#haha seriously never do that to me

[asksoldieron]

SO-17: Merry Birthday!

If there's a lot of engagement on this, this post is liable to get real long, beware before you expand.

No art, but hopefully my eyes will improve enough to add some later!

Welcome to the Engagement Lounge, for Coffee, Tea or Vodka? (SO-17) an instalment! Short comments can go in the replies, but there's a 475 character limit. Longer ones will need a reblog. Remember to @asksoldieron if you're reblogging someone else's reblog, so I can see it too!

This one is... not particularly festive or birthday-like. Hey, but it's Erik's and my birthday anyways! Now we just gotta sort everything out so we can get Erik home for cake! I'm sure that'll be very simple and not take up to 12 more instalments including at least one double-length one!

So it turns out David, or whatever that is, has non-zero morals and actually cares about John. I'm sure he's just as surprised as the rest of us. Meanwhile, the NDA is trying their hardest to figure out how "David" works, when David himself doesn't know. These are Our Heroes! Or maybe not "heroes," but they're the main characters and I don't have the energy to develop more (haha, I have so many new characters for you to meet, I'm a terrible liar!) so you're stuck with 'em.

This is, of course, the instalment I was working on when that post asking me to add a few paragraphs to my WIP and post 'em strayed across my dash. I've edited a little since then, but now you know who Maggie punched in the face. He'll be fine. He's got a couple weeks to heal while they get ready to rescue Erik... See you next week with the sixth instalment out of six, and the results of their best-laid plans!

[Back to Site?]

#tin soldier and soldier on #instalment #engagement lounge #this is for our birthday AND christmas!! #haha seriously never do that to me #i have enough of that as a kid #i will end you

[sysig]

So much experimenting to be done, where to even start (Patreon)

#Doodles #Handplates #UT #Fellplates #Gaster #Papyrus #Sans #Mostly silliness :) Mostly :) #It's still fun to draw these two Gasters next to each other hehe ♪ Even interacting! #They're more similar than I think either of them would admit haha - ''No clearly we have very different ideals'' sure but you're both Gaster #I like the idea of classic being So Annoyed at any iteration of himself thinking positively towards humans haha #I mean it would probably hurt - that's a big piece of his trauma! - but on the surface it's just Ugh I can't believe this -.ó #I feel like they'd have a lot more common ground when it comes to their experiments tho - not a perfect Venn Diagram but enough! #Maybe even just different enough to offer a new perspective - enough to give them new ideas! Uh oh that's never a good thing lol #I do love Fell!Gaster just so pleased to be having a conversation haha so smiley - classic still not smiling but interested! #Cute face <3 #It was after making the Toriel comic that the thought Really occurred to me - like obviously I saw so I knew they were still in the gowns #But it took a bit for that to strike me as odd since I mean that's just what they wear! That's normal! For Handplates anyway #He talks a lot about isolating whatever it is in Monsters that Make Them Like That - what does that entail #Gaster no seriously what are you doing to them don't just smile actually reply #And as much as I like the boys being a bit more Fell-ish I've always been of the opinion that no matter what they're brothers! #They love each other <3 And in Fellplates they'd have to rely on each other even more than regular Underfell #If anything would cause some codependency it's the Handplates setup - no matter what version you throw at it! #They're still both delicate little things - they need each other to survive ♥ If Gaster is sometimes kind to them well... #Similar to Mercyplates but Not Quite hmmmm #At least sometimes doing cute and harmless things tho! Studies how they react to flowers and teaches them to make chains hehe ♪ #There's also that Underfell thing of Sans calling UF!Papyrus ''Boss'' rather than ''Bro'' yeah? Doodling ideas around that haha #An opportunity to teach! Sans only came away with the basics tho it probably annoys Gaster lol #The idea of them doing cute harmless little things and /that/ being what gets under his skin hehehehe #And ending with a Babybones! :D Surely he'd have no problem being attached since they're meant to be good...? Surely

[yourlittlettoy]

Hi friends! Once again here using my Tumblr like a traditional blog where u share thoughts and updates and stuff haha.

Sorry for being gone for a bit, life was BUSY with plans and now I’m finally back home from a little trip visiting a lovely friend of mine (photos for visual-aid of said trip 😉😇). God I love summer and sunshine!! ☀️☺️🌊🚤🍉

So due to being less active, I did build up quite a bit of notification and message debt. Wanted to take a quick moment and say that unfortunately there is no shot I’ll be able to catch up on all of it in terms of responding to everything, even though I usually really like to stay on top of that; especially with tags and reblogs and comments on my posts! However, I did read and see everything that I’ve missed.

