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depravitycentral · 9 months

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Yandere! Kyojuro Rengoku General Profile

Yandere! Kyojuro Rengoku x fem! reader

Tw: kidnapping, stalking, violence, he breaks your fingers, Kyo feeds you bird-style and it's pretty gross and gnarly, delusions/detachment from reality, Stockholm Syndrome, masturbation, slight misogyny/traditional gender roles, forced motherhood, allusions to non-con, you and Kyo share a toothbrush ugh, lots of references to death, fem reader, MDNI

I do not condone any of the actions described in this post - this is fiction and should be treated as such. If you or a loved one is in a similar situation to anything contained in this post or my blog in general, please seek help. You're in charge of your internet consumption; please make responsible choices. With that, enjoy!

WC: 11K

DARLING PROFILE:

Caring

Similarly to most other Hashira, Kyojuro is greatly attracted to honest, genuine kindness.

His world is so full of hatred, death, and pain, and having a darling who is softer, sweeter, more empathetic makes his heart swell.

(And, occasionally, other things will swell when he sees his darling smiling or complimenting or speaking with children - but Kyojuro pays it no mind. So you shouldn’t, either.)

There’s just something so alluring about a darling who genuinely cares for the people around them - he himself is quite positive, if not blunt, and a darling who can match his philosophy of protecting and caring for those who need it would be a perfect match.

He likes the idea of a darling who has the best intentions of others’ at heart; it’s refreshing to see and interact with someone who is so pure and wonderfully kind, because while his fellow slayers are certainly committed to a good cause, his darling is different.

They’re naturally sweet, utterly unaware of the horrors of this world and yet still striving to make others smile, still trying to help undo any wrongs those around them have experienced.

This aspect of his darling is one of the first things he notices about them, and while he’s not a selfish man by any means, he’ll grow to absolutely love when this caring nature is directed at him, particular after long, difficult missions where he’s both physically and emotionally exhausted, only desiring to hold something soft and sweet and warm.

Coincidentally, something exactly like his darling.

Passionate

The specific passion itself is inconsequential – it doesn’t matter what his darling loves, as long as they love something.

He himself is driven by internal motivation and a righteousness to help others, and while his darling doesn’t need to be quite this serious, he likes the idea of them having goals and aspirations.

The most likely way this manifests itself within his darling is through a creative platform – art, music, culinary arts, writing, or any sort of activity in which his darling can express themselves.

He likes that his darling has something they truly enjoy, and he’s the type to want to learn about and indulge in his darling’s passion.

He’ll eagerly listen to everything they have to say, absorbing the information with wide, glittering eyes and a smile, trying so very hard to listen to their words but getting repeatedly distracted by how utterly adorable they look when they’re concentrating.

He can’t stop admiring the way they look when they’re discussing their passion, how happy they become, radiating a sort of joy and glow that only makes him fall harder and deeper, his obsession solidifying with every smile they give him.

And he’ll fully foster this passion of theirs – he’s got access to any resources his darling can dream of, easily providing them and enjoying the way their face lights up, how they become so grateful.

His only caveat is that he has to watch them as they work at their passion, getting a front row seat to watch them enjoy themselves, his bright eyes fixed on them the entire time because god, how are they so utterly perfect?

It’s endearing to Kyojuro because in his mind, his darling looks at him that way, too, with a smile and undying love.

Ambitious

Now, his darling doesn’t need to be ambitious in the sense that they take huge risks, or even that they have high expectations and goals for themselves.

It can manifest this way, sure, but the main core of why he finds this personality trait attractive is because it shows drive.

He likes a darling who has a strong sense of self; he doesn’t want to change his beloved in any way; he wants to be their pillar of support, to offer unwavering help and encouragement for whatever pursuits they’re chasing after, no matter how big or small.

He thinks it’s a wonderful thing to have dreams for the future, just as he does – he dreams of Senjuro once again having a happy family (one he hopes his darling will help provide), and of all demons being eradicated so that the world can live peacefully.

He’ll cherish and respect any dreams his darling possesses, but only if they don’t interfere with what he believes should happen.

He prioritizes his relationship with his darling above many things, and this includes what his darling wants most.

He will be expecting them to dutifully become his loving partner and wife, to bear his children and help him raise them, to be a guiding, loving hand to teach them morality, charity, and all sorts of other things that his darling hardly believes he possesses.

So while he’ll likely crush the ambitions his darling possesses, the mere fact that they have ambitions is attractive to him.

Talkative

It’s not that Kyojuro can’t fall for a quieter darling, but rather that he wants someone who will match his chattiness.

He’s naturally quite loud, truly a boisterous man who loves to interact with others.

He’s constantly peppering his darling with questions, his voice a steady flow as he just talks and talks and talks, throwing compliments and them alongside grandiose declarations of love, all intermixed with small talk about the weather or the flowers on the sides of the village pathways, or even about the pretty birds flying in the sky.

He just likes interacting with his darling, and he needs someone that is willing to return his eagerness to talk.

He likes the way his darling’s attention stays on him when he’s speaking to them; how their eyes stay fixed on his form, how they nod along to his words, how they laugh at his outlandish, unbelievable claims and logic, how they just simply acknowledge him, making him feel comfortable and seen and wanted.

Kyojuro will want to spend hours talking with his darling, and he needs someone who can match this energy. He needs a darling who can pepper him with their own questions, who can keep the conversation flowing and keep the interaction alive.

Besides, Kyojuro has this unwavering, unsatiable curiosity for his beloved, one that can only be partially quelled when his darling is revealing more and more about themselves.

And he’ll eagerly listen, mentally storing away each new piece of information, remembering absolutely everything because everything about his darling is important, something that must be remembered and cherished and worshipped.

They’re just perfect, and if they’re naturally chatty, it only furthers his obsession.

GENERAL YANDERE TRAITS:

Delusional

Generally speaking, from the moment that Kyojuro’s feelings for you fully form, he’s absolutely, utterly under the impression that every emotion, desire and draw he feels towards you is returned fully. He honestly believes that you’re just as in love as he is, that the connection he’s so acutely aware of between the both of you is mutual, that you’re just as desperate and eager to be his partner, his lover, his wife and the woman he’ll spend the rest of his life with.

He doesn’t have any real romantic experience - he’s been attracted to women before, sure, but he’s never courted someone before you simply because when he courts, he intends to wed.

And as a result, his only real reference for romance is his own parents’ relationship. And while it was loving, beautiful, healthy while his mother was still alive, time and his changing father have left Kyojuro with a bit of a warped view of love.

And this is where his delusions stem from - he’s confident, desperate for you to return the passionate feelings he holds for you, and he manages to convince himself of your growing love for him every day.

He’s so sure, in fact, that even as his obsession with you forms (slowly, as he’s a bit picky about partners and can be a bit oblivious even towards his own feelings), so do the beginnings of his detachment from reality. As he slowly begins realizing that he enjoys being in your presence more than most other people, your smiles and greetings of oh hello Rengoku, I didn’t know you’d be here will seem more and more like you expressing your glee at having him by your side rather than a simple, platonic welcome.

As he realizes that hearing you laugh makes his palms sweat and his heart race, he begins thinking your laugh is really for him, that your chuckles are stronger when they’re directed at him than compared to others.

He’s imagining your pretty face lighting up with that radiant smile behind closed eyes when he’s falling asleep at night, and slowly he begins concluding that your every quirk of the lip towards him must mean that you’re happy with him, that his presence alone fills you with a sort of joy that you simply can’t hide.

(And, perhaps you know that it’s you that fills his thoughts at night – maybe you’re purposefully plaguing his thoughts, trying to tell him something - perhaps you want him to think of you and your lovely mouth, the way your lips look when you say his name, how your tongue flicks out to wet them just so…)

It’s mostly innocent in the beginning; his delusions manifest more as simply misreading the signals you send him, honest mistakes that aren’t too uncommon – but, as the relationship (or, at least the one Kyojuro is trying so very hard cultivate) progresses, these slips in judgment become more and more profound, more and more difficult to ignore.

When he’s wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you into his chest as he inhales deeply and enthusiastically greets you in a voice just a bit too breathy for your liking, Kyojuro sees your discreet attempts at ending the far-too-long hug as you merely trying to get comfortable.

Surely you just want to feel more of his body against your own, or want him to be closer so that there’s nothing separating you from him, from the love he’s oh so willing to give you.

When you bite your lip and avert your gaze as you politely ask him to stop staring at you so much and following you home, Kyojuro will simply smile, placing a hand on your shoulder and giving you a firm don’t worry, I don’t mind protecting you! It’s my place as a Hashira, after all, so don’t needlessly fret!

He honestly doesn’t understand why you’re not as happy as he is, and frankly he can’t even really fathom the idea that you aren’t happy – how can he, when he’s been searching for so many years for a partner to love and spoil?

How can he, when your body just seems to perfectly fit against his own, your voice like honey and your name a drug as it slips from his lips?

How can he, when he’s seen his father so harshly decline, when the memory of his mother is still so fresh, when he wants so badly to build a family of his own, to give Senjuro another family to call his?

How can he, when you become the sole reason he begins valuing his own life during missions, not being as reckless because he needs to come home to you - you need your lover and husband, of course.

(In more ways than one - who will protect you? Provide for you? Pleasure you?)

Kyojuro honestly latches onto you, his every thought and emotion revolving around you you you, to the point where even once he’s locked you away, deep inside the Rengoku residence with your shared bed and lovely, expensive new kimonos neatly folded in stacks upon stacks (all in shades of reds and golds, of course, to signify your status with him), he still won’t recognize that you’re always crying because you’re scared.

He won’t realizethat you flinch when he touches you because you don’t want him anywhere near you.

He won’t connect the dots that you spend each and every night curled up in a ball weeping because you just want to go home, please Kyojuro, please…

Try as he may, he just can’t fathom that you aren’t as madly, desperately in love – so don’t bother, really, because it’s much more hassle than it’s worth, and in the end he’ll get what he wants. He always will get what he wants, so why don’t you just give in?

He’ll never let you go, never believe any of your pleas to be freed from him, so why don’t you just accept his love?

Protective

Honestly, your personal combat abilities are irrelevant - in Kyojuro’s mind, you’re weak. Defenseless. Laughably unable to keep yourself safe and out of trouble - incapable, even, though it sounds a bit harsh.

He believes that you’re too fragile and sweet and wonderful to be anywhere near a demon, a human with bad intentions, or anything of the sort.

Your strengths lie not in battle, but in your charm and beauty - you’re so sweet, your words melting him like butter and leaving him as putty in your hands, his heart doing backflips in his chest as his fingers twitch to do anything and everything just to keep you smiling.

Your talents lie in the way you effortlessly intrigue him; your words ensnaring his attention no matter the topic, your touch sending electricity up his spine, even your most mundane actions making him stop and stare because every little thing you do is important.

You simply aren’t made for the battlefield, or for confrontation in general - he’s sure of it, and he’s arguably the most trustworthy source of judgment you could find. He’s a seasoned Hashira, seen more death than you can imagine, slaughtered more demons than you can count, so could he really be wrong in his assessment of your abilities?

He sees you as a bit of a baby, in all honesty, because while he’s more than aware of your womanly charms (the not so subtle way his eyes rake over your figure when he forces you to bathe with him is enough to convince you of that, if the way his hands ghost over the bulge of his trousers when you speak to him wasn’t enough), he still can’t shake the paranoia that you’ll one day be hurt.

He’s terrified that you can’t really take care of yourself as well as he can. And frankly, the paranoia isn’t unfounded – it’s difficult to fault him for his overprotectiveness when you think of his past, how often he sees death, and how often he’s the cause of it.

He’s too accustomed to seeing others’ lives lost, and he absolutely refuses to allow you the same fate, so long as he’s breathing and has enough finger strength to grip his sword and send air rushing through his lungs.

He’s determined to a disturbing degree to keep you safe; with every demon he decapitates, internally he’s sighing in relief because that’s one less monster that could potentially sink their claws into you - every demon dead is a step towards keeping you safe, healthy, alive, his.

He’s patronizing in an odd way, because while he doubts your capabilities, he doesn’t treat you like you’re a child. He’s just hovering, always, with his eyes glued to you and that same unnerving, wide smile on his lips that never seems to go away when you’re around him.

His gaze is wide and excited as he sees how you bring the bowl of soup to your lips to sip, the intensity of the way he watches making your hands tremble and a bit of the hot soup spill down to your chest.

He’ll let you feed yourself - for now - but as soon as you flinch, the heat and wetness making you cringe as you get up to clean yourself, he’s on you – a flash of yellow and red as he tut-tuts and uses the sleeve of his haori to wipe up the mess, a thumb against your lip and his face much too close to yours as he tells you to be careful, don’t hurt yourself, my flame.

He’s not letting you touch anything with sharp edges, for fear that you’ll trip and cut yourself, nor does he allow you permission to speak to anyone new that he hasn’t already extensively vetted in his own way.

(This comprises mostly of just simply observing someone, and the moment he sees something even slightly unfavorable - like a snarky comment or even having their hair be messy - he’s deciding that they’re not good enough to interact with you - you’re better than them, and speaking with them would only taint you, bringing you down from the pedestal he places you on.)

He’s controlling, not allowing anyone into your life that isn’t himself, to the point that he’ll simply show up the second another man or woman begins speaking with you, a strong arm around your waist with fingers digging in much harsher than they should, that familiar smile tight on his lips.

He’s terrified that he’ll one day lose you, and in a lot of ways keeping you safe is his own way of living up to the expectations of his mother.

You’re weak, so damn weak, and you need someone to care for you, to be there for you and take care of you in your time of need, and Kyojuro is more than happy to take on the role, to take responsibility of your life and safety.

It’s a bit overwhelming, how he’s always offering to do tasks for you, interrupting you halfway through to take over with that broad grin of his, that laugh and a rambunctious what kind of lover would I be if I didn’t carry your groceries for you making it difficult to stop him.

And really, eventually you’ll get to the point of relenting and letting him to do as he pleases, because as much as the man may intimidate you, scare you or disturb you, there’s just something about his desperation to please you that’ll get you feeling oddly flattered, flustered simply because of the lengths he’s willing to go.

Because really, while it may scare you how his hand always seems to find a place at your hip, don’t all the stories and movies have chivalrous male leads helping guide the girl through crowded areas, a steady hand to help keep them grounded, just as Kyojuro does?

Sure, it’s weird how he knows the order from every restaurant in town that you like, how he’s always able to show up at just the right time with a steaming bowl of udon or whatever you’re feeling, but doesn’t it feel nice to be cared for, that he thought of you and made the stop to buy you something?

It may be disturbing how he gulps and smiles wider every time he sees you bend over, but isn’t it flattering to know that he finds your body attractive?

He won’t allow you to place a finger on anything or anyone that could hurt you, so you’d better get used to the life of a pampered housewife – because while it will take him a long while to allow you to cook with any sort of heat, there’s something oddly therapeutic about being your big, strong partner that provides for you, while you keep his bed and heart warm, all with that natural charm he finds so alluring.

Clingy

Because Kyojuro’s perceptions of your relationship aren’t exactly realistic, he’ll come off as extremely, extremely needy to you. But it’s in a strange way – he’s not constantly clinging onto you, needing your reassurance and needing your eyes to stay focused entirely on him.

(He certainly won’t discourage this kind of behavior, of course, but he isn’t that outwardly desperate, and he isn’t the type to physically grasp your chin to keep you looking at him. He’ll perhaps grasp your hand or your waist to keep you at his hip, but he’s not quite that blatant.)

Instead, his clinginess manifests in how he’s simply always around you.

His presence will become a constant in your life – you’d be hard pressed to not see those familiar blond and red locks in your peripheral, or to hear that booming voice ringing in your ears. It would be difficult to find yourself in a public situation where Kyojuro isn’t standing diligently at your side, that blinding smile spread across his face, turning just a bit softer and a bit more earnest when it’s aimed at you.

Really, he simply hates being away from you. Not having you within his sight makes him nervous, anxiety itching at his stomach because where are you?

It’s not possessiveness, not a paranoia that you could be talking to other men, but rather an honest, genuine, horrible fear that you could be hurt, that someone could’ve taken you and injured you and touched you and possibly even have killed you.

And frankly, the fear isn’t too unfounded – you’ll understand why he's always rushing to you, literally running to catch up with you when you wander away from him, a steady hand pressing into your back as he pulls you into a hug, the faint smell of woodsmoke and musk filling your nose as the hard planes of his chest press against you.

It’s understandable, so you won’t really wonder why he’s always insisting on accompanying you every free moment he has, his presence acting as your shadow but much, much louder. It might make you uncomfortable, sure, because having someone always by your side is a little disorienting and overwhelming at times, but you’ll tolerate it – how can you tell Kyojuro no, anyway?

He’s so radiant when he’s giving you that smile, his eyes sparkling and his hands soft and gentle as he grasps onto yours, telling you that he’s so excited, we must try the new ramen shop down the street! I’ll order your favorite, you needn’t remind me what it is! I think we should share one, and perhaps a second or third…

(It’s probably not worth mentioning to him that you never even told him what your favorite is, he just seemed to know it, a fact that initially unnerved you, but you’ve found that guessing what you’ll like seems to be a talent of his. It’s not, of course, because he’s spent hours talking with any family members or friends of yours to learn every possible scrap of information about you that he can, introducing himself as your fiancé and charming them enough to get even the most sensitive secrets out of them, including your menstrual patterns, your bathing routine, even your temperament as a child because he’s convinced it will give him insight into the temperaments of your future – and inevitable – children together.)

You’ll disregard his penchant for always staying by your side in the beginning, but as time progresses it’ll become more difficult to let his behavior roll off your back.

Accompanying you to the market is fine, but you’ll bite your lip and find the courage to speak up when he ends up straying a good five feet behind you, his bright eyes burning holes into the back of your head as he keeps pace with you.

(When you turn around to ask him why he’s not walking with you, but rather trailing behind you like some sort of stalker, he’ll just laugh and tell you in that familiar, boisterous voice that he can protect you better this way! Besides, the view from this angle is excellent! Dissecting that last comment will only make you more uncomfortable, so you simply nod and keep walking, picking up your pace and desperately wishes you’d be arriving sooner.)

Him wanting to meet all your friends and acquaintances is fine, but when he’s pushing his way into the conversation and snaking an arm around your waist, you’ll feel just as awkward as your companions, disturbed by the casual manner with which Kyojuro handles you.

(This almost always leads to the assumption that the two of you are together, which you’ll frantically shake your head to, spouting some nonsense about being just friends that makes Kyojuro’s brows cock inwards, sending a glance at you with quizzical eyes. Just friends? You are certainly friends, but you’re more than that – friends don’t daydream about each other, and friends certainly don’t spend nights with ragged breaths, bucking hips, and the other’s name slipping from their lips like a prayer.)

He’s just a lot, and while you knew this from the beginning, time will only increase his behavior, pushing him more and more into spending time with you, into writing you letters while he’s away on a mission (they’re mostly detailing how much he misses you, telling you of each object and person that reminded him of you, and while it would be sweet, the sheer volume and frequency of these letters will make you loathed to open them), even into pushing past your boundaries and being much, much too familiar with you.

(You’ll bid him goodnight after he’s walked you home from the meal he insisted you share, but he doesn’t seem to get the hint and instead waltzes straight into your modest home, settling himself at your tableside and beaming at you, telling you to join me, my flame, I wish to hear about your deepest desires! He won’t insist on staying the night, as that would be too inappropriate for a not yet married couple – which he seems to be insinuating the two of you are – and will eventually take his leave, but not before gently grabbing your hand and pressing a kiss against your knuckles that’s much, much too wet, and far too long.)

His clinginess can be suffocating, of course, but once you’re stuck with him, forced to live in the Rengoku estate and call him your husband?

Well, if you thought he was needy before, it’s nothing compared to the way he treats you then – constantly wandering hands (concentrated mostly at your waist, hips, and squeezing your thighs), compliments that toe the line between heartfelt and disturbing (you are so very beautiful, particularly when you’re asleep – did you know that you smell a certain way when you’re unconscious? It’s sweet, like ripe fruit; I wish to smell it at all times), and those eyes always, always focused on you.

Every free moment he has goes into attending to you, whether you want it or not, so don’t even bother trying to get some distance from the Flame Pillar.

He will invade your space and he will not be regretful, his delusions most often barring him from even realizing that you’re uncomfortable.

He’s simply a man who ardently admires and desires you, and at the end of the day, you can’t even really blame him. Because, as they say, love makes one do crazy things, and he’s certainly, certainly in love with you.

DEALING WITH RIVALS:

When it comes to jealousy, Kyojuro is surprisingly relatively unaffected, all things considered.

He’s not someone who’s biting at your heels the moment another man spares you a glance, and while he obviously doesn’t like the way other men interact with you, he’s not nearly as suffocating regarding his possessiveness as some of his fellow Hashira.

He tends to give others the benefit of the doubt, and while he’s still very protective over you and would immediately step in if another man posed a threat to your safety or comfort, he doesn’t automatically assume that any man who interacts with you has nefarious intent.

And so, he doesn’t immediately grow jealous and snarl at any man stupid enough to come within a few feet of you – he’s not as depraved, at least in that sense.

(In others, absolutely, but if Kyojuro has one redeeming quality, it’s his judgement of character.)

However, this isn’t because of some moral high ground the Pillar possesses, or a firm sense of lucidity – in fact, it’s quite the opposite, as his delusions drive most of his indifference regarding other men giving you attention.

He’s so, so confident in the idea that you’re meant for one another that he honestly doesn’t even register that you could interested in another man, that you could be stolen away from him willingly, that you could fall in love with anyone but the Flame Hashira himself.

He just doesn’t get it, and so he isn’t as suffocating as he could be in these situations – no, not by a long shot, something you’re admittedly equal parts lucky and unlucky for.

Because really, while you won’t have to deal with the isolation that comes with extreme levels of possessiveness, being Kyojuro’s darling is certainly not an easy ride – how can it be, when he’s so blatantly unaware of the signs in front of him that a man is coming on to you, that he’s smiling and flirting with you and reaching out to brush the hair away from your eyes while you bashfully grin and laugh at his lame jokes?

How can you not be unsettled with the way he’s so unaffected, always spouting nonsense about how in love you two are, how perfect of a match you are, how no man would ever dare take you away from me – how could anyone break such a real bond of love?

It’s disturbing, and as time passes slowly you’ll come to realize that while he won’t drag you kicking and screaming away from another man trying to get more than familiar with you, the alternative of watching him broadcast what he perceives to be your ‘relationship’ to every stranger who makes eye contact with you will get old very quickly, the feeling of him almost trying to show you off making your skin crawl and a cold sweat break out over your hairline.

Kyojuro isn’t subtle, not in the least, which is why the minute another man approaches you, you should be ready – the embarrassment will be thick, as will the discomfort of everyone involved (except the Hashira himself, of course).

So you might as well stop trying to converse with other people – after all, Kyojuro has no problem acting on his intuition, so won’t you just not give him a reason to be so extravagant?

The moment the man in the small market stall shoots you a shy smile and approaches you, there’s already a sinking feeling settling in your gut, the knowledge that your self-proclaimed ‘lover’ is only a few stalls down making you bite your lip in anxiety.

He’s polite, by all accounts – full lips a pleasant pink color ask you about your opinion on the newest shipment of melons, the fruit laid out in front of you in a pleasing display. There’s a respectful distance of a few feet between your bodies, and his voice is soft, calming, the complete opposite of the boisterous, loud slayer you’ve come to be so close with. It’s refreshing, and you shoot him a smile as well as you point to a certain melon on the display.

This one looks ripe – you can tell, you know, by the markings on the fruit. The more yellow spots, the better the texture will be.

The man’s still looking at you, but his gaze shifts to the fruit as he nods in agreement. He laughs a bit, then reaches out to pick up the melon. I’ll trust your advice, then.

The interaction is somewhat short, sweet and innocent, and though you get the feeling that the man finds you attractive (the light blush on his cheeks tells you as much), you don’t feel particularly uncomfortable.

But all too soon the peace of the moment is ending, and a familiar call of your name has your spine stiffening, your throat bobbing as you heavily swallow. The call comes again, and all too soon there’s an unfortunately familiar hand settling on your waist, Kyojuro’s muscular arm wrapping around your body and pulling you flush against his side.

Being so close in public would normally embarrass you, but you can’t find it in yourself to care when you know what’s coming.

My flame, who is this? A friend of yours? Kyojuro asks, and before you can open your mouth to answer, the stranger does.

Oh, um, I’m Takeru.

He’s visibly uncomfortable, and as you try to subtly squirm out of the slayer’s grasp, Kyojuro’s smile only widens.

He nods his head lightly, his smile growing even brighter. A pleasure to meet you, Takeru! I am Kyojuro Rengoku, thank you for helping keep her safe at this busy market place!

The man – Takeru – shifts awkwardly, unsure how to respond to such a strange comment, but it doesn’t seem to stop your unwanted companion.

You see, she has such a habit of wandering away in crowded places, and it makes it hard to keep an eye on her! You’d be amazed at how often I’ve seen her trip and fall in places like these!

He laughs at that, and you feel a new kind of embarrassment eat away at you. Does he really need to be sharing all this information?

Yes, it’s very crowded, Takeru agrees, and you silently send him a pleading look. He blinks at you, discomfort clearly swimming in the black depths of his dark eyes, and internally you beg Kyojuro to just drag you both away from the stranger.

She can be so forgetful, but that’s the wonderful thing about love! Despite her clumsiness, she is still graceful and elegant to me, and that’s a sign of true love, wouldn’t you agree?

Takeru nods, hesitantly, and you grit your teeth.

Kyojuro sighs dreamily from beside you, squeezing you even tighter against his side. And I do love her, of course! She is my soulmate, the future mother of my children, and every time I gaze at her, my devotion only grows deeper!

You’re visibly embarrassed now, trying to cover your face and desperately willing the interaction to just be over, but Kyojuro doesn’t seem to hear your silent prayers.

He grabs your wrist gently, his lips pressing kisses against the inside of your wrist, and immediately you’re eyes grow wide. Surely he wouldn’t, not in a public setting –

He cuts your thoughts off with a press of his lips against yours, the groan that he releases against you making you shiver in anything but pleasure. Your eyes are still open, and you see Takeru staring with a dropped jaw, evidently shocked at Kyojuro’s blatant display of affection.

Your brows furrow, and as he slips his tongue past your lips, you find yourself only able to focus on the way Kyojuro is growing louder, his groans getting more pronounced as the kiss grows hungrier, more desperate, feeling less like a tender, heartfelt sign of love.

After a good two minutes he finally pulls away, your lips feeling sticky and wet from his saliva. He stares down at you with heady eyes, his tongue licking his lips as he whispers your name under his breath.

You go to say his name, to ask him if you can just leave the market, but he cuts you off with a laugh.

Oh my flame, where did Takeru go? We must have scared him off with our display of passion! My sincere hopes that he’ll one day find a love like ours.

You very much don’t wish that, but as Kyojuro grasps your hand and guides you to the edge of the market place, passing through the spot Takeru had departed from during your sudden and overtly steamy kiss, you’ll find yourself sighing.

The blatant act of romance was unwarranted and unwanted, of course, but somehow your lips are tingling, your heart racing in shamefulness and something else – something that grows stronger and Kyojuro turns to look back at you, a grin stretching across his lips, his cheeks tinted pink as he gazes at you.

It’s wrong and you’ll hate it, every part of you screaming to not be fooled by the boyish look he’s giving you; he’s a slayer, a grown man who very clearly doesn’t understand that you are not future spouses, that you are not in love.

You’ll hate yourself for it, but even as he leads you back to your home, guiding you and not letting your hand go the whole way (even though you you’re very familiar with the route and don’t need his navigational help), you’ll find yourself almost, almost wishing he’d kiss you again – just not in front of a stranger this time.

TAKING HIS DARLING AWAY:

Because he’s on the more delusional side, Kyojuro’s view of your relationship is warped.

He’s already eager in the context of romantic relationships, but in yours, specifically, he’s rushing through all the steps, too excited to get that gold ring on your finger and his last name replacing yours to really take his time with you.

And this becomes problematic particularly because you will have no idea, at least at first, that the Flame Hashira believes you’re courting one another, that it’s simply a matter of time before you’re keeping his bed warm and nursing his children.

And because of this quick timeline of your relationship, Kyojuro is actually quite quick to propose living together. Of course, it’s a bit taboo to be living under the same roof before you’re wed, but he’s willing to bend the traditional rules a bit if you put up any sort of opposition.

If you decline his blatant requests to live with him, he won’t relent. Initially, he’ll bluntly ask you in the middle of a shared meal if you’d like to move your belongings into the Rengoku mansion - I can have a few servants come to assist in the moving process, if you’d like, and of course I’ll be there to help carry anything heavy!

When you stare at him like he’s grown two heads, he’ll be a little confused, and curiously asks you why you seem to be shocked.

When you honestly respond, at a loss as to why he’s asking you to live with him when you’re very, very firmly just friends, Kyojuro will only laugh in response, his hand coming down to slap his knee because oh, you’re so funny, you sweet, coy little thing.

He’ll drop the subject that day, moving on to ask you about your thoughts about the weather or your favorite color or anything at all, greedy to hear your voice and bask in your attention.

But the next day, when he suddenly pops out of nowhere and accompanies you on your walk into town to buy a few necessities, the question is prompted once more.

I only have two separate futons, but I’m sure we could push them together! Similarly, I only have two blankets, but I’m sure my body heat will keep you warm!

You’ll be confused, giving yourself just a hair more distance between your bodies (he’d gotten very close without you noticing), throwing him a glance and worryingly asking what are you talking about?

He’s so nonchalant when he answers our sleeping arrangements, of course that it makes you wonder if you’ve missed something, if you’re somehow not in the loop because when the fuck did you agree to sleep in the same room as him, much less in such a position where you could feel his body heat?

You’ll negate his questions and try to change the topic once more, but Kyojuro is relentless - everyday there will be a new question of when you’ll inevitably be living together, and with every day he gets more and more restless to finally have you in his arms as he sleeps, to come home to you after long missions, to relish in the sight of you peacefully reading or crafting in the morning sun, wearing his clothing and smelling like him.

He’s a patient man, yes, but even Kyojuro has his limits - and he finally reaches this limit when one day he can’t seem to find you anywhere.

It’s like you’ve disappeared off the face of the Earth - he’d wanted to spend some time with you (really, he’d just finished his allotted training for the day and had been idly daydreaming about holding your hand the whole time, and was now in desperate need of finding you to intertwine your fingers with his), but your home was empty and none of your neighbors seemed to remember seeing you leave.

Immediately worry is eating away at him, because his sole job as your future lover and husband is to keep tabs on you and protect you, and he’d been too busy focusing on himself and getting stronger to fulfill his duty.

He searches for you in all the common spots he knows you visit, and with each empty location his desperation gets a bit more extreme, his panic slowly engulfing him because where the fuck could you be?

Eventually he’s sprinting around the general area you reside in, running mile after mile as his smile slips away and his entire body grows sweaty, his heart racing and even a few tears threatening to well in his eyes because he can’t stomach the thought that you’ve been hurt somehow, that someone has stolen you, that you’re simply gone.

It’s not until the evening that he eventually stumbles upon you, your pretty kimono stained with a bit of dirt as the bottom hem and your shoulders a bit slumped from the heavy bag slung over them, your limbs aching from the long journey it’d taken to visit a friend a few villages over.

He happens to run by you along the path, and immediately he’s stopping and staring, his chest visibly heaving, his eyes wide and vulnerable as he blinks, pinching himself to make sure this is real, that you’re really standing in front of him, that you haven’t been devoured like he’d been imagining.

But all too soon he’s rushing forward, the wind knocked out of your lungs as he tackles you to the ground, clutching you against his chest as he bombards you with questions, slurred and rushed as he asks if you’re okay, are you hurt? Where were you? Why didn’t you tell me you’d be gone today? Did you speak to anyone? Did anyone touch you? Were you scared without me?

He’s speaking so quickly and loudly into your ear that you can’t even get a response in, his voice slightly uneven and betraying the influx of emotion swimming through his chest. He’ll pull back to gaze at you, thumbs brushing over your cheek, before smiling softly and pressing a soft, long kiss to your forehead, whispering to you that you’ll be safe now, my love, forever.

Then it all goes black, and you wake up dressed in a much too nice kimono, sleeping in an ornate room in a futon you don’t recognize, familiar eyes trained on your form as his seated figure watches you slowly wake up beside him.

As a captor, Kyojuro is mostly just suffocating.

Because he still heavily believes in the delusions he’s been nursing since the beginning of his infatuation with you, he doesn’t see anything wrong with what he’s done. He doesn’t see his relocation of you as kidnapping, nor does he understand why you seem so unhappy to be with him.

It was inevitable that you’d be sharing the same home and bed, didn’t you know?

Why do you seem so surprised when he wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you flush against his body, spooning you and sighing your name into your ear with just a bit too much reverence?

