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emerald-star-productions · 5 months

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My Thoughts on James Somerton [RANT]

Before I begin this post, I highly recommend watching Hbomberguy's new video about Plagiarism. It's the main reason I'm discussing James right now & it provides a more detailed breakdown of what he did.

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So for those of you unaware, Queer YouTuber James Somerton has recently been revealed to be a full on plagiarist, having done so for SEVERAL of his videos and isn't exactly the nicest to other queer creatives in the same video essay field as him. Got it? Good. Again, watch the vid.

Upon watching the video and learning about what James did, I was in such shock. My eyes widened. I had begun to see other essayists I follow "feel vindicated" about him being called out. Unbeknownst to me, it's the second part of the video where he's called out.

Having finished the video, I'm not angry. No, I'm PISSED. When one of my best/trusted friends recommended James' videos to me back in 2021, I was immediately hooked. I was inspired by him to further my own craft as a queer video essayist at the time.

To now learn that James is nothing more than a plagiarist who steals other people's content and doesn't even have an original thought to begin with? I'm hurt by this. In my rant video about queer rep, I referenced & linked one of his videos.

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I can't even look at this video anymore. I don't even make essays anymore but I can't even look at one of my favorite essays in good faith anymore cuz the man I referenced may have plagiarized in said video I referenced. Do you have any idea how angry I am about this??

In a time where it's getting harder to be openly queer and to not feel scared by literally everything around me, James was that light in darkness that gave me hope. A queer creator who seem to be well-spoken and knew his shit. Come to find out that was never the case. I feel betrayed. He was the sole reason I kept making video essays in 2022. I almost stopped after The Glass Scientist vid but kept going cuz his vids inspired me to keep pushing to be a better creator. I donated money to his fucking production company. I was even one of his patrons for a short period of time. I left the patreon after he got into two different conflicts that pushed me away for the second half of 2022. He made some...not so great comments about Beyonce and her place as a queer icon.

And then he made a whole stink about not being a creator on Nebula. These two reasons, among other minor things, are what pushed me away from James for a good 6-8 months. I only returned to his content literally last month. Last. Fucking. Month. I thought maybe, just maybe, I could give him one more chance. His video on Red, White & Royal Blue was great...and then we get to Hbomber's vid...where apparently he plagiarized in that one too. I was suffering from second-hand embarrassment as Hbomber clocked everything James plagiarized and all of them happen to be videos I watched or took a look at. I felt cheated, betrayed and hurt. Cuz I thought James, at the very least, came up with his own shit. And as someone who works very fucking hard to write/rewrite their own works to near perfection & and takes writing very seriously, I was pissed off. I'm still pissed off now. I got sleep but struggled to stay awake cuz this was weighing on my brain. To now know that James is nothing more than thief who can't write his own shit, I'm disappointed. I pointed to him as one of my inspirations to push for more queer rep. No, he's not the reason I made Roomies...thank fuck for that. He didn't taint my one good thing. On the topic of Roomies, which has a lot of queer POC, I now question if he actually gave a fuck about other queer poc that didn't benefit him for a video. Cuz if we're gonna keep it a buck, most of his queer analysis has been mostly about yt folks. And let's not forget how this man regularly shat on women, both queer & straight. I know there's a discussion to be had about gay men being fetishized, but looking at it now, his views on women in general seem to be very...narrow-minded.

To wrap this up, I no longer support nor stand by James Somerton. Easy thing to do since I barely got back into his shit last month. To say I'm disappointed in you is a fucking understatement. No amount of apologizing is gonna fix this shit.

Good riddance.

#james somerton #hbomberguy #need to vent #queer #bi artist #queer artist #Youtube

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dduane · 1 year

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Get Our Whole Store For $44, Black Friday (-7) Edition

Seriously, I resent the whole Black Friday thing. Yet if you don’t do it, people think maybe you’re not serious about selling your stuff. (heavy sigh) ...Fine. But can we maybe get it over with a week early? Because I hate interrupting people’s holidays.

Many of our Tumblr friends know what this particular discount offer is about: they’ve seen it before. (Last time it was about replacing a dying computer. Which has indeed happened, and we’re waiting for its replacement to arrive: thanks to all who assisted!) ...But sort of fifteen hundred or two thousand more people are following this account than were last week about this time (and y’all are very welcome!), and I can’t help but wonder if maybe some of them would like some of this action: a lot of books for CHEAP. (...I mean, thirty-five novels and short works for $44? Looks bargain-ish to me.)

The list of the books on offer is on the product page linked to below. The New Millennium Editions of the Young Wizards novels are there, and all the current Middle Kingdoms works, and a lot more.

...So! For the next twenty-four hours, you can get our entire ebook store’s inventory for USD $44. Just go to this URL and put one of the “I Want Everything You’ve Got” packages in your shopping basket (make sure to tell the page which ebook format you want/need: Kindle, Nook, Kobo, iBooks/Apple or generic .epub), and then proceed to the checkout. You’ll find (when you’re in the checkout: it won’t do this until then) that the store applies your discount automatically, like this:

...Then you just make the payment by whatever method you prefer, and the store emails you the download links for the files.

(BTW, in case anybody accidentally just goes straight to the main product link [which doesn’t auto-attach the discount], the discount code is EVERY24. That way if it’s missing from the field in the checkout page, you can put it in yourself.)

...Anyway: Enjoy, all! Thanks for taking the time to check this out. And if this offer’s of no interest to you, would you please consider reblogging it for the attention of others who may? Please & Thank You. :)

(And one last note: UK folks—to our great annoyance, we can’t include you in this offer... so please forgive us. Due to Brexit we can no longer sell direct into the UK. Details on that are here. ...Our apologies again.) :(

#ebooks #sale #get our whole store for $44 #Black Friday #dear sweet Thoth but let's get it over with NOW

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bengiyo · 7 months

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If you had to pick one film that was your favorite from each unit of your Queer Cinema Syllabus, which ones would they be and why?

The Queer Cinema Syllabus grew out of a conversation that @shortpplfedup and I were having about what queer works I would show to a prospective BL fan, which eventually led to the creation of @the-conversation-pod. Captain Hands here has decided to run the gauntlet and has reached Unit 2.

Unit 1: Coming of Age Post-Moonlight

It's definitely Pariah (2011). This movie and Moonlight (2016) are having a complex conversation about Blackness and Queerness that feels so resonant to me. It's so rare that we see lesbians of any sort treated with this much complexity and sympathy in a contemporary setting. The complex web of lesbian interactions here isn't matched that often, and the only other movie that comes to mind it The Watermelon Woman (1996).

Unit 2: Race, Disability, and Class

Probably The Way He Looks (2014) because it's an easy layup to introduce folks to the genre. The intersection between Leo's blindness and his queerness gives the newer person multiple things to think about and forces them to consider how queer people are more than just their queerness. I also feel warmly about this film because it was a project we followed all the way from short film to movie, and I love that we were able to get the entire cast back.

Unit 3: Faith and Religion

You haven't gotten here, but this is where things start to get especially heavy. I think for this section I'm going with The Wise Kids (2011) because I really like the way Stephen Cone approaches the struggle with faith queer and non-queer people have in evangelical spaces. There's an honesty that I really admire. This is not an easy film, but it's lingered with me for over a decade.

Unit 4: Heartbreak Alley

This is the section of straight losses. I don't know that I ever want to watch it again, but I would probably select Bent (1997) as my favorite because the idea that we could still love even in the greatest of horrors spoke to me. I also think the performances in this adaptation are phenomenal.

Unit 5: Lesbians

I think we just passed Lesbian Visibility Day, so happy birthday, lesbians! This is actually a difficult selection because there are so many great films in this section. I think, today, I'm giving it to The Handmaiden (2016), but I almost chose Bound (1996).

