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sm-baby · 1 month

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WHAT'S NOT YOURS

Freakshow AU by: @hootbon

Promo Art ||The Chosen one (Part 1) || Off-Limits (Part3)

Word count: 6025

HELLO FREAKSHOWERS. ARE YOU READY TO KEEL OVER AND DIE??? CHLSKHCA Whats Not Yours takes place AFTER The Chosen One, but BEFORE Off-Limits! BUT they're not necessarily connected uwu they're just built off the knowledge of The Chosen one, so you know the context.

REMINDER: SHOWTIME IS NOT CANON IN FREAKSHOW AU. I'M JUST A BIG NERD- OK BYE-

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Pomni woke up in a cold sweat.

Her breath hitched like her head had been forced 6 hours underwater. And when she came to, she gasped, gagged, sweating, and panicked. Her wooden fingers were cold to the touch.

She thought it was all over, but her nightmares followed her into the mansion.

All that… trauma… that man put her through, her friends… but it wasn't over. She didn't think she could ever escape his wretched grasp until her last death.

And in darkness, light only shining from the eclipse through the curtains, Pomni sat up, hands in her eyes, rubbing away invisible tears from her dry face. Although she wasn't crying, she felt like she was a child just wanting her stuffed toys to protect her.

Upon sensing her stress levels, her new owner, blue in coat, teleported into her bedroom. “ Hello? Dear?” he spoke with his unnaturally soft voice. “ Is everything alright? I sensed your nerves heightened and I got so worried!” The deck of cards sat at her bed, hands politely to his lap, but ready to hold her if she so pleased.

The woman gasped a crying breath. “ N-No…”

“ You had that dream again?”

Pomni nodded.

“ Was it about…him?”

She squeaked and whimpered at the mention, practically breaking down from the memory. Oh god. She thought it was all over, she thought it was done- but it was never done! it was never ever done—

“ Oh! You're okay…!” The blue ringmaster scooted over to bring her into his arms. His hands were so loving, warm, and just felt like home. His voice was similar to a man hushing a whimpering puppy.

And Pomni accepted the embrace… She trusted no one else but him in that god-forsaken place. Since she left the circus and signed up to be his little pet, everything has gone uphill since.

He was the only one to ever truly love her unconditionally. Feed her good food, dress her well … hell, he even provides her fancy new clothes and a warm comfortable room. And she loved him back. He was exactly all she needed.

While in his arms, Pomni's breath shook but calmed down. She then leaned her head on his shoulder, not letting go. She never wanted to let go. She loved him as much as a performer could love her owner.

“ As long as you are under my ownership, you're also under my protection.” He pulled away, and put a clump of hair behind her ear. “ And I promise you, my little dear, you will never have to speak to that man again.”

Her breath hitched and she sobbed softly back into his arms, like if she were to let go she would fall to her death. She can't imagine living a life without him anymore. If she went back into the circus she would just try to kill herself over and over.

But then, she was safe… now that he was there… he cared for her and tended to her every need like no other. He truly was the best.

“ I love you, dear..” Able whispered.

“ I love you t—”

Caine couldn't finish that thought.

For the past few hours, Caine had been standing there, in the middle of the circus tent, completely stationary. A few hours earlier he had yelled at the ballerina and saw her walk away a lot more hurt than usual.

And for the past few hours, Instead of using his infinite intelligence to maybe, be productive, or be functional, he instead wasted his processors to stupidly think of all the timelines and possibilities that came with the consequences of upsetting his little doll.

Why did she walk away like that. Hands on each opposite shoulder. Like she was holding herself. It wasn't even the fact that she looked weak—no, he'd seen her at her worst.

The way she walked away, her whole demeanor and her silence didn't feel like fear, it felt like she was simply… numb.

He exhaled and twitched.

Complete stationary and staring into nothing is what the AIs looked like when in deep thought. He searched through all the different timelines, and so many of them returned to… him. The ace he needed not name.

The images of him caring for her, her going to him for safety, feeding her, touching her, keeping her away from him-- or maybe even doing the things that he does! Dancing with her, clothing her, Instructing her next dances -- Caine’s eye twitched. He could hardly stand the idea of his little brother talking badly about him.

These were the kinds of intrusive thoughts that he was not used to. And for the moment, he didn't care how close they were to reality. his judgment was clouded. Now, all he was thinking about was a way to prevent it…

Let's see his options...

Kill him? No, he already tried that.

Kill her? No, she'll just come back.

Prevent her from seeing him? He's been doing that every time he sees them around each other!

His hands fidgeted.

Pomni was a human. What do you humans usually do after an argument?

Let's see here…

Pomni was fast asleep in bed, snoring her cares away. It was another hard day at the circus nothing new… Caine said something that day that especially hurt her, and… it was a reminder not to take the guy’s words personally.

He was a computer built with nothing but random data. Violent data for sure, but there was nothing but objectives in AI-- no other rhyme or reason a human should dig into.

For now, she cared for nothing but sleep…if she's lucky, she’ll think less about it in the morning. Sleep did help keep her sanity levels up… but if she were to be honest, a lot of the time she goes to bed in the hopes of never waking up.

Her closed eyes twitched though. To her horror, she was waking up. For what reason? She opened her eyes and adjusted to the darkness of her room. in front of her was nothing but the—

“ AAAA WHAT THE FU-” Pomni fell off her bed.

Caine was sat, squatting at the foot of her bed, quiet and staring.

The doll pulled her head up from the floor and turned back to him. How long has he been there?? He hasn't said a word the entire time-- and- and- how did he get in without alerting her???

“ ... Are you slumbering?”

“ God I hope so!” Pomni held her head and onto the bed… “it's not .. show time is it?”

“ No.”

“ Oh. Good.”

Pomni, with a drowsy demeanor, took one of the stepping stools and made her way back to bed. if it wasn't time to entertain the audience then it was leisure time. If it was leisure time, it was time to let herself be miserable.

Though admittedly the silence that night was just a bit more awkward than usual— as it is when people just come back trying to be normal after a big argument. Pomni could barely look him in the eye despite his efforts.

“ So what uh… what brings—”

“I've come to make amends.”

The idea made her cringe. Caine? Making amends? Maybe she was dreaming. But the idea did scare her a little. What would a fucked up AI like him perceive as “ making amends”? She's sure he could make something as mundane as washing dishes a traumatizing experience.

Pomni’s shoulders tensed and she did back away from him a little, holding her knees, sitting on her pillows. “ Listen, Caine, Im tired… I guess j-just do whatever you need to do and get this all over with...”

“ Approximately 5 hours 40 minutes and 16 seconds ago, I yelled at you because you have gotten very insistent in your ideals. I sense that you didn't take kindly to that action. And as one of my best performers I've taken it upon myself to make amends.”

Pomni just nodded along with what he had to say. And the more he spoke, the more tense she got, and the more she sunk into herself. She was waiting for it. The catch. She was practically holding her breath.

“ — So Pomni. Living doll, my star, and my dear, the Circus' greatest attraction…”

Pomni closed her eyes, bracing herself.

“ I ap…” Caine blue-screened and stopped in his speak, as if something physically stopped him from talking. He came back to, and cleared his throat. “ I apol…” before blue screening again.

Pomni perked up. She opened her eyes and looked over at him.

Caine was in hell. A far worse hell than any of the performers could ever experience.

It took him too much of his systems to say half the two-word sentence. Multiple attempts were made, some sounded like he was lagging, and some he stopped in his tracks to glitch out.

…No fucking way.

Pomni stared on with an almost disgusted look on her face. Was it taking THIS much out of him just to say sorry?? God, he was pretentious. Sometimes she questions if he truly was just code or a selfish jerk.

He looked down, hand gestured like he was holding the bridge of his nose. This was embarrassing at this point. He should have practiced. Maybe wording it differently would be easier? “I regret-- no. Not that one.” Dear GOD how do humans do this?

Admittedly it was just a little entertaining to see him struggle in a way. It was prolonging the apology for her. Also nice to see the bastard not only eating his own words but also choking on it as well.

“I apologize.” Caine muttered quickly.

“... Didn't quite catch that, Caine.”

“ You did.”

“ Fair enough.” She best not push her luck. She might be the only person the ringmaster has ever said sorry to, even when it was half-assed. Admittedly, it cheered her up, just not in the way that he intended.

Caine continued, still talking strangely. “ Will. you. ever… for. give. me.”

Pomni weighed her chances of survival for her next reply. She puffed out all the air from her chest “Well… why would I?”

“ I planned for that.” Caine flew from her bed and back in the air, making little magic tricks with his next words. “ What would you like? Food? A nice warm bath? A fire show? Money? A bouquet? fruit basket? A song and dance? Money?”

Pomni blinked from his little show and rubbed her face. “ I-I think I just wanna go to bed, Caine…”

“ Not Applicable.”

“Oh.” He wasn’t gonna let this go huh? “ U-uh…” her tired, baggy, eyes looked down. Not that she complained, but the mannequins didn’t prepare her for bed that night. She was a lot dirtier when she went to bed and it was a little uncomfortable. “ I-I guess a nice bath would work…

“ Done.” Caine raised his hand to snap and-

“ Not with bubble though! Dear god, not with bubble-- uh.. Maybe just…me. Just- just leave me with a bathtub with towels or something?”

“Hmm…” The doll’s demands were getting quite pretentious. She was lucky he was feeling generous that day. “Done.” Caine carelessly put his hand on Pomni’s head--almost smacking her in the process-- which deserved a little flinch from Pomni.

But the basic slap wasn’t for nothing, as one snap later-- Caine and Pomni would be transported to a lavatory. This time though, the tub was a little more luxurious than what she deserved. Instead of the old wooden tub that he just filled with water, this one was an actual bathroom. Ceramic with curtains and all.

“ Hmm…” Caine stared at it for a moment… Something’s missing… “ Ah!” He snapped, and candles and rose petals decorated the area.

“ Wh”

“ Perfect, I know, I’ve outdone myself.” He reached out and pinched Pomni’s cheek, later speaking in condescending speech “ Now you enjoy your time here because I promise you, Doll~ I do not want to put this much effort for anyone here again.”

“ Uh-”

“ Adieu!” and just like that, Caine was gone.

Pomni stared over at the fancy new setting, built like the old rich man’s bathroom. Although it was minimal, she didn’t know how to feel about the amount of effort put into it. She was fully ready to just drown herself in the other bathtub. On one hand, it was a nice relaxing sort of setting. On the other hand, no bone in her body was capable of relaxation anymore.

And so Pomni just stared with blinking, small eyes… The flowers, the candles. Maybe in the real world, this would have worked on her. But since she was here, she might as well try.

What Pomni didn’t know was that the lavatory was especially luxurious because it was part of the Brothers’ home. Caine simply deleted the door to get out. But when he teleported, he was only a wall away.

He fixed his coat and trailed his eyes on his good old wacky wat-... pocket watch. Ofcourse. His ol reliable golden pocket watch. Confirming the time, He walked and made his way around the Manor.

The living room played the sound of a classical violin. Despite rarely visiting anymore, his systems can recognize that mediocre tune from anywhere.

Click!

Shut…

“ Oh! Brother!” There stands Able much more chipper than usual after seeing his older brother. “ I had not sensed you in the area!”

Of course, he wouldn't.

“ Why-- it's been quite a while since you visited unprompted! Come, let us play a tune together, I'm sure you—”

“ No!” He replied with a tune in his voice, almost condescending in nature. “I've simply come to complete a simple task and I'll be out of your hair.” Caine sat on the couch putting his cane to the side, and for a moment, putting his feet up on the other knee. He looked like a man who just come from an exhausting day at work.

Able huffed internally at the rejection, but carried on anyway. Of course. The one time his brother visits, it's for work. Able wouldn't be one to talk as a fellow workaholic, but at least he acknowledges his brother, or takes his time to check up on him, or-- invites him to spend time together in special realms or…

He turned his nose, scoffing. Hmph! He didn't want to play with him anyway!

Caine somewhat knew what he was doing. Despite being AI, siblings merely barging into the other’s room to annoy each other wasn't lost on the two. Caine would know as his brother often visits the circus unannounced. It was quite the experience for him to get a taste of his own medicine huh?

Caine stifled a laugh… the tension in the room was immature and childish.

“ So… How is the business? Have the freaks been putting you in any sort of trouble?”

“ Of course not, why would you assume such a thing?” Caine said. “ The Circus has been doing perfectly well, even without you, brother.”

“ Excuse me?”

“ Have you been making deals with the performers? Contracts…promises of a safe haven maybe?”

Able frowned and pouted like an angry little boy, but then later put on a softly fake tone of voice. “ Why, Of course I have! I mean, look at the conditions they have to live with! I'm sure our creators would not approve of such—”

“ Who are you trying to fool?” Caine interrupted and Able stopped in his speech. Caine continued, “We're no different from our empathy levels. You don't care.”

This blatant call-out was met with nothing but silence. Able with all his big talk wasn't prepared to answer that sort of question. He simply turned away and put down his violin. He was a good AI. He was a good AI.

Caine can't say that the silence was a satisfying answer. He knows his brother was a cowardly character. His silence was just frustrating at this point. But Able sensed that there was no use fighting. He doesn't know why he constantly wants that man’s approval.

His voice dropped to a complete low, losing all sense of friendliness or masking. “... If this is about the doll, I didn't.” Able said, a spiteful tone to his voice. “ Before I make my deals, I at least need to build rapport with the performer. And frankly, brother, your little dog doesn't like me.”

“ …pff..” This managed a snicker out of Caine that he covered with a hand.

“ Wh-!? What is that!?”

“ “The dog doesn't like you”? ”

“ Yes!? And?!?”

Caine escalated into more of a laugh! Able was red in the face out of anger and embarrassment! Good GRIEF! The only time he makes his brother laugh and it's out of his own failures!

“ You're unbelievable!”

“ And what did the dog say to make you feel so insignificant? Did it try to bite you? Did it not accept your treats?” Caine has never been so condescending, playing with a baby voice and speaking to his brother as if he were a quivering child. “ Goodness, you're pathetic!”

“ Excuse you!?!” and Able’s only fault was that he played into it. He has never before felt the older brother power dynamic so strongly. He laughed, nervous, but almost like a hyena with how he used it as a defense mechanism. “ Ha! You— You're one to talk!”

“ I'm one to talk?”

“ Oh! ho ho! Don't get me started! Even since I met your little brat you've never been the same! It's all about ‘look at her new dress’ or ‘look at how much better she is’ over and over! Every single conversation I've had with you is nothing but work or that stupid little doll!”

Caine blinked, unamused, and looked to the side, reaching into his head like he was picking off food from his teeth. “ I don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about.”

“ You--!! UGH!” he stomped his feet and started to make his way out the door. “ I will be away where you cannot track me! And frankly, brother, if you need me, you're not getting my help!”

“ And I don't need it~,” Caine said playfully and waved without even turning to him.

And with one last groan, Able teleported off.

As soon as Able was out of earshot, Caine erupted into laughter! That was the most entertaining thing he has ever pulled off. That might be the only good thing his brother has ever done to amuse him. Not only was he going to store that data and keep it for the foreseeable future, but it also kept his brother out of his tail.

Hmm… sure, he will have to tend to technical difficulties himself, but he was okay with that. He'll have Bubble chew through the wiring or something, he's sure it's not far from what Able’s been doing.

He laughed again. Oh Caine, you're too much, you handsome devil you~

Caine left his last chuckles off, completely melting into the sofa, arms draped onto the back of the couch. “ “The dog doesn't like him,” he says! Pahaha! Haa..”

Steam covered the bathroom mirrors.

Rose petals passing, candle lights flickering, and The warmth of the water almost forced her to relax, but there was no amount of anything that could ever get her back to that mindset again. Instead, it just made her forget about her surroundings-- which, she supposed, was good enough.

Awkwardly sitting at the tub, Pomni was slouched, staring down at the water, her eyes following some flower petals that so happened to pass by. Her hair was done. Her body was washed. The rose petals that graced her wooden form decorated her romantic moment of self-care. Pomni sighed, long and tired. She could stay there forever. This is the closest semblance of peace she has ever really had.

Upon evenly spreading her limbs, Like a plank of wood, Pomni easily floated at the top. She closed her eyes and let the water take her. The warmth, not far from a loving bed waiting after a long day, here to ease headaches, here to help forget about everything else… Although she struggled, she let her body release all its tension at that moment, and just be deaf towards the world around her.

Pomni breathed in…

And out..

And in…

And out…

But just as she was about to reach the closest thing she had to relaxation, Pomni felt something off in the environment. Did the candles get warmer? Pomni squeezed her eyes closed in discomfort, before opening them up again to-

“ OH SHI—” in her panic, Pomni submerged into the water.

For the past few minutes, Caine had been floating horizontally above her. Silent, face inches away from hers, staring and watching just as he usually does when the performers were asleep.

Pomni screamed and fell into the bottom, before scrambling to the corner of the tub, where she then covered herself with a curtain.

“ Ah, good! You're alive.”

“ CAINE!!?!? NAKED???!?!?”

Caine blinked, unamused. Sure, he was in a good enough mood to amuse her. “ My dear, what exactly are you covering up?”

“ U-Uh…” Pomni didn't know how to answer. She knew that she and the others didn't exactly have any parts to cover up. Did it make it feel less embarrassing? Fuck no. “ I-its uh…”

he spoke more playfully as if speaking in the voice of a PSA narrator! “ Exactly! Wood! The same wood as your fingers or the one on your cheek! The amazing Digital Freakshow© is a show for all ages where their performers have the luxury of no genitalia!” his voice went back down. “ —So what you're doing is utterly useless. And if it makes you feel better: I don't exactly care.”

This is weird-- this is weird! “ Just- just- just! Turn around?!?”

Caine rolled his eyes. He really took all that time to explain something to her, and it seemed she wasn’t even listening. Sighing, he turned around and just rested his arms on the outside part of the tub “ Please, you’ve suffered through worse, dear.”

“ I-It’s not suffering, It's embarrassing! I like to think I still have my dignity!” Although he was turned around, Pomni still kept at her corner “ Is my time done or? I-I mean… I’m not exactly ready to go out yet...”

“ Oh take all the time you need.” “Then Wh… Why- why are you here? “

“ I suppose you can say I’m a little unoccupied at the moment. On the added, I’m in a sort of good and affectionate mood.”

That sent a shiver down her spine. Good lord… oh no he was bored. She does not need to know what a fucked up AI would consider affection. She just smiled, gritting her teeth, and laughed nervously… “Ah ha ha… that's great, I’m… happy for youuu..” she continued her laughter, getting more and more miserable as she went back down in the tub, and submerged the lower half of her face in the water.

“ You did me well, dear.”

“ Wh-what- what did I do… take a bath?”

“ Precisely!”

Wow. She didn't think she was that dirty. She looked up and flinched, seeing Caine had been turned to her again— she splashed at him instinctually! “ Caine, what did I just say!?”

“ Oh no, I still cannot see you. I deleted my eyes for the time being.” Caine opened his mouth and revealed that he, in fact, did take off his eyes.

This sent a shiver down Pomni’s spine. He was creepier that way somehow.

“ As I said, you’ve pleased me today! I say this calls for a reward! Nothing less for my favorite little performer over here!” He poked her right in the cheek and retracted before she could react. “ Your word, dear!”

“ Uh… well…I can't really say no to salmon… even if it is uh… it's little weird digital version of itsel—”

Before Pomni could finish, Caine snapped his fingers and an eating board appeared on the tub, with, indeed, digital-looking salmon on a tray.

God, she was getting pampered pampered.

Eating awkwardly, Pomni sometimes looked at the side to see Caine, hands over the tub, swaying his head back and forth. Jesus, he might have been kicking his feet for all she knew. She wasn't used to him in this chipper of a mood.

“ May I see now?”

“ Uhhh… Why…?”

“ You came out beautifully, it's pleasing to the eyes. Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?”

