#had a trip to the emergency vet today but everyone is fine now

[wolfchanw]

Looking like cats! Three weeks old tomorrow!

#pets #veterinary #foster kittens #kittens #frogs and bunny #bottle babies #had a trip to the emergency vet today but everyone is fine now

[yesthefandomfreakblr]

G U Y S ~m~ f e e l i n g s

big long post WOOOOOOOOOOOO

so uhh i did a lot of daydreaming today during school as one does when they don't care and are running on -12 hours of sleep and one cup of chocolate milk in lucky charms. I did a lot of thining about this whole 'Ripred pretends to be a service animal AU I came up with andddd ngl i'm liking this a lot.

- Cormaci and Ripred are dedicated pen-pals via Gregor and Ripred confides that he's always wanted to see the museums in New York. they talk about how fun it would be and Cormaci rather enjoys hearing from the snarky, witty, and kind of sweet stranger.

-One day gregor hands him Cormaci's note and Ripred sends gregor with his reply after their echolocation lesson. "Dearly detestable, (a customary greeting for the two) I have a large service animal vest and shades if you want to use them. meet me at midnight and we'll make a plan. XOXO- Cormaci"

-Ripred is over the frikken moon you have no idea. they make a plan, he tries on the vest, they meet in the morning to go to the museum.... And Ripred can't. It's just too bright and too loud and too many people so close to him. everyone stares and many try to pet him. Ripred knows he can't attack people or talk, so he just pulls Cormaci back to central park and has a full blown panic attack five blocks before they make it. they make it to an alleyway and he just shakes and gasps for air. sensory overlaods, especially when you've never had one, are no frikken joke.

-He just sulks back in the quiet, normal smelling, tourist free underland that doesn't burn his eyes. a few days go by and Cormaci proposes a picnic in central park. way less crowded, and with his vest people are warned not to pet him anyway. Ripred gives it another go.

-it doesn't suck. it actually goes very very well. he has the time of his life seeing the ducks and the horse carriages and sunbathing. they do this three times a week and gradually he goes to stores with her and they run small errands. after about two months She can take him anywhere and he won't get overwhelmed. of course, Cormaci hardly takes him into places or restaurants because he's not a real service animal. while waiting to cross the street, Gregor warns him to watch his tail. "what you think I'm just gonna fling it out and hit someone??" he flings his tail out for emphasis and hits someone. -rager speed activate- he catches them and apologises profusely. the 5 foot 2 ich overlander cracks up and compliments him on his reflexes. She hangs out with them the rest of the day and pays for their ice cream. He actually gets her number and they part ways. I mean she's weirdly chill but some people are. at least she didn't sue or panic.

-he uses the library computers to watch training videos and look up the criteria for service animals. He, Cormaci, And gregor's family all help expose him to all of the scenarios and help get him ready. He spends a lot of time with Lizzie. with her smelling salts, puzzles, and emergency phone in his pockets, Lizzie goes places with just him. they go to the museums and nerd out together.

They meet with the registration managers, and after the worst day of Ripred's life, (vet checks and behavioral/training testing. letting people grab, pinch, pull, poke, and prod him places he'd rather them not.) He get's officially registered as Lizzie's service animal.

-Ripred is ecstatic to roam the overland as he pleases and be able to help Lizzie. but he soon realizes she's not the only one who needs his help. Ripred builds a trustworthy council for the gnawers with two head leaders to rule in his stead. and helps Luxa build a better council so that she can visit a few days a week. this takes like a month.

Gregor's dad needs to go back to work, but is still very weak. Ripred, the two days a week he lectures, goes with him and carries his papers, medicine, and anything else on his vest and lets Mr. Campbelle lean on him during lectures. it's very interesting to him and excruciating not to chime in. So during breaks they geek out on theories about anything. Ripred helps him overcome his PTSD from his time in the rat lands. Texting his new distant friend Ripred finds out that Ally, the girl he one-hit K.O'd, has horses and actually does equine therapy. she helps Gregor's family for free. Ripred gets kicked by a horse.

Gregor needs help catching up with school, so he does that when they get home. and after the war of time, Gregor just needs him a lot. Ripred spends two or three nights a week with the boy, and they go on a lot of walks. They either walk for hours in silence or Gregor just breaks and gushes like a waterfall. He doesn't want to trouble anyone with everything on his mind but Ripred is safe. he understands. Gregor talks to him and Ripred listens. occasionally offering bits of valuable advice.

three days a week he goes to school with Lizzie, and finds that her teacher is very good at chess. they get along just fine and he talks to her and even helps with her lesson plans, given this is her first year. at first she tries to call Lizzie's emergency contact. but it's him. He lounges around and is the gordon Ramsey of education. He coaches Lizzie through panic attacks and she is never once bullied when he's around. she learns things from him and makes a couple more friends on the chess team. He'll sweep the floor with any one of them. He mostly reads during class but occasionally, during tests, (when Lizzie is most comfortable,) he'll react to the high stress of another student and put his head in their lap. (test anxiety is something else) and because they're elementary school kids, they make a cult for the rat. they call him Mr. Rat and leave offerings like shiny trinkets or snacks. he privately tutors the class for an hour after school because of this (they can leave if they want but he's smart and funny) and they all learn morse code/ ace their tests. going with Lizzie to P.E is his favorite. everyone else hates it. they fear him. He's no longer allowed to play dodgeball.

Grace is home but can barely walk. on good days her lungs will suddenly give out and it's extremely dangerous. with no one else able to run errands, and desperate to get out of the apartment, she begrudgingly and sorrowfully asks for his assistance. she wishes she could cut ties with the underland for good, but her family desperately needs him. the 'service animal' thing was just so he could go to the museum, but now he's a part of their lives. She leans on him in the grocery store and he sniffs out the best products as well as pushes the cart. if she goes down he has her inhaler and knows what to do. and aside from that, he makes great company. he's funny and smart. and she can tell him things she can't tell her family. about her chronic anxiety, her nightmares, her depression, her constant fear for her children and fear they don't love her anymore for trying to protect them and fear she didn't do enough and fear it will all happen again but this time someone won't come back... He understands what it's like to lose everyone. He understands not telling people things. He lets her talk. and only offers what she needs.

He still hangs out with Cormaci and they go on little trips together, but He's very busy taking care of his family. He never anticipated it to go this far or be this much work, sleeping in the underland once or twice a week, eating most meals there. But Ripred had decided to help Lizzie, a little girl that was very much like his own deceased pup. and in that, got closer and closer to Gregor, who was like a son to him long before he knew of Cormaci. In caring for and, in a way, adopting these pups, he'd adopted their parents and become a cornerstone in their daily life.

about Ripred and Ally, yeah they still hang out as often as possible she lives a couple hours out in florida but stays at her friends a couple days a week in NYC. it's kind of strange to him, but he finds it helpful that she would do anything for him. he can call her anytime for anything and she'll drive out or stay up late and talk, or uber eats him a snack. he ends up telling her absolutely everything. she's a good listener. her horse hates him. she gives Gregor free riding lessons and makes the BEST ribs.she's cool about the underland thing and just lets him talk. which he's not used to. within a few months, she knows more about him than Lizzie or Luxa. she sees him ugly and sees him nice and doesn't hate him for either. yeah she has a big crazy personality but if he accepts her, she'll return the favor tenfold. it takes a while but he gets used to having someone love him like a dog. she's kind of a dog. She knows what he's done, good and bad. and she's cool with it. but if he ever ever lies to her. she will never trust him again. he knows she's not lying.

Ripred supervises Gregor and Luxa's first date getting pizza and starbucks and going to a movie. He nips at someone's ankles for attempting to interfere.

Lizzie's panic attacks become more rare. to the point she doesn't need Ripred at school. Gregor's father no longer needs to lean on him, and can carry his own things. Grace returns to work and only needs her inhaler maybe once a week. Gregor is healing to the point he doesn't sneak out of his room and curl up with Ripred at night.

But none of them, not even Grace, want hm to leave. He experiences all of the Holidays with them during their first year together and he loves them all. food. Luxa joins to along with Cormaci of course. on Halloween he and Lizzie go as little red riding hood and the big bad wolf. gregor and luxa dress as bats. Gregor all black and Luxa a stunning gold. Ripred fights airport security. he tells his overlander friend, Ally, all about it. she thinks he's a bad-A.

As he is needed less and less Ripred goes back to the underland and helps Keep the peace. he was doing ok sending messages from the overland, but his presence is certainly needed more than twice a week. especially Luxa. she needs time alone to speak with a father figure, especially with Vikus's health fading. He helps relieve the pressure and helps her relax. She becomes like a daughter to him, Aurora as well. RIpred comes at a moments notice if any human male shows interest in his baby girl. He even brings Ally down and she honestly would kill to ride a bat. she gets to ride a bat. with everyone constantly dumping their problems on him and them having so many, Ally becomes vital to his mental health. to just have someone to relax with, to talk to to get Denny's at 2:00 AM with.

the years are long and full of hardships, love, and light. Gregor's family becomes more financially sound, they can comfortably afford to feed Ripred now, and go on annual trips. Luxa and Howard go to Hawaii. Vikus passes away two years after the COC, and Gregor's grandmother shortly after. Gregor's family decides to stay in new york. Ripred, Luxa, and Howard go to Virginia for a month with gregor's family in the summer and have the time of their lives. He brings Ally everywhere he can she makes him food, they joke together, sometimes stay at each others places, have a pick up lines war, and she's actually a valuable ally in meetings for writing things down and even contributing. they know everything about eachother. He often thinks to himself that she's every bit as sassy and kind as his mate, and if she were a gnawer, he wouldn't hesitate. but she's human.

and after four more years, at the age of nineteen, Gregor and Luxa are married. though they are no longer bonds, (the council decided you can only have one bond as not to split loyalties) Ripred walks Luxa down the aisle and takes his place beside gregor. where Ares would have stood. Gregor's mother is proud to call Luxa her daughter. Ally brings Luxa a pet cat, as is viking tradition for newlyweds to have one in their home. Ally's weird. but they like her.

Gregor's family half lives down there now and the gnawers and human tensions are almost nonexistent after so many years.

Ripred is godfather to all eight of Gregor and Luxa's children. and though he's starting to ache in the leg he broke in COC, his age starting to climb, it's not too much for him to play with his godpups or wrestle with Gregor. he'd be like mid 50's as human. (another reason he could never be with Ally, She's 25.) He attends Lizzie's wedding in the underland to hazard when she turns twenty. after all that time, he's nearly thirty, and plays a little less rough. he has another decade or two in him and is happy to live it. life has been hell to him... but now he's found heaven. he keeps his tears to himself watching his massive family, not of blood, but of choice, grow in a place that is not torn by war. a place where the walls are made of stone and a place where the sun shines. He doesn't mind people touching or hugging him anymore and you see his real smile a lot more often. but he's still too mean to die. snarky and sassy as ever. but a lot happier. in a bittersweet kind of way. he will never forget his wife or his pups, but he knows she'd be happy for him. and it doesn't hurt to think of them.

He may have been the registered service animal, but they were all helping him right back.

#the underland chronicles #ripred #gregor the overlander #ripred the rat #ripred the gnawer #ares the flier

[supposed2bfunny]

From one cat person to another, may I request some headcanons about Noodle with cats? Possibly even the other band members, but mainly Noods because she's the band's cat lover. Also, what do the gang think of Katsu?

Ooh yeah, I just had a wonderful cuddle sesh with my kitty today so totally! 

-Noodle loved animals well before she got Katsu, but she never saw herself as being a cat person. She had a pet monkey as a kid for crying out loud, she thought cats were too “basic” a pet!

-Everything changed when she actually went back to Japan. The host family she stayed with between Phase 1 and 2 (I HC that she stayed with a host family rather than a hotel, eager for human connection) had a few cats, and as she stumbled around the shock of recovering her identity, the trauma that came with it, she would lie on her tiny bed, petting the cats, listening to their purring, dissociating and trying to ground herself in the tactile sensation of their fur, their ears, their knowledgable eyes.

-She probably would have asked Russel to get her some cats during the recording of Demon Days but she was so busy working to record the album there was no time.

-THE CAT MASK IN PHASE 3 PEOPLE. SHE HAS BY NOW EMBRACED HER IDENTITY AS A CAT LADY. 

