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employee052 · 2 months

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ozzies long-ass TSP ramble

For context, a few days ago i was in a thinky mood when i watched this video on Valve catwalks. it mentioned death of the author, and while ive heard of it, I didnt understand what it meant until after the video explained it. So i got thinking. the following was a series of messages I sent to my friends on a discord server im in (with the exception of the last part bc i just thought of it now even tho im sick) that i compiled for yall into sections so its easier to read. these are just my thoughts and could be totally wrong, i just wanted to share aksjdh :P (plus this is my second time im posting this so there might be some inconsistencies)

(ramble under the cut so yall dont get a massive wave of text on your dash)

"smth smth death of the author smth smth reviews smth smth interpretations smth smth skip button"

like idk if this was obvious to everyone else n im just finally getting it or not, but the skip button ending being about the narrator seeing the negative reviews causing him to create the button in order to appease them, which said reviews ended up making him believe he was being preachy and obnoxious and unfunny, but as a result, he ends up believing it and trying to appease those interpretations rather than be more confident of his dialogue and what it means to him(whatever he may believe) and ending up dying at the end bc of it being a kind of literal version a death of an author of sorts

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im just thinking about how timekeeper/settings person/432/whatever is really only interested in the player, but not stanley himself. and if the narrator ends up dying (or decaying at least in my interpretation) during the skip button, could the same be said about stanley as a character as well?

like we never see stanleys model as us, we dont see his feet when we look down, and the only time we see him in game is either as a hand during the bucket escape pod ending, the mariella endings, and the not stanley ending. and the last two are cutscenes. for all we know, stanley could have died at some point during the skip button after the narrator did and we would never know bc we cant see him

but since 432's desk being at the end of the epilogue which happens post skip button ending, i would have said that was the first time we ever see him interact with the game internally rather than asking for the time. but i do remember someone suggesting that the timekeeper was the one who removed the door in the skip button in order to kill the narrator off and get stanley/the player away from him in order to talk more

with that thought in mind, that would mean TK had to kill stanley and the narrator off in order to be able to lead the game, push beyond the barriers of a narrator and character and just talk to the player, one on one

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it makes me wonder if what the curator said in the museum ending holds more weight

like, she talks to the player as well. both she and TK talk to the player themselves instead of stanley the character. and when she says "When every path you can walk has been created for you long in advance, death becomes meaningless, making life the same. Do you see now? Do you see that Stanley was already dead from the moment he hit start?"

stanley's function is a character in the narrators story, a literary device to propel the game forward. the narrator makes the race track, and stanley drives. without the narrator where would stanley go or do, without stanley who would move the story along?

"Can you see? Can you see how much they need one another? No, perhaps not. Sometimes these things cannot be seen."

and yet, hes dead, just like the curator said. because no matter what, he's never going to be able to truly make his own decisions. the confusion ending lays out how all the endings are scripted despite what the narrator believes and acts, its all predetermined.

and in a sense, the narrators dead too. no matter what stanley tries to do to change the story, or the narrator changes to the game in order for stanley to react to, its been planned long in advance for the eventuality. every word, every event. and with stanley's deaths, it ends up just bringing them back to the beginning again, "What exactly did the Narrator think he was going to accomplish?" if they always come back to the same preplanned paths, to the illusion of free will, it doesnt matter regardless. death doesnt become a statement, it becomes an inconvenience.

"But listen to me, you can still save these two. You can stop the program before they both fail. Push escape, and press quit. There's no other way to beat this game. As long as you move forward, you'll be walking someone else's path. Stop now, and it'll be your only true choice."

The only way to save both Stanley and The Narrator is by not letting the story play out to begin with. To beat the game, which means to let the game end after you win.

and yet,

the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is neve-

In a game where there is no ending that stops the game in its entirety, where everything will keep on happening again and again and the end is never the end, the only way to beat it is to make a choice as yourself the player, not stanley the character.

because he doesnt get a choice, the narrator doesnt get a choice. they think they do, but they dont. the only way to beat the game is to not play it. (which makes sense given that there are achievements involving not playing the game in both the 2013 HD remaster and 2022 Ultra Deluxe)

both Stanley and The Narrator are two sides of the same coin that make up The Stanley Parable, and the only way to use the coin is to give it away.

maybe thats why the true ending of the game with credits and stuff like that, is the Not Stanley Ending.

You the player have successfully broken the fourth wall from the outside in, even though that ending was planned like all the others (ie, the game allowing you to disconect the phone), you break the illusion of being stanley the character, which the game ends up booting you out of stanley as it cant handle the "narrative contradiction".

maybe thats why the escape pod ending has the sign that reads "both the player and the narrator must be present in order to leave". its not stanley, its the player, us.

maybe thats why that ending is one of the most cruel. the only way to get there is to leave the narrator trapped in the boss' office. there's no way to get him to the escape pod. the end is never the end.

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(this part was the new idea i just had today so this might not make sense i appologize)

going back to the beginning of this ramble about the death of the author and such. perhaps there is a way to get the narrator out.

with thoughts about interpretations and with he idea of the "death of the author", all of us have our own interpretations of the TSP characters. whether its design, or relationship wise, or characterization, or what have you. The Narrator in my head is different from you reading this, and that narrator is different from another persons perspective, and definitely our narrators are different to the one that lives in Davey Wreden's head, or Kevan Brighting, or anyone who has even heard of the stanley parable.

and that's not a bad thing! there can be many similarities to the characters that our interpretations share, some more common than others and some that make no sense at all, but for the most part we all have different interpretations of the characters.

I read a book called Book Simulator (The Reader's guide to not reading) by Chris Yee on stream once. The VOD is gone now. But I discovered the book because I heard the guy writing/the narrator of sorts for the book was written like the Stanley Parable Narrator.

It didnt help that Kevan brighting voiced over the commercial for it too askjdh

but back to the book. this will contain somewhat spoilers for it since it brings up a moment at the end of the book so feel free to stop here if you dont want to be spoiled

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basically, in Book Simulator, Booksi (The book's instructional narrator on how to fake read at the start of the book) is arguing with The Narrator (no not ours, but the general narrator who speaks in the third person), however, its revealed by The Narrator that Booksi has a plan to take over the world by inhabiting more book simulators and distributing them across the world. But, the reader could kill off the booksi that they have in their hands that they are reading, to quote:

"Or was he the original Booksi? Maybe not. Maybe the original Booksi had been vanquished long ago, and the reader was now facing one of the many copies roaming the world. Both Booksi and the Narrator knew the answer to this question, but neither would reveal the truth."

---

Taking from Book Simulator the concept of multiple iterations of one character existing in different copies of the media they originate from, maybe in a way that's how the Narrator may die in the stanley parable, forever stuck to repeat the same endings with the illusion of free will, but he lives on somewhat for everyone that has seen or heard of him in any capacity.

this may sound a bit preachy (oh the irony) but bare with me:

The Original Narrator from The Stanley Parable is dead, dead in the sense that he and Stanley are stuck within the game, given the illusion of free choice, and unable to leave nor do anything to try and escape, is also alive in the sense that we the players perception of The Narrator lives on in our minds.

The Narrator from the game might be stuck, but the Narrator i see in my head, the one i designed and draw and think of is perfectly fine and alive as ever.

and the same goes with you and anyone else who has heard of the narrator. their interpretation is still unique and different to them even if it all comes from the same media. he may not be exactly the same as the original, but hes still there. and in a way, hes free.

(man typing this last segment down makes me feel like a gd priest, and/or someone talking abt the barbie movie akjdhkjasdh so sorry if doesnt make sense at all :P)

#ozzies tsp rambles #ozzie rambles #tsp #tspud #the stanley parable #the stanley parable ultra deluxe #stanley parable #tsp narrator #tspud narrator #tsp stanley #tspud stanley #tspud timekeeper #tsp curator #tspud curator

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rigatoniiiiiiii · 1 year

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I posted this before but tumblr was being weird so I had to delete and then repost ^^’

So im curious about what R, Y, B, and G could have seen in the black hole during episode 30.

what do we know about the void?

- we know it’s mostly empty, except for the individual and a place/symbol of emotional importance to the person.

A good example of this is mango’s void, where it’s only him and an empty house, a place where mango spent most of his time planning vengeace and festering in rage and grief.

- usually the subject of the void has to deal with some sort of regret or inner struggle. For mango, it was his empty lonely house, with only himself and the angry violent pictures scribbled on the wall.

For purple, it was a completely dark and empty space, with the only light highlighting them and the petals falling around them. A reminder that they are completely alone, no father around and a dead mother.

- each of these voids/spaces are likely places where their deepest and most hurtful thoughts manifest their surroundings. And it’s hard to break through to these spaces, but it can be done, as mango demonstrated.

So, given what we know, what would RGBY’s voids be like? They were also in the void for a brief period of time before second was able to save the day, so what would they have seen?

Of course it’s all hypothetical, but I think it presents an interesting way to try and visualize and analyze each of the CG’s flaws and insecurities, and how they might find hope in response to that.

Reblog/share your theories!! I think this is very interesting. I’ll put my personal ideas under the cut, but go wild :)

Red: I think Red’s void would be about their character flaw of rushing into situations without thinking/letting others know about mews plan, and how their friende get hurt as a result of that. It could also be about how Red’s feelings have been continually dismissed by the CG (but specifically Second) and how Red feels because of that.

Blue: xer space would involve guilt over indirectly causing harm to his friends. Between the many accidents with potions, the nether incedents, the witch event, and starting off the S3 arc, he probably feels like xes done a lot of damage. Maybe he is afraid that they will get hurt/reject xem because of this.

Yellow: in past episodes, yellow’s power in situations has come from knowledge. For example, theres the entire arcade game episode, the lucky block episode, redstone, learning to fight with a command block. Yellow always wants to learn more, and the result of that curiosity and intelligence is the ability to help/give to yellows friends. So it would stand to reason that yellow would be very insecure and helpless in a situation where yellow couldn’t learn anything. There is no knowledge to be gained, no secret code or strategy to find a way out. But yellow can see the CG being hurt, and yet yellow is powerless and can’t help them. I imagine yellow would feel absolutely helpless.

Green: im.. honestly not too sure about green? It feels like there’s a lot to work with, and not enough to work with. I dont feel i have a good enough grasp on his character/insecurities. Some possible ideas i had were the amount of times green has died, or greens flaw of being a bit too show-offy. Green is definetly one I would like to hear everyone’s thoughts about!

And i know second didn’t get voided, so its even more hypothetical, but i think if second DID fall into the black hole, their space would either be about their powers (which would be confusing and distressing for him), about all their friends dying again like in the showdown and second being powerless to stop it, or maybe even himself being the reason its friends are hurt. However I also think second would be the first to break out of its void, and the first to get to their friends and bring them together, and tell them how much he cares for them, no matter what the void showed.

Anyways yeah thank you for reading!! Just some thoughts I had :) im curious to hear everyone’s theories!

Tagging @lunafandoms !

#animation vs minecraft #animator vs animation #ava #avm #alan becker #avm king orange #avm mango tango #ava purple #avm purple #ava green #avm green #ava red #avm red #ava yellow #avm yellow #ava blue #avm blue #ava the second coming #avm the second coming

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lovingdabeessss · 14 days

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i will keep that in mind. Tbh, I've actually started writing right after I asked if I could. I just kept taking breaks because horrible attention, and I was stuck in Blake's part until last night. Now I'm kinda stuck on the Blacksmith's part. I have no idea how to write them... Though I have started writing their part, it is somewhat slow going, because of unfamiliarness with the character and irl stuff like tests.

