#fr i was so disappointed when they didn’t get a whole love story | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

murphallo · 1 year

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Hi, I totally understand your disappointment in how chenford got together. I too thought it was going to take something dramatic for them to finally be together, something like DOD.

Lucy spent 5 seasons not dating cops because of Bishop's advice about her reputation and career. I thought that would play a big part on her hesitation to start a relationship with Tim. But it wasn't even mentioned lol.

And Tim always seemed super aware of the fact that he was Lucy's superior at work, he even listed that as an obstacle in his conversation with Lopez. But then he and Lucy got together and Tim seemed to forget that it's a problem. A "Lucy Lesson" was needed to remind him it's an issue.

But I can't say I'm suprised. The Rookie can set up interesting conflicts and then drop them like hot potatoes. I mean, Ashley says she never wants to have kids and Tim is just "oh well, okay then", and keeps dating her until *she* breaks up with him lol. I mean, what was the point of that?

no LITERALLY bro like…

like bro if i wanted to see a ship get together the way chenford did, i would specialize in fast burns. i get into slow burns bc my ooey gooey hopeless romantic bleeding heart likes to see the moment where it all comes together. now, i will say, i never really wanted chenford to have the near death confession just bc i think it’s been done to death and they’re both in near death experiences like everyday. i personally think it would’ve been interesting to see an arc where they think they’ll lose each other and have to confront what their lives might be like without the other person and they don’t wanna do that yada yada, like jisbon, (yes i’ll be comparing chenford’s get together to jisbon’s for the foreseeable future). what i didn’t think would get them together was like one blurted line that made no sense and riddled the story with plot holes

as for the work thing………… if i think too long about how the work boundary has been handled, my brain might actually explode lol like… the work thing was their BIGGEST boundary and not only did they give 0 shits about it when getting together but they solved it in one episode over what was basically a prank like… i have a pet peeve in slow burns and it’s when i feel like they probably could’ve gotten together forever ago and i really thought all their story was building up to something but if he was just gonna ask her out on a bench outside work in broad daylight and they were gonna solve the work boundary in one episode via prank, i would’ve just wished they did that after her rookie year. that’s another problem with how they got together like fr if it was gonna be that simple why not just get them together between 3x10 and 4x02 when they were both single and there was no work boundary or if there was it would’ve been significantly weaker like… and im saying that as someone who loved s4 😭 i really did love s4 and how 5a was going before 508 and now it all feels so pointless idk

as for the alt s4 love interests……….. oh boi…… okay so. one thing about me. when it comes to fiction… i love me some emotional cheating like it hits every time lol so was it fun to see tim and lucy carry on with 0 respect for their relationships even though i knew they were being terrible people?? hell yeah. but like… when there’s a REASON. i do not understand the purpose of either of those two being in 5a. let’s start with chris. okay so chenford would’ve hooked up in 501 if chris didn’t almost get killed and lucy stayed with him out of guilt? right? that i could understand. but THEN 508 happened and the haunting words of “if we do this” left lucy’s mouth. now…………. if she knew tim wanted to be with her romantically (which is a whole other thing bc bitch how) her staying with chris is absolutely hilarious. her justification for staying with chris was that if she got with tim it might not work out but brother… forgive me if i’m remembering incorrectly, no one was holding a gun to lucy’s head and threatening to shoot if she didn’t get with tim as soon as she broke up with chris. it’s completely out of character TO ME for lucy to stay in a relationship she wasn’t happy in bc she was scared to be with tim. like… lucy is not allergic to being single, i do not GET IT. like if chris died in 501 and lucy was too riddled with guilt to date the guy she was about to cheat on him with, i would ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND THAT but this is outrageous.

now onto ashley……… hooooooooo ashley…. okay like….. it’s hard to verbalize how fucking inane the inclusion of ashley was to me… like just goofy. silly. unserious. if tim didn’t realize his feelings for lucy until 422 or 501, it is, TO ME, COMPLETELY out of character for tim to lead ashley on knowing he’d prefer to be with someone else. that’s why i honestly still didn’t think he realized he wanted to be with lucy even after 501 because like… you’re telling me TIM BRADFORD stayed in a relationship with someone telling him she was in love with him knowing he was severely interested in someone else?? that’s never been tim like omg. did he almost cheat on her a lil? yeah <3 but like idk there was a whole ass time jump and he stayed with ashley that whole time that is CRAZY. i didn’t want either breakup to be off screen but honest to god, if they knew they were about to get chenford together, i would’ve preferred an offscreen breakup during the time jump over an onscreen breakup THREE EPISODES BEFORE getting chenford together like omg OMG

*woosah break*

anyone who’s heard my rants (and it’s been a LOT) know that the episode i have the most beef with is 506. because like… we know tim probably didn’t care that much for ashley (despite the whole ass year relationship and debating retirement to travel with her but i digress) and it’s a common supposition that he was more wounded by the way she dumped him than losing her. sure, whatever, let’s go forward with that assumption. but you know who didn’t know none of that shit? LUCY. from her pov, it wasn’t that long ago that tim said he could see himself marrying ashley and we know lucy took that to heart. and then in 506, lucy finds out tims been moping for a week because they broke up (and specifically ASHLEY dumped HIM) but she’s still confident enough that tim us really into her for the “if we do this” like… and if the uc op brought up real actual romantic feelings between them, i would understand, but it didn’t. it brought up horny. it brought up that tim was sexually attracted to her. which… correct me if i’m wrong… she knew that… long before the uc op… so lucy spending an adrenaline filled weekend with tim with makeouts required and then he’s like “aye im feeling a lil something” does not equal feelings and i personally feel like lucy wouldn’t have made that leap like that when he was like… with someone. idk like… if i could take out any episodes in the 5a sad excuse for an arc, it’d definitely be the episode where lucy witnessed tim moping over his fresh ex for like two days and then blurted out that they like each other two episodes later.

so yeah the timing, the supposed trigger, the other love interests… no matter how you try to spin it, you will never ever get me like “oh no that definitely made sense” bc no matter how you look at it shit was dumb lol

#chenford #murphallo #murphallo asks

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dreamg0rly · 1 year

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Hiiiii!! so here’s a lil backstory (sorry if it’s too much). but basically i’ve known about not loa communities for almost 3 years. i started off with law of attraction but soon later found out about the law of assumption and switched over bc the first one caused a lot of limiting beliefs and overall the law of assumption was just way easier for me. and i manifested HELLA things with the law of assumption but ofc i consider dem “small” things so me wanting to get into the void is every big to me bc i’ve made a whole list of things that i want to affirm for in the void. before i had took months off from manifesting like all tg (didn’t happen on purpose) i had tried to get into the void once before. bc then i was one of those ppl that would switch methods every other day after it didn’t work the first time (obviously bc i wasn’t persistent in the fact and being consistent) and would just try sum new. but when i did try to get into the void i did a meditation and just affirmed for the void the first time i felt symptoms and almost made it but got to scared and backed out and the second time i didn’t feel any symptoms at all and i don’t rmb why bc it was like almost a year ago but i had gave up. and after i took a long ass break like i said earlier and i really improved myself in a whole lot of ways not only have i seen my progress but my ppl around me have seen it to. and i started thinking i’m finna be a mfn senior bc i am dis my last week of school and i want my dream life before we go back. so lately i’ve been looking into the void again and i have my list and a whole plan of what i’m going to do to get into the void; listening to delta waves every night while going to sleep while affirming my affirmations, affirming throughout the day and just persisting fr in the fact that i always wake up in the void bc i feel like it would be easier for me. also ofc i’m eager to get my desires but i’m not in a rush bc i want to do everything right and not disappoint myself by possibly failing so i’m really waiting for school to be over so i won’t feel stressed (from work and school) and can actually have time to relax bc ik dats what i need to get into the void. but i really have faith and believe my plan would work out bc of some posts i’ve seen on here (i tried to link it but it wouldn’t let me) and i’m really excited for it bc idk why but i just believe if i do everything thing that i feel like is right and that would work it will and i’ll have my dream life soon.

here are my affirmations:

i always wake up in the void aware

i love waking up in the void i can easily affirm for wtf i want and get right out

my affirmations are going to be some like those. i don’t really manifest using the same affirmations i really just be affirming how i think on a regularly basis like i just let it run naturally. but my main point of sending this was a lil fear that i have bc i’ve read ur “tips for the void” and it’s help me but i’m still kinda worried about one thing. i’m kinda scared that me going to the void and affirming in it i’ll just shift in a reality that has everything i want but it’ll just be temporary. like i’m scared it’ll feel like it’s fake like i’m living a fake temporary life. idk it might be confusing but that’s just how i can explain the fear i have.

no i completely understand! i recommend you read some success stories. in void success stories they usually detail out how they manifested their desires permanently through the void and how they are living their dream life in their cr. youll see the difference between void success stories and shifting stories super quickly. just set the intention you want your desires in your cr permanently!

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vulcanhello · 2 years

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okokok discovery s3 thoughts

i LOVED IT. fr loved it. i really feel like discovery hit it’s stride this season. i have almost nothing negative to say about it i seriously ate this season up

michael is seriously the best character of all time ever and she means the world to me and i’m so so happy she’s finally captain. it’s what she deserves!! i love her and book, and her friendships with tilly and saru are so real and good. i wish she and tilly had spent more time together this season but what we did get i appreciated. i’m also glad that the bridge crew got their own mission in the finale! their individuality is finally coming across and i think i really like joanne owo and kayla detmer— i’d love to see them more together! and tilly leading their mission despite her failure as acting captain i think shows a lot of courage and character growth that girl is finally confident in herself as she should be!

the whole mystery of the burn was really interesting to me too, and i think the fallout of it was really well done. the orion leader i didn’t really care about but she wasn’t a terrible villain- in her peace talks at the end you can really see her point and the multitude of reasons why she operates the way she does. one thing i will say is that the andorian who escaped from her only to be killed in the final battle to reclaim the ship is never really mentioned again after the fact, which made me sad. i really wish this show spent more time on emotional fallouts / character interactions rather than interactions based soley on speeding the plot along.

sukal was probably my favorite of the new characters, and the scene in the finale where it shows him accidentally causing the burn made me cry a lil tbh! i think his story was perfect for saru’s character arc as a whole and i hope we get to see a little of them in season four! it would be cool to see kaminar and other worlds in this future. speaking of other worlds, i was disappointed we didn’t get to see michael’s mom or the leader of nivar again! that episode was probably one of the best this season and when michael made her distress call i was sure we’d get to see gabrielle again. maybe next season…

speaking of new characters i thought adira was fine but the whole thing between them and grey is a little boring to me. in the beginning i thought we were going to have a friendship between adira and michael be important but it was kind of dropped after they left the trill planet. also, stamets was annoying in the finale i’m sorry and i get it but no one has sacrificed as much as michael you don’t get to say these things to her!!! just trust her to find a way it’s not like she was going to let anyone die you know this!! i thought he was going to apologize at the end but he didn’t so he’s in my bad books. season four cold open is stamets 50min apology for pissing me specifically off or i will never watch again (real) (true)

overall this season was wicked awesome and really showed that michael is ready to be the best captain starfleet ever had. she always had the courage, the intelligence, the leadership, but i think after truly regaining her place among the crew and figuring out this mystery despite the setbacks and the mistrust solidified her as the best and only person for the job. she worked for that seat and she deserves it! you can’t say that about anyone else on the crew. michael is hope personified. captain doesn’t even feel like enough to describe her importance to the ship she is their heart and soul. i am so so looking forward to season four and seeing what she does next!

#sorry for feeling insane #it can’t be helped #michael has been thru insane trials and tribulations no one else compares #and she holds out! despite it all! she is optimistic and kind and caring and badass and unrelenting! she is everything anyone could aspire #to be like #next season better be the michael gets some shore leave and hangs out with friends season #she deserves a rest!#captain’s log #dsc

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noramoons · 1 year

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yeah hair colors change so fast you blink and it’s new (and more often than not looks great) and you just have to recover from the whiplash LOL and yeah I didn’t start stanning txt till last year but after p much going through their whole discography and really getting invested I can say that they absolutely did not disappoint with this cb (it’s actually my first cb after stanning them too btw ^^ I started stanning after gbgb came out but I’d casually liked them since way back. it’s a story lol)

and yeah ffxiv has one of the best stories I’ve ever experienced in video games I’m so glad I took my time with it. it doesn’t take 6 months to complete and I’m sure ppl have done speedruns I just decided to go slow. It does have side content you can unlock but you can always go back and open it, no need to start another run. the game has technically been out for almost or about 10 years and had four expansions which are basically full games/sequels so it’s no surprise it was a long journey but it was an emotional ride and one of the best experiences I’ve ever had so it was worth every second. honestly one of the best written stories imo too everything was amazing and so well-written just *chef’s kiss* fr beck 🤌🏼🤌🏼😩😩

no this is so true they rlly will change that hair color NONSTOP i rlly am sometimes concerned for their roots 😭 i’m sure they’re treating their hair right but sometimes it does look Very crispy agfndndh

and AWWW omg this is such a good first txt cb to start with !!! i knew you said you’d kinda been casually around since blue hour i think ?? which is abt when i got into them too hehe but it’s absolutely never too late to start stanning, they’re such a fun group and i rlly do think this album was one of their best. it was just inexplicably Them like idk how to say it 😫 their sound and their whole concept was just so txt (and i’m just also always a sucker for anything peter pan related tbh)

and aaaa okay okay i see !! that’s good that you were able to go thru it and really enjoy the story, that says a lot abt the quality that you were willing to devote time to it for that! i didn’t realize it had been out for 10 years tho?? :O i knew there were several games but i wasn’t sure if they were all direct sequels or spin-offs or what ahaha. didn’t they also remake ffvii? that’s the only thing i kind of know about bc i remember a few of my friends irl talking about it LOL but what was that about 👁️👁️

but i’m glad it’s been such a good payoff for the time you’ve put into it !! i love when something is so well written that it almost feels like a reward in a way hehe. and ik you have absolutely immaculate taste izzy so if you say the storyline is good then i KNOW it’s good 😎

#beck answers 💌#decembermoonskz

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sems-diarie · 2 years

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hii can u post a review of the new jjk movie when u watch it? i watched it and ITS SO GOOD i wanna see what u think abt it:)))

jjk 0 spoilers (obvi)

buckle up bc once i start talking, i don’t stop

the opening sequence felt cinematic. and i love how they used music to structure it like an anime op. god i love it here.

i ADOREDDDDD how we got to see yuuta function as the mc to his own story versus just adding him to yuuji’s story, because it helps establish the world of jjk and how it’s existed before yuuji was apart of the bigger picture. fantastic world building. i’m so jealous of akutami and isayama as writers ☹️

jjk 0 also made me realize the difference between a backstory and an origin story. like i’d say yuuta’s backstory was rika, but his origin story elaborates on to the final parts of the movie—when he fights getou and sets rika free after actualizing his goals as a character. and the goal-identifying part is what’s significant for establishing an origin story.

s’like in the mcu, how spider-man has three movies and they all work to establish his origin story? yuuta’s backstory had multiple components to it; the movie didn’t just show us his tragic past, but it also showed us how he comes to be yuuta okkotsu, the legend.

also!! i really liked the scene when maki is pressuring yuuta into identifying what his goals are as a character. there’s something addictive ab the line “i want to make sure no one else gets hurt” (or a variant of that, i can’t remember the whole line, but it occurs after he and maki get trapped in the curse belly.)

that dialogue tag, specifically, really set the movie on fire and added so much to yuuta’s character—yuuta isn’t just a sorcerer because of rika, or because of some blood debt he feels he owes her. he isn’t just a sorcerer because he has this melancholic view of the world and wants to use jujutsu to brood over it. he’s a sorcerer because he wants to protect everyone else from experiencing that kind of pain ever again. his learned optimism is his greatest strength i love him :(

i also LOVE that we got that little flash forward to the present <333 i need to know what he’s been up to, and what he has to do w the narrative now. i saw that one manga panel of yuuta dragging yuuji out of ?? SOMEHWERE by his scruff and i’ve had an eye on yuuta since. so it’s nice to have a personality for a face i’ve been seeing for a year now 😭

speaking of character depth, it was wonderful to see getou’s actual personality LOL?? i feel like s1 gave us absolutely nothing so knowing getou’s motivations as the villain helps me understand s1 better.

that being said, his philosophy is GARBAGE LMAOOOO the most obvious flaw in his plan is that jujutsu sorcery is a naturally-occurring phenomenon. anyone can encounter curses, and just like that they’d go from being a “monkey” to a sorcerer. yuuji and yuuta, for example. i’m kinda disappointed bc i thought getou’s motivations were a little more calculated than this but i don’t particularly care for him enough to be super angry ab it

THAT being said, gojo’s relationship with getou will forever stay with me. even after all this time, gojo STILL TRUSTS HIM?? “he was my best friend! the only one i ever had.” my fucking stomach hurts. and the way gojo sounded so happy to call getou his best friend?? i know he might be keeping up appearances but there was sumn genuine in that fr. sumn wistful.

ALSO WHAT DID GOJO SAY?? WHEN HE SQUATTED DOWN TO TALK TO GETOU WHEN BRO WAS BEAT UP IN THE ALLEY WAY???

the fight scenes were fucking spectacular. maki and yuuta’s sparring session was so clean. also—they hyped maki up so MUCH in this movie!!!! i just fucking adore how everyone looks up to her 😭 she’s so influential and she doesn’t even know it. been that bitch, still that bitch LOLLL

gojo beat that poor man’s ass 😕 AND NO THEY DIDNT GIVE THE BLACK MAN A WHIP TO FIGHT WITH 😭😒

inumaki’s look in this movie is the superior look. panda was goofy as always <333

RIKAAA MY BELOVED!!!! she was the star of the show. when yuuta let her out and she tore that fucking curse apart ???? THE RAINING BLOOD??? i forget how easily jjk switches between child-friendly and… not. the gruesome scenes never disappointed, too.

anyways, back to rika—there was this one part where the screen goes black and then all you hear is rika’s, “it’s a promise!” i don’t know what facet of story telling / movie making that is, but the visual and auditory structuring of her narrative was fucking insane. I GOT CHILLS.

and she, herself, was amazing. i cherished every bit of screen time she had. her and yuuta’s relationship was very sweet. childhood-friends-gone-wrong is always a beautiful trope to display the corrruption of innocence.

i do have to say that rika’s face didn’t look babyish to me??? like it felt like they drew a grown woman’s face into a little girl’s body and that was so uncomfortable 😭😭 they might have done that to prep us for when she’s finally set free at the end of the movie, and looks to be older than she was when she died. but maybe i’m just tripping.

the yuuta obsession was also very much felt 😭 one thing ab rika? she gon go to war for hers! i did get so sad though, when yuuta snapped at her to put maki down and she was begging him not to hate her. i’m glad she’s set free from that bc it seemed like such a burden to be tied to someone so feverishly. exhausting for the spirit.

is there anything i missed 😭

NANAMI OMG. i moaned when he came on screen i’m not sorry ab it either. and that one scene w gojo switching from his glasses to his bandages. the kitty was purring.

lastly, my favorite scene is definitely getou calling yuuta a womanizer LMAOOO getou said verbatim what i was thinking, but it’s ok bc like yuuta said—“it’s true love!” he’s so annoying omg. i miss him i need to go see the movie again.

#jjk 0 spoilers

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smutsonian · 4 years

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f*** being friends

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: Steve is in love with his friend but he doesn't want to ruin their friendship

Warnings: mentions of copulation, making out (it gets heated), jealous steve, awkward steve, lil bit of angst, brief mentions of being bullied (verbally), mentions of game of thrones, i’m hoping for this to be really sweet and fluffy that y’all get diabetes in a healthy way, writing mistakes bby

Characters: Tony Stark, Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanov, Erik Lehnsher (xmen), Cisco Ramon (the flash)

Word Count: 6.5k yikes

an: i have no idea where those characters came from but they’re there. also, hi! im posting something lmao shocker :o ctto of this picture

masterlist

The supersoldier who woke up in the wrong century would’ve been going through a whole lot of hell alone if it wasn’t for the cute scientist who was considerate and patient with him in helping him adjust to his new surroundings after the time-hopping incident. Fury took him to the tower that was owned by the genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist (as he likes to be called) after he tried to run through the streets of the modernized city of New York with his bare feet and that’s where he met her.

The female scientist contrasted Tony Stark so much that it made Steve wonder how Tony even managed to get someone like her to be his assistant scientist. Steve didn’t have to wonder about how you were able to handle Tony because he was a hundred percent sure that you will be able to get along with anyone because you’re… you.

While Tony was an obnoxious guy who likes mocking him, you were nothing but sweet to him. Going out of your way to make him feel comfortable and show him how time has changed the past. You taught him everything he should know and anything he wanted to know and in return, he bestowed you stories from his time before, during, and after the war and the supersoldier serum.

When you told him embarrassing stories about Tony and confessed that you sometimes get vexed by your boss that resulted in you ‘accidentally’ making one of his suits dance crazily while he’s in it, you and Steve shared a laugh and thus, started a genuine friendship.