So to all of u that interacted while I was gone: the satisfaction from flustering some of you was absolutely enjoyed 😉~ and on the flip side the backfire from your teasy comments has also been suffered hahaha 🙈. Either way you already know I love seeing interactions from you guys and I’m just so THANKFUL TO HAVE HAD SO MANY TO CATCH UP ON 🥰 sorry again I can’t always be reciprocal, but please know that I adore all of you and am enjoying the heck out of being in your presences with or without direct line of conversation!

Anyway, if it wasn’t clear enough by now, I think the world of u community pals and I hope you all have a day as lovely and awesome as you! (Very lovely and awesome, to clarify haha)

Stay precious 😘💕

#me #photo #even on vacation I didn’t forget about taking pics for you guys~ 😜 #feet #tummy #belly #sunbathing #cece speaks #blog post #life update #seriously tho idek how to describe it but… #I actually check out every blog that pops up in my notifications in any way #I know all of you by NAME pretty much :D #I know I can’t always directly interact in terms of messaging #but I really do feel really familiar with ya’l <3 #in the best kinda community solidarity way haha #so yes believe me when I say I appreciate u and CARE FOR REALS #even if we've never interacted before #anyway I’m RAMBLING I NEED TO STOP MYSELF LOL #thanks for reading my life updates :D

[hoofpeet]

I love this guy 

#hoof draws #fucking N.... love this guy #i can't take him seriously at all tho he's like a really shaky chihuahua to me #[guy who's never spoken to someone his age voice] haha looks like nobody's here . do you want. to go on the ferris wheel

[caffeinatedopossum]

Haha what if all the overwhelming rage I'm suddenly feeling is actually just 21 years of accumulated injustices that I'm only now starting to feel because my self esteem is improving. But then because it's so overwhelming that it feels genuinely unsafe to both myself and those around me for me to express it, I have to repress it further and the only way I know how to do that is to lower my self esteem again so that I don't feel angry cause I no longer feel like I ever deserved better

#haha what if? jk jk... unless 😳 #anyways. how do you express anger like this safely #seriously please help me i need advice im going nuts #i feel like the people i know now have never treated me bad but ive never required them not to (they just do it on their own) #and in some fucked up way i guess this makes me mad at them as if they are treating me badly? #idk. idk how to explain it and when i do it sounds fucking dumb #i dont want to get angry at people who arent doing anything wrong and demand them to do better when its not really about them at all #does any of this make sense #im having feelings that dont reflect my current reality and then feeling ashamed about that 👍 as i tend to do

[seilon]

every newer gen kpoppy who calls it revolutionary every time a big name bg member wears something vaguely skirt-like should be required to watch lee sungjong of infinite putting his whole pussy into performing coming of age ceremony by park jiyoon wearing the song's classic form-fitting black side-slitted dress with zero gimmicks way back in 2012

#its Required Material re: historical kpop genderfuckery #no but im 100% for real. this was in the middle of the era where bg members doing gg songs in drag and whatnot was a really #common gag at concerts and in variety shows and whatnot- especially using bg members who were/are considered the most effeminate #basically it was a big Joke and never taken seriously. alot of the time the dances would be exaggerated and whatnot and yeah they #werent like. REAL covers. werent usually respectful of the original gg/female idol's work and all that. haha man in dress type humor #i know if you're old enough to be following me and into kpop you probably know this already and im talking into space but whatever #anyway. sungjong said fuck that and fucking killed it with a genuine live cover (dance And vocals) of coming of age ceremony #which- as you can imagine based on the title- isnt just an iconic female idol song but one that's blatantly about female sexuality #and whatnot. wore the dress that's in the original mv (or something very similar) and didnt play it up with a wig or anything like that #(like what's usually the case when male idols cover gg songs to make it more clear that its a Costume and they are Crossdressing rather tha #just. being a guy and wearing a dress.) #did not shy away from the sexiness of the dance AT ALL to the point of riding the floor at one point more or less which. god fucking damn #but anyway. it's totally true to the original and is unapologetically sexy in an inherently orientation-fucking gender-fucking way and GOD #wish it got more attention than it did because THAT is revolutionary. thats the first performance i ever saw where a male idol did a #female idol song in the original female idol outfit live without any gimmick or even the implication that it COUNTS as drag. its SUCH a #big deal imo. and it helps that its really fucking hot but thats neither here nor there. anyway. i know its been years but i still have so #many feelings and opinions about sungjong's coming of age ceremony performance ghfgjhdgfdh WATCH IT #sungjong #infinite #kibumblabs

