#garlic is for winners

[current-obsession-hoard]

Diego: So, are you two friends?

Lila: Yes.

Five: No.

#tua #the umbrella academy #five hargreeves #diego hargreeves #lila pitts #garlic is for winners #ENOUGH FOREPLAY #I'm going to go talk to someone with only half of her head up her ass #I love their relationship in s3 #they are awesome besties #miss you already #thats weird #incorrect quotes #incorrect tua quotes

[praetorqueenreyna]

I LOVE HER!!

#the umbrella academy #tua #lila pitts #number five #five hargreeves #GARLIC IS FOR WINNERS #ENOUGH FOREPLAY

[yells-of-the-not-so-danged]

i love that garmadon is just into growing plants now. i love that the writers did that purely because now i can just transplant stories i heard about my great grandfather's gardening exploits. Like yeah, when ever garm sees a plant he likes he'll just steal a branch and grow one from that. He has an Eggplant... plant... who's fruit (is an eggplant a fruit? squash??)looks like a real egg! garlic gone bad in the fridge and is now sprouting? plant it! why not!

#ninjago #ninjago headcanons #lord garmadon #garmadon ninjago #ninjago garmadon #sensei garmadon #it extends to them too #im actually doing the garlic thing rn #it's peaking out of the dirt👍 #i still haven't look up if i need a 2nd garlic to pollinate the 1st or if it can self pollinate #JUST LOOKED IT UP THEY DO SELF POLLINATE IM A WINNER

[queercelestialhoneybee]

would appreciate reblogs :)

#not live without #garlic #onion #mushrooms #potatoes #vanilla extract #if y’all make vanilla extract the clear winner then at least half of you are liars #this should be a hard decision dammit

[astrangeghost]

fuck youguys. thinks about nsr

#ALSO im on episode(?) nine of object vortex n its really cool : ] excited to seewho wins it and also how theyre gonna go about the!!! #garlic bread being alive is square gonna like. take away their consciousness the same as when they brought em into the world #or at the end is square gonna be like congrats! okay garlic bread get over there #n garlic bread will just hang out with the winner or somegthin idk

[madhyanas]

lila pitts ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

#garlic is for winners. enough foreplay! #she means so Much to me #tings #tua #tua spoilers

[recipes2024]

Creamy Lemon & Garlic Chicken Bake! 😋A winner every. single. time. ⚡️40g butter 6-8 garlic cloves, roughly chopped 1 cup chicken stock (powdered) Juice and zest of one lemon 25g Parmesan cheese, grated 1/3 cup thickened cream 6-8 cubes of frozen spinach or as much fresh as you like (big handful at least) 1kg-1.2kg chicken thighs 3 tbs smokey paprika Sea salt to taste, a big pinch Preheat oven to 170c fan-forced. Melt butter in saucepan on medium. Add garlic and sauté for 1-2 mins. Add stock, lemon and Parmesan. Stir. Add cream and spinach and simmer for 5 mins. Place chicken into an oven sage pan and coat in paprika and salt on both sides. Roll thighs back up and pour over sauce. Bake for 50 mins until golden. Enjoy! *adapted from Lala’s recipe (thank you to my follower for letting me know the origin of this recipe)#easyrecipe #easyrecipess #garlic #lemon #fyp #learnontiktok #recipesoftiktoksa #recipesoftiktoks #bangbangchickenskewers #airfryerrecipes #recipe #recipes #recipes2024 #family #favoriterecipe #easyrecipe #mealideas #recipesforyou #vital #vitalkitchen #vitalkitchenco #jordan #asher #jordanasher #chef #chefs #chefsoftiktok #cooking #cookinghacks #cookingtiktok #cookingtips #cookingvideo #cookinghack #cookinghacks #viral #fyp #fypシ #fup #fupシ #foryou #foryoupage #foryoupage❤️❤️ #blowthisuptiktok #michaeljordancooking #jordancooking #jordanashercooking #cheframsey #hellskitchen #heavenskitchen #jordanbecooking #michaeljordanofcooking #michaeljordancook #vitalkitchenco. #thekitchenco