-Phase 4-Noodle gets Katsu. She adopts her (him? idk??) from a kill shelter. Katsu was sky and cowered away from everyone in the shelter, but Noodle claimed that she could see the life in its eyes, the desperation to trust. Noodle identified with that look.

-She fuckin’ takes Katsu out for walks, she has a little cat harness.

-Katsu enjoys eating grass, then throwing up the grass later in Murdoc’s shoes.

-She (I think it’s a girl cat) has a catnip-stuffed Gorilla plushie.

-Noodle and Ace spend entire afternoons getting wine cooler drunk and crafting elaborate backdrops and having photoshoots for poor Katsu with various outfits they buy. Do it for the ‘gram!

-Despite this torture, Katsu sleeps curled up by Noodle’s head, happiest when she can touch her hair.

-She ADORES Russel and makes biscuits on his belly/thighs when he holds her on his lap.

-She’ll accept pets from 2D, but she’s a little skittish around him.

-Katsu hisses at Murdoc, but also enjoys sleeping on his clothes, laptop, or whatever paper he’s currently reading. He’s generally too scared to nudge her off whatever she’s currently resting on, and will admit defeat.

-These days, you wanna buy anything for Noodle? Make it cat-themed.

-Yes, she samples cat treats with Katsu to make sure they’re good. 

-She has dropped several grand on state-of-the-art litter boxes cuz she hates changing them.

-Yes she loves to wear headbands with cat ears. She’s a cute cat girl ok! 

-She has a tattoo for Katsu. “Well of course I do! I saved her life and she saved mine

-There have been several emergency trips to the vet because Katsu ate cigarette butts left out by the boys. She’s been fine every time, but Noodle has still done a lot of cursing.

-Yes Noodle has made several videos of Katsu stepping on a keyboard key and holding it down and then Noodle jams out to guitar. They’re not as funny as Noodle thinks they are, but her followers on social media don’t have the heart to tell her cuz she looks so happy :’)

(Fun fact I learned while typing this: Did you know former President Herbert Hoover had a cat companion who he called Mr. Cat? Remarkable!)

#anon asks #gorillaz asks for beck #noodle headcanons #I love cats so much holy fuck

[mycatisthecutest]

Christmas with Grudders

Hey :) Merry Christmas everyone!!!!! I read my first Grudders fic a few days ago and I instantly fell in love with them. So to celebrate Christmas I wrote this Grudders Christmas special. I hope you like it ❤❤❤

It was Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve once was one of Dudley's favorite days of the year. He loved getting hundreds of presents and being even more spoiled than usual. It didn't mean that much to him anymore. It just was that he had nowhere to go. No one to be with. And Christmas was for families. That's why he always gave his employees the day off. He didn't mind working, he liked being alone with all the animals. Since he was vet he couldn't just abandon the place. Sure, his colleague could work, but she had a husband and kids. He had neither.

At first Sue didn't want to leave him all alone every holiday but he didn't let her work and she soon realized that he couldn't stand being at home alone. He rather worked. That's when it became tradition that he would eat Sunday brunch with her family. If there wasn't any emergency.

Dudley sighed. There wasn't much to do for him today. He had one cat with a week old kittens and a dog who had a hip surgery a few days ago. The cat didn't like people and the dog slept most of the time. Dudley was glad that he hadn't many patients since it did mean that everyone else was healthy. But he wouldn't mind having more to do. Otherwise his mind started to wander. Something he didn't like. On most days he could just pretend that everything was fine. But this was Christmas. He wondered how his parents were doing. He hadn't seen them in years. Not since he told them he was gay. That he wouldn't live the life they wanted him to. Their relationship was already strained since he started studying as a vet. They never liked any sort of animals besides the ones you could buy from the butcher. But aunt Marge always spoke highly of her vet and assured that he didn't earn that bad so they put up with it. What they couldn't put up with was him being gay. It was a disaster when he came out to them. He didn't intend to since he knew how they would react. It just so happened that one of the neighbours saw him on a date with his then boyfriend. It didn't help his case that his ex was black either. His parents didn't care that Tyler made him happy. Or that he was very intelligent and got a scholarship for his semester in England. Or that his parents were rich and successful in America

They only cares that Dudley was seen who wasn't normal in there eyes - that Dudley acted unnormal- and that the neighbours were gossiping. He had an awful fight with his parents and moved out. Since that day he hadn't seen them again. He left Mrs Figg his new address and asked her if she'd call or write him if something was with his parents though. They were his parents after all. Even when they didn't act like it. This was almost ten years ago. He didn't even know if Mrs Figg was still alive. He guessed his parents were, otherwise he'd surely get a notification from some lawyer or something like that.

That's why he was alone at Christmas. Tyler and he broke up a few months after that and all his other relationships didn't last that long. Until a few weeks ago he had his dog though, but she was already old when he got her and he had to say good bye. He still remembered the day he got her. It was his first own house with garden and he was finally allowed to have a pet. So after he settled in his first trip was to the shelter. He wanted a dog to accompany him when he went jogging or hiking - something he started doing when he realized that he did not want to look like a whale- but then he met her. Medusa. Why someone would call such a cute, innocent looking dog Medusa was still a mystery to him. But he fell in love with her the moment he saw her. She was already 9 when he got her, but that didn't matter. They had some wonderful years together. He never loved anyone as much as he loved her. When she died he was heartbroken. He was kind of glad that she died peacefully in her sleep. One day they went to bed and the next she didn't wake up when it was time for their morning walk. But it still hurt. She was his family. And now she was gone. The first few days he was a wreck. He knew it was coming and being a vet he had seen many things, had to put many pets down. It didn't help though. It was getting better every day, but there were still some days when he would sit alone on his sofa and cry. He wasn't ready for a new pet, a new family. Although he wished he was.

It was already late afternoon and nothing had happened so far. But then the doorbell rang. It was a guy around his age with a dog.

"Hello, I'm sorry to disturb but he won't use his paw. He has something but I don't know what. Please help him." "Of course I will. I'm Dudley Evans and you're?" Since his estrangement with his parents, Dudley got by his mother's maiden name. "I'm Greg Goyle and this is Tarzan." "Well, nice to meet you Tarzan. What happened?" "We we're walking outside and he got down to the river, he was chasing a goose. And when he finally got back he only walked on three legs. He didn't want to use his forth and tried to bite me when I wanted to take a look. He normally never bites." Greg told him, his concern plainly in his voice. Greg looked hot, Dudley noticed. Broad, strong, muscular. He smiled. "Well, let's take a closer look. I'm sure Tarzan is perfectly fine soon." With that he opened the door to his ambulance room and let Greg and his perfectly hot butt in. Not that Dudley would've looked. Well, not on purpose.

Tarzan's injury was quickly discovered. He had a very small piece of wood stuck between his toes. With Greg as his assistant, Dudley had nursed Tarzan back to health in no time.

"You were very brave Tarzan. I know now why you were called like that." Greg laughed. Everyone teased him about having a Chihuahua called Tarzan. "Well, my daughters named him. They also choose him I wanted a golden retriever or something like that. But they insisted on Tarzan and now I don't know how I could ever want another dog." Dudley was downcast. He tried to cover it with a smile. "So then off you go. I'm sure your daughters are happy with having a healthy Tarzan back."

"I'm sure they are. But they're celebrating this Christmas with their mother and her family."

Greg wasn't sure if Dudley really was sad about his possible marriage but he didn't imagine his relief. He was relieved himself. He really liked Dudley and he hadn't been sure if he'd swing this way.

"So, ummm, Tarzan and I don't really have somewhere to be. Would you mind if we'd stay a bit?" Dudley beamed. "Of course you can stay. I'd love to. I just live directly next to here and if you'd like I can get us some biscuits and I've also got some for Tarzan." "Sounds perfect."

"Good morning love" Greg purred and kissed Dudley softly. Dudley's heart flutters. There was nothing he loved more than waking up in the arms of his husband. It had been now exactly 5 years since Greg came into his life and Dudley couldn't have been more lucky. Greg made him happy, made him complete. They were a complete family now, Greg's daughters were living with them.

It had been a bit of a nasty shock when he found out that Greg was a wizard just like his cousin. But Dudley wasn't that ignorant scared boy anymore so he got used to it very quickly. He even made up with Harry. They were friends now and Harry and his husband Draco were coming with their children Teddy, Scorpius, James and Lily. Tomorrow they would join the Weasley family. Dudley smiled to himself. He clearly remembered the first time he met the Weasleys. The were quite a bit and at first he felt uncomfortable, but Arthur had been nice and polite, asking him about all the muggle stuff.

All in all his life couldn't be any better and he loved every minute of it.

#christmas #grudders #fluff #harry potter #greg goyle #dudley #dudley dursley #drabble

[madelinecoffee]

In Sickness and Health

A/N: Riley gets sick, Lucas takes care of her. Fluffy.   Pairing: Riley x Lucas Words: 3,596 words 

It had been a hell week at school for Riley. It was midterms so all of her teachers had loaded her down with work. Most of her teachers were doing mid-term projects instead of tests. For this Riley was partly grateful because she had never been good at tests. But she really cared about her projects and wanted to do a good job. Most of her friends were in a similar boat, busy with school and projects. They were all stressed, and Riley wanted to do anything and everything she could to help them. And she did. She sat for a painting for Maya’s project, helped Zay with some science he was confused on, made sure the two geniuses took breaks in their studying. And she made sure Lucas was taking care of himself. But with her friends, her schoolwork, helping out around the house and the bakery, and writing for the school paper Riley often forget to take care of herself.

           Her friends noticed right away. Maya and Lucas had frequent conversations on how to get her to slow down and came up with some ideas to do so. But these past two weeks none of them had been working.

“Maya can’t you like? Use ring power or something to get her to slow down or something? She’s overworking herself. She hasn’t been sleeping and she hasn’t said anything but I can tell she’s getting really anxious again.” Lucas sighed exasperated about Riley to Maya. Riley had to meet with the school paper on some mornings before class started. So they were waiting at her locker for her before school.

“Ring power doesn’t work like that! She shut me down and wouldn’t even let me sleep over because she was working on her projects and her article for the paper. The girl needs to chill. Can’t you use some of your cowboy charm to get her to take it easy?” Maya asked giving him a look.

“Don’t you think I would have if I could!”  Just then Riley turned the corner giving both of them a wide smile.

“Peaches! Luke!” As she approached Lucas took note of her appearance, he loved the girl but she didn’t look good at all. Her nose was red and she looked like she was about to fall over from exhaustion. She gave Maya a big hug and then gave Lucas one. She left one arm around his waist and put most of her weight on him as she turned to them.

“What were guys talking about before I got here you both looked all mad?” Riley asked as she sniffed into her sleeve. Lucas gave her a look of concern but Maya spoke first.

“Honey, we weren’t mad. Just concerned, we’re worried you’re over working yourself. And are you sniffling? Are you sick?” Maya gave her a pointed look

“Maya. I’m fine I just have some sniffles, and I’ll slow down once this week’s over. We have that 5-day weekend? Remember? No school Thursday or Friday because of teacher stuff and then it’s a day off for some such reason. I don’t know.”

“Just because we have a long weekend doesn’t mean you should overwork yourself Sunshine.” Lucas said giving her arm a light squeeze to show her he wasn’t mad. “We just want you to be feeling well so you can be the best Riley you can be. And are you sure your okay you feel a little warm? You could be getting sick.”

“Guys. I’m fine okay. I’m not getting sick its just allergies.” Riley answered with a wave of her hand.

“Riles. Since when have you had allergies?” Maya asked raising her eyebrows.

“They’re new. But it’s fine. I’m fine! Come on we have to get to class.” Riley linked her hands with Lucas as she pulled him away, but not before Maya and Lucas shared a concerned look. Riley was most definitely getting sick and she still wasn’t taking care of herself.

           By the time Wednesday rolled around it was apparent to everyone that Riley was sick. Although she manged to turn in all her projects, she just kept staring off into space and would stop half way through a thought. Not to mention she looked awful, he eyes were baggy and her nose was red. And her hands were al clamy, Lucas noticed first and tried to get her to go home but she refused.

“Lukkee it’s only like a few more hours until schools over anyway. Then I’ll just sleep the long weekend away.” She answered him as she swayed down the hallway. Lucas tried his best to hold up his girlfriend but she kept swaying away from him. He just wanted to help her and he was getting frustrated at her refusal. But it wasn’t just him. All their friends tried to get to go home and she was having none of it. Even her dad tried to get to stay home but Riley, stubborn as always refused. Although she did allow her dad to take her home because everyone feared she’d pass out on the subway or some such Riley nonsense.

