#never done this on my blog before but I feel like I have to

[hypnobrainwasher]

So you're a virgin...

but you're also reading this, a post from a rather sexually-charged and fairly corruptive blog on Tumblr, a place well-known for blogs of this sort, which means you probably aren't interested in staying a virgin all that much longer. And gosh, I hope you're 18, because if you're not, you need to leave; what I'm about to say is not for little ears.

(Also, the concept of virginity is absolute hogwash and needs to be relegated to the dustbin of history, but I digress.)

I see you. I see you in my likes. I know what you're about, and you're just about ready to admit it. It's there, right below the surface, just a whisper away from getting out. I know you. You want sex, but not just sex. Not the kind of sex girls typically have on their first time, the awkward fumblings of two inexperienced people figuring everything out for the first time, the kind where he awkwardly blows his load ten seconds in and you're left to wonder what all the hype is about for sex. Not that sex.

You want to get railed. You want to get used. You want to be FUCKED.

You're tired of being a slut online but a virgin in practice. You've thought this through. It's time.

Maybe he's a little older. Maybe a lot. You've always known where to find him. He's definitely experienced. He will make you cum with his mouth and then pound your pussy until you can't form a coherent thought. He'll blow your mind, but that's okay, you're tired of thinking. It's just easier to listen and please him, and that feels right. You'll do the things you fantasized about for so long. It'll be depraved and wonderful.

Maybe she is a little older, or a lot. She'll leave your legs shaking and questioning everything you know. She'll make you wonder why you didn't do this so much sooner. And she'll smile at you as you have another orgasm and let out a moan the likes of which you've never heard before, and call you a good girl, and you'll nod as you gasp for breath. She's right.

Maybe one person isn't enough. Maybe you need two. Maybe you want to be spit-roasted for your first time, finally used how you're meant to be used after all these years. Finally where you're supposed to be, full, pleasing, of service. Finally home.

Maybe two isn't enough. Maybe you have that older friend who has done stuff like this, who knows a guy, who knows a guy. Maybe you want to go really big, and you want to have a lot of sex for your first time, with different guys, and this friend sets it up. They all come over. They all cum all over. It's your dream, finally realized, and you have to share it. You just have to.

You'll come back here, sore, tired, but feeling amazing. You understand now what the hype is about. You want to share it all with us, because we're the only ones who understand who you are, the only ones who see you, really see you. And we'll be here, encouraging you to be the best version of yourself. The version you decided no longer includes being a virgin.

We're so glad you're here.

#bimbo doll #bimbofied #edging kink #mind corruption #edging and denial #brainless #dumbification #hypnosis #edging slave #hypnotized #edging challenge #edgeing #cant stop edging #edging nsft #edging my mind away #bimbo hypnosis #bimbo girl #bimboization #bimbo training #bimboification #bimbo babe #bimbo in training #bimbolife

[angelisgonnastartchangingurls]

tom

for the next few weeks, annie's life was very steady and predictable. she saw tom often. they went on dates, and they went back to his apartment and had lots and lots of sex. this was done with very little regard for the fact that alicia was still there -- no longer in the wheelchair, but still so unsteady on her feet that, for instance, tom had to help her in and out of the bath. annie was sure he didn't mind.

annie was loud in bed with tom, and tom was a talker. he loved telling annie what a good girl she was as he jerked off against her tongue.

tom could really fuck. annie could tell he was always paying attention to what she liked and leaning harder into it. every time they fucked she came harder or came more often, except sometimes, when tom sensed her desire to be used, and fucked her with no regard for her pleasure, leaving her to masturbate when he was done. she loved that.

alicia saw annie naked all the time -- annie had kept up with shaving her pussy, just because. but she also saw tom -- tom was not disciplined at all about closing his bedroom door, and so alicia frequently passed by as annie was blowing him or he was railing her hard from behind on the bed.

annie never saw alicia in less than her underwear, but tom told her when she wasn't around, alicia was "almost always" either bottomless or topless.

annie thought about them when, late at night she'd go home to robbie, and if casey hadn't been over to drain his balls, annie would do it on her behalf. what would tom and alicia think of this, she thought to herself as she guided robbie's cock into her pussy. it was becoming a rare thing, though, she and robbie. they both had someone they were getting serious about.

one evening, at tom's, annie and alicia got stoned while tom was out picking up dinner, and alicia asked annie if she'd help her with something delicate. "sure," annie said. "what do you need?"