On an unrelated note. Can we talk about the fucking symbolism?? Parallels??? Between Yang's death in this au and Ruby's in canon??

Because in Ruby's eyes. Yang, who did nothing wrong, who did not indanger their team, was the reason for a *kingdom* falling, didn't cause Penny's *death*. Had chosen to ascend and come back as someone else.

Whereas *Ruby*, who *did* do all of those things, at least in Ruby's eyes, chose to *not* ascend and came back as herself!!

Can you tell I love these fictional sisters?

FUCK YEAH PARALLELS!!!!!!!!!

She has none of the reasons ruby decided to go to the tree and yet she’s the one who ended up gone

CRAZZYYYYYY

For the blacksmith thing I say make them as unsettling as possible go bananas do something crazy

Yang is so interesting in the sense of her motivation is more people based like she didn’t come out post v3 to save the world she left to go help Ruby and that just happened to be what they were doing and Yang goes 100% because that’s just how she is like of course she’s helping people what else would she be doing kinda thing

When she thought she was dead at the beginning she didn’t seem particularly upset about it she just was there was nothing else to do anymore she’s done she fulfilled her little life’s purpose of protecting Ruby and saving people along the way and she’s done now time to look for all the people who she knows who died or something

She was DEEPLY upset when the rest of her team was dead for obvious reasons especially because stopping Ruby from dying was WHY SHE DIED but whatever moving on

I think Yang sees living as a never ending list of things to do and people to love so she’s always doing something and caring about someone like her whole life she was taking care of Ruby then in beacon she was helping Blake and along the way she was working to be a huntress which came easy to her and it was all good then she was looking for Ruby and then she was defeating Salem (which she may or may not have ever thought was possible but I doubt she cares)

Then she dies and she’s just

Done

She was in a good place to not want to die but I don’t know how much the thought bothered her cause of how risky she’s always known being a huntress is

But when she went to the ever after there was something to do and it was ascend

So of course

She did that

I think maybe Ruby has always hated how Yang reacts to her own danger

Because Ruby and Yang love each other so much but they actively exist in each others worst issues in a way that’s almost fine cause it’s them

Ruby abandoned Yang after she lost her arm but Yang was never mad at her she never even saw it like that she should’ve been able to follow her (plus Ruby’s thought her semblance was running away for the longest time)

Yang sacrifices herself all the time especially for Ruby and Ruby’s biggest thing is being abandoned unintentionally (as a parallel to Yang intentional abandonment problem) like through death however it’s their dynamic it’s what they do Yang will always do this because she’s her older sister

I love their parallels

ALSO IM SO SO SO EXCITED TO READ WHATEVER YOU MAKE HEHEHHEHEHEE

I’m so excited to see your take on how she’d be feeling and how everyone reacts and just everything I’m just so excited to see it and all your interpretations

I love when people make stuff of my posts ss

#rwby #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #ruby rose

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demonstars · 23 days

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hii im starting to get into poetry and i trust your taste so i was wondering who your favorite authors/poets are ? if you don’t mind :)

oh my god this is so sweet WISHING YOU WELL ON YOUR JOURNEY. i'll list you my top five (english) poets here, they're really excellent so you have something to start from but what i really recommend is that once you find one poet/poem and check out their other works AND if they've worked on anthologies/shared what their favorite poems are. ok ok So

hanif abdurraqib — he has beautiful essays on living and dying and how you make your place in the world and i genuinely think on summer crushing saved my life—and his ways of webbing words together just shows its prime in poetry. heavely recomment it's not like nikola tesla knew all of those people were going to die and, if you can, listen to him read it

ada limon — LOVE HER TO DEATH. one of the first poets I ever read in my life when starting to understand english and it changed my fucking life. it, being what i didn't know before which is just like one of those poems that just hit you like a trunk. one of the most beautiful gifts i've ever received is a copy of her bright dead things (book), so i must recommend state bird. it's not even her best poem (that goes to dead stars and no it's not because i'm obsessed with them) in my opinion it's just representative of everything I love about her writing. also she is currently working on an anthology that i am so excited to read and discover new poets through that!!

richard siken — well. y'know. Like y'know. I JUST NEED EVERYONE TO MOVE ON FROM CRUSH OR GET BETTER AT JUST LOOKING AT HIM FROM DISEMBOWELED QUOTES POSTED FOR CLOUT. read poetry it made me cry. I need more people to get excited with me when he posts a new one pleaseeeeeeeeeee @RICHARDSIKEN I KNOW YOU HAVE PROBLEMATIC THOUGHTS ON AI I STILL WANT YOU.

hera lindsay bird — one of Those poets that will just let you a bit confused and fascinated. I think I've reread the entire catalogue of poems on her blog at least thrice because I really liked them and couldn't articulate exactly why!!! I still struggle!!! Gotta link I AM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU I WANT TO LIE DOWN cause yeah yeah we've all seen major public intersection. i want her self titled collection so bad. also pamper me to hell and back. aka all her published work. speech time changed my life when i was 16. she has a dnf poem. GREAT POET.

June Gehringer — can't even express it with words how much i love her. i get genuine rsd over her work being misinterpreted and flattened specially with fucking twitter reposters Shoutout my priv mutuals last year who supported me annoying one of those 10k fake deep accounts to give her credit. anyway. THANK GOD FOR PEACH MAG. I DO GET SO JEALOUS OF EUTHANIZED GODS. recs is The universe collapses waoo.... she has a very good one on grief and transnesss that i KNOWWWW i posted here but i can't find it should i die. ugh so frustating

and here is Others that I couldn't include because I just realized i need to be my friend's house in two hours and I am not yet ready with my assignment but you should DEFINITELY check out: . Lisel Mueller. Mahmoud Darwish, Anne Sexton. frank o'hara. gabrielle calvocoressi. Matthew Olzmann. chen chen. OKAY HOPE THIS HELPED!!!!!!!

#star anons

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liverobinreaction · 1 year

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🖊️, 🌈 (banshee in a well), 💻 ?

IM SORRY I KNOW THIS IS OVER A MONTH LATE, i lost the original ask post and it took me ages to find it BUT I FOUND IT so boom! late but here

ask game here

🌈 What inspired you to write banshee in a well?

basically, i had just been thrown head first into the batman fandom and was scouring through ao3 for things to read, before i kind of. ran out. this was during the weeks i was meant to be studying and writing an essay, and i was doing literally anything except that, so i had a lot of time on my hands. now, ive always been a sucker for fake character death and angst, so i decided hey, why not shove my newest blorbo tim into something like that! initially, it was going to be a one shot where tim was trapped in a collapsing building and was crushed to death, only to crawl his way out eventually while the bats were looking for his body. i wrote the beginning, and then when i looked back up i had 10k words and a completely different plot. and so banshee in a well was born.

💻 Do you do research for your fics? What’s the deepest dive you’ve done?

yes and no! i try to actively avoid writing stuff that requires a lot of technical knowledge because im a) lazy, and b) easily distractible. the moment i start researching when i want to write means i tend to fall down a wikipedia rabbit hole and end up with knowledge about 9th century chinese concubines. do not ask. BUT that doesnt mean i never do it, especially if im writing about a specific culture or religion. for example, i did some research into jewish funeral practices for banshee in a well, and read some articles by rabbis about whether you need to sit shiva for neglectful parents.

ive also been doing a bit of research into stomach cancer atm for 'and you know this will be gone in the morning'. i also absolutely got on a watch list while looking up other things for banshee, such as: how long does it take for blood to be deoxygenated, how do you get down from a noose, can you survive a ruptured lung.

🖊 Post a snippet from a current WIP.

here's a bit from my generational depression fic 'To Find Forgiveness In The Weeds' (cw: depression and suicidal thoughts). thanks for the ask!!!

There isn’t really any sort of final straw. Maybe it would be better if there was some kind of definitive moment that he could point to and say ‘there, that’s where it all started, that’s what made me this way’. He almost wishes there was a catalyst like that, because then it would be a lot easier to explain away most of it. But Tim’s life has never been straightforward, so instead, it goes like this:

At 8am in the morning on a Tuesday, as he’s getting ready for work, Tim looks into the mirror while adjusting his tie, and realises that he doesn’t want to be alive anymore.

A mental breakdown would be easier. This sort of quiet realisation doesn’t really give much way to screaming and crying, nor is there anything he can even do with it. Granted, he’s always thought of dying in some sort of manner, but he’s never bluntly admitted to himself that he’d prefer to be dead. Most of the time, it shows up in an abstract, distant way. The temptation of a high rooftop, the ease of a subway track, the simplicity of a rope. Sometimes he’ll see death traps and feel a pull towards it. Not an active wish, so much as a temptation. A soft, gentle thought of ‘I’m tired. Wouldn’t it be nice to be dead?’

But it’s always been chased away, the logistics of actually dying and their impact keeping him away from ledges and chairs. The clean-up would be such a hassle, his brain would point out, and he’d agree. Someone would have to scrape him off the floor or tracks if he was selfish enough to do it in public, and that’s not even mentioning the traumatised passer-by’s. Ultimately, killing himself would cause more trouble than it’s worth, and that’s always been enough for him to ignore those thoughts and chalk them up to a flight of fancy or a call to the void rather than genuine suicidal ideation.

There’s none of that when he looks in the mirror and consciously acknowledges that maybe, just maybe, Tim doesn’t really want to live anymore. That, if given the chance, he can’t confidently say he wouldn’t take such an opportunity.

It’s a strange thought to have, and he finally lets his hands drop away from his tie as he observes himself. He’s seen suicidal people before, of course, both as Tim Drake and Robin and Red Robin. He watched as Bruce threw himself into deadlier and deadlier fights, uncaring of the consequences. He’s gently talked to people shivering on the edge of a skyscraper, eyes screaming for help despite their hollowness.

He doesn’t really fit that image, though logically, he knows that depression takes different forms. And that’s another thought that stops him and makes him furrow his brow. Is he depressed? Depression tends to cause suicidal ideation, so it would make sense, but once again, he’s never needed a therapist or broken down in tears from sadness.

He takes a few steps back to perch on his unmade bed. Messiness is a sign of depression, he remembers, but he’s always been messy. His father was the same way.

Except...

He glances around his room, frowning at the overflowing waste basket, the crumpled up cans and balled up protein wrappers. Clothes are haphazardly dumped into a corner, because he rarely has the energy to put them away. There’s dust everywhere except his bed, bathroom and desk, and kitchen roll still sticks to a spot on the carpet where he spilled some soda and forgot to clean it up.

It isn’t exactly the expected luxury penthouse of a CEO.

His room in Wayne Manor had been untidy, but it was the general clutter of a distracted teenager. He would still throw trash away, would dust and mop up spills when needed, because Alfred had enough on his plate already and tidying their rooms had always been their own responsibility.

His apartment, however, is messy in a way that indicates he’s stopped caring.

The thought is quiet in his mind, but it’s enough to stop everything else.

Has he?

Has he stopped caring?

