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#go “hmm I'll work on this more another time” and never touch it again. so. most of them suck
rotisseries · 9 months
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i think my zelink playlist is my only good one like this shit is devastating genuinely
#the one exception on there being I would do anything for love by meatloaf#which is a classic case of “I like this song so much that I'm gonna black out and insist it goes here anyway even if it maybe doesn't”#lyrically that song is fine its just that the rest of the playlist is sad indie shit so it fucks with the vibes a bit#anyway this post is kind of a lie my el and max ones are also good and also probably better than the zelink one#it's just that 99 percent of the time if I make a character/ship/feeling playlist I get like 4 songs in it#go “hmm I'll work on this more another time” and never touch it again. so. most of them suck#and that's part of the reason my entire spotify profile is private#but the zelink one. well it's technically also not done to me hence why I made it in may and then never sent it to gloomy#hi gloomy sorry gloomy#but it's like 2 hours long which in retrospect is I think a normal length for playlists but not to me not if it's you#2 hours is normal if you curate that shit I don't curate my ideal playlist is an 8 hour monstrosity with every song#that even briefly induces character feelings#so um. georgia by phoebe bridgers though#anyway I was actually listening to the zelink playlist today bc I was thinking about ANOTHER couple. um😐#and it was genuinely getting rancid awful radioactive in my brain so I was like “FUCK THIS!! I NEED TO THINK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE”#and forcibly induced a zelink breakdown#prescribed 500 ml of zelinkism to combat The Diseases
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elenadvrx · 3 months
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"princess, come on. i'm really sorry."
suna rintarou likes to play pranks on you. but this time, it went too far.
"no, suna. i don't want to talk to you." with a frown on your face and your arms crossed, you faced away from his general direction.
"suna?" he chuckled nervously, knowing you were really upset if you refused to call him 'rin' or 'baby'. "princess, i'm really sorry for doing that to you. i promise to not do that again, okay?" he tilted his head to try to get you to look at him.
a few days ago, you came home from work and wanted to cuddle with your boyfriend because you had a bad day at work. things weren't going as well as you hoped so you were looking forward to get some comfort in his arms. your heart ached when your silent request for cuddles were rejected but you brushed it off thinking that maybe he wasn't in the mood for it.
until the same thing happened the next day and the day after. whenever you initiated hugs or kisses, suna grunted and moved away, focusing on whatever was on his phone. not knowing what to do, you sat on the sofa and watched tv while suna continued to type away on his phone on the other end of the sofa. then, his phone rang and he answered the call.
"yeah, himeko? you need help? sure, i'll come over in a few." himeko. isn't she the one who was always fawning around suna?
before you could grasp what was happening, suna was already putting on his shoes. panicking, you rushed over towards him, "rin? where are you going?"
"hmm? i'm heading to himeko's. apparently she needs help with some stuff." to be honest, seeing the crestfallen expression on your face with those beady eyes, he hesitated to continue this prank but chose to press on. (tsk the ego)
"oh… okay." you hesitantly smile at suna, watching him leave through the door of your shared home.
when the door click shut, you stood at the same spot for what felt like an eternity before deciding to go back to sit on the sofa. millions of thoughts went through your mind, thinking about all the posibilities on what you may have done for him to have ignored you for three days but left immediately when another girl called for him.
what if he was tired of you? what if… he decided that himeko was actually so much better than you and was slowly distancing himself from you to prepare you for the eventual breakup? what if-
"princess, baby, i can't do it!" suna rushed through the door and head over to you to start explaining.
after a few minutes, he stopped talking and looked at you. he waited with bated breath for your scolding and beatings but none came.
which brings us back to the present.
facing away from him, your eyes started watering and your lips quiver. just a moment ago you were scared and anxious because you thought he was done with you, running away to be with another girl. and you never got that comfort from him since three days ago so all your feelings and emotions were pent up till now.
"princess? please, talk to me?" he spoke softly, so softly as if a glass would shatter if he were to speak any louder.
you hear hesitant patters of feet until suna's figure came into your peripheral, kneeling down before you and gently cupping your chin to make you face him instead. touch starved, his gentle touch made a tear run down your cheek, then down his hand.
"oh princess, i'm so sorry" suna's focused gaze on you got you crying and sobbing as you dove straight to his arms (which he let out an 'oomph' sound from the sudden impact), hiding your face on his chest.
feeling petty, you started punching his chest lightly but slowly start hitting him straight on with both your fists and palms, crying at the same time.
"ow ow! okay, yeah i deserve that but baby, could you hit me a little softer?" he chuckles trying to get a hold of your flailing arms. just as he got a hold on you, you immediately retracted your arms to cover your face.
"you're so mean! i really thought you were about to leave me and that you don't love me anymore!" more tears started trickling down before you could stop them. "i had a really bad day and all i wanted was to cuddle with you…" you started hicupping, emotions all over the place.
"hey, stop baby, i will always love you and i will never leave you, okay? i'm so stupid, gosh, i give you hitting privileges all you want. here, let me hit myself too." he hit himself on his head but winced when he did it too hard, rubbing the sore part.
chuckling a little at the sight, you started to calm down. "don't hit yourself, only i can hit you." you reached out to his head to help dissipate the soreness too.
grabbing your hand, suna softly kisses your inner wrist before releasing it to palm your face and start peppering kisses all over it, with soft "i love you"s in between. he gave a last kiss on your lips before releasing a soft sigh against it.
"i'm sorry, princess." he plopped his forehead to rest on your shoulder before tightly wrapping his arms around your waist.
"mm, you're forgiven. but do something stupid like this again and i'll leave your ass immediately." you reciprocate his embrace, one hand wrapping around his shoulder while the other slowly stroke his hair.
"fair. just know that i love you too much to let you leave me heh." placing a kiss on your neck, he retreated before lifting you up from the sofa to carry you to the bedroom.
"now, let's get the cuddles that you wanted and you tell me what happened at work. alright, princess?"
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braidlottie · 26 days
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“mother” knows best.
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pairing: stepmom!lottie x virgin!transmasc!reader
summary: after getting comforted by your stepmother, she thinks of a way to get rid of your stress.
tags: smut, nsfw, 18+ (minors dni), stepcest, age gap, reader is 19, lottie is in her 40s, comfort sex!!,, soft!mommy!lottie, sloppy kissing, virginity loss/first time, breast sucking, handjob, crying, corruption?,, charlotte is used instead of lottie, the niCKNAMES!,, if anyone is know irl sees this no you didn’t
wc: 1.2k
a/n: am i cooked?
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unlocking the front door with your house keys, you finally step into your house, feeling so tired. it was only 8 pm and you were ready to crash. you were about to go upstairs when you heard a female voice that startled you. "ignoring me now, honey?" you didn't even notice your stepmother on the couch, reading a book.
"oh- sorry. i didn't see you sitting there." you apologized, and she just shook her head with a smile. "come sit down, honey," she patted the couch cushion next to her. "did your father let you use the car?"
you sat down and shook your head. "he told me he had to go to work early again. but i took the bus." charlotte gave you a look of disapproval, but you knew it was for your dad. "you know i don't like you taking the bus at night, let alone walking." even though she wasn't your birth mother, she still cared about you tremendously. "i'll talk to him later." she put her glasses on her head, taking a sip of her tea.
"you doing okay, sweetie? what's wrong?" a comforting hand wrapped around your waist. "rough day?"
you nodded, resting your head on her shoulder, trying not to doze off. "you know you can tell me. it's not good to keep what you're feeling bottled up inside." she patted your thigh, saying her second sentence a little quieter than the last.
"i was late to class because of the bus, and my professor gave us our essay grades, and mine was a 68, and i don't know why because i worked so hard on it and he won't even tell me what i did wrong. and i didn't have a chance to get any lunch because i had to study, and i'm so tired, mommy." your voice quivered at your last word, covering your teary eyes with the collar of your shirt.
"oh, honey..." she took her book out of her lap and put it on the coffee table, instantly taking you in your arms. "there you go. just cry, baby. let it all out for mommy." she rubbed your back, rocking you while you were hunched over her lap, crying into her lap.
you stopped after a few, wiping your eyes again with your t-shirt. you've never cried in front of your stepmother, but she made you feel so loved that you wanted to cry even more. she pulled your shirt off your face, wiping your eyes with her soft hands. they were cold as well, cooling down your face.
"you're such a hardworking boy, you know that?" charlotte brings you closer, running a hand over your hair. "and such a smart boy.. and a good boy." she gave you a kiss on the temple, shushing your faint whine. "i think you need to relax a bit, hmm?" her hand slowly shifted up your thigh, making you squirm.
she wiped what was left of your tears, and kissed you on the cheek, the corner of her lips touching yours. your heart jumped at the feeling, staring back at her big eyes.
she went in for another kiss, planting one directly on your lips. you couldn't help but break the kiss, trying to catch your breath from the sudden connection. "charlotte... we shouldn't." she could tell you were flustered but scared of getting caught. "this- this is kinda wrong, don't you think?"
"not to me, darling. i just wanted to cheer my boy up, mommy can't do that? can you let mommy help you?" her voice was like velvet, but you couldn't give in. "what about dad?"
"he won't know if we don't tell him, right?" she nodded and you followed her action innocently. “now, c’mon. you gonna give me another kiss?”
you hesitantly nodded before sitting up to peck her on the lips. when you pulled away, she snickered, taking her glasses off her head. “what? what did i do?” you panicked, thinking you did something wrong.