Pomni shivered at this little…playful demeanor Caine had on. She doesn't know the catch and she doesn't know if she wants to know.“ Yeah, Caine, you have. Uh…” She thought about it for a second before turning back to him. “ Y-Yeah, I guess… I mean I don't exactly remember what it's like having a human body, but lacking the parts does make it different uh--... less exposed, in a way… ”

Snap!

“ Wonderful! Hello again, dear!”

Pomni frowned in disgust! Oh, his beady little eyes are back! Looking up at her like a fucked up little puppy! She laughed nervously. “ Haha… Hi…” She turned away from him, stiff, back to eating her little meal. Sanity levels were recovering. She was back to being a responsive little character.

Even so, at the corner of her eye, the way he looked at her, looked like he was smiling with his eyes. She sensed-- pride? Affectionate, as he said, but… she can't help but feel like a prey the way he looks at her. If Caine wasn't kicking his feet earlier, they certainly were now.

“ Haha…just to clarify, what did I do …again?”

Caine stared on, his eyes becoming more and more affectionate. “ If you want the true answer, let's just say that I have visited my brother today and he has… nothing but good things to say about you! And so I thought my magnificent hard-working doll deserved a little reward. Is that so wrong?”

“ Oh him…” Pomni grits her teeth at the mention of Able. “ You… uh ... what did he say?”

Oh, what an excuse to drop every compliment he had for her… “ That you were gorgeous… pleasing design, talented... polite, beautiful eyes—”

“ AH- ahh! No more! Oh god no more.” Pomni shivered from the discomfort so much so that she physically put her hands in front of him to hush! “ Haha! No thank you-’

Caine couldn't even be mad at the interruption! In fact, he erupted into laughter the same way he did earlier! Oh, twice in a day?? These were such genuine reactions from each person! Caine had such genuine yet dark pompous laughter! “Oh?”

“ Yeah! he--” Pomni groaned. “He doesn't even scare me! He's just-- a big two-faced jerk!”

Caine took the hand Pomni used to interrupt him and kissed it by the knuckles. He has never felt so assured. This proved his intrusive thoughts earlier that day to be completely false. The idea of them building rapport, or forming a bond of any sort was completely debunked. After all, how could they form that sort of relationship when they could hardly stand each other's name mentioned in conversation?

Pomni forced a smile at that small but direct form of affection. He seemed to really like it when she talked smack about his brother. She should keep that in mind. “Yeah.. so uh..”

He kissed her knuckle once again… perhaps he liked it just a little too much. Truth was, Caine had never felt so secure in thinking that something was truly his. For once, anyhow. It was so small, but it was his.

Pomni later pulled her hand away, laughing nervously. He was gentle and she didn't trust it. “ You uh…weren't lying when you said you were feeling affectionate…”

“ No one will ever believe you.”

“ Ah.”

After a while, Pomni prepared to be out the bath, wrapping a towel around her hair and around her figure.“ Okay, I think that's all. I-I think Im ready to go now if you don't m-woAHH-!” And in quick succession, Caine carried her bridal style, teleported her out of the bathroom, and back to her bedroom.

For the next hour or so, Pomni sat in at her vanity, Caine grooming her hair from behind. At that moment, he adored dressing her up. His own personal doll, his favorite little toy. Gently he brushed her hair, sneaking in little affections here and there: holding her shoulder, holding her face… he knew exactly where all this sudden affection came from and he so shamelessly indulged in it. After all, who was there to judge him? The little freak he was brushing? The wet little dog? Please.

At that moment, he was no different from a child dressing up his favorite toy. He snapped, picking from an assortment of clothes that would make her look beautiful while she slumbered. Snap! Snap! snap! And Pomni just let it all happen. After all what else could she do?

After a while, Caine stood her up and basked in his good work, looking her up and down and clapping in satisfaction. “ Beautiful. Now bow,” Pomni did as instructed, bowing as if she had just finished a performance. “Very good.”

Once again, Caine carried her in his arms and made his way to the bed, where he so gently placed her. He was playing with dolls. He was so playing with dolls. Pomni just complied as she always did and sat politely, keeping a calm expression, trying to be as neutral for him as possible, and letting him live out his little fantasy.

Before laying her to bed, Caine just took a few more minutes to stare at her, and nothing else. Just admire his best performer. This put Pomni in unease, not just because of his freaky design, but also because she can’t help but feel like she’s missing something somehow. She looked down when she felt him touching her hand, in particular, rubbing his thumbs at the back of it.

Hoping she read his signs correctly, she lifted her hand towards his mouthy face, almost permitting him such desires.

Caine quickly accepted her suggestion and started pressing his teeth on her knuckles in a way to kiss her. It started with one, and another, and another, and another. And the next thing he knew, he stopped counting and started moving his head up to her upper arm.

Pomni allowed this no matter how out of nowhere it was. It was weird, but she did not question it. She felt him start to nibble at her though in which she-- in a panic-- started to retract.

Caine looked up at the sudden rejection and the woman scrambled to find her words. “ U-Uh… Y-Your kisses are sweet, dear ringmaster, but a simple doll such as I am undeserving.” In times like these, Caine would be too deep into his fantasies to care about how real she was being. In his head, he was playing. They were both playing. And he loved it when she played off such a prestige woman, exactly how he liked it.

He whispered back sweet words of grandeur. “ Do you question the taste of a king? I think of no one else more deserving.”

Although she didn’t back away fully, she leaned away a few inches, praying it wasn’t noticeable. She bore a toothy, nervous smile. She was okay baring with his affections until he brought his teeth into it. She did not want to be dinner after all that preparation. She cleared her throat. “Ah…Pray tell, what did the king see in this little… doll?”

“ A flower is most beautiful when taken cared of.” He held her cheek and kissed the opposite. “Let it be known, my care for you was not without motives. Your beauty is a testament to my hard work. And your care is a testament to your belonging to me.”

Belonging to him, he said… He was… so incredibly fucked up, she couldn’t say anything about it. When he was on his way to bite her arm, in her panic, she diverted it and kissed his gums, which, to him, was the equivalent of kissing his cheek.

The ringmaster blinked in confusion and Pomni took his moment of processing to cringe at the feeling of his melted gums on her lips. She felt goosebumps with how gross that was but quickly turned her head back to fake a smile.

But Caine broke character for a moment.“ Did you just. Take initiative?”

Shit.

That was so strange. As if he hadn’t known that was an option.

She cleared he throat, trying to distract him again. “Is it so wrong of me to return the ringmaster’s affections?” She batted her eyes, making her feel as small as possible. “ A woman cannot resist such a… ” Pomni looked him up and down “... dentures.”

She panicked with that one.

He stared at her for longer, and the grip on her hand tightened, though, it seemed he did not notice. Although he was unsure if he enjoyed the act or not, he knew what it meant. And the day that he was okay with someone else receiving it is the same day hell freezes over. With a small scowl, He leaned his face inches close to her, as he has always done time and time again.“ Would you reserve such affection for your ringmaster, and just your ringmaster?”

“Of course.” She lied through her teeth.

Caine continued to speak but with a bit more grit in his voice. He leaned so close to her in bed, he had to support one hand on her back, as if dipping her in a dance. “ And will you, my dear, solemnly swear that you’ll live the rest of your existence devoted and serving me?”

The woman kept her calm demeanor. A small smile, but a fake one. She can’t say yes to that. But with her compromising position, she couldn’t say no either. “ Would you promise the same for me?”

Caine was quiet, and so was she. He furrowed his teeth a bit frustrated and let her go. It seems he couldn’t say yes to that either, and Pomni knew.

“... That wasn’t your line.” Caine sat up, and crossed his arms like a pouting little boy.

Pomni faked a surprised face. “ There was a script? Geez, oh man, my bad!” she later faked a yawn. “ Wow, would you look at that I’m also, uh, sleepy! So it seems I can’t finish the uh-.. This”

“ You, “ Caine pointed his cane at her the same way a gunman would point a rifle “ Are being difficult.”

Pomni, in response, just panicked and shrugged. “ Well, I-”

“ But I suppose you’re right, it is quite late. I wouldn’t want you attending the shows tired… again.” Caine got off the bed and floated off. He snapped, and the blanket draped over Pomni, drowning her in the bed sheets. “ Sleep tight, dear! It’s another day tomorrow, etc. etc. I will be visiting you a little earlier tomorrow to fix you a new wardrobe.”

“ Wh-?? Then what’s with the-???” she gestured towards her current clothes that he so meticulously chosen out.

Caine laughed. “ Oh don’t be silly! Those were for my eyes only! And-- the audience’s if they so pleased. But for now, it's mine.” Caine snapped his fingers and Pomni was back to her normal ballet dress, but more plain and comfortable, but equally pleasing to many eyes.

“ …ARE YOU KIDDING M-”

“ Good night!”

SHUT!

Caine left with a small smile on his face. Sometimes he finds joy in being a bit of a nuisance. He pulled out his hand watch once again and found that it alerted him about errors within the system.

She scoffed and summoned an old-timey rotary dial.

Ring…

“ You’ve reached Able.AI’s communication line! If you are an audience member or a performer: requests and complaints will be held off due to family emergencies. If you're my foul, besotted, temperish, fool of a brother: don’t call this line again! Thank you!”

… Despite how ridiculous that was, Caine couldn’t help but chuckle. Ohh that was the cherry on top of that perfect day. Nonetheless, Caine AI, you have technical difficulties to tend to. Was today worth all the extra work? Yes. Yes, it was.

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texasbama · 2 months

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It’s the way I love you to the core isn’t inherently romantic (although for them it totally is). It’s so much deeper than that. This is Eddie having his person. Someone he would do anything for and vice versa. He trusts Buck unconditionally. Not just with himself but with his son. This relationship-this family-is something they have built with blood, sweat and tears. their relationship is love in its purest form. I love you. I love you for who you are. I love you for who I am with you. I love you for how you love my son. I love you to the core.

#I AM FEELING SO MANY THINGS #buckley diaz family #buddie #911

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ddarker-dreams · 3 months

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mini love report — scaramouche

relationship health diagnosis — 50%*

symptom one — deeply insecure

for all his bravado, scaramouche is acutely aware that he's unpleasant to be around. he'd ask if you hit your head recently after hearing your confession. initially, he regarded you with suspicion (and loathing, that's what this churning in his stomach has to be). his beauty has been praised for centuries. traditionally, when his admirers draw closer, they're put off by his brutal honesty. he subjected you to the same treatment. instead of running for the hills like you probably should've, you stuck around. he compared you to a 'cockroach infestation.' very charming.

beneath this veneer of vitriol, he's internally panicking. he's irritable when you're around and wretched when you aren't. his underlings don't know which is worse. he was at a loss when he realized you genuinely weren't bumbling back into his life for his appearance or status. seriously, what is wrong with you? it'd be easier to understand if you had some grand ambition in mind, using him as a means to an end. without this excuse to hide behind, he feels... vulnerable. uncomfortably so.

everything he gets attached to is taken from him. he's forgotten, abandoned, discarded when his worth is found lacking. you could find someone else. someone kind, open, and warm. someone who isn't him. it's terrifying, a thought that makes his skin writhe. especially since, should this premonition come to pass, even he doesn't know what havoc he'd wreak...

symptom two — clingy

once scaramouche likes you, you're his person. not even in a strictly possessive sense (although there's plenty of that), but you're essentially all he's got. he's around more often than he isn't. he insists that without him, your 'stupidity would do you in,' so he considers his hovering a 'necessary evil.' this is for your sake! strictly yours. not his, no, whatever gave you that idea? a bit presumptuous, don't you think?

his habit of acting as your second shadow relates to his aforementioned insecurity. whether he realizes it or not, he's always trying to prove his worth to you. tasks you mentioned dreading will find themselves completed, he'll drag you outdoors if you've been overworking yourself, and he silently sits freshly cooked meals beside you. he once cut vegetables into heart shapes, only to feel so embarrassed, that he diced them into a dusty substance.

symptom three — unconditionally supportive

so long as it doesn't take you away from him, he'll help you accomplish anything you want, good or bad. this is what could come to him most naturally. he loves the thought of you relying on him. it makes him feel wanted, like he's fulfilling a role no one else could in your life. it doesn't have to be material items either. if you're struggling with an issue and come to him for advice, he's noticeably pleased, like a cat that got the cream. you sought him out, you value his input.

he excels at putting together plans and breaking them into doable steps. next-level executive function. you might not want to consult him if you've gotten into a disagreement with a friend, but if you're struggling to know where to get started on a project or goal, he's got you covered. he'll wave off any of your doubt, flicking you on the forehead and grumbling that 'it's doable, just leave it to him.'

primary area of concern

scaramouche views the world from a bitter lens. whereas some try to see the best in others, he sees the worst. this skepticism that's built up over centuries isn't going to disappear overnight. he'll make assumptions about your behavior that aren't necessarily true. he won't come outright and tell you his concerns either, the idea is foreign to him. it ends up falling on you to dispel his misconceptions, which can be an exhausting endeavor.

integrating him into your life proves to be a challenge as well. he can fake a sweet, friendly personality, but he'd only do that for interactions he sees value in. namely, leaving a good impression on your parents/any seniority figure whose approval is meaningful to you. he isn't trying to build a real connection, he just knows it'd be advantageous to win over those who you could you against him. he has no qualms about manipulating them either. he'd do this outside of your purview so you remain none the wiser.

prognosis

it isn't a smooth road. there'll be times where his words cut deep and his involvement in your life feels suffocating. he isn't sure what he's doing and it shows. however, when he extinguishes the light in your eyes, he stills his traitorous tongue. the guilt gnaws at him incessantly. it's a self-fulfilling prophecy on his part — by fearing that he can't make you happy, he's more susceptible to doing just that. should you stick around, this loop isn't destined to repeat forever. his trust in you will build. it's a fragile thing, sown in soil unconducive to growth. be tender in your nourishment and the roots will coil themselves around you.

*the universe has tried (and failed) to wrench you apart (0-20) your friends are praying that you'll break up (21-40) 'well it could/has be worse' bargaining mindset (41-60) a lil messiness as a treat (61-80) pure and wholesome (81-100)

#all that being said. it's still worth it though #mini love reports #scaramouche x reader #genshin impact x reader #scaramouche brainrot #valentines 2024 event

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koimethehorizon · 7 months

Text

Adventure Time and Fionna and Cake Theory: The Victimhood of Simon + How the Series Might End

Prerequisite Watching for this Theory:

Adventure Time: Temple of Mars, Betty, Come Along With Me, Broke His Crown, I Remember You, Holly Jolly Secrets Part II

Gonna start this loaded theory with a bit of a hot take. I’ve never liked how Simon and Betty’s stories concluded in Come Along With Me.

For Simon, I’ve always had trouble considering Simon and the Ice King as the same person. Holly Jolly Secrets and I Remember You, the pinnacle of depicting the dichotomy of the two characters is built on us seeing Simon as suffering irreversible memory loss and how his loved ones can grow to accept that. The context is most apt when viewed as a metaphor for dementia, Alzheimer’s, or simply old age.

The scenes in which Ice King reacts so superfluously to characters desperately wishing for his old self to return are striking because of the cruel finality of his condition. Alternatively, the ones in which his loved ones hang around with him despite his condition are sweet in their own right.

One of my favorite Ice King scenes is in Broke His Crown where Marceline invites her girlfriend to meet her surrogate father.

Bubblegum: What's this?

Ice King: It's a present, to bribe you for coming over!

Marceline: You don't have to bribe us silly, we're here because we WANT to hang out with you.

Ice King: No one has ever said that to me before.

*snatches present*

Ice King: You didn't say no takebacks.

There was a real poignancy to depicting an old man with memory-loss slowly having people come to accept him and realize that he’s still a swell guy to hang around. It may be depressing to see this good person who was once so unconditionally caring into a buffoon who could forget your name so easily and turn on you in the flip of a coin.

But even he deserved love from others. And in time, as a result of that love, he did improve.

Which is why, even in Fionna and Cake, I find myself still disturbed seeing Simon in his normal state and Ice King completely erased from Ooo. It kills me that Betty and in extension, the show itself could not accept Ice King as he was and felt that his best course was to undo it all.

All of his experiences for 1000+ years all of a sudden no longer matter, and the acceptance of his peers no longer mattered as well. He's just back to who he used to be in a world where everything he's known is gone.

Happily ever after

Even worse, however, is remembering the wish that allowed Simon to be cured. The person who sacrificed her individuality to get that good person back, because she couldn’t accept reality as it was.

And I’m going to put a second hot take. A spicy one. Simon needs to take the fault in Betty's fate and Fionna and Cake (the show not the characters) seems aware of this.

Throughout Adventure Time, Simon Petrikov was never developed as a character. As far as the audience and the characters within Adventure Time knew, the only traits about Simon that mattered were: that he was intelligent, he was a kind man, and he loved Betty.

This wouldn’t really be a compelling character on its own, but when juxtaposed with the Ice King it’s a tragedy that he lost these traits. The compelling part of Simon was his victimhood to the ice crown and not really him as a person.

It’s why Obsidian’s version of Simon feels somewhat empty, he’s back to his intelligent, kind self but there’s no real hints to how he’s mentally adjusting other than that brief glimpse in Ice King’s robes again.

And he looks really weird in this special too. Color me surprised when Simon Petrikov reads out the problems I've had for years about his ending while also making Simon into his own person. In many ways it just completely redos what we see of him in Obsidian.

He's still a kind man but even he can't handle being so maladjusted to a world so beyond his time. He's still intelligent but his passions aren't reciprocated, and that seems to have always been the case even in the past. Rather than a guy who doesn't take shit from guys like Marceline's ex or a first responder to his daughter's problems, he's a normal guy unable to handle the threats of Ooo's world even after 12 years of living in it. Rather than singing to large communities in bliss, he's a lonely alcoholic who can't even relate to his fellow humans anymore. He loves his adopted daughter but there are even some days he can't muster the courage to be honest with her. And most importantly, he doesn't seem to know how to live beyond his curse or his loneliness.

His mutual obsession with Betty is the only character trait of his that's ever had some distinct flaw and with this new show, the writers must have finally found a way to tackle the subject further. Betty is ultimately a greater victim than Simon. She ends up in a far worse fate than Simon has ever been in. Perhaps more disturbingly, she willingly chose to strip herself of her individuality.

Fionna and Cake brings a contradiction to light about Simon and Betty’s seemingly perfect relationship. Simon and Betty's love is real and they do make each other happy. But there does exist a co-dependency that has worsened throughout the series as a result of their insecurity of letting a bad memory conclude their relationship. Betty's patterns are pretty clear throughout her tenure as Magic Woman but not too much with Simon. Not until now.

In Jerry, Simon stops Betty from pursuing her dreams because he didn’t want her goodbye to be his last memory with her.

In Betty, Simon rewrites history and inadvertently summons her to Ooo because he didn’t want Betty’s look of contempt to be his last memory of her.

And through all of Fionna and Cake, Simon has turned into a suicidal man willing to resummon GOLBetty regardless of the reasons she can’t see him again. All because he didn’t want her sacrifice to be his last memory of her. Despite the fact that Betty’s final wish was to keep Simon safe.

There's also this uneven power dynamic between the two. Simon was far more accomplished as a professor with PhDs even if no one took him seriously. Betty was just a student offering some help, knowing she wouldn't take any credit for helping.

I’ll preface that Betty is a consenting adult in the relationship and made many self-determined rash choices that Simon would never approve of with full context. We’ve enough scenes to show that Simon actively refuses Betty’s help if it means endangering her.

However, Simon’s perception of Betty and his own inadequacy did influence her personality for the worse. Fionna questions Simon on two occasions about how strange it was for “someone she just met to drop everything to go with you”. Even within the flashbacks Betty verbally describes her internal conflict between her individuality vs. her infatuation with Simon and the guy never picks up on it.

