#i want to keep typing cause the “clickity clackity” of the keyboard is giving me joy

[maranull]

tried to write a bit. i wrote like 3 sentences for a new wip and then brain died. so instead i type here.

i tend to write fluff (i thought, then i saw that only 13/42 of my works in AO3 are tagged as such), but i think the vast majority of my works also have angst as a background or in the past of the characters. it's as if i view peace and gentleness as things inherently earned, not provided. man. that feels wrong. peace and gentleness are earned. yea, that is wrong. welp. anyway, my chatfic is one of the very few things i've wrote/ i'm writing that is pure fluff with no drama or real problems. another one that i have abandoned was "father and daughter", thought the father in that one had gone through some shit and was basically a hermit that got handed a baby. the writing on it sucks (i was writing it like 4 years ago)

there's no point to be made in this post btw just typing mindlessly cause typing mindfully (for fics) is unachievable at the moment

#personal #i want to keep typing cause the “clickity clackity” of the keyboard is giving me joy #but i can't really think of anything #nor do i want to #cause thinking sometimes means finding yet another thing that's wrong with me and honestly i have enough #no more #pls and ty #at this point it's not even like sad or anything #it's just #come on #another bullshit in my brain????? #let me mend the other problems first #why you go finding more things to be broken about? #silly mara #just consume media and not think or create anything #creating makes you think #thinking makes you figure out yourself more #and that's no good when the self is so broken and sealed off to even your own mind #what am i even typing anymore #shut.