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feralnumberfive · 3 years

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The Rewatch Academy: Episode 3 of Season 1

“Extra Ordinary”

I am in no way a good analyst so my little analysis and speculations probably sound a bit goofy or pretty wild and probably mean nothing at all. Everything I put into this post about each episode is purely what I noticed or thought, whether it's funny or serious. I will be making jokes, so please just leave it at that (in no way am I trying to make fun of an actor and or character!) I am also in no way saying I noticed this stuff first. This is just what I noticed while rewatching these episodes

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1x01 | 1x02 | 1x03 | 1x04 |

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☂ First off I’d like to say that this is one of my favorite episodes of this season. It’s just soooo good

☂ The second comic book in the window features the Televator from the actual comics, so that has to be canon in the show! Also at the time that that second comic came out, Five had already left since we don’t see him on the cover

☂ It’d be cool if they actually printed Vanya’s book for fans to read

☂ Well Diego isn’t wrong when he called Hazel and Cha Cha animals because of their masks

☂ Honestly I feel Vanya’s struggle with chair placement. I’ve fortunately had the luck of playing in all three clarinet chair placements, but 1st chair is challenging. I personally found each placement very fun to play, especially 3rd, and I hope Vanya does too! (why am I talking like she’s real)

☂ Hazel talks about people living ordinary lives, but didn’t he live like that too at one point? How does The Commission recruit people? If they get ordinary people, do they wipe their memories of their previous lives?

☂ “Let’s see’em get out from behind their desks, get their hands dirty for once.” Well Hazel, Five does indeed do this even though he only had a desk job for a day. Still, he got to experience both worlds

☂ My mind is blanking on this, but how did Five get that cut on his arm? Was it from a bullet wound at Gimbel’s?

☂ Five must have a high pain tolerance to stitch his own wound but his bandaid probably wouldn’t stick due to the wet blood he slapped it over. Five sweetie you need a cotton pad and gauze for that one

☂ Wait, you’re telling me that The Umbrella Academy boys’ top uniform consists of a tank top, a white dress shirt, a tie, a sweater vest, and then the blazer? Someone asked Reginald what he wanted for the uniforms and he just said “Yes.”

☂ Five: *puts hands in pockets only to immediately take them out*

☂ Aidan almost sounds like he has an accent when he says “I'm done funding your drug habit.”

☂ Five’s so soft talking to his wife

☂ No Leonard, your bread and butter is being a creep

☂ Also, he thinks wood carving is embarrassing? If someone came up to me and showed me something they carved out of wood I would be so jealous cause it’s such a neat form of art

☂ Leonard saying that he carved wood, and in that case wooden figures, when he was a kid is a slight foreshadow of all of his tampering with his Umbrella Academy figures. He can make wooden figures but he’s also destroyed a handful of the Hargreeves figures

☂ “Never really did like The Beatles.” Well sir you’ve made me dislike you even more

☂ Vanya asking Allison if her siblings wanted her at the family meeting bugs me a bit. I absolutely get that she was literally left out of anything and everything that had to do with her siblings when she was younger, but Allison just asked her to come back home for a family meeting. Allison wouldn't have walked around looking for Vanya only to tell her that they were having a family meeting and that she wasn’t actually invited. Allison is including her in on a family meeting but Vanya is just in a bit of disbelief that she’s being included

☂ Ah yes, the only PTSD flashback for Five we see in the show! He looks so scared when he snaps out of it. I believe it was somehow triggered by the kids (I could be wrong) but do you think Five sometimes panics when he looks at himself in the mirror now since his body is the same age it was when he got stuck? Also it’s very subtle but when Luther opens the door, Five slightly jerks/flinches back. I wish we would see more of this in the show since it’s one of his major traumas

☂ “Does it matter? It’s Klaus.” Ouch! Well Five I hope you know that your siblings are somewhat thinking the same thing since they believe that you’ve lost your mind and are practically an old man crying “Apocalypse!”

☂ Five does an ever so slight huff and smirk when Luther tells him that the meeting at the Academy is important. He finds it a little funny but so frustrating in his mind that Luther doesn’t know what’s truly important

☂ Also I love that Aidan has to turn to the side so that he can keep it together after Klaus talks about his chocolate pudding waxing. Either that or he’s portraying Five as being frustrated and in disbelief. Also this is the first time I’ve noticed that he says “Ay, ay ay...”

☂ “We’re all you have. And you know it.” Oh Luther, you’re failing to see that that’s why he’s acting like this right now. He’s all frantic and crazed about trying to stop the apocalypse so that he can protect and save all that he has

☂ Five certainly is mad at Luther during his mini lecture. He’s clenching his jaw tightly and when he first speaks he hisses out the words through gritted teeth. He even called Luther by his number. He’s very impatient at this point and doesn’t care for Luther’s act of attempting to be a leader

☂ This is their first, and certainly not last, time watching Klaus go by in front of them doing something he shouldn’t be doing

☂ “You haven’t been home in a long time, Vanya.” Sir you were also just on the moon for four years. Yeah Vanya was away for a long time but Grace easily could have changed too during the four years you were gone

☂ How sweet, even though Five hasn’t really been home they want to include him in on the family vote :]

☂ I’ve noticed that in S1 that David really mumbles his lines. A lot

☂ I wish we got more flashbacks of the younger Umbrellas

☂ Diego my beloved mama’s boy ♥️

☂ It’s confusing as to which country TUA takes place in, but it’s really not supposed to be a specific one. It’s portrayed as being in North America, but you can see behind Cha Cha when she gets out of the car at the Academy the flag of the RAF, which Canada would have at a monument since it’s a Commonwealth country. At the same time though Delores came from Gimbels, which was a department store chain across the U.S

☂ The light above Five’s portrait is slightly crooked, which probably means no one has really been paying attention to it

☂ It makes me nervous that Klaus wipes bubbles onto his face. It looks like he got some in his eyes

☂ Ugh I love the whole scene of Hazel and Cha Cha walking around the Academy with “We’re Through” playing

☂ Diego: *has knives but instead chooses to punch and hit Hazel to try to make him let go of Allison”

☂ A rope-a-dope is a boxing tactic of pretending to be trapped against the ropes, goading an opponent to throw tiring ineffective punches. Diego sweetie Hazel wasn’t even trying to get you off of him all he was doing was choking Allison. The only person who got tired was probably you

☂ What’s the point in Diego yelling “Luther, go!” if he’s already going 💀

☂ Luther was there immediately when Hazel attacked Vanya. That means that Luther heard Vanya and was going to go get her to safety

☂ I will never stop signing my praise for the entirety of the “Sinnerman” fight scene(s). It gives me chills every single time. Easily one of the best scenes in all of the show

☂ Klaus must really have his music blasting if he can’t hear the gun shots right next to him

☂ I’ve always wondered if Allison actually registered in her mind that “The boy” is Five when Cha Cha says that’s who they’re looking for. Either she does realize that’s Five, is simply just angry that those two are looking for a boy, or registers in her mind that it’s Five through his superhero codename even though Cha Cha’s not referring to him in that way

☂ Diego is full on just standing in the background watching Allison get beat up by Cha Cha 🕴

☂ I love Diego’s little hand flap when he gets hit in the hand fighting Cha Cha

☂ Okay so I make everything about Five, but the whole Cha Cha fight scene with Allison and then Diego kind of scares me. Cha Cha and Hazel are both amazing assassins (they’re both probably right below Five) and neither Allison nor Diego could stop her by themselves. Could you imagine Five fighting one of his siblings? Especially with his spatial jumps? We already got a glimpse of his true combat skills when he fights Lila in S2. What a scary little old man

☂ “Vanya, get out of here!” Again, wanting to make sure that Vanya is safe and gets away. He even tried to go look for her

☂ Something I don’t really get about the Hazel and Luther fight is why doesn’t Luther just overpower him? Luther has super strength and on top of that he has giant muscles due to the gorilla DNA. Shouldn’t he be able to beat Hazel to a pulp? Maybe we have to consider that Hazel might have been altered by The Commission to be stronger and more durable, but they haven’t mentioned that in the show

☂ “Ah, you gotta cut down on that fast food, soldier.” What are you talking about Diego he literally just got off the moon two days ago aflksjfdk

☂ So Luther was too injured to jump out of the way of the chandelier but was able to push it up off of himself? 🤔

☂ I personally think that Luther’s body design adaptation for the show is really cool and that they gave him the perfect amount of bulk without making him look ridiculous

☂ This has been pointed out before, but cross-stitch foreshadowing, baby

☂ Again, Diego my beloved mama’s boy ♥️

☂ Well at least Diego thought about Vanya dying before thinking about his siblings dying because of her. The latter is ironic!

☂ The clock above Luther’s mirror reads approximately 1:30 am. Hazel and Cha Cha didn’t want to wait until morning

☂ I wonder how different it would be if Five was present at the Academy when Hazel and Cha Cha attacked. He probably would have surrendered himself to them, but it's fun to entertain the idea that he would go apeshit if he knew that they were harming his family in order to find him

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Feel free to comment or reblog with things you have noticed too!

#tra #the rewatch academy #tua #the umbrella academy #umbrella academy #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #number five #five hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #hazel and cha cha

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holyhikari · 4 years

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Okay. Okay. It’s 2020, most of the world is shut down and the first episode of Digimon Adventure aired yesterday, missing a ‘Butter-Fly’ and with a colon to spare. Life sure is something.

Gotta say I’m relieved. (For now, at least.) Sure, yeah, I got into the hype train for the reboot from the get-go and determined to just have fun, but. If I can picture all the ways something can go wrong — go BORING — down to excruciating details right from the first episode, why not? That’s what brains are for. So that’s what I did.

Should have saved all that energy.

I want to share with all of you my thoughts on this episode, break it down a little bit; how it made me feel, the few character introductions we got, the pace, the plot and its possibilities.

As much as I want to approach this series keeping the idea of authenticity in mind, it is a reboot. They chose a certain set of (popular!) pre-existent characters to explore, to work with; a balance between creating and adapting. And I’m very interested in seeing how they’ll combine the core elements of Digimon Adventure with all there is unique to this generation of kids, teens and, you know it, adults who stuck around.

Since all we’ve got is the introduction to the series, I’ll be contrasting TOKYO DIGITAL CRISIS to how the original Adventure kicked off back in 1999 with ADRIFT? THE ISLAND OF ADVENTURE!

I did try to keep this as coherent and review-like as possible, but there’s a fair amount of fan-girling and it’s all seen through my very biased Adventure-stan-colored lens. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.

‘99 starts with an image of our planet, and ‘20 starts almost the same. This time, though, we can see we aren’t alone. ‘The Digital World affecting the Earth’ is something that happens, I believe, in every Digimon reincarnation. In ‘99, it’s deeply affecting our climate. Now, the issue doesn’t seem so drastic that it’s able to reach influence organic matter and mess up many Nature’s cycles across the globe, but it’s still not looking so good for our kids. (It’s the first episode and Hikari and Yuuko almost get train-sandwiched, but I suppose that almost having your head chopped off, courtesy of Kuwagamon, isn’t lovely either.)

Anyway.

I think this Digital World/Network shot isn’t actually part of the episode? I think it’s part of the opening (I mean, not the OP sequence with the song, obviously), and that we’ll be seeing it before each episode starts. Still, it’s an interesting juxtaposition, isn’t it?

A Glorious World is upon us! I wasn’t actually expecting Butter-Fly or anything similar to it, don’t worry. I’m glad the new OP is its own thing! I want Digimon Adventure ‘20 to be as authentic as possible without losing the original’s heart. The song is nice enough. I don’t want to compare it to Butter-Fly, but I’m only human. Give me a few episodes. Gotta let go.

The OP has way more Taichi than the others. No surprise there. He’s our goggle boy. (Still, since they went for a quick throwback to the original opening, it’s a shame only Taichi was shown falling down towards the Digital World).

Everyone got a part, though. Shout out to Takeru and Hikari for being yet again the ominous, powerful baby-faced duo that is definitely up to something.

It’s so interesting that, while the other crests are shown very clearly and surrounded by sparkles, Light and Hope are only shown briefly shining in their partners’ shadows. Why is Takeru so far away from us, why is this so sinister-looking. Hi, mysterious plot. Nice to meet you.

Wherever Hikari is by the end of the OP, it reminds me of Vamdemon’s castle. Maybe she feels connected to Tailmon and follows her somehow? Angemon wasn’t shown in the OP with the older six children’s partners, just Patamon. I wonder if they’ll try to make us grieve for Angemon a second time. It’d work with me. Either way, I imagine we’re in for another last-minute Patamon evolution when everything looks hopeless.

This time, though, we’ve got Hikari from the beginning (yes, I am VERY excited about this, thank you for asking, THIS IS WHAT I DESERVE), and, while I think Patamon is more powerful in regular conditions (as in, Angemon can probably take Angewomon in a fight despite the level imbalance, but as soon as Hikari starts glowing you know who’s winning), he will now be sharing the spotlight with another Archangel evolution… as his friend or as his foe, considering that Tailmon might be a double agent of some sorts in the beginning. Welp.

Anyway. Toei isn’t fooling around, in the OP we can see MetalGreymon in a very scary-looking, glitchy fashion that I’m LIVING for, WarGreymon’s silhouette and, good grief, there’s even a glimpse of Omegamon. Talk about too much information. Maybe chill out a little? (I say this, but the adults already know all of their evos, and the kids just want MOOOOOOORE monstahhhhhrrrrrrsss….which is fair.)

MetalGreymon looks dope here. The others, though, are only shown up to their Adult evolution, even Gabumon. I don’t think they will have only Gabumon and Agumon reaching their Mega forms, and then fusing into Omegamon while everyone else only gets as far as Perfect. Again.

They wouldn’t do this to us. Right? Yeah, they would. Maybe we can have Holydramon/Ophanimon and Seraphimon later on, as a treat. Aaaaaand, depending on how many episodes — how many seasons — this new timeline gets, I’m not giving up hope just yet. Let me have Phoenixmon, Toei, you heartless thing.

Moving on to the actual episode… The first non-Digimon character to show up is the true protagonist. Our queen is back. Our little Digivice thief, Miko herself.

Just you wait, you ain’t gonna be Hikari’s favorite cat-like creature for long.

Speaking of Hikari, LOOK AT THIS WITTLE BABY GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2020 Taichi right off the bat was Taichi for me. He’s talking to Yuuko and yells “Hikariii~” so loudly Hikari hears it from where she stands, the short cutie. Their mom just hands down the phone for her without missing a beat so Taichi can comfort her through whatever she’s worrying about (her summer classes, probably). Such a sweet, natural little moment that flashes both characters out. I want more of that, please.

We’re then introduced to Koushiro! I’m not gonna lie, I cringed the first time I heard him speak. I thought the voice didn’t fit him very well. This impression faded quickly enough, though, and I’m already attached to his new voice. Later, I realized that part of the reason he sounded off to me was because of how nervous he seemed — around Taichi, of all people! In this version, they’re just meeting for the first time, so it’s very in-character for him. Guess I was kinda shocked seeing Koushiro not feeling at ease talking to Taichi. Poor thing is Anxious! And he’s overthinking about Summer Camp! And he’s happy Taichi is his neighbor! That certainly would’ve helped during the Vandemon arc back in ‘99.

Koushiro gets a little bit over his awkwardness upon hearing the news regarding the cyber attack, something he’s curious about, and finally steps towards Taichi instead of away, which is spot on. These two fall into an easy camaraderie, as they SHOULD, and they head to the train station together, where Taichi decides to, I don’t know… run like crazy on the tracks until he gets to the rogue train where his family is and stop it with sheer force of will? Yeah! Sounds like him!

And now to one of the most interesting parts of this adaption, is that they’re showing us the Crests early on and HOW they’re doing it.

Taichi is able to meet Koromon because he’s being brave.

I mean, the first time, he was chosen because of his courage, too, but they all go in together. They’re taken. They’re washed off the Earth. And while Taichi had no idea he was going to be pulled into the Net, he chose to try to save Hikari and his mom (and, a few moments later, he chose to dive in towards Koromon). This time, it feels so much more personal. The screen switched back and forth between the Crest of Courage, Taichi and Hikari, who I believed called his name. The scene worked so well! (Following this pattern, Koushiro gets his Digivice when expressing curiosity, the will to pursue an explanation for what was happening!!!!)

On the other hand, it’s sort of bittersweet they weren’t pulled in together. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad they didn’t try to introduce all of them AND the Digital World at the same time again. But… ‘99 established them as a ‘team’ within seconds. It’s interesting, though. I’m VERY curious to see how their bonding will go this time around!

Taichi and Koromon meeting was beautiful. I was worried the soundtrack wouldn’t even stand a chance against the masterpiece that is the original one, but the musing playing was so delicate, so majestic. I felt I was witnessing a precious moment. Also, Koromon’s ears twisting into how we represent the DNA while he was evolving was!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SUCH A GOOD DETAIL!!!!!!