"my hands are too shaky to shave my pussy properly," alicia said.

"say no more," annie said, taking her to the bathroom.

annie helped alicia shave everything, and she was dressed by the time tom got back.

"what did you two get up to?" he asked as they sat down to dinner.

"annie helped me shave my pussy," alicia said cheerily.

"really?" tom laughed.

alicia stood up and pulled down her jeans and shorts.

"nice handiwork," tom told annie.

"don't put them back on," annie told her. alicia let her shorts and panties drop.

"are we doing bottomless dinner?" tom asked.

annie stood up and pulled down her jeans and panties. "yeah." she said.

"okay," tom said. he stood up and pulled down his pants and boxers.

they laughed, sitting at the table, all bottomless.

"do you and your brother do this at home?" alicia teased.

"not specifically," annie said. "but we see each other naked constantly."

"was it always like that?" alicia asked.

"no," annie said. "i really feel like as a big sister i failed at that when we were teens. like, he should have been spying on my friends and me having lesbian encounters in the shower, right? what good is a sister for otherwise?"

"that was our aunt ellen," alicia said.

"she was the best," tom said.

they told her about ellen, her mom's younger sister, a wild, gay hippie who was in her early 20s when alicia and tom were teens. she'd given alicia weed, and had emailed tom a link to her friend's blog -- the friend was a photographer who took nude photos of ellen and her friends. tom told annie he would visit his aunt's apartment after school, and she would do things like take off her skirt and walk him through her anatomy. "she was never wearing underwear," tom said.

annie asked if she had a nice hippie bush, and tom said "no, no, she was always waxed."

"that's a very specific era of hippie," annie observed. she clocked that everyone was speaking of ellen in the past tense. she'd killed herself before her 30th birthday, alicia explained.

they walked around bottomless after dinner, enjoying the silliness and the sexiness of it. annie and tom made out on the couch and tom got hard in full view of alicia. when annie went to sit on tom's cock, he moved her to the bedroom, though.

that night, after two hard fucks, tom told annie something alicia didn't know about their aunt ellen. a few months before she died, tom said, ellen had invited him to an orgy at her apartment. tom had been 21 at the time, and had gone. "obviously," he laughed.

tom being a man of notable cock size, he'd quickly attracted attention at the orgy, which, he'd told annie -- he'd walked into in full swing already, everyone fully naked. he said there had been about 15 people there -- 6 men, 9 women. ellen had come right up to him at the door and undressed him, and then, as one of ellen's friend's sucked his cock, he'd watched his aunt fuck a man on an ottoman across from him. he said that as luck would have it, most of the men came within a few minutes of his arrival, and so for a brief time he was the only hard cock in the room, and the women had lined up to try his big shaft. he said it was obviously a record he'd never broken -- penetrating nine women in something like 10 minutes.

"wait," annie said, grinning. "all nine?"

tom smiled. "yes, all nine women in the apartment."

he said ellen hadn't even gone last -- she'd ridden him right in the middle of the group. the evening had gone on with lots more fucking and sucking, but tom had primarily spent it with two other women. but, he explained, everyone filtered out at the end of the night, and he'd stuck around. he'd taken a shower with ellen -- both of them were covered in cum. and ellen had asked him if he had ever fucked a girl in the ass, and he said no, and she'd said, "want to try?"

"she was your first?" annie said.

"yeah," he said. "and i lasted like 40 minutes because i'd already cum three times."

