#idk i guess getting older just made me see how much harder it is for writers to write development than killing the character off

[osmanthus-dandelion-wine]

genuinely shocked at the amount of people that think character death = good story. In most circumstances, character deaths seem like an easy way out for shock value rather than meaningful development (Signora for example). Some of the best character arcs are those where the writers had to figure out how to develop the character in the arc of the story rather than just killing them and moving on

#genshin impact #genshin impact spoilers #xiao #la signora #criticism #hyv has done good jobs when a character had to die and it was a satisfying end to their arcs (himeko or otto more recently) #and they flubbed it before with signora #the whole point of the quest was for xiao to shake this mindset of a warrior's death and that he has to be alone and die alone #that is exactly why yelan was there to challenge that point since she hates the idea of self sacrifice and being the only one to survive #both suffered survivor's guilt and had two completely different ways they went about coping #and the end of that quest was genuinely one of the only times xiao did not degrade himself as a slaughterer #and he was proud to be a yaksha #because his duty was to protect the people #so why set all that up for him to die #it would have been sadder but after a while you'd think 'that made no sense' #ffs he didn't want to die either he tried to bring a rock to make bosacius' shrine #idk i guess getting older just made me see how much harder it is for writers to write development than killing the character off #and another series did initially kill their character off and it was not satisfying #so when they redux their game and had that character finish their arc what do you know they had one of the best character arcs

[dogtoling]

how do you come up with your ocs personalities, designs, and stories? (sorry idk how to word this properly)

Honestly this is a really good question and really hard to answer because I have no idea myself, and it also really depends on the OC. With most of my older OCs like Amber or Peppermint, when i made them initially it was pretty much a random grab bag and I've just been building on that over time to see what works. A lot of the times I'll make an OC and they will just kind of drift over time to be completely different, and that just happens naturally. They don't tell you this about OC or character design but after a certain point it stops being character design because the OC will just have a mind of their own so it can actually become really hard to make decisions like, "what job should this character have?" or "should this OC get a new haircut?" because it's not even your choice at some point. It pretty much becomes "WOULD this OC do such and such".

Historically when it comes to making OCs I've had like, dozens of OCs that never become anything and it's really a case of lacking identity or purposes. A lot of the time when making OCs in the past I've just sat down and tried to design a random character and assign them some kind of super basic personality and gearset from the game, and that often goes NOWHERE. So more recently when I've been making characters I've been trying to start from establishing what kind of character I could include in the general setting, what their "purpose" is, and THEN work on the design and character itself to fit that part.

My most recent character is actually Frillda, and for her I just had the basic premise of "i need a cool meangirl character for this lowkey evil Turf team". And I also failed, because she's not very evil at all, but she still fits the role I think. But that's part of the fun I guess, and I struggled like hell to get her design to a point where it felt good, and considering i've drawn her literally twice it WILL probably change over time.

But basically when it comes to OC designs and personalities, I find that leaning hard into a theme or personality trait will make a more interesting character than trying to immediately balance out the character into a more "realistic" one. By interesting I mean like, memorable and impactful, to where that character has a clear identity. Once you have that, it in turn becomes much more interesting working out how that character would act in different situations, and how they deal with stuff like anger or unwelcome surprises. So like my current go-to strategy is start simple, don't be afraid to lean into weird or niche themes (there's ALL kinds of people out there and variety makes the world feel more alive), and just kinda build from there. And if a character starts developing some kind of theme, try leaning harder into it and see what comes out of it.

As for stories, it's really random and I MEAN it's really random. Pretty much all my character stories have originated from me going "what if my OC did x or had x thing happen?" and then flipping a coin in my head and seeing how it would affect the general story and other characters. And if the result is interesting or at least mention worthy, then I usually go forward with it. Life works in really unpredictable ways and stuff just happens, so I find that just going with things like that and even embracing stuff that comes out of left field can be really interesting to put in a story. And other times the inspiration just comes from an external thing randomly. like Toast only got run over by a car because of that Four G's post I saw on tumblr and I had to assign them to ONE of those, and Amber and Peppermint are only a couple because I did a shipping roulette meme in like 2017 and they looked cute together so I had to work it in.

#thanks for the ask! lot to say uh #mailbox

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

okay final amc interview with the vampire rewatch thoughts:

- I liked the pacing much better. the middle episodes felt like a slog to watch week by week but I think it’s much better suited to bingeing. there were still choices I didn’t love, but the plot was going at a consistent clip the entire time.

- sam reid and jacob anderson were both fantastic! galaxy brained takes on both characters. bailey bass.. her acting is good but I am too southern to be able to take that accent seriously 😭😭 it was painful

- lestat is still given more narrative dignity and power than I would like. he’s introduced having his own wealth and he is the one giving louis money as opposed to being the broke unwanted houseguest who invited himself. he doesn’t use claudia to babytrap louis, louis has to beg him to change her (hated this!). he is given a personal pawn in antoinette, and is allowed to see the murder attempt coming. I feel like sam reid brings the necessary vain, overeager desperation to the role to offset it, but the plot is still like that

- I’m still deeply unsatisfied with all of the choices they made with claudia. I think it’s a huge cop out to have louis save her from a fire that she 100% would not have survived otherwise. I missed the very key book element of it being louis who killed her and lestat who “saved” her by making her into a vampire. I also disliked how cleanly her relationship with lestat becomes one of hate after episode five. there’s zero mixed feelings and they’re both so on the same page about how much they hate each other. I get what they’re trying to do with “they’re too alike therefore they can’t stand each other” but that doesn’t preclude a more complicated dynamic

- I hated that all of claudia’s issues surrounding never growing up seemed to revolve around sex and romance. she’s given the sweet romance/almost romance that ends poorly and marks her slide into being more recklessly murderous and her dissatisfaction with vampirism. meanwhile there’s the OC vampire they invented to assault her… as a monkey’s paw curls situation I guess?? and to cement her vulnerability to other vampires. a lot of her arc feels so defined by men in a way that’s not really about her. it also doesn’t help that in casting an older teenage actress, it’s harder to buy that she would run into issues day to day with living on her own or passing as a young looking adult. idk she just felt particularly Written By A Man to me

- I’m also still unsure how I feel about the more literal domestic violence allegory. with daniel’s cynical quips about stockholm syndrome and abuse. or the way the big fight is framed when it looks like louis might leave lestat for claudia. I don’t mind them becoming violent with each other, it seems like that would be second nature to vampires who are killing every night. their relationship with violence would simply be different than a typical person’s. but then I think the fight’s framing was perhaps too typical to make sense for vampires? idk idk I like abuse narratives and I think interview as a story has always been in part about usurping an abuser so… seeing physical abuse… makes sense but this also felt too on the nose. so I am on the fence

- the pilot and the finale were the strongest episodes by far. I really appreciate this series’ dedication to style and atmosphere. it’s the first piece of contemporary vampire media in a while that feels like it actually wants to be about vampires

- I was shrieking at every single little hint at the larger vc lore, even when I knew full well it was coming. I’m honestly too attached to the first book so any loose show adaptation was destined to be prickly for me but I have zero reservations about the rest of the series. I’m so fucking excited to see it continue and cover more of the books!!! I will PASS OUT when we actually get to the theatre des vampires

- having the armand reveal confirmed makes the entire show so fucking insane???? I was watching this with maka and dolce who had NOT seen this before and it was such a struggle not to dissolve into hysterics every time he was in frame. like what deranged psychosexual nonsense???

- like louis describing being so desperately in love with lestat in excruciating detail while his current bf is literally always in the room?? the extent armand goes to to keep up the charade that he’s just an unassuming human ☺️ no reason to be suspicious at all ☺️☺️ it’s even funnier having the second season trailer out, knowing that he’s devised like an entire costume and sense of style for this rashid character purely to fuck with daniel 😭

#amc interview with the vampire #amc iwtv #vampire chronicles #interview with the vampire #iwtv #i ramble sometimes

[stuckinapril]

i definitely agree with your post, but as a preschool teacher i wouldn’t say kids don’t have interests anymore!! kids are absolutely still passionate about things and want to talk and learn about their interests, but the sad thing is that a lot of these kids only get to truly explore this at school, because at home they just get stuck in front of a screen instead of doing anything actually engaging. and this definitely has effects on their attention span and mood at school, but they’re still generally very capable and excited to learn + socialize with the other kids. what i’m saying i guess is that this generation of kiddos is definitely losing a whole lot at home by not being given these opportunities to engage with the world outside of instant entertainment, but also with separation from screens and some encouragement they’re the same as any other kid has ever been. idk this is a bit ramble-y, but it’s definitely very sad to see when kids don’t get to do any actual learning at home, especially because this usually goes hand in hand with a lack of attention given to them by their parents, and definitely does have a lot of negative effects as you said.

Very good point! I definitely don’t think the next wave of kids is hopeless & nothing can be done. But I do think, just from what I’ve observed of how my little cousins and other children have been raised, that the encouragement you’re speaking of generally does not extend beyond school hours (which is a point you’ve made). Hell, it didn’t for me when I was a kid. And it will be even harder to rewire these kids when they’re pre-teens/teens, bc at that point they’ll be stuck in their ways & it will take hell to reprogram their focus & interests (which is actually something that happened to me).

As a young adult I’m finally taking the time to cleanse myself of the effects of growing up w the internet, but tbh it’s no thanks to the adults in my life. It’s mostly a realization I came to bc I was burned out from the ruthless cycle of dopamine being online gave me, as well as the problems it has caused in my life. Not everyone reaches this revelation. And if they do manage to juggle a life while being obsessed w their screens, then they live it out in mediocrity bc the withdrawal of being phoneless for a period of time are just too great.

The point is not that these kids are incapable of achieving a healthy lifestyle, but that it will be so much harder for them to reach it, just as it is for gen z. And the older end of gen z didn’t even get as engrossed in the digital world until middle school. We didn’t get the luxury of being born with a lifestyle that supports focus—we have to fight to cultivate it now. And it is so so hard to, on top of the pressure of everything else. So I just cannot imagine the hoops kids these days will have to jump through just to gain that focus that older generations were endowed with just by virtue of being born at a time where phones weren’t so accessible.

#if that makes sense! #but your view is also very optimistic and I do hope in the end we manage to figure out a way to facilitate a healthy lifestyle for them #i was j being hyperbolic when I said ‘pretty much fucked’ but yk what I mean. #ask

[chacusha]

Why I don't tag dive on Tumblr anymore

This is something I haven't really talked about, but a while ago, someone liked some version of this post:

And it made me remember that I have unfortunately completely given up on going through the Quodo tag on Tumblr in order to find all the awesome posts that were made before I joined the fandom in ~2020ish. Not because I lost interest in that project but because Tumblr basically made it physically impossible for me to do...

Also for reasons peculiar to my own completionist psychology, I have ALSO basically given up on going through recent posts in the Quodo tag too (meaning all the posts that have been posted in that tag since my last reblogging spree, whenever that was).

Let me explain the reason for both of these things.

So the good news is that Tumblr does allow you to chronologically browse tags. This is not the default setting, unfortunately -- the default setting is "Popular" (which as far as I can tell seems to be some kind of weighted average of recency and number of notes, but IDK, it is a mystery), because Tumblr is an enemy of reason and all that is good in the world. But it IS possible! However, the bad news: for reasons I don't really understand, Tumblr will not paginate the chronological tag search.

If you take a look at a chronological tag search (e.g.: https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/quodo?sort=recent) and try hitting next a few times, you'll notice something: the URL doesn't change. It remains static even though the contents of the page change. What seems to be happening here is that, when you hit the "Next" button, Tumblr is (I'm guessing) using JavaScript in order to load a new set of posts and is changing the contents of the page on the fly. Therefore, what posts are currently showing are entirely dependent on how many times you've hit the "Next" button on your current browsing session.

You'll notice that this is NOT the way that dashboards or browsing through people's blogs works. For example, if you hit next a few times on your dashboard (I hope you have turned off infinite scroll!), you'll get URLs like these:

https://www.tumblr.com/?max_post_id=714110213039489024 (this for me shows posts from people I'm following that were posted recently, April 9, 2023)

https://www.tumblr.com/?max_post_id=71411021303948902 (deleted a digit; this now shows posts from Feb 2020)

Note that if you copy and paste these into your browser a day or two (or a week) later, you should see the exact same set of posts that you see now, as long as you have not followed/unfollowed anyone since you last loaded the page.

Or on blogs that have custom layouts turned on, you can easily jump back to older posts by doing things like this:

https://chacusha.tumblr.com/page/2 (this shows the 11th-20th most recent posts on my blog)

https://chacusha.tumblr.com/page/40 (this shows much older posts on my blog)

Here, the content of these particular pages WILL change as I post more posts to my blog, but there is at least some way to rapidly jump past many pages I know I've already seen. (There are also more powerful and quick ways of finding old posts using a user's archive e.g. https://chacusha.tumblr.com/archive)

As far as I can tell, nothing like this functionality exists for tag searches. Which is incredibly frustrating for trying to find older posts!! Given that I was at around 2018 or 2019 in my last tag search, the number of times I would need to manually hit the "Next" button just to find my previous place in the Quodo tag is ridiculous. And the more time that passes, the harder it gets!

Oh yeah, and to make this worse, anytime you reload the page (you restart your browser, you restart your computer, or you accidentally close the tab and recover it), your progress is reset! That's right: you have to click "Next" that many times again to find your old place in the tag again!