“that’s your kiss? really?” you shrugged and looked down, playing with the thread on your jeans. lottie realized that she upset you and immediately apologized. “oh- i didn’t mean it like that, sweetie. have you ever kissed someone before?”
you looked up at her, shaking your head. it was silent for a second before she spoke again. “..have you ever had sex?” she watched you shake your head again, feeling herself get covered in goosebumps.
“that’s perfectly fine, honey. you’re still young.” her smile grew bigger by the second at your answer. “just relax.” she whispered, hands rubbing up and down your tensed shoulders. she kissed you once more, smirking when she felt your lips melt against yours. “good boy...” her voice was deep but soothing as she chuckled softly, slipping her tongue into your mouth.
she guided your hand to her breast, giving you permission to fondle them. “you know you want to. shy boy.” she teased. you bit your lips, hand trembling as you pulled down the collar of her v-neck, watching her nipple pop out from the cloth. you look up at her, mouth agape.
“use your mouth, baby. c’mon,” she pushed your head closer, feeling your breath on her breast. you kissed the perked bud before swirling your tongue around it, getting a sharp exhale out of your stepmother. her hand rested on the back of your neck, knowing she had you wrapped around her finger.
her hand found the zipper of your jeans, managing to unbutton as well with her other hand on your head. you felt the cold air touch your thighs, squeezing your legs together with a faint whimper. “i don’t bite, pumpkin. open those sweet legs for mommy, hm?” she coaxed, tapping your thighs. she pushed your head back into her nipple, moaning as you latch back on.
you let charlotte tug your pants and boxers down to your ankles, the pads of her fingers swirling around the head of your t-dick. “there’s my boy. just feel good for mommy.” you gasped, letting go from her breast to moan, resting your head back against the couch. your squirms made her put an arm around your waist, feeling yourself get dizzier by the second.
“mama, mama,” you sob, the pressure in your stomach worsening. you try to repeat the phrase again, but only make out a slurred mumble. “shh, shh… oh baby… can’t even think of the right words to say to mommy. are you so close? i can tell you’re right on the edge for mama.”
her words sent a shiver up your snipe, body jerking forward as you came against her fingers. you left quiet the mess, squirting into your clothes, charlotte’s hand, and the edge of the couch.
“good boy. such a good little boy for mommy.” she pulled away from your tdick, holding you close as you came down from your first orgasm. “he’s gonna see the stain, mommy. on the couch.” you whined, scared that your father would find out about your night once he came home.
“shhh, baby. let mommy take care it, okay? c’mon, i’ll run you a bath and clean it up before he gets back. i promise, honey.” she took your jeans off your ankles, and pulled your boxers up, helping you off the couch. you nodded, knowing you could trust her with anything. “that’s my boy, mommy loves you so much.”
you could tell she really meant it, squeezing your hand tight before pulling you into a hug, giving you the affection you’ve always wanted and needed.
taglist: @t4tnat @jaywritessometimes @girltwinklater @kessellluvr @lotties-ashwagandha @shipmanisms
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luveline · 2 years
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just remus being casually domestically dominant please 🫡 you’re amazing ily
love you ♡ fem!reader | 1k words
"Finish your food," Remus says mildly, eyes glued to his open laptop screen. 
You look away from the book in your lap and take a sheepish bite. Once you've swallowed, you say, "Sorry. I'm nearly finished." 
He does look up now to give you a soft smile. "Don't be sorry. Just…" He pushes your full glass of water towards you. "The book's not going anywhere." 
"Neither is my toast." 
"Enough," he says, fond but stern. "Eat." 
You close your book around your hand and eat with the other, watching him rather indulgently as you do. He looks focused. His eyes run over the lines of his manuscript one after another, you can almost see his thoughts on his face. A week until his deadline and he's still trying to make sure you're eating well. 
You glare at his plate with a slice of toast still on it and cough pointedly. 
He doesn't even look up. "Careful," he murmurs. 
You know he's half joking, but the other half has a shudder racing down your spine. You skull your drink to hide how affected you are and then turn back to your book. 
After a few pages your leg starts to jog, kicking restlessly in efforts to keep up with the plot. 
Remus' socked foot taps your calf. 
"Sorry," you apologise again. 
Remus closes the lid on his laptop, elbow braced, dropping his face into his hand with a steadying smile sent your way, a silent Don't be. "Why don't you go read in the living room? I'll do the dishes really quickly." 
You don't believe him even slightly but you stand when he stands and let him kiss your cheek, his head tucked toward you and his hand squeezing the slope of your shoulder. 
Laying out on the sofa, you listen to him walking around the kitchen. He does the dishes, loads the washing machine, wipes down the tops. By the time you've finished your book he's still in there, the sharp echo of a knife slicing down through vegetables ringing in the hall. You feel a little guilty – you're only lounging about while he's making preparations for dinner and he's been so busy with his manuscript he hasn't had much time to say still. He never stops moving. You flounce back into the kitchen with intent to commandeer the hard work or at least help but he wipes his hands on the tea towel hanging over his shoulder and turns you around.
You giggle at being manhandled. "Remus!" 
"I told you to go read."
"I'm all done " 
"Go read something else." He pushes you gently toward the doorway. 
"It's almost like you don't want to spend time with me," you tease, digging your heels into the floor uselessly. "Stop! Let me stay, please. I miss you." 
He immediately stops. Where his hands had been pushing behind your shoulders they wrap around you alarmingly quickly and twice as tightly. You grin at his touch, his heat behind your back and the warm rush of his breath past your ear. "You miss me," he repeats. You can almost hear him rolling his eyes. 
"All the time," you insist.
"If I let you stay in here, I'll never get the cooking done. You'll… misdirect me." 
You wrap your fingers around his wrist and try to win him over with some sweet touches of your own, fingers stroking his skin carefully. You let yourself melt into his hold like you know he likes and turn your head to his chest, cheek rubbing against his shirt. "You like me, secretly," you say. 
"I like you a bit more than that, dove." 
Remus hugs you close for a few precious minutes. You forget where you are, eyes closed, his abdomen rising behind you with every slow breath. 
He laughs. It tickles your neck. 
"What?" you ask. 
Remus plants a first kiss and then a second to the curve of your neck. "You misdirected me." 
"How's that my fault? You're easily distracted." 
He encourages you to face him, eyes mock accusing. "Hmm." He pinches your chin between his thumb and his finger, tilting your head up a little bit too high. You wait for a kiss, eyes lidded and lashes fluttering. 
"Don't be cruel," you scold in a whisper, lips pouting insistently. 
His hand stretches over your cheek and his thumb rubs at your skin like he's trying to wipe something away. Your head turns just slightly under his ministrations and he finally leans down to kiss you, chaste to your hungry, careful to your amorous. You huff a pleased little laugh into his mouth and delight in his hand pulling you in further. 
He nips your lip when you get too excited and you pull away, flushed with heat. 
"Sorry," you say. 
"Stop saying sorry." 
Out of all his small demands that one never sticks. Still, you love him for it. You steal another quick kiss and move out of his reach to wash your hands before he can pinch something soft.
He sets you up behind the cutting board with the rest of the veggies and a knife. "Be careful." 
"Yes, sir." You give him a salute. 
He stares at you for a handful of seconds and then moves to the fridge.
"Don't think you're getting away with anything," he says into it. You feel his words for what they are – a promise. It's almost tempting to try your hand at another small rebellion, to steal another kiss, just to hear him tell you off. 
"I don't know what you mean." 
He snorts. "Uh-huh." Then, with much less derision, "Tuck your fingers in, okay? Guide the knife with your knuckles."
You look down at your fingertips and cringe, doing what he advises before you can accidentally cut yourself. "I am." 
Packaging rustles in the fridge as he searches for something. You slice your way through a big leek, green and white circles littering the cutting board. 
He puts down a block of marble cheddar next to the board.. "You cut that up for me. Half of it, and we'll melt it on top." 
"Gotcha."
"Thank you, dove." 
"Of course." You lift your gaze to give him your sweetest smile. 
He smiles, softened like butter on a warm day. "I love you, sweetheart. Seriously." 
You hadn't though he was joking. "I love you." 
He flicks your arm lightly. "Eyes on the knife, please." 
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michelleleewise · 1 year
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🌹Her Romeo🌹
Pairing: Avenger Loki x insecure! Female reader
Warnings: self deprecating thoughts, yelling, accusations, mentions of cheating (don't worry, he didn't), swearing, crying, harsh language.
Summary: as opening night arrives, things come to a head....
A/n- graphics by @harlequin-hangout
Part Two -- Part Three-
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You spent the next week in a haze. Between your work and Loki's constant rehearsals you hadn't hardly seen him. You knew opening night was tomorrow night but you couldn't help the loneliness that was seeping into you as you sat on the couch in your darkened living room. Looking around seeing the pictures of you and Loki hung on the walls, the smiles you both wore holding up the keys to your apartment in one, an impromptu trip to the beach in another. You got up sighing heading to the bedroom when you heard keys in the door making you freeze.
"Yes, I told you I will see you tomorrow." You heard Loki say as he closed the door "no....goodnight Samantha." He continued when you heard him walk into the living room "ah darling, your awake." He said smiling slipping his coat off seeing he was still in costume "yeah, sorry...I'll leave you be." You said continuing to the bedroom "stay...please." He said making you turn back to him "why? Samantha busy tonight?" You snarked wrapping your arms around yourself. "Y/n, can we not do this tonight? I just want to spend time with you" he sighed rubbing the bridge of his nose "oh, now I'm worthy of your time?" You asked putting you hands on your hips "y/n.." he groaned sitting in his chair "no, you have spent every spare minute with her!" You yelled feeling everything hitting you at once. "You go to her house, you bring her into our home!" You continued feeling your hands tremble.