"that's so hot," annie said.

"i knew you'd think so," he said.

[atomicengineerdetective]

No one talk to me I just came back from a family vacation to find out my favorite youtuber ever is leaving the platform.

I am devastated.

(I am actually happy for him, he has given me so much happiness for like 8 years. He deserves to let the channel go an enjoy his life. It just hurts, but I'll get over it

I'm so thankful for MatPat and Steph. I Hope every future endeavour or project they take on is successful and that over all they have a happy and fulfilling life with Ollie.💚❤️💛💙)

#I leave to a place with no cellphone signal and come back to this? #may be the lord was protecting me idk #What do I call this? a personal rant? Im not really ranting more like letting my feelings out #venting if you #never done this on my blog before but I feel like I have to #I've been a Fan of game theory since I was like 13 or 14 #He was like the first youtuber I ever suscribed to #that spoke english cause my first language is spanish lol #His videos and overall community meant a lot to me. I dont know how could I possibly express that #Of course Im going to still watch the videos after he is gone with the new hosts but still it wont be the same #Hope this doesnt sound too like sad. I dont mean to be negative. I am legitemetly so proud and happy for him #I mean He had one of the classiest goodbyes of YouTube at least I can say my favorite youtuber was never cancelled thats a win haha #But seriously he has achieved so much and has over all been such a positive influencer how could I not be proud to call myself a Fan #so truly I am not sad He ended on the highest note you could ask for. I cannot ask for anything more from him. #I am not sad However I did cry like a Baby during the Video. Man I just. Im tearing up even thinking about it #but anyway #You bet I am going to watch every single one of his videos the second they upload until march 9. #And then I am going to dedicate the day to the celebration he supposedly plans for then #I will probably vent some more in a bigger post then too. like I did in this tags lol. #Right now... I just cant. I need to process a little more heh #MatPat #Matthew Patrick #The game Theorists #game theory #goodbye matpat

[jinstronaut]

this is also why i stopped using my tracked tag for a while tbh

#and i might do it again bc its just #a reminder that no one rly cares abt what i do / who i am etc #which might sound over dramatic idk how else to describe it tho its just hollow #it feels very much like a Chore and a Task and if i dont reblog things fast enough from my tag #people get very angry and/or upset with me even tho theres just #so much content and i have 0 time so everything gets queued no matter what #like this whole experience feels like a chore lmao #and it never ever used to #but now theres so much animosity if i dont behave / interact with things Properly #or whatever the make believe rules are idk #this dash can just be so negative like have we all truly descended into madness during this hiatus #bc like i get it ive been up and down and all around too but ive never been straight up MEAN to anyone in this community #and i never want to either so this entire situation thats been bubbling for months just feels like shit #bc what the fuck changed and how do we get back to where we were #i never ever ever ever felt this way before like idk the middle of last year #but ever since like last fall its just been idk. Bad #once again im sorry if ive ever done anything to upset anyone but my silence / absence doesnt mean i dont care #ive just been Incredibly busy due to some real life changes that are out of my control #i might not have energy to answer everything but i do Read everything and it does make me smile #and i save messages that are kind in my heart so i can be reminded of the root of what this blog is supposed to be #a space for something im very passionate about and previously had nowhere else to express said passion #so like idk if we all like the same things why does this weird feeling of competition linger over us lmao #why do all ccs have to fight???? each other???? when we all love and do the same things???? #i have nothing against anyone personally but what i Do take issue with is the way that ive been doing this since 2021 and im fully just #ignored and shoved aside by so many people for reasons i fully dont know or understand #so yeah idk this is a novel i just woke up from a spontaneous nap bc im so exhausted i can only stay awake for 3 hours at a time #but yeah anyways idk ! #be nice its so easy ! #tbd

[talentforlying]

one of these days i'm going to write up all that i've changed from azzarello's bullshit era and the one (1) piece i've kept from milligan (and also changed) and the only thing currently stopping me is that it is going to be so, so inside-baseball incomprehensible. and i almost never want to go reading/screencapping azzarello and milligan to add references but i Want to add references.

canon is goop, just know that we continue to ride the bus down "hellblazer ended at #250 and looks like swiss cheese before that" street.

