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jupitermelichios · 8 months

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so this is, as far as anyone can tell, not a joke. this is an actual list an alt right dipshit gamerTM made of 'conservative core' games and posted on a 4chan clone, and it's the greatest self own I've seen online in a while. guy is just out here boasting about his own lack of media literacy

I'll put the full list below a cut for anyone who wants it, but i just want to highlight a extra few special entries here first (minor content warning for mention of forced pregnancy, nothing explicit):

Toho Project: it's almost certainly on here because it contains anime waifus, but I've literally never met a toho fan who wasn't trans. technically i guess cis toho fans exist, but they're definitely not the ones keeping the franchise afloat

The 3 different Warhammer 40k games: 40k was created as a critique of reactionary conservatism generally, and margaret thatcher specifically.

Doom: just gonna quote the creator of doom here. "Trans rights are human rights, important rights, critical rights and society needs to do more to make this the case for everyone."

Sniper Elite: this is a game about shooting nazis in the balls. literally, that is the game. there are nazis, you shoot them. usually in the balls. that feels like a pretty firmly anti-nazi stance to me, idk

Persona 4: this game is about how conservative japanese society mistreats teenagers and denies them physical and emotional agency. gonna go out on a limb and guess it's on here because dipshit fancies one of the female characters

Silent Hill 3: silent hill three is about a teenage girl who is impregnated against her will and desperately wants to not be pregnant but a powerful religious organisation tries to force her to carry the baby to term and as a direct result the world nearly ends. in one of the endings, it does end. because of the lack of an abortion. i cannot believe the game about the importance of reproductive rights isn't even the stupidest entry on this list

Fallout 3: it is, granted,one of the less political fallouts. it's still a game about how the U.S. gonvernment destroyed the entire world by declaring war on china and then nuking the planet, and also about how unchecked capitalism and the replacing the social safety net with corporations will inevitably lead to those corporations abusing people, and how that is very bad actually.

Bioshock: literally the first thing that happens in this game is you are told libertarianism is a stupid ideology that will always fail and ayn rand was a moron. and then the game goes on telling you that. at length. in a variety of creative ways. for the next 15 hours.

Metro Last Light: see fallout, this is a game about war-hungry governments who don't give a shit about their people end up nuking the planet and nearly wiping out all life.

and finally, to end on the highest possible note:

Metal Gear Rising Revengence: not only is this an entry in a franchise which is entirely and exclusively about how awful the military industrial complex is, this game specifically is about a soldier who was abused by the military killing the president of the united states because his use of private military corporations to fight wars is morally indefensible. literally. that's the plot. it's entirely possible raiden just says those words in that order out loud in the game because hideo kojima knows writers who use subtext and they're all cowards.

anyway, the alt right are fucking morons and media studies needs to be a compulsory subject in every school on the planet.

full list below the cut:

Toho Project

Warhammer 40k: Darktide

Doom

Zelda: Ocarina of Time

Sniper Elite

Mortal Kombat

Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

Persona 4

Rimworld

Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind

Quake

Silent Hill 3

Resident Evil: Parasite Eve

007: Goldeneye

Perfect Dark

Battlefield 4

Dino Crisis

Fallout 3

Counter Strike: Global Offensive

Arma III

Squad (no, I don't know what this one is either, it appears to just be called squad? it looks like a rainbox six knock off)

Ready or Not (disappointingly, this looks like a Call of Duty knockoff and not a game based on the film ready or not, which is about killing the 1% with a machete)

Company of Heroes

Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare

Devil May Cry 2

Fire Emblem: the Three Houses

Megaman Zero

STALKER: Shadow of Chernobyl

Bioshock

Halo 2

Battlefield 3

Call of Duty: Black Ops

Warhammer 40k: Dawn of War

Ninja Gaiden II

Metro: Last Light

Warhammer 40k: Space Marine (fun fact, at the end of this game your character gets executed for heresy because they saved lives, but i'm sure that's not commentary on anything at all)

Killzone 2

Dead or Alive: X-Treme Beach Volleyball 2

God of War (the original, not the Dad of Boy reboot)

Metal Gear Rising Revengence

#gamers TM #people it's okay to point and laugh at a little bit #at this point the only way to tell the genuine gamer TM lists from the parodies is whether spec ops is on there #(if it is the list is a parody not even the gamers TM are quite stupid enough to claim the bush is a war criminal game is republican)#i will concieve metal gear isn't only about the military industrial complex #it's also 5% about how much kojima loves depeche mode #also i want to hear the explanation for how morrowind is conservative #'don't let random dipshits use the heart of a dead god to give themselves superpowers' feels pretty apolitical to me idk #i would hope that's a message we could all agree on #i will give them goldeneye #not because of anything that happens in the game #but because there's 0 chance bond doesn't vote tory #also why parasite eve #RE 5 is right there #i don't think i've ever seen parasite eve on any list of games before

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majimassqueaktoy · 1 year

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No offense but they need to give every man in this series a little kid that follows them around like a lost duckling. Especially Ichiban.

#like its so cliched ~The single tough macho guy who softens up for a kid~#BUT ITS 10/10 #i love havin a lil guy follow me around!!#i love my baby haruka and my baby Jun #Imagine how cute Ichiban would be with a kid 🥹#make them really small eve like TINY #and then the Ichigang can take turns holding them during fights and stuff #Joon-gi can carry em in his big giant jacket #Nanba can act cool toward the kid at first but then be real soft #Adachi just grandpa mode #Aunty Saeko sneakin em chocolate milk #anyway i got sidetracked just thinkin of scenarios #GOD ZHAO #Zhao making fancy little dishes for em #he would DEF carry em on his hip like a hot mum #anyway #i want a higashi game and then give him a kid too #SAORI WITH A KID huhuuhu

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lovisyandereblog · 16 days

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noah with a sweet n loving darling, gives him hugs, kisses, gifts and affection but is absolutely RAMMING his ass during sexy time, like degrading, edging, torturing him until he's sobbing, begging for release. Either way, darling gives the best aftercare, switching back to their lovey-mode n taking care of him... idk its just a thought yknow?

From your sweetiepie 🍓anon ♡♡♡

🍓 anon….youve read my mind.

TW (rough) nsfw so mdni!! also dick = strap for my fellow dickless people !!!

Darling is an absolute sweetheart, everyone says so. With their respectful attitude, their always smiling face and their kindness that warms the hearts of many.

This aspect was one of the reasons Noah loved them so much, they were always so gentle…but boy was he mistaken as soon as they started getting more intimate.

SLAP!!

The sound of their hand making contact with Noah’s soft pale skin, followed by his own loud cry just turned Darling on even more.

Noah’s entire body was covered in bruise marks, hickeys and bites; all from his precious darling~

They gripped his hair roughly, pulling him up so his back was against their chest; pounding much more harder than before making his whole body shake with each thrust, “You like that huh~? Dirty bitch…like it when I hit that ass of yours?” They asked, followed by another slap and whine.

Their words were so mean!! But it made Noah’s dick leak pre-cum more and more. Darling removed their hands from his hair, making him drop back on the bed—only for him to gag as they held his mouth open from the sides with both of their hands from the back (A/N i hope you guys are understanding what position im talking abt 😭)

He whined as he was pulled back up, his back arching as his tongue lolled out of his mouth; losing himself in the pleasure. Darling chuckled as his moans became louder and louder, “Youre like a dog in heat aren’t you baby~? Liked being fucked dumb by your owner~?” They spoke in a condescending tone, Noah could only respond with a whine, drool escaping his mouth and covering Darling’s fingers.

“Yeahhh..THRUST…Im your fucking owner…THRUST…dumb fucking mutt…” They spoke through gritted teeth, letting go of Noah’s mouth and gripping his hips to find a better angle: the one that makes him go crazy.

He fell on his hands, weakly trying to hold himself up but as soon as Darling hit that special spot of his—he went nuts.

“AHHHNNGH~!! YES YES YESS…OH F-FUCK…” Noah moaned so loudly that the neighbours would have definitely heard his slutty voice by now.

“Fuck baby…” They groaned as they reached one hand down and started rubbing Noah’s sensitive dick, his body jerked and he sobbed from the overwhelming amounts of pleasure, “AHH~ AHHHH~~~Y/NNNNN!!! T-TOO M..MUSH..TOO..NGHH~” He whined as they slapped his ass again, a beautiful red handprint forming where they had hit.

