#he's a horrible and despicable person who's

[maleyanderecafe]

Magical Package Lilaca (Webcomic)

Created by: MewArrow

Genre: Magical Girl/Horror

I will say that I'm generally very in love with tsunyanderewyvern's way of writing more despicable main characters that end up warping the yandere to their needs. Personally, I think it's always very fun when the main character causes their own demise by just being a horrible person and either getting their messed up ending or having the yandere going to far. They also created LifeLine which is also a good short webcomic about two yandere lovers.

Magical Package Lilaca is divided in to 7 different chapters, which each one diving deeper into the story of Lilaca.

The story starts out with Lilac asking to join the magical girls after one of them saves her. She is given a baton by one of the members and introduced to the rest of the party soon after. As much as she finds the other members boring, she does seem to have interest in being a magical girl. The leader, Hyacinth talks about their role as magical girls, fighting creatures known as weeds and clearing out the Miasma. She assigns her first task with another member called Acacia, before warning her about Shadekeepers, the group that goes against the Peacekeepers (the group that she's in) and tries to take their batons away from them. The magical girls talk to each other before going out to fight the Weeds, with Lilac being rather resistant to the Miasma around her. Weeds are creatures formed out of Miasma. With the power of teamwork, they are able to seal the Miasma. After everyone heads home, Lilac reveals her true colors to Acacia, telling him that she found him annoying since the start and telling him to stay out of her way. After going to another meeting, Lilac finds out that Acacia actually has another personality called Vachellia who is far more irritable and sadistic than his other personality. One of the other girls explains that it's his way of coping from trauma, but Lilac experiences first hand just how different Vachellia is compared to Acacia. After being annoyed that she wasn't able to fight the monster, she spots Acacia and Hyacinth walking home in the same direction and decides to tail them. After reaching their house, Lilac talks to Vachellia, and he talks about how Hyacinth has been isolating him from the rest of the party, not wanting him to go out. Lilac finds out that Vachellia actually has a perfume bottle (the item used to seal Miasma) implanted in his head and that Hyacinth even planned to use him to seal off Miasma if things got bad enough. With that, Lilac pretends to befriend Vachellia, telling him that she will be his friend.

In the next chapter, Vachellia and Lilac are fighting together, but Lilac notices that something is off with him. Vachellia proudly proclaims that he is killing the Weeds for Lilac's sake before eventually being interrupted by a Shade Beacon, who steals their kill. Vachellia tries to go after Lilac but she ultimately stops him, with him getting nearly jealous when he believes its because Lilac wants to be the shade beacon's friend. She seems to have fun messing around with him. At a cafe, Lilac runs into the shade beacon again and goes straight up to talk and out him. Vachellia interrupts dragging Lilac back onto the street, getting really angry and jealous at the notion that Lilac might want to be his friend, something that Lilac immediately shuts down. Vachellia seems happy that Lilac is his only friend, something that Lilac finds amusing and pathetic. Lilac later ends up fighting alongside another member, Licorice and it's revealed that Lilac never really wanted to be a peacemaker, only to get the baton. While fighting and sealing off the miasma, a shade beacon comes to steal the bottle, angering Lilac. Vachellia ends up finding the two and gets jealous that she's hanging out with Licorice, though once Licorice leaves, Lilac assures him that she'd rather spend time with him.

Vachellia ends up meeting Lilac at her house, much to her annoyance. Lilac thinks about how fun it was to mess with him at first, but finds him annoying as he keeps on showing up at places while she wants to do things herself. She tries to distance herself by talking to one of the other teammates, Tomato, getting him to hang out with the others. Lilac mistakes Vachellia for Acacia, though he reveals that he's only pretending to be Acacia to trick Hyacinth. Lilac drops the facade of being Vachellia's friend, even mocking him for believing that she was serious. After leaving him downtrodden, Lilac seems happy to have finally gotten rid of him. While fighting some Miasma, Lilac again gets jumped by Vachellia, though with a noticeably longer hair and a different temperament. It seems that he's able to control the miasma and then declares his love for her. She is saved by the Shadow Beacon, which angers Vachellia. When Lilac sides with the Shadow Beacon, Vachellia is distraught, asking why she'd chose the Shadow Beacon over him. The shadow beacon introduces himself as Zephyranthes and is able to knock out and take Vachellia's baton, which allows the Miasma to disperse. She ends up calling Hyacinth afterwards to deal with the mess.

We see a bit more about Lilac's backstory. We see that in middle school she was pretty popular and got along with a girl named Lavender. The two of them were inseparable, until Lavender back stabbed her by blaming her for pressuring her into stealing. In anger, she attempts to stab Lavender with scissors but ultimately simply frames her for trying to hurt Lilac. This caused Lavender to become isolated, which greatly amused Lilac, until she was able to leave that life behind and interact with the Peace Keepers.

While fighting the Miasma, Lilac interacts with Zephyranthes. She reveals herself to not be a Shadow Beacon, leading to him nearly destroying her baton. She's able to distract him by releasing the Weed that she just captured, allowing her to escape. After going home, she gets a call from one of the members, who is worried about Hyacinth as she's not responding to anyone's calls. The group gathers to her apartment, only to find her dead and in her own blood. She laughs having seen the peace keeper's expressions much to everyone else's shock and horror. She later ends up stalking Zephyranthes at the library and eventually getting him to talk to each other. After a chat, she comes back to Hyacinth's place to clean up the body and apartment.

She gets a call from the other peacekeepers, however, shuns them as she reveals she never wanted to be friends with them anyways. Still, they try to befriend her anyways, something that sticks in her mind later that night. At school, Lilac gets a confession from someone, though she turns it down with disgust. Vachellia ends up finding her afterwards, and she runs, only to be caught later. Afraid that he would break her baton, she pleads with him telling him that she will be his friend forever if he just lets her go. The story ends with Vachellia and Lilac dying together (at least from my interpretation).

As I said before in my Lifeline recommendation, I am a huge fan of main characters that are evil or downright bad. since it usually allows the yandere character to be more unique as the main character are not standard neutral or good and it allows them to often be the one who manipulates or otherwise cause problems for the yandere. Liliac is a pretty horrible person, pretending to be friends with Vachellia only to throw him away when he gets annoying, only caring about being a peackeeper so she can keep the baton and generally faking her personality to mask her more cynical side, which makes a great protagonist, especially since she's the one that manipulates Vachellia into becoming a yandere in the first place. The world of Magical Package Liliac mostly follows pretty standard magical girl tropes, having a device that transforms girls into magical girls, having to seal and fight monsters and having an enemy team to fight against. It seems to dip it's toes into darker tones like Madoka Magica, though it doesn't go too deeply into them, and borrows ideas like sealing miasma into perfume bottles similar to how Madoka's world seals witches with the charms they carry. In this case though, we see that Miasma can corrupt a person if pushed hard enough, leading to death and destruction to those around it. I'd say it's pretty basic for a magical girl world, but it does serve its purpose for the story.

Vanchellia as a character is pretty interesting one as he is technically an alter (as it's called in DID spaces) and is manipulated into becoming a yandere. The representation of Vanchellia does have a bit of an iffy tone to it, because while he isn't straight up evil per say, he does have a lot of traits associated with essentially the "evil personality" that we've seen in media, like being very sadistic in fighting monsters compared to Acacia and eventually becoming a yandere in the end. We also barely get to see Acacia at all except in the first couple of chapters, with Vachellia being the dominant personality and even pretending to be Acacia at some point as well. Still, I did like his conflict with Hyacinth though, as Hyacinth basically saw him as a liability, forcing him to be isolated as to not hurt others, eventually leading to her death later on when Lilac ends up throwing him away. Speaking of Lilac, I do feel sympathetic towards Vancehllia because while he obviously became extremely jealous and violent towards those others who got near Liliac, he was in a pretty vulnerable situation where he basically was seen as not even human by others and even disposable considering the bottle lodged in his head, so obviously he would try to cling onto the first person who wanted to be his friend. As a yandere, as stated before he becomes increasingly jealous and angry towards pretty much anyone that is near Liliac, and starts to be overly clingy towards Lilac as well, following her around pretty much everywhere. He ends up killing Hyacinth as well, leaving obsessive notes everywhere relating to Lilac, implying that because Lilac "respected" Hyacinth, Vachellia saw this as a challenge and killed her. When Lilac finally shuts him down, he becomes more obsessed with her, attempting to attack her over and over again until he can corner her and eventually probably die with her. I think one of the things I was a bit sad about is how abruptly it ends, as we don't really get to explore much about the Shadow Beacons, (specifically Zephyranthes) and why they've been destroying the Peacekeeper's wands. I do like the build up of Vachellia becoming a yandere and getting infected by Miasma and watching Lilac eventually deal with the consequences of her actions, however I wish perhaps it was longer. We also barely get to see Acacia at all, which kind of sucks because I think it would have been cool to see what his reaction is to all of the things that Vachellia was doing with Lilac and how he felt about it.

Overall, I do like this story, though I think personally I still like Lifeline better. This ones does have a good arc with it's evil main character that I still very much enjoy. If you enjoy darker magical girl media, evil mcs and yanderes, then please give this a try.

#Magical Girl Lilac #male yandere #yandere #yandere boy #recommendations #completed #webcomic

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

Was watching a video on the portrayal of stuttering in Blue Eye Samurai and how the only time Takayoshi's stutter is mocked outright is by Fowler, but there's a subtextual mockery in the dinner scene where his mother lies to his wife right in front of him because he can't speak to correct her. I took that line of questioning and I ran with it and I realized that's part of what makes Fowler such a despicable and effective villain for the narrative: the monstrosity he symbolizes is everywhere, he's just the one that does it openly.

He kills his own children? Ringo's father tried the same as a child, leaving his son in the forest for being disabled, and Mizu's guardian left her to die. He rapes women? Akemi's father tells her that either she will marry and bear sons for the man of his choosing, or he'll sell her to him anyway. He hurts women for sexual pleasure? "If you killed every man I've met who couldn't come til someone bled, you'd wear your blade to a stump". Hell, he even lampshades the whole thing when he makes fun of the delegates for being polite while plotting the death of thousands in a violent coup.

The reason Abijah works so well isn't that he's uniquely awful. It's that nearly everything he does has a more "socially acceptable" counterpart in the narrative. He's a horrible person, but he's a horrible person who doesn't hide it under pseudo-logic and pretty words, and so he exposes the monstrosity of everyone else.

#blue eye samurai #abijah fowler

[shitswiftiessay]

Taylor calling people “vipers” and “judgmental creeps” for being concerned about her boyfriend promoting ghetto gaggers, on the same album in which she fantasizes about going back to the 1830s and shames her ex partner for “ruining” their relationship with his depression is really funny actually. Because she’s really finally shown us what a despicable fucking person she is, and she’s absolutely shameless about it.

If you want proof that she’s a horrible person who doesn’t think about ANYONE other than HERSELF, this album is the proof. She made Joe’s depression all about the lack of attention she was getting and talked about fantasising with another man. She has ZERO empathy for the black women who were hurt with the torture porn that Matty openly admits to watching, it’s all about Taylor and her need to act like a bratty, petulant teenager at 34 with an “us against the world” mentality because she doesn’t feel free to love her little racist piece of shit boyfriend as much as she wants to. And she calls him her “tattooed golden retriever” which is just fucking laughable.

And it’s not just the fact that he admitted to jerking off to racist torture p*rn, it’s the antisemitism, the nazi salutes on stage, the mocking asian accents, and anyone who criticised matty for it is OBVIOUSLY just out to hurt taylor and ruin her ability to be happy!!! 😤

#anti taylor swift #taylor swift is a narcissist #taylor swift is a horrible person

[atopvisenyashill]

They took my clothes from me. I wore a gown of ivory lace, with freshwater pearls on the bodice, but the septas laid their hands on me and stripped me to the skin. My cousins too. Megga sent one septa crashing into the candles and set her robe afire. I fear for Alla, though. She went as white as milk, too frightened even to cry.

My cousins? Alla and Megga are hardly more than children. Your Grace, this . . . this is obscene. Will you take us out of here?

i dont have anything to say about this besides it’s horrifying, it’s horrible and despicable that a sixteen year old teenager has been left in the position of “adult” and is more worried about her cousins because alla is only thirteen. it’s sooooo much and then there’s MORE because while cersei is gloating over what she sees as a win, she has no idea that these dudes also see her as nothing but a slut and an idiot just like every other woman, and all this torture she’s laughing over is about to be turned into her and she can’t stop it because she got rid of the ability to stop it so margaery would have bo way out. and now neither does cersei. like yeah she’s got her evil advisor and bestie qyburn who is going to get her out of this but god, cersei margaery alla elinor megga just get completely humiliated by all the men around them and it’s not only legal, they all think these women deserve it for *vague mumbling*

Margaery stared at her, then pulled her hand away. "Is that a jape? Boros is a craven, Meryn is old and slow, your brother is maimed, the other two are off in Dorne, and Osmund is a bloody Kettleblack. Loras has two brothers, not six. If there's to be a trial by battle, I want Garlan as my champion.”

This is really interesting to me because of course Margaery understands the situation she’s in, for all that everyone throws (deserved) criticism at Mace for pimping his fourteen year old daughter to every baratheon he could get his hands on, it’s clear margaery’s political education was not stifled by her father the way cersei’s was by both tywin and robert. she plays up a sansa-esque sweet innocent maiden taken in and eating up every line thrown at her because she knows it’s the only personality cersei won’t actively try to beat down but once it sinks in that it’s really hopeless, she simply stops trying. this little moment, margaery taken aback at how cersei really does think margaery is a fucjing idiot is the moment i think her mask finally slips and what’s left is a perceptive and bitchy-as-only-a-teenager-can-be girl who is no longer interested in wasting time trying to get cersei to like her. i’m really interested in how their relationship develops in twow before whatever the hell it is that happens happens.

