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#have shitty but fun low effort memes
smashwolfen · 3 months
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Woke up to Looker saying this in masters and I was possessed to make this quick thing XD
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mak1lol · 4 months
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This is a vent/rant post, tbh idk if anyone would care anyways
Sometimes i really just hate putting alot of effort on my drawings, as i feel like they dont get the love that my low effort post do.
Lets use this drawing as an example
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This drawing took me 5 hours, how many notes do you think this post will have tho? Probably 30, 50, 40 etc.
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8...8 notes. 5 hours, 8 notes..
Now look at this post, probably made 20 minutes and BOOMED 225 NOTES-
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You can see the problem, i work so hard on my drawings only to get flopped by the internet. And then i make something shitty only to get viral.
I"ve been on tumblr for over a year now and i havent been growing lately. Its been incredibly tough too upload constantly without being scared of being floped.
And i never feel like im welcomed to any community, as my personal post (like my birthday post and vents) usualy get little reconition. Im still greatfull to my followers and friends i made here and im glad you all are here to comfort me when im at my lowest!! But....at this rate idk if i want to post on tumblr anymore
I get little asked and little followers (and took me a YEAR to get atleast 100 while some might take months) and its not fun for me anymore. And if im being honest, i really dont like ppl who put such low effort only to get hundreds of likes (unless if its memes or shitty post thats funny its fine for me)
Im a 12 year old artist, trying to improve and maybee get more popular. But my motivation for doing art here (and other platforms) is very low and i honestly want to make art JUST for myself and my friends...
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ixcaliber · 1 year
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May
Oh fuck oh god it’s Zelda month
1. Search All - Foxes
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I have been enjoying playing chill find all the hidden objects type games recently so I couldn’t resist getting this one filled with foxies to find.
So this is a single scene with roughly 100 foxies hidden in it. It took about 10 minutes or so to find all of the foxes. This game was on a big discount but regularly costs more than the I Commissioned Some Bees series regularly does, and those games offer 10 full scenes.
What I will say in this game’s favour is that a) the scene is really good. It has a nice black and white sketchy aesthetic. I like the busy streets, i like the way the perspective curves. it’s a very pleasant scene to search through. and b) the foxes are part of the scene and don’t disappear when found. In Bees for example, and also A Building Full of Cats, the scenes feel like complete works that then have the findable objects overlaid onto them and then the bees or cats disappear when you find them. Here the foxes are highlighted red but they remain as they are an intrinsic part of the scene.
Having said that this game and the others in its series just don’t offer as much value as other hidden object games.
Once I’d found all the foxes ten achievements all popped at once and I was suddenly put in mind of those weird low effort achievement spam games that exist for some reason. It was this weird vibe that led me to discover the other games in this series such as Search All - Adult where you find all the hidden dicks and Search All - Bitcoin where you find all the shitty memes. So yeah this game is trash or at the very least adjacent to trash, so close to the trash pile that I feel a little unclean for having played and enjoyed it.
2. Oneiros
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I’m pretty sure only I remember Only If - a semi-fascinating disaster of a video game where an irritating teen boy protagonist navigates an absolutely incoherent world while being shouted at by an equally irritating mobster dad antagonist. This game isn’t a one to one comparison - there’s no foul mouthed mobster dad to constantly call you an idiot, though there is a bird that has very similar energy in one of the levels - but it is surprisingly close.
Its closest to an escape the room kind of puzzle game. You spend most of your time searching for keys, passcode fragments or components to rebuild your car, and occasionally sometimes you just get dragged into sections where you wander around an ugly abstract maze or brought to an empty void to do some gravity changing based platforming for a little bit. All while listening to the irritating and unrelenting commentary of the protagonist whose voice seems engineered to present maximum self satisfied douche vibes.
Given the name and how this game describes itself as surreal it’s kind of surprising that the environments you encounter are 1) movie theatre 2) your own bedroom 3) maze with ugly patterns on the walls 4) empty blue void 5) the outside of your house but its on a floating island 6) the same movie theatre as earlier but with a harsher polygonal filter over everything. Every environment is either so mundane or so abstract as to be uninteresting, except maybe the house on the floating island but even that sort of comes across as an easy way to stop from having to render a surrounding neighborhood rather than an interesting location.
3. Two Girls Make A Game
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It wouldn’t be one of my monthly lists without an npckc game on here somewhere. This one is a short visual novel about a developer and an artist working together to try to make a game for a game jam. Its cute and wholesome with a couple of different endings based on your actions throughout.
I love and relate to the character of Shiro, a girl who is shy and reserved in person but bubbly and expressive online. I loved to see her and Ella’s growing friendship.
4. Autumn Wish
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I think I got this one from the Trans Witches are Witches itch.io bundle. The art style is a little rough, but the characters are fun and the main mechanic of the game is interesting.
The game is played with mouse and keyboard, the keyboard for movement and interaction with objects, the mouse how you cast spells. When you go to cast a spell the screen is split into nine squares and you click in each of the squares to form a rune, then position your mouse in the direction you want to cast and right click to cast.
This game is really short. In the intended path there’s only like a couple of fights before your done. It’s apparently like a demo/proof of concept for a main game that I would love to see.
There is however a side area you can go to and fight a secret boss, which is a genuinely really neat fight. Part of what makes me really excited for this to be a full game is the way this fight plays with the mechanics a little. There’s one attack this boss can do where the background music warps for a second and then any points you have drawn on your rune grid become projectiles and start falling down the screen. I love this willigness to play with the mechanics and how its already present in such a small slice of game. It makes me really excited to see what the full game would be like.
Also the girls are gay.
5. The Case of the Golden Idol - The Spider of Lanka
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A pretty good little DLC for Case of the Golden Idol. It has three new cases to solve and the quality sort of varies from case to case.
The first case - The Overly Enthusiastic Card Game Tournament in the Yellow Lily - is a pretty good reintroduction. The only thing I’d say against it is that one of the aspects it wants you to solve is the relative values of the cards used in the card game featured in the scene.
What its actually asking for is actually fairly easy to get. I worked it out from looking at just one of the three card games you can examine. I misread the prompt in the solving screen and tried to put them in lowest value to highest value instead of highest value to lowest value which is what it wanted. This led me to thinking I’d gotten it wrong somehow and I subsequently spent ages further examining the scene in growing bewilderment, before eventually realizing my mistake.
That’s my mistake though, the thing I’d criticize about the case is that I sort of wish the game was asking me for the exact values of each of the cards - something that would require me to examine all of the available evidence before I could give an answer. Otherwise good first case.
The second case - The Unfortunate Accident at the Raja’s Court - is a great case. A very complex situation which requires some digging before you even begin to understand what was supposed to be happening here, nevermind how it went wrong and why. Loved this one.
The third case - In The Web of the Spider - is the weakest. It acts as like a final exam of the events of the DLC, similar to how the last case of the main game requires more detailed knowledge of the full narrative, except on a much smaller scale. I’m not opposed to that, but this case felt a little disjointed, half an actual case in its own right that isn’t fleshed out as much as it could have been (there was a whole map most of which isn’t really important to the case itself), and half a recap case that doesn’t have a lot to recap. I feel like I would have been much happier if this one was split into two full cases. It could have given both halves room to breathe and feel complete.
The narrative is strong, with a clever connection to the main game that becomes more obvious the longer you play and the more you unravel. A good DLC. I’m just happy to have more Golden Idol to play.
6. Every Letter
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Made by Violet Fairy - the dev who made the previously mentioned Autumn Wish - this game is inspired by Violet Evergarden, an anime where an ex-soldier lady starts working as essentially a scribe, writing letters for those who cannot write or are looking for help expressing themselves.
In this game you play that role. You are given a selection of different prompts from which you can try to write a letter. Some of them are very straightforward and matter of fact, some of them are more emotional and subjective in what they want you to write. Then you write that letter.
You’re writing on a typewriter so you can’t erase and the game doesn’t give you the option to start again. It assures you that if you misspell something it’ll be caught by a copy editor or something and it’ll be fine. You aren’t graded in any way for your work. Obviously the game doesn’t really have the capability to read your letter and determine if you adequately expressed the inner feelings of the sender. The joy is in the act itself, in trying to express one girl’s love and appreciation for her penpal friend, or the bittersweet joy of one lady writing to her deceased father telling him her new name and how her life is changing.
The game is kind of beautiful and I did tear up at the final letter request (it’s a fairly short experience. you write four letters total in a playthrough, though there are a decent selection to choose from).
7. What’s Wrong With The Girl’s Staircase
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Another game from the Trans Witches Are Witches itch.io bundle. Really short visual novel which takes a really kind of dubious concept from the Awful Wizard Franchise and examines it with a trans positive lens. Cute character designs. Neat little experience.
8. Therapy With Dr. Albert Krueger
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A little game where you have a Dream Therapy session with the titular Albert Krueger - sort of like if Freddy Krueger was a therapist and aspired to become a tumblr sexyman. Tonally it is really straddling the line between comedy and horror, though skewed a little more towards comedy and sometimes using over the top horror elements for a comedic effect... I think.
The game consists of multiple different therapies from solving math problems (i don’t remember how this is supposed to be a therapy) to trust exercises and rorschach tests. How well you do on these therapies determines your ending and the game does reward replays to see the different endings, with some dialogue changing each new playthrough. Not as much as I’d like but enough to be engaging.
9. Cats Are Liquid: A Light In The Shadows
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I don’t know why a fairly uninspired minimalist 2d platformer about a cat that can change states of matter is about how depressing it would be to be stuck in a fairly uninspired 2d platformer.
It plays fine, though early on it gives you the ability to float which when used properly negates many of the platforming challenges the game actually presents to you. Its just that the narrative is really jarring and offputting.
10. Kirby and the Forgotten Land
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(I talk a little spoilers at the end of this one, just in case you’re wanting to avoid any late game discussion feel free to skip past)
Love a good little 3d platformer. Not a problem with this game specifically but playing this I really became cognizant of how much I prefer 3d platformers that have open worlds instead of individual levels.
Like with this game I’d start up the game, play a level, look at any objectives that I missed (I wish the game would just show you all missing objectives after your first completion instead of one at a time) and then replay to complete those objectives and then by that point i’d be like ‘well that was fun, that seems like enough for today’ but the game has so many levels. It is a big game. Its just the discrete level structure keeps providing exit points and my adhd brain is desperate to take them even though I enjoy playing the game and want to keep playing it.
Its good though. I loved the big copy abilities, especially driving kirby around as a car. I love the variety of levels and the modern/post apocalyptic aesthetic of the world. I love the creepy obsessive atmosphere when you enter the den of the boss in the desert, and then the reveal of Sillydillo as an enemy. I love the scene where King Dedede sacrifices himself to hold them back. I love the tone and aesthetic of the final area. I love the ultimate conclusion of the game; the final confrontation between Ultimate Lifeform and Angry Truck.
