#i almost cried when my family ate pizza rolls in front of me yesterday

[mircalla]

i still have one more wisdom tooth to remove but i already feel like im going insane from the second round of soft food. i am so glad i ate chips the day before while i still could

#i almost cried when my family ate pizza rolls in front of me yesterday #'you can eat that‚ right? that's soft enough?' #NO!!!!!!!!!!

[wifeofkimtaehyungofbts]

Chapter 11

>> Pairing: Taehyung x Y/N, Taehyung x reader

>> Words: 2,379

>> Notes: I’m going to upload a new chapter whenever possible. Please bear with my hectic schedule! You may leave asks and let me know what you think of my writing (:

Synopsis: You run into a rather strange man one night. He seems terrified, as if fighting battles only he can see. He seems detached from the world, talking only to a voice inside his head. Oh, another strange fact: he keeps talking about angels. You discover later that you were the angel he was praying to.

>> Previous / Next

**

“Hey"

I jolted at the sudden voice echoing against the walls of the eerily quiet changing room of the McDonald’s.

Jungkook was leaning against the door. His apron was thrown over his shoulder and he cocked his head at me.

“Wanna go out tonight?”

“Huh?” I wasn’t quite sure I heard him right. Jeon Jungkook. The guy that hardly ever talks to anyone. The handsome guy who shies away from girls at the cashier trying to get his number. The guy who leaves work without sparing a second for an after-work chat with his colleagues. Wants to go out with me?

I continued to stare at him in shock. Instead of breaking the awkward silence between us, he stared back at me. His dark chocolate brown eyes looked deep. Not in the romantic sense. It almost seemed like there was an entirely different person behind them. If the person differed from the one who stood before me in a good way or a bad way, I couldn’t tell. But what I could tell was that if I didn’t reply fast, we'd be staring into each other for all of eternity.

“Don’t you have work?” I raised an eyebrow at him. “You are supposed to fill me in tonight because Felix had an emergency at his house and couldn’t make it”

“I got someone else to cover for me" he shrugged.

I wanted to know more but I figured it didn’t really matter as long as my shift was covered and he didn’t get into trouble either.

“Gimme a minute. I need to wash my face” I said turning my back on him.

As I busied myself removing my hair tie and gathering my hair in a bun, I felt someone lightly brush against my back.  I wanted to turn but it felt too cold.

“You look beautiful Y/N" Jungkook whispers, his warm breath blowing the hair at the top of my head.

In reflexive panic, I grabbed my bag pack and dashed to the girl’s bathroom. I couldn’t calm my racing heart as I tried to shake off the eerie coldness I felt a few seconds ago.

Why did Jungkook come onto me so suddenly? And what’s with the compliment? I mean sure, thank you but it felt so off. He didn’t sound sweet or shy when he said it. He sounded stern, like he was stating a matter of fact I better believe else.... else?

Else what, Y/N? He was going to kill you??

I slapped myself for overthinking and washed my face before hurrying to the front. My colleagues were busy with customers so I couldn’t wave them goodbye. I stepped outside to the chilly air, spotting Jungkook standing by the road. I walked up to him and smiled warmly.

He looked down at me and smiled back. “Do you like pizza?”

“Who doesn’t!” I giggled, already drooling at the mere idea of pizza.

He laughed as we started walking towards the Arthur’s Pizzeria around the corner.

**

We were seated by the window across from each other. The table was too big for just us two, but we were glad no one else attempted to sit with us. It was fine, just the two of us.

We ordered our pizzas and spoke about ourselves as we waited for the food.

I found out Jungkook is from Busan and he was studying music at the campus. He was in fact a top graduate from Busan Arts School along with some guy whose name Jungkook doesn’t remember. He likes to play video games and tries new activities every weekend. Last week he had attempted fishing with a friend of his and they ended up catching no fish but a cold so bad, Jungkook requested for an extension on his vocal exam. Oh, and he hates reading.

I told him about the time I submitted the wrong thesis paper for my semester end assignment and had to retake the whole module all over again in the next semester. He asked my favourite colour, movie and book. He judged me for being a book worm and laughed when I pouted at him in annoyance.

Our food arrived soon and we didn’t talk as we devoured the delicious, thin, saucy pizza. I caught him watching me from the corner of my eye but I made no attempt to eat decently. It’s not like I want to impress him or anything anyways.

Three girls seated at the table next to us wooow’ed at the sight of Jungkook. They turned their attention to me and stared on with disgust.

“What’s someone like him doing with someone like her?”

“God knows! See this is why we never get to experience anything good. Because the good guys are always after someone so random”

“It must be true love if he actually chose someone like her. I mean, look at her hair!”

I could even hear their eye rolls as loud as I heard their words. It pricked and I found myself slowing my eating. I suddenly couldn’t chew anymore. I felt restrained. Like someone had put handcuffs and a leash on me and I had to strain against them to take a bite of my pizza.

Growing up, I haven’t had the most stable family. My fatherless life had involved trying to work odd jobs since I was 13 and missing out mile stones other girls got to experience during their teen years. My first kiss wasn’t under a starry night with my first love, it was rushed and filled with greed at the car park of the local book store. And he cheated on me a week later with the girl who sat next to me at chemistry. The man I first shared a bed with was not looking for a long-term relationship and left me when he found a full time, high wage job at his uncle’s company in New York. My mother was crippling, losing a bit of herself every passing day until one day she came down the stairs to have her tea and I couldn’t even recognize her anymore. My sisters were still too young to understand life and I didn’t want them to see the world as I saw it. I wanted them to have a happy childhood and experience life as any growing child should. They were sent away to my uncle’s and although they were more than willing to also let me stay, I needed away. I left my mother as she screamed indecent words at me one night and took the subway train that led me here. The letter of acceptance from the university was the only good thing that has ever happened to me. I soon became best friends with my room mate who is the polar opposite of me but somehow, we spoke to the same stars and saw life in the same light. My life has always been rushed, difficult to comprehend and there was no easy way through. Having to hear the body that pulled me through those sleepless nights of putting my scared sisters to sleep and locking their doors so my alcoholic mother couldn’t hurt them with her drunk violence, the same body that has cried itself to sleep after carrying stack after stack of recycle paper up 7 flight of stairs for very little pay and a terrible neck and back ache, the same body that is still living and breathing and pushing through, is not good enough, is less, is devastating. It makes me want to cry.

I didn’t ask for such a difficult life. Additionally, my face is the only remainder of who my mom used to be; I am the spitting image of her. The her that was over flowing with positivity and had a heart of gold. The her that lovingly brought my sisters and I into this world and took us cycling and cooked our favourite pasta for our birthdays. To think this face, this remainder of what she looked like, who she was, is less makes my heart crinkle around the edges and burn in the deepest pits of its centre.

“All good?”

I look up to see Jungkook looking at me worriedly.

“Oh yes! I just.... should stop eating else I’ll throw up" I laughed awkwardly.

Jungkook continued to munch on his pizza as he stared at me. He was trying to read the worry in my eyes, the sad drop of the corners of my lips. I couldn’t hide my emotions on my face even if the world depended on it, so I wouldn’t be surprised if any minute now Jungkook presses me for answers and stories. Stories I’d rather keep hidden like I have all this time.

“Okay" Jungkook hums as he takes another slice of pizza. I look at him, grateful he dropped the subject. I watched on as he ate. He didn’t once lift his eyes to mine. He busied himself finishing up his own pizza and the remainder of mine. I wasn’t shocked he ate so much given the fact that he was full of muscle and stamina.

I looked out the window at the busy street. People walked by, carrying the weight of their lives on their shoulders. The lights from cars and street lights looked like stars on Earth from where I was seated. I felt a sudden sense of closure knowing I could disappear into the night, walk mindlessly around these people and no one would know who I am. I’d have no one to explain or compare myself to. Nobody would know what’s going on inside my head. Frankly, nobody would care enough to know. And it felt nice. To not be alive and surviving. I wanted to be light, float over the Earth and find my purpose at my own pace without trying to catch up with the rest of the world only to fall short of breath and lost.

“I don’t know what’s going on in that pretty head of yours, but I’ll listen if you share” Jungkook wipes the corner of his mouth with a tissue. He has cleaned the trays of pizza without leaving behind even a trace of any food being there. I smiled kindly at his words.

“Thank you Jungkook. But I’m not thinking about anything that needs concerning attention”

My smile doesn’t reach my eyes and I know he noticed it. He pays the bill entirely despite me fussing about wanting to split the bill. We make our way back to my house, the breeze a little colder and stronger than yesterday, reminding us of the oncoming winter.

**

I pace the living room painfully slow, waiting.

Waiting for her to come back home.

Daffodil.

I have been practising what I wanted to say as I give her the present over and over again in my head. I had wrapped it neatly in a brown paper bag and tied with an orange ribbon I found on her study table. The wrapping was not at all attractive, but it was neat and I hoped she would see the value of the gift that’s wrapped rather than the wrapping itself.

I look at the time. 09.19pm.

She was supposed to be back a long time ago. I heard her making arrangements yesterday to leave early from work today. I had cleaned the entire house; sweeping the wooden floor boards, removing cobwebs and brushing off the dust that had collected on top of the cupboards and TV.

I did not have a phone on me and even if I did, its not like I had her number anyway. I sighed loudly and slumped on the cold floor. My eyes kept fluttering, threatening to close for hours. My shoulders felt heavy and I couldn’t pull myself up off the floor. I rested my head on the floor and allowed my eyes to close. The coldness from the floor piercing my right cheek was the last thing I was aware of before I drifted off to a sleep full of nightmares.

**

I saw it again.

The playground.

The swing.

The boy.

I was playing in the park around the corner from school. I had sand in my old, torn shoes and my school tie was hanging loosely around my neck. My hair was a mess and sweat dripped off the ends of my bangs. I was having too much fun running around to stop. I sat at one of the swings and turned to face the boy seated in the other.

“Hey!” I waved brightly.

He did not respond, his head bent low and slowly swinging. He had dark brown hair and a piercing in his left ear. I could not see his face because it was surprisingly too dark on the side of the swing he was on. It was almost as if a dark cloud was looming over him, night fallen on the side of the Earth he was on.

I turned away and focused on swinging as high up as I can. However, my merry only lasted for a short while because I had swung a little too high and as I swung back, I was thrown off the seat and face first onto the dirty sand. I got up spitting sand out of my mouth. Any average person would have shrieked in disgust and run straight home for a good shower at what just happened. But I just laughed, almost choking on my spit as I attempted to spit sand out of my mouth.

“Pathetic”

The boy suddenly spoke. His voice was soft, melodic and had a boyish charm to it.

He’d make a great singer if he could sing, I thought to myself.

I turned to look at him, mirth sparkling in my eyes.

“Ha! So you can speak! I thought-” I began but had to stop at the sight before me.