#long post #bug replies #ask #anonymous #ask game #my writing #to find forgiveness in the weeds #banshee in a well #tw suicide

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wooahaes · 1 year

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dino soulmate au !! i don't have a specific trope in mind, but im curious to see which one you think fits him best :D

hii <3 hmm... technically dino was where i left off on my soulmate series (which is currently paused until i finish either sweet night (more likely) or under the sun (unlikely lol), then i'll try to finish out those fics before i start a new series), so i'll avoid what i've got planned for him there

(death tw, will tag the post w this as well)

ill play around w a lil bit of angst. reader has lost the soulmate that they were dating ever since they met in high school bc (insert cause of death here). not even minutes after he's dead, the name lee chan writes itself across the back of their hand. out of resentment for the universe immediately pairing you up right after you lose the love of your life, you resolve to keep the stupid name covered as much as you can and never meet this lee chan the universe is replacing your soulmate with.

elsewhere, chan realizes that there's a name written up his forearm that he didn't have before. a certain percentage of ppl are born w/o soulmates, and chan always thought he was one of them until now. he probably excitedly shows it off to his friends (only abt half of which have soulmates imo bc i like having a mixed bag there), and they promise to let him know if they happen to run into someone w his own name on them.

enter jeonghan, currently going through practicum to become a licensed therapist. enter, you on a summer day without a bandage on the back of your hand and his friend's name contrasting your skin in neat lettering. also enter the fact that jeonghan can't say/do anything about giving out your information because of violations, so he's stuck trying to figure out how he can lead you or chan to one another.

ultimately, he figures out a way: you mumble one day a week or two later that your favorite coffee shop is closed for renovations because you'd always treat yourself with something sweet from there, jeonghan asks if he can make a suggestion, and he pushes you toward one of chan's favorite places before immediately getting both seungkwan and vernon on the task of getting chan there. you end up sitting in the corner to kinda just people watch and chill post-therapy session and wait on your drink. your name gets called out, and you notice the way another guy's head snaps up immediately. you retreat to your corner with your drink, only to hear the name lee chan read out soon enough and you aren't taking any chances. you get up to leave, and immediately the guy tails you out and asks for you to stop before rolling his jacket sleeve back to reveal where your name is boldly written along his arm.

you tell him you aren't interested. he's immediately heartbroken by that kind of talk, but asks for your number anyway because he'd at least like to be your friend if nothing else. you give it to him after making it clear you aren't looking for a new lover, and then leave.

and idk insert more stuff abt you and chan getting closer until you finally open up and mention tht ur in grief counseling bc of ur soulmate dying and that you'd always hated chan (as a concept--you like him now as a person) because it wasn't even five minutes before his name appeared on you. he apologizes, you tell him not to bc its not his fault, and the two of you agree to take ur friendship slow.

insert chan feeling guilty as he falls for you. insert u feeling guiltier because you fell harder after that and you try to push him away again. fic culminates in you admitting to him or to a friend that you're terrified of losing another soulmate. maybe its w a family member of deceased soulmate who reassures you that he would want you to be happy before asking if it had been you, wouldn't you want him to move on one day? it ends w you crying on them and apologizing because you feel like ur betraying ur first soulmate, but accepting that its okay to move on.

its just a lot of talk abt grief and whatnot lol with a side of chan helping you heal because he wants to be there for you, romantic feelings or not. you confess to him that you've fallen for him and ask to take things slow now and the fic ends off with the two of you going to get coffee together or something

#wooahaes.ask #wooahaes.askgame #sweetteawithpeach #death tw #sorry this one is longer lol im admittedly a sucker for a soulmate au

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rottingsparrow · 2 years

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Part 4! Of rereading Lore Olympus. Ep 31-40

Gotta be real I keep forgetting to post these even tho I'm reading them but it's fine. Obviously I won't finish before the end of the 2 week break (this Saturday) but after this I may start reviewing episodes as they come out, who knows. Last part:

Ep 31

Theres so many other reasons you shouldnt work together but ok

Also shes literally so smart right like thats canon

Artemis is cool hera,,,sometimes

Which two sons i wish i knew the lo family tree as opposed to the real one yknow

How do heras powers work she felt her pain but doesnt know who??

I would kill for a comprehensive list of family tree and powers, dont even have to spoil powers just please i get so confused

Ep 32

Train ur fuckin dogs hades i think ive said that before

He changed skin color again but like not just light vs dark thats a whole diff shade of blue

Hehe threaten low class workers so cute and quirky hades

Why is uh psyche/whatever her nymph name is wearing more traditional clothes while not in the mortal realm

Love the dog

Hades has a point, even tho it makes no sense for him to have said that

Ok also point out in the like future episode he wants persephone to call him Aidoneus but doesnt like when others do it why

Thats my same thing with him calling her Kore like i know in the future its like explained or whatever but idk

Aphrodite has a point it was a favor in a way

A dumb way but yknow

I remember everyone losing it over the “im only interested in the dead ones” panel but looking at it its so lame LMAO changed his entire face shape for a panel

Ep 33

HECATE HECATE WOOOO

Im but a simple man

Hades texts like an old man i know he is one but

Also i am dying to know how his business works including as the god of the underworld like. Give me something

Then again, maybe i am a lil dumb when it comes to this

I always thought he was giving the little elevator friend a sugarcube lmao

I like how minthes ears react to her emotions

Stop fighting at work omg this would be the worst place to work at

“Hey can u do ur job”

Ep 34

Why this subplot ugh

The crown floats yet is sideways after she hits him

Also haha hitting

Also their relationship does confuse me just a tad bit yknow

All the clues were there hades you dumbass

“Cancel all my meetings” DO YOUR JOB

“This doesnt affect you in the same way” cause hes a man or a king or both but also kings seemed to get treated the same by their subjects until they are dicks and excute their power

From what ive seen

Then again we havent seen poseidon do that but that brings me to the point of I wanna see poseidon realm

thats . so creepy hades ew

“Smth must be done about this” like fair legal action right?....right?

Who reads newspapers these days anyways wait a second

Ep 35

See the laptop having news makes more sense like sure we make newspapers but ppl dont use em as often

“Biochemistry Theory” fun fact I switched majors to specifically avoid taking chemistry

What are they typing he just started speaking

What type of nymph is thetis bc i know minthe is a river nymph but thetis has fancy ears

They are so mean to each other lmao

The financial situation and the fact that they both are like sleeping with the kings confuse me why do both of them do it.

Like retrospectively i understand it but when i first read it i was like “are nymphs supposed to be like hookers??” so i was lost for a bit

“Hades micromanages computer usage” oh what a shit boss

Also the meal ticket she has a job sure hades gave it to her but

Idk maybe im slow

What an awful way to do a heart shape i just tried it wtf

“Crying is for wives” damn

Yes body issues that dont get brought up again right? Like she all of a sudden gets bigger boobs and i dont think hades pays ppl enough for cosmetic surgery

You guys know this is a work setting

Has rachel ever had a job bc this feels like a comical trope seen on tv the workplace drama yknow

LMAO IN THE LAST PANEL RACHEL FORGOT TO GIVE HER NYMPH EARS

Like fully normal ears i know its a mistake but its funny

Ep 36

“Not my circus not my monkeys” queen

Hades is it not your circus how dont involve hecate in this

“Stop starin at me with them big ol eyes”

Oof that does not look good on you, i mean why didnt you give her the coat

“I thought you didnt get jealous” ok she may have said that but literally everything about her contradicts that

And i love this part bc he doesnt call her crazy and they talk, i mean he hides some of the truth which like fuck him, and then they try to talk about the party and

Ugh i know minthe is supposed to be an antagonist but rachel does this weird thing where she tries to flesh her out, then realizes it would be an easy set up for a redemption arc and screws her over again

I know the ppl in the mortal realm are generally frightened of hades but why are ppl in olympus

“I wouldnt expect anything less from a goddess” so we are going to bring in the racism/speciesism that occurs in this story right

Its the middle of the day isnt he supposed to be in the mortal realm moving the sun or some shit

Ep 37

“Last night” Rachel its ok to space things out sweetie

Ok ok so one thing i hate about her characterization of apollo is he goes from being delusional to knowing what he did was at least slightly wrong and i hate both are fine stories but pick one he either is so infatuated with persephone that he thinks that they had a great time or he wants her for her power

And! A transition from one to the other would be fine, but she goes back in forth in his characterization

Little red vines look cool

Hehe cerberus

How did he escape tho

I love that dog

Ep 38

Oh its the greenhouse again

But this time it represents the evil feeling?

Idk but i like eye symbolism im lame lol

Why was she sleeping in the chair

When did she get those clothes i dunno if eros would buy her business casual

Artemis really sees all the signs and then goes “meh”

Like points out the possible crush on persephone just connect the dots they are so close

Why is there not more than one door

Why is no one getting off

How does rachel think train stops work

Ep 39

Also not thatanos with an undercut lmao

Ope its thanatos i mixed it up

Also minthe you just actively arent doing a good job like lmao how are you not getting fired

Hades smoking a cigar is so old and gross tbh

What an awful boss

That man has a point dont stand infront of the door

She gave her a little flower nice

Minthe i know ur being spiteful, weird bc hades explained shes just the daughter of a friend( i know its a lie but still) but just do your job

“It says restricted access but that lady says it was fine” i would just wait until someone came out theres no reason to go inside

Ep 40

Why would they not have a lock on this place actually

Why wouldnt she just leave the way she came

When did hades put on his glasses

How is it hades fault what

So many questions yknow for such a short episode

Also does this place not have security cameras in places that are tartarus

#anti lore olympus #lore olympus #my opinion #random thoughts #lore olympus critical #lo critical

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silvysartfulness · 2 years

Note

sorry to bother, but I recently re-read the last chapter of Heaven has a Road, (36 for future reference), and I don't even know how to phrase my question here. Did/Do you have a clear idea of what was going on through Xue Yang's head? (I think you know exactly when I'm talking about), did/do you have something from his perspective? are we getting some insight into his head and what this meant to him in future chapters? speaking of, is there a ETA? cause Im DYING over here, checking my mail daily

Never a bother! I love getting to talk about Heaven Has A Road - people asking questions about it really help boost my inspiration/motivation! ♥

I'm assuming you mean the last scene, with SongXue..? There will definitely be more of whatever the hell that is up ahead! Both Song Lan and Xue Yang are approaching the "post-incident" morning in their own very different ways - it's definitely shifted their relationship dynamics in a way they both wrestle with, and will keep wrestling with for quite some time!

As for the scene itself, what went through Xue Yang's head started as anger and frustration at not only being filthy but having to rely on an enemy to help him get clean, and then equal parts furiously resenting and helplessly enjoying that physical touch, the illusion of closeness and care - he's every bit as touch starved as Xiao Xingchen, and he hasn't been getting hugs and kisses to take the edge of it. Probably more furious at himself and his body for reacting as it does than Song Lan, though.

But then, once Song Lan turns out to actually be equally aroused... That's a game-changer! Suddenly there's a chance to actually get some of that physical touch - distraction, pleasure, release...

But he knows how easy it is to piss Song Lan off - the uptight lump takes offense at anything! - so he consciously opts to keep his mouth shut and just let Song Lan take the reins, as it were. Trying to vibe as much as he possibly can that he's all for this, without actually saying anything crass enough to make the prissy daoshi run away.

And for all that the sex itself wasn't great, getting to have it was amazing. Doesn't matter all that much with whom, or the circumstances, or that it hurt - it knocked him right out of the angry/hurt/hopeless thought spirals in his head for a few blissful moments, and was exactly what he needed.

... Only problem now being that he wants more of where that came from, and Song Lan will not be very easy to convince to go a second round. XD

I drew this image for a scene from next chapter - Xue Yang greeting Song Lan the next morning, tousled and smouldering, wearing nothing but Song Lan's robes... It may be good Song Lan is already dead, or he might just have suffered a heart attack. ♥

As for next update... I just got the chapter back from my beta, so in theory, once I've made the suggested edits, it'll be ready to go! I do, however, want to finish another one for my buffer pile before I post 37, and don't have a chapter image ready either... So realistically, probably not this week. Maybe next one, if I can finish a chapter image before I leave town next weekend - I can write away from home, but the laptop isn't powerful enough to run Photoshop.

