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wanderinginksplot · 5 months

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One Shot: Captain Fordo + Gear

Captain Fordo x gn!reader. Flirtatious.

Word Count: 5,800

Warnings: fear of heights, descriptions of panic, awkwardness, flirtations both verbal and physical.

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One of your favorite parts of working with the clone troopers was figuring out everyone’s interests and passions. Some were obvious - Cog liked anything mechanical - while others were well-hidden, like Pierce’s skill for baking.

It had been strange in the beginning, watching men who were known across the galaxy as lethal warriors coo over some small thing that had caught their attention. Now, you found it charming and utterly endearing.

You had been in the hangar for less than two seconds when someone called your name. The commanding tone and friendly pitch told you immediately that it was Captain Fordo, but you still made eye contact and let him beckon you over before you changed your course to approach him.

Fordo was one of the troopers you had been working with the longest. He was an Alpha ARC, one of the first troopers the Kaminoans had ever produced. He was taller and broader than most of his brothers, though you suspected some of that was the way he held himself to keep the kama around his waist from getting in his way. That bearing was one of his most unique traits, a remnant of the training he had received from Jango Fett himself.

And, when you were being truly honest with yourself, he was your favorite of the men. He was certainly the one to whom you were closest - every time you were in the same area as him, Fordo made a point of speaking with you, even if it was only for a few minutes at a time.

You had barely gotten into earshot when Fordo started waving something at you. “Have you seen these yet?”

“I can’t even see it now,” you pointed out.

After he rolled his eyes at your comedic squint, Fordo lifted the object up for you. He held it carefully, using his fingertips at the very bottom of it so you could see the entirety of whatever piece of new gear he had managed to pick up.

Because that was his passion. In fact, ‘passion’ might still be putting things lightly. Captain Fordo verged on obsession with the gear that made up his kit. He could always be counted on to find new, obscure things that he thought should be added to the standard gear all troopers carried around. And, since he tested everything himself - on and off the battlefield - he was usually right.

And it wasn’t just weaponry. Tactical gear, survival gear… anything Fordo thought was interesting, he fixated on. He needed to dig in, find out how it worked, how useful it was, whether he could create anything better, and then how it could be incorporated into the current collection of standard gear. He had come up with countless ideas in the past, several of them so clever and helpful that the GAR’s Procurement Department had consulted with him to find the correct materials to purchase.

“Well?” Fordo pressed, one brow arching impatiently. “You can see it now, can’t you?”

You laughed despite the inherent rudeness in his question. He didn’t mean anything by it, it was just how he always was. Fordo was a man of many contrasts. He could be brash and impatient, but he always had time to help a friend or get into the specifics of a piece of gear for someone who didn’t understand how to operate it. He could be flippant, but he also visibly brightened when he saw you. Many people described him as too professional and businesslike, but he always took a moment to show you the newest gadget to have captured his attention.

“I can,” you admitted readily. “But that doesn’t help me much. I have no idea what that is.”

“Let me just demonstrate it for you.”

“Sounds good to me,” you agreed, trying to hide your smile. The brash, flippant, business-like captain was nearly vibrating with excitement as he prepared to show you what the new piece of gear did.

Abruptly, your smile disappeared and you found yourself trying to stifle a gasp instead. Fordo reached out and towed you close as soon as you had agreed to his suggestion. He even wrapped an arm firmly around your waist, holding you against the plastoid of his red-touched armor. There was the noise of a clip and a brief popping sound, but it was nothing more than a backdrop to your raging thoughts.

That simple contact was the first moment you considered that your feelings of favoritism toward Captain Fordo might run a little deeper than pure friendship. The sudden flash of realization made you feel unsteady, like your knees weren’t actually supporting your weight anymore.

And then you looked up.

And then you looked down.

You had noticed that the ceiling of the expansive hangar bay looked closer than it should have as you looked past Fordo’s face, but you still weren’t quite prepared to see the floor so very far below your feet.

The casual, half-startled grip you’d had on Fordo’s shoulders turned much, much tighter as you bit back a squeak of alarm. Past the blood rushing through your ears, you could hear Fordo explaining the new gear to you.

“-about time we developed an ascension cable with the capability to hold two people. It’s gonna make hostage retrieval a lot easier. Or Seppie retrieval. Either way.” Fordo’s shrug made the edges of your vision go white with terror.

The only reason you weren’t screaming was because you were hooked to the cable as well. To be in the hangar bay, all workers had to wear a harness. You had always thought it was a stupid policy, since you weren’t about to climb anything tall, but the way it was supporting your weight as well made you mentally thank whoever had decided on the policy. Of course, if you hadn’t been wearing a harness, Fordo probably wouldn’t have launched you up into the air without more of a warning…

Fordo was oblivious to your fear, glancing curiously around the hangar instead. To be fair, he probably hadn’t seen it from this angle before. You certainly hadn’t, and you would give all of your credits not to be seeing it then. “And the cable itself is longer. Previous versions had a maximum vertical firing distance of seventy-five meters. I just fired this cable at double that distance and there’s still some available to spool- What’s going on?”

“I’m just-” Your explanation broke off in an embarrassing squeak as you rotated slightly. “I don’t- don’t like heights.”

“You didn’t tell me that before I pulled you a hundred meters into the air?” Fordo bit out. The condemnation was sharp, but you knew him too well to be fooled. There was concern behind it. His free hand moved to the small tube that had caused the whole mess, expertly manipulating the buttons.

“If you had told me it was an ascension cable, I would have,” you countered.

Your thoughts were starting to feel a little distant. You had never liked heights, but there was something about this situation that seemed particularly bad. Several things, actually.

These hangar bays were built to hold large ships, and were among the largest free-standing structures in the galaxy in order to accommodate those ships. The demonstration would have been equally bad if you were a dozen feet in the air, but the legitimacy of being scared of such a large drop made you feel extra panicky.

Beyond that, you hadn’t realized how much it would bother you not to see the tail of a rope hanging down below you. That was part of the appeal of ascension cables - nothing for the enemy to grab onto below you. Still, the only thing it meant right then was that you would have no chance of saving yourself if you were to slip.

Finally, a distant but still existent factor was that you didn’t want Fordo to think less of you. He was one of the most competent troopers you had ever met, and you knew part of his tolerance for you was because you did your job well. It hurt to know that your reaction was probably making him think less of you, but the terror raging inside of your chest was too strong to ignore.

A weird pressure came over you, and it took a moment to realize that it was from Fordo tightening his arm around you. “Stay with me.”

“Wh-?” Why was talking so difficult all of a sudden? You struggled to gather your thoughts, then to push them in the vague direction of your mouth. “What do you mean?”

“You look a little…” Fordo trailed off, dark eyes traveling across your face. “Just stay with me.”

Oh. Fordo thought you were going to faint. "I'm fine, I promise. Just scared." You winced at the admission even as you watched Fordo's expression turn to something you couldn't quite place. Scared? That made you sound like a child. "Nervous, I mean."

"Don't worry, little one," Fordo assured you. "I'll get you back down as soon as I can."

Any irritation you may have felt at being called 'little one' was immediately soothed by Fordo's tone. It was almost… gentle. That was strange for him, but appreciated in the present circumstance. Maybe you would just focus on getting through this. You could impress Fordo with your returned abilities when you were back on solid ground.

"Thank you," was the response you settled for. You opted to close your eyes rather than decide between watching the ceiling, watching the floor, or staring at Fordo.

An abrupt lurch made you gasp and you couldn't help your reaction. You reflexively turned, tucking your face against Fordo's chestplate. Plastoid was never the most comfortable material, but it felt like a bit more shelter.

Then you came to your senses and tried to pull away."I'm sorry-"

Fordo's free hand rose to press between your shoulder blades. "Does this help?"

Between his hand wrapped around you and the one keeping you close, Fordo's grip on you did help. There was only one problem:

"How are you holding on?"

Fordo took a moment to answer. When he did, you could hear the smile in his voice. "The ascension cable is attached to my belt."

"And it's sturdy?" you checked. The question was nonsensical, but you couldn't help it. You weren't leaving anything to chance.

"Very," he assured you, his hand gently rubbing your back. "That's what they're designed for. The lift mechanism is too powerful for most humanoids to grip while it's active."

“So the only thing keeping us up here right now is a plastoid belt?”

The shrill question made Fordo pause again, but he was quick to ease your concern. “A belt designed by the GAR to be able to hold myself and any Seppie we might have to retrieve. Including any and every dense-beinged species in the galaxy. Just stay where you are and we’ll be fine.”

You let yourself relax despite the nerve-wracking situation. The slight swaying of the ascension cable was lessening as you got closer to the ground and you couldn’t seem to hear the whir of the mechanism lowering you anymore.

“I have to admit,” you said, begrudging. “I can hardly feel us moving, it’s so smooth.”

This time, the silence before Fordo’s answer stretched uncomfortably long. Almost long enough that you relinquished your place against his chest plate to look up at him. In fact, the only reason you didn’t was because his hand against the back of your head kept you where you were.

“...Fordo?” you asked, uncomfortable with the tense quality of the silence.

“Don’t…” Fordo sighed. “I need you to stay calm for me, okay? We… Well, we’re not moving.”

“Not-?” You tried in vain to pull your head away to look, but Fordo’s grip was firm. “Fordo!”

“I’m sorry, just-” He interrupted himself to bite back whatever he had been about to say. “Just promise me you won’t panic, yeah? This is a delicate situation.”

You didn’t have time to reassure him before his hand lifted away. When you glanced around, you realized that he had been telling the truth. You really weren’t moving any more. And when you looked down, you found that you couldn’t have moved much in the first place. If you were any closer to the ground than when you had started, you couldn’t see the difference.

The ominous creaking of plastoid was the only clue you had that your fingers had started tightening around Fordo’s arm and waist. He didn’t seem concerned about the armor at all, however. No, Fordo’s concern seemed to be for you and you alone. It was apparent on his face, and particularly easy to see in his eyes.

A soft chime rang through the space between you. By the time you recognized it as a wrist comlink, Fordo had already begun raising his arm to his face.

“Captain, you activated your distress signal,” a trooper informed him. “What is it?”

“The dual-carry ascension cable is stuck,” Fordo reported.

Needless to say, the laughter from the other end of the line was not comforting.

Fordo growled something into the comlink, his voice too low and fast for you to catch any individual words. The response came quickly, though you could still hear the amusement in the other trooper’s voice. “Sorry, sir, but Procurement told you it was only a semi-functional prototype.”

“Yeah, then why did they let me take it?” Fordo asked, clearly grumpy. “They had to know I was going to test it.”

“Not with a civvie in tow!”

“Sergeant…” Fordo warned.

Ah, so that was it. Sergeant Chute was Fordo’s second-in-command. He was well-known in the GAR for his careless attitude. Perhaps ‘careless’ was the wrong word. Chute cared intensely about the things that mattered, but everything outside of what it took to stay alive? He simply didn’t have time. Of course Chute would find this situation amusing.

“Sorry, Captain,” Chute said again. After another moment of quiet, he asked, “What do you want me to do about it?”

“Get us unstuck.”

“How?”

Fordo made a low, irritated noise in his throat. “I don’t particularly care how, Chute. Just do it!”

“Okay, let me see what I can figure out.”

The call disconnected and you watched one of the armored figures at ground level walk purposefully away. Without the distraction of eavesdropping on a call, you were left alone with Fordo and the intrusive thoughts of what would happen if the cable stayed stuck… or worse, if it became suddenly unstuck.

Your fingers tightened on Fordo once more. The grip was strong enough that you watched your knuckles pale under the pressure of your own terror. You weren’t entirely sure why you were holding on so tightly - if the cable were to suddenly unsnag and leave you plummeting toward the ground, Fordo would be utterly unable to help you.

“I’m sorry I got you into this.”

The blunt, unprompted apology was a jolt to your internal spiral, pulling you from those thoughts and back into the moment. As much as you didn’t appreciate this particular moment, it was better than being inside of your mind.

“You couldn’t have known,” you assured him. “I don’t really tell people about my fears.”