#Creamy Lemon & Garlic Chicken Bake! 😋A winner every. single. time. ⚡️40g butter 6-8 garlic cloves #roughly chopped 1 cup chicken stock (powdered) Juice and zest of one lemon 25g Parmesan cheese #grated 1/3 cup thickened cream 6-8 cubes of frozen spinach or as much fresh as you like (big handful at least) 1kg-1.2kg chicken thighs 3 t #a big pinch Preheat oven to 170c fan-forced. Melt butter in saucepan on medium. Add garlic and sauté for 1-2 mins. Add stock #lemon and Parmesan. Stir. Add cream and spinach and simmer for 5 mins. Place chicken into an oven sage pan and coat in paprika and salt on #easyrecipe #easyrecipess #garlic #lemon #fyp #learnontiktok #recipesoftiktoksa #recipesoftiktoks #bangbangchickenskewers #airfryerrecipes #recipe #recipes #recipes2024 #family #favoriterecipe #mealideas #recipesforyou #vital #vitalkitchen #vitalkitchenco #jordan #asher #jordanasher #chef #chefs

[helpsuzi3d]

Bruschetta - Tomato Bruschetta

#This traditional appetizer features fresh tomatoes along with garlic #basil #and balsamic vinegar. It becomes even more special with melted mozzarella cheese. dish #tomatoes #tomato bruschetta #tim #winner #appetizers and snacks #recipe

[zappafool]

kowalski garlic baloney and colby cheese sandwich...cant get any better than this

#wally words #REAL bitches know #i love love love garlic baloney esp this kind #i also love pickle loaf meat and olive loaf meat #all winners if i had to pick

[stinkfacestories]

The day you found out you had won Jason Kelces Beard Challenge was the best day of your life. The challenge was simple: put together a snap or tiktok video of how to get a beard as good as Jason and the top winner would win a day with Jason. Your video was a long shot: you made a tiktok showing how if you mixed essence of dwarf, with a bit of neanderthal, and just a splash of viking inside Abraham Lincoln's hat and applied it to your face, you'd look as good as Jason. It did t get very many views but Jason loved it. The next thing you knew you were in Philadelphia meeting the man himself at the airport.

The tour of Philadelphia through Jason Kelces eyes was a lot of stops at places he loved to eat. Steak sandwich, sausage, pizza, ice cream. The man just loved to eat. As the day dragged on just as Afternoon turned to evening he took you to Lincoln Field, his home turf. There was no game and the place was locked down, but that was nothing a few signed balls couldn't handle.

He took you to the locker room, the place where he told you he feels most free to be himself. You both sat down on the bench in front of his locker. He took out a case of bud light and cracked one open. The man drank so much bud lite you swore he was sponsored by them.

He told you to be quiet. To just listen to the sound of the room. To drink it in and become one with the soul of real American football.

The only thing you heard was the bench breaking as Kelce leaned forward and let out a fart with a satisfied grunt.

"Oh, sorry," he said, not sounding very sorry.

"Really? " you said. You looked at him, almost appalled that he would do that with you right next to him.

Jason turned and gave you a wink. "Dont tell me you don't find farts funny. Your a guy. All guys love farts." 

You rolled your eyes. "Not really."

"What about this one," he said and let loose a loud bassy fart.

"God stop it, it's so gross," you said as you slid away, but suddenly found yourself pressed against the wall of the locker room. "Seriously dude. What the fuck?"

"C'mon," Jason said as he moved over towards you. “I warned you. Remember when I ate that large sausage with pickled garlic ave said ‘were in trouble later’? What do you think I meant.” and placed a hand on your chest, giving you a bit of a push. "Don't be a prude."

You were caught between a wall, and a wall of beef holding you in place. "Seriously, stop it".

"Can't stop. Won't stop," he said still pressing you in the wall. His eyes were the kind of dull that only cheap low quality beer can make the."You know I bet you never had an older brother. Between me, my dad and Travis we learned to appreciate farts. My dad told me that the best cure is exposure. So to get you up to speed I think I need to gas you more"

He  pressed into you and lifted up his keg and let loose with a fart so powerful it echied through the empty locker room.. You struggled to get away from the horrible stench, but couldn't escape.

"No, don't do this," you said as it overwhelmed you.

He turned around and pressed his huge soft center lineman ass in your face, the soft fabric of his shorts spreading across your face like warm dough. It was too much, and you were powerless to stop it. His asshole flexed and relaxed as it sent out a long drawn out series of wet sounding farts. You gagged as the air around you filled with the horrid odor.

"Fuck that was a good one," he said, not budging an inch. “Three point stance just rips these farts out of me.”