Unit 6: Gems

I don't even need to look to know Big Eden (2000) is in this section. This section whips ass all around, but Big Eden is my favorite because there's just so much love all over this movie, and every new fact I learn about the BTS of it makes me love it more. Arye Gross and Eric Shweig did not have to go as hard as they did in this movie. The director left that choice to them a veteran actors and they did that 23 years ago. Nothing but admiration and respect. This is one of my most beloved films.

Unit 7: Asian Film Warm-up

This is a difficult selection because I think it depends on my mood, but for now, I'll go with The Stranger by the Shore (2020). This is a very Japanese take on second-chance romance. I like the way Japan approaches the quiet internalized homophobia that grips us. Some of the same things in Minato's Laundromat can be found here. It's also gorgeous and approaches sex in a frank way that I really loved.

Unit 8: Yaoi

Once again I don't even need to look to know that it's Yuri!!! On Ice (2016). This show is so goddamn gay. I know people feel like it was censored because of the kiss, but these two proposed to each other. It's what sports anime wishes it could be with the open queerness on display from so many characters. It's beautiful and so much fun.

Unit 9: Boys Love

I will not be selecting a favorite BL, but I will say that I really love The Boy Foretold by the Stars (2020) and it's a movie. I loved that we had a femme lead for once and that they explored what faith meant for femmes. It's a film that took the romantic lead's gay awakening very seriously and explored what being together might look like in a sequel called Love Beneath the Stars.

I'm looking forward to you completing the syllabus!

#answered #lgbt film #pariah #the way he looks #the boy foretold by the stars #the wise kids #bent #yuri!!! on ice #the stranger by the shore #big eden #the handmaiden #queer cinema syllabus

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occasionally-good-ideas · 1 year

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Amity Park

It’s been three years since the portal opened in amity, and since then the people have changed. ‘Liminal’ is what most people call it ‘death touched’ has also been thrown around. It made the people, the kids mostly, different, faster, stronger, higher endurance, almost silent, sensitive hearing.

to them it was normal, and besides! being able to run full speed for long distances was useful when your town was constantly under attack, and extra strength and agility is great for games!

Ever since the town got yoinked into the ghost zone amity’s had its own electricity and plumbing systems, the world outside the town doesn’t hear from the folks inside, and the people inside just don’t need to talk to outsiders, what would they even talk about anyway?? School? They don’t have ghosts, or the same standards! The weather?? ‘Hey did you feel that ecto-storm last night? I couldn’t sleep till it died down at 4!!’ Nope, definitely not the weather.

But this isolation forged a close community in the town, they were all in this together and they all knew it. Working parents, little kids and rebellious teens, when it came down to it they all had each others backs

The teens ecpetionaly bonded through CHAOS!! Pranks and sceems targeted at each other and the mayor, games of Extreme Tag (which was like a mix of tag, parkour, and the occasional gun) were the norm for the youth of amity park.

Shouting and laughter followed them as the kids ran up walls, across rooftops and through the streets and alleys of amity. For normal kids they would tire themselves out in three hours TOPS, but this is Amity, and the kids here are anything but normal. A single game could go from sunrise to sunset without even a water break, ‘if you’re thirsty get water. Just don’t get caught’ and who would back down from a challenge like that??

One summer they decided to do their own version of the hunger games, half in the woods on the outskirts of town and all through the streets, it was all fair game.

They built their own bases, going home was forfeiting, from holes in the ground to multi story lairs of wood and rubble. Food was foraged or stolen, if you got caught? Youre out, if you got tagged with paint (or otherwise incapacitated) you’re out. trust at your own risk. it goes till the last man standing.

Friendships were made and broken, old enemies became trusted allies, teens found love in the heart of battle and even more found the thrill of the hunt, the satisfaction of seeing your enemy fall and emerging victorious in the face of all odds.

It went on for a straight month before the parents had to band together to bring their kids home.

The Games were over, but no one forgot them, the high of adrenaline and Victory was one they could chase, and in the case of the towns sports coaches, one they could profit from.

The Amity Park Ravens became infamous for their endurance, their strength and speed, but mostly, their bloodlust, they were ruthless. Word of them spread through schools like a legend, the unbeatable, almost inhuman nature of them.

Outside of games they were always easy going and good sports about the competition, but on the field? Where Outsiders had to face off against dozens of amity parkers dead set on victory?

They were only whispered of with one name.

The Unkindness

TLDR- amity park kids take competition WAY too seriously and they end up scaring the shit out of the whole public school sports program

They also did a diy hunger games and I WILL read anything anyone makes about that bit (please tag me)

#liminal amity park #danny phantom #feral kids finally going apeshit #writing prompt #I found out a group of ravens is called an ‘unkindness’#and I NEEDED to make that a thing #the Hunger Games thing was a historical amity event #they call it The Games and reference it regularly

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otaku-girl-ao3 · 1 month

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Otaku_Girl's Fanfic Masterlist

Here is a quick overview of my complete Wonka (2023) fanfic back catalogue (and a few other Mathew Baynton related fandoms). I thought it'd be simpler to have everything in one place to find them more quickly 😊 The easiest way to follow my work and get the latest updates on all of my fics is via Archive Of Our Own - subscribing via my main Otaku_girl or my Wonka specific pseud AHatfulOfDreams.

Personal favourite

➼ Willy Wonka x Felix Fickelgruber

Sugar Daddy? Call Me (Sir)

Used to being in control during his working life, Willy wants (needs) someone to take control of his life outside of the inventing room. But trying to juggle his wants and desires without risking his dream may prove to be more tricky than he had anticipated.

Felix likes to be in control. A man of power, he’s not used to hearing no. Everybody has a price. Everyone. There’s no way some upstart chocolate maker would dare do anything but roll over for Fickelgruber, is there?

Read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53223310

long fic (150k+) ~ sugar daddy ~ bdsm ~ smut

➼ Dark!Wonka x Felix Fickelgruber

His (Darkness)

“Arthur. You cannot be serious.”

“As you can see, he is mainly housebroken. But he still needs to be put in his place on a regular basis. He needs to be taught a firm lesson, as it were. You can take Felix if you want him. Consider him my little welcoming gift to you. He’s not as pretty or as young as he once was, but at least he’ll keep thin for you. And he’s very obedient when remembers to mind his manners.”

“No, Arthur, please.”

“Do you think that you can handle him, Wonka? He is clearly in need of some remedial lessons.”

“I think I shouldn’t have a problem, Arthur. I thank you for the gift. I shall make sure to use it thoroughly before your return. Perhaps he could do with a reminder of precisely who he deserves to be owned by. Property doesn’t get to choose its master.”

Dark!Wonka. Post-canon. Please read the tags as they are updated. We're in for another long one, folks.

Read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54770731

Dove ~ dark ~ eventual happy ending ~ smut

x Reader fics

➼ Willy Wonka x Reader

(Pure) Imagination

You wouldn't go as far as to say you love your job, but you do love the freedom it gives you. One frozen night, you encounter a customer unlike any other, who seems determined to show you a world beyond your imagination. Wonka hires your services for the night. You end up with more than you bargained for. Read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52955674

light-hearted ~ sex work ~ smut

Bitter Choices & Unsweetened Dreams

“I thought she was your sister?” “What’s it to you?” “It’s a great deal to me.” Mister Top Hat says, voice even and calm. “Family is family. But property…” His eyes flick down the length of you once more, as though weighing up his words, before saying, “Well, property can change hands.”

When trying to escape capture, you ask for Mister Wonka's help. Sometimes, it's best to be careful what you wish for.

Read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53109055

Dark!Wonka ~ angst with a happy ending ~ nonsexual

The Most Fearsome Foe Known to Man

Willy accidentally angers the most fearsome of potential foes known to mankind: a librarian. Despite Noodle’s warnings, he doesn’t understand the importance of returning library books both in the state in which they were borrowed and, most importantly, on time.