Fordo shook his head, a wry grin curving his lips. “Not about the heights, but I should have known better than to pull a civilian into testing new gear with me.”

“You didn’t, not really,” you argued, shaken by the implication that Fordo had been callous and careless. “You’ve never treated me like a crash test dummy or anything like that. You just get excited about new gear and you like to show me. And I like that you like to show me. We’re- Well, it makes me feel like we’re… friends.”

“Friends, huh?” Fordo asked, one brow cocked. The satisfied curl of his lips eased something in you, reassuring that he wouldn’t tease you for presuming that your relationship was more than it was in reality. “Yeah, I would say we’re friends.”

You smiled, Fordo’s agreement temporarily pushing back the panic in you. Before you could attempt to articulate your pleasure at hearing that, Fordo’s comlink crackled to life once more.

“Captain, when you’re ready, we’ve come up with a few solutions for you.”

“Finally,” Fordo complained. “What do we have?”

“Easiest first,” Chute told him. “Can you use your jetpack?”

“I don’t have it on me.” His brow creased with something like guilt. “I didn’t want the extra weight.”

“What if we brought it up to you?”

“It’s modified for speed, not carrying capacity. It wouldn’t support both of us.”

You let out an involuntary shudder at the idea. Fordo glanced at you, pulled the comlink away, and said, “Don’t worry, we’re not doing that.”

“Could we bring you an unmodified jetpack instead?” Chute asked.

“We both know the jetpacks aren’t designed for use by multiple people,” Fordo reminded him. “It wouldn’t be able to carry two of us, and I’m not about to sign off on giving a jetpack to a civvie.”

“Suppose not,” Chute agreed. “What if you didn’t go for a sustained jet to the ground? You could feather the engine to slow your drop, then roll when you hit the ground.”

That, somehow, sounded worse than all of the other options. You began to resign yourself to the fact that you were going to live the rest of your life - such as it was - suspended halfway between the floor and ceiling of a hangar bay.

Fordo’s thumb stroked soothingly over your shoulder. “Do you have any plans that don’t center around using a jetpack, Chute?”

“One: We fire a traditional ascension cable beside where you are. You release your cable and climb down that one instead.”

“Interesting…” Fordo said slowly. “How will you account for the distance? Normal ascension cables won’t be able to reach the ceiling.”

“Good point,” Chute admitted. “I think Procurement said they have an ascension cable that’s only been modified to include extension.”

“So it isn’t meant for two people.”

“No.” The sergeant didn’t sound overly concerned about that fact. “But you don’t need it to ascend, do you? You’ll just be using it to climb down. It should be fine.”

“I don’t like ‘should’,” Fordo told him, voice dark.

“Look at it this way, Captain,” Chute said, clearly close to laughing again. “What are the odds that two pieces of equipment will malfunction in one day?”

“I don’t want to think about it.” Fordo sighed, a muscle ticcing in his jaw as he stared at the ground and considered your options. “Okay, get the extended cable.”

“I’ll comm you when everything is set up.”

And then the connection cut. Fordo was still in ‘comforting’ mode, soothing you with, “Sorry about all of this. If I had my helmet, you wouldn’t hear the whole conversation and I could bring you a solution without all of the extra fuss. Just a few more minutes, okay? Then we’ll be back on solid ground.”

“I’m worried about that, too,” you told him. “Fordo, I don’t know if I can lower myself down a rope for that long and not lose my grip.”

He frowned at you. “I’m not having you go down the rope alone. Are you joking? You’re getting harnessed to me and I’ll lower both of us down. I’m not careless enough to let someone with a bad fear of heights climb that far on their own.”

Despite the sass and the rude noise he made at the end of the statement, Fordo’s correction left you feeling… known. He cared enough to consider your feelings and abilities when he was making his plans, even when he was operating in a situation that was stressful and time-sensitive.

“Thank you, Fordo,” you told him, gratitude ringing through your voice. “If there’s ever anything you need from me, tell me. You know, in the name of friendship.”

The handsome captain had started watching you intently halfway through your offer, and - though your addition had made him smile - there was still something serious in his expression. “Since we’re stuck up here for as long as it takes my men to find an extended cable, I’m going to take you up on that right away. Will you answer a question for me?”

“A question,” you repeated nervously. “You can ask me anything any time, you know that. Just don’t make it too tricky. Most of my brain is still busy calculating the odds that I’ll die in the next hour.”

“You’ve always been very open with me,” Fordo agreed. “I just wanted the chance to talk with you when my men aren’t wandering around, trying to overhear.”

That piqued your curiosity, and you found your attention pulling away from the ever-present awareness of where you were. “Ask whatever you like.”

Fordo took a breath. Not a quick one, nor particularly deep, but it was telling. It meant that something about his own question made him nervous. Your interest only grew. “You’re always watching me.”

Strictly speaking, it wasn’t a question, but then, it didn’t really need to be. You knew what he wanted to know. The only question was how truthful you were going to be in your response.

“Because I admire you,” you told him frankly. Yeah, the phrasing was old-fashioned, but it was just vague enough for you to figure out how to proceed once you’d seen Fordo’s reaction to it.

“I- admire you, too,” Fordo said. “You’re smart, and good at your job, and you always ask the right questions when it comes to the gear. You care.”

“Thanks,” you accepted, feeling an uneasy lump in your throat. It should have been nice to hear that you were admired in return, but there was something hollow in it. The only reason you should want to hear something more is if… well, if you felt something… more…

Oh.

Fordo, oblivious to your internal realization, started to move on. “I think I can see Chute. He should have things set up by now. By my estimate, we’ll be ready in-”

“Wait,” you interrupted. “You got the chance to give reasons that you admire me. I want to do the same. You’re excellent at your job and I can tell you care about the men. You always go a little further than you should to complete the mission and it makes me worry, but you’re very good at analyzing the risks, so no one gets hurt. And your love of gear always makes me happy to see. It’s something you’re passionate about, and it makes me feel good that you want to share that passion with me.”

Fordo was staring at you. He didn’t seem inclined to reply and it was starting to make you nervous. You cleared your throat. “But you were saying? How long do you think until we can switch cables?”

“You worry about me?” he asked instead of answering your questions.

“Of course I worry about you!” You took a breath, attempting to calm down slightly. “You have an incredibly dangerous job and I’m stuck here on Coruscant. I usually don’t know what’s happening with your missions until you get back, unless I hear some of the troopers talking. I worry all of the time. I care about you, Fordo.”

“Captain, we’re getting ready to fire the secondary ascension cable.”

Chute’s interruption should rightfully have been a relief, since it signaled your impending descent from the stuck cable. However, Fordo had seemed to be getting ready to reply to your profession of care for him and you found yourself wishing that Chute had taken a little bit longer to get ready.

Fordo, of course, snapped immediately into Captain mode. “Okay, when they fire the ascension cable, they’ll need to check that it’s secure. After that’s done, I’ll switch your harness connection to me instead of our cable. Then I’ll swing us over, attach my harness to that cable, and lower us down. Any questions?”

“Why don’t we attach our harnesses to that cable instead?” you asked.

“Because the attachments are at the base of the cable,” Fordo explained. “To keep it from immediately snapping closed and hanging uselessly from the ceiling, Chute will keep the other end of it at the floor.”

“And he can’t let go once we’re on the cable?”

Fordo’s patience was apparently limitless, since your nervous line of questioning didn’t seem to bother him in the least. “There’s really no point. You’ll be attached to me, so it’s not like we’re going to fall. The biggest unknown right now is whether the extra ascension cable is going to get stuck or not. Maybe you feel differently, but I don’t particularly trust any GAR equipment right now. Especially since we don’t know whether Procurement has any other backups for us to use.”

“I don’t know if-”

Your nervous protests were interrupted by a whoosh, followed by a dull thump as the ascension cable was fired and soared past you to connect with the ceiling. Fordo watched it, then studied the men on the ground with a critical eye.

“It’s time,” he announced after a few moments, turning his attention to you once more. With a steadying touch on your shoulders, he gave a nod. “Just trust me. I’ll have you safely on the ground in a minute or two.”

As hard as you tried to disguise the nervousness, you could feel the way your brow crumpled with a single glance at the duracrete floor so far below.

Fordo’s fingers tightened, pulling your attention upward. His dark eyes were soothing, as was his low voice. “You can be brave for me. Right?”

You nodded, though it felt jerky, like you weren’t fully in control of the movement. Fordo beamed anyway. “I know you can. Deep breath.”

Before your chest had fully expanded, Fordo had wrapped an arm under yours, muscles flexing while he unclipped your harness from the ascension cable and clipped it to his harness instead.

“Okay, there’s the tricky part, already done,” he told you. “Now, I need you to hang on as tight as you can for the next part. You’re attached to me and I won’t ever be away from a cable, so we’re not going to fall either way. But a sudden shift of weight can make things more of a challenge. Do you think you can hold on to me?”

“You’re lucky if I ever let you go,” you told him. Your voice was audibly shaking, but Fordo grinned anyway.

“Thanks for the incentive,” he teased. “Hold on. Swinging over in three… two… one.”

The whole hangar bay seemed to sway sideways and your breath caught. But when it steadied, it seemed more solid than it had the entire time you were on the ill-fated dual ascension cable. The metallic sound of a clip reached you and then you were slowly making your way downward.

You wanted to speak, to ask how Fordo was doing, but you were terrified to distract him in any way. So you kept silent… until you felt your clammy hands beginning to slip against Fordo’s armor.

The ground was far closer now - not close enough that you could hold on until you had finally reached it, but close enough that you wouldn’t die if you fell. In fact, you may not even break anything. Of course, that was all assuming that the harness didn’t hold, but your faith in GAR kit had taken a beating that day.

“Fordo,” you started. Due to your nerves, it came out in a murmur, but he heard you anyway.

“Almost there, I promise,” he assured you, his voice in a low tone that matched yours. It also made you feel incredibly tingly, especially when he added, “You’re doing so well. I’m proud of you.”

The high from that - and the dizzy, stifled fantasies about other situations in which he might say the same thing - almost glued your lips together, but you managed to pry out, “I’m slipping. I don’t want to throw your balance off. Do you need me to unhook myself? I think I can fall from here and be okay…”

You really didn’t want to fall from there. The reluctance was plain in your voice, but you made the offer anyway. It wouldn’t be fair to risk both of you falling, not when you were clear from the worst of the danger.

Fordo’s torso lurched in your grip and you looked up at him, alarmed. That alarm turned first to confusion, then to betrayal. Fordo was laughing.

He glanced down at you, still grinning. “You’re so dramatic.”

Before you could give that the reply it deserved, Fordo stopped your descent, gripping the cable over his head with one hand and using the other to wrap around your side. And then you were biting back a shout. The devastating motion had seemed like you were falling, but it was actually the opposite. You were being pulled upward, further and further until you landed with a thump that left you breathless.

Your new vantage point let you see the way Fordo was gripping the cable between his booted feet, feeding through a bit at a time as you started down once more. It was only when the wolf whistle from the floor reached you that you realized that Fordo had slung you over his shoulder.

Even worse, he kept only one hand on the rope. The other was holding the back of your leg, keeping it pinned to his chestplate. You were grateful that his grip kept you from slipping off of his shoulder entirely, but you wished his fingers weren’t quite so close to the top of your thigh.

“Are you serious right now?” you demanded, trying to reposition yourself so that your butt wasn’t sticking quite so dramatically upward.

“Watch it, civvie. You almost gave me a knee to the face.” You immediately stilled, though Fordo didn’t seem overly concerned about the possibility of injury. “Would you rather fall?”

“I thought I would rather do anything than fall,” you muttered. “This is making me rethink the possibilities.”

Fordo had a nice laugh, even if it was at your expense. At the very least, it gave you something else to focus on instead of the troopers on the ground. They seemed highly amused by the way Fordo was transporting you and were happy to shout out additional suggestions that ranged from bad to worse. The only saving grace was that the rest of the trip was swift.

“Shut up, all of you,” Fordo grumbled as his booted feet touched the ground.

Chute was grinning, you could see it from the gap between Fordo’s chest and arm. “Congratulations on a successful rescue, Captain. You two looked pretty cozy up there, and even more so on the way down.”