My eyes grew wide in terror as the boy lifted his head to reveal a face with no features except for a gaping hole where his mouth should be. A dark liquid oozed out of his ears, supposed-mouth and where his eyes should’ve been.

My breath caught in my throat as I tried to scream again and again, but no sounds came out.

**

Tag list: @tae-n-u​

#bangtan #bangtan sonyeondan #bts fan fic #bts fan fiction #kim taehyung #kim taheyung x reader #BTS v #bts v x reader #bts taehyung #bts tae x reader #park jimin #BTS jimin #BTS jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook #taehyung x y/n #tae x y/n #bts v x y/n #Angels

[cherrytdatt]

Sadness Ritual pt. 3

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Word count: ~3.6k

Summary: Will Harrison's engagement party solve things between Y/N and Tom?

Warnings: N-O-T-H-I-N-G!

A/N: PART 3 IS HERE!!! after struggling a lot I finally did it. Part of this was inspired by the engagement scene in 'set it up' also know as my favorite rom-com ever so think about that vibe! I hope you guys like it. I really liked.

Playlist: No playlist...I heard so many things...It was a rollercoaster!

Part 1 | Part 2

Three months ago, at 3 am, Tom stood in your kitchen and said the words you wished for months to hear from him. And yet, you felt your entire chest hurt, and you couldn't look at him. You sent him home, and since then, you didn't see him again. But now, the inevitable was coming. Anna and Harrison's engagement party is in one day. You're the maid of honor, and Tom is the best man. Anna asked you if you would be okay seeing him again and, to be honest, you don't know, but it’s her engagement party. You won't deny the presence of her fianceé's best friend and best man.

"Ready for the party?" Anna asked while you two looked at some dresses in some store.

The party would be something small, just family and friends, in Tom's backyard. You wanted to help, but going to Tom's house, knowing he would be there, wasn't in your plans.

"Yeah! I'm so happy for you. And Harrison. Since your first date, I knew you two would get married," you said with a smile. "I remember I said I would be a shitty maid of honor," you said with a laugh. "And Tom said he would be a great best man," your smile faded a little when you thought about Tom.

"Did you talk to him?" Anna asked, already knowing the answer.

"No," you said simply.

"Harrison said he's feeling better, but still misses you," Anna said with a weak voice.

You cleared your throat. "I miss him too," you said almost in a whisper.

"Why don't you talk to him?" she asked.

"I don't know. Things got pretty bad between us. I'm still sad with him, and I'm sure he is sad with me too," you said, and the sadness in your voice was almost palpable.

"I'm sure he forgave you. And I think you already forgave him. You're just afraid," she said.

"Maybe. Let's see how mad I'll be when I see him tomorrow," you chuckled, but your voice was still sad. "D-do you...hum...do know what happened...to the girl?

"Oh, please! He ended things with her the morning after your fight, and never saw her again," Anna said.

"What you think of these?" you asked, putting a black floral dress in front of you, and changing the subject to hide how happy that information made you.

"Loved," she said animatedly.

"I'll try it," you said, going into the dressing room.

You didn't wanna think about Tom and all the situation now, but the talk with Anna got stuck into your head. 'He still misses you'. Her voice was louder and clearer than when you talked. You decided to buy the black dress for Anna's party. Thank God she chose a very casual party, so you could go with comfortable clothes.

"I see you tomorrow," Anna said goodbye, leaving you in front of your building.

You got into your apartment, still thinking about your talk with her. You missed Tom, more than anything in your life, but every time you thought about those pictures, and the fact that he did all that even though he liked you, you felt a strange and bitter feeling in your stomach. All you wanted was to talk to him and solve things, but you felt so afraid of what he would do and what he was willing to do to make things better. 

You used the rest of your night writing some essays you had to finish this week and watching some comedy on TV.

'Hey. How are you? I just wanna say that I can't wait to see you tomorrow. And I want you to know that I'm cool if you decide not to talk with me. I just want you to be okay 🙂' Tom's message took your attention away from the TV. You stared at the text, not knowing what to say. Of course, you wanted to see him, but talk to him would be the best thing? You really didn't know.

'Hi. I'm great. And you? I'm okay talking to you tomorrow,' you typed, throwing the phone on the other side of the couch like it was a bomb ready to explode. "Fuck!" you said, noticing the smile that appeared in your face.

'I'm good. That's good. I miss talking to you. How crazy it is that our friends are getting married?!@#$' The bleep from your phone made you smile again, and you reached for it, reading his text.

'Crazy as shit! We're not old enough for this,' you ignored the first half of the text on purpose. You missed him, but you weren't ready to let him know that yet.

'I keep saying this to Harrison, but he doesn't listen to me lol. But they love each other very much. Harrison showed me his speech, and I cried like a baby,' he said, and you laughed, remembering how easy it was for him to cry. He had a playlist just for that.

'Well, It's not that hard to make you cry lol. I chose not to hear Anna's speech. I wanted to be a surprise,' you confessed. She told you it would be very emotional, so you decided to enjoy with everyone else at the party.

'I don't cry that easily. I didn't even cry in my last movie,' he said, and you remembered you didn't watch the movie with him because the release happened when you were not talking.

'Congratulations on the movie, btw. I heard it's very good,' you said, confessing you didn't watch it. The real reason for you not to watch you weren't confessing. You didn't wanna hear see him or hear his voice. It was too painful.

'You didn't watch it yet? 😱' he asked, and you could see the shocked and offended look on his face.

'I'm sorry. I didn't have time,' you lied.

'We need to change this! This is unacceptable!' he said, and you wanted to invite him over to solve things once and for all. You wanted to sit in front of the TV, with Tom by your side, like you always did, and watch as many movies as possible.

'I'm going to bed now. See you tomorrow at the party,' you cut him off before he could ask anything else, and Tom noticed that. Because in one minute he was smiling at his cellphone, just about to ask you to watch a movie with him, and now he was staring at your last text, questioning everything he could've said or done to make things different.

"Hey, mate. Are you okay?" Harry asked, entering the TV room, and seeing his brother with a weird face, ignoring the TV.

"Yeah. Just...talked to Y/N," he said, pointing at his phone.

"Really? How did it go?" Harry asked, genuinely interested. He saw his brother whining and moping around the house for the last three months. After the pictures got released, Tom freaked out. He had to go to therapy, you stopped coming to their house, and he wasn't that cheerful guy anymore. Now, he was in a good place. Not like before, but he was getting there. And talk to you was the last step to make everything go back to normal.

"It was going back to normal, but then she shut me down. Not aggressively. She just didn't give me the opportunity to make things as normal as before," he said.

"Oh! I'm sorry, man. But that is better than nothing, right?" Harry shrugged. "And you are seeing her tomorrow. Who knows what can happen?" he smiled, and his brother did the same.

To say that this night was hard was an understatement. Tom couldn't sleep. He scrolled through his entire timeline on Instagram, watched a movie, then another one, ate, played video game, and when there was nothing else to do, he decided that 5am was a good time to go to the gym. But not even that helped him relax. He could feel every fiber in his body suffering from anxiety. Tea with his mom after lunch was the only thing that kept his mind calm for a few hours. After that, he went home to get ready for the party. 

There was no set of clothes in his closet that worked. Nothing was good enough. "Hey..." Anna called him from the door. "Want some help?" she offered.

"No. I know you have other things to do. I don't wanna bother you," he said with a smile.

"Not a chance. Everything is settled and I'm ready. Harrison is the one taking forever," she rolled her eyes. "I can help you," she said, getting into his room, and sitting in his bed. "What are your choices?" she asked.

"I don't have any," he scratched his neck, a little embarrassed.

"I think I know what to do," she said, getting up and going through his closet. "It will be simple..." she said, picking up a black pair of jeans and throwing at him. "But very cute..." she picked a black shirt.

"How can a black shirt with a black pair of jeans be cute?" he asked, looking at the clothes she gave him.

"Please..." she rolled her eyes. "You'll look cute," she picked a black cardigan, that he rarely used, and gave it to him. "And will match with the maid of honor, cause she's wearing black too," she finally gave him a white sneaker and a pair of glasses that he liked to use as a fashion statement.

"I'll match the maid of honor?" he asked, biting his bottom lip, trying not to smile.

"Perfectly!" Anna said with a happy smile.

Tom looked at the ground. "I talked to her yesterday," he said, putting the clothes on the bed before Anna could leave.

"And?" Anna said expectantly.

"I was just telling her she didn't need to talk to me today if she didn't want to. But, she said she was okay talking to me," his shrug was trying to sound like he didn't care, but his smile was showing the truth.

"I think you two will work things out," Anna said with a smile, leaning in the doorway.

"I hope so. I miss her so much, it's physically painful sometimes," he confessed with a sad voice.

"I know. I'm rooting for you," Anna said, going to him, and giving him a hug.

"Thanks," he said, and she smiled, leaving him alone.

Soon, the house was getting crowded. The backyard was decorated with fairy lights and wooden furniture. The waiters and waitresses walked around the house, serving beer and pizza.

Tom tried to distract himself, talking to as many people as he could. His mom, dad, and brothers were there since they were practically Harrison's family. His mom was feeling his son's anxiety.

"Are you okay?" she whispered to him.

"Great," he said, but his voice sounded anxious. He kept moving his weight from one foot to another. "She'll be here soon," he said.

"I know. And you'll let her be. Otherwise, you'll scare her," she said.

"Yeah...sure," he agreed. He glanced at the door as he did at least fifty times in the last hour, and for his surprise, this time you were there, taking off your jacket, revealing the black floral dress Anna said you would wear. And you two were matching. Tom's smile grew wilder unconsciously. You talked to some guests that were inside the house and then went outside, joining Anna and Harrison. You looked like an angel. Tom couldn't believe he survived all this time away from you. You looked at him for a second, and he saw Anna whispering something to you. You smiled, widely, and Tom felt like he had won the night.

You walked toward him, going to talk to his family. You didn't see Nikki for so long. You missed drinking tea with her, talking about your life, asking for advice.

"Hey, Ms. Holland," you greeted her.

"Hi, sweetie. Long time, no see,' she said, hugging you.

"Yeah. I was...busy," you said, looking at Tom for a split second and then to her again.

"I imagined. How is everything going? College. Work. Life?" she asked.

"Pretty much the same. I meant to call you a few times in the last months, but I didn't wanna bother you," you said sincerely. You really thought about calling and talking to her.

"Don't be silly. I would've loved talking to you," she said with a kind smile. "Let's have lunch this week. What do you think?"

"I would like that very much," you said, relieved that she didn't hate you after all the drama.

"Dom, look who is here," she said, calling her husband's attention. He said goodbye to the person he was talking to, engaging in conversation with you two. Sometimes your eyes met Tom's, and he noticed a sparkle in them every time you did. He didn't say anything while you were talking to his parents. He didn't want to upset you. "If you excuse us, darling, we're gonna talk to some friends," Nikki said, caressing your arm.

