#he didnt betray you

[gunstellations]

gentle mornings

#alternatively titled - when your papas have the audacity to cuddle without you #kazurei #buddy daddies #i like to think they didnt really do cuddles much except when rei has a rough night and kazukis warmth and safety is the only thing that #can let him get rid of the anxiety and nightmares #he wouldnt ask for it #it would be kazuki dragging him to bed at first #rei reluctantly but in his weakened will the times hes slept together with miri and kazuki has been the times hes somehow always #managed to go out like a light as soon as his head hits the pillow #even he himself doesnt understand and he doesnt attempt to and he doesnt realise #that its safety and warmth and protection and peace #and thats the only reason he would let himself be dragged to bed #but #eventually when you have had the taste of something so good in the place of chilling nightmares and restless darkness that feels no less #safer than the light #your heart becomes indulgent #and rei will gently and wordlessly ask for an invite to the warmth again #its fulfilling and blissful when the three of them are together #but with just kazukis body enveloping him against the night its a different kind of comfort. even in his sleep he would clutch onto it #thats a tangent right there huh.....anyway. miri would be absolutely betrayed in the morning when she finds them snuggled up #she gets her cuddle time with her papas too then #one big pile of a warm and happy family #yes this is pre relationship yes they would do that yes it is possible #if you got this far thanks i guess jajdjfjs ill hopefully colour this soon but i dont know really so im putting it up here #my art

[just-null-cult]

Kokichi, similar to Noritoshi in the sense that they're analytical and kinda tsun, but that's mostly it. This is another Megumi and Noritoshi situation where, on the surface, they appear to be very similar, but you squint and realize they're extremely different.

Whereas Noritoshi isn't as bold because he still holds remnants of pride, Kokichi is just shy about it since it's so new. He won't back down from it, just hesitate.

[Long ass rambles under the cut! + bonus doodles.]

When referring to shyness, Kokichi leans into the awkward and stiff type. There's always confusion and slight fear in his eyes when he's experiencing something new or romantic. He doesn't want to mess up, but if he does, he just hopes it works in his favor.

Being born in a body where he was under constant pain and stress, someone touching him was the last thing he wanted. He'd never known the loving touch of another because the heavens decided he wasn't allowed to.

After meeting you, that yearning to be next to you became too much. To hell with his restrictions. He'd to do whatever it takes to be able to be with you even if he had to sacrifice others to do it.

In retrospect, he feels like he should've done it sooner. Being touched or even grazed doesn't feel like his skin is falling off anymore.. Plus having both arms and working legs is always a good thing. It's new and odd, but not terrible. His mind never once wandered back and regretted those he's thrown under the bus because why would it?

Unfortunately, when his body was being healed, Mahito made him healthy.. and that's all. Knowing Mahito, he'd leave Kokichi to struggle with catching up to the rest of his peers by working for his own stamina, weight, and strength from square one. Though Kokichi isn't complaining much about it. He'd still take this rather than being stuck in that god forsaken tub for a second longer.

He used to hate being fussed over because of his illness. He prefers to do things on his own and now he can. Yet, Kokichi still gets pitiful looks on other's faces when he's too weak to carry something. It makes him want to spit at them, he can use Mechamaru to do his heavy lifting for now. He doesn't need a beefed up body to do it.

Unless you're the "beefed up" one fussing over him.. He doesn't mind it when it's you. In fact, Kokichi feels grateful when it's you, endeared even. He never feels belittled or pitiful when its you.. Only you.

Judging by how he treated panda for having the ability to interact with others in person despite being a cursed corpse, Kokichi has a number of insults and creative verbal abuse he's ready to spew out once someone tries getting a little too close to you. Scratch that, he's rude in general to those he isn't familiar with.

Kokichi has a lot of anger for those he deems ungrateful. What do you expect from someone who thought he was gonna rot in a bathtub for the rest of his life to do? Not harbor resentment? Luckily, he holds just as much, if not more, love for you who he's unbelievably grateful for!