"I think I'm going to puke," you said, trying not to vomit.

"If your gonna puke, aim that way, I like these shorts." he said pointing. "Do you think it's funny yet?"

"No!" You coughed.

"Alright you asked for it" he presses his ass harder, wedging your nose on his cheeks. He let loose with a rapid fire volley of farts that left you breathless and coughing. He backed away, chuckling at you.

"God, fuck, that's rank!" You coughed. You tried to breathe fresh air but the locker room had been total polluted by Kelces ass.

"Come on. You don't have to love them, but you gotta at least admit they are funny and manly now. How can you like football and not think farts are funny." he let you stew and come up with an answer.

"Fuck...no," you say.

He shrugged. "Ok. Your loss," he said and pressed his ass in your face again.

"No! Please. God. No. Fuck!"

"What's it going to take? Do I need to pull my shorts down and give you a bare ass stinkface?" He said, pressing even harder.

"No! No more. Fine. They're fucking funny," you cried.

"What?" He said. "I couldn't hear you"

"They're funny!"

"Now are you just saying that to make me stop?"

"No, I mean it. They are funny and they are manly."

"Well, if it's funny you won't have a problem asking me to do it a few more times so you can properly laugh. Right?"

"Uh...fine. Sure. Just, please, no more, I can't take it."

He turned and farted once. "Laugh. Laugh hard and long and deep." He was getting frustrated that you weren't laughing. "Seriously come on guy. This is just as bad for me as it is for you. It's hard to hold this position and if I keep farting I'm going to have to take a dump soon"

"Oh god no!"

"Laugh dammit!" He yelled.

"No, no, I can't."

"Fine then," he said. He pulled you down and set you face up on the bench. He loomed over you. "Ok big fucking guns time" he pulled down his shorts and hovered his raw hairy bear ass over your face.

"Oh shit, dude please don't!" His as was a beast. This close you could make out the rough skin. His ass had taken a pounding over the years and looked like a hefty bag overfilled with cottage cheese. The hair on his crack was dense and black. 

"Do you think this is funny?"

"Yes, yes, fuck, yes!" You were sobbing, your body convulsing.

“Good. Then you'll find this hilarious.” he sat down. He sat down hard. He rocked back and forth, the wiry hair of his ass crack scouring your face. He dug deep like he has an itch he was trying to scratch.

"Laugh. C'mon. Laugh, laugh like a big boy." He said, simultaneously belching and farting.

"Ahahaha!" You started crying and laughing.

"Oh fuck. What a fucking cry baby. Laughing at farts is supposed to be funny. Not sad."

"I'm sorry," you sobbed.

"Just...fucking stop," he said, standing and pulling up his shorts as he got off you. "Baby can't handle a grown man's ass. Jesus fuck"

He sat down next to you. You were still shaking a little, tears coming from your eyes. "I'm sorry," you said.

"It's fine, it's not the first time I've gassed someone like that," he said. "your not the only one who cried either "

You sniffed, still wiping tears away. "It was just so...overwhelming. The smell, and the sound, and the pressure..."

"It was a lot. It was," he said.

He drained his bud light and crushed the can. "Ok second chance to get it right." He leaves forward and farted, then looked to you to see your reaction.

You laughed. A genuine laugh. "Fuck, dude."

He smiled and farted again. You kept laughing. "It's funny, isn't it?"

"Yeah. It is," you said, laughing some more.

"Now you" he said 

You panicked. You didn't have to fart. You were to nervous.

"What the hell. Do it"

"I don't know if I can," you said.

"Come on. Do it. Do it" he chanted.

"I can't."

"You trying to make me mad? You're a guy. You should always be ready to let rip"

"But I'm not drunk like you are. And I'm not a fucking monster with an ass like yours."

"Fine, then, let's fix that." He reached down and ripped a huge one. He reached for his phone and placed a call "Trav. Yeah we got an emergency. Yeah get that chili defrosted and get some real cheap beer. Ooooh and some gas station food. Yeah he's a wimp. Didn't laugh. No he did. Fuck no she can't come to.  Alright. Love you. No homo" he hung up the phone.

"Your brother's coming over?"

"Yup. And he's gonna be pissed if you don't laugh when he cuts one. He loves farts. And he's got an ass that could kill a guy."

"Wait..."

