#gender envy real except its me wanting their gender

[kustas]

Please feel free to ignore this if you don’t want to go into it hahaha, but as an FMA agnostic I saw that comment and had to ask: what’s your take on the series?? Have a great day!

I read it twice, once when I was in middle school, and then rather recently! My take is that while I understand why it is popular it's an overrated series that suffers from serious issues.

As a kid? I loved it. I've always been into science and fantasy worldbuilding and old timey stories with fights, so it was my shit. I had just discovered manga and was obsessed and even tried to copy the art style. I was especially fond of the parts about the ishbalan civilization as well as the chimeras, probably early signs of my still ongoing interests in ancient west asian archeology and uncanny valley furries. It's a story that importantly, while having a target audience of teenagers and catering to that, doesn't take its audience for idiots and offers, compared to other stories, more emotional punch due to that, with topics of life and death, and a story with a lot of traumatized characters.

Rewatching it as an adult, I'm just...not into magic anime battles anymore. I also am not keen on the art style nowadays, I get the charm but the chibi stuff is unbearable to me and a lot of characters are too samey for my liking, especially women. My one good surprise was learning about the gender neutrality of Envy as a character, a design I always liked as a child - but when I originally read the series I had known nothing of it because the character had been translated to male.

The huge elephant in the room however, is how it deals with its sensitive topics. A lot of what I will say are criticism you could forward to many popular series, yes, I know, but FMA is constantly hailed in "progressive" fandom spheres for diversity which upon reread shocked me. Politically, FMA talks about topics with serious IRL ties and does not have a stance I like on them. Most of the plot revolves around a cast of military who went to war before the story and exterminated a people there, who are fantasy-styled west asian and make up the majority of brown characters you see in the series. While the manga isn't afraid to say genocide bad or show the consequences it also makes you sympathize for the soldiers who carried it out because...they feel bad? Which is just not something I can agree with. In the modern times of the series it leads to uncomfortable discussions of fantasyworld racism that aren't my place to talk about. When the plot ends, it's a good ending for those soldiers, the only change is that you learn some anime evil was behind it all, and the "bad evil man for killing the actors in genocide of his people" gets redeemed quick but not in a way I agree with either. There's also the theme of disability which the series does touch on in a way that I cannot say much negative about, but on the other hand (no pun intended) do not feel is worth hailing as much as I have seen by fans. Last thing I see people hail it for is female characters and while yes, the series is not plagued by the usual misogynistic (if not pedophile) type of fan service anime usually has, that bar is underground... The main characters remain all male with the exception of one girl who's not really there and ends up a love interest. There's some cool female side characters but they remain just that. It's scraps & I am happy to find better elsewhere.

TLDR: Tumblr regularly rightfully tears a new one to avatar the last Airbender for how it handled colonialism, genocide and portraying fantasy cultures heavily based on real world ones, so why has FMA constantly slipped through that net, with a fanbase who is incapable of handling criticism?

TLDR 2: Honenheim's character and backstory remain to this day my favorite thing about FMA can we take this guy to a better manga

#fma #ask #for real whenever you say anything negative about this show everyone shits themselves #it's not that good guys. #in fact to be political some of it is very bad

[dragonballevolution]

3 and 11 for the DB asks?

OUGHHH AN ASK. THANK YUO... oh god oh jesus i typed So Much i have so many fucking things to say. im putting this shit under a read more. forgive me for my long opinions

3. List your top five favorite characters in order of how much you like them.

oh god it is so difficult to say who are my top favorite Dragon Ball characters. like literally one of the things i think this series does best is have a lot of REALLY fun and interesting characters.... i will try but just know that this list fluctuates heavily based on who im thinking about at the exact present moment and if you asked me at a different time i would probably give you a nearly totally different list

5. Cell - hes simultaneously one of the funniest and one of the scariest DBZ villains. truly he can do it all. also whether i like it or not i get gender envy from his original fucked up bug form so he gets points for that

4. King Kai - hmmmmmmmmmm i am thinking about King Kai right now i want to put him on the list. i feel like he doesnt get put on many favorites list and that's making me sad. so right now he goes on the list

3. Supreme Kai of Time - ive rambled about my thoughts on her on here before. girlboss. i want her to be even more mentally ill. i dont know if shes Supposed to actually be as fucked up as i tend to read her as but she should be

2. Future Trunks - man what do i even say here its goddamn Future Trunks everybody loves him hes aewsome

Bardock - i am listening to Solid State Scouter right now which is definitely biasing me to put him at the top. im not sure i'd put him at the very top normally though, i have really complicated feelings on him though and like i think hes at his ultimate best in the Bardock: Father of Goku special and dont really vibe as much with anything making him more straightforwardly Cool And Heroic. i like him best when he's ultimately doomed

honorable mentions: Puar. hes very silly and i love him but i am very aware the version of him that exists in my head is Not how he is written in canon (...and in canon he has like, No personality)

Z Broly isnt even a Dragon Ball character to me anymore hes like some kind of creature. hes so fucking funny to me what the fuck happened for him to be written this way.

Bio-Broly is barely even a character but. Slime Man..............

-

11. Have you seen any of the films? If so, which one is your favorite?

i have seen nearly all of the z and super films except for Super Hero so far + Dragonball Evolution (obviously) though i havent seen any of the Dragon Ball/GT films and i haven't watched any of the weird obscure stuff like the bootleg live action movie or The Real 4D just yet.

DBS Broly is definitely imo unironically like. The Best out of everything ive seen, like its just fucking Good and i have no complaints about it that aren't petty personal taste fare.

HOWEVER. "yeah dbs broly is good" is like the most obvious take in the world so i think it would be more interesting to talk about the stuff i'd rank just below it in terms of attachment (in no particular order)

firstly i dont care what anyone says, Wrath of the Dragon was fucking good. it didn't feel like a Dragon Ball Z movie and also Goku had literally no place being the character to get the final blow in on Hirudegarn, but if you meet it where it's at it's a genuinely very enjoyable and INTERESTING movie. Tapion is such a neat character and after most of the 90s Z movies just feeling like mindless boss battles it is SUCH a breath of fresh air to get something that feels more character-driven

counting the TV Specials as movies here, its not like controversial to call History of Trunks a favorite lmao, its just plain good. AS FOR THE OTHER Z TV SPECIAL. i am fucking mentally ill about Bardock: Father of Goku. i did not care about Bardock (or really Saiyans much in general?) until i saw him get karmically tormented by psychic visions and die a futile death against his own boss. now im obsessed <3

the og Z Broly movie was honestly one of the most enjoyable of the 90s Z movies and i understand why it got so popular. however at the same time my perception of Z Broly has been warped so badly that everything to do with him is hilarious to me. ive watched too many Broly MADs (BTW Z Paragus is probably my favorite movie antagonist tbh. while im glad Super Paragus is still a sack of shit im a little sad he didnt get to have as much of an outright villainous role in DBS Broly. at least what actually happened to him was funny)

im stanning Bio-Broly because no one else will. honestly it genuinely wasnt that bad, i found it fun and honestly melting the Broly clone so he immediately stops looking liek broly is HILARIOUS to me. part of me considering it a favorite is just out of spite for people calling it the "worst" Z movie when fucking BROLY SECOND COMING came right before it.

AND. LASTLY. OBLIGATORY DRAGON BALL EVOLUTION. ITS NOT GOOD BUT. BUT. if you cant tell by my fucking url ive become weirdly attached to it. every single detail of that movie and the stuff surrounding it is FASCINATING to me. its like reached a point where i get genuinely excited when i see it acknowledged somewhere in a way thats not just "ugh remember this? lol" some sick part of me has even started to enjoy Geeko as a character just for how cringefail he is. btw the PSP game is unironically fun (its running on the Shin Budokai engine so of course it is but still). someone buy me the scary uncanny Enterbay DBE statues please

-

thank you again for the ask!!!!!!!!!

#ask meme #do... do i put ask meme responses in the ''mine'' tag? idk i'll figure that out later #welcome to Dragonballevolution Dot Tumblr Dot Com where i spend an hour and a half answering a single ask meme ask #fucking obsessed with talking so much <3

[addithevampire]

Egg Moments with Gray:

When I was in middle school I was the only girl on my school chess team, but I was rather prone to forgetting this (wonder why). We regularly traveled to meets and tournaments around the state and I have always been blessed with a stomach that churns about 40% of the time I’m in a moving vehicle, a trait I inherited from my dad. So one morning, we’re making the long bus ride to another school and my stomach does its thing and I end up throwing up in a bag. It only happens once but it’s not pleasant.

When we get to this school, our coach gives us the rules. Be polite, we’re representing our school, yada yada.

Oh, and also everyone has to have a partner to go to the bathroom because this school is ginormous.

“Except Gray.”

Me, internally: oh, right, because if I have to puke again it’s kinda time-sensitive to be getting a partner -

“Because she’s a girl. If any of you try to go to the bathroom with her, you’ll be in serious trouble.”

Me, internally: oh, huh, I guess I forgot everyone else is a guy and I’m not

WONDER WHY

I also had what I then believed to be a crush on a guy in sixth grade that I now know was just gender envy. Tbf we looked so much alike that we spent the entire first semester of that year being asked if we were related. And then we fake-dated for a year and I discovered that “dating” for an eleven-year-old is just like being friends only sometimes we’d hold hands and hang out at the park slightly more and without the rest of our friends and actually I didn’t like having this guy around all the time and I liked our friends but he was a convenient excuse to get out of awkward conversations about who I had a crush on so I just didn’t do anything about it and eventually he “broke up” with me. And then weirdly he tried to pressure me back into a real relationship by talking about how much he missed hugging me and shit but I didn’t pick up on it so I just went “huh this conversation is making me really uncomfortable for some reason I’m just gonna leave now byeeeee” and then I never talked to him again and yeah I’m pretty sure I just wanted his face to be my face.

And of course, who could forget the time I discovered what being trans was from a friend who was having an Egg Moment of her own.

I became friends with her because we sat next to each other in the gym seating chart and she would talk to anyone nearby and I would talk back and we similarly hated gym (wonder why) and had fun talking to one another. And one day she brought up plans for the future.

“Yeah, one day I’d like to transition. Not because I’m trans or anything, I just think it would be interesting. I just want to know what it would be like to be a woman. For curiosity, of course. All the way, of course.”

And I’d never even heard of transitioning before but I wasn’t about to admit that so I just nodded along and then went home and asked my grandmother what it meant, and she told me what it was but also that my friend probably shouldn’t do it if she wasn’t actually trans.

Spoiler alert: she super was.

And as a bonus the first thing my dad said to me when I came out was “oh thank god I was gonna customize a jacket for you and men’s clothing has actual pockets” and my dad is actually genderfluid so that’s nice.

#emeto tw #vomit mention #trans #transmasc #trans man #trans egg

[jackienautism]

If you were able to make your dream team in 3 houses and pluck and pick anyone from any house to make a new one , who would you choose ?

OHOHOo THANK YOU FOR SNEDING THIS IN IT MADE ME GET OUT OF MY CHAIR AND WALK AROUND FOR A BIT HEHE

to preface this though im by no means "good" at this game or anything dfgjkdfn i just go with the flow sometimes and choose whatever speaks to me yk... and im certainly not like. competitive or whatever. i mainly play games for enjoyment so please dont hurt me

was there any point in saying all that? no. since based on the ask it seems youre asking more abt creating an ultimate house full of faves rather than a list based on compatibility / playability during battles but. just wanted to make that clear

i also havent played the dlc yet so i dont know any of the ashen wolves ): once i play that this selection maaaay get updated

WITH THAT BEING SAID. SORT OF A BORING ANSWER BUT LIKE? IN TERMS OF DREAM TEAM IN BATTLES. ID DEF HAVE TO SAY ALL THE GIRLS... I THINK THATD JUST BE FUN.... its actually something i plan to do at some point after i finish up this run of azure moon :D

in terms of ultimate faves coming together in one house though? regardless of compatibility in battle? def dorothea marianne and mercedes... and edie. and lysithea. is there a cut off point? ok wait hold on. there's typically 8 per house right? ok. ok. fuck hold on.

DEF dorothea marianne and mercedes. edelgard i suppose as house leader even though claude comes VERY close. unless im able to put 2 house leaders in one? bc id love to do that. ok. so . them and then linhardt . fuck this is hard. uhmmmm.

UHM . OK. DOROTHEA MARIANNE MERCEDES EDELGARD CLAUDE LINHARDT LYSITHEA AND . PETRA ? IF IM UNABLE TO CHOOSE CLAUDE THEN ..... FERDIE ..... FINAL ANSWER

AFTERE PETRA WOULD BE INGRID THEN CASPAR THEN HUBERT I THINK

youa ctually dont understand how difficult that was for me. narrowing it down to only 8 characters? aaauugh im so indecisive. i only recently settled on my top fave from each house. only took me like . 2 years to do so. 3 actually

the other characterss i def still like (i pretty much enjoy all of them) but i dont have like HUGE attachments to them. like raphael and ignatz? i think they are very cool and neat but i wouldn't say theyre at the top of my list by any means, despite me like ..... suuuper respecting them

sylvain is an interesting character (as are pretty much all the blue lions) but i just dont reallt care abt theme ...... exception being mercedes and possibly ingrid. i see a character who puts their "niceness" on full display who also deserves to get angry and i get attached so of course mercedes grew on me. plus i think she's real sweet. not to say mercedes being nice is a facade but her being seen as the "mom friend" all the time must wear her down. like. when has there been a moment where she WASNT coddling someone / saying the nice thing / saying slash doing what the other person expects from her? NOT TO SAY SHES A PEOPLE PLEASER EITHER BUT JUST.... BC I KNOEW SHE WANTS TO SPEND THE REST OF HER LIFE HELPING OTHERS...... I JUST ENJOY CHARACTERS LIKE THAT LOL..... theyre easy to project onto. and i say ingrid bc her timeskip design..... gives me so much gender envy you have no idea. i already sort of talked abt the blue lions in another psot but. yeah! theyre all very interesting but for the most part i just couldn't care less

no one asked for this and YOU certainyl didnt ask for this but i wanna go through each house real quick.... i love the black eagles w/ all my heart. theyre def my fave house. im most emotionally attached to dorothea and linhardt i think though.... i just rly rly rly like edelgard. plsu i think all the hate surrounding her is dumb more than half the time. plus she was one of the characters i most had my eyes on back in 2020... when i firtt started playing.... the main reason why i GOT three houses was bc my friend told me i could marry her / marry a girl gkdfkgg so of COURSE shes gonna be held close to my heart..... but anyway. ferdie hubert and petra..... ferdinand and hubert grew on me after getting their A supports w/ byleth. its been a while since i watched the supports / thought abt them individually as characters but . i just remember feeling very ): (positive) after those moments. i rly enjoyed their character development... off the top of my head i love how hubert was like ... we can be the twin eagles flying alongside edelgard.... or some shit. and the whole like. if he had two lives he'd dedicate one to you..... I JUST LOVED THAT SO MUCH...... ferdie's an annoying noble sure but him post timeskip is just ..... idk man i just remember loving him during it soooo much. sucks my thoughts arent incredibly elaborate rn (will probably be so after playing crimson flower again) but. yeah. petra just. i instantly liked her and enjoyed her presence. plus shes a pretty solid unit. i wish i had more i could say but i dont really think about her in depth very often. i just think she's neat :) BERNIE. IA LMOST FORGOT ABT BERNIE. shes def the same as petra in this case but just ranked a bit lower. i dont think abt her much in depth but. yeah. i guess i dont rly think abt ferdie and hubie in depth either? i just think theyre neat. AND CASPAR.... I LOVE HIM TOO..... his A support w/ byleth made me ): but hes also not a character i think abt in depth very often... once again, i just think hes neat

now for the golden deer... marianne and claude and lysithea..... oh maaaan.... ESP MARIANNE....... HER ARC W/ HER DEPRESSION JUST.......... maaaaaan. i already knew i loved her but her A support w/ byleth made me love her so much more than before..... claude is just. him being mixed and him feeling demonized and out of place in both almyra and fodlan despite being BOTH almyran and fod.....lan just..... that's just the everyday feeling of being mixed white. his A support w/ marianne and the little story he shared with her to make her feel better abt her bloodline? abt bearing burdens they didnt ask for? god man.... and i just think lysithea is neat :) plus her whole like.... life being cut short and her working extra hard and CONSTANTLY overworking herself bc of it is jsut .... it makes me so sad. her supports w/ lorenz esp rly made that clear for me.... like how she was like. she doesnt give a fuck abt the future of the alliance bc shes not gonna be there to even see it? how she said that id be better for him to speak to someone (abt this stuff) who has one (a future)? it's so fucked up. she deserves better. also her and marianne's relationship to death..... i may make a separate post abt that, but they make me ACHE. as i said before, raphael and ignatz are my boys but theyre not at the top of my list yk. id be happy if i saw them on my team but theyre not my ultimate faves yk. lorenz is jsut. idk. my opinion on him def changed a bit after going throuhg his supports w/ the golden deer but other than that. ... i just hate how he treats claude LMAO he has a stick shoved up his ass like constantly. but i can respect his more pleasant moments absolutely. almost forgot abt hilda im sos sorry hilda. and leonie. idk theyre okay! theyre def in the same boat as ignatz and raphael. leonie did get on my nerves a bit sometimes though. her whole thing w/ jeralt just got annoying sometimes. she got better post timeskip i think but. yeah

SORRY FOR GOIONG ON AND ON LOL THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SENDING THIS IIIIIIN!!!!