Your affection is so odd to him, a new experience that he never knew he could grow to yearn for. It's not terrible, quite the opposite. It's so wonderful he can't get enough. Every time you're around, he wants to have at least one hand on you at all times. Doesn't matter where, just as long as he feels you're around. Safe to say, he's extremely touch starved.

Oh how Kokichi would drop everything for a walk with you. He'd use every Mechamaru he had just to make sure no one disturbs either of you. Murder is just a side effect if they get too persistent. He just wants to spend time with you!

Though he likes walks, he still gets out of breath easily. Walking is nice, but he still needs time to get used to it. Offering to help will only cause him to lean against you, it's not too difficult, he doesn't weigh much for better or worse. He loves when you lend him a hand, it's just another reason to get close to you.

When you part, it's only natural that Kokichi gifts you a little trinket he made. Rejecting it will only reward you with the most devastated frown, so just accept it. If you get rid of it when coming home, it somehow always finds its way back to you? Destroying it will lead to Kokichi giving you another one.

Yes, it follows and watches you, but it's just to keep you safe! Who knows what could happen. Whether or not the little trinkets are subtle, all depends on how you reacted to him asking if it was alright to know your location at all times when he's not around. Kokichi is understanding if you're not okay with it. He'll just make his gifts extra subtle so you wont know he's watching.

He just wants to be by your side constantly, even if he's not able to be there in person. Watching you through a screen gives him a sickly familiar feeling in the pit of his stomach, but it's better than not knowing what you're doing. He can even pick up little things about you this way for when he sees you next time! This is nothing but a win-win in his mind even if others beg to differ.

Kokichi never felt blessed. Not once since the day he was born, not until he found you. You who he feels is truly a gift from the heavens. You who he would give up everything to have. In a way, Kokichi is delusional. He sees you as the reason he got a heavenly restriction. It was as if other worldly forces tried to keep him at bay from pursuing you, but you're also the reason he broke his restrictions. He now has the body he wished for thanks to you, his drive, his motivation, his purpose, his love.

[extra shit]

Kokichi’s so fucking low key about being a chuunibyou. you're telling me he named his mech after an anime he watched. half his attacks have ultimate or ultra in the name.. HE MADE A FUCKING MECH. Your ass can't tell me he didn't watch anime while growing up and got inspired to make it a reality. He probably watched Evangelion or something.. Woah, anime dates with him where he makes your favorite creature and uses it to his advantage.. woah.

[Bonus Kokichi verbal abuse]

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #kokichi muta #muta kokichi #kokichi muta x reader #muta kokichi x reader #mechamaru #mechamaru x reader #jjk x reader #welcome mob kun to the cult.. im so sorry that you have to be our sacrificial lamb to these psycho's bullying #tl;dr kokichi is a little shy bc everythin is new but hes still open to everythin. hes just an obsessive freak for you ykyk #i love kokichi.......... dont you love him?? hes so good bro #can you see how hard im snorting copium to make up my au where hes alive #i had to put some yan into him BUT LISTEN TO ME IM NOT EVEN TRYING TO MAKE HIM A FREAK BRO #HES LITERALLY JUST LIKE THAT AND ITS SUCH A SHAME ITS NOT USED MORE #“there was someone who i loved. and i didnt care what happened to the world as long as i could be by her side and protect her” #“even if that girl didnt want me to be the one to protect her.” #HE WAS DOWN TO SACRIFICE THE WORLD?? MF HUH?? YOU WERE GONNA BETRAY EVERYONE BC YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD FIGHT. WIN. AND FIX IT?? #AND YOU WOULD FR STILL BE THERE EVEN IF THE ONE YOU LOVED DIDNT LIKE YOU BACK??? #DUDE????? #WHAT THE FCUK KOKICHI WHAT THE FUCKKKKK #ong idk if theres a handful of kokichi enjoyers out there or its one person asking for him specifically but i see you... #i'll feed you my starving cult member..... #THIS IS THE ONE I POSTED ON ACCIDENT SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY AND MISHAP ANON. I LOVE YOU. #shout out to salsamander who caught me slacking #im not sorry for the LowTierGod reference

