#going on after a death

[remembertheplunge]

My sister Zoe's journal entry re: my partner Jim's death

I am now on the couch in Atwater watching Big Love and tired of watching TV with Mom because she is drunk and tired and cannot follow the plot. She wanders off. I wait. Wait. Explain. Explain.

I’d like to finish it. (watching the show)

What a long, long day.

I cannot believe Jim is gone. 

So this is family. He drove me nuts, but, I never wanted this. His empty spot.

He will not be working in his gardens, hunting for treasures at yard sales, going to the farmer’s market. Demanding Lew love only Jim. 

He was a solar eclipse. He came along and Lew disappeared to me.

The distance so far I had decided not to attend another Thanksgiving. I wanted out of this family, perhaps all families. I’d just have animals and books. People are tiring me out.

Oh Jim, I did not want this. You had such a strong life force. You died because of a faulty part. Otherwise, you were fine. But, that is how frail bodies are.

To see you in bed in the living room, (awake) a wake. I thought I saw your left eye move. Just for a second

 When I first entered the room, the house told the story that things had changed.

Housework had fallen far behind.

The look of disease, narrowing of hallways with book cases, one bed five feet deep in clothes. 

Wine glasses tucked into book cases and on tables  all around Jim in the house.

I felt ill, not sure if I was going to cry or throw up.

While we were there, lividity set into his yellow, jaundiced skin. 

He was quiet and still. So unlike Jim who was not quiet or still.

I am wondering how Lew will go on?

They had their jobs to do, how will Lew go on without Jim?

I guess he just will.

As do all widows and widowers.

Life keeps coming at you.

At Lew’s for Jim: (People who attended Jim’s wake)

Jim’s friend from Oakland, a blonde. We hung a butterfly flag for Jim.

A neighbor who is a nurse

A lawyer who lived in San Diego

Another lawyer took Lew’s cases today

Many phone calls

Mom and I brought 2 bottles of wine and yellow Calla Lilies, a beautiful plant.

Jim’s gone and I cannot believe it.

Yet, he is gone.

End of entry

Note:

After my partner Jim died in our house on 9/09/2009, I kept his body for a day and threw a wake party. A lot of people came including my sister Zoe and my mother. Two of my lawyer friends helped me bath Jim and dress him. He had gone into full rigor mortis, meaning his body was stiff or stone like. That’s what my sister was referring to in her journal entry above when she wrote about lividity.

I brought my sister’s journals back with me after she died in May 2023. I didn’t know she kept journals until just before she died. My law practice has kept me busy since then. I have not had a chance to look at her journals until now.

I had never read the above entry until today. I had no idea it existed. As I was typing it for the blog, although I’d read some of the initial sentences earlier, I had not read the whole entry. I was thus like you, new to it..

I’m amazed to see Jim’s death through her eyes. The journal allowed this miracle to happen.

#9/09/2009 #partner's death #sister's journal #seeing my partner's death through my sister's eyes #gay widow/widower #journaling #writing #daughter and mother #mourning #grieving #death denil #going on after a death

[1eos]

the glorification of your 20s and fear of anything else has got to stop. mainly bc your 20s is quite literally the worst decade of your life the idea that ppl think you peak at 25 has me so sad for them

#in your twenties everything starts to go wrong and you have no experience yet so it's just #ego death after ego death #no way ppl think it's all down hill from here like how BLEAK

[saltpepperbeard]

going fucking bonkers going bananas going INSANE [x]

#OFMD #Our Flag Means Death #OFMD Season 2 #OFMD S2 Spoilers #Taika Waititi #Rhys Darby #Gentlebeard #Blackbonnet #Edward Teach #Stede Bonnet #Edit #I AM TREMBLING #SHAKING SO SO HARD #HOW DARE THEY DO THIS #I FEEL LIKE I'M GOING TO PASS OUT LMAO #THIS IS TOO MUCH TO PROCESS AFTER YESTERDAY #GOD!!!!!!!!!! #THAT LAST GIF TOO LIKE #GOD HDFJKDHLJKDHGLJKDHGLDKG