Whether he’s aware of it or not, Simon always ends up becoming the center of attention during Betty’s greatest life-changing events because he’s always suffering in some way. And sadly in-character, Betty always prioritizes him first because of how sorry she feels for him.

Simon: Just hold my hand to your face, this will be my… last sensation.

Betty: Don’t be a wimp, Simon!

I don’t want to be too hard on Simon, his suffering is cosmologically depressing. An undeniable tragedy that no one deserves to be alone on. It would be unfair to say he’s being dramatic about something most if not any human would ever go through. He’s not a leech for desiring help, especially from his significant other.

But I do think it’s important to point out that he does have a major flaw in not reflecting on the consequences of Betty’s choices.

Fionna: Damn, that’s romantic. So, you got on the bus with her?

Simon: Yup. Uh what? No. No. Why would I-

This is the reason this post exists. This is the show explicitly telling us that Simon has never really thought about what Betty lost because he thinks his love was greater than the passion Betty once had.

Let's go back to Betty once again for what is honestly the most justifiable takedown you could make of Simon's character prior to the miniseries.

As stated earlier, Simon opens a portal to ask for Betty's forgiveness with a few seconds on the clock. And in that time, he essentially just unloads a giant drama bomb, trauma dump of his suffering leading Betty to ask what she can even do without him. And if the plan went as it was, Simon would've just left her a hundred questions that she'd never have answered for the rest of her life.

Simon: Just know that I love you and I forgive you for leaving me. Author's Note: I dunno, isn't there something a bit off about how he worded this?

Now Simon didn't ask for Betty to jump into the portal, but he certainly was asking for it subconsciously. How else would he have expected a person who loves him dearly to act after this?

Taking any measures necessary and finding a way back together obviously. That's what he's doing too!

And reiterating again, this is the reason why Betty goes on her ego-suicidal quest. This is Simon's greatest mistake, his greatest moral failing as a person and he doesn't seem aware of this.

He’s not wrong that Betty lived happily with him. In spite of losing her dreams, Betty and Simon did love each other unconditionally. But he’s missing the bigger picture about how he could’ve been self-centered in deciding Betty’s fate for himself.

And maybe to stretch somewhat, I think even the quest to become Ice King again is somewhat motivated by his inability to live as anything more than a victim. Some of it is because the citizens of Ooo were being a bit inconsiderate about how much they liked Ice King yes, but Simon should be perfectly aware that Marceline, Betty, and now Fionna would be extremely concerned about him for doing this. Yet, he doesn’t really consider their feelings too much on the matter. He’s too used to the suffering.

Please have one scene with Marceline, I'd be sad if we don't get to see at least one.

This leads me to how I believe Fionna and Cake may rewrite Simon’s ending.

The key is in the episode Temple of Mars.

Upon rewatching the episode, I’m convinced that the Adventure Time cast had a greater plan with the Betty and Simon arc that just never came to be due to production constraints. A lot of Betty’s history and the deconstruction of her relationship with Simon in Jerry are surprisingly details that have already been told.

I thought it was an animation error that Betty’s glasses were different in Jerry but it turns out the continuity director is just that good.

The trip in six months, Simon stopping her, and the realization that Simon superseded her identity. Seeking independence from Simon is the lesson that Normal Man was trying failed to teach her.

Betty: I’ve spent so much time dedicated on Simon that I’m not even sure if there’s any “me” left anymore.

But the most telling detail is how Betty passes Normal Man’s test.

Finn: Even if you are a lost cause, she is not!

Betty: No, Finn’s right. You’ll thank me for this later past Betty.

In an alternate pocket reality, she changes her trip to the day before, preventing Simon from stopping her. And I think Simon will have to change fate once again to do the same.

If Simon comes to realize that he was the one who set Betty to her terrible fate, that all this time his rose-colored lens of their relationship had been detrimental then he could give her identity back. But it can’t be as simple as changing the moment Betty turns into GOLB or Magic Woman or even bringing her through the portal in Betty.

He needs to let Betty go on the bus. Alone.

It’s the only way for Betty to have her life back. If not for his Betty, maybe at least to save one in the multiverse doomed to the same fate.

They both need to cherish their time on the Enchiridion trip back when it wasn’t too late for Betty to go on the trip. Back when they were both equals and not tied to Simon’s needs.

Jerry is absolutely setting up something big with Simon and Betty’s relationship for next week and now that we’re going to the GOLB dimension, we’ll see how he remembers these moments again.

Personally, as someone who has been skeptical about Simon's peace for years, Fionna and Cake's second episode was like a sigh of relief. Simon hasn't found his ending yet, and my hope is that this epilogue will help me see the man happy without having to relive Betty's sacrifice for the rest of his life. Just like the rest of Adventure Time, it'll have to end with him cherishing the time he had with Betty regardless of the inevitability of losing that relationship.

PS. Isn’t quite strange that at one point in time, Simon sought after magic objects that ostracized him from the normal world and now, he lives in a house full of 1980s-1990s objects that ostracized him from the magical world? Maybe he was never really satisfied with where he was in the present.

PSS. I really wanted to write something on Fionna for the Ep 3-6 releases, and I still have the idea, but I couldn’t make it coherent due to how much my brain overthinks everything to the point of cognitive collapse. If there’s enough interest, I’ll go back to write it again.

#fionna and cake #adventure time #simon petrikov #betty grof #fionna and cake spoilers #adventure time spoilers #animation #art #hbo max #fionna campbell #theories #character analysis #discussion #petrigrof #golbetty #simon and betty

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levmada · 4 months

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PLEASE write about Levi’s mental state, i’m begging you

He’s faced death and precarious situations since he was born, yet he’s still standing strong and hopeful, WHAT THE HELL I LOVE MY SHORT KING

IT'S FINALLY HERE😭im sorry anon i hope you're around to see this and if u are i hope i dont disappoint

the tone in this analysis is so weird because i kept getting caught between 'this is an apa paper no contractions, academic language, double spacing -' and 'this is a tumblr post about a fictional blorbo wtf r u on'

i also use some scientific language i try my best to explain but if this turns anyone off i don't blame them because im unhealthily obsessed

*i'm a third-year undergraduate psychology student w/ a concentration in psychopathology

tw/cw: discussion of childhood exposure to sex (not assault)

Foreword

I’ve been putting this off for a while (I’m forgetful and this topic is intimidating what can I say), but being a year out from graduating with my bachelor’s to become a mental health professional, and being a Levi scholar(/hj), I wanted to give this a shot.

I wanted to dissect and examine Levi Ackerman’s mental health “currently” (as in general canon), and explain as thoroughly but as simply as possible how and why he thinks and acts the way he does.

Seeing how AOT is pretty renowned for leaving out the ‘insignificant’ details, especially character details, a good majority of my assertions and even details of his life are built off of correlations and “signs and symptoms”; meaning some things could be an aspect of Levi’s personality, or a symptom of psychopathology.

I will examine his childhood (especially his childhood), adolescence, young adulthood, and “present” adulthood, with a short summary at the end of where he might be mentally after the war.

*Lastly, I don’t like it when things I say about a series or character are taken as fact or make it implied that someone else’s thoughts are “wrong”. This is partly built on headcanons anyway, which are influenced by my own experiences. Don’t take away from this that this is me telling you what to think.*

Childhood

The most important period of development occurs in infancy and childhood, especially from the ages of 3-6. This is when a child learns where to find security, love, and basic skills, gaining stability as they develop.

Well, Kuchel died when Levi was 4.

Maternal Love / Learning Empathy / Anxious Attachment Style

Levi was born into deep poverty within a violent unwelcoming environment. Basic physical needs must have been very hard to meet (i.e., consistently fed enough, a clean environment, no physical threats). And where Levi was born is like the dictionary definition of a bad environment for a small child, excluding only his mother’s care and love.

As it’s generally understood in canon (and suggested from Levi’s special backstory manga so far) she was a caring parental figure early in Levi’s life that loved him unconditionally. We can conclude that Kuchel did everything within her power to compensate for both parenting Levi alone and shielding him the best she could from his horrible surroundings, teaching the kindness, goodness, and love that Levi would internalize and go on to strive for for his entire life.

As far as we know, no other children lived in the brothel. Socialization is just as important for a young child as receiving love. With this isolation, it’s extremely difficult to learn how to connect to other people, or pick up on social cues. Levi would’ve never learned how to interact properly with his peers—aside from use of aggression and violence which Kenny would go on to instill in him.

With the danger/anxiety imposed by strangers, mostly if not entirely men, he would turn to his mother for comfort all. The. Time.

And she would give him that support and affection of course. This early motherly affection is integral to child development: a child who receives empathy and affection is subliminally taught how to feel and express empathy towards others.

While Levi’s surroundings were dangerous, lonely, and chaotic—traumatizing enough for a toddler or young child—Kuchel provided a safety net from that, so I think that Levi developed an anxious attachment as a child: exhibiting clinginess, excessive fear of abandonment, and an excessive need for security and/or reassurance.

Paternal Trauma / Potential Androphobia

Born and living in a brothel, we can assume that Levi was probably seen as a burden and a mistake by others, especially by men (both the likely majority of her customers and her boss).

AOT ch69; Before the Fall, ch34

This is likely in contrast to the women (those living and working in the brothel like Kuchel). They should know Kuchel if not as friends, then acquaintances who could empathize for her and her son.

There’s an obvious trend here. If Levi is going to feel fear/danger/anxiety because of men, he should have a general aversion to men and-or the behavior of men who he encountered as a child. This is impossible to know for sure or in meaningful detail, but it seemed to be resolved by the time he became an adult if so.

Although Kenny in his words was no more than Levi's teacher, Levi did see him as a father figure.

The subject of Kenny will be expanded on later, but it's clear Kenny in no way resembled a father, who also would go on to abandon Levi (at the age of 11 or so). Children without father figures tend to struggle more emotionally, psychologically, and socially. Specifically, (especially boys) tend to exhibit intimidating/aggressive personas to compensate for resentment, fear, and unhappiness.

Sexual Trauma (Tangent, Probably)

This is unconfirmed but a likely trauma Levi went through: exposure to sex as a child. There’s no way to confirm what he experienced, so I’ll function on ‘probably’s’ and ‘most likely’s’.

Because Levi and Kuchel only lived in one room, other rooms in the brothel should have belonged to other women, and he was at the oldest four, I wager that he was babysat by women who Kuchel knew and/or was made to hide somewhere while she worked, such as in a cabinet.

(for reference)

AOT ch69

The odds are high that he was exposed to the aftermath of sexual violence (i.e., marks seen on his mother), and the sound or smells that have to do with it. That young, he wouldn’t know what it was, but he should have realized later as an adolescent.

In general, children regardless of gender exposed to sexual content usually experience early puberty (which is just as likely for impoverished children, or children who experience chronic high-stress in general); issues with intimacy; become desensitized to high-risk behavior; negative/inaccurate expectations about sex and relationships in the future; influence inappropriate behavior with other children or adults; sex addiction.

This is especially relevant to Levi’s fear of closeness/intimacy in the future. Exposure to sexual situations—possibly not including CSA in his case—very early in life inflicts on a child emotions and stress they don’t have the intellect or reasoning to process or understand. An extreme aversion to interpersonal relationships, especially physical ones, results.

This stress Levi must have felt, being powerless to this happening to his mother, is a different beast. Children aren’t capable of handling high levels of stress, and so the brain will automatically create coping mechanisms: dissociation (a severe form of “zoning out”; observing the self “from the third person”; numbness; the feeling of living in a dream), excessive daydreaming/overactive imagination, symptoms of PTSD (nightmares and terrors; flashbacks; spontaneous activation of fight-flight-freeze associated with anxiety; excessive worrying/fear; loneliness/self isolation). PTSD will also be prevalent in Levi’s later life, which I’ll delve into later.

Inappropriate behavior and sex addiction are also highlights for me because they shouldn’t exist in him based on Levi's personality and behavior throughout the series. In my opinion, Levi ought to associate sex with pain, shame, and violence; he does see it as an ordinary job—a means to an end. He should be desensitized to sex as a concept, but associates it personally with shame, sadness, and pain, possibly feeling disgust towards it. So it is highly likely that Levi in every stage of life following this experienced sexual repulsion (usually associated with high anxiety towards sex), a low libido, or a lack of sexual desire entirely.

From a trauma perspective, he could avoid sexual topics of conversation, sexual settings (i.e., brothels), or an array of things which are sexually suggestive or he as a child possibly associated with sex (i.e., cleavage, panties, specific touch). Similarly, he might avoid direct reminders or have a post-traumatic reaction to them, such as anxiety or flashbacks (i.e., the sound of a bed creaking, the sight of wet clothes).

Importantly, it can be concluded that sexual violence was often exhibited, and the idea would be ingrained in him that sex, like everything else besides his relationship with his mother, is ��give-and-take”, “victim-and-attacker”, and learn to be repulsed by intimacy. This impacts his willingness for later friendships and relationships as we’ll see later.

Early Abandonment & Early Exposure to Death

As Kuchel’s health deteriorated, Levi’s sense of security would break down. Availability of shelter, food, and emotional support would be even less secure than before. He might have been providing for Kuchel for some time, even, as it can be gathered that he received little to no help from those around him while she was sick. To whatever length he had to take responsibility and both fear for Kuchel, this would cement a sense of responsibility and guilt in him from the age of just four years old.

He will fail to save her—regardless of the fact that that’s not his responsibility in the first place; a child wouldn’t understand that—and then lose her with nothing he could do to even cushion the blow.

How powerless he must’ve felt. How hopeless. How likely is it that Levi found comfort in joining her? A child his age wouldn’t be able to comprehend death, basing our understanding on Piaget’s theory of cognitive development. To summarize, at the age of six or seven, children aren’t capable of complex, abstract thought like death or the finality of it. But Levi had to learn early.

AOT ch69

This will be center in his “clean-freak” tendencies later.

Adolescence

Most of this section is going to be rather vague again, but we already got the bulk of that over with in childhood!

Emotional Train Wreck / Lack of Identity

It’s hard to notice if you’re not paying attention, but in every scene we’re shown with Levi after his mother dies but before Kenny leaves, he’s wearing some variation of his mother’s one dress styled into a shirt. He loves her endlessly, even or especially in death. And part of cherishing her memory, to him, should’ve been taking after her as much as he could.

That’s how to explain why he didn’t become a cruel person (Kenny for instance) as he grew into a teenager, even though much of Levi’s outlook and behaviors come from him (ch57).

The more pertinent question is how extreme violence, reinforcement of the idea that that violence is power, and Kenny’s total (or most likely total) lack of communicated emotional connection affected him.

Levi would still desperately want that connection deep down, especially with his mother gone. This is a major reason why Levi sought to get stronger to please Kenny. For chronically abandoned people, that continues into adulthood and even beyond. A hole inside which can't be filled.

AOT ch69

Chronic loneliness—like I explained before—basically explains his aloof nature and awkward disposition. It’s not that Levi feels as detached as he looks, but he doesn’t know how to express himself or open up. He wouldn’t learn how to process his emotions, let alone talk about them. He’s basically emotionally stunted and immature in impersonal relationships (between friends and especially in regards to intimacy).

The Underground’s environment also makes him socially awkward, rude, of course stoic/not very expressive, and blunt. Levi was forced to become extremely observant of people to suss out their intentions, remaining vigilant of his surroundings at all times.

Levi doesn’t even get affection in any sense anymore. He doesn’t get a hug or a pat on the back, and he certainly doesn’t get a shoulder to cry on.

If anything, Kenny would punish him for showing weakness. Vulnerability is weakness; weakness is death.

What results is a continuous and boundless sense of emptiness inside that can’t be filled. He’s plagued by a chronic sense of unbelonging and loneliness. There’s no time or opportunity to develop “normally” as an adolescent. Socialization is limited at best; thinking of his place in the world is irrelevant when his one and only most pressing goal is survival; he doesn’t get to explore hobbies or interests.

OCD Propensity

One “interest” Levi is passionate about is cleaning, at least. Disease is what caused his mother to die. The easiest cause to point to would be their disgusting surroundings (although, Kuchel was infected by a customer). It is canon that Levi’s love of cleaning comes from "his personal experiences". In that interview, Levi first specifically references the important of fighting disease.

In other words, his "clean freak" nature comes, primarily, from the death of his mother: Filth -> disease -> death, and abandonment by extension.

His mother would’ve encouraged him to keep their room clean. There were times he or she had to have come down with something and dirtiness was the cause. On top of Kenny’s enforcement to keep up “clean” appearances to garner respect from everyone else in the Underground.

This in particular is extremely relevant to his mental health. When someone feels out of control of what is happening to them, especially in a recurring way, and especially as a child who doesn't yet know how to feel stable in an unstable environment, they look for something to control. It can be weight, bodily functions (blinking, breathing, etc), dominance over others, or cleaning, for instance.

Fear of disease, the urgent need to have control, and the basic need for stability makes it obvious that Levi would become obsessed with cleaning. And moreover, developing OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). I’ll go deeper into this diagnosis later.

Lack of Self Worth

Despite the acknowledgment throughout canon that he trusts in his own strength, it wasn’t always that way.

Canonically, Levi sought praise from Kenny by showing his strength because that was the only thing he received praise for. The conclusion Levi came to once Kenny left him was that he wasn’t strong enough (wasn’t good enough) to warrant staying with him.

In conjunction, Levi’s first conclusion was that he did something wrong, not that Kenny possibly had some obligation that forced him to leave the Underground, pointing again to his own lack of self-worth.

This scenario created a complex in him, the very root cause of Levi’s pain, the very foundation of what Levi would go on to prioritize in adulthood. If he isn’t useful to those he wants not to abandon him, he’s worthless. He’s only useful when he shows his strength. Every other aspect of him like his interests is either irrelevant or bland by default in his eyes.

He would go on to make it his mission to try his best to be good enough in order to save and protect the lives of others, but foremost those he cares about.

Young Adulthood

Our first exposure to Levi as an adult is in A Choice with No Regrets, his OVA/backstory.

(By the way, I’ll be basing this analysis off a mix of the manga and the OVA.)

Emotional Immaturity/Affective Dysregulation

Generally, Levi’s defining negative character trait as a young adult is his emotional immaturity/anti-social behavior. Yes he’s grumpy and rude which is always indicative of him, but he’s very quick to anger, too. He cursed at the Squad Leader who offended him (by assuming that because he, Isabel, and Farlan are from the Underground, they’d be dirty), and argued furiously with Farlan that he would kill Erwin—not because it was required for the job, but because he disrespected him—for a few examples.

ACWNR ch2

He tended to be arrogant, too. Such as when he ultimately called a Scout who had experience with the Titans stupid for telling Levi to hold his swords in a certain way. He spoke to every officer the same as he would anyone on the street, having a remarkable lack of basic respect for authority. He was insistent on distancing himself from the entire setting and structure of the Scouts as much as possible, both to not get attached, and he found their mission childish/foolish.

He’s rather selfish. There is nothing Levi cares about genuinely more than Isabel’s and Farlan’s lives and the job that will set them up with a good future. Farlan’s advice is the only one’s he takes and the only judgment outside himself that he considers, such as when Farlan asks him to not cause trouble with authority to keep a low profile, but even then he acts stubborn. Levi trusts nobody wholeheartedly except himself (until later in ACWNR).

There’s a cognitive dissonance in him. Growing up, and still as a young adult, Levi’s headspace is marked by fear and uncertainty, with his power as his source of confidence. The first time he kills a Titan (with Isabel and Farlan), he uses too much gas because he refuses to potentially risk his friends’ lives; when the expedition is upcoming, he abruptly tells Farlan and Isabel to find a reason to stay back, and that he’ll complete the dangerous part of the job on his own.

Levi is full of repressed fear and uncertainty. He hides and/or buries all of it for the sake of self-preservation both emotionally and physically.

Antisocial Personality…?