#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS. #i'm doing page maintenance before i fuck off to work rip it's got me thinking #anyway i think i said WAY back on this blog that a side goal of mine is to make hellblazer lore accessible to non-comic readers where i can #bc it's such a Heavy comic & i love it so much & i always felt Terrible recommending it to people only for them to be disgusted #and like. @ past me that particular goal is NOT as easy as you thought it would be lmao #esp because i have a habit of getting VERY detail-oriented when it comes to talking about hellblazer i think #but by GOD it's still a goal. i can put in some motherfucking references here and there when i talk about The Lore #like. azzarello's writing style never translates well for me in synopsis bc he Loves to put the audience in the outside perspective #where we are bystanders/with the rest of the bystanders to constantine's actions and not to his motivations/inner monologue #and i HATE that. hellblazer has ALWAYS been about what this guy has going on underneath the masked exterior #all the things you can't say out loud when you're queer and working class trying to survive in 70s-80s-90s england #but that you FEEL with your WHOLE fucking chest. how that feeling drives you to enjoy little rebellions wherever you can get them #(also azzarello just fucking Sucks LMAO but i'm talking style rn) #so i end up relying on frusin's art to tell the story a little more bc i think he understands the Theatre of constantine's public persona #and when that theatre is Absent then it's really REALLY noticeable. so frusin keeps me in it most of the time #and if i'm digging into frusin art then i'm Going to want to compare it to older panels bc i like body language consistency #milligan on the other hand has NOTHING to save his sorry ass bc his writing is drop-jaw fucking terrible AND the artist seems to like it #but the loss of john's thumb being tied to his mental health (ignoring the bullshit with shade) has always felt. important to me somehow id #anyway MUCH thinking about my favorite loser on this about-to-be-annoying day shdjksd he has been done so dirty #hellblazer brain go brrrr

[icewindandboringhorror]

I’m always paranoid of my tumblr being deleted or malfunctioning or something like that someday, so here’s other places to find me/follow me, just in case lol

~ instagram - https://www.instagram.com/lucalicatte/

~ main youtube - https://www.youtube.com/c/LucaLiCatte

~ games/sims youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@cloudycatte

~ facebook page (I rarely use this because I hate facebook but.. it at least allows text posts better than instagram does, so idk maybe I’d use it more if tumblr went away? lol) - https://www.facebook.com/cloudycatteart/

~ Other Links (stuff I don’t use often/isn’t Main enough to list here, like twitter, neopets, other tumblr sideblogs, youtube channels, etc.) are here - http://icewindandboringhorror.tumblr.com/otherlinks )

