#how do you develop a sense of self

[bestworstcase]

there’s also just. something about how overwhelmingly ruby identifies herself (/has been identified by everyone she knows) with summer—to such an extreme degree that her self-loathing manifests as castigating herself for not being summer—and how little ruby knows about her at the same time, and how ruby fills in the gaps of what she doesn’t know with pieces of herself. the idea of summer as a funhouse mirror alienating ruby from true self-knowledge because she cannot recognize herself except by looking for her mother. and now she’s tearing away at the foundations of that mirror (life isn’t a fairytale and here, take this, it’s the only keepsake she has of her mother’s and by extension it’s the abstracted image of herself) because she wants to escape who she is—& as this happens the narrative draws the truth of summer rose closer to the surface, no longer the flawless (inhuman) paragon of motherly and heroic virtue but the real person who was (is) both good and bad and complicated; a living breathing individual who i increasingly suspect will turn out to be not very much like ruby at all, not in the sense that she was like ruby once and is now jaded and broken but rather that she never was, because the idea of summer rose is so very strongly informed by who ruby is and the implicit pressure ruby has always felt to ‘live up to’ the memory of this fairytale character everyone says is just. like. her.

it’s less about detangling ruby’s sense of self from summer’s legacy than it is ruby discovering that so much of what she thought she received from her mother was actually just her, all along, projected onto the blank (dehumanized) mannequin of someone she couldn’t remember except as the proverbial knight in shining armor. crescent rose stands apart as the one piece of ruby that has no connection to summer, whether real or imagined, because it carries forward something real—qrow was not a mythic paragon in ruby’s life, he was her uncle, for better and worse, the mentor who trained her and supported her but also the unreliable alcoholic she had to take care of, and from the complicated messiness of genuine connection with another person ruby was able to take inspiration and synthesize it with her personal style and personality to arrive at something that is both proud of its heritage and fully and uniquely her—which is why it’s missing now, because it symbolizes the idea of ruby rose that she wants to escape. (but can’t escape, because so much of what she sees as summer is actually ruby.)

the brooch goes in the other direction; it might be the only thing ruby has that is truly and unambiguously summer’s, so narratively of course she had to give it away. only by sacrificing the one piece of herself that really did belong to summer first can ruby begin to smooth out the funhouse mirror of everything else—she needs to sever the true connection to summer before she can cut through the gordian knot of every illusory connection and discover that she was looking at distortions of herself all along, and only then can she return to the question of summer’s legacy (her real legacy, not the legacy of the paragon) and decide what she wants to carry forward. which is to say, she’s getting the brooch back, but she has to get crescent rose back first—because finding crescent rose means vanquishing the alienation that has made her a stranger to herself, and she can’t truly choose or cherish the things she received from her mother until she really knows herself.

#rwby v9 spoilers #like god she’s so. so fucked up <3 #her whole life she’s just been #inundated with the message that she’s not herself— #she’s summer! she’s just like her mother! #( by the fairytale cult. ) #( is she like summer or are they both the silver-eyed warrior of legend? ) #how do you develop a sense of self #when everyone keeps telling you #that yourself is somebody else? #you can’t! #she is always and only herself #but she thinks herself is her mother #and that she is nothing except her failures #gently pats her head. this 17 year old can fit so much identity disturbance

[coquelicoq]

what i love about the Famous Actor Natori Shuuichi of it all is that...it's not just that he's famous and therefore widely recognizable wherever he goes. like yes that is very funny because he was an exorcist before he became a famous actor, which means he CHOSE, on purpose, a day job that would make it harder to hide his double life/secret identity from the hordes of his adoring public, but it's more than that. it's not just that he's famous, it's that he's famous specifically for being an ACTOR, aka a person whose job it is to dissimulate, to make believe, to inhabit roles and emotions other than his own. like he decided he was going to become as visible as possible (which again was literally not necessary! he could have gone into any other career for his day job!!) but in such a way that everyone would see him but no one would see him - they would just see his various made-up personas, including the Famous Actor Natori Shuuichi persona. i can't decide if he's a genius or if he just made so many absurd decisions that they canceled each other out and circled back around to working out. he's either playing 9-dimensional chess or he's eating the pieces. too soon to say.

#the other thing i love about it is that in a very real sense it's his actor day job that is his alter ego #being an exorcist is his normie job. he's just a famous celebrity on the side #which isn't that uncommon in secret identity setups but it's still very funny #natsume's book of friends #natsume yuujinchou #natori shuuichi #natsuyuu meta #my posts #f #i think probably the actual answer is that acting was a very natural career choice because he already masks so extensively #both to hide that he can see things other people can't (and that youkai exist and that he exorcises them) #and to hide what he's really feeling so that no one can use it against him #so if it's already something he has to do & he's good at it...why not have someone tell him exactly how to do it & get paid for it? #and the other part of the answer is that most ppl don't go into acting assuming they'll get famous. the fame was a side effect #so each decision as it was being made probably made perfect sense. but put them all together #and you have this hilarious assortment of elements that seem to directly contradict each other #okay also i would be remiss if i didn't mention the other possible answer which is that the attention came first and was unavoidable #and the acting developed from the need to protect himself from the attention that he was going to be attracting no matter what he did #because he's so beautiful. and (in the exorcist world specifically) because he's the last of the natori #the more i talk about it the more i'm like no becoming a famous actor was the only path that made any sense for him lol #1) he's gonna be watched no matter what bc he's him -> gotta figure out how to hide his secrets -> learn to act as self-defense #or 2) he's got secrets -> he's gotten a lot of practice hiding them -> hey you could make a career out of this! #all roads lead to actor natori shuuichi. and since he's beautiful...all roads lead to FAMOUS actor natori shuuichi #i love it when i ramble so much in the tags that i end up contradicting my own post lol #he's neither thinking ten steps ahead nor is he irrational. he's simply making sensible individual decisions #that follow logically from what is available to him and what his priorities are