11. The World Begins With You
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This is a 3d game that has sort of the same vibes as like... I want to say like Inside or Limbo or one of the games like that, but it isn’t really trying to kill you as much as one of those games. You’re exploring a linear area with a beautiful aesthetic and sometimes solving a minor puzzle. Maybe more like Journey, except I personally didn’t like Journey and thats a discussion for a different time. Something like that though, maybe.
It’s neat. It is a beautiful little world, with a sense of world, a sense of there being something greater to this place that we never quite see.
The only major negative is there’s a part where you get on a little boat. The boat moves slowly and passes a couple of dangers. You need to position yourself to be safe or instantly die and restart the section. It’s not the most difficult but each of the dangers caught me by surprise the first time and then as I continued to replay the section, the little wait at the beginning started to irritate me and I got more prone to making mistakes and I was stuck repeating this section more times than I would have liked.
I appreciate it doesn’t checkpoint you on the moving boat and the boat isn’t so fast you can’t easily switch positions but my brain sure did interact badly with this part of the game.
12. Size Matters
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Size Matters is a randomly generated puzzle game where you are shrinking and you need to make an antidote to stop yourself before you get too small and then die or something. This game isn’t about narrative. It’s about presenting one scenario to you with multiple adjustable levels of difficulty and letting you mess around with it.
The challenge isn’t knowing what to do. Every level you need to find the chemicals and the notebooks that tell what to do with the chemicals in order to produce the antidote parts.The challenge comes from how much you are shrinking, how quickly and how much that will impact your ability to move around and mix the antidote. It can be quite tricky especially on higher difficulties.
Its a silly little diversion. Its short length, repeatable challenge and escalating difficulties sort of give it the vibe of being a party game, except it doesn’t really have any functionality to play with other people. And though it has some replay value I can’t see myself wanting to engage with it past the preset scenarios it presents.
13. To The Wolves
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A little twine based interactive narrative from the Trans Witches Are Witches itch.io bundle. An interesting little narrative where you play as a villager chosen to become a sacrifice for the good of your village. You flee and disappear into the woods, surviving in spite of your designated fate and choosing what you want to become now.
14. The Cottage, The Witch and the Wordle
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A little single page solo TTRPG from the Trans Witches Are Witches bundle. It’s a cozy little worldbuilding exercise where you are a witch that can conjure your dream cottage, all you need to do is work out the magic word.
You play a game of wordle (i prefer to play via septle nowadays) and work out your score based on how well you did and then build your dream cottage from a whole listing of furnishings and features.
It’s a very simple little experience with no real payoff save for the enjoyment of imagining your own cozy cottage. At first I thought that the wordle as a little gimmicky and it is, but also its a neat alternate to rolling dice for a game like this.
15. Hook
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Hook is a minimalist puzzle game where your goal is to remove all the hooks from each level. Each one might lie on top of, or hook onto another one so its a game all about carefully examining the level and working out which are safe to remove and when. Of course as it progresses there are more little ideas added in to increase the complication of this process. You’ve played this type of game before, you know how this works.
It’s neat. It’s all fairly intuitive and it introduces those new elements or changes the way each level is presented often enough that it remains engaging.
16. Wizard School Woes
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A short little visual novel from the Trans Witches are Witches itch.io bundle. Made by Jane Titor (of The Light at the End of the Ocean). It’s fine.
It’s about helping this wizard boy, Ambrosius, with a magical ritual that he’s struggling to get to work properly. It’s a pretty simple little story and it’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with it I just didn’t connect strongly because I’m gay and there’s no girls to latch onto.
17. Sackboy: A Big Adventure
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Fun competent little platformer. It really does retain the feel of a LittleBigPlanet game, with all the options to dress up your character, some repeated elements and ideas and the overall structure of the game and the variety of the levels.
And the 2 player levels that lock me out of getting 100% completion.
The characters you meet along the way are fun. I really like Scarlet, this boisterous older lady who used to be a ‘knitted knight’. I also really like N.A.O.M.I. an AI for the future place that you go to who has this cool glam rock kind of aesthetic. She has the best level in the game (One Track Mind), a level where she’s being infected with a virus by Vex, the game’s villain (who is also pretty fun), and as you make your way through the level a version of Toxic by Britney Spears plays. Maybe even a better use of the song than that one episode of Doctor Who.
I wish there was some kind of option that would allow me to change the name of the main character. You can dress your ‘sackboy’ however you like and like self expression is a big part of the franchise. And I know sackboy is the name of the character and the name of the game and like a whole brand name or whatever it would just be nice to have the option to be Sackgirl or Sackling or something. Just as a consideration to those of us who are not comfy being referred to as a boy.
18. Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom
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I didn’t finish it yet.
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my love-hate relationship with ‘stranger things 3’
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’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe. Inconsolable were the Harringroves; So beware the spoilers that come thine way. - Lewis Carrol, at some point
[Picture me holding up a ‘YOU SUCK/YOU RULE’ board. Chunks of my hair are missing.]
PROS:
· So much was going on at any given moment. It was a rollercoaster on an acid trip in the middle of a South Asian wedding after 2PM.
· It feels like the writers genuinely had fun with this season; the Big Bad was (ironically, considering its origins) fresh, the storylines went every direction imaginable- and beyond- and who the fuck cares about connecting all the threads when it’s so damn entertaining?
· Steve Harrington in a dorky sailor’s costume.
· Steve Harrington never changing out of said dorky sailor’s costume for the entire season.
· Robin Buckley in a dorky sailor’s costume.
· Robin Buckley in general.
· Steve Harrington and Robin Buckley in dorky sailor’s costumes, together.
· Straightbaiting.
· Steve finally getting a friend who doesn’t make him act like a douche / doesn’t dump him for a guy who creeped on them / has hit puberty.
· Male-female friendships that don’t end up in boning.
· Steve finally winning a fight.
· Dustin making a big deal out of this.
· Erica ‘You can’t spell America without Erica’ Sinclair.
· Hopper being El’s legal father.
· El breaking up with Mike.
· Female friendships that do not involve one being eaten alive by a monster from another dimension.
· Max giving El a makeover.
· Gratuitous references to the 80s.
· Will Byers.
· Me adopting Will Byers.
· On the subject of Will Byers- I know a lot of you headcanon gay Will, but consider: ace/aro Will.
· Nancy’s new haircut.
· Karen Wheeler being a decent mother to her daughter instead of hooking up with a boy the same age as her aforementioned daughter (the bar is literally so low for this woman, the only way to go is up).
· Heather Holloway, my girl in red.
· Carnivals.
· The Fourth of July.
· Carnivals on the Fourth of July.
· Billy’s mullet.
· Billy’s blue, blue eyes.
· Billy in a wifebeater and blue, blue jeans.
· Billy reminding me of multiple Taylor Swift songs.
· Billy getting possessed.
· Billy’s moral compass making a cameo.
· Billy dying right afterwards. (me, watching Billy’s childhood trauma: We saw this with Christian Grey, we saw it with Hardin Whoeverthefuck; they’re not gonna give him a redemption arc, are they? me, watching Billy get punctured like shishkebab: GIVE HIM THE GODDAMN REDEMPTION ARC.)
· Billy would not be amused with the existence of tentacle hentai.
· This dead meme that took me far too long to make that I’m far too proud of:
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Graphic designing is my passion.
· Dustin and Suzie-not-Q’s duet trumping every Disney musical in existence.
· The dog. I don’t remember seeing it, but there must’ve been at least one.
CONS:
· The sheer secondhand embarrassment I got from the first episode alone. I had to leave my room multiple times to get a breather; it was an effort to convince myself to take the stairs instead of flinging myself off the goddamn balcony.
· Exploding into smithereens like one of those rats >>>>> seeing children making out.
· El and Mike not staying broken up.
· Evil Russians.
· Not being able to take a Russian course because I’m already falling behind on my Spanish and Italian and the Duolingo owl being a bitch about it.
· The US military getting later than my dad picking me up after school.
· The realization that Dad’s still going to be late as ever because I never fucking learned to drive.
· The pandemic that got in the way of my driving lessons.
· Billy’s Camaro- second to only the locker room for the most popular hookup spot in Harringrove fics- getting banged up.
· Should I Stay or Should I Go by The Clash not making an appearance.
· All the time I spent wondering which writer has a kink for seeing Joe Keery’s face in injury makeup because Steve Harrington gets the living daylights knocked out of him every season.
· ‘Injury makeup’ being something I made up on the spot because I don’t know what else to call it.
· The Coca-Cola product placements.
· Coca-Cola and Pepsi tasting the same to me.
· “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.” Mike, you’re, like, 12.
· Erica Sinclair going from funny to insufferable every time I blink.
· Billy getting skewered in the middle of his character arc.
· El knowing way too much for a girl who didn’t know what a friend was in the first season.
· Steve being too much of a comic relief and not enough of a person.
· Hopper being whatever the hell he was for this entire season. He was so jarringly out of character that they should’ve just given him another name and made him Hopper’s psycho twin or something.
· I heard somewhere that Maya Hawke had to ask for her character to be queer… but they’re perfectly fine with having middle-aged, married women lust over a teenager??? I reiterate, the bar is so fucking low, yet somehow the gays are below even that???
· My perseverance about making shitty memes.
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furry-emblem · 3 years
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You know what, after talking about how biases and stuff mess with 3H discourse, I'm going to go over my biases and personal experiences with each major faction leader because I feel like it. I don’t really want people arguing with me on these, but I would like to hear other people describing their experiences with these characters because that’s always interesting to read about. I'm listing the characters in order of how much I liked them.
Byleth
Also known as erotica, keyboard smash, Sothis, another keyboard smash, BoobBoob, and Boobama. I really dislike them. I’ve never been particularly fond of silent or self-insert protagonists. At best, they signal to me that the game isn’t going to bother with its story or character writing (and that’s fine when that’s the case), while at worst, it’s the writers taking the most important character in the story and then throwing their hands up and saying “we don’t need to write this one.” Byleth feels like the ladder and it’s to the detriment of pretty much everyone around them. Like, even considering that silent protagonists are supposed to be characters that the player projects onto, Byleth doesn’t do a good job at this because there’s enough canonical descriptions of them that you can’t really roleplay, but there’s so little going on that they don’t stand on their own two feet. So it’s like having a piece of cardboard dictate the fate of the country. They also primarily function as a wall for characters to exposition dump their backstories onto, which isn’t very interesting to watch. Like, 3H would have been better off without Byleth in it. 0/10.