Let's make it even worse: Because of that way of loading and replacing content on a single page rather than just requesting a fresh new page from the server, you end up in a situation where your Tumblr tab is now using an insane amount of memory the more times you've hit the "Next" button. And unfortunately, one weird property of my laptop (my main computer) is that, if it is not connected to a power supply, it will sometimes do a random emergency shut down if it's running a program that is consuming too much memory and CPU. Which Firefox is now doing, thanks to that Tumblr tab!

So basically, after trying many, many times to find the furthest place I reached in the Quodo tag only for my computer to shut down, or for Firefox to start getting too sluggish for me to use anymore (thanks to Tumblr 😊), I just gave up: it is literally impossible for me to reach things posted in the Quodo tag prior to ~2019. Which sucks because I really would like to see things like people's older Quodo art (it's easier for me to find old Quodo fic as long as it has been posted to AO3 because... AO3 is actually designed to work as a functional archive and it sets up its search/browse functions in light of this fact...).

So that is the reason behind the first thing I mentioned -- it is physically impossible for me to reach older Quodo posts now. In some sense, I guess the fact that Tumblr naturally hides older posts from view is nice from a privacy point of view. But from the point of view of a content creator, I find this lack of functionality disturbing. I don't post things like art or fic or meta on Tumblr just for it to only be viewable within one or maybe two years from my posting it. My intent when posting it is for it to be accessible to people years later if they're interested. But Tumblr doesn't let me do this, unless people find my blog and use my blog's archive features to find the content they want (and I better HOPE I've tagged consistently and correctly, which it is hard to do 100% of the time). I really don't like this model of social media posts as ephemeral.

So what about the second point? Knowing that there is no way for me to go back months or years in the Quodo tag without manually clicking dozens of times through posts I've already seen and slowing my computer to a crawl and possibly triggering an unexpected restart has kind of made this activity unpleasant and demoralizing for me. Also, because of my long Tumblr hiatuses, I did and still do frequently fall significantly behind in the Quodo tag. And because I'm a completionist (yes, I am the kind of person who will browse through my dashboard until I hit the last post I saw the last time I logged into Tumblr), the idea of checking out the Quodo tag periodically but in a way I know is very spotty and incomplete kind of annoys me. Deciding not to use the Quodo tag at all and instead relying on other Quodo blogs I watch to reblog stuff from the tag and then reblogging THEM also doesn't work for me because, again, the fact that posts are chronologically out of order and now I've seen and reblogged SOME of the Quodo tag but not other posts is just confusing and one extra thing to keep track of. My brain does not like that at all.

So basically, that's my sob story about how I gave up on the project of deep diving into the Quodo tag and why I've largely given up on reblogging Quodo posts from the tag at all. Now that I've written this post up, I realize I am being a bit too neurotic and perfectionistic about this and maybe I should go back to casually reblogging posts whenever I decide to peruse the tag and just accept that there are great posts that exist out there but now are completely "unrecoverable" for me.

The summary is: Tumblr is great for a random stream of content detached from time, but is terrible for archiving content in a systematic, comprehensive sort of way. My brain and my blog is much more that of an archivist than a streamer, so this really doesn't work for me. This is one of the many reasons contributing to my frequent Tumblr hiatuses, which I haven't really talked about before.

#the more you know #tumblr #complaining about tumblr on tumblr #tech lamentations #basically writing this up so that I can easily link and reference it later

[shameboree]

hey kels i was scrolling through my dash and then i caught a glimpse of your new fallon drawing and i want you to know that i went absolutely buckwild and then i scrolled further to see the whole drawing and i'm pretty sure i squealed. kels ever since ive started following you and your art and fallon have slowly nestled yourself inside my brain its amazing how excited i get whenever u upload a new drawing. also ive noticed that i'm slowly but surely starting to sound more and more unhinged and wild like you. how the fuck do you have so much influence on me. 

ALSO i love the new fallon drawing!! you are so right blue gold and white are just her colours they fit her v well!! and i love how much texture you used throughout the whole drawing and her shoes are AWESOME!! also love the whole winter fairy-ish vibe <3

ALSO i was wondering if you could like sort of,, idk explain your drawing process on this drawing? like if you did the colouring first or the lineart and stuff bc i just love how it turned out and id love to try something similar!!

AW!!! i am so hype for my awful girl to be Enjoyed so much!! she is my favorite dressup doll i love to play barbies with her most of all heheh. also i am THRILLED that my Unhinged and Unwell nature have rubbed off on u. i know i am a Strong personality and it makes me V POLARIZING (i am either LOVED or LOATHED i havent met many ppl who are just like meh abt me. i am an Experience) and its always a DELIGHT when someone finds my feral animal traits endearing or positive and kind of picks up on them. i think because life is short that we should all be as bananas as we please at any point in time. PURE ID HERE BABY

AND TY TY!! my girl has a strong aesthetic and this piece kind of went a liiiiittle against some of that (its a lot of hard angles vs i normally give her a lot of ovals and rounded edges) but for the setting its appropriate bc im trying to give her a bit more of a """"harsh"""" or """"severe"""" vibe (like as harsh and severe as she can possibly look which isnt very). i LOVE to use texture brushes they are such an easy way to get out of drawing details myself because i am SO lazy!!

okay i “”answered”” this i GUESS technically because i typed words in response but its a whole lot of jack shit so like. here ya go. SORRY PAL. 

here are some more shoes as u can see i basically draw her in the same ones always except when i draw her in a plugsuit

OKAY THE DRAW IN QUESTION i kind of cheated on bc i literally just traced over one of my older draws i did for a very obscure au i made of who made me a princess (i am always doing such ridiculously niche shit i love to sit in my little sandbox and have no one else understand my barbie rps) BUT the process is the same as basically every draw i do like this. it is very simple so dont worry (or do, maybe)

i use 1-3 layers at a time and then immediately merge when i feel like im done and LIVE W MY MISTAKES if not!! anyway prepare to be massively underwhelmed heh

this is so funny i cant believe i literally traced my own drawing im a fuckin FRAUD im the laziest bitch i know. anyway. my sketches are way messier than this but it always starts out either scratch ass lines or color blocking w this bright ass magenta bc thats what feels right!!!!!!

HERES THE LAYERS I USED LOL i do all textures n shit as a clipping mask so actually i used 4 layers for this bc id set down one texture or pattern that was gonna overlap on a diff layer so i wouldnt have to work harder to erase and then BLINDLY MERGED to make things more difficult if actually i fucked up before that!!! work smarter not harder except when it is absolutely braindead to do otherwise is my motto

IF IM DOIN SMTH NICER like this then i usually make sure all my lines connect (this is also why i do a lot of angles and simple clear shapes when i draw) so i can set that layer as reference and USE THE FUCKING FILL TOOL BAYBEEEEE!!!!! this also makes it easier to fuck around with COLOR imho bc you can just rapidly swatch with zero efforts. i Love to take shortcuts. i Love to be lazy. i HIGHLY rec this, if i have colored smth that stays in the lines then its bc i connected the lineart and used the bucket fill underneath. if my lines dont connect sometimes ill make a temp line and erase after i filled. im dedicated. ALSO u can see here that my patterns layer is all overlapping and fucked up bc i didnt check and erase fully but i use p limited palettes in general so... IT DIDNT MATTER THIS TIME!!!!!!!!. 

anyway after all that i lock the lineart layer if i havent already and color some of the lines for some PIZAZZ. easy way to immediately fake effort i do love to do that

HERES AN ACTUALLY MESSY SKETCH:

 i do all of my fucking draws on the same canvas bc im a horrible little beast, so the only reason i didnt erase the sketch and use it for the colors layer was bc there were others on that layer already and i didnt wanna scoot them so i could cap the finished draw. i did NOT connect my lines for this one i colored like a toddler. who gives a shit we all die in the end anyway!!! 

YOU DIDNT ASK FOR THIS BUT LINELESS MY LOVE... i just color blocked for this one alas i do not have process caps, i will do that next time i draw i guess if anyone wants that!!? i typically only use a single layer for lineless- block out the shape, alpha lock, then color and carve from there. EASY PEASY!! ive shown it before but i spent all my formative draw years on v limited feature programs (mspaint, oekaki, TEGAKI MOST OF ALL) so i dont explore tools much and do what seems easiest and most intuitive to me... im sorry i dont have any sick tricks or real process i am but a feral little clown drawing in the DIRT. also here is the tegaki overlay i use whenever i am Blocked or fatigued w procreate layout. it makes me feel NOSTALGIC and INSPIRED so i do this instead of like, actually getting on tegs2

this ended up long as fuck and FOR WHAT?? its just 10 images and several paragraphs of “sorry im the laziest fucker ALIVE”

#idk what to say here every time i type anything i thnk it makes me seem just completely detached from reality #its not untrue i GUESS. im Unwell but in a stable SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETED THERAPY AND HAVING FUN WITH IT kind of way #kels talks #damn sorry anon this was a whole lot of not answering you at all

[eroticcannibal]

Hey Risu I think ud have some sound advice about this... I want to learn to draw n be an artist (digitally) but my brain screams when I try cos I'm new n not good at all and idk how to counteract the brain so I can draw shitty things until I get good.... It's hard to have fun when my brain is saying I'm shit and should quit :( Any advice? (I love ur art on ur art blog BTW... Ur art is good but like, not what I'm used to seeing and it's kinda nice to see how a hobby artist art looks cos I'm so used to more professional artists who take comms on twitter)

I was thinking of doing some of my shitty art to song lyrics (they're some of my fav, I draw my ocs in some sort of pose and then slap the lyrics on top in fancy font text or write it on my drawing tablet by hand) - and just don't care how bad it looks but I'm unsure if I can get my brain to not scream at me for not being enough long enough to do it :(

Any advice would be nice <3 p.s. My art is so bad it's like a kid trying to draw (derogatory but only at me) n I don't really have anyone in my life for support cos if it's not good they don't care :/// (well I have one friend, he's also a hobbyist as well, rarely draws cos he has the same issue of not being good and perfect type deal)

Oh hey its how I feel about my art 24/7 (and how most artists do!) So I will run u through all the things I find helpful

Listen. Brains are little bitches, ok? They LIE. They are MEAN. You need to practice telling ur brain to shut up. Like "hey, thats not fucking nice, I'm not listening to u until u have something helpful to say!" And its hard, cus its you, but with practice it gets easier to ignore ur brain being on one. Treat it like a toddler who is kicking off and calling u mean names cus u won't give it chocolate. "Thats nice dear im busy with my art". Like u gotta remember, for anyone trying to get started with art, it looks like a kid trying to draw because that's when most people stopped drawing. Same with any other skill u stop in childhood. My kid struggled so much with handwriting due to being ND that it switched to typing and guess what? Still has the handwriting u would expect from a small child. Because it stopped writing as a small child. I have the coordination with running and throwing of a young kid cus thats when I stopped doing sports. People who stop reading books young will find it harder to read books for an older audience. U do those kiddy drawings, do lots of them, you WILL get better.

Another thing. Heres a secret. For every artist, the majority of what they produce is shit. No really, all of them. Not just the crap you have to produce to git gud, but like, every amazing piece of art you have seen has like at least 5 fucked up sketches that got scrapped. Whole bits of painting that got covered up. All art is made up of mistakes and fuck ups. And even if u are sat there going wow this is perfect! The artist is DYING because they can see a hundred little mistakes that u cant. Art is all about perspective and honestly the perspective of the artist is the worst one. We are too familiar with the details to see our art for what it really is.

The thing that helped me most tho was when I went to art museums in Paris. I saw so much "good" art and im like. OK. This is technically good I guess? But it was kinda meh. The museum of modern art was the most disappointing cus, and listen I stan modern art ok there was some good shit in there, but there was a fucking rack of skis. Someone gone bought some skis and put them away and thats art. Hello? Oh someone painted some squares and came up with some deep meaning and im meant to be impressed. And then I go outside for a fag and I open tumblr and see some crappy 2 minute MSpaint vent art and u know what? It made me fucking feel. It make me feel like NOTHING in that museum had. Who is fucking deciding what "good" art is? I dont remember being consulted! I dont think I fucking agree that "good" art is good! I think shit art is good! Some fucking ship art scribbles has more meaning for me than the fucking mona Lisa, yknow?

And then I went to an exhibit of Picasso's sketches and doodles. Napkins with little scribbles on and shit. And they were so normal. Nothing impressive. And it was wonderful. I've done better sketches! I promise u u have done better than some of that stuff. Honestly so many artists aren't even "better", they're just successful. And idk but I think success is a poor way to measure arts worth.

There is a genuine magic to a hobby artist just. Doodling what makes them happy. Not for money, not for fame, not for skill, just because they want to. Art for arts sake, yknow?

Also I understand it can be very hard to share ur work but I would encourage u to do so with ppl u trust to give u fair feedback. Feel free to send me what u make I will be more than happy to tell u how great it is

[josiebelladonna]

i took a questionnaire about a month or so ago and i took it again to see if my self-esteem improved at all.

idk, make do with what you will out of these—i’m just trying to feel better about myself 

How do you feel about your ability at work or in school?

In school, I worked hard. I studied hard but I often fell short and I really felt like I got lucky most of the time, especially when things got harder. A lot of it had to do with my feeling bored by it: i got bored by the incessant never ending ass-kicking by the course material.

The only time I’ve ever worked I was okay at it. Did what I was told and that was it. No one remembered me because no one asked for my name—I was a barista at dutch bros for about a month. I just made the coffee and I was nice to our customers and that was it.

Do you have talents? What are they?