“You’re gonna fucking take it…take it you dumb fucking slut.” Their harsh words were accentuated by their even harsher thrusts, they leaned down so their mouth was right next to his ear as they increased how fast they were jerking him off.

Oh god he was going to fucking die…he couldn’t cum anymore!!

“Yeah? Youre just my little cumdump aren’t you baby~? A whore who just likes getting fucked over and over again to the point of breaking hmm~?” Darling whispered in his ear as Noah sobbed even more from their free hand playing with his sensitive nipples.

“Y-Y/NNN~ P-PLEASE…I C-CANT!! IM G-GONNA…AHHNGHH!!” Noah whined, making Darling chuckle as they straightened their back, bringing their hands to his hips again.

“My baby want’s to come~? Awee..how adorable~” Darling spoke in a fake sweet tone, as they slowed their thrusts before coming to a complete halt. Noah whimpered and looked back over his shoulder towards them, Darling just wanted to eat him up~

“W-why did you stop~?” Noah whined, trying to move himself back but Darling held his hips in place.

“You insatiable slut…can’t even go a second without a dick fucking inside of you huh~? Even after coming 6 times tonight~?” They smirked, watching Noah pout.

He couldn’t help but clench his hole at their demeaning words, why did it have to feel so good~?

“S-sorry..mmmshorryy~~ P-please…I need you~” Noah begged, knowing nothing turned darling on more than him begging.

And he was spot on as Darling’s grip became tighter, “You need me baby~? Need me to fuck you till you cum~? Start begging for it then…beg for me to fuck your slutty little ass till you come for me~” They demanded immediately, slapping his ass once more.

Darling held his slender waist and flipped him around on his back, so they could see every expression on his pretty face as he comes for them. Noah bites his lip anxiously, he always got nervous before begging…making Darling smirk more as they loved how shy he got.

“P-please…?” His voice was so timid, Darling just had to tease him more, “What was that baby…can’t hear you~?

Noah whined, grabbing onto their arm and making the biggest puppy eyes he could. He remained eye contact which was so hard for him but Darling love it as he begged:

“P-please Y/N!! Please fuck me…p-please fuck me till Im a shaking mess…your shaking mess!! Please…im your slut..im your dirty m-mutt…please!! Im all yours…Im your whore…i need you inside me— AAHHHNNG~!!!” His begging was cut short by Darling abruptly and harshly fucking into him, his back arched as he came on the spot—long white ropes of cum spurting out of his poor abused dick.

Darling fucked him through his orgasm, making sure he was nice and satisfied and stopped as he came down.

Then it was like a switch flipped.

Darling pulled out of him, making Noah whimper—his thighs were shaking as was his entire body from the mind breaking orgasm.

They quickly gathered Noah in their arms, cooing at him and giving him kisses all over the marks they had made.

“Oh baby…you were so good..so pretty for me yeah~?” They praised as Noah wrapped his arms around them, he always felt extra clingy after an orgasm.

They cuddle for a while before Darling laid him down and held a glass of water to his mouth, “Drink up angel…there’s a good boy~” Their praises a complete opposite of the degrading words a few seconds ago, and Noah absolutely loved it.

Noah looked at him with those adorable puppy eyes of his, “I..I l-love you~” He spoke hoarsely, his throat hurt from all that screaming.

“Shh baby…don’t speak yeah? I love you more…let me go get a warm wet cloth to clean you up hmm~?” Darling kissed his cheek, he didn’t want to let them go but he knew he had to.

Noah watched as they carefully cleaned his body, making sure to be gentle and considerate; they left kisses wherever they could reach, taking their time with him. His eyes watered from the overwhelming love, he felt his heart swell…he thought he didn’t deserve them.

After carefully making sure he was clean, they put the cloth in the dirty clothes hamper and went to cuddle him against them, their naked bodies providing the warmth they both needed.

Darling pulled the covers over both of their bodies and smiled at Noah, kissing his nose gently, “I love you Noah~”

He smiled as he whimpered back, “I love you…s-so much~”

BRO this was supposed to be a short one paragraph little thought and i wrote too much 🧍‍♀️ BUTT I HOPE THIS WAS WHAT YOU WERE HOPING FOR!! LOVE YOUUUU also Lovi writing twice in a day im kinda crazy (I will disappear for ten months) IM JOKINGH IO4EFRQU4F809

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winterxisxcomingx · 2 months

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How do you think Lucifer would react to the Charlie/Vaggie/Emily OT3?

(We really need to find a name for this ship)

Excellent question!

"Wasn't Vaggie your girlfriend? Last time I checked?" "Yes, she still is." "So what about the new on? En-Ed-Em-" "Emily." "Yes! Emily girl?" "She's also my girlfriend." "So... both? At once?" "Yes, dad." "Oh, well. Ahahahaha, as long as they're making you happy, sweetheart."

Overall - really confused. You can imagine how many stages of 'worried dad' he ran, before he figured out what's going on.

He firstly thought that his daughter did similar deed like him (as he helped Eve). Or maybe this plus this new girl was just... mistress? Sort of?

Either way he wouldn't care, but just,, was really confused

still isn't sure how it works, but Lucifer knows how much love is inside his daughter, so he's sure that she have enough for more than one person

he's only worried that her partners will hurt her one day (*angry dad mode*) or stupid Heaven with their stupid taboos. Because demons wouldn't dare. But Heaven? He can't control them.

Let me tell you tho, that he accepts them both immediately. I mean, they are both angels (like him) and they were good God's children until they learnt the hard truth about Heaven. He understands them. And he can understand their love for his daughter.

As he tried had his "father-daughter time' with Charlie, he also tried to do this with Vaggie & Emily.

Did it work? Eh... But they tried!

(Both girls got wooden ducks as a sorry)

Charlie is so glad that her dad accepts her girlfriends and her love life and new family.

Now, she only waits for her mother... She's scared, yes, but... at least she’s not alone now, right?

#two and a half halos #charlie's angels #charlies angels #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel headcanons #charlie morningstar #vaggie hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel emily #emily x charlie x vaggie #vaggie x charlie x emily #chaggily #royalhalo #chaggie #emily x vaggie #lucifer morningstar #hazbin hotel lucifer

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mykneeshurt · 1 year

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Hello! I wish you a happy new year!🎆

I wanted to request how would 141 + Alejandro & Rudy react on New Year’s Eve when their s/o gets a little tipsy and flirts with them but in a “cute” way yknow? Being silly and stuff xd

Happy new year! My celebrations are very subdued currently hence why I’m writing lmao. Not me smirking at how cute some of these were 🥹 I hope you like them 🥰

Price 🥃

Price would step into ‘dad’ mode, he’d be overly protective of you. ‘Think you’ve had enough love.’ But you’d always stare up at him with puppy dog eyes ‘you’re so handsome when you try to look after me.’

You’d flutter your eyelashes and pout until he bought you another drink. He’d say no at first, but how could he say no to you and those big old eyes. Sighing he’d go to the bar ‘single vodka lemonade and lime please.’

You’d stroke his beard, then his cheek before offering him a toothy smile. ‘How’d I get so lucky Mr Price?’

He’d chuckle to himself ‘now I know you’ve had enough’ rolling his eyes. He didn’t think he was handsome and struggled to take compliments from you.

You’d giggle into his chest, the giddy wave of alcohol rolling over you. Your eyes heavy he’d wrap a protective arm around you ‘bed time soon sleeping beauty’. He’d whisper kissing your head as the ambiance in bar grew more lively.

‘Not before my new years kiss’ you pouted. As the clock counted down he’d hold you close, breathing in your glorious smile. When the clock hit 12 he whisper ‘happy new year love’ before planting a loving kiss onto your longing lips.

Soap 🧼

Soap loves seeing you tipsy, you let your guard down, any anxiety seemingly washing away. If anything he’s a bad influence.

You and Johnny had only been dating a few months but he always made you feel at ease. Johnny returned from the bar with 2 pints, feeling a bit cheeky you plopped a penny into his drink. ‘God save the queen Johnny’ you smiled.

‘You wee devil’ he smirked before downing his pint. ‘Like drinking games?’ He asked.

Fluttering your lashes you traced your finger along his arm ‘I like a lot more than that Johnny.’

Cheeky minx.

You’d pull him up to dance and he’d go willingly, anything to put his hands on you. You’d dance for a while until your feet started hurting, stumbling back to your booth you’d sip at your untouched pint. ‘God save the queen’ he’d smile dropping a penny into your drink.

Laughing you hit his arm playfully before being a good sport and downing your own.

