#go find your own joy

[cellard0ors]

#the quarry #chris/abi #if you are incapable of understanding the idea of fiction and hate the ship feel free not to comment #it costs you nothing #go find your own joy #and stop being a buzzkill

[kithj]

compiled a list of some of my favorite text-based games & VNs that are specifically wlw:

another round - You play as Maddie, a woman in love with a woman named Agnes. Actually, she hates her. Actually, it's complicated. You definitely broke things off with her. And you don't regret it. At least once. Yes. At least once per day, you don't regret ending it with Agnes. Except tonight. You definitely regret it tonight.

such, such were the joys - It is the year 19xx in England. You are returning to the town of Grayling after your first year at university to meet your old school friends: Cicily Thomas, Fatima Khan, and Susheela Rajaram. As the only Indian girls at Grayling Towers, the four of you quickly became close friends, but you haven't seen each other in a year. You're not sure what has changed since then, but this is your chance to find out.

florence - Florence lies in bed, cold and still. You watch over her and wait.

perseids, or, all this will go on forever - Four trans girlfriends go on a road trip to a dark sky park, to see the perseid meteor shower. 

winter - an interactive fiction about sex, trans insecurity, and a girl with a skull for a face.

butterfly soup 1 & 2 (VN) - A visual novel about gay Asian girls playing baseball and falling in love.

birdland - At night 14-year-old Bridget Leaside dreams of fantastic lands full of strange bird people. By day she's a miserable anxious summer camper, trying very hard not to think about her feelings for the mysterious girl detective in Cabin 22. And when her dream life starts bleeding into reality, things are going to get weird for her in a whole bunch of ways...

a summer's end: hong kong 1986 (VN) - Follow the story of Michelle and Sam, and how their chance meeting evolves into a deeper romantic relationship. Set in vibrant Hong Kong in the year 1986, it is an original story about love, family, and culture.

one day hike - You go on a hike in a familiar wood.

a year of springs (VN) - experience the stories of haru, erika, and manami in A YEAR OF SPRINGS, a visual novel trilogy about a trio of friends navigating their feelings of love, connection, and just wanting to belong.

pageant - Your name is Qiuyi (Karen?) Zhao, and you’ve just been signed up by your parents for a beauty pageant. You’re not ready, not even close, but you don’t have a choice. But perhaps you can make the best of it.

new year's eve, 2019 (sequel to pageant) - You are Karen Zhao, a senior in college who is home for winter break, and seeing your old high school friends for the first time in years. You are not ready, not even close, but perhaps you could make the best of it.

the revenant's lament - Way out west, in the most lonesome of reaches, strange things are afoot. Cowboys around campfires tell ghost stories and tall tales, speak of impossible, supernatural things. They say the devil walks amongst men. They say he'll grant you impossible wishes at the cost of your eternal soul. They say he can bring dead men back to life.

venus meets venus - Two women meet in a bar. This is not a love story.

#yes i put my own game on this list. sue me #anyways i know there are like a billion yuri games on itchio so this is a highly curated list #excluding dating sims and yuri VNs cus they're incredibly easy to find like just go in the yuri tag lmfao #interactive fiction #games #also most of the creators on this list have more games too that i recommend #draw everything here that's me and you (?) something like that by kaleidofish #anamika has quite a few games besides florence and such such were the joys #there's another sequel to pageant and new years 2019 & the archivist by autumn chen #npckc has a shit ton of games lmfao #there are some sequels to birdland too but ive never played any of those #communistsister has a massive catalogue of games and collabs with domino club #anyways. these are just some of my favorite creators #and some of their games that i really liked #i might add on to this but im having a hard time focusing to read games lately i only just finally read revenant's lament last night #so i could put it here. brigid your game will haunt me forever (affectionate)

[miitopia-cake]

Some of you really need to realize that appreciating and including other people's queer experiences does not undermine your own and you need to leave them alone.