Read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53069821

light-hearted ~ crack treated seriously ~ nonsexual

➼ Felix Fickelgruber x Reader

Make Me (Break Me)

“I can assure you that it is all there.” He sounds insulted that you would even consider checking that the amount in full is there before things get started. “Just like the first envelope this evening had the exact amount agreed upon.”

You send him a small placating smile. “It is nothing personal, Mister Fickelgruber. It is just business. Now. Strip."

Felix Fickelgruber has a very specific fantasy in mind — one that is perhaps best left in the hands of a professional.

Read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54227971

pro-domme reader ~ SSCK ~ smut

➼Multiple pairings

Forget Me (K)Not

“Please? Please. I need…”

“The boy is clearly a beta, Felix. Use your nose. No self-respecting omega would go around smelling like that. And have you not seen his clothes? The callouses on his hands? I know you have a weakness for pretty little things, Felix, but wake up. This is no more than another pathetic attempt by a money-grubbing, greedy child to get a leg up. So no. Absolutely not. I will not even entertain the thought.”

Read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54321145

A/B/O ~ first heat ~ omegaverse ~ smut

The Most (Un)Romantic Day of the Year

Arthur did not consider himself to be a romantic man. Yet even he felt it was not too unresonable to expect to spend their anniversary together.

The poly chocolate cartel engagement fic that one person kind-of asked for. Pure fluff.

Read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54916120

Romance ~ established relationship ~ marriage proposal

Dark Deeds and Bitter Choices

What if Mrs Scrubbit decided that they could make more money using Willy's talents elsewhere, outside of the washhouse?

The Arthur/Felix/Willy fic that nobody asked for.

Read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53986543

Dark!Arthur ~ dove ~ non-ssck ~ smut

➼ Willy Wonka x Arthur Slugworth

(A World Of) My Own

Wonka’s store stood, a hollowed-out husk, the remains burned to cinders. When the cartel came, what if Arthur felt a twinge of something he hadn’t felt in years? The pre-slash/ get-together fic that precisely one person asked for.

Read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54184039

Guilt ~ fix-it ~ accidental dating

➼ Willy Wonka x The Chief of Police

Three strikes

Willy thought back to their last meeting, to the freezing cold water, to the sharp whack to the back of his head. It was not a situation he hoped to repeat anytime soon."Officer, I—”

"That's the problem with all of you young upstarts. You never do think.”

While waiting to meet Felix for their date, Willy manages to draw the ire of the Chief of Police.

Read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54115921

misunderstandings ~ dove ~ hurt no comfort

➼ Felix Fickelgruber x Arthur Slugworth

Strength (In Silence)

Arthur is a man who knows his strength all too well. He thought that he was concealing his fears from Felix; yet the other man would never cease to amaze him in the most unexpected of ways.

A soft colleagues-to-lovers bdsm fic with gentle!Dom Felix and Submissive!Arthur, where Arthur is afraid of his own strength (and Felix is determined that isn’t a good enough reason for them not to fuck like bunnies).

Read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54916276

Kink negotiation ~ submissive Arthur ~ gentle dominant Felix

Empty

There’s no colour in the sky when Felix wakes up. There’s no warmth in his chest, or excitement in his gut. There is nothing but the unwavering certainty: he is not enough.

Read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54447592

depression ~ anxiety ~ hurt no comfort

For a Moment

“I have a spare room. It’s nothin fancy, but it beats any of the shelters I’m meant to recommend in these cases.”

“These cases?”

The chief looked down, before steeling himself and meeting Felix’s gaze once more. “I think we both know what I mean, Mister Fickelgruber, Sir.”

“I do not think that we do. You shall have to spell it out for me.”

It takes an average of seven attempts for a person to leave a domestic violent situation for good.

Read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54618847

domestic abuse ~ hurt no comfort ~ hopeful ending

Pet

“It really is quite simple, Arthur. I have certain…predilections when it comes to my partners. I enjoy a certain, shall we say, power dynamic within the bedroom.”

“You wish to be held down and told what to do? I can do that."

“You misunderstand, darling. I prefer to be the one doing the ‘holding down’ and ‘telling what to do’, as it were."

Arthur Slugworth was not a man who took orders. And yet, for Felix...he could learn to be.

Read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54652468

submissive Arthur ~ dominant Felix ~ BDSM

Things (Best) Left Unsaid

“You’re married, aren’t you?” “Er, yes? Yes I am Mister Fickelgruber.” “Do you ever regret it?”

Read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54726334

reflection ~ marriage ~ doubt

➼ Felix Fickelgruber x The Chief of Police

Just Give Me A Reason (Just A Little Bit's Enough)

“What brings you to my doorstep this evening, Chief? I do hope that I shall have the opportunity to counter whatever offer Arthur has made you before you proceed.”

The Chief looked at him blankly. He could see the tenseness around Felix’s mouth, the tightness around his eyes. Was that his hands shaking, just visible above his desk? Surely not. Felix didn’t get nervous. Not like that. Unless…His stomach dropped. “Before I—Jesus Christ Felix, I’m not here because Arthur sent me.”

When Felix misses a cartel meeting, The Chief of Police can't help but worry. Shameless smut ensues. Can be read as a stand-alone or a follow-on from Things (Best) Left Unsaid.

Read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55171597

submissive Chief ~ dominant Felix ~ smut

His Jewel

Francis hates the feeling of not being plugged. It had been one of Felix’s first requirements, when they first began their little arrangement. He had thought the other man was joking at first. Until he had seen the look of disappointment in Felix’s eyes when he had slipped a hand beneath his uniform trousers to check, and found his hole clenched tightly shut, not a single sign of use since the last time Felix had deemed him worthy of his time and attention.

Felix gets The Chief a special little something to help him think about him whenever they aren't together.

Read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54257518

butt plugs ~ bdsm ~ smut

x Crossover fics

➼ Wonka (2023) x You, Me and the Apocalypse

Darling boy

Felix Fickelgruber x Ariel Conroy

"You took something that belongs to me, Mister Conroy. And I shall have you repay that debt. One way or another."

Ariel thought that he was just hacking funds from another wealthy nobody. Too bad that Felix doesn’t take kindly to having his money stolen. Luckily for Ariel, there are other methods of repayment that he is willing to accept.

The Wonka x You, Me and The Apocalypse (crossover) that nobody asked for and like maybe two people will ever read 😂 (Please note: This is primarily set in the Wonka-verse, so you can read Ariel as an OC if you are unfamiliar with YMATA).

Read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54566395

Kidnapping ~ dove ~ happy ending ~ smut ~ bdsm ~ crossover

You can find me on the Wonka Discord, AO3, or Tumblr

❤️❤️❤️

I do my best to respond to every comment on AO3. Regular updates on WIPs guaranteed 💯

Other Fandoms

Ghosts

Take a chance on me

Pat Butcher x Reader

“Now c'mon then love, let’s see you. Only if you’re sure. I could fetch one of the others if you’d like? Julian’s got a ton of experience if even half of his stories are to be believed. And Thomas…well, if you like that sort of thing. I suppose he’s a good enough looking chap if you can get past his poetry. And all the love confessions about other women. And the moping. And the…general Thomas-ness.”

“I think I’d rather just keep this between the two of us if that’s ok with you, Pat? At least for now? Anything else sounds a little bit advanced for…”

“For your first time as a ghost?” Pat finishes your sentence for you, sending you a reassuring smile, “We’ve all been there."

“Haha. Yes. It will be my first time as a ghost. And also…maybe… my first time…”

Read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55039954

Gentle dom ~ reader insert ~ pure smut ~ virgin reader

Can't take it back (once it's been set in motion)

Thomas Thorne x Reader; Pat Butcher x Reader; Thomas Thorne x Julian Fawcett

“Patrick tells me that you are inexperienced in the ways of the flesh.”