[sporadictimetravelgarden]

jet and zuko are the type of people to never admit they are together. like no wtf him ew no way after theyve been together for two years. theyre in their thirties and live together and its like what, us? dating? ha, thats crazy man, like they aren't basically married, and then no one finds out until someone accidentally find an official document that they actually are married, they did it while blackout drunk when they were nineteen and just never annulled it and kind of just stayed together

#atla #jetko #jet #zuko #you know toph already knew #aang may have felt a little betrayed but you know that katara and sokka would think that was hilarious #azula would also already know #zuko probably told his uncle but if he didnt iroh probably does think theyre just two very good friends

[drabbles-of-writing]

I was asked for more Golden Guard ghost memes, and so I share more

the Guards have never met Evelyn because ghost reasons but I know in my heart that any time they see one of the living grimwalkers get a crush they just do a peace sign to the heavens like "still living on, Evelyn!" and Caleb always looks like some mix of confused, offended, and mildly touched. 1, 2, 4, 5, 6

#the owl house #toh #toh memes #memes #previous golden guards #golden guards #caleb wittebane #evelyn clawthorne #emperor belos #philip wittebane #belos #ghosts #grimwalkers #ghost caleb wittebane #ghost golden guards #theres the one aroace guard who is SO INFURIATINGLY PISSED that the entire reason he existed and then died was because some dude got a girl #then got laid. and his brother proceeded to kill him over it. like im sorry THIS IS THE ENTIRE PROBLEM??? ARE YOU PEOPLE FKCING STUPID #make no mistake plenty of others are also peeved about it but my mans strangled caleb on SIGHT like could you NOT JUST KEEP IT TO YOURSELF #that guard is facedown on the ground like i was the perfect guard. didnt even betray. wouldnt have run off to kiss someone. and he killed m #weed guard proceeds to hit blunt like well he wanted us to be caleb. and the fact is that caleb is in love with a witch. no matter how much #he hated it. its physically part of caleb. to remove it is to make something that isnt caleb. he cant clone a new caleb because of obvious #reasons but also because if he did hed still kill it because the real caleb is still someone who left him and loved a witch. he killed the #real caleb for it. you wont kiss a witch so you arent caleb and you need to die. some of us will kiss a witch so we're too much like what #he hated about caleb and we need to die. the 'perfect caleb' isnt caleb its someone entirely new. he knows that. so nothing will ever work #*drags blunt* also you were a try-hard

[tatos-stick-pile]

Hehe fight scenes

Some older doobles and some newer ones ;]

@wtfgaylittlezooid

EAT YOUR SLOP/J

#animator vs animation #ava #alan becker #animation vs minecraft #doobles #good start au #anim vs #avm #the chosen one #the dark lord #THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTING #listen i love fight scenes so much and JUST TEH WAY DOC WRITES IT #good start doesnt mean good run besties #OH AND THIS IS THE FIGHT WHEN DARK PICKS ONE WITH CHOSEN AFTER FEELING FRUSTRAITED AND MAD THAT CHOSEN DIDNT DEFEND HIM DURING VIRABOT ARC #LIKE WEEKS AFTER HE JUST GOT SO MAD HE STARTED BLASTING #imagine feeling betrayed bc ur brother and bestie who ur so close to DOESNT trust you at all to not hurt ur family #couldnt be me its him

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

Thought about Kuron for far too long and started wailing screaming and throwing up blood

#empty thoughts #voltron legendary defender #voltron #kuron #kuron voltron #Kuron vld #vld #vld kuron #voltron kuron #HE DID NOT EVEN KNOW!!!!! #TILL THE END HE BELIEVED HIMSELF TO BE SHIRO!!!!!! #HE WAS A WEAPON CREATED TO BETRAY AND DESTROY HIS FRIENDS AND HE DIDNT EVEN KNOW!!!!! #HE WAS KILLED BY THE ONE WHO HE THOUGHT WAS HIS BROTHER!!! #HIS CREATOR TOOK OVER HIM AND THEN HIS FRIENDS USED HIS BODY TO GET SHIRO BACK!!! #SINCE HIS CREATION HE LOST ANY AND EVERY AGENCY!!! #PAIN!!!!!!!!!!! #DOOMED BY THE NARRATIVE AND WRONGED BY THE NARRATIVE!!! #I AM SO SORRY KURON YOU DESERVED BETTER!!! #I need to blast off into the sun