[rockethorse]

When artistic visionary Ann Ghelld passed away, she bequeathed her beloved townhouse to the city as affordable housing for fellow creative types... on one stipulation; that nobody touched its eccentric and wildly impractical layout. While this final request has caused its share of architectural headaches, nonetheless, the Ann Ghelld Building survives in the heart of Sim City’s basket weaving district. Upon crossing its unusual threshold you might grab a coffee from Cafe Urele, pick up a bouquet or snacks from LlaMart Convenience, or simply catch the elevator up to any of its three apartments.

I love watching LilSimsie’s videos, even though we play different editions, and I particularly enjoy her shell challenges - where she uploads empty exterior walls and others have to make a lot out of it. I especially liked this one, referred to lovingly by LilSimsie & her followers as the “Big Mistake Shell Challenge” - because all the exterior walls are 100% diagonal.

This is just as difficult to work around in TS4 as it is in TS2, so I wanted to join in the torture! The (wonky) red lines mark the untouchable shell. I ended up really happy with the results, so I’m sharing this fully-furnished, cleaned, play-tested, CC-free apartment building in the hopes you’ll enjoy it too.

Important info, more pics & download link below!

🚨 PLEASE LOAD THIS LOT BEFORE MOVING SIMS IN 🚨

When you move Sims into an apartment, it’s difficult to safely alter anything outside, so please make sure to check that everything is as it should be before you move Sims in.

You do not need CC or mods to play this lot. However, it was made with a few common mods in mind, and if you don’t want to use them, please tweak the lot before playing:

Rugs have been placed off-grid. Either make sure you have Rugs Off The Grid, or delete/move rugs to avoid graphical glitches as seen in these previews.

If you don’t have Water Inaccessible Flowers and Trim Inaccessible Bushes then you may need to move/delete some landscaping and/or fences.

The ground floor was designed for use with Apartments & Shopping On The Same Lot. If you don’t use this mod, nothing bad will happen, but the bottom floor will not sell anything except via the vending machines & electronics kiosk. You can replace the convenience store with a common area such as an indoor pool, computer room, etc, or even another apartment; I honestly recommend leaving the cafe as-is, because your playable Sims can still work there as a barista.

There is no CC in this lot, but there are some deco "accessory” items not normally accessible by players (e.g. a saucepan). If you delete these you may not be able to replace them. Similarly, some items were placed with Shiftable Everything. If you delete some items you may not be able to replace them in the same positions without this mod.

A corner counter in the top apartment may not corner properly when the lot is placed. This can be fixed with moveobjects. Although it clips, it is considered within the apartment, so you can put objects on it without apartment cheats.

If you don’t use Shiftable Trash Chutes, your chutes may appear glitched (see below). This is harmless and can be fixed simply by replacing the chute. Note: the chute on the second floor was originally placed with the cheat setquartertileplacement on.

If you play with CC, then I also have some suggestions for where it might improve this lot:

The expensive computer in the cafe (I hate that hideous thing) would be much better as a laptop.

The flower plots on the rooftop would also make a great produce garden with Honeywell’s placeable garden plots.

You can replace a corkboard in the lobby with a jobs board.

The signs for Cafe Urele might look nicer with a recolour or swapped out for a cute sandwich board.

The bike racks by the basketball court look a bit bare without some deco bikes.

The bare brick wall at the back of the building is prime real estate for some graffiti.

The busker’s guitar out the front will look a little more appropriate with an invisible amp recolour and maybe a decorative case.

If you find all the lights overpowering, don’t forget to turn some off.

And of course, don’t forget to add fences, hedges, etc. that will make this lot blend in better with the surrounding lots in your hood.

The first apartment has two separate bedrooms; Currently, it’s furnished as though occupied by two unrelated roommates - one sewist and one musician - but it could also work for a parent and a child. It has this kitchenette common area as well as a small balcony.