Rhea
I just haven't had the chance to see a lot of her stuff, so I think I'm missing some of the stuff that makes people like her (and I'd prefer to not have that spoiled for me). Haven't seen her supports or the Church Route, but she just hasn't left me with a good impression. I don't like how possessive she gets of Byleth. Like, it creeps me out a little. I'm also a bit disappointed that you never get to play as her. I want the pope to bitch slap people (except not my people). I remember her being an antagonist in CF felt kind of forced to me when I first played because her reactions felt a bit silly. The problem wasn't whether they were justified or not, the problem was lack of context given and the fact that she was saying stuff like "You will BURN in the PITS OF HELL" while standing perfectly still and making this face >:(. And I just couldn't take that seriously for whatever reason because it felt cheesy and I didn't really understand what was going on. It also soured any endearment Rhea showed towards Byleth to me on future routes because her actions in CF gave me the impression of her being obsessive and controlling of Byleth. Like, she acted entitled to their loyalty, expected them to be something they never asked for, and flipped the fuck out when they rejected. It reminded me a lot of some abuse I've gone through and it made me dislike the character. Now that I have more context on the character, I get why she reacted so suddenly and violently because CF kinda threw all of her triggers at her. It feels like she dug her grave in that route, but she dug it in a way that resembles a Greek Tragedy more than anything else. My second route was Claude's route, which thoroughly disappointed me in terms of its writing. When Rhea was exposition dumping her backstory, I was like "I'm boooored," so that really didn't help my opinion of the character. I also don't really like how she gets damsels in three out of four routes. I still don't actively like the character very much because she left a really sour taste in my mouth, but I understand that I'm missing information and that there are reasons to like her. I'm open to learning more about her, but she just really rubs me the wrong way.
Yuri
I never finished Cindered Shadows and I have no real opinion on Yuri. I thought he was a girl when I first saw him and I think he's fun to play as in gameplay, so I guess there's that. I don't really see myself replaying Cindered Shadows if I even finish it because it lacks a lot of the major things I liked from 3H.
Seteth
Does he even get to count? Like, he's not in charge and Rhea should've probably been the leader of Silver Snow. Haven't played that route yet. I like Seteth. He's got good dad energy and also he's my wife (specifically in Verdent Wind). He's got good vibes. Also, if you kill Flayn in Crimson Flower, his English voice acting when he's like "Flayn Noooo" gets to me. I still really like Seteth. A solid 8/10 for me.
Dmitri
I wasn't following Three Houses advertising at all, so I didn't know anything about anyone going in. I was originally just going to skip him entirely because he looked boring and had shitty hair. So I did his route last. Partially out if curiosity for the character, partially because I might as well do every major route since I'd already done Claude and Edelgard, partially to get to know some of the Blue Lions, and partially because some of Edelgard's backstory is only revealed in this route and I was curious about that. Dmitri's route definitely has the best writing out of any of the routes. I really like how personal the route is and how much it focuses on how one specific event impacted all of the characters in it. There are some big problems I have with the route and Dmitri, like how the game uses psychosis to represent Dmitri being murdery and how him changing his mind felt more like Byleth's decision than his own due to their conversation being pretty bad. But overall, he has the best writing. I'd strongly recommend playing through his route if you haven't just because the writing's rather good there. The reason why he's ranked below Claude and Edelgard, however, is pretty simple: I just don't vibe with him. Like, the hero archetype bores the hell out of me, even when it is subverted like it is here. I also just didn't relate to the character on really any level while I did with Claude and Edelgard. The amount of Edelgard slander in his name also annoys me, but I don't think it really impacts how much I like Dmitri. He's a well written character that I just don't vibe with. I also remember his death in Verdant Wind and being like “wtf was that??” Like, the writers killed him offscreen.. twice. In the same route.
Claude 
I really enjoyed Claude as a character. He left a good first impression on me and I almost picked him for my first playthrough because he’s hot and sassy. Two good traits for any character. I ended up picking Edelgard, though, and he left a good impression on me during CF. I like that he held the alliance together and had a contingency plan for if he lost that battle. When I played his route, I ended up going Hard Mode NG+ Casual and I stuck everyone on a dragon. I did find it funny that throughout the school phase, Claude learns bow stuff repeatedly, then in one of the last months, he went up to me and was like “hey, can you start teaching me in axe and flying?” Which he had nothing in either. Then timeskip happens and he comes waltzing in on a dragon. Claude is where all the good memes in the fandom go. That said, I really disliked his route because Claude felt like an afterthought in it (because he literally was). I don’t like that I got out of the route and it felt like I didn’t know as much more about the character going out than I did going in. Some of that is because I didn’t see a ton of his supports, which is where pretty much all of the character work is. I like how Claude is open minded and actively tries to seek out the truth. So, overall, I found his route a bit disappoint but I still really like him because he’s a fun character.
Edelgard
I fucking love Edelgard. She was my first pick and therefore the character that introduced me to the game, and by extension, the series of Fire Emblem. I picked her because she’s pretty, she looked ready to fistfight god from the word go, and she seemed like the mascot of the game so I figured the writers might put a bit extra effort into her route (they didn’t, rip). My very first playthrough was actually a Normal/Classic run, but I had to abandon the run because literally everyone died four hours into the save (I swapped to Normal/Casual). Edelgard ended up carrying me through my first playthrough. I stuck her on a dragon and she killed literally everyone and everything. In my most recent playthrough of the game, I did CF and made her an archer mage dancer for the memes and that was also a ton of fun to play with. Her gameplay feel had a role in me liking her (like, Dmitri is also very powerful, but it was my third playthrough and I knew what I was doing better by then, so him being just as OP as Edelgard didn’t really influence my opinion on him as much as it did her). 
Besides the gameplay, Edelgard’s probably the major character that I relate to the most. Every character on this list (except maybe Byleth or Yuri, I know literally nothing about Yuri tho) has experience with trauma and is coping with it in some way. Edelgard copes by villainizing herself and shutting off her emotions, but despite that, she’s still a low-empathy person who’s still very compassionate person who cares about others and is trying to do the right thing. She also generally tries to express some amount of compassion to her enemies, even if it’s little more than saying “it sucks that Dmitri had to die.” She’s not as open-minded or as truth-seeking as Claude is, but she still tries to keep herself open to other viewpoints and will readily accept any she deems as valid at a moment’s notice. I just really like that about her because I share a lot of those traits in common with her. I also like the idea of her being someone who’s willing to do evil things to bring good to the world. That’s not something you normally get in a protagonist and I think that’s a cool idea. 
I still found her route to be very awkward, especially with no context. Like, I missed the line where Edelgard’s like “yeah, btw, I’m the Flame Emperor,” so I was just wondering what happened there. It’s an anticlimactic way to end the main plot of the first half of the game. I also didn’t really get Rhea’s angle at all. So the route just felt a lot like “I guess I’m doing this now??” In other routes, I found her deaths to be very hard hitting. The death in Verdant Wind only really got me because I really liked Edelgard and she was my original student and I could feel how much she wanted to make her future a reality and how her failing meant all of those sacrifices she made and the evils she’d done would now all be for nothing. I get that impression with Azure Moon’s ending too. 
Most of my appreciation for the character does come from her support conversations. I like how her chain with Bernie has her trying to learn how to not scare her off. Her interactions with Dorothea in their support chain are kind of sad because Dorothea is trying to show her admiration and love for Edelgard in a way that makes sense to her but then Edelgard’s low view of herself causes her to reject the offer. I really liked her Manuela support too (haven’t seen Hanneman’s but I’ve heard that it’s good). I like how with Manuela, Edelgard learns why people are religious and she that being religious doesn’t make you weak. I like her Linhart support where he calls her out for trying to dictate his life and she responds by trying to overhaul some of her own systems and assumptions about him, which leads to her giving him a role to the empire that also properly accommodates for his needs. I like how with Ferdinand’s supports, he has to learn to let go of their rivalry, but once that does happen, Edelgard takes into account his ideas and roles with them. I think it’s funny that she and Hubert flirt with each other by sending each other credible death threats. Edelgard just has a lot of very good supports. Don’t get me wrong, Claude and Dmitri also have supports that are good (I thought Claude’s support chain with Petra was cute and I really like Dmitri’s support chain with Flayn), but Edelgard’s supports go a long way to paint her as someone who is flawed but still really admirable.
Edelgard is definitely one of my favorite fictional characters, and I’d love to see more characters like her in the future.
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sinkix · 4 years
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《What your fav Haikyuu!! Character says about you│Nekoma Edition》
Yo-hoo! Here’s another part to this potential(?) series! I hope you enjoy the possible call-outs in some of these lmao. Writers block been kicking my ass recently but I had a lot of fun writing these. Enjoy <3
You can find the Karasuno ver. here 
✧✧✧✧✧ ✧✧✧✧✧ ✧✧✧✧✧ ✧✧✧✧✧
Kuroo:
Have a hand fetish and will not say no to choking.
Daddy kink™
Will not accept anything below 6 inches.
More of a dog person but would love to own a black cat.
You drool over tattoos.
Your grades are mostly B’s but you know in your heart you deserve that A, and tbh you probably do. Chase ur goals bby.
Halloween is likely your favourite holiday.
You have to resist not to carve a dick into the pumpkin EvEry GodDAmN YeAr.
You either study for 6 hours consecutively or cannot study at all and you get very frustrated at this.
Have the potential to be a good leader and command the room but probably don’t put it to use as much as you should.
Your playlist parkours from sad 3am crying into your pillow songs to aggressive punk music you could rob a store to.
You like bad boys who hang around bars and look like they would put out a cigarette on your forearm and call you a slut. Just stating facts sweaty xoxo.
Either dress very feminine and girly with a ‘smol girl uwu’ aesthetic or a hardass punk who would kick your ass for a can of beer no in between and tbh both are equally hot.
You’re a big softie at heart either way and just want to be held and told everything will be okay.
Ur a hoe for when people stroke your hair or caress your chin it’s your ultimate weakness.
Watched Rick & Morty.
Twice.
Sleeves rolled up veiny forearms and donning a silver watch are your muse and something you fantasise about frequently.
Most of your memes are shitty top text bottom texts that are somehow funny and I don’t understand why lmao.
You call someone ‘bro’ even if it’s someone you’re immensely attracted to.
Did someone say ties? No it’s just ur dirty ass thoughts thinking about that hot business dudes attire from across the street and how you wish they were tied around ur wrists.
Probably had a crush on Jeff the Killer as a tween and are relentlessly haunted by your old Wattpad library. 
Tbh any dark-haired dude with bedhead that screams rugged and probably not good for you is something that draws you like a moth to a flame.
You often question why every person you’ve fallen for has been a Scorpio and curse that tendency of yours.
Dw man they’re hot so I feel u.
Kenma:
Went through a ‘I’m not like other __’ phase and it’s something that you think about a lot and wish you didn’t.
Watched dan & phil as a kid.
Any mention of Pokemon has you turning into a rabid beast you get way too excited.
It’s cute though dw bby.
Pretty antisocial but interesting to talk to.
Your family often question how you’re able to sleep in till 3pm and judge you heavily for it.
Nocturnal night owl gang rise up.
Frequently have bags under your eyes but somehow manage to pull it off.
Listen to ASMR on the down-low and will never admit it to a single soul.
Frequently go on BL binges and have many related book marks.
You pray that someone will never find your laptop bc holy fuck the amount of smut on that.
You wear scarves & beanies even when it isn’t that cold outside.
100% went through a scene hair phase/attempted to.
You dye your hair a lot or REALLY want to.
You have a voice kink low-key so anyone with a pleasant/soothing sounding voice just gets u goin’.
Cats are your favourite animal and you either do or want to own several.
Would name them after video game/anime characters u fuckin nerd lol.