"We're going to our man cave. It's a cabin in the woods. Just guys. Strict no pants policy. You better hope Trav remembered his boxers. You are gonna learn to love being a man like us and become the third Kelce brother, or you ain't leaving that shack."

"What's it going to be like," you said, afraid, but also excited.

"Oh, you're gonna hate every minute, and you're gonna love every minute."

"Fuck. I'm going to get wrecked, aren't I?"

"Oh definitely. We will probably fuck up your head so much. You're going to end up with a fetish for this."

You laughed.

All you could do was laugh.

#stinkface #farting #face farting #face sittting #gassy hunks #jason kelce #stinkface stories

[matchalovertrait]

So many people, so many different thoughts and opinions!

Previous / Next (Transcript under the cut)

Transcript:

(1.) [Andrea] You have 30 minutes to make an appetizer using all four of the basket ingredients. The timer starts... Now!

(2.) [Alex] I'm making a raclette with an assortment of merguez sausage, vegetable flatbread, pea shoots, and a side of shakshuka sauce. I think everything will go nicely with the melted cheese.

(3.) [Alex] I'll add ham, salami, steamed potatoes, and olives. I'm kind of playing it safe, but I hope the variety of flavors work out for me. It's all part of my strategy to at least get to the second round.

(4.) [Lewis] I've calmed down now. I decided to make a salad with pea shoots, crumbled sausage, flatbread croutons, and a shakshuka vinaigrette.

(5.) [Lewis] It's a salad. I can't possibly mess this up.... right?

(6.) [Dulce] I went with pizza wedges with a flatbread crust. They'll have shakshuka sauce, pea shoots, and merguez sausage. Of course, I'll be adding some mozzarella and parmesan cheese.

(7.) [Dulce] The pizza wedges are going to be soooo cute and fun. I'll also put some bacon bits and garlic. I can't put too many things, though. The wedges aren't going to be that big.

(8.) [Rubiya] I'm making spaghetti with merguez sausage meatballs, shakshuka sauce, and pea shoots. I'll add the vegetables from the flatbread to my sauce and use the rest of the flatbread to make garlic bread.

(9.) [Rubiya] Could I have made shakshuka? Yes, but that's rather predictable. Also, as someone from a Middle Eastern family, I refuse to use premade shakshuka sauce. I must make it from scratch.

(10.) [Andrea] It's time to introduce the two judges here today who are joining Michelin-Starred Chef, Mia D'Angelo-Ramirez.

(11.) [Mia] Thank you, Andrea. I'm always accompanied by amazing people, but I think the viewers and contestants will find today's lineup quite astounding.

(12.) [Dulce] Wow, it's actually her... I look up to Chef Mia a lot as another Mexican-Italian. I don't have Italian blood like her, but I was born here. I want to be on her level someday.

(13.) [Lewis] Oh my gosh..... I know Chef Mia is in every episode, but I still got nervous again when I saw her at the judges' table. She is so beautiful and talented.

(14.) [Carlo] Mia, you flatter me.

[Andrea] Chef Mia is right, though! Folks, here we have Executive Chef and Food Entrepreneur, Carlo Mancini.

(15.) [Alex] Chef Carlo Mancini??? He's the real deal. It's too late to change my appetizer now, so I have to impress him with my raclette.

(16.) [Rubiya] Chef Carlo Mancini. This will be fun.

(17.) [Andrea] And here's Grammy Award winner, Sofia Bjergsen!

[Sofia] Thank you so much. I've already been having a blast here. Not many people know this, but I was actually in culinary school for a bit before I decided to pursue music full-time.

(18.) [Dulce] THE Sofia Bjergsen??? I have all of her vinyl records! My favorite song by her is My Love Knows. I know the entire choreography for that song... here, I'll show you!

(19.) *My Love Knows by Sofia Bjergsen starts playing*

(20.) *My Love Knows by Sofia Bjergsen starts playing*

(21.) [Alex] Okay, I'll admit that I'm a fan, but what is she doing here? Isn't she on a world tour right now?

(22.) [Andrea] We are overjoyed to have the three of you as judges. Please, talk amongst yourselves while I check on the chefs.

#yeah the judges walked in and sat down at their table when the kids were already cooking #dulce alegria #rubiya jabal #lewis mack #alex marino #andrea mixon #mia d'angelo-ramirez #carlo mancini #sofia bjergsen #tjolc gen 1 #tjolc #alegria legacy #matchalovertrait #the sims 4 #sims 4 story #ts4 story #ts4 legacy #ts4 #sims 4 #ts4 screenshots

[muzsmoux]

Reviewing tgcf characters because I have thoughts

I finished S2 recently and I need somewhere to put my not exactly hot but like warm (?) takes because it's taking up too much storage space in my brain.