[ruporas]

kiss of the divine

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #ruporas art #i will always love u vol 8… Obviously i was a vw lover even thru stampede alone but i think this chapter #really set it in stone for me 😭 aughhh wolfwood pleading to god and vash answers - that allll transpiring after wolfwood risked his life #to go Save vash in the first place - he fears death twice as much as anyone else. he is all the reason i need to fight #LIKEEEEE 🥲🥲🥲🥲 I drew this because i wanted them to kiss in my fucked up idealized world but truly canon did crazy work #in establishing their undeniable mutual trust and love already

[canisalbus]

If only Machete wasn't so distinctly white and waifish. Otherwise one could possibly use a lookalike to fake his death and just run away with vasco. But finding someone that resembles machete would be almost as hard as making the choice to end a life to save your own.

.

#🤔 #I've never faked my death so I wouldn't know #but wouldn't ensuring that the body isn't 100% identifiable be the first step in tackling that issue #make it seem that it's most likely you but no one can tell for sure #it's not like they had dental records and dna testing in the late 1500's #sorry this got a little morbid I just started to think about the logistics #answered #anonymous #that isn't a bad idea actually #they aren't going to come after him later if they think he's dead

[egophiliac]

don't think I'm not still deep in the episode 7 brainrot. because OH BOY AM I

(also one more extremely, obnoxiously self-referential thing, I'm -- I'm so sorry)

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 part 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 #twisted wonderland book 7 part 7 spoilers #and so ends the saga #(this time for real i promise) #malleus post-episode 7: shroud...i should have heeded your warnings...now tell me more about how i may hunt this elusive 'snipe' #alas poor puppies :( i'm glad they had a little aside about how they can fix them after this whole mess #let ortho have his dogs! #man i love that this has come down to malleus vs technology though #MY FAVORITE #ortho: you can destroy the shell that links me to this mortal world...but can you select the CORRECT DOWNLOAD LINK??? #malleus: (downloads a billion viruses and dies instantly) #also i'm probably the only one who thinks idia complaining about his own mental tartarus prison is funny #but there we go #idia has two modes and two modes only #he's either in the middle of a metaphor where he finally forgives himself for his brother's death and takes charge of his own destiny #or he's like 'fuck yeah i'm about to get isekai'd into the internet! (immediately falls over making dying whale sounds)' #wait no he has a third mode: actively suffocating because silver and sebek won't stop squishing him #look he's just delightful no matter what's going on okay

[scatterbrainedbot]

cass, a professional: order of badass donbot, extra dramatic entrance!

me, nodding, banned from most kitchens: leo drama and angst, heard chef!

(shoutout to @somerandomdudelmao for yet again making feel emotions i cannot fully explain)

#my art #cass apocalyptic series #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #future leo #future donnie #this is super rough and sketchy cos dude i RAN after reading that update #spectacular donbot design of course #but also #bro this circular timetravel shit has got me Feeling Emotions #like #leo stood in that room and wept and BEGGED for some echo of his brother #some proof that even in death #he wouldnt leave them alone #that he was as unwilling to fade from them as they were to let him go #the man had failsafes for failsafes on top of failsafes #plans ontop of plans; surely hed planned something for this? #and heres the thing #donnie did #he built this machine #to house his spirit and allow him to be with his family #but when leo asked for it #the room was already empty #idk its really hard to articulate #you can fix the past but the past still happened #you relieved the grief but you still had to go through it #schrodiners cat but sadder #he is dead and alive all at once but always gone from you #donnie will never be there (with you then) because he has always been here (with you now) #IDK BRO TIME TRAVEL MAKES FOR FUN CIRCULAR LOOPS

[spectral-honey]

AU where Jason gets his revenge by becoming a lawyer and getting joker sentenced to the death penalty

Bruce is conflicted about it but any time he tries to say anything on the subject Alfred just talks over him like "oh we're so proud of you master Jason you finished college and you didn't even use your father's extensive resources that could've easily gotten someone in this family a degree aren't we so proud master Bruce that Jason got himself a respectable profession--"