“Shouldn’t you be doing something else right now, Sergeant?” Fordo asked sharply.

“I don’t have anywhere to be until fourteen-thirty,” Chute told him, sounding extremely smug about it.

“Good.” Fordo snatched the handle of the ascension cable from him, pressing a single button and letting the small cylinder soar up until it hit the ceiling with a barely audible thunk. “Then you and the men can work on getting those cables unhooked, respooled, and returned to Procurement.”

Chute wasn’t smiling when Fordo walked away.

“Can I get down now?” you asked. You were starting to get a little dizzy from the angle of your head, but that wasn’t the full cause of your lightheadedness. If only Fordo would stop stroking his thumb against your skin!

“Of course, just let me get a little further away from those idiots.”

True to his word, Fordo carried you just a little further toward one side of the hangar bay. You could still watch the troopers attempt to figure out the ascension cable conundrum - and did watch, with glee - but you were mostly out of earshot.

Fordo took a gentle hold of your hips and let you slide down from his shoulder. It was a slow process, since he was clearly taking pains not to frighten you or make you feel like you would fall. Unfortunately, the major effect was that his fingertips dragged over you as you moved further and further down. Nothing inappropriate, of course, but you still felt flustered.

When you were finally on solid ground once more, you gave Fordo a nod and a half smile. “Thank you, Fordo. I’m glad that worked out as well as it did.”

“Hold on, little one,” Fordo commanded, apparently having sensed that you were going to rush off. “We’re still connected.”

You watched in sheepish interest as he unhooked your harness from his own, Fordo’s strong hands working the clasps in a way that encouraged your intense study.

“And before you disappear, we should go to the mess.”

That made you blink. “The mess?”

“You’re probably feeling a bit of adrenaline from that, aren’t you?” Lying wasn’t an option, not when Fordo was already giving you a skeptical look. When you nodded, Fordo echoed the motion. “Yeah, I figured. When it starts to leave your system, you’re gonna feel terrible. It’s better if you have something to eat and drink. Let’s go.”

When he put it that way, it made sense. And, you had to admit, you were feeling a little hungry. “Okay.”

Fordo held the door for you, following as soon as you had stepped through.

“Remind me while we’re eating and I’ll give you my comlink frequency.”

Your head snapped over toward him so quickly that your neck protested. “Why, exactly?”

Fordo watched you evenly, a hint of a grin on his face. “Well, now that I know you worry about me, I want to make sure you can reach me any time you need to.”

“And if you’re in a war zone?” you asked. To your surprise, your voice sounded normal, even when it was coming from a mouth that had suddenly gone dry. What exactly was Fordo trying to do?

“I won’t answer,” he said with a shrug. “But any other time, I’ll pick up and put your nerves at ease. And… you know, even if I’m on-planet, I’ll pick up. I never mind making time for one of my favorite people.”

Your heart seemed to stutter in your chest as you gave Fordo a sidelong glance. He was doing the same thing, both of you trying and utterly failing to be subtle.

Before the moment could turn awkward, you grinned at him. “You’re going to regret that, Captain. I get very worried…”

Fordo beamed at the way you had bumped him with your shoulder. “Looking forward to it.”

---

Author's Note - This was my first time writing Fordo and I had a bit of trouble with him! Sorry if he's OOC, but I had fun. He just strikes me as being really sincere, even when he's teasing!

I discontinued my taglist, but you can read my writing on @wanderinginksplot-writes or find my masterlist here!

#star wars #star wars fanfiction #star wars legends #captain fordo #clone captain fordo #star wars the clone wars #reader insert #fordo #fordo x reader #fordo x you #reader insert fic #reader #ink's fics #clone troopers deserve better

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justagalwhowrites · 1 year

Text

Lavender - Ch. 26

A trip outside the QZ turns dangerous. A continuation of Lavender Ch. 1-25 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Injuries from canon-typical violence. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI, 18+ only.

Length: 5.2k

Tuesday, June 6, 2023 - Two Years Later

“I’m not doing this with you again, Joel,” Tess snapped, staring him down from across the table. “I’m not letting your obsession…”

“It’s not fucking safe, Tess,” he cut her off. “When was the last time we went out and didn’t run into raiders? Last two months have been especially bad…”

“You think it’s safe for you and me but not safe for her?” She demanded.

“No, it’s not safe for anyone,” he snapped back. “But you I trust to actually kill someone, you can take care of yourself. Who knows what the fuck she would do if she gets picked up by fuckin’ raiders…”

“Who knows what you would do if she gets picked up by fucking raiders, that’s what you mean,” she knocked back the rest of her drink. “I’m done with this shit, I’m done with your paranoia around Doc dictating our goddamn operation…”

“When have I ever dictated a damn thing about our operation?” His jaw clenched.

“How about when you told your brother, our partner, to leave town without consulting me because she got hurt?” She said. “Or when you killed not one but fucking two FEDRA guards in the QZ because you saw them as a threat…”

“They were a fucking threat!”

“Not to mention the time you made the call to leave me in the QZ when you took her outside the first time,” she snapped. “Even though you knew you’re a goddamn liability where she’s concerned! You need to get over this woman who you’ve had nothing to do with in damn near 15 years, Joel! She’s done with you, you need to be done with her. Fucking leave it.”

She went to leave but he followed her.

“You take her out there and I’m not goin’,” he said. “End of story.”

“Tell me what the fuck it is you want, Joel!” She yelled. “Because it sure seems like you don’t want to be anything to anyone. You didn’t want anything with me! It sure seemed like you could have had whatever you wanted with her and you didn’t take it and now you’re doing this and I don’t fucking understand you! Do you really think she’s just going to accept us not bringing her out anymore? That she’ll just listen to whatever the hell it is you tell her? Because you’ve got a funny taste in women if that’s what you’re after…”

“She isn’t one of us, she doesn’t have to know when we go out!” He yelled. “No one says we have to involve her in shit, Tess…”

“And when she asks?” She demanded. “When we need more medical gear?”

“We bring Andrew out,” he said. Tess stood there for a moment, just blinking at him. “He talked to me few weeks back. Wanted me to consider bringing him instead of her, he’s worried too. He’s heard shit from other smugglers and guards about what it’s like out there. He’ll go, she’ll still get what she’s after and he will actually fucking look out for himself. Besides, the chances of raiders trying to grab him are a whole hell of a lot lower than with her.”

“His wife know about this plan?” Tess asked, a bit calmer now.

Joel shrugged.

“Not my business.”

She looked at him, shaking her head.

“You better pray nothing happens to him,” she said. “Because if it does and she finds out it was your doing…”

Joel shrugged again.

“Long as she’s alive to hate me?” He said. “I don’t give a shit.”

Tess sighed.

“Fine,” she said, resigned. “Talk to Andrew. Tell Doc, don’t tell Doc, whatever. I’m done trying to make sense of your shit with her.”

She stalked toward the door.

“Going to the Speakeasy,” she said. “Appreciate it if you didn’t join.”

Joel sighed. He could hardly blame Tess, not when she was right. He poured himself more whiskey. He’d never been able to find a balance he felt like he could survive with you. There was so close that it felt like he was on the edge of a cliff and gravity was winning. The feeling that he was inches from destruction. But then there was so far that felt like he was stretching and reaching, part of him always trying to get to you. It didn’t matter what else it strained, what else it hurt, there was the constant pull toward you. There was no middle ground. There was either too close or not close enough.

He went to the clinic when he knew you’d be at school but Andrew still greeted him with a “She’s not here.”

“That’s the point,” Joel said. “Here for you. Rather she not know. Have a minute?”

Andrew flagged down a woman to watch the desk and led Joel outside the clinic.

“Next run, I’m not takin’ her,” he said. “Still interested?”

“Why the change?” Andrew frowned. “You weren’t going for that before.”

“Raiders are getting bad,” he replied. “You and me they’d just kill. Her…”

Andrew nodded.

“Can’t tell her,” Joel said. “Not until we’re back, she’ll try to stop you going.”

“Trust me, I know,” Andrew said. “Luckily, Doc is Doc and she keeps a thorough log of what meds she’s after and what’s she’s used. I won’t need to ask her for shit.”

“We’re heading out this weekend,” Joel said. “It’ll be a few days. Make sure your wife’s on board.”

He just nodded and Joel was thankful, once again, that you had a friend like Andrew.

***

“Doc,” Ellie sighed dramatically, drawing the word out as she trudged into your classroom and flopped into a desk, putting her head down. “I’m so freakin’ bored.”

“Hi, Ellie, I’m doing well, thank you for asking,” you smiled. “How are you?”

She raised her head enough to glare at you before putting it back down.

“If all I’m going to do is go shoot infected for FEDRA why do I have to know about verbs?” She asked.

“Because everyone needs to know about verbs,” you replied. “Can’t read or speak without them.”

“Can they make them less boring at least?” She lifted her head again. “Because right now they feel stupid as fu… something stupid.”

“Want something not boring?” You asked. Her head shot up. You smiled conspiratorially. “I got you stuff.”

“Oh fuck yes!” She winced. “Sorry. Heck yes?”

You just laughed and went into your school bag, pulling out photo copies of books that were in libraries of other schools that Derek got you into when he’d go teach his photography course. Ellie came and stood in front of your desk, leaning over to see what you were grabbing.

“Got this whole thing on black holes,” you said, handing her a packet. “This one on a probe that is still probably flying through space and should be past Pluto by now.” You gave her another packet. “And then this on roller coasters.” You gave her a magazine.

“Hell yeah!”

You gave her a look.

“What? I said hell,” she said. “That one doesn’t even count.”

“Go sit in your corner you gremlin,” you rolled your eyes but smiled anyway.

“Gladly,” she smiled, chin tilted up, and took her bundle of pages over to the beanbags. She started with the roller coasters as you put on a tape and started grading tests.

“Hey Doc?” She said after a few minutes.

“Hm?”

“Did you ride roller coasters?” She asked. “Was that like… a thing everyone did or was it kind of special?”

“Well,” you shrugged. “It kind of depended. Most people did at least once but it was still kind of special. There weren’t roller coasters near where I lived as a kid and my grandma didn’t have much money but I went to a theme park with a friend once when I was about your age. And a few times with a friend and his daughter when I was in college. I rode some roller coasters then. They were pretty fun but most of the time when you went to theme parks, you spent a lot of time waiting in line.”

“Ew,” she crinkled her nose and went back to reading.

“Hey Doc,” Riley trudged in.

“Hi Riley,” you said, holding out the book she’d been reading when she came to sit with Ellie. She took it and went and plopped on the other beanbag chair. “Rough day?”

She just grunted.

“I’m here if you want to talk,” you said, going back to grading.

You weren’t surprised when she didn’t take you up on it. Ellie was far more likely to talk to you than her older counterpart. She’d come to your classroom almost every weekday for the past two years. For a while, she was pretty quiet. She’d bring in her reading or take from the shelf and go sit in the corner. You didn’t press her. A few months in, she’d do more than ask you questions about her reading. She talked about her classmates, the issues with FEDRA teachers and administration, about the comic books she liked. You’d started looking for the series she mentioned when you went to the underground markets or were outside the QZ as well as books about space. She’d quickly become a bright spot in your day.

Riley, on the other hand, had become more withdrawn the last few months. She’d never opened up to you the way Ellie had, but she seemed to like you better than her other teachers and she always put in an effort in class. But lately, she’d been tired, preoccupied. You’d tried talking to her but hadn’t gotten very far - something made all the more frustrating by the fact that you were pretty sure there was no one else at the school checking in with her. She was at risk of falling through the cracks of the system and you weren’t sure you were enough of a net to catch her.

Derek was always trying to tell you that you couldn’t save everyone and, consciously, you knew he was right. But that didn’t stop you from trying.

It’s part of why you’d pressed so hard working on your cordyceps treatment theory. It took years - literal years - of working with samples and trying different formulations but, earlier in the year you’d found something that actually seemed to work. The right chemical combination delivered in the right way and the samples didn’t grow. They stayed in the tissue where they’d been implanted, not stretching beyond it.