As the clock counted down to midnight he’d pull you into his arms, cup your face and with a huge toothy grin he’d kiss you deeply. ‘Happy new new year hen.’

God save the queen is a drinking game where you put a penny in someone’s pint and they have to down it before the queen drowns. Would be king now ffs.

Ghost 💀 - currently how my NY plans are lmao

Awwwwk my wee Simon. You’d be at home for New Years, away from the over priced drinks and over crowded bars. He’d be nursing shorts of his bourbon. You’d be on the Prosecco.

You’d watch a few films accompanied by a buffet of party food. After a few glasses of Prosecco you’d be feeling cheeky. Start play fighting, demand he rub your poor feet. Rolling his eyes he’d chuckle ‘get those hooves away from me.’

As you went upstairs to toilet you’d misjudge a step and fall laughing on the step. He’d find you in a mess on the stairs. But he’d be laughing inside at your clumsiness, one of the things he loves about you.

He’d help you up with you grazing his biceps ‘my knight in shining armour’ you’d tease. Rolling his eyes he’s reply ‘yes and you’re my drunken wench.’

You’d put BBC1 on to watch the firework display, to bring in the new year. He’d put your song on and slow dance your way into the new year. Closing your eyes you’d slow dance against his chest, looking up to kiss him you’d see he’d removed his mask for the first time.

‘Happy new year sweetheart.’

Gaz 🇬🇧

Gazzzzzz. He would take you to dinner before hand, wine would be flowing and you’d be very tipsy by the end. Under the table you’ve stroke your foot up his leg. Causing him to blush. ‘Oh my god stop someone will see.’ He was always so bashful.

He’d take you to one of his local spots to being in the new year. Walking to the pub you try and grab his ass, his muscular legs. ‘Oi! Cheeky!’ He’d laugh spinning you round planting a kiss on your cheek.

When you get to the pub you’d find a quiet corner to sit in. He’d buy the first round and as he sits down you’d slide your hand under his bum, trying to cop a feel again.

He’d laugh ‘you’re ridiculous!’

‘Yeah and your gorgeous’ you’d reply kissing his cheek.

As the pin counted down to midnight he’d swing your legs over his and pull you close, ‘happy new year babe.’ Placing his lips on yours.

Alejandro 🌹

Alejandro would wine and dine you in a local romantic restaurant, we’re talking good quality red wine and roses.

He’d take you to a secluded spot he knows of to watch the fire works at midnight. ‘So glad I have a big strong man to take care of me out here’ you slur to him. Your head swimming from the wine. He’d grab your chin ‘the only person you have to worry about out here is me mi amor.’

He’d laugh at your drunken ramblings about your day, how you slurred that bitches name from the office who annoyed you so much. He loved how animated your face was.

‘Your lips are so pretty’ you smirk at him.

‘And you’re pretty drunk’ he’d reply. You’d fold your arms and pout ‘I am not!’

‘Oh mi amor, you absolutely are. Lucky I love the way you slur my name.’ You’d playfully slap him away, ‘such a pest.’

As you watched the fireworks over the horizon lighting up the sky you’d lean in, cupping his jaw. ‘Feliz año nuevo.’

Rudy ❤️

Any date with Rudy is fun, he has a wicked sense of humour and loves to be a wind up merchant to you.

For New Years he takes you to his favourite bar which is hosting a ticketed event. Its 70s fancy dress, Rudy dresses in a deep red pant suit with flares, and a black wig to match.

‘Do the curtains match the carpet?’ You question teasingly, having had a few too many to drink. ‘Maybe I can show you later?’ He purrs in your ear.

You dance the night away, drinks flowing, sharing stories. He can’t take his eyes off you in your ridiculous 70s outfit.

Rudy would be using 70s slang all night. Having researched it to be authentic. After sipping on a questionable cocktail he turns to you ‘that’s a freaky deaky cocktail!’ Smirking you absolutely cannot help yourself ‘hm maybe you can show me you freaky dicky cocktail later.’

Your awful humour is always something he loved he’d just raise an eyebrow and laugh with you.

As midnight looms he’d pull you close, unable to take his eyes off your drunken state. Whispering ‘mi amor’ before kissing you deeply.

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spooky-donut-ghost-house · 3 months

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Rant incoming

I'm sorry I'm just so fucking tired of the "Lucifer is actually a good guy!" and the "Heaven is bad" schtick

You expect me to believe that the archangel that was considered arrogant, who hated humanity because he believed that they were inferior to him and he was God's greatest creation, purposefully caused the first sin just to be a dick, tempted millions of people, tried to tempt Jesus everyday while he was fasting and is the literal reason Hell exists in the first place to actually be good?

I'm sorry why the fuck is everybody in Hell terrible except Lucifer???? Even all the other demons are evil but not him

For fuck's sake he's the leader of the PRIDE ring why isn't he PRIDEFUL why isn't he spiteful why isn't he evil HE'S MOTHERFUCKING LUCIFER WHY IS HE SOME GOOFY BITCH WHY IS HE MOPING AROUND ALL DAY WITH HIS STUPID RUBBER DUCKS WHY DID HE WANT TO GIVE HUMANITY FREE WILL THAT'S NOT LUCIFER AT ALL THAT'S JUST SOME DEPRESSED DUDE PLAYING MINECRAFT CREATIVE MODE

Like I would get it if he made Adam and Eve sin to be like "Look! Look at them! They sinned against you! They're imperfect! This is why I am better than them! I am your greatest creation, not them!" NO instead he fucking plays Minecraft on creative mode and wanted everyone else to play on creative mode THAT'S NOT LUCIFER THAT IS NOT HIM WHERE IS THE GREAT DECIEVER HE THAT HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE INSTEAD HE'S JUST SOME FUCKING DEPRESSED SHORT APPLE MAN THAT'S STUPID AND IT GETS EVEN MORE STUPID WHEN YOU COMBINE THE "Lucifer is actually a good guy!" TROPE AND COMBINE IT WITH THE "Heaven is bad actually" TROPE AND THEN TAKE A BIG FAT SHIT EVERYWHERE THAT'S WHAT THIS IS HOLY FUCK THIS IS SO FUCKING STUPID MY GOD YOU HAVE THE MOST DUMBASS FUCKHEAD RUNNING A SHOW AND SHE DOESN'T EVEN UNDERSTAND THE BASIC FUCKING SHIT ABOUT THE RELIGION SHE CLAIMS TO BE CRITICIZING YOU WHITEWASHED SAINT PETER YOU MADE LUCIFER A SAD BOY YOU MADE ADAM INTO AN IMMATURE DICKHEAD GOD AND JESUS DON'T EVEN FUCKING EXIST IN THIS UNIVERSE WHO THE FUCK IS RUNNING HEAVEN THEN? WHO THE FUCK CASTED LUCIFER OUT OF HEAVEN IF GOD JUST STRAIGHT UP DOESN'T EXIST? WHO CREATED EVERYTHING???? WHY THE FUCK DO THE EXORCISTS AND ADAM LOOK LIKE IMPS IF THEY ARE ANGELS?????? IS SHE EVER GONNA ANSWER THOSE QUESTIONS? PROBABLY FUCKING NOT HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO FUCKING STUPID I AM GONNA HAVE A FUCKING BRAIN ANEURYSM

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deathmetalunicorn1 · 8 months

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I was thinking about a RoR x toddler reader playing hide and seek with some of the gods and humans.

Like everyone but the reader was found and now they have to find them. So like 3-4 hours had past and the Gods and humans still haven’t found them. Until they yelled out they given up. Which made the reader to come out of their hiding place.

(I did this one time and I climb up a fig tree and my mom couldn’t find me. Which made her go into panic mode which lead her to call the police and it was later on that I climbed down. Which gave my mom some relief. I remember most of it but not all of it.)

-Ares was holding his hair in stress, panicking as Loki ran in, “Have you found her yet?!” Ares turned, hearing him enter, “No- I’ve looked in every bedroom and Hermes checked the attic!”

-What started as a fun game quickly turned into panic as you wanted to play hide and seek, and after not being able to find you after about fifteen minutes, everyone began to panic.

-They knew you would follow the rules, not going out into the front yard, only in the backyard if you were going outside, and no hiding in the dryer… you made that rule yourself after an unexpected tumble dry in the dryer.

-So that meant you were somewhere in the house- but nobody could find you!!

-Originally you were playing with Loki, Buddha, Zerofuku, Ares, Goll, and Kojiro, but after you went MIA, your whole family was now looking high and low for you.

