their feelings as a marginalized individual, resist oppressive structures, and ultimately facilitate healing. Afrofuturism, black beauty, bitterness, hair, and spirituality are running themes in their work. Currently, Amir is a Sophomore at the Maryland Institute College of Art, where they are pursuing a B.F.A in Fibers and Humanistic studies.

The Queer & Trans People of Color Alliance (QTPOCA) will be meeting this Friday (Location TBD!)

REMINDER: Disability is an Asset: An Evening with Haben Girma this Wednesday, February 13th has been canceled and will be rescheduled.

Liberated Love: Growing a Healing Practice:

(Thursday, February 14) 6 PM - 8 PM @ The Rainier Arts Center

3515 S Alaska St, Seattle, WA 98118-1633

Experiencing hate is nothing new for us as LGBTQ+ people, particularly those of us LGBTQ folks that are also people of color. While national and local numbers of hate violence incidents’ are rising, we have known this hate to be true long before the numbers began to catch up. One of the most powerful ways we continue to resist hate and survive throughout the violence is by coming together; growing and sustaining deep, celebratory, and liberated communities rooted in love. Existing in community can be difficult though if we forget to tend to ourselves as well. Join the Northwest Network to learn and practice self-healing techniques. We hope for these techniques to serve as groundwork to engage and be fully present in communities, relationships, and families, of liberated love.

* More information about workshops and facilitators will be posted soon! Thank you for your patience.

This event is open to LGBTQ+ folks and their loved ones who have been affected by hate and hate violence.

ACCESSIBILITY INFORMATION:

Getting Here: The Rainier Arts Center is a 5-minute walk from the Columbia City Light Rail Station. Bus routes 7, 50, and 9 also stop within a block of the Rainier Arts Center.

The event space is the lower level of the Rainier Arts Building. The entrance for the space is on the northeast corner of the building. At the main entrance, there are both stairs and a ramp which lead into the basement of the building. The space has both ADA accessible and all gender restrooms. *Feel free to reach out with any other accessibility questions.

Winter Quarter Social Justice Film Series

(Wednesday, February 13, 2019) 6:30 PM

The Kelly ECC is back with another social justice film series for winter quarter!

Each Wednesday evening at 6:30, we'll be screening a film in the main lobby! We hope to see you there!

February's Focus: Black History Month

March's Focus: Women's History Month

------

FILM LINE-UP:

• February 13: American Promise

• February 20: The African Americans: Many Rivers to Cross

• February 27: Dark Girls

• March 6: Ladies First

• March 13: Neerja

ACCESSIBILITY INFORMATION:

The Samuel E. Kelly Ethnic Cultural Center is near landmarks such as Alder Hall and Lander Hall.

For a map, search HUB on the campus maps: www.washington.edu/maps

The ECC’s front entrance is wheelchair accessible. There is an elevator in the building.

There are universal, all-gender bathrooms in the building, as well as gender binary bathrooms with multiple stalls.

The ECC is not kept scent-free, but we ask that you do not wear scented/fragranced products (e.g. perfume, hair products) or essential oils to/in the event in order to make the space accessible to those with chemical injury or multiple chemical sensitivity.

University District Metro Bus Routes can be found here:

metro.kingcounty.gov/tops/bus/neighborhoods/university_district.html

A Certain Type of Brilliance

(Thursday, February 14, 2019) 7 PM - 9 PM @

Gay City: Seattle's LGBTQ Center

517 E Pike St, Seattle, Washington 98122

Femmes possess an alchemy that can’t be quantified, but which draws us together and enables us to be bold, ingenious, and capable of a magic that fortifies our own hearts and the soul of the community around us. A Certain Type of Brilliance is a celebration of femmes’ ability to pull amazing things out of thin air, to create on a dime, to use our vulnerability and creativity as our greatest assets in resistance to oppression.

The production features a unique cast each night; performers will create a new piece of work in the 24 hours prior to the show in response to one of a series of prompts, drawing on themes of resistance, resilience, femme identity & power.

Other Dates Offered:

FRIDAY FEB. 15 (7:00 PM - 9:00 PM)

SATURDAY FEB. 16 (7:00 PM - 9:00 PM)

SUNDAY FEB. 17 (7:00 PM - 9:00 PM)

ACCESSIBILITY INFORMATION:

https://www.gaycity.org/accessibility/

All restrooms are gender-neutral.