“Do you know what this means?” You asked Elias, all but shoving your notes into his hands. “We could make it so a bite isn’t a death sentence. It’s not going to cure anybody but it can make it so people can leave the QZ, go near infected to wipe them out without needing to worry as much… I mean it still needs trials but…”

“It’s a great idea,” he said, sounding exhausted. “But do you really think we’ll be able to get the powers that be to divert manufacturing to synthesize it? Let alone the process it will take to make the factories to produce the stuff?”

“Elias, we’re talking about something that can start getting the world back,” you looked at him, baffled.

“I know,” he clapped a hand on your shoulder. “And I’m telling you that I don’t know that there is a world to get back.”

You just stared at him for a moment in disbelief.

“I’ll run it up the chain,” he said. “But… I’m not optimistic.”

He walked away, leaving you alone with your notes in your hands.

So you did the next best thing you could think of. You found Marlene.

“This is…” she looked through your pages. “I mean, I don’t know shit about the science of it but your tests…”

“They’re not tests on living subjects,” you hedged. “I mean, in the before times we’d be years out from human trials but give that the bitten are pretty much dead men walking, if we can equip people going outside the walls with this stuff we can always just see if it works when the inevitable happens… It’s not a cure and it’s by no means a sure thing but it’s a start.”

“I’ll take a start.”

You weren’t able to get anything more out of Riley before the weekend and Andrew was out at work on Saturday, which made you oddly nervous. Marta said Jess said he was sick but something felt off. He’d been fine on Friday…

Derek was convinced you were being paranoid but you still woke up feeling uneasy on Monday.

Riley missed class entirely that day. Ellie looked particularly downtrodden at lunch but didn’t say much. When you asked if something was wrong, she just shrugged, looking distracted.

Andrew was still missing when you got to work.

“I’m sure he’s fine,” Derek said when he came to meet you that evening. “He probably just has the flu or something. I’m sure Jess would have gotten you if it were anything serious…”

“You’re right,” you sighed. “I know you’re right. I just… something doesn’t feel right.”

It set your teeth on edge. You couldn’t sit still, tapping your pen on charts when you had a patient, the front desk when you didn’t.

“Can you not hover?” Marta asked. “I’m not Andrew, for me it’s just weird.”

“Sorry,” you sighed when the front door of the clinic flew open and Tess and Joel came running in, all but dragging Andrew between them.

Your eyes went wide. Andrew was covered in blood, his head hanging limp. You screamed for help as you ran for him.

“What happened?” You frantically pulled at his clothes, trying to get to his skin. His face was pale and his eyes were closed. You looked back over your shoulder. No one else was coming yet. “Help me!”

“We were almost back,” Tess said quickly. “Raiders came out of fucking nowhere, Andrew was in back…”

You got the bloody shirt raised enough to see the bullet holes. You scrambled to stem the bleeding as Kristen and Lee came up from the back. You kept your hands on Andrew’s stomach, your skin turning red with his blood, trying desperately to hold him together. They started trying to move him and you moved with them, hands still on him, until someone held you back.

“You can’t help him,” Marta’s voice was thick, wet. “You can’t do it, it has to be someone else…”

“I can…” you reached for the doors but she held you in place.

“You can’t,” she said. “You’re too close, you can’t.”

You weren’t sure when you’d started sobbing but your face was wet and your vision was blurry and you were too covered in blood to do anything about it. You turned to Joel and Tess.

“Why was he out there?” You asked. Tess looked at Joel. You raised your voice. “Why was he out there!”

Tess looked at Joel again. He just stared at the ground.

It was like something in you snapped. Everything you’d tied up in him for decades, everything you’d felt, everything you’d longed for, everything you’d imagined existed for yourself in another time and place and world with Joel at core of it. It broke open, spilling out of you in a rush.

You shoved him. He didn’t move to stop you.

“It’s you, it’s always fucking you!” You pushed him again. “Decided you were done seeing me so you dragged him into it!” You threw your entire body weight at him. He caught you and held onto you until you forced him back. “I can count on one FUCKING HAND the number of people on this planet who are happy I exist and you had to take him? You hate me that fucking much?”

Joel’s eyes finally left the ground and met yours. He was was in so much pain you could almost feel it. You stopped pushing him. His shirt was covered in your bloody handprints.

“He has a wife! He has kids! He fucking matters to people and you dragged him into this?” You were panting for breath, still crying. You didn’t think you could stop crying if you tried. “I’ve spent half my life in love with you, Joel, half my fucking life begging to matter to you and instead you just…” A sob choked you for a moment. “I wish I’d never fucking met you. I wish you never touched me. I wish you never called me that night I wish you never came to fucking Boston I wish you just got the fuck out of my life and left me alone!”

You went to shove him again but arms appeared behind you and Derek pulled you back into his chest, holding you in place.

“I hate you!” You snarled it at him. “I wish it had been you, it should have been fucking you!”

He just stood there, staring at you for a moment as Derek held you tightly to him, before Joel turned and left. After a moment, Derek’s grip on you loosened. Your head spun.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Tess was staring at you. “You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about…”

“Fuck off, Tess,” you snapped. “You could have put a stop to it, you could have just not let him come…”

“Not Andrew,” she shook her head, stepping close to you. “Joel. How dare you. The shit he’s done for you, the shit he’s gone through for you…”

“For me?” You snapped. “No, it had nothing to do with me! It’s always been about him, Tess, and you’re a fucking idiot if you don’t see that.”

“You could have walked away at anytime,” she all but snarled at you. “You could have actually stayed away from him, told him no when he fucking caved and you never did, you never fucking did…”

“You think it’s my fault?” You snapped. “All his shit…”

“You could have left him with me!” She yelled. She took a second to calm down. “You could have left him with me and you fucking didn’t. You just hung on…”

“Of course I did,” you said, quieter now, too. “I didn’t have a choice.”

She looked at you, the side of her shirt wet with Andrew’s blood.

“I’ll go tell his wife,” she said. “I hope he makes it.”

You felt unsteady on your feet and Derek’s arms went around you guiding you to a seat in the empty waiting room. You looked down at your hands, splotched with drying blood. Andrew’s blood. You stared at the wall.

Jess came in. You weren’t sure how much time had passed but she was frantic. You stood up and she grabbed you, choking on her tears. You held her loosely, still in a daze, and she sat beside you, holding your bloody hand. Derek’s hand was on your back. You stared at the wall. You weren’t sure if you were really blinking. You weren’t sure time was passing. You weren’t sure how long you sat there. The blood on your shirt hardened as it dried. Jess’ hand stayed firmly in your own.

Lee came out from the back and you and Jess jumped to your feet, hands still clasped tight.

“It was close,” he said. “But he pulled through.”

You didn’t really hear anything else Lee said after that. He let you back to see him and he was just coming around when you did, his eyes heavy and voice groggy.

“What happened?” He managed after Jess had fawned over him for a minute.

“You were a dumbass who went outside the QZ,” you tried to sound upset about it but you were too happy to see him alive. “What were you thinking?”

“Wanted to be the cool one for a change,” he smiled a little at you. You just rolled your eyes.

“I’ll give you two a minute,” you leaned over and kissed his forehead. “But I swear to God Andrew you pull that shit on me again…”

“I know, I know,” he said. “You’re the cool one and you’ll kill me to keep the title.”

You went back to the waiting room. The clinic was closed but it was shortly before curfew and Derek was standing near the door.

“Hey,” you sighed, coming over and pressing your forehead into his chest, expecting his arms to go around you. They didn’t.

“He looking OK?” He asked. His voice was distant. You frowned.

“Yeah,” you pulled back from him. “Everything OK?”

He laughed darkly.

“No, no I can’t say everything’s OK,” he shook his head. Your frown deepened. “Is Joel the reason you wouldn’t move in with me?”

You froze. You had been so mad at Joel you’d forgotten that Derek was even there. Derek, who you’d never told about Joel.

He pressed on.

“Is Joel the reason that, when I asked if you thought about children, you said no?” He asked. “Jesus Christ, we’ve been together for almost seven years and you never thought to tell me you were in love with another man? A man you were regularly leaving the QZ with?”

“Derek…”

“Did you ever love me at all?” He looked like he was on the verge of tears. “Fuck, I tried to build a life with you!”

“Of course I love you…” You were crying again. You weren’t quite sure when you started. “I just… It’s different and… Nothing happened with him, it’s been years, it’s been so long and…”

“But you still loved him,” he said. “Right? You were still in love with him the whole time you were with me, right?”

You didn’t say anything. You just tried to keep from sobbing.

“That’s what I thought,” he ran a hand through his hair, turning away from you. “Fuck!”

“I’m sorry,” you whispered. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you I just…”

“You just what?” He asked turning back to you. “You just thought you’d lie to me forever?”

“I just thought I could love you,” you said. “I do love you, it’s just not the same as him but I thought… I thought it could be. That if I ever could with anyone it would be with you because I do love you, I want to love you that way, I want a life with you…”

“Wanting it just isn’t enough,” he shook his head, a look of sad disbelief still on his face. “Especially not after you lied to me for half a goddamn decade. It’s just not enough.”

“Derek…”

“I’m sorry,” he shook his head. “I can’t do this, not with you. I hope you get what you want someday, I really do. But I can’t do this.”

He left and you stared out the front door, into the darkness, for a while. You weren’t sure how long. Eventually, you walked in a daze to Andrew’s room. Jessica had her head down on one side of his bed, his hand on her head. You pulled up a chair to the other side of him.

“Hey,” he whispered.

“Hey,” you managed a smile.

“20 years later and we’re still the codependency crew,” he smiled back.

“Yeah,” you sat down and put your head down beside him. “We are.”

Tuesday, August 15, 2023

“You know you don’t need to keep coming over, right?” Andrew asked, smiling down at you from the couch, his head propped on his fist. “Don’t need as much help now…”

“Who said I was coming over for your benefit?” You scoffed. You were lying on your back, baby Jonah - named for Andrew’s father - on your chest. He was big enough that he was just starting to run and it seemed like he wanted to do that and nothing else. You swooped the toddler toward your face and blew a raspberry on both cheeks before lifting him straight up overhead, making whooshing sounds. He giggled and clapped his chubby little hands. “I’m clearly just hanging out with my best friends.”

Elizabeth came over and hung her head over your own, her curls bobbing as she cocked her head at you.

“Auntie Doc,” she said, her voice very serious. “Did you know your teeth are bones?” “Are they really?” You said. “Thank you so much for telling me, that is very big news…”

“We’re reading a book about the body,” Jess flopped on the couch beside her husband. “We learned about the skeleton today.”

“OK sweetie, Auntie Doc’s arms are getting tired so you have to move so I can bring your brother in for a landing,” you said. Elizabeth scrunched her nose but obeyed, stepping to the side so you could bring Jonah back down to your chest.

“Who needs the gym when you have tiny humans to lift, hm?” You kept a hand on Jonah while reaching out to tickle Elizabeth, who shrieked and giddily fled toward the other side of the coffee table.

“Alright tiny ones,” Andrew clapped his hands on his legs. “Bed time, let’s go.”

He got up - slowly - off the couch and you lifted Jonah so he wouldn’t need to bend all the way down to reach him. Elizabeth whined all the way down the hall. You smiled.

“I know a lot of it didn’t work out but damn,” Jess sighed. “You’d be such an amazing mom.”

Your heart clenched at that.

“Thanks,” you said quietly.

“Are you planning to stay here again?” She asked. You lifted your head to look at her.

“I feel like you’re asking me not to,” you smiled a little.

“Not exactly,” she crinkled her nose. “But Andrew had his follow up today with Lee and…” she glanced down the hallway before lowering her voice. “I really want to f-u-c-k my husband now that he’s cleared for it which is a little tricky with you there.” You laughed.

“I mean I guess if you want to have THAT kind of relationship with the guy,” you said dryly.

She laughed, too.

“Look, I’m definitely not kicking you out,” she said. “Lord knows he probably cock blocked you enough through the years when I was outside the QZ for work. If you won’t be OK at home, stay here with us…”

“No,” you sighed. “I need to get used to it.”