           Once Riley got home she immediately plopped down on the couch with a loud groan. She didn’t feel well at all and she knew it was her fault. She hadn’t been taking care of herself these past few weeks. But she figured her needs could wait, her friends needed her help. But now she felt terrible and woozy all she wanted was her mom to take care of her. But that’s when she remembered her parents were going on a school trip with Auggie for the long weekend.

“Mommmy! Mom Mom!” Riley called out knowing her Mom was working from home today. Topanga came in and noticed Riley on the couch, she had too noticed Riley letting herself go these past few weeks. But she didn’t figure she’s be this sick.

“Yes sweet pea? What’s up?” Topanga asked putting Riley’s head in her lap and petting her hair. Riley closed her eyes at the feeling and enjoyed the comfort her mom was providing.

“Mommy is there anyway you or Dad could stay back this weekend? I don’t feel good at all. And I know I’m almost an adult but I think I’m dying.” Topanga defintiley agreed that Riley looked like she was dying and she definitely needed someone to watch out for her.

“Riley honey, you know we can’t. As much as I want t stay home and take care of you we promised the school and Auggie we’d chaperone. Auggie’s still sad he didn’t get to go on the ski lodge trip with us. Try to get some rest sweetie and I’ll see if I can find anyone to stay with you for the weekend. I don’t want you alone when you’re this sick.” Topanga kissed Riley’s head as she drifted off into dreamland.

After letting Cory know about her plans she picked up her phone and scrolled through her contacts until she found the one she wanted.

After letting his mom know where’d he be this weekend Lucas packed up a bag with clothes and other things he might need. Topanga had called him and asked him if he minded coming to stay with Riley for the weekend. She and Cory had to go on some trip with Auggie and Topanga was worried Riley would injure herself if she was left alone in her sickness. Lucas had made sure to ask if it was okay with Mr. Matthews before he agreed, the last thing he needed was to loose a shoe. He was grateful Mrs. Matthews had asked him to watch over Riley this weekend, he savored every moment he could sneak with the brunette and a long weekend of uninterrupted time was pure bliss. Sure Riley was sick but he’d still be spending time with his sunshine. He quickly shook his head as he pressed the buzzer and were let into the building. The door was unlocked and the cutest site he had ever scene greeted him.

Riley was on the couch wrapped up with her fleece tie blanket they had made together one time. One side had purple cat fabric and the other side was blue fabric with cuddle bunnies on it. Her hair was partly falling out of her bun, she had a pillow indent on one side of face and she still look exhausted and confused. All in all she looked beautiful to Lucas.

“Hey Sunshine you look cozy” Lucas noted as he plopped down next to her on the couch and gave her blanket-covered head a kiss.

“Lucas?” Riley asked with a slurred voice she was sure this was a dream. “What are you doing here?”

“Ah Lucas! Welcome!” Topanga proclaimed as she entered the area. “Riley, sweetie, Lucas is going to stay with you while we’re away. You’re pretty sick and I just worry about you all alone here.”

“Wait. What?” Riley asked with a confused look as Lucas found her hand under her blanket and gave it a quick squeeze.

“Sunshine, I’m going to be here with you this weekend to make sure you don’t just chug cold medicine or run into walls or anything dangerous. Also I know you get lonely when you get sick so I’ll be here to keep you company.” Lucas told Riley with a proud smile. Riley sat there trying to process the fact that she would have a full weekend alone with Lucas. And her parents were letting her?

“But? Isn’t Dad going to flip?” Riley asked turning towards her mother.

“Nope, Cory’s on board. He’s just happy you’re not going to be alone while we’re gone. I put the numbers you need in case of emergency on the fridge and there’s money for food in the drawer. Medicine is in the tray on the table. I’m sure our future vet over here can figure out what to give you.” Topanga rattled off the information as she pointed to the various areas mentioned. “All right my two loves, we’ll see you when you get back.” She gave each a hug and kiss on the head. Before she exited the door she turned and said, “Take care of our girl Lucas.”

Lucas shot her a smile, “Of course Mrs. Matthews, I won’t let anything happen to her.”

Riley just stared at Lucas in awe. “You’re really going to be here all weekend?” Riley sniffed and her eyes filled with tears. “And you won’t leave me?” Her voice cracked at the end and some tears trickled down. She quickly wiped them away, embarrassed and confused as to why she was crying.

Lucas used his thumb to wipe away some of the tears she had missed and kissed her head, “Yes, Sunshine. All weekend long, I won’t leave you unless you ask okay?” Riley simply nodded and grabbed a tissue to blow her nose. “So what seems to be hurting Riley? Other than your stuffy nose?” Lucas asked Riley with a small smile as he put his arm around her and pulled her close.

“My head’s all fuzzy and I’m really cold. And my stomach feels weird.” Riley told him as she snuggled further under Lucas’ arm and into his side.

“Hmm, okay. Do you want some food? Maybe your just hungry?” Riley quickly shook her head.

“Ow, okay no more head shaking that hurts. Usually when I get a cold or whatever this is I can’t each much without throwing it up. But I am hungry…ugh I hate being sick.” Riley stated with a frown

“Well how about some cinnamon toast or some soup? Huh that shouldn’t be too much for you?” Lucas asked with a hopeful smile.

“Soup sounds nice. I’m cold and it’ll be warm right?”

“Yes, I’ll go get it for you Sunshine. Why don’t you find something for us to watch?” Lucas made sure the remote was close by and her covers were around her. She had queued up Cuddle Bunnies for them to watch. Lucas put the soup on the table as Riley cozied into his side once again. Once he was sure she was settled he put the soup in her lap.

“Thanks Luke is this okay to watch? I wanted something I didn’t need to focus on because words and hard and my head is icky.” She asked giving Lucas a concerned look.

“Of course I love cuddling with you and watching Cuddle Bunnies.” He gave her head a kiss and made sure she ate her soup. Once she had finished he put the bowl on the table.

“Thank you for the soup Lukey.” Riley thanked him and patted his cheek. Lucas just laughed at her and gave her a kiss on the head. He gave Riley some medicine to help with her nose and head following the instructions on the bottle.  Soon after Riley ended up lying across his lap as he petted her hair much like her mother was doing earlier. “This feels really nice, thanks Luke for being with me” Riley expressed as she closed her eyes.

“Of course, anything for you Sunshine. You know I love you.”

“Well yeah you love me…but I don’t know where I’m going with this thought. But I love you too.”  They settled back into comfortable silence, occasionally making comments about the episode playing.  At one point Lucas noticed that Riley had stopped making comments and when he peaked down at her she was asleep with little light snores coming from her mouth. He debated on wither or not to wake up and go to bed. He ultimately decided he was going to carry her to bed and tuck her in. He gracefully picked her up bridal style being careful not to wake up, and he did a pretty good job until he got her into bed. She started to stir as he was pulling the covers over her.

“Luke? What’s happening? Is the queen here?” Riley asked confusion and sleep evident in her voice. Lucas chuckled at her.

“No Sunshine you’re just going to bed, I’ll be out on the couch if you need anything though okay?” Lucas made to leave before Riley’s small hand latched onto his wrist.

“No. Not okay. You said you’d stay with me all weekend. And you’re trying to leave.” Riley looked close to tears as she looked at him.

“Shh Sunshine. I’m not leaving I’ll just be in the living room. I don’t know where else I’d sleep.” Lucas tried to soothe Riley but she was having none of it.

“Luke. No. You sleep here with me. But the left side, the right side is my side.” Riley told him firmly. The thought hadn’t even crossed his mind. Sure he sometimes snuck over and accidently feel asleep well they were talking but he never purposefully sleep next to her.

“Riley are you sure you want me sleeping next to you?” Lucas asked nervousness evident in his voice.

“Well duh Luke. What you’re never going to sleep next to me? What about when we’re married you’ll sleep on the couch? You’re dumb.” Riley stated as she pulled the covers over herself and waited for him to get in.

“Sick Riley’s mean. And you’re already thinking about us being married?” Lucas pouted as he slipped into the left side of the bed.

“Shush, I just wanted you to get in so we can sleep I’m so tired and cold. And you’re so warm. And now we can cuddle!” Riley scooted over to Lucas and laid her head on his chest while the beat of his heart lulled her to sleep. Lucas was soon to follow with his arms around Riley.

Riley woke up with a start in the middle of the night. Something didn’t feel right. She quickly realized she was about to puke. She threw her hand over her mouth as she ran to the bathroom. Her stomach revolting the soup she had previously eaten. As she leaned over the toilet she felt someone pull her hair pack and rub her pack. Once she was done and flushed and leaned back to see her boyfriend grabbing a hair tye off the counter and doing her hair into a low pony.

“Luke. You don’t have to, you can go. You don’t need to see me like this, I think I’m going to be here for a while.” Riley expressed her voice hoarse and her eyes tired.

“No way Sunshine, I’m not leaving you remember?” Lucas gave her a dubious look, “What are you going to do when we’re married and you get sick huh? The vows say ‘in sickness and in health’.” Riley didn’t get a chance to respond as her stomach churned again and she leaned over, still feeling Lucas rubbing her back. Once she was done tears sprung to her eyes as she leaned back into her boyfriend.

“I hate this. I hate being sick. All I want to do is sleep but I don’t think I can stand. This sucks.”

“Well if you want to go back to bed I can carry you. How about that?” Riley nodded her head at Lucas suggestion. He scooped her up so they were chest to chest and she laid her head on his shoulder. Once back in her room he tucked her back in and got into ‘his side’ as Riley announced.

“Thanks Luke. I don’t know what I would do without you.” Riley slurred as she went off to sleep.

The next few days went by smoothly Riley only ate toast as to not upset her stomach and took her medicine without complaint. They watched TV and snuggled and talked. Lucas read Harry Potter aloud to Riley a tradition they had started a few weeks ago. They’d read the book out loud together and once they were done they’d watch the movie together. By Sunday night Riley was almost completely better. But it was evident to Lucas that something was still bothering her.

“Sunshine what’s on your mind? You’ve got your thinking face on.” Lucas asked her bobbing her nose to bring her out of her head.

“Well it’s two things…the first one. Luke? Do you think I made myself sick?” Riley asked him sheepishly playing with his fingers as they cuddled.

“Made yourself sick? What do you mean?” Lucas asked with a concerned tone.

Riley sighed, “I mean, do you think because I was doing so much stuff and didn’t take the time to care for myself or get out of my own head that that’s why I got sick?” Riley shrugged and looked away from Lucas.

“I think that you care a lot. About everyone in your life, but sometimes you forget or don’t think about yourself. And yeah maybe it’s part of why you got sick but it could also have been chance.” Lucas shrugged and gave her cheek a kiss.

“So it is my fault!” Riley started to sniffle and Lucas was quick to console her as she snuggled her face into his chest.

“Shh Sunshine. I don’t think it was you, you not taking care of yourself probably contributed to whatever sickness was already inside of you. If you want we can work on making sure you take of yourself together? How does that sound?” Lucas asked rubbing her back gently. Riley peaked out from Lucas’ chest and sniffled.

“That sounds nice Luke. I think I just get wrapped up and in my own head. And to some extent its just easier to worry about others than it is to focus on my own issues.” Riley stated with a sigh

“Well that’s what I’m here for Sunshine, to take care of you.” Luke gave her nose a kiss electing a giggle and wide smile from Riley. “So we all good with that topic?” Riley nodded her head and snuggled more securely in Lucas’ lap. “You said there was something else?” Lucas trailed off as he waited for Riley to fill him in.  She suddenly flushed pink.

“Uh…I was just wondering if you meant what you said when you talked about in sickness and health and like…do you think like think we’ll get there someday? Like marriage?”

“Of course, I love you and like I know its silly but this weekend kind of felt like we were married. It sucked you were sick but I liked taking care of you. Don’t you think about stuff like that?” Lucas asked her with a small smile

“I love you too, and of course I think about stuff like that I just thought that’s cause I’m a girl. But I’m glad you think about it too.” Riley let out a large yawn and Lucas noticed how late it had gotten. Lucas scooped Riley up

“Come on Sunshine lets go to bed.” Riley smiled into his shoulder happy to be in his arms.