Smoking & Fragrances are prohibited on Gay City premises. Do not wear scented/fragranced products (e.g. perfume, hair products) or essential oils to/in the event in order to make the space accessible to those with chemical injury or multiple chemical sensitivity.

All spaces, doors, and corridors are at least 32 inches wide and ADA compliant.

All doors in the building open manually.

There are two steps from the auditorium/library hallway to Kaladi Bros Coffee and to go to the restrooms. In order to go between the coffee shop/restrooms and the auditorium/library without using any steps, you will need to go outside and enter through the other external door.

Playfulness as Resistance! 25th Anniversary Party

(Saturday, February 16, 2019) 7 PM - 11 PM @ Jacob Lawrence Gallery

University of Washington Art Building 1915 Chelan Lane Seattle, WA 98195

Tickets: $15 General admission/$5 students

With DJ sets by:

SassyBlack

Felisha Ledesma (S1 Portland)

dos leches + Eve Defy (TUF Collective, Seattle)

Dive into a ball pit by Colleen Louise Barry, sip a cocktail crafted by our celebrity bartender Timothy Rysdyke, get a copy of the brand new MONDAY (Vol. 3), dance under an installation by Disco Nap, snack on a donut from General Porpoise, and leave wearing a temporary tattoo by Claire Cowie!

FOOD + DRINK + FUN!

ACCESSIBILITY INFORMATION:

The gallery is wheelchair accessible.

The Gallery is smoking-free but not kept scent-free, we ask that you do not wear scented/fragranced products (e.g. perfume, hair products) or essential oils to/in the event in order to make the space accessible to those with chemical injury or multiple chemical sensitivity.

There are no dogs allowed in the gallery.

Generifus • Flying Fish Cove • Izumi

(Wednesday, February 20, 2019) 7:30 PM - 10:30 PM @

Timbre Room

1809 Minor Avenue #10, Seattle, Washington 98101

$8 • Doors at 7:30 • Music begins at 8pm sharp

Generifus •

Intricate and magnificent legendary rock pop from Olympia, WA

https://generifus.bandcamp.com

Flying Fish Cove •

Mythical melodies and dreamy moods, and they bop

Izumi •

Modern folk that is pure heart and magic spun into song

https://izumi.bandcamp.com

How The Body Hold's It's Stories

(Thursday, February 28, 2019) 7 PM - 9 PM

Hugo House

1634 11th Ave, Seattle, Washington 98122

How do our bodies hold onto experiences? How do generations of people of color, queer and trans people, and others who have experienced marginalization carry those stories over generations? Join writers Jordan Alam and Tessa Zeng for a reading and conversation on feeling a story in your bones and translating it to the page. Musician Lex Gavin will also perform. ABOUT THE PERFORMERS: Jordan Alam is a queer Bangladeshi-American writer, performer, and social change educator based out of Seattle. Her work engages with moments of rupture and transformation in the lives of people on the margins. Jordan’s work is heavily engaged in community, and she is a current Kundiman Pacific Northwest co-chair and 4Culture Artist Grant recipient. Her short stories and articles have appeared in The Atlantic, CultureStrike Magazine, The Rumpus, and AAWW’s The Margins; she has spoken at events including the Aspen Ideas Festival and the Eyes on Bangladesh exhibition. She is also the founder of the Asian American social justice publication, Project As [I] Am (http://www.project-as-i-am.com). Most recently, she has completed a fellowship with Town Hall Seattle to create collaborative performance pieces about stories of the body and been editing a draft of her debut novel. Lex Gavin is a multidisciplinary artist living in Seattle. Their brain (and thus their work) grapples with paradox, perception, nuance, and the failures of identity. They are interested in magic, neuroscience/somatics/epigenetics, and human systems. When they are not neglecting their creative pursuits, they work in the youth development field and play in the kitchen. Tessa Zeng is a writer, systems change advocate, and co-creative maker. She has been published in various poetry anthologies and journals, and received an Individualized BA from Goddard College for her work on social misrecognition. With their work, they hope to create beautiful experiences of interconnection and recognition that can heal traumas caused by oppressive structures.

ACCESSIBILITY INFORMATION:

The new Hugo House is fully ADA-compliant. If you require specific accommodations, please contact us so that we may assist you.