#An updated version of this since some of the links on the old one are no longer the same lol #I might make a website website one day (not with a custom domain since I'm not paying for that/dont have the money lol #but like a 'my name.weebly.com type thing lol) but I haven't had the time recently. If I ever get around to it I'll update the post and #reblog that version. ANYWAY.. I just like to have one of these written out to reblog every once in a while. During the once ever few months #when poeple are like 'tumblr is failing again! it wont survive!' which has happened like 80 times but I'm still always like :0c what if! #also love the ms paint art done with a mouse ghhj #ANYWAY.. also if you want to see the stinky game I made that's not actually related to my own worldbuilding really (why I have never #posted anything about it publilcy because it's like.. how do I talk about it lol) I have my itch.io linked in the 'other links' page #as well as my General Projects blog. which talks about all the ongoing and upcoming projects I want to do that are #actually set in my world and can give you previews of some of the things I'm working on. Currently resuming my Game after abandoning it #basically for the entire pandemic and a little before that - as mentioned before - so that's OUgh.. in terms of A Lot Of Work #Especially since while kind of 'revamping and updating' I want to add a few features which are mostly easy but every once in a while #I don't understand something and it's like....... hGGhh...... Ironically despite Blogging I just hate talking to people in public open foru #.. I love privacy and security lol.. and I always feel that ONE day I am going to have a question that has not already been asked on a foru #somewhere and I am going to have to post myself and.. no.. I shan't even imagine it.. It's not even really social anxiety it's just like.. #efficiency.. instead of wating like days to get an accurate response and resolve the problem with the general public I would rather just ha #e a one time 30min conversation with an expert and resolve it quickly. PLUS then I also only interact with One stranger instead of Many Of #Them lol.. any 6+ yrs of experience Ren'py experts hmu so I can pay you like $50 to have a single 45min conversation #with me over an insanely simple question and then never talk to you again until a year later when I have a second question. hhjb #ANYWAY.. I still really don't like instagram or it's layout and I never understood how it works like.. if I should be tagging photos or wha #or how you really use it and I just... euGH... stimky.. but it is one of the most popular so I feel obligated to link it. I wish facebook w #sn't such a nasty poo poo because I do actually like the variety of posts you can make and how Pages on facebook operate. In the scense of #it being similar to tumblr that you can make a VARIETy of styles of post. not just Only Post Photos or Only Short Text or Only Video which #is still like.. how the funk does sutff like that even get popular lol.. the Limited nature.. hewwo.. but alas.. and NO way I'm touching #fucking Threads please do not make an account on there and don't let your friends do it and don't let that shit catch on lol. #BUT YEahg... links...... just in case.. i hope tumblr stays aroundin it's current format forever though lol.. #I'm pretty sure even facebook doesn't have audio posts. or tags the way this does. or CHRONOLOGICAL FEED. custom html for pages.. aaaaa

[calamitydaze]

long tag ramble below u have been warned

#ok i feel like i should say Something before i start being active again #but i dont want it to be a Statement which is why i’m putting it in the tags #(also bc i procrastinated doing this for weeks so i know this is a very stale topic by now #but i also haven’t been on tumblr literally at all so this is 100% my organic authentic opinion lmao) #so read if you gaf and ignore if you don’t #anyway: george def could’ve done more to ensure she was comfortable #and as someone who has also gotten in over my head with older men and regretted it #her hurt is valid and i’m deeply sorry she feels the way she does about that night #but with that said i see no reason to believe george Should have known how she really felt #or that he deliberately took advantage of either her youth/inexperience or her discomfort #and that’s the most important thing for me— he fucked up and misread a situation but that doesn’t make him an evil person #and i hope they can both move on and grow and heal #as for my future in the fandom: i honestly dunno how active i’ll be going forward #i was already becoming pretty disconnected so this might’ve just sped up the process? i’m tired of being put through the wringer #but i also don’t really have a fandom to replace this so i might just continue casually participating in the way i have been #either way rest assured i will never become a rabid anti. that shits embarrassing #i got HORRIBLE drolo rsd the other day when tommy’s mom needed clout and vagued him so like if nothing else. droloisms are forever #also as a last thing— this feels kinda silly and self centered to say but i will anyway #sorry for not opening up my blog as a forum for discussion again the way i did with the drituation #i know i helped a lot of people sort out their feelings and that was (and is) really really important to me #but it also tanked my mental health (mostly as a result of the fallout and not the act itself but still) #plus my life irl was pretty stressful at the time when everything was first going down #so i just didn’t feel up to putting myself through that again #but i’m sorry if anyone wanted to discuss w me but wasn’t able to #anyway. i think that’s all i have to say! #i don’t want to turn this into a capital D discussion but as always my askbox and dms are open #love you all tons! i hope you’re having a good day 🫂🫶 #bella talks

[foxgloveinspace]

oh my god you gave permission to send vids and i lasted all of 30 minutes before needing to send something 😂

BUT!!!

iv crying 🥺🥺🥺 the love for iii these last few shows has melted my heart and clearly the bands too

https://x.com/vesseltoken/status/1734391886901616999?s=46

i cannot suffer alone with this one i’m so sorry

Well, as I watch this and suffer. here, sleep token official instagrams account second to last pic…. Our boy AdamRosssi knows what we want, haha.

