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sunkissed-zegras · 3 months

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𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝐚 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡. | delicate au, jack hughes

౨ৎ ─ summary | this takes place in late august of 2023, a little before the njd season started. jack hughes dm's the girl the whole internet thinks he's dating and invites her to a pre-season get-together at his house.

─ word count | 1.9k

─ warnings | anxiety, some flirting? nothing else!

─ taglist | @dancerbailey3 @valluvsu @daisysnhl @dasiysthings @iminlovewithtz11 @literatureluster @lvrzegras @lxvleyzoe @bowen-power @ru-kru @jackhughesily @hearts-for-luke

─ ev's notes | please lmk ur thoughts on this au so far! i, of course, always read ur guys feedback so anything would be very much appreciated.

Accept message request from jhughes (jackhughes)?

jhughes: have you seen twitter? we're trending 🤣 jhughes: looks like i'm your bf now 🤷🏻🤷🏻

libbytf: yeah um i don't even know how that happened😭 libbytf: they're crazy, that's not either of us?

jhughes: it does really look like us though haha 🤣 i don't blame them

libbytf: the more i look the photos the more i disagree lol, i hope they figure it out on their own 😭

jhughes: haha yeah [seen]

jhughes: me and luke are having a pre season party, you should come if ur free jhughes: oh and if leon wants you to hahaha😭

libbytf: when is it? i'll see if i can come and if i'm in town

jhughes: next saturday at our new place

libbytf: i'll let you know!

jhughes: k lmk ( 👍🏻 )

Libby stared down at her screen, trying to comprehend what had just happened. Did she just get asked out?

She received the message later that day and she was surprised that Jack Hughes had messaged her. She wasn't starstruck or anything but he didn't seem like the "dm" type, he looked more like the type to approach you in public.

She shook her head, she didn't even know if he was hitting on her. He probably wasn't even trying to come off that way, he probably just needed more people at his party. And the truth was, after the whole "Josh" thing, she didn't really have anything to do because everyone in the world was seemingly against her. The messy breakup with Josh had left her feeling exposed, as if every aspect of her personal life was now fair game for public scrutiny.

She had been under the spotlight for years now, long before she had even considered the idea of being a singer. Her sister and father were already apart of the "Hollywood" circle, she has seen this kind of stuff before. She's never been apart of the gossip, though - this was the first time she'd been in the spotlight for a bad reason.

Growing up in the shadow of her sister's and father's fame had accustomed her to the entertainment industry and all the drama that came with it. But now, as the fallout from her breakup with Josh engulfed her, Libby found herself thrust into uncharted territory. The barrage of rumors and gossip had stripped away the layers of privacy she had worked so hard to preserve, leaving her feeling vulnerable.

Libby couldn't even turn to her music anymore, she felt like it was no use because the whole internet (and their moms) hated her for no reason other than her relationship, or lack thereof.

She was pulled out of her thoughts as she felt her phone buzz on her bed. She reached for it lazily and opened it, reading the message.

leon 😛 are you down for something this weekend?

Libby typed out a quick response.

libs 🥸 depends

leon 😛 me and some of the team are gonna have a party this weekend to celebrate the start of the season, they told me to bring someone and ur all i have

leon 😛 unless u say no i'll ask someone else

libs 🥸 jack already asked me so sure :)

leon 😛 wait so ur his plus one?

libs 🥸 no bc he's the literal host, he just invited me😭😭

leon 😛 thats weird but okay, can u still be my plus one

libs 🥸 idk if that'll change anything but sure!!

She sighed at her brother's slight stupidity. It sounds like she was going to be going to the party this weekend. As she agreed, Libby couldn't help but feel a twinge of anxiety about attending Jack's party. The thought of facing a bunch of strangers, each with their own preconceived notions about who she was, made her stomach churn.

Before she could turn off her phone, her phone buzzed and she looked at the notification.

jhughes (jackhughes) started following you!

──

"Have you been on Twitter?" Leon spoke up as he drove, his eyes glancing toward Libby before focusing back on the road.

She shrugged, "Yeah. Why?"

"Everyone thinks you're dating Jack, it's kinda funny. Isn't this like, your first time meeting him?" Leon replied with a small laugh, shaking his head.

"It's pretty dumb, isn't it?" Libby replied, her voice tinged with amusement. "Well this is like my second or third time meeting him so it's not like we're strangers but still, we're far from strangers."

"Are you sure about that? He messaged you." Leon joked as he smirked at you as you rolled your eyes. She knew he was joking but a part of her thought that maybe he was flirting with her. But Libby could not even mention that to Leon because it'll make him go crazy, staying quiet was the better option.

"Shut up," Libby mumbled as Leon laughed. "The pictures aren't even us, you know?"

"The guy looks a lot like Jack but not you. It's so funny especially because everyone swears that they know you so well but they can't even tell the difference you and some other person." Leon grinned, clearly enjoying the absurdity of the situation. "Well, I guess the internet just loves drama. Can't blame them for trying to spice things up, it is fun."

"I just hope people figure it out soon," Libby sighed, glancing out of the car window at the passing city lights. "I mean, it's not like I need more rumors right now."

Leon shrugged. "Yeah, I get it. But you know what they say, any publicity is good publicity."

"Yeah at least I'll know my new album will get tons of new streams, thanks to Josh's fangirls."

"You mean dickriders? Jesus, have you seen the comments?" Leon scoffed, making a turn to Jack and Luke's home.

Libby sighed, her shoulders slumping as she leaned back against the car seat. "Yeah, I've seen them. It's like they're just waiting for the opportunity to tear me apart completely, I can't even go on Instagram anymore."

Leon's expression softened with empathy as he reached out to place a comforting hand on Libby's arm. "They're just fucking bored, that's all. They have to tear someone down to feel better. Don't let them get to you."

Libby nodded, grateful for her brother's words of encouragement. "I know, it's just hard sometimes, you know? Feels like I'm constantly under a microscope."

Leon nodded in understanding, his gaze unwavering in its support. "Yeah, I get it. But remember, those comments don't define you. You're so much more than what people say about you."

Libby managed a small smile as they reached Jack's home. The night air was crisp as Libby and Leon made their way towards Jack's home. The distant noise from the party spilled into the quiet neighborhood as they walked towards the entrance.

The home was pretty big but you weren't surprised, they were really good and popular hockey players so of course they had a big home. However, as you walked into their porch, you noticed how clean it was. Not many boys in their twenties kept their homes so clean and organized but Libby was pleasantly surprised at how clean their home was and she hadn't even been inside yet.

Leon gave the door a few knocks before the door opened to reveal Jack, a big grin on his face and a backwards cap on his head. "Leon! You made it!"

"Yeah, and I brought Libs!" Leon grinned back at Jack as his gaze finally fell on Libby, she felt his eyes scan her body before they landed on her eyes once again.

Libby felt a slight flush rise to her cheeks as she met Jack's gaze. His warm smile putting her at ease as she returned it, trying to ignore the flutter of nerves in her stomach.

"Awesome! Come on in, guys." Jack ushered them inside, the sounds of the party becoming more pronounced as they stepped inside.

"There's some chips in the kitchen and you guys can just help yourself to the drinks inside the fridge, just don't drink any of our protein smoothies." Jack side glanced to Leon playfully, in which he responded with a quick fine. "Everyone's in the living room playing pool."

"I'm gonna go get a beer, if y'all don't mind." Leon called out as he headed towards the kitchen, leaving Libby and Jack by the entrance.

As Leon left, Libby shifted her gaze to Jack with a warm smile. There was a brief awkward silence before Jack broke it, "I didn't know that you lived in Jersey."

"Well I don't but ever since Leon's moved here I've been spending every second at his place. I actually live in New York City but it gets a little hectic, I need a break sometimes from... everything." Libby explained as she recalled all the drama from the summer, from everything with Olivia to Josh, it was eventful.

Jack nodded, his expression sympathetic as he listened to Libby's explanation. "I get it. New York can be intense, especially with everything going on."

Libby sighed, feeling a weight lift off her shoulders as she spoke about the challenges she faced. "Yeah, it's been a lot to deal with lately. Sometimes, it's nice to escape to somewhere quieter, you know?"

Jack's gaze softened with understanding. "I get it. I'm sorry by the way, with the whole uh... thing." Jack didn't really want to specify but they both knew as Libby nodded.

Libby gave him a sweet smile but before she could respond, Luke came in wearing a Devils jersey. "Dude I've been looking everywhere for you, there's something wrong with the-" He cut himself as he noticed Libby.

"Hey Luke." Libby greeted the tall curly-head with a grin as he walked over to where Libby was and gave her a side hug as Jack observed.

"Libby! I haven't seen you in a while, how's everything?" Luke asked casually as he pulled back.

"Can't complain." You spoke with a small grin as you looked in between the boys. "You?"

"Very excited for the new season, I don't know if you could tell." Luke chuckled as he looked down at the jersey.

Libby couldn't help but chuckle at Luke's enthusiasm. Even though she's never formally met Jack, her and Luke have a pretty good friendship through Leon. As soon as they met they clicked and now they're practically tied at the hip. "Hmm... I couldn't tell. Go Rangers, right?"

"Hey, hey, hey!"

"Whoa, don't you dare step foot in our homes and disrespect us like that. That is a like a slur around here." Jack shook his head playfully as him and Luke exchanged looks before all three of you busted out laughing.

"Sorry, sorry won't happen again!"

"It better not or we're gonna have to kick you out." Luke threatened with a mock-serious expression. "But seriously Jack, the TV isn't working and everyone wants to play Fifa for some reason."

Jack shrugged as he motioned to Libby towards the living room, "I don't even know if we own Fifa..."

They all entered the spacious living room where everyone was. There were some teammates who she recognized and some people she'd never seen before. Jack and Luke ventured off toward the TV, leaving Libby to go stand by the couch. She'd enjoyed the night so far but as she stood there, anxiety began to creep into her stomach.

Everyone here knew somebody and right now the only people she was close with was her brother, Luke and Jack and they were all playing Fifa right now.

"Libs, get a controller we need one more player!" Jack shouted from the coach and waved at her to come over. Libby hesitated for a moment, feeling a familiar pang of anxiety at the thought of joining a group of people she didn't know well. But as she stared back at Jack, she swallowed all her fears and walked over, taking a controller.

As she settled in next to them, Libby felt a sense of normalcy wash over her. For the first time in a long time, she felt like she could just be herself, without the weight of everyone's expectations or the glare of being perceived.

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↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

171 notes · View notes

shuadotcom · 8 months

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Curse The Stars | HJS (M)

🪩 Summary: Meeting someone at the disco to take home for the night is customary for you, especially in your line of work. But meeting this man on this night at this disco feels more like fate as Joshua becomes much more than just your routine one night stand.

🪩 Pairing: Salesman!Joshua x Starlet Afab!Reader

🪩 Genres + AUs: Smut, fluff, a little bitty bit of angst, strangers to lovers, fwb to lovers, 1970s Hollywood au, porn with a lil plot

🪩 Rating: 18+ (MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI)

🪩 Words: 8.4k

🪩 Warnings: Profanity, mentions of alcohol/drinking, poorly written 70s themes and slang (I’m a 90s baby I did my best okay)

🪩 Smut Warnings: Dirty talk, oral (f & m receiving), face-fucking, praise, fingering, pussy slapping, spitting (it’s tame lol), marking, doggy, mating press, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, overstim, creampie, reader is called good girl once, breeding kink?, big dick!joshua as usual

🪩 Note: Here’s my fic for @svthub’s 70s;teen collab!

This fic was heavily inspired by Virgo’s Groove by Beyoncé. It’s my 2nd favorite song off of Renaissance and as soon as I heard it I knew I needed to write some horny little songfic. At the same time it came out I was rewatching some Home Run performances and Joshua in those stages drives me absolutely insaneeee and here we are 🤗 This was supposed to be much shorter but I got carried away and added a little more plot than intended oops.

Thank you to my amazing, sweet, lovely beta @horanghater. I promise I’ll stop asking you to beta for me last minute!!! 🫶🏽🫶🏽 And thank you to the talented and wonderful @playmetheclassics for always making the most gorgeous banners for me! 🥺 💛

“Hi there beautiful, can I trouble you for a dance?”

This isn’t the first time you’ve been approached - not tonight or any night when you find yourself out on the town. You’ve already had a handful of people propose a dance, but all of them were men that did nothing but stare at your tits or give off the finest of sleazebag energy.

This man though…this man is different.

His round eyes stay locked on yours, an unassuming, even sweet, smile plastered onto his lips that makes the corners quirk upwards. The smile reaches those brown eyes that bat at you and render you speechless for a moment.

He’s pristinely styled, with perfectly slicked back white-blond hair, and wearing fancy attire like everyone else is; this is a new disco, and only the people with money or connections are allowed in. A freshly pressed blue suit, a very fitting lavender turtleneck, and shiny chains that glisten under the bright lights overhead, all cling to his body in ways that make your eyes linger on him longer than you should.

When he notices you ogling him, his smile becomes more of a smirk, one full of charm, and on any other man, it might’ve been suspicious, but this man has an aura to him that doesn’t make you immediately put your guard up.

“Sure,” you finally say, putting your hand in his outstretched one. With a small wave to your friends who are all giggling behind you, you’re off to the dancefloor, the man’s much larger hand engulfing yours.

With “Last Dance” having just been released, it’s the only thing that’s been playing everywhere you go for the past few weekends and tonight is no different. It plays over the speakers while you and the handsome man dance together, your bodies seeming to know where the other is moving without even having to say anything. Any hesitation that you’d enjoy your time with him fades away as the song plays, both of you singing the lyrics along with Donna Summer as he spins you around.

Typically after the first dance, you’d prepare to have your partner offer to buy you a drink in the hopes of letting the liquor loosen you up, or they’d even skip straight to the part where they’d offer to find a hotel room nearby for you to be alone.

Once again, though, he is different.

This handsome stranger simply asks if you want to keep dancing and you do. Song after song, you stay on the dancefloor under the bright, multi-colored lights, laughing and singing with him until you’re both finally in need of a rest.

“I’m Joshua,” he says loudly when there’s a slight, brief lull in the music. “Joshua Hong.”

“Y/n Y/l/n.” He smiles that sweet smile again and repeats your name back to you.

“Such a gorgeous name, but I would expect nothing less from someone so gorgeous.” The line is cheesy and you’ve heard it too many times, yet somehow, Joshua still manages to make your skin hot.

“I bet you say that to everyone you dance with!”

“Only the ones I really like.” The mischievous quirk of his lips has you rolling your eyes, but you still think it’s cute.

That’s when you decide that you want to be the one to speed the night along this time.

“Wanna get out of here? My place isn’t that far from here.”

Joshua seems surprised, though only momentarily, at your bluntness, but he nods, taking your hand in his again and letting you guide him through the crowd, catching your friends’ attention with a wave on the way out and going out into the crisp fall night.

“How’d you get here?” he asks once you’re out of the doors.

“One of my friends’ boyfriends dropped us off.” He makes a noise of acknowledgement and leads you both to the busy parking lot full of people standing around and laughing, the good times spilling out from inside the bustling building.

Joshua approaches a sleek, teal convertible Cadillac. When you reach the passenger side, he holds the door open for you, gesturing you inside with a bow and flourish of his hand.

“Out of sight! I shoulda known you’d have a fancy car.” With a whistle, you slide in and he gently shuts the door behind you.

“And why is that?”

“Most actors your age do. I would know - I’m an actress. I’ve had many a fellow actor try and get me in his Caddy.”

Joshua gets in on his side, tilting his head in question. “You think I’m an actor?”

“You’re not?” He shakes his head. “Oh.”