#cersei lannister #margaery tyrell #gender politics in asoiaf #rani liveblogs asoiaf #what’s that sansa post that’s like ‘he understands girlhood perfectly and then u remember he’s a 70 year old man’ #losing my mind over the nuances in gender performance going on here & forgetting george is a man from jersey akskdjdj #aksksks

[bitethedustfools]

SAGAU story idea

Apologies for the wrong lore or information. I don't play it, and I write it based on memories.

In which you, the player, are heavily associated with Celestia (friends? boss and secretary? etc.). You and the (bunch of gods in) Celestia have looked over this world forever. You are close, and you would bicker with them once in a while, but there are ranks between you and them.

With that being said, you know with certainty that Celestia has done many unforgivable things. No, you may be a part of them, but you refused to be one of them.

What you have seen in the game is worse, but not as bad as what Celestia came up with. Why doesn't it show? Well, that's because you interfere and reason with Celestia to tone down their ruthlessness.

Celestia is like the embodiment of a childish king who took the throne and thinks they can do anything, and you are like the minister who's trying to make the situation less worse.

The day you became a very responsible person is when the Archon war began. It was at this point where you realized you questioned why did you became friends with them.

For safety's sake and to improve the Celestia image (you failed this part hard), you didn't use any names but preferred to be seen and called as Celestia, as disgusting as it is.

When Khaenriah did something that absolutely got on Celestia's nerve, they began to plan the most horrible plan of all. That plan was to wipe out everything and restart. A failure, they said, and you, as the most reasonable of all, decided to smack some brain cells into them.

And thus, Khaenriah got destroyed, and the people turned into monsters and so on. Some few gods also lost their lives, and other troubling things began to pop up. But hey, you prevented the destruction of the entire world, and that's something.

The Electro Archon and her sibling would cease to exist, but you tweak the string of fate, and only one of them died. Sure, the nation will be a bit tense in the future because of the newly made Archon, but don't worry, you've got a plan for this, but that's for later.

The Geo Archon also lost someone just as planned otherwise. If both survived, something even more horrible would greet them if they stayed there, and you need certain people in certain areas to keep the plan in motion, so the God of Dust has to go.

Venti wasn't supposed to be an Anemo Archon, but he did because you planned it! if the rebels, the God of Storm and the God of North Wind keep doing that, everyone will be fcked. Game over. You placed the pieces carefully, and that's how Venti's background came to be.

Dendro Archon sacrificed herself to save her people from the forbidden knowledge that is spreading and same goes for her friends. This is the acceptable route because, in the beginning, Celestia wanted them to be straight up deceased with no disease. But you are very good at negotiating, and this is how it came to be.

For creating a new species of human, the Hydro Archon were prisoned, assumed control again and then died. She get replaced but that doesn't mean the new species of human would get spared from the sin. Celestia is just that sadistic and cruel. You were a bit late to the game, but you got a plan! You knew how to avert killing thousands of people. Unfortunately, at the cost of a certain new Archon's life. Again. Damn.

You have done so many things, all for the greater good. Celestia is despicable for wanting to destroy everything, but no doubt you are more despicable after all; you planned every tragedy just so Celestia don't act on their whim.

You could have stopped Celestia, but you are the smart one. You deduced that if you continue to disobey and disregard their orders and opinions, Celestia would have ditched you and destroyed everything. You love this world enough you couldn't bear to see it get destroyed.

Obviously, no one knows this. No one knows you planned the most intricate plan with the most complicated results, but when they do, it's mostly half true. No doubt that some had assumed you are the cause of the tragedy, which isn't wrong, but compared to the original order by Celestia, this is by far, less tragic.

What you failed to see is that the unknown god has dragged a certain pair of twins into this mess, and now you have to think even harder and smarter on how they are going to affect Teyvat and the future to come.

This is your previous life. Your recent life was a normal person and had a hobby for gaming. Your new life started when you woke up in Genshin Impact.

The new you doesn't know the past you, but you know the story unfolding before your eyes when you played the game as the traveler.

How does the story go when you begin your journey?

-

I know things don't line up, but then again, it's just an idea, and I'm tired.

#sagau x reader #genshin impact sagau #sagau #genshin sagau #writing prompt #trying to avoid red flag #failed miserably #you got no choice tho #genshin impact

[satantica]

Omg omg I love your writing. May i please order a cup of preferably tendou, ushijma or tsuki with an s/o who randomly decides to ask them what their bodycount is and then gets upset when it’s a lot ;( like their s/o asks them about their past hookups and they’re like 12 or something and their s/o gets all pouty and teary eyed cause they don’t like the thought of someone else touching them in an intimate manner. SORRY IF THIS IS TOO DETAILED OML

thank you so much for this request!<3 because it was actually a challenge to write something like this about the characters who act beyond our canon expectations. love that!

characters: ushijima wakatoshi, tendou satori

ushijima wakatoshi

• actually it was absolutely reasonable for you to be sure that you are wakatoshi’s first

• so when you ask him about his bodycount you are utterly shocked to hear ushijima after some thinking say “ten”

• initially you think that’s a joke. apparently, it can’t be that much. it was your cute, innocent toshi after all. the one that doesn’t talk much, the one that doesn’t get along with people easily, the one that doesn’t show his affectionate and caring side to everyone

• you can’t help it but start thinking about every time some girl got flirty and over the line with your toshi. how she 'accidentally' touched his arm, playfully called out his name and then mischievously pulled the hem of his shirt

• you can feel the disgust filling up your body as the imaginary girl and ushijima get too intimate in your thoughts. then they get to the point that you were hesitating to even think about in your relationship

• you try to make these despicable thoughts go away. but it only gets worse and worse and more detailed. you don’t even notice how your eyes become full of tears

• when wakatoshi sees your confusion and bewilderment he starts to explain in the calm voice. but as soon as he catches your eyes be weirdly shining with tears he rushes towards you and murmurs in the most gentle way possible

• it’s odd to hear such a deep voice like toshi’s be sweet and hoarse. he was always saying that he’s not very good with the right words. but now when you are clearly not able to hear him, you sense that he’s saying the most precious things just to reach you

• as you start to wipe your face intensely, you feel his big hands carefully take your face. “angel.” you meet his golden brown eyes looking right into yours softly. he caresses your hair mindlessly as if trying to lull you to sleep. and that actually comforts you.

• you’re still crying, though. not as much as earlier but more like a defensive reflex. and this is when toshi continues to speak. “i’ve never had feelings for any of them. not the kind i have for you.”

• you can tell by the his heavy look that this is the very truth. and you really want to believe that. but when he embraces you, you feel a steady beat of his heart. that’s the moment when the horrible image in your head is withdrawn.

tendou satori

• tendou’s personality is the brightest thing on this planet and there can be no dispute. so you haven’t really thought that about him having sex with someone. ever. well, actually, maybe one or two times

• so when he says “about thirteen” you can’t manage to keep your face straight and emotionless. you try to come back to your senses and act more careless but your whole body doesn’t really respond

• you start convincing yourself that this shouldn’t be a surprise. after all, it’s okay for such a lovely person like tendou to be desirable. however this thought doesn’t help much

• you’ve always thought that only you shared this special connection. and maybe it is the truth. but thinking about someone else wanting satori and him not resisting isn’t the most reassuring argument. you don’t hold back and let the tears fall right on the table where you were sitting.

• satori’s reaction is instantaneous. he’s lurching towards you swiftly and his hands move rapidly all over your body. “sweetheart, hey. hey, hey, hey, hey.” tendou is anxiously searching for a response from you. but that just makes you cry harder

• «love, i didn’t want to make you… i just didn’t think that… i’m sorry, i…” tendou tries to find the right words and panics more at your every sob. but when he finally figures it out

• you feel his lips pressed against yours and it makes your mind blurry. you don’t really remember now what you were so upset about. all you can think now is that how you want more of that kiss. of tendou

• but suddenly the rather pleasure is interrupted. “i’m sorry, princess. i didn’t mean to upset you, i really love you and…” you don’t wait for him to end the sentence and passionately kiss him again. who cares about other girl, when you have satori’s lips next to yours. right now.

#haikyu!! #haikyuu!! #haikyu x reader #haikyuu #wakatoshi ushijima #hq wakatoshi #haikyuu wakatoshi #wakatoshi x reader #ushijima wakatoshi #haikyuu ushijima #ushijima x reader #hq ushijima #tendou satori #tendou x reader #haikyuu tendou #satori tendou #satori tendō #satori tendo x reader

[somewhereincairparavel]

An in depth analysis on Jiper - Why it was much more toxic than we realize.

okay. I know Calypso is known for her horrible treatment of leo, but hear me out, Jason grace was in a toxic relationship without even realizing it. I've recently reread Hoo, and I can't believe that it only just struck me how much of a red flag Piper was in the relationship. I made a whole analysis on this, and I'm going to put it here.

If you are a fan of jiper or Piper Mclean in general, then, this might be triggering for you to read, so I recommend you not to. You can agree to disagree with my analysis, just be respectful about it. I don't dislike Piper, I just dislike the way she is written, so no harm intended on her character.

so let's begin.

♦ She obsesses over him for a long time and then complains that he doesn't give her attention, like mf, he's trying to save the world here. She compares their relationship to percabeth wishing jason wasn't so serious all the time, when she was the one who claimed she liked his rule following nature and chose to date him. Before she got him, she complained that he would never like her, after she got him, she complained that he is too uptight.

Like, him being a rule follower is a part of his personality, take it, or leave it. She really doesn't like him for who he is and seemed very intent on wanting to change his morals. Like wanting his to trash the rules for her, she puts unrealistic expectations on him and gets disappointed when he doesn't meet them.

This highly contrasts Jason's treatment of her, when she vocalises her jealousy of Reyna being so "pretty, powerful and Roman" and jason says that he only wants Piper to be Piper, not anything else. Jason knew better than anyone else what is was like to pretend to be someone he's not.

♦she claimed jason as some kind of prize to drew, I physically cringed when the other Aphrodite kids cheered for her when she when she said jason was her boyfriend and he just didn't know it. Like. Jason said it himself, to Hera, "I belong to no one". If only he'd heard what she said about him behind his back lol.

♦She guilt tripped him so hard till the point he promised her that he would never go to camp Jupiter unless she came along, that's like the biggest red flag ever… Camp Jupiter was like his only home, his sister is busy, his mom is dead, and he wasn't even supposed to go there?

♦she got jealous of Reyna, annabeth and Thalia without any context, simply because they are acquainted with him in some way. Even after all the war chaos, jason reassured her patiently like twice that he only had eyes for her. She got jealous when he spoke about camp Jupiter, is he not allowed to talk about his home, the place he's grown up in for 12 years? She controlled jason like a puppet and took advantage of the fact that jason is very passive and had abandonment issues. If you read into their dynamic, Jason was in an unhealthy relationship without even realising it, because he clung on to anyone who gave him affection, it's honestly sad. He hadn't thought that anything was wrong in their dynamic because of his sheltered upbringing in camp Jupiter and lack of experience in love. His sister was lost for years, his dad is a douche, his mom is dead, so you really cannot blame him for not wanting to leave Piper.

♦ Also, in TOA, she was absolutely despicable, We see that jason is still very confused about why she broke up with him, and didn't properly understand why she dumped him bc he thought that they were still going strong, so we can get the hint that piper never exactly gave him a proper reason or anything and just ended it abruptly. Despite all this, he still respected her choice without any resentment against her, and chose to die so she could have more time with her dad. Fucking thoughtful and selfless.

♦ She doesn't voice out her concerns on their relationship to jason. Only the jealousy thing, but other than that she never seemed to tell jason about her issues she has with their dynamic, jason is more of a blunt kinda guy, so her lack of proper communication really hinders their dynamic in many ways, this is clearly seen in the fact that jason was deluded into thinking that their relationship was going great.

♦ She was also quite cold about their breakup, when Grover asked her why, she said stuff like "you thought what? That we'd be together forever like Percy and annabeth?" Like that's so cold and for what reason?? She ended stuff with him, and was acting like she got dumped.

[Take this single paragraph below with a grain of salt, since this one can only be derived out of assumptions, since it wasnt really confirmed properly, as there seemed to be a LOT going on]

♦ coach hedge and mellie thought he dumped her, so it can be implied that she might have dramatized the break up, if that is true, then she practically victimized herself in front of them. She drew so much attention to herself after the breakup, but then gets all cold when people ask her about it. Leading everyone to dislike jason for the breakup. If she did indeed tell mellie and hedge an aggravated version of their break up, then you can't tell me she did all that "unintentionally". I may sound harsh here but it seemed to me that she just wanted sympathy and attention, it's not all surprising either, considering how she chopped her hair off so that her dad can pay attention to her. So we can see a pattern here, she does go to great lengths to gain everyone's sympathy. I honestly don't know if she does it subconsciously or not. But take this paragraph with a grain of salt, since we dont actually know what she told hedge and mellie, so only strong assumptions can be made.

♦ Mellie treated jason which such hostility that even self absorbed Apollo could take the time to notice it. Jason asked apollo if piper told him that he dumped her or something, so even jason sensed that people were blaming him. he didn't even complain about it either. on the contrary, he literally said it was okay if mellie blamed him and that it was better that way.

”One more thing,” I blurted out. “About Piper. It’s just…you seem like such a good power couple. Did you really—did you break up with her to make it easier for her to leave LA?” Jason stared at me with those azure eyes. “Did she tell you that?” “No,” I admitted. “But Mellie seemed, ah, upset with you.”Jason considered. “I’m okay with Mellie blaming me. It’s probably better.”“Do you mean it’s not true?” In Jason’s eyes, I saw just a hint of desolation—like wildfire smoke momentarily obliterating a blue sky. I remembered Medea’s words: The truth was enough to break Jason Grace.“Piper ended it,” he said quietly. “That was months ago, way before the Burning Maze. Now come on. Let’s go find Caligula.” ‘ ~The Burning Maze, Chapter 23 Last Page

♦ Don't even get me started on how she found someone else weeks after her ex boyfriend whom she was with for a year died for HER. I'm sorry, but I couldn't even think of dating someone else for a long time if I were in her position. It's canon that literally even annabeth cried herself sick when she heard about his death and they weren't even close, and Percy couldn't even mention jason without breaking down, Percy and jason barely knew much about eachother. Heck, even hera, a literal goddess who only saw jason as a pawn, started sobbing at his death. So compared to those, piper literally had the reaction of a stale bread. I'd expected her to react in a similar way to nico, just genuine devastation and anger. Now she is using someone else as a rebound when she isn't even emotionally healed?