[canarydarity]

having a normal one watching Bdubs lim life tonight and thinking about how when Bdubs betrayed Tango in last life, Skizz told Tango that for the sake of team best he had to go and forgive him.

But when Bdubs boogey kills Skizz in lim life before team ties is even really formed, Skizz is allowed to have it out for Bdubs for almost the entire first half of the season, even when the clockers ally with them and it would've been easier to let sleeping dogs lie.

Tango, the perpetually extraneous and undervalued member of his alliances...the too often shoved aside and betrayed...being told it was his duty to the team to forgive bdubs and move on....

But no one—especially not Tango—tried to tell Skizz to let it go.

#and like. now im thinking about how no one is ever really ride or die for tango. ever #people are allied with him but no one PRIORITIZES him #as a team rancher fan myself id be tempted to argue Jimmy is but you can just as easily point to how that was in a way self serving #and I dont just mean with the soulmate mechanic so worrying about tango was worrying about himself for jimmy #but i mean it in the way of jimmy was so worried about tango because #jimmy was worried about HIMSELF being the thing that hindered him and dragged him down #whihc is not to say that jimmy didnt also worry about tango #but it is to say that the dl rule set played heavily on jimmys insecurities and fears #he was most of the time worried about himself. YES because of how that affected tango. but also because it served his guilt complex #and so his intentions were colored by that as someone whos incredibly willing to make himself the problem whenevr he sees fit #whihc is again nothing on him hes my fave ya know i love the guy #i just mean even in double life where by design it shouldve happened tango wasnt made anyones top priority #not in the way that we come to see it across many other pairs. not in the obsessive worrying about his safety #or just in the general Being Weird About Each Other Way #sure you could argue skizz and tango last life...tango was for a while skizzs priority—until skizz shifted his sights to team best #even when team best wasnt giving their all backt o him that was skizzs focus #and if tango were really his priority over the wellbeing of the team such as it was for bdubs and etho #skizz wouldnt have tried to make tango forgive bdubs after he was betrayed #skizz wouldnt have kept asking tango to give more and more to a team he got little if not nothing out of over and over.....just #GAH! NO ONES EVER DEVOTED TO TANGO!!! NO ONE EVER CHOOSES TANGO TO BE THEIR //PERSON// THEIR. HES NEVER SOMEONES TOP PRIORITY #again im nto saying teh ranchers werent devoted to each other you know i love them more than anything in the whole world #i just mean. not in exactly the way i mean.... #and not completely when jimmy was so (understadnably) preoccupied with trying not to carry on his curse again #especially while attached to someone else #worm says

[lemongogo]

tried 2 heal duke ravengard by throwing a potion @ him but it fucking bludgeoned the guy and wyll left my party FOREVERR .?

#i cnt do anything right in this goddamned game #I JFSNAHHAJAJAHAGAGACA #LIKW WHEN IT WAS HIS TURN I KEPT LOOKING ANRD THE MAP FOR HIM I WAS LIKE HUHHH #BC IT DIDNT EVEN SAY LIKE ‘you betrayed wyll’ OR ANYTHING HE JUST LEFTT #so funny too bc i was recording his cutscene right before w mizora n its like two mins of me scrolling #where did u go darling . #bro took the sub n left us all 2 die ig HELPPDH #wyll #bg3

[blubujollyrancher]

furina and focalors are both so tragic, focalors for having power and furina for having none. focalors for wanting to be furina and furina for wanting to be focalors. focalors wanted to be human but was chosen to fill the role of a god, while furina was forced to live and suffer endlessly for 500 years with no power to stop it. i want to cup them gentlee in my hands