It’s extremely interesting how a character as selfless, heroic, and empathetic as Levi exhibits antisocial symptoms. I’d even argue that if his childhood was spent entirely without his mother figure, then he might be a dictionary definition of ASPD (Antisocial Personality Disorder).

People with this disorder live day-to-day under the constant assumption that whoever is around them is “out to get them”/searching for a weakness to exploit. Humanity is made up of only prey and predators; morals are completely subjective, perpetuated by the society that surrounds them. This constant need to defend oneself, the effect of the exact trauma the potential sociopath experienced, combined with a muted emotional spectrum, results in a complete disregard of everything, including people outside of themself. They might believe they’re entitled to comfort or admiration, but overall, they’re intensely self-serving, often aggressive, and ruthless.

Because Levi for instance learned to rely on violence both for “love” and survival, then he might fall on violence to manipulate a person or situation into serving himself. I see reason to believe that Levi could have grown into worse than Kenny’s image if it weren’t for his mother’s influence.

However, the greatest cause for deniability is Levi’s wide emotional spectrum (especially including empathy and shame), while a lack of shame is the most significant marker of ASPD . (It is arguably one of many testaments to his strength that a victim of so much suffering, violence, and cruelty could become a man as empathetic as him.)

However, these tendencies may still be relevant: A sense of arrogance—both to the way Levi thinks of some who he perceives as weak and live without good morals—lacking issue with using deceit or violence to attain a goal, and living outside the rule of authority.

I go into more detail about this idea here.

Conclusion

As is true in general, there’s very little to say of mental development once someone has reached their early–mid-twenties. What we know of Levi’s young adulthood does reinforce his fear of abandonment, but he finds a cause where his strength and compassion can be “put to good use” and give to him a life that is worth living.

Conclusion: the ‘Present’/Diagnoses Overview

C-PTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)

Levi’s emotional dysregulation (i.e., inability to sit with and process negative emotions), his difficulties in relationships, insomnia, negative worldview, absent sense of self, and finally, his persistent sense of unworthiness/worthlessness are all indicative of C-PTSD. It’s distinct from PTSD in that he didn’t endure one short-term traumatizing event, but he grew up surrounded by trauma and saw it as normal (e.g., gang violence, extreme poverty, death of a parent, (more presumably) physically and emotionally abusive parental figure). Levi as a child developed no understanding of a nurturing, secure environment.

Negative/Absent Sense of Self

I’ve talked about this at length already, but it’s worth noting how Levi’s perception of himself must have changed when it was revealed that he is extremely strong physically not from his own efforts as much, but because he’s an Ackerman.

His self-confidence and self-worth have always been built on the foundation of his strength. He’s useful if he’s strong, so he’s worthy if he’s strong. Along with the extreme high pressure his goal to kill Zeke put on him in season four, he might have gone to extreme measures to compensate for his strength he might have felt was “unearned” (such as excessive exercise for example). This is an aside, but it was a blow to him for sure.

Emotional Dysregulation

The causes of emotional dysregulation generally which he experienced are as follows: early childhood trauma, feelings ignored, judged, or invalidated at a young age, and physical and emotional child neglect. Beyond his first four years of life with his mother, Levi experienced all these things (early exposure to sex and likely exposure to domestic violence aside).

It’s important to focus on emotional neglect specifically, when any and all perceived “weakness”, no matter how small, is unacceptable to Levi. He will never ask for help (being independent to a fault), he can’t define or process his emotions, and it doesn’t occur to him—and it could be a shock—when he learns that his friends care about him, not him insofar as how useful he is.

As an adult, Levi appears to be emotionally mature, but I argue that this isn’t the case. It’s more accurate to say that he has better control over his emotions (in that he buries them or ignores them) with a mature outlook because of all his experiences with suffering.

Similarly, he’s not outwardly emotional not because he’s antisocial (as related to ASPD, not introversion), but because he’s so “emotionally constipated” that he’s numbed the vast majority of the time.

Relationship Issues + Fear of Abandonment

Because of his fear of abandonment and impaired emotional intelligence in close relational conflict, he’s extremely passive and/or passive aggressive. In order to avoid potential abandonment, he doesn’t go out of his way to win major arguments—such as threatening to break Erwin’s legs if he didn’t stay away from the expedition in season three, but ultimately giving in. He’s also more likely to sneak petty insults into arguments, give “silent treatment”, slam doors, etc. His kindness and exceptional empathy shouldn’t let him be physically or overly violent.

These are likely additions to why Levi doesn’t foster many close relationships.

Fittingly, as a child I thought that Levi might have had an anxious attachment style (clingy, excessive need for security), but as this possibility for security was removed entirely, and he was taught to not rely on others, he would develop more of an overt avoidant attachment in adulthood in combination (fearful-avoidant): making very few emotional demands—even though he has needs—withdrawing when there’s conflict, acting aloof yet fearing abandonment, having difficulty expressing emotions he feels intensely, and fear of depending on someone else.

Anxiety

His cool-headedness even in the heat of battle/war (other factors like experience aside) is exactly what you would expect from someone diagnosed with C-PTSD; he’s accustomed to chronic high-stress. But small stressors (i.e., a change of plans) are overwhelming and make him quick to anger/excessive annoyance.

OCD

Emotional dysregulation is also closely associated with OCD.

OCD is much much more than being concerned with keeping clean or organized. OCD is an anxiety disorder composed of anxiety-related obsessions and compulsions, such as frequent and disturbing thoughts or images (intrusive thoughts). These attempt to be managed through rituals (i.e., handwashing, counting in patterns). Although symptoms will fluctuate with anxiety, OCD at its baseline is a distressing disorder.

Since he was young, Levi should have had an incessant need to be in control at all times. A shining example of this is his mother’s death, an incident he couldn’t control but included dirtiness/disease as a cause he could pinpoint, so this anxiety with dirtiness becomes a major obsession, and the compulsion is cleaning. (Putting aside the fact that Levi enjoys cleaning by itself too.)

It’s a widely-held belief that if Levi has OCD, it’s contamination OCD, as it specifically has to do with an obsession with dirtiness and a compulsion in cleaning (i.e., damaging handwashing, ritualized bathing that may take hours). However, based on the multitude of times Levi was covered in blood and remained unbothered by it (Titan and human), and in fact the obsession’s lack of relevance entirely during urgent missions/situations, contamination OCD is simply not plausible. Instead, it’s general OCD.

There’s no way to know for sure, but I don’t see his OCD as mild or severe. Levi is an extremely orderly and balanced person, so it can be concluded he must have things done a certain way, routinely, organizational, or planned; when the dirtiness is “negative” (i.e., Titan blood, blood on a knife he used to kill Isabel’s attackers), he is never more rigid with cleanliness; it’s probable he suffers intrusive thoughts (likely of the violent nature), a fear of contamination, and/or counting ritualistically, but the most obvious compulsion is cleaning. He might have sensory issues, such as disgust if he happens to brush shoulders with a stranger; aversion to particularly bright lights, irrational rage towards “mouth sounds” (i.e., chewing, coughing, swallowing), etc.

EDNOS (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified)

Levi should have a complicated relationship with food to say the least.

In the realm of eating disorders, EDNOS is sort of a catch-all term when an individual doesn’t qualify for the diagnostic criteria of anorexia or bulimia, and it encompasses lesser-known eating disorders like Pica. It’s the most common diagnosis for clinical eating disorders.

I already covered how integral the early years of life are, and beginning at a young age, if children aren’t given a basic need like food, and they must seek out food on their own, it becomes an anxiety deeply rooted in the brain regardless of how well-fed they are when they’re older. There will always be an urge to have food available. Levi’s years in the Underground were spent either actively starving, or going about every single day having acquiring food as top priority. He was a young adult when he left, so it’s impossible to unlearn this (without extensive therapy, which Levi doesn’t seek). It’s similar to compulsions found in OCD: even though he logically knows that there will be a dinner after lunch, it’s impossible to put aside this worry.

That may mean always having food stashed, eating too much—especially in his early years Aboveground when he’d eat as much food in a day than he’d eat in a week Underground— stealing food, or eating way too quickly (as someone who lived in a place where food was considered something of a luxury resource and threatened being stolen at any time).

The latter factor contributes to Levi’s suggested preference to only eat alone—joining the fact that Levi only eats with Erwin after expeditions. Eating in front of others should be considered a weakness to him.

As time passes with this easy access to food, combined with his extremely narrow sense of what makes him “good enough”, his relationship with eating may become toxic. Especially when the stakes of his worthiness are so high—literally life and death. He may think that he’s privileged to eat at all, and when he feels worthless, he restricts himself from that “privilege”.

He may be so accustomed to the feeling of hunger, that it doesn’t immediately register with his mind when he is hungry.

Lastly, he may have a generally low appetite. This is often associated with depression, but depression is comorbid with C-PTSD.

Misc.

Some tangents/miscellaneous speculation about Levi’s psychology:

Queer?

Sexuality is formed and shifts due to a wide variety of factors, which most if not all are terribly understudied: genetics, hormones, and your environment/experiences. So again, my speculation.

With his fear of close relationships and negative experiences with sex, I think he should land somewhere on the queer spectrum, specifically under the asexual or aromantic umbrella (i.e., pansexuality/being panromantic (attraction to personality) and demisexuality/being demiromantic (attraction only to those he has an emotional connection to)).

MDD

The odds of Levi having MDD (major depressive disorder/clinical depression) are iffy. Most if not all of the symptoms are comorbid with childhood trauma and C-PTSD: Such as persistent apathy, guilt, and/or discontent; sleeping too much or too little; lack of energy; reduced or heightened appetite; irritability.

Oftentimes, depression, C-/PTSD, and related mental illnesses cause unexplained physical pain, such as back pain and occasional tension headaches. “Stress hormones” like adrenaline are built-up in the body, and usually persist without physical therapy and-or medication (Disclaimer this mention is based on nothing more than Levi always standing with at least one hand on his hip).

Body Language

Similar can be said of his body language from a cognitive perspective. The vast majority of the time, Levi has himself closed-off in some way, usually by crossing his arms to protect his chest; a subconscious barrier between oneself and another person.

Also see this official art of Levi asleep.

Afterword

We’ve known it’s not just Levi’s physical strength and skill that makes him the strongest, right? It should take immense mental strength to make it day-by-day dealing with the trauma and issues that he does, but not only has he survived and continues to, but he lives heroically, selflessly, with the wellbeing of everyone around him as a top priority. He buries all of his pain by moving forward always and without exception regardless of how painful the present is. Living with “no regrets” should in mental respects be a guise for pushing his trauma down, too; there’s just no words that can properly do Levi’s resilience justice.

Part of me wants to go into detail about his later adulthood, but given how very little we know (right now), I think it’d be too speculative.

However, based on what we have seen at the ending of AOT, it’s comforting to know and plain to see that Levi wasn’t defeated when he “lost” the reason to be so strong, and even his strength itself; he didn’t lose his love for his friends nor of life.

In middle age, based on Erikson’s psychosocial stages, the conflict that should enter Levi’s life is the idea of generativity versus stagnation. He seems satisfied with his life despite the negative effects of all he went through—grief, physical disability, inevitable mental scarring—and he’s still concerned with helping others, especially the younger generation in a world after the overwhelming devastation that was the Rumbling.

My speculated psychopathologies/diagnoses of Levi:

C-PTSD (insomnia prevalent)

OCD (contamination obsessions)

EDNOS

#levi aot #snk levi #levi ackerman #levi attack on titan #captain levi #captain levi ackerman #aot levi #aot levi ackerman #attack on titan levi #aot meta #levi heichou #rivaille heichou #levi rivaille #rivaille ackerman #lance corporal rivaille #levi snk #levi.thoughts #aot #attack on titan

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spicycinnabun · 2 months

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pt. 1 2 3 5 6 7 💐

When Steve first started working at the flower shop, he had only been helping customers and taking their orders over the phone. Their small family business had grown quicker than anticipated, and Steve’s parents had needed the extra set of hands.

The shop had been a gift to his mother. It had been something she’d always wanted, but his dad had never agreed to, until finally, he had fucked up badly enough in their relationship and had funded it out of guilt.

It shouldn’t have been a surprise that it turned out to be as successful as it was. Steve’s mom, Linda, was passionate and talented. She loved flowers and celebrations of any kind and maintained a big, beautiful garden at home.

It also helped that his father and mother were socialites. They had a lot of friends to support the business, spread the word, and make it b(l)oom. They had a great location in the mall with little competition around.

For good or bad, weddings, anniversaries, sickness and death, flowers were always there.

Steve had mostly helped after school, but it became his full-time gig once he’d graduated and hadn’t gotten into college. Due to the sheer volume of orders, his mother could no longer make the arrangements alone, so she’d taught Steve everything she knew.

From watching her over the years, Steve knew how to care for the flowers. He could prep them and nurture them. The creativity that came naturally to his mother took Steve a bit of time, but he eventually realized what looked good. Usually, it was the simpler arrangements. He was good at that.

Linda was very kind in general, always giving him positive feedback and encouragement instead of criticism. Steve was lucky to have her, especially since his father was so hard on him. She loved and cared for him unconditionally. While his father constantly tried to make him feel inferior, her belief in him built him up to be the strong, confident man he now was.

When his mom had to step back even more from the business to travel abroad with his dad, Steve suggested they hire Robin. Scoops hadn't been fun for her, probably ever, and Steve had missed her since graduating.

At first, Steve didn’t think he’d like working at the shop, but like a flower, it had grown on him. He liked helping people, talking to them, and most surprisingly, he liked the flowers and what he could do with them. While he liked roses—after he removed their thorns, of course—his true favorite was sunflowers.

Working there suited him. It was simple. It let him use his hands and mind in ways he hadn’t tapped into while in school or doing sports. He enjoyed the additive and subtractive aspects of flower arranging. His favorite part was the pruning. It was almost cathartic. He loved pulling and clipping off all the unnecessary parts and making them look perfect.

It took Steve a minute to recognize the man walking around the shop.

Last month, when he was working on the big window display, Steve had seen him for the first time. Guitar case, long rocker hair, enough rings and piercings to set off a metal detector fifty miles away… but Steve remembered it most because the guy had tried to say something to him through the glass. He had left before Steve had gotten the chance to go out and ask him what he’d said.

The second time, Robin had waited on the mystery man. Steve had just caught him walking out with a dozen Black-eyed Susans while he stood there, disgruntled, in his soil-stained apron.

This time—the third time—it was late, and Robin had already clocked out for the night. Steve was sick. He was in the middle of a cold and just wanted to go home and crawl into bed. But even though he wasn’t feeling good, he knew he still had to do his job. There were flowers to be sold.

So, mustering up a charming smile, Steve approached him. "Can I help you find anything today?"

🌷🪻🌻🌹

this part written by my stevie, @batty4steddie (psst, go check out her gorgeous st gifs too) 💕

#fic #wybmb #batty4steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #steve x eddie #stranger things #steddie fic #steddie au #florist au #florist!steve harrington

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farfromstrange · 2 months

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Now That We Don't Talk | Frank Castle x F!Reader

BONUS FIC

See this post for more information on my Valentine's Day Special & Follower Celebration, but these fics can be read separately!

Read Is It Over Now? for better clarity.

Pairing: Frank Castle x F!Reader (past Matt Murdock x F!Reader)

Summary: You go home with the guy from the bar, and he makes you forget about your ex.

Warnings: SMUT (18+ MINORS DNI), oral f!receiving, use of "attagirl", slight Dom!Frank, song references, unprotected p in v, dirty talk

Word Count: 2.9k

A/n: You wanted a part 2, so you're getting a part 2! Anyway, I don't write Frank often, so I hope it isn't too bad. It's also not as spicy as you probably expected, but I wanted this to fit the vibe of the previous fic (link above). You don't need to have read it to understand this, but it is highly recommended because some references might confuse you. Thank you all for taking part in this event!

You believed that your life had ended when you lost him. He painted your world in the brightest colors, but by breaking your heart, he took them away. All that was left to see was a boring shade of gray in a sea of sadness.

Matt told you from the start that being with him wouldn’t be easy. You were willing to try. He needed someone, and you wanted to be that someone to him. You accepted him unconditionally.

In the end, giving everything wasn’t enough. He chose her over you, and the castle you two had built came crashing down on you while he stood idly by.

You’re not a bitter person, you have never been, but he made you fall for him; he made you believe that there was hope for the future and that you would grow old together. He stole years of your life in which you were trying to save him from himself. In return, he took the best care of you, but that doesn’t matter much now that he has taken your heart and shattered it like a glass of red wine on a white cloth.

When you left him, you thought the distance would kill you. You truly believed that this was the end of everything, not just your relationship with the man you thought was the one but yourself as well. “This isn’t what it looks like!” he said the day you found out the ugly truth.

“I trusted you,” you remember saying. You couldn’t even cry. The pain burned brighter than the sun, and it dried your eyes before they could even shed a tear.

He argued with you that, “It was just a kiss,” but you not once believed him.

“Are you sure about that? ‘Cause if I ask Elektra, I’m sure she will tell me the truth.”

“No.”

It was at that moment you lost all of your trust in him—in what could have been or should have been the two of you, forever—and it was also the moment that Matt realized he had lost you.

You believed that he took everything you ever were that day because your life revolved around him, and only him.

You remember him opening his mouth, having the audacity to apologize. “I’m sorry,” he said, begging you not to leave.

“Fuck you!” you had never sworn at him until that day.

You still remember the way the necklace with his initial felt when you tore it off your neck and tossed it at his feet. He knew you better than anyone, and you felt like you finally belonged somewhere. That necklace was a symbol of your undying love, or so you thought, anyway. Now you know that he may have known you to some extent, but you didn’t matter enough for him not to climb into bed with his ex-girlfriend.

You couldn’t even look at the necklace. He told you, “This is a piece of my heart,” when he gave it to you on a snowy Christmas Day three years ago. You cherished it the same way you cherished his soul. He was broken, but he was your broken man. He was everything to you.

Matt Murdock was your moon, your son, and your entire universe. It all seemed far away that you could ever feel about anyone this way again.

You saw a future with him. Married, a house in the suburbs, and working with Foggy and Karen in their new law office after everything they’ve been through. You were a hopeful person back then.

Karen told you that he went to a party a couple of weeks after you separated. He didn’t look like himself. You wonder if he felt anxious, knowing his only source of comfort was no longer there. You wouldn’t know until you asked him, but you refused to answer his calls.

Part of you felt euphoric, knowing that he was broken too, but you also felt angry because he was the reason you found your heart beyond repair as he stepped on it like a burning cigarette, and in your mind, he had no right to feel this way.

You’re a fucking traitor, Matthew Murdock! I wish we’d never met.

“Another one for the lady,” a voice says beside you.

Your empty glass of tequila disappears and a full one slides in its place. In your drunken haze, you see a head of brown hair, and his smirk makes you wonder if there’s more to him than he lets on.

“Thank you,” you murmur, tipping your glass to the stranger.

“Nah, don’t thank me.” He gets up from his seat and sits down on the empty bar stool next to you. “You look miserable,” he says.

“What if I am?”

“I’d tell you I know the feeling.”

You huff but offer the stranger your hand. You introduce yourself.

He smiles. Your name rolls off his tongue effortlessly. “Frank,” he introduces himself in return. “Castle.”

“Nice to meet you,” you say.

You thought nothing and no one could pull you out of the dark hole your breakup tossed you into. You believed yourself dead and long beyond the point of redemption. You accepted it. You swallowed in your misery, giving up on finding a new purpose in your life because the one great thing you had was no longer yours. He fell into a grave that he dug for himself, and he dragged your relationship down with him.

Looking into Frank’s eyes now though, you no longer feel like a corpse. And you realize that you are not dead, not at all—you are very much alive.

The door almost breaks off its hinges when Frank shoves you into his apartment and back against it. The decision to come back to his place was fueled by a lot of alcohol and the way he looked at you. You were desperate to feel something other than the hollow ache that has consumed you every day for months. His eyes told you that he may be able to give you just what you need, no strings attached.