[writhe]

#TAGS TLDR YOU CAN NEVER TRULY GO HOME BUT DO YOU WANT TO? #writing a little for d&d and having feelings about this #it was really interesting jasper and i were working on some game mechanics and we kept getting stuck at weird parts and it developed into #this conversation where we realized we experience the world #in such fundamentally different ways. like specifically talking about how paranoia #manifests and stuff but even later in a broader sense like our experiences of time and everything is so different #and they'd be like 'well what if this is something that happened to lock' and id be like 'how could that be something that anyone would #experience' and they were like 'oh because i do' #(example here was my character not realizing he had been magically transported and filling in the blank with vague memories of travel but i #was like. are you not acutely aware of every single moment you are awake and in motion even if it is excruciatingly boring. and jasper #was like. 'oh...no. i could be transported from one place to another and if time passed i wouldnt even think about having traveled or not' #which was WILD to me but then we were like 'okay i guess this cannot be something that happened to lock' because i couldnt even fathom that #but like anyway idk we got weirdly deep dive-y about d&d stuff and personal lives and i had big feelings on it bc genuinely i feel like #there are facets and caverns in myself i have only ever touched in storytelling but particularly in this campaign #and i've joked a lot about Lock and other chars in this game being self inserts #but i mean it in a good way #like the ways we tell stories or experience a world we created together is going to be through an extension of ourselves etc #but it's interesting to me to consider the limitations that brings yknow? we all live by such vastly different sets of rules and #understandings #and im writing out some stuff now and im like. yknow. #lock can never truly go home. i can never truly go home. none of us can ever truly go home #home as shifting impermanence home as transience etc #2017 levi is back apparently but hes always been right

[fluffs-n-stuffs]

"Cuhut it out- you guys!" "Nu-uh, not until you're all perked up first! You don't want those gym challengers meetin' with an ol' mopey leader, do ya?" "Whitney's right, dear friend. No need to hide that beautiful smile of yours, alright?~"

What it takes to cheer up Johto's beloved ghost boy 👻💕

#some incredibly self-indulgent fluff for my own sake SKJDFSNDFS #Morty was having one of Those days where the weight of his responsibilities as leader and expectations as someone meant to bring back Ho-Oh #-felt a little too heavy to handle (more so than usual) #luckily his best friends (and mayhaps crush of nearly an entire decade) are here to take a stand against his low mood 🤼 #I've been having brainrot of Whitney's dynamics with these two alrighttttt they all deserve to be silly with each other #best wingman award goes to this girlie for putting up with these two's mutual pining antics for years sdkfjskjdfh #the way I see it Morty and Whitney were besties way back before they had even become leaders (with Morty being the older between them) #there were definitely rumors going around between their towns about how they're an item #when the reality is that Whitney's more focused on winning the affections of the other cute girls she hangs out with #while Morty's a repressed gay lad burdened with religious guilt SDJFHUISJDNFS /LH /LH #the second Whitney caught wind of Morty actually developing a crush on someone you just Know she was on his ass Immediately #asking about aaall the details--who he is- what he does- how he dresses- if he could even conceivably pass her standards of how a-- #--fitting partner for her best friend's meant to be #to which an incredibly exasperated Morty struggles to answer because Eusine is just beyond his comprehension /affectionate #when Whitney does eventually get to meet him in person the first time she most certainly takes a jab at his fashion sense SDKJFSDFNS #BUT they do end up getting along a lot better than Morty braced for- which was a huge relief to him #it soon reaches that point where Eusine's secretly asking her for details on the things Morty likes and how to possibly impress him #all the while Morty's asking her for advice on how he could cope with his feelings when he's still unsure on whether they'd be requited #Whitney finds the whole ordeal simultaneously very funny and perhaps one of the most frustrating things imaginable SDKJFSKDNFS #enough of me yapping thouuughhhhhh I should save that for its own post 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ #pokemon tickle #gym leader morty #morty pokemon #gym leader whitney #whitney pokemon #mystery man eusine #eusine pokemon #eusine #lee!morty #ler!eusine

[osmanthus-dandelion-wine]

genuinely shocked at the amount of people that think character death = good story. In most circumstances, character deaths seem like an easy way out for shock value rather than meaningful development (Signora for example). Some of the best character arcs are those where the writers had to figure out how to develop the character in the arc of the story rather than just killing them and moving on

#genshin impact #genshin impact spoilers #xiao #la signora #criticism #hyv has done good jobs when a character had to die and it was a satisfying end to their arcs (himeko or otto more recently) #and they flubbed it before with signora #the whole point of the quest was for xiao to shake this mindset of a warrior's death and that he has to be alone and die alone #that is exactly why yelan was there to challenge that point since she hates the idea of self sacrifice and being the only one to survive #both suffered survivor's guilt and had two completely different ways they went about coping #and the end of that quest was genuinely one of the only times xiao did not degrade himself as a slaughterer #and he was proud to be a yaksha #because his duty was to protect the people #so why set all that up for him to die #it would have been sadder but after a while you'd think 'that made no sense' #ffs he didn't want to die either he tried to bring a rock to make bosacius' shrine #idk i guess getting older just made me see how much harder it is for writers to write development than killing the character off #and another series did initially kill their character off and it was not satisfying #so when they redux their game and had that character finish their arc what do you know they had one of the best character arcs

