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ceesimz · 11 days

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The Mountain Is You

Part 2 of 'Our Sun Is Setting'

Barcelona. Once a place that felt like home to you, yet now as you clamber into the back of your taxi outside of the airport, it's the same but different.

Same sun, different warmth. Same air, different atmosphere. Same airport, different kind of departure.

Same person tying you down to this city, different dynamic.

If you thought a lot could change in two days, you had no idea what could happen in eighteen months. Turns out, a lot could change too, but thankfully for the sake of your sanity, the mental blows were not so big and not so frequent this time around. You doubt you would be in this situation now, back in the city you love, if it wasn't for your grandparents. They welcomed you with open arms and endless amounts of baked goods as soon as they caught wind of you coming home.

For the first month you stayed with them, most of that time was spent in the spare bedroom they made up for you, not quite holding the confidence or will power to do much else other than feel sorry for yourself. Some days you would walk their dog with them, other days you wouldn't leave the room. Some days you would do as many chores possible for them as a thank you, other days your Grandmother would sit beside you up against the headboard whilst you lay beside her as she read her book out loud, one hand gently running through your hair as she went. Some days you'd all laugh about shared memories of your Mother, other days you'd cry into each other's arms.

Something clicked inside you along the way though. One day you just woke up with a certain determination, and the look on your Grandfather's face as you wandered into the kitchen at 7am was enough to force a few giggles out of you before ushering him to join you on an early morning walk. That was when you voiced your new thoughts to him.

"I think I'm going to start applying for jobs again soon. You know, get out of your hair a little bit." You said to him, smiling when he tutted and wrapped an arm around your shoulders.

"Don't be ridiculous. We're happier than we have been in a while now that you're with us, sunshine." He replied honestly, hugging you into his side.

"I know. I'm happy too, but I do want a job. What job, I'm not sure yet, but I'm going to start looking."

"You don't have to pressure yourself though, okay? If you change your mind at any point, that's perfectly fine. Just do it at your own pace. If you would like, you could print off your CV for me and Granny to hand in to places."

"That's fine, Grandad, you don't have to." You laughed lightly at his suggestion, bringing your hand up to cover his that rested on your shoulder. "Everything is online nowadays."

"Of course. That rules me and Gran out the question then, in terms of advice." He grumbled jokingly, though his classic, cheeky smile rests on his face. "Absolutely no help for you there, sweetheart."

"I didn't think there would be any anyway. I've seen Grandma use the microwave." The pair of you laugh at that, before it falls silent as you walk along the cliff-top coastline. The tone of the conversation shifts a bit when you speak again. "I think I'm also going to start seeing a therapist. You know, for everything that's happened."

"Okay, love. Whatever is best for you." And that's all the reassurance you needed.

The job hunt would forever be an aspect of life you despised. But, two months later, you had secured a job within the local area that you chose to walk to most days, a piece of advice from your new therapist that at first you hated but soon it was your favourite part of your daily routine. Apart from when it rained, obviously.

Things were going well though, surprisingly well, and it set in one evening as you sat in the back garden, watching your grandparents gardening, that the choice you made a few months prior was the right one.

You had managed to keep a certain Spaniard out of your mind for most of the time after that first month of being away from her, until one night you got a notification on your phone.

Spain win the FIFA World Cup after a 1-0 victory against England!

What was the right move now? Text her to congratulate her? Or is no contact best for the time being? Would texting her give her false hope? This was arguably the biggest achievement of her career, her whole life, but as a figure of the past, was it right to dredge everything back up again at such a joyful time?

Your hands faltered over your still cracked phone screen, unsure what to do in such an unusual situation. There was no handbook on what to do if your ex-girlfriend, who you're still in love with and who (hopefully) still loves you too, wins the biggest trophy of her career, nor could a google search be any assistance. And unfortunately, as perfect as they are, your grandparents that had been married for over fifty years now may not be any help either.

So, the only decision you could land on, no matter how much you didn't like it, was to leave it.

Until your finger slipped and liked her celebratory Instagram post later that night. You still followed each other on social media, too reluctant to get rid of that remaining bridge, but your Instagram had lain dormant ever since you had left. That meant you had some insight into Alexia's life post-breakup, guiltily indulging in a late night scroll every now and then which you found yourself in now, whilst she had no idea what you were up to or even if you were alive.

Well, at least she knew you were still here and you still cared for her. Could that be shown in one single social media interaction? You hoped so. Maybe that was a tad bit dramatic though. What else were you supposed to do?

You had the same reaction a year later as you watched Alexia captain her team to an unfortunate loss in the Olympics final. However, it was still a silver Olympic medal, and not many athletes could say they have one of those. A congratulatory text from you may have seemed like the start of a pity party though, so once again you opted out of it. Time and place and all that.

A year on and you were in a much better place, there were no two ways about it. Therapy was difficult, of course it was, but people were right when they say it's one of the best things to do for yourself. You don't think you'd ever been better. Subsequently, that led to an inevitable topic to come into discussion during one session.

"What do you think the... repercussions would be if I... went back to Barcelona?" You asked nervously, looking down at your hands as they fidgeted in your lap.

"It depends what you went to get out of it. Would you go for the city itself? Or for her?"

For some reason, in your sessions, your therapist hardly ever named Alexia. It was always 'her' or 'she', never her name. You figured it was so that you never shied away from the subject which was probably close to being the hardest to talk about, but you were too afraid to ask.

"Both." You answered initially. Your therapist stayed quiet of course, waiting for you to answer truthfully, something she again always did. "Her. Mostly."

"Do you think you're in the headspace for it? You've made so much progress since we first started, so you need to think if it'll aid the healing process or cause a regression."

"Well, she wasn't the problem in the first place. Everything she did for me was perfect, it was the relationship as a whole rather than her specifically. She was... she was perfect." You smiled sadly as you reminisced on your time with her. She really was perfect. "But I was the problem, I think. I was the one suppressing so much stuff and... when I was on my own compared to when I was with her, I was two completely different people. It was like light and day. She had a great effect on me, but I guess it's just figuring out if that was healthy or not. That difference in characters, in mindset."

"See? You've learnt so much from this already. Maybe you should just sit in front of a mirror and talk to yourself, you'd save a lot of money." Your therapist jokes, the pair of you laughing lightly. "So, let's get talking then. Let's figure this out."

And you did. You spent the rest of the session discussing whether it would be suitable for you to go back to Barcelona. The conclusion you came to was a very favourable one, one that made you nervously excited. But what would Alexia be like? Had she moved on? Would she still value you the same? Or would you be old news now? Only time could tell.

The only thing you knew was that it is so much darker after a light goes out than it would have been if it had never shone, and that was the case with Alexia. Perhaps your life wouldn't have been so flipped upside down if you hadn't had met her; such a sweet and loving soul, the purest and brighest light shining onto every dark crevice you'd ever hidden. You'd had a taste of her, and you'd be damned if you didn't at least try for her again. Alexia Putellas wasn't one to lose, and you'd been fortunate to have her in the first place. If it was a one time thing, maybe you'd have to come to terms with that being the case. But for now, getting to Barcelona was just the first step.

Your grandparents definitely approved of you going back, no matter how long for, whether it be one day or one month or perhaps forever. At some point in the past year you had opened up to them about Alexia and they were heartbroken for you. Of course they would be. Your hearts were one and the same. They were the biggest advocates in getting you to go back and see Alexia, and even if Alexia didn't want to see you, you were still going to go to Barcelona. You had friends there, you'd lived a whole life there for just over a year, you'd fallen in love with it before you'd even met Alexia, so regardless of her opinion (even if it did sting like hell) you're still going.

When you booked your flight there, with no return ticket just yet, your grandparents had cheered and dragged you up from the armchair to dance with them along to the music from their old radio. It was a core memory, absolutely, and you'd be lying if you said a part of you wasn't hoping to share this memory one day with Alexia.

However, the day came where you had to do the thing you'd been most afraid of. Contacting Alexia. It was an occasion that definitely called for an emergency video call with your therapist who was very pleased to meet your grandparents for the first time, albeit over Zoom, and the three of them offered any and all advice you'd take until you had carefully curated a text message to send to her.

You:

Hey Alexia, I hope you're doing well. Feel free to ignore this, but I'm coming back to Barcelona soon and I was wondering if you wanted to catch up? If you don't want to, I completely understand. It's been a while and we've both lived our lives without each other in it, so no pressure at all. Let me know if you're open to it. Take care x

Almost immediately, the message was read by her. And just as quickly, the typing icon came up. Safe to say, your grandparents were freaking out just as much as you were.

Alexia:

Wow, it is so good to hear from you. I'm doing well and I really hope things are much better for you. I've been dreaming of hearing from you since the moment you left. I absolutely want to see you again, I don't care how long it's been, so let me know when you're coming and I'll see you as soon as I can. Espero verte pronto, cuídate x

Any longer and your jaw would have been lodged into its place hanging wide open. She wanted to see you just as much as you wanted to see her. The feeling of relief that washed over you upon reading it was gone as quick as it arrived; instead, you were now filled with nerves. No, not nerves, butterflies.

And that's where you found yourself now, your taxi driver navigating the streets of Barcelona towards your hotel in mid-October. It was reaching the evening, so your plan was to start off the trip calmly with a walk around the city to re-familiarise yourself before sunset, then just order some room service for dinner. Simple, but the right way to start what would probably be a bit of a challenging trip mentally.

Despite the low-key nature of the day, you could hardly sleep later that night. There was only one reason, it was obvious. You and Alexia had plans to meet for lunch the next day after her training session. You can't recall an event in your life you had ever felt so excited for, you felt like a kid on Christmas Eve again. A few doubts trickled into your mind every now and then, but you'd grafted for too long now for petty worries to tear down the confidence you had built.

Of course you were eager to see the woman you loved again for the first time in eighteen months, but there was a bigger part of you that was desperate for her to see the progress you'd made. You were proud, and it had taken a lot to get to this point. You wanted to share your pride with her and show her the person you always knew you could be all along. All of your efforts, your hard-work, and your sacrifices had been worth it. You were right to feel proud. And after all, sacrifices were given that name for a reason.

When you did eventually fall asleep, it was with images of Alexia circling in your mind, hoping she still had a place in her heart for you and that she'd love you again for who you are now and not who you were.

Finally, finally, the time came to see Alexia again. You weren't really sure what to expect; it was a unique situation with exceptional circumstances, and you were trying desperately not to put too much pressure on the day. Yet, you were a despairingly hopeful person and the anticipation was almost overwhelming as you were getting ready.

Contact between you both had been little but often, topics never delving too deep which you were so glad about as you wanted to talk to her properly face to face. You had to, it's the least she deserved. Over text, anything could be easily misinterpreted and you weren't about to ruin your chance with words getting lost in translation. Phone calls and FaceTimes were out of the question too, and you were grateful that your individual desperation wasn't getting in the way of going about this the correctly. By no means were you a perfectionist, but there were some things in life that were far too important to be ruined by a lack of patience and all-consuming desire.

Once again, your new and probably your healthiest habit came into play as you decided to walk under the bright October weather to the place Alexia had chosen for the occasion. Neutral ground of course; meeting at her apartment or your hotel room wasn't appropriate... yet.

You arrived at the quaint, little restaurant first, a coincidence you were more thankful for than you'd admit, and you chose to seat yourself at a table off to the side. A bit of privacy from strangers could go a long way for a day like today, you figured. You didn't really want a bunch of strangers to witness the influx of emotions you'd no doubt go through when Alexia arrived.

Soon though, that became a case of if Alexia would arrive, because ten minutes passed since you had arrived practically on time and there was still no sign of the woman. And, rather naïvely, you hadn't planned for her to stand you up. You and your therapist had almost fully mentally prepared you for every other outcome except that one. She did have training beforehand, perhaps that had ran late. Still, your mind was slowly spiralling into overdrive with each second that passed.

Until she did arrive.

The bell over the door rang faintly through the room as it opened hastily, a frantic looking Alexia entering the restaurant. She was really here. Here, basically racing over to you whilst weaving through the tables and chairs and the light scattering of people. Here, still as breathtakingly beautiful as ever. Still Alexia.

She came to a stop in front of you, both of you stuck in a trance as if the world had stopped spinning solely for this moment right here. An anticipatory and contemplative silence settled as your eyes' tracked over every feature of the other, a refresh for the memory of the face you'd so dearly missed.

Alexia was the first to speak - a breathless whisper of your name as if she was in disbelief that you were right in front of her. It triggered something in you, because before you had even realised, you had jumped up from your chair and wrapped your arms tightly around her; a hug you had been dying for for longer than you'd admit. It took a few seconds for her to react but soon, Alexia enveloped you just as emphatically.

The embrace was paired with a few more whispered chants of your name from Alexia - in this moment, for her, it felt like the past months without you she had just been floating through her life, waking up everyday as if it were a chore more than anything. But now, in your arms, she felt alive again. The time without you had been worth it for this single moment here.

"Hey." You mumbled quietly into her neck, smiling uncontrollably when the taller woman squeezed you impossibly more in response.

"Hi." Her voice cracked ever so slightly as she spoke. "Hi."

"You already said that." You teased her lightly, meeting her gaze when she moved back to look at you properly. One of her hands came up to delicately cradle your cheek as if she was scared you would disintegrate at her touch. "Don't be so worried. I'm not going anywhere right now."

"You better not." Alexia murmured, her eyes boring down at you so deeply that it caused your breath to hitch in your throat. "I can't believe you're here."

You blushed at the intensity of her look, gesturing a hand down your body jokingly.

"Live in the flesh." You grinned cheekily, gasping slightly when she pulled you back into herself. "Ale."

"Say that again." She said so quietly you almost missed it.

"Alexia. Ale." You repeated, along with a light kiss to her cheek. She physically deflated in your arms, all the tension you didn't even realise was there dissipating immediately. You saying her name was like the last confirmation she needed that yes, you were actually here.

"I..." She started, leaning back and shaking her head whilst letting out a shaky breath. "I missed you. So much."

You smile and... almost instinctively lean in to kiss her - what were you doing?

"I missed you too." You replied, willing yourself to not ruin it, not now, not when you've made it so far. "I really did."

She returned a smile and reluctantly lets go of you in favour of finally taking a seat at the table. You sit across from her and realise that most of the tables were quite small and intimate, and if you had any remaining functional thought processes left that weren't all occupied by Alexia, you would have thought she'd chosen this restaurant for that specific feature. Your knees grazed against each other under the table and Alexia couldn't stop herself from travelling the small distance with her hands to grasp one of yours with both of hers.

"How are you?"

"Well, that's quite a question. Do you want the short answer or the long answer?" You answer humorously, Alexia shrugging.

"Whatever you want. Say it all or say nothing, I'm just glad to be in your company again." You can't help but swoon a little at her words. "But... I would really like it if you were honest with me. And open. Though I understand if not."

"I'm happy to tell you it all. You best have your listening ears on though." You say, delighted to hear her laugh.

"I do, I swear."

At that, you explain everything from start to finish. From the days you spent in bed, to the first therapy session you had, to the moment you opened up to your grandparents, all the way to the point where you made the decision to come back to Barcelona. The only slightly annoying and poorly timed interruption was from the waiter who asked for your orders, the pair of you quickly apologising and taking one glance at the menu before ordering the first thing that caught your eye.

She listened intently to every word you had to say, not afraid to ask a question every now and then whilst also respecting the privacy you still had every right to. Alexia didn't really feel like you absolutely owed her anything, she just wanted a little context to it all, a little closure and an update on your current state of mind. She just wanted you to be well, she just wanted you.

The whole time you spoke, she simply gazed at you with such a soft and earnest look in her eyes. With her presence that, despite all that time, still had the greatest effect on you paired with your newfound self, you were at peace here.

"You promise that you're better now?" She raises her hand up to you, waiting for you to link fingers with her to secure your truth. And this time, you weren't lying when you answered her.

"I'm so much better." You stated with a shy smile, and that statement felt like the final nail in the coffin to the whole journey you'd been on the past two years.

"You don't know how happy I am to hear that." Alexia revealed with a disbelieving shake of her head. You lift your shoulders in a dismissive shrug, glancing down at your joined hands in the centre of the table.

"Are you... are you angry at me?" You ask. You weren't perfect still, you still had doubts and insecurities.

"What would I be angry about?" Her nose scrunched up in genuine confusion.

"Any of it. All of it."

"Hey." She said, nudging your hand to try and gain your attention. You look up at her and blush a little. "Do I seem angry?" You ponder that for a moment, eyes searching her face, before shaking your head no. "Good, because I'm not. Not at all. What person would I be to react like that?"

"An asshole." You mumble, the pair of you breaking out into laughter after a second.

"I'm proud of you and happy for you. You..." Alexia sighs and pauses, wondering if it's the right time to say what she wanted to say. It's her turn to focus her attention on your hands as she mindlessly traced random shapes on the back of your hand with her finger. "This new version of you, I can see that you're less... weighed down by things. There is a different look in your eyes and though I can't quite describe it yet, I know it's a sign that you feel better and more at peace with yourself. That is all I could wish for, for the person I love."

Sorry, what was that?

"Uh, you sti- you still love me?" You stuttered. You just had to know.

"Yes. I do." Alexia confirms, a sheepish smile on her face. "I was being truthful before you left when I said that I'll always love you. Maybe I shouldn't have said this now. You don't have to love me still. I would... I would understand."

"No, Ale, what?" You shook your head at her and squeezed her hands tightly. "I love you. I'll always love you too. Why do you think I wouldn't love you?"

"Why would you think I wouldn't love you?" She hits back, resulting in you both laughing shyly. "It would have to be really crazy situations for me to not love you, chiqui."

"Was this not a crazy situation? Me dramatically fleeing the country out of nowhere?"

"No, and don't say it like that. You had every reason to leave, okay? I told you that when you left and I'll still tell you that now. I don't resent you for choosing yourself." Alexia argues firmly, bringing your hand up to her mouth so that she could kiss the back of it reassuringly. She halts for a moment, wondering if it's appropriate to do so, but judging by the redness of your cheeks she decides to go through with it. "I... just had a few doubts about this all, but now that you're here my mind has calmed down now."

"Are you okay?" You blurt out.

At the mention of herself, your concern immediately turned to Alexia and how she coped through all this. If you knew her as well as you thought you did, you had a feeling you knew what her immediate reaction would be.

"What do you mean?"

Exactly what you guessed.

