#freedom is a pure and just ideal. always has been always will be

[zeb-z]

jrwi riptide 100//

Jay wanting to be a pirate just because of the freedom it gives her in this world. No lofty goals or ambitions. That’s what it’s always been about, hasn’t it? Since La Alma, who set sail from Joaldo without a thought of his future, and even before him, it’s been a clear theme. There is freedom in the open seas, there is freedom in having an open future. Not knowing what is next because you get to decide your heading.

And they help others find their freedom as well, as they make their own journey. Whether it’s by helping them fight back against whatever boot is crushing them, or trying to help them and give them resources to continue on their journey, or other such means. They’re the best goddamn pirates because they embrace this freedom, and they use their power to help others find their freedom as well.

#Jay isn’t a pirate for revenge or to say fuck you or to try and bring about chaos. she wants the freedom and friendship it gives her #Jayson can yap all he wants about the dangers of freedom and chaos and whatever the fuck. ok bootlicker with control issues #I’m sure I’d love to hear his opinions on the political state of mana. I’m sure he’d be a blast at parties. whatever dude #freedom is a pure and just ideal. always has been always will be #like it ties into every adventure they’ve been on everyone they’ve helped. it ties into their own journies (Gil especially) #no all of them especially #seize your destiny. plot your own course. have a good time with good company #and do some good along the way #I just have so many thoughts #jrwi #jrwi riptide #jrwi riptide 100 #jrwi 100 #jay ferin #okay! gonna start tagging spoilers since it’s 100 episodes and over now for riptide #jrwi spoilers #z speaks

[crucialplayer]

Thoughts on Venus placements

!! everything is based purely on my experiences with signs, written with no other purpose than to share my observations and be unserious.

Aries Venus. View public humiliation as a flirting tactic. Will borderline call you stupid and ugly and genuinely expect people to get the hint that they’re actually very interested. Will prob ask themselves out on ur behalf. If u don't show interest immediately as they enter a room they’re done. Life is a cycle of falling in and falling out. Romance is 90 percent fucking.

Taurus venus. Like anyone who’s pretty but LOVE prob one person in a lifetime. Will have an aneurism if you try to rush them or speed up the prelude. Unbearable in their pickiness (esp with food and smells). Have deluded themselves into thinking there are people dying waiting for them to grace this earth with their love and attention. Limit freedom but act bothered when being imposed with the same limitations. 

Gemini venus. What’s there to say that hasn't been already cried out loud by the casualties of their love. Wandering eye. Don't promise much and deliver even less. Fun tease flirts, will take you on Before Sunrise style date and rot ur brain with all the talk. Like to leave people wondering. Everyone wants to try this one out at least once. Word’s been going around that a non-cheating-gemini Venus has been spotted in the wild but we’re yet to confirm the evidence. 

Cancer venus. Want to be treated like a baby but always end up babying other people. Want to please their loved ones at all times and if not met with instant appreciation become very irritated and sad. Never voice their needs properly. Expect the most distant emotionally constipated people they usually choose as their partners to be mind-readers. Cook-clean-snog love. 

Leo venus. Promise u the moon and the stars but will be too lazy to actually get them. Love themselves first and won't let you forget that. If not received naturally - will drag those compliments out of you manually. At their best great at hyping people up. Love anyone who praises them. Also kinda get attached quite fast. Get jealous and offended easily (I feel like I say this about every Leo placement but what can u do).

Virgo venus. No one can please them and with time fewer people try. Get the ick over people simply breathing. Want the most sterile of love there is. If you’re not the best at your craft or do not aspire to be WHY the fuck not??? Legit think organizing ur desk is a good substitution for letting know they have warm feelings towards you.

Libra venus. Their partner is the star of the night month year life. Choose partners that can be bragged about and envied for. Very loving never shut up about their relationship no matter the setting always find a reason to bring them up. In a relationship make concessions until they blow up.

Scorpio venus. Insanity falsely taken for being in love. Blood contract on the first date. The ones that giggle at cannibalism=love metaphors. Might just lock you up but in a romantic wayyy... Romance is NOT a joke and ANY attempt making FUN of it WILL NOT slide. Looking around might count as cheating. Also if I may I suggest never leaving them on read..) Forever and always til death do us part. 

Sagittarius venus. Often forget that they are in a relationship. Love the fun aspect of dating, but hate everything else. Need someone who constantly shakes things up and makes life interesting for them. In an ideal world, they travel around the globe and have a lot of se make meaningful connections for life. Very playful tho!

Capricorn venus. In relationships become very domestic but it takes a lot for them to actually end up in such. Love language is to cover basic necessities and feel worn out after that. Typically require to be TAUGHT on love and I know there are some people who find this an exciting quest god bless you on that journey. Prob the most rigid Venus in terms of compatibility with others imo. 

Aquarius venus. So fucking random in terms of people they crush on like I can never guess who’s gonna tingle their interest braincell this time. Normally they go for the intellectuals but once they think they’ve got too predictable with it next choice is gonna be wild. Friends with people who have a crush on them and are oblivious to it. Freeze when you get mushy or clingy with them. 

Pisces venus. Takes a village to pull them out of that one abusive dynamic they’ve been perpetually stuck in. Unironically think of themselves as smol beans. Dedicate their whole unprompted to the person they’ve had a crush on for like two days. Very very veryyyy lovey-dovey-sweet-corny, have no problem confessing their love. Likely to draw ur portrait if they like you. 

#astro notes #astro observations #natal chart #aries venus #taurus venus #cancer venus #gemini venus #leo venus #virgo venus #libra venus #scorpio venus #sagittarius venus #capricorn venus #aquarius venus #pisces venus

[wandasaura]

Dove has her girls wrapped around her finger, so what would an ideal Dove day look like?

— DOVE DAY

warning(s) — pure fluff, headcannon format

ꕤ an ideal dove day consists of cuddles, cuddles, and more cuddles. she’s entirely clear about what she expects from her lovers when they finally have a minute to breathe without mission report deadlines or alien invasions. wanda and natasha don’t have any arguments, content to give love however it wants to be received.

ꕤ they wake dove up with kisses all over her face, lounge in bed until they can’t ignore their grumbling bellies any longer, and even then they stay cuddled up close until wanda chooses to be the responsible one and drags them downstairs and into the kitchen for a homemade breakfast of belgian waffles and eggs. dove sits on the counter dipping her finger into the powdered sugar when she thinks wanda won’t notice, and natasha sneaks her mouthfuls of whipped cream when she’s sure that wanda is looking right at them, smirking teasingly at her younger girlfriend who just rolls her eyes affectionately and holds back her scolding because she can’t deny how cute it is to watch her little dove wriggle around in excitement thinking she’s pulled something over on the all-knowing witch.

ꕤ they eat in the living room, which is a treat in and of itself because wanda is strict about keeping mealtime confined to the kitchen, but today is all about doing what dove wants, so they cuddle up under fluffy blankets and watch whatever movie seems most interesting. dove falls asleep everytime without fail, but she is adamant that it isn’t her fault, how is she means to stay away when her head is in natasha’s lap, her hair being twirled and braided, and her legs are thrown across wanda being tickled and rubbed and massaged. it’s clearly not her fault at all, and wanda and natasha are happy to take the blame, because that was their plan all along, not that their innocent little dove was aware.

ꕤ dove wakes up in the same position she fell asleep in, content to know that she hadn’t been left at any point during her nap, and depending on who’s closer, she sinks into their lap, chest to chest and face to face, smiling with a sleepy daze in her eyes.

ꕤ they stay like that for hours, making light conversation, cracking jokes, fighting off tickles when she’s particularly cheeky, until they get up to make lunch, which is always grilled cheese.

ꕤ natasha cuts dove’s sandwich diagonally, much to wanda’s displeasure because she believes in cutting it straight down the middle, and every time she makes a comment about it, it results in dove and nat rolling their beautiful eyes and calling her weird with teasing smiles. they eat in the kitchen, talking about life and upcoming events, throwing out ideas about how they’re going to spend the rest of the day, just reconnecting and making sure they’re all on the same page.

ꕤ after lunch one particular day, dove decided she wanted to go on a walk. the neighborhood they lived in was relatively quiet, and their neighbors were respectful enough to turn a blind eye when all three of them decided to venture out. they were just normal people doing normal things when they had the chance to be out together, so wanda and natasha agreed, although wanda was adamant that even if it was a dove day, she needed to wear some kind of jacket. dove huffed and stomped toward the closet, mumbling about stupid wind and jackets, much to the amusement of her girlfriends. they knew that she would freeze before she willingly wore a coat, but a sick dove wasn’t something they wanted to see, so wanda didn’t pay much attention to the mini tantrum that was more amusing than anything else.

ꕤ they wonder around for hours, getting lost down deadend streets, stopping at a local florist and picking up a bouquet of daffodils and daisies, taking advantage of every hour of sunlight they had left of the day, not knowing when they’d have this extent freedom again. when the cold became unbearable, and lips were becoming blue, they decided to go back home.

ꕤ wanda put the flowers in a vase while natasha made hot chocolate to warm them up. dove watched them fondly, content with their adventure and just having them both home for the entire day. it didn’t happen as often as she would’ve liked, but she would never blame them for that. she understood their commitments, but that didn’t stop her from wanting more of this.

ꕤ after hot chocolate was made, dinner was eaten, and pajamas were thrown onto warm bodies, they carried out the same routine as they did that morning, watching movies, cuddling on the couch, laughing and joking and just enjoying each others company until eyes were dry and limbs were heavy. so, they climbed the stairs toward their shared bedroom, they went through night routines, and then fell into bed in the same order they’d always kept. dove fell asleep first, then wanda, and natasha watches them both breathe until eventually she lets herself drive off too, already anticipating the next chance they’d have to do this.

#wanda maximoff #natasha romanoff #wandanat #wanda maximoff fluff #natasha romanoff fluff #wandanat fluff #wanda maximoff x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #wandanat x reader #w: asks #[ ⧗ ] — asks #ld: asks #series: little dove #answered. #𝒶𝒸𝒸𝑜𝓇𝒹𝓈 ꔫ

[alicerosejensen]

OK. I did it anyway! Finished the translation and tried as best he could. Part 3

I have a lot of debt, but I did it!

Good ending attached. If you like the bad ending of this story then please stop at 2 parts.

There's also a bit of angst here, a mention of smut.

I listened to a bunch of songs while writing this. In fact, there was a gigantic temptation to make Leon's girlfriend run away again, but I decided to fix the broken hearts of readers.

English is not my native language (I will write this as often as possible so that I don't get tomato thrown at me for mistakes). But I tried.

The text is quite large. I do not know if anyone has the strength to master it.

All efforts crumbled like a house of cards. All hopes that your relationship could still be saved were destroyed from the very day when you finally left, taking one suitcase with you.

For Leon, it was still an idiotic comedy that dragged on for a long time. He kept calling, texting, trying to talk to you about this misunderstanding. But you just cut him out of your life right away, without even giving him an attempt to explain everything.

But the comedy turned into a nightmare. Because Leon realized that you really left. A rather dirty game: to become the one who gave him peace and true love, and then in one second set fire to a small flowering island in his soul, leaving ashes behind.

Leon let you get too close to him. So close that he began to consider you his own. At some point, it even seemed to him that no one could love the way he loved you. But now you have turned the blue sky into black, discarding it as an unnecessary thing. Sometimes, stretching out his hand, lying on the bed, Leon woke up, thinking that since you are not around, then you are in the kitchen. You probably eat breakfast while looking at your phone.

But then he remembered.

You've gone. With tears, creating from his image a monster that hurt you throughout the relationship. You have done worse than Ada. It was a hundred times more painful. Leon knows it's crazy, but for just one night with you, he would give his life.

The only woman who has always been on his side. He wanted to feel the soft cotton of your gray T-shirt, but only your hands could be more gentle.

You have always been so pure that the world could be silenced by such innocence and angelic beauty. All the stars could go out if only something happened to you. You are a rare angel, in whose arms nothing hurts, who descended to him, to the last sinner, constantly fighting in an endless hell. Maybe someone decided that he received too much grace?

Leon would agree with that. But he's not ready to accept it. You said that you love him, despite the fact that he supposedly has feelings for Ada, and if he can convince you otherwise, then perhaps his beloved will return to him

But you didn't want to be in that cage. The whole situation with Leon, in your opinion, resembled the plot of Dolly Parton's song "Jolene", where Jolene is Ada Wong, whom you could beg not to take your lover. After all, as Jolene, Ada was the embodiment of an unearthly ideal. With a voice as soft as summer rain and with a smile like the breath of spring… Ha, you grinned remembering the words of the song.

What could you, a simple student, compare to this Ada-Jolene? Leon kept her compact in his bedside table and you still feel the reproach of envy that you will never become such a woman. You still cry when you think how many times he imagined an elusive mercenary in your place. But your happiness does not depend on Ada. You were able to find the strength to open the birdcage and run out to freedom, breathing in fresh air.

Leon used you. Crushed your heart into a piece of paper and threw it into the fire like the last scoundrel. But here you took out a burnt ember, intending to take care of it and already now you see that the first sprouts of trust in other men break into the light. However, love is not knocking at your door yet.

Because there is one huge problem: no matter how much pain Leon caused you, you want to leave him in your memories. Salty rivers of tears flow down your eyes almost every night, forcing you to curl up in the fetal position with your hands pressed to your chest when you read his messages. These are such ruthless blows that literally destroyed your soul. He's already traumatized you enough, so why doesn't he stop it already?!

The whole body and soul are screaming: help me! And the mind doesn't want to forget his fucking name and touch. You can't go back to Leon Scott Kennedy because he will bring nothing but evil. Say to yourself and remember forever: goodbye, my love for this man, because my heart can no longer bear this sick love.

You met in the spring and broke up in the spring. How much joy and sadness this time of year has brought you!

How much pain there is in the world, and all because of fucking love.

But for Leon it was completely different.

It was the middle of the day, when the sun was still high in the sky, promising to illuminate the streets with its light for at least another three or four hours. Late autumn time, Leon didn't want to get out of his mostly, alcohol-smelling apartment, but he had to write a report and hand it over to Hannigan, despite the overdue deadlines. To gather his thoughts a little for an answer, Leon went into a nice cafe, hiding from the strong wind, hoping that in addition to all kinds of desserts, he could order coffee to take away.

Ordinary strong coffee without sugar and hopes that it will not taste like bile.