“Why’d you assume that?” At being questioned you clam up, clearing your throat a few times.

“Well, you’re just, you know.”

“No, I don’t know.”

“Ugh, because you’re crazy handsome, okay?! You have a face that should be on film, but don’t go getting a big head about it!” You can tell he’s going to do exactly that, the corners of his mouth raising in an infuriatingly attractive way.

“Well thank you, beautiful. Good to know you find me ‘crazy handsome’.”

“Don’t start! Now I have to wonder what it is you actually do.”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Are you a screenwriter? You seem like you have a lot going on upstairs.”

“Thank you, I think? But no way. I wouldn’t even know where to begin writing a movie.”

“Okay, then a singer?”

“I do enjoy music.” At your victorious look, Joshua shakes his head. “But nope, not a singer.”

“What about -”

“What about telling me how to get your place so we can leave the parking lot?”

“Oops.” You had been so wrapped up in marveling at the fresh leather and knowing a little more about your partner for the night that you nearly forgot you’re still surrounded by the nightlife in the parking lot.

The drive to your apartment is only about ten minutes away. Between telling Joshua where to turn, you sing along to the radio. Now that you’re not being inundated with booming music, you get a chance to hear Joshua’s singing voice and it only serves to leave you breathless.

His voice is so soft and sweet yet confident as he hits the notes effortlessly. Momentarily you falter, forgetting to warn him of the next turn simply because you’re too busy staring at him slack-jawed.

He has to call your name to bring your brain back from the Joshua-shaped hole it was slipping into just listening to him. You point out the final right turn to him, doing your best to ignore how much more handsome he is out of the bright disco lights with just the moonlight illuminating his immaculate features.

As soon as you step inside, he’s taking in your apartment, complementing your pad, your choice of furniture, and the paintings hanging on your walls. You, on the other hand, have only one thing on your mind.

When you approach Joshua, stopping him mid-sentence with your lips as he’s asking you a question about your record collection, he’s surprised, but only momentarily as he kisses you back, warm hands cupping your face.

Joshua fucks you stupid into your mattress that night. Making you cum over and over again with his dirty words and names and his big dick keeping you full and satisfied more than any other hookups from nights past.

When he finally lets you rest, body spent and listless, you all but pass out on his chest with him making no move to leave you alone for the night which is enough to have you dreaming about him when your tired eyes slip closed.

When you wake up the following day it’s to an empty bed and a note on your nightstand.

Sorry to leave you like this beautiful, but I’ve got work.

I’d love to dance with you again. Call me xo

Joshua

His phone number stares back at you at the end of his note and you mull over the idea of calling him before putting the note in your nightstand drawer instead. You can’t say you’ve ever had a hookup earnestly leave their number, so you need to let the thought of calling him back ruminate.

By the next weekend, Joshua is still on your mind and you find out that you can say the same for him. You’re back at the disco with your friends, the one you met him at, and when you’re at the bar getting drinks, a familiar voice sounds in your ears.

“You know, I waited by the phone for you all week. I was pretty hurt when every time it rang you weren’t on the other line.”

You practically jump out of your skin when Joshua appears, a pout on his pretty lips as he hovers close to your side.

“I…I um,” you stammer. You hadn’t expected to see him again, especially not so soon.

“If you don’t wanna see me again-”

“I do!” The words tumble out, cutting him off and he snickers at your eagerness. “I mean, I do wanna see you again. Truth be told, I’ve never had someone leave me their number and honestly want me to call them. It’s usually just for show.” Anytime a number was scrawled on your arm or a business card was left and you called the day after, you were usually met with disinterest or a nonchalant promise to meet up again. They never kept their promises.

“I wouldn’t leave my number if I didn’t want you to use it. I swear.” Joshua’s smile is sincere. His eyes meet yours, pinning you in place, and soon neither of you are moving or speaking - only searching the other for the answer. Eyes are the window to the soul, and when you search Joshua’s all you can find is honesty and gentleness and you allow yourself to believe it.

“Okay. I’ll call you later this week?”

“I hope you do, but do I have to wait that long to spend time with you or do you wanna get under that disco ball with me?”

The idea to buy a drink is forgotten when you take Joshua’s hand and get lost in him and the music all over again.

That night ends up the same as before with you in his car being driven to your apartment.

Tonight, though, your destination is your couch, talking to one another, drinks in hand to keep the mood comfortable. Joshua is an incredible listener, nodding along in a way that you know he’s truly taking your words in, and asking you questions about yourself. He asks what got you into acting and where you’re from. He asks about your friends, your favorite restaurants, and your favorite things to do when you’re not working.

If you rack your brain, you can’t remember the last time you had a meaningful conversation with a partner. It’s…different, in a good way.

You find out that he was invited to the disco you met at by a friend of his named Taehyung, whose name you had heard in your circle before. Hollywood isn’t that big a place.

“So, I completely forgot to ask, what movies have you been in? Truth be told, I don't recognize your name or your face, and believe me, I'd remember if I saw such a stone-cold fox on the big screen.” His words are flirty, but he asks with genuine interest.

“Well, I’ve only been in a few films, but they’re probably not ones you’ve seen.”

“Try me.” After you name the five medium-sized, indie films you have a spot on the credits in, Joshua tries to nod along but you can tell how obvious it is that he hasn’t seen any of them.

“That’s okay. I wanna be the next Pam Grier or Cicely Tyson, but I’ve still got a long way to go.”

“Hey, I’m sure you will be. No - I know you will. I can tell you’re gonna be a real star.” There’s no hint of sarcasm behind what he says. He’s so sure of himself - of his words - and a warmth overtakes you, settling deep in your chest.

“Thank you.” Your words are bashful and he seems to notice, scooting across the mustard-colored fabric of your couch, closer to you.

“Anyway, what do you do other than make people all flustered just for fun?”

“I work with people,” Joshua answers with a chuckle, taking a sip of his drink.

“You work with people?”

“Yep, all types of people. Demanding people, nice people, some of the worst people I’ve ever met. You name it.”

“I work with people too, Joshua, and we already established you’re not an actor.”

“I could never be an actor. I don’t think I have it in me.”

“Okay, so what are you then?”

“What do you mean?”

“What do you do?”

“For what?”

“For work, Joshua!” Throwing your hands in the air at his back and forth you nearly knock your drink over, but catch it in time, setting the glass on the oak coffee table, not noticing when you completely miss your coaster.

Joshua laughs, commenting on how cute you look frowning at him like this. “I’m a salesman.”

“Is that all? Jesus, stop being so weird and elusive. What do you sell? Houses? Some fancy, shiny cars or something?”

His expression stays neutral, suddenly transfixed by the ice swirling in his cup.

“Joshua?”

He heaves a sigh and finally meets your eyes.

“Washing machines,” his words come out in a rush. “Appliances in general, but I uh, I’ve sold the most washing machines in my department.” He takes a hearty sip of his drink, not meeting your stare.

“Okay? What’s the problem with that?”

“I - you don’t care?”

“Why would I?”

Joshua chuckles, running a hand through his neatly styled platinum hair. “Whenever I’m on this side of town, the second someone finds out I’m not an actor or model or whatever they assume I am, usually they lose interest in me. I know we’ve only seen each other twice but I really like spending time with you. I was worried you’d tell me to get out or something.”

The man whom you’ve only known for a week at best and who always looks so confident and self-assured is wringing his hands in front of you, an air of nervousness surrounding him.

“Lucky for you, I’m not as shallow as the other folks in Hollywood and I don’t care what you do. Besides, spending time with you is the most fun I’ve had in a long time.” Joshua seems to search your face for any hint of doubt behind your words, but he finds none.

He takes this as a cue to lean over and kiss you and you don’t think twice to kiss him back, melting into his lips and his hold.

Once again, Joshua fucks you within an inch of your life, staying over again, but this time he doesn’t have work until a little later so he sleeps in with you. After breakfast, he props you on your laminate counters and rocks your world, the remainder of your eggs and toast left cold on the side.

Joshua Hong is quickly proving to be someone you’re unable to let go of and you’re starting to believe that you don’t want to.

You and Joshua expertly fall into a groove. The next few months with him are the same; meeting at the disco on the weekends, sometimes he comes over during the week after you’ve been on the phone for a few hours, and he has sex with you on every surface of your apartment (even a few times in his Cadillac he had saved up for), then he sleeps over and goes home, only for you two to do it all over again. It becomes routine and is the very definition of your relationship with him for months.

Joshua is easy to be with and talk to and what you have works with him - you’re comfortable with him - more comfortable than you’ve ever been with a man.

That’s why it’s so easy to fall in love with him.

You don’t notice it at first and you’re not sure when your enjoyment for being around him morphed into a need to see him or when you went from butterflies fluttering in your stomach when he complimented you to full-on fawning over him internally, but it snuck up on you and hit you like a bus.

The first time it dawns on you is when you’re both cuddled up on your couch, watching a new episode of The Jeffersons. George Jefferson makes a joke that you both find particularly funny, causing you both to erupt in a fit of laughter. You peek over at Joshua and you feel your heart skip a beat. His eyes are in the shape of crescent moons (which you’re realizing you always notice and it always makes you melt) and his radiant smile that makes his whole face light up is as infectious as always, and you can’t help but beam even more. His laugh, always so airy and melodic, rings through your apartment and you think to yourself how much you wish you could hear it every day for the rest of forever.

The next time your feelings make themselves known is when he’s over and he offers to cook you dinner, which you eagerly accept.

It’s just a simple pasta dish, nothing too fancy, but seeing Joshua float around your kitchen in your frilly red apron does something to you. Every so often he’ll pause in singing along to the record playing in the living room to let you taste the sauce or the noodles, sometimes planting a kiss on your forehead or cheek before feeding you. Your heart (and your pussy) clenches at how attractive he looks and at the thought of seeing him like this more often. And by “more often”, your brain attempts to conjure up the question, “What if you lived together?”

You quickly shake the thought away, scolding yourself. You and Joshua have only been…whatever this is for a little over four months. The idea of living together is simply ridiculous.

It’s when four months roll into six, then eight, and nearly nine that you accept that your thoughts now belong to Joshua Hong and Joshua Hong only. When you start seeing him in the sunshine and away from the bright night lights, you feel the shift in your heart finalizing. In simple flared-bottom jeans and fitting shirts, Joshua is just as stunning and alluring as he is in his finest suits and quaffed hair. He can still make you laugh the same and you have the same meaningful conversations and he can still fuck you better than you’ve ever been fucked in your whole life. He’s the same slick guy that dances with you whenever you’re both feeling good and after nearly a year of knowing him, you finally accept that you’re in love with him.

The decision to tell him is one you have to make on your own.

“When are you going to stop messing around with the washing machine salesman?”

“Yeah, you need someone who will put you on the map! What about Hyungwon Chae? He’s been in a few flicks and he’s sooo handsome!”

“Yeah! Oh, or Jungkook Jeon?! His latest album is rumored to be wildly successful and I’ve heard it’ll be just as groovy as his last!”

The conversations with your friends around Joshua are always the same. It doesn’t matter how much detail you go into about the latest sweet thing he’s done for you or the latest concert he took you to or how good he is in bed (you keep that to yourself now since they never appreciate it), it’s always the same criticism. He’s not famous, he’s not rich - he’s just some “normal” guy to them and they can’t seem to fathom why on Earth you’re still seeing him.

They don’t seem to get that he’s so much more than a frequent hookup to you. At least - you want him to be. You can’t tell how he feels or if he wants more, but how will you ever know if you don’t tell him?

Your heart hammers against your chest at the thought of telling him and having him turn you down. The worst he can do is say he wants to keep your time together the same: doing things that make it feel like you’re more than what you are. Even worse is that he can stop seeing you altogether. Even the whisper of that makes your head hurt and your stomach tangle in unfixable knots.

But then there’s that possibility that Joshua digs you as much as you dig him, if not more. That possibility is what burrows deep into your brain and gives you the confidence you need to tell him.

Confidence or delusion - either way, it’s a chance you’ll take.

As an actress, you have to remind yourself that life is full of risks. You wouldn’t have any of the flicks on your resume that you do if you didn’t go to those auditions, put yourself out there, and give it your all. That’s what you want to do with Joshua - it’s what you need to do. You don’t need so-called friends to tell you that.

You have to tell him. You have to know if he’s also too nervous to admit his feelings or if you’re being foolish and pining for nothing. He’s quite possibly the love of your life and you need to tell him.

You don’t see Joshua for two weeks after you realize how you feel about him. Between his extra shifts and a rush of auditions from your manager, life seems to keep you apart for much longer than you’d like.

It’s when you finally have a night to yourself, away from the hustle and bustle that you get the time you’ve been yearning for.

You’re stepping out of the tub when you hear your phone ringing, the shrill sound breaching your quiet evening.

“I’m coming!” You call out to no one, slipping on your fluffy robe and slippers before shuffling through the apartment and to the kitchen. You make it just in time, picking up the pink phone dangling from the wall.

“Hello?” The tone you take on is slightly annoyed, hoping the caller knows you’re unhappy with the interruption.

“Hey, beautiful. Hope I’m not interrupting your night.” The smooth sound of Joshua’s voice melts you on the spot, expertly deflating your growing irritation as easily as popping a balloon. You’re embarrassed to admit just how easily Joshua Hong can get you to abandon anything else that isn’t him.

“Hey, Shua. No, I’m just at home tonight. I just got out of the tub.”

“Oh yeah? No big fancy parties with your fancy friends?”

“Nope. It’s just me, all alone with no plans for the rest of the night.” Your fingers tangle in the phone cord, wrapping the springy wire around your hand.

“I see. That sounds pretty boring if you ask me,” he hums, quickly picking up what you’re putting down. “No one to talk to or spend time with.”

“Hmm yeah, you’re right. Just me, myself, and I, all alone here,” your true intentions behind those words dripping from your flirty tone like honey. Not even five minutes ago that sounded like a perfect evening, but you already know why he’s calling, and spending the night with Joshua sounds like a much better option.

“Such a shame for you to be home alone all night. Maybe you can get someone to keep you company?”

“I think I’ll have to. I just don’t know what to do with myself otherwise. Plus, I’m feeling awful lonely.”

“Well we wouldn’t want you to be lonely now would we?” Joshua is smirking into the phone, and you can so clearly envision his grin with mischief written all over his pretty face. He wants you to initiate tonight and he’ll go back and forth as long as you’ll let him. Typically you have no problem keeping up with his snark, but the sound of his voice alone has you craving him like some sex-crazed lunatic.

Which you suppose you are when it comes to Joshua.

“Baby,” you breathe out, deciding you’re yearning for him far too much to play this game tonight. “Please come over?” You make sure to add a sprinkling of a whine at the end of your request, punctuating the entirety of your words with a tiny moan.

Joshua hums into the phone, pretending to think even though you both already know his answer.

“And how could I say no to you, hmm?” Joshua shuffles on the other end, his voice lowering an octave, but volume loud and clear to you. “I’m done work in a few. Give me fifteen minutes and I’ll be over to see you. Think you can wait up for me, darling?”

“Always, Shua,” the implication behind his words has you buzzing with excitement, your own voice lowering in a hushed tone even though you’re home alone.

“See you soon, beautiful.”

As soon as the phone hangs up you rush into action, shuffling back to your bathroom to completely dry off and moisturize your skin. With styled hair and a spritz of Joshua’s favorite perfume on you, you slip into your favorite silk nightie, the one that dusts your ankles with the slit in the side that goes up to the middle of your thigh. You don the matching robe and put on one of your favorite records, mixing two drinks after you do so.