I draw, paint, write stories and poetry, do ceramics, glasswork, i can weld, solder, make things out of metal and wood, i can cook , i like to bake, garden, go bike riding, hiking, play baseball and field hockey, i can sing, and speak 9 languages. I geek out over earth science, nuclear science, and also fashion of all things. I’m not good at any of those things by any measure, but I guess you can call them talents?

Do you believe you can be successful in a work or academic environment?

In academia, I’m restricted. I feel so stuck (not to mention, cheated out of money). I learn way better by myself, too, and I have decided that should I ever find my way back to school, i’m just going to learn a trade (something with my hands) because it’s so pointless now. I do like the idea of a classroom, though, just because I… like being around people, especially now that I’m older, I like that classrooms aren’t age-restricted and anyone can take a class. I just like how we treat school, though (and when I say “we”, I mean Americans).

And I just don’t understand the point of work. Like… why are you people so obsessed with going to this thing that you very obviously hate doing? I don’t understand how I’m supposed to deal with this.

Do you believe you have something to offer an employer?

I am never getting a job, ever. It’s such a waste of time just doing it for money and “looking competent” (instead of… you know. Being happy and really feeling content with yourself)—and not to mention, the way the world is now, if you’re not doing it from home, it’s a death sentence.

How much effort do you put into the things you want to achieve?

I don’t know what I want, to be honest, other than maybe be happy but that’s it. I quite frankly don’t give a shit about fame or “climbing the ladder of success” in any way.

How persistent are you?

I don’t care about success. I really just don’t care what happens.

…should I, though? I see messages like “be persistent” and “persevere and you’ll get what you want”, and all I can think is I don’t know what I want—it’s incredibly isolating, too, to be surrounded by these determined cohorts who know exactly what they want out of life in their sleep, and i just can’t relate. I want to want something out of life but it’s exhausting to even mention it. I don’t care about success enough and I don’t think I could be, either.

Can you learn from mistakes?

I try to—and I try to remember not to want to fucking kill myself when I do make one

Are you satisfied with your choices in relationships? Why or why not?

I have never been in a relationship (yes, get your shock and surprise out of your system) so I don’t even know how to answer this. I guess not?

Do you feel that you contribute to the success of your relationship? How?

Last time I had someone outside of familiarity tell me I’m beautiful to my face, I literally never saw him again, so… no.

Do you feel able to attract a suitable partner? Why or why not?

I wouldn’t even know how to do this. I’ve flirted with guys and I feel so gross afterwards, like it’s embarrassing 

Are you able to accept not having a love relationship? Or do you need a relationship to define yourself?

I’m fine with not having one… but I’m also curious about it. Like… what do I need to do?

How do you feel about yourself as a sexual being?

Alright. Sit down. Listen.

I don’t like my sexuality at all. First of all, I find it baffling: you’re telling me that I’m supposed to enjoy this? …what? How? Second, I don’t even know how to label it. I love men but I find myself looking at women in that way, but I also find myself attracted to transgender people from time to time (maybe I’m pansexual? bisexual? who fucking knows). Third, I feel gross when I get sexual. I feel like I’m just leering most of the time, like I’m a fucking pervert for looking at someone I like.

I read something about this after hitting my head against the wall wondering what the hell this is supposed to even mean: it’s doing things that make you feel beautiful. Well, the times i feel “beautiful” I immediately regret it (like I’m put on the spot or I’m told that those shoes were expensive). My sexuality has done more to shame me than anything. I feel bad that I like a man and I think he’s sexy.

Even the phrase just annoys me. “sexual being”, it sounds so cliché that I want to puke my guts out every time I see it. I can’t say it without wanting to curl into a little ball.

Do you think other people like you? Why or why not?

First of all, why would I know this. Second, since we’re here, I don’t think they do. I grew up hearing that no one would like me should I ever “be myself”, and I am demonstrated time and time again that this is exactly the case. Even people who say they do like me, I find it hard to believe at first.

How do you treat others?

Like how they want to be. Simple.

Do you believe that you have something of value to offer friendships? What is it?

Came to the conclusion that, no. When someone is friendly with me, I feel like I have to prove myself to them over and over again. Someone considers me a friend, I want to ask why.

Do you require others' approval? If so, when?

No. Never have, either—even when I was getting more serious about my art back in 2015, I didn’t see the point in it. (No one likes me, why bother?)

Are you satisfied with your personal appearance? Why or why not?

I wish I was a few inches taller. Everyone thought I was going to be like 5’10” and I wound up at 5’7”, much to the disappointment of many.

I’m too heavy: i don’t look 256 pounds because most of it is in fact in my bones. And I love the big Buddha belly on Alex (he’s so sexy and cute with it), but my belly is too big and therefore ugly—i’m surrounded by so many mixed messages about body positivity, too. Fat women are apparently beautiful but not skinny women—skinny men are apparently the best but not chubby men, and I have to brace myself for the shitstorm to follow a comment like that. Why?

Do you try to look your best?

If by “best”, you mean in clothes that are comfortable according to how I feel and also contingent on the weather (shorts when it’s hot out, pants when it’s cooler), then yes. I don’t give a single fuck about things like makeup and I don’t see the point of looking “girly” or going to great lengths to look good and you’re going to wipe it off your face anyway. I just don’t get it.

Do you try to take care of your physical self? If not, why?

I hate being sick and in pain

What are your attractive qualities?

I honestly don’t think I’m attractive at all. I get people looking at me but they never say anything, though. It’s like they don’t know what to say to me.

How do you think others view your appearance?

Why the hell would I know this? Moreover, how would I know this? Like I said, it’s not like I can ask people what they think of my appearance without being looked at funny or being told “you’re beautiful!!” in a way that doesn’t feel honest.

Are you overly demanding of yourself?

Not since I realized academic performance is total bullshit seven years ago, no. There’s just a lot of things that I can’t do.

Do you compare yourself to others? In what ways?

My body. Couldn’t be taller and I just ~have~ to gain weight easily.

My art, too. Why can’t I get thousands and thousands of notes on a drawing I made when I get told that it’s honest (and people obviously like honesty and realness?) What am I doing wrong? What’s wrong with it?

My writing, too. Same story there: why is no one reading my stuff?

How do you view success? Failure?

Success, I don’t know. I honestly couldn’t tell you what success looks like: most of it being the fact that I just don’t care about it enough; the other side of it being I just don’t have a single clue because it’s so subjective and so complex and so… illusory and contradictory, too. No one likes billionaires but they’re obviously very successful. Every successful artist or musician is obviously completely out of their mind and a bunch of drug addicts but they’re obviously very successful.

Failure has happened to me so many times that I don’t even know how to describe it: it’s just a noise and a reality at this point.

How do you treat yourself when you fail? What do you say to yourself?

Why do I even bother. What was I thinking?

Do you have dreams? How capable do you believe you are to achieve those dreams?

I want to live in the Pacific Northwest. I want to travel to the places I want to travel to. I want my own gallery. I want to get something properly published—I don’t give two fucks about “the great American novel”, i just want something published.

(cue all the times i heard “and how do you plan on doing this? You need money. You need to find work.” whenever I shared a dream of mine—I hate my father. I do. I really do. I fucking hate him and what he’s done to me. Has never built me up or encouraged me and has instead resorted to worrying and fearmongering tactics and telling me that no one will like me if I “be myself.” Our relationship has never felt like a father-daughter thing, either: more like a “favorite coworker” relationship. And everything I do feels like a “you can’t tell me what to do, dad” sentiment.)

What do you need to achieve your dreams?

I don’t have a clue. It all feels impossible.

Do you have a sense of purpose that guides your life? What is it?

I have ask myself this every single day. Some days, I feel like I have no purpose. Some days, I feel like I’m just here for a good time. Some days, I want to do something great and historical.

How do you believe you fit in the whole scheme of things?

I’m that odd outlier you forget about over time. I get told to “be myself” because people will remember me… but they never do. I never tell anyone “oh, just be yourself!” because I couldn’t tell you a time it’s worked for me and I felt genuinely welcome for it.

What are your spiritual beliefs? Are you satisfied with those beliefs?

I’m agnostic. Organized religion has done so much trauma onto me and the rest of humanity that it’s impossible for me to take any part of it seriously. (My brother is a fundamentalist Mormon and has really gotten annoying with it the past five years, like you can smell it a mile away at this point.)

But I’m not atheist, though. I feel like there is… something. What that something is, I don’t know. And I say this because there are two religious institutions I’ve been to where it didn’t feel like I was being forced to convert and as a result, they were actually far more peaceful: a Jewish synagogue and a Buddhist temple.

Do you own your beliefs or do you believe what you were told to believe?

I came to this conclusion. (A fear of mine is my parents going and my brother forcing me to go to church the way my grandmother always forced me to)

Do you feel guided by your beliefs? Or do you feel burdened by your beliefs?

There’s some guidance, some underpinning in there. How much, I can’t say.

Are you able to develop and pursue interests that are meaningful to you?

Yes. The problem is I get bored and stuck. A lot.

Are you swayed by others' opinions about your pursuits?

Again, refer to all the times my dad or someone in my life callously talked me out of doing something that I wanted to do because of money or experience.

Also refer to the times I spoke up to a room full of people and they all hit back at me. All of them, like I was alone when I told my grandmother to shut her trap while we were watching a movie (one of the many things about her I couldn’t stand—don’t talk during movies, jesus christ ), or when I suggested something and I had family laugh at me.

Do you try to discover the possibilities within you? If not, why? If you do, what are those possibilities?

Yes, but I’m not sure what this is getting at, though. Like, what possibilities are we talking about?

Do you share your thoughts and ideas with others? If not, why?

Yes, but if you took a shot I got shot down for it by family, classmates, people on threads, on here, in fanfic circles… goodbye, my friend.

How do you feel about yourself overall?

“Comme çi, comme ça”, as we say in French. Not gonna lie, I feel like if I have more confidence then things wouldn’t be so hard (problem is the times I have shown it, I’m given a reason not to. And when I seek out help for it, I’m told just complete bullshit like “fake it ‘til you make it”—talk about surefire way to make me cringe. Or I get pushed aside: I didn’t reach out to you for no reason).

Do you use negative labels to describe yourself? What are they?

I’m uninteresting and an idiot who should’ve never been born

Do you use positive labels to describe yourself? What are they?

I guess I’m… pretty nice? I say this because of my past with eating disorders and suicidal thoughts and the body doesn’t forget. But I don’t know what else to do here, though.

What do you have trouble accepting about yourself?

My appearance, my sexuality, and my level of intelligence. All of utmost importance in this world and I come short in all of it.

What do you particularly like about yourself?

You know, I don’t really know, to be honest. I guess I like myself at the bare minimum just to get myself out of bed in the morning and I know there’s passion in there, too.

#personal #mental health #self esteem #text #recovery

[phoebeisempty]

Not bad enough

I don’t understand how seeking help could be so… difficult.

You’re told to admit you need help. To tell those you trust and to tell a doctor. To ask for help.

But then. What. No wonder they don’t say anything more. They don’t say you’ll get help. That anyone will even know how to help. That you will have to essentially help yourself.

When you feel hopeless, admitting and asking for help is 100 times harder cause you already don’t have enough hope it’ll amount to anything. And then not receiving any help shreds any reminiscent hope you were holding on to.

I understand the wait times. The procedures to follow and the way things are and why. Doesn’t mean I agree with them I guess.

Following up with someone should be mandatory. Telling someone they don’t qualify should be mandatory. Leaving them at a “these things take time” for them to find out a year later that there’s no record of your intake and someone decided not to go any further with you without telling you shouldn’t be a possibility.

Maybe it’s my fault for trying so hard. For fighting so hard. For lasting this long. Maybe that’s why I wasn’t able to be taken seriously. I’m just that impressive outwardly that the actual crumple of my being and will are ignore because I’m still functioning externally.

I can’t go a day without thinking about dying. Be it intrusive thought style, to actually wondering how to go about it, to just wishing someone would do it for me, accidental or purposely. I almost acted on it once a couple years ago. The sheer amount of pills in my hand was thankfully(?) enough to stimulate my brain enough to think about it a bit longer. Google has def convinced me that’s a horrible way to do it, especially if I fuck it up.

I’ve been sliding down a downward slope since middle school and I can feel it getting worse and worse. The older I get the less hope I have that it’ll be better eventually. But yet. When I finally admit it. When I make it painfully clear I’m not ok and I need help, that even though truthfully I want to live, all I can think about and desire is not living. That I’ve made it this far and idk how much farther I’ll get. I quit my job. Again. Jobs make me want to end it all. It’s not a life worth living if I’m wasting the majority of it doing shit I don’t care about, just to afford some glimpse of life on my days off. I went from I wanna kill myself to I’m going to kill myself. I quit my job before I quit my life. Now what. I’m expected to get another one. I honestly don’t know if I can handle ending up in the same place at another job. I’m not handling this one very well. I’m not ok and I’m really trying my best, I’m so fucking far past my limit idk how to keep going.

“It’s unfortunate, I know, but you might not be bad enough”

…

…..

Not bad enough.

…..

…

So.. what… I tried so hard and am asking for help just to be told I tried too fucking hard and don’t qualify for help right now?

Wanting to kill myself, but still having a shred of sanity to know that I truthfully want to WANT to live but just don’t see the point in it. Isn’t bad enough?

The fuck is bad enough? Being in the process of killing myself? Having tried to but oops I failed so I’m still here ffs? Is it because I DIDN’T go through with it two years ago? BAD ENOUGH, SHOULDN’T THE GOAL BE TO PREVENT PEOPLE FROM BAD ENOUGH.