“Pat said what?”

“Patrick was telling me all about your little…conversation," Thomas said delicately, a small, sly smile curling at the corners of his lips. "And I was wondering if perhaps I might be of some assistance?”

Thomas offers to help you lose your virginity. It would be a far more appealing prospect, if you weren't half convinced you were developing feelings for Pat.

This can be read as a stand-alone, or a sequel to my Pat/Reader fic ‘Take a chance on me’. Shameless smut which developed a little bit of plot.

Read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55376755

Misunderstandings ~ cunnilingus ~ smut ~ virgin reader

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roadkillremi · 10 months

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Hey omg I love the fics w mindy and randy in it you're litterally incredible!

I was wondering if you can do some sub! Randy x fem! Reader smut where reader takes Randy's virginity?

(Only if your comfortable ofc💓)

Yes yes! Thank you for asking!

I'm not good with smut sorry 🥹🫣

My Boy.

MasterList

Warnings : MINORS DNI, Language, Mentions being friends with benefits, mentions killer, p in V, unprotected.

Summary : Ask above. Randy and Reader are 18+.

After the Woodsboro murders you've all been coping differently. Sidney bought a Taser gun and studied up on the law. Randy focused on becoming a director and getting into college. But you could only focus on Randy, you'd thought maybe it was from almost dying. Even before the murders you and Randy were close in a way "friends" usually arent . You two would get caught kissing and flirting with each other all the time. But neither of you would ask the other out.

Which leaves you in the video store looking up at Randy. You took a big bite of your hot red licorice rope trying to get his attention. You were standing in the horror section for about fifteen minutes now. The licorice rope gently rests on the bottom of your lip. Randy kept looking over at you eyeing the candy rope. He knew your little game, he was a film geek after all. He smiled to himself before walking over.

"Do you need help?" He asked showing a bit of frustration. You tilted your head slightly, "No.. why?". Randy took a deep breath and looked at the movie selection.

"You've seen all of these." He says softly. He means you and him, together have seen them. You nodded, "I'm actually here to see you.". You turned towards him with a slight smile. His cheeks turned a slight pink, "Oh.. What's up?". You shrugged, "Missed ya.".

"Randy! Can you get to the front counter?!" Karen fussed. Randy nodded, "Yeah!" He called back. You rolled your eyes at her, "I think she likes you." You said as you followed him. He gave you a look, "No way. That's Creepy Karen.". You leaned in close to him, "Exactly.". You took a bite of your licorice rope, "Besides.". You leaned on the front counter towards him.

"She's been pissy ever since she saw me kiss you." You teased. Randy froze, he looked as if he was going to speak but lost it. You sighed looking down at the candy counter, "Any plans tonight?". Randy shook his head, "Gonna rewatch Dazed and Confused. That's all.". You nodded, "My folks are gone again. So if you wanna come over, it can be a date.". Randy quickly nodded, "Sure. That's if Creepy Karen allows me." He joked. You smiled, "Great just swing by after work!".

You heard a knock on your door distracting you from making your bed. You walked quickly to the front door with a giddy feeling in your stomach. You opened it with a sweet smile.

"Randy." You say stepping to the side to let him in. He walks in, "Y/N.". You close the door behind you, "Ready to watch a movie?" You ask walking towards him. He smiled, "Of course. Whatcha got to eat?". He went into the kitchen and looked around. You followed, "I have bagged popcorn and some sodas.". Randy looked at you, "Bagged popcorn?". You gave him a look, "My parents haven't gone grocery shopping okay?".

"It'll do." He said in a joking manner. You grabbed the popcorn while he grabbed some sodas. Yes I headed towards your room, "Not in the living room tonight?". You looked back at him, "It's comfier in my room.". He followed you, you threw the bag on the bed.

"What's the movie?" You asked, putting your hand out. Randy placed the VHS tape in your hand. You looked down to see Dazed and Confused.

"Seriously?" You took the tape out of its case.

"I told you I was rewatching it tonight." He smiled sitting down on your bed. You pressed play and crawled into your bed. Randy leaned back against the headboard hitting his head on the edge.

"Ow!" He whined. You laughed lightly, "Are you okay?". He glared at you, "No, your bed tried to kill me.". He touched the back of his head and lightly hissed.

"come here.." you moved closer to him trying to look at his head.

"There's no blood you're fine." You say lightly. He looks at you, "I don't feel fine.".

"Do I need to kiss it better?-" you teased. He glanced at you, "Aww call me here, Randy!" You cooed. You leaned towards him, his face went pink.

"I'm fine" he whined. You kissed his head, "There.". Randy looked at you, "Thanks.". You grinned, "It's my job.". You put your hand on his chest to push yourself back up. Randy cleared his throat, "Y/N?".

"Yes?" You asked, taking a handful of popcorn. Randy sat up, "We've been kissing a lot lately... And I was thinking-".

"I like you, Randy-" you interrupted. Randy blinked at you, "Don't interrupt me! I like you too I was gonna say we can y'know..".

"Date?" You asked with a light grin. He nodded, you smiled leaning towards him.

"Of course." You gave him a light peck on the lips. You leaned against him, "It's about time. I thought I was gonna die before you confessed your undying love for me." You teased.

"Whoa whoa! I said I liked you! Besides I was following the rules." He trailed off. You glanced at him, "Well there's no killer around...". Randy's eyes slowly widened, his cheeks went red. You smiled, "Relax. We don't have to-".

"No." He blurted. He awkwardly smiled, "I uh would like to... If you want to...". You cupped his cheek, "Of course. Remember if you want to stop at any point just tell me.". He nodded quickly, you leaned on top of collapsing your lips onto his. His hands roamed nervously on your back, you let out a soft laugh.

"What?" He whined, you smiled.

"You're so nervous. It's okay.". You say softly leaning back down. You left a trail of kisses down his jaw and neck. His breath hitched, his hand latched onto your sides. You left a small hickey on his neck before peaking up.

"Alright?" You whispered. He nodded, you sat up to take your shirt off. Randy laid in a trance, his eyes devouring you. You looked at him, "Do I need to undress you?" You teased. He looked away, his face full of embarrassment. He sat up and took off his shirt following your lead. You slid off your bottoms kicking them to the side.

"Can I?" Your hand gently moved towards his belt. He nodded, you unbuckled his belt before unbuttoning his pants. You slide down his jean revealing his batman boxers. You smile glancing at him, "Shut up" he mumbled.

"I didn't say anything." You teased. You gave him a small kiss as you climbed onto his lap. He softly groaned as your clothed core aligned with his. You teasingly brought your weight down onto him. He let out a breathy moan, he grabbed your hips keeping them still.

"Still okay?" You whisper. He nodded, "Jus' feels so good." He whispered. You let out a small laugh, you snaked your hands between the two of you. You lifted yourself up to pull him out of his boxers. Randy took heavy breaths as you grabbed his member. The tip was pink and leaking with pre-cum. You let go of him causing Randy to whine. You tsked at him, "I'm taking off my underwear. So impatient.". You shimmied the fabric off of you throwing it behind you.

You realigned yourself and gently sunk down onto him. Randy let out a whiney moan as he grabbed onto your thighs. You lowered yourself letting out a soft moan.

"Ready?" You asked softly. He nodded, you began to go up and down. Randy tensed up against you immediately. Randy squirmed, "I.... We forgot.. a condom.." he mumbled between moans. You shook your head, "It's okay.". You grabbed his shoulder for support as you sped up. His moans grew more needy and louder.

"So close... 'm sorry.." he whined.