It cracked me up when Koushiro said that what was happening was very surprising while not sounding surprised at all. I wonder how long the kid has been looking into the cyber attacks. Oh, and the Network is pretty. Prettier than I had anticipated, though not that different from Appmon’s style, I think? I can’t wait to get a look at the actual Digital World and see if it has that unique feeling and that odd, watercolor painting aesthetic. I hope I can trust the OP:

Did you notice that Agumon giggled a few times? He looked at Taichi with such love, familiarity and devotion and like he knew something. It felt… right. My heart. My poor, poor heart. (I know this Agumon probably has met Taichi before inside of this very Universe, like the Hikarigaoka incident in the original version, but I like to think about Universe-hopping platonic soulmates.)

Overall the sound work was fantastic, but this scene deserves a highlight. The noise of the Kuramon lookalike moving after evolving was genuinely disturbing. And look at how pretty this is:

Speaking of evolution, AGUMON EVOLVING INTO GREYMON WAS THE SHIT. I loved how straight-up FERAL it was, while still keeping the “Digital” part of “Digital Monster” very much present. It reminded me a bit of Hosoda’s Greymon (most amazing Greymon to this day!) in the Digimon Adventure Movie and, now that I think of it, of him fighting in some Tri. Reunion scenes. Scary Greymon is the best Greymon. Yes. I like it when the Digimon manage to disturb and scare me, okay? They aren’t called monsters for nothing.

I mean we got to see his horn literally bursting out of his skin. This is low-key terrifying. 10/10.

BUT WHERE IS THE EVOLUTION THEME SONG

I am: deceased. Cause of death: Hikari’s soft smile when she realizes her big brother managed to help them.

Alternatively, this first pic had killed me on the spot.

FINALLY, we get to see Yamato, and of course, he’s staring down dramatically at Taichi on top of Garurumon like the intense person he is. And, no big deal, there’s a cyber attack in a U.S military base and, uh, apparently the next episode is the 2020 version of Bokura no War Game?!

I— WHAT?!

No pressure, am I right? I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be falling off a good ol’ cliff with my camping buddies.

To be honest, if they intended to end it like this, it felt like this should’ve been a special episode. Maybe one-hour-long or so? Why……….HOW……….. They wanna go from the pilot straight to a Bokura no War game tribute?! The very movie that introduced Omegamon. I swear, if Omegamon’s debut is the SECOND episode, I’m gonna break. How is this gonna work. Well, at least they have us… intrigued?

The ED is so Yamato-focused it’s almost weird that his voice actor isn’t the one singing lmao. That amount of Yamatoness got me by surprise. Some of the pics look like a PowerPoint presentation of CD cover ideas for his yet-to-exist (or not) band… and I say this lovingly, okay? I love him so much.

This is my favorite one!

I lost count of how many times I listened to this song!! It also got me hooked up. What’s up with Takeru and how the writers took the whole Angel aesthetic to a whole new level?! Is he sick? Is he dying? Is this why Yamato is so sad and lonely throughout the ED?????? EVERYONE GO BEFRIEND HIM. I heard he’s a good friend.

Be right back, I’m gonna tattoo this pic to my face.

Bonus commentary!

I bet I wasn’t the only one looking for random cameos whenever they showed us crowds. Didn’t find anyone we know, but I’m sure this will change. 02 characters cameos, I’m ready for you.

Soooooooooo the Tachikawa own a tech company this time?? For all we know they own Japan. That’s scarier than the Diablomon-like virus giving Trump a headache. If so, Mimi is gonna be way more spoiled than before. Oh, dear.

I HOPE WE SEE MORE OF THESE PIXEL BABIES! That was a perfect Easter egg.

If none of these icons at the bottom is the Digimon Analyzer, then what’s the point of my entire existence?

I can’t wait for next Saturday! Even if solely to yell “WHY??????” at my screen.

I can’t thank you enough if you read this far!

#digimon #digimon adventure psi #psi spoilers #bea with the tea #I SPENT THE WHOLE DAY WRITING THIS AND........ IT'S NOT EVEN GOOD.......... OK #long post

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panharmonium · 4 years

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no man can know his destiny...

...because if we told him what it was, he might decide to tell destiny to bugger off!

all right, folks. i am obviously eight years late to this party (party? maybe not party; that’s...maybe not the best word), and i am aware that everybody who was ever in this fandom has probably already consumed all the finale reaction posts that they ever needed to read. i am putting this S5 finale round-up together for my own purposes anyway, because now that i’m no longer avoiding spoilers, i want to make sure i get all of my own thoughts down on paper before i accidentally run into anyone else’s.

fair warning before anyone decides to invest their time: this post is sixteen single-spaced pages long. i am putting it under a cut here, so feel free to scroll on by.

with that said, off we go!

in a land of myth and a time of magic (i fell in love with a ten-year-old tv show):

so, to preface this, i think it’s pretty fair to say that i very rarely complain about merlin.

i watched the first episode of merlin on a complete whim - i was by myself, on a trip to atlanta, and despite the fact that i usually never sit down and just decide to watch random tv, i was scrolling around on netflix before bed and saw merlin and thought “oh hey, that’s always been on my list as something i thought i might like.” i clicked it. i watched it. i thought it was going to be a silly, fun, low-investment show i could use to fill the spare time on my trip.

it was silly. and it was fun. it was not low-investment. i fell in LOVE.

and i know this comes through in the way i write about it, like - the vast majority of the blogging i have done about merlin has come from a place of THIS THING IS GREAT AND I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT’S GREAT. sometimes the story will go places that stress me out or make me sad, but usually that hasn’t impacted my enjoyment, because generally, when i evaluate stories, i react more to my perception of the story’s integrity, as opposed to whether or not i personally ‘liked’ the ending. so i might personally prefer stories that don’t end in tragedy, but if the story has earned its ending, with integrity, then i won’t feel any desire to criticize it. i will talk about how sad i am or how low it made me feel, but if the story has earned its ending then i can’t - i just can’t argue with it. i have to respect it.

and i think i’ve demonstrated that well enough in all the other blogging i’ve done about merlin. with 5.10 and 5.11 particularly; i felt those episodes were impossibly tragic and dark and SO unhappy, but i respected the storytelling, despite this. i wasn’t hopping on here to make posts like ‘ugh this is getting so dark this episode sucks!!!’ i was writing about the story they were crafting - which, yes, WAS getting dark, certainly - and about how impactful it was (even when that impact was just “OUCH”). i was still deeply engaged, at that time.

so - i think i have earned the right to say honestly that the following analysis does not come from a place of ‘this was SAD and that makes it automatically CRAPPY!!!’ that’s not how i assess things. 5.10 and 5.11 were devastating, but i respect them. i loved watching them. i would watch them again. i thought that the show had the potential to pull off something masterful, after those two episodes.

but the one thing this series has always struggled with a little bit is follow-through. bbc merlin is at its finest when they aren’t afraid to go barreling after the moral ambiguity and complexities that their show inherently contains (‘to kill the king,’ ‘the sorcerer’s shadow,’ ‘the disir,’ ‘the kindness of strangers,’ ‘the drawing of the dark,’ to name just a few), and they achieve real greatness in those moments. but they sometimes pull back from the difficult questions they pose. and i can’t tell if it’s that they’re deliberately chickening out, or if it’s just some variation of carelessness or ineptitude that makes them fumble the ball, but the end result is that they hit these amazing highs of “wow, i can’t believe we’re finally going there; we’re addressing the central conflict” and then all the complicated questions they asked just get dropped.

it happens in ‘the sorcerer’s shadow’ (which is an amazing episode otherwise), when kilgharrah kind of...word-of-god handwaves away merlin’s conflict, saying ‘we just gotta wait for arthur to be king, that’s the right way to go about this.’ and they double down on this by having merlin say that it was gilli, not merlin, who had betrayed their kind - which is just not - that is not what that episode had been saying, up until that point! the entire point of that episode was that yeah, merlin has in fact gotten himself into a position where he’s made a morally questionable decision to serve a regime that oppresses him and others like him. they show us how conflicted he feels when he’s confronted by this reality. they show us that he knows it’s true. it was brilliantly done - and then they pulled WAY back.

but even then i don’t think it was like...unforgivable, at that point. it doesn’t break the story’s integrity; i can definitely believe that merlin would take that tack - i’m not sure he’s quite ready to confront/accept the reality of his situation at that point. so i get it. it wouldn’t be a big deal - if the show had eventually addressed/followed through on this conflict in the end.

and i think the same is true of the episodes leading up to the finale. they were dark and complicated and tragic, but they were telling an important story; and none of the terrible things we saw happening to the characters were dead-ends, story-wise. there was a place for that story to go. there was room for morgana to have her arc resolve in a meaningful way. there was room for mordred’s arc to do the same. the place in which we found ourselves at the end of 5.11 was as dark and complicated as merlin had ever been, and it was still bursting with potential.

and then you watch the finale and it’s just - empty. i described it as a paper castle in some other post, and that’s what it felt like. no substance. it was like they stuffed us on a bullet train and whizzed us past material that should have taken an entire season to handle, and you didn’t see any of it or feel anything because the trip took ten seconds and the scenery was a blur.

it honestly felt like they thought they had another season coming and then someone popped in and told them “actually you have to wrap this up in two episodes.” i can’t think of another way to reasonably explain how dramatically the quality of the storytelling downshifts between 5.11 and 5.12. i wasn’t watching the show then, so i don’t know, but it’s - at least if that had been the case, i would UNDERSTAND what had happened. it’s just insanity, otherwise.

so anyway, with all that said, here are my own reasons for why i think the last two episodes were objectively bad writing, as opposed to just writing i don’t personally like. nobody is obligated to agree with me on any of these points, but i’m also not putting them up here to debate them, really - i truly believe that almost everything i watched in the last two episodes was poorly-conceived.

(there’s an entirely different discussion to be had, of course, about the relative merits of ending your, uh, hopeful fantasy story on a bummer of a death knell, and i might touch on that later, but that’s a little bit more subject to personal preference, and honestly, it’s not the point i’m trying to make here, because to be frank, these episodes are bad without even getting into who lives and who dies.)

i. plot contrivances: EVERYWHERE.

i don’t mean plot devices. plot devices are important, in a story. a plot device is something like how merlin throws excalibur into the lake in 1.09, and then is able to retrieve it in 3.13 because of a choice he made to show someone compassion in 2.09, and thus he is able to save the day and defeat the undead. excalibur is a plot device, in that scenario - the ability to use it in 3.13 unfolds organically.

a plot contrivance, on the other hand, is artificial. it’s unnaturally convenient. it doesn’t feel convincing. it’s what you reach for when you can’t think of a way to make something happen, but a writer is supposed to look at these things when they edit and think ‘hey. if i can’t make this happen without it being contrived, maybe it shouldn’t happen. maybe i need to look at this again.’

so like, from the very beginning of 5.12, we have:

the face-sucker slug. never seen one before. never heard of it before. never given any indication that any such creature ever existed. never given any indication that “stealing” magic was something that could even happen. no idea where morgana found it. created for and introduced in this very episode, just to give merlin a reason to go to the crystal cave; removed from the episode ten minutes after it’s introduced, forgotten.

gwaine’s sudden girlfriend. NEVER SEEN HER BEFORE. NEVER HEARD OF HER BEFORE. NEVER GIVEN ANY INDICATION THAT ANY SUCH CREATURE EVER EXISTED. where does she come from? why do we care? (surprise: we don’t.) created for and introduced in this very episode for the sole purpose of explaining how morgana could get the information she needed to interfere with everyone’s plans, which was a contrived idea in and of itself, because it relied completely on making gwaine act like the kind of dope who tells a civilian military secrets.

you just. you can’t. if your plot point can’t function without a) introducing a brand new character in the penultimate episode of your show and b) forcing a long-standing character to do something they just wouldn’t do, you can’t use it. you just can’t. you have to figure out something else.

this lady’s very existence is nonsense. absolutely, utterly contrived. to waste that much time on a character we’ve never seen before and don’t care about, in the last two hours of your five-season show...incredible.

morgana’s army. they outnumber camelot’s forces “five to one.” where did they come from? how did she amass such a force? in season 4 she was losing all her allies - the episode with annis and caerleon was specifically designed to show us how people were turning from her methods and aligning with arthur. and then she spent two years in a pit. how did she amass such a force in such a short period of time? what could she offer them? why do they fight for her? there is no explanation of who the “saxons” are or what they want - the show just needed an army for camlann.

aithusa. aithusa was, apparently, just a vehicle to enable mordred to obtain a blade forged in the dragon’s breath. beyond that, he served no purpose. he literally just vanishes, along with that entire storyline - the future of the dragons, everything - just dropped, forgotten, never mentioned again.

morgana in the crystal cave. “gee, i finally caught merlin, the guy who’s supposed to be my doom. i think i’ll just...trap him behind some rocks. wouldn’t want to kill him, while i have him completely powerless and at my mercy. how then would he escape from this super powerful magical cave and ensure that the next step in this impossibly weak plot unfolds?”

the crystal cave itself. what is the entire point of this detour? killing time while arthur and merlin are separated? i mean, the whole “merlin loses his magic for all of five minutes” thing was a contrivance itself, just to ensure that merlin and arthur had a reason to be separated during the battle. but even putting that aside, once merlin is in there, and balinor says ‘you have to go into the light to discover who you truly are, you have power of which you cannot conceive’ - what purpose did that serve? all we see merlin do once he gets to camlann is call down some lightning. he’s done that before. he...he did that in season one.

the entire detour in the crystal cave changed nothing. it was a contrivance to mark time so merlin didn’t arrive at camlann at the same time as everybody else.

arthur at camlann. the idea that we are supposed to believe that arthur somehow finds himself all alone on that battlefield, long enough for mordred to sneak up on him and stab him and for him not be found by a single other human being until merlin shows up. he is the KING. there is no conceivable circumstance where his army lets him go wandering around by himself after the battle has been mostly won. it doesn’t make sense. it isn’t believable. it’s a contrivance to make sure mordred has an opportunity to get him.

“only the sidhe possess such magic.” the SIDHE????? you guys. the last time we saw the sidhe was in that gooftastically wonderful filler episode where a pixie wanted to bone gaius. you can’t - you just - you can’t center your entire ‘this is how we save arthur’ plan on a race of beings that we haven’t heard of since early season 3 and which we never knew anything more about than that they once possessed a farting princess.

“not without the horses.” are you telling me. that the reason they don’t make it to this fabulous isle in time. is because. their horses. were conveniently scared away. that’s what killed the glorious once and future king. the horses ran off.

and the horses conveniently ran off because they were conveniently scared away by morgana, who conveniently happened to show up because she was conveniently put in a position to extract information from someone who conveniently knew where arthur was going - all of this, of course, predicated on the impossible-to-believe assumption that a) gwen would ever tell anybody where arthur was going, when the stakes were this high, when nobody needed to know and camelot had already fallen prey to spies multiple times, and b) that gwaine and percival would, if they did for some reason know where arthur was headed, be so foolish as to literally serve themselves up to morgana on a plate, when they know that the whole point of this scheme is that they WANT morgana to hang out in brineved wasting her time in order to allow arthur to reach the isle safely.