So your guess is as good as mine? 😂

I am still steadily writing ahead, though (currently at 228k 😬) so hopefully soon!

#asksilvy #the happy songxuexiao roadtrip story

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asterekmess · 3 years

Note

Heyo! So I’ve been in the sterek fandom for quite some time now and I’ve been wondering about how you would describe stiles’ personality?

I’ve never actually sat down and watched a full episode of teen wolf (and honestly I’m not sure if I ever will considering everything I’ve heard about how they treat derek and his history but idk who knows I’m very curious in a lot of the plot lines and character development), and a lot of the stuff I know about the show I’ve scraped from fics, gifs, and meta posts

For me personally, Stiles’ personality and characterization is so fluid and nuanced that sometimes I have trouble pinning him down (tho derek doesn’t have trouble with that *wink wink*) So I would love to hear your thoughts! Sorry for the long ask, this grew legs and an ugly mug shdhdhhdjdcj anyhow have a great day :D

Well, everybody's got different perspectives and opinions on Stiles' personality, honestly. Even when you try to stick to 'canon' things, there's a lot of room for interpretation on the why when he does things, or what it says about him as a person, etc etc etc.

Personally, I see canon Stiles as kind of an asshole. I mean, I love him, and he does some incredible things, and he's clearly got an intense love for those close to him. But I do make him kinder in fics, or I at least make him regret being a dick.

In canon, we're given a Stiles who cracks 'dead baby' jokes (he's talking about human sacrifice, so the conversation was already plenty morbid. This wasn't out of the blue.) Who begs for Scott to let Jackson die (though it's made clear that this wasn't serious, and he later works to save Jackson's hide like ten times over), and who will mercilessly poke and prod at people's insecurities or painful pasts, especially when worked up. Isaac's previous abuse isn't a no-go topic. Derek having 'dated' (read: been assaulted at worst and at best, been lied to) serial killers isn't something he's going to tread lightly around. He doesn't try to soften things to save someone's feelings most of the time.

He's presented as someone who is incredibly impulsive, with his emotions, words, and actions. It's kind of implied this is because of his ADHD, but that doesn't explain how often the impulsively cruel or harsh things he says aren't retracted or apologized for, or just generally regretted. Yes, ADHD people are impulsive, and yes sometimes our mouths get away from us and we can end up saying some Fucked Up shit to people because we literally couldn't control the words coming out. But that doesn't mean we're cruel or evil or mean. We still feel bad for doing those things, and those of us who are decent people, try to fix or repair what we've messed up. I am...not a fan of how often ADHD is used as an excuse to make a character a dickhead because "he has no filter." No filter means we struggle to control our thoughts and what we say, it doesn't make us heartless.

So, when I'm writing him, I fix it. Even if he still Does something fucked up, I have him care that he did it. I have him realize what he did or said wasn't okay and respond to that knowledge in some way. Which to some people, means I'm just ignoring what a fucker he is, but imo it feels like a horrible fuckup on the creator's parts, so I'm just correcting the mistake. He's no less Stiles just bc I taught him to say sorry.

Anyway. I'm trying NOT to ramble here.

To answer your question, as best I can; Stiles is sarcastic. Stiles is passionate to a fault. His emotions are BIG, whatever they are. Good, Bad, or even apathy. Whatever feelings he has are just intense. He is very much a no gods, no kings, no masters, kind of man. There isn't really an 'authority' to him, except maybe his dad sometimes. He puts family, and those he considers family, First. But that doesn't mean he isn't selfless. Because he is. Incredibly so. Uncomfortably so.

He walks into gasoline for his friends. He puts himself in the position of losing the only parent he has left, for his classmates. He cares enough about strangers to insist a drunk girl he's spoken to for five minutes max stay hydrated and give her a bottle of water. He literally handed over his mind on a platter to a fox demon for someone he barely fucking knew, to keep her safe.

Loyal. Humorous. A fighter. Family-oriented. Clever. Passionate. Strong, physically, mentally, and emotionally. And a very good liar, in my opinion.

He doesn't lie very well in the show, not to people's faces. He'll stumble around a "I haven't seen him since the last time I saw him" or "are you asking me to tell you what I would have told you if I were going to tell you it?" but at the same time, he can repress and hide away his feelings and his pain in a way not even Derek manages.

He asked Caitlin questions about her girlfriend, and worked to solve the human sacrifices, literal minutes after finding out he'd just lost his oldest friend. He drove Lydia to the warehouse to save Jackson after having the shit beat out of him by a man who'd been learning to cause pain since he was a CHILD. And he never gives away how incredibly broken he is for more than a couple seconds. and it's a little frightening, because he convinces people in this show who are lie detectors that he's okay, when he's a fucking mess. Even Derek shows his pain.

You're right that he's nuanced, and part of that is because when you see him in meta or in fic, what you're seeing is a dozen versions of him sort of compressed into a flat image. Because he changes throughout the show, and while some of his core personality stays the same, a lot of stuff changes. So one fic might harp on his insensitivity, and callousness toward Isaac or how easily he says "just let them die" when talking about Derek or someone else. And then another will dive into how fucking far he's willing to go, travelling all the way to mexico and facing down a hunter clan a dozen times more powerful than the argents with no one but a banshee at his side, just to get Derek back. Or how he saw Malia hurting and sat with her on a couch and held her hand. One is a much earlier version of Stiles, from the start of the show, the other from his midpoint. Near the end, you're able to say that he was so torn about leaving Derek while he was dying, he had to be Begged to go save Scott. That he manipulated an ENTIRE FBI investigation in order to save and protect Derek. (im focusing on derek bc sterek, but also bc his relationship with Derek is the Biggest Arc he has in the show, and the most solid)

You're going to read about different versions of him, and I totally get how that's confusing.

We all sort of bleed ourselves into him and either bring certain canon characteristics to the forefront, or straight up add our own so he's more relatable to us.

So while I can't really help you pin down any specific Stiles, just know that there's not really a 'true' Stiles that anyone can confirm or deny. It's all just perception, so however you see him, go with it. Strengthen it. Explore it. I'm sure you'll find people who see what you do.

#personal #meta ramblings #go for it

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ruby-whistler · 3 years

Note

Alright curious anon here. All this is /dsmp /rp from here on out unless otherwise specified and is refering to characters. If i make any mistakes or am misinformed please let me know! So by the cat was nothing compared to mushroom henry i was meaning more toward the fact that the cow was killed as a punishment for something not worth or ok for it to be killed for at all and the fact that it belonged to tommy, wheareas the cat was killed more to annoy dream and belonged to tommy. (1/?)

alright then another lengthy reply, here i come! /lh /dsmp /rp

Dream also did not seem to mourn the cat much, shrugging it off with a "just more motivation to break out".

it was killed to hurt dream, not to "annoy him". it doesn't matter who it belonged to, c!dream was attached to it and it died, which had an effect on him and also further proved his point about attachments being weakness and caring getting you hurt, and it's still very sad.

you say that it was not ok at all to kill mooshroom henry, but the cat's death wasn't ok either, so i really don't see your point.

again, i disagree it was "nothing compared to" either way. i never meant to compare them in the first place, i was simply talking about the cat and c!dream so i don't see why it is in any way necessary to drag c!tommy and other dead pets into this. /nm

also, it isn't true he didn't mourn it. he is a very reserved person who doesn't show his feelings much, that's true, but the cat death still changed the way he acted afterwards, as well as the attempts he made to prevent it. he didn't "shrug it off", he yelled about it because he was understandably upset.

You mentioned that propganda was used to make dream seem like a tyrant, could you specify a bjt? Cus im a little confused srry /gen. Because the most i can remember from the lmanburg era at least is him being called a b'tch or other similar insults. You also mentioned how trauma responses can be differet which is true! I agree! Do you have any ideas to what caused dream the trauma?

wilbur would continuously make him out to be some sort of oppressive, tyrannical force, in front of his troops - a prime example of this being the lyrics of the l'manberg anthem itself and the l'manberg declaration of independence.

actually! here's a nice thread about l'manberg's establishment complete with links, timestamps and evidence :]

i also said in my previous post what could've possibly caused it, but since the character intentionally hides his emotions from the public, it would be difficult to see how things really affected him - which is why the way his spiral went is the majority of the evidence that would imply it, however it does make sense within the story as well with what i mentioned last time.

I would like to note that for sapnap at least had reason to leave dream. Some examples off the top of my head are dream leading an angry fundy to sapnap's pets on purpose, resulting in some deaths, dream assisting tommy in burning down sapnap's effiel tower where he got engaged to karl, and dream giving tommy either mars or the other fish at the battle of the lake. Idk about george tho other then the whole mexican lmanburg/el rapids thing and decrowning him

c!sapnap was actually at fault for most of this, and it wasn't really ever betrayal on c!dream's part.

c!dream is a mediator and he wants to stop everyone's conflict - c!fundy was angry because of c!sapnap's actions, and hence it made more sense for c!dream to centre him on c!sapnap's animals instead of running around killing everyone's pets (at that time, all c!dream knew was c!sapnap did something really bad and c!fundy wanted beckerson / mars from him, which were also his and c!george's fish).

c!sapnap was an instigator, and in multiple conflicts during the time as well as before he'd align himself against c!dream. he isn't "loyal" per se, he causes chaos and the reason c!dream helped c!tommy was because, c!sapnap, again, killed his pet. the first l'manberg war and then the 16th are signs of the fact that c!dream and c!sapnap were willing to fight together in actual war, but these small conflicts where c!sapnap continuously picked fights weren't about personal loyalty, nor did they seem to affect their relationship at all.

c!george was never really hurt by c!dream either. the dethronement was him very obviously being a guilt-trippy drama queen, but, well, that's just the character. he had stolen the l'mantree while he was supposed to be the diplomatic figure of the greater smp, which is why c!dream was justified in - very politely, may i mention - taking the duties off of him (seeing as he was also trying to keep him safe and c!techno had already assassinated him once).

Im pretty sure i remember cc!sam stating that his character never canonically physically tortured dream during his subathon but take this with a grain of salt as i am looking for the clip currently. So to the best of my knowledge dream did not have a physical contact trigger during tommy's visit which! I rewatched the vod and dream actually was first to hit tommy and i can give you my full writing downs but 10/12 of the phy-

you never finished this point because you had to go do something, but i'll reply to what is here at the moment (i suggest writing these down before sending next time, or even writing them out wholly before sending a single one could help avoid stuff like this).

i am 95% sure that the reason cc!sam stated this was because people were suspicious he had already been doing what c!quackity was doing after - torture within the storyline itself is associated pretty much only with what c!quackity is doing, so that's what he meant, just to clear up confusion - the starvation or terrible conditions haven't been retconned, but it was direct torture (like c!quackity is doing) people were asking him about.

i never said c!dream had a physical contact trigger at all, i don't think he had that, though he probably will after the torture.

huh, ok, i'm gonna have to rewatch then, but i remember c!tommy punching c!dream a lot and him just telling him to stop and only punching back to get him to stop. trigger or not, getting hit isn't very pleasant, if you know what i mean.

You mentioned tommy stealing dream's armor unprovoked. Do you have the vod or a general idea of the time so i can find it? Like before lmanburg after another event so and so because if you do not have it i can find it but any help is appreciated.

i am pretty sure you can find the video on cc!tommy's channel! there are also recaps of the disc war on youtube :]

I wanna talk a little on why the Final Control Room was so messed up. For starters, with the way the room was designed. It was small, and had labeled, empty chests with each person's name on them as a mockery. The next reason is that its bascially a kill box.