🥺🥺🥺

Oh no……

#just. one photo of vessels hand close up hahahaha. #hihi!!! #friend Exie!! #(your new tag❤️) #welp. you’ve fucked me up good is what you’ve done here. #(also I do not care how many asks you send me in a day ok. I mean I do think there is a limit #so like. if you hit that that might be uhhh. something haha. gosh I’ve never hit post limit before?? wow) #(oh like. tumblr has a limit on how much you can post in a day and I think there’s a limit on asks too. if you didn’t know #idk how long you’ve been on tumblr now that I think about it… I’m assuming a while cause I figure you used to be a trc blog but I am unsure #hahaha. I have a feeling we where/are in different sides of the trc fandom tho🤣🤣. if you didn’t know I uhhh… used to write Ronan x Gansey #fics😅😂. I have some ideas for future ones too maybe but we’ll see.) #so you def know about post limit and I just… over explained.. but now I can’t delete the tags cause they lead up to trc talk #I’m so glad the guys know we care about them. idk I’m not very emotional #these tags.. dang. the adhd fingers strike again. *blows off my fingers like they are old timey smoking guns*

[dangerous-advantage]

finally caved and just bought all of the heaven official's blessing books. look out for the myriad of long-ass analysis posts that are sure to follow

#like i mean i could have done it before #(make analysis posts) #and i DID start on a couple about the thematic implications of their spiritual devices (everyone talks about e'ming but ruoye is SO #FUCKING INTERESTING OKAY huge w for mxtx on that one) #but i never ended up posting them bc like. i feel like i need to read the official translation too in order to pick up on all the #extra details? #so much (can) get lost in translation ESP if the author doesn't play a part in said translation bc like. things like foreshadowing? and eve #just the subjective nature OF art and creation and word play and etc etc #i know for my own writing if somebody was translating as i was putting it out the things being translated might miss or gloss over #specific details that wouldn't be noticeable until the second read #and mxtx's stuff is like that too! so i've been holding back on just the off-chance that there are certain details i would end up missing #just bc of the nature of the unofficial translations :P #anyway yeah. #oh yes also i SWEAR i have been and am working on writing something!!! i cannot say when/if it will come out or if it will be good #but i have not forgotten the requests and treasure them all deeply and etc etc #thanks for reading this long-ass caveat on a lowkey shitpost i will now obligatorily tag for the blog organization #tgcf #tian guan ci fu #heaven official's blessing #hob #literary analysis #literary criticism #media analysis #media criticism #(it's so much funner than you might think it is i promise i promise i promise)

[mildcicada]

🎀🔪🌟💗🎶🦢🎤🎭

#danganronpa #dr #sayaka maizono #sooo real #i have been wanting to draw more stuff tha tis not judt fanart. but i have never really done that before. so instead of drawing anything #ive been mostly sitting around pondering what i enjoy making and what emotions /designs/ideas I'd like to enjoy exploring #not a lot pf creating going on eith me just a lot of thinking about creating instead #but here is. miss sayaka of course #sayaka with her stab wound but not like dead just like eith it>>>> #its like symbolism for how she feels or something probably #anyway .....have such the urge to draw but nothing i draw really....quenches it ????? i need to create something but i don't know what #but the urge to create won't go away unless i create only this very specific thing (i do not know what this very specific thing is) #want to reorganize my blog too. #like an absolute necessity in my kind right noe to go back and reorganize how i tag things. but that is literally ridiculous #like not possible with the amount of posts there are. but i literally need to or my brain will keep bothering me about it ..😑😑 ..... #where's that post that's like. get this. its a cutesy anime girl. but she's so fucked up and covered in blood #SOOO SAYAKA #sayaka emojis real

[roguestorm]

the bvs bruce/diana scene feels so much like a bruce/selina scene and i think that that's intentional, i think "i've know a few women like you" is a nod at that (or at bruce/talia, given the sword of alexander conversation), and i think that the way their relationship progresses from there - the way that diana embodies openness and hope and goodness - is a lot harder for bruce to deal with than a thief or assassin or someone with a hidden agenda. diana can play that part, but that's not who she is, and i think that's a revelation for him.