"Sure, go ahead," you said with a smile. They left, and it was just you and Tom.

"Hi," he said softly, trying to contain his excitement.

"Hey," you said, scratching the label of the bottle you were holding, anxiously.

"You look really good," he said, drinking a sip of his beer after.

"Thanks. You too," you were avoiding his eyes.

"Anna helped me choose this," he pointed to his clothes.

"It looks good," you smiled, finally looking in his eyes.

Tom couldn't hold it anymore. His mind wanted to keep it cool, but his mouth was faster. "I miss you. Everyday," he said. You looked at him, and all your worries were dead. All you could think was how much you missed him and how much you wanted him back in your life.

"I..." you started.

"Okay, everyone...it's toast time," Anna said clinking her glass with a fork. You and Tom looked at each other. Tom was afraid he had ruined his only chance. You were sad cause you couldn't tell him you missed him too.

"I'll go first," Harrison said, and some people cheered. "So...Anna. What can I talk about Anna?" he joked. "I'm kidding. I'll just say that the first time Y/N brought you around," he looked at you, raising his bottle, and you smiled. "That day, I knew I would marry you. I didn't say anything cause we were all friends, and I didn't want to scare you. But then, we were watching England's game at the 2018 World Cup, and when we lost, you cried. At that moment, I knew I had do something to make you mine, cause we were made for each other. Two months later I asked you out, and we started dating. Now I'm happy to say that we're gonna cry over the English team together, forever," he said the last part, looking at her. Everyone around cheered and applauded them and Anna gave him a quick kiss.

"Okay, now it's my turn," Anna said, taking a step forward. She was a showoff. "Are you ready to cry?" she asked, looking at him, and he smiled, nodding. I thought I would never find someone that I loved enough to ignore their flaws and accept spending my life with them. Unlike from you, when we first met, I thought great eyes, great body," she laughed, looking at him. "We could be friends. I mean, Tom and Y/N were always together. It wasn't like we could ignore each other," she said, and you and Tom looked at each other. A bit of sadness in your eyes, thinking about how that part wasn't true anymore. "But then, I got to meet you better, I started to see your flaws, and yet, dislike you wasn't an option even if I tried. My grandma always said 'we like because...we love despite...' I like you because you're nice to me, you are my best friend and you always search for me in a room when someone tells something funny, just to see my reaction. And I love you despite you being the last one to get ready, your gym schedule, and all the times you yell 'Wonderwall' in my ear, even though you know I hate this song," she finished. Her eyes were glistening with tears, just like everybody else. It took a few seconds for people to start cheering and clapping them. Harrison hugged her, with a wide and bright smile.

"Great speech," you said, going to her and Harrison, and hugging them. Tom following right behind you.

"I almost cried again," Tom said, hugging Harrison.

"Almost?" Anna asked, her thumbs brushing the corner of his eyes, cleaning a tear that threatened to fall.

"It was a really good speech," he defended himself.

"Thanks," she smiled. "We're gonna talk to...some people. We see you guys later?" she said holding your hand, and you and Tom nodded.

"We're gonna eat something," he said, resting his hand on your lower back, and they left. "Can we talk?" he asked, once Harrison and Anna left.

 "Yeah, sure!" you said, and he noticed the anxiety in your voice. At least he wasn't the only one that was afraid.

He walked to his room, opening the door so you could go in first. You walked to the window, looking at the party that was happening downstairs.

"It looks really good from here," you said. "They are so happy," you smiled, watching Harrison and Anna dance together.

"I'm happy to see you," he said, cutting you off. "I've missed you. Everyone did," his hands were in his pockets, and he was trying to stay calm even though his heart was loud in his ear.

"I missed everyone too. It was good to see your mom," you said, fidgeting with the fabric of your dress. The room went silent. Tom didn't wanna push you, but he wanted to be with you and talk like before. Maybe he didn't think this through. The only noise was the music from the party. "I'm sorry," you said, taking a step forward, and Tom looked at you, waiting. You were nervous. "I'm sorry for pushing you away the way I did," your voice was heavy. "We were both sad and broken-hearted, and I was selfish. I only thought about the pain I was feeling. I'm sorry for ignoring your feelings," you said, and Tom felt his heart beating faster. He never thought about that night this way. He always thought about how much pain he caused you and how guilty he was feeling.

"I should've talked to you. I was so focused on the reasons why we couldn't be together," Tom said, taking a step in your direction. "I never thought about the reasons why we could," he confessed. These last three months he thought a lot about what he did wrong, and not talking to you sooner, giving you the chance to decide if you two could work, was his biggest mistake. "I was a coward. With you, with me, with that girl," his voice was trembling. "And I regret every day for what I did," he finished. You were looking at him, and your expression was unreadable. Even for him, that knew you for half of his life.

"I love you, and I," you started, but then you stopped. Your eyes blinking heavily. "I love you," you repeated after a few seconds, touching your lips with your fingers, looking away from him. It was like you could touch every word. "I...I love you!" you said like you just realized that. You had told him that before, but you were so hurt that you never let yourself feel that completely. Now, standing here, with nothing in your way, that was all you could feel. "I love you..." you smiled, looking at Tom that still had a lost look in his face. "I love you!" you said one last time like you were declaring your feelings for him.

Without giving you a chance to say it again, Tom walked the two steps that were keeping you apart, holding your face in his hands, and kissing you. It was urgent and frantic at first, but then you felt your heart slowing down and it was like the entire world was in slow motion. Your hand went to his waist, holding his sweater, while his fingers tangled in your hair, one of his hands holding your neck, deepening, even more, the kiss.

"I love you too," he whispered against your lips, breaking the kiss. He smiled, looking into your eyes. "And I really think we should go on a date."

~

1 year and 7 months later...

"Lunch is ready," Sam called from the kitchen, and soon footsteps and a door closing were heard upstairs.

"Y/N! You're cheating!" Tom yelled.

"Stop whining. I just closed the door!" you yelled back, running down the stair.

"Racing again?" Sam asked, seeing you enter the kitchen breathless.

"He said he would clean the room if I won," you shrugged. You yelped, feeling Tom lifting you up by the waist. "NO! PUT ME DOWN!" you yelled. 

"You cheated!" he said, carrying you to the backyard and locking you out. He pointed and laughed at you through the glass door.

"I can't believe you are doing this. Let me in. I'm hungry!" you said, crossing your arms on your chest.

"If you wanna get in you'll have to do three things first," he said.

"They are being idiots again?" Harry asked entering the kitchen and seeing you two.

"What's going on?" Harrison asked, and Harry pointed to the glass door.

"Idiots," Anna said sitting on a chair around the dinner table.

"What three things?" you asked.

"First, you'll apologize for cheating," he said and you rolled your eyes. "Second, you'll help me clean the room. And third," he put his hand on his pocket, taking out a black velvet box. He opened the box, revealing a ring, and your eyes grew wider, noticing what was happening. "Marry me?" he said, and you covered your mouth in shock, just like everyone else behind him.

"Yes!" you said, feeling your eyes burning. "Yesyesyes!" you repeated, nodding frantically, while he opened the door, pulling you into a hug.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

#tom holland x reader #tom holland #i’m not good at this and yet i’m doing it #tom holland fluff #fluff #tom holland blurb #tom holland imagine #tom holland fic #tom holland scenario #tomhollandxreader #blurbs #tom holland angst #tom holland x fem!reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x female reader #tom x y/n #tom holland x y/n #tom hollandxreader

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Broken Like Me (Part 9) - Dean’s Better Day

Summary: Dean talks to the reader about what happened the night before and why he was feeling the way he did...

Masterlist

Pairing: Model!Dean x reader

Word Count: 4,500ish

Warnings: language

Saturday

You woke up to a few fingers lightly tracing over your cheek, moving the hair out of your face. You blinked your eyes open a few times, Dean giving you a small smile from where he lay beside you.

“Hey,” you said, catching his hand and pulling it to your chest.

“Hey,” he said, looking down, forcing his gaze to meet yours. “You have really cute bedhead.”

“You too,” you said, Dean shutting his eyes, tucking himself into you again. You moved your arm around his waist, Dean a million times better than the night before but if he needed another cuddle, you weren’t stopping him.

“I’m hungry,” he said after you felt yourself starting to drift asleep again. You popped open your eyes and leaned over, kissing his forehead.

“I imagine. You didn’t eat much yesterday,” you said. You rolled out of bed and went to the bathroom, returning with a cup of water. “Drink. You’re dehydrated.”

He swallowed it down and then another one, looking a bit more bashful as he was waking up.

“Today I’m taking care of you. You have to tell me if you need something, alright?” you asked.

“You don’t think I’m pathetic?” he asked, staring up at you with big green eyes, like the answer carried too much weight.

“No, Dean. I don’t think that,” you said, wrapping your arms around him. “Brush your teeth and put on clean clothes. Come downstairs when you’re finished up please.”

“Okay,” he said, grabbing his bag and going to the bathroom. You threw on something comfortable and headed downstairs, thankfully finding enough things to whip up a few omelettes. Dean rubbed his stomach when he came in, a new pair of gray sweats and a black henley on. “Smells great.”

“S’almost done if you want to grab yourself a drink,” you said. Dean shuffled around the kitchen, pouring a few glasses of orange juice. You dished up the eggs and set a plate down, urging him to sit while you got the utensils. He polished his off fast and you gave him part of yours, ruffling his hair while you cleaned up the dishes.

“We should talk,” he said.

“Go find a comfy spot on the couch. I’ll be in there in two seconds, I promise,” you said with a smile. Dean made his way to the family room while you grabbed a few bottles of water and bag of trail mix, bringing it with you to the family room and setting it on the end table. You tossed a blanket over Dean and got one for yourself as you settled in next to him, turning on the TV to something quiet and mindless. Dean rested his head on your shoulder and your laced your fingers together with his.

“Yesterday was a bad day,” he said. “I was fighting with my dad again. I went over for lunch and we got in an argument and he said I need to grow the fuck up and get a real job and I wasn’t welcome anymore until I did. The information wasn’t like, new or anything. We’ve had this fight before. But then that other model dude said crap about the way I look and I thought he was right and then I thought dad was right and how much of a loser was I and I was a disappointment and I let everyone down. Then I thought about you and I almost called you because I thought, I knew, you’d make me feel better but I didn’t want to bother you and that was a bad idea because I just let all that build up in my head until I was convinced no one gave a shit, including you and I know that’s not true but I just felt like I was going to explode. I felt awful because I knew we were supposed to have a date and then I didn’t want to go because I thought you’d realize you made a mistake with me and you’d dump me and I couldn’t handle that so I went to Dr. Bram’s.

