#guess i'll be the first

[isthisyoursnack]

#cookie mueller #does love kill #no one dies from love #guess i'll be the first

[chaotic-demonboy]

I miss all the cool things we’d do

But what I miss the most is watchin' movies with you

Tove Lo - No one dies from love

#tove lo #no one dies from love #lyrics #guess i'll be the first #heartbrek

[shivering-teeth]

#musicoftheday #NO ONE DIES FROM LOVE #GUESS I'LL BE THE FIRST #WILL YOU REMEMBER US #OR ARE THE MEMORIES TOO STAINED WITH BLOOD NOW

[inkskinned]

before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.

you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"

and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.

it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.

you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.

in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.

the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.

you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.

after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.

the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.

you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.

#warm up #writeblr #this is also about being ace btw #my identity has slowly shifted over time and maybe if everyone is REAL cool i'll talk bout it #bc it's complicated and nuanced. but this is like #trying to warn u that if you find it “relationship upkeep” to have sex with ur partner #and don't actually enjoy it or seek it for urself. u might just not be attracted to them. #which is fine ! ace ppl can be perfectly happy in any relationship they feel good in! #but also i wasn't as straight as i had expected! #> the first time i saw dick i was like. huh. oh okay that's fine i guess #> the first time i saw pussy i was like. WAIT ACTUALLY HANG ON I GET IT #i just assumed sex wasn't all it was cracked up to be ya know #but also like. btw? this IS NOT saying ''u might be gay not ace'' #bc tbh i'm grey ace/demisexual #it's saying u might not be into ur partner. explore urself & ur feelings. turn inward. #TAKE THIS IN THE MANNER IT WAS MEANT> GENTLE AND KIND #AND NOT IN A WEIRD INTERNET WAY PLEASE #bc the truth is that there ARE ppl who are gay who assume that they just ''don't like'' sex #and ace ppl who might need a different partner w/different needs #and i would have REALLY needed to hear ''check in w/urself about if u actually like sex'' #WAY EARILIER in my life. but nobody said anything bc they assume if ur having sex. u like it. #not just the actual act of sex. not once ur turned on. do you ACTUALLY like it. or is it a burden? #even if ur gay. check w/urself. maybe ur more ace than u realized. in which case. ADDITIONAL FLAG BB #i love collecting my flags. i'm at like 354 at this point #but also btw this is about how toxic relationships are SO normalized that u can be in one #and have everyone around u being like ''THATS JUST MEN LOL''

[expelliarmus]

#mine #doctor who #dwedit #david tennant #catherine tate #jodie whittaker #billie piper #elisabeth sladen #mandip gill #sophie aldred #janet fielding #bonnie langford #dw spoilers #ok while i was making this i started second guessing myself if i should even post it lol #because i know i'll start seeing lots of 'BUT WHERE IS _____' comments #but oh well i'm sending it out!!!! #i was only aiming for the scenes where they said something along the lines of 'i used to be like you' ok!! #i thought about adding in when donna met martha for the first time too #but it didn't really fit with the classic companions you know... #ok i should probably wind down for the night lol #good night friends!!!! #i will be thinking about dw all day at work tomorrow!!!!

[saints-of-graves]

warmup doodle that ended up looking better than the actual thing its a warmup for im goign to cry

#art on main jumpscare #its 2am rn i have school tmr but who cares guess i'll die #gabv1el #gabriel ultrakill #ultrakill #feesh finally draws something #I BROKE THE CURSE IT LOOKS WAY BETTER THAN THE FIRST TIME I DREW HIM YAYYYYYY

[ohmycuckoo]

My TSC bingo card includes lots of angst, emo Jean, PTSD, "I have no idea who I am", Jean crying on the beach at night and me crying and losing my shit while I read everything.