The arrival of a new visitor was announced by a ringing bell, to the ringing of which the waiter immediately raised his head from his business. Leon was not going to linger, he walked past the tables with a few visitors until the familiar smell of women's perfume hit his nose.

And stopped.

He forgot about everything: Hannigan, the report, his job. About everything that brought him pain from your departure, because right now you were sitting with your back to him in a warm beige dress, holding a glass with some kind of drink with one hand and writing something in your notebook with the other pen, completely ignoring anyone.

All Leon wanted at this very second was to grab you in his arms and never let you go again.

How did this even happen? Why did you, loving him dearly, renounce him in an instant?

And yet your mere presence lifts him from the thorn-strewn earth. Only a meter separated you from each other, but Leon is already burning to the ground. It didn't matter if you were an angel or a demon, you were his love. His restless bird that flew away from him because it could. Because you believed he could still love another woman.

You look like two fools, each of whom believes in his own truth.

You were so serene, calm and nondescript to others. Strawberry ice cream almost melted from lack of your attention or you just didn't find it tasty enough to finish. Leon completely forgot why he came to this cafe. Illuminated by the evening sunlight, you looked like a work of art that you were so fond of.

A slight smile, careless strokes of a strange drawing in a notebook…you looked tired and a little thinner, but for him you remained the most beautiful. Aesthetic - Leon remembers that you like this word.

Did he have the right to disturb you? Like a mirage, Leon didn't want to scare away the one he loved because he knew if he touched you now, you would disappear again. Messages, calls - there were many of them and not one received a response.

If his love really brought you so much suffering, do you need it? Is he really that selfish? But now you tensed up, feeling someone else's gaze on your back, and as if small droplets of crystals began to beat anxiously against each other like wind music warning about who you are desperately trying to get out of your head.

But there was no soulful cry of "run."

You knew he was there. Behind. The heart did not stop with horror - it trembled with excitement. God, don't turn around! So much was lost because of Leon: dreams, hopes, trust, heart…

The palette of the endless emptiness of weekdays turned into slightly brighter colors.

Leon touched your shoulder and you shuddered lifting your head up. It was impossible to ignore this meeting and there was nowhere else to run. His touch was so welcome. The body responded to him by itself, trying to cling closer to feel the forgotten warmth. It was so good.

Suddenly you felt like a drug addict who received a long-awaited dose of the drug.

The purest buzz.

You still didn't say anything, just stared into those diamond eyes, completely losing yourself. By looking at it, you can experience all kinds of death. You wanted to finally surrender to him, submit and accept the inevitable, and then fall asleep in a tight embrace - all for the sake of the illusory hope of not being number 2.

What idiot said that time heals? There wasn't a night or a day when you didn't think about him.

You want to tell everyone to go to hell, and yourself first, because you're the last fool. A proud fool who can't live without him. Damn pride. Leon took a step forward, swallowing loudly, grabbing your shoulder with his other hand, but it didn't hurt. He looked at you as if he was afraid that you would melt into thin air.

You love each other very much, and each of you thinks that one of you does not love the other.

In an instant, everything collapsed in November. Leon knelt down, still squeezing your shoulders. Curse this month. He pressed you to him and you buried your face in his shoulder, inhaling the smell of a leather jacket and barely perceptible cologne. The stubble scratched the skin unpleasantly, but now these sensations were so pleasant.

If Leon doesn't disappear right now, it's going to be the worst month on the calendar. An unhappy month that will leave another stab wound. Your first true love and not a stupid infatuation…Whatever Carey says, it's impossible to forget Leon. There is no longer the strength to drown in it, grasping at a thin thread of feeling.

"Let's talk" - you're definitely a drug addict. His voice was like heroin causing euphoria. Rough and stringy at the same time. The infernal rejection started from him again.

The waiter's voice sounded like a soft soprano, and Leon reluctantly pulled away from you, but did not let go, as if he was afraid that you would jump up from your seat and run away, grabbing your coat. The lungs let out a heavy sigh, but you didn't want to talk to him. It was as if you were afraid that he would have words that would make you return to this anarchy of abnormal relationships. When he loves one woman and sleeps with a completely different one.

"I don't want to, go away," - you whispered, pushing him away with your palm. It was a terrible gesture. But you endured for a long time, accepting his lies, running after him like an obedient dog.

Love is not when it hurts you. And he mocks you and jokes, building those puppy dog eyes. He pretends that this separation is also hard for him. As if he wasn't a soulless being who took advantage of the trust of a girl in love with him.

But the idiotic heart keeps shouting to him, "Love me for a long, long time!" and Leon seems to hear him.

Leon grins, feeling butterflies flutter in his stomach. How many bridges can you burn?

But he strokes your head, runs his fingers through your hair.

"We'll just talk. Please stop ignoring me!"

"Stop foaming at the mouth to prove to me that the mysterious spy in red does not live in your head."

Keep your finger on the pulse and run. After paying for lunch, you grabbed your coat and walked briskly to the exit. And only when Leon caught up with you on the street, trying to stop you by grabbing your wrist, you turned into a scorpion who tried to escape using all his poison.

It's the same thing again.

"You're the worst thing that's ever happened in my life!"- that's what you finally shouted out to him along with all the other shit, but it was this phrase that killed him completely. The gaze seemed to read information from your face, as if checking it for truthfulness. The fucking detector gave out the truth.

"Someone like you never knew what love was. You know what's funny? To Ada Wong, you're just a puppet. A toy that she can play with whenever she wants, and then put it on the shelf and forget." - You poured out your burning poison, turning words into caustic acid to kill him once and for all, despite your tear-stained face. - "That's enough! I will never forgive you! Run after your elusive spy and leave me alone. I deserve to be happy. I'm already broken inside by your fucking love!"

It wasn't fair. You just tore him apart with those words. He's never even half loved you, he's never compared you to anyone! But nothing will bring you back to him. You will no longer illuminate his pitch darkness with your light. Leon really felt like a bastard who trampled on someone who loved him.

He stood there, looking after you, listening to your hysterical sobs, while you ran away again to lick the wounds inflicted. It seemed like you were about to fall to the ground and die from all this pain. All those months that you have not seen him, in no way helped you to stop loving this man. Because things have only gotten worse.

You wanted to lie down and die. Everything you were rebuilding exploded again, turning you into ruins. Ada Wong would never have allowed herself to do that. But the pain you felt became physical. Your head is spinning, the world has become so crazy and alien, sickeningly disgusting, because all the protective mechanisms of orgasm just fail you after all the continuous work. You just screamed from all the injustice that happened to you, and the name of this injustice was Leon S.Kennedy. The fucking bastard who caused you to fall into the mud, acting like an escaped lunatic.

"I hate you," - Leon heard it. The most terrible thing is that he realized that he was destroying you. Your body was experiencing physical pain - spasms, and you already needed professional help. And yet he cradled you like a baby in his arms until you fainted.

One thing you didn't have time to say: despite the fact that you were burning alive, your stupid little heart continues to seek salvation in Leon. It hurts her, but she calls him for help, begging for caring kisses and warm hugs.

What does it feel like to be a girl with a sensitive heart and a brave soul? The moment you discovered that he still loves Ada made you split into many pieces. Lying in a hospital bed, taking medications whose names you don't remember, you heard your mother's muffled crying and fell asleep under it, pulling the blanket over your shoulders, as if under a white noise. Your father stroked your head as if you were a child, slightly dulling the pain that was pounding in your chest.

"You will be sad and forget" - that's what your mother told you when she found out that the cause of the disease was a man. "You won't even remember that you once loved him there."

But you didn't want to forget him. You're so tired of falling asleep thinking about him… because even when you close your eyes like a phantom, you continue to see him. How can you live with this poison in your soul? Leon poisoned you and didn't even send you flowers, considering that he got you into the hospital because of him. And yet part of you was waiting for him to come.

Leon didn't come.

Nervous breakdown on the background of constant stress. Friends also came to find out about your well-being, but only Carey stayed for a long time, trying to pull you out of oblivion, which the brain could not cope with.

She didn't say a word about Leon, fearing that any mention of him would provoke a violent reaction again. Everyone kept saying that everything would be fine and you'd be coming home soon. Did you really feel a little better, but did you feel depressed just thinking about what would happen next? Your beloved friend disappeared as you wanted.

It is in vain to grieve about a failed relationship that was still beautiful, despite the subsequent horror.

"It was wonderful. Goodbye, Leon," you said to yourself when you found a little strength to admit that he is not a monster at all. Time is fleeting, and nothing lasts forever, and you are also unlucky to find happiness in this man.

Drive all thoughts of him away and remember that you are no longer the two of you. Find the strength to learn to live without him and suppressed the passionate feeling of rushing to him under the door banging on it with his fists.

Burn this brand on yourself.

In fact, even in the void can be cozy. When the day of discharge came, your father insisted that you come home again and recover a little from the experience. But you knew that if you came home, you would never erase Leon from your memory. If there was a record with his name on it, you would have listened to it until I broke it.

It's like you've been living in a dark paradise now. There are no medications for memory, but the ones that you started taking clearly muffle all feelings, allowing you to focus on studying. It was quiet and cold in this dark paradise because Leon wasn't there, but you still remembered how your pain-filled body fell to the floor. And yet there was one significant plus that allowed you to live - it was peaceful in this paradise.

And yet, as if you were a lost thing on the shelf, it did not leave you.

November is a really disgusting month. The whole world seemed to be turned upside down. There was the usual calmness with the absence of something important.

But then stability came.

You and Leon don't talk anymore. Apparently, what was said greatly influenced him, but the flowers in your soul still do not bloom. His love for you is still breathing and part of him knows that you love him, but he will prefer to give you a chance to forget him and all the memories associated with him, given how he hurt your soul.

He would like to stay in your life, but not after what he did.

Therefore, he was content with what was left to him. Polaroids from your vacation with him and memories…and some things that you forgot at his place. Meaningless little things, but he kept them. Everyone focused on their lives. You were riding with friends on a bike, exposing your face to the wind, hugging a friend. Leon is back from his work. And everyone missed the other.

But there is no desire to fall into this abyss anymore. Then it was time for healing, it seemed that the impossible was happening, but fate desperately liked to bring your roads together.

Your face is a real masterpiece against the background of daubs. Among the hundreds, Leon noticed you with your bestia when you were choosing some kind of gift, he looked at you from afar.

The cradle of his suffering… Leon feels like he is filled with love for you again, watching you laugh merrily after recovering from all the wounds that he inflicted on you. So cheerful… he had no right to be with you. With the people he values, something happens all the time, but this time he himself is the one who repeatedly stabbed in the back.

You never blamed Ada for your failure, only him, and it was deserved, because until the moment of your loss, Leon still found these meetings… more personal and intimate even if sex between them has not been for a long time. Just something else attracted him, but he would never let ordinary attraction destroy what he really loves.

However, that's exactly what he did. A stupid compact left somewhere in the corner of the bedside table, which he still had from China… you made the wrong conclusions by backing them up with that inappropriate message on his phone and it was still enough to leave him forever. But now you were laughing and it warmed Leon, how he wants to hear this sound again at home, along with numerous words of tenderness.

It was not worth looking at you for so long because some force pulling each other forced you to find this gaze from which you can die and rise again. Everything beautiful has remained very far away. None of you will say a simple "hello" to the other, and yet why are you silent like fools?

Thanks to the pills, all the senses were dulled a little, allowing a stupid thought to slip into your head - to talk to him.

The doctor prescribed you treatment: medications, rest and moderate physical activity, and somewhere between the lines he wrote in invisible ink "no Leon Kennedy." And you're drowning in this swamp again, violating all the doctor's orders. It doesn't hurt yet, but it's already scary to exhale if you stumble, fall into the water and have to start over.

These silent glances with each other… everyone is afraid to take an extra step, because everything can collapse. Leon doesn't want to be the cause of your tears, he's already brought enough shit to a dear person. Everything beautiful has remained very far away. None of you will say a simple "hello" to the other, and yet why are you silent like fools?

Thanks to the pills, all my senses were dulled a little, allowing a stupid thought to slip into my head - to talk to him. You said a lot to him that day, a lot of things he didn't really deserve, trapping him.

But only now are you wondering: did you notice any moments correctly or did you come up with a reason for leaving? After all, sometimes you could catch the scent of someone else's perfume on his clothes and still believe that there is only him and you. Maybe Ada marked it on purpose so that you could figure out who it really belongs to? What if it was her subtle sign for you?

"Stay away from my territory"

But there was another truth. Your bestie got distracted looking at some jewelry in the window when you watched Leon leave. Have you ever wondered who is a masochist God or is it you? It looks like it was you, because no god forced you to follow him. And Leon felt this persecution, which made him turn around when he saw your indecisive face.

You yourself took a step towards him, and the heart itself began to revive after a long hibernation. The truth is, you had no idea what to say.

It was you who wiped away his tears when he was in too much pain.

It was you who banished all his fears when he woke up in the middle of the night.

You were holding his hand. Not Ada.

"I'm sorry…" You nodded for some reason. - "I'm not… princess… this is a chance meeting. I didn't want to bother you, so you wouldn't think about me.

"I know." - Leon barely heard what you said to him, looking away from his eyes. "I'm sorry for what I said to you then.

"What?" - his reaction made your lips smile with a kind smile that he could not forget. Leon seemed really discouraged, but you just turned around to look at Carey to make sure she wouldn't go crazy when she saw who you were talking to. Definitely, it's all because of the pills.

"I said you were the worst thing that happened in my life, but that's not true. In fact, I only told you a lot because I wanted you to be as hurt as I was. However, I shouldn't have done that. You're a good man. I behaved terribly, like a naughty child."

Leon couldn't understand what had just happened to him. His pupils seemed to widen at the impossible words and your ridiculous apologies. After all, if anyone should be apologizing, it's him, because he drove you to a nervous breakdown. He shook his head, just in case checking to see if you were a figment of his imagination, but you were still standing there. Right in front of him. Was what was happening a prank?

Maybe it's karma?

"You don't have to apologize" - all Leon could squeeze out of himself and you just shrugged your shoulder for a long time without answering anything.

"I apologize for saying too much. It's my fault that I ended up in the hospital, not yours. But I'm not apologizing for that…" Ada's name stuck in throat.

"For leaving?" - Leon grinned when you silently agreed with him. - "At least you had the right to. I don't want to hurt you anymore. You've had enough of me already. "

He wanted to touch you. Just to touch your cheek or hand one last time. He didn't want to let you go, but he knew he couldn't keep around if you didn't want to. Leon snorts, trying to shake off this desire. What kind of kisses can we talk about if you don't love him? All hopes for at least some stability in his life burst like a balloon, and Leon himself held the needle in his hands.