There are gender-neutral bathrooms.

Public transportation: The new Hugo House is a short walk from the Capitol Hill light rail station and the First Hill streetcar (Broadway & Pike-Pine stop) and within a half-mile of many buses, including routes 8, 10, 11, 43, 49, and 60.

Parking: A pay parking lot is available nearby at the Greek Orthodox Church at 13th and Howell, or at Seattle Central College’s Harvard Garage at 1609 Harvard Avenue. Street parking is also available but not guaranteed. The garage beneath Hugo House is for tenants only.

Free, rapid HIV Testing and PrEP counseling provided by Lifelong.

First come, first serve, walk-in appointments available on the last Monday of every month during Fall, Winter, and Spring quarters!

Other Times Offered (All times at Q-Center from 1:00 PM - 4:00 PM) :

Monday, February 25th

Monday, March 25

Monday, April 29

Monday, May 27

ACCESSIBILITY INFORMATION:

The Husky Union Building is near landmarks such as Allen Library, Padelford and Sieg. For a map, search HUB on the campus maps: http://www.washington.edu/maps/.The HUB’s front entrance is wheelchair accessible and the common area is to the right of the main desk.

An all-genders restroom can be found at the 3rd floor, down the hallway from the Q Center. Gender binary bathrooms with multiple stalls can be found on each floor of the HUB.

The HUB IS not kept scent-free but we ask that you do not wear scented/fragranced products (e.g. perfume, hair products) or essential oils to/in the Q Center in order to make the space accessible to those with chemical injury or multiple chemical sensitivity. To request disability accommodation, contact the Disability Services Office at 206-543-6450 (voice), 206-543-6452 (TTY), 206-685-7264 (fax), or [email protected] 10 days in advance.

Let’s Talk is a free program that connects UW students with support from experienced counselors from the Counseling Center and Hall Health Center without an appointment. Counselors hold drop-in hours at four sites on campus:

Mondays, 2-4 PM, Odegaard Library Room 222

Tuesdays, 2-4 PM, Ethnic Cultural Center Room 306

Wednesdays, 2-4 PM, Q Center (HUB 315)

Thursdays, 2-4 PM, Mary Gates Hall Room 134E

Let’s Talk offers informal consultation – it is not a substitute for regular therapy, counseling, or psychiatric care. To learn more, visit

letstalk.washington.edu.

ACCESSIBILITY INFORMATION:

The HUB’s front entrance is wheelchair accessible and the common area is to the right of the main desk.

An all-genders restroom can be found at the 3rd floor, down the hallway from the Q Center. Gender binary bathrooms with multiple stalls can be found on each floor of the HUB.

The ECC has single-stall gender-neutral bathrooms on each floor, near the gender-binary bathrooms to which signs are indicated.

Odegaard Library is not ADA accessible nor scent free.

All rooms in Mary Gates Hall are wheelchair accessible. Please contact the Disability Services Office at 206.543.6450 or [email protected]. MGH is not scent free.

Thank you for being a part of our community <3 We are so glad that you are here, and we are so glad to get to know you! Have questions about the QSC? Just want to get involved? Find our office hours online at hours.asuw.org. To hear more from the QSC be sure to like us on facebook, and follow us on twitter & instagram to stay up to date with all queer and trans related happenings on campus and in Seattle! With love, Mehria Ibrahimi, Outreach & Engagement Intern.

#events #qsc #qpoca #film #Hugo House

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houseofvans · 6 years

Photo

ART SCHOOL | RACHEL KATSTALLER

Inspired by traveling, architecture, seasonal fashion, and Nature, Austrian Alps based artist Rachel Katstaller's illustrations center around strong female figures and playful bold colors. With upcoming various book projects, including her first children’s book, Rachel balances her work and life with skateboarding, travel, as well as volunteering at her local animal shelter. We find out more about Rachel’s artistic process, her art school tip, and about some of her upcoming projects in 2018 – including her first board graphic!

Make the Leap!

Photographs by Florian Trattner

Introduce yourself? Hi there! My name is Rachel Katstaller, and I’m an illustrator from a teeny tiny country in the Central American tropics. Two years ago I moved to the Austrian Alps with my Salvadorian street cat Hemingway, who terribly misses the palm trees and warm tropical weather back home.