"We were practicing y/n, nothing more!" He yelled back, his eyes shooting to yours "oh I'm sure that's what you were doing." You scoffed "what are you implying y/n?" He asked standing back up "Loki you havent touched me in weeks!" You yelled again feeling your face heat up "so you tell me, what am i supposed to think?" You said looking down. "I have not strayed, and I do recall you turned down my advances the other night." He snarked making you look at him "because you were probably thinking about her!" You snapped "Norns! How many times must i say it....i love you...I want to be with you!" He yelled making you jump "I'm going to bed." You said sternly "of course you are...go pout like a jealous child." He scoffed waking into the kitchen "excuse me?" You asked following him "you always do this y/n, you never talk to me but somehow it is my fault your upset." He said setting the kettle on the stove.
"How would you feel if I was going to another's man's house every day for a month hmm?" You asked crossing your arms "I wouldn't think anything because I trust you, which you obviously do not." He snarked leaning on the counter, "don't...it's not about that." You argued "oh? Then what is it? Because of all the people in my life I believed you would support me." He said crossing his arms "I do support you!" You yelled "but how can you be so oblivious to what she's doing?" You asked watching him shake his head. "She has been nothing but courteous. She is strong and outgoing, and you are just being insecure." He said making you step back.
You stood there staring at him, for the first time seeing anger swirling in his eyes "your right, im sorry I've been such a burden to you." You said nodding "y/n, that's not..." you cut him off feeling your eyes burn "no, I'm needy and self conscious..." you trailed off looking down "she's everything I'm not." You said looking back into his eyes "I knew the day would come when you had had enough I just hoped..." you trailed off closing your eyes. "y/n, that is not what I meant." He said stepping forward "im...I'm gonna head to bed." You said quietly walking into the living room "y/n please, we need to walk about this." He said following "I think we've said enough, I just....I'm tired Loki." You said turning back to him seeing him sigh deeply "we'll talk tomorrow." You said walking to the bedroom closing the door behind you.
You sat on the bed, staring at the wall running everything he said through your mind. You knew you were insecure, hard to deal with, and you had a feeling he felt the same, but hearing him say it outloud was like a dagger was plunged into your chest. You laid down, pulling the blankets up you allowed the tears to fall. You knew he was right, you should have talked to him, told him how you were feeling but the last thing you wanted to do was discourage him from his passion with your issues. You closed your eyes trying to find sleep, deciding you would talk to him in the morning when things calmed down.
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You rolled over seeing it was almost noon, stretching feeling Loki's side of the bed cold. Looking over seeing it was unslept in "did he not come to bed?" You thought sitting up. You grabbed your robe opening the door to the bedroom "loki?" You called out seeing the apartment empty. You walked to the kitchen seeing a cup set on the counter, a piece of paper nestled under it. You slipped it out unfolding it leaning on the counter.
Love,
I am truly sorry for the things I said last night. I would never intentionally make you feel less then, i was upset and said things I did not mean, which I know is not an excuse. Tonight is opening night and I would love you to be in the audience. I have laid out a dress with your ticket on the couch. Come to my dressing room after the show, I have a surprise for you. Love you and see you tonight.
Love,
Loki
You set the note down, walking to the couch seeing a dark purple dress with a ticket nestled on top. "My favorite color." You whispered picking it up seeing the flowing material wrapped snugly around the bodice, small crystals spread along the collar, a slit going up the side. You smile laying it back down picking up the ticket seeing it was for five o'clock. "Ok I have time." You said to yourself, grabbing the dress you hurried to the bathroom wanting to make sure you looked perfect for tonight.
You parked your car, gathering the bottom of your dress you stepped out, making sure you had your ticket you walked up to the booth, sliding it under the glass as the lady smiled at you "have a nice evening." She said as you nodded heading inside. You found your seat, seeing you were a few rows from the front, sliding in seeing a red rose draped across the seat with a note attached. You picked it up sitting down with a smile opening it.
The Brightness of her cheek would shame those stars as daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven would through the airy region stream so bright that birds would sing, and think it were not night.....Until we meet again my love. ~L~
You brought the rose closer, inhaling it's sweet scent as the lights dimmed and the curtain rose. You sat up holding the rose close when the narrator came to the stage. "Two households, both alike in dignity, In fair Verona, where we lay our scene, From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, where civil blood makes civil hands unclean." You watched in awe as Loki commanded the stage, looking around seeing the audience enthralled by him. You heart swelled with pride watching him give himself over to the role....he truly was Romeo.
It came to the final scene, you didn't care that juliet was dead, but watching Loki brought a tear to your eye as he drank the "poison", collapsing on the stage almost too convincingly hearing everyone gasp when juliet woke, saying something you weren't paying attention to as she plunged a dagger into her chest making you smile. A few more lines were said by the other actors when the curtain slowly fell and the lights came up. You jumped to your feet clapping with everyone else as the actors all came out bowing before heading backstage again. You quickly picked up the bottom of your dress sliding out heading to the backstage entrance "can I help you miss?" A man wearing a security shirt asked "yes, Loki Laufeyson asked me to come back when it was over, I'm his girlfriend." You smiled "oh right, he mentioned that. Whats your name?" He asked. After giving your name he opened the door letting you pass.
You wandered through the tight passageway, bumping into people here and there trying to find the dressing rooms "oh y/n...your here." You heard, looking over seeing Samantha standing to the side, hands on her hips. "Yeah, Loki wanted me to meet him in his dressing room." You said looking around "hmm...I'll tell him your here, go down that hall and go left in five minutes, his name is on his door." She smiled making you uneasy. "Ok, thanks." You said seeing her saunter off down the hall. You stood there awkwardly turning the rose in your hand when you decided it had been long enough. You followed where she had gone, taking a left at the end you came to a row of doors with stars on them, Loki's name written on the last one. You lifted your hand to knock when you heard a woman's voice "mmm Loki." You leaned closer, hearing movement inside followed by a giggle making your heart race.
You grabbed the knob, taking a deep breath you gathered what courage you had flinging the door open, your entire body seizing at the site in front of you. Loki was sat on a couch against the wall, Samantha straddling his lap as she pressed her lips to his, seeing his hands gripping her hips. "L..loki..." you whispered when Samantha pulled back looking at you with a smile "oops, guess we're caught." She said laughing "y/n...wait! It's not..." he started, as you backed out of the room. Loki pushed her off standing up "she was going to find out eventually." She purred grabbing his arm "there is nothing to find out! Y/n, please...i have not done anything with her, I swear!" Loki said wrenching his arm from her.
You closed your eyes, shaking your head feeling like you were going to be sick. "Love, please...listen to me." Loki said, jerking back feeling his fingers brush your arm "i..I can't do this." You said dropping the rose running back the way you came "y/n!" You heard Loki yell behind you, blinking the tears away throwing open the backstage door "are you ok miss?" The man from earlier asked as you stormed past him "just great." You muttered running up the aisle to the doors. You pushed through, pulling your keys from your clutch running to your car "y/n, wait!" You heard Loki yell, turning to see a mob of women circle him you jumped in your car, tires screeching as you took off as fast as you could home.
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You ran into the apartment, slamming the door behind you you pulled your phone out dialing your friend "Hey y/n, how are you?" She asked. You put her on speaker setting it down "Hey Val, could I come stay with you for a few days?" You asked pulled the dress over your head "of course you can, is everything ok?" She asked as you pulled a small suitcase from the closet "I'll explain when I get there, I just...I can't be here." You said going to the dresser pulling some clothes out "ok, let me know when your on your way." She said "I will, see you soon." You said going to the closet slipping on a t-shirt and jeans when your phone rang.
Pulling your clothes from the hangers you walked over seeing it was Loki. Leaning over you hit the red button before going to the bathroom grabbing your toiletries. You zipped up the suitcase, grabbing your phone you walked to the living room, setting it by the door you looked around, the pictures hung on the wall making your eyes tear up again when you saw the note from earlier on the coffee table. Picking it up you read it again in your head, tears streaming down your cheeks when a sob passed your lips. You gripped the paper in your hands tearing it apart watching the pieces fall to the floor. You wiped your face, going back to the door slipping your coat on when your phone rang again, pulling it out you hung up seeing it was Loki again before texting Val letting her know you were coming.
You grabbed your suitcase, locking the door you made your down to your car. Unlocking it you threw the suitcase in the trunk, slamming it as you made your way to the door "y/n!" You heard, turning your head seeing Loki running down the sidewalk. You jumped in, pressing your foot on the gas as hard as you could smelling burning rubber as the car took off, looking up seeing Loki standing on the sidewalk holding his head in the mirror. You took a deep breath, trying to clear your thoughts as you drove to the outskirts of for city. The adrenaline wearing off making everything come back when you pulled up to the three story house at end of a winding road.
You got out, grabbing your bag you walked up the sidewalk as the front door opened. "Y/n, are you ok?" Val asked stepping outside. You stood there looking down trying to get your thoughts in order dropping your bag "n..no, no I'm not." You sobbed as everything hit you, tears streaming down your face when val wrapped her arms around you squeezing "sshhh, it's ok." She said rocking you back and forth "no, it's not." You sobbed, gripping the back of her sweater crying into her shoulder "come on, let's get inside." She said, pulling away She grabbed your bag leading you inside. "I'll put on some coffee and you can tell me everything." She said setting your bag by the front door.
She walked to the kitchen starting the machine as you wandered into the living room plopping down into a chair by the fire. Closing your eyes you tilted your head back wishing you could wake up from this nightmare.