“So I was having a bit of a freakout session there and he was trying to understand everything about what was going on since we haven’t talked lately but then he left and came back and said you were outside for me if I needed you. I lost it at that. Because that meant I was so wrong about you and that you cared about me too. I figured I’d be okay, I heard you up and walking around a few times but you never left and I talked to Dr. Bram for a long time about my family and you and how you’re one of the few people that never judged me and you let me in when if I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t have had the guts. I know you’re so much stronger than me and I just knew I could be okay if you let me be with you. I know that’s too fucking much. We’ve been dating like a month, not even, and it’s not fair to you but I can only bother Sammy so much and I know he loves me because he’s my brother but you could walk away whenever you wanted but you didn’t and you’re still here even though I’ve been blabbering for a good five minutes and I know I cried all over you last night but you’re taking care of me and no one’s ever done that,” he said. He wiped his sleeve across his face, taking a tissue from you when you handed it over and then another, fisting the fabric over his hands as he sniffled.

“I think I’m falling in love with you,” you said. Dean tilted his head up, his face unreadable. “And I don’t think I realized it until last night but I am. I never want to see you hurt like that again. It hurts and I don’t know how to stop it and I wish you got along with your dad but Dean, you are a grown up. He doesn’t hold any power over you. I know you want his approval but if he’s going to beat you down until you feel like this, I want you to stay away from him, at least for a little while. I want you to feel better first.”

“I don’t think I’m falling in love with you,” he said. You felt a lump in your throat, Dean’s hand on your cheek. He leaned over and planted a big one on you, his lips salty and swollen and more forceful than normal. “I know I am.”

“Can I revise my previous statement to say I was being a chicken shit just then and I am too?” you said. Dean chuckled and smiled, pulling you in for a kiss again. “I thought you were always so soft with your kisses.”

“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself,” he said.

“That’s okay. I kind of liked it,” you said, giving him a smile. “I’m going to call Sam and let him know you’re doing a bit better. Then I’ll come back and we can spend the whole weekend together on this couch eating takeout. Sound good?”

“Yeah,” he said with a big smile. “Thank you.”

Saturday Night

“Okay, pizza, pizza. What pizza to order…” you said, handing Dean a menu, staring at one yourself. You had a pretty lazy day, spent in sweats and blankets with hot chocolate, watching the rain on the dreary December day and rom-coms non stop.

It’s was a completely unproductive day but for Dean and you, it was a good one. You knew more about his insecurities, about his problems with his family, about the way he viewed himself. His self-worth wasn’t very high, something he kept hidden fairly well but you opened up to him about your own because of it. You didn’t get into details but he understood and it was like a weight was off you both.

You trusted each other more than ever before.

“Let’s order one cheese and one with everything,” he said.

“Oh, we’re going all out. Fancy,” you said, standing to find your phone to order.

“Only the best for my girl,” he teased. You were gone a few minutes, returning to find Dean passed out on the couch. You sat down next to him, Dean still out, only shifting a little to rest his head on your shoulder.

“I know. Last night took a lot out of you,” you said quietly. “I’ve been there.”

You let Dean have a short nap until the doorbell rang and woke him. He stumbled over to the front door and paid, back with a smile as he carried the pizza boxes into the family room.

“Feeling like you can face the world again?” you asked. He hummed, sitting down before he wrapped his arms around you and tackled you onto the couch, giving you a big, wet kiss. “Dean!”

“Thank you for today...and yesterday. I really needed a lazy day to get my head on straight,” he said.

“Any time,” you said, leaning up and throwing your arms around the back of his neck. You pulled him back into the kiss, Dean chuckling against your cheek.

“I like playful you,” he teased, giving you another, more heated kiss.

“Calm down, we don’t want our food to get cold after all,” you said with a giggle. He sat up and pulled you with him. Quickly he was settled into what he now claimed as “his” side of the couch, a few pieces of pizza piled on a plate in his lap.

As you ate together, you watched him start to get withdrawn again though, Dean subtly shifting away from you on the couch after you’d put away the leftovers.

“Hm,” you hummed, scooting over to him, wrapping your arm around his back and around his waist, giving him a side hug.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“You looked like you were trying to run away from me,” you said.

“It’s getting late. I should go home,” he said, not making an attempt to move.

“Do you want to go home? Not what you feel like you should do but what do you want?” you asked.

“I want to stay again,” he said.

“Then stay. I won’t ever kick you out,” you said.

“Are you sure it’s okay?” he asked.

“Always.”

Dean slept like a baby that night, far more relaxed in bed beside you. You knew his problems with his dad weren’t gone but hopefully the next time he started to feel this way, he would come to you.

Sunday was again a lazy day, Dean even asking if Sam could come over. Sam didn’t pry or budge and treated Dean normally, Dean silently giving him thankful looks at not pressing him for anything. You made sure he was comfortable without you being there before you ran out to a few stores, grabbing some much needed groceries.

“Hey, Y/N,” said Sam when you got back. “Dean and I were talking and Christmas is in like a week and he sort of said since you aren’t getting along with your parents right now, would you want to have Christmas with us?” asked Sam.

“Hey, I was gonna ask her,” said Dean, shuffling into the kitchen, helping you put some things away.

“I’d love to,” you said, looking at Dean.

“Oh, don’t tell me you never had one of those either,” he said, frowning as he held a box of Cheerios.

“I’ve had Christmas before but...it’s like, we don’t decorate or do anything besides open presents that everyone talked about beforehand. It never seemed like we did it right,” you said.

“Well,” said Dean, glancing at Sam. “Sam and I talked and I’m going to try to make up with my dad this afternoon. If I can’t, us three will have our own Christmas. No drama, just a good time.”

“That sounds like a plan. I’d like you to wait until tomorrow night though, after…” you said.

“Dr. Bram’s? That’s probably a good idea,” said Dean. “I can talk through it first.”

“When you go over, I’m going too. I’m telling dad to knock it off,” said Sam.

“Okay. Let’s just enjoy the rest of the day before World War three starts.”

Monday Night

It was six. Sam was home from work and Dean was back from Dr. Bram’s. He seemed confident and knew what he wanted to say. You figured it’d be easier if they called their parents and asked to have dinner, make it less confrontational.

Dean thought having you there might make a fight less likely but honestly, you knew he wanted you there in case things went south.

“Hi mom,” said Sam, walking inside. She greeted the three of you, graciously taking the sweet bread you’d made for dinner. John was watching TV in another room and Dean steered clear of him until Mary was ushering you all around the kitchen table.

“How was work Sam?” asked Mary, knowing a majority of the people at that table didn’t want to be there.

“Good. We wrapped up our big case. Just a bit of paperwork left but I should be able to take a few weeks off for the holidays with no problem,” said Sam, taking a bite of his chicken.

“Y/N how’s that work with you working from home? Do you still get vacation?” she asked.

“Oh yeah. I more or less make my own hours. As long as the work gets done and the businesses are making a profit, they don’t care if it takes me twenty hours or forty to get the job done. Some weeks are more intensive than others but it’s not very stressful. I do very well thankfully,” you said

“I bet your parents are very proud,” she said.

Well, this wasn’t the plan but you looked at Dean and went with it.

“Actually, I don’t have a very good relationship with my parents,” you said, Dean poking at his steamed carrots. “We’re no longer on speaking terms. They never even came to the hospital after the accident.”

Mary looked like she wanted to say that was horrible, John closing his eyes for a moment before he went back to reaching for his beer.

“You know, the son you’ve been disagreeing with recently flew halfway across the country in a moment’s notice for you,” you said, staring at John until he looked your direction. “You’re a shitty dad. You want what’s best for him but do you have any idea what exactly you are doing to him? Do you have a clue about how he thinks about himself? Let me ask you this. He does not hurt anyone in his job. He does not let anyone take advantage of him, trust me. I’ve met his agent and she’d never let it happen. It is not the most glamorous job in the world, or the most manly job but you know what? He helped put Sam through school. He kept you out of debt. He is well mannered and kind and the guy’s got a far better retirement plan than anyone sitting at this table. The son that you want to grow up and get a real job? He’s the one you sent to check on me in that hospital because you were too scared to do it yourself. He’s the one that was my friend when I needed one and he’s the one that told me it’s okay if I do this,” you said, taking off your hat. “He’s the one that was there for me when I didn’t have anyone. He’s the grown up, not you. So you either need to learn to accept him as is or you’re going to lose him. Period.”

The table was silent, everyone staring at their plates apart from John. He had a hard face most of the time but at the moment, it was almost afraid.

“You’re right,” he said, voice louder than you were anticipating. “I didn’t want to see you. I didn’t ever want to see and frankly, I didn’t ever want to know that the accident I caused is going to have lasting effects on you, probably for the rest of your life. I didn’t want to see what I broke and had to be pieced back together. Which is ironic because I’ve been doing it for a very long time to my kids.”

He turned to Dean, Dean’s head up but he wasn’t looking anywhere near his father.

“When did you start to hate me?” John asked. Dean sighed but John held up a hand. “When did you stop trusting me is a better question?”

“The fire,” said Dean quietly, looking at his lap.

“Because I left you in this house alone. You had to find your own way out,” he said. You looked to Sam, Sam giving you a small nod that it was true. “You were only four and I left you alone. Your mom got Sammy and I was supposed to get you. I said I’d come get you, I told you to stay in your room, didn’t I?”

“You never came back,” said Dean, turning his head, narrowing his eyes at his dad. His fists were clenched in his lap and he took a hard swallow. “You were big and strong and you couldn’t figure out how to get the damn door open. So you left me and I waited and I waited and I waited until I couldn’t breathe. And then I found my own way out the window. The jump could have killed me I was so little. But you weren’t even there. No, I limped around to the front of the damn house and you were there with mom and Sam. You never came back. You were never going to come back. I figured out where I fit in this family very early on.”

“So you’ve hated me since you were four?” asked John.

“I don’t hate you,” said Dean, rolling his eyes.

“Then what?” he said.

“What do you want me to say?” said Dean.

“The truth,” said John.

“Fine. I thought you left me there on purpose,” said Dean.

“What?” said Mary.

“I know that’s not true. You did send me to a shrink after all. It’s what I felt though and it has been stuck in my head for a very long time that this family has never needed me. Why do you think I always try to take care of you guys? It makes me valuable but even that wasn’t good enough and I don’t…” said Dean, taking a deep breath.

“We’re done,” said John. Dean lowered his head a fraction, John tsking him. “Done fighting about this Dean. It was never your job to take care of this family. It’s mine. But you’re an adult and so is everyone here. I’m not going to lose you over this. Do I like that you take off your shirt for a living? No. But you’re a good boy, good man, and if that’s what you want to do to support yourself and your family someday, then that’s your decision and I’ll stand by it.”

“Just like that? You changed your mind?” asked Dean.

“I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want you to resent me like Y/N does her parents because they treated her poorly. I want this family to feel like a family,” said John.

“Would you go to therapy with me?” asked Dean.

“For you, yes,” said John, even though the idea clearly made him uncomfortable.

“Okay then,” said Dean, picking up his fork and going back to dinner. You, Sam and Mary shared a look, like you were possibly expecting more but it didn’t come and both John and Dean went back to dinner like the moment was gone.