You’d hardly been to your apartment since Andrew got hurt. You’d only slept there twice since outside a few naps here and there. Otherwise, you’d been at Andrew and Jess’ place. At first, it was to help with the kids. Or that was the excuse you told yourself, anyway. Andrew had barely even made it into the apartment after being released. He needed help doing everything for weeks and you wrangling the kids gave Jess the space she needed to take care of him. The clinic had all but removed you from the schedule while Andrew recovered, you coming by for a while on Saturday and Sunday but otherwise just teaching and helping them. You’d started going back for a few hours most days but you were still at Andrew and Jess’ place all the time otherwise.

You knew your apartment was going to feel lonely. Not just because Derek was gone but because you’d smothered the loss with Elizabeth and Jonah and the feeling of being needed. It was time to get back to real life.

“You’re sure?” She said. “Because I mean it, you can just move in if you want…”

You laughed at that.

“No,” you shook your head. “I’ll go home. It’ll be good for me, I need to start adjusting.”

“Hey,” she said, making you look at her. “You know we love you right? Me, him, the kids? Because we do.”

You smiled.

“Love you too.”

You were right, your apartment was lonely. The air was stale and everything had a fine layer of dust. You made a mental note to try to set aside time to clean the place the next day, it desperately needed some TLC. As you went to bed you sighed and opened the bedside table drawer. Below a few notebooks was the picture of you, Joel and Sarah.

It hadn’t sat by your bedside in years now. You took it out sometimes to look at when you were home alone but it always went back in the drawer when you were done, tucked away. Your fingers traced the contours of their faces. You wondered what Sarah would look like now. She’d have been the same age Joel was when you first got together - a little older, actually. That was difficult to picture.

It was hard to think of her in that way. She’d gotten stuck in time, forever nothing but potential. She hadn’t figured out what she wanted to be yet, so you had a hard time picturing her having a career - just images of her looking happy and successful. But you could picture her in a wedding dress, Joel walking her down the aisle with a proud smile on his face. Her cradling a tiny baby with his mother’s springy curls and his grandfather’s nose. Her giving advice to her little sister - now a teenager with long dark hair and her dad’s warm brown eyes - about how to survive college.

It didn’t seem to matter how much Joel seemed to hate you, how much you desperately wished you could hate him, he’d been built into you somehow. You couldn’t shake him, no matter how hard you tried.

You put the picture back in its spot beside your bed and tried to sleep, feeling more alone than you had since Joel left you before the outbreak.

It wasn’t a deep sleep. When there was a quick, quiet knock at your door, you woke with a start. You frowned, glancing at the time. It was well after curfew. You got up and looked through the peephole and saw Ellie, huddled against your door.

You fumbled with the locks, rushing to get the door open. She hadn’t been in class in a week, you’d asked several administrators where she was and no one would give you a straight answer. You’d gone by her room to check on her and she was nowhere to be found but she hadn’t taken much with her if she’d left. You were about to go to Elias and try to leverage what little FEDRA connections you had to see what records they had about where she’d gone, see if you could get to her. Riley had vanished, too, and you just prayed Ellie hadn't gone after her.

Instead, she’d shown up at your door. You’d given her your address and schedule months ago when she showed up in class with a black eye.

“You ever feel unsafe,” you said. “Come to me. I will help you, I will drop whatever I’m doing and I will handle it, OK?”

“OK,” she said.

She hadn’t shown up with a black eye since. You hadn’t pressed.

“Ellie,” you pulled her into your chest the second the door was open. Her eyes were teary. She looked exhausted. “Where have you been, what’s been going on? I’ve been asking administration where they sent you but…”

“Doc,” she sniffed as she pulled back from you and held out her right arm. You gasped, your hand going to your mouth. There was a vicious bite there, the teethmarks deep in her flesh. “I’m in trouble.”

A/N: AND WE'VE REACHED THE SHOW TIMELINE BUCKLE UP FOLKS!

Yes, everyone got super blown apart this chapter. That's the goal, they're at their most emotionally vulnerable just at the start of this big trip, it's going to be great and angsty and they're going to be forced to reckon with their shit because it's right at the surface heading into these extreme situations GET READY!

I have a taglist that I do my best to keep current, so if you'd like to be added please comment below!

Thank you so much for reading and interacting and getting into this story I decided to write one day. It means so much to me that you're invested in it and I love you all!

Taglist: @paleidiot @ayamenimthiriel @ginger-swag-rapunzel @drewharrisonwriter @flugazi @pedropascalsbbg @taoyuji @starstruckmusiciansartghost @splendsay @bigboiseason123 @jpbplvr @ashleyandring @mrsyixingunicorn10 @sloanexx @ninaminaromina @lady-bellyn @hufflepuffriver @sarap-77 @storyarcscribe @mellymbee @jasminedragoon @lemonmeli @reds-ramblings @arizonadaydreamer @mumma-moonchild @blackroseguzzi @candypeaches16 @kittenlittle24 @wrappedinfiction @oatmeaiboy

#fanfic #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #enemies to friends to lovers

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atalante241 · 4 months

Text

Why does anybody live in Liyue, my god

The place has common droughts, in ancient times then becoming so bad that they started fucking gas lead plagues

For some reason the place was filled with people vying for the Geo Archon role leading to so much fucking fighting

Said fighting lead to literal piles of corpses in the wilderness causing more plagues which necessitated Wangsheng funeral parlor into being

In the middle of all of this, there were normal humans just trying to survive through the war which most likely lasted several generations

Also the fact that a gods death apparently causes massive damage to their surroundings

All the dead gods left their malice to just hang around, and now thousands of years later that shit can still give monsters power ups

Rex Lapis literally had to raise the whole fucking thing out of the ocean, that shit should be Fontaine underwater map 2.0

The Chasm

Just, the gates to the underworld/border that you can just go to if you’re adept enough in dead stuff

No but seriously why were there so many beings in Liyue while Sumeru just went “I don’t want it you have it” “k”, and Mondstadt was the people’s rebellion helped along by Barbatos and the archon role was offer to Andrius but he said no so Barbatos got it, in Inazuma there was also fighting but I remember nothing, and didn’t celestial just give it to Egeria (we know nothing abt Natlan and Snezhnya)

Also the two recent sea monster attacks

Liyue is also the only place where we’ve been warned abt being spied on, and I get it bc money land = business = corrupt business

We did not almost get poisoned tho, that prize goes to Fontaine

The disorganized-organized crime wave of the treasure hoarders literally everywhere

The recently-present day danger of being wiped out by an angry adeptus

The random evil spirits hanging around (Shenhe’s childhood and the fact that being an exorcist is a proper job)

That fish you just ate could’ve been sentient bc animals can gain sentience and becomes adepti

The archon just died/failed a divine trial

(The archon can be literally anyone in the crowd be he apparently just does that)

The danger of some random funeral consultant barging into your restaurant’s kitchen to teach you how to cook properly

Shady ass government (Yelan’s whole role/job)

That one fucking sailor who’s now cheating on 6 different women

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mostlysignssomeportents · 2 years

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Universities secretly sold their students to online casinos

End-stage capitalism’s defining characteristic is making money rather than making things. Think of how Jack Welch destroyed GE by transforming it from a manufacturing company to a financial engineering shop:

https://the.ink/p/like-capitalism-itself-business-journalism

Hospitals are invoice-generating factories with a sideline in medicine. The electronic health record only incidentally records your health. Its primary purpose is to record your billing-codes:

https://www.beckershospitalreview.com/ehrs/physicians-spending-nearly-2-hours-a-day-on-ehr-tasks-outside-work.html

And universities? Ugh. Most universities now have more administrators than faculty:

https://www.jamesgmartin.center/2022/08/administrative-bloat-harms-teaching-and-learning/

Much of that “administration” comes down to begging alums for money to funnel into vast endowments, but heaven forfend those endowments would be used to cover payroll and other essentials, even in a pandemic emergency:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/reneemorad/2020/04/21/harvard-under-fire-for-accepting-nearly-9-million-in-coronavirus-relief-funds/

Nor are endowment funds available to pay the education workers who actually teach students, but can’t afford the rent, food, or family:

https://www.capradio.org/articles/2022/11/14/nearly-50000-university-of-california-graduate-student-employees-launch-open-ended-strike/

The point of the endowment is to increase the size of the endowment — not to improve educational outcomes or research. That’s why Harvard is “A hedge fund that has a university”:

https://www.wsj.com/articles/a-hedge-fund-that-has-a-university-1510615228

This is the overwhelming logic of capital: capital exists to increase capital, and the underlying mechanism for that increase is irrelevant. This was the reasoning behind the surreal bid to sell the .ORG nonprofit registry to a secretive hedge-fund.

The point of the .ORG registry is to host domain records for nonprofits; incidentally, this throws off some extra money that is turned into grants for public interest projects. The board decided to sell off .ORG so it could make more of these grants, despite the fact that this would compromise the mission of hosting .ORG domain records:

https://www.eff.org/press/releases/org-domain-registry-sale-ethos-capital-rejected-stunning-victory-public-interest

Likewise, this was the reasoning of the Mountain Equipment Co-Op board when they decided to sell off the member-owned co-op (“the most trusted brand in Canada”) to a US private equity fund without consulting the members:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/09/16/spike-lee-joint/#casse-le-mec

The expand-capital-at-all-costs mindset is a virulent species of brain worms. It’s the basis for surreal movements like effective altruism, which encourages people who want to do good for the world to sell out to the most toxic industries on Earth, amass gigantic fortunes, and then, upon their death, donate them to causes that in some way remediate the harms they themselves wreaked:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earning_to_give

In his new book Survival of the Richest, Douglas Rushkoff calls this “The Mindset” — “I need to make vast amounts of money, no matter what the consequences, or I will not be able to afford to insulate myself from the consequences of how I made all that money”:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/09/13/collapse-porn/#collapse-porn

Once you let people with The Mindset anywhere near your institution, they will take it over and turn it into a paperclip-maximizing killing machine, one that abandons and then betrays its mission to increase its profits, eventually killing its host. Anything that can’t go on forever will eventually stop:

https://doctorow.medium.com/anything-that-cant-go-on-forever-will-eventually-stop-110ba9711133

That’s what’s happened to higher ed. It’s not just the payroll full of starving adjuncts, facilities workers, etc. It’s not just the way that universities join forces with textbook monopolists to gouge their students:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/10/07/markets-in-everything/#textbook-abuses

Beyond academics having to rely on food-stamps, students going into lifetime debt to enrich predatory textbook monopolies, and the other horrors of financialized higher ed, there’s the special evil of college sports.

Like all finance-bro motivated reasoning, college sports are sold as a way to do well by doing good: “Look! We’re giving poor people a chance at a great education based on their physical prowess, and we’re racking up tons of money for the university!”

But — like all finance schemes — college sports is a self-licking ice-cream cone that destroys the lives of the people who generate value for it, even as it devours its host institution from within.

Did you know that until very recently, college athletes weren’t allowed to make a penny from their labor?

https://www.scotusblog.com/2021/06/in-unanimous-ruling-court-agrees-with-athletes-that-ncaa-violated-antitrust-laws/

Did you know that those same athletes experience lifelong brain injuries?

https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2791303

Did you know that college sports are a cesspit of long-term, officially tolerated sexual abuse?

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2021/nov/30/ohio-state-michigan-doctors-sexual-abuse-college-football

Did you know that the highest paid public employee in many states is a football coach at a state college?

https://www.profootballnetwork.com/highest-paid-college-football-coaches-2022/

Did you know that college coaches conspired with the rich parents to steal sport-related admission slots from poor kids and give them to mediocre winners of the orifice-lottery?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Varsity_Blues_scandal

In many universities — whether public or private — the sports program effectively runs the show. Take the University of New Hampshire: back in 2016, a university librarian named Robert Morin left his life’s savings to the school after 50 years of service. Morin lived frugally for that half century and amassed a personal fortune of $4m.