Why are you flinching away from him when he pulls you close for a kiss, his calloused fingers gently grasping your chin as he whispers between wet, loud kisses that he loves you, that he’s more in love with you than you could possibly imagine, my flame, you are my light in eternal darkness.

He’s sappy and too much and always hovering around you, his presence smothering you in every sense of the word. He’s clingy and needy, always wanting to be watching you and simply observe you, because even though he now spends nearly every hour of every day he has off in your presence, everything you do is still special to him, interesting and wonderful and important, and he has no sense of boundaries.

He will be standing close to you, practically breathing down your neck. He will ask you all sorts of personal questions, ranging from things like your greatest fears and most embarrassing moments to your menstrual cycle and which spots feel best when you’re touching yourself to the thought of him.

(He assumes you must pleasure yourself while thinking of him, because he does, too, religiously, every night, your pretty face and voice and body at the forefront of his thoughts as he paints his fist white over and over and over.)

He doesn’t see any reason why there should be any sort of barriers between the two of you, because you’re soulmates - made for one another, destined to spend your lives together, your fates irrefutably intertwined and brought together by the unyielding, passionate love you possess for one another.

And, unfortunately, this lack of barriers manifests itself in some pretty undesirable ways - you’ll be sharing one singular toothbrush, for example, Kyojuro insisting that it’s romantic and sweet and becoming of a young couple to share everything with one another, even their saliva.

He’s having the two of you share undergarments; they’re all made of soft, smooth cloth, in a variety of neutral colors that he’ll wear for the day, then shuffle up your legs the next day, smiling and licking his lips because the fabric that spent all day pressed up against him is now pressed up against you.

(And, on days where you’re particularly unlucky, sometimes Kyojuro lets his thoughts run a bit wild once he’s wearing them, his eyes fluttering closed as he imagines you and subtly ruts against his palm as he waits for nightfall in the small village his next mission is in, the time passing slowly until he’s gasping your name and staining the undergarment with wet warmth, already giddy and excited to have you wear them tomorrow, unwashed.)

He’ll even sometimes share food - and not in a sweet, romantic way, but rather in a raw, connected way; he’ll take a bit of food and chew it, then press his lips against yours and push it into your mouth, encouraging you to chew as well, before eventually kissing you once more and swallowing it all himself, his grin nearly blinding because now he’s eaten both the meal and you, or at least a bit of your spit.

He’s just weird, and while he’s constantly showering you in compliments and spoiling you with anything and everything under the sun, it’ll be hard to adjust to this new, strange lifestyle simply because he doesn’t really allow you time to adjust.

He’s expecting everything to be sunshine and roses from the moment you wake up as a freshly kidnapped darling, his expectations high that you’ll be pliant and willing and happy to learn that you’re finally, finally together.

And while it takes a lot of disobedience from you to snap him out of his rose colored view of you, Kyojuro is doing everything in his power to make sure that your relationship is perfect, that he’s taking good care of you and loving you as he should.

Which leads to another important aspect of being his darling - he doesn’t see women is inferior in any way (Shinobu and Mitsuri alone have dispelled that image), but he likes the idea of you being his housewife, fulfilling traditionally feminine duties.

He likes the idea of you taking care of the home, making sure dinner is cooked and served for him in the evening (he’ll often send a crow your way when he’s heading home after missions, just so that you can prepare for his arrival - normally, this means a meal and very little clothing adorning your frame, so that he can feast on your delicious food and then your delicious body), and attending to his every need as he does you.

He likes the idea of you keeping the mansion clean and eagerly awaiting his return home when he’s away, your devotion to him keeping you motivated to make sure everything is perfectly in order for him.

He’s trying for children very, very early on, his thrusts slow, deep and meaningful as he kisses you and promises that this will finally be the load that takes, because the mere idea of you swollen with his child and needing his help to do things even as simple as sitting down makes him giddy and unbearably excited.

And he doesn’t want just one child - oh no, he wants many, as many as you’re willing to give him.

He wants the perfect family with you, and as your captor, he won’t try to hide this wish. You will be made aware that he wants you to dote on him, that he wants you to spread your legs and conceive his child, that he wants you you you.

(He’s discussing potential names with you within the first week of having kidnapped you, his fingers idly tracing over your stomach as he tells you that the first born must be named Shinjuro, then perhaps we’ll have a daughter, and she can be named Hana! But we must also have some named Takeru, Ucharo, Nakagome, Watabe, and of course Shigeru! And after that, if you have any names in mind, we can surely name the following children them!)

Kyojuro isn’t necessarily bad, per se, as he does genuinely spoil you and give you all the time and attention and physical affection he can, but you’ll feel weighed down, crushed, drowning in the way he always seems to take and take from you.

But eventually, you will grow dependent on him - how can you not? He’s still so sweet with all the compliments he gives you (a little deranged, perhaps, but the sentiment is there), the reverence in his eyes when he gazes at you, the gentleness and eagerness in his touch when he has his hands on you.

He’s complicated, yes, but life with him will be so very simple - just bend to his whims, and perhaps you’ll even enjoy the way he hugs you so tightly it nearly hurts, or how he limits the number of servants who are allowed to speak with you - he just loves you, and is it so wrong to enjoy being loved?

PUNISHMENTS:

As his darling, you’re somewhat lucky that Kyojuro is as delusional as he is, if only because it keeps him mostly blind to any misbehavior and attitude you can throw at him.

Of course, he has his limits, but in general he’s able to write off any snarky comments of yours or slight attempts to put distance between the two of you as you simply you trying to be funny, barking out a laugh and moving even closer to you, pressing into your space even more, making sure there’s not an inch of space between your bodies.

Or, sometimes, he interprets your very blatant rebellions against him as you simply trying to test his resolve – he thinks you’re trying to force him into showing just how deeply he loves you, as if you’re testing just how strong his feelings for you are.

And while he finds this just the slightest bit offensive (you’re doubting his love for you – his passion for you; can you not tell that his heart beats only for you? Can you not see that alongside his duty to the Corp, you’re the reason he breaths, the reason he wakes up in the morning, the reason he’s alive?), it mostly serves as motivation for him to love you harder, to become more expressive with his feelings.

It pushes him to hug you tighter, his fingers nearly leaving bruises with the strength of his grip around you, the hugs going much longer and getting more intimate, if the brush of something big and hard against your thigh is any indication.

It pushes him to compliment you more, the words falling from his lips with such conviction that it’ll almost make you flustered, if the content wasn’t so unnerving.

(There’s lots of you are so beautiful, my flame, but there’s also a lot of you look so peaceful in your sleep, it makes me want to lock you away forever and keep you mine and deep inhales followed by your scent sets me on fire, my love, you don’t know what you do to me.)

He views most of your rebellions as simply you trying to catch his attention, perhaps being a sign that you feel you’re being neglected by all the missions he must leave you and attend to.

And frankly, Kyojuro doesn’t blame you – he wishes he could give you more attention too, because although he feels his job is wildly fulfilling and the morally correct thing to do, a more selfish part of his heart yearns to spend his days with you in his hands instead of his sword, your body curled up against his while he keeps you warm and tells you how deeply he loves you.

And because of all the different avenues he employs to simply disregard any negative behavior from you, punishments with Kyojuro are extremely rare. It takes quite a bit to push him into reality for even a brief moment, to force him to come face to face with the fact that you aren’t happy and that you don’t love him.

He only has a few triggers that can be powerful enough to force him into this mindset – you harming yourself, and you attempting to escape.

When you injure yourself, it’s difficult to rationalize why you would have done that, but he’s normally able to scold you (with condescending words and tone, that same smile stretched across his lips), telling you to be more careful and let me prepare your bath next time, all burns from hot water must be avoided in the future! But you trying to escape is not so easy to twist into a pleasing fantasy of his.

It’s much harder to understand why you’re ceaselessly trying to break open the windows of the estate, to the point where your knuckles bleed and your elbows bruise. It’s harder to understand why you try to work at the lock keeping the main doors sealed, your poor fingernails splitting and aching from all the tugging and pulling.

He’s not sure why you’re going through so much trouble – surely there must be easier ways to get his attention. Surely there must be less painful and pitiful methods to get him fawning over you and proving his dedication to you – so why aren’t you taking them? Why are you choosing this difficult path, one that makes him apprehensive to leave you alone for more than thirty seconds?

(Not that that’s the only reason he’s hesitant to leave you alone – his clinginess and desire for your physical touch is the bulk majority – but it’s still a major player.)

And when he asks you, with his arms wrapped around your abdomen, your own arms flailing and your legs kicking at anything you can reach, your answer will have him pausing for a moment, an unwelcome feeling of reality washing back over him.

Because I hate being here, I want to go home! Please, let me go home!

His spine goes straight at that, his eyes widening ever so slightly, your punches and kicks to his shoulders and thighs doing nothing to faze him. You want… to go home? But aren’t you already home, by his side?

His grip tightens on you, a sort of displeased hum ringing in your ears. He’s carrying you away from the front doors and down the convoluted hallways of the estate, his grip on you never weakening.

Your words repeat over and over in his head, each replay confusing him more and more. You aren’t happy being here? With him? He bites his lip, bright eyes glancing down at you in his arms, with big tears slipping down your cheeks and your shoulders shaking with poorly concealed sobs.

This doesn’t seem like an attempt at gaining his attention – why would you go through such lengths? In all his time of falling in love with you, he’s never known you to be such a good actor.

Your tears look real, as does the sound of your voice when you whisper his name and weakly pound your fist against his chest, begging him to let me go home, I can’t be here any longer, I can’t stand it!

He sets you down onto the bed of the bedroom he’s brought you into – the bedroom where he forces you to sleep beside him, your nightclothes sticking to your skin with the heat that radiates from his body and the sheer proximity his forced cuddling creates.

He’ll watch as you scramble away from him, curling your knees to your chest and looking up at him with such raw, pained eyes, and for a moment it makes Kyojuro’s heart clench, genuine regret rushing through him.

Has he made you this upset? Is he the reason for your anguish? It makes something heavy and uncomfortable settle into his chest, and it’s that driving force that pushes him to come closer to you, matching your every scoot away from him with a step towards you.

Eventually your back hits the wall and he kneels before you, his face mere inches from your own.

Tell me, my flame, why are you so displeased?

His question makes you gulp, but before you can stop yourself your mouth is already moving, every repressed thought and emotion you’ve felt the last few weeks you’ve been stuck with him finally coming to light.

Because you’re a monster! You’ve kidnapped me and forced me into being your wife, and you have the audacity to ask me why I’m upset? I can’t stay with you, Kyojuro, not here, not anywhere! We aren’t in love – you’re mistaken, I don’t love you and whatever this is, it’s not love, so don’t tell me you love me! Please, just let me return to my home and family, I beg of you.

You cut yourself off with a small sob, and as your eyes flutter closed for a brief moment, your blood runs cold when they reopen.

You’ve never seen Kyojuro look like this – gone is that familiar grin of his, instead replaced with a harsh, straight, tight lipped expression. His eyes no longer hold any of the warmth and adoration he normally gazes at you with – rather, they seem unbearably cold, the heavy weight of his stare making you shrink in on yourself despite your rather brave speech. And something about his presence feels much larger than you’ve ever experienced it – it’s in this moment that you realize just how defined and huge the muscles he’s sporting across his upper and lower body are, the man before you holding more strength in his pinky finger than you in all of your body.

It’s crushing, the sick, horrible feeling that something is terribly wrong making your every hair stand on end, your breath ragged as you wait for his next move. Kyojuro nods slowly, his expression not changing.

I see.

You bite your lip, anxiety making a pit form in your stomach.

You need to be reminded of what’s important, my flame. You’ve become misguided – but don’t fret, I will help guide you back to the path. This will hurt, but with time you’ll understand my actions and perhaps even thank me for them.

His words have red flags raising immediately in your mind, but before you can really even process your own questions, his hand is shooting out grasping on of yours, fingers pressing against the pad of your index finger and pushing pushing pushing –

There’s a sickening crunch noise that fills your ears, and everything feels numb for a moment before white-hot, acute agony rushes through you, your finger already swelling and throbbing from the broken bone now within it.

Kyojuro watches as you sob harder, your eyes red and puffy as you look at him, your gaze weak and, quite frankly, pitiful. He only takes a deep breath, his Adam’s apple bobbing, before moving to the next finger, a matching crunch sound only making you cry harder.

Eventually, each finger on your left hand is broken, his hands already moving to start on your right. He’s quick about each break, not letting the pain linger any longer than absolutely necessary, but it doesn’t matter.

By the time he finishes with your right thumb, you’re nearly numb from the pain, your tears having run dry as you shake and jerk with every hiccup and sob that wracks your frame. The sight hurts Kyojuro, truly – and he’ll tell you as much.

Shh, oh my flame, don’t cry – I know it hurts terribly, but so does my heart. Do you see now? Do you see that I love you? I’m showing you that our love is real and pure – I will nurse you back to your proper health. I will be your hands when you cannot touch, and I will stay at your bedside every free moment to keep you company and ensure a quick recovery. Do you understand now? This is your home – no one can care for you in the way that I can.

His voice is soft, with a certain condescending lilt to it that only makes you dumbly nod, the pain still rendering you numb to your surroundings. And as Kyojuro carefully picks you up once more, moving you to your shared futon and gently tucking you under the covers, he’ll quickly gather some small sticks and medical gauze, wrapping each finger and cooing at you all the while.

And as he places a kiss onto each finger tip once its wrappings are complete, you’ll find yourself considering his words.

The conviction to individually break each finger of your lover is certainly no joke – perhaps he could be correct? Is this love?

Is the way he'll carefully feed you your meals as your wounds heal a sign of his truly undying feelings for you?

Is the way he bathes you (with wandering hands and stuttered breaths) a sign that he does truly care for you?

Is the way he helps you use the restroom without the use of your own hands a sign that he’ll truly stand by your side through darkness and light?

Your brain screams no, every ounce of your independence fighting the stream of questions, but some part of you finds comfort in the notion, in believing Kyojuro when he says that he loves you.

And as the days pass and your injuries slowly heal, your captor’s constant presence by your side helping to keep you clean, healthy and well fed, you’ll find that part of you growing louder and louder, drowning out your mind.

Because really, does it even matter? Kyojuro Rengoku is a man of dedication and unwavering devotion – and if he wants you to love him, isn’t it only a matter of time before he succeeds?

After all, who are you to stand your ground in the face of someone like him?

OVERALL DANGER:

6/10

Kyojuro isn’t necessarily dangerous, or at least in the sense of being a threat to your life. He’s clingy and needy and out of touch with reality, of course, but he doesn’t enjoy the notion of hurting you. He’s willing to, if it’s his only choice, but you’ll never need to worry that any hidden sadistic tendencies of his will emerge. He’ll never suddenly develop the desire to see you cry, nor will he suddenly discard you should his feelings dissipate.

Once his infatuation begins, Kyojuro is committed to making sure that you stay healthy, happy, and – most importantly – by his side.

He’s convinced that he’s the one that can make you happy, that he can give you the most perfect, loving future, filled with laughter, kisses, stolen touches and even a few children with bright yellow and red hair running around the estate.

He’s convinced that he can make you happy, that he already does make you happy, and it will be extremely difficult to snap him out of this fantasy he’s created for the two of you.

He’s an influential man with extreme importance, and you’d be extremely hard pressed to find anyone who would even believe you if you were to somehow escape him, if you were to somehow catch on to his nefarious intentions before he’s stolen you away.

It’s the combination of being surrounded by death, and a yearning to be happy and build a loving family that pushes him to pursue you, developing a future with you feeling so fucking important that he simply can’t resist the drive to court you, to wed you, to see your gorgeous smile and the pretty golden ring with flames engraved on it around your finger.

He’s simply a man in love, and if that love means his hands on your body, pulling you closer and closer and closer until you can hardly breath, so be it.

It’s only natural for something as powerful as love to create such a strong devotion, and isn’t it oddly romantic, in a way? To know that someone as powerful, important and revered as Kyojuro is in love with little old you?

Doesn’t it make you feel good to know you have the Flame Pillar wrapped around your finger, that he’d get on his knees for you at just the merest flutter of your lashes?

He’s truly in love, so embrace it with open arms – he sure is, and things will be much, much better for you the sooner you accept the love he’s so frantically delivering to you.

#yandere kny #yandere rengoku #_kny #_kyojuro rengoku #yandere kyojuro rengoku #yandere demon slayer

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aubeystawby · 9 months

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THEY DON'T KNOW A THING ABOUT THE RAIN CLOUDS daring charming x gn!rebel!reader ➤ summary: Daring is alone, stuck in a place where no one really understands him. Funnily enough, you know how that feels, maybe the two of you can be lonely together.

Daring: I’ve never had a friend before. Reader: It’s okay, I’ll be your friend. Daring: ...I’ve never had a partner before either.

➤ notes: i got an idea and dumped a bunch of baggage on this guy! only gendered term used is daring referring to reader with "partner" (romantically) ➤ warnings: just a bit generally sad in the beginning, daring has troubles with like self worth and no one Genuinely liking him

It's not obvious that Daring is lonely. He's painfully popular, he has friends, he had a girlfriend until a 'mutual' breakup a couple weeks ago — which means he's now got dozens of princes and princesses lining up in the hopes of being the next —, and he's close with his siblings, whom he cares about very much. He should be perfectly not lonely; an ideal person with an ideal life everyone should strive for.

So really, with someone so 'obviously' perfect, who's constantly surrounded by friends and admirers alike, it should be no surprise just how lonely he is.

It shows in the cracks, in the seams of his perfectly stitched clothes, when he stands in front of his bedroom mirror late at night while his roommate is elsewhere, and just stares.

There's nothing wrong with him, he whispers, but something is still not right.

He realises slowly it's because his life is so superficial.

People love him because he's a charming, a dashing prince destined for amazing adventures of legendary heroics, not for the boy who makes jokes he really does think are rather clever, or for the genuinely thoughtful nature hidden just beneath his shining jacket and standoffish demeanour. People only laugh at his jokes because he's Daring Charming, because he's popular.

He asked his friends once what they thought of a certain joke he'd made, and not a single one could say anything genuine, none of them even really understood it, they just laughed because Daring Charming was saying it.

Apple only ever dated him because she was meant to, because it was her destiny. She's sweet, she's kind, but none of it was ever truly real, she never truly — beneath all the responsibilities and feeling like she had to — wanted to be with him.

Daring feels a sort of pit in his stomach when he thinks about Apple. She was his first girlfriend, his first kiss, but none of it was true. If he thinks about it long enough, none of it ever mattered to her like it did to him. And every time he realises this, he quickly buries it. Guilt. Apple is a good person, truly. It's not her fault. Truly.

Daring can't look at all the people tripping over their own feet for him the same anymore, all he sees are people bound by the same thing that brought Apple to him; they think they should be with a Charming. None of them want to be with him for him.

He reminds himself anyone would trade everything they have to be him, to live his life, to have such a 'perfect' fairytale waiting for them, so he's not allowed to feel sad, he's not allowed to hate this life as much as he does. He needs to be grateful, because his life is wonderful, his life is perfect.

Daring has grown to hate perfection, deep down in his stomach during dark sleepless nights and the spaces between breaths, hidden in places where he allows it — just for a moment — because he thinks that there, it can do no harm, there it doesn't make him a bad, ungrateful, person.

It was too late to turn back when he was faced with the fact that his whole life had become solely those moments.

He hadn't even been the one to realise it, to look around and see his growing isolation, to see the dimness in his eyes, the shadow following him around like a miserable storm cloud. It had been you.

You, someone with a destiny that had nothing to do with him, nothing to do with princes or princesses at all.

You, a rebel, who never befriended someone you didn't want to, who made connections with your classmates not out of necessity but genuine curiosity.

You, who didn't always laugh at Daring's jokes like everyone else did, but always smiled. Even if you thought what he said was dumb or unfunny, there would always still be a soft look on your face with your lips upturned, for you recognised the playful glimmer in his eyes and couldn't help but be happy that he was happy.

You, who was the first and only to notice he was no longer okay, and immediately checked on him like he imagines a true friend would.

Daring only just realises he's been rambling, been saying anything that comes to mind, and just telling you everything. He can't decide whether this feels freeing or mortifying.

"...And now I'm here..." Daring mutters, avoiding eye contact with you from where you sit beside him.

You don't say anything for a moment, and he's scared he's lost you, when you tentatively rest your hand on his where it's placed on his knee.

If Daring wasn't so scared of you laughing in his face and telling everyone how pathetic he is, he'd register the slightest uptick in his heartbeat, or the way he inexplicably wants to shuffle closer to you. But for now his face is just the slightest bit warmer for a reason he refuses to acknowledge.

"I don't want to say I understand," You finally speak up, voice soft and thumb tracing comforting circles on the back of Daring's hand, "Because I don't exactly, considering I'm not..." A prince, a princess, or even just royalty.

You see the slightest nod from Daring, telling you he understands, and you take it as a sign to continue.

"But, I get what it's like to... to feel like your life isn't your own, like no one around you is genuine or... Real?... I know what that's like."

Daring feels something deep in his chest, a spark and a murmur, something that draws him to you, and he finally understands that you're like him. You see him for who he is, and he sees you.

You're struggling to say it, words hesitant and unsure, but he understands.

"I don't know if... — before everything with Raven not signing, and then finally feeling like I had a choice — I don't know if I'd had many true friends either. I mean I think I did, sometimes... which isn't the same as you..."

Your voice trails off quietly and you curse yourself internally for messing up your sentiment so badly, but when you go to make some sort of self deprecation for being so bad with words and profusely apologise for what you're sure sounded like kicking Daring while he's down, he surprises you — which you're starting to realise is something you might need to get used to.

"No, you're right."

There's something different when he speaks this time, in the way he doesn't sound as defeated, like there's something there that wasn't there before.

Hope. Trust.

You welcome the change — the light at the end of the tunnel — with open arms.

"What I mean is..." You take another deep breath, turning your gaze to Daring, catching his eyes with something he finds he can't look away from, "I may not have had very many true friends... you may not have had many true friends... So... we could be eachother's friends?"

It's a question more than a statement, your nervousness more than apparent in the fear you may have crossed a boundary, your wish to help Daring — and the more selfish desire to spend time with him for your own sake of just liking being around him — having gone too far and landing you right in creep territory.

Daring surprises you again.

His smile isn't like the boasting ones you're used to, it's happier, more authentic. It's true.

He doesn't realise he's nodding, and you don't notice it either, your attention solely on his joyful expression, internally begging yourself not to be horribly embarrassing and cry happy tears.

It feels sudden — but really it's slow, tentative — when Daring flips his hand for your palms to now touch, your hands clinging onto eachother without a second thought. It never even crosses your mind to pull away.

"Y'know..." Daring begins, his voice still tender but louder — more confident — than before, "I've never had a real partner either..."

You can't stop your eyes from widening, how many times is it that Daring Charming has surprised you in the past ten minutes now!?

You're ready to laugh awkwardly, desperately try to hide how much you do want to be with him like that, maybe even run away and avoid him for the rest on eternity lest this all be a joke — but your mouth has other plans.

"Neither have I—"

The kiss is quick, your lips meet his for just a second, and suddenly you're both ten times the flustered messes than you were before.

"—We could be eachother's partners."

Daring's unmistakable grin reflects your own equally elated one.

#daring charming x reader #ever after high x reader #eah x reader #ever after high imagine #ever after high imagines #eah imagine #eah imagines #ever after high fanfic #eah fanfic #ever after high fic #eah fic #╰─www.my-writing.com─╯

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k-dokja · 1 year

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Summary: I swear this has nothing to do with my influx of stress/work related fic, no.

Seong Taehoon has a problem.

And if that problem is somehow shaped like you then he won't pretend it's a coincidence. His having to share you with every other people in your life is one thing, he cannot fathom what possesses you to bring your little brother to your cafe date of all things.

"I can explain."

"I kid you not, I don't care."

For all that he said, Taehoon goes out of his way to censor the expletive in front of Minhyuk even if he has no obligation to do it. After all, the boy is turning thirteen this year, he should know some words already. But he's your younger brother and Taehoon's student, of all things, Taehoon feels responsibility even when he shouldn't.

That responsibility does not extend to Minhyuk's interference with your date, however.

"I can leave—"

"Sit down," you command.

Taehoon frowns instinctively when Minhyuk's chair scrapes on the floor, leaving high pitches scratch in his shuffling. Once upon a time, he admired you for how you managed to handle everything at once. Now, at this very moment, Taehoon feels whatever positive feeling he has for your management skill dwindle.

It's only admirable when he's not affected by your multitasking.

"Just let him go home, he doesn't even want to be here."

"It's not that simple."

You frown, lips pressed, fists clenched. On any other day, you'd have been adorable enough for him to forego the teasing and reward you with his affection. Not today, however. Today, he sets his asserting eyes on you while you work your words into coherent sentences.

"Make it simple."

"You're not the only one I neglected with my busy schedule, you know," you raise your chin defiantly, "I need to spend time with my family, too."

He holds back the urge to sneer because nobody needs to pose a bad example to Minhyuk. But his displeasure is not afforded the same consideration, he openly glares at you. His arms cross in front of his chest when he speaks next, "Oh so you acknowledge that you've been negligent?"

"Really, I can leave—"

"Sit down, Minhyuk," you keep your eyes locked with Taehoon, "yes, I've been a bad everything, sue me for it."

You groan, slumping back in your chair. "I don't want to be this bombarded either, but what can I do? There are thirty million things for me to study if I want to ace the entrance exam."

He knows your grievance well. Not by any personal experience, but from his observation of you these past years. More than anyone, Taehoon understands that you've been striving for this all this time. Yet, it does not sit with his conscience to see you slave over it day and night. "It'd be easier on you if you simply accepted those scholarships you were given to study abroad."

Then it comes. The pout on your face melts away any of his irritation and replaces them with a simpler amusement. "Then I'd have to be further away from you, wouldn't that be counterproductive?"

With those words alone, you've successfully flipped his mood upside down. He knows you didn't mean to do it this way, yet your accomplishment is undeniable. If there's any other cherry on top of this, then he'd name the element of surprise you gave him. At least, he can conceal the mirth he's having for now.

"What?" He drawls. "You think I can't go with you if that was the choice?"

Ignoring how his earlier annoyance no longer remains, Taehoon leans across the coffee table, his chin propped on his palm. "I just don't like the possibility of having to be away from you," your reply is muffled but it's there even when you turn away from him, your pouting hasn't ceased.

From the corner of his eyes, Taehoon notices Minhyuk trying to leave discretely. "Sit down," he says without leaving you out of his sight.

The boy promptly follows the order, hands clasp on the table dutifully. Taehoon returns to you once again. "Do you have any faith in me at all?"

"I don't like to leave things to luck," you reply readily and somehow, that spurs Taehoon on.

He raises a hand to obstruct Minhyuk's line of vision, even if the boy manages to turn away in time. The kiss is swift and short-lived. He'd have wanted more, had it not for your predicament.

Your eyes turn round at his claim of your lips, but you make no protest. To be specific, you didn't have enough time to think before he plops back in his seat. "You don't have to suffer now to enjoy life later, either. I already told you before, I'm here whenever. Not just for your free time, but for your busy time as well."

"Ugh, can you stop being pragmatic and making sense?" You groan again. "That's supposed to be my job."

"Stop trying to do everything first then," he challenges, "you can tell me what to do once you have your sh—stuff together."

You sigh. There is no winning with him when he's like this. With a defeated smile, you surrender to him completely, mind, body, and soul. "Fine, your win," you press your lips together, not willing to go down quietly, "but I get to pick the destress activity."

Taehoon smirks. With his initial goal satisfied, it seems like there is little else that bothers him. "Sure, whatever you say long as that means I'll get to spend time with my girlfriend."

Besides you, a forgotten presence speaks up, "Uh, I can still leave if you want."

Throwing him a sideway glance, Taehoon arches a singular eyebrow that shut down any further argument.

"Ugh..."

Poor Minhyuk.

#seong taehoon #seong taehoon x reader #how to fight #viral hit #fics

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shed0kryptz · 15 days

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UM so i wrote these monologue things for db and collector. ik i have not shared too much on their lore but im super happy with how they turned out, considering that i wrote them on the spot. i had more of a basis for collector’s, so imo it came out better than db’s. but enjoy !!!!!

Collector:

“I’ve seen both sides of the Dealbreaker. Its aggression. And its passion. Sometimes, I feel as if it’s misunderstood, but then I remember what it took him to get here. The person he once was. The reason he is the Dealbreaker. but I don’t mind it. In fact, it’s admirable with his past in mind. We may have had our faults long ago, but its changed since then. I, too, changed along with him. Our impressions of each other came from bitterness; I, admittedly, was jealous of his rise in status and mistook rumors for fact. But, once I got to know it, I realized how wrong I was. I never had considered why it wanted power in the first place, nor did I question its self-centered ego. It all makes sense now, but he is still the Dealbreaker. This persona of his will follow it forever, it seems, but at least I will know the truth. I know who it is and how wonderful it can be.”

DB:

“For most of my life, I spent so much time trying to fill the hole in my core. Even in the beginning, I had a vast, unexplainable emptiness within me. When my control was taken away in my youth, this only worsened. Those experiences became the motivation that gave me my position, yet, after reaching the top, I still longed for something that was missing. So, I tried everything to no avail: partying, drugs, alcohol, dating, sex. Hell, even casual hobbies like painting! But then it hit me. Or I should say, it was right in front of me: the person I had grown so close to in my own office. The one who enjoyed my ramblings and cared for my well-being; the one who never missed a deadline and appreciated getting extra work; the one who brewed me coffee whenever I was too lazy to go out: my own colleague, the Collector. After confessing my feelings, I’ve felt complete with it. I have never met someone who listens and understands like it. No one has ever made me feel more secure, too; he allows me to be myself and never judges what I do. Though we hadn’t gotten along originally, I was wrong for throwing him under the bus so often. I only cared about documents being submitted and the upcoming paycheck, never thinking twice about what it had to say. Now, i’ve realized that my selfish ways were not the answer. Neither were my indulgent habits. I’ve finally found my other half, and I no longer strive to go higher, but if I ever do, Collector is coming along with me.”

#can you tell that im normal about them #i am so normal. totally #dbcollector #ouuuGGGHHH

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thegodthief · 1 year

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Dreamt I met someone I had once admired. Because of them I had dared to do some things that paid off well for me. Since then they did things that soured their reputation and made me wonder why I put them on that pedestal in the first place.

I realized I had done so because they weren't that other asshole and at the time they had really good marketing game.

One of my public accomplishments was at their behest, and it was never acknowledged that I had completed it. I later found out it was privately condemned for reasons that have remained obscured to me.

After all these years, I dreamt we were in the same room at the same time and I realized I had nothing to say to them. I wanted to tear into them for the money I threw away following them, but that's on me for willfully being blind to their grift. I wanted to challenge them to say something publicly about my achievement but I realized that what I have built on that work is more important and lasting than any syllable they have uttered.

I looked at them and realized the world that they have created for themselves requires them to always be grinding. Not striving, grinding. They need to grind on someone so they are perceived as a little taller than everyone else.

A broken clock can tell the right time at least once a day. It was time to leave this clock in the past.

I started to walk away. They yelled after me. I hadn't even said hello and now I'm turning my back?

"My apologies, but I just realized that our worlds share no common point and what I thought was admiration was just envy of a false perception."

I turned away again. They yelled at me to come back and say it in front of them, to their face. "You ran the first time, you fucking coward! I'm going to make sure everyone knows you're still fake like I did before! You can't do [anything] but tell stories!"

I stopped. In the waking world, I had found crumbs of their disapproval but at the time I wanted to be accepted by them (by anyone) so bad that I was willing to ignore the red flags.

I looked back at them. "Maybe that was you, then. Maybe this is more than just a dream. Maybe you're plucking on old lines of attachment seeking nourishment for your ego. Maybe what I heard was true and that you did take it personally that I [did a thing] without involving you. Tell your stories, magician. You have a lovely speaking voice last I heard. But you, like [him], have become a footnote in my history. Tell your stories because that's all of me that you have now. There is nothing in my present world that requires your attention to create or maintain."

I turned back to the undefined boundaries of the dream and began walking away. They yelled at me to come back to hear their side of what happened, of what didn't happen. I heard their voice slip into the same tones I've heard on their podcast when they were crowing about having superiority over someone they don't like.

As the dream dissolved around me, I considered what connections I still have of them in the waking. History is historical. Some things have to remain as written because that's how it happened. But once a social contract is broken, I'm in the rights to cut those lines free.

And freedom is the best accomplishment to have.,

#dream #After all this time I start dreaming of them again?#sus

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xcassienightingale · 2 years

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continue from here X | @s-radford |

Perfection wasn’t something either of them strive for, Cassie is acutely aware of this fact but she does believe that their love is pretty idyllic when you consider the facts. They went from two people who had always had conflicting opinions, always respectful of course, to two people who instead of voice said opinions, searching for ideas and hearing each other's potential solutions came into play. Because Cassie respects Sam’s profession with a passion. His humanity only shines brighter every day. At the beginning it was all about pride, and even Sam couldn’t deny it, if the whole ‘graduated from medical school in three years’ had anything to say. Moving to Middleton had opened up more than just his heart to her, but to the profession he had chosen for himself. He was a humanitarian through and through and even though sometimes Cassie is scared out of her damn mind whenever he volunteers abroad, she is always proud of everything he does and accomplish. So he may not think he is perfect, but to Cassie? Well, he is. “You have your own brand of perfection, Sam. We all do.” There’s a smile playing on her lips, truth and admiration shining in her eyes and a fierce need for him to believe in her words. And considering how, for a brief moment, they didn’t have a clear cut view of their future together, now, standing with him in their home, it was amazing how things could change in the blink of an eye.