I SAY AGAIN: if your plot point cannot function without making characters do things we just do not believe they would do, you can’t use it. you can’t. you have to revisit what you’re doing. you can’t just make anything happen that you want to in order to drive the story to the place you want it to go. it has to make sense.

kilgharrah. is called just in time to deliver a pat explanation of the ending, but not in time to shuttle arthur over to the isle? merlin could have called for a ride ages ago. merlin and arthur weren’t traveling fast, or far. it’s not like kilgharrah was having that much trouble getting around. we see that he handles carrying the two of them just fine. we see that he flies away, zoop, no problem. there is no reason for him not to have been called even a single hour sooner, other than that the plot demanded that he could not be, because the plot demanded that arthur not get there in time.

it breaks the boundaries of disbelief. it takes you right out of the story. it reminds you, inappropriately, that all of this is a thing someone planned (poorly). all of it is contrived.

ii. dropped plotlines

i can’t believe i actually have to say this.

i’ve seen tv shows tank before, but usually, when tv shows tank, it’s just that the quality of their writing has declined, and they’ve resorted to resolving their plotlines in ill-conceived ways.

i have never, in my life, seen a tv show DROP all of its major plotlines before it ends. i have never seen a tv show just. FORGET. to address their premise. never. i still can’t believe it actually happened. i’m sitting here trying to remember if the merlin finale was actually some kind of anxiety-induced fever dream i had while i was gearing myself up to watch the last few episodes.

merlin bbc had, at its outset, two major plotlines. these would be supplemented later by other throughlines (many of which were also dropped), but the two major ones always stayed the same, one for arthur and one for merlin:

for arthur, the question of him one day becoming the greatest king in history and uniting the land of albion

for merlin, the question of him one day liberating the magical community from oppression and being able to live free from fear

those were the two constant throughlines in this show, from episode one. the struggle to unite the land of albion, and the struggle to make the land a free and just one for ALL of its people, not just those without magic.

this show, somehow, ended without actually addressing either of these things.

it’s amazing. i don’t even know how they managed it. somehow, this show ended without actually ending.

to elaborate on this (and other dropped plots):

a) the once and future king: we never see a united albion. the show is driving at it, in seasons 4 and 5, when arthur makes peace with annis in S4, and then gets annis’s permission to travel through her lands in 5.01, and then helps Mithian’s father in S5, and makes peace with odin in 5.04, and then tries to make peace with the sarrum in 5.08, and it’s all making sense, and you expect that plotline to continue until we see its eventual fulfillment at the end of the show. you would expect, if this were supposed to be such an important thing, that the big struggle at the end of the series would have been all the peoples of albion united together against a threat.

but we never see any of these kingdoms again. we never hear a peep out of them. no one ever mentions them. it’s like they all just vanished into the wind. as far as we’re aware, camelot fights morgana’s army on their own - it’s like annis and odin and godwyn and rodor and those five kings that came together to sign the treaty in 2.10 never existed.

the dragon says at the end, “all you have dreamt of building has come to pass,” but we’re just like - WHERE? we literally didn’t see it! it was never shown to happen! you can’t just say that the most important outcome of your five-season series happened when it never did! it demonstrably NEVER DID! you can’t…..oh my god, you can’t...try to end your show offscreen, lol; i don’t know what else to say!

look - this is something i wrote before i knew how the series ended, when i was considering the possibility of arthur dying:

i wrote that before i even knew what happened. that’s not the result of, you know, retroactive complaining because they killed a character and i didn’t like it. i was doubting the idea that they would even be able to kill arthur, because i legitimately didn’t believe the show had shown us the uniting of albion yet (and they hadn’t, lol).

it just...it truly doesn’t make sense. something got tangled as they approached these last episodes. in 5.10, finna tells merlin, “without you, emrys, arthur cannot build the new world we all long for,” indicating that it hasn’t been built yet. but that scene takes place just a few weeks before the finale - you’re saying “the new world” hadn’t yet been accomplished at that point, but now, a few week later, it has? arthur didn’t DO ANYTHING in that interval! we saw camelot fight off a bunch of invaders (alone) like they’ve done a billion times before. there was nothing to hint that now albion is united.

and if finna was referring to the “new world” meaning a magical world, i mean - arthur didn’t do anything to build that, either. he died.

something happened. some wire got crossed. i don’t know what it was, but it meant that the show ended without actually closing out Main Plotline #1.

b) one day, we will be free: this show also somehow managed to end without addressing the plight of the magical community, which was THE central conflict of the show for all five seasons. more than that, it was the show’s premise - it was how they crafted their entire idea; it was one of two defining features of their pitch to BBC: that they would “wind back the clock” to when the characters were young, and that magic in this universe would be outlawed.

they literally abandoned the show’s premise. the episode directly preceding the finale was entirely about camelot’s wrongdoing and the right of magic-users to stand up and fight for their rights. it is not a crime to fight for the right to be who you are. and then we literally never heard a word about this struggle again. it was dropped like a hot sack of bricks.

IMPOSSIBLE.

and yet

it’s just left, twisting in the wind. we have no idea what happened. the one and only glimpse of camelot that we get at the end of this show has nothing to do with magic; it’s grim and somber people chanting ‘long live the queen’ in the throne room. and then we’re gone from that place, forever, never to return. it’s like they don’t even remember that ‘freedom for magical folk!’ was the driving source of conflict for the entire show. you would never have known that “magical oppression” was ever a feature in this show, if you just watched the end. camelot’s wrongs are never addressed, never referred to, never amended. the fate of the magical community is never hinted at. we don’t have any inkling of what happened to those people. we literally do not even have any indication of whether the magic ban was lifted.

it’s like none of that ever existed. it’s like the show just FORGOT its entire premise.

this truly might be the most unbelievable thing about the finale, for me. i’m still having trouble wrapping my head around it. in a roomful of writers and editors and producers, not a single person pointed out “hey uhhhh...we haven’t actually resolved either of our plots?”

i was exposed to enough vague reactions from fans to expect the finale to be disappointing. i assumed that the show would resolve its major plotlines in ways that i either didn’t approve of or found unsatisfying.

i did NOT expect them not to resolve their major plotlines at all.

i have never seen a tv show literally forget to end. never. never seen that happen before in my life.

c.) i am the last of my kind: the reveal of merlin as a dragonlord ushered in a third important plotline - his responsibility to the dragons, his duty to protect them and help them thrive. and the question was always ‘all right, so as a dragonlord, how is merlin going to ensure the survival of the dragons as a species, since they’ve been almost exterminated - .’ and that was also dropped. like a hot potato. like it never was. we never get clarity on what the heck was going on with aithusa, and then at camlann, aithusa just vanishes. gone. literally never to be seen, mentioned, or wondered about again.

d) i am old, merlin: this is a smaller thing, but in 5.10 the show starts this subplot about kilgharrah being unwell and merlin suddenly confronting the idea that kilgharrah is not, in fact, immortal. and it was actually very poignant and made me emotional despite how kilgharrah kind of drives us insane. they set us up for the idea that we are going to lose him. they set us up to expect that we will eventually see merlin arrive at a place where he doesn’t have that voice in his ear anymore, kind of like when luke goes to cloud city and obi-wan can’t help him.

but then, in the finale, kilgharrah just shows up like he always does, and there’s no mention of anything that came before. he’s fine.

it’s - it’s inconsistent, it’s not appropriate; there’s no emotional throughline. the exchange they have in 5.10 is such a beautiful moment, when a wavering merlin asks “what will i do without you?”

and kilgharrah says, like it’s the simplest thing in the world, “you will remember me.”

that’s such a powerful thing. for someone like merlin, for someone who has lost so many people who mattered to him - you can feel that line expand to cover miles and miles of ground. it’s about more than just kilgharrah.

but having kilgharrah then show up at the end of the finale to deliver his neat little explanatory summary the same way he always does dilutes that previous moment down to almost non-meaning. there’s no emotional consistency. they emotionally prep us for this figure’s departure, and instead he shows up, the same as always, with no reference to the fact that a few episodes ago we were getting ready to watch him leave us.

it’s not good writing. it just isn’t good writing.

iii. i want you to always earn your ending

i think it’s hard to come to grips with the idea that bbc merlin was specifically a show whose kind of...big premise was being a deliciously torturous slow burn up to some massive and long-awaited reveal, and then it fizzled just before it gave the audience what it had been leading up to for five seasons. it’s really just...wow. i’ve seen shows fizzle before, obviously, but the fact that this one was specifically built on the idea that you were waiting for something momentous (and inevitable!) to happen - which then doesn’t happen? that’s just...hoo boy.

the long-awaited, promised “payoff” doesn’t happen in any way that is convincing or satisfying or remotely plausible. it’s a little walk in the woods, and it ultimately doesn’t matter, because as soon as it’s over, so is the show, and everybody except merlin is long dead.

not with a bang, but with a whimper, indeed.

for a show that had its audience waiting on tenterhooks for five seasons for merlin’s secret to be stripped away, the fact that the show’s biggest “payoff” ended up carrying so little weight and feeling so unconvincing is truly a shame. there was no way for the show to give this concept the weight it deserved by flying through it in thirty minutes. the audience knows that there’s no way this could have been resolved so quickly, so everything that happens between the “reveal” (such as it was) and the end feels...false. it doesn’t seem real. it’s not believable. it feels (again, to use the word that truly sums up the entire spirit of this finale) contrived. rushed and squished together to be neatly tied up in the time they had available.

and that’s poor craftsmanship. stories shouldn’t feel like ‘well, i needed to reach x destination no matter what, so i made this that and the other thing happen to ensure that we got there.’ a reader/viewer shouldn’t be able to sense the presence of the author. they shouldn’t be able to feel the hand of god reaching in and arranging pieces to force a conclusion or extract an emotion that hasn’t been earned.

stories, if they are crafted appropriately, should feel like they have no author at all. like they just are. like everything that happens is the natural next step to whatever came before, as if events could not possibly have unfolded any other way. and i don’t feel like the “reveal” and arthur’s reaction to it met those criteria. all the supposedly super sad and emotional moments they were having at the end made me feel absolutely nothing, because the things arthur says don’t feel real. they haven’t been earned in-story. i felt like i was watching that sequence from a hundred miles away...just like...clinical. removed. like i was taken completely out of the story. like i was in the lighting booth of a theater watching some scripted scene play out below me.

(and this might be the time to mention that this has NOTHING to do with the actors. the entire cast was killing it. they were AMAZING. their performance threatened to wring emotion out of me even despite me being completely unconvinced by the idea of what was happening.)

but that aside - how can you stay immersed in something when you can feel the creator’s hand coming down and forcing a resolution that doesn’t make sense, that hasn’t been earned? it snaps you right out of the suspension of disbelief that all stories require you to maintain in order for you to engage with them. the writers needed arthur to say these things sometime before the end of the show, and so he says them, regardless of whether or not it would ever actually happen like that. but i didn’t believe it, because it wouldn’t have happened like that, and so the emotional impact was zero.

here’s the truth: you can’t use lines like “i want you to always be you” and expect me to get weepy about it when you haven’t earned that kind of resolution. it’s a false tearjerker. the writers are relying on our previous emotional attachment to these characters and our burning desire to see merlin validated in order to slip a contrived resolution past us without actually doing the work to make it plausible. they’re playing on our affections in order to cover up the structural shortcomings of the story they cobbled together.

i don’t like when a story tries to manipulate me like that. i’m not going to play that game.

iv. you are destined to be albion’s greatest king (*thor face* are you, though?)

i think there are probably some people out there for whom arthur’s death would have been a dealbreaker no matter what the rest of the story looked like. i respect that.

i’m in the camp where i could have accepted the ‘legend-compliant’ ending, if only it had been earned. as it is, arthur is never allowed to fully realize himself before he dies. the show keeps saying, and i quote, “one day you will be the greatest king this land has ever known,” but arthur skips off to avalon after having reigned for a whopping total of three years, during which time he is not shown to accomplish the only goal that was prophesied for him (uniting the land of albion) and during which time he also becomes further entrenched in his father’s anti-magic views (along with the hypocrisy of using magic for his own purposes), as opposed to ever seeing the error of his ways. he doesn’t right his father’s wrongs. he doesn’t usher in justice and freedom for all camelot’s people. he doesn’t change the status quo in camelot much at all, to be honest - and then he dies. and they try to tell us “there will never be another like [him].”

how? how can that not fall completely flat? he hasn’t accomplished his goal yet! he hasn’t become what they’ve kept telling us he will become.

so i can understand the ultimate plan of arthur shuffling off this mortal coil and being prophesied to return, and i could even accept that as an appropriate ending, but not when it hasn’t been earned. the way it actually unfolded, watching this moment feels like we skipped a season somewhere. it feels like a sham.

we’re being asked to give arthur credit for something he did not actually achieve, and it makes the whole thing feel like a farce.

v. gratuitousness and inconsistency

i had no emotional reaction when i realized they had actually killed gwaine.

that is insane, because you know how much i love him. but his death was so ridiculous that I actually started laughing in disbelief. and that in and of itself should be a sign that something wasn’t working. when your emotional beats are landing this wrong - falling this flat - something has slid fundamentally sideways with your storytelling.

i laughed when they killed my favorite knight! but what other reaction was i supposed to have? it was laughably silly! the premise itself was already foolish - that gwaine and percival would even come out here and endanger arthur in that way - and then gwaine dies because morgana used a nathair to extract information from him? we’ve seen morgana use the nathair twice before! she tortured elyan with it. she used it on alator. neither of them died. it’s never been indicated that being tortured with this creature will kill you. which isn’t to say that it can’t be the case, but from a writing perspective, if you’re going to use a sudden inconsistency to kill a major character, it’s noticeable! it’s jarring! and it makes us feel, once again, that the writers just grasped at any little thing they could think of to make what they wanted to happen happen.

and then there’s the whole question of why they wanted gwaine to die in the first place. what purpose did it serve? gwaine didn’t have to die in order for morgana to get the information the writers wanted her to have. and you’d assume that if they still killed him after that, that there would be a reason for it, or that it would at least...matter, somehow, but - WE LITERALLY NEVER HEAR ABOUT HIM AGAIN LOL. i wasn’t even sure he was dead at first. that’s how insignificant it felt. i felt like zuko in the ember island players.

that’s it. we never see him or percival again after that scene. there’s this weird moment where percival examines a footprint and the implication is that he’s going to follow morgana or something, but then it never happens. it’s like the showrunners ran out of time and were like ‘ok well, we just won’t be able to get back to that dangling thread.’ they gratuitously axed their most developed knight and then forgot they did it.

that’s why i laughed. it was so unbelievably bad - there was literally nothing else for me to do.

vi. let the bodies hit the floor (but like, anticlimactically)

i don’t feel like i need to examine mordred and morgana’s fates too closely, because i suspect the subject of “they deserved better” has already been done to death, and that’s kind of a different conversation than what i’m dealing with here. i’m not here right now to argue that they should have lived (though of course, yeah, i have my opinions on what would have made a better story), i’m just here to deal with how ineffectively the story we did get was executed.

one thing that amazes me is that when i watched the S5 deleted scenes, i realized that the showrunners did in fact originally have the right ideas about making morgana and mordred’s arcs deeper/more nuanced, but somehow these ideas never made it into the final cut. there are two deleted scenes that change so much about what could have been - one where arthur and merlin are talking about morgana and arthur is expressing regret and confusion about what happened to her, and merlin says it’s not arthur’s fault, that “there were others better placed to help morgana,” indicating his own guilty feelings.

and the other one was after mordred defected to morgana, where he has a whole conversation with her about how he thinks there is still GOOD in arthur!!!! he’s uncertain about what he’s doing! I JUST

i can’t believe

they had the seeds

of this better story

and they consciously decided not to pursue them. it’s not like they didn’t have the idea. it’s not like they just never thought of it. they thought of it, filmed it, and deliberately removed it. unfathomable.

it’s also pretty remarkable that the big baddie they’ve been touting for the last three seasons just pegs out from a stab wound in about 5 seconds as we’re being hustled on to something else. there is no space devoted to morgana’s death scene (such as it was…). it’s a parenthesis. it feels like, ‘oh we gotta get this out of the way quick hurry up let’s move on.’

and the thing is, i am not wholly opposed to the idea of morgana ultimately destroying herself - it’s not necessarily my first choice, but there are ways they could have gone that route and still told a meaningful story - but if they wanted to go that way, her death would have to matter. it would have to be treated like the terrible failure it represents. it would have to be given the weight of tragedy.

but structurally, the way this scene is set up, there is no way for this to happen. the viewers are already hyper-strung out on tension, when she appears, because they’re suddenly starting to get this horrible realization that one of the show’s two central characters might actually be about to die, but nobody wants to stop clinging to hope despite their bad feelings so there’s just this desperate, screamingly loud ticking clock running in the background, and when morgana shows up in the middle of that clenching fear, there’s absolutely no way her death can receive the attention she deserves. the audience doesn’t have room for something like that. they don’t have room to feel anything on top of what they’re already feeling. they’re already about to explode. they’re already maxed out on investment. they can’t focus on her; they want her to disappear because something more urgent is going on.

and so the show hustles us past her, and her death is just this blip. it barely registers. if you sneezed, you would miss it.