#4.2 spoilers #genshin impact #focalors #furina #crying #ifk if this is coherent i took 100mg of benadryl #thats not even a joke #i want to sleep #anyway #love em #dies #oh yrah i didnt even mention my thoughts on neuvi amd furina #they also make me insane #imagine the one constant for ur 500 year long life being just a complete lie #and on the other side also imagine ur 500 year long constant essentially betraying u in front of ur entire nation #although obviously i understand why he did it #they are just so tragic my gods #i like to think neuvi definitely visits furina like near daily LMAO #he's like “miss furina after being informed you have only been eating #macaroni for three weeks straight i have thoughtfully prepared you a three-course meal with ingrediants #selectfully chosen to deliver proper nutrition you have been missing since leaving.“ #“monsiuer it is three am.” #“... apologies” #or somethin HELP

[waroferas]

(trying not to run head-first into the nearest wall) ravio is cool . i like ravio

#honestly . i did not ever expect to take him for serious #i already knew that he (SPOILERS.......................) was the lorule counterpart to link but i didnt understand what that meant overall #i just thought he was funny!!! this isnt funny anymore man . i keep pausing to put my head in my hands irl. he found his courage #lorule in general is making me sick . one of the first things hilda tells you abt it is that it looks similar to your world. but it isnt #lorule is not an exact copy. or even like a shadow . its is its own parallel world. hilda does not betray you because zelda wouldnt #hilda betrays you bc she feels like it was her last option. zelda insists that she understands hilda's actions bc she might have done the #same if she were that desperate to do good by her kingdom. myyy god #AND RAVIO. he isnt cowardly because link is heroic. that isnt how it works. he just had a different perspective #maybe he didn't take hilda on himself. but he did still take action by guiding link to taking down hilda behind the scenes #and what is link about if not action? what does zelda strive for if not caring of her kingdom? goodness. #i feel weird saying “ravio is a link at heart” but only because it goes both ways. two sides of the same coin. link is a ravio at heart. #same goes for zelda and hilda #frogtxts

[bottombaron]

I'm starting to wonder if there is actually something legit about the 'right time' to turn Guillermo that Nandor keeps talking about...

It was brought up again in the premiere and something about how Guillermo said that "deep down I'm not ready [to become a vampire]" before Derek jumped him...

...what if Nandor hasn't actually been putting it off for no reason...what if there is actually a 'right moment' for it and this whole time we were thinking that moment had to do with Nandor being ready but what if it's about Guillermo being ready??

#wwdits #what we do in the shadows #guillermo de la cruz #also my last post didnt show in the tags wtf now i have to do it again #i have so many Thoughts about s5 that im kind of overwhelmed tbh lol #also also...Nandor waiting for the right time...like...what if he actually really wants to turn Guillermo too #but hes afraid he'll get it wrong or its never at that moment... #what if it has to do with Guillermo's well being and the place hes at mentally and emotionally #and at the end of s3 he showed how he could be strong and self reliant and stand up for himself so Nandor was going to do it #but humans aren't static (but vampires are???) and all Guillermo's insecurity bubbled up again and now Nandor's got to wait again #BUT ALSO??? I JUST REALIZED THAT I DONT REMEMBER GUILLERMO EVEN ASKING NANDOR AGAIN PRE GOING TO DEREK #NANDORS GOING TO BE LIKE EXTRA BETRAYED BECAUSE HE DIDNT EVEN REJECT GUILLERMO BEFORE HE WENT TO SOMEONE ELSE??? #...i told you i have a lot of thoughts...

[hatchet-boy]

I'm. Ok so Lucifer and Chuck's relationship is sending me absolutely bonkers insane.

"You were my father, and you forsook me."

"I did. I was supposed to love all of creation equally. I wasn't supposed to have favourites. But you...

You were Mine.

I gave you the mark because I loved you the most. Because I thought you were strong enough to bear it. And when I saw that I was wrong, when I watched my choice, devour my.. most cherished son- I hated myself. And so I punished you.

And I am so, sorry."