#jason todd #red hood #batfam #i also think it would be funny if thats literally the only thing jason does as a lawyer after that he just goes back to being a vigilante #everyone on the internet is like 'the iconic career of jason todd wayne: came back from the dead got a college degree got the joker- #-sentenced to death (finally) and then immediately fucked off to do whatever the hell it is he does for fun' #any time bruce and jason disagree jasons like 'excuse me which one of us is the college drop out and which of us is a practicing attorney?' #alfred 'you could have been a doctor but you became a furry themed vigilante instead' will never let this go #also btw jason just stole reasources from the league to get thru college. maybe at first talia was like what & then jason was like #'my alternate plan was to either get bruce to kill the joker or kill all three of us in an explosion' and talia is like #'okay. have fun at school sweetie' #BTW AN EDIT: this post is not reflective of my IRL beliefs about the criminal justice system or the death penalty #IRL those are way more complicated than gotham city/the joker/jason make it out to be #saw a few people tagging this post mentioning stuff about that

[slymanner]

hurt my heart why dontcha.

#adventure time #fionna and cake #fionna and cake spoilers #simon petrikov #BMO #this is seriously fucked up u cant do this to me im so sadSNSSN #IMAGINE BEING BMO #just one day finn and jake say they'll brb and they're going on a important mission... #and BMO after this and them being gone for awhile just see's the world go into peril #death everywhere. no sign of his friends expect remnant's of the past.. #and the only survivor is them... #no other's expect the thing who released hell upon this once lively and colorful world in the first place. #and BMO just accept's this...tells themselves that they're still around...cosplay's as they're old friend's...this is fucked up #in the current timeline all his friend's are gone to natural circumstances. #but for this one? it was too early. too sudden. atleast in this one BMO will remember they're name's but...man. #this poor lil robo cant get a BREAK. #AND THEY FUCKING DIE IN SACRIFICE AT THE END TOO SHUTUPPPDPDPDPD #and the fact BMO also consider's “jerry” a friend...not knowing...that the same person caused all this. #this is...SO FUCKED UP #WHY MUST THE SHOW WRITERS DO THIS TO MY HEART.

[astraystayyh]

IDF HAS REQUESTED PALESTINIANS IN RAFAH TO EVACUATE BECAUSE THEY ARE STARTING TO ATTACK THE SUPPOSEDLY “SAFE ZONE” IN GAZA. PLEASE KEEP YOUR EYES ON RAFAH

#this happening a day after Israel closed all of Al Jazeera’s headquarters in Gaza #and on the metgala when they know that everyone’s attention will be on the met #this is sickening where are all these people supposed to go #how much more death and despair and mental torture can palestinians take #how much longer can world leaders turn a blind eye to this genocide #free palestine #palestine #free gaza #gaza #rafah

[unhingedpirates]

Ofmd fandom waiting for pride month:

(Whatever happens I'm ready)

#ofmd #our flag means death #pride month #after what happened last year i'm like 80% sure they're going to give us a date and maybe a poster #sorry for the misspell. just noticed #my garbage

[quantumshade]

girls when. figurative death in doctor who. lost to a parallel world. memory erased. stuck in another time period. in between one heartbeat and the next.

#bill also has a figurative death but it works a little differently than the others. #because she's Still There after her death. she holds on. and then becomes something new #also clara's is the most literal & i wholly believe she does go back to die on trap street #doctor who #delia.txt #i have more that i will add on to this post

[tubbytarchia]

I don't know what this is all I know is that LimL Joel makes me really emotional

#I know he has a tendency to go deranged on his red lives but idk something about him beginning to lose it after Jimmy died and killing Grian #joel smallishbeans #smallishbeans fanart #trafficblr #Again its his red life shenanigans but... If only Jimmy had known how affected someone was by his death. I'm choosing to believe this #and him then going out like a sad pathetic wet cat even with Grian's sacrifice... He really deserves a win one of these days lmao please #Also I cant stop thinking about how Jimmy wouldn't have left him. Grian was sensible to and most players probs would have #Joel really does become a lost cause so its fair and Grian did still care (and went to say goodbye as well as sacrifice his time for him) #But Jimmy would have stuck by even if Joel were in this state (and they'd both get themselves killed pathetically but) #And Joel having shown such genuine care for Jimmy and concern over his limited time... man anything w Jimmy makes me so emotional lol #I love them so #oh Ig about the art itself. I dont like it but hey thats how it tends to go when you try smth new. And no shame in trying #but if one person likes this then yayy I will still feel accomplished and happy #Im looking at this again and hey its not that bad actually yay I love to approve of my own art. self love hell yea #tubby art