[time-is-restored]

i have literally nowhere else to put this i apologise for the spam. the absolute best thing to come out of s3 trent is without a doubt the fucking earnestness... like in s1-2 he always came across as a very self-assured kind of guy, who knew how he came off (ie: intimidating) and enjoyed it. but seeing that paired with him being silly + completely relaxing in certain company??? pulling ridiculous faces at vodka + scrunching up his nose when he smiles @ colin + making the most ABSURD 'i really wanna say something right now but i feel like im interrupting' noises ive ever heard in my fucking LIFE??? its like. he is cool as shit and he is self assured AND he can make dumb fucking sherlock holmes jokes and dance ridiculously. its like!!!! he's lame but he's also not bc he's exactly as confident in being lame as he is being cool. do u see the vision. he has killed the part of him that cringes!!!! its just.. that unshakeable self confidence that u see in his fucking swaggers into frame includes all of himself + his different moods and eccentricities and that's just so based to me idk. unironically live ur best life wear the loudest combination of prints and patterns and primary colours uve ever seen in ur life while espousing the virtues of extended museum hours!!! contain multitudes! get silly with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#ted lasso spoilers #combined with james lance's hc abt trent's past its just. like!! #the growth from 'i can't be what you want me to be so im going to be Better than them + tear them down' #-> 'i know my reputation so im going to lean into that + be ruthless + intimidating' -> #'actually fuck this? fuck this! im just gonna be me and if anyone has a problem w then L To Them I'm Actually Living' #also this is just my hcs at this point but like. i do think ted helped a lot w the latter part of this process in so much as. ted embodied #someone who was Visibly weak + vulnerable and had no armour/no sense of self preservation #(the opposite of trent's persona) and made no effort to change anything abt himself to prevent attack. obviously ted has a lot of social + #class advantages that make that less risky for him than it would be for others but like. u get the drift #and i THINK. seeing how without that armour/facade ted was able to be rlly direct + earnest w connecting w ppl #like asking an interviewer 'what do u love?' and rlly genuinely wanting to know the answer #and bc TRENT was specifically in the position of 'i could fucking destroy u rn and u wouldn't put up a fight' #that kind of. shifted his perspective a bit? like. damn what would that say abt me if i wrote a hit piece on this guy rn #i disagree VERY strongly w the idea that trent's more positive character development moments happened ONLY bc of ted (i don't think that's #true for anyone in the show tbh) BUT i think ted's presence at a pivotal point in his life was what helped him confront the fact that #at this stage in his life all his intellectual armour was doing was making him into someone Mean rather than just incisive #like. 'is this a fucking joke' is not cutting journalism. u get me?? #and arguably that's a fine and even safe choice to make when ur younger and have no support/reputation backing u up #but after decades? its like man wtf are we doign here if were literally just living preventatively #smth smth i hope i am not just a tumblr blog to u but a blog who is inventing the brain chemistry of a sitcom side character #w each new episode they watch. trent crimm is my best friend irl i know he would have scorching hot takes abt each new season of survivor #and would earnestly heckle the jury and final 3 alike

[akkivee]

biggest gripe is when they don’t include kuukou’s kindness in writing even tho it’s as integral to his character as his brattiness

#vee queued to fill the void #i’m not going to beef with the stage play again nobody wants to see that lol #like when you make kuukou’s attitude the main focus of conflict i get it genuinely!!!! it is an ongoing source of conflict for him #and the easiest route to write down if you don’t want to challenge kuukou who is incredibly self actualised #kuukou will be his own hype man acting like he’s the hottest shit lmao but he knows and readily admits he’s still weak and has growing to do #that mindset isn’t the easiest to challenge (esp in bat vs mtr play where the story rightfully had other things to focus on) #so rolling back his development unfortunately makes sense lol #but removing kuukou’s kindness makes no sense to me actually lol esp since it undermines all the work he’s put into his religion #i’ve said it once i’ll say it again: you don’t get as far as kuukou has in his ascetic training without understanding the core values lol!!! #wisdom and compassion!!!!! wisdom and compassion!!!!!! #the unami chapter puts him in a tough spot because even tho he’s in the right it wasn’t necessarily the correct answer to the problem #and he had to grapple with ichiro’s hands being tied due to the bigger picture and trying to help unami blindly without the whole story #which is exactly how you need to challenge him lol his principles are right but life isn’t fcking easy lol!!!! #the brain’s about to start vomiting about kuukou’s life cycles and that needs to be a whole other post so lemme not lol #but kuukou’s adventures start because he sees a boy in trouble and wants to help #and kuukou wants to be able to look at his life when it ends and say he did good he lived it to its fullest and he wasn’t ashamed of it #and some of that impact gets taken away when you remove his kindness 😤 #c: kuukou👑

[bredforloyalty]

forgive me for my one-track mind but i do believe the main characters are a package deal, a pair, a duo, and the show hinges on them so i have mixed feelings about the last season. i liked that it didn't take centuries to make, to be more precise i don't care about the long wait i care about the erratic workflow that had been causing problems and seems to no longer be part of the process, and i like that quality was consistent and they're not shying away from serialization (that they set up and which was unavoidable anyway). what i don't like is that morty was almost relegated to a side character role i would guess that's partly because if they explored his perspective a whole bunch of crap would have to also be explored and shown in a different light, this is by no means the only way to interpret the show but maybe treating morty more like a serious character with a complex inner life would have to mean rick's vilification to an extent and that would be risky