Speaking of cats ,you fantasise heavily about cat-boys and have a folder dedicated to them.
Oversized hoodies are your vibe and always ball the sleeve hems in your fist as a comfort mechanism.
Shopping centres are your worst nightmare and trigger your claustrophobia or social anxiety and honestly I feel that spiritually.
Have a cute sticky note collection.
You like a lot of music consisting of guitar and slow/soothing beats.
You also fw EDM/ techno on occasions.
Honestly wouldn’t wanna anger you since you have a seething temper when pushed far enough.
It’s the kinda temper that’s eerily quiet but no less terrifying, like the other person can tell you are graphically plotting their demise.
You love sleeping to the sound of rainfall and often play those nature ambience videos while you sleep.
Never tidy your sheets and it’s just a big scrunched up heap of fabric in the centre of your mattress most of the time.
Make your fucking bed.
Lev:
Your ships are chaotic and shamelessly controversial.
Would do something just for the sake of creating mayhem lmao.
You were the fucker who stuck their chewing gum under the desk, I see you.
Your brain never stops whirring it’s a constant hurricane of crackhead energy and you have no idea how to turn it off. 
Would eat a stick of pencil lead for $2
You don’t help your situation with the amount of coffee/energy drinks you consume.
The class clown who cries themselves to sleep.
Such a wholesome dumbass but somehow kinda intimidating??? 
Even if you’re not confident you can do something you’ll try anyway and honestly I respect that about you.
You !! use!!! a lot??!! of!! random punctuation!!! so you always??!?!? seem!!111!! excited!!!!!11!?
Every time you’ve ever tried to make a sandcastle it has failed.
You tried to eat the sand once but we don’t talk bout that.
You would  also pick up slugs and snails and chase your friends around with them.
Can never tell whether people are laughing with you or at you and while you don’t let it show it high-key bothers you when you’re laying alone in your room at night.
Not one to hold grudges, you carry a ‘shit happens’ mentality which is v good but it sometimes leads to people taking advantage of it or walking all over you.
Your meme collection is both questionable and horrifying.
Like how many cursed images and heavily distorted pictures does one person need.
Never organise the files on your PC/laptop so it looks like a complete dumpster fire.
The one at sleepovers who persistently woke everyone else up with their snickering and refusal to sleep till dawn.
For the love of Asahi charge your damn phone.
I see that red bar and ‘12%’
Charge it now.
Bought a plant one time, gave it a name and talked to it frequently.
It died not long after bc u forgot to fucking water it.
No one better ever make you responsible for a pet.
Type of person that when someone asks you to tag along on an endeavour no matter how stupid it is you will agree.
2am skydiving in france? hell yeah.
Midnight shopping spree and spending over half your pay check? count you in.
Exploring an abandoned hospital and performing an Ouija board to summon the demons of hell? you’re damn right you’ll be there.
I hope you have a mum friend by your side bc if not how are you still alive.
You sometimes put the milk in before the cereal and it’s something I’ll never forgive you for.
Yaku:
Very responsible and usually make the right decisions.
You do have moments where you act like a complete dumbass though.
Like u go from 50 year old to 5 year old in the blink of an eye.
A hopeless romantic but it’s a side you don’t often reveal.
Prefer strawberry milk over any other flavour.
You’re the type of person to shower twice a day w/o fail.
Where that stank smell coming from? Not you clearly bc your skin is basically 90% The Body Shop’s rose scented soap at this point.
You get stomach aches a lot and you can’t figure out why.
Probably an allergy to everyone’s bs.
Really good at dirty talk even though you don’t seem the type so people are always taken aback.
You have to be really in the mood though otherwise it falls flatter than Oikawa’s ass, use your skill wisely.
You often call people clowns when you know you’re secretly the biggest one going.
Honk honk, hoe.
You send messages in one paragraph rather than multiple texts unless you are REALLY excited.
People underestimate you at times then are shocked when they realise you are capable of being a fire-breathing dragon from the flaming pits of hell.
You like spicy chicken wings.
Such a petty little shit at times lmao.
Enjoy the view from the top of mountains so you either hike a lot or really want to.
Way more of a cat person since it’s just much more convenient for you.
Usually pretty cheerful or calm and people are drawn to your stable/friendly aura.
Went through a phase of drinking mountain dew and your body still feels the awful effects
Fav element is probably air.
You’re 5′6″ or shorter.
Box dyed your hair brunette several times and can never get the pigment out to this day.
Yamamoto:
Whenever you smell something weird in the room you always internally freak out and think it’s you.
Head-butting walls is your hobby.
You fell off your bike as a kid and still have the scar on your knee.
Probably have tons of ear piercings.
Would tame a pigeon and call it Larry.
You get frequent nosebleeds and can never tell if it’s a medical issue or your extreme simping for fictional men/women.
Hopefully the latter.
You constantly chew your pen/pencil in class so you never lend them to anyone out of embarrassment.
I really hope no one ever lends you stationery bc 30 minutes later it’ll look like it was mauled by a rabid rottweiler.
You really want to own a dog and would call it something intimidating like Banshee or Diablo.
You bleached your hair that one time and it almost fell out so now you’re forced to stay at least 10 metres away from all at-home hair dye products.
You tried your best though bby so A for effort, even if it did look like dehydrated ramen afterwards.
Your grades are mostly C’s and you’re barely passing bc you just don’t care about your classes lol.
Still though you’re actually pretty smart so put it to good use you lazy oaf, channel that crackhead energy into something good.
Your phone screen has several cracks in it from when you dropped it on the bathroom floor while shitting and you’ll always be angry at yourself for that.
You have some really weird quirks but you make it work.
Actually a v chill person but you just kinda attract chaos/trouble wherever you go.
Carry a lighter with you even when you don’t need one.
Shy texter but once people see you irl you are the complete opposite, you just dk how to text without coming across as awkward.
One of those people that’s unintentionally funny and always get confused when you make someone laugh but it makes you feel good regardless.
Have a cool necklace collection and own at least one dog-tag/army style pendant.
Should really consider buying a rabbit you would look so cute w/ one.
You have really nice legs and people should compliment them more.
Either severely dehydrated or overly hydrated to the point you are peeing pure tap water so for the love of god please learn moderation, your kidneys and bladder will thank you for it.
Inuoka:
Your favourite character would be Hinata but you like people taller than you so your love for Inuoka spawned.
You really enjoy using the double spiderman meme.
Cannot correctly verbalise your feelings without creating a minimum of 10 misunderstandings but once people are used to it it’s kinda endearing.
You usually wake up in a good mood and people can never fathom how or why.
You either stay up till 5am or you wake up at that time no in between.
A morning person bc you love the sunrise.
Change your lock-screen very regularly bc you get bored.
Your humour consists solely of poop jokes.
When you don’t understand a joke you laugh anyway and hope they don’t ask you if you actually get it.
Happened once and you’re still traumatised from the cricket silence that fell upon the room.
Really like the taste of lemonade and drink it more often than you should.
Often think about what you would look like with a shaved head.
More of an extrovert but def have occasional introvert tendencies where you wanna be left tf alone.
Never allowed to pick up anything in stores bc the last time you did you sniffed a scented candle and it shattered to the floor.
Constantly have spontaneous ideas of what to change about your appearance.
You use a lot of hand gestures like thumbs up and peace signs.
‘Dude’ and ‘lmao’ is 90% of your vernacular.
Your nails are a disaster, some are down to the nub while others are pretty grown out bc you only bite a select few please sort it out.
Look really good in red.
Your laptop has way too many tabs open from random google searches of words you didn’t know the meaning to.
You read a lot of books but for like 10 minutes at a time bc you have the attention span of a walnut.
You are the type of person to nuke your AO3 tags with things that aren’t even relevant purely bc you found them funny.
Your Tumblr drafts are a nightmare, you have like 100+ in the works yet keep starting new projects why do you do this.
Happy sunshine but you have a LOT of mood swings like that shit comes out of nowhere.
Cry pretty often but no one ever sees and it’s usually because of said mood swings.
You always smile and pick yourself up again though which I commend you for.
TYPES IN CAPITALS IN SITUATIONS THAT DO NOT REQUIRE SAID PUNCTUATION SO YOU SEEM LIKE YOU’RE YELLING ALL THE TIME.
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leqclerc · 3 years
Note
ugh I really hate that there's this segment of "fans" that want to step into spaces they already belittle in order to continue being shitty about them. Some people put sooo much of themselves into fics, let alone the time, skill, and effort. I've locked all my work which I've never before done in all my years of writing because of this 🙃
Yeah, it’s shitty. Obviously they have no understanding of RPF (the fiction is there for a reason), and it’s the sincerity that terrifies them. Like, there’s an ironic subreddit for F1 “fic” but it’s not really serious and I don’t think any author that actually put thought and effort and emotion into their work would post on there, which makes Dudebros feel better about getting turned on by some of the stuff posted on there. Because it’s not “genuine”, it’s a joke, so it obviously makes it okay, makes it different. 🙄
Bad news: This kind of stuff is cyclical. People will dredge up fic, display it in some public space to belittle it and point out how “invasive” and “gross” they think it is (because spamming the driver’s social media pages/hashtags and telling them how worthless they are is...totally morally okay!), stir the pot a bit. 
Good news: They have the attention span of a fly. Saying “lmao I’ll go through the rest of it to see what’s there and dredge up more” and actually doing it (especially if it requires having an account first) are two different things. Most of them won’t bother, I don’t think. They’ll have their fun and then they’ll move on to making low-effort memes or whatever it is they do with their free time. 
Then there’s the Twitter people who apparently also like to screenshot stuff and share it around for more or less the same reasons. I haven’t witnessed it happening with F1fic yet, but I vividly remember people in a different fandom deliberately looking for fics with a specific pairing (and this was a tiny ship so it’s not like they accidentally stumbled upon it) just so they can post it on their Twitter and have like-minded fandom gremlins tear it and the authors apart for being “vile” and all that. So. It happens. Obviously this is a bit different because real people are involved, most of whom are active on Twitter, and if this stuff is being @ ed at them or sent to them then they’re likely to see it, which the fic author likely doesn’t want and didn't consent to. 
Again, it’s shitty, it shouldn’t happen, but sadly some people are just Like That, so it does. Keeping works archive-locked is absolutely fair and valid and people should take the necessary actions they feel they need to to feel more secure. But - dare I say? - I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Not in this instance. Dudebros are just kinda dumbly entertained by this; Twitter, I think, is the more “moral gatekeeping” community, so if anything I’d worry about them doing more damage. Hopefully that post will soon be buried under all the under stuff that gets posted to the F1 Reddit and it won’t be much of an issue going forward. 
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tgsofu · 3 years
Text
Gonna do some game reviews!
Heya people!
I’ve been doing some mindfulness practices to get myself to become less of a socially withdrawn workaholic and more of a lazy nerd again, and one thing I wanna try doing is game reviews! I wanna share my thoughts and totally legit ratings for games I’ve played, on one hand to give myself a reason to play them, on another to make myself actually remember them!