#i find my own joy in seeing other peoples queer happiness and satisfaction with their identities #and its actually unhealthy to see other people talking about their queer experience and going “but what about-” no. #i love all verisons of the queerness and you should too. it makes your life better to find a love in other peoples joys. #rambling #rant #text post #lbgtq #ace #aroace #aromantic #asexual #lbgtqia #mogai #discourse #queer #gay #homosexual #lesbian #sapphic #queer love

[thekidsarentalright]

also just something about patrick singing the song he wrote forever ago after having a bad day that's all about being your own light in the world and finding your joy in the middle of the setlist for the album all about how awful life can be but how you have to persevere and find what matters to you and find your own joy. something about that feels incredibly special

#literally no matter what happens in life you have to keep going and find your light and keep believing find your joy be your own spotlight #that is what they keep saying that is the point that is everything #txt

[vt-scribbles]

Hey! I just wanted to like. personally thank you for your tags on that post about being 13-15. I’m 20 and I’m just. I don’t know. It’s really nice to know that there’s no rush to get my shit together. You don’t have to post this if you don’t want, but from one stranger to another, thank you. I hope the future is kind to us both.

You are /more/ than welcome Anon.

I know when I was around 17-20, I wish someone would have told me that. I wish someone would have reassured me

"You're not an '''adult''' by 30. In fact, the idea of 'becoming an adult' is a lie. Everyone is a child, slowly figuring things out.

You'll be 25 and be 10 in maturity in some places, and 45 in others. You'll be 19 and be as mature as a 28 year old. 60 with the maturity of a 12 year old.

Age is a lie, maturity is a slow process, and everyone should always be growing. The idea that you become 'a mature adult' at a 'certain age' is a paradox, and is not helpful to you when you're young and scared and figuring yourself out before you can figure your LIFE out.

Your art will get better. Your friend group will get bigger. You'll laugh more, write more, reach out to your role models and realize they're all just people like you. Figuring things out. Fucking up. Being scared. We're all a little bit scared. But we all figure things out despite the fear.

So long as you take things at a healthy pace, you'll be okay. You'll feel like 'it's the end of the world' so many times, and you'll get through them. And it's worth it to stick around."

There's never a rush to get your shit together. Most people don't have their life together, or figured out. We're all just kids with back pain and bills. But, y'know. We get to watch the movies we want and eat the food we like, so. It's not so bad. <3

#vt text #long post #I'm 30 and still figuring things out every few years. #You're a new person every now and then #and that's okay #you'll never have 'everything' figured out #the beauty comes from being content in the present and just. finding joy where you can #and if you cannot find the joy. make it. #and if you cannot make the joy? Survive until you can. #Survive. And work for a better future for yourself. #Even if that means doing something silly like saving up for a bath bomb or that t-shirt you've always wanted. #anyways sorry this went on really long #I'm just. really passionate about letting people younger than me know that it's okay #you won't just. transform into an 'adult' one day #it's a slow and completely indiscernible process #it's a skill. #and you gotta hone it over time #be a kid #And don't buy into the lies of life 'milestones' and 'checklists' like going to college or getting married #make your own checklist. #figure out what makes you happy. It's hard. but so worth it. #anyways this novel has gone on long enough <3

[goldkirk]

as I'm going back over my past history and items and journals and years, I come across all sorts of things, like the pencil I saved from that so-precious memory from second grade, and a pair of flip flops I've been missing for two years, and (tw for murder/crime/killings) the modern-high-school-AU-kidnapped-by-a-serial-killer story I wrote in late high school jdfsjdfsjkjlksfd