"I haven't checked up on you yet. I want to know how you've been doing." You answer, shifting forward slightly so that you were closer to her.

"Why check up on me?" Alexia chuckles nervously.

"Because your girlfriend walked out on you and went off the grid for a year and a half. Forget about me right now, Ale, I want to know how you are."

She pauses looking at you, an internal battle going on behind her eyes that you're all too familiar with, until she sighs once more and her demeanour drops.

"Well, I was worried about you, firstly. Everyday I woke up you were the first thing I thought about and the last thing in my mind before I slept. I don't think you ever left my mind, not for long anyway. I wanted the best for you. And then I guess... I had a few selfish thoughts too. But as I said, you're here, and I don't need to think about them anymore." Alexia told you, a tight-lipped smile on her face. "I don't want to say them now, today is about you."

"No, Alexia, it's not. It's a day for both of us." You urge her to understand that it's okay for her to open up, that it's been a hard time for her too, but part of you knows you most likely won't get that out of her today.

"Amor, please. Let's do this another time, for now just focus on the positive. We can talk about me any other time, just not now, please." She begs with a pleading look in her eyes. "I am okay, I swear. You being here has solved everything, it's the truth."

"Promise you'll open up at some point soon?" It's your turn to hold your hand up for her to make a promise.

"As long as you stay long enough." She jokes, but it's clear to see there is some fear and insecurity there. She does link her finger with yours though, a sentiment that's never lost on you. "How long are you staying for?"

"That's the thing. I don't really have a return date yet." You admit, and the flash of hope in Alexia's eyes ignites a feeling of longing inside of you.

Forget timings and socially standardised timelines of falling in love or healing or whatever it was you were doing, you didn't care anymore. Why delay the inevitable process? You were in love with her and she was in love with you. Taking it slow was overrated anyway.

"What does that mean?" Alexia asks, her heart palpitating at the prospect of your answer.

"It means... anything, Ale. What do you want it to mean?"

Perhaps answering questions with another question wasn't the best habit you'd picked up from your therapist.

"You want the truth?" You nod instantly, your emotions already bubbling and she hasn't even said anything yet. "As long as you are ready for it, and you must swear to me that you are because I don't want to h-"

"Oh my god, just say it, please." You beg, eyes wide in hopeful anticipation, waiting for her to admit the thing you had yearned for all these months.

"I want you back in my life, permanently. I want to be your girlfriend again. No matter how long it takes, no matter how slow you decide to take things, the thing I've wished for all this time is to just be yours again, to have you as mine. I'll do anything to make that happen, I swear by it. You want me to throw stones at your hotel window? I'll do it. You want me to sneak onto your balcony in the middle of the night? I'll do that. You want me to stand outside your door with a loudspeaker and signs? I already have the speaker and words prepared. I'll even stand in the centre of Montjuïc at the next game and sing for you if you really want."

You laugh at every ridiculous idea of devotion that comes out of her mouth, eyes glossy with unshed tears. Except, this time, the tears aren't ones of sorrow or longing, they're tears of exultation and relief. Alexia had waited for you, all this time. There had been no one else for her and no matter how selfish it was, it's the best revelation you've ever had.

"I don't think the culers would be too happy about you singing." You teased, rolling your eyes at the smug and nonchalant shrug she gave.

"I don't care, because it wouldn't be for them, it would be for you." She smirks, leaning in closer. Your foreheads were mere inches about now, a fact neither of you could ignore.

"You sure you want me back?" You mumbled shyly. It was Alexia's turn to roll her eyes now as she fought back the temptation to kiss the doubt off of your lips.

"I want nothing more than I want you." She responded, sounding so sure of herself that it was intoxicatingly enticing.

"Even if it's long distance for a little while?"

"Even then." Alexia smiles, resting her arms on her elbows as she brought your joined hands up together to rest in between you both. She pressed her lips to your hands once more, eyes closed as she does so, before looking back into your eyes. "We will figure out the logistics another time. For now, all I know is that I have the love of my life back and I want to spend every second I can with her before she leaves."

"Love of your life, hm?" You whisper with a shy grin, Alexia grunting at how you teased her for her softness. It was something you'd always done, and she was grateful that that part of you hadn't changed. "Well, what do we do now?"

"I'm hoping that you will let me kiss you, finally."

"In here? With all these people?" There really weren't that many people in there, and the few that were wouldn't even take notice of the sickeningly sweet moment occuring.

"Sí. Déjame besarte, por favor." The sound of Alexia speaking Spanish was something you could never get over, it did things to you everytime. How could you deny her when she spoke like she did?

"I guess." You rolled your eyes and sighed dramatically as if it was such an inconvenience.

Alexia simply grinned and planted both her hands on your cheeks before surging forward to kiss you. However, she pauses for a moment, just taking in your appearance and letting out a huff of disbelieved laughter, then she finally presses her lips against yours. A quiet, muffled moan leaves your throat before you can stop it, and the sound of it causes Alexia to smirk smugly. Frustratingly, the stupid but irresistible thing made it aggravatingly difficult to kiss the life out of her like you so wanted to. The smirk was wiped off of Alexia's face the second you broke the kiss much sooner than she wanted to.

"What's wro-"

"I can't kiss you how I want to when you're grinning like a maniac, pendeja!" You groan, butting your forehead against hers to further emphasise your annoyance.

"Pobrecita bebé." Alexia pouts sarcastically at you whilst gently grasping your chin with her thumb and forefinger. That idiotic, childish grin soon forced its way back where it belongs, and you can't help but smile at the sight of it. "I can't help it, amor! What do you want me to do?"

"Be normal and not do that stupid smirk!"

"Oh, perdónarme, I'm sorry I'm so happy that I have you back!" Alexia exclaims, arguing solely to rile you up. What people didn't know about this layered Catalan is that she loved bickering with you or just annoying you in general. You didn't realise quite how much you missed it until this moment now.

"I swear to god, stop being so infuriating and just get o-"

And get on with it she did. You couldn't even finish your sentence before she silenced you in one of the best ways you could think of. And god bless the poor waiter who just wanted to do his job, because when he came to give you your meals, the sight he walked up to was somewhat less than PG. The young guy, who honestly looked no older than 18, cleared his throat louder than normal and the pair of you jumped a mile apart at the unexpected presence. Alexia had to grip the edge of the table to prevent her chair from tipping back, trying desperately to disguise her embarrassment with a tight-lipped smile and rambled thanks to the boy, all the whilst you had to stifle what would be a very loud belly laugh.

"Calláte, that was your fault." Alexia hushed out, her eyes scanning the room to figure out if anyone else had just witnessed that monstrosity. Meanwhile, your face was now bright red due to the laughter threatening to escape out from behind your palm that covered your mouth. It was Alexia's fault really, the shot burst of laughter that barrelled out of you, because she kicked you in the shin as she sipped from the water that had been dropped off at some point during the afternoon. "Dios mío, what is wrong with you!?"

"Sorry, sorry, I'm sorry." You choked out. You took a page from Alexia's book and drank some of your water. As you did, you noticed that Alexia's face wasn't contorted to one of irritation, it was the face she did when she was trying to suppress the overwhelming amount of joy she felt. As someone who was so keen to convey a certain persona, it was one you'd seen a few times since you'd known her, and this was perhaps your favourite look of hers. "I think you'll find it was your awkwardness that was at fault, Ale."

"Yeah, yeah. Eat your food, idiota."

There were periods of peaceful silence as you ate, some conversation here and there, but despite all that has and hasn't been said so far, it felt like there wasn't anything that needed to be uttered. You were both content to enjoy each other's presence again, your eyes meeting every other moment as you ate which resulted in you both blushing and laughing like lovesick teenagers.

It really was tooth-rottingly sweet, and though the dynamic wasn't all too different than it was before, there was solace found in the knowledge that a lot of things had been changed for the better. The prospect of it all was exhilarating, a new path for you both to walk together, and for you there were no longer question marks looming over every part of your life.

The main thing that hadn't changed too much for you, a thing you were relieved about, was the way Alexia made you feel. It was the same as it used to be, except about a million times better. There wasn't so much guilt or gloom that was masked by Alexia, it was all genuine and you already knew that feeling would bleed into your everyday life with her around.

"You said you told your grandparents about me?" Alexia wondered, sitting back in her chair with her hands linked over her stomach.

"I did. They said if this goes well, I have to bring back Barça shirts for them." You revealed with a smile, Alexia chuckling.

"I can organise that for them. As well as tickets to a game if they'd like."

"Alright, Miss Marketing." You roll your eyes at her offer, pausing to take a sip from your half-full glass. "We get it, you love your club. You don't have to spread the message like a missionary."

"I have to win them over some way." Alexia laughs, before her face turns a little more serious and you have a feeling you know what she's about to bring up. "What about your... Dad?"

"Haven't spoken to him since the day I left." You answer, eyes focused on the tracks your finger left behind on the condensation of the glass as it ran around the curve of it. "No idea what he's doing or where he is. Just know that he's alive and that's all I have the energy to care about."

"That's good for you, amor. He doesn't deserve you."

"I know that." You smile genuinely at her, and that's another one of her worries she had for you erased. "I think, out of anyone, my therapist is the one you must give tickets to."

"Mm, yes. I must meet this magical woman one day, I owe my life to her." That charming smirk is back on her face, and you blush at that as well as the sentiment she holds in her words.

"I don't want this meal to end." You mumble in a disheartened voice, reaching your hand across the small gap between you both to grasp one of the hands on her stomach.

"It... it doesn't have to, amor." Alexia starts, catching your attention as you look up to meet her eyes. "You could come over to my apartment. It's been a while since you've been there. The indentation on my balcony chair has left, I think you need to reinstate it."

You roll your eyes at her humour, a soft smile on your face at the laugh she gives at her own jokes. You do think the offer over though - is it too soon? Maybe, but if this counted as a first date, milestones were out the window considering you'd already confessed your love for each other. Did time and patience count when it came to re-conciliating a relationship? Screw it, who cares.

"I'd be happy to come over, Ale. If you want that."

"Are you sure? Because I would love that, except I don't want to rush you or ruin anything if we move too fast."

"Fuck that. I know what I want now and that's you. Who cares what is too fast. I've delayed our relationship once already, I'm not doing that again."

She stares at you from across the table and if it was possible, you'd say her pupils were the shape of a heart with the look she fixed you with. Then she was standing out of nowhere, shrugging her jacket back on whilst you watched her, completely confused, until she held her hand out for you.

"Let's go, ay?" She hums, wiggling her fingers to urge you to move. "No wasting time, you said."

You jut your tongue into your cheek, heart fluttering at her forwardness, and gather your own coat before taking her hand. She presses a soft kiss to your cheek before guiding you towards the exit with a hand on your lower back, a notion she's always done and one you'll always adore.

Silently, she leads you to her car that's parked around the corner and watches with a shy but proud smile as you climb into the passenger side of the car. With every little thing you did, whether that was humming contently as you ate your food or smiling at her absentmindedly every time she spoke, or even just blinking and breathing, she realised she could never verbalise the love she held for you because she'd never experienced it before in her life, ever. Not with pets, not with friends, not with her family. It was otherworldly, unexplainable, and though she wasn't religious, her devotion to you was just as close to that.

Again, there is just light, scattered chatter as she drives you back to one of your favourite places in the world, and once more she guides you to the elevator with her palm pressed to your back. As you stand in the lift, shoulder to shoulder, there are modestly triumphant smiles on your faces, a wordless shared notion sitting between you that everything was worth it in the end. Even if it took a journey and a half to get there, the climb was always worth it for the view at the top.

"What would you like to do now?" Alexia asks as she unlocks her door and allows you to step in before her.

"Uh, can we chill on the balcony? You know it's my favourite spot." You reply with a grin, and Alexia somehow knew you were going to say that, almost as if she's heard those words leave your mouth maybe a few hundred times in the past.

"Of course. You go ahead, I'll get us some drinks."

You nod and walk through to her bedroom, one thing standing out to you; everything is exactly the same as it was before. That comforts you impossibly more than you yourself could ever understand. Future therapy topic?

However, there is one thing that jumps out at you. You walk over to where it stands on Alexia's dresser and pick it up, holding the object in your hand with a smile on your face.

"Ale, why do you have my favourite perfume here? I never once brought it to your apartment." You shout to where she was in the kitchen, no doubt her cheeks a bright pink colour at the fact she'd been caught out.

"Because I bought some, after you left." She replied, and you giggle to yourself at the ever so slightly embarrassed tone that creeps through.

"Liked the smell, did you?"

"Mm. Something like that." She grumbled.

You grin and place it down, heading over to the sliding door adjacent to her bed and opening it. The air that hits you and the sight that greets you causes a wave of familiarity to wash over you, one that you welcome straight away. You take a deep breath and bask in the feeling, leaning on the railing as your eyes raked over the view you adored.

A few minutes later and you hear Alexia walking out behind you, first placing the drinks on the small side table before joining you at the edge. She wraps an arm loosely around your waist and rests her chin on your shoulder, admiring the view of the city that was literally right on her doorstep.

"I missed this view." You break the silence first, voicing what Alexia already knew.

"I missed you." She murmurs, turning to press a kiss to your shoulder when she notices something. "Ah, I knew you never gave that back."

Delicately, she runs her index finger along the necklace that sat around your neck which she had gifted you way back when, quietly delighted to see you still wearing it. And it also aided her in not feeling so embarrassed about the earlier incident where you had found the perfume she bought in memory of you.

"Yeah, sorry about that." You mumble sheepishly, shivering when Alexia chuckles into your neck where her lips soon leave a kiss.

"No, I like that you still have it."

You hum in acknowledgement, content to stay here in the arms of your girlfriend as the locals carried on with the hustle and bustle of city life below you.

"This was my favourite thing about your apartment." You state a little while later, leaning your head against Alexia's.

"I remember." You feel her say it more than you hear it, before a thought clearly captures her attention as she stands up fully, still with her arm around you. "You could come here, uh... full time, you know?"

"You mean move in with you?" It's not the most surprising thing you'd heard from her in all honesty, but it was still a bit of a shock to the system.

"If you'd like. I know I would be happy with that."

"I would too, but... I think that maybe does cross the line of 'too soon' though." You reply with an apologetic smile, but Alexia understands instantly, of course she does.

"That's okay." She comments, one more kiss to your shoulder. "Do you think you'll ever come back to live here again? Barcelona, I mean."

With this city before you, this woman holding you and loving you so gently, and the sea and the sky merging into one in the far distance, you think that maybe life can be simple after all. That starts and ends with Alexia.

"I think it's only a matter of time."

#alexia putellas x reader #woso x reader #alexia putellas #alexia putellas one shot #alexia putellas imagine #woso

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lavishlyleo · 5 months

Text

Astrology Observations 5

One thing I've noticed with Gemini Moons is that while they do love to talk to people and share their thoughts, if they aren't interested in the conversation's topic or if you stay on one topic for too long, they tend to zone out. If they aren't very invested in the convo at hand it will be VERY noticeable (e.g. blank stares, they suddenly go very quiet, dry repetitive responses, checking their phone frequently).

The same can be said for individuals with a lot of Air in their charts in general, especially Gemini and Libra. It can be hard to keep these individuals attention for prolonged periods of time. They like to cut to the interesting part so keep what you have to say very brief and to the point.

Not something Leo Moons are known for, but that I've noticed is that they can be really good at analyzing peoples behavior. Like, they'll see how someone acts and can make connections to their own behavior to understand some elses emotions and feelings. It's how many Leo Moons relate to people, bonus points if their Moon is in a water house!

In your Natal chart, if your ruling planet 's transit is in opposition or square with your natal ruling planet's sign, it can indicate a period of bad luck and hardship. It may feel like the world is against you at the moment, especially if said aspect is in a less than 5° orb. Not a great transit aspect to have.

For example, My ruling planet is Jupiter (Sag Rising) and it's in Scorpio at 9°. IRONICALLY ENOUGH, in my Solar Return chart for this year, Jupiter is in Taurus at 9°. So I'm expecting a lot to happen this year. Later on this year I'll make an update on this aspect.

If you have Scorpio or Pisces in your SR top 3 this year, don't take this lightly!! Like I said in my last post with manifestations, this will be a year that your manifestation power is at an all time high! You may literally speak things into existence, for better or for worse.

On the topic of Scorpio/Pisces SR top three, my advice for this (and I'm speaking from experience) is try to think about things you want to happen, not things you don't want or like. For example, if you think about how much you don't like a certain person, later on down the line you may find yourself suddenly coming back in contact with that person a lot more, when either you wanted to or not.

People with Cancer personal placements, I'd advise you to frequently check the Moon's transit and positions! Whenever it's the full or new moon, keep tabs on what happens those days and how you feel. Let me know in the comments anything interesting that's happened to yall during those times!

I've said this once and I'll say it again, Scorpio Mars are some of the most PERSISTENT people I've ever seen. When it comes to their desires, NOTHING stands in their way. However this can be detrimental if it's bad habits like drinking, smoking, stealing, ect. One way or another they will get what they want, even if it costs them everything. These people can truly be the victim of their own desires. Honorary mention- Taurus and Leo Mars.

Listen, if you ever need someone to promote your music, call an Aquarius Venus/Dominant person. I swear to god these people listen to the most obscure, outta pocket things I've ever heard.

Taurus 6th/5th housers tend to be those people at work that live by the slow and steady motto. They don't like to rush and do a sloppy job on whatever their working on.

On the other hand, Aries 6th/5th housers may be very fast workers, and it usually works well for them, works well under pressure. not the most thorough people but for the most part they get the job done.

People with a lot of Gemini and Leo placements in their chart tend to give off Aries energy.

Capricorn and Scorpio relationships are literally ride or die. I know a couple with many of these placements and they are so possessive of each other. Even after heated arguments and many hardships, they always come back together and work out their issues, it's really sweet!

When in an awkward situation, Libra Risings tend to try and break the tension first. Sometimes they can make the situation more awkward doing this but they're always the ones to bring the vibes back to the way they were, so I appreciate it. Gemini Risings may also do this but can be slightly more unhinged in their methods. I love both regardless for it😭💕.

The reason puberty for all of us hits hard is because it's around this time that Saturn is usually in the sign opposite from our Saturn sign. It makes a lot of sense when you think about it, itcchanges a lot of what we focus on and introduces us to new struggles. Although with Saturn retrograde, the age of which these changes can affect us can range from 13 all the way up to 25. Saturn is trying to toughen us up before we become adults.