Connecting all of these points, it's such a shame how jason got taken advantage of for his passive nature. It dawned on me how jason was SO trapped in the relationship with only Piper as the centre of his world. I know Piper was just a teenager herself, but that doesn't make me feel any better about her treatment of him tbh, she's also seemed to have lots of internal misogyny, bringing down the other girls for ogling at jason as if she weren't the one who did the same like 5 minutes ago. Any thoughts? Rick really fumbled the bag with Piper imo, especially in the trials of Apollo.

#pjo #pjo hoo toa #pjo hoo #pjo toa #pjo fandom #pjo series #jason grace #piper mclean #percy jackson #annabeth chase #Don't come at me y'all #I don't hate Piper #Im merely laying out the stuff she's done and said in the books that really struck me off as a red flag

[xjulixred45x]

I need to ask from morbid curiosity mostly. I have heard of diabolic lovers mostly from top 10 unfortunately not good ones. What are your unadulterated thoughts on the brothers?

I have talked individually of Subaru and Reiji, and there is a post where i Say which Diaboy i HATE the most, but i Guess is therapeutic talk shit about them all :)

in order from oldest to youngest, not in order from worst to """best"""

Carla to me is practically a P3d0, and it's worse if we consider that canonically she likes Yui to call her "Onichan"🤮 and he's such a son of a bitch, he tortured her SO MUCH (along with Shin) that it made her think about COMMITTING SUICIDE. a scourge

Shin is the definition of Carla's lapdog, and since he has the power he feels comfortable mistreating everyone (but if they were stronger? He comes out with his tail between his legs) GOD THE SCENE WHERE HE MAKES YUI LICK HIS OWN BOOTS. just as bad as his brother. Only he's not a fetishist.

Shu just seems boring and bland to me, I'm sorry I can't say much about a character who literally does NOTHING. Her background is fine, but I think she was very wasted on a character in a bad story.

Reiji IS A SON OF A BITCH, he not only decided to kill his brother's friend BUT THE ENTIRE VILLAGE, OUT OF JEALOUSY, and on top of that kill his mother who wasn't even abusive (compared to the other two, she was quite loving). honestly an idiot.

Ayato is unbearable, I just can't stand him, he acts like a little child. apart from the fact that he is the one who objectifies Yui the most and who insults her the most along with Kou. without forgetting that he is considered the "hero" of the franchise😑

Kanato is all of the above combined in an amorphous and delusional mass in believing that he is the victim and that he is right in everything, being also a necrophiliac and cannibal, there is no need for me to say more.

Laito is, sadly, one of the best written in the entire franchise but at the same time he is a FIRST DAMN, he was the first to cause Yui's suicidal ideas, apart from the fact that HE IS a sex offender who should stay away from people .

Subaru is a hothead who gives me certain Incel vibes, he believes that all women are equal and that gives him the right to treat everyone like shit and be physically violent. Even if he has the most "justified" trauma next to Laito, it doesn't make him any less of a horrible person.

Ruki is simply a control freak who, since he is now a vampire, believes he is above everyone else and is honestly a second Reiji but with a cheap background. but he has my eternal hatred for the cat.

Yuma just doesn't catch my attention beyond his design and being just as aggressive as Subaru, he has literally beaten Yui to death in almost all of her endings. I don't like.

Kou is INSUFFERABLE and eager, not only for being so materialistic but for the way he messes with Yui's self-esteem makes my heart bleed.

Azusa is a MANIPULATOR, no matter who it hurts, he literally Guilt Trips Yui to make her hurt him! and then he cuts her! He might be the "Best" but he is still trash.

Kino is similar to Kanato in that he is spoiled and a horrible being at the same time, he has no consideration for those other than him and that makes him DESPICABLE ON HIS ROUTE, he literally killed a child in front of Yui so that he would not try to escape . it's bullshit.

Overall, I think that would be it. They're all trash, but different trash.

____

en orden de mayor a menor, no en orden de peor a """mejor"""

Carla para mi es prácticamente un P3d0, y es peor si consideramos que canónicamente le gusta que Yui le llame "Onichan"🤮 y es tan hijo de puta, la torturo TANTO(junto a Shin) que le hizo pensar en SUICIDARSE. una lacra.

Shin es la definición de perro faldero de Carla, y como tiene el poder se siente comodo con maltratar a todos(pero si fueran mas fuertes? el sale con la cola entre las patas)DIOS LA ESCENA EN LA QUE HACE QUE YUI LE LAMA LAS BOTAS. igual de malo que su hermano. solo que no es un fetichista.

Shu simplemente se me hace aburrido y soso, lo siento no puedo decir mucho de un personaje que literal no hace NADA. su trasfondo esta bien, pero creo que fue muy desaprovechada en un personaje en una mala historia.

Reiji ES UN HIJO DE PERRA, no solo decidio matar al amigo de su hermano SINO A TODA LA VILLA, Por CELOS, y encima de eso matar a su madre que nisiquiera era abusiva(en comparación a las otras dos, era bastante amorosa). sinceramente un imbécil.

Ayato es insoportable, simplemente no me lo puedo aguantar, actua como un niño pequeño. aparte de que es quien mas cosifica a Yui y de los que mas la insulta junto a Kou. sin olvidar que es considerado el "héroe" de la franquisia😑

Kanato es todos los anteriores combinados en una masa amorfa y delirante en creer que es la víctima y que tiene la razon en todo, siendo también un necrofilico y canibal, no hace falta que diga mas.

Laito es, tristemente, uno de los mejor escritos de toda la franquicia pero que al musmo tiempo es un MALDITO DE PRIMERA, fue el primero en causar las ideas suicidas de Yui, aparte de que ES un delincuente sexual que deberia manterse lejos de las personas.

Subaru es un hiracundo que me da ciertas vibras de Incel, cree que todas las mujeres son iguales y que eso le da el derecho a tratar como la mierda a todos y ser físicamente violento. aun si tiene el trauma mas "justificado" junto a Laito, no le hace menos de una persona horrible.

Ruki simplemente es un maniático del control que como ahora es un vampiro cree estar por arriba de los demas y sinceramente es un segundo Reiji pero con trasfondo barato. pero tiene mi odio eterno por lo del gato.

Yuma simplemente no me llama la atención mas alla de su diseño y ser igual de agresivo que Subaru, literalmente ha matado a Yui en casi todos sus finales a golpes. no me gusta.

Kou es INSUFRIBLE y con ganas, no solo por ser tan materialista sino por la forma ej la que se mete con el autoestima de Yui hace que me sangre el corazón.

Azusa es un MANIPULADOR, le duela a quien le duela, el literalmente le hace Guilt Triping a Yui para que lo lastime! y encima después la corta el!

Kino es similar a Kanato con lo de ser un mimado y un horrible ser al mismo tiempo, no tiene consideración por quienes no sean el y eso lo hace alguien DESPRECIABLE EN SU RUTA, literalmente mato a un niño enfrente de Yui para que no intentara escapar. es una mierda.

en general, creo que eso sería todo. Todos son basura, pero diferente basura.

#diabolik lovers

[least-carpet]

I do find all these posts where people claim that JC is such a horrible person and that no one in Yungmeng can stand his scary self, seem to forget that if JC was that terrible it’d be pretty easy to just leave him without much fuss? Like none of his disciples are required to stay by like family bonds or anything. People pledged to follow him into war, but I doubt people would stay after that if he wasn’t being at least a decent leader. Hell, it’d probably have been pretty easy to kill him without the other sects questioning too much if he truly was that despicable a person. The other sects have the mess of family at least partially holding them together, but the Wen’s took care of that for JC!

Yeah, it's definitely taken to an extreme that doesn't make a lot of logical sense. If he was a violent despot, he wouldn't have lasted very long; he doesn't have any of the advantages of Wen Ruohan (money, resources, a lot of experience, a large sect with many powerful members, an extended family, etc.), who they put down anyway.

Based on the survival and growth of the Jiang sect, he has to be an unusually effective sect leader—he takes the remains of a massacred sect and builds it back into a great sect within 13-15 years (depending on the adaptation). You can't do that without any interpersonal skills. He's not soft and cuddly and approachable, of course, because that is also not how you achieve that particular outcome from his starting point. He is the correct degree of scary to outsiders to prevent people from trying him, but—notably—not so unpredictably scary that people feel like they need to take action against him (see: Wei Wuxian and his corpse army).

We really get very little of the new Jiang sect, though, just that there has been significant growth, made up of recruits that had to come from somewhere. This makes sense, given Wei Wuxian's withdrawal from the sect (and desperate avoidance of Jiang Cheng), but it means that there are a lot of gaps to fill in.

#anon asks #jiang cheng #mdzs + #least-carpet thoughts

[xielianlover2]

Okay. I need to talk about Xie Lian. This is gonna be a bit rambly, jumbled, and unedited because I am kinda sleep-deprived right now.

Out of every fictional character I’ve read about… Xie Lian stands out as possessing the most remarkable mental fortitude and resilience I’ve ever seen. He’s such a brave and stubborn man. He’s, well… a diamond in the rough. 

I always thought him to be really mature for his age in the flashbacks. He was what, only around 16-17? And then after he descended down to save his kingdom, he was around the mental age of 20. He was barely an adult. Yet he had his whole kingdom’s fate on his shoulders, and the way he was treated was beyond horrible. 

That’s the problem with getting assigned the role of a leader… a general even. The number of deaths, their successes, their losses all fall upon the one who had the most status, most importance. So many people blamed Xie Lian for the fall on Xianle, but really, none of that was on him. Xianle was gonna fall either way due to all the politics and strife. But my goodness. To put all that blame on a child??? It’s so despicable. 

It made me terribly sad to see Xie Lian blame himself for what happened to Xianle and his people, when they were the ones who put him on a pedestal and did nothing to help ease his burdens. I think Xie Lian has natural charisma and could be a good leader, however he does not have the heart for it. He cares too much. He’s the type who wants to save everyone. He doesn’t like or want to see people suffer, even those considered his enemies. 

Xie Lian suffers a lot. He goes through so much, goes to unimaginable suffering constantly for 800 years. However, the core message of the series is that Xie Lian, as an individual, has the power to decide his own fate. He has the power to decide to remain pure at heart in the face of immeasurable suffering and to not give into Bai Wuxiang’s manipulations.  

His suffering can’t even be put into words. To be blamed for a whole kingdom dying. To blame himself for the horrifying Human-Face disease. Then he was banished and cursed and hunted by the Yong’an’s people. He became extremely depressed on top of trying to survive and take care of his parents each day. Mu Qing helped a lot, but he too eventually left. He resorted to stealing, which went completely against his morals. He was cornered by 33 Heavenly Officials, who humiliated and bullied him, Mu Qing being one of the people involved as well. All the while being haunted bu Bai Wuxiang, who’s truly a sadistic, unredeemable monster. Then he was brutally stabbed fatally hundreds of times in the most horrific way possible and the recovery-time was just two months of pain with the monster who made it all happen keeping him for company. Then Feng Xin left because Xie Lian changed too much, was too hurt and numb and lashed out. 

Then his parents left him too in a way. And Xie Lian probably blames himself for that. So at that point, Xie Lian just craved death. But he couldn’t even die because of the cursed shackle. 

But still. Still. Even after going after Lang Ying and having Wu Ming burn down the palace and could release the Human-Face disease all over the Yong’an kingdom.

He still chose to pin himself on the ground outside with the same sword that killed him hundreds of times… and waited for three whole days for one, just one person, one samaritan to help him. He still had a dredge of hope in humanity. In people. Because in the end, Xie Lian is an empathetic and kind person. He believes and has hope in people- because he is a pure-hearted person himself, and has to believe there are other people like him out there. Because he can’t be the only one. (He’s not, but a person like him is one out of millions.)

And deep inside he starts to believe Bai Wuxiang’s words when he come on the third day to convince him that this test/social experiment he was doing was pointless. That it is all so hopeless, and these people aren’t worth living, not after how much Xie Lian suffered at their hands. 

But all it took was one person. He was waiting. To be proved wrong. He wanted to be proved wrong, even after everything. That truly… I don’t have words for how amazing that is. 

And then. Even after 800 years of having literally nothing. 800 years of loneliness, suffering, and depression. Being nailed through the heart and buried alive for an undetermined time. Just so he could save more people again. He still remained the same. So pure of heart. So sweet and kind. He even asked for his second shackle to take away his luck so other people more “deserving” than him can take it. 

He still has his problems. His mental health is terrible. He’s very depressed. He chose to stay in a coffin for what could be a hundred years because of self-flagellation probably.

He has no self-esteem, except he’s so interestingly contradictory. He loathes himself, but he also believes he’s completely right. If Xie Lian had to do everything over again, I have no doubt he would do the same thing, except the second-time, maybe blame himself less, because he knows deep down what he is doing is right. He has a simple, but strict moral code. All he wants to do is the right thing. That means saving the common people. Interfere and help if he sees someone suffering. If he can save one person, he will save one person. If he can save a hundred people, he will save a hundred people. 

What a stubborn, beautiful person. 

Book 8: “I won’t! I won’t I won’t change!”… He’s been pent up for far too long. It was as though he’d been waiting for a chance like this all these years, and tears rolled as he screamed. “I won’t change! Even if it’s painful, even if I die, I won’t change, I will never change!”