Tell us a little about your illustrations. How would you describe your work to someone who is just coming across it? My work centers around strong female figures and playful color palettes. These are deeply inspired by the vivid color combinations you can find when traveling in the tropics.

When did you first get into drawing? Who were some of your early artistic influences? What artists inspire you these days? Ever since I picked up a pencil as a kid I’ve never stopped drawing, but I honestly never expected to be able to turn it into a career. I graduated and worked as a designer for a while, but it never really fulfilled me. Four years ago I decided to take the leap and pursue my real dream of becoming an illustrator. It’s been quite a ride with lots of ups and very low downs, but I’d never turn back!

My very earliest influences where definitely my grandparents, both architects who loved to make beautiful sketches of cities or oil paintings of Salvadorian market days. Also the gorgeous use of space and color by Miró counts as one of my earliest inspirations. Nowadays I find myself always checking out work by other wonderful illustrators and artists such as Carson Ellis, Tuesday Bassen and Cleon Peterson to name a few.

Take us through your artistic process? What’s a typical day in the studio like? Inspiration strikes at very strange times sometimes, so whenever I have an idea for a new illustration, I start working it through in my head, imagining shapes and colors. Once I get to the studio I most of the times just lay out the colors I want for the piece, sketch it and then get to work on the final art. It all sounds super easy and fast, but sometimes these ideas shape themselves through several days in my head until I finally see them clearly enough to put them to paper. Sometimes it feels like it takes forever! I’m a creature of habit and that’s why I try to have very regular office hours during the week. I’m the most motivated and creative in the mornings, or in the late afternoon so those hours are mainly reserved to paint and draw and dedicate myself to being creative. Afternoons I spend writing e-mails and planning out ideas, working on my online shop and mapping out personal projects. Before leaving I always make sure my workspace is clean and organized so that I have a blank slate to begin with the next day!

What are your essential art tools and materials? I love jumping from one medium to the other, it all depends on the project and client, as well as what feeling I wish to convey through my pieces. Of late I have loved combining gouache with colored pencil textures, as well as graphite. But I also love working digitally in Photoshop with my Wacom tablet, since this allows for mistakes to be easily corrected.

It’s mentioned that you’re currently living in the Alps. How has this environment or that city influenced the work you create? What’s your favorite thing about residing there? Yes, I’ve been here for a bit now and I absolutely love it! Back in Central America we only have two seasons (rainy and dry), so actually being able to have four different seasons has been quite the experience. I love how the colors change over the course of the year, not only in nature but also in how people dress, it definitely influences my work. I also draw inspiration from architecture, which is so very different in every place I’ve visited. It’s a constant source of ideas. But what I think has been my favorite thing about living here has to be having taken up skateboarding. I’m a terrible skateboarder, almost deeply embarrassing so, but I try to get as much practice as I can. It’s led me to a wonderfully supportive group of girl skaters with whom I enjoy spending time with. They not only inspire my art but also motivate me to keep practicing and keep challenging myself to become better!

What was your last adventure that showed up in one of your illustrations, thematically or just visually? Maybe not my last but my favorite adventure was last year, when I went to Tromsø, Norway for the first time to see the northern lights. The whole 10 days I was there the sky was cloudy plus the full moon didn’t allow us to see anything! I was super disappointed about leaving without really having seen them. On our very last night there, my friends went to a party but I decided to stay home and go to bed early. I took a walk outside of the house and saw the northern lights just above me. It was such a magical experience and one that I will definitely never forget!

What advice would you give someone who wants to follow in your footsteps and pursue art? It is hard to give advice to others as I pretty much still feel really small and insignificant in the art and illustration world! It is easy to feel lost and as if what you do doesn’t really matter. What I’ve found has helped me to keep moving forward is to stay as true as I can to myself and my own journey as an artist. The work we do is a reflection of our inner selves, so as we grow, so does our art. Try to not look at others and compare yourself to them. Even if it sounds impossible at times, believe in yourself!

What’s your best Art School tip that you want to share with folks? I will have to second Martin Ontiveros and say that copying is not always the proper way to praise another artist’s work. Finding your voice as an artist is a long process and there are no shortcuts to get there. It’s totally ok to get inspired by other artists, but you are unique and your work should be too.