"Thank you for your wonderful attitude!" - You shoot him again, saying these words, and Leon recoils from the one he was so eager to see. - "Even if we didn't succeed, I'm still grateful to you. The last few months have been difficult, but it's my own fault. You didn't promise me anything… I've had time to think. With this Ada, everything is much more complicated and longer for you than with me, and I probably didn't want to admit it to myself. I put on pink glasses and didn't want to see anything but pink shades. You didn't need my heart, and you told me about it at the very beginning, but that's how young she is…" - You laughed nervously, feeling that the effect of the pills seems to be starting to evaporate. - Someone has watched too many movies about love. Forgive me for these tantrums if you can."

Carey screamed loudly and you both turned around at her exclamation when she pulled you by the hand trying to take you away from this man. It even amused you a little, but something still pleased your poor soul more - you were able to admit to yourself that your fault was present in this breakup. Not just Leon.

Leon didn't have time to say a word, but it was in vain for him to be sad. You have forgiven him and yourself. It was the most important event that finally brought a bit of long-awaited relief.

There was only one thing you didn't want to understand, either the brain was using a dirty autosuggestion technique, or it was the pills that dorktor prescribed for you. but the point is this:

Kennedy needed your heart. He needed your love, because everything he had, he had already given to you.

He should have apologized, not you. He wanted to come to the hospital to pick you up, but changed his mind at the last moment, fearing that his presence would complicate the situation. And yet Leon followed you to the exit when Carey shouted at him not to dare approach.

It seems that this is the reason for your separation . The one who hammered into you the idiotic idea that you were his "meat for fucking".

But you are no longer running away from him, however, is it really necessary to break into an already destroyed world again, where he destroyed everything. Leon no longer leaves messages, does not call and does not look for a meeting, and you also began to live quietly feeling only constant fatigue and unwillingness to do anything. And it didn't work out with the guys, there were friends, but it didn't go beyond fun gatherings, even if they tried to flirt.

Looks like your heart still belongs to Leon. For him, it's probably a souvenir, and you have a hole in your chest.

Do you remember that bar where we met for the first time? Now, sitting at the same table, you're looking at the place where Leon was with some damn expensive bottle of whiskey. Without thinking about anything. You straightened your legs and just indulged in sweet memories that no longer caused any harm. It's a little sad, but you're still too young to be disappointed in yourself.

Previously, there was some kind of vigorous cocktail of disappointment, hatred, sadness and contempt inside, but now there is absolutely nothing. It's like you finally got a sobering slap in the face, returning to your former state and admitting that suffering is shit.

Was there any point in talking to Leon? He's probably already broken up with his feeble-minded girlfriend and now he's either found another one or is chasing Ada-their favorite cat-and-mouse game. Of course, he really has some part of your cosmetics left in his apartment, a favorite mug, maybe something else… oh! a notebook. What a stupid thing, because there was nothing important in this notebook except funny drawings and a list of products. Well, maybe something else in small things. Leon probably threw everything away a long time ago.

Although you would like to return the mug.

The mug that he gave you with an idiotic inscription.

You unlocked your phone and saw some excited messages from your father. After quickly answering them, you clicked on Leon's number. Just one click separated you. You could have texted or called, but you spat and just put the phone back in your pocket. It would be necessary to delete his number.

And he still has your damn expensive perfume. It is not like the one used by Ada Wong - her fragrance is dominated by fresh citrus notes combined with something cold. A grenade? You liked calmer floral scents. Lilac and gooseberry have a good aroma.

And you would have torn it off with your own hands. Because the bottle cost a lot of money, and was in a limited collection. For some reason, now you remember him and it became so insulting that you lost such an expensive thing (even if Kennedy bought it for you again). But it's still a damn stupid reason to look for a meeting with him!

In general, you should have been kicked out of his head too. Leon kept your things close on purpose but didn't touch them. One part of him hoped that you would remember them and come to pick them up, and the other party was afraid that then he would have nothing left. The last memories will be gone. He loved flipping through your notebook, finding funny the drawings you made while you were sitting at boring lectures.

He doesn't care, he knows that you liked this perfume, and he also knows that you can't afford such a luxury right now. It's a shitty act to look for a meeting with you again when all the dots are already set.

Even though he wants to see you, can he really let you go later?

However… he wants to write to you. Fingers are already typing a message when an alert with your number and a short phrase appears in front of the screen: Can I pick up some things?

Holy shit! YES!

Leon answered immediately. The usual "yes" despite the fact that everything inside was screaming. A couple of minutes later, another message came asking when you could do it and he wanted to answer in a sarcastic manner, what exactly is for you at any convenient time.

But the line came out the usual "when you want, then take it." Maybe it was a little rude.

Nothing else followed. Leon had no idea when to expect you. Apartment was in terrible condition. In addition, there was your wilted cactus on the computer table. Cactus. Wilted. Maybe because his hostess collected all the belongings and left forgetting him?

Leon didn't know how to take care of him at all. Just poured half-drunk water into a small flower pot, and that's it. The flower that grew on it has long disappeared, and the cactus itself has turned yellow. He turned the pot over in his hand, looking at it from all sides, wondering if it could be fixed somehow in a short time, but decided that if it really upset you, he would buy exactly the same one.

At least to make it up to you a little.

After about an hour of thinking, there was a quiet knock on the door. Leon, casting a cursory glance once again at the unfortunate cactus, let you into the apartment pretty quickly, but you stood there for a few more seconds as if you were afraid to enter the lion's den, which would certainly bite off your head if he crossed the threshold of the apartment.

"Hey," - Your hand waved nervously in the air as a greeting when you were here again, afraid of being captured by your own memories.

Leon only apologized for the mess (although he managed to clean up some things while you were just standing outside the door for about 30 minutes, gaining strength to knock) and offered you tea, knowing how much you love him. A great opportunity to find out what happened to your favorite mug, but you refused first of all by casting a glance at the withered plant.

"I watered him from time to time." He hesitated, scratching his head with his hand. - "Maybe he needed fertilizer, but I didn't know anything about it, especially since it's a cactus!.. Okay sweetheart, just let me buy you a new one or something.

Your laughter slightly diluted the gloomy atmosphere, and Leon clearly felt better.

"It's all right." - A small pot appeared in your hands with the intention of taking it and then throwing it away. - "To be honest, this guy has been sick for a long time. Eventually, he still fell to the death of the brave."

You smiled wearily, making some kind of hero out of a cactus, and your ex-boyfriend also picked up the cheerful mood, lowering his head as he leaned back against the bar, watching his angel take the last thing he had left from this relationship.

Leon compares this to the fact that you gave him the strongest and most beautiful wings when you agreed to be with him. Something truly pure and bright, which allowed him to fight with bioweapons, only for the sake of you and your kind. And now with relentless cruelty you are tearing these wings along with the spine. As the most severe punishment for a mistake.

You silently gather your things, trying not to let your hands shake as Leon watches your actions, fighting the urge to try to stop you again.

Inside, it feels like a guitar string is breaking or sad chords are playing in the soul. One sentence: All gone. You will be left behind, like another experienced chapter of his life, but the fact that the pages of this chapter were full of sincere joy only makes it worse.

Leon's eyes are on the lookout for anything that might help you change your mind. Turn the pages of the book of life a little back and rewrite the plot, correcting this misunderstanding. Although luck is not on his side again.

How to regain lost trust?

It was hardly possible. He could show you those messages from Ada, try to prove that the powder box has been in the trash for a long time, but would you believe him?

He called you by your name as you put the rest of your cosmetics in your bag, thinking that Leon didn't have anything particularly important from your things left. Of course, you turned around meeting with those eyes in which if you look for a long time you can drown, but now only Leon was choking of the two.

"You said then that I didn't promise you anything. it was true, I didn't really make any promises. No vows that I want a family, children and everything else that normal people have, since my work does not imply their presence." - Leon moved to a safe distance so you wouldn't feel uncomfortable. Unlike you, even when under stress, he was well oriented and adjusted to the situation, because your eyes were already watering. - "I don’t understand at all what you saw in me that you fell in love with so much, but it was not non-reciprocal. Maybe I didn't say much, but I meant it. These gifts, trips, dinners in restaurants..."

"In your words, I became like a gold digger who managed to find a rich fool." - You interrupted him with a loud squelching nose.

"What?... oh no! Fuck... I didn't mean it. I just know I screwed up. I have a whole carload of problems that I didn't want and don't want to involve you in. Ada - is in this carload . You are right, a lot connects me with her and the story is very long, but believe me, this is not at all what I really want. When I was 21, it was damn interesting. I was attracted to her for many years until that outbreak in Lanshiang. I won’t lie, we met not only on missions, but also after them; Ada has repeatedly saved and helped me; I will not lie and say that I have never had sex with her, but! There is a huge difference between the usual attraction to each other and really sincere feelings. And you were never fucking meat to me!" - Leon raised his voice, but not to hurt you. These crystal blue eyes resembling ice, no matter how paradoxical it may sound, could melt the heart of anyone. He was the one who could turn you into a puddle in seconds. - "From the moment you agreed to be with me, I had no relationship with Ada other than working. Even in my thoughts. We have our own style of communication - it's true. Flirting and banter, but when you showed up…I didn't need anything else."

"Nevertheless, you have loved her for more than ten years. It's not an attachment anymore, Leon. It's weird that I have to explain this to you." - There was no longer that stone in your chest that prevented you from speaking. You felt like a kind of abbess who reveals the truth to the boy standing in front of you (who was much older). - "We managed to get into all this dirt like this…"

"Was our relationship dirt for you?" - You looked up at him. You could clearly see the experience, pain and sadness. As if what happened broke him completely. Leon frowned, waiting for your long answer. - "I haven't always been open with you, and yes, you deserve a younger guy. Someone from your college or just a nice man your age. But you really were the best episode in my life, despite the fact that things weren't always smooth between us."

"It's not about me" - The lip gloss that you were restlessly twisting in your hands all this time finally fell out, rolling to Leon's feet, as if it was a sign to finally approach him, but you were afraid of getting burned again.- "Understand me… I want to be loved. For real. I'm not a fool either, although you probably think I am…"

"I never thought that about you. Naive, careless - yes. But you always had enough brains."

"Women like Ada Wong… -" you kept trying to ignore Leon's gaze. - "You can't get them out of your head. A kind of fatal beauty, capable of hitting any man to death. Such women have no rivals, and you do not consider it an insult, but she chose you, which means that you belong to her forever. However, you don't mind, do you? If I were you, I wouldn't be able to resist her either."

"Yes… - Leon smiled very unpleasantly, sitting down on the edge of the bed, throwing you your lip gloss, which you managed to catch and throw into a gym bag. - "Manipulation; constant concealment of information; a rather specific concept of "relationship". We've been lovers for a long time-I won't deny it, besides, it doesn't make sense. But I'm telling you the truth: you've become everything to me. As I could, I showed my love and care. Trust me, sweetheart , when you get into the same shit year after year, not knowing if you'll live to see the next day… well, it's a bit tedious. With Ada BEFORE YOU, I had some stability. The stability of our crazy meetings, yes, I had feelings. Until I realized that all this is fucking nonsense and it's not love at all, but an ordinary attachment to a person I've known for many years. And it was never love."

"More than ten years…" - Leon shook his head when you said those words one by one, slowly, as if savoring each. - "If you wanted to stop everything, you would stop it, but she is really a part of you that you will never let go. She occupies a big place in your heart, and I don't want to sit on the bench at all, so that during your next break you come to me. Don't you think it's unfair to me and my feelings?"

You trembled. The nerves began to give up again and the fingertips began to go numb, covered with a sticky cold sweat. Trying to listen to your own feeling, you only heard the frantic beating of your heart and the blood pounding in your ears. In some ways, it resembled a pre-fainting state. Part of you knew that Leon wouldn't do anything wrong, and the other part was terrified of the conversation going on.

You urgently needed to grab something to distract yourself. But most of the things were already in the bag.

On the other hand, it was hard to tell what Leon was thinking. His eyes focused on one point-you. A mixture of misunderstanding, irritation and bitterness in one bottle. He got the feeling that you were trying to convince him to believe your own lies, because during the time that you were together, Leon never gave a reason to think that there was someone third in his life.

But you felt something that you wanted to tell him against your better judgment for a long time. This is what you started falling asleep with when you first started suspecting him of cheating, despite the fact that it was very stupid.

"I thought my love was enough for you and me. I was ready to forgive you for the first mistake, Leon. I thought I could be irreplaceable for you, but now I realize that I'm not her equal."

"God, can you hear yourself?" - Leon ran his hand through his hair pulling it back, sincerely tired of explaining the same thing to you. As if you really were…blunt.

However, he didn't need to tell you, you yourself understood what he was thinking. And yes, it was stupid to come here again. You're really dumb.

"The conversation reached a dead end." - you continued to collect the rest of the things, once again capitulating to him.

"You're leading him to a dead end!" - Leon jumped up from his seat, shouting loudly at the top of his voice. You recoiled to the side, away from his formidable figure, next to which your own seemed very tiny. Your subconscious was still saying "don't be afraid," but your instincts were afraid of any violence. He could scream, he could hit… Leon never did this, it was the lowest act for him to hit another (unless circumstances require it), and disputes were generally resolved by ordinary conversation. You knew he could raise his voice, but Leon chose to leave before he reached boiling point. - "What else do I have to tell you to make you believe me?"

Your heart sank. But stand still. The commanding tone of the inner voice told you to resist, and apparently the small iron makings of your father's character were passed on to you. As a last resort, you quickly glanced towards the door, holding a bag in your hands, figuring out a plan in case of escape, and Leon noticed your strange behavior. Disappointed once again. In myself or maybe already in you? Do you really think he's such a monster?

"Why the fuck are you shaking so much?" - It wasn't funny anymore. Leon snatched the bag and threw it with all his might into a corner, not caring about the fragile contents. - "One big quarrel and I became the son of a bitch who beat you up or what? I'm not an angel, and with all my adoration, you're not a gift either! But did I hurt you at least once?!