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@vbecker10 @mochie85 @lokisgoodgirl @springdandelixn @kinky-faerie @xorpsbane @midnights-ramblings @simping-for-marvel @holdmytesseract @kkdvkyya @slpnbty2001 @lokixryss @vane28282 @violethaze @coldnique @aniar4wniak @nate-ate-hate @buttercupcookies-blog @brattymum96 @dukes2581 @your-taste-on-my-lips @mybabyh @blog-the-lilly @irishhappiness @sinsandguilt @filthyhiddles @lovebyloki @kikster606 @javagirl328 @misunderstoodself @highkeysimpingforloki @eleniblue @commanding-officer @athalialaufeyson @stupidthoughtsinwriting @lokiandbuckysdoll @loopsisloops @joyful-enchantress @jaidenhawke @silverfire475 @high-functioning-lokipath @kittiowolf210 @slytherclaw1227 @joyfullymassivewhispers @wolfsmom1 @libbybeaz @lokikissesmyforehead @goblingirlsarah @thomase1
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cyberframework-core · 4 months
Text
A New Years Kiss
What follows is tale about a depraved New Years party and one girl's new take on life.
This work contains nsfw topics and is 18+ in nature.
Kinks touched on in this story include:
Exhibitionism, Orgy, Gangbang, Corruption, Free Use
This story can also be found as a unique page on my blog!
Read it there, or simply click below and enjoy!
Three days to the new year…
Nowhere to go.
No one to be with.
Sat alone at a bar was an interesting figure, interesting to David and Janet.
Vibrant purple hair, cut in a bob.
A fitting little club dress, shimmering as the lights shifted throughout the room.
Sighing between sips, a phone screen lighting up repeatedly, never a notification to be seen.
Music was blaring through the air, and an unending flow of voices formed muddled conversations that swirled around chaotically.
One drink… two… three… more…
Losing count, yet another was ordered, and as the song shifted, a new face took seat directly to the right.
"What are you having?" A stranger's voice inquired.
"Started with margaritas… just tequila now.
As the bartender placed a newly poured glass down, the stranger spoke again "I'll take what she's having, thanks."
"This is a pretty high energy place right now, so what's got you seeming so down?" the stranger pushed.
"What's it matter? Clearly I'm alone, ever think I want to be?" our person of interest replied.
"Checking your phone every 30 seconds? Honey, if you want to be alone, then I want to have a broken neck."
Another figure sat to the left. "Whisky, straight."
"So hun, got a name? Something I can call you while we chat?" The voice to the right pushed further.
"Just… fine…
I'm tired of my life, tired of who I am, so you know what, just call me fucking Nova, let me start fresh."
"Well then, hi there, Nova. Name's Janet. I'm sorry for intruding but it's not often you find someone all alone at the bar like this unless they're in need of a talk."
And so it was that Nova vented, drunkenly expressing her want to start new.
She and Janet chatted for what felt like hours, and David sat listening to the left all the while.
And when Janet got up to use the restroom, Nova turned and looked at him.
"So, you two related or something? You've been sitting here listening for a while now."
"Ah, apologies, Nova. I find I have more restraint than my… sister, yes. It was a bit off just standing around all on my own once she came over and started chatting you up. David, by the way."
Nova, knowing well the feeling of loneliness that a bustling bar can bring when you've got no one with you, simply shook her head and took a deep breath.
"So, you heard my rants to your sis, got any input?"
David only chuckled behind his hand before responding. "I'll tell you what, meet me outside the local park tomorrow at 7:30 and I'll take you to dinner. Then neither of us will need to feel so lonely, hmm? Or would you rather I pick you up?"
As Nova scrawled her number and address down on a bar napkin, Janet waltzed by, hand brushing on David's shoulders, walking straight out of sight without returning, but Nova didn't notice a thing.
Two days until the new year.
Somewhere to go.
Someone to be with.
Nova sat in the lobby of her apartment building, donning an elegant, fitting black dress.
The slit up her leg revealed her lace-patterned stockings, but kept the garter-belt holding them up hidden.
Her lipstick perfectly matched her hair, and the soft skin of her back lay exposed, awaiting her jacket to keep warm.
Her legs were crossed, one bouncing up and down as she checked the time.
7:32…
"Nova, you look wonderful. Shall we?"
She glanced up, finding an outstretched hand and a smile.
At the restaurant, the two sat.
"How'd you know I love sushi?" Nova asked, glancing up from the menu.
"I just thought you'd look wonderful wi… sorry, um… let's call it a good guess."
Nova's brow rose inquisitively, "You're going to finish that thought, right?"
"Once we have our food, I'll speak as openly as you wish." David jested in response.
With plates before them, and a miniature bamboo boat-load of sushi between them, they began their feast.
As Nova filled and emptied her sake once more, she smiled playfully. "So… finish that thought? I'm dying to know the truth."
David took a deep breath and admitted some times Nova was certainly not expecting to hear. After all, who admits on a first date that their a depraved pervert?
"Looking at you last night, I thought you'd look absolutely perfect laid out with a banquet of fresh sushi on your bare body. I know… I know… I won't be offended if you leave now. I'll even call you a cab if you'd like."
"Nyotaimori." Nova said with a smirk, "I'm looking for a new life, that one could be fun" she giggled.
The night continued, with periodic lewd remarks followed by childish giggles.
Nova told herself one thing before leaving her apartment, "The new me says yes."
And she held that mantra to heart, and it made her feel happier than she had been in quite some time.
"You know, I'll be hosting a New Years party tomorrow… do you have any plans?" David's inquiry shot straight into Nova's heart.
"N…no…" she said sorrowfully.
"Come then, you'd be a wonderful addition to the party!"
And with that, she spoke her mantra aloud, "The new me says yes, so yea, just give me the time and place and I'll be there."
And so, David provided the details. His address, starting at 9PM, and wear anything "or nothing," so long as you're comfortable.
New Years Eve.
A party to prepare for.
Countless eyes to show ones new self to.
8:20, Nova scrambled to finish getting ready.
She thought to herself "Wear anything so long as I'm comfortable…"
She thought of who the new her was… she had given herself a new name without so much as a thought, but when it came to actually defining "who is Nova," she was struggling.
"I am Nova. I say yes. I am happy. I don't overthink or stress!"
With those words spoken nude before a mirror, she grabbed what just felt right, and was ready in mere moments.
Her purple bob-cut barely revealed the glistening black cage earrings gracing her ears.
Lips glistened with a glossy purple sheen as she glanced in the mirror.
Her choice of eyeliner made her near-indigo eyes pop.
Her black, fine-mesh crop-top swung loosely as she turned, her pierced nipples visible…
"Nova doesn't need a bra… right?" She thought to herself, before stopping with the reminder to let instinct take hold.
She snagged a small black vinyl skirt and thigh-highs to keep her legs at least somewhat warm.
On went her long, heeled boots, followed by her warm winter coat.
Finally, a choker snug around her throat helped her feel secured.
She checked over herself.
Phone in her clutch, cards, but is this who Nova is?
"If I'm going to be a new person, I need to do things I'd never have done before…" She said quietly, but without hesitation.
She stepped back into her bedroom and did something daring.
Off slipped her generic black panties.
On slid her deep purple, lacey ass-less thong.
And with a little aid from her own spit, in slid her purple jewelled plug.
"Daring and sexy. This is Nova!" She said with a smile, putting her coat back on and hurrying down to catch a cab.
As the door to David's apartment opened, Nova took a deep breath. This was it, her new year, her new life.
Janet spoke loudly, "NOVA! So glad you could come! And ooh, such a hot look, I love it!"
"Where's David?" Nova asked hesitantly, wondering if this was a mistake.
"Oh, he's just down at the service entrance helping get the catering up. He'll be here momentarily!"
Nova glanced around, she certainly was making a statement with her outfit, but she was comforted in seeing that many of the other women there were also wearing somewhat revealing clubbing outfits.
But Janet… her figured was enhanced by an elegant silver dress, glistening in the light with each step.
As the minutes passed, David finally arrived, greeting Nova with a kiss, which caused Janet to gasp slightly before giggling.
"Come with me for a moment, there's something we need to discuss." David's tone was strict and direct, and made Nova's heart flutter.
She followed close, holding his hand like a schoolgirl in love, blind to her surroundings.
Into a dark room they entered, and the door closed behind.
Lights on.
There Nova stood, David to her right, Janet to her left, both smiling bright.
"Thank you so much for joining us tonight, did David tell you what he was hoping to see from you tonight?" Janet said peacefully.
Nova was confused, but answered without hesitation, "I just said yes when he asked, so here I am, the new me!"
Janet shook her head and glanced to David, "Really? Keeping her in the dark?"
David chuckled, "Timing, dear. Timing. You see, Nova… You're beautiful, and I'm sure you know well after last night that I'd love to fuck your sweet little brains out, but I did lie… or well, she did, I merely maintained that lie. Janet is my wife."
David continued to explain how Janet first noticed Nova, wanted her.
The two expressed how their odd little relationship goes, but Nova's head was swirling, was this new her already crumbling?
She sat down, and David and Janet knelt by her sides.
"This 'new you'… what is it she needs?" David asked warmly.
"Fun… to not think… you know… I fucking wore a plug in my ass because 'Nova' is a sexy fucking slut who doesn't care! I don't care… So what do you two pervs want?"
She spoke with aggression, with sorrow, but with determination to prove herself.
"Well… if you're willing, would you care to be tonight's entertainment? Janet would normally, but something tells me you'll make this party unforgettable." David said calmly, his eyes looking deep into Nova's… he was being genuine.