"It's okay. You're doing so well baby" you cooed. Randy moaned in response, "Feels s' good." He moaned. He pushed himself up a bit out of need, "You... You can cum." You offered. Randy shook his head, "What about you?". He continuously tried to push his hips up into you as he held himself back. You moaned out softly, "I'm close too..". Randy nodded and took it as confirmation to continue to push his hips up.

He whined and sped up as he released into you. He leaned back letting out a moan. Your thighs were shaking lightly as you continued to bounce on him.

"How did you like it?" You softly asked. Randy stared up at the ceiling, "So fucking good..".

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brittle-doughie · 1 year

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Ayy, it's 🥀 anon here with some angst: y/n cookie, time and time again, seems to wander off into the woods and leave flowers, trinkets, and food near a seemingly plainrock every year during the specifically cold seasons, sometimes singing sad, bittersweet love songs to it. When asked by other cookies, they say very little and seemingly become sadder. When later -stalked- followed by concerned cookies, they learn about the rock: it's the unmarked grave of y/n cookies late spouse and that same day was their anniversary

(P.s. thanks so much for adding me into the anon cult, I hope your doing great and taking breaks: you deserve it♡)

The Flipside

Letting go can be hard…

It always seemed that it was this time of year that made the usually bright Y/N Cookie to have their mood dampened. For one day in particular would they go missing for the entirety of that day, it left your fellow cookies wondering where you were during that time missing. Some folks tried taking you out to cheer you up during these colder months, doing your favorite activities, just letting you do whatever you want together.

But…nothing works in the end.

Your mood would go back to being more mellow and dull. You’d excuse yourself especially when it came to cookies taking you out to perceived dates, leaving them confused and worried. Well this time, they would follow you the day before the one where you usually vanished, they wanted to know what’s gotten you into a dour mood.

You were carrying a bouquet of flowers and some other items as you made your way deeper into the woods. At first, your hidden audience thought you were seeing someone in secret, but they kept all thoughts as guesses until they actually see it. They see you go further and further…

Until you stopped at a headstone within the snow, you placed down the flowers and items as you now start to whistle a tune from long ago, to you at least. You swayed your body from side to side as you did so as the snow fell around you.

Y/N Cookie: “I’m here now, my special cookie…today marks another year without you…it hurts not sharing it with you, you’ve shown me how to really be myself and now look where it got me. Surrounded by many cookies who consider me their bestest friend! I know you would’ve wanted me to move on..but if you’re here right now, listening to me…know that I’ll forever cherish you and the time we’ve spent together. My dearest….”

You knelt down in front of the now known grave of your lost loved one as you silently cried to yourself…meanwhile in the bushes far from you…

Mint Choco Cookie tried everything he can to comfort a sobbing Cocoa Cookie, who just wanted to come out from the bushes to give you hugs and kisses. She hated seeing you there all alone and crying to yourself, with no one there to comfort you. She would quietly plead to Mint Choco to let her go to you, but despite him also wanting to go comfort you too, he knew that this was a moment you needed to yourself and told Cocoa this, who ultimately agreed with him, but it still pained her heart to see you like this. She and Mint are so coming over tomorrow to spend the day with you..

How did Croissant Cookie not know about this!? She was your bestest pal! Pals know a whole lot about each other! If she had known your disappearances were for a cookie you loved long ago, she would’ve backed off to allow you to grieve. She felt stupid for not coming to this conclusion sooner, she wanted to make it up to you later for misunderstanding your disappearances. She was going to help you feel better. Together.

Kumiho Cookie now felt absolutely terrible. That confession long ago was your attempt at a second chance at love and she treated it so carelessly, it actually made her heart ache. She wished she took it seriously rather then it just being her charm again, if this was how much you held a past relationship so dearly to you. It made her more determined to capture your heart again and she’s not giving it up this time..

Lilac Cookie…he should’ve known. He knew better. He should’ve just let your business be your own, but he was immensely curious as to what you were up to in these woods and now felt great shame in knowing that it was to mourn a former flame. Seeing your sadden form, it ached his heart. He takes your feelings much more seriously after this and cookies who try to toy with them will be dealt with…

She can’t imagine the pain you feel when you visit something of your past that you cared so deeply for. She’s fortunate that DE is still around to keep her going, but seeing you in pain at this moment or anything involving your plight never fails to lighten her expression from the usual scowl she gives others minus Poison Mushroom. This only encourages Pomegranate Cookie’s efforts to have you join the CoD, they will care for and love you so much if you give them the chance and take their hands.

Caramel Arrow Cookie grew worried of your sudden disappearances during this day in particular and decided it was time to follow after you to make sure you were safe from any dangers that came for you. Unlike Pomegranate, she knows how it feels to lose cookies close to you, the Altar can attest to that. She wanted to gently approach from the wilderness to comfort you in your time of need, but this was your former partner you’re mourning for, a cookie that was close to you specifically, it was for the best that she just kept watching from a distance. She’s a lot more gentle with her mannerisms with you during the winter seasons from then on.

The cookie(s) keeping tabs on you had to hide as you finished grieving and started to make your way back home. A long look towards the grave.

With this revelation known, during the winter seasons, competition becomes more tame and passive to allow you more space to remember the time you’ve spent together with your former love. When the time was right, maybe you could get back into the game, and the cookies hope they’ll become your choice.

#brittle answers #cookie run x reader #cookie run x you #cr x reader #crk x reader #cookie run kingdom x reader #cookie run angst #cocoa cookie #mint choco cookie #pomegranate cookie #caramel arrow cookie #lilac cookie #kumiho cookie #croissant cookie

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uncannyalien · 2 months

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Asking some AU comp competitors & supporters:

- Are there any AUs you weren't familiar with that have recently caught your attention, or that you would like to learn more about?

- What are some AUs/fanworks that you enjoy, and would encourage more people to go check out? (Doesn't have to be in the comp!)

Oh Stars, where do I begin?

The server of the competition is full of so many creators, many of whom I have never met or known of their AUs before(I'm still quite new to the fandom), and it's been great engaging with all of them!

I can't list every single AU I wanna learn more about, there's too many!

I'm very intrigued by Aberration by probablynotarutabega whom I'm going up against in the coming bracket, and I literally spent some time today reading what they have available so I could get to know it better! I hope we're at least able to team up!

There's also the Revelations Timeline AU by idk im just here now who has a really cool insight into how the Krang and the magic system works in their AU! I'd like to say we've become friends over this little time

Of course I have to talk up some of my friends AUs!

Minecraft Isekaid by songdrop (who has teamed up with Mitosis by Varian_dislikes_cheese) is a really cool AU about the rise boys getting stuck in Minecraft but as they explore things are not quite how they know. They're incredibly talented at art and storytelling and have so many ideas it's absolutely insane!

There's also the Soulmates(Evil) AU by Evan that's heavy Mikey angst and it's wonderful to see the other characters beating up MeatSweats

Oh dear this is gonna be long isn't it ehe. There's just too many to count!

The Employees is done by multiple folks and follows a collective of OCs that work for Senior Hueso

Minor Interference by bambiraptorx is on my To Read list where the turtles accept Draxum's offer of training with him

As for ones that are not in the competition I have many suggestions:

Clean up Crew also by songdrop, a small fic that's part of his like, 6 AUs in one universe the guy's an idea machine!

I discovered A Mirror's Reflection by ratsistryingtheirbest here on Tumblr as just a "what if" post and I may or may not have sort of dared them into making it. And it's really good! A rise Future AU where Leo, Mikey, and CJ are sent to another reality post-apocalypse where their brothers survived. And won the war.