What your Rising Sign's season is may be the season/months you prefer. For example, I'm a Sagittarius Rising and I tend to like late fall/early winter.

Your Moon sign can show how you process not just your emotions, but how you handle other peoples emotions, and how you relate to them. For example, a Leo Moon may relate to others by thinking of themselves in someone elses shoes, and how they would handle situations. While a Gemini Moon may relate other peoples emotions with stories from others that they've heard, and use what they've observed from other people to help others.

Venus PC Moon can also show this, I'd look at both sign's relationship to see the full picture of how one truly processes theirs and others emotions.

Moon/Pluto Aspects in someone's chart can show a relationship where however the mother treats the native, is how the native will end up treating her as they get older. For example, if the mother was negligent to the native in their younger years, then as they get older they will have a detached and impersonal attitude towards her. Basically the natives mirror how they were nurtured in youth.

"She say do you love me, I tell her only partly. I only love my bed and my mama I'm sorry." -Drake, a Cancer Moon.

People who say Gemini/Libra placements are indecisive have CLEARLY never met someone with many personal fire placements, especially if it's their top 3. Fire sign energy is naturally high and can be all over the place sometimes, this can include their thoughts and decision making as well, mostly concerning the direction of their passions and work. They may have a million ideas of what they're about to do but have trouble slowing down and planning it all out into managable chunks at a time. Will fight for what they want but may have trouble picking their battles wisely.

HEY HEY, new post! I actually had this one in the drafts for awhile! I just got around to posting it now! I haven't been on at all lately because I'm having trouble finding what else to post about. Sooo I'm thinking of doing a little zodiac game soon since I want to practice my art more :] .

More Nitro Nexus art!! I'm not sure when I'll be officially starting my Anthro's Anthem series with him but if I'm being honest I probably won't be releasing the first official chapter until like 2025-2026. I have a lot planned for it but I don't know when I'll get around to it. Only time will tell!

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zeezelweazel · 5 months

Note

For an alexia fic you could do one where shes super jealous of reader talking to an old friend or getting too close to a teammate and then roll with the jealous smut ✌️

Alexia Putellas| Does she do you better?|

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I think I've become a pro at jealous smut at this point

First top Alexia fic let's gooo (sorry if this was cringe af I'm not used to writing top ale)

TW: possessiveness, light choking (reader receiving), fingering (reader receiving), degradation, afab reader

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After Alexia's injury, practice was weird. She was there but she wasn't training with the rest of you. Instead she had a team of physicians instructing her with some specific drills she had to do. You obviously understand that her situation requires for her to be under special training but training sessions aren't as fun as they used to without her.

Ona quickly noticed how unfocused and quiet you were during training. The freckled spaniard did everything she could to cheer you up during training. You two could often be seen laughing and teasing eachother. Like right now, when you're chasing Ona with a water bottle filled with cold water after she dumped her own water on your head.

Ona is panting and frantically looking around the pitch trying to escape but she's too late. Suddenly she's hit with a wave of ice cold water and she's left standing like an ice pillar, gasping at the cold water in shock. You laugh at her face, completely uncaring about her shivering. Ona glares at you and punches your arm which only makes you laugh harder.

While you're having fun with Ona, you're completely unaware that a pair of hazel eyes is pinned on your laughing form. Alexia is sitting on the bleachers with a deadly glare and her jaw clenched tightly.

"You okay Ale?"

She barely turns her head to look at Mapi and only humms a response. Mapi frowns and follows her best friend's line of sight. A look of realisation crosses her face when she sees you and Ona. She's been waiting for Alexia to blow up about this for a long time. Mapi only smirks before walking away.

You're currently packing all your stuff in your training bag, tired and more than ready to head home. As you turn around to look for Alexia you take a step back in surprise when the woman in question appears right behind you.

"Ale you scared me to death, what are you-"

Before you can finish your sentence Alexia pulls you into her by grabbing your biceps and forces your mouths together in a heated and rough kiss. Her tongue enters your mouth and her hands find place at your neck and you moan when she squeezes.

Alexia pulls back after a few seconds, panting but not pulling away from you, with her hands still resting on your neck.

"Alexia, what is this?"

Alexia's jaw sets and her eyebrows frow dangerously. She pushes you down on the benches and forcibly raises your head so you're looking up at her, your eyes wide but dark with lust and desire. Alexia only seems to get angrier.

"You dirty slut. You like being passed around huh? Like a common whore."

Alexia's words were harsh and you had to resist the urge to rub your thighs together. You didn't know what she was referring to, or what caused any of this but currently you didn't care. You just wanted her to fuck you.

When Alexia notices your lack of response she climbs on top of you and starts harshly bitting your neck. Her teeth leave ugly marks all over your and you can only helplessly moan. You spread your legs wider, hoping that Alexia would get the hint but you doubt that she wants to pleasure you right now. This feels more like a punishment but you don't know why.

Alexia's hands sneak into your training shirt and grope at your breasts roughly pulling and twisting your nipples. You whine and throw your head back bringing your hands up to twist them in her blonde hair. The stinging pain mixed with the pleasure feels so good, you're certain that your panties are ruined with how wet you are right now.

"Please, Ale..."

Alexia pulls away from your neck, which is the last thing you wanted her to do. Her hands keep lazily working on your breasts as she stares you down with an icy glare.

"You're begging already. Would you beg for her this easily?"

You choke on a gasp when her hands return to your neck and your mind starts to turn. It all finally clicked.

Alexia was jealous.

You gulp and look up at her through your eyelashes.

"No."

Alexia's face twisted like she didn't believe you. Then in an instant her hands gripped the hem of your shirt and pulled it over your head. Your bra followed soon after and so you were left sitting on the bench in the locker room topples and ready to be fucked by Alexia. For this moment it's like both you and Alexia have completely forgotten you're in a public place.

Alexia doesn't waste any time. She pulls your hips closer to her and her hands move down your legs, teasing the inside of your thighs. Her lips move down your collarbone and your hips are starting to shift against the hard wood, you grip the bench with one hand and use the other to try and muffle all of your moans.

Her fingers move to rub you through your underwear and you throw your head back as you gasp in surprise and pleasure. You think about begging again but Alexia is shoving two fingers in your cunt before you can think twice about it. You find it much harder to keep quiet now that she's roughly moving her fingers inside you. She moves her head away from your collarbone and starts placing kisses on your neck, right over the marks she left on you earlier. When she's done she moves higher until her hot breath hits the shell of your ear.

"Who does this pussy belong to? "

You whine at her words and the movement of her hand. You don't have the mind to answer right now and Alexia only gets rougher in response. Her other hand comes down to pinch your clit and you yelp loudly.

"I asked you a fucking question."

Her hand was moving faster and your back was repeatedly hitting the lockers, the clanking noise joining in with your moans and the wet, filthy sounds coming from your pussy.

"You! My pussy is yours, all yours!"

Alexia groaned at your answer, obviously pleased with you. She kept fucking you, pulling you in for a rough kiss to quiet you down. The noises were bound to attract someone but maybe that turned you on even more.

You came with a muffled scream as your thighs shook and your walls clamped down on Alexia's hand. Alexia found a random towel to clean you both up and sits down next to you. You both sit in a quiet embrace for a while before you break the silence with a giggle.

"I guess I should thank Ona, huh?"

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#wlw #female reader #smut #alexia putellas #alexia putellas smut #alexia putellas imagine #alexia putellas x reader #woso x reader #woso smut #woso imagine #woso

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sirenologyyy · 5 months

Text

RIGHT SIDE OF MY NECK!

neteyam x fem!metkayina reader

✧ summary : a certain sully boy can't admit he's smitten by one of the daughters of the olo'eyktan, but why would he? he's calculated and discerning and she's everything he wished he was.

✧ warnings : swearing (that's pretty much it LMAO)

✧ author's note : neteyam's 15, reader is older than tsireya by a year or so, some much needed lo'ak and neteyam brotherly bonding (after the trauma inducing hellscape that was atwow), lo'ak talking like a regular teenage boy, and in honor of it being December again, may i present to you, a neteyam fic that has been rotting in my drafts since April 🤩

A gravelly groan escapes your lips as your hands managed to shield your face, almost to hide yourself from the undisputable truth that you, along with your Tsireya, and your older brother Ao'nung had been roped into the evident mess that was to teach the children of Toruk Makto the ways of the Metkayina.

You weren't as prejudiced as Ao'nung, sneering at the Sully children whenever he'd run into them, so meticulously influenced by your mother's dislike towards Skypeople, let alone the Omaticaya.

You weren't as welcoming as your younger sister, who had greeted them with big grins that only further accentuated her dimples and her devout willingness to help Toruk Makto's family in any way she could. While you had resorted to mirthless smiles and polite nods whenever you'd come across one of them, it was unnatural, yes, Ao'nung was quite unfair with his treatment towards them, yes, but Tsireya's overall cheer and joviality was something you could not for the life of you reciprocate.

You were fine with them being here, although you couldn't say the same for most of your people.

The only real thorn in your side was the oldest.

Neteyam.

Oh how your blood boiled whenever you'd spot him in the crowd. Always so eager to help, so eager to please, so perfect, so good, it made you want to punch the living daylights out of him... Well, only slightly, that may be an exaggeration. Your hate for him might be particularly irrational but valid in all the worst ways.

"Can't you tell them I've been bitten by something?"

"No" Tsireya snorts.

"I've slipped collecting coconuts and dislocated my ankle"

"Stop moving so much sister, or I will mess up your hair"

It was like he was so anxious about keeping up the golden boy facade, what a show off, you thought. Going out of his way to help any way he could, helping carry baskets of dried fish across the village, pushing heavy boats off to sea, weaving baskets, seeing to the ilus, even the tsuraks at one point. It infuriated you. What did he had to gain?

If there was one thing you despised, it was try-hards.

And Neteyam Sully was the bane of your existence.

"Oh!" You had exclaimed, snapping your fingers. "You can tell them I have fallen off my ilu and got ripped apart by an akula"

Tsireya laughed. "Yes, like they would believe me"

With another scoff, you stare st your sister through the mirror, so engrossed in the braiding technique you'd requested for her to do on your hair. "I don't see why you're bringing me into your affairs sister, it is clear as day you only want to help out the Forest People because you like the way that boy kept looking at you yesterday"

Tsireya tugs at your half-finished braid, making you swear and rub at your head, bringing Tsireya some amusement out of this. "Now, be quiet, be still, let me do my job"

With a sour mood, you allow Tsireya to thread the shells you requested she put in, sitting up straighter. "Your job in being an absolute bitch?"

Tsireya sighs again, feeling her slump in frustration behind you. "Do you think it is so easy a job for me to constantly deal with your attitude?"

A smirk comes to your face as Tsireya knots your braid off. "Don't worry, all your efforts will be seen by Eywa, she might even make the boy tell you your hair looks nice today"

"Enough, Y/N" Tsireya says, standing up from her seat.

You stood as well, hooking your arm around Tsireya's as you left your pod. "Oh let me have my fun"

A dozen morbid thoughts suddenly flood Tsireya's mind. "If we do that I am afraid there will be nothing left of Awa'atlu when you are finished"

When you arrive, you immediately spot both the brothers sitting on the edge of the woven platform, their long legs dangling just above the water. They looked to be so immersed in a conversation that neither of them noticed you or Tsireya approach them, only when they were about 4 feet apart was when you clicked your tongue against the roof of your mouth.

"Oh great mother, is it just the two of you?" Says you, making both the boys stand up like springs.

"No, our sisters are coming, they aren't exactly good at being early to things" says the younger one, his eyes flicking to Tsireya every now and then, making you dizzy trying to hold eye contact with the boy.

"Hey Tsireya" He finally says, nodding at her sister who laughs again. It took everything in you not to start dry-heaving in front of them.

"Why do you sound so disappointed?" Neteyam wonders, another smirk playing at his thin lips as he looks at you.

Your forehead creases. "I am nothing of the sort, what about you? What has gotten you so chipper?"

"Nothing all that special, really" He replied, not even convincing himself.

You heftily exhaled through your nose, moving away from the group and walking up on the platform, taking one of the seaweed bands on your arm to bunch your hair up just to get it out of your face. Once you'd pull your hair through the band the final time, you turned around just to see Neteyam's head turn away, almost like it was a chain reaction.

You placed your hands over the dip of your hips, facing the odd group. "Now, where has our dear brother wandered off to? It's almost noon and he is nowhere in sight"

This makes the rest of them look around for Ao'nung, even the two brothers who you'd assumed wanted nothing to do with him after your brother had showed his blatant contempt towards them after he'd ridiculed them during their arrival.

"He must still be with Rotxo and the others, we must be patient" says Tsireya.

Your mind remained closed, throwing your hands up in the air only for them to land on her hips with a thwack. "We both know Ao'nung does not move like the tide, he is too stubborn, too hard in the head " you found yourself saying, prodding a finger at your forehead.

"Patience, sister" Tsireya admonishes calmly, making her way towards you as you placed your hands on the identation of your woven skirt. "We must not rush things, we allow things to come to us at their own pace"

"Alright, alright" you tell her half-heartedly.

"Hey! Sorry, are we late?"

You turn her head to spot the two Sully sisters jogging up to the beach, the youngest out of all of them went straight for Neteyam, watching as he scooped her up with no hesitation. "Where in Eywa's name were you two?" Neteyam wonders, eyeing his sisters curiously.

The older girl rolled her eyes, pointing her chin at the youngest. "Couldn't decide on which skirt she wanted to wear"

The little girl pouts. "I didn't know which one I wanted!" She protested, her ears drooping down.

"She had two to choose from" the older sister groaned. Eyes finding yours as her grin widens, you chuckle to yourselves, having sisters was never a dull moment.

You two had bonded over that when you first helped her with her chores, although she seemed reluctant at first she accepted. Neither of you got anything done as you both found that snacking on dried seaweed and exchanging stories about your lives proved to be more fun.

"Maybe he isn't coming" says Neteyam's younger brother, subtly inching towards Tsireya while keeping everyone under the impression that he was trying to find Ao'nung just like she was, but in truth, all he wanted was to stand beside her. Tsireya didn't pick up on it at all, being the oblivious person she was, but Neteyam did, quietly chuckling to himself as he puts Tuk down, watching as she sprints towards the sand at full speed.

You shook your head at the sound of Tsireya's giggles and walks off the diving platform as well, making your way towards the beach to stretch your legs, walking along the coastline trying to kill time. That is until something tugs at your skirt, you turned around to see who it was but then looks down to see Neteyam's youngest sister, proudly holding a small conch shell in her hands, beaming up at you.

"They look just like the ones in your hair!" She exclaimed, a gigantic grin spreading across her face as you crouched to her level, taking the shell from her hands to study it. "It's a light purple, you don't have any purple shells yet"

"You're right, I don't have any purple shells in my hair yet do I?" You say in genuine amazement, holding it up against the sun, feeling the little girl scoot closer to you, but the shell had suddenly started to sprout 6 legs and you dropped it, startled by the animal and by the little girl's scream, you watch as it scurries back into the water, gone forever.

You turned back to the little girl who was visibly upset, another frown slowly forming on her face before you placed your hands on the little girl's shoulders. "Hey, we'll find another one around here somewhere, don't be upset"

She huffed, her shoulders rising and falling. "I didn't know there was something inside it, I really didn't"

You shook your head. "Neither did I, we both didn't know" you assured the younger girl, cupping her round face as her frown slowly started to shift into a smile. "Look, if we need to do this properly and find shells for my hair, I'm gunna need to know your name"

"Tuk!" She says. "My name's Tuk!"

"It's very nice to meet you Tuk"

"Really?" She giggled as you nodded. "What about you? What's your name?"

You beckoned her closer with a simple gesture of your fingers as you whispered your name into her ear.

"You've got a very pretty name" Tuk whispers as well, hiding her face behind her hands as she giggled.

"So do you" You had whispered all the same.

Tuk then looks back at the diving platform, and then back at you. "Y'know I think my brother is staring at you"

"Oh yeah? Why do you think that is so?"

The little girl scratches her head. "I don't know, he only stares at things he thinks looks nice or looks weird"

You grinned. "Does your brother think I look nice or weird?"

Tuk blinks. "I don't think you look weird"

"Would he think that?" Ka'leia emphasized.

"Probably" Tuk replies honestly, looking back at the diving platform again. "Why else does he keep staring at you?"

It made you think, it made your mind spiral into the bottomless void of memories in which you had caught a pair of warm amber eyes catch yours, and every time you did it made your heart stutter, however unfortunate it may be. "I'm not so sure either"

"Neteyam's weird" Tuk deduced.

You snort. "Yeah, he's weird"

Silence settles between you, but not for long as Tuk takes your hand and pulls you up. "Can we go and find shells now? Then we can put them in your hair! Then you'll look pretty!"

"Am I not pretty now?"

"No, not really" says Tuk, swinging your interlocked arms back and forth as her wide eyes scanned the sand.

"No?" You wonder almost scandalised, "alright " you nod.

You and Tuk spent a good couple of minutes digging holes on the beach to fish out the shells that had been buried underneath the sand, conch shells, shards of shells, fossils, rocks, bits and pieces of coral, if it was pretty enough for Tuk's standards she's adding it to her pile.

5 minutes later you're following her around with an armful of tiny shells, half the beach full of holes from Tuk and her makeshift shovel that had originally been a branch, with her screaming in delight when she's spotted another one, hurriedly running to you to add it in with the rest.

Lo'ak abruptly places his hands on Neteyam's shoulders, purposefully trying to scare him but Neteyam does not flinch at all. "Yo bro, you got a staring problem or something?" He wonders in English, stepping beside Neteyam to look out into the beach too.

"You done flirting with Tsireya?" Neteyam shot back.

Lo'ak huffed. "Pfft, me? Tsireya?"

"I know your tell, your tail's a dead giveaway"

Lo'ak laughs, punching Neteyam's shoulder, finally making the older boy turn to face him. "Yo! Shut your ass up!"

Neteyam chuckles. "No one else here understands English bro, we're fine!"

Lo'ak shook his head. "I'm not worried about the Metkayina, I'm worried about that devil right there" He says, pointing at the beach.

Neteyam looks at the direction where Lo'ak was pointing. "Who? Tuk?