#like jesus fucking christ #'you were mine' gughhjggujhhh #lucifer was his!!!!! gods most cherished!! his favourite!!!!!!!!!!!! #no wonder he became evil and morally corrupted he had gods love above all other things ripped away from him!! #and lucifer loved god above all other things!!! all of his other creations HE was the favourite! #BUT LUCI DIDNT KNOW HE WAS CHERISHED. HE ONLU KNEW THAT HE WAS BETRAYED LOCKED AWAY. #NOT UNTIL BILLIONS OF YEARS LATER DID HE KNOW HE WAS LOVED #feeling a lil crazy rn cant lie #spn #chuck as god #chuck and lucifer #lucifer #supernatural

[fitzrove]

Gustav Fröhlich as Freder Fredersen and Erwin Biswanger as Georgy, worker no. 11811 in Metropolis (1927, dir. Fritz Lang)

#when you homoerotically save a worker in your dad's plant from dying of exhaustion so he homoerotically saves your life from the angry mob #by sacrificing himself. we need movies to be like this again #ajdjdj i didnt gif that part but in between georgy betrayed him and went to the night club to party in his rich guy disguise #he had a change of heart though #metropolis #films #my gifs

[thedeepweb]

wheres that post about how everything about dio is hilarious. he was trapped in a custom made coffin for 100 years and apparently brought a book and pen with him to write a diary, where he correctly guessed the coordenates in which gravity is lighter, went to visit that place after freed. got 3 women pregnant in the meanwhile. wrote how his children had to be strong, like him, so they should have "evil" (bad) childhoods, like him. guessed correctly again and created 4 insanely powerful stand users. one of them is eternally resentful to life because he couldn't go to disney and developed his stand so everyone in orlando, florida, can be haunted by the dead. the other has the power to literally create and uncreate life, and at 15 not only became *the* mafia boss of italy, but gained the power to put people into ever looping alternative universes, for eternity. the other two can control an ancient flesh eating swarm of creatures and bring every single illustrated character to life, respectively, but theyre not that important.

back to gravity, in his travel to florida he sneaked into a church to avoid sunlight. got caught by a 16 year old altar boy/priest in training. told him he was allergic to sunlight. was so absolutely drunk in his god complex that went "well i dont feel anything strong right now but clearly if you are meeting Me it must be fate so hit me up when you want to become powerful" then leaves while doing the ricardo turn

and that 16 year old? grew up to be what is considered the most competent villain in all of jojos. which means he guessed correctly, again

#jjba #he testes the priest's faith in him and his plan to gain heaven (he wants to gain heaven bc he's bored) and basically his faith in him #and the kid goes i could never betray you i love you as i love god. and dio goes :) wow :) congrats youre an excellent child of god :) #which like both semantically and contextually he didnt friendzone him no no he straight up son-zoned him #then he rips off a toe bone and gives it him and leaves #he drives me insane nothing about this man is normal

[peppermintpegis]

netflix one piece live action feels a little like fanfic in that it makes sure it hits all the important notes but doesnt do all the work to make them hit which works in fic where the reader is supposed to bring all the emotional story investment from the original but doesnt work in a multi million adaptation that is supposed to be able to stand on its own or even serve as an intro to the series. it even does this in service to have more koby and helmeppo gay moments in this essay i w

#one piece #opla #the fleshing out of koby and helmeppo is like honestly good its a beacon of light its truly really fun #and all the actors are great it is just what they are given . #they didnt let nami do any real betraying. they didnt even have her steal the merry!! she just stole the map that they added in!!!! #ddont get me started on the gutting of sanjis intro. i dont give a shit about if don krieg appears or not i need to see this guy fuckin #feed the hand thats about to kill him im going to start shaking like a dog. #im almost madder krieg appeared for just a little id rather have that time be used for. anything else really. #like have one of arlongs guys starved half to death when they get to arlong park!or idk anything! no gin appears look its gin! you know him #sanji doesnt even get to beat the shit out of a shitty guest. like i guess he does a little but it feels so blink and you miss it #+the first like two eps were good!! buggys great hes scary and weird and fun. i dont mind that he sticks around longer in theory #but the way he is comedic relief instead of basically every character having funny bits is like. ahghhhgggg. its a symptom of this really #mean and edgy feeling the whole thing has. like the removal of people missing usopps pirate calling :( and how cocoyashi didnt know #nami was working to help them. like p. please. can we have caring and bonds in this world?? trust and love??? #anyway. sorry for having expectations of a netflix show im so close to putting this into a more proper form rather than tags. just to get i #all out of my system cause fuck man. #anyway solid 7/10 not as bad as it couldve been