Tony groans dramatically when he sees Steve giggling at his assistant while they’re making something in the kitchen. He walks over to them and knocks on the counter to catch the pair’s attention before giving them a faux smile. “As much as I love seeing capsicle giggling like a halfwit, I’m gonna have to ask you to stop stealing my assistant. We’re in the middle of discovering what must be the most important information in the world and you’re out here stealing her for shits and giggles.” Tony looks at the captain with a stern look before noticing your dramatic eye roll. “Hey-” he was about to chastise you when you cut him off.

“Tony, learning how to bake chocolate chip cookies isn’t the most important thing in the world but I admire you for asking me for help for the sake of Morgan. But please, stop being so dramatic.” you chuckle at the end of your complaint. Tony bites his lip as Steve looks at you with such fondness without you even noticing it and he doesn’t know if he should feel sorry for the love-struck captain or be annoyed at how stupid and juvenile he was being. Just ask the girl out, goddammit.

You turn to look at Steve before sighing, “Well, duty calls.” you shrug and smile at Steve when he reaches a hand towards your face to fix a stray hair away from your face. You stood frozen, staring at his ocean eyes that were staring right back at you before he started blinking and looked away. “Alright. I’ll see you later?” he asks as he looks back at you and you nod at him with a smile before walking past Tony. Tony rolls his eyes at Steve before pointing at him. “You clearly have it bad for her, cap. Why don’t you do us all a favor and just ask her out?”

Steve gawks at Tony, his face tinting a tiny shade of red before shaking his head. “What are you talking about? We’re just really good friends, Stark. I don’t even want to have this conversation with you.” Steve’s jaw clenches before he too walks out of the kitchen.

Good friends my ass. Tony shakes his head in disbelief, smirking to himself. This is going to be fun.

Some members of the team were in the kitchen, elbows on the counter, and tired out of their minds. Sam has his head on the counter, Natasha was taking a bite out of her sandwich every now and then, and Clint was slurping the milk from his cereal bowl. There was a mission the day before and everyone was showing how much it took a lot out of them.

Y/N was putting whipped cream on top of the iced chocolate drink she made when Steve walked in. His face showed how tired he is but it quickly lightened up when he saw Y/N grinning at him with the iced chocolate. Steve made his way towards her and sat beside her, watching her put colorful sprinkles on the whipped cream before sliding the glass in front of him.

“There ya go! Made with love and all.” she laughs at her own joke and Steve grins at her before taking a sip, earning a mustache made of whipped cream. “So good” Steve closes his eyes as he moans dramatically, making Y/N laugh even more. When Steve looks back at Y/N, she chuckles at him before making a motion towards the space between her nose and her upper lip.

“What?” Steve smiles as he tilts his head to the side.

“Here, let me…” Y/N gets a tissue before leaning towards Steve’s face and gently wiping the whipped cream off his face. God only knows how much I want to kiss his whipped cream covered lips.

Steve stared at her face, heart fluttering at the closeness of her face and gulps when he sees her looking back at his eyes. Those eyes will be the death of me. I wonder if she’ll look at me like that when I’m giving it to her good.

He watches as her eyes flutter towards his lips and then back to his eyes before he’s leaning closer to her face, his lips almost brushing against hers. Fuck.

A bang interrupted them and they quickly pulled away from each other, awkwardly trying to compose themselves. Bucky seats beside Sam who was glaring at him. “You just have to stroll in here, you armless shithead.”

“Not cool, dude.” Clint chuckles before dumping his bowl at the sink. Natasha just sighs before taking another bite off her sandwich.

Y/N’s ears perked up when Sam’s words registered to her brain. Armless shithead.

She turns to look at Bucky before cursing under her breath. “Oh gosh, Bucky. I’m so sorry! Your arm reattachment scheduled this morning completely slipped out of my mind. Oh god. I’ll bring it up here now. Just give me a sec.” Y/N stumbles out of her chair, earning a concerned look from Steve who held his hand out just in case the fidgeting scientist falls. Y/N successfully runs out of the kitchen unharmed, leaving two supersoldiers confused.

“What’d I do?” Bucky asks Sam who just shakes his head at him. Nat did the same thing as Sam did when Bucky turned to look at her. Steve still stared at the door that Y/N left in, thinking about how he almost kissed her and realizing how stupid he was. He could have ruined their friendship right then and there. She was so jumpy and awkward right after too. She probably got spooked by his actions.

“Why the constipated face, capsicle.” As if he wasn’t suffering enough, Tony enters the kitchen with a smug smile. “Barnes ruined his chances of kissing the little scientist.” Sam scoffed as Bucky gasped. “Oh shit. Sorry, punk. I didn’t know you were making moves already. Thought you would never do it. Sorry for ruining the moment. You’ll get—” Bucky’s teasing words were cut off by Steve’s booming voice. “Will you all just stop it?! We’re just friends. Stop pushing it. I don’t see her that way so please, just stop. We’re friends and that’s that.” Just as Steve’s speech was ending, a flustered Y/N walked in with a huge box. She walks over to Bucky and starts fumbling with his arm.

Steve curses under his breath as he realized that she just heard his ‘confession’ and it’s not exactly what he wanted her to know. It’s exactly the contrary to what he’s feeling. He wants to be more than just her friend but he didn’t have the guts to do something about it. He also didn’t want to ruin the beautiful friendship that they already have. Relationships are too complicated and he couldn’t risk losing you just because of his stupid feelings.

“There! All done!” Y/N smiles at Bucky and Steve finds himself yearning for her to smile at him like that every-fucking-time. Bucky thanks her and winks at her that made Steve’s insides boil with something he didn’t have an idea about. Y/N picks the box up before walking over to Tony who was standing beside Steve. Right before she gets in front of Tony, she slips and before she knew it, her face was falling down the floor- only to be stopped mid-air as firm arms found their way to her waist and her shoulders.

She was hoisted up and was met with Steve’s face just inches away from hers. “I got you.” Steve smiles.

Y/N coughed and pulled herself away, making Steve’s smile flutter ever so slightly. “Umm, thanks. I gotta get back to work.” She smiles at him before turning towards Tony and starting a topic about their current topic about using vibranium as something he didn’t have an idea about. He sighed in disappointment as he realized how he managed to fuck up his friendship with her by trying to preserve it. How does that even happen to someone?

“Is it just me or does the supersoldier serum affect the brain badly?” Sam pipes up after Y/N leaves the room to go back to the lab. Bucky elbows his ribs in response while Tony laughs at Sam’s words.

“It’s just Steve who’s being an idiot. Don’t drag me into his lack of brain cells” Bucky muttered under his breath. Tony pats Steve on his shoulder before leaning up to his ear to whisper something.

“Just friends, huh?”

Steve was nervous that you would bail on your weekly movie nights with him in his room where the two of you will watch movies that he missed while he was frozen. His nerves were getting the best of him until you knocked on his door only to greet him with a huge smile and arms full of snacks that were almost covering your face. “Movie night?” Steve swore that your giddy voice sounded like angels singing.

Steve felt his heart flutter at the sight before shaking his head back to reality and easily grabbing the snacks out of your arms and setting it down on the foot of his bed. You skipped over to the bed and plopped yourself on it before looking at Steve with a raised eyebrow.

“So… What are we watching tonight?” The anticipation in your voice made Steve smile before scratching the back of his neck.

“Can we continue the game of thrones?” He asks and Y/N thought that him blushing was the cutest thing in the world so she couldn’t do anything but to nod. I mean, how could anyone say no to that face?

You opened up a bag of chips while Steve tinkered with the tv attached to the wall in front of the bed. As the opening song started playing, Steve hopped on the bed beside you, grabbing the bowl of popcorn before laying on his back beside you and scooched closer to you. You smiled at that and laid your head softly on his shoulder which he seemed to like because he chuckled before stealing a piece of chip in your bag. You playfully glared at him as he only booped your nose in return, laughing when some powder from the chips were left on the tip of your nose. He leaned closer to your face, pausing for a while before blowing the powder residues on your nose. You felt your heart skip for a moment before turning back to the tv as the show continued to play.

The room was dark with only the tv being the source of light but it’s enough for you to watch Steve’s every reaction to the show that you’ve already watched yet willing to rewatch it as long as it was with Steve. He was in one of the earlier episodes where Danaerys was betrothed to Khal Drogo. The tv was playing the scene where Danaerys’ handmaid was teaching her how to make love to Drogo. Your body warmed up at the scene, remembering how graphic this series can be and turned slowly to see Steve’s reaction. You expected him to be fidgety and awkward but he seemed to be really focused at the tv screen so you turned your head back towards the screen and continued to watch.

Steve was trying his best to not have a panic attack right then and there. The scene was making him flustered and the effects of it were going straight to his crotch. He saw you move your head to watch his reaction but he did his best to act nonchalant and he was so relieved when you looked away from him that he almost cried. He thanked all the gods when the scene ended but his eyes widened when the screen showed Khal Drogo entering the tent butt naked and heading straight to Danaerys. When the man started ramming into her, Steve knew that he was fucked.

Y/N nostrils flared in embarrassment as she watched the screen as it showed a very erotic scene. She turned her head sneakily to see Steve’s reaction once again but was surprised to see that he was already looking at her, their faces just an inch apart.

She looked at Steve’s eyes and was shocked to see that they were darker than usual, pupils dilated and his breathing erratic. She stared at him for a brief second before asking if he’s okay, genuinely concerned for the supersoldier.

“Steve, are you ok—” Y/N thought that she could’ve died right then and there when Steve closed the space between their lips and kissed her hungrily. Steve’s lips were so soft against her and when he plunged his tongue into her mouth, she almost came right then and there. This was how she’s deeply, madly, and hopelessly in love with the man.

Steve couldn’t explain the feeling he felt when she kissed him back. He could almost hear the wedding bells ringing when she moved her hands to caress both sides of his face. He placed the bowl of popcorn beside her head before placing his hands on her waist, easily manipulating her body so he was on top of her as he continued to kiss her lips like a starved animal.

Steve felt her hands traveling up to his hair as she arched her back. Steve’s eyes went to the back of his head when she felt her grinding against his hard-on and he was thankful that her mouth was on his so she was able to swallow his moans. He responded by grinding his hips down against hers, earning a tug on his hair and a whine from her lips that made his eyes snap open in shock. Shit.

Steve stumbled as he quickly pulled away from her, knocking the popcorn by her head off the bed and making popcorn scatter all over the floor. “Shit” Steve looks at the mess on the floor and back to you, lips plumper after his assault. “Shit” he says again. “I’m so sorry.” He whispers. “Shit, Y/N. I’m so sorry! I didn’t—” He cuts himself by cursing at himself again and again.

Y/N pushes the hurt she’s feeling at the moment. What was he about to say? That he didn’t mean any of it to happen?

She places a hand on Steve’s left cheek and it seemed to immediately calm him down. “Breathe, Steve. It’s okay. Everything’s fine.” You smile at him which he returns sadly.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean for that to happen, I was just… I don’t know what got into me.” Steve stuttered, almost crying. That’s not how he wanted it to come out.

Y/N looks at Steve with a faux smile. Ouch. Saw that one coming but it still hurt like a motherfu—

“I shouldn’t have done that.” Steve shakes his head.

Y/N gives Steve an understanding nod. And here I thought things couldn’t get uglier.

“I mean… I don’t want to ruin what we have. Our friendship, I mean. I love being friends with you and I love what we have and I don’t want to ruin that because of me.” Steve tries to explain. Keyword: tries. “I mean you’re obviously the most gorgeous person in the world but I don't want to lose what we have just because of a kiss or a ruined relationship, do you get what I’m saying?” Steve looks at you hopefully. Clearly, he’s not very good at explaining things but you nod nonetheless.

“I totally understand. I mean… I’ll be more than fine to try things out with you but I understand where you’re getting from. I wouldn’t want to lose what we have either. I guess being friends is the best idea for you.” Steve flinches at your words. Your tone was sweet but your words were hurting him and it’s his own fault too so that just frustrated him even more.

“How about we forget about what just happened and stay as good friends, deal?” Y/N gives him a friendly smile. How the hell is he supposed to just forget about what happened. That was easily the best thing that’s happened in his life and he drove the woman he loves the most to tell him to just forget about it.

“Deal.” Steve smiles. I am a fucking idiot. I managed to put myself in the ‘friendzone’.

Y/N nods and starts to head for the door before looking over her shoulder towards Steve.

“Goodnight, Steve.” And then she was gone.

Steve’s smile fell and he turned around to study the mess left behind. Popcorn all over the floor, game of thrones playing on the screen, and a very hard cock under his pants.

Fuck

That was it for Steve. He knew he fucked everything up when he barely saw you and talked to you anymore. When you no longer made him the usual iced chocolate with whipped cream and sprinkles that you always made him, it broke his heart. But what really broke his heart is when you started skipping out on your movie nights with him. He’s beginning to think that you’re spending extra hours in the lab with Tony just to avoid him and it did horrible things to his heart. Y/N cursed at the turn of events. She hated how the movie night incident turned out but she was ready to make things go back to normal but of course, Tony decided to overload her with work. She didn’t blame him though. They were at the peak of their research and they’re almost done with it and Tony wouldn’t stop until they finished. Y/N stayed to help her mentor/boss until they got to finish the work. She couldn’t deny the fact that she too is excited about the outcome of the research so she kept herself busy.

She saw how it affected Steve though. She saw how his face would light up every time he would catch her taking quick snacks in the kitchen but she would watch that handsome smile disappear from his face when she waved at him to say goodbye and run back to the lab just to continue on her work. She knew that Steve being Steve, he would blame himself for it so she made a little bit of time to explain how things are currently hectic in the lab.

Steve felt a little bit of weight lifted from his shoulders when she approached him after training one afternoon. She handed him his shield as she talked about a few changes and improvements she did here and there. He was so happy that she was finally talking to him again that he couldn’t help but just admire the way her lips moved and her eyes looked at him with a glint of excitement as she talked about his shield.

“Steve?” Her smooth voice brought him back to reality and he smiled at her adoringly, patting her shoulder awkwardly before thanking her for the improvements she did on his shield. “I just want to point out that I’m not avoiding you.” Y/N bit her upper lip as she looked at Steve shyly. Steve thought that she could never be more adorable than this.

“Tony and I are working on this research and we’re both really working our asses off. We’re so hellbent on finishing the research so we’re always working on it over time. I just… I don’t want you to think that I’m avoiding you.” She finished with a breath.

Steve looked down at her, processing her words before breaking off into a grin. He leaned down to give her a hug which she gladly returned before pulling away. Steve cursed at himself for immediately missing the way she felt against him.

Steve lets out a loud sigh before smiling at her. “Thank, god. I thought I scared you away.”

“Never” she grinned before looking down at her wristwatch. “Well, I gotta head back to the lab” she gives him a smile before offering him a handshake, saying “Friends?”

Steve bit the insides of his cheeks as he remembered the position he put himself in.

He gripped her small hand with his big ones before nodding. “Friends.”

Y/N thought that the day she and Tony get to finish their research would never come but here’s Tony now, planning a party for the achievement. He’s also telling you something about introducing and showing you off to an old friend of his that he invited. Max Eisenhardt, you heard Tony say. He was a fellow scientist who specialized in magnets and Tony can’t wait to show him your research about vibranium.

Steve finds Y/N in the kitchen a few hours before the party starts, making her famous iced chocolate milk. “Do my eyes deceive me or is that my most favorite chocolate drink in the world?” Steve walks over to her, placing his elbows on top of her head before placing his chin on them. “Congratulations on finishing the research, Y/N. I’m really proud of you.” He sincerely says and he watches her duck under his arms and looks at him with a playful smile. “Thank you, Steve.” She makes a move to fix her hair before looking back at the glass. “And yes. This is your favorite drink” she winks at him.

“Well, not to be presumptuous or anything but… is it for me?” Steve bites his bottom lip as she pretends to think about it before nodding. “Of course, it is! It’s been so long since I made you one so I figured I’ll make you one before the party starts.” She grins at him before handing him the glass which he gleefully takes before drinking it, not minding the whipped cream that stained his nose and his lips.

Steve’s heart leaps in joy when he hears her laugh at him before handing him a towel. “Clean yourself up, captain. I’ll see you later at the party.” She waves at him before leaving the kitchen. Steve would’ve preferred it if she was the one wiping his face but he settled with cleaning his face on his own.

You settled on wearing black slacks, a white button-down shirt, and a pair of black flats. Tony mentioned something about introducing you to his scientist friends so you figured that a formal attire would suffice. You were barely starting on fixing your hair when Tony barged in. He took a quick look at you before smirking and dragging you out of your room and into the elevator.

“What the hell, Mr. Stark. I wasn’t done—”

“You already look amazing. Cap will definitely lose it.” Tony smirks at you and before you could even say something, the elevator door opens. He gently pushes you out of the elevator before pulling you towards a middle-aged man who smiled at you immediately when he saw Tony dragging you towards him.

“That’s Max Eisenhardt” Tony whispers to your ear before pushing you towards the guy. You stopped yourself from falling onto Max and he was nice enough to steady you by placing both of his hands on your arms. “You okay?” He gently spoke with an accent you couldn’t quite name.

Y/N cursed at Tony in her mind for putting her in this situation. She manages to give the man a smile before nodding flusteredly. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Mr. Max. I’m Y/N. Mr. Stark’s lab assistant.” Y/N offered a hand for him to shake but he quickly shook his head.

“No need for formalities. Call me Erik or Magneto.” He reached for your outstretched hand and pulled on it until you fell onto his chest. He wrapped his arms around you before chuckling and pulling away. You gave him an awkward smile before nodding and sneakily walking away when he and Tony started talking about magnets and whatnot.

Steve’s blood boiled when he watched the interaction between one of Tony’s friends who calls himself Magneto and Y/N. The way he shamelessly grabbed you and flirted with you made Steve think of horrible things on how to dismantle a man’s arm. He hated this feeling. He was so sure that he’s jealous. He knows that he’s jealous.

Tony somehow managed to push you towards Magnet—or was it Magneto? Max? Erik?— every time he would find you hiding from the guy and you managed to sneak away every time as well. He seemed like a really nice man but he could learn a thing or two about taking hints. She politely rejected him five times already and he still hasn’t given up yet. Y/N just have another guy in her mind and possibly her heart so she couldn’t be bothered by any other person. She’s got eyes on Steve and him alone.

Steve felt so proud and giddy whenever you would politely dismiss this Magneto guy’s advances on you. He would watch as you would shake your head with a smile before leaving the guy. He enjoyed watching the guy get rejected over and over again but at the same time, he hated seeing you so uncomfortable.

Steve couldn’t do anything but watch as Tony introduced you to a bunch of other threats scientists. He was doing his best to remain calm but when he saw you smiling and getting cozy with one of the younger scientists, he couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t do anything and he didn’t have the right to be jealous so what the hell would he do? He also couldn’t just stay and watch as another guy wins her heart.

Steve settled on ditching the party.

“Y/N, is that you?” A familiar yet strange voice spoke up from behind her as she was ducking behind a wall, avoiding a certain scientist.

Y/N felt like the angels above blessed her when she saw a familiar face when she turned to look at where the voice came from. “Cisco?! Is that really you?” The smaller man with long hair nodded while grinning at her. He spread his arms to his sides before saying, “The one and only!”

Y/N couldn’t help but squeal and jump on her heels as she jumped into his arms, hugging him as tightly as she could. She knew Cisco from freshman year in college up until they got their own jobs in very well known industries. “Oh my god, it’s been so long!”

The two continued to talk and catch up with each other’s lives until a point where Cisco bid his friend farewell saying something about needing to be home for his family.

Y/N tries to look for the one person she wants to be with but fails to see his face at the party so she decides to look for him at the compound before a certain Magnet named scientist comes for her again.

“There you are! I’ve been looking for you everywhere!” Y/N groans as she closes Steve’s door. She frowned at him before asking, “Why’d you leave the party?”

Steve closed his eyes before letting out an exasperated sigh. “The atmosphere was becoming a little too much for me” he gives her a cheeky smile, patting the spot beside him on the bed. Y/N happily plops herself down beside him before nodding. “Yeah. Tony’s really good at being too much with his parties. Also, I think his friend got mad at me”

Steve frowned at that. “Magneto?” his face reddens when he sees her watching him, probably wondering how he knew the scientist. She’s probably thinking how much of a creep I am and how I was watching her the whole time.

Much to Steve’s relief, she chuckles under her breath before shaking her head. “So that’s his name! I understand why he got so annoyed now!” Y/N laughs and Steve just watches her with a smile on his face.

“Why? What happened?” Steve asks, praying to god that no asshole tried to hurt you. “I kept calling him Magnet instead of Magneto...” Y/N watches Steve as he lets out a laugh, his eyes closing, and little wrinkles forming at the sides of his eyes. Why is he so beautiful?

“Tony seemed determined to push that guy to me though…” Y/N stares off into the distance and Steve managed to get all the confidence he could get to ask. “Seems like he was trying to set you up with a lot of his scientist friends.” he chuckles but it was so dry, he was scared that she might see how annoyed he was with the idea.