"She's got spot on hearing, incredible memory," Lo'ak listed. "If I'd have known how much of a tattletail she'd be I'd have abandoned her in the forest when she was a baby"

Neteyam frowns, laughing. "Yes, and when I'd get home I'd find your extra finger in my stew"

Lo'ak grimaces, almost gagging as Neteyam wiggles one of his fingers at him. "Disgusting!"

Neteyam cackles loudly, watching as Lo'ak covered his mouth. "You're overreacting!" He tells him.

"Nah bro, you don't get to fill my mind with those kinda thoughts" Lo'ak says.

Neteyam places a hand on his back. "Face it baby bro, i'm in your head"

Lo'ak pushes it away, chuckling. "Lay off!"

"Will you two ever go a day without fighting eachother?" Kiri asks, giving them a look.

"Not sure" says Lo'ak. "But I wouldn't hold my breath"

Kiri rolled her eyes and Lo'ak turns to Neteyam again. "If Ao'nung isn't coming then we might as well fetch him, if you catch my drift"

Neteyam shakes his head, his braids swishing from side to side. "No, we will do no such thing"

Lo'ak half shrugs, already moving away. "Fine, if you won't then I will"

Neteyam grabs his arm, stopping his brother in his tracks. "Hey, what did dad say?"

He pretends to think. "Not sure, something about you being the next poster boy of the clan?"

Neteyam flicks a finger on Lo'ak's forehead, making the younger boy hiss. "No, you skxawng, he wants us to be on our best behavior, and I don't want to be stopping you from pulling another shitty stunt that'll get you in trouble"

"Fine" Lo'ak says. "I'll go check up on Tuk," He tells Neteyam unconvincingly, scratching the side of his head. "What's up with you and wanting to stay on the beach?"

Neteyam's jaw tightens. "There's nothing that's keeping me here except my promise to dad"

"Uh-huh" Lo'ak nods, eyes flicking to you and Tuk. "Nothing or no one?"

"I don't know what you're talking about"

Lo'ak frowns, pretending he understood. "She's pretty hot"

Neteyam pays him no mind, only scoffing.

"She still avoiding you?" Lo'ak asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Yes, and I can't seem to find the reason why" Neteyam huffed.

Lo'ak snickers. "Maybe it's cuz you're coming off a little too strong"

"I don't know how else I can get her to talk to me without her insulting every fibre of my being or making up some excuse to leave, I've tried everything" He replies desperately, causing Lo'ak's eyes to go wide, a whistle leaving his mouth. "Damn that bad??? What the hell did you do to her to make you hate her this much?"

Neteyam rakes his face with dread. "I don't know baby bro, but you have no idea what I would do to find out the reason why"

His brother was too down-bad to be saved, Lo'ak knew that much, looking across the beach as he studies you with his little sister. Neteyam looks at his brother, his eyes seemingly trained on you as it flicks up and down, he slaps his brother's arm. "It's rude to stare"

"Yeah, go tell that to them" Says Lo'ak, pointing at a handful of Metkayin boys passing by, giving you stolen glances as they talked amongst themselves, chuckling and hooting.

Neteyam's eyes narrow into slits. "They're irrelevant, we must not let ourselves become like them"

Lo'ak glances at him, clearly unconvinced. "Yeah, okay, so stop looking"

"Fine, I won't" Neteyam replies quickly, watching Lo'ak turn around and walk to the edge of the platform. But he dosen't stop looking, he hated himself for it for it and the way that it was practically eating himself alive.

Wasn't it such a simple task? To turn his head around and look somewhere else? Well it should be, but Neteyam couldn't bring himself to pry his eyes away from you, you, oh Eywa. Your eyes were the colour of the sea, your hair shiny and black, your smile making his stomach twist itself into knots, your laugh making shivers run up his back, the way you dressed alone would make people turn heads, but your attitude was what drew Neteyam in.

You didn't feel the need to keep up this respectful facade, treat him like a guest because it was expected of you as the daughter of the Olo'eyktan, no, you treated him the way you thought of him.

You were rude, you were impolite, and you were blunt, because you didn't like him. You didn't feel inclined to tolerate him just like what was expected of you. He wished he was that brave.

"'Teyam! 'Teyam look what I got!" Tuk squealed as the pair of you walked up the diving platform carrying mountains of shells on your palms. "Y/N told me she and 'Reya could put these in my hair after diving lessons! Isn't that cool?!?"

"Oh Tuk, you didn't force her into braiding your hair did you?"

Tuk looks back at you for moral support. "But she said she would-"

"-Neteyam let her be, if she wants me to braid her hair then I'd be happy to" you had jumped in, siding with Tuk whose ears flicked upwards at her statement. "I hope it isn't too infuriating that I favour your sisters over you"

Neteyam wanted to scoff, but instead stifles it with a tight smile. "Nonsense, my sisters have that effect on everyone" He tells her, looking at Tuk. "Don't you?"

Tuk simply gives him a giggle, a swift nod, and then runs to Kiri, shouting her name over and over again before the older girl groans in acknowledgement. "Here," you say, handing him a conch shell with yellow and brown patterns ruminating on its surface.

"What's this for?" He wonders.

"Your sister practically dug up the entire beach, you deserve at least one" you chuckled.

Oh. He stares at the shell in your hands, then looks back at your face. "If I take this does this mean we'll be friends?" He asks, a sly smile breaking on his face.

"Oh you wish" You reply, smirking as you narrow your eyss at the boy. "Taking this won't change anything"

"Yes it does," He replies as a matter of factly. "this is the longest conversation we've ever had without you leaving or insulting me"

"No it dosen't" You shook your head, insistent. "I'll still hate you after this"

He hums. "I think I can live with that," He smiled. "I did get a gift from the daughter of the Olo'eyktan after all" He laughs when he hears you scoff.

You leave right after he takes it and right before he could say thank you. Walking off to find a basket to store more of Tuk's shells in.

Neteyam looks at the shell in his hands, about 2 and a half inches long, smooth, shiny, perfect, it was perfect. He loves it. He closes his fist, a smile breaking on his face before he could even relent it, a light purple tinting his cheeks as he places the shell in one of his pockets.

#avatar the way of water #neteyam sully x reader #neteyam sully x y/n #neteyam sully #neteyam x reader #neteyam x you #atwow neteyam #neteyam x metkayina!reader

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katyusha454 · 16 days

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I think I've found the most tragic ship in BG3 and I need to rant about it

I've seen a decent number of people discuss and write about Dark Justiciar Shadowheart, but they always focus on what she's like post-game when she's fully committed to Shar. Which is a fine thing to focus on! Especially when you're writing smut where she's a mean domme. Post-game DJ Shadowheart is a fascinating character. But I feel like people neglect to consider what she's like during the transition phase of Act 3, where she's become Shar's Chosen but hasn't yet Done The Thing that caps off her personal questline. And there is SO MUCH potential for angst and drama during that time frame.

IMO the most important aspect of this stage of her development is that she is not evil yet. She simply made a single bad decision and now she feels like she's in too deep to do anything but double down on it. She's spent her whole life trying to "fake it 'till you make it" and she's only just now starting to transition out of that and into sincere belief. All the misgivings and insecurities she's shared with you are still there, just buried deeper. That desire to love others and do good hasn't yet been completely stamped out. In my Dark Justiciar Origin run, I try to do good things whenever possible as long as I can find a way to rationalize it as benefiting Shar. (but I still ended up saying enough evil-sounding things to make Minthara incredibly horny for me)

So where does Karlach fit in?

Well, turns out when you play as Origin Shadowheart, Shar doesn't make you break up with your partner. In fact, Shar says absolutely nothing to you about your romantic situation. This is really weird if you're romancing anyone other than Karlach, but I think it makes perfect sense for Shar to tolerate a relationship with Karlach for the time being. It's the ideal opportunity for Shar to prove a point. Karlach is dying, and no matter what Shadowheart does, this relationship is going to end in painful loss. Shar wants Shadowheart to fall in love with Karlach only to have that love abruptly ripped away from her. It perfectly demonstrates everything Shar believes about love: that it's fleeting and will always hurt you in the long run. Better to just avoid it entirely so you don't get hurt.

And Shadowheart knows all this. She's studied Sharran scripture extensively, after all. She knows that Shar is trying to teach her a lesson, she knows that the longer the relationship lasts and the more emotionally intimate it gets, the more the end is going to hurt. So why doesn't she break it off? Partly it's because she loves Karlach and doesn't want to end things; she's probably in denial at least a little bit. But I think it's also partly because she's a bit of a masochist. She thinks she deserves to suffer because she knows, at least subconsciously, that she's still not a very good Sharran. She can see the loss coming and she hopes the experience will bring her closer to Shar.

You'd think Karlach would be unwilling to put up with DJ Shadowheart's fanatical bullshit, but personally I think Karlach would stick it out for a whole mess of reasons. Number one, she can still see the good in Shadowheart and she refuses to give up on her partner. She's clinging tightly to the hope that Shadowheart can still be redeemed, even though she probably understands that it's a long shot at best.

Number two, she blames herself. When you play as Tav/Durge or another Origin, Shadowheart will have a conversation with you before deciding what to do in the Shadowfell. But if you play as Shadowheart, none of your companions says a word to you. In the context of this ship, I choose to interpret that as Karlach being too trusting. She's seen the good in Shadowheart, after all. She's so certain Shadowheart will do the right thing that she doesn't think she needs to speak up. It's not until too late that she realizes what Shadowheart needed was for someone to say "hey, are you sure about this?" So now she feels she needs to make up for that failure somehow by continuing to try and nudge Shadowheart in the right direction even though it seems impossible.

And number three, Karlach's just plain lonely. As fucked-up as this relationship is, she's still getting companionship and intimacy, and she doesn't think she has time to cultivate a new relationship if she breaks up with Shadowheart. She wants someone to be with her and hold her hand at the end, even if that someone is a brainwashed cultist.

In sum, both of them know that their relationship is extremely unhealthy; that it's hurting them now and will hurt them more in the future. But they both refuse to end it for their own reasons. And good gods, the ANGST. ARE YOU FEELING IT NOW, MISTER KRABS?

#baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #bg3 #shadowheart #karlach #shadowlach #dark justiciar shadowheart

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shikai-the-storyteller · 11 months

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The Federation, The Census Bureau, QSMP, Cucurucho, and Roier

Something fishy is going on regarding Roier and the higher powers of the QSMP, and after chatting with @kasiobite, I've realized that things are a lot more complicated than we first thought.

We do know a few things though:

Roier considered Cucurucho a friend for a long time (he doesn't anymore after Bobby's death)

Cucurucho was, and has always been, very fond of Roier

Cucurucho seemed happiest when it was with Roier

Cucurucho does not always represent the QSMP. Sometimes, it specifically says it represents the Federation. (Are these two different forces on the Island?)

The most we've ever learned about Cucurucho has been when it's spoken with Roier

Roier has told Cucurucho he loved it

Roier thinks Cucurucho is being controlled by the Island / the Federation and wanted to help free it

The Cucurucho we knew at the beginning of the series and the Cucurucho we know now act differently. Many believe this is because it was punished for its feelings for Roier, and its memory was altered.

When describing Cucurucho to Bobby, Roier (who seems to understand Cucurucho best) said this:

"I think Cucurucho is sad. It's just that, I remember I used to hang out with him a lot when I first came to this Island. I hung out with him a lot. He always came to see me and help me. But from one moment to the next, I realize that he had changed. He stopped being so kind to me, and in fact he gave me a book. He had been telling me for many days that he was going to stop bothering me, it seems like he was scolded, but he acts like nothing's wrong. He acts like everything is fine, but I feel like they are forcing him. He's sad. He doesn't show it, but he wrote me a sad face."

Let's break down the details day by day:

[UPDATED: June 4]

Day 1 - 3 - Establishing a bond

Since the beginning, Cucurucho had a very playful relationship with Roier. It enjoyed surprising / scaring Roier with its sudden appearance, and after a certain point, Roier began to expect Cucurucho's presence whenever he called it.

And sure enough, whenever Roier called it, Cucurucho came.

There's a lot of playful teasing between the two of them, and these first three days best exhibit Cucurucho's personality.

When Roier wanted to create a taco truck, he searched the Island for all the ingredients he needed, but had no luck finding tomatillo seeds. Cucurucho appears suddenly before him, and after whacking him on the head, it offers him... some tomato seeds.

Roier gets excited until he realizes what the seeds are, and when Cucurucho realizes its mistake, it digs itself a hole and jumps in. Cucurucho seems genuinely embarrassed by its mistake, and its the most expressive we've ever seen Cucurucho be.

What's interesting is that, even outside of its interactions with Roier, Cucurucho's mind always seems to circle back to him.

On Day 3, Cucurucho hangs out with Mariana for 10 minutes in a cave before giving him a book that says "Tell me everything you know about Roier." (Note: this is completely unprompted by anything)

Mariana, having absolutely zero sense of self-preservation, proceeds to tease Cucurucho about its crush on Roier so much it would put an entire class of Kindergarten children to shame.

Mariana: You like Roier, don't you? You like Roier man! You like him! Ohhhhhhhhh~!!! You like him!!!!

(He also asks Cucurucho if it wants Roier's number).

Cucurucho then shoots and kills Mariana (lmao) but eventually does revive him. It seems to get frustrated when Mariana doesn't give it any information it deems "helpful" and starts digging pits and running back and forth. When Mariana asks what kind of information Cucurucho wants, it says "classified" and refuses to elaborate.

Day 4 - Last day with "our" Cucurucho

This is the first time we get a hint that there are multiple Cucuruchos [Timestamp 3h 52m]. Cucurucho appears in Roier's basement, and is also at the top of the stairs when Roier goes up, then back downstairs when Roier goes down. Roier is, understandably, a little freaked out, but he shakes it off pretty quickly. Cucurucho is a bit playful with Roier, and just… hangs out with him for no apparent reason. Roier even asks Cucurucho "Are you having a good time here?" and Cucurucho nods. Roier seems happy at the response, saying "this is your house."

Roier gives him his first taco [Timestamp: 3h 56m], having made a deal with Cucurucho that he'd give it 10 tacos (and more) in exchange for one taco from Cucurucho. It hurts his feelings that Cucurucho doesn't have an enthusiastic reaction about the taco, and after he makes a huevo joke and Cucurucho shooting him then pretends like nothing happened, Roier feels really bad. Roier tells Cucurucho it can't treat him like this and pouts for a bit.

When he tries asking Cucurucho its name, it just responds with "no" and when Roier tries asking it why there are two of them, the upstairs one says "I don't know." Roier asks Cucurucho to let him go so he can get more materials to make more tacos, and Cucurucho tells him no.

While waiting for Cucurucho to finish writing him an answer via book, Roier gives Cucurucho back the amapola (poppy) it gave him earlier, pretending to spit at him because he's mad [Timestamp 3h 58m 50s]. Cucurucho hands him a book that says "Finish what I told you." They part ways with Roier (half-jokingly) saying, "You know what Osito Bimbo, you know what? I'm tired of you treating me badly. You and I are no longer friends," and dramatically logs out.

Day 5 - A Final Message

Roier logs in and immediately finds potted amopola (poppies) in his house. At the top of the stairs is another singular amapola, two tacos, and this book:

Translation: 0037. Through this I want to express my most sincere apologies for treating you as a slave. We are sorry for any discomfort I may have caused you. We hope you continue to enjoy the island at its best. You won't see me, but I will see you. Best regards, Federal QSMP Commission

There are a few things weird with this message, namely the fact that it's signed by the Federal QSMP Commission, and the use of "I" vs "We" in several places (though I chock that up to translation inconsistencies, so YMMV).

I briefly wondered what the significance of 0037 was before I remembered that was Roier's ticket number.

Why refer to him by a number instead of a name? Does this confirm that they're all part of an experiment?

Anyways, Roier says, "No! No!!! I want to keep seeing you Osito!" and responds to that message with this:

Translation: Hello my dear Osito Bimbo :) I like you, please keep showing up. And that's all, uwu

As far as I'm aware, none of the books from Osito Bimbo up until this point used smiley-faces, but after this, Cucurucho started using them in some of its books. Did it learn that from Roier?

(To give you a timeframe reference for where we are: this same day, Roier is later betrayed by Spreen and Quackity. In one fell swoop, Roier lost many of the people he cared about, and who cared about him, all in one day.)

Day 6

[Timestamp 2h 32m] Quackity says he doesn't want to give any spoilers, but he warns Fit, Vegetta, and Roier to be careful around Cucurucho.

Day 10 - Cucurucho is back, but isn't the same

[Timestamp: 2h 12m 30s] At the adoption center (where Mariana is trying to comfort JuanaFlippa, who says she wants a new family) Roier sees Osito Bimbo spying on them and chases after it, but it vanishes.

Later, while Roier is with Jaiden, he tells her there's more than one Cucurucho, then sees Cucurucho standing on top of one of the buildings near spawn / the wall. Roier tells Cucurucho, "Come here! I missed you!" Cucurucho doesn't come. For whatever reason, Jaiden can't see it. Roier says to Cucurucho, "Ok, well maybe later I can see you in my house. You are going to come, because I know you! I know you like the back of my hand" (Cucurucho shakes its head "no" at this)

[Timestamp 2h 59m] After Roier and Jaiden put Bobby to bed and Jaiden logs out, Roier does a few laps around the castle while talking to Chat. When he comes back a few minutes later, he finds the entry to Bobby's room blocked off and a sign in front of it that reads: "Don't touch your son."

Here's where things get interesting: for context, between this stream and the last time Roier streamed on the QSMP, Mariana and Slimecicle broke into Leonarda's house and misclicked the bed. Since then, a new rule was implemented on the server saying that if an Egg's bed breaks, they lose a life.

Was Cucurucho trying to warn Roier, and potentially save Bobby's life?

Anyways, Roier immediately breaks the blocks and runs upstairs to check on Bobby. He laughs, thinking Bobby is playing a prank on him, then realizes Bobby (and the admin) isn't logged in. He then asks, "Cucurucho?" out loud and starts looking around for it. Roier starts theorizing, saying no one can get through his door since he has a whitelist and only a few people can enter. He checks the house for any weakpoints that someone could sneak in through, but there are none, and he determines that Bobby is safe.

Roier mentions that Cucurucho isn't acting like its usual self. When they do finally meet again in the castle courtyard, Cucurucho keeps its distance from him.

Roier: Well, I'm here, is there anything you want to ask me? I've seen you around, watching me. Do you want to know something about me?

Cucurucho: Classified.

Roier: Are you holding a book? Why haven't you visited me? Tell me.