(and then mordred, for his part, doesn’t even have the benefit of a structural problem to explain the anticlimax of his death. he just gets taken out like the trash. for a character that they just spent all this time developing and making sympathetic - boy.)

i think...the thing, ultimately, is this: if this show truly felt that what they had to do was take their previously hopeful premise and stun their audience with the death of the hero, then they should have understood that trying to stack other things on top of that is too much. trying to squash morgana’s death right up against arthur’s is foolish. it’s ridiculous to expect your audience to be able to process morgana’s death and arthur’s in-progress dying at the same time. these two things happen within two minutes of each other. the audience has been following these characters for five years. it’s unreasonable to expect your audience to hold so much emotion at once.

vii. you’ll just have to trust me

the last thing i want to say is a more general thing.

the rest of this analysis focused on the ways in which the finale is poorly-crafted, rather than on my personal feelings about who they did dirty. it’s not really about my own personal thoughts re: the merits of killing gwaine and morgana and mordred and arthur or stranding merlin across the centuries; it’s about if these things (and all the other things in these episodes) were done effectively, and the answer, sadly, is no. the show could have killed all these people and still written something i would have respected (even though it would have been devastating), but that’s not what happened.

but here, at the end, i think i can make room for a little sentiment.

so what i want to reflect on here is this: ultimately, i don’t end up rejecting stories just because they do things i don’t like. the pre-finale episodes were filled with things i didn’t like. i hated how merlin turned mordred and kara in instead of letting them run. i hated how he let the execution proceed. i hated how arthur refused to see the injustice of his own actions. i hated how merlin was getting so wrapped up in ‘make sure arthur doesn’t die’ that everything else was fading away, that he was doing things he could never have done in good conscience before. but i was still deeply wrapped up in these stories, because i believed they were plausible and true. i accepted them. it made sense to me, that these things would be happening, dark and unpleasant as they were.

i don’t start rejecting stories just because they go places i don’t want them to go. i start rejecting stories when i feel they’ve betrayed my trust.

writers and readers/viewers can only ever move together if they trust each other. i allow stories to take me places i don’t want to go because i trust the authors to keep me safe while we travel. i know that they may take me somewhere i don’t want to be, but i trust that they will never take me somewhere i don’t need to be. i trust that they are taking me somewhere intentionally, with the story’s integrity in mind. a creator i trust can take their story anywhere, because i know they will take care. a creator i trust can end their story tragically, because they remember that i am experiencing it alongside them. they don’t surprise-punt me off the edge of the cliff so i can crash, alone, into the painful conclusion. they carry me the whole way, and by the time we get to the end of the line, we can both look back and see that the road that led us here was straight and true. i don’t fault them for taking me here. it was the right place to go.

the end of merlin didn’t feel like that to me. putting aside the fact that it was all so contrived that it didn’t even feel real (illustrated clearly enough in the ten pages above) - the truth is that even if it had displayed the highest quality writing in the world, the way this show ended felt like the audience had been abandoned. the bond of trust between the creator and the consumer was severed. the show forgot to take care.

i’m a ‘galaxy far far away’ girl first and foremost, so i’ll borrow an excerpt from the world according to star wars in order to make my point:

kasdan: i think you should kill luke and have leia take over.

lucas: you don’t want to kill luke.

kasdan: okay, then kill yoda.

lucas: i don’t want to kill yoda. you don’t have to kill people. you’re a product of the 1980’s. you don’t go around killing people. it’s not nice.

kasdan: no, i’m not. i’m trying to give the story some kind of edge to it…

lucas: by killing somebody, i think you alienate the audience. (x)

i think merlin forgot this.

i’m not saying that merlin shouldn’t have killed anybody at the end of their show. i’m not even saying that they shouldn’t have killed arthur. i’m saying that they forgot to take care.

merlin bbc betrayed their audience. you cannot take a show whose underlying theme has consistently been the promise of better things and then turn around and end it like that without taking special care of the people who are watching. you cannot just take an audience who has spent five years listening to someone bright and full of unflinching hope say - without any indication that anyone should doubt the certainty of this statement - “one day things will be better” and expect them to walk into this kind of ending safely.

by killing someone, i think you alienate the audience. and this doesn’t mean that nobody can ever die. but it does mean that if you’re going to kill someone, you have to understand that there is going to be an automatic pain reaction from your viewers/readers/etc, and if you want to maintain their trust, you have to take so much care. you have to be sure that you know exactly what you’re doing. you have to be sure that it’s the right thing. the only thing. you have to make sure that it doesn’t betray the fundamental promises you’ve made whilst crafting the rest of your story.

the end of merlin is truly stunning in a) its utter reversal/unfulfillment of every major promise that comprised its premise and b) the casualness with which it throws its characters away in the last episode. it’s not just “killing someone.” it’s a slaughter. we have to watch almost half the cast die onscreen, and then at the very end literally everybody is dead except merlin himself.

and this is merlin! not game of thrones! merlin is a “family show;” that’s what the writers/directors/producers keep calling it when you listen to the episode commentaries and they talk about how they can’t show certain things or make it too bloody. they wanted to follow in the tradition of “big, kind of epic family-entertaining shows, that—across generations—work on lots of different levels.” but i cannot imagine a young person who has watched this show for five years coming into the finale to see mordred and gwaine and morgana and arthur violently executed, and to see gwen in mourning, and merlin anguished and then more alone than he ever was even when he was hiding his secret, and then, whoop, there’s the credits, that’s all folks. aren’t you glad you got on this ride?

the show ends without fulfilling any of the promises it made repeatedly for years. the liberation of magic, the uniting of albion, and, for merlin, especially, the long-predicted day when he would be known and recognized for who he was - all forgotten. all abandoned. the finale finishes without giving the audience any of the things that they have spent five years being told to expect. the show rewards five years of emotional investment with death and desolation. it breaks all of its promises. it doesn’t take care.

i was lucky enough to have been so disconnected by how shockingly bad these episodes were that i mostly sat there shock-laughing at them in disbelief, the first time i watched. but going through them again to put this write-up together was just like - that’s when a deep sadness kicked in, for me. not at the ending itself, exactly, because, as i’ve said before, it was so poorly put-together that i can’t even see it as real. but just - at the idea that i still had to see it, period. that i had to witness this thing that i loved so much descend into this misery, for all that i didn’t recognize it as something plausible or true. that i still had to watch merlin drag arthur all over creation, still trying, still scrabbling for that sliver of hope, only to have arthur bite the dust like ten feet from their destination. that all merlin ever wanted in his life was to be accepted and loved for who he is, and that he put all of this on hold so he could (supposedly) bring about a world where it would be possible, and then he never gets it. that a life of hiding himself and believing that everybody around him hated who he was inside - that was as good as it was ever going to get, for him.

the writers just - piled it on. ‘you can watch mordred die, even though we just went to all this effort to make you root for him! and now you can watch gwaine die (why????? we don’t know!!! it doesn’t change the story, but why don’t you watch it happen anyway!). and now you can watch morgana die! but don’t look too long, because arthur is dying! and now you can see camelot cold and in mourning - but only for one second, because now you can see merlin, who we never showed meeting any of his friends ever again, wandering around as a solitary old man thousands of years after everybody else is dead and the universe we spent the last five seasons living in no longer exists!!!!!!’

unbelievable.

it doesn’t upset me in the sense of “it’s so terrible that the story ended that way” because i know it didn’t, really. it was contrived and false enough that i laughed through most of the episode. i know it isn’t the way things would have gone, and i won’t have any trouble forgetting it; whereas if it had been well-done, i wouldn’t have been able to dismiss it so easily. but i still had to watch it, regardless. you’re forced to watch it, because you care, and the creators know you care enough not to look away, and they use that trust to keep you glued there while they gut-punch you over and over and over again and then peace out without concluding any of their plotlines, saying, “isn’t it clever??? we really fooled you, didn’t we? technically, we fulfilled the prophecies - nobody ever said any of the characters would get to enjoy the new world they would build! i bet you’re so surprised!”

it leaves you stunned.

it’s so...mean.

it’s so careless.

i don’t have any desire to subject myself to that a second time. after i’m done with this post, i know i’m never going to watch those episodes again. they weren’t good, first of all; and if you need more clarification on that, please see the first ten pages of this document. but more importantly, i don’t feel the need to subject myself once again to the callous disregard for the trust i gave this show’s creators.

if i’m supposed to trust a creator to carry me over rough terrain, i’m trusting them to carry me all the way to the end. they can’t violently dump me to the ground two feet before the finish line, run me over with an ATV, and then expect me to willingly climb back into their arms.

viii: if you want something done right

in conclusion, i guess the one nice thing about this is that we can crawl the last two feet ourselves.

for me, sadly, i think canon!merlin is always going to end at 5.11. the last two episodes don’t feel believable to me. i couldn’t watch them and be convinced that i was watching something plausible; i felt like i was watching two hours of scripted theater. which is, of course, what we’re always doing - but if the story had been crafted appropriately, we shouldn’t have realized it. we shouldn’t have been able to feel the writer’s hand reaching in and making improbable things happen. we shouldn’t have been laughing in disbelief as supposedly “sad” things were happening in front of us, and we definitely shouldn’t have been almost falling off the couch because the last scene was so jarring we thought it was an advertisement. (the TRUCK, people. blaring across the screen and bulldozering through medieval fantasy-adventure show merlin bbc. nothing on earth or in high heaven could have prepared me for that moment.)

but the one good thing about a piece of media that ended so unsatisfactorily is that it lights a fire under people’s butts to go ahead and sort of...row the boat themselves. i was afraid, before i watched this, that seeing it would make me never want to go back to merlin again. i put off finishing season 5 for an entire year because i was in the middle of writing a fic and i thought that if the end of the show upset me, i would never want to write another word. but now that i’m finished, i’m relieved to be able to say that the finale, while it will always be a bitterly disappointing sore spot, was also SO laughably bad that i don’t feel the slightest compunction about just...letting it lie unrecognized. if it were well-crafted and i was just ignoring it because it made me sad, i’d feel guilty for being petty. but it was Just Actually That Bad, so my conscience is clear.

and so is the path to more fun things, i hope, because that is the point of fandom, in the end, to have fun with something you love in the company of other people who love it the same way.

i hope i haven’t written the last merlin thing i’ll ever write. i hope there’s more inside me that i want to say. i hope i haven’t come in too late to make connections. i hope i’ll enjoy rewatching (most of) this show someday. i couldn’t imagine that any of these things would be true, when i knew the end was going to be a let-down, but now that i’ve finished, i feel like there’s infinite room to play, and that, at least, makes me smile.

i’ve said before that this was a hell of a ride. it ended in a trainwreck, sure, but i’m not sorry i got on.

#the once and future slowburn #merlin S5 #meta

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jlanghorne · 4 years

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SUPER LONG READ: I just cannot bring myself to watch the finale & feel the need to vent..........First things first: I absolutely love the cast of good girls: Retta, Christina, Matthew lillard ( I know what you’re thinking: Dean’s straight up trash but Matt is great) and of course, MANNY mother freaking MONTANA, who in my opinion, is singlehandledly carrying this show on his sexy shoulders, week in and week out, season after season. It’s not up for debate. if he ever left the show, I’d be curious to see the viewing results. It’s not the acting that I have an issue with, but everything to do with the writing. Season 1 was just chef’s kiss!!! The cliff hanger finale: does beth shoot dean, Rio, anyone? We got to see the dichotomy that is beth Boland who proved to be more than just a step Ford wife cliche who did crafts and baked treats all while dealing with a cheating husband who lies about having cancer. I rooted for her and lived for those moments where she was stepping into becoming bad bitch Boland. Remember when she poured that bag of money in deans lap and for a brief moment saw greatness or her “quick on her feet” thinking in times of crisis. Being Rios protege was awesome to watch and it wasn’t hard to justify why Rio didn’t kill her ( now, not so much) had she been ANYBODY else (ahem, Mary pat). Ruby ( what a gem in first season) the lengths that she would go for her man and her daughter, and not to mention had no qualms about checking Beth when needed. Remember when she shot that man in the foot in Canada ☠️. Her strength and comedic relief? Yes, please. I so wish that would’ve continued. Also, she was me upon learning about gang friend getting into Beth!!! 😂 Rio Rio, Rio: ( if that’s even his real name) first things first: It’s rare that I’ve been so captivated by a character RIGHT off the bat as Rio.. usually characters have to grow on me. I mean, I was just as shocked as Beth was when she walked in to see him just chilling on the kitchen counter like his name was on the deed. I was turned on, terrified, and intrigued by his calm, mysterious demeanor that somehow left no question that he was the boss. Not to mention how fine he is, but more importantly how he moved like a fluid cheetah zeroing in on his next prey. It’s amazing the depth manny brings to the character because , when I’m honest with myself, it’s not so much manny that I’m necessarily attracted to as much as it is Rio. I loved how even though we were literally only thrown scraps of info about him, the clearer it became that he was So much more than the generic played out gangster role so typically seen. At first, I was confused with the whole tennis playing at the country club, like, “wheettt?!!! With the eagle neck tat and all!! Who ARE you?!!!!! I realized that scene was actually very on brand for Rio who we find out later is “rich bitch Rio & made so much more sense when seeing rio’s place after Beth’s breaking and entering fiasco. I was like, ooohhhhh, so you’re on a totally different wave/ grown and sexy , okay!! I’m in love. Again, I wanted to know more. And then how could I forget the “surprise, I’ve got a son named Marcus “ scene in the park.....I tell you I was beth, ruby and Annie when their mouths dropped on the bench. I’ve seen so many pov’s about how the show isn’t all about Brio, and I dont disagree with this whatsoever. But when the other story lines are stale: deans cheating behind with no remorse or accountability who has the audacity to turn his nose down at Rio who from what we have seen, knows how to take care of business (in all aspects). Then you have Annie who I root for time and time again only to be disappointed with the horrible choices, like girl! Get it together, how many times does your child have to tell you about yourself???!! And I hate how ruby and Stan always get the brunt of the reprocussions of the criminal behavior? Let them thrive and be happy, dang it!!!So that leaves us with hopes for brio.....season 2 episode 4 almost gave my heart an arrhythmia. Seeing soft-Rio and witnessing the undeniable chemistry

between the two always had me scared my tv would spontaneously combust. We’re baited by the two, week after week which tells me that somebody over at the NBC Good Girls headquarters knows what’s really up, unfortunately for us, it’s not the writers. To be fair, I’m certain that no one was really expecting the magic to play out as it did and the tornado known as brio wasn’t initially taken into account which has to be the reason for the underwhelming sub par clean up job from the tragedy that is the season 2 finale. They literally could have came up with anything, I repeat, anything and I’m sure we all would’ve taken it and ran with it, I saw many theories during the off-season and thinking some were far out but figured what the heck, we’d roll with them to salvage the wreckage as long as Rio didn’t die...they had time to brainstorm, read some fan fiction, SOMETHING, but no instead we get a cold hearted Beth who has NO remorse and NO clue how to make even one good decision, a faked pregnancy, Turner dead 🤭but wait here's another another FBI agent🤔), and of course more dean stupidity, not to mention the whole hitman nonsense. The problem with trying to make Rio the “bad guy villain”, is that it’s nothing new. Hello?!! That’s not breaking news!!!!! We knew what time it was back in season 1. We knew how he preferred taking care of bad eggs, etc. Beth knew this, too which is exactly why she refused to give him Mary Pat's name. & do y’all remember when Beth threw those keys in his face??!! Tell me you weren’t scared for her!!! The point being is that it didn’t stop us from watching then and it certainly didn’t stop beth from not only wanting to be a part of his organization but wanting to get her groove back as well. But now, the whole “ we’re good people, Rios the devil “ nonsense is weak, we don’t want to see them pretend to be mother Teresa’s all while racking up racketeering charges. What we want to see, or what I wanted to see, was women bouncing back from hard times, taking control & responsibility, finding freedom and spines, sisterhood, empowerment with a little humor & breaking the rules on the side. There has been no tying up loose ends with boomer, the cancer lie, dealing with the shooting aftermath or the emotions ( or lack thereof) I’m not really sure what the endgame is here. Do they want to dead Brio/ Rio for good so they can go back to the original plans/ plot they had before said chemistry blew that outta the water? what Was supposed to happen in the missing episodes due to Covid shortening the season. I’m torn because there is so much potential and there’s so much talent and chemistry, yet instead of being sucked in, I’m honestly dreading waisting my time being emotionally invested into a lack luster show ending. And now witSo it’s like the ending of last season all over again when they didn’t know if they were renewing for another season and we were left with one big jumbled up mess. I guess I’ll finish it since there’s hope for redemption with a new season. i Sometimes sit and daydream how dope It would be to have spin-off show with Rio, new writers, and to be honest, as much as I love their chemistry, Beth could be optional at this point. I guess time will tell if this show can be redeemed to its full potential or be another canceled disaster that ran off the tracks. In the meantime, I just started watching Graceland and i have to say it’s awesome. Thanks for coming to my Super late Ted talk

#manny montana

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paperclipninja · 5 years

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NCIS post-ep ramble 17x01

I know it’s been days since the season 17 premiere and I had every intention of writing something earlier but just didn’t have time (plus I have been so caught up in reading everyone’s thoughts and reblogging all these posts and general flailing that honestly, who has the time for anything??) but I most certainly do have a few thoughts and feelings about the ep I’d like to get down.

For those who don’t know me that well, hi :) and also, I’ve always been rather partial to a post-ep ramble (which is basically me trying to process everything by dumping many words here) so I thought I’d throw a few words down because let’s be real, ‘Out of the Darkness’ was A LOT.

Ok, so can we talk about the opening scene, because it seemed like a classic NCIS ‘guys doing a dodgy deal but wait, the team needs the vehicle’ kinda moment but then FINGERS. Actual freaking fingers on that car dash and I should mention I was live streaming this episode on the train on my way to work and I was NOT chill at this point because it was brutal.

I was having so many feelings right from the get go, I mean Ziva is back and even through we’ve had months to process this it still felt so surreal yet like she’d not really been gone for that long, except that from the very first interaction with Gibbs in the basement, you could just see that she’s different. It’s subtle but it’s there. I love that the moment Gibbs’ basement starts getting shot up and both he and Ziva are out of ammo, they immediately default to working together to create the makeshift explosive thing, no words, just right into the groove of knowing what needs to happen without treading on one another’s toes.

Meanwhile Nick, McGee and Ellie are obliviously having a drink (lol @ McGee lasting less than two seconds not talking about work), for anyone into the Nick/Ellie ship there was a nice little moment and the three of them hot foot it to Gibbs’ place after after McGee gets the call to say there’s been a shoot out (seriously, can you imagine being Gibbs’ neighbours? The weird-ass stuff that has gone down there over the years, that’d be one house you’d tell the kids to skip for trick or treating). I am so into the follow through from the Ziva set up last season, Ellie feeling like the fabric was familiar was a nice way to bring it all together.