Thinking about her teenage years hasn't always been filled with happy memories but she likes to pretend. She likes to think about a version of them knowing each other when they were younger The optimist and the realist. Two sides of the same coin together in a dance of wits and excitement. As different as Cassie was back then, there was no doubt in her mind that, if given the opportunity to have met all those years ago, their lives would have completely been different. Because the reality was that Sam had ignited something in her that no other person had ever been able to, and she dares to say that not even Jake had managed such a feat. Even though meeting Sam back years ago wouldn’t have given her the opportunity to meet Jake (which she doesn’t regret one bit, Grace had been an amazing gift) the truth was that, sometimes, she liked to pretend that there was indeed a version of herself with Sam before they ever got together now. “I don’t know…” She begins, lips upturned, mind going through the many what ifs she had thought of ever since she met him. “I think, like now, we would’ve balanced each other out. There’s no world where I don’t fall in love with you.” Call her sappy, but that’s how she felt.

His comment about technology has Cassie humming, because she agrees. Technology, as helpful as it has been, has a way of preventing people from seeing things that are in front of them, especially teens. “Why do you think the internet goes out from time to time.” There’s a wink following suit and Sam knows the drill by now, probably enjoys it whenever Cassie is on of her feelings.

It doesn’t go amiss to Cassie how Sam’s entire demeanor shifted. Her own body felt the rise of heat, rising up her neck. The desire grows exponentially but she finds herself cool under his fierce gaze. But for how long though? There’s so much she can stand before being rendered putty in his hands. Which could be seen in the way her eyes shut when his hands were on her neck. There was something debilitating about that action. It spurns her insides, causes the head to flare and fog her mind. The house was empty, everyone taking their leave for the morning and no new guest were scheduled to arrive till the afternoon. For the most part they were left alone to their own devices and she didn’t have to be at the store just yet, Tara was taking care of it while George went to have a nice morning with Sam. They have a rare opportunity of alone time that didn’t happen very often. “I find myself in a rare moment of down time till this afternoon…” Her voice comes out breathy, hands finding purchase on his forearm. “Maybe we can actually exercise together for a change.”

#s-radford #001 x Sam #T | Forever Yours.

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dearserenesoul · 1 month

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I mean, of course we will admire those people who exhibit values & virtues in themselves. We will boast about them, say good things about them in front of other people in their absence.

And sometimes what we find admirable is something we hope & strive to cultivate within ourselves. Lowkey, if i'm not a bitter person, i think that may come from our ego too.

But I don't like black & white thinking.

Yeah, of course we can find all the proofs on how knowledge is the highest virtue one can have. Knowledge is light. Knowledge is enlightening. To the aql. To the qalb. To the human soul. Al-Quran differentiates between those who know & those who don't. So by all means, glorify knowledge, raise true people of knowledge, love knowledge, seek knowledge ourselves.

But i'm so so so tired of noticing the same disappointing pattern in these people who claim to love true knowledge & true people of knowledge.

Lack of humility. Borderline arrogance. Lack of gentleness.

I mean, i understand if they are passionate about the Truth. That even a slight mistake that opens the door of confusion would be quickly pointed out. But, where's the gentleness?

Passionate doesn't have to be aggressive, no?

And not demeaning, not condescending.

If knowledge makes us harsh, if knowledge of dīn makes us harsh, we may as well love our ego other than the knowledge. Not that we don't love knowledge sincerely,

But the matter of the heart is truly subtle. We may not realize how arrogance can silently creep in.

Hati-hati lah, korang.

Knowledge is noble. Knowledge will glorify its bearers. But lets not glorify our own self because we think we're on the path of knowledge.

We are led to the knowledge by Him. Although it looks like our own effort, no, it's by Him. So don't glorify our own ego with something noble.

Humble down. Humble down please. We are nothing if not for His Guidance. Humble down. We can be stupid in a blink of an eye. Humble down. Please.

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aqua2fana · 1 year

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Breakdown of Bruce Wayne’s Birthchart

For starts, this is within an 8° Orb meaning that there is an 8° margin of error for aspects

Disclaimer: While I do give in depth explanations of each planet and what effect their house and sign has on them, I don’t do the same for the aspects. The aspect descriptions I provide are generalized and don’t take the houses or signs involved into account, only the planets. For more insight into an aspect, check the individual planet descriptions to get an idea of the specifics of the relation between the two. It’s important to keep in mind that the entire chart matters. There are no planets that exist independent of all the others and their signs, houses, orbs, dominance, and all of their aspects will have an effect on the energy of that planet as a whole. Some of these readings will seem to contradict each other because they are read as though they are separated from everything else in the chart. To understand the overall energy of a planet you will need to look at everything that planet is a part of.

Dominant planets are colored (dominant planets are the top 3 planets with the most influence in a chart), Exact aspects are italicized (exact aspects are strong), the 👑 is next to the chart ruler (the planet ruled by the rising sign which says a lot about an individuals relationship with life)

I hope you’re ready to read this absolute novel of explanations compiled from various sources.

April 7, 1985 in Bridgeton, NJ at 12:00 pm

0° Leo Rising: Proud but usually tries to be their best self at all times, thus earning the respect they crave. Dignified , usually with a loyalty and sense of integrity that are becoming rare in modern times. Weakness is rarely admitted, and a sense of lordly authority often comes naturally (usually without the authoritarianism that Capricorn, for example, displays). Hence, more an administrator than a dynamic leader. An open, honest manner with others elicits loyal and affectionate responses. People with Leo Ascendant need to use their creativity, authority and power. They are looking for love, admiration and applause. Some might push to the front by force and be eccentric. They should strive to become an independent and distinct person. Potential danger of these people is their pride. They must first show a good effort in order to deserve respect and admiration. Those who fail to shine may become bitter. A crucial turn is when they learn to give without expecting something in return. With the chart ruler being the sun, these people want to take control over their surroundings and they try to lead and direct. They get excited over a dream and they try to realise it. They try to increase the value of things; they want to become creators. With the sun being in Aries (exalted) these people are impulsive. They express themselves energetically and authoritatively. They are hot-tempered and somewhat irrational. They are enterprising. And with the Aries Sun being in the 10h these people rise higher and higher and they control others. Predisposition to leadership or to influence others.

0° Leo Rising trine 27° Scorpio Saturn 5h: The positive thing about this aspect is that these people are prudent and honest. With Saturn Trine to your Ascendant indicates that you are practical and restrained in your approach to others, and to life itself. You are able to contain your impulses, and to think before you act. You realize that you are responsible for your own actions and are more capable of self-discipline if you think the results will be worth the effort.

You can be a good communicator and have an air of superiority about you. Not that you probably are, it’s just this placement allows you to be quite commanding in your conversations which most people can sense and respect making you feel quite good about yourself. Though, you need to learn how to express yourself better in order to get to the point where you are respected. You have a more serious disposition with this aspect, and you should watch out for coming across as too dry or boring with your relationships. You don't like to waste your energy on trivial matters including superficial relationships or conversations. You are quite fair and just when it comes to your how you handle your relationships, but if someone does get on your bad side it is not so easy for you to forgive them. Your mental state may be a little rigid and conservative so be aware to try to keep an open mind to other people’s opinions or perspectives, trying to understand other people’s points of view can help you be more sympathetic and understanding of other people’s ideas. You are a good planner and could be successful in careers to do with planning, systems, law, media or education.

0° Leo Rising square 3° Scorpio Pluto 4h:

The positive thing about this aspect is that it gives people independent, sometimes even extreme behaviour and the ability to physically and mentally regenerate. The negative thing about this aspect is that these people do not realise what impression they are making on others and they often cause themselves harm because of it. With Pluto square your Natal Ascendant, power, control and manipulation can have an impact on your personality. Career, fame and recognition will important to you. You tend to be self-righteous and believe that you are always right when you are dealing with other people, especially business partnerships or with people of authority.

You can be quite aggressive and arrogant, and you want to push your agenda onto others and take things personally when people don’t accept your viewpoints or opinions. You need to relax your personality a little, realize that the compromise and cooperation with others will help you achieve your goals not thwart them.

You do have a strong and magnetic personality which people tend to like when they are on your good side. This positive trait allows you to be able to work with others in a managerial sense just as long you can learn to be more diplomatic in your ability to deal with others success can surely be yours.

0° Leo Rising square 23° Aries Lilith 10h: With Lilith square Ascendant, your personality/mask may be off-putting to others. Even when you try to seem pleasing, people still see the worst qualities of your Lilith expressed in the ascendant. Those Lilith-related taboos come out in a way that makes others nervous. With Lilith square Ascendant, you may have the aura of being surrounded by death or scandal, or perhaps you just have an unexplainably taboo energy. Others feel nervous in general, as though you’re hiding a deep dark secret.

0° Leo Rising sextile 5° Gemini Chiron 11h: You easily find the support you need in order to thrive in spite of past wounds and traumas. With these Natal Chiron – Ascendant aspects there is a wound connected to how you present to others and how are you perceived. Embracing your past wounds and accepting yourself is your key to healing. Part of your process of healing involves the physical and outward manifestation of your past traumas. You need to speak openly about your challenges and fears. As you embrace your own healing, you are able to be a strong spoke person for other people who are struggling with the same wounds. Also, you have the ability to instill confidence in other people. Overcoming major disappointments has taught you how to rebuild self-esteem even when it looked as you would never recover. Other people are inspired by your personality, resilience, and ability to sustain in the face of adversity. Also, you are a very compassionate and forgiving person. That is why you are a wonderful and loyal friend upon whom others can rely.

17° Aries MC: Those born with an Aries Midheaven are full of confidence. They are optimistic and actively pursue their goals. They know what they want from an early age and are strong enough to follow their dreams without needing the support of others. The Midheaven can be indicative of your true vocation in life. This can be identified by the sign it is in as well as its ruling planet. The ruling planet of Aries is Mars, look to its house in your natal chart to discover which area of life your true vocation is directed towards.

17° Aries MC conjunct 18° Aries Sun 10h: In a positive sense this aspect indicates the ability to succeed using own means or with the help of others. In the negative sense it indicates difficulties acknowledging own values. Even while you are young, personal success and achievement will be very important. You will want to shine among your friends and be someone to whom they can look up. You will measure your success in life not so much by your inner sense of values, but by the impact you make on other people. This aspect often means that you will be socially successful, but you must work for it; such success is not automatic.

You have a great need to be in control of your life. As you get older, you will try to work in a business in which you can be your own boss. You are very independent and do not like working under someone, which can create problems while you are young. Thinking that you know better than your elders, you may rebel against their power over you. If you establish a pattern of rebellion, personal success will be hard to come by. You need help from others to get anywhere. So, you must avoid being arrogant, for that will alienate people. However, if you are willing to learn from others while you are young and put all your energies into developing skills that will be useful later, you will probably achieve something important in your own terms. In that case, you will know what you want to do and how to guide others.

You can enable others to fulfill their destiny as you fulfill yours. During childhood, the influence of your father or of a similar guide figure is especially important to you.

17° Aries MC conjunct 10° Aries Mercury 9h: The positive thing about this aspect is that it gives people intellectual abilities, business talent and good relationships at work that help them succeed. The negative side of this aspect is that it gives people restlessness and distractibility that can jeopardize their success. This aspect means that you have a very sharp mind, which you will use to get ahead. Very early in your life, you will learn to look at the world clearly and objectively, and you will learn to communicate in ways that are very advanced for your age. You may or may not become an intellectual when you are older, but you will use your mind continually, always searching for stimulating and exciting experiences. Because you cannot stand boredom, you are sometimes very restless. Your most important task is to be more disciplined, so that you stick to a task long enough to get some real benefit from it. There is a real danger that your interest in any subject will be shallow. Another possible problem, which may seem less serious but is actually greater, is that you prefer to deal with the world through your mind rather than your feelings. This will keep you from really being in touch with some experiences in life - such as love and sensitivity to beauty - for which your mind alone is not enough. Also, you cannot really get in touch with other people through your mind alone. Unless you develop your emotions along with your mind, you may feel lonely and cut off from others. With your lively mind, you may enjoy playing practical jokes on people. This is fine if you are careful not to hurt people who are more sensitive than you.

17° Aries MC conjunct 11° Aries Venus 9h: The positive thing about this aspect is that these people are popular at work. The negative side of this aspect is that they tend to be jealous and dissatisfied in their work environment. At its best, this placement means that you are full of love and affection for others, but at the same time you can follow your own path and attract only those who are able to go along with you. You will be liked because you can be yourself without feeling that you must live up to other people's ideas of what you should be.

This aspect may also mean that you have considerable artistic ability, although there should be other indications in the chart to confirm that. Certainly, you enjoy and appreciate beauty, and you are able to bring beauty into your everyday life. You enjoy peace and harmony, and you get along very well with others. Wherever you go, you create a peaceful atmosphere. Your relationship with your parents, as well as with other authorities, such as teachers and employers, should be excellent.

The key element in your ability to get along is that you are true to yourself as well as fair to others. This placement may indicate a career involving either beauty and art or human relations - that is, getting people to work easily together. Or your career might be in entertainment of some field in which you make people feel good and lighthearted. In any career, your ability to get along easily with people will be an important part of your success.

17° Aries MC trine 17° Sagittarius Uranus 5h: The positive thing about this aspect is that it gives people skilful and original behaviour that helps them achieve their goals. Probably your beliefs and ideas are different from those of the people around you, and you put a different value on physical objects as well. You do not like to be tied to possessions that you must take care of. This means that eventually you will prefer to have as few possessions as possible so that you can go wherever you want without any worries.

Very early in life, you will decide that you have to follow a path that is uniquely your own and does not follow anyone else's ideas about what is good for you. You want to break new ground, but in order to get there you won't have to battle others, especially your parents or other authority figures.

You should be sufficiently creative so that you can make them see the desirability of letting you have your way to a reasonable extent. You may change your mind several times about what you want to do with your life, not so much because your mind is unstable but because it is so difficult to find exactly what you need. Incidentally, this can be a sign of an interest in or, later, a career in a technical field, such as electronics, computers, engineering or science. Or you may be interested in the occult and astrology. You like a certain amount of excitement in your life, to keep from getting bored. You prefer anything new to what is old, so you will not be particularly interested in keeping in touch with your childhood and your past once you are finished with it. You are future-oriented, always looking ahead to the next thing to come along.

17° Aries MC conjunct 23° Aries Lilith 10h: Your sexuality, power and inner feelings fuel your public image and can make you a formidable force in career and business. Your adversaries will not want to step on your toes because you will be fiercely protective of your ambitions. At the same time you may have to learn to trust your instincts and refute the status quo in order to succeed in your industry. You can rise to positions of leadership by being true to yourself and this can lead you to an unorthodox path to success and leadership. As you express your raw desire for independence and power, you’ll attract those who admire your authenticity but also alienate those who want to convince you to tone down your approach. You may become infamous or gain notoriety for your instinctive, raw emotion and acts of rebellion especially in rebelling against the status quo in your business, industry or career path. Sexual scandals or pushing sexual or gender boundaries can also lead to social recognition or influence your career path.

👑 18° Aries Sun 10h: With an Aries Sun you possess abundant creative energy and enthusiasm for life. Very brave, positive and competitive, you have natural leadership qualities. Obstacles are overcome by sheer physical courage. An enterprising nature, with a capability for seizing opportunities is a factor for success. Recklessness and arrogance are your worst traits. You can also be violent when roused. You value your freedom and independence, though this may be interpreted as selfishness by others. To develop your personality to its fullest potential, the main task is one of gaining complete control over the physical and emotional natures to avoid extremes of embarrassing behaviour. With the Sun in the Tenth House, much of your energy will be applied to vocational achievement, professional success, leadership, social power and prestige. Public life is all important and the desire for social recognition and financial success is strong. You are likely to rise to a position of responsibility, power and authority - but not without a lot of hard work and frustration on the way. You will meet with many challenges and difficult situations within your professional environment. The Sun in the tenth house means glory and honour, but sometimes it can mean scandal and disgrace instead. These people will definitely not miss public attention. They will try to get authority, power or responsibility. This position often indicates a career in politics or the achievement of notable personal ambitions. These people will be an example and inspiration to others and their tenacious efforts will likely bring them growing reputation. Only very few individuals with the Sun in the tenth house will not become well-known. These people need respect because they consider their high social status essential. They have a noble character and they hate anything degrading, demoralizing or immoral.

18° Aries Sun 10h conjunct 10° Aries Mercury 9h: People with this aspect are subjective and creative; they can express their ideas well and they are often very artistic. This is a great aspect for artists who perform on stage. These people are intellectuals, but their thinking is very subjective and they can sometimes lack objectivity or the ability to see things from the outside. This shows that your temperament is unilateral, or almost unaffected by conflicts with the will of others. Your personality is basically integrated, but this does not mean you will have a trouble-free life. It merely indicates that you are reasonably satisfied with yourself and with the goals you hope to realize. You do not adapt to circumstances unless doing so will serve your best interests. Because you are highly motivated to achieve your objectives, success is more than likely. You waste very little effort in activities unless they will benefit you in some way. You know how to co-ordinate your available resources with your life pursuits, and always have the skills required to carry out any special task you choose.

No-one is allowed to interfere in your affairs; nor do you concern yourself with the affairs of others. You establish a barrier between yourself and others and do not permit anyone to intrude. You can become enormously successful in your own estimation, even if others can't judge your success. You don't measure your level of accomplishments by the same devices most people use when making comparisons. You can best succeed when you work alone or at least can determine for yourself how or when you do your work. In spite of your seeming self-assurance, you are not too successful in relating to people except at the social level. You are so afraid to have your emotions trampled that you keep personal contacts at arm's length. Your sensitive nature is your Achilles tendon, which you try to protect. You depend heavily on small quiet moments to give you the spiritual nourishment that your outer life feeds on. Irritated by the constant distractions and the hustle and bustle of competitive society, you must periodically rejuvenate your forces privately, perhaps in meditation.

18° Aries Sun 10h conjunct 11° Aries Venus 9h: This aspect highlights feminine characteristics of both sexes. It also supports artistic and creative inclinations. These people are often optimistic and they enjoy the company of other people. They have a good taste for fashionable clothes. This conjunction conveys an optimistic and cheerful spirit, where you will greatly enjoy social company and the pleasures of life, so that aesthetic and hedonistic activities are indulged to stimulate your sensual nature.

Love and social relationships are highlighted, and you will be attracted to participate in the social whirl, circulating around your collection of friends, family and acquaintances. You feel it important to be liked by others, and this need may make you act in certain ways which gain the approval of people, so care may be required to ensure that you do not overly compromise your own feelings and thoughts in order to remain socially acceptable.

There can be a dramatic quality to your style of self-presentation, perhaps emerging out of an artistic and creative sensitivity, and this will be employed to gain the attention of people; you prefer to leave your mark and need to feel recognized. While some may see you in a superficial light, this is not how you desire to be socially acknowledged. The recognition you are looking for is of your whole personality, your talents and qualities, and as you grow older you will prefer to enjoy the company of those who can appreciate you more fully. This may be through mutual interests in art, culture or the beauty of nature, because lying beneath any socialite veneer is your real appreciation of the harmony of life and nature which evokes that romantic and poetic spirit that inspires your perception of life and infuses a hidden desire for inner peace and integration. You enjoy quality in life and will try to create a pleasing home environment which allows relaxation into domestic comforts and pleasures. You will attract others to your potent magnetic personality, and you are likely to experience a variety of relationships as a consequence of your romantic attitudes. You open easily to demonstrations of love and affection, and your heart can quickly melt. As a lover of life, a certain intensity will be present, as will the tides of love's joys and pains, but never attempt to turn off your developed love nature, or you may find that life rapidly loses its luster and becomes grey, mundane and lifeless. Part of your role is to spread life-appreciation, enlivening others so that they too can become sincere lovers of life, and isn't that a task well worth pursuing? Some may find you 'too alive' or narcissistic, so you may need to be aware of others' reactions, and if they are correct in their evaluation of your self-centeredness then some modification may be advised, so that you equally acknowledge their natures, qualities and personalities too. In conversations, the art of listening is as important as the art of communication, and your enthusiasms may require occasional toning down. You can bring positive benefits to those who become intimately close, through sharing your vitality, love and affections, and even if your relationships do not persist, you hope that those involved with you do not regret the time that has been shared.

18° Aries Sun 10h trine 17° Sagittarius Uranus 5h: This harmonious aspect brings conventionality and independence. It also gives these people creative dynamics and independent creativity. They like to work on projects that benefit their society; they are idealistic, progressive, intuitive and original. They have the need to be different and they want to show their uniqueness. They want to be teachers, mentors and examples to others. The natural attunement with the 'Universal Mind' should help you to receive valid insights and intuitions, especially at times when the trine is reactivated by transit or progression movements, which offer opportunities for greater creativity and usable ideas. Such periods may also stimulate a heightened awareness of your solar path and purpose and should be carefully noted so that you can hold your mind in a meditative and receptive mode of operation, in order for insights and promptings to be consciously registered and then acted upon. You should find it relatively easy to exploit your creativity, as this aspect releases a large quantity of potentially productive ideas into those areas of life for which you require inspiration. Study the house positions and signs of both Sun and Uranus for areas that may be specifically influenced by this trine. Aided by perseverance and the application of a focused will, you should have no real obstacles confronting your efforts to manifest creative idea. These can take a myriad of forms, from experimentations aimed at developing new projects, to more adequate modifications of existing products. There is likely to be an inner detachment to your searches and creativity, a perpetual quest of enquiry and fascination, with a form of creativity which works through the creator and is never perceived in any egotistical perspective. Your reformist, idealistic and humanitarian tendencies can find success through communication and sharing with others, and this can be important to your sense of well-being, as you do need to feel that you are of some use to others.

18° Aries Sun 10h conjunct 23° Aries Lilith 10h: The position of the Sun conjunct Black Moon Lilith might numb your pain of feeling an outcast. Establishing a strong bond with roots and family becomes the prime focus of this placement. If someone tries to become a hurdle in your cause or creates misunderstandings, you react impulsively. No one can put your voice down when you are right. You do not hesitate to talk about your pains and pleasures. You must learn to follow the directions of intuition to reach your highest potential in personal and professional domains. The Sun Conjunct Lilith in your birth chart resonates with the themes of love, life, and relations. Your feelings encourage you to change yourself whenever and wherever necessary to achieve what you want in life. The Sun conjunct Black Moon Lilith is associated with a confident sense of right and wrong and steering yourself into righteous direction even if the majority thinks it is wrong. Those governing this aspect rebel against the status quo and believe in equality while empowering others.

The closeness of Lilith with the Sun makes it feel eclipsed and extends sensitivity to you. Despite the counter-cultural behaviour, your natural sexual instincts help you connect with nature and instil a desire to strengthen your bond with family. The conjunct makes you feel at home with your unique style and flamboyant personality.

The support of Lilith makes you open-minded & welcoming to transformations and ensuring your voice is heard and acknowledged. Becoming a poster child for community work is highly likeable for you.

Key themes associated with the Sun conjunct Lilith are remarkable talents and leadership skills, activism, enjoying creative imagination and sexuality and drawing attention towards solving critical issues.

16° Taurus Mars 10h: Mars in Taurus strengthens the practical side of your nature. You assert yourself in a persistent, determined and hard-working manner. Energy is channeled into worthwhile tasks that will produce practical and useful results. Primarily, these qualities are used to ensure financial security and a good life generally. On occasion you can be inflexible, stubborn and single-minded. The sex drive is strong and healthy, but it can turn jealous and possessive. Their sexual energy may be compared to "the vehicle driving at the lowest possible speed", the start is slow and it is difficult to stop, but it has an amazing towing power. Good lovemaking requires dominance and tasteful surrounding. People with Mars in Taurus do not like to waste time daydreaming. In other words, when they make plans, they are realistic and they will accomplish what they plan. People with Mars in Taurus are able to proceed steadily with their material goals in life, and use their patience and realistic approach to increase the value of their property or at least to secure a quiet place to live. Since they are determined to achieve stability they know that the secret lies in the fact that they themselves determine what stability is instead of blindly accepting the materialistic idea of society. This clearly indicates the need to change direction. Whenever they make changes, whether personal or professional, the change is irreversible.

With Mars in the Tenth House you are likely to exert your energy and initiative by actively pursuing fame and social status. Courage, ambition, energy, enterprise, force, emotional involvement, business acumen and a strong compulsive drive for success may lead to public achievement or professional recognition. You like to see practical results for your efforts and take pride in doing a job correctly. You may become a force to be reckoned with in career and professional life, however your argumentative, aggressive and quarrelsome nature may create difficulties on occasion. Patience, tolerance and a less-hasty attitude to events should be cultivated. Mars in the tenth house suggests people who want to improve their social status. Their energy is focused on career and they want to be successful. Mars in this position usually means interest in politics or the army. These people are often managers. They show initiative and they have the ability to achieve their goals. It is a powerful position that does not suggests a participatory attitude towards others unless it is mentioned in another part of the horoscope. Regardless of the influences of the other parts of the horoscope, they are usually people with leadership skills.

16° Taurus Mars 10h opposition 19° Scorpio Moon 4h: These people often suffer from emotional tension and they are ruthless and indecisive. They love conflicts at home and they know how to win them. They are bossy, they lead adventurous life and find it hard to conform and settle down. Inner tensions and unresolved issues are likely to be projected into social relationships, this creates difficult experiences and a scene for crisis’ or turning points. Your inner pressures are released within relationships, through arguments, dissension, provocation, and antagonism; you take advantage of even trivial issues to turn them into energy-filled confrontations and clashes.

This will obviously affect career prospects and domestic life; these rebellious feelings will always be stimulated by anyone imposing his or her will on you through authority, orders, or criticism. Anyone crossing this line and irritating your feelings is liable to be confronted by an extremely obstinate and stubborn character. Co-workers will soon lose patience with an emotionally erratic colleague, who can suddenly become aggressive when facing criticism or personal comment; people will learn to withdraw from contact if you behave in this way. You feel emotionally uncomfortable; others may find you hard to understand. You need to resolve the difficulty of instincts and emotions co-operating with an active and assertive Martian energy. Sometimes you may favor one of the planets, when this is temporarily Mars, you are liable to act impulsively, making sudden decisions which could be irrational, foolish, and lacking in forethought. Yet such actions may sometimes allow you to break free from restrictive situations. Expressing the lunar energy may encourage cautious self-protection, remaining with the status quo, and being afraid to move beyond familiar behavior patterns. The challenge is to unite both energies, honoring each as equally valid and necessary for a well-balanced personality. You hate others resisting your will and when this happens, you respond with a personal attack. Sometimes such an antagonistic stance may succeed; but eventually its costs far exceed those of other more moderate approaches. Yet your personality can appear attractive to many and there is certainly a validity that can intrigue some, even though it is often a distorted expression of the planetary energies. Choosing companions, both friends and lovers, is one area where weaknesses may appear, as you are often attracted to people who turn out to be unsuitable characters with equally volatile emotional difficulties. Intimate relationships may be limited to physical expression, or entered for material reasons, as you may repress the deeper emotional and subtler dimensions of interpersonal contact. Sustaining relationships is difficult as time passes and once initial attractions fade, relationships collapse; satiating superficial feelings is easier than dealing with your deeper needs; and you prefer to avoid these.

16° Taurus Mars 10h square 12° Aquarius Jupiter 7h: This aspect causes reckless and extreme reactions. These people are also relatively persistent in their activities and they often do not perceive the impact of their actions on their immediate surroundings. There are two developmental branches of this aspect- one leads to the desire for property, money and power, and the other focuses on idealistic movements and groups. In any case, this aspect also raises the desire for travel and adventure. With Mars Square Jupiter in your Natal Chart you will have an abundance of energy and enthusiasm that will take you some time to gain full control over. On the positive side, this aspect gives you the ability to move mountains or at least the belief that you can do so. You are greatly attracted towards adventure and exploration; this will give you the ability to explore many subjects and life experience.

On the Negative side, the Mars energy is amplified by the expansive effects of Jupiter however with the Square aspect this is normally too excessive. This brings about a large amount of impulsiveness, desires and being drawn more towards sensual pleasure. You need excitement, freedom and new experiences to keep you satisfied. You need to plan everything you do so that you do not waste any time. It is too easy for you to act impulsively, and it will take some time for you to overcome this obstacle.

You may also need to work on your attitudes towards others. You may be overly competitive and try to prove yourself as better or superior. You are not necessarily aggressive in your manner; you just need to reevaluate the way you come across with people you deal with.

16° Taurus Mars 10h conjunct 18° Taurus N Node 10h: The positive thing about this aspect is that it gives people vigour and determination that help them achieve their goals. They can fight with passion for what is important to them.

The negative side of this aspect is that it can cause great inner tension and frustration, because the fighting spirit and the desire to conquer can distract these people from the focal point if their life instead of pulling them towards it. There is a danger that they will create artificial image of their enemy as a result of suppressed aggression. The behaviour of these people is often inappropriate and their responses may be exaggerated. North Node conjunct Mars is a powerful aspect, providing a lot of physical strength, endurance, and ability. You are driven, ambitious and intensely involved in life. You have been endowed with the stamina to pursue adventures and get noticed the past they were perhaps busy doing for others and not given this chance.

You may not be content to wait for opportunities. You go out and make your own. No matter what line of work you take up, you will establish your identity and excel in their field. Mars is always first in line and often you make a name for yourself by being the first to accomplish a thing. Setting the pace, frequently having a huge influence on those following in the same footsteps or having similar interests. You can act brave, rugged, and tough. You are willing to venture out first and not afraid to act decisively and quickly in reaction to situations. You can make an excellent entrepreneur because you aren't afraid to pioneer into new territory.

19° Scorpio Moon 4h: Moon in Scorpio creates the need to delve into your feelings as deep as possible and this brings great vulnerability. You never forget anything that was done to you. It's hard to force you to do anything. The Moon in Scorpio gives you a firm, determined, positive, energetic, self-reliant and self-assured disposition - well able to stand alone and fight your own battles. This placing indicates strong emotional and sensual desires which at times could overpower your personality. You enjoy the company of the other sex and are fond of the good things of life. You can, on occasion, be abrupt and plain-spoken - avoid the tendency to be possessive, jealous, or to hold grudges with a view to revenge. You need to recover, accept and express our feelings and emotional needs, not just your sexual desires. You need to contact your own core, to posses yourself rather than others, and to learn how to constuctively channel your passion. Your temperament is well-suited to hard work, motivating others and just plain 'getting things done. The Moon in the fourth house means a strong connection with home - not only the house where people live, but also with home in a broader sense - with their country, traditions, nature etc. These people usually have the need to feel a connection with the past and they are interested in things like antiques or their family tree. They often remain under the strong influence of their parents. The Moon in the fourth house indicates that they want to distance themselves from the reality and they have subjectivist inclinations. These people may be insecure. Their nature needs stable and reliable roots.

19° Scorpio Moon 4h square 12° Aquarius Jupiter 7h: This aspect causes constantly increasing needs �� for emotions, care and comfort. These people are introverts who seek intense spiritual life. They are very dependent on external conditions and they need to find their purpose of life. The square indicates possible difficulty in uniting your sensitive feelings and emotions with your impulse to expand and manifest potential; the two sets of inner messages either conflict or fail to combine, reducing purpose and motivation. For example, you may possess creative ability, yet fail to demonstrate this tangibly due to not making sufficient effort to develop latent talents. Intimate and social relationships may be erratic at times, as you can fluctuate between extroverted moods and introspection, depending on the relative strengths of either Jupiter or Moon. With an independent spirit, you may often feel you do not need much social contact, and so friendships may become characterized by infrequent contact, indifference, and fickleness at times. You will do your own thing, either with complete enthusiasm and temporary commitment, or by slipping into apathetic disinterest. These fluctuating tendencies can be changed if you choose to do so.

19° Scorpio Moon 4h conjunct 27° Scorpio Saturn 5h: This conjunction gives people stability and honesty, even in difficult situations. However, these people do not trust their feelings much and they may seem cold and reserved. They tend to have emotional problems and they look for older partners. Their feelings are stable, but they find it hard to express them. The Saturn-Moon combination is not a particularly harmonious one; and in these contacts the individual lunar nature is often detrimentally affected. You can display a sober, self-restrained, conservative personality.