Y/N tilts her head and looks at him with furrowed eyebrows and at that moment, Steve felt his heartache for not having the guts to just ask the woman in front of her out. How can she manage to make his heart feel like this every single time?

“What do you mean? Magneto’s the only guy he’s setting me up with” Y/N’s voice cuts Steve's internal battle with himself.

“What about that guy with the long hair… I think his name was Cisco?” Steve pretends to not know his name but in all honesty, he’d done every research on the guy as soon as he got to his room.

“Oh! Cisco!” Y/N’s face lights up at the mention of her friend’s name and Steve felt his heart break a little at her excitement. “He’s an old friend from college. He’s a very nice guy.” Y/N starts and Steve prepares himself for the heartbreak that’s inevitable.

“We were both freshmen and I used to get bullied by this group of guys. You would think that being in college would stop all the stereotypes and all that but no. These guys would always torment me just because they can but then Cisco, I didn’t know him yet, stood up for me. Even though he was much smaller than the guys and is completely outnumbered, he still fought them and instead of me being bullied, it was us two getting all the torment. It was the start of a beautiful friendship.” Y/N laughs at the end of her story, remembering the event in her mind.

Steve’s blood boiled at the thought of people bullying you. If there is anything that he hates the most, it was bullies. As much as he tried to hate this Cisco friend of yours, he genuinely sounds like a nice guy. Kind of reminds him of himself.

“I can’t believe how we both turned out to be. We’re both scientists now but it looks like he’s doing much better than I am.” Y/N looks down and shakes her head with a smile.

“What do you mean? If you ask me, I think you’re doing a hell of a job!” Steve’s voice cracks a little and he couldn’t help but blush as Y/N looks up at him with a smirk.

“I know. I’m working for Tony Stark, for goodness sake. It’s just Cisco is living the complete package of adulthood. Being married, having kids, and all that.” Y/N sighs, standing up from the bed before moving towards the door.

Oh… Oh!

Steve stood up from the bed as fast as he could, walking towards her with determination.

“Woah, Steve. I’m just going to get some snacks—” Y/N stops talking as Steve pulls out a small velvet box from his slacks and hands it to her.

“I uhh… Congratulations on the research, Y/N. I’m really proud of you.” he guides her hands to open the box, revealing a vintage necklace with a scarlet gemstone.

“Steve… You honestly didn’t have to.” Y/N admires the necklace before running her fingers against the red stone. Steve takes the necklace and moves to stand behind her. “May I?” He asks her to which she quickly nodded.

Steve stared at Y/N and admired how she managed to look ethereal with or without the necklace. “You know… I bought that necklace for you a few months after I met you.” This was it. Steve couldn’t keep his feelings from her anymore. He might regret it later but at least he got to tell her how he really feels.

“You did?” Y/N whispers under her breath as she looks up at Steve when he tilts her chin up with his fingers.

“When you were tasked to babysit me, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. About how you were so understanding. The way you were so patient with me. The way your eyes lit up each time you would tell stories about something you’re passionate about.” Steve gulps before continuing, “I knew I was fucked when you laughed at one of my lame jokes. I remember how angelic your voice sounded and how everything seemed to disappear and all I could see was your face.”

Y/N stared at Steve with hooded eyes. It felt like she was in a dream. She watched how his eyes glossed and watched him breathe through his lips before he leaned closer to her, lips barely touching.

“What about being friends?” Y/N watches him as he bites his bottom lip.

“Fuck being friends” he breaks the distance and kisses her with determination. One of his hands finds its way to her back while the other cradles her face, pulling her closer to him as if he didn’t want any space between them.

Y/N’s hands find their way towards the back of his neck, pulling him closer with the same determination. They didn’t pull away from each other until they needed to breathe.

Steve goes back in for another kiss, guiding her back to the bed and positioning himself on top of her.

Their night was just getting started and wouldn’t end any time soon.

Steve stared at you while you peacefully slept beside him. You looked otherworldly wearing nothing but the necklace he gave to you, rays of sunshine hitting parts of your skin, and his blanket laying on top of your body. He decided then and there that he will always want to wake up to this view. He wants to wake up every day with you beside him. He smiled at the idea.

His cheeks tinted red when he remembered how you looked on top of him and how you looked under him. How you became breathless because of him and how your body squirmed under his touch. Just the thought of you makes his cock spring back to life. It doesn’t help that you’re currently staring at him with a small smile and tired eyes.

“You’re awake!” Steve breathes out, eyes widening a little.

“Good morning to you too” Y/N chuckles at Steve's reaction before turning to look at the ceiling.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” Steve leans down to kiss your lips, then your nose, and then your forehead. You smile up at him before kissing his lips.

“So we’re not friends anymore?” Y/N raises an eyebrow at him before giving him a cheeky smile.

“I want to do this the right way.” Steve watches Y/N tilt her head in confusion.

“Let me take you out on a date,” Steve asks.

“I think you got your sequence a bit mixed up, Steve.” Y/N grins and Steve retorts with showering her face with kisses making her giggle under him.

“Okay! Okay! I’ll go on a date with you on one condition.” Y/N straightens up before staring at him seriously.

“Anything” Steve responds immediately.

“I’ll go on a date with you if you agree to become my boyfriend” Y/N gives him a toothy smile.

“I will gladly be your boyfriend… I guess I’m not the only one who got the sequence of dating all messed up, huh?” Steve teases her and she just laughs in return, taking Steve’s dress shirt from the floor and putting it on. It was big on her so it fell just above her knees and she rolled the huge sleeves up to her forearms.

Steve admires her in his clothes. Another view that he would always want to see. He stands from the bed only to pull her body on top of him as he lays back on the bed.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let you go.” Steve’s voice was deep and sincere and he loved how her body responded to his voice.

“I’ll only leave you when you no longer want me but I’ll still be there to watch over you. I’ll always be there when you need me.” Steve turned her body around so now they were chest to chest.

“I don’t think that’s possible.” Y/N watches Steve as he furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

“I will never not want you. Besides, I got it bad for you just as you got it bad for me.” Y/N leans her face closer to his, pressing her forehead against his.

“How do you know that?” Steve smiles as he looks at her lips before looking back at her eyes.

“Because I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let you go as well.” Y/N grins before pressing a kiss on his lips and him immediately responding to the kiss by pulling her body closer to his. A kiss that sealed their relationship because they were no longer just friends.

#steve rogers fluff #steve rogers smut #Steve Rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers oneshot #captain america #captain america imagine #captain america fluff #captain america smut #captain america x reader #friends to lovers

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kixa · 3 years

Text

— 𝓗𝓸𝔀 𝓭𝓸 𝓘 𝓽𝓮𝓵𝓵 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓘 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾?

Pairing: Sero x fem! Reader

Warnings: cursing? Fluff and crack

Synopsis: Sero is nervous to tell his crush he likes her

Word count: 2.4K

A/n: pls I’m so late but here’s my Valentine’s Day gift to y’all 🤧

Tagging: @honeykami

‘Sero stop starin- oh shit she’s looking over here’ Sero thought quickly redirecting his gaze to the front where Aizawa was giving a lesson. His cheeks grew a faint blush, not wanting to meet your eyes again and make things even more awkward, his eyes never left the board upfront. Sero looked down at his hands and fiddled with the little box. He gently smiled remembering what was in the box.

Sero had had a crush on you for a while. You guys were only good friends but he had thought of you as something more. He admired everything about you, your smile, your laugh, the way you looked so cute while studying, the list goes on and on. Your friends had caught on very early on but you brushed it off thinking that it might be just a joke they were playing on you. But you’d be lying if your heart didn’t flutter a little bit when you’d catch him staring at you.

Valentine’s day was coming up and there was already a whole bunch of activities that you could participate in. From candy grams to secret flower gifts (I fr don’t know what these things are called) the list went on and on. But Sero’s biggest dilemma was he wanted to confess on Valentine’s day but he didn’t know what to get you.

“Ok so guys I made her a bracelet and I got her favorite candy. Whatcha think?” Sero asked with bright eyes.

“Dude you can’t get her that, you gotta go all out like flowers, balloons, boxes of chocolates, all that good stuff,” Denki replied. Kirishima lightly punched Denki in the shoulder and moved in front of him.

“Don’t worry she’ll love what you got her. I take her as the girl who’s not into all the extravagant stuff,” Kirishima reassured. Kirishima’s words made Sero lightly smile but it hid the creeping anxiety he felt. Would you not like his gift? Would you think it was tacky and too small? Maybe you do like all that big stuff.

If confessing to you already wasn’t enough this worried him even more.

—-

When lunchtime came he passed the various tables set up for the small gifts you could buy. All of the gifts looked so nice and seemed like the perfect confession present to give someone. The commotion of the crowd was too loud he couldn’t think. What should I get her? Flowers? But I don’t know her favorite flower. Maybe I should just keep the original present?

After fretting about the whole situation and second-guessing himself he felt a little hopeless. Valentine’s day was tomorrow, and he hadn’t found any gifts worthy or unique enough for you. He sighed heavily as he plopped down on his bed. Staring at his ceiling he started to make images and moments of you from his mind. He remembered the many times you were clumsy and proceeded to laugh at yourself. He gently smiled, also thinking of the many times you guys both caught each other’s eyes but quickly looked away. Or how excited you looked when you told him stories. When he thought about it he just couldn’t get you out of his mind. He realized how special you were to him.

He got up and began to write down ideas for how he should confess to you. He actually made a checklist. Making up his mind, he called Denki and Kirishima to let them know the plan. They were totally down although Kiri kept on insisting that Sero just give you his original present. Sero brushed it off replying that he had to show you how much you meant to him and that he needed to make the whole thing big.

----

Valentine’s day comes and Sero is a nervous wreck. He had spent way too long in his room getting ready for class but for him a ‘monumental step in his life’. He tried to do his hair a different way putting it in a small ponytail. He talked himself up in the mirror for maybe 7 minutes.

“Heyy I look good,” he walks past the mirror, “oh hey didn’t see you there the name’s Sero” does some poses “Looking so sexy for what? Who gon check me?” “Stiff where? Stiff where?” as he’s swinging his head back and forth. “Oh, you said I’m hot? Si estoy muy caliente,” he grins.

He snaps his head as he hears hysterical laughter from his doorway. He sees Kirishima rolling on the floor while Denki is running around like a madman cackling. Sero brightly blushes to turn his head away.

He grabs his bag, “Haha very funny now let’s go before we’re late”

“Ok but you lost me at the ‘stiff where’,” Denki cried imitating the hair-waving action.

“Please it was the ‘Si estoy muy caliente’ for me,” Kirishima said wiping a tear. Sero pushed past them, ignoring the mocking. They followed Sero out of his room to be welcomed with decorated halls and mild chatter, seemed everyone was pretty excited about today. Thatś when it hit Sero, the butterflies of nervousness and the confidence that was once present slowly started to fade. He continued walking with his head facing the floor and he didn’t realize until Denki ran up to tackle him from behind.

“Whatcha thinking about scotch tape?” Denki questioned hanging off his shoulder. Sero suddenly snapped out of his zone out.

“Huh? Oh nothing really...just Y/n and today,” He muttered.

“Don’t worry bro we got everything covered for today’s plan,” Kirishima assured.

“Yeah, Bakugou is getting the balloons and teddy bear meanwhile Jiro’s vocal cords are pitched and ready to go. Everything is under control...except I couldn’t find any roses they were all out so we’ll just have to scratch the rose petal walkway,” Denki added. Sero felt a little weight off of his shoulders but was still disappointed how a portion of his plan wasn’t going to work.

As the day went on he couldn’t concentrate in class just thinking about the preparations for everything, it had to go perfect. Then he got the text from Jiro saying she wasn’t feeling too well and she would have to opt-out for today. Panic started to settle in. ‘Damnit ok so the little serenade is out of the picture too...it’s ok it’s ok just remember what else we have...we’ll make it work’. Sero reassured himself. He texted Denki and Kiri about the news and they tried their best to spew positive comments telling him to look at the silver lining. He looked up from his phone to search for you in the classroom. There you were turned around giggling with Mina about nonsense. As if you couldn’t look any cuter.

Throughout the various periods, his nerves stayed the same but settled enough for him to work on school work. His eyes flicked back and forth between Aizawa and the chalkboard behind him taking notes. He abruptly stopped when he noticed Aizawa wasn’t talking anymore, everyone has stopped what they were doing to pay attention to the people coming through the door. There was a girl and a boy carrying roses with little notes attached to them. They separated and started to move towards certain individuals. Sero’s head snapped towards you to see if they were headed your way, but they didn’t. ‘I should’ve got her one’ he thought to himself. He stopped his thoughts when a person blocked his view from you.

“Sero Hanta right?” the guy asked. Sero raised his head and nodded. “For you,” the guy said handing him a beautiful white rose. His eyes widened confused as to what happened. Who could’ve given him this? He whipped his head around the classroom trying to spot anyone who might’ve sent this. He thought about you, could you have given him this? Nah she probably wouldn’t...unless...nah

Following the peculiar incident, the bell rang signaling the end of the school day. Sero scrambled to put his things in his bag and get out of the class in a hurry. He raced out of the classroom to meet up with Kiri and Denki.

“Ok guys we got a couple of minutes before the halls clear out, Mina is with Y/n so she’s going to keep her company,” Sero started.

“I just spoke with Bakugou and I checked with him to see if still got the balloons he told me to piss off but I’m sure he has it covered,” Kiri added.

“So we’re all good right?” Sero questioned. “Yep!” Denki answered.

---

Once they heard the chattering of you and Mina from around the corner they hurried into their places. Sero standing off to the side while Denki, Kirishima stayed hidden and Bakugou should be joining them at any minute. When Mina and you turned the corner you caught Sero’s eye and almost immediately greeted him. This day was pretty hectic as is but seeing Sero made it a little better. Mina slowed down a bit behind Y/n and looked to Sero, she gave him a grin and thumbs up.

“Hey Y/n I’m going to meet up with Momo so I’ll catch you later,” Mina said. You turned back to look at her backing away down the hall, you figured this was because she wanted you and Sero to be alone together. You lightly giggled shaking your head, “Ok see ya tomorrow Mina,”

Sero watched the whole thing nervously fidgeting with his hands until you turned back around to face him.

“So what’s up?” you asked.

“Oh yeah um..yeah I wanted to tell you something,” he said flashing his cute bright smile. He rummaged in his pocket fishing for a piece of paper. Taking the crumpled paper and unfolding it he scanned over it before taking a sigh. Sero’s big eyes flicked between the paper and you, taking a dry gulp. You thought this was all too cute you had a small hunch about what was happening but didn’t want to think too far into it.

Meanwhile, Denki and Kiri were panicking like hell. Sero was about to start his “speech” and Bakugou wasn’t here. The majority of Sero’s plan wasn’t working out the way it should’ve and he was just hoping at least Bakugou would come through. (Not calling Bakugou unreliable...but yeah..I wouldn’t count on him if this were me). The two frantically texted Bakugou multiple times and called. Finally, Kiri got a reply.

You:

Bro where are you? You’re supposed to be here

Hothead:

I told you to piss off what part of that did you not understand Shitty hair

You:

Bro…

“So he’s not coming just great,” Denki exclaimed. “I’ll text Sero,” Kirishima said.

At this point, Sero was halfway through his note when his phone buzzed but he ignored it. It buzzed again, he ignored it. Now the duo was getting desperate because they needed to tell him. They called him and it interrupted him mid-sentence. He fumbled taking his phone out of his pocket nervously laughing, excusing himself to answer his call.

“What? I know you guys can see that I’m busy right now,” Sero whispered.

“Sorry, but we wanted to let you know that Bakugou isn’t here and we have no balloons and teddy bear. We’re sorry dude,” Denki explained.

“Are you serious? Shit, what do I do now?” panicked Sero.

Kirishima was quick to answer, “What about your original present the bracelet, and her favorite candy? You still have them in your bag right?”

“I do...but do you think she’ll like it?” he said anxiously. Kirishima quickly assured him even Denki added on. Sero took a deep breath and thanked his friends then ended the call.

He walked back over to you and was welcomed with a warm smile you gave him. It made his heart melt and he almost forgot what he was doing. He cleared apologized then started to speak again.

“Where was I? Ah ok so after knowing you for as long as I’ve known you I’ve realized that you have a wonderful impact on me and the things I do. I don’t know it’s just like now I see the world a lot more colorful than before and I’m pretty sure it’s because of you. I don’t know what your feelings are towards me but I just wanted to let you know how much you mean to me and not as friends. So without further ado Y/n would you be my Valentine?” he explained. At this point, you were beaming with excitement, nervousness, and fluster. After internally screaming you finally settled down.

“Yes Sero I would be more than happy to be your Valentine, I thought you’d never ask,” you answered composedly. Sero nearly jumped out of his skin in elation.

Sero hurriedly took off his backpack to get out the present, “Oh I almost forgot I have something for you” He pulled how the small box and box of candy. You took them both and audibly gasped, “Sero where do you find these? I thought they were discontinued” He shrugged chuckling a little. You opened the small box and were welcomed with a cute beaded bracelet with your hero name on there. You slipped it on, holding your hand out to admire.

“Whatcha think?” he inquired. “I love it” you grinned.

“Also was that you that gave me the flower?” Sero inquired. You slightly smirked moving past him.

“Maybe… also you did a good job at hiding the whole plan but next time don’t do all the extravagant stuff just be you be cool,” You commented walking away.

“Oh yeah will do...wait...how do you know about the plan?” Sero realized. You continued walking shrugging while giggling. He followed you yelling out to get your response. You just bust out laughing now walking a little faster down the hall. He started laughing finally letting all of the anxiety about the whole situation slip away.

See nothing to worry about :)

---

Epilogue?:

Bakugou tried to move over switching to a more comfortable position while sleeping. But his eyes shot awake when he realized he couldn’t move. He was taped down to his bed and he knew immediately did this.

“DUMBASSES,” he screamed. After singeing the tape to nothingness he made his way to his door. Throwing it open damn near taking the door off. Sero, Kiri, and Denki zoomed down the hallway laughing up a storm. And I promise you Bakugou was not having it, he blasted himself down the hall trying to catch up to him.

And um...how that situation ended up is up to you...🙂

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smokeybrandreviews · 3 years

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Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Super Green

The Green Knight s finally out and i can see it without having to wait a month and a half! I thank A24 for this rather quick turnaround because this thing has been on my radar fr what seems like forever! I’ve written about this before but A24 is my favorite studio releasing content. Neon is a close second and Netflix is making a real charge, but A24 releases classics. Some of my all-time favorite films are A24 products. Ex Machina, Hereditary, Under the Skin, The VVitch, Uncut Gems, Zola, Midsommar, Lady Bird, Eighth Grade, The Lighthouse, High Life, The Monster, Enemy, Climax, Room, The Killing of a Sacred Deer, The Disaster Artist, and Under the Silver Lake have all impressed in one for or another, all of them A24 offerings. This studio is f*cking amazing and i cannot sing it’s praises enough. They’ve been around for less than a decade, A24 was founded in August of 2012, and they’re brought this level of quality consistently. The Green Knight has all of the workings to slide right into my all-time list, just like Ex Machina and Hereditary did before it. Let’s see if i really love it as much as i think i will.

The Exceptional

The first thing that hits you is how f*cking gorgeous this film is. Seriously, i was immediately captivated by that opening scene with Gawain rushing for Mass. It definitely opens up as the film progresses and you are treated to one of the most visually striking films of the year. This movie could give Denis Villeneuve, Ari Aster, or Robert Eggers a run for their money. Seriously, you can frame several shots in a museum and no one would know the difference between that and the Van Gophs on display.

I r0aely mention this but it’s absolutely necessary that i do in this particular review because it was just that memorable. The sound design made this film. I’m not talking about music choice or score, but the actual sound effects for specific scenes. That sh*t was some of the tightest I've ever hear on a film and it really added to the overall experience. Just the way the Green Knight creaked and popped as he moved was more than enough to get this mention but there is so much ore than just that. I hate that i had to see this at home because, f*ck, this thing would have sounded like god in a proper theater.

I mentioned that you can frame these shots in a museum before and a lot of that shine belongs to the cinematography. The shots chosen for this film are breathtaking. I imagine a lot of that has to do with location but even the scenes filmed in dank castles and murky bogs popped with that same, meticulous, shot composition and it really gave those scenes life. The were ties when my jaw dropped at the majesty of a scene. The one with the giants immediately comes to mind. Like, f*ck, was that beautiful to witness.

In that same breath, you have to know when to pull back. Editing is just as important to a film as anything else and The Green Knight is cut with a precision I've rarely seen. This thing has no fat whatsoever. It presents to you exactly what you need and little else. I love that. I love that this film has a story to tell and it tells it with extreme prejudice. These cuts were made with intent. That’s rare nowadays.