[mishapen-dear]

(ao3)

The worst thing, Bad knows, is the way that nothing changes. 

The clouds move slow across the sky, gentle giants on an eternal trek. The waters dance with fish; the brooks burble and sing. Grass grows. Sheep eat. Grass regrows. 

On, and on, and on, and on. 

Bad breathes in, slow, and holds it. 

It’s enough to go mad over. To become enraged for. To rip everything down just so that everything can match the- the keening lack in his heart. Grass grows. Grass has always grown. There is nothing that could ever stop grass from growing. 

His hands are curled into the ground at his sides. He clutches handfuls of the wretched plant and pulls, almost gently, and doesn’t snap a single blade.

He exhales, slow, and doesn’t inhale again. What point is there? He’s alone. No one will know whether or not he needs to breathe. He’s been alone before- days that Dapper doesn’t wake up, days where the other eggs are with their other parents. Days where he falls asleep in his chair and the ghosts are left to amuse themselves. He’s been alone before. 

He’s lost before. 

There is a sob in his throat. He refuses to let it out. It chokes him, and he takes another deep breath to try to settle it. 

There’s always- he misses Skeppy. Of course he misses Skeppy. He can’t lose Skeppy, but Skeppy isn’t here.

Dapper isn’t here. Pomme isn’t here. Richarlyson. Leo. Ramon. Chayanne. Tallulah. They’re-

Bad tears the grass out of the ground. He stares at his hands, dark claws curled around torn green plant. He tries to imagine the grass is white fur instead, but he can’t find the enthusiasm. That’s okay. The anger will be back later. 

He just- he can’t feel much beyond the loss, right now. The lack. The empty, quiet island where sheep eat grass and clouds keep moving and no eggs place any signs at all. That’s not okay, but he knows that, at least, will change. That’s how grief works. The world ends, and you end with it, and while you claw yourself up from the rubble the world ends again and sends you back under, and then again, and then again, but by the third go around you know what the tremors look like. You start to predict where it hurts the most. Then the world keeps ending but the ending just becomes a part of your world, and sometimes everything shakes but you shake with it and it’s not okay but it’s better. You get so used to the shaking that sometimes you forget that your world ever ended at all. 

How long will it take for him to forget them? 

Bad leans forwards, slowly, until he slumps into a miserable little puddle of limbs. He presses his cheek into the cool grass and when the sob rises up again he bites it back with teeth. The sun is blocked by a sombrero, now fallen awkwardly over his face, that Foolish had cheerfully placed on his head hours before. Bad doesn’t know why Foolish had put it there- except he does, and he’d seen it in the in the slightest tremor of Foolish’s smile, and so he’d kept it on. 

He can’t see them, but he can hear them laughing. Mouse, Jaiden, and Foolish, just around the corner. There have been so many people ‘just around the corner’ today. They’re so loud. They’re not the right type of loud. He feels guilty for the way that they’re comforting him, that he’s taking up their time, and then he feels angry that he feels guilty because he remembers the cage, and he knows what he really means to them, and-

They’re still here. The eggs are gone, and they’re still here. 

Forever isn’t here. 

Forever hasn’t given him a gift basket yet. 

…

…It doesn’t work. It’s a close thing, though- there’s a flicker of irritation at the thought of Forever’s awful, handsome face. Not anger, not nearly enough emotion to fill the void that is Bad’s heart, but maybe it could be. He’ll try again tomorrow. Isn’t that fun? Isn’t that something? There’s so much emotion he can’t feel any of it at all. 