#m.txt #once a year or so i have to open up my head and let the wonderbat feelings out or else they drive me insane #wonderbat #bruce wayne #diana of themyscira #batfam blogging #like i love bruce/selina and bruce/talia and i don't think they're worse than bruce/diana #(in most circumstances and most adaptations i would argue that they're better) #but SPECIFICALLY with bvs bruce who is so so stuck in this world of batman who has gotten too old to die young #he's like. 'oh this dance. i know this dance. i've done this before' #and he really genuinely honestly never has met anyone like her before #and i do think it's a revelation #dceu #bvs

[heartshapedcaskett]

I just got off the phone with the realtor. A very brief call. I was suppose to tell him I wanted to put my deposit down today. But I got tongue tied and only secured the tour and application. I think I will do better in person with my roommate because we will be able to articulate together our negotiations and wants regarding this home.

#I have intense phone anxiety which is weird I don’t know why I do better in person with people #like I almost had a panic attack 20 minutes ago when I called I couldn’t physically breathe at all #sorry for blogging about this I’m just so anxious #I’ve never moved out before but my cousin has so I’ve been really looking to her as a guide #I’ve had a lot of career experiences and life events but one thing I’ve never done is move out and I feel so immature #rambling

[emerynn-art]

a couple of totally normally teenage girls <3

#ive never actually posted art of my own characters before so idk how to...tag it... #ocs #my ocs #??? ig #things im doing instead of revising for exams #honestly i just feel like i need to have a better posting schedule on this account rather than posting like. 2 things per year #and i havent done any fanart recently so #forcing myself to post art of my own characters......scary times #also if you saw me post on the wrong blog again NO YOU DIDNT #see i wouldnt have these problems if i actually used this blog

[kissyboystyles]

...

#don't mind me using this old blog to just speak for a minute #personal post time!! #i've started having anxiety attacks at work #and they're kinda brutal and i can feel my threshold getting lower and lower #because i never REALLY fix the problem that is causing them #i just have enough catharsis that gets my brain back on track for a little and then it builds up again #and then i crash again and again and again for like three hours straight #i am thinking about work tomorrow and i'm just already hoping #i don't know i hope i wake up with SOMETHING worthy of calling out sick or like. being able to say uncle #every day at work is torture not because of any other reason but i CAN'T focus because i'm overwhelmed #and i'm overwhelmed bc i feel like my tasks are just NOT being done fast enough (bc i can't focus) #and to know i can't stay late because i have to get myself fed and then start on my other job so i can get in bed #and then try to have some time to myself before i have to start all over again #and even on a good day i only get 4 hours of sleep so what's the point #i don't know what to do because i'm too Beaten Down to even have the energy to think or make a decision #i feel like i don't have the Time to think #i have to be Focused On Something at all times because there's always something i could be doing #and if i spend time to do anything (me time at the end of the day) that's just wasting time i need to sleep to be alert to do more work #... so yeah i'm starting to have anxiety attacks or stress something idk but i'm not doing Great #del

[iwantyoursexmp3]

beau is such a trailblazer of an oc cause he's the first dallonwrites protagonist to have a good relationship with his family