Shouldn’t preventing bad enough be just as important. If someone fully decides their going to kill themselves, they will. No safety plan or call list is going to prevent that. When I decide I’m done, when I figure out my plan, that’s it. I’m not going to ask for help. I didn’t fucking ask or reach out two years ago. Bad enough. Fuck that fuck that whole system what the fuck. Help me before I’m bad enough, when I’m bad enough it’ll be too fucking late.

Maybe it’s my fault for trying so hard. Maybe that was what I needed to hear to give up finally. Maybe it’s just spite that I’m playing chicken now. Maybe I’m dancing with the idea of bad enough now. Maybe, hopefully, I’ll be able to be “bad enough” now before I’m truly bad enough.

[panduhboy]

Dear Therapist

I might not say it out loud.. but I love my family. I value my life and having them in it makes it complete.

I don't like seeing us so... distant. Broken... disconnected. I hate seeing my parents fight. And I hate that my siblings and I are all witnesses to my father's aggression. It's effected all of us.. and he pretends like nothing is wrong. We all just have to pretend we didn't see it happening. After the violence, everything just resumes to normal, at least on the outside. Each time, I find myself more disappointed in myself and the world.

Whenever I feel like I'm bettering myself, healing from past pains, something bad always happens. Regressing me back to the start, as a hurt, hopeless, child. It's like I'm stuck in a cycle. Cursed to repeat this pain again and again. It's like a sign that... Maybe I'm missing something. I'm not actually growing or progressing. I feel in my heart that my mother deserves better. And I feel like I haven't been providing enough. I feel the urge to get a job to help around the house.

Idk why the universe has kept me here, what am I really here for. What am I supposed to learn. Is there a lesson...

I feel hurt and abandoned by my older siblings... I wished they cared more. But I don't blame them.. I'm sure like me... They have struggled with issues resulting from witnessing domestic violence. Honestly I do get scared of my siblings.

Venessa scares me, to me she's unpredictable. Not to mention she's a trouble maker, who flexes that she got into fights in highschool. She's a liar and loves a man who has admitted to pedophilic tendencies. She likes to start drama and act like she's the bigger person. Not to mention she's confirmed she's going to buy a handgun with her pedophile baby daddy.

Ozzy I can tell is a troubled man. I'm sure he feels a lot of pressure as the oldest. And I don't know what happens when I'm not around, but he has had problems with his wife and family. To the point where his wife threaten to leave him and take his children away. Like my father, he likes to drink and smoke. And I feel like deep down he wants Pah's approval.

Wyatt has also got into alcohol. He's called drunk a few times. He's a marine and I know he tries his best. But I worry about him. At least he's made good friends I guess... I don't know. I don't approve of military or violence. He only joined for the money but he feels like his time spent there was a waste. And I feel bad for him.

And Cyn... I don't know. She just.. is really emotional. At times I feel like she is trying to be someone she isn't. Or maybe she's finally being herself. She's nice for sure, but there's a disconnect ever since she moved out. I do miss her presence though.

-to all my older siblings... I wish y'all were still around. I wish we were still young. Under the same room. Sharing smiles and playing video games. And though we share a lot of happy memories, there's always dark memories, pain, and hurt behind the curtains. I miss that curtain.

What has our lives gone to.. where will the wind guide us... How much older can we get. Each year passes by faster than the last. And things said become harder to take back.

I could use a rewind. I just really wanna find my way back.

Ling is strong, brave, and beautiful. For everything she's done, I appreciate and love her so much. But I wish she wouldn't sacrifice herself so much, she's gone through a lot just for her kids. She deserves so much more and so much better... She deserves kids who will fight for her, stand up for her...

[shadowgirl138]

Pouge Princess Chapter 2

(Rafe Cameron x Reader)

A/n: Chapter 2 is here !!!! I just wanna start off with saying thank you guys for reading of course 💓 I kinda wanna start dabbling in maybe headcanons or doing stuff from a prompt list eventually once I see how this all goes. So let me know if anyone's interested in that. Also this chapter is heavy Wheezie centric I feel like she needs more love in the Fandom. She's the only one in the show that let's us see that Rafe still has a heart and that's just so fascinating to me. So I figured I'd give her some love this chapter 😁

Disclaimer: I forgot to mention this in the blurb and chapter 1 but everyone is aged up in this and obviously there is no gold or killing or anything (yet maybe idk🤔)

Warning ⚠️: foul language that's about it

Word count: 3,100

You couldn't help but to avoid Rafe like the Goddamn plague after that day at the golf course. To say he got under your skin that day would be an understatement.

All your years in knowing Rafe Cameron you tried your best to understand where Rafe was coming from because the moment he laid eyes on you as kids he made it his mission to terrorize you day in and day out.You would think with him being three years older he'd be more mature but that was never the case.

You'd take the wrath of little Rafe any day compared to what he does now. When you were kids he would pinch your cheeks with his hands and just hold your head calling you an annoying, a little baby or other innocent insults before running off to avoid getting in trouble. It was so much simpler than wishing you could just go back to that version of Rafe. But yet somehow no matter what he did you always seemed to have a secret soft spot for him.

Maybe it was because you saw how hard Ward was on him. Every time you'd come over Rafe was always being scolded, Ward expected the best from him and everytime Rafe didn't deliver the harder he'd be on him. A part of you wondered if this was why Rafe had a hard time letting people into his life with all the high expectations that people put on him.

Maybe this was all part of being the kook prince, maybe the title was actually a curse in disguise. When you have a title like that attached to your name people start treating you as if you're not a person, you just become whatever people want you to be. Both you and Sarah understood that all too well.

When you're back home on the cut, everyone tries to cozy up to you in hope of getting invited to kook parties or to see if you have any dirt on outer banks richest families. Some even go as far and call you a traitor feeling as if you abandoned your roots. And when you're in figure 8 you feel the need to prove that not all pogues are just sleazy poor people and that you're not just there to steal from them. That's why you always tried your hardest to prove everyone wrong and show them that just because you're a pogue doesn't mean you have no class which I guess in return earned you your princess of the cut title after all these years.

But moments like these really made you question why you even tried in the first place. And as you walked up the steps of Tannyhill after a week of avoiding it simply because of Rafe you couldn't help but to wonder what your next course of action would be if you saw him. Sarah has been asking you for days to come over and hang out with her but you just kept pushing her off knowing that running into Rafe in his own home was inevitable.

But here you are standing at the beautiful, mostly likely hand sculpted doors of Tannyhill. Before you could even get ready to knock the doors swung open revealing none other than Wheezie Cameron herself.

"I'm so glad you're here (y/n) I'm in the middle of a deep crisis and I could use all the help I can get."

"Um but I was supposed to…"

Wheezie didn't even give you time to finish your sentence as she yanked you inside, taking your hand and dragging you towards her room.

"We have no time to waste." She slammed the door behind her pressing her body against it as if she was trapping you inside.

"I need advice and I need it now and you're the only person I can go to. This is top secret stuff here (y/n). I'm bypassing the whole Cameron family and I'm coming straight to you."

"Well what is it that you need…."

"Shhhhh '' Once again Wheezie cut you off this time by pressing her finger against your lips.

"I can't let anyone know you're here Sarah's in the shower getting ready for you. We only have limited time to talk before she wonders where you are." You nodded your head afraid to cause another over dramatic outburst from the youngest Cameron.

"I screwed up big time (y/n) . I think I crossed the line with my crush. You know the one from my school and they totally hate me now. I said something I know I shouldn't have, I kinda called them out on something I know they're insecure about but in my defense I only did it because I was hella fucking jealous that they weren't paying attention to me. But love makes you do crazy things you know."

You nodded taking in what Wheezie was saying as she frantically waved her arms around. "Well maybe you should…" once again you were cut off feeling Wheezie pressing her finger against your lips once more.

"I'm almost done, I'm getting to the big finish." Dramatically she put her arm over her forehead leaning back and closing her eyes.

"I'm just scared that I'll never get the chance to apologize. I really messed up. I guess I'm just worried they don't like me back and I've wasted all this time crushing on them for nothing." You waited wanting to make sure that she got out everything she needed too before finally speaking.

After all these years you really bonded with the youngest Cameron. You guys are just as close as Sarah and you. She truly felt like an outsider in her own home. She wasn't as popular as Sarah and Rafe at school and she always felt buried beneath all their drama. And even though she was younger than you, you always felt like you two shared a special bond.

" Well as long as you've given them space and everything you should take the time to reach out to them and apologize. If you're not ready to let them know how you feel then just continue trying to be a friend, if they care about you too then they'll forgive you just make sure to allow them to forgive you on their time not yours." Wheezie nodded, taking in the information you told her.

"Also jealousy and love make you do crazy things so just be careful those are two very powerful emotions that consume you if you don't handle it properly."

At that Wheezie hugged you smiling widely. "You're the best (y/n) I knew I could count on you for top tier advice. If Sarah asks just say you've been waiting in the foyer for her and that she needs to take quicker showers, her and Rafe are the only people I know that can use up all the hot water in Tannyhill." You laughed before making your exit.

Walking back to the foyer you could see Sarah texting on her phone. "Um, where have you been? I've been waiting for like ever."

"Funny I got here almost 20 minutes ago looking for you. I'm guessing your "quick" shower took longer than expected like always." You roll your eyes as she begins to laugh.

"Ok my bad I'll make it up to let's head outside."

As Sarah and you make your way to the back Wheezie pops her head out from behind one of the closet doors making sure the two of you are gone before making her way towards her brother's room.

Knocking on his door she slowly peeks her head in to find her brother laying down playing on his phone.

"What's the point of knocking if your just gonna fucking barge in anyway." Rafe said not bothering to look up at his younger sister.

"I come bearing information about (y/n) that I thought you might like to hear. But if I'm not wanted then I could always go." She says coyly sitting at the end of his bed as her brother's head pops up at the mention of your name.

"Why would I care about that ?" Rafe says, sinking back down Wheezie knows he's just trying to play it cool not wanting to seem too over eager at the idea of you.

While Rafe has never come out and said it directly to her Wheezie has always known about the secret crush he's harbored for you. She always held a deep admiration for her older brother so naturally she'd follow him around when she was younger. And over time she started to realize that while she was following him he was always following you, watching as you and Sarah would play in the background, taking every chance he could to tease you.

At first she just thought he was being a normal annoying boy treating you like he would his sisters. But as you all grew older Wheezie understood that he had a diffrent type of love for you.

Naturally she found out about what happened at the golf course, granted it took major prying on her end for Rafe to explain why he's been in such a mood this past week. So she figured she'd take matters into her own hands knowing that communication was never her brother's strong suit.

"So I was talking to (y/n) about "MY'' little problem and she gave me some pretty solid advice."

"Wait, what's your problem? Do you need me to take care of anything?" Rafe said, sitting up clearly not getting his sister's hints.

"No stupid I basically refrased the issue your having with her but making like its my issue."

"Oh ok why didn't you just say that." Wheezie couldn't help but roll her eyes at how stupid her brother could be sometimes.

"Anyway I think you should apologize to her but like in your own way so she doesn't get sus about your crush and everything. And she also says that if someone cares about you they'll forgive you just don't get all pushy like you usually do. I know you have no patience.''

Rafe nodded, taking in his sister's words. "I think it's about time you just tell her how you feel Rafe. It has been agonizing to watch all these years. Plus I would love it if (y/n) was my sister in law."

At that Rafe flicked Wheezie on her head "Jesus Wheeze let me work on my own goddamn time, you're jumping too far ahead I gotta focus on today."

"So you're admitting you've thought of marriage." Wheezie smiled, jumping off his bed and running to the door before he could flick her again.

"Sarah and (y/n) are outside. I can get Sarah away from her so you can apologize."

Following his sister out they made their way to the backyard to see you and Sarah sitting beneath a tree facing one another and laughing.

"What are you two doing? '' Wheezie calls out running up to you guys as Rafe stands behind leaning against the back door.

"We're playing our secret game." Sarah says giggling

"God not this again when are you two gonna give this up." Wheezie whines and you two burst into laughter.

For years Sarah and you have been playing this "secret game" that only the two of you know about much to everyone's annoyance. It was something you two did to ensure you'd always be friends and never fight and after all these years it seemed to be working. While Sarah has a tendency to drift away from people she never seemed to drift from you.

"Gosh you two are so annoying together, anyway Rose texted me to ask if you can send her a picture of that contract she just signed for that new house she sold."

"Why can't you do it? I'm busy."

"I don't know where it is. Can you show me?"

"Ugh I'll be back (y/n)."

Rafe watches as Sarah gets up following Wheezie inside before stepping his way over to you. "Hey" He said, towering over you instead of sitting.

"Hi Rafe." He couldn't help but see the way you looked up at him before looking back down, noticing the way you didn't want to make eye contact. Rafe finally sat down, sitting opposite of you like Sarah was just moments before.

You watched as he suddenly lifted his large hands to your face. "Um Rafe, what are you…." Before you could finish your sentence Rafe began to pinch your cheeks and shake your head.

"I'm trying to get you to stop being such a fucking baby and look at me when I talk to you." He said as he watched you squint your eyes and scrunch up your nose secretly relishing the feeling of your face in his hands.

Once satisfied he released your face and watched as you busted out laughing, he couldn't stop the smile from forming on his face as you laughed. As much as he ragged on his friends for being love sick bitches all the time he was probably secretly the worst out of all of them because everything you did riled him up to no end.

"You Camerons can never let me finish a sentence." You chuckled.

Excited that he finally got you to speak to him he found a way to keep the conversation going as best as he could. "Hmm, So uh you're going to Toppers next week for the yearly Thornton charity ball ?"