[notdysfunk]

Can I go down the slide?

(yes, once)

.💥💥💥 /ref

#that stupid video has me in a death grip #how did bro fuck up going down a slide that badly #love him for it #so i drew sun eating the ground after #trying #to go down a slide #sundrop #sundropfnaf #fnaf sun #sunfnaf #moondrop #daycare attendant #moondropfnaf #fnaf moon #moonfnaf #fnafmoon #my art

[bizarrelittlemew]

calling it right now that season 3 starts like this

#so confused about people saying the season finale feels like the end because to me it didn't at all #there's like 5-10 issues immediately set up for another season #they're in a happy place at this point because they've both realized their love is bigger than anything else #and makes it worth working on their problems together #the problems are still very much there #both of them have deep self esteem/self loathing issues that haven't been resolved in the week since ed woke up #ed doesn't know about stede's trauma #they haven't talked through anything #and they'll be shit at starting/running an inn lmao it's not gonna go well #and those are just some of the internal issues #then there's prince ricky and all the authorities that would very much like to get their hands on both blackbeard and stede bonnet #because stede just full-on kept using his government name after faking his death. nice one #the crew are not “gone” they're more like off to college for a bit but will probably run into trouble immediately #again because while they escaped to the ship they didn't eliminate the threat (the british empire) #it's not a forever goodbye #ok this got super long already anyway i have a whole fic marinading in my brain until i've finished these 4 wips i'm in the middle of ✌️ #hope we get a renewal soon because i want to see the rest of their story!! #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd s2 #ofmd #our flag means death

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 292

“Oh I am blaming all of this on you T,” one of the beings in the summoning circle groans, burying their corpse-pale head in clawed hands as their white hair flickered. 

“Me? Excuse me, I wasn’t the one to accept the summoning!” another being protested, hood hiding most of their face save for molten-gold eyes and glittering runes or code on dark blue skin. “I was trying to figure out how to convince PK to change our schedule to include more sleeping, so don’t look at me, look at S!” 

“Well I didn’t accept it,” the only girl-sounding one scoffed, her crown of thorns seeming to writhe and bloom in her black hair for a moment. She crossed her arms, narrowing green eyes just a few shades darker than the white-haired one. “Maybe talk to whoever decided to summon us?” 

All of the sudden the cultists and heroes were being peered down at by a trio of… honestly whatever they were, because they didn’t seem to be the “Infinite King” the cult had been attempting to summon. Actually, they kind-of-maybe looked like kids… Which probably meant their parents or caretakers wouldn’t be too pleased. 

#DCxDP #DPxDC #Prompts #Halfa Trio #They all go by Phantom lol #Space Core Danny #Life Core Sam #Storm Core Tucker #They’re all technically princes/princesses of the Realms thx to Pariah thinking they’re adorable lil violent ankle biters #Who practically tried to gnaw him to death & are just lil ghostlings not even 10 years old yet #Clockwork technically adopted them first #They made a deal with PK that they visit daily & he puts Amity Park BACK #Even if everyone is now ecto-contaminated from being in the Realms for a solid several hours or so #Honestly they’re getting way more sleep than they would if just one of them were halfas because they can take turns on night duty #Though yes they all have their own Dan equivalent #And I have no clue what happened with the clones besides Dani but she’s now all of their baby sister #She’s with the Yetis gettin medical care hence why she didn’t also get summoned #Fright Knight is their main teacher & they're going to have to fight to not have him assigned as their bodyguard after this summoning bs