#i can't wait to find out what red flags I didn't see in my own self back when I last read this thing in 2015 hfdhfdhjsfd #also. there's gonna be like a good sentence here and there and then CRINGE. the whole rest of everything is just me still trying to copy th #breathing pace (essentially) and ways-of-describing-things of mainstream authors like I thought I was supposed to #so this'll be somewhat painful but also god what a joy and a gift and an honor and a delight to get to hold this close to my heart #and witness it with understanding and empathy and slow reflection and care like my past younger self deserves #i'm so lucky i'm alive to be here and do this #i'm so grateful i'm headed towards welcoming back and embracing the last little girl i was that still felt a lot of things #so excited for her focus and precision and tenacity and constant curious joy and movement to be back someday #i'm afraid people won't like the me i was before rule after rule and then dangers #but my god it'll feel so good to be the fully-flowing energy machine and dance and conduit again how will I have enough bother to care? #people who are good to each others' nervous systems cumulatively feel better and better #if i'm not good for you and yours then you really truly SHOULD go elsewhere and find someone who makes YOUR self feel right and light + war #anyway now that i wrote an essay in the tags as usual [nervous laughter] #personal #add to journal #words n rhythm #WHY DID I FEEL CAPABLE OF UNDERTAKING A STORY LIKE THIS #cradling my past self gently but also BANGING my HEAD against the WALL lmao #i'm proud of myself for writing and sharing this and its creative ideas. even if i don't like it now or feel ashamed or see mistakes. #anything. it mattered that it came to me and it mattered that i explored it and it mattered that i poured myself through it to help shape i #and it mattered that I left it on the internet so that now it still exists. i'm going to honor this story no matter what current me would #objectively think about it if it was written by anyone else. #this is a gift i give myself now. #this is a lot of what I learn and learn to do #trauma evolution #mosswrites

[crescentfool]

beaming everyone on the dashh with good brain day vibes!!! i hope that you all can remember to extend self-compassion to yourself whenever you're feeling down about something 💙

#lizzy speaks #the human brain works in such profound ways i think #lately i've been thinking about that post that was like 'you will always be your oldest friend take care of yourself' #it's definitely a sentiment i agree with and i appreciate how it emphasizes the importance of extending compassion to yourself #you wouldn't say such hurtful things to your friends right? (or at least i'd hope so) #so why would you say it to yourself? #you are your own friend too. and i think everyone has a beautiful soul within themselves. nurture it! water it! feed it good thoughts. #basically i wish everyone a 'i hope that your brain is not your own enemy but rather a friend that you can find comfort in' #things will work themselves out with time. there's beauty in life and you will find small delights to cherish!! i am manifesting it for u!! #and for those who find it difficult to transition from a self-critical mindset to one that's more compassionate and nonjudgmental #i truly think that with time you will be able to rewire your brain to be kinder to yourself. i'm proud of you for taking any first steps :) #there are times in which it feels counterintuitive to go against habits that feel hard-wired... but brains are very malleable littel guys- #with such a wonderful capacity for changing and learning new things. so i hope everyone can learn to be their own best friend! #not to undermine the importance of a support network ofc. that's good too and im all for that!! but i hope everyone remembers to be kind- #not only to others but also to themselves!! you're going to do great out there!! i love you all!! #ive just been thinking about this a lot... i needed to get it out there. you all shine so brightly!!! we shall be fine!!! have a good week! #sorry if this is out of nowhere but if there's anything about me you should know it's that i'm the 'hey dont cry 8 billion people on earth- #ok?' post. idk i just find great joy in knowing others are out there thriving and finding a daily delight yknow i love humanity!!

[crowrelli]

.

#I love spending the last few months trying to work up the courage to include more native headcannons and features in my work #just for people to be DISGUSTING and weird about it #go choke and die if you can’t handle a darker skinned Superman or whatever the fuck is your issue #literally it’s been so hard to post shit because people can’t behave for five seconds #why be racist and bring down poc creators who are just trying to find joy in their own features #and their existences that are rarely featured on screen?? #especially smallville?? do y’all fucking forget Clark’s whole multiple season long relationship with the Kawatche? that shit was atrocious #and done terribly but y’all can’t ignore it happened #I’m soooooooo sorry you can’t handle an indigenous person wanting to draw indigenous headcannons #delete later

[tricksterlatte]

The Online Fandom 7 Deadly Sins

sloth: complaining about how no one writes the tropes or pairings you like and bashing what's already out there, while refusing to create anything you desire yourself

greed: zine and other finance-related scandals with zero remorse for those negatively affected

gluttony: spending rent money on merch, experiencing buyer's remorse, then repeating the same process next month

wrath: anon hate over literally everything under the sun, even harassing official writers and threatening them if they don't make your ship canon

pride: devaluing other's characterizations and ships to praise yours as better, whether through a canon perspective or a moral perspective, when neither matter in the long run when it comes to your own enjoyment

envy: trash talking others' fandom creations or saying you won't bother creating anything because it'll never be as good as them

lust: fighting over who tops or bottoms because of your personal preferences when one, both, or neither could happen, especially when most of these characters never even kiss canonically nor have most people fighting done any of these things irl themselves