He believed so deeply in the university’s mission that he turned it all over to the school without any restrictions. Talk about earning to give! The university blew Morin’s gift on a new jumbotron for their sports stadium:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2016/09/16/university-to-buy-1-million-football-scoreboard-with-thrifty-librarians-money-outraging-critics/

The people who see universities as inconvenient adjuncts to exploitative sports teams know that there are still rivals within higher ed who think the point of the school is to educate students.

That’s why the universities that arranged to allow sports gambling websites to target the young people in their care did so in secret.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/11/20/business/caesars-sports-betting-universities-colleges.html?unlocked_article_code=AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACEIPuonUktbfqYhlSVUZAybfQMMmqBCdnr_EybEnj2XlaTONTixe1KEfDpSc-kHCILdlZsU-xS-aWN5MK_okQ_h2w-BSJAptVwys6NOiqagyHh8U-8i1T39kmNXER6w5-jvnKWDmIe5ymOTn-hvbbzH1XKzbg2lxIVpvvZY2d12t3yMDwKmVFfVnmYUrhYdXDZ54TT8KZiWY7bK_W1glZoLwPlyL4RI2WupZRTnQgdWfjrsCew5TAl7FJ2httSd-sJgPfYNKY9usakIoa8H8gr4OCmd3LYvPBpQ5RILck70Coqf9dPDE9RFVhqXegnp2EK4F

Writing for the New York Times, Anna Betts, Andrew Little, Elizabeth Sander, Alexandra Tremayne-Pengelly and Walt Bogdanich reveal the extraordinary corruption and depravity of college administrators who colluded with sports book companies to bring gambling to campus.

Implicated in the scandal are such top schools as Michigan State, U Colorado Bolder, Louisiana State, Syracuse and Texas Christian Univeristy (mission: “to educate individuals to think and act as ethical leaders and responsible citizens”).

On the casino side, the major player is Caesar’s, which is only fitting — Caesar’s was driven to bankruptcy by private equity who managed to financialize a casino into ruin:

https://www.ft.com/content/a0ed27c6-a2d4-11e7-b797-b61809486fe2

Caesar’s offered universities millions of dollars for the right to directly sports betting to students. The MSU deal, brokered by university officials Paul Schager and Alan Haller, was worth $8.4m. That is to say, Caesar’s was asking the university to help it drain at least $8.4m from students’ bank accounts in order to turn a profit.

Louisiana State U did a similar deal with Caesar’s, and then embarked on a direct marketing campaign to sell sports gambling to students who were too young to legally place a bet.

LSU says this was a mistake. Cody Worsham, a university official who holds two offices — associate athletic director and chief brand officer (!!) — said that Caesar’s and LSU “share a commitment to responsible, age-appropriate marketing.”

Meanwhile, U Colorado Boulder struck a deal where it earned a $30 bounty every time a student went from non-gambler to gambler — in other words, Boulder didn’t make money by advertising gambling to students — it made money only if its students started gambling.

These student gambling programs are designed to keep children betting even if they lose money, with teaser offers that refund some losses if students keep placing bets.

This is obviously unsavory stuff. That’s why the architects of these programs went to enormous lengths to keep it secret. The state schools involved funneled their deals through private marketing agencies that were shielded from FOIA requests, specifically to prevent the public from learning how public universities were conducting their affairs.

As MSU executive associate athletic director Paul Schager put it: “With the multimedia rights holder, public institutions like Michigan State no longer have to disclose all those sponsorship deals. This helps with the sponsors being able to spend what they feel is appropriate without having the public or employees or stockholders question that investment.”

The deals themselves are far-reaching. As part of MSU’s Caesar’s deal, tailgate parties before big games would be “Caesarized,” with the casino providing ad-copy for the live announcers to read to attendees. As a figleaf, $25,000 of the millions that MSU received from Caesar’s was earmarked for gambling addiction education.

The deals weren’t just kept secret from the public — they were also hidden from top university oversight. At UC Bolder, the Board of Regents was informed of the deal mere hours before it was announced to the public.

These deals have only been running for a couple months and it’s too soon to chart the long-term harms they’ll create in the student body. But, the Times* notes, there is an one harm that surfaced almost immediately: student athletes are now subject to vicious abuse by their fellow students, who lose money they can’t afford when their peers lose a game.

[Image ID: A gaudy casino floor. In the foreground is a figure in college graduation robes giving a double thumbs-up. His head is a grinning skull with a mortarboard.]

#pluralistic

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mechadria · 1 month

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I liked their apology. (tldr lower bestie if you want)

It won't make Steven's out of touch comment or their joint decision made without either asking a business consultant or their own fans any easier to swallow, but it was a good apology. I like the new model, and I frankly think a month is short, they could have waited longer to put them up after! (they probably went short so the apology would go better and yeah, they nailed this one actually.) this kind of premium experience that you can opt into feels much better and nicer than feeling forced to subscribe to watch any of it going forward (it's really a bit of another patreon form, and I really don't mind that at all). i think more people would be willing to subscribe (within those that can afford it) now that it doesn't feel like their only option.

if they prove able to truly listen to their fans, get back down to earth and actually conduct market research and value their audience, i think they'll actually be okay. they need to make real efforts to earn back trust and foster that feeling (and promote the damn ways people can actually support them omg promote the patreon) but i see them walking back from this. maybe not this month, but eventually? it'll hopefully be a distant disappointing thing that makes you go "im glad they listened and changed"

im glad they addressed the patreon members' worry and im glad they didn't dig their heels in and are willing to offer refunds (it Was the smart thing to do, but they just proved they don't always do that, so live and learn ig). i still didn't like how they talked about it like it is their own site when we now know it's just vimeo (and like, it's fine, i have nothing against vimeo. but don't pretend it's yours when you can't even control how many people share a password, it just sounds weird instead...)

tldr;

i appreciated the work they put into the apology, as well as the format they're deciding on going forward. a few details weren't great, but i can see them surviving this and going on to do good if they listen to fans and promote their content better.

(extra more personal bit you don't really need)

i don't have a lot of extra money but I'm an artist myself and I like to support creators I like, so I have a list of patreons I'd like to support for a month whenever i next can, and theirs is tentatively back on the list. i probably won't subscribe to the streaming service because that's not something that works with how i consume their work, but patreon? maybe.

#watcher #watcher entertainment #watcher tv

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cosmerelists · 10 months

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AITA Posts on Roshar: Part 1

“AITA” is a reddit forum and stands for “Am I The Asshole?” It’s a way for people to get a crowd-sourced view on whether their behavior is acceptable or not. So here are some posts we might see if that forum existed on Roshar!

This ended up getting long, so please look forward to Part 2 later! (or more if people like this)

1. AITA for trying to save my old friend’s legacy?

[per reddit policy details are changed to protect identities!!]

I (LE/M/50) used to be very good friends with a man, let’s call him Danny (LE/M/51). Unfortunately, we’ve grown distant over the years due to his weakness, poor life choices, and growing insanity, but I still care about the man he used to be. Danny and I worked hard to build a “business” together with our other friend, Gavvy (deceased). When Gavvy died, it became very hard to keep the business going, especially since I wanted the business to remain strong, and Danny wanted to destroy it with his terrible ideas, weakness, poor life choices, and growing insanity. Unfortunately, Danny is very popular with the “CEO” Elky, and I could never make Elky see the truth of how Danny was going to destroy everything we had worked so hard to build.

Obviously it was time for Danny to go, but I didn’t want his legacy to be destroyed in the process--I wanted him to go out in a heroic blaze of glory so that he would be remembered well. But here is where I might have been TA: I left him and his son to die. BUT it would have been a glorious death and also the way I set it up was extremely clever and fully in line with Alethi values. Even so, Danny unfortunately survived and now he’s mad and going around and telling everyone that I am TA.

I don’t think it’s wrong to want to protect an old friend’s legacy. AITA?

2. AITA for throwing the man who saved my sons’ lives into prison?

I know how it sounds. I will not mince words.

A situation arose in which my two sons were liable to be badly maimed if not outright killed. No one would help except for one dark-eyed guard (M/19) who intervened. Nearly at the cost of his own life, he saved both of my sons.

Unfortunately, almost immediately afterwards the DE guard greatly angered the king who ordered him executed. I managed to talk the king into throwing him into prison instead. I thought that in so doing I was both obeying the king I am sworn to obey while also saving the man who saved my sons.

But now the man glowers at me from his prison cell with his dark, pain-filled eyes, and he seems very angry about being in prison.

Was I wrong? AITA?

3. AITA for wanting dry feet?

This occurred during one of the worst weeks of my (LE/F/17) life--not counting the week where my mom died and the week where my dad died. I had been literally shipwrecked, all my companions and my mentor were dead, and I was trying to make my way to the city where my fiancé lived by any means possible.

I fell in with this conwoman who mistakenly thought that I was also a conwoman (long story). In order to prevent her from, you know, murdering me in my sleep, I decided to play along until I arrived at my destination. Perhaps not the most ethical, but again, it was my life at stake and I had no allies and no resources.

Another thing that was happening during that time was that my feet were killing me. I was shipwrecked, remember, and I also had to walk a long way with no shoes. I had blisters. My feet were infected for a while. I was literally collecting antiseptic sap from plants to try to keep my feet from rotting off. What I really REALLY needed were good, sturdy boots.

To make a long story short, me and the conwoman lady (who, remember, thought that I was also a conwoman) ran into this DE guard and the conwoman without consulting me pretended that I was a Horneater princess. I had to play along or else she would have known I was tricking her, so I did. And I got kinda caught up in the moment and I ended up demanding that the DE guard give me his boots. Which he did.

Obviously he can just go and get new boots whereas I really needed them. But I kind of feel a little bit guilty because he seemed pretty upset. AITA?

4. AITA for wanting to date my husband’s brother?

I (LE/F/60) am a widow--my husband has been deceased for a long time now. He was not the best man or the greatest husband. Perhaps that is neither here nor there, but I want it on record that while we were married, I never strayed and I supported him as best I could, even though it was not always mutual.

Now that he is dead, everyone acts as though my life is over, like I am nothing but a widow who should be put on a shelf and left to rot. I do not believe that my life is over. There is another man that I have feelings for...but he happens to be my deceased husband’s brother. This man is a widower himself, and his wife, whom he loved dearly, has also been dead for a long time. I believe that he has feelings for me as well.

Should the two of us be denied happiness simply due to convention, simply because he happens to be the brother of my long-dead husband? He and I are a good match, his sons love me, and I believe that we both deserve happiness.

AITA for wanting this?

5. AITA for forgetting one small detail?

It had been a busy night. I had been ordered to assassinate a king while wearing white. But I also had to be loud so that everyone knew that the king had been assassinated. This meant I killed more people and not just the king. Also the king disguised himself so I didn’t even know I was fighting the king for a while. I was very stressed. It was hard to kill him. I finally had to collapse a balcony to kill him. And this was during a party and there was a peace treaty and I kept getting my oathstone passed around and I was truthless. Anyway he made a dying wish and of course dying wishes must be honored. I wrote a whole message in his blood (that’s what he wanted me to do. possibly not the blood thing. but the message certainly). he also gave me this weird rock which was also part of the dying wish thing so i did it. even when i abandoned all of my clothes and was basically naked in the rain i kept it. there was a lot going on. but i forgot i had it. there were other more important rocks to worry about than the weird black glowing rock. but now it’s a long time later and i am in prison and the queen seems really mad that i never told her about this one glowing rock that i got from her husband (her husband was the king that i killed). that’s weird right. it was just the one detail that i forgot to mention. but she seems mad about it. aita

6. AITA for saving humanity?

Surely we can all agree that it is better for humanity to be saved than for it to be destroyed completely.

Even if only a small portion of humanity can be saved, that is better than all of humanity dying.

I (LE/M/78) even gained a boon from Cultivation herself so that I would have the capacity to save humanity.

Saving humanity has required me to take actions that others may deem as evil. I accept this--it is the duty of a king to bear the evil so that others may be blameless.

Yes, I have ordered the deaths of many. Yes, I traded 99% of humanity to an evil god to save 1%. Yes, the 1% happened to be my own city and family.

But I think we can all agree that I am hardly the asshole to have done all this to save humanity.

Right?