The second apartment is the most “luxury”. It’s a cozy open-plan studio with a double bed, a small but quality kitchen, and its own balcony. This is ideal for a D.I.N.K couple or perhaps a single Romance Sim.

The top apartment is the smallest and cheapest, barely fitting a kitchenette and single bed, but there’s space to move out on the building’s largest balcony. Perfect for an artsy single Sim working or studying in the big city. (The little reading nook bumpout is my favourite detail.)

All bathrooms are more or less identical, with a toilet, basin, medicine cabinet, trash can, and shower. The second floor studio has a shower/bath combo.

I wanted the lot to have free skilling opportunities, so all residents have access to the rooftop garden and free use of the crafting station & chess set there. There’s also a bookcase in the cafe, a guitar on the street for busking, an outdoor gym, and a basketball hoop.

Sims should be able to access everything (except the flowers/hedges - see above) without routing errors, though of course, with such an “interesting” layout, your Sims might get a bit cramped and fussy. The only issue I ran into is that there’s nowhere on the second floor for the newspaper to be delivered, so it often glitches into the apartment on the left, regardless of which apartment you live in. You can retrieve the paper in buy mode without cheats. This is not an issue on the top floor.

Thank you so much for reading! I don’t remember the last time I shared a lot for download; if you do end up playing it, I’d love to hear how it went.

Download Ann Gheld Building [CC Free]

#the sims 2 #ts2 #sims 2 lot #I don't know what to tag this with lol #sniffles. looks at you directly. please clap #I never considered myself a builder so sharing lots makes me way more nervous than sharing CC! #if you like it then reblogs would mean ... the Sim world ... [staring at you with huge eyes] #in all seriousness though this was so fun I love shell challenges. It being entirely diagonal was SO interesting #in TS4 and TS2 alike a lot of items NEED to be on straight walls to function #TS4 doesn't have elevators or spiral stairs though so their stairs situation was even harder haha. I do feel bad about that #but placing things like toilets and counters etc was hard because they look best against straight walls #and some other items just don't function diagonally. like some of the dressers. or they do but need a 4x bigger footprint #and I couldn't use any of my precious walk-around/through blocks!! because CC free!! #I do adore Shiftable Everything though god bless modders #I'm experimenting so much more now that 1) I don't have to fiddle with OMSPs and 2) I know I can share it wantonly #I think my favourite little outcome of the extreme space/orientation restrictions were that I actually had a reason to put trash cans #in the bathrooms. Like that was the only place they would reliably fit #because all the bathrooms were so weirdly shaped because they all needed straight walls. so they all had little pockets #meanwhile the rest of the apartment typically didn't have space for a bin where it would be accessible in normal gameplay #I never put trash cans in Sim bathrooms normally because there's no need for one there even tho IRL it's probably like #the most common place to have a trash can after the kitchen #BAM. Lil bit of realism for you. Two sim birds with one sim stone #anyway I'm rambling. I had a lot of fun with this and I'm gonna do more shell challenges and maybe share more builds #there's also a little rockethorse easter egg for you to find if you do download it #thank you again for reading! #rockethorse lots

[worstloki]

it's actually canon that thor will say 'i love you too' to mjolnir for listening to his rambling but not to loki who has just said he will always love him

#im like dsjhsfdbsjdbfshfhjd fs thor bro come on pull yourself together #i can't believe i HC that it's loki's death that makes thor be a better person im so right for that like literally what is this #Loki: sometimes I'm envious. but never doubt that I love you. #Thor: thank you #do u think Thor cringed internally or was he busy being caught up in the coronation and only looked back on it later #I would like to think this isn't a recurring pattern #like Thor r u seriously saying you love mjolnir for the 78th time today. you haven't said that to ME in centuries now. Thor. Look at me. #Thor like nervous chuckle idk what u mean Loki haha you're so silly with your. words. haha #Thor (internally): i'd say i love loki but that's sus. mjolnir is a girl hammer so that's ok. #like honestly Thor deserves a stabbing at this point #bet thor would drunk ramble to loki and be like thank u loki. goodnight. and then loki can hear him talking to mjolnir in the other room #''i love you mjolnir'' ''mjolnir you're such a good friend'' ''i couldn't ask for a better weapon'' thor the only tool in the room is u rn. #go say sorry to Loki #smh #''always protect jane for me mjolnir'' thor she's a mortal while your supposed-to-be-longer-lived brother has died. twice. #goodness