Just as you’re about to sit down there’s a knock on your door. Your stomach does flips as you go to answer it. You hadn’t known when you wanted to tell Joshua that you want him as more than a friend he sleeps with every weekend, but this feels like the right time. Truth be told you don’t know when the right time even is, but the longer you wait the more it’ll gnaw at you and won’t leave you alone.

“Look at you,” Joshua wraps his arms around you as soon as you let him in, drawing you into his embrace. He places a kiss on your lips, lingering for a second before pulling away. You hate the way you want to chase his lips.

He follows you into the living room, sinking into the couch next to you and you hand him the drink you made.

“It’s just an old-fashioned, nothing fancy.”

“An old-fashioned is pretty fancy to me. You didn’t have to make me anything, darling.”

“Yeah, but I wanted to.”

Your words earn you another kiss, this time on your cheek and you get a new round of tingles across your body.

Joshua tells you about his day as you sit and drink together and the whole thing feels so painfully domestic. And you want it to be, so badly. Not that you want to stop acting - it’s been your dream as long as you can remember so you would never abandon it, but you want Joshua to be a part of this now and a small piece of you worries that he won’t want to. Hollywood isn’t for everyone and he’s voiced time after time how he could never see himself in showbiz or the business in general. But that’s fine with you. The time you’ve spent with Joshua far surpasses anyone else in the business you’ve ever given your time to anyway.

“Y/n?”

“Huh?”

“I lost you for a moment there. I didn’t mean to bore you with my department store tales,” Joshua chuckles, sipping his drink.

“No, you could never bore me! I was just thinking is all.”

“About?”

“You,” your answer is automatic and it’s the truth.

“Oh yeah?” You nod in response as Joshua tilts his head at you, eyes sparkling as he looks you over. “C’mon. Let’s boogie.” He puts his glass down and grabs your hand instead, leading you to the middle of your living room.

Minnie Riperton serenades you as Joshua brings you closer, your bodies slotting together perfectly as you sway to the music. He hums along, his eyes closing as he dips you for show, both of you sharing a giggle as he brings you upright.

These are the moments that let you know that you’re in love with Joshua Hong. Everything he does, everything he says, it’s all with a tenderness and a care that you’ve never experienced, but it still makes you feel incredibly special.

The beginning chords of “Lovin' You” fill the room, as Joshua’s fingers dance across your waist.

“I love this song.” He begins humming along again, and this is the moment you’ve been waiting for, you think, sucking in a huge breath of air.

“And I love you,” the words fall from your mouth before you can think twice and you do your damndest to make yourself sound confident.

Joshua’s smile slips in an instant, his expression turning serious. “What?”

“I’m into you, Joshua. So much. I wanna be more than what we are.” He’s stopped swaying completely, neither of you moving. The only sound other than the song still playing is the sound of the blood rushing loudly through your ears.

“Y/n…”

Your heart is this close to shattering into a million pieces. “What, you don’t like me back?”

He must notice your forlorn expression, because he reaches for you again, gently touching your arm. “No, it’s not that I just…”

“What is it then? Huh?”

Joshua heaves out a sigh, eyes closing before fixing you with a steady gaze. “I just sell washing machines, Y/n. I don’t have some bright future like you. I’m not getting a star on the Walk of Fame. I’ll get promoted to a store manager at best. I’m not like you.”

You blink at him, taking in his words. “That’s what you’re worried about?! Joshua, I don’t fucking care! I wouldn’t care if you worked at a factory or were a carpenter. Hell, I wouldn’t care if you were unemployed - I like you for you. No, I love you. I love you for your heart and your sense of humor and how sweet you are to me and how you actually, genuinely care about me and my interests and my dreams. I love you for every little thing about you, Joshua. Not for how much money you make or any of that.”

He’s silent, letting you pour your words out, your thoughts flowing from your mouth like a broken faucet. “Y/n…” he finally starts. The fear that he’ll turn you away just because he feels like he’s not enough grips you. Your ears tune into the song still playing and you do the first thing you can think of to get him to stop. You sing.

“Lovin' you I see your soul come shinin' through…”

He looks confused, almost unsure if you’ve truly begun to sing to him. “Y/n -”

“And every time that we oooooh. I'm more in love with you.”

“I’m-”

“La la la la la la la…do do do do do-“

Joshua closes the small gap between you two, his lips colliding with yours, putting a stop to your serenade before you can hit Minnie Riperton’s falsetto. You don’t object in the slightest, kissing him back with all your might.

“Did it work?” You mumble against his lips as you separate. “Did I get through to you? Are you staying?”

“I mean, you definitely made me lose track of what I was thinking of saying to you. I think I also know why you told me that one time that you’ve never considered being a singer.”

His teasing earns him a push against his chest, barely even moving under your force. “I pour my heart out to you in song and this is what I get?!”

He dodges the remainder of your playful hits and grasps your hands in his, his thumbs caressing your skin.

“Seriously, Y/n. I’m just a guy who works at Sears. Are you sure you want to do this? Are you sure you want me like that?” You can’t help but lift a hand and smooth out the crinkles on his forehead with your thumb, attempting to push the frown off of his perfect face.

“The only other time I’ve been this sure about something I wanted was when I knew I wanted to be an actress.” His eyes shine as you speak, searching for sincerity. “Do you want me like that?”

“God, yes, I do. I have for months.”

Relief washes over you, putting you at ease. “Then you can have me. In any and every way.”

Joshua doesn’t hesitate in the slightest. Soft lips meld into yours, your body molding against his as he holds you around the waist. His hands roam your body, his touch leaving searing warmth in its wake. He kisses you, sufficiently taking your breath away as he does. Your fingers card through his platinum locks, mussing the strands, but he pays it no mind as his lips trail from yours, down to your jaw and your neck. Joshua is nothing short of an expert when it comes to your body and the places you like to be touched and kissed.

When he reaches the most sensitive spot on your neck, the spot that makes your toes curl, he sucks, sinking his teeth into the soft skin. A sharp cry slips out of your mouth as he nibbles on the skin, sucking hard enough that there’ll surely be a mark there in the morning.

His hands wrap around you, palming your ass through your nightie and bringing your body impossibly closer to him. His erection strains against his corduroy pants, hard and aching just for you. You heave a heavy sigh when he finally leaves the patch of skin he’s working at alone, only to move to another swatch of skin. Your knees almost give out and you have to grab onto his blazer to stay upright.

Joshua’s hands roam over the silk and he continues to spend extra time on your most sensitive of areas before he decides he’s satisfied with the marks he’s decorated you with. He moves to kiss you again and with each slide of his lips against yours feeling more frantic by the second, so does his grip until his fingers catch on the knot of your robe, tugging it gently.

“Can I…?” he questions into your mouth.

“You never have to ask.” His lips curl into a smile against yours as he makes quick work of removing your robe and tossing it aside. He gently bunches up the fabric of your nightgown and eases it up and over your head, letting the fabric fall to the floor.

Now with no barrier between his wandering hands and your bare skin, Joshua’s hands move across you with purpose, one hand cradling your lower back and pushing you into him again. The other beelines for one of your breasts, his large hand scooping one up to knead at. He kisses you with so much hunger you can feel the need rolling off of him in waves and his hands that paw at you serve to make you even wetter.

He bucks his hips shallowly against you and your need for him reaches an all-time high. When you pull away, Joshua looks forlorn at losing your warmth, but when you drop to your knees in front of him, letting the brown shag underneath you dig into your skin, his expression morphs into one of excitement.

Hands work at his belt buckle, undoing it, then his pants, and you help him step out of the fabric along with his underwear. His cock, in all of its thick, throbbing glory feels as heavy as always in your hands when you pump him a few times, watching the precum bead at his tip. Wrapping your lips around the bulbous head, you suckle at it a few times, loving the way that Joshua starts breathing heavily above you, one of his hands coming up to settle on the back of your head.

You ease his length into your mouth bit by bit, enjoying the way the thickness stretches your lips and your throat as you take him in. You clench around nothing, already anticipating that same stretch in your dripping cunt.

“Fuck, just like that, darling,” Joshua grunts when you finally take him as far as you can fit him in your mouth, your hands wrapping around the rest of him. Your head bobs in tandem with your hands as you stroke him, letting him hit the back of your throat.

Both of Joshua’s hands are on your head now, his fingers getting caught in your hair as he tugs a few times. You’ve had his dick down your throat enough times to know what he wants, so you go slack, letting him fuck your mouth, gagging each time he pushes your head to meet his thrusts.

Your eyes slip closed, letting him use your mouth to the pace he wants. Your core throbs almost painfully as you suck him off and you have to rub your thighs together to feel any semblance of relief, although it’s nowhere near enough.

Joshua stills his hips then, keeping his length buried in your throat, your nose touching his pubic bone as you slowly breathe out of it. You swallow around him a few times, Joshua letting out a long, rumbling groan from his chest before pulling you back, his cock leisurely sitting against your lips, both of you trying to catch your breaths.

“Keep sucking me off like that and I’ll have to paint your pretty face.”

You suck him in one more time then pull off of him completely with a pop, tongue dipping into his slit just to tease him. “Do it. Want you to cover me in your cum.”

Joshua hisses, the grip on your hair tightening as he pulls you off of his length once and for all. “Fuck, you’re so nasty. Sit on the couch, baby.”

Ignoring the soreness in your knees, you crawl to the couch and perch on the edge, awaiting Joshua’s next instructions. Joshua unbuttons his shirt, your eyes greedily drinking in every inch of his toned, honeyed skin as he does so. Once he’s fully naked in front of you like he has been so many times before, you lick your lips, wanting nothing more than to cover him in marks of your own.

That will have to wait as it’s Joshua’s turn to drop to his knees and make his way over to you, settling in between your already open legs. His hands, always so big and warm and strong, grip your thighs, spreading them even further, so agonizingly slow.

“Mmm, there she is - drooling for me already. Crying to be filled up.”

“Josh- shua, please!”

“Please? Please what, sweetheart?” Joshua drags his finger through your sticky folds, watching your arousal coat his fingers.

“Please finger me or fuck me - anything!”

The smirk that tells you he plans to tease you plays on his lips, the corners quirking up in the most aggravating, charming way.

“Anything?”

“Please!”

His palm meets your core with force, smacking your pussy and sending a jolt through your whole body. Back arching in the air you let out a tiny scream, and more follow as he does it a second, third, fourth time.

“Joshua, baby, fuck, please!”

“Hmm? Thought you wanted anything I give you? Slapping your greedy pussy isn’t enough?”

Shaking your head vigorously, you beg him for something more. “Wanna be stuffed, please, Shua!”

His eyes darken at your words and he takes a mercy on you, landing two more smacks against your mound before he dips a finger into your core, a sigh of solace leaving you. He watches your mouth hang open as he works his finger in and out at a torturous pace.

“Always so warm and wet for me.”

“Always,” you assure him. You’ll always be ready for him in any way that he wants you.

Joshua slips a second finger in, stretching your walls more. You can write a whole dissertation about how good Joshua is with his hands and how much you love them, but his pace picks up, sufficiently wiping your brain of any of those eloquent words.

“Fuck!” You yelp as he keeps pumping his fingers into you and leans over to wrap his lips around your aching clit. He sucks at the bud, pistoning his digits and crooking them, his fingertips catching against your g-spot. “Shua!”

“God, I love it when you say my name. Say it again, baby.” To coax you, he flattens his tongue against your clit, putting pressure on it as his fingers move faster, and rougher, bringing you closer to your peak. If it’s up to Joshua, he’d have you cumming until you pass out, but you have to draw the line somewhere after the first night he wanted to see how many times he could get you to cum for him (his record is eight, and you haven’t had the fortitude to let him try and break it just yet).

“Joshua - Shua, gonna cum!”

“Go on then, do it, baby, cum for me.” He continues to suck on your clit, his teeth grazing the nub a few times and that’s all it takes to have you let go, yelling out Joshua’s name again as you do. He doesn’t give you time to catch your breath because his mouth then latches onto your pussy, tongue darting into your wet heat.

“T-too much!” Your whimpers are half-assed and he knows you don’t actually mean it which is why he keeps at it, slurping your juices and fucking you with his tongue. Joshua hums against you as he goes and it’s embarrassing how quickly you cum again, but your partner loves it, chuckling against you as he laps up your release and places a kiss on your puffy lips.

“You always taste so sweet, baby. Flip over for me?”

“‘Course,” you rasp, turning your already tired body over, Joshua helping with gentle hands on your hips. He stands up, stretching tall as he walks to his forgotten pants and gets out his wallet.

“Damn it,” he huffs, rifling through his wallet and checking the pockets a few more times.

“What’s wrong?”

“I forgot to bring more condoms. You okay waiting for me to -”

“No.”

“No?”

“No. I need you now.”

“Y/n, we’ve never -”

“I know, but I haven’t been messing around with anyone else since we started seeing each other. Have you?”

“No, I haven’t. How could I when I have a whole you waiting for me here?” Even with your ass in the air and pussy glistening with his spit, it’s the way he says this - with so much care and admiration in his tone - that has you flustered.

Joshua joins you again, hands running down your back, goosebumps popping up on your flesh under his touch. He stops at your ass, squeezing and kneading your cheeks, spreading you open, the cool air of your apartment making you jump.

The chill is quickly replaced with the searing warmth that is Joshua as the tip of his dick nudges your entrance. He purses his lips, leaning over to spit on both his length and your hole before plunging into you. His girth stretches your walls deliciously, inch by inch of him entering you.

You let out an audible shudder as he goes, relaxing your body as best you can as he stuffs you.

“Look at you,” Joshua coos once he’s fully sheathed inside of you. “Taking my fat cock so well, darling.”

“Feels so g-good, Shua. So fucking good.”

“Yeah? I’ll make you feel even better, baby.” Joshua grips your waist and pulls his hips back, all the way until only his cockhead catches at your hole before snapping forward, shoving his dick back into you to the hilt. You can’t help but wail at Joshua’s thrusts, hips meeting you repeatedly as he drives into you over and over again.

Your record still plays in the background, the slaps of Joshua’s skin against yours mixing with the melody along with yours and Joshua’s moans. The drag of Joshua’s dick against your gummy walls has you shuddering underneath him. Without a condom, he feels so much hotter inside of you as every vein, every ridge, every pulse of his cock can be felt with each thrust.

“Shit, just like that, Shua!” Your neck cranes to look over your shoulder, attempting to gain some leverage against the couch cushions by leaning on your elbows. The sight of Joshua, skin flushed and shining with perspiration, eyebrows knitted in concentration with his bottom lip pulled between his teeth is enough to send you careening towards your end. You don’t get a chance to warn him before it hits you, the building pressure in the pit of your stomach releasing as you’re pushed to let go, burying your face in the cushions with tears pricking at your eyes.

“Fuck, look at you. Couldn’t even hold off from cumming again. You like my cock that much?”

“Yes!” you sob. “So much! So good…”

Joshua pulls out, you whimpering at the loss of him, but he doesn’t leave you empty for long. Joshua’s big hands help flip you over on your back, ass almost hanging off of the couch. He grasps your thighs, pushing your knees into your chest as he enters you again, burying himself in your messy heat. Joshua’s hips drill into you, balls slapping against your ass each time he surges forward.

Your record has stopped playing by now, the only song sounding through the walls of your apartment are your sobs of Joshua’s name and his grunts as he uses all of his strength. He keeps you pinned between his body and the couch, dick battering your sore cunt as both of you chase your ends.

“Shit, baby you’re so fucking beautiful. Taking my dick like a good girl.”

“Y-yeah. I’m your good girl!”

“Yeah, you are. Always so good. Letting me fuck you raw. Wantin’ me to fill up this filthy little pussy.”