On Monday they stayed in their pjs and made pancakes. Riley had Lucas do a facemask with her, they had a nice day in without Riley’s sickness looming. Lucas ended up staying with her Monday night as well and they went to school together on Tuesday with huge smiles on their faces. Their friends teased them about ‘Dr. Lucas’ taking care of Riley for the weekend. But Riley just smiled and laughed it off and said she was grateful she had Lucas for sickness and health.

#rucas fanfic #rucas fic #gmwnet #userdivine #ouat2011 #girl meets world fic #be kind please #my writing

[dcnativegal]

Autumn in the Oregon Outback

It’s autumn here in the Oregon Outback. I’m writing this in mid-December and it surely feels like winter. The snow is so beautiful and stays white. In DC, by day 3 the snow is grey and black.

We started burning wood in the stove right after the equinox. Much of the wood we’ve bought is stacked in the wood shed but then we were away for a weekend and it rained and the wheelbarrow wheel is flat and Valerie’s hand isn’t quite healed from surgery… can you hear the excuses? So, we gather the wood from the driveway AND the shed at the moment. All in good time.

We had a little trouble locating someone who’d deliver wood all the way to Paisley. We were on a waiting list, but I got anxious since wood is our only source of heat. A client knows somebody who knows somebody who desperately needs the work, and next thing we know, we have a pile of wood. When Valerie organized it, she realized it was not quite a cord, and we’d paid $160, which is a lot for a cord, though more reasonable with the 90-minute round trip from Lakeview factored in. We gave him another chance and he gave us than two and a half more cords.  That were not cut quite right. So we have a stack that needs more chopping, and a lot of misshapen bits with tree branches sticking out that make them very hard to stack. We are making do. He was deeply grateful. And we have heat.

When I got up this morning, it was 23 outside and 62 inside. It may get warmer than freezing today, and with my beloved pyromaniac, Valerie, at the stove, it might get as warm as 78. Which means it’s over 80 in the loft if you want to take a nap. I go from wool socks, warm jammies and a sweatshirt to a tank top and shorts in the course of a day. If we ever lose power in winter, we’ll be fine.

Valerie had a medical adventure this past summer in which she woke up and couldn’t get the world to stop spinning. I called her daughter, Hope, an RN at the one hospital in this county, and she met us in the emergency department. The 45-minute ride down to Lakeview with poor Val puking in a bucket was not fun. With a shot of Zofran, she stopped puking, and after an overnight stay to see if she’d had a stroke, an MS flare or “just” loose crystals in her ears, she saw a neurologist to establish care with one out here in Oregon. And it was the neurologist who said, you know you really should see a hand surgeon about those lumps in your left hand. Which hurt when she bonks them. So she did. And the hand surgeon, in Bend, went WHOA NELLY you need those lumps out. Can it wait until after my grandson Adam’s wedding in September? Nope. We’ll schedule the surgery for next week. That’s how fast she came to have 22 schwanomas removed very delicately; they apparently cluster like grapes along nerves. The surgeon had to cut her hand like Zorro because straight-line scars would contract and she’d have even more trouble opening her hand fully. The presenting problem of dizziness turned out to be a temporary issue of rogue ear crystals, but what came out of all the hullabaloo was a hand that no longer hurts.

She’s fine now, and stretches her hand out with the use of heat.

++

Recently, Valerie spent hours with 3 neighbors killing chickens, then defeathering them, and finally putting them in baggies to freeze. For her labors, she got two whole chickens (minus their heads, and innards), and two livers. Valerie does love liver and onions. (The big animal vet she sometimes works for says eating liver is like sucking on an oil filter. I’ll take his word for it and avoid the whole situation.) The neighbors, who’d bought chicks to grow them into meat chickens (not egg-producing ones) now have 35 chicken carcasses frozen for winter meals. Valerie invited me to help. Ha! Ha, ha ha HA!  That would be a no. I did take over our new-to-us poodle named Griffey. He’d have LOVED to smell all the feathers as they were drifting to the ground. The whole business was a revelation. I didn’t stay long. (Shudder.) If I’m going to eat chicken, I need to appreciate where the poor bird on my plate came from. I just don’t need to pluck the actual feathers off myself.

Later that same day, after Valerie’s chicken-plucking and a long shower, we drove to the Lakeview Elks Lodge for a fundraiser for the senior citizen meal program. (The Elks Lodge is the largest venue for big gatherings in the county.) There are 350 senior citizens living below the poverty line. The program serves less than a third of that, and although the meals are offered for free, they are not entirely subsidized by tax revenue, therefore, fundraiser. I’ve come to know the folks at the Senior Center through my many requests for transportation, and they are hardworking, smart women.

Val and I sat and chatted with a husband wife pair we’ve gotten to know from St. Luke’s Episcopal. And then, my coworker, fellow knitter, and Valerie’s primary care provider walked in with her husband. I gestured wildly and they joined our table. She’s the health care person who refers the most clients to me for mental health assessment. I got to know her when I worked in Christmas Valley, those 18 months when I drove north each workday instead of south. She referred clients to our tiny mental health outpost up there. Other things we have in common: she’s a liberal. She’s lived and worked on the east coast. She grew up with a high ACE score (which means, many Adverse Childhood Experiences.) She’s a serious introvert and has a very busy, stressful life in the same clinic that I work in. I admire her very much. Her name is Kathleen.

The Lakeview Senior Center program started and we heard about services to folks 65 and older in the county, which include home delivered meals, transportation to far-flung doctor appointments in Bend and Medford, and daily meals with socializing. Right before dinner was served, there was a loud clatter and thud at the edge of the tables. A man had collapsed. A small group surrounded him. Kathleen asked, is something wrong? Yup. She went over to the man, and stayed there until the EMTs took him out on a gurney to the emergency department. She came back to the table, regretful that she’d had half a beer and had to breathe that breath onto this guy, who’s had trouble with dehydration since his car broke down and he wandered around in the desert for days. Despite the Hebrews’ and Jesus’ success at wandering in deserts, it’s not recommended.

We finally chewed on our tamales, beans and rice, followed by sheet cake. Manley, and Valerie, talk old haying equipment, and tell stories. One of my favorites is about the time when young Valerie worked as a ‘hooker’, that is, she hooked lumber so that it could be lifted by a CAT(erpillar) onto a truck… she tells this story so much better than I do… A guy in a caterpillar hoists her up by large hooks which she holds onto, and he lifts her over to the log he wants her to put on the truck next. She puts the hooks where they go and up goes the log onto the truck.

One day, she’s swinging in the air above the logs still waiting to be loaded, hanging on by her hands, and she sees that the guy running the caterpillar is slumped over the enormous steering wheel. Has he had a heart attack? She swings herself around to see the other crew member to find out if he notices the slumped guy, and guy #2 is slapping the side of the truck in paroxysms of humor. Uh oh. She looks down and her bra straps had snapped and her bra was now visible as a belt around her waist. The caterpillar driver managed to catch his breath and graciously swings her up and over a bush and she drops down. After she’d gotten her bra back up where it belongs, she came out behind the bush and bowed.

A great story. One of many that show how a tough woman gets out of a pink-color trap to work alongside cranky menfolk who learn begrudging respect for this ‘hooker’ and ‘millwright’ and shoe cobbler and… my partner is remarkable …

At the benefit dinner, we listened to the brief explanation of how Meals on Wheels is a program of the triple A which has nothing to do with the American Automobile Association, despite the importance of ‘wheels’ in home-meal delivery, but is rather the Area Agency on Aging. Which is a governmental entity. And that’s all that’s said about that by the director of the program. Because we are in an anti-government, very “red” county. But I know that it’s the Older Americans Act that funds all the ‘triple As’ in the country, one covering every county in the USA. (Since Lake County is the red headed step child of Klamath County, that triple A covers 2 counties.) And I know that the Older Americans Act was one enduring program signed into law by Lyndon B Johnson as part of the Great Society Legislation which also brought us Medicaid and the Voting Rights Act, to name just two more important bits of ‘government.’  

Just ask Valerie. My blood pressure goes up when people disparage ‘government’ around these parts. I know too many very good people who served in ‘government’, how many laws are so deeply helpful to everyone, like the Americans with Disabilities Act, the Affordable Care Act, and the Family Medical Leave Act. How most things that we complain about are due to the influx of corporate control over government, and how reluctant the government is to tax corporations. Campaign finance reform would be the way to drain the ‘swamp.’  

Nevermind. I’m trying to chew all my food and not eat too much of it since my bariatric surgery in April as the evening wears on.

(I will post about the weight loss adventure one of these days…)

I’m glad we went. I’m glad to show my face in support of the senior center. Plus we got to visit with two folks I like. One of whom knew just how to care for a man who collapsed.

The other day, Kathleen walked into my over-decorated office and said, Jane I really need your help. Expecting to hear about a patient who was crying in the examining room and who would soon be ‘warmly handed off’ to me for counseling, I was surprised to hear she needed help with the first couple of rows of a 90-stitch knitting project. Could I cast on? Why of course. “Other duties as assigned.”

*****

In other news, we are adjusting to life with a dog. Since Valerie’s faithful Westie, Dudley, died about 7 years ago, she’s dog-sat various pooches and lived happily with my 13 year-old cat, Moe. Since Val’s pretty much retired from ranch irrigation, she’s now able to spend time with a dog. She was vocal about wanting some sort of poodle mix, because they are smart. Lake County is full of cow dogs, pit bulls, and lots of chihuahuas for some reason. When her daughter Hope saw a message on Facebook about a family needing to rehome a poodle mix, she signaled Valerie, and next thing we know, we have a dog named Griffey, named after a baseball player. He’d been born 6 years before in Maryland, and flown by a coworker’s father to a ranch here; Erin has a poodle breeding business. Poor Griffey apparently didn’t like being in a herd. That family rehomed him with a young couple who had a baby and worked long hours away from home. Griffey pooped in their bed. So Griffey came to us.

This pooch is very well behaved. Aside from chasing the cat, which we are trying to discourage, he obeys Valerie’s voice, loves going gallivanting in the desert every mid-day, and enjoys the cat food Moe turns her nose up at. We take him with us to town for church, and he sits in the truck, waiting for our return. Moe gets the house to herself for a few hours. We’ve become a family who lives with a dog. His current names include “Nickelplate” (which is cheap jewelry), “poor, sad dog”, Snicklefritz, and “Your dogliness.”

I swear there are 2 rush hours in Lakeview every weekday: one at lunch to let the dogs out to pee, and one at dinner for the same purpose, even if folks are going out to dinner later. The homeless people have dogs; the owners won’t go into subsidized housing if their dogs can’t come, too. Dogs and guns. Everyone has them. We don’t have guns. But we do have Griffey. Currently, Griff and Moe are negotiating how to sleep on their humans without hissing and growling at each other.  This is not going well; however, Moe, who’s never lived with a dog or encountered dogs in her sheltered life, is learning to hiss and swipe, which may be far more effective than us ordering Griffey to resist a primeval impulse to chase.

The other thing I’ve been doing is starting up and nurturing a group of women who knit, crochet, or want to learn. I miss knitting in a group, chatting, sharing stories about anything. These gatherings have been called “Stitch and Bitch”, but there is no bitching that I can tell. Occasional complaints about the wait service at the first venue we tried, which had but one worker and one cook for the entire restaurant. We moved to the bowling alley, a large building that has a cavernous party room with a wall protecting us from the racket of big ball bowling. The food has been better and the waitresses take good care of us. So TJ’s Family Fun Center is where we can be found on Wednesday evenings right after work.

I’m surprised by the enthusiasm, and we’ll see if it lasts. The very first gathering, there were 11 of us, and a couple women came to learn. I’m a pretty patient teacher, as long as you’re right handed. I’ve listed youtube videos in our facebook group for lefties, and lots of projects. Here are a couple that I finished this fall.

#woodstove crochet

[builder051]

Come to me now and rest your head part 13: Halloween (MCU Captain America fanfic)

This is part 13 of a 15-chapter fic about Bucky’s return and recovery, as told through a year’s worth of rough holidays. Not every chapter will be emeto, but all have some form of physical illness or mental health struggle that could be categorized as sickfic or whump.

We are in powers/no powers choose-your-own-adventure.

Contains emeto and migraines.