#mine #text #asks #anon #fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #my thoughts #my FE tag #FE #FE3H

[yuyurui]

characters who r so gender

- mayoi ayase

- eula genshin impact

- ena (ena)

- that guy from feh whos evil and has a ponytail

#i . . . . yeah #gender envy real except its me wanting their gender #give me your gender /threat #stealing ppls gender bc god forgot to give me one any% speedrun

[starrlikesbooks]

There are SO MANY good books coming out in June!

There are just some of them! As always, check under the cut for more on each~

Ace of Spades by Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé is the Black, queer private school thriller you've been clamoring for. (Oh, was that just me?) I'm not sure if this is going to be more like dark academia or marginalized horror, but either way I am in.

The Chosen and the Beautiful by Nghi Vo is a complete dream for people who read The Great Gatsby in high school and thought "this is cool, but when do we get back to Jordan?", such as myself. This is an adaptation focused on a queer, Asian-American Jordan navigating 1920s America as an "exotic woman" instead of an equal.

The Darkness Outside Us by Eliot Schrefer might be my favorite book of 2021. After having the phenomenal luck to score and read an advanced copy, I can say that this book is best read with as little prior knowledge about the plot as possible. But what I can say, is it's gays in space! And, my God, so much more. Prepare to feel a lot. And then immediately come message me about it.

One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston I also was fortunate enough to get a chance to read already! It's the same fantastic character work and writing as in their debut, Red, White & Royal Blue, but this time with sapphics and time travel loops. This is a cute story with a few nice mystery elements, a great cast of roommates/friends, and so much queer history.

Portrait of a Mirror by A. Natasha Joukovsky caters right to my "I studied English and Theatre in college" self with that basic comedy of manners premise, and my "I will never pass up a good retelling, especially about my boy Narcissus" brain (yeah, that one is niche but true). This honestly just seems like a really fun look at modern mythology with 2 couples getting way too intertwined.

The Witch King by H.E. Edgmon is another one I've already read and loved. The basic premise is that a trans witch (someone doubly shunned in the world they're from) who ran off to the human world years ago gets dragged back by his fae fiancée- the future king of all fae. This book is so fun! Pinballing from meme references to woodsy romance tropes to hesitant espionage, it's impossible not to get roped in and honestly? Why would you not want to!

Future Feeling by Joss Lake is a magical-futuristic story that combines three trans men's lives, after one of them tries to hex the other due to gender/transition envy and accidentally gets another pushed into the shadowlands. This book looks like both a really great conversation about being trans and a genuinely really entertaining story of magic and tech. Plus, three trans protagonists.

Love & Other Natural Disasters by Misa Sugiura I also have already read, and can vouch for being a really nice romance. Zo agrees to fake date the obviously perfect for her Willow to get back at Willow's ex, because she knows how these things work- they'll be together for real before the end of the summer. But real life is messier than romcoms, and maybe Zo isn't so sure what she wants in the first place... If you too love fake dating and love fake dating that gets turned on its head, read this book! Plus, it's full of queer WOC, most of which are Asian-American.

The Marvelous by Claire Kann is like an escape the room meets Willy Wonka, all tied together by tiktok. Intrigued? Confused? Pick up this book! I have already read it, and it's worth it. Golden Weekend is always a mysterious event, never spoken about by former attendees, but this year is different- it's the last one before the creator's retirement. And it seems like she wants to go out with a bang that might take everyone else out with her.

Blood Like Magic by Liselle Sambury is another that might wind up one of my absolute favorites of the year, and another magical-futuristic story. Living just on the edge of society's eyes are communities of Black witches, guided by their ancestors and the special powers they give them once they pass the trial tasked to them. Except, Voya doesn't pass her trial. Now she's got one last chance- kill her first love or doom the family. A hard enough choice without the little snag that she doesn't actually have a first love yet. Enter an experimental dating app and her number one match who she can barely stand talking to. Can she actually fall in love with him? And, more importantly, can she kill him?

The Box in the Woods by Maureen Johnson is the Truly Devious continuation no one expected! Stevie is back, and solving mysteries at summer camp. I absolutely loved Truly Devious and I also happen to love summer camp media, so I'm going nuts thinking about this book. If you love fun mysteries and girl detectives and somehow missed the original series, go binge that! But even if you don't you'll probably enjoy this one by itself.

Violet Ghosts by Leah Thomas I read earlier this year, and is incredibly heavy and possibly triggering. But if you can manage it, it's a genuinely fantastic book! This book follows a teenager whose only friend has been the ghost of a dead girl who believes all men are as terrible as the one who killed her, and whose identity as a trans man is getting harder and harder to ignore.

The Witness for the Dead by Katherine Addison is the companion novel for The Goblin Emperor, and is coming out at a perfect time because I just managed to finally read TGE about a month ago! (And loved it). Not too much is known about the plot of this book, but it's definitely going to have the same fantasy politics and expansive writing from The Goblin Emperor, as well as the character Celehar!

The Bone Way by Holly J. Underhill is an epic fantasy, sapphic retelling of Orpheus and Eurydice. It's no secret that I am both very queer and very into Orpheus and Eurydice so this is a no brainer for me. It's also apparently surprisingly cozy and whimsical, which ties it all together into something I need, and you probably do too.

Gearbreakers by Zoe Hana Mikuta is kind of like an enemies-to-lovers sapphic Pacific Rim. I read this already, and the visuals are amazing. If you like your sci-fi political, your protags POC, and your robots absolutely gigantic, this is your book.

Happy reading!

#upcoming books #new books #gay books #pride books #book list #book recommendations #june books #ace of spades #Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé #the chosen and the beautiful #nghi vo #the darkness outside us #eliot schrefer #one last stop #rwrb #casey mcquiston #portrait of a mirror #a natasha joukovsky #the marvelous #claire kann #the witch king #he edgmon #future feeling #joss lake #love and other natural diasaters #misa sugiura #blood like magic #lisella sambury #the box in the woods #maureen johnson

[leglessjoekeery]

Okay so it's the third of March 2022 and I have decided to live post whatever it's called supernatural because I hate myself.

I am currently on season 2 episode 1 and I'm 26 minutes in so 💀

Anyways

WHY DID HE CUT HIS HAND. JOHN. DOES THE THING REQUIRE HIM TO CUT HIS HAND??? WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE HAND???? WHY

is he gonna burn his blood

I think he just burned his blood

GOD TAHT GUY SCARED ME

Oh shit he's a dude not a dude

'suicidally reckless' perfectly describes all the winchesters tf do you mean

I'm so sorry but I head that "don't cha" and immediately my brain went "DONT CHA WISH YOUR GF WAS HOT LIKE ME" I'm so sorry

I'm Canadian btw 💅

Omg a deal with devil John you sussy baka

I LOVE THEM USING THE OUIJI BOARD SM ITS SO SILLY AND GOOFY

Crying at Sam rn

I really don't like this reaper

She sounds kinda nice tho I think I might just HAHHAHAHA IM NOT INTO PRUDE CHICKS WHY DID I FIND THAT SO FUNNY HA

Can you tell I have adhd yet

Girl I have seen so many spoilers for this show I know he isn't gonna die. At least forever.

WHY WAS THE "that's just facts 🤞💅🤪" SO FUNNY???

Girl you can't stop Dean Winchester stop fooling yourself

John r u sure this isn't a trick

Omg it's that guy who's kids Dean killed

WHAT ABOUT SAMMY WHAT WHO ARE THE OTHER KIDS WHAT

John please have a better plan than this I beg

What do you want sir

Why does she sound sad and should I use they them or she her bc its a reaper like what pronouns do reapers use THE LIGHTS??? WHAT OMG WHAT WHAT THE SHIT BISCUIT OMG SHW HAS YELLOW EYES WHAT THE

HES CHOKING WHT OMG???

Omg he's doing good again

HE DOESNT REMEMBER??????????

Did John just call his child dude. Bro.

John "specific" Winchester

Bro is he a dude again or what

Omg Dean Winchester lore??

ITS OKAY DAD OMG THATS SO CUTE

Crying.

Dean must be thinking "girl stop acting sus af 😒"

BRO IS HE GONNA DIE WHAT

What is he whispering WHAT IS HE WHISPERING

Why are they crying omg what

I thought he was gonna off himself for a hot sec omg

WAIT WHAT HES ACTUALLY DEAD WHTA

That poor coffee 😕

Bro John pls

Ah shit bitch dick NO HE DIED IN THE AM

Okay next episode time woohoo 🤪🤪

Bro I love clowns they're delightful

Except for that one he's sus

Omg where'd he go

That kid looked like lily from modern family for a sec

Why is he outside her window 🤨 very sus

NO DONT OPEN THE DOOR FOR HIM STRANGER DANGER STRANGER DANGER

BRO IS THAT HER ON THE SPIT OR WHATEVER ITS CALLE oh thank god it's just john

Girl stop lying this is why yo daddy dead. Dead as hell. What shoes he got on. What shoes he got on in that mummy looking ass cacoon.

Omg he's re building the car❗❗ let's gooo

Bro you were just in a coma and then ur dad died stop it listen to sam

Ellen as in Ellen Ellen? Like the show host??

I FEEL LIKE A FRIGGIN SOCCER MOM HAHAHAH

Is that man dead

Man(?)

OH GOD PLEASE LET THAT BE A RIFE HAHAHHAH

Ooh she got moves

In love with these badasses

Omg Ellen she's so much better than I thought she was gonna be

Lmao they can't ask him he's deaaaad

No, ma'am he's real dead. He's not doin good.

Yes, who is ash

Omg I love him too

Omg he's a smart bimbo

HE WAS STRUCK BY LIGHNING??? he's so cool.

Gender envy.

How old is this kid

HOW OLD IS SHE

Dean that is literally perfectly describing you

KILLER CLOWN?? WHAT IS THIS 2016???

SAM IS AFRAID OF CLOWNS HAHHAH

bro I almost forgot that Dean is afraid of flying LMAO

Omg is Sam a dude

"ur not like urself" omg where have I heard that before

That child is a MOOD

nvm we're breaching into non-mood territory

So true kids dad 🙏 so true 🙏

Oh shit no what no he's in the house in the dad's bedroom aw hell nah

Those are NOT the clowns ur looking for my duded

Bro can I be a smart bimbo

TRYING TO FIND A NEEDLE IN A STACK OF NEEDLES HA

Dean no what stop hate criming people

He does look just like his daddy.. sus 🤨

2.5 KIDS??? HOW???? IVE NEVER UNDERSTOOD THAT PLS SOMEONE HELP /SRS

I hate those mirrors

Omg is this gonna b like Phil dunphy. Is HE gonna be the clown 😧

Yo is that James Potter?? (Iykyk)

"your blind man hearing is outta control" 💀

Is Dean supposed to be the one giving me gender envy bc he's not. It's Sam. He just has so much GENDER

I WANT HIS GENDER

You are a white man outside of a black family's house PUT THAT GUN AWAY

She looks so happy 😕

THE CLOWN SURVIVED THE GUNSHOT???

John and Ellen??? NO, DEAN. NO.

"I stg the next person I see who asks me if I'm okay, I'm gonna start throwing punches. These are your issues. Quit dumping them on me" 😧

"IM DEALING WITH DADS DEATH, ARE YOU?" BRO

OW I WAS JUST CHEWING ON MY CHEW NECKLACE AND I THINK I BROKE MY JAW 😭

Anyways the supernatural grind never stops 💪💪

They sleep on a bed of dead insects? 😰

I KNEW IT. I SAID HE WAS SUS. I FEEL GODLIKE RN

Oh no he has a gun

THE CLOWN SUIT. THE CLOWN SUIT.

AGAIN, I FEEL GODLIKE.

Bro what just happened I'm so confused

Omg is Mr clown man nakey 👀

THE WAY HE JUST STABBED THAT DUDE??

Does Jo have a crush on Sam or Dean I can't tell

❗SMART BIMBO IS BACK❗

MIT??? HE SMART SMART

Dean pls dust ur car

DEAN HUG UR BROTHER

IF YOU GO BACK TO TO oh shit he broke the windows omg he's breaking his car he's having a mental breakdown no stop what

Dear Winchester brothers,

Hug each other.

Sincerely,

Bread

Anyways I gotta go to bed now 🙄 I'll continue tomorrow during school ig 😒

#i really hope someone thinks im funny #supernatural #supernatural spoilers #?? #idk man i just got here

[salamipope]

Thoughts i have about me and my trans:

- i have vague memories of packing with socks as a kid at night only because during day people (my mom) would very clearly see, for some reason i thought that made me a lesbian

- when i turned 13 i was destroyed by depression that forced me to eject from reality and form addictions to the internet, a lot of which was caused by some pretty terrible neglect but im also realizing lately that in terms of my trans timeline, i had been trying to be feminine in my own way and it just didnt seem to interlock well. Everything in my life was mechanical except me liking girls. I learned about STPs then and my mind was blown. Couldnt resist looking them up at midnight til i turned about 14.

- Now that im almost a decade older than then im handling my situation well and i have the ability to look back and recognize the different kinds of depression i was experiencing. One that has been new and aggressive is depression from dysphoria specifically. It felt strangely familiar. Realized about a week ago i dont have it as much ever since i started to change my presentation and that helped me figure out that i was experiencing it when i was 13 too and just couldnt recognize it. Its a lot more noticeable when you arent in it all the time and suddenly get punched in the eye with dysphoria depression

- sat the opposite way on the toilet why????? To be a boy. I did that to be a boy.

- Slowly remembering a very very early memory where my brother had a friend over who we regularly played with and he didnt want to play with me. i couldnt handle the rejection cuz i was like 4. I asked why we couldnt play and he told me it was because i was a girl and the games they played i wouldnt like. I remember saying it wasnt true and i was clearly a boy.

- Ive been out as GNC since i was about 11

- dysphoria is so tiring and being trans is so tiring and i am so tired lol. But im not crying in my room and laying in my bed outside of work all the time. I havent had a mental breakdown in months and I dont think I will again like I used to.