I also have to give a nod to the use of color and lighting. Again, it’s not something i ever really focus on but goddamn is it necessary for this review. Light plays a very important role in how this story was told. Certain scenes absolutely need it and others are perfectly accentuated by it. It takes a deft hand to juggle such a nuanced aspect of film and The Green Knight has done that the best this year. So far.

This film has a very real, very potent, atmosphere. It’s not tension, not like Uncut Gems of Good Times, but there is this unrelenting sense of dread that runs through this entire film. It’s measured and restrained but it’s always there. I appreciate that. For a film to illicit such emotion out of me is testament to the mastery of it’s visionary.

All of the praise I've given to the technical aspects of this film would be for naught if i didn’t recognize the director, David Lowery. This dude is fast climbing the list of my favorite directors. I actually listed bunch above but, after seeing what he’s gone with this film, dude is really making a case for himself. He did the Pete’s Dragon remake which i hear as pretty good, and A Ghost Story but i haven’t seen either. Not really my cup of tea. But if they’re as good as The Green Knight, i might have to revisit that thought because, holy sh*t, this dude can direct the f*ck out of a film.

The writing is on point. I legit hesitated to put this on here because it is the weakest aspect of everything else in this film but that is misleading. The writing is exceptional. There is no way this film could be as good as it is, if the script was dog sh*t. The material given to these performers had to the top tier in order for them to give the performances they did and and they definitely f*cking did that!

This whole cast really f*cking delivered. Sarita Choudhury as Mother and Sean Harris as the King were easily the best of the supporting cast but everyone else brought that same energy. Joel Edgerton, Kate Dickie, and Barry Keoghan, all deliver powerful performances. Hell, this is the best I've ever seen Erin Kellyman act and i have to give a lot of credit to the overall quality of this cast delivered. That said, there are three individuals who put everyone else to shame and i say that knowing exactly how much praise i just heaped upon them all.

Alicia Vikander comes in and delivers on two roles, Essel and the Lady. This isn’t surprising at all because she always delivers. I’m never disappointed by her performances. Admittedly, i haven’t seen many but that’s because she is very particular about the characters she signs on to portray. That said, it’s weird the two performances she’s done that immediately jump out to me, are both with A24 films. Her Eva in Ex Machina, and that film in general, is what made me even take notice of both her and A24 as a studio. Here we are, seven years later, and she’s still blowing my mind. F*cking exceptional.

Ralph Ineson is almost unrecognizable in the Green Knight make-up but the second he opens his mouth, you immediately recognize that gravitas. There is a weight to this character and you f*cking feel it with every move Ineson makes. Dude isn’t in it much but the scenes he does appear in are absolutely stolen by this big, green, maestro of his craft.

More than anyone, this is Dev Patel’s film. This dude is a great actor but it’s rare someone gets a part where they can really bite into the content but that is not the case with this role. No, sir, this sh*t was tailor made for Patel and he definitely digs right the f*ck in. His Sir Gawain is just as good as his Jamal Malik from Slumdog, if not better. Seriously, this film would be nothing without Patel. As outstanding as every other aspect that i gushed about in this brilliant goddamn film, the very best is Dev Patel’s performance. Seriously, that sh*t, alone, is worth the watch.

The Verdict

The Green Knight is f*cking exceptional and exceeded all of my expectations. This year long wait was more than worth. It's the best film of the year so far, leap-frogging into my top twenty all-time and I've seen thousands of films. This thing is a masterpiece on all levels. Narrative, plot, lighting, performances, sound design, composition, editing, score; It's the closest thing to a technically perfect film I've seen in quite some time. If Dev Patel doesn't get an Oscar nod for this, there is no justice in the world because he f*cking carries this movie. Patel is easily the strongest force driving this incredibly compelling watch, but Alicia Vikander, Erin Kellyman, Sarita Choudhury, Ralph Ineson, Sean Harris, Kate Dickie, and Barry Keoghan all match that energy with f*cking gusto. I was absolutely mesmerized by the way these absolute masters in their craft, embodied and gave their respective characters life, particularly Vikander. She never disappoints.

The only issue I see that would hinder someone actually getting into this film is the fact that it's a little long in the tooth. You never really feel it, as long as you buy into the fact it's a character study and not a high concept fantasy film filled with dragons and sh*t. If you think Michael Bay and Zack Snyder are the pinnacle of cinematic excellence, pass on this. You won't make past the first tn minutes. Also, make better life choices. No, this is about Gawain and it never deviates from that core drive. Weird sh*t happens, sure, but it's nothing as fantastical as Smaug or a Balrog. Even so, this f*cking movie kept me glued to the edge of my seat. I loved every second of it and cannot sing it's praises enough. My only regret is that I didn't get to see it in a proper theater. This f*cker would have been a real experience to see on a proper cinema screen, especially that shot with the giants. The Green Knight is outstanding and deserves all of the praise it's gotten and so much more.

#Smokey brand Movie Reviews #The Green Knight

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spelviin · 3 years

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basically i have a lot of Thoughts™ about the whole “other people getting to play as glenn at this point in the story” thing and i need to inflict them on other ppl sry

ok so like. basically i’m kinda of two minds about the whole thing. like, on the one hand, i totally get “glenn fatigue” setting in, we’re like six months or something into his arc and tbh we don’t have an awful lot of clear-cut development or growth to show for it (some, absolutely, but not a whole lot). so a part of me is totally feeling the “just get on with it!” impulse, and in that regard i am glad we finally got him to break.

on the other hand though, in the actual moment on my first listen-through of the ep, my honest impression was that i felt a little bit disappointed. not because it was jimmy getting to act out the moment, but because the reaction to the call from morgan itself felt just a teensy bit out of character to me?

because like, we’ve seen this scene before. we’ve seen glenn take a call from morgan for the first time, back at castle ravenloft, and it did not go then the way it did in this ep. glenn was shaken, yes, absolutely, but it was a very quiet, heavy, restrained devastation. and it might have evolved from there and turned into something bigger, but he never had a chance to process the sudden reopening of that deep emotional wound in the moment because the o-dad reveal happened literally immediately afterward.

that being said though, at least in my opinion, freddie did not let that moment or its implications on glenn slide, and was playing the emotional aftermath of that call for several episodes afterwards. and yeah, sure, that post might have been me reaching, but i do think that that shit indicates that freddie does have a plan for this character.

and it’s weird to say, but i don’t know how much of the rest of the podcast jimmy has listened to, whether or not he heard the ep with the phone call to morgan, and whether or not that factored in to the way he played that moment when glenn was in his hands. to me tbh i felt like it probably didn’t, but that’s just me.

now, to be fair, the absolute last thing i want to do here is sell jimmy short. he did a fantastic job playing as glenn in this episode, his acting in that moment was perfectly devastating (”don’t get in the car” fucking BROKE me fr) and in his defence in terms of characterization, the glenn in this episode is in a very different emotional state than the glenn who answered the phone at castle ravenloft. he has been though hell, he has had his soul thrown from his body, he’s been put on trial, he’s been held in solitary confinement and been periodically tortured for nearly a decade, he’s had his entire life usurped by a fucking cop of all people, he has had his son, the only family he has left, the person he loves in this world more than anything, look him in the eye and tell him that he hates him. like, it is very very reasonable to assume that glenn is in a much more fragile state, and that being confronted with morgan’s voice now absolutely would push him over the edge and make him finally break. like that is an extremely reasonable and valid read on the character. i just don’t know if it feels 100% right to me.

i don’t know how that scene would have gone if freddie had been playing it, but i do lowkey suspect it would have been a bit different. not better or worse, not even necessarily more or less satisfying, just different.

BUT that does lead to the silver lining in all this. the thing we have going for us in terms of glenn’s characterization moving forward is that the players all know who they - and more importantly in this case, each other - will be playing in the next episode. which means that if there is anything freddie wants or doesnt want in terms of glenn’s characterization, he can discuss it all with will in between recordings. and yeah “spirit of improv” blah blah blah, the point is that if he does have a secret master plan of the nuances of glenn’s emotional state and how to deal with the current situation, he has a method of making that known to the guy who’s been handed the reins.

and honestly i think this might actually be a bit of a win-win, because (and this is just my own baseless impression of a complete stranger who i do not and will never actually know, so take it with a massive grain of salt) i kind of lowkey get the impression that freddie might not be entirely comfortable with performing really intense emotional scenes? and lord knows that is absolutely will’s wheelhouse, like, dude has made me cry so many times over the course of this podcast, he is a goddamn powerhouse when it comes to emotional performances. so like, there is an opportunity here, if it is in fact what the players actually want (which, again, this is complete speculation), for everyone involved to kind of have their cake and eat it too. we as the audience get the emotional payoff for glenn, freddie doesn’t have to fake-cry on the podcast if he doesn’t feel comfortable doing so, but he still gets the opportunity for input as to his vision for how this would all play out.

anyways, i’m likely wrong about all of this. i used to think i had an idea of where this arc was gonna go, but everything’s been so buckwild (in the best possible way for the most part) that i’ve accepted the only thing i’m usually right about is doodler shit and am now just settled in and enjoying the ride lmao.

#og #dndads #long post sry i have a lotta thoughts n feelings

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puckinghell · 4 years

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The Plus One Pact | William Nylander | Part 4

Summary: Your ex is getting married, and you don’t have a date, which means the unavoidable “why don’t you have a boyfriend” question is about to haunt you for the rest of eternity. But then there’s Will, who could be the answer to all your problems. A simple business pact, no feelings involved: that won’t be hard for you, because you really don’t like him anyways. Except pacts were made to be broken… or something. Right?

Note: This is part 4. Click here for part 1 | part 2 | part 3

You don’t know how it happens.

Okay, you kinda do.

One night, you get a text from Will that’s just a screenshot of a very strongly worded email to a certain balloon company, and then three crying-from-laughter emojis.

Still not funny!!! you text back, and you expect not to hear from Will again until the wedding.

You’re wrong. When he texts you again the next day, asking how you work was, you figure it would be rude not to answer, and then when the phone rings late one night, you worry something is wrong, so you answer that, too.

“What was your day like?” Will’s voice is quiet and timid when he asks, and you take it you’re not gonna talk about that awful game they just had, so you talk to him about your day for an hour until his voice is lighter and he’s laughing again.

It starts happening more and more, and before you really realize it, it’s weird when you haven’t heard from Willy in a day.

To be truthful, it turns out Zach was right; as he usually is, which you would rather die than tell him.

But Will is different when it’s just you two, and your favorite moments with him are when he calls after games and his voice is laced with sleep and you can nearly hear the smile through his voice when he asks you about your day. Everything about him is muted, then, but it feels real, and important, somehow.

You even learn to appreciate how annoyingly chipper he is, because sometimes you really do need someone to just laugh at your bad mood until it goes away.

You also learn that, like you expected on the plane to Calgary, Will keeps his head high but it’s mostly a facade. Comments get to him, especially when they’re about his hockey – “that’s the only thing I was supposed to be good at” he jokes one time, and you wanna hit him over the head with his hockey stick until he understands that that’s not true – and he takes everything personal, although he tries not to show it.

Everything you didn’t like about him, you find out, is something you either got wrong about him or learned to appreciate.

And there’s so much more to like about him, too.

One night, after a really bad day at work, you have a fight with your sister about Noah’s stupid wedding.

“Why are you so against coming?” your sister says, a little too aggressive. “Surely you aren’t still in love with him? He’s happy with Betty, Y/N.”

Of course you’re not still in love with Noah, but it hurts that she can’t just accept that you don’t wanna go. That she can’t take your side in this, even if she doesn’t know the full story. She should trust that you’re not being difficult for no reason.

And you can’t help yourself; it’s late and you know Will just got done with his game, and he’s all the way in Carolina but you call him anyway.

He answers almost immediately.

“Y/N?” he asks, and he sounds surprised. It’s to be expected, because he’s almost always the one calling you, but it stings a little, nonetheless.

“Uhm, hi.” You pause. “Is it… okay that I called?”

“Of course. Always.” Will sounds truthful, so you decide to take his word for it.There’s no more extra space in your brain to worry about that, as well.

“Congrats on the game.”

“Thanks.” You hear Willy’s grin. “I’ve told Zachy we’re both very proud of him for that OT winner.” There’s an indignant huff next to him that sounds a lot like Zach and you figure they’re still on the bus, where Willy usually sits with Kappy or Zach.

It’s quiet, then Willy’s voice, treading very carefully: “Is something wrong? You don’t sound too happy.” There’s some stumbling and you can almost see how Willy must be elbowing Zach away from the phone, because Zach is basically an overprotective dad whenever he hears anyone isn’t doing well.

But Willy… Willy isn’t like that, but he sounds worried anyway, and he sounds gentle like he’s trying to calm you down, and suddenly you’re telling him everything: about the day you’ve had and your job that sucks and that you’re worried about the wedding and why can’t your family just trust you, for once, and what if this all isn’t worth it just to keep your family happy?

When you’re done, Willy’s voice is soothing. The background noise has disappeared. Maybe the bus has stopped.

“It’s worth it,” is what he says. “You know it’s worth it.”

You sigh. It’s annoying still that he’s usually right.

“I just don’t want to deal with it anymore.”

“And tonight you don’t have to.” There’s a sudden noise and then Will cursing. “Fuck, sorry, hold on, I’m trying to open this stupid hotel door…” More crashing and banging, and then Willy’s voice reappears. “Tonight you don’t have to deal with anything, okay? We can FaceTime and watch a movie together.”

And that… That actually sounds really nice, and like it doesn’t require any brain power which is good because you have none of that left anyway.

“Hey, what’s your favorite take out food?”

It’s such a random question, out of the blue, and when you tell him that, the blurry FaceTime screen can’t hide his eye roll.

“It’s just something friends are supposed to know about each other, now tell me.”

“Sushi when I’m feeling fancy,” you say, “or pizza when I need comfort food.”

You can’t even pretend to be that surprised when a massive pizza shows up at your door 30 minutes later.

You hate that it nearly brings tears to your eyes, but after the day you’ve had…

“Thank you, Willy,” you mumble, and there’s something soft to his look when he smiles at you.

“What are friends for?” he asks, and you realize you don’t even mind that he’s declared himself your friend, now.

A few weeks ago, you would’ve disputed it. But now, you find yourself kinda wishing it could be more.

What are friends for is apparently your motto now, and it’s all a little strange as you get into the car, your fanciest, most beautiful dress and highest heels on.

“You look great,” Zach says. He’s wearing a suit and his hair is slicked back, the way it always is when he’s really trying.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” you reply, a little grumpily. “I hate team events.”

“I never did understand why.” Zach starts the car and backs out of your driveway. You’ve been told Alannah is going to the venue straight from work, and Willy had an appointment and couldn’t come get you, which is why you’re in the car with Zach, now.

“Because I don’t fit in there.” It’s the honest answer, but it’s obviously not the whole story. The whole story is that those events are filled with beautiful women, and you never feel quite up to par; like you snuck into a place you’re not welcome, not supposed to be welcome, either. But Zach wouldn’t get that. Willy wouldn’t get that either.

And you just couldn’t come up with an excuse fast enough, not when he said: “But Y/N, it’s for charity.”

It would not matter to the charity, of course, if you didn’t come. But Willy had looked so hopeful, and then he’d pulled out the final card: “It’s gonna be way more fun with you there by my side.”

And now you’re wearing a dress appropriate for a charity gala, which means you’ve never felt more uncomfortable in anything in your life, and your feet already hurt from your heels, and this was such a bad idea, God.

“You know,” Zach says, and his tone tells you this conversation is going somewhere you don’t want it to go. “Willy doesn’t like these events either. It means a lot to him that you’re coming for support.”

You nearly roll your eyes. “Willy charmed the socks off every person at my boss’ wedding, Zachy. He really doesn’t need my support for these kinda things.”

Zach’s face stays stoic. “Yeah, but nobody at that wedding knew him.”

“So?” you frown. “That should only be a disadvantage, considering he’s William Nylander.”

Zach laughs, then. “Still haven’t figured it out, then? I’m disappointed in you, Y/N. I thought you were good at reading people.”

“Hey!” you react, offended. You are good at reading people. It’s one of the things you pride yourself on. “If you know it all so well, why don’t you just tell me?”

Zach sighs. “Willy doesn’t like these events anymore because he is William Nylander, as you say it, and that’s not really a popular name in Leafs territory, right now.”

And, oh.

That.

“I did realize he cares a lot more about what people think than I thought he did.” You pause. “More than he should, probably.”

“Definitely.” Zach’s face has that protective big brother vibe about it, again. You used to not understand, why he always looked like that when people were talking shit about Willy.

You get it, now.

“There’s always plenty more people telling him he’s great, than there are people sending him snarky looks,” Zach continues. “But he never really believes any compliments he gets, so that doesn’t help.”

Suddenly, you realize something.

You’ve never really… complimented Willy? Even when you realized he cared more than he let on, you still just assumed he knew how great he was. Sometimes, he kinda fishes for something – “Did you see my goal?” “How about my cooking abilities?” “I know how to pick a good movie, right?” – but you’d always laughed and chirped him for it.

“If your head gets any bigger, it’ll explode.”

And Willy is always complimenting you; he tells you you look great all the time, even when you decidedly dont’t, but he clearly remembered what you told him about Noah because that’s never the only thing he compliments you about.

He tells you how smart you are, “I like how good you are with animals”, how any food you make is the best thing he’s ever eaten, if only everyone was as lovely as you.

You feel guilty, now. If Willy is your friend, you’ve really not been doing such a good job at being his friend, too.

You’re fixing that tonight, you decide right then and there.

“I’ll make him believe it,” you tell Zach, and it comes out sounding vaguely threatening.

Zach laughs. “Thought you didn’t like him?”

“Maybe he’s not as bad as I thought he was,” you admit, and you don’t tell Zach how much you really, really do like Willy, but you think Zach kinda knows anyway.

Will meets you at the door, where Alannah is also waiting for Zach. He smiles at you, eyes soft.

“You look beautiful, Y/N.” He quickly presses his lips to your temple, which is a new development that you don’t really know how to handle.

But Will is a tactile guy, anyway, so you’re sure you shouldn’t read too much into it.

You see Zach’s raised eyebrow, and suddenly remember – fine, maybe you’d forgotten your objective for a second because Will looks really hot in that suit, but you’re back on track now.

“You look beautiful too, Will.”

Willy’s eyes widen and a flush creeps up on his cheek, but before he can answer you grab his hand and pull him into the building.

It’s a fancy, really expensive hotel, where the gala is being held. It’s filled to the brim with people, a few of which you recognize, most of which you don’t.

“That chandelier must be worth more than our entire house,” Alannah mutters, and you’re glad to see it’s affecting her too, although she’s been to these events many times.

Zach laughs. “With a puppy in the house, aren’t you glad we don’t have any furniture that costs more than our mortgage?”

“Do you want a drink?” Will’s lips are close enough to your ear to hear him over the noise of the crowd and the music in the background, and also close enough to feel his hot breath against your neck. It takes everything in you not to shiver.

Maybe you do need a drink. Or ten.

Willy and Zach go to get the drinks and Alannah leads you to where some of the other WAGs are. Steph is the only one you know and she hugs you as soon as she sees you coming, then introduces you to the rest.

“So, you’re with Will, huh?” she asks, eyebrows waggling.

You were expecting that question, but maybe not so soon into the evening.

“Uhm,” you cough, “not really. Just his plus one for tonight.”

“Sure,” Steph says, and she looks like she doesn’t believe you at all.News always travels fast in the WAGs group, and Alannah is looking a little guilty.

You find you don’t mind so much, that they think that you’re together. Although you really don’t wanna think about why you don’t mind.

When Willy finds you, Kappy and his girlfriend are with him, and the four of you make your rounds throughout the room, talking to any sponsor that seems interested in a conversation. Mostly you just stand there while Willy talks, his hand on your back as if he’s scared you’re gonna run off.

“I always thought this would be a lot of work,” you mumble in Willy’s ear, when you’re between conversation partners. “But I really only have to stand here and look pretty.”

Willy grins. “Seems like it comes natural to you.”

Right. You kinda forgot about the compliments again.

You shrug, lean a little closer until you’re basically pressed into his side. It feels a little too right, maybe, how quickly Will’s arm wraps around your waist.

“You’re really good at talking to these people.” You’re talking pretty loudly, but you’re pretty sure Will is the only one that can hear you over the noise. “The second you open your mouth, people are so charmed by you. I think you could make anyone love you.”

Willy’s eyes flash to the floor, and they stay fixed there as he mumbles something that sounds a lot like another “uhm”.

His cheeks are flushed red, and you’re saved from having to deal with that as Auston appears, eyes wild and jaw tense.

“I’m being stalked,” he hisses. “This old white dude literally won’t leave me alone even for a second. He’s been following me around for an hour. Help.”

Willy bursts into giggles, which is probably not very helpful, and the betrayal on Auston’s face is enough to make you feel bad for him.

“Come on,” you say, grabbing his arm, “let’s go hide behind the bar.”

It’s easier than you thought it would be, to get through the evening. In fact, when Will asks you if you’re ready to go, you hadn’t even noticed it had become so late.