What’s been your biggest challenge career wise and how have you overcome it or how do you continue to persevere against these challenges? My biggest challenge as an illustrator so far has been keeping constantly inspired and motivated to create new work. Last year, after working really hard on some big projects, I found myself feeling completely empty of any good new ideas. Instead of taking a break, I just continued to push myself harder and getting more and more frustrated at myself for not delivering. This brought me close to burnout and it ended up becoming a vicious cycle of sorts. I’m slowly learning to listen to myself and understand that it’s ok to need breaks from work. I’ve realized how important time off is, how traveling helps me find new ideas and refreshing ways to see the world.

What are your favorite style of VANS? Definitely the Old Skool Pro, they combine comfiness with great style!

How are you not just ONE thing? Illustration is a very lonely job, I spend hours cooped up in the studio working and concentrating on my things. That’s why I’m extremely grateful for skateboarding. It’s as much a relieve from work as it is a downtime to connect with others. Nothing compares to hanging out with my friends and challenging myself to try out new things. I’ve also found purpose in what I do when I find that my art connects or resonates with others, even when they’re hundreds of miles away. Central America still is going through major issues regarding women’s rights and it’s something that I like voicing through my work, in the hopes it reaches the right hearts and minds. I recently collaborated with the “No Estamos Todas” project in Mexico, illustrating a victim of femicide. It’s a horrible side of our reality back home, but one that needs to be talked about and put at the center of our attention. I’m also a cat mother and do volunteer work for the shelter where my cat comes from. I try to help out as much as I can through my work and give back to the community.

What’s coming up for you the rest of 2018? I’m as much excited as I am anxious about this year to be honest. I have some big book projects coming up, one of them being the first children’s book I also do the writing for! I’m also launching some skate related merch mid year, which will include my very first board graphic (keep checking my Insta for updates! :)). I can’t even explain how excited I am!

In between projects I hope to have some time to dedicate to myself and develop my art practice further, working on personal projects and just enjoying the process of creating! Thank you so much for interviewing me!

Follow Rachel | Website | Instagram | Shop | Las Furias

#Art #Vans #Vans Art #Vans Girls #Art School #Rachel Katstaller #Illustration #Interview

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lightsandlostbells · 6 years

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Skam Austin episode 2 reaction

I’m already sad that we probably won’t get a scene of them dancing horribly

Clip 1 - Smoothie talk

I just want to point out that while Meg is checking out Grace online, there’s a drawing on her wall behind her that says MAKE OUT. This is clearly foreshadowing. I proclaim it from the mountaintop.

This is a nice discussion of random crap when you have more important things to talk about. But also an illustration of how they’re not on the same page at all. Now he's mocking something else she likes (meglovessmoothies), kicking her when she's down.

Lol, I’m being hard on this kid. Him dissing smoothies is hardly the least of his crimes. But you exclude her so much, dude! She has no one to do the stuff she likes with her and he left her to do talent night alone.

What I took away from this scene is a craving for a smoothie.

Clip 2 - Call me

It’s a pretty big cultural jump from Noora naming herself after a Twin Peaks character to Grace naming herself after a Dumb and Dumber character.

I think this was a good way to incorporate social media into the clip itself. It’s one of those interactions with a weirdly specific social connotation. The comment being deleted is more suspicious than if it had remained up.

I've seen people speculate why Abby would bother posting on his IG publicly. Maybe because she wanted Meg to see it? Or she really couldn’t get in touch with him any other way.

Clip 3 - Sad girl

It definitely sounds like Tyler said “Abby.” He says “Oh shit” afterwards as if her realized his mistake. Plus he decided to go to the vending machine and Marlon went along, maybe so they could talk about what just happened.

Usually Skam doesn't all-out twist what's happening, what we hear and see if what’s really occurring. Like with Isak hearing Even’s voice while buying his depressing cheese toastie, he's legit hearing a guy who sounds like Even, he didn’t imagine it.

Shay is a bad but adorable liar.

And she seems flirty as hell and I hope I’m not just projecting.

I like how direct and kind Grace is. No Megan messing up with H and inappropriate slut jokes. Some of the characters are on the rude side (us Americans, am I right) and Grace was just sweet, and Megan got her message right when she needed a pick-me-up. Also, no sweating for days over whether Grace will follow her back!

Clip 4 - Chemistry

He's reading The Great Gatsby while Meg reads The Scarlet Letter. Any significance, since they’re going hard with The Scarlet Letter?