#I guess I'll be drawing my angsty boy multiple times until TSC comes out #happy? tsc week #jean moreau #tsc #Jean Moreau you’re such and emo kid #I don't expect even a second of happiness for him in the first book #jean moreau fanart #the sunshine court #aftg #aftg fandom #aftg fanart #aftg art #jerejean #jerejean fanart

[skellagirl]

Gordon/Barney/Alyx is really really funny to me conceptually bc it's like, two hot geniuses in their 20s who look at the 40-something smartass who hangs around and go 'yeah that guy. we both want him carnally'

#and they're SO right #half life #half life 2 #gordon freeman #alyx vance #barney calhoun #freemance #valhoun #freehounce #idk what the hell their poly ship name is sorry lol #(me. posting about a ship with an age gap on the 'can't be normal about age gap ships' website: #SURE HOPE THERE ISN'T ANY AGE GAP DISCOURSE IN HERE) #this was the first time I've drawn any of these characters in LITERAL YEARS and. wow........ #feels so crazy that this was the fandom that got me to join tumblr in the first place (in 2011!!!!) and I used to draw them ALL THE TIME #interests change I guess #but I think I'll always come back to hl and portal occasionally. they're too much a part of my dna at this point LOL #my art #description in alt text #oh my god I just went back through my half life tag and the last time I drew these three was when I drew that freehounce meme LMAOOO #how serendipitious

[turrondeluxe]

Aren't you tired of being silly?

Don't you wanna go apeshit?

#the first thing i draw in days and is angry as fuck mikey #LET THIS GUY BE ANGRY AS FUCK PLEASE #alsoi think itd be funny if he was the first one to curse #raph would be so angry lmao #i'll answer other asks soon i just haven't been feeling very motivated lately lol #tmnt #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2k12 #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt mikey #tmnt 2012 michelangelo #tmnt 2012 mikey #my art #doodles #eye strain #i guess? its not for me but ive been told my color palette its pretty eye strainy lmao

[mi-spark]

happy anniversary to explorers of sky!! i wanted to finally finish up this old wip to celebrate.

it’s based off a little headcanon i have where the partner remembers where they came across the relic fragment (rather than the extent of their memory being that they “happened to pick it up” somewhere they can’t recall)– it had washed up to them at the very same beach they met the hero on. the fragment/hidden land seem to have a strong connection to the ocean sooo it made sense to me. the rock that began it all

#pokemon #pokémon #mystery dungeon #explorers of sky #vulpix #bubbles (explorers) #beach #ocean #fanart #myart #the file name is 'magical beach of destiny' #this piece had several other color comps so i guess i'll just have to draw this beach 28 more times #also by 'old' wip. i mean literally 2 years old #but it's changed a lot and i like it much better than the first version

[teachiisan]

Redraw from :

Genderbend Steve x Alex redraw

#i was about to draw Genderbend Steve with long hair (wolf cut style) but i dont know how to feel about it #so i asked my followers on insta if they prefer short hair or longer hair #the first one got the most voted so im like. ok. guess i'll draw GB steve more in shorter hair from now #i cringed so hard while drawing shirtless female Steve that i slammed my fucking desk everytime i saw it #but it was worth it #minecraft #minecraftart #minecraft art #minecraftfanart #minecraft fanart #mineblr #art #fanart #doodle #artwork #minecraftsteve #minecraftalex #minecraft steve #minecraft alex #steve minecraft #alex minecraft #steve #alex #steve x alex #alex x steve #san art #san doodles

[starpirateee]

Okay, so, I am genuinely convinced that there is a hatchetfield fan for every background character conceivable. and I wanna put this to the test. So! if you see this please do tell me your more obscure/background faves, I genuinely need to know whether I'm right in thinking there's a fan for every background character

#starkid #hatchetfield #void offering #i guess i'll go first? #xander lee totally counts and i love him a lot #sir that's my emotional support matrix extra #also kyle clauger my love #also skud and gary goldstein too fr

[sunkissedlouis]

stunning louis during back to you | faith in the future world tour in jakarta 01.24.24