It’s funny, after so many years of watching this show then stepping away for a little while, I’m really not sure what I expected when I heard that Ziva was going to return. My shipper heart is really just locked on to Ziva and Tony finally getting some kind of happiness, but I was unsure what it would be like seeing this character on screen after so long, especially considering the way she was written out initially. Can I just say that the way Ziva has returned to our screen exceeded any expectations I did or did not have. I never in a million years expected this show to not just consider, but actively highlight the toll of all the years of trauma and struggle of Ziva David. A credit to the direction in this scene, but as Ziva began having the anxiety attack in the sewer pipe and we gained our first glimpse of her battle with this demon, it was unnerving to see this character who had always remained so seemingly in control, so vulnerable. But it was also wonderful (and heart-wrenching and sad). I am so grateful to Gina Lucita Monreal (who I Stan v. hard btw) for showing this side to this character because to me, it demonstrates not only the character’s journey, but NCIS’s growth.

Gibbs knowing that Ziva needed space and giving it to her but then finding her in a state that clearly caught him off guard was once again something I was not expecting and I was floored, yet again, when the pills Ziva stuffed back into her pocket were actually addressed and spoken about on the bus (I realise it sounds like I’m just constantly surprised but in the past, it’s the kind of thing that may get followed up about six episodes down the track, though I’m aware there isn’t the luxury of drawn out breadcrumbs with this arc and honestly, I’m grateful).

The scene between Ziva and Gibbs on the bus is quite possibly my favourite interaction between these two characters ever. And yes, I mean in the entire series. Hearing Ziva talk about Tali, explain the significance of the necklace and then put it to Gibbs that wouldn’t he do anything if it meant he could hold his daughter one more time, ugh my heart. The ONLY thing I disliked about this episode was later when Ziva said she wasn’t talking about Kelly. I understand the sentiment and I am here for her calling Gibbs out on giving up on her every day of the week, but in that moment on the bus, it absolutely was and should have been Kelly she was referring to because it was in that moment that she and Gibbs connected on an entirely different level - as parents. And more than that, as parents who know what it’s like to risk everything because of the love they hold for a child. So while I do love that Ziva put it to Gibbs that he abandoned her, I do feel it could have been brought up in a way that didn’t diminish the power of that conversation on the bus. Because when Gibbs reached out and touched that scar on her wrist, it may have been a small gesture but the meaning was huge and yes I did start crying and no, I did not care that I was on a train.

Of course we must talk about Odette. Sweet, old, possibly an assassin or some other kind of highly trained deadly human Odette. When Bishop asked her, ‘who are you, really?’, all I could think was, same girl, same. I am so into this character and I really hope she sticks around because her turning up later in the ep with a car load of weapons and then wanting to join in just upped my curiosity even more.

I really am such a fan of Ellie, I have been since the beginning, and I did feel for her trying to balance the wishes of Ziva and her loyalty to her team. McGee’s reaction to finding out that Ziva was alive and that Ellie knew about it was definitely warranted and my Tiva loving heart is trying very hard not to read too much into everyone’s avoidance of answering whether Tony knows (read: I am 150% reading too much into it and of course he knows because Ziva has obviously been leaving clues the entire time that she’s ok and it’s fine, it’s all fine, I’M FINEEE*)

*I am not fine

Nick is immediately suspicious after the awkward af conversation in Vance’s office where every time he mentions something from the crime scene at Gibbs’, Ellie and McGee very obviously downplay or dismiss it. Plus Ellie’s sweaty neck is apparently a dead giveaway and I love that Kaisie also mentions it because when this show does funny, it does it damn well. Aside from the bus scene, my other favourite scene of this episode was in autopsy when Nick ‘I don’t even know this ninja but this is like the biggest news of my life’ Torres has just learned about Ziva and Jimmy ’you said the thing about Ziva and my ears heard it and now I think I need to sit down’ Palmer also gets clued in and honestly, this entire sequence is absolute gold. I heart Kasie so hard and her discomfort with the ‘weird air’ just lent itself to making the whole thing wonderfully hilarious and the dynamic between all the characters was so on point. Nick and Kaisie really are stellar additions to the show, it just works.

Ziva’s determination to go it alone definitely wavers momentarily after Gibbs has spoken to McGee and asked him to decode the encrypted SD card (so many lols at Gibbs asking Ziva if she wants to talk to McGee then telling him she says hi. Again, the writing in this ep is just brilliant, being able to slot in genuinely light and funny moments between the dark and serious), there’s the ever-so-brief expression before Ziva gets into the car, as though she remembers what it’s like to have a team, her team, working with her.

What is on the card of course leads Gibbs and Ziva to be standing in the man who uses phrases like ‘dope’ in front of his machete wall’s office and I have to say, his ‘what are these two homeless people doing in my office’ was accurate. The show then stabbed me in the heart with the necklace situation - either her heart or her albatross- and of course it all connects back to Ari (the parallel to Saleem ripping off her necklace was noted). We also get our answer as to why Ziva had those severed fingers in the opening scene which is still gross and brutal but also understandable and much better knowing that the dude was dead when it happened. But still gross.

One thing that really struck me was when McGee, Ellie and Nick see Gibbs and Ziva making their getaway and McGee and Ziva share their moment of locking eyes and her indicating for the team to stay put, it is Ellie who points out that, ‘she knows what she needs better than anyone else’. It was just really interesting to me that McGee’s initial instinct was to go after Ziva and Gibbs, despite Ziva clearly not wanting him to, and it is the woman on the team who points out that he needs to respect Ziva’s wishes and trust her. I have no idea if this was making some kind of larger statement but it felt significant to me for some reason. Plus I just love the respect Ellie has for this woman she has never met and I can’t even imagine what it must have been like for her to see Ziva in the flesh for the first time after harbouring her secret for so long.

We all knew Vance would find out eventually and omg Nick just cracked me up, ‘I’m the least guilty one in here, Bishop is the worst...’, he is just such a great character (in case I haven’t mentioned that enough times). I don’t know enough about Sloane at this stage and I’m a little confused about her role or position so I will catch myself up on that (or feel free to fill me in) but she also seems pretty cool. I think back to early days McGee, the nervous probie who was so unsure and then think of him in this episode, standing in Vance’s office defying orders and all I can hear is Tony’s voice saying, ‘I’m proud of you Tim’. I love that he’s backing Ellie and that he’s standing up for and trusting her and knowing Vance’s history with Ziva, it’s just all such a wonderful coming together of NCIS history and the present.

The final scene of course left us in a TBC moment as Gibbs’ attempt to arrest Sahar (or at least a woman I assume is Sahar but then it’s NCIS so who knows?) is railroaded by Ziva’s adamance that unless she is dead, Sahar will always be a threat. I can’t wait to see how it all unfolds, I’m just loving the speculations and excitement and most importantly, consideration with which the show seems to be bringing back these storylines and characters and really, I do believe we are in for quite a ride and if this episode is anything to go by, one heck of a payoff.

#NCIS #ziva david #leroy jethro gibbs #ellie bishop #tim mcgee #nick torres #leon vance #tiva #ramble #thoughts #feelings #so many words

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thechillicount · 5 years

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Bungou Stray Dogs Questionnaire

Rules: Complete all the questions you want, expand and explain your answers as much as you want, and have fun!

If you can, tag some people you want to join in on the fun!

So I tag anyone that sees this and wants to do it to have fun! Everyone is welcomed!

Thank youuuu @usagiomega

What ability would you have in the BSD universe?

(That one's hard~!)

Melodic Speed: The more I listen to music the faster and agile I get. Pretty simple, I like simple. It could get to the point that others are unable to see me because I'm that fast. (I combined two things I do most often, listening to music and being slow. Totally not inspired by Hamatora.)

If you could claim someone's ability in BSD, whose ability would you want?

(Don't say Chuuya's, don't say Chuuya's)

I'm really tempted by Edgar's ability. To trap people in books until they solve the mystery inside? I'd say dope! That would also make me write more as I have a few people I'd like to trap, just for fun~

What group/organization would you join?

Port Mafia for sure as I'm a villain at heart but still want to have a reliable and strong family around me. Also because I can wear a lot of black. But Mori can stay locked in his room.

Which BSD character do you identify with the most?

Honestly Ranpo. I do the exact same things that he does, laze around and eat baked goods. But that's only on the outside.

On the inside I identify with Chuuya a lot. Him hating betrayals is something that hits too close to home. Him wanting to protect Port Mafia that took him in after his previous group pushed him away. Him being loyal as heck not even knowing if he'll be able to stay forever or not. Like I said, hits too close to home.

Who are your top five favourite BSD characters?

(Surprise surprise)

Dazai: The very first time he appeared I took him for an asshole, which he kinda is. But then I quickly grew to like him as I was getting interested in his character on a deeper level. I like his two faced personality, he acts derpy and cute only to turn into a mischievous sadist that he truly is. The Dark Era also made me gain respect and much more love for him.

Chuuya: He introduced me to BSD when I first saw him in this MEP (bless and R.I.P MDS). So in 2016! I even remember watching BSD during Christmas Eve dinner under the table! Not gonna lie, his looks hooked me in. When I finally got him after so many episodes I was interested even more. He has some history with my boy Dazai? Show me, tell me! Until recently I've been thirsty for some more Chuuya and got it in the new season, I'm still gonna read the actual light novel though. But nonetheless, I'm satisfied. I actually hope BONES doesn't make him an another main character because I like him as he is. I like redhead hotheads like Chuuya or Taiga Kagami. Also, I was already a huge fan of GRANRODEO in 2016 so hearing Kishow was a blessing. All thanks to Kuroko no Basket. ♡

Oda: His precious heart made me love him! He just wanted to write, to take care of the kids. Each time I remember my heart cries a river. And each time something new comes to the BSD universe with him in it I love it but also can't take it.

MANGA SPOILERS

Tecchou: First of all, I really like the concept of Hunting Dogs. Second of all, this boy is precious. Justice fighter who respects people that want to protect others. The whole scene with the cafe owner moved my freaking heart, I kid you not. Unlike other members of the Hunting Dogs he doesn't want to bring down ADA just because they're supposed criminals but because it's his job to keep the country and it's people safe. And so he's doing it, no matter what he must do. I'm pretty sure that if he would find out the truth he'll try to stop his teammates and explain who's the real villain here. I hope it happens! His habits are also hilarious.

(Translation by Dazaiscans of course.)

Michizou: I don't know if I can count him as a "favorite" yet but I really liked what Asagiri-sensei and Harukawa-sensei did with him. The reveal is one of my favorite manga scenes ever! I'm looking forward to seeing more of him as I was dying to since I started watching BSD. I won't forgive him for hurting Gin though, that's one huge minus.

(Translation by Dazaiscans of course.)

Are there any authors that you'd want to bring into the BSD universe that hasn't arrived yet? Or do you have OCs?

Oh boy, here we go!

I do have one author that I think would fit very well. He's a polish poet from a romanticism era (my fave) that wrote poems, epics, ballads. His name is Adam Mickiewicz ladies and gents. Why do I think he would fit? Well, he was born in Poland that didn't actually exist and people were fighting for its freedom. So fight was already in his blood which he later on proved by becoming a commander in a battle. He was in a lot of conspiracy groups. And because of that I feel like fitting in BSD is just a matter of what kind of organization is he going to be in. He even had contact and made friends with Russian Decemberists, made enemies with Pushkin (who already is in BSD). If Adam would be in BSD I believe he'd have contact with the Rats before they fled to Japan. And because of his conspiracy origins I say he spied on the Rats from within. As for his ability I believe it would be some fighting type one as real life Adam took part in battles. I wanted to give him an ability that has something to do with his play "Dziady" but I haven't really decided yet.

Favourite Scene(s)?

Anime

Dazai floating in river; Dazai nullifying Atsushi's ability; Chuuya's reveal; Atsushi and Akutagawa fighting Fitzgerald; Atsushi hugging Kyouka; Any scene with Oda; Any scene with 15 year old Chuuya and Osamu except for the hand holding one; Fyodor killing Karma, (I'm so sorry)

Manga

Chuuya shooting bullets using gravity; Tachihara's reveal; Yosano's backstory; Mori and Fukuzawa's fight; Fukuzawa and Fukuchi scene; Any Tecchou scene; Hunting Dogs being chaotic; Chuuya getting tired and punching everyone; Dazai getting shot; Edgar getting scared by his ringtone; Dazai and Fyodor in a chess duel; Any Sigma scene.

(Translation by Dazaiscans of course.)

Favourite Quotes from the Authors/Characters?

(Thank Gods there's bsd-bibliophile~ Great help!)

Mine has been a life of much shame.

- Dazai Osamu, No Longer Human

To love someone is to put your life on the line. I don't take it lightly.

- Dazai Osamu, "Female" from Self Portraits

Bad people are to be found everywhere, but even among the worst there may be something good.

- Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Фёдор Достоевский), The House of the Dead

It is better to be unhappy and know the worst, than to be happy in a fool's paradise.

- Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Фёдор Достоевский), The Idiot

A fool with a heart and no sense is just as unhappy as a fool with sense and no heart.

- Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Фёдор Достоевский), The Idiot

(I'm currently reading Dostoyevsky in my literature class sooo)

Life is worth living as long as there's a laugh in it.

- L. M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

Because when you are imagining, you might as well imagine something worth while.

- L. M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

People laugh at me because I use big words. But if you have big ideas, you have to use big words to express them, haven't you?

- L. M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

(One of my favorite books ever)

That threw me for a loop...is that my ringtone?

- Edgar Allan Poe getting scared by his ringtone, Chapter 55

(I had to)

Certainly, people are sinfully stupid. But what's so wrong about that?

- Dazai Osamu, Chapter 46

(Can I wait till Friday for that? I'll try)

Who would you want to bring to life to be your best friend? Waifu/Husbando?

There are a lot but I'm gonna go classic and say Chuuya. I'd love to make fun of him for being shorter than me and watch him go berserk. Like I said, I'm a villain at heart. I love him tons though! Dazai is also a pick as he's already very similar to my best friend. I have weird friends.

How has Bungou Stray Dogs changed you as a person? Did you learn anything from it?

I learned that I strive to write as good as Asagiri-sensei because his writing is amazing in my opinion. BSD also introduced me to a ton of Japanese authors as it's the case with most of its watchers. And even though I don't have a lot of time to read their books now (school and grade chasing as I only have 3 weeks to improve them), I'm going to read EVERYTHING I CAN during summer vacations. Good luck to me~

#bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs manga #bungou stray dogs spoilers #bsd #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #bsd tecchou #bsd tachihara #bungou stray dogs questionnaire

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sunsetbeachsoap · 5 years

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Interview: Life's a Sunset Beach

She was going to be the next Elizabeth Taylor. These days Lesley- Anne Down takes work where she finds it - right now, it's in the best daytime soap opera since `Crossroads'.

Deborah Ross @deborahross

Monday 30 November 1998 01:02

So, here she is, then, Lesley-Anne Down, once "Britain's Most Beautiful Teenager" and once, of course, the flighty, ravishing, utterly captivating Miss Georgina Worsley in Upstairs, Downstairs. I can still see her now, in her little sparkling bugle dress, with those big sparkling eyes, flirting outrageously with someone jolly handsome in the Eaton Place drawing room, while, downstairs, Mrs Bridges was bellowing: "RUBY! ROO- BEEEEE! YOU COME AND HELP ME WITH THIS MILK PUDDING NOW, MY GIRL!" The part quickly transformed her into the nation's, and the tabloids', absolute darling. She may even have been Elizabeth Hurley before there was any Elizabeth Hurley. The prototype, if you like. And very, very big things were predicted for her. "The next Elizabeth Taylor," declared the Daily Mail in 1973. But today? Today she is not a great big movie star. Instead, she is Olivia Richards in the American daytime soap Sunset Beach.

Now, let's see, how best to give you a little thumbnail-sketch of Olivia? OK. Here goes. Olivia used to have a drink problem, and also used to be married to Gregory Richards, played by a cracking actor who can do lines, and facial expressions, but singularly fails to ever tie the two in together. Olivia has a baby son, Tres, unbeknown to her grown-up daughter, Caitlin, who is a graduate (cum laude) of The American School of Dramatic Hair Tossing - they are all, actually, very good at tossing, but Caitlin's the best - and who thinks Tres came from a prostitute. Caitlin certainly doesn't think Tres could be her brother, or might even be her half-brother, because Olivia once had an affair with Cole, who suffers under the weight of a great deal of hair gel and thus looks permanently perplexed, and who is now married to Caitlin, while Gregory is now married to Annie, who has lips like dinghies and who drugged Olivia and stole Tres in the first place before Olivia found out and Gregory divorced her, because he thought Tres died as a result of her drinking. And that's about it. I think. Tragically, Sunset Beach is only on here at 10.20am on Channel 5 which means that, for a busy, professional, go-getting high-brow like me, I only ever get to see it daily.

Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking: "Look what Lesley- Anne has come to!" And: "Where did it all go pear-shaped!"Well, if that's the case, and I suspect it is, then I can only say you are mad. Sunset Beach is, almost certainly, the best thing on telly at the moment. Indeed, for anyone who has had, say, a Crossroads-shaped hole in their lives ever since Crossroads was axed, then Sunset Beach is just the ticket, and possibly more so. The plots are ludicrous, the acting is appalling and, as for the dialogue! Well, take Olivia to her ex, Gregory, while they are stuck in a lift, and he's coming on to her, because he's unknowingly been doped with Viagra, and she finds herself succumbing: "LOVE [breath] ME [breath] GREGORY [long breath]. LOVE [breath] ME!" It's all you could ever hope for, frankly, and no Benny in his silly bobble hat, which has to be a plus.

I say all this to Lesley-Anne. She is not offended in the least. She has, she says, never considered herself an artiste in any way. Do you think you can act, even? "God, no. Absolutely not. But if someone pays me to do something, I will do it to the best of my ability, and on Mars if necessary." How would you describe what you do in Sunset Beach? "Technique. Just full-blown technique! Although it's very hard work, darling. We average four scenes an hour. We don't rehearse. It's brush your hair, then boom- boom-boom, you're doing it." So, in short, it's a matter of trying not to fall over the props, then waiting for the truck to come round with your wages? "It is certainly much better paid than Upstairs, Downstairs ever was!" She says she now takes her jobs where she can find them. She once did a season in Dallas as PR Stephanie Rogers. "Why? Because they offered me a quarter of a million dollars for seven days' work over 10 weeks. What do you think I am, darling? STUPID?" Still, she agrees that "Who shot JR?" might be up there with "Is Amy Turtle a Russian spy?" as one of the greatest soap storylines ever. "Was she a Russian spy?" she asks. I say she got off in the end, but frankly, I always had my doubts. There always looked like room for a kalashnikov under her pinny, to me. "I see," says Lesley-Anne. "Hmmm."

Although she now lives in the very Hello! territory that is Malibu - "Jane Seymour lives round the corner. Her kids came trick or treating the other night" - she is over here for a few days, so we meet in her London hotel suite. We are joined, at various times, by Lesley-Anne's younger sister, Angela, Lesley-Anne's husband, Donnie, and her and Donnie's eight-month-old son, George, who seems to have black teeth ("We think the housekeeper is feeding him juice"), plus a succession of chambermaids who knock then come in to say: "Hiya, Olivia. I just wanted to say hiya, and maybe I could have a photo, Olivia?" "Maybe a little later, sweetie," says Lesley-Anne, who isn't even very good at acting friendly sometimes. Later, she complains: "This has been going on endlessly. In fact, when I first arrived here a few days ago, I went out in the evening. I was knackered, I looked awful, I wore a big hat - but still everyone in the street was shouting, `Ohhhh, Olivia'. And `Ohhh, Sunset Beach'. I don't understand it. It is such a silly little show."

Nonsense, I protest. It's a terrific show. In particular, I love the strange kind of time warp that goes on, so that a character knocks on a door, then 139 episodes later someone finally answers it. I like the fact that there are only ever two camera angles. I like the fact it makes Santa Barbara look slick. I like... "Oh, stop," pleads Lesley-Anne. Her sister Angela interrupts to say she thinks Lesley-Anne is a better actress than she thinks she is. "You were very good in Hanover Street with Harrison Ford," she insists.

"But that was such romantic drivel, darling!" Lesley-Anne cries.

"Trouble is, that film didn't know whether it wanted to be a war story or a love story," says Donnie.

"Ag-ga-ga-ga-goo," goes George, through his spooky, rotten teeth.

I say that, aside from anything else, she did do truly great cleavage in the American mini-series North and South. She can at least feel proud of that. She says: "That wasn't cleavage! That was my spare tyre being pushed up!" Lesley-Anne is possibly rather bonkers. But, still, she can be quite bright and funny at times.

She is now 44, but is still very fine looking, with the huge green, sparkling eyes, and great bones and everything, although she might be a bit over- made-up. You know, lots of black round the eyes and lashes so mascara- ed they look crunchy. She has so far resisted plastic surgery, "but only because Donnie won't let me". "Roy Orbison died on the table getting a face-lift," retorts Donnie. "It is a life-threatening operation."

Donnie, her third husband, is a cameraman whom she met on the set of North and South. Lesley-Anne seems to have spent much of her life going from one bloke to another, actually. First it was Bruce Robinson, the actor who turned writer (The Killing Fields) then writer-director (Withnail and I, How to Get Ahead in Advertising) and with whom she lived with for 10 years from the age of 15. Next it was an Argentine, Henrique Gabriel, an assistant director whom she met in Egypt on a film set, and whom she married on a whim, but left after 18 months for William Friedkin. She married Friedkin, the director of The French Connection and The Exorcist, and together they had a son, Jack. But when Jack was two, Lesley-Anne met Don, and upped it again. Lesley-Anne and Friedkin then fought a custody battle for Jack in a case which even her own lawyer, Marvin Mitchelson, described as "the nastiest, most vicious, custody case this town has ever seen". Friedkin said Lesley-Anne was an alcoholic, promiscuous coke fiend. She said he had threatened to kill her on more than one occasion, and had used a stun gun in front of Jack. After spending a million dollars each, they eventually agreed to a pre-trial settlement and joint custody, but only after Lesley-Anne had been vetted by a team of shrinks.

She says the shrinks ultimately declared her "a super-intelligent woman" which, she adds, "was very funny, because I lied to them every step of the way. They did these Rorschach tests on me. You know, the ink-blots. And they'd say, what does this one look like? I wasn't about to say it looks like two women having it off, was I? So I said, `Ohhh, it's a beautiful butterfly."' What did they conclude about you emotionally? "That I'm a complete hysteric!" And she might be, although perhaps not dangerously so. Certainly, she doesn't seem entirely whole somehow. I think she is intelligent, yes, but am not sure she's entirely all there.

She was born in Wandsworth, south London. Her father, James, apparently a very dashing-looking man, was caretaker of the local Territorial Army Centre. Her mother, Isobel, stayed at home to bring up the two girls, although did a bit of cleaning on the side when things got tight. Lesley- Anne, however, craved a more colourful life. "I had these cousins in LA, who'd send us care packages of clothes they'd grown out of - the most amazingly beautiful dresses that were totally alien to, say, going to Clark's for another pair of lace-ups in black, black or black. So I always had this desire, and image of myself, leading this fantasy life."

She started modelling at 10, was drinking gin and orange and clubbing at 12, started appearing nude in films at 14, and was living with Bruce at 15. I ask her if she thinks her childhood finished too early. She says. "I don't think it ever started!" What do you mean? "I just never felt like a child. I always had this desire to be a grown-up. I never had friends. I never felt I belonged. I was always happiest on my own, inventing things, finding secret places. If I'd also mutilated small animals, I think I'd have the perfect psychological profile of a serial killer." Did you ever, for example, have birthday parties? "Perhaps once. Although, then again, I might just be jealously appropriating someone else's." Did you like school? "Hated it. In particular, I hated Miss Harden, the maths teacher, who had hairy armpits and never wore long sleeves."

The trouble with Lesley-Anne, perhaps, is that she focused for so long on achieving things outwardly, via her own admittedly fabulous looks, that something within her just shrivelled and died. When, later, I ask her what attracted her to Friedkin, she says: "Money, talent, power." And you find those things attractive? "I did then. I'd met men with one or other of those things but, until Bill, I'd never met a man with all three." And the combination was lethal? "Lethal is the right word. That man was MERCURY IN MY BLOOD!" She can seem quite hysterical at times, yes.

Her first modelling assignment was for school uniforms, then it was bonnets, then it was a commercial in Barbados for an American soap powder - "and I thought, this is the life". She hooked up with Bruce at a party thrown by Ava Gardner. "He walked into the room in a white coat. I was in love. I didn't have a comb, so I ran into the lavatory and used Ava's toothbrush on my hair and lashes." He assumed she was at least 18. He, nearly 30 then, wasn't best pleased to find out she was only 15. "He called up all his friends, and said: `What am I going to do?' He went though a difficult time. My parents called him all sorts of names. Bruce would pack my bags and send me back to mum and dad. `I want to be with you,' I would scream. "

He proposed to her just the once, when she was 16. "But I said no. I didn't believe in marriage then." He never proposed again, although they stayed together until she was 24. She doesn't see him now. "He's become such a hermit, hasn't he? He lives in place near Wales that begins with H." Hereford? "Yes, that's it. He has so much to play for, but just tucks himself away." Perhaps he just doesn't want the whole LA shebang? "Oh. yes. Perhaps."

She says she is happy now, with Donnie and George. She doesn't mind that she never really achieved anything after Upstairs, Downstairs apart from a number of lacklustre films culminating in Death Wish V with Charles Bronson. "I'm happy to have survived, to still be here," she says. She has, yes, had her run-ins with drink and drugs but never, she insists, excessively so, and certainly not now. She adds that it's now time for her afternoon nap. "I'm very tired, darling." Bye, Olivia, I say. And I hope you get out of that stuck elevator shortly. "Oh stop!" she pleads again.

#interview #Sunset Beach #lesley anne down #olivia

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damn-stevens · 6 years

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Initial impressions of Legion 2x06 (some spoilers)

- OK, before I get into the ep, I just wanna say this: I’m not sure why everybody seems so certain that Amy is dead. A lot of people have “died” on this show but that doesn’t stop them from hanging around and continuing to annoy David. And even if she’s not herself anymore and just an aspect of New Lenny’s personality, there’s still an infinite number of Amys in other timelines.

- That direct lift of an early scene from “A Clockwork Orange” was DOPE AF. The version in this ep features Old Homeless Man David. Check out the original:

youtube

Even some of the same dialogue! I bet that was a real treat for Dan (and Noah). But tbh this whole episode was like giving Dan an acting reward for being so good at keeping David mostly sweet and dorky up to this point.

- Speaking of Dan as an actor: he is such a generous actor and a team player. People who don’t pay attention often don’t even notice him. I was just listening to a podcast last night, in fact, where one of the (not brilliant, frankly) reviewers said that Aubrey Plaza deserves all the acting awards and then specifically called out “what’s his name” who plays David for not being that great at acting. Yes, I wanted to hurl things. Dan is not a William Shatner. He does not demand or seek the spotlight. But when it’s put on him, oh how brightly he shines. I hope that guy is eating crow tonight.

- Red and Green (and yellow to a slightly lesser extent) are very important symbols in this series. Whenever I see red I know that the Shadow King’s influence or presence is near, and when I see green or blue I know it’s a safe place or a seat of power for David. Yellow appears to be the midway point between them, maybe a place where they are both equally present, and Lenny in S1 and the Demon with Yellow Eyes reside there. So now the color thing is really coming into play in S2. If someone (Oliver/Melanie/Farouk/whoever) could convince David that Red is Green and vice versa, what would that mean, exactly? Uhhh, not sure yet.

- This episode proves that, whether David surrenders himself to the SK or not, he’s fucked.

- David can do bad, horrible things perfectly fine without the Shadow King controlling his body, as long as he is afraid, angry, and/or loses control of his emotions. A lot of the time SK just had to scare him a little and watch the fireworks. This makes me nervous in regards to things like “The World’s Angriest Boy In The World”, because as much as “our” David hasn’t been responsible for the murders he did in S1, that doesn’t mean that he didn’t kill people in the past because of his volatile nature.

- As much as Hawley claims this season is about “a sane man in an insane world” (and I’m sure that’s true in a sense), it’s impossible for David not to be mentally disturbed with everything that’s happened to him. The real question is, how did Floppy Hair Suburban Dad David get such a perfect, happy life? Probably in a much less than perfect way. In fact it might all be an illusion, a reality he made up for himself. It seems that timelines in which David doesn’t go horribly bad in one way or another are SUPER rare.

- I briefly referenced this above, but I get a strong feeling that Oliver has recruited Melanie to help him reeducate one of the infinite Davids to believe that “red is green”. You can see hints of this in many of the episodes, especially episode 1, where we see inside what we assume is Melanie’s mind because it contains the Minotaur, as well as a classroom where children are playing duck duck goose and a teacher is writing “roja =“ on a dry erase board. This might explain why Melanie is on the vapor drug. I’d have to do a rewatch of s1, but I got the impression that the vapor boosts psychic power, or maybe euphoria and mind alteration just naturally aid it. The Minotaur (whose head is hidden much like Fukyama’s) could be the Alternate Timeline David who she is putting through the maze in order to brainwash him. BUT, here’s a thought, what if the David Oliver and Melanie are training is actually OUR David? She’s always been convinced that he’s the only true weapon against the Shadow King. This is all sounding really convoluted, but this show is getting kinda timey-wimey in my opinion and I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s some major time travel stuff going on that Melanie knows all about because she’s certainly good at keeping her secrets.

- In the timeline where World’s Richest Man David lives in the future and Farouk has control over him, the vapor is red. I’m not sure exactly what this means but it’s definitely related to L/Benny and Our David taking vapor that is “always blue” (or maybe not. David doesn’t seem certain.) Drugs are a strong method of controlling David, either by prescription or illicit use. Even Office Space David, the younger version of World’s Richest Man David sniffs White-Out, which miiiight be where the singing mouse came from? (5/10/18 - Correction: actually Coffee Boy David is the younger version. There’s two Davids who work in offices.)

- Seriously tho, all Davids be cray cray. Even Floppy Hair Suburban Dad David, I’ll bet you a million bucks.

- David and Amy’s relationship is deeply heartbreaking. It’s lovely how much they care about each other, but it’s soooo unhealthy how co-dependent they are. Amy’s life is always dominated by David’s many needs, to the detriment of her personal happiness and often her physical well-being, as we’ve just seen in the last episode, and David is incapable of coping with life without her. If anything ever hurts her, and I’m sure it always eventually does, he goes BLACK AS FUCK. It’s good that he has an emotional anchor, but he needs to be his own anchor (and PLEASE Syd, don’t become his replacement anchor, because you are both less than stable and that would be such a phenomenally bad idea).

- Farouk’s affection for keeping attractive, similar looking bi/lesbian ladies as his companions seems like a reference to the Vermillion. Hmmmmmm...

#legion fx #dan stevens #legion #legionfx #david haller #a clockwork orange

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pixelgrotto · 6 years

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Link has an Akira-esque motorcycle now and that’s awesome, but this DLC is just kinda OK

So, what is presumably the final piece of DLC for The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild dropped about two days ago at The Game Awards 2017. It was one of those shadowy, no-promotion announcements that only Nintendo can get away with, and it was exciting, if only because the trailer showed Link on a FRIGGIN’ GUARDIAN MOTORCYCLE, DAMN SON. Also, following the tradition of Breath of the Wild having some of the best promotional artwork in the business, the drawing released to promote this DLC pack is basically an Akira reference! That’s so dope! But when it came time to fire up the actual DLC and gave it a whirl...I found myself kinda underwhelmed. (If you haven’t played it yet, go do that first, because spoilers lie ahead.) I’m not going to say that The Champion’s Ballad is a disappointment, because the fact that I wasn’t feeling it is mostly due to my own overblown expectations. But from looking at some reactions in the ResetERA official thread, I think it’s fair to say that myself and a host of other people were expecting something different. Ever since Breath of the Wild’s DLC plan was announced, Nintendo was hyping this second content pack up with promises of a “new original story.” From their ambiguous wording, it seemed like DLC pack 1 - the one that introduced the game’s Master Trials - was supposed to be the gameplay-focused package filled with a hard mode and other challenges, while DLC pack 2 was the one that was going to go heavy on plot content. Some people speculated that we’d be able to play as the deceased Champions or as Zelda herself. I wasn’t expecting anything that ambitious, but I was hoping for something like a little epilogue, or maybe a new map or island to explore.

What was actually released is maybe 30% story content and 70% stuff like the first DLC pack, AKA more endgame challenges and Shrines. The Champion’s Ballad, which is only unlockable after you’ve beaten the four Divine Beasts, actually starts off weirdly in that it makes you go back to the game’s starting area and clear out several enemy camps with a new weapon called the “One-Hit Obliterator,” which lets you KO baddies in a single strike but also decreases your health down to a fourth of a heart. New, more deviously difficult Shrines pop up after you clear out the camps, and once you’re finished with all of them, the Obliterator disappears...making it a strange, temporary tool that seems solely designed to create an arbitrary difficulty ceiling.

Once you’re done with the One-Hit Obliterator section, you’re sent to four corners of the map. At each location you need to complete three more tasks AND more shrines before tackling a boss and unlocking a never-before-seen memory of each Champion. (Finally, story stuff!) Unfortunately, here’s where I started to get weary, because the challenges to unlock said memories are mainly rehashed tasks from the main game (like sand seal surfing), the Shrines are all sorta annoying and the bosses are the same versions of Ganon that you fought in the past, only slightly harder and now in some nebulous “illusory” realm that looks like it was run through an Instagram filter. (It was at this point when I realized that this DLC felt more like a remix album than anything else.)

At the very end, there is one new Divine Beast to conquer, followed by an all-original boss battle that’s arguably one of the best parts of the DLC. If you’re successful, Link wins himself a spiffy new motorcycle that makes travelling around Hyrule a breeze...except it’s also kind of useless because by the time players unlock it, there’s just not that much left to DO, unless you’re still trying to collect all of the Korok Seeds or complete the game’s original 120 Shrines.