When reviewing games I have played, I review these aspects:
Content
Story
Characters
World (in terms of worldbuilding and credibility of the world in-universe)
Visuals
 Art direction
Graphics
Technical
Gameplay
Difficulty
Accessibility
 Ingenuity
Gimmick
Originality
I use stars to give them ratings:
☆☆☆☆☆ Just overall shitty, broken, uninspired and boring - not even meme worthy. Waste of my time!
★☆☆☆☆ Broken, uninspired and boring. Possibly still meme worthy? So bad it’s good?
★★☆☆☆ Not really enjoyable, but might contain some noteworthy ideas and concepts, which it failed to deliver
★★★☆☆ It’s ok, though fails to stand out. I will probably forget about it.
★★★★☆ Overall enjoyable and memorable. It may have some aspects I don’t like or find inconvenient, but not enough to stain the big picture.
★★★★★ Does everything right to cater to my tastes and catch both my undivided attention and interest, and leaves a lasting impression. If it has any flaws, they are insignificant in my bold opinion.
And today... we start with!!!
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I love birds, I love funny things with birds and I love birds in popular media. The Untitled Goose game is deffo up my alley in that sense.
 CONTENT: ★★★★★
This game practices a minimalistic manner in its storytelling and where the core story is simple, it has a surprising amount of depth to it told through the interactive environment with its many little details and characters. A lot of love has been poured into the neighbourhood that the Goose explores throughout the game, with each character entering the frame with a ton of personality and details about their lives, passions and hobbies. No words are spoken throughout the entire experience, yet it is rare treat to see a world so lively and alive within such a simplistic game. It never needed this much detail to be a good game, yet my never-ending thirst for immersion and storytelling in a game makes me appreciate it on a whole different level thanks to the extra effort.
VISUALS: ★★★★☆
Visually the game is very cute and pleasing. Flat base colors with sharp cartoon esque cel-shading is what I live for and I am shamefully easy to win over just by taking this route with any game’s art style. Beyond this, the objects, people and environment are all skilfully crafted, making them a joy to behold while managing to be bold and unique enough to strengthen the game’s visual identity. However, though I admit this is entirely a matter of personal tastes, I am not awarding the game with full 5 stars for visuals. While cute, unique and aesthetically pleasing, I feel like the graphics could still have dared to gone a bit further to give its looks an extra punch and make it all the more memorable for them.
TECHNICAL: ★★★☆☆
I like how interactive the world is! You can bite and drag just about any object around and have fun with your ability to honk and flap. In terms of the Goose’s skillset, the game has a nice amount of complexity to keep the experience fresh without becoming overwhelming. However, the Goose can be a pain in the ass to control at times and the objects can be a chore to get to land in the right place. Furthermore, while the game’s mechanics definitely work and achieve what they were intended for, they don’t really strike me as anything phenomenal or new. You mostly work by carrying stuff around, and the Goose’s ability to drag, carry and drop is not really what I will be remembering this game so fondly for.
INGENUITY: ★★★★★
I get to play as a cute goose and make lovable npcs’ life a living hell? Hell yes. The concept is hilarious and ingenious in all its simplicity and has the power to bring a smile to your face throughout the entire gaming experience. Originally I was intending to award this section four out of five stars but while typing this I came to a realization I did not have really anything negative to say about the originality or the core gimmick of this game. I sure wouldn’t know how to improve it; the Untitled Goose game has secured its spot within the gaming community for a reason and, in my humble opinion, its ingenuity is to thank for it.
 OVERALL: ★★★★☆
A fun, memorable low-effort game to get you both hooked and lift your rainy mood.
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tackyink · 4 years
Note
i've been growing spoons so im late for this meme but! for the colour things, tangerine, mauve... maybe emerald!! i feel good about talking with u cos its so low pressure. im just like "ima comment on tackys post" and we have a good chat and then we both retire to think deep thoughts... like (enemy) ships meeting in the night, flashing lights at each other
Yes, good!! This blog is a safe oasis for nerdy travellers. No pressure. No bad blood. No discourse allowed unless it’s about bread. Come gather around the fire everyone, let’s be dumb together and maybe share we’ve had a shitty day but then laugh at ourselves and at fictional characters. (Seriously speaking though: I make a conscious effort try and not spread negativity here cause I’m too old for fandom drama and the world’s on fire anyway. I need a space where I can just relax and have fun, and that hopefully can make others stop doomscrolling for a minute. Life’s hard enough as it is without being bombarded 24/7 with how some people are making it even harder for others.)
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More of that dnd thing cause I’m invested now
This is just a big ass post with their dnd characters I got bored
This was fun to make hope y’all like em 
Marinette: Felicity Xyrna— She’s a wood elf cleric who’s a bit on the dumb side (-1 intelligence for 8, she’s okay with it cause she didn’t want her character to be smart anyways), she’s lawful good and is an acolyte of nature. She worships Tikki. She’s very oblivious to Chat’s character’s attempts at flirtation but their characters slowly bit by bit are falling into a romance. It’s disgustingly cute for the rest of the team and Chloe is silently face palming. 
Adrien: Einar Gray— A Tabaxi Warlock to the eldritch being Plagg, he’s absolutely in LOVE with Felicity and refuses to give up on his endless quest to woo her. His charisma is incredibly high despite his occasional low rolls and he’s accidentally made a habit of throwing chairs at people as a last ditch effort. He has a troubled past that Chloe’s excited to tie into the narrative and despite being a complex character, he probably gets memed the most. 
Alya: Surprisingly, Eimi Lockhart- Surprisingly she chose a bard. She’s a very bombastic tiefling coming from a family of entertainers. Best friends with Luka’s character. Literal life of the party. Like a sister to Felicity. When her family is under threat of some secret underground mob the whole team is ready to Murder for her. She loves flirting with Nino through her character but the fans still ship Eimi with Felicity anyways. She thinks it’s cute. She also likes to whip out her flute during scenes where she’s using it to play and impress everyone and set the mood. 
Nino: Grim Darkwood- A Goliath Paladin who’s working through his long travel of redemption after his gruesome past. Just wants to protect everyone man.. Carapace isn’t actually that popular as people keep focusing on the heroes until the campaign starts, where everyone just falls in love with this sweet boy!! He is a surprisingly deep role player and makes a few close ties to his civilian life that make Marinette or Alya almost leave the table in tears sense they knows who he is and know where/what he’s pulling from.
Kagami: Raven StormBreaker- Dragonborn barbarian. She originally starts as just a mindless monsterkiller with zero role playing skills because she doesn’t understand the game is more than just dungeon crawling. Chloe pulls her aside after one game and stays with her to help her develop her character. The next session Raven shows more of her awkward but soft personality that she was afraid to show. The fans immediately go in “protect this bb” mode. Still doesn’t role play much sense it’s in character for her not to speak much, but when she does, shit gets deep. Also her character accidentally develops a deep camaraderie and character bromance with Kim? No one knows how that happened but she’s devastated when his first character dies.
Luka: Clem ThimbleBrook- They’re Faun bard and rouge multiclass. Best friend’s with Eimi. Plays the harp. Amnesiac. All that wonderful jazz. They are probably the most cryptic character but the fans love them anyways as they drop very ominous nuggets of wonderful wisdom that make people like them a lot. (Enby character)
Kim: Starts out with the most memeist and stupidest character. Probably some reiteration of Shrek. However he slowly develops and becomes one of the greatest clutch characters.. ever?? Probably some fighter or something but eventually He becomes so emotionally invested with the others and they all grow to love him. He doesn’t even change his shitty backstory on how much he just wants people to leave his swamp but he still becomes legendary? Halfway through the campaign, he sacrifices himself to save the others— saving them all from dying and it’s genuinely tear jerking. His second character definitely seemed more serious at first.. but.. then he revealed her name and everything shattered.. he named her Fiona, she’s a goblin princess with a falsetto and British, accent so.. no the jokes have no left (he watched critical role and got inspired, the moment he introduced his character the table fell into laughter and tears)
Max: Theodore Lance Jamison Von Dutchman- Human Artificer. Same energy as Percy from Vox Machina’s long as fucking name. His character has a surprising temper and for whatever he lacks in role play he makes up for gameplay and also.. accents?? He’s very good at accents somehow. This comes in when one day- Nino has to leave early because of home issues, and Max covers for him and does a perfect voice imitation for him. They all kinda go crazy over it and he’s really happy. Also he, along with Raven and Grim- probably have dishEd out the most damage in one turn so far— making the table scream at some points in shock. He’s planning a few one shots because he knows Chloe wants to play too.
Alix: Alexandra Brenwin- Firbolg Monk. Surprisingly very chill for her usual bombastic personality. Marinette tried her best not to strangle for the very close to civilian name for her character. But Alix is a troll so she doesn’t care. Alexandra is.. very very tall.. look people make fun of her for her normal height she’s living her dream right now. Friend and body guard of Fiona. The fans were skeptical of her at first but grew to love her. Is technically romancing Chloe sense she wonderfully charmed many of Chloe’s npcs. It’s killing the poor dm.
Chloe loves them all but also likes to hurt them by making a terrible amount of cliffhangers, close calls, and twists. Many sessions end with screaming and shoulder shaking, they all become really close thanks to this.
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freyjuseggr · 4 years
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but seriously, if someone searches for heathenry and all they get (aside from racism and sexism) is shitty memes and low effort posts with little thought and less meaning behind them, they will not take heathenry seriously as a religion. not that its essential that those outside the religion take it seriously but. it impacts people who may have thought about or considered it as a religion for themselves. and how are we supposed to have meaningful dialogue with anyone about our religion if all they see are people making memes.
this isn’t to mean that you can’t have fun but please consider posting something else. also if your belief is so lacking that you can’t make posts that aren’t jokes, maybe have a think about that
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johnnys-so · 5 years
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I recall you saying you don't know Day6 well enough for an analysis, but what about now? If you can, we'd love one. Thank you!
HEYOOO! 
Umm a lot hasn’t changed on that front but I feel like the distance might be a good thing so I’m going to attach some small mini-analysis after the cut.
sungjin
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Bob is literally the most dad friend ever and I think he really takes the cake (though GOT7′s JB comes a close second). He looks so constantly done with all of his members, and yet - probably the one who cleans the kitchen and makes sure to stock up on water/ramyeon/veggies etc.