- After cutting my hair i felt a substantial change in that my mind could shut the fuck up finally. So much less clutter up there. Every time i do something gender affirming I am met with a beautiful silence and the only real noise is the worry im faking it because being trans, for me, was not at all obvious. I wish people would talk more about their struggle with realizing it but i understand why the confidence is so vital

and finally:

- just about every time i thought i was intoa a guy it was fucking gender envy!!!! i didnt even know that was a thing until like 2 months ago man. What the hell. 2 very different kinds of butterflies.

#Trans #Dysphoria #Talking about dysphoria #FTM #Mental health #Thoughts #Transgender #FTM transgender #Transgender FTM

[cherryyjjk]

forever rain [1]

summary: to greek gods, it was a well-known fact that the fates liked to play tricks. but was this too far? what would happen when they made two unlikely gods have a tugging string in their hearts, yearning for each other?

pairing: hades!jin x persephone!reader

genre: angst / fluff / greek god! au / black swan! au

word count: 7.1k

warnings: isolation, slight manipulation

a/n: please check out the note about this series in my masterlist before reading! (this is the version where you’re shorter than the members) thanks for reading and i hope you enjoy :D

Another warm spring day, with the flowers blooming, birds chirping. An overall happy theme.

You despised it.

How could these people like the constant happiness, the constant smiling, the constant joy? As if everything was right in the world.

It wasn’t.

It hadn’t been in years. As a minor goddess, you weren’t roped into the specifics but, you knew that something was brewing up in Olympus. You couldn’t understand what yet but you knew something.

Your mother, Demeter, had not told you much but you had noticed her retiring in the early evenings to bed, only to overhear some whispers in her room in the dead of night. You knew who it was, who else could give her messages of what was happening up in the sky?

Hermes, the messenger of the gods.

He liked to call himself Jimin. You understood the desire to keep more human names, traits. You had especially liked the name Y/N, it rolled off your tongue and stuck.

Of course, your mother despised it. Just like everything else you did that did not include helping her. She had ‘discussed’ the matter with you once.

“You’re a goddess for Zeus sake! You should keep your powerful name, Persephone.”

You had rolled your eyes at the statement. Even Zeus had his own name, Namjoon. It fitted the god’s wisdom but not his intimate tendencies. You knew Jungkook, Hera, would be fuming whether or not Namjoon was looking at mortal women and men again, but just at the thought. You chuckled and rolled your eyes, you missed that. You missed your friends. You were so close with the gods in Olympus.

Only for your mother to pull you down to Earth to help the mortals survive.

It was a fruitless request, your presence was not needed. There wasn’t any weather changed except the warm sunshine to good rainfall every other day. Crops were thriving and the people were happy.

It was a paradise.

You were useless here.

Alas, you couldn’t disobey your mother, that would give more complications then you would ever want. Her gray eyes and sharp words would often cut through your measly requests of exploration. You didn’t ask for the secret of life, just if you could travel beyond the meadows and into the forest.

You tried to reason with yourself that she was just trying to protect you but sometimes it was stifling. Couldn’t she trust you for more than a few minutes?

You had covered up your curiosity by saying that you wanted to help protect the young men who cut wood in the night. You envied their positions, they had real families. Your mother had rolled her eyes and with a subtle way of words, she had made your request seem like the end of the world. She kept a finger under your chin, holding it up to her face. She pouted, and drawled out a familiar phrase.

“Why? You don’t like living with your mother? I know what’s best for you.”

You knew that something was wrong. Your mother was a bit strict, to put it lightly, but she had recently become even more controlling. It was as if she was running out of time and couldn’t bear the thought of you not being at her side.

Your relationship reminded you of a mortal folktale you had heard of. Nothing to do with gods like they usually were, but a different one. You forgot the name but you vividly remembered the story being told around a fire. It was about a girl with long, gold hair who was trapped in a tower by her conniving mother. The similarities were striking and you knew something was off. You never addressed it, scared that the mortals might get the brunt of your mother’s anger for a made-up story.

So you kept the story and the happy ending inside your mind and it beat in your heart. It was something yours and truly and only yours. It seemed like a treasure that you would never let go off. You liked how in the end, she was able to escape her prison and live an adventurous life. You envied her courage. Her bravery to leave what she knew behind to take the chance of finding something more. And even someone more.

You tried to keep these thoughts quiet, scared if it entered your mind, it would be on the tip of your tongue and your mother would steal it from you. Like your freedom.

Your morning thoughts were interrupted by Jimin’s wings flapping onto the balcony you had been looking out from. The balcony was made of a white marble and it was right outside your room. The room was spacious but not needed. You were a goddess, you didn’t need sleep or have any mortal belongings. But it was nice, in its own way.

Jimin’s light smile always brightened your mood, no matter the time or day. You looked at him as he descended but did not open your mouth, afraid of the response he might give to the question that had been plaguing you.

Maybe another day.

He landed next to you, his soft pink locks bouncing before the small white and gold flecked wings on his ankles disappeared in a bit of smoke.

He was wearing white robes with gold accents, he had a touch for style you knew had been inspired by Apollo, or as he called himself: Hoseok. The mortal depiction of Hermes was that he held a staff of two talking snakes and wore a helmet but a few eons ago, Jimin had rolled his eyes at the tradition and tossed both away. Obviously, he was reprimanded for this by Namjoon so he decided to compromise and just keep them hidden from view. However, if you concentrated, you could make out a gold shimmer in his hair where his helmet ought to be or hear two overlapping voices of the snakes on his staff.

“What do I owe to have the pleasure of seeing you, Jimin?” You asked, turning away from him to lean on the handrail of your balcony. Your hands had felt those rails so many times. It was rough and warm, just like everything in the mortal world.

You wanted to feel something different, something—

“You flatter me, and yourself. How did you know I’ve come to see you?” He smirked and teased.

You flicked your eyes back up at his, only to see them gazing back at you. His eyes swirled with a mix of brown and gold, showing his power. You didn’t yield down and continued to look at him. He sighed softly and looked out to the fields that the balcony overlooked. He brought an arm around your shoulders and slowly pulled you closer to him. You wrapped your arms around his torso and put your head on his chest.

“I miss you, Kore,” He murmured, tired of keeping up appearances, “we all do.”

You hummed in understanding, taking the chance to relish being in your friend’s arms. It wouldn’t have been bad to live in the mortal world, in basically a palace that mortals couldn’t see. With endless food and drinks to indulge. But you didn’t want any of that. You wanted your friends, the people you loved and cared about.

“We all miss our pretty bird. The one who would fly across Olympus because she heard some of us talking loudly. Her feathers glistening in the morning dew after racing Hobi and his chariot to bring the sunrise. Quarreling with Namjoon about little things or when Taehyung scolded you for drinking too much ambrosia. We miss you.”

“I know. I miss you all too.”

Your friends had called you pretty bird after your endearing qualities that you always expressed on Olympus. You would hear an uproar from one side of the throne room and you’d come dashing in to see what was the problem. Your selflessness and compassion had made many of the gods favor you. Even Jungkook, known for his coldness to other gods, had a soft spot for you.

And you used to be a cheeky brat when you were a few eons old. You’d steal ambrosia from Hebe, the goddess of youth. She’d be sleeping when you would find her golden cup, filled with the sweet of the gods. She’d scold you multiple times, but you’d have a smile on your face from tricking her. You were also the one who gave her a mortal name, Taehyung. You later realized it was more so used for males, but she laughed it off. Saying she liked the way it sounded and explained how gender norms were only a mortal concept and that she could embody a man. She did and you started to realize why she— or he rather, was the god of youth.

Jungkook would even side you when you disturbed Namjoon, saying that you were only a child. He would also laugh it off, patting you on the head, while Jungkook would only smile. You didn’t remember much of what your mother used to do. She would come every once in a while to check up on you, before leaving back to the mortal world. You didn’t mind her absence. Demeter was always the one scolding you the most. She’d punish you by saying that you weren’t allowed to leave a certain area until she deemed fit. Of course, during these times, your friends would help you out. The first time they did, you jumped so high that Jimin thought you had sprouted wings. That was the first time they called you pretty bird. You still felt like a pretty bird.

A pretty bird held in golden cage. But you realized that, though the bars might be golden, it was still a cage.

And a bird is meant to be free.

————————————————————

You were roaming around the meadows again, but not alone.

You could never be alone.

“Y/N, where are you going? Come back here and don’t wander off!” Your mother yelled from behind you.

In reality, you had barely been a few feet away from her. You turned your head back at her upset form and nodded in acknowledgment. There wasn’t much you could do but agree.

Though, while slowly walking back to your mother’s side, you looked at the meadow you were in. It was filled with vegetation: flowers, grass, fern, and other herbs. They weren’t all just green, but different shades of greens, browns, and a sprinkle of colors from the daisies or lavender planted there.

A swift breeze passed by you and your dress moved with it. Your hands went to the soft, cotton fabric of your plain, white chiton. Your mother hated the choice of clothing, saying that you shouldn’t conform to mortal standards as you were a goddess. You tried to understand but, it was a simple dress and the gods wore more or less the same thing. It must have been because you didn’t wear a laurel wreath on your head. You despised it, remembering how you loved hiding in cherry laurel when you were younger. There was no point in cutting off a few branches to identify yourself as god. The mortals couldn’t see you, only other gods could. It was useless.

Even in little things you tried to disobey your mother, such as shortening the chiton by a few inches at the bottom. It could help you run through the grass, if you could.

If she allowed it.

You stopped in your tracks to crouch down, holding your arms around your knees while balancing on the front of your feet. You looked in front of you at the baby’s breath in curiosity, it was such a lovely plant and you liked the simplicity. It had always been a favorite.

“I’m sorry for yelling, but it’s getting late and I don’t want you to wander off. Please stay close, okay?” Your mother asked, her true feelings surfacing for a brief second. She held your wrist and pulled you up.

Her fingers pinched your skin, but you didn’t cry out. She dragged you through the baby breath and your feet crushed the plant. Your mother kept walking for a few feet until stopping in front of a cluster of crops that were wilting, most likely from a disease. Your mother folded her arms while you rubbed your wrists to ease the pain. 

“Sorry Kore, I didn’t know I hurt you.”

“It’s fine.”

She looked at you worried, but you shrugged it off and sighed.

Closing your eyes, you tried to stay calm. Your mother wanted to test your powers again, afraid that your talks with Jimin or your curiosity was hindering it someway.

You opened your eyes and took a deep breath in. You felt your fingers tingle and you opened your palm out to the crops. In mere moments, the disease that effected the crops vanished, leaving healthier ones in its stead.

Your mother only hummed and stepped towards you. She stood in front of you and smiled. These were the moments you liked, when your mom was not being completely anxious and worried. Her smile reminded you about wilting flowers, beautifully sad. She took your hands into hers delicately, unlike the way she grabbed them earlier, and rubbed them. You liked the feeling but it was even better when she kissed the top of your head.

“I love you Persephone, I’m sorry if I have been anxious the past few days. It is not your fault. Don’t worry about it, okay?” Demeter gently said before letting go of your hands and walking away.

You liked this version of your mother. Sometimes during the later months of the year, her eyes would gloss over as if remembering something depressing. In those days, her voice and actions were strikingly different from the mother you loved. She would act as if she only cared about what you could do, it was very weird. You knew that wasn’t who your mother was but something made her want to protect and hone your powers. It wasn’t like someone was going to kidnap you, right? 

You sighed and changed your thoughts to something lighter. You wished for a chance to go back and look through all the herbs in the meadow. Mortals thought they had healing powers, and sometimes you laughed at the aspect of mortals. They had no powers, no way to heal themselves, no way to truly hurt each other, no way to protect themselves.

You wished you were human.

You sighed and your eyes flickered behind you, only to see something quite different from what you were expecting. You tilted your head in confusion and suddenly your eyes widened.

It was a forest.

Your eyebrows furrowed and you thought, When had that gotten there?

You were in doubt of what you’re were seeing until the image rippling like a reflection in water. You knew that magic. It was a covering, to stop others from seeing a forest. Your gasped softly in realization, the forest was a lot closer than you had originally thought.

Your freedom was a lot closer than you originally thought.

You took a few steps towards the image and it flickered again, showing the tall trees and darker green grass.

“Persephone? Is everything— what do you think you’re doing?” Your mother snapped from behind you. You turned around to see her steely gaze. You stuttered in a reply, but she only shook her head, repeating how naive you were.

“Do you know how dangerous these parts of the meadow are? Practically anything can happen! Let’s go home, Kore.”

Demeter had a faraway look in her eyes. She strolled over and was about to grab your hand again when another stopped your mother.

It was Jimin.

He smiled sweetly, looking at your mother. His eyes were in crescents but his hand blocked hers from reaching your hand. 

“What a pleasant surprise! Demeter, Y/N, how lovely to see you both.”

Your mother rolled her eyes and eyed Jimin up and down, suspicious of his intentions. Jimin only smiled back and merely glanced at you. He started to gently push your mother in the other direction while holding her forearm. She was shocked and tried to get out of his grip. However, he whispered a few words into her ears and the goddess stayed still. Jimin looked back at you and gave you a comforting smile.

“Why don’t you go along, Y/N? Your mother doesn’t mind anymore. Plus, someone has much to discuss with her.” Jimin stated, already waving and walking away with your mother.

You were astonished how fast everything had happened, but nonetheless would not allow this chance to slip away from you.

You looked behind you once more and took in a deep breath. Waving your hand again, the mirage disappeared and there stood dark pine trees, tall and ominous. You took one step forward, and then another. You kept doing this, slowly, as you were still wary of what might happen. You stopped when you reached the end of the meadow and the start of the forest. Your foot hung in the air, hesitating to step into the different landscape. You knew, once you ventured in, it would be even harder to come back.

You pushed your doubts to the back of your mind and stepped forward. The ground was damp and cold, making your eyebrows rise in astonishment. You looked down and saw dark, brown dirt with hints of moss. You smiled, you did it. You had finally explored out of the meadows, albeit it only being a step away. You gathered up the courage and kept walking through the forest, passing by trees and rocks.

You were blissfully strolling through the forest, your hands swinging from side to side, and a permanent grin on your lips. Before you could continue your journey, you heard a whisper. You turned your head back and forth, trying to pinpoint the origin of the sound but without luck. You tried to shrug off the sound, thinking it was your imagination. About to keep walking, you heard the voice again.

And it was picking up volume.

More joined in.

Your hands trembled and your eyes kept flickering between the tree trunks. You put a shaking foot back, only to hear the voices even louder. Your eyes widened from terror and without another doubt in your mind, you started to run in the direction you came from, only to realize that there was more trees. You didn’t see the meadow or your palace. You could only see more trees, as if the forest had tricked you.

You shook your head to try and rid of the disturbing thoughts. You didn’t know what would happen but you had to leave.

And fast.

You took a few more awkward steps forward, until you were running again. You didn’t stop when you heard the voices getting clearer. You didn’t stop when you tripped on a rock and stubbed your toe. However, the fatigue got to you, it was another human tendency you had to deal with while being in the current form you embodied.

You were out of breath and slowed down your pace. From a few feet away, you saw a cave. It was dark gray and looked like it would crumble at any second. Putting aside safety, your curiosity got the best of you and you continued into the cave. The cave was a lot larger than you had anticipated but you relished that you had some sort of shelter. You tried looking behind you to see the light from the entrance of the cave, only to be met with darkness.

Everything was dark.

You looked around to try and find some semblance of light. There was nothing. It was as if someone had dropped you into the middle of the void.

Maybe going out was a bad idea.

The thought of staying inside your palace, surrounded by white walls and plush bedding, felt like a dream. The sun shining through your balcony and the birds chirping.

Maybe mother was—

“What are you doing, Kore?”