#LMAOOOO LIKE #i know they're the type of family who would have a group chat together and that concept is so wildly foreign to me #my relationship w my family is actually fine dw it's just like all recovering from things. we make do #felix and dorothy were definitely like the product of me fully realising i had a fucked up childhood and not being able to get therapy #i think my whole pov on it is changing now though which is interesting #like i havent outgrown RR but i would never write the things i decided for that story if i came up with it now #but 20 year old me wanted to write about those things for a reason so it's almost become a time capsule #i actually have sooo many thoughts of this because my brain is so interesting to me lately #recently more often than not i hate reading characters with fucked up childhoods from other writers #idk why but i'm just like. i want the kids left alone for the most part! #some more than others and its like i dont know what the reasoning is because its not like i can know where their inspo is coming from #(that's another thing i want to write about one day because i do think some people esp newer writers like #don't fully know how to write an interesting backstory yet or aren't confident in it so they lean on #very traumatic childhood things like abuse neglect addiction etc. #and without saying what I Went Through it's very interesting when you see things you went through IRL #that for others are just like interesting character development ideas #NOT TO MAKE ANYONE FEEL BAD! because i mean i do and have done it before with things irrelevant to me #it's just something i've noticed and like. i think easy to sensationalise when you're a newer writer #even things you HAVE gone through) #not me testing the waters for essays in the side blog tags again. i need to actually write something for my silly little substack #actually similarly to this i rly want to write abt how i can't get with the whole my old writing is so bad and cringe!!! anymore #bc now i know younger me was in such a scary place and needed those cringey stores #but i need to do it in a specific way bc i dont think that line of thinking is problematic. i just cant do it

[shotmrmiller]

A familiar face pays you a visit a few days after you wake up next to a living Simon Riley.

"Captain MacTavish. You are much younger now than when I last saw you."

His crystal blue eyes widen when he realizes what you've said.

"Captain? That's what I am in yer time?" he asks, his disbelief apparent. "Did I also have a wife?"

Before you can answer him, Simon Ghost storms into the room and locks eyes with MacTavish, whose spine has gone stiff, expecting a reprimand.

"Get out, Sergeant. You're not to be in here again, understood?" his tone is austere.

"Aye, sir." MacTavish mouths an apology your way, and swiftly walks out the door, leaving you alone with the man who wears the face of your husband.

"You," he pivots on his heels to look at you, his eyes dark, swirling with fury, "are to talk to no one here. As far as I'm concerned, you're an enemy. Why the Captain hasn't locked you up in a cage is beyond me."

As you feel that unmistakable feeling of your throat tightening, your eyes well up with tears, causing your vision to blur. Your Simon would never look at you like that— never speak to you like this.

Understanding that this isn't a discussion, you turn away, clenching your jaw to suppress the overwhelming urge to sob. There is a sharp ache in your chest, a poignant sting that relentlessly pierces your heart.

But a harsh grip on your chin jerks your attention back to Ghost so abruptly your neck pops, and growls, "Don't turn your back to me, bint. I'm not done talkin'."

Meeting his gaze, your eyes betray you as tears overflow, tracing a path of glistening sorrow down your face.

"Now I see why you haven't married in this life," you choke out. "You're a bitter, foul shell of a man with no sympathy."

Angrily wiping your cheeks and grabbing at his thick wrist, you lurch it away from you.

You grab at the dog tags that have been hidden under your shirt. "I have been nothing but miserable since I met you. I loved my husband with everything I had and so painfully wished I had been buried with him."

A bitter laugh escapes your lips, and you remark, "You may share his body, but you are nothing like him."

"I don't know how anyone could ever grow to love you."

The room is quiet, except for your shaky breathing and occasional sniffle. Ghost remains stock-still in front of you, unblinking. He slowly rises to full height and silently walks out of the room.

You lift the dog tags to press a kiss onto them with a trembling hand, and your thumb runs over the engraved 'Simon "Ghost" Riley' on it.

What have you done?

it's gotta get worse before it gets better :( sorry!

@fruitymoonbeams-blog

part 1 part 3

#call of duty #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #simon riley #multiverse cod