“I made a pie for desert,” said Mary. “Chocolate.”

“That’s my favorite,” you said, trying to steer the conversation with her onto a lighter topic.

“Y/N,” said Dean. “Why’d you take off your hat?”

“Because I was trying to make a point,” you said with a shrug, reaching to pull the hat back on but stopping when Dean grabbed your hand under the table.

You could feel his parents staring at the scar, Sam not so much but you’d also spent a lot more time with him and he knew how you felt about it. You swallowed and grabbed the hat from your lap, handing it to Dean.

He had tried so you could try too. It was only four people and two of them you already trusted to see you like that. You could get through one meal.

“Is everyone coming over for Christmas?” asked Sam.

“From the sounds of it. Jo had to get her tonsils out over the weekend but she’s already up and around. Everyone’s planning on coming,” said Mary.

“Y/N’s going to come too,” said Dean.

“She’s more than welcome to,” said Mary with a smile. “You’re moving a little fast you two, don’t you think?”

“No, not really. We haven’t even had a makeout session yet,” said Dean, Mary rolling her eyes. “Have we Y/N?”

“I’m not answering that,” you said, shaking your head at him.

After a while, the tension ran out of the room, John asking the boys to help him bring some decorations up from the basement. You helped Mary with a few dishes before you saw your hat on Dean’s seat and slipped it on.

“Y/N,” said Mary. You turned your attention to her, fixing the hat in place. “The accident wasn’t entirely John’s fault. We were having an argument, over Dean actually but I played a part in distracting him.”

“Do you think I don’t like you or something?” you asked.

“It wasn’t all on John is what I’m trying to say,” she said.

“Mary. He didn’t drive into me on purpose. I don’t hate him. I wish I looked the way I used to but I can’t magically go back in time and stop it from happening,” you said. “I can’t go back in time to stop anything bad that’s ever happened to me. I live with it and I move on.”

“The boys say something like that but it’s a little different,” she said.

“It’s a Dr. Bram thing,” you said with a shrug. “Can we please be done with the awkwardness around here? I don’t think any of us can take anymore.”

“Are you going to wear a hat in this house anymore?” she asked.

“I…” you said, fingers grazing the edge of it.

“You are free to wear it, or not wear it. It’s your choice but no one is going to judge you,” she said, holding up her hand and showing the scar on the back of it.

“Thanks,” you said. “Um, is there anything you need help with? For the holidays? Like cooking or-”

“I normally put the boys in charge of making cookies...which is why I normally end up making them myself,” she said with a smile.

“I can bake some and decorate,” you said.

“Perfect. Make a good few dozen of them. We’ll have close to thirty people here for a most of the week,” she said.

“I’ll make a lot then,” you said. Dean and Sam rounded the corner with their dad, all of them a bit sweatier.

“We should head out. I have to head to Kansas City in the morning for a few…” said Dean, trailing off when his father looked at him. “A few shoots.”

“What are you shooting?” asked John.

“Dad, you really don’t care,” said Dean.

“Maybe I do,” said John with a shrug.

“A truck commercial then some farming work boots commercial. They’re back to back at the same place. It’ll still be a long two days,” said Dean.

“What kind of truck?” asked John.

“Chevy,” said Dean. “I don’t remember the boots off the top of my head. I get to keep the pair from tomorrow though.”

“Do you get to keep the truck?” asked John.

“No,” said Dean with a smile. “But I get a paycheck.”

“It sounds like you’re keeping busy,” said John. “Make sure you remember to eat something tomorrow. You always forget when you’re working hard.”

“I know,” said Dean. “I guess we should head out. We all got work in the morning.”

“Okay. We’ll see you kids soon,” said Mary. “And Sam-”

“I know. I’m over this weekend to help put up the lights,” said Sam with a smirk. “Night guys.”

“Well, that went good, right?” asked Dean as he headed for your place.

“Not at all what we had planned,” said Sam, looking over the front bench at you, flashing a big grin in your direction. “You were something else.”

“I don’t want what happened to my family to happen to yours,” you said, staring out the window. “Did that thing with the fire really happen?”

“Yeah,” said Dean quietly. “I know I twisted it in there. I know I wasn’t left behind. I know a firefighter dragged him out of the house but it just…”

“You don’t have to explain,” you said as you pulled up outside your place. “You guys both have work early. I think you should stay at your place tonight.”

“Kicking me out?” teased Dean.

“Maybe when you come back you can have a drawer,” you said, giving him a wink and Dean biting his bottom lip in return.

“Oh God, you two are disgusting,” said Sam, fake gagging in the passenger seat.

“I’ll take you up on that drawer,” said Dean, leaning back in his seat to give you a kiss.

“Text me,” you said when you sat back. “Sam too.”

“Alright, alright. Now get that cute tush out of here so I can watch it walk to your door,” he said.

“Night boys.”

A/N: Read Part 10 here!

TAGS CLOSED

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[bloodiedskirtts]

The Safest Way To Go | Part Four: And I’ll go back to her

Summary: Y/N meets Bucky’s new girlfriend

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: Angst, mentions of sex

A/N: TAG LIST IS OPEN!

Feedback is always appreciated! Thanks for reading. I hope you guys like it! Gif not mine, credit to owner.

Safest Way To Go Masterlist

Y/N spent the night sleeping in Sam’s bed, while he insisted he would sleep on the couch, she wouldn’t hear it. She cuddled into Sam’s chest, trying to fight back tears as he wrapped his arms around her. This wasn’t the first time that he had comforted her after a fight with Bucky. He was surprised that Bucky wasn’t complaining to him as well. Over the years of being friends with these two, he had grown used to helping them through their arguments. All of their friends had become accustomed to it.

However, he had never seen her this broken up about it. He didn’t understand why, they weren’t in a relationship anymore. Hell, they were both seeing other people. And while she claimed it was just because he was her best friend and she hated fighting with him, he knew that was utter bullshit. He sighed as she sobbed into his chest, finally took a nap on his couch, ate some pizza with him, Peggy and Steve, complained about Bucky some more and then announced she was going to bed.

As much as Sam and Y/N flirted, they had never done anything sexual with one another. For Sam that was a line he would never cross. Of course, Y/N thought it would be a great way to get back at Bucky. But she knew that involving their friends in the mess of their relationship that way was going way too far. So sharing a bed involved a little bit of cuddling and a lot of sleeping. Although, she did a snap of them looking very cozy onto her Instagram story. No worries of Grant seeing it, he didn’t have social media, he thought their generation spent too much time glued to a screen.

When she awoke the next morning, she felt much better, she was no longer hungover and had cried all her tears out. She stretched, forgetting why she was in Sam’s bed, until she remembered the fight she had with Bucky. She sighed heavily, throwing herself back on the bed. Sam jolted awake at the sudden movement in the bed.

‘What’s up?’ he asked groggily. 

‘I just have to go back to the apartment and deal with that dickhead,’ she sighed. 

‘You can stay here until you want to deal with Bucky,’ he replied, rubbing his eyes.

‘Yes, well it’s our family dinner today. And it’s Bucky and mine’s turn to bring dessert. So I have to at least to get my own clothes from my apartment.’

Every Sunday, the gang got together (no matter what), with everyone bringing something to serve up. They usually went to Nat and Sharon’s apartment, as it was the biggest of all three. This week, Y/N and Bucky were tasked with bringing dessert, she had decided to bake brownies, But that meet she had to spend at least two hours in her apartment and face Bucky. 

‘You can skip this week, Nat and Shaz will understand,’ he replied. 

Both of them were no stranger to Bucky and Y/N bust ups. Although it never stopped either of them from attending their weekly family dinners.

She snorted, ‘If you think I’m gonna let James Buchanan Barnes stop me from going to my favourite part of the week, you’ve got another thing coming to ya.’

She hopped out of the bed, ‘I need to shower, bake you all the best brownies you’ve ever had and deal with my idiot roommate.’

‘Hey, you can always shower with me. I mean save the water and the environment, all that jazz,’ he teased.

‘Samuel Wilson, you are absolutely despicable!’ she teased, kissing him on the cheek before heading out of the apartment.

She needed to take a shower, she hadn’t managed to fit one in yesterday and she felt super gross today. As soon as she got into her apartment, she pulled off her pyjama top as she made her way to the bathroom. She pushed her shorts off, leaving her in just her panties as she opened the door. She presumed Bucky was still in his room, it was still early, and if he did venture out, it’s not as if he hadn’t seen it all before. However, when she opened the bathroom door, she realised the shower was already on. She rolled her eyes, the one time that he was awake. She decided to brush her teeth first before kicking him out.

However, she froze when she heard a very girly giggle come from the shower. She gasped loudly, it wasn’t just Bucky in the shower. Tears pricked her eyes as she heard another giggle. She turned to leave but knocked over the laundry basket in the corner. Bucky’s head poked out from behind the shower curtain, a shit eating grin on his face.

‘Oh, hey. Didn’t realise you were home,’ he snarked.

Another head popped other, causing Y/N to cover herself with a nearby towel, a blush covering her face.

‘Oh my God! I am so fucking embarrassed! Hi, I’m Wanda! Nice to meet you!’ she said, giving her a little wave.

She opened and closed her mouth, ‘Oh..Yes...I’m Y/N...I should...be...bye...’

She fled from the bathroom, tears forming as she barricaded herself in her room until she heard her apartment door close.

‘And she was fuckin’ naked. He was fuckin’ her in my shower!’ she told Natasha and Sharon, as she perched on Peggy’s lap.

‘I’m pretty sure it’s his shower too,’ Sharon pointed out. 

‘Not since I had to scrub it before I could use it,’ she hissed. ‘Don’t want any of his...’

‘What?’ Steve teased, as he handed her a beer. ‘I’m pretty sure less than 48 hours ago you were all over Mr Barnes.’

She slapped Steve on the chest, ‘You have to take my side on this!’

‘Do we?’ he teased.

She rolled her eyes, ‘Yes, I made a tray of brownies all by myself! And I don’t see his dumb face here. So I am clearly the better friend! And I am better looking!’

Sam raised his beer bottle, ‘I will drink to that my friend!’

‘I dunno...’ Steve teased, winking at Y/N.

‘Wow! Thank you,’ she joked, sticking her tongue out at Steve.

‘I am just saying I have never once missed a family dinner and Bu-’

Her eyes shot to the door when it opened, she almost fell from Peggy’s lap when Bucky arrived, hand in hand with Wanda. Her jaw tensed as she watched him, he refused to make eye contact with her.

‘Hey guys, sorry I’m late. Hope it’s okay that I brought Wanda. Thought it was time she met the gang,’ he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

She rolled her eyes, as Wanda waved from Bucky’s side. Sam smiled at her, before throwing Bucky a look which said, What are you doing?

‘I am so excited to meet James’ friends!’ Wanda gushed.