Don’t get me wrong, the bike certainly is a fun toy to play with and has resulted in some amusing videos on YouTube. And the new memories, though they amount to little more than 15 minutes in total, are very good. (There’s one scene in particular of Link, Zelda and all the other Champions that’s practically tear-inducing.) But the questline that you need to endure to get the bike and these teeny nuggets of plot just didn’t feel worth it, IMO. It seemed like it was designed to appeal to a certain type of player - the ones who are 100% completionists and loved the complexity of Breath of the Wild’s Shrines.

If you’re one of those persons, then I think you’ll enjoy this DLC. Sadly, I’m not a member of that group, and I’ve mentioned in the past that dungeons have never been the main reason why I’ve been attracted to Zelda games. For me, I play Zelda to be swept away by a sense of adventure, and the experience of climbing mountains, racing across Hyrule Field and learning more about a post-apocalyptic world was what made Breath of the Wild one of my favorite games of 2017, not its 120 Shrines. If you’re in the same camp as me and haven’t already bought the game’s $20 season pass, I recommend just watching the new cutscenes and boss fight on YouTube and calling it a day.

Speaking of that $20 season pass (which is the only way to purchase the game’s DLC), do I consider it a waste of money in hindsight? Well, not entirely. I did enjoy parts of the Master Trials in DLC pack 1, possibly because that stuff came out shortly after the game’s release and was never advertised as a “new original story.” Would I have enjoyed The Champion’s Ballad more if it had been released earlier and if the marketing language hadn’t shot my expectations skyward? Yeah, probably. As it stands, I still maintain that Breath of the Wild is a fine game, but when it comes to the post-launch content, I need to point out that we live in a world where Horizon: Zero Dawn - The Frozen Wilds, Bloodborne: The Old Hunters and both Witcher 3 expansions (the gold standard of recent downloadable content, in my eyes) all exist. DLC doesn’t have to be arbitrary stuff that should have been included in the base game, which kinda feels like the case here. Nintendo can, and should, consider doing a little better next time.

I made the Breath of the Wild/Akira comparison pic myself! Though a quick peek at Twitter shows that I wasn’t the only one with that bright idea...

#pixel grotto #now playing #video games #zelda #the legend of zelda #breath of the wild #champion's ballad #akira

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recentanimenews · 4 years

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How One Piece Became An Anime About Love (But Not Romance)

If a group of characters get together in a fictional setting, we inevitably start wondering which ones will make out. We can't help it. After years of seeing them in sitcoms and movies, concepts like the "Will They/Won't They" couple and the "Forbidden Relationship" are embedded in our pop-culture consciousness. Two good-looking people bicker in the sitcom's pilot episode? They'll kiss by the season finale. The quirky co-worker seems determined to get the solemn, nerdy employee to live a little bit? You can already hear the wedding bells.

This feeling extends to anime, too, and we've watched it happen a lot: Vegeta got with Bulma, Hinata got with Naruto, Ichigo got with Orihime. But there is a certain anime series that has shied away from grand displays of romance like this, despite being entirely about how we need to love one another. And if you've read the title of this article, you know what that series is: One Piece.

Now, One Piece is not entirely romance-less. Creator Eiichiro Oda has said that since One Piece is for young boys, there will be no relationships among the members of the Straw Hat Crew, so much of the "romance" that does show up is of the goofy, unrequited variety. Most notably this occurs with Sanji and, well, every woman that he meets on the Grand Line, because no matter what, Sanji gonna Sanji, apparently. The chef's declarations of love are frequent, but luckily, very few people have even slightly entertained him on the prospect of matrimony. And so Sanji is left where he should be, with his heart on his sleeve (and his eyes.)

But Oda has also said that the crew is "in love" with adventure, and while they definitely embrace the thrill and danger and fulfillment that comes with sailing around and discovering new places and dismantling Shichibukai dictatorships, they're also very much in love with each other. And that's one of the most important messages of One Piece as a whole—How one of the best loves you can have is a love for your friends.

Throughout One Piece, the Straw Hats have constantly shown their affection for each other, whether it's through literal embraces (If Luffy hasn't seen you in a while, he can and will throw his whole body at you) or openness (The Straw Hats freely cry around each other all the time, as their captain has made it clear through phrases like "Say you want to live!" and "Say what you really want!" that, above all things, he values emotional honesty).

They're also willing to stand up for each other in the face of seemingly insurmountable obstacles, pushing past their weaknesses because they know they're needed and valued. Heck, Usopp's entire character arc thus far is based around his acknowledgment that his crew loves him unconditionally, thus making him braver at times than he ever thought he could be. Robin's arc is built around her once thinking that no one would ever accept her or even want her on this earth, and now she knows, absolutely, that the Straw Hats will never let her down.

Many of them have announced that Luffy WILL be King of the Pirates, and what is that if not love? It's certainly devotion against all odds. And that's why I'm uncomfortable with anyone that tries to make a huge stink about how their love for their friends is different from their romantic love. Like, duh, of course, it is. I don't need the reason why I'm not buying roses for my boy Jon (Though if you want roses, bro, I got you) but I am buying them for my wife explained to me. But it's also the kind of thing that keeps dudes from hugging and instead places them in this weird handshake purgatory. It's the kind of thing that makes people unsure of what they can share with others. It traps people in this mindset that if they can't talk about something with their romantic partner, then they just can't talk about it at all.

We often use the phrase "It takes a village" when referring to child-rearing because it can be tough and it's great for a kid to have so much help and positive influence. But it's also applicable to the emotional upkeep of an adult person, and you could use the phrase "It takes a crew" and apply it to One Piece. Because none of the members of the Straw Hats would have the amount of inner strength that they do without the love of the others. And I know that the love and support of my own friends has been incredible for me, and I can only hope to return it to them.

In short, while One Piece may not have a lot of what we typically consider "romance" in fiction, it is truly a tale about love. And I hope that, by reading it, you become more open to sharing yours. Presumably by getting all of your friends to read and watch One Piece. Nothing says "I adore you" like some dope anime.

What is your favorite declaration in One Piece? What is the most important message that you've taken from this silly, awesome pirate manga? Let me know in the comments!

------------------

Daniel Dockery is a Senior Staff Writer for Crunchyroll. Follow him on Twitter!

Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

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forkanna · 6 years

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WARNING: Sailor Moon and related characters ©Naoko Takeuchi. Story/plot © me! Mostly based on the first season of the original anime (esp. Rei's personality), also the manga/Crystal. Rated T for some light sensuality and language.

This is a series of five fluffy oneshots, plus a bonus sixth chap. Enjoy! See below for more notes.

Act 1. Ami: Solve For Why?

Poor Usagi Tsukino had been studying for hours. All her life, school had been something of a challenge; grade one was the last time she could remember being as effortlessly adept as her classmates. Year after year, her best friend Naru had very little trouble with their classload, and she struggled with even the simplest concepts. Nevermind how her genius-level classmate Umino did, but he was clearly a special case. She had no hope of ever getting the material to take root in her head at this point. As much as she really wanted to be better, it just wasn't sinking in no matter how long she stared at the pages. So she defaulted to one of her usual depressurizing exercises.

"Usagi…" Ami Mizuno's voice was less than enthused, but still managed to sound patient even while it also sounded exasperated with her short attention span. "While I appreciate the balance and dexterity it takes to hold that pencil on your upper lip…"

"Thank you," Usagi replied through her teeth as she stared at the ceiling, twitching the lips back and forth to keep said pencil from falling off. "It's a real talent!"

"But we really should get back to studying. The test is in four days!"

Whining, she finally sat up, catching the pencil. "Come on, Ami! I can't do this! Face it, my brain is a bowl of oatmeal and nothing's gonna stick in there except a spoon!"

"Oh, Usagi…" But she wasn't disappointed or angry, the way her mother would have been. The crease in her noble brow and the clarity of her blue eyes told a different story: one of concern. "You really need to pass this. Your grades are so low! I just… I don't want to move on to ninth grade, and look back at you still being in eighth. That would be truly unfortunate."

"I knowwwwww…" Slumping downward, she looked at the pages. "Just feel dumb all the time."

"You aren't 'dumb'. Which is an inaccurate word, because it means you are incapable of speech; we both know you're highly accomplished at talking." That did make Usagi snort, and Ami leaned down catch her gaze before she smiled at her. "You're actually a very bright girl, Usagi. I just think you need… well, I don't know. Confidence, maybe? Or focus. Maybe you could try ginkgo!"

Her head tilted slightly to one side. "Does that really work? I mean, I'd try anything if it made me smarter."

"Well, that isn't exactly how it works. But some scientists do claim it enhances one's powers of retention."

"Ohhh." Not that she understood the difference; it still sounded like 'smarter' to her. Her mouth twitched upward. "Ami, why are you so nice to me when I'm such a dope?"

As she turned a page backward in their textbook, she said easily, "You're the leader of our team. I have to be nice to you." But the slight smirk when she glanced up again betrayed that she wasn't serious, and Usagi relaxed. "Now then, back to problem four…"

"What team?"

It was a shock to hear another voice in the room. Ami and Usagi both blinked a few times before turning to where Naru Osaka was sitting with her pencil dangling out of her mouth. They both gaped, having forgotten she was there because she was just quietly reading through the material.

"Pardon me?" Ami asked.

"I asked, what team? You said something about a team. I didn't think you played any sports."

"O-oh!" Usagi burst out.

"Oh, what?"

"Well…" Instead of either trying to figure out how to explain the situation to their friend, or telling her the sad news that she'd been forgotten in lieu of their somewhat more intimate conversation, Usagi just laughed. "The team of Usami! You know, Usagi and Ami? Since we… well, we've both got… oh, we were just kidding! D-don't worry about it!"

Naru raised an eyebrow at the way both of them were fidgeting, but then shook her head and turned back to her book. "Sometimes, Usagi, I really think you're losin' it."

~ o ~

Not that she was kidding. Usagi really was the leader of their team. Every so often, having a secret identity was something that she forgot about. Understandable, since it had only been a part of her life for a few months.

She needed a moment to take stock of her positioning. Left boot forward, gloved fists upon her hips. Shoulders thrown back and chest forward, back straight. Long blonde pigtails trailing out behind her on the slight breeze — she loved it when the breeze could ruffle her skirt and her hair, it made her feel so much more heroic. Satisfied, she cleared her throat very quietly, then shouted down into the night.

"Stop right there, Nega-trash!"

The abomination with mottled fur snapped its face up to look at her from where it stood, crouched over a hapless citizen. Lips pulled back from fangs into a snarl as it readied to drain the metaphysical energy from her body. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Ami getting into a similar pose, so she decided not to wait any longer.

"I am Sailor Moon! Champion of justice! On behalf of the moon…" Leaping off the ledge, she executed a quick flip in midair that seemed so effortless to her now. Even if she wasn't always the best heroine, the moves came a lot easier to her now that Luna had unlocked her potential; it was only too bad that she couldn't translate that poise and confidence into her civilian life.

"I will right wrongs, and triumph over evil. And that means you!"

That had gone according to plan. Once she had delivered her line, Ami stepped out and said hers: "And I am Sailor Mercury! You're through here, you rapscallion!"

Rapscallion? Maybe they should go over their superhero banter after this battle. But either way, it was time to go to work.

That particular enemy didn't put up much of a fight. Today, their defeat came easily, and Usagi was left with the odd feeling of having extra time on their hands and that she and Ami had cheated somehow. On other days, they would wind up running for the hills, or flung around by their hair, or tied up, or flattened… the possibilities were endless, and Usagi's least favourite part of being a Senshi. The victories usually made up for that. Fortunately, their powers kept them from sustaining any lasting injuries most of the time, but now and then there would be a little residual bruising that carried over into their 'daily lives'. Rough stuff. She was glad not to have to deal with that this time.

"Whew!" Ami panted once Jadeite had vanished, done with his grandstanding for the night. They were leaning back against a pillar in a square near Akihabara, both eternally grateful the fight was over. "I… I need to sit!"

"Here…" Usagi put an arm around her as they walked over to the steps of a building and took a seat. Today, Mercury definitely had to do the most flipping around between the two of them, so she didn't mind supporting her. Once sat down, she sighed and patted her shoulder.

"Thanks," Ami panted as she wiped her forehead clear of sweat on the back of her glove.

"No problem. We Sailor Senshi have to stick together!"

They simply stared up at the sky for a few minutes and caught their breath before Ami asked, "Usagi?"

"Hm?"

"Well, I was just thinking… do you ever think we'll be able to stop the Dark Kingdom for good? It's awfully taxing, just the two of us standing against the forces of villainy."

Nodding, she leaned back to look at the stars as she pondered. How many were there above them? A hundred, a thousand? She didn't know anything about astronomy, and didn't want to ask Ami for fear she would actually answer. A brainy girl like her was too smart to bother trying to educate a dimwit like herself. Maybe that was part of why she felt herself wanting to give up so quickly when they studied together.

"We'll be fine. We're pretty strong, right?"

"Yes, but it would certainly be nice to have more teammates. Didn't Luna promise us that she would find the other Senshi eventually?" Ami's frown was more concerned than anything. "I don't want us to be defeated. It would leave Tokyo defenseless."

"Wow," Usagi sighed, hanging her head. "You're a way better leader than me. All I was thinking was that I don't wanna die."

That made the frown deeper, and she turned to look at her, laying a hand on her forearm. "You mustn't think that way, Sailor Moon. All we can do is our best to fight the enemy; if that isn't enough, then we have given our lives in service of others. Isn't that the most noble way to meet our fate?"

"Way to get all deep on me." Ami did smile a little with humour, though the topic was too dark for either of them to truly laugh. "But… yeah, you're right. It's just hard; we're kids, Ami. I want to fall in love, get married, get a job. Maybe see Paris. All that stuff before…"

"Oh, I do understand; so do I. And we'll do those things if we have time. And if we don't, then this is the most important use of that time."

She couldn't answer right away. Ami was right. She felt selfish for wanting to argue against her, especially when she didn't have a decent argument. "Yeah, true."

"Okay. Let's go home and finish studying for-"

Throwing up both hands as she stood from the steps and began to walk away, Usagi exclaimed, "GOD, Ami, not tonight! I need sleep or I really will kick the bucket way too early!"

"Sailor Mercury is right!"

They both looked over their shoulder to see a violet-furred cat perched atop a nearby wall, eyes gleaming in the relative darkness. Usagi groaned. "Should have known you'd side with her, Luna. But I'm so sleepy!"

"There can be no rest when you're handling both Senshi duties and your future on Earth!" Luna's paws made a soft tmp as she landed next to them. "It is quite late, but you can at least go over your books for a few minutes before bedtime! Now let's get a move on!"

She din't miss the way Ami snickered very softly into her hand as they went on their way. Privately, she wanted to trip the both of them for being so mean, but she was way too tired to even try. Maybe she could go crash at Naru's place…

~ o ~

The night before the test had arrived. Every evening before, as long as they weren't called upon to defeat the forces of the Dark Kingdom, she and Ami had been up cracking the books — or that is, Ami was cracking the books. Usagi was bouncing between reading random manga, fidgeting, snacking, pacing the room, and idly wondering what was on television. Naru had enough of trying to get the information through Usagi's thick skull and had given up to study on her own. Ami got impatient with her a few times, as well, and though Ami's "shouting" never really involved raising her voice or using unkind language of any sort, the night before had resulted in a teary breakdown that left the slightly-taller Senshi patting her leader and offering her a handkerchief.

Now was crunch time. Usagi was starting to get the most simple concepts, but it was as if her brain were stretched to its absolute limits instead of just gearing up for the tough stuff.

"You can do this!" Ami encouraged her. "Where does Y go?"

"Y bother?" she tried to joke with a hopeful smile. Ami's face didn't change from its stern-but-patient expression. That was starting to drive her crazy; she almost wanted her to snap at her again. "Okay… um, here?"

"No."

"Here?"

"Sorry, no." After a pause, she sighed. "Alright. We can take a break. If you don't need it, then I certainly do."

Letting out a long, slow sigh, she whined, "Ami, you should give up on me and go home. I'm a total reject! Like, I'm really trying and I just can't make myself care about a bunch of stupid numbers!"

"Think of it another way. This isn't about what you want to be doing and what you don't. It's a necessity. Like taking a bath, or doing your chores. They may not be the most fun of activities, but they're important for your life, aren't they?"

"Hate chores, too," Usagi muttered, lips pouting.

"Alright, alright." Thinking another moment, she held up a finger. "Imagine you're buying the latest Sailor V video game. You really want that game and have been dreaming about it since you read about it in Nakayoshi. But in order to get it, you have to save up your allowance for a few weeks. It's not easy because you like to eat sweets at Fruits Parlour, or buy hamburgers or other fun things."

She had to work hard not to grumble "Are you calling me fat?", but instead kept listening to Ami.

"But if you do the hard work, force yourself to save your yen and avoid the temporary pleasure, you can eventually get the reward. Your game."