#louis #louis tomlinson #fitfwt jakarta #my show #*gifs #*mine #first time making gifs out of my own fancams hdjsjsn #can't upload the videos on here idk tumblr hates me i guess sjkds #i'll just make gifs out of them #hldaily #dailytomlinson #louisupdates #tomlinsonedits #hlcreators #usertomlinsonsource #louis gifs #louis tomlinson gifs #my video

[humming-fly]

Happy to report I have finally started listening to Malevolent and to no one's surprise I am already obsessed (I'm almost done with s2 atm please don't send me spoilers yet sdlkfj)

I'll skip over my usual formality of having one normal art post before diving into shitposts let's not waste anyone's time here

#to no one's surprise the body-sharing eldrich horror buddy comedy is right up my alley #this one's been on my 'to listen' list for a long while but the stars finally aligned to make it happen #okay time to figure out how to tag this uhhh #malevolent #malevolent podcast #arthur lester #john doe #i will probably change how i draw arthur a Lot as this goes on lol but enjoy these early drafts #unlike him I had a good idea how I wanted to draw john from the get-go #though the scrawling chaotic scribbles are actually a bit tedious to do in cleaner art #the pencil comic at the end is about the easiest way to do it he's just a bit more formless there #which is only really confusing when I also want to draw the hand like in the first shitpost #if i draw anything for s2 i'll update him a wee bit though probably pretty easy to guess what #i'll be playin with it i'm sure #idfk what tags people use for these i'm not allowed to search the tag till i'm caught up #so for now these'll work! #shorthand i'll probs just use #mp #pretty sure i haven't used that before #probably #my art #doodles #comic

[0046incognito]

hibiki awesome violence montage

#my art #original character #character design #oc #robot oc #cartoon #animation #<-technically #original animation #indie animation #original art #art #fake screencap #fake screenshot #y2k #cmy2k #hibiki himura #sawyer #carmine #can U guess who the first robot he's fighting is i'll give you a hint it's kasane teto LOL #but i'm not gonna tag her cuz it's like. an expy cameo it doesn't count

[lunarin64art]

That feeling when he can't stand to see you that way, no matter what you do, no matter what you say😩😭💔

#scott pilgrims precious little life #scott pilgrim vs the world #spvtw #spto #scott pilgrim #wallace wells #lisa miller #scollace #kim pine #natalie adams #envy adams #don't rlly know if I like how this turned out but oh well;;; #hope its obvious that this is based on the song “Scott Pilgrim” which the creation the comics were inspired from #the lyrics always make me think of Wallace and Lisa's feelings for Scott every time I hear it #ofc you could also relate it to Kim especially since the singers voice kind of reminds me of her #but overall the lyrics fit these two much better since Scott never truly “saw them that way” despite how long they've liked him #and they always seem happier to see him compared to Kim #Im surprised tho that I havent yet seen anyone draw these two together now that their dialogue parallels have been acknowledged more lately #also tho I wish more people pointed out that they both got cucked by red heads LOL #and Kim and Envy actually do look really similar when scott first meets them #makes me wonder if Scott subconsciously went for Envy since she reminded him of Kim (which would be fitting given that you could argue that #Envy dated Scott because he reminded her of Todd. Since he and Scott are confirmed to be meant to be seen as similar to one another #so much so that even their first and last names rhyme #last thing I'll add tho is that while Wallace and Lisa are very similar even personality wise #the one big difference is that despite that whole conclusion on vol4 of Scott not cheating on Ramona with Lisa because he loves her #the writers apparently think it would be “organically correct” for him to have an affair with wallace LMAO #but I guess we shouldn't be surprised since Wallace and Ramona are both in the front of the official valentines art which is clearly #a deptiction of Scotts wet dream or smth (oh and you could also argue that Wallace and Lisa parallel on that art since they're both #shirtless with white socks.. which could be a reference to how lisa wears skimpy clothes for Scott and Wallace often only wears boxers #to like sexually frustrate Scott for fun or smth