The Nexus Heir by ItzCoffee is a fun AU where Leo gets manipulated into Big Mama's care

I'm not particularly one for fics that have romance/shipping or the Next Generation trope, but Little Warrior by NovelistServant is a proud exception for me. This is an AU where Future Raph gets sent back in time with a baby CJ and things sure do happen. Prepare to cry, prepare to laugh, prepare to cry again but happy this time. I've read it twice

A Tale of Spirits by unorthodoxx recently updated and I'm so excited with where the story is going. You like turtles? You like ATLA? You're gonna like this one

And last but certainly not least, I'd be remiss if I didn't shameless plug my own AU: Remember Forever. I've written plenty of stories before but this is my first fanfiction and it's the longest project I've had so far. It's a post-season 2 pre-movie rise AU where Mikey discovers an alien(that is definitely not my self-insert) and shenanigans ensue. You can of course learn more at my masterpost which is pinned on my blog and by giving it a read! I'm trying my best to write some fluff while also acknowledging that these characters have Gone Through Things.

There are so many more AUs than these that I've mentioned so seriously go check everyone out! Thanks so much for the ask and I wish everyone a great time in the competition!

#tmnt au comp #tmnt au competition #tmnt au competition 2024 #remember forever au #rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #writeblr #ao3 fanfic #unpause rise of the tmnt

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thrashkink-coven · 7 months

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Let’s talk about Angels!

Hello all,

I am an eclectic witch and I have been working (seriously) with a few angels, mostly Jophiel, Haniel, and Raziel, and a couple others, for about 4 or so years.

Many folks on seem very interested in summoning and contacting angels. I wanted to share some of my insight with you guys as someone who works primarily with angels. I’d love to hear your guys’ perspectives on them as well.

Something to keep in mind: My experiences and perspectives on these infinitely complex and impossible to understand entities are not the one true most valid ones. My experiences will be different from yours and that is okay and to be expected. While we can always converse and theorize together we must always respect and understand that we really truly don’t know shit 🖤🖤

So you wanna contact an angel. What does that mean?

One of the most important things we humans have to consider when working with angels is that our matter of perspective is super important to how we classify entities.

What are considered angels to some, are gods and demons to others. We consider angels to be angelic because of their nature and attitudes, but it is incredibly important to remember that just because one entity may be called “angel” and the other “demon” does not mean that the angel is this happy go lucky chummy fellow, and the demon is some evil bringer of chaos. Both of these entities are capable of being kind, loving and helpful, and both will quickly put you in your place if pushed to. Both will be willing to work with you regardless of your faith and what gods you follow. The difference between these two entities is more political than physiological.

I have consistently observed with many angels that you do not necessarily have to be religious to work with them. They are very subordinate to the idea of God, whichever God that may be for you, but it is not mandatory. They may ask you to consult “God”, but I have come to realize that they mean something totally different than we do when they use the word “God.” (That is super super important imo)

When I first started working with Jophiel, I only “worshipped” the mother goddess. With him we dabbled with YHVH and some others before becoming comfortable where we are now. With every God I’ve worked with, my angels have adjusted accordingly. Some may speak occasionally about “The one true God”, but again, I don’t think that’s something that we have the best understanding of as a species yet.

Invoking angels “in the name of ______” increases their strength and likelihood of manifesting in my experience as, angels naturally serve and aid God. God means many things. For example, an angel I work with who is very close to Father Lucifer will manifest far better when invoked in the name of Lucifer. My saint Haniel manifests with greater ease when invoked in the name of The Mother Moon or Lady Venus. I’ve played around with this a lot and it seems that angels just like to be aided in their energy when we call on them by a “greater” power. Some food for thought!

Believing in the angel themselves definitely is required as this is a demonstration of faith, but angels are not as concerned with religion as you may think. Some may insist that you are some kind of believer, some are very closed to YHVH, others are less so. Some will want you to be some kind of monotheist, others won’t have an opinion on that whatsoever.

Different angels have different natures, classes, and orders. It’s a good idea to have a very great understanding of angelic hierarchy before doing any kind of work with them. A seraphim for example may present themselves far differently than a Cherub, an archangel, or a lesser angel. Fallen angels may act differently as well. Each angel will have their own energy, opinions on things, and correspondences. Some angels are very fond of humanity and are very willing to be of assistance in magical operations. Some angels are very indifferent towards humanity and might not want anything to do with you. If you’re repeatedly being told no, do yourself a favour and leave them alone.

Don’t make this mistake of underestimating them because they are classified as a “lesser” angel or are not considered a “Great Saint” like Micheal or Raphael. The order of the hierarchy does not necessarily speak to importance or power, just their distance away from us on Earth.

Some angels are more accustomed to modern humans, crack jokes, and are in the know about pop culture , others may speak in very broken english and lots of things may seem to go over their heads. Some angels are very physical and will want to touch or caress you, some will keep their distance. Some angels enjoy sex and others don’t have any ability to experience it. All angels have a completely different set of morals than we do. They may seem aloof or ornery at times. Don’t assume they’re evil just because they don’t come off as enthusiastic.

No two angels are the same. Don’t contact Raphael and expect the experience to be anything like contacting Raziel. Make sure you know exactly who you’re contacting and that you have a good reason. Know what they are all about and what they represent. Don’t assume that what worked for one guy is gonna work for someone else. Likewise I suggest not talking badly on any other entities while in an angels presence, even demons or beings you think are “bad”. Many of these angels are related in ways we might not know. Don’t make the assumption that Micheal “hates all demons”. Talking bad on Asmodeus isn’t gonna gain you points with Raphael.

Avoid testing them by asking them questions like what happens after you die. Some may humour you but it’s generally considered rude and they are not here to spill the beans on all of the great secrets of life. Some might, but always ask these questions with reverence and accept “none of your business kid” as a valid answer.

Angels are quite proud of their names and will usually announce them upon arrival. Likewise they will likely correct you if you have them confused for someone else. Always be willing and ready to interrogate your angel in a safe and respectful way. It is important that you are knowledgeable on tricksters.

When you’re working with angels, be sure not to underestimate them. They are not your pets and they do not exist to make you feel good about yourself. They do not exist to simply tell you good things. They are brutally honest.

Higher angels, like Archangels, are *intense* and burn *very bright*. I’ve seen many people share the idea that unlike working with a demon, there are no prices to be paid when working with an angel. This is only half true. Angels usually don’t accept offerings, they don’t make traditional deals like other spirits may. But, they are an incredibly holy and intense thing to witness. Their presence can be mind altering. You really really need to mentally and physically prepare yourself for such an encounter. They will never make any attempts to harm you on purpose (unless you’re extremely out of line), but it can happen on accident if you aren’t being careful. It is in many ways like looking directly into the sun. This will likely exhaust you. Take breaks and don’t go too hard too fast. Some angels are more considerate than others.

Many higher angels don’t fuck around. These guys are not really beginner friendly. An angel like Michael is a holy warrior and is going to expect that you are committed and disciplined. He is a gargantuan energy and the ultimate protector. Do not flagrantly call upon his energy. Not to say that Michael is not incredibly kind and considerate, but that his energy is so INTENSE that his presence should only be invoked with intention.

The angel I work most often with sometimes appears in a form that is so huge I cannot see the top of him, like a mountain. He can appear truly terrible like an Erdrich horror. Other times they can appear so bright that it feels like my eyes might fry out of my skull. Sometimes they can be extremely loud, like cracking thunder. Other times they can seem extremely quiet, like they’ve muted the whole world. They can appear in human or animal form. Male, female, or something in between. Sometimes they just appear as rays of light or waves of energy. We must be not afraid even when they are being weird as fuck lol.

There are many methods. I like to use sigils and scrying mirrors as well as their names as a mantra for meditation. Whatever works for you is valid. 🖤🖤

#witchcraft #magick #occultism #witch community #paganism #witch aesthetic #demonology #grimoire #pagan #witchblr #angels #angelology #archangel #biblically accurate angel #seraphim #cherubim

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nurgletwh · 6 months

Text

*pokes head up*

*sees the world still exists*

Huh. Look at that.