You gasped and twirled around, only to find more darkness. You were scared and couldn’t pinpoint where the voice was coming from. You dug your nails into your sweaty palms to try and stop them from shaking, but it was no use. Your feet slid across the cold floor, littered with sharp rocks that pinched and scratched your supple skin. You winced, not understanding what was happening or who had called out your name.

You heard distant wailing and a growing rumble of voices from a far-off distance. You closed your eyes and put your arms around your ears. You fell to the floor, hunched, as if it would protect you from the scary reality. The noises, the rocks, the darkness, the voices, were all overwhelming your mind.

You shook you head, trying to deny the danger you might be in. You didn’t want to find yourself in such a situation, all you wanted was to explore. And you got that freedom, but for a price.

You made out the same voice midst the wailing, garbled and soft, as if you were underwater. It sounded closer to you now, you curled up further, trying to separate yourself. You hoped that whatever, or whoever it was, would leave you alone. Leave you alone. Alone. Alone. Alone.

Everything stopped as quickly as it started.

Your ears couldn’t pick up anything and it didn’t seem so loud anymore.

Maybe it’s gone? You thought, hopeful that you were alone once more and it was all a weird illusion.

You uncovered your eyes and lifted your head slightly to realize you were in the cave once more. On the floor in front of you, you could see your shadow, meaning a light was behind you.

You could go home.

You lifted your body instantly and turned around. You were about to step towards the entrance when you felt a presence behind you. You steadied your hands and tightened your limbs, ready to run away.

But you couldn’t, your curiosity didn’t allow it. You cursed it in your head.

You slowly moved your body to face behind you, only to be met with a male figure.

His black eyes pierced yours but the presence did not feel as threatening as it should have been. His hair looked light to the touch but you didn’t dare think about doing that. Slung around his neck was a small, black necklace, and attached was a singular black feather. He was wearing a black blouse, tucked into black pants. The dark outfit should have made it impossible to see him in the cave; however, there was a small glow around his body, a tell-tale sign of his power.

Your eyes rested on his collarbone and lowered to see that the first few buttons were unbuttoned. Your gaze lowered and you made out a strong chest, before blinking rapidly. Your cheeks flushed and you looked away, trying to calm your racing heart from seeing such a beautiful man in front of you.

But you had to stay focused, beautiful or not, he could be dangerous. Very dangerous. This man could lead you away from home, or worse.

Man? No a god, definitely. No man could radiate such power and authority.

You heard footsteps and saw that he was now only a few steps away from you. At the same time, it seemed that the light behind you darkened, seeming to be farther away. You didn’t pay attention to that fact, only looking up at the quiet figure’s face.

He was emotionless but his eyes swirled with a purple hint. They were looking back at you without faltering. He slowly reached a hand out in front of you. You stared at the hand, it looked rough and you thought how it would encompass your own. You looked up again, to see his expression unchanged. You looked back at the hand and reached out for it instinctively. Something took over your mind and body and now all you wanted was to hold his hand.

Your fingers touched his rough skin, until they were intertwined. The man tightened his grip on your hand but it didn’t hurt. It was gentle and felt protective almost.

Like a friend.

The feeling of his fingers caused your heartbeat to quicken.

A sudden wind blew through the opening of the cave and you turned to face the dimmed light, squinting at the outside world. Three familiar, overlapping voices whispered into your ears. You could only make out a few sentences.

..It is done…

When the maiden joins her hand with the bringer of death,

she entrusts him with her life and last breath

He must take her to his world

until he has learned

the ways of the gods and humans.

For there they will live together as lovers.

For the rest of their days.

It is done…It is done…

The voices echoed on and in a sudden, the light that was once there— vanished. Your eyes widened in confusion and when trying to move, you realized you were pushed to the ground by an invisible force.

Your knees buckled and hit the ground. You tried to get up, but it seemed that something anchored you down. Or as if your legs had fallen asleep. You shook your head and kept trying, even putting one of your hands down on the ground.

But it felt different.

You looked down to see that you weren’t on the ground at all, but rather in some type of vehicle, with a floor of purple velvet.

You were in a chariot.

You looked up to see that your hands were still intertwined with the man and his eyebrows were furrowed, his eyes set in front of him.

You didn’t know where he was taking you. You recalled the poem from the wind— no the fates, telling a story.

It was your future.

You knew you couldn’t escape what they said. The fates decided everything and it was futile to try and go against it. You knew that those three women were smart enough to know what is right. You’d have to trust them, even if it would be your worst nightmare.

You closed your eyes, but a few tears slipped out. You tugged on your arm once again, to find it still held by the man. His grip was harsher than your mothers’ or any you had felt, but not too restricted. You wanted to leave, you wanted to go home. You didn’t want this.

All you wanted was freedom, but this was another cage. You hoped that this had softer bars than the last. But it didn’t matter.

You weren’t free.

————————————————————

You woke up to the chariot stopping and the man pulling you up by your arms from where you were sitting. Your legs were shaky and still asleep due to the position you had fallen down in.

When you were finally up and didn’t fall down, the mysterious man clasped his hand around/in yours to support you and guided you away from the chariot.

His hand was rough and encompassed your own. It didn’t feel like your mother’s soft, long fingers or Jimin’s tiny, plump hand. It was different and his hand was freezing.

The entire environment was freezing and you started getting goosebumps over your arms, making you start to regret the choice of clothing.

You finally had a minute to look around since he was walking so slow. You realized that his chariot was drawn by these gray horses. They looked like they were shrouded in mist and you could see their forms flicker. It looked like the same magic that hid the forest from you. One of the horses turned to you and it’s eyes made you uncomfortable. They were pure white. They stared at you and you quickly looked away.

You turned around to look where the man was dragging you and saw that you were approaching a palace of sorts. It was made out of black obsidian and marble, with a bronze door. The palace seemed like it would crumble any minute with how old it looked but, it held strong. It was massive, you quickly realized after being in front of it.

You walked up the steps, your hand still held by the man. You looked up at the building, only for you to lose your footing and start to fall backwards.

You yelped out and tried to hold onto the man’s hand when he quickly turned around and tugged you into his sturdy chest. It all happened in a few seconds.

You clung onto his blouse, afraid of falling down the stairs again while your hands were shaking.

He wrapped his arms around your body to keep you from moving back. The momentum made him sway backwards and so his hands held your waist tighter. He regained his balance quickly but didn’t lessen his grip on you.

You eyes stay rooted to the feather on his neck and didn’t dare look up. You knew if you did, you’d be barely inches away from his face. You felt his eyes on you and you couldn’t help but shiver.

You felt awkward and uncomfortable, and embarrassed for some reason. You tried letting go of his blouse after calming down. At first, the man held on tighter and you became stiff. But soon after, he slowly let go of your waist, letting you adjust yourself to the small step you both were standing on.

You rose your head to his and saw that he was still staring at you. You turned around quickly and head up the remaining stairs while trying not to look back, scared of embarrassing yourself even more. At the top of the stairs was the bronze double doors, at least four times your height and as twice as wide as the doors to your palace back home.

To say the least, it was huge.

There was no door handle to turn or pull so you stood there waiting for the man to come up. You didn’t want to look back, still afraid you’d be speechless again or it would just be awkward, so you tried finding something to distract yourself with.

The man was only a few steps behind you and walked up to your right side. You felt his gaze on you but you didn’t look back. You kept your head up and kept looking at the intricate swirls in the marble of the palace. When you felt his vision shift away, you looked to see his eyes trained on the doors and his arm reached out. He placed his palm on the door and murmured a few words you didn’t catch.

“W-what?” You asked, unaware of what he was saying.

He sighed and repeated his words a little louder, “..Give me your hand.”

His voice was soft and steady. He talked with a type of elegance you hadn’t heard before. He didn’t ask for it nor demand it, but his tone didn’t leave room for questioning. Most people back home were either too cocky and brash, getting angry quickly.

You blinked a few times and decided that it would be safe enough to place your hand in his. You slowly reached out and held his free hand with yours. You stood there, confused and furrowed your eyebrows.

You felt connected to the man and electric buzz moved through your body and into his where you where intertwined. You heard a small and similar buzzing sound in the door and it felt like it was pulling you.

Your eyes widened and you let out a tiny gasp and placed your other hand parallel to his on the door. The door and the two of you were now connected.

You felt a bond to the man that you couldn’t quite describe. It felt almost like a string in your heart, tugging the tiniest bit in his direction.

You closed your eyes as you felt a part of your godly energy being ignited in your being. A slow wind blew and repeated a message into your ears.

..It is done…It is done…

The door creaked loudly and opened, making you and the man put your hands back to your sides. The man stayed silent as the door opened to its full extent. Once open, he walked through the door and went inside.

The string got tighter.

You looked back down the stairs and saw the chariot. You couldn’t see much else past that as there was a thick fog blocking your vision. Deciding that it would be better to follow him, you walked through the doors.

In the hallway, it was lit by torches on the wall and so you could barely see the outline of the man in front of you. But you could feel the string inside on your chest, pulling you towards his shadowy figure.

He turned left. You quickened your pace.

You walked for a few more minutes before you reached a smaller white door. Avoiding your gaze, he pushed the door open and walked inside. You followed him to see you were in the middle of a bedroom. Everything was black and the two lanterns in the room didn’t even help illuminate the room. You stayed quiet, looking around and choosing to go sit on the large bed in the corner. You looked up to meet the man’s eyes.

They were still as striking as when you met him in the cave, but they seemed colder, if possible. The two of you didn’t stop staring at each other for a few minutes. You looked away first, too tired from the day’s things to care. You knew what your fate was now.

You were promised to the man in front of you.

You had heard stories about things like this when you were younger. How heroes were tricked into marrying nymphs or evil spirits leading them to their demise for the ‘gods to be happy’. You were a god. This didn’t exactly make you happy.

The man didn’t look like an evil spirit. And if he was, he would’ve killed you by now. You must’ve been promised to marry him. He hadn’t tried anything so you decided that maybe becoming friends would be the best option. You laid your hands on the bed and felt a pillow to your side. It was fluffed up and had a velvet covering. Your hand grabbed the pillow and placed it in your lap before looking up again.

While you were thinking, the man had left the room with the door closed. You realized that this man wouldn’t be with you and you were beyond grateful. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. You decided that maybe sleeping wouldn’t be a bad idea. It wasn’t that you needed to but it was the only thing you wanted to do at the moment.

You placed the pillow back where it was and rested your head on it. You plopped you’re feet on the bed and stretched out in a star shape. You closed your eyes and sighed.

A wind blew through the room again, despite there being no opening in the room. Your bare feet got goosebumps and you shivered. You curled up into a ball and hugged your knees to your chest. You hadn’t felt any blanket so this was the best option to stay warm.

You shut your eyes tighter, trying to fight off the cold and finally went to sleep.

_______________________________________________

Hades wanted to say something to you, but he was pulled away. His servant had called him in his mind and he had to rush out to see what the emergency was. It was a false alarm and Hades was more than furious. A calm god like him wasn’t supposed to show his true emotions and he prided himself on having a calm demeanor. But he was more so confused why he was so angry. It wasn’t an emergency and so nothing bad happened.

Why is there a tugging in my heart?

He shook his head and remembered what happened in the earlier moments of the day while walking back to his room. When he met you in the cave, his first thoughts were flooded by your own. For some reason, he could hear what you were thinking and even he was shocked. He knew how innocent you were but didn’t think that you didn’t recognize him.

He knew you.

Persephone, the goddess responsible of all things green and living in the human world. Also referred to as Kore by your loved ones. He knew about how you liked being called Y/N, like how he liked being called Jin. But that was it.

No one warned him that you were beautiful.

He had been in the presence of Aphrodite— Yoongi, and he strongly believed that Y/N could definitely rival the title: god of beauty. There was a certain aura about you that attracted Jin. You were curious and bold yet clumsy. You had tripped over air when walking up the stairs to the palace doors.

Jin’s hands went to his lightly blushing cheeks. He covered his mouth to hid the ends of his lips turning upwards. He remembered how he had tugged your soft hands towards him and your body hit his chest. Your hands had caught onto his blouse quickly and were gripping them tightly. He had also rocked back and had dug his fingers into your waist a little. He sighed softly and shut his eyes.

He hoped he hadn’t hurt you.

He didn’t want to hurt you. That wasn’t what was supposed to happen. He knew the two of you were promised to each other for some odd reason. The fates liked to play tricks on humans, but even gods? Jin liked to think it was immature, he knew that the two of you wouldn’t fall in love but he did want to be on good terms with you, maybe even friends. Hurting you in one of the first few moments you met was not the plan.

He opened his eyes and looked down to his opened hands. To anyone else, it looked like regular human hands. But what Jin saw was very different. And he hated what he saw.

He saw blood.

His hands were soaked in red and he couldn’t remove that scarring image no matter how much he washed it, rubbed it, or even poured ambrosia over it. It would always be in his memory and what he saw when he looked at his hands. He was the god of the Underworld, he took care of those who had died, both saints and sinners. He had to join Thanatos to wars and famines since the amount that died where higher. Or when a certain person deserved his presence when dying, for good and bad reasons.

With that on his conscience, how could he live without the thought of the dead?

Jin clenched his hand into a fist and closed his eyes, frustrated at the world and everything. He took a deep breath in and relaxed his hands to his side. He opened his eyes again and looked forward.

He knew it was futile to think more but he thought that the addition of you would make his life change. For the better. He knew it was dumb but he had hope. Even if that hope had become the size of a needle from a pillar.

He started walking again to his room, thinking about what you were doing. He should try and find something for you to do. His palace wasn’t at all like the white palace in the bright human world. His palace was black, black, and more black with very minimal lighting. He was sure that it was a huge shock to you.  

He moved quicker through the winding hallways to his room and stopped mid-step into opening the door before thinking twice. He didn’t want to intrude incase you were doing something private. He sighed again and decided on knocking first.

Who would’ve guessed?

The infamous Hades, king of the Underworld and god of the dead, was knocking to enter his own room in his palace. No one, no one would’ve guessed that or even thought of it happening.

He knocked twice. No response.

He knocked again, albeit a little louder this time. No response.

He decided that it would be okay to open the door so he entered the room. He slowly poked his head inside, only to find you curled up in a ball on his bed.

On his bed.

Jin’s ears reddened from embarrassment and shyness. He quickly pat them down to try and alleviate the heat.

Jin shook his head to stop the emotions and thoughts coming into his mind and focused on your shaking form. He realized that the temperature in his world compared to the human world would’ve also been different.

He moved to the side of the bed in front of you and stared at your small form. You were shaking like a leaf, goosebumps on your forearms and legs. He was thinking of what to do when he heard a small noise from you. You had whimpered from the cold and you’re teeth were chattering.

In an instant, he brought his hand to his shoulder and clenched his fist, looking like he had grabbed onto air.

The ‘air’ he grabbed materialized into his huge coat and he yanked it off his broad shoulders. He wrapped the warm material around your form and you stilled. Your teeth stopped chattering as much.

You hummed in relief and at the soft sound, Jin smiled for the first time in eons.

Once he realized this, Jin quickly put on a stoic expression again while trying to understand why his mind was riddled with thoughts of you. He couldn’t understand his behavior, he was never like this.

He was patting the make-shift blanket under your waist to make it snug when your hand found his fingers. He immediately stopped and felt your soft hand.

Your hand was quite cold but you held on tightly to his fingers. Jin sat on the edge of the bed.

He then trapped your hand in between his and blew lightly on it to warm it up. Jin then intertwined his hand into yours and decided to sit on the floor next to the bed. He didn’t want to make you uncomfortable or do something that you hadn’t allowed. He also tried not to think of anything else involving you.

He found a place on the floor and put his back to the bed rails and tightly gripped your hand. His thumb rolled over your knuckles in an effort of comfort and to warm it up. Jin’s hair was ruffled from the times he had run it through while on the chariot or coming back to the room due to stress but he messed it up even further.