__________________________________________________________________

Bucky’s first day of work is the day before Halloween.  It took a few days after broaching the topic of a job with Steve to broach it with Sam, and all of two minutes after broaching it with Sam for him to offer Bucky a position at the VA, but it’s taken the better stretch of two months for Bucky accept and choose a start date.

If Bucky remembered his first day of kindergarten, he thinks he’d remember something like this morning.  Steve irons Bucky’s favorite flannel shirt and packs him a lunch and so many snacks that he doesn’t think he’ll be hungry enough or have time in his 4 to 6 hour workday to consume them all.

Sam comes by at 8:30 to pick him up.  Bucky doesn’t make it out of the bathroom until 8:33 because he’s quashing anxiety under the guise of trying one-handedly to pull his hair into a ponytail.  Luckily, Steve’s there to rescue him from the hair elastic and pour Sam a cup of coffee so everyone’s pretty much satisfied.  Sam and Bucky are on the road by 8:45.

“You’ll have flex hours,” Sam explains as they pull into the VA staff lot.  “So you can come in at any time you want as long as you make 20 hours in a week.  You can do 5 days of 4 hours, or 2 days of 8 and a 4, or whatever works in your schedule.  And your start time doesn’t matter.  I can keep picking you up, or Steve can drop you off, or if you feel like walking or someday you’re driving yourself…whatever works.”

It’s already a lot of information to process.

Sam leads Bucky down a maze of hallways.  Bucky’s grateful it’s away from the hospital-y wing and toward a more office-y area.

“Here you are,” Sam says, pushing open a door decorated with a large paper pumpkin.  “The billing office.”

There’s a waiting area with two pink upholstered chairs and an end table with several outdated magazines.  Behind a long counter sits a young woman in her 20s, and beyond that, Bucky can see several drab grey cubicles.

“Hey Darcy,” Sam says.  “This is James.”  They’d agreed beforehand that Bucky wanted to try going by his given name.

“Oh, hey,” Darcy says.  “I’ll get him set up.”  She smiles at Bucky.  “Come on back.  We got 4 part-time billers, but it looks like you’re the only one home today.”

She opens a swinging door at the end of the counter and escorts Bucky and Sam back into the cubicles.  They stop outside the end cube, which has a nameplate reading “JAMES” clipped to the dingy fabric.  “This is you,” Darcy says.  “You can decorate or whatever.  If you want.”

“Hm,” Bucky says.  He sets his backpack, which is filled mostly with snacks, on the desk beside the rather outdated computer monitor.

“You ready to get started in the system, or do you wanna walk around a little bit more first?” Darcy asks.

“Um…”  Bucky doesn’t know.

“I just ask ‘cause everyone’s pretty different in how they like to attack a new job.  How about I get you logged in, and you let me know if you want to break for a tour.”  Darcy steps back to her desk to wheel her swivel chair into Bucky’s cubicle.

“You’re doing good,” Sam reassures.  “I’ll hang out for a little bit.  But you’ll be fine with her.  She’s nice.”

Bucky sits at the computer and follows Darcy’s directions to log onto the computer and access the timekeeping system, then the billing system.  He nods at Sam when he slides out of the cube, feeling at least somewhat settled and in control.

“It’s a lot of clicking, and a little typing.”  Darcy glances at his stump arm and gracefully balances her looking before it becomes staring.  “Being a biller, it’s not that hard, but the pay’s so good because your real job is to keep confidentiality.  It’s all vets looking out for vets here, so that’s not really that hard either,” Darcy says.

“You’re a vet?” Bucky asks, not meaning it to come out so candidly.

“Yeah, I know I don’t really look the part.”  Darcy adjusts her glasses.  “I enlisted out of high school and did one tour.  Got injured, got discharged, now I’m going to college and doing this on the side.  Cause it pays better than my old internship.  Billing is cool except if you want to talk to people, so that’s why I do the desk instead of hanging back here.  You probably think I’m weird, but I like answering the phone.”

“Oh,” is what Bucky drudges up for a response.

She stays by his side for another 20 minutes, showing him how to take electronic paperwork and use it to fill out more electronic paperwork, match diagnosis codes, check names and addresses, and finally submit documents for filing.  It seems tedious, but manageable.

“I think you pretty much got it,” Darcy says.  “I’ll leave you to it.  Unless you want to go for a walk?”

Bucky shakes his head.

“Ok.  The tour’s not all that.  It’s really just a trip to the breakroom.  And the only thing cool about that place is the coffee.”  She continues, “So, just press on, I guess.  Ask questions if you have them.  Or if your monitor goes trippy, I know how to hit it so it goes back to normal.”

Bucky doesn’t ask what that means.  He just nods.

“Oh, and there are jolly ranchers under the counter if you want some.”  Darcy points to her station.

Bucky nods again as she retreats, and turns his attention to the new claim form on his screen.  He blinks hard to try to mitigate the glare of the fluorescent lights against his computer screen.

He makes it through that form and the next two before his head starts aching.  It begins as the normal shake-it-off kind of headache that usually means nothing more than too much coffee or not enough coffee or it’s cloudy or it’s Tuesday, but within half an hour, it’s progressed to the start of a migraine.

Bucky pushes his keyboard back and rests his forehead on the edge of the desk.  He can’t remember what he put in his backpack.  There might be Excedrin somewhere among the sandwiches and granola bars.  Bucky doesn’t really want to raise his head to check.  Aura’s creeping in behind his eye and edging out his peripheral vision with white light.

The phone rings, and Darcy’s clipped voice answers it.  “Fuck,” Bucky mutters as the sound ratchets up the pain toward sickening nausea.  His forehead and right temple are throbbing so badly.

Darcy hangs up the phone, and something plastic crinkles.  “James?  You want some candy?” she calls.

Bucky doesn’t want to open his mouth to answer.  He’d rather just crawl under the desk and curl up and die, but that doesn’t seem appropriate for his first day on the job.  He ends up having to stick his head under the desk, though, and heave into his small trashcan.  And it’s just his luck that Darcy’s rounding the edge of his cube to offer candy just as he gags up his breakfast.

The bag of jolly ranchers hits the floor, and Darcy says, “Oh my god, ok, hold on a sec, let me call Sam.”

Bucky’s heart throbs in his sinuses and he retches again.  After a few seconds, or maybe a few years, footsteps sprint up behind him.  Sam’s on his knees at Bucky’s shoulder.  “Ok, man, you’re good, you’re good.”

Sam walks him to the bathroom as soon as Bucky’s stomach’s settled enough for him to stand up.  The vertigo’s still thrumming so strongly he can barely walk a straight line.  Bucky steps into the single stall and leaves the door open, squatting in front of the toilet to heave some more.  Sam puts a hand lightly on his back and quietly asks, “You got words for how you’re feeling?”

Bucky can’t convince his throat to come out of contraction, so he just spits into the toilet.

“It’s ok if you don’t…”

“Is…huh…’s a migraine…” Bucky breathes, stopping to hiccup.

“Alright, alright.  You tell me when you’re ready to go home,” Sam says.

“I feel so…god, ah, fuck…” Bucky dry heaves one last time and sinks back against the wall of the stall.  His face is pure white and sweat beads on his temples and upper lip.

“Yeah, I know you don’t feel good.  It’s your first day here, you’re probably all wound up…”

“Sorry,” Bucky chokes out.

“No, it’s fine,” Sam insists.  “Dude, it’s the VA.  Don’t you go thinking you’re the only guy that’s ever had a tough first day.”

It takes Bucky another few minutes to calm down and feel ready to ride in the car.  Sam retrieves Bucky’s backpack, lends him some sunglasses, and leads him out to the parking lot.

It’s by sheer willpower that Bucky manages not to be sick in Sam’s car.  The second they’re in the front door of the townhouse, he trips off to the downstairs bathroom.  When he emerges, paler and shakier and sweatier than before, Sam pushes him to the couch and serves up lukewarm water and painkillers.

When Bucky next opens his eyes, Steve is home from work, and Sam’s at the kitchen table, on his fifth back issue of Nat Geo.  Gatorade and Ritz crackers are open on the counter, and Bucky feels famished under his lingering nausea.

He meanders into the kitchen and sits beside Sam.  Steve brings the snacks over and pauses to wrap his arm over Bucky’s shoulders.  Bucky leans forward to press his face into Steve’s chest, and Steve tightens the embrace.

Sam finishes reading his magazine, snags a handful of crackers, and takes his leave.  “You don’t have to come back to work tomorrow if you’re still not feeling great,” he says to Bucky.  “Take as many days as you need.”

Bucky gets back to work on November first. When he gets to his cubicle, Sam and Darcy are screwing lightbulbs into a few desk lamps and cheap torchiers.

The first time Bucky makes it through his scheduled workday, it’s many thanks to the support of his friends.

#sickfic #fanfic #mcu #captain america #stucky #powers/no powers choose-your-own-adventure #emeto #migraines #steve rogers #bucky barnes #sam wilson #darcy lewis #emetophilia #marvel

[blaurascon-kzk]

KZK Discord Digest [Week of May 30 - June 7 Pt.1]

SUMMARY: There's a big thing we're doing that I'm gonna split off into its own post so people can directly reference that. Plus this post is gonna be enormous. Pt.2 should be up shortly after this one. It’s been a busy week!

After months of trying to land a rental and a job in VA so they can move, Kat and April have decided, fuck it, they're going - some generous friends will be having them stay there until they're able to find a place of their own. The PODs are already being loaded. Kat will likely not be able to make / release new things for 2-3 weeks while they move and get settled. On top of that, he has to put his cat Ishizu to sleep soon - she's developed kidney failure and the only treatment would involve dialysis and subq fluid injections, so the difficult decision was made to let her go.

To help fund the move, we've put up a lot of our old LEs and plushy avatars, including things like the Darastryx, Mana Machina, and Murk Beast that haven't seen the light of day since their release. The sale will run for a few weeks, minimum. Check it out here: http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Okarthel/181/81/50

The Direwolf plushy is still WIP. See below for a sneak peek (with a lot of color) Direwolf freebie devkit is finished, barring documentation and instructions. Paid devkit will be getting a v1.2 update soon as well. No ETA on their release given IRL circumstances, but rest assured they are coming as soon as possible! Direwolf update is still WIP pending the move. We apologize deeply for the massive delay with this, and want to thank you all for your patience.

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May 30

Kat05/30/2019 @everyone Another quick teaser for the Eastern Dragon coloring page:  Noodle derg!

Kat05/30/2019 @everyone Last teaser for today, as this one took me all day to finish, but here's the final result for the Eastern Dragon coloring page. The PSD for it, as well as the Northern will be made available once they are both complete. And a quick reminder, You have until tomorrow night to contribute to my patreon at the 10$ or more level if you want to snag a cool resin crystal! I've got another batch of mail going out in a couple of days to fill recent orders so now's your best chance! https://www.patreon.com/darkecokat

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May 31

Kat05/31/2019 @everyone Amazing how much quicker something goes when you've got less detail to contend with! The Northern and Eastern Dragon pages are done, as per the votes on the most recent Coloring page Poll. You can download all the available pages here: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1PfjTfO0M2a47arowNzhXD7MWxEDeNfgI  And here's a preview of the Northern Dragon coloring page! A lone Dragon emerges from its den to greet the emerging spring as the final snowfall starts to melt.

Kat05/31/2019 @everyone Keeping the productivity train rolling. Decided to pick up the Direwolf plush today to break up the monotony of setting up devkit stuff and arting. Here's a preview of one of the steps of making a 3D model. This color vomit is not just awful to look at. It actually serves a very important purpose. Once I've finished the low poly model, I will bake these colors onto it, and my software will be able to use these very distinct colors as a 'Color ID' Mask. It'll save me a bit of time later setting up all the markings during the final baking/texturing phase. Stay tuned for more updates.

Kat05/31/2019 @everyone Been a busy day for announcements the last couple of days. Apologies for nuking your notifications. So update on the job situation.

As of this moment, my fiance and I are on the brink of burning one of our last few bridges with no way of going back. Her job has failed time and time again to work with her on scheduling for travel, and through no fault of her own, could be jobless by the end of tomorrow. Monday she flies up north for an interview, and if they don't hire her, we're out of options. She'll be jobless and we'll be stuck in Louisiana for at least the next six months which is far from ideal.