It's fairly inescapble with the stairs being ones you have to jump up, slowing anyone who climbs them down. The final reason it is messed up is that it is shown to have caused every person who died in it trauma. With tommy there are several examples, the time he saw it with techno, the way he refuses to go near it, the exposure trauma, etc. Fundy also appears to have trauma, as when the Red Banquet executions began, it can be seen as him being afraid of dying last again.

It can Be thought as tubbo having trauma because he buries most of his issues and pretends to be ok. Moreover this event took at least one of each person's canon lives, making it the most canon lives lost EVER in a dream smp event. (This is not hate on any of the ccs btw i loved this scene and its one of my personal favorites). Plus the fact Eret's betrayal just literally happened, giving at least Tommy and Wilbur canonic trust issues.

i wouldn't call the chests mockery? it was a trap. people had traps on the smp before. it was a trap in the middle of war, supposed to end said war by killing them all at once rather than individually which would be a lot more bloody and difficult.

i agree c!tommy and other people might have post-war trauma, especially if they were young during the time, but i think that's because the final control room was "messed up", moreso because the war itself was. it all happened fairly instantly as well? i don't think c!fundy would be able to realize he was the last one standing within the two second before he wasn't.

it "can be thought" and it can be interpreted like that but besides c!tommy there isn't much evidence for them "all" being traumatized by the final control room. of course betrayal would spark trust issues, i understand that.

The probation was humiliating in my opinion because dream was Sending tommy anatgonizing messages through out the whole meeting, plus he had to write a review of his day every single day, which fundy mocked him for.

i mean, it was definitely a strike to his pride, but he was being extremely uncooperative so i don't really blame the other members of new l'manberg trying to teach him to listen for once? of course i know c!dream was riling him up, and that should definitely be considered. i don't think it would be as humiliating if c!tommy didn't make it, is what i'm saying.

for the tommy being toxic to fundy? At least for the examples you gave, to me personally they come acoross as either in a meta way being the cc's bantering or in canon being the characters having banter. If you can send the post with the clips so i can read the tone better that would be cool but if not i will try and find em.

no, these were all in canon. canon isn't only when c!tommy is being nice, it's also when he's being a jerk. /lh

the first one was him threatening c!fundy about kicking him out of l'manberg and undermining his self-worth, and the second one was him trying to get c!sapnap to vote for them via bullying c!fundy.

i found these from a transcript focusing on c!fundy's character, so i don't know exactly where the first one is from, but the second one i am pretty sure is from when the elections were starting with the whole cabinet battle deal and all of that.

there are other instances, and all of them are canon. his personality was never being nice or compassionate, so i'm not really surprised? he still cares about the people he cares about and is very brave, y'know. but this part of his personality is definitely a valid reason for people to dislike him.

I hope the exam went well :). Hope u have a great day! (Ps i think theres something called a submission box to send in pictures? Am not entirely sure sry)

it would've gone well but my work-speed is a tad too slow for the schooling system (considering i'm three years younger than my classmates,,, probably that's also a factor) so probably not despite the fact i knew everything and would've aced it if i only had more time. i did as well as i could so i'm not worried about it, but thanks!

i think you're thinking submissions. sadly, i tested it and it doesn't work on anons, so idk how you'd solve that, maybe make a burner account?

Curious anon here one point you may wanna include in the redemption essay is that c!tubbo or c!tommy do not necessarily have to forgive him. What's important is that he recognizes what he did was wrong (exile, beating tommy to death, manipulating them both, etc) and does his best to make amends. Hope this helps! Can't wait to see your essay

it's out, idk if you've seen it yet, and i think i included enough of that so hope it's all good! :)

the mcc update video is out if you are an mcc enjoyer. It's very neat, if you wanna check it out

yeah! i am a fellow mcc enjoyer, saw it already, thanks for telling me though, i'm really hype for today.

Allo curious anon here sorry if the lots of asks bother you. I was just curious if i could share an interesting post i saw today about c!dream :0 (not necessarily negative i think? More of a statement of an often-confused canon)

sure thing! i don't know what you mean by often-confused since, the entire fanbase is very confused always, and often selection bias plays into the perception from both sides, but sure :]

you also sent in a thing for the other anon who said they didn't know what c!dream did that bad; pretty sure they couldn't really be alerted since, not sure if they watch my blog that closely, but i'll summarize your points just in case and add some notes;

the repeated blowing up of l'manberg (in my mind that's largely a positive since i,, despise that country, but fair enough), revealed c!ranboo as a traitor (they seem to be friends so i also,, think that might've been planned between him and enderboo), sent ghostbur away (i don't think c!dream knew it was dangerous for him and wanted to actually hurt him, but idk), participated in fighting against c!sapnap when he killed people's pets (that's only negative against c!sapnap and didn't seem to hurt him much at all), and then the whole vault scene where he was allegedly planning to steal people's things (though saying he would & being stopped beforehand and doing it are two different things, frankly).

so i still agree with the other anon that a lot of the hurt he did "to the entire server" (he only negatively interacted with like,, a half of them) is exaggerated both by the characters and the fandom, but i guess that's a consequence of most people seeing him as a threat to everyone's happiness rather than a complex personality.

Also he was aware of the butcher army going to kill techno but only got involved because he saw an opportunity to get a favor. (As he knew in advance due to him telling techno to get a totem, watching from afar instead of interveing or manipulating tubbo out of it)

i don't understand this at all, i'm sorry. how do you know he only helped techno in order to get a favor? last i remember he was only doing it to protect and strengthen his alliance, and techno came up with the whole favor thing entirely on his own. you might've not watched techno's perspective or their prior interactions, idk, but this really is a misinterpretation in my eyes. /nm

sorry if that is overly dream negative i just wanted to let yall know cus you seemed unaware -curious anon

nah dw, i watch the smp and i watched all of these things happen so, wouldn't say unaware, but thanks.

#long post #my asks #curious anon #tw torture #tw animal death #c!dream negativity in asks #nothing aggressive though #so safe to read

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honoredbastard · 3 years

Text

I COME BACK WITH THOUGHTS/THEORIES ON ITADORI AND HIS RELATIONS- I THINK.

anyways, so i'll just point this out: i'm not good at speaking my thoughts in an organized manner. i absolutely suck at it, i speak on how my brain brings up the thoughts so i might ramble, get over my head in a thought, etc. i can't control it so i apologize in advance for the jumpiness of the texts. i will spell a lot of things wrong and not everything will be correct, as i read translations and on a manga site. don't worry it's not illegal, i believe.

MANGA SPOILERS AHEAD.

i apologize for my absence! last week or two weeks ago the tower to my computer completely broke and will not turn on. i tried to repair it and follow my fathers instructions but nothing worked. even cleaned off the fan and went through countless nights readjusting things. it's not my cords either so to help me out my father is working extra shifts to get me a new pc. so in the meantime i'll do small posts like these but not full writing/head canons until i have a computer tower lol. a family member was kind enough to allow me to have their phone while we work throughout this issue.

now onto the actual topic:

kenjaku and itadori's relationship. ( family wise ).

for context in the most recent chapter, 160 "colony" kamo shows up in sasaki's home and talks to her about the culling game and a barrier. but that's not the point, the point is as he's guiding her to the barrier inside her "dream" at the end he says "oh right. i almost forgot to tell you. thank you for getting along with my son." and then she is awakened inside the barrier, in her pajamas beside iguchi. when sasaki and iguchi look at the barrier and gather themselves they bring up kamo.

sasaki asked iguchi if he mentioned his son and he says no. this leaves sasaki in a state of confusion when itadori flashes in her mind. she says his name aloud like she finally connected the dots. now. why am i bringing up this whole kenjaku thanking sasaki for being his "son"'s friend. it throws me off because why didn't he thank iguchi?

did he not think iguchi meant their friendship? because sasaki was the one uninjured and still counted itadori as a friend? does iguchi not consider itadori as a friend anymore?

because we haven't seen these two at all since the incident. that raised many questions in me. as well "how can itadori be related to kamo?" and itadori is related to choso.

because kamo's technique is explained ( vaguely. we are aware he can create barriers, take over bodies, and has incredible cursed tools. chapter 134. this is also where choso makes his connection ( i believe. ) to itadori yuji as his brother. but because we saw this with todo many thought itadori just had another unconsious technique that allows the person who is hit create false memories and believe of a completely made up relationship with itadori without his knowledge. but alas, i was wrong. ) and we're given more hints shown than told ( imo ) i tried my best to make sense out of the situation and what he said. i think my conclusions are pretty solid, so continuing on.

we're given very little history on itadori, his past, and family. at the start of the manga we know that itadori's only family he knows is his grandfather and that he is ill in the hospital. at the very very beginning we learn that itadori is your average cute, fluffy, laid back but strong and goofy protagonist. in smaller words: itadori is kirby but even cuter and dumber.

my first impressions of him is a pineapple. if you're confused to this saying: it's calling a person prickly on the outside but sweet on the inside. and this is true, itadori's grandfather seems prickly and cold on the outside but he genuinely cares for itadori.

he raised itadori for all we know and did that with his all in assumption. but this ends up backfiring onto itadori, because he cares so much for his grandson - he ends up leaving a " curse " on yuji.

help people. save them.

itadori takes this to heart as his grandfathers speech is his last one. when he looks over to his grandfather the man is dead and now yuji is left alone. then the following events occur.

at this point in time i assumed itadori was an orphan ( he technically is if we're connecting the dots. his parents has not been shown, he doesn't speak of them, they aren't in the picture. we can conclude either they disowned itadori or died before he could make complete memories of them. )

but when we are shown in chapter 143 itadori's parents we see this "woman" jin ( yuji's father ) and his grandfather talking about has the same scar pattern. this scar pattern is either stitching ( assuming that is how kamo keeps the top of the opened skull from coming off. this is also how kamo revealed his cursed technique / body of sorts ( the brain, assuming that is kenjaku in his cursed technique and not the body / puppet he is controlling " getou suguru " ) to gojou. )

this is the only way i find kamo being able to assign itadori as his son. why is that you might be asking this dumbass here.

we do not have the full story, exact date, location, and full context of the memory/dream itadori is having. this cannot be fake either because kamo would than have no reason to call itadori his son. or is there? anyways.

take a leap of faith with me. imagine that before itadori is born ( he seems no more than a few weeks or days old in this memory. hence why i am thinking my conclusion is pretty solid in theory. but yknow gege, there might be something different. ) anywhooo.

