#thats not even a joke

[blubujollyrancher]

furina and focalors are both so tragic, focalors for having power and furina for having none. focalors for wanting to be furina and furina for wanting to be focalors. focalors wanted to be human but was chosen to fill the role of a god, while furina was forced to live and suffer endlessly for 500 years with no power to stop it. i want to cup them gentlee in my hands

#4.2 spoilers #genshin impact #focalors #furina #crying #ifk if this is coherent i took 100mg of benadryl #thats not even a joke #i want to sleep #anyway #love em #dies #oh yrah i didnt even mention my thoughts on neuvi amd furina #they also make me insane #imagine the one constant for ur 500 year long life being just a complete lie #and on the other side also imagine ur 500 year long constant essentially betraying u in front of ur entire nation #although obviously i understand why he did it #they are just so tragic my gods #i like to think neuvi definitely visits furina like near daily LMAO #he's like “miss furina after being informed you have only been eating #macaroni for three weeks straight i have thoughtfully prepared you a three-course meal with ingrediants #selectfully chosen to deliver proper nutrition you have been missing since leaving.“ #“monsiuer it is three am.” #“... apologies” #or somethin HELP

[polteergeistt]

The square that Vessel makes with his fingers when he sings "and these days I'm a picture frame" is a fortnite emote.

#thats not even a joke #the emote makes a larger square but its basically the same #sleep token #sleep token band #sleep token vessel #vessel #vessel sleep token

[shibe-myths]

not fun update

It was decided to delete my side blog. Because it got immediately shadowbanned last night. So there will only be two blogs. Depending on how long this shadowban business lasts, I suggest sending all asks/messages to @shibieswrites

#update #thats not even a joke #shibescreams #fuck it #tumblr shadowban

[separatist-apologist]

Wait what is “ impales my ex onto a gate all because he saw me that one time” from ma’am??? Sorry I’m a fake fan lol

They Say I Did Something Bad

#its actually the subplot that took me and LB from casual pals #to passionate lovers #i wrote that subplot for her #it was a turning in my anti-rhys sentiment #thats not even a joke

[duvidha-mp3]

friends from my old school complaining about their graduation robe colour and material etc seeing that they've done it better this year and im just here like 🚶 didn't have graduation or farewell our school just told us to get out after our final exam

#mine #thats not even a joke #they told kids to leave the dorm right after the exam

[sigynsilica]

Literally the entirety of Captain America: Civil War would've been solved by any of the characters googling exactly how long it takes for a panel on the UN to get anything done/what exactly the UN is allowed to do in general

Like first of all, the UN is not a government. It doesn't have the jurisdiction to send anything more than the peacekeepers, and that only after a full meeting of all the world leaders who'd be affected. The team would have to wait for the world leaders to be flown in to a designated meeting place, and then bicker about necessity of intervention for literally days on end, even if they did wind up wanting you to go somewhere

Imagine if you'd had to wait seven to nine business days before even suiting up in ANY of the movies

There would be no United Nations except the One United Nation of Midgard that Loki is in charge of.

And look who was actually calling the shots when it came down to it? Who sent Tony and the rest of them after Cap when he defected?

Thaddeus Ross.

No panel of UN. Not even more than one person. Just the guy who pitched it to them in the first place — the same dude who actively tried to murder Bruce for not being able to be controlled.

The real question is why the heck anyone believed him in the first place. He literally walked in, told them he didn't get a sense of perspective from any of his years in the army and instead got it from a close brush with his own mortality WHILE GOLFING, insulted all of them, trauma-triggered several of them (HE PLAYED FOOTAGE OF SOKOVIA IN FRONT OF WANDA AS IF THAT WASNT HER HOME BEING DESTROYED AND THE TIME HER BROTHER GOT KILLED), compared their team members to mislaid physical weapons, threatened them, and then demanded they be controlled.

He is your common-or-garden Rich, Power-Hungry, Hyper-Militant Politician.

I mean I get that Tony was desperate to fix his mistakes, but damn. I thought the first part of his job description was "genius". He just swallowed everything Ross spoon-fed to him with zero (0) critical thinking skills or even a thirty-second google??

ALSO

ON TOP OF THAT

AS IF THAT WASNT BAD ENOUGH

The Accords hadn't been ratified yet. That meant nothing had been signed yet. No one has signed the agreement, but several nations had agreed to it. Without signing anything, that just means those nations publicly SAID it was a good idea. Nobody is dumb enough to make such a huge world-changing decision without at least telling the people it affects, especially if there's only like ten of them. They went to Dublin TO RATIFY THE ACCORDS

BECAUSE IT WASNT SET IN STONE YET

It just gave Ross a better power play to pretend like it was, so he'd have the Avengers under his thumb by pretending they were already out of time to actually make a stand against it by the time they learned of the document's existence.