I feel like he was born to be the hyung, you know? He is the responsible and primary caregiver type. Even though he doesn’t make a big show of it, it seems to be a big part of his personality that he takes care of other people
Also, my god his humour is just.... something commendable, truly. He can’t be funny to save his ass but atleast he keeps trying and i think THATS what so funny about him??? sungjin-ah.... never give up bby
I feel like he’s the least complicated of all members. He doesn’t seem to be the emotionally volatile type and seems very centred in his personality, he also seems oddly like he might have a sister? a younger one (does he? idk, mydays pls let me know). it’s just that other than the protective bear stereotype, he does seem emotionally well-adjusted. Maybe he’s just at that point in life where he can encounter a shitty day or some sort of hardship and look at it straight and say - ok, that’s fucked up. But I guess we gotta just work through it. (in comparison, wonpil would be shrieking through his lungs AND working through it)
in terms of a temper i think he most certainly has one but it takes him a while to get there and i don’t think he’d talk through it AT ALL. maybe cleanliness would be his pet peeve? (im just shooting in the dark here)
to wrap it up, sungjin is the sort of guy (in my opinion at least) who has a strong and steady value system and he’s sort of ok with dealing with the world as long as he has it figured out in his head. He knows who he is, and therefore there is little conflict he brings to the world. If he wasn’t playing in this band, I’d 1000% see him settle for the corporate life and clean9 to 5 job which lets him come back home by 7pm and have some cold beer while watching football and hearing his kids play in the living room
Jae
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Aww man this skinny bitch. I feel like the fandom is sleeping on his ‘annoying prankster’ potential because i think  he’d give peeves a run for his money
derives great joy from the misery and anguish of others (probably has Wonpil maniacally laughing in the background)
on a normal day Jae is the sort of person who’s probably going through memes on the phone while everyone’s having a serious conversation about their tour or like their everyday schedules. He has a few things he cares about in life and is okay to take a backseat when it comes to the other shit. As long as he gets what he needs (a possible slytherin mofo?)
But that’s not to say that he’s easygoing or wishywashy about the things that he does care about. Music, matters a lot to him. Even though he’s not academically musically instructed (as young k is) he has spent a whole lot of time and effort into educating himself to the point that it really shows in their albums (i could wax poetry about the complexity of Day6′s music and how its so refreshing in it’s personality of being both goth and peppy i-). So Jae is most certainly determined, goal driven and very intrinsically motivated
Also, very much in his head. If he doesn’t have a strong pisces placement, I’m willing to eat my foot. I feel like while Young K is very intense about his emotions, Jae gets very emotional about the people he surrounds himself with.
With people: not very trusting of everyone. Has a chosen few that he goes to certain things about. Might be the kind of person who distributes his troubles by categories to various confidants. But also, trust is something that is earned with jae. But that is not to say that he won’t get along with other people. He’s cordial and is good in engaging a crowd (as a performer, MC, friend, VJ) but he’s also good at drawing lines and boundaries
the most incredible part of his personality for me has always been his work-ethic and his drive to be better. He’s always challenging himself through his existing skill set, but also pushing himself to learn new things. Sounds like a bloody workaholic to me. 
probably shit at figuring out his own feelings/emotions/attitude about certain things. But always up for being the wise advice-giver to other delinquents (read: jamie)
sarcastic wit to sass everyone for days. probably a loki over thor guy
Kink master extraordinaire. Likes cooking up shit and encourages people to sin.
Young K
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emo baby af. But we all knew this so more on that later
The ultimate Onion of a personality. Young K, off the bat, seems like he hides so many layers. Not purposely at all, but simply because he’s unable to communicate the extent of his mental world to the public
one beautiful way he has found to channelise all of his thoughts and ideas about the world is clearly through his music and lyrics. But he’s also extremely creative in other ways (art and fashion). I feel like he’s the sort of person who feels most confident and assured in himself when he’s creating. 
socially, what a mess. I wouldn’t say he has trust issues like Jae does but im pretty sure he’s made some foolish mistakes about choosing friends and not realising how to navigate that friendship (friendships where he has demanded too much or has been demanded too much of??). But otherwise a jovial fool the kind of person who laughs the loudest (and dorkiest) at a dinner with friends
how’s his alcohol intake? I have this super funny intake of a drunk young k trying to write mini love poems for all his friends and sungjin being called to take him home and the call actually begins with “did he try to be poetic again?”
while im trying to paint a picture of him as a jester (because young k also needs to be seen for beyond his emotionality) he’s the kind of guy that would surprise you with how brilliant he is. An actual wisecrack/genius, and very underappreciated. I wouldn’t be surprised if he someday returns to teaching
Right. Emotionality though. If he isn’t some pisces (sun or moon) i will actually yell. He’s the definition of ‘someone who navigates an alternate plane, is open to a world that most people don’t even begin to understand exists’. i feel like speaking to him about abstract concepts - such as the existence of truth, the point of life, the definition of beauty, other existential phenomenon - would be so much fun because he’s have such an interesting and unconventional take on things. I feel like he’s make me humble with the words he has (he already makes me feel so secure with all of his lyrics because i realize, even if the world is shit what a relief that someone like young k exists)
probably would be a guilt-ridden but a wonderfully emotionally supportive boyfriend. Someone who understands your demons all too well and would go the extra mile to provide whatever help he can
1000% has high neuroticism scores that would be cause for concern. someone give him a Beck’s depression inventory right away.
HAHAHAHAH probably the fucking kinkiest mofo, after Jae
Wonpil
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An actual baby!!
No ok but wonpil has matured THE most in all of Day6 and i really didn’t realise it until i notice how his expressions have become more closed during airport pics, and his voice has gained a new level of emotionality in live stages, and he’s also a lot more reserved these days on variety shows
still the most extrovert in the group. I just think the fame, the crowd, the possible betrayals as a result of their growing fame and having to be an adult in this tough situation - has gotten to him. But that’s inevitable really. None of us can be protected from the reality of life that leeches away at our innocence
such a vibrant soul. Such a giver. As a friend, he’s literal sunshine. Not much of a protector, but more of an amicable I’ll-always-be-there-for-you sort of person (though im guessing the amount of people he extends this courtesy to nowadays has probably reduced. 
fucking made to be an entertainer. He’s naturally funny and attracts all the energy (and eyes) in the room to himself. A very good mood maker if you will
in terms of neuroticism, I think he’d be more on the depression (from the constant stress workstyle and the increasing loneliness) than an anxious person. I think he probably is a bit volatile in his emotions but that’s because he gets lost in the moment. He’s literally someone who lives in the present far more than he lives in the past (sungjin or young k) or the future (jae)
don’t think he's intrinsically motivated much. Prone to a lot of lazy days, a lot of extreme gaming and just randomnly playing jokes and pranks on people. he’d need some strongly external guidance/deadlines to get his work ethic going
high extraversion and agreeableness, probably low on conscientiousness (especially discpline) but fascinated by aesthetic beauty (openness to experience).
Dowoon
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Honest to god i cannot figure him out. I think it’s a case of - im trying to look deeper and harder but the truth is, it’s not even that complicated
underappreciated oppa potential 100000%
still comes through as a dork of a maknae. has zeROhand eye coordination outside of drumming. the kind of kid who breaks the glassware and blames it on his sibling (wonpil) and his parents totally believe him because he could do no wrong (aka sungjin grudginly yells at wonpil, again, about house rules)
just a man dedicated to his drums and his food. if he can play some solid beats, get some work done on the albums, play a nice set on a tour, have some chicken and beer while he is resting, have his hyungs fool around in the green room --> he good bruh
but by no means does that make him a fool (though i do think he’s a bit of a fool sometimes when it comes to picking up social cues about wonpil/jae making fun of him. he lacks the 눈치 you know what i mean)
Also (maybe I just love plot twists) but i think he’d be eerily good at picking up on people feeling sad/depressed/lonely/off in general. He’d be like that guy who just walks into the room and sees you just slinking away on the sofa and he thinks.... nah im just going to give them space and go get myself some food. But literally a few seconds later, he sits by you on the sofa, offers you food, and asks what’s on your mind. The silent supporter kind. Willing to listen, willing to be there for you
i don’t know much about dowoon so im just going to end this with: arms that can lift kids/ crush you in a bear hug/ pin you against a wall and leave bit marks on your neck
sorry if that didn’t cover much. I sort of only know day6 with their music. If im extremely wrong or way off about someone, please reach out and correct me!!
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facelessxchurch · 5 years
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all the people are complaining about how shit the SP fandom has become and I’m just sitting over here like
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Like, years ago I went into the fandom motivated AF. Well, that died rather quickly once I realised that, on Tumblr, you’re straight up going to get excluded if if you don’t ship V.aldug, follow the herd and love the popular characters.
Y’all be complaining about how people don’t reblog stuff anymore, and I just... even while the SP Group like blogs like s.kulduggerydaily where still active which where suppossed to be reblogging ALL SP content I was being mostly ignored until I draw the populare characters. 
I used to put no limitations on art related ask memes but I always ended up drawing a bunch of characters I don’t give a damn about while my own favs got ignored completely.
While previously I didn’t care about the characters that don’t appeal to me, I have to admit, that I’ve grown to resent them. This is petty, I know, but it just really sucks that I produce so much content for my favs which is mostly getting ignored and as soon as I post any art with Skul, Val, Tanith or Dead Men related it just gets showered with love (reblogs + nice comments). And the thing is, I know that the positive attention has absolutely nothing to do with my actual skills and people just like the art bc it’s of fan-favourites and no matter how much effort I put into the art I do for MY favs, it’s never going to get as much attention. And that is just a really shitty feeling. And I know that just how things are. No one is to blame for this and I don’t want to force people to interact with my stuff if they don’t like it, but I still can’t help the bad feeling.
Things got better for me actually. The people that hate my guts have me blocked so pretty much no one is bothering me anymore, I occasionally get asks about my favs which I love answering (even if I’m sometimes slow AF) and there are actually a few more people that enjoy my favs too.
But I am no longer going to fake interest in characters and FC’s I don’t care about. I exluded them from art/fanfiction ask memes too. I’m not going to waste my free time on things I don’t enjoy doing.
It almost feels like I’m not even part of the SP fandom bc I like the wrong characters. Whenever someone asks for writing/drawing prompts/headcanons for SP stuff I always feel like they don’t mean SP stuff, they mean the good guy squad and the dead men stuff. Other blogs complain about the lack of SP content while completely ignoring every single thing I post, then complain about the lack of reblogs when it comes to them themselves.
And... don’t expect me to show courtesies you’re not going to return.
I try to talk with people, offer up an olive branch and get told off for not sharing their interests. Well, excuse me for trying to find common ground. I follow someone and reblog their stuff, voicing my support and instantly get vague posted about (I called them out and they aplogized, but I still unfollowed them). Most times I try to be nice or form new friendships I’m getting fucking bitch-slapped, so fuck me, I guess.
I don’t even want to join any fandom events since half of the fandom hates me anyways and I don’t feel welcome. I straight up can’t join the kinkmeme thing going on bc the admin has me blocked. I’m pretty sure that one person that claims to have blocked most of the fandom is running that blog, yet I still can’t tell if it’s bc of their long-ass blocklist that the blog isn’t experiencing much interaction or bc the fandom is just so damn passive. The fandoms passivity killed the Skulduggery-Weeks thing too and I admit I’m surprised the annual FicTrade is still a thing.Unfortunately that’s not really something I can/want to join bc writing is pain and I’d really much rather draw. I also feel like me joining would also harm any events, just bc, like I said, it feels like half the fandom hates me and I would scare them away and the event would fail bc of of me, which is probably absolutely arrogant of me to think bc half the fandom probably doesn’t even know me, I’m really not important after all.