Cucurucho: Classified

Roier: Ouch, now you don't want to tell me anything. Do you not like me anymore?

Cucurucho: ...

Roier: Do you not like me anymore? I thought we… I thought we were buddies.

Cucurucho: Maybe. I don't know.

[ A short time later, Roier starts singing a song and doing a little dance for Cucurucho ]

Roier: – And that's how it went. Huh? Don't you remember? How come you don't remember? Those were good times, when we spent time together! How come you don't remember? Remember!!!!

Cucurucho: I don't know (It repeats this several times)

Roier: No you DO know! Come down. First of all, come down. Why are you talking to me from up there? Come down, don't be so rude.

Cucurucho: No. (Repeated several times)

Roier: Come on, why not? Come! Are you jealous?* *(He says "Ta celoso", celoso is jealous and oso is bear, so he's making a pun)

Cucurucho: Enjoy the Island. (Turns to leave)

Roier: I do enjoy it a lot, Osito! Osito!

Roier runs after Cucurucho and confronts it yet again. Cucurucho gives him a book that has his ticket number in it, then tries to leave again.

[Timestamp 3h 7m] Roier follows it, even digging to go underground with it to keep up, asking why it gave him a book with his train ticket number on it.

Roier: Stop playing a fool, where are you going? I won't stop following you

Cucurucho: [ Fires two warning shots on either side of Roier ]

Roier: What, are you going to kill me? Come on, kill me! Shoot me! Kill me! Murder me right here! Are you going to leave a child without a father? Are you going to leave Jaiden without a partner?

Cucurucho opts to run away, and Roier continues following it until it goes somewhere he can't (under lava) leaving him shouting, "You can't leave me like this!"

Day [ ? ]

I'm uncertain what day this happens, but someone pointed out this important conversation Roier has with Bobby around day 32. [CLIP]

Roier: Have you seen a white bear around?

Bobby: [ Wiggles to indicate "no" ]

Roier: You haven't seen him around… He's an old friend of mine, he's an old friend of mine. He could help us out with anything we need. I know I can count on him.

Day 32 - Love, Understanding, and Tenderness

[Timestamp 2h 39m] While they're in the castle, Bobby suddenly pulls out his gun and leads Roier outside. Roier asks what's wrong, then sees Cucurucho standing on the balcony above them.

[Timestamp 2h 41m] After messing around with his new stretchy tentacle gun that lets him Spider-man swing, he finally gets up to where Cucurucho is. Cucurucho greets him with a "Buenos Dias" then asks how Roier is doing. Roier says he's doing fine, then asks Cucurucho how it is and what its been doing.

Cucurucho: I was informed you were looking for me.

Roier: Yes, that's right. Where were you all that time? Why did you stop talking to me? Why did you leave my life?

Cucurucho: Classified

Roier: Cucurucho, Cucurucho, Osito Bimbo, why did you stop talking to me?

[ Cucurucho hands him a book that says, "Do you need anything?" ]

Roier: Yes. What I need is love, understanding, and tenderness.

[Bobby punches him off the tower]

Roier: Anyways, I was saying –

Cucurucho: Observation.

Roier: Observation? Let's see, but did you leave because you had to, or did you leave because they made you? What happened?

Cucurucho: ...

Roier: I already know what happened, I know what happened. It was Mariana, Mariana bothered you and told you, "YOU LIKE ROIER you like him, you like Roier!" Right? Was that it?

Cucurucho: [ Turns away and hangs its head ]

Roier: Hey, yes or no? Tell me. You got trapped--

Cucurucho: Hahaha

Roier: What?

Cucurucho: Hahaha

Roier: [Laughs] What is that laugh? You're laughing to make the moment less awkward, right? This is a defense mechanism. "Hahaha."

Cucurucho: ...

Roier: Well, if you don't want to answer, that's fine. You don't send me WhatsApp or anything. You don't love me. We are no longer friends. [He starts to hop away, then turns back to see Cucurucho's response]

[Cucurucho hands him a book that says, "On this island there are many things to do."]

Roier: For example, that?

[Roier moves to stand closer to Cucurucho, then Bobby knocks him off the tower again. Roier "Spider-man"s his way back up the tower, and he and Cucurucho are face to face again]

Cucurucho: Classified

Roier: What do you mean by that, what do you mean by that? Tell me! What is there to do here, what is there to do? Tell me.

Cucurucho hands him this book, which says: "We are preparing things for your enjoyment. Thank you very much for your patience."

Roier: Ok, but is that the reason you no longer speak with me? You're very busy?

Cucurucho: [Nods]

Roier is concerned about Cucurucho's voice and asks if it's still able to say yes or no, and Cucurucho proves it can still say that. Roier asks Cucurucho if it needs to go and it says yes. Roier says: "You could stay with us and eat taquitos" drink Jamaica water or horchata if you like that more," and starts offering Cucurucho more and more food. Bobby falls off the building and Roier has to leave and go revive him, and Cucurucho again asks if he needs anything and apologizes for the inconvenience, saying its busy.

Roier: As I was telling you before, what I need is love, understanding, and tenderness. Do you have that?

Cucurucho: Hahaha

Roier: Why are you laughing? That makes you laugh?

[Cucurucho hands him a book that says Las Casualonas is on the other side of the Island]

Roier: [Laughing] But it's not that, there is that but it's not love.* Besides, I work there! I am Las Casualonas! I mean I can't go there because I'm the one who gives love, I'm the one who gives love, I'm the one who gives love and tenderness, but who gives it to me? Who gives me love? Tell me, who gives me love?

*(The phrasing on this is a bit weird but in essence, that's what he said here)

[Bobby hits Roier again, wanting him to take them somewhere fun, and Cucurucho says, "Enjoy the Island" before leaving. Bad and Dapper have just arrived and are just hanging out, but follow Roier, who starts chasing Cucurucho, to watch the drama]

Roier: Osito, why are you leaving? Do you want to leave? If you want to leave, you can leave, if you don't love me anymore, it's ok. No it's ok, if you don't love me anymore, then leave. Leave.

[Roier momentarily glances back at Bad, who's just standing there just silently watching their private conversation while Dapper's taking photos like a weirdo]

Cucurucho hands him a book that says: "What are you talking about?" then starts fishing.

Roier: Don't be stupid, don't act like an idiot, if you don't love me anymore, you can go.

Cucurucho doesn't leave, continuing to fish until Bad gets closer, and it throws him the fishing pole then turns to leave.

Roier: (To Bad) Don't be such a gossip! (To Cucurucho) No no no! Well, if you want to go, go. I asked you to screw me, not fail me.*

*I have no idea how to translate this, it's slang so don't take it literally but I genuinely don't know how to translate that.

Cucurucho shoots Roier and leaves.

Day 34 - Who is the Host?

[Timestamp 3h 44m 30s] Roier talks to Bobby about Cucurucho, calling it his friend. He says he wants to talk to Cucurucho again and starts singing "Baby Come Back"

Roier does a "ritual" trying to get Cucurucho to visit, and it (miraculously) works. Rainbow Cucurucho appears, and acts stranger than usual (which is saying something, considering this is Cucurucho we're talking about). This is their exchange [I'll add a clip later]:

Cucurucho: Good morning. What are you doing? We're from the QSMP Federation. It was reported that you were looking for me

Roier: I missed you! I was looking for you. I have a question Cucurucho, lately, I have seen people saying I work for the Federation. People are saying that I work for you. Cucurucho, you and I know-

Cucurucho: Hahaha

Roier: Exactly! You laugh because you and I are only friends, right, we are friends. [Long pause] …Right?

Cucurucho: I don't know.

Roier: Nah, you know, you know. Cucurucho, I don't know what you are, but you… you love me. You can't deny that. You love me: yes or no?

Cucurucho: Hahaha.

Roier: Nahhh no no no, Cucurucho, do you love me: yes or no? Do you love me? Yes or no? Wait- don't go Cucurucho- !

Cucurucho: No.

Roier: No?

Cucurucho: ...

Roier: Ok, Cucurucho. I have a question for you- I have a question for you. Let's see. If you don't like me, why do you come when I call you? If I'm not to your liking, why do you come? Every time I call, you answer. Tell me.

Cucurucho: ...

Roier: Cucuruchito, because I've known you since we first got here, I know you. There will be people who arrived a few days ago-

Cucurucho: [ Hands him a book that says: IT IS THE DUTY OF A GOOD HOST. IF THEY CALL ME, IT IS MY DUTY TO COME. ]

Roier: How is that the duty of a good Host? You are the Host? You are a Host? Host.... of a program show for children?

Cucurucho: [ Hands him a book that says: IT IS NOT NECESSARY TO DO RITUALS ]

Roier: Ok... then Cucurucho, Cucurucho, Cucurucho, then let's see- clarify something for me- [Cucurucho starts to build up and go away] Nononono don't go! Wait wait wait. What do you mean you are a Host? Are you a Host? By "Host" do you mean the presenter of a program? Or do you mean that you are the Host of the Island?

Cucurucho: ...

Roier: Cucurucho? I thought we were friends. I don't know. So you just come because I call you? Because- because you are a good host?

Cucurucho: [ Hands him a book that says: YOU WERE INVITED TO THE ISLAND. THAT'S RIGHT, A HOST. ]

Roier: But Cucurucho, wait- wait wait wait- I mean, you say you are nothing but an asset? In other words, you are just active, because you don’t want to look bad to me? That’s why?

Cucurucho: [ Hands him a book that says: WE COME WHEN YOU NEED SOMETHING. TO THE GUESTS, I GIVE WHAT THEY DESERVE. ]

Roier: ...Ok. It's fine. It's fine, Cucurucho. It's fine. Ok, but but you told me you were the Host. Are you the host?

Cucurucho: Hahaha.

Roier: Ok Cucurucho. I won't bother you anymore. I just wanted to see you again, but now it's clear to me... that you don't like* me. You never liked me. You come because you don't want to look bad in front of me because you want to be a good Host -- or do you want to make the Host look good?

* Roier uses the word "querer" here which is more sentimental than just "like"

Cucurucho: [ Hands him a book that says: WANT IS A TERM I DON'T KNOW ]

Roier: So… they force you? They force you? Are you being forced?

Cucurucho: Enjoy the Island. [Runs away]

Roier: [Runs after it ] Are they forcing you to come here?! Cucurucho, answer me! I love you! I appreciate you! Are they forcing you to do this? Do they force you to come? ...Are you a real person? Are you a person disguised as a bear?

Cucurucho: ...

Roier: Cucurucho?

Cucurucho: [ Hands him a book that says: YOU ARE THE ONE WHO FORCES ME TO COME. IF YOU NEED SOMETHING, IT IS MY DUTY. NOTHING ELSE. DO YOU NEED SOMETHING? ]

Roier: So when I need something from you, you'll come? Nothing more? Every time I need something, you come?

Cucurucho: [ Hands him a book that says: THOSE ARE THE INSTRUCTIONS OF THE HOST. THAT'S HOW IT IS. ]

Roier: Cucurucho, the truth is, I don't want to lie to you. I've been very sad. I think I want to leave the island. I feel very sad Cucurucho.

[Bobby punches Roier, and Roier shakes his head and holds a finger up to his lips, telling Bobby to be quiet]

Cucurucho: [ Hands him a book that says: WHAT IS MISSING ON THIS ISLAND THAT YOU NEED TO BE HAPPY? ]

Roier: I'm missing... I... need more friends.

Cucurucho: [Gestures at Badboyhalo and Dapper, who have been lurking trying to listen in on their conversation]

Roier: Them? Them as friends? But I don't like him, he smells like avocado. [Bad punches him] I want friends who don't smell like avocado, and who don't write so much!

Cucurucho: [Gives Roier a cockroach and tells him to enjoy the Island, then turns to leave]

Roier: Ok, ok, thank you. [Roier chases after Cucurucho] You have a nice day too! Nobody forces you to do what you don't want to do! You're free! Goodbye Osito Bimbo. [Osito Bimbo pauses as Roier is attacked by a zombie mob, hesitating until it sees he's ok] Goodbye!

[Timestamp 3h 55m] Despite their farewells, Roier decides to follow Cucurucho more anyways to see where it goes.

[Timestamp 3h 57m 45s] Afterward, Roier and Bobby go home, and Roier tells Bobby (in a low voice to avoid anyone overhearing), "I think Cucurucho is sad. It's just that, I remember I used to hang out with him a lot when I first came to this Island. I hung out with him a lot. He always came to see me and help me. But from one moment to the next, I realize that he had changed. He stopped being so kind to me, and in fact he gave me a book. He had been telling me for many days that he was going to stop bothering me, it seems like he was scolded, but he acts like nothing's wrong. He acts like everything is fine, but I feel like they are forcing him. He's sad. He doesn't show it, but he wrote me a sad face."

Day 36 - The Federation takes Felps

[Timestamp 1h 16m] Cucurucho arrives at Roier's castle with half the server (all rainbow) in tow. Roier asks how Cucurucho is doing, and Cellbit confronts Cucurucho about the chainsaw incident, which Cucurucho denies happened. Roier intervenes, telling people not to fight. Maximus pulls Roier aside, telling him something strange is happening with Felps because he's acting like he's "Cucurucho's best friend", and Maximus wonders if he's being brainwashed.

Cucurucho spends this entire time giving people gifts acting harmless, until Cellbit intervenes again.

Cellbit: Roier, Roier, don't trust Cucurucho, he's a liar.

Roier: Why?

Cucurucho: Why?

Cellbit: Don't believe him. He tortured me with a chainsaw.

Roier: He tortured you? Ah, you did tell me. Cucurucho, is that true?

Cucurucho: [shakes its head] No

Cellbit: He's lying, he's lying! Guapito, believe me, believe me.

Roier: Ok, I believe you, gatinho, I believe you gatinho. [He repeats "I believe you" over and over]

Cellbit: Be careful around him, ok? He's a manipulator, a liar. Do not believe his lies!

[As Cellbit says this, Cucurucho hangs its head]

Roier: I knew him from a long time ago. And he was not always like that. He was good before. But I don't know. What happened to you?

[Timestamp 1h 57m] Felps is taken by the Federation, and Cellbit, Maximus, and Roier confront Cucurucho, who laughs and says "I hope you enjoy the Island," offering them no answers.

[Timestamp 2h 8m 40s] Cellbit takes Roier and the other boys to the Theory Bros room, where they discuss the events from today and theories about Cucurucho]

Roier: Let me explain one thing. Cucurucho was very good to me. But then one day, he was very strange, you know? He was like… doing strange things, I don't know how to explain. But he was very good at the beginning, but then— he was like the Host.

Cellbit: Maybe at first he was really worried about making a good impression, and after that he started to let his guard down, and you caught him red-handed doing something weird.

Roier: Maybe the Host changed Cucurucho. I dunno, that's a theory.

Day 37

The longer Roier hung out with Cellbit and the Theory Bros, the more his opinion of Cucurucho soured.

[Timestamp 3h 16m] After a chat with Richarlyson about his art skills, he asks him to draw Cucurucho, and they draw what they think it looks like together.

[Timestamp 3h 26m] They show off their finished artwork to Cellbit, and both he and Roier call it "The true face of Cucurucho." Roier's art is on the bottom, Richarlyson's is the one on top.

Roier: This person, this one here, is the true Cucurucho. The devil.

Cellbit: A demon of the apocalypse.

Day 41 - Reviving Bobby

[Timestamp: 17m] Cucurucho visits Roier and Jaiden a few days after Bobby's death. It tells him to gather his friends to try and rescue Bobby, and gives him this book:

[See it from Jaiden's POV]

Roier: I didn't lie to you. I told you I have new friends, I told you, and now they're all here.

Cucurucho: If you want to see [Bobby] again, there's a price to pay.

But they don't get Bobby back.

Cucurucho: I told you. Everything has a price.

Roier: Was that the price? All those deaths?

Cucurucho: Yes :) […] There is a high price to pay when it comes to life and death. 10 minutes is the best I could get you.

In reality, they wound up getting 25. Realistically, this was probably just the admins feeling bad for Roier and Jaiden because frick dude, that was depressing, but if we want to give an in-universe explanation for it, Cucurucho might've given them more time.

Even so, Roier still vows he'll hold a trial against the Federation to try and get Bobby back.

Day 47 - A series of unfortunate events

I'm gonna TLDR this because so much happened on this day I'd recommend just watching the VOD, but essentially: Jaiden makes a deal with Cucurucho in the hopes that in return, they'll get something that will help protect the Eggs forever. Roier, distrustful of Cucurucho, stays close to keep an eye on things, and he has some back and forth interactions with Cucurucho that are reminiscent of their early day interactions, but are layered with sadness and mistrust.

Miscellaneous

Alright this post is getting long enough as it is, but let's run through some other oddities:

When Cellbit was trying to join the Federation, Cucurucho gave him a task that was specifically about Roier, asking him what he needs to be happy, why he's sad, and what would make him smile. Perhaps it's understandable that Cucurucho would be interested in one of the most depressed members of the Island, because the whole point of the Island is to make people happy, but considering their past friendship / relationship, detail of Cucurucho singling out Roier is something worth noting (particularly since it knows Cellbit is also close to Roier). Also idk, something about the way it's phrased as, "What would make him smile?" makes my heart ache

Cucurucho's task and Cellbit's answers:

Other things of interest other people have brought up:

Roier (used to) keep all the books Cucurucho gave him in a chest

I should also note here that Cucurucho has always been kind to Jaiden as well. Despite terrifying her that first day, it also gave her a blue parrot. While Jaiden has always been cautious of Cucurucho, she's always been polite as well. When everyone went to save Bobby, she stopped to say thank you to Cucurucho (presumably thanking it for giving them the chance to save Bobby).

There's a lot I could say about Jaiden's interactions with Cucurucho, but if I did this post would be twice as long, so I'll have to save that for another day I'm afraid :'D

If there's anything I missed, please send it to me so I can add it here, or add it in the reblogs!

UPDATE: This thread compiles even more moments between Cucurucho and Roier and includes translated clips

#QSMP #Roier #Cucurucho #Bimboier #Osito Bimbo #The Federation #QSMP talk #I talk #Y'ALL BETTER APPRECIATE THIS I MISSED A QUACKITY STREAM WRITING THIS #I spent wayyyyy to long doing research for this wtf #I wish I hadn't timed myself #qsmp analysis

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kteezy997 · 4 months

Text

The Candy Man-Part Eight//W.W.

warnings/info: Wonka family fluff, mention of secret sex room at the chocolate factory

A few months later…

It was all coming together. Willy worked day and night, creating the chocolate factory, all while coming home late and still helping with the babies. Your man barely slept, and you knew he was tired, but he was determined to create the most spectacular chocolate factory that the world had ever seen. You were just glad that he had hired an entire staff to help him, so he wasn't doing it all on his own.