-Lu Bu lifted up the couch to check underneath it while Thor was ready to start breaking down walls, logic leaving everyone as they thought you were hiding in the vents, or under the house, or even in the walls since nobody could find you.

-Eve was panicking, tears in her eyes as Adam held her, “When should we call the police?!” the situation was becoming more and more frantic.

-Loki then froze before he shouted, having an epiphany, “That’s it! Y/N YOU WIN!! COME GET ICE CREAM!!”

-Everything was still for a few moments before you ran downstairs, “Ice cream!!” Ares instantly had you in his arms, ugly crying, “You’re okay!!!”

-You were confused, looking around as you were quickly passed around, being smothered in affection by everyone, as you hadn’t realized the panic you had caused.

-Once in his arms, as Loki was pouting, letting you have ice cream, “Where were you? We’ve looked everywhere?” you beamed brightly up at him, “I hid in Shiva’s room- behind his big pillows!”

-They all paused, realizing you were hiding behind the large floor pillows Shiva and his wives kept in their large room, meant for sitting on the floor comfortably.

-Loki added it to your list of hiding places to check first if they couldn’t find you as Ares was trying to think of other games to play with you that wouldn’t give him so much heartburn.

#record of ragnarok #ror x reader #ror loki #ror ares

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davosmymaster · 1 year

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Home

TAGS AND WARNINGS - Hurt/comfort, panic attack, family issues, abusive family, racism (against Joel and Sarah), mentions of stalking (if you squint), Joel is definitely Latino, potentially triggering if you have suffered from an abusive household, self-degradation, “Mexican” as a slur, Christmas celebration and religion. Reader is 28. Because of the plot both reader and family are implied to be white/not black or latino.

PAIRINGS - Joel Miller x fem!reader (Pre-outbreak! Joel)

WORD COUNT - 3.2k

SUMMARY - Coming back “home” to your family for Christmas is always a dangerous move. The goal was simple: survive through the night. Joel comes to the rescue when the mission becomes unbearable.

Home

There is a warmth in your chest as you close the door to your childhood room. Out of the bubble you have now created for yourself beyond those four walls, there's a dad sitting in front of the tv and a mom putting the finishing touches to Christmas dinner. Your brother is somewhere out there, too. And all you can think of is how the warmth in your chest becomes white lightning, a fire going up and down through your sternum; and your closed-up throat unwilling to welcome any more air into your lungs.

'What's wrong?' you ask yourself in your mind; as if you didn't already have the answer for that. All is fine, all is well. And yet the fire doesn't stop despite the lack of oxygen in your lungs, and the trembling in your hands becomes somehow more erratic.

'What's wrong?' The voice in your head is unforgiving. Sarcastic. Insulting, even. 'Nothing's wrong. You know damn well that's the problem.'

Your breathing comes out laboured. Somehow the autopilot has failed, and you have to remind yourself to keep breathing; it seems that your body is no longer interested in keeping you alive. Let alone sane.

As if sent by God themselves, the flip phone in your handbag rings. The melody fills the room from where you left your things an hour ago and your knees crawl there, unable to hold your own weight. Back hits the mattress, and your form becomes a boneless bundle of anxiety against it, on the floor. Your shaky hands look for the phone inside your bag; and you pick it up on its last ring.

You hear a relieved breath on the other side, and yours immediately follows. His voice comes out low, a drop of worry staining it inevitably like blood on a white shirt.

"It's me," he says. And you want to respond 'Of course it's you, who else would call me at this hour on Christmas eve?' "Just wanted to check how everything is going."

Words don't come out of your mouth. You just bend into yourself a little more, feeling extremely cold all of a sudden. The trembling is gone. Although it has left remnants behind, a trail of weakness in your very soul, your breathing still in manual mode. Slow. Lungs aching.

"Darlin'..." Joel whispers.

You can almost picture him bent over his yellow kitchen counter. One hand is pressing the phone against his ear, his elbow supporting his weight. The other is against his chest as if trying to comfort himself with half a hug. The crease between his dropped eyebrows is deep. Concern flows from his voice like a river after it's rained. You want to massage the fine lines on his forehead, press your own hand against his patchy beard; and kiss the worry away.

The words you prepare yourself to say are comforting, dismissive of your current situation; but they never leave your lips.

"I shouldn't be here," it's what flows from your mouth instead.

He takes a deep breath followed by a sigh, and you can perfectly picture him shutting his eyes tightly.

"What happened?"

"Nothing."

He insists, but you don't have a different answer to offer. Truth is, nothing has happened; and that is something Joel Miller, your boyfriend, whose parents were always there for him both physically and emotionally when he and Tommy were growing up, will never understand.

He will never understand the silence in the room below, and how unsettling it is to patiently wait for the inevitable fight. He will never understand that the smell and sight of the house you grew up in bring memories deeply buried but burnt into your brain. He will never understand the unnerving rage that floods your nervous system whenever your family behaves like family; when they treat you nicely and kindly and it feels like they are mocking you somehow. Because you know how they are, and you know they are seconds away from dropping the masks and beginning the third world war as soon as you bring up the wrong topic; which seems to be any topic these days. But especially the fact that you're dating a divorced dad. And as if that wasn't enough, it bothers them, even more, knowing that said dad is of Latin descent, and his child, a black girl.

You don't understand why you're even there. Well, you know why you're there; because they drove three hours to pick you up even though you repeatedly told them that you could drive back home for Christmas. Because you had felt guilty —and sick— at the thought of one: saying no after that; and two: the anxiety a fight in front of Sarah's teacher would cause you.

How had they found out you were taking Sarah to school, or what school she attended? You had no idea.

"I'm sorry..." you whisper, suddenly guilty for being there; even though you know it's not your fault that they are manipulative and abusive and a complete fucking nightmare. It feels like you need to apologize to both of them, for still wanting and expecting your parents to change despite the awful things they think of Joel and Sarah.

"Hey... hey..." Joel speaks in a whisper, his heart pounding so hard it hurts. And you hear him walking somewhere; probably outside. He doesn't like Sarah listening to things she's not supposed to know about. "We both know it's not your fault they have their head so far up their asses."

There's no reason for you to break the way you do, but that doesn't stop your tears or your own shallow breath from making it to the other side of the line. A low grunt escapes your lips. The pain is raw, and feels new rather than just an uncomfortable scar. Your eyes scan the room and they find your purple walls, old notebooks, clothes in the open wardrobe and, suddenly, it feels like you're fifteen and so fucking helpless and exhausted and done.

"Darlin', come on..." he's begging. "Take deep breaths with me. C'mon..."

You close your eyes, so tightly that your very brain hurts, so tightly that you see bursts of fireworks behind your eyelids. That doesn't stop the tears from coming, but at least now there is a dark invisible barrier between you and that house that should be your home but isn't. And you take a deep breath with him, and let it out.

"Good. You're doing so good," he says, and it fills you with guilt that his voice sounds so scared. "One more... Yeah, there you go. One more baby girl... That's it," he keeps you from falling into the abyss of your mind, and you don't think you could ever repay the debt.

A comfortable silence settles between the both of you before he asks.

"Want me to go and pick you up?" he asks, with such a gentle voice you couldn't help but picture him as he talked to baby Sarah. He doesn't want to scare you or upset you in any way.

But you shake your head quickly and wipe your tears with the back of your hand.

"No," you respond. "It's so far away, and Christmas... and Sarah needs you."

"Sarah is perfectly fine here, and Christmas will last 'til morning. It's not even that late," he says. "...and you need me too," he insists. "It's not that far, anyway."

"It's a three-hour-long drive."

"For those old motherfuckers maybe. I can go back and forth in that same amount of time."

You sigh, loudly. The strength is leaving your body with any passing second, and you fear you will pass out on him while still on the call.

Almost as a threat, you hear your mother speaking in the living room.

"She's in her room?" she asks, and your heartbeat increases. It pounds heavily against your ribcage. The voice is muffled by the walls and stairs, but loud and clear as if she wanted you to hear. "Some things never change, do they? What a shame. A twenty-eight-year-old woman, hiding in her room from the parents that raised her... and put a roof over her head..."

Then, your brother laughs.

"Joel..." you say. With the tone that comes out of your shutting throat and your knees on the floor, his name in your mouth feels like a prayer. He winces on the other side of the line as if he could feel the stabbing pain in your heart. But that, you don't know. "Please hurry..."

"I will, baby," he says.

As soon as your words leave your mouth, you regret them. Almost screaming his name, he gets startled; asks what's wrong as if he feared the ceiling of your childhood bedroom collapsing on top of you. It certainly feels like it.