From 9 to 10.
From 10 to 11.
The party went on.
Drinks were plenty, food was enjoyed, guests were all worked up from the music… and knowing that "entertainment" starts at 11.
10:55, Nova was nowhere to be found.
And as the bell tolled the eleventh hour, the music faded, the lights dimmed, and out from the upper hall strutted Nova.
Confidence on her face.
David's cum already leaking down from around her plug.
Janet's juices making her lipstick glisten more than ever.
And as she stepped up to the center of the room, David took the mic and addressed the crowd.
"Tonight, my dear guests, your entertainment is going to blow your mind.
So gather round, enjoy the show, and make sure to thank our sweet little Nova however you please."
Time faded, the world faded, pleasure… pleasure… pleasure.
Nova's memory would be adrift, whenever she thinks back, she remembers someone putting a gag between her lips.
She recalls to feeling of countless loads of fresh cum flooding through her holes.
She can feel the grip of hands on her soft skin, leaving imprints as the grunts of two men fill the air, just as her ass and mouth felt filled.
She longs for what segments of memory she lacks, longs to know how thoroughly she was used.
But all she can recall is that she was amazing entertainment, and was left feeling broken in the best ways possible…
But as for the now, there was one woman on top of Nova.
Arms and legs bound to the table legs.
Oversized strap pressing against her cervix.
She could feel the vibrations of a toy, but couldn't feel where it was.
The woman moaned, kissed Nova's cum soaked lips, and Nova felt wetness as the woman shuddered with pleasure.
"Fuck yea, squirt all over that whore!" A man's voice rang out from behind the woman, he had been thrusting deep inside the other guest without Nova even knowing.
Nova felt groggy, and as the rubber cock pulled from her sore, stretched hole, silence fell once more.
"We are in the final five minutes of the year. Everyone, check your tickets."
"Tickets" Nova thought, unable to speak.
All around her guests pulled out raffle tickets, and on the makeshift stage, David pulled one from a jar, stepped over to the used, cum-soaked doll that was Nova, and with a sharpie in hand, wrote out a serial number before untying her.
He walked her back to their makeshift stage and presented her, reading the number aloud.
No one cheered, only sighs.
Then a hand raised and voice called out, "THAT'S MINE!
Everyone clapped as a new face stepped forth.
"WILLIAM! EVERYBODY, WILLIAM IS THE LUCKY WINNER!" David cheered, the crowd responded.
"Winner… what's the…" Nova's question was cut short, Janet had placed hands on her shoulders and leaned in, whispering.
"Every year we hold a raffle for who gets to take fill up the entertainment at midnight. Maybe you'll even find yourself staying with him if he's lucky. Like an owned prize of a whore." She giggled and kissed Nova's dripping cheek.
Nova's mind felt broken, body felt used… she took a deep breath, stepped up to William and looked him in the eyes.
"Before you take me…" Nova said hesitantly. She gestured for the microphone.
David handed it over and Nova's voice rung out for all to hear clearly.
"Before this week, I hated myself.
But I decided to start new.
Everything new… but I couldn't escape the past until now.
William, you've won the raffle… so William… sir… you've won more than a hole to fill at midnight.
You've won a doll.
Break me.
Ruin me.
Shape me how you please.
Just promise me that you'll rip away everything I once was and give me a wholly new life, and I will love you."
As the crowd counted down the seconds…
As the fireworks burst out the window…
As the new year began…
Nova knew she had found a new life, a new purpose, a new everything…
As William skull-fucked her in front of everyone, he gripped her hair, looked down and mouthed something unheard in the commotion.
And while Nova could never read lips, she knew in her heart what he had said, and as the light in her eyes flickered from lack of air, she felt her whole self shudder with an orgasm like she'd never experienced.
And as she fell into sleep, losing consciousness while being taken, she felt at peace.
"Who needs a simple New Years kiss when you can find yourself with a throbbing cock forced between your drooling lips?"
That became Nova's New Years mantra for every year since.
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transingthoseformers · 8 months
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I return from my haze with more.
But yes the whole Lost Light is twittering with this newest scandal while Getaway seethes–not caring–and Magnus acts as a Professional Cock Block while privately compiling a list of traits Rodimus prefers in a partner and ones Magnus believes would be improvements over Rodimus's past choices. He reluctantly concludes Drift, though it pains him, was the best choice, and that was an "almost"n a sniffly Rodimus had confessed halfway through Martinis and Movies night when they were watching romcoms.
Megatron's arrival and Rodimus's reaction seems to put a damper in the "cute" romance the rest of the Lost Light was invested in. Except of course, Magnus keeps personally bringing Rodimus updates on everything and denying anyone else the chance to. Getaway's offers are shot down per SOP Part 3, Non-Required Voluntary Interactions.
Getaway is almost convinced that it's a lost cause–and he is fine with that he's over Rodimus. The breakup was Getaway's decision anyway, vicious and irreparable and before the bright mech could break up with Getaway now that Hot Rod had the Wreckers fluttering around him like that sonova glitch Blurr.
And then he notices Magnus and Megatron brush their fingers when doing a hand off of datapads. A perfectly normal accidental touch. Except Magnus wiggled. Just a little field wobbled. No outward wavering. Getaway watches, and he did the same thing when the Slagmaker pats him on the shoulder and thanks him for his work. And, hmm, Megatron doesn't need to lean in so close or whisper so intimately, does he?
Oh, poor Rodimus. Getaway is now convinced Magnus is having an affair or at least the beginning of an emotional one, though Megatron seems interested in more if Getaway is pinging right. Now he just needs to get proof and show Rodimus for reasons because clearly their dear Captain needs to know. And if Getaway maybe helps give Magnus a little push, that's his business.
Clearly, he wasn't that great if he was cheating.
Getaway never cheated.
Though his usual group probably won't listen due to Getaway's…investment in the topic. But he does know of one person on board who is disgustingly obviously gone for Rodimus and would definitely want to help if there was someone wronging him.
Thunderclash. The guy who Hot Rod and he had initially bonded over disliking. Ironically, the one who was going to help him now.
-
Rodimus, meanwhile, has a crisis.
He doesn't think Megatron is good enough for Magnus, who has been helping on the whole friendship thing, which he really needed with Pipes and Drift gone and Riptide kind of tense.
But he also wants to support Minimus's feelings.
But Minimus isn't aware of said feelings.
But there's no reason Rodimus needs to help him realize there's anything more going on than friendship.
Rodimus decides cock blocking Megatron from getting to hold Minimus's hand is clearly the best way to repay that favor. Even if it means literally sticking himself between them at a both at Swerve's or pretending to be drunk so he can "drunk cuddle" Magnus as a distraction or has to volunteer to do paperwork so Magnus supervises as "encouragement".
Megatron definitely knows what is going on but also isn't aware of the rumors yet because he only socializes with Magnus (who doesn't know) and Ravage (who knows but knows they're false) and Rodimus (against his will).
I may or may not be being lectured the entire time I'm writing this but
Mmmhm yep there's Getaway "not caring" yet again
I HAVE ESCAPED THE LECTURE ZONE
Maggy is really playing the wingman goddamn!
Martinis and movie night
I would kill to see those two getting half drunk and watching comedies
Makes sense Meggsie's arrival will shake things up
Mmmhm suuuure Getaway. Interesting that it was him that broke it off, Oh Interesting that it was a "I know he's gonna break up with me so I'll do it first" sitch.
Hgghhhh yes and thus the Minimegs begins to bloom, and GETAWAY SEES ALL. another reason why Megs has to go in his book zdffdssf. Of all the things Getaway can excuse apparently assumed cheating is not one of them.
... getaway I see your plan here and I think it's hilarious. He's seriously gonna play matchmaker and encourage Mags to "cheat".
Thunderclash yes
Of course Roddie disapproves of Maggy's crush, makes sense makes sense, but also that he'd want to support his friend. Because that's what he and Minimus are now, he could've never predicted he'd be in this situation.
Mmmhm yes of course Rodimus, do for Mims what he did for you. Oh he is absolutely down to be a physical barrier, that's hilarious.
So Meggsie is absolutely in the dark because he's got the social circle of a goldfish in a tank full of minnows, gotcha.
These 💖idiots💖
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galactic-pirates · 21 days
Note
Writing asks: 11, 22, and 31, please!
Thank you so much for the ask!!
11) Three tropes that are fine but overrated Hmm this is a hard question because first the instant anyone asks me to name things like tropes - head empty, no thoughts. Total brain fail. Second, I don't know, I don't like to judge things. This is how I wound up writing Time Will Tell (Sanctuary Soulmates fic) because I never liked the Soulmates trope. So I challenged myself to see if I could write a version I liked and I did.
If a trope is 'overrated' is that less the problem of the trope, and more just the versions being read? Not everything can be to everyone's taste. One person's absolute favourite fic, can be somebody else's 'backspace, run far away', or just 'meh'.
I've been enjoying rambling about the romance tropes that purlturtle picked for the bracket lately. There are some there, that just are not my thing at all. Does that make them overrated? It means they aren't for me.
I'm sorry this doesn't really answer the question but it's the only answer I feel like I have.
22) What is it about watching the same two idiots falling in love over and over again? I touched on this actually in one of my recent rambles on the bracket. I think I was talking about soulmates and fate, and saying that I didn't like it because love is a choice, and it takes work. Thank Eve Baird for saying that real love is hard and that's how you know it's real. But I do love those two quotes about (paraphrased) "no matter the universe I would find you, and choose you" and "I hope in every world there's an us" and it's sort of like that with the infinite ways the OTP can be together. It's transcendent. It's like that multi-verse spanning love in action. Sort of 'proving' how right they are for each other because they just fit. It doesn't matter if it's canon or AU, canon-divergent etc. Some things are just meant to be.