He knew how many mortals and deities he had to bring to the Underworld and the other troubles that were happening in the human world and Olympus. If he didn’t leave now, he might face the wrath of Namjoon or Thanatos, neither of which would end well.

He decided to be selfish for once and indulge in the quiet moment. Your presence was having an effect on him already.

He wanted to stay with you.

The string in his heart pulled tighter.

© 2021 by cherryyjjk ;; all writings and other content on this blog are my intellectual property. you may not reuse, reprint, translate, repost, steal, or any other type of stealing of my works.

#bts x reader #jin x reader #hades x reader #bts angst #bts fluff #bts imagines #greek god au #hades!jin #persephone! reader #bts fic #bts #jin fic #jin imagine #good god the last senTENCE #yall are in for a tRE A T #SHORTER VERSION #bts fanfic #bts scenario #my writing

[nobloodneeded]

I started listening to Rosemary Clooney, Frank Sinatra, and my favorite Dean Martin tonight and boy did my heart get real tender. Romance just walloped me right in the gut.

A weakness of mine is Dean Martin’s song “Sway” in particular. I remember I sang it at karaoke once and the people at the bar started slow dancing and it was so nice.

I miss that, I miss romance. I miss dancing. That song is instills such an immediate yearning in me. It makes me want to slow dance at two in the morning in the kitchen, twirling someone and holding them close, their back to my front. I want to kiss their cheek while dancing, feel their heat against me.

Feelings and desires sort of just spiraled from there. 

I miss kissing the most. Real bad. I miss kissing for the sake of kissing, the pleasure of it - and only it. I’ve complained before how aggravating it was for me - before officially realizing my demi and sapphic-leaning sexuality - that kissing with my cishet male partners was always always for the sake of foreplay. It was a chore, routine. There was passion, sure, but knowing that it always led to sex bummed me out and took me away from it. 

I could kiss for hours, though. Sex is all well and good, I like it just fine - sometimes even insatiably - but it’s all about the kissing for me. 

I miss all of the different kinds and every aspect of it.

I miss that heart stutter when a person looks at my lips and back at my eyes. I miss the head lean, that offer that races my heart before I gladly accept. I miss the hesitant stroke of lips with that first chaste kiss. I miss the small sounds of compliance as it continues. I miss the feel of hands through my hair, pressure at the back of my head goading me on that I eagerly mirror. I miss stroking my thumb across a soft cheek and feeling the same against mine. I miss feeling a tongue working against mine. I miss that abandonment when everything else in the world goes blank except for the lips directly against mine, the sound of a tv droning barely above the sound of lips and rustle of clothing. I miss that breathy laugh that escapes sometimes when we take a minute to catch our breath. I miss exploring a person’s face, neck, body with my mouth. I definitely miss my neck being kissed, just one makes my mouth go dry and my body shudder. I miss my hands holding and massaging that person above me, below me, stroking gently and digging in firmly. I miss those kisses that leave me breathless and those kisses at the threshold of the door just to say goodbye and thank you. I miss those casual kisses in passing, the ones against my lips or cheek, the ones I get to place the same way. 

It’s been almost a year since I left my ex-husband, but honestly it’s probably been at least four years since I’ve felt anything like that. Realistically, I could go out and get it. Sometimes I’m inclined to. There is something that holds me back - I know what it is and I’m fine with it - I’m ultimately content to continue as I am. Sort of. 

I think I’ve grown a bit comfortable with my unrequited pining and part solitude. In my time alone, I’ve officially realized who I am and what I want - and it’s been really wonderful; content. My whole life I had tried to force myself into boxes I didn’t even realize were wrong. I figured I was a circle, when in reality I had been a triangle. All the clues were there, I just figured everyone went through what I did and I would grow out of - or rather into - my box. I bent my edges to fit into that circle and was uncomfortable and wrong the whole time without truly knowing.

I’m non-binary trans-masc. Neither and both. Too female, and proud, to be male; far too male to be female. I saw a post that fits me well in that regard: a male character written by a woman. 

I’m queer/”sapphic” and always have been. For seventeen years, I presumed I was straight. Then I thought I was bisexual because of my attraction to men and women. I realize my “attraction” to men was in fact my confusion of gender envy, wanting to BE them not be WITH them, and I have never actually been attracted to men. I remember like three years ago I saw a post that said “some lesbians don’t have a problem with dick, they have a problem with the men attached” and I went “ha ha, same!” and then realized what that might mean and being married to a man I was like “ope we’re just going to tuck that away and not reflect on that for awhile.” But it was true.

I’m ethically non-monogamous. Always have been, however my respect and loyalty within a committed relationship I have always been monogamous, despite it not being my actual mentality around dating. I’m too affectionate, too interested in what the world and its people have to offer. I understand that I cannot be one person’s world, nor should I, and similarly one person should not be my all - romantically or platonically. 

From this point forward, I’m probably only ever going to casually date people. Especially given that I am demisexual - if my partner is allo, I don’t want to “limit” them or “force” myself, and if my partner is ace I would not expect or have them go out of their comfort for me, either. I am incredibly romantic and put sincerity and my whole heart into pretty much every relationship I am in and will continue to - I do still want that “special” feeling with someone, multiple someones if that happens to come to pass, though it is not my intention to seek it. If it happens, it happens, if it doesn’t, it doesn’t. 

Oof, i derailed my own tender-hearted post. Back to the matter at hand, I’m whiny and sad and miss kisses because damn it, I am far too good of a kisser to have gone unkissed for this long lmao. 

#personal

[nitrateglow]

My god-tier Audrey Hepburn movies

I just realized I’ve technically seen all of Audrey Hepburn’s movies-- or rather, all the movies in which she was given star billing.

So, because I’m bored, here’s a list of my top ten personal favorites of her films. The criteria is simple: 1) she had to have starred in it, so nothing from her pre-Roman Holiday career counts nor does 1989′s Always, and 2) this is based on my level of enjoyment of the movie in question.

1. Wait Until Dark

Wait Until Dark possesses many merits, but Hepburn is one of its key strengths. For me, the most interesting performances are the ones able to balance seemingly opposing elements of the character in question. Here, Hepburn balances vulnerability with inner strength, insecurity and terror with courage, angry frustration with budding confidence. She makes her character seem like such a real, vital presence, like someone you would know. Also, having someone as sweet as Hepburn as the target for the cruel mind games and brutal violence of the villains makes the horror all the more terrifying.

Beyond her performance, this movie feels like it was tailor-designed to appeal to me: an intelligent and formidable villain, the everyday setting juxtaposed with a menacing atmosphere, scary scenes that don’t rely on gore, eccentric criminals, dark humor, a tight script without an ounce of fat on it. But you’ve heard me go on, so I’ll leave it there.

2. Charade

Charade is a prime example of how to mix suspense and comedy. The mystery at the heart of the movie is very clever, with twists and turns every other moment, constantly keeping the audience on their toes. Best of all, the film holds up after repeat viewings because of the delicious chemistry between Hepburn and Cary Grant, and the witty screenplay, which has such an elegant and tight structure that I seethe with envy as a writer every time I revisit this glorious thriller.

As in Wait Until Dark, Hepburn is concerned for her life as she’s terrorized by criminals, only here, they’re mostly more humorous in nature, sometimes even lovable (except Scobie, he can just jump off a cliff). She mainly gets to exercise her comedic chops, throwing off quips, sarcastic lines, and screwball banter with wonderful finesse. It makes me sad she never made more films with Cary Grant-- the two have a spark that belies the large age gap between them.

3. Roman Holiday

The character-building, naturalistic performances, and humor make Roman Holiday one of the best examples of romantic comedy. The film has both a gentle touch and a grounded maturity that make it more than just a remix of the earlier and quite similar screwball comedy It Happened One Night. To get a bit literary and pretentious, it reminds me a bit of Romeo and Juliet-- not because of the romance, but in how the movie starts as a standard screwball comedy and ends on a lyrical, wistful note you might not have expected.

Even though this was her first lead role in a feature film, I think Hepburn’s performance as Ann remains one of her strongest. Ann feels regal and dignified while also possessing the naivete and restlessness of a teenager on the brink of adulthood. It’s as fabulous a star-establishing movie as anyone could want.

4. How to Steal a Million

How to Steal a Million is pure fun. Not a moment of this caper comedy is to be taken seriously (which makes it the perfect quarantine movie if you need something to de-stress with). I always regard this movie as Charade’s even frothier spiritual successor: both films are playful, stylish, funny, and packed with romantic banter, plot twists, and colorful 1960s fashions. The main difference is that in this one, there’s no mortal threat involved and the humor gets a little more risque though not crass.

Also, how nice is it for Hepburn to be paired with a leading man closer to her age? Peter O’Toole was only three years younger than Hepburn when this was filmed. The two of them have glorious, cute chemistry.

5. The Nun’s Story

I hate the question of “objective best” anything, but if you put a gun to my head, I would say The Nun’s Story is features Hepburn’s most impressive work as an actress. For those who accuse Hepburn of being too affected, of being a mere clothes’ horse, here she is bare-faced, dressed in a nun’s habit, and playing a very reserved character whose dilemmas are largely internal. She plays her character’s spiritual conflict with an understatement that could only be considered skillful.

The film itself will likely be seen as “too slow” by most and there are a few colonial elements towards the Congo section that date it, but the film’s strengths, both from Hepburn’s performance and the mature way it presents its individual versus the system story, give it classic status. Few movies regarding organized religion are this balanced and lacking in propaganda, either for or against it.

6. Breakfast at Tiffany’s

While still Hepburn’s most iconic role, Breakfast at Tiffany’s gets called “overrated” a lot these days and fans of the original Truman Capote novella routinely dog it for making heavy changes to the source material. There’s also the, you know, gross yellowface a la Mickey Rooney that deflates every scene in which he appears. However, is the move bad? NO. It juggles zany comedy, tender romance, and rather heavy drama too well for me to consign it to the “overrated” bin. Blake Edwards was a fine director and this movie is one of his best.

And Hepburn gives a damn good performance as Holly Golightly, even if she is not the character envisioned by Capote. This character could easily be unlikable if played the wrong way-- she’s a “phony,” rather pathetic, and self-loathing despite her wit and charm. But rather than coming off as an unbearable loser, Hepburn’s Holly is a realistic, relatable loser we all love in spite of her own delusions and lashing out. She might even hit too close to home (or maybe that’s just me).

7. Funny Face

Funny Face took a few viewings to grow on me. It was one of the first Hepburn movies I ever saw (that was back in high school) and I was initially excited because it was directed by Stanley Donen who co-directed Singin’ in the Rain with Gene Kelly, a long-time favorite of mine. I expected this movie to be just as sublime and was disappointed when it didn’t hit that high mark.

Rewatching it later, I now find it very charming. It’s incredibly upbeat and relaxing, the sort of old-school movie musical that doesn’t get made anymore. Hepburn’s singing is a bit rough in the bigger numbers, but she is very sweet, a damn good dancer, and quite attractive to the point where she just takes my breath away. Fred Astaire and Kay Thompson are also wonderful and get a lot of great moments that show off their talent.

8. My Fair Lady

When considering what would go on this list, I was honestly shocked to realize how much I like this movie. I’m in the camp that considers Hepburn miscast, I find George Cukor’s direction rather stiff, and I really don’t like how the ending is changed from the original play. In spite of all this, I still really enjoy this movie for the songs, costumes, and what remains of Shaw’s brilliant satire on class and gender relations. Those three hours go by and the movie never outstays its welcome.

While I think Hepburn wasn’t the number one best choice for the part (I don’t really buy her as a crass flower girl in the beginning), she isn’t a disaster by any means. She’s still charming and sympathetic, and once she makes her transformation, you have to wonder how Higgins held it together, she’s so gorgeous. And I love the relish with which she approaches the “Just you Wait” song or the way she delivers the “move your bloomin’ arse” line at the races.

9. Sabrina

I think producers figured because of the fairy tale appeal of Roman Holiday, Hepburn would be perfect for this modern take on Cinderella, set in 1950s New York. Just like in Roman Holiday, Hepburn gets to undergo dramatic character development and show her comedic skills. It’s a cute movie, with a very charming William Holden and gorgeous black-and-white cinematography. It’s also shockingly uncynical for a Billy Wilder project.

About the closest thing this movie has to a flaw is Humphrey Bogart as Linus, the guy who Sabrina chooses in the end. This is a role Cary Grant could have played in his sleep, but Bogart clearly is not enjoying himself in some scenes. However, he isn’t movie-breakingly bad by any means. His character is meant to be a hidden softie and far more dependable than his handsomer brother, so I can buy that Sabrina would warm to him in the end.

10. They All Laughed

People tend to argue what the last “worthwhile” Hepburn movie is. Most argue it’s 1976′s Robin and Marian, while I’ve seen some go as far back as How to Steal a Million in 1966. They All Laughed, a Peter Bogdonavich comedy from 1981, gets my vote. This is a love letter to screwball comedies much like Bogdonavich’s 1972 classic What’s Up Doc, only with a far more melancholy edge.

Hepburn does not become a major presence in the movie until nearly halfway through. However, she approaches her role with a mature dignity that makes me wish she’d done more work along this line towards the end of her career. Her character comes off as an older, sadder Princess Ann from Roman Holiday. This makes the movie sound morose, but it isn’t: it ends with life going on and the characters accepting that with grace.

#lists lists lists #charade #roman holiday #how to steal a million #the nun's story #breakfast at tiffany's #funny face #my fair lady #sabrina #they all laughed #audrey hepburn #thoughts #wait until dark #old hollywood #i'll probably make more lists like these with other actors i like #so expect a buster post guys

[akechicrimes]

it does matter, actually, that goro akechi is a minor. not because this somehow exonerates him morally, or because this somehow makes him not responsible for his actions, but because persona 5 is invested in children as a source of hope for a better future. 

once i saw someone complain that people will defend akechi’s murders on the grounds that he’s a child/minor and how they felt that this doesnt excuse multiple counts of murder. and i was like, ok, well, im not sure anyone was excusing him, but alright, sure. and i’ve seen a few rebuttals to that, one of which is that shido and the other adults in akechi’s life had a responsibility to support akechi in such a way that it didn’t come to murder, and of course it’s on shido to just not be a massive dick who endorses fascism and murders in the first place. and i was like ok, well, this seems a little patronizing and dismissive of akechi’s agency and autonomy, but alright, sure.

in a very roundabout way of explaining my first two sentences, there’s one thing that bothers me lately, and it’s selim bradley from fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood. 

for those of us not familiar with fma:b, selim, or pride, is the oldest homunculus/artificial human in the show and the second-oldest villain, despite the fact that he looks about eight years old. of the seven homunculus named after deadly sins, selim/pride is the only one to survive the show--with an asterisk, which is that selim gets the “homunculus” part of him erased by the end of the show. with the “pride” aspect of him gone, selim is mortal, without any special powers, without memories of any of his amoral acts, and is generally just a happy, normal child.

which is a weird exception to fma:b’s general rule in which every other homunculus dies. even fan favorites like greed and envy don’t live, despite the fact that greed and envy are far more sympathetic as characters. selim kills multiple people on-screen, shows zero remorse whatsoever, and is an active helper in all the other mass-murders that the homunculi engineer. selim’s not an innocent in any way. also, he’s like, 200 years old? 300? he’s very old. biologically, mentally, emotionally, selim is not a child.

but fma:b goes out of its way to make sure that selim gets a second chance at a future, just because his body looks like a child’s. cut another way, he gets an exception from a large number of terrible crimes, up to an including participation in genocide, just because he looks like a child. 

fma:b reminded me that, outside of tumblr’s purity politics over children, and especially so in japan, children are socially constructed in a very specific way, beyond biological age and legal majority cutoffs. 