#parker says things #i'm not exempt I've definitely done a few of the things listed #especially pride and envy god those really go hand in hand and it's sad #but seriously...guys does any of this matter in the long run #just have fun #if someone is having fun in a way that clashes with your own type of enjoyment just hit da bricks! #that guy's got horns! well not gonna ruin my day! #live like Yusuke guys #i've been afk because I'm dealing with some intense depression but fandom has actively hurt more than helped me #and I know plenty of ppl myself included think discussion of meta is enjoyable but I think things reach a point where it's only stewing #the inherent focus on adhering to a singular strict perspective is toxic to ourselves in the long run #have fun! be self indulgent #almost everything posted is gonna be ooc to some people even if it's 100 percent accurate to others #and just in general idk I think we should focus on fandom as a sense of fun instead of a marketing ploy #most of us are not here to make fanart or writing a career #I'm not really a community person and I've learned that the hard way over a decade and more #but i just hope people will find what sparks joy and enjoy themselves again #I don't think I'll be active in fandoms much anymore as I focus more on my personal life and recover from some things #but I wish everyone much love and hope for the best for people #even if we've had some bad interactions I do not wish ill upon anyone #i got off topic but these tags are just me saying I'll stick to lurking publicly and replying to my DMs and writing in private #will still post some things to my AO3!! maybe #anyways tag yourself I'm a recovering glutton/envy

[maranull]

tried to write a bit. i wrote like 3 sentences for a new wip and then brain died. so instead i type here.

i tend to write fluff (i thought, then i saw that only 13/42 of my works in AO3 are tagged as such), but i think the vast majority of my works also have angst as a background or in the past of the characters. it's as if i view peace and gentleness as things inherently earned, not provided. man. that feels wrong. peace and gentleness are earned. yea, that is wrong. welp. anyway, my chatfic is one of the very few things i've wrote/ i'm writing that is pure fluff with no drama or real problems. another one that i have abandoned was "father and daughter", thought the father in that one had gone through some shit and was basically a hermit that got handed a baby. the writing on it sucks (i was writing it like 4 years ago)

there's no point to be made in this post btw just typing mindlessly cause typing mindfully (for fics) is unachievable at the moment

#personal #i want to keep typing cause the “clickity clackity” of the keyboard is giving me joy #but i can't really think of anything #nor do i want to #cause thinking sometimes means finding yet another thing that's wrong with me and honestly i have enough #no more #pls and ty #at this point it's not even like sad or anything #it's just #come on #another bullshit in my brain????? #let me mend the other problems first #why you go finding more things to be broken about? #silly mara #just consume media and not think or create anything #creating makes you think #thinking makes you figure out yourself more #and that's no good when the self is so broken and sealed off to even your own mind #what am i even typing anymore #shut.

[pebblezone]

I hope I am not just a creator of questionable content, but also a friend

#hellsing #hellsing ultimate #vids #yeah I’ll put this in the tags fuck it everyone deserves to see this #her ass would NOT listen to Honkin’ Down The Highway from the 1977 album The Beach Boys Love You #😁😁😁😁😁😁😁 i love being able to create creating things is amazing humanity is beautiful #I can sit in my room make this then go outside and see birds and trees the world is a lovely place #billions of people are all doing their own things there are so many paths in life and so many ways people can find joy #yknow what maybe an album per character isn’t reasonable for the public but hell I can do a song per character that’s easier to explain #less lore with lyrics than idk years of verbal abuse drug abuse financial strain incest?? that’s a fun one to get into #fun fact! it’s apparently not incest if your cousin denies that your wife was actually his daughter 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃 anyway that guy drowned #gotta finish PowerPoint 2 before I can go onto beach boys hellsing…but soon. soon. powerpoint 2 research is chugging along