I say this because I need to start looking forward toward new projects. I'd intended to get the Direwolf update out before I started anything new, but this move has already caused so many delays and problems, that things are now piling up and I need to keep my income stable if I have any hope of qualifying for a place on just my income alone.  So I will do my best to get the plush av out, get the freeby dev kit out, then I will be moving forward with production on a new avatar, while simultaneously working on the remaining bug fixes, missing features and general QoL improvements for the Direwolf.

I promised the update, and as usual, I've dropped that ball. For that I am sorry, and I can only hope for your forgiveness and support as my Fiance and I try to transition through this exceptionally difficult time in our lives.

I hate this state. I hate the people here. I hate being alone all the time. This move is supposed to help fix most of that, and putting out new content is the only way I can make that happen. I hope you all understand. Thank you.

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Jun 1

KatLast Saturday at 7:08 PM @everyone Update on the devkit progress: The Paid devkit will be getting a 1.2 release to address some minor issues bugging me, but that's not happening just yet. The freeby kits have been finished. Now I'm penning up the documentation and usage instructions. Those should be available once I get back from Dallas.

Speaking of Dallas, I will be gone for Sunday, monday, and tuesday. Its cheaper for us to book a hotel room and stay two nights to wait for her return flight than it is to drive back and forth (a total of 12-15 hours of driving for two round trips to dallas) so I'll be camping out in my hotel room with my switch and laptop xD. Hopefully I will have some good news on monday.

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Jun 2

KatLast Sunday at 11:13 AM @everyone so.. I will not be going to dallas, as originally planned. Last night my eldest cat ishizu got very sick. I'm sitting at an emergency clinic right now and wont be home in time to join. So please.. do me a favor, send @AprilsaurusRex words of encouragement for her interview. I'm not able to be there to support her on this trip and its tearing me apart.

KatLast Sunday at 1:07 PM @everyone At home now, waiting on news of the blood test results. Doctors had to sedate her to draw blood because she was fighting back so badly. Normally i'm there to calm her down but the clinic was exceptionally busy and I desperately needed food in my stomach. Total costs are already up around $400 for the IV(sever dehydration from constant vomiting), blood work, and the exam fee. that, compounded with the expenses to book the flights for this interview have taken a bite out of my savings so.. expect some sort of sale or something soon. I'm going to use the unexpected next few days home to focus on work. Thank you all for your support, patience and understanding.

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Jun 3

KatLast Monday at 3:01 PM @everyone Going to try to keep this brief today. Lab results came back early yesterday for my cat(I spent all day just.. processing, and... preparing myself for whats coming.).  I've been reviewing her bloodwork and doing my best through research to interpret the results, along with the information provided by my vets. Her kidneys are in bad shape, and the only 'treatment' now is dialysis and weekly subcutaneous injections of fluids to combat dehydration. I can barely give her a syringe of chicken flavored medicine, let alone get her to sit still long enough to give her a shot. They had to mildly sedate her to even draw blood so... I've made the soul crushing decision to.. stabilize her for now, make her comfortable, and set a date. She will be buried next to my other animals.

As for moving... My fiance and I decided 'fuck it'. Job or no, we're leaving. Thanks to some generous friends in the area, we've got a place to stay while we find a place to live or while she looks for a job should the worst happen and Geico fall thru. I've already ordered the pods and i h ave 15 days to load it before city officials fine me for the pods overstaying its welcome. That'll arrive on the 6th so.. basically everything's on hold at this point while I move and prepare myself to say goodbye to my beloved Ishizu. I got her as a freshman in highschool. I'm going to miss her. so much. I dont want to put her to sleep but weekly injections, stress, and constantly being dragged to a vet where its cold and sterile and constantly stinks of fear is not how I want her final days to play out. I didn't come to this conclusion easily, and even now I wish there weer another way.

KatLast Monday at 3:08 PM @everyone All I ask is that when you get home, or if you are home.. give your cats, dogs, brids, lizards, snakes, turtles.. whatever animals you share your love with, please just.. give em a hug for me, ok? Let em know they're loved, even if they dont understand it. Thank you all for your kind words.

KatLast Monday at 9:58 PM @everyone As mentioned before, I've opted to put up a bunch of retired stuff for sale. Some of the stuff was sold recently when our car broke down, but some of it, like the freeby will o drakes, the murk beast, and the mana machina, haven't seen the light of day since their initial release. Also available is the darastryx, the winter hunt freebies (wings, horns, tail, ect), and a bunch of LEs released for the Sergals, Fennecs, Raptors, Central Dragons and Rift Dragons. I hate that I have to do stuff like this but I will have no time over the next 2-3 weeks to produce any new content, and this is my best chance at staying afloat financially while the move happens. Thank you. http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Okarthel/181/81/50

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Jun 4

KatLast Tuesday at 11:07 PM @everyone We've been having some major issues with our host, so if you have any issues with a purchase, PLEASE let myself or @Blau know. I will do my best to respond and resolve the issues.

That said, by popular demand I've set up 4 new sets of avatars out that were previously exclusive to preorder or hunt events: This is the LE Fennecs, LE Ferox, LE Kaori, and the Hunt exclusive Rift Dragons. This sale will only go on for a few weeks.

A fond thank you to everyone for their support and kind words. It means the world to me. Ishizu is home with me now, and has spent the majority of today relaxing and resting.  She's yet to eat anything, but she's drank a bit. Hasn't used the restroom yet though which has me really worried.

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Jun 5

KatLast Wednesday at 11:08 AM @everyone If you or someone you know has had any issues with deliveries, please drop me a message in SL. I know the alloy was a bit issue (entirely because of a mistake I made), so just drop me a message mk?

KatLast Wednesday at 12:32 PM @everyone If you're wearing a Kirin Alloy and your neck/spine guards attach to your HUD, this is a bug with Firestorm, not the avatar. I've just tested a freshly unpacked copy on the Default viewer and it works just fine for me. So make sure your viewer is up to date, and if it is, send a bug report to the Firestorm devs. Thank you.

#kzk-dd #kzk

[cosmosogler]

hawaii part 3

hmm yes it does appear that i left writing the journal off until 11:30. that was a mistake. i got distracted. it’s easier to not think about things than to think about things. it’s... easier to think about other things too.

reading my post yesterday in order to get my bearings i realized how much i dislike the way i “sound.” no wonder everyone treats me like a man baby.

the public beach was fine. i didn’t want to stand around at the hotel and play pokemon all day so i went to a beach with bigger waves with my brother, austin, thomas, dad, and uncle mike. the neighbors came too, later. everyone except me and uncle mike was out in the waves so i just sat in the shade in the soft dirt-sand and talked to mike about cook’s pines, which we had spotted at the very north end of the island. you could see out that far from this part of the beach. we also talked about pigeons since there were a lot of them. we talked a little bit about eve and how, when pounds want to get their animals adopted, they describe the animal using the most exotic breed in the mix. wiley is a “finnish spitz mix.” (look them up they’re super cute actually.) eve is a “greyhound mix,” even though mike said she acts way more like a black lab. he said they’re always skittish like she is. 

i couldn’t really argue with that. it is more exciting to say you have a half-greyhound than a half-black lab. and eve never shuts up when mike is around. she just howls and howls and runs away and howls from the other room even a little while after he’s gone. she’s done that since she was 3. i thought she would get used to him after a year or two, but i guess once she realized he was also her vet she kept a grudge. 

wiley likes him though.

i eventually stumbled out into the waves knee-deep to laugh at the boys and their boogie boards. i probably stood out in the sun for just a little too long. i had been upset that i’d forgotten the sun hat gramma bought for me... i dunno it’s just nice to stand with your feet in the ocean even if you’re not swimming. 

i didn’t stay out for too long though. i mostly had gotten up because my legs were falling asleep sitting in the dirt, and also because i had sat down less than a foot away from an anthill and dropped my shoes on top of it. i went back in the shade and talked to sierra a little bit and played some pokemon.

i don’t remember what we did for dinner after that. it’s kind of frustrating to go to dinners with my family. gramma and sharon heavily favor restaurants we are familiar with over restaurants that are good/are easier for 25% of us to eat at. ryan has the fatal peanut oil allergy, i’m vegetarian, my sister’s got a lot of dietary restrictions and is generally picky, austin’s not allowed to touch nuts since his brother’s so allergic. gramma can’t eat red meat but we go to steak houses all the time. thomas won’t eat anything but hot dogs and sometimes pizza.

the next day was the last day on maui. my sister, claudia, uncle dave, and i broke off from the group to go to the aquarium. i didn’t realize that my family wasn’t joining everyone else for lunch so i didn’t think to say goodbye to anyone when we left the hotel. that kind of sucked. the aquarium was nice though. i sent a lot of pictures with one-liners and snarky comments to asher. i also took a ton of videos, which i forgot to show him when we hung out today.

after that (and some shopping) my sister and i had to wait in the shopping center after dave took claudia back to the hotel. we waited for like 40 minutes for our family to pick us up. we had some ice cream. the car ride over to ihop sucked. it was just the worst. my parents would yell at each other, and then demand unreasonable things from my sister (who had siri open), and then when my sister would get irritated she would get yelled at for raising her voice. my mom and dad acted like she was SO unreasonable for being frustrated with them. “i’m just such-and-such,” they would say, like “just” doing something excuses you from being a dick. “i’m just sayin.”

i hate “i’m just sayin.” it’s dad’s trump card for when he wants to “win” an argument. because if you get mad when someone is “just sayin” words, because “just” saying is so different from “actually” saying, then you are unreasonable and you lose!!!

at ihop i was too sick to eat and my sister was too sick to eat. then about halfway through the meal my brother cried out and put his hands over his eye. i was worried he had gotten hot sauce in it (i noticed the bottle next to his elbow) and suggested washing it out in the bathroom. he and dad didn’t come back for a long time. after we finished eating we dug out my sister’s eye drops and mom basically shot his eye with a jet of saline. also a guy who may or may not have been a tourist was there. he gave me conflicting stories over the span of our conversation. i wanted to focus on my brother but there wasn’t really anything i could do and the guy was very interested in talking to my family.

so then we went to the airport, and i played pokemon while waiting for the plane, which was about 40 minutes late. then we got on the plane and i watched the sun go down and listened to less than a full elo album before we landed on oahu. when we collected our bags and got the rental car my brother complained that his eye still felt like someone was jamming a needle into it and it had been seven hours.

so mom decided it was a good idea to give him one of her oxycodone pills. 

i have some feelings about this. mostly confusion, because i don’t understand why mother would have those pills in the first place. she’s always so harsh when she judges dad’s mom because she’s “addicted to pain killers” and “stole grandpa’s medication before he died” and “complains to the doctor too much so he’ll keep refilling her prescriptions.”

but you know what? 

mom stole my pain killers, my vicodin, when i had my wisdom teeth out. i had to go like five days with just tylenol when my jaw still wasn’t healed enough for me to even eat solids. when i talked to dad about it one time, years ago now i think, he seemed to imply that that was just something she does. 

i’ve met people who are addicted to oxycodone. it’s not a fun time. where the hell is mom getting such a powerful drug? who the hell is giving it to her? she has migraines. but i looked it up just now and oxy is a TERRIBLE  choice for treating migraines. and also it’s super addictive. 

and also i’m a stickler for rules i guess and i was super irritated that mom broke the rules and gave a prescribed medicine to someone who it had not been prescribed to. a powerful one! and she said this might mean she couldn’t take him to the emergency room!

at 11 after we had gotten settled into our new hotel room mom and dad took him to the emergency room anyway. i hope she got in trouble. my brother was super stoned. on the way to the hotel he was asking me stuff like what my major was and where i was going to school. he also made sammie-level bad jokes and laughed at them.

mom complained that we shouldn’t have pushed her to give him one. even though no one had told her to... even my brother was like “i don’t care just do something” at the time. 

so that night i didn’t fall asleep until 1, after my brother got back from the er. he had debris stuck in his eye and it had scratched his cornea. 

i had a dream that the monster didn’t want to kill me. it was after some equipment i had. a while into the dream i realized that not only could i teleport myself (sometimes i can do that), i could send other things away too. actually it was easier to Send Things Away than to teleport myself, which required a lot of brute-forcing my imagination into believing i had taken a huge step forward, sometimes up a wall or through one, instead of just a normal walking step.

it’s literally the best way i’ve dealt with a monster in my dreams basically ever. anyone around me it wanted to hurt, maybe as punishment? send them away. after the machine i had? send it away. “sorry dude, better luck next time.”