"Yes!" - In a fit of emotion, you screamed, closing the distance with one big step. Leon chuckled. He meant physical pain, not mental pain. - "You hurt me. And it's still hard for me to live with this wound. I screwed up too. You know, I'm not the only loser here! And this is not a quarrel! You're a fucking jerk who still can't figure out his feelings. You didn't promise me shit, and it's my mistake that I came up with a big love for you ! But no one who has a conscience and respect for a partner will keep a compact of an ex-girlfriend and correspond with her in a joking manner. For some reason, my father does not allow himself to do this. No truly loving man will ever allow himself to do this! And instead of at least admitting the obvious, you convince me of something else! Tell me, Leon, if I did this to you, would you want to keep talking? Would you be able to trust me? "

"This shit has been lying there for a fucking cloud of time. I've already forgotten about her!"

Now both of you have switched to raised tones. You weren't scared anymore. The anger inside you was growing, erasing absolutely all the feelings that had been blunted before. Now you wanted to be fucking rude to him again, and that's probably what he liked about you. Leon even suspected that you would flare up like a match and be able to hit him.

"Forgot about the messages too?!"

"Fuck..." - It was unbearable to fight with you. Like a stubborn sheep who believed a stupid fool - his damn friend Carey. Leon pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened a message chat with Ada. There was no government information there, so he turned the screen to your face so that you could see what was written months earlier. But you didn't even look. Until Leon grabbed your wrist and put the smartphone in your hand. - "Look, read it since you're so sure that I still love Ada. It already seems to me that you are crazy about her".

Stubbornness was not always the best trait of your character, so you pressed the button on the side of the screen and just put the phone on the bedside table, making it clear that you would not stoop to such baseness to dig into other people's things. You also had a sense of your own worthiness.

"What happened?" - Leon croaked, taking a step forward. - "You wanted proof-I gave it to you."

"I don't want anything anymore Leon"

Only one thought was spinning in your head like a gear, "In vain. You shouldn't have come! Nobody got better from the fact that you disturbed this wound by reopening it." And yet you lied to yourself first of all. Leon's anger is caused by your disbelief, but even in a fit of the most terrible rage, he never did anything to you. Although you definitely felt uncomfortable from the tense atmosphere that had developed, where almost sparks were flying around the room, you still kept well with your arms crossed on your chest.

You needed Leon. You still wanted to love him and hugging a pillow at night you imagined that you were hugging him. But agreeing to be a fallback is also not in your style. There will still be a drop of pride for this.

So you just went to your bag, trying to pick it up to pick up the last belongings and leave, but Leon grabs your wrist. No pain. A firm grip is like a call to stop and give him a few more tries before he lets you go forever.

And you freeze, yielding to your instincts that purr sweetly from the slightest intimacy with this man. I wonder if Leon feels your pulse beating wildly? He lets go of your hand, biting his lower lip, and God, how you want to reach out to him to remember again what it's like to be his lover…

"So you came here just to break my heart again?" - his palms rested on your face, forcing you to look at him. For a second you suffocated drowning in the fragrance of his body and losing your mind looking into those eyes again. It's like they were pulling the soul out of you. - "Which of us is hurting the other more? First you reject me by running away for two months, then you pack up and say you never want to see me, but now you're coming back again… Of the two of us, who is the greater sadist?"

Your cheek pressed against his palm. A wave of heat spread throughout your body in small electrical discharges, as if you had taken a heavy intoxicating drug that turned you into clay in his hands. Leon pressed his forehead against yours, closing his eyes so that you could listen to the steady breathing and you were so waiting for the last kiss. At least a light touch of his lips…

Maybe in fact the main villain of this story was not Leon at all, but you yourself?

"I do not know," - somehow you whispered barely audible. Despite your closeness, you weren't sure Leon heard. -" I'm completely confused"

His bangs fell over your eyes, which made you smile a little.

"Do you want to leave?" - A question that made the body shudder with fright. As if you didn't want him to ask it to you, because an inner voice kept saying "no" and common sense began to doubt the correctness of the decisions made earlier. - "I don't want to let you go, but I can't forcibly hold you either. I really love you no matter what you think of yourself there, and it doesn't matter whether you believe me or not."

"I want to believe you but" - the voice trembled like a string. You lowered your gaze, trying to blink away the hateful tears despite the fact that Leon continued to hold your face.

"What?"

"I'm afraid." - you finally confessed, feeling a huge crack in your heart. Leon pressed you to his chest and you were grateful to him at that second because you no longer had the strength to control your emotions. - "I'm just afraid"

"My love? Or what?"

You didn't know what you were afraid of anymore. Leon pressed his cheek to the top of your head, holding the back of your head. Both of you didn't even notice how it started raining outside, creating an atmosphere of silence and loneliness. All that the soul craved was to stay standing like that for longer or even for an eternity. You feel his other hand on your waist, but you don't have the resolve to hug him back.

"It's not even about Ada, right?" - you didn't say anything. - "Do you really distrust me so much that you are ready to believe anyone but me?"

"You smelled of her perfume; you kept her things and never trusted me. I've always been away from you."

"Believe me angel, the shit that I constantly see haunts me almost every night and this is not what I want for you at all. Even if you begged me, I would never tell you about it. And about the rest…I have no idea what you smelled there."

Leon's words sounded like a final chord. No more excuses. Your body reflexively pressed against him, feeling the lost warmth of your native closeness, which caused the corners of Leon's lips to slightly rise up.

And in the end, you succumbed to the temptation of clasping his back with your trembling hands, covering your eyes from the fatigue of what is happening.

His lips touched your hair, and the noisy intake of breath that followed made him plunge into memories. It seemed like everything was covered in a misty haze, and your scent could make him lose his mind, even if it was for brief moments. The anxiety of a quick farewell enveloped the body, but there was something else… something that excites the mind regardless of temperature. A strange and at the same time precious emotion that has returned comfort to you two, affectionate behavior to each other, warmth of soul. This is something from the depths of the heart.

If Ada was a candle all this time, whose light illuminated a narrow space, then you were like the sun, whose warmth and beauty he missed so much. Leon realized that he was looking at a dazzling man with a huge sun inside, which dispelled all the darkness that had hung over him since the days of Raccoon City.

He knew he had no right to do that, and you could have pushed him away, but Leon wanted to feel your light one last time. Tearing you away from his shoulder so that the next moment he could press his lips to yours, memorizing your sweet taste. Like a rare nectar that can only be tasted once. A crushing kiss filled with belated remorse.

"Let this be my parting gift"

You're not annoyed or even angry. Whatever happens, you will always love him more than you should. So much time spent in vain to burn bittersweet feelings out of a stupid heart and stop following stupid emotions. Everything was absolutely in vain.

You pursed your lips when Leon started pulling away from you. As an avalanche hit a lonely wanderer, so you were dying at this second. leon believed that his love was hurting you and he is ready to step back so that you can heal, but the fact is that now you are at a crossroads again, not knowing the right way.

So maybe we should turn back?

You don't have an umbrella, just a thin jacket, and it's still raining mercilessly outside, as if someone is mourning the heavens. Drops trickle down the glass, and you wipe away your own tears, trying to listen to the footsteps behind you, but they are not there. A gigantic heaviness rolled over.

"It's stupid," you sobbed when you heard his voice, the one that cut you from the inside like a knife blade, forcing you to clench your teeth. - "I will never look for a meeting with you again, but still…stay with me."

"I..I can not…don't know" - Leon hugged you from behind again. Your voice was lost in hoarse sobs and if it weren't for his strong hands, your knees would hit the floor. It was as if the scenario of that day was repeating itself. - "I don't want to leave. I love you so much..."

You covered your mouth with your hand, unable to hold back your sobs any longer. It's just that emotions poured out in a flurry, turning you into a crying mess. However, the grip on your thin shoulders tightened when Leon turned you around to face him, holding you in a vice.

And your hand felt so good on his neck… Leon smiled as if he didn't want to know anything else in the world, starting to cover your tearful face with smudged kisses lingering on your lips and when you started answering all the barriers finally collapsed.

"So you'll stay." - no question. - "No more tears. No jealousy. You're here with me."

"Lee..on…" - with difficulty pronouncing his name, he burst into your mouth with a new kiss that stopped your breath. His tongue easily slid into your mouth intertwining with yours and you knew where to put yourself, allowing his hands to wander over your body.

"Either you leave now and never come back, or we send everything to hell and forget all the shit that happened to us. Choose now."

You were hanging around his neck, and to be honest, this really was your last chance to escape. It was only necessary to make a movement to the side, to pull away from him, but you stood still. One minute. Two… maybe the last two minutes of your sane thoughts.

You stayed, continuing to look into those sky-blue eyes, pressing your forehead against his, without interrupting eye contact. The person standing in front of you was irreplaceable, and now you would rather part with your life than agree to part with him.

Leon stroked your cheek with a funny peck on the lips, causing a sincere smile.

"Never dare to doubt me. Don't ever leave again. You and I will go somewhere far, far away from here. Let's drop everything and go to some house on the shore of the lake, where we will enjoy the tranquility and each other." - another kiss on the swollen nose. You just nodded, clinging to his T-shirt.

You've always been more of a vanilla girl, but Leon decided that rudeness would be superfluous. Not now and not tonight. He pulled off your clothes along with your underwear, throwing you on the soft bed that you already shared with him once and all you could think about was how he proved his love for you, holding you motionless in his arms, licking wet tracks from his cheeks. You didn't have the strength to fight him trying to take the initiative, the only thing you were thinking about was deep slow thrusts knocking moans out of your mouth. Leon was hugging you to him with great greed and a bit of fear, as if you could run away from him now. That's why he whispered soothing words and praise in your ear all the while tucking your hair back.

"I love you. You have no right to think otherwise. You're just my pretty girl, look at me, beautiful" - Leon threw you on the pillow, forcing you to open your eyes. Panting, you obeyed, wrapping your legs around his torso, pressing even closer to him, while Leon found your hand, twining your fingers together. - "I need you. You're my favorite girl, I love you so much. More than anything in the world, I value you, don't you dare leave me anymore, angel."

His smooth movements were maddening. Leaning over to you, he caught your lips pulling into a gentle kiss, but you immediately interrupted him leaning against his cheek like a petting cat, losing his head and blushing from vulgar pops and squelching sounds due to the abundance of lubricant.

"Don't leave me," - you freed your hands trying to straddle him, but Leon crossed your sad attempt pressing only harder to the mattress. - "I'm not leaving anymore, I swear. I'm so sorry… I've never wanted anyone more than you. Only you…my love…"

He was so gentle with you. There could be bruises from your closeness in some places, but you felt as good as ever in all the past months of separation. A loud moan escaped his lips when he plunged into you too deeply. His seed soiled your belly when he cum snuggling up to you.

You don't remember exactly when your sanity returned to you, but you definitely felt it when Leon, after the second round and long hugs with compliments, took you to the shower where he carefully washed off the traces of your intimacy with him, gently kissing and sucking every bruise left from his fingers, promising that he would take care of it in the morning.

You ran your fingers over his wet bangs, brushing it away from his eyes, which Leon used when he picked you up under the hips after taking a hot shower to take you back to his bed and let you rest.

Actually, the bed linen should have been changed too, but you two didn't care at all. Leon pulled you closer to him, laying you on his chest, hugging you with both hands, stopping any attempts to escape, but you were no longer planning to run anywhere. He fell asleep pretty quickly, and you lay motionless next to him for another hour, tormented by a feeling of hunger and thinking how you could get to the refrigerator without disturbing a light sleep. His shirt was left lying on the floor and with an awkward movement, as if deceiving a sleeping man with the desire to turn over, you carefully free yourself from the ring of embraces by getting out of bed. You take a cursory glance at Leon, making sure that he is still asleep and throw it on hastily without even buttoning his shirt, leaving the bedroom with light steps with the obvious intention of robbing his refrigerator.

Slowly and on tiptoe… wanting to have a snack at least with a sandwich, you realize when you open the door that a mouse has hanged itself in the refrigerator. Nothing particularly edible, and what Leon ate all this time, also remains a mystery.

Although it seems the cheese seemed quite usable. It's not too satisfying after a particularly sinful night, but you can last until morning. You already want to close the door when suddenly you realize with a sixth sense that someone is standing behind you, forcing you to freeze in place with a slice of cheese in your teeth.

But Leon just stroked your thighs laughing at the silent scene.

"I'm hungry" - That's the whole excuse. - "I'm sorry, but I won't fall asleep if I don't eat something…"

"I told you not to leave me anywhere." - It sounded harsh, but with obvious notes of playfulness, especially since Leon was clearly staring at your breasts. - "You could have asked me instead of running away again. God, stop eating that cheese. I don't want you to get poisoned!"

"Then feed me something or I'll starve to death. I definitely won't be able to return from the other world."

Leon took the fucking cheese out of your hands after enjoying this sweet conversation between two lovers and one hungry heart and threw you over his shoulder carrying you back to the bedroom, putting you back in his bed.

"And now you're lying or sitting in bed like the obedient girl you are while I bring us something to eat. If you are not in this place, blame yourself. You've already rubbed my nerves and yours enough, angel." - You nodded, still feeling the residual stress from the hysteria you experienced, but you were still smiling sweetly, hanging one leg over the edge of the bed, teasing Leon a little, who was getting dressed all this time. He noticed your stupid game and took a leather jacket from the closet on the way out of the bedroom tickled your heel, forcing you to hide it back under the blanket.

"You're staying here. So that when I come back, and it will be very soon, I will find you in this very place." - Notes of sadness and fatigue were still hovering in his eyes, so you didn't argue, but just agreed.

"I'll be here. It's raining outside anyway and I don't have an umbrella with me."

Leon flicked you on the nose, clearly not appreciating the joke. He didn't even ask what you wanted, even though he already knew about your taste preferences. Therefore, as soon as the door slammed shut, you quickly reached for your mobile phone, answering missed calls from your parents, explaining to them that you just dozed off and didn't hear the mobile. In general, you have found something to do by digging into your phone, checking messages and flipping through the news feed in the social network, thinking only about Leon and the food that he should bring soon.

It all still seemed unreal. You looked at the corner where your abandoned bag was left lying around, as if confirming reality. It's unlikely to be possible to pretend that nothing happened and Leon really looked too tired, but right now you didn't want to think about anything else except his return. Perhaps you have already suffered enough and you really should go on vacation together somewhere away from the hustle and bustle of the world? Leon will probably want to talk about this topic again with a fresher head when he calms down a little.

In the end, finding you sleeping in his bed was a really beautiful reality that he was afraid he had already lost. In his shirt, with pretty bare thighs, sleeping lightly on his pillow. Leon put the bag of food on the table, taking off his jacket just to hug you, proving to himself once again that this is really not a dream.