You say goodbye to the few people you know and gratefully accept Willy’s offer to drive you home.

The car ride is silent. It’s not awkward, but the air is heavy with something, and you curse yourself for all those times you wished Willy would just shut up, because now he has and you hate every second of it.

Did your compliments freak him out? Did he regret asking you to come?

“So,” Will finally says, as he stops in front of a traffic light. He’s not looking at you, keeping his gaze firmly on the road ahead of him. “That wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.”

“Zach told me you don’t like these events,” you try, carefully. You’ve never had to pull something out of Will, force him to open up; he’s always just kinda done it, from the very moment you met him, shared parts of himself with you that you never had to search for.

For you, who’s never learned how to not keep something hidden, that was maybe the thing that unnerved you about him the most.

“I like doing things for charity,” Will answers, and you can tell he’s picking his words carefully. “But I don’t like people looking at me as if I’m some kinda disappointment who doesn’t belong there.”

“Have they ever said anything?”

“No.” Will smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes and there’s a hint of sadness laced in it. “Not to my face, anyway. But I’m not stupid, you know.”

No, he’s not stupid. For all the conflicting thoughts you’ve had about him, you never thought he was stupid.

And you never thought he was a bad contract, either. It seems imperative, suddenly, that he knows that.

“Willy,” you say softly, and although his eyes are still on the road, you know he’s paying attention. “You can’t seriously believe that you’re anything but an amazing hockey player. You’re worth that contract and you’re worth the effort Dubas put into keeping you here. You’re so smart, and I know people don’t always see it but you work so hard, and Matts was so happy when you got back on his line because he knew you would be magic together.”

Will’s cheeks are red but this time, he’s not mumbling when he says: “I know I haven’t been playing as well as I can.”

“Stop,” you tell him, softly but forcefully. “Stop deflecting, stop dodging. Just take the compliment and believe me when I say you’re great at what you do.”

“That’s very nice of you,” he says, his voice a bit shaky, and that’s a different kind of deflecting but it’s still deflecting, and it’s hurting your heart.

“William Nylander,” you scold, and then you do what you’ve been wanting to do this entire evening and let yourself reach out and put a hand on his knee. “Just accept the compliment.”

Willy carefully reaches down to grab your hand, intertwines your fingers together as he lets both your hands rest on his thigh. He’s holding the steering wheel with one hand, but he’s driving pretty slowly and the roads are deserted, so you’re not too worried.

You’re more worried about the fact that he just doesn’t believe you.

“You’re a great hockey player,” you repeat, stubbornly. “And a great person.”

Finally Willy allows himself to smile, this small, rueful thing that sticks somewhere deep inside your chest, folds up next to your heart like it’s gonna stay there forever.

“Thank you,” he says, and maybe he still doesn’t really believe it but this is as far as you’re gonna get tonight and maybe that’s okay.

You’ve got time.

The car has reached your flat and Will parks it in your driveway. It’s quiet, and he hasn’t let go of your hand, and you kinda don’t want him to.

The night is over, probably.

But there’s still one thing you need to tell him, though. “It doesn’t matter, Will,” you say softly. “What those people think. It doesn’t matter.”

“No,” Willy agrees, and for the first time you can tell he believes it. “But it matters what you think.”

He finally turns to look at you and there’s so many emotions swirling in the deep blue of his eyes, but you can’t really put your finger on any of them. All you know is your heart is beating in your throat, and you really want to kiss him.

But Willy still looks a little sad, and you have a feeling there’s something he’s not saying.

“I told you I think you’re great,“ you tell him, and it’s the truth.

“But you didn’t, before.” Will hesitates. “I told you I’m not stupid. I know when people find me annoying.” He shrugs. “I get it. I know I can be too much.”

And God, there’s so much hurt in that, so much pain and yet understanding, and you can tell he truly believes that, and you would do anything to take that away from him.

Anything.

So.

“I didn’t like you,” you admit, but when Will goes to pull back his hand, you simply hold on tighter. “I was wrong. I didn’t know you, and I was wrong. Now I know you. And I like you.” You inhale, pause. “I like you so much I don’t really know what to do with myself, sometimes.”

It’s quiet. You can nearly see the wheels turning in Willy’s head as he searches your face for something; something to tell him you’re not being truthful, maybe, that it doesn’t mean what he thinks it does.

If that’s what he’s looking for, he won’t find it.

Then he drops your hand, jumps out of the car and slams the door.

Disappointment and hurt washes over you; you knew you had to try, had to put your heart out there, but it hurts that it’s smashed into pieces like that. Clearly you read it wrong, clearly you still don’t know how to tell what Willy’s feeling.

Except then your door opens, and Willy is holding out his hand.

“Come on,” he says, and his voice sounds… fond? You don’t know exactly what to think about it, but he doesn’t sound angry, or upset.

Against better judgement, you grab his hand and get out of the car.

“I have to tell you something,” Will says. And, there’s no way that he’s doing what you think he’s doing, but his hands are suddenly traveling up, one reaching to cup your cheek, the other settling on your waist. His eyes are staring into yours intently, and they’re twinkling but it’s not the same mischievous twinkle you’re used to seeing.

“I really like you, too,” Willy says, and he leans in and presses his lips against yours.

For a split second, you stand there, not quite knowing what just happened, but then his hand tightens on your hip and you realize that this is real, this is happening, and Will’s kissing you.

So you kiss back. You let your body lean heavy against the car, place your hands on his biceps and pull him closer, until his chest is flush against yours. The kiss deepens, and you swear you can feel your heartbeat synching up with his.

The night is dark, and quiet, and it rains a little, but you feel none of it.

All you feel is Will, surrounding you, and everything is beautiful and exactly the way it’s supposed to be.

#happy ending except!!! is it???#william nylander #william nylander fic #nhl fic #toronto maple leafs

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harrysgloves · 4 years

Text

Fine Line (Chapter 5)

>>>Catch up with the Fine Line Masterlist!<<<

word count: 2.5k

story summary: Since you were kids you and Harry had always walked that fine line of friends or something more. Now, pregnant by someone else, you find yourself staying with your long time best friend after things go sour with your boyfriend of 3 years.

Singlemom!Reader x Harry Styles

chapter summary: Your last night with your friends in town ends the same way it did in your childhood, curled up with Harry.

warnings: Language

a/n: Editing? I don’t know her. xx

>>><<<

You flipped through a trashy magazine as your head laid on the soft pillow on Harry's couch. You knew you should have been looking for an apartment but you were determined to spend your remaining night with your girls in peace.

"What are you going to do when you can't paint your toes yourself?" Gemma asked as she dipped the brush back into the yellow polish you had snagged from Harry's bathroom cabinet.

"Make Harry do it." You said with a smile as you flipped another page.

"Fucker used to steal my polish so much." She grumbled as you let out a snorting laugh.

"You two ever going to talk about your thing?" Abby asked as she plopped back down in the living room a jar of pickles and peanut butter in hand along with ice cream and mayonnaise in the other. Your pregnancy cravings were already out of control and weird as hell.

"We don't have a thing." You said as you reached from the pickle jar, Abby jerking it out of your reach as she glared at you.

"We didn't believe you when you were 14. We don't believe you now." Gemma scoffed as she screwed the top back on the nail polish bottle.

"Withholding pickles from a pregnant lady should be illegal." You whined as you laid back on the couch, staring up at the ceiling of Harry's house.

"Just tell us the truth." Abby said with a smile as she tauntingly held the pickles in front of your eyes from where you laid.

"Nothing to tell." You said as you stared longingly at the jar of food that quickly disappeared from your line of sight. Your eyes following it to see the very unimpressed Abby's disbelieving face staring at you.

"Bullshit." Gemma said with a laugh as she took the jar of pickles, eating one, and mouthing 'so good'. Adding fuel to the flames as you rolled your eyes at her.

"The room you're staying in is decorated in bunnies, and you're trying to tell us nothing is going on?" Abby's eyebrow raised at you as Gemma happily ate YOUR pickles.

"Oi, it was a stupid childhood nickname." You said as you made grabby hands for the jar that Gemma pulled out of your reach.

"Fine, you two really want to know?" You asked with a huff their heads nodding instantly as they situated themselves for story time.

"Wait." Gemma paused as she got settled in her spot. "You're not going to tell me weird sex shit about my brother, right?"

"I will if you don't hand me that jar." You said barely having time to catch it as she shrieked and threw it at you.

"That's what I thought." You mumbled as you got the jar of mayonnaise, opening both to dip your pickle in it.

"God, that's fucking disgusting." Gemma said as she pulled a grossed out face. Watching you eating your snack with pure disgust.

"Never mind that. Spill the tea." Abby said as she laid her head in her hands, peering up to the couch at you.

"You two asked for it." You mumbled under your breath. Your back pressed against the couch as you let out a sigh.

"So, you know we were always close right?" You said as you dipped a pickle in the jar of mayonnaise. Their heads nodding their agreement as Abby gestured for you to continue with your story.

"And that summer before he left for his first tour we were really close?" Your eyes stayed fixed on your treat, teeth chewing the side of your cheek as you thought back to your time with your sweet Hazza.

"Yes! Oh my god, get on with it!" Abby groaned as you rolled your eyes at her. Gemma looking somewhere between curious and weirded out.

"Well, we had sex, he was my first."

"Ew. Okay, I don't think I can do this." Gemma said as she pulled a disgusted face. Abby quickly slapping her across the shoulder telling her to shut it as you continued.

"Anyways," You said as you glared at Gemma. "Afterwards, he started saying all this shit about staying with me 'cause my dad had just got his diagnosis, you know?"

Your eyes stinging with tears you were holding back as you swallowed harshly. The memories of your dad explaining to you that he wasn't just a normal kind of sick burning into your mind. The feeling of absolute hopelessness engulfing you all over again as he explained to you that he was too far gone for chemo treatments.

"So, I told him it was over. Whatever we had was a one time thing." You said as you took a bite from your snack as Abby's eyes widened.

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"Cause of the look Gemma is giving me right now." You said with a smile as Gemma continued to look absolutely horrified.

"It's just weird picturing my brother and you…" She trailed off as she gagged dramatically.

"Ew, don't picture us!" You shrieked, throwing a couch pillow at her.

"I can't help it!"

"Wait, so, have you liked him this whole time?" Abby asked as she ripped the pillow away from Gemma, your face giving away the answer before you could even speak.

"It's complicated." You said with a sigh. Your hands running down your face as you groaned.

"Can't be that complicated." Abby said as she rolled her eyes. Your hormones flaring as you debated smacking her. It was complicated. Or at least, to you it was complicated.

"I moved on with Jess." Your lips pursed as you thought about all the times he was there for you.

You had known him growing up but he was more Harry's friend than your friend. Once Harry left you two got closer. After your dad passed and your mom got sick he fell into place as the person who helped you through everything. By the time Harry got back from tour you'd convinced yourself you'd moved on. Replacing Harry with Jesse.

"Oh, you mean the asshole who knocked you up and left?" Gemma said with a very blatant tone of anger running through her voice. Even though you couldn't blame her for being angry, hell even you were still angry at him. You still had this part of your mind nagging at you to protect him. After all, he was the father of your soon to be child.

"Think he just needs time." You swallowed down the lump in your throat from the lie you had just told. Both your friends not believing you but neither one of them wanting to push the topic and trigger a hormonal meltdown.

>>>

"Wish you guys weren't leaving so soon." You said a little while later. Another rom-com playing in the background as you braided Abby's hair.

"I know." Gemma sighed, her eyes shooting up from her spot on the floor as you tried your best to hide the disappointment on your face.

You were going to miss them.

Miss the comfort and stability they gave you.

"I can stay another week." Abby popped up, making you stop fiddling with her hair.

"No you can't. Your boss already hates you and Kevin hasn't stopped calling since you left. The boy is like a lost puppy without you." A smile on your face as Abby swatted away your hands. Pissed you called out her man like that but you thought it was adorable.

He absolutely loved her. Exactly how she should be loved. Exactly how you wanted to be loved and accepted by some future partner.

"He's not a lost puppy." She grumbled as Gemma laughed.

"Yes he is!" She said through giggles, your own laugh ringing through the air as Abby grumbled from in front of you.

"Missin' all the fun?" Harry said from the dining room, a grin on his face as he saw all of you in his living room. Remembering all the times you three would camp out in the living room back when you were kids.

"Fun's just starting." You said as you moved over on the couch, tapping for him to sit beside you. "'Bout to make this lot flip on Footloose."

"No!" Gemma cried as she looked at you. Her eyes pleading with you to not make her watch it.

"God, please. Any other movie!" Abby groaned as Harry let out a chuckle, settling beside you on the couch. His arm around the back of it as you settled into his side.

"Come on. Me and Y/N know all the dance moves." Harry said with that toothy grin as his hand cupped the side of your head. His fingers playing with your hair as you hummed your agreement.

"Wish mum was here. She wouldn't let you two watch it." Gemma huffed with her hands crossing over her chest. Her eyes glaring at the ceiling.

"Whatever. We killed it back then. Only dance this fucker knew how to do." You said as you nudged Harry in his side.

"Oi, I wasn't that bad of a dancer!" He said loudly as you cracked up laughing at him. The other two joining in as you gave his cheek a few pitty taps.

"Whatever you gotta tell yourself, Hazza." Your smile across your lips as he mumbled about you being the world's biggest brat and pulling you in closer to his side.

The movie was barely on for 10 minutes before Abby and Gemma passed out. Their soft and not so soft snores filling the living room.

"They bitch 'bout the movie and they don't even make it 10 minutes in." Harry grumbled beside you as you shrugged.

This was a very accurate representation of your youth. Hanging with your friends and them passing out way before you, leaving you awake with Harry.

"Not like I didn't expect it." You said, Harry humming his agreement as your head rested on his lap. "How was Mitch and Sarah?"

"Fine. Annoyin'." He grumbled as you turned over on your back to peer up at him. The dark room surrounding both of you, the blue light of the TV hitting across the high peaks of his cheek bones.

"You think everyone's annoying." You smiled as he turned his head down to look at you. His lips curling as his hand rubbed up and down your arm. Something so soothing that he'd done so many times.

"Not you." He said as you snuggled into his tummy. His hand tightening around your arm slightly as he felt that familiar fluttering of butterflies swirling in his stomach from your touch. "Well maybe if y'keep eating all the pickles and mayonnaise in the house."

"I can't help it!" You gasped, your head snapping to get a view of him smirking at you.

"Mhm. Just wanted to stay fo' a few days fo' my snacks, bunny. Don't lie." His fingers cupped under your chin as he lifted your eyes to look at him.

You swallowed that feeling burning deep inside of you as you smiled sweetly up to him. His eyes twinkling with that hint of mischief you used to know so well.

You didn't have to read minds to know you two were already slipping back into those murky waters of the unknown chemistry between you two.

"You do have good snacks. Those little cookie things? Yeah, they're amazing."

"I saw you eatin' those mint chocolate cookies with mustard. How the fuck is that good?" He scoffed out a laugh, reality slapping you in the face as you shrugged.

"Dunno, the baby wants it."

The room felt like the air was taken out of it as you both stared at each other. The baby, Jesse, Camille, all of it running back into both your minds as Kevin Bacon's voice rang around the room. Your body pulled away from him even though your mind begged you not to.

"When's y'appointment?" He asked as his hands rubbed down his thighs, fidgeting with his rings.

"Thursday." Your eyes stayed fixed directly on the TV as you spoke. Teeth biting your bottom lip as your arms wrapped around yourself.

"So, they'll be gone." He asked, gesturing to the two snoring logs on the floor in front of you two.

"Mhm."

"You tell Jess 'bout it?" He asked and even though your eyes were burning holes through the television you could feel his uneasiness.

"Yup." You said with a sigh, leaning back against the couch. "Well, I tried but you know…"

"He's a dick." Harry mumbled under his breath a smile cracking on your face as you nodded your agreement.

"Maybe he'll come around." You shrugged, your fingers picking off the lint on your plaid pajama bottoms. Not wanting to get into this with him.

Not wanting to get into this conversation with anyone.

"Maybe I'll call my mum and she'll make him come 'round." Harry offered with that grin on his face.

"Okay. I want the option of him being in the baby's life. If Anne gets ahold of him, it's game over."

"Yeah, she'd be a bit… violent." He said with a laugh, your head nodding as you hummed your agreement.

"Remember when my homecoming date stood me up? That was scary." You blew out a breath as your eyes widened, remembering her storming into the dance to tell him off.

While it was sweet. It was probably the most embarrassing experience of your teenage years.

That and the time you started your period in a white skirt but you tried your absolute hardest to forget that ever happened. Even though Harry was sweet enough to give you his gym shorts for the day it was a fucking nightmare.

"Pretty sure that guy cried."

"We had a good time though." You said a smile ghosting your lips as your head rested on his shoulder. Him humming his agreement as his own head rested on top of yours.

"I'll go with yeh to y'appointment." He said a little while later, his eyes looking down to see you already staring at him.

"You don't have to, Haz. Know you hate doctors offices." His eyes rolling at you as he nudged you a bit with his shoulder.

"'S different when 's me goin'. Wanna go with yeh."

"You sure?" You questioned, your eyebrows furrowed as you stared at him. Knowing damn well his white coat anxiety was rough on him.

He just rolled his eyes at you. Smiling as he nodded his head. His arm reached around to pull you into his chest and even though you knew deep down inside of you that you two were crossing that line. You couldn't help how good he made you feel.

You sighed, settling into his chest. Eyes growing heavy as his hand ran over your hair. His breathing sounded like a gentle song lulling you to sleep.

"Night, love." He said a while later even though you couldn't hear him. Your slowed breathing giving away you were asleep as his lips pressed to your cheek.

"Going to get your heartbroken." He heard his sister mumble out from the other side of the room. Her head still resting on the pillow she had on the living room floor.

"I know."

#Harry Styles #Harry #Harry Styles x Reader #Harry Styles x You #harry styles x y/n #Harry Styles fanfic #Harry Styles Fanfiction #Fanfic #Fanfiction #Writing #Mine #Fine Line #FL

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icecreamkink · 3 years

Text

so i watched cobra kai all in two days and i have so many -

this show has so many cool and smart angles to it, but the same time.... its so stupid oh my god everyone is so dumb literally mr miyagi held all of the braincells in this whole universe

like i am but at the same time i am not surprised it was made like this, bc in hindsight of course there were hordes of ppl simping over johnny lawrence .... but it still amuses me that this is like... an Actual Official Thing

ok this will get long so cut it is

how much fun this cast has is super visible and i love it

i rly enjoy how the world was expanded ! i did grow up watching the karate kid movies, so watching how they progressed the world of the movies so organically was pretty cool. it rly feels like its the same universe

i fucking LOVE stories that are largely about a Thing. dancing ,skating, sports its just so thrilling to experience this all consuming relationship people can have with this type of activity? and martial arts are just that much more intense, so yeah, grown ass men kicking each other around at the lightest provocation and a war veteran caring so much abt teen karate is Ridiculous.... but i love it all because thats the intensity i find so thrilling

was kinda surprised with how much im missing mr. miyagi. first because, like everyone is so unhinged jesus christo, it just really throws into relief how much his character grounded the narrative of the movies. but also hes just a really great character

and on that note it rly Gets Me that the show itself aknowledges that and plays that into daniels angst and all the little ways they sorta weave myiagisms into the whole show........ im not getting emotional over this dumb karate dads show OK

related - i really miss hearing ‘daniel-san’ 🥺🥺

ACE DEGENERATE oh god oh no

they really went down the down and out johnny lawrence route huh. like i was always kinda bummed we see kreese choking him and then we never see him again in the movies, and while i love dumpster fire problematic trash himbo ck johnny, its like......................... actually really sad that his life turned out like this fjngn

everytime i hear ‘babes’ and ‘pussy’ i die a little inside. i know thats the point but i am a v cringe easy person, have mercy (ehe)

loved the way they are constantly drawing parallels between johnny and mr. myiagi of all people. hes the handy man of his building that has a bullied kid asking for help and eventually steps up to teach them karate, beats up a bunch of bullies for him, creates a friendship with said kid, estranged from family, drinks his sorrows away, surprisingly one of the least quick to anger characters (which says more about everyone else really but.... Well.), no schemes or ulterior motives hes just tryna vibe here.... oh and ofc magically heals miguel of is asthma apparently. the true disciple.. meanwhile daniel is his usual messy petty self even tho he wants to be mr myiagi so bad

also interesting about that is how miguels character is a parallel of both johnny and daniel at the same time

overall the parallels in ck are done really well, drawing comparisons and also subverting them constantly. theyre well thought out

THE PARALELOGRAMS

fr tho, the angle being explicitly the cycle of trauma and its effects and how trumatized adults in turn traumatize kids, maliciously or not, is so interesting

but! on the flip side of that, it feels like the writers are getting in their own way @ letting the characters grow. especially this last season. theres only so many times you can do "johnny and daniel are getting along but 5mins later they are (literally) fighting over some dumbass random issue" or "johnny puts in 20% of effort with robby and then gives up" before it gets on your nerves yknow?