"Yha it's not like I have a choice really."

"Well you gotta love being Cynthia Thornton's favorite trophy piece to show off." Once again you giggle at his words noticing Sarah approaching from behind.

"Is he bothering you (y/n)? I could always have dad lock him back up in the kennel with the other dogs." Sarah said arms crossed waiting for Rafe to move from her spot.

"I'm fucking going" standing up he took one more glance at you before walking away noticing the small smile you gave him. He was trying his hardest to bite his tongue, not wanting to ruin the moment between the two of you just to get into a petty dispute with Sarah.

"You know actually I think it might be time for me to head home. I have an early shift tomorrow and you know it will take a while for me to get back." You said standing up and brushing off the dirt from your shorts.

"Aw come on (y/n) why do you always have to be so responsible?'' Sarah whined before taking you in her arms. "Come over tomorrow we can keep playing our game."

"I can give you a ride home (y/n) I was gonna head over that way anyway."

Rafe could see the look of shock on both Sarah and yours face and a part of him already felt regretful for even offering. But he couldn't sit on his feelings for you any longer. If he didn't start acting on them then he might actually explode, and a ride home was a good step in the right direction.

"Um sure I'd really appreciate that it saves me the cab fare." Rafe could tell you were agreeing just to avoid the awkward rejection and it hurt a hell of a lot to realize that.

"I'll see how I feel after my shift Sarah and let you know." You hugged her one more time before taking your leave falling a few steps behind Rafe's tall frame.

The two of you got into his truck sitting in an awkward silence as he started the engine. Neither one of you spoke for sometime both just keeping your eyes straight ahead.

"Are you going to go see Barry?" You asked knowing that Rafe wouldn't be caught dead in the cut unless it was to see Barry.

"Uh yha I owe him money and I gotta pay him back today."

"Hmm" your attempt at making conversation fell dead, coming off as more judgmental than you intended it to be.

"So I assume you're going to the charity event next week too. Maybe we could hang out for a bit. I always hated going and I know Sarah kinda isn't invited because of… well you know." You looked over at him to see if you got any reaction.

A part of you was mentally screaming for even asking him. Rafe seemed like he was extending an olive branch today so of course you'd try to grab hold of it and finally end his years long reign of terror against you. Plus it would be nice to finally go with someone to the Thornton charity ball and not awkwardly hang onto Topper for the whole event.

"Sure I hate those fucking things anyway I only go for Topper and since my dad is makeing me this year."

You nodded watching as Rafe turned down your block slowing down when he reached your house. "Well thanks for the ride Rafe, I'll probably see you tomorrow." Rafe nodded as You flashed him another smile, you got out of the car waving goodbye when you reached the door.

Rafe stayed to make sure you got in safe and to get the excuse to watch you a little longer before pulling off making his way over to Barry's house.

Maybe Wheezie was right that now was the time for him to make his move. You're sweet and caring and no matter how hard he's tried to push you away you always end up forgiving him.  Being around you is the best high he's ever had but he couldn't stop the nagging voice inside his head from telling him he'll just ruin everything or more importantly ruin you. 

A/n: Well that's the end of chapter 2 I had alot of fun writing this one. I'm gonna try to come up with a consistent posting schedule and shot for Thursday nights to post. Anyway I hope guys enjoy I have some fun stuff planned😚😚

#rafe cameron imagine #rafe imagine #rafe cameron #rafe fic #rafe x you #rafe x y/n #rafe obx #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron x pogue!reader #rafe cameron x reader #wheezie cameron #obx fanfiction #obx #outer banks #obx imagine #outer banks fanfiction #rafe fanfiction #rafe outer banks #wheezie outer banks #wheezie cameron obx #sarah cameron

[sunrisefairy]

Cameras and crushes

Pairing: George Weasley x reader

Warning: Alcohol, small mention of death, pure fluffiness 

Summary: Y/N is used to being a background character someone you glaze over but never really notice. But more recently she longed for someone to see her, well she longed for a certain redhead to see her. 

A/N: Wrote this for @theweasleysredhair​​ writing challenge based off the prompt “You remembered?” very proud of this fic so i hope you love it as much as i do. All feedback is welcomed :))))

italics represent a flashback 

Taglist: send me a message if you would like to be added @hufflepuff5972​ @inglourious-imagines​ @klausdatprettyboi​ @georgeweasleyswhre​​

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Y/N is very content with being a background character, she’s quite used to it actually. Growing up with 3 older and much louder brothers she was pretty happy with sticking to the sidelines, letting them be noisy and crazy while she kept to herself. Y/N grew up with mostly boys around her, her mother passed away when she was young. Y/N would always beg her brothers and her dad for stories of her mother, wanting to feel closer to her. Y/N’s dad would fondly retell memories of his beautiful wife, reminiscing on how witty and charismatic she was. He’d mention all the small, quirky things she would do which made him fall hard and fast for her. Y/N longed for that kind of love, she longed for someone to take notice of her in the way her dad did for her mum. Ever since Y/N was a little girl she yearned to be heard and seen but that proved difficult when you’re as shy and quiet as her.

Judging by most of the people in Y/N’s life she seemed to attract the boisterous types, guessing her quiet nature balanced them out. She loved her friends with her entire heart, even if their personalities were the opposite of hers, Y/N wouldn’t change their qualities if she could.

One of her friends, although still lively and vibrant as the others, also had a calm and tranquil side to him. George Weasley. Y/N had only known George for a few years having met at Lee Jordan’s 18th birthday 3 years ago. Somehow that night she had ended up climbing a tree with the tall redhead whom she had only met 30 minutes prior.

“How the hell did you get up to that branch?” Y/N mumbled, trying to figure out how to reach the higher branch where George Weasley was currently sitting, his long legs swinging back and forth as he chuckled at the girl below him.

“I used that branch sticking out there and then swung my leg up to get here.” George points to the branch to the girls left. 

Y/N grunts as she attempts what George said but huffs and pouts her lip feeling defeated, “you forget that I have little legs, unlike you Mr. giraffe.”

George rolls his eyes and stretches his hand out, “try again, I’ll help pull you up.”

Somehow, George manages to pull Y/N up and they sit comfortably next to one another up high in the tree. “There you go little bunny, don’t go falling off now.”

Y/N rolls her eyes at the nickname wishing she had brought her cider up with her feeling very self-conscious and unsure of what to do her shaking hands.

The pair fall into a comfortable silence, watching the party goers below them gathered around a very intoxicated birthday boy chanting as he chugs another beer, “we love to drink with Lee cause Lee is our mate and when we drink with Lee he gets it down in 8…7…”

Their voices drown out as George gently nudges Y/N’s shoulder pulling her attention back to him, “soo, Y/N I hear you’re not much of the talker?”

Y/N blushes hard grateful for the lack of light outside. “No I guess not. Not many are interested in what I have to say.”

George smiles, his eyes not leaving the girl beside him, “well I am. Tell me something.”

Y/N chews on her bottom lip nervously and looks back at the drunk crowd, “like what?”

George shrugs, he didn’t really mind what the conversation was about, he just wanted to hear the pretty girl speak. “I dunno, anything. Tell me about something that makes you happy.”

Y/N racks her brain for something to talk about, her palms getting sweaty from the long silence. Finally, she settles on something that always fills her with joy, her mother.

“Um okay so,” she starts staring at the leaves swaying in the tree, pushing down the anxiety. “Before my mother died she always had this film camera with her, my dad used to joke around saying that she loved this camera more than him,” Y/N chuckles quietly before continuing “She would take photos of the most random things, we have this big box back home filled with all the photos she ever took with that camera.” Y/N pauses, fumbling with her fingers. “I wish we still had the camera. You see after my mum passed, dad had to look after us 4 kids and with only one income coming in, it was pretty tough. For my 12th birthday I reeeaaally wanted a new bike, I’d complained for years that I couldn’t have my brothers old one because it was a gross boy’s bike. So, my dad sold my mums camera to get me a pink one. Kind of wish he didn’t because I would have loved to still have mum’s camera with us.”

Y/N finished and chewed her lip realising speaking about her dead mother probably wasn’t a great conversation piece, but any story of her mother always made her feel warm inside.

George hadn’t taken his eyes off her throughout the whole story, his heart fluttering when her eyes had lit up as she spoke about her mother.

“I’m sorry, probably not what you wanted to hear, it was the first thing that popped into my head.” Y/N mumbled.

George simply shook his head and replied, “you don’t ever have to apologise to me for saying what’s on your mind Y/N. I’ll listen to whatever you have to say.”

For the first time in a while, Y/N felt seen.

Y/N’s phone dings and she pulls it from her pocket to read the message.

-Hey bunny :) so 4 tonight, we’re aiming to get to urs at like 7. does that work for u?

It was from George. Even if she didn’t have his number saved, she’d be able to tell it was from the redhead simply from his choice of nickname. Y/N hated when he called her bunny but George insisted on using the nickname ever since Lee’s 18th mainly because he thought it was cute not that he would tell her that.

Y/N’s heart thumped harder in her chest purely from the fact that George had texted her. Her crush on George had amplified over the years of knowing the boy, feeling both thankful and uneasy at the fact that he had so effortlessly slotted into their tight friendship group mainly because he was always around making Y/N a stuttering mess.

Y/N’s fingers fumble as she types out a response, it was her birthday today and all her friends we’re persistent in throwing her a party. They had agreed to a small gathering at Y/N’s place, Y/N didn’t want them to make such a fuss over it.

-Hey Georgie, 7 is perfect! Cant wait.

-See u then bunny, hope ur ready to get ur drink on ;)