Maybe it’s a bad dream. There were no remains. There was just Dapper’s top hat, and Pomme’s beret. No shell, no dead eggs. No eggs. It’s driving him mad, the maybe-yes maybe-no nature of his children’s fate.

He thinks, maybe, that tomorrow he will build a drill. 

Today, the world is dark beneath the sombrero, and the grass is scratchy and full of small twigs. Foolish laughs once, too loud. Automatically, Bad pushes himself up, because he knows Foolish, and knows how long he’s been away from the group, and he feels sick. He fumbles for his warpstone and- Foolish’s head pops around the corner- Bad freezes. Too late. 

Foolish looks at him, grin bright and neverending. Bad looks back. He can’t bring himself to say anything- he drops the sombrero at their feet. 

Foolish’s smile fades. Bad activates his warpstone again and, though the particles, he sees Foolish give him a sharp, left-handed salute. Bad can’t bite back his little laugh; Foolish knows him, too.

And then Foolish is gone. The world is purple. Then the world ends, once again, in Bad’s home. All of Dapper’s machines have stopped. Echoing noise to almost-echoing silence. Ah. Right. None of the island’s machines are working correctly. Bad will have to make a smaller drill. But he will build his drill, and he will dig, and he will find his son. 

“Dapper?” he calls, his voice cracking. The sound echoes. Only the animals answer back- they’re the only thing that stops the base from being completely silent. Grass grows. Sheep eat. Grass regrows. There’s so many animals here. What good company. It occurs to Bad, suddenly, that they’re good company. Dapper is gone, and his animals are still here, and Bad- 

He won’t kill Dapper’s pets. He is suddenly holding his scythe and he won’t hurt his son’s pets because he can’t trade them for his son and there’s a special sort of heartache to the fact that his son left behind instructions to machines that don’t work and so many animals that can’t keep Bad company the way Dapper kept him company and Bad- 

He’s holding his scythe. He’s holding the Sunshine Protector. He tries to take a breath but it comes out stuttery and he bites his tongue and. Dapper was-is always so sweet. He made Bonnie to keep Bad company, and Bad is always haunted by little ghosts but now most of all he is haunted by the love of his son. 

“Where are you?” His voice cracks on the third word. He stumbles to Dapper’s room and doesn’t think about the fact that they never got to build one for Pomme.  

The hole in his heart could swallow an island. 

Please don’t take- 

The scythe gets left outside. Bad can’t bear to look at it. Protector. There is a secure door in front of him that keeps nothing secure because now there is nothing to protect and Bad- 

-my sunshine away. 

He falls to his knees next to the empty bed. He chokes out, “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you, Dapper.”

When the sob rises again, he lets it.

#qsmp #mishapen words #qsmp badboyhalo #first qsmp fic YIPPEEE #and its about #child death #and #angst #YIPPEEE #or child-missing lmao #i dont think the eggs are dead but i do think this is an uh oh #fun fact i started this a few weeks ago and then picked it up again after the uh. you know #VERY pleased with myself with my bbh read and predicting he'd be p quiet i love it when i can understand these weirdass cubes #the contradictions throughout weren't intentional until i realized they were happening and i leaned into it #i bet bad chose 'you are my sunshine' as a song for dapper SPECIFICALLY because then he could sing and cry about the second verse #after he lost his very fragile egg #which. i hope he never has to do that again that broke my fucking heart #he's just... qbad is an immortal who has grieved before but then he found skeppy and didnt have to keep grieving and now skeppy is gone and #his kids are gone and all he has left are his friends who he feels very betrayed by but who are all so. fucking kind about the loss #and they all lost their children but just like jaiden said he's like a third parent to all the eggs #he lost his kids and his bonus kids and he once sunk a city but what is the grief of thousands of strangers compared to the grief of #seven little eggs he loved so dearly #one little egg he would protect over skeppy #just....... idk its v late im gonna schedule this post i dont know if im making sense but the EGGS #the BADBOYHALO #the grief :c