yes, biological age is a thing. yes, legal majority is a thing. i’m not saying that being a child isn’t a biological thing--it is, obviously. but what i’m saying is that there’s a difference between, say, the sex assigned to you at birth and your gender presentation, to use an analogy. there is a such thing as biological age, but the societal status of being a child of a related but separate thing. and this status of being considered a child is a societal construct.

the social construction goes like this, insofar as i’m aware: children should be good and silent and dutiful and work hard and go to school and listen to their elders, and their elders in turn should do everything they can to guide the children to the right path and build a good society for these children to inherit. (if we want more details on this, please see the entire history of filial piety in asia.)

so that’s a social contract right there baked into the social construct of childhood: children don’t have power, but adults have an obligation to make sure they don’t need power, and to make sure that the future and their children’s futures look bright. 

children represent the future, essentially. they’re the next generation. they’re simultaneously without legal rights as adults and in a very vulnerable position, for sure, but they’re also simultaneously considered the country’s most precious capital: quite literally the people who will inherit and lead the country next.

which, personally, i think puts a whole new spin on the phantom thieves in general. they’re not just kids who’re being rowdy or kids telling abusive shitty adults theyre being abusive and shitty--or, they’re kids doing those things, but they’re not just kids doing those things. they’re kids who’ve been specifically let down by adults who did not fulfill their social obligation to them. they’re kids who’ve been abandoned and neglected by the very adults who should have been paving the way forward for them, as society has asked those adults to do, because those adults have instead chosen to line their own pockets and cover their own asses. 

so the kids said: alright, well, then i’ll take power for myself, and i’ll make my own future. (which is where we get a lot of those promo slogans of “steal back your future” and junk like that.)

sae’s comments about how adults should do their part to fix the world for the kids is just a resolidifying of the way the world “should” work, and we could talk about her comments on the matter, but actually i wanna talk about yoshida.

i especially want to talk about yoshida because yoshida and shido are the two politicians we see the most of, and both of them spend a lot of time reciting political rhetoric to speak to the hearts of the general japanese populace. we all know the way that shido thinks of japan: a large vehicle that one person is in control of, and the masses just compose the throne upon which the ruler sits.

we also already know that yoshida’s a Real G, but it’s worth really close-reading some of his lines. he speaks a lot about apathy, the lack of caring for each other in society--a general willingness to disregard your fellow man, to not uphold one’s social obligation to each other. but he also talks a lot about the “youth”--which is not really uncommon for a politician, obviously, since politicians are always talking about “the children” and “the kids” and “the next generation” and “those damn millennials” and all that shit. 

yoshida instead gives us these fun lines:

A world where the young exist only to be exploited... is a world that must be changed!

And while our society appears to be prosperous, many of our young people are quietly suffering. They lack jobs, security, savings... The next generation will lead us into the future and yet they have no plan for how to arrive there.

Passing on the societal ills we have created to the next generation... is not right!

...the current administration refuses to discuss their plans for the future... Can we really accept such an utter lack of transparency?!

If you make a promise, you must keep it. If you make a mistake, you must atone for it. These are basic human principles that we have all learned from the youngest of ages... 

yoshida’s entire thing about how the adults have let the children down isn’t just him saying shit--he’s commenting directly on the fact that the social contract has been broken, and he’s putting the blame on the administration for not upholding their responsibility to secure a future for the children, especially since the children are the future of the country. 

this is partly why he doesn’t blame the phantom thieves for acting the way that they do; rather, he seems them as a logical reaction to the injustice that’s occurred as a result of the society that the adults have left for them:

I bet [the Phantom Thieves] are a group of young people. Young people who have experienced cruelty and injustice... They bravely face the societal ills that plague our world without thinking of the consequences.

(i think also in part he admires the fact that they’re anonymous and don’t benefit personally from their actions, which is exactly the opposite of what he did as a young politician. he also doesn’t throw the real embezzlement culprit under the bus to exonerate himself presumably for the same principle of desiring selfless public service instead of personal gain.)

in both the early parts of the s link and later on when yoshida starts talking with matsushita more extensively, akira’s important because he’s young--he represents the young demographic that yoshida and matsushita are discussing the future of. akira demonstrating support for yoshida in a public way means a lot because he’s a minor. matsushita asks akira for his opinions on the phantom thieves and other issues because akira is a minor. akira’s opinion is supposed to be heard and valued by adults, who should take his opinions into consideration and do their best to not let him down. 

this is tied into the general thread of yoshida being a person who was self-admittedly just as corrupt as everyone else, who was blinded by glamor and fame and money, who got caught up in political scandal. yoshida’s general acceptance of his mistakes as a human being and politician ties over to his general belief that it’s not that the youth are rebellious no-good teens, but that the youth have been let down by politicians like who he used to be. he blames himself, and because he is not too different from the rest of the older generation and politicians in general, he implicates a lot of the older generation and politicians as also blame-worthy.

his quest for redemption and atonement dovetails neatly with his views on the broken societal contract. taken together, yoshida’s s link implies to us the idea that the entire general older generation in japan more or less owes the children of japan a formal apology, and the older generation better get on their redemption arc and start being the vanguard of the change for children:

The reason [the Phantom Thieves are] causing a stir is because they are addressing the world’s problems. Setting aside whether their actions are right or wrong... there is one thing I can safely say about the Phantom Thieves. A belief with conviction... has the ability to move a person’s heart.

I’m sure you are all aware that I am “No-Good Tora,” the one accused of embezzlement. However, because I was accused like that, I was able to understand the suffering of the weak. Why am I in politics? In the past, it was merely for personal gain. But why do the Phantom Thieves continue to change hearts? I believe they do it for the world and its people. And in choosing to do justice for others, they had no choice but to disguise themselves. No matter what the world says, I fully support them. 

I’m just an average citizen. However, I will continue to voice my beliefs. I may not be able to become a Diet member this election... and I may not be able to effect change during my lifetime... but I’ve made my peace with that. I will be happy as long as I can be a meaningful stepping stone for the future of our youth!

okay. so that was a lot of close reading about yoshida. why did we do this exercise, tumblr user akechicrimes. 

there’s two takeaways from this. the first is the one that yoshida has already talked about extensively, which is that the phantom thieves are just but not because Fuck Cops and Fuck Capitalism and Fuck Anime Jeff Bezos. the phantom thieves are just because the people who are supposed to be upholding society aren’t doing their fucking jobs. the phantom thieves are specifically saying: we’ve been let down by society, so apparently we have to do everything our goddamn selves around here.

(which also ties in neatly to the general “fuck cops” vibe of persona 5 which, i would like to say, is very specifically “the cops are not doing their jobs.” the TV station scene where akira speaks back to akechi is, if i’m remembering this right, maybe the ONLY time we really hear “akira’s” opinion on the morality of his own activities, which is fascinating because he just does these things without ever justifying himself to the player--anyway, his three options are: (1) They’re justice itself, (2) They’re necessary, and (3) They do more than the cops. so akira can’t ever at any point say that the phantom thieves are bad, but his most interesting and detailed answer is to point out that the cops aren’t doing what they’re supposed to do, so who can really blame the phantom thieves for doing what the cops aren’t?)

the second takeaway is that yes, goro akechi does get more leniency because he’s a minor. 

yes. seriously. this isn’t a matter of excusing what he did, or downplaying the fact that he committing murder. i’m not saying that he wasn’t old enough to make decisions (although i would never say that he was old enough to make decisions, because he was 14/15 when he got wrapped up in shido’s conspiracy). i’m also not saying that akechi, somehow for some reason, didn’t volunteer himself willingly, because all the evidence points to the fact that he did (although of course “free will” is also highly circumspect considering his living conditions at the time and the fact that shido makes it clear that he was able to manipulate akechi without ever infringing on akechi’s sense of autonomy). i’m not even saying that akechi was driven to the point of murder and had no other choice (although i think that might also be true as well).

what i am saying is that under the construction of childhood as japan’s future and japan’s hope, akechi is considered a valuable member of society, and is therefore worth saving.

or at least he should be.

akechi says that he’s an unwanted child, but “unwanted child,” according to yoshida’s rhetoric (and a lot of japan’s general rhetoric of children as hope for the future) is an oxymoron. (or at least it would be an oxymoron if japan weren’t so fucking hypocritical.) you can’t not want the future of the country. you can’t not want hope for a good future. the very idea that a child could be not wanted or not valuable doesn’t make any sense, because children are the future--in some ways, whether you like it or not, that child is going to inherit the earth when you’re dead.

the kind of person who’d not want those things is--well, shido. (this is why i used yoshida; yoshida and shido are two polar opposite politicians.) shido quite literally does not want a good future for anyone in the country and quite literally does not want akechi and quite literally does not see akechi, one of the very young-person citizens that shido is supposed to be serving, as useful or valuable in any way unless akechi is directly promoting shido’s fame and popularity. shido being akechi’s father is just a very neat and nice way of literalizing the ways that shido, as an adult, has let down akechi as a child--the ways that shido quite literally owed akechi something to make akechi’s life and future better, and instead did everything awful.

there should not ever be a thing like “unwanted child.” that in and of itself, from the start of akechi’s life, was nonsensical. and to the extent that shido being akechi’s father is allegorical of the ways that shido is a terrible patriarch for japan, i would say that akechi, as an unwanted foster child, is just another allegory for the ways that children nowadays are treated as misbehaving, lazy good-for-nothings who have to work themselves into the dirt to be given half the salary and half the praise. akechi, as an unwanted child, is just the personification and representative of an apparently unwanted generation. 

what i’m getting at is that akechi’s status as a minor (and yes he’s a minor even if he’s eighteen; age of majority in japan is twenty)--akechi’s status as a minor is a critical part of why akechi gets a shot at a redemption arc. so yes, actually, the other villains or palace-rulers don’t get redemption arcs because they are adults, who had a societal obligation to do better by their peers and by the children of japan. yes, actually, akechi’s informal “trial” in the hands of fandom is to be tried as a minor and not as an adult. yes, i know kamoshida didn’t kill anyone and akechi’s literal crimes are more morally repugnant, but yes, unfortunately, being a minor does actually exonerate him on the morality spectrum to a degree. 

being a child matters in the larger scheme of persona 5′s logic of who owes who, who’s responsible for who, and why we should not be apathetic. adults owe children a better future. adults have been letting children down. adults owe every single phantom thief, including akechi, an apology, a better future, and health and happiness; and they owe that to japan’s future not as a matter of exchange or morals, but simple social obligation. adults are supposed to take care of the kids--full stop. 

”okay but @ tumblr user akechicrimes?? akechi KILLED people.”

yeah, i know. i said “being a minor does actually exonerate him on the morality spectrum to a degree.” 

what degree? no idea. that’s up to you to decide. if you want to play in the black-grey-white morality scale that only goes two ways, you’re welcome to continue to ask “what degree.” we can argue that being a minor somehow reels akechi back from the “black” end of the spectrum into the “grey” or “white” parts. 

but (if i may be permitted to go completely off the shits into things that might make people pissed off at me for saying) i implore you to consider that this two-way scale of morality is not the line of thought that persona 5 is pursuing. 

this, again, ties back into the social construction of a child. i’ve said “a child is representative of the country’s future” so many times i think it’s lost meaning, so let me dice it a different way: a child is socially constructed as representative of potential and hope. a child is socially constructed as the capacity for things to get better. in persona terms, a child is the fool at the start of their journey, all futures contained in one present, a vast multitude of could-be’s. 

for a game very concerned with japan’s general societal ruin, children are not just in the position of having been let down by adults, but are--as the phantom thieves demonstrate--representative of better futures regardless of how terrible circumstances look in the current day. they are a source of believing one day this sad, depressing story might actually end with “and then they lived happily ever after.”

if i may go even more completely off the shits, take a look at this heckler from yoshida’s s link, which is the one that akira speaks back to in the middle of yoshida’s speech:

...I’ve been wrong this whole time. Even though someone has failed in the past, it doesn’t mean that person can’t try again.

this is to say, redemption arcs insofar as persona 5 (and also persona 5 royal, i think) is concerned is not a question of necessarily addressing the wrongs that have occurred. yoshida sets the bar pretty high in that yoshida does not ask for forgiveness for what he’s done, and instead simply accepts his actions and their consequences without attempting to lessen the blow. he embraces what he’s done in all its awfulness. 

but because akechi is a a minor, and because akechi as a minor is getting wrapped up in persona 5′s train of thought about kids as the hopeful futures of japan, akechi is at the very least owed a chance to do better. as a minor, japan is societally contracte to give him the space to have the potential to be better and do better. nobody is obligated to forgive him, and indeed neither royal nor akechi ever seem to entertain this as a valid possibility. forgive, forget, reconciliation, retribution, and resolution seem to be all off the table, as if the very idea would minimize haru or futaba’s losses. the very conceit of the dreamworld in P5R wants to shoot down the very idea that the past can ever, to any degree, be fixed, remedied, or even emotionally resolved. akechi will have always killed wakaba and okumura and this fact will always be awful--full stop.

nevertheless, despite the fact that the past cannot be changed, akechi is still a minor. rather than attempting to resolve the issues of the past, akechi is still owed the space to become a beacon of potential change for the better in the future--which is also known as hope. 

i’ve said this in other posts elsewhere, but persona games are like, obsessed with hope. they fucking adore that shit. why not? even in difficult times, even when things are terrible and you’re going through misery, if you at least have hope that one day things will be better, that life will change, that the new generation will step up to the plate and make the story have a happy ending, pain becomes easier to bear. and why not? persona games cover a breadth of difficult topics. 

especially in a game like P5, which talks at length about modern day japan’s ailments, what good is it if the player walks away with a defeatist attitude that the future will be terrible? 

if reality is malleable like morgana says, isn’t the first step to have hope that this is true?

this post has gone on a lot longer than i thought it would. but in any event. that’s why it is valid to say that akechi being a minor “exonerates” him to a degree. 

also selim bradley lives because fma:b concurs that children are a hope for a better future and fma:b is particularly invested in this line of thought because it’s a story about edward transitioning from a child to a young adult who is learning about the ways that the world works and is also still just childlike enough to propose that the world shouldn’t have to work in the bloody, awful way that it does. selim is representative that all children should be given as many chances as possible to do and be better because they are representative of potential. if that wasn’t clear. lmao.

#meta #mine

[haledamage]

OC Questionnaire

I was tagged by @actualanxiousswampwitch and not so much tagged as challenged by @queen-scribbles​ :P 

I am tagging/challenging you both back if you have more OCs you want to talk about, plus anyone else who has an OC you want to talk about! really, I want to know about your muses, please share them with me <3

I decided to go with Lexi from Mind Blind because she’s currently my most vocal muse, as well as Ari because I realized I’ve never done one of these for her? not sure how that happened

Lexi Wiseman

GENERAL

name: Alexandria Jane Wiseman

alias(es): Lexi, Lex, Button, Cadet Wiseman

gender: cis female

age: 20

place of birth: Chicago, Illinois

spoken languages: English, sarcasm, probably some coding language? took Spanish and German in high school, but really only remembers how to count to ten and ask where the library is

sexual orientation: bi bi bi

occupation: student at Unity’s Aeon Academy

APPEARANCE

eye colour: hazel

hair colour: brown

height: 5′8”

scars: not any major ones? She scars really easy, so even little things like paper cuts leave a scar, but except for things like that and old scars from scraped knees and elbows as a kid, Lexi doesn’t really have any scars worth mentioning. (or as Lex would say, “my scars are all mental ;)”)

burns: not really many burn scars either. a small and perfectly circular one on the inside of her right ring finger (accidentally bumped into the lit end of a cigarette), a faded line on her right calf from grazing the exhaust pipe of a motorcycle, but that’s really it

overweight: No

underweight: No

FAVOURITE

colour: green, especially darker ones like hunter green or forest green

music genre: loves music, all kinds. most of the covers she does are older pop songs, the songs that have made it into the collective consciousness, but she will listen to or sing anything :)

movie genre: action. loves a superhero movie and not afraid to admit it.

tv show: don’t think she’s much of a tv person. more likely listens to podcasts or watches twitch streams/youtube shows. I feel like she’d be a big Buzzfeed Unsolved fan. occasionally enjoys a cooking competition show like Chopped or Iron Chef, something you can enjoy without having to commit to it. Watches them with Nick because his commentary is the best part.

pastime: music (plays guitar and piano/keyboard, and knows her way around a sampler/MIDI controller), video games (especially fps, co-op or team-based online games preferred)

food: anything Nick cooks, but especially cinnamon pumpkin cookies

drink: cherry coke, sweet iced tea, iced white mocha

book: she’s not a really big reader (not that she doesn’t enjoy it, she just has other ways she’d rather spend her time), but she’ll read just about anything on the occasion she has time to. adventure, romance, mystery, poetry, whatever. really enjoys sci-fi especially, and comic books!