It was never submit or quit. That's just how Ross played it, even though he said himself that it wasn't ratified yet. And because of that, the Avengers who didn't stand with the Accords DIDNT EVEN SHOW UP TO THE UN MEETING TO DEFEND THEIR CASE

Just because Ross told them it was too late.

Kinda brilliant on Ross' part, but also immensely stupid on everyone else's.

#Marvel #captain america #ca:cw #Civil War #thaddeus ross #Tony Stark #sokovia accords #i fricking hate that man #he ruined everything #MCU #ALSO THE LAST TIME THE GOVERNMENT TRIED TO DEAL WITH AN AVENGERS LEVEL THREAT #THEY TRIED TO NUKE NEW YORK CITY #THATS NOT EVEN A JOKE #IF IT WASNT FOR THE AVENGERS #THE USA GOVERNMENT WOULDVE KILLED EVERYONE IN MANHATTAN

[redrobin-detective]

I think one underrated tragedy of Ice King's scars is that he probably took away Simon's sense of levity.

Like in his very limited appearances before Simon is consumed by the crown we see he's kind of a silly dude. In his introduction video, he only put on the crown in order to playfully tease his fiancee. Plus watching him make light of the loneliness and general misery for a young girl in a broken world. He was a dedicated man, who was generous and loved with his whole heart and threw himself one hundred percent into everything he did. He was also a fun lil guy.

But after almost a millennia of being a mad man, the brunt of every joke, someone who only existed as a broken caricature of himself and couldn't be counted on to take anything seriously, I imagine he was done with it. Now he wants to focus back on his academic endeavors, on his role as a father figure in Marcy's life, on being a proper adult. Any attempts to be silly could easily remind everyone - including himself- of Ice King, something he's eager to avoid.

So his jokes and jibes and general lightheartedness turned to sarcasm and self deprecating comments.

#watching him in simon & marcy compared to Fionna and cake #like he is handling the two stressful situations totally differently #fionna and cake #simon petrikov #adventure time #like this was a dedicated historian but hes also a fun guy! #and then he spends a thousand years as the worlds biggest punchline #and suddenly he doesnt WANT to be funny anymore #he wants to be serious and taken seriously #and to separate himself from IK as much as possible #he thinks of a silly joke and immediately quashes it #like its not just his obvious depression in F&C #it really feels like new Simon is trying very hard to not be that guy anymore #no wonder he feels lost hes purposefully divorcing himself from a part of who he'd been even before the crown #ive binged a ton of AT eps the last few days I could be wrong but thats the vibe I get

[animutate]

not even a second into the video dear god

#THATS NOT EVEN A JOKE #it starts in the fnaf office or whatever

[maskofnova]

The other homestuck post I had in me, its the year of the cringe weirdo couple, my beloveds.

#homestuck #meowrails #meowrail #equius zahhak #nepeta leijon #its pale romance hours #i hated them in the comic when i started but now i would kill for them #homestuck did em dirty #but thats what fanfic and fanart is for #even though there is shockingly little of either for them and it makes me so so so sad #relegated to background characters only #i cant fully blame them though like equius is the worst but ive come to like him when i think of him outside of his joke aspects #hes the definition of crack taken seriously #mogs art

[batcavescolony]

Bart: I was bored and reading about deities of the world,

Tim: as you do

Bart: yeah, and you know how Cassie is part Greek God?

Cassie: do I want to know where this is going?

Bart: do you think if we started giving her offerings and worshipping her she'd turn into a full Goddess?

Kon: don't know till we try! OH GODDESS! Accept my offering *throws gummies at Cassie*

Cassie: *smiling with a pack of gummies* you joke but I'm keeping these.

Tim: *not looking up from his phone* oh Goddess Cassie, please let us have a peaceful day.

Cissie: *walking into the room* ?

Kon: we're worshiping Cassie to see if we can make her a Goddess.

Cissie: oh ok, merciful and beautiful Goddess-

Cassie: *laughing*

Cissie: -please grant me knowledge on my next exam because SOMEONE *glares at all of them* keeps pulling me into Young Justice mission's and I haven't studied *drops down in a chair and tosses her a bracelet* my offering.

Cassie: *still laughing* knowledge granted.

#even better it works and thats why they're all 17 still even though they should be in their 20s. she made them her imortal companions. #comics #dc comics #robin #tim drake #cassie sandsmark #wonder girl #cissie king jones #arrowette #bart allen #impulse #kon el #conner kent #superboy #young justice 98 #young justice #young just us #this is the shit they would do #its also a yj98 joke that bart would just read books to learn things when he was bored. like he learned lip reading and drawing etc #just randomly read things and learn new skills #young justice comics #cissie will worship her friend if she gets a good grade out of it. #fic ideas #incorrect quotes #incorrect young justice quotes #incorrect young justice 98 quotes #Cassie going Dionysus mode. shes started a cult before this one will just be about her this time.