"Don't be so quick, though," you whisper, and immediately cringe at your own words. "I mean... Don't get yourself killed on the road. Please."

He blows a long sigh, directly into his phone.

"Je-sus... Christ," he could almost laugh at the relief. "I won't. Keep your phone at hand."

"Thank you, baby."

Before either of you has even hung up the phone, the door to your room bursts open. Your brother is standing there, with that sly grin that you wish you could beat out of him without him killing you first; but which, at the same time, terrifies you to the point of absurdity.

He leans his head, covered by a baseball cap, towards the hallway.

"She's talking to the Mexican!"

A different kind of rage fills your veins, but even before you have the chance to say or do anything; you're defeated by your own dread. You wait for him to say something else, to reveal your new plan for Christmas; but he just stands there squinting in your direction. He seems confused by your puffy red eyes and your sitting position on the floor; rather than concerned for your teary face as an actual brother should be.

Your mother speaks, then. A loud cry comes from the first floor. Exaggerated. Malicious.

"Oh dear lord," she sobs. "What did we do to deserve this? And on Christmas Eve. Can we not have one peaceful Christmas?"

"Dinner's ready," your brother says. And slams the door.

[***]

For almost two hours you eat up your father's complaints about hypothetical broken hinges and your mother's cries about being the worst possible mother ever. Your brother seems the only person eating dinner in peace, and you're almost jealous of how unbothered he appears to be.

At some point the conversation redirects towards Joel, you don't know exactly when or why, but your father says his name as if Joel had anything to do with whatever he was talking about. You try to defend him, but end up with both of them somehow offended because you called them racists and they-are-not-racist and Mexicans-take-our-jobs and no matter how many times you tell them he's not Mexican, they don't seem to care.

How you manage not to have another panic attack, that you don't know.

The doorbell rings throughout the house, as if announcing the apocalypse. Your brother stands with his fork halfway out of his mouth, and your heart races as you look toward both of your parents. You see their mind going a mile a second, wondering if their complaints have been loud enough for the neighbors to call the police. Until shaking like a leaf, you get up from the table without having eaten a single bite, get your handbag and head to the front door.

Everything else is a blur, even if nothing special happened, even if they just let you go without a single word. Somehow, silence is even worse than what you were expecting. Next thing you know, you're in Joel's truck heading back to Austin and he's holding your hand.

Just the sight of him calms your nerves enough to wake up from the trance. He's rubbing small circles on the back of your limp hand. He manages to drive with one single hand on the steering wheel, but he clenches his fist so much around it that you can see his knuckles turning white.

He turns for a split second to look at you, and his gaze softens. His fingers intertwined with yours, and he squeezes gently.

"There you are, gorgeous," he says, his voice being the only thing you can hear. He takes a deep breath, and you know he's trying very hard not to pull over and squeeze you against his chest until your atoms and his merge together. "We're going home now, baby. It's okay."

The sentence feels like a kick in the gut, but he's right; you're going home now. The force of the blow is so hard that you physically flinch, and fat round tears come back to your cheeks.

You wished it was different. You wished they were different. You wished you could call their house your home and those people your family, but they hardly have earned the title of acquaintances. It doesn't matter that you're their flesh and blood; they haven't treated you as such. Through the four of you flows the same blood, but what does that matter when they seem to break your own heart with every word they pronounce?

You don't even realize how or when, but the truck is standing on the side of the road. Joel gets out and walks to where you are, and your arms fling themselves over his broad shoulders as soon as he swings the door open. He buries his nose in your hair, breathing in your own presence and squeezing his fingers on your waist as if he could get your body any closer to his. When your touch falters, he takes his chance to grab your cheeks and kiss you.

The kiss tastes like salt from your own tears, but that doesn't stop him in the slightest. He wants to kiss you harder than his own body is capable of. He daydreams of becoming the prince in those Disney movies Sarah loved as a child. All so he can erase all your pain with a single kiss, wake you up from the terrible nightmare with just his presence, his love and care. He knows that's not possible, but that doesn't stop him from trying.

His tongue gently licks yours. He revels in the kiss, his knees almost buckling up as if he was a teenager all over again. Before he lets go, he nibbles at your lower lip. And it's not until then, when his hips accidentally brush your inner thigh, that he notices how hard he actually is.

You gasp, and your lips form a perfect 'oh" against his mouth. Your eyes are closed, and he holds his breath at how drugged up he feels. He breathes your exhale and now it is pooling at the bottom of his lungs, making a home there. Unmoving. Strange to his system but somehow still welcomed. He presses his lips against the pulse point on your neck, feels the swollen vein there and flattens his tongue against the warm skin. Just the soft moan coming from your lips makes his boring existence worth it.

And then he bites. Softly. So soft that he barely feels his own teeth against your flesh. It still makes you jump.

"Joel!" you whisper, and the following second he's smiling as he draws a path of kisses back to your cheek. "Ugh... stop"

The air he's been holding finally comes out of his system with a long sigh. Both his hands are hugging your cheeks as his lips approach your forehead and gift you a kiss there.

"I won't let anyone mistreat you this way again," he says. He's all eyes closed and heart on his sleeve. Even if he was usually affectionate, he had never once before been so open before. The ghost of his ex-wife still haunts his nightmares and threatens him to end the same way with you if he let himself go. "I wish I met you before... maybe I could've been there and..."

"Joel," you stop his ramblings. Those words he's saying are not even directed at you anymore. He's lost in his own thoughts, in his own pain. "Joel you couldn't have done anything. This had to happen sooner or later."

Finally, he lets go, but still keeps you close enough to bury your head in his chest if you need it.

"Look at you..." he says. "Comforting me when it is you who needs comfort now. I can't even begin to imagine what it was like to be there all those years. I would've lost my fucking mind."

With teary eyes, you look into those gentle brown eyes he carries. They look at you with so much pain already, such a heavy backpack full of sorrow for you on his back, that you feel bad to answer.

"I did. I did lose my fucking mind. Not having a home does that to a person."

Maybe it is because he doesn't want to cry in front of you, not now that you're so tender around the edges, at least; but he brings you back into his arms and a few tears well his eyes.

"Let me be your home," he finally whispers against your hair. "I will always be your home, somewhere you can always go to and depend on. Sarah and I will be your home. You don't have to keep looking anywhere else..."

The wound in your chest cannot be mended, that you already know. Yet Joel's words feel like a balm on the open wound. The promise sounds heaven-sent, too good to be true. It also feels threatening somehow. The breaking of that promise, if you agreed to it, would mean completely losing any hope remaining in your body, any strength to keep fighting. Trusting is so difficult and love so complicated when fate seems so random. Yet this is what living is like, isn't it? What is life if not a continuous gamble we play in the hope of achieving a little happiness?

His eyes are fixed on yours, trying to read the thoughts coming non-stop to your mind. But in the end, there's nothing left to consider. Before you could even make the conscious decision, your mind, even if broken and dazed, had already performed the biggest proof of care you were capable of. You had stood against your parents for Joel and Sarah, something you had never been able to do before. Not in all seriousness, at least; not as far as showing them that you were capable of walking out of their house without their permission.

You loved them, and they loved you the way a true family should love. Joel loved you in a way you had never thought possible, and Sarah considered you, in all aspects, her true mother. Their home was always open for you. Always welcome. The only scream anyone would hear could only come from the tv or the radio. The arms were always open, the coffee always boiling hot, and the favors didn't need to be asked for. Love wasn't traded, but simply given.

"You two have always been my true home," you finally conceded, right into his incredulous and love-struck eyes. "Will you forgive me for forgetting?"

"Oh, babygirl..." he whispers, a smile dancing on his lips as he presses his forehead against yours, and his hands slowly warm your cheeks. His nose gently brushes yours. "There's no need to apologize. I will never get tired of reminding you."