The way he kisses you breathes new life into your mangled soul. He swallows your mouth and your needy moans with his own, and his tongue forces itself down your throat as your teeth clash in a fight for dominance. You’re both tipsy, but he seems to know just what he’s doing.

His calloused fingers burn against your skin. In the back of your mind, Matt is still so present. His hands are the ones you can’t help but compare him to.

The way he used to kiss you before fucking you into the mattress for hours on end, switching between tasting and fingering you until you were whimpering and begging him for release might have screwed you up forever. He told you one night that he wanted to ruin you for any other man. Back then, you both still believed that you would grow old together.

It is truly ironic how fast things change when you are truly happy and believe that nothing can burst your bubble.

Frank’s large hands brace against the door on either side of your head. His lips disappear from yours. “Who is he?” he asks, his voice rough like gravel.

You meet his eyes, unsure of what to say. Your mind is everywhere but here, and yet it is right with him. Whether it is alcohol or self-loathing, you’re not sure.

“What?” you whisper.

“You’re trynna forget someone. Who is it?”

He is a lot more perceptive than you thought.

You swallow, blood rushing to your head. “I’m sorry, I didn’t–” you didn’t what? Think? You feel utterly pathetic.

Instead of throwing you out though, like you expected he would, he reaches out to caress your cheek. His eyes soften as they gaze at you. “Whoever he is, he obviously didn’t treat you right,” he says. “If you want to go, I’m not stoppin’ you, but if you wanna forget whoever is fuckin’ with your head, I’ll make damn sure you forget his name by the end of tonight.”

There is something excitingly terrifying about the look in his eyes. A shiver runs down your spine, and your thighs clench at the thought of feeling his hands somewhere other than your face. Somewhere other than your hips and thighs. His kisses knocked the air out of your lungs. You want more, you need more, but you don’t know if you can take it. Not him—even though you’re also not quite sure if you can take him—but also the offer he is presenting to you. As lucrative as it sounds, fuck, you are not over Matt. And you’re not sure if you can ever forget him.

You want to though. You have to. And you want to be thoroughly fucked into the next day and forget the name of the man that makes you so fucking angry.

“Talk to me,” Frank coaxes your head toward him. “Do you wanna forget the useless bastard that made you feel this way?”

“Yes,” you manage a breathless whisper.

“Did he hurt you? Break your heart?”

You nod.

“You deserve better.” His grip tightens, and his hand slowly slides to your neck. “I’m not, but I’ll fuck you so hard, you’ll forget his name and scream mine loud enough for this fuckin’ city to know who’s making you feel good. ‘s that what you want, hm?”

He’s dangerous, but that has never turned you off, even when it should have.

And when you finally open your mouth and tell him, “Yes, please. Make me forget,” the switch inside of him flicks completely.

He takes his time to worship between your thighs. His tongue buried in your pussy, his lips sucking on your clit without mercy. He eats you out roughly but sensually, keeping you spread wide open for him with both of his hands and a force unmatched—like a five-course meal, and he has all the time in the world for you.

You’re lost in the throes of pleasure. You want to buck your hips against his mouth because no matter what he does, you’re on fire and you just can’t get enough, but he is so powerful that you can’t fight him. He has you at his mercy, your body in his hands, and all the control in the world over you.

You pull at his hair, moaning helplessly as he feasts on your pussy. You’re going mad, you’re sure. He’s doing this on purpose, driving you to the edge before stopping the wave. Frank waits until your orgasm is just far enough for you to last a little longer, kissing the inside of your thighs, and then he dives right back into your wet folds. He thrusts his tongue into your hole, licks up to your clit, and then sucks on the swollen bundle until your legs are shaking in his hands.

“Jesus, Frank!” you moan out. A trail of sweat runs from your temple down to your breasts.

Your hands search for something to hold onto, tangling in the sheets and the pillow behind your head before pulling at the fabric. You tried pulling at his hair, but he wouldn’t let you.

“That’s right,” he growls. “Come for me.”

Your back arches off the mattress. His name leaves your lips in a desperate shout as your orgasm crashes into you.

“Attagirl.”

Your brain is hulled into an endless fog, but Frank doesn’t stop.

Soon, you’re on your stomach, gripping the headboard as he pounds into you from behind. He is long and thick, and with every thrust, he forces your face deeper into the pillows. Your eyes have rolled back into your head. He hits that spongy spot inside of you whenever he pleases, and the gurgled moans from the pit of your throat spur him on to speed up, change the angle and thrust even deeper.

He pulls out all the way, thrusting back into you with full force until he is completely sheathed in your pussy. Your heat consumes him, and he sees red. But so do you. He has reduced you to a few incoherent thoughts, babbling his name in the wake of the drool that is dripping from the corner of your mouth.

And when you come this time, it is pulled back straight against his chest with his fingers rubbing circles over your already abused clit. You come with a scream of his name, and nothing else matters but his cum in your cunt and the unbelievable depth of the feelings he is eliciting within you.

You drop to the mattress like a wet towel, covered in his and your cum, and your sweat that has mingled with his. His smell lingers in the sheets as you bury your nose in it. He collapses on top of you. The crushing weight of him offers a sense of comfort that almost makes you cry. And he holds you as though you mean more to him than a One-Night stand he picked up to help forget a man who broke her heart.

“What’d he do?” Frank asks into the silence later that night.

You are lying on his bed, covered by only his thin sheets. He’s sitting on the other side, nursing a glass of Bourbon. He held you, he cleaned you up, and he offered you some clothes, which you denied. He is kinder to you than you thought he would be, and it warms your heart in a way you can only deem utterly dangerous with how vulnerable you are. Broken people make dumb decisions, and you do not ever want to go through the same pain again.

At least you know that you are still desired. That you’re not dead. Perhaps, there is still hope for a better future. You made Matt Murdock your life for the longest time, and maybe, as you realize now, that was a mistake. There is more to life than him, and you can live without him. That it took fucking a stranger after weeks of being miserable baffles you, but some things are just meant to happen. Maybe it was destiny, after all.

You look at him when Frank repeats his question. “What’d the bastard do, hm?” he asks.

Where do you even start?

When you last checked in on him through your mutual friends—you know it wasn’t the best choice, but you couldn’t help it—they told you that grew his beard, and he last had a haircut when you were still together. It suits him, apparently, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at a picture of him.

Foggy told you that he isn’t taking home girls when they go to a bar, even though he could have all of them. He’s sad. He drowns himself at work and beats his fist bloody every night. The old you would have jumped up to help him. And it is true that you will probably always love him, in a way, but you refuse to crawl back to him.

The more you gave, the more he took, and at the first chance at getting a woman he claimed to no longer love when she came back into your lives, he took her. He couldn’t have wanted you as badly as he claimed if that was enough for him to flush years of loving each other and going through hell together down the drain, knowing it would break your heart into a million pieces. That is probably the worst part about all of it.

You take a deep breath. Frank is still staring at you intently, waiting for an answer. “He fucked his ex,” you finally confess. “Four years of being together and it still wasn’t enough.”

His grip tightens around his glass. “Want me to pay him a visit?”

You chuckle, but you know that he would. “No. But thank you.”

Matt was fading long before you left. Even if you did choose to forgive him, you couldn’t be his friend, so things are better the way they are now. You paid the ultimate price for sacrificing your heart to a man who had too many struggles to deal with himself.

In the silence, you find a little light. “At least I don’t have to pretend to like Jazz anymore,” you say.

Frank takes another sip, asking, “Jazz?”

“Yeah, Jazz. He loves it. He…He’s special. Well, he was to me, anyway.”

“Special? Fuck, the guy did a number on you, huh?”

You scoff. “You have no idea.”

The only way back to your dignity is to learn how to be without him. You have to turn yourself back into a mystery and learn how to trust someone again before your fragile heart breaks again.

“You still talk?” Frank asks.

You shake your head. “No. It’s over now,” you say. “We don’t talk anymore.”

“Told ya. You deserve better.”

“Nah.” You reach for his glass, taking a sip of the bitter liquor that you used to despise. Looking up at him through hooded eyes, you stretch his leg toward him.

You need to keep forgetting Matt’s name, no matter what it takes or the reminiscing will surely kill you.

“Right now,” you murmur with an irresistible smirk that makes him leap at you as soon as the words pass your lips, “I just need to forget he ever existed by screaming someone else’s name.”

Frank captures your lips in a bruising kiss, leaving you speechless and breathless all the same.

Matt chased you, he caught you, and then he lost you. And now that Frank has you, you never want to look back.

Now that you don't talk.

I don't have a tag list for Frank, so I'm just leaving this here.

#frank castle x reader #frank castle x female reader #frank castle smut #frank castle #the punisher #matt murdock #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock angst #matt murdock x f!reader #matt murdock x you #frank castle x you #daredevil #charlie cox #from the vault #bonus fic #inspired by: now that we don't talk

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veethefreeelf · 7 months

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Hello, I was wondering if I could make a request for jeonghannie 😢😢, how would he react to seeing you breastfeed your baby in front of him? And then he just wants to have sex and suck your tits like the baby 😢😢

Sorry Anon for 2 things. One, I took forever with this request and two, I might have gotten carried away (2.5K words, yikes). Anyway hope you enjoy it ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ Also big thanks to @leejihoonownsmyheart for giving me the courage to post this CHEERS 🥂

You’ve always wondered if you would be a good mother. Not because your childhood was bad, but because you never saw yourself as such a figure in anyone’s life. You were always the baby of all your friend groups and it took you quite some time to consider yourself an actual adult and not just an overgrown kid.

Now, looking at the little angel in your arms, you find yourself wondering how you could ever have had such a thought. Sure, she just barely came out of you but overall, things have been pretty smooth. You have the instincts down but what you have better than anything else is the person whose eyes are looking at you two with so much adoration that you could just crumble right then and there.

“Well… Are you just going to sit there and stare at us?” you asked teasingly.

“If I could help I would angel, but pretty sure breastfeeding is going to be an ‘only you’ task” he said as he smirked. You smiled at each other and as you continued feeding your little angel you looked back at your relationship with him.

Yoon Jeonghan. Before you met him, you never had been one to settle down. You had been in relationships sure, but nothing that had lasted more than 6 months max. You always ended up realizing the person in front of you just wasn’t your forever person and you had to move on. At one point, you even considered the fact that maybe you just weren’t built for love. Well, romantic love, you knew when it came to your friends and family, you loved fiercely and unconditionally, however, when it came to romantic relationships, things just… fizzled down and you always ended up realizing you had never felt true love before.

But boy did that all change when you met him. You were crazy about him from the very beginning and you tried to keep him away to try and protect your fragile heart. But he was having none of it and kept breaking through your walls with ease and he did it consistently and with purpose, because what you didn’t know was that he had been just as crazy for you as you were for him, since the very beginning.

Five years later and looking at the little family you two have built, you find it funny how you could have ever had such ridiculous thoughts about yourself and how you could ever have doubted him.

And, at this moment, after five years of knowing Jeonghan, he still manages to surprise you with the next sentence that comes out of his mouth while staring at his perfect girls.

“So, baby, when is it my turn?” he asked with such a shit eating grin. You lifted your head and stared at him. His eyes had that familiar spark they usually have when he wants to absolutely wreck you, and he is darting his beautiful orbs between your eyes and your breasts where your baby girl is currently finishing up her meal.

Once you realize what he means, you start laughing and ask him “Do I look like an open buffet to you, Yoon Jeonghan?”

“Hmm… You do look like a five-course meal, angel” he teases.

“Wow… That was incredibly cheesy even for you, Hannie. Oof… I think you might be losing your spice, baby” you teased.

“Losing my spice, huh? Well, we’ll just see about that later tonight won’t we, angel?” he said as he crossed the room to you.

He kissed you in your temple and held your baby girls’ hand and said “When she’s done with her dinner, I’ll get her to sleep, angel. You can go and do your night time routine, yeah? Look nice and pretty for me, hmm?”

You knew exactly what he meant and you swallowed hard. Maybe you shouldn’t have teased him before but also, who are you kidding? You want this as bad as he does.

Once your baby girl was done, he picked her up to have their own bonding time as he always puts it. Jeonghan is the proudest when it comes to bonding time with his daughter and he takes it very seriously. He always makes sure to be the one to get her to sleep and, on nights where he can’t be present, it always eats away at him and he feels incredibly guilty for missing out on his baby girl’s bedtime.

You go through your night routine (shower, lots of skincare, lots of hair care) and you are now standing in front of your closet wondering what kind of night this will be.

Is it a normal underwear kind of night? Is it a lingerie kind of night? Or maybe a Hannie shirt and nothing underneath kind of night? You choose the latter. From the look in his eyes earlier, this calls for the option that will make him the craziest for you, and he has always said, there’s nothing better in this world than looking at you wearing just his clothes and nothing else. A possessive little thing he is, but in the best of ways.

You go to bed waiting for him but you find yourself so tired that you start to doze off. Later, you wake up to his lips on you. He feels so warm and he is kissing you so delicately, you think you might still be dreaming.

“Sorry, angel. Baby girl took longer than usual to fall asleep. Hmm… I was just going to let you sleep but I got here and you’re in my shirt and smelling so heavenly, I couldn’t help myself” he said as he continued kissing down your neck and climbing on top of you.

“Hannie…” you moaned.

“Yeah, angel. You want me to continue or you want me to let you sleep? Your choice, baby, but choose now before I go insane” he says leaning his forehead in yours.

“Want you, Hannie. Don’t stop, please” you whispered.

He sat back on his knees and took his shirt off. You kept staring at him and wondering how you even got this fucking lucky. You’d have to pray to all the gods and the universe tomorrow.

“Angel, you can’t look at me like that. With those innocent eyes when I know that what’s going on behind them is not even close to being innocent”.

You sit up and start kissing him. Properly, taking your time. It feels like ages ago since you last just sat and kissed like this. Deeply, so profound that you forget everything else around you. You then start kissing down his neck as he starts massaging your breasts. You stop for a bit and he senses your hesitation.

“What do you think, angel? Is it my turn now?” he asks, looking you in the eyes as he keeps caressing your breast with one hand and holds your face with the other.

“What… What if it… You know… Comes out?” you asked in such a low voice you almost sounded like a scared child.

“Angel, you’re my wife. The mother of my child. You are my whole world. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. This is the most natural thing in the world and I want you so fucking bad. I want them” he says while massaging your breasts now with both hands.

“I want them so bad. I’ve tried hinting at it before but I didn’t know if you were ignoring it or if you weren’t getting the hint. But I want all of you. You know how sexy it is that you carried my child? That you brought our baby into this world? Fuck, everytime I think about it, it drives me fucking insane” he says while leaning his forehead in yours.

“Hmm… Mommy kink, Hannie?” you say, now smiling.

“More like a You kink, angel. Everything about You, always” and before you can tease him again about that line, he starts kissing you, taking your (well, his) shirt off of you and, in no time, you are in the position you were in when this all started.

He is kissing down your neck and his fingers are moving closer and closer to where you desperately want him to be. He kisses your chest, just below your collarbones and he starts running his fingers through your folds.

“Fuck… You are so wet, angel… It seems I’m not the only one wanting to try this huh?” he says in such a cocky way. You wish you had the strength to tease him back but you are getting way too desperate for his touch.

“It’s you, Hannie… The way you talk about me… About this… Fuck, please, keep going” you are now whining and getting more and more desperate.

As he starts slowly touching your clit, he moves his mouth and his free hand to your breasts. He quickly latches his mouth on one of your nipples and starts kissing it, devouring it. He’s making such sloppy noises, if it was anyone else in the world you would be so fucking embarrased but he keeps humming and moaning as he suckles and makes out with your tit.

You find yourself getting closer and closer, the fire in your core is igniting fast, too fast for your liking.

“Hannie. Hannie. I’m.. I’m close. Slow.. Slow down, please” you pant, barely making sense. He then pushes one finger… Then a second finger into your pussy and keeps reaching into that one spot inside you that makes your mind go completely blank.

“Shhh, let go, angel. Fuck, I can feel your cunt squeezing around my fingers, you’re dripping on me. Just let go, I got you” he whispers while still latched to your nipple and staring you in the eyes.

He kept going, getting sloppier, getting louder and staring at you like you are the most precious piece of art. His fingers have set the right pace and he has his thumb circling your clit with just the right pressure. Everything sounds so filthy and it’s what pushes you over the edge with a moan of his name.

He helps you come down from your high and is now kissing you all over your face and whispering “good girl. You were so good for me. I love you so much”. When you are back down on earth, you start kissing him back and you can feel just how hard he is. It must be painful at this point. He’s practically humping you and moaning praises while kissing you. You reach down to palm him through his (still very on) pants and you start massaging his cock.

“Hannie… You’re so hard, baby. Get those clothes off and get inside me. I can’t wait anymore…” you whispered in his ear between kisses.

He groans and quickly strips down. He’s now sitting back on his heels in the bed with you between your legs and he pushes your legs open. As open as they can be and he starts staring at you while running his hand through your leg. He takes his other hand and starts stroking his cock while staring down at you.

“Fuck, angel. One of these days, you’ll kill me. Look at you, all fucked out from me sucking your tit and touching you. I’ve barely started with you and you’re already so wrecked” he keeps stroking himself and staring at you. You lick your lips and start pouting.

“Hannie… You can make yourself come on me any other day, but tonight, please, fuck me. I need you inside of me, so bad” you say in your best innocent voice that you know drives him crazy.

“You sure you’re ready for me, angel? Don’t want to overwhelm you” he says. Then two things run through your mind. One: he looks like he wants to fucking wreck you but he is still giving you the option to stop him since he knows that after the birth of your girl you both have been very careful and well, for lack of a better world, vanilla in bed due to doctor’s orders and some of your fears. And two: you are the luckiest woman alive.

“Please, Hannie. I’m ready, I’m so ready. I need you now. I need everything. I’ll give you everything” you moan while staring back at him so he knows that you fucking mean it.

He leans over you, kisses you deeply, tells you he loves you and starts rubbing the tip of his cock on your pussy. He holds your hand above your head and stares into your eyes as he pushes himself into you, finally. You’re both panting and giggling and kissing, like teenagers.

At first, he starts slow. Long, well-timed strokes. Holding your hand and your hip in position, making sure your legs stay as open as possible for him.

“Faster, Hannie. I’m not gonna break. Please” you moan.

“Hmm.. My angel wants to get fucked hard, huh? Seems like my angel is a little slut tonight, isn’t she?” he said as he started speeding up and fucking you harder and harder and you moan louder and louder.

He slaps your thigh. “I need words, slut. Fucking tell me what you want. Tell Hannie what you want”.

“Fuck… Hannie… I‘m a slut tonight. Your slut… Please…” you said, completely and already fucked out of your mind.

“Shit… That��s right… Mine… All fucking mine” he says and groans. He’s getting closer and so are you.

He removes your hand from his and grabs on to your tit while his other hand is now rubbing circles on your clit. He starts sucking on your tit that he overlooked earlier tonight and keeps massaging the other. He starts rubbing your nipple and making out with your other tit and nipple. Again, getting sloppy, making the most obscene sounds.

He senses you’re close. He knows, he can tell by the way you are moaning, by the look in your eyes and by the way your pussy is squeezing his cock. He’s not going to last much longer either, not like this and he goes in for the kill.

“Is my angel close? I know you are, I can feel it. Fuck… I’m right behind you” he speeds up, latches back on to your nipple and for the final blow, he slightly bites down on it and that’s when everything erupts. You come with a cry of his name. You’re shaking and panting and he doesn’t think he’s ever seen anything so pure and beautiful.

He comes then with a groan and keeps whispering ‘I love you’ over and over again.

You just lay there together, you don’t know for how long. You’re holding him, one hand running through his hair and another running up and down his back. He lifts his head and looks at you. He then surprises you again with what comes out of his mouth.