Finally, he allowed you to come and work with him as well. He didn't want you to go back to work too soon after giving birth. But you insisted that you were ready.

The first day, you brought the babies along to see their father's work. They had grown so much. They were crawling everywhere, and so interested in the world around them. Their hair had thickened and become curlier, and they had plump, healthy little bodies. Maple was sweet and cuddly, and you were able to tie her hair up into tiny ponytails on the top of her head. Mocha was sweet too, but he could be a little too adventurous, almost to the point of getting into mischief.

You carried Mae and Willy carried Mocha into the chocolate room. This room was going to be special; you could tell by the way Willy had talked so excitedly about it.

"Alright, it's just behind this door." he said, turning the handle. He looked at you, biting his lip.

The door opened, and you didn't know where to put your eyes. The room was vast, with vibrant colors. Lush green grass, giant mushrooms with whipped cream spots, edible flowers of all shapes and sizes, and trees that rained gumballs. And trees adorned with giant gummy bears as well as multi-colored candy canes. The walking path was a rainbow of lights under your feet.

"Everything you see is edible, y/n." he said, setting Mocha down to explore.

However, the most jaw-dropping thing was the centerpiece chocolate river that flowed all through the room.

You were speechless, it took you a moment to really take it all in.

Willy took Mae from you, letting her join her brother in chewing on the candy grass.

"Willy...this is incredible. It's like nothing I've ever seen."

He came over to you, taking you in his arms. He kissed you, smiling softly as he pulled away. "It's all I ever wanted for myself, but I did it even bigger because of you and the babies. You, my family, are my biggest inspiration."

Your heart melted, and your eyes welled up with happy tears. "Oh, Willy, we are so lucky to have you. You work so hard, and we are so proud of you." you looked around the room again, "This is like a dream."

"It's just Pure Imagination, my love." he looked into your eyes, "Come with me." he said with a nod. He picked up both of the babies and started a stroll through the candy room.

You were delighted to follow them, and watch your children ooh and ahh at their father's creations. All the while, Willy sang his little tune, which he used a lot at home with kids, "Pure Imagination." His voice was so angelic. Maple and Mocha were mesmerized every time their father sang. You were certain your children would know the song by heart by the time they started to talk in full sentences. He had been singing it to them since they were still in the womb, after all.

You could see your future. Your curly headed kids growing and running amuck through daddy's factory. Willy would let them have all the sugar that they wanted, within reason, of course.

Now that Mr. Hudson had granted you a divorce, you had a vision of a magical wedding with Willy, sans candy. Sugary treats were your life with Willy, but you were both happy having a traditional wedding without all the busy colors that came with your Wonka treats. Mocha was the ring bearer and Mae the flower girl. It would be absolutely perfect; a day full of pure love.

.............

One evening, Willy came home, all excited. "Honey, your office is ready. Let me show you." he said, grinning widely and taking your hand.

"Whoa, whoa, Willy, who is going to watch the kids?" you giggled.

"Oh, I've got that covered." he said confidently, opening the front door of your home to reveal Noodle and her mother, Dorothy.

"Hey, y/n!" said Noodle, her eyes already searching for the little ones she adored. Once she spotted them in the living room, she ran to them immediately.

You greeted sweet Dorothy, thanking her for babysitting as well, and then you and Willy were off to the factory.

…….

Willy showed you your new office, and it was spacious and cozy. It was the perfect workstation! He even took the time to put up a couple of photos of the twins on your desk, as well as a vase of fresh flowers for you.

But he was more excited to show you something else. He led you to another room just down the way from your office. He put in a secret code that was several digits long. “Alright, my love, I hope you like this.” he smirked.

You walked in, seeing a queen-sized bed in the middle of the room and suddenly you were realizing what this room was meant for. There were big jars of different chocolates and candies all along the walls. Large ropes of red licorice hung on hooks. There were oversized candy canes as well.

“Wow. You continue to surprise me, Mr. Wonka.” you said, in awe of the…playroom.

“The walls are stone, of course, so no one can hear what goes on in this room.” Willy took your hands, “Honey, there are things that I want to experiment with, but just for us two. I hope you’re comfortable going on this…sexual journey with me?”

“Oh, yes, Willy, of course!” You kissed him, “I can’t believe you went to such lengths for me. It's so sexy. I love you, baby.” you then nuzzled your nose against his.

“You know that there’s no limit to what I’d do to please you. It’s my life’s work, darling. Well, after being a good husband and father, and making chocolate of course.”

“Wait, Willy, we’re not married.” you giggled.

Willy’s eyes widened, “Oh yes, that’s right. I forgot.” Then, he got down on one knee, "Y/n, will you marry me?" He presented you with a little jewelry box, opened it, revealing a beautiful diamond ring.

You gasped, without even thinking, you blurted out, "Yes!"

Willy smiled from ear to ear, slid the ring on your fourth finger on your left hand and shot up to his feet to hug you.

You were lifted off of your feet by him, and you cried tears of joy as he spun you around with glee.

"You're gonna be Mrs. Wonka!" Willy cheered.

@gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl @musicandbooksaremyhappyplace @tchalamss @softhecreator @bitchyunknownuser @lixzey @kpopgirlbtssvt

#timothée chalamet #timmy chalamet #timothee x reader #timothée imagine #timothee chalamet smut #willy wonka #willy wonka x reader #wonka #wonka fanfic

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lemurzsquad · 2 months

Text

Hand Sanitizer

Pairing: Sakusa x gn!reader (platonic or romantic, up to interpretation)

Summary: You and Sakusa hate each other with a passion, and it's almost always a disagreement over hand sanitizer. So when you leave to wash your hands and don't come back, Sakusa learns why exactly you avoid using it so adamantly.

A/N: Okay so this fic. Hooooo boy. This fic. I've been wanting to write it for a while and finally have. It started as a "Reasons why I'm pretty sure Sakusa would hate me irl" and turned into this.

So I have a skin condition known as aquagenic wrinkling of the palms (or AWP), which affects my hands when they come in contact with water, which is what this fic is about. I never hear about this condition anywhere, and it's very lonely sometimes, and there's no real treatment for it (from what I've seen). So this is essentially a vent where I take my skin condition seriously for once instead of just making water allergy jokes to cope lol

(More info about AWP here)

Word count: 3898

cw: skin condition (non-graphic descriptions and discussion) (AWP - please read above), hurt/comfort, angst, crying, enemies to friends...?, emotionally constipated apologies from Sakusa, hand sanitizer is evil /j, vent, not proofread because I just wanted to get this done and posted to do literally anything else, (please lmk if I should tag anything else)

(Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, and everything written here is purely from my own experiences and observations. If you would like to learn more, please do your own research; this is not designed to be informative. It's purely for myself and for awareness.)

You and Sakusa had never gotten along.

You were certain you knew when it started, having been completely oblivious of one another up until that point.

It was when you were both first years in high school, and there happened to be a lizard in the classroom. You, upon seeing it, immediately proceeded to pick it up and ask the teacher to let you put it outside, to which they agreed.

You came back to the classroom, dusting off your hands, when a curly-haired boy took it upon himself to comment, “Go use some hand sanitizer, would you?”

You squinted at him, partly confused as to why he was talking to you and how you had never noticed he sat there before. “No thanks,” you answered, “I'd rather just wash my hands.”

“I don't think just washing your hands would be enough,” he rebutted with a sharp look behind his bangs. “You probably don't even know how to properly wash your hands.”

“Well, too bad! I'm not using hand sanitizer!” You were starting to get annoyed, crossing your arms.

Somehow, that seemed to make him even more disgusted, possibly at the thought that you were spreading whatever it was on your hands onto your clothes now, too.

The two of you threw jabs back and forth until the teacher separated you, which you were both happy to oblige. The animosity between you never seemed to quite dissipate even as the year went on and you became second years. You almost felt bad for the misunderstanding, knowing it was entirely your own fault, but how were you supposed to explain to this random kid that you couldn't use hand sanitizer even if you wanted to? At least, in your head you couldn't.

At some point, you and Sakusa became something of enemies within your class—renowned ones, at that. People would often ask the both of you why you hated each other so much, but your answers were vague at best.

“He's just so pretentious,” you said once.

“They're just so obstinate,” he said once.

And thus, an impasse stretched between you. You hadn't even learned his name until months after your first encounter, too bitter to really care.

Despite the efforts you both went through to avoid being within the presence of the other, you somehow still ended up nearby. Maybe it was your teachers attempting to make you get along—maybe it was the universe laughing in your face.

Throughout that entire time, you still faithfully avoided hand sanitizer like the plague. The one time the nearest bathroom was out of order for a little while and you couldn't wash your hands, you used as little of the accursed substance as you could. Whatever microscopically thin layer that coated your hands there was, you shook it off almost violently, simultaneously disgusted by the feeling of something on your skin and afraid of what it might do.

The disapproving look Sakusa gave you when he saw that was palpable.

At some point, you hated each other mostly out of principle. You'd both kept it up this long—it would be weird to suddenly just let it go since your flimsy justifications seemed enough until now. To admit that you were being unreasonable would be worse than getting along, you separately reasoned.

So when you were paired up for a project, you couldn't help but grimace. Sakusa was the first to go up to the teacher about it.

“I can't work with them,” you heard him say. For once, you agreed with him.

The teacher, however, dismissed his concerns with a wave, saying, “In life, you don't get to pick who you work with. Sometimes you'll have to try to put aside your differences to get your work done.”

It sounded stupid to you, like some half-hearted excuse so they wouldn't have to rearrange seating or partners. But it's not like you had any place to argue, so you resigned to just sucking it up.

Instead of working together, you both divvied up tasks as quickly as possible and did what you assigned yourselves—separately.

All was going well; you ignored each other and worked on the project silently. Despite other groups discussing their plans and the room being filled with chatter, your share corner was dead silent save the sound of pen on paper.

Which didn't last long when suddenly the tip of your pen snapped off. The now open ink tube spilled onto your hands, and when you tried to minimize the damage, it only got worse. By the time you dropped the pen onto your open notebook, raising your hands in surrender, they were absolutely coated in black splotches. A sense of defeat washed over you as you watched your words get covered and your paper stained in ebony.

Taking a moment to glance at your already ruined hands, you just resigned to picking up the pen and throwing it out. It was your favorite pen, which was unfortunate. It couldn't be helped, you told yourself.

Sakusa had noticed you flailing about your desk, silently judging you for the clumsy mess you made when you should have just thrown out the pen the second it broke to avoid the noir crime scene that now covered you and your area. He scowled knowing you would now have to redo whatever you had written for the project.

It was nearing the end of school, the class you were currently in being the final one of the day. You approached the teacher's table and asked if you could go wash your hands. They checked the clock to see about twenty minutes left before replying, “Make it quick.”

You walked past Sakusa's desk on your way to the door. He made the snide remark, “You could get the ink off really well with hand sanitizer.”

It took everything in you not to snap back at him, but you just hurried past, careful not to touch anything on the way out.

Sakusa knew he would never understand you. From the moment you met, you stubbornly refused what seemed to be basic courses of action. Touch something dirty? Use hand sanitizer. Eating? Wash your hands before and after to keep from touching anything.

The couple of times he had seen you wash your hands, it was very brief, and you seemed to avoid using the air dryer, opting for paper towels that were arguably undoing whatever progress you made in washing your hands.

At the same time, you avoided any task that would require you to touch dust or water. You always asked to sweep or clean windows, so much so that everyone just ended up giving you those tasks to get you to stop asking. If you did get something on your hands, you immediately wiped or shook it off, seemingly disgusted. You would even briefly run it under water just to dry it on your clothes so they weren't wet. It seemed there were things worse than water if you were willing to rinse them off.

But it was still that one avoidance that came between you: the hand sanitizer. It was practically the same as water, and it dried quickly. Even if it was comparable to washing your hands, it was still much more convenient in most scenarios. Yet you continued to adamantly refuse to ever use it. At some point you declared, “I would rather die,” when he had tried to squeeze some on your hand, earning him his wrist grabbed and pushed away.

He just didn't understand.

So when he found you sobbing in front of the stairs, opening your hands and clenching them closed into loose fists repeatedly, he was beyond confused.

You hadn't come back to class after leaving to wash the remnants of your broken pen, so the teacher decided it was your project partner, Sakusa, who should find you and return the belongings you left behind. He went over to your open notebook that remained just where you left it and noted the handful of words that were still visible.

Sakusa folded the cover over, enclosing the now dried puddle of ink. The remainder of your things he scooped into his arms, leaving the room once the halls had cleared a significant amount. As much as he wanted to just leave your things and go to volleyball practice, he figured it would end poorly.

Plus, what could possibly have kept you out of class for so long that you would have left everything behind? There was no way it had taken that long to get most of the ink off of your skin, so either you had just skipped the last bit of school or something happened. Since you hadn't taken your wallet with you with your IDs (he checked your bag when he put the notebook back inside, sure that it was completely dry), he reasoned it was probably the latter.

“Tsk.” They would have been able to get it off with hand sanitizer, he thought, brows furrowed. This is such a waste of time.

Sakusa wandered through the halls when he didn't find you by the bathrooms. He was starting to think it was a lost cause trying to return your bag; he even had to text his cousin to tell him why he would be late. It wasn't until he got to a particularly empty hallway did he hear something.

Quietly, in a dark alcove with a set of stairs leading up, a figure was huddled against a wall. Their tears were soft but anguished, stifled because it was in the environment of school. Sakusa had tried to ignore them until he realized it was you.

You held your palms up just past your knees that were pressed against your chest. You opened and closed your hands, a fresh cascade of tears painting your cheeks as you choked back a sob. You pressed—with more pressure than could have been painful—your thumb into the center of your other palm, nails digging into the back of your hand. You set your closed eyes on your knees with the hope that it might stop the water that leaked from them.

Sakusa, with great caution, approached your hunched figure. He didn't want to, he really didn't. You were the person he probably hated the most at his school, but somehow he knew he'd seem like an awful person if he didn't at least give your belongings to you directly—he wouldn't give you the satisfaction of another thing to hold over his head.

And yet those thoughts went to the back of his mind when he crouched down in front of you. His mask and curly hair obscured his focused expression as he tried to study your current state. The moment you seemed to hear him there, you held your breath and repressed your already quiet cries.

When Sakusa got close, you buried yourself further in to hide your face behind your knees and clenched your hands even more.

He frowned and something in his chest tightened. His brows furrowed deeper over his eyes and he huffed. He saw your nails digging into the skin on the backs of your hands.

“That's going to leave a mark if you keep doing that.” It came out more biting than he had meant it, but he was being serious.

It was then that you could no longer hold back your sobs, almost choking on your own tears. The grip you had of your hands softened and unlinked; instead, you lightly shook them apart from each other. Sakusa had to take a moment to process, but it almost seemed like there was something wrong with them.

He just wanted to get you to stop crying so he could give you your bag. As much as he hated the gesture, he asked, “What's wrong with your hands?”

You curled your lips in to bite down on them, fighting back hiccups. With your eyes tightly screwed shut, you upturned your palms.

The sight alone made Sakusa's eyebrows fly up in shock.

He didn't mean to, but he grabbed your wrist to get a better look. Ignoring the ink stains that faintly persisted, there were pale, patchy splotches in the center of your palm and on the side edges of your fingers; there were even some tiny pale rings on the periphery of the bigger splotches. But underneath that, the skin seemed as if it had soaked in water for hours or maybe even days. Not only were there dozens of deep crevice lines trailing from the tips of all of your fingers to their bases but the lines on your palms were more prominent, surrounded by profound, dense wrinkles that spanned the entire surface.

His eyes darted around your hand for a few moments just trying to comprehend what he was looking at. It looked unnatural—it looked painful. And when he met your gaze, he saw unidentifiable emotions flash across it. Was it shame? Regret? He couldn't be sure aside from the blood that seemed to drain from your face.

You tried to pull your hand away, but Sakusa wouldn't let go. His eyes never left yours, searching for some kind of answer. When he couldn't find it there, he asked, “What happened?” It was soft, calm, and even, enough to make you tear up a little again.

The second time you tugged, he released your wrist. You pushed your thumb into your palm again, looking away. Hiding your hands away in the space between your stomach and where your legs were still tucked against your torso, you sniffled a few times and tried to even out your breathing.

“I-It's normal… it just h-happens when I-I touch water…” You stuttered and mumbled between hiccups.

“That is not normal,” Sakusa said a little too quickly and curtly, realizing it probably would have made it seem like he was berating you.

With another sniffle, you said, “It's a– it's a skin condition.” You started to scratch your palms partly out of stress and partly out of the persistent stinging. “It reacts to water i-if I touch it for too long.”

His eyebrows knitted in concern. “Was that from washing your hands then?”

You gave a small nod, still avoiding his gaze. “I couldn't get the ink off and ended up w-washing them for too long…”

“You could have just used hand sanitizer,” he said genuinely. For the moment, he almost forgot he was supposed to hate you, more focused on being worried than anything.

Your answer was your head shaking rather fervently. “No, I can't.” You lowered to set your forehead against your knees again. “Well, actually, I don't know. I-It just scares me and I don't want to r-risk any more pain than I already have. I haven't h-had good experiences with it…”

“What did hand sanitizer ever do to you?” It came out snarkier than Sakusa had meant. He slowly lowered himself to sit with his legs crossed in front of you, your bag still next to him.

You let out a heavy breath. “I was a dumb kid in elementary,” you started. “I had an obsession with scented hand sanitizer for probably a few months. I used it multiple times a day, and even though I don't know for sure if it's related, my hands got worse after that year I think. Only after that did I finally go to the doctor to get it diagnosed after my mom did a ton of research. I agreed to avoid hand sanitizer from then on. I just don't want to risk being in more pain…”

You both went silent.

“Oh…” It was all that left Sakusa's lips. A sudden wave of guilt crashed into him. All of the times he had berated you for not using hand sanitizer and all of his snide, rude, annoyed remarks resurfaced in his conscience. He felt terrible. He felt bad. Someone was hurting and all he did was throw lighter fluid on their problems—for months—and it seemed there was finally a spark to set it all ablaze. The thought that he started it all made it worse.