And he didn’t. He has more than proven that he won’t change even if he died a hundred times. He won’t change even if he died a million times. Even as a young adult, he stood in front of a whole village of people after experiencing what is it like to feel stabbed fatally hundred of times already and was ready to do it all over again willingly. With even more people, even a whole kingdom of people.

Insane does not even begin to cover it. What an extraordinary resilient and compassionate person. 

Xie Lian is truly… something else. Something beyond words. He is also the only type of God I would willingly pray to. 

I understand why Hua Cheng would go to any extent for him. 

#tgcf #xie lian #xie lian rant #my favorite character #tian guan ci fu #heaven official's blessing #mo #mo xiang tong xiu #mxtx #brilliant character #analysis?

[mlove44lh]

Don't hurt yourself

Chapter 8 - Redemption

Masterlist

Previously chapter

Warnings: angst, swearing, mention of loss

Words: 9,247

there are probably some mistakes in the translation. I'm a bit rusty. Soryy

“I had my ups and downs, but I always find the inner strength to pull myself up. I was served lemons, but I made lemonade. My grandma said "Nothing real can be threatened." True love brought salvation back into me. With every tear came redemption and my torturers became my remedy. So we're gonna heal. Me and you.”

Day 0

“I've dreamt about this for so long that I cannot even recall when this idea first took root within me.

I've memorized and held in my mind every tiny detail of this day. I've spent hours envisioning how it would unfold, researching without even having someone in mind to share this dream with.

And yet, even with all the planning and rehearsing every step in my mind for this perfect day, I never anticipated it would be as perfect as this.

The sky is clear and without clouds. And even though the wind is present, it's almost imperceptible on my skin, even with my arms uncovered.

Just for this weather in the middle of November, I could already consider this day a miracle, as evidence of a love that will be eternal and is already perfect.

The veil gently sways around me. I catch a glimpse of my guests through the sheer fabric that surrounds me. I know I have all my family and friends present, and I'm overjoyed that everyone is finally gathered. But I couldn't look at anyone else now except my future husband, who awaits me at the altar with a smile that assures me everything will be okay in our new life together.

And I believe him with a confidence I didn't know existed within me.

His dark eyes shine like never before, a privilege I've never witnessed. I know I grip my father's arm with a certain strength, but I need to feel the tension in my fingertips at least to prove to myself that I am still alive, and this is not a dream.

What reassures me is knowing that, even though I am a dreamer, I could never fantasize about such perfection.

It's as if my entire life has led up to this moment.”

Day 2,520

I waited for something. Something big, like in the movies. Something that would make me change, that would make everything fall into place perfectly so we could leave it all behind.

Even after all that, I waited. After the disrespect, after hearing from the mouth of the most despicable person I've ever known all the horrible things he was capable of doing, after being called scandalous for a behavior I know was unforgivable. Even after all of that, I waited for something.

But that something never came.

Real life is cruel, and these kinds of things don't happen. Sometimes what seems real is indeed real; sometimes the one pulling the trigger is the same person who vowed to protect you. And this kind of betrayal is the worst of all.

I was forced to stop believing in my personal fairy tale when the prince charming drove a knife into my chest.

I was yanked out of my perfect life, and the jolt was so strong that I don't know how I survived.

I look at my ring finger and even though the wedding ring is no longer here, the mark will probably last for a long time, as a visual reminder of all this.

The room is cold, and I feel his gaze on me, which makes the feeling of suffocation even bigger. My gaze remains low; this is the last place I want to be.

The door opens and the silence is cut by the mediator who introduces himself and then sits down between the four of us.

My heart races as I realize what is about to happen.

"We can begin the hearing."

Day 365

"I didn't think it could get any better after we got married, but I've never been so happy to be wrong.

The year has flown by, and all our time together has been precious. Even though Lewis isn't always present, when we're together, it feels like all the challenges of jet-lags and sleepless nights become insignificant.

One of his hands blocks my vision while the other guides me gently by the waist. I feel Lewis laughing behind me, while I become more restless than ever.

The hustle and bustle of London is miles behind us. Lewis drove, which is unusual since I'm usually the one behind the wheel.

I have no idea what I'll find here, so I eagerly await the revelation I've been waiting for hours.

"You know I hate surprises."

"I know. But you're going to like this one." He stops walking but keeps his hand over my eyes.

"It's our first wedding anniversary. It had to be something big."

"Something big?! Lewis, I got you a watch."

"And I loved my new Rolex. And this gift isn't exactly just for you; it's for both of us.”

Lewis removes his hand from my eyes; it takes me a few seconds to adjust to the brightness. The sunlight illuminates a large field surrounded by greenery. The weather is chilly, but the sunlight makes everything seem warm and cozy.

In the midst of two tall trees stands a house with a white-painted facade. Windows adorn the front of the house, along with some flowers planted around the residence.

It's a beautiful, delicate home, large enough for a family to live in, yet not so grand as to be intimidating. It's the perfect refuge for a lifetime, surrounded by the people you love.

I spend a few seconds observing the facade. Lewis steps away from my side and comes in front of me. His smile is huge, and I can tell by his expression that he's waiting for me to say something. But I wouldn't know what to say when I don't even know what I'm looking at now.

"What do you think?" His expectation implicit in his words.

"Lewis...” It can't be this, he can't have just bought a new house for us. “What is this?"

"Wait. I want you to see inside."

His hand fits into mine, and Lewis practically drags me inside. My excitement is so overwhelming that I can hardly think straight now. This is so much more than I expected.

The living room is spacious, and the wooden beams make everything cozier. The furniture is already arranged, and it's as if they've taken every detail from one of my dreams.

"There's a pool outside." He opens the large glass door, revealing more outdoor space. “We can put a big table here for when we have guests.”

His words come out quickly, like an excited child with something new, his eyes shining like two stars as Lewis divides his gaze from me to the entire house. He doesn't take long to return with his hand in mine, leading me to the second floor of the residence.

The master bedroom adopts a lighter tone than the rest of the house, covered in wood. The white paint on the walls makes the room even more spacious. Everything looks clean and new.

"You really did this?" My voice comes out almost in a whisper, and I then feel the urge to cry that hits me. “Lewis, it's perfect.”

"It's ours," he says. His voice is lower compared to minutes ago; the excitement seems to have eased. "I planned over the last year."

"This is... I'm speechless. It's perfect. But how would we do this? I mean, with our work and everything else."

It would be madness to move to the countryside from London at a time like this, even though it feels like a dream.

"I may have anticipated things a little. But we can come in a few years. This could be the house where we'll grow old together and raise our kids. It's the perfect place. We just have to wait a bit, and in the meantime, we can come whenever we want some time alone. 45 minutes from London and no neighbors for a few blocks sounds good, right?"

I can only smile. The idea of having a family by your side and growing old together is still something that can truly move me.

"Yes. It sounds perfect."

He smiles.

"Come on, I want to show you one last thing."

I can barely take in the details of the room before being pulled again.

Lewis opens the door to the room next to ours; unlike the others, this room has no furniture. A large window is situated in the middle of one of the walls, illuminating every corner of the room. I stand still at the door while Lewis finally calms down behind me.

"There are two more rooms like this, still empty." I feel the excitement within me as soon as I realize where Lewis is going. "We'll set them up together, at the right time. For our children. Let's fill this house with happiness, Y/n."

I turn to him, and I feel some tears escaping from my eyes. I couldn't be happier about this surprise.

I press our lips into a kiss that takes a while to break, just so I can speak before returning to him.

"This is all I want.”

"There are no children in common between the couple, and the divorce seems to be agreed upon by both parts. If there is no impasse with the last proposed agreement, I believe there is no need to extend this hearing."

‘Divorce. Agreement. Both parts.’ It looks as bad as it sounds. How could there be agreement on something as painful and profound as this? That's not what happens, I'm not here because I want to, I'm here because I need to be here, I'm here because I owe it to myself and the part that died inside me. I owe this as justice to the girl who believed so much in fairy tales. So no, there is no agreement whatsoever with this situation.

I glance at my lawyer and gesture to speak with him, but it doesn't become necessary. His throat clearing draws the attention of the few people in the room.

The proposed divorce agreement in the document I left with Lewis that morning was denied, as were the other two made by my lawyer. It seems there was some kind of impasse between what Lewis desired and what his representatives sought.

So, I waited for the counterproposal, and when it came, I tried to come to terms with it. There was much more for me than I asked for in the previous agreements, and much less than what I could receive if I had the slightest interest in a legal battle. The perfect agreement between a remorseful man who thinks money buys karma and the lawyers protecting his empire.

But overall, it wasn't that bad, except for one detail.

"There is a disagreement from my client regarding the agreement proposed by Mr. Hamilton."

They look at us with curiosity. Lewis raises his gaze full of doubt, which meets mine.

"And what would that be?" The mediator settles into his chair, leaning towards us.

I could vomit if I had ingested anything. I wish I could just accept anything proposed and leave right away. But I don't want to leave with anything other than what already belongs to me, and I certainly have no interest in something that would keep me tied to Lewis in any way.

I know this is another thing I shouldn't do. Especially if the hypothesis in my mind proves to be true. But I don't care anymore; I have every right to use the shell of a bad person at least once.

I have the right to escape from him.

"My client is no longer interested in the shares related to Mr. Hamilton's companies. As well as the residence in London. We would like to present a counterproposal, where the shares would be transferred back, and the house would be entirely in his name, if there is agreement, of course."

I watch my lawyer pass new papers to the mediator, who carefully examines each one.

I want to disappear from his life in every way possible; I won't heal if I don't distance myself from him. Continuing with the shares in my name would put me in moments like this. Trapped at a meeting table with him by my side. And the house would only remind me of everything that never was. I don't even want to drive past it, even though it's a new residence; it's infested with ghosts for me.

"What?!" Lewis diverts everyone's attention, even from the mediator, who is still examining the papers in front of him. "What are you talking about? These shares are rightfully yours, Y/n. We earned this together." Hearing his voice in person after so many weeks makes me want to cry.

"Mr. Hamilton, please. Only your lawyer has the right to speak at this moment, okay?" The mediator's voice becomes slightly louder to draw Lewis's attention.

There's a lot of disbelief in his gaze, while mine overflows with sorrow.

If only it were just businesses and numbers, the only things we conquered together, all of this would be infinitely easier.

"Don't do this. The shares are yours too, you know that."

Lewis completely ignores the mediator and continues speaking directly to me. His gaze reveals pleading, as if he's seeking redemption and the only way to achieve it is to ensure I end up with millions in shares.

It's tempting. But we're talking about a woman with a wounded ego and immense pride. So, thanks, but no.

"Mr. Hamilton, please."

The mediator seems a bit nervous. Meanwhile, his lawyer becomes restless and leans in to speak with Lewis.

"If she's giving up willingly, you should consider it. We're not talking about something small, Lewis." His lawyer's voice is low, but within this tiny room and with everyone else silent, it would be impossible not to hear his words.

Lewis still looks at me, and I still look at him. I haven't opened my mouth to respond to him, and I don't intend to. All I want is to leave this place soon with what I want, or rather, what I don't want.

"I don't care about that." Lewis responds to his lawyer, but still looking at me. I could even say there's a hint of anger in his expression, if only I still knew this person in front of me.

Day 1,397

“Waking up to the smell of coffee at home is one of my favorite things because I know when it happens, he's home. And it couldn't be any different; he promised me he would be.

My arms wrap around him as soon as I find him in the kitchen. His bare torso is warm and makes me feel at home like nothing else ever came close to achieving.

His hands hand me a cup of coffee, and our lips come together in a kiss full of the longing that seems never to go away, no matter how close we are.

"How is it possible for someone who hates coffee to make the best coffee I've ever had in my life?!"

Lewis laughs before placing his hands on my waist.

"You say that because you're in love with me and like everything I do. Literally, everyone who's had my coffee didn't like it."

"That's because they don't know how to appreciate the strongest coffee that has ever entered their system." Laughter echoes through the apartment. "But seriously, honey, as much as I love it, you have to go easy on the amount of grounds. I could stay awake for days if I had more than one cup in the morning."

His hands tighten around my waist enough to make me sigh. I place my mug with the hot liquid on the counter and soon bring my hands back to his bare back.

I see the smile fading from his face, replaced by a serious expression.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I was just thinking."

"Want to share that?"

"I'm not sure you'll like the idea very much." A shy smile returns to his lips and my curiosity rises. "I know that wasn't the plan. But I can't stop thinking about it."

His eyes are no longer in contact with mine.

"Come on. Tell me."

"Well." He seems anxious, perhaps genuinely concerned about my reaction. "I think, maybe. If you want. We could start trying to expand the family."

My smile drops.

Not because I don't want this, but because I want it so bad that just the idea of Lewis also wanting it even before what was planned between us makes my stomach churn with happiness. I don't know if it's because of Lewis's strong coffee or my excitement, but suddenly I become aware of my accelerated heartbeat.

"I mean. If you still want to wait, we can. I know you have your work, and..."

"No!" I interrupt his train of thought. "I just wasn't expecting that right now." I have to think about the words before I can say them. "Lewis. Are you serious?"

I pull his face back to mine and force him to look at me. We are so close to each other that Lewis must be able to feel my own heartbeat against his chest.

"I've been thinking about this for a while. I know we agreed to wait until after Formula 1, to move to London and start our family. But I don't think I'm going to retire anytime soon, and I want a family with you now. And I know it will be crazy to have a child in the middle of all the travels and chaos of our life, but..." His smile grows even wider. "It will be our child, right?! If there's someone who could handle all of this, it's him. Or her."

My excitement is so overwhelming that I can hardly think of anything to say.

I know my eyes overflow with happiness and emotion, and I see Lewis's eyes mirroring the same.

I pull him closer to me, pressing against him with no desire to let him go anywhere.

"You know how much I want this." I pull him into a kiss that ends up being a bit messy due to our excitement.

"Is that a yes?" Lewis separates us for a moment to speak.

"Of course!"

"We'll take a break so that Mr. Hamilton's lawyer can review the counterproposal and to calm things down a bit.”