Y/N made a face at Sam when she called Bucky ‘James’ - no one called him James!

He introduced the tiny auburn haired woman to the group, with everyone welcoming her warmly. However, when Bucky got to his roommate he stuttered for a second.

She smiled, ‘Well at least we get to meet fully clothed this time!’

Wanda laughed at this, that laugh would haunt her - she couldn’t stop thinking about her being in the shower, naked with her Bucky.

Bucky snorted, ‘If that’s what you call covering up...’

She looked down at the shorts and crop top, she was wearing, it was unusually humid for the time of year. She rolled her eyes, before pushing off Peggy’s lap. She was showing just as much skin in her summer dress, but Bucky wasn’t slut shaming her in front of their friends.

‘I’m gonna check on the food’ she hissed at Bucky. ‘You stay, Peg.’

Peggy, Steve and Sam were in charge of preparing the dinner this week, with Sharon and Nat providing drinks and the venue. However, she couldn’t be in the same room as Bucky and that girl a second longer. She was sure she was a lovely girl but she couldn’t stop thinking about her and Bucky in the shower. It turned her stomach.

‘Maybe someone should help her,’ Steve announced as he stared Bucky down.

He let out a sigh, as he helped Wanda find a place to sit. 

‘Sure, I’ll offer up my services,’ he tried to sass, but Steve was in no mood to joke with his best friend

He headed through the doors into the kitchen where she was standing with her back to him. Her hands were gripping the counter top as she tried to compose herself.

‘Hey...’

She spun around to look at him, rolling her eyes, ‘What do you want?’

He sighed, ‘If you’re gonna be childish, I’m not gonna bother.’

‘Me? Childish?’ she hissed, stepping towards him. ‘I’m not the childish one here!’

He rolled his eyes, ‘Sure. That’s why you’re hiding in the kitchen!’

‘Naw, Bucky. Fuck off! Why the sudden interest in bringing coffee shop girl to family night? We never bring outsiders to-’

‘She’s not an outsider,’ he hissed, taking a step closer to her.

‘Then what is she? The future Mrs Barnes? Can I be flowergirl? Cos I’m not wife material. Just a good fuck,’ she snapped. ‘Or, have you replaced that too?’

‘Says the one who had another dick inside her, when my cum was-’

She turned away from him, ‘I am not having this argument, again.’

He grabbed her arm, spinning her to face him, she was dangerously close to him now.

‘You don’t have the right to be jealous,’ he hissed, his breath hot on her cheek.

‘I’m not jealous, James. Just thought you cared more about your friends than some random chick,’ she returned.

‘Oh fuck this,’ he said as his lips crashed against hers. She was taken by surprise at the force of the kiss, but she didn’t complain. She wrapped her arms around his neck as his hands gripped her ass. He hoisted her up, her legs wrapping around his waist as he backed her up onto the kitchen counter. She was moaning softly, as his fingers pulled at her hair. He needed her, his free hand brushing over her tits before moving down between their bodies. He was massaging her aching pussy through her denim shorts, devouring her moans, when the door opened.

He jumped away from her, turning to see Steve looking at them wide eyed. 

‘Jesus fucking Christ,’ he hissed. ‘Are you two serious? Your date is less than twenty feet away, Buck! I can’t, no I won’t tolerate this!’

She jumped down from the counter, her panties completely soaked through and she was aching for Bucky’s touch again.

‘We could handle your bullshit when it was just you two, but you are seeing other people now!’ Steve scolded them.

They looked at the floor, Y/N shuffling her sneaker clad feet, knowing Steve was right. But she couldn’t stay away from Bucky. She didn’t know why she had ever suggested they just fuck, no relationship. She knew she was playing a dangerous game. But she couldn’t give him up.

‘Look, it was a mistake,’ Bucky said. ‘Go out there, we’ll bring out the food in a second.’

‘No, not a chance. If I turn my back you’ll get right back to it. And I’m sure Nat and Shaz won’t appreciate you fucking in their kitchen!’ he retorted.

When they did take their seats, Bucky couldn’t take his eyes off, Y/N. He regretted bringing Wanda as she chatted the ear off him, although he was barely paying attention to anything she was saying. Although she seemed to hit it off with everyone immediately. After helping clear up after dessert, Bucky announced that he had to head off.

‘I have a big assignment this semester. I have a meeting with my tutor first thing tomorrow morning,’ he lied. ‘So I’m gonna head off. I’ll drop you home, Wanda. Y/N do you want get a ride from me?’

She smirked at his words, ‘It is pretty late for me to be walking home alone.’

She knew that she would be walking back with Steve, Peggy and Sam, but Wanda didn’t. 

‘Let me just grab my jacket, Bucky Bear,’ she said, planting a kiss on Sam’s cheek as she hopped up from his lap.

‘So are you two a thing?’ Wanda asked as she watched the other woman sway out of the room.

Everyone in the den started laughing at her words, causing Wanda to blush. 

‘Naw, me and Y/N are just friends. Flirty friends, it drives Bu...’ Sam froze as he noted the look in Bucky’s eyes.

‘What?’ Wanda asked.

‘It drives everyone mad. They think we are gross,’ he recovered.

‘But, we’re all pretty coupley here,’ Steve interjected. ‘Me and Peggy, Sharon and Natasha.’

‘Well then maybe you should make a move on Y/N,’ Wanda suggested to Sam. ‘I mean you two are the only single ones here. And I’m sure you’ve all, ya know...’

She made a sexual gesture.

‘Oh yea, we’re the Ross and Rachel of the gang,’ he faked a laugh, looking at Bucky who was looking super nervous.

Thankfully, the conversation was cut short when Y/N reappeared with her jacket. She waved goodbye to everyone, as she followed Bucky and Wanda out of the door. She fell into step with them begrudgingly, but it soon became clear that Wanda was the third wheel in the situation. Bucky looked at the other woman with such adoration, Wanda was nervous. They were so at ease with one another. She watched as they joked with one another, they even finished one another’s sentences.

‘Do you two have matching tattoos?’ she asked, as she slipped into the passenger seat of Bucky’s car.

He laughed loudly, quickly joined by Y/N, who gripped his shoulder from her place in the back. His hand found hers, sending electric shocks through both of their bodies. 

‘We sure do,’ Bucky said, as he pulled his hand away and started up his car. ‘We’ve known each other our whole life. We even share a fuckin’ birthday.’

‘So on our eighteenth birthday we got drunk and got tattoos,’ she giggled from the backseat.

Wanda barely got a word in edgewise for the remainder of the journey. Bucky didn’t even kiss her goodbye as he dropped her off outside her apartment block. Hell, he didn’t even get out of his car. He seemed especially eager to get home.

While Wanda got into her pyjamas and watched Netflix, Bucky and Y/N were stumbling into their apartment, trying to get the other person’s clothes off as quick as possible. She was a moaning mess within minutes, both of them whispering their apologies as they fell into Bucky’s bed and when they were both spent, she went to leave. 

He reached out to grip her arm, ‘Stay. Please...’

‘Bucky, you told me...’

‘I didn’t mean it,’ he whispered.

She looked down, what were they doing? But she nodded, laying back into his bed and cuddling into his arms.

‘So Hercules or Aladdin?’ he asked, as he grabbed his laptop. 

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The Resident | Shawn Mendes Imagine

(a/n): hello there!! I’m back with this imagine, but as I promised and as you’ve requested, famous (y/n), and Hogwarts Shawn will be back soon 😍🙈. OH AND BTW, i’m not a doctor or anything, I just watch Grey’s so forgive me if there are any mistakes <3.

prompt: Aaliyah needs an appendectomy, Shawn is worried, and (y/n) is a surgical resident.

The ER was way more crowded than usual. 

Your shift had just started and you were exhausted. It was almost midnight, and your prior shift had finished just four hours ago, meaning you had spent your time in the on-call room, and of course one of your interns had decided to almost kill a patient, and your beauty sleep had been interrupted.

It was your turn to cover the ER, and of course some drunk idiots had caused an accident, leaving six people injured and ambulances kept making their way. You sighed as you directed your fellow residents and interns to the different boxes. Attendings were nowhere to be seen, making your existence miserable as  you could hear some patients screaming in pain. You took a quick look to the emergency room and noticed every bed was being attended except for one; you quickly made your way to the bed where a girl was holding her tummy, and a boy who you assumed was her brother or something was beside her with a worried expression. 

The boy seemed relieved when you walked towards them, closed the curtain and took the chart. Aaliyah Mendes.

“Hello, Aaliyah. I’m doctor (y/l/n) and I’ll be taking care of you tonight,” you smiled at her and the boy, who was ridiculously hot. “It says here that your stomach is giving you some trouble?” you asked her and she nodded. “When did the pain start?” you asked her again as tied your hair in a ponytail before washing your hands.

“She complained about it in the morning, but she thought it was going to pass but it only increased during the day, and when we were reaching the hotel she couldn’t even walk anymore.” he answered for her.

“Did you eat something that might have made you feel like this?” you said carefully exposing her stomach before starting to apply some pressure.

“I don’t think so, we ate pizza yesterday and today I ate an apple in the morning, I haven’t been very hungry and I was sure I was going to throw up.” Aaliyah said and the pain was evident in her voice.

You thought you knew the answer to her pain, since all the symptoms matched, but it became apparent when you gently pressed the lower right side of her abdomen and all her muscles contracted as she cried in pain. The boy, who you still assumed was her brother, widened his eyes in worry as he watched his sister, before his eyes quickly found yours, waiting for an explanation to what was going on with Aaliyah.

“Sweetie, I’m so sorry but that’s your appendix.” you sighed as you wrote things down on her chart.

“Oh, you gotta be kidding me.” she groaned when she recovered from the pain she had gone through a couple of seconds ago.

“I’ll start you on some antibiotics for the pain, I’m going to order a CT scan so we can have a clearer picture and know how to proceed. It doesn’t look like we are facing a rupture, but we still have to be sure. After we have the results we’ll know what to do, and it’s very likely that you’ll require surgery.” you informed and the boy looked like he was going to pass out at any minute.

“Surgery?!” Shawn exclaimed. “God, are you sure?”

“It’s a minor procedure, and the cases where the appendix heals itself are very rare.” you said. “I’m going to bring some papers for you to sign, and I’ll come back soon to drive you to your room, okay?” you smiled at the girl who nodded.

You opened the curtains to leave the box when you felt someone grabbing your arm softly. You turned around, not expecting to see the hot boy in front of you. He was taller than you, but someway it felt like you had some power on him since he looked worried, his eyebrows were furrowed in preoccupation and he couldn’t stop bouncing his leg.

“Hey, I’m Shawn, I’m sorry if I’m interrupting you or something but…” he started nervously, but you gently shook your head.

“It’s okay, I’m here to help.” you said giving him a smile.

“Is my sister going to be okay? I called my parents, they’ll get on the first flight here…” he stopped talking since he noticed your confused expression. “We are from Canada.” 