Joshua swivels his hips, tip grazing against your spongey bundle of nerves. “Just like that!”

His hands keep your legs up and spread open as he does what you beg for, repeatedly pounding into your g-spot as your eyes roll back, mouth hanging open as any more sounds die on your tongue.

“Look at you. All fucked out and drunk for my dick. Gonna pump you full of my seed, maybe even fuck a baby into you. Would you like that?”

“Yes! Fuck me, Shua!”

“Fuck yeah, I will. Gonna flood this cunt with my cum and get your belly nice and round. Gonna make you mine forever.”

The Earth shatters around you and a tsunami of fire washes over you when you cum again, your back arching painfully as you scream out for him. Your pussy clenches around him, squeezing his cock like a vice which triggers Joshua’s orgasm.

“Shit - fuck, Iloveyousomuch!” The words tumble from Joshua’s lips as he cums, painting your insides sticky and white. He milks himself as he keeps his pace, his seed spilling out around his cock, leaking out and dribbling down your ass. Feeling him stay true to his word and pump himself dry into you draws a final, much smaller, weaker orgasm out of you as tears fall from your eyes both at the oversensitivity and hearing Joshua say to you what you’ve hoped he would for nearly a year.

Neither of you move, panting like crazy as the sweat on your bodies starts to dry along with the cum still slowly trickling out of you. When Joshua finally eases out his softening length, it’s with a groan on both your parts. Your sore legs lower, limply hanging off of the couch. The sensation of the rest of his cum seeping out of your abused hole and down your legs makes you sigh, your hips wiggling in response.

“Look at you, baby. You’re a mess.” He’s still a little out of breath but still manages to tease you.

“And whose fault is that?” He simply chuckles at you and you watch him through bleary eyes, heave himself off of the couch, and go into your kitchen.

He’s back in no time, two glasses of water in his hand. He offers you his bicep which you take, using him for leverage to sit up. You eagerly accept the water, downing the glass in less than thirty seconds, dry throat more than grateful.

Joshua’s next to you on the couch, watching you as he hydrates as well. The two of you sit in silence, emptying your cups and catching your breaths. For a moment, you worry that his confession was only in a bout of pleasure, but as if reading your mind he speaks.

“I meant it, you know. I love you.”

That’s all you need to hear to have you practically launching yourself in his lap, your lips crashing into his for a long, but sweet kiss. Joshua cradles your face, kissing you back just as hard, both of you eventually giggling into each other’s mouths.

When you need to breathe again, you pull away just enough to rest your forehead against his. Joshua’s brown eyes shine as they meet yours, your stomach flipping as you’re reminded for what feels like the 500th time just how handsome he is.

“I know you already took a bath, but I think we need to get you in the tub again,” he comments, gaze flickering down to the cooling streaks of his cum on your legs. And how he’s all yours.

“Only if you join me this time.”

“Only if you make time to let me take you on a proper date tomorrow night. We’ve spent a ton of time together, but I need to court you for real now.”

“As if I’d say no to you. I’m in love with you after all.” A brilliant, blinding smile takes over Joshua’s face and your heart leaps. No matter how much time you spend with Joshua, you don’t think you’ll ever get tired of laughing with him or smiling with him. And especially not dancing with him. You’ll never tire of that.

Net tag: @kflixnet

361 notes · View notes

olderthannetfic · 10 days

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/749218521745145857/while-i-love-some-queergay-whatever

“Kissing on the forehead isn’t necessarily romantic” makes sense if we are talking about a work of media that is made in a time/place where that was a common thing between same gender platonic friends.

But are you, anon? Or are you talking about like, a piece of Western mass media from the past 50 years? Or are you talking about anime — because if anything, kissing is even more loaded in Japan than it is in the West, especially if there are other people around. (Lots of people in anime fandom love to use “but Japanese culture” arguments to no homo, but are banking on no one reading them actually knowing jack shit about Japanese culture — because it’s almost never true or based on any real Japanese cultural difference, there’s just making shit up. It assumes people will take for granted anything that frames Japan as “foreign and inscrutable and impossible for Westerners to understand” which is just Orientalism tbqh)

Just saying, because I almost never see this shit said about like, a novel from 1820 or something from a culture like, say, some Middle Eastern countries where men kissing other men platonically is a thing…. and almost always see it said about current media from a culture where kissing on the forehead would be seen as something you’d likely not do to a platonic friend of the same gender.

You can’t “impose your cultural norms” on something from the same culture as you lol, or something from another culture that has the same norm! And an (for example) American assuming that modern American media plays by the rules of modern American culture and seeing it through that lens, doesn’t necessarily mean that American is unaware that different norms exist in different cultures. But like… it just makes sense to analyze a current American show for American audiences set in America in the modern day through the cultural standards of 2020s America and not, say, Bangladesh or Namibia or 1850s America.

And on another note, if you were as much of a fan of “queer readings” as you claim to be, you’d know that they often have little to do with authorial intent. In fact, it’s often specifically about reclaiming media that didn’t have you in mind as the audience.

(Seriously, I really doubt you have read many of those queer readings, bc if this bothers you so much, the stuff queer studies academics and cultural critics see as “gay subtext” in old Hollywood movies — hell, the stuff that gay, bi and sympathetic-straight directors and actors and writers often very much INTENDED as gay subtext in those movies — would make your brain explode.)

Anyway, we’ve all been in fandoms where there’s a ship some people insist has a ton of subtext but it’s just two guys sharing a scene occasionally and they just WANT to believe it’s there when it isn’t, and it can be annoying sure if there are so many people insisting this that it’s inescapable and becoming fanon that affects the fic about the ships you like, or if they’re pushy and sanctimonious about it. (My current fandom has a group of people who insist the only reason other people don’t see all the “subtext” for their random rarepair is racism or something, and then ignore how much textual stuff they have to deliberately leave out or misinterpret for their reading to “work” lol. Like scenes where their starry eyed expression is directed at a different character and that’s obvious in the actual episode but not in their selectively edited gif set or meta post.) But that is not the same as doing that with KISSING ON THE FOREHEAD ffs. And also, let’s not pretend that slash (or femslash) shippers are the worst offenders, like het shippers — and the broader culture — doesn’t constantly treat “a man and a woman interact” as meaning “they could/should be a couple,”

If you’re not bothered by that, but you’re bothered by when people do it with two men or two women… yeah you gotta ask yourself why that is. I have an idea why, and it’s not bc of your greater cultural open mindedness lol

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etherrreal · 1 year

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“would you be mine(craft)?”

Pairing: kenma x gn!reader Genre: fluff, friends to lovers Summary: your dating life sucks, Kenma’s dating life sucks, so what’s there to lose if you just date each other? WC: 1,670 Warnings: N/A A/N: honestly, if one single person asks for it, i’ll write their date just because i love writing for kenma lol -Luna (and here’s part 2 for your convenience~)

You’ve been in this position before: holding the hand of your date as you approach your apartment building, turning to him with a polite smile on your face as you share some general kind words about the night. Then he starts to slowly lean in, head tilting and eyelids falling shut, seeing if you’ll reciprocate the gesture, which you do.

And it's like it always is: he kisses you and you kiss him back. It's fine. It's a perfectly serviceable kiss, and you know that the idea of fireworks and unicorns jumping over rainbows the moment you kiss someone is a fantasy sold to you by Hollywood, but you've definitely had kisses from previous partners—or, hell, even previous breakfast burritos—that sparked more emotion than the one you're engaging in right now.

But that's how you know it's not really fine. And when you pull away and open your eyes again, you muster up the most convincing smile you can while bidding your date goodnight and heading into your apartment building. And as you stare at the bright red number count up, riding the elevator to your floor, you already know that you're not going to be reaching out to plan another date. Instead, you’ll be sending the same very formal text you've sent so many times before about how you enjoyed your time but simply "didn't feel a spark" and you hope he has good luck with his dating life in the future.

And you pray that maybe this time he won't spam you with vulgar texts calling you the worst names possible.

...Maybe you should just start ghosting, instead.

You're on autopilot as you enter your quiet, dark apartment, flicking on the light and kicking off your shoes. You take the back of your hand to wipe your mouth because you can still feel your date’s spit on your lips, and something about it feels invasive. Your purse gets tossed onto the couch, followed by your body, and you're whipping out your phone to copy and paste the classic rejection text you now have saved in your notes app for your convenience. It's quite sad, if you think about it, but that's why you try not to.

The ink hasn't even dried yet, so to speak, before you call your best friend Aina to update her on the outcome. The line rings only twice before she picks up.

She shoots right out the gate with the important questions. "How’d it go? Is he hot? Is he rich? Tell me everything!"

"It was okay,” you answer, trying –and failing– to keep the sigh out of your voice.

"Yikes. Just 'okay?' That doesn't sound like second date material."

"I just felt like there wasn't any interest from both sides. It kinda felt more like a job interview than a date." You hold the phone against your shoulder as you attempt to toe off your socks and remove your now uncomfortable pants. "I'll give him props for keeping a conversation flowing, though."

"Yeeeeeah, we shouldn't applaud a fish for swimming," she remarks. You let out a laugh, nearly fumbling the phone in your pantsless pursuit. "Did you guys kiss?"

"We did, at the end, after he walked me home, but again, nothing. It was more of a 'last chance to salvage this' kiss than a romantic one." Your phone buzzes against your shoulder and you pull away to check the notification, seeing the dating app symbol at the top of your phone. "I texted him a bit ago telling him it didn't work out, and he just responded, agreeing."

"Well, at least he wasn't rude about it."

"We shouldn't applaud a fish for swimming, remember?" You double-check the time and let out a heavy, exhausted sigh. "Well, I'm going to take a shower and wash my face and scrub my lips."

"It was that bad?"

"No, just... Wet."

"Ew. I'm so sorry. Enjoy your shower, and I'll talk to you later!"

You hang up with a goodbye and manage to peel yourself off the couch, though not without a series of grunts and groans like a middle-aged father. A warm shower sounds like exactly what you need to turn your night around from ‘meh’ to ‘decent.’

And a boiling hot, 15-minute shower is what you had. With fresh, cozy pajamas on and lotioned skin, you drag your slippered feet toward the kitchen, feeling a craving for some kind of snack after the average dinner meal you had earlier tonight.

As you stand there with the cupboards open, you glance at the clock on the microwave—still off by an hour from when the time changed—and wonder if anyone’s in the Minecraft realm at the moment. Probably Kenma.

You grab the first bag of chips you see and head to your bedroom, getting comfortable in front of your computer so you can boot up Minecraft. You’re in the game for maybe a minute before you hear the Discord chime, a message waiting for you from Kenma.

ken-ma dick fit in your mouth:: 💻📞🗣️? call me by y/n:: …are you asking me to get in the voice channel?? ken-ma dick fit in your mouth:: 👍 call me by y/n:: bet call me by y/n:: also, whoever changed your username is a funny guy 😉 ken-ma dick fit in your mouth:: 🖕

With an evil chuckle, you pull out your headset and plop it on your head, switching channels and waiting patiently for Kenma to join. Shocking to no one, it takes only a few moments for his name to pop up.

“Yo, what’s up?”

“Hey,” he greets, his character popping up in front of yours and crouching, throwing down bread in front of you. “How’d your date go?”

“It went absolutely terrible!” You attempt to joke about it, but the bitterness seeps through. “He was an okay dude, but there was absolutely no chemistry, whatsoever. It was like having a meeting with a coworker.”

“What is that, like, the third failed date this month?”

“Oh god, please don’t say that out loud. It makes me feel bad,” you say with a lighthearted chuckle.

“Sorry.”

“Nah, it’s fine. Sometimes I just wonder if it’s me, ya know? Like, am I the problem, or is it the type of guys that I’m going after?” You pause your mining, pondering all the failed dates, and if there’s some kind of common denominator between them all. Or maybe that common denominator is you?

Kenma makes a noise of disagreement, saying nothing more as he continues breaking down lines of cobbled deep slate, pausing to mumble ‘zombie’ as he shoots him dead, the little jingle of EXP loud in your ears.

“Anyway, enough about my depressing dating life. How’s yours? Did you end up asking out that one girl you were telling me about?”

He lets out a heavy sigh. “Yeah. She had a boyfriend.”

“Oof. That had to suck. Sorry, man. Looks like we’re both striking out lately.”

Usually, he’d hum in acknowledgment, like he tends to do when there’s nothing else he can add to the conversation, but still wants you to know you’ve been heard. Instead, you notice there’s an odd silence, like he’s planning on adding something more.

Kenma clears his throat, and you hear him shift his headset. “When I told Kuroo, he said that we should just go out to put each other out of our misery.”

Of course he did. That seems like a very Kuroo thing to say, but a very weird Kenma thing to relay to you. He’s probably gotten similar comments from his friends—like you have from yours—before, the kind of friends who believe that a woman and a man can’t be friends without wanting to fuck each other, but you wouldn’t know because he’s never cared enough to tell you about it. But he wouldn’t bring it up now if he didn’t think there was some kind of truth to it… Right?

“I… don’t really have anything negative to say about that idea. It wouldn’t be the worst idea he’s had,” you say, although the idea of admitting Kuroo was right makes you a little sick.

The continued silence is deafening, and it gives you a lot of time and space to think about whether or not you should regret what you just said. The idea of going out with Kenma hasn’t crossed your mind since your friendship began years ago, and even then, it was fleeting. Over time, you’ve built such a strong friendship that you’ve never felt the need to throw in a romantic aspect to the relationship.

And you meant what you said. You don’t object to the idea of dating Kenma. Both your friends and Kenma’s have commented in the past that you’re like the same person. You’ve never fought, and any disagreements that you’ve ever had, non-game related, have been solved so smoothly that you don’t really see them as disagreements at all. The friendship you have is so stable that even if the date were to fail, it’d be incredibly easy and not awkward in the slightest to fall back into your old routine as just buddies.

Your heart is in your throat when his voice finally breaks the silence. “Okay. How does next Saturday sound?”

“Sounds good to me,” you agree, a smile growing on your face.

You spend the next few hours gaming, as usual. Neither of you brings up the date again nor makes any kind of sly reference to it, and you both continue speaking like it’s any other night. You can’t help but wonder for a moment if the whole date agreement was just an exhaustion-induced fever dream.

But after you’ve both signed off for the night, you receive a notification for a Google Calendar invite from Kenma titled “Date with Y/N 💐” set for next weekend, and you realize, with sudden butterflies in your stomach, that the whole conversation wasn’t a dream, and you’ll be going out with your best friend next Saturday.

You can hardly wait.

Written by: Luna

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#kenma x reader #kozume kenma x reader #kenma kozume x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #kenma kozume #kenma imagines #haikyu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu #hq kenma #hq x reader #hq imagines #haikyuu!!#our writing #luna writes

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littlexscarletxwitch · 1 year

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── ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎ 𝗺𝗶𝗱𝗻𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗻

paring: florence pugh x fem!reader

tag(s): angst-ish, hurt/comfort, sfw

warning(s): grammatical errors, unedited, mentions of alcohol (don't drink kids lol), swearing

word count: 1,700

note: this was inspired by 'midnight rain' by taylor fucking swift, I just love this song. I tried my best but I don't know if taylor would approve of (💀). I added a marvel reference which I'm kinda proud of. Also, writing angst is so much fun. I'm not a native english speaker, so please let me know about any sort of mistake. Hope you enjoy <3

You were sad, drunk and sleepy.

Sonya told you to go home a while ago, but you were too tired to move for yourself. She noticed that, so she called the only person she knew would come in an instant. The problem was that it wasn’t one of your friends, or any of your siblings, hell, you would have preferred she had called your mum. But it wasn’t up to you.