Your social relationships can lack spontaneity, enthusiasm, and naturalness, inhibited by emotional defensiveness, reserve, and caution. Self-esteem is weakened by such attitudes, which fall like a shadow across your relationships and experiences. One source of this may have been childhood and early social conditioning. Emotional integration can be lacking; it is part of your nature that remains uncomfortable and relatively immature, and which will interfere with adult relationships that may prove difficult to develop beyond the early stages. A lack of self-confidence, and reluctance to reveal your vulnerable feelings to others, make you withdraw into negative behavior patterns whenever the possibility of a close relationship occurs.

Liberation from the past's chains will bring relief and release; it may not be easy yet could provide the keys to a bright new future. You may be surprised at how much past experience and conditioning have shaped your adult personality; looking for ways to heal and integrate your inner child would be extremely beneficial and transformative.

19° Scorpio Moon 4h opposition 18° Taurus N Node 10h: Desires of the Moon and its demands on emotional safety and affection are in opposition with the position of the lunar node and with life tasks associated with it. These people are hesitant, irritated and dissatisfied all their lives. The emotions undergo difficult spells, especially you have trouble expressing your sensitive side, causing others to see you as cold or more standoffish offish than they really are.

Getting the support of others does not come easily, you may feel alone, forced to rely on themselves. Losing loved ones is extremely hard on them. The mind is of an unusual nature and the thought processes are different. There are anxieties verging on paranoia or causing crippling fears. You may not be comfortable dealing with crowds. Memories of difficult experiences working with the public from previous incarnations may inhibit your expression and evolution You are working on strengthening and balancing the emotions, stabilizing the mind, and handling the impressions coming in. If the impressions get away from them, there can be a fascination with occult practices of an unhealthy sort. In some cases, the South Node influence destroys the sensitivity of the Moon, bringing out a cruel and hurtful personality. There is a tendency to feel alienated by others’ lack of cooperation and support, and you may feel that you have bad timing. As a result, you isolate yourself further as a defense mechanism and create a perpetual cycle where you feel lonely and negative all the time. You must learn to stop being so defensive and develop a backbone. Learn to be more malleable in adverse situations. Not everyone is out to get you or take advantage of your vulnerability.

11° Aries Venus 9h: Venus in Aries indicates an impulsive, passionate, extrovert and bold romantic nature. There is a need for constant variety in both your romantic and social lives. You make friends easily and are fond of love and admiration. You make an enthusiastic, lively friend and an energetic colleague. Very easily influenced by the attraction of the opposite sex, your refined appearance slips on occasion to reveal a very sensuous nature. An early marriage is probable. You can be a bit of a show-off, enjoy fine clothes, ornaments and all forms of luxury, and you are inclined at times to extravagance, having an 'easy come - easy go' attitude towards money. Avoid coarseness and childish tantrums. These people are impishly immoral. They are shameless in the way they blatantly pursue the object of their desire. They are very impulsive and impatient in everything related to love and relationships. The more cultured parts of their personality can try to suppress it, but there is something wild in their way of loving, something that can never be completely suppressed by so-called civilised behaviour. Venus in Aries adds passion to feelings because its influence is mixed with the passion of Mars, which rules this sign. These people are not afraid to show their feelings and they do so with passion, and this makes them usually popular with the other sex. They may marry in a rush. However, this kind of love cannot last long. The fire of passion finally burns love, and marriages that are the result of this love are the sources of family misfortune. Venus in Aries also tempts these people to spend more money than they can afford. When it comes to love, they always lose their head. They throw themselves into a love affair and they are convinced that this is the only true love between two people in the entire world, well, maybe with one exception: Romeo and Juliet. When their love ends, they pick up the pieces and try to save the dead relationship in all possible ways. If it fails, they start again and it will be the same as the first time. Regardless of the number of mistakes they make in their love life they are sure that the true love is within reach. Venus in the ninth house is related to higher education, travel and philosophical thinking. These people enjoy learning, religion or art. They are intuitive people with fine taste. They long for beautiful things. Venus in this house suggests pleasant trips, expeditions and perhaps even longer journeys that create opportunities for important social contacts and romantic encounters. These people will probably have close contacts with foreigners or people coming from different environments. The areas of life where you are most likely to express your social, romantic and artistic qualities are through a love of philosophy, study, intellectual interests, traveling abroad for pleasure, religion and art. A wise, relaxed and pleasantly philosophical attitude towards life is very apparent, and you may dream of living in an idealistic world that is beautiful and peaceful.

11° Aries Venus 9h conjunct 10° Aries Mercury 9h: This conjunction gives people good manners and mental balance. They can express themselves well and they are convincing. Their views are also well-balanced. Their thinking is often so rational that they are not able to express their feelings too openly. You are charming and gracious, poetic in your self-expression, and usually very polite. This position brings refinement to the nature and an appreciation for the arts. You aim to balance and bring harmony to your world.

You can be, at times, quite indecisive, as you tend to see everyone's point of view, and can see value in almost any perspective or opinion. You have a strong sense of fairness. You are very agreeable and enjoy socializing. Some with this aspect are a little on the lazy side, preferring to socialize than work. You might intellectualize or rationalize your feelings, perhaps thinking a little too much about love and relationship to the point that you lose touch with how you truly feel. You might be attracted to, or attract, intellectual sorts as partners. If this conjunction is challenged, you might frequently attract partners who are tricky or conniving.

11° Aries Venus 9h sextile 12° Aquarius Jupiter 7h: People with this harmonious aspect are kind and cordial. They easily adapt to new social trends and demands, and they like fashion. This aspect brings hospitality and generosity. It is also useful in case of legal disputes. With Venus Sextile your Natal Jupiter you expect trustworthiness and genuineness from anybody with whom you have more than an easy-going relationship. You have an easy smile, a warm and responsive sense of humor, and a rather easy-going manner when they’re feeling comfortable. Although they are unlikely to seek out people to help, they’re quite quick to lend a helping hand if the need arises. Travel, social exercises, music, workmanship, and theater are a portion of the numerous premiums that enhance you and give you joy. You appreciate these interests as an observer, as well as partake in them when you can. You expect to grow in their social and personal relationships. Stagnation makes little if any sense and your appreciation for the good things in life is evident but not excessive. For you, a love affair is an opportunity to grow, to learn, to change in a positive way. Even your relationships that have ended were a welcome learning experience for you. You understand that the more you love, the more love comes into your life; that's an important equation, and one that many people seem to miss out on. You can be lazy if you’re not motivated enough and are a loyal person in love and friendship. You really want the good life with an agreeable environment, a sumptuously outfitted home, great companions, and a lot of social action. It is good to utilize your creative talents as much as possible even if it is not for your career, it can expand your personality and depth.

11° Aries Venus 9h trine 17° Sagittarius Uranus 5h: People with this harmonious aspect require constant change and initiative from their friends. They are emotionally independent and they do not usually seek long-term relationships. They start their relationships easily but their relationships are usually not long-lasting. The expression of the trine has several similarities to that of the sextile, and usually enables these two planetary energies to work well together. The social sphere of life will be of considerable importance to you, both as a personal need for contact with others, and in the enjoyment that you derive from it. Whilst you develop your own individuality and style, you have a 'community attitude'; your ideal is to live in a way that both succeeds in satisfying your needs and has a beneficial effect upon the wider world. The ability to have positive relationships with people may be used through work which brings you into broader contact with the public. This can be through teaching or communication in some way. Possibly your talents can be expressed via artistic creations or music, which embody your Venusian sense of harmony and beauty. In your intimate partnerships, you find it easy to express your feelings, and these will remain more consistent than with the conjunction aspect. With these Venus-Uranus aspects, though, there is the tendency to be affectionate and sympathetic with the majority of people, a form of diffused love which is universal rather than individually orientated. This can cause some unease and confusion within a partner who fails to be convinced of your specific love for him or her.

10° Aries Mercury 9h: Gives a decisive, quick-witted, observant, sharp, original, inventive and competitive mind - well-able to originate ideas and put them into practice. Your talent for writing, speaking and debate enables you to influence others and promote your own ideas. At times you can be sarcastic, over-enthusiastic, excitable and given to exaggeration. People with Mercury in Aries do everything quickly and they sometimes say things without thinking. Their enthusiasm may be quickly replaced with an interest in a new thing or another exciting experience. It may seem to other people that there is a fire behind them that is forcing them to act fast. Mercury affects fiery signs by creating lively imps who are interested in anything that attracts their attention. Their mind is active and wants thoughts and words to become deeds. However, it is important to accept not only mental stimulation but also challenges, and acknowledge that it takes some time before an idea or goal can be realised. Mercury in the ninth house creates a connection with higher education. It indicates interest in philosophy, law, publishing, religion or other areas of knowledge. These people are imaginative; they have an insight into various disciplines and express themselves with authority. They are often talented teachers or writers. They like to travel, they are interested in other countries and they learn foreign languages easily. Your mental and communicative abilities will largely be applied to the expansion of the intellect through foreign travel, philosophy, higher education and other profound studies. Your mental disposition is well-suited to positions of authority; likely occupations could include law, religion, science, medicine, teaching, literature and philosophy. You may have a deep desire to reach a position of intellectual superiority in your chosen field.

10° Aries Mercury 9h sextile 12° Aquarius Jupiter 7h: This harmonious aspect brings optimism, kindness and openness. These people are often great philosophers. However, they like to satisfy their mental interests even if they do not have the money for it. They like to travel and they do not stay long in one place. With Mercury Sextile your Jupiter your mind is very tolerant towards others and you have to ability to comprehend many topics but may be overly contemplative. This aspect is good if you are involved in higher education, religion, philosophy. You are a good communicator and can project your ideas with ease and confidence and have others accept them. You have good judgment, keen powers of observation, above average intelligence and integrity and you naturally consider the moral and ethical implications of your thoughts and actions. Your mind is active but often unoriginal. You can tend to lack ambition or persistence and can be stubborn and usually avoid controversy. But your good nature, mild-temper and generous attitude can make you well liked among friends and colleges. You enjoy entertaining in your home and want it to be conducive to social harmony and intellectual pursuits. You usually have a large personal library. You're generally fond of travel, both physical and mental. You exemplify the principle of positive thinking and your mental optimism helps you to succeed. You could make a good teacher with your sincere love of learning and sharing ideas with others. You are also very positive in your communications, readily inspiring others with what you say and how you say it. You are skilled at turning information into an advantage, and in some ways seem to be quite lucky. You have a lot of ability for organizing and planning enterprises and Travel is something that you are strongly attracted to. You may be attracted to learning other languages and learning about foreign cultures.

10° Aries Mercury 9h trine 17° Sagittarius Uranus 5h: This harmonious aspect is very inspirational and it gives these people the ability to discover and invent new things. These people like new technologies. They often need to exchanges ideas and opinions with others. They are curious, intelligent and creative. They have novel way of thinking and they like to argue about opinions. with creative imagination, you should be able to channel this toward building new enterprises and businesses; you have adequate energy and enthusiasm to do so, linked with commitment for personal success. Your attraction toward the new is likely to be for 'group benefit' rather than toward fulfilling private needs and desires. Your vision will have a futuristic attitude and perspective. Here, the Uranian influence will shine through more strongly. If Uranus remains a dominant planetary influence, your domestic and personal life may appear unconventional and unusual to some, although it will probably seem perfectly natural to you. There can be inner fears that tradition and predictable behavior patterns could become life-destroying, limiting freedom and exploration, especially when your 'Uranus needs' conflict with lunar needs. While you may not feel committed to open opposition, you certainly will not feel any obligation to surrender power to tradition by assuming a submissive attitude.

Some kinds of authority you can respect; but your attitudes will be rebellious, and you will be scathing in your denunciation whenever you believe that abuses of power are occurring. Using this energy effectively will depend on discovering suitable channels of expression. You may need to create these or could ally with others in a communal future-orientated venture. This sense or intuition of inter-relatedness acts as a guide and is very important in your life.

10° Aries Mercury 9h square 3° Capricorn Neptune 6h: This aspect considerably complicates practical life. Eccentric artists and spiritual explorers sometimes have this aspect in their horoscope. These people change their opinions often and unexpectedly. When they get in trouble they do not hesitate to use lies or deceive themselves or others. These people do not express themselves very well and they tend to be dreamers. In order to grow they need to have creative people around them. They often close themselves in their own fantasy word and they do not have a very good short-term memory. They are aware of their special abilities but they are not always able to use them. Depending on other aspects, other people may take advantage of them. Others may find it hard to deal with their chaotic thinking and lack of order. This aspect indicates a difficulty with an overactive imagination interfering with rational and logical processes of thought; this can result in self-deception and the construction of a private version of truth and reality. There can be a preference for mental avoidance and for escaping from directly confronting aspects of life that you find unpleasant, such as personal truths and social problems. Sometimes your logic is very circuitous, too personal or abstracted for easy communication to either yourself or others, and, as it often absorbs an imaginative influence, it can veil the truth from sight. You can shy away from accepting responsibilities, domestic, family and marriage ones especially, as you can feel uneasy with your emotions, and this results in you often becoming unreliable with others. Whilst you may often have insight into the motivations of others, you need greater clarity in your own nature. Relationships may remain problematical for you until some degree of personal change has been achieved, and you may be advised to be cautious within your emotional commitments. This is basically because of elements of illusion that can afflict you, and that tendency to avoid facing facts that you do not want to see, such as the fundamental that a relationship is not mutually satisfying if you need it to continue. Those dreams of the ideal lover and partner will be present, and it is always difficult not to project these onto others or use them as comparison markers. Some may take emotional advantage of you, and you may experience that victim syndrome of the Neptunian vibration by falling prey to your own tendencies and the selfish desires of others. Yet as you change, your potential for better and more fulfilling relationships increases as clarity intensifies. As always, the decision to change is yours to take.

12° Aquarius Jupiter 7h: Jupiter in Aquarius raises the question of how this world should be like. So these people want to perceive life as democratically and openly as possible. They feel that in order to make plans for the future there needs to be some form of consensus of opinion. They have to make the first steps with their belief on their own, only then they can offer it to others. And then, by mixing the beliefs of other people, they will develop a system of belief that suits the goals and purpose of the whole group. Their idea is that if they continue like this step-by-step, all mankind will eventually share a common ideology. They see God as a world religion. Jupiter in Aquarius gives you the opportunity to develop an independent, self-willed, tolerant, humanitarian, broad-minded, optimistic, inventive, democratic and original nature. There is an innate desire to penetrate the deeper subjects of life such as social science, new technology, philosophy, religion, astrology, metaphysics and occult wisdom. These qualities are necessary in order to expand your personality and life experience. Social life is extremely important and you will tend to associate with friends that are seeking to pioneer some new, noble way of life for humanity. You come to understand that any form of social reform should be in line with humanitarian and moral principles. Jupiter in the seventh house suggests that this planet will bring happiness in marriage or partnership. These people are friendly, charitable and fair. Their success will be at least partly the result of their good judgment in choosing a good partner and developing a successful relationship. Other negative aspects of the horoscope may affect this area and cause too much optimism about personal relationships and marriage. With Jupiter in the Seventh House you will find luck, ease of working and general good fortune coming through a good marriage and other social or business partnerships. There is likely to be success, gain and happiness through a loyal and faithful marriage partner. Your spouse will probably be of good social and financial standing, possibly older, more patient, profound or religious than yourself. Success in promised through partnerships and your ability to co-operate well with others generally. Gain through litigation or legal affairs may be a feature.

12° Aquarius Jupiter 7h square 18° Taurus N Node 10h: The positive thing about this aspect is that these people are confident in their abilities and this helps them overcome challenges in life. Their life challenges are often connected with profound sensory experience and it gives people luck on their life journey. The negative side of this aspect is that there is no harmony between the meaning of life and searching for its focal point. There may be strong internal dissatisfaction and excessive, unrealistic expectations. These people usually want more from life then they can get and they push everything negative out. Some people within astrology consider squares to the lunar nodes as ‘skipped steps’ lessons you struggled to complete in a past life and are now forced to address in this life with heavier karmic debt. With nodal squares, there can be these frustrating or even painful repeated themes that are continuously brought up in your life, to nudge you to fulfill your karmic lessons in this life since you failed to do so in the past (South Node). North Node square Jupiter is a philosophical aspect. Jupiter rules philosophy, law, and religious study, so you may enter this life with experience and knowledge that has contributed to your beliefs. You have some very definite views and now feel a responsibility to pass along what you have learned. You may use your wisdom to contribute to the social morals in a positive way or negatively, you might be narrow or forceful in your views. Your ambitions and ideals are noble and grand but be aware of a tendency to lose yourself in the big picture.

12° Aquarius Jupiter 7h trine 5° Gemini Chiron 11h: You are likely to be benevolent because of your own hardships. When you face a loss, you don’t become stingy or resentful, rather you open up your heart and become more giving and charitable. You are compassionate and confident and may have had to find your own way through hardships and conflicts, perceiving or facing insufficiencies of positive role models at times you needed them. This doesn’t interfere with your success, in fact, you may be more successful because you learned your strengths and full potential without anyone holding you back with seemingly ‘good’ advice. You may feel lucky to get away from major wounds or crises relatively unscathed and find the resources you need to succeed regardless of limitations.

27° Scorpio Saturn 5h: People with Saturn in Scorpio cannot be described as insignificant. If they try to object or they decide to keep their distance, it will have a retroactive effect and they will get the reputation of a smart cookie. It's an ambitious position for Saturn because this planet, just like Scorpio, likes to control others. This position hides the instinct to kill, and it can manifest in a ruthless and intriguing way. Saturn tells us about what we need to learn in life (and what we are the least confident in) and what we can possibly master. Scorpio indicates power, influence, sex and death. Its authority definitely comes from the depth; superficial motivation and civilisation approach have no chance. Saturn in Scorpio indicates business. The ability to understand things and other abilities these people have should not be forgotten or be only used for its effect. It is a powerful position that gives people occult talent, perseverance and foresight. These people usually live until old age. Your Saturn placement is deeply wrapped up in the deep, the dark and the hidden. What people are not supposed to talk about or are afraid to talk about: sexuality, intimacy, taxes, other people’s money, death, trauma, crisis, the occult… And fears or lessons around all of these uncomfortable things that we all face and deal with.

Finding self-mastery within a crisis is what it’s all about ~ feeling steady in the eye of the storm, rather than running from it or getting swept up into it. When it comes to intimacy, vulnerability and sexuality, there are a few ways that this can manifest for you. The first way that we see a lot is in cutting yourself off from the emotional aspects of sexuality and perhaps going the more promiscuous route, connecting with people in a very superficial and surface way out of fear of making a deeper, more profound emotional connection with someone. Another way that this can show up is in the way of being excessively puritanical, obsessed with sexual cleanliness and not endeavoring upon any intimacy at all. Both of these responses can be a reaction to trauma, and are ultimately keeping you from getting close to others. When you finally do drop into emotional intimacy and you traverse that discomfort, you can find a lot of healing and fulfillment within partnership.

Saturn in the fifth house refers to the romantic aspect of the person´s character, creativity and perception. This planet of limitations and discipline suggests people that find it hard to relax and have fun. Love is a serious matter for them because it can bring more pain than joy. Their partner will probably be somewhat older and love will bring them responsibility. Education of their children will be difficult and they should invest their money carefully. They will put their skills in use in the business world or in politics. They will find it hard to express themselves with their creative talent - maybe when they get older. The creative process is definitely an interesting one because it can either consume you, taking you with it, or it can feel a bit awkward, especially if anyone is watching. You may not have an easy time showing people your creations, or you may be hyper-critical of them and put too much weight on them, as if showing them to anyone should be taken as seriously as a recital at Carnegie Mellon. Connecting with the divine inner child or perhaps even rebellious teenager within you that simply doesn’t care about the outer world’s opinion or approval is one of the best practices you can endeavor upon. Romantic relationships are another space where your Saturn placement really shows itself. There are several manifestations that can stem from this… from pushing love away altogether, to finding yourself grasping for a love that you haven’t felt or received with nothing really adding up to the ideal. It’s also possible to confuse love with attachment, obligation, duty, loyalty… and hold onto relationships long after their expiration date as a result of that. You may have difficulty expressing the love that you feel for others.

27° Scorpio Saturn 5h opposition 18° Taurus N Node 10h: The positive thing about this aspect is that these people are focused on overcoming challenges in their life. They are consistent, aware of their responsibilities, and they walks tirelessly along their life path. They have high standards for themselves and they set ambitious goals. They are able to overcome their limits.

The negative side of this aspect is that it also gives people pessimism or even hopelessness about overcoming challenges in their life. They live lives full of obstacles and they are afraid to cross the threshold in order to become themselves. They often believe that their responsibilities stop them from reaching their soul. They often fall back into their old patterns. They frequently overload themselves.

27° Scorpio Saturn 5h opposition 5° Gemini Chiron 11h: Individuals with this configuration in their natal chart may act like a “rock” for those who are vulnerable, physically or psychologically wounded, or somehow unfitting into what is sanctioned as “normal” or “healthy.” However, this focus on the other is bound to polarize the individual from her own vulnerability, thus keeping her comfortably unaware of her own wounds or problems regarding the notions of reliance, trustworthiness, protection, or patronage.

With this configuration in the natal chart, the consciousness formed based on conditioning (Saturn) may indeed disown that which is awkward or embarrassing (Chiron) rather than accepting it and letting it get integrated into the conscious realm of the human experience. In this case, one may consciously perceive herself as invulnerable and others as wounded or problematic, or one may alternatively feel attracted to Chironic themes, either theoretically (healing and wounding process as a topic) or practically (working with people as a healer or facilitator).

17° Sagittarius Uranus 5h: People with Uranus in Sagittarius strive for spiritual progress and intellectual growth. They often have revolutionary thoughts. They see other races as equals and they often fight against xenophobia. They love flying and they consider expeditions to space very exciting. They bring new directions to philosophy. They are optimistic and they tend to make unexpected and unplanned journeys to other countries. You, and most of your peers, have the tendency to think that all ideas, customs and traditions from the past are outmoded and irrelevant. You are attracted to radically new ideas, philosophies and religions that will, hopefully, cause sweeping changes throughout the world. Uranus in the fifth house brings turbulence and changes to the house of love, personal creativity and children. These people are usually inventive and creative, but they may suffer from a lack of discipline. They may be careless or ruthless, and their ideas may cost them dearly. They usually long for freedom and independence. These attitudes will be passed on to their children. These people need good governance since they are little otherwise they will get into trouble. They’re usually not very conventional personal relationships are established quickly and they often end just as abruptly. You are likely to seek individual freedom of expression through inventive and creative activity, unusual pleasures or an unconventional love life. There is a liking for odd, new or daring pleasures, or unusual places of amusement.

17° Sagittarius Uranus 5h trine 23° Aries Lilith 10h: You easily express your individualistic and even shocking nature without having much regard for what others think of you. This makes it easy for you to express your unique perspective and assert your independence. You can also be a rebel when it comes to your sexual interests but your passion and freethinking ways inspire others. You have a gift for making even the most dramatic and shocking situations into opportunities for personal growth and advancement. No matter how unpredictable a situation is, you find a way to reclaim your power through dramatic changes.

3° Capricorn Neptune 6h: Neptune in Capricorn gives people determination and the ability to concentrate. However, it can ruin their typical Capricorn rationality. This position somewhat shatters their natural desire for perfection, but it gives people desire to achieve spiritual goals. This generation should represent quite a reaction against the previous one. These children will probably idealize work, thrift, practicality and duty rather than the abstract spiritual ideals of the preceding generation. Neptune in the sixth house suggests a connection with the work environment, the need to provide services and also with health. These people may have the spiritual urge to help others. They may have illusions about their job and have somewhat grandiose attitude towards their job. They often have difficulties fulfilling their everyday duties and with small things. They are not good organizers and they are not very practical. They have to pay attention to their health. Neptune in the Sixth House may indicate that your imaginative and spiritual potential will manifest through work, service and self-sacrifice - possibly in seclusion. Diet and health matters are stressed - neglect could lead to severe sickness that is difficult to diagnose and treat. You may become interested in spiritual healing, health foods and natural cures. On occasion, an impracticable and unrealistic approach to work may bring problems.

3° Capricorn Neptune 6h sextile 3° Scorpio Pluto 4h: This harmonious aspect is long-lasting and it affects peace-making attitudes. In connection with other aspects it can further enhance peace-building and transformative actions on global scale. Whether it’s science or mysticism, there is an attempt to understand the nature and composition of the universe.

3° Scorpio Pluto 4h: People with Pluto in Scorpio have a passionate desire for mystery. They like to use intrigues and they have a great disposition for personal transformation that can happen especially through their desires. They are prolific, universal and capable. They radiate occult powers. Their sexuality is also transforming for them, but at the same time they can feel restricted by it. Pluto in the fourth house creates tension at home. These people will have the tendency to be domineering towards their friends and relatives. In such a home environment there may be a struggle for power among family members. These people have a strong bond with their home or country. In some cases, they will be interested in science or jobs that deal with their country or the world. Opportunities for transforming or regenerating yourself may come through experiences associated with the home and family environment. A danger of this placing is a tendency to dominate and coerce - this could alienate others against you and create a power struggle with family members. There may be some mystery or secret relating to home activities and this is strictly confined to the family circle. Pluto being in the fourth house can also indicate exposure to the darker parts of life during childhood.

23° Aries Lilith 10h: Blind force, a brutal indulgence in challenges that are often devastating. Lilith in this position emphasizes spontaneity and impulsivity of Aries. These people are active and difficult to control. They want to conquer or create something ideal, replace something old with something new, and break or overcome old standards. They possess the ability to self-develop and act and they are able to think and create in their own way. Beware of head injuries, cuts, scars and violence. This placement impacts your public standing. If you were born with Black Moon Lilith in your 10th House, you may possess a hunger for success and stature, which may not always have been well received by your parents, elders, or peers. In your reputation or career, you may be viewed as unconventional or disruptive, and face scrutiny from conservative social or professional structures. Similarly, you may also attract judgement and gossip, especially from those jealous of your presence and power, regardless of your behavior. However, your conduct may be transgressive as well. Commanding forceful control over your work, you may clash with bosses and authorities, and struggle to fairly collaborate through teamwork.

5° Gemini Chiron 11h: Without success, these people keep trying to explain to other what they wanted to say, what they said and what they meant by it. They either believe that nobody listens to them, or that no matter how hard they try, others cannot understand them or do not want to understand them. The more they try to correct this misunderstanding, the more this sense of misunderstanding that they can never overcome hurts them. You may have problems to communicate and make yourself heard or feel unable to communicate clearly with others or fit in socially. Recognise and embrace your intelligence in whatever form it takes. You may have mediumistic or prophetic gifts, or express yourself better through non-verbal means of communication such as art or music. You can also express emotions and feelings clearly in words, and may be able to give expression to other dimensions of reality. When you have Chiron in your 11th house it signals a crisis over the possibility of playing a unique role in culture. The eleventh house is the place of opportunity for each one of us to give our creative gift during our lifetime. Chiron in the eleventh stimulates Uranus to create an outlet for our unique individuality. To understand detachment and letting go.You may feel like an alien when in groups of people. You can be shy while being around others, and unable to express his thoughts and feelings. You may have a subconscious fear of not being accepted or even ridiculed. You may have issues with your sense of individuality and group participation. You may avoid expressing original ideas due to fear of not being accepted or misunderstood by others or are prone to stereotyped thinking or being enslaved by the thinking of a group. You may also be critical of society and may reject it through acts of rebellion and destructiveness. Trauma caused by inability to implement Utopian visions, the impossibility of carrying out reforms in society and building the ideal society. Disappointment in friends that often does not cease to hurt even in old age, and from time to time this wound reopens.

18° Taurus N Node 10h: North Node in Taurus brings the conflict between keeping everything on the one hand, and wanting to leave everything outdated and unnecessary behind on the other. These people need to learn to trust and they have to accept the need for proximity, confidentiality and physical contact. They need to recognize their own value, feel their own importance, and like themselves for who they are. They should develop everything that promises security: material security, inner security and self-confidence. They should beware of abusing their power.

North Node in the tenth house brings the conflict between personal life, public career and spiritual self-awareness. These people need to learn to get out of their fragile shells. They need to grow up, develop discipline, consistency and be more outspoken. They should get rid of emotional addictions and learn not to emphasize their own needs. Beware of emotional dependence and being in the position of a hurt child who is looking for the culprits of his failures. Beware of clinging to affection and protection instead of finding the courage to acknowledge the harsh reality. A tendency to define our own worth and values in terms of our significant others, to be wrapped up in the needs of others at the expense of our own needs, and to attract confusing and intense life situations at the expense of comfort and peace are some of the issues this position suggests.

With this position, we need to discover our own values, to depend on ourselves and to establish our self-worth through our own efforts, and to enjoy life's more serene moments without the unconscious need to create crises. We may invest too much time and energy into supporting others at the expense of our own comfort and needs. We cannot develop our self-worth through others alone?it needs to come from within. Learning to define our goals based on our own values, and then to work toward achieving them in a patient manner, will help us achieve more happiness and inner balance. There is a tendency to be overly attached to our childhood and past, to be dependent on others and avoid accepting responsibility for our lives, to fear rejection to an extreme thereby missing opportunities, and to be overly focused on emotional problems are some of the issues this position suggests. With this position, we need to take charge of our lives and accept responsibility for our actions. We may too easily blame our past or focus on our insecurities and emotional difficulties instead of moving forward and learning to depend on ourselves.

We want to feel secure more than anything, but security can only come once we let go of our dependencies and carve out a life that reflects a true feeling of responsibility to ourselves as well as to others. We are more aware of our emotions than most people, but in order to grow, we must learn to strike a balance between sensitivity and responsibility. We cannot use our sensitivity as a crutch, although we may spend the first half of our life trying to do so! Recognition will come, at some point in our journey, that clinging to the comforts of childhood will in fact hold us back from achieving a comfortable future! By defining solid goals and a mature direction in our lives, as well as letting go of some of our over-attachment to our childhood, we will be able to achieve the financial and emotional security that we so crave.

Next we have chart patterns: Bruce has an Aries Stellium, a T-Square, and 2 Yods

The Aries stellium suggests a warriors personality, Bruce obviously is very courageous and driven like an Aries and his MC, Sun, Venus, and Mercury are a part of it meaning his impassioned and driven mars like nature is expressed through his basic personality, his career, his relationships/approach to love/material possessions, and his communication skills/intellect/organizational habits.

A T-Square is when you have two planets opposing each other and a third planet that is square to both of them. The two planets opposing each other will kind of divert their energy towards the tip of the triangle and create a point of tension. At first this is a very challenging pattern however learning the lesson it’s trying to teach will make these people very powerful. The way out of a T-Square is usually through developing the opposite of the focal point. In this case Bruce’s 10h Taurus Mars (his steady, patient, realistic and determined approach to public image and his career) is in opposition to his 4h Scorpio Moon (deep, intense emotions and secretive tendencies centered around the home/family) and the energy of these two planets are being pushed towards 7h Aquarius Jupiter (focused on an idealistic sense of community/philosophy/society and the expansion of relationships) this makes sense because where these two sides of his life combine or cause problems the most is within the justice league but also within his own philosophy and moral code. The only way out would be through developing 1st house Leo (developing a sense of confident unified identity and self love, as well as self expression)

Next you’ve got the Yods. Yods are also referred to as the “finger of god” and refers to when there is a sextile between two planets and then those two planets are quincunx a third planet. The finger of god points towards a problem that needs solving in life. The two sextile planets at the base get along but the planet that is quincunx pushes the two of them to address an issue stemming from the quincunx planet. In this case Bruce has his Leo Rising and 11h Gemini Chiron quincunx (an aspect that could provide a strong base for healing his sense of self so long as he stops ignoring past trauma and learns to express himself better) his 6h Capricorn Neptune. The issue then is uncertainty in his ability to make his ideal a reality, issues with communication (a recurring theme in his chart) and a tendency to put himself down and have a somewhat fragmented ego or imbalanced sense of self. There may also be a sense of perfectionism in his ideal world that is simply impossible to make a reality.

Yod #2 is between 6h Capricorn Neptune and 4h Scorpio Pluto pointed at 11h Gemini Chiron. While his dark past and sense of duty get along with each other and consolidate his powerful connection to his past and family as well as his sense of duty to his cause, they are both quincunx Chiron. This causes his Pluto and sense of authority/power to feel challenged or undermined by the wound his Chiron represents (inability to utilize utopian visions, feeling misunderstood, not communicating very well or in his case to bluntly or aggressively (Aries Mercury)) and his Neptune represents a struggle against the emotions Chiron causes and a tendency to either avoid or overcompensate for those issues.