[toxooz]

Hi Toxooz, how do you get yourself to draw so frequently? 👀👀👀

bc i have literally 84 things going on at once in my brain at all times that my highly visually obsessed brain Has To physically get in front of my eyes so that i can see or else will i think abt it over and over again and Brother I'm always envisioning things characters scenes scenarios outfits designs colors all of it in my cranium like angry itchy itchy ITCHY bees until i draw them out lmfao even if i don't know what to specifically draw at the current moment imma still end up drawing somehow ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I think at this point it's literally hardwired into my brain that I Gotta draw its what I've been doing since I could hold a pencil tbh it's how i cope with being -gestures vaguely- Here and alive, i actually gotta force myself to take a day off and schedule days where I DONT draw bc I know it's wearing on my hands and wrists 😬 I guess physically drawing grounds me in a way and keeps me (mostly) sane like if I don't draw for a few days i start getting Vaguely Antsy it's fukkin weird and i think at this point my love for my characters has surpassed like any form of art block if that makes sense??? like they literally take up 92% of my brain if not more, and the only way to see them is to draw them but yeah it's just what i do it's my jelly n my jam which is why I'm literally so glad i realized that i don't want to make drawing a job/career bc God help me if i start dreading drawing bc of the stress of money I've been drawing like crazy for like 2 decades straight and I only wanna draw more man idk!!!!! It's just one of them 'how the brain formed around what you do an assload of times' thangs

Answer translation: idk I just like to draw a lot lmfao

#its like the kids say ✨💅its how i express myself✨💅 #and dont get it twisted im aware this is not healthy lmfao #dont aspire to b like me just draw or dont draw man its abt the want #like i said drawing is just What I Do at this point i didnt train theres not some ''oh draw for at least 30 minutes a day' shit #i draw fast as shit (probably obviously ) and so much its probably unnatural AHA #the secret is make drawing the only outlet for your brain to not completely self implode at the mere idea of existing #for 24 years!!!!! :) #honestly thats why im getting progressively more Tired when every mf and their grandma tries to convince me to sell my shits #like brother this is a part of me how can i give away something i created and inevitably formed a bond with for like 100 bucks #i caint do it and so if i go in with the expectation to imediately give it away then man i dont even want to be making art in the first pl #like for me Personally if im not going to make something that i fall in love with and want to look at occasionally then #Literally what is the point of me making anything #what is the point of me making my body and mind create a piece if not for my own personal joy??? #but thats just physical art ig #like digital stuff and selling it for money if some1 wants it im aight but physical paintings??? that shit is Me and Mine #like just bc i Can make art doesnt immediately mean i need to make money from it yknow #my brother in christ when it comes to the the only true outlet for me to find joy and inspiration in living i Do Not care about money #i will take any amount of shitty job abuse if it means i conserve my passion #ill get a scarring accident from welding before i will stress cry over a deadline for a project that i dont even want to do #absolutely terrified of that path and feeling it is The Worst for me #like literally thank FUCK i realized this when i was just in a community college and not balls deep in debt at some fancy university #granted late as all hell and all my opportunities of taking free welding classes in my early years have long passed but still glad #just stick me on an abandoned island with canvases n paint n shit and ill b fine #god knew if i managed my time better and wasnt Really Fucking Exhausted all the time i would be unstoppable #like ofc making money while drawing what i want is the dream no doubt but the chances of that are slim and the road to get there is even #slimmer #ANYWAY holy shit not to get hella preachy but i have Thots

[hopecomesbacktolife]

I’m not going to reblog the post itself because I don’t want that behavior on my blog, but oh my god I just saw a post about “looking for fics about your favorite character on ao3” and good lord the amount of bad takes both in that post and in the notes?? I have to just ramble about this for a moment because oh my god. it was ludicrous.

people were complaining that, and get this, unfinished fics exist. and that if you read an unfinished fic you’ll have to, get this, wait to read more until it’s published next. they were allll up in arms that there’s fics for a character that don’t cater to their specific interests. that they involve other characters and either do/don’t put them in a romantic relationship when they want the opposite for the character.

