there's another ranchers/zits/giggs au story concept in my head i've been playing with, so let's-- just call this a demo.
Feel free to send asks or just give general feedback, not only will it help me to flesh out the au more, it'll also give me more ideas on where to go. I've seen similar aus out there, but nothing quite like this one-- or having all the same concepts as this one. If people like it, I might turn it into an actual longfic. but i tend to run out of steam on my longfics (mostly due to a lack of interaction tbh. if no one else is excited about my au, then it's not worth pursuing, right? but that's my problem and something I have to work through myself, not something for anyone else to fix)
Anyway.
This is a thing.
The moment Jimmy laid eyes on Tango, he knew something was-- off-- about him.
They'd met him in a tavern, in the small town that lay below the abandoned Deepfrost Citadel. Jimmy's adventuring troupe had been commissioned with finding an artifact in the Citadel, and bringing it back to its rightful owner. The bounty offered would be enough to pay off the troupe's debts and much much more. When they'd asked around for any sort of maps, or a guide, the tavern keeper had pointed them over to Tango.
"He's the only one to have ever made it out of that cursed place alive." The dwarf had told them, pointing to where their future guide was sitting in the corner, "If you want a guide, he's the only one who can."
Jimmy's sense for danger had shivered up his spine and stolen his breath the moment he looked over. But-- no one in his troupe paid any attention to him anyway.
Besides, the negotiations had gone well, Tango seemed amical enough, and no one else seemed to have a problem with him. It was only Jimmy, and his overzealous avian anxiety. They would pay Tango half his fee up front, and half when they got back to the village safely.
It took them half a week to get up to the Citadel, and that was with the help and knowledge of Tango as their guide. Jimmy kept him at arms' length, not quite knowing why but deciding to trust his gut on this one. Tango was dangerous, in a way that he couldn't figure out. He'd brought it up to the others in his troupe, but none of them believed him. They all loved Tango. He was clever, quick to laugh and even quicker to crack a joke, and ever so useful.
By the time they made it to the door of the Citadel, Tango had become an invaluable member of the troupe.
Tango disappeared that first night, spent barricaded in an outlying tower and hoping not to freeze to death. Jimmy had been on watch, and between one glance and the next, Tango hadn't been in his bedroll anymore.
But-- he'd been right back in the morning, acting like Jimmy didn't know what he was talking about.
It was the little things that kept setting Jimmy on edge. Tango knew a little too much about the Citadel, he'd found the 'hidden' door to the crypts too easily, had pushed the troupe to descend into the depths faster than was safe, not letting them scout it with a familiar like they normally would. He could pick the locks almost like he had a silent knock spell in his fingers, and somehow knew his way through the maze of icy caverns like the back of his hand.
And every night, after everyone was asleep, he disappeared. Jimmy was the only one who noticed. No one else believed him either, did they just-- not notice the empty bedroll when they were on watch?
When they finally believed him, it wasn't until Tango disappeared for good. One morning, he just-- didn't come back.
Then the monsters started appearing.
One thing lead to another as they pressed deeper and deeper into the dungeon under the Citadel, icy crypts full of wraiths and furry beasts morphing into wet caverns covered in mushrooms and a pirate ship complete with it's undead crew; leading down into black mines that had supposedly been blocked off by cave ins over a hundred years ago-- and before they knew it they'd lost a member of the troupe-- their healer-- and then they were tripping tail over teakettle into a maze so dark and cold that even those in the troupe with darkvision couldn't see.
It spat them out into a chamber not unlike the throne room found mirrored high above in the Deepfrost Citadel. It was full of gold and magic and things that would make any adventurer drool at the prospect of having them to keep.
Jimmy hadn't felt 'safe'-- not since he'd first met Tango in that tavern all those weeks ago-- but the sense of someone watching them stayed his hand.
The rest of the troupe had gotten busy, plundering everything in reach and searching for the artifact they'd been sent to collect.
But not Jimmy.
When asked why he wasn't stuffing his pockets with gold, he waved off the troupe with the excuse of keeping watch. After all, there were the monsters to contend with still--
Tango's giggle seemed to come from everywhere at once.
"Oh, you really should have listened to poor, sweet Jimmy when you had the chance~"
And suddenly Tango was there, on the throne in the center of the room, but instead of the blond, brown-eyed and rough-hewn guide they'd come to know and trust, it was a creature made of frost and shadows.
Jimmy's heart dropped out his stomach.
"Dragon--!"
Oh, they were dead.
Scratch that. Apparently everyone but Jimmy was dead.
Not like that was much better.
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I was watching this guy play Pokémon Conquest (well more accurately his highlights), and I tell you, I was in agony over his decisions
He did not recruit more allies or strengthen his forces before going to challenge a kingdom. He goes in April to face Ignis, which fair, and then he recruits Rikyū. Then immediately the month after he goes to challenge Greenleaf, with only three forces. And then after recruiting one more person with a Cottonee, since all he got during the challenge was the Sewaddle guy, he immediately goes to Fontaine. And then right after that, he goes to Violight. And then immediately after that, he gets the idea to challenge Chrysalia and Pugilis! By this point he starts losing bad, first to Chrysalia, then he tries Pugilis, and afterwards he stops playing
And the entire time post Rikyū, I was like “WHAT ARE YOU DOING???”, because I’ve been playing this game for years, and you need proper forces and strength before you go challenge a kingdom, you don’t go challenge them at the first opportunity! Yeah sure maybe I play it safe, getting as many as I can, but it’s like, you can’t do this, my guy, you will get beaten!
Sorry I just wanted to relay my agony over this experience
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