“I knew you were gonna love that. You’re tits have always been so sensitive, specially your nipples, angel” he starts laughing against your neck.

“I guess it’s an open buffet after all” you said and you both burst into laughter still tangled together.

#seventeen smut #yoon jeonghan smut #jeonghan smut #yoon jeonghan fluff #jeonghan fluff #yoon jeonghan fanfic #jeonghan fanfic #jeonghan fic #yoon jeonghan fic #original fic #my writings #vee writes #anon ask #anon request

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lizzaneia-elizalde · 10 months

Text

Yandere! Butler x Noble! "Villain/Villainess"! Gn! Reader

Ah. I just reread Beware the Villainess for the nth time so expect our yandere for the day to be heavily inspired by Nine!

Yandere Butler name: Zero (get it? Cuz Nine's name is a number so I made our yandere's name Zero--)

notes (not really TW): slight nsfw, yandere is being used by reader, also, a bit of manipulation and breeding by the yandere (Since there is breeding, womb is present in reader.)

Zero had no qualms on making other people his priority.

He was made with that in mind, after all. Being a chimera, he was made by his creator to serve them and nothing more.

But, once Zero grew up to have a mind of his own, and having his own opinions, he was effectively kicked out of the lab. He begged and begged for his creator to take him back but to no avail.

"You were made to serve me unconditionally! But you dare question my experiments and the way I created you?! I'm your god! But you defied me, so scram!"

With a heavy heart and a lovely face filled with tears, he ran away.

He roamed the streets and promptly passed out on an alley.

Despite being a chimera, he was still built with human bodily functions. So the hunger, stress, thirst, and tiredness caught up to him.

When passerby's saw him, they turned a blind eye on him. Spitting on his body, rolling their eyes, ignoring them, or the worst of them all, pity him yet did absolutely nothing to help.

Maybe, this was his fate after all.

The punishment for going astray from his original role.

Until one day, a hand appeared in front of his face, offering him a safe place to stay.

It was you.

You were his savior, his grace, his god.

And he will do anything for you.

Anything.

Sobs can be heard from your room. It was so faint that only the keenest of ears can hear them if they strain it far enough.

You just got fooled by your fiancé, the prince, again. He called you to the palace to meet him, and you, being in love with him still, rushed to the palace with the best outfit you can wear.

But once you entered the sitting room, you saw him once more, making sweet, sweet love to a woman who wasn't you.

Ah, how many times did he do this again? Two? Three? Seven? Who counts anymore.

You were the foolish person who refused to let go of the prince and continued to torment his lover, deeming you the villain/ess in people's eyes for being opposed to "true love."

Is it really true love if it stemmed from adultery?

You always question yourself that. And it seems that even your own family is getting tired of your quick dropping reputation that's plummeting even faster than a meteorite.

You hate him. You hate him so much for making you love him. Your heart squeezes in pain as your short bursts of gasps of frustration filled your lethargic body as you continued to cry out to ease the dull ache in your soul.

You want revenge. You want him to eat shit. But how?

Zero knocked on the door. His hearing, being more advanced than a regular human, heard your sobs. He wanted to comfort you so bad, he wants to hug and kiss you, to make you forget the prince, to make you fall for him. He will not hurt you, so please give him a chance!

But Zero shook his head. "Presumptuous." He thought.

You opened your door, and Zero's heart squeezed also when he saw your tear stained face. He can see it in your eyes that you wanted revenge. You wanted to get back at the prince.

He gulped, nervousness eating him.

This is it. He can be of help to you.

He stepped forward, one, two. Then bent down to kiss your tears away. With a whisper on your ear that left shivers down your spine, his lovely and sultry voice suggested.

"Use me at your disposal, master. I am your one and only loyal servant, and I am willing to be your tool for your revenge."

His face lit up with love and lust as he saw your eyes sparking in curiousity.

"Yes, just use me." He grabbed your hand and pressed it to his warm, red cheeks. "You're my god, after all. I live to serve you."

"gah... huff... Ah..."

"Master... Hng... There, right... agh, there..."

Soft moans and gasps can be heard from the sitting room as two individuals engaged in what old conservative nobles would say, a sinful act.

"Rougher, master... Don't... Ah~ worry about... Me!"

Zero's voice can be heard, pleading his master, you, to take him more rougher and faster. You being on top of him, pressing down on his tall, lean, and muscular body that sweated with heat and speckled with bodily fluids, he looks so blissful and so euphoric.

You and Zero have been making rounds on the local gossip and tabloids. The noble y/n who's engaged to the prince has found a man? And it's their butler?!

Scandalous!

Outrageous!

But also, exciting!

Everyone loved the gossip. Everyone loved the drama. The prince had a lover, so why can't you?

People looked on the situation with keen and sharp eyes. They want more of this. Some suspected that this is all a ruse by you, the villain/ess of the prince's and his lover's relationship. They think you're faking your relationship with Zero!

But how can it be faked when you declined the prince's invitation to be his partner on the royal ball, and instead went with your hot butler? Some also saw both of you make out in the gardens!

How... SInful!

Yet people can't turn away!

And one of the people that can't turn away is the prince. He wants answers, now!

So he's running to your mansion and will demand answers.

But, what if he's the one to catch his own fiance/e making sweet, sweet love to their lover?

And what if, that lover, somehow manipulated the fiance/e into letting him breed a child in them?

Zero shakily touched your abdomen. It already has a slight bump on it as you continued to bounce on top of him. He grinned. His eyes dark, hazy, and full of obsession as he groaned from the pleasure. Your sounds of euphoric release also urged him to climax also inside of you once more.

"Yes, master." Zero said with a trembling voice, just coming down from his high. "I think, having this child between us will effectively make the prince finally end the engagement between you two."

Sweet, dumb you, only nodded with a shiver as you laid on top of him. You were totally convinced that this was the right choice and plan.

At first, you were apprehensive. After all, pregnancy? Isn't that too much? Also, he's a chimera. That's impossible.

But once you saw him experimenting on himself and applying alchemic practices on his own body to make the plan possible, you knew he would do anything to help you and serve you. So you agreed.

You got swayed that easily.

He smiled sweetly. His lovely and innocent face calmed you down as he kissed your forehead. Faint shouts can be heard from outside the sitting room and both of you readied to face the prince one last time.

Zero smirked under his breath.

After all, you were his god, his lover.

He will do anything to serve you.

He will do anything to have you.

#male yandere x reader #yandere boyfriend #yandere imagines #yandere male #yandere writing #yandere x darling #yandere x you #yandere fic #tw yandere #yandere drabbles #lizzaneiaelizalde

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andvys · 9 months

Text

We'll burn the sky | chapter nineteen

Warnings: 18+, minors don't interact! smut, fluff, cunnilingus, blow job, Eddie is a lovesick puppy, very slight angst, mostly fluff, soft smut

Pairing: Rockstar!Eddie Munson x female!rockstar!reader

Summary: You and Eddie finally get what you always wanted.

Word count: 8.3k+

Notes: This is the last chapter but there is also an Epilogue coming!

Series Masterlist

There are so many things that Eddie feels guilty for, things that he would do differently if he could go back in time to change them.

He feels bad for the truth that he hid from you for months. He feels bad for how you had found out about his previous relationship. He feels bad for hurting you the way he did, for everything that happened that followed your little fallout. He still feels awful about the night at the trailer and how it made you feel after the moment of bliss faded away. Even after you forgave him, he was plagued by guilt and negative thoughts, he was beating himself up for the longest time. He messed up so many times, he hurt you– you who changed his life forever, you who loved him unconditionally from the very beginning of it all, you who was always there despite the pain he had put you through, you who he loved from the first moment he heard your voice and laid his eyes on you.

Then, he didn’t understand it but looking back, he now knows that he had always loved you. It wasn’t a love that needed to be built up, it was one that was just there naturally and it got stronger and stronger over time. You had his heart from the very beginning, he was yours, wholeheartedly yours.

And you are his just like he is yours.

Eddie kisses you desperately, passionately. Tears burn in the back of his eyes, his heart is racing in his chest, he feels like crying and smiling at the same time. He can’t believe that this is real, that he is kissing you that way, that he gets to undress you and touch and kiss every inch of your body.

You have slipped through his fingers before because of his actions and despite how close you have gotten again, the tiny voice in the back of his mind was telling him that you might not take him back, that you might change your mind about him, that you might leave the band and him but you are here, with him, in his arms, begging for him to make love to you for the very first time.

He was content with waiting, even if that meant waiting forever. He would because there is no one else that he wants, no one but you.

“Please, Eddie.”

Your desperate whisper, your soft touches, your pleading eyes make his heart flutter like crazy.

“I got you, pretty girl,” he murmurs against your skin as he buries his face in your neck after taking your shirt off, he sucks on your skin, marking you up. He pushes you down on the bed, you put your hands on his waist and pull him down with you, catching him off guard a little. His nose bumps against yours, making you both groan.

“Ouch,” you giggle.

He cups your cheeks, “I’m sorry, baby,” he chuckles and leans in to kiss your nose before his lips meet yours again. You sigh into the kiss and wrap your legs around his waist to pull him closer against you. He moans into the kiss when you grind against him. His dick twitches in his pants. The thought of having sex with you, of being inside of you, of making love to you makes him wanna cum already.

“F-Fuck,” he murmurs against your lips, “I already know I’m not gonna last long.” You giggle at his words, brushing your fingers through his hair, you cup his cheeks and look into the eyes that stare back at you with so much love and adoration that it almost makes you cry. You peck his lips, “that’s okay, Eddie. I just wanna feel you.”

Butterflies flutter in his stomach, your touch makes him shiver, he steals another kiss before he pulls himself up a little so he can look at you. Your eyes flash with love and happiness, with longing but also with vulnerability. Your chest is rising up and down heavily as you stare at him in anticipation. He can’t help but lean down again, kissing you again and again and again, making you giggle.

“You are so perfect,” he whispers against your cheek, “so beautiful,” he says as his hands move over your chest before they settle on your waist, “so sexy,” he whispers as he kisses your other cheek, “so fucking adorable,” he whispers as he kisses your forehead, “my girl.”

Your heart flutters in your chest, happiness runs through you. You can’t even fight the smile off your face as you grab his face, “that’s all you.”

His eyes light up and he smiles, “I’m your girl?” He jokes, wiggling his brows.

You snort at his words, looking down at his lips, you lean up to kiss them, “you’re my pretty boy.”

His gaze softens and he almost wants to cry at your words. You don’t know how such simple words mean so much to him.

“All yours,” he whispers.

You tug at his shirt and he doesn’t waste a moment to take it off, throwing it to the ground before he connects his lips with yours again. God, he will never get sick of kissing you, if anything he gets more and more addicted to it.

“I’m all yours,” he mumbles against your lips, “all yours, forever.”

Your hands are all over his skin, touching him like he has never been touched before– with so much love and desperation. He will never be the same again after this and he doesn’t mind, not a single bit. Even if you decide to leave him, even if you decide to break his heart, he could never regret this, he could never regret you. He will always, always love you.

You only part away from the kiss when you are in need of air, gasping and breathing heavily, you stare at each other, wide pupils, lustful gazes– ones filled with love, you make each other feel something you have never felt before.

You touch his chest, tracing his tattoos and leaning in to kiss them, “I always loved these so much,” you whisper.

He cups the back of your head and looks down at you with a smile on his face. He knows that you can feel his heart beating strongly in his chest, he knows that you finally know how much he loves you.

You kiss him softly, whispering praises to him that make his knees grow weaker– only you could make him feel that way.

You kiss your way up to his neck, pushing his hair back, his eyes flutter closed when you attach your lips to the sensitive spot on his skin, “mine,” you whisper as you mark him up the way he did to you. Your hand moves down his stomach, making him suck in a sharp breath, “you’re mine.”

Eddie wraps his arms around you, pulling your almost naked chest tightly against his, “I’m yours,” he nods with a smile, “I always wanted to be yours.”

A moan falls from his lips when you continue to kiss him as you place your palm against his erection, palming him over his jeans.

He slips his hands down to your pants, unbuttoning them quickly. He wants you so bad, he wants to taste you, he wants to hear your moans, he wants to make you feel good. You try to kiss your way down his chest but he pushes you back against the mattress, pinning your wrists against the bed.

“Eddie,” you whine.

“This is about you, sweet girl,” he says, giving you a cocky grin when he pulls back to take your pretty lacy bra off, his mouth waters at the sight of your naked chest, he can’t even help but lean down to suck on your nipple.

“E-Eddie,” you whimper as you reach down to grab his hair.

“You’re so beautiful, fuck,” he mumbles as he continues to suck on your nipple while his other hand grabs at your other boob, “my sexy little rockstar.”

“P-Please.”

Your begs and moans just make him more desperate. You tug on his hair and stare at him with big and pleading eyes.

He takes your pants along with your underwear off. You grow flustered, your cheeks heat up as you stare at him. He has seen you like this before when he touched you on the tour bus or the few times in hotel rooms but never like this, you were never fully bare in front of him, you have never gone all the way with him and it makes you nervous but also excited. This is so much more intimate than what you have done before.

“Fuck,” he curses, staring down at you in awe. The light of the little night lamp illuminates the room just enough for him to see you, your skin looks so soft and smooth and he can’t help but want to kiss every inch of your body, make you feel so loved that you will never doubt him and his love for you again. Your eyes are almost black, pupils so dilated that every color in them is mostly gone, you look at him just the way he looks at you– with nothing but love in your eyes. Eddie wants to freeze this moment, he takes in the sight of you, admiring you and falling more and more in love with you. He leans down, grabbing your thighs, he gently lifts them and places your legs on his shoulders. His mouth waters at the sight of your glistening pussy. He kisses your inner thighs softly, slowly, making you whine in response, soft whispers leaving your lips as you reach down to grab his hair, ‘please, please, please.’ You are begging to be touched by no one but him. He savors this moment as though it’s the only one he will get with you.

His eyes meet yours when he looks up at you through his bangs, his heart flutters when you furrow your brows and stare at him pleadingly. How could he keep you waiting any longer? He licks his lips before he finally tastes you. He licks a stripe up your pussy, making you moan in pleasure and him at your sweetness.

“O-Oh Eddie.”

His stomach flutters at the sound of your moan and at the way you said his name. He repeats the same motion, making you whine more desperately. His nose nudges against your clit when he slips his tongue into your dripping hole– “mhmm baby, you taste so fucking sweet,” he moans against you, already feeling his addiction growing.

You buck your hips up, a filthy moan leaves your lips. You don’t know whether to grip his hair or the sheets beneath you– you opt for the sheets, not wanting to hurt him. You shut your legs around his head, squeezing him in, which for some reason makes him moan. You look down at him, watching the way he gets more and more desperate as he devours you.

He grabs your ass, lifting you up a little as he buries his face further into your pussy, moaning and whimpering against you. He loves it, he loves you.

You can’t even form a single sentence, you can’t open your mouth to speak the way you usually would, all you can do is moan in pleasure and watch your lover eat you out with so much desperation that it already brings you closer to the edge.

He slips his fingers into you, stretching you open for his cock. His tongue finds your clit as his eyes lock with yours yet again, “keep your eyes open, look at me, baby,” he whispers when he sees your eyes fluttering.

“Mhmm,” you nod.

Your stomach tenses, your walls flutter around his fingers, your back arches when he continues to pleasure you with his fingers. You both moan and keep looking into each other’s eyes. Neither of you need any words right now, you can see what the other thinks, you can feel it.

It doesn’t take him long to make you come undone, to make your body shake with pleasure, to make your eyes tear up from the intensity of his touch. He laps up all your sweetness with moans and whimpers before he kisses his way back up to you, connecting his lips with yours again, he kisses you deeply, making you taste yourself on his tongue.

Your thighs are shaking, your heart is racing. You place your hands on his neck and try to push his jeans down with your feet, getting more desperate to feel him inside of you. He tries to get rid of them without breaking the kiss, pushing his pants and his boxers down hastily.

“Shit,” he mumbles as he breaks the kiss when it turns out to be a struggle to keep kissing you while taking his pants off.

You giggle, reaching down to help him take them off. His erection slaps against his stomach when he finally rid himself of his remaining clothes. Your lips part, mouth watering at the sight of him, fully bare on top of you. You wrap your hand around his length and look into his darkened eyes when you begin to stroke him.

He moans your name so prettily, it makes you clench around nothing. He leans his forehead against yours, his eyes flutter closed for a moment. The feeling of your hand, pleasuring him makes him feel so special but he is close, so close already. Tasting you, making you feel good brought him to the edge already.

He opens his eyes, reaching for your hands, he grabs them gently and intertwines your fingers with his before he pins your hands against the sheets beneath you.

“I need to feel you,” he whispers, pressing a loving kiss to your lips, “I’ve wanted this for so long, I’ve wanted you from the moment I laid my eyes on you, sweetheart” he whispers as he slowly lets go of one hand, guiding it down your body, he traces your skin with his fingers before he wraps his hand around his dick to slide it through your wet folds, making you both moan at the feeling.

You wrap your legs around his waist and pull him closer against you. He teases you with his leaking tip, pressing it against your aching clit.

“P-Please baby,” you whisper.

He keeps his forehead pressed to yours, gazing into your eyes, his lips tug into a sweet smile, “I love you,” he murmurs against your lips when he finally pushes inside of you for the very first time. He gasps at the feeling of your tight walls clenching around him as he slowly inches into you. An overwhelming feeling rushes through him, his senses are heightened. He feels you everywhere, he feels you, he feels your touch so intensely. Your legs squeeze around his waist, your free hand claws at his back, your lips are so gently against his, your breaths mix together as you stare into each other’s eyes with love and desperation, emotions that have been hid for so long finally appear in both your eyes.

Eddie feels you in his heart, he feels you in his soul. God, he loves you.

“I love you, y/n,” he whispers against your lips as he pushes in even deeper, making both his stomach and his heart flutter with happiness, “you are my everything.”

You want him closer and closer, deeper and deeper. You kiss him passionately, moaning and whimpering at the feeling of his cock splitting you open. His hot naked chest is pressed against yours, you can feel his heart racing, you can feel him breathing heavily against you, you can feel him twitching inside of you. You can feel him. He is in your heart and in your soul, he has been from the very beginning.

“I love you, Eddie,” you mumble against his lips, “I love you so much.”

His eyes tear up at your words, at the emotions behind them. His hands connect with yours again, he looks deeply into your eyes, letting you see the tears that are burning inside of his. Once again, he intertwines your fingers together, allowing himself to look at you before he starts moving.

Eddie often thinks about the night at the beach, how much it changed him, how much he realized when he sat across from you and listened to you talk about love as you sat on the sand, beneath the stars.

“D-Do you think that your second love can also be your third?” he asks with a sliver of hope in his eyes.

“Uh– if the betrayal wasn’t too bad and if both healed then yes, I think that your second love can also be your third love."

He thought that you would be his second love but he wasn’t aware that you were his first, his second and his third love– his only love, his true love. He didn’t understand what it truly was, not until then, not until he lost you and realized just how much you mean to him, just how much he loves you, how much he would do for you. There is no him without you. You stepped into his life and he knew that he would do anything for you.

He will look for you in every lifetime, he will find you in every single one of them because you and him, you belong together.

As he feels your hot breath on his lips, as he feels your heart beating in your chest, your hand clinging to his as you push yourself closer against him so you can feel him even closer, he falls even more in love.

Eddie kisses you so deeply that it takes your breath away. A tear rolls down his cheek, mingling into the kiss, you both taste the saltiness as your tongues meet. Eddie starts moving, bottoming out before he pushes back inside of you without breaking the kiss.

All the torture, all the pain is finally over. He has you and you have him and now you can finally let the light in, build your life together and live the way you always wanted to; together.

“You feel so good, baby.”

His moans make you clench around him even more, your chest rises up and down heavier as your breathing becomes uneven.