“She is here for you, sweetie.”

In your half drunk half asleep state you couldn't tell what Sonya was saying. She saw you struggling to understand her words, so she just pointed to the front door of the bar. And there she was. Even in your current state, you could recognize her everywhere. How could you not? You spent hours looking at her, engraving every little detail of her face on your mind. You could tell by the look on her face that this wasn’t how she planned on spending her saturday. To be fair, it wasn’t entirely your fault. Sonya, your friend and bartender, was the one who called her. Although, deep down you thanked Sonya for calling her, even if it hurt you would always love seeing her stupid pretty face.

“Thanks for calling, Sonya. I’ll take it from here.” Said that raspy low voice of hers, one of the many things you loved about her.

“Take care of yourself, hun.” Sonya whispered to you and nodded to Florence.

“Okay, let’s go.”

Now that was embarrassing —being carried by your ex to her car so she could drive your drunk ass home. This was not how you expected to end your night, but you should have thought things through. You should have thought better than getting so drunk that you couldn’t move for yourself. How stupid of you.

You both were silent the whole car drive, you could read the room, she was mad. But she didn’t have the right to be mad at you, she broke up with you. She had no right to feel anything for you. She caused this whole thing. You just wanted her, you wanted everything from her, but you knew she was a Hollywood star in the making, she was making her own name, how could you blame her? You only wanted what was best for her, so you let her chase that fame. As a consequence, you two fell out with each other. You tried your best to not let her slip away from you, but she had her mind elsewhere.

Florence never wanted to break your heart, you were nice. One of the nicest people she’d ever met. You meant everything to her, but she didn’t want to hurt you anymore. She knew she had become distant, that she was too caught up with her career, and it did you no good. So she did what she thought was best for you and let you go. It was the hardest decision of her life, but she thought you were better off without her. She thought you would build your life back up again. And when Sonya called her, after a month of breaking up with you, she knew that she had made the wrong decision. Florence wasn’t mad at you, she was mad at herself, for letting you go, for not making things work out with you. She missed you and hated herself for what she had done —what she had done to you.

She was surprised when Sonya called her, she didn’t expect a call from the bartender at 1am but she knew it had to be important if she was calling her of all people. However, she was even more surprised when she told her you had gotten drunk. You weren’t the type of person to get drunk in a bar. She immediately knew that something was wrong with you. And when she got to the bar and looked at you, she knew you were there because of her. The sad look in your eyes made her hurt ache.

Once in your apartment, she put you to bed. You thought that was it, you were never going to see her on, except for when she would be on tv. You didn’t like that thought. You wanted her with you. You wanted her to take your pain away, even if she had caused it.

“I miss you.” You whispered. You hoped she would say she had missed you too.

“You’re drunk. You don’t know what you're talking about.” she couldn’t take you seriously, not in the state you were in. Even though she really wanted for it to be true.

“Haven’t you heard that a drunk mind speaks a sober heart? And that’s how my stupid sober heart feels. I miss you, Florence.” Florence’s heart missed a beat.

Hearing her name falling out of your mouth, caused a revolution inside of her. Truth was she never stopped loving you, but she thought you would be better with someone who wasn’t like her. Someone who could give you their full attention. Seeing you like this, broken hearted, made her hurt burn, since she was the reason you were like this. She caused this whole thing.

“Okay, how about we talk about this in the morning when you’re no longer drunk, huh?” she needed to leave, seeing you like that was killing her. She was afraid to make things even worse.

“Stay,” you said, so low that she barely heard you, but loud enough to stop her from walking away from you, again. She thought she imagined it, but then you said it again. “Please, stay. I miss you, just come back to me.”

“Y/n, i’m sure you’ll regret it in the morning.” She didn’t want to take advantage of the situation. It wouldn’t be fair to either of you.

“I need you. Can you at least hold me until I fall asleep?”

“I’m not sure–”

“Please, it's the least you can do.” Even when the only light in the room was coming from your window, she could see the pleading in your eyes. She could never say no to you.

She lied next to you, unsure of what to do next. Should she say something? Should she do something? She missed this, being this close to you. She missed your scent, even now when she could smell the alcohol on your lips. She missed your warmth, your touch. She wasn’t sure if you were already asleep, she couldn't see your face since you were on your side, but she had to try.

“I regret letting you go.” There she said it, she thought it would make her feel a little bit better, but it didn’t. The burning feeling still in her heart.

You turned to face her, letting her know you were listening, she took it as a sign to keep on talking.

“Things haven’t been the same since you left. I feel hollow, all of the time, as if something is missing. And it's you. I know that I hurt you, and I hate myself for that. I just thought I was doing what was best for you.”

“Did you really think that you leaving me would be good for me?”

“I now realize that, I just thought–.”

“No, I don’t think you actually know. You broke me into a million pieces. The one person that I love the most in this whole word, and you just pushed me away as if I was no one. Do you know how fucked up that is? We were supposed to talk to each other when things got complicated, not just push the other away.” Venom spitting from your mouth, And Florence couldn't blame you. You had every right to be mad.

“I know I fucked up, big time. But I want to make things better now. I can’t live without you, Y/n. I want you back, I need you back. I’m, I’m not giving up on you, on us. I will go through hell and back if I have to prove to you how much I regret this.” Tears were forming on your eyes, could you trust her again?

“You hurt me.”

“I know, baby. I know I did,” Tears rolling down your cheeks, Florence hated seeing you cry, especially because of her. “Just let me make it better, okay? Give me a chance to prove myself to you.”

You already knew the second she lied beside you that you would forgive her, no matter how bad she had hurt you. Florence had this power over you, yeah, she destroyed you in a million pieces, but she also could make you hold in just seconds. You needed her just as much as she needed you.

“Okay.” That was all Florence needed to bring you closer to her. She kissed your tears away, holding you tightly as if never letting you again.

“Now go to sleep, baby. You must be exhausted.” She smile at you.

“I’m scared that if I do, when I wake up you won't be here anymore.” You mutter, scared to admit that to her.

“I promised you this is not a dream, baby. I’m here now. It 's okay. You can rest now.”

You rested your head in the crook of her neck, it made you feel at ease. You have been longing for this feeling ever since the break up. A smile formed on your lips once your nose was filled by her intoxicating scent. You missed this, you missed her. But she was here now, ready to amend every wrong she had made.

Florence promised to herself that night she would never hurt you again. If things got complicated, she wasn’t going to throw in the towel. She would find a way to make things work. She was never going to give you up. She had peered through a window, all the love she unraveled and the life she gave away, and she didn’t like it, not even one bit. She was relieved when you gave her another chance, and she was going to make it worth it. Because you were her sunshine to her midnight rain, and she couldn’t live without you.

Likes, reblogs and comments are appreciated! <3

-M

#florence pugh #florence pugh x reader #florence pugh x y/n #florence pugh x you #agnst #hurt/comfort #imagine #florence pugh imagine #littlexscarletxwitch's fic #your fav florence pugh blog <3 #Spotify #[🎧⊹♡] based on songs i love

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elvisabutler · 11 months

Note

I just wanted to start by saying I love your writing! I've read your BDE series, Dove series, and Queen of Graceland series, and I have had feelings I'm not sure I should enjoy while reading all three, even though I am almost 30. 😂🫣 Since your requests are currently open, I was wondering if you would ever be interested in writing something specifically for '60s-era movie Elvis? This is his husband era, and I love it so much. He is a clean, well-dressed, progressive man who is also a girl dad, and you know that he leaves the laundry in the hamper, makes the bed, and wears a tiara at his daughter's tea parties. 😂 If you have the time and inspiration, I would absolutely love your take on some domestic fluff with him, maybe taking care of a pregnant partner or helping set up a new baby's room? Thank you for being so awesome and sweet, and I hope you have a great weekend/week!

we plan a big family

summary: elvis doesn't always get time off to spend with you and his gaggle of children, but when he does he likes to make the most of it. fandom: elvis presley | elvis ( 2022 ) rating: t. pairing: elvis presley x female reader ( nicknamed belle ) word count: 1888 warnings: pregnancy. babies. a bit of innuendo involving oral at the end. kids being kids. minorly gross eating. honestly y'all this is fluffy as all hell. 60s elvis. author’s note: anon!!! my darling, this was originally going to be an entirely different fic but i figured you liked queen of graceland and this slotted weirdly well into it that i went okay we're gonna write it as a queen of graceland verse thing. but you're speaking my language on 60s movie elvis. that is my man just as much as big daddy if not more. my ken doll looking butthead. i'm delighted you enjoy my fics and that they've made you feel things you don't know if you should enjoy lol. also- listen you should know the feelings my 31 year old has felt reading some stuff on here. lawd have mercy. for those of you who don't know this takes place in my queen of graceland verse and can be read as either austin elvis or elvis and happy father's day to those who celebrate and happy sunday to those who don't! also. i live to see the excitement/comments that come from this fic and any fic i write endlessly and will always soak them up like a sponge. i'm also open to requests from this verse.

Elvis figures there's something about the fact that he grew up without a single living sibling that fueled this strange desire he had to have at least three children. Back with June and back with Anita he had known— he had pictured that little Elvis—the first little Elvis Presley running around with his siblings, laughing and having every bit of fun he's had to enjoy with cousins and neighborhood kids. He's always pictured his girl being a carbon copy of their mother except with his eyes that he can't resist when she pouts. Figures his wife would call him a pushover and that'd be that.

Then he met you and lord almighty and above, he can't help but figure the Lord gifted him the perfect woman to give him all of this. Sure, first set of kids had been conceived and born under less than ideal circumstances with everyone following practically one right after the other but he had made a joke one time when you were pregnant yet again after Jesse that you and him had always planned a big family and he'd be damned if the two of you didn't have it.

Hollywood finds it a little weird, and he knows this, knows that his costars find you to be an absolute delight when you bring the kids on set, a set of ducklings walking behind their waddling mother. Knows that his work schedule isn't always the best but he does try and make time for you and the kids. Truth be told any second he has a break it's spent with you and the kids. It aggravates the Colonel to no end but he remembers what it's like to not have his daddy around and he'd be damned if he did that to his kids.

"Mama!" His ears and mind register the shrill cries of his eldest daughters in the morning as he hears to groan beside him, attempting to move your head to burrow it into the pillow. The latest set of twins inside you had kept you up for far longer than was advised in your state and it showed in the bags under your eyes and the way you blink blearily at Elvis. After a moment you start to try and get out of bed, struggling to shift your weight before Elvis puts his arm across you and pulls you back closer to him.

"Oh no ya don't. I got'em lil mama," he murmurs against your neck earning a shiver from you before he pulls away. "You just rest here with those little hellions."

Your mouth opens in protest before you hear the squeak of the bed springs signaling that Elvis has already stood up. If he's up and it's a rare day off he has from filming or recording you can stay put. A relieved sigh leaves your lips as you sink back into the bed, your hand rubbing your stomach, willing the twins to stay asleep. Elvis leans over to give you a short peck of a kiss before brushing a bit of your hair out of your face.

"I'll tell the cook what to make for breakfast. Should manage a couple hours for ya. Rest up, Mama."

"'member, we gotta put the other crib up. Jus' in case they come early." A yawn overpowers the last few words you try to speak even as Elvis nods.

"That's an after lunch thing, darlin'. Relax and rest or I'll let 'em inside," Elvis threatens playfully as he walks to the door. The second he's outside, he's greeted by his eldest daughters tackling him in a hug.

"Swear y'all are gettin' stronger by the day. Damn near broke my back."

Elvis isn't necessarily big on routines when it comes to his kids, something about him preferring to be the one who spoils the kids with everything he couldn't have as a child. It's why despite Elizabeth and Loretta being awake, three out of the other four are still asleep, with Rebecca occupying a comfy spot in her father's arms.

What he is big on his making sure they keep their rooms organized and clean for your sake. Loretta and Elizabeth look so much like you that he has to take a moment to not fall for the matching puppy dog looks they give him in an attempt to weasel out of making their bed. After all, hadn't those eyes of yours gotten the pair of you in trouble in the first place?

"Ya know the rules I got for ya. Ain't askin' much, just a made bed and your pjs in the basket. Wanna tell me ya ain't doin' this for ya mama when 'm on set?" Elvis asks, shifting Rebecca on his shoulder. "'Cause ya know the punishment for that."

"No!!! No Daddy. No, we do it. We promise! We just don't wanna— not right now," Elizabeth whines ever the more talkative one out of the two of them. "Can't we make tea first?"

Elvis eyes the table in their room that has not one, but two pillows on it before turning back to look Elizabeth dead in the eye. "And jus' where did ya plan on givin' it to me. Got pillows on the table. Can't make tea without a table, yittle."

Loretta looks up at her daddy and realizes far before Elizabeth that they have lost this battle and moves to grab her pillow from the table, "he's right, Lizzy. Come on— if we hurry we can have the party 'fore pancakes."

Those prove to be the magic words as in a flash Elvis finds himself dragged to a little tiny chair he barely fits in while his oldest daughters rush through getting new clothes on and their beds made— in some kind of way. Once they were done they sat right down in front of him and placed a tiara on his head. "Princess Daddy, would you like some tea?"

He grins and shifts their younger sister yet again as he grabs a cup. "Why yes Princesses Loretta and Elizabeth. I'd love some."

The smell of bacon is what finally wakes you up, your body stretching as best as it can as you try and figure out just how far away the scent is before realizing it's in the same room as you. Your eyes blink slowly as they focus on your husband and your kids dressed and holding plates filled with food.

"What— What's this?" You ask with a yawn. "Shouldn't you be downstairs?"

Elvis laughs before setting Rebecca down next to you and motioning for the others to join her all while trying to not drop their plates. Without missing a beat you grab Anthony and Aaron's plates as the clamber up and only give them the plates back when they plop themselves down on the bed. "Maybe. But they wanted to eat wit' ya. So did I. Figured ya were still tired so we brought breakfast to ya."

"Ya gonna get crumbs ev'rywhere," you try and argue before Aaron takes that moment to shove a piece of his bacon in your mouth to silence you. "Guess I ain't gotta choice. Pass my plate, daddy."

At your playful tone he lets out another laugh and hands you plate as he climbs onto the bed, scooting in next to you. "Hope it's to ya likin', mama."

"Bacon could be a lil' softer, but it'll do fine." Your answer is clearly a joke as you shove the bacon in your mouth with a speed that startles Elvis. A question comes tumbling out of your mouth with a few bacon crumbs as you chew. "What time isit?"

"Ten AM. Didn't let ya sleep the whole day away," he murmurs with bacon in his own mouth. Watching as the gears turn inside your head as you look at your six children and raise an eyebrow. "Don't ya be sayin' it. They got clothes on. All the pjs are in the hampers. Beds look kinda made, but we ain't running an army base in this house."

A snort leaves your mouth before you have a chance to stop it. "Kinda made, huh? Guess that's the best I can ask for wit' daddy not helpin' the yittle hands."

Your youngest daughter pats Elvis's arm almost in a bit of a slapping motion and you have to bite your lip to try and not giggle even as he picks her up and scrunches up his face. "Now what's yittle Becky Wecky doin' hittin' daddy? Hm? Punishin' me for mama? Gonna make me hope one of yer new siblin' is a girl I can have on m''side. Yittle traitor."

Her answer to him is a simple raspberry filled with spit in his face and you finally start to lose it, accidentally spraying bacon crumbs on the bed and in one of your children's hair.

"Ew!!! Mama!"