[ffc1cb]

played thru all of zero escape games recently... it was an experience

#uhhm. aheem heem #zero escape 999 #virtue's last reward #zero time dilemma #zero escape #clover field #sigma klim #phi zero escape #luna zero escape #junpei tenmyouji #akane kurashiki #carlos ztd #oh god #quark vlr #thats everylne i think #art stuff #should i tag anything here as spoilers. the joke about carlos isnt even accurate #anyway luna best ze character ever. no im not biased towards [spoiler]. i just think shes neat. and also i love [spoiler]

[nevoono]

not to be dramatic but . one piece makes me feel like i love being alive actually.

#one piece #i did not ever have so much fun in any kind of show before . i love one piece. i love u luffy #im also mentally ill but thats not important!!! gear 5 . what a lad #the day is started one piece many years ago life was worth living again im not even joking #nvi.txt

[shibe-myths]

What is Peri’s favourite snacks

god hearts.

#perierat #peri #thats not even a joke #homie eats gods #Alot #lichask #lichgate #forgotten tales

[berrymeter]

if i see you fuckers try to give jkr’s new book the “morbius treatment” i’m going to end you. morbius was a mediocre film no one cared about & it did have jared leto which made it suck more but the film itself wasn’t anything noteworthy afaik, however this book is filled to the brim with bigotry & i would fucking hate to see it get more attention because you morons tried to be funny about a transmisogynist who is actively contributing to worsening the lives of trans women everywhere & especially the UK. think for a fucking second

editing this because some of you are insufferable. i am jewish, disabled, autistic & plural. i know she is all flavours of fascist. this post is specifically bringing up the biggest reason why giving her a platform is bad: the legislations that use her writing as a way to push their claims are specifically anti-trans. i am begging you all to honest to god shut the fuck up & stop expecting this post to be informational on what she's done wrong because that is NOT the purpose. if you want a post citing every wrong deed she's committed, go reblog one. this isn't it. if you dislike my wording so much, steal my post & edit it for yourself.

#perth.txt #also i'm not transfem but as a trans person nonetheless why the fuck would i wanna hear about this book?? #joke or not i DONT want to hear about it. i wanna hear about it tank & thats the end of it. #now the amount of ppl who didnt & still dont know leto is a cult leader is concerning still #but i dont think he made money off the sales? unsure how actors' contracts work #now worth mentioning it still did give him some more visibility but again not enough that ppl even know what he does

[cozylittleartblog]

diversity win your spam emails are queer

#deltarune #spamton #swatch #art #doodles #pansexual #bigshot spamton #stupid joke ive had sitting in my head for months whjbfghbjdfg. artist brain override gay brain (me too). good for him though!! #me refilling my printer ink tanks: omg my printer is pan... soooo coool.... #and dont forget that he owned the mettaton dress of transgenderism either. arguably this has the trans flag colors too #wait theres a car joke here also. TransAm? more like TransPan. haha nice #+ his glasses fit the theme so Bonus Spam + i changed my 90s swat a little again #they're just gonna be different every time i draw them. for funsies. and thats fine. i havent even posted 90s queen yet SMFH !!!!! #there's something to be said about metaphors in their 90s fashion choices. something something more colorful design back then #something something not hiding their eyes yet something something Learned A Lesson.... #you could read that a certain way. or perhaps not #obligatory 'my swatch uses they them' tag #obligatory 'fine to tag as ship if you want idc' tag #obligatory 'oh god i swear im trying so hard to draw and post more' tag #i saw a tag on a post from like 2019 that said 'man i only posted 9 times last month!' and im like. god. i wish i could post 9 times a #month Now???? honey you had a big storm comin #i just keep starting things i dont have the energy to finish. except for a silly gay color profile joke apparently #im sure the Smoke Smell goes reeeal good with the Dumpster Smell btw.

[asaethiel]

1/2 of the messiest polycule in the queer housing facebook group AKA i just finished imperial radch

#ancillary justice #imperial radch #breq #justice of toren #seivarden vendaai #it is my personal belief that when breq shaves her head in AS thats the first time her hair has been cut in 20 years #fanart #digital #feb24 #actual art #anyway im deeply obsessed w these two. psychosexually so. crawling around inside their weird little dynamic #tfw ur autistic+asexual+a bitch and u trauma bond with this girl who u don't even LIKE & then she keeps asking u to dom her w/o a safeword #(i joke but fr the way they care for+care about each other makes me rlly emotional. and when u add ship into the mix. weeps)