On a more serious note, having essentially dropped off the face of the earth from the perspective of almost everyone who's following me here or my works on AO3, I am alive. This was not in any great danger of changing any more than the normal (one can always get hit by a bus, for example), but it turns out I haven't been well.

My first clues probably should have been long before I found myself sleeping eighteen hours a day for 'no damn good reason,' but since there were also some extremely difficult and terrifying weeks at work and the stress that goes with it, it crept up on me.

Unlike previous times I've disappeared, it wasn't related to my mental health this time. Not that it's any better, really, because it turns out that my diabetes was creeping out of control. I wasn't monitoring the way I should have been, and I missed a doctor's appointment without rescheduling (which is terrible when you have ADHD, because fucking remembering to call someone to reschedule is damn near impossible).

Anyhow.

It turns out that chronic high blood sugar makes a person feel all sorts of crappy in vague and indistinct ways that, in and of themselves, don't really trigger a sense of 'something is wrong, I should see a doctor.' It just leaves me feeling 'bleah' and 'ugh' and unable to do anything but sleep when I stop moving.

I am so far behind on anything and everything fun. I owe everyone who has a pending comment on my works a deep and heartfelt apology. I didn't mean to disappear. I know several of you have been worried, and it turns out at least semi-rightfully so. Not that there was much any of you could do about it, which really just makes it feel worse. I apologize for any stress and worry this may have caused. I can't promise to never do it again, unfortunately, because I am:

a) human b) a human with ADHD, and c) a human who is horrible at keeping up with communication the way she should.

I want to do better; I will try to do better. I have actually managed to continue writing, albeit at an exceptionally reduced rate. That's picked up markedly in the last week or so now that my meds have been adjusted. Hopefully, it continues to pick up. However, I don't think things are quite where they need to be based on my personal blood sugar testing, but it's a strong improvement. I still don't have much energy, but when I get home after work and sit down, I only sleep for forty-five minutes to an hour, not four followed by crawling into bed for the night and still not feeling rested in the morning.

I hope to start working my way through my inbox on AO3. If you're following me here and see this before I get to your comment, hi! ♥ Know that I have read them all and they give me sparks of joy to think about, but I have been very emphatically squashing any guilt at my non-response for now. Feeling guilty is a potent anti-motivator for someone with ADHD. It makes a growing mountain that I can run away from like an Olympic sprinter, which means that the only way I will successfully get back on track is to not feel guilty or compelled, which is the opposite of how it works for many folk.

I also seem to have gotten into some fucked-up screwy mindset where my brain is telling me I have to have something ready to post (or nearly so) before I can answer comments now. Which is just... wrong. So very, very wrong. I'm working on that, too. Blood sugar fixing first, however.

Take care, everyone. I've definitely been thinking about all of you and have seriously missed having the conversations and speculations that go with successfully generating writing but also require successfully responding to comments. It's been a seriously sucky couple of months; here's hoping things improve.

♥

#personal stuff #my health #my life #mental health stuff

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notallthoseinheadspace · 3 months

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If you have boobs, listen to them.

I’m not great about listening to my body - chronic pain and working manual labor jobs for thirty years mostly make me want it to shut up, because pain is very loud sometimes.

But last June when I was at the doctor for something else (which we still haven’t figured out) that hurt a lot more, he asked if I was having other problems, because he doesn’t often see me.

‘Eh, my left breast has been kind of uncomfortable for a little while?’

Fortunately, he not only listens, but takes things seriously. Diagnostic mammogram, several years before I should have needed them for routine testing.

‘Hmm,’ said the mammogram techs. ‘Let’s biopsy that.’ (‘That’ was an abnormality in my left breast that appeared to be shaped like a piece of macaroni. Amused concern about boob noodles abounded.)

As much as I try to ignore my body is roughly how successful my body actually is at ignoring lidocaine. The biopsy - which was mammogram guided and from a medical technology standpoint, really cool! - hurt like blue blazing fuck.

‘Hmm,’ said the folks who examined the biopsy. ‘That’s weird but doesn’t appear to be cancerous, at least?’

(It still hurt. It continued to hurt worse as time went on.)

It turns out - because there was a history of ovarian cancer from my father’s side of the family and gene testing was done to check for other factors - that I’m also positive for a BRCA 2 mutation that increases my lifetime risk of breast and ovarian cancers to roughly stratospheric levels.

Thanks, dad.

So. Boobs off? Boobs off.

As it turned out, boobs off was going to take a length of time that was becoming increasingly unbearable since the pain in my breast was continuing to get worse.

‘Can we just get the noodle out?’ I asked, rather despairingly, and apparently we could!

Having a section of my boob the size of half a deck of cards excised did not hurt at all, despite my worries following the biopsy.

It did, however, show that I had cancer.

So, boobs are coming off - in a week and a half, actually, which is engendering very complicated emotions (none of them about gender, funnily) followed by chemo, possibly radiation, then reconstruction, since I’m getting it done with my own tissue rather than implants.

It’s going to be a really long year.

So, yeah, listen to your boobs, regardless of sex and gender. Breast cancer hits plenty of men, too.

And if anyone wants to help make my recovery a little easier I have a wishlist?

#personal #cancer #breast cancer #this year has been so long and it’s only January

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wanderingavians · 3 months

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Max Rambles: Most Ardently

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I’ve GOT to talk about this book !!! I’ve decided not to frame this post as a review because I’m honestly just going to be rambling here.. anyways, let’s get to the point. There may be spoilers in this post, though I haven’t typed far enough to know yet. Seriously just typing along as I go here, folks.

This was my fourth book finished this month and out of all four I think this one and Hell Followed With Us were the two I couldn’t put down. I mean I was having to resist the urge to read this at work. Work! The brainrot is far too real. That being said, the book was fabulous. It was fairly short and incredibly enticing read. Most Ardently is a book reimagining Elizabeth Bennett as Oliver Bennett, a trans man in the Regency era. All of the social expectations of the time make for plenty of hurdles to jump, and it made for a very satisfying climax and conclusion. Hell, all of it was satisfying. I enjoyed every minute of this book and it definitely didn’t over stay its welcome. In fact, I would have easily eaten up another fifty or one hundred pages if that had been in the cards for this book. Seriously, it was that great.

Most Ardently was flavorful. The descriptions of the environments, clothes and even the sounds surrounding Oliver was just a delight to read. I could easily picture everything described. Everything was vivid. And I just love picturing the fashion and cities of that time period. The architecture! It’s all just really fascinating to me and I devoured every little description given to me like I was starving. Which, I was. I need more books that fit into this little niche of lgbtq folk in the past that I’m so ravenous about.

I felt Oliver’s emotions on such a strong level. His joy at finally being able to express himself in a way that feels natural to him is something that I can certainly relate to and it was really refreshing to read about those moments. I felt! Emotions! The happiness I felt for him at the conclusion of this novel was just so good.

Things turned out okay- amazing, even. I was so so overjoyed to read a story that involved a trans person coming out who received acceptance from both parents when everything was revealed. It was refreshing for me.

Also, real talk, I’m not as intimately familiar with the original source material as most people are. I’m officially putting the Pride and Prejudice on my TBR after finishing this one. I’m only now just getting back to reading and I’ve already got this huge pile of books to read beginning to grow. I love it though, and I’m definitely enjoying returning back to reading. Most Ardently has only served to make me more enthusiastic about continuing to read, and for that, I thank it. I’ll definitely be returning to this one sooner rather than later.

#most ardently #oliver Bennett #book reading #book review #book recommendations #booklr #trans books #lgbtq #lgbtqia #lgbtq books #books and reading #romance books #pride and prejudice #pride and prejudice remix #maxaxelpostsstuff #someone recommended books to me I need it #most ardently book #gabe cole novoa

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minijenn · 5 months

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Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: Shrek

The Man. The Myth. The Legend himself. Shrek is love. Shrek is Life.