HAVE THEY

passed university: she didn’t go to college per se, since Aeon isn’t technically a college so much as a very particular and multi-year job training course, but she took a few courses at the local community college. Computer programming, music theory, whatever struck her fancy. Probably found something weird that she’ll never need in real life just for the hell of it.

had sex: no

had sex in public: no

gotten pregnant: no

kissed a boy: yes

kissed a girl: yes

gotten tattoos: no, but she wants one. eventually. once she settles on a design

had a broken heart: sure, in lots of different ways. the situation with her mom could certainly be considered heart-breaking...

been in love: she would deny it if you asked her, but yes. Very yes.

stayed up for longer than 24 hours: sure, yeah, why not? sleep is overrated anyway

ARE THEY

a virgin: yes. look, when you live with your brother who is a mind-reader and you have literally no way to stop loudly projecting your thoughts, sex is a tricky and awkward situation. better to just avoid it until someone comes along that’s worth it.

a cuddler: yes, very much so. Maybe a little touch-starved, despite Nick and Sally’s efforts. Someone please give her a hug.

a kisser: sometimes

scared easily: startles easily, but doesn’t actually frighten easily

jealous easily: not really. envy, on the other hand...

trustworthy: yes, but she’ll be the first to tell you not to tell her any secrets. She can’t promise what people can hear from her thoughts

dominant: not really. Can be assertive, but prefers to kind of go with the flow

submissive: not really submissive either, though maybe leans more toward it than toward dominant

in love: with her brother’s best friend. Has been for years now, expects she will be for the foreseeable future. She accepts that she will spend her life pining from afar. It’s not like Gray could ever feel the same, right?

single: yep

RANDOM QUESTIONS

have they harmed themselves: nope

thought of suicide: I don’t think so

attempted suicide: no

Wanted to kill someone: no

rode a horse: nope

have / had a job: her situation makes it a little difficult to work normal jobs. I would imagine she makes money through patreon with her music, and she will eventually have a job at Unity as a MIV, once she finishes at Aeon

have any fears: loss of control (again), not being good enough, abandonment, rejection (specifically being rejected for things she can’t change; she’s fine if people don’t like her for her personality, some people just have bad taste)

FAMILY

sibling(s): older brother Nick, relationship status: besties against all odds

Parents: John and Hope Wiseman, relationship status: fucking complicated

children: none, she is baby

pets: none

---

Aurienne the Sparrow

GENERAL

name: Aurienne the Sparrow. She had a last name once, but she doesn’t remember it.

alias(es): Ari, Little Bird, The Sparrow Queen

gender: nonbinary female/demigirl

age: 23

place of birth: Andoran, she assumes. It’s the first place she remembers living, at the very least.

spoken languages: Common, Elvish, a little Celestial thanks to her sister

sexual orientation: bisexual

occupation: Queen of the Stolen Lands, somehow

APPEARANCE

eye colour: light gray

hair colour: black

height: 5′10”

scars: a thin but deep and ragged scar across her throat that she normally keeps covered by a scarf or choker or high collar; arrow puncture in her left shoulder; long line on her inner right thigh from a greatsword that almost cut her leg off entirely; a few other minor ones

burns: a few on her fingertips from accidents with her flaming crossbow

overweight: No

underweight: No

FAVOURITE

colour: gold

music genre: punk and all its subgenres :)

movie genre: she loves a musical, all musicals

tv show: dramas and monster of the week shows. wants a tv show that’ll make her cry

pastime: music (when she’s feeling confident enough to give it a try again, which is… a work in progress), reading, silly but harmless pranks. Loves to meditate a surprising amount, just sit in silent contemplation.

food: samosas, lemon macarons

drink: matcha latte with white chocolate syrup

book: has a deep and unending love of poetry

HAVE THEY

passed university: nope, didn’t go to school

had sex: yes

had sex in public: …...perhaps

gotten pregnant: nope

kissed a boy: yes

kissed a girl: yes

gotten tattoos: yes, seven sparrows down her spine. recently, the one on the back of her neck got a tiny little crown over its head :)

had a broken heart: yes

been in love: yes

stayed up for longer than 24 hours: yes, but rarely

ARE THEY

a virgin: nope

a cuddler: sort of? I think she wants to be, but is scared to let herself be vulnerable like that. Will happily cuddle with anyone who initiates, though

a kisser: not really, unless she’s in a mood

scared easily: yes, but hides it well

jealous easily: nope

trustworthy: very

dominant: not really. Prefers to let others take the reins (probably not the best trait for a queen, but as she is quick to tell people, being in charge was never her idea)

submissive: most of the time. Probably a big part of why she and Tristian took so long to get together...

in love: yes, with a literal angel

single: she’s not sure??? like, they haven’t really made anything official yet, but no one would ever look at the two of them together and not think they’re a couple. they should probably have a talk about that soon

RANDOM QUESTIONS

have they harmed themselves: no

thought of suicide: yes

attempted suicide: no

Wanted to kill someone: yes

rode a horse: yes

have / had a job: former mercenary/adventurer, former baroness, currently queen of the Stolen Lands? She’s still not entirely sure how that happened

have any fears: helplessness, losing those she loves, being silenced (again)

FAMILY

sibling(s): twin sister, Auriel the Dove

parents: both deceased (I should probably name them at some point…)

children: none. Maybe someday...

pets: an owlcat named Headchomper, a red panda named Ember, an orange tabby cat named Tiger, a giant black wolf named Baron who is technically her sister’s animal companion and also technically her nephew

#lexi wiseman #aurienne the sparrow #anytime I make lexi in a picrew I put a jacket or overshirt or hoodie on her that she definitely stole #and ari is just black tank top + scarf every time #almost gave lexi a cat but I'm not entirely sure if she and nick are cat people. but like? it's in my head now. it has a name and everything #we'll see

[segenassefa]

2: On Consumerism, Fighting Demons, and Societies Inevitable Collapse

Quarantine has been lowkey surreal. My constant complaint of never having enough time to do all the things I want/should be doing has now left me bored in the house, bored in the house, bored with nothing but time to get said things done. However, it is a dual edged sword - with the collapse and subsequent reformation of civil society outside my doors, it leaves me wondering – as well as a lot of other people – in the words of Miss Juicy…what the hell we gone do now?

Nearing the end of the first leg of my university career, I should be thinking about getting ready to transition to the next logical stages of adulthood - saving for an apartment, applying for permanent residency, as well as graduate schools and part time jobs. Yet, I’m worried about if these things will even be a possibility within the next month, six months, or even the next year.

On top of ALL of that, the recent BLM protests and the way that people (read: white people, Latinxs, Black men, homo/transphobes, etc.) have shown their asses the past few months is beyond mortifying - especially regarding the treatment of black women and how our value as individuals as well as a collective to society is really perceived.* This is not to downplay the murder of numerous black men in society, BUT who the fuck is riding for black women aside from other black women? And not just the ones who find attractive, or are racially ambiguous, or the ones you feel as if you get “guilted” into supporting and demanding justice for, I mean each and every black woman. I’m just saying, it gets pretty disheartening to feel like the legwork of the revolution is on the back of one category of people, and that your value to society is measured by the amount of emotional labour you’re ready to do for others, or how fat your ass is (but I digress…).

I feel like most people have used material things as coping mechanisms instead of actually facing their feelings and dealing with the things that bother them. Just think of the number of packages that have arrived on your doorstep the past few months. Breaking the glossy seal of packing tape is similar to therapy, until all the boxes are open, and you start feeling like shit again. And now, more than ever, there’s a lot to be bothered about. Western society has dedicated phrases based on the phenomenon of substituting true self-work with figurative emotional bandages (Phrases like comfort eating and retail therapy come to mind).

It’s nice to think that we – the people entering their adolescent and young adult years – will be the one to change these things, but suddenly it’s 2 am, you have twenty different things in your Amazon cart, (who the fuck needs a metal straw cleaning kit?) and you’re trying to see how far you can stretch and grab your debit card before falling off of the bed.

The conflicting messages pushed by society don’t help all that much either. If you look up “Kondo method” or “decluttering my closet” on YouTube, the numbers of videos that come up is astounding. Pages and pages of sweaty-faced, smiling YouTubers monetizing from this kind of faux “minimalism” only to post haul videos a few days later because “I threw everything out and now I have to rebuild from scratch sksksk!”. Does this not just perpetuate a cycle of buying and throwing and buying? I am....confusion, to say the least. Still I watch them, because I’m a hypocrite, and am also easily amused.

I will be the first to admit I have always had a very unhealthy relationship with money, with self-image, and with measuring my self-worth in proximity with “stuff that stems from a complicated relationship with physical self. Follow along:

Growing up, I was a fat kid. We don’t even have to sugar coat it. Think Terrio, but better eyebrows and more hair. Except I was not killin’ em, just myself. I always envied my friends who were able to go shopping at regular stores – read: Hollister, Abercrombie, Urban Outfitters (yes my friends were white), meanwhile I was condemned to shopping in the women’s department.

So, to compensate, I would buy trinkets – things like nail polish, lip gloss, journals, you get the point. My proximity to worthiness was measured not by the things that I bought, but within the act of buying. Growing up with parents who were also financially frugal also altered my relationship with money and blessed me with crippling buyers’ remorse after every purchase, even on things that are important (read: groceries).  

But as a kid, buying “stuff” was fun for me – it gave me some sort of purpose, and the acquisition of things (even if they weren’t the same things my peers had) made me feel like, to some extent, I could compete on the same playing field. As I got older, and I started to have real expenses, I moved towards second-hand shopping. I would religiously find myself at Goodwill on weekend, after school, or with friends. I could literally feel an endorphin rush when I would find something that I would consider a “good deal”, and it made me feel (again) purposeful, to be spending money, even if I didn’t need whatever I was buying.

I should also add that the people in my immediate family does not believe in thrift stores (“Why am I working for you to wear other people’s clothing?”, I remember my dad asking me one day), so the act of second-hand shopping was also my form of rebellion.

I began to amass a collection of clothing that would put Kylie’s closet to shame. I began buying things for events and situations that were yet to happen, for other people, for when I lose ten pounds. It was a madness.

In freshman year of university, I had an unhealthy relationship with clubbing clothes. Did I have the figure for clubbing clothes? Absolutely not. The funnier part is, I couldn’t even go clubbing because I wasn’t 19 at the time. And yet I had drawers and drawers full of the stuff. Not to mention that clubbing clothes is incredibly similar to summer clothing and living between Minnesota and Canada meant that these things were barely seeing the light of day.

The moral of this was – I could never figure out my relationship with stuff, This quarantine has forced me to try and break down the compulsion behind my behaviour.  I felt like I was spiralling the six weeks that they closed thrift stores, and I knew myself well enough to not try and online shop with the same kind of frequency as that. But the crazy part was, I didn’t die. I didn’t go into withdrawal (ok, I did a little bit, but whatever), and I was able to take the time to go through the things I already owned and find some hidden gems that were routinely buried in the cracks and crevices of my closet. It was like the episode of Family Guy when Peter realizes he has a vestigial twin – alarming and cool at first, but then it’s just alarming and annoying.

Its more embarrassing to realize that some semblance of myself image is tied to the frequency with which I am able to spend money. I would never say that participating in capitalist society gives me some kind of purpose as a black woman because God forbid. Also, considering that a lot of big names companies are actually racist and fatphobic as hell creates a whole new dimension for analyzing the power of my black dollar, sometimes creating another spiral of guilt leading to you guessed it – more spending.

As much as it seems like it, however, this self-reflection was not in vain. In the past month, I’ve cut down my closet from +200 pieces of clothing and shoes to about 40. If you ever want a fun, humbling activity this quarantine, just clean out your closet and be honest with yourself about how often you wear certain things. It was revolting to see the number of shirts, dresses, pants, skirts that I had bought and convinced myself wholeheartedly I was going to wear, only to pull them out of my closet months later with the tags attached *insert Marge Simpson covering her face meme*.

But at the end of the whole ordeal, it felt really good to look at my space and not feel burden or guilt. It was somewhat philanthropic realizing that not only will these clothes make someone else happier (I donated pretty much everything because it’s not always about money), but that my quality of life was not dramatically impacted in owning (or not owning) certain things. The past few weeks, I’ve spent more money on going out and sharing experiences with friends, but still nowhere near the same amount of money I would have spent buying clothes and other material possession.

Youtuber Kelly Stamps has a video on how minimalism “cured” her depression**, and the whole thesis boils down to the idea that owning less things gives you less to compare yourself too, thus making you happier (in a sense) and allowing you to focus the energy and time that would have been centered around maintaining and building your collection of possessions other things.

This still doesn’t break down the root of the issue, but it’s a start. I think when you have traits or patterns that you’ve participated in for so long, it becomes hard to step back and be objective enough to realize that you – yes, you – are part of the problem. I can blame my habits on a lot of things but at the end of the day, it’s important to realize that certain cycles seem never-ending because I actively choose to participate in these kinds of behaviours (accountability is sexy, huh?). While I’m not ready to face all my demons quite yet, it’s easier to do it with a nice wardrobe and a streamlined sense of mind.

Notes

*When I say black women, I mean ALL black women. Not some limited, cis-gendered, heteronormative view of what a woman is. Over here we ride for all those who identify as women.

**She emphasizes that she doesn’t actually means that it cured anything, but rather helped with her anxiety, and in turn, helped with her depression.

Links

That Family Guy Episode

The Kelly Stamps video

#cms #selfhelp? #consumerism

[weptfire]

THE IMPERIAL COURT.

This was originally asked by @extravagantliar​, but tumblr fucked the formatting so I’m reposting.

THE MORE I LEARN ABOUT Louis XIV, the more of an inspiration he becomes for Celene. They’re not exactly like each other, of course, but there are similarities to be found not only in the historical figure but in how he’s often portrayed in historical fiction. The sun motif, the uncompromising vision, the “I am the state” mentality, the desire to make their nation an example to others, the arts and the way they managed power — not identical, but there are VIBES. Some inspiration is drawn from his court in this matter as well.

         The thing to understand about all aspects of Orlais since Celene was crowned is that she is Orlais. The empire was brought to the brink of collapse by Florian, and when she took the throne, she not only pulled it back, she reinvigorated it. Some believe her overtures of peace and emphasis on art / scholarship over war weaken Orlais; on the contrary, she’s made the nation strong. She’s not expanding, but expansion is not what Orlais needs, in truth. Instead, she’s made it stable, peaceful, and prosperous. She made the University of Orlais (previously a dumping ground for the kids no one wanted) the envy of Thedas. She reinvigorated its culture. Orlais, as we know it, is all her. (Well, not ALL, but so much of it.) This isn’t to dismiss the rot in the empire, merely to note how she’s shaped it.