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x oc #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x fem!reader #tlou fanfic #the last of us x reader #joel miller x you

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thesherrinfordfacility · 10 months

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so i had the bright idea of rewatching s1 today whilst im working from home, now knowing what i know about s2, and so i can ruminate a little more on s1 with the additional context. ive barely made it past five minutes

im pretty sure ive gotten most of the frames accurate from this bit, and im sure it might just be a bit of demonstrative cinematography (which ya know, *chefs kiss*) but at the same time i love going into full year 9 english teacher mode about this shit, and i think there is something to comment on (which someone already might have done but w/e). in any case, this bit of dialogue is very noticeably layered with shots of crowley and aziraphale, but intercut with the shots of adam facing down the lion:

like, i can't help but feel that there is some symmetry in this and either other people have spotted it and im very behind, OR we havent spotted it and s2 spoilers have helped unlock it✨

so who is meant to be who here? for my money it would be that adam is mirroring aziraphale, and eve is mirroring crowley - in so much that at a really shallow level, aziraphale is a platoon leader, a guardian, fought in the war etc. crowley, regardless of his rank, is a starmaker, and let's face it the boy has the structural integrity of a strand of dried linguine. so we could look at it on that level (ignore the lion for the moment ill sort of explain that if it isn't already obvious)

but also we now know that this scene is not their first meeting, and that aziraphale and crowley do in fact remember each other and know that they have met, and in aziraphale's case is probably the teeniest bit shy bc damn heart eyes as an angel, heart eyes as a demon 🥵 but my point is that this is after the fall. after (as far as crowley tells it) crowley fell for 'just ask[ing] questions", and "just hung around the wrong people".

now i have my thoughts on why crowley fell: tldr because it would require another post - both reasons he gave above are bullshit and obvs conflict with each other, so i think that he doesn't actually know why he fell and has just guessed his transgressions so he can rationalise it, that god actually never had an issue with him asking questions, and instead it was actually god's plan to make him fall so he could represent the 'evil' side of free will on earth, as aziraphale's counterpart, and essentially ensure that humankind stays eternally 'in balance'

ANYWAY so the fact that in the lion sequence, 'crowley' is being shielded by 'aziraphale' against an unknown entity; but does this mirror a flashback, or is it foreshadowing? again, id put my bets on the former visually, but the latter... lyrically? idk the word but regardless take the dialogue:

"What if I did the right thing;

with the whole 'eat the apple business'?

A demon can get into a lot of trouble;

for doing the right thing."

so let's rephrase this:

"Was it the right decision to fall;

was I right to choose this for myself?

to choose the right to choose?

Because i feel like i could live to regret it."

so is crowley in essence already asking if aziraphale is on his side? is he asking if falling was the right thing, the good thing, to do (regardless of whether god gave him any choice in the matter)? But was he given the choice, first true free will? did aziraphale try to protect him during the fall, so crowley could get out in time (but ultimately fail? or at least bought Crowley enough time to find a back staircase and fall gently and peacefully, 'saunter vaguely downwards'?), and then get assigned to earth to be the 'good' side of the coin for humanity?

and is crowley asking if aziraphale will continue to be with him? in whatever romantic, platonic, acquaintance context you want - is he asking aziraphale if aziraphale will fight for him again, for them both? aziraphale made his decision, enacted his free will, in giving the humans a sword, and thus brought the concept of war and horror to earth, even if that was never his intention - so now swordless, and now only condemned to watch humanity as it strides out on its own (or was this the plan all along?👀), is aziraphale willing to do it? does he have the power, the strength, the will? would he stretch his finger over the line to fight on their side?

maybe im asking the wrong kind of questions, but all ill say is that in the above sequence? at the end of the dialogue? adam kills the lion.

i think 'their side' began in the job minisode, yes maybe, but also maybe the idea of it, the understanding of it, was planted here.

#good omens #anyway time to continue with the rest of ep1 lmao #s1 meta #crowley meta #the fall/the great war spec

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getcuboned · 3 months

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The hardest thing for a show to do without absolutely Destroying its audience's belief in stakes is fake out deaths. It happens all the time during a season or even series finale: A main character dies, but then is revealed to be mildly/moderately/extremely hurt (throw a dart).

All the emotional payoff a character dying is immediately followed up with a cathartic return of a beloved figure. When its done right, it's Effective. That's why it was so popular, that and another reason.

The other reason is that its relatively Easy. It doesn't require the writers to change the status quo. Silly fun adventures with the gang go on as always without any real changes. This is so Cost and Idea effective, that it got overused and now everyone is jaded.

Now there's good ways to do this of course. AtLA comes to mind: Genuine threat of death, maguffin from last season finale which has been haunting the previous episodes comes into play, and the status quo changes: Aang is recovering from a serious injury for weeks, is furious that he died and failed Again when the world needed him, and he can't tap into god mode anymore.

So what's this got to do with the tags? Well if you know you know. Otherwise spoiler warning so gtfo already.

Sir Pentious, and I suspect Adam, did die a fakeout death, but the death part was genuine. Sir Pentious was not found in the rubble of the Hotel. Sir Pentious didn't respawn and explain that Adam's divine energy beams weren't angelic steel. Sir Pentious was Genuinely dead and the status quo has genuinely changed.

But! The show's premise is that the Hotel can help sinners redeem themselves. Redeption isn't a reward you seek. Its a condition that one meets on a personal, individual level. Sir Pentious came to the Hotel as a spy, and when he was shown that Charlie was willing to forgive him, it changed his understanding of the world. He realized that he could improve, it just starts with one good sorry.

Sir Pentious put aside his self loathing, his shame, his anxieties. He used his inventions to put himself on the line rather than keep himself out of danger (I mean that's what the airship is all about isn't it?). He fought for the people he cared about. He died to protect the ones he loved. And that transformation: from a paranoid worm of a human being (slimy? Snakes are not slimy), to an actualized individual willing to put himself on the line, earned him salvation.

Now Sir Pentious is an Angel! He's in Heaven! Even more so he bypassed the Pearly Gates and functionally respawned In the Seraphim's boardroom. Frankly He was one of the older sinners to be around so it doesn't surprise me the implication that he's powerful enough be worth the notice of the Seraphims.

So what about Adam? Why do I mention him? He was killed by a filthy janitor. Well. As another post mentioned: In the 10,000 years that Adam has been in charge of killing his own descendants because Lilith and Eve (where the fuck is she anyway?) screwed him over with the assistance of a short, dumb, naive angel (poor guy just wanted to share his ideas, look at him. 10,000 years later and he's hardly got a drop of malice in him that isn't put there by someone else), Adam has become Prideful, Slothful, Lustful, and Wrathful. Even one of those is enough to make you fall. Yet he was tolerated by heaven, most likely due to his extenuating circumstances.

Adam has died. He died full of Wrath, and Pride. He died because he was unmotivated to come up with a better solution, and unwilling to keep himself in shape. He died because of his Blood Lust.

So I think that very early on in season two, we will get to see Adam's demonic form.

Two fakeout deaths! But not really. Both characters have provably died and both (theoretically) will create a new status quo not just by dying, but by reincarnating across enemy lines.

#hazbin hotel spoilers #sir pentious #hazbin hotel #writing advice #hazbin adam #lucifer #hazbin lilith #hazbin eve

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twisted-dork · 5 months

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Buddie incorrect quotes #1 Ring Ring

This idea came from @Caitpatmosh from TikTok

*At the grant/nash house athena took the kids out*

Chimney: Hey Buck do you still have that movie I lent to you

Buck: I think so. Where did I put it

*Buck unknowingly showed the ring he was wearing on his hand*

*Chimney Gasp*

Buck: What?

*Chimney excited mode*: Oh my god Oh my god it finally happened . DID IT FINALLY HAPPEN

Buck: Did what happen?

Chi: Yes Maddie and Hen owes me 50 bucks. GUYS GET IN HERE

Bobby : What’s wrong?

Maddie: What happened Chim?

Hen: What is going on over here?

*Chimney points to Buck’s hand*: Look. At. His. Hand.

*Everone sees the ring and gasp*

Maddie: Shut. Up

Bobby: Oh Buck

Hen *Frustrated that she lost the bet*: Oh for Goodness sakes

Maddie: Damn it Ev. You couldn’t have waited another year.

Maddie: I mean I’m happy for you but now I owe Chim 50 bucks

Buck *realizes what they think happened*: Oh this. This is not—

Chimney: Okay so obviously I’m the wedding planner

Hen: God help us all

Chimney: Hey keep sassing and you’re going to be flower girl

Bobby: Buck you have always been like another son to me

Buck: Guys this is sweet but there’s a misunderstanding

*Eddie comes over*

Eddie: What is all the commotion over here

Hen: Dude run

Eddie: What?