[bloodyke]

the way theres so many polls i legit cannot answer bc i have memory problems

#zenith.txt #im not joking when i say i cannot remember large swaths of my life like im being 100% serious i Do Not Know #me saying i dont remember doing/saying/etc this isnt like a haha silly quirky minor thing im being serious i legit forgot #I WANNA TELL PEOPLE WHAT MY FIRST XYZ WAS BUT I CANT BC IDK #i could probably guess but ill never know if it was or not #and lowkey it kinda annoys me when i say i have memory problems and people dont take me seriously or say someshit #like oh well you remember xyz in great detail so youre lying you have an excellent memory #bc thats not how it works lmaooooooo #of course i remember in detail my special interests i soend 24/7 thinking about them and will go insane without #and even then i still forget a majority of things about my special interests and hyperfixations bc I HAVE MEMPRY PROBLEMS

[apatheticlexicographer]

to be completely honest, the stranger things fandom has damn near ruined the show for me lmfao

#and i don't mean in the 'i know too much i can never be satisfied as GA again' way #people are just soooooo fucking petty #and i swear to god nobody in this fandom seems to remember that it's supposed to be... fun??? #for them and for everyone else #like. bro. have u considered sitting down and maybe drinking a glass of *insert preferred juice* #people take the stupidest shit tooooooo seriously #also HEAVILY controversial opinion so i'm banking on nobody seeing this lest i get hashtag cancelled: #the vast majority of the characters are pretty bland and have middling chemistry #yes. this includes mike and will #i enjoy them. i like them. i don't think they're BAD. but sweetheart they are not that deep i'm sorry ToT #truly fascinates me how worked up people get over a handful of fictional pubescent suburbanites #yeah i'm losing followers if anybody sees this but i honestly do not give a shit #it might just be the mental illness but i barely care about any of it anymore even on a perfunctory level #i miss stranger things being a show i really really liked without being muddied by how fucking annoying fandoms are #(just in general but indo tend to fall into obnoxious ones and ST is no exception) #honestly half the entertainment i've gotten here has been from participating and half has been from watching other ppl squabble #i guess we all suck. haha #i'll probably be less of a holier-than-thou jackass in a couple weeks when i maybe get new meds #but til then i am honestly so sick of logging onto tumblr and having my dash at least half full of stranger things #i'm sick and tired and bored. i just wanna enjoy my blorbos in the peace of my own mind and then forget about them for a couple of years #maybe the hyperfixation is finally ending #honestly??? i hope so #lexi stfu challenge

[atomicengineerdetective]

No one talk to me I just came back from a family vacation to find out my favorite youtuber ever is leaving the platform.

I am devastated.

(I am actually happy for him, he has given me so much happiness for like 8 years. He deserves to let the channel go an enjoy his life. It just hurts, but I'll get over it

I'm so thankful for MatPat and Steph. I Hope every future endeavour or project they take on is successful and that over all they have a happy and fulfilling life with Ollie.💚❤️💛💙)

#I leave to a place with no cellphone signal and come back to this? #may be the lord was protecting me idk #What do I call this? a personal rant? Im not really ranting more like letting my feelings out #venting if you #never done this on my blog before but I feel like I have to #I've been a Fan of game theory since I was like 13 or 14 #He was like the first youtuber I ever suscribed to #that spoke english cause my first language is spanish lol #His videos and overall community meant a lot to me. I dont know how could I possibly express that #Of course Im going to still watch the videos after he is gone with the new hosts but still it wont be the same #Hope this doesnt sound too like sad. I dont mean to be negative. I am legitemetly so proud and happy for him #I mean He had one of the classiest goodbyes of YouTube at least I can say my favorite youtuber was never cancelled thats a win haha #But seriously he has achieved so much and has over all been such a positive influencer how could I not be proud to call myself a Fan #so truly I am not sad He ended on the highest note you could ask for. I cannot ask for anything more from him. #I am not sad However I did cry like a Baby during the Video. Man I just. Im tearing up even thinking about it #but anyway #You bet I am going to watch every single one of his videos the second they upload until march 9. #And then I am going to dedicate the day to the celebration he supposedly plans for then #I will probably vent some more in a bigger post then too. like I did in this tags lol. #Right now... I just cant. I need to process a little more heh #MatPat #Matthew Patrick #The game Theorists #game theory #goodbye matpat