-IDK, after the other weekend I dont think im ready to face alcohol again

-nope! no excuses from u, u only turn 21 once

Y/N chuckles at George’s message and goes back to tidying her house, ready for tonight.

~~~~

As soon as it hits 7pm her friends are barging through her front door lugging drinks.

Each of them greet Y/N giving her a hug and wishing her happy birthday.

“We’ll do presents later, first let’s get some drinks into us!” Angelina cheers as she starts to mix some deadly concoction. Alicia connects her phone to the speaker, the living room filling with music.

Y/N jumps as a voice pipes up from behind her, “happy birthday little bunny.”

She turns facing George as he places a brightly coloured wrapped box on the counter with the other presents. He opens his arms, engulfing her into a giant hug. Y/N wraps her arms around his waist, giving him a tight squeeze, “thanks” she mumbles into his chest before pulling away looking up at his warm eyes. They stare at each other for a second before the moment is broken when Fred places something on Y/N’s head.

“A birthday tiara for the birthday girl” Fred states loudly, Y/N glances at the mirror hanging from the wall on her left sees a plastic silver and pink tiara perched upon her head.

“Oh god,” Y/N mumbles adjusting it slightly.

Lee shouts over the music, drawing everyone’s attention over to him. “Okay everyone, the ever lovely Angie has made us each a questionable looking but delicious drink to start the night. So get your butts over here and let’s get this party started!”

A few hours and many, many drinks later, everyone is huddled in the living room, sitting on the couches watching Y/N open her presents. So far, she had gotten some perfume from Angelina, chocolates and a gorgeous photo frame from Alicia and Fred and Lee had gifted Y/N with a bottle of wine and voucher from the little boutique at the corner of her street. Y/N’s cheeks were hurting from smiling so much and her heart swelled at the sweet gifts her friends had gotten her.

“Okay, only one left,” Alicia says, clapping her hands excitedly.

“Probably the best one,” Fred whispers to Lee.

“Of course it’s going to be the best one you idiot,” Angelina says as a matter of fact, overhearing the two boys.

George, who is sitting to Y/N’s right, hands over the brightly colour box, trying to hide his excitement and nerves. “Here you go Y/N, happy birthday.”

The box feels heavy in Y/N’s grasp as she places it in her lap tearing off the wrapping paper. Y/N glances around, noticing everyone’s eager eyes on her. She sees Angelina nudge Alicia’s side smiling at each other knowingly. Y/N furrow her brows, slightly confused then draws her attention back to the box. She ripped off the paper carefully and uncover a brown box, no hints as to what is inside.

“Oh my god, hurry up and open it the suspense is killing me!” Fred says impatiently, George whacks him across the head telling him to shut up.

Y/N take off the lid and immediately her mouth gapes open finally seeing what’s inside. She shakily lifts the film camera out of the box and hold it so gently as if it’s made of diamonds and gold.

Small tears prick in Y/N’s eyes, shocked and surprised at George’s gift, it looks exactly like the one her mother had.

She manages to squeak out a small, “you remembered?” referring to the first conversation they had 3 years prior.

George has a small smile etched onto his lips. “Of course I did, I remember everything you tell me. I take a lot of pride in knowing everything about you actually.” He says, puffing his chest out proudly.

“Yeah like what?” Y/N cradles the camera in her arms.

“Well,” George starts. “I know that you hate the smell tequila because it reminds you of your 18th when you spent most of the night by the toilet. I know that you can’t sleep if the room is dead quiet. I know that you love buying plants but can never seem to keep them alive. I know you never wear matching socks because you think it’s a fun way to spice up an outfit.” He finishes smugly.

Alicia and Angelina let out a small aww in the background reminding Y/N of the 4 other sets of eyes watching her and George right now.

“Well there’s one thing you don’t know about me.”

“Yeah? What’s that then?” George counters.

Y/N doesn’t know where she musters up the courage from to speak the next words, maybe from the alcohol buzzing through her body or finally being sick of keeping this to herself for the past 3 years. Whatever it may be, she’s rather proud of herself, ignoring the way her stomach churns.

“That I have a huge crush on you.”

She expected George to laugh in her face before rejecting her gently. What Y/N definitely didn’t expect was him to cradle her face in his large hands, pressing a sweet but passionate kiss to her pink lips. She squeaks in surprise before melting into the kiss, gripping onto his shirt tightly, scared he would slip away.

Much to Y/N’s dismay George pulls away from the kiss tucking a strand of her hair back behind her ear, “no I knew that too.”

“Wha-how?” Y/N stutters.

The attention is pulled to Alicia as she begins to speak, “it wasn’t much of a secret babe. Everybody knew you were crushing on George. Can’t believe it took either one of you so long to do something about it.”

“Little Georgie here spent months trying to find that camera for you as a way to confess his undying love for you.” Fred reaches over and ruffles his twin’s hair who shoves him off.

“Yep, we were all so bloody excited for you to open his presents so you two can stop pining over each other.” Lee adds downing the rest of his drink then standing up. “Right, now the two love birds have finally confessed their feelings. Who’s up for a round of beer pong? Reigning champion here has yet to be defeated.”

“You’re on Jordan, that ego of yours has gotten large enough.” Fred challenges, everyone moving over to the table to set up for beer pong. Leaving Y/N and George alone on the couch.

George wraps his lanky arm around Y/N’s shoulder pulling her into his side, “I hope you’re enjoying your birthday bunny.”

Y/N grins widely, playing with her new camera before lifting it up and aiming it at George. “best birthday ever Georgie, thank you.” She squeezes the button down, snapping a picture of George who is staring at her like she’s the only person in the world.

Y/N is very content with being a background character, she’s quite used to it actually. But for once she doesn’t mind being the centre of someone’s undivided attention.

#George weasley #George weasley one shot #george weasley x reader #george weasley x you #george weasley fanfic #george weasley fluff #george weasley fan fic #Fred and george #george weasley imagine #twrh9kwritingchallenge

[spinster-sisters]

Precious. JYN

restaurant worker! au (idk its just gengeral slice of life)

TW: size kink (this is yunho we are talking about) boob stuff (this is me we are talking about, praise, dom! yunho, sub! reader. there is some unwanted inappropriate touching done by an older guy but it doesnt last long.

WC: 5k

-

The very first thing you noticed about the restaurant you now worked at was how hot the manager interviewing you was. Yeah, you had worked with conventionally attractive people before, but most of them found a way to make themselves unappealing through words or actions. Not Yunho however, a month into working as a waitress you had to simply conclude that there was nothing not to love about him. Of course, he was dashing, that much was obvious, but it was so much more than that, he was unbelievably considerate of others and fiercely protective of his crew, he had a million-dollar smile and could charm his way out of any problem with a customer. Not to mention he was built like a God with both the height and muscles to make your mouth water. Yunho was lucky, and things just seemed to fall into place around him.

Of course, you were aware of this, as he made it impossible to forget.

As time progressed you became more accustomed to your coworkers and better at your job, soon you found a place in the tight-knit group of friends that worked together so work was usually fun.

Except for today. You have been at this job for 6 months now and somehow, with the exception of Yunho, you found yourself on a shift solely staffed by newbies without a clue. And it was a very busy night. You had lost count of the number of times one of your fellow waiters had to call you over to answer a guest question or how many times it was you who had to apologize to them for their server's mistake but it was starting to get to you.

You had a brief moment right in the middle of dinner service where all of your tables were eating happily and you would have a moment to rest. You knew that if you stood there for a moment longer you would be called over by one of the other waiters so you quickly made your way over to the bar where Yunho stood at the POS system. You used his size as an advantage and literally hid behind him. Of course, people could still see you, but at least you weren't standing directly in front of the waiter's station where you would surely be bothered.

You heard the man laugh quietly, and though you couldn't see his face you bet he was hiding a smile.

"Rough night?" He questioned, talking in a way as not to draw attention to you.

"Of course I would get stuck on a shift like this. Not a single person on the crew tonight knows what they're doing! I'm surprised you're even here, I thought the gods of the universe loved you too much" you finished your mini-rant in a mumbling tone, rubbing your eyes before looking out into the dining room just in time to watch the newest crew member, a thin gangly boy named Trevor, spill a glass of water all down the front of an older woman, and you groaned.

Yunho chose to laugh quietly again before speaking up, knowing that now that there was a new disaster your conversation would be cut short once the newbie found you.

"Don't be so hard on them, you were that stupid when you first started," he joked before looking back down at his screen.

"No, I was not!" You cried, "besides why is everyone bothering me? You're the manager shouldn't you be dealing with angry customers? That is above my pay grade." You finish as soon as the young waiter spotted you and began to make his way over.

"Because I told them to," Yunhi replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"And why would you do that?" You asked thoroughly annoyed. Coming out from behind the man as Trevor was about halfway across the dining room.

Yunho laughed his brightest laugh. The one that made your stomach swirl with butterflies. He turned finally and looked directly at you, just before the waiter was in earshot he spoke,

"Because you're cute when you're grumpy,"

And that is another thing about Yunho that was impossibly unfair. The man was a relentless flirt. And that wasn't just to you, anytime he made eye contact with anyone it's like he can't hold back the wink.

Finally, your peak time was over. After the incident with the water, the rest of the rush seemed to pass without a problem. There were only about two more hours till you could crawl back into the warmth of your bed and give your feet a real rest.

You had just finish bussing a table when the door chimed again. You could hear the host talking from where you were standing, and her words made your heart sink.

"Well of course Mr. Miller! You want your regular table I'm guessing,"

And then the reply in a groveling tone,

"She better be here tonight, I am starting to think she avoiding me,"

The "she" in question was you. And yes you were. Mr. Miller was a middle-aged sleazy man who came in close to close every Friday night demanding that you serve him. For the past few weeks you have asked Yunho if you could have Fridays off like he did, but due to some call-outs both of you had to come in.

You highly considered running to the back and feigning illness to go home, but it was too late.

"There she is!" The gargley voice called out. Admitting defeated you finally turned to look at him, and with the biggest fakes smile, you could muster you replied.

"Hey, Mr. Miller,"

From the moment he sat down he was already laying it on thick.

"Well, aren't you looking as nice as ever? Some might think you trying something," he winked at you. You had to hold back your vomit. The man was and had been since the moment he first sat at your table 6 months ago that you were his alone, if you spent too much time at another table instead of entering him he would throw a fit. If you didn't laugh at one of his jokes about your body he would throw some line like "come on, give me a smile." If you didn't fully play into the delusion that you were interested in him he would push even harder. And he didn't even tip.

So you played along "Well you know me, I always gotta look my best for you," you said trying to be friendly to appease him, but already knowing damn well that tonight he was going to be insufferable.

You took his drink order and escaped from him as quickly as you could. The other thing you hated about him was how long he stayed. Well after he finished his meal he would stick around for a while watching you. So you weren't even surprised when you felt his eyes on your body as you walked away.

Yunho was observing this interaction from afar completely confused. Friday was one of Yunho's days off every week so he had never seen this before, and he must have looked confused because the host had walked over to him to explain.

"It's weird, right? A child could see how much she hates him but every Friday he comes absolutely convinced that it's her favorite day of the week."

It was getting late, and there were barely any customers left in the dining room when you finally took his empty dinner plate from his table. Not that he was ready to leave yet.

"You know, I've been thinking" he starts before you can walk away, "how does someone as pretty as you end up working at a place like this?" He asks peering at you from over his glass of water.

"Well a girls gotta pay rent," you reply with the fakest giggle ever.

"If I had you, you wouldn't have to work a day in your life," he said, "what do you say, honey, you could quit this place for good," he asked setting his water down and grinning at you dangerously. This scared you. You couldn't help but let your smile falter for a moment, this you couldn't encourage.

"I don't know," was all you could say trying your hardest to make it all seem like a joke. You instinctively step back from the table. In a brief moment, you noticed his hand moving twords your body but it was too late, he had already put his bent fingers on your leg and gripped it.

"Come on, you know I could treat you right."

You physically recoiled but his grip was strong. You were legitimately terrified. He had suggested on a few occasions before that he would wait for you in his car after you close and watched you, he knew which car was yours and could easily follow you. It was clear he didn't take no for an answer.

You didn't know what to do, you simply stood there petrified with the man's grimy hand moving up your leg. Just when it was going to reach the hem of your uniform skirt you were pulled away behind the familiar height of Jung Yunho.

"Sir if you touch any of my employees again I will have you kicked out." Gone was the playful tone that permeated Yunhos normal speech. Instead, he was icy and cold no room for negotiation in his voice. But that didn't stop Mr. Miller from trying.

"Calm down son, me and my favorite girl were just having a polite conversation." He said looking at where you were peeking out from behind Yunho, clearly expecting you to back him up. Instead, you looked anywhere but at him.

"No sir, you were visibly harassing one of my waitresses. it is inappropriate to talk to anyone that way much less if they are working and unable to walk away. If you leave now there will be no further issue." He said, still trying to speak civilly despite his growing agitation. In your desperation to not look at the man you glanced around the room. All eyes, both employe, and patron were staring directly at you. This made it so much worse and chose to look directly at Yunho's side profile.

"Who are you to tell me what to do! I am a paying customer and a loyal patron. I will talk to whom I please!" The older man's voice began to rise clearly not liking the way this conversation was going.

"That girl behind you has been my waitresses for 6 months and if I want to touch her I will!" You heard a fist slam on the table. You jumped and Yunho pulled you farther behind himself. You couldn't help but fist the back of his shirt in terror when you heard the scrape of a chair on the floor. Mr. Miller was now standing, trying his hardest to get in Yunho's face despite how the younger man towered over him.

"If you don't walk away right now ill beat your ass boy!" Miller screamed, getting as close as possible to Yunho. You practically cowered into Yunho's back, still clinging onto the fabric of his black dress shirt like you would physically unravel if you let go.

Yunho stood stoic while the man yelled. Afterward, he took a pause, before speaking.

"Trevor, call the police and tell them we have a customer harassing our staff and threatening violence." He spoke with a defining certainty, no room for an argument from Trevor or Mr. Miller.

Yunho's gentle hand took hold of your upper arm to lead you away from the man. He turned you away from where he stood dumbfounded, and lead you back into the office, and locked the door.

Yunho lead you to one of the two chairs in the cramped room fumbled around for a bit with the water cooler, bringing you a small paper cup to drink from before finally taking a seat himself. The room was small, from the way you were sitting and Yunho's long limb his knees brushed against your own.

You stared and him and he did the same to you, neither saying a word. The man before you looked remarkably calm for the ordeal he just faced but based on the concern in his eyes you looked shaken. You hadn't realized you were crying till the drops landed on the shaky hand still grasping the paper cup for fear of life.

"Please don't cry" was all he said at first. He was silent for a moment but your tears didn't stop. He shifted a bit and the knee touching your own brushed the outermost part of your thigh. He sighed.

"Why didn't you tell anyone how bad he was? Why didn't you tell me?" He spoke calmly. He didn't sound mad in the slightest but his words brought a dry sob from your lips. He looked almost scared for a second before correcting himself in a pleading tone.