         Her court was far from exempt from this. In many ways, she reshaped it to not only reflect the Orlais she wished to build but to give herself the upper hand. “The nobles in the crowd were fickle, bloodthirsty, and vain, but above all, they were hers. As much as they would have enjoyed the scandal of a bloody duel, they admired a good display of wit.” This is not to say that it is full of only people she believes to be allies. She purposefully keeps enemies or those of dubious loyalty near her — and even in important positions, when appropriate — for a number of reasons. She’s not the type to arbitrarily banish anyone who displeases her or to even make her displeasure overtly known. That is not how she plays the Game. Rather than remove disagreeable nobles publicly, she either wins them over or finds a way to ensure they slip up and essentially remove themselves. Every day she is walking in a minefield, and she knows it.

         Back to Louis: Versailles really concentrated power with him. If you wanted absolutely fucking anything from him, you had to make your request in person which meant a trip to Versailles. But, actually getting an audience took AGES, during which time you’d be obliged to take up residence there. Seems harmless enough, yes? Except life at court was so fucking expensive, and these expenses were in addition to expenses from your actual estate, but you weren’t at your estate to manage finances in the most effective manner. Many nobles ended up falling into debt trying to keep up with their peers, which played right into Louis’ hands. You couldn’t actually take up a job, so the only option for additional income was through royal posts, etc. which could only be granted by Louis. Even leaving Versailles wasn’t a very good option because among the benefits of living there (and there were benefits) was that your property couldn’t be seized when you didn’t pay debts. If you left, you lost what was yours; if you stayed, you kept it, but you were still in this hole. And, there were other benefits, such as keeping all these nobles right where he could spy on them with ease. Prior to this, the nobles held quite a bit of power, but by making them dependent on him and instituting stringent rules of etiquette, he kept them all walking on eggshells.

         Obviously, Celene’s court isn’t quite at that level. It’s not the same trap as his — and isn’t as large as his — but similar principles apply. The nobles of Orlais still hold considerable power and are not trapped at court. However, she’s found ways not to centralize power exactly but to accumulate it at court. Part of this comes from gathering all manner of noteworthy nobles to her regardless of whether they’re her allies; even if your business isn’t with her, you’ll likely still have to make your way to court to find the noble you need or else wait until they retire to their estate. Additionally, it’s the place to be to strike a decent match, forge a worthwhile alliance, really accomplish anything of note. Sure, you could survive and even do well away from court, but if you want to thrive, if you want to rise, if you want to play the Game, you have to go to court. And, that is what every Orlesian wants. Being away from court, even for a short time, can put a person a few critical steps behind in the Game. (Which is why sending Gaspard off to do things like hunt Darkspawn can be so effective.)

         It should be noted, however, that one can only make their way to court by invitation, and presumably, this invitation can only be extended by Celene. I think that’s one of the things she would’ve tightened — that those who are at court are there at her pleasure — because it’s a subtle way of giving herself power. “Oh, you want to bring your daughter to court so she can strike a good match? Dance, monkey, dance.”

         There are undoubtedly other benefits like tax cuts or exemptions from / leniency with regards to certain sumptuary laws, but that’s a rabbit hole for me. I’ll end up trying to write laws and shit, and nobody wants that.

         Along that same vein, though, a place in Celene’s court is expensive — not as expensive as Louis’, I’m sure, but nothing to sneeze at. Her court is the height of art and fashion. In addition to normal expenses (i.e. servants, horses, etc.), there is no end of functions to attend and things to know. Balls, salons, hunts, books to read, performances to attend, scholarship to know, art to display: the empress values learning; thus, the empire does as well. To enter court uninformed in any fashion would be to enter stark naked; knowledge is power. But, one cannot be literally naked either. Fashion is wearable art as well as a language unto itself.

Celene smiled. “Always. The sapphire hairpin, do you think, or the Antivan diamond-lace?”

Briala frowned and held both up for a moment, looking at Celene critically. “The sapphire suits you better, but to meet the merchants . . . Antivan diamonds are a reminder of our trade.”

Celene had been thinking the same thing. “Then we sacrifice my fashion upon the altar of appropriate symbolism.”

          Under Celene’s rule, Orlesian fashion reaches its height not just in terms of what styles to wear but in terms of its language. There is so much more to Orlesian fashion than mere ornamentation. Although the empire is often said to place aesthetics over function, it does serve several functions; it’s never comfortable, but it’s worth the pain. Even something as small as the placement of a beauty mark can give away one’s allegiances or intentions. They can have a whole exchange with each other without speaking just by how hair is arranged and fans are held. More than that, Celene changed certain rules of etiquette, introduced new ones, and impressed on the court their importance. She changed the rules of the Game and made herself its mistress. It’s complex and expensive to navigate court life. Most nobles are too busy trying not to misstep to pose a real threat, and many lose the Game simply forgetting their manners.

Varric: I have a serious question for you, Iron Lady. Vivienne: I can hardly wait. Varric: In the Imperial Court, if someone uses the wrong fork at dinner, is that worse than death or just social suicide? Vivienne: It’s impossible to say, my dear. Anyone who is ever so mis-stepped would be stabbed to death with the proper fork.

          It is interesting to note that if Gaspard is made emperor in DA:I and Michel is sent to court, Michel will comment on how starkly different it is. This could lead into an interesting discussion of gender roles in the empire. Celene and Gaspard, at the cores of their character, are strikingly similar, and I believe that if they had been able to play by the same rules, they would’ve developed in a similar fashion as well.

It had been Celene who had taught Briala to watch, since a girl, especially an elven girl, could not act as a man did. A man who acted quickly and aggressively was praised as bold and daring. A woman who did the same was foolish or desperate.

          To be honest, the Game is stacked against Celene — a situation which the deaths of her parents did nothing to help. She is forced to behave very differently from Gaspard by virtue of being a woman, and her courtly persona is as much a mask as the gold on her face. When she came to power, she didn’t so much change the rules that bound her as stacked the odds in her favor by forcing others to play by them as well.

         Going back to Louis, though, one thing I think he managed to do better than her is handle his relationship with his military. By which I mean that Louis, although not a soldier himself, found other ways to earn his troops’ loyalty. This included building the Hôtel National des Invalides. (He was knowledgeable in war, but it was more Philippe’s realm than his.) In fairness to Celene, Gaspard was always going to be favored over her in that regard, and his inability to play the Game at court with the same effectiveness as, say, Florianne is undoubtedly why he sought power via becoming a chevalier. Celene and Gaspard are counterpoints in this respect.

          Louis’ lack of military acumen was made up for by his brother with whom he maintained a close relationship, but Celene was at odds with Gaspard from the start. And, it’s interesting because his inability to woo the court is why she was able to seize the throne via the Council of Heralds, and her inability to get the military (namely the chevaliers) on her side is why he’s potentially able to seize the throne via civil war. Courtly intrigue vs. military prowess has been the difference between them from the start, which also comes back to Orlais’ gender roles! I’m getting off topic, but it’s neat.

         Final point: Celene only has the three ladies-in-waiting which is unusually low. I haven’t decided what families they come from, but they’re likely from House Valmont’s four cadet branches. It would be a way to secure those family’s loyalties; perhaps the fourth is loyal to Gaspard or doesn’t have any daughters. In addition to a lady-in-waiting’s normal duties and acting as some of her closest confidantes, they are trained to perfectly mimic her voice, speech patterns, and body language. They were chosen in part for their incredible resemblance to her so that, should the need arise, they could take her place. Think the Queen of Naboo and her handmaidens. This is not well-known, however, leading several nobles to become irritated because she won’t take on their daughters — won’t even seem to consider it. Her standards are high not only in terms of their aptitude and loyalty but in terms of their very appearance.

#⊰ headcanon | primary ⋄ you forget to hide the little tells ⊱ #⊰ headcanon | world ⋄ you forget to hide the little tells ⊱ #⊰ queue ⋄ I chase the memory of it still ⊱

[pamphletstoinspire]

The Devil Wants a Civil War

“A house divided against itself cannot stand,” asserted Abraham Lincoln during his acceptance speech for the Illinois Republican nomination to the U.S. Senate in 1858. Three years later Lincoln would be sworn in as President of the United States and would be leading his country through the American Civil War. Of course, Lincoln did not come up with those famous words from his House Divided Speech on his own. He borrowed them from Christ, who explained in Matthew 12:25, “Every kingdom divided against itself will be laid waste, and no town or house divided against itself will stand.” This wisdom from Our Lord is crucial in understanding that division s one of the main battle strategies of the devil. Satan always seeks to divide us.

Christ, on the other hand, wants to unite us. In His High Priestly Prayer in John 17, Our Lord prayed “not only for [the Twelve], but also for those who believe in me through their word, so that they may all be one, as you Father are in me and I in you, that they also may be in us, that the world may believe that you sent me. And I have given them the glory you sent me, so that they may be one as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may be brought to perfection as one, that the world may know that you sent me, and that you loved them even as you loved me.”

The devil wants civil war. He seeks to divide because he wants to destroy. Christ seeks to unite because he wants to glorify and perfect. Destruction or glory—this is the choice the Church, the nation, and the world face. On the surface it would appear to be a simple choice, a no-brainer. But consistently throughout history humanity has chosen the devil’s path to division and destruction rather than the way of unity and glory through Christ. And the same continues to happen today.

To defend ourselves against the wickedness and snares of the devil, it is helpful to understand his tactics. The devil “is a liar, and the father of lies.” He will tell us whatever he needs to in order to wreak havoc in our lives and send us on a path to destruction. In his excellent book Spiritual Warfare and the Discernment of Spirits, author Dan Burke explains, “The bad spirits cause desolation and lead us to the world, the flesh, the devil, selfishness, and ultimately hell. These spirits only seek to do us harm.” The devil will use our selfish and wicked desires, our addictions, our fears, our vanity, and our pride to destroy us. Unlike the devil and his bad spirits, the Lord’s good spirits “cause consolation and seek to lead us to God, to the Good, to selflessness, to union with God, and ultimately to heaven. These spirits are dispatched by God and only seek our good.”

The devil has successfully used these tactics for millennia. He played both sides during what is commonly known as the Protestant Reformation. He turned leaders of the Catholic Church toward their own carnal desires and away from God, causing corruption and wickedness. Then he fed on the pride and vainglory of the “reformers,” and the princes and kings who supported them, convincing them to abandon the Church to form thousands of their own independent congregations, instead of working on real reform from the inside. This division of the Church led to bloody wars between Protestants and Catholics that lasted all the way into my lifetime.

The devil has done this again and again, dividing the Church, dividing nations, and dividing the world so that we will destroy each other. It is easy to spot the devil at work in the world because of the fruit he brings forth. As Our Lord tells us, “You will know them by their fruits… every good tree bears good fruits, but the bad tree bears bad fruit.” The devil brings forth the bad fruits of division and destruction. And he is doing it again right now.

The devil’s destructive forces have taken many forms over the millennia, but one of his most successful and deadly in modern times is Marxism. Marxists seek to tear down and destroy. Marxists hate the world and its Creator. They believe that they are morally superior to God Himself and can do a much better job at building a just society. But before they can do that they must destroy the old society. That means they must destroy what Mao and his Red Guards called the Four Olds: Old Customs, Old Culture, Old Habits, and Old Ideas. Thus, things like the Church and the Constitution must be obliterated.

Like their father, the devil, the Marxists destroy by sowing division. They divide based on class, age, gender, race, and sexual desires. They turn people against each other using the deadly sins of greed, envy, wrath, and pride. Then they burn everything to the ground. The entire system must be destroyed completely and utterly. The Old Customs, Old Culture, Old Habits, and Old Ideas are blamed for all the evils of mankind and therefore anyone who still holds to them is evil as well. These evil people who adhere to the Four Olds find their property stolen or destroyed, their reputations sullied, their families persecuted, and themselves either executed or sent off to the gulag or work camps where they are tortured for years, sometimes until the day they die.

Many of the well-meaning followers of Marxist ideologies (including a large number of Christians) believe that after the old, evil system is destroyed that a new and just system will be erected in its place—the perfect Communist society. But this never happens, because the devil cannot build; he can only destroy. There is not a single example of a successful Marxist revolution being followed by the establishment of the Communist ideals. Without exception, every Marxist revolution has been followed by terror, oppression, and mass death due to famine or execution or both. In the 20th century alone, Marxists killed approximately 100 million people. And the devil danced.

The devil is using the Marxists again, this time to destroy the Church and America. Through the propaganda of his servants, he is dividing us in any and every way he can. Like their father the devil, the modern Marxists lie to achieve destruction. They have even convinced some of the faithful that sins aren’t sinful, that it doesn’t matter what you believe as long as you are sincere, that God cares only that we are happy, that objective truth does not exist, and that we can define our own truth. All too often they are even able to convince people that God does not exist at all, and in the words of famed atheist Bertrand Russell, “the Christian religion, as organized in its churches, has been and still is the principal enemy of moral progress in the world.”

The Marxists have also convinced large numbers of Americans of destructive lies. These include the absurd lie that police hunt black men for sport, that all white people are racist, and that the entire American system is racist and is rigged against black people. Through their lies the Marxists have convinced a depressingly large number of young black people that no matter how hard they work, they will have little chance to succeed due to white privilege and systemic racism. The Marxists tell us that we are better off without police, that we are better off without a strong family structure, and that we are better off without God. Then they riot and burn cities, all while continuing to lie by asserting that it isn’t happening and that everything is peaceful. If we continue along this path of division, the endgame is obvious—the devil wants civil war, and he is going to get it.

Is civil war unavoidable at this point? The Transition Integrity Project (“TIP”)—an organization made up of self-important people who really do not like President Trump—recently claimed to have “war-gamed” the likely fallout from the upcoming election. According to TIP, the only way to avoid a civil war, or at least massive civil unrest, is if former Vice President Joe Biden wins in a landslide. The Biden campaign is echoing that sentiment, with Biden himself asking, “Does anyone believe there will be less violence in America if Donald Trump is re-elected?”

But Joe Biden is not going to be the savior of America. Neither he nor Donald Trump can stop the devil’s plans for a civil war, because the true causes are not physical, but spiritual. Thus, only God can save us. Just as God told the Israelites, “If my people, upon whom my name has been pronounced, humble themselves and pray, and seek my presence and turn from their evil ways, I will hear them from heaven and pardon their sins and revive their land.” The way we can avoid the coming destruction is by turning to Christ. The devil divides, but Christ unites! The devil destroys, but Christ glorifies!

We are never completely abandoned by the Lord no matter how bad things get. He is always willing to demonstrate His inexhaustible love and mercy if we appeal to Him. This is a time to pray and fast, to mourn in sackcloth and ashes. We should organize novenas within our parishes to pray that the Lord God forgive the great sins of this nation, that He not remove His protective hand from us, and that He lead us all back to Him. We should be praying the Holy Rosary every day, with this or a similar intention. And we must demonstrate to our neighbors that Christ unites, by showing them love and respect and by being the light of the world that Our Lord wants us to be.

We can defeat the devil and his servants who are trying to destroy us if it be God’s will. If we turn to Him, He will work through His Church—through us—to defeat this great evil that threatens all of mankind. Just remember how the Lord worked through the Blessed Virgin to reveal to three shepherd children in Fatima instructions that would save the world from war and end the scourge of Communism in Russia. Following Our Lady’s instructions, Pope Saint John Paul II consecrated Russia to the Immaculate Heart of Mary in 1984. The Berlin Wall came down just five years later, followed by the collapse of the Soviet Union in the ensuing years. Even secularists who do not believe in the Fatima miracles admit the importance of the Church and the pope in bringing down European Communism.

The devil wins when we are divided. He loses when we unite ourselves in Christ. The time to do so is now before the devil gets his civil war.

BY: R. C. VANLANDINGHAM

#devil and civil war