#bruce wayne #batman #dc comics #astrology #birth chart #batfam #batfam astrology #birth chart breakdown #this is so long #I tried to make it as easy to read as I could #sorry

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hongism · 3 years

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04 - s.mingi + degradation (18+)

» s.mingi x gn!reader » 18+ dni if minor » language, explicit smut, cock caging, degradation, praise, ruined orgasms, overstimulation, manual stimulation, anal fingering, use of sex toys/dildos, use of a riding crop, oral sex: m receiving (but not really), some impact play/cock slapping, use of gendered slurs (directed at mingi), dacryphilia, subspace, dominant reader, submissive mingi » wc 2.7k » link to masterlist

today you have mingi on his knees, skin pressing into the pale carpet in a way that looks more comfortable than it really is. it’s deceptively innocent, even without an ounce of clothing on his body and feet tucked under his ass like he’s trying to seem smaller than he actually is. it won’t work in his favor; such behavior never does when he’s already gone this far.

instead, it earns him a light smack over the top of his thigh with the riding crop in your hand, and the impact draws a whimper from his full lips seconds later. a slight bit of saliva trickles out the corner of his mouth, enough to catch on his chin and stop there before falling further. the visual is intoxicating in a lot of ways, things you don’t like to admit outside the bedroom out of fear of ruining the pretty, picture-perfect innocence you seem to bear there. some part of your brain does wonder what those people would think seeing you dominate mingi in this way when they always assume him to hold that position in your relationship.

on his knees, drooling and whimpering with a solid metal cage around his big useless cock, and you over him with a smile on your lips.

it’s intoxicating.

“you enjoy this, don’t you?” you inquire. the edge to your tone feigns true curiosity but your gaze says otherwise, something borderline sadistic to the way you look down at the man on his knees. “must be so hard having such a nice big cock only to have it locked up right now.”

the riding crop pushes under his chin. you raise his head to look more clearly at his face slowly, admiring the glisten on his brow and in his eyes. something twists in your brain.

you want to see him cry.

“i asked you a question, baby boy.”

mingi’s thighs twitch at that nickname, a blatant cue to how much he enjoys it, and his watery gaze flits up to look you in the eye.

“there’s my pretty baby, looking all good and needy for me,” you coo. there’s a faux innocence in your words, lacing some easy praise in to heighten the blow you’re about to deliver. “what a pathetic slut.”

if he could crumple to the floor, you don’t doubt that he would do so now, but he has enough sense to stay put despite how the words send a shudder through his spine. he tucks his hands further under his legs, pressing between where his calves and thighs squeeze together and make his skin splay like the perfect canvas for you to paint on. the red streaks across his pale skin, the sheen of sweat over them, and the way his muscles tremble from the effort of keeping still — he’s a masterpiece, one of your own creation, and you don’t plan on letting anyone else see him.

for now, though, you wish for those crystalline tears to fall, you want to see spit smeared over his neck and chest, and you want to hear him gag prettily for you.

“what do you want, baby?” you take a moment to squat down to his height, head tilting to the side as you look him in the eye. “want me to touch you?”

mingi offers his first weak nod of the night as his cheeks flush a pretty red and he ducks his chin to the side.

“good boy.” perhaps it’s a bit too cruel, the way you lower the riding crop further and slip the tip between the small gap in his cock cage. the leather digs into his dick, teasing his slit enough to make mingi writhe under your touch. he’s still good though — still stays put and doesn’t try bringing his hands out from where they’re losing feeling between his legs. it’s going to result in his first ruined orgasm, and you count the seconds in your head before he cries out and a weak trail of cum spills through the slit of metal encasing. “must be hard having to cum like that, baby. can’t even put your big dick to good use, huh?”

“n-no,” mingi whimpers as you pull the riding crop back and hold it to his face.

“clean it for me.”

his tongue slips out like he’s putting it on display. you give him a sweet smile that’s deceptively innocent again. the first slap of the leather on his tongue is a shock to him. it’s almost enough for him to lose his position and grab for his crotch, and you’re nearly tempted to take the cage off for him so he can cum properly. he has to earn that right though. you only give him two more sharp hits to the tongue before turning away and stepping over to the edge of the bed. mingi pants behind you, almost dog-like in how hard he’s breathing.

“need a break, princess? what’s your color?”

“green…. ‘m okay, ‘m okay, p-promise,” mingi huffs out in response, lifting his gaze to you as you look back at him over your shoulder.

“my pretty baby, you’re so good for me,” you singsong back through a tight-lipped grin. “made to be my perfect little toy… made for me, yeah?”

“y-yes.”

you exhale a breathy laugh despite his affirmation not being funny in the slightest.

“you aren’t being so chatty tonight, love, are you sure you want me that badly?”

“i do!” mingi almost stumbles over his words in the rush he makes to affirm them, and another laugh slips free, one that comes from your chest with more force. “i do, please, i want you.”

“please?” you echo, arching a brow at the collection of toys before you. you settle on one in particular and pick it up with delicate fingers and a smirk.

“please, please, i’ll beg, i’ve been good. i’m still in position! i’m being so good for you, y/n, i really am, right?”

“you are…” you turn back towards mingi, letting a genuine smile of adoration come over your lips. “you’re being my perfect little princess, baby. the perfect toy for me. you’re always so good, aren’t you?”

mingi nods like a man possessed, motions erratic in his rush to affirm your words. you press the head of the dildo in your hand further into your palm.

“do you wish this were you?” the stroke you give to the shaft is long and obnoxious, emphasizing the twist of your wrist and how you squeeze the base lightly. mingi goes dumb for a moment; his gaze flits over the silicone then up to your face then back down to your hand that repeats the rhythmic motions. “can’t even use your stupid cock to please me right now, but that’s okay, right? you can get off if i fuck myself with this in front of you, no?”

the whimper that leaves mingi is borderline pathetic.

“don’t worry, my love. i won’t do that to you. you’ve been so good for me tonight… there’s no need for punishment, okay?”

“promise?” he asks, lashes growing wetter by the second. your gut twists and turns, the desire to see those tears fall over the balls of his cheeks rising up only for you to squash it a second later.

“promise, baby boy.” you step closer to him again, and rather than kneeling down to his height, you merely stop before him and lower the flesh-toned dildo to his lips. “won’t you be a good cockslut and suck for me?”

it’s a lewd mimicry of an actual blowjob — the visual of him taking the dildo that’s settled in your palm right beside your hip almost makes it look real. his lips stretch around the girth, the size of it almost akin to how his own erection would look if not for the metal keeping him locked up right now. there’s a certain haziness to the way mingi blinks up at you, the motions slower than normal like he’s thinking too hard about it or approaching a different mindset that will leave him needy and clingy for hours to come. not that you mind — taking care of him afterward is almost as good as taking care of him during, and you’d rather die than be a bad dom for him.

you push the dildo to the back of his mouth, hitting his throat in one easy thrust, and the tears overflow. they stream over his skin with ease, and you see his shoulders begin to cave in a bit with each passing second. his hips jut in little staggered motions that betray his intentions, but you simply let him strive for a friction that will never really come. not the way he wants at least.

he’s drooling around the cock between his lips and wetting it more and more with each thrust. you can't resist the urge to take your free hand to his chin, catching a dribble of saliva and smearing down towards his chest. you cross the planes of his flat chest with a wet path in your wake before reaching one of his budded nipples. just brushing over it with the slightest amount of pressure has him groaning out a low moan. like music to your ears, he repeats the sound when you tweak his nipple a little harder.

“you can cum, baby boy. think your pathetic cock can squirt for me?” you pull the dildo from his mouth to let him speak, obviously waiting for an answer with the way you dangle the fake cock just out of his reach. his voice comes out gravelly and low when he manages to squeak out a response.

“good whores can.”

“is that what you are, my love?”

“please,” he whispers, an edge of desperation to his tone, and you can’t deny him what he wants.

“yes, my baby, you’re a good whore for me. all mine.” you nudge the dildo back to his waiting mouth, putting more pressure into your push this time around. mingi takes it almost greedily like it can’t get in his throat fast enough, and he all but leans into it seconds later. you squat down to his level, at last, keeping one arm up to thrust the silicone between his plump lips that have long since swollen up from the overuse. you don’t have your key on hand — it’s over on the bed along with your other supplies — but you won’t be needing it quite yet, reaching down to grip the little bit of his shaft that isn’t trapped within the metal cage.

mingi gags around the dildo once more, but this time you aren’t nearly as deep in his throat, so you withdraw the toy to let him choke out a few words.

“c-can you finger me? please?”

your mind goes blank for half a second, hand reaching up to sweep away some of the leftover tears on his cheeks before you recover and remember your place in the scene.

“mm, keep sucking.” you push the dildo down to the floor then go to pull mingi’s hands out from under his thighs. the freedom has him flexing his probably numb fingers as best he can, but he doesn’t waste any time in sitting up on his knees and bending in half to reach the fake cock once more. you get to your feet, eyes taking in the pretty expanse of his back and ass, the red marks on his hamstrings that indicate how much pressure he was putting on his hands. even as you retrieve the lube from the bed, mingi doesn’t budge and continues to follow your gentle orders without complaint.

you announce your arrival behind him with a sharp backhand slap to one side of his ass, delighting in the way he jolts and clenches around nothing. his noises are muffled by the dildo, but still music to your ears as always. his cock dangles uselessly between his legs, and the metal encasing jingles with his sporadic movements.

your first finger is cold when it slips into the heat of mingi’s ass, no effort put into trying to warm up the lube when you know how much mingi enjoys that first chill a little more every time. your fingers aren’t nearly as long as mingi’s so the effort that goes into searching for his sweet spot is far greater than it would be the other way around. he seems to content to wait, dick still dribbling strings of translucent cum like he never stopped cumming in the first place. you know by now he’s surely bordering the brink of overstimulation, the limit where it starts to become too much, but he keeps whining each time you threaten to pull your fingers out of him.

“one more, baby boy, then we’ll be done for the night and get you cleaned up,” you murmur, more to yourself than to him at this point because of how far gone he is. it’s endearing in a way, at least in your eyes it is, and it turns intoxicating once more with the first brush of your fingers over his prostate.

“hngh, o-oh… y/n, ah, i’ll cum early!” his mouth pops off the dildo to spew the words, and spit pools on the wood floor with his motions.

“the sooner you finish, the sooner we can get you in the bath, love.” you dig your fingers as deep as they can go, crooking them midway to repeat the same brush over his sweet spot. it garners you the reaction you were after — mingi cries out louder than he has so far in this session, legs going weak as he threatens to topple over. you grab for his hip with your free hand and try your best to steady his big body before he fully falls. all his cock can do at this point is give a few more weak spurts of the same translucent cum that pools on the floor between his legs. “good job, baby, look at you. you did so well for me.”

“y/n, i-i, fuck, i—”

“shh, baby, you’re okay, i’ve got you, okay?” you turn him to the side as gently as you can, trying to avoid any of the bodily fluids that are now spread over the wood, and help him lay flat against the floor on his back. you won’t make him stay there long, only enough for him to catch his breath and get some feeling back in his legs. you’ll get the key to his cage later too; you can’t risk leaving him right as he’s coming down from an orgasm even if it’s just a few feet away. so you drag yourself up his lanky body and settle over his waist with hands planted on his shoulders and a smile on your lips. “you with me still?”

“y-yeah,” he pants, eyes squeezed shut so tightly that there are wrinkles around his temples. you shift your hands up to brush over those spots, and the man under you relaxes into the touch.

it’s a slow process, bringing him down from the intensity of the orgasm and overstimulation, but it’s comfortable as well if you ignore the sweat sticking to your bodies.

“mm, okay, ‘m back, i’m back. fuckin’ drowsy as hell,” he murmurs some time later. the way his words slur is indication enough of his exhaustion, but you aren’t about to let him pass out on the floor like this.

“okay, big boy, up we go then. let’s take a bath and let me get everything cleaned up then you can pass out.” you move to climb off mingi and get to work, but he catches hold of your waist and tugs you back down to his face momentarily.

“love you, baby.”

you smile into his lips, pressing a chaste kiss there.

“i love you too.”

493 notes · View notes

let-them-read-fics · 3 years

Text

Flames

Requested By Anon "King" -- Cooking au, enemies to lovers, inspiration from Hell's Kitchen

Pairing: Lisa x Fem!Reader

AU: Chef (Lisa & Reader are chefs)

Word Count: ~ 5,904

Warnings / Misc. -- Bickering / Rivalry, Fluff, Suggestive Scene

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: Helllloooo, peeps! I hope all of you are taking care of yourselves and having great days / nights, wherever you are :) Special thanks to this anon for being so sweet in their request -- I love cooking shows, too, so this was a fun one to write. Thank you for requesting! You're welcome in my inbox anytime ❤ Hope you guys enjoy this one :)

♡ Happy Reading ♡

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

"Three sirloins, dying on the pass!" You shout out to your fellow chefs, shaking your head in disapproval. Service has been running fairly smoothly tonight, but a recent influx of celebrities coming from a nearby award show is slowing things to a halt.

You give attention to the pans in front of you, stirring each of them in the pattern you've set and keeping a steady rhythm. Consistency is key, and you're one of the only chefs who hasn't lost focus yet.

The other? Lisa Manoban.

"Side dishes heading to the pass," she announces, setting the pans down for your head chef to plate and approve of. He does so without a second thought, and you have to stop yourself from rolling your eyes.

The cocky smirk on Lisa's lips soon falters, though, when he gives her a warning. "You were almost too late, Manoban. Speed things up. Y/N is keeping the pace set, and you need to follow suit."

Checkmate.

"Yes, chef," she nods, though you can tell she's annoyed. You snicker quietly, and thankfully the sounds of the kitchen conceal your little noise. If your manager were to hear you you'd surely get reprimanded, and Lisa doesn't deserve the satisfaction of seeing that.

She returns to her station across from you, briefly meeting your gaze as a competitive fire flashes in her eyes, ignited by the comment from your higher-up.

This is the routine that the two of you have settled into ever since you were hired five months ago. Both of you had applied for the same position, and you quickly worked your way up to where you are now. Every time you were promoted, she was never far behind. The tense nature of your relationship (if you'd even call it that) is rooted in who can put out the best tasting dishes and receive the most recognition and praise for their work. It's childish, but you'd be lying to say that part of you doesn't enjoy it.

Especially when you win.

Tonight is shaping up to be one of those nights, and your confidence builds with every compliment you receive. You don't let it go to your head, though; if anything, you use it as a reason to push yourself harder.

Lisa isn't discouraged in the slightest, and she produces some of her best work right alongside yours.

"Chef, table 15 has requested for the cooks who prepared their dishes to come out to their table. They want to thank them properly," the server informs your manager, cocking his head to the side to motion towards them.

After recognizing them as a pair of world-renowned fashion designers, he decides to sacrifice some of his best cooks' time on the line and grant their wishes.

"What dishes did they have?"

"Both ordered the sirloin and asparagus with potato purée, sir."

Your head shoots up at that, excited by the confirmation of what you had been hoping for. Your senior nods to the server, turning around at the pass to look at you.

"Y/N, Lisa; head out to greet our guests, please."

"Right away, sir."

"On it, chef."

Both of you inform your assistants of the time left on your respective components before following after the waiter. Lisa not-so-subtly elbows you in an attempt to walk in front of you, but you step on her foot to prevent her from doing so.

Pushing and shoving each other like schoolgirls until you're in line of sight of the customers, you follow the waiter up to their table. He leaves shortly after dropping you off.

"Good evening, ladies," you greet with a smile, watching as their faces light up.

Lisa steps forward and extends a hand to one of them, making a crimson blush rush to her cheeks. A new feeling blossoms in your chest at their interaction, and you don't know how to take it. Deciding to just move on, you ask about their meals.

"I hope dinner was everything you wanted it to be."

"Oh, absolutely. The sirloin was cooked perfectly. Which one of you is responsible for it?"

A proud smile forms on your lips at that, and you bow your head lightly. "Me, miss. I'm glad you enjoyed."

"I'll have to come back more often, then. Cute and skilled? Count me in." She smirks at you, eyes taking in the sight of you in your uniform as she shamelessly flirts. You blush under her gaze, but hide it with a smug smile of your own.

"We'd be lucky to have you back anytime."

You shoot a glance at the other girl as well, making sure to keep her feeling included. Lisa's eye roll goes unnoticed by you, as does the dejected look that threatens to show on her beautiful face.

"My favorite part was the side dishes. The sirloin was great, but that purée was delicious. And don't even get me started on the risotto from earlier," the other woman gushes, praising Lisa's work for the night. The Thai girl perks up at that, her confidence on its way to being fully restored.

"Ah, you're too kind." She attempts to sound humble, but you know the truth; she lives for this sort of thing. The rush of cooking and serving up dish after tasty dish is thrilling, but nothing compares to getting compliments from the customers.

"I'm just stating facts..." she leans forward in her chair, obviously eyeing Lisa's chest as she reads her name off of her chef coat, "...Lisa."

"Oh, yeah? How about I whip you up another batch, then? Any side you want." Your rival offers, a bruisingly sexy smile on her face as she gazes down at the woman. It isn't new for either of you to flirt with the customers and schmooze your way into their hearts (and wallets), but something in the way Lisa admires the diner makes you jealous.

Her eyes scan over the menu as if she's looking through the options again, but she turns back to bite her lip and toy with Lisa some more. "Are you on the menu?"

She chuckles at the line, clearly not expecting that; she should've, though; it's one of the most overused pick-ups that you've ever heard.

"I can be--"

Just as Lisa goes to lean closer to her, the waiter comes back. For some reason unknown to you, you release a breath of relief, thankful for the interruption.

"I hate to break this up, but our chefs are needed back in the kitchen." He informs, linking his arms behind his back respectfully.

"Ah, that's too bad. Maybe we'll stick around until service is over." Lisa's fan says, looking to her friend with a shrug of her shoulders in a silent request for her opinion.

"Maybe, if that's alright with you."

Your customer looks up at you with hopeful eyes, though she attempts to hide it to some degree; she's not as brazen as her counterpart.

"Of course, darling," you decide to play into it. "You're welcome to stay as long as you'd like. I do recommend getting some dessert, though; pass the time a little faster. I'll be making the sweetened soufflé, if you're interested."

"Sounds delicious; I'm sold." She smiles at you, looking you up and down one last time.

"Enjoy the rest of your evening, ladies." You nod, bidding both of them farewell as you turn to follow after the waiter. Lisa does the same, and you can feel her hot on your trail shortly after.

"Back to your stations, both of you," your executive chef says upon your arrival, as if you had other intentions.

"Yes, chef," both of you respond, heading back without a second thought.

After pushing out a few more main dishes, you're instructed to rotate positions as the desert course kicks off. Other chefs will handle the remaining entrées now and allow you the opportunity to take over with the sweets.

Once you've buttered and coated the soufflé dish with granulated sugar, you combine the appropriate ingredients in the bowl that rests on the countertop in front of you, making sure to keep an eye on the milk as it heats up on the stovetop. Once both tasks are completed, you stir some of the milk into the batter you made, tempering the mixture. After you're satisfied with the consistency of it, you add the rest of it back to the pot on the stove and carefully whisk the ingredients together.

As that mellows out, you beat the egg whites required for the dish and add in the different extracts that the recipe calls for. Before long, you've folded both components in with one another and the dessert is ready to be baked.

"Nice work, Y/N. Keep it up." Your head chef encourages, making pride swell in your chest again.

You continue on with that steady pace, and all of your soufflés come out as tasty as ever, receiving plenty of praise from your happy customers. Lisa works just as hard, though, and her toffee puddings are a major hit with the diners.

Two hours later, dinner service is finally over.

Lisa finishes cleaning up her station as she sneaks a glance over to you, feeling her heart beat a little faster at the way you push your hair out of your face. A few drops of condensation tumble their way down the bottle of water that you're drinking from, clearly exhausted and hot after working so hard for so long, and she bites her lip. You're too attractive for your own good, and Lisa reprimands herself for admiring you in such a way.

You're practically enemies, after all; constantly striving for better positions and more attention, it's a never-ending battle of who can come out on top. She loves the game, if she's honest; keeping you on your toes is one of her favorite pastimes, and the banter is always a plus.

Especially when it gets heated.

She loves the way your brow twitches and your lips press together when you're forced to bite your tongue and keep the bickering to a minimum. You're too mature to play into her games most of the time -- not wanting to piss your head chef off -- but sometimes she gets you to break and fire off another reply, not caring what he'll say.

She loves it. Nothing will ever compare to getting you riled up like that.

"How's my girlfriend doing out there?" Lisa asks the server with a smile, tilting her head forward to motion to the dining room.

"They're the only ones still here. I have to hand it to them; they're dedicated." He chuckles, clapping Lisa on the back as he passes her. "They've been talking about both of you all night." He concludes, looking between the two of you before retreating to the break room to change.

Lisa laughs at that, and you curse yourself under your breath for enjoying the sound.

"Come on, let's go see them before they storm the kitchen," she plays, winking at you as she pushes the swinging door open.

At The Table, A Few Minutes Later

"I saved you a bite," your customer says, smiling at you as she reaches for a spoon that hasn't been used yet. Her friend catches the uncertain look in your eye, and she decides to ease your fears.

"Don't worry, she didn't slobber all over it. She cut that piece out before she started eating earlier."

You nod, thankful for the clarification. The woman turns back to Lisa, satisfied with her good deed for the day, and the two begin flirting again.

After the woman in front of you scoops the tasty dessert up, she holds the spoon out in front of your lips. A knowing smile spreads across your cheeks, and you open your mouth for her to feed you.

She's cute, you must say. Her auburn hair falls across her shoulders in perfect waves, complementing the velvety color of her leather jacket wonderfully. A pattern of freckles runs across the bridge of her nose, and a single, deep-set dimple presses into the soft skin of her right cheek.

The sound of her laughter carries out across the room as you attempt to take the whole piece in one bite -- she offered way too much at once for a single bite, but you never back down from a challenge.

Lisa subconsciously grips the tablecloth a little tighter when she sees her put a finger to your lips, preventing the food from spilling out and making a mess everywhere. You giggle and chew it up, eventually managing to swallow it without getting choked. Your fingers wrap around the customer's wrist, gently pulling her hand away from your lips as you rub her tender skin.

The woman in front of Lisa sighs, clearly wanting attention.

"Sorry, what were you saying?" She shakes her head, willing her envy to go away so she can flirt some more.

"I was asking if you have plans tonight. You're probably tired from working, so I figured I could treat you to some R&R." Her tone drops lower than normal, and a suggestive look shines in her eyes as she gives Lisa another once-over.

"Hmm, sounds like just what the doctor ordered," she leans in a bit closer, egging the girl on. They don't call Lisa a playgirl for nothing.

"Your place or mine?" She whispers into her ear, sounding desperate to get the chef alone.

"M-"

Lisa's response is abruptly cut off by the sound of a muffled noise of surprise from you, and she looks across the table again to find the other customer's lips pressed against yours. Your shoulders relax after a second as you return the gesture, but you eventually pull away to put some distance between the two of you.

Fuming, now too jealous to think straight, Lisa unceremoniously stands from her seat and steps around the table to you. The fact that she was just a few minutes away from taking her customer home and doing much more than kissing is lost on her -- seeing you in such a position with the other woman sparked something in her.

"If you'll excuse us, my colleague and I have to get going." She announces to the women, gripping your arm to pull you up from your chair. Her hold is firm, and the way her fingertips dig into your forearm sends a chill down your spine.

"Don't wait up." She adds, dragging you behind herself as she slams the kitchen door open. She's much more bold now that the head chef has left for the night -- clearly she pays little mind to being loud or rough.

"What the hell, Lisa?" You bite back, attempting to shake free of her grip.

She only tightens it, saying, "Quiet, L/N."

After stepping out into the deserted hallway and ensuring that the coast is clear, Lisa opens the door to one of the utility closets and pushes you inside. You stumble a bit, feeling the unforgiving edge of one of the metal racks dig into your back as you collide with it.

"What is your problem?" You hiss, spurred on by the stinging sensation radiating across your back.

"You," she says, turning around to lock the door behind herself. Your brows furrow, but she's quick to explain.

"Out there kissing that customer, letting her put her hands all over you… it's pathetic."

You scoff, shaking your head in disbelief. "Pathetic? Look at yourself, for Christ's sake; two minutes later and you would've been screwing that girl in the back of an Uber."

She tuts at you, stalking closer. "Don't go telling lies now, Y/N/N. You know I would've taken her home on my motorcycle and then got her in bed."

You groan at her cockiness; it exudes from her in waves, irking you to no end. Sometimes you wonder if she was made to annoy you.

"Whatever, Lisa. I'm leaving," you shoulder check her on the way to the door, but she's quick to react. Before you can move to unlock it, she has your back up against the door and her hands on your hips, keeping you pinned there. Her lips are on yours in a flash, urgently working against them in a show of how eager she is for you.

You worked her up out there more than you realized, and she couldn't take it anymore.

You mumble against her mouth in shock, taking a second to decide what to do with your hands. Should you push her away, or pull her impossibly closer? The choice is made for you when she parts your legs with her thigh, sliding it between them and pulling your hips forward so that you brush against it.

A groan slips out of your mouth at the new sensation, though it's muffled against her lips. She smirks, letting go of your hips to reach around behind you and untie the apron that's secured around your waist. She praises you as you rut against her leg again, sliding her tongue across your bottom lip to ask for entrance as the material falls to the floor with a quiet noise of impact.

Her fingertips undo the buttons of your top with haste, and she helps you slide it off your arms. It remains pooled at your waist, still tucked into your pants.

"Tell me if you want me to stop," she whispers against your lips before pecking them one more time, leaving a trail of kisses down your jawline and towards your collarbone.

Asking for consent is sexy as hell; especially coming from the goddess in front of you.

You curtly nod, bringing your hands up to her back. Your nails drag along the material of her uniform, encouraging her.

"Not so vocal now, are we?" Lisa teases, tilting your head back to grant herself more access to the sensitive skin of your neck.

"I can walk out this door right now, you know?" You say more than ask, the syllables mixing with moans as she leaves yet another darkening love bite on you.

"We both know that isn't true," she chuckles lowly, making you weak in the knees. You'll be damned to let go of your pride, though.

Gathering up all of the self control you possess, you shove her away and pull your shirt back over your arms, beginning to redo the buttons. You suppress the smirk begging to make itself visible when you notice the smug expression on her face fall. Smoothing the material out, you run a hand through your hair and readjust it before unlocking and opening the door.

The second your left foot makes it through the threshold, she's wrapping her arms around you and tugging you back in. A wave of relief washes over you at that -- you were praying she'd do exactly what she did. You hadn't imagined yourself making it down the hall, and you're not sure if you would've had the self restraint to do so.

"How the hell are you so stubborn?" She asks, letting you take over now. You drag over one of the folding chairs you spotted earlier, commanding her to sit in it with a mere glance.

"Letting you win isn't an option, Lis. Somebody has to wipe that stupid grin off your face and put you in your place; it might as well be me."

"How selfless," she holds her hand over her heart, face shining with mock proudness. "I'm touched."

"Shut up already," you laugh, straddling her waist as you sit on her lap. Her hands instinctively go to your thighs, running up and down them to get you going. She can feel your warmth through the material of your pants, and the feeling is intoxicating.

You cup her jaw and pull her closer, kissing her at a slower pace now. This one isn't as rough; it holds a whole different type of sensuality, and the occasional roll of her hips lets you know it's doing something to her, too.

"I've wanted this for so long," she says in between kisses, gently undoing the fasteners on your jeans.

"Really?"

"Really." She confirms, untucking your shirt now and running her hands up your back. The cold air of the room slides under the material, ghosting over your newly exposed skin to make goosebumps appear.

"I'm surprised I held out this long," she admits, remembering all of the times she's had to stop herself from making her feelings known.

You kiss her again before leaning back on her thighs and taking your coat and shirt off, left only in your bra. The lacey material begs to be touched, and Lisa traces the intricate patterns with her fingertips after receiving a nod from you.

"Jesus," you moan, feeling her other hand palm your ass as she keeps you steady on her lap.

"So beautiful," she sighs, admiring the way your cheeks have gotten flushed and how your chest rises and falls at a quicker pace now. Her hand guides the movements of your hips, and she can feel her own arousal spread to her thighs at the sight of you.

"Who's capable of doing this to you? Making you such a needy mess?" She asks, clearly wanting an ego boost, and she squeezes your breast a little harder when you take longer than she likes to answer.

"Y-you, Lisa."

"That's right, baby." She kisses you again, a silent action of approval. Your movements stutter as she moves her hand to the inside of your thigh, slipping past the material of your open jeans.

"Stop teasing already," you huff, resting your forehead against hers as you reach down to lead her hand closer to where you need her most.

"Fine, but under one condition," she quickly caves in, sliding the thin material of your panties to the side in order to appease you.

"Shit," you both say at the same time. In any other circumstance, you probably would've laughed at something like that, but now the atmosphere is entirely different.

Your slick coats her fingers, and she moans at the feeling of what she's done to you.

"What's your condition?" You husk out, pressing your hand to the door behind her to give yourself better leverage to rock against her.

"Come home with me after. I don't want to stop anytime soon." She kisses your jaw as she waits on your answer, feeling her warm breath fan out across your already heated skin.

"Deal. Now come here."

She meets you halfway, angling her head up to capture your lips in a searing kiss as she increases the intensity of her ministrations. The sound of the chair's legs squeaking against the floor with every combined roll of your bodies makes you smile, and soon the room is filled with filthy noises of pleasure from the both of you.

The Next Morning

The sound of your phone ringing abruptly pulls you from your dream, making you blindly reach for it. Not daring to expose your eyes to the harsh morning sunlight that's pushing its way past the curtains, you stretch your arm out until your fingers brush against the smooth surface of your screen.

You shield your eyes as you check the caller ID, only to nearly have a heart attack when you read it.

"Good morning, sir. I'm sorry for making you wait so long." You apologize, cringing at the fact that you almost missed a call from your manager. It was probably only one or two rings away from going unanswered.

"That's alright, Y/N," he says, sounding generous. He must be having a good day. "I'm calling to ask if you can come in. I have something I'd like to discuss with you."

Your heart drops at that, irrationally thinking he must've somehow caught you and Lisa at the restaurant last night without you knowing, but you try to remain calm.

"O-of course, sir. I'll be there in 30 minutes." You respond, already throwing the cover off yourself and moving to stand.

"Thank you, Y/N. See you soon."

He ends the call, and you try to decipher his tone. It was level and calm, holding no quality to tell you if he was angry or happy. You sigh, hoping it's nothing bad.

You stand up and stretch the remaining tension from your body, attempting to work out the kinks Lisa made in your muscles during your tiring night together. It was everything you'd ever hoped for, and your inability to walk properly is a testament to that.

You find a note waiting for you on the countertop in her bathroom, complete with a lipstick stain kissed onto it. You smile, picking it up.

Morning, beautiful

I had to leave early to take care of some business, but there's some toast waiting for you in the kitchen. It's all I had time to make.

Help yourself to anything else you want in there.

Xoxo, Lis

In an attempt to rid yourself of the annoyingly giddy feeling warming your heart, you take your clothes -- more specifically, the pajamas that Lisa gifted you -- off and step into the shower. The steam doesn't take long to fill the room, fogging up every surface in sight.

You look down at yourself, watching as suds trek their random paths down to your legs, and you see just how many marks Lisa really left. Your inner thighs are covered, as are your hips, neck, and abdomen, all painted in beautiful shades and designs. She was an animal, and you lived for every second of it.

Now that you think of it, though, you'll have to dedicate a good chunk of time to covering them up with makeup before you go to the restaurant. You vow to kill her if she makes you late.

At The Restaurant

Releasing one last, steadying breath, you knock on the door to your boss's office.

"Come in," he says, sounding pleasant.

When you walk in and find Lisa sitting in one of the chairs in front of his desk, you do a double take at her. She sports the same confused expression, but you hide your surprise and shut the door behind yourself before sitting in the seat beside her.

"Right," he starts, linking his fingers together authoritatively as he nods. "Now that you're both here, I'd like to discuss the latest promotion available."

Is he really going to make one of you watch while he hands the position to the other? That'll be torture -- especially if you lose. Having Lisa win like that would surely only make her teasing worse.

"You know we need strong leadership here, and I see those qualities in both of you. I'm willing to offer you both the position of sous chef, if you can agree to work together and continue keeping your standards high. If you get too busy bickering with one another, I'll be forced to choose. You're both talented, so don't make me do that."

Lisa looks over at you, and you smile, completely taken aback. To say you're surprised is an understatement.

"Thank you, sir." You say, snapping back to reality as you extend a hand for him to shake.

He smiles back, looking proudly between the two of you.

"You're welcome."

He shakes your hand before giving the same treatment to Lisa, making her look like an excited teenager with the way her cheeks pull back in a wide grin. After talking a bit longer and working out a few specifics, the two of you leave, allowing him to attend a phone conference in peace.

"Eee!" Lisa squeals the second you're out the door, picking you up in her arms to spin you around. You laugh at her sudden outburst, happy to have another sweet moment like this and break the tension that always seems to be swirling around the two of you.

"I'm gonna kick your ass during service tonight," she says, smirking evilly as she sets you back down.

"You wish. I'll wipe the floor with you."

"Oo, kinky. I think that's the only thing we didn't try last night," she teases, tapping her chin as if she's actually thinking about it, causing you to roll your eyes and blush.

"Shut up, Manoban. I'm sore as hell today, and I still haven't forgiven you yet."

"Aww, does my girl need some TLC? I can help you with that, you know."