You really stayed with him and he won't let you leave anymore.

#leon kennedy #leon scott kennedy #leon s kennedy #leon x reader #leon kennedy x reader #resident evil #leon s kennedy x reader #reader #leon kennedy x you #resident evil x reader #re

[singingcicadas]

"Rodimus joining the Autobots in Autocracy and being supportive of Optimus makes no sense and is just an example of successful Autobot propaganda b/c he's been exposed to Autobot crimes his whole life and the Autobots forced him to bomb Nyon" will forever be a wild take to me cuz his complete reasoning process is pretty clearly spelled out in the comic? It's like, the main focal point of his entire screentime in Autocracy. For Rodimus there's never been any confusion about the perpetrator behind the "Autobot crimes". There’s Zeta’s crimes and there’s Orion. With a massive distinction between the two. With said distinction being extremely important, because one the first things he says to Orion is literally:

And why does he believe that Orion's different? Because of Orion's speech to the Senate.

Guess what was in that speech:

The origin of the Autobot name. Orion's idealized vision of the freedom and autonomy that the name was meant to represent. Rodimus knew what the true Autobot values were intended to be before the government took the name for their own purposes, and he identified with those values enough to straight up put his life into Orion's hands:

Not just his own life. Everyone in the Acropolex. Everyone in Nyon. Betting on nothing but Orion's conscience. Why would he do this if he didn't already believe Orion to be a good person worthy of a gamble on his trust? If he didn't believe that Orion still held true to his words in the Senate? He knows that Zeta's out for his blood, that Zeta cares nothing about his citizens except bleeding them dry. He's always known the true depths of government atrocities, he lived in the worst of it his whole life. It's why he wired the whole city with bombs as contingency, he always knew it would come down to something like this. But if he thought that Zeta and Orion were no different for their part in the "Autobot crimes", then why would he take Orion to the Acropolex, to see the most vulnerable suffering of their people, and expect him to care enough to side with them against his own government?

Even on the brink of being forced to destroy his own home he's still very aware of who's the real enemy here. After their meeting he's certain that Orion's Autobots are on his side, it was their diversion that bought them enough time to get himself and the few he could out of detonation range. Zeta wants to kill all of them; they're all victims here. Rodimus never blamed Nyon's destruction on anyone other than Zeta, least of all Orion's group.

Imo this... is a completely appropriate and empathetic response to Rodimus' grief? like he does make leadership sound all doom and gloom but it is an accurate reflection of Rodimus' feelings (as well as his own) and he's telling Rodimus that it's okay to feel that way b/c he feels like that too!

The "you faced an impossible situation" bit is just stating the plain truth. Orion isn't condoning or condemning Rodimus' decision, it's not his place to do so. He wasn't the one forced into making the choice, Rodimus was. Rodimus made his choice and now has to live with it. Orion could only offer understanding. like idk what else he could have said, it's not even his place to offer absolution, because even though Rodimus feels guilty he doesn't regret anything. When he defended himself to Bumblebee he used the exact same words Orion did: he did what he had to do.

If the trust he placed in Orion before in the Acropolex was a wild bid in the face of desperation, then the trust that he's placing in Orion now—admitting his guilt and grief, showing vulnerability—is purely of his own choice. To which Orion reciprocated by revealing the weight of his own burdens. This is the kind of interaction that friends share. Which means they're friends now. Is it so unreasonable for Rodimus to want to follow the leadership of a friend, someone whose speech against the Senate that he'd admired, someone who he believed to be different and proved himself as worthy of his trust, someone who he fought beside and saved each other's lives and shared his desire for peace?

Claiming that Rodimus would be averse against joining the Autobots due to their past complicity in crimes under Zeta is vastly misunderstanding his character b/c he's not the type of person who thinks like that. Like for one thing he'd never let historical grudges get in the way of progressing towards a better future (think Lost Light and Megatron). It also completely misses the point of his scene with Orion in the Acropolex, which is about believing the best in people and making the right choices going forward when presented with past mistakes. Also Rodimus isn't stupid he's well aware that Zeta's Autobot cause and Orion's Autobot cause are two completely different things. The first thing Optimus did after becoming Prime was to renounce the old government. Being an Autobot under Optimus would be restoring honour and integrity to the name. if anything that should come off as extra appealing to him cuz he likes restoring stuff like Cyberutopia and the Golden Age.

"Rodimus should join the Decepticons" makes even less sense. Rodimus does come onscreen as an established Decepticon sympathizer but if you think about it his contact with Decepticons is limited to them providing him with weapon supplies. It's a vendor-patron relationship and their goal is to overthrow the government with propaganda keywords being "freedom" "equality" "emancipation" of course he would be a sympathizer. It's a noble cause if looked at from afar. But once the events of Nyon happens he's suddenly forced to get all up and close with Megatron and his higher-ups. and what does he see.

This is how Megatron fought Zeta:

This is what Megatron did to Orion:

This is how Decepticons treat their allies, right after announcing public amnesty:

This is Megatron's opinion of Zeta, after everything he did:

This is Megatron's idea of entertainment:

After seeing all that, isn't it perfectly natural for Rodimus to arrive at this conclusion regarding Megatron and the Decepticons:

Oh my god I can't believe I ever trusted these thugs.

Now that he's seen for himself that the Decepticons are the opposite of freedom, Orion trying to arrest Swindle at the beginning of the comic would have made sense to him. He now gets why they were fighting the Decepticons so hard.

That's basically the whole thought process for Rodimus joining the Autobots. The logic's pretty sound. There's no "Autobot propaganda" involved anywhere. Rodimus was the one who sought Orion out to make him choose his side. Rodimus was the one who rescued the Autobots from Megatron. Rodimus was the one who asked to join. The Autobots never tried to recruit him.

#neat trivia: Rodimus didn't really believe the matrix was real before he saw it in Optimus #Optimus becoming Prime was frosting on the cake but Rodimus joined up before that #I don't even know where the idea of 'Autobot propaganda' comes from like it's not propaganda if they're stating the truth #but at the same time a lot of ppl seems to really buy into Decepticon propaganda of 'freedom for the oppressed' #Optimus does give a speech at his ascension but it nowhere remotely resembles propaganda #all he did in that speech was renounce the old government and say unite don't let the Decepticons rule you #that's like saying unite against the nazis #at the time of the Acropolex meeting Rodimus believed in Orion more than Orion believed in himself #transformers #idw transformers #optimus prime #rodimus #autocracy #hot rod

[kaymagicshop7]

Set Me Free-

Chapter 1 - The Arrival🐅

Summary-

Jin runs a hybrid safe house, to help those adjust in normal life again, coming from difficult backgrounds and to learn to be amongst humans again.

Jin has a sister who helps him out when needed, but he is very protective over her, will he let be close to the hybrids?

What happens when 6 hybrid from completely different background ends up in his care, will there be heartbreak and fights?

Can everyone get along in the end?

BTS are their own people, anything that happens in this book is purely fictional and made from my imagination.

Warnings- Mention of violence, blood, fighting, pet names, protectiveness, mentions of aggression, mention of scents, mxm, mxf, anxiety, panic attacks, strong language

Jin POV-

It was the early hours of the morning when I woke up, I was restless all night, I just couldn't sleep.

I was probably restless as we were expecting a new pack of hybrids.

I house hybrids, a hybrid safe house. This house is a safe place where they can tried to be rehabilitated to go back into the world. They come here from a shelter that they stay in the city. The shelter in the city are not always ideal for hybrids coming out of fighting rings, slavery and amongst other problems, but some shelters are nasty towards hybrids, but I work with one of the nice ones.

Hybrids are free people now they have the same rights as humans, but there are some people, some humans in this would that just want to harm them, keep them as pets, abuse them or fight them.

But we've housed hybrid here before but for some reason I was just really nervous. I couldn't stay in bed any longer I had to get up and do something.

The house was quiet, my ears flicked to the sound of soft breaths of my sister coming from her room. My tail swished anxiously behind me.

I'm always worried when any hybrids step into to this house, as I never know how they will react in a new environment. I always worry about my sister as sometimes they don't take to kindly to her, this is her safe space as well and my number one priority, I need to keep her safe.

I only read there profiles briefly and from what I read it was shocking, illegal fighting rings and pets who were abused and one therapy pet, which wasn't too bad I guess. Therapy hybrids are always treated the best, with most being aloud freedom to roam.

I can't imagine or relate what they have all been through as I've been lucky enough to raised my sister.

I started to cook breakfast as I didn't realise I was lost in my thoughts, really lost in my thoughts. I must have a lot on my mind lately.

I notice it was nearly time for my sister to get up. I know she usually wakes about 8/8:30am, as I was at stove making pancakes, it's one of her favourites. Sometimes she will go through a phase where she's not hungry at breakfast time, but I usually make something light for her.

A while later my ears twitched to the sound of her door opening, I heard the creak of the stairs as she made her way down to wards where I am in the kitchen, she is never a morning person. Poppy does suffer form nightmares now and again but hasn't done for awhile. When she does have them I stay with her in either my human or animal form, but it seems she seems to settle when I'm in my Snow Leopard form.

I heard a yawn and then a creak of a seat being sat in "Morning baby." I said as I finished the breakfast "Morning" Poppy whispered yawn to me.

I made my way to her and placed a plate of pancakes in front of her and I kissed her head as I went back to make my own breakfast.

"Sleep well?" She hummed in response "How about you oppa?" She asked me sleepily "I did baby, I slept okay. You know we have 6 hybrid coming here today." She nodded her head, she is wary when new hybrids come, as some don't like humans and tend to lash out. So I keep my sister away from those hybrids at the beginning if I can.

"Do you know what time they are arriving?" I had to look on my phone quickly to see when they were coming "The centre didn't really say, but I'm guessing they should be coming round about lunchtime sweetie." She just nodded and continued eating her breakfast.

After Poppy had done she told me she was going to get ready. Once she was gone I quickly read through an email I got on the six coming here, it did say~

'Wary of humans.

leopard hybrid might attack but has yet to show any signs of aggression yet.

Wolf is the main leader of the pack, Mated pack.'

So they are a pack and mated. "Poppy come here for a moment." I shouted from the kitchen to her bedroom. "Coming Oppa." I heard as my ears twitched in the direction of her voice.

"Are you still in the kitchen oppa?"

"Yes sweetie." I replied back to her, As she appeared in the kitchen again I ask her "Could you put some scent dampener or blockers on please?" She didn't put on a fight on this "Can I put the scent dampener on? If not I can be the blockers on?" I thought about this, if one of them is hostile that scent blockers would be better, but it says wary of humans. "Ware the scent dampers for now and we will see how we go."

I hate it when she has to put either on, Poppy has a weak heart and gets ill quickly, so for me her scent is very important.

Poppy POV-

Midday came and went and the new hybrid arrivals still hadn't arrived. It was almost 6 o'clock in the evening when the door bell went off.

Jin went to go and answer the door and he was talking to one of the carers from the sanctuary, I got off from the couch and stood in the hallway to greet them. Jin has told me nothing and he hasn't even told what hybrid type they are.

I could hear Jin talking to the shelters carer and that's when I saw one of them, he had striped ears. But I saw something around two of the hybrids mouth.

It was a muzzle, muzzles are used when they are biting or trying to attack, but they are only supposed to be used in extreme cases. I never in my whole life have seen a hybrid with a muzzle on, they must be really uncomfortable for them.

Jin was wrapping up with the hybrid caretaker, all of sudden I saw red ears in my face "Hi there!" He said with a smile "Erm Hello." I said back then thats when I heard a growl from come from one them.

Jin came around by that point and wrapped his arms around my shoulder and tail around my waist. "Hello everyone, my name is Jin and I will be taking care of you whilst you stay here." The one with the black ears spoke "Who's the human?" He said the word 'Human' with venom "This Human is my sister, she's here to help you as well. But if you don't want here to help just call my name and I will come to assist you." Jin never says my name to them straight away unless they ask me, we've had some pretty violent hybrids here. But Jin's always about so I know he won't leave me alone.

After a brief and I mean a very brief introduction, Jin lead them to there room where they will be staying. Jin was up there for a bit, when he did reappear in the kitchen where I was sitting. I saw he had two of the muzzle in his hands, but he place them down with a loud thud on the counter, which made me jump slightly. "Are they okay oppa?" I ask my brother, I wanted to make sure they were fine. "There fine cub..." he sighed out, I was sensing he was going to say something else. "Would you get the fist aid kit and meet me in the big room on right." I was a bit hesitant to go "Baby don't worry I will be there with you." I guess he could see it on my face as he placed a kiss on the top of my head.

"Jin what are you trying to do?" I asked him out of curiosity "What do mean Pops?" I through they didn't like humans "I don't think they like me?" He looked at me but I could see the wheels Turing in his head.

"I'm just trying to get them used to you being around as a first, the one with red ears seemed to like you." Well I guess I can see where he was coming from "But oppa I don't think they will warm up to me that quickly." I sighed "I just don't want whatever plan you have in mind to bite you in the arm." Jin chuckle at my choice of words "Well if thats what happens, that's what happens. But I would let them harm you, I will protect you. If I don't try and let them interact with humans, they will just be classed at feral and you know what that means." Yeah I did it was meaning that they would be put down, I hated that.

No one should ever go through that, ever. It's just wrong.

Author Note-

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this story. I hope you enjoyed it!

I was a bit hesitant about posting as I wasn’t sure if people would like this story, please be kind and respectful. Any pointers are much appreciated!

Stay safe, stay well!

I purple you! 💜

#bts #bts au #bts jimin #bts jin #bts jk #bts namjoon #bts ot7 #bts suga #bts v #kpop fanfic #bts fanfction #bts hoseok #bts x reader #bts jungkook #bts kim namjoon #bts kim seokjin #bts kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #park jimin #min yoongi #bts hybrid fanfic #hybrid #bts hybrid au #bts hybrid fic

[philosophicalconservatism]

Response To Post On Free Speech.

pun-ishment888

“Well, here's the thing. To have freedom, attempts at removing said freedom should be mitigated. Its like law. In the abscense of all restrictions, one could kill another. But we limit the freedom to kill others. We limit the freedom to enslave others. We limit the freedom to commit medical malpractice. And when it comes to speech, we also have limits. For example, libel and slander are speech. But we limit those, as those are harmful. Then there is stochastic terrorism, its not an act of terrorism itself, its just saying stuff in the hopes of someone gets the message, like "these people are coming after your kids, we need to get rid of them".