🤍 Xie Lian 🤍

It's a good thing I'm not into guys because if I was I would be on my knees for this man in every sense of that expression and his pet menace to society would mince me up like garlic.

So I'll try to be brief about my overflowing feelings about him. Xie Lian is the best main character I have come across in a WHILE. He's the embodiment of compassion and kindness. And also a cold blooded murderer. A babygirl. A father figure. A terrifying martial god. A silly little guy. A pathological liar. The most genuine man you'll ever meet. He's everything, and Hua Cheng is 100% valid in his obsession. I'm right there with him.

Rating: 10/10

❤️ Hua Cheng ❤️

Idk if we ever figured out who wrote My Immortal but I'm pretty sure we have our culprit.

"Hi my name is Hua Cheng Crimson Rain Sought Flower Red-Robed Ghost King and this is my evil weapon of death E-ming. I've killed soooo many gods with it!! My dark power is I can summon storms of BLOOD and SUFFERING. I have my own scary city of DEMONS and they all love me and think I'm HOT but I only want my BOYFRIEND who's the only REAL GOD so STOP FLAMING HIM YOU POSERS-"

Needless to say I love him. Being the 8 time winner of the Loverboy of the Century Awards with unbeatable records in the yearning olympics is truly a remarkable feat.

Rating: 9/10

(Bonus: E-ming. Cute little guy. Likes his stepdad more than his real dad. Not afraid to show it's feelings even if it makes it look like a muppet, 10/10)

🧡 Feng Xin & Mu Qing 🧡

Tweedle dee and tweedle dum gets a shared rating because they would hate to be grouped together like that and that's funny to me. Their dynamic is great, they're good characters, I wasn't sure which one was which until midway through the second season. But then also I have a pair of 7yo twin cousins who I still can't tell apart despite them not looking even a slight bit similar so that might just be a character flaw on my end. Oops.

Rating: 7/10

🩵Shi Qingxuan🩵

I'm doubling the rating because she is best boy and best girl at the same time. I love that I can use any and all pronouns for him because he's literally a pride parade personified and therefore all of them are correct. You don't get that type of chaotic fun just anywhere.

He is truly living my dream, presenting as whatever gender they want depending on what's more convenient and/or funnier in the moment. Super useful, for things like gathering intel and terrorizing Feng Xin by being a woman.

And I personally think we should crown her the new emperor. She'd look significantly better on that throne, with her Barbie-like radiance and flourishing Kenergy.

Rating: 20/10

🖤 Ming Yi 🖤

Listen, I hate to say it because I like a sunshine x grump moment as much as the next gay but he's just... not giving what he thinks he's giving. Everyone is whispering ominously about him having some dark devastating secret but MY point is no matter how big his boobs are in his female form, Shi Qingxuan could do better. I'm sorry. She really could.

Rating: 4/10

💙 Lang Qianqiu 💙

Just an honest man with good intentions and a sickass fucking sword. He did NOT hesitate to attack the infamous Crimson Rain Sought Flower on SIGHT and I respect a quick decisionmaker, even if it shows some himbo tendencies. He also has the same distinct energy as Fred from Scooby Doo.

Rating: 6/10

💚 Qi Rong 💚

He's got some odd dietary and moral choices going on. Definitely. But he's just such a fun villain!!! Being Xie Lian's nr 1 source of migraines SHOULD make me like him less but I'm sorry, every time he was on screen I was LIVING. He would do numbers on reality TV. Someone put this guy on Kitchen Nightmares, I need to see him 1v1 Gordon Ramsay.

Rating: 7/10

🌚 Jun Wu 🌚

He has his emperor status & DILF card going for him but something about this man just ain't right. If he came to a party I was attending I would cover my drink is all I'm saying.

Rating: 2/10

🔥Pei Ming🔥

I don't know much about him besides he had that one shady empolyee or whatever (could not hear the plot over the deafening sound of Hua Cheng's yearning) but I'm partial to a good manwhore character. The thought of people praying to him like "Hugh Mungus, who art in heaven-" really tickles me.