You try not to think too far into the titles she's been giving you, but that one stands out for some reason. She likely doesn't mean anything deeper by it, but it doesn't stop you from pretending.

You're tired of the knowing look she's sending you, so you decide to do something about it.

Sneaking a glance around the two of you, you push her against the hallway wall and kiss her. You thread your fingers through her hair, pulling on the strands to give yourself more access to her mouth, just as you did last night. She enjoyed it then, and you're hoping she likes it just as much right now. Clearly, your plan works; as you pull away from her, you're rewarded with a view of her dilated pupils, blown wide as her arousal comes back without warning.

"That's cruel," she pouts, knowing full well you have no intention of finishing what you started.

"Think of it as retribution." You cheerily nod, ignoring the heat pooling in your stomach at the way she's eyeing you.

"See you tonight!" You blow her a kiss before walking away, hearing her frustrated sigh bounce off the walls.

Dinner Service

"Risotto to the pass, please!" You shout, practically begging for the line cook that you're now overseeing to do his job properly.

"I'm a minute out, chef."

You shake your head, but choose to ignore his incompetence for the time being. You're keeping things running smoothly, but they can easily be stalled by people like him.

You focus on plating the entrées of another table while you wait for him to finish, and Lisa slides over the side dish that you need to add. "Thank you," you say, totally in the zone.

"Welcome," she responds, equally as focused as you. It's definitely a quality that you admire about her; she's playful and fun, but she's serious in the kitchen. You'd clash and this whole arrangement would fail if she were any other way.

"Risotto approaching, chef."

"Finally," you clap, ready to approve of it and send it out. Thankfully it's cooked well, and the line chef is saved from your wrath -- at least for now.

"Service!"

Two waiters step forward following your call, and they load the large trays into their arms before heading to the dining room.

You get back to work on the next set of orders, reading the new tickets off to your cooks and listening for their confirmation of hearing you.

"Try this, Y/N. I think it's missing something." Lisa says, grabbing a plastic spoon to allow you to taste test the soup waiting to be sent out. She brings the utensil up to your lips and throws it away once you gather up the liquid.

"Basil. Tell Amanda it needs basil."

Lisa nods, listening to you for once without question. She barks the orders out to the young chef, and the girl fires off a couple apologies as she brings the missing ingredient over.

"Thank you, Amanda. Get back to work, I know you can do it," you encourage her, not wanting to crush her spirits too badly in the first week of her job. She's a newbie, and you remember being in her shoes once.

Pierre, your host and main waiter, approaches the side of the pass that borders the dining room. You raise an eyebrow at his sudden presence, wordlessly asking what he needs as you stir some pasta in the pot in front of you, twisting it around your tongs to plate it.

"We have a guest requesting to see Lisa."

Confusion flashes across your face for a moment, but then it sinks in. Your eyes land on the woman from last night, finding her standing near the front door with her arms crossed and a smirk on her lips. She waves to Lisa in greeting, and you bite your tongue to stop yourself from saying something out of line.

You can feel Lisa's gaze trail over to you, but you don't look up.

"Tell her I'll be there in a minute." She orders Pierre, quickly thanking him as he heads off to do as she asked.

She wants to say something to you, but she doesn't know exactly what. Her feelings are still jumbled from last night, and she's not too entirely certain on where you stand with one another.

You subconsciously hold your breath as she approaches the girl, getting pulled in for a tight hug as if she's known her for years. Was that the "business" she had to take care of this morning? Who knows.

They continue their conversation for a few minutes, and you distract yourself by focusing on pumping more food out.

"Good job, team. Keep it up," you praise them, happy to see everyone working well together. They thank you for the encouragement, and promise to keep their momentum going.

A few minutes later, as things begin to get a little hectic, you sneak a glance up at Lisa. She locks eyes with you, as if on cue.

You can see her trying to politely leave, but the woman puts a hand on her forearm, stepping forward to flirtily whisper something in her ear. She eventually manages to get her to back away, and she points at the door. The customer glares at you over Lisa's shoulder, leaving you confused but delighted. Seeing her unhappy is a treat in and of itself.

As Lisa turns around and starts to walk back to the kitchen, you quickly jump back into action, narrowly avoiding getting caught staring. Lisa has a sneaking suspicion that that's exactly what you were doing, but she doesn't speak on it as she rounds the corner of the pass.

"Well?" You nonchalantly ask, glancing at her in your peripheral. Your hands arrange a new set of plates on the tray between you, and her fingers brush against yours as she adds a side salad to it.

"She wanted to finish what she started last night." She informs, pausing before she finishes telling you what happened in order to build suspense and torture you some more.

"I said no, of course," she assures you, smiling when she notices you sigh in relief. "I've got my eye on someone else now."

"Yeah?" You ask, turning to look at her with a soft smile. Her change in demeanor makes your heart flutter.

"Yeah. Amanda's looking pretty good, isn't she?"

"Hey!" You shout, a little too loud for your own good, making Lisa laugh. You apologize to the guests and staff before punching Lisa in the arm, ready to get revenge later.

"Kidding, babe. You think I'd let you go after last night?" She cocks her head to the side, sounding genuinely confused that you could think such a thing. "Not a chance," she smiles, leaning to the side to kiss your cheek and bump your hip with her own.

Who would've thought you could end up here with her?

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millenialfanfictionaddiction · 3 years

Text

Go Go Karasuno: An Old Rival (Pt 1)

THIS FIC IS 18+

Warnings: swearing, light teasing

Word Counts: 7,000+

Flasback

"Keishin you asshole" you shout for the end of the court. God how you despised Ukai Keishin! The man was the bane of your existence at Karasuno High. He was always one upping you. Always one step ahead. He always got the praise while you remained in his shadow.

"Calm down Y/N! I'm just teasing you. I promise I'll be quiet during your serve this time" Keishin says as he smirks at you through the net.

"You say that every time asshole, yet we continue to have this discussion" you say with a huff.

You are annoyed and honestly just fed with with him. You didn't even want this practice match but of course, a lot of the girls had crushes on the boys team so you felt like you had to join. Even thought you couldn't stand Keishin’s big ego clogging up your breathing room.

"Just serve Y/N. Ignore him" one of your teammates shout.

You take a deep breath, tossing the ball up to serve.

Serving required the utmost concentration for you. You didn't know how people could effortlessly serve with background noise and people cheering. You hated that. You're teammates knew it and so did your coaches. Most of the time you didn't have to worry about noise, but when you were playing the boys team, you knew you always had to worry about something.

"Just do it already" you hear a voice shout as your hand smacks the ball in front of you causing it to barrel towards the net.

"Aye net ball" Keishin yelled from the other side of the court as he snickered at you.

"I'm seriously gonna kick your-" you start to say as your teammates gather ground to stop you from commit a felony.

"Alright that's enough" Coach yells from the sidelines "lets wrap it up."

You sigh as the boys high five each other, celebrating their victory. You line up with your team as you prepare to thank the boys team and shake hands.

You approach the net, extending your hand to Keishin while looking down.

"Better luck next time Y/N. But hey I can see the improvement. Just try getting it over the net next time" he smiles shaking you hand as you continue to stare at the floor.

Anger. You are so mad that he beat you again.

You sulk to the sidelines as you begin to dry off with a towel and drink your water.

"Will I ever be as good as him?"

Flashback ends

8 years.

8 whole years have passed since you last seen Keishin or any of the Karasuno Alumni. Now you find yourself standing at the gates wondering how fate brought you here.

It wasn't like your memories of High School were awful. You got good grades, played volleyball. You were even the captain of the girls team your 3rd year. For all intensive purposes, you loved High school.

You just hated Ukai Keishin with a passion. Sure you realized your teenage hatred of the man was petty. Of course it was. It was almost 10 years ago but yet you couldn't forget the man. There was just something that irked you to no end about him and you were glad your past 8 years had been Keishin-free.

After high school, you traveled to Toyko for school. After graduating you worked in Tokyo in a corporate office. You loved the job a lot. The city life was right up your alley. The people, the shopping, the nightlife. Everything. Not that you necessarily partook in those activities but you enjoyed the options. You had friends, your whole life was in Tokyo.

It's not like you wanted to be back in Miyagi. It wasn't by choice you were here.

You're parents had left after you graduated high school, following you to the cities. Unfortunately, when your grandfather got sick, you were the only one who could help.

Your parents both had prior commitments with work and you didn't have family in the area. You're job allowed you to work remotely. It was both a blessing and a curse. You were only going to be in town for a few weeks. Just to get your grandfather and grandmother settled in a senior living center.

Your parents had offered them to move in with them in Toyko but your grandfather would have none of it. He was as stubborn as they come. He hated the idea of "the big city". Your grandmother didn't really mind anyway but she wasn't going to leave your grandfather as long as he was living so you just gave up.

So how does that bring you back to Karasuno you ask?

Well a few of your fellow alumni had found out you were back in town. I'm talking Takinoue Yūsuke and Shimada Makoto, both former classmates as well as former volleyball players. You knew they were friends with Keishin but you never minded them. They were always nice to you and treated you kindly. Sure they joked around with you but they never pressed you like Keishin did. So imagine your surprise when you showed up to Shimada Mart with your grandma in toe only to find Makoto stocking shelves.

To say you were shocked wouldn't be entirely accurate, I mean his name is on the store. You just figured he had moved on. When he invited you for drinks with Yusuke, you accepted.

Not once did the conversation turn to Keishin which you appreciated. The men knew of your rivalry well. It almost seemed like neither of you had moved on from one another.

They had talked about the boys team and how amazing they were. You still enjoyed volleyball talk and even played on a small team in Toyko on the occasional weekends. They told you about their neighborhood association and how they were playing a match with the boys of Karasuno. They mentioned needing a setter to which you immediately perked up. You didn't ask questions, not even thinking about why they needed a setter.

You figured since the conversation avoided Keishin that he was no longer in the area. You knew of his families store but also knew that he probably didn't live around here. You offered your services as a setter for a practice game. The men looked at one another, nodding in agreement. You figured what could be the harm. You got to play volleyball and kick some kids asses.

It would be a lot of fun.

Keishin finished up his shift at his family store leaving it to his mother to tend while he attended practice. He hadn't thought much high-school since he graduated honestly. He was happy in his life.

He had good friends, a solid family support system and of course, he was the head coach of the Karasuno boys volleyball team. He walked to practice as he's thoughts drifted. They often did. He'd light a cigarette, think about things and by the time he finished, he was at the gates to Karasuno. He had scheduled a practice match tonight. He knew the neighborhood association lacked members but the Karasuno boys were always willing to fill in.

For some ungodly reason, his thoughts drifted to you. He hadn't thought about you in years.

That was a lie. A complete lie.

He actually thought about you often and how he was a complete and utter jerk in high school. He would never admit he had a crush on you back then but he did enjoy your little rivalry the two of you had. He always thought you were a great setter but he always strived to be better. It was just how he was. He knew his little crush would never amount to anything. You were way smarter and way more attractive. You had life goals and he strived to stay on the volleyball team. He hadn't dreamt of leaving Miyagi. He knew he wasn't college bound. He knew he'd always be here but you, you always dreamed of more and he admired that.

He thought you were probably some rich lady by now with a husband and a family. He laughed because he imagined your husband staying home while you worked because that's just how you were. You were strong and independent. You never settled.

Keishin entered the gym where the Karasuno boys were practicing.

"The neighborhood association will be here in 10 minutes" he yelled.

"Yes coach" the boys yelled in return as they continued to warm up for their practice game.

"Suga I'm going to need you to set for the association again tonight" he said. Sugawara Koushi nodded as he went back to warming up with the spikers. Takada Ittetsu, Karasuno’s faculty advisor and other coach, soon came bounding into the gym as he often did. He was always racing around it seemed like.

He had meetings, papers to grade and other things teachers worried about. Keishin laughed at how different him and Takeda were yet they made a great coaching team.

"Alright guys the show is here" a voice shouted from the doors as they were thrown open.

Keishin sighed, placing his head in his hand.

"Takinoue you talk to much" Shimada rolled his eyes as he smacked Takinoue on the shoulder walking over to Keishin.

"I've got Suga warming up for you guys" Keishin said to Makoto.

"Ahh no need tonight man, we've got a setter" Shimada said as he rested his hand on Keishin’s shoulder.

"Huh?" Keishin questions and the doors flew open. His eyes and the eyes of the rest of the teams eyes flew to the door.

Keishin froze

"Damn I see they still haven't fixed these God forsaken doors. It's been like 10 years damn" you said as you switched from your street shoes.

Everyone was staring at you.

"Hello everyone" you smile as you wave, still not noticing the long blonde hair coach on the sidelines staring holes in your head.

The boys bowed to you as you smiled.

You turned your body to walk to Shimada as you begin to speak "you should have told me-" you stop making direct eye contract with Keishin, your mouth dropping open.

"Keishin?" You say shockingly

"Y/N?" Keishin said equally as shocked.

"Oh whoops" Takinoue looks at you laughing awkwardly "I guess we forgot to mention the little detail that Keishin is the Karasuno teams coach ha ha"

Shimada's eyes went wide as he waited for you to speak.

"Yes you forgot to mention that LITTLE detail" you speak sharply as you whip your head to both Shimada and Takinoue.

Keishin is still frozen.

You're here? Why? How? And your setting for the Neighborhood association? Oh dear God!

"Long time no see Keishin" you speak directly as you look at him.

He thought you were beautiful then but now you looked spectacular! His brain and heart were thinking and beating at 1000 miles per hour yet no words were formed from his mouth.

Gosh this was awkward.

Shimada and Tokinoue watched in wonder.

Everyone did.

The Karasuno team could sense the tension between you two.

"What's with coach I've never seen him this quiet" Tanaka Ryunosuke whispers to Nishinoya Yu.

"No clue but it's making me nervous" Noya said in response.

You wanted for Keishin to speak only to be met with silence

"Well ok then" you clap your hands together "I'm here to set so let's get this show on the road."

You walk towards the practice jerseys as you slip one on. Everyone seems stunned but nobody says anything. You look back at everyone as they awkwardly go back to their tasks.

Takinoue walks up to you as you start stretching. You glare at him.

"This is all your fault" you say sharply as he puts on a practice jersey.

"Don’t expect any sets today" you growl as you walk to the sidelines talking with your new team for the evening.

The boys welcome you with open arms. Ennoshita Chikara, one of Karasuno's wing spikers greats you with a bow.

"Umm miss would you mind if we practice a few sets before the game starts?" He asks pleasantly.

"Oh please call me Y/N! And of course! I'm a new setter to you so I totally understand wanting to get comfortable" you smile as you walk towards the net.

Keishin is still staring. You're sure his eyes dried out by now from not blinking.

Ennoshita describes his ideal setup to you as you are mental notes. You remember a teammate who had a similar style so you try to adjust what you can.

Ennoshita throws a ball to you as you set perfectly for a kill.

"Nice kill" you say with a smile. Ennoshita blushes.

"That was a great set Y/N! I don’t think I've hit a ball that confidently in a long time" he says with a smile as he rubs the back of his head.

"Well thank you but I'm a bit rusty. The ball drifted a bit too much towards the net for my liking. I'll adjust" you say with a smile as the next teammate tosses to you.

“She hasn't changed a bit” Keishin thinks to himself.

He always thought you were too hard on yourself in high school. He admired you but you were always trying to do more. He knew you didn't really like him but he didn't actually know the reason. He just thought you found him to be annoying.

Keishin snaps out of his thoughts as he blows the whistle. Everyone lines up, thanking each other for the game as they proceed to their spots.

The game goes on for a while. You see Kageyama Tobio and Hinata Shoyo’s quick and your eyes sparkle. You knew that move had to be a shocker to almost anyone playing against them. You learned to never underestimate a player. You knew the smallest players were out the most dangerous. But you had to admit that even the quickness and trust the duo displayed was phenomenal.

During a break, Kageyama asked if you'd observe his technique. You felt honored as you knew the boy was a prodigy. He was a quick thinker on the court and adapted well. You could also tell he was a lot like you were. He was hard on himself and always strived to do better. You observed the infamous "falling toss" that just stopped mid air. It was amazing to see. You'd never even dream of being able to pull something off like that.

Honestly it seemed like a “Keishin” move to you. You laughed as you thought about all the times you rolled your eyes at his ridiculous sets. He was always trying to outrun the blockers. Always trying to open the paths for his spikers.

"That tosses was phenomenal boys" you smile as you applaud their efforts. They both bow as they disperse and continue their training.

Your eyes met Keishins again.

Honestly we're you really going to ignore him this whole time?

“It's been almost 10 years Y/N he's probably matured” you think to yourself as you gather the courage to approach the coach. Then again this was Ukai Keishin we were talking about. The asshole who constantly made it a mission to get under your nerves in high school.

When the second practice match started, you were you to serve. Keishin smiled to himself thinking about the cute look you got on your face as you prepared to serve. It made his hard warm. You didn't fail to notice his smile but you're thoughts automatically drifted back to high school. You hated that smile so much.

You prepared to serve as suddenly you heard someone clear their throat. You missed the serve completely, hitting a net ball. Keishin snickered to himself.

“Man you really hadn't changed all that much” he thought as he was thinking about how much you hated missing serves.

Your neck snaps to him as you glare "I know you did that on purpose" you spit at him.

Keishin just smiles "Y/N you really think I'm out here to mess your serves up?"

You definitely hadn't changed.

You huffed as you glared at Keishin as he smirked.

Shimada and Takinoue looked at each other. Part of them was hoping they would see you chuck a ball at Keishin while a part of them wondered how you two had managed to ignore your feelings for each other for so long.

The game ended as the boys cleaned the gym and thanked you for the game.

Keishin watched as you took off the practice jersey. Your shirt lifting, exposing your tummy bit to reveal your smooth skin. It was now or never .

"Umm hey Y/N, thanks for helping out" he says as he approaches you

You continue to wipe the sweat from your forehead as you take a drink of water. "No problem. It's a great team you have here" you say while avoiding eye contact.

Keishin wished you'd just look at him. You really didn't still hate him did you?

"Well I’m off" you say as you wave and smile to the team and the association. You quickly move to the gym doors, replacing your shoes and walking away.

"You sure blew that one" Shimada snickers behind Keishin.

"She really had no clue I was the coach?" Keishin looks at Shimada.

"Not one clue" he says in return "besides this provided so much entertainment." He throws his head back laughing as he walking towards the gym doors.

“Wyou blew this one Keishin” he thinks to himself as he sighs taking a seat in a folding chair.

He really did blow this one.

taglist: @axoxtxhxh

#justiceforthehaikyuucoachs #haikyuu #haikyuucoaches #haikyuu!!#karasuno #ukai #ukai keishin #keishin ukai smut #keishin x y/n #team mom series #teammom #team mom

169 notes · View notes

rumblelibrary · 3 years

Note

I was listening to Dust to Dust by The Civil Wars and it came to my mind that this song would be a great source of inspiration for a headcanon for Modern!Laszlo Kreizler. What do you think?

What me? Crying my eyes out??? How did you know?

The night was happy and light, the chorus of laughter that bursted around him made his lips twitch instinctively into a tensed smile.

A sense of emptiness pervading him, a sense of loss even though in the happiest of times: the case was solved, the disappeared child was back.

The joyous parents kissing those puffy cheeks, Sara sipping her wine and darting engaging looks at John. Laszlo scratched his cheek lightly as he observed them, he didn’t need all those degrees to see what was bare in front of his eyes. His soft scratching was a mix between a show of tension and a reassurance to himself.

After all that running around, fear of finding the corpse of a child, after all that begging and researching and striving.

Then why happiness didn’t hit him? Why there was no relief?

He knew the truth, but the reality of things was that he wasn’t ready to admit it.

“Already going away?” John asked him as he picked up his coat from the chair where he abandoned it.

“Yes, I have an early round of appointments tomorrow”

“We couldn’t have done it without your insight” John insisted. To celebrate in the conference room of the police station just showed how much the happy ending of such a potential tragedy struck everyone.

Laszlo’s eyes darted slowly over the happy family in the corner, the father holding the baby daughter kissing her cheeks as the mother kept a steady hand on her small back, her smile was everything that a sight should be graced of: fullness, undivided love and tenderness.

“I know” Laszlo said only making John huff and chuckle joking that he is humble as always. Laszlo only smiled holding the coat under his arm as he gave him a nod and left.

Only once he was out he realised he came in John’s car, so he resumed to walk his way home, he needed some fresh air.

He never regretted his divorce, he was dragging a dead horse. His ex wife hated the guts of him and he never realised how much he didn’t trust her until the time to get parted came. Until he saw how many times he closed, how many times he felt that she was there to hurt him and, ultimately, she did when the right time came.

He brought it upon himself, that’s what he kept saying.

He tried, but not hard enough, he offered his heart but her pain was so vivid back then that he wondered did he ever gave it all? Or maybe he just believed it, he believed to have done it.

The happy smile of the woman that just had her baby back kept hunting him, the unfiltered happiness they felt caused him a primal form of envy that he refused to acknowledge to himself.

The soft tug on his back woke him from his trail of thoughts. Hand pulling his shirt shooting him back to reality.

A lone man walking home with the damn expensive watch he wore, any other person would have been worried.

And yet, when he turned around and saw you he was the worried one, like you just pointed a gun at him. He opened his mouth lightly but didn’t speak up.

“John told me you left, I hoped to catch up on you”

The way you spoke, the way you smiled, the little huffing in your breath showing you run after him. This is so wrong. He kept telling himself.

He just, he didn’t deserve this, the way you looked at him.

You’re just good at crushing anyone else Laszlo.

The words of his ex engraved onto his mind more than he would ever admit.

“I was just going home”

“Are you close?”

“Yes”

You looked at him with a soft sigh veiled by a smile, like you were dealing with some stubborn child.

“May I walk with you?”

“If you like”

“I do”

He titled his head down looking up at your frame, the way you looked at him teasing something inside him, something that was scratching, a loud white noise in the back of his head that you made audible.

He moved on side as you positioned yourself on his right.

You didn’t speak as you just walked with him, he didn’t talk either.

A shiver run through him, a sense of nervousness pervading him as his street got nearer after every step.

“You should go home, I mean, it is already late, I could call you a taxi”

“Do you really want to get rid of me, don’t you?”

He didn’t answer, because the answer was yes.

He needed to keep you far from him, since he met you your presence was both joy and pain to his eyes.

You sparked a new light, you opened his mind, got his interest. Hearing you talk, watching you move, even the smallest quirks and the little pet peeves of you. Everything was entertaining to him. He felt this need, the need to get under your skin, both mentally and physically. He wondered how it is to blend against your body, to kiss your lips, to taste your tears and your skin. He wondered if you cry while watching sad films, if you have childhood fears, if you talk in your sleep. He wondered if you ever found him attractive, if you’d refrain from his touch, if your kisses begin slow or passionate.

The truth was that he was the one not ready for you, he was the one afraid to let you touch him, to be bare with someone once again.

“I live here” He said noticing the apartments building standing on his left.

You looked up at it and smirked as it was an old building, one of those that survived after hundreds of restyling and it ket this old beginning of 1900 kind of feeling.

“Can I come in?”

“You’re shameless” he said as he indeed was admiring your persistence.

“Also that”

He looked at you for a moment, you didn’t blink away, not even for a second.

Just leave, please, just go away, stay with me, no go, better if you go.

He kept debating inside himself as you waited silently.

“I can’t do this”

You leaned your head on side at his words, you waited for him to explain himself.

“This thing, I mean, I can’t really get anyone in my apartment, alright? It is still a work in progress”

“You have done fooling me around with your excuses Laszlo” you said to him “you can’t take decisions for me and you won’t”

“I am not good at this, I will just hurt you, I am good at the beginnings but I just fail with time, I get sloppy, I won’t be a good choice on the long run”

“Laszlo” you interrupted his rambling as he stared at you. His eyes were begging you, begging you not to force him into this.

“Stop it now” you took a step forward as the space between you two closed abruptly, he felt the warmth radiating from you, the way your eyes shone for him, a sense of being lost and found taking over him, the unreasonable fear of something happening at that ungodly hour, like the building falling, anything, something that will ruin this moment.

“Aren’t you tired?”

You asked it so simply and yet he felt like he was the child that got lost in the night and was now being found again.

He parted his lips, eyes erratically escaping yours as he looked for any word, any excuse, any reason.

“Terribly”

He just said it as your hand gently raised, it was a slow movement like you were about to touch some frightened animal.

His eyes were fixed onto yours as your fingertips traced his cheek and up his temple. Your hand was a little cold against his skin, yet warm into your intentions. He leaned forward slowly pressing his forehead against yours.

“I can’t do this to you”

You smiled as your hand gently moved down his neck giving him a soft caress.

“You have been lonely for too long” you whispered.

He opened his eyes slowly, dark lids blinking into yours as his jaw tightened, a little redness forming as he tried to conceal the emotions running through him.

“Don’t let me hurt you”

“You won’t”

“I will”

“Then I’ll be there” you just said “I’ll be there for you, for us”

He shivered closing the space between the two of you with a sealing kiss, the push that got through him, like his whole body rebelled his mind, made him crush you against the heavy bricks of the entrance.

You could almost sense the immediate regret he felt, but you tugged him in, you pulled him closer as your lips sweetened the kiss from its initial desperation.

There was no pain in what it was about to begin and you wanted him to feel it.

You had no fear, no fear of the empty dark spaces of his mind, of the loneliness of his soul or the searing pain of his past.

You watched him consume himself for too long.

The time of excuses was over, and as your hands cupped his cheeks and whispered softly to him he could almost feel the abrupt silence of his mind after the loud noise of you tearing down his first defence wall fainted into that kiss.

Tagged @cazzyimagines @lieutenantn @handmaiden-of-mischief @thesunflowersutra @zemomybeloved @fictionlandslanddreams@charistory @greeneyedblondie44 @apparrio @hb8301 @whatawildone @rhymerhymerhyme @thehuiabird @lilith-blackrose @unbeatablecurlgirl @obsidianlaszlo @alindeluce @zemosimp05 @baronesszemo-blackwood @nocapesdahling @everythingbeginsineternity-blog @archangelproperty

#laszlo kreizler #dr laszlo kreizler #modern!laszlokreizler #modern!laszlo kreizler #the alienist au #laszlo kreizler x y/n #laszlo kreizler x you #laszlo kriezler x reader #laszlo kreizler imagine #laszlo kreizler headcanons

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troubatrain · 3 years

Text

bad behavior - m. tkachuk

a/n: i don’t know when i started writing consistently but here we are. this another part of this series i was super excited about writing because this song is what put the idea in my head to begin with. quick shout out to @hookingminor, @tkafuckit, & @davidpastrsnack for reading my work and validating it because i swear i would never finish without you guys sometimes. hope you guys like it!

as per usual i recommend listing to the song while you read!

part of my lovely little lonely series

warnings: smut

“...you tell me, you're insecure, but don't be, stay soft, but don't be gentle, it's altogether mental...” - Bad Behavior - The Maine

I’m not a distraction am I?

Of fucking course you are, Matthew thought, buttoning up his dress shirt while he looked at the fresh marks he bit in your back not even fifteen minutes ago. You were the biggest distraction, Matthew forgoing his pre-game nap just for extra time with you between the sheets. You were a mistake he couldn’t stop making, ignoring the constant pull in his chest whenever you left because you didn’t do anything more than what you gave him.

Really, it was probably karmic punishment for all the shitty things Matthew’s done in his life. The universe would drop his dream girl in front of him but as it turns out, she played the game better than him. It wasn’t like he didn’t get a warning from your best friend Ella who’d been dating Sam from what seemed like the dawn of time. You were a heartbreaker, it was just how it was and that was how it’s going to be. Matthew ignored Ella, taking you home without a second thought because that’s what he wanted too. No Strings Attached. Turns out, he was in over his head when you left one night and the other side of Matthew’s bed felt cold for the first time in his life.

“You’re not a distraction pretty girl,” Matthew nods, curls bouncing against his forehead while he admires you from the otherside of his bedroom, “Are you coming tonight?”

“Are you going to be on your worst behavior?” You ask, rolling out of bed to collect your clothes Matthew never seemed to toss in one place. That’s why you were different, every person in his life telling him to ease up in his game - except you. You loved watching Matthew get into it on the ice because after those games the sex was just better.

Matthew chuckles, watching you unhook your panties from the lamp in the corner of the room and frowning when you saw the tear he ripped in them, “I’ll be on my worst behavior if you’re coming home with me later.”

“Twice in one day is pushing your luck Matthew,” You sigh dramatically, fixing his collar and flattening his tie, “And exhausting for me quite honestly.”

“I’ll be easy,” Matthew suggests, fingers gently pushing a piece of hair from in front of your face. Your eyes flutter shut, enjoying the moment. This made it so hard to keep your distance, the fact that Matthew was more of a gentle giant than he led on most of the time. Sure, he could pull your hair back when he hit it from behind and he made the dirtiest jokes in crowded rooms, but when all was said and done - he was kind. Someone would be lucky to have him one day, but that someone just couldn’t be you.

“You’ve never gone easy on me ever,” You giggle, pressing a kiss against Matthew’s jaw, “Good luck.”

***

Matthew didn’t know why he was so nervous about a silly All Star game, but he was. Maybe it was because it was at home, or maybe Brady’s last minute addition had him reconsidering. Either way, he’d been pacing for the last hour and trying to decide if he should tell you to stay home. He couldn’t do that, as if he was going to deny himself the small sliver of happiness he got every time you decided you wanted to see him. You were in charge, and it changed the playing field for Matthew entirely. It wasn’t like it usually was, Matthew being the one who often found themselves hanging by the phone in hopes you’d call. You didn’t, so Matthew got his hopes up and told you to stop by before he left for St. Louis.

“Hey All Star,” You muse, sneaking inside and taking off your coat. Matthew stops his pacing, smiling to himself that you actually showed up when he asked. No answer to his text, because why would you bother to let him know you were on your way. That would be too easy, and you weren’t by any means easy.

Matthew opened his mouth to ask you how your day was, but shut it once he realized he’d never get an answer. The only things he knew about you were learned from Ella and Sam, not a single detail of anything that happened outside of the walls of Matthew’s apartment was ever mentioned to him by you. You knew tons about him, because he opened up to you so easily it was breaking his heart that you wouldn’t do the same. He wondered why he did this to himself, why he didn’t just find someone who was obsessed with him. He liked the chase, Matthew’s athletic intuitions pushing him to strive for the best prize he could find, and you’d be the best of them all if he could have you.

Instead Matthew did what he always does, he pressed his lips to yours and pushed you up against the door. His hands were on your waist, an ironclad grip as if you’d slip right through his hands if he didn’t stop you. You probably would have.

“What’s wrong?” You question, Matthew confused as to how you knew something was up. His eyebrows furrowed, head cocking to the side like a puppy who was trying to figure out what a new sound was. You laugh, a melodic giggle carrying through Matthew’s almost barren apartment, “Your hands are right above my ass but you failed to touch it once, what’s up?”

“I’m, uh, nervous?” Matthew admits, his weaker parts of his brain succumbing to the pout on your lips. That pout could be what killed him. Matthew wasn’t dealing with it well, it being the newfound pressure he’d been feeling to be a top tier player. People expected him to turn it on for every game, and at first he loved it. Then he realized he no longer got the chance to slack off when all eyes were on him, Matthew had been internally crumbling ever since.

That wasn’t necessarily the only reason he’d been insecure lately. You weren’t helping, but you couldn’t be hurting him that much. Maybe you were. Matthew was trying really hard to be cool, but he was failing miserably. He got jealous more often than he liked to admit, and he was a liar if he didn’t deep dive your Instagram to see if you were very clearly seeing someone else. He was gone a lot, and you didn’t owe him any sort of explanation and he knew that. He knew he respected you enough not to ask but he liked you enough to care, and it was eating him alive.

“Pressure’s a lot, I just don’t feel like, you know,” Matthew explains, fumbling over his words and waving his hands because he didn’t want to say it. His voice got lower, words mumbled together when he spoke, “I’m insecure.”

“Don’t be,” You shrug, a wide confident smile on your face. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t a little surprised by Matthew, because as far as you knew he was a big bad guy, or at least he thought he was. You thought it was all bullshit, but you did often think that kind of pressure couldn’t be healthy. Every fiber of your being told you to run, that this was getting too emotional and if you didn’t stop you were going to ruin him forever. You did it all the time, your heart wasn’t built for more than a night and you were just accepting it. If you weren’t going to be able to stop self destructing anyone who tries to connect to you emotionally besides your loved ones you protected so fiercely - then you were going to have fun.

Which is what you thought you were getting into. You took Matthew home with nothing but his reputation spinning around in your head that he was the perfect conquest. Then you fucked, and it was too good to give up. So you kept him at arms length, never giving into those damn eyes and his frown whenever you left after you had sex. It was better that way, for both of you really.

“That’s all you got for me?” Matthew asks, stifling a laugh at your simple answer. He was admitting to you something he’s never let another soul know but you simply just shrugged.

“Okay, how about this,” You take a deep breath, snaking your hands under his shirt and grazing your nails against his skin.