It's another two hours before you manage to get out of bed and the children are off running amuck in the house as you sneak into the nursery. It's Rebecca's room for right now, but when the twins arrive she's going to be in her own room with her older sisters. You're pretty sure these are going to be your last children, if only because if you have many more you're not sure even Elvis's income can take care of them. The thoughts swirl around in your head and distract you to the point where you don't realize Elvis is behind you until you feel his arms wrap around you and feel his chin on your shoulder.

"What's goin' on in that pretty head of yourn?" The question's simple enough but you hum and wave your hand in a sign for him to ignore it.

"Nothin', Elvis. Jus' thinkin' you said this was an after lunch plan— you putting the other crib in here. Figure I can make it an after breakfast one.

Against your shoulder you feel the muscle in his jaw tense before feeling his exhale against your neck. "Drive a hard bargain, Mrs. Presley. What's in it for me? Do I get a reward for doin' it early?"

You turn to face him and shrug, "your wife's love and appreciation. What more could you want?"

You're quite certain Elvis can see the mirth in your eyes and the way you lift up your eyebrows in what you imagine is a questioning and yet innocent look. Thankfully that same mirth is reflected back at you with a trace hint of arousal as he looks you up and down.

"A bit of dessert 'fore my lunch. I'm a grown man, darlin'. I oughta eat so I keep these handles ya like so much," he whispers, leaning in a little closer and lifting your chin up to look directly in your eyes. "I drag it in here, we head to the bedroom when everyone's nappin'?"

"And you get t'eat the sweetest thing this side of the Mississippi, Mr. Presley?" The joke falls from your lips without a second thought as Elvis starts to laugh a full bellied laugh, tears erupting from his eyes the more he laughs.

"Like ya read my damn mind, Mrs. Presley. We gotta a deal? Can we shake on it?"

"Only if ya get that ice cream I like afterward."

taglist: @ab4eva, @blurredcolour, @butlersxbirdy, @precious-little-scoundrel, @eliseinmemphis, @prompted-wordsmith, @missmaywemeetagain, @lookingforrainbows, @araxw, @thatbanditqueen, @ellie-24, @austinbutlersgirl67, @heartbrake-hotel, @ccab, @18lkpeters, @slutforsomegoodlettuce, @dkayfixates, @kendralavon7, @chasingwildflowers, @notstefaniepresley, @wanderingelvis, @kxnnxy, @powerofelvis, @stylespresleyhearted y'all know the drill with the taglist by now.

#elvis presley #elvis presley x reader #elvis presley x you #elvis presley x y/n #elvis presley fluff #elvis presley fanfiction #elvis presley fanfic #elvis presley fic #austin elvis #austin butler elvis #austin butler elvis presley #austin elvis presley #austin elvis fic #austin elvis fluff #queen of graceland verse #ally writes

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toomuchracket · 1 year

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need some fiancé matty fluff so bad rn, also reader & matty‘s wedding!

let’s be honest, matty would cry watching you walk down the isle at ur wedding. full on tears and he’s not even bothering to wipe them away, he’s just so in love and he doesn’t care who knows it

Have you ever seen those videos of George and Charli DJing ?? I love them so much I imagine them having a set at the wedding 🥹🤍

the wedding!! basing this off of the venue being in london. after the rehearsal dinner finishes in the afternoon, i think you and matty have some time alone at home before you go off to do the "spending the night before the wedding apart" thing. you chill, have some wine and a bit of sexy time (imagine telling matty during sex that "next time we do this i'll be your wife". he'd lose it), before charli drops george and the boys off (they're staying in your house with matty that night) and picks you up so the two of you and the rest of your bridal party can stay in a hotel near your venue. and matty's halfway through the passenger window clinging to you before you leave like "please don't leave me at the altar like a twat" and you're like "as if i'd do that you're the love of my life! meet you there tomorrow" and you kiss.

and then matty looks at charli and goes "and don't you even think about seducing my missus into a torrid lesbian affair tonight" (as she threatens to do quite often, as a bit) and she winks and goes "no promises, healy, i mean look at her", and matty looks at you dreamily and says "... yeah" and you're like "you're gonna cry so bad tomorrow huh" and he's like "absolutely", then kisses you again before charli drives off. and the two of you have fun with your friends/families, but neither you or matty can fall asleep because you're not with the other :(( and he texts you like "can't sleep lol" and you reply "me either lol going for a smoke", and he's like "i'll do the same". so you're out on the hotel balcony and matty calls you and you guys just chat for a bit and it's really sweet, then he goes "s'past midnight angel, we should both get some sleep" and you say "yeah, it's technically our wedding day already and neither of us have gone to bed" and he laughs and says "so it is. sweet dreams, darlin'. see you in a bit" and you both go back to bed and actually manage to sleep. you're both up early, though - you get your hair and makeup all done before the bridal party gets glam, and matty takes mayhem for a really long walk and rehearses his speech on the way before he goes home to get ready. and the two of you are sending voice note updates and its making you even more excited about the day, and then it's time for some pics and then you're ready to go! and matty's probably in a black suit as per, but like the best black suit he's ever worn, and he doesn't even register the bridesmaids walking in because he's too busy craning his neck to catch a glimpse of you. and then you appear and he cries - your dress is perfect, you're glowing, and you just look like YOU, the love of his life. and you're smiling so big at him as you walk down the aisle (it's taking everything in you not to run to him), and when you reach him you say "hi handsome" and matty's like "you're perfect" and you giggle and reach up to wipe the tears off his face and he kisses the palm of your hand as you do, which everyone in the congregation swoons at. you cry at his vows. he cries at yours. adam's son passes the rings up with no problem, his dad behind him quietly sobbing. and then it's time for the kiss - matty being matty, he does something dramatic, either dips you like an old hollywood film or just grabs your face and kisses you. but it's a perfect kiss, full of love and contentment and joy, and then you sign the marriage certificate and that's it! you're married! and you have a little minute alone afterwards where matty's like "you're my WIFE" and you're like "hell yeah i am", and he says "well, wifey, can i kiss you?" and you're like "yeah i wanna make out with my husband". so you do, passionately, and it could turn into full-scale fucking but you both compose yourselves and go out to be congratulated by everyone before it does lol.

and the rest of the night is perfect, too. everyone's happy and laughing throughout the meal and george's best man speech, and crying at matty's (which he just recites to you off by heart). and then the boys get ready and play for you and matty's first dance (accompanied by phoebe, maybe) and it's PERFECT. after that, george and charli do a little dj set to start the party, and you and matty flit between dancing and chatting to people. it soon turns into all your producer and musician friends just taking turns to control the tunes, everyone getting a little tipsy and just having a great time. and there's so much love in the room, specifically between ross and your best friend/maid of honour, who have literally been glued to each other all night - you tried to dance with her to the spice girls but she was too preoccupied kissing him next to the bar lol. and then i think you and matty sneak out for a little smoke, and your hair's a bit messy and you're a little tipsy but you're so happy and matty takes a pic of you, cig in hand and all, because you just look the most beautiful he's ever seen you. and you're like "omg no i look like a mess" and he's like "nope that's my new lockscreen" and you giggle and just kiss him for a bit. and matty says "you're perfect. today's been perfect. i love you so much, wifey" and you say "i love you. can't wait to spend the rest of my life showing you that", and you cuddle. and matty's hands start to get a bit touchy and you're like "excuse me, husband!" and matty's like "as much as i'm enjoying today i just really want to take my wife home now" and you're like "actually fair i think you'll enjoy what i'm wearing under my dress (custom lace set lol)". and matty's like "right that's it i'm stopping the party now!" and you giggle and say "i love you" and he kisses your nose and says "i love you too" <3

#mads answers asks #mads muses #matty asks #fluff asks #fiance!matty #husband!matty

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mermaidsirennikita · 7 months

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Ugh I strongly agree with you on the whole Friendship is the true love 😒🙄 like no give me fucking romance with longing and pining. Also maybe I’m the only one, but I’m getting to tired of modern adaptions with such a slap on the face with the whole narrative of “I’m a woman I can be alone I need no man” or whatever, like we get it, but a lot of people still enjoy romance!!. Lol sorry for ranting on you. I honestly don’t want any of my Historical’s to be adapted, I don’t trust Hollywood.

I think that what bugs me is that there's always this idea projected onto women especially that we can have true love OR true friendship? Which is never something men have to choose between in fiction, lol. Like, I'll use this as an example because it just popped into my head as a movie that appeals across gender lines lol... fucking Top Gun--the movie is insanely homoerotic and Maverick's relationship with Goose (and later Iceman, arguably) is the most pivotal in the film, but he does have a huge romantic arc that is folded into the movie fairly well, and while Charlie may be... absent from the sequel... He never has to prioritize his very intense relationship with his male best friend OR his romantic and sexual relationship. The movie folds both of them in, and honestly? Balances them pretty well. The movie can be a film about homoerotic dude friends, and a TAKE MY BREATH AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY romantic movie (note: the 2022 sequel is MUCH. LESS. ROMANTIC. and MUCH. LESS. SEXY. and I think we haven't gotten INTO that enough).

What I loved about the Wallflowers is that it truly does prioritize female friendships; and not all romances do, even if they claim to. But many do, and here you begin with these four women and you end with them, and like--even when Evie marries St. Vincent, it's very much framed as a life or death decision that does fuck with her because she believes she'll lose Lillian (and Daisy, and probably Annabelle) over it. But it's like--oh. Your friends value you, girl. Your friends actually not only give you the benefit of the doubt, but just assume something real intense must have happened for you to take this action. And once your friends accept that you've decided to fall in love with a local douchebag, they will take a peek at his penis while he's sleeping and compliment you on bagging it.

I think my big issue is that it's not either/or, you can be in love and have amazing friends (and you should??? Have both??? Lmao). And like, yeah, we don't need romantic partners; but it's okay to WANT them.

#romance novel blogging

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mobius-m-mobius · 6 months

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This is the anon who just watched bottle rocket. I found a 25min behind the scenes for it on youtube, and that was. One of the funniest things I have ever watched. There was precisely one (1) woman on there who remembered they were supposed to be promoting the film and fully everyone else is sitting about going 'I dunno man, it just sort of happened ¯\_(ツ)_/¯' The biggest actor they got goes 'I popped over for three days, how am I supposed to remember anything?' Someone says 'we were in talks about making the movie but they'd never even read the script aloud even though they were all living together ...' and another goes 'I'd come in to give them notes and could not for the life of me figure out what they thought about them ...' Then even the one woman who knows what she's on camera for goes 'they're brilliant boys, but they kept sort of just ... wandering off???' and yet another says 'I struggled to find evidence that they ever did any work. I mean presumably they did because a script landed on my table and it was brilliant, but I coulda sworn they weren't doing a thing.'

[The actor playing Bob's older brother yeets in to say "don't buy Owen and Wes' 'aw shucks' act they know exactly what they're doing]

Cue Wes "aw shucks I knew what I wanted the sets to look like but what even is lighting 😆" and Own "aw shucks I'm pretty sure the studio just took us on because they saw us floundering around and figured somone's gotta bite the bullet and throw us a line 😆"

Then all together they go: "and in conclusion we had a bucket of laughs and loved the film but test audiences hated it soooo bad and Sundance wouldn't even take it lol" at which point they all suddenly recall they're supposed to be doing promo and not recounting 'my one weird year with Wes' and speedrun through "Oh right and then it got a great review from a major magazine and a cult following and it's a great film you should go watch it byeeeeee!"

And they're right. It IS a great film and everyone should go watch it. 10 out of 10 perfect crew, perfect bonus features.

Hi again Bottle Rocket anon!! 🚀🎇💖

Oh my gosh I'm so glad you've taken some time in between to look for bts because that particular feature (right here if anyone's interested!) is absolute gold and one of the best things I've ever seen in my entire lmao, have probably watched it as often as the movie itself 😅

Welcome to the perfect insight into Owen since seemingly not doing a thing and somehow ending up with magic is kind of the reputation he's gained, which in a way is as charming as he is but definitely glosses over the fact that like Wes, he's always known what story he wants to tell and how to get there even if the path doesn't line up with one anyone else is following or, y'know, seems comprehensible in any way lol

Honestly couldn't pick a favorite anecdote if I tried, everything you listed is right up there as well as someone commenting their surprise at none of them carrying notebooks then everyone walking in with one the next day even though you just know not a single note about the movie ever made it in there, said biggest actor comparing the experience to being on Hollywood Squares for the day, and Owen trying to exchange his studio purchased first class ticket for coach to pocket the difference then finding out it would go back to their credit card and being like eh guess I'm flying first then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Btw just to add a fun easter egg element to your watching progress, the actor who plays Bob's older brother is actually Owen and Luke's older brother Andrew (which likely goes a long way towards him being like yeah no don't fall for Wes and Owen's bs 🤣) and Owen loves having him on set so if you keep an eye out you may see (and sometimes hear!) quite a few cameos of his 😉

#always say it but tysm for your asks!! they always bring me back to experiencing these things for the first time myself #and i'm so glad you're having just as revelatory of a time and to be able to share in part of it too 🥰#there are various making of features for just about all the movies he and wes did together but this one is far and above the best #and by best i mean features owen the most haha #such a wild insight into how even after all this time he's nothing but genuinely himself #since most of those stories mirror him living with luke while filming loki and on set during several of his most recent projects too 😂😂#sending lots of love your way and thanks again for bringing up the feature! can't wait to hear what your next pick will be <333 #ask

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yeetlegay · 2 years

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Thanks for getting me into Interview with a Vampire! I shall forever hear Lestat saying “You are a library of confusion” somewhere in my mind. (Also, the accents are so fucking on point! I love an authentic accent. How many language does Lestat even speak??)

GLAD YOU’RE HERE ANON THEY’RE SO !!!!!!!!! (Also if you’ve read the books, Lestat saying Louis is a library is so fucking funny on another level)

The accents are absolutely buckwild. I didn’t really expect Sam Reid to lean into it so hard but he did and it’s fucking perfect. I speak French (not native) and I’m pretty used to hearing French on TV and being like “what the fuck kind of linguistic bloodbath did my ears just witness” but just the fact that I can understand what Lestat’s saying is amazing lol. He doesn’t sound native, but then again I think that would make sense? For someone that old who’s been all over the world, I feel like he’d have one of those international school kid accents where he has a vague accent no matter what language he speaks, even his mother tongue.

And fucking JACOB ANDERSON OH MY GOD. I should’ve known he’d kill the accent, the language creator from Game of Thrones was singing his praises for sounding so good with all the languages he spoke in the show. Southern accents in general are hard (see: True Blood) but a NOLA accent? That’s a really specific regional accent that would be difficult for an American, let alone a British person to learn, esp if they’ve never been there. And he sounds so fucking good, it blows my mind. To think he’s actually got two accents in this show, bc his modern one is much lighter now, so he’s oscillating between the two constantly in every episode.

Anyway Sam Reid and Jacob Anderson are eating it up, Hollywood should sit down and take notes. 💅

#yeetle asks #why don’t queue stay #interview with the vampire

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luigitimecritique · 9 months

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I love names of art.

No, seriously. I don't think this part of art gets enough recognition, but it really should. Just think of it, one short phrase is the literal DEFINITION of your piece of art. The words culminate into a meaning, but you make that meaning your own. It is what people call this [thing] that you've created, or depending on who you are, created a gateway to. A good name can entice people to consume media they might not have been too interested in before, and a bad name can do the opposite. Honestly I just wanna ramble a little about some of the best names for media I've seen, that I particularly love (and some that I just find funny, bad, or notable in any other ways).