like at this point, most of you people in the notes on that post are 1) just being mean and condescending about FREE WORKS you can, may I remind you, READ FOR FREE and EXIT at ANY time! if you don’t like it!, don’t read it!, it’s so simple!, and 2) straight up do not know how ao3 works lmao

like I saw soooo many people in the notes complaining about a certain ship, dynamic, tag, etc, and like… y’all know you can filter by romantic vs platonic pairings, by ratings, by excluding certain tags or other qualifiers, etc etc etc… you know about ao3’s actually incredibly usable filtering and searching system… right… right??

at this point I’m just convinced a lot of these people are spoiled by large fandoms with 100k+ works for their characters and have decided to just be mean and condescending for no reason on main, about literally free fan works you can read for free any time that people spend hours and hours pouring their free time into out of sheer love for their craft. cuckoo bananas behavior if you ask me 🫠

I was legit so close to commenting that maybe they should try shipping two characters with <10 fics, with 0 fics, try liking a rare pair, try hyperfocusing on a character or niche type of fandom with a tiny but lovely circle of fans, and stop treating fan works and fic as Content TM that they deserve to have handed to them that caters to exactly what they want for free and maybe they’ll calm down lmao

like y’all aren’t cool you’re just being mean. we fundamentally approach fic in wildly different ways and honestly the way you do sounds exhausting. literally could not be me, I’m to busy finding joy in shared love for characters and not flipping the table in a rage because there’s one (1) element of the fic that isn’t specifically catered to me, maybe try that and you’ll feel better, hmm?

and yeah I’m aware that last sentence is me being condescending towards them, but frankly it’s warranted when so many people are being that mean and haughty for no reason lmao but truly those takes were horrific. fellow fic writers and even fellow fic readers I interact with, am mutuals with, authors whose works I read, readers who comment and interact with my works, fans of niche fandom subsets that run in the same circles as me— I hope you know this is so wildly not how I approach fics, I love just finding fics for my characters and forming these lil communities where we share our interests and love for them and hype each other up. I love what we have in these fandom niches and I hope you know I would never dream of being so mean and condescending towards y’all. fic writers and readers and fan communities are so special and I cherish it even if clearly there’s people in the notes on that other post who don’t know how to do that lmao. I love your unfinished WIPs, I love your fics that may only partially be what I’m looking for, I love when you write characters in a way I wouldn’t expect but shows your love for your particular headcanon, I love the variety and diversity and variance in fic. I love us. genuinely. fic writer moots I am hugging all of you and I frequently reread your works, even the unfinished ones. ♡

#personal #god this turned into a rant but sometimes I’m just shocked by how.. mean and condescending and holier-than-thou some people can be about fic #about works people write FOR FREE because they LOVE a character/ dynamic/ etc so much they can’t NOT let that love pour out into a fic tjat #once again you can READ FOR FREE HELLO #like god. maybe those people need to try not being a condescending bench (to quote Eleanor) and maybe they’ll feel better and be able to ac #tually participate in the wonder and joy and delight that is fan communities and fic communities idk man #I’m convinced some of it is people being spoiled by large fandoms and also not knowing how ao3 works at all #but like. this is not a streaming service this is an ARCHIVE it is a LIBRARY do you know how to use a LIBRARY #hello??? if you don’t like a book you can return it and borrow another???? not scribble in the margins about how you don’t like it??? #like literally w h a t. #unhinged behavior and not in a cute way. #being mean isn’t cute it’s just being mean. condescension won’t magically make your dream fic scenarios appear. sorry (not sorry tho) #anyways. there was no way in hellllll! I was going to reblog that post and bring that whole mess to my blog. so instead. making my own post #(somewhat like people who can’t find fic they want could also just make their own but yknow 🤭💋) #anyways fellow fic writers and readers I interact with and am friends with ily ily and pls know I never think of your works like that in a #million years ok ❤️❣️❤️ I’m sorry some people are Mean I’m so glad the people I know who are fic writers + readers aren’t like that ty ty