I know he's probably straight but I headcanon him as at the very least bi-curious because you can't be that hot with that much game and not use it for evil. (That evil being causing large scale gay awakenings among his soldiers.)

Rating: 7/10

❓Pei Xiu❓

Unreliable, unimportant, unattractive, unemployed.

I remember not a singular thing about him besides fucking up Xie Lian's daughter's life and also being on my last nerve from the jump. If you're going to be evil at like least be memorable about it, you know? You can't be a bad person and a bad character at the same time. Pick a struggle.

Rating: 1/10

📚 Ling Wen 📚

I heard she committed some war crimes but honestly if I had to do an entire realm's tax returns by myself AND teach Pei Ming how to read (I refuse to believe that man is literate, just look at him) I would want to rage on occasion too. I hope she has a hot wife waiting for her at home to give her massages after carrying the whole system on her back all day. It's what she deserves.

Rating: 8/10

Thank you for reading!! Opinions might change once I read the books but as of now this is it. Remembering everyone's names has been a journey and a half so this post is sponsored by @kirstenly 's character cheat sheet go look at it! and everything else too!!!

#heaven official's blessing #tian guan ci fu #tgcf #xie lian #hua cheng #feng xin #mu qing #shi qingxuan #ming yi #lang qianqiu #qi rong #jun wu #pei ming #pei xiu #ling wen #sorry for the long post #im just obsessed

[nerdieforpedro]

His Place of Peace

Dieter Bravo x plus size female reader

Fanfiction - teens and up I guess?

Masterlist / Dieter Bravo Masterlist

Warnings: just fluff and maybe a few innuendos, brief mention of drug use

Notes: I’ve actually had this in my WIP folder for a while. Re-worked it a bit and feel like it’s ready. A soft Dieter was inspired by lo-fi beats and coffee. Maybe how he would be if he was at home and looking over scripts. He’s touch oriented so I thought this fit.

Length: 835 (New personal short record!)

“Honey, you can’t wear those.” A gray robe was draped over the love seat as Dieter plopped on the floor in front of it. He had a script in hand and needed to focus.

“Why? I’m in my house and it’s a little cool.” You stood in the doorway to the living room. Happy that he was home, but a little miffed that he didn’t start with a greeting at least. It had been a year, you knew him well enough by now that Dieter Bravo didn’t always give you what you wanted, but he somehow surprised you with what you didn’t know you needed.

“I won’t feel your thighs properly if you wear pajama pants. Keep your tank top on though.” He instructed, and started to read the script again. You walked back to the bedroom and slipped off your bottoms, then donned a pair of white cheeky panties to match your tank top and walked out to the loveseat. Dieter peeked up at you,

“You didn’t need to put on panties.” His eyes went back to his script. Mumbling to himself, you’d only get parts of him now, the award winner took his craft seriously. Claiming your seat next to him on the loveseat, you didn’t feel like being compliant quite yet. One arm snaked over your thigh and his head leaned on your knee. “Baby, help me out.” His dark brown curls tickled your skin, you reached your hand for them but stopped yourself, it would be giving in. “Please…?” You couldn’t see his face, but you knew your boyfriend was making a pouty face.

“Fine, but I want cheese ravioli with garlic bread from that chef you take with you when you travel.” Your hand met its place among his rolling strands. They felt like silk and massaging his scalp helped him focus on learning his lines, so he said. A soft purr of satisfaction came from Dieter’s chest. Despite how frustrating he could be, moments like these made him sweet in your eyes. He wasn’t content with just the scalp massage, he wiggled in-between your legs and lifted your calves, placing your knees on each of his shoulders. Bravo locked his arms around your calves so you wouldn’t move your legs off, eyes still on his script. The facial hair on each side of his cheeks and jaw enticed you to start digging your fingernails on his scalp kneading the skin.

A calming hum left Deiter as he flipped the page, carefully reading what he needed to say next, trying to picture the character he would be playing in this role. His head started to bob side to side, alternating with the pressure from your fingernails into his scalp.

“You’re perfect, you know that right? I’ll tell the chef to make that nasty ass pineapple on one of the pizzas we’ll have tomorrow night. The ravioli will be tonight though. I need a kiss from my perfect woman, please?” His neck extended and his mischievous coffee eyes drank you in, your smile, the messy bun you had on your head, the tanktop that fit better six months ago according to you but Dieter would tell you it hugs you in the correct places. The only person that wasn’t contractually obligated to stay by his side through his three stents in rehab but convinced him to make the coke and molly an every other week treat.