TW. D3ATH/IMPLYING ANTI LIFE ATTEMPT

kamo had to have taken over yuji's mothers body after an accident OR after she gave birth to yuji. his grandfather is interrupted by her before he can finish his sentence but it seems to be leading to the conclusion that either kaori ( yuji's mother ) died while giving birth to yuji or kaori could not conceive and tried to take her own life or cause an accident that would take her life. ( i read a fan translation for this part but im pretty sure i also read the official translation today too and it added up to the same. )

i believe in the first idea, but since kamo's cursed technique wasn't explained in detail i don't know the conditions of his body technique. does the original host of the body have to be dead? can he regenerate body limbs ( i highly doubt. getou lost an arm during his fight with yuta. overconfident dick. reminding me of an ex ANTWAYS. i forgive him for being overconfident smooch. he learned. OFF TOPIC but continuing on i promise.

this is being continued from the cut off point. i'm so upset so it'll just be summarized. i can't believe this shit lol i took three hours just to finish it for it to literally cut off the bottom half.

continuing on in a sadge mood. kamo must not have the complete ability to take over a body. after all getou took his only arm he had as he was dying and choked his own body to his full ability. getou was willing to die ( possibly, you never know he could be alive if he killed his own body. moving on. ) just to have the chance to save his friend from being swallowed by a damn box.

so there has to be a chance that kamo cannot fully take over the previous persons complete consious and memory of their body. if getou still had his other arm after losing the fight to yuta, he could've choked kamo with both arms. in theory kamo wouldn't be able to control the right arm and die to the previous host choking him to death.

so why wouldn't the other hosts do it? after all, kamo did say it was his first time experiencing such a thing. assuming kamo has lived throughout many bodies in his 150+ lifespan none of the previous hosts could take control of their body.

i believe getou was completely influenced by gojou and his six eyes. there is no way gojou would even try to speak out to his friend unless he had an inkling or saw getou still in there. helpless and without the ability to save himself from the cage he's in.

being used and puppeteered in his own body by an external force. laughing in the world he could not. putting getou into a constant misery and defeat that he couldn't escape his hell. the one he tried so hard to fight and get out of. even if it was the wrong path.

gojou was the last person to witness getou dying. he had to watch getou bleed out after their conversation because he couldn't bring himself to kill his friend. the one he spent his whole jujutsu student life with. so for gojou to say such a thing to getou despite all that he did had to break getou out of his misery and give him that small sliver of hope that he could do something. of course he failed, but i doubt that's going to be the end of that.

the only way i see kamo being related to yuji is if he took over kaori's body before the pregnancy. assuming that when kamo takes over a body he becomes one with said body and is that person for however long he lives in said body. my only thing is, can he take over a persons body whilst they are alive? i would go more in depth like i did the last time but i am extremely upset about my work being erased so that's the end of this part.

thank you for reading! i have one more thing for you though.

the last time we see sukuna in a manga page after the shibuya incident is where he is on his throne and in his domain. this is after yuji is stabbed by yuta and is presumed "dead" at the time. he seems to be interested in yuta and i can think of 2-3 things. I would love to hear your theories too so don't be afraid to barge into my dms like the koolaid man.

A - sukuna is interested in Yuta because of his ability to use the reverse healing technique ( only a few sorcerers know this. sukuna being the first. shoko being the second one to be told that she has this power and then gojou. ) because of this he sees potential in yuta as well or has added this boy into his plans. after all, there is very few that can make sukuna make an expression that isn't an RBF. aka megumi and possibly gojou. I was looking at the page of him stabbing yuji and noticed we only see the entry point of where the blade enters. it's smaller because some got chunked off so its a possibility yuta used this to his advantage when "killing" yuji and instead hit an artery that could kill him but quickly healed him afterwards. or just his heart. the ideas.

B. Rika, Yuta is able to completely control Rika as shown. Even though he claims he is on the weak side, these two combined seem like an unstoppable force. He may be interested in Rika as she is a curse that has been put on someone that can fully control it. Not many people is shown to be able to control their curse. As we haven't met many.

this was enti and that's the last of my post! thank you for reading and it was a fun one. even though i had to restore this shit. anyways, i'd love you to add or fix up my ideas and tell me your thoughts and opinions! Thanks a bunch!

^ this is for pure humor

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writerofblocks · 3 years

Note

*sneaks this in* Bridget/Troy - things you said with no space between us (or) things you didn’t say at all

This was. From a long ass time ago. BUT ITS FINISHED NOW SO IM POSTING IT.

Sleepless in Stilwater

“Three.”

“Hmm?”

Troy held up three fingers. “That’s the third time you’ve yawned in as many minutes. And I’d be okay with that if you weren’t, you know, doin’ seventy on a forty-five mile an hour highway.”

Bridget broke eye contact with the road long enough to give him a sidelong glare that would wither a lesser man. “I’m not the only one doing their best Fast and the Furious impression out there,” she irritably shot back. A sports car rushed past them with an ear splitting squeal that made Troy jump, and she gestured at it. “See?”

Troy sunk back into the leather seat of the [insert car model here], returning her glare with one of his own. “That’s not the point and you know it. The point is I’d rather not end up a red smear on the pavement because my wheel man fell asleep at the goddamn wheel.”

“Oh, is that all I-” Her mouth cracked open into another face-splitting yawn; she barely managed to hide it behind her hand. “-all I am to you? Your wheel man?”

“Four. And don’t give me that crap, you’re the one that called dibs on driving.”

“I only called dibs cause you drive like a grandma on a broken scooter.”

“You mean I drive the speed limit.”

Bridget ignored him. “Besides,” she said, swerving around a semi-truck sharp enough to make him grab at the handle above the passenger window, “I’ve got places to be after this. Julius called me about a-” she let out another yawn. “-about a storage place, said the Rollerz keep their best wheels there.”

A smirk crossed Troy’s face. He waited until Bridget’s attention was on him before he held up five fingers and wiggled them. It was worth it to see the way her eyebrows dropped into a sharp V before she jabbed a finger in his direction. “Don’t you fucking say it.”

“Don’t need to say anything.”

The one finger swiftly flipped upward into giving him the bird as she returned her attention to the highway. “You’re lucky I don’t throw you out on the highway this second,” she growled, though a smile playing at the corners of her lips undercut the hostile tone.

Troy chuckled, then settled back in his seat enough to look out the car window. Stilwater was a shithole on a good day, but the oranges, purples, and blues of sunset colored the world into something more palpable to take in. Light bounced off the towering buildings of Downtown, harsh edges and cold, reflective glass softening under the gentle touch of twilight. But you could only watch buildings whiz by for so long. His gaze, as it so often did in these rare quiet moments, returned to her.

As much as he bitched about it, there was one thing he didn’t mind about Bridget being the go-to driver. It allowed him time to just… take her in. Look openly, without other people seeing and giving him crap for being lovestruck. Without her giving him crap for being lovestruck, because even after the months they’ve been together she still shied away from open affection more often than not. She cuts the sentiment with a joke, or by teasing him, or some combination of both. He doesn’t mind it- he wonders sometimes if he’s a glutton for punishment, given his career path and choice of romantic partner, but he doesn’t mind being so. Not with her around.

So he looks at her. The way her eyelids keep fluttering slightly, only for her to stubbornly hold them back open. The dark circles he’d think were black eyes if they weren’t only on her lower eyelids. She’s tapping her fingers on the steering wheel, jiggling the leg not in charge of the pedals. Any motion to tell her body it isn’t time to sleep yet. He’d make a joke about looking in a mirror if seeing it didn’t bother him so much.

That was the downside of being undercover. You got real good at seeing things people tried to hide. He had to say something. He opened his mouth, and...

“For real, though. You look like shit. Have you slept at all?”

And of course something stupid came out. Miracle of miracles, she scoffed instead of chucking him onto the highway. “Bold move to question my sleeping habits. How many used coffee mugs are on your desk again?”

Troy chose to ignore her words. “Look man, just-” He sighed, running a hand down his face. “-go home. Take a shower or something. Get some food. You need a break, Bridge.”

Bridget’s face was impassive, staring straight forward as she shifted the car into the express lane. “Can’t. Julius-”

Enough of this. “Did he tell you to do it tonight?” he asked, cutting her off before she could restate whatever bullshit task Julius had given her to do on top of everything else he’d piled on her. For fuck’s sake, sometimes it felt like she was carrying the whole gang by herself in between the tasks Julius sent down the pipeline and the duties she’d taken on herself to perform.

The glare she gave him could melt permafrost. “No.”

“Then do it tomorrow when you’re fresh.”

“I’m fresh enough,” she bit out. “You’re worrying way too much-”

The words burst from his chest before he could vet them. “I’m worrying the right goddamned amount for someone watching a person he cares about take way more shit on than she needs to.”

Bridget’s eyes went wide, whatever she’d been about to say dying in her open mouth.

Troy ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know if this is some macho attempt to prove yourself or some shit, but you don’t have to do this. Slow down. Take care of yourself. Just- please.”

She was quiet for several minutes, eyes locked on the road as she slowed to match the speed of traffic. He’d almost given up on getting a response before she spoke again. “I won’t go to the storage place tonight. It’s-” She swallowed. “It’s late. Rollerz’ll be getting the cars out for races by now, there’s bound to be way more hanging around than during the day.”

He knows those justifications. Her saying he’s right without saying it directly. When she spoke again, her voice was careful. “Got anything else going on later?”

Manila folders scattered across a coffee table, a rapidly growing pile of cigarette stubs as he figures out the best way to ruin his friend’s lives-

“Nothing that can’t wait.”

When Bridget had first joined the Saints, Troy had thought her unreadable. It was easier now to read her once he knew what to look for. Her rubbing her thumb against the side of her index finger- something self soothing. Bouncing her leg- buying time to think. The lift of her head to look at him directly- she was searching him, weighing his reaction. “Feel like staying over?”

Always. “If you want me to.”

The tension in Bridget’s shoulders dissipated, and she gave him a small smile. “Of course I do, that’s why I asked,” she replied, punching him in the arm. “Dumbass.”

===

Rain tapped an improv jazz rhythm on the glass of Bridget’s bedroom window, and Troy couldn’t sleep. Blame the cigarettes, the coffee, the crippling anxiety and paranoia. The cause ultimately didn’t matter, the effect was the digital clock on Bridget’s bedside table hit 2AM and he was no closer to falling asleep than he was when he originally lay down. Bridget, though. Bridget had been asleep the moment her head touched the pillow. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel a moment of satisfying vindication.

He rolled over, resting a hand on her arm.

It was strange to see Bridget asleep. If Bridget was awake, she was moving- tapping her foot, shifting from side to side. She bounced her heels if a meeting went too long, rattling the table until he placed a hand on her thigh to get her to stop (among… other reasons). If she chose to talk, she talked with her whole body, her hands dancing in the air. Even when she was seated and still, a part of her still seemed to tremble with energy, anticipation and eagerness. Not now, though. Now she laid there, the rise and fall of her chest the only motion. Light drifted through the cracks in the blinds from the streetlight outside her window, resting softly on the freckles on her cheeks.

His hand traveled down her arm, into the dip of her waist, over the swell of her hip bone. Bridget wasn’t a paper-thin waif by any stretch of the imagination, but without the bulk of her sweatshirt to fill out her usual silhouette, she looked… smaller. More vulnerable. Which was ridiculous, he’d seen what she could do with a gun- hell, forget a gun, he’d seen the havoc she created with her fists alone- but somehow. Somehow that veneer was stripped away in the hazy orange light of a half-dead lamppost bulb, and the only thing left was a tired twenty-one year old who needed a hell of a lot more sleep than she was getting.

Christ. She really was twenty-one, wasn’t she? The face she wore around the other Saints made her seem older than that. It was all harsh angles and stony silences, only a twitch of a smile or a slight furrow in her brow betraying the emotions running electric through her veins. The uncertainty there at the beginning had long since suffocated under a rap sheet he hated to tally up in his head. It was a thing with no remorse, and little room for mercy.

And yet that face was forgotten in her sleep. The ever present tension slackened, releasing that hardened shell and letting it fall away in favor of something softer. She denied the existence of that softness, but he knew. He was allowed to know, he realized, warmth settling in his chest at the thought. Of all people, she’d offered that gift to him.

And it’s a gift you’ll lose soon.