You’re Matthew fucking Tkachuk. Your lips pressed against his jaw, a smirk gracing his face. You don’t give a fuck who’s in your way, you’ll hit them. Your lips moved to his ear, whispering softly. You’re what Doughty’s nightmares are made of. Your hands slipped down, playing with the waistband on his boxers. And you can score with the best of them, on and off the ice. Matthew laughed at that one, a smug smile back on his face where it rightfully should be. You have nothing to worry about.

Both of Matthew’s large hands landed on your cheeks, calloused fingers rubbing against your skin and his lips on yours. He didn’t need to say anything, he’d show you just how badly he needed that. Matthew pushed you towards his bedroom, your back hitting the plush mattress. You tossed your hoodie off, Matthew losing his at the same time. You admired him, the way his muscles were defined in the moonlight from his windows. Matthew’s hands slid down your back, unclasping your bra with one hand and smirking to himself when it slid off. You stroked his ego for a reason, one that ran a chill up your spine while he pressed kisses down your body.

“You’re fucking sexy,” Matthew mutters into your skin, sliding off your leggings and eyes practically rolling to the back of his head when a pair of lacy red panties caught his attention. His finger slid underneath them, fingers slick from your core, “And wet too huh?”

“Do you plan on doing something about it or should I call someone else,” You tease, Matthew’s free hand gripped your thigh when you spoke, jealousy coursing through his veins. He finger pulled against your panties, a loud rip catching your attention, “Matthew!”

“Don’t joke like that then, I’ll take care of you just fine on my fucking own,” Matthew growls, lips ghosting your clit. You whimper, running a hair through Matthew’s hair. His tongue lapped at your pussy, trying to remind you just why you couldn’t shake him. He was competitive, and if he had to fight for his spot in your line up he’d do it. You were a mess, a string of curses falling through your lips and your moans echoing in the room.

“Matty, fuck,” You let out a cry, gripping his curls tightly. Matthew flicked your clit with his tongue, a gasp leaving your mouth. Matthew went to overdrive, his well skilled tongue moving quickly to send you over the edge. You grinded against his mouth, his hands holding down your waist so he could keep going while you came on his face. You finally push his head back, unable to take anymore.

Matthew crawls back up your body, capturing your lips with his and kicking off his boxers. You push him onto his back gently, a smug smile on his face and his hands landing behind his head, “A show?”

“Shut up,” You shake your head, letting out a laugh while you straddle Matthew. You pumped him a few times, lining his cock up with your pussy and easing yourself onto him.

“You look so good on top of me,” Matthew muses, a cocky tone to his voice. You grab the overgrown curls on the nape of his neck, rolling your hips against him and smirking when a groan left his lips, “My perfect fucking girl.”

Matthew’s hand smacked your ass while you rode him at your own speed. His free hand gripped your hip, speeding up your pace. Matthew loved being on top, a translation of his control that he desperately craved, but he let you do whatever you wanted. His hand snuck up your body, hand gently gripping your neck, “If you leave a mark this time Matthew-”

Matthew chuckles, remembering the borderline vicious threats you sent him the last time his grip got a little too tight and you didn’t realize until the next day. Matthew pulls you down to meet his lips, flipping you over onto your and back wrapping on your legs around his waist. His forehead pressed against yours, something you noticed he'd been doing more often lately, “Cum for me, fuck, c’mon.”

“Harder,” You nod, eager to chase your high and give him what you knew he wanted. He liked to get you off, the satisfaction of pleasing you did it for him, Matthew often bragging about how much a giver he really was. Your pussy fluttered around him, Matthew pulling his cock out and spilling onto your stomach. He looked down at you, completely fucked out with his cum on you like you were his. Your eyes were glassy, lips swollen from his while you caught your breath, “Shit.”

Matthew laughs lightly, walking into the en suite bathroom to get you a towel. He was always gentle afterwards, taking care of you after he absolutely wrecked you as if it was going to remind you that maybe he deserved more than you were giving to anyone else. You tuck your head into Matthew’s pillow, sleep about to take over your body. You never stayed, your own little rule because you just knew if you let him hold you it would be over, “Just stay, you look tired pretty girl.”

Matthew’s voice was gentle, his finger running along your bareback lightly while he offered you a shirt in the other. He wanted you to stay so badly, “Matty-”

“My flight leaves in a few hours, it’s like a nap,” Matthew whispers, and you smile at his excuse for you to sleepover. You nod, sitting up and tossing on whatever gray t-shirt he’d given you. You didn’t know, but it was his favorite shirt in the world, the fabric soft like a tee that had been well loved.

Matthew was supposed to have woken you up before he left, dropping you off at your place before he headed to the airport to go home. He was going to, he swore he really was, but when he was leaving you looked so damn cute snoring away in his favorite shirt. So he left you a note, telling you to lock up before you left and that he’d see you the day he got back. You woke up peacefully, the light shining through the floor to ceiling windows in Matthew’s apartment and rolling your eyes at his note. You grab your phone, smiling when you notice he left it charging for you.

You told me it was a nap.

Maybe you shouldn’t look so cute when you sleep then.

You roll over screaming in the pillow because you were going to ruin him.

***

Matthew had enough of the waiting game.

It's been nine days since that night and Matthew was losing his fucking mind. He was playing like absolute garbage, his name off the scoresheet since the All Star break. Matthew was lashing out left and right, both against the opposition and his own friends when they grew concerned. He thought about moving on, even calling up an old fling. That didn’t end well, Matthew moaning your name by accident in bed and then she left almost immediately after. He was frustrated with himself for getting this invested, but you were intoxicating. Matthew left the Saddledome after another shit game and drove to your place, with the intent that you were either going to hear him out or he was going to have to cut you out of his life.

“Hi?” You were confused when you saw him on the other side of the door, you leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed. You were already pressed, wondering what Matthew thought he was doing banging on your apartment door. He looked pissed, bags under his eyes like he hasn’t slept in days and you were already rolling your eyes at the tweets about him being a bust.

“I can’t do this shit anymore,” Matthew steps inside, stomping into your space and gritting his words, “You have this hold on me, and I know I told you I could be cool about this but I can’t be. I’m fucking jealous of every other dude you could be with and I think about it all the time-”

“And I’m a heartless bitch,” You hiss, every wall you had just got taller. Your words could cut like a knife, and you were ready to let Matthew have it, “I’ve heard it from everyone, I ruin people Matthew, save me the argument.”

“You’re not going to ruin me, I know you, fuck,” Matthew steps forward, every bit of anger in his body disappearing when he saw the way you lip was starting to quiver. His voice got lower, his thumb running along your jaw, “I know you think you bring out the worst in me, but you bring out my best too.”

“I’m going to hurt you, I always do,” You whisper, averting your eyes down so you didn’t have to look at him.

“Then hurt me later,” Matthew took this as his turn to shrug, try and take a page in your book and be a little nonchalant, “For now, could we just try this out? No games, no one else, just us.”

“This is bad for you Matthew,” You give him one more warning, pulling him closer to you and tugging on the curls at the nape of his neck.

“Be bad for me then,” Matthew groans, grabbing a handful of your ass and pressing a kiss to your lips.

“Matthew!”