“Alright, but then you’re going back to your script.” Your soft lips touched his forehead, lingering for a moment before pulling back. His large hand cupped your cheek to hold your face there so he could keep looking at you, studying your face, your moles, the small scar in your hairline that you told him was from you tried to use a hot comb on your hair by yourself. You turned your head to kiss the small circle tattoo he had on his left hand.

The actor’s face beamed at the small moments with you like this. Ones he thought he’d never have because he was always herded like some prize cattle, from one place to the next and any reprieve he found were in powders, bottles and pills. Due to his schedule, he barely had time to paint anymore, but here you were. Someone he could come home to, make jokes with, supportive and loving. His head was in the best place it could be, between your thick thighs, heavy legs keeping him from floating away in the weightless feeling you gave him each time you touched him.

Dieter’s hand let go of your face as you sat back, gently running the pads of your fingers across his forehead where your lips had been. His eyes returned to the words on the pages, re-reading the same line three times. He felt safe and loved, he cleared his throat to re-focus himself again finally getting to the line below, he’d stay here all night if allowed, secure with his beautiful perfect woman right above him.

#pedro pascal characters #fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal #dieter bravo #dieter bravo fanfic #dieter bravo fanfiction #dieter bravo x plus size reader #dieter bravo x reader #dieter bravo fluff

[c0ffeeb1ack]

#the umbrella academy #tua #tuamre #tuamre s3e3 #tua mass rewatch extravaganza #tuamrepoll

[finniestoncrane]

💜🍴 Finnie's 1.5k Follower Event 🍴💚

CLOSED by health inspector

even though it felt like this took forever it really didn't because i've only been on here and writing for just over a year, and i'm so grateful that people still follow me despite my personality as a whole lmao, i wanted to do something silly and goofy so here's my prompt list for my milestone ;-; hello and welcome to the vill-inn, gotham's newest restaurant (and definitely 100% not a money-laundering front for nefarious rogue activity no sirree u-u) please come on in and peruse the menu and let us know what you want to eat!! send in your order + reader/insert gender/pronouns/genitals too! the restaurant is now closed as well as writing headcanons and drabbles, i'm also doing a little give away! so anyone who asks off anon (or not, check the specials menu below) i'll enter into a little silly draw for a 1k commission and pick 3 winners u-u 🔞minors dni🔞 • masterlist • kofi link • tag: finnie1500 (to follow or to block)

Hello, welcome to Vill-Inn, how will you be DIE-ning with us today?

Sit-In [drabbles/short fic]

Takeout [bullet-point/free form story/headcanon style]

Delivery [surprise me]

Great! Wonderful! What can I get you to drink? And don't say fear toxin! (I'm this close to quitting...) (pick 1)

Water [hurt/comfort]

Soda [angst]

Milkshake [fluff]

Signature Cocktail [smut/pwp]

Black Coffee [doesn't matter/surprise me]

And what will you be having for your MAIM course? (pick 1, feel free to specify the version)

Question Mark Shaped Nuggies [riddler]

Sushi Platter [penguin]

Pumpkin Ravioli [scarecrow]

Surf and Turf [two face]

Arroz con Pollo [bane]

Steak [victor zsasz]

Cucumber Sandwiches [mad hatter]

Garden Salad [poison ivy]

Gut Buster Burger [harley quinn]

Gazpacho [mr freeze]

Plain Noodles with Butter [john doe]

Gumbo [killer croc]

BBQ Platter [captain boomerang]

And what loyal side(kick)s are you having with that? (pick up to 4)

🍟 Regular Fries [waking up with them]

🧇 Waffle Fries [sex in a public place]

🍠 Sweet potato Fries [visiting them in Arkham/Blackgate]

➰ Curly Fries [only one bed]

🍁 Poutine [slow dancing]

🥔 Potato Skins [at a party]

🍕 Pizza Bites [tending to wounds]

🍗 Chicken Wings [confession/confessing feelings]

🍔 Sliders [exacting revenge]

🌭 Mini Dogs [hate/angry sex]

🍤 Popcorn Shrimp [hugs from behind]

🐔 Chicken Strips [oral sex/how they give and receive]

🍿 Cheese Popcorn [bite marks/marking kink]

🥒 Deep Fried Pickles [sloppy kisses]