I watch both of them stand up. Lewis leaves the room almost running, while his lawyer follows him with the new papers in hand. I feel numb, I need to tap my feet on the floor a few times to make sure I won't fall when I stand up.

“Y/n. Are you sure about the counterproposal?” Adam, my lawyer, turns his chair towards me. His voice is low even though there's no need for it. Since there's no one else in the room. “I know you have your reasons, but we're talking about over fifty million. That could become much more over the years. Giving it away like this to him could be a mistake. You could at least sell them.”

"No. I don't want anything more from him, Adam." His expression reveals what he doesn't say, which makes me feel the need to justify myself. "I'm not saying this just because I'm hurt, I'm saying this because I really want out of this, I don't want to deal with anything related to Lewis anymore. And I know it may sound crazy, but every penny coming from those shares would only make me feel even worse. So yes, I am positive about my decision."

"Alright. I understand." His compassionate look kills me. I turn away from his expression to avoid dealing with that pity stamped on his face. "I think they'll agree, there wouldn't be a reason to delay this any further."

"I hope so." I don't wait for a response, leaving Adam in his place and stepping out of the room in search of fresh air.

Day 1,716

"I promised I wouldn't disappoint myself this time. I thought it would be easier not to see what I wanted for the seventh consecutive time. But no. Every month, it just hurts more.

I stare at the small plastic object in my hand as I feel a lump in my throat.

A damn red line.

One. Just one.

I feel Lewis's arm around me and his face resting on my shoulder.

We started trying a few months ago. We knew that if we waited for the perfect moment, it would never come. We travel all the time, and Formula 1 takes up a good part of Lewis's life. Besides, it's a dangerous sport.

But the desire for our children proved to be so big that any potential problem seems microscopic in comparison. We have a serious relationship and stability, as well as plenty of willingness and love, what could be missing?!

So, I stopped taking the pills and waited for it to happen. But it didn't. Not in the first month, not in the second, it started to bother me in the third. But I didn't imagine it would reach the seventh unsuccessful attempt.

I try to contain myself and pretend to myself that everything is fine. We're young, we have plenty of time to make this happen. But the frustration is written all over my face.

"We can keep trying,” his voice comes out muffled because his face is resting on me. “It's the best part anyway,” he jokes.

A soft laugh escapes my lips.

“Yeah. Maybe next time, huh?”

I take the test out of my field of vision and look at Lewis. He adjusts his posture and nods while looking at me attentively.

Maybe he's waiting for some kind of outpouring, or even restrained tears. But there isn't any. Not because I'm not feeling sad, but because it wouldn't make sense right now. Especially when he's just minutes away from leaving home for another one of his countless work weekends. A tearful wife wouldn't be the best thing to leave on his mind before all the concentration needed for a Grand Prix.

“We could consult with a specialist if you want.”

He stands up and goes to his suitcase.

“No. I don't think it's necessary now.” My face betrays my words. The question of why a pregnancy hasn't happened yet has been weighing on my mind for months. “We can wait for some more time.”

He sighs.

“Alright.” His hands rest on the handle of his suitcase. “I have to go. Will you be okay?”

“If I say no, will you stay here with me?” Compassion fills his eyes, making me immediately regret what I just said. I truly wish he would give up work sometimes, but I would never ask him for that. Not wanting to be inconvenient, and already knowing the answer. “I'm kidding. Go, go save the world, number forty-four.”

“You're my world.” Lewis walks over to me and plants a kiss on my forehead. That makes me smile. “See you on Monday.”

I go down the dozens of stairs arranged in front of the court. I sit down on one of the steps before reaching the end of them.

The streets are bustling. It couldn't be different on a Tuesday morning. I try to focus on the lives of people swiftly passing by, hoping to distract myself from the lump in my throat.

There are so many things on my mind that I can't even concentrate on one of them. It's like a buzzing is taking over me, leaving no room for anything else. Neither my expectations for a new life, nor the object kept in my bag, nor the hypothesis that should be consuming me, nor my marriage dissipating while I watch it all, nor my exhaustion. None of this is enough to make me feel anything.

I notice his presence beside me through my peripheral vision. He sits down, leaving almost no space between us but without touching me. I don't move to look at him or to move away from his figure. I remain focused on the people walking in front of us, wishing at this moment to have the life of the lady strolling peacefully with her dog through the streets of Monaco.

"How did we get to this?"

Of all the things I expected to hear from Lewis after weeks of not talking, this would be the last of my assumptions.

I don't think much before responding to him.

“I don't know.” I feel his gaze on me, but I still don't turn to him. “I don't think it happened at a specific moment. If only we could attribute it to one exact thing, it would make things easier.”

I can hear his breath next to me; he seems shaken, restless in his place.

“Y/n, if I could go back and undo what I did...”

“It wouldn't change a thing.” I interrupt his speech. I couldn't bear to hear Lewis's lamentations, especially at a moment like this, where I'm so detached from my own self that I'm not even aware of my emotions. “Our marriage ended before you cheated me. It ended long before that, long before losing our child. It happened, I don't think it's a good idea to keep tormenting ourselves thinking about what could have been. Because it wasn't. Simple as that. We're here today.”

He stares at me; I know he's looking into my eyes, and from the position of his body leaning towards me, I can deduce that he longs for my reciprocity. But I don't want to, and I can't look at him right now. As much as all my instincts honed over these years are begging me to go towards him.

“What if we kept trying?" He doesn't even believe in his own words. The sentence comes out like a final sigh.

“We tried for a long time. But we gave up at some point. We kept giving up on small things until they turned into huge things.”

This is the end. I know that. I've had it in my mind for a long time, and I'm sure of this decision. But it should hurt less. I should at least have the ability to breathe or to face my — still — husband.

I don't feel my words coming. I just feel the need to say them, maybe because I need a conclusion. Or because I got used to sharing everything with him, and that's still something that needs to go away.

“I don't feel happy to be here today. Maybe I should have fought more, and you too. But despite that, I know this is the right decision. And even if you don't admit it, I know you agree with me. There's no point in thinking about what could have been done when, in the end, we're here today. And nothing will change that.”

Finally, I gather the courage to look at him. He looks like a complete stranger, a totally different person than he used to be.

His gaze, which was always the thing I loved most about him, now doesn't have the same effect on me. Everything about Lewis seems off. And even though I'm close to him, I don't feel him here.

The person by my side has become a stranger. I'm overwhelmed by grief for someone who is alive and in front of me but is nowhere near who they used to be.

I stare at him for a few seconds before speaking again.

“That's the only regret I have. This habit of deceiving ourselves, the complacency we let take over our marriage. Because if we had realized earlier, if we hadn't let it get to this point where we both ended up hurt, then I would remember all these years with immense happiness. But that's not what happens. I can't even look at you because it hurts so much.” I watch tears invade his eyes right in front of mine. I feel anger and regret at the same level. “And that's the part that kills me. Knowing that the best years of my life will be the most painful to remember.” Only when I stop to breathe do I realize that I'm also crying. I let the tears flow freely down my face as I continue my train of thought. “I don't know if this feeling will change. If with time, it will get better, all I know is what I'm feeling today and what I'm living today. And I've decided that from now on, this is what I'm going to focus on. The present.”

He doesn't say anything for some time.

We stare at each other without any intention whatsoever. There's nothing to be said that would make any difference.

“I'm sorry.” I barely recognize his voice, just like the rest of his being.

“I know. Me too.”

Day 2,125

“The notification sound on my phone breaks my focus from the TV program. I grab the device resting on the couch cushion and check the notification. As soon as I read the message, my boredom is replaced by another wave of hope, as it has been happening every month for over a year.

The notification arrived, and Lewis is home today, things that almost never happen at the same time. Maybe this is a sign that this month will finally be the one that works.

Everything is seen as a sign for a desperate woman.

I jump off the couch and head towards our bedroom.

Lewis is lying down, his attention fixed on the large TV, airing the same program I was watching in the living room. The realization leaves me confused, and even a little sad. Why would he prefer to stay away from me than do exactly the same thing he's doing here, next to me?!

I swallow my wounded ego and ignore the unpleasant feeling that this understanding left me. After all, what we need to do is much bigger than my tantrum.

I climb onto the bed and approach him. Lewis doesn't bother to move.

I straddle his lap without any difficulty. My kisses start on his lips and are instinctively reciprocated by him, but his hands remain inert. I grind on his lap in an attempt to stir something. Nothing.

I move my kisses towards his abdomen, and it's only at that moment that Lewis takes some action. Not the one I wanted, of course.

“Y/n. Love. Not today, okay?*

His hands come to me, not to enjoy more of my touch, but to stop me from continuing. This irritates me, but it doesn't prevent me from continuing. I return to his neck and distribute kisses on his skin, with no intention of giving up what I need.

“Come on. It'll be quick.”

I lower my hands to the elastic of his sweatpants while still showering him with kisses, but my movements are interrupted by him.

“Y/n, stop! I said no.” His voice is loud, which makes me stop immediately.

He moves away from me abruptly. Lewis gets up without any care for how he leaves me on the bed.

I feel embarrassed like never before, anger comes in the same dimension.

”Lewis, what the fuck?!”

“I'm tired of this shit. What do you think? That I'm a damn robot you can press a button and get whatever you want? That's ridiculous.”

“I thought you wanted this too.”

Lewis's breathing is audible; he's restless as he stares at me.

"And I want to, but not like this. When was the last time we had sex because we were horny, not because we're obligated to fuck every time your phone notifies you about your fertile period, Y/n?"

"I don't know, Lewis. I'm trying to get what both of us want here."

"Yes, you're trying that by becoming the coldest person on earth. What's the next step? Do you want me to come in a jar and hand it over to you?"

"That's actually a good idea. It would make things a lot easier."

Sarcasm slips out of me effortlessly. I feel anger rising in my body. And anxiety too.

"For God's sake!" He enters the bathroom but leaves the door open. I hear the running water from the tap for a few seconds before he speaks again.

"What the hell do you want, Lewis?!" My voice erupts in a scream.

He comes back quickly to stand in front of me.

“My wife!" He yells too. "That's what I want, Y/n. Can you bring her back?! Or has this obsession taken her away too?"

My frustration is so intense that I feel my throat burning with tears that want to fall. We've never shouted at each other, never fought like we are now. Everything feels like a horrible and senseless chaos.

"I had a terrible weekend. And you didn't even bother to ask how things are. I asked you to come with me to the Grand Prix, and you chose to stay here, probably to consult with another doctor to tell you exactly what all the others have said, if there's any other doctor left in Monaco that you haven't consulted. You're so blinded by this idea that you forgot to keep living your life."

A humorless laugh escapes my lips.

"Oh, poor little thing. You had a terrible weekend? I had a terrible year, Lewis! And I'm not crying because no one came to console me or anything like that. I'm trying to do what I should, what both of us want. You don't have the right to judge me for that." I get out of bed and walk towards the door. Frustrated and overwhelmed by guilt. Today could have been the day, but it wasn't. It wasn't because he didn't want it. "Grow up, Lewis. And if you want someone to pat you on the head, go find someone else, because it won't be me."

It's the last thing I say before slamming the door behind me.”

“I think we should go back inside.”

His voice breaks the silence between us, which has lingered for some time. We stopped talking minutes ago, but we didn't feel the need to move away from each other.

I think we both know that this is the last time we stay together like this. There's no guilt in wanting to prolong this moment, as sad as it may be.

I nod as I look back at him.

I know this was the opportunity to finally tell him what I believe is happening, but I simply can't. It was too hard to get to this point, and sharing my suspicions would only hurt him and further delay the inevitable. I don't need to subject him to that, because if I'm truly right, I know this issue won't be something that lingers for long. And if I can spare him from this additional pain, that's what I'll do.

"I'll sign the papers. If that's really what you want."

"No. That's definitely not what I want, Lewis." I stand up alongside him. "But it's what we have to do if there's still any respect left for what we both lived together."

We enter the grand courtroom together, taking small steps. We walk side by side without any hurry towards the cold room that awaits us, not saying a word. No need for more lamentations. Certain of what will happen, uncertain about the future we hadn't imagined without each other.

I return to my seat, my heart racing as everyone settles in.

"My client agrees to the counterproposal," his lawyer breaks the silence.

"That's good. Now that both parties agree, you may finally sign the documents, please," the mediator seems almost relieved.

The knot in my throat chokes me. I want to escape from here, I want to cry like a baby right now. This hurts like hell. I didn't think I would have a breakdown at this moment, not when everything is so close to ending.

I try to hold myself together, to keep my breathing in check and not show how close I am to bursting into tears and screams. I think I do well in that, as the only person who notices my instability is the only person in the room who is in the same situation as I am.

His red eyes betray a nearly palpable pain.

It shouldn't be like this, it shouldn't be ending this way.

We promised we would die together, old and gray, in our house with the white façade surrounded by flowers in London.

It wasn't supposed to end in a cold room at the first instance court in Monaco. This is so damn unfair.

Lewis takes the white papers that were handed to him by his lawyer. His hands shake, but only I notice. He doesn't avert his gaze from mine, not for a second, not even as he picks up the black pen placed in front of him. He wants to be sure. He wants one last confirmation from me.

Day 0

"Our hands fit perfectly. I instantly feel calmer with his touch. I step away from my father as I approach my fiancé.

“You look perfect.” He whispers in my ear as he gets close. The emotion in his voice is clear. Lewis plants a kiss on my cheek before turning to my father.

They shake hands. My father pulls Lewis into a half-hug, I know something is said in the midst of it by the older man, but I don't hear what. Just the possibilities that pass through my mind are enough to make me laugh.

Lewis doesn't take long to turn back to me; now his attention is entirely mine.

"Ladies and gentlemen, family and friends, we are gathered here on this special day to celebrate the love and union of two souls who have decided to embark on this journey of life together.”

The celebrant begins to speak. My heart races, and the smile on my face feels like it will stay there forever.