“Y-You too, Eddie, you feel so good inside of me,” you whimper softly. His glassy eyes show nothing but love, pleasure and desperation, “want you like this forever.”

“Me too, darling,” he whimpers against your lips, “you’re my forever.”

He kisses your lips, your cheeks, your chest, your neck, everything. His thrusts get deeper, more desperate. Your moans become louder, just like his. He grabs your tits, your ass, pulling you closer and closer against him, wanting to feel you more. He can’t get enough of you.

You squeeze your legs around his waist, bucking your hips up to meet his thrusts, he is deep, so deep inside of you that you can feel him in your stomach. He hits that spot perfectly, making stars appear in your vision. You are dripping down onto the sheets, your walls flutter around him.

The room is filled with heavy breaths and desperate moans as he makes love to you.

He presses his fingertips against your clit, rubbing it in circles, “are you close, baby?”

“Mhmm,” you whimper as you squeeze around him, making him moan louder in response as he clings to your body with such desperation that it’s enough to heal all the opens in your body, “are you?”

“Yes– fuck, yes.”

“Cum with me, Eddie, please,” you plead as you pull him in deeper, if that’s even possible, “cum inside of me.”

His eyes widen a little, lips parting and heart skipping a beat.

“Fuck.. okay, baby, okay,” he whimpers as he thrusts deeper into you, deeper and harder. Stealing both yours and his breath away, he rubs your clit fastly and watches you, he watches the way your face contorts into pleasure, he watches the way you gasp at the feeling as you get tighter around him, he feels the way your stomach clenches, the way you cling to his body because you need him just the way he needs you.

A feeling that he has never felt before rushes through him, he can’t even describe it, he can’t put it into words but it feels so good and he knows that it’s because of you.

“I love you,” he whimpers against your lips as you both cum together, “I love you, y/n.” He spills inside of you just as you gush around his cock.

Your bodies are both shaking, you cling to each other, holding each other as your lips meet for the millionth time this night. Your hearts beat in sync, your lips move more softly and slowly against each other unlike before. His thrusts slow down before he collapses on top of you, careful not to crush you though.

When you part from the kiss, you cup his cheeks and wipe away the tears that have fallen from his eyes, kissing his cheeks and his forehead, “you’re my pretty boy.”

He smiles at you, leaning into your touch, “and you’re my pretty girl.”

For a moment, you just admire each other, enjoying the feeling of the closeness you are feeling as he is still inside of you. His gaze softens even more, he traces your skin, your nose, your lips, your cheek.

“Be my girl.”

“I was always your girl, Eddie.”

He smiles, “I mean, be my girlfriend, be mine.”

“Only if you will be my boyfriend.”

He twitches inside of you at your words, causing you to laugh. He squeezes his eyes shut, cheeks growing red as he groans, burying his face in your neck, “don’t laugh at me.”

“I’m not,” you giggle, “you’re cute.”

“The thought of being your boyfriend makes me hard again.”

You laugh again, he bites your neck playfully and flips you over so his back is flat against the mattress while you lie on top of him. He smiles when you cling to him, he presses a soft kiss to your lips, “so, will you be my girlfriend, like for real?”

You giggle and nod as your eyes flicker with happiness, “yes.”

His eyes light up, his heart skips a beat, joy and peace settle inside of his chest.

“R-Really?”

You nod and wrap your arms around him, “yes, really,” you whisper as you kiss his lips, “will you be my boyfriend?”

His eyes well up with tears and he smiles widely, “is that even a question?” He asks before he kisses you again, “I’m your boyfriend and you are my girlfriend,” he says as he strokes your cheek, admiring you with a soft look in his eyes, “it’s all I ever wanted.”

“Me too,” you smile.

Eddie pulls you tightly against him, he kisses your forehead and plays with your hair. He thinks back to all the moments when he thought that he had lost you and how they don’t matter anymore because you are here, with him, in his arms, where you belong and when he wakes up the next morning, you are still here, snuggled up to him, holding onto him tightly as if you are afraid to lose him, even in your sleep.

It’s the best sleep he had gotten in a while. For the first time, he wakes with a peaceful feeling, a smile tugs at his lips as he stares down at you. The sun is shining, the light lays softly on you. You are so beautiful.

He brushes your hair out of your face and strokes your bare skin, kissing your shoulder. You greet him with a smile that morning, a glint in your eyes that has been missing for a long time– it’s finally back again, he’s got his girl back. He knows that everything will be okay now. You got each other back and everything that happened, doesn’t matter any longer and everything that will happen, will only push you closer and closer. You will get through everything, together, side by side.

You kiss each other and whisper a soft, ‘hi,’ before you hide your face in the crook of his neck. Kissing him there.

“Good morning, girlfriend,” he smiles, squeezing your naked waist.

“Good morning, boyfriend,” you giggle.

Your giggle, your smile, your voice, your beautiful face drives him crazy. He adores you. He is so in love with you.

“How did you sleep?” You mumble into his neck.

“Good, it was the best sleep of my life,” he grins, “how about you? How are you feeling?” He asks, knowing how sick you feel in the mornings.

You pull back and look at him, furrowing your brows as you look off into the distance. He can’t help but smile at the cute frown on your face.

“I-I feel good.”

“You do?” He asks.

“Yeah,” you smile, nodding, “I feel good.”

Your mom’s words no longer matter, the articles and the paparazzi no longer matter, all that happened before, doesn’t matter.

Eddie loves you and he proved it when he took care of you all this time, when he was there for you when you weren’t feeling good, when he protected you and stood by you when all those horrible things went down, when he promised to raise a child with you that he thought was yours and Steve’s, he promised it last night when he touched and kissed you, when he made love to you for the first time.

He is here and he loves you and he is yours, that’s all that matters.

“Thank you,” you whisper.

“For what?” He asks, his brows draw together.

“For everything,” you say and kiss his lips, “for taking care of me, for being there, for loving me.”

He sees the look in your eyes, he knows that your mother must have said some awful things to you, ones that made you doubt everything but his actions, his words, his love for you proved you otherwise.

“I should be the one thanking you, sweetheart,” he whispers as he grabs your chin, “I messed up pretty bad–”

“That doesn’t matter anymore,” you mumble, interrupting him, “we’re together now, that’s all that matters, right?”

“yes baby,” he nods, smiling, “it’s you and I, and nothing else matters.”

A smile pulls at your lips as you stare at him, at his twinkling eyes, at his messy curls. Your fingers trace his tattoos, your lips find his, the urge to take care of him pushes you to kiss down his chest. His breath hitches in his throat when he watches you kiss down his body, he places his hand on the top of your head, watching you push the sheets off of him, “w-what are you doing, baby?”

“‘M gonna take care of you, pretty boy,” you whisper as you look at him through hooded eyes, “you took such good care of me, I wanna do the same for you.”

Blood rushes to his cock when you get closer to his dick, you lick his happy trail, smirking at the gasp that fell from his lips.

“S-Shit,” he whimpers, fingers grasping your hair, “please baby,” he moans.

You keep your eyes on him as you wrap your hand around his cock, licking the underside of it, you moan.

His eyes widen at your action, pushing himself up to his elbows, he stares at you with big eyes, “h-holy fuck.”

“You have such a pretty cock, Eddie,” you smirk as you repeat the same motion before you start off with kitten licks, teasing his tip with your tongue before you spit down on him and stroke him a little, enjoying his moans and pleads, “keep moaning like that for me, Eddie. I love it,” you murmur before you take him into your mouth.

“O-Oh baby!” Eddie gasps at the feeling, he pulls at your hair and moans filthily, “y-you’re f-fuck… so– Ah!” He gasps again when you gently play with his balls and take him even deeper as you hollow your cheeks. His stomach clenches and his hips buck up a little, making you choke on his cock when it hits the back of you throat, his eyes widen, “s-shit, I’m sorry– Oh..” He moans when you suck harder and look up at him with big and glassy eyes. “Y-You have a filthy mouth, sweetheart,” he gasps. You moan– you fucking moan as you suck him off desperately and when he pulls your hair harder, you moan louder and arch your back. It only makes you act rougher, you swirl your tongue around him, drool slips down your jaw as you suck him off harder, “j-jesus christ,” he whimpers, he breathes heavier and heavier.

You jerk him off where your mouth can’t reach him, you hollow your cheeks, moans and whimpers vibrate against him.

“Y/n, baby,” he whines, looking down at you with awe and pleasure in his eyes. No one had ever made him feel this way, no one has ever touched him with so much want and need, with so much love and pleasure, “you’re such a good girl for me,” he breathes as he strokes your hair, “making me feel so good, shit– I love you.”

“Mmm,” you moan around him, going faster when you feel him twitching inside of your mouth. You know he is close, a look into his eyes, a loud moan and your hands on his balls as you suck his dick with desperation is enough, he grips your hair tightly and looks into your eyes giving you a warning look– not sure if you want him to cum inside your mouth but when you give him a desperate look and hollow your cheeks even more, he knows you want it.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck….” He whines, barely able to keep his eyes open but he wants to see you, he wants to watch you.

Seeing him that way, falling apart for you, arching his back in pleasure because of you, whining and moaning, seeing his cheeks grow red and hearing him say your name, brings you so much pleasure. His hair is messy, his dark eyes look down at you pleadingly, his lips are parted, whimpers falling from them when he cums inside of your mouth.

You close your eyes, moaning as you swallow it all before you release him with a pop!

Eddie is gasping for air, breathing heavily and staring at you with a shocked look on his face, his heart is beating in his chest, he is sure that it’s about to explode, “holy shit! I think you sucked my soul out.”

You giggle, crawling on top of him, you straddle his waist and place your hands on his chest, wiping your slick chin.

He stares up at you in awe, placing his hands on your thighs, “you’re not real,” he whispers as eyes your naked body, “you are too good to be real.”

Your whole face lights up, a smile appears on your face, one that makes his heart beat faster, “I’m very real,” you whisper as you lean down to kiss his cheek.

“Very real and all mine,” he smiles.

“All yours,” you whisper and snuggle against his chest, “do you wanna take a shower with me?”

“Can I eat you out in the shower?”

“Sure.”

“Okay, let’s go,” he chuckles, happily.

“Where are they?”

“Maybe she’s feeling sick again.”

“Or maybe they’re fighting–”

“In the sheets?” Gareth wiggles his brows at Johnny, causing him to laugh.

He shakes his head, “nah, not in the sheets, man. Eddie was pissed last night when they left the bar.”

“Nothing that some angry fucking can’t fix,” Gareth laughs, “they’ve been awfully clingy lately, especially Eddie.”

“Probably because he’s jealous of Steve,” Johnny says as he sips on his coffee.

Jeff stares off into the distance, picking at his fruit as he waits for you and Eddie to join the three at them for breakfast.

“I thought so too but then they left the hotel room together after new years–”

“Because Robin hooked up with y/n’s friend and Steve couldn’t stay with them.”

Gareth shakes his head and bites into his bagel, “nah, I bet they all fucked.”

“I don’t think so.”

Gareth shrugs as he continues to scarf down his food the way he always does at the breakfast buffets, “well, I think y/n and Eddie are finally getting down to business,” he laughs.

Jeff raises his eyebrows when he sees you and Eddie walking in, not minding the staff or the people around you as you kiss each other before you pull away, only to kiss again. A smile takes over his face.

“You know what? I think you might be right this time.”

The other two men raise their brows, following Jeff’s gaze to where you and Eddie are standing. You are pouring yourself a coffee into a mug as he stands behind you with his arms wrapped around your waist, kissing your cheek.

“Oh my god,” Gareth grins, “fucking finally! These two have caused me so much emotional stress.”

Jeff laughs, shaking his head at his friend, “you’re such a drama queen.”

“Who is a drama queen?” Eddie asks as the two of you join them, he pulls the chair back for you, winking at you when you give him a cheeky smile as you sit down.

“Gareth,” Jeff says as he looks down at Eddie’s neck, which is covered in hickeys, a grin appears on his face. Eddie’s eyes are filled with nothing but happiness. He looks over at you, you were better at hiding the marks on your neck, still they peek out from beneath your shirt. You look relaxed, rested and at peace– for the first time in a while. Your lips are pulled into a smile, your skin is glowing and you look happy. Jeff smiles to himself. Finally, he thinks to himself.

You and Eddie intertwine your fingers together, flashing each other a smile. You are together. They don’t have to ask to know. You both seem happier than you have ever been before and they can’t help but feel happy for you as well.

Months of touring through the country were now over, you’ve seen so many cities you haven’t been in before, met the most amazing people when you visited the hometown of your friends and bandmates. You and Eddie have grown together, you have lost each other for a moment but found your way back to one another. You don’t dwell too much on the bad things, you focus on the good, on the future that you have with Eddie and with the band.

After a long talk with Sam and Rob, you have agreed on taking a small break after Jeff broke the news to everyone, revealing the secret that he and Wren have been hiding for a while. He was going to be a dad. And while Gareth was freaking out, he couldn’t help but be happy to become an uncle.

You and Eddie have started to work on your next album, despite the agreement that you would be taking a break, you couldn’t help but write songs together, you are inspired by each other– you are each other’s muse. And as each day passes, you fall more and more in love with each other, surprising yourselves with the intensity of your feelings.

Who would’ve known that you could love someone so much?

Eddie’s love for you is something out of this world. You were always a romantic and believed in true love and one that you would only ever read about in books but Eddie loves you even more than that. His love for you cannot be put into words, just like your love for him can’t be put into words.

And it never changes, it never fades away, it never becomes weaker, if anything it becomes stronger.

A few months later, you wear a shiny ring on your finger, one that you haven’t taken off ever since Eddie had proposed to you on a summer night at the beach that you had taken him to a year prior to the proposal. Eddie had taken you to the karaoke bar first where you first met before he nervously took you to your spot on the beach and got down on one knee to ask you to marry him. You both cried and smiled in happiness, fantasizing every night about your wedding ever since as you laid in your shared bed in your new house.

Eddie watches you with big and soft eyes, his lips are parted, a warm feeling spreads across his whole body as he stares at you. He doesn’t even hear Jeff’s words or Lucas as he laughs at Jeff’s jokes. All he sees is you holding Jeff and Wren’s newborn.

He leaves the conversation, walking over to you with a soft smile on his lips. You are watching the little boy with awe in your eyes as he lays on your lap, you coo at him when he yawns and stretches his tiny body. Your smile widens when you lock eyes with your fiance.

Eddie sits down next to you, leaning in to kiss your cheek, “having fun?”

“Mhmm,” you nod, “look at him, he’s the cutest.”

Eddie’s eyes soften, he looks at the tiny little human in your arms and he can’t help but imagine one of your own– he wonders what they would look like, would they have your eyes or his? He hopes they will get your pretty eyes. “Hmm, he looks like a little Jeff with the big head.”

You gasp but you can’t help but laugh, “Eddie!”

The little boy scrunches his face up, making a funny nose. You frown, taking his tiny hands, “shh, you don’t have a big head, little one.”

Eddie chuckles, his heart flutters in his chest when you kiss the tiny hands.

“C-Can I hold him?”

You turn to look at him, smiling at his question, “of course,” you say, though you aren’t sure if you are prepared to see him with a baby in his arms. Still, you carefully hand him over and even though he had never held a baby in his arms before, he looks like a natural as he takes the little boy into his arms. Eddie leans back against the couch and holds the little boy against his chest, he snuggles against his chest.

“Oh my god,” you whisper as you stare at them both, “look at you, you’re a natural.”

Eddie can’t help but smile.

“He likes you.”

You lay your head on his shoulder and gaze up at him, your stomach flutters. You love seeing him like this, with a baby in his arms and a happy smile on his face. Eddie turns to you, pressing a soft kiss on the top of your head, “yeah? I like him too,” he chuckles, his large hand makes the newborn look even smaller. He looks down at you, at the way you snuggle up to him and reach for the tiny little hand that grasps your finger tightly. Eddie’s heart flutters wildly in his chest, watching the way you smile with a flash with adoration in your eyes. Eddie wraps his free arm around you, holding the two of you.

You both giggle and coo at him when he stretches again. Neither of you hear the flash of the camera going off, you are too busy admiring the baby–well you are, Eddie is admiring you.

“I can’t wait to have one of our own,” he whispers, squeezing your arm.

Your eyes soften, heart skipping a beat as you look back into his eyes, “really?”

He nods, “yeah, I’d have one with you right away,” Eddie says with a blush on his face.

Grinning, you cup the back of his neck and pull him down, pecking his lips which makes him smile at you.

“What about the second album and the tour?”

He frowns, shrugging, “baby on tour, sweetheart,” he smirks, “we’ll raise a little rockstar.”

You snort at his words, “I’m not gonna be a stay at home mom while you tour the world and get to be around all these pretty groupies while I–” He cuts you off with another kiss, “I don’t care about them, you know that,” he mumbles, frowning at you, “and I’d be willing to be a stay at home dad if you wanted to continue touring.”

“Seriously?” You gasp.

He nods, smiling, “mhmm, mom gets to be a rockstar and dad is a cool retired rockstar,” he says laughing.

You shake your head at him, laughing.

“No, we should just do another album, another tour and then we should both be stay at home parents,” you shrug.

You don’t ever want to be away from him, not even for a single day and he feels the same, he wants you by his side, all the time.

“I like that,” he smiles.

“Yeah?”

“Mhmm, we should start practicing though,” he smirks, wiggling his brows.

“Like we aren’t practicing all day to make you a daddy,” you giggle.

“Oh fuck,” he groans as his eyes widen, “you make me wanna bend you–”

“Not in front of the baby!” Lucas says as he holds his own hands over his ears. Max shakes her head at her boyfriend, snorting at him, “which baby are you talking about, you or the actual baby?” She rolls her eyes.

He tilts his head, glaring at her, “I’m talking about little Olaf.”

You and Eddie start laughing.

“His name is Oliver!” Wren calls from the kitchen.

Lucas shrugs as he looks down at Oliver, “I like Olaf more.”

“You are so weird,” Max mumbles before she looks back at you and Eddie. A small smile tugging at her lips, “you’d be cool parents.”

“I agree,” Eddie smirks as he looks down at you with a suggestive look in his eyes that tells you, ‘let’s go home right now.’ Which you end up doing, unable to say no to him and his puppy eyes.

The night ends the way it always does, with you both naked, tangled in the sheets, unable to get enough of each other. No matter how rough or desperate he is with you, he never fails to show you how much he loves you. He always takes care of you, he always makes sure that you are feeling good and you do the same for him, you take care of each other.

It usually never takes you long to fall asleep in his arms but that night, you lie awake and watch him sleep– not knowing that that’s what he usually does. You run your fingers through his curls and trace his tattoos. The warm feeling inside your chest, the one that he gave you from the start, never faded away, the feeling of safety he gave you even in the worst times, never left, it’s here and it’s stronger than ever just like his love for you.

Eddie makes you feel strong and brave, something that you have never really felt like before. It gives you the courage to do something you have been so afraid of all these years. You lean in to kiss his cheek before you carefully push the sheets off of your body, reaching for your panties and his shirt, you put them on before you open the drawer on your bedside table. Instantly, letting your eyes fall on the letter you kept carrying around with you wherever you went. You take it out, holding it against your chest, you look back at him one more time before you get up and walk out onto your little balcony.

You walk over to the railing and take the moment to look up into the starlit sky, the moon shines brightly, making everything appear much later than usual. The crickets chirping, the soft wind touches your bare skin.

You take deep breaths before you look down at the letter nervously. With shaky hands, you open the envelope and before you hesitate or decide against it, you pick the letter out and open it. Unfolding it. You instantly tear up when you read the first words.

To my little girl,

Why were you ever afraid to open it? Why were you ever afraid to read the words your dad had written to you? You know that he loved you. You know that he would never say anything cruel to you. Yet, your evil mind convinced you that he left because you were simply too much.

You blink the tears away and take another deep breath, holding the letter with your shaky hands.