i see daniel no longer talks like macchio ingested 15 shots of espresso before every take and idk how to feel about that tbh

interesting tension in daniel, as in, in tkk mr miyagi was there and daniel was frankly, kind of a lil shit, this messy petty spitfire hot tempered sassy kid,(johnny lawrence voice: just... stop being so annoying) but now hes the adult, and he wants to be mr. miyagi... but hes just not, and never will be to his very core and it shakes him and in a way hes trying to find who he is now that he sees himself in a position to be a not! cobra kai figure. i kinda really like that

plus how that relates to his cobra kai trauma. idk if the writers thought abt it Like That, i think so, but in any case, its interesting bc it seems like daniel has told everyone whod listen about johnny lawrence his Pretty Boy Karate Rival and high school and 84 cobra kai... But. no one seems to know what went on in 85 (or 86? idk) which was just so much worse

like ye og cobras were shitheads, but tkk iii is just two hours of daniel being emotionally and physically tortured.

like, the third movie is.............chaotic, to put it nicely, and many people ignore it, but the writers clearly didnt. daniels actions are, in a way, responding so much more to the events of tkk iii than to the first movie ie. johnny himself, AND. daniel doesnt rly seem to have dealt with that trauma? he never told sam? doesnt feel like hes ever told amanda? he doesnt even say terrys name out loud? freaks Out over kreese ? the way he reacts to robbys deceit? his FACE when he walks past the new "fear does not exist in this dojo" paint or kreeses photo? hmMm i sense Pain

his fashion tho........... disappointing. where are the flower shirts daniel huh we had one (1) shirt what a tragedy STOP WEARING SUITS ALL THE TIME . also the band ts/grunge bi are a look for johnny but part of me longs for the preppy lovable 80s bully chic johnny lawrence getups

weird that they never used that last moment of karate kid where johnny kinda... snaps out of his anger and hands daniel the trophy almost in tears. like “youre alright larusso, good match” “thanks a lot” that being their last direct interection seems like itd be perfect fruit for cobra kai but... they just dont. weird.

especially when, the FIRST SCENE they see each other, suposedly in 30+ years, the first thing to come out of daniels mouth is QUOTE "u still got those golden locks huh?" WHO SAYS SHIT LIKE THAT DANIEL FUCKING SAN

also amandas immediate reaction "your pretty boy rival?" like. can we talk about the fact that daniel had to have imparted to his wife the very important information that his high school bully/karate rival was like Really Cute and Fucking Hot Actually

the writers Knew exactly what they were doing and honestly.............. power to them

tkk director voice: and billy was just so cute

also I was thinking that daniel sounded strangely fond in that first scene, and i wonder if he developed a weird affection for johnny on the grounds that of all of his Karate Rivals johnny was actually the only one who didn’t actively tried to literally kill him

i was actually delightedly surprised with how great the chemistry between them is, like from the get go i am Invested. their rl friendship totally bleeds through and its fantastic

. granted, idiots enemies to lovers friends is my Thing so i am biased

johnny lawrence: i am down in the dumps, i fucked up my whole life and my sons probably, largely in light of the trauma that the father figure sensei and the philosophy of my karate inflicted on me and all my friends. u know what i should do, as a traumatized, unreliable mess of an adult? teach that same philosophy to some other kids! what could go wrong!

but really i enjoy the setup of it. i kinda like that i watched it late because, season 1 was johnny setting himself up for failure in a way and it was exciting to watch it all go to shit sjfn

Like. his heart might be in the right place, but theres just.... not a way to teach something like ‘strike hard, no mercy’ and not have it fuck up a kid

case and point: aisha, miguel and hawk become annoying as all hell over that bullshit in the end of s1, even before shit gets truly fucked up

billys subtle panicked eyes when he sees hawk and miguel fighting dirty in the all valley was SO GOOD especially in parallel with the panic that is so visible in his face in the movie when kreese tells bobby to injure daniel and in the sweep the leg scene

seen people question wether kreese should have returned and i absolutely think he needed to. johnny needed to realize that cobra kais fundamentals are flawed, at the root, beyond kreese himself being a toxic piece of shit

also who are we kidding? we are here to see the tkk characters play on new playgrounds!

i get what they're doing abt kreeses backstory, ( also. cobra kai. pq eles caem nas cobras djjs sorry) but did it need to take up that much time? feels like they couldve done it in half the run time and developed some other stories better

martin kove has such an evil eye. i love it

love that we get a good follow up to kreese breaks johnnys trophy and tries to CHOKE HIM in the parking lot, which happened in the movie and then....................... was never mentioned again

“the gang is all back together again” aaaa u piece of SHIT

also. terry silver is definetely appearing ha ha ha PAIN i cant wait

seen ppl say kreese was too much of a cartoon villain like..........................oh......... sweetie........... u dont even Know

interested how johnny will fit into that bc kreese was simping rly hard for johnny here. like i did not expect him to be so adamant to have him with cobra kai ... under his control, sure, but he really wants johnny by his side despite already having control of the dojo and how will terry silver self appointed jon kreeses forever simp going to feel abt that?

like bitchs dropping by every episode like ‘joooooohnny ..... come bacc to me joooonny......... this ur last warning! for real this time johnny! i wont say it again! watch me ! im leaving johnny! im rly leaving ! im dragging a chair” and johnny is just like. dont let the door hit ya bitch it was so funny pls

and on that subject oof, johnny! doesnt! Know! he doesnt get that side of daniels cobra kai trauma. and i kind of.............. cannot wait for ck 2021 johnny lawrence to meet terry silver like. what a shit show i need a front row seat and popcorn (imagine terry tries some greasy charm and johnny just roundhouse kicks him in the teeth bc he just doest Not Have the Patience for This. glorious)

feels like we, as a society, should acknowledge that cobra kai will never die................ bc their sense of design is just chefs kiss. their name is COBRA KAI. they have sexie sleeveless black gis. theyve sneks. colorful leather jackets with embroided naja insignia, the get ppl thru the aesthetics. evil geniuses

the flashback cuts : masterpiece behavior

the other takes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the differente angles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE CLOSE UP ON JOHNNYS FACE AT THE KICK

that scene of daniel and johnny vibing to 80s music in the car. just. oh my god. the fan wish fullfilment. no thoughts head empty.

the new characters! theyre .... good. but. idk. i really like miguel (save for the annoying phase mid s1 - end s2) and amanda, who is a damn riot and has some functioning braincells, but everyone else is

like dont get me wrong, i dont hate anyone,its not a jane and rafael from jtv situation, and i am interested and invested in their arcs, but i wouldnt say i like Like them, as in, personality wise

like, sams grappling with ptsd was rly gutting and i enjoyed that plus her slight rage issues,

which nicely parallel torys rage issues. torys background is all over the place tho so im pretty on the fence abt her so far

robby deserves better in every way, and i like how smart and cunning and surprisingly sweet he is

hawk............... is there i guess,

demetri is annoying in the best way possible,

carmen is sweet but. i just feel like her character is blunted to make the johnny relationship easier. like when shes furious with him after miguels injury but then forgives him like an episode later? and then convinces him to fight for the tournament bc she had a karate epiphany off screen even tho she was always against it? meh. feels like with the plot thiccening she was swallowed and now shes like a crutch for johnny mora than anything, which is disappointing.

aisha was cool and im kinda mad she wasnt in s3, especially bc a storyline with her tory and sam was like RIGHT THERE , but also... cant say i was super super fond of her... doesnt feel like we ever spent enough time on her

moon the bi icon,

overall its a good cast but the main draw for me remains the og cast

the tory/sam miguel/robby Thing. enjoy how theyre Narrative Foils and i like how their stories were so dramatically entangled but oh god give me a break with the teenage love square for the love of god. if u gonna put us through that at least have the decency to not make it so straight

and honestly some sam/tory miguel/robby romantic tension would even make more sense. just saying!

also im not sure how i feel abt the cobra kai: red miyagi do: blue theyre going with since some of daniels most iconic looks in tkk are also red. like it was a color they (johnny and him) sorta shared. i get it, opposite but complementary but idk... a little too fire nation and water tribe for me .

and like the cobra kai kids are so funny abt it bc their outifts grow progressively more ridiculously coordinated. its like do they group chat every morning before leaving their houses?

robby still sticks out like that tho. he went thru an athleisure/daniel san tsleeves phase and now hes back in the bandts grunge, but his color scheme doesnt fully blend with the other cobra kais. hmmmm.

LOVED LOVED LOVED both the okinawa episode and the cobra kais easy rider episode just such good good heart aching fun

bobby is an icon. he was in tkk and he is now ck hope appears more and more

tommy is like the most iconic background character. all his lines, freaking gold then and now. sigh :(

the framing in the okinawa trip was so good everything was so good

i stand by the fact that kumiko was the love interest daniel had the most chemistry with and shes is overall such a joy to watch, loved to see her again, idola, fashion icon

also tkk ii is good u guys are just mean

also really enjoyed chozens role in the episode, his evolution; i love that they introduced the pressure points (ty lee the blueprint) and! the honk + karate! cousins! absolutely iconic

when kumiko reads mr miyagis letters........ oh my god, my eyes FILLED with tears, it was so heart wrenching :(( tamlyns delivery was so emotional and lovely and its so obvious everyone involved in ck has so much love and respect for pat morita and mr miyagi as character, and i adore that it exists like this electric current through the show

when we were watching i told my sister i thought that ali would be miguels big shot surgeon and ngl i am so disappointed that didnt happen. hire me cobra kai writers

also the johnny ali daniel amanda chemistry? off the charts

AND the sassy retconning of daniel and alis breakup! LMAO ‘I HOPE U DIDNT TELL MR MIYAGI IT WAS MY FAULT’ HFDJJGNKFKSD

i am preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetty sure back injuries dont work like that but oke

daniel and johnny are so good together whenever, like they never actually help the kids or get shit done and end up fighting anyway but its just so much fun when theyre hanging

JOHNNY LAWRENCE AND DANIEL LARUSSO FIGHTING TOGETHER

daniels “plan” on how to get robby to juvie was so stupid. literally were u TRYING to make him hate you. dumbass

parents at those hearing rly brave for ppl that did not do ANYTHING as their kids got involved in a karate gang war until now

“bullshit i heard u were the real bully!” i mightve screeched

this s3 ending was SO DRAMATIC omg

everyone is such a MESS go to THERAPY u unhinged motherfckers

also im sorry but uh. a richass neighborhood in california doesnt have some type of neighborhood watch? the larussos rly dont have any security at all? neighbors wont hear the sound of a damn karate brawl happening next door??? also wasnt tory all like ooo i cant go to juvie, my mom yada yada yet shes always running around town getting into fights even at the rich girls house she was kicked out of school for fighting?? ? ?? ?? ? ? ? ?? ? ? girl??

stop destroying the larussos house, its so pretty :((((

sam finding her center looking at mr miyagis picture... uwu maybe

robby yelling ‘U ARE WEAAK’@ johnny \as he is easily blocking him is like.... so funny and so sad to me. sweetheart.

also i know it was meant as ‘oh johnny pushes him and HURTS HIM’ but it just looks like robby runs himself into the lockers and IM SO SORRY I FEEL SO BAD BUT IT WAS SO FUNNY

i like that he and tory are the cobra kai kids now. we need ppl we care abt there to not revert to a good vs evil schtick, and this is the most engaging it could be... tho it hurts that these kids cant catch a break

ah yes "lets bet some real shit on the result of this teen karate tournament bc that is always a great idea" is BACK

so daniel saves johnny from kreese..... maybe johnny will save him from terry 🧐

and dojos unite ohohoho. lets SEE how that’ll work out

miguels face of Despair when the ck defectors and the md kids are bickering like 'this is never gonna work' : gold

also. Johnny Lawrence is gonna learn some myiagi-do karate AHAAHSJAKDFH

ive been waiting for this moment all my lifeeee oh lawrd

final thoughts! there are def things i hope the writers will improve on the next season, but i am very excited for it either way AND i feel like it has made me enjoy the movies even more and that is a win for a reboot/sequel to me!!

#m.#did i procrastinate watching this since it came out and only watched it now bc my sister nagged me to when i said we should #watch karate kid over the holidays?#and then binged the whole thing in two days??#mayhaps and what abt it #cobra kai #the karate kid #its funn #y bc like karate kid is a Childhood movie but i wouldnt say #it was like particularly special for me?#like i wasnt in a fandom or anything #but now.#i might be invested #maybe #talvez

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thefactsofthematter · 3 years

Text

we’ve all lost our way before

a bittersweet, jack-and-medda-centred prequel to this fic i wrote last year. no one requested this, i just felt like pouring out some emotions, so if you’d like to Feel Things with me, be my guest! this can be read as a standalone fic as well, if you haven’t read the original.

read this on ao3 if you want!

javid (sort of); 2.3k; modern au; warning for drug abuse, addiction, and overdose.

Jack is nineteen when he overdoses for the first time.

The saddest part is that he sees it as a strange sort of victory. He's been playing with fire for four or five years now, but only just OD'd. No one— at least not anyone important to him— will know that he was hooked on drugs as a literal child... they'll think of this as a recent problem, that art school was the catalyst in turning him into a junkie. He thinks it might be less shameful this way.

Medda is there when he wakes up in the hospital. He knows exactly what's going on as soon as he comes to consciousness— the familiar ache in his joints tells him that a withdrawal is starting to hit, and the rhythmic beeping, in sync with his heartbeat, is enough to fill in the story of just what happened. He overdid it.

"Mama..." he groans, hardly able to open his eyes. He reaches weakly towards where he can see her sitting in a chair and typing on her phone, with a nervous scrunch to her eyebrows.

She looks up, and then she's there in an instant, right beside him to take his hand.

"Oh Jack..." she whispers, wrapping both her hands around one of his and squeezing. Her voice is wet, like she's been crying. "What've you done to yourself, baby?"

There's a lot he wants to say— that he's ruined his own life, and he's sorry, and he can't believe he's done this to her, and he probably should've just died from the overdose so she wouldn't have to deal with him anymore, and he's so so so sorry for everything. None of those words leave his mouth, though.

"I did something bad, didn't I?" he mumbles, feeling his fingers twitch between her hands, but not quite in control of the movement. The doctors must be medicating him somehow, because this isn't a normal comedown. Why is he so tired?

"You sure did," she sighs. She pauses and swallows, as if she's trying to figure out what to say. She finally shakes her head and continues. "You overdosed on heroin, Jack— I found you on the bathroom floor, and your lips and fingers were blue. I thought you were dead."

Jack feels a horrible, horrible little ball of shame start to twist in his gut. It's not regret, necessarily, but he feels bad that she had to see that. He feels bad that he scared her, and that he's making her deal with all this now. He's a horrible son.

"I'm sorry," he says, and his words shake and his fingers twitch again, the nervous jitter that comes with the drugs leaving his system. "I didn't mean to."

She closes her eyes for a second and then nods. He can tell she's trying to be empathetic, and that she's angry with him but she doesn't want to show him that.

"I know you didn't," she says. "I know, darling." She rubs her thumb in little circles on the back of his hand. "But did you even think for a second, when you decided to shoot up in there, that one of the boys could've found you?"

This is a point that she likes to drive home whenever he's in trouble. Jack is the oldest of four, and he needs to be responsible because his brothers look up to him. He was a teenager when she adopted him, and he knew that by joining the family, he was stepping up to be a role model for Crutchie, Race, and Albert. He'd been so honoured, and he really thought he could do it, at the time.

"No," he finally croaks, because of course he didn't consider it— he wasn't planning on overdosing. "I'm sorry."

The youngest, Albert, is only twelve— and even at that, he's awfully naive for his age. He probably doesn't even know what heroin is or what it can do, and now Medda's going to have to tell him that his brother almost died from it. Of course the boys are going to ask questions, and Jack knows Medda will answer them honestly. She's not a fan of keeping secrets.

"How long have you been doing this?" she asks, after a moment. She sounds so hurt, like the thought of Jack's addiction physically pains her. It makes him want to vomit. "The doctor said some of the needle marks on your arms look like they've been there for years. When did it start?"

Jack can't bring himself to answer. It's too embarrassing.

He was such a stupid, gullible fourteen year-old that he let the older boys in his last foster home before Medda's place do this to him— it was a group home where they were horribly abused in every way you can possibly think of, and everyone was searching for a way to cope. They told him drugs would make everything better, and they held his arm still while they injected him with the tiniest amount of heroin, and suddenly he wasn't scared or in pain anymore. He couldn't feel anything. It was the best he's ever felt, and he knew right then that this was going to become a problem. His parents had been addicts, he knew it ran in his blood, but he let himself fall into the trap anyways. It's horrible.

"I want to go to sleep now," is all he says, purposefully avoiding the question. His eyes feel droopy and heavy, and the ache of the withdrawal is growing stronger, and he knows that if he doesn't sleep now it'll only get worse.

"Please, Jack," Medda whispers, not giving it up. She's squeezing his hand almost desperately. "How long?"

He lets his eyes fall shut and weakly attempts to wrench his hand away from hers.

"I'm tired, Mama."

A heavy sigh.

"Okay."

She lets go of his hand and moves instead to pet his hair, even as he turns his face away from her and tries to roll onto his side in a pitiful attempt to show that he wants to be left alone. She hums softly as she does so, and it makes Jack's chest feel tight like he's going to cry. He finally has a mother who loves him, after all these years of wishing for one, and all he can do is disappoint her.

Medda is on the phone the next time he's awake.

"Did you know he was abusing drugs, David?" she asks, and her tone is almost accusatory, like she thinks Davey had something to do with this. "He overdosed on heroin last night."

Davey must panic on the other end of the call, because her tone suddenly goes much softer.

"No, no, he's okay. He's in the hospital, but he'll be alright." She pauses and sighs. "The doctor said it looks like he's been using for a couple years, at least. You didn't know?"

Jack decides not to open his eyes just yet— he's nauseous and his stomach aches. He's sure that if he were to force himself to vomit it might alleviate it somewhat, but he wants to hear what Medda and Davey might talk about, so he just doesn't move.

"Okay," Medda sighs. "I understand. I had no idea either— it's scary how well he hid it. He overdosed in the bathroom at home; he must've been using drugs in the house this whole time, and I never caught on."

Jack's awfully ashamed of that bit. He didn't used to do it at home— he only did it on occasion when he was younger, and he'd save it for when he was with friends, or if he had a really bad day. It's just the past few months that have gotten so bad... he can't go a day without it anymore. He gets dope sick, craves his next dose until he can finally shoot up, and it doesn't even really get him high. He needs heroin to feel normal these days. He's been at home, around his little brothers, with that god-awful drug coursing through his body. He hates himself so, so deeply for that.

He needs help. He knows he needs help. But he somehow doesn't want it— he knows it won't work. He'll end up checking himself out of rehab, or wherever Medda tries to send him, and he'll go right back to the drugs. Being sober is hard, and being high is easy. He likes that easy, relaxed feeling, and he knows that any amount of time he spends sober will just make the next high feel even better.

"I'm going to try to get him straight from the hospital into rehab," Medda says on the phone, which makes Jack feel horrible that he's already planning on refusing that idea. "You've got school, sweetheart, this isn't your responsibility. Come by for a visit if you'd like, but don't get to thinking you have to look after him or anything... oh, I know you love him. I know, dear. But you have to put yourself first, alright?"

Jack doesn't like listening to this anymore. Medda's going to convince Davey to break up with him, isn't she? She doesn't think Jack deserves to have a boyfriend as lovely as Davey, since he's such a disappointment— she's right, but it makes his chest ache anyways.

"Mama," he groans, finally letting her know he's awake. He feels like a helpless little kid as he reaches out for her yet again. "I feel sick. I'm gonna puke."

The light hurts his eyes as he opens them, and he barely registers Medda pressing a little paper bowl into his hands for him to vomit into. He leans forward and gags into it, squeezing his eyes shut to block out the sunlight while she rubs a hand gently up and down his back.

"I'll let you go, Davey," she sighs into the phone. "Text me when you get here, alright?"

Jack tries to ask if that means Davey is coming to see him, but it comes out a little garbled when he realizes he's not done throwing up. He interrupts himself to shove his face back in the little bowl and heave yet again. It takes until he's finished puking to realize that he began to cry somewhere in the middle of it, hot tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Mama, I'm so sorry," he finally says, once he's sure it's over. He leans his head back against the pillows and finally says the words he's been dreading. "I... If you don't want me anymore, I understand. It's okay."

This must catch Medda off-guard, because it takes her a second to process it. She's perfectly calm as she takes the little bowl from him and sets it somewhere for a nurse to take away, but then she turns back around to him with a confused frown.

"Hang on, what?" she asks. "Jack, baby, what are you talking about? Where did you get that idea from?"

Truthfully, the thought hasn't fully left his mind since the day they signed the adoption papers, a little over two years ago. He's always figured that she'd get sick of him at some point— he's even looked into how an adoption can be annulled, so that he's prepared for when the day eventually comes. She'll realize he's not worth all the trouble he causes, she'll see how messed up he is, and she'll get rid of him for good.