Lewis looks more handsome than ever. His happiness manages to make him even more beautiful, as if that were possible. I want to look around, see if the flowers arranged are the ones we chose, or if everyone we invited is present. But I couldn't, I couldn't look anywhere when I have the best thing in my life right in front of me. Moving his mouth and telling me "I love you" without making a sound. Just for me to know, just to make it clear.

“Marriage is a unique moment, as it is the union of two individuals who choose to share their dreams, joys, and challenges side by side. Today, Lewis and Y/n, you are taking an important step in your lives, a step that represents the promise to love and care for each other, regardless of the circumstances. The journey of love is marked by highs and lows, but it is the partnership and complicity that will help you overcome all obstacles together. Love is the force that binds your hearts, making you stronger, braver, and more willing to face any adversity. Now, I ask for everyone's attention for the vows of the newlyweds.”

Anxiety consumes me even more, but I am excited to finally be able to say the words I have been holding inside me.

I turn to Alessia, who stands behind me. She hands me the small piece of paper I entrusted to her earlier.

I try to breathe a few times before starting to pronounce the words written by me on the lined paper.

“I think it's not news to anyone here how much of a dreamer I am. Everyone who knows me has heard about my fantasies at some point.” My laughter is accompanied by that of my guests. “Many of them I judged and was aware of being impossible. After all, I know that nothing can be perfect.” I take my eyes off the paper and lock eyes with Lewis for a few seconds. “I never thought I would be so happy to be wrong.”

I try to hold back the tears as I speak, but I know my emotion is implicit and one step away from taking over me.

“You showed me that my unrealistic dreams are not only possible but even better than in my imagination. Love transcends what I thought was impossible. Your love showed me that even the bad parts are worth it if I have you by my side.” Lewis smiles in a way different from the usual, tears fill his eyes too. Which only makes me even more fulfilled. “I never imagined that I would marry that guy I met by mere chance on a night out with my friends. Not because I didn't like you right away; because I think it's clear how I was already won over by you before even knowing your name.” His laughter echoes within me. “But because I imagined that when I found the love of my life, the feeling would be different. I would be afraid, anxious, uncertain at times. After all, that's what my mind and all love stories make us believe. That it has to be complicated to be real. But that's not what happened, everything between you and me was natural, it felt right from the beginning.”

I need a few seconds to breathe, look at our guests for a brief moment, and can capture all the emotion present in the room.

How is it possible for a moment to be so magical? How could all of this result in anything other than the perfection of a life together? I thought I was sure of something until now, but this feeling shows me otherwise. There is nothing within me greater than the conviction of the right decision for the love of my life.

“I took a while to realize that this is the essence of true love. The kind that happens fluidly and unconditionally, without pressures, fears, or insecurities. In you, I found the security and comfort I didn't even know I was looking for. Now, looking back at everything we've been through, I realize that every step that brought us here was guided by destiny. Every moment we shared, every laugh, every tear, everything was part of a carefully written plot for us to find each other in this perfect fairy tale.”

“And, my love, I promise to keep cherishing this feeling that binds us. Because it was by your side that I learned that true love doesn't need to be complicated or uncertain. I thank chance, destiny, and all the forces and entities that brought us together. I am blessed for this, and there are not enough words to express my gratitude at this moment. May our love continue to grow, to blossom, and may we face every challenge together with courage and complicity. Because if I'm by your side, I know there's nothing to fear, and we'll be fine as long as we're together.”

I articulate the last sentences while looking into your eyes; they are already engraved in me even before writing them.

Lewis presses his lips together; there are a few seconds of silence before we laugh at each other. In a mix of tears and happiness.

Knowing that it's now his turn makes me more anxious than minutes ago when I started my speech.

“Oh God.” He whispers with a choked voice. “How do you expect me to say anything after that?”

“Just breathe. I'm right here.”

Our hands connect again. I tighten my grip on him, waiting for the time Lewis needs to prepare.

Eventually, Lewis brings his hand to the pocket of his pants and takes out a folded piece of paper.

I notice the tremor in his hands. But his smile remains intact.

“Y/n…” He looks at me for a few seconds before returning his gaze to the paper. “I could spend hours here telling you how certain I am that you are the love of my life. How you showed me a life that I never imagined would be mine. Or how you taught me so much that I don't know how I survived before I met you.” The hand holding the paper tightens with a certain force, but his expression, in contrast, brings me peace. “But there are not enough vows of love to tell you what I would like now, Y/n. I don't think there's a combination of words that comes close to expressing what I really want, what I feel inside me. That's why I'm not going to try, not at this moment, not in this way. I will show you, every day, what no phrase at this moment could. And that's my promise to you.”

I feel an euphoria that could be mistaken for anxiety; each word of his envelops me in a way that I even feel numb, as if floating in an almost immortal state while I listen to him. Everything within me echoes that this is the moment, the pinnacle of genuine happiness. It's the moment I intend to remember every day for the rest of my life.

Simply, the best moment of all.

I even make an effort to set aside the awareness of my emotions a little. I'm not sure what could happen if I completely surrender to what I'm feeling. It's like a nirvana, and I hope it lasts forever within me.

Lewis pauses for a few seconds before continuing.

“You are the best part of me. I am my best version when I have you by my side. And for that, I promise to cultivate each of these things that move us, promise to take care of this love and never let it go away. I promise to remember every day how lucky I am to have a wife like you, even in those moments when you drive me crazy wanting something and not being sure what, and thinking I should be a deciphering master.” Everyone laughs, tears mixed with happiness on our faces. “No. It's okay, actually your ability to confuse me is one of the things I love about you.”

“You are light. You are happiness. You are peace and a storm at the same time; you are my foundation, the love of the life of someone who never believed in fairy tales. You are my fortress, and I hope to be yours. So, I'll be here, always right here, by your side. Making sure you are always content, always supported, never alone. Never alone.” He emphasizes the last sentence. His eyes glued to mine. “I love you.”

His gaze, intense and suffocating, seems to penetrate my skin, but I maintain composure, hiding the storm unraveling within me. Any gesture from me could end up prolonging this unbearable moment, and honestly, I don't know if I could endure another hour in this room.

I resist the temptation to look away and, instead, just nod slightly. In the ensuing silence, I try to capture every detail, every line on his face, as if this were the last time I would see him. His eyes, which once shone with love, now reflect only the shadow of what we were. His Adam's apple moves, and his gaze shifts away from mine, finally releasing me from this anguish.

The fingers holding the pen are tense, white from the applied pressure. The fine tip touches the paper, leaving a trail of farewell.

A final uncertain glance.

The last second as wife and husband.

I can't believe it ended like this.

But that's how it ends. Not with a bang, but with a suffocating silence, marking the end of something we swore to be eternal. The last trace of our connection fades away, and now all that remains is the journey unfolding before me. A life now redefined by the absence of what once was us.

[…]

I enter the apartment, and exhaustion takes over my body.

It's still mid-morning, but it feels like days have passed since I woke up.

My new home is nothing like the previous one; it's a simple apartment with three bedrooms that seems to have the perfect size to avoid feeling cramped but also not so large as to leave me lonely.

The apartment of a single woman.

The walls are predominantly white, with a single exception in the living room. I painted one of the walls blue on my first day here, a choice that now seems too impulsive. I look at that wall and feel a twinge of regret, but the idea of repainting it is simply inconceivable.

I don't even like the color blue.

Suddenly, I become aware of the object I tucked into my bag days ago, and for the first time since the purchase, I feel anxious about the possibilities it holds.

I close my hand around the strap of my bag and walk to the bathroom, no hurry, but my heart beats unevenly.

I lock the door behind me, even though I'm alone, a habit I haven't lost even after leaving my parents' house.

My breath would be audible even if the house weren't in the absolute silence it finds itself in.

I do what I've done at least two hundred times in my life; there's no need to look at the instructions. At this point, it has become muscle memory. The ritual unfolds in silence, marked only by the subtle sound of paper and plastic.

With care, I return the test to its place in the small box. Hesitation hangs in the air, a prolonged pause before facing what I already know. The urgency to find out competes with the reluctance to confront. I'm not ready; I don't want to relive all of that again. The fear inside me grows to proportions I've never experienced before. If I had the slightest strength, I could have a breakdown now.

I leave the bathroom, seeking more space, trying to alleviate the suffocating sensation. The small box still in my hand.

The indicated 3 minutes have passed; the instructions say to disregard after 15 minutes. I have 12 minutes, 12 minutes to avoid the answer, 12 minutes where I still pretend not to know anything, where I can continue to delude myself for another brief interval. 12 minutes that allow me to postpone the inevitable confrontation, as if ignoring the clock could freeze the reality that may await me.

There are tears. Tears that I don't know if they're of sadness, joy, or a complex combination of both. Each drop seems to carry the weight of a journey, mourning the past loss, the uncertainty of the future, and the unexpected surprise of the possibility of a new life forming.

There's a trembling smile playing at the corners of my lips. It's a smile marked by vulnerability, fear, and resilience. The irony of discovering this right after the divorce seems to hang in the air, but there's also a flame of courage that ignites within me. A strength that arises from the need to face this chapter alone.

There is confusion. My heart feels like a maze of contradictory sensations. The duality of emotions manifests in thoughts that collide, in doubts intertwining with fearful hopes. How to balance the fragility of a new life with the pain of a previous loss? Or rather, two losses?

There is fear. It feeds on the vulnerability of being alone. The specter of the past loss still looms over me, a shadow that whispers fears. The uncertainty of what is to come.

There is happiness. Happiness that arises from the understanding that life, despite its painful twists, goes on. A new life, an opportunity to start over, even if the scenery seems daunting at first glance. It's the hope that ignites in the face of darkness.

I gather the necessary courage and hold the object firmly. I take it out of the box.

There are two lines.

[…]

Life unfolds, it happens, even though I may want to stop it at times. Choices and changes, at times, leave eternal scars. And if it hurt enough to leave a mark, it means it should always be remembered.

Before me, there is a blank canvas, a path never treaded before, where I carry my baggage and memories that I'm not sure will fade so quickly.

The pain makes room for resilience, a chance for redefinition. Life shows that the ability to move forward is the source of overcoming, even when the future is unstable and uncertain.

Even in the quietest corners of my story, there is a subtle melody that continues to play, reminding me that, despite everything, life persists, transforming into an eternal flow.

Life metamorphoses, flowing like a river that, even in the face of obstacles, finds its way, reminding me that persistence is the essence of existence.

However, this same persistence, although it is the force that makes us move forward, can also be the cause of pain, of giving up, and of exhaustion.

Learn when to say goodbye.

N/a: OMG I´M BACK!😭

I won't even justify my absence. I simply couldn't write for a long time. But I hope it was worth it. Here it is, the last chapter, finally. I hope to be able to write again and bring more stories. Thank you to everyone who followed and had patience. ❤️❤️

#au fanfiction #lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton fluff #lewis hamilton smut #lewis hamilton x reader #daniel ricciardo x reader #daniel ricciardo #f1 #formula 1 #george russell

[razzmatazz-2994]

Just saw the most HORRIBLY inaccurate dissection of Zeke’s character and absolutely had to weigh in to defend my favorite monstrosity monkey. AoT SPOILERS AHEAD.

(Pictured above: me coming to explain my favorite fictional character.)

SO, let’s start with Zeke’s backstory, which seems to be a point of some contention. The post in question accused Zeke of fabricating the narrative of being a victim and callously killing his parents. There are many reasons this ISN’T the case.

For one, Zeke was a child, both a member of a marginalized group in an oppressed society and the victim of an abusive household. Perhaps not traditionally, physically, abusive. But Grisha and Dina forced this child to join the MILITARY. Not only that, they hoped he would become a Warrior (which means becoming a Titan and REDUCING HIS LIFESPAN TO A MEASLY THIRTEEN YEARS) all in the hopes of reclaiming the Founding Titan.

They attempted to quite literally sacrifice the life of their only child for a mission, forcing him into a role he didn’t ask for, pressuring him with the FATE OF THE WORLD. OF ALL ELDIANS. You cannot tell me this wouldn’t affect a child.

This person also claimed Zeke never asked Grisha to play catch, but got mad when he didn’t. The only reason this is even technically “correct” is because the one time he tried to ask, Grisha interrupted him so he could spend more time devoting himself to his righteous mission.

What’s more, it wasn’t even Zeke’s idea to give up his restorationist parents to Marley. By the time Zeke tells on them, they had ALREADY been found out — he overheard a Marleyan confirm as much during his warrior training. He went to Mr. Ksaver, the closest thing he had to a parent, to say goodbye — to meet his fate and become a Titan with the rest of his family as punishment. He was going to die.

The ONLY way he could’ve saved himself and his grandparents was to give up his mom and dad. He never wanted to do it. And even if you wouldn’t do the same in this situation, you have to understand the monumental weight of the choices thrust upon him. The lives of his family and people he cared about, even those that mistreated him. A mere child was expected to make such a gut-wrenchingly horrible choice.

Now, for his motivations. Zeke, who has persecuted and abused his entire life for being Eldian, chooses to outwit the Marleyan government, befriend the Founding Titan and, with his royal blood, prevent Eldians from reproducing.

It sounds horrible. It is. And though it sounds contrarian, I think it’s purely the most empathetic course of action from his point of view. He knows better than anyone the persecution the Eldians face, the hate and superstition the rest of the world feels that would simply be impossible to overcome. He cannot change the world’s hateful perception of his people. So he chooses the greatest mercy he can think of. He will peacefully eradicate the Eldians and the power of the Titans, not through bloodshed, but by allowing the final generations to live out their lives in peace. It would also spare them persecution and the world the threat of the Titans.

Now, obviously, his plan is still pretty despicable. His worldview is twisted, to the point where he considers killing to be a mercy — that it would be better for no one to have ever been born. And though he tries to resolve the Eldian problem as peacefully as possible, he still kills thousands of people, if not dozens of thousands. There’s no arguing that he’s a just and moral person — it’s part of the reason he’s the antagonist — but consider the alternatives.