Aside from being an Endless Meme Factory though, Shrek is a pretty great movie in its own right! There's this certain charm to the first Shrek, a certain sort of innocence to it (despite being so blatantly made to make fun of Disney). This really was Shrek before it became everything it originally stood against, its Shrek in its most Pure Form.

As a result, we get a really great introduction to this world and these characters. Shrek himself is wonderfully written here, we really get to peel back the layers (pun intended) of this curmudgonly loner as he interacts with Donkey and Fiona and eventually see him come to genuninely care about them both and its really sweet. He's also just hilarious, but we all already knew that.

Donkey is always fun, though I think maybe he rambles on a bit too much at points? Like I think they just put Eddy Murphy in the recording booth and let him do whatever he wanted and sometimes it works, other times, I'm with Shrek in wanting him to just shut the fuck up. Fiona is cool, weird and sassy in all the right ways and serves as a great foil to Shrek, while Farquaad is a little ass man who is so much fun to hate.

The plot is really well put together, and while there are a few holes in it here and there (that breakdown of communication between Shrek and Fiona going into the final act), for the most part, its a really solid story that's a lot of fun to follow along, with some great jokes and action along the way.

The animation has... aged, I won't deny that. But for 2001, it is still very impressive, especially when you look at some of the texture work. I definately think our main cast gets a glow up in Shrek 2, but for their first outing, they look fine enough. The music is also solid! Not many animated movies pull off a pop soundtrack, but this one really does (All Star is iconic for a reason, folks) and the score is also very beautiful at times (the castle escape music is so intense and perfect).

At the end of the day, I think its easy to see why Shrek became the cultural juggernaut that it is today. It's a very memorable movie, one that was so unique and unlike anything else most had seen at the time of its release. It's also just... so damn funny, like seriously, there are some jokes that still get me laughing out loud. It follows a trend I've noticed with early Dreamworks movies where it's not really made for kids, but its not quite for adults either. In that sense, its made for well... everyone to enjoy. As animated movies should be. Early Dreamworks understood that so well. (idk what the fuck happened bc now they seem to have mostly forgotten that philosophy)

But yeah, Shrek is good. If you haven't seen it in a while, give it a watch cause its a genuinely good time.

Overall Rating: 8/10

Verdict: WHAT ARE YE DOIN IN ME SWAMP

Previous Review (Chicken Run)

Next Review (Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron)

#jen watches #dreamworks watch #jen tortures herself with every dreamworks animated movie ever #shrek #shrek 1 #dreamworks

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ninja-muse · 1 year

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You know how sometimes you read a blurb and think, "This was written for me, I'm going to love it", and then you start reading and think, "This was totally written for me, I'm going to love it", and then you get to the end and think, "Yes, loved it!"

Perilous Times isn't a perfect book but it is a blast of a debut. It's full of off-kilter Arthuriana, humour that goes from light to dark at the drop of a hat, "sure, why not" moments, and political commentary that's both funny and way too real. The main characters were either intensely lovable or relatable or the sort of folks you love to hate, and sure, I saw some of the twists coming, but not all of them, and the ride, you guys, the ride that is this book…

Please add this to your TBRs if you enjoy any of the following:

blowing up fracking facilities and accidentally releasing dragons

protagonists who want so badly to make the world better but everything's so broken, how do you even do that?

protagonists who've been around long enough everything is an "oh no, not this again"

antagonists who are certain they're the good guys

antagonists who know they're the bad guys and don't care

"Can we trust this weirdo?" "I used to kill Nazis." "Great, you're in."

man-out-of-time moments

English folklore turned on its head and occasionally used to hurt you

a funny near-future that takes climate change seriously

skewering the worst parts of political movements

the Kingdom of Wales

grab-bag world-building that shouldn't work but does

niche historical references

diverse protagonists who just are

Terry Pratchett, Ben Aaronovitch, and/or T.H. White

Like I said, though, it's not perfect. Specifically, it does the thing where characters don't "get" stuff when they maybe should so that the author can really drive the themes home. But, like, that was really the only failing for me? And it gave me resurrected Arthurian knights and a recurring dragon and wacky magic and Faustian bargains and so many more tropes that are my catnip that I'm still giving this an 8/10. (Or, well, a 7.9 if I'm going to be more honest.)

It's out May 23. Watch for it!

#books #booklr #bookblr #adult booklr #book covers #book photography #my photos #book reviews #arcs #upcoming releases #fantasy #Perilous Times #Thomas D. Lee #read in 2023 #book recommendations

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frameacloud · 1 year

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The above is a page of letters sent to WomanSpirit, a lesbian feminist spirituality quarterly magazine. The letters were published in the year 1975, on page sixty-three of the Fall Equinox issue (September). The black and white illustration in the corner is a tree with its leaves falling.

One of the letters on this page is from the Elf Queen's Daughters, a Pagan group of elves who were predecessors of the otherkin community that would start decades later, in the year 1990. The EQD called one another sisters regardless of gender. Some of the EQD were transgender women. Transcript of the relevant letter:

"We do find womanspirit in all human beings. It is all a matter of degree. Who did possess womanspirit in abundance last week, may be possessed this week of no more than a complaining disposition and an attitude that could turn away the dog that would love them and the lover that should blow away such a curious possession as the petty and fussy woman, picking over last week's ecstacy until all that's left is the paper-back novel stuff. And, who did last week bicker about and gossip with the 'bull-pen' folk at work about whatever was most small and mean, may this week be 'the elf queen's daughter' and call down hawks from the blue skies and bring love and freedom from the stars and womanspirit pure from The Great Mother of All Things.

"We know so many witches, so many 'high priestesses', so many elves, so many who know so much and experience all that man and woman may experience; yet, we know very, very few who know magic to call it their own. Magic must be one's very own to be really functional. A deaf-mute may partake of a wordless magic that would make him-her master in and within the real domain of one's limited life. Our Elven people have a wordless, inner magic that goes deeper and yet transcends formal adeptship and charming lore. We are vowed to release this potential energy. We have no vows to tradition, or friendship or even sisterhood relative to this. We are vowed to give all to love and only love. The living WOMANSPIRIT within our tribal body finds this love only amongst those few men and women who sister-all manner of man, woman and beast because of an inner need to do so."

The letter is signed "The Elf Queen's Daughters," followed by two Post Office Box addresses, one in Aurora, Illinois, the other in San Francisco, California.

Source:

Ruth Mountaingrove et al. (Sept. 1975). WomanSpirit, 2(5). https://jstor.org/stable/community.28046746

Content warnings if you go read the rest of the magazine issue or series: Although the above excerpt is suitable for all audiences, the rest of the magazine has adult content, and should only be viewed by people over age 18. Common themes are sexual assault, violence, trauma, nudity, and references to reproductive organs. Pieces in the magazine are often about having survived sexual violence, and the pains and joys of reclaiming one’s sexuality. For another thing, this magazine comes from early radical feminism in the 1970s, before the schism fully developed between the rest of the movement and those who were transgender exclusionary (TERFs). Because of this, some contributors to the magazine expressed biological essentialist views that are offensive to some sexes and genders. The magazine printed these alongside contributors who, in contrast, expressed inclusive, biologically transcendent attitudes, as the elves did in this letter. WomanSpirit is a very moving and historically important collection of poetry, articles, letters, art, and comics made by many women, but all sorts of readers who browse it will find something that’s upsetting or even seriously triggering to them, so explore with caution.

(I edited this post on April 11 to make sure the content warning was adequate.)

#original post #Elf Queen's Daughters #elf #elves #elven #WomanSpirit #history #Pagan #magic #feminism #LGBTQ #rated PG-13 #screen reader friendly #alterhuman history #radical feminism #transphobia #transgender #sexism #relevant for women whether cisgender or transgender or intersex

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