"I ruined everything," he mumbles, not quite able to look her in the eyes. He wipes pitifully at the tears on his cheeks and forces himself to keep talking. "If you want to, like, cancel out the adoption... that's alright. It's not fair that you have to deal with me when I'm so awful."

She's silent for a second, and Jack is sure that this is it. She'll undo the adoption, kick him out of the family, and he'll be all on his own again. He doesn't want that, of course, but he understands why she would do it.

"John Francis Kelly," she finally says, and she comes over to the bed to cup his cheeks and hold onto his face. "Look at me. Nothing you could ever say or do could make me even consider that. Not in a million years. Do you hear me? Nothing could ever, ever make me stop loving you."

This is where Jack finally breaks. She's too good to him— he can't understand what he's done in his fucked-up life to deserve to meet someone like her. He's done nothing to earn her love, but she gives it to him unconditionally anyways, and he simply can't comprehend it. He sobs, leaning forward into her arms; she hugs him tight and just holds him there.

"You're my son, Jack," she whispers, as his head rests in the crook of her neck and she rocks him back and forth. "Okay? It doesn't matter that I've only had you for a few years... that doesn't make it any less real. No matter how many mistakes you make— no matter what you do or where you are, I'll always be your mother. You're not getting rid of me." She gently combs her fingers through the hair at the back of his neck. "You got yourself into a tough spot, but we'll get you out, baby. You're gonna be okay."

"I'm sorry," Jack sobs, as if he hasn't said it enough today. "I didn't mean for this to happen."

"I know," Medda replies. "I know, baby. You made some mistakes, but it's not the end of the world. We're gonna fix it together, alright?"

Jack can do nothing more than cry at this point, so Medda just rubs his back and pets his hair. She shushes him softly, as if she's soothing an infant, and he simply clings onto her for dear life. He doesn't deserve how wonderful she is.

#my writing #jack kelly #medda larkin #davey jacobs #javid #newsies fic #if you read it on ao3 the end notes are about what happens between this and the og fic #please rb!! it helps people see it!

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justwritethatdown · 4 years

Text

Bechloe Week 2020 – Day3: Drunk Texts

We were bound to be together

An au where Beca didn't get together with Jesse and that allowed her relationship with Chloe to grow.

The way Pitch Perfect 1 should have gone ;)

Set during Beca’s first two years at Barden; everything goes as it should, nothing angsty happens and everyone is happy. Just a sloppy falling-in-love story between two college girls, told through their drunk texts, kind of...

Rating: T

Words Count: 2.5K

Thanks to @viharistenno for being my beta

Read here or on AO3

She took my arm, I don’t know how it happened

After Hood Night, Beca was lying on her bed; the weird buzzing in her brain caused by alcohol made it hard for her to fall asleep. She wasn’t used to drinking and partying with strangers until late night, but she had to admit it wasn’t the worst thing she’d done. That Jesse seemed nice after all, a little pushy maybe, but Beca knew she needed a push sometimes, maybe she should give him a chance-

Her phone buzzed on the nightstand

CHLOE BEALE: Im so glad that I met you xx

BECA: Yeah, you kinda mentioned that…

Beca bit her bottom lip and a bright smile formed on her face. There was something about Chloe, that didn’t make Beca want to push her away. On the contrary, it was rather a pull, that made Beca want to get closer to her.

She placed the phone on her stomach, letting out a heavy sigh, smile still present on her lips. Beca couldn’t believe she actually auditioned for an acapella singing group, just because a crazy – naked – girl told her to, after crushing her shower and forcing her to sing with her; it was a situation that normally would have made her run for the hills and yet, she went to the audition – and she got in – and to the following party. Beca didn’t even know how that happened, Chloe had dragged her into this whole new world, and she was kinda okay with that.

It confused Beca; for the first time her instinct didn’t tell her to push this person away, it told her to get to know her better, to become her friend, but most of all Beca wanted Chloe to like her, she wanted to impress her. She checked her phone to see if Chloe had texted her anything else, but there were no new messages, so she let out another sigh – a disappointed one this time – and put the phone away.

Maybe Chloe was still with shower guy, they seemed to be pretty close at the party. Her stomach twisted and Beca huffed again; the way Chloe had grabbed her arms and how close she got to her while talking, gave her some vibes, for a moment she’d thought that the redhead was flirting with her – a thought she wasn’t completely opposed to – but then she saw her with that guy while she was busy talking to Jesse, and kicked herself for being so delusional, she was well aware they were having sex in the sowers, they were obviously together.

Beca shook her head and rolled her eyes to herself, turning to her side to try to sleep.

I felt it in my chest as she looked at me

CHLOE: Admit you had fun tonight! :P

Beca was a bit more tipsy than usual – okay, let’s say she was drunk – but it wasn’t her fault; Amy arrived there with the clear internet of getting the brunette drunk that night. She dumbly smiled at her phone and almost gave in, but then she remembered their bet.

“I don’t know why I let you drag me to this stupid party” she spat out when they arrived at the ΣΒΘ frat house.

“Come on, I bet you’re going to have fun” cheered Chloe making Beca roll her eyes.

“I doubt it” stated the brunette.

“We’re here bitches!” screamed Amy going straight for the alcohol table, followed by Stacie.

When her head started to spin, Beca realized that maybe she’d let Amy fix her one drink too much, but she didn’t care, not when Chloe was leaning in so close to whisper things in her ear – shout actually, to be heard over the loud music – and had one arm wrapped around Beca’s shoulders; the weight of Chloe on her felt amazing and the way Chloe looked at her made her heart do funny things in her chest.

Beca definitely blamed it on the alcohol, but deep inside she knew it was the same feeling she had the first time they met at the activities fair; that smile Chloe gave her and those blue eyes, so deep that Beca felt like she was drowning in them, knocked all the air out of her lungs and she felt her heart racing.

Even if she did run away that time, Beca just couldn’t stop thinking about her, until that girl jumped in her shower, making Beca incredibly frustrated and embarrassed. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t help but looking – more than once – at the girl’s naked body and her mind wandered without her permission. Chloe was undeniably beautiful, and her confidence made her even hotter.

Beca should have known then that she was gone, but – always oblivious to her own feelings – it took her several weeks of parties and rehearsals to know that she had, in fact, fallen head over hills for the redhead.

Suddenly Beca felt Chloe stepping away from her and saw the girl launching herself into Tom’s arms. The brunette found herself downing the remains of her drink and accepting a new one from Amy. The rest of the night is still a blur, she vaguely remembered Jesse helping her through her dorm room door and saying good night, at which she believed she grunted before the guy closed the door behind him.

Beca frowned at the memory and looked back at her phone; there was a new message on the screen

CHLOE: you disappeared tho. Stacie said you left w Jesse :(

BEC: yoy wr wit Tom

CHLOE: I told you I was going to say hi and when I came back you were gone >.<

BEC: are u tofether?

CHLOE: No, I’m alone

BEC: no I mwan ar you datingm

BEC: ?

Chloe started typing and deleting and Beca started to freak out; she’d known this girl for less than a year, she saw her with Tom from day one, she had no right whatsoever to be upset about them dating, even if Chloe had been sending her mixed signals from the start and was annoyingly touchy and loving and not-so-unintentionally made Beca’s head spin more than alcohol did

CHLOE: No, he’s not my boyfriend. We used to be fwb but I ended it a while ago because I started to like someone… :)<3

Just keep your eyes on me

The following day Beca felt like shit; her head hurt, and she felt nauseous, that’s why she was immensely grateful to Chloe for dragging her to that stupid party the night before their special rehearsal’s session.

“Remind me to kill you when this is over” she lamented when Chloe greeted her with her usual bright smile – the girl clearly didn’t drink as much as Beca did the night before – and a quick hug

“Can’t wait” winked the redhead, making Beca’s blood boil in her veins.

Chloe really looked amazing that morning and was clearly making an effort to be noticed by the brunette; she managed to make even that idiotic hostess choreography look beautiful. It wasn’t just the dancing, Beca found every movement Chloe made incredibly sexy, maybe because of that half confession she had made the night before, or maybe because Beca knew Chloe was doing it on purpose; she knew it because Chloe basically never dropped her eye contact with Beca, almost like she was trying to cast a spell on her, and maybe she did.

“You’re on a mission today huh?” Beca hushed to her during a break

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” answered Chloe wearing a shit eating grin

“Well, better for me then, I’m enjoying the show” she shot back without thinking too much about it and regretting it right away, but the fire it lit in Chloe’s eyes told her she’d said just the right thing.

“What’s with all this eye fucking?” suddenly spat out Amy, making the room giggle. Except for Beca who became bright red, and Aubrey who cleared her throat glaring at Chloe, who innocently smiled biting her lip.

“Did you finally hook up or something?” asked Stacie in amusement

“Can we focus on the damn choreography?” asked Aubrey grinding her teeth.

Deep in her eyes, I think I see the future

Beca’s plan was simple: to go to college for one year, convince her dad that she tried and have him send her to Los Angeles the following year to finally start working towards her dream of producing music. However, something along the way went incredibly wrong, or rather incredibly right, and now all she wanted was to stay there with those nerds who somehow became her family.

The look on Chloe’s face when they won the finals made Beca realize that her future wasn’t in LA, her future was right there with those girls, with Chloe. In that moment Beca felt like she belonged there; she saw her next few years at Barden, with the Bellas, and in the hug they shared, Beca felt that Chloe would be part of her life forever.

The girls celebrated in the Bellas’ sorority house and they all, even Aubrey, got incredibly wasted. Most of the girls had already moved there from their dorms and wouldn’t have to go anywhere after their party.

During the night Chloe made sure to let Beca know, more than once, how sad she was that the brunette had decided to really leave for Los Angeles in the end, instead of moving in with her, and she never left her side the whole night. They drank together and laughed and danced, and they almost kissed, but Chloe pulled away last minute confusing Beca. When Beca asked her why, Chloe mumbled with watery eyes “you’re leaving, what’s the point?”, but immediately cleared her throat and dragged Beca to dance with the others. In her inebriated state, the music and Chloe’s body moving rhythmically against hers, were enough to distract Beca from that statement. Only later, walking back to her dorm, it carved its way back into her mind.

BEC ♡: I not gng to LA

CHLO: ???

BEC ♡: im stang heee

Chloe’s reply was a string of emojis Beca was too drunk to interpret followed by

CHLO: yoy styng w the bellassssss

BEC ♡: im staying fr you

CHLO: were gnna be cocaptnsss!!!

This woman is my destiny

Beca’s second year at Barden started out completely differently from her first one; she was living in a sorority house along with eight other girls and was co-captain of the acapella group she led to victory the year before.

Her relationship with Chloe evolved in a strange way; they acted like a married couple now, but they never crossed the line, both too scared of ruining what they had. With Aubrey gone, the Bellas were their responsibility and Beca knew that was what mattered the most to Chloe, so she chose to focus on their acapella group. For Chloe, not because she was scared of fucking things up, obviously.

Their mutual pinning was clear to all their friends; some of them – Amy – teased them about it, while others desperately tried to help them figure it out.

One night, during one of their let’s-get-drunk-because-why-not nights, they were playing truth or dare

“Beca” started Stacie “truth or dare?” she asked with a wicked smile, making Beca sweat

“Truth…” tentatively answered the brunette

“Do you have more than platonic feelings for anyone in this room?” asked Stacie raising an eyebrow. Chloe held her breath at that and Beca was the only one to miss it, too occupied freaking out

“Dare” blurted out Beca “dare, I meant dare!” Beca’s heart started beating dangerously fast, hoping that Stacie would have let her change her reply, but the girl’s eyes twinkled and Beca knew she’d fallen right into her trap.

“I dare you… to kiss the girl you have the biggest toner in the world for and release us all from this ridiculous sexual tension you two generate” commanded the tall girl rolling her eyes.

Beca felt all the air leave her lungs. Everything was silent around her and all she could hear was the uneven beating of her heart. She swallowed hard looking at Chloe to see what her reaction had been and the girl’s hesitant smile calmed Beca a little.

Beca wasn’t one to back down from a challenge and the alcohol in her system only made her more competitive, but most of all, there was nothing in the world she wanted more than to finally kiss Chloe, so she crossed the circle they were sitting in to reach the redhead on the other side of it. Chloe was biting her bottom lip in anticipation and Beca could see in her eyes that the girl wanted to kiss her just as much as she did.

Beca gently rested her palm on Chloe’s cheek. They didn’t speak, but they didn’t need words to communicate; their eyes were saying all they needed to say. They expressed how much they both wanted to do this, but only if the other was okay with that, and that it was going to be okay. They completely forgot they weren’t alone.

Beca leaned in and kissed her, Chloe wrapped her arms around Beca’s neck and pulled her closer, letting out a sigh that made Beca’s heart flutter. They stayed there, kneeling in the middle of the living room, kissing slowly and deeply, their lips moved together as if they were dancing. Beca wasn’t sure who deepened the kiss, but as soon as their tongues touched, a million fireworks went off in her brain, covering the sound of their friends whooping and clapping and wolf whistling – Amy – and making her forget her own name.

Beca couldn’t have enough of Chloe’s lips. When the kiss ended and Chloe tried to move away, Beca desperately chased her mouth and started kissing her again, gaining a chuckle from the redhead. The two girls were only separated by Amy accidently bathing them in tequila while waving a bottle in the air, shouting that they had to drink to that.

After two – or was it three? – Bhloe drinks, as Amy had named them, Beca was still snuggled up next to Chloe. They shared some quick kisses during the rest of the night and when they decided to go wrap it up, Beca really wasn’t ready to sleep. All she wanted to do was kiss Chloe all night long and the morning after, and for the rest of her life. When Chloe pulled her in for another kiss, she was happy to welcome Chloe’s tongue in her mouth again

“Good night, baby” whispered Chloe against her lips before leaving.

Beca was lying awake in her bed; she could still feel the ghost of Chloe’s lips lingering on hers. She took her phone and started typing.

BEC ♡: I lied at trth o dre I dont have a tner for you

CHLO: Bec…

*CHLO IS TYPING*

BEC ♡: Im crazy abt yoy! youre my destiny

BEC ♡: you’re

CHLO: you jst gve me a heartattack yoi asshole1

BEC ♡: srry xD

CHLO: wnna cme here to sleep w me?

BEC ♡: we r drnk…

CHLO: I jut wanna slp

BEC ♡: Any wll tease th shit out of us

CHLO: I don’t care

CHLO: I miss u

Beca didn’t really use much her bed in the Bellas’ house.

#bechloe #bechloeweek #Bechloe week 2020 #beca mitchell #chloe beale #pitch perfect

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hidden-behind-the-fourth-wall · 4 years

Text

The PA - part 3/3

Pairing: Tony Stark x named!Reader

Summary: You have had neough of Tony Stark and his arrogant, selfish ass. So you leave... At least for a while.

Warnings: Swearing (a lot), angst, fluff.

A/N: Ok, this a hostirical date for me, as this is my FIRST EVER story I finished. I know it was a short one, but I am still proud. There is a lot going on in this chapter and I thought of ending it differently but here you go. I hope you all liked it <3

Comments and opinions are always welcomed :*

Words: 6000+ (ooops)

nothing really changed. You were hidden in your office doing everything your boss needed without the need to ask. You sent him everything via email and cared for his health fr the shadow. A cooked dinner and bottles of water were always waiting for him. Adding a hot chocolate for the night. Nothing changed. And yet everything did.

Those hot chocolates you used to make were now drunk alone. There was no billionaire to join you in it with his sarcastic and fun comments. There were no back massage that you enjoyed giving almost as much as he receiving. And what's more, there were no parties for you. You couldn't bear to see him dancing, kissing and flirting with went. You knew you were pathetic. You loved the man who would never see you as more than just a worker and a "kid".

Who were you kidding. You had nothing on the women he was 'seeing'. All those pretty little things with perfect bodies and probably experienced enough to keep him entertained for a whole night.

You swallowed and shook your head to get that image out of it. You were tired. There wasn't more work per se but it exhausted you mentally to always try to omit him. You missed him his face, the smile and cheeky comments. But you couldn't do it to your heart. A heart that has already been broken so many times by the same man.

You looked up when a ping when an email showed up. To your personal email. Your heart skipped a beat and eyes widened their twice size, when you noticed the sender.

"What the fuck?" You whispered and turned around hearing a gasp. You met with a smiling Romanoff, leaving on the edge of the doors.

"This is the first time I heard you swear" She said teasingly. "What got you so worked up?"

You moved away from the laptop for her to see. She read through the email carefully and she looked at you with the biggest softness and pride anyone has ever showed you.

"This is amazing. A damn MIT wants you to work with them. This is huge, honey!" You bit your lip and looked away. "But for some unknown reasons you don't look happy."

"It's just an interview, it doesn't mean I will get the job, and… " You looked away, a shame of even thinking about it in the moment like that.

"And you would have to leave Tony… " You closed your eyes, hating how she was able to just understand you without words. A damn Russian spy stuff. "He's an adult… you'll just find him a new assistant. Or a babysitter, I'm never sure what your official position actually is." You giggled at her playfulness and rolled your eyes at her.

"I have been working for him for so long… I can't just leave him alone." You looked away when she frowned and sighed. Of the 'Disappointed Natasha Romanoff' comes to action.

"What about you? When will you finally take care of yourself?" Her stern tone made you flinch and start to nervously play with the hem of your Iron Maiden shirt. "You had dreams, and I sure know you have hobbies. You're still young, but act like a 60 years old woman, for God's sake." You clenched your fingers and shut your eyes, to stop the tears from falling. She was angry and that was the first time you noticed this. What was worse she was disappointed at you, and that hurt you more than anything.

Natasha Romanoff was like an older sister for you. You learned to love her and you felt her love towards you, despite the fact that she showed it differently to other people. She was there for you and knew about your hidden feelings to Stark. She always supported you and told you how everything will be fine. She understood your shyness and tried to work through your low self esteem. She was always patient with you. Until now. You guessed, everyone had their limit, and ger has just ended.

"You stay here, hidden in this cave. Running away from your feelings. You are afraid to do anything. You got so used to being his assistant that you are afraid of being alone. And your pinning to Tony? I hoped you'd understand that int hat party. He isn't a relationship type of guy and you're not a one night stand type of girl. Your love for him? Stop going for something you can't have!" You lowered your head to hide the tears that started to fall. You clenched your fingers on your thigh so hard that you could feel how your nails climbed into your clothes. But it didn't bother you. The physical was not even close to your mental one. It was one thing to make yourself believe that this love you had would never happen, but when someone else said it to you. It made it real. "Stop living in a dream world and wake up, before it's too late! " She hissed and stormed out of your lablab. And this was when everything you hidden so deep inside you, went out to the light. You asked Jarvis to lock the doors to your lab and you screamed and cried until you had no more tears.

"Weren't you a bit too harsh?" She looked at Bucky who was leaning on the wall, near the elevator.

"She needed that." Barnes scoffed and followed the redhead. "She's was about to turn down her dream job for him." Bucky frowned and sighed. "She loves him and all he does is hurt her. It isn't his fault really. He doesn't know, doesn't understand. Stark isn't the type of person that would be able to see true love. This is why she needs to let go. Live her own life. And if getting her dream job and leaving him would make it happen than she needs to. " Barnes smiled sadly. Nat really cared about you. Hse loved you like you were her little sister and he found it charming. But he did feel bad for you. You fell in love with a wrong guy. A very decent human, but a dumb man.

You looked at you clothes and sighed. It wasn't you. You didn't dress like that. A pencil skirt and a white shirt. You felt uncomfortable and stupid. You flinched when you put the heels on and sighed. Well it was a job interview. You needed to look presentable. You took your bag with everything you needed in it and took a deep breath. Yes, it was just an interview. Not like you'd get that job. There were hundreds applicants will were probably better than you. But after Nat you decided to give it a try. You didn't speak to her, and if you were being honest, you didn't speak to anyone. No one new about your bid day, not even Tony. He didn't need to know. It was only an interview. The first step of it. Not like you were leaving him just yet.

And so you walked to the elevators and dl being deep down in your thoughts you didn't notice Tony waiting for the elevator, just as you walked out.

"To… Mr. Stark… " You whispered, when you almost walked into him. He looked you over and frowned.

"A hot date?" He asked. You knew he tried to joke but there was something in his tone that made you wonder it he was really kidding.

"I…" You clenched your bag and bit your bottom lip nervously. "I will be back soon." He raised his brow and nodded, not saying anything else walked into the elevator, leaving you standing there. This did not help your anxiety at all. You tried to relax and went to your already waiting Uber.

"She has a what now?" Tony shouted looking at Natasha with anger in his eyes. "She never told me! "

"It was hard to tell you when you both omitted Yourselves… " She answered with a roll to her eyes. "MIT if I remember right." His eyes widelec, remembering how much you always wanted to work there. A job interview. You went to a job interview without telling him.

"Well good for her." He shrugged, turning around to miss the way the woman rolled her eyes. "What should I do? Isn't it like breaking some kind of contract? Going to a job interview still working for me?"