The thought cut a sharp line through the haze, frozen against the warmth of the moment. Troy stilled, his hand resting on her waist. Somewhere in between the light on her cheeks and the slow, steady rise and fall of her chest, he’d forgotten what would be waiting for them. That as much as he tried to dodge and delay, the day Chief Monroe decided it was time to pull the plug on the Saints was coming sooner than later- and Bridget, ambitious and unknowing, was only hastening that end.

His sigh was frayed, thin and trailing off into nothing. This relationship was never going to last forever. He’d known that going in, had willingly condemned them both to heartbreak, but it hadn’t mattered then. That future had drowned in the affection in her gaze. The warmth of her laughter. The spark of her lips on his. But now…

Troy cupped Bridget’s cheek, pressing his forehead gently against hers as he closed his eyes. “I’m gonna miss you,” he whispered. He had to say it, just once. Even if she didn’t hear it- since she would never hear it- it needed to escape before it withered under his held tongue. It needed to exist, just for a moment, all his regrets pouring into that simple, weighted phrase.

At some point she’d wake up, either through him gently shaking her or her own merit. Either way she’d grouch at him for not waking her up sooner, blinking blearily at him in a hopelessly endearing way she’d punch him for if he ever mentioned it. She’d whip the covers off of both of them, laughing when he protests. Showers would follow, breakfast of some sort, and time would continue to march forward to that inevitable, heartbreaking point.

But that was a future they didn’t have to face yet. For now, they could stay like this- curling into each other, breath to breath and at peace.

For now, he’d save her a rude awakening.

#writers writes things #otp: troyget #oc: bridget summers #troy bradshaw #saints row

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julie-thefatones · 3 years

Text

Ghost of You || Luke x Reader || Part 2

Hello Everyone! Welcome to part 2 of my First FanFic...... If you would like to Read Part 1 click here 💜 But thank you so much to everyone who liked and read the first part... I hope you all like the second part just as much! Okaaaaayyyyyy im gonna go work on Part 3! thank you guys bye :) (Updated- Part three now posted here)

A/N: Your best friends with Julie, since the stamp was removed from the boys they are able to be seen by lifers at choice and can touch lifers at choice, but are still ghosts. You and Luke grow closer and closer starting to go from friends to more than that and everyone starts to notice, it just takes a little longer for you two to figure it out.

WordCount: 3,316

As you and Luke made your way back to the High School you guys didn't say a word, both of you not really understanding what just happened back at your spot by the lake, You were so confused, because Luke is just a friend, and he's your best friends band mate.... which made it even more complicated with the feelings you were currently feeling.... whatever happened back there felt more than just friendship, You shake your head to get that thought out of it, *no* you thought to your self *Luke is just a friend* you could only imagine what was going on in Lukes mind right now, what was he thinking, you thought, looking down at yours and Lukes hands entwined with one another's..... he probably doesn't think anything, you looked up at his face and then turned away the second you saw him start to look at you back. *What is he thinking about!* you thought to your self, you cant help but feel frustrated, Luke must have felt your frustration because you felt his hand tighten around yours "Hey, Y/N.... are you okay?" Luke asked you with real concern in his voice, You look back at him, widening your eyes "Me? oh yeah! just thinking about what I missed in algebra today... Mr. Berty is gonna be Pissed" You said with a nervous chuckle, Luke chuckled along with you " Well, just tell him an emergency came up!! like ya girly thing came" Luke said smiling at you, and you laughed "My girly thing? You mean my period?" You said nudging his shoulder with yours, teasing him, he scrunched his whole face "ahaha yeah! I just always feel so weird saying it" he said still scrunching his face, and you both laugh while simultaneously inching a little closer together as you walked.

As you approached the school, you looked at Luke and saw his eyes get bigger with excitement, confused you looked in the direction he was looking at, you looked all around, still confused and then looked back at Luke "Luke? why are you so excited right now?" you asked him with a slight chuckle, you just couldn't help but laugh with how cute his face was, how excited he was, he then looked at you "Y/N, do you see what I see?" he said with so much excitement, motioning towards the direction of the school, and you look over still not seeing anything, and looking back at Luke "No, I really don't" you responded, he then rolled his eyes, and nudged your shoulder "The gym door is open" he said excited, and the motioning over to the field where there were a bunch of student playing soccer "They are all at practice, which means!..." Luke continued, his eyes widening and motioning them back and forth from you to the door, you, still slightly confused to why he was so excited "What? we should sign up for soccer, because im not very good at it.... you might be good at it!! are you good at it?" You replied, now wondering if he was good at soccer, causing a confused look on your face, Luke rolled his eyes again "Yes I am good at it, but thats not the point! the point is!! EMPTY GYM!!!" he said so excited, he hopped forward dragging you along with him running towards the door "Luke! why is an empty gym so exciting?" you asked while running, as you approached door you out of breath and him being totally fine since he's dead, He continued to smile, and dragged you through the doors "Because Y/N! its an empty gym!" He laughed causing a slight echo "You can do all kinds of stuff... like this!" he said looking at you with a flirtatious glance and then did the most effortless body roll you ever seen anyone do ever! you majorly impressed by Luke and his skills, also notice your heart beating a million miles a minute... but you just let it slide.... it didnt mean anything, you just got done running across a field which is longer than you have ran since you had to do the pacer test in middle school. You looked at Luke and smiled and then clapped your hands slowly together "Wow I was almost impressed Patterson!" you said with sarcasm in you voice, just to tease him a little because you were very impressed, did his arms look more muscular than before? you thought to your self looking at his arms through his sleeveless Rush tee, Luke laughed cutting you off mid thought "Almost impressed? C'mon! you were so impressed by the way your mouth was hanging wide open Y/L/N" He said moving closer to you, until before you knew it he had you in his arms swinging you around, both of you laughing "Luke!!!! put me down you dork!" you laughed, he didnt listen instead he swung you over his shoulder "Not until you admit you were impressed!" he said in a teasing tone, and you knew he wouldn't let you down until you admitted it, but you also were not one to give in so easily "Never!!!" You screamed causing Luke to laugh creating the biggest smile on his face "Alright then! I guess we are going to be here for a while Y/N" Luke said confidently causing you to smile because you didnt mind the thought actually, but he doesn't have to know that "I guess we are Patterson" you replied in the most confident voice you could manage trying not to laugh, just hanging upside from his shoulder.

15 minutes or so had passed and you were still hanging from Luke shoulder in the Gym, except now you two were hiding in the corner because the gym class came back in. You looking at your phone, and whispering to Luke "Hey! there's a 5:00 showing of that movie, you still wanna go" you could feel his little bounce of excitement "Yes!" he whispered back "you even need to ask! is it just gonna be me and you or did you wanna invite the whole gang" he whispered, you sat there thinking for a minute, you would love to just have it be you and Luke but you also don't want to cause any rifts with Julie, she is your best friend after all and she has been wanting to see this movie for a while, its all she talked about for a week straight "we better invite everyone, we don't want them to think we don't care about them" you whispered, you could feel the sudden shift in Lukes mood, *was he disappointed?* you wondered to yourself "Yeah your right... ill tell the boys" he whispered, you could feel him playing with your shoe laces on your shoes, just twiddling them around in his fingers "Hey Y/N, we should sit next to each other though, ya know just because then we can make fun of it, in case it turns out bad" he whispered with a nervous type of laughter, causing you to smile, you whispered a chuckle, slapping his butt in a rhythm to your words "Of course you dork! duh" you whispered, you felt him bounce in excitement again, then rubbing your calf "Y/N, has the blood started rushing to your head yet?" he whispered to you with a teasing tone causing you to roll your eyes, the blood rushed to your head a while ago but you weren't gonna let that cause you to loose, so you slapped his butt once more "No! you might as well give up Patterson" you whispered with same kind of teasing tone, Luke now slapping your butt in a playful response "Never!" he whispered.

You and Luke had spent around 30 minutes just hiding in the gym with you slung over his shoulder, until Luke finally put you down in defeat. Now you were walking to Julies house with her now that school was over "Where were you most the day today Y/N?" Julie asked you truly confused, *oh crap* you thought to yourself, how are you going to explain your self... you don't want to admit you were hanging out with Luke all day but you also don't want to lie to your best friend, shifting your eyes from your nervous twiddling hands to your best friends confused face "Well, ya know here and there" you replied hoping that would be it and you both would move onto a different subject, Julie laughed "Okay! what are you hiding from me girl! you know you cant keep a secret from me ... now spill" she said but now with excitement and intrigue as to where you were.... *oh just tell her!* you thought to your self "Alright!!! I was hanging out with Luke" You laughed, now super nervous to your best friends response to you getting so close to her band mate, it also felt really nice to get that off your chest "Really?" Julie laughed "What did you guys do all day?" She asked, still laughing, your eyes widening with relief that she wasn't freaking out "Oh, we hung out in the gym, I was trying to win a bet, which I did!" you laughed, with a confident voice feeling proud of your self for the victory, Julie laughed with you "Oh! at 5:00 we are all gonna go see that movie you have been dying to see! you wanna come?" you asked Julie with excitement, Julie laughed "Duh!!!! im there" she said punching your arm playfully.

You and Julie got to the movies a little earlier then the rest of the gang to get the tickets and get in line for snacks, soon Flynn came in and joined you guys in line "Hey girls!!" She said with her usual Flynn excitement and flare "Hey Flynn!" Julie said with a smile and a fist bump, you smiled too "hey girl!" you said giving her a small hug "Where are the guys?" Flynn asked looking around noticing you and Julie were standing in line alone "Oh they should be here any minute" Julie said casually, her being used to them showing up late to places...

As you guys guys waited You just fiddled with a stuffed animal that was for sale sitting on one of the shelves that they have by the line area, enticing people to shop while they wait.. it was just a small stuffed animal, a panda in fact, holding a little heart that said the words I adore you you kind of smiled at it, due to how cute it was, just spacing off playing with its ears while Julie and Flynn went on about something that Nick did in Biology class due to Julies huge crush on him. You felt a brush of air sweep behind you and then "What you doing!" whispered in your ear from behind scaring the crap out of you causing you to drop the Panda, turning and punching the the thing that scared you right in the arm, wasn't long until you noticed it was Luke, who was now holding his arm "Ouch! thats the kind of welcome I get Y/N!" he said teasingly, still holding his arm "You know this is the second time you have punched me today, im starting to think you don't like me or something.... that hurts" he said now smirking with the same teasing tone, you guys locked eyes, you were trying to find the right words to say but were struggling, getting lost in his green eyes, but then found your way back as he looked down at the ground at your now dropped panda "Is this your little guy" Luke says picking the panda off the ground and messing with the ears the same way you were "Its cute!" he said smiling and now motioning it toward you moving its limbs like it was alive, you smiled and pushed the panda down in a playful way in order to see Lukes face "No, its not my panda! he is cute though" you laughed, Luke smiled at you and then looked down at the panda in his hands "So you do think he is cute? well at least I know your type now! a little odd but alright" he said still teasing you, causing you to roll your eyes "Do you want me to punch you again" you said now teasing him "Hey Y/N! Luke! can you guys stop flirting for 5 seconds so we can order our food and go, the movie is gonna start in like 10 minutes" Alex yelled over to us from the front of the snack bar with Julie and Flynn. You turn to Luke and see his face turn a certain shade of red "Dude, we are not flirting! excuse me for being social" Luke laughed while skipping forward, but grabbing your hand to come along with him, Alex rolled his eyes "Yeah, okay! whatever you say pal" Alex said sarcastically patting Luke on his shoulder, You looked around "Where is Reggie?" You asked confused to where he was, Alex nodded his head in the direction of the arcade where Reggie had his head resting on the glass of a claw machine in defeat, using his pointer finger to caress the glass next to the toy he wanted, you and Luke shared a look and laughed in reaction to him "Hey Reg! buddy! its okay, we can try again after the movie!" Luke yelled to Reggie causing Reggie to sigh and look at the toy "Ill be back for you little buddy" Reggie whispered to the toy, causing us all to burst into laughter, in that moment you noticed, just like earlier today... Luke never let go of your hand after dragging you with him, right now you both were holding hands.... your eyes widened.... *me and Luke are holding hands* you thought to your self *Doesnt mean anything! nope* you said to yourself looking down at your hands intertwined with one another, Luke must have felt your wandering eyes because in that moment he squeezed your hand tighter.