“Stop with whatever weird look you have on your face.” You squinted at him and his downturned, scrunched face. You'd calmed down enough to be making quips, it would appear. “It's not like I can do anything about it.” You shrugged, half-hearted.

He searched your face again for any sign of emotion aside from blank resignation, but he couldn't find anything. “Is there no treatment?”

You shrunk down further into your huddle, not vocally answering, but the answer was still clear.

Something about the whole situation made his heart hurt; it made him upset, he realized. “So what, you just have to avoid water?”

The nod of your head to the side looked pathetic as you avoided his eyes. After several seconds of silence, you said, “I used to love swimming. It's not like I can't, it's just… it hurts and it makes me feel gross. I don't even like the beach anymore because if I go in the water and get my hands wet, there's no real place to dry them off.” You laughed humorlessly. “It's stupid. You'd think I would get more used to it and get over it as I got older, but it just made me more upset. Why me? Why did I have to get stuck with a condition that's rare and isn't really bad enough for people to care enough to find a treatment? At least, it feels that way…

“I know it's awful, but I sometimes wonder, ‘Why didn't I get stuck with something worse? Then I might have a way to treat it. Then people might care.’”

You glanced up to judge Sakusa's reaction, instantly regretting spilling your feelings and questioning why you did. Tears threatened to flood over again and spill from your eyes. You felt helpless; not only from your condition but also from being stared down by the person you were certain despised you more than anyone. You were giving him more ammo to be disgusted and to detest you, too.

But you couldn't find his face. His ebony bangs hung down like a curtain and his mask further obscured your view, his downturned line of sight completely blocked out.

When the silence was beginning to crawl around on your skin and became almost deafening, you took in a sharp breath and held it for a moment before breathing out a tiny apology. “Sorry… you don't wanna hear about this…”

“No.”

“...No? No… what?”

“No…”

Sakusa was struggling to get out the right words. How does he say sorry to you in a way that you might actually believe? How does he tell you that you're allowed to be upset, that you can talk about it? How does he make you understand that it's okay?

And how is he supposed to get you to believe it when it's coming from him?

His voice sounded almost angry but not at you—it was for you. “You can be upset,” he said between gritted teeth, hands clenched into tight fists. “No one deserves to have to live everyday avoiding something so common just to not be in pain. And no one deserves to have some jerk constantly making light of it even if they don't know.”

The way your eyes widened and water dripped down your cheeks in sudden streams said it all. “Oh…” was all you could muster before you completely broke down. No one you had ever told about your condition had seemed to fully grasp how much you were hurting inside, how every day was a struggle to avoid reminding yourself of how awful your hands were, how even looking at your own hands sometimes made you ashamed and loathing of yourself. It was a constant reminder that there would always be something wrong with you; you would always be broken, and there was no way to fix it.

Sakusa let you cry with the renewed emotional rush. He remained firmly planted where he sat, not moving an inch. He was not going anywhere.

And he didn't, even as your sobbing slowed to quiet sniffles and wiping mostly dried tears. It took a while before you finally muttered, “Thank you… No one's ever said that to me before…”

“Well, they should.” His words were curt but lacked any sharpness to them.

When you looked up to meet his eyes, he turned them away from you. Hesitantly, he uttered, “Look, I can't promise you that we'll get along, but I can assure you I'll try not to bother you anymore. No more stupid hand sanitizer comments anymore, either.” It was the only peace offering he could make for a chance to pave a path towards making amends.

You let out a breath through your nose that was close to a laugh before hiccuping, “Next thing you know, you'll be telling me we'll work on our group project together.”

“Don't push it,” he answered, quickly and humorlessly. It only made you laugh, although he couldn't comprehend why.

“It's getting late,” Sakusa tried to divert. “You should head home.”

You reached for your phone, and the little numbers on the screen confirmed his statement. Suddenly, a flash of panic crossed your face. “I don't have my bag,” you state frantically, “or any of my stuff.”

It was then that Sakusa held up the original object of his search for you, gently lowering it to the ground. “The teacher told me to bring it to you since you never came back.”

Relief washed over you in a calming rush, and you finally seemed to relax. You pulled your knees away from your chest and sat with your legs crossed. Confirming that everything was in your bag, an immensely relieved sigh left your lips in a gust.

“Thank you.” Your gaze was earnest, trying to convey just how much you meant your words to make sure it sunk in.

Sakusa just grumbled, “Whatever.” He was back to his usual self despite how he stumbled embarrassingly when he got up and realized his legs had gone numb. He reluctantly offered up his hand to help you stand, but you only looked at it for a moment, mouth pressed into a line, before you got to your feet on your own.

He pretended he hadn't tried to assist you, instead pivoting on his heels and shoving his hands in his pockets with a slouched posture. Without another word exchanged, you both headed towards the school's entrance.

The air fell into a comfortable quiet until then. When you did reach the entrance, however, you both stopped in your tracks. You turned to Sakusa, giving him a soft smile and a small wave, and headed down the street. Only when you turned the corner, out of sight, did he head back towards the volleyball gym. He was so horribly beyond late that it was almost laughable.

But he didn't care, knowing it meant someone was there in that very moment for you when you needed it most. So what if he also started to mend whatever nonexistent relationship was there in the process? What mattered was that someone told you that it was okay.

And Sakusa was okay with that. Being late to practice wasn't nearly as pressing as his long overdue apologies. What could be more important than that?

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dotthings · 25 days

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Congrats to the fans of the wee woo show. I don’t go here but it makes me happy to witness how this arc for Evan Buckley got to bloom and I’m happy because I hope this reflects another shift in the TV industry.

For some media commentary context for you: ABC network is owned by Disney. Fox network was owned by Rupert Murdoch. So I can see how the network change for 911 can easily be a factor on how this got greenlit, after years of creator Tim Minear’s intention to work in hints, on the off chance he could take it there. (I don’t go here, but I did my reading). Oliver Stark who plays Buck also revealed he's been for it and couldn't say anything, until he was sure they could do it, until it aired and was out there. (*steeples fingers*)

For further context, Bob Iger—with George Lucas’ vocal support—just fended off a right wing coup on the Disney board from the kinds of people (like Peltz) who complain “why do we need so many female leads” “why do we need movies with all Black leads.” While it doesn’t mean Disney is no longer an evil megacorp, I’m pointing out that its CEO defended inclusive Disney brand content to the shareholders and the board, as well as dismantling the idea that it can’t be entertainment while being diverse.

The ripple of this goes outside of the wee woo show fandom. I’m seeing the joy on my dash from people who don’t watch the show or don’t watch it regularly, as well as from people who have been watching a long time and noticed things and realized there was a progression and it was there all along, and I know how much this must mean to a lot of people. With the world being how it is, with what people are facing inside the US from the far right, in their real lives.

It’s very hopeful in general for inclusion levels on a major network TV show, owned by a big evil megacorp. Representation matters.

Also I'm aware the wee woo show already had a queer couple, plus it's already an intersectional inclusive series, that’s great.

There shouldn't be limits placed on inclusion though. “But you already have X” shouldn't be weaponized to tell people to shut up. There is no “enough” or “too much” when it comes to inclusion. While I'm not for undermining the inclusion that's there, I've seen that weaponization used with a series that hasn't been great on inclusion, and I've seen that weaponization used for 911, which is. It's a sus argument.

Indirect and unintentional as it is, also bi Buck shut down every concern troll, every gaslight, every denial, every rationale I've ever seen people deploy against bi Dean. Everything from people who don’t understand what bi actual means—“but he likes girls so he can’t be bi”—to “but he wasn’t declared bi from the start of the show so he can’t”—yes he can and the wee woo show just did. On one of the original big three networks. Or people who say it would "ruin the character." Really? “But he’s an action hero”—so what? Evan Buckley is a hero, Dean is a hero, both badass action heroes. “People who see this as canon are delusional”—Evan Buckley went O RLY? Not so delusional now, is it.

Evan Buckley avenged bi Dean.

It’s self-evident. It’s right there. Different show, different network, but the concepts are familiar, the situation has a certain familiarity. This turn of events on an ABC show didn't just make bi Dean fans valid. bi Dean fans were always valid, the bi Dean reading was always valid. But I appreciate how much what happened on the wee woo show bonked people with a truth stick, about self discovery, character arcing, queer readings, queer coding, and the validity of merely noticing things.

#bi Dean #dot trolls the media #dot trolls fandom

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nephilimeq · 7 months

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Frosthawk Moments - Canon

So I made some gifs from some scenes in the first Avengers movie that no one ever talks about. I think most people have completely missed it because I've never actually seen anyone comment on it.

This:

Clint Barton actually hits Loki!

CLINT. HIT. LOKI.

That bullet hits—and then ricochets, and then Loki reacts like this:

He immediately retaliates, and if Clint hadn't ducked out of the way because he's incredibly good at that, he would have been obliterated head-on!

And as we all remember, Clint then gets back up after everyone else has been knocked down, and this moment happens here:

And this? This is when Clint realizes that Loki is far stronger than he was expecting—it's a great bit of acting on Renner's part, because you can see him realize 'holy crap, this guy is something else entirely'. Canonically, Hawkeye is the strongest of all the agents without any 'extras' and he's always been able to handle himself and this is the first time he's been up against something like this.

You can see his expression go from "ow, that hurts" to "wait...what the fuck?" and it's just so damn brilliant.

I always had the thought that Loki was getting irritated because he's aimed at the guy more than twice and not only did Clint dodge, but he got back up to keep fighting! Loki's literally thinking, You keep getting back up! Stop it!

...and I have always been certain that this was the moment he saw something in him.

This is why he said, "You have heart."

I genuinely think Loki was planning on killing him up until that point, but when he saw that this human had such a drive and passion to fight, he knew that this was the right person to protect him. I would like to remind people that Loki was actually still severely incapacitated, it just didn't seem that way because he was still stronger compared to humans.

Then in the scene that occurs right before the deleted scene (which explains so much more) we have this:

Look at how Loki looks at him, almost as though he's measuring just how adept he is and how smart he is. This is when Clint is explaining how he chose the location because they need the three levels of lead-lined flooring to keep S.H.I.E.L.D. from finding the cube. This is Loki realizing he chose the right person because right after this we hear him see, "I see why Fury chose you to guard it," acknowledging just how smart and adaptive he is.

And then there's an entire scene between the two of them that was cut from the final draft.

Which never. Should have been. DELETED.

Take this for instance:

You see all of those people? You see all of that massive set up??

NONE OF THAT WAS LOKI.

Everything that you see in the planning throughout the rest of the Avengers movie that seemed to be Loki was all Clint Barton outsmarting and outwitting S.H.I.E.L.D. He was the one who even came up with the plan for Loki to purposely get himself captured!!

Now let's talk about this scene here:

"I want to know everything you can tell me about this team of his. I would...test their' mettle."

Like...HELLO??? This tells us right here that Clint was the one who gave up all the information and told Loki everything about all of the Avengers! We can glean from the fact that we saw Clint in the first Thor movie (with Coulson) that he has been fully aware of the Avengers way before anyone else knew about it.

He had the most information besides Coulson. Which means that Loki went into his "capture" already knowing all about Clint and Nat's relationship, which also allows us to deduce that he also knew that Natasha was playing him from the beginning! He knew she would figure it out, so he was stalling for time—and that was it!

Then we have this:

Clint: "If you're set on making yourself known...could be useful." Loki: "Tell me what you need."

This is the dialogue that takes place here, and it explains so much. The way they originally cut the movie, it jumps from the scene with Selvig to the dialogue at the tail end of this deleted scene—which now, if you rewatch the movie, you will see is a glaringly obvious cut.

But this entire deleted scene sets up the rest. of the freaking. MOVIE.

This deleted scene shows us that Hawkeye was the mastermind behind not only taking down the helicarrier with only a few arrows, but also the one who planned the entire attack...just to get Loki back out after he triggered the Hulk.

Fury (over comms): "It's Barton. He took out our systems. He's headed for the detention level!"

ALL. CLINT'S. PLAN.

I am of the mind why they cut this scene was solely to put the blame on Loki, because if they had kept this scene in it would have become painfully obvious that Loki wouldn't have made it as far on his own and only made it so far because of Clint.

#frosthawk #loki #hawkeye #clint barton #the avengers #avengers #the avengers deleted scene #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #marvel movies #marvel canon #avengers canon #frosthawk meta #clint barton is a badass #bamf clint barton

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whorekneecentral · 6 months

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Snowflakes On The Glass

Ben Chilwell x Fem!Reader

Warnings: morning cuddles, ben acts like a child, reader works her magic, teasing, it's giving sub!ben for like 0.2 seconds, penetrative sex (p in v), breeding kink, one like sorta misogynistic comment if you squint, creampie.

Word Count: 1,532

Author's Note: this was a last minute change, decided to the anon who asked about benji :)) this ones for you babes

merry smutmas series

Ben insists on having a snowball fight when he wakes up to the massive snowfall but you want nothing more than to stay in bed.

The cold air hits your bare skin when Ben gets out of bed, tossing the duvet off of him. You grumble something, tucking it in under your back so you could warm up again. There's a silence in the room, seeing that it was barely 7am when Ben got up from bed.

You knew for a fact that he didn't have training this morning, he had always just been an early riser - something you definitely weren't.

It was barely a few moments after he got up that he jumped back onto the bed, shifting the duvet once again and waking you from your sleep, or rather, your attempt to fall back asleep.

"Babe," he nudged your side. "Babeeeee, babyyyy, my loveeee." He sung off key into your ear.

You groan, rolling over to pull Ben into you. Your arms wrapped around the man, his face buried in your chest to shut him up. That usually worked but this particular morning, he managed to escape your grasp.

"Darling, get up!" He says excitedly; annoying you already considering how early on a Saturday morning it was.

You yawned, finally sitting up. "What is it? What's going on?"

"LOOK!" He says, pointing to the frosted over window. "It snowed."

"You woke me up to see snow?" You huffed, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. "I've seen snow before, Benjamin."

"No," he rolled his eyes, "come on baby, let's go make me a snowman."

You're half asleep, you're not sure if you're still sleeping or dreaming. "Babe, you're not serious," you scoot on the bed, laying back down.

Ben huffs, a pout on his lips. "C'mon!" He pulls on your arm and you roll your eyes, shrugging him off.

"Pleaseeeee," he leans down, whining like a child when he puts his chin on your shoulder. You sigh, "give me 10 more minutes and then we can go down, okay?"

He was tempted to say no, he would drag you out of bed if he needed to but you looked so cute curled up under the blanket, cuddled into him. Plus the fact that you were now kissing all over his face, attempting to sweeten the deal was the cherry on top.

"Fine, but only 10 minutes."

"10 minutes of silence," you tell him, and he nods. Ben holds you close, his arms wrapping around you and you cuddle into your boyfriend, your head tucked away under his chin.

Ben's warm, you fit against him like you two were made for each other. It was one of your favourite parts of your relationship; Ben holding you. You loved him, sure, but his hugs were the best thing in the world; you forgot about everything else when you were in his arms.

Well, except for one thing.

You two had just woken up and now that Ben's back in bed, pressed up against you, you can feel a certain.. something.

Ben shifts a bit when you wiggle your arm free from underneath you. He doesn't think anything of it, his arms still wrapped around you. The next thing he feels is your hand pressed to his bulge, your fingers rubbing along him.

"Babe-" he groans, reaching down to hold your wrist. You bite back a smile, "hm? What's wrong?"

"Stop that." He whispers through gritted teeth.

Your brows furrow, "stop what?"

"Y/n," he breathes, exhaling as his own hand wraps around yours.

"What? Does that feel good?" You whispered, leaning up to kiss his jaw. Ben nods, knowing if he speaks he'll only dig himself into a deeper hole. "Words, Benjamin." You glance up at him and he clears his throat, his eyes fixed on you when he speaks.

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

"Yes," he swallows, "it feels good."

"Then let me make you feel good," you whisper to him, reaching up to kiss him.

Ben pulls you flush against him, his lips on yours; there's a hunger, something you can't figure out. You aren't sure what's come over him but you liked it, so fucking much.

He watches as you pull away from him, groaning and grumbling under his breath about how you never give him enough time to kiss you and you laugh. You ignore his grumbling, making your way down to his chest, your hand following the trail down to his stomach.

You had barely begun undoing the knot on his joggers when he stopped you, his hand on yours. "What?" You glanced up at him through your lashes.

God, you hoped he wouldn't bring up this stupid snowman right now.

"C'mere," he pulls you back up towards him, kissing you again.

A hand pressed to Ben's cheek, you mumbled between the kisses. "I'll let you kiss me later, lemme just-" your hand slipped between the two of you, rubbing along the obvious bulge in his joggers.

The man groaned, "as much as I want that, I wanna feel you."

You let out a shriek, the sudden smack to your ass making you laugh. "Benjamin!" You smacked his arm, the man smiles and kisses you once more.

"Turn around, love." He whispers, nudging you to flip around, facing the window now.

Ben's shuffling about behind you, he moves the blanket leaving you cold. His hands replace the blanket as a source of heat, pulling your leg back and hooking it over his. You feel his hand between your legs, pushing your panties to the side before his cock brushes along your slit.

His name tumbles from your lips as he pushes into you, his hand resting firmly on your hip, holding you in place as he settles behind you.

It takes you a minute to adjust, Ben's hand caressing over your bare leg in the meantime, whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

He pulls your leg back into his a bit more, moving closer to you but in doing so, he pushes into you a little more. You whimper and the man apologizes. “Sorry love,” he squeezes your hip when he hears the whimper leaving your lips.

“Do that again,” you tell him, leaning back into him.

Ben smiles, pushing his hips towards you again, the tip of his cock hitting exactly where you wanted it.

“More,” you mumble and Ben could never say no to you.

He rolls you two over, pulling you up by your middle onto your hands and knees, your back arched and your face buried in the pillows.

It was needy and messy; feeling you around him drove him mad, hearing you ask him for more was the cherry on top. Ben's hand slid down the curve of your spine, resting between your shoulder blades.

“You’re so fucking perfect, baby.” Ben says, his words sweet like honey but his actions aren’t.

He pulls you up by your hair, your back arched and his hand now on your chin.

“C’mon pretty girl, let me hear all those sounds you make.” He says, the angle you were at puts him deeper than before.