"Please don't think I blame you in the slightest. What happened was not your fault," one large hand came to rest almost timidly on your leg.

"I just wish I could have stopped this before it happened."

-

It has been a few weeks since the incident. News of what had happened had spread around the staff quickly and although Mr. Miller had fled the restaurant before the police arrived, everyone on the crew knew that he was not allowed on the premises and if his car so much as pulled into the parking lot the police assured us that he would be escorted off the property for trespassing.

Yunho had insisted that you take the next 5 days off afterward and even when you returned everyone was walking on eggshells around you, not wanting to do anything to upset you.

The closest circle of team members made it a point to have outings every so often as many of you were quite close outside of work, and although some of them (with your best interest at heart) didn't think you should come out, it was once again Yunho who advocated that spending time alone in your apartment would do you no good. So here you were at approximately 9 o'clock outside a small bar/club getting excited about your first night of relaxation since that day.

Once you found your way into the building it wasn't hard to spot your group. Many of them were already drunk from pre-gaming and the rest of them were well on the way. It brought a fond smile to your face. When you joined the group there were cries of excitement and soon you all fell into the groove of the evening.

You had noticed Yunho the moment you walked in because he seemed to be the only sober one of the bunch. Of course, he knew how to party better than anyone, but tonight he seemed satisfied to just watch the rowdiness unfold.

You weren't drinking cuz of the practical reason that you drove yourself here today. After making your rounds talking with every one of your friends you found yourself gravitating to Yunho as you always seemed to do. He was sitting in a circular booth so it was easy to slide in next to him.

"Not drinking tonight?" You asked.

"No. Someones gotta keep an eye on these crazy people" he replied as jovial as always, instead taking a sip of what appeared to be coke.

"Well I guess I will have to help you then"

After a few hours of talking happily with Yunho while also keeping a close eye on your friends, you found yourself, once again knee to knee with Yunho. Except this time instead of sitting in front of him, you were almost sitting on top of him. You honestly had no clue how this happened, but he didn't seem to mind. Actually, Yunho himself was now sitting with his long arm wrapped across your shoulders pulling you even closer to his side.

"YUNHO" one of your fellow waiters fell into the space beside you, but with their lack of coordination they ended up bumping into you enough that if Yunho hadn't pulled you fully into his lap you would have toppled onto the floor underneath the table. But once the crowd of crewmembers was alerted of your guys' presence they all simultaneously pushed into the booth so there was no room to sit back in your spot.

You were blushing now, thankful that your friends were too drunk to notice how Yunho's arm was wrapped around your waist keeping you securely in place. As the talking resumed Yunho leaned down to whisper into your ear,

"This is all right? I can get them to move if you want," though it was probably unintentional Yunhos breath was sending shivers down your spine, which only got stronger when you finally came to realize how much larger he was then you, effortlessly keeping your body snugly against his chest tight enough to feel each breath he took, the hand wrapped on your waist was large enough to palm your whole thigh if he wanted to. And that thought was exciting.

"No, I'm fine," though you sounded a bit shaky you snuggled yourself even further back onto his lap to show your appreciation. He chuckled lowly in your ear before returning to the conversation. But your mind could not be further from it. You had never realized before how incredibly safe you felt with Yunho or more specifically in his arms and chose to instead focus on the weight of his hand on you, the subtle shifting of his thighs underneath your own as he spoke, and the deep rumble that moved your body with his own every time he laughed.

When it came time for everyone to go home you didn't want to. You didn't like the idea of removing yourself from Yunho's lap at all. But alas, it had to be done.

As the two sober friends, you two were talked with calling cabs and making sure everyone got home safely. Until finally the two of you stood alone on the pavement. You felt the need to say something.

"I don't think I ever thanked you," you said turning to face the man in the cold air. He turned his body twords you as well.

"You don't need to thank me for sitting on my lap, trust me the pleasure was all mine," he joked, and you couldn't help but chuckle along with him.

"You know that's not what I meant," you said in a small voice.

"You don't need to thank me for that either, trust me," his big smile turning smaller but sweeter. This confused you.

"What do you mean?"

Yunho sighed with a smile.

"I'm surprised you haven't figured it out yet," was all he said. But your confused face brought more words out of him. He took a step closer to you leaning down and speaking in a quiet voice he said,

"You, have always been very precious to me, and that day was no different. I would go to much greater lengths to keep you safe if I had to,"

His words, although spoken in the softest tone struck you straight through the heart. You had always dreamed of being with Yunho but you had never imagined he felt the same way. He took another step, leaving almost no room between you.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked, bringing a hand up to the back of your head. Words weren't forming so you chose to nod instead.

It only took a beat longer for him to lean down and press his plush lips into your own. Yunho wasn't one to beat around the bush and put all of his passion into the kiss, leading your lips with his own guiding your mouth to respond exactly as he wished.

You put your hands on his firm chest as his other arm circled your waist bringing you in even closer. Your mouths were so intertwined neither of you dared to break the kiss for quite a while, simply enjoy the feeling, but soon the need for oxygen won out. You pulled apart gasping, but still holding each other close.

-

You're not quite sure how exactly you ended up back at your apartment but that was unimportant, what mattered was keeping your mouth on Yunho's. You two had barely gotten through the door before your back was pressed against it in a quick motion.

Along with his considerable height, Yunho also had considerable strength, so when leaning down for you became uncomfortable he chose to instead wrap your legs around his waist and lift you.

In this new position, you were at the perfect height to move his lips to your neck. He found the perfect spot on it before sucking a dark purple mark into the skin, nibbling it a bit before licking it soothingly. The wet feeling of his tongue pulled a new sound from your lips,

"Yunho!" You whined into his ear.

He seemed overjoyed at this reaction and desperate to recreate it he rolled his hips into yours. You could feel his hard length pressing oh so perfectly into your clothed slit you desperate cry could probably be heard three doors down. The man was big.

"You sound so cute" Yunho giggled into your jaw, before pressing a sweet kiss into the skin.

One of his large hands slipped below the hem of your shirt and moved up to the cup of your bra. His long fingers groped your plush breast, holding the whole thing in his hand. The warmth of his fingers and the pleasant squeeze had you whining once again.

"Your so sensitive baby," he remarked, giving your breast another squeeze. In an attempt to keep your noises contained you reached out and pulled his head to meet your lips again. This kiss was much more desperate than the others both of your lips moving so fast it was hard to keep up, your teeth clacking together in the process. Yunho rolled his hips into yours again and you squealed into his lips.

Keeping you as firmly planted on the kiss as possible Yunho's hand fell from your chest back to your hips before pulling you completely off the wall and your arms instinctively clung to his broad shoulders.

Your apartment was only one bedroom so Yunho had bo problem blindly navigating the way to your bedroom. As soon as the door was open you were practically flung backward onto your bed. In an instant Yunho found his way onto your bed, once his back was pressed into the headboard Yunho took hold of your body and manhandled you onto his lap facing him, you were once again faced with just how big Yunho was. Both of his arms wrapped around your body pulling you close and positioning your heat directly over his dick, where an impressive tent in his jeans rubbed directly into you. The loose skirt you were wearing did nothing to cover your panties. You kneed into him finally taking the initiative to grind down repeatedly onto him.

"Awe, baby you look so cute like this, all flustered and needy. Look you're making a mess on me." You hadn't noticed how wet you were until this point but he was right, you were completely soaked through the thin material of your underwear, and with each roll of your hips, you were dampening his jeans.

"Yunho," you begged "please touch me,"

"But you look so good like this. I could watch this all day. Sitting pretty on my lap, just waiting for me to fuck you."

"Please?" You cried still desperately chasing the friction his jeans were giving your clit. He flashed his million-dollar smile before giving in, slipping one veiny hand into your panties cupping your whole heats in his hand for a moment, wetting his fingers before sliding two long digits into you. You showed your appreciation in a moan and clung to his broad shoulders again.

"Please Yunho! I want more. Please fuck me." You begged.

"Not yet, baby, I gotta open you up first. Don't want to hurt you do I." As he spoke he speaks the pace of his fingers scissoring them open inside of you stretching you wider. You bucked into his hand.

"My little baby is fucking herself into my hand. How cute," your exhaled loudly then dropped your head onto his shoulder tugging at his shirt begging him to remove it. Yunho chose to first use his free hand to slide your own top of your body before taking hold of your neck and pulling your upper body away from his. With your help eventually, his shirt was pulled from him leaving your view of his beautiful chest and bulging muscles open to admire.

You almost forgot about the hand moving inside of you while you ran your own up and down the Yunho's chest, trying to feel every bump and ridge there was. Your eyes were glazing over in wonder, but you were soon brought back to reality when another finger pushed inside of you, joining the others in your pulsing pussy. Your head rolled back in a moan.

"Like what you see baby? Because I am really enjoying this view." You were sitting so pretty on his lap your skirt had been pushed up and your soaked lacy panties matched your bra perfectly. In all the movement your chest was starting to spill out of your bra.

"Baby you look so fucked out and small right now and I haven't even done anything yet, are you sure you need me to fuck you?" He asked teasingly.

"Yunho, please," your nails began dragging down his golden skin leaving a trail of red lines, "please, please fuck me." Spewed past your lips. A wicked smile graced his lips.

"You want me to fuck you into the mattress?" He asked.

"Yes! Please!" This was almost embarrassing but if anything your flushed tone only made him happier.

"No, I don't think I will." He said pulling his finger out of you.

You whined.

Yunho undid his belt pushing his pants down just enough to pull his expressive length out of his boxers. You watched with bated breath as he stroked himself a few times before meeting your eyes.

"How about you ride me instead?"

You nodded eagerly almost lunging forward. Yunho helped support your body as you hovered over him, before lining you up and pulling your body down onto him. The stretch was painful at first, you could feel him deeper than anyone else had ever reached but you clenched down on him appreciatively. You took a moment to gather yourself, half expecting him to thrust into you, but he stayed perfectly still. You meet his eyes with your own going wide and he giggled.

"I'm not moving baby if you want to get fucked you have to do it yourself." As he spoke he pulled both hands off you, resting them on his thighs.

You sat breathless for a second longer, unable to form a coherent thought, but the sudden twitch of his dick inside you brought you back to the task at hand. Slowly but surely you began moving, lifting yourself till only his tip was inside you before falling back down. You both groaned satisfied but it only lasted a second before you repeated the action, and then again, and again, slowly building speed each time and realizing quite moans every time he filled you up completely.

You had now set a fast pace, you were unsure how long you could keep it but the growing pleasure filling your abdomen kept you moving. Yunho's eyes were trained on you, switching from your blessed out face, to your bouncing tits, to where his long dick was disappeared into your cunt each time it reappeared coated in your juries.

"Baby, if only you could see yourself right now," he spoke over the sounds of skin slapping and pretty moans, "honestly you look good enough to eat sweetheart"

His words of praise-filled your ears and encouraged you to move faster, desperately clenching on his dick feeling it twitch return along with his deep rumbling groan. Your hands were still firmly planted on his chest and you used this grip for support trying once again to increase your pace. Your thighs were beginning to burn but it felt too good to stop, not when you were this close.

"Yunho, please help me," you whined, your legs faltering in their attempt to keep moving.

"Oh? But you're doing so well baby," he said with an adoring smile watching your face.

"Please Yunho?" you asked running your palms down the ridges of his chest once again. Your building pleasure had started to plateau as you couldn't keep up the pace, your thighs starting to burn even harder. You were so close but you couldn't put yourself over the edge and if growing moans from the man in front of you were anything to go by then he was right there with you.

He seemed to consider this for a moment before chuckling.

"I guess my baby is just not strong enough to make herself cum. I suppose I could help with that."

You only had time to breathe a sigh of relief before you were thrown back onto the covers. Yunho's large frame loomed over you with a sinister smirk. You barely registered the anticipation in your body before he slammed his entire length back into you. Setting a brutal pace. You cried out instantly and your voice rang through the walls of the apartment like a symphony.

Each time Yunho's hips connected with your own he hit that perfect spot inside of you bringing more noises from you. One of his hands came down onto the mattress beside your head and the other took hold of your thigh using it to maneuver you into the exact position he wanted.

Now Yunho was grunting along with you trying hurtling both of your twords your orgasms at an incredible pace. Just as you were about to be thrown over the edge Yunho connected your lips again swallowing your moans. It only took one more perfectly timed thrust before you came toppling over the edge. Although your lips were still connected, it didn't do much to help the lewd sounds spilling out of you. The pleasure came from your core in waves, arching your back and making your legs twitch violently.

Not long after you came down from the high your body began pulling away from Yunho's thrust but he held you in place.

"Just a little longer baby, I promise."

And just when the buzzing pain of overstimulation subsided, Yunho filled pulled out of you and spilled his sticky cum across your body. He stood above you for a moment, you both were panting but you were clearly the more worn out of the two.

Yunho's eyes moved across your whole body once before meeting your own eyes.

"Your precious"

#yunho smut #ateez smut #ateez au #yunho scenarios #ateez scenarios #ateez reactions

[lovethisletters]

Poly MC! hc for the: Demon Brothers!

This is my first time writing anything about poly relationships! So I'm a bit nervous! I took the time to do a bit of research about the subject...however I still have a lot to learn; if you find anything that might be offensive please let me know! Just know I didn't do it with any ill intentions and I'll make sure to correct my mistakes!

Also I didn't knew if you refered to a poly MC who is in a relationship with all of the brothers or how each individual brother would react to MC coming out as poly to them and later starting a poly relationship and how they behave in said relationship...so I did the latter bc I found it to be a bit more easy to write and the first option would have been way too long and I was worried it might come off as boring because of it :c (but maybe I'll try to edit it and then upload it...some day...idk)

so...here it is!

Keys: MC = your main character name

Summary: MC comes out as poly to the Demon Brothers and how they behave in a poly relationship!

Additional notes: MC is gender neutral!

TW: small mentions or implications of jealous/possessive behavior (they're very minimal, but still...just in case)

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Lucifer

Lucifer is probably the one you're the most nervous to talk to.

But when you finally find the courage to do so it goes...to put it mildly, a bit... weird.

He stares blankly at you like you just said to him that water is a liquid or something, he's not very...responsive.

His reaction might come off as rude, considering you spend all this time trying to figure out the "best" way to come out and talk about the possibility of starting a poly relationship.

But the reason why he's not talking much is because he's trying to avoid saying anything he might regret later, you see... he's trying to process his own feelings towards the matter.

Lucifer is someone who has lived for a long, looooooong time, so it's more likely than not that he's already experienced being in a poly relationship.

thing is...such relationship was more experimentation rather than something serious.