[pochapal]

I don’t know if you’ve been asked this before, but what was your experience with detective mystery novels before umineko?

i've always gravitated towards stories with mysteries or something obtuse to puzzle over and figure out but i'm not actually that versed in detective fiction at all haha. the genres i'm normally into lean more towards horror and speculative/literary and also everything that homestuck is so while a lot of stuff i read does have central mysteries guiding their plots, the specific construction of detective mystery isn't something i am incredibly familiar with on the whole.

my closest experience to detective mystery fiction was actually when i was super into danganronpa as a teen and i ended up trying to write my own original killing game fan story. i never finished it and it's kind of cringe looking back at it but i did spend several years of my life trying to construct solid "hard but fair" murder mystery cases (i still have a bunch of files on my hard drive from when i planned it all out lol) that i think taught me a lot about the experience of a murder mystery from both the perspective of the writer and the reader. a lot of that was making up a guy in my head and imagining them trying to catch me out based on where their thinking would likely be at each stage. so then i was also thinking of my mystery but also how to throw this hypothetical guy off the scent while still making something solvable. the writing process was very much like chessboard spinning but if you put the chessboard in a 1 million rpm washing machine and turned into a weird psychological game of cat and mouse between me and a person that didn't necessarily exist.

the mysteries i published were kind of not that great (their conceits were "how can you find *the* culprit when the culprit is actually two people in tandem" and "an incredibly obvious case that becomes complicated by everybody else's assumptions and overthinking") since i wrote and planned them out when i was like 17 but the later cases i never got around to doing when i hit my stride and sketched out the rest of this story would have been way cooler (one murder was going to hinge around a really nasty wordplay trick to do with the time of death that technically wasn't a lie but was incredibly misleading and deceptive and another was an elaborate cause-effect chain involving a publicly witnessed indisputable suicide as the trigger) if i'd gotten around to completing the story. i will forever be haunted by this one particular locked double locked room murder i spent six months of my life sketching out down to the minute by minute positioning of the characters. it would have had the 2018 fanganronpa community trembling in their boots if i had ever realized my vision lmao.

anyway i guess my experience with detective mystery fiction is coming more from the position of a writer than a reader which i think comes through a little when you examine some of my thought processes (my approach at times is very much "if i was writing this story right now what would i do here" and then i search for evidence to try and back that up) even if i'm not super well-read or familiar with the genre outside of like one vn series lol. i know about making fiction and i know about keeping people guessing via revealing and concealing information and past a certain point most fiction operates under similar principles so that's how i got into understanding and approaching mystery. i think it's a fun genre, both to produce and to read now that i'm reading something that is more seriously presenting itself as a piece of detective mystery fiction! umineko is good because it really is scratching a specific kind of itch i never really address in my own writing these days because there's a specific time and occasion to produce these kinds of mysteries. hope this illuminates my understanding of/relationship to this genre a little more!

#nauseating-nostalgia #i always think writing detective/mystery fiction is fun and i should do it more but i never really get the chance haha #oh i also know vaguely about that infamous 'rules of detective fiction' list (i think it's also referenced in a zero escape game?) #specifically the 'secret doors/passageways are signs of a hack mystery writer and should be avoided at all costs' rule #which made me super mad when i was planning my danganronpa story because i did in fact have a secret passage plot point #and ended up scrapping it because i was afraid these detective fiction rules were taken seriously and everyone would trash my story lol #can't remember any of the other like million rules that were there except for that one that made teenage me feel SO insecure lmfao

[countess-of-edessa]

i don’t need a boyfriend and my life is full and fulfilling without any romance! as long as there is a cute boy texting me constantly, going to all social events with me and hanging out with me there the whole time, driving me everywhere, hanging out with me during all our formal events, spending at least three or four hours a week just talking with me in his car, sending me pictures of sunsets he sees, complimenting all my outfits, and going with me to get ice cream and look at the moon together, and he only does all of these things with me and nobody else, i do not need a boyfriend to feel fulfilled.