Philosophicalconservatism

Freedom has a very specialized meaning in Anglo (English/American) political philosophy. It is the liberty of an individual to operate without external impediment within his own proper sphere of action. He moves outside of that sphere of action only when he begins to directly violate the freedom of others (he invades their sphere). Consequently there is no such thing as a “freedom to kill” in this sense of the word “freedom”. The question we must always consider in determining whether any individual act is a legitimate exercise of freedom is whether it directly intrudes onto the liberty of others. Now there were certain instances of speech in English Common Law which were not protected by free speech principles. They are cases in which speech is used to do things rather than to merely signify things; things which are held to be violative of the rights of others. These include incitement, libel and slander. They do not include “stochastic terrorism”.

The idea of “stochastic terrorism” is an attempt to distort the classical concept of incitement in a manner that now allows for the exclusion of speech that has traditionally been permitted within a free system. If that were not the case, then this new phrase would be unnecessary; the word “incitement” alone would be sufficient. But opponents of free speech know that invoking the term “incitement “ strictly limits them to the legal precedents associated with that term, and they wish to step well beyond such precedents. Their solution is to develop a new concept, and one that directly undercuts the pure ideal of free speech.

Now the mark of this speech which does things instead of simply signifying things (speech that is truly violative) is that in principle its consequences are invariable and inescapable. In other words, they do not depend on any person's subjective state of mind. They are not violative as a consequence of an emotional response. Libel and Slander can objectively injure a man or women's reputation regardless of how he processes it emotionally. It is external harm. It effects everyone in the same manner. Similarly, the violence caused by incitement is not something which anyone can merely choose to ignore, it culminates in an unmistakable violation of individual rights . Yet as stated above, the legal principle of incitement has its own standard; it must be direct incitement. Incitement cannot be inferred. It is not, for example, incitement to simply call other people immoral or even “evil”; although I don’t personally think its particularly constructive to call people “evil “.

There are some obvious historical exceptions.

#free speech

[kidddoz]

Lotftober, day 4 - Ralph

I’m Gonna Win

Superstar since birth, the golden boy has always been an outstanding view in the eyes of every adult. As if his mere existence was a lighthouse in a world full of violence, Ralph's existence was determined to fulfil expectations, to give hope, and to serve adults in a way of pure and constant greatness without failure.

And so on, Ralph was the ace, the star, the best, the top. The excellence of a child, always polite, well-groomed and educated but as well as active and clever, as ideal as a dummy for fulfilling their parent's childish wishes that destiny took from them.

Born in such bellicosity also gave him a compulsion, almost like a destiny telling him to repeat the violence in which he was born. The conflict would always be inside that tiny, gold-like smiling child.

The perfectly star-shaped dream popped in seconds after arriving on the island. Not only did he find himself without any order, but he encountered the fear of not being the one he was supposed to be. Under the scorching spot the sun provided for all those boys, he was no longer the best, and the strings around his wrists disappeared. So now he was just a pointless dummy waiting for orders that would never arrive.

From then on, the lack of indications on each passing day felt like torture. Some days were worse than others, but at least being the Leader made him feel in control. It made him feel like the main character of a gloomy and sadistic story. But at least he felt as unique as ever, even if that meant being part of a story, he would end up dead or completely nutty after.

Looking back, he could hear something crack once that awful ginger declared him war. He was the one who ought to be on the spot and not Jack. But how come that boy embraced chaos in a way that made himself more of a leader than Ralph? How come he felt so much freedom and such little loneliness? How dare he steal his shiny crown?

He stared severely at his unrecognizable reflection and admitted his parents would be very disappointed in things he could not control. Or could he? Maybe if he tried harder. If he were willing to fight for the crown, he would be the Chief that not everybody needed but the one that everyone deserved. If Jack went low, then Ralph would go even lower. He was ready to fight to whatever extent possible. Ralph would not fight for the acceptance of the hunters; Ralph would fight for that shiny thing hanging off the Chief's head. He would win what he deserved. After all, it was something he was always used to.

______________

Gifted kid burnout? yeh, Ralph's one of those

This started as a drabble for, maybe, a bigger thing in the future bc to be honest, I really like to explore the idea of Ralph fighting back and being an even more violent chief than Jack.

#lotf #lord of the flies #lotf ralph #lotftober

[nahalism]

Hi! Do you sometimes catch yourself analyzing things too much, always getting really deep underneath and kind of ending up having too little room to actually be carefree and sort of experience life without the constant buzz of those thoughts, searches/analysis/seeking meanings/truths/lessons? Or do you find that’s it’s possible to + that you do best when you have both happening simultaneously? If the question doesn’t make sense let me know and I’ll rephrase it. Love& love

hey. i think i get what you mean but lmk if i didnt— i think im the type of person that ricochets between extremes in order to understand myself, the world, what balance means for me,,,, and then when i find the 'truth', or where that extreme has led me, i have a level of understanding about either me or the world that i can hone, either as an ideal to understand or one i can live up to/aspire to. — so there have been times where im in the kind of haze you described. over analysing, over thinking, isolating myself, getting deep into rabbit holes or theories about why what is what. but then i also swing to the other side of the pendulum and have times where im completely in my body, in my feelings, and in response to the world. im not over thinking, although im still hyper vigilant & it feels like im processing the world on drugs. its just in that moment, the need to understand, analyse and chew over the information on my own isnt there yet. something allows me to register everything in a more intuitive way? to where the 'buzz of thinking' still exists but its an energy i can ride rather than one thats stifling me or causing me to over question, over think, & ultimately doubt myself.

there are benefits and disadvantages to both ways of being. sometimes it feels good 'taking things lightly' and feeling unbound and i feel more social because of it. other times it feels good being alone so i can really process the world in the depth i want to without interruption or a need to discuss/debate what i feel. other times solitude and analysis feels overbearing, and the clarity feels stifling. theres all the concepts but they have nowhere to exist out of your head. their just a glass cage youve made for yourself & it can be lonely. that compared to the rush of action and freedom i feel in my 'non disciplined state' is horrible. buttt at my heart i am a serious person. i do like to consider and process and understand. so when i am in a more carefree space, i might have the freedom and the energy to express myself, but the energy is hard to harness or channel to anything thats not purely hedonistic or running off of the same impulsive energy as me. the key / balance here would be for me to channel the momentum of my energy in those moments toward goals/aims set when i am in the analytical, precise, clear space.

and so yeah the reason i explained it in such a drawn out way is that both the extremes help me understand and then actualise the middle ground thats right for me. unless a persons too uptight they may never have the reason / face the kind of discomfort that makes them understand the necessity of being happy go lucky. and if your never happy go lucky you may never understand the necessity of seriousness, or learn that there is a difference between being carefree, and being lackadaisical. vice versa. every experience especially the negative ones show and teach us things either about ourselves, what we need to keep doing, or change, to be where we want to be. deeper than that, sometimes your learning things, seeing things that you arent meant to understand now. they go in your rolodex/subconscious and pop out to save your life/tip you off to something when you least expect it.

dont let anxiety, over analysis, or anything rob you of your life, but trust your brain, trust body and trust your heart to be true mirrors for you. know that they are showing you and telling you things about your reality & that nothing shown is ever wasted. trust in ur journey bb. 🌟

feel free to dm me if u wanna chat. big love to u <33

#ask

[parasite-core]

I have been given the go ahead to info dump about my OCs by @the-ethereal-god so now it’s story time with Sky, featuring those weirdos who live in my brain.

So since they’re all Pathfinder characters they’re all heroes. Technically. Some more than others. Some a lot more than others.

On a sliding scale of ‘goodness’

At the top is Umbrolus, he is a pure cinnamon roll. Too good for this world. Ignore the fact that he’d beat a man to death with their own severed limbs if they so much as considered hurting his SO or his friends. He has a teeny tiny huge temper. It’s fine we all have flaws. But other than that he’s just a big puppy.

After Umber is probably Kiyo. They have been the local doctor for the poor district of Korvosa for about 50 years, and they’ve lived in the city for over a century. They care about the city and its people and want to protect them and see them become something better than the crime filled hovel it currently is. As such, they’ve recently taken up the mantle of the vigilante Blackjack from the previous wielder, to help protect the people and give them hope. So they use their talents to protect the city they love in two forms: as a doctor caring for the sick and injured who cannot afford care elsewhere, and as a vigilante protecting the powerless and the innocent.

I think next is probably Draven. She has a bit of a hero complex. Just a little. Just ‘throw myself in front of enemy attacks and use my body as a shield to protect the innocents or my friends, with no regard for my own health and safety’ levels of self destructive hero complex. She is basically indestructible though so she can get away with it. Literally. It took a demi-god level powerful Demon Lord and three balors multiple rounds focusing all their attacks on trying to kill her to take her down, and it was her only death the entire campaign (it was the final battle). She did one thing and that was tank and she did it well.

I think next would be Roland. He was not a good person in his past, but he’s long since moved beyond that. He’s generally a good person, the quintessential stressed healer wrangling a chaotic party. He believes strongly in the ideal of redemption and that most people have the ability to become better versions of themselves, they just have to be willing to choose to put in the work to become that better self. If someone is remorseful of their actions and shows the desire to change Roland will fight for them and do everything in his power to help them see their new path through. He feels sympathy especially for those who were turned undead unwillingly and have to fight against an innate evil nature—given that he is himself an undead known as a Graveheart—and he respects those who choose to try to do good. He has helped to set up a place within the Valoria faith for these undead who want to turn towards the light.

Next would be Ileark. He’s generally a good person and does his best to always act in peoples’ best interests. He is a follower of Desna and is a strong believer in freedom, not feeling comfortable with most governing bodies or other rigid social constructs that restrict peoples’ personal freedoms. He is deeply against slavery, and slavers are one of the few things that make him truly seethingly angry. He is widely travelled and has seen every corner of the continent Avistan, and some parts of the neighboring continents. His breadth of experience makes him very personable with people from all walks of life. Ileark has healer envy for the party’s paladin, who is better at healing than him (he is a cleric with a prestige class who lost a lot of his healing abilities due to the prestige class), and he is self conscious and feels like he is a bad person because he is better at doing harm than that healing. The only character death the party has had was caused by Ileark, as he accidentally killed the party psychic—who is basically Ileark’s surrogate brother—because he’d had an infection that required using negative energy to knock him out to cure, and Ileark’s negative energy spell ended up being too powerful and flat out killed him. So he has a lot of guilt over that. Oh and also his birth mother is the goddess of night hags (and said psychic’s former goddess before he told her to fuck off and threw his unholy symbol into the ocean), and she wants Ileark to give in to her power and come to the dark side to become a night hag like her.

Next up is Lucien. He is also a Desna worshipper, but he’s less concerned with freedom and travel and more concerned with luck. He’s a gambler and an adrenaline junkie and he bases much of his philosophy off the idea that any test of luck is showing faith in Desna. Lucien doesn’t necessarily avoid doing the right thing or actively do harm (usually), but he doesn’t necessarily go out of his way to do good deeds like a lot of the people above either. He mostly just goes with the flow, lets a coin flip determine his fate, helps if there’s someone right in front of him obviously needing help, but can also oblivious to people needing his help if it isn’t directly asked of him. He isn’t always a particularly smart man, he mostly acts on his own whims with very little forethought—in fact he actively avoids thinking as much as possible because self reflection just makes him depressed and he doesn’t want to feel those things, he wants to ignore them and pretend everything is alright.

Sai is…where things start getting morally grey. Sai believes she is doing good. Her goal is to punish bad people and to protect good people. But she is very black and white in her thinking about ‘bad people’ and ‘good people’, and her methods of punishment for ‘bad people’ can range from what you’d expect from a regular adventurer to exceptionally cruel things. For example she turned a gargoyle into an insect permanently with his mind still intact and then released him into the wild to live out what he could of his inevitably short and terrified life after he killed one of the other members of the party—despite the fact that said party member came back to life afterwards.

Kaius will do anything to protect his family. And that’s a sweet nice thing that you’d expect from a hero right? Except no—he will do *anything* to protect his family. If aiding a villain is what it takes to protect his wife and daughter, he’d do it without hesitation and feel no guilt over it or any repercussions from it so long as it didn’t harm said family. He was a hair’s breath away from betraying his party when the group’s cleric turned out to be a cultist and she told him to join her and shoot one of the others. If she hadn’t shown her hand and revealed how her plans were going to affect his daughter, he would have done it, because she was the one member of the party he’d actually opened up to. As it was, he ended up fighting for the heroes side—but only because that’s what benefitted his wife and daughter the most, and because he felt betrayed by Gabby, not because it was the right thing to do, or because he had any moral objections to a cult subjugating everyone in the world and killing every deity but their own. Although he would have some objections to *himself* being subjugated so he’d probably fight against them on that alone.

Calio is my most morally bad character. He is, at his core, selfish. He doesn’t do anything for altruistic reasons, ever. There’s always an angle. However that being said, he is better than he used to be. His selfishness extends to the people close to him now—so if there’s something one of the other party members wants, he’ll want that for them as well. Unless their wants directly contradict one of his wants, in which case his wants still take precedent. Calio has been getting better ever since he met Greta. Before her, he wasn’t close to anyone and he didn’t take anyone’s thoughts or feelings into consideration ever. Since meeting her, he’s mellowed out a little and had began actively considering the people he cares about. However this consideration does not extend past the bubble of people he cares about—everyone else can go die in a hole for all he cares. He talked a man out of committing suicide recently—and if the other members of the party hadn’t been there he wouldn’t have bothered and would have just let the man die. Because he only did it because the others were the ones who would care if the man died. So, to reiterate, Calio might do good things sometimes, but he is not a good person.

#my ocs #Roland Terrasold #Kiyo Alvara #Sai Gwenn #Lucien Anasia #Kaius River #Draven Imani #Umbrolus Arcantix #Ileark Keita #calio caecos

[the-nysh]

Garou is the ying, the good within "absolute evil" and Saitama is the yang, the darkness hiding in his heroism

Where the current 'light' of Garou's humanity is being forcibly warped and swallowed up by the darkness of an absolute evil, external cosmic entity, while the lingering faith and light of Saitama's heroism is at risk of being swallowed by the darkness of his own inner, unresolved personal demons too.