Bobby: EDDIE

Chimney: There’s the lucky dog *punches Eddie shoulder*

Eddie: Ow. What the hell

Buck: Sorry Ed’s I’m trying to explain

Chimney: Okay okay. Let me get out my emergency party planner

Hen: You carry an emergency party planner

Chimney: KAREN

Karen: How can I be of service

Chimney: Hey you’re still ordained right

Eddie: Ordained

Karen: Are you and Maddie finally getting married

Chimney: Ha ha I wish. No this is for Buck and Eddie

Eddie: Wait WHAT

Chimney: Are you in or out

Karen: Yes I look forward to it

Maddie: So how did you do it? Where did you do it? Did he cry? Did you cry

Bobby: I’m crying right now

Hen: I think we could tell

Eddie: Uh hello. What the hell is going on

Maddie: Wait who’s going to walk Ev down the aisle

Bobby: I will do it

Buck: Really

Bobby: It would be the single greatest honor of my life

Buck: Oh my god I’m going to cry

Eddie: I think we’re getting carried away here

Chimney: Next Eddie you gotta pick your best man

Hen: This is ridiculous

Eddie: Yeah none of you are gonna be my best man

Hen: You wouldn’t pick me as your best (wo)man

Eddie: Ay Dios Mío

Taylor: Hey guys can I help with the wedding too

Eddie: Noo!

Chimney: Sure you can be the ring bearer

Hen: That is way too much responsibility for her

Chimney: Oh yeah your right. You can be the usher

Maddie: That still may be too much

Buck: You guys this is so sweet but there’s not going to be a wedding

Chimney: Evan "Buck" Buckley. I will die from a rod to the head before you get married in a courthouse

Maddie: And I’ll be damned if I’m not the best woman

Bobby: I will walk you down any aisle Buck

Eddie: We are not engaged

*Everyone shocked pikachu face*

Chimney: What?

Buck: Yeah

Karen: I’m confused

Chimney: Where’d you get that huge ass ring

Buck: It’s from one of Jee’s bath bomb that has Jewelry in it.

Buck: *shows the ring* It’s pretty right

*Everyone glares at Eddie*

Bobby: So you didn’t propose

Eddie: Nooo

Chimney: Well when the hell are you proposing man

Eddie: W-Uh I mean uh

Eddie: What’s that Chris you need me I’ll be right there

*Hen who knew all along*: Jesus Christ

#fox 911 #buck x eddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #eddie diaz x evan buckley #buddie #maddie buckley #chimney han #hen wilson #karen wilson #bobby nash #christopher diaz #jee yun buckley han #demon slayer #marriage

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micah-drew · 6 months

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Record of Ragnarok Headcanons: Horror Games Edition

—

CW: May be ooc for some characters, spoilers for some games

「 ✦ Round 1: Thor, Lü Bu, Randgriz ✦ 」 Resident Evil 4

જ⁀➴ Lü Bu and Thor were dead silent the moment they started playing, it was almost eerie how silent they were for the first hour. They were so focused…nothing could break them out of that trance.

જ⁀➴ Randgriz had made a small joke about they were reading each others minds and they shared a glance. Whatever that means! Randgriz just decided to just smile and continue watching the game.

જ⁀➴ The moment the Bitores Mendez boss battle started, it was only within seconds. Having the flying general and god of thunder working together in a horror game that involved fighting— yeah, nothing was surviving.

જ⁀➴ The two basically did a no hit run without even trying!

જ⁀➴ Randgriz watched the whole time. She picked up the controller once and almost immediately died, so instead she’s watching the other two play. Despite that, she handles horror pretty well! Nothing scared her too badly, aside from the first Regenerator.

—

「 ✦ Round 2: Zeus, Adam, Reginleif ✦ 」 Little Nightmares 2

જ⁀➴ Zeus didn’t have much to say about the game, and instead he just watched the other two do everything. Less work for him, the better…and the reason he wouldn’t admit, that being the controls frustrated him and he almost broke a controller earlier.

જ⁀➴ Meanwhile Reginleif is over analyzing every single detail. Looking into details of games and books? She’s a pro!

જ⁀➴ Adam liked Mono a lot, and thought the locations were interesting. He wasn’t too fond of the teacher though, watching as her neck stretched to try and catch Mono in the school.

જ⁀➴ Both Reginleif and Adam disliked the hospital by a lot. Why is the doctor on the ceiling? Why is he experimenting on people who are already getting distorted by the TV signals? And why are the patients acting like weeping angels— just why.

જ⁀➴ Eve walked in on the two at the wrong time, seeing Six drop Mono into the abyss as an act of betrayal. She didn’t understand what was happening, but Adam quickly got up to comfort her and had Reginleif finish the game while he consoled his wife.

—

「 ✦ Round 3: Poseidon, Kojiro Sasaki, Hrist ✦ 」 Phasmophobia

જ⁀➴ These three get absolutely nothing done, they’re absolute clowns in the sense Kojiro is just there for a good time, Hrist’s anger side just enjoys messing with the other two, and Poseidon gave up the moment he was handed a controller.

જ⁀➴ Poseidon is the king of dying in the dumbest positions, it’s actually amazing how many times it happens. He hates it, but Kojiro always takes a picture of it.

જ⁀➴ They almost completed one hunt, but got it wrong after Poseidon checked the wrong kind of ghost. Safe to say, he was beyond furious when it happened. Hrist and Kojiro were quick to reassure him though.

જ⁀➴ Kojiro takes every single important item and ends up dying with it on his person, and Hrist always has to rebuy everything.

જ⁀➴ Poseidon hates every second of the hunts, he isn’t amused by anything so anytime the ghost tries to mess with the team he completely ignores it— and gets killed almost every time. The other two are staring to think he does it on purpose to avoid playing.

—

「 ✦ Round 4: Heracles, Jack The Ripper, Hlökk ✦ 」 Five Nights at Freddy’s: Sister Location

જ⁀➴ Hlökk liked the characters designs! They were cute and pink…and then minus the cute part the moment Funtime Freddy’s face opened up. No longer cute, because what the fu-

જ⁀➴ Jack and Heracles got through the main story mode pretty easily, they did struggle in night four though with the spring locks. It took them a few times, but they eventually got it.

જ⁀➴ Then they began playing the custom modes at max difficulty, and everything immediately went to hell because there’s now story in the cutscenes?! All of them are determined to get those endings now, even if it means taking hours on a single mode.

જ⁀➴ They also got the secret ending by escaping going into the scooper room, but the moment Ennard entered the house Hlökk just stared. Jack had to refrain from laughing, and poor Heracles was equally as confused.

જ⁀➴ Managed to complete all the max modes! The three of them were so relieved when it was over, and they don’t exactly want to play that one again. The others? For the lore!

—

「 ✦ Round 5: Shiva, Raiden Tameemon, Thrud ✦ 」 Slender: The Eight Pages

જ⁀➴ Everything went well at first, which is…not surprising. It was tame, and things seemed to be okay. At least that was until they found the first page.

જ⁀➴ The moment Slenderman started showing up, immediately all three of them are challenging him. Shiva with his lust for a fight, he was ready to throw hands the moment he showed his face.

જ⁀➴ Raiden was doing well, at least until they got jump scared the first time and he screamed. It actually startled Shiva by how loud it was, and Thrud was just trying to calm Raiden down.

જ⁀➴ They got close a few times to getting all eight pages, but they finally manage to do it after an hour or two. It was difficult, but they did it.

જ⁀➴ After they completed the game, they weren’t entirely sure what else to do…so they just play again to see if they can do something different, or just see how much they can fuck around while playing. Raiden and Shiva are ready to throw hands with the fictional monster, and Thrud is just trying to survive.

—

「 ✦ Round 6: Zerofuku, Buddha ✦ 」 Poppy Playtime

જ⁀➴ Zerofuku chose the game, thinking it would be tame enough for him to handle. He was ready, he was totally prepared— and then Huggy Wuggy disappeared from the stage and he was clinging onto Buddha.

જ⁀➴ Buddha was pretty relaxed, due to his abilities he was able to predict how the game would go and told Zero to look away whenever he thought the other would get too scared.

જ⁀➴ Zero isn’t too much of a fan of Poppy. Creepy possessed dolls? No thanks! He didn’t like that one bit. Even Buddha didn’t like her, and he was just trying every second to skip the scene with her talking to carry on.

જ⁀➴ The moment Mommy Long Legs showed up they both just noped out of the game and put it down. They were both done with it, not because Buddha or Zerofuku hates spiders, but they were both just so done at that point.

જ⁀➴ Zerofuku loves Candy Cat though, and Buddha found him a small keychain of the blue cat. He would’ve gone bigger, but considering the things he learned about the game and the whole NFT thing, he’ll just get the keychain.