“Oh, really? Well, you can tell your parents that she’ll be okay, and maybe you can relax a bit, too? We’ll take good care of her.” you assured him and he let out a deep breath.

“I’ll try… It’s just, this isn’t how the trip was supposed to end.” he sighed.

You were used to see worried people by now, but there was something about him that made a smile appear on your face. You softly placed your hand on his shoulder in a comforting manner. “I’ll be keeping an eye on her, she’ll be okay. Now, go back with her and I’ll bring some of the paperwork and the antibiotics so she can start feeling a bit better.”

“Some of the paperwork?”

“Yeah, we can save the rest for when your parents get here.” you smiled at him, again. 

“Right, my parents.” he let out a breathy laugh. “Well, thank you so much.”

“It’s nothing.” you said giving him one last smile before turning around.

You checked that your interns hadn’t killed anyone before collecting some papers and antibiotics, you put them in the cart and went back to your patient, who was now dressed in a hospital robe and her legs were covered with a blanket. You greeted the both of them before giving Shawn a few papers and taking your place next to Aaliyah to insert her IV.

“Oh, no please don’t.” Aaliyah said when she saw the IV needle, making her brother laugh.

“Don’t be a wimp, it’s just a needle.” He made fun of his sister, making it obvious that he had relaxed a bit.

“God, Shawn, I’d kill to see you here, crying because you don’t like needles.” she said and you couldn’t help the laugh that escaped your lips.

“I know it can be a bit uncomfortable but I promise it’ll make you feel a lot  better.” you told Aaliyah. “Okay, so we’ll wait a few minutes for the antibiotics to start working before taking you to CT, and after the CT we’ll take you to your room, sounds good?” 

“Sounds perfect.” Shawn said and your eyes found his.

“Okay then, I’ll be around so call a nurse if you need me.” you smiled at them one last time before leaving the room.

Aaliyah giggled, making Shawn turn around to look at her with confusion written across his face since she wasn’t supposed to be laughing at all. “Shawn, you totally like her.”

Shawn’s eyes widened. “Me? What are you talking about?!” He said and Aaliyah rolled her eyes.

“You are so obvious.” she rolled her eyes as she felt the antibiotics start making effect.

The CT scans showed what you had already said. Your attending had paid her a quick visit and asked you to schedule her surgery, and the OR was available at 7:00 AM, which was six hours from now, and in the meantime you had a surgery, but you were going to make sure to make time to be in her surgery since you had taken a certain liking to her, and her brother, but you weren’t going to admit that.

Aaliyah was falling asleep on the wheelchair while you guided her through the empty halls. You opened the door to her room and what you saw next made a silly smile appear on your face when you saw Shawn asleep next to the bed on the typical uncomfortable hospital chair. You gently shook Aaliyah to help her get into the bed. She smiled at the sight of her brother, who woke up when he felt the bed shift. He rubbed his eyes and passed his hands through his hair.

“How is she?” He said getting up and helping his sister.

“Appendicitis, yay for me.” Aaliyah’s sleepy voice said.

“Then, what’s next?” Shawn asked you.

“Her surgery is scheduled at 7 in the morning. Someone will be here around 6 to get her prepped and take her to pre-op. You can rest now, she isn’t in pain because of the antibiotics so, we’re good now.” you said writing some things on her chart.

“Are you going to be in her surgery?” Shawn asked.

“Hopefully. I have a surgery now, and since it’s brain surgery it can take some time but I’ll try my best.” you finished with a smile.

“I really hope to see you there.” Aaliyah said. “I like you, you’re very nice and pretty… Right, Shawn?” she teased her brother who turned red.

“I guess that’s the meds talking?” Shawn said letting out a shy laugh.

“Probably.” you laughed. “Sleep tight, I’ll see you soon.”

You smiled at them before walking to the door, and you faintly noticed Shawn nudging his sister who was falling asleep with a sleepy smile on her face. 

You stretched your arms when your pager went off, announcing it was time for your surgery. It was a pretty important surgery, since you were assisting the best neurosurgeon there was, and the patient was an old lady who was one of the sweetest persons you had ever met, and while she had been in the hospital waiting to get her brain tumor removed, you had gotten to know all her family, including her three sons, two daughters, and fifteen grandchildren. 

You scrubbed in and waited for the neurosurgeon to arrive. You checked the new MRI results for one the time but noticed something off, there was something you were sure wasn’t on the first results. You asked a nurse if she could show you the first results. You wanted to smash your head against the wall when you noticed there was a new white spot on her temporal lobe. The first images hadn’t caught it since it was so small, but it had grown and by the shape and location of the tumor, you couldn’t feel very optimistic. 

The neurosurgeon walked inside and you immediately called him. You didn’t even have to tell him what was going on when you heard him swear under his breath when he saw the white spot. 

“How did we miss this, doctor (y/l/n)?” He asked you, clearly frustrated.

“I checked the last MRI results, and the images didn’t show this… Doctor, we have to save her please, she has this beautiful family waiting for her and…” you were going to continue but the neurosurgeon gave you a look.

“I chose you because you are not one to get attached to the patients, was I wrong, doctor (y/l/n)?” he asked you arching an eyebrow.

“No, I’m sorry.” you apologized, though you wanted to punch something. “What’s the plan now?”

“We are going to do the surgery, and we’ll get to take a closer look to the new tumor. Then we’ll decided if it’s safe to remove it or not, but today we are just removing the tumor on the frontal lobe.” 

You sighed and took your place next to the neuro God, as people called him. The only thing in your mind was her family, and you wanted to kick someone because it wasn’t fair. You were almost sure the attending was seeing through you, so you had to clear your thoughts and completely focus on the brain in front of you.

The tumor had been removed successfully, but now it was time to wait for the old woman to wake up and tell her the bad news. You were washing your hands when the neurosurgeon stepped inside the room.

“You are good, and I get that it’s difficult to not get attached. We always get patients who are especial, but we can’t, and you know that, you’re smart.” he said looking at you.

“Yeah, I guess I didn’t even notice it happened.” you said not looking at him.

“Do you think you can come with me to inform the family?” he asked you and you looked up to check the time, and it was 6:30. You wanted to say no, but it was Neuro God himself who was asking you to go with him.

“Of course.” 

The walk to the waiting room was silent, but once you reached it your eyes didn’t immediately focus on the big family who got up from their seats when they noticed you and the neurosurgeon, but your eyes immediately found Shawn’s frame. He was sitting with his face between his hands. You wanted to go over him and talk him down, but now your attention was drawn to the happy tears shed by the family, you wanted to smile but you couldn’t since you knew what was really going on.

You told the family someone was going to inform them when they could see her. Your attending patted your back before turning around and leaving to the restricted area. You noticed Shawn hadn’t changed his position, you sighed and walked towards him, taking the seat next to him.

“Hey, are you okay?” you said placing your hand on his shoulder.

He jumped in surprise. “Doctor (y/l/n)…” he was going to continue but you interrupted him.

“It’s just (y/n).” you offered him a smile.

His lips curved into a shy smile. “(y/n), I thought you were in surgery.” 

“I was, now I’m heading back to the OR to see your sister.” 

“Yeah… She’s going to be okay, right?” he asked you fidgeting with his hands.

“Every surgery has its risks, but even an intern can perform a successful appy… and your sister is tough, so don’t even doubt it.” you squeezed his shoulder and felt him shudder slightly. “I have to get going now, but I’ll come to inform you right after we are done.”

Shawn nodded and gave you a weak smile. “Thank you, for everything. I don’t think we could’ve asked for a better doctor.” 

“Don’t thank me, I’m just doing my job.” you smiled at him one last time before getting up. “See you later, and maybe you can relax a bit?” you arched an eyebrow.

“I’ll try.” he said smiling at you before you turned around and walked to the area where only authorized personnel was admitted.

It felt like no one was going to be able to erase the smile on your face. Even as you walked to the OR where Aaliyah’s surgery was taking place, you couldn’t stop smiling just by thought of her ridiculously cute brother. You scrubbed in and noticed the still hadn’t put her to sleep. A nurse approached you so you could dry your hands and you knelt in next to her face. She looked scared, but she seemed a bit relieved when she saw you.

“(y/n), thank God you’re here! I thought you weren’t coming.” 

“I wasn’t going to leave you,” you stroked her hair over the hair cap she was wearing. “It will be over before you know it.” you winked at her.

“Did you see my brother?” she said and you noticed her breathing picked up some speed since she noticed the anesthesiologist was standing next to her.

“I did, he was worried but he relaxed a bit…” you told her and she nodded slowly. “Okay, now breathe with me, okay?” you started inhaling slowly and she copied your actions. “Good, now start count backwards from ten.” you winked again, and when she opened her mouth to speak you inched your face closer to hers. “You may be a bit high when you wake up.” you whispered in her ear and the smile on her face was the last thing you saw before she inhaled the happy gas.

You were falling asleep while you were washing your hands again. The clock said it was 8:20 in the morning and your were happy that the night was finally over and you were going to be able to get some sleep. You asked your attending if you could inform the family, and she said yes. You rubbed your eyes and placed your light blue scrub cap on your pocket. The waiting room wasn’t very crowded, and you noticed Shawn wasn’t alone anymore, he was accompanied by a man and a woman who you assumed were his parents, because the woman was softly stroking his hair while the man had a hand on his shoulder just like you had before. 

You didn’t have to walk towards them because the second Shawn noticed you, he jumped from his seat and practically ran towards you, and his parents followed him.

“How is she?” he asked and you couldn’t help the smile that formed on your lips. 

“The surgery was successful,” you informed and they all sighed in relief. “She’s in post-op right now, and you’ll be able to see her in an hour or so after the anesthesia starts wearing off.”

“Thank you so much. We are their parents, I’m Karen and he is my husband Manny.” the woman said shaking your hand.

“You don’t have to keep worrying, she’ll be fine,” you said. “Oh, just to inform you, she’ll be a bit off because of the medications, so don’t pay attention to whatever she says for the first few hours.” you told them and they chuckled. “I’ll be around, so just ask a nurse to page me if you need anything.” 

“Thank you so much, doctor (y/l/n). Shawn has been telling us how good you’ve taken care of our girl and we can’t thank you enough.” Manny spoke for the first time.

“It’s my job, and your daughter is a very nice girl, and so is Shawn.” you said locking your eyes with his. “I have to get going now, but you can wait for Aaliyah in her room, they’ll take her there soon.” 

You said goodbye and stated walking to the nurses station to write something in Aaliyah’s medical chart when you felt someone grabbing your arm.

“Hey, I’m sorry, again.” he laughed nervously.

“Looks like this is the only way you have to get my attention.” you said and it only took you a few seconds to notice it sounded like you were flirting with him.

“Yeah,” he said and the nervous look was plastered on his face. “I just wanted to thank you, again… I know it might be silly but she’s my sister, and I love her, and i can’t help worrying for her.”