“We have chemistry together, you know that.” Yes, we do know that, Marlon. That’s why Meg is worried.

Marlon is such a liar, he can't keep his story straight.

“If you were in my chemistry class I would be texting you non-stop” lol I know he didn’t mean it this way but that has some connotations in light of your current situation, bro.

Clip 5 - Girl Squad together

This is a low standard but I do love how realistic and down go earth all their clothes are.

Kelsey’s red upper lip legit made me laugh. At first I thought she'd been drinking fruit punch.

Jo and Kelsey are ride or die BFFs, I love it.

Kelsey looking scandalized when Grace doesn't know what a Kitten is then her “bless your heart, no wonder you’re so lost!” when she learns Grace is new, tells you all you need to know about her priorities. Also I’ve never heard one of those Southern “bless your heart”s in the wild before, I feel like I’ve spotted a rhino.

Meg: “Who am I?” THEME.

Regarding the formation of a dance team, I have some questions/concerns as to how they would handle that. If it were just a recreational team that’s one thing, but if they can get out of P.E., as Jo says, then it’ll have to be school-recognized, and I’m sure that comes with a lot of rules that you wouldn’t have if you just want to dance for fun. My school required only one year of P.E. for students (thank Goddddd) but you didn’t get out of it even if you were on one of the school sports teams, so I don’t know quite how it works. I had some friends from other schools who joined their schools’ athletic teams as a replacement for P.E., but these were all well-established teams. If Kelsey’s team gets recognized by the school, do they have to agree to a particular schedule? Dance competitions? Performances at school functions and games? So many questions.

Grace, a dance team is a hell of a lot to commit to just to show up an Islamophobe. I mean props to the sentiment but you’re probably going to have to like ... dance, and work out, and get up early and stay after school and stuff.

I also don’t think a dance team is something she can sit out as much as Noora could be whatever about the bus, especially if there’s a 5-person minimum for the team. Grace has to be all in or she’s out.

Is Zoya going to turn out to be an amazing dancer? Did she audition for the Kittens, or did she not bother because she figured she wouldn’t make it? I wouldn’t be surprised if there were a dress code that prevented her from wearing her hijab in performance.

Clip 6 - Losers club

All right, so I kinda loved this clip and kinda hated it.

But boy did I feel bad for Kelsey in this one, in a way that I’ve never felt for any of the Vildes! Because Kelsey was doing more or less what I, a nerd, would be doing if I attempted to form a dance team. Jumping the gun a LOT with reserving yearbook space, but meeting with the principal, planning to raise money, and researching dance routines, all of that is what you should be thinking about. You know … putting together a team.

Kelsey: “I already have the agenda already...:” IDK if it’s scripted or improvised but I’m oddly into them capturing that kind of redundant language that I hear from a lot of teenagers. And well, adults.

Kelsey not even answering Grace’s question about the need for an alternative dance team. She just has an endgame and she’s going to stick to it, gosh darn it.

“Share some of that Kitten secret sauce with us” I’m not going to make a NSFW joke. I’m not.

Actually, what a blast would Jo/Shay be.

I guess what I wonder is why Zoya wants in on a nobody dance team unless she really loves to dance. Like are they ever going to show them dancing? Practicing?

Yeah, going off the earlier point, I feel really bad for Kelsey because she seems like she seriously wants to be on the dance team - maybe just for popularity/social reasons, because she seems to have a very high opinion of the Kittens. But if she’s tried out five times, she’s been practicing for weeks beforehand, and she’s throwing herself into creating a dance group of her own, that also sounds like someone who wants to dance because she enjoys it and not just to boost her social standing.

And with that in mind, although I enjoyed a lot of Zoya’s dialogue, the fact that she stepped in with her suggestion to hook up with guys made me sad for Kelsey in a way that I haven’t felt for Vilde in any other version of this scene. Because russ/parties do have a social element involved that’s at least relevant to getting guys to like you. Druck has an established school party that the girls get assigned to and they just start going out as a crew. Skam Italia did away with the organized squad altogether and just had the girls start hanging out, somewhat formed around getting Silvia a date. But if I really wanted to form a dance team, I didn’t plan on having to hook up with dudes. That’s not a purely social organization, that’s an athletic/artistic/competitive one.