#basically the grooming will continue to be explained away and the dynamic has shifted without the actual steps that kind #of growth would take because what else can you do gdsgbcy alienate part of the audience? no way #and it's a delicate balance between moments of drama and sillygoofy creative sci-fi shit‚ i understand if the latter is what they needed to #set themselves straight‚ the focus on beth and summer and jerry was fun and i like that it felt grounded #which is good for this show specifically!!! it's like with anatomy i think‚ you gotta learn that and learn realistic drawing so you can #push beyond that and be purposeful about it and develop your own style that isn't as tethered to reality. and here too it's probably best #to learn/remember every once in a while how to do the basic components of a tv show well (to make it successful and coherent and #emotionally satisfying) and then you can get real wacky with it and go into self-actualization territory #but i miss wacky!!! does that make sense #kata.txt #rnm

[bombshellsandbluebells]

the Nate Shelley s3 arc reminds me of the s5 Murphy arc in terms of how much I actually loved it despite it not being widely liked by the fandom and was actually disappointed because it wasn't ugly enough lol

and it's basically the same arc. character with deep-seated wounds and a lack of true self-love has realistic, damaging coping methods and crashes and burns spectacularly by hurting other people around them and isolating themselves because it doesn't matter how good things get for you, deep-seated wounds that don't get addressed will eventually come out one way or another. and it will be ugly when they do.

the Murphy arc was disappointing because it got wrapped up way too easily with Memori getting back together which didn't actually address ANY of Murphy's issues and Nate's was disappointing because it just didn't commit fully to being ugly and didn't let him be enough of an asshole

#with murphy it's like. do the writers even reallly REALIZE what they had written on a character level and how much it made sense and added #to murphy's character or did they just develop a reason for Memori to break up for drama and then didn't care to actually go through the #work of character growth and just got them together at the end of the season no issues #and with nate it's like. yes I DO think the majority of audiences and the fandom would have absolutely villianized nate if he had been even #meaner in s3 and probably wouldn't have celebrated him getting back with the team. I just KNOW people would have been talking about how he #didn't deserve it or hadn't made up for it enough if he had been worse in s3 #which is so unfair when a) this show tries to show how hurt can make people ugly and b) other characters get the benefit of the doubt wa #more than nate. (jamie's a little different bc it's easier to accept asshole > redeemed arcs a little more than likeable > downfall to #asshole > redeemed again bc we see the transition to being an asshole #BUT also. still. jamie did some nasty stuff that people just forget or completely forgive. and he ends up fandom favorite #and it's not that nate needed to become the fan fave or anything #I just wish people would give characters who are realistically ugly and human and complicated more grace #especially when they're not the conventionally attractive fan fave pretty boy you know #or like with murphy it's like all his actual harsh edges got sanded down by fandom. same as with Jamie #so even when he had an arc where he was acting terribly in a self destructive unhealthy kind of way that hurt others #people made it ALL about his hurt uwu other people hurt him!! it was Emori's fault!! he did nothing wrong bc he has trauma!! instead of lik #accepting that hurt people hurt people is more than a simple phrase it is true and human and UGLY when it happens #anyways #why do i always ramble more in the tags and write like a full epilogue in here

[icewindandboringhorror]

is this actually that uncommon? I don’t even unpack just the DAY I return from somewhere, but it’s literally the first thing I do. I do nothing else until I’m unpacked, I have everything organized back in it’s proper place in the house within an hour of getting home lol.. I thought this was typical??? What’s the cultural norm?

#same with groceries or anything else I;m bringing home from outside - i put it away or d o soemthing with it immediately #I just don't like looming tasks in the background taking up my mental space like 'oh i still have to do that later' etc. #I can't relax until everything is taken care of. If i try to relax or rest when I just got home from a trip there's just always the nagging #sense that I'm going to have to get up and do something else LATER (put the stuff away) so why not just do it now #It's the whole principle of 'be more uncomfortable in the present in order to help yourself in the future' #Samme thing with covid like. Follow the social distancting tules and wear masks and do everything extremely dillignently NOW no matter how #annoying or inconvenient it is at the MOMENT because the future pay off will save you more discomfort later (more vairants coming out - long #er lockdowsn because of wider spread - you or your family getting sick - etc.) #I am ALWAYS willing to inconvenence myself and ''suffer'' temporarily in the present if it will help my future self or get me a larger #benefit down the line. etc. etc. But to me that just seems like.. literally the only rational thing to do #what's more important? my temporary emotional satisfaction or my long term wellbeing ? always the long term #it might feel good to just come home and flop onto the floor and shove the suitcases aside but is that like hour or so of rest worth #the annoyance later when you realize you've still got to put everyhting up and now you REALLY don't feel like it and etc. etc. ? #just save your future self the trouble and get it out of the way #But again I just thought it's like... everyone would also do that??? If not then when do you unpack? days later??? #Kind of like how in childhood I still had a lot of issues (hadn't developed cognitive empathy really at all - no affective empathy - don't u #nderstand social cues well or people at all - etc.. which is a recipe for frustration when Living In A Society since people are always #doing things you don't understand and you struggle to communicate properly or be understood like everyone's just speaking a different langua #ge than you) and worse anger problems and there were a few times I would come home from shcool or something and just freak out and #knock my shelves in my room over and break things or etc - and it's like OKAY that feels fine in the moment but.. consider the aftermath! #now I have to spend like a whole fucking hour cleaning my room and putting everyhting back together and etc. etc. and it's like a negative #feeling on top of a negative feeling. not only am I still kind of mad but now I have EXTRA work to do when I just want to go to sleep #So in a more minor way it's the same thing like.. If I feel shitty from traveling I don't want to DOUBLE the shitty by having extra stuff to #do later and some task looming over my head. I want to get all the bad out of the way first so I can just have uninterrupted peace later lol #if that makes sense? idk lol #The one exception is once recently I had been somewhere and got legit heat exhaustion and was throwing up by the time I got home so #I didn't unpack everything then. But after cooling off and having pedilyte and stuff I still shakily unpacked before I went to bed lol