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

A very happy weekend everyone~! ^^

#personal #I really wish that y'all have a nice one #That you find joy from the little things in life #Hubby for example truly enjoys having a cup of coffee and a pastry in the afternoon #Just quietly sipping it while watching outside #It sounds like such an 'old people thing' to do but life's simple pleasures really is the thing #For me it's being able to light a candle at the end of the day and just lie on the bed #Just excist and watch the little flame of the candle #If life is not being good rn #I promise it will get better #Just make little steps towards your goals #Wherever that may be #Each day #It's about the journey #And cherish the good people in your life #The good moments; being alright in the moment #But also... Be the MC of your own life #Wear that outfit #Do that make up; or not #The person you're going the spend the most time in your life #Is you #So make sure you like the person you are

[three-moving]

quick ramble before i go to sleep-

i love being aro. full stop. i have never felt as full of joy as i feel knowing that i don’t need to find a partner, i don’t need to be comfortable with romance, i don’t need to conform to the ideas i internalized growing up.

but i keep thinking about 15 year old me, who realized they were aro and cried. who wanted anything but to accept that part of themself.

so, to 15 year old me, and to anyone else feeling those feelings: being aro isn’t a death sentence. it does not mean you’ll never be happy. it doesn’t mean the people you care about will leave you, regardless of what you’ve been told. you can find joy in not partnering. you can also still have a partner, if that’s something you want! it’s easy to mourn the life it seems like you’ll never have, but if you still want a partner, a marriage, any sort of long term commitment, you can have it. and if you don’t want it, then you don’t have to have it!

i wish 15 year old me could see how much they’d learn. how many people they’d meet and how much they’d come to understand both themself and the world around them because of this wonderful community. i wish i could tell them it’s going to be okay, not despite being aro but because of it.

being aro is a wonderful thing. i am so glad i learned to be proud of it. it’s amazing to see the community become gradually more visible over time.

happy aro visibility day <2

#aromantic #aromantic visibility day #three o clock speaks #i know i kinda talk about this a lot but i have a lot of thoughts #i’d like to give past me a hug. but i can’t do that. so i’d like to give a hug to anyone going through the motions that past me went through #because it sucks to mourn part of your own life! to believe that you can’t possibly be happy! to think that you’re broken or messed up! #past me needed to be told that not feeling romantic attraction wasn’t their fault. they needed to be told that they can still find joy. #they needed to be told that they are so much happier and emotionally and mentally healthier now than they were back then. #things are okay now. i wish 15 year old me knew that they would be.

[thekidsarentalright]

yk i've been thinking about it a lot recently and it's so fucked up and painfully human that grief is constantly just part of the healing process. obviously you grieve loved ones that pass or go otherwise, but i'm also like currently grieving the past me, grieving the versions of me that never will be, never can be, that are too scared to be even if they could be, the versions of me that are but not for long, my past hopes and dreams, what i thought i knew and what i wanted to know but what isnt true, the more i work on myself and grow the more grief i uncover. grief is what happens when love and hope and desire has nowhere to go, it's something that has to be tended to to blossom back into love for something else, i think. you grieve someone so their memory is never forgotten and you can move on with them still in your heart, i grieve my past self so my future self can grow, with my past self in her heart. i grieve yesterday and today so tomorrow has the chance to be better with the knowledge of what went wrong before. i grieve and i grieve and my heart forever remains cracked open, leaking love and hope and desire so it can be filled with it again. it is painful and yet so beautifully human. fucked up but something, the more i sit with it, the less i wish it would ever change. why would i want to change love? growth? hope? i wouldnt. i am not a god who can erase uncomfortable things but a human who must embrace them and learn to live with them and that. is beautiful

#ive just been going through a lot and working on myself a lot and thinking abt it all a lot #like grief is ugly and beautiful. human emotion is ugly and beautiful. change is uncomfortable but also great #change is good growth is good finding your own meaning and joy and peace is good boundaries and loving yourself are good #but all of those things can be uncomfortable bc theyre changes bc they can involve grieving but. it's all so necessary and real and Human #and therefore Beautiful. i think being human is so beautiful. god. so #* so many thoughts about this!!!!!! #if u saw me post this already. no u didnt . btw fjrkfkdn #txt #💌