#what an annoying way to learn i am a Normal Girl kind of!!! #i didn’t think i was but i don’t have a good frame of reference because like. high school. did not want a boyfriend was just chilling #and very busy. college. was so deep in a depressive spiral i had pretty much accepted i would live and die completely alone and men didn’t #even figure into it and i just kind of assumed i would never attract that kind of attention in any way and was busy being miserable anyway. #so grad school was the first time i was like haha! this is how i can live my life happily as an adult! i have just a couple of close friend #and im so happy! i guess i really am one of those people who doesn’t really need romance in her life because im fine living without it if i #can keep my friendships the way they are. and now im like wait so why am i sad all the time now? #and upon further reflection i think everything might just be a mess now because i am stupid literally no matter what way you slice it #pray for me but also don’t take my posts too seriously i can’t talk to anyone about this in person so it’s over represented on my tumblr bl #i mean i do think about it every waking moment but like. im also doing other stuff and multi-tasking

[cakemoney]

thinking about the whole robpat!batman movie’s thesis being “shit. fuck. turns out this whole time the legacy of my rage and vengeance-fueled vigilante justice has been enabling domestic terrorism by entitled white men. all along what this city needed and what i needed was healing and extending our hands to our neighbors instead of continuing the cycle of trauma and violence” like the movie put their whole chest into that. it looked at their audience and said to their face “you guys never actually understood what batman is about. you saw the dark brooding aesthetic and the toxic masculinity and the individualistic lonewolfism and you see that as something to aspire to, when the point of batman was always Corruption And Evil Exists Within Those With Power And Money Not In Mental Illness, and by missing that and making it all about yourself you became the villain of this story.” in theaters right in front of batman stans. no wonder robpat was cast for this like i’ve never seen someone pull off self-loathing white man so naturally

#laughs awkwardly #sorry i watched black adam recently (long story) and like. i can't help but feel like the subversive parts of it #just weren't as strong as how it felt to watch a batman movie where batman had to beat the crap of his own fans #like [SPOILERS] black adam wanted to be self-aware about superhero films and wanted to point out the american propaganda #inherent to the concept of 'international justice' but because it was primarily pulled off through funny quips it felt like it didn't COMMIT #(felt very marvel in that respect actually) #like yes your main character told off the western superheroes for the hypocrisy of their 'peace' efforts but then... what? #in the end the westerners were still the genuine and helpful people they claimed they were. the main characters had to trust them to survive #in the end the self-actualization of an oppressed people felt hollow because we barely spent any time with them during the story #in the end the people's chosen hero turned out to be not who they thought he was and his character turning point to become a hero was... #he magically knew to break out of an underwater prison? honestly that part was a little confusing to me but extremely horrifying #like this guy basically explicitly said 'you should kill me. that's what i want' AND THEY JUST DID NOT DO THAT #like obviously i know he needed to come back since the movie was about him but like. damn. way to not at all respect his autonomy #he said 'i should die' and they went 'haha but instead we're gonna put you in storage forever so you never reunite with your family in death #HORROR. THE MOST DYSTOPIAN SHIT I'VE EVER SEEN. YOUR BODY IS NOT YOUR OWN IN CASE WE FIND IT USEFUL LATER #WE'RE SO PEACEFUL THAT WE CAN NEVER ACCEPT [GASP] MURDER BUT ANY OTHER VIOLATION OF YOUR CONSENT IS FINE #HOW WAS THIS BRUSHED OVER SO CASUALLY #WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT BEFORE #yeah you know what i don't really know where i was going with this either. i just had Thoughts #like did i think the rob!patman the movie took itself so seriously it was accidentally kind of comedic? yeah for sure #but because they took it seriously it felt like the element of metacommentary was sincere. like i can also take it seriously #i keep thinking about that scene where rpatz was interrogating the riddler and the horror that dawns on him #because he's looking at this man who idolizes batman but despises bruce wayne and realizes Oh God That's Me. This Is What I Created #like shit dude i don't think superhero films necessarily should or must be Deep in an Artistic way but i can give them props for trying?

[fiepige]

Hey I just wanted to let you know that your comments on crying wolf have done SO MUCH for me over the past weeks. Seriously I go back and reread them at least once a day and they're such a delight every time. I oftentimes feel like my writing is subpar and not up to scratch when compared to other authors (terrible habit, I know, but one that's hard to kick) and your comments reassure me that at least I'm doing something right! I've also never attempted anything like crying wolf before - I never really got into writing action or violence but I'm being self-indulgent right now anyway because I figured if I enjoyed reading and watching it then I should have a crack at making some for myself. And as with most things, it takes a while to really get the hang of it (and I'm bad at accepting that I might be bad at something).