[itspileofgoodthings]

Something HYSTERICALLY funny to me about the literal opening lines of the album being Joe’s silence and calm and Taylor both resting in it but also about to midnight chatter/complain/vent/reminisce/sob for the next 44 minutes

#you can feel him as a place of rest for Taylor #all that not marrying nonsense. like again. Taylor can say what she needs to say as she wrestled with old wounds and crushing expectations #etc. #YOU need to marry her. period. full stop. #it will not be enough for her until/if you do #(I hope you have already and we don’t know but yeah.) #like. it’s literally your job Joseph #okay I’m going to stop talking about this specific aspect of it but yeah. #Taylor’s wounds. the weight of things. her fragile bitter heart #like. you as a calm and reserved British actor with self-possession etc. have literally one job #and it is NOT your acting job #anyway overall I love his presence on the album. somehow more revealing than ever #not his personality in itself but flashes of it I guess. and mostly what he means for Taylor #this anchor of stability that has unlocked (honestly) her potential to be her most insane self #in the BEST way #she doesn’t have to hold back #the OLDER Taylor gets the more I am astonished to find how much agonizing restraint there was in those early albums #of course not all of her vocabulary and darkness and wounds (or loves) were as developed now #but there is this sense that she was keeping herself in such check #in order to be likeable #the fascinating power was still there but the range of her sheer personaltiy #the bitterness the rancor the need for peace even the softness #their deep twisted complicated roots were mostly hidden and disguised #and time reveals them #(though also the funny thing about a taylor album is that it wears sweeter with time) #until I can almost hear no bitterness #but at first that’s ALL I hear

[measuringbliss]

I just read an interesting ask (not to my account) and answer about Hermione's role as the fandom bicycle and both accounts made fair points (excessive Ron bashing, Hermione is held to huge standards) but conveniently forgot to point out that a big part of Hermione-centric fics are about empowering her (and the author empowering themselves through her). If she's often paired with more mature/older characters, it's not only because she's a popular character that is handy for writing smut about any other character... but because people genuinely think Hermione deserves better than someone they see as inferior (Ron) and not only that, but see her getting with someone else as reclaiming herself, freeing herself from her destiny (the canon). It's a Fix-It of some sorts.

I don't know, the post (which I won't link since both people seemed pretty dead set on their opinion and I'm not particularly trying to change anyone's mind, I'm just rambling for myself and possibly anyone else who's interested in that) really paints Hermione as a fragile thing and I think it does her a disservice.

(One of the two people also seemed to think that shipping characters meant you wanted to see them together in canon, which, assflash newshole: no)

#The newsflash asshole part is a reference. I'm not insulting anyone #A meme inside a meme #Putting a iasip meme in a hp post. How funny of me #The last HP fic I read was about Hermione crushing as a teenager on Hot Single Dad James Potter (thank you Fanlore) #and getting in a relationship with him when she's an adult. It's funny. Adorable. Horny. It's a great fic. #I'm not interested in debating what I've written with *a certain crowd* btw. It's an observation not a prompt. It's what I've seen. #Like I genuinely think H is a big candidate for self-insert as the main girl who's greatly developed #Now do I ship Snape with H. Nah. I don't have the crush on Alan Rickman that most Snape/X fan seems to have #But it makes perfect sense that H would be more interested in older/more mature people. I mean she canonically is with Krum #Like it's not a reach. It's there in canon and I think a lot of people who were deemed mature for their age (hi) will relate #I absolutely prefer hanging out with older people and my taste in partner is similar. It makes sense. #Anyway not putting the main tags here. I just wanted to react. Minimizing her is disservice. That's all.

[xxxcertifiednerdxxx]

You’re never too dumb for Jesus btw

#I feel like in the movement of focusing more on what we offer as thinking individuals and caring less about physical appearance #I understand that common sense is important to develop #and also the desire to learn and grow is amazing!!! #but also not everyone is going to be brilliant #not everyone is going to be a genius #not everyone is going to be smart even #what’s more important is being humble and willing to grow and also knowing your own self worth is based on not how much you can offer #but how much you choose to offer #if you give all you can to be a loving person and work to make the world a better place #regardless of if you went to Ivy League or community college or no college at all #or if you dropped out of high school or work your way up through a corporation #or stay at one job and never rise through the ranks bc you like serving where you are #that’s what’s important #I base my worth on the unconditional fact that I’m a child of Heavenly Parents who love me #and I don’t have the same capabilities or mental facilities as someone else necessarily and that’s ok #I am how God made me and my weaknesses are never enough to get in the way of me accomplishing what He wants me to do #sorry I have to learn the same lesson over and over #sorry certain things just don’t click for me and I struggle to understand a lot #but I can still be a tool for good in this world #I can still be a beacon of hope #I can still be a candle on a hilltop #bc of His Atonement and His Resurrection there is literally nothing I can’t endure with His help #ok I guess that’s my Easter message #if anyone else struggles with their self esteem concerning their intelligence #you are a valued human being and I love you #especially since some people assume others are unintelligent when their brains are just different #I think I’m both #like I think differently but also I’m just a lil dumb #and that’s ok #im my Heavenly Father’s daughter who is strong and faithful and a lil dumb but He is guiding me so it’s ok

[lesbienneanarchiste]

I think that it is important to be able to have in depth discussions about media and society and Deep Topics™️ and just as fervently I think it is important to have someone in ur life who doesn't judge u when u just wanna be a fan of something and to the utmost degree I think it is important that both of those things come from the same person.