"Don't be petty, Tony." She warned him and he scoffed.

"I thought she would at least tell me. You know for references… "

"She wasn't sure she'd get the job. Not to mention the fact I needed to force her to go." He frowned and she rolled her eyes. Men were really stupid. "Talk to her, Tony. But like a proper human being. An adult." She patted him on the shoulder and left the room, leaving him alone.

You sighed and sat at your desk, feeling more than tired. The whole interview was exhausted, and you weren’t sure if most of those questions were even appropriate. ‘How close are you with Mr Stark?’ ‘Do you believe Mr Stark would be up to donating money for our cause?’ And more inappropriate and too personal questions for your liking. You were happy when the rector finally showed up. It was when you shined the most. Talking about your PhD project, the possible prospects of it and your father ideas. Even Though he asked you about Stark, those questions were thoughtful.

“He has his reputation”, he chuckled softly and you nodded unable to disagree. “Not many people would leave a safe, warm, probably well-paid job, to come work with us.” He took off his glasses and looked at you. “Is there something I should know? The reason for your application with us?”

“I was right after Uni, when Mr Stark gave me that job.” You answered quietly, feeling a weird shame for even being here. “It was a great opportunity for me to grow, but I want to be a scientist, not a PA.” You smiled and looked him in the eyes. “Don’t get me wrong. Working with Mr Stark was a privilege and I was able to learn so much from him, but it’s time for me to make my own projects.” Visibly satisfied with your answer he put his glasses back on and looked at your CV.

“How about you tell us more about that idea you had?”

You closed your eyes and sighed. You felt good after the whole discussion, but it still felt like you would not get the job. Not to mention, that you would probably have to talk to Tony about your references. You whined and lay on your desk.

“Are you alright, Miss?” Jarvis’ voice was filled with concern, after registering your annoyed noises.

“Not really. I think I have an existential crisis.” You chuckled to yourself, at how stupid that sounded.

“Anything I can help you with?” You smiled at his thoughtfulness.

“Is there some kind of algorithm that would help me choose between what my heart and my brain tell me?” There was a silence for a moment after Jarvis turned on your computer showing you multiple web pages opened.

“I’m afraid there is no algorithm, but there some sociological and psychological studies regarding the issue.” You sat up and laughed out loud at this. “But Mr Stark always considered social sciences an, let me quote, “utter bullshit”, so I am not sure if they would help you.

‘Thank you Jarvis, you’re the best!” You quipped looking through the pages.

“I’ve been told!”

“I know that, she worked for me for some time now.” He murmured through the phone. He expected the call for references, but not so soon. He was sure to hear you just come back.

“This is a huge deal. We have never hired someone so young and with so little experience before.” The rector sighed on the other side of the phone. “I need to know if she will work out.” Tony frowned and looked through the window. He had Nat’s voice in his head telling him to be an adult, to not be selfish. But he can’t. He cannot lose you. You were the best and brightest thing in his life now. WIthout you he would be lost. As an Iron Man, and as Tony Stark. So he did something selfish, already hating himself for it.

“She’s a good PA. That’s all I can say.” It was harsh, and was definitely burying your chances. He knew you were more than that. He saw you in his lab, repairing his armour, or adding comments to his plans. You were more than a secretary. You were a genius. The best possible person for this job. But he was petty. He was once again acting like a kid. He heard the rectors deep sigh and he understood, that he just fucked up. Your career, your life. And the solemn idea of you finding out about it, was killing him.

“I understand confidentiality is still a thing up there?” He asked and could hear the man chuckle.

“Don’t worry, Tony.” He turned the phone off and threw it across the room, watching it crack on the wall. He fucked up. Badly.

“I see!” You tried to keep your voice as steady as possible, despite the tears appearing in your eyes. “No, no I understand, of course.” The strings of thanks and apologies were thrown and you bit your lip, hoping to end the call ASAP. “Yes, I will!” You lied, when the rector told you to keep on trying. You ended the call and let the tears flow.

It was stupid really. You knew deep down, that you wouldn’t get the job and yet. Yet it still hurt to know you weren’t enough. You wanted to climb the highest of mountains so it should not have surprised you to fall.

“What’s wrong?” You wiped your tears and put your phone away.

“Nothing, Natasha, everything is under control.” You stated, your voice only a bit shaky. You didn’t turn to welcome her. You opened your laptop and started to work.

“Did you go?” She asked, and you rolled your eyes. Can’t you just be left alone?

“Yes” short answers, hoping for her to understand you didn’t want to talk. Especially not with her. Not with the person that pushed you to go. “I’m sorry Natasha, I have lots of work to do.” The woman raised her brows and sighed.

“What happened?”

“I’m just a PA.” You answered after a moment of awkwards silence. “Without much of experience in the field. I’m nothing more than Stark’s PA, who happened to finish MIT.” You shrugged your shoulders and sighed. The tears were back and the screen was starting to get blurry. “At least I don’t have to choose anymore!” You chuckled through the sobs and hid your face in your hands. “I’m sorry. Can you… I did what you told me to. I went and I failed, please can you leave me alone? One time in my damn life I thought I am worth more than I truly am! And I knew that, but then you …!” You got up and looked her in her beautiful eyes. “Do you know why I always hide in that fucking shell of mine, you seem to have such a problem with!?” Widow’s eyes widened at your use of language. She never seen you like that. Never heard you speak so that. That little, quiet mice seemed to have enough. “Because my life taught me, that I will never be more than I am. I was never enough for anyone. My parents, people at school and Uni, my professors, and him… I learned to live with the fact that I am nothing more than a loser, unwanted by anyone. But then you had to make me go and…”

“I’m sorry.” She pulled you for a huge and kissed you at the top of your head. “I just wanted to help. I wanted to see you happy. See you live your own life. I’m sorry, sweety.” She cooed you and you couldn’t help but hug her back, repeating words of apologise into her neck.

He closed his eyes hearing your cries. Your tone, the raised voice. He wondered how long were you keeping those feelings inside. It broke his stoned heart to see you, hear you like that, only to know that he was the reason for this. You blamed Nat for it, only because you didn’t know how awful he was. He took a deep breath, and deciding to leave you be, he came back to him room. Hoping Romanoff would help you.

“What’s wrong, kiddos?” He announced looking at the Avengers assembling in the kitchen.

“Please stop saying that. There are at least three people here who are older than you.” Clint sighed, playing with his chips.

“What’s up with Lex?” Steve asked with his Captain America voice, glancing at Stark, his guts telling him, the billionaire had something to do with it.

“What do you mean?” He asked, playing stupid. It has been two weeks since the MIT call and Tony hasn’t seen you. He wasn’t sure if you were ignoring him even more than after the Christmas party, or you were just that busy. You did work. Yes, definitely did work. Everything went more smoothly than ever. He noticed because he had more free time. And if he was being honest, he was starting to get bored.

“I haven’t seen her since the party. I thought it was die to the New Year party workload, but then she seemed to disappear even more.”

“Yeah not to mention that I actually miss that big smile on her face, when she sees her favorite Avenger. “Sam chimed in, making Bucky and Nat roll their eyes. “But seriously, should we worry?” Everyone looked at Stark who sighed deeply, taking his cup of coffee with him.

“I’ll talk to her, kids. No worries, daddy will take care of it.”

“I really hate when he says that!” He chuckled, hearing Steve’s disgust in tone.

“So she lives!” You jumped at his voice, behind you. It was a middle of the night and you truly hoped he would be sleeping already. Or at least at his room. “Are you making the magical chocolate?”

“Magical chocolate?” You raised your brow at him and he smiled, shrugging his shoulder.

“I never had a better massage than during that hot chocolate night meeting last time.” you blushed and looked away, hearing him chuckle. “Any leftovers?” You nodded and prepared him a cup, pouring the mixture into it, and adding the marshmallows. She put it in front of him and was about to leave, when his fingers circled at your wrists, stopping you. “Sit with me, please.” You bit your lip nervously and obeyed taking the sit opposite. As far as possible. “I have something to tell you and you have to promise me you will listen to everything before you slap me and slap the doors behind you.” You frowned and looked at him. Your heart broken a bit, when you noticed the face he made. He looked like a kicked puppy. Like a little kid that knew he messed up.

“Mr Stark, I don’t…”

“Please… They worry about you. I worry about you. Since that damn stupid Christmas party everything went to hell. I fucked up, you saw it and…

“Listen. When you started working for me I made it clear fuck complete of a mess I was, right?” You raised your brow but nodded, even a small smile appearing on your lips. “I am a messed up person. A guy in his…” He coughed awkwardly. “Well my age doesn't matter here.” You bit your lip not to laugh, which made him smile. “I always got what I wanted. A spoiled, stupid kid, with more money and looks than brain.

“I still don’t know what you see in me.” He smiled at you softly. “I am not stupid, kid. I see the way you look at me. I do. And it flattens me. You are this genuine girl, with kind heart, smart and beautiful in and out and… You are too innocent for me to break you. I am not someone you should fall in love with. Someone who should be your first boyfriend. Your first love in life.”

“Forgive me, but I think I should have a right to decide who I fall in love with…” You bit your lip nervously, staring at the table. You missed the way he smiled softly at that. His look softened and he sighed.

“Of course. But this… This is not the reason why I needed to talk to you…” You nodded, giving him a go to continue. “How was your interview at MIT?” You stiffened and looked at him with big eyes.

“Natasha told you?”

“The rector called.” You swallowed and frowned. “For references…” Something in his tone made you realise where this was going and you felt your heart beat fasten. “I… I’m sorry kid. I-I couldn’t let you go. I needed you. I… fuck I didn’t want to live in a life where you wouldn’t be there to help me. Be there for me and…”

“What did you say, Tony?” If the situation was different he would enjoy the fact that you said his name, but not now, not with the seriousness behind it.

“I said you were a good PA.” The pain in your eyes broke his heart. You opened your eyes to say something, but couldn’t. All this made sense now. The good interview and an awful ending. “Listen… I know you may hate me now…”

“Is this all that I am?” You asked and frowned. “Is this really what you think of me? A good PA?” There was a silence between the two of you. A painful one. For both him and you.

“Of course not. You are so much more.” He tried to hold onto your hand, but you backed away. “You are so smart and incredibly talented. You can do so much more than just this job. I…

“I was afraid that you would leave and I would be alone. And this scared the shit out of me.I can’t imagine you not being here. Not being able to…”

“I quit.” His heart stopped at your proclamation. You stood up, still looking down at the table. Your hands starting to shake with anger, your heart beat fastened and you felt like you were about to cry. “I can’t… You crossed that line…”

“What line?” He asked, looking at you, hoping that whatever you just said was a stupid slip off. “I apologised, damn it!”

“And, what? Everything should be fine now? Because you apologised!?” You shouted, staring at him with your angry expression. “For so many years I hid my anger towards you. I hid it, because I loved you more than I was angry at you.” His eyes widened. He expected your feelings, but hearing them was a totally different aspect. “But this? You ruined my future, my dreams because you are a selfish bastard!” You pushed your hands away from him to make sure you wouldn’t punch him.

“I told you I was afraid…”

“Yes!” You shouted, tears streaming down your cheeks. “You were afraid. You didn’t stop for a second to even consider how I was feeling. You knew… I told you so many times before about my dreams. About my insecurities about them, and yet you used them against me. You used that biggest doubt and used it for your own good! It shouldn’t surprise me, not should it hurt. But yet here I am, with my heart broken. Because I was so close in burying that dream, only to make you happy. To stay by your side, because helping you was more important for me than pursuing my own dreams!” You shook your head and clenched your fingers. “I went for that damn interview, because Natasha made me. She told me I hiding behind you, afraid to take a step forward. But it wasn’t it. I was just trying to protect you. Make you happy. And what do I get in return? you betrayed me, Tony. The one person I thought I could trust, the one person who I thought new about my insecurities. The one man I was able to trust and love in my stupid life, used me, because his needs were more important than what I’d want.” You wiped your eyes and turned around. “I will send you an email with PA that would gladly take my place.”

“I don’t want them!” he shouted, getting up to get closer to you. “I don’t want anyone, but you. I know! Fuck, I know i made a mistake. I know I was selfish, but please… one more time. Give me a chance to prove myself. To show you I am not a dick! Please! I won’t survive without you. I need you. I…”

“No Tony... “ You smiled sadly and took a step away from him. “You don’t need me. You need the idea of me. You need a person who would follow your every step, Who would do your job without saying a word. Who would follow you like a lost puppy. A part of me always thought you gave me this job due to my powers, but that it wasn’t it. You just needed someone who would adore you the same way you adore yourself. But I had enough.”

“I thought you love me!” He hissed at you, when you were almost at the corridor. “Was that a lie?” Not able to control yourself you laughed through tears. You turned around, walked towards him and slapped him across the face.

“Don’t you ever dare to say that! i loved you for so long. I loved you when you brought all those women here. I loved you when you shouted at me and made me feel like I was nothing. I loved you when you were away to those damn missions. i loved you while I was healing you and I loved you when you pushed your tongue in that blonde’s mouth.” He flinched, remembering the Christmas party. “I loved you despite hurting. I loved you so much that I decided to stay by your side for so long, despite being unwanted. I knew… I knew how absurd those feelings were. I knew someone like you, who has everything, would never fall in love with me. And you made that completely clear at the party. You gave a little hope, and then crushed it. But not anymore Tony. I have had enough and before it escalates I need to leave.”

“You won’t get any opinion from me. You won’t get a job anywhere in the industry” He shouted. He hated himself when those words left his lips. He hated the look you gave him. He wanted to apologize and say that this was bullshit. He wanted you to stay. But he knew, there was no way. No way for you to forgive him. Not anymore.

“Yeah. Thanks, Mr Stark. It was a pleasure to work for you!”

***

He watched you smile at the kid, who giggled at your adorable, funny face. She was crying and you did everything you could to stop her from crying, while her mom went to the bathroom. He didn’t know how good you were with kids. He never seen you with any. He watched you give her a chocolate cookie, which had probably brighten her day. And he watched when you smiled at the woman, who was probably thanking you for taking care of the little girl.

He looked at the place and sighed. This was not something you dreamed of. It was an MIT nor a technological industry. When you left for real, leaving him with a three page long email with names of the best PAs in the country, he called every big business, including MIT, giving them the best references he could give. His heart broken even more, when the MIT’s HR called and told him that you have declined their job offer. You hated him and he hated himself.

He knew Natasha talked to you from time to time. Clint and Steve came here for your coffee and “The best apple pie’ in Boston. They took that extra way to see you at least once in three months. Bruce send you emails regarding some new tech Avengers were using and you answered him with possible ideas of how to make them better.

You still loved that world. He could see it and hear how you missed that and the Avengers. he was able to see through Jarvis’ system, that you connected to talk to him. You kept in touch with everyone, even a stupid AI, and not him. You left the next day. Your bags were gone, room cleaned up and only an email waiting for him.

Mr Stark.

According to our contract I should be giving you a two weeks notice of my leaving, however, due to my unused vacation days, I am taking them and I quit immediately from today. As I promised, you can find attached the list of the best PA in this country. I made you all of your business had been taken care of.

I would greatly appreciate if you didn’t try to get in touch with me in any ways. I am planning on starting a new life. I hope our paths won’t have to cross in the future and....

I wish you well, Tony. I really do. When I think about it, it was me who was an idiot. It was me who fallen in love with someone who could only love himself. I was the idiot one. So yes. I do wish you all the best Tony.

Love,

Lex

He hated and loved this email. It was the last thing from you. He didn’t contact you, didn’t try to find you. You deserved it. After everything he’s done for you, you deserved freedom from him. Away from his selfish ass.

He was able to keep that promise for two years. Two years of his teammates talking about your new coffee place, your new flat in Boston and a boyfriend you broke up with two months ago. They tried to stay quiet when he walked in but he was still able to hear them. They loved and cared about you. And who was he to neglect that.

But two years were enough. He had enough and he decided to be selfish this one time. One more time. Come here see you and if you give him a chance, apologise.

“Iron Man!” He froze hearing a boy shouting from the inside of the coffee place. He noticed your frozen figure and he wanted to run away. He was actually very close in just walking away, when you turned around and he felt his heart stopping. You became so beautiful. You have lost some weight, your hair gotten longer at those eyes. Those beautiful eyes were still so mesmerizing. “Mommy, It’s Tony Stark!”

You watched with disbelief at the man outside of your coffee place. You followed his every move, when he walked in, and smiled at the boy, taking some pictures with him and signing his cap. You scanned him and something you hoped died a long time ago, came back to life. The butterflies were back. You closed your eyes and turned around, pretending like you were focused on cleaning the coffee machine. Anything not to look at him. not to focus on those beautiful face, and charming smile.

“Lex”, you flinched at his quiet, almost scared whisper. He walked closer and you were afraid to turn around. “Ma’am can i order?” You rolled your eyes. You couldn’t just say no. It was possible that it was a coincidence. Maybe he came here for business and… No! It was Tony Stark, nothing was just ‘lucky’ for him.

“Of course, sir. What would you like?” You turned around and tried to give him your most natural, customer service smile.

“How about that chocolate you used to make and 10 minutes of your time.” You bit your lips and took a deep breath.

“We have three types of chocolate, Sir. What is it you want? White, milk or dark?”

“Lex, please!” He whispered, his hands travelled to cup yours, but you took a step away from the counter. He closed his eyes and looked around. “Can we please talk when you close? Please?” It wasn’t often that Tony Stark was begging and the mean part, which hated him, was happy to see him in emotional pain. But the part that still loved him felt sorry for him. And so you agreed, telling him you were closing in three hours. He ordered a dark chocolate and an apple pie and sat at the corner of the place, patiently waiting.

“I told you not to contact me!” You hissed, when the last customer left the place. You turned around and gave him your angry look. “One thing I asked of you! Damn it, Stark!”

“Two years… Come on, Lex. It’s been two years I missed you.” He sounded and looked so small. He looked like he wanted to cry and run away as quickly as possible. Like coming here was the biggest mistake of his life. “I… Fuck… Can we sit down?” You crossed your hands on your chest and he sighed. “I never apologised.” You frowned at him and smiled at you. A small, unsure smile. “I never said what I truly wanted to say to you that day. So if you give me ten minutes, I will tell you. 10 minutes and maybe one more of your chocolate?”

“I turned off the machine.” You stated, making him swallow hard at your tone.

“Sure. Yeah.” He took a deep breath and sat down on one of the stools. “I was the biggest asshole in the Universe, but I was afraid. I was afraid that the only person I truly trusted and loved would leave me. Like my mom did. I was a mess when she died. She was the only one that really knew me, the same as you. But she had to be there for me, she needed to love me, because I was her child. Her only son. You didn’t have to and yet you still did. And it scared me, because I didn’t understand why someone like you would ever love me. So when I heard you went for a job interview I got scared, that I will lose you. Yes I was a selfish prick and if I could turn back time I would, trust me.

“All those things you said to me that day were true. And I just wish you would have told me them sooner, I would have the opportunity to work on myself not to lose you. I wanted to stop you and so out of fear I did something I was only good at. I pushed you away. Even more. When I heard you took down proposition from MIT I knew I fucked up.”

“I felt like I would owe you something and I didn’t want that.” He nodded and hid his face in his his hands.

“I fucked up big times. The worst thing was not because I tried to hurt you, but because I tried to not feel pain myself. I was selfish. Hell, I am still selfish for coming here.” You raised your brow but let him continue. You heart slowly melting at his words. You never stopped loving him and this all was not making it easier to forget about him. “I know those words mean nothing to you now. But I love you and I miss you. What I wouldn’t give to have you back in my life. Even if only as a friend. I am not afraid to say that I love you. And I need you. And not the idea of you, but you. That selfless, kind hearted woman, with the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. I want and need you. With me in my life, in NY. I know you have your life here in Boston, but… I just want you to know that.”

“It took you hell of a lot of time, Stark.” He looked up and frowned seeing a little smile on your lips. “I guess I lost a bet with Nat.”

“A bet?”

“Yeah”, you shrugged and chuckled. “I believed you’d forget about me and never come to see me, and well, Nat was sure you’d come to find me in the first three years I was away.”

“Yeah. She’s scary. I think it’s a Russian thing.” He rolled his eyes dramatically and you chuckled. “You’re not mad at me anymore?”

“Oh, I hate you, don’t get me wrong!” He opened his mouth to say something, but was smart enough not to. “But I still love you and people say love is stronger than hate.” He was looking at you with those big puppy, brown eyes. “But I want to start over. Be your friend. Get to know Tony Stark, and…”

“And? I will give you anything you want, Lex!” He took a step closer and took your hands in his. This time you didn’t pull away.

“That place on Brooklyn. There used to be a pancake place, but now it's free and no one bought it. I want it.” He looked at you and chuckled. Pulling you closer, he kissed the top of your head.

“Sure thing, sweetheart. It’s all yours. So am I.”

#tony stark #tony stark x oc #tony stark x reader #tony stark x you #PA #Avengers #Happy Ending #angst #Iron Man #Tony Stark fanfiction

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