[SPOILERS FOR LIKE EVERYTHING IN MENTION IN HERE LOL]

La La LandI don't think I've actually talked about this yet on this blog, but La La Land is my favourite movie of all time, for reasons that I WILL discuss for reasons at length some other day. But let's discuss the title. "La La Land." Firstly, let's get the obvious thing that everyone knows about this one first. Yes, the movie takes place in LA, so it's literally LA land. It's incredibly cute, I love it. But other than that, just remember, what is a "La La Land"? A place that you imagine, often as some form of utopia, when in reality, it's nothing but. A place of harshness, masked by a surface level beauty. Sound familiar? This is the exact world of Hollywood (I wonder where that is?), the world of celebrity culture, and stepping into the world of commercialized art. Whether it be acting or music, both Mia and Sebastian have been hit by nothing short of whiplash. Both enter this field, imagining this amazing, beautiful world where they can express their creativity, their selves, and their loves. Inspired by past movies, inspired by past musicians, they practically waltz into this beautiful "La La Land", before figuring out. Whoopsie daisy. Both struggle hard, neither can find suitable long-term careers for years. Then, they meet each other. As their dreams, and their love clash, they find themselves questioning, what is their paradise? Ironically, although they could not have each other, they both led each other towards their dreams. In the end, they were able to achieve a perfect La La Land, just without the other. The epilogue scene, obviously, showing this off beautifully. The epilogue IS just the paradise that both dream of, where everything goes perfect, where they love each other, where there are no blemishes, it is a true La La Land, not in the sense of the realistic view of the world, no, rather the view of this elusive paradise, this world that says "yes, you've made it. Good job". But in the end, as the final notes to their song play, the two remain in a real world, that ultimately separates them apart, a true La La Land.

A Silent Voice

This is good, and I don't think I need to say why it's good. The Japanese name is Koe No Kotachi (The Shape of Voice), and I'm ngl, I think I like the english name for this better. Obviously "A Silent Voice" fits in very well with the themes of the movie (Nishmiya LITERALLY having a "silent voice"). The movie literally explains the title at the end man idek what to say it's great ok moving on.

Fullmetal Alchemist

I love this name with a passion. Combining this very modern, almost violent word, “fullmetal”, with this very mystique and sorta magical word “alchemist” pretty perfectly tells you quite a bit about the story as a whole. One of the major themes of fullmetal alchemist is the intersection between the mystical and the scientific. Beyond that, the name refers to Ed in a pretty ironic fashion, but that’s obvious and not really worth noting. Not much else to say, I’m not smart enough to dissect Fullmetal Alchemist.

The Legend of Zelda

Oh my goodness gracious this is perfect. I don’t know how long I can gush about four words but everything about this just fits. Let’s start from the end, the name “Zelda.” To be fair, I’m not fully sure if this is just because I’ve associated the name Zelda with the game Zelda practically my whole life, but the name just sounds mystical. The name apparently takes its roots from old high german, and it just… inexplicably sounds like the perfect name to me. Calling it “The Legend of Zelda” just adds to this amazing sense of mystery and adventure that this game did bring (kinda, I know it was flawed as fuck but ykw it was 1986). Just hearing those words tells us of what this game will be: an epic adventure, likely involving swords and magic, to beat up some big bad and live out a literal legend. This is HONESTLY a perfect name for this series. In four words, “The Legend of Zelda” tells so much more than other games could tell with their entire 50 hour stories.

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time/Majora’s Mask/Wind Waker/Minish Cap/Skyward Sword/etc.

I have a bit of a problem with these names that just use a gameplay (and/or story) element and slap it onto the Zelda series name. This doesn’t really tell me anything other than the fact that this item will be in the game. The only one of these that is kinda ok is the “Wind Waker” because I guess to an extent Link does a bunch of sailing which is like wind haha! Otherwise, these are names that are only remembered so fondly because they’re Zelda games. Just think of a game, without a series tied to it, called “Ocarina of TIme.” It tells you almost nothing about the game.

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Last Zelda title I swear. Like how the game captured the original magic of the fantastical open world, this title tells us everything we would need to know about this game. The fantastic sense of adventure and sheer freedom that this game brings is honestly amazingly conveyed with this title, breath being a large symbol of freedom, and, well, nature. The entirety of this game is essentially about Link's, or rather, your, journey through the wild. The majority of the game is you taking in the breath of the wild. It still feels like a legend, an adventure, but it helps sell the idea that this is your legend. I honestly struggle to put it into words but there is so much to just take in in this title god I love it.

The Guilty Gear Games

These are fucking stupid and honestly I love them but they're not objectively that good. Guilty Gear itself is a decently catchy name. The alliteration fucks. Otherwise, what does this say? Guilty Gear could frankly be the name of any genre of game. Beat 'em up, visual novel, MOBA (hey this one's true), shooters, hell it could be a fucking rpg for all I know. If it stopped there, it might be fine. But it didn't. The first game isn't that bad, the subtitle in Japan is "The Missing Link", which is ok honestly. Next one is called Guilty Gear X. The Roman Numeral for 10. But ok, that's forgivable, X is probably the cool letter that people use to signify being cool or whatever (re: Mr. Musk). The next game was then called Guilty Gear X2. I do not understand this in the slightest. If Guilty Gear X was, say, a reboot of the franchise, changing fundamental, core ideas and themes of the original, I can understand that you're considering Guilty Gear X as almost it's own thing, as a do-over from the OG Guilty Gear. But it's almost the same. They are both fast, anime fighting games. They both have the exact same characters (with some additions ofc), and the same team and the same everything so why is it even considered a reboot. But ok, let's just call it an reboot from here, I get it, maybe the director just wanted a fresh start, because to be fair, I believe the game didn't sell too well (not sure about this, but it did receive some criticism based on some gameplay and balancing issues). Ok but I'm not moving on yet. Guilty Gear X2 received numerous updates and their names get stupider by the title. First one, is actually ok. Guilty Gear X2 #Reload. I like what they did with the #, and it is pretty indicative of what the game is. Next one is called Guilty Gear XX Slash because it was called Guilty Gear XX in Japan because consistency’s a bitch anyways. Slash is,,, an ok subtitle. I don’t like it as much as #Reload. It’s just slapping on one of the names of Guilty Gear’s attacks. It doesn’t tell me anything about like. The fact that it’s a re-release but other than that, it’s whatever. The next three games end up being named variations of Guilty Gear XX Accent Core, the final being called Guilty Gear XX Accent Core +R. I haven’t the slightest clue how ANY of those come together to form like. Meaning. I do like how long the last name is. But that’s the last Guilty Gear XX game.

The next game is called fucking Guilty Gear 2: Overture WHAT. The fourth game in a series is called the 2nd. It’s like Double Dragon or something. Whatever (Funnily enough, Double Dragon and Guilty Gear are owned by the same company). It, to be fair, is a vastly different game to its predecessors. Nothing like the original Guilty Gear so it’s not exactly a sequel but. Sure. We can exclude it from the “X” series. Next game is an actual fighting game again called Guilty Gear Xrd -SIGN-. I don’t know what the sign is either. I actually always liked the subtitle Xrd though, it’s a neat way to say that it’s the third game in a series. Even though it’s the fifth. It’s also a bit stupid. Like if you hear “Xrd” (pronounced Ex-zerd), how are you going to spell that. It, of course, got an update that ended up booting the -SIGN- from the title and replacing it with “Revelator”. I actually think the name of “Guilty Gear Xrd Revelator” is neat, but my gripe with it is solely in that, again, this does not tell you in the slightest that the game is a re-release. The final update to this game would be Guilty Gear Xrd Rev 2 which is a little better and also a lot worse. It sounds more like a sequel to a series of games called “Guilty Gear Xrd Rev.” Though I guess if you were even a bit in the know, you could tell that this was a re-release so props. But the fact that this game has two whole “clever word plays that are just the short form of the word” makes it just a bit stupid. Rev being the short form for revelator and the whole Xrd shtick means that, if this was your first time hearing of this game, it means almost nothing to you. And again, the phrase “Guilty Gear” doesn’t say jackshit either. Compare this to, say, “Street Fighter 3: Third Strike.” If you haven’t heard of this series before, the “Street Fighter” part tells you that this is a game where you fight people, probably in some urban environment. The “3”, tells you that this is a bit of a series, and “Third Strike” is a clever tag that reiterates the “fighting” aspect and the fact that this is the third game in the series (see this is actually a lie, but shhh). It’s why I believe the latest Guilty Gear name, while not solving many of the problems, is much better than the ones in the past. Guilty Gear Strive, doesn’t say much about the game, but it certainly does not confuse someone. It’s a decently generic name for a game (although I can’t put my finger on why, I will say that I feel the name has a bit of style to it), and it manages to sneak in a tiny bit of wordplay. Since Strive is the fourth game in the X series of games, it fits that IV is within “Strive.” If I recall correctly, this was featured in a trailer, but I can’t find that trailer at the moment unfortunately. All in all, I think the fact that it’s simply called, “Guilty Gear Strive” was a significant, not necessarily the most significant, but still a significant reason for Strive’s success. “Guilty Gear Strive” has so much more widespread appeal than “Guilty Gear XX Accent Core +R.”

I’m not even sure what I just wrote.

All in all, I believe that names of media, for better or for worse, are really interesting to explore. I’ll talk about more names at a later date, but for now, I’m finishing off with that… weird Guilty Gear rant. I sincerely doubt anyone is going to read to the end of this. Rather, this is just an immortalization of my stupid fucking thoughts. Amen.

#guilty gear #la la land #zelda #breath of the wild #titles of stuff #anime #a silent voice #fullmetal alchemist #stupid fucking thing #awesome

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prettyoddfever · 2 years

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do you support brendon ?

Yes.

The yes/no answer isn’t as simple as it should be because the concept of “supporting Brendon” seems to be currently tied into a whole alternate reality that’s based on a whole mess of misunderstandings, rumors, lies, and other things that I don’t even know much about. I have next to no background info about events after 2010, so I can’t begin to pick out what might or might not be true. But the parts I’ve seen people talking about that do involve years I’m familiar with (anything before 2010) come from such a wildly misinformed alternate reality that the info basically only serves as a red flag to show how little those people actually know about the entire topic they’re speculating over. If their understanding of the pre-split band is so minimal that they truly believe some of the things they’re saying, then I’m not really inclined to trust their critical thinking skills about later years either lol. A lot of the other commentary I’ve seen about 2005-2009 basically just tells me that people are willing to take a topic they know next to nothing about, speculate over it in an echo chamber, feel validated because the internet appears to share their perspective, and then treat it like fact.

Some of the other current condemnation of Brendon seems to be coming from people who were born after 1991 and weren’t teenagers at the same time as Brendon. There’s a definite generational gap happening here in the perception of some events, so just bear with me while I go off on a tangent that might be relevant:

My generation is largely a product of the entertainment & culture we were fed at every angle.… not the masterminds of it. We were not born as inherently horrible people. The 2000s were fun at times and I’m nostalgic for a lot of aspects, but I also have to balance that nostalgia with the understanding that the culture was truly shitty in a lot of ways and pretty much only respected straight white cis men (but I feel like they were still harmed too in a strange way since they were taught a lot of toxic behaviors & mindsets). On a slightly related note: I went to film school for a year in 2008 and we were legit told that a Hollywood screenplay needed to have its target audience be “18-to-25-year-old white men.” None of my teachers were white (and very few were men), but that was still the rule… and my teachers acted like that was just how the world worked and you should roll with it if you wanted to have a job. I remember wondering if 18-to-25-year-old white men naturally wanted such a specific type of humor & content, or if Hollywood had taught them to want it in the first place. I went into more detail in this post too about how the culture in the early 2000s was toxic for teen girls and taught us to treat each other horribly.

Modern teen culture seems more individualistic than the teen culture that Brendon & I grew up in. These days people might view a comment that you make as a reflection of who you are, but back then it felt more like we mostly tried to conform to a handful of acceptable images and their expected norms. Your comments & actions gave away whether or not you were a poser... they were a reflection of how well you could fit into a specific group. Strangers, other kids at school, and corporations didn’t give a crap about you (and certainly not your “authentic self” lol). Based on conversations over the past decade with a lot of friends from all over the country, it felt like there was a small box of what was normal/acceptable in the early 2000s and most of us just tried to conform to that for the sake of not being bullied. I’d argue that the kids who went outside of that box of “normal” (ex: goth, emo, Avril Lavigne wannabes, etc) either still tried to conform to their group and were vicious about calling out posers, or else their identity was grounded in the fact that they were not conforming… which only reinforces how the overall culture was something that people were expected to generally conform to. (Ok side tangent: I don’t know how to categorize that large group of kids at every school who just wore colorful sneakers, flared jeans, some kind of unisex graphic tee that was probably for a band or from a school activity, hoodies, and maybe got chunky highlights in their hair but nothing too wild. They fit in but didn’t try too hard. Anyways, their personality or sense of humor usually still matched what was common/“normal”). In my own experience, it really wasn’t that hard to be popular back then (and thereby safe). You just wore the right clothes & hairstyle and adopted a personality & sense of humor that matched what people expected… and suppressed almost every aspect of yourself in the process lol. Nobody talked about mental health when I was in high school, but I’m positive that everyone I knew wasn’t as fine as we all pretended to be.

side note: when I talk about the “2000s” I’m mostly focusing on 2000-2006. I think the fashion, music, and culture in 2008 slowly shifts to feel more like the early 2010s. By 2008 tween magazines had also significantly cut back on the content that basically bullied female celebrities. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that our culture started changing once sites like Tumblr & Twitter gained momentum throughout 2009 and people could access alternative views & ideas and converse with the world at large instead of the small bubble of people who already shared your interests on a specific forum. I don’t know how to phrase this, but there was a definite shift once ordinary people could direct the conversation online and could make their voices heard instead of just consuming the culture that was given to them. I’m not sure that teens these days fully grasp what the world was like before everyone was so connected… even just the concept of having internet and a cell phone in 2004 was very different from what that meant by 2007.

Teen culture was largely dictated to us by the media back then (in magazines, tv, MTV, movies, and other similar avenues that didn't have the ability for true dialogue or for their audience to have their voices heard regularly. There weren’t many decent books for teens, though, so we couldn’t even learn about diverse worldviews that way. Twilight eventually showed the publishing industry that young adults could be a very profitable niche, but it took many years to get the YA industry to what it is now. Also, the drama in YA books back then was like some white girl from a middle class family was anxious her classmates might discover she was “poor” and a poser, or whatever generic nonsense). Anyways, media showed us what to aspire to – we did not matter as individuals. These days there’s a much wider range of sources you can turn to for inspiration & ideas, and it doesn’t really feel like there’s some kind of overall homogeneous culture being dictated anymore. Social media has more power than a print magazine talking about last month’s events ever could (I know that algorithms mess with stuff and corporations buy out influencers etc, so I’m not saying that everything is perfect or trying to analyze anything on an intricate level here. I’m just pointing out how the channels that we get information through have expanded significantly since 2006… and I feel like that’s weakened the ability of the media & corporations to shape our culture or dictate what’s “normal” in the same way that they did in 2003. We have so many alternative options now and can easily see other ways of thinking or living… and sometimes just being able to actually see so many people who support a certain idea helps us critically examine our own understandings). Advertising also seems to have made a shift towards treating the individual more like an actual person (ex: the whole self-care trend). There’s also an amazing push for diversity & inclusion that celebrates the individual. There are so many aesthetics for your personal style, and people seem way more into authenticity and creating their own image via social media. So I think teens growing up in this culture might expect Brendon’s comments to be a reflection of his personal core values & authentic self, but I see them as a clear reflection of the culture he worked really hard to conform to. Obviously it’s still wrong to make those types of comments either way. But understanding where they come from & the motivation behind them can make a difference in how you view Brendon.