#this is random bullshit pulled straight from the braincell so it may not make sense but I'm posting it while i think abt it #I just think it helps u develop a stronger sense of self of place and of interconnectivity #when you have someone who BOTH understands nuance and how to have a discussion that is not a court trial where someone is Right or Wrong #and who also accepts understands and encourages your sense of enjoyment and attraction and joy #the mortifying ordeal of being known. the rewards of being loved. etc. #especially ESPECIALLY when you have been subjected to people who are not able to do both of those things #who either enjoy dissecting media but cannot embrace your joy #or who can only appreciate the immediate enjoyment and take discussion as attack #something something i was bullied for my interests as a kid and now I'm surprised when people dont hate me for liking things #so when friends not only love and accept me despite not sharing those interests but also like exploring nuance and themes... 🥺🫶 #disgruntled octopus

[treasure-mimic]

So, let me try and put everything together here, because I really do think it needs to be talked about.

Today, Unity announced that it intends to apply a fee to use its software. Then it got worse.

For those not in the know, Unity is the most popular free to use video game development tool, offering a basic version for individuals who want to learn how to create games or create independently alongside paid versions for corporations or people who want more features. It's decent enough at this job, has issues but for the price point I can't complain, and is the idea entry point into creating in this medium, it's a very important piece of software.

But speaking of tools, the CEO is a massive one. When he was the COO of EA, he advocated for using, what out and out sounds like emotional manipulation to coerce players into microtransactions.

"A consumer gets engaged in a property, they might spend 10, 20, 30, 50 hours on the game and then when they're deep into the game they're well invested in it. We're not gouging, but we're charging and at that point in time the commitment can be pretty high."

He also called game developers who don't discuss monetization early in the planning stages of development, quote, "fucking idiots".

So that sets the stage for what might be one of the most bald-faced greediest moves I've seen from a corporation in a minute. Most at least have the sense of self-preservation to hide it.

A few hours ago, Unity posted this announcement on the official blog.

Effective January 1, 2024, we will introduce a new Unity Runtime Fee that’s based on game installs. We will also add cloud-based asset storage, Unity DevOps tools, and AI at runtime at no extra cost to Unity subscription plans this November. We are introducing a Unity Runtime Fee that is based upon each time a qualifying game is downloaded by an end user. We chose this because each time a game is downloaded, the Unity Runtime is also installed. Also we believe that an initial install-based fee allows creators to keep the ongoing financial gains from player engagement, unlike a revenue share.

Now there are a few red flags to note in this pitch immediately.

Unity is planning on charging a fee on all games which use its engine.

This is a flat fee per number of installs.

They are using an always online runtime function to determine whether a game is downloaded.

There is just so many things wrong with this that it's hard to know where to start, not helped by this FAQ which doubled down on a lot of the major issues people had.

I guess let's start with what people noticed first. Because it's using a system baked into the software itself, Unity would not be differentiating between a "purchase" and a "download". If someone uninstalls and reinstalls a game, that's two downloads. If someone gets a new computer or a new console and downloads a game already purchased from their account, that's two download. If someone pirates the game, the studio will be asked to pay for that download.

Q: How are you going to collect installs? A: We leverage our own proprietary data model. We believe it gives an accurate determination of the number of times the runtime is distributed for a given project. Q: Is software made in unity going to be calling home to unity whenever it's ran, even for enterprice licenses? A: We use a composite model for counting runtime installs that collects data from numerous sources. The Unity Runtime Fee will use data in compliance with GDPR and CCPA. The data being requested is aggregated and is being used for billing purposes. Q: If a user reinstalls/redownloads a game / changes their hardware, will that count as multiple installs? A: Yes. The creator will need to pay for all future installs. The reason is that Unity doesn’t receive end-player information, just aggregate data. Q: What's going to stop us being charged for pirated copies of our games? A: We do already have fraud detection practices in our Ads technology which is solving a similar problem, so we will leverage that know-how as a starting point. We recognize that users will have concerns about this and we will make available a process for them to submit their concerns to our fraud compliance team.

This is potentially related to a new system that will require Unity Personal developers to go online at least once every three days.

Starting in November, Unity Personal users will get a new sign-in and online user experience. Users will need to be signed into the Hub with their Unity ID and connect to the internet to use Unity. If the internet connection is lost, users can continue using Unity for up to 3 days while offline. More details to come, when this change takes effect.

It's unclear whether this requirement will be attached to any and all Unity games, though it would explain how they're theoretically able to track "the number of installs", and why the methodology for tracking these installs is so shit, as we'll discuss later.

Unity claims that it will only leverage this fee to games which surpass a certain threshold of downloads and yearly revenue.

Only games that meet the following thresholds qualify for the Unity Runtime Fee: Unity Personal and Unity Plus: Those that have made $200,000 USD or more in the last 12 months AND have at least 200,000 lifetime game installs. Unity Pro and Unity Enterprise: Those that have made $1,000,000 USD or more in the last 12 months AND have at least 1,000,000 lifetime game installs.