there was a lot more to it but it’s hard to explain in words that make sense when put in a sentence together. i wish i dreamed less in fluid images or impressions and more in solid ones.

well, even the solid images don’t always make a lot of sense... they make sense to me, in a weird way, but i can’t figure out how to make it make sense for everyone else. and drawing them is like looking into an infinite fractal. i can never put as much detail on the paper as i saw in my head and then it looks bland and strange and not what i wanted to communicate.

the next day i woke up at like 10:30, which is the latest i ever woke up during the trip. i even turned my alarm off. i felt sick all day. my family left to get lunch and i just stayed in the room because it hurt. in the evening we went to my mom’s cousin’s anniversary house gathering party. this is the cousin my mom doesn’t even like very much, due to gay. 

i didn’t have much food. i mostly talked to my mom’s other cousin and her family, and caught up with some people i didn’t know. the meal was jewish chinese hawaiian. i liked the pasta salad.

by 9 i was too exhausted to talk to anyone any more. i found myself blinking even more owlishly at the host’s collection of mugs painted with the faces of what appeared to be american presidents. there were like 40 of them. i had laughed when i saw them the first time and said “it’s good to have a hobby.” i guess as i got more tired i wanted to say more, but had less to say. so i just looked at them a lot.

i don’t know what i did with all that time. i don’t know what i spent my evening doing. my family was watching a different movie on each tv in the hotel room. we had the two-room setup again, but my brother and i had separate beds this time. it was frustrating because my feet and ankles would get caught in the blanket tucked under the bed. it was too hard to kick the blankets loose so i felt pressed down and restricted and that made it really hard to fall asleep. i have enough trouble getting my arms and legs into comfortable positions while i’m up and about during the day. i spend all night fidgeting and adjusting my weight and yanking my pajama pants around trying to get them to sit right. this happens every night. i’m uncomfortable all the time. my legs just won’t sit right and it feels like if i just kicked or flexed them i could maybe jimmy them into better positions but it never happens. so when i sit i kick my feet around all the time. and when i sit with my hands or arms against a surface i knead at it trying to get my hands! into! the Correct! position!!!

the correct position probably doesn’t exist. i’ve never gotten there before. all i can do is try to loosen up my muscles a little bit so i stop feeling so strained and uncomfortable.

the last full day i spent laying around mostly. i went and looked at the baby seal and took pictures and sent them to asher. i found anny and sarah on the beach but my legs fell asleep while i was sitting under the umbrella with them so i got up and left. i was also getting sunburnt again. i found mom at the hotel restaurant so i got lunch with her even though i didn’t want to. i got a fancy drink with dragonfruit and mango and stuff. i told mom i wasn’t hungry at all but she talked me into a sandwich that was way too big for me to reasonably eat and also like 20 dollars. i barely managed half of it. i gave the other half to dad when he showed up.

then we went to the actual anniversary party at a fancy restaurant. i was too tired to interact with anyone so i sat with my brother and sister and tried to track down a glass of water. my brother ended up with three, mostly as a joke on my part.

this is the story as i understand it. my aunts have been together for 20 years. marriage was legalized between 3 and 4 years ago, and they got officially married a few weeks after the law passed. we were here to celebrate their “anniversary,” though it may have just been the best time of year for everyone to travel. there were a lot of cute and touching speeches. i always enjoy uncle len’s terrible, terrible poetry. it’s actually better than mine at least.

hmm, well, maybe they’re about the same quality now that i’m thinking about it.

the food was very interesting. i was told the chef said he would have something “interesting” for me since i think i was the only vegetarian. i got some kind of briny rice with like a creamy green sauce. it was topped with asparagus and some little tomato cubes. and also really spongy looking mushrooms. and a cracker made out of cheese. i think it was asiago.

it was ok. i was tolerating it pretty well until i picked up a big mushroom stump and tried to eat that. the effect was immediate. i near gagged on how spongy and salty it was. it tasted like the ocean. the last time i accidentally swallowed ocean (a few days previously) i had thrown up immediately. as had my brother. we’re cool like that.

after that i wasn’t interested in eating any more. i had some of the dessert but didn’t really enjoy it that much. i think if i was feeling better i would have liked it more.

don’t tell no one, but we had assigned seats. when i got over to the table with my brother and sister i saw that i was assigned next to dad. i swapped my name card with my second cousin’s so i could sit next to my brother instead.

there were three performing sisters supplying the party with music. they were pretty good! when they came over to our table and asked for requests i said “please god anything but over the rainbow” and they laughed. they played some songs that their mother wrote. but at the end they made us all hold hands and sway together and sing aloha oe. i was bummed about that, mostly because i didn’t want to be standing, partly because i didn’t know the words, and partly because i really didn’t want to hold hands with anyone.

i had a lot of trouble falling asleep at a reasonable hour that night. i had more dreams, and i was thinking about them the next day, but i don’t remember what they were any more. the ride to the airport was stressful. i was crammed in the back with all the suitcases and every time we made a sharp turn i’d get squashed or knocked in the face by the suitcase’s wheels. i ended up getting something like chocolate chalk on my fingers trying to buckle my seat belt and i was upset about that the whole ride.

i texted with asher for a while. i don’t think he was doing so hot but he heard me out which was nice of him. i was looking at a billboard while we were stopped at a gas station and i texted “it’s kind of surprising how little matters in life when you think about it.”

i’d been thinking about that for over a week at that point. so few things actually matter. i was trying to make a list and i could only really think of one thing. being able to see the sky matters.

i also said it was really a relief to look at something and say “screw it, i don’t care about this any more, i’m going to stop putting any effort into it.” because, like, it saves so much energy to not put effort into things you don’t care about! why waste your time on crap that doesn’t matter? 

i mean, sure, if you care about something, be tenacious as hell. but if it doesn’t matter? why am i still trying? why not try at something that does matter?

what i’m getting at here is that i don’t care about being friendly with dad any more. he never apologized or mentioned it or did anything. he barely looks at me. if being embarrassed or being the authority or whatever is more important to him than i am, then screw it! i don’t care! i don’t HAVE to care.

so that’s the hawaii lesson. you don’t have to care. you can choose to care, but you don’t have to.

on the flight back i did nothing but fish for bottle caps for basically six hours. i got up to use the restroom and i did doze for about 20 minutes at the start of the flight. 

it wasn’t really just fishing for bottle caps. i never just fish. that’s boring. i was listening to music and fishing for bottle caps on the side to keep my hands busy. i was barely even paying attention. i spent a lot of time thinking about random stuff. like animorphs, or doing a mental review of one of the comics i’m reading, or wondering about recent developments in another. i also spent actually more time than i should have wondering what the guy next to me was thinking. i mean i was playing what was clearly pokemon, but all i was doing was running back and forth and fishing up pokemon that i ran away from. 

i got nine bottle caps.

we landed around 10:30. baggage claim was normal amounts of crowded and stressful. dad missed the terminal’s curb when he drove over to pick us up and had to spent 10 minutes going all the way back around the airport to try again. it was over 100 degrees even though it was the middle of the night. the car was crammed the whole hour back. we decided to stop at carl’s jr for dinner at 11:30 and i got really sick from the grease. we got home at 12. i putzed around on the internet until 1:30, and then i took a really long time getting ready for bed because i felt disgusting and i wanted to wash off more than usual, and then i couldn’t fall asleep because my brother was screaming at the computer and stuff.

in the morning i went downstairs to go to my doctor’s appointment after sleeping for 5 and a half to 6 hours. after waiting for 10 minutes for dad to get ready to leave, i finally asked when we were heading out because i had no idea where this office was or how to get there. he leaned in real close to me and growled “i NEVER said i would take you ANYWHERE.”

the end!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#tw drugs #sammie gives up #im not the one with the drugs #dont worry about that

[sueboohscorner]

#iZombie S3 Ep9 "Twenty Sided, Die" Recap & Review

Welcome to the ultimate episode for not only nerds; but Veronica Mars fans too! Yes, Logan has arrived! Well, actually Jason showed up last week as the new head of Fillmore- Graves, but for some reason I didn’t recognize him! Dumb me!

Don't Fear the Reaper!

We pick up where we left off last week with Ravi going undercover at Harley’s anti-zombie meeting. Harley plays the video of Justin in full on zombie mode and explains the danger at hand. Ravi definitely seems concerned! He even outs D.A. Baracus-future zombie mayor. John’s has the security guard; Billy Cook tell what he saw at the Max Rager party again. John’s then starts passing out dossiers on suspected zombies and asks for volunteers to keep an eye on them.

The Scratching Post is under new management and Blaine is falling into his old boss roll just fine. Don E is now his number two!

His goals are simple, keep the money flowing and get his new blue juice biz going. So- he asks Don E to try part of a brain soaked in the juice for twenty days, twice as long as Ravi’s recipe so should make for a hell of a trip. Don E isn’t into it but his weirdo sidekick (whom I am not sure has a name) is very into it! I am pretty sure Curly would be into taking just about ANYTHING!

Back at the meeting, Harley has assigned his zombie trackers. Harley wants his people to capture zombies, starve them and then he can broadcast it on a live stream.

Ravi must stop the madness so he stands up and explains that capturing zombies is a very bad idea-one could get scratched and turned into one and start the Zombie Apocalypse. He covers by saying he is working on a zombie vaccine to stall for time.

Harley agrees to go ahead with the surveillance plan minus the capture! Good save Ravi!

Outside the meeting Ravi meets a cute girl, Rachel, who explains she is not so much a zombie hater-she’s just an artist who would love to photograph one. Then she gives him a ride on her motorcycle! Go Ravi…

Finally, the nerd setup we have been waiting for. A game of D and D is taking place until the dungeon master takes a sip from a chalice and chokes to death. Nerd brains for Liv! Not only that, the strange IT guy from a former episode is BACK! I hope he makes some regular cameos on the show.

On the way to the crime scene Ravi fills in Liv and Clive on the details of the meeting. Clive isn’t quite sure what dungeons and dragons is but seeing the game definitely takes Ravi down memory lane, although he denies is a bit.

“Do I look like a nerd?” -Ravi

Clive is introduced to other players and some happen to work at the station. Since the goth guy is from IT I am going to guess the others are as well.

 I am stereotyping here, I realize but I do know IT guys and the ones I know DO play Magic the Gathering every week.

Back at the lab, Liv cooks up a type of brain stew soufflé of some sort. It actually looks rather good!

After the stew kicks in Liv heads to the station to question the first suspect, Vampire Steve-our goth guy from earlier in the season. She is now starting to speak in story structure and rolling die to make decisions.

Clive explains to Vampire Steve that the victim, Master Dan was found to be into online poker which could be a motive for murder.

 Vamp Steve explains Dan did not talk about his wealth but did just purchase a high-priced nerd item. Join the club Dan! Ostensibly, he owned a rare piece of art but Vamp Steve has not seen it in a while.

Liv discovers the entire group was poisoned in the game last week-ironic since Dan was killed the same way. Liv and Vampire Steve have an off topic back and forth and Clive is noticeably confused and irritated. Sometimes I wonder if Clive feels like dealing with all of Liv’s crazy personalities are worth the trouble. Anyone else?

Suddenly, after rolling her die, Liv gets a vision of the night the group all died in the game and they were all rather distraught by the news. Next suspect to visit-Zoe, the token girl of the group.

Meanwhile, Blaine is reviewing Curly’s notes of his blue juice trip. The brains came from a World War II vet who happened to be a lady’s man so yes, Curly had the trip of his life.

“Boys, we’re gonna be rich!” -Blaine

Obviously, Don E does NOT want to be left out of the fun so he downs a rather generous slice of the blue juice brain while no one is looking.

Over at bro-mance land, Ravi discovers Major has found a giant stack of hate mail that he has been hiding from him back when he was the accused Chaos Killer. He finds him reading them in a depressed state.

“I may never be loved, or have sex again…” -Major (Major have you looked in the mirror lately)?

Ravi tries to get him to stop, but Major finds a letter from a girl named Shawna who supports him explaining she also had been accused of a crime she did not commit. She includes a picture and a phone number, but Major isn’t buying into it.

Over at Peyton’s office, she is still working on the Dom case from a few weeks ago. She is interviewing one of the victim’s psychiatrists who insists there is no way her client would be visiting a dominatrix.