This is just a really long-winded way of saying thank you for your comments. Readers like you really encourage and motivate us to keep chugging along <3

(This is candyfloss-esophagus btw. If you hadn't realised by now lol)

Hey thank you so much for sending this message! I'm honestly just sitting here like:

Your writing is amazing and it makes me so happy to hear that my comments mean so much to you! Idk how to explain it but reading your fic just makes me feel so many great emotions!

I've been thinking about chapter 3 all day and I get this great bubbly feeling in my chest whenever I think about it? Idk how to describe it, but it just makes me feel incedibly good whenever I think about it? Does that make sense? Probably not but I don't know how else to articulate it ^^'

(Also that last line hits me so hard every time! I'm stil NOT over it!!!)

Like Idk I haven't read a lot of fics that had such a big impact on me emotionally (in a good way!) so I really want to do what I can to support you in return!

(Seriously I love how you write, your way with words is so creative and it really sets the scenes so well! Like I can just FEEL the tone of the scenes when I read them)

#hope this makes sense lol #english is hard #but seriously when I'm writing I'm like it's not as good as the fics I read by other ppl #but I'm still doing it in hopes someone will like it just a little bit #and then I read stuff from peole like you and I'm like #I'll never be as good as them #but I still wanna share my work cause I'm really trying to focus on the 'holy shit two cakes!' mentality #if that makes sense haha #once again thank you so much for letting me know that my comments motivated you it makes me so happy! #I've read your fic so many times now #I love it so much #it lives rent free in my head #candyfloss-esophagus #ask #my post #just giving it that tag so I can find it later #crying wolf

[mako-island-moon-pool]

You want to know how bad my memory is?

I was writing last night and I just straight up forgot that Sanji exists. I have been watching this show since 2012, he was my fave Strawhat outside of Luffy pre-TS, and I FORGOT HE EXISTED.

I was like 'hm yes well the ones who would understand are Nami and Robin... W- wasn't there one more I was thinking of a moment ago? Wasn't there another one who'd Get It?????'

'it's not Chopper. Definitely not Usopp. And it's not Zoro. That's all the remaining Strawhats at this point in the story. So... Why am I convinced I'm forgetting someone? Let's go through the arcs in my head agai- OH MY GOD, I FORGOT SANJI'

#When I tell you my memory is shit... 😭 I used to own a Sanji shirt. What the fuck?? #When that post about the memory issues finally leaves my queue #Like I joke about it but this shit can be genuinely terrifying. Like knowing my brain is getting worse. Knowing I'm probably forgetting #Seriously important things and just 'oops I can't remember haha' #It's scary. #I'll never get better because I'll just relive the pain over and over because my brain refuses to remember the help and progress I make #Every day I wake up back at step 1 it's so depressing and scary and horrifying and I hate it #I can never process anything bc I just forget and if I do remember it's like a punch to the chest for the first time every time #And people get SO sick of you after a while. Constantly asking for help. Never remembering anything. They get so annoyed with you. #Anyway. On a lighter note (not actually) I'm trying out a new one-shot :) #Not to speak ill of the 'soon-to-be' dead but Garp was a shit grandfather #So I was like What If Me And Luffy Had The Same Reaction #Because self love starts in recognizing your self through the other god damn it #Even if I finish this idk if I'll post it bc of how personal it is but it has been very cathartic to write #Then again I could just publish it anonymously so my irl friends won't see it. No harm no foul. #I (kid) once pushed my mom (grown adult) out of my room when she caused me to have a meltdown so I could 100% see Luffy doing the same thin #In my defense she had a habit of taunting me and destroying my stuff to punish me after inciting meltdowns and I just wanted to be alone #I was like 7 years old at the time (hell year hell year) so I doubt I actually hurt her. She just looked surprised. I remember that. #Sometimes I wonder why I identify so much with werewolves and then I remember ah yes. The childhood of being treated like a monster. #Like a freak because when people kept pushing your boundaries you'd rather bite than let them do whatever they want to you #Oh boo hoo such a terrible thing for a child to be... Protective of themselves... #ANYWAY. like I said this wasn't going to be much lighter. #I want Luffy to punch the lights out of Garp to protect his friends. Not even in-canon just in this fic #Ik in-canon Garp is a complex guy and loads of fans love him but... Smash eggs make sandwiches know what I'm saying? #Yeah GROOVY