As you sat in the movie next to Luke as planned before in the gym you kept looking down at your hand which was still holding Lukes like it was so natural to him, the way your fingers were interlocked with his and how his thumb just subtly massaged the outer part of your thumb.... it felt nice... you glanced up at Lukes face as he was watching the movie, you never noticed how beautiful his smile was, like this dude had a seriously amazingly beautiful smile, you just sat there looking at him laugh at the movie.... he must had felt your stare because in that moment he looked over at you, still not dropping his smile, in fact it grew bigger than before but with a softer touch, he leaned in next your ear "What? is there something on my face?" he whispered, while taking his free hand wiping his mouth, you just chuckled "oh yeah!! there is, its a mess oh my gosh" you whispered back in a teasing tone, putting your hand on his cheek as if to wipe something, and then you looked him straight in the eyes with a smirk "Oh no, that was just your face, my bad" you whispered with the same teasing tone, as Lukes smile turned into a gasp, that was some how still a smile "Ouch, that hurt Y/L/N it really did" he whispered with a slight chuckle, you laughed in a whisper "Uh huh sure it did" you whispered while softly tapping his face, like a small slap before removing your hand from his face, in that moment he squeezed your had tighter again, but this time as if he was happy he still had your other hand..... *That doesn't mean anything, its all in good fun!* you thought to your self..... you looked over to your left at your best friend who was watching the movie, you don't know why but you felt slightly relieved she didnt really notice the interaction you and Luke just shared, until she leaned over to your ear with a handful of popcorn "What was that?" she whispered with a slight laugh, you looked at her with a shy smile, "What was what?" you whispered back, trying to avoid the topic, because you and Luke were just friends and you knew she was gonna ask If it was something more "Is there something going on between you and Luke?" she whispered, but this time in serious tone due to actual sincere curiosity "What do you mean by something going on? I mean we hang out alot" you whispered back, telling the whole truth, thats all it was after all, Julie looks at you and tilts her head with wide eyes as if she were saying really and then motioned her eyes over to yours and Lukes hands that were still tangled together, in which you looked at too and looked back in a swift movement "Oh, thats nothing, we just do that! I don't know why... we just do" you whispered, in a slightly rushed nervous tone, because you really didnt know how to explain that..... you didnt even know your self, Julie raised her eyebrows "uh huh....whatever you say girl" she whispered back, you just chuckle in response not really knowing what to say, in that same moment you see Reggie and Alex passing a note down the line of seats until it reached you and on the top it read To: Y/N and Luke... Julie scrunched her eyebrows together confused, you shrug your shoulders and lean over to Luke "Hey we got a note from Reggie and Alex?" you whispered in confusion, in which Luke looks down at the note and then over to Reggie and Alex who have their eyes plastered to the screen as if they were actually paying attention to the movie, casually eating there popcorn... Luke then looks back at the note and the up at you "What do you think they want?" Luke whispered with a slight laugh, "I don't know" you whispered with a laugh, you and Luke share a look, both quickly shrugging your shoulders and opening the note both using the only free hands you have, when you get the note open Luke reads aloud still in a whisper "So when are you two gonna get a room? because ya know there are people here, Love Alex and Reggie" Luke face then went from a smile into his grumpy Luke face, which he rarely ever makes, you both just look over at Alex and Reggie again who are now looking at you both and laughing

silently to each other which causes you to chuckle as well, Luke looks at you surprised your laughing, but then softens his face at how funny you think it is, Luke starts chuckling too and then sits back in his seat continuing to watch the movie *what were Julie, Alex, and Reggie talking about though? there's absolutely nothing going on between me and Luke.... ugh at least Flynn hasn't said anything* you thought to yourself, you sit back in your seat too, now drowning in your thoughts of confusion....... *Oh boy* you thought to yourself, you then glanced at Luke who felt your look and turned to you "I know im hot Y/N, but you did pay to see the movie... you should probably Watch it instead of me" Luke Whispered to you in a teasing tone and a smirk "Oh! I also have something for you" he whispered in such a cute soft tone, it made your stomach feel weird, *what the heck was that* you thought to yourself putting your free hand on your stomach and then you knew what it was *Butterflies*

#Julie and The Phantoms #jatp #jatp fanfic #Luke Patterson Fanfic #Luke Patterson fan fiction #Luke Patterson X Reader #Luke Patterson X Y/N #Jatp Luke #Jatp Luke Patterson #Charlie Gillespie #Marys Fanfic

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carinyms · 3 years

Text

I've scrolled through a lot of discourse on episode 4 of Loki and I need to talk about it

(good lord its a whole essay im sorry)

I gave myself a headache from crying while watching this. (I joined the Loki fandom post-IW so I’ve never had to see him die before while emotionally invested and boy!!! Is it doing things to my fragile psyche!!). But now I’m rehydrated and more stable and ready to party so let’s go

Right off the bat, I loved this episode — loved it loved it loved it. Silly, manic in-shock Loki is gone and shit is getting real. My thought while watching this was truly “wow this is my favorite episode so far” and damn am I in a minority with this opinion lol.

So here’s my perspective on some of the discourse flying around, and just general thoughts

On the whole ‘Narcissist’ thing:

IMO, Mobius saying this means nothing: he’s mad and he’s spouted lies at Loki to push his buttons before (see: every interaction they’ve had since episode 1).

Loki saying this to Sif-- well, Loki is and always has been an unreliable narrator on himself. The major theme of this show is that he doesn’t really know who he is, deep down, and he’s trying to figure it out. The TVA is taking advantage of this, and even though he’s trying to stay above it all throughout the series, he's still in a really impressionable spot and absorbing what others tell him about himself. (not to mention this scene is literal torture and he’s already proven that he’ll say whatever he needs to to get out of it.)

But he does admit one true thing when he says “It’s because I’m scared of being alone.” (And like wow okay same don’t mind my tears) but here’s a big brain idea!

Sif pulls him up and says ‘You are alone, and you always will be’, which is like, WOW that’s cruel after what he said, but it makes me ask wonder: Sif is sentient in this scene, but obviously it’s not really her. Who’s controlling her? And why is it so important for them to make sure Loki thinks he’s alone? I’d go as far as to wager that Sif never even said this to Loki, the big bad made this up. (he admits he forgot about this ever happening, I doubt he’d remember what she said.)

I think the nexus event on Lamentis that caused the branch was two Loki’s joining sides. Or, Loki no longer being alone. Loki insists while talking to Mobius that “she’s not my partner!” but she was, and they were partners from the moment they grabbed hands on Lamentis — right when the timeline broke off. I think Loki variants teaming up is the biggest threat to whoever is pulling the strings here — that’s why the post-credit scene is so significant. (Is Loki the only person who has multiple variants of himself who've escaped the TVA?)

And here’s where I’m gonna get salty--so I apologize but i need to rant about this-- but it’s seriously pissing me off that so many people are intentionally reading this as Loki/Sylvie and then being mad about it when that’s clearly not what’s happening and why is everyone acting like Mobius with one angry jealous brain cell and no critical thinking about the context of the characters.

If people ship it that’s chill, but for the people who are against it—it’s clearly supposed to be platonic, and it’s so upsetting that in the year of our lord 2021 we still can’t have a man and woman hold hands without people saying it’s proof they want to f*ck each other, like what in the misogyny??? STOP. This show was written by a bi woman and Tom the-most-emotionally-sensitive-man-on-this-planet Hiddleston — let them display an intimate loving friendship goddammit. This isn’t romance, this is Loki learning how to admit he cares for someone who cares for him in return — something he hasn’t experienced a whole lot of and clearly doesn’t know how to navigate.

(You have permission to personally come at me if it actually turns out to be romantic by the end of the show—but as of right now I will die on this hill.)

Him putting his hands on her shoulders to me was a clear indication he wanted to hug her, and I’d like to think he would have told her he cares about her, and that they can figure it out together. Because these are two characters who’ve never had anyone else to rely on and trust, and for the first time they’re not alone.

And I have to think about what prompted this from Loki. He just lost Mobius the moment after he called him friend. The way I see it, he’s just realized the true gravity of what they’re up against, and Loki is suddenly very afraid of losing Sylvie too before he tells her cares about her, of dying truly alone because he never told anyone what they meant to him. (Don’t think about this in the context of him also having watched his entire family die knowing he never told Frigga or Thor how much he loved them either don’t think about it—) He’s realized, finally, that he has doesn’t have to be alone, that he can choose to be close to people and have friends. And god it’s so heartbreaking that he never got to hug her or have that moment with her. I really hope they get that in the end. I hope he gets it with Mobius. I hope they have a group hug. I'm upset again.

Okay, deep breath, ANYWAY.

Hopefully this didn’t come off as attacking anyone else’s opinions.

Personally, I love this character so much, I’m just so happy to be seeing him in his own storyline that they can’t go wrong here. Objectively I think the production is amazing, and personally I love they way Loki’s character has been explored so far. (Yea yea, was I HOPING that the bad-memory loop would morph into Sanctuary and Thanos and like a full exploration of his true worst memories? Yes but let’s be honest my whump needs will never be met in canon and I have to accept that lol.)

Honestly I left all my own meta about this character at the door when the series started, because for me the opinions I’ve formed from the hundreds of (amazing) fics and meta I’ve read on this character and what’s true in canon are basically inseparable at this point, and no portrayal is going to live up to the way Loki exists in my head. Canon Loki and fic Loki are two different characters and I can enjoy both at the same time :) I’ve just loved seeing the character get given the different dimensions he deserves, and written by people who care about his story.

Also, it’s not over! If he was dead and this was it I’d be very upset, but this is the rock bottom of the storyline, and I think the whole next two episodes will be the build back up. I trust it’s gonna be worth it. SO hyped for flaming sword Loki. I would die for Sylvie, but I’m excited to see him on his own again.

My current most pressing questions are:

-what was the fallout of Sylvie’s bombing the timeline? (Have we seen that yet, am I just dumb and missing something?)

-Obviously, who’s behind it all? (Kang? Is there a head honcho Very Evil Loki at the top?)

-How much does Ravonna actually know, and to what extent is she just a pawn too? She asked Sylvie to prune her— she’s probably also been duped here.

-Is everything we learned about the sacred timeline BS? How much of what the TVA workers believe is real?

-my favorite theory so far is that the war of the timelines miss minutes talks about hasn’t actually happened yet, maybe making setting that into motion is the true endgame, leading into Multiverse of Madness?

(Side note: holy HELL im so excited for this soundtrack to drop on Spotify. It’s SO AMAZING I had CHILLS in the end credits.)

Open invitation to discuss anything with me if you feel inclined! :)

#if you read all of this please come say hi and be my friend because I don't know if even I'd read all this lol #loki #loki show #loki series #loki show spoilers #loki spoilers #loki series spoilers #loki show discourse #loki show positive #my disaster son has a show

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