Liv and Clive visit suspect, Zoe’s place of work at a comic book store where Clive reminisces about his comic book reading days. He loved The Flash! Suddenly, they spot the piece of art missing from Master Dan’s house, now for sale at Zoe’s work. The painting triggers a vision of Zoe in an erotic cosplay session with Dan.

Zoe explains the piece isn’t missing, she won it off Dan in a bet. Liv suggests that she possibly won it during the cosplay session. Zoe also informs them that another player, Jimmy had a thing for her and was possibly jealous because of a naughty text he spotted.

Liv and Clive haul in Jimmy who denies the crush at first until Clive brings out his sketchpad complete with naughty heroic sketches of not only him Zoe-but one of Liv too!

Clive wonders how far his obsession might take him but Jimmy suggests they take a look at another player, Diego’s back.

Diego gives up the goods but explains he regrets his ink foible and explains he’s actually not the obsessed one either. It’s Vampire Steve whom had the real issue. Evidently, Steve used to be just regular ol’ Steve but because of Zoe’s Twi-Hard status he became who is today-Vampire Steve. The guy we know and love!

So, they haul back in Vampire Steve who explains he did not become V Steve for Zoe. He came to Vampirism of his own accord, he claims, and that despite her tryst with Dan- he believes him and Zoe will be together one day. Clive is frustrated with the dead-end suspects. He suggests they do some more digging.

“On a quest!” -Liv

In order to speed up some visions, Liv hosts her own D and D game, as master of course, and I cannot even write about it. It is seriously one of the funniest scenes I have ever witnessed on this show and possibly even ever on any show. I would absolutely love to see the outtakes from this scene.

Liv is obviously taking the game very seriously, as is Ravi. Major and Peyton are more reluctant along with Clive-well, for a little while anyway-he eventually become a little TOO involved!

I mean, honestly there is nothing I can say-you just have to watch it for the genius of it!

It does, however, spark a vision for Liv where she discovers Master Dan has a secret room so after the all-nighter her and Clive go to check it out.

Clive is pretty proud of himself!

“Hey, maybe we could have a regular game!” -Clive

Liv and Clive find the secret room which turns out to be a computer geeks paradise. Clive makes another white people joke-my favorite thing he does!

Back at the station they bring Zoe in to discuss the secret room and the computer they found in there that had a connection to Russian power plants. But the interview is interrupted by Clive’s boss saying they are shutting down the case and handing it to the feds. Dan was a possible hacker attempting to infiltrate Russian computer systems, so it’s out of their hands now.

Suddenly, his boss mentions the case has gone to Dale Bozzio, Clive’s old flame from Season Two.

If you recall, Clive was never able to explain all the things he had to cover up one he discovered Liv was a zombie so he rushes out to find her. Cue the sad love music.

He does find her! Just in time!

“You were right about Major Lilywhite not being a Mass Murderer, turns out he was just a Mass Kidnapper!” -Dale

She asks him if he wants to communicate anything new to her and although I am sure he wants to, he understandably cannot.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about you, I’m absolutely lost without you…” -Clive

He asks her about the latest case and she tells him she can’t trust him. So, sad…

CUE SAD MUSIC

Back at Liv’s, she downs some army brain mush Major brings her to get rid of her personality so she can act normal for Justin at the fundraiser for Baracus.

Justin picks her up (looking pretty nice in a suit)!

Major seems slightly uncomfortable so he takes off home.

Back at The Scratching Post, Don E is having serious consequences to eating the large portion of the super charged brain! He’s trippin’ hard and he hauls ass out of the bar but no one cares enough to go after him. I find this wrong. When your friend is having a bad trip, everyone knows you are supposed to be there for them! Not that I have any personal experience…(clears throat).

Justin and Liv arrive at the Baracus event and Liv finally gets to meet Logan! I mean Chace Graves! The meeting is brief but I am definitely looking forward to more of him.

Peyton shows up explaining she came straight from work.

“Can you least pretend that this takes some effort?” Liv to Peyton.

Peyton grabs her boss, Baracus, to discuss the dom case but he wants, for obvious reasons, to let it go. Liv is there to give her the scoop on the real reason he wants her to let it go.

Meanwhile, at the lab, Ravi is working hard painting his D and D figure, when Harley arrives with an emergency.

He is all excited because he caught himself a real-life zombie! Not only that, the surveillance has led them to the existence of The Scratching Post and they figure Ravi has some tranquilizers to mellow out the captured zombie.

Guess who the zombie is??? His friends SUCK!

Back at Major’s place he is sulking on the couch, obviously depressed because he can’t be at the party protecting people like Justin and also just saw Liv leave with a date. Even “The Love Boat,” theme bums him out.

The Baracus party is still in full swing and Liv and Justin are about discussing going home for some sexy time! She points out Chace Graves to Justin and he confesses about him shooting him because of the missing cans of Max Rager on their wild night out. Liv is pissed and makes her way to confront him when abruptly -a mass shooting breaks out! Baracus freaks out and starts to turn into full on zombie mode but Liv talks him down.

All these big events, the helicopter crash and the shooting, have to be related and far too advanced for the likes of Harley and his inept crew! Does Fillmore Graves have something to do with it?

Back at sad Major-land, he appears to be getting ready for something and gives us this…

Thank you, Robert, director, camera man-whomever!

Of course, the girl from the letter, Shawna shows up and he lets her in.

Finally, Blaine pays a visit to his dad in the well…I was wrong! He did come back to feed him! Well, some scraps anyway! He even reads him the news…so sweet! Father and Son bonding time-iZombie style!

“That’s from an impotent proctologist, by the way…enjoy!” -Blaine          

“Don’t fear the Reaper,” plays as Blaine feels pleased with his new life.

Somewhere else...a car pulls up and guess who is back?

Mr. Boss.

Cannot wait to see how this plays out!

Episode 10/10 Best one of the Season and one of the best overall!

Here are some more pics from this episode-ENJOY!!!

#cw #cwtuesdays #izombiefansunite #iZombie #rosemciver #robthomas #robertbuckly #malcolmgoodwin #izombierecap #rahulkohli

[juliadgaddis]

The Trouble with Tabbies. And Wylla. And Bean

You guys, it's been crazy around here. It all started with two trips to the emergency vet and one to the HS vet with Beau and his mysterious Limping Kitten Syndrome. That was resolved, thankfully, but next, came rivers of diarrhea flowing from all of the Huddlestons.  I'll spare you the details, but it was pretty dang gross. I took the kittens to the Humane Society Vet on Tuesday, along with a couple of poo samples, and they came home with a de-wormer, Metronidonzal, probiotics, and a bag of sub-q fluids to start them down the road to recovery. That same afternoon, Craig was cleaning out Wylla and Charlene's litter box when he noticed a little blood on the surface of the litter. We didn't know who was responsible for leaving it but suspected it was Wylla because of her recent UTI. We called the vet and set an appointment for the next morning, then monitored the box just to be sure it was her. It was. Wednesday we brought Wylla in for her appointment, and a urinalysis revealed another UTI.  We got some antibiotics, booked her for a recheck, and I decided to also make an appointment for Charlene. Bean had been drinking a lot more water than usual and was using the box more frequently,  so I wanted to bring her in for a good once-over. The next day Charlene just wasn't acting herself. She seemed very sensitive and uncomfortable, so I called the vet to see if they could squeeze her in for an appointment.  When we took her in on Friday for the exam, they did a urinalysis, blood work, and an x-ray. The x-ray revealed that one of her kidneys was slightly enlarged and when the results from the urinalysis and blood work came back on Monday, our vet concluded that the likely cause of her discomfort was a kidney infection.  She's on antibiotics for a month, then we will go back for a recheck. The drugs seem to be working for both Wylla and Charlene, and I think they are feeling much better. Now, back to the Huddlestons: After a few days on the meds, I didn't really see much improvement with the kittens. They were acting normal, eating fine, playing as they should, but things weren't thickening up in the litter box. On Friday night, Beau's energy level was noticeably lower than the rest of the kittens and his diarrhea was even worse than before.  I upped his sub-q fluids to twice a day to try to keep him hydrated, and I also started syringe feeding him to give him a few extra calories. Things didn't improve Saturday, and he was starting to feel a little too scrawny, so Sunday morning I headed out to the emergency vet with the tiny guy. They gave us a different antibiotic to try and said to continue with fluids and syringe feeding to sustain him while we wait for the medicine to kick in. Yesterday, everyone went back to the HS vet, and we came home with more new drugs to try, special food, and a different probiotic. Our fridge looks like a pharmacy! We're not through all of this yet, but Beau did seem perkier this morning. Things were looking a little better in the box for all,  so hopefully, the new meds are doing the trick. We'll get through all of this, I'm confident. Sometimes, it just takes a while with diarrhea and little kittens -- you just have to keep trying different drugs until you find the one that works.  And until then, you just make sure they're getting the calories they need and that they are staying hydrated  -- and that's exactly what we're doing. Today day marks two weeks since these cuties moved in, which is normally when quarantine is up, but until they get over their bug, we will keep them separated from the big cats. Hopefully, before this week is out, we will be able to spring them! Fingers are crossed. from The Itty Bitty Kitty Committee http://www.theittybittykittycommittee.com/2017/03/the-trouble-with-tabbies-and-wylla-and.html

[juliadgaddis]

The Trouble with Tabblies. And Wylla. And Bean.

You guys, it's been crazy around here. It all started with two trips to the emergency vet and one to the HS vet with Beau and his mysterious Limping Kitten Syndrome. That was resolved, thankfully, but next, came rivers of diarrhea flowing from all of the Huddlestons.  I'll spare you the details, but it was pretty dang gross. I took the kittens to the Humane Society Vet on Tuesday, along with a couple of poo samples, and they came home with a de-wormer, Metronidonzal, probiotics, and a bag of sub-q fluids to start them down the road to recovery. That same afternoon, Craig was cleaning out Wylla and Charlene's litter box when he noticed a little blood on the surface of the litter. We didn't know who was responsible for leaving it but suspected it was Wylla because of her recent UTI. We called the vet and set an appointment for the next morning, then monitored the box just to be sure it was her. It was. Wednesday we brought Wylla in for her appointment, and a urinalysis revealed another UTI.  We got some antibiotics, booked her for a recheck, and I decided to also make an appointment for Charlene. Bean had been drinking a lot more water than usual and was using the box more frequently,  so I wanted to bring her in for a good once-over. The next day Charlene just wasn't acting herself. She seemed very sensitive and uncomfortable, so I called the vet to see if they could squeeze her in for an appointment.  When we took her in on Friday for the exam, they did a urinalysis, blood work, and an x-ray. The x-ray revealed that one of her kidneys was slightly enlarged and when the results from the urinalysis and blood work came back on Monday, our vet concluded that the likely cause of her discomfort was a kidney infection.  She's on antibiotics for a month, then we will go back for a recheck. The drugs seem to be working for both Wylla and Charlene, and I think they are feeling much better. Now, back to the Huddlestons: After a few days on the meds, I didn't really see much improvement with the kittens. They were acting normal, eating fine, playing as they should, but things weren't thickening up in the litter box. On Friday night, Beau's energy level was noticeably lower than the rest of the kittens and his diarrhea was even worse than before.  I upped his sub-q fluids to twice a day to try to keep him hydrated, and I also started syringe feeding him to give him a few extra calories. Things didn't improve Saturday, and he was starting to feel a little too scrawny, so Sunday morning I headed out to the emergency vet with the tiny guy. They gave us a different antibiotic to try and said to continue with fluids and syringe feeding to sustain him while we wait for the medicine to kick in. Yesterday, everyone went back to the HS vet, and we came home with more new drugs to try, special food, and a different probiotic. Our fridge looks like a pharmacy! We're not through all of this yet, but Beau did seem perkier this morning. Things were looking a little better in the box for all,  so hopefully, the new meds are doing the trick. We'll get through all of this, I'm confident. Sometimes, it just takes a while with diarrhea and little kittens -- you just have to keep trying different drugs until you find the one that works.  And until then, you just make sure they're getting the calories they need and that they are staying hydrated  -- and that's exactly what we're doing. Today day marks two weeks since these cuties moved in, which is normally when quarantine is up, but until they get over their bug, we will keep them separated from the big cats. Hopefully, before this week is out, we will be able to spring them! Fingers are crossed. from The Itty Bitty Kitty Committee http://www.theittybittykittycommittee.com/2017/03/the-trouble-with-tabblies-and-wylla-and.html