Eren’s plan is genocide. Instead of allowing the persecuted minority to die out, Eren chose to kill billions of people — to try to kill the VAST majority of the world’s population. And though the Marleyan government is pure evil, most of these victims are innocent. Completely undeserving of the cruel fate they would face. As horrible as Zeke’s plan and methods are, it’s hard to say that Eren’s is any better. If anything, the sheer number of people killed makes it even more appalling to me. After all, Eren becomes an antagonist, too. They are both flawed, traumatized men with the weight of the world on their shoulders and unimaginable power in their hands.

The most reasonable plan, of course, is Armin’s. To unleash a small-scale version of the rumbling and destroy Marley’s fleets in order to buy Paradis the time needed to negotiate. But his plan, too, has one huge flaw.

The Founding Titan needs royal blood to be unlocked — something only Zeke and Historia possess. And by Season 4, Zeke has less than a year left to live, and Eren only has about four. It’s not enough time to negotiate, to change the world’s hateful perception of the Eldians. And this time pressure is exactly what pushes Zeke and Eren to take such drastic measures.

Eren would never allow Historia to become a Titan. He wouldn’t stand to see her used and controlled the way her father manipulated her, nor would he allow his friends to live their lives struggling to survive against an ignorant world. His obsession with freedom was too much. It practically controlled him — it, or the will of the Attack Titan. He had to ally himself with Zeke. To him, there was no other choice.

As I said, Zeke knows better than anyone the pain and persecution that comes with being Eldian in this world. He could have passed his blood and Titan to another, but that would bring its own kind of pain, one he knew intimately. He knew what it was like to have a role forced upon him as a child, to be controlled and used and sacrificed for his father’s ambitions. Why would he ever inflict that pain upon someone else? To him, there was no other choice.

We may never know who was right — or if anyone was — and I can’t blame anyone for despising Zeke after all the killing he’s done. But it’s also why he realizes he’s wrong and sacrifices himself to stop the rumbling. He realizes life is beautiful even in the small moments, and that despite the pain, whether someone dies is not his choice to make. Once again, he gives his life for a goal. But this time, it’s not the lesser of two evils or even a misguided man’s vision of mercy. It’s pure selflessness. After a long, miserable life, he has finally realized the beauty in the world — and willingly, he gives it all away.

Zeke Yeager. The wonderboy.

#attack on titan #attack titan #shingeki no kyoujin eren #shingeki no kyoujin #shingeki no kyojin #snk the final season #snk eren #snk fandom #snk #aot the final season #aot anime #aot #eren aot #eren yeager #eren jaeger #zeke jaeger #zeke yeager #aot zeke #beast titan #founding titan #the rumbling #grisha jaeger #grisha yeager #analysis #character analysis

[dopamine-direwolf]

One of the things that gets lost a lot in talk about the One Ring and its corruptive influence is that in the books when Frodo asks Gandalf about using its power against Sauron, Gandalf says that it's not just that the Ring itself is evil and that using it turns you evil magically.

More specifically he talks about the fact that to unlock its full powers, to where it's doing more stuff than just turning you invisible when you put it on, you have to perform this long string of actions, rituals, whatever. That all of these "unlocks" require doing horrible things, some things that are evil without any magic or spiritual shadows attached, things that are just evil for their own sake. And so by the time you had gained all that power, you would have had to have become a person willing to do all these hideous, cruel, despicable things... you have to become a person willing to do the deepest, darkest evil before you could ever start wielding the power for your intended good purposes. But by then... well, you're evil, aren't you?

And that's what happens to everyone who seeks power. All the power and greater authority in this world is held and controlled by evil people... they're not going to let you use any of it until you've proved yourself willing to be just like them.

[heehappi]

Bite Me

❯ Pairings: Heeseung x fem! reader

❯ Genre: Cakeverse AU (please read A/N if you aren't familiar with this AU), smut, yandere.

❯ Word Count: 3.612

❯ Tags: unprotected sex, suggestive, yandere, praising, stalking, slight possessiveness, and manipulation.

❯ Narrative viewpoint: First-person point of view (for Heeseung) and Second-person point of view (for the sexual part)

❯ A/N: I'm sorry for any inaccuracy in grammar as well as writing style because English isn’t my first language.

❯ A brief of Cakeverse: 

“Cakeverse” is a spin-off of the “Omegaverse”. Similarly to its predecessor, characters in the Cakeverse are divided into three categories: Cakes, Forks, and normal people.

Cake: They are born with delicious fragrances, but they don’t know about it. The only way they find out about their status is through the coincidence of kissing a Fork.

Fork: When reaching a certain age, Forks will lose their sense of taste, only able to feel the taste of Cakes. Fork's basic instinct is eating Cakes, including bones, blood, and meat (NO, TRUST ME I NOT GONNA ADD THEM IN THIS FIC, they sound horrible to me)

The first time I met Y/N, through those innocent eyes, I'd already visualized her figure being pressed aggressively under my body. 

I couldn't help myself from the desire to kiss, bite, and lick every inch of her skin, much as one would suck the fruit filling on a strawberry dessert. I narrowed my eyes at Y/N in the hopes that I hadn’t scared her off. I could smell the fragrance of blood running underneath her skin from this far.  

“You must be sweet like that too, don't you think?”

At that moment, I realized that Y/N had awakened my taste buds. She is my Cake, and this is a fate that none of us can escape.

The first strategy in hunting is gently approaching the prey.

For several days, I observed the small bar where Y/N was singing. She initially went there with her buddies, but after a while, she went herself. She looked abstracted that day, seemed to think about someone, revealed a hint of sadness, and even though it only lasted for a moment, I still clenched my jaw in a fit of jealousy. She should have been on my bed, sobbing uncontrollably until her eyes turned red. I would have applied something like cream on her lower abdomen and licked it off slowly.

Y/N is the most expensive and high-grade Cake in the world, yet nobody can taste her sweetness.

“But that’s not bad at all. Thanks to that, I have more time to put you in my pocket.”

The second strategy in hunting is deceiving, pretending to be pure and innocent to gain the trust of prey.

Y/N was surrounded by a lot of low-level Forks who are so despicable. She only realized that she was a Cake when those bastards couldn’t control their fangs and the repulsive desire in their eyes. She was always sluggish, and it was too late to flee.

When those inferiors were getting closer to her, I kicked them hard from behind. Even though I wanted to delay this fight a little bit, I couldn't bear to witness their dirty hands ruin my dessert. 

I pulled Y/N in my arms tightly. Her eyes were wide with panic, her knuckles became white as she grasped my shoulder to calm her rushing heart.

The distance was so close. I hoped that she wasn’t aware of the sound I made as I gulped saliva. I made an effort to control myself, but her body and soul were so fragrant that they kept triggering my hunger.

A half-deaf Fork rushed over with an empty glass bottle in his hand. I turned around so that he could hit me. As I had hoped for, Y/N witnessed that scenario. She was terror-stricken, looking at me with unbelievable eyes.

My plan was half successful.

The worst disappointment was that Fork's dirty hands had touched my sweet little Cake. I broke his hands and watched him trembling uncontrollably on the ground like a loser. I covered Y/N’s eyes, my palms were wet with her tears. She touched my injured forehead out of worry. She probably didn’t know how fragile she looked at that time: a blush of shyness crept up her face, and her eyes were blurred with tears. She looked like a ripe cherry waiting to be picked. I wanted to bite her lips, but my vision was becoming blurry…

“It’s all right, this is just the beginning.”

After being discharged from the hospital, Y/N accompanied me home. I told her a lie about being homeless. My band and I used to have a good time, but I eventually fell on hard times. My innocent little Cake was always easy to be fooled. All I had to do was stare at her with my bambi eyes. She looked awkward but still soft-hearted at the end. I couldn’t look at her for too long because doing so would arouse my hunger.

The third strategy in hunting is penetrating her life step by step.

Because I had spent a few days with Y/N, I was somewhat aware of the reasons for her earlier unfocused attitude in the bar. She had previously lived with her colleagues, one girl, and one boy. Then there had been some conflicts, so she moved out. I was quite curious about the circumstances, so I looked through a photo album in Y/N's big suitcase. The relationship between her and her ex-roommates seemed so good. Actually, too nice that it was a bit abnormal. Y/N looked at the boy with a sparkle in her eyes.

Perhaps Y/N had been in love with him, but they had cut off contact due to some reason, so her mood was extremely terrible. But in my point of view, it was fate. That’s why I was here, in her house.

I started to live with Y/N. Every morning, I woke up and waited for her to make breakfast for me. Although I had lost my sense of taste, I could feel a little craving when glancing at Y/N, then tried to swallow food. She didn’t know much about cooking, perhaps just begun to learn so she could take care of me. Like a fledgling waiting to be fed, I waited for her to finish her work and go back home every day.

Y/N uncarefully cut her hands while slicing meat. I put her finger in my mouth, her blood tasted sweet, like syrup. I innocently glanced at Y/N. She assumed I was worried about her. She moved her hand backward and comforted me by saying that it didn’t hurt.

When we went to the supermarket, I liked to buy things in pairs such as house slippers, toothbrushes, cups, and even bowls. Y/N clenched her fists and hit my chest as she stared at the long receipt. The last time she had such an upset expression was when I had eaten all the flavors of ice cream in her refrigerator. I liked to tease her and relished her kitten-like anger. I assured her that I would pay her money every month.

I developed a close bond with Y/N that was apart from our Fork-Cake connection. She progressively became open to sharing some stories of her life, how she had experienced loss, how her confidence had faded away, and how her unrequited love had not been returned. I coaxed her by complimenting her unconditionally every time she writes songs for me.

I made up some fairy stories and told Y/N before bedtime every night. She had worked during the day, then she quit her job at the bar to take care of me. People who were too lonely usually don’t have a peaceful night, and my Y/N consistently had trouble sleeping. Every time I completed a fairy tale, she would beg me for more. But I always said that the best would be reserved for later. I was aware that she didn't particularly want to hear those stories. 

Y/N simply did not want to sleep alone.

The fourth strategy in hunting is attacking and grabbing the chance to swallow prey.

When I thought the time was ripe, I feigned to be ill. A slight concussion, according to the doctor, led to vomiting and an appetite loss. Thanks to that dirty Fork with his glass bottle.

I didn’t eat anything. Y/N tried to come up with new foods for me to eat more. She attempted to study a new recipe and used her meager monthly wage to buy cooking supplies.

No more fairy tales at night. I wrapped myself in the blanket and pretended to be extremely exhausted. In spite of the fact that I didn’t eat much during that month and lost a lot of weight, my desire for Y/N outweighed my bodily hunger.

Y/N made a bowl of egg soup, which she had just learned when getting home from work. She ruined numerous eggs before encouraging me to eat by patting my back, like coaxing a child.

- Hee, please eat something.

I didn't take her spoon. Instead, I pulled her closer and gave her my passionate-bambi gaze until she blushed. My little sweet Cake has innocent eyes but at that moment, I just wanted to see them in tears, seeing that she couldn’t help but wrap her legs around my waist. I wanted to devour her.

I was dying of hunger.

I tentatively pressed my lips on hers. Y/N didn’t shy away, then I knew I could start tasting my Cake.

I had waited far too long for this day. When I caught her on the first day, my heart raced faster uncontrollably. My palm was so cold. When I touched her, she trembled slightly like a young bird that had just been wet, and I was her only wind-avoiding nest.

My lips parted from hers. I could hear the sound of her heavy breath, the sound of her blood streaming rapidly. I kissed her forehead softly. That was my devotion to the prey. Those eyes came next. Her eyelashes were shaking. Y/N's eyelids were so thin that I could see the tiny blood vessels beating slightly beneath them. She was too white. Even when Y/N wasn’t shy, her nose tip and eye corners remained rosy.

I believed that a high-grade Cake had to have a gorgeous outlook. It couldn't just be a smooth cream surface; it also needed some decorative strawberries. And Y/N had all of those characteristics. 

Heeseung guided you to sit on his lap, locking your arms around his neck. His hands on your hips eagerly pushed your heat down against his erection, hoping that you would notice his half-hard boner pressing your core. His hands found the hem of your nightgown and slowly took it off. You were too nervous to open your eyes. Heeseung lifted your head by your chin and mildly bit your cheek. He said that it was fluffy like soufflé.

- Naughty girl with no bra huh?

His hands squeezed your boobs, leaving kisses alongside your jaw. He kissed down your neck to your collarbone, pinching and rolling his thumb over your hardened nipple. He took one boob in his hand, rubbing it. His tongue twirled around the bud before sucking your nipple while his other hand rubbed your thigh, slowly reaching your intimate area. 

You moaned like a mess, feeling the sensation build up inside your stomach.

- So fucking cute, moaning like this just because I suck your boobs.

Heeseung blew hot breath on your tits after abusing them. He kissed the area of the underboob, leaving strings of his saliva all over your flesh. Your tits were shiny like being sprinkled with sour cherry Brandy wine. You ran your hands through his hair as he pressed his head more on your chest, inhaling the smell of shower gel that he bought for you. His hand abandoned your ass and started running his thumb around your nipple.

- T..that f..feels good, Hee. 

He smiled.

- Yeah? If you consent to me, I can make you feel even better.

Heeseung looked up and saw the unshed tears glistening in the corners of your eyes. He squeezed your waist to stop your non-stop trembling body. 

- Baby, it will be ok...

- I-I allow you…

Heeseung couldn’t help but grinded his hard cock against your core. He reassured you as he pulled you into a slow kiss, and let you lay down in bed. Your belly must be the most delicate area since there are hundreds of butterflies fluttering inside. Once his lips pressed on it, they seemed to fly out. Heeseung gripped your waist as his teeth pulled your underwear down.

He suddenly remembered the milk pudding he had eaten in childhood. When unwrapping the plastic package, the soft pudding exposed to the air, even bounced up to the amplitude of movement, left memorable ripples. He squeezed your butt cheek and watched the tiny moan coming out of your lips. 

- I'll be gentle. Once you feel uncomfortable, I will stop immediately. 