In other words it's comforting. Bringing order to the chaos of the universe. Saying that in this corner all is well because these two (or three) idiots have each other.
31) What was the most difficult fic for you to write (but in the end you made it)? I think I have a "kill it with fire", it's awful, it's unfixable, I can't do this, I'm fed up, I don't want to, I hate it etc. moment with most fics - or at least the longer ones. Although short fics can be buggers as well, especially if they have to be short for some reason. I loathe word limits with the fire of a thousand suns.
I don't know if I can really say that any particular fic was harder than any other. I would probably say that when I was struggling with it, but after? when it's done? The pain is temporary and it's hard to remember after. Each fic brings it's own challenges. Besides if anything was truly too much then it wouldn't qualify for the 'in the end I made it' because I didn't. My abandoned Librarians fic in the structure of the Rashoman Job (from Leverage) attests to this.
(as I'm not sure that I really answered a couple of these I'll tack on another for you)
25) Is writing the whole thing beforehand better or worse than writing it as you go? It is better because there's no risk of writing myself into a corner, and then having to abandon the fic. If I make a mistake I can go back and revise etc. I can post with absolute confidence as I know it's complete. Plus if something goes wrong then it can just live on my HD indefinitely and I can switch to a different project. It's very freeing. Would 110% recommend (I wrote all my fanfics like this from 2020 onwards).
BUT there is something to be said for a live audience. Back in the day when I first joined tumblr/AO3 and I was writing for Rumbelle, I wrote everything 'live'. I don't know if it was the fandom, the time, or what but I got a lot more engagement. There was more community and that was nice. Writing is lonely and what I miss more than anything is being able to talk to someone about my WIP, them being enthusiastic and sort of bouncing off each other. Never posting a WIP means there is zero possibility of that ever which is sad.
Still I would recommend writing it all out first. I feel like it makes for a more coherent story but that's the novelist in me.
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legend-of-cupcake · 4 months
Text
Thank you for the tag @krispyt <33
1. How many works do you have on Ao3?
I have 7 under my name and 1 anon, although I'm just going to put it back under my name I think.
2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?
147,865
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Mostly for TBHK, but I have a couple for Genshin as well! However writing for TBHK is more comfortable for me
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
Red String of fate (1,159)
Clean Slate (357) ((This is the fic under anon but I'm going to change it probably lol))
I love you, please don't go (204)
Under the Red Crescent Moon, I Could Hear the Demons Whispering (195)
Kindness from the Devil (185)
5. Do you respond to comments?
I used to, but honestly I'm terrible at it now. I don't go on my account very often anymore and I don't receive emails when I get comments (personal choice), so it can be a long time before I see if anyone's left anything. But I do always try to get back to them!
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I love you, please don't go wins this I think.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Uhhh, I'm not really sure? But I'm going to go with chapter 20 of Red String of Fate. After so many near kisses throughout the fic, having HanaNene finally get their kiss makes this the happiest ending... Probably idk XD
8. Do you get hate on fics?
No, thank goodness.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Welllllll, I've tried to write smut. But I just don't have the knack for it, I can't handle the cringe while writing it and I can't read it back.
10. Do you write crossovers?
No and I never will. Nothing personal but I hate crossovers.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
My fics aren't good enough to steal lmao
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
No.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No, but I'm open to it!
14. What’s your all time favorite ship?
HanaNene, HanaNene, HanaNene!!
If the day ever comes where no one supports HanaNene, it's because I've died. I will never not love those 2.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
I don't even have a proper name for this WIP, it's called Possession AU in my documents. It was a KouNene fic, but you could also see it as HanaNene although they are not end game :// It's a real shame, the fic almost has 8,000 words to it, but I just have no motivation to continue.
I also have another WIP called Boundary Bound Nene-chan, but I only got a few paragraphs in and never touched it again :// The concept was pretty cool as well, Nene wakes up inside a mysterious place (later discovered to be a boundary) with no memories. She meets a boy named Tsukasa, who informs her she's dead, and together they try to find a way out. This was leaning very heavily into Yandere Hanako, which is usually right up my alley, but yeah again no motivation.
Last one I'll share is a Scaramouche fic, the temporary title was 5 times Scaramouche failed to be human and 1 time he didn’t. It's self-explanatory I think, but I started it before his backstory cutscene was revealed, and I lost confidence and motivation since what I was writing didn't match it at all. This one will 100% never be finished sadly.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Hmm, it's hard to say. I think I have good ideas and concepts, and I can keep the flow of the story moving at a decent pace. I also think I do well with character interaction? Maybe? Idk.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Descriptions. I am so so so bad at describing things, I think I find it hard to actually put myself into the scene, so I struggle to really get into the details of the environment and such. My paragraphs usually are on the smaller side, which I hate because I really want to immerse my readers.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
English is the only language I know and I do not trust Google Translate ^^;
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Technically speaking, it's Sonic The Hedgehog lmao, I wrote fics for that fandom in my very early teens on Fanfiction.net. No, I will never reveal my account or share what I wrote, I will actually die before I do that.
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
Hmm... Since the vamp au is unfinished, I will say it's chapter 21 of Red String of Fate. It is the only fic I have ever written and actively decided to go back and willingly read multiple times without dying of cringe... I just like it I suppose aha
Once again, thanks for the tag Krispy!! I'm not really sure who to tag, but I'll go for @milkteamoon @insipidenvy and @wingsonghalo. Obviously no pressure!! And anyone who reads this is free to join in ^_^
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tvrningon · 7 months
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9 (What’s one thing that never fails to turn your Muse on?), 18 (What are your Muse’s top 3 kinks?), 21 (How many times a week would your Muse prefer to have sex vs how many times they ACTUALLY have sex?) // more for chiyo n cyrillo ! :3
n.s.f.w. headcanons | @futurefind asks about chiyo and cyrillo!
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9. what’s one thing that never fails to turn your muse on?
hmm the first thing that comes to mind ( and can actually apply for both muses ) is just little touches/actions that could be innocent but definitely aren't. brushing your hand against his thigh " by accident, " unbuttoning your shirt a lil " bc it's hot, " etc. -- build the tension with these little things, and it's going to have cyrillo clenching his fists bc he can't touch you in polite company but man does he want to. dude is fantasizing about what he's gonna do to you, i guarantee!! you can do the same thing with chiyo, but i'll name another for her! and that thing is tugging at her hair as you kiss her. her scalp is one of the more sensitive places on her body, and if you pull her hair bc you're guiding her, trying to find a better angle to kiss her from?? she's melting <3
18. what are your muse’s top 3 kinks?
for chiyo and in no particular order, i'm gonna say oral ( receiving ofc but especially giving ), praise/teasing ( giving and receiving ), and orgasm denial/edging ( receiving ). the last one is a little surprising bc she gets frustrated and impatient when her partner draws things out, but as much as chiyo complains, she loves how she feels afterwards. the waiting and build up are absolutely worth it, and possibly having to beg for it does something for her :' ) as for cyrillo, i'm gonna go with praise ( giving ), begging ( receiving ), and having control? if that counts! i've touched upon these before, so i won't talk your ear off about them again asdf
21. how many times a week would your muse prefer to have sex vs how many times they ACTUALLY have sex?
cyrillo doesn't really have a preference i don't think? he definitely wants sex, but i don't think he'd put a number to it bc his libido does fluctuate. he just wants it to happen naturally and to be able to do it when the urge arises -- getting interrupted bc of work drives him absolutely batty. and his work really does dictate how much sex he has bc if he's incredibly busy? he's not getting any, and it starts to show since sex is something of a stress reliever for him. with a high sex drive, i honestly think chiyo would have sex every day without complaint asdf it doesn't need to be a long, drawn out thing every time, either! it could just be a quick, hasty moment before plans with friends, a lil moment in the shower, etc. ultimately, though, chiyo would roll with whatever her partner is most comfortable with! but if she's not in a relationship, she's not having any sex bc it's not something she'd do with just anyone.
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carbo-ships · 11 months
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Chapter XVI
Beginning: Chapter I Previous: Chapter XV
Breakfast had never been so rambunctious. Each ghoul took their turn revealing their face to Ardis, the demons all fighting over who would get to go next. She ooh-ed and ahh-ed and fawned over each one of her friends, and was especially excited to see that each ghoul had a slightly different set of horns. Swiss had practically ripped his helmet off, his tight curls bouncing free from their confines. He immediately made use of his newfound ability to wink at the young woman, which made her blush and giggle. Aether rolled his eyes. Some things never changed.
When it was finally Sodo’s turn to remove his helmet and cowl, Ardis was once again rendered speechless. Messy, dove grey tresses tumbled all the way down to his chest as he shook them out of his face. His bright blue eyes met hers to find she was staring. He chuckled. “Everything alright?” he asked.
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It took Ardis a second to snap out of her surprise. "Yes, sorry!"
"You weren't expecting the hair, hmm?" he guessed with a grin, carding his fingers through it to make himself more presentable.
“Not at all! It’s… Well, it's beautiful!” she gushed, clearly delighted.
Sodo was hopelessly amused. Ardis had never looked at him like that before. He was starting to understand why Aether liked having her undivided attention so much. She was incredibly easy to read, and it was flattering. Deciding to lean into it, he rose from his seat and made his way around the table to stand before her. He bent at the waist to bring himself to eye-level with her, his hands in his pockets. “Go on, then.”