#cosmerelists #cosmere #in order:#Sadeas #Dalinar #Shallan #Navani #Szeth #Taravangian #by the way LE means lighteyed #and DE means darkeyed #you know they'd abbreviate that on roshar reddit

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moirallegianceismagic · 1 year

Photo

MEET MISS MINUTE AND DOOMSAYER

Origins: Local Apocalypse Experts; Having survived the destruction of their own alt-Earth, Aradia and Sollux live on Earth Prime, occasionally offering consultation to governing agencies on doomsday events and how to prepare for the inevitable.

Currently, Aradia works as a museum curator, fending off super-villain thieves that try to steal precious historical artifacts. Sollux, meanwhile, works full-time in cybersecurity and restricts hero business to the weekends.

Feferi and Eridan

#art #superstuck #herostuck #aradia #aradia megido #sollux #sollux captor #super au

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cookies-and-music · 3 months

Text

Ghost. - part 7: How do you plea?

This chapter's musical suggestion is Blood//Water by grandson.

Part 1 here - part 8 here

PAIRING: TVA!LokixOC

RATING: ALL

SUMMARY: Loki meets sombody at the TVA he once knew. Unfortunately she doesn't seem to remember him.

Time to bring some action here. All that sweetness and sadness was making me wanna puke.

TVA, 2021 – a few days later.

"I believe I know who you are."

"Well, Sylvie, since I also know who you are, I won't waste time introducing myself" Lydia opened the yellow folder containing all the documents related to the variant she had in front of her.

"Why did they send you?" Sylvie tilted her head, settling into the interrogation room chair.

"All the bad cops were busy," Lydia scanned the papers.

"I didn't know there were any good cops at the TVA."

"All the more reason why you should take advantage of the fact that it's me you've got," Lydia smiled coldly.

"I won't tell you anything," Sylvie spat.

Lydia refrained from rolling her eyes; losing patience wouldn't help. She had to find out what caused the NEXSUS event they and Loki had generated. It was her chance to move from consultant to actual analyst. Considering their entire existence was a mistake, comparing their files to those in the archive wouldn't be enough.

"And do you think your partner in the other room will keep his mouth shut?"

"Yes" Sylvie bared her teeth.

"Oh, come on. You know as well as I do how much he loves to talk" Lydia smiled.

"He knows the truth. The truth about the TVA and who works there" Sylvie leaned back, crossing her legs. "And about you."

"And what would he know about me?" Lydia sighed, bringing two fingers to her temple with a bored air.

"Everything. About how you betrayed him."

"And what about the TVA?"

Sylvie closed her mouth and looked away.

"Come on, Sylvie, we literally have all the time in the world. Do you really wish to spend it here?" Lydia spread her arms, but still, Sylvie didn't answer; she decided to press on.

"Let me make you a proposal, considering that I, at least, don't intend to spend the rest of eternity in this room: you tell me what caused the NEXSUS event on Lamentis-1, and I'll intercede for you with the higher-ups," she twirled a finger, "guaranteeing your survival."

Sylvie let out a forced laugh, shaking her head. "Your attempts are pathetic."

"Well, then let's hope my colleague in the other room is doing better than me" Lydia smiled acidly.

They stared at each other for a few seconds.

"Unlike you, Loki doesn't betray people who trust him."

"And you trust him, don't you?"

"The only person a Loki trusts is theirself" Sylvie crossed her arms.

Lydia observed her defensive posture and the way her gaze seemed to want to incinerate her.

"You know, someone once said that trust is the highest form of love" she leaned towards her.

"Then you really don't know anything about him," Sylvie mimicked her "there's nothing in the world that a Loki can love more than himself."

There it was. The NEXUS event. The opportunity to fall in love with oneself. What vanity enveloped Loki.

"Exactly," Lydia smiled bitterly.

Sylvie furrowed her eyebrows before widening her eyes. "What?"

"Thank you for your courteous cooperation," Lydia closed the yellow folder and stood up from the chair with a smile and bright eyes, ready to report everything to Renslayer, without thinking too much about the consequences her actions would have.

----

The next day, the TVA was in turmoil; the monitors in the control room were going crazy. From the sacred timeline branched out an immense number of other timelines, ramifications. There was no trace of Loki, and Lydia hadn't heard from him. She had been prevented from entering the room where he had been confined and ordered to stay away. When she had tried again, after reporting to Renslayer what she had discovered from Sylvie and being dismissed with a "good job, now go take a break," she hadn't found anyone, least of all him.

But people don't disappear; they die.

She had tried to talk to Mobius but had gotten nowhere.

"Until we have approval from the council, I can't tell you anything," he had said as he ran through the corridors in the general chaos.

"Can't you at least tell me if he's alive?"

"It's classified."

"Classified?"

"You don't have a high enough clearance!" Mobius snapped, turning to her, whose analyst rank had not yet been confirmed. Then perhaps out of pity, his expression softened. "Until we have news, he's to be considered MIA."

MIA.

Lydia was an agent of SHIELD, and even before that, she had trained at Quantico. Lydia knew what it meant when someone was MIA.

Lydia closed herself in a small room, leaned her back against the door, and slid to the floor, crushed by her own sense of guilt. It was her who had condemned them both, out of anger, out of ambition. Him, who despite everything, she had considered a friend, with sad eyes and kind words.

Even without being the material executor of their end, she had contributed to it by following the orders given to her. And the last words she had said to him had been, "Damn murderer."

She wanted to cry but couldn't. All she could do was breathe heavily, as if she had run the New York marathon. While in her head, his words during their last conversation overlapped.

"You hurt me." "You stabbed me in the back." "It's your fault."

Now it was true. All true. Everything she yelled she hadn't done had still come to pass. Perhaps that was the true meaning of the concept of "destiny"; or perhaps it was just the manifestation of her true nature.

Guilty.

I know. No loki. Y'all were here for him after all. He'll be back tomorrow, that's the reason I'm posting so soon. My girl needed a little kick in the ass in order to sort her feelings out. It is what it is. Let me know what you think of the story so far. I have recived no comments so I'm not sure what everyone is thinking, but I'm fine also with a little heart or a repost so I don't lose interest in writing. It' really helpful.

#fanfic #loki series #loki #loki laufeyson #loki x reader #loki x oc #loki season 2 #loki x reader images #loki x you #loki x y/n #tva!loki #tva!lokixreader #tva!lokixoc #tom hiddleston

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justplainwhump · 6 months

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Mac

A short character intro of some sort, for the character that has lurked in the background of Adrian and Blanca's story since their very first chapter. The sixth guard dog.

[Pet Safety Masterlist]; this piece is referencing [Favor].

Content / warnings: BBU, (indirect) dehumanisation, captivity, briefly referenced/implied noncon.

In the nights in his cell - or kennel, rather, he didn't know why but there was a difference and it made his stomach uneasy - Mac had a lot of time for thoughts. And he used it. He thought about fights, about technique and strategies, about his opponents and their strengths and weaknesses. He thought about winning, about the feeling of triumph, and how stale it was. Like the tasteless, grayish mass that came from a dispenser in the kennel wall, a viscous nutri-shake, that fell into a stainless steel bowl welded to the floor. Victories in his fights were just the same. Bland, insipid, and utterly necessary to survive.

Mac pulled down the lever and watched more of the nutri-shake fall into the bowl. Sometimes he thought about how long he'd have to hold it down until the room would be flooded. Sometimes he wondered, if the person he'd been before would've known how to calculate it. The pet he was now sure did not. He stared down at the food below him, let himself sink to his knees before he bowed down to eat it. He'd never been further from being a person.

He'd been allowed to eat at a table, real food, with taste and consistency, back at his owner's place. He'd had the others to talk to, Guards, like him. They hadn't been what people called *friends*, he wagered, at least he hadn't actually liked them, but they had existed together, shared a life and the dedication a common goal - to keep their master safe and satisfied. They hadn't been friends, but in lack of better terms, they'd been a pack.

Here, everyone like him was an adversary, who'd fight him to the death the next day or another. And those not like him were the ones who didn't care about if the others died, or Mac did.

It was exhausting. A feeling that wasn't going to bring him anywhere. That was why when Mac had time for thoughts, he didn't think too much about his pack.

He thought about his owner.

—

Jack Donnell took great pride in his belongings, and that had always included his WRU-trained Guards. Six of them, all of the same height, featuring the same dark hair, same broad shoulders, same mannerisms. He employed a retired WRU Guard handler for some hours a week to make sure the Guards worked like one. He also bought the consulting services of a WRU Romantic Trainer - not for the Guards to be involved directly, but to make them part of intricate designed "scenes" that Mac learned to hate.

Jack wanted to be a ruler, a conqueror, and every once in a while he loved to dress his Pets up in accurate costumes, only to make them submit to him in every scenario possible.

Mac had endured. He'd been a good pet. Until the day a new business partner of Jack's had shown up with his Romantic.

Blanca.

Blanca was petite, with the sort of auburn hair that could look dark brown in one moment and light up like fire in another, with a seductive sway to her hips, full lips that curved into a knowing smile and clothes so tight they left nothing about her curves to the imagination.

Hot, Mac knew he was supposed to think.

He didn't.

Please spare her from this, he'd thought instead and closed his eyes. Prayed, almost. As if he knew, how to.

As if there was a God who'd listen to a pet. No. Their only Gods were their owners.

And while her owner had all but fled the room and left his subject in the hand of another, Mac had stayed by the door, standing at attention, while he watched his master brutalize her.

It took hours.

And after Jack was done, he'd simply smiled to himself, sauntered towards Mac without another look at the broken figure of the Romantic behind him, and patted Mac's cheek. "Good boy," he'd said, and left.

That moment had been the first in Mac's conscious life, that he'd felt something a Pet was never supposed to feel.

He'd felt hatred. Plain, pure, seething hatred, for the one man he was supposed to love.

He'd felt it every day since.

tag list (let me know if you want to be added or removed): @gottawhump @flowersarefreetherapy @whumplr-reader @highwaywhump @tauntedoctopuses @pigeonwhumps @whumppsychology @labgrowndemon @whumpinggrounds @somewhumpyguy @whumpzone @tragedyinblue @theelvishcowgirl

#pet safety series #bbu #jack donnell #the sixth guard dog #mac the guard dog #blanca #whump #noncon implied #dehumanisation

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palestinian-fundraising · 14 days

Text

PLEASE READ AND REBLOG🇵🇸

Help Anas' Family Escape Gaza & Get Medical Care

Message from the creator:

*Note from the campaign manager February 2024*

Hi all, my name is Caroline. First, a quick intro from me, then a letter from the family I'm representing, featured news articles, pictures and videos. I live in California and in my advocacy connected with a wonderful Gaza family struggling to evacuate due to the exorbitant costs required by Egypt.

Anas is a 36 year-old from the center of Gaza City in an area called Al-Rimal, a husband to Yasmine, and father of 3 children. He is a part-Owner and Accountant for his cherished family business of over 30 years called Alborno Gifts and Display Systems (https://www.instagram.com/alborno.gifts?hl=en). In a shocking matter of days, he went from being a business and home owner to enduring 5 displacements since October '23, constant danger and difficulty feeding his family. His youngest, Julia, has a serious allergy and has been suffering from reactions to the little food available. His mother suffers from high blood pressure, diabetes, and has a breathing problem called sarcoidosis. His family is now displaced in Rafah and are surviving in a tent.

I connected with Anas' story because he his my sister's age at 36, and I'm simply doing what I would want someone to do for me and my family. After fostering trust through conversation, calls, personal identification, Palestinian-American friend's assistance, and digital vetting, I offered to sponsor their GoFundMe as it requires a bank outside of Gaza. Anas will explain more specifics, but in a nutshell, we are evacuating 4 children, 6 adults, each at about 5K-7K travel permit costs thru Hala Consulting and Tourism in Cairo. Yes, they are really charging that much; it's awful. This campaign also covers shelter and food in Egypt as well as treatment for Julia.

Money is transferred from my bank account to family in Egypt to coordinate and pay for the travel permits.

***LETTER FROM ANAS (Feb 2024)***

Dear world,

My name is Anas and I am from Gaza City, Palestine with my wife Yasmine and our three children.