#matthew tkachuk #matthew tkachuk imagine #my writing #nhl imagine #nhl imagines

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undercover-trio · 3 years

Text

De request

First "I love you" with Team RWBY? The more tooth rottingly fluffy, the better. They/Them pronouns? Thanks, I love your works.

~~~~~~

Aw shucks, thanks Anon, I’m glad my works are to your liking

✨✨（*´▽｀*）✨✨

I’ll make this as sweet as I can, so sweet even I feel the sweetness radiating from my phone.

o(-`д´- 。)

-Mod Pengie

Art is by mistEcru

(。･ω･｡)ﾉ♡

——————————

Ruby

You twiddled with the music box in your hand, it was fairly small yet still quite beautiful. The rose design it had along with wines tracing along its silver surface, much alike the quality of those in stores.

Yet you made it, you created the music sheets after sleepless days, trying to translate Ruby’s favorite song into a music sheet. You studied the parts of music boxes through your scroll, you nicked your fingers many times as you shaped the metal for the box.

You worked hours on end to purchase the materials, sure it cost more to build a music box than buy one but you wouldn’t let yourself. Ruby had helped and supported you through so much, you wanted her to feel even a drop of the appreciation you felt towards her.

You did have many busts when it came to making them but you felt so proud the moment when you could make a successful one. Your head remembered the sound of her favorite song by memory given how much you played it on the music box to get it right.

As you walked towards Ruby’s dorm you felt nervous, not by the chance you’d be caught by the night guard, he already gave you permission to go.

You really hoped Ruby liked the gift, you put your all into it, it was in a cute red box with a f/c(favorite color) ribbon tying it.

The moment you knocked on her dorm door you felt all your worries wash away, you weren’t the type to have doubts. You knew Ruby, she was a precious and sweet girl who deserved the world.

You smiled at Yang as she opened the door, you looked slightly nervous and a bit tired with light bags under your eyes. It didn’t stop the genuine love she could feel coming from you, she opened the door wider to let you in as she smiled at the gift.

Ruby had her nose in a textbook, looking cutely focused as you chuckled, that caught her attention. She noticed her other three teammates walked out the dorm, leaving you and her.

“Y/N? What’s up!” She greeted cheerfully, you took off your shoes and stepped on Weiss’ bed. Ruby focused on how the candle light enhanced your features.

She looked curious as you handed her a box, you smiled and nodded at her to open it.

And she did, her eyes glossed up at the beautiful music box in front of her. She observed every detail, her being more flattered as she saw every thought you put into it.

“Play it.” You encouraged, your voice mellow from your tiredness, it was due to the hour and how much work you put into her gift.

She twisted the knob and listened to the song with you, while it wasn’t as professionally done as the ones she’d see in shops it was still welcoming.

She came to the realization you made this as her keen eyes observed the craftsmanship and details, it wasn’t impossible given you two first met in a workshop.

As the song ended her eyes were watery, this song was her favorite, it was her and her mother's song.

Red like Roses..

“I love you Ruby..I was just too nervous to say it till now, I wanted to make it special as well.

Her heart melted at your mannerism, your gift, your love, just everything in this moment.

She quickly jumped down from her bunk and tackled you into a heartfelt hug, you were a blushing and stuttering mess but she couldn’t help it.

She loved you so much in this moment.

She’s loved you for a long time.

“I love it- I love you- I just-“ Ruby was fumbling over her sentence, her feelings were overflowing.

You sat up and hugged her back, she tucked her head into your neck as she kept repeating how much she loved you.

You loved her too, and you felt fulfilled knowing that she knew.

——————————

Weiss

-Before Weiss heads to Beacon cause I wanna be unique

Weiss… was perfect in aristocratic standards, she behaved impeccably, was talented and had the charisma.

Her silvery hair never failed to perk your interest, the way all her moves were calculated and graceful. Her eyes were a beautiful sky blue, they were probably what drew you in the most.

They were free, they were bright and daring, you weren’t sure when exactly you realized your fondness of her, it just happened.

While you weren’t the most poor aristocrat you certainly weren’t the most rich. It kept you grounded, you had always been level headed yet when it came to her.. you felt all sensible thinking fade.

Perhaps that was what made you follow her to the balcony that night, you remember how you froze when you watched her beautiful features be illuminated by the shattered moon.

Her expression made you pause for a second, with a defeated smile you could help but think she didn’t belong here. An angel can’t be kept in a cage after all.

“Why the long look?” You asked, your behavior genteel as always. Sky blue met e/c, your heart beat fast at the eye contact.

To think you were only 12 at the time.

You and Weiss became acquainted, slowly it turned into friendship, you couldn’t help but admire her.

She really was a beauty among thieves, you loved it when she laughed and joked. Your heart broke when she looked defeated or down, you always strived to be there for her as she did you.

Yet.. secrets can’t always be kept forever, white lies are soon seen through, you weren’t an opaque wall rather than a tinted glass.

“I’m leaving.”

Such a simple sentence from her managed to change your mood tremendously, yet even then as you turned to meet her precious blue eyes..

You couldn’t bring yourself to stop her, she deserved to be free.

“I see.” You couldn’t bring yourself to say more without your voice breaking. She raised her eyebrow at your seemingly relaxed response, yet Weiss was perceptive.

“I’m sorry Y/N.. I just can’t keep being grouped with my family anymore.” Her voice cracked with guilt and pent up aggression, you could feel her emotions about to overflow.

Two warm hands were placed on her cheeks, Weiss couldn’t help but lean into their comfort, you gently brushed away her tears.

“Weiss, look at me.” She hesitantly looked at your face, she didn’t say a word of how it made her heart skip a beat.

“I’ve known..for a long time you don’t belong here.” You started, Weiss could only listen to the cadence of your voice as she put her hands on both your wrists.

“You were made for adventure, a thrilling life with people who care about you.” The more you spoke the less coordinated your words became, she knew you cared about her. You wished for her to get the affection she truly deserved, with the amount of people she should.

It shouldn’t just be you.

“Weiss, when I look into your eyes I see the sky.. I see freedom.. I see many beautiful things.” Her cheeks tinted at the words, you noticed, she always got like that when praised.

“And freedom isn’t caged, it's the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint.” She smiled wryly as she knew you quoted the dictionary, you always did when it came to words that struck you.

“Therefore.. I support you, I’ll even aid you if need be.” Her heart warmed at your words, you were always there for her, speaking and looking at her as if she were the most precious thing.

She couldn’t help her next action.

Her arms wrapped around your shoulders as her lips made contact with yours, they were soft. Her lips were pushed against yours as she tried to convey how she felt to you, smiling slightly when you wrapped your arms around her waist.

When you two separated you met her eyes, they looked back at you lovingly, the way you would always look at her.

“I love you Y/N/N.” She admitted with a smile, you were surprised and delighted. You couldn’t help the way your face melted into a sweet grin.

“And I you, Weiss.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

You met with an Angel at twelve

And with your affections you delve

The closest of friends at fifteen

Something you’d never foreseen

A kiss goodbye at seventeen

As you watched her break from her routine

——————————

Blake

Blake was scared of your affection sometimes, not that she was scared of you as a person.

It’s just that she was hurt and emotionally scarred so many times and it was hard to heal. Her emotional state was equivalent to a paper that had been crumpled then straightened out.

The marks were still there.

She wasn’t sure she could recover if you turned out the same way Adam did, yet every time you looked at her with love in your eyes she just couldn’t help but stick with you.

She felt ashamed she would always lose her voice when she would try and say she loved you, it made her think of Adam.

You noticed this of course, and every time without fail you would give her a smile and tell her it’s fine. Sure it hurt a bit but you loved Blake, you knew of her past, her emotions and traumas.

You loved every bit of her.

She had come into your dorm late one night, she was busy at the library due to the Torchwick situations. Yet she felt her heart rate increase at your sleeping face, you always were the most beautiful person to her.

Then she heard it.

“...love you..Blake.”

You had murmured it in your sleep, she knew that you loved her, she knew that you refrained from telling her that because you loved her.

Her reaction wasn’t what she expected though, instead of the dreaded fear she thought she would have she instead had a feeling of comfort, ecstasy even.

Her emotions had already come to accept that you loved her, that you weren’t Adam.

She teared up a bit of the realization, they weren’t sad tears but ones of pure and genuine delight.

While she was on her high she sat next to your body and shook you awake, you drowsily looked at her. With a sleepy smile you lift up your hoodie a bit and let her sneak underneath it.

You called it ‘Hoodie Time’, Blake found it as a good way to calm down and relax if she listened to your heartbeat.

And the added bonus she liked being in small spaces.

She felt you stroke her hair as she listened to the cadence of your heart, it was slightly fast and it only flattered her.

“Want to talk Kitten?” You asked, Blake usually did this when she was stressed. You didn’t mind though, you thought it was quite cute.

She shook her head no as she kept her right human and cat ear on your chest.

“I just wanted to say” she started as you rubbed circles on her back to keep her calm. She felt slightly nervous but your action did help.

“I love you.” She got it all out in one breath, she grew slightly worried as she noticed you stopped rubbing her back. She shook her head, you weren’t Adam and you’d never be, you were Y/N.

Her worries ended when she saw how happy your face was, you looked as though you struck gold.

You looked at her as if she just gave you the world, you didn’t want her to worry, you quickly pecked her forehead since it was fairly close to your lips.

“I love you too Blake.” You began, then you started tearing up. “I’m glad you trust me enough to say this.”

She was flabbergasted at how genuinely loving your reaction was, it made her all the more warm inside, she loved your way of love.

She loved you.

She always would.

——————————

Yang

You smiled as you felt the wind brush against your hair, the city lights always looked perfect in the night. Unfortunately the police sirens weren’t that pleasant, then again, your favorite blonde is the one who is driving right now.

She took a sharp right as you grasped onto her stomach tighter, her muscles tensed at the feeling. The feeling of your fingers brushing against her stomach caused her to lose focus for a minor second.

At least until you snapped her out of it.

“Yang!! Bascule bridge is splitting right now!!” You alerted her, her lilac eyes noticed the ship trying to pass, she immediately increased the motorcycle speed.

Unlike with Ruby, Blake and dear oum.. Weiss, you wouldn’t get scared or mad when she invited you on a thrill ride. You enjoyed it and participated, it surprised her at first given you were a pretty mellow and sweet individual.

She smiled as she heard you gasp in excitement as you two were on the motorcycle mid air, the gradient of the bridge was more than enough to lose the cops and make it to the other side.

You treasured how her hair seemed to fly in slow motion, the moon illuminating the whole scene.

The landing was a bit rough, but thanks to your semblance, aerokinesis, you guys didn’t crash into oblivion. It did slightly exhaust you to slow the velocity you guys were falling at however the adrenaline sure helped.

Luckily there were only minor scratches to bumblebee, unfortunately you both just realized that the way back to Beacon was on the other side of the bridge.

“So Yang.. how would you feel sleeping on a random roof?”

Yang merely laughed at the question and slapped your back, she was on board with it.

That question eventually led to the two of you being on a flat roof, Bumblebee was hidden in a bush right below you guys. You could use your semblance to bring you and Yang up but the bike was a bit too much for you right now.

“Best Joy ride ever!” Yang laughed out with a huge grin on her face, you chuckled at her antics and gave her a fist bump. You guys relaxed for a bit, nearing sleep before Yang turned to you, her eyes looked determined.

“Serious though, I’m glad I have you Y/N/N, I’m not able to do these things with anyone else without being called brash and dumb.” You frowned at the last words, without speaking you merely grabbed her hand as you looked at the star signs.

Ursa Major, quite ironic given you have an overprotective bear hugging friend next to you at the moment.

“Yang.. before I met you I wasn’t able to be myself, while I’m not necessarily as… extroverted as you.. my parents didn’t like my need for thrill.” You told her as you grasped her hand tighter, she too frowned at your words.

“But then I met you… this amazing, lively person, the day you first invited me to a ride like this.. I felt happy.” She blushed at your description of her yet you kept going.

“You’re not dumb, maybe a little brash but you’re still a ray of sunlight that came into my life..and I love you for it.” Your face turned crimson as you admitted those last words, she paused as she came to terms with what you said.

The two of you were still lying down as she raised her arm, you closed your eyes as she patted your soft hair.

“Gee.. you could’ve just told me you loved me..then again you wouldn’t be my Y/N if you didn’t speak a lot to get a point across.” She laughed as you started snickering at her words too, her eyes caught sight of yours as they held contact.

“I love you too Y/N.” She smiled brightly as she brought you in for a kiss, you couldn’t help but beam with happiness as well.

You loved Yang a lot, you loved her thrilling, welcoming self. And she loved you as well.

——————————

Heyo! It’s me Pengie, sorry for the late upload of this, school kept me busy, luckily Fine Line by Harry Styles came in my life(slowed down cause I’m like that) added to the angst but nyeh

Anyways I hope your teeth rotted lol, I love you simps and have a good day!

#mod pengie #rwby #rwby x reader #tagging still sucks #ruby rose x reader #ruby rose #rwby ruby #weiss schnee x reader #weiss schnee #rwby weiss #yang xiao long x reader #rwby yang #yang xiao long #blake belladonna x reader #rwby blake #blake belladonna #gender nuetral reader #fluff

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sainz-zayn · 3 years

Text

Treacherous 01.

Treacherous (adj.) guilty of or involving betrayal or deception.

Warnings: vulgar foreign language/ foul language, sexual and suggestive themes, betrayal/ betrayal between Johnjae, Illegal drug dealing, mention of blood and wounds, use of gun, smoking, mention of death/ murder, minor character death. This is my first time writing a kind of detailed smut and it`s badly written I`m sorry. I don`t know much about law but I tried since this is kind of Vincenzo au a little far from it but kind of like that and I`m amateur when it come`s to writing again I`m sorry. All Italian/foreign words came from google translate.

► Part 2

Word Count: 10.1k

Disclaimer: All characters and events in this story even those based on real people are entirely fictional.

"Envious causes jealousy and jealousy causes hatred, hatred turns Treacherous causing sins to one another," you said letting out a sarcastic chortle.

"Revenge, you said you want your revenge and I`m more than happy and dreadful to help you" his eyes are flaming and burning fire the beast inside him threatening to come out as anger forms and creeps inside him.

"I`m still not satisfied" you retorted emphasizing each word that is coming out of your lips.

Takara Nakajima is one of the most corrupted Lawyers under Gongpyeong law firm has the dirtiest secret and dirt under their family`s name, the enemy of Ferrante`s. One of the cases you need to solve without any of your relatives knowing except for your one adopted cousin Johnny Jun Suh also distinguished as John Ivano Ferrante American/Korean, an Italian citizen.

"Where are you at 10:00 PM when the victim is rape?" His lawyer asked pacing back in forth waiting for the employer to answer.

"Again I will ask you where are you at exactly 10:00 PM when the victim is rape?" the lawyer questioned the employer again you can see that the employer is fidgeting his fingers and his eyes wandering the room one of the signs that he can be guilty.

"I-I`m home that night I didn`t do anything I didn`t put drugs in her drinks," the employer asserted.

"Objection your honor, Under sexual violence prevention and victims protection act, article 36 any person who dismisses a victim from employment or takes any other measure unfavorable to a victim, in violation of Article 8, shall be punished by imprisonment with labor. In the sexual violence prevention and victims protection act, article 8 No employer shall dismiss any victim or take any other unfavorable measure against him or her on the ground that he or she is the victim of sexual violence and this is what exactly what the employer doing now" you glance at the employer who is accused of doing sexual assault and attempted rape still contradicting what he has done.

"And let me ask one question please allow me your honor" you face the judge waiting for his approval.

"Let`s hear it" the judge simply said and you bow at him.

"No one, not even the police or anyone talks about you putting drugs on her drink, or perhaps you really did?" you ask the employer with anticipation waiting for him to reveal the truth and justice will be served.

"I didn`t, I said I didn`t! byeongsin saekki" the employer said and you glare at him for swearing.

"Your honor this footage from the witness will prove that he's guilty of the accusation that he`s getting" you fight back and you give the flash drive to them and insert it.

"Your honor we decline to accept this evidence!" the lawyer of the defendant said.

"It`s still evidence from the witness you have no choice," you said crossing your arms.

"Quiet! let`s watch the evidence" the judge proclaims making you all stop.

They watch the video of the girl being hauled in a dark place and how the employer does something very unpleasant and the video finishes again and now you still have the victory.

"Employer 5890 will be punished with imprisonment with labor for not more than three years" the judge announces and finalize it with the victim's family crying for winning the case. You walk out of the court with the cold aura you have going back to your office again.

"Congratulations Y/n or should I say, Chiara Allesandra Ferrante," the person said sarcastically you look at your mortal enemy worst of the worst Takara Nakajima daughter of Nakajima Hiroto owner of Nakajima Enterprises.

"Shut it Nakajima Takara" you rolled your eyes at her purposely bumping your shoulder to hers making her huff.

"Just accept it that you can`t win a single case without bribing the judge how pathetic of you Na.Ka.Ji.Ma" you emphasize her surname with a mocking tone making sure she heard it even though you`re not facing her.

"What did you just say? Apologize now!" Takara is a partner in the Gongpyeong law firm and one of the bossiest ones.

"Mi dispiace, patetico moccioso" you purposely said it since she`s Japanese and she won`t be able to understand that you say "I`m sorry you pathetic brat." you leave her with a teasing grin tainted in your lips.

"What did you just say!?" Takara said stomping her feet to the ground.

"Goodbye," you sing while walking away from her.

You open the door of your office startled by Johnny who is admiring your office, you promptly ran in his direction and hug him as tight as you could. Johnny Suh or John Ivano is not just someone who is adopted for you, you see him as an older brother and a best friend. He is one of the best lawyers in the country and also known worldwide, renowned, and acknowledge as John Ivano Ferrante. Raised by two Italian couples at the age of 3, his parents died in a car accident the cause is still not solved after years of striving for justice to be served. But there is one saying in the Ferrante clan; Never trust anybody because you can find faults and sin even in the most righteous person.

"Ivano!" you jumped to him making him carry you in his arms while you`re clinging to him like a koala.

"Johnny, just call me Johnny" he let out a breathy chortle removing you from his tight grasp shuffling your hair the height difference didn`t help at all.

"Don`t mess up my hair my hairstylist is not available right now, you know Ivano" you emphasize his name teasingly because he doesn`t like to be called Ivano in private unless you called him John.

"Then stop calling me Ivano I`m Johnny okay? want me to spell it out for you?" Johnny raised his eyebrows at you while crossing his arms.

"Fine, fine sorry" you grin at him and shove him off of your chair to sit in it comfortably.

"So? when did you come back? you should have told me you know" you rant at him opening your laptop to explicate to him the new plan that you two have been plotting for approximately 5 years.

"I just got here yesterday night, what`s with the change of plan?" Johnny asked, making his self comfortable on the couch in front of you.

" We can`t stick to the old plan it might affect the others if we continue it so I change it, here look" Johnny stood up from his seat to move to your table and check the new plan.

"Illegal drugs transaction to sexual attraction?" Johnny read it with a furrowed eyebrows analyzing all of the pictures.

"Yes, Nakajima has been selling and importing drugs tricking their clients to buy it by using sexual attraction it`s been going on since the 2000s there are 5 lawyers who fight for this case but Nakajima is always playing the game dirty" you explain to him solemnly, showing him different files and pictures.

"I did some research about them last week the drug dealing is still going on around, we`re still finding Tajimamori Yamamoto one of their oldest lawyer and the most trusted. In the year 1998 Tajimamori fight for the Nakajima case until in the year 2000, Tajimamori just suddenly disappear out of nowhere without any traces. He`s the ace card that we need to find" Johnny explains tapping his fingers on the table, eyebrows furrowed.

"We don`t have much time left, we need to finish this within 6 months we can`t afford to lose this time" you lean back to your chair pinching your nose bridge.

Once this case opens up and once you win the case the Nakajima will fall, Takara Nakajima, you better get ready.

"Revenge is a dish best served cold," you said while clasping your hands together.

"Va servito freddo, that`s the spirit Y/n" Johnny smirk and so did you, without Johnny, this thing will be absurdity and nothing.

"Since you win a new case today lunch is on me c`mon let`s go," Johnny said and you take your purse and clung your arms to his, flashing him a bright smile.

Johnny drives into a nearby restaurant pulling up his car to the parking area when your phone opens by itself with a vibrate. Sign that someone is calling you, you look at Johnny and he nods at you as a gesture to answer the phone. He still didn`t turn off the ignition so you stay in the car and answer the phone.

"Hello? who is this?" you stated through the phone pretending that you don`t know the person calling you.

"Hi, I`m the Information hacker that you`ve called last week I just landed in Korea, can you tell me where I can meet you? I`m in your office right now." the person answered you playing along with your silly joke.

"Oh yeah, I`m in a nearby restaurant I`ll send you the address please feel free to join us for lunch," you said politely to the phone and ended it, you send the address and you go in with Johnny.

"Is that the Information hacker?" Johnny asked with a little off tone in his voice.

"Yeah, I invited him for lunch" you answered him and he only nodded.

"Ms. Ferrante?" you and Johnny heard someone called your name and you stood up from your sit to greet the person.

"It was nice to meet you" you greet him and he gives you a smile showing his whites pearly.

"The pleasure is mine," the guy said back and you smile at him.

"My name is..." the guy was about to Introduced himself when Johnny hastily cut him off.

"Ten Adriano Rossi" Johnny said while wiping his lips with a napkin.

"How did you know him?" you look at Johnny curiously, gesturing Ten to seat with a jaunty grin.

"Don`t you recognize him? he`s ten!" Johnny said calmly.

"Ten lee!?" you exclaimed acting like you don`t know him and he smiled at you opening his arms for you to hug him.

"I`m still here you know?" Johnny cleared his throat and rolled his eyes at you and Ten.

"Okay, okay no more funny business and let`s proceed to the plan," Ten said.

Johnny explained all of the new plans to Ten including the outline of the goals, objectives, measurements, action steps, and responsibilities for each step and negotiation.

"Here`s the information that you need about Tajimamori Yamamoto, he`s seen last week at Osaka and Tokyo and he soon flies to Toronto, Canada." Ten spoke and he settled the brown envelope on the table making sure no one is listening or looking at your conversation.

"Also, yesterday I was hacking the system of Nakajima enterprises but when this confidential file suddenly showed up, I think it`s the record of the money they have been Illegally pocketing," Ten said, sipping the coffee from the cup. The serious look never fading from his face.

"We should keep all of this evidence in a private place where we can easily find it but no one can, once we puzzled this informations and evidence we can open up the case against them with solid evidence that can make them fall," Johnny responded.

Get ready Nakajima the person who will destroy you is already plotting your worst nightmare, Il karma è un boomerang, il mio amato nemico; "karma is a boomerang, my beloved enemy."

Johnny and Ten excuses themselves for a minute to talk about something more private leaving you alone to clear your mind, when renjun`s number pops up on your phone screen. You didn`t answer it at first maybe he was just gonna ask you to buy something on your way home, it`s the 5th time he`s been calling you and it`s like he doesn`t want to stop until you answer. So, you finally answer the phone.

"Y/n!? what the fuck!? I`ve been calling you!" Renjun said through the phone the stress and nervousness in his voice are obvious.

"Watch your language Renjun, what is this time?" you asked him with a stern voice.

"Y/n, you need to get home we have a problem it`s hard to explain just go home right now okay?" Renjun said and he quickly cut the call.

You texted Johnny that you will go home first and he replied "Drive safe" that`s enough for you, you quickly drive to your home it`s a minute drive from the restaurant to home but you could care less how fast you`re driving right now. You know Renjun more than anyone, by just the tone of his voice you already know that something is off. Getting out of the car, you open the door of your house with Renjun behind Doyoung while pacing back and forth biting the tip of his finger.

"What`s going on!?" you asked them, sitting on the couch with heavy breathing.

"Doyoung, Hyung accidentally hack our own system, and the tax evasion record of Tremblay corp is locked and can`t be open" Renjun explained while Doyoung is fully focusing on the computer his finger tapping it so fast.

"What!? Kim Doyoung!" you said his name a little louder making him face you.

"Eojjeorago!? If Haechan is not being an ass and if he didn`t annoy me earlier I wouldn't have accidentally hacked our system!" Doyoung said, asking you what do you want him to do about it a little louder than yours.

"Geuraeso mwo!? I was telling you about the codes but you keep shoving me off!" Haechan fight back and Renjun and you sit there pinching your nose bridge in unison.

"Yah! you two come here now!" you exclaimed a little higher and louder than usual, the two of them stand in front of you and you stood up from your sit grabbing your handbag. At first, you calmly smile at them before hitting them lightly with your bag making them ran away and you chase them.

"Kim Doyoung! Lee Haechan! get your ass in here!" you yelled at them and their playful laugh is only what you heard.

"Y/n, calm down!" Renjun yelled while the three of you, Doyoung, and Haechan is running around the living room.

"Wait, let me explain okay!? Mianhe" Doyoung stops running holding his hands to his chest breathing heavily with Haechan. While Renjun is just standing there his hands resting on his hips stifling his laughter.

"Fine! and you two Johnny and Ten!" you glare at them, Johnny gulps and so did Ten awkwardly scratching their neck.

"You said that you`re just gonna talk in private but why are you two here!? you two went here first leaving me there!" you grab the pillow and throw it at them luckily they dodge it.

"Now explain" you sat back on the couch a sigh escaping your lips while rubbing your temple softly.

Doyoung explained everything about the system and how he can claim it back in just a few minutes and that`s enough to ease your worries. Of course, you trust Doyoung so much he`s like your sibling but losing all of the confidential files is different.

"Yun-o, this is the information we gathered about Chiara Allesandra Ferrante she`s also known as Y/n," Yuta said and he leaves the office when another person enters the door.

"Stop investigating her, you will get nothing" Johnny glares at Yun-o who is peacefully sipping the wine.

"Why? is it because she`s your cousin or maybe something else?" Yun-o dropped the envelope on the table chuckling at his response at Johnny.

"Stop putting any malice about me being protective to her will you? Jaehyun il ragazzo innamorato" Johnny tease him by calling him il ragazzo innamorato;"The lover boy"

"Well, stai zitto Ivano" Jaehyun tease back making Johnny glared at him again. stai zitto Ivano; "Shut up Ivano"

Jaehyun or Yun-o owner of Neo tech enterprises, one of the most successful men in South Korea, a pile of girls ready to get in his pants and ready to risk everything just for him. Jaehyun has a visual like Goddess if you`re gonna describe perfection many will use him as an example. Looks, style, professionalism, maturity you can see it all in him.

"I`m warning you Jaehyun," Johnny said seriously taking another sip of wine from his glass.

"I won`t do anything I swear" Jaehyun patted his best friend's shoulder going back to his seat.

"How`s the branch in New york going?" Jaehyun brought up the conversation about their joint company.

"It`s doing good, nothing bad so far but we might get ready we don`t know what will happen. I guess you know what I`m talking about since you`re investigating Y/n" Johnny responded, leaning to his seat with eyes shut. A lot is going on in his mind these days, and half of it is you.

"Well, we are well prepared for that. Just tell me whenever you need my help and by the way, I met Mr. Tremblay last week he seems like he`s in a hurry so we don`t have much time to talk" Jaehyun said staring into a space in his room going deep in his thoughts.

"Yeah, and I heard that his son is hitting on Y/n, his son is an amateur piece of shit," Johnny said letting out a "tsk" gulping down the wine he's drinking making Jaehyun sneer at Johnny.

"Jealousy, dude" Jaehyun tantalized.

"Shut up!" Johnny groaned.

"Ms. Ferrante you need to go with us!" The door of your office suddenly opens with a loud bang making you jolt in your sit and so did Kun.

"What!? this is absurd" Kun defended you holding your wrist preventing the officer from dragging you away.

"No, Kun it`s okay just call Johnny it`ll be fine," you said calmly before grabbing your bag, the police officer assisting you to follow them.

"I`ll come with you," Kun said keeping up with your pace of the walk.

Everyone outside the building is looking at you, sparing you one glance whispering to their partner's ears. Is gossiping a new trend now? it`s funny how people will talk about you and judge you easily when you just show them the part of you that you want them to see and they will act like they know the whole story of your life.

Arriving at the station the officer asked you to sit down so the interview will start.

"We`ll go straight to the point Ms. Ferrante, someone pointed out that you have been selling drugs and there`s one found in your car yesterday. We can finish this up if you cooperated with us" the police interrogated you, showing the evidence.

"I don`t sell drugs, I don`t do drugs, I never keep one," you said rolling your eyes.

"Then what is this then? a laundry powder?" the police ask sarcastically.

"Guarda, I`m not here so just you can tell and ask your not so lame jokes I said what I said, and can I possibly know who reported this bullshit?" you ask squinting your eyes at the officer, you`re not really like this but since you`re stress and for a woman who has a lot of works to do. This interview is a burden.

"Pick up, pick up, fucking pick up!" Kun grew impatient when Johnny is not answering his calls and messages after trying and trying Johnny finally answered the phone.

"Kun take it easy I`m with Jaehyun right now" and Johnny can feel that Kun has an irritated emotion written on his face right now.

"Yeah, you`re with Jaehyun right now while Y/n and I are in the police station right now uhuh," Kun said.

"Come here right now we need you" and then he ends the call waiting outside until the interview ends.

Hours have passed and the interrogating is still going on and Kun is still waiting for you. Johnny finally arrived, fixing the suit that he`s wearing he asked Kun where you are and he assists Johnny inside.

"John Ivano Ferrante, I`m Y/n`s lawyer," Johnny said full of professionalism.

They settled the problem after almost another 1 hour they finally let you leave. Out of curiosity and frustration wondering who decided to frame you. Of course, Takara is one of the options but maybe there is someone else.

"Can I ask who reported me?" letting out a hiss you ask the officer that arrested you.

"No" the officer simply responded to your question and Johnny holds your right arms. Johnny and you are ready to leave but you still want to know who it is so you turn around again.

"won`t you really gonna tell me?" you ask one more time and that`s enough for Johnny to drag you along with him.

"C`mon let`s go" Johnny drag you along with him but you keep removing his grip.

"One last question, please?" you look at Johnny with puppy eyes but it didn`t work so you stop it and stand straight walking out by yourself but before that, you punch his arms lightly enough for him to hold his arms before walking out.

"I hate you" and Johnny only smiles at himself like a fool before following you outside.

You walk outside and took a deep breath, you look for Kun only to see him leaning in Johnny`s car. You walk to him and he smiles at you.

"Thank you," you said at him.

"Kun, can you drive Y/n home for me? I gotta go somewhere," Johnny said giving Kun the key car. Sparing you a glance but you didn`t bother looking at him back, as if he`s not in front of you.

You go home with Kun the two of you use Johnny`s car and you`re worried about him you really do. The rain keeps pouring and it`s getting darker, more hours pass and you grew more worried the rain is getting heavy. You`re thinking how Johnny will get home in this weather, you lean your head against the windowpane the raindrops sliding outside of the pane when you see a glimpse of a familiar figure.

You ran downstairs as fast as you could grabbing a soft towel with you before opening the door. It`s Johnny, Johnny is soaked wet his hair sticking out in every direction possible, a cut in the lips, and bleeding knuckles. You look up at him with worried eyes and he smiled at you. You don`t know what to say but your next action makes him feel at ease, you hug him your chest touching his. The skin contact that makes him feel comfort.

"What happened?" you asked, you don`t know why you are tearing up when he`s the one in pain. He caressed your face softly and he still didn`t say anything. You invited him inside because it`s his home too. You hold his wrist guiding him in one of the rooms, you don`t know if it`s your room but you could care less until you put an ointment and bandage in his wounds. You make Johnny sit on the bed and handed him a towel while you go in the bathroom to get the things you needed.

You slowly applied the ointment on Johnny`s lips where the cut is while your hands are slightly shaking, not minding the tears that are brimming out of your eyes. You next hold his hands to yours softly and more tear brim in your eyes, you`re so weak when it comes to Johnny and you don`t know what to feel about it.

"I-I`ll do it," Johnny said removing his hands from yours before you grab it again.

"No! I`ll do it!" you said through your sobs, wiping your tears away.

"I can do..." you didn`t let Johnny what he was about to say because you know what it is.

"No! I`ll do it, you said you`re just gonna go somewhere but why do you have this cut and wounds in your body!? I hate it!" you said letting it out as your sobs get louder and Johnny only stayed silent. You covered his knuckles with a bandage softly while he let out a loud hiss.

"You`re strong but why do you let your body take all of this!? you know I hate it when something like this happens to you" you exclaimed tears are still falling from your eyes, you touch the cut on his lips again making him hiss.

The two of you stare at each other for a brief moment and Johnny brushes away the strands of hair that are covering your face when your emotion took over you. Your lips landed on his soft ones with your eyes closed he didn`t kiss back, you`re about to pull away when he holds your nape kissing you back. The two of you stay like that for a fleeting moment.

The two of you pulled away forehead resting on one another when the bedsheet cover suddenly moves revealing Ten with a teasing grin making you pull away from Johnny.

"Is it necessary to make out in my room?" Ten asked still wearing the annoying teasing grin on his face.

"S-shut up!" you said and you walk out of the room leaving Johnny and Ten alone.

"How is it?" Ten didn`t stop teasing Johnny so he grabs the pillow and throws it at ten softly before plopping down at the bed letting his body sink in it.

You open the door of your room and you straightly go to your bed burying your face at the pillow out of embarrassment, tossing around the bed messing it up.

"Did you just kiss your cousin? did you just kiss Johnny Suh? It`s okay, right? the two of us are not blood-related anyways so nothing to worry about yes? no?" burying your face on the pillow once again letting out a muffled scream.

The boys decided to have dinner all at once at home so they ordered food for all of you they start calling you, you just keep answering "Okay" so they decided to stop when your stomach makes a grumbling noise. You open the door of your room only to see Johnny`s fist in the air may be to knock? and you look down.

"A-about earlier" you`re about to apologize to Johnny when he cuts you off.

"It`s okay don`t flutter yourself," Johnny said with a smile and you go downstairs with him.

"Don`t Flutter? who said I`m fluttering myself!?" you scoffed and walk past him closing your eyes for a moment from embarrassment.

"Hey, wait up!" Johnny said grabbing your shoulders.

"Let me walk with you" he added.

The rest of you gathered in the dining room. Laughter, warmth, comfort, are filling up the whole room. Oh, gosh you know how much you miss this after almost a year of not being complete you on the times where you only have Renjun, Jaemin, and Haechan besides you.

"This pizza tastes delicious don`t you think so?" you nodded and giggled, your cheeks stuffed with pizza. All of you are laughing that you didn`t even realize who`s the person beside you, you stay silent for a moment before y`all turn your head once again to the person beside you.

"Mark Lee!" you exclaimed locking him with a tight hug.

"Dude, I can`t breath," Mark said tapping your back lightly and you back away.

"Sorry I got carried away" you beam at him and every one of them hugs him what a beautiful and pleasant event.

"Announcement! we`re all having a party tomorrow so don`t miss out, I`ll tell y`all the location" Mark happily announced, and y`all cheered stuffing your mouth with food.

You excuse yourself to talk with Mark in private, the two of you sat in the living room looking around before proceeding to talk. Mark looks at you with confused eyes.

"So, what`s going on with Mr. Tremblay?" You asked Mark and now he finally understands.

"About that, he`s company is not doing well plus his son keeps asking me about you that I can`t even go on with a day without him asking me things about you since I sign a partnership with them," Mark answered with a sigh before pulling you into a hug and you rest your head to his arms.

"Is Takara invited to the party?" you ask him while you stare at the ceiling and he plays with your hair.

"Yes, she`s Invited" Mark simply responded.

"Can I ask you a favor for tomorrow?" you asked while looking back up at him.

"Sure, what is it?" you smiled at him for agreeing at first he didn`t buy the idea but there`s no way he can say no to you.

"Thank you, Mark!" you cheered.

"Papà! you should`ve decline! out of all people why Takara!?" you barged in your father`s office throwing a tantrum as soon as you go face to face with him.

"Don`t raise voice at me Y/n! I`m still your father" your father defends which makes you more frustrated.

"Papà! you know that we can`t have any connection with them when it comes to running a company! this might ruin my plan why did you let them sign the contract!" you can`t help but raise your voice frustration is creeping inside you and you can`t help but let it out.

"Trust me Y/n this will help you sooner or later you will realize it," your father said. How can he be so calm when you`re out here in front of him letting your frustration out.

"Cazzo! this is ridiculous!" you fight back.

"Watch your language Y/n!" you had enough and you don`t think you can go on with this conversation.

"I`m done okay? I`m done!" you left your father`s office angrily closing the door walking fast not caring if anyone is looking.

Your father just makes a contract of partnership with Nakajima`s that makes you infuriated early in the morning. How can he sign an agreement with them?

"Did I just mention the plan to my father!? No, don`t worry Y/n he won`t get it" you talk to yourself taking a deep breath before entering your car, you called Johnny and tell him to meet you in your office in an hour.

"Why did you call me here?" Johnny asked while leaning in the doorway.

"Nice timing let`s go and help me find a dress to wear" you dragged him with you.

Johnny keeps whining about how you can ask for Wendy`s help but you keep shutting him from talking, you tried so many dresses and he keeps saying no which makes you pissed off. You choose a dress a long one and a short one for an option you bought it, it was color red you choose the long one with a deep sidecut that shows the skin of your legs.

Arriving at the party it`s fabulous and it`s full of people around your age mid-20s and the ones in their 20s you spend the whole night drinking when this beautiful handsome man approaches you.

"Pleasure to meet you I`m Jung Jaehyun," He said offering his hands for you to shake it.

"Ciara Allessandra Ferrante but I`m more comfortable being called Y/n plus don`t act dumb I know you. I`m not a fool I know you hire someone to follow me and investigate me, I know by this time you know all of my plans but don`t worry I know you're trustworthy, and you`re friends with my friends." you took his hands to yours and you gladly shake it.

"Jaehyun? I`ve been looking for you" you heard a familiar voice and you`re completely sure it`s Johnny.

"Chill," Jaehyun said with a smile.

"Ciao Y/n I hope you will like my April fools surprise," she said slipping away the wine your holding.

Takara already left and the whole place gets full and crowded with businessmen, suddenly everyone becomes quiet when the news starts playing.

"Breaking news the well-known CEO and Founder of Phoenix corporation have been found dead at exactly 8:30 PM in his house there`s still no answer what is the cause of death" everyone gasp and you can feel a tear escaping your eyes.

"Papà, this is not real!" you said and you walk out of the party going to your dad but Johnny prevented you from doing so.

"Let go!" you said removing his grasp and he holds you tight to his embrace.

"Your father asked me a favor to not make you see him, he wants you to see him when he`s in the coffin" you didn`t hug him back but you keep crying.

"He`s still my father Johnny I want to see him!" you fight back pushing him through his chest but he won't budge. Of course, he`s stronger than you.

"Let`s go home tomorrow you`ll see him" Johnny whispered at you and you can see Jaehyun looking at you with pity in his eyes.

"You!" you point at Jaehyun.

"Me?" he answered.

"Yes, you who else?" you talk.

"I want you to join us I know that`s your whole point of investigating me anyway," you said sternly and they all look at you.

"What?" you rolled your eyes at them.

"Tomorrow we have something to do, we`ll make our first move of the plan starting tomorrow I can`t tolerate this anymore after what Nakajimas do to my father.

You throw the glass of wine you`re holding in the wall staining it red, your hands holding tight the table with fire eyes in your eyes throwing daggers anger, guilt, and sorrow that`s all you can feel right now.

"It`s hard to enter that place unless you`re a guess they will let you in mostly couples. So, we need you and Jaehyun to pretend like the two of you are a couple" Jeno spoke you`re about to complain but Johnny already did.

"Couple!? them!?" he exclaimed.

"Yeah, anything wrong with that?" Jeno questioned.

"Nothing" he responded almost whining.

The whole planning already finishes and you`re in your room with Johnny laying in your bed comfortably tossing around.

"I don`t get it out of all people in this house why you and Jaehyun?" Johnny complains while you dry your hair.

"There`s nothing wrong with that plus I think Jaehyun kinda look handsome" you try to test the water and how he would react.

"Yeah, right whatever do whatever you want" Johnny rolled his eyes and you giggled at his response.

"Jealous now are we?" you teased.

"Me Jealous? no way" he said facing the other side of the bed.

"How about we date? I mean it`s not like we`re blood-related we can easily cut ties and we can announce it for the world to know after we make the Nakajimas fall. Sounds good yeah? no?" you ask him seriously and he faces you.

"Really? like for real? but I`m 2 years older than you thought" he said caressing your face softly.

"It`s not like we have a big age gap, why don`t we try it?" you talked scooting closer to him.

"I don`t see why not?" he replied and you smiled at him.

"Does this mean we`re official?" Johnny asks you.

"Yes, baby," you said teasingly.

"Call me that again," he said back.

"No way" you replied and he hugs you, you spend the whole night with Johnny and the two of you surely have fun. It`s doing okay until Kun decided to barge in your room without even knocking.

"We found Tajimamori Yamamoto he`s currently in Tokyo right now, Johnny we need to fly to Tokyo this might be the last chance that we have to find him," Kun said showing the taken picture of Tajimamori leaving his car.

"We`ll fly tomorrow morning we need Jungwoo to come with us, get everything ready" Johnny responds as you stay quiet.

"Go and pack your things, Kun I`ll book you a flight" you talk and Johnny looks at you before standing up.

"I`ll help you pack your things" you added and he gave you a peck on the lips.

"How many days do you think you will stay there?" you ask him.

"For at least 5 days or 7," he answered.

"Take care make sure you come back without any scars I don`t want to lose you like my dad" you softly said, caressing his face to your hands.

You helped Johnny pack his things and you already book them a flight that will leave tomorrow morning. You slept in Johnny`s room and you make sure to embrace him because you can`t see him personally for at least 5 days or 7.

You wake up without Johnny by your side instead you wake up with Doyoung and Haechan bickering outside the room door, you tried to cover your ears with the pillow but you decided that it`ll be better if you stand up and stop them.

"Finally you wake up! go and take a bath we have a lot of things to do today" Ten said pushing you to your room as you watch the house gets chaotic every second.

"Tax evasion, Illegal drug dealing, murder, sexual assault. We can sue them by using this plus we have Tajimamori as a witness" you explain, gripping the marker your holding too hard that it makes your palms white.

"I can`t hack the system of Nakajima the file that holds their tax evasion can`t be open I need to be somewhere close to them," Ten said along with Doyoung, all of you think of a way to hack their system.

"Tremblay, Tremblay corp! we can enter Mr. Tremblay's office easily since he`s in Canada I heard that he will be back this Saturday. Mark, you can help us right? you're the only one who is closest to him" you talk as you wait for Mark`s answer.

"Yes, that`ll be easy since his secretary knows me. After that, we can finally file the case and go on, but the only problem is that Jungwoo texted me that they`re having a hard time since they land in Japan. Tajimamori seems to notice that they`re following him" Mark let out a sigh and so did you.

"Can we stop this for a moment there`s nothing but a problem here since I arrived," Mark said which makes you slightly offended at his statement?

"What did you just say?" you asked him with a stern voice.

"Look, Im tired okay?" Mark groaned.

"Neither am I but did you ever hear me complain!?" you fight back.

"Everything is not about you! not everything revolves around you so please if you don`t mind I`ll excuse myself for a moment" Mark leaves the room frustrated, he doesn`t know what`s wrong with him but he knows it`s wrong to let out his anger and frustration at you when you feel just the same way as him. He`s not been himself this fast few days because of what happened to your late father who treats him like he is his own son.

"Y`all can rest if you want, you can leave too if you want to, just say it you all know that I`m not forcing y`all into this," you speak softly before leaving the room with a small smile but deep inside you`re hurt.

You took a deep breath after leaving the room you saw Mark in the living room, you tried avoiding his gaze scared that he`s still not in the mood to talk. He`s watching the TV and you stop in your track when you heard the news, you look at the TV and you can see Wendy`s house and they blurred the body, you know it`s Wendy just by the body you know it`s her out of all people why does the world decide to be cruel to you.

"No, no, not her please tell me it`s not her" you broke down in tears as Mark catches you in his arms, you fell to your knees as your sobs et louder while Mark tries to comfort you. Jaehyun watch what`s happening in front of him, he does feel bad for you. You ran upstairs and grab your keys going outside with others trying to prevent you from leaving.

"Y/n, stop!" Mark`s hold your wrist while you look at him with teary eyes.

"No, Mark I have to see my best friend please, please let go" you remove his grip and he stays quiet as he watches your small figure enter your car.

You arrived at the hospital where you see your best friend's cold and pale body.

"How can they be so heinous!? why do they have to kill you!?" you cry in front of your best friend`s lifeless body.

"Just let it out" you look at the person beside you and it`s Jaehyun, did he follow you? you wiped your tears away standing back up.

"Why did you follow me?" you asked.

"Because you`re not in the right condition right now and I know there`s a lot more going on in your minds" you look at him, his side profile is surely attractive and also comforting.

"Thank you Jaehyun I know I just met you personally last week but I mean it" you spoke softly and he smiled, facing you, he holds you by your shoulders crouching down a little making an eye to eye level.

"It`s okay, I know you for a year now because of the investigation thingy I hope that doesn`t make you uncomfortable that I brought that up," He said showing his attractive smile.

"Forget about the couple thingy that we have to pretend I already talk to Mark, just like what he said earlier we can easily enter Mr. Tremblay`s office so try to worry less okay?" Jaehyun tries to comfort you as much as he can. The two of you go around the town making you forget about everything, you wish you can be with Johnny at a time like this but you know he`s in Japan.

Three days have passed and you grew closer with Jaehyun, you expect Johnny to arrive tonight because they finally persuade Tajimamori to be the witness.

It`s past midnight and still no sign of Johnny so you decided to wait a little more until you just decided to go to bed and welcome him tomorrow morning.

"Babe? baby wake up" you slightly open your eyes because you feel someone poking your cheeks, your eyes are still blurry so can`t see the person clearly.

"Johnny?" you whispered.

"Yeah, it`s me sorry for waking you up I just need to hear your voice" you smile at his sweetness before going back to sleep.

"Go inside I`ll wait here," Mark said, looking left to the right to check if anyone sees you and Jaehyun entering.

"Doyoung, Ten? we`re in" you said connecting the device they gave you to the pc. They started doing what they have to do as you watch closely when you can feel the cold metal in your neck.

"Jaehyun, what are you doing?" freezing at your position.

"Nothing, it`s just so funny how you trust me so easily Y/n" He let out a chortle.

"What do you really want?" you question with your eyes close.

"I`m the one who should ask you that, you said you want revenge but your revenge is too boring why don`t we spice it up a bit hmm?" Jaehyun spoke while you stay still.

"What do you want me to do then? Kill Takara?" you don`t where you get that kind of braveness because these days you`ve been down.

"Exactly, how about we do that just the two of us?" Jaehyun removes the blade that threatening to cut your skin.

Doyoung and Ten finish what they`re doing and you leave the building along with Mark, everyone that there`s something very different from how you`re acting since you leave the building but they didn`t mention it.

"Make sure to keep your promise" you whispered at Jaehyun.

"I love you" Johnny whispered at you.

"I love you too," you said back.

"I want the world to know that you`re mine, you want that too baby?" Johnny said kissing your neck, softly marking you.

"Johnny please," you said with temptation in your voice.

"Please what baby?" Johnny asked you with a seductive voice.

"I want you inside me, I want you to touch me and make me feel so good" you whine making him let out a breathy chuckle at your eagerness.

"Will do princess" he answered.

That night you and Johnny take your time with feeling each other as if there`s no tomorrow for it.

After that night you have been very distant to Johnny and almost everyone in the house can perceive it. You want to distance yourself because you don`t want him to be hurt so it`ll be better this way, it`s better this way. You keep convincing your day every single day that almost every day you argue with him because that`s the only way you can push him away, you want him not to love you anymore.

Today you saw Johnny with a girl and you can`t help but get jealous but what can you do? he`s still your boyfriend. Of course, you will get jealous but why now when you`re pushing him away.

"I told you already she`s an old colleague! nothing more!" Johnny said with a pissed voice.

"Yeah right, an old colleague who loves touching you did you even see yourself earlier you just let her!" you fight back with a loud voice that the boys outside can hear the two of you arguing.

"What kind of boyfriend do that!?" you continued.

"Woah, then what kind of girlfriend accused his own boyfriend of cheating when it`s not even real!" Johnny retorted making you quiet because it`s true and you don`t have anything about that.

"See? I`m right you keep pushing me off! you can`t even look me in the eyes these days and it`s making me sick, thinking what I have done to make you act like this. It`s so fucking tiring!" he retorted as he slammed the door when he leaves your room.

Everyone keeps themselves busy as if they never heard the argument between you and Johnny. Yes, they`re shocked about the relationship between you and him but it`s not their business to interfere.

You cry yourself to sleep while Johnny gets drunk to sleep, tomorrow is the day where you`re gonna meet up with Jaehyun in the place where the two of you talked about.

"I don`t get it! she keeps pushing me away and it hurts! do you know what I`m fucking saying Jaehyun!?" He said drinking beer to beer nonstop as Jaehyun watch his friend get drunk not even stopping him but why?

"Just give her some time maybe she`s tired" Jaehyun responded.

"I always do that but why is it not enough!?" Johnny cried out.

"Envious causes jealousy and jealousy causes hatred, hatred turns Treacherous causing sins to one another," you said letting out a sarcastic chortle.

"I`m still not satisfied" you retorted emphasizing each word that is coming out of your lips.

"You drag me into this, this heinous sin that you`ve started is burning inside me. Now, everything doesn`t satisfy me anymore" you yelled the tension getting thicker and thicker.

"Even though you`re gonna kill me you will get nothing, justice is in my palms in this accursed world," Takara intruded your arguing with Jaehyun, writhing her tied body on the chair.

"Kill me!" Takara said shooting you a bloodshot glare that only makes your enjoyment alive as you slowly walk towards her with a gun in your hand.

"Takara, Takara, Takara, you see this? this Russian pistol is what I`m going to use to kill you so don`t try me. Now, what part of your body should I shoot first? back of the head, chest, or maybe your mouth it`ll be more enjoyable that way honey. Oh, another idea maybe I should just strangle you to death" you give her face a few taps on her cheeks the leer in your eyes never leaving hers while she hitches her breath scared that any minute you can pull the trigger on her.

"You have no conscience, do you?" Takara spoke again with a smirk forming on her lips making you more annoyed and tempted to kill her.

"Of course I don`t, because you know what? It`s a pity the law doesn`t allow me to be merciful that`s what Javert said in Les Miserables and that`s literally me right now you Figlio di puttana!" you cursed breathily giving her a devilish grin making her slap you with her one free hand holding your face you glare at her, anger building up inside you.

"Merde! do that again and I`ll kill you!" you hold her side to side eyes widening but Takara only laughs at you and you slap her too before you turn your back at her.

"fuzakeru na! kill me so you can live longer and live in sorrow, happiness doesn`t exist in the world we`re born but the pain does" she shout with anger in her voice and now she reaches your limit.

"I know, want me to end your pain? then I will, I`ll make sure you suffer and Roth in hell! I will let you know what it feels like to be ripped every single day just like what you did to my best friend when she`s the only one who can understand me in this accursed world! you won`t be here if isn`t for your family`s greed, jealousy, and hatred towards mine!" You shout back pointing the gun at her turning back around to face her.

"A fanabla! Takara" you pull the trigger and shoot her straight at her chest making you fell on your knees with tears brimming in your eyes.

"Why am I even crying?" you wiped your tears away as you slowly stood up and spit to your side.

"You want it, you get it. Ciao Takara" you laugh smirk is drawn on your lips as you walk out of the abandoned place with Jaehyun while whistling like a psycho.

"Nice shoot out there" you`re startled by Jaehyun`s voice you thought Johnny was the one using your bathroom but when you turned around you`re eye to eye with Jaehyun water droplets falling from his abs with a towel covering his torso down.

"What the fuck are you doing here!?" you said eyes widening.

"Using your bathroom obviously" he answered coming closer to you.

"and who permitted you to use it!? get out!" you pushed him away but he put his shirt back on luckily his wearing his shorts under his towel only to come closer dangerously close that you can feel his hot breath panning to yours.

You back away until the back of your knees hit the bed making you fall with Jaehyun hovering above you, you know this is wrong and you need to stop Jaehyun.

"Stop!" you keep moving away from him but before you can push him the door suddenly burst open with Johnny looking at the two of you his eyes screaming anger, jealousy, hate, and sadness he feels betrayed. He drops the bouquet on the floor grabbing Jaehyun by his collar.

"I trusted you, you bastard!" Johnny was about to throw a punch on Jaehyun when you stop him.

"Baby no it`s not like that, it`s not what you think it is" you plead, holding his arms.

"So, this is the reason why you`ve been so distant to me lately huh?" Johnny glares at you, this is the first time you see him this fuming mad.

"What the fuck!? of course not!" you defended.

Within a second he throws a punch at Jaehyun which Jaehyun gives back at him you tried to stop them but they are much stronger compared to you.

"Johnny please stop" you shout at them making them stop from gripping each other.

Johnny fixes his clothes giving you a painful glance before leaving, why the fuck are you crying when Johnny is the one in pain right now. You quickly follow him not giving a fuck about Jaehyun.

"Johnny please wait, listen to me please, just please" you plead as you grab a hold of his wrist there`s also a tear escaping his eyes which breaks you more.

"Stop! stop okay? I don`t need any of your explanation" he said coldly before shutting the door of his room.

You stand there dumbfounded with your eyes brimming in tears you go back to your room Jaehyun is trying to apologize but it angers you more, irritating you more, hurting you more.

"Get the fuck out of my sight!" you exclaimed as you push him away.

"I don`t want your apology, your sorry won`t fix anything okay!? now live me the fuck alone!" you`re livid and you`re in your pain. Why are you always the one receiving the pain?

Jaehyun doesn`t say anything anymore leaving you alone, you cried your eyes out. You lost your father, you lost wendy, you lost Johnny. What else do they want to take away from you? sometimes you just wanna sleep and get deep in it so you will never wake up in this realm.

"Johnny listen to me! what you saw there is nothing I swear please, just please at least talk to her. I`m sorry" Jaehyun rub his face using his palms out of stress and frustration while guilt is creeping up in his body.

"Quit with your bullshits! what do you want me to do? believe you after you deceive me by using Y/n? do you think I didn`t know that the two of you killing Takara? Well, fuck this because Y/n didn`t really kill her! It`s Kun" Johnny retorted. Well, Jaehyun is not shocked about Kun killing Takara since he`s an International agent. He glares at Jaehyun who`s speechless at his older friend's outburst.

"Okay, that shit is on me but don`t let it out on her for fuck sake Johnny the one you witness earlier is not what you think it is! I use her bathroom and decided to tease her not seduce her" A sigh escape Johnny`s lips throwing his head back out of mixed emotion.

"Get out I need some time alone" Johnny spoke without looking at his friend, he let his body fall on the mattress running his hands to his face.

You`ve been lying in your bed for a few hours now and so did Johnny making everyone worried and they didn`t even see a single glimpse of Jaehyun. You`re ashamed so ashamed to talk and face them, you`re the one who plans this revenge but you end up ruining it. Of course, you know it`s not you who kill Takara, you heard it from Johnny and there`s nothing more to deny it.

You really want to see him, you really want to feel him, you really want to apologize. Gathering your courage getting a little bit shameless you got up from your bed opening the door you flinch slightly when you see Johnny standing in front of you, his fist in the air maybe he's about to knock? there`s an awkward tension between the two of you. His eyes that full of love every day is now emotionless.

"D-do you want to come in?" you manage to let out but he didn`t say anything.

He cups your face landing his soft lips on yours pulling you back inside your room. He closes the door using his feet, you pull away from him avoiding his intense gaze. He softly touches your chin making you look at him before kissing you again this time it`s passionate and slow. You want him to stop, you really do but you can`t resist him. Within a moment you`re kissing him back too.

A soft moan escapes your lips as you and Johnny let your body fall on the mattress. Johnny hovering above you makes you feel small underneath him it awaken your inner desires. Johnny leaves traces of wet kisses on your neck making you yearn for his touch. He removes his shirt and so did you, throwing it somewhere in the room.

Tongues pressed together in a hot open-mouthed kiss as he kneaded your breast his other hands slowly making it`s way to your clothed core slowly removing it he rub your sensitive clit.

He stops for a moment before pulling away making you whine lightly at the sudden loss of contact. He removes his pants and boxer tossing it somewhere in the room again before positioning himself in between your legs, pushing in slowly his thrust is deep and slow making you moan in pleasure.

"I-I`m sorry" you let out breathily.

His thrust getting a little bit faster making you grip the sheets as he buried his face at the crook of your neck. You know this will be the last time you can feel him this close to you, the last time you can feel his love for you, the last time he will make you feel loved.

"D-don`t stop please" you stuttered out as tears fall from your eyes.

"Don`t cry you know it hurts me too" he kisses your tears away, his thrust getting sloppy as you can feel yourself about to reach your orgasm.

"Baby I`m gonna cum" you moaned gripping him tightly throwing your head back.

"Neither am I, cum for me," he said softly.

He goes to the bathroom to clean you up and getting a shirt in your closet which is his shirt.

"Is this the last time?" you asked him as he slid the shirt in your body before covering you with the blanket.

"Please, I`m sorry. I`ll do anything for you just please don`t leave me you know you`re the only one I have" you cried. You know you still have the others who treat you like their own sister but Johnny is different.

"Y/n our love it`s not just about holding on sometimes it`s about letting go too it`s treacherous if we love each other in this time it can lead to something else" He manages to speak despite of the lump forming in his throat. You sob in his shoulder clutching his shirt not wanting to let go.

"You need to rest, I want you to close your eyes until you heard the door close. Promise me to not open it" you nodded removing your grip on his shirt, you softly lay in your bed. Johnny kissed you on the forehead, you cry more when you can`t feel his warmth close to you anymore.

You heard the soft click of the door closing, you keep your promise you didn`t open your eyes. The memories you made with him flashes in your mind as you fall asleep.

Johnny stops midway before getting his luggage in his room "I love you" he whispered while looking at your room`s door. Proceeding to do his thing with tears brimming out of his eyes.

It`s currently 2:00 AM now and Jaehyun is accompanying Johnny to the airport.

"I`m sorry for what I`ve done I didn`t mean it as that" Jaehyun asks for forgiveness which Johnny gives back with a smile.

"It`s really not your fault and not Y/n`s fault I really have to do this" Johnny said but Jaehyun didn`t get it.

"Do you really have to leave?" Jaehyun asks once again Johnny nodded before leaving his friend alone the smile on his face quickly fades away as sadness took over it.

“I let go because I want you to hold on a little more longer I`ll promise to be back” Johnny said while tears slowly fall from his eyes, looking at the picture the two of you took together.

‘It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves’ - William Shakespeare

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