🧅 Blooming Onion [being rejected]

🍘 Rice Crackers [choking]

🍞 Bread Rolls [blood play]

🧄 Garlic Bread [straddling]

🥖 Breadsticks [neck/wrist kisses]

🥪 Half Sandwich [giving/receiving praise]

🥣 Soup [argument]

🍜 Noodles [cuddles]

🍚 Steamed Rice [denial]

🦪 Oysters [rough sex]

🍣 Sushi Sampler [edging/orgasm denial]

🌽 Corn on the Cob [instructional masturbation]

🥕 Honey Glazed Carrots ["open your mouth"]

🥗 Green Salad ["do you need a hand?"]

🍅 Tomato Salad ["i have to go"]

🍏 Fruit Salad ["i shouldn't have to ask"]

🍆 Roasted Veg ["i've never done this before"]

🥦 Seared Broccoli ["i hate you"]

🧀 Cheese Platter ["it's too late"]

🍖 Meat Plate ["i've never wanted anything more"]

🍄 Sauteed Mushrooms ["do you want it rough or gentle?"]

🥑 Guacamole ["please don't leave"]

🥜 Toasted Peanuts ["i want to hear you"]

🥓 Bacon Bits ["i didn't say stop"]

💚 Specials Menu 💚

I'm Here For A Blind Date [tell me a bit about yourself and i'll do a character pairing for who you're having lunch with]

Can I Get A Seat At the Buffet? [i don't have an idea/want to ask off anon, but i want to be included in the draw - this message won't be answered]

thanks for visiting, and please feel free to tip your wait staff 💜

#finnie1500 #I’m hoping this inspires me to write a bit more!! I AM EXCITED #NOW LET US NEVER SPEAK OF MILESTONES AGAIN FOR AT LEAST FOUR YEARS HOPEFULLY #I kept looking at the follower account too much #finnie shouts into the void

[infinite-tournament]

The Rules

This is a winner-stays-on tournament, so don't expect any brackets. Every week (or whenever the mod remembers), a new contender will be put up against the current champion (which will be listed in the blog's description). If it wins, it becomes the new champion! If not, then the old champion remains until something beats it. In the case of a tie, the contender failing to beat the champion will be counted as a loss, and the champion will move on. There is no set end date for the tournament, and it is intended to continue indefinitely.

Submissions can be sent in here. Submissions sent to the ask box will not be counted. There is space to add propaganda and media if you wish to. There are no restrictions on what can be submitted. The next contender will be randomly selected from the current pool of submissions, though repeat contenders will have to wait a few weeks before they can re-challenge again.

Note: Submissions are put into polls unedited, and thus may include errors.

Previous contenders below the cut

sleep (The Beginning, Champion For 1 Week) Homestar runner from homestar runner (Lost Poll) the color purple (Champion For 3 Weeks) Chat Noir (from Miraculous Ladybug) (Lost Poll) alex eagleston/eggleston from yiik a postmodern rpg (Lost Poll) duck (Champion For 2 Weeks) vanilla extract (lost poll) Garlic bread (Champion For 1 Week) autism (Champion For 15 Weeks) Reigen Arakata from Mob Psycho 100 (Lost Poll) Infinity-Sided Die (Dungeons, Dungeons, and more Dungeons (Gravity Falls)) (Lost Poll) Gay sex (Lost Poll) sage green (Lost Poll) Timothy Stoker (The Magnus Archives) (Lost Poll) The Amazing Devil (band) (Lost Poll) The hit 2011 video game Minecraft (Lost Poll) Ford Prefect (hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy) (Lost Poll) Tom Scott (Lost Poll) The SD (super deformed) Gunpla line (Lost Poll) Heathcliff (Lost Poll) shitposts (Lost Poll) Sans Undertale (Lost Poll) Dire Crowley from twisted wonderland (Lost Poll) asexuality (Champion For 4 Weeks) Lord of the Rings (Lost Poll) bears in trees (band) (Lost Poll) piplup (pokemon) (Lost Poll) aromanticism (Champion For 2 Weeks) Raz from Psychonauts (Lost Poll) Clouds (Champion For 3 Weeks) RYAN GOSLING (Lost Poll) Mike Walters (Woe.Begone) (Lost Poll) lava lamp (Champion For 1 Week)

#tournament #introductory post #infinite tournament of everything #infinite tournament