"Yeah, I mean, I get what you're saying. But what's the reward here? Just passing a class? It doesn't matter. I'm not really good at anything; I'm not even that good at being a Senshi, I'm just the only one with the tiara. So even if I finish high school, what's next? University? I'm not getting into any of those with my grades! And if I did, what would I study? No idea, I can tell you right now." Sighing, she slumped down against the table. "Mom's right. Everybody's right; I'm just… useless, lazy, and pointless. So maybe I can do that thing you said and sacrifice myself for the planet. If I suck at life, at least I can do something with my death."

The room was quiet for a few seconds. Usagi finally spared a glance over at Ami, expecting her to sternly tell her to get back to work, because her whining wasn't helping. Which was very true. But instead…

She was crying? Why crying?! That was the weirdest reaction she could have! "Ami? What's wrong?"

"Oh! Oh, I'm sorry, Usagi…" Her hand swiped at her eyes. "I just hadn't realised… how little you think of yourself. And it really isn't fair."

"What do you mean? I don't…" After an awkward second, she got up and moved to her dresser to retrieve a packet of promotional tissues from some new store in the neighbourhood, popping it open and offering one to her friend. She took it, blotted the rest of her tears away, then smiled up at her. It was so watery and laced with emotion that Usagi could only glance at it out of the corner of her eye.

"You're an absolutely wonderful person, Usagi Tsukino. So what if you aren't as w-well-read, or adept at arithmetic as some? That isn't a measure of your character. You're very smart in your own way."

"No way," she laughed softly, even though she did feel a slight warmth in her chest from the mild praise.

"Yes, way! Goodness, you have an innate sense of how to strike the Enemy that I can only hope to cope with through my strategising — and I can only do that thanks to years of chess matches. You've never played chess in your life, I'm fairly certain, and yet I never outshine you on the battlefield. Something's working in that brain of yours, even if you don't want to see it. And that's not even getting into… how kind and generous you are, how thoughtful. I've never had a friend so loyal as you in all my life, and if you think that's 'pointless', well then… you can just think again!"

By the end of that, Ami had hopped to her feet and begun shouting. Usagi felt an odd mixture of reactions, both chagrin from being scolded and her heart pounding from how sweet her tutor-and-comrade was being. Over nothing! Her own eyes were plenty wet by now, and Ami had stopped blotting the tracks from her cheeks.

So Usagi stood and took the tissue from her fist with a couple of tugs. Then she began drying the moisture away with gentle pats while Ami shivered.

"It's okay. Wow, I'm so dumb, I didn't think… I didn't mean to make you cry just because I'm such a whiner! Can you… can you forgive me?"

Her sob turned into a chuckle toward the end. "See there? I'm crying over n-nothing, and shouting at you, and y-you're apologising for nothing. You're so sweet…"

When Ami embraced her, she was caught completely unawares, and could only catch her and pull her in close, fingertips gouging into the back of her shirt, raking through her short bobbed hair. Somehow, even though she had known her less time than her previous best friend, Naru, this brainiac had become equally important. Crucial, even.

"Ami, thank you so much! I'm sorry for b-being so… w-waaahhhh!"

Of course Ami's first reaction to her bawling was to laugh. As often as Usagi broke down in a puddle of childish sadness, no one was ever surprised. But this time, no one was chiding her, or asking her to tone it down. There were only soft lips pushing into her forehead, gentle hands caressing the sides of her face.

"Shhh, shh. I didn't mean to shout; that was unbecoming, and probably didn't make you feel like you had any more self worth. You simply mean a lot to me, Usagi. More than you might expect."

"Why? I don't really understand… I m-mean, I know what you said, but I don't really see how being nice makes me different from anybody else."

"Because you don't have to be nice. You're a Senshi; you could use your powers for evil, and yet you do not. You use them to fight the true evil in this world. And that… is as noble as the policemen and armed forces. They get medals for their service; we don't even get to tell anyone we're doing it. More than that, you were already doing this before we met, and all on your own! So… I think you're very brave. Nobody could tell me otherwise."

"Brave? That's…" Swallowing hard, she looked up into Ami's eyes. "But you're much braver than I am! I've never heard you complain about going out on patrol, or having to fight Nega-dweebs!"

"I'm not brave. If I were… I'd…" Her words cut off.

"You'd what?"

"It's nothing." But when Usagi's gaze didn't waver, Ami looked down toward the floor between their bodies, at Usagi's fuzzy bunny slippers and the carpet beneath them. "You know… those things you've felt about Tuxedo Mask?"

"Tuxedo Mask? I mean… um, sure, but what things?"

"How brave and fearless he is. Beautiful to you, both because you like how he looks in a suit, and because of his heroism. It's not just one or the other, right?"

Usagi nodded without needing to think about it much. "Yeah, exactly. It's like, that Mamoru guy who keeps hanging around is cute, too, but he's a real jerk. I'd much rather have a chance with Tuxedo Mask, since he's the total package instead of… well, half a package."

That got Ami to giggle a little, at least, and Usagi chanced a tiny smile. "I've felt that way, too. I really have. Just… I'm not brave or I would have been able to say it. That's all I meant."

"Well…" The idea that they both were interested in the same man did throw Usagi for a loop. Jealousy was beginning to tingle behind her temples. However, Ami was her friend, and their friendship was very important. Much bigger than petty jealousies or worries about some guy she'd never said more than five words to. It was hard for her to do, but she forced herself to say, "Then if you feel that way, you should tell him how you feel. Like… I've tried with Tuxedo, but I keep getting tripped up on my words, and we're in the middle of a fight… but you shouldn't hold back! I might talk faster and more than you, but your words always come out a lot smarter! S-so… so I wish you the best of luck!"

This silence was longer, heavier. Ami crossed to Usagi's window, wiping her tear tracks away. Usagi followed, but didn't quite touch her; merely stood within arm's reach, to one side and watching.

"What if… he… isn't a 'he' at all?"

"Huh?"

"I'm not brave. I merely do what my higher cognitive functions tell me to; self-preservation. Because admitting my feelings to myself means I ought to admit them to the other party, and I can't tell her or else I'll… risk everything. And that isn't anything like courage, it's just… protecting myself."

Somewhere in there, while doing her best to keep up with it all, she did catch that one word Ami might not even have meant to say: "her."

"Wait, are you… Ami…" The way her friend's entire frame tensed up and she gripped the window ledge sent a panic through her, so she hurried to squeak, "Sorry!"

"What are you sorry for this time?"

"No, I…" Clearing her throat, she tried again, "Do you have a crush on a girl?" No answer. Fidgeting, she whispered, "Do you… have a crush on… a girl I know?"

"Decidedly yes."

"Is it Naru?" Her head shook from side to side. By now, Usagi was beginning to feel lightheaded, but she persevered. "That only leaves me. But I mean, if you liked me you would have… said…"

Finally, Ami turned around with her eyes wet. "You already act like you're disappointed, s-so I'll get my things. This really wasn't how I meant to tell you! But now the cat is out of the bag. I apologise, Usagi."

The blindsided blonde watched her collecting her books for a few seconds. Everything felt like it was happening so fast, but seeing that made her drop to her knees and grasp both of Ami's arms.

"Don't go. Okay? Don't… I'm just… really wigging out right now, but I promise it's not- I don't think you did anything wrong."

"Never said I did anything wrong. Just… it isn't right for us, either. We're both Senshi, and it's such a bad idea-"

"Hey, whoa, whoa, that's not…" Realising she wasn't even sure what she had been about to say moments before, Usagi tutted and leaned in closer to Ami. "I mean, I've never thought about… girls… in that way before, but like, not everybody's the same. I've heard of this! I think… yuri? S-so if we have a word for it, that means it has to happen once in awhile, and if you're one of those people, then that's… that's great! I mean, good for you!"

At the last line, one of Ami's eyebrows twitched up and she had to suppress a smile. "Oh? You're congratulating me on being attracted to women? That's probably a first."

"Well hey, I mean, I just learned something new about my friend! Getting to know a friend is a positive thing, right?" Both of their cheeks were a little rosy now. "I just never… well, of course I like girls, but I don't know about like-liking them, it's… but I did think you were really pretty when I first saw you…"

"You did?" That seemed to shock Ami out of her self-loathing. "Oh no, why would you? I'm so plain…"

"Nuh-uh! You're mega cute!" Ami's blush only got worse, and Usagi realised she was basically hitting on a newly-out lesbian, so she dipped her head slightly. "U-um, if that's okay for me to say. But I… I don't know what to do with this information exactly, but you can bet I'm not mad, or uh… sad? I don't know."

Both of her shoulders rose and fell. "To be honest, I never gave much thought to dating either gender until recently. Even with these feelings, it's still less strange for me to think about women than men, but the whole idea of dating anyone seems… unattainable for me. Since my interests are so nerdy and uncommon."

"Well, I think your interests are cool. Just way over my head." She stuck her tongue out, and Ami giggled again. Then she leaned a little closer. "Do you, um, maybe want a hug? And like, to sit back down? Because you look like you might faint."

"Yes," she admitted with a weary nod, accepting the embrace. Usagi didn't hold back; maybe she was a teeny bit less comfortable hugging her, because now she knew what it could mean to Ami, but at the same time she also knew in her own 'higher cognitive functions' that nothing had really changed. She and her partner-in-crime-fighting were still friends, and could still study together. It just might mean a little more to Ami than it did before.

Once seated by the table again, Usagi didn't take her arm away from around her. And Ami laid her head on Usagi's shoulder, humming contentedly as they arranged the books to look through them again. Much to her own surprise, she didn't mind this. Ami fit together with her as snugly as Y fit into the equation.

Y fit into…

"OH! I got it — that's the inverse! Right, Ami?"

"Very good!" Ami laughed, and Usagi clapped her hands in triumph, then pumped both fists in the air which only made her laugh harder. "See? All you needed to do was stop overthinking it so much. Not that I intended for my sexuality to be the necessary distraction…"

Sticking out her tongue, she said, "It works as a pretty good one, I guess. This time. But hey, at least I'm finally getting somewhere! Go, me!"

"You are. And to the victor go the spoils!"

When she kissed Usagi's cheek, it nearly sent her scrambling away, but she managed to fight down her reaction to a mighty blush and a dopey laugh that made Ami grin even wider. "Th-those are definitely spoils! I feel spoiled!" She still wasn't sure about returning the affections; she definitely bore her friend no ill will for having them, but knowing whether or not she felt the same was another story entirely! After a second or two, she reached up to cup her cheek; that seemed safer. "Um… I'm not really sure what you want from me…"

"Oh, this is fine," Ami reassured her. She sounded so confident; it was impressive, given how vulnerable she had seemed when confessing. "Please don't think I'm requiring anything further. My feelings aren't your feelings, and assuming otherwise would be silly."

"But… I do think you're really…" What else could she say? At a loss, she kissed the top of Ami's head, and heard her cooing, which immediately made her giggle stupidly. "This is so weird, but it's also… nice? Does that make sense, or am I nutso?"

"Don't feel weird. I love it. Even if it's only temporary… it's very sweet of you to indulge me."

"Um… do you wanna try some other stuff? Like, I know I sound like I'm about to implode, but you're my friend, and like… I don't know, if this is just a 'Class S' phase thing…?"

"It isn't in my case," Ami assured her, though she didn't look offended that Usagi had brought it up. "I'm very comfortable in knowing that I find both men and women attractive. Some girls go through a phase like that of liking other girls before they become women, I suppose, but I'm at least reasonably certain my phase is permanent."

One hand behind her head, she laughed, "Hey, that's cool! You know yourself better than anybody else does!"

"Yes," she laughed lightly. "As for 'trying stuff'... I'm also not sure I'm terribly interested in those activities. Which made it difficult to be sure I like girls, to be fair, since I'm undecided on whether or not I want to have sex with either gender."

"SEX!" Usagi burst out. "I meant like, maybe kissing or holding hands or something!" They both giggled, more from relief on Usagi's part.

"Well… if you did want to kiss me, I wouldn't be opposed. In fact, I'd love that very much, but I wouldn't dare ask it of you if you aren't interested in trying."

Both of Usagi's shoulders rose and fell. "Why not? Even if I don't end up liking kissing girls, at least I'll get some practice before I kiss a boy."

"Mm. Then go on; practice away."

At first, Usagi wasn't sure what she meant. Go on? And do what? But when she got the sense that Ami was waiting for her to move, her slow brain fully realised — she was supposed to kiss Ami. Not the other way around. Was she really alright with that? Though it would be a bit wishy-washy to back down after she had made a point of telling her that she would try things out with her if she so desired. Which apparently, she did.

"Oh," Usagi breathed when she was cupping Ami's cheek. "This feels… I dunno."

"Bad?"

"No way! I just didn't think I'd ever be… on this end." By which she meant, Ami was reclining just enough so that Usagi was positioned above her, looking down into her patient, canny eyes. How was she supposed to play the more 'masculine' role when she had no experience with that?! Ami's little bow mouth was parted very slightly, waiting, willing. She leaned down…

It was far better than she had any right to expect. Really, she had expected for it to feel weird, like kissing her brother or something similar, but Ami's mouth was so sweet and vulnerable, completely at her mercy, that connecting it with her own was just… easy. Even without knowing what she was doing! When she began to move her mouth a little, she heard a hum of approval that got her trying more, kneading her lips back and forth, breathing softly along her cheek as their heads tilted in opposite directions. Hands came to rest on her chest, and she slipped her own around Ami's waist, feeling that was somehow the best thing for her to do.

And she didn't hate it.

"Nhh!" she burst out when she felt a tongue prod her bottom lip, drawing away. "Whoa, what was that?"

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Ami piped up, blinking a few times and covering her mouth. "Was that too forward? My reading told me that was the next progression…"

"You've read about this?!" Then she shook her head and pushed her hands into her cheeks. "Wait, of course you have. You study up on everything. But wow… okay, that was… really interesting, and like, better than I thought…"

Those soft, properly-warmed lips pushed into her cheek again, and Usagi sighed. "What did you think it would be like?" Usagi didn't want to answer. Eventually, when no answer came, she nuzzled her jaw and whispered, "I enjoyed myself. And if you did, we could try it again sometime, but not tonight, I should think. You'll want time to adjust."

"Uh-huh…." Another cheek-peck. "Wow, Mizuno-chan, you're such a temptress."

"I am?!"

"Well… okay, maybe not. But you are super confident, and didn't seem scared at all, which helped somehow. Like, I wish I had that going for me!" This time, she was the one to lean over and kiss Ami's forehead, which earned her a closed-eyed coo that made Usagi's stomach do flips. "Oh my GOD, you're so cute!"

Again, she squawked, "I'm cute, too?! Goodness!" While Usagi was laughing, she cleared her throat. "We really should get back to studying… but… I also wouldn't mind incentivising our study habits with a new reward system."

"Yeah? You mean… if I get one right, I get a kiss?" When she felt Ami nod under her chin, where her head was nestled, she whispered, "And I didn't even think I would want that like, five minutes ago. Now I'm not sure! But… j-just for tonight… what if we just assume that I like it and I'll figure out if I was confused tomorrow?"

"Mmmhmmm," Ami hummed with clear and pronounced pleasure. "I find this to be an acceptable proposal, Usagi. Let's begin."

Which is how Ami somehow got Usagi to her first math score that was above a 70. Their "reward system" was going to lead to a period of adjustment, and they'd have to do continual assessments of the situation as they went along. But not everything could be solved with the scientific method. Sometimes, it was pure chemistry.

THE END

[Next: Rei!]

MORE NOTES: Basically, blame Yamino for pointing out to me several times over the years that Usagi can basically be shipped with anybody. She's such a hapless lesbian (Usagi, not Yamino, who is a very cunning lesbian). So my idea for this, rather than trying to balance a 5tp fic that would end up being WAY too long and cut into my other writing projects, was to do a series of one-shots depicting what I imagine Bun-head falling for each of her close friends would be like. Feel free to only read the one(s) that interest you!

First, a couple of notes:

1. Each oneshot is its own separate "verse". This isn't Usagi burning through each Senshi in turn, they are "what if?"s independent of each other. So if you're wondering why one character doesn't have strong feelings of jealousy about her hooking up with another in the next "chapter", that's why. (Also you're more than welcome to pick the one you like best and accept that one as canon, rejecting all others haha)

2. Don't forget that this is taking place in the early 90s, so a lot of the technology and references won't be modern. Also that I'm going to try to keep Japanese terminology to a minimum but also I'll try to italicise it so you at least can more easily spot the words you need to look up (if you don't know them). I left everyone's names in American order (IE: Usagi Tsukino would be Tsukino Usagi in Japan). Even though I was a big fan of the DiC dub when I was small and I'll drop quotes from it, no, Sailor Moon isn't set in America and they don't go to Crossroads Junior High.

Anyway, I hope you like it (or at least one of them)! I tried to balance the five ficlets to be of similar length and definitely gave them each equal consideration; none of them were "rushed", trust me.

Tsuki ni kawatte, oshiokiyo!

Jessex

#through the moon prism #sailor moon fanfiction #forkanna writes #sailor moon #yuri #forkanna the writer

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