Following the outbreak of war, the Israeli occupation army issued an urgent evacuation order for Gaza City due to the continuous and violent bombing. We fled to Khan Yunis, leaving all our possessions behind in a desperate attempt to survive. However, our ordeal continued when Israeli forces again forced us to move, this time to Rafah city. The invasion of Khan Yunis exacerbated our suffering, and the anxiety, fear and tears in our children's eyes were particularly painful. My daughter, Julia, has a chronic allergy to milk and lactose, which adds to our suffering. Unfortunately, we are unable to provide even basic necessities such as clean water.

We currently find ourselves displaced, living in a tent in Rafah. The constant bombing of the city terrifies our children, and the lack of food, clean water and medicine further exacerbates our plight.

I appeal to you to provide support to my family, so that we can survive this war and evacuate to Egypt. Julia is in urgent need of medical and specialized care, and we hope to provide her with everything necessary for her safety.

This is my beloved family you will be helping:

My mother: Sawsan, 58 years old

Me: Anas, 36 years old

My wife: Yasmine, 33 years old

My sister: Lina, 31 years old

My brother: Khaled, 26 years old

My sister-in-law: Sarah, 22 years old

My son: Abd Alrahman, 13 years old

My son: Yazan 10 years

My daughter: Julia, 3 years old

My nephew: Karam, 2.5 years old

How funds will be used:

Loans Oct ’23 - Feb ’24 Living Expenses

These are loans to be repaid from before the GoFundMe campaign was created:

- Food and drink ($1,000/mo * 3 families * 5 months) = $15,000

- Rent (500/mo * 3 families * 5 months) = $7,500

- Medication & tests for my mother (high blood pressure, diabetes, ‘sarcoidosis’ breathing problem): $2000

- Medication for Julia’s immune-deficiency and food-allergy = $1,500

(26,000)

Travel Permits

- 7,000/person x 10 people = 70,000 - $20,000 GIFT = $50,000

(50,000)

Living Expenses - March ’24 - April ’24

- Food and drink ($1,000/mo * 3 families * 2 months) = $6,000

- Rent (500/mo * 3 families * 2 months) = $3,000

- Medication for Julia’s immune-deficiency and food-allergy = $1500

(10,500)

TOTAL: $86,500

My primary goal in creating this fundraising campaign is to raise the exorbitant amounts requested by the Egyptian authorities. Rafah crossing fees start from $5,000 to $7,000 per person. But in addition to the evacuation plan, this fundraiser will help me treat my daughter Julia and mother's health concerns.

Thank you for your compassion and help during these difficult times.

Anas family

How to reach Anas directly:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/anas.borno

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anasalborno

WhatsApp #: +970 567 418 420

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skzhocomments · 6 months

Text

THE WHITE LILY (Mafia Book #1 - Bang Chan) - Chapter 16 - Yours truly, Shade

Story masterlist - please consult it for the summary of the story, trigger warnings etc.

General masterlist

Chapter 15 | THE BLACK IRIS (coming soon)

Let me know if you'd like to be on the taglist for this story or on the general taglist!

---

Chapter 16 - Yours truly, Shade

chapter word count: 1.7k words

~Third person POV~

Back at Stray Kids' house, things were more tense than ever.

Felix' condition was stable. There was, however, no certainty that he would wake up and make it through this.

His injuries were extremely severe, but he was closely monitored by Jeongin and other capable doctors SKZ hired.

With each passing day, Hyo would get more and more anxious that Felix would, in fact, survive this.

He was dear to her, of course. They spent many years together under the same roof. But him waking up would mean that everything she worked for would be in vain.

If only he didn't fucking come through the door at that time! She cursed inside of her head.

She tried various times to sneak into his room and put him to sleep for good, but Chan would always be there. He only came out of the room that night in the kitchen, but ever since throwing Emilia out, he never left Felix' side.

He ate and slept in there, and he would only go to the bathroom or take a shower if Changbin, Hyunjin or Minho took his place.

Thus, the only thing she could do was pray that Felix would never open his eyes again.

A raspy cough woke Chan up from his slumber.

"Felix?!" he got up from the chair quickly and came next to his best friend's hospital bed.

It took Felix more than a few seconds to realise where he was, but seeing his hyung relaxed him.

"Chris." He started, placing his right hand on his chest, where he was shot. "Fuck."

"I'm so glad you're awake, brother." Chan replied, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. He never let himself cry, but the thought of potentially losing Felix was too much to bear. The relief he felt when he saw his eyelids open was unmeasurable.

"How much was I out for?" Lix asked, blinking rapidly.

"A little bit under a week. We weren't sure if you were gonna make it."

"And Emilia? Where is she, is she okay?"

"Why... would you ask about her...?" Chan's gaze darkened.

"She was... fuck, this hurts... she was stabbed... Hyo turned on her..."

"Felix... what are you saying... Didn't she shoot you...?"

"What?! No... it was Hyo... damn, she got a number on us. I remember opening that door and Emilia bleeding badly... then Hyo's weapon pointed at me... I just remember... hearing two shots..."

"No... this can't be... it was Shade... she shot you..." Chan denied and shook his head.

And then it clicked.

The way Emilia rushed as fast as she could back to the house... how the first thing she asked about was Felix...

How Hyo tried to get closer to him these past few days.

It was all Hyo's scheme.

Why?

Why didn't I pay more attention?

Numerous thoughts started roaming Chan's mind, as everything fell into place.

And now, he finally remembered.

~Flashback, 11 years ago~

"Channie, my boy... you're so young and yet-" The old man's speech was interrupted by a rough cough. "Yet there's no other choice for you out there. I wish- I wish I could've given you... more."

"Dad, I- no, you gave me so much, but..."

"I took over father's business when I was 32... much, much older than you are now. Double your age. Double your experience... Now you have to take over mine..."

"Dad, I don't know what you're saying-" I responded desperate, tears stinging the corners of my eyes.

"Son, listen to me!" he shouted, spiralling into another coughing fit. "you can't show any weakness. EVER. If you do, they will take you down with no hesitation. You have to be strong if you're going to own this wicked business of ours."

"I don't- I can't do it, dad. You have so much more left, I-"

"No, son, I'm almost..."

"Dad, stay with me! You will survive this! You have to!"

"My time is up... just remember what I told you... These emotions of yours, they are beautiful, son, but you can't let them see it. You have to stay composed, to be cold. So cold, one would be afraid to speak in front of you. No matter how hurt you are, don't let it show. Can you promise this to me?"

"I- I'll try... Fuck." I could barely see through my tears.

"But there's one thing you have to remember..."

"DAD! NO! PLEASE!"

"Love... You know how much I loved your mother, don't you? I want you to find that person for you... and protect her at all costs."

~End of flashback~

Hyo was peacefully standing at the kitchen table, eating toast.

"Channie, how's Lix?" she asked with a smile.

Fake. Chan thought. It was all fake.

Jeongin and Jisung also entered the room, sensing a weird atmosphere.

"Chan, is everything alright...?" Hyo asked, placing the piece of bread in her hand back on the plate.

The leader stood silent while picking Hyo's revolver from the table. Opening it up, he counted the bullets and mentally slapped himself for being so stupid.

3 out of 6.

"Felix woke up." Chan simply replied, watching the colour drain from Hyo's cheeks.

"Wh... what did you say?" she asked, unsure. "That's great! How is he? Does he remember anything?" she raised her lips into a curve, showing the man in front of her an insecure smile that didn't reach her eyes.

How come I didn't notice?

Why did I never suspect her?

Even that baby incident so many months ago...

Why did I trust this girl so much?

Just because we grew up together?

Because I loved her like I loved my sister?

How oblivious was I when it came to Hyo?

"It's funny, really." Chan chuckled to himself, loading the gun and placing his finger steadily on the trigger.

"What's funny, Hyung?" Jisung was completely oblivious to what was about to happen. Jeongin, however, knew exactly how this was going to end.

"You guys all know how my dad was betrayed by the one partner he trusted the most..." he raised his eyes and looked at Hyo, all warmth his gaze once held towards her completely gone. "I can't believe... I got myself tricked the exact same way."

Hyo got up from the table and placed her hands in front of her, starting to defend herself.

"Channie, whatever Felix said..."

Before she had the chance to say anything more, he opened fire and shot her three times.

One for shooting Felix, he said in his mind.

One for fooling me,

And one... for Emilia.

Jisung seemed completely shocked by what happened, but noticing Chris' cold gaze, he decided not saying anything would be the better course of action.

After a few minutes of silence, Chan placed his hands on his face and cried out, the realisation of what he did to Emilia finally sinking in.

"God, what did I do?!"

"She tried to tell you..." Jeongin started, but stopped himself quickly, startled by Chan hitting the wall with all his force.

"No... No, no no! Where is this blood from?!" he pointed to the dried blood on the wall – Emilia's blood.

He was so blinded by rage, so indifferent to her pain, he didn't even care that she was hurt. What injuries did she have, for them to leave so much blood on the wall?

However, no one dared to say anything anymore. What good would it do?

"Jeongin! Answer me! Where is this blood from?"

The boy didn't answer. Instead, he just let his head fall down, shaking it.

"That's... no... fuck... she was hurt and I... what did I do?!" he cried angrily, hitting the wall again and again, until his hand was a bloodied mess.

My hands are stained with her blood and no matter how hard I wash them, the warm feeling of it won't go away.

Crimson red and warm.

Crimson red, just as the shade of her lips the night I met her.

Why? Why did things end up like this?

How could I be so blind?

Why?

Why?!

It's all my fault.

"Please... Jeongin... you know where she is, don't you? You... you helped her, right? That's where you've been leaving these past days..."

"You knew?" I.N looked aside. "And didn't say anything...?"

"Where is she?" Chan asked again, straightening his back and coming face-to-face with Jeongin, his eyes pleading.

"She... she didn't make it, Hyung." I.N replied coldly, averting his gaze.

"Don't lie to me, goddamit!" Chan hit the wall once again, but the boy only let his head fall back down.

"I helped her! But she... fuck. I couldn't save her!" the boy screamed at his leader, tears forming in his eyes as well for seeing how much pain he was in.

I'm sorry, Chan, I really am. But this is for the best. He thought.

"No... no, this can't be. NO!" Chan screamed, letting himself fall down to his knees.

His chest started hurting badly, and the clothes on him suddenly felt way too tight. They were suffocating him.

Glancing at the Emilia's blood on the wall again, he felt sick to his stomach.

"Why... did she die?" He asked weakly.

"... Stab wound... in her lower abdomen..."

"Her body... where... where is it?" The leader continued in a whisper, barely able to speak. His own words were choking him.

"I buried her... before coming here..." Jeongin replied, showing Chan his palms. Dirt under his fingernails and callouses on his hands proved that he wasn't lying. He did dig a grave just a bit earlier.

An empty one, of course, but Chan couldn't know that, for he had a promise to keep.

~6 hours later~

Jeongin made his way to the motel and scanned his door key.

"Emi, I'm back! I got some takeout and brought you a box of those biscuits you liked!" He shouted, taking off his shoes.

He regretted not being able to take her anywhere fancier, but this motel in the middle of nowhere was the only acceptable choice he had when she looked like she came from a slaughterhouse. This would have to do until she heals a bit more.

Hopefully, they'll both be long gone a week from now, starting a new life somewhere else.

Leaving his Mafia hurt, and so did lying to everyone else, especially to Chan, but he was content with just having Emilia by his side.

"Hey, are you in the bathroom?" He asked, confused by the lack of response.

He knocked once, but hearing no reply whatsoever, he decided to open the door.

The bathroom was empty.

"Emi...?" he walked into the room, his heart in his throat.

Seeing the empty bed, he dropped everything from his hands.

She was gone, leaving behind only a crumbled note written in the reddest lipstick.

"I'm sorry.

Yours truly,

Shade."

---

THE END

---

(A/N) Thank you so much for reading "The White Lily". Even if this book is over, the story is far from finished. That's why I hope you will read part II of the Mafia Series, titled "The Black Iris".

---

Chapter 15

Book #2 - The Black Iris and the Withered Rose

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