They don't say how they're going to collect information on a game's revenue, likely this is just to say that they're only interested in squeezing larger products (games like Genshin Impact and Honkai: Star Rail, Fate Grand Order, Among Us, and Fall Guys) and not every 2 dollar puzzle platformer that drops on Steam. But also, these larger products have the easiest time porting off of Unity and the most incentives to, meaning realistically those heaviest impacted are going to be the ones who just barely meet this threshold, most of them indie developers.

Aggro Crab Games, one of the first to properly break this story, points out that systems like the Xbox Game Pass, which is already pretty predatory towards smaller developers, will quickly inflate their "lifetime game installs" meaning even skimming the threshold of that 200k revenue, will be asked to pay a fee per install, not a percentage on said revenue.

[IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Hey Gamers!

Today, Unity (the engine we use to make our games) announced that they'll soon be taking a fee from developers for every copy of the game installed over a certain threshold - regardless of how that copy was obtained.

Guess who has a somewhat highly anticipated game coming to Xbox Game Pass in 2024? That's right, it's us and a lot of other developers.

That means Another Crab's Treasure will be free to install for the 25 million Game Pass subscribers. If a fraction of those users download our game, Unity could take a fee that puts an enormous dent in our income and threatens the sustainability of our business.

And that's before we even think about sales on other platforms, or pirated installs of our game, or even multiple installs by the same user!!!

This decision puts us and countless other studios in a position where we might not be able to justify using Unity for our future titles. If these changes aren't rolled back, we'll be heavily considering abandoning our wealth of Unity expertise we've accumulated over the years and starting from scratch in a new engine. Which is really something we'd rather not do.

On behalf of the dev community, we're calling on Unity to reverse the latest in a string of shortsighted decisions that seem to prioritize shareholders over their product's actual users.

I fucking hate it here.

-Aggro Crab - END DESCRIPTION]

That fee, by the way, is a flat fee. Not a percentage, not a royalty. This means that any games made in Unity expecting any kind of success are heavily incentivized to cost as much as possible.

[IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A table listing the various fees by number of Installs over the Install Threshold vs. version of Unity used, ranging from $0.01 to $0.20 per install. END DESCRIPTION]

Basic elementary school math tells us that if a game comes out for $1.99, they will be paying, at maximum, 10% of their revenue to Unity, whereas jacking the price up to $59.99 lowers that percentage to something closer to 0.3%. Obviously any company, especially any company in financial desperation, which a sudden anchor on all your revenue is going to create, is going to choose the latter.

Furthermore, and following the trend of "fuck anyone who doesn't ask for money", Unity helpfully defines what an install is on their main site.

While I'm looking at this page as it exists now, it currently says

The installation and initialization of a game or app on an end user’s device as well as distribution via streaming is considered an “install.” Games or apps with substantially similar content may be counted as one project, with installs then aggregated to calculate the Unity Runtime Fee.

However, I saw a screenshot saying something different, and utilizing the Wayback Machine we can see that this phrasing was changed at some point in the few hours since this announcement went up. Instead, it reads:

The installation and initialization of a game or app on an end user’s device as well as distribution via streaming or web browser is considered an “install.” Games or apps with substantially similar content may be counted as one project, with installs then aggregated to calculate the Unity Runtime Fee.

Screenshot for posterity:

That would mean web browser games made in Unity would count towards this install threshold. You could legitimately drive the count up simply by continuously refreshing the page. The FAQ, again, doubles down.

Q: Does this affect WebGL and streamed games? A: Games on all platforms are eligible for the fee but will only incur costs if both the install and revenue thresholds are crossed. Installs - which involves initialization of the runtime on a client device - are counted on all platforms the same way (WebGL and streaming included).

And, what I personally consider to be the most suspect claim in this entire debacle, they claim that "lifetime installs" includes installs prior to this change going into effect.

Will this fee apply to games using Unity Runtime that are already on the market on January 1, 2024? Yes, the fee applies to eligible games currently in market that continue to distribute the runtime. We look at a game's lifetime installs to determine eligibility for the runtime fee. Then we bill the runtime fee based on all new installs that occur after January 1, 2024.

Again, again, doubled down in the FAQ.

Q: Are these fees going to apply to games which have been out for years already? If you met the threshold 2 years ago, you'll start owing for any installs monthly from January, no? (in theory). It says they'll use previous installs to determine threshold eligibility & then you'll start owing them for the new ones. A: Yes, assuming the game is eligible and distributing the Unity Runtime then runtime fees will apply. We look at a game's lifetime installs to determine eligibility for the runtime fee. Then we bill the runtime fee based on all new installs that occur after January 1, 2024.

That would involve billing companies for using their software before telling them of the existence of a bill. Holding their actions to a contract that they performed before the contract existed!

Okay. I think that's everything. So far.

There is one thing that I want to mention before ending this post, unfortunately it's a little conspiratorial, but it's so hard to believe that anyone genuinely thought this was a good idea that it's stuck in my brain as a significant possibility.

A few days ago it was reported that Unity's CEO sold 2,000 shares of his own company.

On September 6, 2023, John Riccitiello, President and CEO of Unity Software Inc (NYSE:U), sold 2,000 shares of the company. This move is part of a larger trend for the insider, who over the past year has sold a total of 50,610 shares and purchased none.

I would not be surprised if this decision gets reversed tomorrow, that it was literally only made for the CEO to short his own goddamn company, because I would sooner believe that this whole thing is some idiotic attempt at committing fraud than a real monetization strategy, even knowing how unfathomably greedy these people can be.