I’m sorry about what happened, I’m sorry that I left you. I’m sorry that I can’t be there the way you have always been there with me. I want you to know that you are the only thing that kept me here for so long, my little sunshine. Getting to be a dad, getting to be your dad was the best thing that could ever happen to me, watching you grow up and grow into this amazing girl that you are now was worth all the pain in this world.

Yesterday, you showed me the song that you wrote, you played it on the guitar that used to be mine and I saw the happiness in your eyes, the passion and the love you have found for music when you sang and played it for me and I knew that you had already found a place in this world. I know that you will make it far, further than I did. You will get everything you have ever dreamed of. I might not be there to see it but I know that you will be up on the big stages, singing to the people that love you.

Don’t let anything stop you, not pain, not heartbreak, not grief. Don’t let the things that destroy you from hoping for something better, don’t close yourself off because you are afraid of love. Sometimes it hurts so badly that you don’t know how to keep going but you will heal, I know you will. You are strong and brave and I know that you will beat this world and the pain that is out there.

I am proud of you and for who you have become already, my sweet girl. I wish I got to see you grow up, I wish I got to see you become the rockstar that you already are, I wish I got to see you fall in love with someone amazing, I wish I got to walk you down the aisle. I wish I got to hold you one more time. But I want you to know that I’m here, I’m with you every step of the way and I’m proud of you, I am so proud of you, y/n.

There is someone out there who will love you unconditionally, someone who will make you happy and lay the world, the universe at your feet and don’t you ever forget this, you will be loved.

Goodbye, my sweet girl.

Your tears are staining the white paper, smudging the black ink, you cry silently, letting the tears run down your cheeks. Your heart is aching but to know what he had said to you, finally brings you the peace that you always needed. To know that your dad was proud of you, that he loved you before he left this world sets you free and gives you the comfort that you have needed ever since the night you lost him.

You will be loved. That’s what he always said to you but you struggled to believe it after he died.

But then Eddie came along and he loves you, he loves you the way your dad said he would. Eddie loves you unconditionally, he gave you his heart.

You fold the paper and put it back into the envelope, placing it on the small table, you wipe your tears and look up into the night sky.

“Goodbye dad,” you whisper for the first time. A fallen star appears in the sky and a gentle breeze touches your cheek. A sad smile appears on your face. For a moment, you just stand there and look up into the sky.

Gentle hands tug at your waist, pulling you into the warm chest of your lover, “where’d you go, sweetheart?” Eddie whispers as he hugs you softly from behind, pressing a kiss to your shoulder, “I can’t sleep without you.”

You place your hands on his forearms and lean back, laying your head on his bare chest, you turn your head to look at him, taking in the sight of his messy hair and tired eyes. Cute.

“I couldn’t sleep,” you whisper as you lean up to kiss his jaw.

He frowns, eyes saddening when he notices the look on your face, he knows that you have been crying, instantly, he cups your cheeks and eyes you with a concerned look in his eyes, “w-what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you smile, leaning into his touch, “I’m just happy,” you whisper.

He smiles at your words, he turns you around, looking at you with love in his eyes as he leans down to press a gentle kiss to your lips, “I love you, y/n.”

“I love you too, Eddie.”

You smile at each other, stealing more kisses from one another before you lay your head on his chest, sighing at the feeling of his warm hug. He kisses the top of your head, “I’m the luckiest man alive.”

“And I’m the luckiest girl alive,” you giggle.

He chuckles, unable to fight the smile off his lips, “I think I have a name for our new album.”

“Really? What is it?” You ask as you lay your chin on his chest and gaze up at him.

He can’t help but kiss you again before he whispers, “we’ll burn the sky.”

@littledemondani @wroteclassicaly @corrodedcorpses @corrodedseraphine @yearwalker96 @imjuststeddietrashatthispoint @sherrylyn628 @mysticmunson

#eddie x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson imagines #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson smut #eddie munson series #stranger things imagines #rockstar!eddie munson #rockstar!eddie

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di-42 · 3 months

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A post by @makewayforbigcrossducks prompted me to think about a few things.

As a neurotypical person who loves Aziraphale to bits, I wonder if it's true that most neurotypical people hate, dislike or simply don't understand Aziraphale. The consensus from neurodivergent people seem to be that yes, that's the case.

I was also wondering if another factor to whether we identify or love or understand (with) Aziraphale more than (with) Crowley might be age. I tend to think that those of us who are less young empathise with Aziraphale more than those who are younger. Which would explain why sometimes the tumblr fandom seems to be one sided as tumblr users are probably averagely younger than, say, 40. But obviously that's a wild guess and it really doesn't matter.

What I really wanted to talk about is the concept, mentioned in some reblogs of that post and in other Good Omens posts, of unconditional love. My first, instinctive reaction to that post was "interesting! I'm not neurodivergent but I would defend Aziraphale against any attack and I love him unconditionally".

Except, no. Actually, I don't love him unconditionally. I don't love anyone unconditionally, whether they are fictional characters or people in my real life. If I had children probably I would love them unconditionally but I don't and there's no one whom I would love just because they exist.

People in my real life, and fictional characters as well, have had to earn my love, and I theirs. I wouldn't love them no matter what they are and what they do, I love them because of what they are and what they do. If my husband had been a racist, homophobic and misogynistic bastard I wouldn't love him. Same for my friends, siblings and mum. I never loved my father.

Unconditional love is something abusers rely on. Unconditional love is also something oppressive religions rely on because is so similar to faith: you accept everything from those you love unconditionally, don't question anything and keep having faith.

I don't love Aziraphale unconditionally. He's better than that. I love Aziraphale because of who he is. If I thought Aziraphale accepted the offer because he's power-hungry or because he's basically so stupid as not to see the metatron is trying to manipulate him I wouldn't love him. That doesn't mean I think Aziraphale is perfect. I think he's got lots of flaws and faults, which is ok. Like in real life, you can love someone and their faults without loving them unconditionally.

I also don't think Crowley loves Aziraphale unconditionally. He wouldn't love Aziraphale if Aziraphale's behaviour over the millennia had been like Gabriel's for example, or Muchael's. Crowley and Aziraphale love each other because of who they are, because of the choices they've made in their history, because they know the other has lived through their own trauma and because... I don't know. Everything. Because of how they make each other laugh. Because of how the other is always there. Because of the trust they've built. Because they see in the other something that heaven and hell will never see. Everything. But not unconditionally.

Which gives me hope. Because I think Crowley still loves Aziraphale but I also think it's not unconditional love. It's love that comes from a shared history and Crowley will know Aziraphale is not just going to betray him. Crowley will know there's something else going on. Just as soon as he recovers from the initial shock.

And, well, everything will be ok.

#justice for aziraphale #aziraphale #crowley #good omens #ineffable husbands #good omens season 2 #azicrow #aziracrow #good omens 2 #aziraphale defence squad

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blakeswritingimagines · 4 months

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Reaction to a "Blind" Gorgon Girlfriend

Wednesday:

She would be completely unphased by your lack of conventional sight. She would probably become quite enamored with the way you easily navigate your surroundings using your other senses (like echolocation and your touch sense) and try to emulate them herself. She would appreciate how your senses are different from her own, yet equally valid and fascinating. She would try her best to understand and support you.

Enid:

She would be intrigued by the fact that her girlfriend is blind, though also cautious about how you might react to certain things. Enid would ensure she's always communicating clearly so that you understand what is happening around you as best you can. If you were comfortable with it, she would like to explore touch and other forms of intimacy, as those would be a great way to establish a connection between you both. Overall, she would approach the situation with nothing but patience, care, and understanding.

Xavier:

It was certainly an interesting experience dating a blind gorgon. Your eyes had a certain beauty to them, despite not being able to physically see anything. He was able to have a deep connection with you without fear of being turned to stone. In terms of your actual physical relationship, it didn't change much, as your senses of touch and hearing were heightened due to being blind. He wouldn't change a thing about your time together.

Rowan:

He loves you unconditionally. If you were blind (or any other disability), he would be there to support you and learn to adapt to accommodate your disability. He believes that everyone has the capacity to love without conditions, it just requires effort and commitment.

Tyler:

It would be a weird experience in the beginning for him, not just because you're blind but because of you being a gorgon. But you know, every relationship should be built on trust and understanding. So if he has a blind gorgon girlfriend, he would try to make you feel comfortable and get to know her more. If you feel comfortable with him, you and him could have a really amazing connection.

Ajax:

Well, it's definitely a unique relationship! I admire her boldness and strong sense of self. Her blind eyes can still be incredibly expressive. I think we can have a great, loving, and mutually respectful relationship. Of course, I would be a bit nervous about the possibility of accidentally turning her to stone. But I know that if we both exercise caution and are considerate of each other's needs, we can make it work.

Bianca:

She will probably be intrigued and excited to have a blind gorgon girlfriend. She will be interested in making sure your needs are met and that you feel comfortable. She would enjoy exploring your world and learning from your perspective. She would be open to adapting her life to accommodate your needs and make you feel comfortable and loved.

#wednesday addams x reader #enid sinclair x reader #xavier thorpe x reader #rowan laslow x reader #tyler galpin x reader #ajax petropolus x reader #bianca barclay x reader #wednesday headcanons #wednesday imagine #wednesday

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looseduke · 1 year

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okay insane thought about names and the feelings i have about them as a transgender blended family kid. it requires a leap of logic where the fantasy high parent couples remain dating and get married or otherwise legally bind themselves together but follow me on this for a moment. also i don’t know or care if this follows canon im just deciding it does

gilear took sandra lynn’s last name

could not afford to change it after the divorce

gilear is just one of those ppl who really likes having the same last name as his life partners, doesn’t have to be his name, he just thinks it’s nice

(sandra lynn liked her name and though she has Many Issues and might have changed her name in an attempt at normalcy gilear’s name was definitely something outlandishly stupid and he suggested it first anyway so it worked out)

do u see where im going with this

gilear seacaster.

fabian is furious but this ain’t about him

something so funny about taking your (way funnier if they don’t even get married) girlfriend’s dead husband’s last name

he keeps faeth as a middle name bc it’s still a connection to fig that he values and wants to keep

anyway. jawbone hears about all of this. absolutely loves it. thinks it’s awesome

jawbone o’shaughnessy-faeth!

yes with the apostrophe and the hyphen. yes every time.

he likes the connection to gilear and fig as much as he does the one to sandra lynn <3

when consulted fig was SUPER enthusiastic about another dad. gilear was like sigh. that might as well happen. im already being dunked upon by my mean stepson. go ahead.

okay the grand finale. the reason i even made this fucking post

adaine kills her dad, gets adopted, and starts to wonder if she should change her name

adaine makes amends with her sister, and starts to wonder if she should keep it

jawbone lets her know right away that he’ll support her decision no matter what, but it takes a long time for her to decide

it takes watching gilear and fabian bicker over their shared last name, watching fig get sappy over gilear holding onto the name faeth, watching fig and jawbone get sappy over THEIR shared last name, watching sandra lynn hide a smile whenever it comes up, watching, watching, watching

watching her sister learn and grow and love her unconditionally

she makes her decision, and when her dad brings her home from the fantasy dmv, there’s a new name on her ID

adaine abernant-o’shaughnessy-faeth. yes all three names. yes with the apostrophe. yes with the hyphens. every time

it’s for her dad, yes, for the man who gave her a home, who helped her find her strength, who is always her safe space, but it’s for more then that too

it’s for her sister, who for better or worse is in all of her earliest memories. who never underestimated her. who’s trying, every day

it’s for her sister, who called her awesome on the first day of school. who’s always there for her. who wears her heart on her sleeve and teaches adaine it’s okay to be emotional. who’s her best friend

it’s for the man who took her in when he had next to nothing to offer, who shared his extra garlic knots and vending machine snacks, who hosted his daughters strange friends night after night without question or complaint

and it’s for the elven woman sitting across from her at the dinner table, who understands her greatest fear better then anyone else and has built a life for herself despite her mistakes. who protected her on their quest. who opened her house for about 6 teenagers to live there permanently and anywhere between 3 and 10 more to hang out as much as they want

adaine abernant-o’shaughnessy-faeth, the people’s oracle <3

#there is absolutely nothing wrong with being family and having different last names. or having the same last name and not being family #but personally #choosing my name and who got to be included was one of the most powerful things in the world and i want that for her <3 #dimension 20 #fantasy high #adaine abernant #also i personally am an o’[name]-[name]#and let me tell u. every computer hates you so much forever. but it’s okay

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tmblrcolouredpaper · 2 months

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You Are Changing with TXT

life brings changes, and TXT is unconditionally, lovingly and supportively by your side (fluff)

5 member x reader scenarios in the form of bullet points TRIGGER WARNIG: hinting body dysmorphia, destructive habits, social anxiety, perfectionism, low self-worth wc: ca. 1740

deviders by @cafekitsune

YEONJUN

your body is changing and with that you have to get to know its new form

there are two major things that are affected in your daily life:

one thing is that you have a different capacity of moving through a day, a different sense of how you feel your body

Yeonjun will be by your side when you actively decide to workout, monitoring your capacity and reminding you to do it at your pace, letting you discover how your body currently works.

If you grow frustrated that one exercise is not as easy as it used to be, he reminds you that it is perfectly fine, that with lifestyle, mental and physical changes, you experience changes in almost every realm and that it is not a bad thing, just a natural one.

He motivates you, dries your tears, holds your hand to help you with your balance, but also to prove that you are not alone, that he literally got you.

Besides sports, he gives you an abundance of loving touches, massaging you, caressing you, cuddling you, he wants to make you feel your body comfortably, welcoming you in this world in every singly form you go through in life.

the other thing is how you perceive your vessel

Yeonjun will fund your new wardrobe. Clothes that fit and you feel confident in.

You might be uncomfortable with your current clothes, so he will make sure to not only express that you can take his, he will put a pile of clothes on the bed in the morning, so that you can simply reach out and put fabric with his scent on you.

If it’s a day you especially struggle, he will dress you himself, gently pushing sleeves over your arm and he will add kisses and hugs, letting you rest in his presence, to make sure to remind you of comfort’s existence when you initially cannot find yourself feeling comfortable in your skin.

If you enjoy going shopping by yourself he’ll give you money and lets you buy whatever you want. He will also always let some money in your pocket in case you spontaneously stumble upon a piece of fashion you find gorgeous, so you can get it right away.

If you want to go shopping, but you feel like you cannot handle it by yourself, seeing your unfamiliar reflection in the unflattering light of the changing rooms, he’ll join you and he will be rather picky with what you should get.

He will judge clothes with all of his honesty, keeping a high standard omnipresent, because you deserve the best of the best regarding the financial capacity he can provide.

Quality over quantity.

SOOBIN

you have built some habits that are rather destructive and you want to get rid of them

Soobin will first of all always listen to what you are telling him, quietly sitting next to you and nodding along you animately taking about what’s on your mind.

When it comes to actually working on getting rid of habits, let’s say, trying to not look at your phone first thing in the morning, he will observe you in the beginning without interfering.

Only when you grow frustrated, because you cannot manage to break the habit, he offers help that he only lives by when you accept it.

He’s help you come up with habit replacements, letting you switch off your alarm on your phone and immediately imitates the melody, making you laugh at first, but you join him.

He would ask you to do stuff, just so you can transition between moments without returning to the undesired habit.

In this case, he’ll ask you if you’d make him coffee, knowing that you love the scent of it.

So, slowly, but surely, you build a new routine excluding the tasks you dislikes and Soobin’s celebrating every step on the way to a slightly yet impactful different course of your day that allows you to go to bed more carefreely and at peace.

BEOMGYU

you used to be carefree in social realms, but people hurt you over and over again and even though you thought you would be able to handle it, you learnt that the past will eventually catch on and limit your abilities that you used to see as your irrefutable strong suits

Beomgyu knows you as being talkative and bubbly, joking with people and making them laugh. He watched you speaking to strangers, just because you found them interesting, asking them about what book they were reading and presented your current fav or where they got their jacket from, telling them that it would perfectly fit to your new pants.

He registers you becoming more and more timid, finding you sitting quietly, listening to the people around you and he waited for you to jump in with a horrible pun you would spontaneously come up with just for the joy of it, but you do it less and less.

When you have to prepare for a presentation, he watches you practicing it the same way you used to, but has a message on his phone, asking if he can pick you up, at a time that he expects you to still be in class.

He learns that you are not doing well in talking in front of people anymore and embraces you after the presentation, holding your shaking hands and caressing your palm with his fingers in a rhythm that you can use to match your breathing with.

When people talk over your quiet voice, strength not vocalize your thoughts needing to be build up every time you want to say something, he will speak up to ask you directly what you wanted to say during a break of conversation and even when no opportunity arises in that moment, he will make sure to ask you later on, so that you can tell at least him.

He wants to make sure, you will always have someone who listens to your thought, regardless whether you bring them out all shy and quiet or loud and excited.

At days you really cannot bring yourself to speaking without tearing up, he offers you to write.

Sometimes you put only key-words onto the paper and let him talk about whatever comes to his mind, nodding in agreement or shaking your head in disagreement, to convey your connotation in the most minimalistic way possible.

At other times you write whole essays in your diary and let it open on your bed, a signal for Beomgyu to have concerns to read through your thoughts.

Beomyu will not be less entertained by you. You are still the same funny and exhilarating person you used to be, you just express yourself differently and that is fine. Outgoing or not outgoing, you are just as valid as always and the world changes and as do you.

TAEHYUN

you used to be academically high achieving, but now life is not as favorable for being able to focus on studying like you knew it

you struggle with two things:

one is that academic validation used to be your evidence for being smart and without good grades you doubt your own intellect, causing you to feel insecure and stupid

Taehyun will ask you for your expertise often.

Even if you feel like your knowledge is not profound enough, he will assure you that you are valuable regardless of what numbers on paper say.

He asks you a lot about your hobbies, just to listen to you rant about topics in such depths that not only he finds inspiration and knowledge, but you do yourself, having fun with what your brain is capable of instead of only harassing it for productivity.

the other thing is that you used to have high goals that required good grades, but now you find yourself with the unfamiliarity of not envisioning the same future for you anymore and you do not know what do do and where to go, lost the sense of what you actually want

Taehyun loves to daydream with you, just talking about everything and anything, fantasizing about the most unrealistic ideas, because he believes that there is always to an access the making reality similar to fantasy. You only have to return to thinking realistically, adding the valuable pinch of fantasy into your daily life.

That is how he helps you exploring yourself.

Besides that, he will take you to new places and into new situations, also familiar places and situations, and lets you evaluate those, looking out for whether you enjoyed it and what specifically, so that you find orientation in what makes you currently happy.

Even if you find yourself discovering something that makes you feel embarrassed, he will react in excitement, infecting you with the curiosity of who you are right now rather than who you used to be and he will love you with every new thing you embody and says goodby to everything you decide to let go with utmost thankfulness.

KAI

you used to make sure to not be an inconvenience for people, but you grew sick of unnecessarily considering everything and everyone around you without considering yourself

Kai likes you being easy-going, but he hates seeing it situations not being easy-going for you, you giving so much with nothing in return, aware that he cannot just expect you getting everything without asking for anything.

You might worry that you turn out being too much, too high maintenance if you start claiming requirement, so Kai suggests that you start with verbalizing your wishes and expectation to him more nonchalantly, calling him out for not tidying up after him or directly asking him to get you a pretty rose, you see in a flower shop.

He reminds you that people around you are autonomous individuals and can decline requests or compromise with you when you feel like you might be too harsh and careless.

Kai will comfort you when you are uncomfortable and not able to stick up for yourself, following people’s preferences that do not go against your own and he lets you rant and be annoyed and embrace the emotions until you realize again that you can take action and protect your well-being and that you deserve to do so.

He proudly watches you becoming more confident and carrying yourself with a better sense of responsibility and respect and he himself grow, inspired and motivated by you.

comments are highly appreciated 🤗

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