I really am trying to be positive and kind despite my occassional bitching. If you go through my blog you can see that I’m mostly focusing on the things I enjoy. The posts where I’m bitter about my favs being dragged through the mud and/or criticizing/making fun of Landy are in the minority.
It’s kinda hard to act positive if there is not much to be positive about.
But the feeling of being hated and the general passivity of the fandom are real motivation killers. I really enjoyed hosting a christmas art exchange for my previous fandom (HTF), but for this fandom I can hardly be bothered to do the most low-effort stuff.
You know, this is exactly why we can’t have nice things.
TL;DR: I don’t hate the people in this fandom, for the most part I just don’t care about them anymore. I never felt a sense of community in this fandom, I always felt like the outcast, like most people hate me on here anyways and I’m only being tolerated thanks to my mediocre drawing skills. And I can’t leave either bc I’m just too obsessed with Mev.
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demonzdust · 6 years
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Shut Up - Thiam?
From the WIPs Meme
Title: Shut UpShips: Theo Raeken/Liam DunbarSummary: Theo dances with Liam to help make Hayden and her new boyfriend jealous and Liam is forced to recognize a newfound attraction.
And here, I can share a teaser for this one:
The loud base vibrates on the floor beneath Liam’s feet, it echoes off the walls and drums in his skull in a heavy rhythm.
“What?” he shouts for the third time in a row, hardly able to hear what Theo is saying to him.
Theo looks exasperated. He grabs Liam’s wrist in an attempt to tug him closer but Liam snaps it from his grip. He was not in the mood to feel Theo’s cold smooth fingers on him.
In fact, he would never in the mood for that.
“Do. Not. Touch me.” he lays down the law, only just barely preventing his eyes from flickering gold at him.
“I said-” Theo raises his voice, as he steps closer to Liam, his brows now creased in annoyance. “That you need to stop standing there stiff as a board. You stick out like an idiot.”
Anger rushes through Liam’s veins at the (probably true) criticism. It’d been six months since Liam graduated and joined Scott in his effort to protect pack’s from Monroe across the country. Six months of hardly more than a few weeks in a town before they had to leave.
Which Liam actually found kind of fun most of the time, even if Scott usually stuck him with Theo as a partner in their exploits.
But this town is different.
Because this town is home to the university that his ex-girlfriend attended.
“It’s stick out like a sore thumb.” he growls, inching back a bit from Theo’s close proximity. “You, jackass.”
“Not when you do it.” Theo bites back, unperturbed by the flexing muscles in Liam’s arms. “You look like some kind of serial killer. Like you’re about to snap and slaughter everythone in here.”
Liam swears Theo must like getting hit, because he’s constantly asking for it.
“You’re really one to talk.” he spits back. “How many people have you killed, again?”
A smug smile envelope Theo’s features.
“Yeah, but I don’t look like I do…”
Liam rolls his eyes and Theo jerks his chin towards the numerous club patrons, all bouncing and swaying to the rhythms swimming in the air around them.
Mason would love this place. It’s a mixed crowd of college-aged patrons, full of spectacular lights and the glowing shots in long tubes. Beer sloshes from red cups onto the floor as excited clubbers laugh and stumble, ready to make bad choices and think about it in the morning.
“Seriously, Liam, you’re acting like such a stiff you’re actually going to blow our cover.” Theo is going on. “You want to tell Scott that we couldn’t find the werewolves in here because you couldn’t look like you fit in? Come on…let’s move away from the bar.”
That does shake him out of his stupor, slightly.
He’d been so nervous, scanning the crowd for any signs of her, that he’d practically forgotten why they were here to begin with.
“Yeah,” he says, obstinately even as he follows Theo into the sea of sweaty bodies. “God forbid I get in the way of you sucking up to Scott some more…”
It’d really been getting quite obnoxious. Theo was practically a different person whenever Scott was in the room. His investment in the success of their missions always tied directly tied to how visible any of his actions would be to Scott.
Theo either couldn’t hear him over the loud base or is pretending that he can’t hear him.
That’s when he sees her.
Her nails are painted gleaming silver, her hands curled around the bicep of a tall college jock with overstyled hair.
Liam’s stomach turns.
No one told him he was tall. God, why did he have to be tall?
His eyes narrow in on the guys fingers, that are gripping the curve of his ex’s ass so firmly Liam sees red.
The music takes a violent turn, Liam’s blood turns to fire in his veins.
Without thinking, he lunges towards them.
He doesn’t get more than one step forward, before he’s yanked violently back.
“The hell?” he snarls in Theo’s face. “Get your hands off me!”
“What and let you make a complete ass of yourself in front of your ex and completely blow our cover in this shitty town?” Theo’s grip on his bicep tightens and Liam can feel the prick of his claws. “No way.”
Liam snaps his arm roughly out of Theo’s grip.
“I’m stronger than you.” he growls, his eyes flashing. “Try to overpower me like that again and you’re going to regret it.”
“Put those eyes away - I’m trying to help you, jackass.” Theo retorts. “Now do you want to make Hayden remember all the things about you she probably isn’t missing? Or do you want to make her sorry you broke up?”
“I-wait, what?” Liam blinks. “How are you going to do that?”
“Follow my lead.” Theo says, taking Liam’s wrists with a smirk and pulling him till their right in Hayden’s view - but not obviously in front of her.
“Don’t look at her.” Theo says, keeping his voice low so that no one around them can hear. “Dance with me.”
“Are you serious?” Liam asks, disbelievingly.
“Do you want to make her jealous or not?”
“I-” Liam stutters. “I’m not good at lying…”
Theo rolls his eyes so hard he looks like he’s in physical pain. He takes Liam’s hands and puts them on his hips, then places his own on Liam’s shoulders.
“Then just shut up and let me do it for you.”
At that moment the lights dropout. For a millisecond they’re smothered in complete darkness. The base of the music drops even louder, dim red lights come on up above them, followed by a staggering blaring strobe.
Theo began to move smoothly in time with the music, the contours of his deceivingly graceful body flashing in and out of visibility in the flashing light. He pulled Liam into step with him, and soon they were both moving in the same rhythm.
A moment later he hears her gasp.
Theo tugs Liam around so his back is to Hayden, moving in closer.
“Eyes on me, Little Wolf.”
“Don’t call me that.” Liam growled, digging his nails into Theo’s hips. “You aren’t even that much taller than me…”
“Not everything is about height.”
Liam dug his nails deeper and pulled Theo closer to him to hide his furious expression from Hayden.
“I bet I’ve got you beat in other areas too.” Liam quips.
He can feel Hayden’s eyes on him now, staring in disbelief. Even through the heavy scents of sweat and grime on the dancing bodies around them he can smell her growing horror and jealousy.
It feels more good than he wants to admit.
“Oh do you?” Theo leans his face in so their foreheads are practically touching, his eyebrows arced sexily.
Wait what? No. Not sexy. What was he just thinking? Annoying. The arc of Theo’s eyebrows are annoying.
Dancing with Theo is getting easier and easier. There’s something dizzying about the flash of the lights, and something entrancing about the small beads of sweat that are starting to line Theo’s neck.
Liam finds himself staring at the shape of Theo’s collar bone protruding from the tight dark knit muscle shirt that clung to his torso.
As if on cue, Theo moved in closer.
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notforconsumption · 6 years
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hi this is @runfive!! (from my main blog!) if you're still accepting prompts from the ask meme “Quiet Me” for sam and five or five and simon! (or whichever characters you feel like honestly haha)
Leave a “Quiet Me” in my ask, and I’ll write a drabble about one character trying to calm another down.
 This prompt with these characters has such potential but here I am, making it forlorn like I’m not completely predictable.
Edit: Spoilers! So many spoilers for Seasons 2 and 3.
Simon’s high laugh lasts until the fire-door slams shut behind him and then it falls apart into frantic, heaving coughs. There’s a wet rattle in his lungs that he can feel beneath the heave of his rasping that is blood, he thinks, definitely blood.
It could be more, bits of tissue or even bone from his shattered rib. He doesn’t know if that’s possible. Simon isn’t exactly a doctor and he doesn’t know quite where he’s hit, only that it’s hell riding it out and the process hasn’t even really started yet. 
Thought is chased away by the coughs shaking his ribcage until he feels like he’s falling apart, fallen, and all that will be left of him will be dust and the puddle of blood he’s making on the floor. 
Eventually, the fit passes. Or, rather, it doesn’t so much as pass as Simon’s body runs out of air to cough with. He takes what blessings he can and begins the climb up the fire escape stairwell. The fire-door is thick but not guaranteed to be soundproof. Simon needs to find somewhere out for the way for this next bit.
He leans heavily on the wall to keep upright and the rough concrete scrapes an atlas of grazes into his exposed skin. He leaves a dark trail smeared all the way up to the roof door but the important part is that he makes it there.  The bar keeping the building secure may be heavy and his feet leaden, and he’s pretty sure the pain is making him lose time, but he makes it. 
Up all six flights and out, out into the air where the cold tricks him into breathing and no one but the birds can hear him. 
Before, when he had so much to regrow and they didn’t know if it would work, Amelia had to be there. Now they do know. And this time it’s only a bullet wound.
Simon has come to hate eyes on him at the best of times and Amelia’s jabs are only fun on his good days when he can jab back. Days when he’s got more blood in him and fewer holes. He’s not keen on their new tag along being around for this, either. 
Dealing with Runner Five is a whole ordeal in and of itself. The way they watch him, half the time it’s like they’re back at Abel and he’s just cracked a joke terrible enough to make Five cringe and laugh at once- there’s warmth in their eyes like sunlight and a cup of tea after a long run and something that could be affection but after a long rain, after something terrible. The rest of the time Five looks like they’re about to beat his head in with a brick.
So, yeah. An ordeal.
Simon sways for a moment under the soft light of the setting sun before he decides standing takes too much effort. The floor is filthy with rotted leaf litter but it’s better than zombie bits so he takes the easy way down, letting himself fall against the wall beside the doorframe. His back hits with all his weight and the impact triggers another series of wet coughs. Slowly, as controlled as he can manage, Simon sinks down so he’s huddled in the shadowy space behind the open door. 
It’s all he can do to lean there, his head knocking against the cinderblock every time blood forces its way upwards.  
It’s in all his airways, tasting of iron and sweetness, and though it’s so very hard to think when he can barely stay upright Simon wonders what would happen if he drowned in his own blood, his nose and mouth choked full and no air to flush his lungs. Whether that might be the thing to kill him. You can’t heal a deficit of oxygen to the brain, after all. 
It would be a horrible, painful way to die. The idea frightens him, which is why Simon thinks it might be for the best. It would be something like justice, perhaps, to die choking on the fruit of his sins. 
He doesn’t stop coughing, though, forcing himself to expel mouthfuls of dark blood every time his lungs revolt so it spills down his chin and stains his shirt an ever deeper crimson. He’ll throw it over on to the next roof when he’s done. No sense in keeping a zombie magnet or looking like he’s stumbled off the set of a shitty B-horror slasher. 