So, with all that said, what do we do now?

Well, in all likelihood you won't need to do anything. As I said, some of the biggest names in the industry would be directly affected by this change, and you can bet your bottom dollar that they're not just going to take it lying down. After all, the only way to stop a greedy CEO is with a greedier CEO, right?

(I fucking hate it here.)

And that's not mentioning the indie devs who are already talking about abandoning the engine.

[Links display tweets from the lead developer of Among Us saying it'd be less costly to hire people to move the game off of Unity and Cult of the Lamb's official twitter saying the game won't be available after January 1st in response to the news.]

That being said, I'm still shaken by all this. The fact that Unity is openly willing to go back and punish its developers for ever having used the engine in the past makes me question my relationship to it.

The news has given rise to the visibility of free, open source alternative Godot, which, if you're interested, is likely a better option than Unity at this point. Mostly, though, I just hope we can get out of this whole, fucking, environment where creatives are treated as an endless mill of free profits that's going to be continuously ratcheted up and up to drive unsustainable infinite corporate growth that our entire economy is based on for some fuckin reason.

Anyways, that's that, I find having these big posts that break everything down to be helpful.

#Unity #Unity3D #Video Games #Game Development #Game Developers #fuckshit #I don't know what to tag news like this

[prettieinpink]

HAVING AN INTENTIONAL ROOM

Your room is the most important place in your life. You sleep, wake up, heal and experience many emotions just in your room. You have to take care of your room, so it is spiritually the ideal place to grow into the best version of yourself. 

KEEPING YOUR ROOM CLEAN 

Keeping your room free of mess is an act of mindfulness and self-discipline that supports your overall journey and connects you with your higher self. It helps with promoting clarity, and cultivating inner balance and is an everyday self-care ritual. 

Make your bed every day. You have to respect the place in which you sleep and heal.

Hang up clean clothes after the day or put any dirty clothes in your laundry hamper, avoid tossing them on the floor. 

Find a place for everything, and know where everything is. If you do not know where each thing in your room is located, you either have too much clutter or you’re disorganised. 

Tidy up your room daily, neatly putting everything away in its place. If needed, buy a few organisers. 

Don’t leave rubbish for extended periods. Treat your room like a temple, don’t disrespect it, and pick up after yourself. 

Try to avoid eating meals in your bedroom. We forget the dirty dishes over time, and it stinks and attracts unwanted bugs. 

Change bed sheets regularly. Once a week at the most, for more hygienic reasons though. 

Remove unwanted items on your bedside table. Keep it minimal and intentional with anything you want to place on it.

Regularly clean up the dust in your room, using a duster or a damp microfiber cloth on all of the surfaces. 

ENCOURAGING GROWTH IN YOUR LIFE

A room designed to encourage inner growth serves as a physical reminder of your commitment to self-improvement, personal development, and overall well-being. It creates an environment helpful to improvement, self-reflection, and positive change.

Keep specific areas of your room designated to one task in your life. For me, my desk is for productivity, my bed is for resting or relaxing and my bedroom floor is for mindful activities. 

Throw away any items that do not serve a purpose to you anymore. Avoid keeping items that bring you painful or harmful memories.

Minimise the presence of technology in your room. I suggest having zones in your room which is device-free or having a time of day in which devices are not allowed in your room. 

Create a vision board poster in your room that you can see every day, which helps to visualise and motivate you to create your dream life. 

Place meaningful quotes, affirmations, mantras or prayers as reminders of the values, mindsets or intentions you wish to cultivate in your life.

Display personal achievements. If you won any awards or certificates, place them in a way in which you can view them every day. If you have done something in your life that you think is an achievement but have no award to display, just simply create your own. Buy some balsawood and glue it together to create your own medal. 

Place items that align with the habits or routines you want to cultivate in your life so that they are easily accessible. Put a workout mat in the corner, always have your journal on your desk or have a cold water bottle ready to go when you wake up. 

3. DECORATING YOUR ROOM TO REFLECT YOU

Decorating your room in a way that reflects your true self brings a sense of authenticity and comfort. It creates a nurturing environment that allows for self-expression, reflection, and personal growth which ultimately contributes to your journey of inner development.

Make a mood board or vision board of how you would want your room to look, how it supports you and how it makes you feel. Choose a colour scheme in this process as well.

Add candles or incense that you think embodies who you are, or who you want to be. For example, if I want to be a cleaner person, I would choose a candle that smells like fresh linen. 

Put up posters of things that you like, people who you look up to or anything that expresses who you are.

Add a canopy to your bed while you sleep. So cute, and I believe it helps protect you from any unwanted energy entering through you while you sleep. 

Add a rug, even if you already have carpet, to enhance the cozy ambience of the room. 

An ottoman at the end of the bed can elevate your room to look more expensive, if needed, it can also be an organiser for your extra things. 

Put life in your room, adding low-maintenance plants or flowers can liven it up. A little extra, research some plants or flowers meaning’s and pick one that resonates with you. 

Display any of your favourite jewellery, bags, clothing pieces, or make-up around your room. A nice way to appreciate what you have, without actually using them. 

#becoming that girl #clean girl #green juice girl #becoming her #that girl #that girl lifestyle #glow up #glow up era #pink pilates girl #dream girl #dream girl life #pink pilates princess #it girl #it girl energy #it girl tips #dream girl tips #feminine energy #feminine journey #that girl energy #that girl routine #wonyoungism #hyperfemininity #hypergamyblr #self improvement #self development #self help #self care #self growth #self love #inner strength