His fingers traced over your clit, middle and index fingers spreading your pussy lips apart. Heeseung pushed two fingers into you slowly and scissored them to stretch you out. You started clenching around his fingers. It drove him mad with lust when feeling your velvet walls tighten. He had no intention of stopping, added a third finger, and began moving faster, his thumb reaching up to your clit, not until you were begging him.

- P-please, Hee. Please I want more….

Heeseung thought it was really cute whenever he teased you. Maybe he would edge you until you were sobbing and then make you get off with your own fingers. But not now, not this damn moment. 

The sound of him pulling down the zipper of his jeans was loud enough that sent a shiver down your spine. It was nothing, though, to compare with the groan he made as he stroked his cock outside his boxer. You held your breath as you strained to hear him. Heeseung pulled his cock out of his confinement, his cock throbbing against his stomach. He wrapped his fingers around his erection, spreading beads of precum on himself. 

- Wanna feel it? 

He guides your hand down to touch it. You grabbed a hold of his dick, stroking slightly. Only God knew how desperate he was to see this scene. 

- Do you want me to use a condom or not? 

You bit your lip and debated for a minute whether to answer truthfully.

- No, I want to feel you.

- Shit Y/N, you have no idea how much I want to bury my cock inside you, stretch every single inch of you until you writhe under me, beg me to stop.

It was your turn to breathe out weakly, back arching off the bed to reach his dick, wondering if he could feel how wet he was making you.

- I want that as much as you do, Hee.

You lifted your gaze to meet his. His eyes were dark and glazed over with both lust and frustration. Heeseung smirked and raised an eyebrow upward as he guided your legs wrapping around him, heels digging into his lower back to facilitate his penetration. He rubbed the tip of his cock up and down over your sopping fold.

- Let’s carve the safe word in your head baby. Chocolate.

Chocolate because there is no more Vanilla.

You nodded, and closed your eyes, waiting for the delicious stretch of his dick pushing into you. Heeseung dragged his cock along your fold and lubricated it with your wetness and his precum before slowly plugging his length down your hole until he bottomed up, making the two of you sigh in relief. A deep groan escaped his lips as he adjusts to the feeling of your hot, wet cunt around him. 

- Fuck, baby. Like fucking made for me.

You gasped and tossed your head back, your hand covered your mouth and your eyes rolled back. Heeseung left sloppy wet kisses on your neck to ease your pain. It took a while for you to adjust his big size. You guys stayed in the position, just feeling each other.

- Hee, you can move now.

He nodded and started to fuck you slowly, before eventually hitting your walls at a perfect angle with an unforgiving pace that has you seeing stars. Your hands ran over his torso, scratching his back deliciously that got him hissed, obviously leaving marks on it. Your back arched high from the mattress, your voice reached that high pitched while Heeseung kept thrusting into you constantly. Your room echoed with the sounds of skin slapping against skin. Heeseung moved his hand to your belly, feeling the small bulge he made every time his dick was buried inside you. The stimulation was becoming too much, something in your stomach slowly tightening. 

- Heeseung!

His name ripped from your throat when he led one hand down to roll your clit in circular figures.

- I.. I’m about to… to cum.

He sped up and kissed your cheek. 

- Go ahead babe, cum for me. 

You came with a string of moan mess, painting his length with your juice, some getting on his base, some dripping down your thighs and onto the sheets. Heeseung was in awe as he watched milky white rings around his cock. He stopped for a second for you to catch your breath.

- Will you cum in me too?

Heeseung cussed under his breath. The way you sounded so innocent while spilling those lascivious words. He panted against your lips.

- You're gonna kill me Y/N. You’re so hot.

- Say it to yourself.

You kiss him one more time before bucking your hip upwards. He chuckled at your flirtatiousness. 

- Yea- gonna put our kids in you. 

Heeseung sank further, cockhead burying itself deep into your cunt with every snap of his hips. He grabbed your jaw to force your gaze onto him.

- You take me so well, so fucking tight for me. Look at my eyes when taking my fat cock, love.

Heeseung angled his hips higher so his tip aggressively reached the right spot that made you see stars. He thrusted hard for the last time before he spurted his white and warm load of seeds inside you. His head falls forward and he takes the opportunity to plant sweet kisses all over your face and cheek. He leaned into the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent.

And at that fucking moment, Heeseung started to lose control over his desire of eating you, like a Fork want to devour his Cake. Finally, his sharp fang coming out wanted to pierce through your seductive neck.

Suddenly, a dagger was placed against his chest. Heeseung gave you a shocked expression. Both of you had not yet fully recovered from the intense orgasm. Your eyes were crimson in the corners, fierce yet also attractive. You spoke to him in a shaky voice that was full of hatred.

- You are a Fork too. You wanted to eat me.

This statement wasn’t a question. You indulged him repeatedly despite the fact that you were quite certain of his motivations and had known it for a very long time.

“No wonder you are my little Cake, Y/N”

Heeseung grinned at you and kissed your hair and eyelashes gently. He grabbed your hand and positioned it an inch to the left, where his heart was there.

- Here, love. Stab here to kill me. Kill me and no one will tell fairy tales to you tomorrow night.

The last step in hunting is a retreat for a longer-lasting relationship with prey.

Y/N's dagger fell to the bed. She covered his eyes and whimpered. In fact, Y/N has been in love with me for a very long time. When I gradually entered her life, she became accustomed to seeing the lights in the house while coming back from work, and paying for the long receipt in the supermarket's checkout,...  In her perception, her house now became warm with a full smell of cooked food, rather than an empty room and midnight takeout.

I replaced the photos of Y/N and her ex-roommate with our photos. 

Y/N started composing songs with happy tunes. When she played piano, they sounded like soft lullabies. I learned those tunes by heart, humming them while I brushed my teeth next to her in the morning. Y/N turned her head excitedly and asked me how I remembered it with a mouth full of toothpaste foam. I said that I could recall all the songs written by her. 

Y/N also no longer took sleep pills. She hid a variety of psychiatric medications under the bed, including red and white tablets that I have no idea what they taste like but must not be delicious. If I had a chance, I would have surreptitiously replaced them with colorful candies. Y/N looked forward to my stories every night because I would lean close to her and pat her back. As long as I was beside her, Y/N could sleep peacefully.

Y/N couldn’t accept my leaving. She would gladly offer me her heart if I asked to devour her. There was a lack of love and safety in her. People were a little friendly to Y/N, she was willing to offer them all of her love and kindness.

Y/N held my face and kissed my lips while pleading with me not to leave her. She was still in tears. Y/N twisted around, shoved me down, and raised her white wrists to my mouth.

- Lee Heeseung, bite me. You can devour me, just please don't go. Don't leave me.

My plan of letting my Cake bring herself to me was achieved. I bit her collarbone and tasted the bleeding skin where my teeth had left their marks before biting somewhere else. My tongue stirred in her mouth, playing with her tongue…

Little tooth marks were highlighted on her white boobs, yet Y/N still insisted on hugging me.

I thought that I would devour Y/N because she was really seductive that challenged my ultimate limit time after time.

But I wouldn't have survived if I had eaten Y/N. We had managed to achieve a symbiotic connection in some way.

Y/N had already fallen asleep. She continued to sob in her dream while encircling my neck with her arms. That pose was very uncomfortable to sleep in. I took her arm, embraced her in my arms, and kissed her forehead.

Good night.

My little Cake.

I will be very thankful to read your feedback so plz don't hesitate to leave it in comment or in anonymous box keke

#heeseung #heeseung smut #enhypen hard hours #enhypen smut #heeseung hard hours #lee heeseung smut #yandere heeseung #heeseung imagines #heeseung x reader #heeseung fanfic

[jubileemon]

The Dark Truth About Valentino

Valentino is overall the most evil character in the "Hazbin Hotel" due to outranking all the others and other high ranking Overlord in general, due to his actions darkening the plot of the series and being based on sexual abusers who are depraved and evil people in real life.

However it's also worth noting that Vox is completely aware of Valentino's many abuses and enables him, even going as far as giving him other Sinners to randomly kill when he loses his temper, but while more comedic in mannerism Vox is considerably more malicious than many give him credit for, using manipulation and power to cause evil from a relative distance rather than Valentino's use of rampant, in-person violence.

WHAT MAKES HIM DESPICABLE?

He is rather abusive to his employee Angel Dust, as he rarely lets him leave his studio. To make this even worse, in the music video ADDICT it's made abundantly clear that Valentino really just sees him as a sex object that he sexually abuses and even assaulted.

To make Valentino's abuse of Angel Dust even worse, it seems that his horrible abuse of Angel Dust left him with PTSD, and it's also revealed he's not above torturing him for sick kinks, as Angel mentions in "Welcome to Heaven" that during one of his filmings Valentino put him through waterboarding.

He throws a tantrum like a baby when he finds out Angel is staying at the Hazbin Hotel and aims to just barge into the hotel with a gun to kill everyone inside of it. He is thankfully called out and stopped by Vox. This scene is partly played for laughs, but mostly just shows how much of an unhinged manchild he is.

In "Masquerade", he greets Charlie by non-consensually licking her arm and then suggesting that she should work for him to shoot porn. This makes Charlie incredibly uncomfortable and declines his offer.

After Charlie accidentally sets his movie set on fire, Valentino calls Angel into his dressing room where he proceeds to repeatedly hit and assault Angel, while also breaking him emotionally by reminding Angel that he owns him due to a binding contract and that there's nothing that he can do about it. Valentino then orders Angel to get rid of Charlie from the movie set.

Charlie witnesses this horrific ordeal and becomes so furious that she was about to go into full demon mode and punish Valentino by beating him up, but is stopped when Angel tells her to leave, showing just how much Val has broken him to the point where he has to defend his abuser.

After Charlie leaves, he then forces Angel to do multiple pornography films against his will, leaving him broken down and traumatized. Given how kind and empathetic Charlie usually is towards sinners regardless of their attitude, this is rather telling of how awful Valentino is even by Hell's standards.

While at a sex club called "Consent" trying to convince a girl into working for him, he encounters Angel Dust and Niffty, with Valentino showing interest in having the latter have a role in his films, and when Angel tells Valentino to leave them alone, he uses his chains on Angel and hit him when he stood up to him, saying that he would make Angel pay for what he did the next day at the studio.

To hammer-in just how vile Valentino is compared to most of Hell, even Asmodeus, who the literal embodiment of LUST, is vocal about hating when it is forced such as love potions, this means that Valentino would likely be deeply disliked by Asmodeus despite Valentino's active love of lustful activities, he can be seen as a dark mirror of Asmodeus in a similar fashion, being the traditionally wicked and depraved aspects of lust (while Asmodeus is much more neutral). For all his vices, Asmodeus has far more decency than Valentino does.

So far, he completely lacks any redeeming traits that Alastor, Vox, Velvette and even Adam at least have, making him easily one of the most detestable antagonists in the entire series. Even other characters in the series seem to despise him, such as Husk, Cherri, and especially Charlie. Only Vox and Velvette seem to tolerate him and consider him their friend, but even then they are constantly annoyed by his temper tantrums.

#vivziepop #hazbin hotel husk #hazbin analysis #valentino #valentino hazbin hotel #hazbin valentino #hazbin hotel valentino #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel angel dust #hazbin angel dust #angel dust #charlie morningstar #asmodeus #helluva boss asmodeus #sin of lust #lust #villain #character writing #cw abuse #hazbin the vees #vox hazbin hotel #hazbin vox

[communistkenobi]

The Managerie as an episode in TOS is so fucking bleak, like it has such a despicable understanding of disability re: what happens to Christopher Pike. The especially horrific thing is that the show seems to take an even more essentialistic view of disability beyond what is understood within the (traditional, deeply problematic) medical conception of disability. Like his disability in the show isn’t even really a “medical” condition. You have this near infinite capacity for medical knowledge in the Star Trek universe, with McCoy having these cure-all instruments and drugs to save people from virtually any ailment, but these medical miracles are completely separated from disability itself. Like, all these medical and technological discoveries still cannot produce a communication device that allows someone who can’t speak verbally to do anything more than beep yes or no at people. And I understand that most of the time McCoy’s medical expertise is used for plot convenience, he’s there to save the day when something whacky happens, but the show doesn’t attempt to think beyond that.

And it’s made explicitly clear that Pike still has the full ability to communicate with and understand people, mobility is the only thing prohibiting him from doing so. And this is framed not as a failure of medical technology, nor even a failure of the social imagination to construct a device for people with mobility limitations to be able to communicate effectively - it’s framed as pure tragedy, something contained fully within the body of Pike himself that cannot be touched by external forces, a tragedy so individual that no outside social or technological devices can overcome it. It goes even beyond the standard ableist trope of “oh look at this disabled person using an assistive device so they can live their life properly, how sad” (which would be horrible enough on its own!), it instead says to the audience that disablement fully prohibits any ability to live your life at all, that medical devices cannot save you - they cannot even help you. I remember when I watched that episode I kept thinking like, dude just build a text-to-speech machine! Just make a magical brain speaking device to attach to his head so he can communicate or something! You’re Star Trek, you’re a utopian space future, McCoy regularly injects people with Cure All Injuries drugs, this isn’t hard!

But the show is epistemically incapable of considering that, because in this universe disability is so essentialised, so deeply contained within the body, so fundamental a fate, that no technology or medicine can touch it. It’s so fucking horrific, and that episode stands out as one of the bleakest ones I’ve seen - not for reasons the episode states (“isn’t it sad he had an accident on the job and can’t move or speak now”), but because the show cannot even entertain the possibility of a future where a workplace accident that disables you physically isn’t an automatic and permanent death sentence. it forwards the idea that disability itself is outside the scope of utopian medicine, which is why Pike’s disability almost doesn’t even feel like a medical construction in the show, it feels like a fully separated class of human being that is fundamentally different to the rest of humanity

#star trek lb #ableism tw #I can’t stop thinking about that episode. like it’s just so vile