“I get it, and I have to say it’s extremely cute.” you said smiling at his flushed cheeks.

“Really?,” he said arching an eyebrow, and it was your time to blush. “Is it okay if I hug you? Just so you can feel how thankful I am, of course.” 

“That’s fine with me.” you smiled and suddenly felt a pair of strong arms around your back. 

You inhaled his scent and closed your eyes. At this point, you didn’t care if someone was watching you, you just wanted to take in every bit of him your hands could feel. Sadly, you had to let go of him, since you were in the middle of the area. 

“I’ll see you around.” he told you before turning around to go back to his parents.

You bit your lip and continued your way. Shawn walked back to the waiting room where his parents were looking at him with a knowing smile.

“You totally like her.” His mother teased him, making his cheeks turn a deep red color.

“What are you talking about? Now you really lost your mind, mum.” he said on a low voice, earning chuckles from his parents.

You had fallen asleep on the first empty on-call room you found, but of course your beauty sleep had been interrupted by your pager. You were ready to yell at your interns, but when you saw your near attending’s name, you quickly composed yourself and went to find him. He was waiting for you outside last night’s patient, and you knew what was coming.

“Morning, Doctor (y/l/n). Did you sleep well?” he asked with a grin on his face. At first you didn’t understand, but when he pointed his hair you knew why. Your eyes widened and you quickly tied your hair into a ponytail.

“I’m sorry.” you apologized.

“It’s okay. You know why we are here, right?” he asked and you nodded. “Good, let’s go.” he knocked the door before stepping inside.

The whole family greeted you with huge smiles on their faces and you couldn’t help it but feel terrible. Annie, the name of the patient, had her usual smile decorating her face. 

“Annie, yesterday we were able to successfully remove the tumor affecting your frontal lobe, but the new MRI results showed a new tumor on your temporal lobe. We were able to take a closer look yesterday during surgery, and I am so sorry but it doesn’t look good.” The neurosurgeon said and the room went silent.

“Is it operable?” Annie asked.

“It is, but it’s a high risk surgery. Due to your age and location of the rumor, there are a number of things that could go wrong.”

“What if she doesn’t have the surgery?” one of the daughters asked.

“She’ll live a month or two with chemo, which will inevitably lead to other organs to fail.” You answered again.

The room went silent again before Annie spoke up again. “I’m having the surgery.” she said and some of her grandchildren spoke up, while others remained silent.

“You don’t have to tell us immediately, you have some time to think.” your attending said.

“No, I’m having the surgery.” she said and you locked your eyes with the neurosurgeon.

“Okay then. Doctor (y/l/n) will book the OR and I’ll let you know.”

You weren’t able to say anything, you just wanted to leave her room and try to forget this had happened. You knew you weren’t supposed to get attached, but you couldn’t help it.

As you walked to the O.R. board, you realized you should probably check on Aaliyah, but right now you didn’t feel like it. You just wanted to sleep until it was time for Annie’s surgery, which had been scheduled for 5 PM today. You informed the neuro attending who told you to be there. You went back to the on-call room and ordered one of your interns to check on Aaliyah. 

-

Your eyes opened at 4 in the afternoon, and now you really felt a bit more recovered. You walked to the attending lounge and noticed it was empty, so you sneaked in and took a quick shower. One of the peds attendings caught you, but she just smiled at you and kept doing whatever she was doing.

You fixed your hair and went to grab a coffee. You were paying when you heard someone’s voice on your back.

“Hey, I hadn’t seen you. Are you okay?” Shawn asked you.

“Shawn, hey,” you greeted him. “Yeah, I’m just a bit tired.”

“Aaliyah is s till a bit high, is that normal?” 

You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped your lips. “She’s younger, so you shouldn’t worry about it.”

“Are you busy now?” he asked you scratching the back of his neck.

“Kind of, I have a surgery now.” 

“Oh…” he said. “Well, good luck.”

“Thank you. Tell Aaliyah I’ll pass by after the surgery.”

“Will do.”

You smiled at him and took a sip of your coffee. You started talking with some of your other fellow residents when you heard your pager. You sighed and got up, throwing away the cup and walking to the OR where Annie was waiting. You took a deep breath as the nurses helped you to put on your gloves. 

-

You took your position next to the neurosurgeon and did everything he said. You had been standing for almost two hours now, and now you were face to face with the tumor, and the doctor didn’t know where to start cutting. He took a deep breath and asked for the scalpel, he securely made the first cut and everything seemed okay. 

You weren’t even halfway there when the nurses announced her BP was dropping, and it didn’t take long for the monitor to start emitting sounds that showed something was wrong.

“Get the crash cart!” the neurosurgeon said and everybody started moving. 

You stood there paralyzed, it felt like everything around you was moving, and when you realized what was going on, you didn’t want to believe it.

“Dammit, Annie. Don’t give up!” you exclaimed as you watched the doctor give her the electric shocks.

“Eight minutes.” one of the nurses said.

It was clear there wasn’t much to do anymore, and as you noticed the neurosurgeon gave her one last electric shock, you knew it was over. You felt your hands shaking, you bit your lip hard, and of course everyone noticed.

“Call it, doctor (y/l/n).” your attending said, but you silently refused. “Doctor (y/l/n)…” you noticed everyone’s eyes on you, and the only thing that was heard on the room was the sound of the flatlined heart monitor. “Doctor (y/l/n), your attending is giving you an order!”

“Time of death, 19:54″ you let out before ripping the gloves off your hands and throwing them away.

You left the room and walked. You didn’t know where, but you couldn’t stop your feet from moving. You just walked until you found yourself in an empty corridor, and just then you allowed yourself to break down. It was everything that had been accumulating inside of you.

You couldn’t control your breathing, you didn’t feel the tears streaming down your face. You placed your hands on your chest, trying to ease the horrible feeling that was taking over your body but you just couldn’t. The room was spinning, and you were surprised that you were able to notice a figure making its way towards you.

“Hey, I’m sorry but i heard… (y/n)? Oh my God, what’s wrong?!” Shawn’s voice said, and you soon felt his arms around you.

You collapsed on his arms, and he didn’t flinch when he felt your weight on his body. Now, your sobs were the only thing that was heard on the empty corridor, and Shawn was holding your body with a strong grip, softly running his hand through your back and hair, and whispering sweet nothings on your ear.

It felt like an hour, but it had only been a couple of minutes when you finally calmed down and allowed yourself to detach your body from his. Your eyes were red, and worry was written all over Shawn’s face, and you couldn’t help the small smile that appeared on your lips.

“What’s that smile for?” he asked running his thumb on your cheek.

“You have the same worried look that you had when Aaliyah was admitted.” 

“Well, you can’t blame me. What’s wrong?”

You could feel your eyes well up again. “This is too much, I can’t do this.” you admitted out loud for the first time. “It’s not fair, she fought her whole life for a damn tumor to kill her. It’s not fucking fair.” you hid your face on your hands.

“Hey, shh…” Shawn placed his arms around you, again. “You are an excellent doctor, and sometimes it all gets a little too much, I get it, but you can’t give up. These are the things that make you stronger.” 

You wiped your eyes and smiled at him. “You are good with words.”

He laughed shyly. “Yeah, I’ve been told.”

“Thank you.” you said. 

“Well, it’s kind of my job.” he shrugged, making the both of you laugh.

You stayed in silence for a bit, with smiled on your faces when you noticed Shawn who was scratching his neck nervously.

“I know this i probably the worst possible time to ask you this but, I was wondering if maybe, we could grab some coffee together one day? I still have a few days left here, so…”

You smiled at his nervousness and arched an eyebrow. “Is it a date?”

“If you want it to be…”

“What if I say no?”

Shawn chuckled. “I’ll accidentally get hurt on the gym.” 

Your let out a loud laugh, your tears now long forgotten. “Coffee sounds perfect, feel free to call me.” you gave him a card with your name and phone number. 

“Are you feeling better?” he asked you.

“I have a coffee with a cute guy, of course I’m feeling better.” you flirted and his cheeks gained a cute pink color.

“I’m just cute?” he asked you arching an eyebrow.

“I guess I’ll have to find out the rest.” you shrugged. “I’ll go wash my face and take some air, and then I’ll drop by Aaliyah’s room. hope to see you there.”

“Don’t doubt it.”

A few minutes had passed since your encounter with Shawn, and now you were feeling a lot better, though you were ignoring the neurosurgeon’s constant pages, you were going to deal with him later, even if that meant no neuro for you for the next couple of weeks.

You knocked Aaliyah’s door and noticed her parents and Shawn. You greeted them all and took her chart to check her last temperature and stuff.

“I was told that you said some pretty interesting stuff while the anesthesia was wearing off?” you asked Aaliyah, whose cheeks turned red in the same way her brother’s did, and her family laugh.

“It’s not true.” she mumbled.

“Don’t lie, honey. We recorded it.” Karen told her, making everyone but Aaliyah laugh.

“It’s not funny, you took advantage of me!” she whined.

“Well, poor lady. It seems like you are doing just fine! I’ll be checking on you during the night, but it looks like you’ll be able to leave tomorrow.” you informed and she smiled.

“You can spend the night here, I’m sure Shawn wouldn’t mind.” 

“Aaliyah!” both Shawn and her mother said at the same time, but Shawn said it with flushed cheeks while Karen was laughing.

“I have other patients, but I’ll think about it.” you joked and locked eyes with Shawn, who looked very embarrassed. “Not having an appendix fits you very well, by the way.” you compliment her before writing some things down. “Try to get some sleep, it’ll help you feel better because I’ll start taking off the medications, okay?” you said and she nodded. “Call me if you are in any pain or discomfort.”

“How can we call you…?” Manny asked and your eyes widened. Aaliyah and Karen’s eyes directed her eyes to Shawn, and then to you.

You ignored the question. “I have to get going, see you later.” you said and left the room.

Silence filled the room for a couple of seconds until Karen and Aaliyah said at the same time: “Oh my God, you asked her out!”

Manny’s eyes widened. “Wait, so you really like the doctor?!” he asked and Shawn groaned.

“I hate you, guys.” he said before walking to the bathroom, leaving his family giggling.

The first thing he did when he locked himself in the bathroom was unlock his phone and add a new contact with your name. He smiled like an idiot as he typed a message.

‘How does tomorrow sound for coffee?’

His leg was bouncing up and down as he waited for your reply. He was aware that you were busy and that maybe it was going to take a bit long for you to answer, which was why he was surprised when he saw the screen of his phone light up, indicating a new message.

‘Tomorrow sounds perfect. I’m free at 4.’

He felt his insides jump in happiness. 

‘4 it is, then.’

He had expected someone to appear on his life, eventually, but never in his craziest dreams he had imagined that she was going to appear because of his sister’s appendix.

#shawn mendes #Shawn Mendes Imagine #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes one shot #shawn mendes au