I really want to emphasize that some kids in my generation worked extra hard to conform for the sake of safety. There’s a strong push now to condemn bullying, but back then bullying was often treated as an unfortunate but inevitable part of society (and in my own experience, it felt like the bullies were almost celebrated… like many adults were proud of them for basically winning at life). My middle school certainly took a blame-the-victim approach or just didn’t care. It never even occurred to me to tell a teacher about the constant sexual harassment that many sophomore girls endured from the senior boys in our math class because it all seemed so completely normal to me. All of the schools I attended had pretty much the same advice about harassment & bullying: just ignore it… if you don’t give them the satisfaction of a response then they’ll move along (supposedly). Wearing a tshirt that says “it’s cool to be kind” in 2004 would have basically been like taping a target onto yourself and “asking for it,” but I’ve seen those shirts for sale in recent years (and felt a surge of terror for the poor child who might be caught in one before I remembered that things might be different now). Obviously bullying is still a problem today, but society’s overall attitude towards it has changed so much that I don’t know if today’s teens fully understand the environment that pushed a lot of us to try to fit in so hard. Some kids back then made it through high school just fine without changing much about themselves, but a lot of us learned to make ourselves the smallest target possible by fitting in with a group as much as we could. That applies to more than just high school, too. Marketing & the media basically thrived on creating a very narrow group of people who were “in” and then everyone else was a target to scorn or mock as they scrambled to pass for whatever was deemed acceptable that year.

The people I know in my own life who are having a harder time fully letting go of harmful ingrained behaviors & phrases are the kids who were bullied, didn’t have many friends in high school, were autistic, or for whatever other reason worked harder to practically memorize the social norms and “rules” of fitting in & being acceptable, or at least staying safe. It just seems obvious to me that Brendon would’ve been one of those kids. If you paid even the slightest attention to the pre-split band, you’d know that Brendon visibly strived to be likable and good enough. I have honestly never seen someone try so incredibly hard. He was almost desperate at times with his eagerness for acceptance & approval from the other guys in the band. Brendon also talked a lot about how he didn’t have many friends in high school… kids were generally not very kind to him. Brendon was “weird” with his ADHD and didn’t fit into what was considered normal. He tried hard to be funny. He also had the exact personality & mannerisms that my friends and I had even though he went to high school thousands of miles away from us. He was such a typical teen in 2005.

Any comment that Brendon might have made over a decade ago about wanting to rape a crowd would have sounded like a completely normal enthuastic/affectionate statement to anyone who was in high school in 2002-2005 (like Brendon). I’m not sure if people are trying to turn the cultural norms of a future decade into the status quo of the past or why they’re pointing out that moment, but obviously a comment like that wouldn’t be a literal statement (the fact that I even need to explain that feels so strange). Back then, screaming that you want to rape someone was largely a sign of affection. Running down the school hallway and yelling “Anna just raped me!” meant that she tackle-hugged you with affection. Yes, it’s a truly disgusting thing to say… but it’s not like a single one of us came up with that phrase on our own. We’re just a product of our generation. As another example, Brendon saying “I’m going to f— you, I don’t even care if you want it” to a crowd would be completely playing into what the crowds had largely screamed enthusiastically about for so many years. Again, I don’t see this as something like Brendon’s true thoughts coming out whatsoever… I see it as him stepping into a role onstage and playing into an image that he thought/knew people wanted.

I’ve seen some recent screenshots of people who have concluded that the only way that the “n-word” could possibly casually slip out of Brendon’s mouth is if he’s such a deep-rooted racist that his thoughts are just like that normally. And that kind of conclusion only reveals a staggering lack of understanding about the world that Brendon grew up in. People said the n-word all the time to be casually cool when I was in high school without thinking critically about what they were even saying. The motivation there came purely out of a desire to fit into the culture of that era (ex: Paris Hilton said it lots). I went to a high school that was like 98% white and kids would greet each other with “sup my n––“ all the time. Idk why everyone threw up gang signs for pictures either or tried to “talk ghetto” randomly (their phrase, not mine).

update: let me make this clearer with an example. Brendon said the n-word while singing the lyrics to a song. Some people seem to think that the fact that he didn’t hesitate must automatically mean that he’s just SO racist that the word feels normal to him. You’re projecting current cultural norms onto Brendon when you assume that he grew up with the same conditioning you have. I’m not saying that Brendon shouldn’t be held to those norms! The effect of his action is the same regardless of the cause... but wow people are certainly misunderstanding the cause. When Brendon & I were teenagers it would’ve been completely normal to say that word and sing those lyrics. Right now the word is obviously wrong to say, so you’d currently expect someone to hesitate or avoid the word altogether. But that is literally the opposite of the world that Brendon grew up in.

Anything that people didn’t like back then was labelled “gay,” “homo,” or “retarded.” I remember a short season where some kids were saying “that’s so Asian” instead of “that’s so stupid.” I think one kid from my school just heard the phrase somewhere and other kids automatically repeated it without thinking so they could be cool & prove that they were still fitting in. Yes, it’s obviously a major form of privilege to be clueless that what you’re saying is racist and/or harmful and has an actual impact. The driving need to fit in, not expose yourself as a target, and just survive high school sadly wasn’t particularly conducive to questioning social norms back then. I’m glad that social pressure is shifting these days so that it’s cool to care, to speak up, or to examine how others are affected by our words & actions, but back then it was like the opposite.

Common phrases and the main culture’s sense of humor back then confused me because the racist, sexist, homophobic, and generally mean comments didn’t seem very funny to me, but I just figured that something was wrong with me… so I worked extra hard to learn when to laugh at the correct times so I would seem normal. A lot of the humor and popular phrases back then were just inherently cruel & harmful. It’s not like people were never aware of that fact either… it’s more like being incredibly mean was often supposed to be funny? And if you were hurt by it, then people acted like you just needed to grow a thicker skin and lighten up.

There are obviously SO many things wrong with the stuff I just mentioned, and the fact that “most people did it” doesn’t excuse anything or make it any more acceptable now. But it’s going to take time & patience to help some people in my generation unravel the truly messed up culture that permeated almost every aspect of our lives. For some people, it might take a bit longer to shake that learned “cool” armor and condition themselves to a new normal (especially if they’re still hanging around someone else who’s stuck in the past). Obviously some people are just racists who don’t want to change, but I believe (or hope) that most of my generation would’ve never done those sorts of things if we were privileged enough to grow up with today’s type of internet. Our society absolutely still has a long way to go, but I hope that today’s teens can balance that knowledge with the understanding that my generation started from a very different place than they started from. We’re not the ones who created the culture of the early 2000s. We were just kids who grew up pressured to conform to the narrow world we knew. Yes, that culture is truly disgusting and inexcusable in hindsight. So cancel that culture then and help people recover & grow past that. There’s enough hatred in the world already without you adding to that. It seems like some people are getting a sense of power out of creating a mob verdict these days and almost celebrating their attempts to destroy Brendon. It’s strange to see people treat others terribly in the name of supposedly crushing hateful behavior.

At the same time I know that ignorant comments harm a lot of people, and that shouldn’t be a secondary concern that’s less important than helping my generation learn/change/grow. So I don’t have any answers here. I’m not happy with the culture I was raised in and I don’t want to turn my back on people my age who are still working on shedding that. Obviously nothing is as clear-cut or simplistic as people might want to make it seem. By continuing to support people who might have harmed others, am I automatically discounting those who have been harmed? Can’t you help both sides heal and care about them both? I’m still figuring things out. Also, if I dropped everyone in my life who had seriously messed up, I would literally be alone because we are all flawed humans. It’s not like I’m tolerating unacceptable behavior out of some self-serving desire to never be alone, either… the point is that I care about those people, so I want to try to help them succeed in life if they’re willing (and if it’s safe). Forgiveness is not even remotely the same thing as dismissing someone’s actions btw. It’s seeing a human who is more than their mistakes, trying to understand that person, and choosing to love them & support them as they grow. But I respect other people who might choose differently.

What’s important to me is that Brendon genuinely seems like he wants to do better and truly cares about other people. He’s shown that over & over with his actions. You can unfollow or hate me for not canceling Brendon if you’d like, but I’m glad that I refused to turn on Ryan in 2009 and kept an open mind there (that whole situation is a bit similar). Hopefully I’ll feel the same way as I continue to support Brendon.

side tangent: I worry about Jon Walker sometimes. He’s been put on this pedestal of being a perfect guy who is unproblematic, so his current identity would just be wiped out if he does one thing wrong. Too many people seem to hold up a celebrity as some sort of god, place part of their identity in him, and then lash out when it turns out that he’s actually a flawed human who didn’t reflect the image that they wanted for themselves.

Some aspects of teen culture haven’t changed tbh. Kids are still waiting for you to screw up by breaking social norms so they can gang up on you and ostracize you. It’s awesome that the expected social norms are shifting towards normalizing kindness & inclusion instead of the negative stuff from the 2000s that was basically the opposite. But it’s truly strange the way that some people these days are acting like attacking & harassing a person who’s been deemed worthy of cancelling (or their fans) somehow makes them righteous. It’s still cowardly cyberbullying. I’m paraphrasing a friend here, but at least teens in my generation largely owned the fact that they were being mean. Cyberbullying was sometimes a bonding activity for teens in the 2000s and it seems like not much has changed in that regard. Obviously it’s perfectly ok to dislike someone… you are free to have whatever opinions you want about Brendon. But bonding with other people by bullying Brendon & his fans seems so toxic. Your common interest is literally hatred. And some people just seem overly excited to have an excuse to go full steam ahead with the hatred they seem to have been determined to aim at Brendon no matter what.

I don’t think Brendon’s silence over the past couple years is “deafening,” damning, or in any way strange. All four band members were trained by their PR team to stay silent and carry on through most rumors in 2006-2009. I know there’s a totally different situation in our culture now where people have way better access to celebrities online, but I still think it’s odd to expect Brendon to publicly acknowledge online rumors. That’s a dumb PR move that only draws further attention to what’s being said. It might feel like thousands of people are already talking about it, but that’s nothing compared to what media coverage of an actual statement would generate (ex: compare what fans were saying about Ryan’s possible cocaine picture in April 2009 to what countless people were talking about after Ryan actually addressed the cocaine picture from July 2009… the fact that it became “the cocaine picture” says enough. Ryan’s statement to MTV didn’t even matter to the fans who were convinced he was a drug addict whose life was spiraling out of control, but it certainly drew outside attention to the rumors about Ryan and what the fandom had been saying. I’d also argue that it contributed to some media perception of Ryan moving forward). Or look at how the Brent situation was just a fandom meltdown & normal news until it spun out of control with the band’s statements to the media and escalated into a total headache. Making a public statement on a large platform usually isn’t the best way to end rumors.

Brendon already did make a statement in November 2020, though. And I saw so many people brush that off. So would anyone even care what Brendon had to say or believe him if he bothered to further “break his silence”? Or would everyone just brush Brendon’s comments aside and say that they still know the “truth” no matter what? I mean, just look at how people currently treat the band’s split. All four guys (plus all of the people surrounding the band) made countless comments that all explained the exact same thing that fans had been observing for years at that point. The split made complete sense to me and was a reallllly long time coming, yet kids today seem to ignore basically everything about the irl band and would rather believe whatever drama they invent on their own.

I don’t know how Brendon can even start to address some of the allegations when they’re so grounded in an alternate reality/perception of both him & the band. Is he supposed to sit down and give people a history lesson of the actual dynamics of the early band or culture in the 2000s?? If he didn’t spend literal hours explaining the basic history that people are clearly lacking, would they even believe his claims that something isn’t true, or would they just dismiss it because it conflicts with the reality that everyone in their bubble shares? It seems futile for him to even begin to craft any sort of statement. People have already shown that they are determined to hate Brendon & tear him apart no matter what. In early 2020 Brendon seemed like a puppet who was dancing around trying to placate the section of the internet that hates him, yet people still ignored his genuine attempts to do better, ignored whatever apologies or explanations he made on Twitch, and kept harassing him & his fans. He definitely couldn’t win then, so why would one more statement now make any difference? If you walk away from an abusive situation, that’s not suspicious or a sign of weakness on your part. I think it’s healthy that Brendon could distance himself from everything.

Also: if you can look back to 2011 for examples of things to cancel Brendon for, then why do other Decaydance band members get away with things they said & did in 2006-2008? It’s like that one girl who went to jail for downloading music from Limewire… it was weird that she got singled out and had to face extreme consequences for actions that a good chunk of her generation did too (except maybe that’s not the best analogy because most of us could spot that stealing music was wrong even if people still went ahead with it). It’s just so strange to see people act like Brendon is the antichrist while the rest of his peers are fine nbd. There also seems to be a double standard with how some fans treat Ryan vs Brendon now. They’ll work hard to justify anything Ryan’s done and point out how he’s been through a lot with people treating him like crap. That scenario should absolutely apply to Brendon too, yet those people hold him to an entirely different standard for some reason. A lot of the people I’ve seen who are very anti-Brendon seem to have a loose understanding of the band’s pre-split years. They also tend to act like they need to be against Brendon in order to support Ryan now as though those two are somehow connected in a strange sort of seesaw where you’re automatically raising one side by lowering the other. Ryan and Brendon are very different, separate people who are both flawed humans. It’s totally possible to support them both.

Some of the perceptions people currently have of the band in 2005-2009 essentially take away Ryan’s agency, turn him into a passive victim, erase his creative vision & goals, infantilize him, and basically ignore him and what he actually wanted. You’re not doing Ryan any favors by erasing him & replacing him with your own creation. When you try to claim that Ryan left P!ATD because Brendon was some kind of horrible person, then you erase the real people, years of context, and basically do yourself an injustice because you’re so absorbed in an alternate reality that you’re missing out on knowing about the real-life band. I understand that people are more likely to be invested in a storyline that they connect with emotionally, so reality might seem less interesting in comparison to what they’re inventing through speculation with their friends… but you can’t actually rewrite history. Claiming that it’s “impossible to know everything” about the pre-split band also isn’t an excuse to validate whatever story you want to invent. These events did not happen that long ago lol... I wasn’t in high school during some kind of prehistoric culture that’s been lost to time. If you feel like there’s a mystery to solve about the early band, then that’s a problem with your knowledge... not the actual band. Most of the fake stories that people currently believe about pre-split Panic would never seem plausible if you had even the most basic understanding of the band during that time period (and the same thing goes for a lot of the current claims against younger Brendon... like if you had some basic context for those years then you’d just roll your eyes at how some teens today actually think that the “Lana Jade letter” was serious/real).

When I first got back into the fandom in 2020 I started to reconfigure my understanding of the early band to match what a couple fans were telling me since I hadn’t thought about P!ATD much in like a decade and it seemed smarter to trust people who had been in the fandom in recent years. For a few months in mid-2020 I was ready to believe anything about Brendon since the reality I remembered didn’t match up with the narratives I was being told. Then I slowly figured out that one of the girls I was talking to was a compulsive liar, the other girls meant well but were very misinformed, and the current fandom is basically a mess that I don’t want much to do with. So now I’m just using this account to focus on the early eras as I knew them. That doesn’t mean that I’m ignoring the post-split years because of any opinion about them (I don’t know them well enough to even form an opinion tbh). It’s rather depressing for me to look at current stuff & see how much the guys have aged because then I can really see how much of my life went by while I was sick for a decade. So my decision to keep my head mostly buried in 2005-2009 is just my method of coping right now... there is no statement there about the modern band or anything. I still support Brendon, Ryan, Spencer, & Jon as individual people and hope they’re doing well! I'm definitely curious to see whatever they might be working on, but I'm not particularly interested in getting too involved in the modern fandom right now.

#brendon urie

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