“My plan is to work really hard on our routines” Kelsey :(

Lol somehow I think working hard on their routines will go over better with the principal compared to hooking up with football players.

Zoya says that “you guys” will have to get with the dudes because she won’t, but she includes Kelsey in this, soooo I guess Kelsey is not supposed to be that conservative of a Christian? Or will that not come up?

Jo immediately planning blackmail as a way to get the Kittens to join them - lol, this is the kind of character I enjoy, I love her.

Zoya: “If you didn’t want to be seen as a sexual object, you’d shave your head, stop wearing makeup and start wearing looser clothes.” Grace: “I wear these things for me, not for guys.” Zoya: “Well then I find it very convenient that the things you wear for you are the exact same things that a heterosexual man in America finds attractive.”

OK, that was a completely new bit of dialogue and that was something that got my attention. Because that’s good. Zoya and Grace, as the two most likely feminists of the group, having opposing takes on beauty culture. I saw people objecting to Zoya’s perspective but she’s neither 100% right or 100% wrong. Women have personal choice and preferences to style themselves how they want, including dressing with themselves in mind rather than men, but you can’t divorce that from the larger societal ideals of how women are supposed to look. I make the choice to shave my legs and no one is forcing me to do it, but I also didn’t wake up one day and form this completely independent idea that no one had done before; I had a societal norm to give me the idea. And a lot of beauty standards on women are enforced by patriarchy. It’s a really difficult conversation to have because you’re dealing with the individual (Grace saying she wears these things for herself) versus the collective (Zoya saying it’s not an accident what she chooses for herself also happens to be societally acceptable). Everyone at that table is making their own choices, but within a larger system that sets precedents and ideals. But there are also a lot of assumptions that Zoya is making, such as whether Grace is interested in heterosexual men; Grace could be a lesbian for all she knows. Not to mention that Grace is wearing an average sweater and not much makeup, so it is a leap to think she wants to be seen as a sexual object. All of the girls seem very casually dressed, in fact, and Zoya is wearing as much eyeshadow as any of them, so what’s the difference? Can Zoya say she’s wearing eyeshadow for herself, but the others can’t? To me it’s less whether Zoya is completely right and more about the fact that the ideas were introduced at all.

That’s my rambling way of saying I liked that exchange.

Julie repeating the same camera angle with Sana/Zoya’s back surrounded by her court … sighhhhhhh come on.

General comments:

I guess what’s really frustrating is that there is so much rich material here in the setup that they could spin into new scenes and stories, but I’m not sure if they’re going to do it. Like … we should get them actually trying to dance! I want to see shitty dance montages! I want to see Grace being over it and Jo goofing around and Kelsey trying her best and Zoya defying everyone’s expectations and Meg becoming a crucial part of the team with her experience, finding some purpose and joy again! Let’s talk about clashes between Kelsey and Zoya over the uniforms, let’s talk about the first time they try to perform publicly and it’s a mess (actually let’s not, I would expire from secondhand embarrassment.) Give me all of that dance team drama, played realistically.

But also stuff like Kelsey’s religion and how that plays into the plot (like how DOES she feel about being asked to hook up with guys), how her being a Christian and Zoya being a Muslim should yield both some common ground and some huge differences.

I’m sort of getting the same feeling I had in S4 of Skam where there was so much incredibly rich material to develop, but instead they went with stuff that was much less interesting.

The profanity filter on the FB videos is SO DUMB. There is a mature content warning at the start of every clip. Why do they have to bleep out the swear words?

I get the sense that a lot of the new viewers on Facebook don’t know what to do about the texts and IGs.

Marlon’s text about going to see Avengers makes it sound like the movie just came out, which is probably because the movie was supposed to be released that day (May 4) and was pushed up to April 27. Which I get but part of me’s kinda like, you could have revised that to sound a little more fitting to the date. I feel like Marlon would probably not going to wait a week to see Infinity War.

Also Marlon has overtaken Giovanni from Skam Italia as my least favorite Jonas. He’s not the devil or anything but I definitely don’t want him and Meg together.

Jo and Shay continue to be my faves. They really should have scenes together at some point. Share one of those long candies, Lady and the Tramp-style.

#skamus reactions #skam austin reactions

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fewfwf · 3 years

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riding their bikes more safely on the streets

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