And now he has you...someone for who he'll be willing to die for...

He won't say it but deep down he feels like his pride has been bruised.

He just doesn't want to "share" you, you're his and his alone!

But when he looks up at you, and see just how nervous you are, waiting patiently for any kind of reaction from him.

He realizes he's thinking of you as an object and not a person and mentally kicks himself in the face for it.

Lucifer reaches for your hand and offers you a small smile.

After a long conversation where you two express your own desires and worries, you two agree and decide to give it a try.

At first... I'm not gonna lie...it would be quite... difficult...

The man is possessive and struggles to see you giving any kind of affection to any of his brothers.

However I think he genuinely wants this to work, he wants to see you happy and knows that just because you also love his brothers doesn't mean you love him any less.

So he'll sit down and talk to you whenever he feels jealous, he knows communication is key and it honestly makes him feel a bit better.

With time Lucifer comes to accept it; He loves you and he loves his brothers and it makes him happy that they all can share such bond with you.

Mammon

I think he's the one who'll have a harder time adapting to a poly relationship.

I'll even go as far to say Lucifer's jealousy pales in comparison to Mammon's and I think this is due to his low self-esteem.

He won't accept it but he's jealous af when he sees you "getting cozy" with any of his brothers.

He'll even interrupt the moment by placing himself in the middle of whoever you were getting close to or think about some lame excuse to take you away.

This makes things more difficult and tense for everyone, so if Mammon continues his shenanigans expect a LOT more arguing from the brothers...(yes...more than normal...)

You'll have to sit him down and talk to him about his insecurities.

The first times he won't be very open with you, I think he might even get a bit angry if you even imply he's jealous and act all offended and walk out of the room.

Surprisingly the one who makes him understand how toxic he's being and how much this affects you is Asmo!

He'll have a serious talk with him, and just the fact of seeing his often bubbly and cheerful young bro being all serious is enough for Mammon to realize that what he's been doing and how he's been acting hurts you and his brothers.

He'll apologize...the Mammon way...

But ultimately he now makes an effort to respect whenever you're close to one of his brothers.

Just like Lucifer. Mammon will come to accept you love him and his brothers all the same.

He'll sometimes even suggest places you all can go together for a date.

Please, be patient with the avatar of greed with time he will come to accept that love exist in more than one way or form.

Leviathan

Surprisingly, unlike his older brothers, your favorite shut-in-otaku has an easier time adapting to a poly relationship.

Easier, however does not mean problems are inexistent...

He has a low self-esteem and sometimes might get the feeling that you're ""picking favorites""

However he won't tell you anything about it, and he'll just try to pretend like nothing is wrong.

Fortunately for you, Levi is quite easy to read so you immediately notice whenever he's feeling sad.

But all you have to do is have a little gaming session with him, and as the two of you "game" the night away he'll eventually open up to you about whatever is bothering him.

All it takes is a little reassurance and saying "I love you" to the avatar of envy from time to time and he'll be all good with you showing affection to the rest of his brothers.

Satan

Uhhhh...this is a tricky one...

You see...Satan is probably the second brother you came out to and perhaps you didn't even realized that you did because it just happened so natural.

The two of you were talking and it just slipped out of your mouth and he was like "hahaha, right?" And continued the conversation as normal.

He genuinely doesn't care, (don't get me wrong I don't mean that in a bad way) but all he knows is that he loves you and he wants you to be happy, and if expanding the love that the two of you have to his brothers makes you happy, then so be it!

However... remember I said this was tricky?

Satan has no issue with you being affectionate with his brothers...all of them except for Lucifer...

When he sees you getting close to Lucifer he won't say anything, he won't make a scene or a passive-agressive remark, he'll just excuse himself and exit the room. (Neither he will confront you about it later when the two of you are alone)He won't say anything at all; he'll just stay silent and pretend like nothing is wrong.

However you'll be able to notice Satan's true feelings whenever Lucifer has a small present or gesture with you.

Oh? Lucifer gifted you a $300,000 coat? Well, Satan will give you another coat but this one is $600,000.

Lucifer treated you to dinner at ristorante six? Well, darling... guess what? Satan will reserve the entire building just for you!

At some point he will notice how bad this makes you feel, since he's turning a relationship into a competition and that's no good...

He'll eventually take a step back and realize how childish he's being, how his behavior hurts your feelings and might have even made you feel guilty or responsible for his beef with his older brother.

Before you even decide to talk to him about it, he already knows what you're trying to say, so he'll be the one to sit you down and apologize for his wrongdoings.

You're someone who he values dearly and all that he wants is for you to be happy, so he'll be willing to make the effort to get along or at least be a little more tolerant of Lucifer.

There might be times where they still fight and stop talking to each other for long periods of time, but the two of them will take the time to let you know that this has nothing to do with you and that there's no reason for you tu feel guilty.

Because if there's something in wich both, the avatar of pride and wrath agree in... Is in how much they love you.

Asmodeus

Asmodeus (definitely) was the first one to know about you being polyamorous.

He probably knew before you even said anything, let's be honest here...

He's probably the one who you're more comfortable talking about it.

The brothers accept you, yes...but Asmo understands you!

He knows that the world can be quite cruel to people who love differently to what our society stablish as "normal".

Whenever he expressed his liking for more than one person he was shamed or labeled as someone promiscuous who'll never be deserving of "true" love.

It happened in the celestial realm, in the human realm, and even sometimes here in the devildom.

Angels where expected to only focus in the lord and nothing else, some humans are close minded and shame whoever is different from them, and demon's often confuse love with obsession and get easily tangled up in possessive behavior, often viewing their partners as objects rather than individuals with their own goals and desires. (his brothers are the perfect example of that)

So he just knows how difficult it might have been for you to find acceptance.

So he gives it to you; acceptance, reassurance, however many times you need to.

He'll be the one to encourage you to talk with his brothers, he'll be there to support you if you ever feel nervous, and he'll be the one to call his brothers out on their bs whenever they start to show any signs of toxic behavior.

He knows in all relationships communication and trust in your partners is key to a successful relationship, so he reminds this to everyone and even goes as far as to make plans where everyone feels included.

Overall the avatar of lust is the voice of reason in this relationship, because he knows better than anyone else that love is something that can't and should never be limited by what others believe or expect "true love" should look like.

Beelzebub

You weren't sure how Beel would react once you told him.

But still you were pleasantly surprised by Beel's reaction!

He was so accepting from the beginning and even thanked you for trusting him enough to share this with him.

He's happy that you want him to form part of this relationship.

He knows his brothers love you as much as he does and that you love them back, so he sees this as the perfect option for everyone.

He even thinks this relationship has brought everyone closer together.

Over all the avatar of gluttony is more than happy to be with you and share your affection with people he holds equally as dearly.

Belphegor

Belphie, much like Lucifer struggles to understand why would you want such a thing?

Is his love not enough for you?

It takes little more time for him to understand you, and learn that love doesn't just limits to one person.

He can be a bit insensitive some times, so he might accidentally say something hurtful to you about it.

And that's when Asmo has to intervene...

He'll have a talk with his younger brother and make him realize that there's more than one form of love and how his words might have hurt you.

He'll apologize...(much like Mammon) in his own way...

After thinking about it for a while, he realizes he's happy whenever you show affection to Beel, and wonders if it would be the same with the rest of his brothers.

Slowly but surely, Belphie it's more open to this new relationship.

There'll be times where he might try to monopolize your love, but he'll stop once you, Beel or Asmo call him out on it.

His favorite thing of this new relationship is whenever you spend time with him and Beel.

Please be patient with the avatar of sloth.

▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️

If you find any grammatical errors let me know! I'm trying to improve my english and that would help me so so much!

I will forever thank you if you go check out my other profile: @aileysmirnov  where I post things about my OC: edits, one-shots, imagines, art, etc. If you like Greek mythology and the bat family maybe you would get to be as fond of her as much as I am!

Anyway, thank you for reading!

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me x reader #lucifer x mc #obey me hc #obey me lucifer #satan x mc #levi x mc #leviathan x mc #demon brothers x mc #satan x reader #lucifer x reader #mammon x reader #mammon x mc #asmodeus x reader #asmodeus x mc #beel x mc #beel x reader #belphegor x reader #belphie x mc

[tendous-socks]

do you know, the muffin man?

platonic baji and chifuyu x reader 

title has nothing to do with the actual plot lol

not proof read

saber is my dog who passed when i was little and i missed him.

idk what's going on with the capitalization, 

a warm up of sorts ;)

“That's what a mommy’s boy would say” “Hey”

It was summer nights like these you'd never forget.

The crisp air that danced in your lungs when you took a deep, filling breath. Or the gathering of stars overhead that watched you as you made your way home. like your own personal guardian angels.

Lights flickered off one by one as the night grew older and the street lamps stood proudly in their stead. It was nights like these that made you feel at ease. So much so that you felt that saber, your fat, lovable mush of a dog would just love to go on a midnight walk.

Although midnight was… less than ideal, you didn't plan to stay so late at cram school, the janitor nearly kicked you out himself when he saw you so absorbed in your homework. the furrowed look etched upon his face when he asked why you were doing all that on a friday evening, when you should be home with your family, or out doing illegal things with your friends.

You gripped the straps on your backpack just tighter just thinking about it.

you'll just have to stay up and finish it later then, after talking your beloved golden out for his much deserved walk.

Rounding the corner, you spotted your apartment complex as it stood tall amongst the houses surrounding it. Almost out of place.

The lights illuminating the road almost like a pathway home as you continued on. Your silent footsteps duetting the chirping of cicadas.

Pesky little things liked to choir all night singing melodies of long before as they woke up from their decades of slumber.

my god you couldn't get home fast enough.

which wouldn't be a problem if you didn't hear an excruciatingly loud cackle from your complex.

and due to the light of the street lamps, if you could squint hard  enough you could see the silhouettes of two people sitting on the stairs that allowed you to go up…

damn it

this was gonna be weird 

as silent as a church mouse, you trudged your way over to them. Thoughts a second as you scratched your brain for something to say

something that you wont wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat regretting saying.

“uhm excuse me… i need to get up there so, yeah” you said, knuckles white as you felt your body heat up. 

You didn't bother to catch a full glance at them, only noting their black uniforms and that one had long, black hair and another had a yellow undercut.

“Oh yeah sure! Sorry about that..” You chuckled nervously as the yellow one scooched over a bit allowing you to squeeze your way up 

“Yeah no problem”

Taking the first few steps up, making sure not the disturb the two, you debated neither sprinting up or just quietly walking. Of course all plans were thrown out the window when another, raspier voice asked “why’re you out so late? “

Your foot stopped almost immediately.

What?

You gulped thickly. “ oh, no reason, i just had cram school and lost track of the time ya’ know?” No of course they don't know because they obviously don't go to your cram school !

Almost as if he had an epiphany, the longer haired boy shot up like a rocket as he turned to fully face you.

“ wait a minute- that means you're smart right?”

“Baji no-” “ hey you mind helping us with our midterms? I don't wanna fail them and make my mom cry again, wouldn't be right”

“Oi baji! Who said I needed help? I'm the one who's tutoring you!” the blondie argued back, voices echoing up around and through the staircase as you finally looked at the two of them.

chifuyu , who you now recognize as a delinquent and baji… who you've never seen in your life both apparently went to your school as you faintly recalled a morning announcement of both their names being called and summoned to the principal's office.

As well as the rumors that surrounded them both as you remembered the whispers upon whispers of gossip dripping from your friends mouth like sugar coated honey, too tempting not to take a bite out of.

All in all, they were trouble.

“Uh haha yeah, I'm sorry. I don't think I'll be of any use to you since I'm not the brightest of people, I'm sorry I have to go, have a good night though.”

And like cinderella you dashed off up stairs. Not even bothering to look back or hide your footsteps as you heard baji call and complain for you to come back and how chifuyu ruined his chances of passing his terms.

but of course, you were back downstairs… not exactly downstairs as you were on one of the landings that separated the floors, the soft fluff of sabers tail wagging excitedly as you held onto his blue, rope leash as you stared down the stairs wondering why exactly the two of them were  still. here.

You groaned internally as you took a step back, pulling lightly on his leash as you went to go back down the hall and into the safety of your apartment. Already thinking of excuses to tell your mom why you didn't take your baby for his daily walk.

Plop

…. 

You tugged on the leash a little harder, only to no avail as your lab stared up at you with a little smile..

This son of a bitch.

“C'mon saber lets go, I promise I'll take you on two walks tomorrow, so please let's just go” you whined, crouching down next to him as you went to softly push at his side. 

But like the anchor he is, he didn't budge.

“Please saber c’mon i wanna go home now lets go you fat little man” you moaned as you stole a glance towards the stairs, hoping to god you didn't alert the two.

But alas, you were met with a pair of blue and golden eyes staring at you curiously. Though the curiosity in their eyes didn’t overshadow the way they loomed over you and you little man, both of them blocking any whisper of light that tried to escape through as it haloed blindingly around them.

‘ oh it’s you- i didn't know you had a dog” baji said as a smile grew on his face as he slowly knelt down as your dog’s tail quickly went to whipping your side as you just gawked at him.

“Oi baji, you have to ask to pet him, er her. ``Chifuyu went to look at you, eyebrows raised as his friend simply ignored him and continued caressing your dog.

“do they bite?” was the only response you got from the black haired boy, his eyes meeting yours briefly as his smile stood pride on his beaming face.

“I do well, I guess it's fine. Don't worry about it, Saber, he’s really friendly and loves people, so he won't bite '' you spoke as chifuyu hesitantly went to start touching his golden fur, the dim midnight lighting doing him zero justice.

Though when you were nestled in your bed with your big ol’ security guard crushing your feet to the point where they'd both turn shades of blue and purples, you could really see how vibrant and golden his fur really was.

Smiling softly as the saber excitedly sniffed baji’s hand as the latter held a smile as big as the sun and eyes creased like a young boy who just got his favorite candy.

you noted how his other hand was scratching exactly where you knew your dog was ticklish, his leg going to scratch the same spot as he let out a low chuckle.

Quietly looking at chifuyu, you saw him quite engrossed in what baji was doing as he stared at where your dog was battling baji’s hand for scratching rights.

“ You really love him, yeah?”

“Hm? Pardon?”

“You’re dog…” “Saber”

“Yep. i can see it all over your face and his body that you spoil him like a little rich kid”

You laughed at his little comment as you went to play with his floppy ears “yep/ he’s my little spoiled brat who loves food and cuddles and will absolutely die if you don't take him on a walk or two during that day”

“ sorry about earlier, baji is just very… passionate about his grades” “ oh is that so?”

“ yeah, that and he doesn't want his mom to be upset about him being held back… again” With a light squeeze to the saber's ear, you took a risk as you opened your mouth.

“Oh, so he's a mama’s boy then?” “Exactly” “Hey I'm not! “

You and Chifuyu looked at each other and hummed in agreement.

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