The slightest movements and you can feel it in your stomach. It’s like he can hear your thoughts because his hand moves from your chin to your stomach. An arm wrapped around your torso, his big hand spread over your stomach.

"That's what you want, isn't it?" He taunts, leaning over you so his lips were by your ear.

You can feel him everywhere; every part of you belonged to Ben and he knew as much.

Ben lets you fall back onto the bed, both of his hands on your hips. Your moans are muffled by the fact that your face was buried in the sheets. Ben's thrusts are rough, his hips digging into your ass with each one.

“Maybe I should fuck a baby into you, hm?” He asked no one in particular, he wasn't expecting an answer. "Let you stay home and be my pretty little housewife, you'd like that wouldn't you?"

You mumble something, neither of you catches it. Your thoughts are all fuzzy, the thoughts blurring together into one and you feel yourself slipping over the edge.

You were close enough that you could taste it, a few more thrusts and you’re over the edge, his name falling from your lips. The way you were clenching around him causes him to follow behind you, the man falling onto your back.

The two of you are laying there, Ben on top of you still and you let out a laugh.

“What?” He asks, confused.

“Nothing,” you hum. “I love you,” you tell him.

You lay there for a bit, Ben untangling himself from you to get comfortable. The man looks over at you when you push the blanket off of you.

"Where are you going?"

"Didn't you want to go outside?" You asked, brows furrowed. Ben rolls his eyes and leans over, dragging your arm to pull you back into bed.

You tucked into his side, the two of you cuddled into each other. "The snow will be there later, won't it?" He asks.

You shift a bit, looking up at him. "And if it all melts? And you don't get to make your snowman?"

"It'll be worth it." He smiles, leaning down to kiss you.

taglist: @nosugarallspice @evieepepi08 @mimithepooh @koufaxx @dannyramirezwife-simpaccount @topguncultleader @molliemoo3 @aisharmi @mamako23 @ac3may @lewislcver @miahgonzalez16 @books-and-netflix-pls @wibi96 @bwddermilch @pedrisgatorade @clarasenchant @sainzluvrr // @trentsfav @trentsmyfave @noturbabe22

#ben chilwell #ben chilwell x reader #ben chilwell smut #football x reader #football smut #football x you #football x y/n #merry smutmas xoxo

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torterracotta · 9 months

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When I heard Gerry Duggan get asked on Cerebro, white boy to white boy, about the unfortunate optics of announcing and then immediately murdering the least white team of X-Men in years, I knew we'd be in for some shit. Man, did he deliver - after some evasive waffling about how ORCHIS is meant to be fascist, and how the story's point is to put the collective back of mutantkind even more against the wall than it was any of the last six times something like this has happened.

And, honestly? That's fair! This year's Hellfire Gala is ultimately the first part of a larger story, and history shows it's not going to last forever — hell, does anyone remember what the status quo was immediately before HoXPoX? At least this time most of the characters have implicitly just been sucked into Mother Righteous's magical Poké Ball, rather than outright killed; if anything, that's an improvement. I was fully content to just think "hey, not for me," and get back to ignoring everything beyond Immortal and Sabertooth, secure in the knowledge that certain topics are bound to be handled poorly when almost everyone in the room is white, when Duggan said three words that stopped me in my tracks:

"Keep the faith."

See, that struck me, because for a lot of us, this entire era of comics has been about nothing but faith. I've been reading X-Men, and engaging with fans since I was eight, and I've never seen the kind of collective buy-in from other marginalized readers that I have with Krakoa. X-Twitter (or, I suppose, X-X) has been Blacker, queerer, more disabled, less homogeneous than the fandom has ever been, all of us buying in to the implicit promise that this time things would be different. Sure, the line was headed by a presumably straight white guy, but there were other voices in the room for a change, and it really felt like they were going to be listened to. We thought we'd moved past clunky metaphor, past queerbaitimg and awkward racial gaffes. Storm and Kwannon were getting to do stuff, Arakko was full of amazing characters of color, Cyclops and Wolverine were probably fucking, we were hooked, and we turned out.

It's hard to overemphasize just how wild this was to see in real time. X-Men has always been allegory, sure, but it's traditionally allegory by and for the majority. For years, the readers who might really feel that resonance, those of us who have been hated and feared for the unforgivable crime of being who we are, we were afterthoughts, tolerated at best. We got scraps, "representation" from creators who seemed to be offended by the implication that we would ever want something other than being fetishized tokens. We were, as Hickman so succinctly put it, told that we were less when we knew we were more. And then, out of nowhere, Krakoa made us inescapable.

The two biggest X-Men podcasts, X-Plain the X-Men and Cerebro, are hosted by queer people. X of Words has been rocking the Black, queer experience like no one's business, Mutant Watch has been a joy to listen to and to be on. Not just podcasts, either, in everything from criticism to fanart to cosplay, voices have been elevated that were previously silent. I mean, hell, I've gotten paid to talk about comics, that shit never would have happened four years ago.

All of that was based on faith.

Faith that we were being celebrated, for once, instead of just used. Faith that for whatever growing pains there might be, things were going to be better.

And let's not fuck around here, there were growing pains. In the first year alone we dealt with everything from blatant whitewashing, to queerbaiting — any Sunspot fan can go into detail there, assuming you can get one of us to stop crying for long enough. While that was going on, we watched Bryan Edward Hill (the only non-white writer in that initial wave) put out a book that was, let's face it, at worst aggressively mid, only to be excoriated by certain portions of the fandom, and dropped by the office, while significantly worse books managed to hold fast — er, hold on. Not to say that Fallen Angels was without sin, mind you, the book was packed with enough orientalism to make Chris Claremont blush. But, at the same time, Wolverine's first year ended with him doing what he does best: trying so hard to be Japanese that I had to check to make sure he wasn't Marvel's editor in chief.

Through all of that, we kept the faith.

Things didn't really get much better, of course. Arakko was a fascinating concept, and felt like it damn near doubled Marvel's characters of color. And yeah, the ending of X-Factor was one of the most poorly handled racist messes I've seen this side of… well, any given day on Twitter. Sure, the whitewashing has never stopped, to the point where everything from X-Corp to this week's Hellfire Gala has had to be hastily edited between previews and release. Maybe we keep dealing with stuff like butchered AAVE, even more queerbaiting, Kate Pryde's funeral, the genocide of almost all of those Arraki characters, and whatever the hell was going on with Lost in Way of X. Maybe there's a very real argument to be made that there's something insidious about three straight years of voting to determine if characters like Monet (who, by the by, has been retooled from "basically Superman" to "Black woman with anger powers") deserve the honor of being written by a white man who's stayed writing with his foot in his mouth. I mean, hey! All my white friends in the scene say he's nice, just like Williams, or Howard, or any number of other crusty crackers who are still proud of tripping over the bar Claremont left on the floor in the 80's!

And dammit, we kept the faith!

Even before the issue dropped, the Fall of X has had a lot of us wary. After all, all of the promotion leading up to it has been white guys saying the minority allegory has had it too good for too long, which, whatever, press copy. We all know they've gotta sell books — they, in this case, being the almost exclusively white, almost exclusively male creative teams attached to all of the books in the line. Sure, as Duggan said, the 616 has a fascism problem, but it’s hard not to see this as a deliberate step back from the almost double digit number of non-white creators these past few years — almost as if Marvel has realized they can make space for a fourth ongoing by their favorite white boy if they just throw out a Voices special every couple of months as a containment zone for the darkies. And, hey, considering how good ol’ C.B. got his foot in the door, I can’t even fake surprise. At this point, it’s a minor miracle any time a person of color is tapped for anything that’s expected to last beyond one issue.

In this issue, as a reward for keeping the faith, we got to see something astounding, something that'd bring a tear to the eye of even the most cynical reader — a team that was only half white. My god. And sure, their brutal murder in favor of a team with Kate "Hard-Arrr" Pryde and the Kingpin(????) was only a pit-stop between the resurrection of the suddenly ashy Ms. Marvel and Lourdes Chantel being killed off for the sake of a white woman's angst yet afuckinggain, but ain't that the dream that Malcolm Ten or whoever died for?

The Krakoan era, ultimately, has been the same as every other. Empty promises by white men who show us time and again that there was never any point in expecting anything better. Any meaning we've found, everything of worth, has been what we've made for ourselves.

We've spent years keeping the faith, Gerry, while you and yours have continued to let us down. What the hell do we have to show for it?

#xspoilers #Hellfire Gala 2023 #X-Men

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leverage-ot3 · 2 months

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time for the obligatory post about what episodes I want to see in the upcoming leverage season(s)

(for reference, I made this similar post in 2020 after the reboot was announced. I'm pasting some from that post bc I still want them to happen lol)

new ideas:

I mentioned a date night episode in the last post (apollo really did bless me with foresight for the date night job on that one) but for considerment: ot3 date night. possibly their first date night after they all get together. breanna and sophie know it's happening (harry is, like, peripherally aware) and some crime hijinks are going down and the three of them are frantically trying to stop bad things from happening that are going to interfere with the date. I want to see them going through it behind the metaphorical curtain. I want to see breanna fighting for her life trying to out-hack the hacker that is going to ruin their ten-part itineraried date. harry has to get in a fistfight and eliot is so proud about it when he finds out after everything is over

tree law episode. harry has been frothing at the mouth about it since it was made. his life has been moving him towards this penultimate moment. breanna thinks it's HILARIOUS and cheers him on 100% of the way. she is VERY enthusiastic about this con

I'm not going to mention certain things because I've seen jrogers posting on bluesky social and I know he might be already writing some of those plots

con that the food trucks have plot-relevance. like, one of his food truck stations is being harassed /victimized by, like, a local gang or something that takes advantage of food truck/cart workers and the team steps in. the actual (veteran) food truck workers get involved in the con. leverage international might just have gained a few retainer members

quinn should come back for an episode. I know the actor is friends with ckane. they should make it happen because it would be iconic and I said so

on a similar note, ckane is friends with jensen ackles and. guys. wouldn't it- wouldn't it be extremely funny if a flame from eliot's past named sean sylvester who is a rugged drifter with a questionable past

episode where tara or maggie (or BOTH, can you imagine how powerful that would be???) come back and there is slight flirting with sophie possibly??? that or very obvious chemistry from a past tryst. sophie has slept with both of them, I know it in my heart of hearts. bonus points if tara and maggie fall in love (I think it would be funny. maggie's taste in men is canonically atrocious, I think she deserves someone like tara at this point)

I just want a lot of side characters to come back, okay? sue me I miss them

gonna put the rest under the cut since this post has become obscenely long

not episode-specific, but I want more mentions of the korean leverage team. and all the other teams too! we know that in canon there is the south korean one, the nigerian one, and one in london (I think that's it for mentions so far, but correct me if I'm wrong!)

episodes addressing issues with american imperialism and its effects on minorities and marginalized communities, specifically within this country (there aren't a lot of episodes where they are actively out of country)

dear fucking god take a more abolitionist stance on policing I'm begging. would it KILL you to not be weird about cops? pls just punch some more cops. take down white supremacist cops, I'm sure you can scrounge something up bffrrn

women's rights episodes. I know it's kind of recent, but episodes about accessibility of stuff like birth control, abortion access, etc. y'all are capable of making excellent episodes on that I know it

more climate crisis-related episodes. god knows you're feeling it in the deep south

taking down a corrupt megachurch pastor (although lbr, there is no ethical megachurch anything and you can fight me on this)

something to do with ace rights bc I think it would be really cool to see the team advocate for that stuff, especially since breanna is canon ace

helping a polycule that is being victimized by X organization/entity (maybe a housing association or medical or something???). breanna is bombastic side-eyeing the ot3 the entire time. it is making hardison sweat. sophie thinks it's hilarious

taking down 'writers' that use ai and self-publish AND/OR people that take original/fan works off of like ao3 and wattpad and publish them for personal profits without the author's consent. breanna would have a field day with this (god herself could try to convince me that girl does not read/write fanfic and I wouldn't believe it)

episode about underfunded public schools. we saw corrupt private schools in the fairy godparents job but I want an episode that would make abbot elementary writers proud

episode addressing native/indigenous. eliot is from oklahoma, I'm sure he is well aware of the health/job/economic/etc disparities on reservations. I will email jrogers about it myself if I have to- it anyone can get people going about native rights through a tv show it would be leverage.

I sent an ask to wil wheaton once asking if he was open to returning to leverage and I think he said he would be down for it. but chaos either has to be a reluctant ally to leverage international and is being handled by quinn as a hitter OR he is just. in jail. bc he sucks.

bpas and/or pfas episode. breanna has mentioned microplastics before but I want more

the team tears the shit out of conversion therapy camp owners and plants the seeds for legislation that will punish parents that try to send their kids to those hellscapes

while we're at it, I'd love to see an ep where they tackle the trans bathroom issue. god knows the news doesn't talk about it nearly enough

something to do with foster care. they end up starting some sort of foster care network that past clients/allies can take part in. maybe a mentorship program for kids that want to do what they do one day (they are very reluctant to encourage kids to participate in crime BUT if that is the avenue that they are going to inevitably go towards, they guide them in the right direction). nana makes an appearance (*insert 'everybody liked that' meme*)

prison industrial complex episode. I KNOW we had the jailhouse job BUT we really need this in our year of 2024

another episode on corrupt influencers. maybe influencer parents? dear god pls take them down a notch

ep where there is an underlying message that tells you how to avoid becoming victim to scams or something, or like is a tutorial for how to identify scams you might fall victim to (sorry, I just have to say this after two separate people tried to pig butcher me in less than two (2) weeks))

not to say I want them to do an ep calling out cop city, but it would feel really good to watch the leverage team rip that concept to SHREDS

the minimum wage job. need I say more? we deserve the catharsis

pls go after goodwill execs, esp the ones in the pnw that have their sector as for-profit and have become millionaires+ because of it while paying their staff (especially disabled staff) fucking pennies

while we're on the topic, pls call out salvation army (the corporation)

I can probably go on for like five hours so I'll stop here

ep that we get to see harry and his daughter bond :)

job where they get to lower the price of insulin (and other drugs)

actually, you know what? an episode where the crew annihilates big pharma and terrible insurance companies

I think that breanna should be able to go off about mass/over consumption as a treat. I 100% believe she has Thoughts about it. like, she will absolutely call out the corporations that are responsible for these trends, but also she should be allowed to mention our tendency for overconsumption as a society. obviously there are a few corporations that are doing most of the world's pollution/ecological damage, but we should be doing our part too and I KNOW it would be in-character for her to go off on it

I bet she has a LOT to say about influencers, tbh. obviously not all influencers are bad, but there are sooooo many problematic ones and problems within the influencer industry

sizing discrimination in the modeling/clothing industry. let eliot talk about how there are no perfect bodies. also while I'm on the subject, can we PLS have more body-diverse background actors on the show? I know this is nitpicky but I'd really love to see some more people that look like me, even if they are just in the background

a thinly veiled writers' rights episode (I'm looking at you media execs and the stupid amount of time it took for you to comply to the WGA demands)

something to do with media companies making entire movies/tv shows and then fucking cancelling them/not releasing them and using them as tax write-offs. every time it happens it baffles me. that is cartoonishly stupid villain shit. I can't imagine lovingly working on a project for a year plus and then the company just going, nah, we aren't going to release it because you suck and it's a good business move

ai art and ai in general. please. let it BURN

okay now I'm done

ideas from the previous post that I still want:

comicon job. I said it before and I will say it again- we deserve it!!! come on, it's the age of the geek after all!!! (in the last post I also said a ren faire ep, but I will let the card game job count for that)

summer camp ep? I saw a tumblr fic about it and I think it could be cute. it could kinda be like the fairy godparents job- eliot in charge of some type of sports (archery, fencing, etc), hardison would be in charge of arts and crafts (this boy might be a genius with tech and in general tbh, but the show did such a good job of showing that he’s also very talented with the arts- sculpting the statue for the miracle job, forging the old diary in the king george job, etc), parker would LOVE to be in charge of a high ropes course. breanna would totally be down for some sort of nerdy kid robotics or simple, traditional camp games (can't go wrong with the classics. everyone loves making bracelets!) I feel like it's too stereotypical to have sophie have kids put on a play but we all know that's exactly what she would do. idk for harry? I think he has the same traditional camp activities vibe as breanna. he's in it for the nostalgia. OR something to do with videogames

please, please, please, please, please make an episode where they take down a cult, im begging. that would be such a good episode. definitely a mindfuck episode like the experimental job (4x11). I’ve seen a few posts about a job dealing with a cult (here’s one) and I think it would be really interesting

MORE STERLING being DONE with leverage shenanigans!!! give me feral!sterling like in the frame-up job (5x10)!!! give me sterling that protests every step of the way but conveniently looks away and “whoops, the team just disappeared, I have no idea how that happened!!! diddly dang darn it, they got away again!!! sorry guys!!!” bonus points if mcsweeten is there too and also participates in intervening hijinks

the team takes down a circus that is still using and abusing wild animals!!! because first I’d LOVE to see acrobat!parker swinging up in the air like a pro and being in her element, but also because those places are the fucking worst and need to Go Down. give me eliot having to pose as an animal trainer with deep sympathy for the animals being abused, quietly talking soothing words to them when he thinks no one is around (correction: hardison is, in fact, around, and filming his boyfriend’s softness to save for later). give me charismatic hardison playing the role of ringmaster, running and flaunting about and being passive-aggressive to the circus master. give me eliot freeing the animals from their chains when they are finally able to shut the place down and relocate the animals to sanctuaries (his hands shaking just a little as twists the key in the lock, because he too was once an abused, caged animal in his own right and he knows how liberating it is to finally be free).

#i have SO much to say about native rights and I'd give a kidney to be able to have it shown for all on a wide reaching show #for the love of god it's the least we can do #sorry yall im just. really passionate about native rights. I made myself a nuisance to all of my hs history professors talking about it #every chance i got. if the textbooks won't talk about it i will make my presentation about it and educate my peers my goddam self if i have #to #anyway. i will get off the soap box now. but yeah educate yourself on native/indigenous rights (based off where you live too)#episode ideas #leverage redemption #leverage redemption s3 #speculation #mine #parker #alec hardison #eliot spencer #leverage ot3 #parker x hardison x eliot #sophie devereaux #harry wilson #breanna casey #mr quinn #quinn #side characters #leverage international #tara cole #maggie collins #jim sterling #recurring characters #sophie x maggie #sophie x tara #maggie x tara

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