“Huh?” she asked.
“You can touch it, if you’d like to,” he clarified.
Her hand reached forward almost involuntarily and gently stroked his silky hair. She was nothing short of ecstatic, her sheer excitement overriding the embarrassment of her enthusiasm. His tail swayed side to side with mirth as he smiled at her warmly. No longer able to contain her joy, she shot out of her chair and pulled the slim man into a tight hug. He laughed and wrapped his arms around her, letting her nuzzle his cheek affectionately. "Are you quite satisfied, dear?" he teased. She released him and apologized sheepishly, although her grin never left her face. He gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze, returning her grin before making his way back to his seat.
Once all the reveals had been made and everyone was done eating, Ardis joined Papa for the morning stroll she had promised him. They walked arm in arm through the gardens, chatting and laughing as they caught up. He'd missed his angel more than he ever expected to. She'd only stayed with them for a couple of months during her initial visit, but she quickly worked her way into his heart. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so protective over someone. Most members of his church could fend for themselves well enough. But Ardis? He couldn't stand the thought of anyone making her frown. He'd have to have another chat with Aether to make sure his expectations were set.
"Papa?"
Her voice dragged him out of his thoughts. "Sorry, my love, yes?"
"Is everything alright?" she asked him. The look of worry on her face made his heart melt.
He smiled at her. "Yes, tesoro. I was just thinking about how glad I am to have you home, even if just for a moment."
"You know I'll come back again," she assured him with a giggle, "especially now that Aeth and I are…" She seemed too embarrassed to finish her sentence.
Papa laughed. "Yes, now that you and my ghoul are, what, dating?"
She nodded, her cheeks flushing.
"As you ought to be. You should know, this is the first time I’ve seen the man take a partner.”
Ardis stared at him in surprise. “What do you mean?”
“He’s had the occasional night with a member of the church here and there in the past, of course, but nothing like this. Not since he’s been at the church, at least. It’s a side of him I’ve never seen before. You'll have to forgive him if he's a bit clumsy navigating things initially. I believe it's rather new territory for him."
"Oh." The notion flustered her. She'd subconsciously assumed that Aether had accumulated a long list of partners, and that she just happened to be the most recent.
"But, as always, if something ever doesn't feel right, you are more than welcome to seek my counsel," Papa reminded her. "I'm sure you know by now how much I care for you."
She gave him a shy smile. "Thank you, Papa."
"Of course. He's told me himself that he's head-over-heels for you, so I don't anticipate any trouble, but–"
"Head-over-heels?" she interrupted with a stutter.
He laughed. "Yes, dove. He had quite a bit to say in your absence. I take it he's clammed up since you've returned? Let me assure you, any attempt of his to appear calm and collected is a façade. He's fallen just as hard as you have."
Next: Chapter XVII
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ruthiesrambles2 · 9 months
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Fics I'm never gonna finish part 12: Y2 Christmas Party
Based on this wonderful fic by @train-pirate 😍
"One Schnapps!" Ruth announced as she plonked herself ungraciously on a stool at the bar. Her hair had worked its way loose from dancing, and hung framing her face. That and her make up - so much heavier than her usual day-to-day - made her seem so much more a normal person, so much more approachable, that Zarah couldn't help but grin at her across the bar.
"Am I drunk or are there two glasses there? I only want one," Ruth asked, furrowing her brow as Zarah clinked the small glasses down onto the wooden surface.
"You are drunk, Ruth. But only one is for you. I -" Zarah lifted the closest glass and swallowed the contents in one go, wincing slightly. "Am officially off duty."
"I'll drink to that," Ruth replied, raising her own glass as if to toast the woman behind the bar before drinking it quickly and easily. The liquor had ceased to burn several drinks ago, and instead all Ruth felt was the warmth of it as it settled in her stomach. It wasn’t often she got to truly let go, and she had told herself in the mirror many hours prior that she was going to really unwind tonight, to be completely and unapologetically Ruth for once.
Zarah poured them each another, winking as Ruth raised her eyebrows.
“Well I never said I was going home,” Zarah laughed. “I figure if I stay on this side of the bar, no-one will notice that a lowly worker like me is crashing the party. And if they notice I’m having a drink -”
“We shall just tell them I bloody well insisted you did,” Ruth half-whispered conspiratorially.
“Buying me a drink now are you?” smirked Zarah, “Aren’t you quite the flirt, Miss Wardell.”
Ruth’s cheeks blushed red, but she didn’t reply. She knew Zarah was teasing her, making a joke, but the truth was Ruth had been enjoying the view a little more than she cared to admit. Instead of thinking too hard about that, though, she swallowed down another Schnapps.
“I haven’t seen you in the Nightcar for a while,” Zarah said, changing the subject. “You were becoming a regular for a while there.”
Ruth nodded, recalling the appointments she had booked with Audrey on so many or her rare days off. For months on end, her experiences had been small moments of calm whilst she felt otherwise totally adrift, dealing with unexpected feelings that had taken her totally by surprise.
“Yeah,” she laughed nervously. “Miss Audrey helped me work through…that little issue.”
Zarah held her hands up in mock defense, sensing Ruth’s anxiety.
“Hey, I don’t know what went on in there, promise. S’all confidential.”
“She gave me some good advice on getting over someone,” Ruth replied, not able to stop herself from sharing anyway.
Zarah snorted.
“Is it getting under someone else? It’s getting under someone else isn’t it.”
Ruth blushed again, not needing to confirm with words.
“And?” asked Zarah.
“And nothing,” replied Ruth. Zarah raised her eyebrow. “I’ve been too busy with work. But just knowing it’s okay to let that happen has helped some.”
“Well you’re not too busy right now,” giggled Zarah.
“Now who’s flirting?” Ruth smiled, a warmth in her cheeks.
“I meant,” came the exaggerated reply, “there’s plenty of options here tonight. Let’s find you someone to take home.”
Ruth probably should have argued, but instead she turned to survey the crowd as Zarah leant bodily across the bar, their heads almost touching as they stared out across the dining car. She had promised herself, after all. And she had at least the next 24 hours free, something that might not happen again for a long time. Ruth made a mental note to thank Melanie for that. Which was a mistake, as the familiar ache crept up inside her, churning the alcohol in her stomach.
“What about Amelia?” Zarah’s question, her head nodding towards the woman who was in deep conversation, was thankfully enough to shake Ruth out of her thoughts.
“The Notary? Hmm. I don’t think -”
“What are you two doing?”
Ruth snapped her head round to find Jinju approaching the bar, her face flushed from dancing, or drinking, or both. Ruth’s eyes followed the line of her long necklace, a delicate chain that flowed down her neck, her chest, ending in a small fish shaped charm that hung down between her breasts.
“Fishing,” giggled Zarah, and Ruth caught herself, quickly dragging her eyes back up to Jinju’s face.
“Ohoh,” guffawed Jinju, lightly tapping Ruth’s arm and following her line of sight. “Good for you, Ruth.”
“She’s getting over someone,” Zarah explained over Ruth’s head.
Ruth didn’t meet Jinju’s eyes, but felt them boring into her nonetheless. If Jinju had any idea quite who she was getting over, she didn’t say it out loud, but instead she pointed to the far side of the dancefloor.
“What about Boki?” asked Jinju with a grin. “He’s a bit rough and ready but I’ve heard he’s got a really big -”
“JINJU!” Zarah exclaimed, and Ruth covered her ears.
“Heart! I was going to say heart!” Jinju giggled.
Ruth and Zarah both groaned in response.
“I think he might be spoken for,” added Ruth after a moment, nodding to the gaggle of women dancing around him.
“Fine, fine. What about the Notary?” Jinju asked.
“That’s who I suggested,” prompted Zarah when Ruth didn’t immediately reply.
They both looked at Ruth expectantly.
“I just…” Ruth couldn’t find the right words.
The three of them sat like this, heads pressed together like schoolgirls, surveying the room for quite some time.
“You’re being very picky for someone who wants to get laid, Ruth,” Zarah announced after another round of drinks, earning her a glare before Ruth pressed her face into her hands.
“Ughhh,” she groaned, before sitting up and downing the liquid quickly. “I’m not trying to be. I’m just… out of practice. Nervous.”
Jinju gave Zarah a pointed look behind Ruth’s back.
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taintedsoul-if · 1 year
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Oh oh my I didn’t think my idea was like yours I only came up with that because in my twine story a character off mine creates dimensions and can evade the Mc. (Super Hero)
But that’s awesome you will add a stat (hehe)
I mean it’s a brain turner that’s for one.
I mean she is at this point unkillable hmm 🧐
Question how does she remember is it like with Flash when he changes the timeline or is it like a coma patient it comes back over time?
Because if it’s like flash I got a way but it’s more of pushing her mental state to the breaking point then we she rewinds time she will look insane no matter what.
Also is their another person who can do what she does?
I got to work on my story now but this has helped me think of a possibility but it’s more complex I’ll need time but I’ll be back ohhh before I go since you have helped me to when I release my demo I’ll let you know
Bear hug 🤗
Bear hug! 🤗
Alright so it most certainly isn't like flash power. You know how you rewind a movie to your favorite scene? That is kind of how her ablity works. Her ablity only works in a forty eight hour period. Which means it will need to cool down for at least an whole three hours.
For example. Your MC could get a passing grade on their exam. Yesenia could rewind time to the point before the exam started. By rewinding time she can also gets to see a glimpse of what happened in that exact time frame. So all your answers will be revealed to her. Am I making any sense?