The theme of light/dark (yin & yang) balance encompassing the imperfectness of human nature is a classic one - and it's why I really liked the design of Spiral Garou, cause it symbolically felt like a balanced swirl of those two forces that's beyond the simple dichotomy/binary of 'good & evil.'

Now however, as things were set up, Garou's inherent light/goodness was otherwise too pure (in Psykos' words) that he had to be forcibly inserted and corrupted by an absolute evil that's Not His, to morally push him over the edge (to the extremes way past over 11) that he couldn't possibly, and never willingly wanted to, cross on his own. Where now he doesn't even have a choice, is misled to believe how much 'freedom' he still has, and doesn't even know how much of his usual 'evil' performance is being played/enacted for real. D:

Rather than balancing or overcoming his own personal darkness/demons/emotions from within, into a fully-realized whole where he's ideally at peace and acceptance with himself (like Mob's ???%), it's become more a case of the opposite - of Garou coming to find/accept the inner light he couldn't believe within himself. (That had always been one of his biggest/defining strengths all along~) Buried underneath all the external/outer layers of darkness. Where it's now, how can his true self even be saved/salvaged or endure to break free from the oppressive hand of an absolute higher, darkest power. D: (Where damn, the lingering/trapped/dormant power of Garou's original humanity is up to survive against, or be crushed under, the might of two 'gods' - the control of opm's evil monster god and the wrath of Saitama himself. Holy shiiieetttttt ;o; Now those bastardized unfair odds seem far too inhumanly possible to survive against, BUT if the real Garou can Still endure and find himself despite all that...then that'd show an incredible amount of strength previously unforeseen before.) Edit (as of ch168): opm’s evil god confiscated him and the Garou of this timeline had to die, but not before his awakened self (trigger: Tareo’s death) resolved to defy him and heroically sacrifice himself to fix the world~

MEANWHILE, in Saitama's case, the 'status quo' it seems many fanboys are struggling against seeing it broken was believing how much of his outer light, goodness, and heroic values were seen 'absolute' as a perfect, iconic representation of a hero. When that's absolutely not the case; Saitama's always been an imperfect (aka not the greatest) hero and a fallible human. Who casually performs as a hobby, makes careless mistakes, has darker self-absorbed (asshole) thoughts/actions sometimes too, and has passionate bursts of emotion that are stronger than his usual limits of self-control, which break even his own understanding of how much he believes he can still feel too. Which is what we're seeing now. The scary thing is just...when he's hurt and snaps to the point he loses faith in himself (in his light/heroism), that his inner darkness threatens to break his established goodness and the world itself - it's just aaaa, what can possibly stop him when he naturally holds the godlike power to destroy Everything. If he ever loses that last grip on himself and his humanity. :') (When it's likely not his own values keeping him tethered anymore - it's the symbolic grip and lingering connection he has to Genos' core. ;o;)

So if we simplify their parallel but opposite struggles into their base essentials, then yes, Garou's is currently how to find/salvage his inner light from being swallowed/crushed by an external absolute darkness, and Saitama's is the scary possibility of his inner darkness threatening to completely break his outer, established goodness (and destroy everything else). D: Where it's basically become two forces of godlike 'darkness' threatening to destroy Garou's lingering light. Amazing if his humanity and inner goodness can still pull thru this. Unless he can still break free from the control of god's darkness, Saitama's darkness/wrath is tempered, or Saitama's own good heroic values still hold firm - without giving in to the void what that evil god probably wants him to do, by breaking the humanity of them both. In a clash or stalemate of cosmic forces like THAT, it's unknown which element will be stopped first from spiraling out of control, or even how both characters' (human/heroic) light will prevail or stabilize. But if either one is snuffed out for good, then destroying that overall balance will be not good indeed.

#opm #garou #saitama #manga spoilers #anonymous #replies #meta #garou's inner light is stronger than many fans (and even himself) believe #while saitama is far more imperfect and human than many fans (and even himself) believe too #(now if only they can find mutual balance/understanding by being bros instead of destroying each other aha yea)

[rabbotred]

The worse thing about Ken Penders after learning his attempt of killing off Sally in Archie is that he spends issue after issue butchering her character. He would use his male ocs: his version of King Acorn, Elias (long lost brother), and Geoffry Skunk talk over her, control and boss her around. When Sally tries to reason or object, they all belittle her or tell her that she is in the wrong. And because they are 'higher authority' (and male), she had to obey even though they are proven wrong.

Yeah, exactly. The early years of Archie did our girl dirty. Either they made her extremely bitchy or a wet dish rag. Kinda missed the whole point of her character, being someone who was once comfy in the status quo, shoved out into the wilderness after a fascist coup, and now has to make her own way in the world as a part of a group of rebels against Robotnik's regime. Maybe if her position as a rebellious revolutionary was hardened after bein kicked down by authority figures of the status quo she helped restore and once thought was ideal, maybe that could have been interesting. It woulda been neat if they actually utilized her sense of justice and doing what's right even if it's inconvenient and difficult to do instead of makin her lick daddy's boots.

And the morality of Kenders' writing is bizarre. Like, authoritarian assholes are bad if they're associated with Robotnik, and that's understandable and correct as SATAM/Archie Robotnik is a blatant fascist as intended, but then if these losers are aligned with King Acorn's status quo they're magically good and ok and actually somehow better than the Freedom Fighters were...?

Like, damn, imagine if King Acorn's loyalists and the Freedom Fighters aligned with a disillusioned revolutionary Sally ended up butting heads as enemies who just so happened to have a common enemy in Robotnik. That shit woulda been interesting. But who knows, maybe the later stuff in Archie got to touch on a lil bit of that? I doubt there's anything in there that's exactly like that, it's written for 12-year-olds by American liberals in the 90's and 2000's, after all. Ain't gonna be nothin in there that's revolutionary even if everything's there for it. All it takes is Sally and the others realizing they don't need the crown back to set things right, that the world needs to move on to better things, and that they already built a good start for that in Knothole. Heck, that goes with the themes of Sonic himself - freedom, defending others, helping each other, not caring about authority, and moving forward. They don't need some hoity-toity authority figure holdin em down just because of pure nostalgia. A healthy amount of nostalgia is fine, remembering the good times is nice but you gotta remember that they can come back again but on your own terms, remembering that the good times had some bad times in there too, n there was stuff goin on back then that didn't make sense.

But anyway, enough rambling on all that shit. I'm an old reader from the 90's n I haven't touched the comics since I was a young'un up until I decided to start re-readin the archive.org archive of the series, so I ain't too familiar with post-Kenders Archie. But re-reading this old stuff as an adult, I remember why the comics were so confusing and weird. There's a lot in it that I still find very enjoyable and even some stuff that I think still holds up, but goddamn... I always say, you can usually tell when a story will be good if it's written by Karl Bollers, and bad if its written by Ken Penders.

#ask

[lv-bites]

Tbh Spinbot isn't as fun to write as Tough because Spinbot is less rounded by design. He's made to be a very one note sort of character, because Eggman programmed him to be that way. He can't grow without severe detriment to his programming, and he's always very cocky but loyal to Eggman. He gets dull very quickly, but would accel in a video game or fic antagonist role.

Tough, meanwhile, is MUCH more fun to write because he's so much more complex. He hasn't been brainwashed, but he is heavily traumatized. He did what he had to to survive but became dependent on that reality, that method of survival, and so he keeps recreating it to make more people "stronger"... in reality, this is how he connects with people better. People who haven't been through what he has been through can't be considered real people to him. They're just puppets, or boring and faceless husks... at least to him.

(The rest is under the cut, as this post functions as both backstory, character discussion, comparison and some drabble elements. warnings for: abuse, death, blood, trauma)

You could have been through some pretty awful situations, and Tough wouldn't care because he believes what happened to him will always be worse. However, he's interested in people who have survived through physical and mental trauma, and wants to see if they can be moulded into something more.

Originally, a character like Shadow wouldn't have interested him. Shadow was born strong, he is capable, and he was able to put his past behind him. He's not pathetic, he's not weak. He's never been discarded... Tough would have rolled his eyes at anything Shadow would have to say about Tough's ideals and methods as pure drivel... but Maria? Now that's an interesting specimen.

In an AU where Tough has more nieces than just Carey, Tough ends up adopting @achancetobehappy into his gang. We haven't really sorted out how they meet yet, but Tough's interest in her comes from the fact that she's also an ultimate life form, but she's also sick. She has lived through the trauma of her and Shadow's past, she's just as capable as he is, and yet... he is so afraid of losing her again that Shadow may be overprotective. Tough capitalizes on that; his interest in her as a powerful weapon, someone he can use to take out the factory that had ruined his life, but also... someone who is practically screaming for recognition of her talents and abilities, at least from Tough's perspective.

Spinbot would be boring here because his characterization begins and ends with Loyalty to Eggman, Death to Freedom. He's full of taunts but not much else which is boring in a thread. I do love him, he's fun to draw, but that 1 note personality that was programmed into him on purpose gets very irritating to write.

Tough doesn't have that problem. He's able to meet different situations with different approaches. He can be the whimsical loudspeaker snake who screams about illegal wet baby fights, he can blow up a building to the tune of Flight of the Valkyries, meticulously setting each explosive to go off in rhythm to each note... He can be threatening and ominous when desired, towering over his prey like a beast about to strike... And he can be soft, holding out his scarred palms and sharp talons, so gently, as to not pinch or frighten the hand he holds in his.

His voice can lower, to one of gentle understanding. Compassion... Empathy. He understands them, he knows what they've been through... but his understanding comes from a very veiled and biased viewpoint. Tough projects onto the people he is interested in. It's how he sees that they might understand him, that they can be saved. Moulded. Reborn... as he was.

And it's fun because Tough both believes his own views, very strongly, AND he fully intends to manipulate his persons of interest to his side. It doesn't have to be either/or. It's both.

A thing with Tough is, and this was mirrored in Arcane and it's why I pogged so hard when I watched it, he becomes attached to the people he manipulates if they stay with him long enough. He starts to care about them so, so much. So much more than he thought he could ever care... he figures he lost this ability to care about others a long time ago. And yet... he's met people who make him feel alive again.

His main adopted niece, @cutpursecavalier Carey Jess, saved his life with nothing but her consistency, her presence, and her warmth. Beyond the terrible grasp of grammar and her extremely crude and crass humour, there was a young woman who got Tough. A rare occasion where Tough felt like she was like him without having to go through his trials first. Without having come from the Wasteland Zone or the Underwaste. At first he considered her someone to just mess with, to serve her uses as a spunky powerhouse, and not give a damn if she died.

Now? He'd sooner slaughter every gang in Empire City than suffer her death. When he found her in that motel, beaten within an inch of her life, he felt a terror grip his heart. A heart he assumed had died with Radiance. That terror, mixed with love and rage... He cradled her bloodied body, venom leaking from his fangs as hatred boiled in his veins. He had every intent to pay back what was done to his beloved niece.

And this had never happened before... at least... not since he lost Specter. Specter was a teenager who had been a survivor of the Underwaste, who Tough had rescued from some shitty madmen who intended to sell him as a slave. Specter had been given a chance at life again, Tough being his purpose... and he broke free, killing his old masters and joining Tough's first interation of the Surprisingly Severe. Specter was only a little younger than Tough at the time... 14 to Tough's 18. Tough saw him as a little brother, in a way. Specter was named that by Tough, telling him that when he bathed in the blood of his Masters, he drowned his former self. Specter could blend in with his surroundings, changing the colour of his scales to match and effectively become a ghost... Tough felt a connection. His gang would slowly grow, until one day he'd return from foraging for mushrooms in deeper parts of the cavern, to find the camp had been attacked. The invaders had all been slaughtered, with few casualties on The Severe's side... except one of those casualties was Specter. He lay in a pool of his green blood, which seemed to glow in the darkness. He was struggling to breathe, despite the massive stab wounds his smaller body had sustained. Tough immediately gathered Specter into his arms, no no no no, not you. Not you. You were the first. You can't... He'd cradle Specter's small body in his arms, nuzzling against him, pleading for him to hold on...

But Specter wouldn't answer. He was dead, held in his big brother's arms.

This was Tough's first real loss in the Severe. There were members that were no more than thugs or henchmen, really... and then there were members Tough held such high regard for, personally overseeing their growth... Specter would be one of them... and Specter died.

Tough would feel this same pain burn him inside as he held Carey's body, though this was years later... Tough was 42 now. So long since Specter... Not this time. He wouldn't lose another one. He'd aid in a raid to rescue Carey's old friend... not for him, but for her. His gang was surprised to be doing something so... altruistic? But the novelty made it exciting all the same.

Tough doesn't like to get attached, and yet, he's so lovable. So charismatic...So strange. His unique way of doing things mixed with his sense of "helping" others while being a Raider makes him a peculiar character for sure. A real Catcher in the Rye or Peter Pan type. Though rather than focusing on protecting the innocence of children, Tough seeks out those who have been cast aside, discarded, left to die and he asks them if they would rather survive.

It's easy to say that Tough is a terrible person. He's done so many horrible things, many I won't list in this post... feeling sympathy for him may feel like you're doing something wrong. But I think the labeling of "good person" and "bad person" is not only an oversimplification, but it's also incorrect.

Tough is a person who has done terrible things, rather than a terrible person. There is a distinction.

Spinbot is a terrible person, because he was born that way. He was made to be that way. He didn't get there from surviving the most horrific situations, he was literally programmed to be like this. Sonic may be his brain scan, but everything that made him Sonic was inhibited so Spinbot could serve Eggman. There's no backstory, there's no growth. Spinbot was made from Sonic's brain, but holds no connection or endearment to that history, those bonds. They're more like something he inherited than things he crafted himself, and again, that's because Eggman made him that way. You can still feel sorry for Spinbot, but writing him is much less interesting in comparison because he's so one note.

Tough wasn't born terrible. He was born Theodore "Teddy" Bare, child of [REDACTED] the Rattlesnake and [REDACTED] the Cobra. He was born into an underground nation, comprised by multiple mining colonies. Enough people to take up a few major cities! When he would turn 13, his father promised not only to take him with him to the surface to sell gemstones, but also to take him to his first above ground carnival... And! He'd teach him how to operate the heavy mining machinery. Teddy was so excited, so eager.

And then, on his birthday, as he prepared to make a wish over his pastry packs... a loud rumbling, cracking, quaking... an enormous waste pipe burst through the ceiling of the underground nation, on its exterior bore a grinning mustachiod logo ... and neon pink toxic waste began to pour into the underground, flooding the streets, the tunnels, the caverns, killing, drowning, suffocating, mutating and driving its citizens to madness.