—

「 ✦ Round 7: Hades, Qin Shi Huang, Alvitr ✦ 」 Telltale: The Walking Dead

જ⁀➴ These three are immediately invested. Interesting opening cutscene, and the protagonist seems fun enough. Alvitr loves Lee and Clementine, she’d do anything for those two.

જ⁀➴ Qin Shi Huang and Hades are able to make quick decisions thankfully, but there are some points where they actually have to think because they both choose a different option. It’s a hard debate, but they do pretty well.

જ⁀➴ Alvitr is getting attached to all the characters, though she sometimes gets a bit too passionate. Whenever there’s a character death in a choice she tries to avoid it as much as she can, but then has to accept the inevitable.

જ⁀➴ Qin also gets attached to Lee and Clementine, and is absolutely devastated when Lee gets bit and dies. He saw their bond as something him and Chun Yan had before she also passed on when he was twelve. He had to take a small break before they started the next game.

જ⁀➴ Hades was pretty okay during all of it, but he fell completely silent when the more sad moments in the game happened. He was okay on the surface, but it still hurt after getting attached to the characters.

—

「 ✦ Round 8: Beelzebub, Nikola Tesla, Göndul ✦ 」 Mortuary Assistant

જ⁀➴ These three actually get the main objective complete, though it takes them a while to get there. Beelzebub is already going over the ways to get rid of the demons, meanwhile Göndul and Tesla are paying attention to every little detail.

જ⁀➴ Tesla gets scared twice, whether it’s the first jump scare or the demon straight up on the wall next to him. He isn’t a loud screamer, instead he just huffs and continues on like nothing happened.

જ⁀➴ The moment they have to cremate the demon, Tesla just utters the words “that’s unfortunate” before the player character is blasted into the wall behind them. Göndul tries her best to not laugh as hard as possible, and Beelzebub just gives a shake of his head.

જ⁀➴ These three manage to get all the endings, though they actually struggle to get the bad endings because they just want to do everything correct.

જ⁀➴ Honestly it’s a bit of a relaxed gaming session, they work together to finish the game and they all seem to like the puzzle linked to it. Though Beelzebub always correct the ways the demons should be revealing themselves to a mortal, but it doesn’t last long after he gets every so slightly startled when he turns in game, and the demon is just right behind him.

—

「 ✦ Round 9: Apollo, King Leonidas, Geirölul ✦ 」 Resident Evil Village

જ⁀➴ Leonidas and Geirölul are immediately just powering through everything, they aren’t wasting anytime whatsoever. Get all the good weapons, and get moving. Apollo is quietly watching the other two for the first few minutes, as well as admiring all the details in the locations.

જ⁀➴ They all just share a look the moment they see Lady Dimitrescu, just for a minute before immediately getting back into the game.

જ⁀➴ The moment all three of them got to House Beneviento, all hell seemed to break loose. Leonidas just proceeded to charge in, and then went dead silent the moment he picked up the flask and all his weapons were taken. It just got worse. How could it get worse!

જ⁀➴ The encounter with Mother Miranda right after Heisenberg was WILD. Even Apollo was getting into it right as that happened, all three of them were so hyped up on adrenaline it was insane. There was no rest, they were completing the rest of the game in that sitting.

જ⁀➴ Once the game was over they weren’t done just yet, no, they wanted to play the rest of the series. All three of them were excited to continue, and Apollo just liked watching the other two play. Also because he didn’t want to ruin his nails, he just did them!

—

Enjoy this while I try my best to write something more for you guys 💜

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wabbyhazzy · 7 days

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I FREAKING LOVE YOUR DESIGNS FOR ABEL, CAIN AND SETH!!! (Seth is my favourite, I wanna munch him up)

But I got a question. Or maybe more than one lol hopefully you can answer them

So first, Abigail is the child of Eve and Lucifer, right? Was she conceived before or after Eve and Adam split up?

Secondly, Eve and Adam are back together or at least trying?

Third, since there were no humans besides the children of Adam and Eve does that mean they did... you know? Or did God create more humans in your version?

Forth, all the daughters of Adam and Eve are original characters and not based off on people from the bible?

Lastly, you said that Cain was a dad (?) in his character description, could you tell more about this?

Sorry for so many questions I'm just obsessed with your creations 😭🙏

1: in the AU with Lucifer x Eve. Eve when given mortality killed herself to be with Lucifer. Her and Adam never had kids. So heaven had to give Adam ANOTHER new wife (I’m not designing, don’t ask pls). And then the two would have Abigail later on.

2: the actual canon timeline story I have, they do get back together

3: god went back to Sims creator mode

4: all the daughters are actual daughters from different text of the Bible

5: Cain had a son named Enoch. Who he cared about dearly and was a much better father to then Adam was for him. I mean, Cain made an entire city and named it after his son so ya.

#and before anyone asks. Lucifer and Lilith in the Abigail au didn’t stay together

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ironbatpaperturtle · 24 days

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I have some questions about your time travel au

1 did Adam actually love Eve and if he did would he fall in love again

2 how would Lucifer react to the realization that Adam has changed

3 would Micheal know that something is wrong

4 how would the rivalry between Lucifer and Micheal play out

Sorry if this is a lot I’m just so invested in this au

Hello! Ty for the questions!! I don't think its alot, actuallly I'm pretty much a yapper and my thoughts go from one to another so the only problem you'd have would be how much I'm gonna yap in each question, I'll try to shorten it though :3

1.) In the past he did love her, but now I'd like to imagine that his closed off, walls up and everything. Therefore he'd make it a top priority to not get attached to her, romantically atleast. Not until he knows she'd choose him over that snake. Don't worry! He'll still care for her, but since he isn't what he used to be he'd probably act and teach her differently. Not in a bad way. Maybe like how he'd teach and act around the exorcist?

2.)He would be confused about Adams behavior and he'd sneak into Eden just to observe Adam trying to see what and how he changed. Actually I had this idea where he'd visit the forbidden fruit and be shocked to see a missing one. But I scrapped that idea since it'll cause to much plotholes and dialogue that needs a ton of fixing. Soo . . . yeah for this AU once you get an apple it immedietly regenerates. Back to our usual program, this is actually the time he'd start to spectulate if God perfect creation wasn't as perfect as he thought. He'd think that Adams soul was created wrong. Afterall, someone who hasn't eaten the fruit couldn't possible act like that. Sure he acted dominant with Lilith. But how Adam looked at Lucifer was . . . diffrent, it looked like someone who knows more about the whats outside Eden. Someone who knows more than just what God layed out to them. He'll go full detective mode to see what happned, get Michael to see what wrong with Adam. Smth like that.

3.) No, at least not until Lucifer would convince him to see that somethings wrong with Adam, then he'd consider it. Until then no, he thinks Adams just a silly human with a weird way of acting, he'd actually think its adorable. Also, since he doesn't visit all the time. So he won't catch how Adam's been creating and teaching Eve things that arent just naming of animals. And Adam would convince Eve not to tell a soul about what his teaching. He'd pull an excuse like "its a special thing only lovers like us should know" or "if you tell this then you'd ruin the suprise we have in store for the angels"

4.) Hmm . . . It's like a one-sided rivalry? Well in general it's a one sided rivalry. Because Michael doesn't see Lucifer as a threat or a rival, just a brother whose dumb enough to fall into temptation. When it comes to Adam though oof. Now this is different, Lucifer won't realize his growing fascination, he wont say liking, to Adam until he'd feel a gut churning reaction whenever Adam would smile at Michael, when Michael would put his hands on Adam and Adam wouldn't mind or when Adam would invade Michael space and Michel would just accept it. Michael for the most part would be more invested in Adam that he won't feel the presence of his brother. But if he did, then likes seeing his brother seeth in anger and jealousy.

He'd actually get used to Adam to the point where his usual stoic face would soften around him. No, Sera did not point it out. And be protective around him. So urm what was I saying? Ok in conclusion, Michael doesn't see Lucifer as a threat while Lucifer sees Michael as someone who prioritized Gods plan over his brother and is now trying to steal the first man. Lucifer you have a wife don't be greedy.

Adam during all this is just living his life, along with a wife whose creative as fuck in creating insults, and she hasn't even eaten that damned apple. Adam doesn't know if he should be proud.

+ Lilith would be the one to convince Eve to eat the apple since Lucifers trying to figure out what's wrong with Adam.

Again TY FOR THE ASKS IM GLAD YOURE INVESTED. SORRY I YAPPED TO MUCH 😔

#adamsapple #Adam's Time travel era

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