Yesenia never loses her memories. By rewinding time, she also has the ablity to wipe a person's memory. So that they won't have any recollection of what actually happened.
Time riffs are hard to explain. I'll leave that to the professionals.
And anon please do! I'll reblog the hell out of that demo. Now I am just excited. Can't wait to read it. Tomorrow I'll start planning out the type of MC I want to create for your If! 😲😫 I can feel it. Your if is going to be so good!
Woah! Who's that person and can we eat I mean date them? A person who can create another dimension! I'm sticking to them like glue! Never leaving their side! Anon now you got me pumped.
But Anon remember the instructor can remove a users ablity permanently or temporarily. 🤔 the ablity that was stolen from you was disintegration. By touching that undying cockroach hand we can shatter them into nothingness. Even if they rewind time we'll do the same thing over and over again! 😈
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rocicrew · 1 year
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for the questions for fic writers: 1, 42, 48, 49, 50
1. What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work? (In other words, what do you think is the best introduction to your fics?)
hmm that's a tough question, i feel like i've written several prompts that are an easy read so that can be a quick introduction to how i view certain characters and their dynamic. and then it kind of depends what kind of pairing they're more interested in, although the majority of them are naomi centric.  i think ultimately, maybe either of the fics i've that's about naomi and filip (her life in her hands, her life's life in her hands & the way the old life haunts the new). bc they center the topics of loss and trauma and finding a way to live with it anyway and it is a theme i'm very interested in exploring with my writing.
42. Have you ever received a comment that particularly stood out to you for whatever reason?
amdnd it's one of yours actually, again we're going with her life in her hands, her life's life in her hands (i do have a soft spot for this fic despite) i was still v new to sharing my writing and it was a feat to write something that touched those themes and attempt to capture naomi's complexity in such emotions so you telling me i captured that tension really gave me a boost when i was still very unsure of my writing so thank you for that.
48. What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it?
i reread oh, body, be held now by whom you love today which does a lovely work of the push and pull naomi goes through between being guarded and allowing herself vulnerable, of shutting down instinctually and opening herself up again as a way to mend that gap during the preparation to go to ilus.  it had this line; "It’s about building something out of loss." which is fit right into my emotions after making that last gifset. the fic also does a great job of writing the intimacy between naomi and holden and i absolutely recommend it.
49. What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it!
the only wip i currently have, and it's been sitting on my docs for roughly a year has been a draolden drabble that i started after 6x06 and for some reason i have been stuck on even though it's something i'm both interested in and would like for that to be the next thing i finish and upload. maybe it's because it's been there for such a long time that i'm not sure whether to scrap it and start over or just polish some details and add some small things and post it already. oh i also have another from those kissing prompts but i haven't started it yet. and actually i think i have one nolden one but that's more fleeting vibes than proper fic.
i think i've posted an excerpt before but here's a diff one:
“Mhmm, all three of us know that I’m very hot. But, mi pensa, you’re a liar,” Naomi hummed and Drummer looked almost offended at that. But Naomi’s gaze softened as it lifted to meet hers. “You can tell me the truth,” she continued.
“I don’t know if this will work.”
Naomi tried to sit up, because that needed a conversation between them. Jim grumbled slightly at her movement and tried to pull her flush to him. That meant he hadn't fallen asleep but was edging towards consciousness. Part of her hoped he would wake up so she wouldn't have to have this conversation alone. It battled with the part of her that wanted him to catch up for all the sleep he lost. 
“Us? Or the negotiations?”
50. Answer any question of your choice, or talk about anything you want to talk about!
okay, so this isn't a question necessarily but something i'd like to do with my writing so im putting it here in hope i'll actually make it happen. which isn't something big, it's that i want to attempt one day to write a longer multi chapter which isn't something huge but it can be a fun challenge.
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tsarisfanfiction · 2 years
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3. 14. J. U. 🙃
Sorry this is a bit late, rl slammed me kinda hard last weekend...
I'll admit I'm guessing which numbered ones you're referencing because there were two numbered lists on the same day, oops, but as one of them needed a specific fic referenced I'm hoping I've got the right list!
3) Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?
Hmm... there are a few tropes around that I'm less fond of - ABO springs to mind immediately, as well as coffee shop AUs - but honestly I am a big fan of deconstructing and twisting tropes so if given the incentive and requisite curiosity of "I wonder how this would go if..." I don't think there's any trope that I would say I'd never write (I once said I'd never write a genderbend, then one happened, so...) I'm less likely to write most romance-based tropes, though, mostly because romance isn't something I generally enjoy writing quite so much.
14) What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?
Oof, that's a hard one. There's quite a few I ignore for one reason or another, mostly because I've reached the point where I write how I write and throwing something different into the equation is just gonna mess me up, but I wouldn't necessarily say they're bad because what works (or not) for me doesn't mean it doesn't (or does) work for someone else. We're all unique people, our minds work in unique ways, and different tips and tricks therefore work on all of us.
One that has screwed me over a few times though is "write at least x words a day". "x" varies, but for me I find that if I can't write that day, trying to force it just makes me hate everything, and then I feel guilty for not writing anything at all and it can take me a while to kick myself out of that and remind myself it's supposed to be a hobby. It's not a requirement, or a chore. This isn't school, or a job. This is something I do in my free time and I shouldn't force it.
J:  What’s your favourite fanfic trope?  Have you written it?
Back in the trope questions again, I see. I should admit that I'm actually bad at these because I can never actually identify "tropes" on demand, if that makes sense. I know a few core ones, but for the most part it's more "what sort of thing do I like?" and yes, I definitely write what I like! Caretaker needing to be taken care of is top of the list, probably, and anyone who reads my stuff will be very familiar with that creeping in!
That being said, if I had to pick a trope I haven't yet written but would like to experiment with one day... Soulmark AUs. They fascinate me, although (like Hanahaki Disease, another one I love to read) there's a prevalence of it being romantic soulmates in almost all the fics I've read, and I have a definite preference for platonic soulmates. But then again, I managed to write a familial Hanahaki, so maybe one day I'll manage to write a soulmark AU that fits both the trope and my own desire for more platonic/familial love fics taking centre stage.
U: Is there a pairing you would like to write, but haven’t tried yet.
Eh, if I'm honest I'm less fussed about writing ships and more platonic pairings, or ones that could fall either way (see: CaeJose from JJBA, which is a fandom I have yet to write for at all). And when we look at platonic relationships, oh there's so many I'd love to dabble in at some point.
That being said, I have just remembered one bizarre One Piece kinda crackship I came up with a few years ago and thought that I might write it but so far haven't... (it was gonna be a Wano arc AU and I thought it up before Wano happened... we're now the other side and needless to say "AU" doesn't even start to cover it ahaha)
Oh, and how could I forget Kaito/Aoko from Detective Conan/Magic Kaito. Admittedly I have something half-baked sat in my drafts so technically I have written something for them, but I've not finished anything worth posting for them. Then again, I've also yet to write any Shinichi/Ran or Heiji/Kazuha, either.
40 Questions — Meme for Fic Writers
Fanfic Writer Ask Meme
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pairofscales · 8 months
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A fresh restart
Hmm, ok.
I used to love writing and reading. But years have gone and I have lost those interests I don't know why. So I'm coming back to this page to write again. About anything. It could be a poem, lyrics, my story of the day, or just random stuff put together in words.
Today is Monday, 21 August 1.05pm. Just finished lunch with a packed meal my mom prepared for me every working day. I'm listening to Butterfly Waltz by Brian Crain on my spotify which I open in the Safari browser. It's working time, but I feel like I can work better with music.
The guy who took my money through an investment scam told me that he will give an update of the possibility to return the money this afternoon, might as well be in the evening. It's been almost 2 years. He said he's in the midst of checking the proof of transfer I sent him last Wednesday. Total is IDR 230 millions. Yeah thankfully I did transfer it to their finance director account so that they can't make any excuses to not giving back my money.
Lately I've been thinking about a lot of things. I keep stay awake at least until 3am every night. I don't know. I don't know why I don't want to go to sleep. I'm scared. I'm worried. Maybe I'm sick. Maybe I have damaged my body so badly. I smoke a lot. The amount is increasing massively. But I just can't stand without a cigarette for a couple of hours now. Imagine a boy who used to hate cigarettes a lot, and the smoke of it, have now became a chainsmoker. I do want to stop, but I just can't stop.
Last night or maybe yesterday night, I dreamed about my old friends in my sleep. Those people from high school who actually loved me. But I guess they have forgotten me now because of the way I changed. I used to be a good kid, now I'm just a smoker, drinker, all about that wild things. Except for drugs. I have never and will never touch it. I miss them. I miss those people. Why did I dreamed of them. Why can't I get along with them no more. In fact, I don't have friends now. Close ones. Not even one. It's easy for me to lose friends, and I know there's no turning back. I guess I'll be alone, all my life.
I have also been thinking about what I wanna do in my life. I've been sitting in this office chair for too long and too comfortable. But I don't know what's next. I used to have a dream (I don't know if it's still there) to be a musician. I love being on the stage. I used to experience this in high school with my high school band. But now I'm alone, I can't create a band. Shall I just continue to produce music on my DAW? But I have lost my passion for it, it's dead. Maybe I should start a new life in another country. Whichever country will do. Maybe I should be a cabin crew for an aircraft in Hong Kong? If I ever be one, I'll write it here.
The most recent one, I have been thinking shall I disappear? I don't know. Maybe I should be a monk. I'm currently reading a book written by a monk. Maybe I should meditate. Maybe I should quit life.
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