Until now most of what Simon has been able to feel has been sharp, blinding pain and the peculiar sensation of drowning while shivering from the wind on his skin. Now he begins to feel the sharp cold in his collapsed lung, in the deepest place the bullet reached. He can feel the icy fire begin to stoke around his ribcage as he begins to mend. A new surge of blood and nausea rises up his windpipe and Simon spasms, exhausted enough that he can barely turn his head to the side. The blood bubbles around his lips and sticks in his throat and suddenly drowning seems less like a hysterical what-if and more like something that is actually happening, right this moment, to Simon. 
Chest heaving, he scrabbles weakly at his shirt collar, at his throat. He thinks perhaps if he could claw open his chest and scrape out all the rot inside it would feel no worse. Maybe better. Cleaner than what this is. 
The rational part of him knows he’ll survive, he’s survived worse, but the louder, bigger part of him that desperately doesn’t want to die is panicking. His eyes snap open, and damn if he doesn’t remember closing them, and there are black spots fizzing and expanding to cover his whole sight like the end is come to swallow him up and he no longer knows whether he can’t breathe because there’s blood filling his windpipe or because all the air has left the sky which is quickly turning to black. 
There’s nothing but the fear. 
Then, there’s a hand on his shoulder, another drawing his knees up and apart, firm and warm on his icy skin. (Cold, so cold. Even as his insides roil in a fever.)Simon is tipped forward, his head low between his knees.  The blood comes easier in this position, he does not have to try, a relief. He does not have the energy to keep trying. 
One of the hands settles at the top of his spine, palm flat against his neck and fingers tangled in his hair. The other runs circles across his back, in time with the quiet hums and shushing that wash over him. Simon barely registers that someone must have followed him up here. The nausea and the freezing cold in his lungs and the dizziness just compound the sheer relief of there being someone, anyone at all. Their strength seeping  into his exhausted body is salvation as they take the reigns from his hands that are too tired, too bloodied to keep holding on. 
The deluge from his lungs does not pass easy.
It passes, still. 
The sun is more than halfway gone by the time Simon can suck in enough air to  do more than just keep hacking away. The dizziness that turned his limbs to clay abates but he stays where he is, shivering at the exertion and at the patterns Runner Five is tracing across his back. 
(Because of course, of course it’s them. When have they ever looked into hell and said not me, not today. Of course.)
They’ve brushed his hair through until it is no longer a knotted mess. Five’s hand still rests there, nails scratching at Simon’s scalp in a way that tingles. Everywhere they’re pressed together sends fine tremors through him- from the hand in his hair to the one on his back to where Five’s bare knee just touches the inside of his thigh where they’re sat between his legs. They’re so warm and present and Simon can’t remember the last time someone willingly touched him. Not to comfort, not to help.
He can’t help it. Simon is a selfish man, he knows this better than anyone. He basks in this feeling, this warmth across his cold and tainted skin. 
In some company that doesn’t sneer. 
It takes a little while for him to gather the strength to end this, whatever this is. Why ever Five helped, why ever they had come. Simon looks up just as Runner Five presses their hand against the weeping hole in his chest.
His breath catches on the feeling of it which should be so much worse than it is. There’s the sharp freeze of the abomination in his blood, chasing out the natural death, almost at skin level now and then there’s Five’s hand. So warm in contrast it’s scalding. The clash is pain and rapture and Simon can’t help but wonder whether this is a symptom of  his condition or of being him. 
Five withdraws their hand and Simon almost chases the contact without thought, fatigue making him weak enough to want it and saving him by taking away his ability to move on the urge. He’s so wrecked right now Five could do just about anything and he’d be helpless. They could take his head. He almost wishes they would. 
It takes Simon a moment to notice what exactly Five is holding, their hand held up to his eyeline and stained with his blood. Crimson pools in their palm and trails down the bones of their wrist, wrapping around their forearm like manacles which is distracting in sick sort of way.
Dented and tarnished, it’s the bullet from Simon’s right lung. 
It’s wrong, so wrong that it’s there. That it’s in Runner Five’s hand, that it was ever in him. That it ever came out.
The urge to say something builds like the tide under Simon’s ribcage. To say what he doesn’t know- to damn Five, himself, everything. To thank them, to tell them to fuck off. It rises and bubbles with the need to ask them to stay, to hold onto him and not let the hellfire burn away any more of what is left of him. 
The need rises to the back of Simon’s throat so thick he can’t draw air so he opens his mouth to speak and vomits thick arterial blood onto Five’s shoes. The coughing returns as the ice and his body fight the wound and one another, forcing dead matter from his mouth.
This goes on for a time. The sky fades from bloody pink to purple to grey and Runner Five holds him throughout, their hands strong and warm and there.
Eventually Simon dozes off and Runner Five waits with him, at some point moving so their back is to the wall and Simon’s blood seeps into their hoodie. Simon wakes a few times before he gets around to thinking about getting up, about moving. It’s a while later that he actually does.
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annarosewriting · 5 years
Text
Facebook Sucks.
To be fair though, all social media kind of sucks.
But Facebook is where the focus of my hatred lies. 
It’s sole purpose upon conception was to rank girls on how hot they were (how have we, as a society, all forgotten that fact?), it fucked with the 2016 election AND it’s stealing our data and giving us ads for products we thought about once five years ago. 
(I also recently learned they took down my girl, Liz Warren’s ads because she, correctly, called them out on their bullshit. We truly live in a dystopian society.) 
Facebook is filled with Local’s whose narrow view of the world helped get Donald and Co. in office and brought fucking measles back. (VACCINATE YOUR KIDS. FUCK.) 
It’s dripping with racist, “all lives matter!” bullshit and sexist, “well what about men’s rights” garbage. Relatives who believe click bait articles over NPR. And of course, everyone only posting The Good Shit that’s happening to them.
I was bored at work the other day and got on Facebook which was my first, and only, mistake. I scrolled down my feed and counted two proposals, one person buying a whole ass house and seven people getting accepted into their dream jobs/higher ed programs.
And for the hottest of seconds, I hated all of those people. I blamed all of my problems on them.
It was their fault I felt like I wasn’t good at my job. Their fault that I was feeling stuck. It was their doing with their emoji-laden announcements that I was feeling overworked, overlooked and under-appreciated. 
Luckily I was able to reign it in and cut those feelings off at the pass. Because that’s ridiculous. And also I know myself well enough that if I did let myself go down that path a depresh sesh would hit so hard and fast that the rest of my week would be ruined.
I think the problem with Facebook and it’s hotter, more successful, cousin Instagram, is that it props up the idea that everyone’s performance art piece they call Life is a perfect, Academy-Award winning darling, that everyone can’t stop talking about.
Except for Twitter. That’s the only place where true Messy Bitch Culture is accepted, allowed and, to a certain extent, celebrated so it can stay. 
In general, I’m very tired of social media. Which can’t bode well for the fact that I chose that as a vital part of my career BUT it doesn’t change the fact it’s an exhausting source of time, energy and a horrifying mix of performance and revenue that society can’t seem to quit. 
I’m weary of feeling like I have to perform constantly. For feeling like I always have to be ON. That I need to measure up to what other people think success is. That my life needs to be one thrilling life event after another. 
In the past, I spent a lot of time, energy and heartache constructing a poorly designed house of cards via Facebook and Instagram posts to prove that I was Someone who was Cool and Fun and Flirty and Someone Who Deserved to Be Adored By Everyone. 
Every day I added to the shoddily constructed set that was my hideously low budget, community theater performance of My Fantastic Life (trademark pending).
Showing off before and after shots of my weight loss. Trying to prove I was in a Cool Liberal Arts College Scene. Snapchatting the evidence of me drinking shitty alcohol and going out. Trying to insinuate that guys wanted to date me. Throwing up full ass albums on Facebook just to prove I had a big ole group of BFF’s. 
I wanted to prove I wasn’t alone!! I wasn’t miserable!!! I wasn’t hanging out with the same two people over and over again!!! I didn’t feel directionless!!! I was someone who had a big group of friends!! Guys wanted to date me!! I had an endless supply of shitty booze and frat parties right at my fingertips!!! I was the QUEEN of having the Classic College Experience and being Someone Who Was Popular!!!!
And I was profoundly, truly miserable. 
The shitty booze caused me to say and do things that I deeply regret. Not to mention the violent hangovers they caused. 
All the boys turned out to be garbage and made me feel even WORSE about myself. Not that that’s a surprise.
The big group of friends disappeared. I was more focused on me and what I could get out of others than being a supportive friend. 
I was wasting so much time, energy and effort into trying to impress a phantom audience instead of trying to figure out what would actually make me happy.
I was doing things and participating in activities that went against what I believed in. 
I was hurting and depressed. 
So, shit blew up in my face. 
It took an overhaul of my life and a long time to realize that that was a learning experience I desperately needed. And because of it, I like who I am a lot more now. 
It made me realize that I don’t care about the numbers on social media. The only reason I’m still attached to it is Chris Evans daily tweets dragging the GOP, getting daily body positive inspiration and to keep tabs on all the members of 1D. 
Except for Zayn. Fuck Zayn. 
It taught me that I can post whatever the fuck I want because truly, who gives a shit. We’re alive on a rock hurtling in space and we’re concerned by how many people will look at a shitty picture of food?? Let me post shitty Captain America meme’s in PEACE.
Most importantly it taught me how I want to use social media and the effect I want it to have on me and the effect I want to have on it. 
I like TYPING IN ALL CAPS ABOUT THINGS I LOVE. 
I love tweeting 40 times in an hour then not tweeting for a month straight. 
I love posting selfies of myself over and over again.
I love not posting on Facebook so no one from high school can know what I’m doing. 
It can be hard to capture the messier, more vulnerable parts of life though. 
Pictures of me modeling can’t capture how violently I beat myself up for skipping a workout or for how ugly I’ve felt for the past few weeks. 
Pictures of me with friends, smiling and having fun don’t reveal the self-doubt that I’m a bad friend and the fear that they’ll all decide to leave me.  
A snapshot of me and my family isn’t a great way to reveal the fear I have of what I’ll do when my parents are gone. 
The Insta story of the Fun Office Thing I’m doing doesn’t convey the many days and hours I sit at my desk, trying to look busy, feeling like I’ll never measure up and how unsure I am of the career choice I made. 
Snapchats of me going out don’t reveal the many nights I’m plagued by the persistent fear that what I’m doing with my life isn’t enough and that I need to do more, more, more, more. 
So it’s challenging to convey the harder, messier sides of life on social media. But I think it’s important though. It can make people feel less alone and who doesn’t want to feel less lonely on this bitch of an earth? 
Recently, I’m caught between the rock and a hard place of, “Why bother posting that? Who even cares?” And “Might as well post that. Who cares?” 
At the end of the day, we all have different thoughts and have read thousands of think pieces on social media. How our society uses and abuses it. How it brings us closer together or further apart. How it’s the best thing to happen to us or the worst. 
So why do I even bother posting this? Who even cares? In the grand scheme of things, does it even matter?
Probably not. 
But I might as well. 
Who cares? 
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