...

...

...

    "Happy 13th Birthday, Teddy. You're a man today! Well... maybe you're sstill a little kid?"

    "I'm NOT a LITTLE kid!! I can HANDLE SSO much more THAN I COULD yesssterday!!! My MUSCLESS are BULGING OUT!!!"

    "Hahaha! WOAH, WOAH, don't punch your old man, I'm frail, nothing compared to you! You ready to help me today, Theodore?"

    "OF COURSSSE! I'll become SSO good at thissss THAT I'LL be able to teach OTHERSSS!"

    "Oh yeah? You have the patiensssce to be a teacher, Teddy? Threaten your ssstudentsss with your punchy tough love?"

    "NYA HA HA! Only if THEY DON'T lissssten!!! Can I have my passstry PACK BEFORE dinner, dad??? IT'Ssss my birthday, tradition dictatessss my wish WILL COME TRUE if I make it over sssomething SSSWEET!"

    "Tradition dictatess, eh? Sure. I'll get your mother, let'ss get you that wish."

#ooc ;; #about tough ;; #nieces... #sticky fingers (cutpursecavalier) #martyr (achancetobehappy) #tough and his nieces #backstory ;; #long post ;; #I'm not saying it's impossible to flesh Spinbot out. it's just not fun for me without his own story

[amarinsstuff]

some scattered thoughts ( read at your own risk ) 26 AUG 2022

freedom of thought is an illusion. in this world, every thought, every idea, and reason we have is influenced by our surroundings. every want, need, and get is influenced by our environment. we have no pure thoughts. it is impossible to have them. we depend on the world too much for our tiny minds to comprehend. we do not know reality. subliminal messaging. That's what everything is. we are manipulated from our beginning by the different elements of our surroundings, no matter how insignificant they might seem. you are not original. you are just a slightly altered copy of 8 billion people that live on earth at the moment and the 117 humans who existed in the past 200,000 years of earth. your birth, life, and death are insignificant. your emotions and all that's precious to you is a series of chemical equations. just some atoms moving around. but rambling on and on in this manner is of no use. there is nothing that can be done about it. humans seek positive emotions. it makes us feel "good". so, the only point of our life MUST be to seek positive emotions. do what makes you happy. you do not need to worry about your surroundings. you don't need to worry about others, in the short time you spend on this planet, all you need to do is what makes YOU happy. in an ideal society, all are happy like this. but all cannot be happy. our means of acquiring happiness are conflicting. this is what causes chaos. this is what brings negative emotions. this is what makes us feel "bad". so, the world cannot be changed. there will never be equality for humans. survival of the fittest will and always has been the only unbreakable law in the human world

#life rant #vent #personal rant #im tired #rants n rambles #philosophy #existentialism #existence #meaning of life

[bestrongbebrave49]

My favourite thing about Hawks (MHA) x Helena (Orphan Black) as a ship is that there is enough similarities to make them understand and relate to one another, enough shared qualities to get along, and yet the differences help them grow alongside each other.

Spoilers for both shows & the manga ahead!

Helena provides Hawks with a different perspective and vice versa. There is a vulnerability deep within both of them that is well hidden though better hidden with Hawks than Helena. Her desire for a place to belong, for safety, kindness and understanding is rooted in the lack of love she never received and a yearning to be appreciated and accepted. ‘I am the light’ is a lie she’s been told and yet it’s true. Beneath the violence is a helpless, feral little girl, a broken compassionate woman, who just wants to do and be good. There is a light in her, the same as in Hawks. A desire within them both buried somewhere fundamental to be useful and (as aforementioned) good, helpful, a hero.

In Hawks it is much more prominent and overt, in Helena it is more subtle; you only see it if you touch her life in some way, if you cross paths in the right circumstances, if you remind her of herself like a ripple or echo both long forgotten and ever-present. It differs from Hawks’ flashy shows of heroism and quiet determination to be the only one with bloodied hands and a tarnished soul, but it still exists nevertheless. Her ability to extend a kind hand in the form of absolute mercy or sheer brutality. Her mentality of; ‘I will kill to keep you safe, I will fight for your freedom because I know what it means to be caged. I will protect those who cannot defend themselves because once I was defenceless and the scars stay with you. I was moulded into a monster but now I choose my own path.’

She cannot outrun her past or what she has been forced to become but she can chose to use the tools given to her to create a better world; a mindset that both Tomas and Maggie originally twisted during their indoctrination process whilst instilling in her a desire to kill off the ‘copies’ (only in the AU I have in mind the clones do not exist as clones but as people not born out of experiments, for the most part). I believe she always had a desire to help, it just got tangled up in their murderous, religious extremism. Likewise, Hawks’ ideals were also twisted and warped into what the commission wanted them to be. Both lost their innocence and their spark in the name of controlled ‘heroism’. Unlike Helena, Hawks kills purely out of duty and as a last resort. He’ll hold back and hold off if other options present themselves, but he won’t forsake a mission that could cost the lives of thousands for the sake of his own sentimentality; such is his moral compass. (Even if it was twisted by the commission to suit their means despite his near constant disobedience) he’ll run on fumes and willpower alone if he has to, to get the job done, see it through and utilise his mission or his goal, but he won’t endanger the lives of innocents along the way if he can help it, and more often than not he can because he refuses not to.

In contrast, there is a vital part of Helena, maybe due to her strict, abusive upbringing in the convent, maybe because of the helplessness she experiences repeatedly in her life, particularly her youth, or perhaps because the practice of killing is forbidden and taboo and therefore exciting (I reckon it’s a case of all three) which craves the violence, basks in the blood of her enemies and the glory of death. It’s a task complete, a job well done when her target is no longer standing. It will get her recognition, appreciation, fondness and kindness from the only ‘family’ she’s ever known, a sense of peace in the knowledge that the world is ‘safer’ and that God is ‘proud’ of her due to the actions of taking a life.

And yet, I believe that with each life she takes there is a piece of her missing, bit by bit, little by little. Because she did not choose this life, a child has no comprehension of killing and whilst it is second nature to her, it is a duty based on illusion. An act forcibly complied with at times to garner safety as much as devotion. It is all she has and all she knows how to be because no one ever taught her any different, and yet it is not all she is. Despite her comfort with gore and brutality, the softer sides of Helena coupled with the fact she never mindlessly kills nor targets anyone outside of a threat to her own personal safety, her family’s or those most vulnerable in society tells me she picks the knife up less when she has control over whether to pick it up at all.

This comfortability with death and torture provides a key difference to Hawks’ stricter moral code and yet the kindness embedded within her compels him to see her as human, capable of change and deserving of a better life. As with Twice and Endeavour. He views her merely as a product of her circumstances. Which is interesting given that he too, is also a product of his. If you were to ask Helena if she were a victim of circumstance she would say yes, to a degree. Ask Hawks if he was and he’ll probably disagree. Does he hate the commissions control over his life and the degree they’ll go to maintain that control not just in regards to him but society as a whole? Yes. Does he view himself as a victim? Not necessarily. In his mind he was saved. And so others too can be saved, all he has to do is show them a different path, offer a helping hand, give them a chance, and if they don’t take it there’s nothing more he can do, but should they choose to accept then they are indeed deserving of a better life and a place within society (after paying their dues for their crimes).

Inside the Winged Hero is that same little boy who just wanted to be a shining light; a dream that the Commission stamped out as best they could, and inside Helena is a little girl desperately believing people will love and want her if she is useful, and clinging to the belief that maybe, hopefully, possibly, she can be good.

So, on paper, Helena would take up Hawks’ offer in a heartbeat, except she has learnt to be mistrustful. She would have (and has in my AU for multiple reasons) about as much faith in Hawks and hero’s as she would / does for the police force, and Arthur had to earn her trust. His job wasn’t in the spotlight as much as Hawks and he didn’t have to uphold a façade personality wise. So given the many layers of Hawks and the innate unwillingness to take people at face value lest they strike her first, Helena would view him as an enemy. Maybe she’d warm to him a little or a lot more if experience had not taught her to be wary even of those who offer you food should it be a poisoned. Maybe my AU is just super angsty and without the added tragedies I gave her, she’d be more willing to believe the best in him. But whilst Hawks’ desire for freedom is true and would strike a chord in her, his overt, goofy, over-confident and flashy (first layer) personality combined with the ‘knowledge’ that he a hero - who people rely on to save and who the younger population especially has such faith in - is really working with those that civilians fear most would leave a bad taste in her mouth at best and make her want to gorge his eyes out at worst (if he were lucky).

If Helena hid her kinder aspects, Hawks would only see a criminal that needed stopping and locking away. His methods are more logic based than her emotional ones, albeit both are emotionally driven and have been raised to complete a task as efficiently as possible without emotion getting in the way. The approaches used though different, are one and the same in terms of instilling the necessary beliefs into the easily manipulated minds of children to become the weapons they were meant to be. Helena has been raised with a more severe iron rod and had her animalistic instincts utilised in ways that Hawks’ clinical, contained, ruthless and rigours training differs from, but they are two sides of the same coin and I love them for it.

Helena would save Hawks from his cage in a heartbeat if she knew the extent of his life and past, as Hawks would save her from hers. The layers of distrust, respect, resentment, pity, understanding, forgiveness and unity these two would have would be outstanding. Their complexity makes me want to squeal with excitement because there is so very much to explore, and that’s before you even get into the involvement of quirks. Helena’s would be cannibalistic in nature and I know just how to utilise it. So yeah, it’s late, 1:26am to be exact. But I needed to ramble nonsensically a little (I could write essays about these two) because there is so much to discuss and explore and I love them so very dearly.

The problem becomes can I write them well enough? Would they really work or have I just convinced myself of something that in actuality doesn’t make sense? Can I do them both justice? Are their characterisations off? Will anyone else actually care about this ship or am I doomed to watch it set sail alone? (I’m writing this baby even if it’s just me that reads it. The amount of AUs and oneshots I have planned for this ship alone is ridiculous). Soaring Crimson is my favourite thing on earth currently, I will fight anyone who says crossovers are not a valid ship because even if it doesn’t work out or will never in any way, shape or form be canon it’s fun and that’s what ships are supposed to be; fun, adventurous ways we can honour and explore our favourite characters.

#my hero academia #fanfic #helena orphan black #fanfic writers #bnha #orphan black #bnha hawks #wing hero hawks #my otp #loveit #soaringcrimson #crossover ship #rarepair #writing #mini rant #appreciation post

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JBL Wireless Headphones Review : Freedom and Quality Sound

An Honest Review of the JBL Endurance Peak 3 True Wireless Headphones

Price:$79.95 (-20% off) 

 Unmatched Freedom and Quality Sound

Introduction

An honest review on JBL wireless headphones:

As an avid music lover and fitness enthusiast, finding the perfect pair of headphones has always been a challenge. Recently, I decided to give the JBL Endurance Peak 3 True Wireless Headphones a try, and I must say, I’ve been thoroughly impressed. here is my honest review on JBL Wireless Headphones.

First and foremost, let’s talk about the design. The Endurance Peak 3 headphones come in a sleek black color with a small, compact size that fits snugly in my ears. They’re lightweight and comfortable, making them ideal for long workouts or extended listening sessions. Plus, the secure ear hook design ensures they stay in place, even during the most intense workouts.

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About this item

JBL Pure Bass Sound: Get the most out of your favorite workout playlist with rich bass from a 10mm dynamic driver that delivers bold sound when you need it most.

Up to 50 total hours of playback with speed charge: Whether you measure your energy output in miles, pounds, or minutes, the JBL Endurance Peak 3 can match you beat for beat, with up to10 hours of battery power in the earbuds and 40 in the case. And when you need a boost, speed charge up to an hour of playtime in just 10 minutes.

IP68 dust and water proof: An IP68 rating means the JBL Endurance Peak 3 earbuds are ready for your most active adventures, rain or shine. And they’ll endure for 30 minutes at depths up to 1.5 meters of salt or fresh water. So you can surf with your earbuds, or rinse them after a workout, all without missing a beat.

Ambient Aware & Talk Thru: Whether you’re out for a run or in the zone at the gym, TalkThru makes it easy to make and hear calls anywhere. And with Ambient Aware, you can stay alert to your surroundings without removing your headphones.

4-Mic Crisp, Clear Calls: Even on a windy bike trail, your voice will be heard thanks to dual beamforming mics in each ear help to ensure clear communication.

Review on JBL Wireless Headphones sound quality

But the real standout feature of these JBL Wireless headphones is the sound quality. Powered by JBL’s signature Pure Bass Sound, the Endurance Peak 3 delivers deep, punchy bass and crisp highs that bring your music to life. Whether I’m listening to my favorite playlist at the gym or catching up on podcasts during a run, the audio quality is consistently excellent.

Another feature that sets the Endurance Peak 3 apart is its impressive battery life. With up to 30 hours of total playback time (6 hours from the earbuds and an additional 24 hours from the charging case), I never have to worry about running out of juice, even on the busiest days.

JBL Wireless Headphones are waterproof and sweatproof

Furthermore, these headphones are built to withstand the rigors of an active lifestyle. They’re sweatproof and waterproof, true wireless, active ear buds, so I can push myself to the limit without having to worry about damage. Plus, the touch controls on the earbuds make it easy to adjust the volume, skip tracks, or answer calls without breaking my stride.

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In terms of connectivity, the Endurance Peak 3 utilizes Bluetooth 5.0 for a stable and reliable connection. I’ve never experienced any dropouts or connectivity issues, even when my phone is several feet away.

The Endurance Peak 3 is the perfect training partner, with up to 50 hours of playback and rich JBL Pure Bass Sound. The durable IP68 dust and water proof design can handle the dustiest mountain trail and the sweatiest gym session, while a bendable Twist Lock ear hook enhancer ensures a secure, comfortable fit that stays in no matter how you move your body.

Ambient Aware & Talk Thru

Whether you’re out for a run or in the zone at the gym, Talk Thru makes it easy to make and hear calls anywhere. And with Ambient Aware, you can stay alert to your surroundings without removing your headphones.

Conclusion

Overall, I recommend the JBL Endurance Peak 3 True Wireless Headphones . With their comfortable design, exceptional sound quality, long battery life, and durability, they’re the perfect companion for anyone looking to elevate their music and fitness experience. Whether you’re hitting the gym or just enjoying your favorite tunes on the go, these headphones have you covered.

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